Chapter Text
September 20th, 2019
Soldiers flooded the room, circling the two boys. Tim held a sleek machine to his chest, grasping it with an almost protective sense. Damian had a ball of fluff in his arms that seemed to be moving. They stood back to back as the men advanced. The smaller growled at their approach.
"It was an honor, Robin," the tall boy spoke, shifting the machine underneath one arm so he could grab his bo-staff with the other.
"I suppose you weren't half-bad, Red Robin," the other spoke as he put the fluff ball on his shoulder and drew his katanas. "You are not the last person I would choose to die with me here."
"Thanks? I guess?"
"Put down your weapons and surrender or we will open fire," One of the soldiers yelled, raising his gun. The others followed suit. The boys just smiled before they jumped into the fray.
September 18th, 2019
"I cannot believe you, Drake. I am aware that you have almost no standards, but this might be an all-new low for you," Damian scoffed. Tim was lying on the floor of his room, surrounded by a dozen mugs with a varying amount of coffee in them and fifteen different Monster drinks and five-hour energies. There was a bag of chips next to his leg and his computer was turned to full brightness in the darkroom. The curtains were shut and the only thing he was wearing was a pair of stained sweatpants and one of Superboy's t-shirts. Tim's hair was tied back using a glittery scrunchy and he had a red hairband holding the remaining strands out of his eyes.
A page titled "Proper Naruto Running Techniques" was pulled up on the screen. "I'm studying, Demon Brat. Go bother Bruce," Tim mumbled, his eyes glued on the screen. Damian scoffed, sitting in the empty chair next to Tim's unused desk.
"What exam requires you to research an anime?" Damian asked. Tim finally drew his eyes from the screen to look at Damian. he had deep bags under his eyes, but Damian had never seen him so happy. Well, maybe happy isn't the right word, more like maniacal.
"Not an exam, a raid," Tim said firmly.
"A raid?"
"A raid," Tim repeated as if that explained everything.
"And what exactly do you plan on...raiding?" Damian asked, almost dreading the answer. Tim grinned, before turning back to his computer and opening another tab.
"Area 51," He said while gesturing to the Facebook page. Damian didn't bother reading it as he had already deemed it ridiculous.
"For one, Drake, a weakling such as you would not be able to even get past the first defenses, unlike someone of my skill. Secondly, why would you want to raid Area 51?" Damian scoffed. He leaned back in the chair and looked up at the opposite wall where various pictures of Tim with others like Kon, Cassie, Bart, Dick, Jason, Cass, and Stephanie were hung up. Damian even saw one of him and Tim at the zoo near the bottom of the pictures. Dick had dragged them to the zoo after he found out that Jon was with his father on a mission for a month and Damian had no one to spend time with. Tim tagged along, not wanting to be left alone in the house while Bruce was gone.
Tim looked him straight in the eyes with a scary intensity and a wide smirk. "To see them aliens," Tim said. Damian's eyebrows shot up.
"Isn't your boyfriend an alien?" Tim just shrugged.
"Yeah, but like... I wanna get one of those classic tiny grey aliens. Kon and I can keep it and train it in our memeing ways."
"No one cares about your memeing ways"
"I care!" Tim protested.
"No one important cares," Damian corrected.
"Hey remember the Golden Rule! 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' an' all that," Tim said, turning back to his computer. Damian got up out of the chair and sat next to Tim on the floor.
"I thought Father's rule was too never kill?" Damian asked. Tim snorted and didn't answer. Damian scowled, standing back up. He grabbed the door handle. "This is idiocy, I am informing Father of your plans to raid Area 51."
"Go ahead, but you'll lose your chance," Tim said cryptically. Damian narrowed his eyes, his hand lowering to his side.
"Chance?" Tim smirked.
"Yeah, brat. You said that I wouldn't even get past the first defenses and that you could. I, frankly, don't believe you. This is your shot to prove me wrong, I mean if you can get us past level one then you would really show me. But if I went and succeded, it would be pretty embarrassing for you. Besides, Cass was supposed to go with me, but she bailed." Damian was quiet for a moment, debating Tim's words.
"I will show you, Drake, that I am indeed the superior here," Damian snarled before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him. His hasty exit caused him to miss the satisfied expressions on Tim's face that meant he got exactly what he wanted.
September 20, 2019
Standing in front of the base, Tim knew he should feel at least a little nervous, but the only emotion he had was a giddy excitement. He adjusted his grip on his Bo Staff and glanced at Damian. His little brother was feigning disinterest, but Tim could already see him trying to figure out the best way in. Jokes on him, Tim came prepared. He's already developed multiple possible entries and exit points as well as pinpointing the areas where the important stuff was most likely kept. He also had Jason covering for them, considering he was the expert at lying to Bruce.
People were standing at random campsites around the border. Tim and Damian were getting a few looks, but they weren't the strangest people here by far. If Tim squinted, he could see Wally West, Donna Troy, and Roy Harper. Wally was pacing in anticipation, Donna was stretching, and Roy was on the phone. If they dopey smile and blush on his face was any indicator, he was talking to Jason. Tim was certain there were other heroes here, but he didn't see any at the moment.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Damian asked impatiently. Tim turned to face him. The boy was scowling and glaring at Tim.
"A distraction," Tim answered. Damian made a confused noise, but Tim ignored him, turning back to face the crowds of people. People started to rise and the camps were sparked into movement as people started to make their way towards the border. The guards stationed there started shifting nervously.
With a mighty roar, the crowds surged forward. Tim reached out and grabbed Damian's hand, dragging his little brother behind him as he made his way towards a less guarded section of the border. Damian yanked his hand out of Tim's grip but followed him nevertheless.
Reaching into his belt, Tim tossed a few smoke bombs at the remaining guards. Both he and Damian slipped past them, allowing themselves a quick look at the absolute madness going on over near the crowd.
They made their way towards the facility, taking down anybody they came across. The disabled the alarm system with ease, sneaking in one of the side doors. They encountered two government agents, both of whom Damian took out while Tim rewired the alarm.
"See, Drake. I told you that you wouldn't get past the first defense without me," Damian looked so smug that Tim couldn't help but laugh.
"Damian, Batcow could've gotten past this, you didn't do anything that I couldn't have." Damian sighed like Tim was an immature child that claimed to know everything after two full days of school.
"Sure, Drake. You should continue telling yourself that."
They made their way through the facility using Tim's map, facing lasers, robots, and soldiers with the aim of a Storm Trouper. It was vaguely concerning that one of the most famous US Bases had such dismal security. Tim would be a fool not to use the 'My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable' meme right now. He thought this would be a challenge, but at this point, taking down Condiment Kind would've been easier.
They steadily approached a large door. It was the entrance to one of the governments top security vaults. Well, maybe security is a bit of a strong word considering the defense they had here.
Tim drew a cord from his gloves and plugged it into the keypad, waiting for his virus to let them in. He found this to be pointless because not even a second later the door slammed open, debris flying everywhere. He whirled around to find Damian holding a detonator.
"You were taking too long," He said, before stepping over the door to enter the room. Tim glared at him.
"When did you learn to use explosives?"
"Tt, obviously Todd taught me. Father had to leave town for a mission and he must have thought someone needed to watch me. Which is untrue, I can handle myself. Despite that fact, he called Todd anyway and we spent the weekend blowing up abandoned buildings. The destruction was quite enjoyable," Damian said as if he were talking about a fishing trip or something mundane.
"You have problems, both of you," Tim muttered under his breathe. Damian must've heard him because he flipped him the bird. Another thing he must have learned from Jason.
Tim opened his mouth to speak but fell silent when the items within the vault came into view. Thousands of different pieces of tech were carefully cataloged and stored. The walls were lined with cages with different aliens in them. Tim didn't see any of the classic green or grey ones, but that didn't deter his awe. Damian approached the cages while Tim walked towards the tech horde.
"This is inhumane, the way they keep them," Damian said, frowning.
"Well, technically, they aren't human. SO it isn't inhumane. But, yeah that's pretty bad," Tim conceded, painstakingly drawing his eyes of a glistening grapnel gun. The cages were small and he couldn't see any food or water in them. The creature didn't look humanoid, like most aliens Tim has come into contact with. They looked more like space pets. The fur on the ones with hair was matted and dirty. Tim could see the rids of most of them.
Damian walked over to the control panel, his hands floating above the switches. A strange look was on his face.
"What are you doing?" Damian was quiet for a moment before he responded.
"I am going to free them," He stated. Tim raised his eyebrows but didn't protest. Damian slammed his hand down on a big red button and light started flashing in the room. The cage doors swung open and the animals flooded out. Tim had to jump onto one of the shelves to avoid being trampled, Damian doing something similar with the control panel. Minutes passed and the flashing red lights didn't stop, but eventually, the crowd of creatures started to thin as the stampeded out the broken door.
Tim started to climb down but stopped when a glint of metal caught his eyes. What seemed like a regular microwave was settled on the shelf, but the card in front of it says otherwise. He couldn't believe his eyes, it was a microwave that warms the food, not the bowl. Tim nearly went into shock, but grabbed the microwave anyway and finished his descent towards the ground.
Damian approached him and apparently he too had found something. It was a tiny yellow ball of fluff. Tim was about to ask Damian why he decided to kidnap a pom pom, but then a head poked out from the fluff. The entire thing unraveled and suddenly the image of those annoying snake-like fluff things you found in the shop inside Cracker Barrel flashed in his mind. It made a chirping sort of noise as it moved from around Damian's hand.
"I've named him Severus Snake," Damian said with absolute seriousness. If Tim wasn't holding the most beautiful piece of machinery he's ever seen, he would've fallen to the ground laughing. He knew that Dick had forced Damian to read the Harry Potter books in an attempt to catch him up on pop culture, but this was too good.
"Okkkkkkkk..." Tim turned from Damian, about to head towards the door and away from this joke when he heard footsteps.
Soldiers flooded the room, circling the two boys. Tim held a sleek machine to his chest, grasping it with an almost protective sense. Damian had a ball of fluff in his arms that seemed to be moving. They stood back to back as the men advanced. The smaller growled at their approach.
"It was an honor, Robin," the tall boy spoke, shifting the machine underneath one arm so he could grab his bo-staff with the other.
"I suppose you weren't half-bad, Red Robin," the other spoke as he put the fluff ball on his shoulder and drew his katanas. "You are not the last person I would choose to die with me here."
"Thanks? I guess?"
"Put down your weapons and surrender or we will open fire," One of the soldiers yelled, raising his gun. The others followed suit. The boys just smiled before they jumped into the fray.
The sheer amount of guards threw Tim off, but he still threw his punches as if the world was ending to protect the microwave. Damian was doing the same, nearly taking a guy's head off for touching Severus Snake. Thankfully he only incapacitated him, it would be hard to explain to Bruce the events that led to Damian breaking his most beloved no killing rule.
The soldiers were quickly taken care off. After tying them up, Tim and Damian made a hasty escape, not wanting to endanger the new loves of their lives.
Tim couldn't wait to tell Cass about what she missed out on.