Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

2:19am. That’s what her phone screen read when Chaeryeong texted her. ‘Yuna?’

‘What is it now?’

Yuna rubbed her eye with her left arm as she propped herself up on her elbow. The phone screen shone bright in her eyes, she couldn’t help but flinch. Sighing, she began to type her reply. ‘What’s up?’

Not long after, a reply came through. ‘Can you come over?’

Yuna frowned, confused. ‘Chaer...?’

‘Please.’

Yuna flopped back in the middle of her bed and looked up at the ceiling. The truth was, she missed her too. She missed her wavy golden bronze hair that sat messily atop her head in the mornings, tied up carelessly the night before. She missed her rosy red cheeks that seemed so squishable and plump but never fat. She missed her sparkly eyes that glowed brightest only when looking at her. But most of all she missed her voice. The words she spoke and the words she was yet to say. She longed to talk with her. She longed to fall asleep with her tangled in her arms, the last thing she heard before falling asleep being her voice.

Honestly, it wasn’t as simple as that.

But maybe, just maybe tonight would be an exception.

Yuna ran outside, threw herself atop her bike, and began cycling as fast as her legs could take her. She wasn’t going to go another night without chaeryeong. Not another one. She couldn’t take another. And she knew Chaeryeong couldn’t take another without her either.

“I’m coming.” Yuna whispered, pedalling so fast that she thought her bicycle might lift off the ground and towards the sky. She hoped it would do that... it might have been quicker. She might’ve got to chaeryeong a little faster.

Soon, Chaeryeong’s house emerged into sight. Panting, Yuna leapt off her bike and made her way behind the house. She snuck round the perimeter until she was directly below Chaeryeong’s bedroom. Looking up, she managed to catch her hysterical breath. Maybe this was what love meant. To want someone so badly that you don’t care about what happens to you. As long as they are happy, as long as they are safe, it doesn’t matter even if you die.

‘Chaer!’ The younger called, lifting her head to see the window above her. She was careful to make as little noise as possible, but just enough so that her girlfriend could hear her. A long and suspenseful silence passed. She wondered if she heard her. She wondered if they heard her.

But all of her intrusive thoughts were put to an abrupt end as Chaeryeong’s bedroom window was opened slowly and quietly, and a thick rope thrown out. It dangled just above Yuna’s head, a perfect height. Determined, she took the rope in her hands and pulled herself up. Her feet found their way against the brick wall, darkness making everything harder. She tried desperately to make as little noise as she could, every millisecond feeling like a century. One foot, the other foot, and back to the first one. One, two, one, two.

Then, her foot slipped. It slipped. Scrambling for the wall, Yuna felt the rope lowering. The more she moved to try and find the wall once again, the more it snaked out of the window. Faster and faster, the rope began to pick up speed. Both feet were now dangling below her and she could do nothing about it. Every move she made only made the rope fall faster. She was falling, falling now. She couldn’t see. She couldn’t breathe. She was falling.

She was falling. Until all of a sudden, the rope stopped. It stopped falling. It was still. She was still.

Her breath was rapid and she could barely keep it quiet. Frantically, she tightened her grip until her hands felt numb, and found her way into the wall again. Her hands shook uncontrollably as she began walking up the wall once again. One by one, her feet took her further up the wall, until she was finally at the 4th floor. Chaeryeong’s window was right in front of her. Squinting in the darkness, she finally saw the elder, who was clenching the rope tightly in her delicate hands. ‘Yuna.’ She whispered, her voice shaking as if she had just been panicking. That was when Yuna realised that it was her that had been desperately scrambling to stop the rope from falling.

‘Chaer...’ The younger’s eyes glistened, she was trying hard to hold back her tears. It had been so long since they’d seen each other. The only thing they’d been clinging onto was texts and calls. All this time, the three weeks that had passed, Yuna had wanted to believe that the calls were enough... that she could survive without seeing her girlfriend in person. But seeing her, seeing Chaeryeong standing there, gazing at her as if she was the one thing keeping her alive, she knew she couldn’t keep on going like this. She couldn’t go another day without being with her. Not even one.

Hastily, the elder took the younger’s hand and helped her out of the window. Feeling her soft touch, Yuna knew that this was it. This was all she ever needed. All she’s been longing for.

Once she’d climbed into the bedroom, the younger was finally faced with her girlfriend. After all those days, weeks, she could finally look at her in person. She found herself getting lost in her dark brown eyes. But she let herself, because maybe that way she’d forget about the extreme risk she was taking just by being there.

‘I’ve been waiting for you.’ Chaeryeong’s voice wobbled as she whispered. Yuna could barely hold eye contact with her as she felt her aching pain in every syllable. She knew that if she looked deep enough into her eyes again she wouldn’t be able to keep it in.

‘I know you have...’ Was all she could utter, her throat tightening.

It felt like a million stabs to the heart as she heard the elder begin crying. Her voice cracked, and she sounded choked up. Yuna didn’t want to look at her. She knew that even a glimpse would break her in two. ‘I’m sorry it has to be like this, Yuna. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this. I wish it could be different... I really really wish it could be different.’

That was it, she couldn’t take it anymore. Yuna threw her arms around the elder and hugged her as tight as she could. Her arms flung around Chaeryeong’s neck and her hand, she placed on the back of the elder’s head. She couldn’t help but cry as she felt her against her own cold body. She knew that this was what she’d longed for, but it hurt to know that it would end.

‘D-don’t be sorry. Don’t you dare say that ever again, okay? I’m the one who should be s-sorry. I’m the only who didn’t c-come and see you.’ She stammered through her tears. It hurt to see the love of her life in pain. But it was agony to see her in pain because of her.

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‘I missed you. I m-missed you so much.’ Chaeryeong sobbed, clinging onto the younger for dear life. She didn’t ever want to have to let go, but she knew that that time would surely come.

‘I missed you too. But we’re together now, okay? I’m right here.’ Yuna sighed, trying to calm down. She took deep breathes as she squeezed the elder tightly in her embrace. A few moments passed. The two breathed deeply, their eyes closed, allowing their emotions to pass. They felt each other’s’ hearts beating against one another... it was heart-wrenching.

‘Now listen. Listen to me.’ Yuna finally spoke firmly. She parted with Chaeryeong, still clinging onto her hand, and used her other to wipe the fresh tears off her girlfriend’s face. ‘I’m going to get you out of here.’

Chaeryeong almost choked. ‘Yuna, we can’t. You know what could happen. I want to, I want to escape and be with you forever more than anything in the entire world... but I can’t. I could lose you. It could end terribly.’

‘I know. I know that, Chaer. I’ve thought about it more times than I could possibly count. It’s a big risk... but if they catch us they won’t hurt you. They’ll come for me. You can say I tried to kidnap you. Or you could say I was trying to break into your house... anything. They’ll believe you.’

‘That’s what I’m fucking worried about! I don’t care if they hurt me, I care if they hurt you. Yuna... they’ll kill you. My dad, he has a gun. Last time they found us they said they’d kill you if they ever saw you with me again. And my parents don’t break promises. That’s why I’m still locked up in my room. We can’t do this.’

Chaeryeong felt her entire heart break into millions of pieces as the younger slowly smiled a faint little smile. She knew full well that Yuna would do anything to save her, anything. And that’s why she was so hurt and angry.

‘I know... but you’d escape. You can run to our secret place in the woods and call the police there. Your parents won’t find you, no one could find you unless you tell them. You can live your life. Like a real  teenager, finally.’

‘I know but... I can’t live my life if you’re not there.’

Yuna’s soft smile tore Chaeryeong into pieces. She didn’t know what to do. She felt helpless. She hated that she was born into this awful, homophobic, psychotic family. She hated that she liked girls. She hated that she’d had to live her whole life knowing her parents wouldn’t allow her to love any girl. She hated every aspect of her life... except Yuna. Yuna was the only person she’d ever loved, and it hurt more than anything else to know that she couldn’t openly be  with her.

‘Okay. That’s fine. Well I better go home now...’ The younger took a deep breath, making her way towards the window. ‘Help me down?’

The elder blinked back tears, composed herself, and walked to the window. She held the younger’s hands as she climbed out the window and grasped the rope. Smiling once again, Yuna began to slowly make her way down the house wall. Chaeryeong watched longingly as she sat on the windowsill holding the end of the rope, knowing with every second that she would soon hate her life once again because Yuna wasn’t there with her.

Until, she felt the rope jolt downwards out of her window, yanking her with it. She quickly tried to grab the windowsill... but it was too late. In just a millisecond, Chaeryeong was plummeting towards the ground, certain that she was falling to her death. She screamed, her body out of her control. She thought about Yuna who she knew was also tumbling to the ground beneath her.

And within just a moment, she felt herself hit the ground. The ground... she thought. ‘ Am I dead?’ She wondered. Her entire body was numb from head to toe. She knew she was laying on top of something but she couldn’t feel exactly what. Her mind was blank, she didn’t know what to do.

Until, a hand grabbed hers from underneath her body. A hand she immediately recognised, even in darkness. A hand she knew so undeniably well. Shin Yuna’s.

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‘I’m s-sorry I had to do that, let’s go.’ Yuna struggled to speak. It was then that the elder realised that the younger’s ankle was bent at an alarming angle as she watched her pick herself up off the ground. They had both just dropped 4 floors from the ground, but Yuna had worked it out perfectly so that the Chaeryeong would land right on top of her, cushioning her fall. She did it knowing that she, herself, would get severely injured, or even killed. But she still did it... to save her love.

Suddenly, the younger began running, it wasn’t very fast as her ankle was evidently broken. Even thought every step was agony, she kept running, pulling the elder with her.

‘Lee Chaeryeong!’ A rough voice roared from behind them. Yuna looked back to make out the silhouette of a man. A man that she recognised oh too well. A man that banished her from ever seeing his daughter again. A man that threatened to murder her if she was ever caught with her again. His growl echoed across the entirety of the huge empty field. BANG. Then, they realised. He had his gun. He was going to kill Yuna, just as he promised.

Choking on her own breathe, Yuna kept running with Chaeryeong by her side, running as fast as her damaged legs could carry her. Every step was pure, excruciating agony, but her body drew her to keep going and ignore the pain. For Chaeryeong. For her girlfriend.

‘Yuna what the fuck are we going to do?!’ The elder cried, the terror obvious in her frantic voice.

‘Keep... r-running.’ Yuna barely managed to utter. The woods were closer now. There was a secret place at the riverbank deep in the trees that she was sure Chaeryeong’s father would never find her. She knew that if her girlfriend made it there, she would be safe. Yuna sighed with shear relief as she remembered her mobile phone was in her back pocket. She could use it to call the police once she got to the secret place.

The two kept running and running, until Chaeryeong’s father was out of sight. They were almost inside the woods now. They were so close... but all of a sudden, Yuna stopped. She fell into the ground, gasping in pain. The elder’s voice cracked as she yelped, ‘Yuna! What are you doing? We need to run!’

‘Ch-chaeryeong...’ Yuna barely managed to pronounce. She laid there on the freezing cold ground as agony took over her entire body. She reached towards her back pocket and pulled out her phone, before holding it out to Chaeryeong. She stared gently at the elder, waiting for her to take it. Confused, she took it. ‘Listen. I n-need you to go to our secret place, okay?’

Chaeryeong shook her head, dumbfounded. She slowly began to realise what the younger was saying. Utter disbelief struck her. Or was it reluctance to believe? She didn’t know. ‘Yuna... don’t do this. We c-can go together. We can make it, okay? Look! I can carry you on my shoulders. J-just lift yourself up and I can–’ Chaeryeong rambled uncontrollably. She stumbled over her words, practically begging for a miracle to happen. Begging for Yuna’s leg to somehow heal itself so she could run with her. Begging for her father to disappear into thin air so they could finally be together.

But it wasn’t as simple as that.

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‘–Chaer.’ The younger cut her off. Her eyes sparkled with absolute love. Even though she was scared, even though she was in pain, even thought she knew she was going to die... she was happy. She was finally happy. Because Chaeryeong would be saved. ‘Please do this... for me.’

‘B-but I can’t leave you. I can’t leave you Yuna. Please d-don’t do this.’ Chaeryeong began to sob uncontrollably, she fell to Yuna’s side, grabbing ahold of her and crying into her chest. ‘I c-can’t leave you. I can’t leave you I can’t I can’t leave you I can’t leave you–‘

‘Chaer!’ Yuna screeched. She had to go. Now. ‘You have to run, right now.’

Chaer cried, lifting her head to look at her love. She felt her entire world crash around her. She was going to have to do this. For Yuna.

‘Yuna...’ She sobbed. Her heard exploded as she looked into her love’s eyes. ‘I-I love y-you. I l-love you so m-much.’

Yuna smiled that same, faint smile. It was faint, but it was real. A real, happy smile. A smile from a person that was finally complete. ‘I love you too.’

For a second, the two just looked into each others’ eyes. As if the world around them had stopped completely, the only thing that mattered to them was each other. That was it.

It was as simple as that.

BANG. Another gunshot, although it wasn’t in sight, it was closer. Chaeryeong’s father was gaining on her. ‘Go. Now.’ Yuna spoke firmly. The elder had no choice. After one last gaze into the younger’s eyes, she turned around and ran.

She ran as fast as she’d ever ran in her entire life. Despite her whole body burning with pain from the fall, and despite her being so emotionally exhausted that she could barely think straight, she ran. She felt as if a lightening bolt had struck her. She felt as if she was on fire. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was anger. Maybe it was love... she didn’t know. She just kept running and running, deeper and deeper into the woods, until finally... she reached the little cave at the riverbank.

Now this place wasn’t an ordinary place, this place was so hidden and so concealed that it was a miracle that even Chaeryeong and Yuna found it. They found it together when they were on their first date. Well, it wasn’t really a date. They were just in the woods together talking, when the elder suddenly slipped and fell into the river. Yuna was her saviour even then, immediately diving into the river with no hesitation and pulling the elder to the riverbank. that was when they found it. Where the river was shallower, there was a damp cave with a pool of river water inside, about waist-deep. it was so concealed by the surrounding pondweed and darkness that no one would ever be able to find it without going through something like the two girls did.

Wading as fast as she could through the river, she managed to find the cave and hide inside it. It was pitch black, so she pulled out Yuna’s phone from her nightdress pocket and turned it on. The screen was bright but only lit up the cave a little.

A sigh of relief and also of breathlessness left the girls mouth as she finally caught her breathe. She was relatively calm for a moment... until she heard it.

The gunshot. The gunshot that she knew had killed her . The gunshot that she new had killed not just the love of her life, but her best friend. The only person she’d ever loved. And that was it, all it took was a moment to end her life. All it took was a moment to put a stop to the heart of a kind, selfless, loving, beautiful girl. Choking on her tears, Chaeryeong covered her mouth. She couldn’t breathe. That was it. She was gone. Yuna was gone.

And that’s when the remembered what she needed to do, she remembered what the younger had told her. ‘ Call the police’

Frantically, turned the phone around to face her, her hands shaking uncontrollably. But Chaeryeong’s heart stopped as the screen came into her sight. A passcode. A numerical passcode.

Oh shit... What the fuck is it? She panicked. She quickly typed in Yuna’s birthday. She got it wrong a few times due to her trembling fingers, but to her frustration, even when she typed it right, the passcode was incorrect.

She thought deeply. She thought about what 6-number combination would mean something to her girlfriend. What 6-number combination would be special enough for her to put it as her phone passcode?

She paused, her heart dropped. No, it can’t be... can it?

She typed in the numbers. 210616.

At the tap of the final number, the phone unlocked. The passcode was correct.

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Trying not to start sobbing again, she immediately tapped on Phone and dialled 999. As she anxiously waited for the dispatcher to pick up, she thought about that passcode.

The 21st of June 2016... was the day she met Yuna.

‘Hello, you are through to the emergency services. What service do you require?’

‘P-police.’

‘Okay, putting you through now.’

An eternal silence rang in Chaeryeong’s ears. She imagined her father running through the woods towards her in that very moment. Hurry up, hurry up, s he begged in her mind.

‘Hello, this is the police. What’s your emergency?’

‘Help me, quick. My father is coming. H-he’s got a gun. I think he’s going to hurt me... or kill me. Please, please be quick. He shot my g-girlfriend.’

‘Right. What is your location so we can send help?’

Chaeryeong stuttered out her location, describing the cave’s whereabouts in as much detail as possible. She told the dispatcher to tell the police to shout when they were near so she could come out of the cave as they probably wouldn’t find her otherwise.

‘I’ve contacted police, they’re on their way. please stay on the line.’

And from that moment on, Chaeryeong waited and waited in complete mind-numbing anxiety. Her mind was full of thoughts of her father finding the cave and hurting her. Maybe she’d be locked up again. Maybe he’d abuse her. Maybe he’d... kill her.

After what felt like a million years, the silence was broken. A gunshot sounded. She heard shouting. But it wasn’t just one voice, there were many.

It was them... it was the police.

Did they just... shoot my father?

–47 hours later–

‘You’re awake late, Miss Lee.’ Nurse Eun said softly as she wheeled a trolley beside Chaeryeong’s hospital bed. ‘How are you feeling?’

Chaeryeong stared at the end of her bed. The truth was, she felt empty. She felt confused. She felt lifeless. I mean, what did she expect. She’d lost the only person she ever loved two days ago.

‘I’m fine.’

The nurse sighed empathetically, sitting down at the end of her bed. ‘Sweetheart... You’re going to get better.’

Suddenly a wave of anger bubbled up inside the girl. ‘How can I possibly get better? How am i supposed to get better?!’

‘...Chaeryeong, dear. I don’t know the full story of what you’ve been through. I don’t know how you felt when everything happened. And I don’t know how you feel know. But I do know that time heals everything. Even if your wound is the deepest in the world, time will heal it. It’s worth waiting for.’ The nurse smiled, before patting the girl’s knee and getting up.

Chaeryeong watched as the nurse placed a glass of water from the trolley onto her bedside table, and left the room.

Sighing, she reached over and picked up a polaroid. The only photo her parents didn’t destroy. The only photo she owned of Yuna and her. It was a picture of them at graduation, hand in hand and smiling at the camera. The person who took the photo was probably some random old friend of hers. It didn’t really matter.

A warm tear trickled down Chaeryeong’s face as she held the polaroid close to her heart. She remembered how it felt having Yuna’s heart beat against hers. She remembered how it felt to have her arms wrapped tightly around her small frame. She remember how it felt to look into her eyes and see her favourite colour.

‘I miss you Yuna.’ Chaeryeong whispered into the darkness

I miss you too. She almost heard.

Chaeryeong loved Yuna, and Yuna loved Chaeryeong.

It was as simple, and as complicated as that.