Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

All eyes snapped towards Jimin who was looking at the entry way of the school cafeteria. Jimin looked blown away with wide eyes and his jaw dropped. He looked absolutely bewildered and it would have actually been funny if the boys weren’t so curious.

Taehyung looked at Jimin while the latter was still gaping openly, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Following Jimin’s line of sight, the boys themselves felt their own jaw drop.

Yoongi’s eyes were never that wide. His eyes were always almost half shut at any time of the day. But the sight in front of him surprised him so much that his eyes surely widened to its full capacity.

“Holy shit!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“Is that...” Hoseok was at a loss for words.

“KIM NAMJOON!” It was Seokjin who screamed loud enough to grab even Namjoon’s attention.

Namjoon looked sinful, to put it nicely.

The man looked absolutely fuckable, and the six boys were sure that everyone in the cafeteria had the same thoughts if the people looking at the student body president with wide lust filled eyes, and mouths half drooling were anything to go by. It was time for dinner, and there was fairly a large crowd gathered to witness the sexy sight.

Namjoon, in his entirely dense nature, was completely oblivious to the sudden shift in the air. The surprised look he sent to Seokjin after his eldest hyung had called him over would have almost been adorable, if he just didn’t embody the word sexy at the moment.

Namjoon was dressed in black leather pants, with slits by the knees, and it was so tight that everyone could see every curve of his gorgeous thighs. Jungkook was, to nicely put it, drooling at the sight of Namjoon’s legs. But that wasn’t just it. The boy was dressed in a black tank top that dipped too low, showing the upper portion of his pecks, and flawless collarbones. His honey golden skin was in perfect sight, and the dip the tank top provided gave everyone a glimpse on how big the student body president’s pecks were. And they were huge.

But as if that wasn’t enough, Namjoon was sporting a black leather jacket just to make the human race suffer a little harder. The jacket gave him an aura of sexiness, almost putting every female (and a lot of male) species to their knees, ready for their student body president, dressed like some sort of sexy biker, to punish. His hair was styled upward to frame his forehead, and his blonde hair was sporting a red bandana that greatly accentuated his handsome face. He finished his looked with black combat boots that only added to his height even more.

But the absolute icing on the cake was the choker wrapped around Namjoon’s long and slender neck. There was a black lace choker on top of Namjoon’s sinful and prominent collarbones, with a single diamond pendant and it was enough to send the boys into frenzy. A roar of possessiveness rushed into Taehyung when he noticed that it was the choker he had gifted his hyung just a month ago.

Hoseok was the first to snap out of their trance. Hoseok quickly took a gulp of water that he had on their table. After Seokjin had called for Namjoon, the student body president had smiled, completely oblivious to the suffering he placed the entire student body into. Namjoon even sent them a cute little wave before moving towards their table far away from the cafeteria doors.

It was suddenly too hot for everyone, and even Namjoon felt that heat that the boy suddenly had to remove his jacket.

As he walked like some sort of fashion model in a runway towards their table, he slowly removed his black leather jacket. Others may say that he was doing it on purpose just to make the entire cafeteria breathe a little harder, but the boys knew that the student body president was just being cautious of not hitting anyone with his long arms. But that didn’t make him any less sexy.

Upon closer inspection, Namjoon was even sporting some make up that made his endearing eyes look sexy with a hint of eyeliner, and his plump lips looking extra red. Fuck this shit.

When the jacket was removed, everyone suddenly had a view of his lean arms – not too muscular, but toned enough to carry someone in them. The mouth of every student and staff watered at the sight, and it was enough for the boys to regain their senses and to glare at their student body president.

“Kim Namjoon, put that jacket back on!” Yoongi snapped toward his dongsaeng. Namjoon was showing off his chest, his thighs, his collarbones, and now his arms, and the possessive streak in him couldn’t help but reveal itself when Yoongi began to notice the mouth watering looks people sent towards Namjoon’s way.

Namjoon just looked at his hyung in bewilderment at the sudden command, but being the cheeky brat he is, he answered his hyung whining, “But hyung, it’s so hot in here. I’ll put it back once I go outside.”

“You’re the reason it’s so fucking hot in here.” Taehyung mumbled under his breath, not enough for Namjoon to hear, but enough for Yoongi to send an even harder glare towards Namjoon once he realized the truth behind Taehyung’s words.

“What the fuck are you wearing hyung?” Jimin snapped towards Namjoon, feeling entirely out of it at the sight of Namjoon’s prominent collarbones. Jimin couldn’t decide if he wanted to devour Namjoon right then and there or to cover him up so that no one else could see how beautiful his baby is.

But before Namjoon could answer, someone wolf whistled from behind him, “Looking hot, Mr. President.”

It was Jackson. Jackson was the school’s resident flirt, and right now his flirting was directed to the hottest male specie in the cafeteria. The six boys immediately turned their glare towards the man flirting with their Namjoon. Of course, Jackson couldn’t wait to make a move on their student body president.

Namjoon, for the life of him, only blushed at the compliment Jackson sent his way. He ducked his head, with his pink cheeks, before mumbling, “Stop it, Jacksonie hyung. You’re embarrassing.”

Jackson merely chuckled, before sending Namjoon a cheeky smile as he crossed his arms, “Not my fault you look burning hot today, baby, why are you all dressed up? Tell hyung, what’s the occasion?”

Seokjin and Jungkook sent Jackson their hardest glare when they heard Jackson calling Namjoon ‘baby’. Seokjin scowled at the flirt before muttering angrily, “Not your baby.”

Jackson ignored Seokjin, while Namjoon blushed harder at both his hyungs’ words.

Namjoon muttered something incoherent that had both Jackson and the six boys straining their ears to hear Namjoon’s answer.

“What was that, hyung?” Jungkook asked cutely.

Namjoon sighed before looking up, his face completely red. “I’m going to a party tonight.”

“The fuck you are.” Jimin snapped to glare at his tallest hyung.

Jackson merely laughed at both Namjoon’s shyness and Jimin’s reaction. Jackson was completely enamoured by Namjoon’s look. He was immediately besotted the moment Namjoon entered their cafeteria. But Jackson knew that Namjoon was already spoken for by the six boys that looked at their student body president with both heart eyes and a growing boner. He was only here to harmlessly flirt and poke fun.

“Namjoonie’s going to a party? That’s new! Who managed to get you out of the library huh?” Jackson only teased his good friend, trying to ignore his own boner. Namjoon looked so sexy up close.

Namjoon merely glared Jackson, but the blush on his face sent the message that he was indeed in the library earlier. Still scowling, Namjoon muttered angrily, “Jihyo and Nayeon.”

The answer came to a surprise to both Jackson and the six other boys. Hoseok managed to ask Namjoon, “What do you mean Jihyo and Nayeon? What did your Vice President and her best friend do to talk you into going to a party?”

“I kind of owe Jihyo a favor from last week when she covered for me for one meeting when you all dragged me camping out of the blue. And now, Jihyo asked me to go to a party with her and Nayeon because they plan on getting drunk and they would need someone to take care of them.” Namjoon said sheepishly.

“So you could have gone wearing, I don’t know, a fucking plain shirt and some jeans. You didn’t have to look that fucking sexy, hyung.” Taehyung muttered angrily, unable to stand in fear of his boner showing through his jeans.

“That’s the thing,” Namjoon sighed, “Part of me repaying her included letting her and Nayeon dress me up. Trust me, those two girls are a force together, especially when they were rummaging my closet and found me these pair of pants and top that I didn’t even know I owned.”

“Can I have a word with those two girls?” Yoongi muttered angrily, preparing a mental scolding to those two troublemakers.

“Well I definitely know who to thank now, though.” Jackson chuckled, running his hair through his hair and he gave Namjoon a slow once-over, “They did a fucking nice job.”

“Go away, Jackson!” Hoseok said, unable to take Jackson’s constant flirting with their Namjoon.

“Well then that’s my cue to go. Hey, I might go to this party you’re talking about Joon ah. This the one at Chan’s place, right? I might to see you there dancing in those tight leather pants.” Jackson really had this bad habit of making Namjoon blush hard.

“The fuck you are getting any close to our Namjoon, Jackson hyung. Go away now, we still have to talk to Namjoon.” Jimin snapped at the older student that was still ogling Namjoon’s chest. This did not go unnoticed by Jungkook as he sent another hard glare towards Jackson.

Jackson remained undeterred by their threats and glares and merely sent a cheeky wink to Namjoon before muttering a ‘Later, baby’ to Namjoon.

“For fuck’s sake, you’re not even at the party yet and someone’s already trying to get into your pants. The fuck are you thinking Namjoon ah?” Yoongi, giving Namjoon a once over, already felt the migraine that came with seeing the choker on Namjoon’s gorgeous neck.

“Sorry hyung,” At least Namjoon managed to look guilty, “I couldn’t really say no to Jihyo after the favor she pulled for me.”

“May I ask though? What’s the point of her dressing you up like this?” Jimin asked, still unable to look away from the sight of his hyung’s upper pecks.

“They said no one goes to parties in simple pants and a shirt, so they made it their life mission to dress me like...” Namjoon just pointed at his outfit to complete his sentence.

“Like fucking sin, if that’s what you mean.” Jungkook sighed as he looked at Namjoon’s thighs. How was it possible that they looked even better than they did the first time he’d seen them years ago.

Namjoon merely gave them a one shoulder shrug and a pout, before saying, “I do feel slightly exposed though.”

“You are not just slightly exposed, Kim Namjoon!” Seokjin stood up, his ears getting red as they do when he’s shy or incredibly mad. “You look like you lack some fucking fabric to cover your chest and arms! And winter’s over Namjoon, if you had no plans to put on your jacket for the rest of the night, then why the fuck would you wear a tank top cut so low. And don’t get me started on that choker, the fuck do you want to achieve with looking like you’re absolutely fuckable, Kim Namjoon?” All this was said in one breath, and with Seokjin’s head slightly shaking form left to right, as they do when he was fuming.

It was safe to say that at the end of Seokjin’s statement, Namjoon was blushing so hard that his eyes were casted downwards – both to avoid looking at angry Seokjin and the rest of the student body’s reaction at Seokjin’s outburst.

They heard two girls laughing behind Namjoon and the seven boys turned their attention to whoever was behind the student body president.

Speaking of the devils.

“I’m assuming you liked our masterpiece.” Jihyo smiled smugly seeing the flustered reaction the six boys sent towards her president. If anything, that was her main goal, she always wanted to see how her oppas and Jungkook would react when they see Namjoon looking immorally hot.

“You two!” Hoseok snapped his attention towards the two laughing girls before sending them a glare of his own. “What the hell did you want to achieve by dressing him up like that?”

“Like the hottest guy in the planet, you mean.” Nayeon suggested cheekily, “Well if you want to know, we actually wanted Namjoon oppa to get laid tonight.”

All six boys growled at Nayeon’s teasing words, while Namjoon merely blushed and slightly bumped the younger girl’s shoulder at her suggestive words.

“The hell is he getting laid tonight. If that was what you wanted, you can kiss having a driver tonight goodbye. He’s not coming with you.” Yoongi managed to say in his most authoritative tone, but the girls merely laughed at his way.

“But Yoongi oppa,” Jihyo pouted with a glint of mischievousness in her eyes that contrasted her pout, “I did not spend half an hour trying to put eyeliner on Namjoon oppa’s eyes just for you not to let him go. He’s coming with us, because he owes me a favor, right oppa?”

Namjoon directed a glare towards his vice president before sighing, “Yeah.”

“See! We’re actually here to say goodbye. We have to go now. The party’s already started and I really am in a mood for a drink.” Jihyo looked at the boys cheekily, knowing that she won this argument.

“Fine, we’ll let Namjoon hyung come with you to the party. But you better not let anyone even get close to him Jihyo-yah, Nayeon-ah.” Taehyung directed a pointed look towards the two girls before turning to Namjoon, “And you, hyung, you’re going to come home tonight in our apartment, and you are absolutely not allowed to get laid, make out, or even look at any other guy or girl in the party.”

“I already know that Taehyung-ah, have some faith in me. These two are just teasing.” Namjoon muttered shyly.

“Well now that it’s settled,” Nayeon looped her right arm with Namjoon’s left one, as Jihyo looped her left arm with Namjoon’s right, “We’re going to go. Oppa’s leather pants deserve to be shown off, right Jihyo yah?”

“Absolutely!” Jihyo giggled.

“Jihyo, Nayeon!” Jimin scolded the two witches disguised as cute, innocent girls.

“Relax, Jimin oppa!” Jihyo dramatically rolled her eyes with a teasing smirk, “Like we said, we wanted Namjoon oppa to get laid tonight, and it seems that he will – just not with any guy from the party.” And with that she winked towards the six boys as Nayeon laughed and matched her teasing smirk.

Namjoon and the boys barely had time to say proper goodbyes, when the two small girls dragged the student body president out of the cafeteria.

“I shouldn’t have voted for Jihyo as vice president. I kind of regret that now.” Jungkook muttered angrily when his handsome hyung was finally out of his sight.

That night, the six boys waited up as late as one in the morning, until Namjoon finally arrived. He’s wearing the jacket now (thankfully), and he does not look absolutely hammered – tired maybe, but not wasted.

“Were you a good boy tonight, baby?” Jimin asked the moment Namjoon entered their apartment, and his eyes immediately trained on Namjoon’s long legs in those tight leather pants. All the boys stood up as they made their way towards Namjoon by the door.

Namjoon, noticing the shift in the air, fiddled with his collar, before muttering, “Yes, I was, daddy.”

“And no one flirted with you, baby?” Hoseok asked as he caged Namjoon in his arms, trying to stop the possessive streak in him from consuming him entirely.

“They did, daddy,” Namjoon knew not to lie. “But I didn’t flirt back, I swear.”

“And no touched you?” Taehyung said as he left an open mouthed kiss on Namjoon’s neck on top of the choker he had gifted Namjoon.

“I didn’t let them, daddy. I’m yours, and only yours.” Namjoon said as his eyes closed in pleasure at the feeling of Taehyung’s lips on his neck.

“Good boy.” Seokjin answered as he was finally unable to resist diving to kiss Namjoon’s plump lips. The make-up has faded, but Namjoon’s lips remained naturally red, lusciously full, and amazingly delicious.

That night, that sinful outfit was placed rightfully where it should be – on their bedroom floor, completely discarded. The outfit may have been breathtakingly sexy, but nothing was sexier than the sight of Namjoon’s naked body sprawled in the bed only for the six of them to see, to kiss, to mark, and to pleasure.

“They can look, but no one can touch you, right baby?” Yoongi asked as he left another mark on top of Namjoon’s beautiful collarbones.

“Only you daddies, only the six of you.”

When they were all finally satisfied with the way Namjoon was panting beneath them, and with the number of marks in his beautiful body, Jungkook made a mental note to burn Namjoon’s leather pants and low cut tank top. His hyung will never wear those again.

Let that outfit be damned, Namjoon was only theirs to admire.

Chapter Text

Dance recitals were always both a blessing and a freaking curse.

Jimin loves dancing more than he loves the colors of the sunset, the orange and light peach hues that he managed to paint on to his hair this season. Jimin loves dancing more than he loves dusk bike rides when the streets are its quietest, and the rivers are in its most peaceful states. Jimin adores the art of finesse movement that goes along different types of beats. Jimin loves the expressions that dance manages to express wordlessly.

Jimin loves dance, because dance is his first love.

But it didn’t mean that having dance in his life didn’t come with back pains and twisted ankles – especially now that the dance recital is right around the corner. The number of times Jimin came home late at night groaning in pain, plummeting to his couch, would become a norm as the dance recital came closer.

But Jimin had to endure it. Jimin loved dance, after all.

Or maybe he loved what came with the pain of dancing.

Because coming home to his apartment while his thighs were still burning, meant a certain dimpled boy would come right to his side with ice packs on his hand, gushing over his roommate’s well being as he lightly scolds the younger for straining his body a little bit harder than it already did the previous night.

Maybe he did love those lectures even as he teased his hyung for acting like his mother, only for the older to pinch his already aching thighs. Dance recitals were truly a pain in the ass, and a pain to his back, and also to his legs.

It didn’t matter though, because tonight was dance recital, and after tonight, they could return to their usual routine of normalcy. Jimin would no longer have to go home feeling as if he lost another limb, and he would have it in him to stay a little longer at the morning to cuddle his giant roommate.

Since Namjoon always came to Jimin’s recital, it’s part of the job description of being my college roommate and bestest friend in the whole wide world hyungie, Jimin notes, Namjoon no longer needs to ask the young dancer about the basic details, and most importantly, where he would be sitting.

It is almost customary that Namjoon sits at that spot at the middle aisle, on the fifth row, on the fourth seat from the left. Jimin thinks it already has Namjoon’s name on it, for nobody ever tries to sit on it anymore, knowing it was especially reserved for his special and beloved guest. Before every recital, Jimin would peek his little head from the curtain and look at that spot, and he would immediately see his hyung waving and smiling at him with that dimpled smile that he is so incredibly fond of. Hidden below his seat, would be a bouquet of flowers that Jimin insists is no longer needed for every recital, but he secretly loves it when Namjoon insists that beautiful flowers are a must for the most beautiful dancer.

And yes, Jimin loves the flowers. But he loves the person who gave the flowers even more.

So imagine Jimin’s surprise, when five minutes before his recital and he peeks from the curtain, he finds that seat empty, and with no signs of his dimpled hyung nearby.

Jimin barely has time to retrieve his phone as he hears their head choreographer already asking the dancers to line up. Jimin would not perform until the third set but it was a strict rule that no phones were allowed when the show begins, regardless if you were to perform next or not – just to ensure that all the dancers stay focused.

‘Hyung where are you? Did you forget that it’s my recital tonight?’ Jimin speed texted Namjoon as he hears the last call for dancers to go line up back stage.

Jimin hears his phone buzz as he reads Namjoon reply, ‘I’m sorry Jimin-ah.’

Still seeing the three dots on Namjoon’s side of the conversation, Jimin waits anxiously for his explanation. But the head choreographer calls Jimin by name when he sees that Jimin was still holding his phone. Jimin was then forced to switch off his mobile device and hide it in his bag without knowing what Namjoon had to say.

Needless to say that Jimin was anxious. And upset. And probably angry. Mostly sad.

The lights are dimmed, and the first beat of the first song begins, and the dancers for the first set of performance begin to enter stage in their practiced entrance.

And still, Namjoon is nowhere to be seen.

This does not go unnoticed by Taehyung, who is a part of the dancers for the first performance. The moment the first of set of dancers hear their applause for a job well done, Taehyung runs up to his smaller friend backstage, with a look of surprise.

“Jiminie, where’s Namjoon hyung? He wasn’t in his seat.” Taehyung looks at his friend anxiously knowing that Jimin wouldn’t be able to give it all in his performance if Namjoon wasn’t there.

“I don’t know too, Taehyung-ah,” Jimin whispers dejectedly, his heart feeling heavy knowing that his roommate and the man he loves with his whole heart wouldn’t be able to watch him tonight.

“Oh he’ll come Minnie, it’s totally unlike hyung to not come. He’ll make it to your performance, I know it.” Taehyung assures his good friend half-heartedly, also unsure why his tallest hyung would not be here tonight to support his roommate.

“I hope so.” Jimin mumbles already feeling the heaviness of sadness weighing in his heart. He’s so tempted to run to his bag and just take a peek at his phone, just to know why Namjoon isn’t coming tonight. He didn’t even tell Jimin that he wouldn’t be able to make it.

But alas, Jimin’s time to perform comes, and that seat is still empty.

Jimin would dance with four other dancers, but Jimin takes the center for this set. Jimin had practiced his dance for months on end, and that is why he refuses to give this performance less than his all, or at least the all that he could muster with the knowledge that the only person he wishes to dance for, isn’t there that night.

Jimin performs with exquisite grace and finesse. Every turn is polished to perfection, every step is perfectly calculated, and every sway is executed with a refinement that is uniquely Jimin. He gives the performance the best that he could, and if the applause after his performance was anything to go by, Jimin could at least say that his performance was good enough.

Too bad Namjoon didn’t see how good he was tonight.

With a heavy heart, Jimin decides to pick up his bag, without checking his phone, and rushes to the exit door. The whole show be damned, there was no need for him anymore. And apparently, no one was even there waiting for him at the end of the show. Jimin was already halfway in tears as he leaves the dance building through the exit door from backstage, when he hears someone call for his name.

“Minnie!”

Someone exclaims, as a hand snakes to his right wrist, immediately halting him from taking another step further.

The hand pulls at his wrist and it forces Jimin to turn around and look at the person who called. But before he can process the face in front of him, he was immediately crushed to the taller boy’s chest, with that single hand that grabbed his wrist letting go, and instead wrapping around his small frame.

Jimin already felt the tears threatening to escape once again. He refused to hug back the boy that was the reason behind his heavy heart and crushed feelings. And the boy noticing that his smaller friend was refusing to return his gesture, immediately pulled back, and cupped the dancer’s face in his big hand to have him look directly to his eyes.

They stayed in that position for a few moments. The exit from the backstage was basically deserted. Not a single soul out there tonight to witness the sight of Jimin experiencing a heartbreak.

“Min, please talk to me.” Namjoon pleads to his smaller friend.

“You weren’t here tonight.” Jimin mutters as a tear finally escapes from his eyes. Call him emotional, call him whiny, but Jimin held a great value to his recitals, and knowing that the person he valued the most wasn’t there to watch him tonight, greatly broke his heart.

The taller boy was suddenly caught between his smile, and the small smile on Namjoon’s face had Jimin’s eyebrow scrunching up in confusion. Was Namjoon laughing at his expense?

“I should have known you weren’t going to read my texts even as you left the building.” Namjoon smiled fondly at the younger dancer, as he gently wiped off the tears from Jimin’s cheeks with the pads of his right thumb.

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jimin’s faced scrunched up in confusion.

“Minnie, I watched you tonight. I was there.” Namjoon says firmly.

“No you were not hyung, you weren’t in your seat.” Jimin retaliated, refusing to believe what he did not see.

“Well that’s the part where my texts come in Jiminie. I admit I was a bit late, I came around the second song. I was actually texting you to know if it would be wrong of me to jump to my seat mid performance knowing that I’m not exactly tiny and my seat’s in the front and middle. I mean, etiquette and all that.” Namjoon rants shyly, “I figured it would be rude of me to go to my seat when the show has long taken off, so I watched you from the back. I was there, Minnie, I swear, you were so beautiful.”

Namjoon made it a point to look directly to the dancer’s eyes to show off his sincerity and honesty, but Jimin’s heart was still blurred with pain, and therefore, a part of him still questioned the truth.

“I don’t believe you.” Jimin mutters, still obviously upset.

Namjoon lets go of Jimin to sigh dramatically with a roll of his eyes, feigning annoyance. But the smile on his lips says otherwise. He silently grabs his phone, still with one hand, his other hand, hidden on his back, and quickly scrolls to it, when he finally sees what he’s looking for and shows it to Jimin.

It was a video, one that would only be personally taken from the angle at the back. It could have been someone else’s shot, but the small mutters of ‘Wow’ ‘Beautiful’ and ‘Oh my God’ assured Jimin that it was in fact taken by the tall handsome boy.

That fact alone lifted the heavy melancholy in Jimin’s heart – enough to stop the tears from flowing, but not enough to quench his upset mind.

“So you watched it, that still does not explain why you were late tonight Joonie.” Jimin mutters with a small pout, and it took everything in Namjoon not to point out that Jimin’s pout just made upset Jimin look a thousand times cuter that he already is.

“Well,” Namjoon begins his anecdote with a nervous chuckle. “Remember when you were looking at flower arrangements the other week, and when you saw a flower arrangement that looked like the sunset, you realized you wanted your hair in the same colors. I mean that’s why your hair is like peachy and orangey now.”

Jimin barely hummed in acknowledgement, not entirely knowing where Namjoon was going with his story. Namjoon’s other hand was still hidden from his sight.

“So I kind of figured, ‘Hey, why not get you the same bouquet of flowers for today!’, so I kind of did, but I ran to a slight problem.” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “Apparently the flowers sold outside the campus didn’t have specifically designed bouquets, and I had to find one at a further area in town. And even then in those flower shops, I still had to make small adjustments myself, because nothing ever seemed to be good enough for you. I wanted them to be as beautiful as you, Minnie, and so I kind of lost track of time.”

Jimin remained silent, his heart beating undeniably quicker.

“By the time I finally settled on a bouquet, which by the way I have mad respect for florists now, I mean how do they easily design bouquets like that when I couldn’t do it right all by myself. Anyways, when I finally got your flowers, I realized the show would be starting in ten minutes and I was a good twenty minutes away from the campus. So I rushed back, but I was late as you can see, but I was there. And by the way, here, I hope you like them.”

Namjoon then removed his left hand from his back to reveal the most gorgeous set of flowers he had ever seen in his life.

True to his words, they matched his hair. They matched the colours of the sunset he always undoubtedly admired. Indeed, they looked as if someone had given the flowers much thought on. It wasn’t something one could buy outside the dance building if they wanted to. The flowers were well thought-of, as if someone had truly taken the time to go through every colour option, and every floral match just to arrive at this glorious arrangement.

Orange tulips, peachy pink roses, yellow alstroemerias.

Jimin took the bouquet from Namjoon’s hand, and if Jimin’s hands shook, Namjoon was kind enough not to say a word. Jimin sniffed the flowers, and despite its varied type, the scent was oddly pleasing, and Jimin could not help but look at Namjoon with tears threatening to escape his eyes once again.

“These are for me?” Jimin muttered dumbly.

Namjoon had only chuckled with a fond roll of his eyes, “Of course Jiminie, only for you.”

Only for you.

Namjoon had run across town to get Jimin flowers that Jimin was so inspired from that he coloured his hair in the same shades. Namjoon was about twenty minutes late to his recital, because he had run off from arranging the most beautiful set of flowers Jimin had ever received in his life. Namjoon went through the trouble and frustration of arranging flowers, with his perfectionist mind, just so that he could make a bouquet that would be beautiful enough for someone as beautiful as Jimin.

Only for me.

Jimin could barely contain himself as he leapt to Namjoon’s arms, and thankfully Namjoon was quick minded enough to grab Jimin in his arms. Jimin wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s neck, with his right hand still clutching the flowers, as he buried his face in Namjoon’s neck. In turn Namjoon rubbed Jimin’s back, as he could feel his neck get slightly wet from the tears that escaped Jimin’s eyes.

“Oh Namjoon,” Jimin could barely form the right words, “Hyung, I-“

“Shh,” Namjoon coaxed the younger to calm down, “Does this mean I’m forgiven?”

Jimin pulled back with the brightest smile a teary eyed Jimin could make, he laughed slightly and looked at Namjoon so fondly.

“You don’t even have to ask hyung, you were here, and you got me the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen in my life. You even ran across town for this, and I love them so much. I didn’t even think you would even remember the flowers that I really liked. You’re absolutely forgiven, hyung, and I’m so sorry for being so dramatic too.” The younger had laughed lightly as he hurriedly hugged the taller dimpled boy once again.

“You’re not being dramatic Minnie, you had every right to be upset if I didn’t fulfil my job description.” Namjoon, whispered softly, “But please know that next time, before you run out of the building, to please at least check your phone.”

Jimin once again pulled back, “How did you even know where to find me hyung?”

“Because I know you, Minnie. I know you when you’re sad and upset. I saw how troubled you are while dancing Jimin, I mean you gave your best, but I saw that you barely smiled throughout your whole dance. I figured that you still didn’t think I was there inside, seeing as my texts have also been left unread.” Namjoon stepped a little closer to Jimin as he smiled with his dimples in display, “I also figured that since you were so upset, you would have immediately run out of the building, without waiting for the show to finish. Thankfully I know this exit, and I knew I would catch you here.”

There was no one outside tonight, but Jimin felt like he wanted to shout into the world how much he loved the boy who gave him a sunset bouquet. He almost went back inside the dance building, just so he could exclaim to everyone how deeply in love he was with his tall, too good to be true, roommate.

No one had ever made Jimin feel so special. No one had ever gone through the trouble of running across town, and arranging flowers themselves just so they could give them to someone like him. No one had ever treated Jimin as delightfully as Namjoon did.

Tonight, he might not have seen Namjoon in his seat as he performed. But Jimin was sure that Namjoon found his seat in Jimin’s heart, with no other person in that venue but him, and Jimin dancing only for his sole audience.

I dance for you, Namjoon.

They would go home that night, with Namjoon promising to take Jimin out as an apology, even with the added promise of an ice cream or two. The night was so simple, so normal, and yet so special.

Jimin would go home with a smile that would last until the next morning. The flowers would stay in their apartment for a good two weeks before they wilted away. Jimin did take good care of them, after all.

Jimin would go home even a little more in love than he was last night. And he would probably be more in love the next morning than he did the previous night.

Jimin figured that night that he sincerely did love dance.  

But maybe just maybe, Jimin loved Namjoon more than he loved dance.

Dance may be Jimin’s first love, but Jimin was sure that Namjoon would be his last.

Every step, every turn, and every sway, was choreographed so that his heart would fall even deeper for Namjoon, and only Namjoon.

Chapter Text

There was only so much the omega could handle.

It was not even the fact that he was being ignored or whatever – it was the fact that his pack made him feel as if he no longer belonged. It started with missing a step or two with the choreography, then escalated to not being able to send the file of their song before the deadline. Sure, he may have misplaced his dongsaeng’s headphones when they flew to another country, but was it truly enough for his pack to make him feel as if he was the worst omega to ever exist in the planet?

Namjoon may have been the leader of his group, but it doesn’t mean that his omega could handle being treated this way. Yes, he had to be strong, but only he could take so much before he crumbled.

And right now he did, he was crumbling right outside his best friend’s door.

“Jihyo yah!” Namjoon whimpered as he knocked his fist from the outside of the door. “I need your help, please.”

The omega inside the apartment was lounging with her mate in their living room, when their time together was interrupted by the sound of a crying omega and the scent of her distressed best friend.

“Namjoon oppa?” Jihyo quickly looked at her mate’s eyes, who were already staring right back at her wide eyed. Daniel was quick to get into action, pulling Jihyo with him, as they both ran to the door.

When Jihyo opened the door, the view broke her heart.

There stood the strongest person she knew, crumbling at his knees. And oh god, the scent – the scent was enough to make Jihyo herself sad. She leaned back against her mate, unable to stand her ground with how hard Namjoon’s sadness had hit her, and thankfully, Daniel was there to support her.

“Joonie oppa, what happened?” Jihyo quickly pulled the taller omega inside her mate’s apartment, with Daniel closing the door behind them. “Who hurt you, oppa? Tell me right now!”

Namjoon whimpered when he heard Jihyo’s raising voice, unable to stand another screaming session as he just got out of one. It seemed like it was all he was ever good for his pack – someone to scream at, someone to belittle.

Daniel quickly sensed the fear when his mate had raised her voice on the already distressed omega. Looking at his mate’s eyes, he silently conveyed the message to keep calm as he turned to the omega sobbing in the middle of his living room. “Namjoon hyung, please calm down, tell us what happened.”

Daniel was also quick to release calming pheromones to help soothe the omega. Jihyo, sensing what her mate was doing, wrapped her best friend in her arms and tried to release her own calming scent to try and appease her fellow leader.

Namjoon gladly welcomed the calming scents of his two friends, thankful that they weren’t forcing him to speak. He just needed to calm down, and he just need time and space, and he was grateful that his friends were being considerate.

When Namjoon was finally calm enough after what seemed like fifteen minutes, he turned to his fellow omega and said, “Jihyo, I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

Jihyo let out a soft gasp as she did not only make sense of what Namjoon said, but also of how much sadness was in the taller omega’s voice. Namjoon wasn’t even angry anymore – he was downright tired, like he had just given up.

“Oppa,” Jihyo mumbled softly, “Did they hurt you again?”

Being Namjoon’s best friend, Jihyo had known what was happening to her fellow leader and omega. Namjoon had confided in her more than a month ago of how his pack had started to become hostile to him. At first, Jihyo was so angry that she wanted to confront the BTS pack as soon as she can, but Namjoon insisted that it was his mistake. But the stories Namjoon would tell her suddenly got worse, to the point where Namjoon was even forbidden from sleeping in their nest. And Jihyo knows, as a fellow omega, that being denied the privilege of sleeping in the pack’s home was deeply saddening and so very painful.

Jihyo had already geared up three days ago to knock on the apartment house of BTS, considering that they lived in the same area as where her mate’s apartment was located. But of course, her best friend stopped her before she even reached their lobby – begging Jihyo to not get involved, and that he could handle this himself. And what was Jihyo going to do against her sad and hurt best friend? So she listened – for now.

But seeing how the omega had finally run to her and her mate’s apartment at the dead hour of the night told Jihyo that this was serious and was something that no one could stop her from interfering with. Jihyo’s eyes were hardening, and Daniel was quick to notice this.

“Jihyo, calm down. Our priority is Namjoon, baby.” Daniel reminded his mate, who was seemingly getting ready to murder someone – or preferably six boys.

Jihyo averted her eyes from her mate, hating that he was right and turned her attention to the sobbing omega. “Tell me what happened, Joonie oppa.  And tell me everything.”

Namjoon nodded as he began to recount the story of how the night’s events had turned. “It started when I came home tonight, I was really tired and I really wanted to rest. The pack wasn’t home yet, I think they all went out tonight. I was in the studio for the past two days trying to finish the songs for our next album, and they didn’t even text me to ask if I was still alive. So I came home, and I was hungry and there was food in the table. I didn’t know they hadn’t eaten yet, Jihyo, I didn’t mean to eat it all. But it felt like I was just so hungry, and the food in the table was exactly what I wanted. So I ate, and when I was done, I took a quick shower. I passed by our nest, and Jihyo, I just wanted to feel it again. I just wanted to be inside our nest again, I don’t know why. I just needed it. So I allowed myself to lay down there, but I unknowingly fell asleep.”

Namjoon gulped as the tears in his eyes began to leak once again. Recounting the story for the tall omega was just so painful that he needed a few seconds to cry before he could continue his words.

“So I fell asleep, and they came home. They were hungry as well it seems, but I ate most of the food. Then they were calling for me, only for them to find me in the nest – the same nest I wasn’t allowed to be in until I finished all the songs for our next album. They woke me harshly and they suddenly called me all these hurtful things. They called me selfish, they asked me what kind of leader am I if I couldn’t even think about my members and how hungry they could have been. Then when I proceeded to ask them if there was something I could cook for them, they downright laughed at my face asking me if there was actually something that I could cook. They told me I was useless, and they told me that I was selfish. Then I just ran out, and ran here to you and Daniel knowing that you are probably here and this was the closest place I could run to. I’m sorry, by the way, if I ruined any of your plans. I just don’t know what to do – I’m sorry if I’m so selfish and useless. I’m sorry, Jihyo yah, I’m sorry Daniel. I didn’t mean to be a burden.”

Seeing the omega go into another fit, Jihyo quickly wrapped her arms around the tall boy and Daniel was again quick to release calming pheromones. The two mates simply soothed the omega, knowing that it was still not the right time to speak – they first knew that they had to calm the omega down before they took the next step.

Jihyo, sensing that her best friend had somehow calmed down, kissed the taller omega’s forehead as his face was still buried in her neck, “Namjoon oppa, you did the right thing to come here. I told you, didn’t I? That if there was anything you needed, that you can come here. And even if I wasn’t here, Daniel would let you in. My mate knows how important you are to me, and he will never send you out. And no, you did not ruin anything, and no you are not a burden. Most importantly, you are not useless and selfish, oppa. If they had an issue with you, the proper way to deal with it was to talk to you – not insult you and even forbid you from sleeping in the pack’s nest. They’re the ones in the wrong, and you did the right thing by leaving them.”

Namjoon felt his heart lighten even just for an inch, knowing that he was safe here with his best friend and mate. He thanked the lucky stars that Jihyo was there for him, and even to an extent, he was thankful that Jihyo had a mate as amazing as Daniel too.

“I just don’t know what to do, Jihyo. Where do I go? I don’t want to go back. I don’t think I can go back. And I’m not in the right headspace to go home to Ilsan. I don’t know Jihyo. What do I do?” Namjoon sobbed further thinking about what was going to happen to him that night.

Daniel was quick to remedy the distressed omega, “Namjoon hyung, I think it is best for you to stay here tonight. I don’t mind, I have a spare bedroom. However, hyung, I need to ask you this, and I hope you won’t be offended.”

Jihyo quickly caught her mate’s eyes, silently asking what Daniel wanted to ask. Namjoon also detached his face from his best friend’s neck to look at the only alpha in the place, who was looking at him apologetically. “Babe,” Jihyo asked Daniel with her eyes squinting at her mate, “What is it? Would you have a problem with Joonie oppa staying here?”

Daniel’s eyes widened, quick to reassure the two omegas that Namjoon staying there wasn’t a problem. “No, god no, that’s not the problem. I just – Namjoon hyung,” Daniel took a gulp of air before he asked the omega, “Hyung, when is your next heat?”

Both the omegas stood in surprise at the alpha’s question. Jihyo straightened with confusion while Namjoon’s eyes widened with realization.

“Babe,” Jihyo directed her attention to her mate, “Why would you ask that?”

The alpha looked down at his lap for a moment before he took a good look at the two omegas, “I didn’t mean to ask such a personal question, it’s just that, I kind of smell something in Namjoon hyung’s scent. I’m not sure though. I’m just worried that if he were to experience his heat here – which I am totally okay with – you know neither of us, Jihyo, would be able to help him because we are mated. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to press.”

But Namjoon still sat in surprise, “Oh my god. My heat is scheduled anytime this week, and I didn’t even remember.”

The younger omega’s eyes widened. This was a whole new problem in itself. Jihyo couldn’t help Namjoon in his heat, and neither could Daniel for they were mates and if any mated person were to spend a heat or rut with someone who isn’t their mate – let’s just say that it was physically painful.

“Oh my god, my heat,” Namjoon’s scent once again spiked with distress, “I have no one to spend my heat with. Oh my god, Jihyo, what do I do?”

Seeing that the taller omega was about to enter another phase of panic, Jihyo quickly tried her best to soothe her best friend by having Namjoon pressed into her neck, in hopes that scenting her could give the taller omega some sort of grip.

“Now, now, oppa,” Jihyo said gently, “I can find you another alpha. I can get Jackson for you, would that be okay? I know he’s your good friend and I know Jackson would not mind spending your heat with you, but only if it’s okay with you oppa?”

Namjoon thought about it. He trusted Jackson, and while his inner omega wanted to spend his heat with the alphas in his pack, the Namjoon part of his heart was quick to deny it. “I just don’t want to see my pack members anytime soon, more so, I don’t want to spend my heat with them. I’m scared of them, Jihyo. But please, let me think of asking Jackson for help for now. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

Jihyo and Daniel nodded eagerly, understanding of the omega’s decision. “Whatever you want hyung, but for now, I want you to go inside our guest room. Jihyo and I will be going to your pack house to get you your clothes and stuff, enough to last you until your next heat.”

Namjoon was just too weak and too tired to stop the two, so he just nodded. But he still had a request for Jihyo, “I know all you want to do is hurt them, Jihyo, but please for me, don’t. I still love them even though they hurt me this much. Daniel, please stop her before she ruins my members’ face. Just grab my stuff and go.”

Jihyo’s eyes burned with anger at the thought of facing her oppa’s pack, “I can’t promise not hurting them oppa. But I promise that if I were to hurt them, I won’t leave a mark.”

And that was how Jihyo and Daniel found themselves in the BTS pack’s apartment almost an hour later.

Daniel held his mate’s hand as her right hand banged against the door. Daniel did not know if Jihyo was aware of what time in the night it was, but Jihyo was banging the door as if it wasn’t already around 1 in the morning.

When the door of the apartment suddenly opened up, Taehyung directly came into contact with the two mates’ view. Taehyung looked like he was awoken from a nap, and he even had the guts to look annoyed at the disturbance. “Jihyo-ssi, Daniel-ssi? What are you guys doing here at 1 in the morning?”

Daniel liked to believe that he knew his mate like the back of his hand, but nothing could have prepared him from his mate extending her arm and slapping the barely awake alpha in her line of sight.

“What the fuck, Jihyo?” Taehyung screamed angrily.

“No,” Jihyo answered back equally as loud as the alpha, “What the fuck, Taehyung?”

The commotion was loud enough for the other pack members to come rushing out their room to the entrance of their apartment. Once again, before Daniel could stop his mate, Jihyo’s hand flew and slapped the closest alpha in her sight – which just happens to be Yoongi.

“What the hell, Jihyo? What are you doing here?” Yoongi asked as he cradled his own face from being slapped by the omega. “And what the fuck was that for?”

“No Yoongi-ssi, I should be asking you that question,” Jihyo spit with so much venom in her voice, “What the fuck are your attitudes towards Joonie oppa for?”

Yoongi’s eyes widened when he heard the name of their pack omega who ran out earlier today, crying with how harsh they had treated him. “What does this have to do with Namjoon ah?”

“What does this have to do with Joonie oppa?” Jihyo let out an incredulous laugh. The omega eyed every single alpha and beta in the BTS pack, making sure that she had their full attention, and she looked at them with so much hatred that even Daniel was terrified of his own mate. “Care to tell me why the fuck Joonie oppa ran into my mate’s apartment at a late hour of night crying because his pack made him feel like some worthless shit?”

All the alphas and betas had managed to look a little guilty. They knew they were harsh, they knew they haven’t been treating their omega right not just today but for the past few weeks. But they were all just so tired, everything they were individually doing was creating a toll on them personally, and before they knew it, they were projecting their anger on their pack omega.

“Is hyung with you? Is that where he went?” Jimin, one of the two betas in the pack along with Hoseok, had asked Jihyo with a soft voice. If Jihyo recalled correctly, Jimin had done nothing towards his oppa, but the fact alone that he did nothing while his pack had hurt their omega, was enough to send Jihyo into another episode of fury.

“Why the fuck would I tell you, Jimin ah? Why the fuck would you care?” Jihyo spit with so much hatred, “You don’t care about your selfish and useless omega right? So why the fuck would I have to tell you anything about them?”

Jimin’s eyes lowered at that, as his bottom lip quivered in shame and sadness. Jimin was also just so tired for the past few weeks. But it still didn’t allow him a pass with how he allowed his pack to treat their omega.

At the pack’s silence and guilty looks, Jihyo turned to her mate. “Babe, I want you to go get all the stuff Namjoon oppa would need. I think it’s best if another male would be the one to pack his stuff. His room is the third door once you turn left from the staircase. Go grab his stuff, I want to talk to his pack.”

Daniel knew that arguing with his mate was useless. He didn’t want to leave Jihyo alone, not because he thought that Jihyo couldn’t handle herself. He knew well enough that Jihyo was strong, and that she could take down these alphas if they dare hurt her. He was honestly afraid of his mate doing irreparable damage. He was afraid that Jihyo would be the one to hurt these pathetic excuses of men Namjoon calls his pack.

But Daniel merely kissed Jihyo’s forehead mumbling a ‘be nice’ to his mate, as he ran up the stairs, ignoring the bewildered looks from the rest of the pack.

“Why do you need Namjoon hyung’s things? What’s happening?” Jungkook, the pack’s youngest alpha, looked at Jihyo questioningly.

Jihyo merely smirked, her eyes burning with hatred as she said, “Well of course, Jungkook ah. What the fuck did you think? That Joonie oppa would still want to come back to this place? To the place wherein his own pack forbade him from entering their nest?”

Jungkook couldn’t even look at Jihyo as she said that. He was so embarrassed because the omega was right. They didn’t make his Namjoon hyung feel as if this place was his home.

“B-but this is his home,” Hoseok tried to reason to the omega, “He’s our pack member.”

With that, Jihyo let out a loud and sarcastic laugh, “Oh my god Hoseok-ssi! You are so funny!” Jihyo even pretended to wipe tears from the corner of her eyes. “Your pack member? With the fucking way you were treating him? Oh god, don’t make me laugh.”

“Jihyo please,” Seokjin, being the pack alpha, had looked close to tears in front of the omega, “Don’t take him away from us.”

“Oh Seokjin please,” Jihyo retorted in the same tone, “Give me one good fucking reason I wouldn’t take him away from all of you. Give me at least one good reason why I should bring oppa back to this place where you have done nothing but treat him like shit for the past month.”

Seokjin couldn’t answer the omega back. When Namjoon ran out of their apartment, he knew and understood that he and his pack were wrong. He resolved that they would all talk with their pack omega once he comes home tomorrow, but the pack alpha did not expect another omega to come barging into their house at the dead of the night, and claiming that their pack omega would not come home to them.

“You know what’s funny guys,” Jihyo said as she eyed every member, “You dare call Namjoon oppa all these hurtful things, when in reality, it was all of you that were useless and selfish. You seriously reprimanded him for eating dinner? Not even bothering to think about how he hasn’t eaten anything good enough for the past two days he was cooped in his studio trying to finish the songs that he needed to finish so that he could finally sleep in his pack’s nest? God do you see how fucking mean and selfish you all are?”

The betas’ eyes were leaking tears at his point. They were beginning to see how much they hurt their pack omega, but Jihyo still wasn’t done.

“And oh my god, he had to settle sleeping in the nest while you all weren’t there and yet you still got mad at that? And when he offered to cook for you, you just couldn’t talk to him like a normal person? You had to laugh in his face and make him feel worst than he already had?” Jihyo couldn’t help screaming at their faces. She was sure that her alpha mate upstairs could hear her, but she didn’t care. She wanted these men to know how hurt her best friend is, and she wants to hurt them as much too.

“Jihyo, we didn’t mean to, we were just tired as well. These past few weeks have been tiring for us, the pressure was just so much, we didn’t mean to.” The youngest alpha had the guts to cry in front of the omega, infuriating the omega even further.

“And what did you think oppa was? A punching bag for all of you to channel all your anger to? If you were fucking tired Jungkook ah, don’t you think oppa was equally as tired as you?” Jihyo scoffed at the crying alpha’s face. “And oh my god, aren’t you and your pack all so proud of selling out worldwide stadiums? So what if he lost your headphones the other week? Couldn’t you just buy another one? Hell even I would buy that for you if you so badly needed it! Or is your alpha pride really just that high that you had to go weeks without apologizing for your outburst and all the hurtful things you said? What are you Jungkook, fucking 12? Can’t go a day without his headphones that you had to crush someone’s heart just to satisfy your alpha anger?”

The youngest alpha looked so ashamed as his actions came crashing down on him. He deserved the embarrassment. Jihyo was knocking some sense to him and he has never felt more ashamed of his wrongdoings.

“And you Yoongi-ssi,” The omega directed her anger towards the shortest alpha, “If you were so adamant in having those songs finished, why didn’t you fucking do it yourself? Oh that’s right, you can’t! You need Namjoon oppa’s help to create good lyrics. But God aren’t you the biggest asshole asking someone for help?”

“And you Hoseok-ssi,” Jihyo faced the crying beta, “Out of all the times Namjoon oppa was patient with you in teaching you how to rap, couldn’t you return that same patience in teaching him how to dance well? For god’s sake, he needed you to support him, not degrade him!”

“Even you Taehyung ah,” Jihyo had a look betrayal in her face, “I thought you loved your hyung but did you seriously scream at him over creating a rip in your jacket? Couldn’t you just buy another one? You are just like Jungkook, you’re still a fucking kid – completely immature. Neither of you deserve your titles as alphas.”

“And you Seokjin-ssi,” Jihyo looked at the teary pack alpha from head to toe, “You dare call yourself a pack alpha? I do not wish to compare, but Jeongyeon unnie, our pack alpha, would never ever let any of our omegas be treated that way. She would always tell us that it is the responsibility of the pack alpha to ensure that his or her members are happy and taken care of? And literally what have you done? And now tell me, who exactly is the useless and pathetic member in this scenario?”

The entire pack merely whimpered at the omega’s accusation. She was right of course, they may hate that she was right, but she was still right. They have hurt their pack omega so much, and now he was about to slip away from their fingers.

“Please Jihyo,” Seokjin dared to look at the omega’s eyes, holding over his last strip of dignity, “Let us see Namjoon. We have to say sorry. We have to let him know that we did not mean any of what we said.”

Jihyo just shook her head, looking at Namjoon’s sorry excuse for a pack. “It’s too late for that now, Seokjin-ssi. Did you know that he doesn’t even want to see you? Did you know that he is terrified of you?” Did you know that...” Jihyo stopped herself before she became fully agitated.

Seokjin looked at her questioningly, scared of what the omega might say. “What is it Jihyo?”

Jihyo just looked at them frustratingly before she took a deep breath and eyed every member that were all in tears, “Did you know that Namjoon oppa didn’t even want to spend his upcoming heat with you?”

With that, the sobs stopped. Everyone froze and was dead silent. Jihyo saw Yoongi look at the calendar near their entrance and he froze once he realized what the next days meant.

“Oh my god,” Yoongi paled as white as sugar, “His – his heat, it’s this week.”

At that, the members were sent into a new episode of panic. They were beyond distraught, at the thought that their pack omega didn’t want to even want to spend his most vulnerable moment with his own pack.

“Jihyo,” Seokjin turned to her in panic and the omega was so surprised when the pack alpha went down on his knees in front of the young omega, “I am begging you. Please take us to him.”

“Please, Jihyo-ssi,” Taehyung followed his pack alpha and also got down on his knees, “Please let us see our omega, we beg you. He’ll need us for his heat.”

All the members followed suit at this point, they themselves were on their knees begging for the female omega to lead them to their pack omega. But Jihyo’s heart was hardened, he wanted to put these boys in the same amount of pain they had placed his Namjoon oppa with.

So Jihyo merely smirked at their pathetic attempts of begging and said, “Oh but that’s where you’re wrong Taehyung-ssi.”

“What do you mean Jihyo?” Hoseok asked from the ground by Jihyo’s right side. “He can’t go through his heat alone – that could kill him.”

“Oh dear, who told you that Joonie oppa was going through his heat alone?” Jihyo’s smirk widened at the sight of the confused members. “Oppa is too precious to spend his heat alone. He will be having another alpha to take care of him, one who isn’t from this pathetic excuse of a pack.”

If Jihyo thought the boys were distraught earlier, then they were downright devastated now. Seokjin suddenly got up, looking feral that it almost scared the only omega in the house if she weren’t already enjoying this.

“THAT CANNOT HAPPEN!” Seokjin, but screamed. “HE IS OUR OMEGA, HE IS MY OMEGA.”

Yoongi also got up, eyeing Jihyo with a look of betrayal. “JIHYO YOU CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN. HE IS OURS! IT IS OUR DUTY TO CARE FOR HIM ON HIS HEAT. YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO US, WE’RE HIS ALPHAS!”

Jihyo just laughed at the pack’s anger, maximizing the agitation and pain the alphas felt. “But the thing is, Yoongi-ssi, Seokjin-ssi, how fucking dare you call yourselves his alpha? You are nothing but a pathetic excuse of one to him? You didn’t even realize it was already his heat if I hadn’t blatantly pointed that out to you.”

Jihyo understood how painful it is for the pack members if one of their omegas did not spend their heat with them. Spending the heat with the pack meant you trusted your pack to care for you in your most vulnerable moments. And until you found your mate, it is your pack’s privilege to take care of the omega’s health and body in their hardest times.

“Jihyo yah,” Jungkook tried to talk to his friend, “Jihyo please, we know we are wrong and we are ready to get on our knees to apologize to hyung. But please, you cannot let him spend his heat with another alpha. He is ours, he is our omega, and ours only.”

But Jihyo merely shrugged one of her shoulders at the other member she once considered her friend, “The sad thing here Jungkookie, is the fact that it wasn’t even my decision. Sure I suggested it to him, but he himself said that he doesn’t even want any of you in his line of sight in the next few days, much more spend his heat with all of you.”

“The fact that you reprimanded him for eating tonight’s dinner when he was merely craving since his heat is coming up, and that his body was storing energy for his upcoming heat. When he slept on your nest tonight, his inner omega was just begging to feel at home once again, but look at what you all have done.” Jihyo made them realize what their actions meant for the broken omega. She wanted them to see that the damage they have done had truly scarred her oppa. “Now tell me, how can his inner omega trust you all to take care of him during his heat? He doesn’t need you. He needs someone who will treat him right.”

At this point, all the pack members were back on their feet, the realization that their only omega neither wanted them nor needed them anymore slowly sinking in to their hearts and minds.

“But,” Jimin tried to reason with so much tears in his eyes, “He is ours.”

Footsteps from the staircase suddenly echoed throughout the apartment, signalling to Jihyo that her mate was finally done packing her oppa’s bag. But before Daniel could come down the stairs, Jihyo had gazed upon all the members and said, “The moment you called him useless and selfish, you already lost the privilege of calling him yours.”

Daniel came down the staircase with a duffel bag hung over his shoulder. The alpha male was quick to smell the agitation in the air, prompting him to take his stance beside his mate, ready to defend his omega if any of the members decided to attack them.

“Right now,” Jihyo spoke confidently, every inch of a leader that she was known for, “My sole priority is Namjoon oppa, and I will follow what he says. Not that I owe any of you, but yes he is staying with me and Daniel. If Namjoon oppa doesn’t want to see you in the next few days, then so be it. If Namjoon oppa doesn’t want you with him in his heat and wishes for another alpha, then I will personally find him one. If Namjoon oppa wishes to leave your pack, then I will support him.”

At that, the pack whimpered thinking of that horrendous possibility. No, they couldn’t lose their omega – that would break them.

“Whatever Namjoon oppa wants, I will do it. And if he wants you to stay the hell away from him, then I will personally make sure that all of you would not even be in the same building as him.” Jihyo grabbed her mate’s hand as they inched towards the door.

“Right now, Namjoon oppa doesn’t want to see you nor be with you, and you will take this as your punishment for hurting your precious omega. I want you all to go to bed tonight thinking about the fact that your most beautiful omega would be allowing another alpha to kiss him, fuck him, and love him during his heat – someone who isn’t you.”

The alphas couldn’t help but growl at that scenario. They couldn’t help themselves. Their jealousy and possessiveness was soaring at the thought of another alpha loving their omega when it was only supposed to be them.

“Jihyo at least give us the chance to apologize,” Jimin, being the only sane one left, “We need him. We are nothing without him. We don’t even care about whom he spends his heat with. We just don’t want to lose him.”

Jihyo tugged on her mate’s hand, asking him if he got everything they needed and Daniel responded with a nod. One last time, Jihyo turned to look at the pack, “You all should have thought about that before breaking the heart of the only omega that had done nothing but love, trust, and care for you all.”

Jihyo didn’t let them speak, she pulled Daniel with her as they left the apartment filled with distraught alphas and betas. Hand in hand, they both walked away from that pack’s house, and once they were far away, Daniel stopped his mate from walking.

“You know,” Daniel pulled his mate’s face to look him in the eye, “Namjoon did say not to hurt them.”

Jihyo all but scoffed, “They deserved more than a slap in the face.”

“I wasn’t talking about that baby,” Daniel wrapped his arms around his mate, “You kind of forget just how loud your voice could be, darling, I heard you all the way upstairs. I heard the things you said to them.”

“And what baby,” Jihyo pouted angrily at her mate, “Did they not deserve it? I wanted to hurt them so bad,”

“No Hyo, as an alpha, they were doing a terrible job of caring for their pack omega. They deserve to get hurt.” Daniel playfully poked his mate’s pout, “I just want you to know that I probably would never want to be on your bad side now.”

Jihyo may have allowed a small laugh past her lips at that, “Just treat me right, alpha. Don’t ever hurt me like that, or else I will hurt you ten times more.”

Daniel kissed his omega’s beautiful lips, “I promise to only love you, Jihyo yah. If I ever do hurt you like that, you have my full permission to slap in the face as hard as you slapped Taehyung-ssi and Yoongi-ssi.”

Jihyo suddenly looked at her alpha with loving eyes, thankful for the stars that her mate has never done anything to put her in that much pain, “Just don’t give me a reason to, Daniel. Or else, eight other girls would come to your ass.”

Daniel chuckled, “Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.”

And with that, the two mates went back home where an omega who cried himself to sleep was waiting for their return. Tomorrow, they knew that Namjoon’s pack would do everything in their power to get their omega back.

And Jihyo would hell like to see them try.

 - END OF PART ONE -

Chapter Text

Kim Seokjin’s POV

Today is the day that I will finally meet him again. It’s been ten years since I last saw the beautiful face of Kim Namjoon. I’ve been preparing for this day ever since he left me.

I remember back to that fateful day – the day I lost him.

FLASHBACK

I woke up from the best sleep I ever had. Since Namjoon and I were neighbours, it was easy for me and him to sneak around and last night was no exception. He spent the night in my room but last night was beyond special for he finally confessed his love for me.

I told him I loved him a month ago but I had patiently waited for him to reciprocate my feelings. He didn’t say it back until last night when he made me the happiest man in the world. I was so happy that he finally admitted to me that he loved me that the next morning when I woke up, my smile could barely be removed.

It was a Sunday afternoon and since Namjoon and I were neighbours, his parents were fond of me. They didn’t exactly know that Namjoon and I we’re fooling around but they knew we were close friends. So they invited me every Sunday to have lunch with them since my parents rarely come home.

I was jogging my way to their house with the biggest smile ever. I knocked on their door and Mrs. Kim – Namjoon’s mother – opened for me. Her smile was quite forced and her eyes didn’t have the normal twinkle to them and that’s when I knew that something was wrong.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Kim! Can I join you for lunch?” I asked him trying not to be affected by her demeanour. I wanted to see Namjoon today so we could talk about telling his parents and making us official.

“You mean you still want to have lunch with us?” She looked at me confusingly and I mirrored her expression. Why wouldn’t I want to have lunch with them? I have lunch with them every week, what makes today different?

“What do you mean Mrs. Kim? Why would you think that I wouldn’t want to join you?” I was getting more confused and nervous by the minute. My heartbeat grew quicker. Something was definitely not right.

Mrs. Kim’s eyes widened when she realized that I have been missing out on something. Her eyes were filled with an emotion that I never wanted anyone to show me – pity.

“Is there something wrong Mrs. Kim? Is there something that I should know?” I asked getting more and more nervous. I just want to see Namjoon so I could calm down.

“Oh my goodness! He didn’t tell you?” Mrs. Kim looked at me with sadness. I was like her second child and I had a feeling that this was some news that I would not take lightly.

“Tell me what? Could you please tell me what’s going on? And where’s Namjoon by the way? May I see him?” I just want to stop beating around the bush. I need to see him so I know he’s here.

“Seokjin, he left. Namjoon’s gone. He left this morning and he told me that he would tell you yesterday. I didn’t know that you didn’t know.” He said as he reached out for my shoulder but I could barely feel him touch.

I felt my world crashing. Namjoon’s gone. He left me and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Why would he tell me he loved me then leave me? Namjoon is not that cruel. He wouldn’t do that to me.

This isn’t happening. The boy I love didn’t just leave me after telling me he loves me without even a proper goodbye. I need him here by my side. He can’t just go.

“What do you mean he’s gone? Where did he go?” I questioned him frantically. I was trying to find out if I can still catch him and may be convince him of staying.

“My dear, he left early in the morning and he didn’t want you to know where he was going. I’m sorry dear but I have to respect his wishes.” He said as he rubbed my back.

It can’t be! Why won’t he tell me where he wanted to go? Why did he just leave me? I never got to say goodbye. All I get from him is a stupid damn envelope that he told me to open today anytime from ten in the morning onwards.

That’s it. The envelope. It must contain a letter.

I immediately leave Mrs. Kim’s grasp as I run back to my house while I still hear her call for my name. Namjoon left me a letter but he told me to open it today. Is the letter his way of saying goodbye?

Finally I reached the desk in my room and I grabbed the letter. I tore the edge immediately and began opening it to reveal its content. It was the handwriting of Namjoon – his beautiful and sophisticated handwriting that I would recognize anywhere I went.

Dear Seokjin hyung, if you are reading this then that means I’m gone.

No Namjoon. Don’t do this to me please. Don’t leave me. You can’t do this to me, please don’t.

            I sat down on my bed as I continue reading through the letter.

            I opted not to tell you about me leaving. I knew you Seokjin hyung. You would convince me to stay or you would come with me – I couldn’t let that happen. You would do everything for us not to be separated but I had choices to make and you had responsibilities to fulfil and I wouldn’t allow us to get in between those.

            The night I gave you this letter is the night I told I love you and I mean that with every fibre in my body. I do love you Seokjin hyung, and that is why I’m doing this. I noticed that I am now becoming a barrier between you and your responsibilities and I wouldn’t allow that.

            A month ago, a few days after you told me you loved me – the happiest day of my life – you told me that now you were of the right age, your father is now requesting for you to learn how to run your company. But in order for that to happen, you had to go to New York and study, and leave me here in Seoul. You didn’t want that but you knew you had to.

            I knew I had to let you go but how could I? How could I simply let go of the man I love? It was so tough but I found a way. Two weeks ago, one of the universities I have applied to for college told me that I was accepted to their school and that they requested my presence as soon as possible. I’m not going to tell you which one. Only my parents know about this and I specifically told them not to tell you because I know that you would try to find and follow me.

            Here it is then Seokjin hyung. This was an opportunity I have waited for my entire life. Then and there, I knew that I had to accept but it came with a price – and that price was you.

            I know I’m cruel for telling you that I love you but leaving the very next day. But this is the choice I made. But please know that I didn’t lie about what I said that night. I love you and I will love you for a very long time. Our time was precious and will forever be in my heart. You are the best man any boy could ever wish for. You are the best thing that has happened to me but we need to make choices in life, Seokjin hyung, and this was is my choice.

            I’m leaving you so I could pursue my studies and so you can now be the heir to your father’s company. I left because I knew you wouldn’t leave me. Seokjin hyung, you are turning twenty two years old and I am only eighteen. We are both so young for what we have and right now, our relationship shouldn’t be our priority.

            My priority is my education and your priority should be your company. I’m so sorry Seokjin hyung, if I am hurting you right now but if I was faced in this same situation, I will still make the same choice. It would make me happy if you fulfilled your role as your company’s heir.

            Do not wait for me Seokjin hyung. I do not know if I’m going to come back. I want you to be happy again even if it isn’t because of me. I will always love you and you will always hold a special place in my heart but for now, we must learn to let go for the best of the both of us. I know that in your eyes I might be the cruelest person ever, but you do not know how painful this is for me too. Writing this and seeing you for the very last time had caused me nothing but immense pain.

            I almost wanted to stay and fight for what we have.

            But then I remember why I’m even leaving and that is because of our responsibilities – responsibilities we could not fulfil if we are together.

            This is my goodbye Seokjin hyung. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you a proper one. I’m sorry I’m a coward but I know that when I tell you goodbye in person, I would be convinced to stay. You are my weakness after all.

            Goodbye my love and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me one day. It might not be today but hopefully someday. You can tear this letter into pieces or burn it, it is up to you if it makes you forget about me but at least I was able to tell you what I feel.

            I really am sorry Jinnie hyung. I’m sorry for lying to you. I only did it because I love you so much. Keep safe at all times. I hope that when I see you one day, I would see you happy again. I love you my dear and I hope you forgive me.

            Love, Joonie.

            My tears continued to drop on the paper. I immediately threw it away from me. I didn’t want it to get ruined but my tears wouldn’t stop. How could he just leave me like that?

            I threw a fit and I threw away all the items on top of my desk knowing that I could replace them easily, but my heart was not something that can easily be mended with money.

            I can’t believe he just left. I thought that when he told me he loved me last night, it was the start of something new between the two of us. I guess it was really the start but not what I had expected.

            I know him education is important but I would follow him anywhere he went. I couldn’t care less about my father’s company. It’s not going to make me happy. It’s him!

            He doesn’t have a right to make this decision for me. It’s my choice if I didn’t want to be the heir of my father’s company. This is my choice.

            It would make me happy if you fulfilled your role as your company’s heir.

Is this what he really wanted – for me to go and be the damn CEO of my father’s billion dollar company? Fine, if it is going to make him happy then so be it.

But there is something he should know and that is no matter where he is in this world, he will always be mine. I will wait for him even if he told me not to and when that day comes, I’ll make sure he will never ever leave me ever again and he’ll regret leaving me in the first place.

I immediately scramble to my feet and search for my phone. It was apparently one of the things that I threw from the desk. Thank goodness it was still working. I called the one number that I never knew I would call anytime soon.

The person on the other end of the line answered on the third ring and he seems surprised that this time I’m the one calling first.

“Seokjin?” He exclaimed in a sharp but surprised tone.

“Dad, I’m ready.” I told him as anger and anguish filled my heart and my entire being.

“Good.” He said in a satisfied manner. I didn’t have to elaborate. He knew exactly what I meant.

This is what Namjoon wanted. He wanted to pursue him studies and for me to be the heir of my father’s company. He wanted this and I’m giving it to him. But he should understand that once I find him, he’ll regret ever making this foolish decision.

And I swear on the depths of hell that I will find him whether it takes me one, two, five, ten or fifty years. I will find him and I will bring him back to me.

And when that time comes, I’ll make sure he’ll never leave me again.

FLASHBACK OVER

Today is the day that promise is going to be fulfilled. I finally found him after ten long years. It seems like he went to England and studied in Oxford University. I am quite impressed. I always knew he was intelligent and now he finally fulfilled his dreams of becoming a doctor.

I know he said to not wait for him but he’s the man girl that I want – that I need. He can go to Antarctica for all I care and I would still find him and bring him back in my arms where he belongs.

He’ll regret leaving me.

I knew his intentions were only for the best but he must understand that anyone leaving me without a goodbye is the most foolish decision anyone could do especially when I’m in love with that person.

I wonder how he looks today. He was the most beautiful man of his kind when he was eighteen. He would get offers to be a model endless times but he always turned them down saying that the spotlight would only disturb him goal of being a doctor.

I remember his short black hair that I always ran my fingers through. I imagined his chestnut eyes that never failed to captivate mine. I remember his dimples that matched his perfectly aligned teeth.

I remember his slender body. He was taller that men but he was slim and he had curves in the right places. I would know for I held his body almost every night back when he was till with me in Seoul.

I wonder how he looks today. Is he still as beautiful as he was before or is he even more beautiful now? I doubt he could even get more gorgeous than he was back then. But I guess I don’t have to wonder for long.

Seohyun, my middle aged secretary who I acknowledge as my second mother knocked on my door with a warm smile. She knows I’ve been waiting for this day ever since I became the CEO five years ago.

“Seokjin-ah, Mr. Kim Namjoon-ssi has arrived.” He smiles knowingly.

I stood up in a confident manner even though my insides are shaking and my legs are going to fail me any moment now. I placed my hands inside my pockets as I smile back at Seohyun.

“Send him in.” I commanded.

She didn’t need to be told twice. She gave a slight nod and left my office and when the doors opened once again, the most beautiful man I have ever known came into view.

“Seokjin hyung.” His voice called for my name sounding a bit breathless and I loved the way it rolled from him lips. He sounded so seductive without even trying so hard. His eyes showed a million emotions, and I think I caught happiness in them

“Namjoon.”

.

.

.

Kim Namjoon’s POV

            I entered the building of the office of Kim Seokjin. My polished shoes led me to the receptionist who looks very intimidating. Her hair was in a bun and she had perfectly applied make up on her face.

“Good morning! I’m here to see Mr. Seokjin Kim.” I said. I’m a little excited and really nervous to see Seokjin hyung again but I’m not sure if I’m exactly ecstatic.

“May I have your name, sir?” She asked in a monotone as well with a befitting smile on her face. She seems intimidating but I’m used to dealing with a variety of people anyways. I am a doctor after all.

“Kim Namjoon.” I introduced myself with confidence. I should say my name with pride. My father owned a million dollar company and my mother was a well known fashion designer. Our company might not be as big as Seokjin’s but is was enough to make me a doctor in Oxford University.

The receptionist’s eyes widened. She seems surprised to see me. Finally he stood up and called the attention of a guard who was named Jihyun.

“Jihyun, escort him to Mr. Kim’s office. He has been waiting for him for a while.” The woman said eyeing me warily. It is as if she’s nervous for me.

Her statement made me gulp and even more nervous. Just exactly how long is Seokjin waiting for me. I seriously don’t know what awaits me and my meeting with Seokjin.

But I did not have time to wonder more. Jihyun escorted me to a private elevator that wasn’t accessible to everybody. He swiped a card and that was when the elevator opened and we entered.

But right before I left the receptionist, she was able to make a call to Seokjin’s secretary and she uttered the words, “He’s finally here.”

I don’t know what that meant and I’m terrified to find out.

Seokjin’s office turned out to be on the top floor and that’s thirty five floors high so it was a long elevator ride. It gave me enough time to think about the reason why I am here meeting with someone I have sworn to never see again.

My father is in a critical condition right now and we are all expecting and prepared for the worst. Right before he entered his current state, he was able to transfer the company’s rights to me.

But that was the problem. First, I didn’t know how to run a company and time wasn’t exactly siding with me. Second, I found out that our company was not doing well for the past two years so now it is in a crucial state.

Here’s when Seokjin comes in.

He has offered to help me for two reasons. One being that my father was a kind man to him and he wanted to help him. Two, he was interested in our company.

I don’t exactly know what he will propose to me but I am really hoping that he could help me; I need all the help I could get. I just got an e-mail from him a week ago, asking me to meet him in his office. I know he’s probably mad at me for leaving him ten years ago but looking at him now, I’m glad I did.

I mean look at him now. He’s running a billion dollar company. He’s on the top of the world. This wouldn’t have happened if I stayed with him.

We finally reach the top floor when the elevator doors opened, a woman who is in his mid forties stood there waiting patiently for my arrival.

“Good morning Mr. Kim Namjoon-ssi! Mr. Kim has been waiting for you.” She smiled at me warmly but I can’t help but hear a double meaning behind his words. Just exactly how long has Seokjin been waiting?

Ten years. My conscience whispered.

I greeted her with a ‘Good morning’ as well and she asked me to follow her. We stopped in front of two dark wooden doors. He told me to wait for a moment and she entered first. He informed Seokjin of my arrival.

Once she left the office and faced me again, she told me that I could now enter Seokjin hyung’s office.

This is it. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my heart beat. This is just Seokjin. What could possibly happen?

I finally had the courage to open the doors and enter. What I see totally surprises me. I knew that I left him ten years ago but I still kept tabs on him from all the magazines and tabloids.

And their photos did no justice to the real one.

“Seokjin hyung.” I breathed out. My button up shirt, while it had two buttons unbuttoned still felt suffocating. Seokjin was still so handsome and perfect. He’s even more handsome than what he looked like ten years ago.

He’s perfectly sculpted jaw line was sure to make any man or woman swoon. His chestnut eyes were still as mesmerizing as ever but they lacked something. They looked dull. His lush pink lips look so fine and so plump. He was sporting dark blonde hair that was all swooped back to reveal his perfect face. His body, oh my. His body was sculpted by the gods above. The first three buttons of his white dress shirt was also undone and that enabled me to see the top of his toned chest and his shirt perfectly outlined his shoulders.

I wonder what’s hiding under that dress shirt.

“Namjoon.” I leave my trance as I hear him utter my name. By the looks of it, I’m not the only one checking the other person in the room out. He also looked at me and my body which made me feel self conscious.

I cleared my throat to do the greetings more confidently. I stood straighter and smiled at him. This is a genuine smile. Ten years had done him well. He’s the CEO and he looks fantastic.

But he isn’t happy because you left him.

I shuhed my inner voices. This was no time to regret my decisions. What’s done is done. I cannot undo it anymore. It has already happened.

“It’s nice to see you once again, Seokjin hyung.” I said as I stepped closer to his desk so that I’m standing just by the chair in front of his table.

Moving closer to him enabled me to see our height differences. I was still taller than him by a good inch or two, but Seokjin still felt like the bigger man out of the two of us.

His eyes bore into mine. He looked at me intently. There was an undeniable fire underneath his eyes, and they terrified me.

Suddenly he smirked and his fingers passed through his dark blonde hair and he gave me a million dollar smile.

“It’s also nice to see you once again, Namjoon.” His voice has an undeniable fury yet he sounded so sexy. The way my name rolls from his lips makes me remember all those nights I sneaked in to his room.

“May I take a seat?” I asked politely because if I wouldn’t sit down right now, my legs were going to give me up because of the intensity of his stare.

“How rude of me. Of course.” He gestures to my chair and I sit down as he sits down as well.

The first few minutes were awkward for the two of us. He was just staring at me with an emotion that I couldn’t decipher. I just looked around his office and at the view of his floor – anything to avoid his eyes.

I just continuously run my fingers down my hair, a habit I do when I’m nervous and I know Seokjin knows this. How can he remain so stoic when I a nervous mess?

“So Seokjin hyung,” I started off not being able to last the tension any longer. “I just want to get down to business, how can you help me and what can I do in exchange of your help?”

Suddenly, he gave me an arrogant smirk.

He sat back down to his chair and right now I realize that I’m exactly where he wants me. He wants me to regret my decision – to pay for what I have done and he’s done a perfectly good job.

Here I am almost begging him to help me in exchange for almost anything he wants. I’m a nervous mess in front of him and he remains so calm.

This time, he has the upper hand.

“It’s very simple Namjoon. Your father was a good man to me. He was more of a father than my own father was. He cared for me like his son and now that he is one of his lowest points, I want to help him.” He stated in a sincere manner.

I always knew my father treated Seokjin like his son too. We were neighbours back then and Seokjin’s parents were rarely home with Seokjin. They were in New York and he was in Seoul.

“That’s wonderful Seokjin. I’m grateful to you. But I know you want something in return. What is it?” I know how businessmen worked. They always wanted something in return.

Seokjin suddenly stood up and sat at the chair opposite mine. Our knees are touching. This reminds me of how physically close we were back then.

“What do you think I want in return Namjoon? Any clues?” He slowly charged to where I sat that he is basically coming forward to where I sat and our faces seem to get even closer.

I do have a clue Seokjin but I wouldn’t give you the idea. You still can’t possibly want me. It’s been ten years.

“No Seokjin hyung. Please stop beating around the bush. What do you want in exchange of your help?” I said as I try to put more distance in between our faces.

“Think harder.” He whispers to my ear seductively and I can’t help but close my eyes and silently inhale the familiar scent dominating my nostrils.

But this scent reminded me of the past. The past that can never happen again and this wakes me up from my trance.

“Seokjin hyung please,” I say as I push him away and stand up. He stands up as well towering over me. “I’m not here to play games. My company’s in a tough situation right now. If you can’t help me then I’m just wasting my time.”

As I say those words, I turn my heel to walk away from him. When I’m finally three steps away from the door, I suddenly get pulled back and hugged from behind by a man who has haunted my dreams all these years.

He buries his nose at my neck and he embraces me from behind. He always did this when we were younger. He knows I love it when he does that and he’s using my weakness against me.

“Seokjin hyung please,” I almost begged him. “Let me go.”

Something ticked in him when I said those words. He stopped sniffing my neck and he turned me to face him. His eyes were going crazy and they were blazing with fury. I honestly don’t know what made him mad.

He gripped my right forearm in a tight but not hurtful manner. While his other hand went to my chin to make sure that I’m facing him.

“Listen Namjoon and listen well,” He says dangerously low. He’s angry – nope, he’s furious. “I will never ever let you go. You managed to slip away from me once but I’m never going to allow that to happen again. You’re going to be here by my side whether you like it or not.”

By the end of his statement, I was pushed against the wall. His face was barely three inches from mine. I saw his eyes look furious but I also saw how they looked from my eyes to my lips.

My eyes widened at his statement. He was never going to let me go? I think I made a mistake coming here and meeting him.

“Seokjin hyung stop.” I commanded him in a strong and confident voice. I may be surprised but I don’t like being pushed into walls in this manner. “I’m going whether you like it or not.”

This seems to infuriate him even more as he finally closes the gap between us. Our lips connect and he’s exactly like how he tasted ten years ago and if not – better. He kissed me hard. He kissed me with all the frustrations and anger he felt after I left him more than a decade ago. He kissed me as if he tried to make up for all those times we lost.

I stood frozen. I couldn’t kiss him back but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel what he felt. I’m so shocked but that didn’t stop my heart from breaking. This kiss reminded me so much of the past – of what I have left behind.

And that was enough to snap me back to reality.

“Seokjin hyung, please stop this.” I pleaded with him when I was finally able to get him off of me.

“Why would I stop Namjoon? You owe me ten years.” Seokjin may have stopped kissing my lips but now he went to my neck. He knows I love it when he does that.

“Would you stop? This isn’t right!” I told him angrily. I need my anger to lead this on because if not, I don’t want to know what would happen.

“Why wouldn’t this be right Namjoon? Are you with someone else? Are you actually dating another guy?” He sounded so angry as if he wanted to kill something or someone.

“No I’m no longer with anybody. Now would you stop?” I told him honestly but his eyes burned even more. They are even angrier now.

“So it means you were with somebody?” He growled dangerously low.

“So what if I was? What is it to you?” I challenge him back.

He pushes me to the wall even further leaving no space between me and him. He’s just there so undeniably close and he’s making my senses go crazy.

“How can you be with some other guy while I’m here waiting for you, Joonie?” He asks with a voice of anger but his eyes showed pain and vulnerability.

I couldn’t look at him. I felt guilty for doing this to him and making him feel like this.

“I didn’t ask for you to wait for me Seokjin hyung. I told you to move on.” I said still not able to make eye contact with him.

He cupped my face and made me look in to his eyes. His eyes held millions of emotions and I couldn’t get across all of them all at once.

“I can never move on from you, Namjoon. You’re the first and the only man I’ve ever loved. You honestly can’t expect me to simply move on from you.” He says in a voice that held nothing but pain.

And I felt his pain too.

I was feeling more and more guilty by the second and my heart continued to grow heavier. I hurt the greatest thing that could ever happen to me and for that I will never forgive myself.

I didn’t speak. I just looked into his eyes because that was enough. I heard all that had to be said and I spoke everything that needed to be told.

Finally, Seokjin moved away but he was still close. He was just no longer pushing me to the wall or touching me but he was still close.

“You ask me what I want from you?” He said and pretended to think about it for quite some time.

All the time I kept thinking, ‘Please let it not be what I think it is’.

Finally he just decides to drop the bomb, leaving me hell shock for quite some time.

“I want you Namjoon. I want you to marry me in exchange for my help.”

Chapter Text

jimin was so excited.

today was their first day as resident doctors in this new hospital.

he was even more excited knowing that his boyfriend, namjoon, would be on the same floor as him, just in another department.

jimin was currently assigned to the paediatric unit while joon would be assigned to the gynaecology department.

his baby was so nervous for today, stating how he was a bit scared dealing with mothers giving birth, but he still wanted to see children being born. namjoon says it’s the most beautiful miracle in life.

and jimin, who also loves kids, is so glad that he gets to treat the younger ones. they may not see much of each other the entire day, but their lunch times and end of shifts aligned so jimin was happy to go to work with joon, have lunch with joon, and go home with joon.

jimin hated being in their bedroom alone, especially after a tiring day. so he was glad that namjoon would be with him once they get home.

“ahh, I’m so nervous, minnie!” namjoon wiggled excitingly, “what if I drop a baby?”

jimin snorted, “you won’t joonie. you may be clumsy but I know you’ll never put a child’s life at risk like that.”

“you’re right, I’m being illogical. how about you baby, are you feeling okay?” namjoon smiled down to his tiny boyfriend, watching as his eyes crinkled into a blinding smile.

“I’m so excited, joonie. you know how much I love kids.” jimin smiled excitedly.

“I know, my love, you know I want kids too.” namjoon smiled dreamily.

“one day joonie,” jimin intertwined his fingers with his beloved, “someday we’ll have our own family.”

namjoon kissed the hand that was currently intertwined with his, “of course baby, someday.”

and that was before they clocked in at 7 in the morning.

work was coming in at a very fast pace. jimin barely had time to breathe before there was another patient to be examined, papers to fill, and errands to run.

being a resident doctor, after all, placed you at the lower end of the food chain, so jimin had to always follow his seniors’ orders whether he liked it or not.

but just before lunch time, jimin finally had the slight space to breathe. he was just in the midst of doing nimble paperwork when he overheard something that displeased him immensely.

“that new resident is so hot!” a female nurse exclaimed. “I think I would have to run down the gynaecology department even more frequently just to see that gorgeous man.”

“bitch if you’re going,” another female nurse exclaimed, “take me with you! that man is just so hot and buff! he literally looked like walking sex.” and the two ladies giggled like teenagers.

before they could proceed with their conversation, a doctor called for their assistance. jimin was both relieved and intrigued with their conversation.

jimin was sure that every department only had one or two residents at a time before they rotated. since the paediatric unit was relatively small, jimin was alone in here. but jimin wasn’t sure if namjoon was alone down there.

the thought of other girls fawning over his boyfriend had jimin clenching his jaw. while he and namjoon are in no way ashamed of their relationship, they opted to keep a low profile for now about their status as a couple.

so jimin really couldn’t just tell those girls off.

besides he didn’t even know if they were talking about /his/ joonie for sure.

he’d just have to calm down until lunch.

lunch meant seeing joonie again after all (and who wouldn’t be happy to see joonie?) but instead, jimin found himself positively seething.

the couple had agreed to meet one another in the hospital cafeteria, and the moment namjoon walked in, the nurses and staff wouldn’t stop ogling him.

it was fine, really, if they were just curious glances. but the moment jimin heard the nurse behind him mutter something about this man having their throat as a daycare for namjoon’s unborn children, jimin began to see red.

so before namjoon could even reach their table, jimin was already scowling.

“hey min—“ namjoon began but paused, “woah minnie, what happened? why do you look mad? did anything go wrong?”

“nothing.” jimin said with gritted teeth. “go get your food namjoon and come back here as quick as you can.”

“o-kay?” namjoon knew better than to test his boyfriend’s limits. at times like this, joon knew it was better for time to run its course before he began asking jimin what was wrong.

so with that, joon immediately lined up to grab his food. there were only six people before him, and right in front of him was a seemingly beautiful but tiny, female resident doctor.

“hi!” the doctor greeted as namjoon stood at the end of the line, “are you a resident doctor too?”

“yes,” joon smiled with his dimples showing, and jimin swore he heard several people in this cafeteria inhale sharply at his boyfriend’s best feature, “I’m namjoon and I’m from gynaecology.”

“nice to meet you, namjoon-ssi,” the doctor had to look at up since she only came to about namjoon’s chest, but she smiled kindly, “I’m jihyo, and I’m in cardiology right now.”

“nice to meet you too, jihyo-ssi. and please let’s not be too formal. you can call me namjoon.” namjoon told the girl who had a beautiful and friendly smile.

“likewise,” jihyo replied, “you can call me jihyo.”

“great, I’m so glad I met another resident. I haven’t met the other resident in gynaecology since they’re coming in tomorrow, and I only know jimin, he’s a resident too from paediatrics by the way, so I’m glad I came across you, jihyo.” namjoon smiled politely.

“actually,” jihyo smirked teasingly, “I’ve been hearing about you all day. you say you’re the only resident in gynaecology huh? I heard the nurses from our department giggle over a tall, hot, sex god of a resident from gynaecology today.”

“what?” namjoon’s eyes widened, “that couldn’t have been me!”

jihyo eyed namjoon from head to toe, “nah, I think they have a clear eyesight. trust me, last week, I just came from ophthalmology.”

“no I don’t believe you,” namjoon exclaimed shyly as both jihyo and him reached the front of the line to grab their food, “I haven’t heard anyone say anything.”

“well, you said you know another resident, right? well then let’s ask them.” jihyo exclaimed as she asked namjoon to introduce her to jimin.

jimin was already glaring at jihyo even before she reached their table. jimin watched namjoon interact with her and he was positively sure that this girl was hitting on his boyfriend.

“hi, I’m jihyo! it’s nice to meet you!” jihyo never lost her smile even as she noticed jimin’s glare.

“jimin.” was all the tiny pouting boy muttered.

namjoon’s eyes widened, unsure why his boyfriend was being rude to their new friend.

“uhm, minnie, are you okay?” the taller couldn’t help but ask.

“perfect.” jimin said through gritted teeth while throwing a piercing glare towards the female doctor.

why did she even have to be this pretty and have the audacity to fucking flirt with my joonie?

jihyo finally pieced the information she’s been seeing, realising that jimin was seeing her as a pest that loomed over namjoon. she finally put two and two together.

“oh my!” jihyo exclaimed while she giggled slightly, “you didn’t tell me you guys were in a relationship. namjoon, you said jimin was just a friend.”

both men blushed but while namjoon looked away, jimin only raised his brow.

“is there a problem if we are dating?” jimin challenged.

“absolutely not!” jihyo smiled brightly with a hidden mirth in her eyes, “in fact I’d love to introduce you both to my girlfriend too, tomorrow. her name’s dahyun, and if I’m not mistaken, she was assigned to gynaecology too.”

at that, jimin’s glare disappeared.

“oh my, I’m so sorry jihyo-ssi. I didn’t mean to be rude.” jimin immediately stood up and extended his hand for a handshake towards the pretty doctor, “I’m jimin, and I’m in pedia.”

“it’s alright jimin-ssi, I understand.” jihyo smiled knowingly.

“just jimin. may I call you jihyo?” jimin finally smiled at the tiny doctor.

“of course, and like I was saying, I get it. I know so many people have been ogling your boyfriend today, it must be hard for you to know who just wants to genuinely make friends.” jihyo smiled knowingly, taking a glance at the people shooting glances at namjoon right in this moment.

namjoon was just about to rebut saying that he definitely did not see anyone do such a thing, but jimin beat him to it.

“don’t even get me started,” jimin grumbled as he slammed his tiny fists on their table, “I heard some nurses gush over him even before lunch, and the moment he entered this cafeteria, I think some people lost a few morals.”

namjoon’s mouth dropped as jihyo laughed at his bewildered face, “WHAT? no one said anything, minnie!”

“yes they did,” jimin muttered angrily, “doesn’t mean you haven’t heard it, that it doesn’t exist. people have been muttering about taking you raw and letting you fuck their throat nonstop, alright?”

and suddenly jihyo’s laugh got louder, “oh my god, that’s gold! sometimes I forget I’m working in a hospital.”

“tell me about it.” jimin grumbled more.

“well as much as I would love to keep on chatting, I have to get back to my friends. I’ll introduce you to them soon, alright? enjoy your lunch. and jimin,” jihyo smirked as she looked at the small doctor with a fire in his eyes, “please be gentle. I think he was genuinely unaware.”

“that’s what’s even more annoying. namjoon’s as dense as a fucking rock.” jimin spat as he looked at his tall, hot but oblivious boyfriend.

“hey!” namjoon grumbled, “I’m right here you know!”

jihyo merely giggled before taking her leave. she laughed at the terrified look of the taller doctor and the menacing face of jimin. this was going to be fun to watch and jihyo was so glad to meet them.

“minnie!” namjoon exclaimed as he dropped his food on the table and sat beside jimin, “what do you mean by what you just said? I rarely interacted with anyone today.”

“like I said, joonie,” jimin grumbled even more, “people have been thristing over you, and I really don’t like it.”

but namjoon was namjoon. and namjoon was a natural bear — soft and mushy. he suddenly intertwined their hands, he didn’t care if anyone saw it, all joon knew was that his boyfriend was upset and he did not like that.

“jimin, you know that they can only look right?” namjoon questioned him while gazing intently to his eyes, “I’m yours and only you get to touch and have all of me.”

“oh you fucking bet, kim namjoon.” jimin grasped their hands tightly, “if I see anyone touch you, I swear, I will strap them to the surgical table and test this hospital’s defibrillator on them.”

“babe, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” namjoon muttered nervously, genuinely aware of how jimin could get if he’s jealous, “I promise I won’t let anyone come close. I’m yours and only yours, right minnie?”

jimin just glared at his boyfriend’s stupidly handsome face. ever since joon started getting buffer, these people have been fawning over him nonstop. “only mine, baby. I’ll show you when we get home.”

namjoon gulped noticing the shift in the air, aware of how hard he’s going to get it once they get home.

but even namjoon couldn’t deny how hot jimin looked when he was glaring at him like this. he was sure, that jimin wouldn’t be kind tonight.

god he hoped jimin would fuck him against the wall.

but for now, namjoon could only hope that no other person would test his terrifyingly handsome boyfriend’s patience. he sent a silent prayer that he could come to work tomorrow without limping, because god knew that he couldn’t take that sort of embarrassment.

jimin sent a prayer of his own too, to be granted a much longer patience. for he might work under paediatrics today, but one more bitch ogling at him from that table at four o’clock, and he might just have to be transferred to the morgue by tomorrow morning.

and thank god the day was ending soon by now.

the crescent moon was now shining so brightly, a few hours before midnight actually, and jimin was officially discharged from his shift. the doctor was plainly exhausted, drained, he felt and looked like a complete mess, and most importantly: he. misses. his. boyfriend.

jimin knew they just saw each other during lunch, but they weren’t able to have dinner together, since namjoon was called in to assist a childbirth.

the tiny doctor had used the time to make friends with other residents too, meeting seokjin and taehyung, as well as momo, tzuyu, and mina, whom he found out were actually jihyo’s friends.

they were nice, and they seemed really cool. but he just misses his boyfriend.

it also didn’t help that the hospital was still buzzing about his baby. jimin knew he was smaller, but he kind of just wanted to shrink namjoon down to his pocket and keep him there for his entire life.

so that others can stop ogling him, and finally stop staring at him like he was some sort of fresh meat.

(which he is, but only jimin gets to taste that meat.)

((and it’s delicious meat, by the way.))

with a sigh, jimin left the locker room, after stocking his lab gown and all his other paraphernalia inside his in house locker. he looked at the time, about to call namjoon and ask him where he is, when he opened the locker room door, and saw a six foot teddy bear waiting for him outside.

“hi!” joonie waved with an adorable dimpled smile, as if he himself wasn’t physically and emotionally drained from the entire day.

jimin couldn’t explain it really, but no matter how tired he was, seeing namjoon’s dimples really just gave him enough energy to smile until his own smile reached his sparkling eyes.

namjoon, like himself, was dressed down. all his medical stuff seemingly stocked away. the huge doctor’s hair was dishevelled, yet he didn’t look like a mess. the baby was holding two plastic bags in his right arm, bouncing back from his heel to toe as he waved at his boyfriend.

seeing jimin’s dishevelled state, the teddy bear knew exactly what to do. he raised his arms up, and barely a second later did jimin run to them, holding his personal bear tightly as he felt the emotional and physical drain of today in full force.

“my poor baby,” namjoon cooed as he held jimin as tight as the smaller one did. “you look so tired.”

jimin raised his face from namjoon’s chest to look at his boyfriend with a pout, “and I know you are too, but why is it only me who looks like a mess?”

namjoon giggled, his dimples popping out as he smiled at his lover. “that’s not true, my angel, you still look as breathtaking as ever.”

jimin shoved his face back to namjoon’s chest in a futile attempt to stop his blush. “you’re so corny, joonie. I hate you.” he says as he hugs him tighter.

being the baby that he is, namjoon only giggled as he tried to pull jimin away from his chest. “will you still hate your corny boyfriend if I told you that I brought your favorite chicken meal from that restaurant two streets away?”

when jimin looked up, he saw the eight wonder of the world looking down on him: namjoon’s dimples. and how can jimin ever say no to that? “god I really really hate how soft you’re making me feel! it’s so disgusting, you’re so disgusting!”

a laugh escaped namjoon’s adorable smile. “well I’m sorry, my angel, I just wanted to make it up to you today.”

“make up for me for what?” jimin’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“well,” namjoon bit his lip so adorably. “you did get upset a lot today because of me, and so, I really wanted to make up for that.”

get upset? is he talking about— “no joonie. I wasn’t upset with you! I was upset at those stupid bitches who were creaming all over the place at the sight of your dimples alone. but never at you.”

namjoon blushed slightly at that, but he shook his head stubbornly. “I know jimin, it’s just that, I really hate the fact that you got upset because of me. and if there’s one thing in this world that I hate the most,” namjoon, uncaring if anyone saw them, pressed his lips against jimin’s plush pout. “then that’s seeing my precious angel sad.”

maybe jimin can use jihyo’s help in cardiology. his heart was beating at a crazily stupid speed. he was sure that he could die of cardiac arrest right here right now. and his cause of death? a stupidly cute teddy bear with dimples.

he sighed as his eyes fondly gazed at his tall boyfriend. even after seven years together, ever since they were in college, jimin’s heart still sped up over namjoon’s kisses. his breathing still became erratic whenever namjoon smiled at him. and he just. still loved namjoon as much as he did when they first got together. hell, jimin thinks he falls in love with him more and more and more each day as if that was even possible with how much he already loved namjoon.

“if that’s the case then who am I to stop you, doctor kim?” jimin pressed a kiss of his own to namjoon’s lips. the taller boy only holding his waist tighter as their lips locked. “I would never deny my boyfriend spoiling me.”

“well it will be my honor to spoil the prettiest and kindest doctor in the whole wide world!” namjoon giggled as he removed his arms from around jimin to intertwine their hands. “can I take you home, doctor park?”

“oh absolutely, my love.” jimin swung their hands together as they walked down the hall. “and I remember making a promise a while ago during lunch time, hmm? I haven’t forgotten, joonie.”

oh god. namjoon gulped. but truthfully? he hoped jimin truly didn’t forget.

“well I did say I wanted to make it up to you, didn’t I?” namjoon teased back as they entered the elevator to the parking area. “will you let me off the hook if I let you fuck my ass raw, minnie?”

“hmm,” jimin pretended to think about it, as if it wasn’t already a done deal. “let me fuck your throat too and then I’d consider it, joonie.”

well who the fuck would be opposed to that? “deal!” then namjoon paused, his smirk turning teasing. “just be sure you still have enough stamina, my love. you look tired, and you’re also kind of getting old now.”

jimin gasped, a little scandalized as they both entered their car with namjoon at the passenger’s seat. “you did not just say that!”

“oh but I did!” namjoon laughed that quickly turned into a yelp as jimin pinched his nipple once he has fastened his seatbelt. “you sure you can last long, minnie?”

and jimin was truly about to retort again, but he paused all of a sudden. he saw namjoon, tired looking namjoon that walked two streets away just to get his favorite chicken meal, just because he got upset about something namjoon couldn’t even control. he saw namjoon smiling down on him with that eight wonder of the world. he saw pretty, pretty namjoon that was his, and his alone. he saw namjoon, not the doctor, but the love of his fucking life.

and yes, jimin thinks this is going to last long. probably even forever.

but instead he smirked, levelling namjoon with his own teasing gaze. “you’re about to eat your words, joonie.” then he pressed on the gas. “just like how I’m going to eat your perky little ass.”

and that was how four hours later, namjoon found himself dripping cum from his cock and both his holes. jimin didn’t just make him come twice, he made him come three times actually, with jimin coming with him every single time.

and yes, jimin did fuck him against the wall.

well if this is how a possessive and jealous jimin rammed his ass in one night, then namjoon might just have to pair his white lab coat with extra, extra skinny jeans tomorrow.

Chapter Text

His back was hurting.

That was all Namjoon could feel.

He was aching all over his body as he tried to push himself up from his rocking chair. He must have fallen asleep as he was reading his book, and god dammit his back was hurt.

He wished he could call someone to help him. Actually, he knows there was indeed someone who could aid him. He tried racking his brain for their name, but all he was coming up were dead ends that was giving him a fucking headache. 

Okay, whatever, guess he could get up by himself.

He tried, though, he tried his best. He tried to push himself up, only to fall back down on his rocking chair with a loud and long painful groan because fuck! That hurts.

“Mr. Kim!”

The young lady’s voice sounded distant, but before he could groan in pain again, there was a small yet steady hand helping him to sit back down properly, and slowly ease the pain on the bottom of his spine.

“Sir, you should have called for me.” The lady fretted with nothing but utter worry in her voice. But Namjoon, once his vision cleared out from that stab of pain, only blinked at her.

“Uhm,” He muttered. “Who are you?”

From up close, Namjoon could see that the young girl had big expressive eyes that widened at the question directed to her. She bit her lip a little worryingly. “Sir, I’m a, uhm,” she cleared her throat. “I’m your personal nurse and caregiver, Mr. Kim. I’m Jihyo.”

In retrospect, Jihyo wasn’t really surprised that Namjoon had forgotten her name again. It had happened quite a few times already. Her only worry was that it was getting more and more frequent now. It was the third time this week and it was only a Tuesday.

Namjoon tried his best to remember, but he really couldn’t remember having a personal nurse. “I’m really sorry, darling, I just really cannot remember you.”

Her eyes softened, a little pitifully, but smiled politely nonetheless. “That’s fine sir, I was assigned by your son Jimin. You remember Mr. Jimin, right?”

Ah-ha! Yes, yes he did. “Yes, I do, he is my son.” Namjoon smiled. “How is he by the way? I haven’t seen him in years.”

Jihyo’s smile dropped again. It was at the tip of her tongue to remind the old man that Jimin was just here last weekend, but then she remembered the doctor’s orders. 

‘Do not force him to remember things he has difficulty remembering. It may induce more stress than his mind and body could handle.’

“Ah yes he is, and I’m sure he will come and visit you again soon sir,” Jihyo giggled at the excited look at the old man’s face. “And he placed me here because he knows that you need a lot of help. Especially when you were trying to get up and move around.”

Ah, so Jihyo must have been the person Namjoon thinks he was supposed to call for. That made sense. “Ah, alright, I’m sorry I forgot. But can you please help me get to bed, Jihyo?”

“No need to apologize Mr. Kim, and come on. Grab my hand, and I’ll help you up.”

For her small stature, Jihyo was strong and was able to help an old man probably twice or thrice her size reach his bed. Upon reaching the surface of his mattress, Namjoon couldn’t help but groan in relief as his back met with something much more softer than his armchair. 

“There you go, Mr. Kim.” Jihyo properly placed the pillows around him to ensure the safety of the old man. “Now I’ll be going for a little while to go and prepare your meal and medicine, okay? Can you stay here for me?”

Of course. He can do that. “Okay, darling. I will.”

“That’s good.” This young girl had a pretty smile. Did Namjoon have a grandson or granddaughter? Maybe he could introduce her to them. He would have to ask Jimin if he indeed had a grandchild that was currently single. “Yell for me if you need me, Mr. Kim.”

With a polite bow, Jihyo turned and headed for the kitchen. She left with a little less worry when she saw that Namjoon had closed his eyes again, probably still tired from his untimely nap.

It didn’t take her long to prepare the porridge for Namjoon’s meal time. He couldn’t really eat much more solid foods, so she prepared him some porridge and fruits, a glass of milk for old age, along with his prescribed medicine.

For back pain, hypertension, arthritis, something about his kidney, and oh right — for his dementia.

She was preparing to put them all on a tray when she heard the front door open. Oh! He must be home.

“Mr. Jungkook, welcome home!” Jihyo politely smiled as the other old man was ushered by her fellow nurse, Nayeon, to the kitchen where she was standing. Jihyo greeted her unnie too.

“Hello Jihyo!” The other Mr. Kim greeted politely as Jihyo bowed. “Oh is it already time for his supper?”

“Yes it is, sir, you came home right on time.” Jihyo nodded towards the tray on the counter. “How was your meeting with your friends, Mr. Kim?”

“It was great. Hoseok and Taehyung are still as annoying as they are now old.” Even Nayeon and Jihyo couldn’t help but laugh at that. “How was he by the way?”

Jihyo bit her lip, debating if she would tell Jungkook about what happened today. But she remembers that Nayeon told her to always be honest to Namjoon’s husband. “Well, he did read books after tending to his plants. Soon he fell asleep on his armchair again, and when he woke up, he tried getting up by himself, and uhm, his back must have hurt him a lot.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Again?”

“Yeah, but when he woke up, he uhm,” Jihyo sighed. “He didn’t call for me. I think he forgot my name again. So I told him I was his nurse and that I was assigned by your son. He asked how your son was doing since he thinks he hasn’t seen Mr. Jimin in years.”

For a fleeting moment, Jungkook remained silent. Nayeon’s hand on his back in a subtle way to soothe him and ease his worries. A look of apprehension crossed Jungkook’s wrinkled eyes, but he sighed nonetheless, and nodded in acceptance.

“Yeah the doctors warned about that.”

Jihyo and Nayeon could only look down.

They have been preparing for this moment for so long, and Jungkook truthfully understood. Namjoon was already 83, and he was 80 himself. Dementia came with old age, and there was really nothing much they could do about that.

But sometimes, Jungkook couldn’t help but pray to a God he did not exactly believe in. Still, he prays that Namjoon will never ever forget him.

“Anyways,” Jungkook shrugged it off. “Nayeon, Jihyo, please help me bring him his food.”

“Of course, Mr. Kim.” Nayeon said as she nodded at Jihyo to bring the tray.

All three of them slowly walked towards the master’s bedroom, going in slow steps as Jungkook himself couldn’t walk that fast anymore. Soon, they entered the room to find Namjoon in a light snooze.

“Hello, Mr. Namjoon,” Nayeon lightly shook the old man as she helped Jungkook sit beside him. The old man was still taking a deep breath as he had walked a lot today, so he allowed Nayeon to be the one to wake Namjoon up. He set his walking stick by the bedside and Jihyo took it and set it away properly. “Wake up, sir, supper is here.”

Thankfully, old Namjoon was still as easy to wake as young Namjoon.

Looking a little dazed as he opened his eyes, he awoke to Jihyo rearranging his food, and Nayeon slowly easing him to consciousness. He grumbled something at the back of his throat as Jihyo and Nayeon helped him sit up.

“W-who are you?” Namjoon stammered as he saw another unfamiliar face.

“I’m Nayeon, sir, your other nurse.” Nayeon politely smiled, already used to this.

“But I thought I already had Jihoon.” Namjoon said as she pointed at the other woman in the room.

Meanwhile, Jihyo bit her lip, a little sad and little worried. There was no point in correcting him. He’d just forget it all over again.

“Well there is the two of us, sir,” Nayeon did not find the need to correct him too. “I take care of the other Mr. Kim.”

Nayeon pointed at the other man that was silently watching the scene unfold. He watched a little anxiously, unsure of how Namjoon would react to his presence.

Ever since Namjoon entered his 80’s, things had really been going rocky for his memory. But not once has he ever forgotten his husband, and he genuinely hopes that day isn’t today.

Actually, he hopes that day will never come.

Namjoon’s old and crinkly eyes wandered to the man beside him. He was old too, and despite the haze his newly awakened brain was undergoing, he saw the clear apprehension in the old man’s eyes.

Eyes that shined so brightly, and despite the obvious wrinkles surrounding it, still stared so boldly at him. Dark brown orbs that glimmered despite the setting sun, and Namjoon thinks that in his more than eight decades on earth, he has never seen eyes more beautiful than his.

Those big, beautiful eyes that never lied to the world, no matter how hard it tried.

Those doe eyes that Namjoon would recognize from miles away.

Those sparkling eyes that Namjoon first fell in love with.

Those deer like eyes that Namjoon will never ever, ever, forget.

“Kookie!”

A look of relief crossed Jungkook’s face. He couldn’t help but expel a heavy breath that seemed to release all the tension from that short moment. He smiled widely too, old and wrinkly, but still oh so pretty.

“Joonie!”

Namjoon couldn’t help but giggle at the old silly nickname, and the loving way his husband had always said his name. “Where have you been all day, Kookie?”

The other old man scooted close to his husband, stretching his legs beside him as he sat adjacent to Namjoon. “Taehyung and Hoseok had asked to meet me for lunch, silly. Have you forgotten?”

Namjoon couldn’t help but bite his lip a little anxiously. He could remember Hoseok but, “Who’s Taehyung?”

Another flash of worry crossed Jungkook’s eyes. “He’s, uhm, my best friend since I was 30 remember? Uhm, he’s our good friend too, Joonie.”

Namjoon’s eyes turned apologetic. A pout forming on his lips as his eyebrows scrunched in together. “I’m sorry, I really don’t remember him.”

Jungkook sighed again. It was really getting worse now. “It’s okay my love, I’ll tell you all about him and everything we did today.” Jungkook passed it off with a smile. “But first, you have to eat supper. Come I’ll feed you.”

With a little help from Jihyo, Jungkook sat up and Nayeon handed over the bowl of porridge to Jungkook. This wasn’t new too. Most of the times, Jungkook fed Namjoon himself, whether breakfast, lunch, or supper. So the two nurses knew what to do.

Jungkook gratefully took the bowl to his lap as he sat facing his husband. Namjoon watched him carefully, eyeing his movements silently.

“Here Joonie,” Jungkook smiled. “Eat up, my love.”

Once everything was settled, Nayeon and Jihyo nodded to excuse themselves from the room. Jungkook has told them in the past that he wishes to feed Namjoon alone most of the times. And if Jungkook ever needed anything, then they would come. But until then, this was Namjoon and Jungkook’s moment.

So silently they left the room, watching Namjoon tell Jungkook about the book he was reading after Jungkook left. As if he hasn’t told him about it for more than fifty times by now. But the two nurses only smiled, absolutely used to it.

Meanwhile Jungkook only listened eagerly, as if he was hearing the story for the first time. When it was his turn to speak, Jungkook told him all about how Hoseok and Taehyung had invited him to tea at their garden. It was in retribution, after Seokjin and Yoongi had only invited Namjoon for breakfast at the golf course the other day. Leaving Jungkook pouting at their house all alone.

“And Hoseok said that his granddaughter Momo was now a very successful Youtuber, whatever that means. I think it’s a game kids are using these days.” Jungkook shrugged as Namjoon nodded, absorbing every word his husband was saying. “It’s so weird, but I also told them about our own granddaughter, Tzuyu. How she’s a model now.”

That got Namjoon’s attention. “Tzuyu?”

“Yes honey,” Jungkook smiled softly. “She’s our granddaughter, my love. Do you not remember her?”

Again Namjoon only pouted as he shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, love.” Jungkook leaned over to place a soft kiss on Namjoon’s wrinkled forehead. “It’s fine. I’ll ask her and her older brother, Mingyu, to drop by soon. Maybe next week? But I think our youngest daughter Jeongyeon, and her three kids will be visiting us this weekend too.”

Namjoon nodded silently. He indeed remembers Jeongyeon, but no matter how he tried, he couldn’t even picture the faces of their grandkids. He wordlessly ate his food after that, simply listening to Jungkook recall more about their day.

Soon the porridge was finished and Jungkook dropped the plate on the tray by their bedside table. He looked over his husband a little worryingly, as he had been a little too silent since they talked about their grandchildren.

“My love,” Jungkook called out as he noticed Namjoon spacing out. “Is everything okay?”

At first, Namjoon nodded. It wasn’t a big deal anyways, but then Jungkook only had to raise his brow at him before he sighed, a little defeated. He thinks there was no point in lying anymore.

“My head hurts so much, Kookie.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened worryingly. “What? Why didn’t you say so? Stay here, I’ll call for Jihyo and I’ll ask her to—“

“No,” Namjoon said firmly. “Not like that.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Then what do you mean?”

Namjoon took a moment to collect his thoughts, before lifting his sad gaze towards his husband. He could do this, Jungkook always understood him perfectly well.

“It hurts, Jungkook,” Namjoon sighed again. “I keep thinking of things and people and memories. And all I’d run into are dead ends. Sometimes I hurt myself from thinking about something too much. But I just want to remember.”

A heavy silent moment passed between them. Namjoon was obviously too frustrated, and Jungkook didn’t exactly know what to do.

“I’m so scared, Kookie.” Namjoon sighed out, his eyes turning a little glassy. “When you were telling me all about these people, friends and family, I could feel it in my heart. I could feel that they are indeed important people in my life. But I just could not, for the love of god, remember their faces or names. And I’m so scared.”

This time, neither Jungkook nor Namjoon could stop their tears from falling.

“I don’t want to wake up one day not even remembering my own name.” And then he gulped, breathing a little shakily as he looked at the tears falling from his husband’s own eyes. “I don’t want to wake up one day not even remembering the man I married.”

And that was that, both their biggest fear.

For all that Namjoon could think of, he thinks not being able to remember the way Jungkook smiled was the pinnacle of his worries.

For a life devoid of Jungkook is like having a body without a soul. A heart that cannot beat.

“You won’t.” Jungkook said firmly, as if there was no room for discussion.

“I’m not sure Kookie, what if—“

“No, Joonie. You won’t.” Jungkook cut him off as he lifted his hands to hold Namjoon’s face right in between his palms. “Trust me, my love. That will never happen.”

Something about how Jungkook said it, makes Namjoon believe his words like a student to their rabbi. “Yeah?”

“I’ve known you for more than sixty years now, Joonie, and we’ve been married for about five decades. There’s no way you’ll forget about me.” Jungkook said, not sure whether he was reassuring himself or Namjoon. “I won’t ever let that happen.”

And Jungkook’s assurance alone has Namjoon believing that the entire world can wipe away all his knowledge and memories, but it will never be powerful enough to wipe away his heart.

“Promise me, Kookie,” Namjoon whispers as he bumps their foreheads together. “Promise me that you’ll never let me forget you.”

“You have my word, Joonie.” Jungkook whispered as he dipped down to leave a small and chaste kiss on Namjoon’s old and chapped lips. “I’ll always remind you of us, of me, of the people you love. I’ll never ever let you forget how much I love you, and how much you love me.”

Both of them exhale shakily.

“And even if you do fail to remember,” Jungkook was trying his best to mask his own worries. He won’t be scared. “I know your heart will never, ever forget me.”

He bumps their foreheads together in assurance, just like how they did when they were twenty one, thirty seven, sixty two, and now, at eighty.

“Your heart will never, ever, ever forget the way my own heart loves you and only you.”

And there as the sun set, did all his worries, although not completely erased, were indeed eased away. Namjoon didn’t know who he would forget again tomorrow. Maybe in days, in months, or in the years (if he would be given more) to come, Namjoon’s memories would fade into the wind like the leaves blew across the field during the fall.

But he also knew that even if one day, every single memory of his was gone, that he’ll also never ever forget this .

This being the man he loves. The man he has intertwined his body and mind for more than fifty years. The man who had never left him, and has stayed with him through the mountains and valleys of his life. The man with eyes he would never ever forget.

For one look at those doe eyes, and everything came rushing back to Namjoon so quickly. Eyes that never lost its sparkle ever since he first saw them at that pub sixty years ago. Eyes that never failed to make Namjoon smile whether he was a college senior or a forgetful senior. Those eyes that shone with nothing but pure and adulterated love with a hint of a promise at his husband, and Namjoon knows that he will always, always remember.

That yes, this man is my husband, the other half of my soul.

And if my mind forgets, then my heart will always remember the love it has for those big, beautiful eyes.

Namjoon thinks that he’d never, ever forget those eyes, even until his next lifetime.

SPOILER: he passes away with those eyes as the last thing he sees, albeit a little teary, but still sparkling and oh so beautiful. And yes, in his next lifetime, he indeed falls in love with those doe eyes all over again.

Chapter Text

Tell me where I went wrong.

That was all Namjoon could beg for.

I just want to know. The boy sobbed on his empty bed. Why wasn’t I enough?

He knew he wasn’t the most handsome man in the world. But Taehyung said he was, or at least Taehyung made him believe he was. Those words that he said, were they all lies too?

Maybe he was wrong to build his self worth over the words of some other man, but Namjoon never, in a million years, thought that the man he had loved with all his heart would ever do this to him after all.

He never knew that this was how their love would turn out.

He closed his eyes, willing the tears to stop. But every time he did, all he could see was the image of his other half kissing someone else at the middle of the club.

The worst part?

Namjoon was supposed to be used to it.

For this wasn’t the first time Taehyung had done this.

He had done it over and over again, and after each time he did so, he came back to Namjoon on his knees, begging to take him back because, ‘I didn’t mean it, Joonie hyung, it’s still you, and they were a mistake. You’re the only one that’s right for me. I love you, my angel.’

And oh Namjoon, good ‘ol Namjoon with a pure stupid heart, could only open his arms and take him back again. Not because he had truly forgiven him, but because Namjoon was stupid enough to believe that Taehyung would someday change. That a time will come, that their love for each other would finally, finally , triumph.

Until tonight.

Tonight when he had seen Taehyung in the arms of another man, lips in a sensual dance in the middle of a crowd as if nothing was wrong with what they were doing. As if it wasn’t shameful, as if they weren’t shameful enough.

Truth be told, if Namjoon never got the text from Hobi, that his boyfriend of four years was fooling around at the club again, Namjoon wouldn’t be able to tally this off tonight.

But what was so different about tonight? Why did tonight hurt a lot?

Ah yes, because tonight, Taehyung was in the arms of not just any other man.

He was in the arms of his ex-boyfriend just before Namjoon, he was with Seojoon.

The heavy weight on his chest was gruesome. He felt like being crushed underneath a wrecking ball over and over again. Nothing could ever compare to the way his blood froze, and how his heart stopped beating the moment he saw Tae’s lips on Seojoon’s. And when time finally came back and he had once again regained his senses, the pain literally threw Namjoon off of his feet.

He was still sobbing so harshly when he finally heard the front door open.

Taehyung was home .

(If this place still had any semblance of home, that is.)

The younger boy crept up to their room, and with each footstep, Namjoon felt his heart break into half and half and half again, until it was practically crushed into nonexistence. It literally hurt that much.

Taehyung was careful in his footsteps, he didn’t know if his boyfriend was still awake. He hated depriving Namjoon of some good night’s sleep after all.

Oh how ironic that he was actually the cause of Namjoon’s worst nightmares.

So he was careful, but a few steps away from their door and he heard it — heavy sobs from the man he loved the most. So without any grace, Taehyung opened their door, and was greeted to the sight of, well – complete and utter heartbreak.

He was a mess. Oh what a mess, but still so beautiful. Taehyung could never find a fault in Namjoon. Even at his worst, Namjoon was exquisitely perfect.

Then why do you hurt him so, a voice in Taehyung’s conscience whispered.

“Joon?” Taehyung’s eyes turned worried. He quickly got out of his clothes, snatching a random shirt on their desk. He stripped down until he was just in his boxers and the shirt he had picked up. He then slowly approached the bed, and he knew Namjoon could hear and feel him, but the older boy made no move to acknowledge him. “What’s wrong, my angel?”

Namjoon almost scoffed out loud. If I was your angel, then why do you keep cutting off my wings?

But then another voice whispered in his semi fucked up head, But why do you keep letting him do so over and over again?

“Namjoonie?”

His voice was so gentle, like a true guardian angel. But guardian angels don’t let you get hurt. It’s ironic, actually, how he had to save himself from this angel. And Namjoon knew that no one else could save him, not any angel or human, at least not by anyone else but himself.

When Namjoon looked up to meet Taehyung’s eyes, Taehyung’s breath got caught up in his throat. He knows what he has done, what he has been doing over and over again. And it should be disgusting how he was supposedly used to this look in Namjoon’s eyes. But this was different. For years, he had seen Namjoon angry, Namjoon sad, and Namjoon broken. But tonight, Namjoon had a different look in his eyes.

Namjoon looked empty.

No.

“Angel, talk to me.” There was a silver of nervousness coating Taehyung’s voice. “What’s wrong?”

Tears fell freely from Namjoon’s eyes, because wasn’t that the golden question? What was wrong? Was it Namjoon? Wasn’t he enough? Didn’t he love Taehyung enough? He could go on and on with all these self doubts. But the truth was this , no matter how many times Namjoon asked and wondered for answers, he knew that it was never about himself.

For he had loved Taehyung so fucking much. He had loved Taehyung with every inch of his heart, his body, his mind, and his soul. He loved Taehyung with everything he had, with everything he was. So if his everything still wasn’t enough, then Namjoon thinks that isn’t his fault anymore.

Loved.

“I keep asking myself that question, Taehyung-ah.” It was scaring them both how emotionless Namjoon sounded. “But it’s time I asked you that. What’s wrong, Tae?”

Taehyung sat dumbfounded. His mouth agape as he tried to come up with a proper response. He doesn’t know what this was, yes you do , or maybe he just didn’t want to believe it.

“I-I don’t know what you mean, angel.”

Wow, Namjoon scoffed tiredly in his head. Like a true cheater.

But all the anger in Namjoon’s body was gone. Truthfully it was gone for quite some time now. Like the true five stages of grief, his anger was first replaced by sadness, then by denial, he thinks he also passed bargaining. And now he’s finally here – acceptance.

Acceptance that Taehyung will never ever change.

“You know, Tae, about two years after we got together. I thought about how I wanted to ask you to marry me.” Namjoon smiled, but there was no hint of joy in those chapped lips. “I knew you loved art, so I thought about proposing to you in an art gallery. Or maybe I would whisk you away to Paris, and I’d propose to you smack down in the middle of the Louvre.”

A hollow laugh, nothing was humorous.

“I thought of a million ways of how I would someday do it. Until you told me, that I should give this to you.” Another tear slipped, and neither Namjoon nor Taehyung made an effort to wipe it away. “You told me that you wanted to be the one to propose to me, and I said, fine. You know I’m always weak from you.”

Taehyung gulped, of course he knew that. He even took that for granted over and over and over again.

“Is, is this about that?” Taehyung tried, willing his voice to remain calm. “Do you want to get married hyung?”

Namjoon stared so blankly at him. He didn’t know if he should be offended, that Taehyung still thought of him as someone so stupid. Stupid enough to still want to spend the rest of his life with him, after everything he had done.

But then again he was still here.

“No,” Namjoon shook his head so weakly, but his voice was firm. “I’m telling you that that was why I could never leave you.”

A shaky breath expelled from Taehyung’s lungs. No, not this. Not again.

“Hyung listen to me—“ Taehyung was prepared to go off into a long speech. And again, it should be equally disgusting how he had a speech already prepared in his fucked up mind. How fucking horrible was he exactly?

But Namjoon only raised his palm to get him to stop talking. “For y-years, I told myself, I would wait for you to do i-it.” He exhaled shakily, taking a moment to breathe properly. “I w-would wait until it would be you who would finally, finally do it. I would wait until it was you who left me, because I was always so weak for you, and only god knows why.”

Taehyung was rendered speechless. Despite all the times they had this talk, Namjoon never openly told him this. And truth be told, it was so fucking terrifying.

Taehyung could literally feel Namjoon slipping from his fingertips, and god, it was scary.

“So for almost two years, I waited, and I kept on waiting. Until I didn’t even know what I was waiting for anymore. Was I waiting for you to change? Was I waiting for you to finally leave me? All I knew was that I kept on waiting for the man I loved over and over again.”

A heavy silence passed, Taehyung felt the first tear slip from his own eyes.

“Until I realized,” Namjoon exhaled a shaky laugh. “That I wasn’t waiting for anyone anymore. Because you, Taehyung-ah, weren’t the man I loved any longer.”

He can’t breathe. God it hurt. It fucking hurts like hell. Taehyung’s eyes were suddenly brimming with tears, his breathing became heavy as he tried to make sense of Namjoon’s painful words.

“No,” Taehyung whispered, almost begging. “Please don’t say that.”

Loved . No. Oh god, Namjoon didn’t love him anymore. No, no, please, no. Anything but this.

This was Taehyung’s worst nightmare coming to life.

You deserve it.

“I saw you with him tonight you know.” Namjoon was done beating around the bush, noticing how Taehyung froze. “I saw you with Seojoon.”

God, fuck no. Please no. Taehyung swore, he swore with his whole life that if he were to survive this hit with Namjoon, then he would never ever do this ever again. He can’t fathom the thought that Namjoon had loved him no longer. It was too much – too painful.

“It hurt Taehyung, like every other time you did it.” Namjoon whispered as a fresh wave of tears flowed from both their eyes. “I thought I should get used to it, but God did it hurt more and more every single time. And tonight it hurt the most.”

For the first time in his entire life, Taehyung began to pray to a God he never believed in. Please, he begged, please don’t let him leave me.

“Hyung, I’m so, so sor—“

“I’ve heard you say that a million times by now, Tae, you’d even get on your knees for me right?” Namjoon whispered brokenly. He knew how this would go. Like an old script from that cliché scandalous affair movie, it was almost getting redundant. “I’ve stopped believing you a long time ago.”

Even though he knew that this was all his fault, Taehyung couldn’t still help but plead. To god or to Namjoon, or to just anyone, to just please not let him lose the other half of his soul. “Joonie listen to me, I’m never going to do that again. Please, I swear. This time, I’m not joking around. I can’t lose you. The thought of you not loving me anymore is so fucking horrifying,” Taehyung sobbed out, like he had the right to. “I can’t lose you.”

Namjoon only bit his lip, eyes still emptily staring at him. Taehyung had a new script now, but Namjoon was long done with this film.

“You had two years to come to that, Taehyung-ah,” Namjoon whispered as he raised his palm to thumb away the tears from Taehyung’s left cheek. Even in his worst pain, Namjoon still thought of Taehyung’s wellbeing. “Just like how I had two years to do this.”

Do what? Wait, no. Please no.

In that very moment, Taehyung felt his whole come crashing down, all because of a tiny tilt of Namjoon’s head towards the direction behind his head.

It was dark, it was 4 am and only the moonlight was peaking from their open curtains. But Taehyung still saw it perfectly clear when he turned his head behind him.

Namjoon’s suitcases.

“Hyung!” Taehyung all but yelled, scrambling towards his lover on his side of the bed. He grabbed Namjoon’s face tightly in the middle of his palms. “Please don’t do this, no please, please don’t, Namjoon hyung. Don’t leave me.”

Taehyung sobbed so intensely as the other only looked at him blankly. Taehyung had never felt crippling fear like this ever in his life. For all the times he had begged Namjoon to stay, Namjoon had never went as far as packing his stuff. They were all words, promises of Namjoon to leave him. Promises that Taehyung took for granted countless times.

“Tae,” Namjoon’s hand grasped the other’s face too. “I think this is long overdue.”

A heavy sob escaped from Taehyung’s lips alcohol stained lips, just before he crashed into Namjoon's arms. He embraced the man so tightly, so afraid as if in one a blink of the eye, Namjoon would wholly disappear. “Please don’t do this to me, hyung.”

And Namjoon, good ‘ol Namjoon was still so pure, but was no longer stupid. Namjoon will still be kind despite how his heart had been crushed, then stumped over, and thrown off into tiny million pieces scattered all over the world. He still held the younger boy, holding him in his arms in an attempt to coax him despite not owing him any comfort at all. “I’m sorry Tae, I have to.”

The tears wouldn’t stop, not even when Taehyung buried himself in Namjoon’s neck. His chest heavily breathing in and out as he racked with heart wrenching cries. “Please hyung, I love you so fucking much. I won’t make it without you. Please let me fix this. I swear, hyung, I swear, I’ll never do this again. Please.”

God how many times had Namjoon heard that? Was it the first girl Taehyung had fucked behind his back? Or was it that time Taehyung went on a ‘business trip’ with some pretty face and a big dick?

All that Namjoon knew is that it stops tonight .

Tonight because this night was when Taehyung went behind his back with someone that meant a lot to his life – to his heart.

For years, it was always meaningless fucks. A pretty girl besotted with him, a handsome boy that trailed the young manager like a dog wherever he went. The bookshop owner from downtown, or the handsome waiter that only needed an extra tip and a subtle wink to have him bend over for Taehyung.

But tonight, it was with someone Taehyung had once loved. Someone Taehyung had kissed and hugged like he had done with Namjoon.

And Namjoon can’t compete with that.

“Shh, baby,” Despite his attempts to calm the younger, Namjoon himself was in tears. “You’re going to be fine.”

You have to be, because I’m going to be.

“I can’t hyung, I won’t be.” Taehyung pulled himself from Namjoon’s neck, only to crash his lips against Namjoon’s in utter desperation. As if he hadn’t kissed somebody else with those tequila stained lips. “I need you please, I love you so much.”

The younger boy pushed Namjoon flat on his back on the soft mattress. Despite all that he had said, Namjoon was still indeed weak for the younger boy. So he allowed him to be pushed down, but only lying still.

When Taehyung noticed his unresponsiveness, he detached his lips from Namjoon’s, only to come down on his neck. He knew this, god he knew this. He knew how weak Namjoon was for his lips, for his kisses. So why was Namjoon neither responding nor doing anything to stop him?

“Hyung please,” Taehyung sucked a hickey. “I’ll marry you right now if that’s what it takes. I’ll whisk you away to Paris and I’ll get down on one knee under the Eiffel tower or in the middle of the Louvre. I’ll do it, my angel, just please don’t leave me.”

Oh what a wonderful dream that sounded like.

Like a man possessed, Taehyung kept sucking on Namjoon’s neck like a leech. Marking him, as if he still had the right to do so, all the while Namjoon laid there motionless.

Namjoon’s demise came to a point that he was more than willing to forget all of Taehyung’s wrongdoings the moment the younger got down on one knee for him. As if a diamond ring could solve all their problems, as if a golden ring could make him stay.

“I wouldn’t be needing that, Taehyung-ah.” Namjoon said as his hands shot up to the younger’s head, ruffling his hair lightly. “It’s not going to change anything.”

Taehyung whimpered so heartbreakingly into his neck that Namjoon almost whimpered with him. “Please don’t leave me, Joonie. I love you so much.”

For what it’s worth, Namjoon had a flash of indecisiveness in that moment. He was stuck, a little worried if he indeed made the right decision. If he indeed could break this beautiful boy’s heart.

But then he wondered, how can he leave when it was Taehyung who left him first? Every single time Taehyung kissed someone that wasn’t him, he left Namjoon over and over again. Until Namjoon couldn’t even remember how it felt to have that Taehyung he had fallen in love with more than four years ago.

‘I can’t leave him, when it’s him who left me a thousand times in a span of two years.’

“And I begged you to stop hurting me like this for more times than I could count,” He didn’t sound snarky, just plainly stating facts as he ran his fingers through Taehyung’s dark curls. “Sometimes we really can’t have everything we wish for.”

Taehyung had never felt misery like this in his entire life.

“I wished for you to stay, to choose me and just me. But you never did. Yes, I may have been your first choice, but I was never your only choice.” Namjoon silently wept as Taehyung’s cries echoed inside their room. “So now, I’m doing it for me. I’m choosing myself.”

Despite the heaviness of the situation, there was a big chunk of weight that lifted from Namjoon’s chest the moment he uttered those words. The feeling of being free from all those inhibitions, the feeling of finally letting go of all that pulled him down was so exhilarating. Not even Taehyung pinning him down physically was enough to bring down his spirit.

“I’m sorry, hyung, I’m sorry. I’ll never do this again, I fucking swear.” Like a broken record, Taehyung echoed it again and again. But it all meant nothing to Namjoon’s ears now. “I know you still love me, and I still love you. You wouldn’t hurt me right? You wouldn’t hurt the man you love?”

If this was a month, or a week, hell even a day earlier, Namjoon might find himself getting mad. How dare Taehyung use that against him? It wasn’t him who constantly told their boyfriend that they loved him, only to cheat on him almost twice a month. For two whole years.

But that’s when Namjoon realized that anger was exactly what Taehyung wanted, because Taehyung was good at that — at manipulating his anger. An angry Namjoon was an impulsive Namjoon, and Taehyung knew how to play his anger in the palm of his hands.

That’s how he got him to stay for so long, after all.

But enough is enough. It ends tonight.

Taehyung felt pure and unrivalled despair when he looked up and still saw the same emptiness in Namjoon’s eyes. It was at this point when Namjoon would usually start sobbing, would start yelling, and sometimes, would even hit him on his chest. But he was never this silent.

“Hyung?”

“For four years I had stayed with you and only you, even if in those last two, you have done nothing but break me apart.” Namjoon whispered as Taehyung loomed above his head, straddling his hips. “Never ever doubt my love for you, because until the very end, I believed in yours.”

And he truly had. That’s why he stayed, because he believed in Taehyung’s love that he wasn’t even sure existed anymore. It wasn’t fair really. Namjoon had stayed with Taehyung for years, enduring it all. And Taehyung had the time to change, to become the man suited for Namjoon. But he never did.

And he didn’t know why.

Another whimper left Taehyung’s lips. “I’m so sorry I was a douchebag to you, Joonie. But please believe when I say that I love you—“

Against all odds, Namjoon still believed in that.

“—and I would never hurt you like this ever again.”

But not those empty words again.

Still the older boy simply remained silent. Allowing Taehyung to sob against his neck, who sometimes reached up to meet his lips. Namjoon simply allowed it, not just for Taehyung, but selfishly, for him too.

He would miss Taehyung’s lips the most.

He could maybe say that he would also miss the way Taehyung had cared for him, the way Taehyung would hand feed him strawberries every morning, or maybe the way Taehyung would glide his nose all over his neck right before they fell asleep. Maybe he could also say that he would miss the way Taehyung loved him the most.

But he won’t, because that Taehyung was long gone.

Namjoon has mourned for him enough.

He could feel the younger maneuvering him in his arms, until they lied down on their bed like how they usually do. Namjoon on the right, Taehyung on the left. He wouldn’t let go of Namjoon, holding him in his arms as if in the next moment, Namjoon would disappear.

Gone.

“Don’t leave me hyung,” Taehyung’s eyelids were getting heavy, the mix of alcohol, tears, and exhaustion overwhelming his body that’s begging for rest. He snaked his arms around Namjoon as tight as he can though, holding him close. “I love you, please don’t ever leave me.”

Namjoon figured that there was only one way for this to go. So he nodded. “Go to sleep, Taehyung-ah. I love you too.”

And that will always be true. Despite the hell he has been through, one thing made it worth it — his love for Taehyung.

Not Taehyung’s love for him.

“You’ll be here in the morning will you?” The younger’s voice dropping into a whisper. He was glad, Namjoon had finally chosen to stay. Namjoon still loves him, and he won’t mess this up again. “We’re going to unpack your stuff in the morning and start anew. I’m never going to fuck up again.”

Namjoon only hummed, his face tilting downward to the side as he placed a fleeting kiss on the younger’s forehead. “Go to sleep, my love. Close your eyes.”

And the tiredness was getting too overwhelming, so he listened to his hyung’s voice. Closing his eyes, he whispered one last time. “I love you, my angel, thank you for giving me one more chance.”

But the older boy could only let a tear slip from the corner of his eyes, because I’m sorry Taehyung-ah, hyung’s no angel.

For Namjoon stayed awake for another two hours, until the sun had finally risen. He could see the bright rays that passed through their window sill, and that was when he knew.

His time was up.

With careful movements, Namjoon replaced his body underneath Taehyung’s viper hold with a series of pillows. He hoped that Taehyung wouldn’t notice, and maybe god was finally on his side, or maybe Taehyung was just too drunk and tired, because he didn’t move at all.

Namjoon made his way to his suitcases, three bags in total. Two big ones and one small one. All his clothes, all his stuff, and all his memories that he still wanted to keep were wrapped in three Gucci bags just like that.

Funnily, he wish he could wrap Taehyung in a bag too.

For despite all the pain he had gone through in this relationship, Taehyung was still the best thing about it all, because Taehyung was both the best and worst thing throughout it all.

With slow and silent movements, Namjoon wheeled his bags outside of their bedroom door. Casting one last look at the sleeping figure, he debated on dropping a kiss unto his lips one last time. But he figured that it might wake him up, so he simply shook his head, shredding one last tear and mumbling, ‘Goodbye Taehyung-ah. Thank you for everything, I hope you’ll be okay.’

Then the door shut, and then he was gone.

He left.

Exactly six hours later, a little past noon, Taehyung would open his eyes, expecting to feel a warm body pressed up against him. He grumbled as he slowly eased himself into full consciousness, “Joonie?”

When he didn’t feel the warmth he was looking for, Taehyung opened his eyes in panic. Soon he realized he was alone in bed, his eyes darting where the suitcases had been and finding them nowhere.

“No, no, no!” Taehyung whimpered as he scrambled into his feet, looking through their closet and only finding his clothes. He sobbed as he ran to the kitchen, in hopes that maybe Namjoon was just preparing breakfast, or lunch, or anything. But he wasn’t.

His mouth dropped to the floor as tears flowed past his cheeks. He could only run back to their his bedroom, searching for his phone in hopes to call Namjoon and beg him to come home, only to find that he was already blocked. He could only lie aimlessly on the bed, sobbing against the worn out sheets.

He left me, he really did.

A voice scoffed in his head, sounding like his inner demons. Of course he did, and you deserve it.

For once, Taehyung couldn’t silence it.

The pain was unbearable. Was this how Namjoon felt everytime Taehyung came home with someone else’s scent all over his skin? How he could be so cruel to the man he claimed to love if he had put him through this much pain?

Why did Taehyung even let it reach this point?

Truth be told, Taehyung could never even give a definitive answer as to why he did what he had done to Namjoon over and over again. Was it an addiction? Something that was rooted in his inner demons and insecurities? Or was he just a naturally shitty person?

Taehyung didn’t know.

All he knew was that he deserved this pain, because he had put Namjoon through this pain for more than two years.

How was his angel so strong?

It was from that moment on that Taehyung swore he would find out the reason. Not for him, but for Namjoon. He owed him as much. He would find out why he came to be this kind of horrible, vindictive, and manipulative asshole that he is right now. 

How did he become a demon for his pure and beautiful angel?

But for now, he filed that thought for another day. This morning, he simply wanted to mourn a love that he had lost, a man that he had ruined. He wanted to simply to cry until his tears ran out, until he could finally breathe from the painful stabbing in his heart. He wanted to simply cry over the man he had foolishly driven away as if his tears was enough to be his penance.

He just wanted to cry until Namjoon came back.

Lost.

Gone.

Empty.

Goodbye.

Come back.

I’m sorry.

My angel.

Taehyung didn’t leave the room for three days straight.

-

-

-

The next time Taehyung saw Namjoon was three years after he left.

Taehyung had been single ever since, refusing to enter relationships he knew he couldn’t healthily maintain. Especially when he was still not ready, still not okay.

Still haven’t moved on.

Apparently it was a mixture of a lot of things. Seeing his own father cheat with his mother, underlying mental disorders that he was now taking medicine for, along with regular sessions with his therapists. Taehyung was slowly but surely, stepping forward. And hopefully, it was in the right direction.

One late Thursday afternoon by the riverside where Taehyung regularly goes for a walk to clear his mind from dark thoughts, something happened. His usual path was a little crowded today, something about a field trip, so he opted to take a detour on the other side of the river, and that’s when Taehyung saw his soulmate… if he could still call him that.

Especially when he was comfortably wrapped in the arms of another man.

They were both holding ice cream cones, perfect for the spring breeze as they sat on a bench just about fifty meters away from Taehyung’s view. Stupidly, the boy found himself hiding behind a gigantic tree as he looked at him — at them.

A series of thoughts ran through Taehyung’s head as he saw Namjoon again after three years of misery.

Taehyung’s first thought: Namjoon’s nose was so red from the chilly breeze. And it was still as adorable as ever.

His second thought: Namjoon still looked so beautiful, and he looked even more radiant now that he was finally happy.

He saw the love of his life giggle at his partner’s pout when he tried to take a lick from Namjoon’s own cold treat, and Namjoon pulled it away. But like always, Namjoon was weak for the people he loved. One look at those deer-like eyes, and Namjoon had quickly relented.

Not that Namjoon hated it, especially when he was rewarded with the brightest smile and the sweetest kiss to his left dimple with a cheery, ‘Hyung I love you.’

Namjoon had simply giggled, beyond delighted as the younger man squeezed him tighter in his muscular arms. Taehyung hadn’t noticed how a lone tear slipped from his own eyes, but he made no effort to wipe it away.

Taehyung’s third thought was this: He had missed Namjoon’s dimples so much.

For even when they were still together, Taehyung had failed to bring out those dimples for quite a long time. He had failed to make Namjoon happy.

The lovely couple basked in each other’s arms, simply enjoying the view of the setting sun by the riverside as they chatted. And yes the sunset was beautiful, but for Taehyung, it was still incomparable to Namjoon’s angelic beauty.

Taehyung’s fourth thought was simple: Namjoon had flourished well away from him.

It was a hard pill to swallow, but anyone with a set of eyes, hell even the blind can see how well leaving him had done for Namjoon. Gone were the bags under his eyes, the permanent frown on his lips, and even the scrunch in his eyebrows. It was replaced by eyes crinkling from happiness, lips permanently set with a smile that showcased his deep dimples, and a face naturally relaxed now that he no longer had Taehyung as his primary stressor.

When they were finally done with their sweet treats, the younger boy had stood up first before pressing a kiss to Namjoon’s full lips, pulling the older into his arms as they stood up. And even from where he stood, Taehyung could see the smile on Namjoon’s lips as he pressed his mouth against the younger boy’s own smile.

God he missed that smile.

Finally they left, leaving Taehyung behind as a silently weeping mess behind this big tree. Their backs turned towards him as they walked away hand in hand. 

Finally, Taehyung’s last thought was this: He will always, always love Kim Namjoon.

It just so happens that he wasn’t able to treat him the way he deserved, and he was unable to make him happy. But seeing him again today made Taehyung realize that nothing has changed, his heart still beats for one dimpled man alone.

And it was okay. As long as Namjoon was happy.

Even if it wasn’t Taehyung who could bring out those dimples again, then so be it. If anyone in this Earth deserves joy and all the love the world has to offer, then it was Namjoon himself. 

Taehyung was finally at peace. It was gonna be okay.

As long as the man he loved, still loves, and will always love, was finally, finally happy .

Chapter Text

It was only supposed to be a joke.

But it definitely rubbed Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook the wrong way.

Being the sole omega in the pack, Namjoon was very much used to being babied by literally everyone. The three youngest ones were the alphas of their pack, while the rest of their hyungs were all betas. And they were all definitely no stranger to showing their affection to the lone omega and their unofficial leader. Not that Namjoon would complain, he adored being loved.

So it came as a surprise to them, when one day, the three young ones were hanging out by the living room. They were all watching some corny kdrama show that had a plot that’s probably been recycled for how many times now. Just on time, Namjoon came in with Yoongi, after a long day of work.

“Hyung!” Jimin calls from the sofa, immediately running to both Namjoon and Yoongi for a welcome kiss on their lips. “Welcome home.”

The two other alphas follow suit, exchanging hugs and kisses between Namjoon and Yoongi as a welcome. Their two hyungs worked as nurses in a nearby hospital, so they usually came home together. The three kids were still in college, Jimin and Taehyung graduating this year, while Seokjin and Hoseok worked as a baker and a barista, respectively, at their co-owned small café. Life was pretty decent for the pack, sure they encountered a few hardships along the way, but financially speaking, they were very much stable.

So it came as a complete surprise to everyone when Yoongi came home with a gigantic smirk on his face. “You guys won’t believe this!”

The youngest alpha’s interest was immediately piqued. “What’s up, hyung?”

With a groan, Namjoon tried to stop his hyung from talking, reaching out to slap a hand over Yoongi’s mouth. “Hyung n—”

But Yoongi was quicker and much more docile. He managed to duck quickly before Namjoon could attack him. “Namjoon has a sugar daddy!”

All three alphas freeze on their spot.

“What?” Taehyung almost growled.

“It’s true!” Yoongi laughed, now struggling from Namjoon’s large frame who was trying to wrestle him. “It’s a doctor, and he left Joonie a big gift today!”

The alphas didn’t know exactly what to feel. First and foremost, who was this doctor that was trying to woo their omega? Is this something they have to worry about? But then again, if it wasn’t anything serious, then Yoongi shouldn’t be laughing about it, right?

“Hyung!” Namjoon was maddeningly red. “Don’t listen to him guys!”

“Really Joonie?” Yoongi smirked as he managed to pin Namjoon’s hands on his side. “Then why not show our alphas the bracelet he left you today?”

Jimin couldn’t help but clench his jaw. The last time he checked, it was pretty obvious that Namjoon wasn’t single and packless, so why was there someone else who was trying to send him courting gifts?

“I don’t understand,” Taehyung’s eyebrows scrunched together in unease. “Who is he, and why is he giving you a gift like that?”

Recognizing the bitter tone of the alphas, Namjoon immediately stopped struggling against Yoongi’s hold. Damn his hyung, now his babies were all upset. But then again, he knew better than to lie to his mates.

“He’s just some doctor,” Namjoon tried to shrug dismissively. “Not anyone important.”

However, Yoongi seemingly chose this day to be the biggest shit in existence. “Yeah right,” He snorted. “No one important as if he didn’t just give you a Cartier bracelet worth two months of our salary, combined , Namjoon-ah.”

At the words Yoongi had just slapped on their face, all three alphas’ jaws ticked dangerously.

“Is he an alpha?” Jungkook asks, unknowingly posturing even if the threat wasn’t here.

“Uhm,” Namjoon averted his eyes from the three. “Yes.”

An alpha? Taehyung growled inwardly. So the asshole was indeed trying to steal their mate and only omega. How fucking dare he?

Sensing the underlying tension in the air, Yoongi finally relents. Stepping up like the true hyung he was, he managed to pat Jungkook and Jimin on their backs. “Hey, hey, we’re just kidding, okay? I’m just making fun of Joon.”

All three alphas scoffed simultaneously.

“Yeah?” Taehyung couldn’t help but roll his eyes, feeling the bitter vines of jealousy planting it seeds in his veins right now. Not that Jimin and Jungkook weren’t the same. “Where’s the bracelet then, hyung?”

He wasn’t exactly sure what he was trying to achieve, but he feels like the moment he sees the bracelet, he'd finally have an actual confirmation that someone was indeed courting their hyung. However, nothing could have prepared him for this.

Lo and behold, the bracelet was right fucking there.

Already on Namjoon’s goddamn wrist.

“Before you say anything,” Namjoon gulped as his wrist received three ferocious glares from three different alphas. “I only wore it because I was sure I was going to misplace it. I was going to take it off before anyone of you saw it.” He bites his lip in nervousness. “But Yoongi hyung made a fuss.”

“Hey!” Yoongi squawked, before he faced their three alphas. “Hey guys, calm down. We’re just joking around. Namjoon had already reminded the doctor that he was indeed mated with his pack. It’s nothing serious.”

Namjoon nodded in agreement. “Yes, yes, I swear.”

“Besides,” Yoongi tried to make light of the situation, seeing as the three alphas’ glares refused to falter. “It’s not as if, you know,”

Jimin and Jungkook raised their brow at their hyung, eyes never straying from Namjoon’s wrist as Taehyung held Namjoon’s gaze.

“It’s not as if Namjoon’s going to leave us for some rich ass alpha doctor or something.”

It was quiet.

Everyone knows it was supposed to be a mere joke, except, it definitely fell flat.

And Namjoon probably made the wrong choice of trying to salvage the joke. “Yeah,” he forcefully laughed as his eyes worriedly glanced at the clenched jaws of his alphas. “It’s not as if I’m going to pack my bags and leave my mates over a sugar daddy. We’re cool, guys, I swear.”

And yet not a single one of the alphas were in any way amused.

They know, logically, that Namjoon was kind, and that Namjoon would never do that to them. But the thing was, it made them feel insecure. Here was another alpha, a doctor at that, making three young alphas cower over his power and riches all by himself. It’s a sickening feeling. Technically, they know it was a joke, but it still hurts .

Jungkook couldn’t help but bite down his tears, the anger and bitterness battling in his heart. No one could blame him though. As an alpha, his nature was to provide and support his pack and omega. And yet he was the youngest, still in second year of university, and all he had was a part time job at the gym. He was bound to feel not just jealous, but genuinely apprehensive. He wanted to do and give so much more, but his young age can’t do much anyways. At least, not anything against an alpha doctor that was obviously loaded.

Not far from that feeling, Taehyung couldn’t help but bite the inside of his cheeks as he squinted his eyes. As a fashion design major, Taehyung had an eye for designer brands and he knew that the cuff on Namjoon’s wrist was downright expensive. And this was only the first gift. The worst part is that Taehyung indeed had a list of things he would someday buy not just for his omega, but also for his entire pack. A mini book of designer items such as shoes, bags, jackets, and jewelry he promised he would someday purchase for the people he loved the most.

And this bracelet just happened to be one of them.

If there was also one thing Jimin hated the most, is people making him feel as if he was little to nothing. Now, he was assured with Namjoon — he trusted his omega with all his heart. But being an alpha that was not conventional in size and demeanour, especially when he also had a habit of wearing skirts and stockings, Jimin was always, always made to feel as if he wasn’t alpha enough. Thankfully, with the help of his pack, they made him understand that he was the perfect alpha for them. Slowly but surely, he’s on the path of fully accepting himself. But moments like these make him question himself. Am I really an alpha enough to provide for an omega as wonderful as my Namjoon hyung? It made him feel perturbed, in a sense. This was his omega that was supposed to be receiving gifts from him, or them, not someone else from the outside. It fucking hurt.

As the three alphas glared down at Namjoon’s wrist, even when Namjoon was finally removing it, all of their heads only held one single thought.

They were scared .

Terrified even. For if it all came down to a face to face show off, literally, all Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook had was their faces. The other nameless alpha doctor had money, stability, the ability to provide, and by the looks of it, even indulge.

And they — they can’t compete against that.

Perhaps that’s why they could only glare and scowl at the evidence of another alpha trying to steal their Namjoon away.

Because it’s through their anger and jealousy, that they are able to hide how they truly feel — absolutely crestfallen, and indisputably petrified.

Namjoon wasn’t stupid. He noticed the game of tug-of-war his three alphas were playing.

It’s been a week since he brought home that godforsaken bracelet. Even when Hoseok and Seokjin came home, the two only laughed, even encouraging Namjoon to see what more this alpha doctor could get him. If perhaps he could even snag Seokjin, one of the designer bags he was constantly eyeing, or get Hoseok those new edition shoes he so badly wanted. All of these were in good nature though, as Namjoon playfully punched their forearms for even thinking of such a vile plan.

But what he didn’t miss was how all three alphas’ fists clenched under the dinner table.

He will admit, he got more gifts. Two more to be exact. The second one was less grander than the first, probably because the first one was like the grand announcement. Make no mistake, though, right from when Namjoon had received the bracelet, he already rejected the doctor. He made it clear that he was mated, and very much happy with his own alphas and pack. But still, the doctor was persistent. The alpha was undeniably rich, even if he was just ten years Namjoon’s senior, and he mentioned that he found great joy in giving Namjoon things that reminded him of the omega. So he said that even if Namjoon had no interest in him, he would still send him gifts. At first, Namjoon was hesitant, he didn’t want to take advantage of the alpha’s wealth and kindness. But the alpha was also very kind and understanding to Namjoon, and this was the only personal favor he ever asked from the omega, so Namjoon didn’t have the heart to say no.

But it doesn’t mean that he missed the way Taehyung scowled, Jimin glared, and Jungkook’s jaw clenched when he brought home, next, a new pair of designer heels, and lastly, the art book he always wanted, but found too expensive to buy.

So now, they were stuck in this game. A game of tug-of-war between Namjoon and his three alphas. The three younger ones were either pulling Namjoon close to them, scenting them so much he basically reeked of them, or stayed far away from him with a distant and fallen look on their eyes.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew what was happening.

The alphas were torn. Their instinct were telling them to keep their omega — their mate — close and to show everyone who and where he belongs to. But at the same time, the Jimin, the Taehyung, and the Jungkook side of their minds was feeling dejected. They were uncertain, a little scared, and, are they surrendering? Namjoon knows that they were still young, but he hopes that they wouldn’t simply give him up that easily, just because someone gave him some jewelry were thousands of dollars.

Enough is enough, though. As the sole omega of the pack, he was their primary voice of reason. And when he came home alone to the three alphas lounging in their living room, barely even greeting him before they got up and tried to leave Namjoon’s presence, the omega knew he had to put his foot down.

“Guys.” Namjoon’s tone left no room for discussion. He might be the omega, but there was no denying that the alphas knew who was in-charge right now. “We need to talk.”

All three of them gulped, but decided not to rebuke their hyung’s decision.

Communication. Taehyung repeated in his head as he levelled his breathing. Seokjin and Hoseok hyung said that as a pack, we have to communicate well if we want to last long.

So with a heavy exhale, all three alphas sat on one couch, as Namjoon took a seat from the sofa opposite them. He honestly felt like a principal meeting with three students right now with how they are positioned.

“Alphas,” Namjoon tried to tug on their inner wolves immediately. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

All three alphas took a deep breath, their eyes stoic as they sat stiffly on the couch, averting their eyes from their omega hyung.

“Tell us, Namjoon hyung,” So Jimin, as the eldest, was seemingly taking the lead as he braves the stare off with his hyung. “Are you thinking about going with that alpha doctor?”

Namjoon immediately backtracks. “What? No!”

“It’s okay you know, we’ll understand.” Taehyung soon interjected, shrugging as if his heart wasn’t breaking with every word he uttered. “We know we’re not good enough, we know we’re not as rich as him—”

“What the hell!” Namjoon cut him off abruptly, as his voice almost yelled. He had to take several breaths to remind himself to keep fucking calm. “Where the hell is this coming from?”

Jungkook shrugs, his eyes nonchalant. He was trying to save as much of his pride as he can, but also because he refused to make his hyung feel guilty, if he indeeds chooses to leave them. “A single alpha has proven to be much more capable of providing for you than all three of us combined.” He gulps as he stares at his hyung’s wide and baffled eyes. “It’s cool, we get it.”

“Get what?” Namjoon spat unkindly.

All three of them clenched their jaws. This was proving harder than they thought. They have talked about in all honesty, coming to the decision that if Namjoon indeed wanted to leave them, then they'll let him go, no matter how hard it’s going to be. They only want the best for their hyung, and they love him too much to be selfish.

If Namjoon’s happiness came with the price of their own heartbreak, then so be it.

“Get that you could find someone much better than us.” Jimin stated as if he was making any sense. Namjoon could only gawk at them, as he gripped the armrest of his seat so tightly. “And it’s fine, because if anyone deserved the best in this world, then that’s you, hyung.”

“Jimin-ah—” Namjoon shook his head, feeling tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.

But Jimin only proceeds. “Even if the best wasn’t with us, then we’ll manage.” His voice cracks slightly. No matter how selfless his words are, he can’t even bear the thought of losing his hyung. He selfishly wishes that he’ll never get to find out just how horrible that feels. “What matters is that you’re happy.”

Namjoon stares at them so sorrowfully. His heart was breaking in all the wrong places, and it’s not for the reason these three so badly wanted to believe.

“Stop this, all three of you.” Namjoon gasped out as his lip quivers, a tear finally slipping out. “Do you honestly think so low of me?”

“Hyung, we see it okay?” Taehyung says defensively, as if the enemy was Namjoon. “We’re not good enough as your alphas and we see it as bright as day.”

Unable to control himself anymore, Namjoon stands up to his full height. He was never one to lose his patience or yell at anyone, but his voice might just be a few decibels higher than he intended. “And who are you to judge that?” He points accusingly at Taehyung. “Who are you to judge what I deserve, or what I think I deserve?”

To his surprise, Taehyung doesn’t stand down as he himself rises from his seat. “We can see it—”

“No you fucking don’t,” But Namjoon doesn’t even bother giving him a chance. If their hyungs were here, they’d probably get scolded for talking like this with another. But they’re not, and Namjoon could care less. “All three of you arrived at this conclusion, all because of a fucking bracelet that I’m a hundred percent sure I don’t even know where I placed anymore.” The tears were now finally free falling down Namjoon’s cheeks, from both his anger and his broken heart. “Do you honestly think I’m that shallow? To leave my family for something as mundane as fucking money? Money that I can make and provide for my own?”

Jungkook rises too, followed by Jimin exactly a heartbeat later. “Hyung, listen—”

“No shut up, Jungkook.” Namjoon was never one to be this emotional. But he can’t, god he can’t fucking believe this. He was hurt beyond words, and never did he ever think that this kind of pain would be brought by the alphas he loved the most. “I started this pack with Yoongi hyung and Hoseok hyung seven years ago, and you all came along in the next two years after that. I have spent more than five years loving all six of you, and now tell me,” His breath hitches as his voice falters, it quiets down to a shaky and terrified exhale that has the alphas’ lips quivering. “Where did I ever lack in showing you how much I loved all three of you, huh?”

Taehyung shakes his head immediately, “Hyung, it’s not you, okay?” He tries to explain. “It’s us.”

Namjoon laughs, unkindly. “Don’t hit me with that cliché bullshit, Taehyung-ah,” Did Taehyung honestly think they were in the midst of a shitty drama for him to pull those pathetic lines? “Tell me, where the fuck did I ever show any of you, that once I get the chance to bag someone richer, is that I’ll walk out our door without even looking back at the people I’ve mated with for life ?”

The three alphas falter at that. They are beginning to see how this situation seemed like to their omega. Through their jealous and bitter haze, they had unknowingly hurt the one person they swore they only thought of his happiness. Neither of them could say a single word.

“Exactly.” Namjoon breathes out as a fresh wave of tears fall.

Of fucking course. Of course Namjoon would never ever do that to them. He has proven time and time again that he loved his pack — that he loved his alphas. How dare Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook even question that unconditional love Namjoon has given them for the past five years?

“Hyung, we’re sorry, we didn’t think about it that way.” The same way Jimin was the first to speak up, he was also the first one who apologized. “We were jealous and insecure, and it was more than just an alpha courting you. It’s someone better than us, someone who we felt like that deserved you more.”

“You’re so wrong, Jimin-ah, so fucking wrong.” Namjoon shakes his head as he finds it difficult to breathe, his body wrecking with silent sobs. “Because if there was one thing I’ve learnt in being a pack, is that each and every single one of us is not good enough.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “No hyung, it’s not—”

“No, it is.” Namjoon cuts him off abruptly. Before he grabs the armrest again to steady his shaky knees. God this was fucking intense. “Being in a pack has taught me — us — that yes each of us deserves better, but instead of finding it someplace else, we strive to become better as a person, until we can finally say that we deserve one another.”

All three alphas could only look at him remorsefully. They hadn’t thought twice about their words and actions, they didn’t realize how much their jealous and bitter thoughts could hurt their omega more than themselves. 

“And you, my alphas,” Namjoon spits out the title with distaste, and all three of them flinch. “You already gave up on me before you even tried.”

Because that was the truth wasn’t it? They didn’t see Namjoon as someone worth the fight. They were so focused on belittling themselves when they should have realized that their omega was always rooting for them, always trusting them, and had always loved them.

“That’s not what we intended to do, Hyung,” Taehyung slowly inches towards the omega, wanting to comfort him even if they were the cause of his tears. The three alphas’ eyes were also starting to fill up. “We’re so sorry.”

“Am I not worth it?” Gone was the aggravated omega. All that was left was a hurt and broken one that was now doubting if his alphas loved him enough. “Am I someone for all of you to simply give up on, just because you didn’t think you were good enough? When in my eyes, you were all that I ever needed and loved more than I could ever imagine?”

Jungkook flinches as the truth slaps them on the face. His tears were the first to fall out of the three. “Hyung, fuck, we’re so sorry.”

But Namjoon was still kind, and still rational enough. “If you have insecurities, you talk to me. Just like how I’m talking to you right now.” He stares at them one by one, noticing that now, all four of them are breaking down. “You just don’t make the decision to give me away.”

Taehyung’s heart breaks at the meaning behind Namjoon’s words. Goodness, they were truly pathetic alphas if they made their omega even feel this way. “We didn’t mean to, hyungie, god we’re horrible and we’re so sorry.”

Namjoon shrinks on himself when Taehyung tries to touch him. He wraps his arms in protection against his very own alphas, and all three of their hearts break at that. “You have to understand. That the only alphas I have ever loved and will ever love like this, are the three of you.” The three all look down in shame, horrified and absolutely disgusted at themselves for even doubting an inch of Namjoon’s love. “I thought that our years together has somehow proven that — that I love you three unconditionally regardless of what gifts you could buy me.” Namjoon roughly wipes his tears with the back of his palms. “I guess I was wrong.”

“No hyung, in all our years as mates and a pack,” Jungkook makes his way to his hyung, ready to cradle him. But he retreats when Namjoon whimpers. “You’ve done nothing but love us, and take care of us. We should have not made this into a big deal especially when the hyungs didn’t.”

“No i-it’s fine,” Namjoon stutters out as he tries a pathetic attempt of a self depreciating giggle. “At least now I know how you three truly felt. At least now I understand that all three of you aren’t secure enough in the love I have given you.”

As an omega, it fucking hurt. To know that his alphas weren’t assured with the love he thought was more than enough. It broke his heart into pieces knowing that he wasn’t enough. That they didn’t love them enough too.

“Hyung, please, that’s not true.” Jimin shoots his shot and approaches the distressed omega, but he only gets rejected all the same. “If there was one thing we held on for the past week, it’s the fact that we knew you weren’t ever going to do that to us. That you’re not that evil to actually hurt us like that.”

If that’s the case, “Then why?” Namjoon did not understand them at all. “Why did you make me feel like I was just someone not worth fighting for? Someone who didn’t love you enough to fight for you and our pack?”

Because that’s what it all boiled down to — trust and security. Something Namjoon doesn’t think his alphas see in him, unfortunately.

“Hyung-nim,” Jungkook chokes back a sob. To see his omega this upset, all because of him was making his insides claw with sadness and anger. He felt pathetic. “We would fight for you — for this pack — until our very last breath. I mean that with my entire soul.”

“We were insecure and unjustly upset.” Jimin honestly says, as he raises his palms and tries cupping his hyung’s face. Finally, Namjoon allows them that single contact. “We were going against this alpha that had everything we didn’t. And it hurt us because you are our omega, and it should be us doing these things for you. Not someone else.”

“It’s true.” Taehyung nodded as he gently cupped Namjoon’s other cheek. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Jungkook hold their omega’s hand. “We want to give you so much, hyung, all of you. But what do we have? Nothing. Nothing that that alpha doesn’t have and cannot give. We have nothing against him.”

But Namjoon shakes his head decisively, and his tears fall once again. “You have me.” He spoke softly but affirmatively. “You’ll always have me.” He spoke with much more volume and conviction as he stared at each and every single one of his alpha’s eyes. “One thing that he or anyone else can never have and can ever take away from you, is me. I’m never going to leave you.”

For the three little alphas, that was when the dam finally breaks.

“Please hyung,” Jungkook wraps his arms around Namjoon’s torso so tightly as he dowright sobs. As if he was the one hurt and needed comfort. “Please never leave us. We won’t know what we’ll do if you left us.”

“I won’t make it, hyung,” Taehyung hugs him from behind as he buries himself on Namjoon’s hair, body shaking from his cries. His omega was here, he’ll never leave them. “We can’t, hyung, I can’t, I, I—”

Jimin latches onto Namjoon’s other side as he buries his sobbing self on Namjoon’s left chest. “It’s something we’ll never, ever heal from, Joonie hyung.” He then looks up to his omega desperately. “Please don’t, hyungie, please promise me you’ll never leave me, us, or this pack. Please.”

Recognizing the devastated and desperate tone his alphas’ tones held, Namjoon softens. He leans back on their embrace as he tries to calm himself in their arms. He needed this — them — too.

“I’m here,” Namjoon promises with his entire mind, body, and goddamn soul. “And please never leave me too. Hyung loves his alphas so fucking much. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

He feels all three of them nod as their grip on his body tightens. Before this horrendous fiasco, all three of them had arrived at an agreement, they will have Namjoon for as long as Namjoon will have them. They won’t ever be the ones to let go or leave him, it will be up to Namjoon’s decision when he’ll choose to finally leave them.

Which was never going to happen. 

“We’re so sorry, hyung,” Taehyung would beg if he needed to. “Please forgive us.”

But Namjoon was an honest man. He knows that he can’t simply forgive and forget this in just one blink of an eye. “You’ll have to work for that, Taehyung-ah,” But then he adds jokingly, or not, “Maybe with make-up cuddles and a thousand kisses.”

Neither one of them laughs, all nodding as they maneuver the omega to the big couch and sit him down there. Jimin kisses his cheek as he sits on his lap, then his forehead, and then the corner of his mouth in apology. Taehyung and Jungkook sit on each of his sides. “We’ll give you a thousand kisses each if it means you’ll forgive us.” They’d probably give up their lives for Namjoon without a single question. The same way they knew Namjoon would do it for them. “And we’re so sorry, hyung, we promise to work on these thoughts and feelings of ours. It’s damaging and childish.”

“As a pack.” Namjoon added. From now on, he refuses for these younger ones to work on these dark thoughts all alone. “We’ll work on it as a pack the same way we all help each other with our issues and insecurities.” Namjoon has to remind himself that these alphas were still very young. Although they were no longer kids, they were still young enough to have such insecurities that someone older and much more successful than them could make them feel. “And I’m sorry too. He was just really adamant on giving me gifts, but I’ll tell him to stop from now on.”

“No it’s fine.” Taehyung says decisively. If their older hyungs could respect and trust Namjoon, then they could do it too. “As long as he knows his place, then whatever he gives you is between you and him.” He places his own sets of kisses on Namjoon’s temple. “I know you’ll never leave me, us.”

Despite the fact that it was the alphas holding on to him right now, his omega was also scared. Terrified of something that he cannot explain. “And you’ll never leave me too?”

“Never hyung,” Jungkook swears as he kisses Namjoon’s plush and reddened pout that tasted salty with both their tears. “You’re stuck with us three alphas for the rest of your life. You’re forever going to be in the middle of our sticky cuddles even until we’re eighty.”

“Then that’s all I ask,” He basks in their hold for now. They need this, they need to be calm and to simply feel one another. “For I intend to love you all every single day, for the rest of my life.”

He knows that for now, things are not yet still a hundred percent fixed. There are still wounds and cracks in the words they threw on each other’s hearts that needed to be healed. It will take some time, and a lot of effort from both of their sides, but all four of them refuse for this to be the reason why they lose each other. These may be deeply rooted in each in their own insecurities, but that’s fine. As a pack, they’ll help one another, and they’ll shower each other with so much love they almost suffocate.

Namjoon knows that for now, nothing is truly okay. But he also knows that things will soon be. Just not right now. They’ll get through this, as long as they face it together. No more running, no more hiding. They were going to face this as a pack — as each other’s soulmates.

As long as Namjoon has his three alphas, and Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook had their omega, they have full faith that tomorrow is going to be a brighter day. 

Just not today, but definitely, someday .

Chapter Text

Pining after your own husband is difficult.

They could both blame it on being busy. They could even claim that they were just both too focused on leading their kingdom to be bothered by something as mundane as love . It’s not as if it mattered anyways, they were married. In the eyes of their people and society, they were a happy couple, and as long they maintained that, then they could focus on whatever they wanted as much as they wanted. They could even blame it on the lack of time. As if they don’t both have breakfast, lunch, and dinner with each other every single day, just talking about their day and other temporal things. As if they both don’t sleep at exactly eleven in the evening, holding each other tight in their arms. They could both blame it on thousands of excuses. But at the end of the day, there is one only one truth that floats above all the other guises.

They were both scared.

As the alpha and omega king of the Kingdom of Gidae, Hoseok and Namjoon had to be careful. Their union was permanent. There was absolutely no getting out of it anymore for the rest of their lives. As a young alpha prince, it has been written in Hoseok’s fate ever since to marry the omega prince of the Kingdom of Arem. This was to further strengthen the alliance between the two kingdoms. So when he descended to the throne of kinghood, Hoseok had indeed married his now omega king, Namjoon.

From the very beginning, both parties made it clear — this was only going to be a marriage of convenience. This has been a long ongoing practice by nobles from every kingdom. In order to prevent fallouts in their unions, the wedded couple would prefer to keep things between them platonic. In that way, no hearts will get broken, no resentment against each other shall bubble, and everyone is just happy until the day they die.

Except, Hoseok is not happy anymore.

When someone is mated, the only person that could touch them during their heats and ruts is their mate. Sure they could hook up with other people outside of it, but if they wanted to pop a knot and to get popped by a knot on their heats or ruts, then the only person that could give that to them was their mates. So for a total eight times each year, four heats from Namjoon, and four ruts from Hoseok, they get to play pretend that they were true mates, and perhaps, truly in love.

His mind is just ridden with too much pleasure. Namjoon reminds himself, since Hosoek has adapted a new habit lately. A new habit that has affected him greatly in a way that he can’t come anymore unless Hoseok whispers it against his ear just in time for him to pop his knot in.

‘My omega, just mine. The prettiest omega in the world is my mate. Mine. Mine. Mine.’

Namjoon thought he just had a possessive kink. But soon he would realize that beyond that, what he truly wanted was just to be Hoseok’s, and Hoseok’s alone. To have the strongest, most intelligent, and most powerful alpha in the nation. He didn’t just want someone to want him, he wanted Hoseok to want him.

So it became a hurtful game between the two of them.

For three days almost every one and half month, Namjoon and Hoseok played the role of a dutiful and loving mate. Except none of them was pretending. Except they wanted this to be real so fucking badly it was starting to hurt.

“Ah Joon,” Hoseok groaned as he buried himself in the omega’s neck, lightly nosing on his skin that’s glistening with sweat. “You’re so tight, god you feel so good.”

And Namjoon, Namjoon could only encircle his arms around the alpha’s neck, his mind still clouded with pleasure from being filled. It’s too much, and it’s too good. He wanted more.

“Alpha,” The omega whimpered. Kissing the alpha’s cheeks as Hoseok holds him tight. “Your knot feels amazing.”

The alpha fills with pride at that, not just because he made an omega happy, but because he made Namjoon happy.

Lately though things have gotten much more uncontrollable. Now Hoseok doesn’t just make his omega purr with his words of wanting him, Hoseok also makes him giddy with words of wanting to breed him. So now Namjoon thinks he doesn’t only have a possessive kink, but it looks like he also had a breeding kink too.

“Wanna fuck you full of my pups, Namjoon-ah. ” The alpha king’s thrusts get faster and harder. “You’d look so pretty, my king. All full of my babies.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon groans out. It came to a point when Namjoon would come the hardest when Hoseok began whispering these dirty promises to his ear. “Fuck a baby in me, alpha.”

“Fuck, Joon-ah.” Hoseok groaned so deliriously, seeming to be equally out of it just like the omega, but still somehow in control of his jumble of words. “Alpha’s gonna take good care of you and our babies. Mine. Mine. My mate and my pups.”

Yeah, it only takes exactly five more thrusts before Namjoon comes.

He knows he’d have to produce an heir soon. But Namjoon has made it clear that he still isn’t ready, and Hoseok has respected that. There’s no rush anyway, they were both still young. But the truth was, Namjoon was waiting for something. He wanted to produce his first pup out of love, or at least, not out of heat or rut ridden empty promises. So yeah, maybe he is waiting for nothing .

But still Namjoon is patient, still he yearns.

When his knot is finally in place, Hoseok looks down at Namjoon, and it’s in moments like these where he is still left quite awestruck from the omega’s beauty, despite doing this for the past two and a half years now. Namjoon was just so breathtaking, especially when he was fucked out like this. Lips red, cheeks flushed, skin glistening, and eyes blown wide. He was truly the most gorgeous omega Hoseok has ever had the pleasure of having.

And god did he want to have him forever.

And that’s the good thing, wasn’t it? He will have him forever. That’s the rules they have to abide by. But he wanted more than this. Wanted more than kisses in heat or scenting during ruts. He wants to be able to wake Namjoon up with kisses every morning, watching Namjoon’s soft eyes open, to kiss his flushed cheeks that was still puffy from sleep but still so goddamn adorable. He made Hoseok’s heart so gooey it should be embarrassing. But it isn’t.

Because loving Namjoon is never something Hoseok will ever be embarrassed of.

Loving Namjoon was a privilege. A privilege that Hoseok wasn’t sure that he had despite him being Namjoon’s husband. There was just too much at risk. What if he and Namjoon don't work out in the end? What if they both end up hurting each other someday? What if it all ends badly? Hoseok doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life tied down to someone he hated, or worse, loving someone who hated him .

So he just lets it be. He lets it hurt. Even though it makes his chest physically ache. Hoseok just lets it be, because that’s what’s right. And as the alpha king of his kingdom, he had to do what was right.

But sometimes doing the right thing just hurts so bad, especially when the right thing involved watching your husband dance and laugh with another alpha in his arms.

There’s always some ball they are hosting, or a party they are invited to. As the kings of the Gidae, they both had to maintain appearances. A part of that was always attending these stupid balls, when all Hoseok wanted to do was wrap Namjoon in his arms, hidden away from all these alphas that didn’t even bother to hide the want in their eyes every time they looked at their omega king — at his Namjoon. Not that Hoseok could blame them, he was sure he looked at Namjoon the exact same way.

It’s just that, what? He had the right ? Yes he was Namjoon’s mate and husband, but did he genuinely have any hold over Namjoon? They’ve talked about this. Early on in their arrangement, they made it clear that both of them could take on other partners as long as they are discreet, and that their heats and ruts should only be with each other.

But here was another secret Hoseok has kept for so long — he has never taken another lover ever since he married Namjoon.

He never found the need to. They were all matchless to his omega king’s beauty anyways. All of them paled in comparison to Namjoon’s dimples alone . So he hasn’t bothered with it, he was sure none of them could even make him come the way Namjoon did. 

He just wasn’t sure if Namjoon never took another lover too. He never asked since it was not his business anymore. They have boundaries and they respect that. So now he could only watch helplessly, clutching the wine glass on his hand a little too tightly that Hoseok was impressed it didn’t break under his hold. He could only watch as Namjoon twirled and swayed while laughing brightly in another alpha’s arms. When that should be him — when that could be him.

He bursts that very same night.

Perhaps it was the alcohol, perhaps it was just his exhaustion, or perhaps it was the way Namjoon was looking at him when they entered their bedroom chambers, a little flushed but very much worried. His lips red from the wine he also drank, his cheeks soft and plump that Hoseok wanted to so badly hold and smother with kisses. Yes, they shared a room and a bed. Watching each other fall asleep, and escaping the room before the other finds out that the other has been watching them in the early hours of the morning. Mesmerized by their long lashes framing their face, or the soft puff of their lips as they light snored.

“Hoseokie?” Namjoon has finally changed into his night clothes, the same way Hoseok has. “Is there a problem, my king?”

Was there a problem indeed? It seems like there was, but Hoseok refuses to admit it yet . “Worry not, Namjoonie. I’m just a little bit tired.”

“If you say so, my love,” Oh how that endearment never failed to make Hoseok’s heart burst every time Namjoon utters it. “I was just a little worried about you.”

Maybe it’s the way Namjoon was looking at him. Oh so soft, and gentle. A look of genuine concern painted on his face that made Hoseok’s languid heart flutter.

“Have I ever told you,” The words slip out before Hosoek could even think about it. “How beautiful you are, Namjoon-ah?”

The reaction was instantaneous. “Oh, don’t be silly, Hoseokie.” The omega’s cheeks redden as he tries to hold his shy smile. “We’re no longer young pups to say such silly things.”

A wistful look gets caught in Hoseok’s eyes. “Oh to be young pups.” He knows he barely made sense, but he just couldn’t help but wonder. “Don’t you ever wish that we met when we were young pups instead, Joon-ah?”

The question was a little bit odd, especially when Hoseok was looking at him with such a look of despair that Namjoon didn’t know if he had to be worried or not.

“What?” Namjoon asks carefully. “What do you mean, Hoseokie?”

The alpha raises his right hand, caressing one side of the omega’s cheeks, feeling his warm skin underneath his fingertips. “I bet you were as pretty as you were in your mid teens, Joonie.” He lightly swipes Namjoon’s plump lips too. “Always the prettiest omega in the room.”

“Hoseok-ah, you’re making me blush.” Namjoon says shyly, not being able to do anything with how much his face reddens from Hoseok’s words. “But worry not, I think you are also the most handsome alpha I have ever known in my entire life.”

“Really?” The bitter vines of jealousy make its way into his heart before he could even stop it. “Much more handsome than the alpha you were dancing with earlier?”

That gets Namjoon to freeze under the alpha’s loving caress. “Is— is this what it is?” His eyebrows furrow as he looks at the tight frown on his husband’s face. “Hoseok he was just an old friend, he doesn’t matter—”

The alpha cuts him off abruptly. “Namjoon,” He looks serious as he gazes straight to Namjoon’s eyes. “Do you ever regret marrying me?”

Once again, the omega’s entire body stills. Unsure of where this conversation is going to go, Namjoon is very cautious. But he answers truthfully. “Of course not.”

“Really?” Hoseok tilts his head, never removing his hand from the omega’s cheeks. “Because I do, Joon-ah. I regret getting married. Like this.”

Oh wow. That hurt.

That hurt in ways Namjoon cannot explain. He knows that their marriage is a mere business deal, but never has he ever regretted mating with one of the sweetest alphas he has ever known. He was lucky, he knew that Hoseok was kind and very sweet to him. He just thought that Hoseok was somehow happy with his presence too. It hurt his omega greatly, to know that his alpha regrets having him. Because he never did, he loves it here. He loves being Hoseok’s mate and husband.

“Oh, uhm, I’m—” He barely even registered a tear falling from his own eyes, followed by another, and then more, until he was just looking down on his feet as his heart aches greatly. But Hoseok wipes it away with the pads of his own thumb, eyes lit with worry at the sad look on his omega’s face. “I-I didn’t k-know.”

“You don’t understand, Joonie.” He cuts him off again when he realizes that that sounded really wrong, and it might have hurt Namjoon’s feelings in ways Hoseok would never wish to do. “I wish I never married you like this.” He repeats and both of them cringe. Hoseok shakes his head as he tries again to properly articulate his words to stop his omega from hurting. “I wish I fell in love with you first before I married you instead.”

That gets Namjoon to look up to Hoseok’s eyes. “W-what?”

Hoseok takes a deep breath. Despite the light alcohol clouding his mind, he tries his best to form coherent words. “It hurts, Namjoon. It hurts so much.” He steps closer to the omega’s face, his own eyes beginning to mist with tears. “To have you here in my arms but to still feel as if you’re so fucking far away from me.”

Both of them couldn’t say a word. The tears are suspended in both their eyes. Namjoon was simply gaping at him, unable to form a rational response to Hoseok’s words. The alpha king speaks again.

“Countless amount of times have I just wanted to kiss you, to hold you, to make love with you outside of our heats and ruts, but I can’t,” Hoseok laugh humorlessly, eyes helpless as he touches Namjoon’s face but still feels as if his own husband was a million miles away. “Because that’s not a part of our deal.”

“Seokie—” Namjoon’s lip quivers, more tears threatening to fall.

Finally, a lone tear slips from Hoseok’s eyes and Namjoon feels his heart break. “It hurts, you know. It hurts to know that I have fallen in love with my own mate and husband,” Namjoon sharply inhales, his breath caught up in his throat. “And yet the rules say that I can’t have him.”

“You?” Namjoon gapes, eyes wide. “Y-you love me?”

Hoseok shrugs, not even bother denying it because it already slipped out. “More than you could ever imagine, Namjoon-ah.” 

Namjoon simply stands there, jaw dropped and his eyes blown wide. He can’t believe it. He doesn’t want to believe it. He honestly thought he was pining over his husband alone . Hoseok was beautiful, smart, and powerful. He could have anyone in the kingdom, and Namjoon was content to at least have him once in a while. He thought it was enough, until it wasn’t. Namjoon thought his omega was being greedy by wanting more from an alpha who has already given him so much.

Apparently, Hoseok was as greedy as him too.

Hoseok takes the silence negatively. He retracts his hand as he looks down in shame. He had ruined everything, hasn’t he? “I guess I have said too much. I have now made you uncomfortable.” He blinks back the tears as he avoids Namjoon’s eyes. “Allow me to sleep in another room. You can stay here for the night. I’m sorry I made things awkward.”

He begins to walk away, feeling suffocated from the silence coming from Namjoon. He should’ve known better. While he wasn’t sure if Namjoon felt the same, he had at least expected that the omega felt a little something for him too. But he was just silent, still unmoving as he watched Hoseok walk away from him.

That was until Hoseok felt a strong pair of arms encircle his waist from behind, soft lips buried on the skin of his neck as the alpha froze.

“Hoseokie,” Namjoon raises his head to whisper against his ear oh so softly. “I love you too.”

Hoseok’s entire world freezes from those five words alone. He stiffens under Namjoon’s embrace, unable to move and unable to process the words his husband just whispered in his ear.

“What?” Hoseok wanted to hear it again and again. “You do?”

And Namjoon would gladly tell him every single day until he believes it. “Of course I do, Seokie,” He whispers again, like a secret that Namjoon was only baring to him. “That’s why I could never look at another alpha ever since I met you.”

The reassurance made Hoseok feel so fucking good he relaxes in the omega’s hold, emitting a pleased scent that Namjoon happily reciprocated.

“Y-you’ve never?” Hoseok wants to confirm once more. It made him so happy. “As in, never ?”

“Nope.” Namjoon smiles softly, gently turning Hoseok around so that they are now face to face. “And I don’t care if you do, but I just want you to know that even before I married you, I was already halfway in love with you.”

Oh how Hoseok’s heart had just burst with so much love he didn't know how to handle it. “I never did too.” He admits. “It was always just you, Joon-ah.” He cups both of Namjoon’s cheeks, pushing it to his own face until their foreheads bump together. “You’re my only omega. My mate.”

“I love it when you say that during our time together.” Namjoon smiles. “It always gets me every single time.”

“I figured.” Hoseok smirks teasingly, remembering how Namjoon’s hole clenches down so tightly on his cock every time he says those words. Namjoon giggles with him. “But don’t worry, I mean that with every fibre in my body.”

“My alpha,” Namjoon whispers as he leans forward, lips brushing against Hoseok’s with every word he spoke. “I love you.”

With that, Hoseok closes the distance between them, capturing Namjoon’s lips in a soft and gentle kiss for the very first time outside their heats and ruts. “I love you too, my omega.”

He feels like a teenage pup, just having their first kiss. It was so perfect and so intimate. It was so them . Never needing a million eyes to judge their relationship, simply happy in silence, as they shower each other in affection in their own subtle way.

But alas Namjoon pulls away, eyes that were originally filled with love suddenly tainted with the beginnings of something akin to fear.

“Hoseokie,” He whispers shakily. “I’m scared.”

And truth be told, Hoseok understands, for he himself is terrified too. It scares him a lot, the possibilities that their inescapable future holds. They were both unsure, the only thing they could guarantee was that there was no getting out of this. For better or for the absolute worst.

“I,” Hoseok gulps as he looks at Namjoon’s eyes with the same amount of fear. “I am too, Namjoon-ah.”

“What if we don’t work out?” Namjoon asks unsurely, unwilling to imagine the millions of possibilities that ended up with them failing their marriage— failing their kingdom. “What if we fail at this? We can’t hurt Gidae by doing this.”

But Hoseok only shakes his head firmly. He is as much of a king as he is Namjoon’s husband and mate. “We won’t, Namjoon-ah.” His voice makes no room for discussion. “Because above all, we are kings. And kings don’t hurt their nation.”

Namjoon pulls away enough to look Hoseok in the eye. “So we’ll just hurt one another instead?”

The fear is sensible, but Hoseok’s will to make things work is much stronger. “Namjoon-ah look at me,” He holds the omega’s cheeks firmly in between his palms. “I’ll never hurt you, baby, never . Do you hear me?”

Against all odds, Namjoon believed in that. For in his time in this kingdom, Hoseok has never done anything to hurt him willingly. “Yes.”

And he hopes, no, he knows that that day will never ever come.

The alpha nods, thankful that the omega trusts him. Now it was time for Hoseok to trust Namjoon too. “Now would you ever hurt me too?”

“Never in a million years, Seokie.” The answer slips out of Namjoon’s lips before he could fully comprehend it. “I’d rather hurt myself than hurt the man I love.”

The reassurance makes Hoseok’s heart so warm. To know that Namjoon may not end up loving him forever, but knowing that Namjoon would always respect him and value him as someone important enough to never hurt purposefully feels so good. “And I’d rather have regrets because I did something wrong, than be left with what-if’s because I was afraid to try.” Hoseok says because he’d rather fall if it meant stepping forward, instead of staying nowhere. “Especially when that what-if could be having you.”

Having you. What a promise Namjoon would love to live out for the rest of their lives. “Do you think I’m gonna be worth it, Seokie?” He asks a little insecurely. Is this going to be worth risking the wellbeing of their kingdoms? What if it wasn't? “Do you think we’re both going to be worth this shot?”

“Namjoon-ah, my love, my mate,” Hoseok bumps their forehead again. He knows things may not always end up okay, but as long as it was for Namjoon, he sure as hell would try. “You’re that someone I know that is worth having at all costs.” He says he swipes the pads of his thumb as another tear falls from Namjoon’s eyes from his beautiful words. “You’re that someone I know that’s worth fighting over any battlefield.” Namjoon was still breathtaking even if he was in tears. As always. The prettiest omega in the world. “You’re that someone I know that’s worth praying to any god out there. If one indeed existed.” He hopes there is though, for now he’s praying to someone that it all ends well. That he’d be happy forever with his omega mate, and his Namjoon alone. “Because you, my love, is worth every single heartbreak in my life, if it meant that I made you smile even just for a short time.”

Namjoon exhales shakily. The intensity of Hoseok’s words hitting him like a freight train. It makes him melt, yet it also scares him. But he’d rather have Hoseok be honest with him like this, than shower him with a false bravado of a happy life that neither of them could guarantee.

Never did Hoseok think he had a way with words. But with Namjoon, Hoseok just wanted to tell him he loved him in every way he could, in every language he could speak. “Having you is worth so much more than losing you, Namjoon-ah.” Both of them allowed a tear to fall, the moment was so beautiful and precious, it was making both their hearts shudder. “I’m not scared to lose you, because if that meant experiencing the pleasure of having you, then so be it, Joon-ah.” He says confidently, before pressing his lips close to Namjoon’s lips again. “Maybe you’ll be my biggest heartbreak, but all I know is that you’re going to be worth it.”

They kiss once more, much more desperate this time. An unsure future was all that they had, but with each other, they sure as hell would make it work. 

It’s going to be worth it, Namjoon thinks. For Hoseok, he’s going to try and fight.

The omega pulls his swollen lips away for a moment, marvelling at Hoseok’s own reddened ones. “Okay, Seok-ah, we’ll try this. I promise to never hurt you. We’ll just be us.” He dips for another kiss just because this man is his husband and mate, and he gets to have him now anytime he wants to. “But hopefully I get more kisses along the way.”

Hoseok giggles, a future filled with a million kisses is something Hoseok was very much looking forward to. “Oh you will. I’ll give you more than kisses, baby.” He promises, thinking of all the ways he is now free to show his mate how much he loves him. He extends his hand to Namjoon, eyes inviting as he looks at his omega. “Let me show you how much I love you, Joon-ah?”

Namjoon grabs Hoseok’s hand without a single doubt. He trusts Hoseok as much as Hoseok trusted him. “Okay Seokie, show me.” Hoseok begins to pull them towards their bed, laying the omega on his back as Hoseok hovers above him. “I love you, alpha.”

Like this, Hoseok is once again awestruck with how beautiful Namjoon is. Especially now that he knows that Namjoon’s eyes were actually glimmering with love just for him. “And I love you so, my omega.”

Hoseok begins to pull his robes down, revealing his smooth and honey skin that Hoseok had every intention to kiss every inch of. No need to wait for heats or ruts anymore. 

“We’re going to be okay, Seokie.”

The difference between them and all the other married couples is that tomorrow is a promise to them. Tomorrow is a guarantee. But what they cannot assure is that tomorrow is going to be good and happy, and that’s what still scares them even as they exchange kisses under the low light shining from the full moon through their window sill.

“We are Joon-ah,” That’s all Hoseok could promise as he dips down to kiss Namjoon’s lips again. He begins removing his own robes as the omega moans when he bites his bottom lip. But for Namjoon, it was more than enough. “As long as I have you, and as long as you have me.”

Forever is a very long time for a married couple, and it’s even more terrifying when they know there’s no escaping it. But it’s okay because now, they have each other to work on one another’s fears. They’d have a lifetime to sort it out, and tonight, both Namjoon and Hoseok have decided that they sure as hell would try so fucking hard to make it work.

It’s going okay, it’s going to be fine — it’s going to be absolutely worth it.

FIN .

Chapter Text

It goes without saying that Jimin adores his boyfriend.

Namjoon is nice—too nice actually. He’s sweet and kind, everything Jimin has ever wanted in a man, and so much more. Jimin honestly thinks he’s hit the jackpot with his Joonie. The same way Namjoon still cannot believe that he’s really dating the one and only Park Jimin.

As cliché as it sounded, Jimin seemed like a whole other world away from him. The campus heartthrob they would call Jimin—handsome, sexy, a whole lot flirty, and just so fucking beautiful it’s almost unfair. Namjoon still doesn’t understand what Park Jimin ever saw in him, and yet here they both were.

They’ve been dating for two whole years.

Despite the one year age difference, both men are in the same year. They were now both seniors, so close to graduation and ready to begin a whole new chapter of their life together. They’ve saved up for a new apartment, both have jobs ready to start with, and everything is just going according to plan.

Until a ghost from the past returns.

Park Jimin is no stranger to meeting his exes on the street. He had a whole lot of them, and Namjoon has already grown accustomed to seeing them pop up once in a while, barely batting an eye at their presence. Sure sometimes, he’ll also get a little jealous. But it’s cool, Namjoon’s used to them. They all didn’t matter anyways, the only person that ever mattered to Jimin was his Namjoon. Had always been and will always be.

However, seeing Namjoon’s ex was something Jimin wasn’t quite accustomed to.

Namjoon has only fallen in love three times, including Jimin, in his whole twenty four years of existence. His first girlfriend back then was more of a puppy love, but he adored what they had nonetheless. His next relationship was his first boyfriend, and they only got separated because the other man went to a different university, and neither party wished to maintain a long distance relationship anymore. Then there was Jimin. His third and (Jimin would like to believe) last love.

Namjoon was just the kind of person that wore his heart on his sleeve. If he fell, then he fell deep. He will give his entire self to the person he loves, with absolutely no reservations. That’s just how he is. If back then, Jimin was about quantity. A true ‘hit it and quit it’ kind of man. The more the merrier would be his motto. Then Namjoon was about quality. Long lasting relationships that had full commitment and dedication—just like what he had with Jimin.

So it’s no wonder Jimin felt threatened the very first time he saw Namjoon talking with his ex boyfriend.

The man was pretty, even Jimin cannot deny that. Soft and sweet features that brightened every time he smiled, and Jimin noticed that he smiled a lot. Especially when he was talking with Namjoon. If Jimin could recall correctly, this man was named Daeshim, and he was with Namjoon for about a year and a half.

There are several circumstances where Jimin and Namjoon had fought about Jimin’s jealousy. Well, maybe not fought per se, but Namjoon had argued that while it was cute when it was just mild, Jimin really had no reasons to be jealous at all. Namjoon would reassure him that he was Jimin’s alone, the same way Jimin was wholly his.

Of fucking course Namjoon was only his.

The moment Jimin first got a taste of Namjoon’s lips, he had long dedicated himself to making sure that he would be able to feel this for as long as he lived. He has made that mistake once actually. Him and Namjoon broke up eight months ago for a total of sixty four days and twenty one hours. The absolute worst months of Jimin’s life. The point is Jimin knows how it feels like to live without Namjoon after having a taste of how happy life was with him, and there is no way in hell that he’ll ever go back to a Namjoon-less life ever again.

He won’t ever let Namjoon go, he doesn’t even think he’s strong enough to ever do that.

So that’s why the first thing Jimin did when he saw his boyfriend chatting with his ex at the café Namjoon and Jimin were supposed to meet at, the younger boy marched up to their table and kissed Namjoon smack down on his lips.

At the back of his mind, Jimin chastises himself. He knows Namjoon is not a fan of PDA and he respects that. He gives Jimin all the love and affection he wanted when they were alone together anyways. Sure Namjoon is not against hand holding or subtle touches out in the open, but making out publicly was definitely not a part of the list of things he wanted to do in front of an entire cafè.

But Jimin just had to make a point before someone got a little bit too deluded.

When Jimin pulls away, Namjoon stares at him in both bewilderment and wonder. “Uhh—”

“Oh I’m sorry.” An overly sweet smile makes its way onto Jimin's face, before turning to Daeshim who was staring at them with wide eyes. “I just missed my boyfriend a lot, I didn’t notice you here. I’m Jimin by the way.”

Still looking like a deer caught in the headlights, the ghost tries to at least be polite. “Hello Jimin-ssi, I’m Daeshim.”

Oh Jimin knows. “Yes, you’re Joonie’s old friend, right?”

Daeshim surely doesn’t understand what’s happening, but he looks up at Namjoon, only to find him looking equally as confused. “Ah yes, that would be me.”

“Oh Joonie didn’t tell me you were meeting with him here.” Jimin scoots on the seat next to Namjoon, throwing his legs on top of his lap so he’s basically sitting sideways on him.

“Ah that’s because I wasn’t also expecting to see Daeshim here today.” Namjoon interrupts. He’s still baffled, but as if it was muscle memory, his hands immediately fall on his boyfriend’s back in support. “Saw him here while I was waiting for you.”

“Oh.” Jimin looks madly interested. Surely fake. “Did I make you wait long, Joonie?”

“No, no, baby.” Namjoon smiles softly at him, and Jimin found his heart stuttering. “It was actually fun to catch up with Daeshim again. It has been quite a while.”

Until he hears that.

As if they truly wanted to add more fire to the already burning flame, Daeshim’s face brightens up. His soft eyes crinkling in delight as he stares at his ex. Jimin hates that look, it shouldn’t be directed to someone who’s from your past. Someone who already belongs to someone else. Hell, Jimin has never even looked at his exes like that, because they all never mattered. His relationships with them were never this deep.

Not like what Daeshim and Namjoon had obviously once shared.

“It was also nice catching up with you too, Nammie.” The nickname ticks something off in Jimin’s system. He hates it. “Who would’ve thought we’d meet again after, uhm, how long has it been?”

“Around three years.” Namjoon answers for him with an equally devastating smile on his own, oblivious to the way Jimin’s hands tighten around his forearms. “It was cool meeting you too again, Dae-dae.”

For a moment, the two exes share what Jimin would describe as a fond look. What hurts more is that he knows that that was just how Namjoon was with everyone. Smiling a little too widely, eyes sparkling a little too bright. That’s what got the underclassmen fawning over him, after all. But god does he fucking hate it. He doesn’t care if it’s something that’s just supposed to be friendly, Daeshim better stop looking at Namjoon like that right now unless he wants Jimin to claw his eyes out. He’s right here, goddammit.

But for what it’s worth, Jimin tries to hold himself in check. For Namjoon. Only for Namjoon’s sake.

Because if he knows that if he acts upon it, they will just quarrel over it. Namjoon would be upset, asking Jimin again if he didn’t trust Namjoon to never do that to him. If Jimin didn’t trust Namjoon’s love for him enough. And it’s not that. He doesn’t want to make his boyfriend sad when that’s not even the point.

Trust was never the issue. It’s just that… Namjoon was so good, and Jimin’s a hundred and one percent sure that Namjoon doesn’t see it for himself. He’s handsome, so, so hot, smart and god, he was just the kindest and most patient man Jimin has ever known. Namjoon probably doesn’t know how many people are so ready to snatch him away the moment they break up. He’s seen it from afar, when they separated momentarily, how a thread of people approached Namjoon hoping to score a date. Thankfully, Namjoon back then was still nursing his broken heart. He hadn’t moved on from Jimin just yet, until they both finally came back to their senses and came back to each other’s arms.

Jimin knows how many people wanted Namjoon, or in this case, /still/ wanted his boyfriend.

He could recognize the look on Daeshim’s face. He’s not stupid, thank you very much. He knows that Deashim is staring at his Namjoon a little too intimately, as if his heart was still held by the same man he broke up with three years ago. He knows because that’s how Jimin used to look at Namjoon before, at the beginning of their friendship. He recognizes that barely hidden want in Daeshim’s eyes, worse, he could see the hopefulness there too as if Jimin wasn’t right there, half sitting on Namjoon’s lap. Add to the fact that they didn’t even end on a bad note, so yeah, Jimin knows it.

And god does he hate it.

“Well it’s a good thing /my/ boyfriend is so patient.” Jimin stresses out the ‘my’ as he downright stares at Daeshim with that same sickly sweet smile on his handsome features. Going by the way Daeshim’s face gradually faltered, Jimin guessed he got the message. Stay away from what’s no longer yours. “Thank you for keeping my Joonie company while he waited for me. Now, we could finally go on our date. Excuse us, will you, Daeshim-ssi?”

He doesn’t even give either men the time to say anything else before he drags Namjoon away from the café. Daeshim honestly looked like he wanted to stop them, at least to properly say goodbye or maybe to even ask to see Namjoon again sometime. Not that Jimin would allow it, no way in fucking hell.

Jimin pulls them both to a nearby alleyway, barely giving Namjoon the chance to blink before the smaller man pushes him up against the bricked wall. Caging the taller boy in his arms as he cups Namjoon’s face, and pulls him down for a long deep kiss.

God knows how long they made out, Namjoon was too lost in the feeling of Jimin’s lips on his own to remember that they were indeed in public. Albeit a little hidden, but still out in the open anyways. He only comes to his senses when Jimin moans loudly against his mouth, pulling away slightly before they get ahead of themselves.

“Jimin.” He breathes out against his lips. “W-what was that?”

“What do you think, Joonie?” But Jimin wasn’t done. He wanted more. He pulls Namjoon down for another desperate kiss. “I’m just reminding you of who you belong to.”

When Namjoon manages to ground himself again, he pulls away with furrowed brows. “Minnie, we’ve talked about this, baby. You already know that I’m never going to want anybody else but you.”

“Oh I know, Namjoonie.” Jimin reassures him. “I just can’t say the same thing about your ex though.”

At the accusation to his ex, Namjoon looked even more baffled. “What do you mean about Daeshim? He was just being friendly.”

Jimin scoffs. “Friendly my ass. He might be fooling you, but he can’t fuck with me, Namjoon-ah.” Jimin presses him further against the wall. For a man half as Namjoon’s size, Jimin surely was twice his strength. “I saw the way he looked at you. He still wants you, baby.”

Jimin will probably never admit it, hell, not even to the devil himself, but a part of him had been scared. Actually, a part of him will /always/ be afraid. Yes, he trusted Namjoon, but god, not even Namjoon could recognize it. Their want for him, their desire to take him away from Jimin.

So Jimin has taken it upon himself to protect his lovely boyfriend from all the evil people that wish to steal him away.

“Jimin.” Namjoon’s voice is equally fond and exasperated. He doesn’t really get it, no. He loves Jimin so much, he can’t even think about looking at another person’s way. Hell, even when they broke up, not a night passed by that he didn’t cry over the man who still held his heart in entirety. He just wished Jimin knew that. “I think you’re mistaken, baby. And even if he did, then I don’t care. Not when I have you, and not when the only person I’ll ever want and love is you.”

“Oh you better Joonie.” A smug satisfaction flows through Jimin’s veins. This beautiful man right here is for him, and him alone. Jimin rewards him by grinding against him once, hard and rough. Namjoon backs up further against the wall at the sudden force, mouth falling open in a silent groan. “You’re mine, baby boy, don’t you ever forget that.”

Jimin seals his words with another kiss, with much more force that the ones they have shared earlier. He continues grinding their clothed crotches against each other, fast and without any gentleness in it. All to make a point. 

Forget he never will, and forget Namjoon will never want to. Not when Jimin kisses him like this, getting him so addicted that he’s certain that if by chance, he gets to kiss another man again someday, he’ll never feel this much passion and desire with them. Not when Jimin has basically ruined him for anyone else.

Sometimes, Jimin was also terrified of his own feelings for Namjoon. It’s so intense. He sometimes wonders how he still hasn’t scared Namjoon away with it or why Namjoon still hasn’t given up on him. But then he realizes that it’s a part of why Namjoon loved him. Sure, sometimes it goes a bit overboard. He’s not afraid to tell Jimin when it does anyways, making his own limits clear. But this feeling right here—it makes Namjoon feel wanted. Sometimes, it’s also nice to feel that validation, that after how many years of being together, his boyfriend still wanted him as much as Namjoon wanted Jimin.

They make out loud and messy against the walls of the alleyway. Thank god there’s not a lot of people that passed by to see them grinding and kissing like this. But before Jimin could sink down his hand inside Namjoon’s jeans, the taller boy pulled at his wrist. “Minnie, not here, baby.”

Sometimes too, Jimin wanted to shake Namjoon up. Ruin him until he’s free of all his worries. See how far he could push his good boy until he hands himself over fully to Jimin. But it seems like it’s not gonna be today. “Fine, you’re right.”

“Yes I am. We also have a date to finish, love.” Namjoon reminds him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Now come on, we have our whole day planned ahead.”

But then Jimin pouts, cute and a little bit devious. “Just one more kiss.”

And as always, Namjoon was a very weak man for the man he loves. “Fine. Come here, babe.”

He bends down as Jimin cups his cheeks. Once again, he ends up pressed against the bricked wall, but god wouldn’t he have it in any other way. He loves the fact that someone as tiny as Jimin could make him feel this small. It’s refreshing. Exhilarating even.

“Sometimes,” Jimin breathes against his lips, before they lower down to the column of his neck. “I just want to put a ring on your finger so that people would understand that you’re mine.”

The thought of marrying Jimin brings a wondrous flutter to Namjoon’s heart, along with a red tint to his already flushed cheeks. “We’ll get there, Minnie.” He closes his eyes for a moment, to simply bask in the feeling of Jimin’s lips against his skin. Tries to imagine a future with his husband, not for the first time. Hell, not even the hundredth. “Besides, we don’t need a ring for you to know that I’m always going to be yours, baby. I promise.”

Jimin’s lips find his again. He knows he only promised one more kiss, but for as long as Namjoon is willing to give, then Jimin will happily take. Greedy maybe, but that’s what happens when you get a taste of Kim Namjoon’s love. “I love you so much, Joonie. Promise me you’ll never ever leave me. That you’re always going to be mine.”

He’s heard it a million times before, but Jimin will never ever tire of hearing it. And right now, he needs to hear it.

“I promise.” The words slip out of Namjoon’s mouth before he even thinks about it. Not that he has to, he will always, always give his heart to Jimin unconditionally. That’s how much Namjoon loved him. “As long as you’re going to be mine forever too, then I’m yours.” He presses another kiss to his lips, before smiling softly. “I love you, future husband, so, so much. Don’t you ever forget that too.”

Future husband. Oh how Jimin loved the sound of that.

There are times that Jimin wanted to shake Namjoon up, to open his eyes to the reality that he was so fucking desirable, that by many. Just like what happened today. Although Namjoon would probably argue that between the two of them, Jimin best fits that statement, at least more than him. But Jimin disagrees. Most people only wanted Jimin for one night, since that was all Jimin needed from them too. They were momentary, he wasn’t someone people planned the rest of their life with. Unlike Namjoon who was everyone’s dream husband. The man they all believed they could have a good future with, to spend their life with someone as amazing as Namjoon /forever/.

Too bad Namjoon’s future only had Jimin in it.

Jimin was Namjoon’s future husband, and that role would only be for Jimin, and for Jimin alone.

Chapter Text

Flurries of arrows cascaded from the heavens. Or more like from hell.

Everywhere the king looked, the echo of an object so sharp would hit either the vast land or actual human flesh. Dead bodies are scattered all over the hardened floors of the palace grounds, green mixing with red, the cold night blending with eerie screams, and the soil painted with blood.

Yoongi only freezes momentarily in his step. The scene horrifically reminded him of his older brother’s coronation. The assassination of the newly crowned king, which also resulted to the death of the previous ruler, Yoongi’s father, and his beloved queen, Yoongi’s mother, along with a dozen of his little siblings.

It was ultimately why Yoongi became king, because the crown prince was killed in a similar fashion that seems eerily familiar to the scene right in front of him. 

The king ran as fast as he could.

Vaguely, Yoongi registers the screams echoing around him. If he were kinder and much deserving of their title as their ruler , Yoongi would find himself pausing in his step every time another palace staff yelled for help, my king, abandon not your people, help us!

But Yoongi’s heart was long hardened. He is deaf to their cries, eyes only dead set on one body he ought to find.

Namjoon.

Unfortunately, the fates were even more cruel than the unmerciful king. For in Yoongi’s frenzied quest to find his adviser, an imprint of his worst nightmare comes to life right in front of his eyes.

Yoongi’s head turns at the exact moment a long silver arrow pierces straight to Namjoon’s heart.

“No.” The king whispers, and Namjoon’s eyes only widen as he looks down to his own chest, as if the arrow was nothing but a figment of his imagination.

“N-Namjoon, no.”

The scene looked like it was purposefully slowed down. Namjoon stands achingly still—shocked—the pain barely even registering to his poor brain yet. Yoongi only stands frozen as Namjoon gapes at the blood on his silken robes, head tilting to the side as if there is someone he can ask if an arrow really did just shoot him.

Instead, his eyes meet Yoongi’s.

“Namjoon!” The king suddenly finds his voice at the exact moment Namjoon’s knees drop to the ground. “Namjoon!”

Another arrow hits Namjoon on his left side, and that is what ultimately gets Yoongi moving.

“N-Namjoon!” Yoongi screams for him again, his deep voice reaching a pitch that holds its highest record. In a moment of stupidity, Yoongi blindly runs through the open ground, uncaring of the way Jungkook yelled after him. The only thing on the king’s mind is that he needed to reach his adviser. “Namjoon—you, oh god, c-come here! You—”

Jungkook acts on impulse, knowing that he cannot stop his king, the royal guard helps him instead. He protects Yoongi as they both reach out for the fallen adviser, pulling him into safer ground as if that could still save Namjoon’s dying life.

“Namjoon, y-you—” The king’s eyes widened in terror and fear, and if this was a better time, Namjoon would dwell on the fact that alas, he has finally managed to bring back some emotion to his king’s handsome face, something other than anger and indifference. “You—oh god, you cannot, Namjoon, p-please no. No, no, no!”

But this is already a losing battle, just like Namjoon’s venture in bringing his Yoongi back to his life.

The king props Namjoon to a nearby wall, the adviser heavily panting the more blood he loses. The pain is finally being processed, Namjoon’s evidently hurting.

“Namjoon please,” Yoongi chokes out, and for once, he is not terrified to weep in front of anyone. “Y-You have to stay with me. I-I cannot be without my most trusted adviser.”

I cannot live without you, is what Yoongi truly wanted to say. My life is worthless if you are not in it.

“Sorry.” Namjoon mumbles, his lips paling to a lilac hue and Yoongi wonders if he could press his lips onto them one last time, maybe that will bring back its color. “Sorry I f-failed you again, my king.”

But Yoongi is terrified to taste his beloved’s blood.

“You did not, god, you did not fail me.” Yoongi sobs out, tears leaking out of his eyes as he pulls Namjoon’s face closer until their foreheads bump. “I am the one w-who failed you.”

For a moment, the king briefly wonders if an arrow had hit him too. Maybe Jungkook has failed in protecting him. There was no way to explain the pain of having his heart ripped out from his chest the more Namjoon bled to his robes.

“My king.” Namjoon moans, in pain or sadness, Yoongi did not wish to know.

“I am so, so sorry, Namjoon. I am sorry, sorry, god, please forgive me,” The king sobs out like a child. If this were another day, Yoongi would have found himself humiliated with how pathetic he looked and felt, but perhaps, Yoongi could give himself a day break. “Please do not leave me, Namjoon. Stay, t-that is an order.”

Namjoon wishes it were that easy. He had always followed his king’s orders. Even if they were no longer reasonable or right, Namjoon always listened to him. Not out of duty, but out of love for him.

Please listen to me one more time. Yoongi pleads silently. He wonders if God still favored him somehow or in some way, and if he is listening, let him not take the king’s most prized possession.

“I,” Namjook gasps out softly. He could feel the way the energy was gradually seeping out of every pore in his body. “I have been yearning to leave the palace for so l-long… I guess this is heaven's way of answering my prayers.”

Yoongi wanted to break down at that moment. The sadness had never felt so crushing. If the universe was listening, the king was willing to make a bargain. 

Listen to me, and let him live, Yoongi cries out hopelessly to any star looking down upon them. This is the last thing I will ask from him, then I shall let him go.

But Yoongi has long lost his chance. The universe already made its decision.

“I am so, so, terribly sorry,” Yoongi cries out loud, because this, this is his fault. If only he was not selfish, if only he knew how to love still, if only he had let Namjoon go with Seokjin… if only he opened his heart to his adviser, then Namjoon would not be dying in his arms filled with regret and sadness. “Namjoon-ah, I am so sorry, please f-forgive me.”

The familiar way Yoongi addressed him has Namjoon’s already shaky breath stuttering. Oh how he had missed hearing those words, and not the usual Adviser Kim. At the very least, Namjoon is glad he got to hear it one last time.

“S’alright, my king,” He smiles ruefully, in pain. “It matters n-not anymore.”

It matters not because it is too late, Yoongi’s sobs were absolutely heart wrenching. To know that he had taken his beloved for granted; maybe this is his punishment, he will watch Namjoon die in his arms.

Yoongi will watch the heavens rip away his heart leaving him as nothing but a shell of a man.

“Joon-ah,” The king has never felt this helpless and pitiful. No amount of power can bring back his beloved’s life and that is something he cannot, for the love of god, accept. “Namjoon-ah, I am begging you, please s-stay.”

“N-Not this time, your highness.” Namjoon says sadly, “We both cannot battle the universe.”

My word is law, the king once said. But Yoongi has forgotten that he is not invincible—that there are forces greater than his own. Now, he pays the price.

“I love you.” Yoongi suddenly gasps out, and even Namjoon looks surprised at the sudden confession. “You cannot leave me, Namjoon-ah. I fought so hard to have you h-here by my side. Do not leave me like this.”

Namjoon knows that his heart is quite literally bleeding, his heartbeat slowing down as more blood leaks out of his chest. His vision is already getting blurry, and while he could still see arrows raining from the sky, he can only look at Yoongi.

The man who had always owned his heart from the beginning until the very end.

Although Namjoon thinks that right at this moment, his heart has never felt more alive. How long had he yearned to hear those words from Yoongi’s lips again. He waited patiently by his side for years, all because he had hope that in some way, he still had a place in the king’s hardened heart, despite Yoongi proclaiming that he no longer had one. That there was still a part of that old Yoongi that Namjoon had once loved—still loves—in there waiting for him.

His efforts are not fruitless. Although, it is too late.

“Nothing I-I can do anymore,” Tears streamed down Namjoon’s face. It hurts so much—both the arrow and Yoongi. “Y-You have to let me go.”

Yoongi’s sobs turn even more violent. “I cannot, Namjoon, I still cannot. I have never been able to let you go, and I-I do not think I ever will.” Yoongi wants to stomp his foot; he wants to challenge God himself in a duel just for the prize of Namjoon’s life. He will win it, even if it takes his own life, Yoongi will do everything to win it. “I love you, please stay.”

Because the king had fought the world, the fates, and even Namjoon himself just so the adviser could stay by his side. Let not death come and break us apart.

“My king?” Namjoon suddenly speaks, voice soft and heedy.

“Y-yes?” Yoongi bumps their noses together, gaze focused on the tears that fanned across Namjoon’s long lashes. Despite the loud cries around them and the smell of blood flooding the entire palace, Yoongi’s attention is on no one except his beloved.

“I forgive you.” Namjoon whispers, breath hitting Yoongi’s lips. “I am not mad, not anymore. I-I have not been mad in so long, and I-I no longer wish to carry sadness or anger in my next l-life.”

Yoongi wanted to die with Namjoon at that moment. Actually, he wanted to die in lieu of the man in front of him. He was the one who did not deserve his life, not when someone right here had more love to give to the world rather than him who only caused people pain.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi sobs out, and he cries for the past few years he had forcefully stopped his heart from loving. Now, it was too late. “Namjoon, I am so, so sorry.”

“You are a good king, your highness,” Namjoon mutters, like a true adviser. “Always was. Y-You showed no weakness.”

His words, however, bring no consolation. For at the end of the day, Yoongi knew that he always had some weaknesses. Despite his morbid attempt of concealing his flaws, he was still inherently human. Perfectly imperfect—flawed.

Humans feel pain, too. He was not as invincible as he made himself believe. Yoongi was not strong, because he did not embrace his weaknesses. He simply ran away from them, and they finally caught up to him at the very last moment.

“Y-You do not deserve this, Joon-ah.”

But given their circumstances, Namjoon no longer cares about what he deserves. He once told Yoongi that he would give up his life for the crown, and he means that. His life is not a loss if it is for the kingdom.

Namjoon, however, knows someone who deserves more from him.

“My king,” He suddenly gasps out, and Yoongi has never looked this frantic. “Seokjin.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened, his own heart being pierced with its own arrow. A part of him hurts that even until now, with only Yoongi by his side, Namjoon still longed for another.

“Namjoon.”

“Give this to him.” Namjoon, with a grimace and a final burst of his strength, lifts his hand to obtain a small dagger stashed inside his grimy robes—Seokjin’s dagger. The very same one the exiled knight gifted to him the night before Yoongi personally threw Seokjin out of the kingdom when the knight attempted to steal his Namjoon from the king’s side. The bronze is stained with copious amounts of blood, almost unrecognizable, but Namjoon still hands it over to Yoongi with shaky hands. “Promise m-me.”

Never has Yoongi truly proven how horrible he was until this moment. Because even if Namjoon was wilting away right in front of his own eyes, he still finds jealousy crawling into his veins. This blade was a sharp reminder that Namjoon had given so much love to the world, and he was loved just as much. Even more than Yoongi has ever loved him. Namjoon, too, had once fallen for another, and that is something Yoongi still refuses to accept until now.

Still, he is not that evil. At least not to the man who has been the kindest to him… even until his last breath.

“You have my word.” Yoongi reaches out, tucking the dagger by his side as he cups Namjoon’s face with shaky hands. “I’ll do this for y-you.”

Namjoon’s eyes are grateful, fluttering. “Thank you.”

With his blood stained hands, Yoongi threads his fingers through Namjoon’s hair. He remembers when they were younger, how Namjoon absolutely despised it when Yoongi messed up his perfectly combed hair. Now, Namjoon barely reacts. He barely even holds Yoongi’s gaze anymore.

“Joon,” The king chokes out a helpless sob. “I love you, do not do this, please.”

If Namjoon can persevere through this, then Yoongi will never allow another day to pass wherein he does not tell the younger man of his love. But life is already bleeding out of Namjoon’s eyes, there is no use of bargaining. The corners of his vision are already turning blurry. Soon, he can feel his body giving up.

“Your majesty?” Namjoon speaks out again, voice soft and meek. Hurt.

“Yes?” Yoongi has never heard him sound like this. His heart cracks again.

“I-I am scared.” Namjoon admits, the tears falling from his eyes reaffirm his words.

If Yoongi can, he would take out his own heart and exchange it for Namjoon’s. He would gladly take away all his pain and worries, until the young man was surely alive and healthy again. But alas, Yoongi is just a human. A king, maybe, but there is not much he can do to ease Namjoon’s worries.

Nothing he can do to save Namjoon’s life.

“Namjoon.” Yoongi gasps out shakily. Carefully, he manoeuvres Namjoon to lay on his lap, the arrow in his chest causing him to groan out in pain. The king only cries at the sound of agony and fear, feeling worse than helpless. All Yoongi can do now is to allow Namjoon to lay on his chest. The stains of Namjoon’s blood forever inking his soul. “D-do not be. I—I am here, my love.”

“Hyung,” Namjoon chokes out through a cough, blood dripping from the corner of his lips. “Yoongi hyung?” 

Hearing Namjoon call him that again brings Yoongi to another wave of tears. He remembers the last time Namjoon addressed him as such, how he had admonished his adviser. Now, he wishes Namjoon would call him that over and over again, every day for the rest of their lives. As if they were still lovers… as if they were still happy. “J-Joon.”

“I am terrified.” He confides in his king again, ripping Yoongi’s heart into shreds with every trembling word. “W-Will it hurt?”

“I do not know,” Yoongi admits, shamelessly sobbing against his adviser’s hair. He can only imagine the pain for he is not the one who has an arrow lodged into his heart. However, the excruciating sorrow Yoongi feels right now as he watches his Namjoon slowly die is enough to render him lifeless. “But do not be scared, my love, h-hyung is here. Hyung will never leave your side.”

It is pathetic how the only thing Yoongi can offer him now is his presence. Once upon a time, the then prince swore to give his beloved everything he could have ever asked for. Money, land, riches, gold. Name it, and Yoongi swore to reach for the stars for his beautiful dimpled little lover.

And yet from then until now, Namjoon had only asked him for one thing—his Yoongi hyung.

Yoongi might have been selfish enough to deprive Namjoon of his hyung for how many years, but maybe for the very last time, Yoongi can fulfill his adviser’s only wish.

“O-Okay,” Namjoon coughs again, and Yoongi’s lips tremble at the blood in his hands. “Okay, hyung. Please stay with me. I a-am scared.”

All his life, Yoongi has sworn to never show fear to anyone else. Not to his friends, and certainly not to his foes. He never wished to appear weak. But this, Yoongi thinks, is the greatest act of strength he has ever witnessed. Dying alone is such a scary thing, and Namjoon is bravely admitting that he wants someone by his side as he takes his last breath. He is not afraid to appear weak, because he knows that he is only human. 

Until the very end, Namjoon has proven that he is still the stronger one between the two of them.

Because it is not Namjoon who ran away from his humanity.

“Never going to leave you.” Yoongi swore uselessly, hoping his words still meant something to him. “Never, Joon-ah.”

Namjoon does not respond for a while. He only lays there nimbly, as Yoongi rocks them back and forth, the intensity of his own sobs shaking them both. All around them, the bloodbath is still ever present, but the king has already tuned them out. He only focuses on Namjoon’s breathing, of how it slows down with every passing second.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon breathes out again, and when Yoongi looks down, his pale lips are curved into the saddest excuse of a smile. “Bury me with the daisies.”

At that moment, Yoongi finally wanted to lash out. Unleash all the wrath he has been holding in about the unfairness of the gods. Namjoon has accepted it now, and he… he can truly no longer do anything else. It is so unfair.

But Namjoon has already lost hope.

“Only the finest ones f-for you.” Yoongi promises. He will pick up every daisy in the world if that is what Namjoon wanted. Although, he knows that all Namjoon wants is to be buried in the place where he has once been the happiest. Where a young Yoongi had given him that ring that now hangs loosely around Namjoon’s neck. A symbol of every promise the king has constantly broken.

“Thank y-you.”

With trembling fingers, Yoongi reaches up to thumb away the tears from Namjoon’s face. As if he himself was not a sobbing mess. “W-Will I see you in my next life, Namjoon-ah?”

If the universe would not grant him his wish of allowing Namjoon to keep his life, then Yoongi wishes that in their next one, they will find their way back to each other’s arms again. There, Yoongi swore, he will do everything he can to make Namjoon happy. He will never put Namjoon in the same misery his hardened heart has bestowed upon them in this lifetime.

The king, however, is completely surprised when Namjoon shakes his head lightly with the last burst of strength he can produce. It was such a small movement, but Yoongi’s world once again crumbled with that small shake of his head.

“I hope not,” Namjoon gasps out, looking at Yoongi with a mixture of sadness and bitterness. Hopelessness mostly, too. “I want to be free, Yoongi. Please l-let me go.”

Everything Yoongi had tried so hard to lock inside his heart spills out so messily. There is not a moment more where Yoongi has ever hated himself as much as he did this moment. He must have truly made Namjoon feel so miserable that even until his next life, he no longer wanted to do anything with Yoongi. Beyond death, Namjoon still yearns to be free from his king.

And still, Yoongi cannot let him go.

“Namjoon,” The king sobs out frantically. “I am so sorry.” He dares to kiss his cheek, the king’s lips brushing along the corner of Namjoon’s blood stained lips in one last attempt to apologize.

“I am so scared, hyung,” Is all that Namjoon says, and this time, his eyes begin to fall shut. “Please, just hold m-me.”

With trembling lips, the king presses a kiss to Namjoon’s eyelids. The right one first before the left. He can feel the way Namjoon is turning deathly still in his arms, and once again, there is nothing the king can do but painfully watch.

“I love you.” Yoongi breathes out one last time, hoping to hear Namjoon say it to him again.

However, all Namjoon rewards him is one last smile as he forces his eyes to open one last time. The last image Yoongi will have of his beloved is his blood stained dimples that he has come to adore for the rest of his life.

In the end, Namjoon was still not greedy with his smiles. Namjoon still wanted Yoongi to know that he, in some way, still made Namjoon happy until the very end. After all the suffering, Namjoon did not want Yoongi to remember him in anguish and sadness. Rather, he wanted Yoongi to remember him through his smile. And the king swore to cherish that image for the rest of his life.

With one last shaky breath, Namjoon finally closes his eyes.

Stillness.

Yoongi finally unleashes that blood curdling scream he has been holding in the moment Namjoon finally slumps lifelessly in his arms. A part of him mourns that even when he still could, Namjoon never told him that he loved him one last time.

But then again, what love can Namjoon give him, when Yoongi himself has taken away Namjoon’s right to love him. When it was Yoongi who said that Namjoon cannot love a monster—that he should stop dwelling on a man that has already died and now returned years later as the embodiment of vengeance and cruelty. As his king.

However, as he cries out for the life he has lost, Yoongi realized that Namjoon was still declaring his unfounded love for his king. No, not for his king, but for his Yoongi hyung.

“Love is weakness,” Yoongi once told him. “Love is a liability that will only render a person vulnerable.”

“And that is what makes it special,” Namjoon counters back, a cheeky smile on his face just because he loved arguing with his lover. Laying beside the garden of daisies with his head atop his hyung’s chest, Namjoon does not know a better way to spend the sunset. “Because you will only allow the people you love to see your weakness. You only trust them to see your imperfections.”

While Yoongi sees the logic, he was raised differently from his beautiful and kindhearted Namjoon. In his own household—the palace—vulnerabilities had no place. “Still makes you weak.”

“And that is okay,” Namjoon smiles at him. What makes a human beautiful if not for their fragility. “I would not mind showing you all of my weaknesses, hyungie. Just for you, because I trust you and I love you.”

This had been Namjoon’s last act of love for him—he allowed himself to be weak in Yoongi’s arms.

Namjoon bared himself up for the man who had selfishly locked himself away from the only person who had loved him with every fibre of his body. All his fears and vulnerabilities are out in the open as Namjoon tells Yoongi he loves him wordlessly one final time.

Love is a liability, and that is why Namjoon has been his only weakness.

Namjoon died with his heart both literally and figuratively spilling out. All the love he had for Yoongi was now gone, drained away like that last drop of blood from his nimble organ.

And while might have no longer died angry, Namjoon still died an unhappy man.

And this, Yoongi believes, is his greatest punishment. Knowing that even until his last breath, Namjoon still wanted to escape him. Still wanting to leave behind the dark shadow of loneliness and despair Yoongi has selfishly casted upon him; Namjoon never wanted to see him again.

My beloved did not live for long, he did not even die happy because of me.

Alas, as Namjoon finally bleeds out in his arms, Yoongi knows he has died with him.

FIN.

Chapter Text

One day is all it takes.

In just one day, the earth can complete a full spin. Day turns into night, before the sun rises all over again. Then, it sets once more to give time for the moon. This happens everyday, probably since the beginning of time.

But for Namjoon, it’s… a little different.

Sure, the sun will rise and it shall set again. Even he can’t bend the laws of physics and astrology. But in Namjoon’s case, however, sometimes the earth spins in a different direction. Sometimes, it stays stagnant. Sometimes, it flips upside down.

Sometimes, the darkness stays for a long while, the sun nowhere to be found.

Today was one of those days.

The moment Namjoon arrived home to his and his boyfriend’s shared apartment, he already knew something was off. The darkness was an easy giveaway, not a single light illuminating their apartment besides the pale moonlight filtering through their glass windows. The silence was another. If today was a sunny day, the sound of jazz music resounding from their speakers would greet Namjoon as he toed off his shoes. Or maybe the sound of the television playing another classical movie would ring throughout their home as someone hummed a tune from their kitchen whilst preparing a delicious dinner.

Tonight, however, that wasn’t the case.

“T-Tae?” Namjoon’s voice quivers, already mentally preparing himself for whatever he’s about to deal with. Not that anything could ever really prepare him for Taehyung. “I’m home?”

A quiet rustle. Socked footsteps make their way to their living room where Namjoon awaits. The third giveaway for a bomb that’s about to explode is the fact that Taehyung didn’t greet him with a kiss. The man is just standing there, eyeing Namjoon with a set to his jaw and a crease on his brow.

“B-Babe?” Namjoon tries again.

Taehyung shifts on his feet, stepping closer. Namjoon tries hard not to flinch as his boyfriend inches forward to his space, but it’s futile. Then, the silence in the room was broken by a soft sound, though he couldn’t tell you which of them made it. If it was Namjoon’s terrified gulp or of Taehyung’s warning growl.

The younger man stops right in front of Namjoon’s face. “Where were you?”

Namjoon trembles at Taehyung’s deep and low voice. Sometimes, he doesn’t know if he preferred Taehyung yelling at him or if he liked this deep, menacing voice instead. They both brought a different type of fear to Namjoon’s body in their own shuddering way.

“I—I was with Seokjin hyung,” Namjoon doesn’t dare to lie, not when he knew Taehyung had access to his location on his phone anyways, and he could indeed verify what Namjoon said. “I stopped by his office after work.”

Taehyung clenches his jaw, crossing his arms right in front of his chest. “With Seokjin again?” He spat. “Care to tell me why in the world do you keep spending time with him instead of me, huh, Namjoon-ah?”

Not for the first time does Namjoon wish he could just tell Taehyung the truth: that Seokjin is Namjoon’s only way of remaining sane. Namjoon needed his hyung to be able to deal with Taehyung — that Seokjin is the only reason Namjoon is still hanging on by a single thread in the first place.

But, Namjoon knew that by saying that he needed another man, whatever the context, would probably end up in severely virulent consequences.

“I just—I needed his advice in a-another one of my patients,” Namjoon says, which is only half the truth. “I didn’t know how to approach this patient t-that has been coming to my clinic for some time now. I asked hyung if I could refer them to him.”

Nothing but skepticism burns in Taehyung’s eyes, which mildly offends Namjoon to a certain extent because he has never ever given Taehyung a reason to doubt him. He has always been an honest man.

Even if Taehyung was perpetually doubtful.

“A patient, huh?” Taehyung tilts Namjoon by his jaw when the older man begins to look away from Taehyung’s ominous eyes. “Which one of them is it then? Is it that guy that once sent you flowers during Valentine’s day?”

Namjoon tries not to flinch at that memory. He remembers how Valentine’s day went terribly wrong when Taehyung surprised Namjoon in his clinic, only to find a delivery man giving his boyfriend some flowers, saying that it’s a delivery from one of Namjoon’s clients.

Everything simply went downhill to the point that the very next day, Namjoon’s office had to be closed for a week for renovations. Plus, that particular patient was referred to another one of Namjoon’s peers before the day even ended, stating Namjoon’s personal incapability to serve this client any longer.

“You don’t know them.” Namjoon whispers, lips trembling as Taehyung caresses his jaw, almost a little too gently. “She’s new.”

Taehyung hums, before his grip suddenly tightens. “Really, now? I think you’re lying to me, hyungie,” He hissed through clenched teeth. “Tell me which one of them is it.” Taehyung basically demands.

Namjoon’s face pulls into a grimace. Shouldn’t it be a little sick and twisted how that one word almost slipped out of his tongue as he dealt with his boyfriend? How Namjoon almost blurted out that one name despite the lack of his records in Namjoon’s cabinet?

‘You.’

Every ethical code Namjoon has long ingrained into his head has been broken down the longer he stayed in this place. Years of taking his studies, his Master’s and PhD included, and Namjoon would have never thought that his own downfall wouldn’t come from a patient that he was unable to treat or of a research he has failed to conduct.

But, rather, because of his boyfriend that Namjoon was unable to fix.

“Isn’t that just the biggest sickness of us, psychologists,” Seokjin blew a huff off his cigarette, a menthol scent engulfing the small space he called his office. “We always think we can heal everybody. We always think we can fix even the most broken pieces of shit.”

Namjoon’s fingers fiddle with his own stick blazing right in between his fingertips. He doesn’t dare to look at Seokjin, doesn’t even bother closing his eyes. Not when Namjoon can still see the haunting image of a livid Taehyung behind his eyelids from just last night. Worse, when he opens them, Namjoon instead sees the dark bruises lining his own wrists. “But isn’t that our job, hyung?”

Seokjin scoffs, tapping the butt of his stick against a nearby ashtray. “‘Course it is,” He says, eyes burning bright despite the low light. In pity, in sadness, or in bitterness — Namjoon doesn’t want to know. “But we call them patients, Namjoon-ah, not our boyfriends.”

The look that shines through Namjoon’s eyes as he recalls his conversation with Seokjin from a long time back is nothing short of miserable. The fact that it’s even repeated today — not for the first time either — is also quite pathetic. Namjoon feels slightly bad for turning Seokjin into a broken record, his harsh words of truth never enough to wake Namjoon up from the hell he has purposely put himself in. Is constantly putting himself in.

Two and a half years of being with Taehyung and Namjoon is still nothing but a goddamn hypocrite who treats broken people when he himself is long burned down by the person he tried so hard to piece together.

Therapy wouldn’t even be enough to pull Namjoon out from this hellhole.

“Her n-name’s Minatozaki Jihyo and she’s… she’s having problems with her wife.” Namjoon answers, breaking another ethical code by disclosing private information. But if it meant that he wouldn’t have to replace another shattered frame in their wall today, then Namjoon will take it. “Her problems just touched a little too close t-to my boundaries, and I needed to ask Seokjin if he could take her instead.”

He didn’t know to tell his boyfriend that Jihyo was dealing with a paranoid spouse to the point of obsession. Just like Namjoon.

But, as expected, Taehyung didn’t buy it at all.

“Liar!” He abruptly yelled, punching the wall right beside Namjoon’s face, his eyes burning immensely with utter outrage again. “You’re a fucking liar, Namjoon-ah! I know you’re having an affair behind my back! I know you’re fucking with Seokjin in his office! I know, I fucking know!”

Tears are already falling from Namjoon’s eyes as Taehyung repeatedly slams his fist against the wall. “No—no! Please, T-Tae, calm down! I promise you, hyung and I are not having an affair! Please, listen to me—!”

A jealous growl escapes from Taehyung’s lips, voice loud enough to rattle even their neighbours from one floor above. “You’re lying! You’re always spending time with him! I was there after you clocked out today, Namjoon-ah, I followed you and you were with Seokjin for two whole hours. Why did you have to be there for so long if you just needed some stupid advice, huh? Tell me, do you honestly think I’m a fucking fool?!”

It should be goddamn piteous how Namjoon doesn’t even look surprised with the fact that Taehyung was there after work today, trailing after him like a service dog. Even though the irony of it all is that it’s Namjoon who’s tightly wrapped around Taehyung’s leech.

“—T-Tae!” Namjoon chokes out, eyes turning fearful at the unmistakable madness in Taehyung’s gaze. “I s-swear, I can promise you! I only l-love you, it’s only you—!”

“Fucking liar!” Taehyung slams his fist on the side of Namjoon’s head, so close to his ear, causing the psychologist to whimper. It has always been like this: Taehyung will never hurt Namjoon intentionally, his bodily inflictions along the lines of his fingers wrapping too tightly around Namjoon’s wrists, jaw, or sometimes, the base of his neck that’s enough to bruise. But, Taehyung will create far too much damage around him that is guaranteed to leave Namjoon in absolute ruins. “I’m not fucking stupid, Namjoon! You’re fucking another man and I know it!”

“Taehyung, n-no, wait—!”

Namjoon doesn’t get to say another word, not when Taehyung begins dragging him by his forearm all the way to their bedroom. All Namjoon can do is to follow him mindlessly, barely having the strength or courage to pull his arm away from his delirious boyfriend.

Taehyung pushes Namjoon down onto their mattress, straddling him before Namjoon can push himself up by his elbows.

“You’re fucking mine,” Taehyung grits out, one hand cupping Namjoon’s jaw tightly as the other grips his hair by the strands. “You’re mine, Namjoon, not Seokjin’s. Never Seokjin’s. You’re mine and you can never ever love another man besides me!”

“N-Never,” Namjoon agrees, trying to placate him, a swirl of fear creeping all the way from his tailbone up to his brain stem as a maniacal Taehyung hissed at his face. Nearly psychotic. “It’s only you, baby. I never want a-anyone else. Just you, Tae. O-Only you, I promise—please.”

Some of the anger fades in Taehyung’s eyes, but not the doubt. Never the doubt. “You’re just saying that,” He grits out. “But tell me, you’ve been fucking him, haven’t you? Does Seokjin fuck you in his office, Namjoon-ah? Does he bend you over his table and stick his cock inside your tight little hole that I fuck every night—in that same ass that belongs to me? Tell me, does Seokjin think he can touch you the way I do?!”

For the love of all things holy, Namjoon can never understand why Taehyung is so adamant that he and Seokjin will ever have anything besides a friendship. Namjoon understands that he has been friends with Seokjin before Taehyung ever came into the picture, and that he will always be Namjoon’s best friend, but only his best friend.

Perhaps all these insecurities began when Taehyung made Namjoon cut off his friendships with everyone else, but the only person Namjoon refused to do it with was Seokjin. Not his best friend. Not that his best friend would even allow it in the first place, but Namjoon had been adamant that Taehyung can take everyone away — Namjoon did indeed cut all of his friends off — except Seokjin.

Ever since then, Taehyung loathed Seokjin.

“I haven’t, Taehyung-ah, I—I wouldn’t want to, I s-swear,” Namjoon gulps, tears leaking from the inner corner of his eyes out of pure terror and nervousness. “There’s only one man i-in this world that I love, and that’s—that’s you, baby. Only you, Tae.”

Every word, though dripping with palpable fear, was the truth. Namjoon never understood why Taehyung had him this tight, why he couldn't get out of this phantom leech that felt more like his second skin now. But it’s the truth—the only truth Namjoon has ever known.

Namjoon loves Taehyung, and Taehyung is in love with him, too.

Even if the line between love and obsession has long been blurred.

“You know what the problem is with you, Namjoonie,” Seokjin grins mirthlessly, as if Namjoon didn’t already identify about 800 different problems with himself that could probably be enough to fill out another special edition of the DSM. “You’re as obsessed with Taehyung as he is with you.”

Namjoon’s eyes snap up to his hyung, lightly glaring at Seokjin’s slightly befogged face after his hyung just finished his third stick in just half an hour. “What do you mean, hyungie?”

“You don’t get it, do you?” Seokjin shakes his head. A part of him knows he shouldn’t be doing this: supposedly treating someone he has a personal relationship with. But ever since they were young, his Namjoonie has always been too beautiful and too special to be left alone and broken. “Taehyung is obsessed with you. His love for you is toxic: it ruins you more and more each day. But you, Namjoon-ah, you're in love with him in the same way, too. You’re obsessed with fixing him, thinking you can make him a better man. And you won’t give up, won’t you? You won’t give up until he gets better. Who cares if he’s hurting you? Who cares if he’s manipulative? You just want him to get better. Your love for him is too selfless whilst he’s too selfish. You just want your fucked up boyfriend to get better no matter the cost…”

Then and there, Namjoon feels totally bare. Naked. His best friend has showered with him more than once throughout their fifteen year long friendship, but not once did Namjoon feel so stripped down in front of Seokjin until this very moment. Namjoon gets defensive, but mostly sad. “But?”

Seokjin eyes him sympathetically, eyes tinted with something else Namjoon can’t decipher. “There’s no ‘but’, Namjoon-ah,” He puffs another smoke. “You’re simply obsessed with piecing Taehyung back together, even at the expense of your own self.”

Despite the reassuring words, Taehyung is still mistrustful. Not for the first time either.

“I can smell him on you,” Taehyung declares, nose tracing the golden skin of Namjoon’s neck. “You smell just like him and you want me to believe you’re not having an affair?”

Cigarettes. Namjoon is certain that all Taehyung’s nose could detect is the scent of menthol smoke coating Namjoon’s body. But when submerged in another manic episode, Taehyung’s rationality is already long lost. Instead, what lies in front of Namjoon is a jealous man that has long succumbed to his inner demons.

“But don’t I-I smell like strawberries more, baby?” Namjoon tries to reason, to call for that sane part of Taehyung back. “Like your favorites? Just like the body wash we share. I-I smell like you, Tae. I only smell like your—your favorite strawberries.”

Namjoon could sense the way Taehyung buried himself deeper against his collarbone, inhaling deeply until he could indeed smell the faint scent of their strawberry body wash. It’s there. Always been there.

It’s Namjoon’s favorite, too.

It works. “My baby,” Taehyung’s voice suddenly sweetens, his grip against Namjoon’s jaw loosening just a fraction. “You do smell so sweet, my beautiful angel. My only angel.”

Taehyung continues to maul his neck as Namjoon’s eyes stray to that spot on their ceiling, basically unmoving. Defenseless. The white paint is a little darkened now, thanks to years of wearing out, and his eyes could only focus on that cloud-shaped darkness as his buttons are harshly ripped apart by the man who claims to love him.

Namjoon knows tonight is going to hurt. Again.

He can’t do much about it, though, not when Namjoon’s body is already programmed to shut off. Namjoon can only lie there lifelessly, hopelessly, barely able to put his defenses up as Taehyung grips his limbs tightly, pushing his legs further apart to make room for himself. 

Not when Namjoon is already used to this.

Sometimes, Namjoon thinks he’s dissociating. When Taehyung’s lips trail down to his body, covering every inch of his golden skin that his boyfriend has long claimed to be his, Namjoon doesn’t feel a single thing anymore. Not pleasure, not pain, and certainly not love. But then, when Taehyung pushes his cock inside of him, without even stretching his hole and with an underwhelming amount of lube, Namjoon knows that he’s still here—that he’s right beneath his lucid boyfriend, Taehyung’s hands gripping his wrists in a tight, bruising hold.

The bruises Taehyung left from the last time weren’t even healed yet.

Most days, Namjoon wonders how he would ever get out of this phantom leech Taehyung has him in. If he would ever get out in the first place. Because even if there are tears leaking down Namjoon’s face, his lips systematically moan in pleasure as Taehyung fucks into him, claims him and kisses him like Namjoon’s sole purpose to exist was to simply be Taehyung’s. 

Namjoon is addicted to this as much as Taehyung was, even if it long stopped feeling good.

Seokjin said it isn’t his fault, that it was Taehyung who kept chaining Namjoon’s neck and the only way for Namjoon to finally get out of it is for him to pass Taehyung off to somebody who can really help him get better — someone who didn’t exactly have a personal relationship with him. Only then, did Seokjin say, will Namjoon finally be able to heal… once he’s free from the burden of Kim Taehyung.

But… Namjoon doesn’t really know when he’ll ever be free, he doesn’t even want to know how to be free. Taehyung doesn’t only have him by neck, he has Namjoon by his goddamn soul.

It’s only a matter of time, however, before one of them completely disintegrates and falls apart. But until then, Namjoon has this—wants this, at least he thinks so, as much as Taehyung did, and he’s even long past denying it. No matter how much it hurts, Namjoon still cries out in pleasure as Taehyung fucks one, or two, tonight it’s three orgasms out of him, his body looking like one gigantic bruise painted with some skin.

It feels as good as it hurts.

Selfishly and secretly, it brings Namjoon a certain gratification to know that he was the sole object of Taehyung’s desire—that his boyfriend would want nobody else but Namjoon alone. And Namjoon wants to capitalize on that, he wants to believe that this compulsion is what could ultimately help Taehyung become a better man. 

To someday stop him from hurting Namjoon, and to finally love him like the way Namjoon has always yearned to be loved. To finally stop Taehyung from being this obsessed and possessive freak and to turn into someone Namjoon can finally love and show off without any looming anxieties and trepidations.

He just wants to change Taehyung, even if Taehyung blatantly wants to turn Namjoon into his lapdog — to break him down until Namjoon is reduced into nothing but Taehyung’s possession.

Maybe (most definitely) Seokjin was right, Namjoon is as obsessed with Taehyung as much as Taehyung was obsessed with him.

After all, Namjoon would always pick the scent of strawberries over cigarettes on any given day.

FIN.

Chapter Text

Soooo, if you can remember from Chapter 3, I wrote "You Promised to Love Me" and I know, I'm evil for leaving you hanging, but someone finally commissioned me to write it in full and so here it is <3

You may find the full fic here! Or you can visit my account and search for "You Promised to Love Me".

You also don't have to read the one shot first, because the first chapter of the fic version is the polished version of that one shot so you can read it again. Love you all, and I'm sorry for taking so long and needing someone to commission me to actually finish it, but when I tell you that I've been so busy with comms and my job, I really mean it.

Please enjoy reading, mwah! Take care guys.