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Chapter Text

Severus had one friend before Lily. One. Not even a very good one at that, he'd think back later. But then again, how good a friend could you expect a ghost that didn't know it was a ghost to be? He must have been about four when he encountered the spirit for the first time; he could remember the day very well in fact. He remembered how his mother's stomach had been swelled and his father drunk and violent had chased him from their home and into the yard where he'd plopped down to wait out the screaming that was coming from inside his home.

With a little more thought, Severus could recall how this was shortly before he had his first big fit of accidental magic, when his father thought his mother was the only freak in the household. But in the evening lights, he'd plucked flowers from dewy grass and repeated to himself the snatches of things mother said under her breath during the day.

"-dunderhead of a father-"

Pluck.

"-wish I could hex him-"

Pluck.

"-if we had the money-"

Pluck.

Severus grunted then and his hand came to wrap around the slim stem of a weed-flower, but before he pulled it, a curiously see-through person was in front of him. She was pretty. With long hair and dressed in one of those turn-of-the-century pinafores. She was making everything cold though, and Severus was quick to find he didn't like it.

He was cold enough from the evening air and from the shivers he got when his mummy and da would fight.

"Who're you?" He demanded with a scowl.

But she just smiled and knelt beside him, reaching for the flowers around them. As he expected (because she was a ghost), her fingers went right through the off-white petals; unhappily she tried again and then again. A frown overtook her pleasant features and Severus knew things were going to get worse if she got more upset. So with all the tact a four year old possessed, he asked;

"Why're you tryin' to pick flowers?"

She looked up then, transparent tears on her cheeks. "You're dead." He told her. "Ghosts can't pick flowers!" He exclaimed when her mouth opened, it was weird that she didn't know she couldn't pick flowers. If the bigger kid had been dressed a little more like the girls he saw at the stores and outside when he walked to the park, he might have thought she hadn't been dead all that long and simply didn't know all that she couldn't do; but the clothes she wore were like the ones he saw in some picture books about the "old days" as his mum sometimes called them.

"NO!" She shrieked, the wind rippling with her anger. "NOT Dead!"

Severus blinked at her. She didn't know...? He would have helped her see she was dead, he thought, if he hadn't been so scared at the time. So, instead he bobbed his head in agreement. "Sorry," he whispered; "I was wrong."

The ghost calmed down at this. Smiling once again, offering a hand to him to take him to-he didn't know. But before he could accept it, a terrifying wail from his home made him jolt. Looking at the girl-ghost and then his house, Severus said to her; "That's my mummy." She looked confused and then back at where she'd come. "I gotta go, she might need me to phone the hospital."

And if fact, she would need him to phone the hospital because his father had walked out and she was bloody all the way down her skirt. Later, of course, he'd learn she lost the only sibling he ever had the chance of having and Severus would never know if he should feel grateful his father killed the poor babe before it could suffer any more or angry that his sibling never had a chance to see the stars or stir a potion.

(He figured feeling a little of both was probably the best thing to do once he grew up some).

When the boy he had once been had gone back outside, the ghost had gone. Feeling a little disappointed she left so soon, Severus had plucked a small bouquet of weed-flowers for her and laid them out nicely on the windowsill. Unsure how to let her know to he wanted to see her again, he just put his small hands to his mouth and called to the forest edge;

"Come back! I want to see you again, okay?!"

She didn't come back right then, or even the day after and Severus knew he had been upset about this; but it wouldn't last long and soon enough, he'd be wishing she'd just leave him alone altogether. It wasn't until the end, though, that he knew her name. And then he'd stop being surprised by things he hadn't known and instead, Severus would laugh. Laugh himself into the other side of the veil with her hanging on to his hand as a child half her age would as they took the uncomplicated journey together.

She'd been scared and he'd been tired.

Neither had expected the welcome they got and maybe it was better that way. Severus would have stayed behind to become a spirit as the girl was and she would have been stuck by his side for an eternity longer.

Chapter Text

Traipsing underneath broken street lamps and an all but lightless night sky, the houses he knew so well in the daylight were a different beast; no longer did they just appear shabby and sad, now they were oddly lit by their occupants and the shadows caused by their inner light had made them sinister. Frightening. If Severus Snape were a different child, one raised in a wholesome, caring family; he might have been truly terrified by the houses.

But instead, he was a boy raised in strife so he knew what was truly terrifying and what was simply trickery. Kicking at an odd beer bottle as he walked, Severus began to sing a little ditty he'd learned whilst he was in school; "...The grand old Duke of York.." clatter. "...Marched them up..." clank. "...And when they were down, they were down..." clonk. "...Neither up or down!" With a sudden surge of frustration, he kicked the bottle far away. He didn't quite understand, but he was mad. Like really, really, mad! He should be used to having to leave his home when his da got in one of his moods...but still, it just wasn't fair!

Somewhere, a cat yowled and a few lights lit different parts of homes. Heart thump-thumping in his chest, Severus dove into one of the spots of darkness and crouched in on himself. He didn't want one of the neighbors to see him and call his da; that would end very badly for him. It would be even worse than the welts and bruises he had now.

Looking up after a while, he was startled into yelling by the sight in front of him. It was the ghost. The one from when he was little. Blinking wide eyes at her, he asked; "Where'd you come from?"

She smiled and made no indignation that she heard, let alone understood his question. Frowning at her, he said, "you know, I waited a long time for you to come back!"

Her head tilted then, as if she was confused.

"Don't tell me you don't know who I am anymore!" He huffed unhappily as he stood up. "You visited me at my house last time, 'member? I was four then."

Her pale face was surprised and she reached out, and at first, Severus thought she was recognizing him; however that only lasted long enough for him to feel the cold of her fingers go through his swollen eye.

"Hey!" He snapped. "You can't just touch people without askin' first!" And with that said, Severus jerked back.

Eyes watering, the ghost whispered; "h-hurt..."

"Yeah, yeah," the boy agreed. "It's nothing, okay? I've gotten worse. At least this time my da wasn't holding one of his beer bottles when he swung at me for being too loud."

"No!" She cried unhappily. "No hurt! No hurt!" And she curled into herself then; rocking on the dirty ground of Spinner's End. For the first time since he was four, Severus watched her with bewilderment; he hadn't understood enough about the world then, but now he was beginning to think she was idiotic. A simpleton. Maybe that's why she'd said she wasn't dead. Maybe the ghost just didn't know dead from being alive and that's why she hadn't gone to the other side.

Severus gradually crouched down beside the ghost. "Hey," he whispered; "d'you want to do somethin'?"

The ghost looked up then. Eyes filled with pale tears. Encouraged, the boy babbled on. "Yeah? We could go to the park up the street! They have swings an-nah, how about down by the river? It's not got much but...you know what?" She gazed at him, eyes curious and wanting. "Let's go and find one of the flower patches to pick flowers. I can make a bouquet just for you."

She smiled fully at him then. Getting up from her crouch, she laughed and clapped her hands. "Flowers! Oh flowers, yes please!"

"Pickin' flowers it is!" Severus chortled. "Now, c'mon; I saw a nice field this way earlier..."

At first, she'd sort of been upset that she wasn't able to pick the daisies and irises herself; but after a bit of quick talking, Severus managed to calm the ghost down and get her to agree to him picking the ones she pointed at. After a while, he had a nice sized bouquet; holding it out to her, he inquired "is this good enough?"

Face calm and humming, the girl attempted to run her fingers over the petals with little success. Unlike before, though, she just smiled and murmured "so pretty..."

A sudden idea coming to him, Severus questioned the ghost. "If I lay these out on my window, will you be able to find my house tomorrow?" At her perplexed face, he backtracked to say; "If you're gonna be 'round t'morrow, anyway."

Looking up then with a happy grin, she nodded. "I can find them! They're my flowers!"

"Great!" The boy replied relieved. He wanted to play with her more tonight, but it was late and he had school in the morning..."I'm real sorry, but I have to go now."

Her face fell. "Why? Why go? Can't you come with me?" And she reached for him again, as she had earlier in the evening.

Stepping out of her range, Severus shook his head. "No," he told her. "I have school t'morrow and if I don't go they'll get angry with me an' my mum." Thinking of the welts on his back and the still aching bruise, Severus knew he couldn't allow that. When people got angry at them, da got furious and that was even worse. His mum didn't need to get hurt 'cause of him. So with that in mind, he attempted to turn around.

"NO!" The girl shrieked. She was in front of him then and Severus got scared. What if she tried to hurt him?

Despite his knocking knees, the boys frowned severely. "I have to," he explained. "If I don't, my mum could get hurt. You don't want anyone to get hurt, d'you?"

She froze then, panic in her eyes evident. "No hurt! No one hurt!" She cried worried.

"Then I have to go," Severus insisted as he ignored the pounding of his own heart. Could ghosts kill you? Could the spirit you off like the fae did in the old times? So many things he didn't know. So many things he might not ever know if he didn't convince the ghost.

The girl looked teary-eyed once more, but with a reluctant nod, stepped back. "Okay," she agreed. Looking at Severus then with searching eyes, she questioned; "See you tomorrow?" And she pointed to the flowers still in the boy's arms.

"Uh-huh," Severus agreed. He was not going to break a promise to her, even if she kind of scared him. "But remember, I got school the day after t'morrow too; so we can't play all night, alright?"

She nodded and with a sudden sunny look to her pale face, she leaned in and put a intangible kiss to his cheek. "Tomorrow," she happily declared. "Goodbye!" And with that, let the boy begin the walk back to his home.

Chapter Text

Looking out his window, Severus wondered if she would come or if she'd forgotten him again. Deciding now was the best time to find out, he took the flowers he'd picked the night previous and laid them down on the windowsill. Her appearance was instantaneous.

There she stood, grinning with eyes large and dewy.

"Hullo!" She exclaimed.

Rubbing his eyes with a fist, Severus managed to croak; "H-Hi."

The ghost ran her fingers through the flowers and said "I found them."

"You did," Severus whispered.

Looking at him then, she cocked her head and inquired "We play?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. Then, a bit of excitement spurting through him; he said louder "Yeah! Lemme just get changed!"

And the boy scrambled back to his closet and ripped out his favorite pair of jeans and an okay sweater to put on. From the window, the ghost waited patient; her fingers attempting to caress the wilting petals of the bouquet she had Severus pick for her last night.

Before going back to his window, Severus looked to his bedroom door. Da was sleeping in his and mum's bedroom tonight, so he shouldn't come thrashing about to see if the boy was in bed sleeping like he should be...but he dashed forward and locked the door.

Better safe than sorry, Severus knew.

After finishing his task, he returned to the ghost girl who glanced at him.

"What will we play?" She questioned with exuberance.

Nudging the flowers aside as he pulled himself up the windowsill, Severus let his feet dangle over the dead flowers beneath his window and considered her question. What could they play? He felt her physical state cut out many kind of games, from leap frog, to cats cradle; Severus also feared the idea of playing hide-and-seek; what if she disappeared then? What if his only friend didn't come back again for years and years?
Finally, with great reluctance, he decided on something Severus hoped would still be fun with just the two of them and would not lead her to disappear. "How about tag?"

She clapped her hands, Severus found it rather funny because they didn't make a noise at all.

"Oh yes! Oh yes!" She laughed whilst Severus jumped down from his window.

On the ground, he swiped his hand through her and half-shouted "You're it!" And then went running around the corner of his house.

The ghost girl gave a delighted giggle and when Severus took a peak backwards, he saw that she wasn't all that far behind. Grinning, he took them off his family's lawn and down the road.

After about half a street, he felt the chilly touch of her hand on his neck and swerved so he was facing her now.

"Can't get me! Can't get me!' The girl chanted as she nearly danced around the street in circles. The boy was determined to catch her, but she seemed to be quite right; he couldn't touch her. Not only was she a ghost, but she was taller and older and his little child strides simply weren't conducive to him tagging her. After a while, he decided being a little devious couldn't hurt and stopped to point at something that didn't exist in the distance.

"Look!" He gasped.

Her head whipped around and he took the chance and darted forward; handing dipping into her. "Ha!" Severus proclaimed as he ran them back toward his home; the morning sun's pinks just beginning to bleed into the gray skies of Spinner's End.

Once in his backyard for a second time, Severus let the ghost tag him.

"I win!" She shouted as she bounced up and down in her joy.

The boy didn't agree, but it was nice to see her smiling at him. It was nice to have someone smile at him at all. "You sure did!" He chortled.

"You go to sleep now?" The ghost inquired with some sadness in her inflection.

Severus pointed to the sky. "I gotta, in a coupla hours I bet school starts."

"Oh-oh," she warbled. "Goodnight, goodnight," she babbled as she leaned in and put another of her icy kisses to his cheek. "I will see you again!" She proclaimed.

The boy nodded. "You bet! Just look for your flowers!"

Her eyes went to the dying things shoved into one corner of the windowsill. She leaned over to pet them. "I will," she agreed.

"T'morrow then?" He inquired hopeful.

Her resolute nod was all he needed and Severus scrambled up and over his windowsill.

"G'night!"

She smiled and disappeared.

Severus scratched his chin, wondering where it was she went and then yawned into his sleeve before tumbling into his bed without care for the fact he was wearing day clothes and not the pajamas his mum had laid out for him to put on after his bath last night. Tuckered out, sleep captured Severus easily and deeply.

"Get up!"

Severus shot up to see his da glaring down at him.

"Y-Yessir," he agreed as he scrambled out of his blankets.

Giving him a once over, the tall man grabbed his arm and gave him a fierce shake. "Why the hell are you dressed like this! What the fuck were you doing you little shit!"

Trembling, Severus didn't think his mouth would cooperate; but somehow, he was able to whisper "I-I was cold and-"

A hand slapped him.

"Don't lie to me you little piece of shit!" Reaching around, he waved the ghost girl's flowers in front of his face. "What, did you go and pick flowers in the full moon!? These better not be for any of that magic crap!"

The boy clenched his jaw. "No sir," he answered. "I just went and picked 'em for mum..."

His da slapped him. Hard. "I'm not raising you to be a little poof! I see you pick flowers or if so much as think you've been picking flowers like a little crybaby girl you'll get the belt!"

Holding back the sting of tears, Severus nodded and watched as his da dropped them on the ground and crushed them beneath his boot. "Clean that up," he hissed at the boy.

Dropping to his knees, Severus began to do so.

The man grunted something before he left.

But the boy didn't care as he stared at the ruined flowers. His friend may never visit him again now that her beacon was gone, biting back a bitter sob, Severus did his best to scrap the flowers off the ground with only his hands.

Chapter Text

Severus had only been friends with Lily for a month when he took the risk of going to her house in the middle of the night. Da had already ransacked his room after coming home from the pub and given him a good wallop while he was at it. That didn't even take into account the yelling that had been going on in his parents' bedroom for the past hour before he decided it was too much and opened his window to hightail it out of there.

Walking down the street of Spinner's End, he does his best to avoid the puddles of water from the evening's storm and tucks his chin into his scarf to ward off the bite of the cold wind streaming down the street.

Turning his head, Severus wished for something warmer to wear. A jacket that fit, perhaps. Not just this scarf and jumper mum had gotten from the charity box at one of the churches downtown. Looking at the gray and yellow wool of his sweater, Severus sent a quick apology to the god of that church. He was very thankful for this jumper. It had no holes, it was of good quality and good make and it wasn't too short in the torso! Many of his shirts had gotten too short in the torso since his last growth spurt and Severus knew he should be grateful for the few that weren't...

Continuing his walk, he hardly realized someone had come up beside him until another bitter gust caused him to turn his face. When he did so, he saw it was his old friend! The ghost girl who he played tag with at age seven and had wanted to take him away at age four. With a few more years experience, Severus had to wonder why he hadn't let her when he was so small. He had been upset that night, he knew, and anything would have been better than to stay in his yard with his parents yelling inside.

"Hullo!" He cried in surprise.

The ghost girl turned her head and cocked her head to the left, a smile tugging at her lips.

Shaking his head, Severus wondered if she recognized him. A couple years had passed since her last visit and he had grown some. He was quite tall these days, ungainly limbs, knobby joints and all.

"It's Severus! 'member how we played tag and picked flowers?"

The ghost furrowed her pretty brow and then gave a decisive nod as the struggle of remembering was conquered. Reaching out with eyes fond and equally relieved, she whispered as her cold fingers brushed his chin "Flower boy."

Severus didn't quite like the moniker, but he supposed it could be worse. At least it wasn't an insult. So, he grinned and agreed to her description "That's right."

"What we do now?" The ghost girl inquired.

Looking to the sky, Severus made a decision. "I'm too tired to play tonight, but would you like to keep me company 'til morning? I'm sure I can find shelter in the park under the slide..."

"No house?"

Giving a sigh that was probably too heavy for a child of his age, Severus murmured "No house t'night."

Grabbing his hand with her frigid, non corporeal fingers she let him take lead and he felt grateful. It had been quite sometime since he'd last been in control of anything and what better than his sleeping spot for the night?

As they walked together, boy and ghost, he told her about Lily. "I got this friend," he started. "She's really vi-va-cious, fun too, you'd like her."

"Fun?" The ghost girl parroted, interest peaked.

Giving a quick nod, Severus went on "Uh-huh. If you show up again t'morrow or so I can take you to meet her - maybe."

"Okay!" His companion agreed easily.

Seeing the park, he pointed to the slide. "There's where I am to sleep." Looking up at his ghost friend's face he asked "Will you stay with me 'til morning?"

She smiled. "Of course."

Walking over the pebbles that made up the park, Severus hunkered down beneath the rusting metal and took comfort in how the ghost did the same. Feeling tiredness tug at his eyes, Severus slurred "Keep watch, 'kay? Don't wanna police 'ficer to find me..."

If he had seen how warmly her eyes glowed, Severus may have wondered if she was alive once more, but he did not and so could only sigh his peace when he felt her slowly growing familiar kiss on his temple.

"Night..."

"Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite."

And Severus slept.

He woke up with dawn warming his backside and no one at his side, but that was okay. He was getting older and knew not to expect his ghost friend to be with him in the light of day. She was a nighttime secret like what went on between adults and animals and the secret friend only he could no about lest they send him away to a "hospital" for odd little boys.