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Cindy's singing is what started it all. Her voice trying to replicate whatever she had last heard on the radio. The only difference was that it was much, much worse. Nugget wasn't used to hearing Cindy sing, even though she did it pretty often. He avoided her a majority of the time, for many reasons. Too loud, too mean to the Pretty Lily, too much to handle. So the Nugget Cave was where he hid. But now he was in class, and digging giant holes through the floorboards would get him in much more trouble than he needed. And he needed to sit down. Sit and stay. Like a dog.
Nugget was not a dog, Nugget was Nugget, and Nugget needed to move. And he did. He found somewhere in the corner, away from the windows, away from everyone, but still much too close. Nugget pressed his back against the wall. He knew that wouldn't push it away, push him away, or anything, but it was worth a try. Nothing happened.
He tried to focus on the spinning of his fidget spinner. Around and around and around it went. Usually that would block out the noise. Give him something else to focus on. That was what was supposed to happen. But Cindy got louder, and then somebody laughed, and then there were voices, more voices, from more people. And no one to tell them to quiet down. Stress twisted inside of him, that feeling he tried to avoid. It grew with every snicker and stare.
Until it was too big to handle. Nugget shut his eyes and tried to smooth out his hair, but he ended up tugging it. He should be taking deep breaths. He knew that. But he couldn't breathe. It felt like suffocating, or drowning, or whatever other ugly fate makes you feel like you're going to die and there's nothing you can do about it. The door was right there, hell, the window was walking distance. But he couldn't leave. Nugget didn't know if he could get up.
How unusual was this? To feel ever so trapped. He hadn't felt this way in a while. Nugget did not appreciate its return. He was separate from his body, stuck in his head, but still surrounded by noise. Noise. Noise. Everything was loud, everything made noise. His hands grabbed at the cuffs of his jeans. He liked that texture, rough yet nice against his hands, so he held it. It helped, just for a bit. But if he didn't calm down soon, he feared he would burst.
Nugget's eyes were directed towards the floor. He could recognize his classmates' shoes. It was a skill he learned for reasons he wasn't sure of. So he knew Lily, the Pretty Lily, was approaching him. Some small part of him wanted to look up and smile, but that part wasn't in control.
Then Lily sat down.
Nugget hummed. It was his way of saying hello when he was feeling this way. A sensory overload. Lily was like rain. Nugget liked rain, the sound of it, at least. A consistent pitter-patter. Always going down, until it didn't. Until the sun came out. He liked the smell of it, too, but he didn't like going out in the rain. His nuggets got soggy. The rain soaked him, the cuffs of his jeans, his socks, his shoes, his hair.
Penny was trying and failing to calm the other kids down. Doing that just made them louder, which Nugget thought would be the obvious outcome. They got louder just to yell over Penny. The cause didn't matter as much as the fact that they were yelling, and yelling loud.
Lily next to him felt comforting. A presence, a nice presence. One that didn't want to harm or yell. Not a threat. Actually, very, very welcome. The opposite of a threat.
Lily whispered. Her voice was like rain, too, constant and peaceful and sweet. "Can I touch you? Is that okay?" Her question was laced with hesitation, as her hands hovered just above Nugget where he suspected they would soon land. He nodded. Lily was one of the few people he let touch him, because she was good. She was just a walking, talking being of good. Nice and pretty and soft and good. He hoped she knew what he thought of her, because he couldn't show it as well as he wanted to. He wanted her to know she was good.
Lily's touch was good. Touching was good, but some people's touch felt like acid against his skin. Some people felt like spider legs. Some people hurt. Some people felt good, and Lily's touch felt soft and nice and friendly and loving. So, good.
Carefully, Lily hugged Nugget.
Her chest rose and fell as she breathed. Breathing was a constant reminder of the fact that, well, Lily wasn't dead. Nugget wasn't dead. A lot was happening, had happened, would happen. But they breathed air and that was it.
Nugget didn't think about it too much. He stuck to the basics: Lily was alive. So Nugget was alive too.
Her hand touched his hair, and the other one just pulled him in closer, and Nugget let himself fall into her. It was safe with Lily. Lily was safety. Lily was trust. Lily was good. The voices hadn't faded, they were there, but it was himself that changed. Yet every loud noise would still strike him.
It went on that way. He heard some snickers. He knew they were directed towards Lily. Lily was hugging him, and he wasn't...well, they didn't like him. And they didn't like Lily. But Lily was good, he was good. It confused him.
Every noise that the others would make, Lily would feel Nugget tense up, and run a hand through his hair gingerly, or hum. She knew how to help him. Not cure him, not save him completely, yet it helped.
Nugget's arms were wrapped tightly around her. They were small enough to fit into each other like puzzle pieces. Nugget's head rested on her shoulder, he could nearly feel her heart beating, and her arms still kept him within their hug. Good hug, nice hug, warm hug, and if it broke he feared he would, too.
It took a long time for them to slowly ease away from each other. Class was over, students left in packs, leaving just Nugget and Lily. Just them. Lily didn't get to her feet immediately. She waited. She turned to Nugget and asked, in a soft voice, if he was ready to go.
Again, he nodded. So she rose, and he rose too, uneasy on his feet. Lily helped him keep his balance.
They went. They stayed close. They didn't separate, and Nugget really only felt better when Billy came, too, and Kid. It was comforting. People. Good people.
And most importantly, Lily.