Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Midoriya Izuku had a quirk.

His mother knew. She’d always known. But no one else.

He couldn’t trust anyone else.

Turn right.

Izuku listened, sharply turning into a nearby alleyway, panting, lungs screaming and legs burning. He heard yelling from behind him, shouting at him for him to stop, but he wouldn’t. Turning another corner, Izuku jumped, grabbing a hold of a pipe and climbing his way up a building, hoisting himself up onto the roof, taking a moment to catch his breath.

His ears pricked as he listened to the sounds of footsteps draw near, heart pounding, before slowly fading away, indicating that they hadn’t seen him. He let out a quiet sigh, rolling his sore shoulder in a vain attempt to ease the pain.

Man, they’re so stupid! A voice cackled in his mind, high pitched and clearly insane.

Enough, Hatter. Izuku is clearly tired. The voice from before chided lightly, sounding just as tired as Izuku felt.

Hatter clicked his tongue. Tch, you’re no fun, Doc.

Doctor ignored him, turning his attention back to Izuku. You should get home. Inko is probably worried sick.

Izuku grunted, not bothering to answer the strict persona with words.

Izu, why not let me take over, ne? I’ll get you home lickety-split~ A third voice chimed, baby blue eyes staring at him widely.

“‘M fine, Kyro.” Izuku mumbled, stumbling to stand up.

Doctor frowned. I’m inclined to agree with Kyro. You’re clearly too tired to be doing this yourself.

“‘M fine!” Izuku hissed, stubbornly running and hopping from roof to roof, foot clipping the edge of one and causing him to fall flat on his face.

Yeah, no, you’re not. Kyro.

On it!

And before Izuku could refute, he was forcibly kicked from control and watched, pouting, as his hair went from a forest green to an icy blue almost white, changing style and length to a half shaved, slightly longer and straighter look. A scar formed under his left eye and Kyro rummaged through the pockets of his outfit and pulled out a bandage, placing it over his nose, and pulled out another one, this one a large square white one, and placed it over his left cheek.

Are the bandages always necessary? Doctor sighed, shaking his head at his counterpart’s unnecessary additions.

“Of course, my dear Doc~ Looks are always important!” Kyro purred, adjusting his clothing and straightening himself, ignoring the aches and pains of protest.

Izuku grumbled about how it wasn’t fair but decided not to argue, instead choosing to curl up and take a nap. Hatter pulled the tired boy over to him, setting his head on his lap and playing with the mop of hair on his head, lulling the tired teen to sleep.

Ruffling his hair for good measure, Kyro hopped down from the roof, gingerly rubbing the newly sported bruise on his face. This would definitely be hella sore tomorrow. He pulled his lips into an amused smile, skipping down the street, ignoring the weird looks he got from the few passersby that were still out and about in the dead of night.

Once he got to the apartment, Kyro pulled out the key and unlocked the door, slipping inside and quietly closing it, making sure to click the lock back into place. As he turned back around, blue eyes met green, an awkward silence filling the room.

Kyro tilted his head, smiling awkwardly, waving his hands slightly. “Surprise?”

Inko gave him an unimpressed stare. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Uh… Nine?”

“It’s three in the morning.” She corrected, tone never rising. “Do you know what time you promised you’d be back?”

Hanging his head, Kyro mumbled back, “Twelve… But-”

“No buts, mister. I’m assuming Izuku overworked himself?”

“Yes ma’am…”

Inko stared at him for a few moments, the blue-haired male beginning to shift uncomfortably under her stern gaze. After a few seconds, she sighed. “Alright, I’ll let it slide this time. Get some rest, I’m sure you’re tired.”

Hastily agreeing, Kyro bolted to his room, cleaning himself up and hopping into bed.

I swear, next time you’re gonna be the one to talk to Inko, Doc.

Doctor didn’t respond, but Kyro didn’t care. He closed his eyes, slipping off into a dreamless sleep.

______________________________________________________________________

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Detective!” Izuku chirruped, smiling happily at the exhausted man in front of him, looking like he needed to sleep for about twelve years. Wow, what a mood.

“Nameless,” Tsukauchi greeted, voice thick with exhaustion.

“Aw, my favorite detective knows my name~” Izuku smiled.

“We’re not here to chitchat.” Tsukauchi snapped, not in the mood for this. “First off, what is your real name?”

“Yes.” Izuku was being a little shit on purpose, but is it really his fault? He also wasn’t in the mood for this.

How did it get to this point? Well, let him tell you!

Izuku was going about his daily business, doing online courses, chatting with Inko, feeding the stray cats that came to his window for food, y’know, the usual. But, lo and behold, it immediately all turned to shit the moment he left the house. As soon as he stepped foot out of the apartment, Izuku knew today just wouldn’t go his way.

And what do you know, he was right!

Izuku was more or less known as a vigilante, though it wasn’t entirely by choice. That was more Kyro’s thing. He only got into it because he would more often than not stop crimes he happened to run into, which was a surprising amount, and he didn’t even live in a poor off neighborhood. And Izuku, being the self-sacrificing idiot he was, couldn’t just leave someone in trouble.

The first crime Izuku ever stopped was a downtown robber robbing a convenience store he just so happened to be shopping in. It wasn’t anything big, his body already used to the strains of training and flexibility Kyro forced on it for his own vigilantism, so he unconsciously moved and knocked the fucker out, and that only seemed to break open a dam of unfortunate coincidences.

After that, Izuku found himself stumbling across many more cases of robbery, as well as attempted rapes, kidnaping, murder… All in all, Izuku didn’t choose vigilantism. He’d say it chose him, but it was more like it shoved so many cases of villain or soon-to-be villain spottings up his ass and basically continued to fuck him until he stepped one foot into it against his will.

So yeah, Izuku was an unwilling semi-vigilante. He didn’t have a costume or anything, just opting for a hoodie to cover his face and a mask to cover his freckles mostly and just went around stopping any crimes he happened across. Because he appeared so suddenly and stopped crimes so suddenly and quickly that even the criminals couldn’t get an apt description of him, the media began to call him “Nameless”.

Not that Izuku really cared… He just wanted to chill and enjoy his days with his mom. In peace . Whatever the fuck the others did didn’t concern him, in his humble opinion.

Anyway, we’re getting hella off track.

So, there he was, wanting to buy some more ice cream and maybe a few manga he’d been meaning to buy for a while now, when he happened across another purse snatching. As if on autopilot, Izuku immediately began chasing down the thief, slamming his leg against the back of their neck to knock them out and picking up the purse, not bothering to tie up the thief or anything. It wasn’t his problem anymore.

However, once he returned to the lady whose purse was stolen, he found the police had been called at some point and cursed under his breath that he was indeed super close to the police station. He traveled to the outer edge of the crowd that had gathered for some ungodly reason and threw the purse back to the lady before booking it.

Izuku glanced at his close and almost wanted to cry at how he’d grabbed the hoodie he wore most often in his vigilante endeavors, the article of clothing the only thing most people could catch sight of before he made his escape. He wasn’t wearing his mask at the moment either, so that only made things so much better. Whatever. Izuku doubted it made much of a difference either way.

Aw, Izukun, how come you’re having so much fun while we’re sitting here bored? Hatter complained, pouting.

This isn’t something I’d consider fun! He screamed, noticing that the police were indeed now chasing after him. Was it a dumb idea to yeet the purse and then run away, making him super fucking suspicious? Probably. It was only one of many life choices he regretted.

Calm down, Doctor said, cutting in between the two of them. Izuku, it was indeed a dumb decision to make yourself stand out like that but since we’re here we might as well work with it. Turn left.

Izuku did as Doc said, putting an almost blind obedience towards the only smart persona of his. Doctor was usually the one to pull the three of them out of the dumb shit they manage to find themselves in. Listening to Doctor’s instructions, Izuku managed to avoid the police for almost half an hour, hopping from rooftop to rooftop, only to end up tripping and stumbling down a building and onto the concrete below.

Thankfully the building wasn’t all that tall and he’d managed to roll off some force, not sustaining too much injury but slowed him enough for the police to catch up to him and handcuff him, taking him to the police station.

God fucking dammit. All I wanted was my goddamn ice cream.

And so that’s how he got to this point. So forgive him if he wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with this shit.

Tsukauchi sighed heavily, rubbing the bridge of his nose, exasperatedly saying, “We already know your name, Midoriya Izuku, so it’s best to cooperate with us.”

“Then why’d you ask?” Izuku snarked back.

“In vain hope that you’d make this easier on me and show your cooperation.” The plain-looking man sighed once more, looking done with life. Another mood.

“No can do, Detective.” He smirked, purposefully being as unpleasant as possible. “Look, can we hurry this up? My mom’s waiting for me.”

Izuku was absolutely certain Tsukauchi was regretting his life choices at this very moment and that only served to amuse him. He enjoyed watching people suffer. “Fine. Do you have a quirk?”

“No.” Izuku said, already knowing exactly what the detective’s quirk and what it did. However, he also knew his answer was right. Why? Well… Maybe he’ll tell you later.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes~

Tsukauchi frowned, looking hopelessly confused. Izuku smiled innocently at his accusing glare.

“Midoriya, you know what my quirk is, correct?” A nod. “Then you know it’s pointless to lie to me.”

“But I didn’t lie,” Izuku said guilelessly, blinking owlishly at the dark-haired man. “And you should know that, Detective.”

At the other’s frown, Izuku knew he knew that Izuku hadn’t lied. However, Izuku also knew that the others’ answers only served to confuse the poor man even more. Well, it’s not my problem.

Tsukauchi closed his eyes, sighing once more. “Whatever. We have a proposition for you, Midoriya.”

Now that caught his attention. “Oh? And what could that be?”

“We’re offering you a job!” A new voice piped up.

Izuku glanced over to see a rat-like creature hop onto his shoulder, smiling widely at him. He raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Mister Yuuei principal wants to offer little ol’ me a job? A student who hasn’t even yet started high school?”

Nedzu grinned at him. “We saw your information- you’re already graduated from college with multiple degrees in multiple different fields.”

Izuku merely smiled, as if he didn’t know what the animal was talking about.

“So, I’m here to offer you a choice! You can either work as a teacher's assistant at Yuuei or go to jail for your crimes!” Nedzu chirruped, clapping his paws together.

Izuku blinked slowly, waiting for the words to fully process.

“Wait, what?”

Chapter Text

Full disclosure: Izuku shouldn’t be allowed to teach anyone, teens or otherwise.

He could hardly take care of himself, what made the rat think he had the ability to take care of anyone else?

Well, Izuku decided it would be interesting enough and agreed to it anyway. It wasn’t because they were holding jail time over his head otherwise, because that didn’t really matter to him with his list of contacts thanks to the other personas, but it was more of “let’s see what kind of shit I can get away with” kind of thinking that made him agree in the first place.

So, here he was, sitting in his room, Inko already haven given her piece on the matter, caving in under Izuku’s puppy eyes and reluctantly agreeing in the end. However, the other three had their own opinions on the matter.

This is a horrible idea. Doc insisted, pushing his glasses up. Izuku can’t even take care of a potted plant, what makes you believe he can take care of 20-something other kids?

Now, now, Doc, you’re being too harsh on our little bro~ Kyro purred, grinning at the other male.

It doesn’t matter to me as long as I can see someone bleed! Hatter giggled manically, razor sharp teeth glistening.

No one’s gonna bleed, Hatter. Izuku sighed, closing his eyes.

Boo! You’re so boring, Izukun! Hatter cried, flipping over on his back. Himiko-chan would totally agree with me!

That’s Himiko, and we both know how crazy both of you are. Doctor said, giving the orange-haired teen an unimpressed glance.

So, Izu, what do you plan to do until then? Kyro asked, running his fingers through his blue hair.

Izuku hummed quietly, thinking over it. I dunno… How long do we have to wait until then again?

10 months.

Ew. Izuku frowned, already impatient. He hated waiting for things, as he was never the most patient person.

We can go visit Shiga-chan! Hatter suggested.

You just want to go and visit your, and let me repeat your , friends. Doctor sighed.

But of course, Doc~ Can’t be leaving them hanging, you know~

Izuku thought about it for a moment before agreeing. Sure, why not? It’s not like we have anything else to do.

Yay! You’re the best, Izukun~

Yeah, yeah.

Izuku relinquished control to the crazy persona, watching unimpressed as his hair went from green to a blinding bright orange, scars forming at the corners of his mouth and across his face, green eyes becoming the same shade of orange as the hair. Hatter grinned and walked over to the closet, putting on his usual outfit, ripped black jeans with an orange undershirt covered with a black sleeveless turtleneck and put on his mini tophat.

Slipping on his personal pair of shoes, black dress shoes, Hatter bid a worried Inko goodbye and happily waltzed over to the oh-so familiar bar.

Slamming the door open, he shouted, “Guess who’s back, bitches!”

The man behind the counter merely glanced up at him, clearly used to his antics and motioned for him to sit down. “Welcome back, Hatter.”

Hatter’s grin widened, scars pulling painfully going ignored as he plopped down in front of the man. “Hey, Kuro-chan~ How’s my favorite bartender doing?”

“I’m doing fine… What have you been up to?” Kurogiri asked, having long learned that playing along with the crazy teen’s antics was much, much better than the alternatives.

“Oh, you know~ My baby brother got a job yesterday, so that’s fun.”

“Oh?”

“Yep! Can’t tell you where though; that’s a secret~”

“I had assumed so.”

“Hatter-chan~!” A feminine voice whined, a body slamming into the orange-haired male’s back at full force.

Hatter barely budged, merely looking down at the blonde female attached to him and smiling, “Hello, Himiko-chan~”

Himiko looked up at him, blushing and smiling at him, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

“It’s only been three days.” Kurogiri murmured quietly.

“Three days is way too long!” She complained, plopping down on the teen’s lap.

“Sorry, my dear~ I’ve been busy lately.” Hatter purred, playing with her hair.

“Busy with what?” Hatter glanced up and saw a heavily scarred male walk up to the trio, purple scars stapled to pale skin.

He grinned, repeating what he said to Kurogiri, “My younger brother got a job yesterday!” He puffed out his chest in pride, enjoying the astonished look of the older male and gleeful squeal of the blonde.

“Congrats! Where does he work? How old is he?” Himiko questioned, pressing her back against his chest.

“I can’t tell you~ That’s a secret!” Hatter laughed and his friend pouted, clearly unhappy.

“That’s not fair! I wanna know !”

Hatter simply shrugged and turned back to Kurogiri, “Hey, Kuro-chan, where’s Shiga-chan?”

“He went to speak with Sensei. He’ll be back in a moment.”

“Eh? Boo! Where’s my all too fun to tease buddy?”

“You’re sure strangely attached to him…” The black-haired male muttered, sitting down next to him.

“Shush, Dabi-chan. You can’t fault me for finding his reactions way too cute~”

“Cute?” Dabi sputtered, staring at Hatter as if he’d grown a second head. “Are you alright in the head? That guy, cute ?”

We ask ourselves that all the time. Doctor sighed after the elongated silence. Izuku had decided to take a nap and Kyro was busy on his phone, where he’d even gotten that no one would ever know.

Shoosh! You’re just mad that I have friends and you don’t~ Hatter teased, ignoring the purple-haired male’s dramatic eye roll.

“Yep! Shiga-chan is the cutest~”

“Shut the fuck up, pumpkin-head.” A raspy voice snapped, everyone turning their attention to a portal opening in the middle of the room. A lanky teen stepped out, bluish-silver bangs covering his face as he walked up to the television and grabbed a controller, about to play a game.

“Ah, Shiga-chan! Welcome back~” Hatter cooed, pushing Himiko off his lap, ignoring her squawk of indignance, and trotting up to the older male. “You gonna play a game? Let me play too!”

“No.” Tomura ignored his annoying persistence, turning the tv and console on.

Hatter pouted, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck. “ Please ~?”

Tomura ignored him and just started playing, ignoring the teen’s antics. Hatter pouted harder and leaned against the older male, resting his chin on his shoulder and settling down in content to watch him play. Dabi spared the two a glance, muttering something that sounded vaguely like “fucking lovebirds”, while Himiko squealed at their closeness. Kurogiri just ignored them altogether, not in the mood to put up with them.

“Ne, ne, Hakkun,” Himiko sang, slipping into her usual nickname for the orange-haired teen. “You never told me you had a brother!”

Hatter grinned at her, “Yep!” He cheered, popping the ‘p’ happily. “Three, actually!”

“Ehh, how come I never knew of this?! I thought we were friends, Hakkun!”

Oi, Doctor warned.

Calm down, Doc! I won’t spill any important details. There’s no harm in letting them at least know you exist~ Besides, it’s not like they’d be able to find you anyway! At least, not separately. Hatter cooed.

The teen noticed that Dabi shifted uncomfortably in the corner of his eye, something that greatly amused the kill-happy male. Did talk of family make him squirm? How interesting~

“Well, you never asked!” He laughed.

Himiko pouted cutely, “Well, that’s true I suppose, but still!”

“Sorry, sorry~” He didn’t sound too apologetic, mirth clear in his tone. “But, I couldn’t exactly spill it out all willy-nilly, y’know? Safety and all that jazz.”

Himiko harrumphed but otherwise accepted his answer. “Fair enough…” They were silent for a moment before she grinned. “So… Wanna play Jenga?”

Hatter beamed. “Of fucking course!”

Another disclosure: Hatter is a goddamn filthy cheater.

Seeing how he knew he was most likely going to lose as the tower began to look too wobbly for his comfort and Himiko was looking to finish her turn on an impossible feat, the orange-haired villain casually blew the tower down. Ignoring his friend’s squawk of indignance, he cackled loudly as she chased him around the bar.

“Cheater!” She shrieked, swatting at him. “Hakkun is a filthy cheater!”

Hatter laughed harder at Doc’s sigh, the loud noises waking Izuku up.

I swear to fucking god you shits better have a good reason for waking me up or so help me I’ll rip off your nipples and shove them up your noses. Izuku growled, irritated, roughly ruffling his green locks.

Well then. Good job, Hatter, you woke the baby up! Kyro whined, polishing his final knife.

Izuku, how would you even plan on doing that? Doctor asked.

I have my ways.

Ominous~

Sorry not sorry! Hatter sing-songed, grinning at them. You needed to get up anyway, Izu! You always sleep too much~

Well, maybe it’s because some chucklefucks won’t let me go the fuck to sleep at normal goddamn times .

Fair enough.

Hatter dodged another attempt at his head from his friend, in turn bumping into Tomura and causing him to die in his game. Fed up, the blue-haired villain snapped, “Either settle the fuck down or leave!”

“Ahh, sorry, Shiga-chan! I didn’t mean to interrupt you!” Hatter cried. “Here, let me get you back to where you were!”

Grabbing the controller, Hatter hurriedly respawned and completely focused on his task. Tomura clicked his tongue but let the orange-haired teen do as he pleased. Himiko seemed satisfied with the small amount of mayhem she caused and went over to talk to Dabi, who had been watching their exchange in muted amusement. Kurogiri seemed adamant on ignoring all of them so long as they didn’t break anything.

Orange eyes flickered all over the screen as fingers moved at impossible speeds, everything on the monitor going by in a flash. After a near silent few minutes, Hatter held out the controller, beaming as he said, “Here you go, babe~”

Tomura growled at him and snatched it away, going back to what he was doing. Hatter didn’t seem offended, instead opting for watching his friend play once more.

“It’s almost scary how good you can be at something in such a short time…” Dabi commented, dull blue eyes flicking over to the freckled teen. “Didn’t you only start playing that game last week?”

Hatter didn’t even look back at him as he responded, “Three days ago. So last Friday. I can do anything I put my mind to, y’know~” He gave Dabi a coy wink, which in turn got an unamused eye roll. “Well, anything my precious Shiga-chan likes I have to be good at, too!”

That’s not something normal friends do or say about each other~ Kyro whispered under his breath.

What was that?

Nothing~

“Well, I’m going to be in your care for a while!” Hatter cheered.

“What do you mean by that?” Kurogiri spoke up for the first time in a while.

Hatter grinned sharply, “Since my little brother is gonna be busy for a while, I thought I’d come visit more often for a bit!”

“Please don’t,” Dabi deadpanned, the complete opposite of Himiko’s excited squeal.

Hey, I have work I need to do too!

Who said we can’t both do it?

I’m going to be working overtime, aren’t I? Izuku lamented to no one in particular, Doctor just as done with the duo as Izuku and instead opting to read (again, where they are getting any items in Izuku’s own headspace is beyond him).

“So, please be sure to take care of me!” Hatter cackled.

“You visit monthly, and sometimes even weekly, what makes this any different?”

“Aw, don’t be like that, Shiga-chan! You know you’re happy you’re gonna see me more often~”

“No, now fuck off.”

“Aww… Kuro-chan, Shiga-chan’s being mean to me again!”

Izuku wanted to pound his head against a brick wall at seeing how pathetic the “villain” alter ego was being, using puppy dog eyes and a childish pout to complain to the mist villain. He wanted to die.

No dying allowed. Doctor said, practically reading Izuku’s thoughts.

God fucking dammit.

Chapter Text

Character interlude:

[Loading file… … …]

[File loaded. Showing all accessible data.]

Real Name: ???

Alias: Hatter

Occupation: Villain

Sex: Male

Age: ???

DOB: ???

Last Known Residence: ???

Hair: Orange, Long

Eyes: Orange

Height: ??? (Estimated 166cm)

Weight: ??? (Estimated 62.5kg)

Race: Asian

Distinguishable Characteristics: Scar over the bridge of nose; sharp, shark-like teeth; scars on corner of lips

Weapon(s): Knife (potential update required)

Type(s) of Activity: Murder, Arson, Theft

Time(s) of Activity: Midnight/At night

Quirk Name: ???

Quirk Description: ???

Known Family: ???

Other: Crazed and insane, Hatter is a lesser known villain to the general public but one of the most wanted due to a few important murders linked to him. Anyone who has seen him randomly and lived have all described him as an “extremely messed up individual whose smile and laughter gave them nightmares for weeks”. Has been referenced on many occasions as the “Mad Hatter”.

If seen, please report to the proper authorities immediately. Has been thought to be connected to the cases of_

[Warning! Your computer is currently under attack! An unwanted virus has been implemented!]

[Please wait a moment as we try to fix it… … …]

[Warning! Attempt failed! Please tu_ ]

[sYsteM FaiLURe. PLEasE rEboOT im_ ]

[̨S̵y̡s̴te̶m̴ ̸̛ha͟s ͘b͟͠e͠e̶n̶̷ ̵o̶͜ver͟r̶͞i̴͟҉d͟҉d̢e͞n͘͜͞.͡]̴

[... … …]

Oh, honey… Were you trying to see into my private files? How cute~ If you wanted to know things about me, you could have just asked! Just you and me… alone together. Doesn’t that sound like fun~?_

[File being deleted… … …]

[File deleted. Rebooting computer in 3… 2…]

I hope to see you again soon~_

[1…]

Chapter Text

“Shit. Fuck. Dammit.” Kyro hissed, hopping from another rooftop as the shouting from down below grew louder.

He was having a pretty shitty day, if he does say so himself.

First, he had to practically fistfight Hatter for control, the villain persona wanting more and more control every day to see his “precious Shiga-chan”.

You’ve seen him everyday for the past 3 months! Fuck off, it’s cutting into my  work time! He’d snapped.

And? It’s basically giving you a break! You should be THANKING me! Hatter spat back.

Needless to say, it didn’t end well.

Izuku never minded not being in control, being the lazy piece of shit he was he seemed to thrive off the fact that his body was essentially on autopilot, and Doctor never really stayed in control too long, only ever doing a few phones calls and texting here and there. His job didn’t really require him to be out too long, anyway. In fact, he basically benefited from Kyro and Hatter.

So, after a fight that took way too damn long , in his humble opinion, Kyro finally got ahold of control and hurriedly changed and rushed out the front door before Hatter could snap out of his sulk.

Having spent half the day in a mental fight, Kyro was thoroughly exhausted before even setting foot outside but also had a lot of frustration to waste. If that was all that had happened, that’d be fine, but no , the world just had to take a flaming pile of donkey shit on him.

Firstly, he had run into a villain in the middle of a mall doing the typical hostage situation thingy-ma-jig (don’t ask why he was in a mall, sometimes you just crave a jug of chocolate milk, okay? And double-stuffed cookies. Those things are the shit .), which was fine and all, Kyro was a vigilante.

Taking down villains was part of his motif.

So, there he was, doing his thing, smacking the villain upside the head with a handmade icebat (clearly he was creative), saving the damsel in distress, all that jazz.

Just your typical Wednesday, when, all of a sudden , everything decides to jump down a ten story building into a vat of manure and chicken feathers (and while Kyro has yet to do the latter half, let him tell you: jumping off a ten story building it exhilarating. 10/10 would recommend if you could, y’know, still somehow live afterwards).

After apprehending the villain in a case of ice, the victim didn’t wind up thanking him, instead choosing to scream at him and running away, as if he’d hurt her, too. Which was rude as fuck. He was a fucking ray of sunshine, dammit.

The surrounding crowd was nicer, at least. Cheering him on and inflating his ego at least ten times more than it ever should be (which, according to Doctor, should be close to none ).

“Woo! Way to go, Kyro!”

“I love you, Kyro!”

“You’re my hero!”

Needless to say that made his day slightly better. But the world didn’t want him to have nice things.

Shortly after, the police showed up, spotted him, and immediately began firing at him, which he swiftly blocked with an ice shield.

“Fucking rude !” He huffed indignantly. “I just saved someone, and this is how you treat me!”

The crowd immediately began booing the police, some even throwing things at them, which, in Kyro’s oh-so humble opinion, was pretty freaking funny.

Now is not the time to be laughing, Doctor chastised him. Hurry up and get out of here.

I didn’t even get to get my milk or cookies!

And whose fault is that?

Not mine! They’re the ones who decided to open fire first!

If you’re just let me have control, this wouldn’t have been a problem~

No, Hatter. You’ve already killed more than enough people these past few months, we don’t need any more deaths on our hands.

Hmph. Spoil sport.

I swear to god I hate you all. Izuku grumbled, having been woken up from his fifth nap today.

Izuku, you really need to stop sleeping so much. Doctor told him.

I’ll stop when the grim reaper finally decides to answer my goddamn phone calls.

Izuku, that’s literally impossible.

E x a c t l y.

At Doctor’s disappointed sigh and Hatter’s cackle, Kyro dodged another round of fire, unable to contribute much to the internal conversation going on as he was too busy with the external problem currently going on.

He’d managed to escape from the mall and started a chase in the city, climbing up the side of a nearby building like a monkey on crack, limbs swinging away awkwardly as he did his best to avoid the bullets heading his way.

After successfully climbing to the top and only snagging himself a few scrapes and close calls, Kyro began hopping from rooftop to rooftop, ignoring the shoutings at him to stop. Pfft, did they really think he’d listen to them? In their dreams, perhaps. But what their dreams are about… Well, let’s leave that to the imagination~

Kyro, Doctor said, exasperated, easily able to guess why the blue-haired male had a shit-eating grin on his face. Enough.

Awh, Doc, you never let me have any fun! He pouted.

Isn’t this already enough “fun”?

Kyro rolled his eyes and was about to respond when he felt a shift in the air and sidestepped, avoiding a scarf as it whished past him.

“Eraserhead!” He squeaked in delight, recognizing that scarf immediately.

Turning on his heels, he was met fact-to-face with one of his all time favorite heroes. Not his favorite, but pretty high up there!

The pro didn’t seem too bothered with him knowing his name, or, if he was, he didn’t show it. His face remained blank as ever as he spoke, “Kyro.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Kyro asked, raising an eyebrow, knowing full well why the hero was here but decided to ask anyway. He wasn’t about to be rude, y’know. Proper manners and all that good stuff.

“I’m here to bring you in.” Eraserhead said bluntly, causing Kyro to smile.

“Aw, really, so soon? You could have at least taken me out to dinner before jumping straight to the personal stuff~ I’m a bottom, by the way!” Giving the sputtering hero a final wink, Kyro quickly froze the man in place before he could recover, rushing off and leaving the poor man to yell after him.

Really, Kyro? Kyro smirked smugly at Doctor’s “so done with this bullshit” expression.

What? I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true! Tell me right now that none of us are complete and total bottoms!

He’s right, you know?

Hatter, you’re not helping!

Eh, lighten up, Doc. Let him have some fun. Besides, we got to see Eraserhead ! Izuku piped up, conveniently glossing over what Kyro had said.

Doctor sighed heavily but gave up, knowing full well that no one would listen to him either way.

Excited to see your favorite pro hero up close and personal, huh, Izu?

Hell yeah it is! Fuck, I wish it were me in control right now…

You gave up control rights a while ago. Doctor unhelpfully reminded him.

Yeah, but-

Fire incoming!

At Doc’s warning, Kyro just barely avoided a stream of fire thrown his way. He looked down and saw Endeavor staring up at him, sneering at him with his infamous scowl that seemed permanently etched on his face.

“Kyro! Today is your last day free! Say your last words!” The flame hero spat, throwing a ball of fire up at him.

“What the fuck are you? A shitty villain? Who the fuck even says that anymore?!” Kyro cackled as he backflipped out of the way, amusement and frustration flickering in his irises as he smiled down at the hero, “I know I’m hot, but calm down, dude! If you wanted my number, you could’ve just asked!”

“Enough chit chat!” Another wave of fire.

Kyro moved to dodge, but his leg was caught by a scarf and he fumbled, arm being caught in the fire stream, causing his to hiss and curse under his breath. He looked up to see an even angrier Eraserhead (who may or may not have been blushing, Kyro couldn’t exactly tell, the sunset was behind the man, after all) glaring at him, scarf out and holding onto him tightly, hair floating and eyes glowing red.

“We’re bringing you in, Kryo.” He hissed, tugging at the vigilante.

Kyro glanced between the two before giving them a hopeless smile. “Look, guys, I’m flattered and all, really, I am, but, like… My mom’s waiting on me, and she hates when I stay out too late, so I gotta go. Like, right now.”

“You go when I say you-”

“Right, cool, don’t care, see ya!” Before Endeavor could finish his sentence, Kyro threw down a few smoke bombs, completely covering himself, Eraserhead, and Endeavor.

As the pros coughed and the grip on his leg loosened, Kyro made his escape, letting out a rush of cold air in a sigh of relief at the feeling of having his quirk back.

And that’s how he got to this point. Yeah, today was a needlessly shitty day.

Kyro, are you alright? Izuku asked worriedly. We… I couldn’t hear you guys anymore, and I got really worried.

We’re fine, Izu. Doctor assured him. I’m certain it happened because Eraserhead erased Kyro’s quirk and, in turn, erased ours as well.

Yeah… I didn’t like that. Not one bit. Kyro added, giving a quick shiver.

Agreed. Let’s never do that again. Hatter agreed, one of the rare times the two ever agreed on anything.

So, just as the quartet agreed on going home for the day, Kyro heard fighting going on down below and, upon glancing down, noticed a mugging and, cursing his instincts, rushed over to help.

Just as he arrived, the mugger had pulled out a knife and rushed at the victim. Kyro cursed under his breath, because of course today had to get worse, and moved to intercept it, the blade sinking into his shoulder. Once properly startling the duo, Kyro quickly ducked and brought up his leg, slamming it down on the mugger’s neck, knocking him out harshly.

Once that was done, Kyro got up, hissing as he moved his injured shoulder. Oh, it was the same shoulder that was attached to his burnt arm! Perfect! Could today get any better?! Sighing, he glanced behind him, blue eyes meeting black before turning back around.

“Sorry I have to be a save and run, but I’m a bit busy at the moment! See you later, hun!” With that, he ran off, not bothering to look back. They could handle themselves now. Probably.

Kyro, at least attempt to tend to your injuries before returning home. You’ll scare Inko half to death. Doctor reprimanded, pushing up his glasses.

Uh, I kind of have no time for that~ Did you not see the time? 

Would you rather be giving the poor woman a heart attack?

If I tended to it now, it’d probably make me even later, plus you know how bad I am with dressing wounds, it’d only make the situation ten times worse!

He could just go in through the bedroom window, you know~?

Wasn’t that locked because of last time? Izuku chimed in. Very unhelpful.

I mean, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

No, you two we’re not breaking in again. Doctor interrupted, giving them both a disapproving glare.

Who said anything about breaking in?

Too late, already running up the stairs!

Wait! You could at least still remove the-

Kyro slammed the front door opened, shouting a “I made it!” as he rushed inside.

“Welcome home, honey,” came Inko’s voice from the kitchen as she made her way towards the entrance, wiping her hands off on her apron. “I was just getting started on din-” she stopped as soon as she looked up, seeing the current state Kyro was in.

A few moments of silence. Then, Inko screamed.

“Oh my god, what happened to you?! Are you okay?!”

… knife… Doctor finished lamely, sighing and shaking his head

Izuku grinned while Hatter shrugged, Kyro just thankful to have made it home on time this time. However, by the look on Inko’s face, he doubted he’d be able to get away from this with just a simple smile and apology...

Chapter Text

Character interlude:

[Loading file… … …]

[File loaded. Showing all accessible data.]

Real Name: ???

Alias: Kyro

Occupation: Vigilante

Sex: Male

Age: ??? (Suspected Teens)

DOB: ???

Last Known Residence: ???

Hair: Light Blue, Half Shaven, Shoulder Length

Eyes: Light Blue

Height: ??? (Estimated 166cm)

Weight: ??? (Estimated 62.5kg)

Race: Asian

Distinguishable Characteristics: Bandages over cheek and nose; scar under left eye

Weapon(s): Knife, Staff, Smoke Bombs (potential update required)

Type(s) of Activity: Illegal Quirk Use, Destruction of Property, Vigilantism

Time(s) of Activity: Midday, At Night

Quirk Name: ???

Quirk Description: User has the ability to control ice and snow at their will, even able to turn the air and water into ice/snow. Excessive use of the quirk can lead to hypothermia.

Known Family: ???

Other: A known flirt. Enjoys flirting with and flustering people. Hides bottom half of face with a face mask. Fairly active and seems to enjoy saving people. Reasons for why he turned to vigilantism is unknown. Capture alive.

If seen, please report to the proper authorities immediately. Has been thought to be connected to the cases of_

[Warning! Your computer is currently under attack! An unwanted virus has been implemented!]

[Please wait a moment as we try to fix it… … …]

[Warning! Attempt failed! Please tu_ ]

[-----------]

[ System has been overridden. ]

Oh my! Are you a fan? What? You wanted to know more about lil ol’ me? Why, I’m flattered! Honestly, I am! But, if you wanted my personal information, you could’ve just called me! ;) I’d be more than happy to share anything with a cutie like you~ But, I’d have to erase your memory straight after… No hard feelings, though! Safety reasons and what not~ _

[ File being deleted … … …]

[ File deleted. Rebooting computer in 3 … 2 …]

Oops, looks like we’re out of time! Hate to see you go so soon, hun, but come back at anytime, okay? _

[ 1 …]

Chapter Text

Doctor had no idea what to do.

Normally, he wouldn’t be in control for a long time, never really needing to as he didn’t have much to do once in control. His job as an informant didn’t really require him to actually go outside and be face to face with any of his customers. That’s what cellphones were for.

So, why was he in control now, you may ask? Why, that’s simple.

Thanks to Kyro’s last escapade, Inko had grounded him from having control for a few months, which the vigilante tried to plead his case but to no avail. That wasn’t all too surprising.

Next was Hatter, who had also gotten himself into trouble by staying overnight at the bar without informing Inko of their location, giving the poor woman a heart attack and also being grounded. That was hardly even a week after Kyro’s incident.

Lastly, Izuku.

He was still being a lazy little shit, so that left Doctor as the only one available to take rein.

The only problem with that was that he had no idea what to do.

He didn’t really have any hobbies other than reading, and he wasn’t really vying for any new stories at the moment…

We could just visit Shiga-chan! Hatter piped up, looking pleadingly at Doctor.

No, Hatter, we’re not going to visit Shigaraki.

Why not download a dating app? You could use a little love in your life! Kyro suggested, glancing up at the two from his seated position, running his fingers through Izuku’s hair.

Doctor stared at him impassively. I can handle my love life myself, thank you. Not all of us flirt with everything that moves.

Hey! Everyone had their own charms; I’m just openly appreciative of them! The vigilante defended himself, pouting.

Izuku merely grunted, eyes unfocused with sleep. Doctor has spoken to Inko about the child’s sleeping problems and the two have begun forming plans to deal with that.

Well, I suppose I could do a bit of research… Doctor mulled.

But with your quirk you know basically everything!

Not everything I can’t see. Doctor had no time to deal with them.

Ignoring the following remarks, Doctor sat at the desk in their room, pulling out the laptop and turning it on. Immediately he was sucked into his own world, looking up all the information he could on his latest job, hastily writing it all down in his notebook.

---

Notes:

Name: Hanuske Kenchi

Alias: Metalknight

Quirk: Metal Bending - allows user to bend any metallic item at will

Age: 24

Gender: Male

Strengths: Excels in close and mid-range combat; durable body thanks to quirk; high attack power

Weaknesses: -a stupid piece of shit- Single-minded; doesn’t work well in a team; needs lots of time for concentration for larger attacks; impulsive; easily agitated

Other: Number -99- 101 in popularity; lives in Hosu; works for Endeavor; has hidden instances of attempted assault, property damage, and assistant murders; -a low grade piece of shit who deserves to burn in hell-

--

Doctor paused, taking a deep breath to calm the sudden flare of anger and hatred coming forth when researching this particular “hero”. He’s seen many others like him, he wasn’t at all special, but Doctor couldn’t help but feel a burning fire in his gut full of endless hatred towards him. Why he felt that way, he didn’t know.

Maybe I should research someone else… Maybe someone who isn’t a target request.

With that in mind, Doctor casually scrolled around, looking through things before a flash of red caught his eye. Glancing at it, he was met with a photo of the number three hero, Hawks. It was a video of an interview, something that wasn’t all too uncommon. Rather, it was the opposite.

However, Doctor never felt the need to look into the top heroes as their information was easily more accessible and no one was stupid enough to go after them for any reason. At least, not right now. Though, for Doctor, he knew next to nothing about the laid back number three hero other than his name and appearance.

While Hawks seemed to be fairly open, he was actually quite secretive, haven’t yet revealed his actual name and keeping his home location and patrols a mystery, never patrolling in the same places at the exact same time, always changing.

Doctor stared at the image, ashy-blonde hair and slight stubble on a fairly handsome face smiling back.

See something you like? Kyro teased.

Shut up. Doctor said, ignoring the other persona’s eyes rolling. They both knew Doctor wasn’t one to just fall for someone because they had a nice face. In fact, they weren’t sure Doctor was the type to fall for someone at all. But the others, especially Kyro, enjoyed teasing him about it.

Doctor thought about it for a few more moments before clicking it, deciding ‘why not’. The video booted up and began playing, the quality higher than even most movie trailers he’d seen (thanks to Kyro and Izuku). Once it started, calming music played as a woman and Hawk sat across from one another, the woman clearing her throat before starting.

“Welcome to Morning Glory News! Today, we’ve got something very exciting for you! Our very own Number 3 hero, the Wing Hero: Hawks here for an interview!”

Cue cheering.

The woman turned to Hawks, smiling brightly at him. “So, Hawks-san, how are you feeling?”

Hawks grinned at her, “Pretty excited, I suppose. It’s an honor to be interviewed by such a cute little thing.”

The hostess blushed and giggled, a few women in the audience crying out. Clearing her throat, the woman continued. “That’s quite the silver tongue you got there, but we’re not here to talk about me. Hawks-san, how does it feel to be the 3rd most popular hero out there?”

Hawks hummed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully before giving her a coy smirk and shrug. “I’d say it doesn’t really make that much of a difference. I might get stopped every now and again more than the average hero, but other than that it’s not that big of a deal.”

He reminds me of you. Doctor told Kyro, who let out an indignant “what!”

“How modest.” The hostess chuckled. “You’re quite young… You’re 21 this year, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“It must be hard, being one of the youngest in your field and yet having such a high position!”

“It’s whatever.” Hawks shrugged, resting his chin on his folded hands, leaning forward. “I just do what I gotta do, y’know?”
“I see… I’ve heard that you’re still single.”

“You know it.” He winked, causing many of the audience, female and otherwise, to blush. “Single pringle and ready to mingle.”

See? He’s just like you, but with more corny lines.

How DARE! I’m way better!

The hostess laughed and the audience cheered.

“I see… What are your thoughts on it? Planning on changing it any time soon?”

“Hm… Maybe? I think I’ll just see how it all turns out or whatever.”

“I see. That’s understandable. You’re still young; you have a whole life ahead of you.”

“What are you talking about, Miss? You’re still quite young yourself.”

“Oh my!”

Cue more laughter and blushing.

Doctor was about to cut the video right then and there, tired of seeing needless flirting when the next question caught his attention.

“Ahem. Let’s get back on topic… Hawks-san, what is your opinion on heroes in our society today?”

Doctor stared at the winged man, slightly interested in how he’d answer. After all, his answer would cement how the informant viewed the man.

Hawks paused, leaning back and rubbing his chin, tilting his head to the side as he thought. “Well… In all honesty, I think people idolize heroes too much.”

Silence met his answer.

Even Doctor didn’t know how to respond, not expecting that answer from the seemingly laid back hero.

Hawks frowned, “No, that doesn’t sound right… What I mean to say is that people are too dependent on heroes nowadays. Don’t get me wrong, being famous does have its perks, but people often tend to forget we’re human too. We have feelings and bodies capable of death no matter what they’re made up of. We’re not invincible and we’re not all-encompassing. While people always see us at our best, they tend to forget we’re really not all that different from them. Not all heroes wear capes. For example, someone’s hero could be their very own mother not because she saved their lives but because they simply look up to her, or she’s their pillar of support. The word ‘hero’ has been thrown around so haphazardly and connected with such big things people will often forget that even the smallest acts of kindness can be considered heroic.”

Brown eyes met widened blue, a serious expression on the hero that looked almost out-of-place for someone who seemed so laid back all the time. “We’re not gods. If we were gods, what would be the point in heroes?”

Doctor could feel the goosebumps spread across his skin like a rash, a slight shiver running down his spine at the sudden speech the hero had given. He had never heard of someone so high in their position be critical of their ‘customers’... Or, at least, never openly.

He’s interesting. Hatter said suddenly, startling the informant. Orange eyes flittered with amusement as he spoke, it seems like he caught your interest too, no?

Doctor remained silent but didn’t argue. It’s true that this hero was unlike most others he’d seen… Maybe researching him would prove to be interesting after all.

The video continued but Doctor was hardly paying attention, mind already wandering elsewhere… This video was a year old, so has the hero’s views changed any since then? His gaze flickered to the time, noting that it was only three in the afternoon. Lavender eyes traveled back to the video which had ended a few minutes ago.

Silent for a few minutes, Doctor pushed his glasses up, the lens flashing. Perhaps this person could entertain him for a while. Hopefully he does not disappoint.

Chapter Text

Character interlude:

[Loading file… … …]

[File loaded. Showing all accessible data.]

Real Name: ???

Alias: Doctor

Occupation: Informant

Sex: ???

Age: ???

DOB: ???

Last Known Residence: ???

Hair: ???

Eyes: ???

Height: ???

Weight: ???

Race: ???

Distinguishable Characteristics: ???

Weapon(s): ???

Type(s) of Activity: Selling and distributing sensitive information

Time(s) of Activity: Any

Quirk Name: ???

Quirk Description: ???

Known Family: ???

Other: Unknown if is actually real or not. Has only ever been heard through the grapevine. Unable to trace anything back to a source.

If seen, please report to the proper authorities immediately. Has been thought to be connected to the cases of_

[Warning! Your computer is currently under attack! An unwanted virus has been implemented!]

[Please wait a moment as we try to fix it… … …]

[Warning! Attempt failed! Please tu_ ]

[146@#%$2432!@#%$1087$^%$#&*]

[... -.-- ... - . --     .-. . -... --- --- - .. -. --. ·-·-·-     .--. .-.. . .- ... . .... --- .-.. -.. ·-·-·-]

[.-. . -... --- --- -     ... ..- -.-. -.-. . ... ... ..-. ..- .-.. ·-·-·-     ... -.-- ... - . -- .... .- ... -... . . -.   --- ...- . .-. .-. .. -.. -.. . -. ·-·-·-]

I see… you were trying to see into my personal data, correct? I’m afraid I cannot let you do that. Not that you’d get much out of it anyway.

[..-. .. .-.. .     -... . .. -. --. -.. . .-.. . - . -.. ·-·-·-]

[..-. .. .-.. .     -.. . .-.. . - . -.. ·-·-·-     .-. . -... --- --- - .. -. --.   -.-. --- -- .--. ..- - . .-. .. -.     ...-- ·-·-·- ·-·-·- ·-·-·- ..--- ·-·-·- ·-·-·- ·-·-·-]

My apologies but I have to do this. I cannot afford to risk my safety, after all. I hope you can understand.

[.---- ·-·-·- ·-·-·- ·-·-·-]

Chapter Text

I want to die.

That was Izuku’s first thought when he’d woken up that morning.

It was the week before he was to attend Yuuei as an assistant teacher and he already regretted the day he was born.

Now, it was no secret that Izuku was quite literally the laziest person on earth. If he didn’t have to move, he wouldn’t. He was more than content with his other personas having the rein of their shared body because fuck knows he’d rather just be sleeping. There wasn’t a single bone in his body that wasn’t lazy and he was just fine with that.

However, apparently the others didn’t agree, his mom and Doctor even going out of their way to get him to start sleeping less.

All in all, Izuku was ready to just hop into the grim reaper’s arms.

But that begs the question: if Izuku was as lazy as he claimed, how come he was a vigilante (albeit not by choice)? That was easy: Izuku, for better or worse, can’t leave someone in need alone. He’s also a nosy little shit, so that doesn’t help any.

Hear a scream? You bet your sweet ass he’ll be all over that. Hear a suspicious rustle and demonic growl that makes you think you stepped straight into a horror movie? Well, Izuku was always the type to head straight in no questions asked if something seemed even remotely interesting so yep, he was there too.

It was even worse when he could visibly see what was going on.

See an attempted rape in a back alley? That fucker might lose his ballsack and have it shoved down his own damn throat (or have their tits removed if they were a woman. Crazy to see people not believe women can be rapists too, it’s wild!). See a person being robbed? Well, apparently, in Izuku’s case, you get kicked in the back of the head and have your purse yeeted back at you before running away like a fucking chicken with it’s head cut off after seeing the police.

Clearly his vigilante skills were still a work in progress.

Or, they would be, if he didn’t accept the invitation to being an assistant teacher at Yuuei. He felt a smirk crawl onto his lips at the memory of how it all happened…

Izuku stared at the rat for a few moments, letting the words process before answering. “Oh. Sure. Why not.”

Nedzu smiled, looking as if he’d expected that while Tsukauchi took a minute to process it, flapping his lips like a fish for a few moments and blinking rapidly in shock at how quickly the teen agreed. “Wait, wait, wait- Not a ‘maybe’ or even a ‘I’ll think about it’, just an immediate yes?”

Izuku shot the detective a quirked up eyebrow, slightly amused by his utterly shocked expression. “Yeah, it sounds interesting, so why not?”

“So, it’s all settled!” Nedzu said cheerfully.

“Wait, no, hold on-” Tsukauchi sputtered. “We- He doesn’t even know what the job entails! Not only that, but we know next to nothing about him other than his name and the basics! He could be extremely dangerous!”

“I see… Are you?” Nedzu asked the boy in question, who looked like he was having the time of his life watching the detective trip over himself.

“No.”

“He says he’s not.”

“Don’t just believe him! What if he’s lying!” Nedzu and Izuku exchanged humored grins. They were having fun teasing the fuck out of the plain-looking guy. It was fun as hell.

“I see… Are you lying?”

“Nope.”

“He says he’s not lying.”

“Again, don’t just believe him!”

Izuku couldn’t help it; he started to laugh, falling off the chair and beginning to roll all over the floor, Nedzu hopping off his shoulder at the first sign of trembling an onto the interrogation table, watching the youth with an amused twinkle in his eye. Tsukauchi, the poor soul, looked utterly confused and slightly concerned as he watched the teen bust a gut over his demise.

Nedzu turned to the human adult, chuckling as he said, “I’m aware that I can’t just trust him immediately. We both were just messing with you.”

Izuku had slowly gotten his breathing under control when he saw Tsukauchi’s exasperated expression only to start laughing again, nearly coughing out a lung at how much air he had to inhale quickly because of how much he was losing. It was painful but the look on Tsukauchi’s face was totally worth it.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Tsukauchi rubbed his temples, absolutely done with the two being in front of him. “Alright… Well, are you at least going to tell him what his job’s going to be?”

“Ah, right!” Nedzu chirruped, clapping his paws. “Midoriya-kun, since you’ve already agreed, you won’t go back on your words, correct?”

“Yep.” The boy replied, popping the ‘p’.

“Good. Your job is fairly simple: you’ll be accompanying the first years in Class 1-A and acting as the assistant to their teachers as well as a quirk counselor of sorts. Easy, right?”

“Ah, sure.”

Tsukauchi looked like he wanted to say something else but decided against it.

“Class 1-A’s homeroom teacher is Eraserhead, right?” Izuku asked.

Nedzu glanced at him curiously. “Correct.”

“Good.”

“Did you want to meet him?”

“Nah, I wanna give him a surprise welcome of sorts.”

“Shouldn’t that be the other way around?”

“Says who.”

“Fair enough.”

“You two…” Tsukauchi groaned, earning a shit-eating grin from the other two.

Izuku grinned madly at all the possibilities lying ahead. Oh, this is gonna be fun.

The fuck was he thinking back then. Sure, he could cause some mayhem, but that requires effort, something he clearly doesn’t have. Izuku groaned, rolling around on his bed lazily.

Why not take a walk, Doctor suggested. You need to get out some times.

Says who? Izuku shot back.

Doctor gave him the most deadpan look and Kyro cackled as Hatter smirked.

Now, now, don’t be like that, Izukun! Hatter cooed. Doctor can be right sometimes.

Who are you and have have you done with Hatter?

Wow, rude.

They’re not wrong. Kyro said between laughs, wiping at his eyes. All three of us have things to do but you don’t even have a single friend in your phonebook.

Is this a callout post? Also, I don’t remember you having any either.

Of course I do!

The phone numbers of multiple men and women you’ve saved don’t count. Doctor interjected.

Wow, I came out here to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now.

Good. Izuku deadpanned.

Kyro huffed. I didn’t give them my ACTUAL number! Or, our actual number. Anyway, that’s not the point. Get out there and enjoy life some, Izu!

What if I don’t want to?

We’ll keep bugging you ‘til you do! Hatter cheered.

Looking at Kyro’s enthusiastic nod and Doctor’s quiet agreement, Izuku knew he was in a losing situation. Sighing heavily, he relented. Fiiine.

Yay!

Go get ‘em, Izu!

Good.

Izuku ignored them, dragging himself out of his bed and getting dressed, showering and brushing his teeth before rendezvousing with his mom, who enthusiastically greeted him at the dinner table.

“Oh, Izuku!” She beamed. “I thought you’d still be asleep…”

Izuku rolled his eyes, smiling fondly. “Do you want me to be?”

She quickly shook her head. “No, no, no! I’m happy you’re awake!”

“I was messing with you.” He teased, booping her nose.

She laughed happily, swatting at him playfully. “Shush, you. Hurry up and eat breakfast.” Noticing his clothes, she added, “Are you going out?”

“Yep. The others were badgering me about it so I decided ‘eh, why not’.”

Inko nodded slightly. “They’re right, you know. You need to get out more.”

Izuku groaned. “Not you, too!”
She giggled, earning another eye roll from her son. Both Midoriyas ate together for the first time in months, Inko chatting happily as Izuku nodded every once in a while, adding whatever came to mind.

Look at how excited she is to talk to you… How could you practically ignore her for months? Doctor chastised once he left the apartment, Inko wishing him a good day from the kitchen.

Izuku felt a pang of guilt stab him in the stomach. Hey, don’t go guilt tripping me now.

Doctor rolled his eyes but quieted. Izuku knew he was right, and it wasn’t like he disliked spending time with his mother or anything… He just tended to forget because it was so easy to just slip into the comfort of being lazy all the time thanks to others taking control of your own body for you.

Izuku shook his head, ridding himself of those thoughts. No use crying over spilt milk. He walked under an underpass, the sounds of leaves rustling and people talking soothing his mind. He had just passed over a manhole when he heard the metal top being popped off, the clanging ringing in his ears as green tentacle-esque things wrapped around him.

The smell of feces and sewage swamped Izuku’s senses, causing his eyes to water.

Iz uk u! The others shouted in panic.

Izuku felt the tentacle force its way into his mouth, the taste even worse than the smell, feeling bile rise up his throat at an uncomfortable rate.

“Ah, an inconspicuous puppet…” The slimeball breathed, turning Izuku’s head up so that they could make eye contact. “I’d say I’m sorry about this, but I’m on the run, you see? So I kinda need your help…”

Izuku glared at them-him?-and began to struggle. The probable villain laughed. “It’s no use! Just relax. It’ll take less than a minute, and then you’ll be freed. Forever. ”

Feeling his conscious flicker in and out, Izuku could hardly make out the worried shouts his other personas were doing, unable to gain enough focus to switch out with any of them, mind too muddled for any of them to do it themselves. Just as he was getting too weak to move, a gush of extremely strong wind ripped the slime off of him, causing him to fall to the ground, coughing up whatever was in his lungs.

As he was replacing all the missing air in his lungs, Izuku looked up to see All Might standing there, overly buff body blocking the sunlight coming into the tunnel and ever present smile on his face.

“Have no fear… Why? I am here!” The hero boomed.

“God fucking dammit on a shit stickle,” Izuku cursed under his breath. “What the fuck did I do to derserve this? Was it just me being alive?”

All Might ignored his muttering in favor of scooping the villain into a bottle. Once done, he turned back to the teen, who had yet to get up and was instead lying on the ground.

The hero glanced at him worriedly. “Are you alright, my boy?”

“I’m fan-fucking-tastic. A-Ok. Just peachy. What floats your fucking boat. God I wanna die.”

“My boy…”

“Fuck off. Let me die in peace. Actually, you know what, just yeet me into the sun. Detroit Smash my ass into the center of the earth. Let me meet the hobbits or something I don’t fucking know I never read those books.”

All Might coughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m afraid I cannot do that… If you’re alright, then I’ll be off.”

He hopped away, leaving Izuku alone in his misery. As the man disappeared into the distance, Izuku whispered under his breath, “Bitch ass pussy.”

Izuku! Doctor shouted, startling the teen. Are you alright?

Can you hear us now? Kyro asked worriedly.

Did you get hurt? Should I go snatch him from All Might and kill him? Hatter worried.

Izuku gave them a placenting smile. Guys, guys, I’m fine, don’t worry.

Dear lord, Izuku, you nearly gave us a heart attack. Doctor sighed, wrapping the younger boy in a hug.

Don’t ever scare us like that again! Kyro cried, tackling the other two, all three falling to the ground.

Doggy pile! Hatter cheered, piling on top of the others, laughing happily.

They all joined him in his laughter, even Doctor cracking a small smile. After a short cuddle session, Izuku went on the move, all of them deciding to return home for thee day. We’ve had enough craziness for one day, Kyro had said.

Ah, right, didn’t we just meet Dick Might? Hatter asked a full ten minutes later.

Oh, right. We might have.

Well, it’s not like we give much of a fuck anyway. Izuku said plainly. Thanks to the influence of the other three since the age of four, Izuku had quickly nipped his All Might craze in the bud. He actually wasn’t the biggest fan of him after removing the rose-colored glasses that were the hero statistics and the fact he was the number one hero and realized that the buffoon was a bit reckless in his work.

Izuku turned his attention from the more noticeable heroes to the underground ones and those who didn’t get much media attention. They were much more reliable and how Izuku found his current favorite pro hero, Eraserhead. The man didn’t have any videos or pictures out there, and any that did slip by were deleted minutes later. Izuku actually had to use Doctor’s assistance once he saw a picture of the hero for a minute only for it to be deleted immediately after.

Through a complicated series of events, he got all the information he could on the underground hero and wham bam he became Izuku’s new favorite.

“Someone help him!” A scream ripped Izuku from his thoughts, head snapping up to see a crowd in a giant circle surrounding something.

Too curious for his own good, Izuku squeezed past the mob and popped out in the front, eyes widening in surprise at what he saw.

In the middle was the same slime villain that had taken hold of him earlier, and was currently hold a teen hostage. A very familiar teen. Red eyes met green and the entire world seemed to stop right then and there.

“Kacchan…?” Izuku whispered.

Normally, he would have been laughing his ass off at the blonde’s demise but, seeing as how there were multiple pro heroes at the scene, and none of them were doing their motherfucking job , Izuku felt his legs move before he could process what he was doing. Ignoring the shouts behind him, Izuku quickly took out a knife he didn’t remember even taking from the apartment and slashed at the villain’s eyes.

“Gah!” The villain recoiled, loosening his grip on Katsuki long enough for Izuku to pull him out.

Katsuki coughed harshly and loudly, doubling over and coughing up any slime he’d managed to inhale. Izuku quickly picked him up bridal style and ran back into the crowd, his job successfully done.

All Might had come out of nowhere and knocked the villain out again with another punch and the crowd cheered. Izuku sat Katsuki down and let the medics take care of him when they arrived. Death Arms strolled up to him and glared down at him.

“That was very reckless of you, kid!” He scolded.

“Ah, right, because you facefuckers were doing such a good job .” Izuku drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure the victim’s family would’ve been thanking you when you returned home with a corpse of a child and useless apologizes that won’t bring back the dead. The fuck is your job again? To save people ? Yeah, good fucking job there. Pardon me for doing the shit you useless sacks of shit were too pussyshit to do.”

Huffing, Izuku stormed away, leaving a stunned hero behind. He looked around and his gaze met blue-grey. Their gazes only met for a few seconds before Izuku looked away, not having taken anything else of the other person’s appearance. He was too pissed to care.

Just as he was walking down his street to his apartment, he was stopped by one of the most annoyingly familiar yells ever.

“ Deku !” Izuku sighed heavily, slowly turning around to see Katsuki panting as he ran up to him. The blonde stalked up to him, glowering at him as he spat, “Look here, you fuck, I didn’t need your help.”

“Right, because sucking off a slime tentacle equals doing well.” Izuku rolled his eyes, ignoring the surprised grunt from his former childhood friend. “Sorry ‘bout that, didn’t know being fucked in the middle of the street was your kink. I’ll make sure to keep out next time.”

“Y-Y-You-!”

“Bitch, you think I give a fuck about your feelings right now? It’s taking everything in my power not to splatter your goddamn guts all over the sidewalk so you’d better take that stick out of your ass as walk your prissy bitchass self home.” Izuku growled, rubbing his temples. “So, either you go on your merry way or I make you.”

Katsuki stared at him in stunned silence as Izuku walked away, the greenette just wanting to go back to bed.

What a fucking shitty day. Izuku groaned. I never wanna go outside ever again.

Doctor, Hatter, and Kyro stayed quiet, none of them really having anything to say to that. They couldn’t really disagree, anyway.

Chapter Text

Character interlude:

[Loading file… … …]

[File loaded. Showing all accessible data.]

Real Name: Midoriya Izuku

Alias: Nameless

Occupation: Vigilante

Sex: Male

Age: 16

DOB: 7/15/XX

Last Known Residence: XXXX

Hair: Green, Short, Curly

Eyes: Green

Height: 166cm

Weight: 62.5kg

Race: Asian

Distinguishable Characteristics: Freckles, Curly Hair, Dark Hoodie

Weapon(s): Knives (Update May Be Necessary)

Type(s) of Activity: Vigilantism

Time(s) of Activity: Any

Quirk Name: ???

Quirk Description: ???

Known Family: Midoriya Inko

Other: Has been seen on multiple occasions on the account of vigilantism. Has never stayed on scene for too long. Shows no sign of quirk usage. Thought to be quirkless. Has no set pattern. Capture alive.

If seen, please report to the proper authorities immediately. Has been thought to be connected to the cases of_

[Warning! Your computer is currently under attack! An unwanted virus has been implemented!]

[Please wait a moment as we try to fix it… … …]

[Warning! Attempt failed! Please tu_ ]

[Bzzzzzzzzt… … …]

[System has been overridden.]

Oh, you want to check out my stuff? I mean, I suppose it doesn’t matter… I’m sure most of you know about me, anyway. But I can’t exactly let anyone else in this story know about this, y’know?

[File being deleted… … …]

[File deleted. Rebooting computer in 3… 2…]

Well, that was fun and all, but I’ll see you later, kay? Also, don’t be too mad at me once we meet again~ Bye-bye!

[1…]

Chapter Text

Hello. Izuku here. This isn’t going to be an actual story chapter I’m afraid… I told you not to be too mad at me last time, right?

Anyway. Yeah. The author wants to let you know that they want both of their stories on equal footing so they’re using this chapter as bit a of a freebie to themselves.

I suppose this just means we can talk a bit by ourselves, huh?

Kyro, Hatter, and Doc are asleep, so it’s just you and me.

I thought I’d give you a bit of insider info about them; not too much, though! Can’t spoil the story too much~

I could also give you some info on the author, but I doubt you care that much about them, huh? So, who should I start with…~

Did you know Hatter actually hates june bugs? Not that I can blame him, but those things scare him to hell and back! He’s not a fan of bugs in general, but june bugs are his absolute nightmare. His second least favorite bugs are cockroaches. He’s fine with spiders, though. And, yes, I’m aware they’re technically not bugs, but still.

Hm… I suppose we can go with Doc next? Yeah, he’s the most mysterious out of the bunch, and most of the information I could give on him would be super spoily, so let’s continue with the theme of rather useless fun facts, okay? Doctor actually doesn’t like chocolate. He loves vanilla, though. Super basic, I know, but what can ya do?

Kyro, as you should know, is a huge flirt. Guys, girls, or anything in between, it doesn’t matter, he’ll flirt with them. Oh, I’m getting off track. Something he doesn’t like… He’s actually a huge scaredy cat. He can’t stand horror in movies or games, but is fine with gore in real life. Weird, right? He’s a believer in ghosts and the like, too, so that’s a thing.

What do they like?

Well, Hatter, unlike Doc, loves chocolate. He doesn’t mind vanilla, either. Has a huge sweet tooth. Loves fruity candies.

I already said that Doc likes vanilla, so what else… I could go with the obvious that he likes reading like the nerd he is, but I’m pretty sure that’s fairly obvious. Oh! I know! He loves alpacas. His absolute favorite animal. Not sure why, but he loves them.

As for Kyro, you’d think he’d be a romantic and like flowers or something. While he doesn’t dislike them, it’s not like he loves them, either. Has no idea about the language of flowers, either. No, he actually likes poems. Still a bit on the romantic side, but he likes reading them or writing them… but he doesn’t let anyone read what he writes, though. Well, we won’t pressure him either way.

Oh, what about me? Hm, well… I figured you probably would have known a lot about me, seeing as how this isn’t the first time we’re meeting, but I suppose that ‘I’ am different from the other ‘me’s.

So, something I don’t like. Work. Or just moving in general. I’m a lazy POS, in case you couldn’t tell. What? That was too obvious? Okay, okay… Um… I don’t like spicy foods. My tongue is rather sensitive and anything even remotely spicy burns the hell outta my tongue so yeah.

Something I like? I’m a sucker for anything fluffy. Clothing or animals, if it’s fluffy, I WILL rub my hands all over it. I love the feeling of fluff.

What? You want to hear more?

Sorry, hun, I can’t exactly do that~

Now, last and certainly least, a little about the author!

Why did I leave them for last, you ask? In case you didn’t want to bother and thus can just skip over it.

Quite a bit of us from from them, actually. They love sweets, chocolate or otherwise, and is deathly afraid of bugs and anything horror related. They also love animals, especially fluffy ones, and the thing about my tongue? Yep, that’s the same with them too.

Also, they’re not non binary: they’re actually genderfluid. They’ll respond to any pronouns and just feel like using they/them at the moment~

Anywho, that’s all for now!

Hope you enjoyed this little insider info~

Buh-bye!

Chapter Text

“Sup ladies, theydies, gaydies, and Hades!” Izuku shouted as he kicked the classroom door open.

As expected, he was met with a bunch of surprised stares and even a few yelps and shouts. Aizawa, on the other hand, had the audacity to look annoyed and completely done with his shenanigans. Well, too bad for him. They’ve got an entire year together~

Oh, wait. A small bit was skipped. Starting here won’t make too much sense. Well, let’s rewind!

MY SHADOW’S THE ONLY ONE THAT WALKS BESIDE ME-

Kyro, I swear to every conceivable and inconceivable God there is I will fucking murder you if you don’t stop singing.

Izu, my baby emo heart is crying to be let out and expressed!

yOU’RE NOT EVEN EMO- IS THAT EVEN AN “EMO” SONG- WHO TF IS PLAYING JUSTIN BEIBER

ARE WE AN ITEM? GIRL QUIT PLAYIN-

HATTER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-

I WALK A LONELY ROAD-

I want to fucking die. Where’s the nearest bridge-

Doctor, as per usual, ignored the trio’s antics. As sad as it sounded, this was only a normal Wednesday for the group. Izuku was currently in charge of their body and, despite his wishes for death, did not, in fact, change course to the nearest bridge to take a swan dive. He instead made his way up to Yuuei and swaggered inside, ignoring any and all looks of confusion at his nonchalant attitude of a) just waltzing into the top hero school like he owned the place and b) not having sprung any alarm bells.

Izuku swung open the teacher lounge’s door and shouted, “I’m here, I’m queer, and I wanna fucking die. ”

Hearing a quiet utter of “mood”, he grinned and threw himself at the yellow caterpillar curled up in the corner of the room. “Hey, Eraserhead! Guess who?”

“If it’s who I think it is, I’m also guessing I’m going to be getting even less sleep than I usually do.”

Izuku laughed. “You know you love me~”

The duo ignored the other teacher’s looks and whispers of confusion as Aizawa poked his head out of his sleeping bag. Tired black eyes stared into chipper green ones and, after a few moments of silent staring, the pro gave in, closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh.

“Just try not to make that big of a ruckus when introducing yourself to the class.”

Izuku pouted. “Aw, man, I thought you’d be more surprised upon hearing my joining of your class.”

“Considering the fact you were seen less and less before the beginning of school and how Nedzu had a shit-eating grin on his face the whole time, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.”

Izuku continued to pout as Aizawa wiggled out from under him. “I’ll be going first. Don’t get yourself into trouble.”

“I won’t~” The greenette sing-sung at the pro, waving his hand cheerily goodbye.

After the pro left, his grin turned sharper and he immediately turned to the remaining teachers, who all felt a shiver run down their spines at his expression. “Now, who wants to play tag?”

And, well, here we are.

Aizawa opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a very loud shout of:

“I’ve got you now, you little brat!”