Chapter Text
Oh, there were things he wanted to say to the man, too many things. Things like maybe, the Grandmaster had fucked him so good that he almost said that he loved him. Dangerous to have such thoughts, but Loki let himself think them. After all, it was the dead of night. And as he had learned from his life, it was a forgiving time to escape into his mind.
He lay in silence in the man's bedroom, in the man's arms. The gentle rise and fall of his chest told Loki that he was sleeping. (Although, Loki sensed that the Grandmaster didn't really require sleep.
His skin still felt so warm from the night they had. His head was still in a cloud of euphoria from the pleasures they shared. But his soul felt strange.
The man stirred in bed next to him, and his eyes flickered open. He held still when the Grandmaster smiled and slipped a warm hand through Loki's black hair spread out onto the pillow.
"Well, what a nice thing to wake up to." The man whispered. Loki cursed his heart, which had skipped a beat ever so slightly at the sound of the Grandmaster's voice. It had never done that before, so why for this one?
"Grandmaster, I apologize if I woke you." Loki said, slipping on the smile he used when he wished to appear polite. It seemed though, that the Grandmaster could see through it.
"Hey, are you, are you okay?"
Loki stopped smiling. The Grandmaster sighed and tucked the sheets tighter around them.
"You know, if something's worrying you, you can always tell me. If it's something embarrassing, well I get that, you can keep it to yourself, uh." The man paused, then picked up. "But I'd really like to help you if I could."
Norns, he seemed so sincere. But Loki wasn't ready to test it out just yet.
"No need. You've done enough for me already." Loki told him. The Grandmaster seemed to mull this over, until his face lit up.
"You know what? I'll tell you a secret. That way, I'll always owe you for, um, for listening. Okay, I think I know which one I'll tell you." The Grandmaster declared, still smiling brightly. "My name's En Dwi Gast."
"Your name? Is it really such a big secret?" Loki asked. The Grandmaster, no, En, nodded solemnly in response.
"I haven't told anyone that for, let's see, for a few thousand years."
Loki gazed back into En's eyes, and maybe it was the dark, but did he see a bit of sadness?
"Thank you for telling me, En." Loki smiled, this time for real.
"You're the only one I'd tell it to." En said back. "You're something real, special, you know? You color me blue."
When he saw the look of alarm on Loki's face, En smiled sheepishly and laughed. "Oh, uh, not in the way you're thinking of. You see," he cupped Loki's face in his hand, "where I was from, blue was the color of happiness. Not to mention, it's also my favorite color."
Loki couldn't help it, he laughed at the absurdity of it with a light heart. At that moment, he was tempted to tell En all the things that he was thinking of before. En laughed too, and they drew each other closer, savoring the touch of the other.
That night, before he drifted off to sleep again, Loki's last conscious thought was one of the confessions that, if he had been brave enough, would have told En.
"Thank you. Thank you for holding me without hurting me. You're the first who ever did."
🌟
He watched the planet grow smaller and smaller as the ship sped away. Back to Asgard, back to all of the messy, tangled relationships and situations that he had been caught up in all his life.
It was a sad life, but for a few wonderful months, Loki had had someone who was his once in a lifetime.
"You color me blue." Loki whispered, his face pressed up against the porthole.
"You color me blue."