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Chapter Text

The Beginning

It is a quiet night. Their energy has long since worn out and neither have spoken in at least a half hour, even Wei WuXian, who always seems to have something to say. Yet, despite the silence, neither have fallen asleep. Lan WangJi typically finds it easier to sleep once Wei WuXian has, mostly due to his lack of squirming and his steady heartbeat. And with how worn out he knows his husband is, Lan WangJi is wondering why his heartbeat still beats rapidly in his chest. Just before he asks, the question is answered. “Do you remember the night we wed?”

“Of course I do.”

“And what you did for me, because of your uncle’s hesitations on adding me to the Lan lineage? You were so insistent, but still, I’m surprised he gave in.”

“Yes…”

“Most of his hesitation was due to hatred of me, obviously. He, to this day, dreads my presence. But I also feel it was because he didn’t want to lose his most precious nephew to such a distraction as marriage. And I’m useless to him, as far as he is concerned, bringing no benefit to the lineage. I haven’t even brought about a Young Master Lan in these years of our marriage. If I did, then perhaps—” As usual, Wei WuXian chattered on without rhyme or reason, and it is becoming a bit difficult for Lan WangJi to follow along...

“Wei Ying, I don’t understand what you are trying to say. I did not marry you to produce a…”

“Lan Zhan, I really want a baby.”

His breath hitches, he swallows hard. Those few words completely changed the direction Lan WangJi thought their conversation was headed. It took a long moment for him to so much as utter a syllable. "What?"

Wei WuXian peeks up at him, the heat on his face radiating, “I want a baby. I love children, they’re so fun and entertaining and… and I know you want children, even if you haven’t said it out loud; you’re so good with them and you would make a perfect father. And why wouldn’t you? You are perfect at everything else.”

Lan WangJi speaks slowly, his voice calm, but his husband can feel his heart quicken, “How could you? Such a thing is unheard of.”

“I thought the same, but honestly Lan Zhan, do not say you haven’t noticed there’s something different about me than a normal man in my lower regions. And- and what if I found a way—”

“No. It is not possible.”

Puffing his cheeks out, Wei WuXian turns onto his side, back to Lan WangJi. “You never reject me like this, Lan Zhan. It isn’t fair.”

Shaking his head, Lan WangJi asks, “How long have you wanted this?”

“A long time. This isn’t a heat of the moment idea. Think of it… a baby of our own…”
“Wei Ying, do not fool around with such ideas… when it is not possible."

Wei WuXian ignores him, arms crossed. He refuses to speak to him for the rest of the night.

Neither sleep well.

.

Wei WuXian upkeeps his stance into the next day. When Lan WangJi starts waking him at five, as usual, instead of his hand being kissed, he is met with Wei WuXian swatting him away and burying himself deeper under the blanket. Wei WuXian had teased him before about bearing children, but he’d never been so serious about it. And it wasn’t like him to carry a bad mood for long, either.

At a loss of what to do, he consults his brother about it. Lan XiChen agrees that it is, indeed, not possible, but asks, “Why do you not simply adopt a young child? You’ve done so once before.”

While he thanks his brother for the suggestion, he knows deep down that Wei WuXian may not be able to compromise and agree on adopting until his baby fever has subsided. Later in the day, Wei WuXian is back to his normal self, and the subject is dropped. Neither bring it up again. 

***

First Month

Lan WangJi always enters the bedroom quietly, hardly making even the slightest of sounds. And yet, when he comes in that night as always, Wei WuXian shoots him a glare. “Why are you being so careless? I could have been asleep.”

Lan WangJi said nothing, but made sure to be even quieter when moving about the room. After the bath was drawn, he stood before it as if to invite Wei WuXian, who snapped, “ You should bathe. I already did earlier. I have such a headache, so don’t talk to me, Lan Zhan. I mean it.”

“Is that why you are so cross?”

“I am not cross !”

Internally sighing, Lan WangJi bathes quietly and does as asked, not bothering Wei WuXian or even breathing audibly. About a half hour passes in this way. Then, Wei WuXian bursts into tears, still unable to sleep. “Look, now I’ve made you angry with me. You were right, I was cross, but it was not your fault! It’s this stupid headache!”

“I am not angry.” he replies quietly. 

“You are!”

“I am not.”

“If you were, you’d never say it, so how can I— ohh, my head aches so much, don’t talk anymore!”

“Shall I find something to ease your headache?”

“Please…”

Turning the place upside down, he eventually finds a tonic and Wei WuXian downs it in one sip. To both of their relief, the headache subsides quickly.

Then, Lan WangJi slips into bed, quiet as a mouse, and it seems that Wei WuXian is finally able to rest. But their night is far from over. 

Halfway through the night, Wei WuXian rolls over the side of the bed and vomits, he claims from his headache.

They are in a living hell for the next few weeks as Wei WuXian is sick every day, seldom getting any rest. No physician can diagnose the issue, all recommend bedrest and plain foods. Indeed, the GusuLan Sect’s plain, sometimes inedible foods are all that Wei WuXian can keep down.

Nobody outside of their home knew what was happening, as it was rare for Wei WuXian to be seen before noon anyway, and if Lan WangJi looked a bit more tired than usual, no one said anything about it. Of course Lan XiChen noticed, but he had to assume the reasoning was something he didn’t want Lan XiChen to know about. It wasn’t until Lan WangJi actually fell asleep while sitting by his brother in the middle of the day that he finally asked (after gently nudging him awake). 

After apologizing profusely, Lan WangJi simply said that Wei WuXian had been sick as of late. 

***

Second Month

“Lan Zhan!” Wei WuXian bounces excitedly on the porch of the Bamboo Cottage that evening in August, though it is past curfew and noise is prohibited at that time. Lan WangJi thinks about shushing him, but there is a light, an excitement in his husband’s eyes that would be criminal to shut down, especially when he’s been so gloomy and ill as of late. He instead silences him in a gentler way: with a kiss. Wei WuXian only allows him a brief kiss before pulling away with a grin. “I have to talk to you!” He pulls him into the cottage and kicks the door shut with his foot. “Sit, sit! I’ve just warmed your dinner up for you. I didn’t make it, of course, so don’t be too surprised. SiZhui is a decent cook, he gets that from you, not me.”

Lan WangJi sits at the table, but he’s too curious at Wei WuXian’s intentions to eat quite yet. “What did you want to say?”

“Well. I got tired of being so grumpy and ill, so I hunted down a female physician in town, since none of the men seem to know anything, and I heard she was quite good. In order to find her, I asked the physician that was here...he was visiting with your uncle, so you can imagine how much my presence was welcomed.” He sits on the edge of the table and clasps his hands together. “I think your uncle almost had a heart attack from being near me for so long! Huffing and puffing and telling me to go away, but I wouldn’t budge until I was seen. Anyway, he told me where to find the woman. She poked and prodded all over and gave me a diagnosis. It is very grim! I will be sick like this for a long time.”

Lan WangJi raises a brow, surprised that Wei WuXian doesn’t appear at all concerned. “What… what illness do you have?”

“Something very, very serious. Sometimes it can be deadly!”

His throat constricts, his face goes white, and Wei WuXian laughs at him, exclaiming, “Oh, don’t be so frightened, I’ll just say it! We’re going to have a baby!”

His mouth falls slack as he looks Wei WuXian up and down. Lips moving into a frown, he says, “Do not joke around.”

“Ah, that’s what I thought you’d say. But it’s true. I told you I’d find a way to bear you a Young Master Lan, and that’s exactly what I’m doing! If anything, I’m a man of my word.”

“Wei Ying, enough .”

“Still, he thinks I’m lying! Hahaha, Lan Zhan, you’re a fool. I’ll admit I was skeptical at first, too, but then… I saw it for myself.”

“How?”
“I can feel their energy in me… and you could too, if you’d give it a chance.” 

“I do not understand how this is—”

“Lan Zhan, when two people such as ourselves practice dual cultivation as much as we do, and with you doing me so intensely night and day, I cannot see how you’re suprised at all. It explains why I’ve been so sick too. Do you believe me, now?”
“...” And then, “Yes…”

“I know it seems crazy, and it’s a lot to take in, even for someone as smart as you. But what do you think?”

Lan WangJi is silent for a long moment, and Wei WuXian fears he isn’t happy about the baby. That he no longer wants what he used to. Impossible! Lan WangJi loves children, and the longing look he’s caught on many occasions confirms that still. Even Zewu-jun told him just last week that Lan WangJi wants children of his own someday, though looking back, that seemed a bit like foreshadowing. He wonders if he knew something…

“Oh, say something, Lan Zhan! If you are unhappy, I…”

All of the sudden, Lan WangJi drags him across the table into his lap and gives him a fervent kiss, his shoulders shaking, and when Wei WuXian pulls away, he sees that his husband is smiling and actually laughing … he is happy! Wei WuXian feels giddy, almost dizzy with love and admiration of that rare laugh...

“When… when is it…”

“Early spring. Oh, aren’t you excited?”

“Early spring!” Lan WangJi repeats, hugging him fiercely. His face is buried in Wei WuXian’s neck and he can feel it getting damp. “How could I be unhappy? How could I ever be unhappy when… when you are—”

“Don’t get too emotional yet, Lan Zhan, we have many months ahead of us.” He reminds him, though his eyes glisten with tears as well. The two embrace tightly, a wave of relief washing over them after months of worry and impatience.

“I love you,” Lan WangJi murmurs against his neck, pressing kisses here and there. It was rare for him to say those words, he was more of a man of action. Hearing them, Wei WuXian knew how thrilled his husband was. 

***

But the pleasant times, at least for a while, end there. Wei WuXian suffers from a nasty case of morning sickness which keeps him weak and sick for weeks on end. It technically began some time ago and now it raged on so they were unable to properly tell anyone else, not even Lan XiChen. Lan WangJi took a few days off to care for him instead of relying on the physician alone. Besides, Wei WuXian found much more comfort in his husband anyway.

Lan WangJi stayed by his side, never complaining, rubbing his back, administering the medicine, always patient. Wei WuXian appreciated his efforts of course, but he also felt incredibly embarrassed and expressed that shame through tormenting Lan WangJi in the evenings, even more than usual. He can tell that Lan WangJi’s patience is wearing thin and feels even worse. He can only keep down the bland food he used to loath, and every day he asks the gods what he did to deserve this.

One day, Lan WangJi’s patience runs short when Wei WuXian repeatedly pesters him while he is walking with his brother and ended up saying something embarrassing enough to make Lan XiChen raise his eyebrows and press a finger to his lips as he looked away. Shameless is a word Lan WangJi often used to describe Wei WuXian, but he was never this shameless. Lan WangJi gave him a stern look, essentially told him to knock it off (but regretted it immediately) and that was all it took to shatter Wei WuXian’s heart into a million pieces. Not because Lan WangJi was rude— he wasn't at all— but because he knows he’s being annoying and can’t help himself. It was a shame, too, as this is the only day he’s been well enough to walk outside in the afternoon. 

He excuses himself quickly and runs off, hiding away in some remote place to have a good pout. He is gone long enough to worry the brothers. (One of them, anyway, until Lan WangJi informs Lan XiChen of exactly why they should be worrying, then all hell breaks loose)

They find him at a stranger’s lake, stuffed with lotus pods and looking very sorry for himself. 

“Wei Ying…”

The man in question wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and sighs. “I’m sorry, Lan Zhan. I am staying here for the duration of the pregnancy.”

He glanced around. “Right here?”
“Yes. I can crawl out and grab the lotus pods. I can lay out in the sun all day like a miserable, dying fish. And no one will be around to see me in my shame.”

“I could pick lotus pods for you, and take them home with us. You shouldn’t stay out here alone.”

“I embarrassed you in front of your brother. You shouldn’t want anything to do with me.”

“You know I am not angry with you.”

“You should be.”

“It is not as big a deal as you believe it to be.” Lan XiChen finally speaks up, making his presence known from behind his brother, “And… I know about your condition now, so I understand.”

“You do…? Lan Zhan, you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone yet!”

He smiles weakly. “I thought it would persuade him to help me find you.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” Lan XiChen assures the two of them. “But I believe Uncle already knows. And you will have to tell everyone eventually, Young Master Wei. The Juniors are already highly suspicious of your lack of mischief."

***

Third Month

Lan WangJi reminds himself that he must get used to not being the first one up in the mornings. When it first started happening, it panicked him until he remembered why Wei WuXian might be out of bed, but by then he'd already turned the Jingshi upside down looking for Wei WuXian, who would later laugh at him for acting in such a way. He still has the knee-jerk reaction, but instead of flying out of bed in search of his dear husband, he stays still and calms himself with the reminder that Wei WuXian isn’t in any danger, he's just sick— very sick, most mornings— and he doesn't like to be smothered when he's sick, he got tired of it after a while.

Sure enough, Wei WuXian returns to bed a short while later and crawls into Lan WangJi’s arms. His skin is pale and clammy but he doesn’t seem to be sick anymore.

Or at least, nothing like how he has been in the past few weeks.

“Why do you wake every time I’m gone?” He whispers and presses a kiss to Lan WangJi’s neck. “I’m not going anywhere important. And I always come back.”

.

One afternoon a few days later, Wei WuXian catches Lan SiZhui staring at him for longer than socially acceptable while the two walk together towards the nearby town. “What are you looking at?” Wei WuXian laughs at the youth, who immediately looks away once called out. “N-Nothing, Senior Wei!”

“Nothing is always something. What is it?”

“It would be wrong of me to—”

“What do I care about what’s wrong to say? I hardly ever shut my mouth. So, spit it out. If it’s something bad, I won’t tell your Hanguang-jun.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Lan SiZhui blurts, “Are you ill, Senior Wei?” 

“Ill…?”

“You grow thinner every time I see you! And… and Sir keeps yelling at Hanguang-jun to feed you more, and I know he does, so… why are you so thin?”

“Are you worried about me? Is the old man worried about me?! I don't believe that part, but...” Wei WuXian's face turns grim as he adds darkly, “You’re right. I am ill. Gravely.”

“W-What? No, Senior Wei, that’s terrible! Should you really be up and about? Here, let me help you back to the—” Wei WuXian burst out laughing, startling the poor boy further. “What’s funny?”

“Hahaha, poor kid, I’m sorry I’m so mean to you…” Wei WuXian holds his side which cramps from too much laughter. “Look, I’m sick, but I’m not gonna die. You can relax now.” Wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, he turns serious again. “If I tell you the truth, you cannot tell a soul. Only Lan Zhan and Zewu-jun know it, and if the news gets out to anyone else…”

“I promise I won’t tell!”

“I believe you.” Wei WuXian glances around quickly. “Hmm… it’s too open here. Let’s wait a bit, yeah? Make sure that no one else is around to overhear.”

.

They walk a while further and eventually arrive in the village. “This is far more open than the forest was, Senior Wei…” Lan SiZhui points out.

“Yes, that’s the point here. There are so many voices that ours would be hard to distinguish. But in a quiet forest, we are the only ones talking. Here, let’s get something to eat, I’m hungry. I’ll tell you when we get inside.”

The shop they choose to dine in is possibly the busiest one, and Wei WuXian sits them in a corner where they can hardly be seen. Why is he being so secretive about his illness ? Lan SiZhui wonders, but he says nothing. 

After they order, Wei WuXian takes a deep breath and turns to Lan SiZhui. “Listen, what I’m about to say is going to sound crazy, but this isn’t a joke.” 

“Okay…”

“And don’t laugh. You’ll hurt my feelings.”

“Please tell me, Senior Wei, I’m worried about you!”

It's only the second time he will have been able to say these words to someone else as Lan WangJi stole his chance the time before. He finds himself oddly nervous but decides to fight through the anxiety and get it over with. Worst case scenario, Lan SiZhui doesn't believe him. He smiles wryly at Lan SiZhui and utters two words that he knows will shock the poor junior...

Chapter Text

Fourth Month

Oh, the joys of waking up in the morning without your stomach trying to turn itself inside out! Wei WuXian begins to rejoice once his morning sickness subsided; in his mind he could go back to eating his usual diet and then some to make up for the time lost eating the bland foods of the past three months. In celebration of his strengthening health and upcoming birthday, Lan WangJi takes him and Lan SiZhui to Caiyi Town so that Wei WuXian can eat all the spice he wants to. Wei WuXian orders a variety of spicy dishes while the Lan’s go for something more reasonable. Wei WuXian is the first to dig in, but he stops after his first bite and says nothing. 

“Why aren’t you eating, Senior Wei?” Lan SiZhui asks. “Is it cold?”

“No, I just don’t want it.” He says, aloof, and rests a hand on his cheek. “I guess I’m not as hungry as I thought I’d be.”

“Is it too spicy?” Lan SiZhui asks again.

“What? No way! It’s just… oh, don’t mind me, SiZhui. I’m in a delicate condition and all that so who knows how that’s tainted my tastebuds.”

“Maybe you should try one of the other dishes.” He suggests, surprised that Lan WangJi doesn’t seem at all concerned with Wei WuXian’s lack of appetite. 

“No, even the smell of all that spice is taking away my appetite. Well, if Lan Zhan had any doubts about his paternity…” Sighing sadly, Wei WuXian covers the bowls and pushes himself to his feet. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

.

“Hanguang-jun, why did you not say anything?” Lan SiZhui asks after Wei WuXian left the table. “And let him go?”

“He saw someone.” Lan WangJi says, vague as always.

“Who? Where?” The boy cranes his neck around to look at the guests but he cannot recognize any of them. 

“Sit properly. He will be back.”

.

“People were starting to wonder if you’d died again, that’s how long it’s been since anyone’s seen you.” Jiang Cheng scoffs, back pressed against the wall. “Why have you been hiding out? What trouble did you get yourself into? Did they make you go into seclusion or something stupid like that?”
“I’ve gotten into trouble. Lots of it.” Wei WuXian replies sharply. “So much that it’ll affect the rest of my life. Can’t you see I look different?”

Jiang Cheng looks him up and down, eyes narrow. Watching Wei WuXian’s mischievious look with his arms still hugging his stomach, he sighs deeply. “No, no no…Please, no.”

“You’re a lot brighter than you used to be, Sect Leader Jiang.”

“You’re an idiot, but I should’ve known, huh? Of course you’d be the one to show everyone up again, defying all the odds. You just can’t help yourself.”

“You’ll be surprised to know that none of that was my intention. I simply wanted a child, and so I got one. And they will be the greatest cultivator in all of the world, it’s impossible to think otherwise. Maybe that’s why you’re actually mad, just thinking about it. The YiLing Patriarch and the Heir of the Lan Clan with their combined capabilities? No other child will be such a prodigy, or as protected.”
“Protected, huh?” Jiang Cheng’s expression softens greatly. “So all of them over in the Lan Sect, they all know?”

“No, besides Lan Zhan and SiZhui, you’re the only one I’ve told, and no one else will know for now.”

“What about when you get… bigger, I guess? Then what?”

“I go hide out in the wilderness somewhere like the strange beast I am and come back months later with a tiny human. Nothing more strange than my usual doings.”

“But if people ask, what will you--”
“There’s nothing I can say. They’ll probably think I kidnapped the child or I fathered it somehow and killed its mother. And if it’s anything like me, it’ll be hated by the outside world just as much because it came from me, but I don’t care. So long as I--”

“You’re wrong, Wei WuXian, and you know it. There may still be people that hate you, but they don’t know the truth. And lucky for you, that kid is also the offspring of… him,” Jiang Cheng says, referring to Lan WangJi, “so it will be protected by the whole clan, and there will be some outsiders too.”

“Yeah, like who?”

“Wen Ning, for starters, he’s fiercely loyal to you. I’d trust that he’d protect that kid with everything he’s got. And so would I and everyone in the Jiang Sect.”

Wei WuXian’s mouth hangs open. “What… you? But-”

“Don't ask about it or I'll change my mind."

Smiling faintly, Wei WuXian nods and turns to leave. “Wait! When will it-- you know… come out? Ugh, I don’t even want to think about how… ”

After a pause, he replies, “I will write to you in the spring and tell you when you can visit.” He starts to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “And don’t say you don’t want to, mister, I know you’re curious! Sending Jin Ling won’t be enough.”

Jiang Cheng protests, of course, but once Wei WuXian is out of sight, he smiles and shakes his head. Knowing Wei WuXian is still listening around the corner, he calls, “Does it count to celebrate your birthday in someone else’s body?”

“You know what? I’m not sure. But even if I knew what his birthday was, Lan Zhan would probably still celebrate mine.”

“Fair enough…”

“...Jiang Cheng.”

“Yeah?”

“You’ll come, right?”

“...”
“After the baby’s born, I mean. Not that I’m saying you’d be its uncle, you’d never want to do that, and I’m not sure I want you to be. But…”
“Yeah. I’ll come. I’ll bring Jin Ling too.”

After a while, Wei WuXian doesn’t say anymore and Jiang Cheng realizes that he must’ve gone back inside. Later, he watches Wei WuXian leave with Lan WangJi and Lan SiZhui— his family— and maybe they aren’t so bad… but he won’t think too much about it now.

.

“I’m sorry I wasted a trip here.” Wei WuXian says once the two of them are home and safe in the confines of their room. “I guess from now on, we can stick to plain food. It certainly saves you money, these eating habits of mine.” 

Lan WangJi catches his hand and kisses it softly. 

After both are undressed and settled, Lan WangJi asks, “Did you tell him?”

Knowing exactly what he’s referring to, Wei WuXian replies, “Yeah, I did. He took it better than expected.”

“Mn. Good.”

“I… asked him to visit. After… you know.”

“If that is what you want, I am fine with it too.”

“Yeah, I doubt he’ll actually come, though.” Snuggling into Lan WangJi’s arms, he adds, “I don’t even know why I asked him to. This baby’s making me lose my logic.”

“They are not.” Lan WangJi kisses his forehead.

“They are so. Making me… be nice to people and eat nothing but healthy foods… why are they punishing me like this?”

“Are you unhappy that we are having a child?”

“No, of course not! They’re just being a little frustrating as of recent. I love them more than anything…”

“I love them too.”

***

Fifth Month

Their evenings were once spent in a very different way, but now as time goes on, the baby completely takes up their free time, and it hasn’t even been born yet. It all began in the late autumn, when Wei WuXian felt the child move within him for the first time. He found it absolutely fascinating and humorous in the fact that Lan WangJi couldn’t feel it for himself quite yet. He didn’t say he was impatient, but everything Lan WangJi is can be found in what he does not say.

Despite frequent reminders that he won’t feel any movement, Lan WangJi’s hand is always at some place on Wei WuXian’s stomach at night, waiting for the moment when he can finally feel the little human they’re bringing into the world in just a few short months. Speaking of which, the whole idea is still unbelievable in some aspects. Many, many people in the Sect still do not and will not know about the child until they are born, but there is one person who finally had to be informed, whether they liked it or not: Lan QiRen.

Yes, it was the beginning of November, a crisp, cold day, and Wei WuXian hated the idea of leaving their warm bed to be lectured by the old man and wanted Lan WangJi to deal with it alone, but they both knew that Lan QiRen wouldn’t believe the story without seeing it for himself. So he bundled himself up in his warmest robes and held Lan WangJi’s arm the entire walk to their undoubtable lecture. “Maybe I’ll finally stress him to death.”

“He will have to get over it.”

Grinning, Wei WuXian mulls on his words the rest of the walk. Instead of his usual “wait for me outside”, he walks right in with Wei WuXian, who suddenly feels very unsure. Mostly on if he can hold his tongue should Lan QiRen start to insult Lan WangJi or his baby. An insult against himself he could take and was well used to by this point, but Lan WangJi didn’t deserve anything negative to be said about him, and his baby a hundred times moreso. 

The old man had already been informed that they were coming, so that spared at least a little bit of his anger. But not a minute after Wei WuXian sat near him, the veins in his neck began to poke out a bit. Eventually, he’ll have to look at Wei WuXian directly, and that should be very interesting…

Lan WangJi is the one to explain. He’s good at getting his point across in as few words as possible. 

“This is ridiculous! WangJi, you cannot honestly expect me to believe this foolishness!”

“It is the truth, Uncle.” Lan WangJi replies evenly, eye contact never wavering. “And we have known of this for more than three months.”

“Three months? Hah! If it was true, then why wouldn’t you have said do earlier??”

“Anyone who was important already was told ages ago,” Wei WuXian informs him with a bitter smile. “Your Sect Leader’s known since almost the beginning, and he didn’t throw a fit about it.”
“Wei Ying…” Lan WangJi mumbles, placing a hand over Wei WuXian’s knee.

“WangJi, I beg of you, please tell me you are not reproducing with this… this…”

“This shameless, frivolous, impudent disgrace? Don’t worry, I finished it for you!” Wei WuXian pushed himself into a standing position, while also shoving the table forward a few feet. “And I don’t have to raise this shameless, frivolous, impudent little disgrace of a baby here either!”

“You are a disgrace to everything we are here, Wei WuXian, and any child coming from you will be one and the same. You are—”
He froze in his tracks. He spun around and faces the old man, thrusting a finger at him. “ Don’t you ever say anything about my child again !”

“Do not forget yourself, Wei WuXian!” Lan QiRen’s face is blood red, and even Lan WangJi looks somewhat ready to burst. “The only reason you are here is because of our generosity. If it were up to me--”

“Uncle, that is enough.” Lan WangJi interjects, shocking everybody in the room. Wei WuXian knows he will be lectured for doing such a thing, and right now he doesn’t care.

“I know, if it were up to you, I’d be gone, out on the street! Child or not! It’d be better out on the street than stuck here with you! I can't do... I can't do shit without you throwing a fucking tantrum!"

For three days after that confrontation, it is said that Lan QiRen was on bedrest due to his high blood pressure.

.

These days, no one lets Wei WuXian drink, so when he gets overly angry or stressed, he walks. Be it a mile or ten, it doesn’t matter, he walks until the anger subsides. Knowing that it will probably take fifty miles to wear off this anger, he thinks ahead and brings water.

Just as he’s leaving the Sect, Lan SiZhui catches up with him. “Where are you going, Senior Wei?”
“I don’t know.” 

“Does Hanguang-jun know you’re—”
“Oh, why does he need to know? I can do whatever I want, SiZhui. Aren’t you late for a class or something?” He didn’t mean to sound so harsh, and he’d never take his anger out on that sweet young boy. "I just... need to be alone. Okay?"

"Yeah."

Lan SiZhui didn’t follow him.

Kicking rocks out of his way, Wei WuXian storms down the path without notice or care for anyone else who may be around. That old fat bastard holds the longest grudges ! It’s getting ridiculous ! He thinks, taking a swig from the water jug. I’ve changed, haven’t I ? I don’t cause any mischief anymore. I make his beloved nephew happy. I’m literally giving them another heir to this shithole.  

Okay, the Lan Sect is not a shithole and he would never say that out loud. And even though he only thought it, he still feels a bit bad for thinking it as most of the time he is quite happy here and lives far more luxuriously than he ever would have anyplace else. Their home is comfortable and he never wants for anything…

As he was too focused on his thoughts, he accidentally stumbled on a log and tripped after some miles of walking. Having no desire to get back onto his feet, he stayed seated on the ground, hugging his knees the best he could. In any case, I can always just forbid my child from seeing the old man. Maybe I won’t let them join the Sect at all. Lan Zhan and I can start our own Sect without all these stupid rules and bossy old men.

...

“Are you alright, Young Master Wei?” Startled, he turns around to see white robes (to his dismay) and knew the voice to be of Lan XiChen.

“Yeah just… just sitting around.”

“Ah, the middle of the path probably isn’t very comfortable though, is it?”

“I’ve sat in better places.” Wei WuXian admits, accepting Lan XiChen’s hand to help him get up. “What are you doing out here, Sect Leader Lan?”

“You don’t have to be that formal, Young Master Wei. And I am only here because I heard the ruckus my uncle caused, and then saw you leaving with a pack over your shoulder. I was curious to see how far you’d go.”

“Hmmph. I wonder if I should go back.” Wei WuXian dusted off his backside and began to walk again in the same direction, Lan XiChen at his side. “I could probably live up in one of these trees and scare the locals into dropping their belongings to run away. I could then—”
“That won’t be necessary.”

“I don’t belong at your Sect. I want to, terribly, and I really do like it there. But it will never work, not so long as there are Sect rules against me. And- and… what, my child will then be forbidden to speak to me within the Sect? My child?”

Lan XiChen is quiet for a long moment, finger pressed to his lips. “I suppose that won’t do at all.”

“I’ve made mistakes, plenty of them. And I’m not ashamed of them right now, but if my child was ashamed of me, I don’t know how I could live with myself.”

“I understand. A child should never have to bear that sort of weight.” After another pause, he says, “Come back to the Sect. I will speak to the elders on yours and my brother’s behalves, everything will be fine.” Wei WuXian gives him a skeptic look, and so Lan XiChen adds, “You may have forgotten who is the leader of the Sect, Young Master Wei.”

Hesitantly, he agrees. “But only because my feet hurt and it’s getting too cold, not because I’m confident anyone will ever remove a rule from that wall.”

“No, we typically don’t,” Lan XiChen laughs softly. “But you’ve done well to follow most of them since you began living here, I will say.”

.

Lan XiChen returns Wei WuXian, safe and sound, to his brother’s cottage with a promise that things won’t be as bad as Wei WuXian fears them to be, after the baby is born. Even though Lan XiChen sounded confident in his words, he’s still not convinced life would be any better here until Lan QiRen dies or finally says “good riddance” and moves away, neither of which seem likely at this point.

He grabs a snack for himself and buries himself away in the sheets for a nice late morning nap, thoroughly exhausted from his ten mile hike and the emotional distress of the morning…

***

“Wei Ying.” Lan WangJi’s voice is stern when he comes into the bedroom, and Wei WuXian pretends to be dead on the floor to avoid being scolded. Lan WangJi stepped over him and places a box on the desk. “Get up. I brought dinner.”

Wei WuXian lifts his head. “Aren’t you furious with me? Aren’t you planning on punishing me greatly? Making me sleep on the floor?”

“No. Get up.”

“I didn’t mean to run my mouth off like that. I’m tired, you know. Sometimes I forget myself.”

“It’s alright. Come here?”

Wei WuXian slowly rolls onto his side and then to his feet, moving into his husband’s lap. “I really am sorry for saying those things.”

“As I have said, there is no such thing as sorry between—”
“But I am . You were lectured on my behalf, weren’t you?”

“No.” He opens the box and takes out the dishes, filling the air with the sweet smell of spice, then places chopsticks in his hands. “Eat.”

“Well, if he didn’t lecture you about me, then what did he say?” Wei WuXian refuses to eat until he knows.

“He said you were too thin.”

Wei WuXian laughed at the revelation and threw his arms around his husband’s neck. “You're such a bad liar, Lan Zhan, but I love you anyway."

“Mn… if you do, you will eat this.”

Sitting crosslegged, he eats dutifully, but he can never stay quiet for long. “I ran into your brother.”
Lan WangJi seems a bit surprised. “How?”

“I was walking, trying to calm myself down, and he followed me from the Sect. He persuaded me to come back…”
“Brother… has not left his seclusion today.”

“What are you saying, Lan Zhan? Of course he did, I saw him with my own eyes!”

Lan WangJi is puzzled as he is sure that Lan XiChen has hardly left seclusion in a long while. In fact, he visited him only moments ago, where he was in the same position as he’d been since morning. “How far did you walk?”

“I was several miles away by the time he caught up. He told me he’d talk to the elders on our behalf.”

“That is not possible… I do not understand.”

“I didn’t imagine him.”

“I know.”
“Then what’s the problem?”

“Everyone saw you leave. No one saw him. Are you sure it was him?”

“Look, Lan Zhan, just because you all dress in white and wear that ribbon doesn’t mean I can’t tell you apart. It looked just like him… unless you think it was a spirit? Has anyone died recently?”

“No…”

Wei WuXian decided that it indeed had been Lan XiChen, but Lan WangJi wasn’t convinced. When he asked his brother about it later, he recalled no such thing.

***

Lan WangJi hasn’t tried to get Wei WuXian up at a decent hour in weeks. Late last month, the horrible morning sickness finally subsided, and Wei WuXian had plenty of sleep to catch on. So, he leaves him be after the first prod— waking him only to say he was leaving for the day— and doesn’t mind returning in the afternoon to find that Wei WuXian only recently got up. He’s gained a small bit of weight, but he is still small and laments that he isn’t showing enough to brag about the pregnancy.

One morning, before any hints of sun climb through the windows, Lan WangJi prepares to get up as always, knowing it is five. Usually, he can effortlessly roll Wei WuXian’s sleeping form off of him and onto the pillow beside them, but this morning, Wei WuXian will not budge. He is already awake, which is shocking enough as it is, and clings tighter when Lan WangJi tries to move him. “Wei Ying…”

“Please hold me awhile longer, Lan Zhan.” Wei WuXian whispers, nuzzling his face into his husband’s chest. 

“Very well.” He waits a while, but eventually, he really must get up, and Wei WuXian whines all the way, but eventually relents. 

.

Wei WuXian is quiet still, much more reserved than he once was. He spends most of his time with the juniors and at Lan WangJi’s side, but he never teases him out in the open as he used to. His smiles are rare in public, except undoubtedly when Lan WangJi asks, hand on Wei WuXian’s waist, “How is my child?”

That always perks him up, and Lan WangJi knows it. Today is no different. He places a hand on his just slightly visible bump (his loose robes hold an advantage in that aspect). “Kicking and kicking! I did not realize that the Lan Sect was so dedicated as to begin training so early as in the womb! I think they’re fighting a siege in there!”

Lan WangJi smiles too. “Good. It means they are strong like you.”

“It’s not such a good thing, you know! It can be very annoying when I’m trying to sleep, or to focus, or do anything! And they love your Sect’s plain, boring food, and none of mine! I’m going to eat like a pig when they are born.”

“Mn. They’re taking care of you, then. Making you eat healthier things.”

“I’ll feed them spices every day until they can stomach it like I can!”

***

Sixth Month

“Lan Zhan, are you awake?” Wei WuXian calls out in the dark one night at the beginning of winter. It is a cold night, and they are pressed close together to keep warm (though they’d sleep this way in the heat of the summer just the same).

“Mn?”

“What shall you name your child?” He turns towards his husband, eyes bright and curious. “Shall its name be something secret?”
“No.”
“I’m fine with any name you choose as long as you don’t name it after that uncle of yours! I would never sleep with you again if you did.”

“Lies.” He stretches and yawns softly. “We’ll name it Wangxian then.”

“Wangxian??? Hahaha, you cannot—”
“Is there something wrong with the name?”
“It isn’t noble enough for the honorable Lan Sect. It doesn’t mean anything!”

“To them,” He says, closing his eyes once more.

“What if we named the baby Lan?”
“... Lan Lan?”

“Wouldn’t that be a good joke?”

“It should not be a joke.”

“What about Lan Wei? Your uncle would have me removed!”

“In any case, I will not name the child until I have seen them.”

.

“Lan Zhan!” He whispers sharply in the dark not an hour later. Lan WangJi jolts awake unable to reply before Wei WuXian says, “Give me your hand!”

He does, and Wei WuXian places it atop his stomach, which looks rounder every day and is much more noticeable without his many garnishings. “Do you feel that?”

“Mn.” Even though he cannot see his husband’s face, he can feel him smiling widely against his shoulder. His heart swells. “What do you think?”

“They can’t stay still. Just like you.” He kisses Wei WuXian’s neck softly. 

“They must like the name Lan Wei, as that’s the last thing I thought about. Lan Zhan?” The back of his robe is damp and Lan WangJi is very quiet. Too quiet…

“Here, let me face you.” He turns around and cups Lan WangJi’s face in his hands. “Why are you so beautiful when you cry? It’s unfair.” He pulls him in for a kiss, but Lan WangJi never moves his hands away from his stomach. “Rest your head there, Lan Zhan.”

Lan WangJi does so at once, still hugging him. He is smiling— sure, his smile is small, but it’s there, and it makes Wei WuXian’s heart bloom. Nothing has ever felt so right.

***

“Have you seen Wen Ning as of late, SiZhui?” Wei WuXian asks when the two of them and Lan WangJi are seated at dinner the next day. Still eating plain food, and what’s worse is that Wei WuXian craves it now.

“Not since a month or two ago, Senior Wei. He asked about you.”

“And what did you say?”

“That you were well. I- I didn’t tell him about—“

“Of course you didn’t, because you’re a good kid and you promised me you wouldn’t. I think I should tell him, though. He might be the only person who will immediately have a happy reaction.”

“I was very happy to find out.” Lan WangJi corrects him. 

“Not true. You thought I was lying. You know, that mean old Sect Leader Jiang was actually the first to guess, I hadn’t even said anything and he already knew.” Turning to Lan SiZhui, he says, “You know what, next time you sneak out to Night Hunt with him— and don’t try denying that, SiZhui, I stay up late and rise early these days— you tell him. And if he wants to see me, that can be arranged too.”

“Not here.” Lan WangJi adds.

“No, not here. Someplace else… anyplace else.”

.

A few nights later, Lan SiZhui sneaks away a little less quietly without his friends to find his Uncle Ning in the forest. Sure enough, he’s waiting there, ableit surprised that there aren’t any others along with him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t bring anyone else because they don’t know.”

“Don’t know… what?”

“Promise you won’t tell… but Senior Wei and Hanguang-jun are um… expecting a child.”

“Is that so?” Wen Ning glances around, “Why is it a secret, then?”

“Well… well Senior Wei is afraid of the news getting into the wrong hands. Hardly anyone knows.”

“That would be surprising if I did not understand his reasoning.”

“He wants to see you,” Lan SiZhui brightens up. “Soon, away from the Sect, obviously. Hanguang-jun told me he is taking Senior Wei on a trip in a week or two. Maybe then… I’m only disappointed that I won’t be able to come.”

“Ah. On the contrary, I was sure you would be glad not to.”

Thinking about what he already lives with, minus the quiet rules in the evening, Lan SiZhui shudders. 

***

Seventh Month

Wei WuXian seems to lose strength in the seventh month. His skin pales and he says very little throughout the day. He is able to eat but does little of it. Still, he insists that he’s fine and doesn’t want to rest, rather he wants to be up and about. It is clear to see he is already growing uncomfortable with his size, both physically and emotionally, and because most of the Sect doesn’t know, he covers up the best he can to disguise it anytime he leaves the cottage.

But Lan WangJi knows he is torn about this. He knows Wei WuXian wants to celebrate this new life and show it off to everyone he meets. But he also understands there is danger in that, should their lovely news fall into the wrong hands. And Wei WuXian is tired of disapproval and shock. He wants people to be happy for him, for both of them, but hardly anyone is.

He’s become lonely. Spending most of his days in near seclusion and being unable to do anything fun in fear of harming the baby, there’s hardly anything to do or anyone to talk to. Lan XiChen promised to talk to the elders but they haven’t spoken since and the “Wei WuXian Rules” still gleam on the side of the mountain. Sect leader or not, Lan XiChen can’t change the opinions of the elders who Wei WuXian himself ruined his reputation for.

This isn’t the way Lan WangJi would ever want Wei WuXian to feel. He knows it’s hard enough to living in a sect that’s so strict, but now having to be even more strict with himself… it’s not easy.

“You are distracted today, WangJi.” Lan XiChen comments, snapping Lan WangJi out of his monologue. He’d almost forgotten that the two of them were meditating beside each other, spending the limited time they had together as usual. “What’s troubling you?”

Frowning, Lan WangJi straightens his posture and closes his eyes again. “He is unwell. That is all. He will be alright.” 

Lan XiChen places a finger to his lips. “Mn… why don’t you take him away for a while? Someplace he’d like. That should brighten his spirits.”

“I wouldn’t want to leave for so long.” 

“Nonsense, WangJi. Your marital obligations, for now, fall above any other responsibility. Go for a month. Just bring him back in time for the child to be born here.”

***

And so, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi are to leave on the first day of the week in the middle of January and planned to return about a month later, depending on how quickly Wei WuXian progressed in the eighth month. When they came home, there would be only five or six weeks left at most until they would become parents, which was only slightly terrifying.

 The night before their departure, Lan WangJi spent with his older brother as the two wouldn’t be spending much time together in the final months of Wei WuXian’s pregnancy. His care will soon become a full time job.

The brothers walk in silence until there is no one around, and then their conversations ensue. The topic never strays far from Wei WuXian and the upcoming baby. Even Lan XiChen seems excited about the baby and speaks often of his plans for the future education of the child. “WangJi, you are nervous about becoming a father?” His brother asks after a while, “You speak less and less of it with each passing week. Has your mind changed?”

Lan WangJi gives him a wary look. “I do want this child.”

“But you’ve become nervous?”

Looking down, he admits, “I am not sure how to be a father. A good one.”

“Some things you cannot know how to do in advance. There is nothing I can tell you now that you don’t already know.”

Lan WangJi nods, looking away for a moment. “That’s what I was afraid you would say.”

“But I will say this, WangJi. You will not be a copy of our father. And when the time comes for that child to come into this world, you will soon understand how to be a ‘good one’, as you say. I believe it is mostly instinct.”

Lan WangJi nods. “Thank you, Brother.”

“It is nothing. Just some advice from someone who is very excited to become an uncle.”

Lan WangJi cheers up some after that (an outsider wouldn’t know any different) and is able to talk about other things. Lan XiChen knows he needs to take his mind off of the impending birth every now and then, no matter how much he wants this child.

***

“So, where are you taking me that requires a cart, Lan Zhan? Usually you walk and I torment the donkey.” Wei WuXian tosses his pack into the cart and accepts Lan WangJi’s hand when climbing into the seat. They left the Sect early in the morning and it was difficult to keep quiet as to not wake anyone. It might have been the only morning Wei WuXian woke up at such an early hour.

“Lil’ Apple did not want to carry anything.”

“So what? Make it.” Wei WuXian glances up at him expectantly. 

Looking away, Lan WangJi admits, “I had to promise not to put you on any animal in case you are thrown.”

“I’m not sure I believe you.” He giggled. “Never mind, then. I almost like this arrangement better. I get to hold onto you while you drive us.”

“Mn.”

“But where are we going? I’m not picky, as long as it isn’t as boring as the Cloud Recesses.”

“We aren’t going to one place alone. We will stop tonight.”

“Where? Shall we sleep under the stars?”

Lan WangJi does not reply. 

“Is it a surprise?”

“...”

“Oh, how you spoil me! This is exciting!”

But it wasn’t as exciting after a few hours on a boring, flat road and not a single hint. Eventually, Wei WuXian moved to rest his head on Lan WangJi’s lap and fell asleep. Every now and then, Lan WangJi stole a glance at him, his round stomach…

I cannot believe I’m going to become a father soon …

That wasn’t entirely true. He could believe it, it was biologically possible for him to father children, after all, and they had been unintentionally trying vigorously for this to happen for months.

The part that is unbelievable is something that sends him into a fluster in the dead of night whenever he thinks of it. It’s that he is actually married to the love of his life, Wei WuXian, and even more unbelievably, Wei WuXian loves him in return . He never, not in a million years, could have imagined being loved in return by the man who owned his whole heart. And yet, here he is. Carrying his child.

As usual, his throat constricts, so he quickly looks away and steadies his breathing. Wei Ying will never let me live it down if he sees me crying.

Speak of the devil, he stirs. “Lan Zhan…?”

“Yes?”

“Are we there yet? I’m hungry.”

“No, but let’s stop to eat by this stream, here.”

A few minutes later, Wei WuXian had his feet dipped into the stream, head in his husband’s lap. Lan WangJi had a hand on his  stomach, feeling the baby kick around excitedly. “They get the most excited with your sect’s plain food, that’s what I was stuck eating during my sickness. Now, they don’t care at all for what I like. It must be your child.”

“I have no doubt of my paternity.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you could.” He smiles up at his husband. “I can just feel their energy, it’s yours, you know? Mine too, obviously, but more of yours.”

“I can feel it, too. They are strong.”

“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”

“I do not know.”

“Do you love them?”

“Very much.” Lan WangJi stoops to kiss his forehead.

“How soon after the birth do you think I can go back to work?”

Lan WangJi looks surprised. “Do you plan on doing so?”

“Maybe. I can put them in a sling on my back. And why should I stop working if you don’t? It wouldn’t be fair.”

“In any case, we cannot both work, someone must care for the child.”

“I could do both, I bet. And next year, when surely you’ll impregnate me again, you can carry this baby on your back and I’ll carry the other, and— why are you shaking your head?”

“I don’t want my children in any harm.”

“You’re no fun.” Sighing, Wei WuXian bites into another apple and says, “God, I’m getting so fat. Look at me!”

“Still pretty.”

“Mn… I don’t see it anymore.”

.

That night, they stop at a small inn. Wei WuXian claims his ankles are too swollen to walk comfortably, so he is carried inside with no struggle on Lan WangJi’s part. He is placed on the bed and given a gentle kiss. Lan WangJi removes his boots for him and starts to rub his feet. 

“Can I tell you something, Lan Zhan?”
“Mn. Anything.”

“I’m a bit afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Once the baby is born, we will be more confined to the Sect.”
“We can travel as often as we want..”
“Yeah, but when they’re a bit older, and their education begins… you know, people in your Sect hate me, and now—”

Lan WangJi looks up at him sadly. “Do you want to live someplace else?”

“No, I… I love our home. It’s beautiful, really, I just… I know I’m such a burden on everyone. I make them so annoyed… just by being myself! Can I help it if I wasn’t raised here? And some of the rules are ridiculous.”

“I know.”

“And I forget to follow them, and sometimes I just don’t want to.”

“Everyone breaks the rules, accidental or not. It happens.”

“I don’t want our child to be raised so strictly. I want them to have fun and enjoy their childhood and learn, too. But I don’t think that follows your rules.”

“They will not have to grow up in the same way that I did.”

Wei WuXian squeezes his arm. “Not that your life was a bad one. I just feel like if this child is anything like me…”
“They will break rules. And we will be patient and help them learn.”

“They will never be subjected to the same rules at home, Lan Zhan, I couldn’t do it. I agree children need strictness to some extent but not… not that much.”
“I agree with you.”

“Even though that might mean you are breaking the rules?”

Lan WangJi looks at him for a long moment, but cannot think of anything to say. 

***

The following morning, (early afternoon) the two walk through a market and look through the various stalls. As it is now the new year, everything is more festive and some of the things for sale are more impressive. “Look at this jade ring, Lan Zhan! You should wear it.”

“Should I?”

“Yes, unless that breaks a rule. Here, let’s both try one.”

“Okay.” The two stand in front of the jade selections and each choose one. 

“This one makes me seem like royalty, aren’t they always wearing rings like this?” 

“Yes…”

Wei WuXian smiles, admiring the gem on his hand. “Though I won’t fit it for much longer..”

“Do you want it?”

“If you get one too!”

After a pause, he asks, “which one shall I get?”

“Hmm… this one. It’s like mine, but smaller. And… and you can wear it like a pendant. I’ll have to do that too, my fingers are already swelling.”

“If you want to simply buy a pendant…”

“Why not both?” Wei WuXian smiles widely.

Of course he will be spoiled on their little vacation, he already knew that. With the new pendant and ring just barely fitting (it’ll fit after the baby, he continuously reminds himself) he hugs Lan WangJi’s arm as they walk to a nearby restaurant to stop and eat.

“Where else are we going on this vacation, Lan Zhan?” Wei WuXian can no longer sit in the proper position and instead lounges lazily across from Lan WangJi with no corrections offered.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Someplace beautiful. I don’t mind the cities, of course. It’s just boring ‘cause I can’t do anything fun like this.”

Hearing that, Lan WangJi is a little dismayed, since the whole reason he took Wei WuXian from the Sect was for Wei WuXian to enjoy himself. “I will take you wherever you want to go.”

“Hmm… anywhere? Even… Lotus Pier? The Yunmeng Jiang Sect? I want to test Jiang Cheng’s words.”

“I am not sure that that is best.”

“You said wherever I wanted to go, Lan Zhan.” Wei WuXian grins at him. “Come on, it’ll be fun to torment him! Let’s fool around in this city for a couple more days, then we should go. And then you can choose the next place, I won’t complain.”   

***

A few nights later, Lan WangJi wakes to Wei WuXian in a full conversation with someone at the window, voice light and cheerful in a way it hasn’t been in a very long time. Still, who would he be talking to at such a time?

It doesn’t take long to find out.

“Lan Zhan’s asleep still. I’ll come down so I can talk to you properly without waking him Wen Ning. Unless you want to come up here? Didn’t think so. Wait just a minute!”

Lan WangJi doesn’t disturb him and listens to Wei WuXian’s poor attempts to waddle-tip-toe across the room, his struggle to put on his boots (which he gives up on) and the closing of the door. 

.

“You couldn’t put your boots on?” Wen Ning asks with a smile. “How do you get through a day, Young Master?”

“I couldn’t do any of it without Lan Zhan. He’s so good to me. Day after day, he’s the one who cooks for me and dresses me, and of course, ties my boots, because I can’t reach anymore. I owe him everything.”

“I am glad he is with you through this. Few others would be as patient.” 

“I know. And I do feel guilty for making him endure all of it.” Wei WuXian admits, glancing back at the window of the room he is staying in.

“Anyone can see how much he loves you. I don’t think he minds.”

“Still, I want to do something for him, but I can’t think of anything. Besides, he’s the one with all the money. If I got him anything, he’d be the one paying for it. I feel like all I can do is get out of his hair for a little while and let him rest, that might be the best gift I could give him. What are you up to, anyway? Let me follow you around for a while, I can’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to put you in any danger, Young Master.”

Wei WuXian’s eyes light up. “Danger,  huh? Now I’m really interested. Show me what you’re up to? I won’t do anything, I just want to see.” 

.

Lan WangJi wakes up in a very pleasant way a little later than usual the following morning, but he can sense something isn’t quite right, despite how hard Wei WuXian is trying to act like there’s nothing wrong.

Lan WangJi gently nudges Wei WuXian off of him and cups his cheeks, watching him closely. “What, Lan Zhan?”

“You’ve been outside.”

“Haha, just for some air last night, why are you looking so serious?” Wei WuXian avoids his eyes every few seconds, and eventually rolls onto his side.

“You should bathe.”

“No, no, I don’t want to.” Wei WuXian replies before quickly adding, “Ah, not unless you join me anyway. And carry me there, you know how difficult it can be for me to climb over the side…”

And so, playing along, Lan WangJi fills the bath for him and undresses. He walks to Wei WuXian but stops just a few feet away. “Come here.”

Wei WuXian looks up at him in surprise. “Uh…. why? It’s not easy to get up…”

“Come here.” He repeats, extending his arms.

“Fine.” Too prideful to admit anything, Wei WuXian stands up, yelping at once as he lifts his left ankle— which is clearly more swollen than usual— in pain. He would’ve fallen over had it not been for Lan WangJi’s intervention. He picks up Wei WuXian and places him in the tub, ankle elevated, and then joins him. “How did this happen?”

“Would you believe me if I said I tripped while coming upstairs?” Wei WuXian eases himself into Lan WangJi’s hold, relieved that he isn’t angry.

“I know that you met with Wen Ning. Where did you go?”

“Nowhere important…”
“Wei Ying.”

His smile fades. “I didn’t do any night hunting. I just watched.”
“Wei Ying!”

“I promise I—”

“We have discussed this many times.”

“I- I know, and I didn’t actually—”

Lan WangJi climbed out of the tub, drying himself off in silence. After he dresses, he asks, “How did you injure it?”

“I’m unsure if I should tell you at this point.”

“What difference does it make now whether you lie or not? You are injured.”

“Alright, I’ll admit it. I was watching Wen Ning and some others and I laughed at them as I was walking and I lost my footing and kinda slipped and fell down a little hill? I landed on my backside after my ankle twisted and slid down the hill that way, I never hit my stomach…” When he doesn’t get a response, Wei WuXian sulks, adding, “I know it was stupid, but my desire for fun blocked out any logic at the moment.”

“You must not be so reckless.”

“I know, I won’t do it again. I guess I just…forgot who I was for a second.”

Lan WangJi was preparing to take Wei WuXian back home from the moment he saw his twisted ankle, but Wei WuXian begged and begged for him to reconsider. “I’ll stay off my foot, just don’t take me back yet. We can go stay someplace quiet and secluded so I can rest my foot, I won’t complain!”

And being Lan WangJi, who could never say no to that face, hesitantly agreed. Before going anyplace else, he hired a physician to properly tend to Wei WuXian’s ankle, wrapping it properly so it would be more comfortable for the ride. Then, to Wei WuXian’s delight, Wen Ning joined them on their journey towards their next destination. It kept Wei WuXian occupied and in a pleasant mood, which had been exactly Lan WangJi’s plan.

“How do you feel about raising the child exclusively in the GusuLan Sect?” Wen Ning asks. The two are seated in the back of the cart behind Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian’s ankle propped up on a few pillows.

“I know they will grow up disciplined and strong and will undoubtedly make me very proud. But…” 

“You aren’t as strict a person.”

“Not at all. I want my child to be happy. I want their childhood to be so much better than mine ever was, even though mine wasn't that bad. And I don’t want them to feel like they have a world of pressure on their shoulders as just a small child. They don’t deserve that.”

Both of them shift their attention to Lan WangJi in the front of the cart, Wen Ning added, “You two will be very good parents, no matter what. You love this child so much already, Young Master, I know they will grow up just fine. They will have plenty of people to guide them, besides. Especially SiZhui, he speaks often of it.”

“Does he now? Oh, I just thought of it— Lan Zhan, we must stop somewhere and start buying things for them! Clothes and hats and mittens and blankets just to name a few.”

“We have time..”

“What’s the fun in waiting? We can wait on the furniture for them, sure, but let’s bring some things home with us. Oh, imagine— before the first blossoms of spring we’ll be carrying around a little bundle… our own little son or daughter! Oh, Wen Ning, by the way, I’m pretty sure I’m having a son.”

“How can you tell?”

“I had a dream about it just the other night. Lan Zhan doesn’t believe that this dream means anything, but I do. I was standing in a field, and there was a little cabin the distance with smoke coming from the chimney. The field was filled with beautiful, sweet smelling flowers, and toddling across that field was a chubby little child wearing the Lan Sect robes, calling for me— a little boy with Lan Zhan’s eyes and temperament…”

“And that makes you believe you’re having a son.”

“Yes, it was too vivid to be anything but real.”

“Indeed. I thought you might like to have a daughter.”

“And we will! Right, Lan Zhan?”

“As you wish.” Lan WangJi replies.

.

“Your birthday is tomorrow, Lan Zhan.” Wei WuXian traces a pattern across the Wen branding on Lan WangJi’s chest that night. They are sleeping in an abandoned cabin, miles from any civilization. It’s the quietest quiet Wei WuXian has experienced in his life. A fire keeps them warm in their makeshift bed on the floor, but Lan WangJi keeps him warmer. “I should have thought ahead. How selfish of me to make us travel to where I want to go on your birthday.”

“I am happiest when you are.”

Wei WuXian hugs him tighter, leaving a kiss at his collar. “Next time you have a birthday, we’ll have a baby with us. Our lives are about to change forever. Aren’t you scared?”

“No.”

He smiles. “Neither am I. I like adventures.” Settling in, he pulls the blanket to cover them both and sighs, “We’ll have to decide on where we’re going to put their room, though. What do you think?”

“With us.”

“You’ll hold that baby more than you hold me.”

“I can hold you both.”

“Not if I hold them first! You can’t hog all the time, you know.”

He kisses Wei WuXian’s forehead, “It’s my turn.”

Chapter Text

Eighth Month

While these months have been filled with a lot of worry and anticipation, there haven’t been many tears other than ones of joy. In general, Wei WuXian is a high-spirited person and doesn’t often stay in a bad mood for very long. That isn’t to say he doesn’t have a lot to complain about; he lives in a sect with rules against him, he can’t touch his toes, he has to get up to pee every few minutes--- the point is, he doesn’t let it keep him down. This all starts to dissipate in the eighth month as his wits and patience finally wear thin. 

First of all, it is very difficult to get up from a lying position with such a size. Because of this, Lan WangJi must always be around when he is ready to get up for the day, which fortunately happens a lot earlier than it once did. And as he is still recovering from his ankle injury, he can’t go very far unsupported, so if he wants to leave the courtyard, Lan WangJi or Lan SiZhui must accompany him. This isn’t usually a problem, as someone is always around to take care of him. But one day… he woke up to find himself alone. 

Completely. He had no indication as to what time it was, but Lan WangJi always, always tried to wake him in the mornings, and he had no such recollection.

He wasn’t entirely sure as to why that upset him as much as it did, but it did nonetheless, and his mind started to get the better of him. He reminded himself of how much of a burden he’d been on Lan WangJi these past few weeks, especially because of his injured foot. So of course he’d want time away, he needs a break. Even if he’d woken Wei WuXian that morning, it would be a burden on him. That’s just one more job to do, another obligation, another chore.

He started to tear up. Damn these unwanted emotional reactions! Yesterday he was nearly in tears over the sight of Lan WangJi asleep with a hand on Wei WuXian’s stomach, then at dinner when Lan SiZhui talked about being the top of his class this year… he hated crying like this!

But what could he do about it? No one is around to judge him for crying and his problem isn’t going away. He would stay a burden for at least another few weeks-- and then some more, as it was doubtful he’d be out of bed much for up to a month after their baby’s birth.

Wiping the corners of his eyes, he thought of how exhausted his dear Lan Zhan must be. Not only did he have his tiring devotion to his sect, and duties that started before the sun, but also his even more difficult job: the full time care of Wei WuXian.

When Wei WuXian brought up having a child, no wonder Lan WangJi had his reservations. He knew what having a child entailed for him, Wei WuXian did not. And he was right.

The longer he stays in bed, the longer his mind starts to wander. What if he doesn’t come back? 

What if he’s staying away on purpose?

He knows those thoughts are ridiculous, but really, where else could Lan WangJi have gone?

After what must have been two hours, there is a knock at the front door. Nobody who lived there would knock. Since he couldn’t get out of bed, he called out to the visitor from the open window: “Come in, whoever you are!”

And after a moment, the front door opens. “Young Master Wei?”

Now what could Zewu-jun want with me? Surely, he’s looking for Lan Zhan. Oh no, has something happened to Lan Zhan? Why would he abandon me and his duties at the same time?

“If you’re looking for Lan Zhan, he’s not here.” Wei WuXian calls. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“All day? Have you been able to get up, then?”

“Not at all.”

“I’m going to come in.”

“Be my guest!”

Wei WuXian tied his hair back behind him- not as high as usual, but just to keep it out of his face, and gives his brother-in-law an awkward wave. “See? He’s not here.”

“That is not why I… have you really been like this all day?”

This is undoubtedly the first time Zewu-jun has seen such a mess , Wei WuXian colors at the thought, “I usually sleep in. And on the rare occasion Lan Zhan’s not here, SiZhui helps me. I guess he’s disappeared, too?’

“No, Uncle has kept him busy today. May I help you, then?”

“ You ? No, no, it wouldn’t be right. Send a servant or something, a sect leader shouldn’t have to do such a chore.”

“But the servants do not know of your condition, do they?” Lan XiChen picks up a sock from the floor and tosses it into a basket. “I’m disappointed. WangJi has always been so tidy…” He adds quietly, so that Wei WuXian hardly hears.

“I think everyone’s starting to figure it out. I’ve been a recluse lately, you know.” With a stubborn blush on his cheeks, he accepts Lan XiChen’s hand in helping him sit up. He swings his legs over the side of the bed and stretches for a long moment. “Say, Zewu-jun, why did you deny meeting me in the forest back then? I know it happened, and so do you. Were you ashamed of it? I’d understand if you were. It would be breaking your own rules, after all.”

“No, it was nothing of the sort. I did not want my brother to worry… but admittedly, I lied to you both. I did not follow you from the sect. I was already in the forest. I often walk, slipping away unnoticed—which has become increasingly difficult. And when I am noticed, often someone tries to follow. So I do not tell anyone when I go, so I can be alone there. That is all.”

“In that case, I’m sorry for disturbing you back then. I can’t imagine you getting a moment of peace around here, even in seclusion.”

“It is uncommon, yes. You haven’t eaten today, let me send for something--”
“No, don’t trouble yourself on my behalf. Now that I’m up, I’ll wander to the kitchen and grab something on my own. Maybe I’ll find Lan Zhan for you.”

“I searched and asked around, but no one has seen him. I suppose he must have gone out for the day.”

“Without telling me…? It’s strange. Here, pass me my boots, please, and I’ll be fine from there.”

Lan XiChen smiles thinly, eyes narrowing as he informs him, “WangJi told me that you cannot put them on by yourself.”

“I’d never ask you to tie my boots for me! Never in a million years!”

“Then how will you go? There is snow on the ground.”

“I’ll… well… I guess I’ll have to stay here! Listen, Zewu-jun, I appreciate the offer, but you have to remember who I am! I’m… eons below you. Son of a servant! And you’re- you’re you , you know! Only a servant or spouse can really tie one’s boots without there being something wrong with it. You’re- you’re leader of the whole sect! I should be the one tying yours!”

“But at the same time, you are my brother through marriage. It is really nothing, Young Master Wei. I do not mind.”

“Fine! Fine. But I will try to put them on by myself first. See if I can… I hope that I can.”

Unsurprisingly, he can’t. So Lan XiChen kneels and slips on each boot for him, never complaining or making a big deal out of it. He ties them incredibly quickly; in under half a minute, they’re both done. “I’ll accompany you into the sect while I continue my search. Please eat something, Young Master Wei. You must upkeep your strength.”

“Fine, fine, I will. Everyone keeps pestering me about how thin I am! I’m not that thin, and I have a giant stomach. I eat three times a day, sometimes more.”

“But you are not eating for one person, you know.”

“I’m just not that hungry anymore. There’s really nothing I can do about it. I can’t force myself to eat more if I don’t want any, and maybe it’s because my taste buds still don’t really want the Gusu Lan Sect’s food, even if this baby does.”

“Maybe so.”

And so the two walk into the sect; Wei WuXian towards the kitchen and Lan XiChen keeping his distance for a while. “Have you thought about names, Young Master Wei?”
“Endlessly. I have already decided on the name if it is a girl, but I know it won’t be, and that’s what makes it so difficult.”

They part ways at the kitchen, and Wei WuXian waddles inside in search of something to eat. He starts with an apple and then moves over to start cooking something in a pan— will it be edible? Anything’s edible when he’s this hungry. 

It goes well for about two minutes until he starts pouring rice. He drops the entire bag, but luckily only a little bit spills out. Why hasn’t Lan Zhan come back yet? He wonders once more as he struggles to bend. As expected, he cannot reach the bag no matter how hard he tries. Gripping onto the counter, he gradually lowers his entire body. Sure, he may not be able to get back up, but this bag can’t stay on the floor. I miss his cooking already and it’s only been a day. He always knows just what I want to eat. Finally, he’s crouched on the floor, huffing and puffing at the exertion. He carefully lifts the bag over his head and onto the counter. It is then that he smells something burning, and he struggles to stand. In doing so, he knocks over the bag of rice again, and this time, it spills everywhere— on him, the floor, across the room, the counter— and all he can do is cry. And crying like this isn’t him but he’s had a difficult day, a difficult few months… 

The air smells like smoke now and knowing he can’t fix whatever’s burnt, the tears turn into quiet sobs. For some reason, his longing for his husband outweighs any of the frustrations and mistakes. He just really misses his Lan Zhan, even though they were together just hours ago.

Someone clearly smelled the smoke and soon water is poured over the pan. Then, Lan SiZhui is knelt beside him. “Are you alright, Senior Wei?”

“Where have you been??” He wails. “Y-You were supposed to help me today, SiZhui! Now look at me! Why can’t I do anything for myself?!”

“I’m really sorry, but I couldn’t slip away even for a second! Let me help you back to the house, and then—”

“No, I don’t want to go back! I’ve been inside for days!”

“Are you sure? I can have someone cook—”

“I just want Lan Zhan! That’s all! I don’t care about anything else.”

There are footsteps approaching the kitchen, but neither pay them any mind. All Wei WuXian knows is moments later he is enveloped in a familiar hold and suddenly he knows everything will be alright. He clings tightly onto Lan WangJi and only cries harder. Has he reason to cry? Does that matter anymore? Lan WangJi holds him tighter and strokes his back soothingly. He presses kisses on his forehead and cheeks. 

“W-Where were you all day? I was worried!”

“I should not have left for so long. Forgive me…”
“Yes, of course. But- but where—”

He is peppered with kisses— his cheeks again, his nose, his lips— “It was a surprise.”

Wei WuXian opens an eye. “Yeah? Are you gonna show me today?”

“Yes…”

“Good. But listen Lan Zhan, I don’t want to go home just yet. I think… I think it’s time to tell everybody. Otherwise I won’t see the light of day for several more months and I can’t stand it anymore.”

“Do you want me to—“

“Let’s just gather the juniors first, we can tell them together. You deal with your elders.”

“Let me cook for you first, then.”

.

On a full stomach, the two announce the news to the juniors, many of whom suspected something was aloof all along. For the first time, they are met with nothing but fascination and delight, which does Wei WuXian’s heart good. They all promise to help with the baby in whatever way they can and to take care of Wei WuXian, too. 

“So that’s why SiZhui has been acting so weird!” Lan JingYi exclaims. “I just knew he was hiding something.”

“I wasn’t allowed to tell! And I was not being weird, JingYi.”

“Yes you were!”

One glance from their Hanguang-jun silences them both, and Wei WuXian continues, “Anyway, sorry we didn’t tell you all sooner. I was reluctant, especially because of a certain person’s reaction…” They all know who he is referring to, even without naming him. “So I just had an idea. Look, Lan QiRen hates me so much he can’t even look at me. He forbids anyone to talk to me. So what if I forbid him from seeing my kid? I’ll let everyone else, of course, everyone in the whole sect, the whole world, even. Just not him.”

“That’s… that’s… mean!”

“It’s brilliant.” Lan SiZhui corrects his friend. “It’s not like he can force you to show him the baby, right Senior Wei?”
“Right. It’ll be the first time I can hold something over him. I have to do it. What do you say, Hanguang-jun?”

He merely shrugs.

“You agree with me, don’t you? Say yes.”

“If you say so.”

.

“Can I open my eyes yet? We’ve been walking forever!” After the announcement, it was finally time for Wei WuXian to receive his surprise. But if they have to walk much farther, Wei WuXian is going to give up on it completely and go back to bed, his ankles hurt too much for this.

“If you peek, I will not show you.”

Wei WuXian smiles. “How did you know I was peeking?"

“You only ask after you have peeked, so you won’t feel guilty.”

“Hahaha, you know me so well!”

“...You can look now.”

Wei WuXian moves his hands and laughs in delight. “You didn’t, you didn’t! Haha, I should’ve known you were up to something!” Lil’ Apple had been pulling a cart which is currently filled with clothes, furniture and other things for the baby. Lan WangJi picked everything and bought it all on his own! "Shame on you for not telling me, Lan Zhan!" He playfully nudges him before hugging him tightly. "You knew I would choose the most ridiculous things, that's why you went alone? You're so smart."

Lan SiZhui and Lan JingYi help carry the furniture and other things into the cottage while Wei WuXian watches, eager to unpack everything. There is a third bedroom in the cottage, but it’s still in disarray and currently is used as more of a storage than anything else, so the cradle goes into their bedroom for now (which is only slightly messy, to Lan WangJi’s dismay).

A large oak chest is put in next, for holding all the baby’s clothes and things. 

Wei WuXian sits on the bed with the first crate of clothing, grinning. “Oh, they’re gonna look so cute in this! You have such good taste, Lan Zhan.” He holds the outfit up to his chest; its light colors a stark contrast to his. “They’re gonna be so tiny …”

Lan WangJi smiles, a bit wider than the juniors had previously seen before. It’s undoubtedly certain that their Hanguang-jun is the happiest he’s ever been.

.

It doesn’t take long for the good news to spread around the sect, and soon Wei WuXian has many visitors. Some are genuinely interested in the soon-to-be-born heir, others just want to have the rumors confirmed. Wei WuXian doesn’t let as many people around when Lan WangJi isn’t there, mostly because he doesn’t want to lose his temper and not have someone to check him.

Some days, he accompanies Lan WangJi to the classes he teaches and sits among the Juniors like a dutiful student, but there is nothing Lan WangJi teaches that he doesn’t already know (though he plays dumb so the Juniors won’t try to cheat off him). It keeps him occupied, and it’s a lot better than laying around the house all day. 

.

As the months progress, his dreams become more and more vivid. Most of them are pleasant, but every now and then they are not. Still, he’s the YiLing Patriarch, and he’s not scared of many things except for dogs and perhaps being alone again.

But one night, he has a dream that nearly scares him out of his skin, simply for the fact that it is something that Wei WuXian feels could actually happen.

He is with his child— his son, he’s sure— and has just finished washing him in the bathtub. It’s a cold winter’s day, wind howling outside the window. “Where’s Father?” The child asks, peering behind Wei WuXian. He has Lan WangJi's eyes, and his dark hair just touches his shoulders. His skin is a bit tanner than those of the Lan Sect's typically are.

“I don’t know… probably just got distracted on his way back. I’m sure he’ll return before the sun goes down.”

“You should find him.”

“Maybe later, my little rabbit. Here, climb out of the tub, you’re finished.”

“No, find him first. I want Father to brush my hair, you pull too hard.”

Wei WuXian laughs. “Picky, picky! Fine, I’ll peek outside and see if he’s coming back. You stay right there, yeah?”
“Yeah.”

He kisses the top of his son’s head and walks out the front door, met with the icy cold wind and stoic nothingness. Looking ahead where the Sect should be, he sees nothing, as if it was never there. There isn’t a trace of life around him. “Lan Zhan!” He calls frantically, again and again, but there’s no response. 

He hurries back into the cottage’s kitchen where his son had been bathing. But he’s gone, too.

“Hey! Where are you? Where did you go?” He is met with dead silence. “Now is not the time for games!” Shaking like a leaf, he searches through the whole cottage, but finds himself completely alone. So he runs out of the house, back towards the Sect, or where it should be, at least. He is met with a tall, glass fence, but he cannot see anything on the other side. “Let me in, let me in!”

“Who is there…?” Comes a voice from the other side.

“Wei WuXian, of course! SiZhui, is that you? Let me in, something strange is happening!”

“Wei WuXian…?” He repeats slowly. “I do not know of a Wei WuXian.”

“What are you talking about? You live with me!”

“I do not!”

“Who are you talking to, SiZhui-er?” Another person asked.
“Someone who claims to be a Wei WuXian came shouting at the wall!”

“Wei WuXian…?”

“Wei Ying!" Wei WuXian tries his birth name, shouting it again and again, "I am Wei Ying! Please, Lan Zhan- or Lan WangJi— and I have been married for—”
“Lan WangJi? Lan WangJi does not know of such a person!” Lan SiZhui shouts back at him.

“Yes he does!” Wei WuXian stomps his foot. “He’s my husband! Now stop messing around, it’s dark and cold out here and I can’t find my son!”

“You should go get Hanguang-jun,” Lan SiZhui says to the other. “Surely he will know whether or not this man lies.”

And so, shortly after, Lan WangJi appears at the gate, his white robes fluttering in the wind. “Lan Zhan!” Wei WuXian runs towards his husband, jumping onto him into a hug. But to his surprise, he is lifted and thrown off. “Do not touch me!”

“Lan Zhan! What are you talking about?” Wei WuXian is slow to stand. “Lan Zhan, I had to find you, it’s urgent. Our son, he’s—”
“ Our ? Son?”

“Yes, our son! I can’t find him anywhere, and so I thought—”

“I do not have a son with you, and I never would.”
“What?? Stop messing around!”

“I told you to stay away from this place. I told you I never wanted to see you again.”

“Lan Zhan!” He almost wails, stumbling to his feet. He grips onto Lan WangJi’s shoulders. “Don’t say that! We’re married! We’re married , Lan Zhan, you say that you love me all the time, so why are you lying? Why are you pretending you do not know me Wei Ying?"

“Why would I ever marry the only mistake I ever made? The stain on what could have been a perfect life! I told you to go away, Wei Ying... it's all your fault! You ruined everything for me and so many others!”

Wei WuXian lets go of him, eyes turning bitter. “You lie.”

“And if I had a son with you, how could I ever want such a burden, such a disgrace to the Lan Sect?”

“You lie! You promised you would always love me! You would never say something like this!"

“I do not love you!!” Lan WangJi shoves him backwards—hard— "Who could ever love such a monster?"

“Wei Ying…” He wakes to a hand stroking his cheek, and he knows then that it was just a dream, but he’s had the same or similar one frequently in the recent weeks, and he’s exhausted by it. He clings onto Lan WangJi a little tighter, and Lan WangJi strokes his back. “Dreams often reflect desires or fears,” Lan WangJi says, “but not always reality.”

“I-if I’ve ever made you angry, made you want to leave me, then I’m sorry— I’m so sorry—“

“No, Wei Ying.” Lan WangJi tips his chin up so they are eye to eye. “It isn’t so.”

Wei WuXian looks at him for a long moment, finding nothing but sincerity. “I keep dreaming it… if it’s not going to happen, then why…”

“You are afraid of what’s to come once our child is born. You have likely been thinking about my mother, what she endured… that will not happen to you. I would never allow it, no matter what anyone else thinks.”

And his mother was far less free spirited than I am… “I was thinking about her, and my own, and all the bad things that might happen to me...”

“I would never—“ he plants a kiss on Wei WuXian’s forehead— “ ever —“ his nose— “leave you behind.” his lips, three times. Wei WuXian wraps his arms around his neck and kisses him deeply, and then gazes up at him while Lan WangJi continues. “You do not know how many years that I longed to have you in my arms, Wei Ying. I cannot begin to fathom a life without you anymore.”

He snuggles into Lan WangJi’s hold. “Good to know. I feel a little better now…”

“Good. Get some rest?”

“I’ll try.” He closes his eyes. “I just wish that stupid rule was gone.”

“... Me too.” 

***

Ninth Month

“Lan Zhan.”

“Yes, Wei Ying.”

“I’m still sore.”

“It is very late, and I massaged you just a short while ago.”

“This is your fault and your child! How can I sleep when I’m so sore?”

Stifling a sigh, Lan Zhan rolls into a sitting position and pulls Wei WuXian into his lap, both sitting. He begins to massage down his back, with Wei WuXian’s head tilted. He is clearly exhausted, and yet Lan WangJi is sure he hasn’t slept in at least a day and a half.

“I have no problem with carrying this child,” he says slowly, “but I think I’m ready for it to come out now.”

“Me too.”

“Do you hope for a boy or a girl?”

“I shall be happy with either.”

“Me too, but come on, Lan Zhan, what do you think it is?”

He pauses. “All the children say it is a girl, but I…”

“You don’t agree?”

“...”

“Come on, I’m tired and sore and I want to hear something that will cheer me up!”

“I think it is a boy, as you have said.”

“Wouldn’t that be just the cutest? Lan Zhan and his Young Master Lan! I think even your uncle would be pleased.”

“As do I. Feeling any better?”
“A little. Keep doing that, I think I’ll fall asleep right here…”

Sure enough, Wei WuXian falls asleep against him. Lan WangJi carefully lays him onto his side and leaves the room to wash up a bit before bed. Almost two weeks late . His thoughts remind him as he examines his exhausted face in the water’s reflection. How much longer can it possibly be? Impatience certainly isn’t a virtue, but he’s tired of his husband being in so much pain and discomfort. Back in their bedroom, he climbs into bed, and as much as he doesn’t want to, he gives Wei WuXian a bit of space. One reason being that Wei WuXian cannot lay how he wants to (using Lan WangJi as a pillow doesn’t work  with such a round stomach) and two, if Wei WuXian is comfortable in his current position, it would be cruel to try and move him or disturb him.

Exhaustion kicks in and he is finally able to close his eyes. He manages a whole three hours of blissful sleep before he is woken again. 

“Wei Ying…?”
Wei WuXian hasn’t made a sound, but his whole body is tense and sweat pours down his face. He’s somehow still asleep. Relieved that he hasn’t missed anything important, he quickly reaches to the table at their bedside and dips a cloth in a bowl of water. After squeezing out the excess water, he places it on Wei WuXian’s forehead and closes his eyes once again. This wouldn’t be the first time Wei WuXian has woken him like this.

No more than a few minutes later does Wei WuXian wake him again, but this time, he is awake too. “Lan Zhan…” He almost whimpers, which is enough to get him up with a start. “Wh-why does it hurt so much…?”

“Is it—”
“No, it just… agh, I’m so uncomfortable . I wish they’d just hurry up and come out.”

“Do you want to walk?”

“Might as well. Come with me?”

Lan WangJi would usually help Wei WuXian put his shoes on, but his ankles are too swollen for his boots and they never go too far anyway. 

Wei WuXian clings onto Lan WangJi’s arm for support. They walk slowly, and only someone like Lan WangJi could be patient enough for something like this. “It can’t be much longer, huh Lan Zhan?”

“You are doing so well, Wei Ying.”

“I’m impatient in so many ways, how am I— ah-” He hisses in pain, clutching his husband’s arm tightly. “Owww… that one hurt.”

Lan WangJi holds onto him, hoping the pain would soon subside, and it did for only a moment, then— another, seizing Wei WuXian in pain. “Let’s go back, Lan Zhan.” He says between gritted teeth. They hadn't even made it out of the courtyard yet. Usually, they can make it a quarter mile away, at the least, before Wei WuXian needs to go back due to his discomfort.

“I’ll carry you.” Just as Lan WangJi bends to lift Wei WuXian, he is startled by Wei WuXian's sudden exclamation: "Don't touch me! Agh..." He presses a hand against the courtyard's wall, teeth gritted. He suddenly looks down and sucks in a few breaths. "Oh no. Oh no..."

"What is it??" He is tempted to place a hand on Wei WuXian, but remembering how he was just warned to keep off, he hesitates.

"I-I need to go back inside. Now..." He rests his head against the wall, his breaths becoming shaky.

"Then let me lift you."

"Yeah, please lift me..." He mumbles, and a second later is hefted into Lan WangJi's arms. Lan WangJi can feel that Wei WuXian's trousers are soaked and knows that perhaps tonight will not be like the other nights before... He finds himself walking quicker than earlier once Wei WuXian goes limp in his arms (from fear and a bit of pain, he will later find out) and cannot help but to break the rules and shout for Lan SiZhui.

***

Lan SiZhui can keep track of the time based solely on his Hanguang-jun’s pacing, something he has never done before. If not for the current situation, it might almost be amusing. One pace to the opposite end of the hall takes twenty seconds… then he stops in front of the door for at least ten to listen, and then he paces back… Lan SiZhui muses to himself, eyelids drooping from both the early hour and the exhaustion of watching so much pacing. He knows he should mind his own business, but even Lan XiChen has been watching the pacing this whole time, shaking his head at his brother’s actions every three or four paces. 

“Can I say something?” Lan SiZhui suddenly breaks the silence, causing both brothers to pause and look at him. “Why… why can’t Hanguang-jun be with Senior Wei?” 

Lan XiChen smiles at the boy and replies calmly, “The pacing would be even more exhausting to Young Master Wei than it is to us. WangJi,” he calls to his brother, “sit, you will not be able to go on like this. It may be hours until he is even close to having the child.”

Lan WangJi obeys and decides to sit beside his brother. He stays still only for a few seconds before he looks up upon hearing yet another noise from the bedroom. Lan XiChen places a hand on his brother’s arm. “He will be fine.”

For everyone’s sakes, Lan SiZhui and Lan XiChen hope that this child comes sooner rather than later. 

***

Wei WuXian does not have a vivid memory of the birth itself. He remembers the sharp pains and disorientation. He remembers wishing Lan WangJi was with him but also believing it was better this way as he didn't want Lan WangJi to see him being so vulnerably weak and exposed in such a way... he isn't sure why he suddenly felt so ashamed, but it soon passed and didn't matter much anyway.

The moment the child is born, his world changes. His body trembles as he listens to their first cries, and then his ears start to ring. He closes his eyes for a few moments, processing that his child is finally here, that the months of hoping and waiting and wishing are finally over—

"Young Master, are you alright?" Someone puts a hand on his shoulder, jolting him back into reality. When he opens his eyes, his hearing also returns, and he cries out at once, not out of pain, but of shock. There is a tiny baby being held up to him, crying loudly, taking in big breaths between each wail. His lungs are strong, at the very least.

It feels like he has just woken up in a brand new life, one in which there is no one but him and this little boy. He can’t even smile, he is just enamored with this child’s appearance. “Let me hold him—“ he thinks he says, but he’s unsure of if his mouth even moves. There are people moving around the room, someone changes the sheets beneath him, another pushes a liquid to his lips, but his attention is only on the baby.

Finally, he is gently placed against his chest— bundled up in a snowy white blanket and a hat on his head. He’s not crying anymore, and the two look at each other for a few seconds.

“Born just at sunrise—“ he hears someone say, and as he glances towards the window, he sees that they’re right, the sun is just starting to shine through the blossoming tree by the window. “Huh… that’s…” he looks down at his son, “no, nothing outside matters. You’re the most beautiful thing in the world!”

To his amazement (and to everyone's around them) the baby’s face lights up and he flashes a toothless smile— one that lasts a few seconds— and he’s only a few minutes old.

Wei WuXian’s heart melts, and it’s all he can handle not to burst into tears. “I think I know your name now.”

***

The child is born at seven o’clock in the morning. The moment the three waiting outside heard its first cries, Lan WangJi paled, looking to his brother for permission. Lan XiChen gave him a smile, clasping his hands. “Go on then, WangJi, but they might not let you in just yet.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Lan SiZhui laughed in amusement at seeing his Hanguang-jun run down the hallway, when rushing is against the rules. He indeed does have to wait a few minutes, 'til the crying on the other side of the door subsides, but those minutes only feel like seconds, and when he's led inside, it's like he's in a trance...

The room is quiet. Wei WuXian is still, breathing softly, much more relaxed than he’d been earlier. There is a small bundle in his arms.

The physician bows when she sees Lan WangJi and leaves them alone while she cleans up the mess of bloody towels and fluids and other things best left unsaid.

Lan WangJi kneels at the bedside, body trembling. “Wei Ying..." He presses kisses down the side of his face and neck, again and again...

“I'm fine...it wasn’t as bad as I thought.” Wei WuXian protests, eyes still closed. “But now I just want to sleep for a little bit. Let me sleep? We’re both going to sleep. You can visit later…”

But Lan WangJi only comes closer and kisses him gently. “Wei Ying, I..”

“I love you too.” 

He climbs onto the bed as carefully as he can and Wei WuXian rests his head against Lan WangJi’s shoulder. “I picked his name and it’s not Wei, unfortunately.”

Lan WangJi smiles, a quiet laugh escaping his lips. “No, I didn’t think so…”

.

An hour or so later, Wei WuXian is propped up and eating more than he has in weeks while Lan WangJi holds their child for the first time. Wei WuXian chats to him now and then, but he isn’t heard over the roaring in his ears.

He and his child are in a world of their own as amber eyes look up at his. He feels himself choking on tears but pays them no regard, he cannot look away from the tiny face in front of him. He is so perfect.

“Lan Zhan, did you hear what I said? Lan Zhan?”

He presses the child close to his shoulder and holds them there. He’s never been happier in his life, or luckier. 

This is all he’s ever wanted.

Glancing up from the heartfelt moment a few minutes later, Wei WuXian sees Lan SiZhui lingering by the door. “Come in, SiZhui-er. Meet your brother.”

“Brother?” He steps inside, smiling brightly at the infant. “He’s… I’m sorry, I will not say it.”

“I know, he looks like a scrunched up radish. But I love him and I think he’s possibly the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. Do you want to hold him?”

“Can I?”

“Of course! Sit by me… and Lan Zhan will show you how to hold him properly… there, that’s good… watch his head, okay?”

“Okay.” Lan SiZhui held him as instructed and soon enough, a tear dripped down onto the baby’s blanket. “I’m sorry, Senior Wei! You’re right, he’s just… s- so…”

“What’s wrong, SiZhui?”

“Did you mean it when you said t-that he’s my brother?”

“Yes, I did. We’ve raised you- Lan Zhan more than me, but still, it only makes sense. You’ll look out for him, yeah?”

“Yes!”

“Try to keep him out of trouble, but if you can’t, follow along so you can help him out of it. That’s about all I ask.” 

“You didn’t have to ask, Senior Wei, I would’ve done all that anyway.” Lan SiZhui continues holding him until the infant starts to grunt— and soon after— cry loudly. Noise is forbidden, but no one complains outside of the home. 

“He’s probably hungry now.” Wei WuXian gently takes the baby again, laughing when the baby starts to grab at him. “No, I’ve got nothing for you, little one. You’ll have to take this bottle instead. Yep, he is hungry, look at how fast he’s drinking! He has my appetite.” He lovingly gazes at the little thing, wiping milk from his chin every now and then. “Why do I love him so incredibly much already? He’s the most precious creature I’ve ever seen. I actually might cry, oh God, I can’t…”

***

Lan XiChen is the next visitor after the birth. As improper as it is for the other members of the sect to visit, he is direct family, the uncle of this child and the rules bend a bit under said circumstances. The juniors follow him up to the cottage and strain to hear a baby’s cry or anything interesting, but the lights are dim and the house is quiet.

He ignores the pleas of the juniors when he enters and closes the door softly behind him.

Lan SiZhui stands up when Lan XiChen enters the hallway. “Zewu-jun, I’m glad you’ve come back!”

“How is he?” He asks as he gently brushes past the youth.

“Both of them are doing really good! I’ll tell Hanguang-jun you’re here.”

“Thank you.”

.

The bundle of white is placed is its uncle’s arms, and Wei WuXian has never seen so many smiling Lan’s in one place. Lan WangJi, who hasn’t stopped smiling since he was assured that Wei WuXian would recover well and the baby was placed in his arms, has also never strayed from Wei WuXian’s side.

And Lan XiChen is just as overjoyed, Wei WuXian can see it in his eyes as much as his smile. “He looks a lot like WangJi as an infant.”

“You remember that?” Wei WuXian replies, watching the baby’s every move and looking for an excuse to take him back. He doesn’t like to share. 

“I remember he was chubby and had a red face after birth. I told my mother that he was ugly.”

“Hahaha, you were as honest as I am,” Wei WuXian leans over to stroke the infant’s cheek. “How’d you know he’s a boy? I hadn’t told you.”

“Lucky guess… I must say, Young Master Wei, he is perfect.”

“Oh, isn’t he?” Wei WuXian beams, and even Lan WangJi looks proud of his accomplishment. “You can look like an angry radish for all I care, little one, it doesn’t matter. Your father and I love you so extremely much.” He glances at Lan XiChen warily, “You know he’s gonna hold this child more than I get to. You should give him lots of stuff to do, keep him busy so I can have this child all to myself.”

Lan XiChen laughs softly, shaking his head at the very visible discontent on his brother’s face. “I’ll see what I can do.”

***

When Lan XiChen visits the next afternoon, he is glad to find Wei WuXian sitting up, without the assistance of anyone, his son in his arms. Of course, Lan WangJi is standing by should there be any trouble, but so far there isn’t.

“Have you come for your nephew? I knew you would.” He takes the bottle from the baby as it is empty and lifts him up, “Look, son, your favorite.”

The baby glances at his uncle, making a small noise in his throat. “I told you, Lan Zhan, he prefers everyone over me.”

“That isn’t so.” Lan WangJi insists. 

“It is so! He doesn’t even love me.”

“I think he usually wants whoever feeds him.” Lan XiChen replies. “By the way, have you decided on a name yet?”

He glances to Lan WangJi, who nods. “I want something simple. He can be given a fancier one later. We’ve narrowed it down to two names. Lan Zhan’s gonna decide within the next three days.”

“I see… but if you rely on WangJi, he may never tell you what the name is.”

“I noticed. He is stubborn! So I will tell you the names now, so you’ll at least have a clue. We both like—“

“Wei Ying, that’ll be enough.”

“Ru, But it’s kinda too short, yeah? And then there's the name that I chose, which is—“

“Wei Ying.”

“Fine, I won’t say it.” He winks at Lan XiChen. “But if you have any ideas, let us know.” He hugs the baby close to his chest and sighs contentedly. “He may not love me , but I love him . I wish I could have a hundred of him, he’s so perfect.” He kisses the boy’s forehead. 

Lan XiChen admires the expression of a proud father in Lan WangJi and agrees, “Yes, although I may be a bit biased, I believe he is the most handsome child I have ever seen.”

“I agree.” Lan WangJi says calmly, but his eyes are shining. 

***

On the tenth day, Lan WangJi carries his son out of the house for the first time. The boy is swaddled in a large, white blanket, mittens on his hands and a small hat on his head. He grumbles unhappily when met with the sun, and Lan WangJi presses him closer. Today, he will be introducing his son to many of the elders, save for Lan QiRen, who isn't permitted.

He meets his brother on the path heading towards the gathered elders. “How is Young Master Wei this morning?”

“Well. He wanted to go, but…”

“It was best for him to stay. He is not quite ready to be on his feet.”

“That is what I told him.” Lan WangJi looks at him. “I left him seated in a chair by the fire. SiZhui is with him.”

“Good.” 

They were soon swarmed by the Juniors, but one look from Lan XiChen made them back off, and patiently wait to see the child later, after he was presented to everyone else. Still, the Juniors strain their necks to get a look at the child who’d attracted so much attention over the past ten days. But Lan WangJi held the child too closely to catch so much as a sliver of his face. To be fair, it was rather cold for March, and he was probably just keeping him warm.

Because they knew it could be more than an hour before they could get another peek, they went to find Lan SiZhui to squeeze some information out of him. As expected, he was never far from the Cottage. This morning, he was outside lacing up his boots.

“SiZhui-er! Tell us about the baby!”

“Huh?”

“The baby! Is it a boy or girl? Come on, tell us!”

“If Hanguang-jun hasn’t said anything, I can’t!”

“Oh come on, that’s no fun!”

“Shhh, Senior Wei will hear.”

“Hear what?” Wei WuXian calls from a nearby open window, peering out at the Juniors. “Ha, you’re too late, boys, they’ve already taken the baby..”

“Yes, Senior Wei, we know. We came here to, that is, to…”
“To bully SiZhui into giving away the name? That’s not very Lan-esque of you.”

“Yes, Senior Wei!”

“You should’ve just come to me. They aren’t my rules, anyway. It is a boy, and his name is--”
“Senior Wei, aren’t we supposed to wait until after they get back to announce it?” Lan SiZhui interrupts, to everyone’s dismay.

“Oh, I guess you’re right. Fine, you will have to wait. Though I did tell you it’s a boy, if that helps at all.”
“It did!” One chirped. “How are you, Senior Wei?”

“Very ill and bored. Say, if you see Hanguang-jun on the way back, you will tell him he should bring me a jar of Emperor’s Smile, yeah?”

“Of course!”

“Now run along. There’s no fun to be had, not while I’m confined to this chair and my bed.”

.

After the Juniors leave for their daily lessons, Wei WuXian flops back into his bed and stares at the ceiling in absolute boredom. “What is taking them so long?” He asks no one in particular. Heaving a large sigh, he pulls the blanket over himself and lays on his side, staring at the door as if he could make it open, summoning his husband at once. But no one comes, not until after he’s already fallen asleep. He wakes again to Lan WangJi’s prodding for him to sit up, that he needs to eat.

And for once, he doesn’t complain. “You left me for too long, Lan Zhan, even SiZhui left…”

“Apologies. Our son is very popular among his elders.”

“What, really? Seriously?”

“Yes.” There is a trace of a smile on his face. “With the juniors, as well. It was a difficult task to get inside.”

“Where is he?”

“I have him in the other room. You will see him after you eat.”

“Hmmph.”

“You are very thin, Wei Ying. I am repeatedly told this by Brother.”

“I doubt he is very worried, Lan Zhan. Besides, he only comes here to see the baby, anyway.” 

Lan WangJi says nothing, only passing him the second plate. 

***

One Month Later

The baby is a month old and hungry all the time. He sleeps best against someone’s chest and hates being unswaddled. Lan QiRen is fighting a battle against his pride. He wants to see this child desperately, the one that everyone in the country has seen except him, it sounds like, but to do so means caving in and abiding by Wei WuXian’s request to have the rules against him removed. And he just can’t do it yet. 

What makes everything worse is that some visitors arrive during that time to meet the new baby, further insulting him. Why should Sect Leader Jiang get to visit?

“He’s a skinny little guy.” Jiang Cheng remarks as he holds the baby. “Only what, eight pounds or so? I’d think with how much you eat, he’d be double—”
“Fuck off, Jiang Cheng,” Wei WuXian says with a laugh, putting down what might be his third meal of the day, and it’s only noon. “He was small, but Sect Leader Lan says that so was Lan Zhan, and who knows what I was.” 

“Fair enough.” Jiang Cheng boops the boy’s nose. “You look exhausted as hell, by the way.”
“Thanks! I haven’t slept in three days.”

“Three days?! Why don’t you and him take turns with—”
“We do, but it’s no use anyway. Lan Zhan’s probably asleep in some obscure place now, otherwise he would’ve come.”

“It's not like he didnt ask for this…” Jiang Cheng returns his gaze at the baby. “Anyway, when you bring him to Lotus Pier next summer, he better be able to walk and run or it’ll be pointless for him to be there.”

Wei WuXian looks up in surprise, wide smile forming. “Yeah! Maybe he’ll already be faster than you.”

Jiang Cheng shakes his head at the waking infant. “You think you can do it? No, you’re too skinny. You’ll blow away in the wind.”

The baby smiles briefly at him, eyes drooping shut. Jiang Cheng’s heart melts and it’s hard not to show it.

“Huh, I think he likes you, Jiang Cheng! I really can’t imagine why…”

“Ha-ha, shut up. I’m sure it was just a coincidence. Or maybe he just filled his diaper. Is that what it is, young man? You can’t wait to torture Wei WuXian with that, and I support you.”
To no one’s surprise, the baby smiles again, infuriating Jiang Cheng. “It- It doesn’t mean anything, why are you looking at me like that?!”

“I wish it didn’t mean anything— look, he’s still smiling— he’s never even smiled that much before, look what you’ve done. It’s what I deserve though, no doubt.”

Jiang Cheng nods to himself and stands with the baby still in his arms. “Alright, I’m tired of seeing you with those dark bags under your eyes. You go to sleep. I’ll keep him for a couple of hours.”

“What?? There’s no way you have enough patience.” But Wei WuXian is already lying back, getting comfortable. 

“You’re not gonna stop me anyway. What happens if he gets hungry?”

“You give him his bottle, of course.” Wei WuXian shuts his eyes. “And there are diapers pretty much everywhere, I don't know where they are exactly. But you don’t have to watch him, it’s fine, you can do whatever, I honestly don’t care. Maybe give him to me. I'm wide awake..."

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “Just go to sleep already, you idiot, you don’t make any sense when you're this tired. I know how to take care of a baby."

Needless to say, Wei WuXian soon falls fast asleep, so Jiang Cheng walks as lightly as he can out of the bedroom, with what he decides is his nephew in his arms. "Good luck to you, Lan Xiào. With a father like him, you're gonna need it."

Chapter Text

On the outside, Wei WuXian’s recovery went remarkably well. But no one except for Lan WangJi knew of the awkward portion of the recovery, from weight fluctuation to postpartum emotions and bleeding and— worst of all...

It technically began some weeks before the birth. A slight swelling at the chest, which Wei WuXian immediately understood and rebuked. “I will not be doing this. Nope. Not a chance.”

And so he doubled up on his shirts and tried not to think about it. 

But it got worse after the birth to the point where it was painful. He knew why it was happening and the easiest way to get it to stop, but he wasn’t comfortable with the idea of nursing.

It may sound selfish, but no one bothered him about it, and in secret he did try it once and immediately stopped. It felt… unnatural. Weird. Xiào wasn’t happy about the quick separation, but he learned to prefer his bottle soon after that, and Wei WuXian never told anyone about what happened.

Eventually, the swelling went away, so he was able to feel a little better about his body.

The next issue was his hips. How wide they were! He knew Lan WangJi wouldn’t complain, but it made him feel more like a woman. On top of already being in someone else’s body, and now having this feminine portion (on top of his chest!) he felt terribly insecure. As it was still cold out, he decided to wear heavier layers until his weight went down, until he could really see what he was working with here. Lan WangJi loved him through it and never looked at him with any less love than he did when he was at his prime.

In May, Lan WangJi returns to teaching the Juniors and Wei WuXian spends a portion of his day completely alone with his son. Not that he minds, of course, he and Xiào get along quite well. On pleasant days, he takes his son outside into the garden while he tends to the sprouting plants and introduces him to passerbys. Xiào is at an age where the highlight of his day is lifting his head up while on his stomach and having a chance to look around at his surroundings. His favorite toy is a little red beanbag that he can’t really play with, but it is the only color he has really experienced, since almost everyone around him wears white. His eyes are just the shade of Lan WangJi’s, which warms Wei WuXian’s heart. Of course, after Lan WangJi comes home, he hardly puts Xiào down. He takes care of feeding and changing him and giving him a bath at the end of the evening, and puts him to bed. They are both crazy about this little baby, but Wei WuXian is the one who gets to spend more time with him at the moment. The night shift, though? He’s more than fine leaving that to his husband.

Alright, it doesn’t completely go to Lan WangJi, but he certainly doesn’t protest when he leaves to take care of the baby.

One day while they are out in the garden, a certain passerby has him cradling his son to his chest and quickly crouching behind the garden gate in hopes they haven’t been spotted. It was the first passerby he has ever wanted to avoid.

Unfortunately, they were spotted.

“Wei WuXian.” Lan QiRen calls, footsteps approaching the gate. Wei WuXian straightens up as if he were merely sitting with his son and not hiding from the mean old man.

“Ah…” He forces a tight-lipped smile, but still keeps Xiào close to his chest. Lan QiRen can’t even catch a glimpse at its face. “Lan Zhan isn’t here.”

“I know.” The old man stands just in front of the gate now, not speaking until Wei WuXian finally stands up. “I have come to check on the child.”

“The child is well. Thank you!” With that, Wei WuXian walks to the other side of the garden and lifts his leg over the fence.

“Where are you going?”

He pauses. “Did you need me for something?”

“Do you intend on hiding this child from me forever?”

“Yes, actually, that’s the plan. So long as the rules are up on those walls.” Wei WuXian keeps a hand pressed against his son’s head, blocking any view of his face.

“You are a fool if you think it is ever going to be removed. We do not remove rules.”

“So be it.”

This infuriates Lan QiRen. “You cannot just saunter into this sect and change things to how you like them! You are not one of us, you will never be one of us, so why should your words be the ruling??”

Wei WuXian didn’t back down. “Because he is my son and shouldn’t be taught to be ashamed of me!”

“Anything he is taught of you, you brought on yourself! You are just as thick-headed as you always were.”

“I wasn’t thick-headed, I was different, and you hated that ! Why is it so wrong for anyone to think differently from you?! Everyone here in this sect is so single-minded, it’s more like a prison than anything else!!! So what if I want to eat spices or walk quickly-- I was just a child back when we met and you immediately singled me out because of something I had no control over, something my mom did before I was even born. You made me feel like I was nothing! And you’re gonna try to do the same fucking thing to my son, make him feel like there’s something wrong with him for wanting to be a child and play , you will force shame into him, make him ashamed to be my son— and that will only happen over my dead body!”

Lan QiRen finally exploded. “You say all of this, but you are just as powerless as you were back then! This child is a Lan, he belongs to this Sect, and he will follow its rules. There is nothing you can do about it! But I warmly invite you, Wei WuXian, to leave! Get out of our hair once and for all! All you do is make our lives miserable and continue to ruin WangJi’s! He had a chance at being something great before you came along, but you have tainted him-- ruined him--”

“You don’t know anything about him! You think you know what he thinks, or what he wants, but you don’t!”

“And how could you even begin to understand him? You, who have no discipline, no morals, no respect-- what likeness of the mind could you possibly share with WangJi??”

“I married him! I sleep next to him every night, and wake with him each morning! Till now, my whole world revolved around him alone! He doesn’t have to say a word and I know what he’s thinking, so how do I not understand him? Just because he and I are different-- and believe me, Lan Zhan and I are like night and day-- doesn’t mean I can’t understand him or anyone else who is different. I wish this damn sect would get that through their thick skulls.”

“In any case, you don’t deserve someone like him! You deserve to be as you were! Dead and forgotten!!! No one who has done what you have deserves to have a second chance at this life. You have never done an honorable thing in your--”

“What is going on here?”

Lan XiChen heard the commotion-- Wei WuXian shouting was never a big deal, he did a lot of it, but hearing his uncle in such a state made him come to find out about the situation. He already knew everything that his uncle said was something he strongly believed in, but Lan XiChen never thought he’d actually say all those things to Wei WuXian, especially out in the open.

Wei WuXian looks between the two, holding his son even tighter as if to protect him. “You are right about one thing, Lan QiRen. I don’t belong here. But everything else you just said was complete bullshit. Is there a rule about spewing bullshit? If not, there should be.”
“Young Master Wei--” Lan XiChen starts to make a suggestion, but he’s immediately shut down.
“Leave me alone!” Wei WuXian snaps, turning to leave.

But of course, Lan QiRen had to add salt to the wound. “This is the last straw, Wei WuXian. You’ll be lucky if we let you stay another day!”

“I don’t even want to stay another day! I hate this place and everyone--”
“You must not speak so rashly, Young Master Wei. Do not--”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Wei WuXian, angered to his core, was already feeling dizzy and didn’t want to show it. “I’m just so-- so tired of the constant tormenting, of constantly being told that I don’t deserve what I’ve worked my ass off for… I deserve my son! Unless you pushed him out or fathered him, you cannot say otherwise! And I- I…” Seeing how suddenly pale Wei WuXian has become, Lan XiChen quickly takes his nephew (Wei WuXian lets him) and watches in surprise how Wei WuXian picks up a sickle from the ground and points it at Lan QiRen. “You know what? I don’t have to explain myself to you. I’m going to burst a fucking vein if you don’t leave.”

“Are you trying to threaten me, Wei WuXian?” Lan QiRen isn’t fazed at the sight of the makeshift weapon and even comes a step closer. “Do you know what would happen to you if that is the case??”

“Whippings, right? How fucked up do you have to be to whip your own nephew thirty three times and leave him bedridden, by the way? What kind of sick, twisted —”

“Young Master Wei…” Lan XiChen gently grabs his arm with a shake of his head. “Now is not the time to bring up such unpleasant memories.”

“Do you think I wanted to harm him? It’s only because of you that he was punished! If you want to blame anyone, blame yourself, Wei WuXian!” With one hand, he yanks the sickle out of Wei WuXian’s grasp, sending him to the ground by the force, “I would have much rather had you take tenfold of that punishment!”

“Uncle—” Before he can say anymore, Wei WuXian grabs Lan QiRen by the ankle and trips him up, making him fall onto his backside.

This is when Lan SiZhui happens to return, and nobody really knows what exactly happened next. Some say after Wei WuXian tripped Lan QiRen, he lunged at him and the older man had no choice but to defend himself. Others say that Lan QiRen was so angry that he grabbed Wei WuXian by the collar and tried to shake the life out of him.

Either is plausible, for in either case, it made sense that Lan SiZhui frantically tried to pull Wei WuXian away from his elder, shielding him with half of his body. After Lan XiChen had put down his nephew in a place, he pulled his uncle in the opposite direction, safely separating the two.

“Let me help you inside, Senior Wei!”

“No, no, I can do it myself. Just… just don't tell Lan Zhan, okay?”

***

Lan WangJi had left just after dinner and did not return to the cottage until the sun had already set. Their son had just been bathed and swaddled and looked ready to fall asleep in Lan SiZhui’s arms while Wei WuXian dumped the bath water. “There you are!” He smiles-- he is much calmer than he was earlier in the day-- “I was wondering what was keeping you for so long, you always give him his baths.” 

“I did not mean to be gone so long.” Saying nothing more, he envelopes Wei WuXian in a tight embrace, which is immediately returned.

After Lan SiZhui goes off to bed, neither of the two move towards their bedroom. It is as if both are waiting for the other to bring up the elephant in the room: the near-fight between in-laws outside the cottage today. Wei WuXian holds Xiào in his arms by the fireplace, watching his soft breaths in sleep. Lan WangJi stares off at nothing in particular, trying to summon up the courage to say what he needs to. Sometimes, that can be really hard to do.

Growing impatient despite not knowing exactly what he is waiting for, Wei WuXian kisses his baby’s forehead and says that they are going to bed now. Just as he has his back turned, Lan WangJi says as calmly as possible, “There was a letter… I did not mean to read it, I thought it was for me.”

He pauses, not showing a trace of tenseness. “From who?”

“Jiang Cheng.”

“Haha, now what should he want? You should’ve known by the sender’s name that it wasn’t for you.”
“I am sorry I opened your letter.”

“Oh, never mind that, I go through your stuff all the time. What’s mine is yours. Come into the bedroom and tell me what it said, I’m too tired to read right now.”

Lan WangJi follows slowly, mentally rehearsing on how he will break this surprising news. This part is even harder for him to say than his previous confession. “He… wants you and the baby to visit.”

“What??”

“He says you will rest better there, and be ‘less bored’, as you complained. Additionally, his nephew wishes to see you, but will not come here.”

“That’s… that’s ridiculous. No, of course I wouldn’t go. I couldn’t possibly leave for so long with Xiào all by myself.” He says this in almost an exaggerated way, but Lan WangJi knows him well. “If you wish to go, then go. I will come with you.”

Wei WuXian gently lays Xiào in the center of the bed. He starts to undress, looking very torn on the situation. “You and Jiang Cheng do not get along.”

“Neither do you and my uncle, but you have chosen to live here all this time regardless. I can do the same for you.”

“You’d really do that for me?” Biting his lip, Wei WuXian takes the letter from him and skims over it briefly. “He said we could stay as long as we want. Maybe…”

“As long as you need me there, I will stay with you. If you will rest better without me, I will–”
“Who says I’d rest easy without you being there? That’s nonsense, Lan Zhan. I pretty much needed you to sleep up until recently, now my exhaustion takes over so I sleep at random times, but… why are you looking at me like that?”

“I overheard what you said to Uncle. I would do anything to--”

“No, no, no, it’s not like that! If I go, I’ll come back, of course I’ll come back! Besides, there’s only so long that Jiang Cheng can pretend to be nice to me. I couldn’t possibly live anywhere without you, I’d be willing to live in a pit of mud with you, it wouldn’t matter, as long as I’m with you it’s home and the rest of the world can fuck off…”

It is decided then, that Wei WuXian will take Xiào to the Yungmeng Jiang Sect with Lan WangJi for a few weeks. Unfortunately, just the night before their departure, it is discovered that Lan WangJi’s uncle has fallen terribly ill, and Lan XiChen asks that he stays behind to help take care of their uncle. Though he wanted to protest, Wei WuXian assured him that they would be fine on their own and that he should stay. 

It is difficult to agree, especially since Wei WuXian had a fainting spell recently, and how would he take care of the baby while driving?

His worries subside when Wei WuXian promises that he’s gotten Wen Ning to agree to come with them for most of the journey.

It is still hard to watch him leave, being unsure as to when he will return. 

***

“You had not mentioned before how unhappy your son is,” Wen Ning remarks as the infant tugs at his hair, wailing loudly.

“He’s never like this… it must be because Lan Zhan’s not here. His favoritism is remarkable, considering I’m the one who brought him into this world. Here, you drive, I’ll hold him.”

And so, they switch positions, but Xiào is still unhappy. Wei WuXian frowns, unsure of what to do. It seems like Lan WangJi is so much better at figuring out what the baby wants or needs than he is. For a moment, he debates turning around, but his pride won’t let him. The idea of being around Lan QiRen any longer has his insides twisting.

Eventually, Xiào’s crying subsides and turns to little hiccups in his sleep. Wei WuXian bundles him in another blanket and leans back with a sigh. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“You can’t tell anyone, Wen Ning.”
“Who have I to tell?”

“...I’m afraid of what Xiào will look like when he’s older.”

“What? Why?”

“I’ve hardly been able to sleep at night recently just thinking about it. Is Xiào really my son, or does he belong to someone whose body I occupy? If he grows up sharing any similarities with Mo XuanYu, then--”

“I would not worry about such things, Young Master.”

“But I do! Oh, God, you don’t understand how difficult it is sometimes to be in a body that’s not your own. I see my reflection and know it’s not really me, I’m looking at someone else, and this baby… I’m not even sure he belongs to me. I’m so scared…”

“So what if he does look like Mo XuanYu? He gave this body to you. Xiào is still your son. You know that, deep down. And you worry that this child doesn’t love you, but how could they not? It is their natural instinct… why are you crying?”

“I don’t know! I can’t expect anyone to understand it. Oh, don’t look at me.”

.

They part ways at the gates of the Yungmeng Jiang Sect. Jiang Cheng is there to meet him and looks surprised when he doesn’t see Lan WangJi with him. 

“He had to stay back.” Wei WuXian says calmly, holding his son a little tighter. “But he’ll come when he can.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he will.”

They dine together, and it is becoming increasingly obvious that something heavy is on Wei WuXian’s mind. It doesn’t take long to prod it out of him. “You finally stood up to old Lan QiRen? I’m surprised you two hadn’t fought before now.”
“We hadn’t gotten a chance before now. It was bad. I hate that old man so much, he’s never had any respect for me.”

“Why do you put up with it? You two definitely have enough money to move somewhere else, so…”

“It’s because of his brother. He doesn’t want to leave him behind. They’re really close, you know, they depend on each other for a lot of things.” 

“Sometimes a man has to learn to detach himself from his birth family, though. He’s close to forty now, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, well Zewu-jun’s the only family he really has. They’ve been through a lot and--”

“It doesn’t matter. Do you think I’d still live with my married sister if she were still here? Of course not!”

“We do live in a house of our own…”

“In a sect with rules against you, yeah.”

“Jiang Cheng, I can’t just ask him to leave the sect that he was born into. I married into it, I have to deal with the consequences of that.”
“You think he wouldn’t agree if you asked him to move away? You’re wrong. He’d do anything for you, Wei WuXian, and you know it.”

“I do know it, but I don’t know if it would be right to ask.”

***

Wei WuXian is left to sleep on it that night in his quiet room, a bit separated from the others per his request since Xiào tends to wake a lot at night. Would I be happier away from the GusuLan Sect? It’s a no brainer, of course he would be. But what about Lan Zhan? He likes it there. It’s his home. I’m the one that agreed to come there in the first place. No matter how much he tries to convince himself, it’s no use. He cannot be certain that Lan WangJi would be happy living someplace else, at least not anytime soon.

It’s not like Wei WuXian is completely innocent in the reason for those rules being on the wall. And there are so many rules, maybe it’ll be a dozen years or more before Xiào even realizes those rules exist. The idea does little to assure him. He can just see it now, the day his son finds those rules, and how in an effort to please his family, he’ll speak to and respect Wei WuXian less and less as the days go on until Xiào will demand to live someplace else.

Maybe Jiang Cheng is right. Maybe it would be better to fully retire early and move to a place where it’s just the three of them (Lan SiZhui would undoubtedly stay at the Sect to complete his studies). Wei WuXian would be lying if he said he hadn’t dreamt of it dozens of times before. He runs a hand down his son’s back, sighing deeply. Help me to make the right choice for him, above anyone or anything else. If I have to stay in that miserable sect forever to make him happy, so be it.

Wen Ning was right. Deep down, I know he’s my son, flesh or not. I love him too much.

***

Wei WuXian feels a bit better the following morning, even though he’s yet to make a decision. His son smiles at him when he wakes up, and that’s enough to make his whole day. Of course, directly after smiling, he soaks his diaper, requiring quite a bit of clean up and a bath, but none of that matters.

They both like to sleep in after Xiào’s feeding at 5:00, and today they make their first appearance out of the house at 11 (after his bath and changings)

If I made it through a whole night without Lan Zhan, I can do anything!

The next few days passed by with the same tranquility. His son was an angel, he was spoiled by everyone he met. Even Jin Ling was fond of him. He refused to hold Xiào, but after a while, he took him from Jiang Cheng with no explanation and his frown faded. He saw this child as family too, in some way, and decided to be nice to him. Xiào was kind in return, smiling when prompted and charming them, but it was clear that among everyone, Jiang Cheng was his favorite. Why? Nobody knows. 

Xiào must have been held by about everyone in the Yungmeng Jiang Sect, and while Wei WuXian allowed it, he was always closeby in case something happened.

Something did happen, though, despite Wei WuXian watching over him. On the seventh day at the Sect, Xiào wakes up with a sniffle, and by that night, he is running a low fever. So Wei WuXian, being a worried first time parent, spends the whole night awake just to make sure the fever doesn’t spike.

The next day, he is exhausted, but Xiào wants to stay awake. He is unhappy in his current sickly state and cries for most of the day. There comes a point where Wei WuXian is immune to it. Later on, he receives a letter from home, which lightens his mood. While Xiào takes one of his many five minute naps (before he starts crying again), he replies.

***

Lan Zhan,

You write such short letters, how can I possibly swoon over them? Give me something a bit more romantic next time, will you? Extend my thanks to SiZhui for sending along more clothes for Xiào, it turns out I did need them. It seems like he has gotten sick as well. Nothing dangerous, so don’t think about coming back yet. He’s just got a little fever and has hardly slept today. Which means I haven’t either.

WY

Last thing- how can the old man be deathly ill for all this time? Our son is three months old now, but at this rate, he’ll be ten by the time we know if Lan QiRen’s gonna get better. 

“Is everything alright?” Lan XiChen notices the slight distress that flashes over his brother’s face while he reads his most recent letter.

“Xiào was sick.”

“Oh no… is he better? If he isn’t, you must go, of course you must go.”

“He says he is a bit better now… I should not leave you at a time such as this. If something were to happen while I was gone…”

“Then I would insist for you not to blame yourself. If you are worried about your son, then you need to go to him.”

Lan WangJi still seems a bit hesitant.

“WangJi, I want you to go. Knowing my nephew is sick at such a young age makes me just as nervous as I am about Uncle. Just… come back when he is well, I will keep you updated on what is happening here.”

And so, that very evening when Lan WangJi was preparing to leave, Lan SiZhui stops him by the cart, exclaiming: “Wait! I want to go with you!”

Lan WangJi nods, not needing to ask why. He moves over and makes room on the seat beside him. Lan SiZhui climbs up onto the cart, adding, “I heard that the baby’s sick, and I don’t think I could rest knowing he is without seeing him for myself!”

“I understand.”

It is dawn when they arrive at the outer building where Wei WuXian had been staying. The lights are dim, but Lan WangJi can see a candle flickering against the wall by one of the windows. Climbing down from the cart, he leaves Lil’ Apple to graze. As he is about to open the door, Wei WuXian beats him to it. “Lan Zhan!” He exclaims, throwing himself onto his husband. “I told you not to come, now your family’s gonna—”

Lan WangJi kisses his forehead. “I had to come. I could not rest.”

“I haven’t been able to either. He’s… he’s fine, you know, the fever’s broke, but I was a little worried last night…”

The two walk into the small cabin, and there’s Xiào asleep on the bed, snoring a bit from his stuffy nose. Lan WangJi kneels by the bed and traces a finger across his cheek. “How did he get sick?”

“Well, the throwing up was first. Then it was the rain… the dampness in the air… I- I never took him out into the rain or anything, I’m not an idiot. It just happened…”

“It is not your fault.” He gently places a few fingers on his son’s forehead, frowning slightly. “He is still a little warm.”

“He isn’t nearly as warm, Lan Zhan, I can tell you that.”

“You are very tired, Wei Ying. You should rest. I’m here now, so is SiZhui. We will take care of him.”

“What would I do without you?” Wei WuXian smiles at him, albeit tearfully. He eases himself onto the single bed instead of the one his son is resting on and doesn’t take long to fall asleep.

Lan SiZhui finally comes inside and helps Lan WangJi tidy the place, which Wei WuXian has been unable to do all these days as he takes care of his son. “Do you want me to wash Xiào-dìdì’s clothes?” 

Lan WangJi smiles at the name and shakes his head. “No, I will do it, but you can help me gather the clothes.”

“It looks like Senior Wei has had a difficult time without you here, Hanguang-jun. Why did no one from the Yunmeng-Jiang Sect help?”

“He didn’t ask.”

“You think so? That makes sense…”

Each carry a sack full of laundry outside to the neglected laundry basin. The two spend most of the morning either washing or hanging the laundry to dry, or tending to Xiào once he woke up. It was warm outside, so they undressed him save for a light blanket while they washed his outfit, which he’d dirtied after he woke. Eventually, Xiào squirmed out of the blanket and sat in just his diaper on Lan SiZhui’s lap, sniffing every now and then.

“Hanguang-jun…”
“Yes?”

“How long do you think Senior Wei will stay here?”

“As long as he wants to.”

“You aren’t going to ask him to come back with us?”

“No.”

Lan SiZhui bites his lip, trying to distract himself by playing with Xiào. 

“What is the matter?”

“What if he never comes back home? What if he wants to stay away forever?”

“I cannot say what he will or will not do, SiZhui.”

“B-But… Xiào-dìdì has to be taught at the Lan Sect if he—”

“What are you two talking about out here?” Wei WuXian smiles brightly, stooping down to kiss Lan WangJi’s cheek. “It’s so great to wake up and find you here. How’s Xiào?”

“He’s a bit warm, but he’s happy right now.” Lan SiZhui replies.

“Yeah, he looks happier than he’s been these past few days. Poor little guy… you know, Lan Zhan,” he turns to Lan WangJi, “I let too many people hold him back then, when you left. I think that’s how he got sick. How stupid of me. He’s never been held by so many people… just us three, Jiang Cheng, Wen Ning and your brother before.”

“Fortunately, he is getting better. We must be more careful, moving forward.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry, Lan Zhan.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

.

That night, they lie behind a divider between the beds, waiting until Lan SiZhui and Xiào are both asleep to start talking. Wei WuXian is lying atop of him like he used to, hugging Lan WangJi tightly. “How is everything back home?” He whispers.

“Uncle is still no better.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. Even though he’s a thorn in my side, I know he’s important to you. He raised you, and I do respect that.”

Lan WangJi kisses his forehead again. “I am glad you are able to do that. I wish he could feel the same.”

“I’m not too worried about it in the meantime. Jiang Cheng says I can stay as long as I want since I’m not really bothering him out here.”

“How long do you want —”
“Hmm… I’m not sure yet. Maybe until the end of the summer?” They are quiet for a minute, and then he adds, “I’m tired of the tension. Let’s go outside and kiss and stuff, I missed you.”

Lan WangJi doesn’t need to be told twice.

Giggling, Wei WuXian drags Lan WangJi behind a tree in the yard and kisses him deeply. “This is all you’re getting, Lan Zhan. I’m not ready to give you another Young Master Lan, you’ll have to be patient.”

“We already have two. Two is enough.”

“Yeah, I know, but I do want a daughter someday. It can be years from now, though, I’m perfectly content with Xiào. He really is a perfect baby.”
“Yes.”

“And you are the perfect husband. How did I get so lucky? I think about this all the time.”

“I’m lucky, too…”

Wei WuXian keeps quiet, alarming Lan WangJi. “You do not think so?”

“I could’ve gotten all of us kicked out of the Sect for what I did back then. I’ve caused a lot of trouble for you.”

“Nonsense.” Lan WangJi pulls him close and covers his mouth with his own. 

“Really? Do you like me more than your whole sect?”
“Much more.”

“Really?”

“Mn. Love you more than anything.” 

Wei WuXian blushes dark. He moves to wrap his arms around Lan WangJi’s neck. “Then kiss me!”

“I did kiss you.”

“Again!”

And so they kiss, again and again, while Wei WuXian tries to remind Lan WangJi of how much he was missed. 

***

Two days later, all that remains of Xiào’s sickness is sneezes. This humors Wei WuXian, because Lan WangJi seems to have caught a cold as well, and the two sneeze in just the same way. The three of them are on a boat out on one of the lakes, Xiào in Wei WuXian’s lap. Not ten seconds after his round of sneezes, Lan WangJi— though he tried to hold it in— sneezed as well. To their amazement, Xiào giggled at him.

“Oh, do it again, Lan Zhan!”

“I do not… have to sneeze anymore?”

“Just pretend, quick! I wanna hear him laugh again.”

Unable to say no to Wei WuXian’s pleading eyes, he mimics a sneeze.

As expected, Xiào laughs, a little louder this time. It is the most adorable sound Wei WuXian has ever heard. He hugs Xiào a little closer and sighs. “We’re so lucky.”

“Yes, we are.”

But soon, Xiào starts to whine and squirm in his arms. Frowning, Wei WuXian gives him what he wants and puts him in Lan WangJi’s lap. 

“What are you making that face?”

“What face?” 

“You are jealous.”

“Me, jealous? Impossible.”

“You held him for a while. It is natural that he would want to move around. It does not mean he dislikes you.” 

“Yeah, he just likes you more.” 

“Does this belief of yours stem from some sort of insecurity? You mention it often.”

“Insecurity? What, stating a fact is an insecurity?”

“What does it matter, who Xiào wants?”

“You say that because he likes you best. Hmmph. Anyway, I just want to know what I did to offend him.”

“Wei Ying.”

“What, why are you looking at me like that?” Wei WuXian’s cheeks color and he stubbornly looks away.

“Wen Ning told me that you fear Xiào is not really yours.”

“Wh-What?! Why would he say that?? Clearly he’s—”

Lan WangJi rests a hand on Wei WuXian’s knee. “I know he did not make up such a story.”

“And so what if I said it? I was tired and emotional back then.”
“You still meant it.”

“I decided that he’s my son no matter what, but it’s just taking the rest of me a little longer to process it. It’s not really something I want to talk about, Lan Zhan, since it’s over with now. So can we just talk about something else?”

“Of course.”

It is quiet between them, save for the baby’s coos and the rippling of the water, but it is a content sort of quiet. Wei WuXian reaches across the gap and lets Xiào grasp his finger. All three of them smile.

Chapter Text

“He’s certainly cheered up since the last time I saw him,” Lan XiChen remarks to his brother as the two observe Wei WuXian from afar. He is seated by the water and is amusing himself by dipping Xiào’s toes in to make him squeal.

Lan WangJi bows his head slightly.

“It has always been the same for me. I feel much more at ease at home in comparison to being someplace I’m unfamiliar with. It wouldn’t matter if I stayed away for years, it will always be the same.”

“I know. He is clearly happier here…”

“But you aren’t.”

“It does not matter. I am content.”

“WangJi, as your brother, I know better. You have always been a shy individual. You don’t do well as a long-term guest. You like the routine and regularity of home.”

“Have you ever heard of a husband and wife who live such a long journey apart? In any manuscript I have read, the spouses are divorced under such circumstances.”

“Be at ease, WangJi, I am not suggesting a divorce. It is simply difficult to understand what he wants to do. He cannot expect the hospitality he receives here to hold up forever, can he? He will either have to rejoin or leave, he cannot be a permanent guest…”

Lan WangJi holds back a sigh. “I do not know what he wants, either.”

“Why haven’t you asked?”

“He interprets the question as a request to return to the Sect.”

“Hm. I can see we are at a stand-still. Very well. I won’t bother you about it anymore, WangJi, I know you think about it often enough anyway. Perhaps my visit will remind him that a decision should be made soon.”

Just then, Wei WuXian carries his son over to the brothers, his clothes a bit damp from Xiào’s splashing and wet feet. “Hey, we’re turning in for a nap. You’ll have to excuse us for the rest of the afternoon.” Nap time is Wei WuXian’s favorite time of the day. Since he no longer is able to sleep in as late as he wants, he can use Xiào as an excuse to nap on and off throughout the day when he wants to, and it is wonderful to catch up on all the night’s lost sleep.

Wei WuXian isn’t entirely sure why Lan XiChen is at the Yungmeng Jiang Sect. Lan WangJi didn’t invite him, and a Sect Leader would never turn up uninvited, especially when they’re not on friendly terms with the host. By that reasoning, Wei WuXian knows that Jiang Cheng must have invited him, but why? They have no business with each other…

Whatever the issue, it can’t be urgent, because neither have spoken yet. And it probably concerns him, but he’s not interested at the moment. While Xiào falls asleep, he plays with Wei WuXian’s hair and tugs it every now and then, which is too distracting to think about anything else. When the tugging got too badly, he’d put his hair in a bun, but it was no use, Xiào would tug it back down again if he wanted to. He supposes it’s something like a comfort device, as some children are attached to a blanket or a toy, Xiào is attached to long hair.

It’s wonderful being a parent, but there is a bittersweet aspect to it, too. Perhaps it is because he is acquainted with so many orphans (himself, included) that he is afraid of anything happening to him or Lan WangJi during Xiào’s childhood. The fact that all of his acquaintances and relatives are orphans doesn’t help his rationing. Having a parent into adulthood doesn’t seem common.

Well , I just won’t take as many risks, is all. I’ve already died once. The probability of dying anytime soon should be low.

Still, even if he and Lan WangJi are to meet an untimely death, at least he can be confident that his son will be well taken care of, by Lan SiZhui and Wen Ning, and Lan XiChen, and especially Jiang Cheng. They all love him almost as much as Wei WuXian does.

(Though it is absolutely impossible for anyone to love Xiào more than Wei WuXian does.)

As he starts to drift off to sleep, he wonders how Lan WangJi would feel about raising Xiào someplace belonging to no Sect at all. Only because he loves this child so much, and doesn’t want to share him with anyplace that might crush his spirits, take his kindness, or his childhood…

He would be well-disciplined and very skilled once he grows up, but visions of warm summer days teaching his son to swim and playing among the endless rolling fields makes him much happier than the thought of him seated in lectures for eight hours or more of the day, and being forbidden to play, or laugh, or do anything that an adult wouldn’t, as just a small child.

Wei WuXian only wants to do what’s best for him. But is it possible? Who will take over the GusuLan Sect when Lan XiChen dies someday? Alright, he’s looking far into the future on this one, but still. Obviously, Lan WangJi would have to take over, assuming he was still alive at that point, but who would success him? Lan SiZhui? Though he was raised in the Lan Sect, he was born of the Wen clan, which would mean preference would go to Xiào… unless of course, Lan XiChen found a partner and produced an heir. Which, he won’t lie, the producing an heir part of that sentence seems seems very unlikely.

Anyway, assuming Xiào is the heir, with a childhood as wonderful as his will be, he won’t stand for the ridiculous rules and will surely make plenty of modifications. Yes, that doesn’t sound too bad, being the worst case scenario and all. 

***

Wei WuXian and Xiào look identical while sleeping. Both with a cheek squished against Lan WangJi’s chest and lips parted, both are drooling, hair disheveled and both sleep with an arm curled up to their chest. Lan WangJi cannot help but smile when he wakes up to such a sight. It’s adorable.

Today is the day of the banquet, and his brother will be attending. Wei WuXian is not aware of the real reason Lan XiChen is visiting, and everyone plans to keep it that way. For once, Wei WuXian deserves to enjoy something with no knowledge of any strings attached.

It is past five now and time for him to get up, but it’s no simple task with two humans attached to his body. Surprisingly, Wei WuXian is the easy one. A couple of gentle pushes and kisses to his forehead and he’ll usually comply and roll onto his other side. Xiào is the challenge. Waking him before he’s ready is dangerous, and if one must, a bottle, two diapers and a changing of clothes are needed at the minimum. So, as always, he moves with prisicion and extremely slowly. He lifts Xiào from under his neck and his bottom and slides him into Wei WuXian’s hold so he won’t detect much of a difference. Once he’s assured that Xiào isn’t going to wake up prematurely, he kisses his cheek, then Wei WuXian’s lips, and then he’s gone.

On a good day, neither will get up for at least another two hours. Those two hours are pretty much the only ones Lan WangJi has alone daily— and not that he minds spending time with his family or anything, but he enjoys the quiet for reading, getting work done, meditating or bathing… it’s nice.

He and Wei WuXian don’t get to spend as much time together as they’d like, but he can’t even imagine asking someone to watch the baby for that purpose. It seems selfish to ask, but he wants it anyway, and Lan XiChen offered to babysit after the banquet because of it.

He is going to surprise Wei WuXian with the news after he wakes up. To be honest, they need this alone time. Things have been kind of tense in their marriage recently.

Many will insist that having a child completes a marriage, but no one ever talks about the bad times. When the baby wakes up screaming at one o’clock in the morning and nothing will soothe him, and when he finally dozes off almost two hours later just to wake up immediately, their arguments will become brutal when it comes to deciding on who is going to take him outside to walk. Or when they’re both sleep deprived and they have a minor disagreement that escalates into not speaking for the rest of the night, only to forget what they argued about by morning and not caring at all.

And wanting intimacy, but anything beyond that always is interrupted in some way. Even when they had free time during the baby’s nap, neither are ever in the mood for it at that time of day and resort to simply lying in each other’s arms and talking about nothing in particular.

Lan WangJi doesn’t regret anything, he just wishes they had been better prepared. Because when they’re not arguing about whose turn it is to change a diaper, it’s about their future. If they had decided on their future plans before charging into parenthood, a majority of their conflict would be gone.

Xiào is the first of the two to wake up. He pops his little head up and glances around, stopping when he sees Lan WangJi on the other side of the room. Lan WangJi lifts him up and kisses his cheek. “Bath time.”

He lingers there a few moments as he watches Wei WuXian sleep. It’s only when Xiào starts tugging at his forehead ribbon that he snaps out of his daze and leaves the room.

***

“Say, why did you never have a celebration of this little guy? Most people celebrate after one month, and he’s way past that.” Lan JingYi (who was invited by Lan SiZhui to the banquet) is only the seventeenth person to ask Wei WuXian this question. But it’s a touchy subject, and out of respect for his deceased senior sister, he would never do such a thing.

Wei WuXian's response is rehearsed from having to say it so many times before. “We just didn’t feel the need to, JingYi. After all, anyone who needed to see him has already seen him, so throwing a party over him seems like overkill. Don’t worry, he wouldn’t have missed out on much. The Lan Sect doesn’t know how to throw a good celebration anyway.”

It was difficult enough attending the banquet today. The memories were especially painful, and so Wei WuXian did not say or eat much, to everyone’s surprise. He used to love the Yungmeng Jiang Sect banquets when he was younger.

“What, is the food not good enough for you today, Wei WuXian? If you don’t eat another bowl I’ll have to assume you’ve gone mad.” Jiang Cheng nudges him, but Wei WuXian says nothing. “What’s the matter with you? Look at all the effort everyone put into this. It’s for your kid, you know! You should be a little more grateful.”

Wei WuXian abruptly stands, knocking over a bowl. Everyone is looking at him, but he doesn’t care. He bows politely to Jiang Cheng and walks away. Jiang Cheng immediately follows.

.

“It’s not like you to be so…”
“So what?”

“So broody. Since when does food not cheer you up? Why were you being such a grouch?” The two are seated outside Wei WuXian's room, side by side, with just enough distance between them to remind them that they aren't brothers like they used to be.

“You sure know a lot about being a grouch, Jiang Cheng.” Wei WuXian rolls his eyes, but his expression is somber. “I was just thinking about the way things used to be, about the way things might have been. But because of me, they couldn’t be.”

Jiang Cheng mulls on the topic. Admittedly, it has been on his mind all day, too.

“I won’t ask to stay here permanently anymore, Jiang Cheng. I can’t.”

“Why not? You’ve been here long enough already.”

“Because…” Desperately fighting back tears, Wei WuXian has to force himself to smile. “Because it wouldn’t be right! You’d have to be babysitter all the time and I would constantly be-”

“Wei WuXian, do you think I’m an idiot?”

His smile fades. “Alright, I’ll tell you. It’s painful being here. You can pretend you don’t hate me for my son’s sake, but I know it pains you to be around me, too. It’s more painful being here, remembering our childhood and everything, than anything else.”

“Where will you go, then? You can’t go back there.”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to go back until we have something else arranged. I don’t want to burden you for too long.”

“Too long? If I was worried about that, I would’ve kicked you out weeks ago. Listen, I don’t care if you stay or not. You just need to make a decision for the kid’s sake. Don’t let him get used to being in a place only to rip him away from it for no good reason.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were so attached to my son. Who knew the idea of him leaving would upset you so much? Haha, how about this then, when he’s a little older I’ll send him to visit during the summers to pester you.”

“And you’re worried about me being a babysitter now … fine. Every summer, and birthdays.”

“Birthdays?”

“What kind of birthday dinner would he get over at the Lan Sect? No, he deserves much better—“

Wei WuXian enveloped him in a tight hug, catching Jiang Cheng off-guard. Surprisingly, he doesn't push Wei WuXian away, but he doesn't return the hug, either. “I’m sorry I ruined your life. Apologizing is pointless, but even I know it’s not fair I got a second chance, a family and all that. I certainly don’t deserve them.”

“Who cares if you deserve it or not? You have it anyway, so stop whining and be grateful. A lot of people would love to be in your position. An ungrateful brat, as usual.”

“I’m not ungrateful! I’m just confused as to why… why…”

“Who cares why? Nobody knows why these things happen. If you spend all your time asking unanswerable questions you’ll fuck up this life too.”

“Fine, fine. I won’t ask anymore.” He lets go of Jiang Cheng. “As hard as it is to say… thank you for all you’ve done for us. We really appreciate it. If you ever reproduce, we’ll return the favors.”

“Yeah, no chance. I’ve seen what that kid is capable of, and I think it’s more fun to be an… ugh, never mind.”

“Look, if you consider Xiào your nephew, I don’t care. It’s good for you, you’re a good uncle.”

“Hmmph. Whatever. I don’t care what he thinks of me as.”

“Yeah right.” Wei WuXian smooths his hair back. “You love my kid. The irony is insane…”

“Okay, I don’t love him, he’s just a nice kid, and he doesn’t talk, so I don’t mind him. Hopefully he doesn’t inherit your mouth, or we’ll all be in for a huge problem.”

“I don’t think he’ll be inheriting anything from me. I guess that’s a good thing.”
“What do you mean? Don’t try telling me you didn’t birth him, I saw things I wish I hadn’t…”

“No, I see it in him already. He’s Mo XuanYu’s kid. Whatever he inherits will either be his or Lan Zhan’s. It’s… it’s a good thing, for everyone.”

“Yeah right. You think if you say it enough you’ll convince yourself. Don’t be an idiot. He looks like a baby . A fucking potato , if you will. Plus, I overheard your beloved Hanguang-jun tell his brother about a similarity you have.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“He says you both drool like idiots in your sleep and make the same ugly sleeping face. And why don’t you put that kid in his own crib? He’s never going to sleep alone if you don’t start him early. And also… why are you walking away? You never listen to anyone’s advice.”

***

While everyone is lounging about after the banquet, Lan WangJi approaches Wei WuXian and asks him to walk with him by the water.

“I don’t know, it’s close to his naptime, and he’s happy where he is.”

Lan WangJi takes his hand. “So he will stay with Brother.”

Wei WuXian looks up skeptically at Lan XiChen. “You really don’t have to—”

“It is fine, Young Master Wei. I’d be glad to watch him for a while.”

“Are you sure? Because he can get fussy before naptime and sometimes he—”

Lan XiChen laughs softly, motioning to Xiào, who is playing with Lan SiZhui and Lan JingYi in the grass. “He will be alright.”

“Wei Ying, let’s go.” Lan WangJi gently tugs him away, and Wei WuXian relents. “Wait. Let me say goodbye to him first— Lan Zhan, put me down!!!”

.

“Why do we have to be so far from everyone else for you to tell me what’s going on?” Wei WuXian is still being carried, and now he can hardly see the banquet. 

“Someone will listen.”

“Maybe. But so what?”

After a long while of walking, Lan WangJi puts him down and sits down by the lake. “You may go back if that is what you want.”

“No, that’s too far a walk. I think I’ll sit here with my shy husband who doesn’t want to admit why he brought me here.” And so Wei WuXian does sit, but nowhere respectable: Lan WangJi’s lap is far more comfortable than the ground. “Tell me.”

Lan WangJi takes Wei WuXian’s hands, squeezing them softly. “I did not want to say this.”
“You know you can say anything to me, you can insult me or tell me to recite the entire Wall of Rules or whatever, if I don’t like it, I won’t listen.”

“That is what I fear.” Looking down for a moment, he says slowly, “Between us… things have been different. Since coming here.”

Wei WuXian’s eyes widen. He tries to think about what Lan WangJi might be referring to. Have they argued a lot recently? Yes. But they are still very in love, so… “Different how?”

“You are not the same. Too stressed.”

“Of course I get stressed sometimes, who doesn’t with an infant?”

“Not about that. You speak poorly of yourself and hardly speak to me.”

Wei WuXian blows a strand of hair from his face and pouts. “Don’t you think I’m in a tough situation, here?”

“The situation is over.”

“It is not!”

“It is. Wei Ying.” He raises Wei WuXian’s hand to his lips. “Brother and Jiang Wanyin have come to an agreement.”
“About what?”

“About you.”

“They’ve actually spoken? What? Why? Tell me!”

“You do not wish to return home. You do not wish to stay here. So you— we— will not live in either place.”

Wei WuXian cannot believe his ears. “What are you saying?”

“There is land. Near the Cloud Recesses. A house will be built there in the spring…”

“For me? Will you live there too? How does this have to do with Jiang Cheng?”

Lan WangJi stands and helps Wei WuXian to his feet. “Someone must pay for the purchase of the land. Someone must pay for the wages of those who build it.”

“Did he actually offer—?”
“Yes.”

Lips pinched together, Wei WuXian looks away, only for Lan WangJi to tip his chin up so they are eye to eye. “I want you to be happy.”

“Yeah? And what… what about you? You’ve seemed different lately, too. Do you miss me or something?”

“I do.” After a pause, he adds, “It is time for our son to sleep in a cradle.”
“Are you jealous of a baby? Seriously? Isn’t jealousy against—”

“With you, one arm is numb in the morning. Now, both. I cannot function without my arms.”

Wei WuXian laughs, real, genuine. He wraps his arms around Lan WangJi’s neck and kisses him. “Fine, we can put him in the cradle and see if he’ll sleep. Though it might take a while. Any other requests?”

This one is a little harder to voice. Lan WangJi’s ears are tinted pink, and just as expected, when Wei WuXian places his head over Lan WangJi’s heart, it is pounding. “What? Are you asking for another son? I thought you just complained about your arms being numb!”

“Not yet, but…”

“Give me another year, then we’ll talk.” Wei WuXian leans in, whispering, “Have you seen my stomach? It stretches like goo… it’s gross… let me get my shape back first for a while. You know what? Maybe two years. How far apart are you and Zewu-jun?”

“Nearly three years.”

“Hm. Well, that’s my answer then.”

“Very well.”

Wei WuXian smiles at him for a moment, but his attention shifts to a tree behind them. “I bet if I climb to the top, I could see where our house is going to be.”

Lan WangJi turns around, having to tilt his head as far back as possible just to see the top. “Too high.”

“But you’ll catch me if I fall, so I’m not afraid.” Wei WuXian pats his cheek. “Give me a boost onto the first branch, won’t you?”

“No. I cannot catch you from such a height.”

“Oh please. You did last time!”

“Last time wasn’t nearly as high.”

Feigning an exasperated sigh, Wei WuXian leaps onto the first branch and starts his ascent. “You know, things are going to get much better from now on. You can still visit home. Probably every day if you wanted to. And if you don’t, I could have you all to myself.”

Lan WangJi doesn’t reply. He’s feeling rather tense, watching Wei WuXian climb higher and higher with no regard to his safety. This tree is old. Some of the branches are flimsy… 

“You know, I once thought about having a dozen children. Can you imagine? That was my naivete. Two little ones will be more than enough. How do you think Xiào would react to a new baby? He’s never been around anyone his age. I’m not sure he knows such a thing exists as another child.”

Wei WuXian is so high up that Lan WangJi can hardly hear his voice clearly anymore. "Wei Ying, I do not think you could possibly see what you are looking for. It is best if you come down."
"In a minute! I bet no one has ever climbed so high before." On the branch just above him, there is a bird's nest, empty and falling apart. Beside it, there is a note nailed to the tree! "Jiang Cheng of Yunmeng, age 14, stopped climbing here. He is a coward." "Haha, Lan Zhan, it looks like Jiang Cheng and me did climb this tree after all! I bet there's a note of mine even higher up. I bet I made it all the way to the top."

And so he climbs higher and higher, to the point where Lan WangJi feels dizzy just watching him. Wei WuXian stands on a branch almost at the top. "There's no more branches to climb from here, damn. What do you think, Lan Zhan? You want to join me up here?"

Lan WangJi doesn't reply, only because he can no longer hear him. He is starting to feel nauseous. Why? Wei WuXian is a daredevil, he does such things all the time. But there is something making his stomach twist, something he cannot quite name. If he looks any longer, he will get sick.

"Fine, I'll come down. You're no fun."

Just as Lan WangJi turns away from the tree, he hears a snap, a shout of pain that is cut short, and he has only seconds to react quickly enough to maneuver away from a large fallen branch, and catch an unconscious Wei WuXian in his arms. The force of an uncontrolled body falling onto him sends him off of his feet and sliding a few feet backwards. Bones are twisted in ways they should never be, skin is dark purplish where it should never be. In the blink of an eye the afternoon that promised rising morale, promised hope for a bright future together, is shattered into a nightmare from hell. His entire body trembles, he's frozen. He cannot even call for help.

Chapter Text

With Wei WuXian back in his life, Jiang Cheng cannot deny the fact that he feels incredibly guilty just by simply acknowledging him, so no, things could never be great between them. Even if Jin Ling doesn’t mind, Wei WuXian is the reason that boy’s parents are dead, and here he is, uncle of this kid, allowing the man to stay in his Sect for all of this time. Even if Jiang YanLi would’ve approved, Jiang Cheng knew more about the situation than she did, and his feelings could not be shaken. So when he and Lan XiChen began discussing the future of Wei WuXian between their two Sects, he was quick to agree that having him live someplace entirely separate would be best for everyone involved. Hell, he’d even pay for all of it in secret just to get some of this suffocating guilt off of his chest. 

Xiao’s about the only exception in the situation. He can’t help but to dote on the youngster for reasons he can’t quite understand. But ever since he first met the baby, he’s felt an attachment to him. Maybe he’s just got a soft spot for children, but whatever it is, it’s clouding his reasoning. He can tell that it’s the same for Lan XiChen, who would probably willingly retire and spend his days knitting hats and mittens for his beloved nephew at this point. It’s almost humorous how much someone of the serious and stern Lan clan dotes on this child.

Xiao had that effect on everyone he met. 

If only Wei WuXian wasn’t… Wei WuXian, then everything would be perfect. 

Jiang Cheng was reflecting on this when he heard the commotion from Wei WuXian’s injury and immediately reinforced that idea. He offered to take Xiao off of Lan XiChen’s hands, but it was always a near-argument between them when it came to deciding who got to keep Xiao. Jiang Cheng wasn’t about to make a fuss about it or anything, because how mature would that be? But why should Lan XiChen have privilege over him when it comes to that decision? 

“I’ll take him,” Lan SiZhui rushes by in a swoop, leaving Lan XiChen empty-handed and staring at Jiang Cheng. “We should… probably…”

“Sure.” Jiang Cheng brushes past him and walks towards the scene of the commotion, leaving Lan XiChen behind. Can’t I just take this kid from his stupid parents and ascetic cult of a family? 

Maybe it’s wrong to think that way, but he still harbors a strong bitterness towards people he should’ve forgiven long ago. But forgiveness doesn’t come easily to him, no matter how hard he tries. There have been many pleasant days with Wei WuXian this summer, but in the back of his mind, a reminder of who might have still been alive had it not been for Wei WuXian’s doings plagues him. 

But the only way he can be in Xiao’s life is if he plays nice around his parents, so damn his emotions, damn them all.

By the time he approaches the location of the incident, everyone has scattered, being directed here and there to further assist Wei WuXian, who is as pale as death, save for a trickle of blood from his lips. Lan WangJi is knelt at his side, unmoving and wide-eyed. His sword is stabbed straight through the culprit of the accident. 

“What did he do now? Why can’t he—”
“Shut up.” Lan WangJi immediately snaps as he lifts Wei WuXian into his arms, as if to protect him. 

“You’re telling me to shut up? Do you know where you are right now? Do you think you—”
“Jiang WanYin, I apologize on my brother’s behalf.” There’s Lan XiChen coming to his defense as he always does. “And on behalf of Young Master Wei for his carelessness in this situation.”

As if you have the right to do that , Jiang Cheng thinks bitterly. “Take him back to the doctor’s pavilion. When he’s better I want all of you out of here.”

Only Lan WangJi looks somewhat surprised, but no one says anything about it. Wei WuXian is taken to be examined and Jiang Cheng shuts himself up in his room. 

Lan SiZhui and the rest of the juniors stay in a room with the baby, watching him in shifts while worrying like mother hens over him. And Xiao loves the attention. He crawls around to visit with each junior and smiles when prompted, but it soon becomes a competition to see who Xiao likes most between Jin Ling and Lan SiZhui. 

When bribes didn’t work, it came down to putting Xiao across the room from them and seeing who he’d crawl to first. 

Instead of doing that, he crawled to the center of the room and rested his head on Lan JingYi’s robe, soon falling asleep.

“That doesn’t count!! He was definitely headed towards me.” 

“I don’t think so. He doesn’t even—“

“SiZhui.”

The lot of them straighten up in the presence of their Zewu-jun. “apologies! We were just—“

“SiZhui, never mind that. Follow me…”

And so the two leave the juniors behind with the baby into the silence of the outdoors. He knows better than to ask where they’re going, because it doesn’t seem to be anywhere in particular.

“You are familiar with Inquiry?”

“Yes, Zewu-jun.”

“I have just used it to speak with Young Master Wei.”

“Is he—?”
“He is still alive.”

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Good…”
“Yes, good, but it is unclear how much longer he will be at this time. We don’t know if he’s merely bruised himself or caused internal damage. Regardless, my brother… he is desperate. If Young Master Wei does not regain consciousness soon, he may feel that if he could transfer his core…”
“Transfer his core??”

“But we cannot allow it. Even Young Master Wei said so, repeatedly. We’ll do everything else we can to help him recover, which is why I need your help. I must go back and summon some of our doctors, my uncle… but while I am gone, you cannot let Hanguang-jun convince anyone to transfer his core, no matter what happens to Young Master Wei, be it death or permanent paralysis. It will not help him, and it will cause more harm than good. I will be back as soon as I can.”

“Yes! I will do my best…”

“I’m counting on you to take care of things during my absence, SiZhui.”

***

“It’s your turn, Jin Ling.” Lan JingYi murmurs when Xiao cries for the eighth time that night. Based on Lan SiZhui’s experience of listening through the wall in the middle of the night, Xiao doesn’t usually cry so often. It seems like he’s coming down with a cold of some sort. Just what they needed!

“What do you mean my turn? I changed him last!”

“Well, it’s not mine!”

“Not mine either!”

With a sigh, Lan JingYi nudges Lan SiZhui. “Your turn, then.”

He’s the only one who doesn’t complain aloud, even though he’s more exhausted than anyone. It’s all due to the promise he made to Wei WuXian the day Xiao was born, about always taking care of Xiao, his little brother .

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he picks Xiao up and takes him outside to get some fresh air. “Why can’t you sleep? Are you worried about Senior Wei, too?”

Xiao whines and moves to rest his head on Lan SiZhui’s shoulder, chewing on his forehead ribbon and then suddenly crying out sharply. “Oh! Are your teeth coming in, Xiao-didi? Is that why you’re upset?” Even though it isn’t proper, he presses a finger to Xiao’s gums. They’re swollen. “Well, I suppose neither of us will be sleeping tonight. That’s alright. Let’s go find something to make you feel better.” But where do I begin ?

Xiao falls silent but cannot sleep in such a state, so he keeps Lan SiZhui company on his search. Eventually, he slips into the doctor’s pavillion, which has fallen silent in the late hour. He does not see Wei WuXian nor does he go looking for him. He finds an unoccupied young woman who suggests a numbing medication, but hurries him out the moment she gives it to him. 

***

Xiao falls asleep at three o’clock in the morning and sleeps well into the next day. By then, he is given an update about Wei WuXian’s condition and their situation. By the looks of it, it’s quite grim. There haven’t been any improvements. He’s asked to keep an eye on Xiao and keep out of the way.

That evening, while the Juniors are eating dinner and Xiao is taking another blissfully uninterrupted nap, their Zewu-jun returns, which means that he must not have had to travel as far as originally planned.

It also means that “Sir” might be here, too. JingYi helps bar the doors because some of the Jiang juniors brought Emperor’s Smile into their little fortress and he is not about to take the blame for that. He hasn’t drank an ounce! Okay, one sip! But Lan SiZhui made him spit it out!

“I should probably go out there.” Lan SiZhui says among the dead silence. “Zewu-jun will want to see how the baby’s doing, and if Sir is with him…”

***

“Lan Zhan…”

It’s a small whisper in the darkness, never followed by anything else.

Replying is useless, he’s realized this by now. Wei WuXian can’t hear him. And if he can, he is unable to say anything else.

But Lan WangJi lays beside him nevertheless. Strokes his cheek, cares for him through every hour, prays to no one for a sign that everything will be alright. Guiltily admitting it to himself, he hasn’t thought much about Xiao in these past two days. He knows that Lan SiZhui is with him and that is enough for him to go on for now. He’s a responsible young man and, if need be, there are others who can be asked to watch Xiao.. 

These past two days, Lan WangJi has had a lot of time to reflect on all that’s happened in the past year. This time last year, he had just discovered that he was to become a father, but never would he have imagined all that it would have entailed for him. It hasn’t all been bad, or even a small portion of it. Xiao brought them an incredible about of joy to an already joyful life together. Lan WangJi would have been content following the chaos for the rest of his life, but he likes this version much better; instead of the chaos being corpses and ghouls, the chaos is a six month old little boy who is always on the go, who melts his heart every day.

Wei WuXian already missed out on the experience of raising one child with him. What he fears most is him missing out on it for a second time. So he has to get well. It doesn’t matter how long it will take; Lan WangJi will take care of him no matter what. He just has to live. 

“Lan Zhan…” Another whimper in the dark, the same as before. Lan WangJi smiles sadly and kisses Wei WuXian’s forehead, pulling the blanket over them both. “See you tomorrow, Wei Ying.”

There is no more noise that night.

***

“XiChen, I looked through every article I had with me at the time and there is no indication that…” Lan QiRen trails off upon realizing that his nephew is not alone in his room. There is a tiny gremlin— no, Wei WuXian’s child!— seated in Lan XiChen’s lap while he reads by the window.

“What is— why are you—” Lan QiRen collects himself. “A child should be left to a nursemaid, not a sect leader.” 

“The only ‘nursemaid’ this child has is SiZhui, who is exhausted after two days’ care. I decided to take over for a few hours. Truly, he’s no trouble at all.”

“He is chewing on your ribbon!” Lan QiRen weakly protests as he sets down what he was carrying onto the table. It looks like a lot of very old books. From then on, it doesn’t seem like he minds the child at all. “He looks very much like WangJi.”

“Yes, I agree. And yet, he is too outgoing to be completely similar.” 

“Outgoing? He seems quite quiet.”
“He’s tired. SiZhui says he has two new teeth coming in already, can you believe—”
“No I cannot believe, I’ve never met this child before now and have nothing else to go off of.” Sitting with a huff, Lan QiRen deliberately avoids looking in his nephew’s direction. But Lan XiChen finds the situation quite amusing. He knows that Lan QiRen loves children and due to Wei WuXian’s unconsciousness, he could technically meet Xiao without protest. But he’s too proud to do it. To admit he was wrong. Or anything like that.

But when it’s time for dinner, he has no choice but to sit at the same table as the baby, and it’s hard to look away. Lan SiZhui is with them, feeding spoonfuls of oatmeal into his little brother’s mouth, but anyone could tell he is still exhausted. A look of tiredness is already evident in Lan XiChen’s face, too. Neither of these simpletons know how to keep a child asleep at night. They clearly spoil him and pick him up every time he cries instead of waiting to see if it resolves on its own.

“Tonight,” Lan QiRen finally speaks once the table has been cleared. “I will watch him. You need to check up on WangJi, and you ,” he nods to Lan SiZhui, “need rest.”

No one dares to object to his request, not even Xiao when he’s handed over later that evening. He just stares at Lan XiChen, wide-eyed, as if to ask, Why are you leaving me with this scary old man ? It isn’t until he is alone with Lan QiRen in this scary, unfamiliar room that he starts to cry. Loudly. He leans back in his arms away from him like he wants to fall head first onto the ground, just like a certain parent of his. 

Thinking quickly, he plucks a small ice cube from the glass on the table and puts it in Xiao’s mouth. He shuts up immediately and reaches for the glass. 

You’re growing teeth already and I do not even know your name. 

***

In the morning, Lan SiZhui feels well rested and decides to check in on Xiao to see if he’s still alive. He finds his little brother fresh out of the bath in clean, white clothes. There are several bowls stacked neatly by the table. Definitely more than three. 

“None of you feed him enough. That is his problem.” Lan QiRen says in passing as he picks up the bowls from the table. 

“Sometimes… he doesn’t want to eat anymore…”

“He’s simply being stubborn. He does want more. The child acted as if he hadn’t ever tasted food before. He’s far too thin for his size.”

“Yes, Sir, but—”

“You have been here for far too long. It is time for you and JingYi to return to the Cloud Recesses.” 

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why is that? The forty-eighth rule of—”
“Senior Wei made me promise to always look after- after… the baby. To protect him. Keep him out of trouble!”

“Are you implying that I would harm this child?”

“No! No… never! I just want to fulfill my promise.” 

“Then… when do you intend on returning? If Wei WuXian stays here permanently with his child, then what?”

“...I will go home, of course. I would simply like to know a bit more about the situation before I leave. I do care for Senior Wei… he and Hanguang-jun have been like family to me for as long as I can remember. And Xiao, he’s…”

“Like a brother to you. I’ve realized as much.” Lan QiRen glances down at the child in question. “Very well. You may stay under one condition.”

“Yes, Sir. What is it?” 

“What is this child’s name?”

***

“Xiao… where is he?” Wei WuXian whispers, startling Lan WangJi in the dark. He quickly lights the candle by the bed to have a look. His eyes are open. He is alert. 

“Wei Ying, are you—”
“I’ve heard you, Lan Zhan. What you’ve said. What you’ve done. I was just… too tired to reply.”

“Mn… how are you feeling?”

“My head hurts.”

“I will find you some pills.”
“And I can’t feel my arms. Why are they wrapped so tightly?”

“They are injured.”

“What… did I do?”

“You do not remember?”

“The last thing I remember is… we were walking together, after the banquet?”

“Do you remember what we were talking about?”

Wei WuXian squints, as if that will help him remember. “You said you wanted another baby. I said give me another year.”

“And then?”

“... I can’t remember anything after that. Did you knock me unconscious from your disappointment?” 

“Of course not. Do not say such things.”

Wei WuXian smiles slightly. “Well I’m sorry then. I really can’t remember a thing after that. Did I—”

“I do not say it enough. Wei Ying, I—”

“You don’t have to say it, Lan Zhan. I know.”

“No, you are wrong. I should say it more. The reason being… I do not believe you always know. I believe you forget.”

“Forget? Just because Xiao changed my body up and as a result makes me feel awful sometimes doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten that you love me. I mean, you must love me a little bit at least if you were willing to take care of me and look after me all these years… my head hurts, Lan Zhan, don’t talk to me anymore.”

“Rest, then. We will talk later.”

“Stay?”

“Of course.”

***

The next morning, Hanguang-jun makes his appearance at the juniors’ hideout. Even though there’s clearly traces of alcohol, he doesn’t seem to notice or care. He’s in an unusually good mood, and he wants Xiao, which means that Wei WuXian is doing better.

The good mood ends as soon as Lan SiZhui whispers, “He’s not here, um… he was placed in an elder’s care.”

“An elder’s…”
“Your uncle, Hanguang-jun, he gave me no choice! He is still here, by the doctor’s pavilion. I’ve checked in every day, I’m—”

Lan WangJi has already spun around and calmly walks in the direction Lan SiZhui told him.

“I hope he’s not upset with me for breaking my promise…”

“Wouldn’t that be better than him punishing us for the alcohol and lounging around?”

.

“How is he?” 

“What is the extent of the injuries?”
“Will he recover?”
Many questions are hurled his way, but Lan WangJi carries Xiao back into the doctor’s pavillion without acknowledging any of them. 

Wei WuXian brightens up immediately once his son is with him. “He’s heavier, isn’t he? What has SiZhui been feeding him?”

Something flashes across Lan WangJi’s expression, but Wei WuXian has no way of knowing that Lan QiRen is just two doors down. “I do not know.”

“Well, he’s certainly well-taken care of. I just knew SiZhui would keep his promise. He’s such a good kid.”

“Mn…”

“Bring him closer. I know I can’t hold him, but it’s no fair that you keep him so far away.” The moment Lan WangJi complies, he tenses. “SiZhui wasn’t the one with him today. Lan Zhan ! Is Lan QiRen here?!”

“I did not know.”

His face turns red, then white, and he lets his head fall back against the pillow. “He only came because he knew… he knew I couldn’t stop him…”

“It was not that, Wei Ying… I thought it too, but it was Brother, he…”

“I trusted SiZhui to never let Lan QiRen take Xiao, and he—”
“He was exhausted. He needed a break.”
“He could’ve given Xiao to someone else! Anyone else!” 

“He did not want to break the rules. To disrespect one’s elders—”
“Fuck the rules!” After taking several deep breaths, Wei WuXian continues, “He’s a wicked man.”

“Brother sent him here to help. I do not think he held any ill intentions.”

“Lan Zhan, do you know how wrong you are? Do you think Lan QiRen would come here on my behalf? The man would celebrate my death! He came here for Xiao! Why does no one ever take my words seriously?”

***

Wei WuXian can walk just fine, it’s just his head that feels like it’s splitting in two, and his arms that ache worse than they ever had. His legs work, which is enough reason to find Lan QiRen himself and chase him away from his son, who doesn’t deserve such negativity and strictness in his life. Lan WangJi is asleep, so getting out of bed isn’t too much of a challenge, and leaving the doctor’s pavilion is fine. But the moment he leaves the courtyard, his head is spinning. 

He’s too stubborn to turn back, though, not while his one rule is being broken. Is that how Lan QiRen feels all the time?

Xiao always wakes up around this time, and as expected, of all the silent rooms, one has its lights on. He clings onto the posts on the path, his vision blacking out from the pain every few seconds. He takes a few steadying breaths and pushes forward. 

He’s no more than ten feet from the room, but his feet won’t carry him any further, no matter how hard he tries. Blood spills from his lips and he clutches desperately to the post to keep from falling despite how much it hurts his arms. Have to… stop him … not fair…

Before he knows it, he’s slipping down the post, hitting the ground with quite an obvious thump, and once he’s down, he can’t find the strength to get up again.

As expected, he hears his son crawling towards the door when “Lan QiRen” slides open the door. It isn’t him at all. It’s Lan XiChen, who is allowed to watch Xiao. Wei WuXian sighs deeply, resting his head against the ground. “End my suffering, Zewu-jun.”

“Young Master Wei… what happened?” He’s just as strong as Lan WangJi, but not quite as gentle as he helps Wei WuXian into a sitting position.  “You should be resting.”

“I know, but I–“

“How did you escape WangJi’s supervision?” 

“Aha!!” There’s Lan QiRen! He was here after all! “Because… because of you !”

“Young Master Wei…”

“Let him speak.” Lan XiChen bends down to pick up Xiao, who poked his head out of the room. “Otherwise he never will be able to rest.”

And so Lan QiRen shuts up for once, waiting for Wei WuXian to summon the strength to speak. “Why…”

“Why, what?”

“Why… do you… hate me so much?” He coughs, and he tries to clutch at his chest but can no longer move his arms. “What would I have to do to- to— agh…” He slams his fist against the ground despite the extreme pain and raises his voice, “You tolerated me when I first came here, so what changed? Do I have to die for you not to hate me anymore??” 

Because of his unpleasant tone that Xiao has never heard in his near six months, he becomes upset and starts to cry, which wakes their neighbors. Everyone stays by their doors, giving them their space, but there is definitely an audience now.

“It is part of our principal not to hate anyone.” Lan QiRen opens his pocket and passes Lan XiChen a hankerchief for Wei WuXian. “I will admit that, during your time as the YiLing Patriarch, I was unable to follow those rules.”

“I figured as much.” Wei WuXian scoffs, calming his expression so that Xiao won’t be alarmed while Lan XiChen helps him clean up.

“But when WangJi returned with you, when he said, just as his father once did, that he intended to stay with you for all of his life, that he was willing to leave the Sect if anyone tried to interfere with that… what could I do? Lecture him against marrying when he’d already married?” After a moment of hesitation, Lan QiRen sits nearby, and to Wei WuXian’s surprise, Xiao crawls right up to him. “But when I was told that you two were having a child, I will also admit that a bitterness towards you surfaced within me, and that perhaps it was… wrong.” After exchanging a look with Lan XiChen, he exclaims, “It was wrong! What I said to you that day was not called for. But what you did after that child’s birth was just as wrong.”

“You’re the one that put up rules against me!”

“As if the rules ever mattered to you, before. You try your best to break each and every one—”

“And you have broken mine. I forbade you from seeing my son, and you deliberately—”

Lan XiChen clears his throat, holding up a hand to silence the two of them. “I am using my authority as leader of this clan to order for two things. Uncle, you will remove the rules about Wei WuXian from the wall. In return, you, Wei WuXian, will allow Uncle to visit with the baby and… I don’t know… try your best to abide by the rules when within the confines of the Cloud Recesses. But until we return, before anything else, you must not get out of bed again until you are much more healed than this. If WangJi knew you were out here in this cold, night air, he would—”
“He knows.” Lan WangJi states, hoisting Wei WuXian off his feet before he could agree to Lan XiChen’s conditions. From then on, he’s never left unsupervised.

***

There’s a crispness to the air when the members of the GusuLan Sect depart from Yunmeng. Wei WuXian has regained usage of his right arm, and his head doesn’t hurt anymore, but there’s still scarring on the side of his face. He hugs Xiao close to him with his good arm and tries to behave himself on the long trip home in the company of both very good and very unpleasant people. 

Jiang Cheng did not go out to bid them farewell, but Wei WuXian attributed it to sleeping in and did not suspect anything else. 

After they had been on the water for quite a while, the seven of them ceased speaking to one another and rested in silence, until surprisingly, Lan QiRen said to Wei WuXian, “I have always found the area around Lotus Pier to be quite beautiful.”

Wei WuXian gazes out at the water and nods. “Yeah, me too. Sometimes it’s hard for me to decide which is prettier, here or home…”

The juniors look at him hopefully, but Lan WangJi simply smiles and squeezes his hand. 

When they approach the shores of Gusu, Wei WuXian can see that they have a small welcoming party; two very unlikely companions: Wen Ning and Song Lan. They have nothing in common, as far as Wei WuXian is concerned, but they both are fierce corpses, and he has occasionally passed through, so it makes sense that Wen Ning would have encountered him at some point. But how did they know that today would be Wei WuXian’s return?

“Young Master Wei!” Wen Ning helps tie off the boat, Song Lan lingering behind him. “A-Yuan told me you were returning, and I just ran into Song Lan on my way here, and I told him about the new baby…”

Wei WuXian is helped to his feet, which makes Wen Ning notice his injuries. “What happened to you, Young Master Wei?”

“Tree climbing.” Lan WangJi answers for him. Xiao’s easily doubled in size since the last time he saw him. 

“But I’ll be fine. Just a broken arm; but that’ll heal in no time.” He salutes to Song Lan. “It’s been a long time. How are you?”

“Well, thank you.”

“Oh! I should tell you, Song Lan, I hope you don’t mind, but… we named our son—”
“Xiao, yes… Wen Ning told me.” There’s a fondness in Song Lan’s expression. “Xiao Xingchen would have been honored.”

Lan QiRen stands there, wide-eyed as he realizes that Wei WuXian has unintentionally given away the child’s name right in front of him, as if he meant to tell him as well. 

***

Two weeks later, Gusu and the surrounding areas hold their usual Harvest festivities, but this year will be a little different for the GusuLan Sect. This year, they have a little more to celebrate than usual. 

There is a banquet, of course, because that is just how the GusuLan Sect is. But for Wei WuXian, the food choices are a bit different than everyone else’s. Sure, he’s still offered the same foods (in smaller portions), but to his surprise, the sweet aroma of spices breaks through the medicinal scents when a servant sets down a few other bowls in front of Wei WuXian. And most surprisingly, Lan QiRen doesn’t look upset about it at all, almost as if he had orchestrated it himself. They’ve gotten along alright in the past two weeks, but without much conversation since Wei WuXian’s been recovering. There is a small gap on the wall where the rules against him used to be.

After the banquet, many travel down into Gusu for the continuing festivities. When the sun goes down, the sky is illuminated by painted lanterns that the juniors and many of the townspeople have launched, and with their son, Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian launch the final lantern, which, in their unbiased opinion, soars far higher than the rest.

Somewhere in Yunmeng, that lantern is mistaken for a new, blooming star.

Chapter Text

18 months later

He expected something a bit fancier due to the fact that Lan WangJi actually lives here for part of the year, (the spring and some of the summer), but the house that he and Lan XiChen funded to be built is surprisingly plain. It is just outside Gusu and much colder than Yunmeng, which would have been a much better place to settle, but of course no one asked for his opinion on the matter. There are flowers surrounding the front, despite the melting snow on the ground, they bloom today because Wei Wuxian wants them to. He trips on the walk up the path and picks up a small stuffed animal and shakes his head. 

The nearby field is still barren, for the ground is frozen and it would be no use to start vegetables this early. But last year, a large crate of fresh, very large vegetables was delivered to Lotus Pier, so he must have had decent success, enough to give such an amount to others. He heard that the LanlingJin Sect received a similar donation, and the QingheNie Sect too. The field is quite large. For a family of three, it would probably solely feed them for a year or two if preserved properly, and Wei WuXian isn’t that big of a fan of vegetables.  

There are rabbits, just a few, nothing like the amount at the Cloud Recesses, hopping around in an enclosed area nearby, but these rabbits are all gray, save for one white one which must have been taken from the original bunch, and one black one.

He counts at least ten, plus one little boy trying to keep them all in line, a large carrot in his hand being used as his prodding staff. “No hoppin’! Stay here, Gēgē!” Frowning deeply, he lifts one of the rabbits upside down and plops it back into its place. Jiang Cheng leans on the fence, shaking his head. “Your baba^[1], let’s you treat his rabbits so poorly? You should be gentle.” 

“They my bunnies.” The boy replies defiantly, though he still hides behind the post a little bit, big, golden eyes peering up at the stranger in curiosity. 

“If you aren’t careful, your bunnies will all die. Don’t shake them or hold them upside down. Now, where’s your—”

After pouting for a few seconds during the stranger’s lecture, he shrieks, “ Baba !”

In an instant, Wei WuXian seems to have appeared from nowhere, flour on his pants— no robes, though that probably doesn’t matter here— and for a split second until he recognizes the visitor, he almost looks hostile. “Hahaha, Jiang Cheng, what a surprise!” He scoops up Xiào into his arms and kisses his cheeks. “What are you crying for, little rabbit? Did Sect Leader Jiang scare you? I’ll beat him up…” It is clear to see that Wei WuXian hasn’t matured very much in parenthood thus far, and doesn’t make the wisest choices, but this child does seem very attached to him judging by the way he clings to him now. 

“I told him to stop trying to kill his rabbits. Why did you leave him out here by himself?”

Wei WuXian laughs. “You sound like Lan Zhan. It’s not like he can get out of this enclosure, and the rabbits aren’t going to hurt him. I was just trying to put bread in the oven, just behind the house. I could see him.” 

Still, Jiang Cheng is unconvinced.

“Jiang Cheng, it’s safe out here. Don’t be such a mother hen.”

“I’m just glad you haven’t continued to reproduce.”

Wei WuXian gives him a smug look, but says nothing to counter that. “Anyway, why are you here? I haven’t heard from you in forever.”

“You invited everyone else to see the place. Am I not allowed to see what I paid for?”

“It’s not that,” he laughs. “It’s that you never came before. If you wanted to see it in good shape, you should’ve come during last summer, when everything was in bloom.”

“Well I’m here now, so that doesn’t matter. Show me around. Are you proud of this shabby little place? Why did I give you so much money, again?”

“Oh, hush! I’m mostly proud of the garden. You really should come during the warmer months, it looks great, then. Did you get the vegetables I sent? They were the biggest ones! Xiào’s favorites were the carrots, but I preferred the potatoes. When you boil them with butter, they’re like heaven.”

Jiang Cheng follows him through the back door, into the main room. It’s not too crammed, and aside from the mess of flour in the kitchen area, it is surprisingly clean. Unsurprisingly, it is designed in a distinct mixture of the Gusu and Yunmeng styles. There is a door leading to a small room, but Jiang Cheng certainly doesn’t want to see the mess behind that door. “Wait. Are you here because of Xiào’s birthday? I’m such an idiot…” Wei WuXian shakes his head. “My brain’s been awfully scattered these past few weeks. He doesn’t turn two until tomorrow, you know.”

“I do know. And great job for taking that long to figure it out. I just wanted to show up before the rest of the crowd does.”

“Oh.” 

Xiào grabs a cracker from the table and munches on it thoughtfully as he leans back against Wei WuXian, humming a vaguely recognizable tune. “When you didn’t come last year, I assumed you forgot the deal we’d made.”

“Deal, what deal?”

“That you wanted him on birthdays and the summers!”

“Then why didn’t you bring him, if you remembered?”

“You hadn’t written to us. I was starting to think you didn’t want anything to do with us anymore. Besides, the banquets at the Cloud Recesses aren’t so bad anymore. They would probably be upset if we didn’t bring him to visit tomorrow, Lan QiRen especially. You should come with us!"

“Hah. As if. Where’s Lan WangJi anyway?”

“He had to stay back to help with some things, but he’ll be coming back here with us after Xiào’s birthday. Sometimes, he stays for a week or two at a time. It doesn’t bother me, I can handle things on my own. On his sword, it takes no time at all to get there, so..”

“Firsty…” Xiào interrupts, tugging on the front of Wei WuXian’s robe. “Drink, Baba?”

He nods and holds a cup to Xiào’s lips. The kid drinks just as messily as Wei WuXian has always done. “The sweetest boy I’ve yet to meet.” When a little bit of water dribbles onto his chin, Wei WuXian is quick to wipe it away and then kisses his cheek again. “All done?”

“You want?” He pushes the cup towards Jiang Cheng with a smile. 

“No, not after you’ve drank from it.” The cup is pushed away, and again, Xiào’s eyes well up with tears, startling Jiang Cheng. “Why is he so sensitive??”

“Have you met his father? He tries to be nice, but he is still shy. He’s not used to being around such mean people, he’s never been met with anything but a smile in his whole life. As he should.”

“You spoil him too much.”

“Maybe. But no one is going to stop me from spoiling him, because everyone else spoils him too. Say, why the long face? You came all the way here to see us, now you’re acting like this. Were you expecting two more nephews? A bigger house? I’m the son of a servant, you can’t expect much better than that.”

“It’s not that, it’s—”

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei WuXian places his hand over Jiang Cheng’s, “I’m… really happy here. You don’t need to worry about me anymore, and if you don’t want to visit Xiào, then don’t. We’re doing just fine out here on our own.”

Jiang Cheng frowns, almost scowls. “This little bubble of yours won’t last.”

“So let me enjoy it today. Tomorrow’s never promised, although his better be or I’ll fight Death itself.” Another half dozen kisses onto his son’s face and Jiang Cheng gathers that Wei WuXian loves this child very much. “You remember Song Lan? He stopped by the other day. Xiao Xingchen’s spirit is healing a hundred times more rapidly. Maybe my son will get to meet him someday. It would be quite an honor.”

"I'm sure he's glad about that."

Xiào climbs off of Wei WuXian's lap and walks across the room to the bedroom door. He tugs a stuffed bunny from the bed with a missing eye and runs over to Jiang Cheng. “Bǎobǎo!"^[2]

“And what about that Wen? You let your child around him?” Jiang Cheng ignores the child, which results in Xiào pouting and walking back towards the bedroom. 

“Yes, SiZhui and him spend a lot of time together, so we see him often. Wen Ning is safe. There’s no way for him to hurt this child or anyone else unless he actually wanted to, which he doesn’t. I’m more dangerous than he is.” 

“Baba, where is Apple?” Xiào is now carrying an armful of stuffed animals, but none of them are “Apple”, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t see why he has so many toys for such a little fellow. 

“I think you left him by the potty, didn’t you? You put him in there. He’s probably smelly. I told you that your father won that for me and you still dropped it in there.”

“Oh.” He sits beside Jiang Cheng and starts stacking his toys on the table, naming each one, and Jiang Cheng has to pretend to be somewhat interested or the little brat will start crying. There are at least ten on the table of various sizes. “Is this your life now, Wei WuXian? Buying toys for him because it’s not socially acceptable to have them yourself?”

“Yes, it’s my life. Wait until you see what he’s getting for his birthday!” He grins mischievously and nods towards the stuffed kitten.

“What, so dogs are forbidden and frightening, but you’ll spoil him with—”
“Shhhh… I don’t want him to know!” And Wei WuXian looks so delighted about the surprise that Jiang Cheng decides not to spoil it for the kid, who will undoubtedly be very excited. But if what he does with the rabbits is any evidence on how he treats animals, the poor kitten will not live a long life. 

He stays through lunch, watching the kid munch on apple slices like a little rabbit and grow increasingly drowsy. He watches Wei WuXian prepare Xiào for his nap and tuck him in and is quite assured that despite his abysmal cooking skills, his nephew is being taken care of quite well and he won’t be needed any further.

He attends the celebration the following day, anyway. 

The banquet still follows the guidelines for the Lan Sect, but it’s undeniable that changes have been made in the past two years. The food is actually edible. Xiào sits on Lan QiRen’s lap after he’s done eating, all smiles, and his smile is always returned. 

He watches the fireworks display with fascination, just as the people in Gusu are. They wonder why a strict sect such as the Lan’s throw such large celebrations every year, why leaders from all the prominent clans nearby are always in attendance. When Xiào’s older, the celebrations will only grow larger, but is it unheard of for a child as lovely as he, born of two famous cultivators of two prominent clans, to be loved by so many? 

In the summers, he alternates between his cottage in the forest with Wei WuXian, and Yunmeng, where he learns to tolerate spice and develop a love for lotus rib soup and softens the heart of his most doting uncle, who will eventually have a family of his own. In the fall, he studies under Lan QiRen, who still sparks fear in the hearts of the Juniors but couldn’t fathom making an unpleasant tone during the boy, and the highlights of his winters are staying over at his Uncle XiChen’s building snow people and hearing stories of his father’s childhood and the clan’s history.

But his favorite time of year is the spring, when his parents take him to the cottage. With their undivided attention, he becomes quite the scholar, the artist, the musician, the gardener, the philosopher, and all they could have ever hoped for in a son. Wei WuXian tells him plenty of stories, plays with him in the blossoming meadows, teaches him to fish and to make things grow from the earth. Lan WangJi spoils him dearly, but he never felt prouder than he did the day he saw his son wear the sect’s forehead ribbon for the first time. They can play quite interesting duets on the guqin. When his older brother visits (he’s grown up now and goes on many exciting Night-Hunts with his friends) he teaches him games and promises he will grow taller if planted alongside the radishes. 

Wei WuXian still has nightmares. When it’s just him and Xiào at the cottage, it’s more noticeable. Wei WuXian will just get up in the middle of the night, and if Xiào wakes, too, he’ll say, “Go back to sleep, my little rabbit.” But Xiào is very receptive to other people’s emotions. And after all, his father made him promise to take care of Wei WuXian while he was gone. So Xiào crawls into Wei WuXian’s arms and snuggles into him. “Father says nightmares aren’t real.”

He would never know that the subject of Wei WuXian’s nightmares very much were, but Wei WuXian smiles anyway and kisses his hair. “That’s right. How did I get so lucky to have such a sweet kid? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Xiào smiles up at him, just the image of Lan WangJi. “Father will be home tomorrow.”

“I know.” Wei WuXian yawns, lightly pinching his cheek. “Why do you bring it up?”

“Cause…” He yawns, too, “I dreamed Father was a dream fighter guy.”

“Dream fighter guy? What does that mean, silly boy?”
“He could fight off the bad dreams. He has a sword. He could probably cut them right in half or scare ‘em so bad that they never come back!”

“Mm… that sounds like a great idea. You should tell him about that tomorrow.”

“Okay…” After another moment, he asks, “Why does Father have to go to our other house when we’re not there?”

“It’s his job. He’s still needed there, almost as much as he’s needed here. But it’s not so bad when it’s just me and you here, right?”

“It’s fun. ‘Specially ‘cause you let me have candy sometimes… oops! I promise I won’t say that around Father.”
Wei WuXian laughs, but then his face turns serious. “I was supposed to wait to tell you this, but I think now is a good time.”

“Are we going to a whole world made of candy??”

“No, Xiào, this is a bit more serious. Ah… you see… pretty soon, during the times that Father goes away to help Uncle, it’s not going to be just me and you here.”

“Is Brother gonna stay with us?”

“Haha… I wish! But you know he’s busy most of the time.” He takes Xiào’s hands in his. “What I meant was… hmm… how do I— ah, you remember Lan Zhi, that little boy you always play with at our other house?”

“He has a baby brother now.” Xiào informs him. 

“Yes, that’s why I brought him up. So—”

“He doesn’t wanna play anymore.” Spawling out, Xiào sighs deeply, as if he holds the weight of the world on his four year old shoulders. “I wish I had a little brother too, but Uncle says I am the baby brother, but that doesn’t count ‘cause Brother doesn’t even live here.” 

He strokes Xiào’s long, inky hair and smiles gently. “You wait a few more months, little rabbit, and you’ll get your wish. Now, go to sleep, it’s far past nine, isn’t it?” Stifling another yawn, his nightmare already forgotten, Wei WuXian lies down again and closes his eyes. Xiào snuggles in beside him under the covers and closes his eyes, then immediately opens them. “Wait...I’m gonna get a new brother?”

Chapter Text

Mornings start early at the Cloud Recesses, much earlier than they do at the country house, or at Lotus Pier. Everyone’s up before the sun, running about their morning routines despite the bitter cold. It’s something Xiao should be used to by now, but every time he’s nudged awake at five a.m., he wants to burst into tears. It’s too cold, he’s too tired, and it doesn’t make sense to stay awake when the sun isn’t. If Wei WuXian was around, he’d let him sleep in a little later alongside him, but as he’s now in the care of his uncle, he doesn’t have such freedom. 

Rolling out of bed, he joins his uncle and older brother at the table, eyes still shut as his breakfast is set in front of him. 

“Another snowstorm came through last night.” Lan SiZhui nudges Xiao to keep him awake. How does he have so much energy at five o’clock in the morning? 

“It’s been a rather harsh winter already, hasn’t it?” Lan XiChen looks out the window. “I suppose the juniors will want to stay indoors today.” 

“On the contrary, Zewu-jun, I think they’ll feel quite the opposite. I’ve heard a few talking about sledding already.” 

One word in particular causes Xiao's ears to perk up. “Sledding? Uncle! Let’s go sledding with them!”

“Little brother...” Lan SiZhui smiles and pats his head. “Zewu-jun is too busy for sledding, and you have your lessons this morning with—”

“Grand Uncle, I know.” He rests a hand against his cheek and blows out a breath. 

Lan SiZhui knows how he feels, but as he is no longer a junior and the room for such behavior is gone, he cannot say anything other than something adult-ish. “Eat your oatmeal, little brother.” 

***

After helping Lan SiZhui with the breakfast dishes, he is taken over to Grand Uncle for his lessons. Normally, he enjoys his time with Lan QiRen, because he’s curious by nature and wants to know all about the world. But no more than twenty minutes into his lessons, Lan QiRen gives up on today’s reading. “Go on, then.”
“Huh?” he looks up. “Oh, this passage says—”
“No, go outside. Don’t go where I can’t see you.”

“Yes, Grand Uncle!” He’s out the door in a flash, still tugging on his coat while he runs down the pebbled past towards the rest of the children and juniors. He’s the youngest here, save for his own sister and twin girls who can hardly walk, which does pose as a disadvantage on occasion. But there’s no way he will be told he’s too young to sled like everyone else. He joins the line, where children in pairs go flying down the hill on their makeshift sleds. He didn’t bring one, but Lan Zhi is bound to share; during this half of the year, they’re the best of friends, after all. 

But today it becomes apparent that their friendship is only valid when there aren’t older kids around. Because today, their two year age gap makes a big difference, and Lan Zhi tells him that he will not share his sled because Xiao is too little. “You should go play with the babies .” Lan Zhi pointed to a nearby home where a mother and two small girls, perhaps only a year old, were seated in the snow.

“What? I’m not a baby!”

“It’s your turn. Hurry up, Zhi!” An older boy nudged Lan Zhi onward, leaving Xiao to sulk over his sudden loss of friendship. Fists clenched at his side, he kicks a pile of snow that was intended to be a snowman and stalks off in the opposite direction, further enraged by the other children’s laughter. He sits on the porch of Lan XiChen’s residence because he has nowhere else to go and crosses his arms. If only Wei WuXian was able to join him in the snow, like he did last winter, when they spent an entire afternoon sledding on the fastest sled in the whole Cloud Recesses, when they won three whole races. But now, now he…

“You aren’t going to play with the other children?” Lan XiChen had at some point opened the front door but waited until now to say something.

Xiao shrugs his shoulders, too embarrassed to admit that no one wanted to play with him.

“You know… don’t those rabbits need to be fed? I’m sure everyone forgot to feed them today. They must be quite hungry.”

“Father says I can’t go by my own.” 

“I haven’t been down to the rabbit’s enclosure in quite some time. I think… someone told me that a new litter of bunnies were born earlier this year? No one ever introduced them to me.”

Xiao glances back at him, “I could… I could show you?”

“Would you? I wouldn’t know how to get there on my own.”

.

Xiao jogs lightly to keep up with his uncle’s wide strides through the snow-covered Cloud Recesses, his cloak dragging against the ground and leaving patterns in the snow. “Uncle, Baba says that snowflakes are tiny fairies tired from a long flight. Do you think it hurts them when we step on them?”

Lan XiChen smiles and shakes his head. “No, otherwise they would’ve landed someplace else. Shall I carry you? You look tired already.”

“I’m too big to be carried, Uncle. I’m almost five!”

“Almost five is still four.” He offers Xiao his hand so that they can walk at the same pace. 

“Uncle, will the rabbits be alright in the snow?”

“Of course, they’ve seen many snow’s before. They’re quite used to it.” He lifts Xiao over the enclosure so he can check the rabbits and feed them. He kicks a bit of snow over a still rabbit, not wanting Xiao to see it. 

“I like the warm times better. Swimming with Uncle Jiang in Yunmeng is much more funner.” 

“It’s fun, not funner, Xiao. And yes, it is fun to swim, but there is plenty of beauty in the cold months, too. We should not forget about it. Every part of the year is important. Each season has its own role, and without winter, we—"

“Look, Uncle, I can blend into the snow with my robes!” Having completely ignored him, Xiao lays back in the snow and closes his eyes, covering them for good measure. “You can’t see me, right?”
“Right, you’ve disappeared. Where have you gone?” 

“Come find me, Uncle!” 

Normally, their robes aren’t to be wet under any circumstances, but Lan XiChen hasn’t thought about enforcing rules that would inhibit his play unless it is in front of the rest of the sect. Since it has snowed so much, hardly anyone is outside anyway. He looks around the enclosure, pretending to be confused. “Now where did that little boy go? He was just here a moment ago. Is he hiding… here?” He scoops Xiao into his arms, causing the boy to erupt in shrieks and giggles. “How did you find me?” 

“Because you were squirming around, silly boy!” Their attention shifts to the juniors who have made their own sleds and go rushing down a nearby hill. Xiao cranes his neck to see. 

“Xiao, why didn’t you play with the other children earlier?”

He makes a face. “They didn’t wanna share a sled with me.” Gathering one of the passing rabbits into his arms, he adds, “This is one of the baby ones. Her name is Kiwi.”

“Kiwi?”

“Uh-huh. Baba named her.”

“What’s this one’s name?” He points to the rabbit that’s approaching them; just slightly smaller than Kiwi. 

“Guess.”

“Hmm… how about Plum?”
Xiao giggles. “No. Guess.”
“Goji?”
“Guess!”

“I really don’t know. You and your parents come up with the most obscure names, I—”
“His name is Guess! Hahaha…” He leans back against Lan XiChen, his laughter reminding him greatly of Wei WuXian. Had it not been for his shyness, his personality would be completely the opposite of Lan WangJi's was as a child.

“So, the children didn’t want to play with you?”

“Lan Zhi called me a baby. He doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore.”

“Well, Xiao, that hill is too steep for you. Perhaps we could find another one? There’s a hill by your house that would probably be fun. Shall we try it?”

“Mn! Will you sled with me?”

“I’m not certain I’d fit on your sled. I might break it.”

“Oh.” Xiao reaches up and holds his uncle’s hand tightly once the two have exited the rabbit enclosure. “Father said he got lost in the woods when he was little. He said I have to promise to never run off in the woods ‘cause it’s dangerous…”

“And you must listen to him.”

“Yes Uncle, but… the Cloud Recesses is safe, even if I get lost, right?”

“There aren’t any wild beasts, but… the cold can be dangerous if you are out in it for too long.”

“That’s why Father makes me wear so much heavy stuff? To stay really warm?”

“Yes, of course.” 

“And Little Sister isn’t even allowed outside yet. Why not?”

“Babies don’t take to the cold very well.” They arrive at the cottage, and Lan XiChen tugs the sled from the side of the house that Wei WuXian made for him. “She’ll be able to play next winter.” 

Xiao is quiet for a while, but eventually he asks, “Why come nobody likes me here?”

Lan XiChen stops in his tracks and looks down at his nephew, who is waiting with sadness in his big round eyes. Incorrect grammar and all, it's one of the most heartbreaking questions he's ever heard a child ask. He's made great effort over the past four years to make sure such a question would never be asked, and yet here it is anyway. “That’s not true. It’s not easy being one of the younger children, but that doesn’t mean no one likes you.”

He isn’t convinced and his expression shows it. “I don’t know anybody who likes me. Everyone always says, ‘be quiet’, ‘go away’, ‘you’re too little!’ Nobody ever says anything nice.”

“Well, if it means anything, I like you, and so does Grand Uncle and SiZhui and your parents.”

“That’s cause you’re family and you all have to like me.”

“Is that what you think? Nobody has to do anything against their own will. I would like you even if we weren’t related, because you’re a good kid. And you don’t deserve to think that way about yourself.”

His shoulders are slumped, bottom lip poking out, and it’s hard not to smile. “And you know… there are other children around in Gusu. Once the weather’s nicer, I’m sure you could find plenty of children to play with. Not to mention all the ones at Lotus Pier… and even Lan Zhi. I know he doesn’t want to play right now, but the older children will eventually tell him that he’s too young for something, and then he’ll certainly come back.”

“How do you know?”

“It was like that for me and your father. But after the older children rejected me, I realized that I didn’t have to stay around them. I had a little brother who was a much better playmate who needed a friend just as much as I did.”

“My sister’s too little to play.” Xiao points out as he continues to trudge through the snow. 

“That is true, but that wasn’t the point. You’ll find friends someday, Xiao. And they might not be boys, either. Keep an open mind and an open heart, and you’ll see.”

.

As expected, the hill by the cottage isn’t very steep. He positions the sled for Xiao, adding, “I’ll be right here. When you get to the bottom, come back up with the sled and I’ll give it a try. Okay?”

“Yeah! Give me a push?”

“Ready?” Lan XiChen pushes him and watches him slide down the small hill, just out of sight past a thicket. Xiao’s laughter stops. He is quiet for a moment, and doesn’t go running up the hill. 

“Xiao?”

“Uncle! Help!”

He couldn’t have gotten hurt on such a small hill. (If he did, Lan WangJi would undoubtedly never forgive him, and Wei WuXian would kill him). His cries give Lan XiChen a sense of danger. Forgetting anything else, he runs— and slides— down the side of the hill to get to his nephew. 

He finds a small child in the thicket, hardly alive and half-buried in the snow. 

***

“There you are, little rabbit.” Wei WuXian covers his cheeks in kisses. “Where have you been?”

“Uncle and I found somebody hidin’ in the forest.” He removes his snow covered boots at the door and places them neatly beside Lan WangJi’s at the door, hugs Lan WangJi quickly and then takes his usual seat at the table. 

“You and your imagination, Lan Xiao. You’re such a silly boy.”

“It was real, Baba.”

“The barrier of the Cloud Recesses is quite strong, Xiao. No one, let alone a child, could get in and out so freely. Believe me, I’ve tried. Hey, eat your vegetables first. No picking.”

“It was real!” 

All Lan WangJi has to do is look up at him for Xiao to drop the subject. He knows that his parents will find out soon, and how silly will they feel for calling him wrong! He sits up properly and finishes his vegetables as asked, and then asks for more because he knows it’ll please his parents. Just before Wei WuXian is about to praise him, the baby starts crying in the other room, making him lose his train of thought. 

“Baba…”

“Mm? Speech is forbidden while dining.” Wei WuXian says with his mouth full, smirking in the direction of Lan WangJi. Standing in the doorframe with the tiny white bundle in his arms, he almost looks amused. 

“When are you gonna come outside again? There’s so much snow, and nobody wants to sled with me.”

“I thought I saw Uncle XiChen with you earlier?”

“Yeah, he was gonna sled, but then we found the kid in the woods. Lan Zhi said I was too little to sled with the big kids and—“

“You keep bringing up this… this person in the woods. You swear that it’s real?”

“It is! I promise.”

Wei WuXian takes another bite and chews thoughtfully, nodding to himself. “Were they alive?”

“I saw them breathin’.”

“And this was right behind our house?”

“Yeah…”

“What the hell… I hope the parents are found soon. Xiao, why didn’t you tell us sooner? I’m on bed rest, not in seclusion.”

“Wei Ying, he is not yet five years old.” Lan WangJi reminds him, still in the doorway. Moving even the slightest means crying.

“Still! Xiao, you must always tell us when something scary like that happens.”

“You said it was my… my… imanation.”

“You mean imagination? Haha...maybe I should’ve trusted you. But it is unusual… huh. I wonder if any children in Gusu have gone missing recently.”

“Not that I have heard of.” Lan WangJi says. Once the baby’s quiet, he returns to the table where the three of them finish dinner in silence. As Lan WangJi clears the dishes, Xiao realizes that someone has been missing. “Where’s Brother?” 

“I’m not sure. He must’ve been busy.”

Since the baby was born and due to the many complications that occurred because of her birth, Xiao spends a lot of nights at either Lan SiZhui’s or Lan XiChen’s residences, to make it easier on his parents. He still spends the afternoons and evenings with his parents, but nobody comes to get him today. Had their newest addition not have needed so much extra care and attention, with Wei WuXian limited to his bed and the dinner table, they wouldn’t have needed the extra help. And Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian really do prefer their independence when it comes to such things, which has made the past six weeks rather frustrating for both of them. Wei WuXian has to remind himself several times a day that his stitches are almost heal and that it’s only a matter of time before he can take care of things on his own. 

It’s close to curfew and there’s still no sign of anyone, which Wei WuXian attributes to the missing child they found in the woods. “Alright, kiddo, hop up onto this bed. I guess you’re bunking with us tonight.” 

At first, he was happy to finally be able to sleep in his own house again, but being woken up every two hours or so by crying did nothing for him. He covers his ears and tries to sleep that way, but by five that next morning he is absolutely exhausted. Since nobody comes to pick him up that morning, he falls back asleep and no one tries to wake him up until it is already nearing noon, when his sister decides that he’s slept long enough.

This is primarily why he doesn’t sleep at home these days. It makes more sense for him to sleep somewhere quieter, and Lan SiZhui typically doesn’t mind bunking with him. Most mornings, he’s brought right back to the Bamboo Cottage after he wakes up and eats breakfast with his parents, but then there are occasions which he stays with Lan SiZhui for most of the day, or Lan XiChen if Lan SiZhui isn’t available. Today, neither are around. 

Curious as to what the situation was, Lan WangJi had left to investigate sometime in the late morning which left Wei WuXian alone with the two children for the first time, and he is on top of things. By the time Xiao wakes up, there’s a warm bath waiting for him and lunch is already prepared. How he managed to lug all the water into the house with his stitches is a mystery, but it doesn’t matter. The baby is unbothered in her cradle as she has decided to get some sleep in before her scheduled colic kicks in at dark. 

Today, his hair is pulled up into a tight bun atop his head the way he’s seen Uncle Jiang style his, and he’s wearing the purple and blue robes that he typically wears when visiting Lotus Pier. “Are we goin’ to Yunmeng?” He can’t help but to ask while he’s eating lunch. It’s not delicious, but he’s hungry enough to finish his bowl anyway. 

“No, you just didn’t have any clean things. You’ve grown out of a lot.”

“Then how come I’m still the smallest out of all the kids?”

“Because you take after Father. But once you hit fifteen or sixteen, you’ll spring right up.”

“Fifteen or sixteen…” He holds up his fingers to try and count, but he runs out of fingers before he can get there. “That’s… a long time, then?”
“Very.”

“Will I be taller than you?”

“That’s what I’m interested in finding out.” Wei WuXian tips his bowl up and drains it into his mouth. He hardly ever follows the rules of the Lan Sect, but Xiao would never tell on him for it. “I used to be a few inches taller.”

Once all the bowls are empty, Xiao clears the table and searches through one of the cupboards for the sweets stockpile that the two share when Lan WangJi isn’t around. Lan WangJi hates seeing Xiao with any sort of sweets. He spoils him with just about anything else, but anytime he catches candy in his son’s hands, he’ll take it from him without another word. That’s why Wei WuXian made him promise to never share the secret of the sweets stockpile. He takes out two pieces, one for himself and one for Wei WuXian, then places everything back where it was. Wei WuXian kisses his cheek as he accepts the candy. “You’re a good kid.”

He pops the candy in his mouth and saunters off towards the back porch.

“Where are you going?”
“I wanna sled.”

“You’re going to stay right on this hill?”
“Mmhm…”

“Alright, I’ll be watching from the window right here. You call for me if you need anything. Wait, are you wearing your cloak?”
“Of course! It’s really cold!”

“Put your gloves on too—” The door bangs shut, only to open two seconds later when Xiao hurries in to put his gloves on as asked. Wei WuXian shakes his head with a smile when he runs back out the door again. 

***

He’s just gone down the hill for the third time when Lan Zhi comes looking for him to play, as he often did back when they were friends. He brought his own sled, but since the stinging rejection from yesterday, he’s not inclined to share the hill. 

“What do you mean, you won’t share? You don’t own this hill!” 

“I don’t wanna play with you anymore.” Xiao says, looking down at the snow as he tugs his sled up the hill. “You said I was a baby!”

“I was just kiddin’.”

“You were not. You’re mean and my baba will be mad if he sees you here.”

“Mad? Why?”
“‘Cause- cause you’re not my friend anymore and he doesn’t like you!” He bunches a pile of snow into his hand and throws it as hard as he can at his former friend’s face, resulting in the older boy to shove Xiao backwards, sending him flying down the hill. He bumps his head on a tree, but he knows the only way he won’t get in trouble for throwing that snowball will be to cry. 

So he does, adding a bit more snow to his face for effect, and then Wei WuXian has thrown open the back door, using a plank as a makeshift sled to get to him quicker. Lan Zhi stands by, helpless, knowing that his testimony won’t stand the wrath of Wei WuXian. 

“What is it, baby? You promised you’d be careful… did you fall off your sled?” 

Once he sees that Lan Zhi has run off out of sight, he stops crying and snuggles into Wei WuXian. “Y-Yeah…”

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt?”

He sniffs. “Not hurt… I was just scared.”

“Yeah? Scared that you were going to get in trouble for throwing that snowball at little Zhi’s face?”

Xiao’s lip quivers, but before he can say anything or cry again, Wei WuXian boops his nose and slowly rises to his feet. “Right or not, you will probably have to apologize once Father finds out.” 

“No fun.”
“Ah-ah. It’s not about fun. You’re the son of Hanguang-jun, you know, you can’t go around throwing snowballs at people’s noses. It just doesn’t look good.”

“He was mean!”

“I know.” Wei WuXian stomps the snow off of his bare feet and goes into his room to check on the baby. “But you were also mean. You didn’t give him the chance to apologize or anything like that.” His voice echoes off the walls. Xiao is debating slipping out the door again. “When I was younger, I would probably do the same thing. But that doesn’t make it right. You should always do what’s right, okay? Xiao, are you listening?”

“Yes.” His hand is on the door. If he runs, Wei WuXian probably won’t be able to catch him, considering he doesn’t have shoes. It’s better than getting lectured over something Wei WuXian clearly knows nothing about. Was he there when Lan Zhi called him a baby? Was he there when Lan Zhi lied about it? No! And yet he still wants him to apologize, without even knowing the situation. And he just can’t. “Father says, ‘Do not make action until you understand the… the…”
“Situation? I understand it well. You got offended that your friend wouldn’t let you sled on a hill that was too big for you, basically punched him in the face, and then got pushed down a hill because of it. Xiao, it’s not like you to do such a thing, even when you’re upset.” 

His fists are clenched at his sides, but he still does a perfect salute and then walks out of the house again. He sits on the back porch and stares out at the snow for a while, trying to calm himself down without— heaven forbid— throwing a fit. 

Wei WuXian knows to give him his space when he’s upset. Just like him, the more Xiao is forced upon something (like apologizing), the less he will want to do it. He’ll do it on his own when he’s ready, no doubt. Because he’s a good kid, and half Lan at the very least. He’ll do what’s right, sooner or later. 

***

“So you just threw a snowball at him and it made his nose bleed? You must have thrown it very hard.” Lan SiZhui is busy preparing dinner for himself while his little brother sits on the counter beside him. “It couldn’t have been an accident.”

“Well… it wasn’t an accident. I was mad at him.” 

“It is in our principles not to cause harm to anyone.”

“So I broke the rules?”
“I’m afraid so.” 

“Then he broke the rules, too! He pushed me!”

“Little brother, that’s not how it works and you know it. Here, set the table for me. I’m sure Hanguang-jun and Senior Wei won’t mind if you eat with us tonight.” Frowning deeply, Xiao slides down from the counter and carries the bowls to the table. “Brother, why do you call them S...Senior Wei and- and Han-Han-gan-jun? Are you… not my brother?”
“No, we’re brothers. We’re not brothers like Hanguang-jun and Zewu-jun. We’re brothers like… like Uncle Jiang and Senior Wei are.”

Xiao tilts his head. “Why?” 

“Because… because Uncle Jiang and Senior Wei have different moms and dads. When Senior Wei was little, Uncle Jiang’s father adopted him because his own parents were dead. And when I was little, Senior Wei and Hanguang-jun adopted me . But since I had other parents, I wouldn’t call your parents the same names.”

“Oh.” After a pause, he asks, “Why is Baba called Senior Wei ? ‘Cause I’m Lan Xiao and you’re Lan SiZhui and Father is Lan Zhan—” (Lan SiZhui stifles a laugh, realizing that Xiao doesn’t know any better, being that Wei WuXian has never referred to Lan WangJi by Lan WangJi). 

“You have to be born into this family to go by Lan, usually.”

“Mn… one more question, Brother?”
“Sure, anything.”

“Was the kid me and Uncle found a Lan too?”

“We don’t think so. She’s doing much better today, you know… had it not been for your friend Zhi not letting you sled, it may have been days until we found her there. So it’s really thanks to you that she’s alive now.”

“What’s her name?”

“We don’t know. She’s only about your age and doesn’t talk much.”

“Can I see her?”

“Hmm… I don’t know. She’s got a cold and I don’t know if your parents would want you around her. You could get sick, and then get the baby sick too…”

“Can’t I just peak through the window?”

“Hmm… eat dinner first, and I will think about it.”

.

After dinner, the two of them visit Lan XiChen’s residence, where the little girl has been kept so far. The infirmary is no place for a sick child and Lan XiChen has taken it upon himself to supervise her recovery and the finding of her parents. A normal child who is separated from their parents would call for them when she wakes up, but this little girl hasn’t said a word. It becomes apparent during her recovery that she has either become or always has been hard of hearing.

When Xiao peeks through the doorway at the little girl, he is filled with a sense of fascination. This child, with her snowy white skin and fair eyes, who appeared out of nowhere, could be one of the fairies that had fallen from the sky, just like Wei WuXian said! “Can… can I ask Uncle if I can visit her when she gets better?”

“Not tonight, little brother. He is very busy.”

“No he’s not! He’s just sitting there.” He whispers loudly. Lan XiChen opens an eye, causing Xiao to cover his mouth. “Oops.”

“Lan Xiao, come here.” But it isn’t Lan XiChen who speaks, but rather someone worse: Lan WangJi! He was in the room too, seated against the wall, which explains why they couldn’t see him. He shuffles into the room and stands in front of Lan WangJi. “Yeah?”

“Baba knows you’re here?”
“Kinda.”

“You’ve had dinner?”
“With Brother.”

“Since you are so curious about our guest, you may sit here. But do not run around.”

“Yes, Father!” Instead of sitting properly on the ground, he sits on Lan WangJi’s knee instead. “Father, what does deaf mean?”

“It means one cannot hear.” Despite the impropriety, Lan WangJi smooths over Xiao’s hair and starts to pull it into a braid.
“So she can’t hear anything at all?”
“Some things.”

“Then why do we haveta be quiet?” 

Lan XiChen reacts with a soft laugh, and even Lan WangJi cannot help but to smile. “I suppose you are right.”

“So it’s okay if I say something?”

“If you speak quietly.”
“Okay.” He looks up at Lan WangJi, then back at the ground. “Um… I did a bad thing today.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yeah. Zhi was being mean so I threw a snowball at him.” 

“Did you apologize?”

“No.”

“You will do it tomorrow? It would be the right thing to do.”

“...Okay.”

“Good.”

"Baba says 'sorry' is one of the hardest words to say, but it's not? You just go like this: sor-ry. How is that hard? The hardest word ever is... imanation."

"Imagination." Lan WangJi's eyes are practically sparkling from his amusement. Xiao's at the perfect age for conversations like this; he always wants to learn new things; he has an unbiased view on the world and hearing his interpretations on life are both entertaining and thought-provoking. He plants a kiss atop his son's head.

.

Xiao ended up falling asleep against Lan WangJi’s chest, and when he wakes up the following morning, Lan WangJi is still holding him there. The little girl is awake, propped up on pillows as she’s spoonfed by one of the servants. She eyes him curiously, almost forgetting to swallow by how intensely she stares. He waves at her and then climbs out of Lan WangJi’s lap. “I’m hungry.”
“Breakfast is in the other room. Go.” 

“Can I eat in here?”

“Mn.”

.

“The way she acts, you’d think she’s never seen another child before. She is fascinated in your son.” The doctor says when he comes in to make his rounds that afternoon. 

Lan XiChen smiles; the doctor is unfamiliar with their situation. “He isn’t my son; this is my nephew.”
“Ah. But it is true nonetheless!” 

While the men talk, Xiao approaches the bedside. “How old are you?”

The girl stares blankly back at him. “Oh, I forgot, you can’t hear too good. Uh…” he points to himself and holds up four fingers. “You?”

She holds up 5.

“5?” 

She nods, pointing to herself in a small, horse voice, she whispers, “Jia.”

He sits on the side of the bed, getting closer to hear her voice better. “Jia? I’m—“

“Xiao.” She smiles and nods towards Lan XiChen. “In the forest… I heard, ‘Xiao’... you hit me with your sled.” She keeps touching her ears, growing increasingly upset. “My ears hurt..." She’s crying now, her voice unsteady and strange sounding. Xiao becomes upset too as he realizes that when he found her, his sled had bumped into her. What if he caused this?

**8

At the house, Wei WuXian is doing just fine on his own, munching on yet another apple and having no concern for the outside world. After bursting through the front door, Xiao runs into his arms and cries. “I think I broke one of the snow fairies!” 

Wincing from the impact doesn’t affect his response. “Oh no. What did you do?”

“When I was sleddin’, I asidenally hit the girl under the bush? She’s a fairy! And now she can’t hear anything and it’s my fault!” 

“Slow down, slow down, kid. The little girl that you and Zewu-jun found isn’t a fairy. She’s just a little girl who got lost. And you didn’t hit her in the face, little love, her sickness caused her to lose her hearing.” Wei WuXian brushes his tears away with a thumb. “You went and saw her this morning, right?”

“Yeah…”

“What did you find out?”
“Her name’s Jia and she’s five.”

“See? If she’s only five and that big, she can’t possibly be a fairy. Fairies don’t get as big as her until they’re hundreds of years old.” 

“They don’t?”

“Nope. She’s just an ordinary girl. And I don’t think she was upset with you for bumping into her. If you hadn’t, you might not have seen her. And anyway, wouldn’t you be scared if you couldn’t hear anymore? Give her some space while she adjusts to all of this.”
“I’d be even more scared if I didn’t know where you and Father was at. That’s the scariest.”
“As long as you don’t run away, I don’t think you would ever be lost for very long. I would always come find you.” 

“Then why come Jia’s parents didn’t find her?”

“I’m not sure yet. But if they’re not sick themselves, they’re probably very worried.”

***

“Lan Zhan,” Wei WuXian whispers in the dark, long after everyone else has already gone to sleep that night. “That little girl… did she have a jade token on her?” 

“No.”

“Why would she come here? Has no one in Gusu talked about a missing child?”

“There have been no reports.”

“Either her parents are dead or they cast her aside.”

“...”

“All I’m saying is it’s unusual. She wasn’t dressed in rags like a homeless child would. In fact, it seemed as if she was from a relatively well-off family. If it were Xiao that’d gone missing, you, me, and everyone in the whole sect would turn the world upside down to find him. Is that not how any parent would react over a missing child?”

“Which is why I believe something must have happened to her parents.” 

“Mn… even if I was have dead, I wouldn’t stop looking for Xiao. So they can’t be alive, or if they are, they must be awful parents.”

“Not necessarily. We cannot assume much until the situation clears itself up.”

“It’s hard not to assume things in this situation. And it’s not every day that something so interesting happens around here, but of course it had to happen while I was on bedrest. I’d like to see her. See if, through Empathy, I can figure something out.”

“Not until you’re better.”

“So be it! I still want to try as soon as possible. Had it not been for yours, Jiang Cheng’s and the others’ generous donation, I never would think of overdoing myself. But I’m stronger than I used to be now. I can handle a little Empathy.” 

***

“If my wife finds out about her, then what am I supposed to do? She’ll kill me! Honest to god, she will!”

“I didn’t get myself pregnant!” 

“I am well aware!”

Jia was just three years old at that time. She had always lived in this small, wealthy household, but as nothing more than the daughter of a servant. It wasn’t until then that her mother approached the head of the household with the truth; that he was Jia’s father and also the father of her unborn child. At first, the head of the household, Young Master Li, wanted nothing to do with either of them. But when the girl’s mother, Third Lady Song Chen, passed away from childbirth, Young Master Li had no choice but to take in the girl. To avoid suspicion, he changed her surname to Tian and told his wife that he found her orphaned while traveling in an area recently ravaged by a night hunt, and reminded Jia that if she ever told anyone where she came from, he would send her away.

For the past two years she had lived with her father and step-mother alongside four older brothers who were very unkind to her. They were jealous of her better treatment by their parents, but as the youngest of the brothers was already twelve years old, they should’ve known better than to bully her so. 

A week ago, the family were passing through Gusu to visit relatives when Third Lady Song Chen’s oldest sister caught sight of Young Master Li and demanded to know the whereabouts of her younger sister and niece. His facade of befuddlement did not fool the woman for long, and it was unfortunately then that Madam Li discovered the details of her husband’s affair with the servant girl. He was greatly apologetic to her, and she pretended to believe him over the next few days. But one night, with her sons’ assistance, she decided to take revenge on his husband, take away the product of the affair and make him feel an ounce of the pain that she did. She pulled Jia from her bed in the middle of the night and told her oldest sons, who were almost grown men, to take her out into the woods and kill her, leave her for the wolves to gobble her up.

But when it came down to it, the oldest son couldn’t do it. He decided to fake her death and make it seem as if Jia had drowned instead. Her father never came looking for her, and she spent nearly three days wandering through the forest in search of her family, confused as to where she was or who would do this to her. 

Her second eldest brother caused her deafness in fear that if she was to hear her father calling for her, that she might respond.

Upon further investigation, Young Master Li died mysteriously just two days after his daughter went missing.

***

“Make no mistake, Sect Leader Lan, if I had the financial means, I would be more than willing to take her in.” Some days later when most of the snow has melted, Lan XiChen and Lan WangJi to the residence of her only known relative, Lady Song in Gusu. But her house is quite literally overflowing with children. They live in near-poverty since her husband had died some years before. “Her deafness would make things quite difficult for me, even if I did have the means to provide for her... But quite frankly, couldn’t your female disciples take her in?”

The two brothers sat down at a restaurant in Gusu with the little girl and Xiao to discuss the situation. “I do not think I would feel right leaving her at an orphanage, or to search for her step-mother.” Lan XiChen begins slowly. 

“Mn.”

“And I suppose it wouldn’t be a bad idea to leave her with the female disciples, but I…”

“You would likely not see her again.”

“Exactly so.” Lan XiChen watches the way Xiao tries to mimic his father’s every move, and he realizes that the strange emotion he feels every time he watches his brother’s and nephew’s interactions is something like longing. “It’s not my place to make decisions on where this child will stay…” 

“You are the sect leader.” Lan WangJi replies. “It would be proper for her to stay with the female disciples, but… she is still young. It would not be seen as strange for her to live with someone else until she is older.”

“Someone else?”

“She trusts you, Brother.” 

Lan XiChen looks awestruck. “Are you saying I should adopt her?”

“If you want to.”

Lan XiChen touches his forehead, wide-eyed. “I… I don’t know.”

“Are we gonna keep her? There’s no more room in our house!” Xiao nearly spills his water from pouring too much into his cup. “Am I gonna haveta share my trundle with her?”

“Speech is forbidden while dining.” Lan WangJi reminds him casually, shutting him up at once. 

The little girl watches Xiao for a while without touching her own plate, not seeming to be very hungry at all. “It will not be easy. I’m… I don’t know the first thing about raising a child.”
“Neither did I.” 

“Would it be right? Would she be better off with someone else, someone more capable?”

“I do not know. But she needs a home.” 

“I will discuss things with Uncle and some of the elders tonight. I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing.”

***

When the snow clears, Uncle Jiang and Jin Ling finally arrive for their visit to meet the new baby, but as it would turn out, they had another child to meet as well; a little girl who is introduced as Song Jia, “who will be staying with us for awhile”. In the future, she will be given the Lan surname, but for now, to Jiang Cheng, it feels like he is being swarmed by children. The new baby’s nice; she cries a lot but she is pretty and seems to function as a baby properly. He didn’t really come here just to see her, though. He and his nephew have developed quite the close relationship and his life isn’t quite as dreary with Xiao around. 

However, even with Jia to distract Lan XiChen, it is quite obvious that Jiang Cheng is invading on the time of year he usually spends with their nephew. He’s just too polite to point it out.

So he ends up spending more time at the Bamboo Cottage, because Xiao would rather play with his new friend than spend any time with him. This house is the only ounce of interesting that exists within the Lan Sect, and he could never, ever live here. “I’m not sure how you manage to stay even half the year at this awful place.” 

“Be nice, Jiang Cheng. It’s not so bad when you get used to it.” Wei WuXian pours him another cup of Emperor's Smile. "Besides, here we are drinking Emperor's Smile in the Cloud Recesses and not being punished for it."

“You’re the one that used to complain about this place the most and sneak out. It’s just… baffling.”

“Maybe because I’m madly in love with Lan Zhan…” he says, but then deadpans, adding, “or maybe it’s because I have two kids with the Lan surname. If I didn’t want them raised here, they’d be Wei’s. But things are different now, Jiang Cheng. Really. More rules have been removed since my son was born than have been removed in the entire clan’s history. Even now, the rule about men not disturbing female cultivators has been clarified so that little Jia can stay with Zewu-jun.”

“How so?”

“They previously interpreted it as “disturb” meaning, literally being around the females. Now, Zewu-jun has clarified that to mean harassment and flirtatiously bothering. Oh, and anyone who assaults a female or forces anyone into a sexual situation is immediately removed from the sect after being whipped as many times as appropriate. Isn’t that great?”

“That’s very… forward. So what, now the women and men are intermingling? I bet there’s a lot of marriages going on.”

“Yeah. I mean, the unmarried disciples still can’t go to the residences of each other, but all the other spaces are non-separated.”

“Is the old man having a freak out over it?”

“Well, Zewu-jun’s come to his own about things. He’s taken the role as leader a bit more seriously and amends rules if he wants to.”

“Huh… I wonder what changed him.”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Say, why don’t you stay awhile? Xiao’s been bored recently because of the baby. He’d love to have you stay.”

“No, he’ll be fine. He’s got Jia now.”

And Jiang Cheng isn’t wrong. Xiao’s much happier now that he has someone who is as kind to him as he is to them. “He’s never really had a friend before. That Zhi kid didn’t count, he’s a jerk. It’s good for him.”

“I’m glad he was able to make a friend. He’s kind of shy like Lan Zhan but he still wants a lot of attention.” 

“An odd combination, indeed.”

***

“Ready?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Yeah…”

“And Uncle, whoever gets to the bottom first gets a whole bag of candy!”

“If Uncle Jiang agrees to those terms...” Lan XiChen says, pressing his hands down into the snow to prepare for his take off. They are situated at the top of the steepest sledding hill in all of the Cloud Recesses. Below them at the very bottom are half a dozen children to judge who will win their little race.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, doing the same. “You ready to pay?” 

“We’ll see.”

“Alright, on the count of three, then. Wei WuXian, count us off.” 

Xiao glances over at Jia and Lan XiChen’s sled, knowing it can’t possibly be as fast as his and Jiang Cheng’s, and pretty soon he’ll have a whole bag of candy as promised. 

Nearby, Wei WuXian is seated in his designated place as an official of sorts, as requested by the children to make sure nobody cheats. “Alright, lady and gentlemen, you know the rules, there are no rules. Whoever gets to the bottom first wins, as long as both riders remain on the sled. Any questions?”
Jiang Cheng raises his hand.

"Yes, Sect Leader Jiang?"
“Can we get on with it already?”

Wei WuXian chucks a snowball in Jiang Cheng’s direction and counts down ridiculously quickly to try and throw them off, but both Jiang Cheng and Lan XiChen push off at the same time, sending the two sleds zipping down the steep hill. Xiao clings onto Jiang Cheng's arm and his playful screams— noise in the Cloud Recesses!— echo off of the hills.

If fifteen year old Wei Ying had been here today, he’d probably wonder, Such a thing as laughter and fun exists in the Cloud Recesses? Whether it was always there or it came into existence only recently, it doesn’t matter. It’s here now. Wei Ying of the past might not understand it yet, but no matter where he lives now, he can be perfectly content so long as his husband and children are with him.Their world is changing in a good way, more and more each day.

Chapter Text

“Would you mind taking him for a couple of hours?” It was just past five o’clock in the morning, and had it not been for the fact that he was already awake, Jiang Cheng might have strangled Wei WuXian for bothering him at such an hour. Any remarks that Jiang Cheng thought of die in his throat when he sees the expression on his former brother’s face. He is desperate and greatly upset, and perhaps more obvious than anything else is how exhausted he is. It isn’t like Wei WuXian to ask for help in any situation, so Jiang Cheng of course accepts the infant into his arms without a word. He decides not to ask what the reasoning is for Wei WuXian to pass off the kid to him and instead shuts his door, leaving Wei WuXian to depart on his own.

Wei WuXian exhaled softly and tip-toed back to his own quarters, closing the door even more quietly. He leaned against it as he placed a hand over his stomach, and his vision blurred with tears. I’m never doing this again. He hadn’t felt so… so not like himself since his core was removed all those years ago. Looking at his body in the mirror’s reflection, he feels a strong sense of repulse, of unfamiliarity. He’s not supposed to look like this. It’s not supposed to be possible. And of course, he’s glad that it was possible, that he was able to have a son— the most incredibly handsome child he’s ever seen, at that— but now that it’s over, all he’s left with is the remains of the situation. 

Once, he’d accidentally walked in on an older woman with her midriff exposed. Madam Yu gave him hell for it, but he obviously wasn’t doing it for pleasure and all he gained from the situation was surprise. He wondered why there were so many strange, reddish-pink marks littering her stomach? She’d had twins a few years previously, but there was never any incision, so therefore there was no reason for this odd looking scarring. He thought that perhaps it was some sort of curse mark until his sister politely informed him that it wasn’t proper to talk about a woman’s appearance.

Well, needless to say, he knows what those reddish-pink marks are now. They litter his hips and thighs and they will not go away no matter how much of the weight from Xiao he’s lost. He’s starting to fear that they are permanent, and it’s not like he can just ask about it. It would make him lose an infinite amount of face to approach a woman with this kind of question. He used to be proud of his scars in his past life. They told stories about what sort of adventures he’d been on or whom he had protected. But this is one marking that he can’t force himself to be proud of. It makes him feel strange. Unnatural. But that’s not even the half of it. No, the real problem comes from this dysphoric feature.

It was supposed to go away by now, but there’s still a slight swell at his chest and he hates it more than anything else. It was the one thing that he thought was even more impossible than having his son to begin with, and if he’d known that this was one of the many side effects that came along with pregnancy, he would have forgotten the idea long ago. He’s so ashamed of it that he won’t even lie chest-to-chest with Lan WangJi due to being able to feel the difference. It’s disgusting. At night, he lets Lan WangJi do whatever he wants with Xiao; be it putting him between them or holding him, but Wei WuXian sleeps with his back to both of them most of the time. And he knows he’s missing out on undoubtedly priceless quality time with to of his two favorite people on earth. He’s just not in a place to appreciate those moments right now, and he hates himself for that. This is not how everything was supposed to go. He didn’t agree to any of these awful emotions and changes to his body. Hence, he couldn’t let it happen again. He loved the idea of having plenty of children around, but their origin would have to be different from Xiao’s or it will never happen. 

He uses his now free-time to bathe, giving his body a few minutes of rest before he forces his upper-half into almost painful binding to make him look somewhat like his old self again. The only thing that cannot be changed is the widening of his hips, but he’s working on a solution for that, and until then, he simply wears looser robes. After he is dressed again, he sits down to finish his letter to Lan WangJi (as he was still in Gusu at this time). 

Of course I’m alright. It must have been the wording I used that implied otherwise. No, you don’t need to come back to Lotus Pier until you can be assured that your uncle is recovering well. Baby and I are doing fine here. We do miss you, but we’re being patient.

Wei WuXian crumbles up the paper and tosses it into the bin when he hears someone at the door of the room. He knows it’s Jiang Cheng because he barges in without knocking. Xiao’s not with him. 

“Did you lose my son?” Wei WuXian asks as he pulls out another piece of paper, trying to make himself look busy. 

“Are you an idiot? He’s asleep.” Jiang Cheng sits on the table adjacent to him, clasping his hands together. He says nothing about why he came here. 

Wei WuXian shrugs and begins to rewrite his letter.

We are both doing great. There’s no need for you to rush, you should stay and help out your family as needed. Xiao and I love being at Lotus Pier and aren’t eager to return home, ourselves. If my writing came across as negative in my last letter, I didn’t mean that. I’m actually really happy right now. So what are you doing, worrying about me? :) 

“You’ve lied to a lot of people,” Jiang Cheng appears at his side out of nowhere, “but you lie to him, too? I’m a little surprised.”

“Stop snooping!” Wei WuXian flips the page over and smears the ink everywhere. “What do you want with me, anyway? Don’t you have important leader stuff to attend to? Leave the village crazyman to his ramblings and nonsense and get back to work—”
“Wei WuXian, you can lie to the world, and even to me, but you know I can see right through you. It’s even stupider than the actual lie itself.” 

“Lie about what?”

“You’re telling him that you’re doing great and you’re very happy. I wouldn’t be surprised at that if I didn’t notice that strained look on your face all the time. So either your stays are too tight or you’re miserable beyond belief. If it’s the second, why don’t you go home?” 

“It’s neither of those things. I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“What’s this?” Suddenly, he takes a long, thick bandage-like fabric from his pockets and waves it in front of Wei WuXian. “Shijie once said these were practically suffocating. What do you have this for?” 

But Wei WuXian won’t give anything away with his facial expressions. “Where did you find this thing and why do you think it’s mine? It looks like bandages. You should take it to the infirmary.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Wei WuXian.”

Wei WuXian tilts his head and takes it from him. “I don’t know what this is. Do you know what this is?”

“I heard from your dear family over in the Cloud Recesses that you use these. I don’t see why in a million years you’d need to. It’s damaging to your insides, you know? So stop using it.”

The idea of Lan WangJi telling Jiang Cheng about his personal business is both infuriating and betraying. He snatches the binding from his hands and storms out of the room. When Jiang Cheng tries to follow, he throws a talisman towards him to keep him away.

He’s seen pushing a boat off of the docks, but he doesn’t sail very far away. Jiang Cheng knows exactly where he’s headed, as a matter of fact, and he isn’t too worried. Maybe he shouldn’t have approached the topic so rashly, but Wei WuXian wasn’t the type to be easily embarrassed. Perhaps it was this hormones thing that one of the lady doctors had mentioned to him?

He finds Wei WuXian at their childhood hideout down and across the river, near a lake filled with lotuses. He sits up in a tree, leg hanging over the branch, and does not acknowledge Jiang Cheng when he approaches.

“Do you remember when you fell out of that tree and broke your arm?”

Wei WuXian smiles fondly at the memory for the briefest of moments, then goes back to his stoic attitude. “What about it? Are you going to break my arm if I don’t come down?”

“No.” Jiang Cheng sits at the root of the tree and leans back against it. Birds chirp throughout the forest and a few twigs snap as a rabbit hops by. Shijie was so much better with these types of situations. What should I say? 

In the past, there was no need for apologies. As brothers do, they’d eventually get over whatever their conflict was and move on. Now, things are different. Whatever these binding bandages are, it’s a sensitive topic for Wei WuXian that he wasn’t ready to talk about if even Lan WangJi wasn’t supposed to know about it. And he just pressed and pressed and… really, really upset him. Embarrassed him.

Jiang Cheng sighs. “I don’t know a lot about what you’re going through.” Wei WuXian stops swinging his foot; he’s listening. “Mostly because I’ll never, ever have to experience it myself. Even if it was possible, I still wouldn’t ever —”
“I get it.”

“Point being, because I don’t understand, I shouldn’t have said what I did. I have no idea what I’m talking about and it’s obviously something you didn’t want brought up. So I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”

“I’ll tell you this. It’s hell.” Wei WuXian jumps down from the tree, startling him. “I don’t even feel like myself these days. I don’t even talk to Lan Zhan about it because he can’t understand either.”

“You should talk to him. He’s worried. He won’t leave me alone about it.”

“He’s worried?” Wei WuXian rests a hand behind his head. “That I’m binding my chest?”

“Not really that. Just that you do it properly without hurting yourself, which I doubt you’re smart enough not to do.” 

“Well, since you two talk so much, why don’t you tell him I appreciate his concern, but I don’t want him seeing me like this.” He plucks a weed from the ground and pushes it between his lips. “I almost miss the Cloud Recesses. At least there, mirrors are considered conceited, so I don’t have to see—”

“How long have you been hiding this?” 

“Hiding it? It’s apparently no secret at all.” Wei WuXian frowns and suddenly starts to untie the front of his robes, letting it slip down his shoulders. “Look at your face. You look just as disgusted as I feel. Jiang Cheng, I really don’t know what else to do other than to show you why I’m covering up with this. And since you’re such an expert, am I doing it right?” 

“Wei WuXian?”
“ Am I doing this right ? I just want it to go away! And if it can’t, I want to stop caring so much! Can you understand that, if nothing else?!”

Jiang Cheng quickly stands up as Wei WuXian is becoming increasingly defensive, and he’s not about to get shoved or punched. “If you took that off, no one would notice or care.”

“That’s not the point. You think I don’t know that? You think I want to strangle myself with these? It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.” Wei WuXian folds his arms over his chest. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, but he won’t cry in front of Jiang Cheng at a time like this. “Anyway, once it’s gone, I’m never having another child. I will never feel like this again. I’ve been through enough, haven’t I? Why should I have to go through this, too?”

“Come on, Wei WuXian. It’s not like you to complain so much about your situation. You’re one of the toughest people I know and you’ve never cared about something as trivial as appearance before. I’m telling you right now, no one will notice if you don’t wear it. You say that doesn’t matter, but I’m sure that’s part of it.”

“What if I want to wear it? Then what? You tell Lan Zhan that I’ll never forgive him for telling you about this, and leave me alone. I can do what I want.” Brushing off the front of his robes, he starts to walk back towards the river, when Jiang Cheng says, “Then let me help you do it properly, at least, so you don’t kill yourself.”

.

Even though he was upset with Jiang Cheng at the time, his kind deed would make a difference in their relationship moving forward. Although Xiao did not go to Lotus Pier in the summer after his first birthday, he went every summer after that, and with each year that passed the tensions between the two families seemed to dissapate (except for the unspoken issues between Lan WangJi and Jiang Cheng, but that is to be expected). It became a tradition, these summers at Lotus Pier, one that is unclear whether or not the child or the sect leader enjoyed more. During the many months in which Wei WuXian and his children were not at Lotus Pier, correspondence flew back and forth between the former brothers. Jiang Cheng never has much to say, but he likes knowing the goings-on in Gusu and knows that Wei WuXian needs someone to vent to from time to time. Hence, so as not to discourage it, he dutifully replies to each letter. 

Five Years Later

Wei WuXian is reflecting on a particularly embarrassing moment of the past when he, Xiao, and his newest addition Mei are arriving in Yunmeng. Jiang Cheng’s most recent letter is in his satchel, the one inviting him and the children to stay for the entire summer, since they wouldn’t be going to their country home this year due to difficulties with Mei. He’s saddened at the idea of not being able to go, but staying at Lotus Pier for the summer isn’t such a bad thing, either. 

Anyway, thinking about Jiang Cheng, to date, helping him out with the temporary binding is the nicest thing Jiang Cheng ever did for him, and though they’ve had their ups and downs in the five years since that day, he hasn’t forgotten his brother’s kindness in that moment. It’s certainly helped him recently as he’s had to bind again, but he was able to stop in the spring and can function much more comfortably now. 

Mei is sitting on his lap and glancing around curiously at the bustle of Yunmeng. She’s never heard so much noise in all of her seven months of life, but she doesn’t necessarily find it unpleasant. Yet. She’s testing the waters. “Baba, can we stop and eat lunch first? I’m super hungry…” Xiao is the first to climb out of the boat and is having a hard time staying still now that they are so close to Lotus Pier. 

“No, I’m almost all out of money. Remember when I had to pay for that entire boat back at our last stop? But don’t worry. Uncle Jiang will be meeting us here soon. He has a surprise for you.”
“Really? Why?” 

“Because he’s still upset that he missed your birthday, that’s why.”

“Oh.” He hugs Wei WuXian’s leg when an unfamiliar man approaches and starts rambling in asking for money. “Baba, why can’t we just sail to Lotus Pier?”
“You’ll see, you’ll see— no, sir, we don’t have any money.” 

“No money? No money? Yes, money! You have this!” He babbles on, reaching out to grab the jade token around Xiao’s waist. Wei WuXian uses his sword to block him from doing so. “Keep your hands off my son.”
“I mean no offense.”
“Uh-huh. Xiao, let’s find Uncle Jiang.”

Since when did Yunmeng become so unpleasant? Have I really spent so long in Gusu that I’ve forgotten how life is here?

“Talismans from the feared Yiling Patriarch! Get your talismans here, protect your family from evil spirits!” Wei WuXian rolls his eyes. This is one of the many reasons they usually don’t dock in Yunmeng, but it’s not like Xiao knows who the Yiling Patriarch is, or—

“What does Yiling Patriarch mean?” To his horror, the child in question is standing in front of the faux talisman peddler and not by his side.

“Oh, it’s much too frightening for a little boy to hear about. He was a malicious killer, an evil demon!” The peddler thrusts a poorly drawn (and rather scary) depiction of the so-called Yiling Patriarch to the boy’s face, making him jump. “But most importantly, he created these talismans , which—” 

Wei WuXian snatches the talisman from the man’s hands as well as the awful drawing and scrunches them up. “Is your profession to lie to small children and scare them?”

“N-No, of course not! Well, that is to say—”
“I doubt he’ll sleep in his own bed for a week, thanks to you. If you don’t know what the Yiling Patriarch looked like, how is it fair to draw him like this and scare kids with his image? No one would buy such ugly artwork, and furthermore—” 

“Piss off.” Thankfully, Jiang Cheng comes to their rescue and pulls them away from the peddler, distracting Xiao from the discarded paper he’d picked up from the ground.

***

“Whoa… it even has my name on it!” 

“Jiang WanYin!”

While Wei WuXian stares open mouthed at a brand new, painted boat situated at the docks, his son jumps right into it to observe the different patterns painted onto the wood. “You… bought my son a boat.”

“I did, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“May I ask why?” Wei WuXian climbs into the boat and marvels at the painted cloud patterns above his head when he sits down.

“Because I heard that the boat you left Gusu in nearly capsized. And let’s not forget that flimsy thing you left in last year, the one that they overcharged you for that almost—”
“Okay, I get it. But wow … you don’t… you don’t want us to keep this, do you?” 

“It’d make the trips with these two easier, so of course. Why would I keep this here? To take up space? Park it in Gusu when you’re not using it, or at that port closest to the cottage.”

He’ll never understand Jiang Cheng’s point of view or why he does what he does. But he’d be stupid to turn him down. “Well, it will definitely make the traveling easier on us. Lan Xiao! Thank your uncle.”

“Can we take this to Lotus Pier now? Can I use the paddle? Can I anchor it when we—”
“Lan Xiao.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He stands up straight and bows in the way that he’s only practiced a hundred times before. With his ribbon and pristine white robes, he looks like a miniature version of Lan XiChen, since Lan WangJi would never smile so much.

***

“Why didn’t he come this time?” Jiang Cheng accepts a jar of Emperor’s Smile from his brother as the boat glides down the river towards Lotus Pier. Xiao is fascinated by the journey and is lying on his stomach towards the front, dipping his arm in the water. 

“It was strange. As of the night before we left, he was coming with us. But in the morning, he was gone. SiZhui was gone too, and the rest of the younger ones. Apparently, there was a rather violent… hunt… nearby,” He glances in Xiao’s direction to make sure he’s not listening, “and now, while I’m sure he’s fine, it looks like he’ll be occupied with that for at least a few days.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t come at all. Hmmph.” 

“Well, I couldn’t say for sure. But it’s no problem. I can handle these two on my own. I’ve managed this whole time without any issues whatsoever.”

.

When it’s curfew, Wei WuXian helps Xiao through his nightly routine and tucks him in, but leaves after that to go back to talking with Jiang Cheng. Normally, Xiao is fine on his own at night, but after hearing those scary stories about the Yiling Patriarch— whose picture he now hides under his pillow— he is unable to sleep. Such a scary face the Yiling Patriarch had! What if… what if that shadow… standing by the window… is the fearsome Yiling Patriarch? He’s trembling at the way it taps at the window.

When a strike of lightning illuminates the shadow on the window, he sees what looks like a claw and screams, tossing the Yiling Patriarch image towards it in hopes that it might scare off the claw-handed person. But lighting strikes again and he catches a glimpse of the Yiling Patriarch’s face, and all he can do is cry and hide under his blankets, shaking like a leaf. 

.

“I wasn’t completely truthful,” Wei WuXian admits, cheeks aglow as he downs his fourth jar of Emperor’s Smile. “Yes, he did go for that night hunt, but he never even said goodbye. It’s because he’s mad at me.” 

“Mad? At you? Impossible.”

“Believe it or not, we do fight sometimes, Jiang Cheng. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.” He strokes the jar and looks down with a sad smile.  

“I can’t picture him raising his voice at you. You two’s fights are probably like Mom and Dad’s were.”

Ah yes, almost every argument between Madam Yu and Jiang Fengman usually looked like her shouting her husband’s ear off while he sat there quietly and listened. Wei WuXian laughs at the idea of him and Lan WangJi’s arguments being the same way. “No, no, no, Lan Zhan won’t sit there quietly if I’m yelling at him. He’ll urge me to be quieter and refute everything I say, making me even angrier.”

“So what was this argument about, then?” Jiang Cheng lies down on the floor, having drunk far too much this evening and not being used to the sweet taste of Emperor’s Smile. “Was it about coming here?”

“Partly.” 

“I should talk to him then.”
“No~ it’s not like that.” Wei WuXian laughs softly as he places the empty jar next to its companions. “It’s like this… he doesn’t want Xiao here for as long as usual.”

“Because…?”

“Because he’s got his studies now, you know~ they start them early at the Cloud Recesses. And the kid loves it. But we agreed years ago that the summers were not to be spent in Gusu. And now he’s trying to change that up. He says it’s better for him not to miss so much of his studies. And I said he’s only five and will be fine without them. You know, I find life experiences to be more valuable than whatever can be found in books.”

“He’s a smart kid. He’ll do fine with a gap in his learning.”

“That’s what I said. He doesn’t agree. Hence, the arguing.” Jar number five is now in his hands. “I just wish Xiao didn’t have to hear it.”
“You argued in front of him?”
“Yeah.”
Jiang Cheng takes the jar from him. “Don’t do it again. Remember how awful we used to feel when my parents argued around us? He doesn’t deserve to hear it.”

“Yes, Mom. Anything else you’d like to add?”
“Yes. Shut up and go to sleep. No more alcohol for you.”  

Wei WuXian happily retrieves a jar from under the table. “Yes, more alcohol. Tonight, I won’t stop drinking until I forget who I am.”
“You’re pathetic. Where did you get these from?”

“Lan Zhan bought them for me before we left…”
“And four jars is your limit. So this one here and yours are both water, undoubtedly. You think he’d let you have so many on your own? Try it, and you’ll see.”

The theory is confirmed a few seconds later when Wei WuXian spits out a mouthful of water across the table. “Lan Zhan!!!”

.

Wei WuXian wakes up to his son hugging his arm, drooling on him. His grip is very tight. Shaking his head, he figures it’s just the storm that had him scared and thinks nothing more of it until later in the day when Jiang Cheng tells him about an incident with Xiao in the woods… but before that, he has something to say to him.

When Xiao wakes up, Wei WuXian has already drawn the bath for him and has his clothes waiting. He hasn’t bathed since they were still at the Cloud Recesses, back when his parents were arguing about the summer until the water was almost cold. Xiao climbs into the thankfully hot water and stays quiet and still while he’s washed, thinking only of that night and what that arguing meant. He’s come to a rather sad conclusion about it. 

“What’s that long face for, huh?” Wei WuXian quickly ties Xiao’s hair up into a bun to let the soap soak in. “The water’s not too hot, is it?”
“It’s not that.” He sinks down into the water and sighs. Wei WuXian sits beside the tub and rests his elbows against the edge, chin in his hand. “What then?”

“You… and Father…” Oh, he just can’t say it. “Father’s not coming, right? He’s not coming back to us.”

“What? Never! Didn’t I tell you that he’s doing very important work with your big brother right now? Why would you think he’s not coming back?” 

“‘Cause you were fighting and… and you said—” Who are you to tell me where I can or can’t bring him? If I want to move to Lotus Pier and raise him there, you can’t stop me! You can just stay here!

Yes, he shouldn’t have said that around Xiao. But he doesn’t regret saying it. Still, he has to lie to his son, otherwise he’ll mope around like this for the rest of the summer. “Xiao, you’re right. What I said sounded like we were going to stay here, away from Father. But that’s just not true. Even if Father and I were fighting, he loves you and Mei far too much to leave you forever. Like I said, he’s just busy right now. In a week or two, I’m sure he’ll come here to see you.” 

“And you… right?”

“Of course. I’m not mad at him anymore and I miss him already. I can’t wait to see him.”

“And you’re not gonna fight anymore?” 

“No, but we may fight in the future. You see… it’s normal for people to disagree on things. For instance, Uncle Jiang? He loves dogs. They’re his favorite animal in the whole world. But me? I hate dogs and think they are very scary and mean. Sometimes we might argue about who’s right and who’s wrong, but it doesn’t matter. Everyone has their own opinion and sometimes neither is right or wrong, so you just have to move on from it.”

“So he’s not mad either?”
“No, I don’t think so. I bet he misses us terribly and can’t wait to see us. You just wait and see. Everything’s going to be just fine, I promise.” 

***

Later that day, Jiang Cheng decided to take Xiao out on his own without Wei WuXian as something seemed to be bothering him, and he knew whatever it was, he would be most comfortable talking to Jiang Cheng about it. He’s the cool uncle, after all, and they are closest.

Anyway, they were fishing in a stream off the main river and things were going well when suddenly they heard a rustling in the woods nearby, which was obviously just a servant on his way to do his job, but Xiao was so startled that he immediately ran and hid behind Jiang Cheng’s legs. 

“What are you scared of? That was probably just one of the servants walking by. You’ve gotten my robes all wet.” (Wei WuXian knows that he probably didn’t say this so nicely) “W-What if it’s t-the… the… Yiling Patriarch?”

Jiang Cheng was taken aback by the name that he was pretty sure, up until that moment, Xiao didn’t know of. “What do you mean?”

“The Yiling Patriarch! One of the boys said… well, he said that the Yiling Patriarch eats children!”

“And you believed him?”
His response is muffled.

“What?”
“I do! Because I saw’d him outside my room last night!” He moves to Jiang Cheng’s side and makes a clawing motion with his hand. “And he was tappin’ on the window! He’s gonna get me…”
“Nobody’s going to get you.” Jiang Cheng crouches down to his level. “Who was it that told you about the Yiling Patriarch?”

Xiao looks down for a moment and mumbles something along the lines of a peddler in Yunmeng who sold scary pictures, and Xiao had happened to pick up one of them.

“I’ll say this. The Yiling Patriarch didn’t look like the guy in the pictures.”
“Really? Y-You’ve seen him?”

“Yeah. He was kinda ugly, but not like that. And anyway, you shouldn’t have stolen it from that guy. You know better.”

“I’m sorry, Uncle.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure you are. But I’m not gonna tell on you. Instead, I want you to go ask your parents about the Yiling Patriarch. They’ll tell you what I did and that you shouldn’t be scared anymore.”

***

“Why am I accompanying you to Yunmeng, WangJi?” Lan XiChen asks as the two board the boat they’d just rented in Gusu, the day after Lan WangJi returned with the Juniors from a particularly harrowing night hunt. 

Lan WangJi replies after a long pause, “Jiang WanYin is kinder when you are around. Wei Ying has already told him about what happened, so if I go alone…”

“He’ll undoubtedly be upset with you, yes, I see now. However…” The two sit on the long bench, side by side, “Jiang WanYin tends to get even more upset when I infringe on his time with our nephew.”

“It’s not reserved.” Lan WangJi murmurs.

“It’s always been like this. I suppose things have gotten increasingly competitive over the years, but I’m not inclined to argue about it.” 

“It does not matter whom he prefers. In a year or two, he will not be able to come here anymore.”

“You think Young Master Wei will accept that?”
“There isn’t another choice. To interrupt his learning just to satisfy—”

“WangJi, I know that you and Jiang WanYin dislike each other. But perhaps, for the sake of your marriage, you should not make those feelings so obvious. Try to be kinder to him. It is in our principles, after all.”

***

“Sect Leader Lan and Hanguang-jun have just arrived.” A servant announces during dinner a few days after the Yiling Patriarch incident in the forest. “And? I didn’t invite them.” Jiang Cheng says as he continues his dinner, but Wei WuXian springs to his feet and bursts out of the room, so he has no choice but to follow after him.

Wei WuXian seems to have forgotten all about his and Lan WangJi’s argument and jumps into his husband’s arms once he’s in reach, happily laughing and smothering him in kisses. Jiang Cheng isn’t as pleased, or impressed. Lan XiChen greets him in attempts to divert the attention. “How are you, Jiang WanYin?” 

“I’m fine. Have you come here to protect your brother against me? Zewu-jun, I’m not hot-headed enough to get involved with someone else’s marital conflicts, you didn’t have to come all this way just for that.”

“Oh, it wasn’t because of that!” Even though it partly was !, Lan XiChen won’t expose his brother like that. “I haven’t been to Lotus Pier in years, so I thought I’d stop by…”

“Either way, you give me no choice but to be hospitable. Come in.” 

.

“I have to hope that you didn’t take offense to what my brother said.” The two sect leaders stand on the dock, staring out at the dark water at what must be hours past curfew. “He… just wants what’s best for his son, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.”

“He’s overprotective.” Jiang Cheng replies. He sits on the edge of the dock and removes his shoes. “He won’t even let the boy have an ounce of sugar.”

“Overprotective, yes. But for good reason, you know. It’s his only son.” 

Jiang Cheng shrugs, doubting that his own father would treat him the same way or care nearly as much despite being his only son. He’s never met a father who cared so much, and he doubts that Lan XiChen has either. “But he has to let him live. Life isn’t only about studying and work. This is the spawn of Wei WuXian, how could he possibly live his life without candy and games and mischief?”

“He’ll be fine. You worry too much about him, Jiang WanYin. He’ll never want for anything or miss out on his childhood. You worry about the Lan clan restricting his childhood, but Young Master Wei would push us out of the way to make sure we won’t.” Lan XiChen slowly sits beside him and removes his boots as well. “This water… it’s a lot warmer than it is in Gusu. Much easier for swimming, I’m sure.”

“Do you even know how to swim?”

“I learned, once. I suppose I still could if needed.” Lan XiChen turns his head and studies the agitated expression on the sect leader’s face for a long moment. “Do you enjoy these visits?”

“Who said I didn’t?” Jiang Cheng says, arms folded. 

“I suppose you might enjoy it more if WangJi and I hadn’t come.”

“Don’t suppose anything. I don’t mind if you stay.” With a second thought, he adds, “It’s better that you are. Wei WuXian behaves better when you’re here, and whines less with him here.”

“The two cannot be separated,” Lan XiChen says, “For the sole reason that they’re both incorrigible without each other.”

“I think true love is bullcrap, but those two, they’re something…”

“You don’t believe in love of that amount, Jiang WanYin?”
“I’ll believe it when I see it for myself.”

“Ah.” Lan XiChen gazes out at the water. “I thought I knew it, once. Knowing what I do now, I… must have been mistaken.” 

“Jin GuangYao might have—”
“No, not him, never him. How could I, when he was—” He slowly rises to his feet after having put on his boots. A soft sigh escapes his lips. “Forgive me, Jiang WanYin. It is far past nine. More than forty years of routine cannot erase itself so easily.”

“So I’ve heard. Goodnight, Lan XiChen.”

***

“Pssst. Baba…”

“Uh.” Comes his open mouthed response. His head is on Lan WangJi’s arm and his hair is everywhere and there’s drool on his face. 

“I wanna go see Uncle XiChen. He’s awake. Can I go?”

“Huh. Go. Don’ wake her up…”

“Okay! Oops… I mean… okay. Go back to sleep!” He tucks Wei WuXian in and kisses his forehead. 

.

“Don’t tell me this is too spicy, too?”

“It is… on the border of it.” Lan XiChen laughs, then downs a glass of water. “You must forgive me, Jiang WanYin. At the Cloud Recesses, such a thing as spice doesn’t exist.”

Meanwhile, across from them, Xiao is eating his serving with no trouble at all, probably because he’s been fed spice since infancy. “Can I have another scoop, please?”

“Showing me up, are you?” Lan XiChen smiles. “Alright, I’ll have more, too. But no more than three bowls.”

“That’s one of our rules!” Xiao adds happily, “But sometimes if it’s just me and Baba, I can have four . It’s our secret… oops.”

“You’re terrible at keeping secrets, Xiao.”

“I know… because it’s bad to lie.”

“That’s right. I don’t mind if you have four bowls, Xiao. Those rules don’t apply to children of your age.” Lan XiChen is trying his best not to show his reaction to the spicy food. He doesn’t want Jiang Cheng to feel as if his cooking is bad or anything, but he unknowingly insulted him by telling their nephew that he could break the Cloud Recesses’ rules. So, naturally, Jiang Cheng has to respond by showing him up a bit:

“And you can have as much as you want while you’re here. Five or six or eight bowls, I wouldn’t care.”

“Then, I don’t care either.” Lan XiChen adds.

“It’s not a competition, Zewu-jun.”

“I never said it was.”

“You try to make him favor you—“

“I would never do such a thing. I just find it cute when you’re upset over petty things.”

“I’ll show you a petty thing—“

“Guess who my favorite uncle is in the whole world?” Xiao stands up, declaring, “Neither of you! It’s Uncle Ning! He’s super strong! And fun! And when he comes, guess what? So does Brother, and he always brings Uncle JingYi! So I get to see so many people cause of him, that’s why he’s my favorite!” Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, and Lan XiChen turns to him and asks, fueling the fire, “Are you jealous that he lives closer to me? That shouldn’t really matter.”

“Says the man who sees him every day.”

“What, biologically he’s my nephew, so why wouldn’t I see him more often?”

“Yes, please continue with the biological shit. You know that’s all you have to hold over me!”

“So it is jealousy. But you have nothing to be jealous of. Xiao loves you and Lotus Pier and his summers here more than anything else.”

“Is that so?”

“It’s all he ever talks about. Does that make me jealous? Of course not. I’m just glad he is so happy and has so many people to take care of him and love him as much as we do.”

Jiang Cheng shuts up at this.

“The Cloud Recesses will never be as fun as Lotus Pier is. He needs this. And I won’t stand in the way of that, ever. Hence, I should go. Your time together is precious, and I wouldn’t want to interfere with that.”

***

“And then the princess jumps down and whack ! She hits the bad guy with her sword and saves the people! Uncle, you’re the townsperson! You gotta move him.” Xiao takes the carved doll and places it in Jiang Cheng’s hand. “You’re supposed to give her the award.”

“Award? Right… what award, exactly?”

“A million billion pounds of gold! And you’re gonna build her a big castle so she can have a party and invite everyone!”

“But the princess is the one with the money. The townspeople are poor.”

“Oh. Well, you can still… umm… oh, I know! Congratulate the princess and build her castle for her! She’ll give ‘em the gold to use.”

“Right. ‘Congratulations, Princess Mei. You saved us all.’” He waves the doll around. 

“‘Thank you! But I couldn’ta done it without my sword! It’s magic, see?’– Now, Uncle, you’ve gotta pretend to be… like… ‘wow, how amazing! She’s the most powerful princess ever!’ And the — Mei! Stop chewin’ on the horse! That’s not for you!” He tries to take the figurine away from his baby sister, but her grip is tight and she refuses. “Give it back! You’re gonna get slobber all over— Uncle, make her give it back! She’s gonna ‘estroy it!”

Why does he keep spacing out? What is it that is distracting him so often? Shaking his head, Jiang Cheng pries the horse figurine out of Mei’s grip and gives her a bean bag to chew on instead. “Is the game almost over? I’m tired.”

“Tired? No! We have to build the castle and then have the celebration!”

This is a game that someone like Wei WuXian, with a lot of imagination, would probably be better at. But he’s off somewhere with Lan WangJi probably trying to make his third child and can’t take over for him. “Why don’t you finish the game? I… I’m not really good at these sorts of games. They’re really for children.”

“But… but back home—“

“Don’t tell me that Uncle XiChen plays this game, because I don’t care. I don’t care about him or what you do while you’re there, you’re at Lotus Pier, okay? If you want to play the way he plays, then go back home.” 

He gapes at Jiang Cheng for a moment, then it’s as if a cloud has been cast over his sunshine of a personality. He tosses the figurine to the side and storms off towards the docks. 

Jiang Cheng doesn’t bother to follow. He lifts Mei and takes her to one of the servants to be put down for her nap. He closes himself off in his room and tries not to think about anyone outside of it. 

Caring about people always results in loss for him, and there’s no exception to it whatsoever. If he could just stay neutral with Lan XiChen, then he wouldn’t be feeling this way right now: something between guilt and jealousy and an unknown emotion that he can’t quite pinpoint. But he’s gone now and obviously isn’t returning, so they won’t have to see each other until next spring. So why can’t he stop thinking about what went on that morning? About what Lan XiChen said when the two were sitting on the docks?

Yes, life is much easier if he doesn’t care about anyone, the exception being Jin Ling. He ignores every knock at his door and sleeps half of the day. He tries not to care, but he still does. He cares for everyone except Lan WangJi, and even if Lan WangJi were to die, he might feel a little bit bad— only because it would shatter Wei WuXian’s heart and leave two small children without their father. He’s not wicked enough not to care about a situation like that . Unable to rest any longer, he glances out the window and is surprised to see that Xiao hasn’t returned yet, and his idiotic parents haven’t realized his absense. They’re seated in by the water, Wei WuXian lying in Lan WangJi’s lap as he props up Mei, who grabs at her father’s forehead ribbon. Before he ridicules them for not knowing where their son is, he checks Xiao’s room to make sure he’s actually gone. As expected, he’s not there.

But instead of anger or ridicule, he approaches the two with concern. “Do you know where your son is?” 

The two’s eyebrows are so high they might as well be in their hairlines. “We thought…”

“I haven’t seen him since around eleven this morning.” Jiang Cheng says hurriedly, “He was by the docks, then. You really haven’t seen him?”

“You left him alone?!” Wei WuXian springs to his feet, his skin a deathly shade of white. 

Lan WangJi rushes towards the docks, the others in tow. Two things are missing from the docks. Their son, and their son’s new boat. “Where… where would he have gone?? Lan Zhan, you have to go look for him downstream, I’ll go upstream!” He’s trembling so hard that he’s going to drop the baby, so Jiang Cheng has to intervene. “I’ll go upstream. You go ask around Lotus Pier to see if anyone saw him. Someone has to wait here in case he comes back on his own.”
“You expect me to just…. Stay —”
“Wei Ying, listen to Jiang WanYin. We don’t have time for this.” He unshealths Bichen. “I will find him.”

.

Xiao’s beautiful boat, the one he spent a small fortune on, is shipwrecked upstream on the rocks just a few years away from an island that’d formed from the lack of rain. But the island was just mud and hadn’t dried yet, so the usual pristine white robes are muddy and the kid was probably very upset about it before he fell asleep, cheek pressed against the mud, dried tear stains… this kid had guts. No sooner did he crouch down to pick him up than was Lan WangJi at his side.

“I thought I told you to check downstream!”

“I knew he was not headed downstream.” Not caring a bit about the mud, Lan WangJi lifts his son into his arms and starts to wipe his face with a handkerchief. “He was trying to return to Gusu on his own.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I do not know. What did you say to him to make him?” 

“Yes, because blaming it on me is much easier than disciplining your kid for causing trouble. Do you know how much that boat cost?”
“Send the bill to Gusu, then.” He boards Jiang Cheng’s boat, his son still tightly in his grip. “It is not as if I…”

“Go on and say it then!” Jiang Cheng pushes the boat away from the island and towards Lotus Pier. “You don’t want him to come here, I already know! But what right do you have to do that?” 

Lan WangJi gives him a cold look and says nothing more. 

It’s too quiet on the trip back to Lotus Pier, and Jiang Cheng is tired of observing from afar. He kneels in front of his nephew and attempts to wash some of the mud from his face, only for Lan WangJi to swat him away. “Let him be.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I slightly snapped at him, but it’s not my fault he’s so sensitive. I told him I didn’t want to play anymore, but he just kept pressing it over and over, so I—”
“It does not matter. Do not talk to him anymore.” Lan WangJi replies, voice cold. 

Jiang Cheng stares at him in disbelief for a long moment, wondering why Wei WuXian married such a wet mop for starters, but mostly trying to figure out how not to lash out at the man until the child isn’t around. “Oh, so… so you’re just going to do that, huh? Forbid me from seeing him again just because you’re too scared to let him experience life? What happened today was good for him! He needs to make mistakes so he can learn from them!”

“Are you suggesting that he must get hurt to learn?”
“I don’t know, Hanguang-jun, isn’t that exactly how things are in the Cloud Recesses? Does the number thirty-three ring a bell for you?”

It was a low blow, sure. But the two have been on thin ice with each other for more than five years, and it was bound to happen. “You will not speak to my son again, nor will I speak to you.” Lan WangJi is out of the boat before it’s stopped and across the yard in seconds flat. The door to his and Wei WuXian’s room slams so loudly that the frame around the door cracks.

END OF PART I

Chapter Text

A Series of Events that led to Tensions between the Lan WangJi of the Gusu Lan Sect and Jiang WanYin of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect:
An Essay by Lan XiChen—

The relationship between the Gusu Lan Sect and Yunmeng Jiang Sect was at an all-time high at the beginning of this year. Due to distance, the two sects had never communicated much in the past, so there was never a strong alliance. This was partially due to the fact that my father, Qingheng-jun, was in seclusion for much of his time as sect leader. Hence, all communications were managed by Lan QiRen and only done so when necessary. It was I that came up with the idea of hosting heirs of the main sects again as it had been done in the past in attempts to help my brother make some friends around his age— that were human, not animal. By doing so, I unknowingly introduced him to his future husband, Wei WuXian, which had its… ups and downs. During that time that he and his brother, Jiang WanYin, were in the Cloud Recesses, I did not have many opportunities to speak with the future sect leader. When my brother, WangJi, and Wei WuXian married about eight years ago, it sparked an unlikely alliance with the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, but there were minimal interactions during this time. 

And then, five years ago, my nephew was born.

Despite having long since cutting ties with Wei WuXian, Sect Leader Jiang had a particular attachment to my nephew. It was during that time that he decided to consider this child his adopted nephew, despite still keeping his distance from Wei WuXian. He did not attend the celebrations for my nephew’s first birthday, but he had been in attendance every year since, and my nephew regularly spends portions of his summers in Yunmeng. As I have said before, the relationship with the Yunmeng Jiang Sect were steadily increasing due to this. 

That is, until the twenty-first of March of this year, when my nephew turned five years old.

When a child begins to wear the robes of the Gusu Lan Sect and our clan’s symbolic forehead ribbon at the age of five (before this time, it is not required), it is important, but not typically celebrated unless said child is in the immediate family of the sect leader. As he was the first of the immediate family to receive this honor in twenty years, and the second heir to the sect, it was not a ceremony to be taken lightly. On top of that, my niece was born just a few months before, and due to her health we’d yet to celebrate her birth. We hadn’t had so much to celebrate since myself and my brother were born four decades ago. 

As one might expect, there was a lot of thought and planning put into the ceremony and the festivities afterwards, which we decided to hold on the day of his birthday. 

We invited the sect leaders from all major clans and even a few from the minor clans who we have alliances with. The people of Gusu were already celebrating the spring solstice, and so there was naturally an excitement in the air for the big day. Sect Leader Jiang did not confirm his attendance.

And because Sect Leader Jiang’s lack of response, our guards were under the impression that he wasn’t invited. It sounds ridiculous, but they were new and not in the family, therefore they were not familiar with our relationship with the Yunmeng Jiang sect. 

Flustered and annoyed from his long wait to get inside (it was one of the Juniors that eventually let him in, just five minutes before the start of the ceremony) the seating place that had been set aside for him was filled by a leader from a minor clan, meaning Jiang WanYin had to sit in the back of the room in a place where one could hardly see. As leader, I was at the front of my room alongside my uncle and brother. Wei WuXian was seated beside SiZhui and his visiting friend Wen Ning, which would later cause a large portion of the drama; hence, he did not notice his former brother’s particular seating arrangement. Nor did he realize how much offense Jiang Cheng took to Wen Ning, the man who ruined his sister’s life, sitting closer than he, a sect leader, was. 

When the ceremony had concluded, Jiang WanYin made it quite clear that he was furious with his treatment. But before he told us about his ignored confirmation letter, before he said anything about his seat being taken by this person or that, before anything else, he used Zidian and struck Wen Ning with it. While most wouldn’t care, I personally was surprised by the unusual behavior from a typically neutral relationship and tried to neutralize the situation, which backfired. 

(Wei WuXian was the one to jump in and chastise him, demanding an apology to his friend and reminding Jiang WanYin that Wen Ning was a guest. “A guest? And I’m not?? Where was my invitation?!”

“What do you mean, your invitation? I sent them all myself!”

“As if. I would know if such an invitation existed.”

“There has to be a logical explanation for all of this.” Lan XiChen had said, taking a step forward to stand between the former brothers as Zidian was still glowing. “Jiang WanYin, perhaps you should bring this up with your chief of staff. In the meantime, let’s continue with the festivities and leave this misunderstanding behind.” 

“Uncle! Did you see me? Did you see? Before I had a practice one but this one’s for real!” Xiao ran circles around everyone. “I look just like Father, now!” Getting dizzy from his running and spinning, he stops in front of Jiang Cheng.

“I wish I had seen it.” Jiang Cheng replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Still, he pats the boy’s head. “You look very grown up, by the way.” 

“Very much like a young master.” Wen Ning finally spoke up. He turned to Lan XiChen and Wei WuXian. “I should leave now.”

“What? Leave? You can’t leave yet. We still have the banquet and the—”

“Young Master Wei, Zewu-jun,” he bows to both and leaves without another word. Jiang Cheng’s outburst causing Wen Ning to leave is what fueled the fire. It was then that Lan WangJi approached, having left to pick up Mei from one of the servants as she had been absent from the ceremony…)

My brother has, with the increased interactions with Jiang WanYin, developed a rather strong protective instinct. Perhaps it is because he could never quite forgive Jiang WanYin for his actions or words of the past, or perhaps it is because they are as different as night and day, but in any case, the two cannot get along and WangJi often defends Wei WuXian or my nephew from even the slightest criticism as if it were an act of war. He noticed the upset look on Wei WuXian’s face and who caused it, which was enough to bring out his protectiveness. Or, rather, overprotectiveness. The four of us stood there in what I can only describe as an awkward silence— Wei WuXian and I hoping that the bitter stare-off that our brothers held would not result in any conflict. “Where is Wen Ning?” WangJi finally asks Wei WuXian, having either lost the stare-off or forfeited. 

“Jiang Cheng chased him off. Do you know, Lan Zhan, he says that he received no invitation? How can that be?”

“Regardless, Wen Ning was an invited guest. Fighting is prohibited in the—”
“Shut up! Who are you to lecture me, Hanguang-jun?”

Again, I tried to neutralize the situation by changing the subject. “We will discuss this at another time. Jiang WanYin, I apologize on behalf of the GusuLan sect for your lack of an invitation and having to wait for so long at the barrier. In the future, it will not happen again. Now, then, let’s go to the banquet hall, shall we?”

But my brother decided he wasn’t done with the Wen Ning situation. “Neither you nor Wen Ning are more important than the other. Both of you were our distinguished guests. To take out your anger on him, over anyone else, when both of you were to sit in equal places is both unjust and cruel.” 

Though I said nothing, Wei WuXian agreed with his husband’s viewpoint and announced that he would be going to find Wen Ning to invite him back in. 

Having been thoroughly admonished and offended, Jiang WanYin shouldered WangJi out of his way and left the Cloud Recesses, refusing to attend any further festivities on that day nor in the future. 

To be continued...the hour grows late and I can hardly keep my eyes open.

***

(Continued, 15th May)

We didn’t hear from Jiang WanYin in the weeks to follow, but admittedly I thought little of it. As I have already written in the past, my niece’s birth caused a lot of problems for both her own health as well as Wei WuXian’s, so I was under the impression that there would be no summer plans this year. Until one day, last week, when a letter from Yunmeng arrived with the usual invitation for my brother’s family to spend part of the summer there. However, this year, one name was added onto the invitation, and one was removed. Naturally, the addition of Mei meant inviting her, but… WangJi was formally disinvited from visiting. I do not wish to make assumptions, but for some reason, I gather that Wei WuXian was never made aware of that invitation, for about a week after that, a second invitation was hand delivered to Wei WuXian by a servant of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. This time, it was not specified who was or was not invited, but WangJi did not forget. 

I find Jiang WanYin to be one of the pettiest people I have ever met, but my brother matches him with stubbornness. Both lack the ability to forgive and forget, no matter what principles are taught to them. 

Should any additional information be relayed to me, I will continue to update this.

***

“What were you thinking, running off like that? You scared me half to death!” Xiao’s cheeks are squished between Wei WuXian’s hands and Wei WuXian kisses his forehead for the seventh time. For now, he’ll put aside the fact that there’s a crack going up the wall by the door due to how hard it was slammed the night before. “If you wanted to go on the boat, you should’ve asked a grown-up.”

“I’m sorry, Baba.” Xiao takes his hands and lowers them. “I was just… fwustrated.”

“Frustrated? You hear that, Lan Zhan? He was frustrated.”

Lan WangJi has looked frustrated himself, but he is clearly more concerned about his son than whatever he was going through. “Why are you frustrated?” He asks, smoothing his son’s hair back in place after Wei WuXian had ruffled it.

“‘Cause… ‘cause… Uncle Jiang didn’t wanna play anymore. He wasn’t even playin’ the game right at all!”

“Maybe he didn’t want to play.” Wei WuXian suggested. “Were you playing Princess Mei defeats the dragon, again? Without me? You see, Jiang Cheng doesn’t like that game. He likes other stuff, like fishing and archery.”

Xiao remains unconvinced. “He said to me, he said, if I wanted to play, then I should go home.”

Wei WuXian lifts him onto his hip and says, “I think you misunderstood his point. Anyway, you should never try to leave on your own. You could’ve gotten very hurt.”

“I wasn’t trying to leave.” Xiao informs him. “I was just standin’ on the boat ‘cause I was frustrated. Then it started moving by its own.”

It sounds doubtful. Incredibly unlikely. But the boy’s hardly ever lied before, especially not when repeatedly being asked about it. “What do you think, Lan Zhan?” 

“In any case, do not get into a boat by yourself anymore.”

“Oh, I won’t, I won’t! It was so scary!”

“What were you scared of, huh?” Wei WuXian is already getting tired of carrying him. He’s not as small as he used to be, and Wei WuXian’s not as strong as he used to be, and he keeps forgetting that. “Getting lost? The boat sinking? Or—”

“The Yiling Patriarch.”

Lan WangJi nearly spits out his tea, but it’s Wei WuXian who has the immediate reaction. “What do you mean, Yiling Patriarch? Is he a mermaid now? Was he swimming towards you in the river? Were his scales black as night? Did he—”
“Wei Ying.”

“What? Didn’t I tell  you, my dear, that we encountered a peddler selling awful pictures of m— of the Yiling Patriarch, that scared your son half to death?”

“Do not encourage it.”

“Bah.” Wei WuXian sits on the table beside Lan WangJi and puts their son down in front of him. “So, why were you scared of him?”

And it is then that Xiao quickly explains how he’d stolen a few of the awfully drawn pictures that day. The first, he left in his room and then saw the claw by the window. The second was left in the boat, which he found shortly after taking off. No sooner did he pick it up than did he hear a loud thump under the boat, and based off stories he’d heard before, there were water demons that could overturn his boat, which must be controlled by the Yiling Patriarch… who eats children, and since he was all alone, he must have definitely been after him!

When he first heard that Xiao was startled by the Yiling Patriarch, he found it kind of funny. But now, hearing how much it had affected him all these days later, it wasn’t funny anymore. He didn’t care about the peddler selling the pictures. What bothered him was that Xiao had no idea that the Yiling Patriarch was a real person, was him . And if he knew, he’d be…

Would he be terrified? Would it be less frightening if he knew a lot of those stories were made up? Either way, it’s not something he should jump into without discussing it with Lan WangJi first…

“Many of the stories about the Yiling Patriarch are largely fabricated.” Lan WangJi assures him in that gentle tone of his, the one that he only uses with the children that Wei WuXian is head-over-heels for. Huh. I guess the discussion part isn’t needed. 

“What does that mean?” Xiao asks, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

“Made up. The Yiling Patriarch was a real person. He did not eat children. He protected them.”

“Protected them?”

“Mn. And the bad ones, he planted in the ground alongside the radishes.”
“Lan Zhan…” Wei WuXian knows he’s just teasing, but Xiao’s at an age where he’ll believe pretty much everything. Still, he leaves him be, because it’s easier than having to explain to Xiao about who the real Yiling Patriarch is at such a young age. 

“Maybe he was the one protecting me when I was in the water, then.” Xiao sits beside Lan WangJi and finally starts to eat his almost-cold breakfast, not minding the temperature due to his hunger. “Father, were you scared when I was gone?”

“Mn. Finish your breakfast, then talk after that.”

Wei WuXian sits at the opposite side of the table. “Say, Lan Zhan, I have a question. Did something happen last night between you and J-i-a—”
“No.” He answers far too quickly for that to be the truth. And judging by how angry he looked when he came into the room last night, he knows that Lan WangJi is lying. Terribly. 

“Should I ask him, instead? Did he offend you?”
“Wei Ying. Now is not the time.” 

So something did happen… 

Fist resting against his cheek, he gazes absentmindedly in the direction of his son, wondering how someone with such an even temper as Lan WangJi became so angry last night. Jiang Cheng must have truly said something awful, something he wouldn’t have dared to say before. 

“Uncle Jiang’s gonna be so mad that I broke his boat…” Xiao murmurs between mouthfuls. Holding back a smile, Wei WuXian reaches across to stroke his hair. “No, he won’t. I’m sure he’s just glad you’re alright.”

“How are we gonna go home now?”

“Why are you worried about going home, yet? We’ve still got plenty of time.” 

Xiao doesn’t look convinced, almost as if he had overheard something between his father and uncle… he makes a mental note to ask him about it if Lan WangJi won’t tell him what happened. He hates not knowing things. 

.

“Is it the time, now?” They are now seated on the steps outside their room overlooking the small courtyard while their two children are distracted by a rabbit that’d hopped by. The suspense is going to kill Wei WuXian if he doesn’t find out, so he decided to push the subject, “Seriously, Lan Zhan, if he said something cruel to you, I want to know about it. I want to fix it.”

“There is nothing to fix.”

Pulling an obvious pout, Wei WuXian leans against his husband and hugs his middle. “But I want to help you, Lan Zhan. When you look sad, I can’t help but to feel sad, too. Are you going to ruin my whole day now? Look what you do to me!” When not even pouting will work, he asks in a resigned tone, “What happened?”

Lan WangJi has no choice but to admit it, even though he knew that speaking about it around Wei WuXian could potentially cause an argument. “How did Jiang WanYin know about my…”

“Hahaha, your what? I swear I would never give him details on—”
“My scars.”

Wei WuXian’s mouth stays open. He’s frozen for a few seconds. He knows exactly how Jiang Cheng knows, and it’s entirely his fault. It slipped out a few years ago, but back then he asked that Jiang Cheng not tell anyone else about it. “Ah. That. I’m sorry, Lan Zhan, I—”

“Please do not tell anyone else about it.”

“What, did he make fun of you about it or something? That doesn’t sound like Jiang Cheng.”

“It is nothing, Wei Ying.”

“It’s bothering you, so it’s something. If you don’t tell me, I’ll ask him, and then I’ll beat him up.”

“That will never be necessary. I told Jiang WanYin…” 

“Why are you so nervous? It’s not like you ordered him to never speak to you again.”

But the silence confirms it. “Wait, you did…?”

“It is worse than that.”

“What could be worse than that? It’s not like you can order him not to speak to me, or to… Lan Zhan. You didn’t.”

“I let my emotions speak for me.”

“You can’t do that to him! You know how much he cares about Xiao. He didn’t mean for it to happen, and if anything it’s our fault for not knowing where our kid was all day!”

“I would not have said it if he was not so disrespectful. He truly had no manners.”

“He’s always been like that!”

“I cannot force myself to like him, Wei Ying. I try to be cordial, but we cannot be around each other. This is why we cannot spend the whole summer at Lotus Pier.”

“No, this is why you can’t. But I–“

“I cannot leave you for that long.”

“Then don’t. Lan Zhan! Think of how many months a year I spend at the Cloud Recesses without complaint. Why can’t you do the same for me, just this once? You don’t even have to talk to him, but you can be civil. And before you protest— think about what it would mean to me.” He reaches out to take Lan WangJi’s hand and squeezes it gently. 

***

In the main hall, Jiang Cheng has just received guests from the OuYang clan. But just minutes after everyone is seated, Xiao opens the doors and upon seeing the strangers, bows respectfully. 

The sect leader laughs. “Why, hello there, little one. You’re a long way from Gusu, aren’t you?”

He blushes slightly. “Yes, mister.”

“This child looks so much like Sect Leader Lan and Hanguang-jun. Haha, what is he doing here?”

Could he reveal that he and Wei WuXian were on talking terms again? Of course not. “I do not know. Perhaps he wandered away from his parents.”

Xiao giggles. “Nooo, remember? You sent the inbitation, so Baba packed us up and we came on the boat, the boat you got me, renemer?”

“I remember. Go play, okay? I’m very busy today.”

“I’ll be quiet! I’ll just sit right here.” He seats himself beside his uncle and starts to color in a drawing he’d been working on, using the colored pencils he was given for his birthday. 

Jiang Cheng sighs. “You’ll have to forgive him. He’s impossible to say ‘no’ to.”

“He’s no trouble. But I am curious! Do you babysit for all of the major sects? My grandson is about his age, and I’d like for him to get out of my hair—”
“I’m not his babysitter.” Jiang Cheng huffs. “He’s just staying for a few weeks.”

“Have I met his parents? No, wait, I remember now! You’re Hanguang-jun’s little boy, aren’t you? My son attended your birthday celebrations last spring! You got on quite well with my grandson, though he’s a bit younger than you.” 

Xiao shrugs, being unsure of who the man is referring to. 

“You’re not sure if you’re Hanguang-jun’s boy? No, I know! The similarities are astounding. It is like a mirror image. And speak of the man—” Lan WangJi had knocked and one of the servants pulled open the door. Jiang Cheng sat up straight, spoke slowly, “Xiao, go with your dad.”

Xiao doesn’t need to be told twice in this situation. “Father! Look, mister,” He drags Lan WangJi forward until he’s in front of the sect leader. “This is my dad! His name is Lan Zhan.” Jiang Cheng stifles a laugh. Of course he’d think Lan WangJi was to be introduced as “Lan Zhan”, because that’s all Wei WuXian calls him. 

“How are you, Hanguang-jun? It is good to see that you’ve finally settled down.”

This man was one of the many who attempted a second siege against Wei WuXian just two decades ago, but Lan WangJi hasn’t forgotten. He’s thankful to the sect leader’s son for intervening on Wei WuXian’s behalf back then, but refuses to do any business with the man. Turning to Jiang Cheng, he says, “I apologize for the interruption.” 

Jiang Cheng does not respond to him. When the door closes, he continues with his meeting as if nothing had happened. 

“Cold as he always was, isn’t he? But seriously, what is someone like him doing here?”

“Just passing through. Enough about him.”

.

“Why can’t I stay in there with Uncle?” Xiao lifts the hem of his robes to not get them wet as they walk down towards the river. The sky is cloudy, and the humidity makes him feel sticky. He stares at the cool river’s waters longingly, knowing that Lan WangJi would never let him go swimming around so many people when it is against their rules to get their robes wet. (He can only break that rule at the country home, but he’s not supposed to tell anyone that). “He always lets me… where are we going?”

Lan WangJi pauses, staring out at the water. “Yesterday, when you wrecked your new boat, how far did you have to swim to reach the island?”

“I didn’t have to swim. I could stand in the water.” Xiao frowns at the memory. “Why?”

“What is missing right now from your robes?” 

Xiao looks down and shrugs at his usual blue and white garments, until he notices that his tassel around his waist is missing a certain weight. “Hey, where’d my jade token go? Do you have it?”

“I do not. It must have fallen off either in the boat or on the island. We must find it.”

Xiao was only given the token recently and typically took very good care of it. It made him feel very grown up to have it, and now he lost it so easily. It’d be fine if he lost his forehead ribbon. But this token was like a key to get in and out of the Cloud Recesses, and if it fell into the wrong hands...“I’m sorry, Father.” 

“It’s fine, even if we don’t find it. I’ll just need your help rowing the boat.”

“Yeah, I can do that!”

Wei WuXian looks on when the father and son set sail in search of the jade token, his daughter asleep against his shoulder. They’ve never done anything together at Lotus Pier before. Perhaps if Lan WangJi could learn to at least like this place on his own, he wouldn’t want to leave it so badly. But the real roadblock is the fact that he and Jiang Cheng undoubtedly hate each other. If Yanli was still here, she could find some way for the two of them to get along. Either by ordering them to or finding some sort of middle ground for them. Wei WuXian has no idea how to do that. Hell, not even Zewu-jun can force Lan WangJi into getting along with his brother, as far as he’s seen. So, how can he? 

Lan WangJi would do anything he asked for, and he’s never outright asked his husband to be nice to Jiang Cheng. He’s only ever asked for them not to argue, which is a useless request if they aren’t supposed to get along. No, Lan WangJi doesn’t understand how serious this situation is getting. If Wei WuXian could turn on the waterworks, that would be enough for Lan WangJi to be civil to Jiang Cheng for the rest of the summer. But it’s a two way street. He’ll need Jiang Cheng to comply, to understand that if he and Lan WangJi don’t start being civil, it will become increasingly harder and eventually impossible for Xiao, or any of them, for that matter, to make visits to Lotus Pier. And nobody really wants that. 

“What do you think, Mei? Should we find Uncle Jiang and beg him to be nice, or should we ask Father first?’

***

It rained heavily last night, so the probability of finding the token on this mudpit of an island is like finding a needle in a haystack. Still, Lan WangJi doesn’t like the idea of permanently losing the token and has to hope that they can find it. After the two search the wrecked boat, they find nothing and are left with no choice but to check the island. 

“It’s really muddy.”

Lan WangJi removes his boots and ties up his robes around his middle. “I know.”

“Can I help?”
“Take your shoes off, first. Be careful not to slip.”

Lan WangJi takes careful steps, but inevitably, mud still ends up on his trousers, and knowing that he cannot simply comb the surface, he resigns and crouches, allowing mud to seep into his clothes. “Look on the other side.”

“Okay!” 

Xiao does look, but he can’t help but to be distracted at how muddy his father is getting and how he doesn’t seem to care at all. And to think, his robes are all white. 

“Father?”
“Mn.”

“Your sleeves are getting all muddy.”

“It’s fine.” 

After another few minutes of searching in the sweltering hot, humid air, Lan WangJi holds up a jade token covered in mud and Xiao is visibly relieved. “Be more careful next time.” 

“I will! Thank you, Father.”

He helps Xiao back into their boat, but instead of pushing off of the shore, he removes his outer robes, leaving him just in his trousers and a thin inner shirt. “Wait here until I say.”

“For wh—”

Lan WangJi dives off the boat at the deeper side and soon resurfaces, wiping the water from his face, his hair pooling around him. He stands up in the water, which is up to his chest, and extends his arms. “Jump in. I’ll catch you.” 

Someone older might have stopped and marveled on the unusual scene, but Xiao didn’t really care about such things. He hesitated for the briefest of moments before plugging his nose and springing off the side of the boat, because he is Wei WuXian’s son and never misses out on a bit of fun. Lan WangJi let him go underwater but kept his arms in reach so Xiao could pull himself up. “The water’s so cold!” He exclaims, kicking his legs to stay afloat (while still clinging to one of Lan WangJi’s arms). “C-Colder than… than the cold springs at home!”

“Do you want to get out?” He asks as he wipes a bit of mud from his son’s cheek. 

“N-No! It’s so hot today, I’m gonna melt!” 

“Me too,” Lan WangJi admits. He props Xiao up onto the side of the boat. “Jump again. I’ll be standing a bit further back this time.” 

“Are you still gonna catch me?”

“I will. But try to swim a bit to me, underwater. Just like last time, just a bit farther. Can you do it?”

Xiao nods slowly. “I think so… I’m not scared!” 

“It’s okay to be scared, as long as you can overcome your fear.”

“Okay… okay. Uhh…” Looking at the distance between them now that Lan WangJi took two more steps backwards, he’s not as confident. “Count to three? Then… then I’ll do it.” 

“Alright. One-two—”
“That’s too fast! Count it normal.” 

Lan WangJi smiles with a slight shake of his head and counts slower as instructed. Squeezing his eyes shut, Xiao jumps as far forward as he can, but it’s still a foot or two away from where Lan WangJi is standing. He can swim just fine when he isn’t afraid, but this time he surfaces in that very spot and frantically reaches for his father, being too scared to swim from before, all due to that small space between them. Lan WangJi isn’t going to scare him or make him swim further anyway. He pulls Xiao into his arms, not caring at how tightly his neck is gripped. “I’m still scared… I thought… I thought you were too far away. And- and you weren’t gonna reach me… and I was gonna sink right to the bottom!” 

“No, no, that would never happen.” Lan WangJi wades back to the boat and climbs aboard to sit on the edge with his feet dipped in the water. “No matter what, I will always be here.” Xiao only hugs him tighter, saying nothing. Something tells him that it isn’t fear that’s bothering him anymore.

“Why are you so quiet?” Lan WangJi asks after a few more minutes. They found the token, thankfully, so there was no reason for Xiao to feel guilty or unhappy. 

“I’m sorry I made you and Uncle fight.” He says with a pout that’s all Wei WuXian. “I made uncle Jiang and Uncle XiChen fight too. I make everybody fight.”

Lan WangJi’s eyes widen. “That’s not true.”

“Then how come everybody only fights about me? You and Baba fight about me, you and Uncle Jiang fight about me, Uncle Jiang fights with Uncle XiChen about me, too!”

“I am sorry you had to hear any of it. It’s not really about you. It is… grown up matters. You haven’t done anything wrong. I have.”

“What?”

Lan WangJi helps his son to his feet so they are eye to-eye. “Baba told you that sometimes, no one is right and no one is wrong? That sometimes, people simply do not agree?”
“Yeah… is that what happened with you and Uncle Jiang?”
“Exactly so.” 

“So what… do you not…”
“Agree on? A few, small things.” 

“Then why are you always so mad at each other?”

“A few small things can become one large thing.”

“But… you’re family. You should forgive each other.” But, we are not, and we never—

What difference do matters such as that matter to a five year old? He just wants everyone to be happy. His viewpoint is the same as Lan XiChen and Wei WuXian. If only himself and Jiang Cheng could catch on. “You are right.”

When they make it to the docks later that day, Lan WangJi makes sure to tie off the boat firmly. “Let’s get something to eat before we go back.”

“Ooh! I’m starved!”
“Choose whatever you’d like.” 

At one of the vendors, Wei WuXian had a similar idea and was already ordering something for himself. But he wasn’t alone. To his horror, Lan WangJi’s dear older brother was standing by him. He was under the impression that Lan XiChen had already gone back to Gusu… but perhaps he’d stuck around for other reasons. His brother did have a life of his own, after all, and Lan WangJi didn’t know all the things he got up to when he wasn’t around, and he didn’t care to. 

“I’ll see what I can do. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Young Master Wei.” Lan WangJi wondered if he was to receive a lecture later on in the day, but there was no time to think of it now. “Xiao-Xiao! Did you find your jade token?” Wei WuXian purposefully calls them out, having already known they were there. 

“Yeah, it was stuck in the mud. But I washed it off and Father tied it back on.”

“Good. Are you hungry?” 

“Yeah, really hungry. I haven’t eaten since breakfast!” He grabs the warmed biscuit out of Wei WuXian’s hand and takes a big bite out of it, then moving onto taking a spoonful of soup from him. “Mmm… I wish we had this all the time! It’s so yummy…”

“Apparently it’s a Lotus Pier specialty. Perhaps your Uncle Jiang knows the recipe? He could probably teach you…” Wei WuXian doesn’t mind the fact that there’s a bite taken out of the biscuit and starts to eat it himself, holding it just out of Mei’s reach. 

“Yeah! But… Father says I can’t cook by my own ‘cause that’s dangerous.” 

Wei WuXian accepts the next part of his order and nudges Lan XiChen. “Ah! Right, well… perhaps Jiang WanYin could teach you and your father. You should ask him.” 

“And we could all three make it together! Father, try this!” He reaches up to Lan WangJi with a spoonful. “Try it! It’s great, right? We can make some with Uncle Jiang for when we go home!” 

To everyone’s surprise, Lan WangJi nods and says, “That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Looking between his husband and son, Wei WuXian pinches his lips together to hold back a smile. He finds himself retying his hair. 

The group sit under a tree by the docks with their lunch; Lan XiChen being the only one who can coax the baby into eating while Xiao scarfs down anything put in front of him. “What brought you back to Yunmeng, Brother?”
“I never left.” He eases a spoonful of rice into Mei’s mouth, relieved when she doesn’t spit any. “The juniors are on a hunt nearby, so I thought I’d stick around in case they needed any help.”

“In the Yunmeng Jiang Sect’s territory?” Wei WuXian asks.

“No, it is on the border.— Great job, Mei!” He says once she has swallowed all the rice. He’s been like a mother hen to her ever since her birth. It’s both cute and relieving, as Mei isn’t usually the happiest of babies, but you’d never be able to tell when Lan XiChen is around. She truly favors him.

“Did SiZhui go with them?” Wei WuXian won’t lie, he’s been longing to go out on a night hunt for a while now, but has never had the chance to. He would never go someplace incredibly risky and he knows his limits, but it’s always a good learning experience for the juniors, who look up to him so much. 

“I believe so. Young Master Jin has grouped up with them as well. He was on his way to Lotus Pier when he heard about the night hunt, and you know they are the best of friends…”

“It’ll be good to see him.”

“He sent so many presents on my birthday. My favorite was the bird. Too bad the cat ate it.”

Wei WuXian laughs, covering his mouth to keep from spitting. Yes, the kitten they’d given their son on his second birthday ended up eating the canary he was given for his fifth birthday within days. They never told Jin Ling about it. Jin Ling never told them how desperate he was to get rid of the bird as it was a gift from Nie Huaisang that never shut up in its cage and therefore would never care if it died or was set free. 

“Pets don’t really belong at the Cloud Recesses. Rabbits are okay, but birds don’t belong in cages, do they?”

“No, cause they can’t even fly in there. I just wish he wasn’t eaten. I cried for like three hours.”

“It’s true. He was inconsolable.” Wei WuXian pinches his son’s cheek. “I told him we’d buy him another but he refused out of guilt. He felt he could never protect a bird against the cat again. Snowball has yet to be forgiven.”

“I put her in time out at home.” Xiao adds. “She’s gonna stay there until winter!”

Mei babbles in response at his excited exclamation, kicking the spoon out of Lan XiChen’s hand. Because she laughs, nobody thinks about scolding her. 

“What are you all up to? The food at these vendors is nothing compared to our cooks within. Why do you waste your money?” In truth, Jiang Cheng has been watching them for a few minutes, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to approach them. Eventually, he realized it’d look ridiculous to stand in one place for so long and went ahead and spoke up. 

“Because we’re hungry !” Xiao replies. “Father and I went swimmin’ all morning and I didn’t eat all my breakfast, so I’m gonna eat more than three bowls of this really yummy soup ‘cause of it!”

“What soup?”
“Lotus rib. Nothing compared to Shijie’s.” Wei WuXian hasn’t eaten more than a spoonful of his own.

“Well, that’s to be expected.” Hand on his hip, Jiang Cheng watches the lot of them for a moment. “I haven’t found anyone who can make lotus rib soup nearly as good as she could.”

“WangJi can cook it quite well.” Lan XiChen speaks up as he has finished eating. “He’s prepared it for us on several occasions over the past year. In any case, it’s better than this one.” 

“Oh really?” He huffs. “I’d like to see that.”

***

“If you don’t get up, I’m going to dump this bowl right on your face.” It’s already noon , and Wei WuXian has yet to make an appearance out of his room. So naturally, Jiang Cheng burst into the room and spent the next ten minutes trying to get him out of bed.

“What bowl? Give me five minutes.”
“You said that ten minutes ago. Up. The soup’s getting cold!”

Wei WuXian sprung up. “Soup? What soup?”

“Can’t you tell? You better eat the whole thing for all the trouble you put me through.” 

“If it’s even edible.”

“Ha-ha. Do you think Hanguang-jun would appreciate you saying that? He’s the one that made it!”

.

Lan WangJi has been practicing lotus rib soup for years now, but it never quite tastes like his shijie’s. At this point, Wei WuXian has deduced exactly what is missing, and no amount of practice could ever fix it. What’s missing is that his shijie didn’t make it. That’s all. 

Still, sitting outdoors at Lotus Pier while enjoying the soup makes it less noticeable. 

“Sorry, WangJi. It’s been ages since I’ve so much as set foot in a kitchen,” Lan XiChen laughs softly. “I’ll clean up, and you can restart so the food will actually be edible.” 

“What are you making?” Jiang Cheng didn’t mean to startle them, but there really wasn’t a way around it.

Xiao is the first to reply. “We’re makin’ lotus rib soup for everyone!”
“Everyone?”

“Apologies for the noise, Jiang WanYin,” Lan XiChen lifts their nephew off of the counter. “We had hoped not to cause any trouble today.”

“It’s… it’s fine. How do you know how to make lotus rib soup?”

“Oh, I definitely don’t. I’m awful in the kitchen. But my brother here…”

Lan WangJi had just finished picking up the spilled vegetables from the ground. He set them on the counter and met Jiang Cheng’s eyes for only a moment. “Xiao, help your uncle rinse these off.” And just like that, he was back in his own world. But not for long. Jiang Cheng soon is standing by his side, and asks in quite possibly his nicest tone ever heard, “What can I do?” 

Lan WangJi turns to him with a surprised look on his face for the briefest of moments. He doesn’t know what to say. 

“Even I don’t know how to make lotus rib soup. If you just teach your brother, it’ll be a waste, because he can’t cook to save his life. I’m the one that’ll actually appreciate it. What can I do?” 

This is how the lotus rib soup came to be, which was actually far better than anything the servants had attempted in the past when Jiang Cheng was particularly missing his sister. And now, here he is eating it alongside the most unlikely of companions: four members of the Gusu Lan clan. His sister once said that food has the power to do a lot more than just feed people; it has the ability to bring people together. He felt that it was an exaggeration. After all, it didn’t keep his parents together. But now… he might be starting to understand what she was trying to tell him. Perhaps lotus rib soup can only take them part of the way, but it’s a start. Besides, he hasn’t seen Wei WuXian look so ridiculously happy in a very long time.

.

“Your brother is quite the cook, Lan XiChen…” Because he couldn’t say it to Lan WangJi directly, he thought it would be safe to talk to his brother instead. Everyone else had left the table; Lan WangJi to wash the dishes with his son and Wei WuXian because he wanted to tease and praise his husband for such a delicious meal. 

“Indeed. Before Mei was born, he had plenty of practice in cooking lotus rib soup; it was all Wei WuXian asked for. I’m surprised Yunmeng didn’t run out of lotus after all we had to import.”

“Ah. So that’s where it all went.” Jiang Cheng jokes (???). Am I actually being civil with these people again? What did they put in this soup? And it doesn’t end there. “That aside, I shouldn’t have acted so jealous when you were here before.”
“I was acting the same way, Jiang WanYin.”

“He doesn’t belong to either of us, especially not to me. It’s just…” Why am I pouring out my emotions to someone I’m not even related to? Why can’t I stop myself? “...besides A-Ling, I don’t have any other family left. So when I was given the chance to be in Xiao’s life, I was afraid that if I—” 

“You still don’t consider Wei WuXian to be your brother, after all this time?”

Jiang Cheng looks up at him. “What would the world say about that? Xiao is a good middle ground.”

“Hm. Do you know, when WangJi first married Young Master Wei, I received dozens of letters from various people urging me to turn him out, asking what I was thinking, if my mental state was stable enough to lead the sect due to the death of my friend… and yet, I replied to every single one. I told them that Young Master Wei was a member of our clan now and would be entitled to the respect that would be given to any other member. If not, he would be protected as fiercely as any other.” 

“I’m sure no one was happy about that response.”

“It didn’t matter. It meant too much to my brother, and I would do anything for him; be it defending his spouse against the rest of the world or anything else. And since then, most have stopped trying to change my mind about it. Most don’t care anymore.”

“I don’t mind Wei WuXian. We were raised together, so how could I? But there’s only so much I can do. I can’t invite him back to my sect, he belongs to yours.”

“But you can defend him. You can call him your brother, or at least admit to yourself that you never stopped seeing him as such.” Lan XiChen leans in a bit closer and says quietly, “He refers to you as his brother, every time you’ve written. He’s always eager to read your letters. They’re the highlight of his month.” 

“I didn’t… well, I knew his letters meant a lot. He needed someone to talk to, I gathered that much. But I never thought… after all this time…” 

“That he saw you as his brother? I figured as much. He’s never said it around you. Maybe you should say it to him, first.” 

“I’ll think about it. Oh, Lan XiChen, I was planning on having A-Ling over before the weekend. We were going to hold a banquet soon. Are you interested in attending?”“If we’ll be eating like we did today, then I wouldn’t dare to refuse.” 

“We’ll have to have Lan WangJi help the servants with the lotus rib soup. I’ll let the staff know to prepare a room for you. It wouldn’t make sense for you to go home in the mean time.” 

“Oh, that won’t be—”
“Of course it is.” 

***

He’s snuggled up to him now, having long since gone quiet. Just as Lan WangJi is about to drift off himself, Wei WuXian murmurs, “You didn’t have to do all that for me…”

“...Not just for you. Our son… confided in me, and I realized my mistake.”

“You’re a good dad.” Wei WuXian kisses his neck. “For putting him before anything else. And you’re a good husband too, for that same reason. We’re lucky...”

“Wei Ying…”

“I know, I know, go to sleep, it’s past curfew.” Wei WuXian props himself up on his elbow and stares down at Lan WangJi with absolute fondness for a few moments. “Goodnight then.”

With a finger under his chin, Lan WangJi leans in and kisses Wei WuXian so softly that Wei WuXian feels like his heart is literally melting. Lan WangJi pulls him into his arms again, closer than before, and bids him goodnight. “These past few days, Lan Zhan, they’ve been really great. I hope that we can continue that when you get back.”
“Mn. I feel the same way.” A kiss on the forehead, and he slowly pulls away, but Wei WuXian immediately draws him back. “No~ stay close to me~”

“I am close to you…”

“Closer~”

A small laugh escapes Lan WangJi’s lips and Wei WuXian is so in love. He cups Lan WangJi’s cheeks and kisses him slowly. “Lan Zhan. Our two troublemakers are fast asleep but this troublemaker is becoming more and more awake. Come outside with me, I want to show you something.”

“Mn…”

So the two walk as silently as possible across the room— as even the slightest noise will wake the children (Mei especially) and their attempts to leave would all be in vain. Wei WuXian slowly closes the door and breathes a sigh of relief when there’s no noise from the other side. “Mei’s had such a good day today, so hopefully she’ll get a good night’s rest.” He finally says once they’re a safe distance from their room. “She really favors your brother. You know how some animals imprint on those they think is their mother? He was the first to hold her. I think that’s what happened.” He’s partially teasing, but he really doesn’t mind Mei’s attachment to Lan XiChen. After such a turbulent few months of life, he’s happy when she’s happy. 

They walk out into an open field that’s filled with wild wheat grass. Fireflies linger here and there, but that’s only part of what Wei WuXian wants to show him. “Lie down here, Lan Zhan, and look up.” Lan WangJi does as asked, but instead of lying beside him, Wei WuXian rests his head on his chest. Here, they have an unobstructed view of the stars. One might think that in the Cloud Recesses, so high up, there would be an incredible view of the stars. And in some places, if you went out after curfew, there is. But many places are obstructed by trees, especially their home. Not to mention, you can’t get a true view of the stars before nine o’clock anyway, and Lan WangJi won’t be caught outside after such a time— though he’d stay up half the night indoors, anyway. 

But here, such a rule doesn’t exist. And the stars are vast and beautiful. Kind of, no, really romantic. Especially because Lan WangJi takes the hand that Wei WuXian had on his chest and holds it gently. “It’s kind of nice, isn’t it?”

“Mn.”
“It’s no Cloud Recesses, and it’s hot and humid, but… I like it here. I like being able to visit again. For so long, I… I never thought I could. Yet, here we are.” 

“I hope, in the years to come, it is even more pleasant. For all of us.” 

Wei WuXian glances up at him, a content smile ghosting his lips. “Today was a start. Now, for tomorrow, we can—” They are distracted by a loud explosion of color in the sky— blue, in a familiar emblem. It’s the flare that disciples of the Cloud Recesses fire when things go south, when they need help.

Both of them spring to their feet. “Well, Lan Zhan, it looks like our elder son remembered his flares this time.”

***

I want what he has. 

The thought wakes Jiang Cheng from a fitful sleep. After all this time, the truth has come to the surface. 

Okay, he doesn’t want exactly what Wei WuXian has. He doesn’t look at Lan WangJi that way, for starters, and spending even half a year at the Cloud Recesses sounds awful. 

And right now, he’s at least half sure that he’s not homosexual, besides, but at this point, he knows better than to be too picky. 

Part of him feels like he’ll never love anyone even remotely as much as Wei WuXian loves Lan WangJi, or vice versa. That a love like theirs is a rarity on this earth. But to have something like that for himself is all he’s really thought about during the months of the year that he is alone, yet he can’t shake the feeling that it’s not possible for him to experience love for himself. That no one would ever want him like that after how unpleasant he’d been for more than twenty years now. 

What can he do at this point to fix any of that? Opening his heart even a sliver for his nephew was difficult enough at the time, but he wanted to do that more than anything and fought through it. His nephew was like a bridge between himself and Wei WuXian, so he could be close enough to still know him but far enough not to be in too much pain from the past. But to open it completely for a whole person, to be vulnerable with them and dare to love with his whole heart? It sounds… really hard. Really painful. He’s not sure he’s ready to do such a thing. 

He thinks that Lan XiChen is in a similar boat. After all, he’s never so much as mentioned getting married, but there’s an undoubtable look of longing that he’s caught every now and then when Lan XiChen is watching his nephew. It hasn’t been as strong recently as he’s been almost solely looking after the young orphan they’d found the winter before, but it’s still there. But to try and convince anyone, man or woman to be appealed at the idea of living in such a strict and cold place, is no simple task. Only a numbskull like Wei WuXian would agree to it, and he’s one in a million.

A familiar sound of fireworks startles him only because he recognizes it to be one of his nephew's flares. As he looks out the window, he sees blue and gold exploding across the sky and knows that his beloved nephew needs his help. He's gone in seconds.

Chapter Text

By the time the third flare has launched, Jin Ling has settled his friend in a tree a few yards away from most of the chaos. He should be down there helping the others, but when Lan SiZhui is hurt, he prefers to be the one to take care of him, as no one else will be brave enough to tell Hanguang-jun and Senior Wei what happened. “Hopefully someone saw that. You should be safe here, SiZhui.” Jin Ling says quietly. “How’s your injury?” 

“It’s… ah—” Lan SiZhui flinches when he tries to move. “It’ll be alright.” But there is a lot of blood, and Jin Ling is squeamish. Both of their robes are stained with it. 

“Hey! I remembered… Hanguang-jun and Wei WuXian are at Lotus Pier right now. They’ll probably be the one to come to your assistance.”

“I’m twenty-four years old…” Lan SiZhui says, “Wouldn’t you find that embarrassing, too?” 

“No. Maybe if my uncle came, but… if I had parents like you do, I wouldn’t turn down any chance to see them. And besides, Wei WuXian is good at these sorts of things. Even if you weren’t injured, it’d be good to have him here.” 

“Maybe so…”

“You’re pale, SiZhui.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a bit of nausea.” 

“If you have to throw up, just make sure to aim for JingYi.”

“Don’t make me laugh, my stomach hurts…” 

Nearby, they hear the familiar strumming of a guqin and both breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Hey, SiZhui, are you falling asleep on me? Stay awake. Tell me about those two gremlin siblings you have. The baby’s gonna be one in a couple months right? What’s she been up to?”

Lan SiZhui nods, eyes drooping shut, his face pale as a sheet. 

“Are you ignoring me? Don’t ignore me! Xiao’s learning the guqin, right? Can he play anything yet?”

“I’m tired, Jin Ling.” 

“I don’t care! Keep talking, or I’ll push you out of this tree.” 

“Xiao’s doing fine, Jin Ling,” He murmurs, “You already know that.”

“What’s he learning about over in the Cloud Recesses? Has he memorized the rules yet? You know, I’d been meaning to visit. I hadn’t gotten the chance.” 

Lan SiZhui’s head bows, and Jin Ling is panicking. “Enough with the guqin!” He shouts. But he’s not loud enough to get anyone’s attention. He slings Lan SiZhui over his shoulder, doing his best to mind his injury, and leaps down from the tree. “Hanguang-jun, Hanguang-jun!”

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng is at his nephew’s side. After helping him move Lan SiZhui from his shoulder, he scolds, “You call for Hanguang-jun and not me? Your own flesh and blood? Tsk. Take him back to Lotus Pier if you’re not going to help anyone here.”
“It’s not like that, Uncle. I just thought—”

“Forget it. Do what I said.” 

The two carry Lan SiZhui towards the river and find that Lan WangJi has already completely shut down the situation in this particular spot. Jiang Cheng frowns. “Did you even give the juniors a chance?”
“They had their chance. They requested assistance, and I gave it.” He kneels by Lan SiZhui and checks his pulse. “Jin Ling, what happened?”
“These juniors all suck. He had to keep stopping and helping them, and when his back was turned… one of them…” Jin Ling stops, it’s pointless to say what’s so obvious in front of them. “I tried to keep him awake. Hanguang-jun, I’m…”
“Don’t apologize to him.” Jiang Cheng snaps. “Take him back to Lotus Pier with Lan WangJi. I’ll take care of the remnants.”

“Take him with JingYi.” Lan WangJi says to Jin Ling. “I will investigate the cause. And speak to the other juniors.”
“I said I can handle it.” 

“This isn’t your concern, Jiang WanYin.” Lan WangJi stands up. The two are eye-to-eye.

“Not my concern? My fucking nephew sent the damn signal. This is much closer to my territory and ages away from yours. Not everything needs to be in your control.” 

“We’re wasting time. Jin Ling. Please take him now.”

“Okay.” As Lan JingYi had finally made his appearance, the two young men lifted their friend and carried him away, towards the river and the boats. But Jiang Cheng wasn’t done. “Who are you to boss around my nephew?” 

Lan WangJi ignores him and starts to walk away, but Jiang Cheng dares to put a hand (almost, to smack a hand) down onto his shoulder. “What did I ever do to you, mighty Hanguang-jun?” 

Lan WangJi calmly uses his sheathed sword to remove Jiang Cheng’s hand. “Your memory is well enough to remember every last thing Wei Ying has done to offend you. I am curious as to why it cannot remember why I dislike you.” 

“Believe me, Hanguang-jun, the feeling is mutual. If you weren’t married to Wei WuXian I would’ve long since beaten the fu—” In a flash, Lan WangJi unsheathes Bichen and stabs just beside Jiang Cheng where a loose corpse had come creeping up on them. Jiang Cheng pushes the corpse to the ground. “The fuck out of you.” He finishes. 

“I’d like to see you get halfway there, considering how that would ruin your chances with XiChen.” 

Jiang Cheng is left a stammering, angry mess for a few seconds, giving Lan WangJi the time to get a few feet away from him. “I’ll never understand what Wei WuXian sees in you! You’re boring, you constrict him to a point he can hardly breathe on his own, and furthermore you’re too strict with your kids!”

“How I discipline and raise my children is none of your concern.”

“Someone had to say it or you’d never get off your pretentious high horse! There’s no way Wei WuXian isn’t miserable with you. He’d say it if he wasn’t scared of being alone. Why don’t you go back to Gusu and—”

Lan WangJi is about to unsheathe Bichen again when he remembers how happy Wei WuXian was earlier because of the two in laws’ being civil. How he hoped for even better days to come. Jiang Cheng’s words hurt, but he didn’t know their relationship. He only sees what he chooses to. And Lan WangJi is not going to jeopardize Wei WuXian’s happiness just to satisfy his urge to sock Jiang Cheng in the jaw. He speaks in a calm tone, “I will only return to Gusu if Wei Ying wants me to.” He leaves Jiang Cheng without another word and goes to check in on the juniors, assess damage and clean up the mess.

Now, while this feud was going on, Wei WuXian was in a different place, dealing with a separate pack of corpses that the Jin clan had been thwarting off. The flute was amplified and he had no idea that there was any sort of conflict among them. In fact, if anything, he was thinking about how nice it was that the two of them would have this chance to work together, without Wei WuXian around to cause any pressure. They were never going to be friends, but the bond of a night hunt was a powerful thing, and he was sure that this was the start of a permanent peace between them. 

He led them towards the water, his back to the river as he took a step into the water, just to keep himself out of the way for the ‘grand finale’. The moon and stars were unusually bright that night. So bright that one could, for example, comfortably observe this scene from the docks at Lotus Pier and know exactly who they were looking at. And while they marvel at the fact that the Yiling Patriarch is less than a hundred feet from them— and maybe fear that fact, too. What’s weird is, the Yiling Patriarch is wearing the same pajamas that one of their parents was wearing earlier that night. They move closer to the edge of the dock to get a slightly closer look, and eventually, summoning his courage, climbs into one of the boats for an even better view. Their music is intriguing, unlike anything they’ve ever heard before. It lures those… whatever those things are… closer and closer to him. 

“Careful, Yiling Patriarch…” They— a small child, perhaps no older than five years old— whispers, fingers crossed and praying that the Yiling Patriarch will escape the creatures. They look human, but there’s something odd about the way they move and sound. Their clothes are torn and their hair is matted. This child has never seen anything like it. 

Wait.

Yes he has!

It’s fuzzy in his memory, but… 

He recalls an incident last summer when Uncle Jiang took him to a fishing spot upstream, and Uncle XiChen was there too (Uncle XiChen was always taking care of him during that time, because Wei WuXian was very sick). It was a long walk and his legs got tired, so he had to be carried the rest of the way. They fished and swam and ate and eventually he grew tired and fell asleep on the warm sand without a care in the world. He woke up to an awful sounding scream, and in the distance he saw a strange, mangy looking person who was immediately hit by Uncle Jiang’s Zidian, and then they disappeared. He asked about it back then, and he was told it was just a crazy person.

But there can’t be that many crazy people. 

And suddenly he’s scared. They make awful noises. Noises that could give anyone nightmares. 

He saw his parents run to that area after the pretty fireworks, and they haven’t come back yet. What if those monsters ate them? What if they’re not going to come back? Why hasn’t the Yiling Patriarch defeated them? 

“Da-feat them, Yiling Laozu!!!” He calls across the water.

All at once, everything is quiet. 

The Yiling Patriarch drops his flute and turns to face him. He’s too far away to see clearly, but there’s something familiar about him. “What are you doing out of bed? Go back to your room right now!” 

Xiao is so shocked that he stumbles backwards. This can’t be. This can’t be!

But Wei WuXian resumes his flute playing and suddenly the corpses burst into a billion pieces and it’s real and the most shocking thing that his otherwise-tranquil five years has ever experienced. He doesn’t know why his eyes fill with tears, why instead of fear that there’s this unfamiliar emotion, something like shame, burning up inside him. How many times has he heard the older children say such terrible things about the Yiling Patriarch, not having any idea that his baba liked him so much and even dressed as him sometimes! How embarrassing!

Running as fast as his legs can carry them, he makes it back to his room in record time and climbs into bed, so that by the time Wei WuXian comes back into the room, he has the impression that Xiao’s already asleep. 

***

Wei WuXian wakes up a few hours later and heads down to the doctor’s pavillion. Lan SiZhui is doing much better than he was the night before. Apparently, he does very poorly with blood loss, a trait that a select few Wen’s from the Burial Mounds also had. But now that there’s sugar in his system and he’s had a chance to rest, he’s doing much better. Wei WuXian sits at his bedside until he wakes up again. Jin Ling has his head resting against the wall, having long since fallen asleep, and Lan JingYi is accidentally leaning against him in his sleep as well. It’s not a surprise, really, since the three are inseparable, even as adults.

“Senior Wei…”

Wei WuXian rests the back of his hand against Lan SiZhui’s forehead, frowning, “Are you feeling better? Do you want breakfast?”

“I’m fine… I don’t really feel like eating.”
“You should drink water, at least. I’ll get you some. This is a good lesson, SiZhui. Don’t turn your back during a night hunt, okay? I understand that you were trying to help that sorry group of juniors, but don’t keep scaring me like that. I have a weak constitution.” Minding his son’s injury, he hugs him tightly for a few moments. “SiZhui, I don’t know what to do…”

“Huh? What do you mean? You can go rest, Senior Wei, I’ll be alright.”

“No, not that. I know you’ll be alright, you’re all grown-up now and are almost good at taking care of yourself.” Wei WuXian sits on the edge of the bed. “It’s Xiao. He saw me last night with the corpses. I think he knows that I’m…”

“Has he said anything?”
“He was asleep when I got back.” 

“But you saw him…?”
“Yes, I saw him on the docks. He even called me Yiling Laozu… so I know he has to know. I didn’t tell your Hanguang-jun yet, because he’s been insufferable since last night. You know, I even heard him and Zewu-jun having what I can only describe as the Gusu-Lan version of an argument… so I didn’t want to bother him.” 

“Ah… well, Senior Wei, JingYi told me earlier that there had been a… disagreement between Hanguang-jun and Sect Leader Jiang.”

“What? Impossible. What would they have to argue over?”

“Senior Wei… this is Sect Leader Jiang we’re talking about. He can always find something to argue about.” 

“I hope you’re wrong about this. Remind me to talk to him later, okay? I need to deal with Xiao first. He’ll probably be awake soon.”

“Just be honest with him, Senior Wei… and try not to baby him too much or feel guilty. If I were him, I’d want to know the truth.”

***

Things are painfully awkward at breakfast, as Wei WuXian insisted that everyone ate together again. But Jiang Cheng can’t even look in Lan WangJi’s direction without scowling, or at Lan XiChen at all. Worst of all, the banquet is just two days away. At this rate, it will be a bigger disaster than last night. Can he skip the banquet, skip the rest of the summer right up until the part where he watches this circus depart from the docks back to Gusu? 

“Jiang WanYin, what do you think about the intensity of the hunt from last night? It’s been a long time since such things have happened, especially in this area.” Lan XiChen tries to make conversation as he feeds a spoonful of oatmeal to Mei.

“Yes.” Jiang Cheng says, elaborating no further. Jin Ling laughs. “That’s it? I apologize, Zewu-jun. It appears that it’s too early for conversation.”

Lan XiChen smiles. “Ah, of course. I often forget that we do not operate on the same schedule here. In Gusu, breakfast is usually served at around five-thirty.”

“And I don’ like getting up at five-thirty, even to eat.” Xiao adds, still on the sleepy side. “Even when Father makes pancakes with blueberries.”
“You kidding? You always get up for pancakes and blueberries.” Wei WuXian says after taking a mouthful of eggs. “And you bounce off the walls at six o’clock, which is still really early, and jump on my bed.”

“‘Cause you don’t get up ‘til almost lunchtime!”
Jin Ling laughs out loud, and Wei WuXian feigns surprise. “I do not.” 

.

“I thought you two were getting along.” Wei WuXian says the moment Jiang Cheng is in earshot (after he’d been discreetly following Wei WuXian for at least a quarter mile). He is walking towards one of his many old hideouts with no intention of turning around. “I thought yesterday was a good start.”

“Just because we got along for a few hours—”

“You had nothing to argue about!”

“Wei WuXian. You have to understand that you were dead for thirteen years. I’ve known Lan WangJi for thirteen more years than you have. So I have every right to have this opinion of him.”

“He was mourning me those thirteen years, that wasn’t the real—”
“He’s the same as he was back then, just more unreasonable now. Did you know, he tried taking control of the entire situation last night, bossing Jin Ling around like he was in charge of him! If no one ever treats my nephew with respect, how will he ever be taken seriously as sect leader?”

“He had every right to tell Jin Ling what to do. They were just trying to help SiZhui, okay? Stop being such a baby. And stop following me.” 

But Jiang Cheng quickens his strides to catch up with him. “Are you blinded by love? Don’t you see how unpleasant of a person he is? How am I at fault for disliking him?”

“You’ve never given him a chance. I don’t know what you want from me, Jiang Cheng. Do you think I don’t know him as well as you do, and that I should take the kids and divorce him because you don’t like him? We’ve been married almost nine years, and I’ve never once had the idea cross my mind.”

“I never said that. Why don’t you just tell him to leave? That’s all I want.” 

“You’d hurt Zewu-jun’s feelings more than anybody else.”
“Oh, enough about him! What is it with you two and insinuating that I have some sort of relationship with Lan XiChen! I’ve hardly spoken to him these past nine years, let alone the twenty-five years I’ve been leader.”

Wei WuXian turns to look at him. “You can lie to yourself about that, Jiang WanYin, but I know you like him. It’s okay, I understand! These Lan’s are really just too good looking. It’s impossible not to—”
“Shut your damn mouth!” Perhaps fed up from the teasing or the abundance of unpleasant emotions today, he shoves Wei WuXian to the side. “Do you ever know when to stop talking? Can’t you mind your own business?” 

Wei WuXian pretends to be hurt, clutching his arm and slouching over a bit. When he doesn’t move or say anything, Jiang Cheng sighs, placing a hand on Wei WuXian’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to—” 

“You’re clueless!” Wei WuXian kicks his former brother in the stomach, sending him flying backwards. “You think I care if you like Lan Zhan or not? Can’t you just be a decent host? Did Shijie teach you nothing?!”

“You were faking it? I knew you weren’t as weak as they paint you out to be!” Jiang Cheng throws a few punches his way, each one blocked easily by Wei WuXian. 

“I don’t want to fight.”

“Then you shouldn’t have kicked me!”

“You shoved me first!”

“Because you wouldn’t shut up! I do not have feelings for Lan XiChen!”

“Then why do you only lose that grumpy face of yours when he’s around?” Wei WuXian bends backwards to avoid a punch and kicks Jiang Cheng again, in the same spot as before. “How do you explain that?”
“He has a very calming aura!” 

Wei WuXian pauses. “You have a point, there.” Wham ! Jiang Cheng rams the palm of his hand into Wei WuXian’s jaw, finally knocking him down.

“Uncle Jiang !” 

Fuck . 

He looks over his shoulder to see Xiao standing a few feet away, teary eyed and shocked at what he just saw. Of course, siblings spar from time to time, but he and Wei WuXian weren’t practicing. And he’s never seen them fight before. He runs to stand between the two. “Don’t hurt him anymore, Uncle Jiang!”

“Hurt him? He kicked me in the gut, twice!!”

“We were just sparring, little rabbit.” Wei WuXian struggles to his feet. “I’m not hurt. Thank you for trying to help, though.” 

“Your face has a bwuise on it.” 

“That can happen with sparring. But Uncle Jiang didn’t mean it, right?” 

Xiao glances up at his beloved uncle, questioningly. “I guess it was an accident.”

“Not exactly. You’ll understand when you’re older, if you ever spar with your brother. Hopefully you won’t lose every time like Wei WuXian.”
“Since when have I lost???” Wei WuXian says with a laugh, but Jiang Cheng is already walking away. Though there’s still a lot left to say, now is a perfect time to bring up the whole Yiling Patriarch incident of the night before. Xiao is staring up at him, as if he really came out here for that purpose. 

“Ah!” Wei WuXian lifts him onto his hip. “I’m glad you’re here. We need to talk about something, don’t we?” 

“About you pretending to be Yiling Laozu?”

Wei WuXian tilts his head. “Something like that. Wait, you think I was pretending to be Yiling Laozu?”
“You had to be pretending. ‘Cause Yiling Laozu is a monster.”

It feels like something punctures Wei WuXian’s heart. “A monster?”

“He’s not a person. Don’t you see how he looks in the pictures?”

“Didn’t I tell you that those pictures were drawn terribly? That’s not how he looks like, not at all!”

“But how do you know? They say Yiling Laozu died a long time ago.”

It’s now or never. Maybe he should’ve consulted Lan WangJi first, but this concerns Wei WuXian first and foremost. They can’t keep it from him forever. He was bound to find out one way or another one day, anyway, and he’ll likely hear a misconstrued version. So it’s better that the subject of the talk himself explains it. “Because… because, last night, I wasn’t pretending to be Yiling Laozu. Because a long time ago, long before you were born or I even loved Lan Zhan— I mean, Father— I was Yiling Laozu.” 

Xiao looks at his face for a long while. “You don’t have the same face as him. You can’t be him. You can’t be…”

“I’m sorry, but I—.”

“But- but—! They say Yiling Laozu killed people!”
“So did many other great cultivators.”

“They say he was a really bad person!”
“Maybe I was, once or twice.” 

“Everyone hates him! But nobody hates you!” 

Wei WuXian strokes his cheek, offering him nothing more than a sad smile.

“You’re not him, Baba, you’re nothing like him!” When Wei WuXian still doesn’t say anything, Xiao tries to squirm out of his hold. “Put me down, I don’t wanna talk anymore!”

“I know this is a lot to take in, but…” he sees his beloved child’s vulnerable expression, with something like fear in his eyes for the first time. It’s what Wei WuXian has always feared, and today, he is not strong enough to face it. So, he backs down. “I was just kidding!” 

Xiao pauses. “You were kidding?”

“Of course! How… how could I be someone like him, after all?”

The child looks visibly relieved. “Okay good, cause I was gonna start crying, actually…” he wipes at the corner of his eyes. “I have to go back now. Father said I needed a bath.”

“Then you should go. Sorry I teased you, little rabbit.”

.

“He told you that?” Lan WangJi runs a comb down the length of Xiao’s hair once it’s started to dry, deep in thought. 

“And I know he felt bad so he lied and said he was kiddin’. But last night I wasn’t even scared.”

“And you’re not scared now?”

“Just a little sad.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I know people say mean things about him all the time. So Baba must be embarrassed that he dresses like him so much…”

“What, dresses like him?”

“The Yiling Patriarch died , Father.”

“Do you not understand what I have told you?”

Xiao sighs, flopping back onto the bed. “I’m five and grown ups don’t make any sense. You say, ‘Baba’s the Yiling Patriarch’ but then everyone else says, ‘Oh, the Yiling Patriarch died blah blah blah’ and no one can die and then come back to life unless they look like Uncle Ning, you told me that—“

“I did say that. But while the Yiling Patriarch—“

The man in question slides open the door, his baby daughter sound asleep in his arms. “It looks like it’s going to be a rainy day, unfortunately.” He comments, either not being aware of the previous conversation or not wanting it to continue. “But, the good news is that A-Ling is here now, so he can entertain you. Why don’t you run along now, okay? I need to talk to Father.”

Xiao knows better than to protest. He ties his forehead ribbon on by himself (a little lopsided, but, he’s doing his best) and the two are left alone.

“Why did you tell him?”
“I didn’t think I had a choice. He saw me, Lan Zhan.”
“But then you lied to him.” 

“I didn’t want him to be afraid of me! When he started to understand, he was about to cry ! He’s way too young to understand anyway, and of course I’ll explain it when he’s older, but— but right now? Things are good right now. Too good to ruin with that kind of a shock.”

***

They take lunch under a shady tree by the water after the rain had stopped, with Lan SiZhui joining them while Jin Ling and Lan JingYi are still resting from the exertions of the night before. It’s been a while since it was just the five of them doing anything together, and Wei WuXian enjoys it so much that he doesn’t stop to wonder where his brother-in-law has wandered off to at such a time, as usually he stays pretty close to them during these types of visits. However, Jiang Cheng is absent too…

It’s wrong to assume things, but it’s funny to think about, and Wei WuXian loves to laugh. 

Wei WuXian rests his head in Lan WangJi’s lap after he’s finished eating and sighs contentedly. For once, he doesn’t say anything, but Lan WangJi does instead. “What happened to your face?” 

A trace of panic flashes over his face, but before he can come up with some dumb excuse, Xiao answers for him. “Uncle Jiang did it. They were fighting.”
“What?”
“Uh… pretend fighting.”

Wei WuXian pats his husband’s chest. “An impromptu sparring session, my dear. Don’t worry! Haha, look at your—”
“Why did you not tell me sooner?”
“Because I knew you were going to get angry? Let’s not argue, Lan Zhan. I deserved it. I was teasing him about your brother, and I wouldn’t stop even when he repeatedly asked. Plus, I got a bunch of punches in, too.” 

“I should speak to him.”

“There’s no need, Lan Zhan. Can’t we just enjoy this beautiful day?” 

.

And Lan WangJi tries to enjoy the day. The five of them lounging about with no interruptions and nothing but sunny skies above them is admittedly quite pleasant. But everytime he sees the bruise on Wei WuXian’s cheek, his fist clenches involuntarily. It’s a good thing that Jiang Cheng kept away, because he’s not sure how well he could restrain himself from confronting him. Towards the end of the afternoon, while Wei WuXian lounges in the courtyard in front of their room, (and Lan WangJi hangs wet laundry to dry), he summons the courage to say, “I think I should take SiZhui back to Gusu after the banquet.”

Wei WuXian looks up at him, hoping that he’s going to change his mind, but knowing better. “On one condition, Lan Zhan.” 

“Which is?”
“I want you to talk to Jiang Cheng first. On your own.”

“And say what?”

“I don’t know. Thank him for hosting you. Ask him about the river conditions. Whatever. But you can’t argue. And if you argue, you can’t leave.”

“Wei Ying—”

“Stop giving me hope, above anything else.”

.

It isn’t as easy as Lan WangJi thought to find Sect Leader Jiang in the early hours of the morning. He’s not in his room, and there’s no way he’s in anyone else’s. He’s not in the main hall nor the kitchen supervising anyone’s cooking. After almost an hour of searching, he finds him hammering away at the docks, attempting to repair a familiar boat. Dressed in just light robes, his sleeves are rolled up and sweat glimmers at his forehead. He stops when he sees Lan WangJi and wipes at his sweat. “Did I wake you, Hanguang-jun?” 

Lan WangJi returns his question with a question. “How did you get this boat back to the docks?”
“With determination.” The splinters in his hands and the damaged boat beside this one give hint to how much determination was required. “If you’re leaving, you should use the damn thing that I paid for.”

Lan WangJi examines his work. “You are familiar with construction?”
“Had to be. Someone had to rebuild Lotus Pier.”

“Is the boat repairable?”
“I certainly hope so.” 

“Let me pay for it. Spare yourself the effort, if it is not repairable.” Lan WangJi takes out his money pouch, but Jiang Cheng lowers it. “I want to do it. Is that a problem? Are you in a hurry to leave?”

“Yes. As soon as the banquet concludes.”

“Does Wei WuXian know?”

“He does.”

“I take he isn’t happy about it.” 

“He will come to understand that he will have a better time here with me gone.” Lan WangJi says, looking out at the water instead of at Jiang Cheng. “I do not want to fight with you anymore, Jiang WanYin. It hurts Wei Ying, my son, and my brother…” 

“Then don’t fight with me. It’s that simple.” 

“You make that very difficult at times.”

Jiang Cheng sighs, sitting in the boat a few seconds later. “I don’t think you and I were ever meant to get along. Honestly, I still don’t know how you and Wei WuXian do it, but it’s none of my business. Point is, I don’t think we’re ever going to be able to be the close in-laws that Wei WuXian wants us to be, no matter how hard we try.” 

“I agree. We’re different. We have nothing in common… but, I don’t want to hurt Wei Ying.”

“Believe it or not, neither do I. And… reluctantly, I have to let you know, Lan WangJi, that if you leave, it is going to hurt him.”

“I do not know what else to do.”

“Why don’t we simply agree to never speak to each other unless absolutely necessary?”

“Would that be enough for Wei Ying?”

“We can pretend to be civil. Pretend to bond over something.” 

“Over what?” 

“I don’t know. What do you like to do, Lan WangJi?”

“Read. Play guqin. Cook.” 

“What do you read, rulebooks?”

“No, I often read poetry.” 

“Oh…” 

“What about you?”

“I… write. Sometimes. I spend a lot of time supervising the juniors. When I was a stupid teenager, I wrote any chance I could, until Wei WuXian started getting into my stuff.”

“He has a bad habit of doing that, I’ll admit.” 

Jiang Cheng meets his eyes. “But after he died… I started writing again. I didn’t have a lot of kids’ books here at Lotus Pier for A-Ling, so sometimes I would write little stories for him to entertain him while he was here.”

“Do you still have them?” Lan WangJi is suddenly interested in something that Jiang Cheng has done, and while it’s bizarre, he won’t say anything about it. “Yeah. When Xiao first started coming here, back when he was two years old, I read them to him. He liked them…” 

“In the future, Jiang WanYin, perhaps you should write more for him. He loves listening to stories and recently has been attempting to write his own.”

“Huh, I’m not surprised. He has quite the imagination. I wish I could say the same for the rest of the children here. When my father was the leader, the children here had a well rounded education and literature flourished out of here. Now, I found out a few days ago that some of the kids here can’t even read. I can’t believe I’ve failed so much as a sect leader. And with that in mind, I think I understand why you didn’t want your son to miss a whole summer of education. It is important. Maybe it should be more important here.”

Lan WangJi sits at the front of the boat, nodding slowly.

“I was talking to your brother last night, and he told me that this sect hasn’t gotten out of the war-mindset. That we’re in a time of peace now, too, and I have to remember that. That I should focus more on leisure activities right now and try to enjoy my life. I don’t know if I can, but… maybe there are others who can.”

“One must find a balance between the two.” Lan WangJi says.

“Something like that. He told me I should try painting and gardening. That it might be… therapeutic or something. I wouldn’t know where to start. I’ve spent most of my life just trying to go through the motions and avoid thinking about her and even Wei WuXian. But it’s not working so well. Maybe that’s why I don’t like you. Maybe because you’ve been able to make it through just as much I have and still find a way to be happy and enjoy your life. You got married and started a family. Meanwhile, I’m still a grumpy old bachelor.”

“It’s never too late to start over.” Lan WangJi says, a fond look in his eyes as he’s undoubtedly thinking about Wei WuXian and their children. “You shouldn’t dismiss yourself so easily.”

***

“Ladies and gentlemans,” Xiao stands before the tables while everyone else remains seated. Jiang Cheng can’t help but smile, marvelling at how much his nephew has grown over the past five years. “This is no oronary banquet. This banquet has some very impornant guests! Sect Leader Jin of Lanling! He’s my cousin, by the way.” he motions towards Jin Ling, “Sect Leader Lan! That’s my uncle. And of course, me. If you don’t know me, my name’s Lan Xiao, but Sect Leader Jiang is my uncle and he told me I just had to give the… the… what was it again?”

“Opening remarks.” Jiang Cheng replies.

“Opening remarks. Yeah! Okay. So, here goes. Uhh… the Jiang Sect has done a lotta great stuff this year! They made a lot of money. They bought me a pretty boat, but I broked it into a millions of pieces. Father’s gonna pay Uncle Jiang back, though…”
“Continue.” Jiang Cheng murmurs.

“Right! Uhh… anyway uh, Uncle Jiang has also made a big, big decision about the Yunmeng Jiang sect. He said that they wanna uh… put an— what was the word?”
“Emphasize—”

“Yeah, that word, to reading and writing. ‘Cause this place is really good at fighting and fishing and archery, but not so great at school stuff. A lot of kids can’t even read too good and there aren’t a lot of books. So this summer, Father— I mean, Lan Zhan!” He wonders why a few people laugh at the name, but continues anyway— “is gonna help Uncle Jiang make a new program for the kids and even grown-ups too to read and write more. And he’s gonna pay for all the new books!” 

Wei WuXian gapes at his husband, small smile soon spreading across his face. He squeezes Lan WangJi’s hand under the table.

“And Uncle Lan wants to help too. He said a education should be well-rounded. So he wants to add painting and music too! When I come back next summer, all the kids here are probably gonna be smarter than me! He wanted me to say more stuff, but I’m really hungry and the lotus rib soup that me, Uncle Jiang and Father made this morning smells really, really good. Can we eat now?” He asks Jiang Cheng.

“I don’t see why not.”

If Yanli was here, she’d be quite impressed with this edition of the lotus rib soup. She’d also undoubtedly adore Xiao and spoil him dearly. She’d be impressed with the new education programs implemented later on in the year and perhaps tease him a little bit about his budding friendship with Lan XiChen. 

But he’s found himself thinking “if Yanli were here” less and less, because deep down, he knows that she is here. Her spirit lives on in her son, in the gentle summer breeze and in good lotus rib soup and sect banquets and the beautiful flowers that Lan XiChen helped Jiang Cheng plant in the garden dedicated to her memory. And if his nephew never has the chance to meet her, he’ll never once wonder about what she’s like. He’ll keep her story alive through his own writing, through life at the sect and through the love he shows his nephew.

When the Lan’s leave Lotus Pier at the end of the summer, he doesn’t find himself saying his typical, “see you next year”. Rather, he asks Lan WangJi about the plans for Mei’s first birthday in October and what sort of gifts he might find useful for her, because of course he’s coming, and in fact, he’d like to come a few days early to help set up everything and spend some time with them before the bustle of the festivities. He shakes Lan WangJi’s hand before he leaves, and Wei WuXian is so happy that he pulls his former— no, his brother into a tight hug. “Thanks for putting up with us for so long! We had a great time. See you soon...” He said, his eyes glistening with happy tears.

Jiang Cheng finds himself slowly returning the hug. “See you soon.”

Chapter Text

A few years have passed since Wei Wuxian finally agreed to come back to Gusu with Lan Wangji, this time, as his husband. For the first year or two, life was quite eventful. Wei Wuxian went on many nighthunts with the juniors, teaching Lan SiZhui everything he ethically could while making up for the lost time in the past. 

He’d come home in the evenings to Lan Wangji and also make up for the lost time in the past. Life was so warm, with him looking forward to every day and the new adventures that were to come. It was too soon to say, but he was starting to feel like… like he might belong here, for the first time in his two lives. It was a great feeling to have, being so content with life. 

And then everything changed. 

It all started with a scream.

One afternoon while his husband was busy teaching the juniors, Wei Wuxian heard a loud cry coming from the women’s portion of the sect. Sure, he shouldn’t have been so close, but once he heard it his curiosity spiked and he could not allow himself to simply walk away. It wasn’t the first time he’d been to the women’s part of the sect, but never so obviously, and this time no one tried to stop him. Besides, the idea of segregating such a powerful sect was dated, and, quite frankly, boring. 

It wasn’t difficult to locate the source of the sound, based on the women rushing in and out of one particular house. It was difficult to get a close look, as there were currently three or four children circling him, asking him to pick them up or play. “Not now,” he said, “but come find me later, okay?”

“When’s later?”

“Later is later.” When the children still don’t leave, he pulls out his trusty money pouch. “Hey, you want some money? Race for it.” He tosses it away. “On the count of three, okay? One, two—” As he hoped, the children have already darted off in hopes to get to the coin first, giving him a method of escape. 

He made it to the porch before a female physician finally stopped him. “Young Master Wei, I must ask you to leave.”

“I merely came to investigate.” he protests. “Not to flirt with the girls. What are you hiding in there?

She rolls her eyes, very uncharacteristic of a Lan. “Young Master Wei, everything is under control, and it is none of your business. Please leave.”

“I heard a scream.”

“Have you never heard of childbirth?”

“Of course I’ve heard of childbirth.” Yet the idea of witnessing it is quite intriguing, even if it’s taboo. “Can I help?”

“Absolutely not!”

“A-Lia!” Someone from inside shouts. “We need help! Find someone to bring more towels!”

Lan Lia gives him a long look and sighs deeply. “Find more towels, then. But you may not come in.”

“Right.”

So he wandered off in search of towels. Most of the women under the age of forty actually liked him by this point (and disagreed with the segregation of the sect), so he had little issue in tracking down towels thanks to their generous assistance. When he came back, the pregnant woman was practically shrieking , and he could hear this clearly through the walls, despite her martial sisters urging her to be quiet. Through the door, he nearly shouted back at them to let her scream. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of muffled protest that he burst through the door. Someone was holding a cloth over her mouth to silence her. And it enraged him. He had to step in. “Why are you doing that to her?”

Though the woman was initially embarrassed for him to be there, she looked immediately grateful once the cloth was removed. Her face was quite pale. 

“You need to leave. Now .” Lan Lia snapped.

“Not until she is properly helped.”

“And what do you, a man, know about childbirth? What will you ever know?”

(A year later, she will catch his son as he’s born just at sunrise and he will give her a wary, I-told-you-so smile.)

He was there everything leading up to that woman’s delivery, her birthing regions already occluded for modesty’s sake, but he was still fascinated by the process. He helped wherever needed and did the heavy lifting for drawing a hot bath for her or stoking the fire all while mentally taking notes on the process. But what really impacted him was the moment her daughter was born, that moment she let out her first cry. It was as if his heart faltered, and something came over him that he could not shake as he listened to the baby's cries gradually dim as her mother gently rocked her.

I want that .

It was a truly beautiful moment up until that thought hit him like a wave, knocking him into a mindset he could not stray from. 

For when Wei WuXian wants something, he’ll do whatever it takes to have it.

But he’s also learned not to rush into anything as major as this. What he needs is some solid medical advice before delving himself into research, and then he’ll be ready. Actually getting what he wants would probably not be very hard. 

After all was assured to be well between mother and baby, the doctor took her leave. Wei WuXian, despite knowing how tired she must’ve been, accompanied her back to her residence, asking questions at a mile a minute about the aftercare, the pregnancy itself, and then… “How badly does it hurt? How long does it hurt? You know, to give birth?”

She freezes in her tracks, giving him a deathly glare. “Why do you ask such things?”

He laughed it off then, explaining that he was curious and wanted to further his research, and was there anything wrong with that?

“It will be wasted knowledge,” She said. “And very improper.”

“Well, I am very improper.” 

“Find a better hobby, and don’t come bothering me anymore, disrupting births like that.”

The next afternoon, Wei WuXian asked Lan Xichen permission to have a look around the Forbidden Library, because the subject of his curiosity was not on display upstairs. The only books he could find were about illnesses in babies and ways to indoctrinate stubborn children. The women’s library, which was much smaller, was strictly off limits at this point, so he didn’t bother trying. His brother-in-law didn’t mind, being too busy sulking in seclusion to care about what shenanigans Wei Wuxian got up to. 

So he went in, finding it to have only a few books on the topic. One of the books, particularly more graphic than the rest, would suffice for now. He slipped the book into his robes and brought it back to the jinshi. Once he was sure that no one else was around, he took it into the toilet with him alongside a mirror and lantern. He held the book up to the light, then the light to the mirror, having a good look at his body. 

It wasn’t the most comfortable way to examine oneself, and it admittedly made him feel a bit awkward as he’d never looked at his body from such an angle.

And his body and the changes in it from his past life was a topic and thought in general that he tried to avoid entirely. He knew something was very different about his body, but he felt too ashamed to think about it or to ask a doctor. Regardless, he was male, and nothing would change the way he identified, the way he is . 

But there were differences between himself and Lan Wangji. It wasn’t something they talked about, and their lives weren’t negatively affected by it. Yet as Wei WuXian compared what he saw in the mirror to the diagram he found in the book, his legs started shaking. Not with horror, but at the potential of what he could do. He had never really thought about what he did or did not have before as far as reproductive parts went, never cared about the potential. Now, he's thankful for the chance to try.

Every month and a half since he first entered this body he endured painful abdominal cramps and light bleeding that he soon learned how to conceal and avoid with stolen tonics from the doctor’s pavilion. So for years, he’s had no sight of the blood, just some slight cramping every couple weeks, though with how much he’d already endured, he usually didn’t notice it.

The next month when it came again, he decided to let it run its course. He kept track of everything diligently, gears in his head turning as he continued studying each and every forbidden book on fertility and reproduction he could get his hands on. He pestered Lan Lia more than socially acceptable with countless questions, all while dutifully taking notes like an apt student when she was generous enough to answer.

Eventually, word got out of his unusual meetings with the doctor and visits to recently delivered babies or pregnant women and the “pornographic” books, so it was concluded that Wei WuXian was having an affair. Had Wei WuXian not been married to his beloved nephew, Lan QiRen would’ve rejoiced at the idea of having an excuse to kick Wei WuXian out. But, at least it gave him reason to lecture. He came to the jingshi without forewarning Lan Wangji and gave Wei WuXian a long lecture. For once, he didn’t look amused.

“Have you anything to say for yourself?”

“You should all mind your own damned business.” Wei WuXian spat, cheeks red. “I want nothing to do with any woman. Tell all those gossiping Lan’s that, too.”

And so, Wei WuXian continued his studies in secrecy. It wasn’t until the following year that he decided to start attempting the seemingly impossible. He had been carefully tracking his “cycles” for six months and was tired of waiting, of keeping Lan Wangji in the dark. It was time to come clean and tell his husband what he was on his mind. 

“Lan Zhan, I really want a baby.”

A few nights later, while the two were getting ready for bed, Wei WuXian decided to just go for it without worrying about the consequences.

Lan Zhan’s breath hitches, he swallows hard. Those few words completely changed the direction Lan WangJi thought their conversation was headed. It took a long moment for him to so much as utter a syllable. "What?"

Wei WuXian peeks up at him, the heat on his face radiating, “I want a baby. I love children, they’re so fun and entertaining and… and I know you do too, even if you haven’t said it out loud; you’re so good with them and you would make a perfect father. And why wouldn’t you? You are perfect at everything else.”

Lan WangJi speaks slowly, his voice calm, but his husband can feel his heart quicken, “How could you? Such a thing is unheard of.”

Wei Wuxian’s lips tremble as he tries to smile. “I once might’ve thought the same, in my past life, but honestly Lan Zhan, don’t say you haven’t noticed... and- and what if we tried—”

“No. It is not possible.”

Puffing his cheeks out, Wei WuXian turns onto his side, back to Lan WangJi. “You never reject me like this, Lan Zhan. It isn’t fair.”

Shaking his head, Lan WangJi asks, “How long have you wanted this?”

“A long time. This isn’t a heat of the moment idea. For months, I’ve… I’ve tracked and planned… and think of it… a baby of our own…” Also, for months and months, he’d planned on how to ask. And yet here he was, failing miserably, stumbling over his words already. “Lan Zhan, I think I can get pregnant.”

He teased the idea before, countless times. By now, Lan Wangji has surely stopped taking it seriously, but when Wei Wuxian says this, it seems to annoy him. “Wei Ying,” he chides in all seriousness, “Do not fool around with such ideas… when it is not possible."

“But I just said—”
“As you have said, Wei Ying, if it were possible, it would surely have happened by now.”

Wei Wuxian’s heart sinks. He turns away. 

“I just do not want you to get hurt or disappointed, Wei Ying.”

Like I am right now?

“We’ve never tried .” Wei Wuxian shoots back, giving no other defense because he’s tired and losing stamina.

“Because you said it made you uncomfortable.”

“Well, I’ve changed my mind!”

“I am not sure I am willing to put you through that ordeal when there are other methods.”

”You could just say no, Lan Zhan, and that you don’t want children with me. You didn’t have to hurt my feelings.”

”That is not what I–“

Whatever he says next, Wei WuXian ignores him, arms crossed. He refuses to speak to him for the rest of the night.

Neither sleep well.

Over the next two months, Wei Wuxian did not bring up the subject. He found it foolish to try and force it, anyway. He focused, as usual, on the studies in secret, but publicly it was on strengthening his core. It was already quite strong, of course, but improvements were always possible. 

Just before the start of summer, the two took a trip to the sea together, staying at an inn by the water. Truthfully, it was in Lan Wangji’s hopes to lift Wei Wuxian’s spirits, who had seemed so glum recently despite his great improvements in training.

The two were seated by the window in their room, Wei Wuxian longingly watching a family with two children playing by the water, when Lan Wangji decided to throw caution to the wind. Wei Wuxian would not be content until he at least tried. That was his personality and what Lan Wangji loved most about him. 

His hesitation was in part due to his own stubborn, frustrating nature. He didn’t want to fail. Of course he wanted children, too. But when the inevitable happened, how could he move on from it? For Lan Wangji in this case, it was better not to try at all. 

That is, unless it makes Wei Wuxian upset like this. Then, it’s damn what he thinks and time to make his husband happy. So, he took Wei Wuxian’s hands and lifted him to his feet. “I don’t think this will work,” he says, “But I’m willing to try, just once, to put your mind at ease as to what can or cannot be.” 

“Once might not be enough.” Wei Wuxian replies, a look of excitement in his eyes, “But our next attempt doesn’t have to be soon.”

It felt wrong afterwards, and he was overcome with guilt upon noticing the way Wei WuXian’s face flushed in what appeared to be shame. He kissed at his tears, telling him again and again that he’d never do something like that again.

“It’s not that.” Wei Wuxian insists. “It’s just… I’m afraid of… of it not working, and me wasting your time when you don’t even want children.”

“I do want children.” Lan Wangji cups his cheeks. “But it does not matter how they come to be.” It is pointless to add, because he knows how determined Wei WuXian is to succeed. It was really directed towards himself as a reminder. 

As expected, there was no immediate second attempt. They enjoyed the rest of their trip, and all talk of babies ceased completely. For a little while, things seemed to go back to normal, but Wei WuXian was always waiting, hoping for some sort of sign that something was happening. 

Something did, the day before they left. It was mid-June, then. There seemed to be blood, as usual, right on schedule. It didn’t work. Of course it didn’t work.

When Lan Wangji found him in bed at three p.m., hugging his stomach, he brought hot rags and placed them on his neck and lower back just like he used to. Wei Wuxian hugs him, pulling him close. “Maybe you’re right, Lan Zhan.”

And in this case, Lan Wangji hated being right. When it hurt Wei WuXian, he wanted to be very, very wrong. “We can try again. When we get back, we can…”

“Yeah,” he whispers, voice shaking. “But it won’t work then, either. You were right to doubt it, Lan Zhan. For once, there’s something that I can’t do. It really is impossible.”

Lan Wangji holds him close, wishing to God that it wasn’t. 

First Trimester, the Beginning

When they came home, a few weeks went by in peace before Wei Wuxian found himself to be an anxious wreck. Every day he suffered from migraines, nausea, and cramping. It wasn’t pregnancy, of course, because he had bled. He attributed it to the stress of the situation. These weren’t symptoms of pregnancy, other than the nausea, of course. But it was way too early for that. He supposed the gods must’ve decided to make him more miserable for even trying to have children.

He spent a lot of time in the cold springs to soothe his aching limbs, appease his nausea. On one such occasion, he overheard two disciples’ conversation about pregnancy that immediately captured his attention. 

“When is she due?”

“Six months from now.”

“And this is your third child, yes?”

“ Fourth , and hopefully last.”

“Hopefully their infant days will fly by.”

“Hopefully!”

In his past life, he would never fathom this incessant longing within him, nor the sorrow that came with it.

Even if he wasn’t busy studying demonic cultivation, really. 

Because he had little A-Yuan, which was enough for him, and he didn’t particularly desire reproducing with anyone. 

How life has changed! And now his little A-Yuan wasn’t so little anymore, already very much a young man busy with his studies who didn’t have the time for goofing off with Wei WuXian anymore. He missed out on that boy’s entire childhood, and now would probably never have a chance to experience anything like it.

Well, it wasn’t good for him to be so moody, especially if it’s something he can’t control. He had to reassure himself sooner or later that he might have been too hasty in assuming all of this. Besides, fertility could still be on the table. Not everyone got pregnant on the first try.

***

The headaches got worse, during that first month, but when they subsided, the nausea intensified instead. For days on end, he found himself confined to his bed or the toilet, unable to keep anything down.

Lan Wangji wanted him properly diagnosed and had many a physician look him over, who all just recommended a healthier diet and rest. Nothing worked. He was sick from just after midnight until two or three p.m. the following day, like routine.

When no one else could help him, he sought the physician from the women’s portion of the sect, who of course wasn’t thrilled to see him.

He found her in the doctor’s pavilion, already rolling her eyes when she sees him. “What do you want this time, a diagram of the vagina?” When he doesn’t answer, she adds, “Are you alright? You look green.”

“I need your help.” He glances around to make sure no one is listening. “I… I did something stupid.”

“And I don’t want any part of it.”

“Doctor, I’m sick and no one else can figure out why. Please, help me.”

.

Fortunately, there are no patients in the doctor’s pavilion today. After dismissing a few disciples ready to knock Wei WuXian’s head for pestering her again, she closes the door and instructs him to sit on the table like any other patient would. “I don’t know why you didn’t just say so.” She mumbles to herself, sifting through a cabinet of medicines. “I see you no differently. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I thought you wouldn’t believe me.”

“I’m a doctor, Wei WuXian. I’ve seen things.”

So she examines him, surprisingly keeping a straight face despite the awkwardness of the situation, where even Wei Wuxian, king of losing face, is staring at the wall with a deep blush. A moment later, she concludes, “It wasn’t menses, it was implantation.”

“What?”

“You were bleeding, having a headache, and light cramps in that week after your attempt to impregnate, because your efforts were successful.”

Wei WuXian’s eyes go wide as saucers. “Are you… how do you know ?”

“Their energy is quite strong, to start with my cultivational method of “knowing”, though I expect nothing less from the likes of the Yiling Patriarch and Hanguang-jun’s combined effort.”

But when Wei WuXian places a hand over his stomach, he senses nothing. “But I don’t—”

“Well, you aren’t trained for it. Give it a few more weeks and you will have no doubt of it.”

“And what’s the non-cultivational evidence that I’m…” He cannot even say the word yet. All of this feels so unreal, so impossible. Yet tears prick at his eyes from the possibility that it’s true, that his months of longing might be over…

“No further menses blood after that. Your cycle would have started sometime last month, and it’s never been late before. Additionally, the nausea, which is what we usually call morning sickness, is extremely common in the early months. How’s that?”

“I…”

“Are you happy with yourself, Wei WuXian? As always, you’ve shown all of us up.”

Still, he is speechless. For once in his life, he truly has nothing to say. 

She laughs at him. “It’s really not so impossible, given the circumstances,” once again opening the medicine cabinet, she places a bottle in his hands. “Take this when you’re feeling nauseous, and come see me in a month so I can check up on you and baby again.”

He nods quickly, leaving without another word, as if in a daze.

***

He had a few hours until Lan Wangji returned home, until Lan SiZhui came to help him with dinner. And until then, he didn’t know what to do with himself. For a few moments, he looked around the place, trying to envision where he would put the baby’s things, but soon he was too excited to stay in one place. He ran to find the mirror he’d stowed away all those months ago and propped it up to look at himself. He ran a hand over his flat stomach, trying to fathom how it was possible that a tiny human was growing there. How could he explain it to Lan Wangji— shit , he had to explain this to Lan Wangji— when he didn’t understand it himself?

One thing is certain, he does feel different. Though he wouldn’t necessarily have attributed it to pregnancy before now. It is a warm feeling, comforting in a way. The longer he rests his hands over his stomach in the place the doctor showed him, the stronger the feeling is. Perhaps this is what she sensed. There is a baby in him. He wonders if it’s a boy or girl.

His lips tremble another second or two before he finally starts to cry, and watching himself in the mirror only made him cry harder.

So much is about to change, and it wasn’t until recently that he realized just how lonely it could be here at the Cloud Recesses at times when he wasn’t particularly needed by anyone. But now, someone would actually need him, someone could actually accompany him all the time. He had a chance to make right the wrongs he did in the past, to prove that he was capable of creating something good.

He is scared, he is overjoyed. He is having a baby, at last, and has no idea of what was to come or if his body is even capable of giving birth. The doctor had yet to tell him the details of labor and the pain that came with it. 

He lies on the bed, tears trickling down the side of his face as he gazes up at the ceiling, lost in thought. 

The most important thing right now is telling Lan Wangji. Until then, it is his little secret, the most precious one he’s ever kept. And knowing his husband would be supportive, he couldn’t help but wonder what other people’s reactions might be. Would they believe him? Would they be happy for him? Should he tell them? 

“Senior Wei, are you ready for dinner?”

Soon enough, Lan SiZhui is coming in, earlier than expected, and he had only seconds to look presentable again. He ties his robes again with fumbling fingers, slides the mirror under the bed. Wipes his eyes. “Yes, I’m starved.”

“Are you okay?” Lan SiZhui must’ve seen the redness around his eyes, but Wei Wuxian is determined not to give anything away.

“I’m fine, SiZhui. What are we having tonight?” 

(After Lan SiZhui left, Wei Wuxian cried again at the thought of his two children having dinner together. He had a long pregnancy ahead of him, indeed!)

***

He waited on the porch for close to an hour for Lan Wangji to come home, rehearsing what he was going to say a hundred times and looking like a madman to poor disciples passing by.

“Lan Zhan,” he says aloud, pacing back and forth, “I have something very important to tell you. Do you want to discuss this over dinner, my dear?” No, he knows he won’t get that far. “Lan Zhan, I’m…” He sighs. “How do I begin to tell you … will you even believe me?”

“Believe what?” 

And there’s Lan Wangji, walking up the path to their house with a pile of scrolls in his arms.

“Lan Zhan!” His heart starts to pound, yet he forces himself to smile. What could be determined as an excited bounce is actually Wei Wuxian trembling as he hurries down the steps to meet his husband. Lan Wangji greets him with a brief kiss which has Wei WuXian pulling back before anything more can come of it. “Lan Zhan, I- I have to talk to you!”

Lan Wangji nods, setting the scrolls down on a nearby chair just inside the door. Wei WuXian pulls him to the table and urges him to sit. 

“Are you hungry, Lan Zhan? SiZhui made dinner, he’s actually a pretty decent cook! He gets that from you of course, not me.” Wei WuXian sets a few bowls down in front of his husband, but before he can go to grab more, Lan Wangji asks, “What did you want to say?”

His heart is pounding so hard in his ears that he can hardly hear his that his own shaking voice say, “Well, I— you see…”
“Are you alright?” Lan Wangji rises to his feet, so Wei WuXian sits down on the edge of the table to keep him down.

“I’m fine, Lan Zhan. Will you listen to me?”

He slowly sits again. “Go ahead.”

“Thank you. As I was saying… I got tired of being so grumpy and ill, so I decided to find another, a… a female doctor instead. She’s my friend, you know, the one everyone kept thinking I was having an affair with.”

“I try to forget.”

“As do I! Anyway, she’s probably the best doctor I’ve ever seen, second only to Wen Qing. I suppose the two would get along well. She poked and prodded all over my body and was able to give me a diagnosis. It is very grim. I will be sick like this for a long time.” 

Lan WangJi raises a brow, surprised that Wei WuXian doesn’t appear at all concerned. “What… what illness do you have?”

“Something very, very serious. Sometimes it can be deadly!” Why am I trying to torment my husband? Wei WuXian wondered. I could just get it over with. I should get it over with. 

When he sees how Lan Wangji’s throat constricts, how his face goes white, Wei WuXian decides to hell with it, I’ll just say it , laughs at him, and exclaims, “Oh, don’t be so frightened, I’ll just say it! We’re going to have a baby!”

Lan Wangji’s mouth falls slack as he looks Wei WuXian up and down. Lips moving into a frown, he says, “Do not joke around.”

“Ah, that’s what I thought you’d say. But it’s true. I told you I’d find a way to bear you a Young Master Lan, and that’s exactly what I’m doing! If anything, I’m a man of my word.”

“Wei Ying, enough .”

It hurts his heart a little to hear Lan Wangji’s adamant skepticism, but perhaps it’s only to protect himself from the disappointment. Wei WuXian moves to sit on his lap, hands on his husband’s shoulders. “Still, he thinks I’m lying! Hahaha, Lan Zhan, you’re a fool. I’ll admit I was skeptical at first, too, but then… then I knew.”

“How?”

It’s not something he likes to discuss outside of a medical professional’s presence, but Lan Wangji needs to know. “She knew. About… my body, you know. I told her. And she told me the blood was from implantation when we… when we… tried.”

“I do not understand how this is possible… being our first attempt—”

“Lan Zhan, when two people such as ourselves practice dual cultivation as much as we do, and with you doing me so intensely night and day, I cannot see how you’re surprised at all. It explains why I’ve been so sick too. Do you believe me, now?”

“...” And then, “Yes… of course I believe you.”

Well, that’s a relief. Wei WuXian is able to smile again. “I know it seems crazy, and it’s a lot to take in, even for someone as smart as you. But what do you think?”

Lan WangJi is silent for a long moment, and Wei WuXian fears he isn’t happy about the baby. That he no longer wants what he used to. Impossible! Lan WangJi loves children, and the longing look he’s caught on many occasions confirms that still. Even Zewu-jun told him just last week that Lan WangJi wants children of his own someday, though looking back, that seemed a bit like foreshadowing. He wonders if he knew something…

No longer able to stand the silence, he whines, “Oh, say something, Lan Zhan! If you are unhappy, I…”

All of the sudden, Lan WangJi drags him across the table into his lap and gives him a fervent kiss, his shoulders shaking, and when Wei WuXian pulls away, he sees that his husband is smiling and actually laughing … he is happy! Wei WuXian feels giddy, almost dizzy with love and admiration of that rare laugh...

“When… when is it…”

“Early spring. Oh, aren’t you excited?”

“Early spring...” Lan WangJi repeats, hugging him fiercely. His face is buried in Wei WuXian’s neck and he can feel it getting damp. “How could I be unhappy? How could I ever be unhappy when… when you are—”

“Don’t get too emotional yet, Lan Zhan, we have many months ahead of us.” He reminds him, though his eyes glisten with tears as well. The two embrace tightly, a wave of relief washing over them after months of worry and impatience.

“I love you,” Lan WangJi murmurs against his neck, pressing kisses here and there. It was rare for him to say those words, he was more of a man of action. Hearing them, Wei WuXian knew how thrilled his husband was. “I love you for your bravery. For your willingness to do this, even when you—”

“No, I wanted this.” Wei WuXian says, “Bravery had nothing to do with wanting it, not yet, anyway.”

“Mn.” He pulls Wei WuXian closer, and for a long moment the two of each other just revel in the other’s embrace. 

Later, Wei WuXian will excitedly whisper, “Lan Zhan, we’re gonna be parents!”

(And much much later, he wakes up in a cold sweat and says, “Oh my god, we’re gonna be parents .”)

***

Like clockwork, the nausea— which he now knows to be morning sickness , hits him hard the next morning, and for many mornings to come. He takes the medicine like his doctor told him, though it tastes so bad it almost induces vomiting. It helps a little, but doesn’t prevent anything. 

Now knowing the cause of it, Lan Wangji takes a few days off to care for him. Wei WuXian found comfort in his care, and now obviously had more inspiration to fight through it, knowing what caused it.

Lan WangJi stayed by his side, never complaining about Wei WuXian’s condition or having to clean up after him. He cooked for him, then cooked for him again when suddenly spicy foods were intolerable, he administered the medicine, rubbed his back when he was sick, always patient. Wei WuXian appreciated his efforts of course, but he also felt incredibly embarrassed that Lan Wangji had to see him like this. 

That was his primary issue as the pregnancy wore on. While alone, Wei WuXian felt content with his body and connected with the life growing in him. It felt natural, and he felt happiest when he didn’t have to be reminded of what other people might think. 

It wasn’t right to take that out on Lan Wangji, of course, for all he wanted was to be helpful and loving as always. But he couldn’t help himself. He ended up unconsciously pushing Lan Wangji away, through subtle things like turning the other direction at night to increasing his teasing while in public, which Lan Wangji had made clear that he was uncomfortable with. 

So it was a given that one day Wei WuXian’s teasings would go too far, or in this case, way too far. Accidentally, of course. Wei WuXian thought he saw his husband walking ahead of him on the path to the cold springs. “Going without me, Lan Zhan?” He called, running up to grab his waist. “That’s a little unfair, considering I’m the one who’s sore.”

Before Lan Xichen turned around Wei WuXian had already realized he majorly fucked up, because he heard Lan Wangji’s sharp tone behind him. He backed up, face beet red, and started fumbling with some sort of apology, unable to really form any comprehensible sentence as Lan XiChen turned around, probably saying something along the lines of “It’s alright” when Lan Wangji took his arm and demanded Wei WuXian apologize at once for groping his poor brother. 

But when being told what to do, Wei WuXian usually can’t do it. Plus, a forced apology is just plain awkward for everyone involved. He bows respectfully and hurries off, wanting to crawl under a rock and die. 

“Should… I ask what that was about?” Lan Xichen asks after a long, awkward silence. “It’s not like Wei Wuxian to not say anything, even when he’s embarrassed.”

“He has not been well as of late, Brother, you must forgive him.” 

“Of course. Young Master Wei isn’t so shameless as to grope someone… that isn’t you, anyway.” 

“Mn. Please, accept my apologies on his behalf.” 

***

The brothers walked, side by side, through much of the confines of the Cloud Recesses, neither saying a word. There were many days in which Lan Xichen did not come out of his home at all, and Lan Wangji often missed those instances when he did. The two hardly spent time together these days. 

By their second lap around the Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji starts to worry about Wei WuXian, for he hasn’t returned home yet.

“And are you alright, Wangji? It’s not like you to be so worried about Wei Wuxian. He runs off to cause mischief often, doesn’t he?” 

“It’s his health I’m worried about.”

“He looked no worse for wear, as far as I’m concerned…”

“It’s because he’s—” Lan Wangji nearly kicked himself from almost revealing their precious secret, but thankfully he kept it in. 

“He’s what, WangJi?”
“He’s nothing. He’s fine. Just ill at the moment, but it will resolve in a few months…”

“A few months? What, are you two expecting or something?”

Lan Wangji cannot lie. He looks down, then away. 

At first, Lan Xichen meant it as a joke. But now, he had inclination to believe it was truth , and he could hardly process what was happening. “Wangji, are you serious?”

“Please do not tell anyone, Brother…”

“But- but how— never mind how, this is wonderful!” Oh, how Lan Wangji wishes everyone could have such a positive reaction! “Let’s go find him then, since I now understand why you’re worried. Oh! And I can assure you, Wangji, your secret is very much safe with me!” 

It was the first time either of them had the opportunity to tell another person, and it went so surprisingly well that Lan Wangji— briefly— considers getting the announcement over with by shouting it to the rooftops. Or perhaps sending up a firework with the news? 

In the mean time, there’s a much more pressing issue at hand. 

They find him at a stranger’s lake, stuffed with lotus pods and looking very sorry for himself. 

“Wei Ying…”

The man in question wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and sighs. “I’m sorry, Lan Zhan. I am staying here for the duration of the pregnancy.”

He glanced around. “Right here?”

“Yes. I can crawl out and grab the lotus pods. I can lay out in the sun all day like a miserable, dying fish. And no one will be around to see me in my shame.”

“I could pick lotus pods for you, and take them home with us. You shouldn’t stay out here alone.”

“I embarrassed you in front of your brother. You shouldn’t want anything to do with me.”

“You know I am not angry with you.”

“You should be.”

“It is not as big a deal as you believe it to be.” Lan XiChen finally speaks up, making his presence known from behind his brother, “And… I know about your condition now, so I understand.”

Wei WuXian abruptly stands, giving a bow out of habit. “You do…? Lan Zhan, you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone yet!”

Lan WangJi smiles weakly. “I thought it would persuade him to help me find you.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” Lan XiChen assures the two of them. “But I believe Uncle already knows. And you will have to tell everyone eventually, Young Master Wei. The Juniors are already highly suspicious of your lack of mischief."

 The time for Wei Wuxian’s check-up with Lan Lia came quicker than he thought as she soon sent a note stating he should come the following morning. He was excited to see her again; he had a lot of questions about himself and the baby, more than he could find answers for in any of the books he got his hands on. They were all terribly vague, with more details on how to conceal a pregnancy than what was actually occurring during one. And he wanted to know everything .

The night before, he asked Lan Wangji if he wanted to come with him, if he had questions he wanted to ask, too.

“Hopefully you’re at least somewhat curious about our baby, Lan Zhan,” he said over dinner (as Lan SiZhui was out on a hunt and blissfully unaware of the situation). 

“Have I implied that I am not?” 

“Nope! Just teasing. Maybe it’s my casual way of guilting you into coming tomorrow.” 

“Won’t people find that suspicious?” 

“Find what suspicious?”

“Both of us entering the women’s side of the sect.”

“Lan Zhan~” 

Lan Wangji smiles at him. “What is it?”

“I want you to come with me! I want us to do this together, every part of the way.”

“Then I will go with you.”

***

After the disciples have gone off to their classes the following day, the pair make their way to Lan Lia at the doctor’s pavilion again, mindful of the wary eyes that follow them the entire way.

Lan Lia bows to Hanguang-jun, but from that point the entirety of her attention is on Wei Wuxian. “Have you told anyone else, yet?”

“Just Zewu-jun. Accidentally .” He shoots a look at his husband.

“Good. Revealing the news too quickly is never good for anyone. How are you on the medicine?” 

“It tastes disgusting, but I— why is revealing the news too early a bad thing?” 

“There is always the risk of miscarriage in the early months.” She says matter-of-factly. “Even in the most healthy individuals. It is better to wait until a later time to avoid the guilt and disappointment…” She moves to the medicine cabinet. “Try ginger root tea with the medicine, that should increase its effectiveness.” 

Wei Wuxian looks to his husband, face paling. “You mean, I could lose —”

“Oh, there’s no use in worrying about what cannot be controlled. We take things one day at a time, Young Master Wei. And today, all is well.” 

“What can’t be controlled? Is there really no way to prevent this?” 

Lan Wangji met the doctor’s gaze, seeming like he wanted to ask the same question. 

She sighs and sits on the edge of the table. “I have three children. All are grown now, very healthy. My sister had one child, then had one miscarriage. My mother had five daughters and two miscarriages. And my grandmother had two children, no miscarriages. You see? Even though we share the same blood, the results always differ. I cannot sit here and tell you that you will or will not experience something; no one can.” 

“But why does it—”

“Wei Wuxian.” She stops him. “You could miscarry by suffering an injury. You could miscarry while lying perfectly still all hours of the day. There is nothing and no method to prevent what is inevitable. Fear will do you no good.” 

“What do we do if—” Wei Wuxian can’t even finish that terrible sentence, but thankfully she already knows what he’s asking. 

“You’ll send for me, and I’ll help you.”

The rest of the check-up goes well; she says she has no concerns and leaves him with another bottle of medicine before sending him off. But now that Wei Wuxian knows about the risks, the peaceful bubble he’s spent the last four weeks in has, well, popped. 

He holds Lan Wangji’s arm all the way home, forcing himself to upkeep his usual charms right until they step into the jingshi. Then, he lets the facade drop and sinks onto the bed.

“Oh, Lan Zhan, I wish she’d never told us that. Now I won’t be able to sleep… ever. Knowing that something terrible could happen at any given time is so unnerving…”

Lan Wangji agrees. “But as she said, it is not as if every pregnancy ends in miscarriage. She had three—”

“But that’s her family, Lan Zhan, I don’t have a clue about what my family’s history was. I- you know, I don’t even know if I was my mom’s first child!”

“And we cannot live in such paranoia, Wei Ying. We have made it this far.”

Wei WuXian rests a hand over his still-flat stomach. “Yeah, we have.”

“And if anything happens, you both are in the best possible care.”

Wei WuXian huffs out a breath and reaches for Lan Wangji’s hands. He pulls his husband onto the bed. “I’m starting to feel nauseous… hold me?”

Five minutes later, Wei WuXian is bundled up with a cup of tea in his hands, safe in Lan Wangji’s arms. They watch the falling rain together. 

Wei WuXian strokes his husband’s hands and whispers, “No, I know it. Someday, we’ll be sitting by the window watching the rain, just like this. But there’ll be three of us.”

Lan Wangji kisses his hair, holds him a little tighter.

“And they’re gonna look just like you, Lan Zhan.” He smiles, leaning back against him. “I just know it.” 

***

One afternoon a few days later, Wei WuXian catches Lan SiZhui staring at him for longer than socially acceptable while the two walk together on the path towards Caiyi Town. Lan SiZhui has just returned after a lengthy hunt, and as such much has changed since he left. Perhaps it is time to tell him. It’s not like he’ll run and tell everyone he knows, besides, and he is family. If Zewu-jun knows, Lan SiZhui should too. 

“What are you looking at?” Wei WuXian laughs at the youth, who immediately looks away once called out. “N-Nothing, Senior Wei!”

“Nothing is always something. What is it?”

“It would be wrong of me to—”

“What do I care about what’s wrong to say? I hardly ever shut my mouth. So, spit it out. If it’s something bad, I won’t tell your Hanguang-jun.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Lan SiZhui blurts, “Are you ill, Senior Wei?” 

“Ill…?”

“It’s just that—um—you...you grow thinner and paler every time I see you! And… and Sir keeps yelling at Hanguang-jun to feed you more, and I know he does, so… why are you so thin?”

“Are you worried about me? Is the old man worried about me?! I don't believe that part, but...” Wei WuXian's face turns grim as he adds darkly, “You’re right. I am ill. Gravely.”

“W-What? No, Senior Wei, that’s terrible! Should you really be up and about? Here, let me help you back to the—” Wei WuXian burst out laughing, startling the poor boy further. “What’s funny?”

“Hahaha, poor kid, I’m sorry I’m so mean to you…” Wei WuXian holds his side which cramps from too much laughter. “Look, I’m sick, but I’m not gonna die. You can relax now.” Wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, he turns serious again. “If I tell you the truth, you cannot tell a soul. Only Lan Zhan and Zewu-jun know it, and if the news gets out to anyone else…”

“I promise I won’t tell!”

“I believe you.” Wei WuXian glances around quickly. “Hmm… it’s too open here. Let’s wait a bit, yeah? Make sure that no one else is around to overhear.”

.

They walk a while further and eventually arrive in the village. “This is far more open than the forest was, Senior Wei…” Lan SiZhui points out.

“Yes, that’s the point here. There are so many voices that ours would be hard to distinguish. But in a quiet forest, we are the only ones talking. Here, let’s get something to eat, I’m hungry. I’ll tell you when we get inside.”

The shop they choose to dine in is possibly the busiest one, and Wei WuXian sits them in a corner where they can hardly be seen. Why is he being so secretive about his illness ? Lan SiZhui wonders, but he says nothing. 

After they order, Wei WuXian takes a deep breath and turns to Lan SiZhui. “Listen, what I’m about to say is going to sound crazy, but this isn’t a joke.” 

“Okay…”

“And don’t laugh. You’ll hurt my feelings.”

“Please tell me, Senior Wei, I’m worried about you!”

It's only the second time he will have been able to say these words to someone else as Lan WangJi stole his chance the time before. He finds himself oddly nervous but decides to fight through the anxiety and get it over with. Worst case scenario, Lan SiZhui doesn't believe him. He smiles wryly at Lan SiZhui and utters two words that he knows will shock the poor junior.

Lan SiZhui’s eyes widen. He tilts his head. 

“Well?”

“You… you aren’t joking? You’re serious?”

“Isn’t that what I said?”

“How long have you… known?” He lowers his voice.

“About six weeks.”

“Six weeks ! And- and you… you didn’t tell me?” Lan SiZhui looks hurt . 

“Ah, SiZhui! You can’t really be offended by this! Lan Zhan and I wanted to keep it quiet.”

“But you said Zewu-jun knows…”

“Well, he found out accidentally. You’re the only person I’ve actually told.” 

“Oh.”

“Don’t take it to heart, SiZhui, it was at the advice of my physician to not announce anything yet. But I felt so bad keeping it from you that I went against her. You’re right, you deserved to know. And now you do. So, what do you think?” 

Their dishes are served just then, distracting Wei WuXian. “Mmm~ I’ve been craving this.”

Lan SiZhui warily looks down at the plain dish in front of Wei WuXian. There isn’t a spice in sight. There aren’t even any meats in this. Just vegetables and noodles and the plainest possible broth. “You… craved this?”

Wei WuXian puts down his bowl, having drunk half of the broth in the short period of time that Lan SiZhui was speaking. “Mm. Yeah, it’s thanks to this baby. I’m literally dreaming about this soup and that warm feeling after I drink from it. And I hate vegetables, but the celery they put in this has been cooked so well that I can’t get enough of it.” He looks up and calls to the waiter for another bowl. “And I’m so hungry, all the time. So when I eat this stuff, somehow it’s more filling to me? Plus, it makes me less nauseous. But still, it’s embarrassing. So don’t tell anyone about my diet, okay? You’d make me lose such major face that I could never recover.”

“Your secret’s safe with me, Senior Wei. Plus, it’s probably a good idea for you to have a healthier diet for the…” He trails off when the waiter returns to the table. When he’s gone, he adds, “For the baby.”

“Yeah, that’s what Lan Zhan says.” He puckers his lips. “But it’s still embarrassing.” 

“If you don’t mind me asking…” Lan SiZhui squeezes his hands together, eyes down, “When is it… coming? And… and how?” 

“Aren’t you shameless!” Wei WuXian gently kick’s his son’s shin, grinning at him all the while. “You wouldn’t ask a woman that, would you? So why am I subjected to such scrutiny?” He feigns offense. 

“No, Senior Wei, it’s not that, I— I’m sorry!”

Wei WuXian pouts for a few more moments before breaking the character. “If you really want to know, I’d love to tell you all about how babies are made. For now, I can tell you that this baby will be born in early March, probably before the spring starts. So enjoy this time, SiZhui. This will be the last autumn without the baby in our lives.” 

Chapter Text

Wei WuXian’s birthday was a few short weeks away when the morning sickness lost its ferocity and his medicine could actually take effect. When he squinted at himself in the mirror, he could notice a slight curve to his stomach now, but with robes it was indistinguishable. 

Part of him wants to shout to the rooftops how excited he is to be carrying Lan WangJi’s child, but his insecurity makes him keep quiet, for he knows that with the announcement will come questions; many, many questions that will make him feel poorly about himself. 

He’s afraid of being treated differently here on out because of the pregnancy, like he’s delicate or needs protecting when, comparing his skills to theirs, it should be the other way around. He’s seen how women are treated, how they’re told how to act, what to wear, what to eat, what not to do, only, never mind what she wants, all on account of “the baby”. If anyone told him not to eat a fifth bowl of Lan WangJi’s lotus rib soup because of “the baby”, he’d probably smash the bowl over their heads and ask for a sixth. But speaking of, he hasn’t had any good food in a long time, and while his inner mind craves it, he’s nauseated at the thought of spice.

It’s one such night when he’s poking at his stomach in front of the mirror, pulling his robes tight to attempt to distinguish the form, when Lan WangJi says, “Your birthday is soon.”

“I know,” Wei WuXian said with a pout. “Can’t believe I have to have this boring birthday without the baby, when next year they’ll be here to celebrate with me. What’s the point?” Perhaps I’d show more if I ate more heartily, he wondered. Do I want to show? 

“We can go to Caiyi Town for some Hunan cuisine, if you’d like.”

“When?” Wei WuXian perks up. “Can we go tomorrow? Never mind about waiting for my birthday.”

“Tomorrow it is, then.”

Wei WuXian grins, sliding into his lap on the bed. “I love you. You’re the best husband ever. Best dad. Best person.” 

“It is just food, Wei Ying.”

“No,” he rests his head on Lan WangJi’s shoulder. “It’s a lot more than that.”

.

So the next evening, they walk to Caiyi Town with Lan SiZhui, who admits he’s finding it difficult to keep the news quiet around his friends. “They know something’s up, I’m a terrible liar.” 

“It’s not like they’d ever suspect I’m having a baby, SiZhui, so don’t worry about that.” Wei WuXian pats his head, even though the boy is taller than him now. 

“And JingYi is going to kill me for not telling him, once he knows.”

“He will just have to understand.” Lan WangJi says. 

“JingYi doesn’t know how to do that.”

.

When they arrive at the restaurant, Wei WuXian feins absolute delight at the smell of spices, when in reality, he finds it to be sharp, on the precipice of nauseating. Though the Lan’s wouldn’t know the difference, he orders something that is only mildly spicy. 

While they wait for their supper, Wei WuXian gets the feeling that he is being watched. Lan WangJi doesn’t seem to notice, nor does Lan SiZhui. It’s just him.

And when he turns his head slightly towards the table behind him, he sees why. 

Someone is watching him. 

Supper is served shortly after that, and the person who is watching him leaves, but lingers by the door for a few moments.

“Why aren’t you eating, Senior Wei?” Lan SiZhui asks. “Is it cold?”

“No, I just don’t want it.” He says, aloof, and rests a hand on his cheek. “I guess I’m not as hungry as I thought I’d be.” He is, in fact, starving, but not for whatever was given to him. It’s as if his unborn child is piloting his body now; his emotions, his appetite, his reasoning. And the baby wants plain soup. Again. As always. 

“Is it too spicy?” Lan SiZhui asks again, hesitant to continue his own dinner.

“What? No way! It’s just… oh, don’t mind me, SiZhui. I’m in a delicate condition and all that so who knows how that’s tainted my tastebuds.”

“Maybe you should try one of the other dishes.” He suggests, surprised that Lan WangJi doesn’t seem at all concerned with Wei WuXian. 

“No, even the smell of all that spice is taking away my appetite. Well, if Lan Zhan had any doubts about his paternity…” Sighing sadly, Wei WuXian covers the bowls and pushes himself to his feet. “I’ll be back in a minute. Please, continue your supper without me.” 

.

“People were starting to wonder if you’d died again, that’s how long it’s been since anyone’s seen you.” Jiang Cheng scoffs, back pressed against the wall at the side of the building. “Why have you been hiding out? What trouble did you get yourself into? Did they make you go into seclusion or something stupid like that?” No greeting, no feigned politeness, just his typical self. For that, Wei WuXian is grateful. 

“I’ve gotten into trouble. Lots of it.” Wei WuXian replies, taking his time on the steps and towards the side of the building. “So much that it’ll affect the rest of my life. Can’t you see I look different?” He outstretches his arms. “Look how pale and thin I am, that’s what everyone says, but I think I look fatter than ever!”

Jiang Cheng looks him up and down, eyes narrow. Watching Wei WuXian’s mischievous look with his hands cradling his stomach, he sighs deeply. “No, no no…Please, no.”

It wasn’t at all the reaction he was expecting. Wei WuXian assumed his former brother would be confused out of his mind at whatever Wei WuXian was implying, not that he would guess it directly! “How did you know? You’re a lot brighter than you used to be, Sect Leader Jiang.”

“You’re an idiot, Wei WuXian. Of course you’d be the one to show everyone up again, defying all the odds. You just can’t help yourself from being the center of attention, can you?” What Jiang Cheng wanted to say was, Jin Ling told me about Mo XuanYu’s unique condition , but he preferred surprising Wei WuXian into thinking he was smart.

“You’ll be surprised to know that none of that was my intention. And just think about it: the YiLing Patriarch and Hanguang-jun with their combined capabilities? No other child will be such a prodigy, or as protected.”

“Protected, huh?” Jiang Cheng’s expression softens greatly. “So everyone over in GusuLan, they all know? How did they take it?”

Wei WuXian’s stomach twists at the idea of everyone already knowing. Telling his former brother alone was enough work, imagine hundreds of people! “No, no, besides Lan Zhan and Zewu-jun and SiZhui. We’re keeping it quiet for now.” Wei WuXian walks a little closer to him, perhaps afraid of someone overhearing. “I figured I had to tell you at some point, though.” 

“What about when you get… bigger, I guess? Then what will you say to everyone?”

What can he say? Hey everyone, guess who’s pregnant? Oh, you didn’t know it was possible? Allow me to show you a diagram of my reproductive system! But being Wei WuXian, he says, “I’ll go hide out in the wilderness somewhere like the strange beast I am and come back months later with a tiny human. Nothing more strange than my usual doings.”

“But if people ask, what will you—”

“There’s nothing I can say. No one’s going to outright suspect it’s from me if I don’t give them any hint of the truth. They’ll probably think I kidnapped the child or I fathered it somehow and killed its mother; that’s what people usually think of me. And if it’s anything like me, it’ll be hated by the outside world just as much because it came from me, but I don’t care. I wanted this… I wanted this for so long, Jiang Cheng, that nothing else really matters.”

“You’re wrong, Wei WuXian, and you know it. There may still be people that hate you, but they don’t know the whole story. And lucky for you, that kid is also the offspring of… him,” Jiang Cheng says, referring to Lan WangJi, “so it will be protected by the whole clan, and there will be some outsiders too. At least he hasn’t ruined his reputation.”

“Yeah, who would protect him, especially if he looks like me?” Wei WuXian circles his face. “They’ll treat him differently. Maybe not the Lan family directly, since it probably violates some rule, but everyone outside of it.”

Jiang Cheng pushes himself off of the wall, but his arms are still crossed. “You’re really overthinking this. People are going to adore having a GusuLan heir to spoil, to try and fluff their relationship with the sect. Who will protect him, really? Use your giant head, Wei WuXian. There’s Wen Ning, for starters, he’s fiercely loyal to you. I’d trust that he’d protect that kid with everything he’s got, but I wouldn’t trust him . And A-Ling will be excited to have a cousin, he likes you, though I don’t know why, so I’m sure he’d be on your side no matter what anyone else in that stupid sect has to say about it. And lastly, so would I and everyone in the Jiang Sect.”

Wei WuXian’s mouth hangs open on account of the sensation of a sharp pang through his heart. Does Jiang Cheng know how much those words mean to him? Does he mean it at all? “What… you? But-”

“Don't ask about it or I'll change my mind."

So he doesn’t ask. Smiling faintly, Wei WuXian nods and turns to leave.

 “Wait!” Jiang Cheng calls, for once a shout without a trace of aggression. His arms are still folded, expression still cross, but his voice is gentle. “When will it— you know… come out? Ugh, I don’t even want to think about how… ”

It’s a question that Wei WuXian, up until now, hasn’t openly discussed. After a pause, he replies, “I will write to you in the spring and tell you when you can visit.” He starts to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “And don’t say you don’t want to, Sect Leader Jiang, I know you’re curious! Sending Jin Ling won’t be enough.”

Jiang Cheng protests, of course, but once Wei WuXian is out of sight, he smiles and shakes his head. Knowing Wei WuXian is still listening around the corner, he says, “Does it count to celebrate your birthday in someone else’s body?”

“You know what? I’m not sure. But even if I knew when his birthday was, Lan Zhan would probably still celebrate mine.”

“Fair enough…”

“...Jiang Cheng.”

“Yeah?”

“You’ll come, right?”

“...”

“After the baby’s born, I mean. Not that I’m saying you have to, you’re not family or anything nor do you want to, and I’m not sure I’d want you to be. But…”

“Yeah. I’ll come. I’ll bring Jin Ling too.”

After a while, Wei WuXian doesn’t say anymore and Jiang Cheng realizes that he must’ve gone back inside. Later, he watches Wei WuXian leave with Lan WangJi and Lan SiZhui— his family— and he imagines what life might be like in a world where he had joined them for dinner instead of watching from afar. But he won’t think about that now. 

.

“I’m sorry I wasted a trip tonight.” Wei WuXian says once the two of them are safe in the confines of their home. Lan SiZhui already went to the residence he shares with a few juniors, deciding against staying with his parents that night in favor of his friends. Which, tonight, was a good thing. “I guess from now on, we can stick to plain food. It certainly saves you money, these eating habits of mine.” 

Lan WangJi catches his hand and kisses it softly. “Do not worry about money.”

“I have to worry about something, Lan Zhan, or else what am I good for right now? I feel so anxious tonight. Even a bath wouldn’t help much.”

After pulling back the sheets, Lan WangJi sits down on the side of the bed and opens his arms. “Come here, Wei Ying.”

“I can’t go to sleep yet.” Wei WuXian admits, hugging himself. “I’m really hungry… sorry…”

So Lan WangJi gets up. He draws water for the bath. He undresses Wei WuXian and helps him into the tub. Then, he leaves the jinshi, returning a short while later with a second supper, which he places on a small table beside the tub. “Eat. I can bring more.”

“I love you.”

After a proper supper and bath, he does feel a lot better. The tenseness leaves his shoulders, but there’s still an ache in his back and particularly, in his heart. 

When both are undressed and settled in bed, Lan WangJi finally asks, “Did you tell him?”

Up until that moment, Wei WuXian hadn’t stopped thinking about it, though on the outside he looked absent-minded and tired, tracing the pattern of the Wen scar on Lan WangJi’s chest. Eventually, throat tight, he replies,“Yeah, I did. He took it better than expected.”

“Mn. Good.”

“I… asked him to visit. After… you know.” His eyes fill with tears, which he hates, but he’s glad it’s too dark for Lan WangJi to see him. “Which was probably stupid, he won’t want to come. He… he hates it here, and- and you two don’t get along, so it was a dumb idea.”

“If you want Jiang WanYin to visit, I am fine with it too.” As if sensing Wei WuXian’s emotions, he holds him a little tighter, gently rubbing his back. In a less vulnerable state, Wei WuXian could probably still hold everything in, but this baby loves affecting his emotional balance, and as such, he is soon bawling in his husband’s arms, all while pretending he isn’t at all. 

“Yeah, I doubt he’ll actually come, though. I don’t even know why I asked him to. He hates me, everyone hates me, and he probably thinks I’m even stranger than before. He’ll be ashamed to know me.” 

“He does not hate you, Wei Ying.” Lan WangJi kisses his forehead, hand sliding down to rest on the small bump of his stomach. “It sounds as if he was trying to be cordial. Perhaps he came to Gusu with the intention of seeing you for your birthday.”

“No, he would never do that. By gaining you and your wonderful home and a new life, I lost the chance of reconciliation with anyone in my past one.”

“Babies tend to bring people together.” Lan WangJi offers. “Wait and see.”

“I would love for that to be the case.” He closes his eyes. “I keep imagining what Shijie would think if she saw me now, if she could meet the baby.”

“She would be proud of you.”

“You think so?” 

“Mn. I know so.”

Wei WuXian smiles weakly, starting to doze off. Lan WangJi kisses his own hand, then places it back on Wei WuXian’s stomach. “Goodnight.” 

***

Wei WuXian is pulling dead plants from the garden on his birthday when a servant announces that Sect Leader Jiang has come to see him, and he’s waiting around front. It’s been two weeks since they last saw each other in Caiyi Town, and since then, Wei WuXian has doubled in size. He can still hide it under particularly loose robes, but everyone has suspected his weight gain by this point. He wears stockings to hide the large blue veins popping up on his calves. His fingers are starting to swell. But hey! At least he can eat now. 

“Are you joking?” He asks the servant. “Why would Sect Leader Jiang be here?”

“For the sect meeting… but he asked to see you, first.” 

“Right, right… I thought that started tomorrow…” He was slow to his feet, trying his best to hide that. “Alright, send him over.”

Moments later, he sees Jiang Cheng coming this way alongside his nephew, who grows taller by the day. One of them looks happy to see him.

“I told you to come back in the spring!” Wei WuXian says teasingly, making sure to salute respectfully to the young sect leader he is accompanied by. “How are you, Young Master?”

“Is it true that you’re having a baby?” Jin Ling blurts, and Jiang Cheng elbows him in the gut. “I- I mean…”

“Who told you?” Wei WuXian asks, already knowing the answer.

“You told me to come with A-Ling in the spring.” Jiang Cheng points out. “So I had to tell him why in advance.” 

“Right, right.” He turns to Jin Ling. “It’s very true.”

“You look… bigger.” Jiang Cheng nods towards his midsection. 

“I know, right? Now I’m getting scared.” He laughs. “I have no idea what to expect, size-wise. No parents to ask about it. I could get to the size of a watermelon.”

“My aunt got about this big…” Jin Ling holds his hand a good two feet out, and Wei WuXian looks down. 

“ That big?” 

“Yeah!”

“You didn’t look into that before throwing yourself into this, did you?” Jiang Cheng asks. “Do you even have a decent doctor picked out? You should have a whole team by this point.”

“Of course I have a doctor, I’m not that stupid. I’ll have you know that I did a lot of research into this prior to even getting pregnant!” 

Jiang Cheng facepalms at his volume and blatant honesty, but there’s no one around to hear. 

“Does SiZhui know about it?” Jin Ling eventually asks. “JingYi told me he was acting strangely recently.”

“That boy can’t keep a secret to save his life,” Wei WuXian said with a sigh, “I should’ve kept it from him.” 

“I don’t think you can keep it from anyone for much longer.” Jiang Cheng says, nodding towards his stomach. “It’s… going to be even more obvious soon. You’d be a fool not to say something. And who would even care if you did?”

“I would.” Wei WuXian pulls his robes tighter around him. 

.

They host Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling for dinner. It’s plain, just how Wei WuXian likes it right now, and Jiang Cheng has never looked so alarmed when Wei WuXian downs his third bowl of an unseasoned vegetable soup. 

“Are you sure he’s alright, Hanguang-jun?” Jin Ling asks, speaking for his uncle.

“Mn.” 

“He’s in excellent health!” Lan SiZhui says, refilling Wei WuXian’s bowl without being asked. “His… preferences have just temporarily changed.”

“And I don’t know why I want this stuff.” Wei WuXian adds. “As I’m drinking it, I’m like, “god this sucks”, but at the same time I can’t stop eating it? I almost got sick at that Hunan Cuisine restaurant last time from the spices alone. I can hardly believe the amount of changes happening to me. SiZhui and Lan Zhan say they’re temporary, but I don’t know… I’m afraid.” 

“You’ve been away from Yunmeng for too long, that’s the problem.” Jin Ling says. “Are you going to take the baby there someday?”

“Oh, they’ll go everywhere.” Wei WuXian pats Lan WangJi’s knee. “And Lanling, too, if we’re given permission.”

“Are you kidding? Of course you can bring them there! It’d be nice to have some kind of distraction from the mess that is my sect.” 

After supper, Lan WangJi and Lan SiZhui offer to take their guests back to their quarters. Jiang Cheng says he’ll catch up, and as a result he and Wei WuXian are left alone. He helps gather up the supper dishes, neither making much conversation, until suddenly he feels a movement in his lower stomach— nothing like the ambiguous fluttering he thought he felt the week before. It’s so sudden and intense that he literally drops the bowls he’s holding and moves to cradle the spot he felt it.

“What the hell…?” Jiang Cheng asks, ready to drop everything and rush to his side, embarrassingly enough, trying to run through every last possibility for this sudden event, every potential action he can do to help—

Wei WuXian sits down slowly, smile creeping onto his face when he feels it again. “They’re moving. I can- I can feel it…” 

“Where?” He crouches down, hesitant to touch but still curious.

“I don’t think you could feel it.” He says. “It’s on the inside.”

“How the hell does that work?” 

“It’s because they’re still too small. If you… if you come again in a month or two, I’m sure you could. Wow …” He sits there, grinning out at the opposite wall as if he’s entered another world until the kicking stops, when he still looks quite fond.

“Yeah, I don’t know if I can.”

Wei WuXian looks down. “I know. I was… I was shocked that you came today at all.”

“Well, I wanted to deliver this in person.” Reaching into his sleeves, he pulls out an item wrapped in cloth. When Wei WuXian opens it, he finds a Jiang sect bell. 

“For the baby, when they need it.” He explains, “And for you, in the meantime.” 

.

Wei WuXian told Lan WangJi about the baby kicking as soon as he came back. When he heard him walking up the pebbled path to their jingshi, he burst through the door, exclaiming his husband’s name all the way. “I felt them move, I felt them move!” 

It was a relief, in many ways. It cemented the realness of all of this, reassuring him that they were alive and well. And it was a very lovely birthday gift. 

“Why can’t I feel them move yet?” Lan WangJi asked late that night after two hours of Wei WuXian commenting on their movement and Lan WangJi, hand on his stomach, having not felt a thing.

“I don’t know, Lan Zhan, I can certainly feel it.” Wei WuXian said. “But why don’t you ask the doctor tomorrow at our check-up? You’re always so quiet when we go, but I know you have questions.”

***

He does indeed ask about it, the following day at the appointment. Lan Lia attributes it to the baby being small and in a deeper place. “You’ll feel it soon enough,” She said. “You’ve grown quite drastically over the past few weeks.”

“Thanks for pointing it out.” Wei WuXian murmurs. “Is it because of my diet?”

“No, definitely not. You’ll gain more weight every week from here on out, if the baby is healthy.”

“Should he eat more to prepare for that?” Lan WangJi asks. 

“In general, just eat when you’re hungry.” She says to Wei WuXian. “There’s no harm in that.”

Wei WuXian begins to pout. “And I still have four months left of this?”

“Yes you do. And next month, when you visit, we’ll start discussing birth plans.”

“So soon?”

“Because it’s you, I’d like to be prepared.” 

Despite frequent reminders that he won’t feel any movement, Lan WangJi’s hand is always at some place on Wei WuXian’s stomach at night, waiting for the moment when he can finally feel the little human they’re bringing into the world in just a few short months. Speaking of which, the whole idea is still unbelievable in some aspects. Many, many people in the Sect still do not and will not know about the child until they are born, but there is one person who finally had to be informed, whether they liked it or not: Lan QiRen.

Yes, it was the beginning of November, a crisp, cold day, and Wei WuXian hated the idea of leaving their warm bed to be lectured by the old man and wanted Lan WangJi to deal with it alone, but they both knew that Lan QiRen wouldn’t believe the story without seeing it for himself. So he bundled himself up in his warmest robes and held Lan WangJi’s arm the entire walk to their undoubtable lecture. “Maybe I’ll finally stress him to death.”

“He will have to get over it.”

Grinning, Wei WuXian mulls on his words the rest of the walk. Instead of his usual “wait for me outside”, he walks right in with Wei WuXian, who suddenly feels very unsure. Mostly whether he can hold his tongue should Lan QiRen start to insult Lan WangJi or his baby. An insult against himself he could take and was well used to by this point, but Lan WangJi didn’t deserve anything negative to be said about him, and his baby a hundred times moreso. 

The old man had already been informed that they were coming, so that spared at least a little bit of his anger. But not a minute after Wei WuXian sat near him, the veins in his neck began to poke out a bit. Eventually, he’ll have to look at Wei WuXian directly, and that should be very interesting…

Lan WangJi is the one to explain. He’s good at getting his point across in as few words as possible, and he comes right out and says it. “Wei Ying and I are expecting a child.”

Lan QiRen’s eyebrows raise to his hairline as he looks between them in utter confusion. Then, he sees the way Wei WuXian subtly strokes his stomach. “This is ridiculous! WangJi, you cannot honestly expect me to believe this foolishness! I’ve heard many a tall tale from this one, but from you? Do you think my heart can take such nonsense?”

“It is the truth, Uncle.” Lan WangJi replies evenly, eye contact never wavering. “And we have known of this for more than three months.”

“Three months? Hah! If it was true, then why wouldn’t you have said so earlier?” 

“Anyone who was important already was told ages ago,” Wei WuXian informs him with a bitter smile. “Your Sect Leader’s known since almost the beginning, and he didn’t throw a fit about it. Sect Leader Jiang knows, Sect Leader Jin, SiZhui, and—”

“You honestly expect me to believe that a man can give birth to a child?”

“Do you want me to show you how?” 

“Wei Ying…” Lan WangJi mumbles, placing a hand over Wei WuXian’s knee.

“WangJi, I beg of you, please tell me you are not reproducing with this… this…”

“This shameless, frivolous, impudent disgrace? Don’t worry, I finished it for you!” Wei WuXian pushed himself into a standing position, while also shoving the table forward a few feet. “And I don’t have to raise this shameless, frivolous, impudent little disgrace of a baby here either!”

“You are a disgrace to everything we are here, Wei WuXian, and any child coming from you will be one and the same. You are—”

He froze in his tracks. He spun around and faces the old man, thrusting a finger at him. “ Don’t you ever say anything about my child again !”

“Do not forget yourself, Wei WuXian!” Lan QiRen’s face is blood red, and even Lan WangJi looks somewhat ready to burst. “The only reason you are here is because of our generosity. If it were up to me--”

“Uncle, that is enough.” Lan WangJi interjects, shocking everybody in the room. Wei WuXian knows he will be lectured for doing such a thing, and right now he doesn’t care.

“I know, if it were up to you, I’d be gone, out on the street! Child or not! It’d be better out on the street than stuck here with you! I can't do... I can't do shit without you throwing a fucking tantrum!"

Wei WuXian burst out of the room, leaving Lan WangJi alone with his uncle. “That was uncalled for,” He seethed. “Uncle, he did nothing to you.”

“Nothing? He disrespects me every time we cross paths!”

“You had no reason to say such things to him, nor about my child. Wei Ying has every right to be upset. As do I.”

“This is insubordination! You will take his punishments today, WangJi.”

For three days after that confrontation, it is said that Lan QiRen was on bedrest due to his high blood pressure.

.

These days, no one lets Wei WuXian drink, so when he gets overly angry or stressed, he walks. Be it a mile or ten, it doesn’t matter, he walks until the anger subsides. Knowing that it will probably take fifty miles to wear off this anger, he thinks ahead and brings water.

Just as he’s leaving the Sect, Lan SiZhui catches up with him. “Where are you going, Senior Wei?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Does Hanguang-jun know you’re—”

“Oh, why does he need to know? I can do whatever I want, SiZhui. Aren’t you late for a class or something?” He didn’t mean to sound so harsh, and he’d never take his anger out on that sweet young boy. "I just... need to be alone. Okay?"

"Yeah."

Lan SiZhui didn’t follow him.

Kicking rocks out of his way, Wei WuXian storms down the path without notice or care for anyone else who may be around. That old fat bastard holds the longest grudges ! It’s getting ridiculous ! He thinks, taking a swig from the water jug. I’ve changed, haven’t I ? I don’t cause any mischief anymore. I make his beloved nephew happy. I’m literally giving them another heir to this shithole.  

Okay, the Lan Sect is not a shithole and he would never say that out loud. And even though he only thought it, he still feels a bit bad for thinking it as most of the time he is quite happy here and lives far more luxurious than he ever would have anyplace else. Their home is comfortable and he never wants for anything. He’s in warm, expensively made clothing that doesn’t awkwardly hang off of him or wear thin after several uses. His baby will never know the pain of hunger or poverty.

As he was too focused on his thoughts, he accidentally stumbled on a log and tripped after some miles of walking. Having no desire to get back onto his feet, he stayed seated on the ground, hugging his knees the best he could. He imagines his baby, still in diapers, being forced to rise at 5 in the morning, recite family rules before they can even read, be taught how to drink tea properly before they can eat with a spoon on their own. He tenses at the thought. In any case, I can always just forbid my child from seeing the old man. Maybe I won’t let them join the Sect at all. Lan Zhan and I can start our own Sect without all these stupid rules and bossy old men.

…

But in many ways, he already feels lost. He told Lan WangJi that he wanted the baby to take the Lan surname instead of his. With that surname came many expectations that couldn’t be erased just because Wei WuXian stomped his foot about it. The thought of his baby facing any sort of punishment here, or anywhere else, nearly brings him to tears. 

“Are you alright, Young Master Wei?” Startled, he turns around to see white robes (to his dismay) and knew the voice to be of Lan XiChen.

“Yeah just… just sitting around.”

“Ah, the middle of the path probably isn’t very comfortable though, is it?”

“I’ve sat in better places.” Wei WuXian admits, accepting Lan XiChen’s hand to help him get up. “What are you doing out here, Sect Leader Lan?”

“You don’t have to be that formal, Young Master Wei. And I am only here because I heard the ruckus my uncle caused, and then saw you leaving with a pack over your shoulder. I was curious to see how far you’d go.”

“Hmmph. I wonder if I should go back.” Wei WuXian dusted off his backside and began to walk again in the same direction, Lan XiChen at his side. “I could probably live up in one of these trees and scare the locals into dropping their belongings to run away. I could then—”

“That won’t be necessary.” 

Wei WuXian shuts up for a few moments, observing the dead woods around them. It’s so cold , nothing like the heat of Yunmeng he grew up in. “I don’t belong at your Sect. I want to, terribly, and I really do like it there. But it will never work, not so long as there are Sect rules against me. And- and… what, my child will then be forbidden to speak to me within the Sect? My own child?”

Lan XiChen is quiet for a long moment, finger pressed to his lips. “I suppose that won’t do at all.”

“I’ve made mistakes, plenty of them. And I’m not ashamed of them right now, but if my child was ashamed of me, I don’t know how I could live with myself.”

“I understand. A child should never have to bear that sort of weight.” After another pause, he says, “Come back to the Sect. I will speak to the elders on yours and my brother’s behalf, everything will be fine.” Wei WuXian gives him a skeptic look, and so Lan XiChen adds, “You may have forgotten who is the leader of the Sect, Young Master Wei. I’ll try to have something in place before my niece or nephew is born.”

Hesitantly, he agrees. “But only because my feet hurt and it’s getting too cold, not because I’m confident anyone will ever remove a rule from that wall.”

“No, we typically don’t,” Lan XiChen laughs softly. “But you’ve done well to follow most of them since you began living here, I will say. You’re doing great, Young Master Wei. The juniors… adore you. They’ve learned so much, adapted so much.. you’ve brought so much to GusuLan. As a thanks, I want to make your time here as comfortable as possible… but as you can imagine, it’s not easy.”

Lan XiChen returns Wei WuXian, safe and sound, to his brother’s cottage with a promise that things won’t be as bad as Wei WuXian fears them to be, after the baby is born. Even though Lan XiChen sounded confident in his words, he’s still not convinced life would be any better here until Lan QiRen dies or finally says “good riddance” and moves away, neither of which seem likely at this point.

He grabs a snack for himself and buries himself away in the sheets for a nice late morning nap, thoroughly exhausted from his ten mile hike and the emotional distress of the morning…

***

“Wei Ying.” Lan WangJi’s voice is a bit strained when he comes into the bedroom, and Wei WuXian pretends to be dead on the floor to avoid being scolded. Lan WangJi stepped over him and places a box on the desk. “Get up. I brought dinner.”

Wei WuXian lifts his head. “Aren’t you furious with me? Aren’t you planning on punishing me greatly? Making me sleep on the floor?”

“No. Get up.”

“I didn’t mean to run my mouth off like that. I’m tired, you know. Sometimes I forget myself.”

“It’s alright. Come here?”

Wei WuXian slowly rolls onto his side and then to his feet, moving into his husband’s lap. “I really am sorry for saying those things.”

“As I have said, there is no such thing as sorry between—”

“But I am . You were lectured on my behalf, weren’t you?”

“No.” He opens the box and takes out the dishes, filling the air with the sweet smell of spice, then places chopsticks in his hands. “Eat.”

“Well, if he didn’t lecture you about me, then what did he say?” Wei WuXian refuses to eat until he knows.

“He said you were too thin.”

Wei WuXian laughed at the revelation and threw his arms around his husband’s neck. “You're such a bad liar, Lan Zhan, but I love you anyway."

“Mn… if you do, you will eat this.”

Sitting crosslegged, he eats dutifully, but he can never stay quiet for long. “I ran into your brother.”

Lan WangJi seems a bit surprised. “How?”

“I was walking, trying to calm myself down, and he followed me from the Sect. He persuaded me to come back…”

“Brother… has not left his seclusion today.”

“What are you saying, Lan Zhan? Of course he did, I saw him with my own eyes!”

Lan WangJi is puzzled as he is sure that Lan XiChen has hardly left seclusion in a long while. In fact, he visited him only moments ago, where he was in the same position as he’d been since morning. “How far did you walk?”

“I was several miles away by the time he caught up. He told me he’d talk to the elders on our behalf.”

“That is strange.."

***

A light snow flurries around Wei WuXian as he walks at his husband’s side up the mountain. Their pace is much slower than before, and Wei WuXian is glad for the extra warmth that his new winter cloak provides. It snows much earlier here than it did in Yiling or Yunmeng, and Wei WuXian has a love-hate relationship with the cold. Honestly, he’s eager to get back indoors today, snuggle under a blanket and hide from the cold. But Lan WangJi wanted him to accompany him while he taught today, and laying around the house all day is getting boring anyway. 

Turns out, class is boring, too. 

Wei WuXian sits beside him, fist against his cheek, for what feels like hours. He wants to do something, but his bump is starting to show and he’s keen on avoiding any scrutiny about it. 

After his seventeenth yawn, class finally ends and Wei WuXian breathes a sigh of relief. “ Finally , Lan Zhan,” he whines, “if you were my teacher, I’d hate you.”

“Why?”

“Because you lecture on and on and then assign homework—”

“That’s the purpose of this class.”

“Yeah, but wouldn’t it be more fun to actually show them what you’re talking about? Instead of essays about books, make them learn from experience!”

“Wei Ying, they’re twelve.”

“Still~! We could take them down to Caiyi Town and show them what a water ghoul looks like. Or I could summon a few demons, and—”

Lan WangJi hushes him with a kiss, a tiny smile on his lips. “If you’d like to petition a field trip to Uncle, I will not stop you.”

“I don’t have to petition. These children follow me like ducklings. If I, Wei WuXian, say that I’m going to capture a water ghoul, they’ll all follow me.” He boasts. “And just think, soon enough~ there will be another little one following me around.”

“Very soon.”

“What might this clan of yours think if I leave his schooling to yours truly?” 

“Nothing good.” Lan WangJi admits. “But that is years from now.”

“WangJi,” Footsteps approach the room and Wei WuXian slides behind Lan WangJi inconspicuously, “Have you seen Wei WuXian?”

Crap, it’s Lan Qiren. Why would that old goon want anything to do with him after their argument?

“He is here.”

Wei WuXian smacks his husband’s back before making an appearance. 

Lan Qiren looks surprised, but quickly regains his composure. “I trust you are well.”

“As well as I can be.” Wei WuXian folds his arms. “Am I being lectured again?” 

“No, no.” He looks as if he isn’t sure whether to sit or stand, to walk forward or retreat, and Wei WuXian is living for his awkwardness. “I... just came by to check in.”

“That’s all?”

“And I suppose to… acknowledge that things were said the other day, by both of us, but… perhaps mostly me. It was against our family principles to speak the way I did. Therefore… I apologize.” 

Wei WuXian allows himself to smile a little. “Then maybe you’ve come to your senses. Does that mean you’ll remove the rules from the wall?”

“No, of course not. Never in our history has anyone removed rules from the wall. That’s why we have so many, some contradicting others.”

“It was your stupid idea to put it up in the first place, and I’m sure if there was a rule against you it’d be down already, wouldn’t it?” 

“There would never be a rule against me.”

“Well what if I make one now!” Wei WuXian rises to his feet, not nearly as quickly as he wanted to. “What if I make the rule that you are never, ever allowed to come in contact with my baby?! What then??”

Lan Qiren is aghast, looking to Lan WangJi to defend him, to shut Wei WuXian up. But he’s looking right back at Lan Qiren as if he’s asking the same question. 

“That’s it! I give up! I was here to offer a compromise, but you are officially incorrigible, Wei WuXian! And you, WangJi, are no better! The rules will stay, and I won’t change anything!!” 

.

“ The rules will stay, and I won’t change anything~ waaaaa~” Wei WuXian mocks as he continuously scratches at the wall of rules with suibian. “What a dick he is. Rules can be removed, plain and simple!” Yet every time he comes close to scratching off his name, the wall restores itself. Perhaps only a clan member can do this, but he’s not going to give up trying yet! 

After a while, Lan JingYi comes along. Since he loves mischief, he stops to marvel at the attempted work that Wei WuXian is doing. “How’s that going?”

“It’s getting there.” Wei WuXian grumbles, now resolving to slashing at the stone instead of chipping at it. He’s panting, already exhausted, but too stubborn to give up yet. 

Lan JingYi admires the long wall, from “do not kill within the Cloud Recesses” all the way down to “speaking to Wei Wuxian is forbidden”. “This rule has been up for what, three or four years now?”

“It doesn’t matter how long, it needs to go!”

“You never cared much before. I thought you were honored by it.” Lan JingYi runs a hand across the wall as the damage disappears. “You said you were the first in history to have a specific rule against him, therefore it was an achievement.” 

Wei WuXian groans, tossing his sword to the ground. “It didn’t matter before now!”

“Why? Is there someone you want to hide this from?”

“Yes! My baby! I’m pregnant, isn’t it obvious by now? I- I mean, look at me and how big I am! My ankles are swollen already! I hardly go out anymore!” 

Lan JingYi’s eyes go wide, but then he’s smirking, and Wei WuXian is too annoyed to care. “I knew it, I knew SiZhui was hiding something! Wait ‘til I tell—”

“You can’t tell anyone about this, JingYi, I mean it!” 

He’d never seen his senior speak so intensely, and despite being nearly twenty and taller than him, he was suddenly intimidated. He took a step back, thinking, You might as well tell everyone with how you’re shouting.  “I won’t tell anyone, Senior Wei, but… why? Won’t it become obvious?”

“I don’t care if it’s obvious.” Wei WuXian starts picking at the wall again, gritting his teeth. “ Damn it! Will you help me over here?”

“It’s useless to try. Only someone like Zewu-jun could do it, I guess, but maybe not even him. I’ve never seen a rule removed, ever.”

“Could I add one, then?”

“Only the elders and Zewu-jun can. That’s why the wall is so long.”

Red faced, Wei WuXian huffs out a breath. “Is that so?”

So it’s really no surprise to find Wei WuXian hammering a carved piece of wood out in front of he and Lan WangJi’s house later that afternoon. A few gather to whisper about the spectacle. Lan SiZhui blushes and hurries past them. 

“Do you need my help with anything, Senior Wei?” 

“Nope, I’ve got it.” He steps back to admire his handiwork. 

Lan Qiren is forbidden from this residence. 

Lan Qiren is forbidden to be spoken of at this residence.

Speaking to Lan Qiren is forbidden at this residence.

“What do you think, SiZhui? Should I add more?”

“If you’d like— um… where’s Hanguang-jun? Has he started supper?”

“Yes, he’s gone off to make it.”

“Is there anything I can help with around the house? Laundry? Cleaning? Moving your sign?”

“No! Absolutely not! Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m lazy! I can handle myself, you know, I was once the Yiling Patriarch!” Wei WuXian exclaims with a hand on his hip. Then, he turns back to the sign. “Perhaps ‘Lan Qiren’s rules are forbidden to be followed at this residence, or something like that. What do you think?” He’s asking, but he’s not really talking to his son. He’s too angry to focus, and he needs to be brought back to earth. 

“You… you seem tired, Senior Wei.”

“SiZhui, don’t.” He stands back to admire his handiwork a final time, frowning immediately. “No, no, I need this larger. I want a sign as big as the roof of the jinshi, so big you could see it from the stars. That’ll send a message.”

“Senior Wei—”

“Do you think you could find someone to put it together for me in Caiyi Town?”

“Yes, but Senior Wei—”

“Or maybe I could do it myself… if I could find a ladder, then I’d have no problem, assuming it doesn’t snow.” 

“Senior Wei, you’re—! You’re being ridiculous!” He regrets it the moment those words leave his mouth. He knows he’s made a bitter mistake, he knows he’s undoubtedly both enraged and hurt the feelings of his senior, but there’s no taking it back. 

Wei WuXian blinks at him, shifting his gaze from him to his own wall of rules and back. “How am I being ridiculous?”

“I didn’t mean to say that.”

“But you still would’ve thought it. What am I doing that’s ridiculous?” 

“I just think…” he sighs, trying again. “Grandmaster Lan doesn’t ever change his mind. If anything, this sign will make him angrier, not make him understand you.”

“That’s just the thing, SiZhui. He’s never going to understand me, and he won’t even try. These past three years, I have done everything to prove myself worthy of being a good disciple, right? I don’t even go out after dark anymore, I keep quiet during banquets and stay respectful during meetings. But he’s always glaring at me! And for what? Would he glare at me if he thought I was Mo XuanYu, even if I had the same behavior?”

“Grandmaster Lan glares at everyone.” Lan SiZhui says, “Not that it excuses his behavior, of course! But it’s true.” When he sees the way his senior’s shoulders sag, he gently takes his arm. “Let’s go inside. I’ll find someone in Caiyi Town tomorrow who can make us a bigger sign, alright?”

“I am really tired… otherwise I’d say no.”

***

He returned to the Burial Grounds, the place his mind had gone many times in the past that had ceased all appearances thus far in the pregnancy. Now, it was back. He’s crouched in a field, trying to make plants grow as usual. There are people nearby, he can hear their voices, but whenever he looks around, no one’s there. It’s a cheerful time, children are laughing in the distance, the sun is shining. He drops a few seeds, and after rolling his eyes playfully, looks down to see that they’ve all fallen into a deep hole in the ground. When did that hole get there?

Just then, Lan Wangji walks by. “It needs to be watered.” He explains, passing him a bucket. “Otherwise it will not bloom.”

“I didn’t want to plant my seeds here, though. The sun doesn’t shine as bright here.”

“It’s too late, the plant cannot be moved from its roots.” Lan Wangji pours the bucket of water into the hole. “Now we wait.”

So he waits. He waits for what feels like a thousand years, until a small sound comes from beneath the damp soil, where the now buried seeds are supposed to be. It’s a baby’s cry! How could a baby be buried in the soil? He digs and digs, ‘til he’s sinking into the soil, too, and finally, he pulls a baby — roots wrapped all around it, right out of the ground! A faceless, newborn baby! “Lan Zhan!” he calls, pulling the roots away from the baby’s body. But no one comes. He’s alone. What should he do? He’s read so many books, but he can’t remember any advice. He should… he should feed it, right? Right! Feed it and— and keep it warm! He climbs to his feet and races across the field, soon after tripping over a random log, the poor baby flying out of his arms! He squeezes his eyes shut and hears a crack , as if someone’s dropped an egg…

And when he looks, all that’s left of his baby is literally an egg shell and yolk. His child… was an egg? Never mind the ridiculousness of it, his heart breaks like any of the circumstances make sense!

“What have I done?!” He cries, gently scooping up the egg yolk. “I’ll never be a good father! I’m so sorry!”

“ Wei Ying.” 

It’s over. He’s still in his own bed, it was just a dream, and yet he’s so confused about the dream that he lies there in silence for several minutes. Lan WangJi has lit the candles at their bedside and hovers over him in concern, brows knitted. Judging by the look on his face, Wei WuXian must’ve been talking in his sleep. “Wei Ying, are you—”

“It was just a dream…” He whispers, using his husband’s shoulder to pull himself into a sitting position. “I need to walk. If I’m dreaming about babies coming from seeds who then turn into eggs, I need to walk. These dreams are getting weirder and weirder.”

“I will go with you.”

He helps Wei WuXian with his shoes and cloak, even though he could probably still put them on himself. They walk down the smooth pebbled paths, heading nowhere in particular. 

As weird as the dream was, it was obvious it had to do with his apprehensions towards parenthood. He’s afraid he might hurt the baby somehow. The location he “planted” the baby in obviously symbolizes being here, being unsure if this is the right place to raise them. 

When Lan WangJi pauses to admire an owl swooping by, Wei WuXian asks, “Do you ever feel like you’re suffocating?” 

Be it the fogginess of his sleepy brain, but it takes Lan WangJi a few moments to understand what he means. “I know the location of the jinshi can be… restrictive, especially with so many living close-by.” 

Wei WuXian nods. “I wish there was someplace else within the Cloud Recesses that we could stay. Besides, the jingshi doesn’t really have the space for a baby anyway.” 

An idea comes to Lan WangJi. “Are you up for a bit of a hike?” 

Down the mountain a ways lies a cottage in relative disarray compared to the rest of the sect. It is situated just above a meadow, and Wei WuXian remembers that Lan WangJi’s rabbits are often here in the summertime. However, he’s never noticed this house before. 

“Did JingYi build this, or something?” 

“It was a project of his and a few other juniors as punishment. They gave up.” 

“Wow~” 

“Uncle was going to hire people to bring it up to standards.”

“Is it safe to go inside?”

“It should be.”

Wei WuXian squeezes his hand. “This would be a nice place to live, dangerous house aside. It’s a lot farther away from the others compared to the jinshi.”

The grass is still tall in the meadow they trudge through. “How many bedrooms?”

“Just one, but we could ask for a second.”

“Yeah, we could…” It’s too dark to see much inside, and he’s not exactly inclined to step inside, but he sees the potential. He likes it. “Do you think you could talk to that uncle of yours about it tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

***

And he goes the very next morning, but not to his uncle. He figures his brother’s approval is all he needs. 

Lan XiChen has been in and out of seclusion for a few years now. He does his best to visit his brother almost every day, hoping that someday he’ll come over to find his brother not there, but out enjoying the sunshine, visiting with old friends, doing something . 

Today, he’s taking his tea by the window. Lan WangJi sits across from him, pouring himself a cup of tea. “Good morning, Brother.”

“Good morning, WangJi. How is Young Master Wei?”

“That is why I came…” He sets down his cup. “Wei Ying expressed that the jinshi is not ‘private’ enough. He feels overwhelmed.”

Lan XiChen nods. “So what do you propose?”

He tells him about the half-finished cottage by the rabbit’s meadow, and Lan XiChen smiles. “That sounds like a great idea. We’ll send for a team to continue its construction tomorrow. Spare no expense, WangJi.”

He nods. “Thank you, Brother.”

***

Lan WangJi hasn’t tried to get Wei WuXian up at a decent hour in weeks. Late last month, the horrible morning sickness finally subsided, and Wei WuXian had plenty of sleep to catch on. So, he leaves him be after the first prod— waking him only to say he was leaving for the day— and doesn’t mind returning in the afternoon to find that Wei WuXian only recently got up. He’s gained a small bit of weight, but he is still small and laments that he isn’t showing enough to brag about the pregnancy.

One morning, before any hints of sun climb through the windows, Lan WangJi prepares to get up as always, knowing it is five. Usually, he can effortlessly roll Wei WuXian’s sleeping form off of him and onto the pillow beside them, but this morning, Wei WuXian will not budge. He is already awake, which is shocking enough as it is, and clings tighter when Lan WangJi tries to move him. “Wei Ying…”

“Please hold me awhile longer, Lan Zhan.” Wei WuXian whispers, nuzzling his face into his husband’s chest. 

“Will you go with me to supervise the workers today?”

Wei WuXian raises an eyebrow.

“I want you to make the house however you like it.”

“Okay. I’ll come… but later. I’m so tired today.” 

He doesn’t have to ask why. He just holds him tighter.

.

Wei WuXian is quiet still, much more reserved than he once was. He spends most of his time with the juniors and at Lan WangJi’s side, but he never teases him out in the open as he used to. His smiles are rare in public, except undoubtedly when Lan WangJi asks, hand on Wei WuXian’s waist, “How is my child?”

That always perks him up, and Lan WangJi knows it. Today is no different. He places a hand on his just slightly visible bump (his loose robes hold an advantage in that aspect). “Kicking and kicking! I did not realize that the Lan Sect was so dedicated as to begin training so early as in the womb! I think they’re fighting a siege in there!”

Lan WangJi smiles too. “Good. It means they are strong like you.”

“It’s not such a good thing, you know! It can be very annoying when I’m trying to sleep, or to focus, or do anything! And they love your Sect’s plain, boring food, and none of mine! I’m going to eat like a pig when they are born.”

“Mn. They’re taking care of you, then. Making you eat healthier things.”

“I’ll feed them spices every day until they can stomach it like I can!”

*** 

“Lan Zhan, are you awake?” Wei WuXian calls out in the dark one night at the beginning of winter. It is a cold night, and they are pressed close together to keep warm (though they’d sleep this way in the heat of the summer just the same).

“Mn?”

“What will you name the baby?” He turns towards his husband, eyes bright and curious. “Or will its name be something secret?”

“No.”

“I’m fine with any name you choose as long as you don’t name it after that uncle of yours! I would never sleep with you again if you did.”

“Lies.” He stretches and yawns softly. “We’ll name it Wangxian then.”

“Wangxian??? Hahaha, you cannot—”

“Is there something wrong with the name?”

“It isn’t noble enough for the honorable Lan Sect. It doesn’t mean anything!”

“To them,” He says, closing his eyes once more.

“What if we named the baby Lan?”

“... Lan Lan?”

“Wouldn’t that be a good joke?”

“It should not be a joke.”

“What about Lan Wei? Your uncle would have me removed!”

“In any case, I will not name the child until I have seen them… but I have a few ideas.”

.

“Lan Zhan!” He whispers sharply in the dark not an hour later. Lan WangJi jolts awake, unable to reply before Wei WuXian says, “Give me your hand, quick!”

He does, and Wei WuXian places it atop his stomach, which looks rounder every day and is much more noticeable without his many garnishings. “Do you feel that?”

“Mn.” Even though he cannot see his husband’s face, he can feel him smiling widely against his shoulder. His heart swells. “What do you think?”

“They can’t stay still. Just like you.” He kisses Wei WuXian’s neck softly. There’s a whole human moving within him, confirmation that holy heavens, this is real , this is happening —

“They must like the name Lan Wei, as that’s the last thing I thought about. Lan Zhan?” The back of his robe is damp and Lan WangJi is very quiet. Too quiet…

“Here, let me face you.” He turns around and cups Lan WangJi’s face in his hands. “Why are you so beautiful when you cry? It’s unfair.” He pulls him in for a kiss, but Lan WangJi never moves his hands away from his stomach. “Rest your head there, Lan Zhan.”

Lan WangJi does so at once, still hugging him. He is smiling— sure, his smile is small, but it’s there, and it makes Wei WuXian’s heart bloom. Nothing has ever felt so right. 

"Talk to them." Wei WuXian says. "Let them know who's here."

Lan WangJi nods, moving to rest his head on Wei WuXian's thighs, just by his stomach. "What should I say?"

"Start with hi."

Lan WangJi gently strokes the place that had only just been kicked. "Hello, little one." He kisses Wei WuXian's stomach, making him giggle. "What should I have them call me?"

"I'm stealing Baba, so you'll have to choose something else."

Lan WangJi swallows the lump in his throat. "You will not hear from your diedie much..."

"He's quiet." Wei WuXian explains, as if the baby understands.

"But he loves you."

Wei WuXian whines, stroking his husband's hair. "Don't make me cry, Lan Zhan..."

"With all his heart."

***

In early January, Wei WuXian fell asleep under a tree while waiting for Lan WangJi to finish teaching the day’s lecture. He became too overheated in all the layers he had to wear to hide his condition in the classroom, so he took to a comfortable tree instead, where at least he was protected from the elements and not overheated. 

While he’s there, he overhears two juniors, probably a year or two younger than Lan SiZhui, make some unkind comments about him. One happens to say that he’s become lazy as of late, and that’s why he gained so much weight.

He looked down at his stomach and literally starts bawling. His robes are so tight now, his calves are so swollen he can only wear slippers, and his fingers are too. He’s going to need new robes. New robes . That’s how big he is. And this person is calling him fat and lazy. Normally, he wouldn’t care, but his emotions are so largely out of whack that he’s tired of trying to hold them back anymore. The juniors freeze in their tracks, a look of apparent guilt crossing their expressions. “Ah— is that you, Senior—”

He tosses a handful of snow in their direction. “Go kneel somewhere! Gossiping is against the rules, isn’t it, and you’re breaking them!”

“What is going on here?” There’s Zewu-jun, again, and the poor juniors’ eyes are as wide as saucers. “Why are you not in your classes?”

“Sorry, Zewu-jun!” One says, immediately scurrying off to the nearest building, the other in tow. 

“What was that about?” Lan XiChen asks, moving to stand at his brother-in-law’s side. 

“Nothing. I’m going home.”

“Do you want help? I was heading that direction—”

“No, I don’t want help! I want to do things on my own for once!” Wei WuXian starts walking uphill to the path, and aptly slips, thankfully to be caught by Lan XiChen. “Careful, Young Master Wei..”

He sighs. “Thank you, Zewu-jun.”

“Are you sure you don’t want company?” 

After a moment’s hesitation, he takes Lan XiChen’s hand, allowing himself to be helped up onto the path. They walk in silence undisturbed, as most people wouldn’t want to bother their sect leader without reason to. 

“Say, Zewu-jun. Did you ever talk to your elders on my behalf?”

He nods. “I did, but it was not successful as Uncle says you did not wish to accept.”

“I wasn’t exactly willing to listen at the moment.” Wei WuXian admits a bit sheepishly. “What was the plan?”

“To clarify the rule, “Do not go near Wei WuXian” and make it say “Do not go near Wei Wuxian when you are scheduled to be in class”.”

He nearly laughs. “What about the “speaking to Wei WuXian is forbidden?” 

“Working on that one.”

“It’s just not good enough, Zewu-jun.” They’re nearing the jingshi now. “JingYi said rules can’t be removed, but I think they could, especially if you tear the wall down and put up a new one. I think that uncle of yours could try a lot harder, so no, I won’t accept it.”

“I knew you wouldn’t. But Young Master Wei…” He’s stopped walking, and his eyes are determined. “If keeping you and my future niece or nephew here means tearing down the wall of rules, I will do it. I just hope it doesn’t come to that. All I ask is three months after the baby’s birth to have everything sorted out.”

“So six months from now. I suppose I could live with that.” And it’s not like his baby will be fluently reading, or even outside the house, probably, by that point. He gives his brother-in-law a smile. “Last thing, Zewu-jun. Why did you deny meeting me on that path a few weeks ago? Lan Zhan thinks I’m crazy.” And speaking of the man, Lan WangJi is coming up the path to their house now, looking a bit puzzled to find him here. 

“Someday I’ll fill you in on the details, Wei WuXian,” he says, “but being a sect leader is restrictive. Sometimes, I like to leave without announcing it, to move freely. Do you understand?”

***

The next doctor’s appointment is lengthy. Lan Lia brings up the concept of “contractions” which he had read about briefly as “light pains a woman felt prior to her child’s birth”. 

“These are going to be extremely painful, and they will be starting within the next month. They do not necessarily mean you are going into labor.” 

Pale as a sheet, he turns to Lan WangJi, who asks, “How will we know when it’s time?”

“These pains will be very frequent. Many women often feel a gush of fluid, but not everyone. In general, these early contractions will be far apart and not as intense as the ones that you’ll experience in March, but keep track of them.”

Apparently, there are a lot of things to keep track of, and Wei WuXian is worried. It’s to the point he really can’t hide it anymore, not unless half of him is literally behind Lan WangJi. It’s embarrassing, but it’s probably going to be even more embarrassing to tell everyone now. 

Wei WuXian seems to lose strength in the seventh month. His skin pales and he says very little throughout the day. He is able to eat but does little of it. Still, he insists that he’s fine and doesn’t want to rest, rather he wants to be up and about. It is clear to see he is already growing uncomfortable with his size, both physically and emotionally, and because most of the Sect doesn’t know, he covers up the best he can to disguise it anytime he leaves the cottage.

But Lan WangJi knows he is torn about this. He knows Wei WuXian wants to celebrate this new life and show it off to everyone he meets. But he also understands there is danger in that, should their lovely news fall into the wrong hands. And Wei WuXian is tired of disapproval and shock. He wants people to be happy for him, for both of them, but hardly anyone is.

He’s become lonely. Spending most of his days in near seclusion and being unable to do anything fun in fear of harming the baby, there’s hardly anything to do or anyone to talk to. Lan XiChen promised to talk to the elders but they haven’t spoken since and the “Wei WuXian Rules” still gleam on the side of the mountain. Sect leader or not, Lan XiChen can’t change the opinions of the elders who Wei WuXian himself ruined his reputation for.

This isn’t the way Lan WangJi would ever want Wei WuXian to feel. He knows it’s hard enough to live in a sect that’s so strict, but now having to be even more strict with himself… it’s not easy.

He thinks of Wei WuXian crying because he was crying that very morning, in part due to the delivery of bigger, wider robes. “Look at me, Lan Zhan! I’m crying! Why am I crying?!” And then, he cried harder, covering his face. “I’m so ridiculous, my body’s turned against me— I hate it! I don’t feel like myself at all anymore!”

“You are distracted today, WangJi.” Lan XiChen comments, snapping Lan WangJi out of his inner monologue. He’d almost forgotten that the two of them were meditating beside each other, spending the limited time they had together as usual. “What’s troubling you?”

Frowning, Lan WangJi straightens his posture and closes his eyes again. “He is not feeling well today. That is all. He will be alright.” 

Lan XiChen places a finger to his lips. “Hmm... why don’t you take him away for a while? Someplace he’d like. That should lift his spirits.”

“I wouldn’t want to leave for so long.” 

“Nonsense, WangJi. Your marital obligations, for now, fall above any other responsibility. Go. You haven’t left the Cloud Recesses since June, and even without a child on the way, that would make him anxious enough.”

The topic never strays far from Wei WuXian and the upcoming baby. Even Lan XiChen seems excited about the baby and speaks often of his plans for the future education of the child. “WangJi, you are nervous about becoming a father?” His brother asks after a while, “You speak less and less of it with each passing week. Has your mind changed?”

Lan WangJi gives him a wary look. “I do want this child.”

“But you’ve become nervous?”

Looking down, he admits, “I am not sure how to be a father. A good one.”

“Some things you cannot know how to do in advance. There is nothing I can tell you now that you don’t already know.”

Lan WangJi nods, looking away for a moment. “That’s what I was afraid you would say.”

“But I will say this, WangJi. You will not be a copy of our father. And when the time comes for that child to come into this world, you will soon understand how to be a ‘good one’, as you say. I believe it is mostly instinct.”

Lan WangJi nods. “Thank you, Brother.”

“It is nothing. Just some advice from someone who is very excited to become an uncle.”

Lan WangJi cheers up some after that (an outsider wouldn’t know any different) and is able to talk about other things. Lan XiChen knows he needs to take his mind off of the impending birth every now and then, no matter how much he wants this child.

.

He finds Wei WuXian still in bed in the jingshi, just starting to wake up from an afternoon nap. Wordlessly, Lan WangJi sets their dinner on the table, already knowing Wei WuXian is starving. He is slow to sit, only in one of his new white underobes. Wordlessly, he moves to the table, scooting on his knees to avoid having to crouch. “How is Zewu-jun?” He asks, polite as usual.

“Wei Ying, let’s go somewhere.”

Wei WuXian looks up, surprise evident in his lifted brows. “Hm?”

“Let’s go somewhere. Anywhere you want.”

He simply blinks.

“I want to spoil you. I want you to be happy.” 

“I-” I am happy , he wants to say, but those words do not come. “Alright, then take me. I don’t care...”

“We could go to Yunmeng,” Lan WangJi offers, hoping the name alone will pique his interest. “Maybe visit Lotus Pier.”

Wei WuXian is now inspecting himself in the mirror, framing his stomach. “Jiang Cheng said he’d be too busy to come here, so he probably wouldn’t be able to host us.”

Lan WangJi knows the face his husband is making well. He’s still having a bad day. “Wei Ying…”

“I think I might just stay. Yeah. I’m too disgusting to be seen. It’s better if I stay here.”

“Wei Ying, do not say that about yourself.” 

“Well it’s true, isn’t it? I’m a freak!” He unties his robes, showing his round stomach.

“You are not !”

“Look what’s happening to me!” Just then, Wei WuXian tears off his robes completely, leaving himself in trousers alone. He holds up his discarded inner robe, revealing that it was soaked through at the chest. “Soon enough, what will separate me from any woman? They’ll- they’ll make fun of me even more than they do now, and I just have to take it, right? Well, I’m tired of it! I’m tired of being called lazy or laughed at because I’ve gained weight! And- and now this?”

“Who said this to you?” Lan WangJi rises to his feet. “They will be punished. For gossiping, for bullying, for—”

Wei WuXian turns away, shame burning in his cheeks. “Just leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m not hungry. I just want to go to bed.”

“You are hungry.”

Wei WuXian sniffles. “I disgust myself too much to eat. My chest is swollen and leaking, Lan Zhan, that’s so terrible .”

“The books said why that happens. Wei Ying, you must know why.”

“Of course I know why ! But- but it’s still months away! And I don’t want —!”

“Your body is doing what it believes is needed.” 

Wei WuXian looks down at himself in horror. “I know that, but why— why now ? For once I wish everything would just slow down… for a while everything seemed to be dragging on, but now it’s happening so fast that I don’t know what to do. I’m not ready for this, Lan Zhan. Are you?” 

To lie, to say he is, to say that he knows everything will be alright will surely make the situation worse. Honesty is best here. Perhaps Wei WuXian will feel better to know that he’s not alone in how he feels. Or, perhaps he’ll feel worse knowing that neither of them are confident in the situation. Either way, he has to speak. He has to do something. 

“Let’s leave tonight.” Lan WangJi says. “I too feel overwhelmed. We can stay in Caiyi Town for the night.”

Wei WuXian narrows his eyes. “You’re overwhelmed? You’re the calmest person I’ve ever known.”

“I may appear calm, but I am not ready for this either. I want to be, and I am excited for this. But I am not ready.” Taking Wei WuXian's trembling hands in his, he repeats. "I am not ready, but I will do whatever I can to make this easier for you from this point on." 

.

“So, where are you taking me that requires a cart, Lan Zhan? Usually you walk and I torment the donkey.” Wei WuXian tosses his pack into the cart and accepts Lan WangJi’s hand when climbing into the seat. They left the Sect early in the morning and it was difficult to keep quiet so as to not wake anyone. It might have been the only morning Wei WuXian woke up at such an early hour.

“Lil’ Apple did not want to carry anything.”

“So what? Make it.” Wei WuXian glances up at him expectantly. 

Looking away, Lan WangJi admits, “I had to promise not to put you on any animal in case you are thrown.”

“I’m not sure I believe you.” He giggled. “Never mind, then. I almost like this arrangement better. I get to hold onto you while you drive us.”

“Mn.”

“But where are we going? I’m not picky, as long as it isn’t as boring as the Cloud Recesses.”

“We aren’t going to one place alone. We will stop tonight.”

“Where? Shall we sleep under the stars?”

Lan WangJi does not reply. 

“Is it a surprise?”

“...”

“Oh, how you spoil me! This is exciting!”

But it wasn’t as exciting after a few hours on a boring, flat road and not a single hint. Eventually, Wei WuXian moved to rest his head on Lan WangJi’s lap and fell asleep. Every now and then, Lan WangJi stole a glance at him, his round stomach…

I cannot believe I’m going to become a father soon …

That wasn’t entirely true. He could believe it, it was biologically possible for him to father children, after all, and they had been unintentionally trying vigorously for this to happen for months.

The part that is unbelievable is something that sends him into a fluster in the dead of night whenever he thinks of it. It’s that he is actually married to the love of his life, Wei WuXian, and even more unbelievably, Wei WuXian loves him in return . He never, not in a million years, could have imagined being loved in return by the man who owned his whole heart. And yet, here he is. Carrying his child.

As usual, his throat constricts, so he quickly looks away and steadies his breathing. Wei Ying will never let me live it down if he sees me crying.

Speak of the devil, he stirs. “Lan Zhan…?”

“Yes?”

“Are we there yet? I’m hungry.”

“No, but let’s stop to eat by this stream.”

A few minutes later, Wei WuXian had his feet dipped into the icy stream, head in his husband’s lap. He says the cold water eases the swelling in his ankles.

 Lan WangJi had a hand on his  stomach, feeling the baby kick around excitedly. 

“They get the most excited with your sect’s plain food, that’s what I was stuck eating during my sickness. Now, they don’t care at all for what I like. It must be your child.” Wei WuXian says. 

“I have no doubt of my paternity.” Lan WangJi gently strokes the area he last felt a kick. 

“Yeah, I don’t think you could.” He smiles up at his husband. “I can just feel their energy, it’s yours, you know? Mine too, obviously, but more of yours.”

“I can feel it, too. They are strong.”

“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”

“I do not know.”

“Do you love them?”

“Very much.” Lan WangJi stoops to kiss his forehead.

“How soon after the birth do you think I can go back to work?”

Lan WangJi looks surprised. “Do you plan on doing so?”

“Maybe. I can put them in a sling on my back. And why should I stop working if you don’t? It wouldn’t be fair.”

“In any case, we cannot both work, someone must care for the child.”

“I could do both, I bet. And next year, when surely you’ll impregnate me again, you can carry this baby on your back and I’ll carry the other, and— why are you shaking your head?”

“I don’t want my children in any harm.”

“You’re no fun.” Sighing, Wei WuXian bites into another apple and says, “God, I’m getting so fat. Look at me!”

“Still pretty.”

“Mn… I don’t see it anymore.”

.

That night, they stop at a small inn. Wei WuXian claims his ankles are too swollen to walk comfortably, so he is carried inside with no struggle on Lan WangJi’s part. He is placed on the bed and given a gentle kiss. Lan WangJi removes his boots for him and starts to rub his feet. 

“Can I tell you something, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn. Anything.”

“I’m a bit afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Once the baby is born, we will be more confined to the Sect.”

“We can travel as often as we want..”

“Yeah, but when they’re a bit older, and their education begins… you know, people in your Sect hate me, and now—”

Lan WangJi looks up at him sadly. “Do you want to live someplace else?”

“No, I… I love our home. It’s beautiful, really, I just… I know I’m such a burden on everyone. I make them so annoyed… just by being myself! Can I help it if I wasn’t raised here? And some of the rules are ridiculous.”

“I know.”

“And I forget to follow them, and sometimes I just don’t want to.”

“Everyone breaks the rules, accidental or not. It happens.”

“I don’t want our child to be raised so strictly. I want them to have fun and enjoy their childhood and learn, too. But I don’t think that follows your rules.”

“They will not have to grow up in the same way that I did.”

Wei WuXian squeezes his arm. “Not that your life was a bad one. I just feel like if this child is anything like me…”

“They will break rules. And we will be patient and help them learn.”

“They will never be subjected to the same rules at home, Lan Zhan, I couldn’t do it. I agree children need strictness to some extent but not… not that much.”

“I agree with you.”

“Even though that might mean you are breaking the rules?”

Lan WangJi looks at him for a long moment, but cannot think of anything to say. 

.

“Your birthday is tomorrow, Lan Zhan.” Wei WuXian traces a pattern across the Wen branding on Lan WangJi’s chest early the following morning. A fire keeps them warm, but Lan WangJi keeps him warmer. “I should have thought ahead. How selfish of me to make us travel to where I want to go on your birthday.”

“I am happiest when you are.”

Wei WuXian hugs him tighter, leaving a kiss at his collar. “Next time you have a birthday, we’ll have a baby with us. Our lives are about to change forever. Aren’t you scared?”

“No.”

He smiles. “Neither am I. I like adventures.” Settling in, he pulls the blanket to cover them both and sighs, “We’ll have to decide on where we’re going to put their room, though. What do you think?”

“With us.”

“You’ll hold that baby more than you hold me.”

“I can hold you both.”

“Not if I hold them first! You can’t hog all the time, you know.”

He kisses Wei WuXian’s forehead, “It’s my turn.”

Chapter Text

While these months have been filled with a lot of worry and anticipation, there haven’t been many tears other than ones of joy. In general, Wei WuXian is a high-spirited person and doesn’t often stay in a bad mood for very long. That isn’t to say he doesn’t have a lot to complain about; he lives in a sect with rules against him, he can’t touch his toes, he has to get up to pee every few minutes--- the point is, he doesn’t let it keep him down. This all starts to dissipate in the eighth month as his wits and patience finally wear thin. 

First of all, it is very difficult to get up from a lying position with such a size. Because of this, Lan WangJi must always be around when he is ready to get up for the day, which fortunately happens a lot earlier than it once did. And after they returned from their babymoon he came down with quite a bad cold that left him with much more shortness of breath than before, so he can’t go very far unsupported. If he wants to leave the courtyard, Lan WangJi or Lan SiZhui must accompany him. This isn’t usually a problem, as someone is always around to take care of him. But one day… he woke up to find himself alone. 

Completely. He had no indication as to what time it was, but Lan WangJi always, always tried to wake him in the mornings, and he had no such recollection.

He wasn’t entirely sure as to why that upset him as much as it did, but it did nonetheless, and his mind started to get the better of him. He reminded himself of how much of a burden he’d been on Lan WangJi these past few weeks, especially because of his sickness. So of course he’d want time away, he needs a break. Even if he’d woken Wei WuXian that morning, it would be a burden on him. That’s just one more job to do, another obligation, another chore.

He started to tear up. Damn these unwanted emotional reactions! Yesterday he was nearly in tears over the sight of Lan WangJi asleep with a hand on Wei WuXian’s stomach, then at dinner when Lan SiZhui talked about being the top of his class this year… he hated crying like this!

But what could he do about it? No one is around to judge him for crying and his problem isn’t going away. He would stay a burden for at least another few weeks-- and then some more, as it was doubtful he’d be out of bed much for up to a month after their baby’s birth.

Wiping the corners of his eyes, he thought of how exhausted his dear Lan Zhan must be. Not only did he have his tiring devotion to his sect, and duties that started before the sun, but also his even more difficult job: the full time care of Wei WuXian.

When Wei WuXian brought up having a child, no wonder Lan WangJi had his reservations. He knew what having a child entailed for him, Wei WuXian did not. And he was right.

The longer he stays in bed, the longer his mind starts to wander. What if he doesn’t come back? 

What if he’s staying away on purpose?

He knows those thoughts are ridiculous, but really, where else could Lan WangJi have gone?

After what must have been two hours, there is a knock at the front door. Nobody who lived there would knock. Since he couldn’t get out of bed, he called out to the visitor from the open window: “Come in, whoever you are!”

And after a moment, the front door opens. “Young Master Wei?”

Now what could Zewu-jun want with me? He wonders. Surely, he’s looking for Lan Zhan. Oh no, has something happened to Lan Zhan? Why would he abandon me and his duties at the same time?

“If you’re looking for Lan Zhan, he’s not here.” Wei WuXian calls. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“All day? Have you been able to get up, then?”

“Not at all.”

“I’m going to come in.”

“Be my guest!”

Wei WuXian tied his hair back behind him- not as high as usual, but just to keep it out of his face, and gives his brother-in-law an awkward wave. “See? He’s not here.”

“That is not why I… have you really been like this all day?”

This is undoubtedly the first time Zewu-jun has seen such a mess , Wei WuXian colors at the thought, “I usually sleep in. And on the rare occasion Lan Zhan’s not here, SiZhui helps me. I guess he’s disappeared, too?’

“No, Uncle has kept him busy today. May I help you, then?”

“You? No, no, it wouldn’t be right. Send a servant or something, a sect leader shouldn’t have to do such a chore.”

“But the servants do not know of your condition, do they?” Lan XiChen picks up a sock from the floor and tosses it into a basket. “I’m disappointed. WangJi has always been so tidy…” He adds quietly, so that Wei WuXian hardly hears.

“I think everyone’s starting to figure it out. I’ve been a recluse lately, you know.” With a stubborn blush on his cheeks, he accepts Lan XiChen’s hand in helping him sit up. He swings his legs over the side of the bed and stretches for a long moment. “Say, Zewu-jun, why did you deny meeting me in the forest back then? I know it happened, and so do you. Were you ashamed of it? I’d understand if you were. It would be breaking your own rules, after all.”

“No, it was nothing of the sort. I did not want my brother to worry… but admittedly, I lied to you both. I did not follow you from the sect. I was already in the forest. I often walk, slipping away unnoticed—which has become increasingly difficult. And when I am noticed, often someone tries to follow. So I do not tell anyone when I go, so I can be alone there. That is all.”

“In that case, I’m sorry for disturbing you back then. I can’t imagine you getting a moment of peace around here, even in seclusion.”

“It is uncommon, yes. —You haven’t eaten today, let me send for something--”

“No, don’t trouble yourself on my behalf. Now that I’m up, I’ll wander to the kitchen and grab something on my own. Maybe I’ll find Lan Zhan for you.”

“I searched and asked around, but no one has seen him. I suppose he must have gone out for the day.”

“Without telling me…? It’s strange. Here, pass me my boots, please, and I’ll be fine from there.”

Lan XiChen smiles thinly, eyes narrowing as he informs him, “WangJi told me that you cannot put them on by yourself.”

“I’d never ask you to tie my boots for me! Never in a million years!”

“Then how will you go? There is snow on the ground.”

“I’ll… well… I guess I’ll have to stay here! Listen, Zewu-jun, I appreciate the offer, but you have to remember who I am! I’m… eons below you. Son of a servant! And you’re- you’re you , you know! Only a servant or spouse can really tie one’s boots without there being something wrong with it. You’re- you’re leader of the whole sect! I should be the one tying yours!”

“But at the same time, you are my brother through marriage. It is really nothing, Young Master Wei. I do not mind.”

“Fine! Fine. But I will try to put them on by myself first. See if I can… I hope that I can.”

Unsurprisingly, he can’t. So Lan XiChen kneels and slips on each boot for him, never complaining or making a big deal out of it. He ties them incredibly quickly; in fifteen seconds, they’re both done. “I’ll accompany you while I continue my search. Please eat something, Young Master Wei. You must upkeep your strength.”

“Fine, fine, I will. Everyone keeps pestering me about how thin I am! I’m not that thin, and I have a giant stomach. I eat three times a day, sometimes more.”

“But you are not eating for one person, you know.”

“I’m just not that hungry anymore. There’s really nothing I can do about it. I can’t force myself to eat more if I don’t want any, and maybe it’s because my taste buds still don’t really want the Gusu Lan Sect’s food, even if this baby does.”

“Maybe so.”

And so the two walk into the sect; Wei WuXian towards the kitchen and Lan XiChen keeping his distance for a while. “Have you thought about names, Young Master Wei?”

“Endlessly. I have already decided on the name if it is a girl, but I know it won’t be, and that’s what makes it so difficult.”

They part ways at the kitchen, and Wei WuXian waddles inside in search of something to eat. He starts with an apple and then moves over to start cooking something in a pan— will it be edible? Anything’s edible when he’s this hungry. 

It goes well for about two minutes until he starts pouring rice. He drops the entire bag, but luckily only a little bit spills out. Why hasn’t Lan Zhan come back yet? He wonders once more as he struggles to bend. As expected, he cannot reach the bag no matter how hard he tries. Gripping onto the counter, he gradually lowers his entire body. Sure, he may not be able to get back up, but this bag can’t stay on the floor. I miss his cooking already and it’s only been a day. He always knows just what I want to eat. Finally, he’s crouched on the floor, huffing and puffing at the exertion. He carefully lifts the bag over his head and onto the counter. It is then that he smells something burning, and he struggles to stand. In doing so, he knocks over the bag of rice again, and this time, it spills everywhere— on him, the floor, across the room, the counter— and all he can do is cry. And crying like this isn’t him but he’s had a difficult day, a difficult few months… 

The air smells like smoke now and knowing he can’t fix whatever’s burnt, the tears turn into quiet sobs. For some reason, his longing for his husband outweighs any of the frustrations and mistakes. He just really misses his Lan Zhan, even though they were together just hours ago.

Someone clearly smelled the smoke and soon water is poured over the pan. Then, Lan SiZhui is knelt beside him. “Are you alright, Senior Wei?”

“Where have you been??” He wails. “You were supposed to help me today, SiZhui! Now look at me! Why can’t I do anything for myself?!”

“I’m really sorry, but I couldn’t slip away even for a second! Let me help you back to the house, and then—”

“No, I don’t want to go back! I’ve been inside for days!”

“Are you sure? I can have someone cook—”

“I just want Lan Zhan! That’s all! I don’t care about anything else.”

There are footsteps approaching the kitchen, but neither pay them any mind. All Wei WuXian knows is moments later he is enveloped in a familiar hold and suddenly he knows everything will be alright. He clings tightly onto Lan WangJi and only cries harder. Has he reason to cry? Does that matter anymore? Lan WangJi holds him tighter and strokes his back soothingly. He presses kisses on his forehead and cheeks. 

“Where were you all day? I was worried!”

“I should not have left for so long. Forgive me…”

“Yes, of course. But- but where—”

He is peppered with kisses— his cheeks again, his nose, his lips— “It was a surprise.”

Wei WuXian opens an eye. “Yeah? Are you gonna show me today?”

“Yes…”

“Good. But listen Lan Zhan, I don’t want to go home just yet. I think… I think it’s time to tell everybody. Otherwise I won’t see the light of day for several more months and I can’t stand it anymore.”

“Do you want me to—“

“Let’s just gather the juniors first, we can tell them together. You deal with your elders.”

“Let me cook for you first, then.”

.

On a full stomach, the two announce the news to the juniors, many of whom suspected something was aloof all along. For the first time, they are met with nothing but fascination and delight, which does Wei WuXian’s heart good. They all promise to help with the baby in whatever way they can and to take care of Wei WuXian, too. 

“So that’s why SiZhui has been acting so weird!” Lan JingYi exclaims. “I just knew he was hiding something.”

“I wasn’t allowed to tell! And I was not being weird, JingYi.”

“Yes you were!”

One glance from their Hanguang-jun silences them both, and Wei WuXian continues, “Anyway, sorry we didn’t tell you all sooner. I was reluctant, especially because of a certain person’s reaction…” They all know who he is referring to, even without naming him. “So I just had an idea. Look, Lan QiRen hates me so much he can’t even look at me. He forbids anyone to talk to me. So what if I forbid him from seeing my kid? I’ll let everyone else, of course, everyone in the whole sect, the whole world, even. Just not him.”

“That’s… that’s… mean!”

“It’s brilliant.” Lan SiZhui corrects his friend. “It’s not like he can force you to show him the baby, right Senior Wei?”

“Right. It’ll be the first time I can hold something over him. I have to do it. What do you say, Hanguang-jun?”

He merely shrugs.

“You agree with me, don’t you? Say yes.”

“If you say so.”

.

“Can I open my eyes yet? We’ve been walking forever!” After the announcement, it was finally time for Wei WuXian to receive his surprise. But if they have to walk much farther, Wei WuXian is going to give up on it completely and go back to bed, his ankles hurt too much for this.

“If you peek, I will not show you.”

Wei WuXian smiles. “How did you know I was peeking?"

“You only ask after you have peeked, so you won’t feel guilty.”

“Hahaha, you know me so well!”

“...You can look now.”

Wei WuXian moves his hands and laughs in delight. “You didn’t, you didn’t! Haha, I should’ve known you were up to something!” Lil’ Apple had been pulling a cart which is currently filled with clothes, furniture and other things for the baby. Lan WangJi picked everything and bought it all on his own! "Shame on you for not telling me, Lan Zhan!" He playfully nudges him before hugging him tightly. "You knew I would choose the most ridiculous things, that's why you went alone? You're so smart."

Lan SiZhui and Lan JingYi help carry the furniture and other things into the cottage while Wei WuXian watches, eager to unpack everything. There is a third bedroom in the cottage, but it’s still in disarray and currently is used as more of a storage than anything else, so the cradle goes into their bedroom for now (which is only slightly messy, to Lan WangJi’s dismay).

A large oak chest is put in next, for holding all the baby’s clothes and things. 

Wei WuXian sits on the bed with the first crate of clothing, grinning. “Oh, they’re gonna look so cute in this! You have such good taste, Lan Zhan.” He holds the outfit up to his chest; its light colors a stark contrast to his. “They’re gonna be so tiny …”

Lan WangJi smiles, a bit wider than the juniors had previously seen before. It’s undoubtedly certain that their Hanguang-jun is the happiest he’s ever been.

.

It doesn’t take long for the good news to spread around the sect, and soon Wei WuXian has many visitors. Some are genuinely interested in the soon-to-be-born heir, others just want to have the rumors confirmed. Wei WuXian doesn’t let as many people around when Lan WangJi isn’t there, mostly because he doesn’t want to lose his temper and not have someone to check him.

Some days, he accompanies Lan WangJi to the classes he teaches and sits among the Juniors like a dutiful student, but there is nothing Lan WangJi teaches that he doesn’t already know (though he plays dumb so the Juniors won’t try to cheat off him). It keeps him occupied, and it’s a lot better than laying around the house all day. 

***

It’s mid March and snowing ferociously outside, five days past his due date yet the doctor concludes he is nowhere near delivering. “You aren’t dilated, they haven’t dropped.”

Wei WuXian pouts, “Well, can’t you speed up the process?”

“They seem quite content where they’re at, Young Master Wei.” She concludes, “We’ll give you another week. Then… if it really isn’t born by then, we’ll have some concerns.”

“What kind of concerns?” Lan WangJi asks. His stomach churns. They’ve been at this for nine months, he won’t lose his soon-to-be-child now, and he especially won’t lose Wei WuXian. 

In her mind’s eye, she sees her early years as a trainee physician in some of the busiest parts of Gusu. Of watching mothers, some overdue, some not, give birth to stillborns. Of dying during childbirth. Of the babies getting stuck, of invasive surgeries having to be performed. Most of the time, the mother didn’t survive that, either. She remembers asking her senior sister why these otherwise healthy babies were being born dead at full-term, to which she got the reply, “There’s a lot of things I don’t know.”

So now she looks back at these expecting parents, esteemed cultivators who, up until now, were blissfully unaware of the potential risks ahead. And maybe she’s just overreacting, and the baby will be born healthy tomorrow. Maybe it’s wrong to worry them. 

“Let’s wait and see what happens over the next few days. You may have simply miscalculated your conception date.” 

Wei WuXian shrugs, a shameless smile on his face. But it seems that Lan WangJi sees right through her. “What kind of concerns do you have?” It’s clear he won’t let it drop, and they’re both going to pester her over the coming days if she doesn’t say it. Fine. They can handle it.

“The longer your child stays in the womb, the less nutrients they’ll have. The more chances of fluid in its lungs, of compressed oxygen. Of getting stuck. Of dying, alright, both of you! I don’t think it will happen. They could be born tomorrow for all I know, and your concerns will be for nothing.”

Wei WuXian looks like he’s been stabbed. “Then- then you have to do something! Or, what should I do? I can’t just sit here knowing—”

“If you do not give birth by the twenty-first, I’ll figure something out. Try not to worry too much in the meantime. You’re strong, and so are they. For now, that’s all I’m concerned about.”

But of course, Wei WuXian is now very concerned. He starts researching how to naturally induce labor, even though he’s scared of it himself. Every slight movement he feels within him is relief, though temporary. Acupuncture is recommended, so he spends the next day getting pricked all over. It does nothing. He drinks foul smelling liquids doused in oils. He forces himself to walk more, as much as it hurts him.

It’s three days short of the 42 week mark and still, nothing has happened. He can’t sleep, can’t eat. He’s in so much pain. 

He actually visits the ancestral hall that night without telling anyone and begs for the Lan ancestors to help him, he’ll do anything in return. If anything, he prays, begs, take me instead. Heaven knows I deserve it.

He feels a sudden gust of wind and hopes it’s a good sign. 

The next morning, he looks smaller. He thinks he must be seeing things, or has perhaps been transported a few weeks back in time. But when the doctor comes to see him, she says it is a very good sign. She says the baby has dropped. “Maybe he just needed some extra time,” she adds. “Come find me if you need me, Senior Wei, I won’t be far.”

If he had done nothing over the past few weeks, he’d agree. But with the amount of acupuncture, exercise, weird oils, and sex, and finally being desperate enough to beg for the child’s ancestor’s assistance, he has a feeling one of those factors was ultimately the solution. 

The baby dropping doesn’t mean it’s coming out today, of course, and as the first day of spring just two days away, he can only hope things continue to progress quickly. 

The next day, he starts feeling a heavy pressure in his pelvis and his doctor tells him he’s starting to dilate. 

***

“Lan Zhan.”

“Yes, Wei Ying.”

“I’m still sore.”

“It is very late, and I massaged you just a short while ago.”

“This is your fault and your child! How can I sleep when I’m so sore?”

Stifling a sigh, Lan Zhan rolls into a sitting position and pulls Wei WuXian into his lap, both sitting. He begins to massage down his back, with Wei WuXian’s head tilted. He is clearly exhausted, and yet Lan WangJi is sure he hasn’t slept in at least a day and a half.

“I have no problem with carrying this child,” he says slowly, “but I think I’m ready for it to come out now.”

“Me too.”

“Do you hope for a boy or a girl?”

“I shall be happy with either.”

“Me too, but come on, Lan Zhan, what do you think it is?”

He pauses. “All the children say it is a girl, but I…”

“You don’t agree?”

“...”

“Come on, I’m tired and sore and I want to hear something that will cheer me up!”

“I think it is a boy, as you have said.”

“Wouldn’t that be just the cutest? Lan Zhan and his Young Master Lan! I think even your uncle would be pleased.”

“As do I. Feeling any better?”

“A little. Keep doing that, I think I’ll fall asleep right here…”

Sure enough, Wei WuXian falls asleep against him. Lan WangJi carefully lays him onto his side and leaves the room to wash up a bit before bed. Almost two weeks late, his thoughts remind him as he examines his exhausted face in the water’s reflection. How much longer can it possibly be? Impatience certainly isn’t a virtue, but he’s tired of his husband being in so much pain and discomfort. Tomorrow is the first day of spring, and if their child isn’t born by then, they could be in serious trouble. Back in their bedroom, he climbs into bed, and as much as he doesn’t want to, he gives Wei WuXian a bit of space. One reason being that Wei WuXian cannot lay how he wants to (using Lan WangJi as a pillow doesn’t work  with such a round stomach) and two, if Wei WuXian is comfortable in his current position, it would be cruel to try and move him or disturb him.

Exhaustion kicks in and he is finally able to close his eyes. He manages a whole three hours of blissful sleep before he is woken again. 

“Wei Ying…?”

Wei WuXian hasn’t made a sound, but his whole body is tense and sweat pours down his face. He’s somehow still asleep. Relieved that he hasn’t missed anything important, he quickly reaches to the table at their bedside and dips a cloth in a bowl of water. After squeezing out the excess water, he places it on Wei WuXian’s forehead and closes his eyes once again. This wouldn’t be the first time Wei WuXian has woken him like this.

No more than a few minutes later does Wei WuXian wake him again, but this time, he is awake too. “Lan Zhan…” He almost whimpers, which is enough to get him up with a start. “Wh-why does it hurt so much…?”

“Is it—”

“No, it just… agh, I’m so uncomfortable. There’s so much pressure, and- and..”

“Breathe, Wei Ying,”

“Ugh, every-everything hurts. Like it’s been shattered…”

But from the outside, one could hardly tell anything was wrong. He had a high pain tolerance, but Lan WangJi was entuned to his body. He knows he’s in significant pain, worse than the false contractions or pressure of the past few days. 

He offers his hand, which Wei WuXian shakily accepts as he forces a few short breaths, back arched at the same time he goes to grip his hand harder. 

“It hurts so much, Lan Zhan. Worse than anything.”

When Wei WuXian looks back on this day later, he’ll decide getting his core removed was only slightly worse. But at that moment, it really was almost unbearable.

“Do you want to walk?” Lan WangJi asks after a few seconds, internally facepalming a few moments after. Why should Wei WuXian want to move at this moment? He’s in significant pain.

Wei WuXian buries his face in the pillow, takes a few deep breaths. Whatever’s happened seems to have temporarily passed. “Okay… okay. Yeah, let’s walk.”

Lan WangJi would usually help Wei WuXian put his shoes on, but his ankles are too swollen for his boots and they never go too far anyway. 

Wei WuXian clings onto Lan WangJi’s arm for support. They walk slowly out of the house, and only someone like Lan WangJi could be patient enough for something like this. “It can’t be much longer, huh Lan Zhan?”

“You are doing so well, Wei Ying.” And he is. Most people would’ve had the whole ordeal over with now and a two week old baby in their arms. 

“I’m impatient in so many ways, how am I— ah-” He hisses in pain, clutching his husband’s arm tightly. “Owww… that one hurt.”

Lan WangJi held onto him, hoping the pain would soon subside, and it did — but just a few minutes later, there was another, seizing Wei WuXian in pain. “Let’s go back, Lan Zhan.” He says between gritted teeth. “I can’t go on any further… I can’t do this.”

They hadn't even made it out of the courtyard yet. Usually, they can make it much farther away, to the jinshi at the least, before Wei WuXian needs to go back due to his discomfort.

“I’ll carry you.” Just as Lan WangJi bends to lift Wei WuXian, he is startled by Wei WuXian's sudden exclamation: "Don't touch me! Agh..." He presses a hand against the courtyard's wall, teeth gritted. He suddenly looks down and sucks in a few breaths, his body twisting in pain as he gasps for breath. "Um, Lan Zhan?” His voice is surprisingly calm, which is horrifying. 

"What is it?" He is tempted to place a hand on Wei WuXian, but remembering how he was just warned to keep off, he hesitates.

"I-I need to go back inside, I think..." He rests his head against the wall, his breaths becoming shaky. “Th-the baby’s coming, the baby’s coming…” he isn’t sure why he’s crying. But he is. And he can hardly stand. Is he more excited or terrified? Right now it’s a strong mixture of both.

"Then let me lift you."

"Yeah, please lift me..." He mumbles, and a second later is hefted into Lan WangJi's arms. Lan WangJi can feel that Wei WuXian's trousers are soaked and knows that perhaps tonight will not be like the other nights before...that maybe, finally, this is it. He finds himself walking quicker than earlier once Wei WuXian goes limp in his arms (from fear and a bit of pain, he will later find out) and cannot help but to break the rules and shout for Lan SiZhui.

.

It’s two in the morning. Wei WuXian is fighting through another round of contractions, groaning and gripping Lan WangJi’s hand. With his other hand, he’s propping himself up, face nearly buried in his pillow. Lan WangJi presses a cool rag to his neck. It won’t be cool for long. 

“Am I-hnng… am I having twins?” He groans, and the doctor laughs. 

“Definitely not. If you were having twins, you’d be asking if you were having triplets. Just ask my mother.” 

“Then… then why does it hurt so much? I’ve— I’ve endured stab wounds, I’ve endured getting my core removed— and only that was more painful than this, and just slightly! Is it time yet?”

“I checked five minutes ago, Young Master Wei. You’re hardly a third of the way there.”

“So it should go quickly from here, right?” He asks, collapsing when the contraction ends.

“My first labor lasted more than a day, and it’s hardly been an hour for you.”

“Is there anything we can do to quicken the process?” Lan WangJi asks. “Or lessen the pain?” 

“Patience would do both of you good.” She says. “I’ve got another person in labor tonight. She is much closer to birth than you. I will send one of my apprentices over in an hour. Until then, you should only send for me if there’s a head poking out your birthing region.”

They’re alone again. Lan WangJi moves to fold, and then refold one of the small blankets set atop the bedside table. He moves to the window, shuts it tighter. Pours a bit more water into the bowl holding a wet rag. 

Wei WuXian can hardly stand his fidgeting. This time, he fakes a groan, pretending to be in a contraction.

“Do you want me to help you into the bath? Will that help?"

He nods. Once he’s eased into the hot water, he relaxes some. “Can you… get in with me? Please?” 

“Mn.” 

So Lan WangJi slides behind him in the tub, holding him gently. Wei WuXian's entire body is tensed, skin flushed beyond the heat of the water. Lan WangJi gently pulls his hair into a bun atop of his head and slides a rag around his neck. Wei WuXian eases back against him, starting to ease up a bit.

“Lan Zhan, I think this baby’s gonna be here by sunrise. I know she said it could be more than a day, that I’m a third of the way there? But she doesn’t know everything. I've been hurting since yesterday, but not like this.”

“You know your body best.”

“And- and if it lasts too long, I think that’ll mean our baby really is stuck. So if enduring an excruciating amount of pain today to make sure they’re okay sounds worth it to me.” He looks around their bedroom at the noticeable lack of supplies. “I just realized how not ready we are. I thought we were, but knowing I have to stay here for months, probably, which means the baby will be with me—"

“More supplies will be delivered later this morning, and anything you ask for will be given. Everyone and everything is at your dispense."

“Okay…” he lets out a long sigh, “Will you stay with me?”

“Of course.”

He starts to doze off in the bath, Lan WangJi gently rubbing his arms and shoulders. They have about thirty minutes of peace. 

(Pretty much everyone knows the news by five o’clock, but it was spreading far earlier than that.

At three o'clock, Lan Sizhui shook Lan JingYi awake, scaring the crap out of him, “Write to Zizhen and Jin Ling! The baby’s coming!” )

When Lan Lia comes back at four-thirty, she’s very solemn. “You’ve progressed,” she says. 

“I can tell.” 

She isn’t as relaxed as she’d been earlier. She checks his progress much more often, her brows knitted. Eventually, Wei WuXian picks up on it. “Is… is something wrong?”

“You’re fine.” She replies quickly, as if a reflex. She won’t tell him what’s on her mind: the woman, wife of a non-clan sect member, suffered a hemorrhage during childbirth and wasn’t expected to see dawn. She’s practically dead, her child not far from it, and here’s Wei WuXian standing in front of her, hours away from possibly the same fate. No one ever knows when things will go wrong, and she’s the one who has to answer for him if something goes wrong. The pressure is almost suffocating. 

“Lie down on the bed.” She says. “I will be back in a few minutes.” 

She stands behind the house and fights back tears, struggles to gain composure. She can do this. She just has to learn not to get attached, not place any emotion in her work. She’ll imagine she doesn’t know him, doesn’t care about him. Use today as a training opportunity for her apprentice, let her take charge. 

So things really start progressing. The contractions are intensifying, a few people are here to help. By five, he’s cursing all the Lan ancestors, taking back everything he said. He’s delusional from the pain. It’s nearly sunrise. The sky is starting to lighten. It’s getting worse, but he holds back the screams of absolute agony because there’s people around. The few maidens here helping are sworn to secrecy, but it’s still embarrassing. The doctor watches everything. 

Eventually, she asks everyone to take a brief break, five minutes. She knows it's time and wants everyone to get ready without telling Wei WuXian, who will probably be scared upon hearing that. "Hanguang-jun, if you could join me in the hall for a moment."

"Mn."

"You're leaving me?" Wei WuXian asks, breaths short, pained. 

He kisses his forehead, "I'll be back in a minute, Wei Ying. I would never leave you. I promise, I will be just in the hall."

Wei WuXian nods weakly, earning another quick kiss on the lips. He lies back on the bed, closes his eyes.

No sooner than he and the doctor are in the hallway, she tells him, "Young Master Wei is fully dilated. He's ready."

This sends a sharp pang to Lan WangJi's heart— maybe panic— as he's about to ask another question, she says, "The best thing you can do for him is whatever he asks. He may want you absent from the room when he gives birth. Please respect that."

"But—"

"I know he feels differently now. But he doesn't want you to see him in pain. So if he asks, please comply. Husbands, fathers, they're not typically in the room."

"I understand." Lan WangJi nods towards the room. "But what can I do for him? After, immediately after."

"Whatever he asks, first. Then, he will need to eat. Have his clothes changed. I'll help you from there. Above all, what's most important is that you're there for him, however he needs you to be."

The doctor needs to gather a few things from the main room, and Lan WangJi returns to the bedroom. Upon fully evaluating the sight before him, he begins, "Wei Ying, I—"

"Don't talk to me right now." He's up on his knees and elbows, head tucked between his arms. He's rocking back and forth, whining quietly. 

He moves to his side, wishing in that moment he could take all the pain away, bear it for him. "What can I do? How can I help?" He timidly presses a hand onto Wei WuXian's back, making him immediately recoil.

Wei WuXian gives him a cold look, replies, "Don't touch me again. I wish you'd never done this to me..."

It pains him to not be able to help, but he knows Wei WuXian is only speaking out of pain at the moment, he doesn't really feel this way— especially since he's the one that asked for this. 

The doctor comes back into the room, takes one look at Wei WuXian and says, "Alright, on your back. It's time." 

"If you touch me, I'll scream." He says darkly. 

She smiles wryly. "He's definitely ready."

"Does he have to lie on his back?" Lan WangJi asks. The other helpers are moving into the room now— just two young women, nothing too major, but Lan WangJi quickly fades into the background. He wants to hold his hand, help him through the pain, but Wei WuXian doesn't want to be touched. 

Once again, Lan Lia asks if he'll be willing to turn onto his back so that she can examine him better. 

His breathing quickens, he shakes his head quickly. “I don’t want to lay down, I don’t want—“

"I won't make you lie down for long. It's just for a minute."

He slowly turns, with Lan WangJi's assistance. She checks him, which takes no more than thirty seconds. "Young Master Wei, you're about to meet your child. You've got a few more minutes of pain and it'll all be over."

Changing positions must've cleared his mind, for he nods, tears threatening to spill over. "Can... can I have something to help with the pain?"

Lan WangJi feels like his heart is about to shatter from that statement. Wei WuXian can take more pain than anyone he's ever met. To hear this, to know that he's in agony right now with nothing anyone can do to help him, really hurts. 

"After, yes. You can have as much as you like." 

"Okay. Okay..." He looks to his husband. "I'm... really nervous."

"It's okay to be nervous. I am nervous."

That's not the kind of nervous he means. Wei WuXian smiles weakly, strokes his cheek. "Lan Zhan, I–" He hates what he's about to say. For months, they've planned on being together at the birth. But now, Wei WuXian is afraid. Afraid of Lan WangJi seeing him in this kind of pain, seeing him in this position, a way he's never seen him before, giving birth. It's this feeling again, creeping into his mind alongside shame. How ridiculous he must look right now... how very much like a woman. If he stops his husband from witnessing this, at least he'll keep this image from Lan WangJi's head. It's like trying to protect a part of him that pregnancy has all but stripped away. 

He's starting to get a strong urge to push, quickly cups his husband's cheeks and gives him a shaky kiss. "I'm so sorry."

"What is it?"

He's seized with pain. The pressure is extreme, excruciating. He knows it's time. It is too intense to move. Lan Lia looks up at him expectantly, waiting, watching between his legs. 

Another bout of intense pain that sends his back arching, and he finally blurts what's on his mind, "Lan Zhan, please, please—"
"What is it, Wei Ying? Anything you want, I'll—"

"Agh! Get out, get out, get out!!” He lets out a loud cry, followed by a sucked in breath and the admission of, "I don’t want you to see me like this, okay? Please!” 

So he relents, quickly. It’s normal for the father not to be in the room, just like Lan Lia says. He still wants to be, but Wei WuXian has the right to decide. He kisses his forehead and departs. 

***

Lan SiZhui can keep track of the time based solely on his Hanguang-jun’s pacing, something he has never done before. If not for the current situation, it might almost be amusing. One pace to the opposite end of the hall takes twenty seconds… then he stops in front of the door for at least ten to listen, and then he paces back… Lan SiZhui muses to himself, eyelids drooping from both the early hour and the exhaustion of watching so much pacing. He knows he should mind his own business, but even Lan XiChen has been watching the pacing this whole time, shaking his head at his brother’s actions every two or three paces. 

“Can I say something?” Lan SiZhui suddenly breaks the silence, causing both brothers to pause and look at him. “Why… why can’t Hanguang-jun be with Senior Wei?” 

Lan XiChen smiles at the boy and replies calmly, “The pacing would be even more exhausting to Young Master Wei than it is to us. WangJi,” he calls to his brother, “sit, you will not be able to go on like this.”

Lan WangJi obeys and decides to sit beside his brother. He stays still only for a few seconds before he looks up upon hearing yet another noise from the bedroom. Lan XiChen places a hand on his brother’s arm. “He will be fine. He's in good hands."

For everyone’s sake, Lan SiZhui and Lan XiChen hope that this child comes sooner rather than later. 

"He wanted me with him. I promised I would stay, he was worried about it. Yet it was him who asked me to leave, and I—" He pauses— another agonizing cry— "I wanted to be there with him for this."

.

Wei WuXian does not have a vivid memory of the birth itself. Apparently, that's a thing, and it's why people keep on having babies— they forget the pain. But he remembers the sharp pains alongside the disorientation. He remembers wishing Lan WangJi was with him but also believing it was better this way as he didn't want Lan WangJi to see him being so vulnerably weak and exposed in such a way... he isn't sure why he suddenly felt so ashamed, but it soon passed and didn't matter much.

And then, he remembers the doctor saying, “Put your hand here. Baby’s right here…”

He is shaking so hard, teeth gritted— he's so hot he feels like he's going to suffocate.

It takes three pushes.

The moment it is born, his world changes. His body trembles as he listens to their first cries, and then his ears start to ring. He closes his eyes for a few moments, processing that his child is finally here, that the months of hoping and waiting and wishing are finally over, but mostly trying to process the searing pain he’s in. It’s nauseating. 

"Young Master, are you alright?" Someone puts a hand on his shoulder, jolting him back into reality. He must've blacked out for a few seconds, because when he opens his eyes, his hearing also returns, and he cries out at once, not out of pain, but of shock. There is a tiny baby being held up to him, crying loudly, taking in big breaths between each wail. His lungs are strong, at the very least.

It feels like he has just woken up in a brand new life, one in which there is no one but him and this little boy, his son. He can’t even smile, he is just enamored with this child’s appearance and the realization that this baby is his. “Let me hold him—“ he thinks he says, but he’s unsure if his mouth even moves. There are people moving around the room, someone changes the towel beneath him, another pushes a liquid to his lips, but his attention is only on the baby. 

"I wanna hold him," he mumbles, pushing the cup away. 

"Drink all of it and you can." It's his doctor again.

The liquid is bitter but he downs it in one go, quick to be finished. As promised, his baby is —in his opinion— finally— placed against his chest— bundled up in a snowy white blanket and a hat on his head. He’s not crying anymore, and the two look at each other for a few seconds. His brain is trying to put the pieces together. Maybe his son is doing the same. He’s so tiny.

“Born just at sunrise—“ he hears someone say, and as he glances towards the window, he sees that they’re right, the sun is just starting to shine through the budding tree by the window. He remembers telling his husband just a few hours ago that this baby was going to be born by sunrise, too, not a day from now like his doctor predicted. “Huh… that’s…” he looks down at his son. There's no doubt in his mind that he distinctly has Lan WangJi's nose. He's absolutely cute as a button. He leans down slightly to kiss his nose, enamored by how soft his skin is, and says, "You’re the most beautiful thing in the world, little one...”

To his amazement (and to everyone's around them) the baby’s face lights up and he flashes a toothless smile— one that lasts a few seconds— and he’s only a few minutes old.

Wei WuXian’s heart melts, and it’s all he can handle not to burst into tears. “I think I know your name now.”

He’s so in love. He probably won't ever put him down.

The doctor finishes up whatever she was doing between his legs, which he hadn't even noticed until now. She gives him a gentle smile before turning away to wash her hands. "Are you comfortable?"
"I can't feel my legs or anything so that's really nice. Good medicine." He says, pressing another half dozen kisses onto his tiny son's face. 

"Hanguang-jun is probably eager to visit." She tells him. "Do you want me to let him in?"

.

He was born at seven o’clock in the morning. The moment the three waiting outside heard his first cries, Lan WangJi paled, looking to his brother. Lan XiChen gave him a smile, clasping his hands. The three of them just stand there staring at each other, wide smiles so uncommon to the Lan family.

A few short minutes pass; they're agony for Lan WangJi. But eventually, the doctor opens the door and says, "Care to come in, Hanguang-jun?"

He doesn't need to be told twice. Lan SiZhui laughed in amusement at seeing his Hanguang-jun run down the hallway, when rushing is against the rules.

.

The room is quiet. Wei WuXian is still, breathing softly, much more relaxed than he’d been earlier. There is a small bundle in his arms.

The physician bows when she sees Lan WangJi and offers to leave them alone while she cleans up the mess of bloody towels and fluids and other things best left unsaid. "He did well, but there are stitches. He needs rest."

She says this to him, but he can't hear anything anymore other than the quiet noises the oh so tiny baby makes against Wei WuXian's chest.

As if wading into an oasis in a hot desert, Lan WangJi kneels at the bedside, body trembling. “Wei Ying..." He presses kisses down the side of his face and neck, again and again... 

“I'm fine...it wasn’t as bad as I thought.” Wei WuXian protests, eyes still closed. “But now I just want to sleep for a little bit. Let me sleep? We’re both going to sleep. You can visit later…”

But Lan WangJi only comes closer and kisses him gently. “Wei Ying, I..”

“I love you too. Come here if you want, but don't take him from me or I'll cry."

Shaking his head softly, Lan WangJi climbs onto the bed as carefully as he can and Wei WuXian rests his head against his shoulder. “I picked his name and it’s not Wei, unfortunately.”

Lan WangJi smiles, a quiet laugh escaping his lips. “No, I didn’t think so…”

.

An hour or so later, Wei WuXian is propped up and eating more than he has in weeks while Lan WangJi holds their child for the first time. Wei WuXian chats to him now and then, but he isn’t heard over the roaring in his ears.

He and his child are in a world of their own as his own amber eyes look back at him. He feels himself choking on tears but pays them no regard, he cannot look away from the tiny face in front of him. He is so perfect.

“Lan Zhan, did you hear what I said? Lan Zhan?”

He presses the baby close to his shoulder and holds them there. He’s never been happier in his life, or luckier. 

This is all he'll ever need, he decides. Just him, Wei Ying, the baby, and...

Glancing up from the heartfelt moment a few minutes later, Wei WuXian sees Lan SiZhui lingering by the door. “Come in, SiZhui. Meet your brother.”

“Brother?” He steps inside, smiling brightly at the infant. “He’s… I’m sorry, I won't say it.”

“I know, he looks like a scrunched up radish. But I love him and I think he’s possibly the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. Do you want to hold him?”

“Can I?”

“Of course! Sit by me… and Lan Zhan will show you how to hold him properly… there, that’s good… watch his head, okay?”

“Okay.” Lan SiZhui held him as instructed and soon enough, a tear dripped down onto the baby’s blanket. “I’m sorry, Senior Wei! You’re right, he’s just… s- so…”

“What’s wrong, SiZhui?”

“Did you mean it when you said that he’s my brother?”

“Yes, I did. We’ve raised you- Lan Zhan more than me, but still, it only makes sense. You’ll look out for him, yeah?”

“Yes!”

“Try to keep him out of trouble, but if you can’t, follow along so you can help him out of it. That’s about all I ask.” 

“You didn’t have to ask, Senior Wei, I would’ve done all that anyway.” Lan SiZhui continues holding him until the infant starts to grunt— and soon after— cry loudly. Noise is forbidden, but no one complains outside of the home. 

“He’s probably hungry now.” Wei WuXian gently takes the baby again, laughing when the baby starts to grab at him. “No, I’ve got nothing for you, little one. You’ll have to take this bottle instead. Yep, he is hungry, look at how fast he’s drinking! He has my appetite.” He lovingly gazes at the little thing, wiping milk from his chin every now and then. “Why do I love him so incredibly much already? He’s the most precious little thing I’ve ever seen...”

.

Lan XiChen is the next visitor after the birth. As improper as it is for the other members of the sect to visit, he is direct family, the uncle of this child and the rules bend a bit under said circumstances. And besides, he's been waiting for this moment for a long, long time.

The juniors follow him up to the cottage and strain to hear a baby’s cry or anything interesting, but the lights are dim and the house is quiet.

He ignores the pleas of the juniors when he enters and closes the door softly behind him.

Lan SiZhui stands up when Lan XiChen enters the hallway. “Zewu-jun, I’m glad you’ve come back!”

“How is he?” He asks as he gently brushes past the youth.

“Both of them are doing really good! I’ll tell Hanguang-jun you’re here.”

“Thank you.”

.

The bundle of white is placed in its uncle’s arms, and Wei WuXian has never seen so many smiling Lan’s in one place. Lan WangJi, who hasn’t stopped smiling since he was assured that Wei WuXian would recover well and the baby was placed in his arms, has also never strayed from Wei WuXian’s side.

And Lan XiChen is just as overjoyed, Wei WuXian can see it in his eyes as much as his smile. “He looks a lot like WangJi as an infant.”

“You remember that?” Wei WuXian replies, watching the baby’s every move and looking for an excuse to take him back. He doesn’t like to share. 

“I remember he was chubby and had a red face after birth. I told my mother that he was ugly.”

“Hahaha, you were as honest as I am,” Wei WuXian leans over to stroke the infant’s cheek. “How’d you know he’s a boy? I hadn’t told you.”

“Lucky guess… I must say, Young Master Wei, he is perfect.”

“Oh, isn’t he?” Wei WuXian beams, and even Lan WangJi looks proud of his accomplishment. “You can look like an angry radish for all I care, little one, it doesn’t matter. Your father and I love you so extremely much.” He glances at Lan XiChen warily, “You know he’s gonna try and hold him more than I get to. You should give him lots of stuff to do, keep him busy so I can have this baby all to myself.”

Lan XiChen laughs softly, shaking his head at the very visible discontent on his brother’s face. “I’ll see what I can do.”

***

After a final check-up at supper-time, the two are left to their baby for the rest of the evening. Wei WuXian breathes a sigh of relief. Tonight, their son will go to a wet nurse, which Wei WuXian had talked himself into for the sake of his rest and sanity. He met the woman weeks in advance and didn’t have any issue with her. Besides, she would be in the other room, not a mile away. The first night went swimmingly, and when he woke up after ten, there was his son, well-fed and waiting for him. “Hi, baby!” he immediately coos, snuggling him close. “I missed you so much!”

It’s not exactly the truth, since he’s been passed out since about five minutes after his son went to bed last night, but it’s not like his son needs to know that. 

The plan is to have him bottle-fed during the day, breastfed at night. It requires two wet nurses that he won’t be seeing much of. When his son starts to fuss an hour later, Wei WuXian happily produced a bottle and gently eased it into his mouth. But after a few sips, his son wasn’t interested. “Hm. I know you’re hungry, little rabbit, don’t play me!” 

Lan WangJi scoots over to sit closer. “I can try?”

“Okay,” ever-so-carefully, he moves his son into Lan WangJi’s lap. Then, his husband attempts to feed their son again, managing just a few sips before the baby turns his head, starting to cry. 

“Maybe he isn’t hungry?”

“I’ll walk him.”

And he does, but his cries only get louder. Eventually, he gives in and drinks enough to calm him down, but he just doesn’t seem… happy.

When he’s hungry again two hours later, he won’t drink at all. Wei WuXian is starting to think he’s sick, or perhaps always has this issue, regardless of what’s feeding him. So he asks the night-time wet nurse, who merely shrugs and says he eats like a horse with her. “I’m sure your daytime nurse would be happy to help out, Senior Wei.” She added.

When he asked the doctor, she told him that his son simply had a preference. “Some babies are pickier in that way,” she said.

So he thought, he’d do whatever it took to keep his child happy and fed, so he ditched the bottle idea. His son spent every two hours for the rest of the day in the arms of a wet nurse, who took care of him for most of the time when he wasn’t eating, too.

Even though Wei WuXian was recovering, he still very much wanted to see his son. He couldn’t rest without it.

That night, when it had been a long time since he heard his son’s fussing in the other room, he slips out of bed and tip-toes to the nursery. His body groans in protest, still searing with pain from the stitches and all the after-effects of bringing a human into the world, but he is worth it. And there he is, his precious little son, sound asleep in his cradle, and Wei WuXian’s heart swells. Slowly, he stoops to pick him up, beaming at the way his son’s soft little cheek feels against his skin. The nurse clears her throat. “Senior Wei, he had just fallen asleep.”

“I missed him,” he says, turning back towards the door. “I’m just gonna hold him for a little while.”

“It is best to sleep when he sleeps—”

“Yep! Thank you for the suggestion.” He steps out into the hallway, slowly sinking onto the bench against the wall. He realizes, once again, how much he loves this child. 

He presses a few kisses onto the baby’s head but otherwise keeps still, enjoying the moment. 

A few moments later, Lan WangJi walks into the hallway, likely wondering what was keeping his husband from bed. Smiling, he sits beside him, equally in awe of the precious little baby. 

“We still have to name him,” Wei WuXian says. “But nothing seems good enough, you know?”

“Mn,” Lan WangJi slides an arm around his husband. “I like the name you suggested, though.”

“Lan Lan?”

“No, the one you said just after his birth.”

“Oh! You mean A-Xiao.” Wei WuXian looks down at the baby. “But is it right? I want his name to be perfect.”

“We still have a few days to decide.”

Wei WuXian ends up leaning against his shoulder, eyes shut contentedly. “Yeah.” 

Soon after, he started to fuss. Warily, the nurse rose from her chair and stood in front of him. “I’ll take him now, Senior Wei, Hanguang-jun.”

And Wei WuXian allowed it, of course, but as he lay in bed that night, a wave of uneasiness came over him as he thought of his son relying on someone else, a total stranger, really, for comfort instead of him. Wei WuXian could leave right now, for days if he wanted to, and his son wouldn’t care. Wouldn’t need him.

Hm. He doesn’t like that at all. 

***

When Lan XiChen visits the next afternoon, he is glad to find Wei WuXian sitting up, without the assistance of anyone, his son in his arms. Of course, Lan WangJi is standing by should there be any trouble, but so far there isn’t.

“Have you come for your nephew? I knew you would.” He takes the bottle from the baby as it is empty and lifts him up, “Look, son, your favorite.”

The baby glances at his uncle, making a small noise in his throat. “I told you, Lan Zhan, he prefers everyone over me.”

“That isn’t so.” Lan WangJi insists. 

“It is so! He doesn’t even love me.”

“I think he usually wants whoever feeds him.” Lan XiChen replies, having no idea of the touchiness of the subject. “By the way, have you decided on a name yet?”

He glances to Lan WangJi, who nods. “I want something simple. He can be given a fancier one later. We’ve narrowed it down to two names. Lan Zhan’s gonna decide within the next few days.”

“I see… but if you rely on WangJi, he may never tell you what the name is.”

“I noticed. He is stubborn! So I will tell you the names now, so you’ll at least have a clue. We both like—“

“Wei Ying, that’ll be enough.”

“Ru, But it’s kinda too short, yeah? And then there's the name that I chose, which is—“

“Wei Ying.”

“Fine, I won’t say it.” He winks at Lan XiChen. “But if you have any ideas, let us know.” He hugs the baby close to his chest and sighs contentedly. “He may not love me , but I love him . I wish I could have a hundred of him, he’s so perfect.” He kisses the boy’s forehead. 

Lan XiChen admires the expression of a proud father in Lan WangJi and agrees, “Yes, although I may be a bit biased, I believe he is the most handsome child I have ever seen.”

“I agree.” Lan WangJi says calmly, but his eyes are shining. 

***

He hardly held his son at all today. Every time he tried, he would fuss after just a few minutes, and even Lan WangJi didn’t have much success. But when he was with his nurses, he was good as gold and quiet. Is he a bad parent? Or— worse… is their son only attached to his nurses? Does he think they’re his parents?

That night, he whispers in the dark, “Lan Zhan, do you feel like we’re… not really his parents?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like it’s… I don’t know, like we’re just here for show? Am I being dramatic?”

“I feel the same. Perhaps we are dramatic.”

They talk to the doctor, who tells him quite frankly that the baby has to eat, there’s no other way around it. 

So Wei WuXian sulks a little, but decides he’ll just spend extra time with his son tonight, when he sleeps for that three hour stretch. 

The next night, he slipped out of bed again after his son had been quiet for a decent amount of time, rubbing his hands together to warm them. He’s got a brilliant idea— why not have his son sleep in their room, and he can take him to the nurse when he needs to?

Sure enough, there’s his son, sound asleep, angelic as always. As soon as he saw him it immediately lifted his spirits. Ever so carefully, he lifts him, minding the slight initial threat of a whine before the baby drifts off to sleep again. Once he is adjusted, he moves towards his bedroom again. 

As he’s crossing the main room, the nurse has just opened the door, coming back inside with a tray in her hands, teacup on top. “Was he crying? I can—“

“No, no, I just came to see him.” He smiles brightly, seeing no fault in his actions. “Anyway, I’ll take care of him until he needs you again.”

“He was comfortable,” she says as respectfully as possible, minding her frustration for professionalism’s sake. “And the more he sleeps at night, the more time you’ll have with them during the day.”

“I hardly see him.” Now, his smile is a little thin. “As I said, I’ll bring him to you when he needs you.”

She sets down her tea. “Senior Wei, you hired me to take care of him at night.”

His temper is short, but he decides not to lash out. “Anyway, enjoy a break, okay?” And with that, he was back in his room. 

Ever-so-carefully, he slides back into bed, marveling at how incredibly peaceful and perfect this moment with his son is, gentle moonlight illuminating their dark bedroom. He should do this every night. You know what, he will!

He slept another three hours on his own, and after a changing, another hour. By then, it was after five and time for the day-time nurse. She brings him back at six, so he’s there when he and Lan WangJi eat. 

“I think I’m obsessed with him.” Wei WuXian informs his husband. “I wish he’d take a bottle. Then, we’d never have to be apart from him. Sometimes, a room away feels like an ocean.”

.

On the third night, he stole his son from his cradle again, but this time he cried for a few minutes, the nurse growing increasingly annoyed. Eventually he calmed down, but only short term, for when the baby next woke, he looked positively betrayed that it was Wei WuXian holding him and not one of his nurses and yowled until one came to fetch him. “Please, leave the night shifts to me.” She said, a hint of anger in her voice as she whisked him away. 

“I didn’t hire you to raise him,” he shot back. 

The next night when he tried to open the door to the nursery, he found it wouldn’t budge. Something ugly came out of him, just then, when he wasn’t answered after the first knock. There wasn’t a door left after that, and he found her resting on the cot, his son peacefully in the crib. He felt like his entire body was on fire. The woman looked as if she’d seen a ghost. 

“Senior Wei?”

“Am I an inconvenience to you?” He’s so fucking mad, he’s shaking— “do you have something against me seeing my son? Do you have any idea just who you’re working for?” 

“Senior Wei, I—”

“Do you know that I gave birth to him?!” He lifts the baby, kissing his cheeks. He holds him close to his chest, as if he has to protect him. “You know what? This isn’t working. This isn’t working at all. I’d like you to leave.”

“I cannot willingly leave this baby to go hungry.”

“He won’t go hungry!”

Lan WangJi found his way to the room waking up at the commotion. “Wei Ying, what happened?”

“I’d like her to leave for the evening.”

The look the esteemed Hanguang-jun gives her is all she needs to see to know she won’t be returning to this residence, no matter how much she apologizes. 

Once she’s gone, Wei WuXian breathes a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry I woke you, Lan Zhan.”

“I am glad you did.” Lan WangJi wraps his arms around him, kisses his neck. “You have every right to be angry.”

“He’s my baby, Lan Zhan,” he seethes, “and I don’t think anyone is respecting that.”

“If anyone, I would know he’s most certainly yours. Ours.”

“Ours.” Wei WuXian agrees. “But mostly mine right now. I don’t want to put him down.”

“I won’t take him from you. No one will ever take him from you.” 

Eventually, he agrees to head back to bed, keeping his son tight in his arms all the way. 

Lan WangJi joins him, but neither sleep. Eventually, he says, “Wei Ying, I do agree with you. But she’s partially right. He needs to eat…"

“I’ll take care of it, alright?”

“You?”

He sighs. “As much as I hate the idea, I don’t see why I couldn’t handle one night of it. Just- just don’t say anything about it.”

“Mn.”

So when he gets hungry, Wei WuXian draws back his robe, leaving his son to figure the rest out. It feels terribly awkward, his cheeks are burning. But it’s not like there’s nothing in there for him. In fact, there’s plenty. At first, the baby spits it out, but after a minute he goes on drinking as normal, just as he would with his nursemaid. Look, Wei WuXian, he thinks, you’ve gotten what you wanted. Happy?

Maybe not, but keeping his son with him all night makes him happier than he was. If he thinks about it too hard, he’ll start hating himself and being repulsed by it all, so he just has to keep up a mantra. It’s for the baby. It’s for the baby. 

It’s for the baby. 

.

He’s admittedly very tired, come morning. But he’s happier than he’s been since the day his son was born, and the joy he feels waking up to his son in his arms is indescribable. 

Perhaps they could have their current day-nurse take the night shifts only now? He likes her a lot better, although maybe he wasn’t the kindest to the night-shift nurse. Oh well, what does it matter now? What’s done is done. Arrangements are made. She will stay on, take over nights for the time being. If it turns out to be too stressful— which really, how ridiculous, it’s his own child!— she’ll take days. He’ll take nights. Above all, he wants more time with his son— for his son to like him. 

.

On the tenth day, Lan WangJi carries his son out of the house for the first time. The boy is swaddled in a large, white blanket, mittens on his hands and a small hat on his head. He grumbles unhappily when met with the sun, and Lan WangJi presses him closer. Today, he will be introducing his son to many of the elders, save for Lan QiRen, who isn't permitted.

He meets his brother on the path heading towards the gathered elders. “How is Young Master Wei this morning?”

“Well. He wanted to go, but…”

“It was best for him to stay. He is not quite ready to be on his feet.”

“That is what I told him.” Lan WangJi looks at him. “I left him seated in a chair by the fire. SiZhui is with him.”

“Good.” 

They were soon swarmed by the Juniors, but one look from Lan XiChen made them back off, and patiently wait to see the child later, after he was presented to everyone else. Still, the Juniors strain their necks to get a look at the child who’d attracted so much attention over the past ten days. But Lan WangJi held the child too closely to catch so much as a sliver of his face. To be fair, it was rather cold for March, and he was probably just keeping him warm.

Because they knew it could be more than an hour before they could get another peek, they went to find Lan SiZhui to squeeze some information out of him. As expected, he was never far from the Cottage. This morning, he was outside lacing up his boots.

“SiZhui! Tell us about the baby!”

“Huh?”

“The baby! Is it a boy or girl? Come on, tell us!”

“If Hanguang-jun hasn’t said anything, I can’t!”

“Oh come on, that’s no fun!”

“Shhh, Senior Wei will hear.”

“Hear what?” Wei WuXian calls from a nearby open window, peering out at the Juniors. “Ha, you’re too late, boys, they’ve already taken the baby..”

“Yes, Senior Wei, we know. We came here to, that is, to…”

“To bully SiZhui into giving away the name? That’s not very Lan-esque of you.”

“Yes, Senior Wei!”

“You should’ve just come to me. They aren’t my rules, anyway. It's a boy, and his name is--”

“Senior Wei, aren’t we supposed to wait until after they get back to announce it?” Lan SiZhui interrupts, to everyone’s dismay.

“Oh, I guess you’re right. Fine, you will have to wait. Though I did tell you it’s a boy, if that helps at all.”

“It did!” One chirped. “How are you, Senior Wei?”

“Very ill and bored. Say, if you see Hanguang-jun on the way back, you will tell him he should bring me a jar of Emperor’s Smile, yeah?”

“Of course!”

“Now run along. There’s no fun to be had, not while I’m confined to this chair and my bed.”

.

After the Juniors leave for their daily lessons, Wei WuXian flops back into his bed and stares at the ceiling in absolute boredom. “What is taking them so long?” He asks no one in particular. Heaving a large sigh, he pulls the blanket over himself and lays on his side, staring at the door as if he could make it open, summoning his husband at once. But no one comes, not until after he’s already fallen asleep. He wakes again to Lan WangJi’s prodding for him to sit up, that he needs to eat.

And for once, he doesn’t complain. “You left me for too long, Lan Zhan, even SiZhui left…”

“Apologies. Our son is very popular among his elders.”

“What, really? Seriously?”

“Yes.” There is a trace of a smile on his face. “With the juniors, as well. It was a difficult task to get inside.”

“Where is he?”

“I have him in the other room. You will see him after you eat.”

“Hmmph.”

“You are very thin, Wei Ying. I am repeatedly told this by Brother.”

“I doubt he is very worried, Lan Zhan. Besides, he only comes here to see the baby, anyway.” 

Lan WangJi says nothing, only passing him the second plate. 

.

“I found out some things today, Lan Zhan,” Wei WuXian says a few nights later, when it’s just them. “First, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling are coming in two weeks, I just sent a letter today and already got a response.”

“Good,” he says, and he means it. It’ll be good for Wei WuXian to have some good company. 

“And the doctor told me I’ll lose the baby weight quicker if I keep up the… the feeding.” He quickly downs some of his tea. “But also that I’m not healing as well as I should be and should spend more time in bed. Here’s the problem: I can’t! I get bored! It’s spring now and I want to be outside. I want to see our son’s reaction to it all, and I don’t want to miss a single minute of it!”

“I could carry you outside, find you a place to rest out there.”

“You don’t have to carry me, I can still walk!”

“Wei Ying… she told me you are officially on bed rest until your stitches heal.”

“That’s not even fair! She must’ve done a shit job at the stitches then, because all I’ve done is walk around the house…”

“Is that all you have done?”

“Anyway, it’s not my fault I tore! Blame your family’s big-headed genes!”

He huffs out a laugh, giving his husband a kiss. “I will take you outside tomorrow, Wei Ying.”

They hear a tiny cry in the other room, temporary and so high-pitched, like a kitten's. Wei WuXian smiles, tears filling his eyes. "Hey, Lan Zhan. We have a kid now."

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng is pacing back and forth on the docks while waiting for his slow-poke nephew to hurry up so they can make the trip to the Cloud Recesses together. The baby was born weeks ago, and Jiang Cheng only stayed away this long to prove that he wasn’t eager to meet the new GusuLan heir. But in reality, he’s extremely eager to meet him. 

Jiang Cheng likes children, though he’d never admit it. He thinks they are often more practical than adults. Well, some of them are. Others, like Jin Ling, are almost completely impractical. He doesn’t listen to him all now, that stubborn teenager. Like when he tells him to pack lightly for a very brief, in-and-out visit at the Cloud Recesses, but half the boat is filled with luggage and gifts for the new parents. Worst of all, when Jin Ling finally comes to the docks, his arms are filled with packages stacked above his head. 

Jiang Cheng inspects the packages with disapproval. “And these are…?”

“Gifts! For the new baby, obviously! Where are yours? You can’t just show up to a baby shower without a gift!”

“I’m not giving him anything.”

“What!”

“Why should I? It’s not like he’s going to care, he can’t even lift his head yet. Besides, that rich family of his has everything covered.” And what would bringing a gift imply? He's just a positively neutral visitor, it's sect business to visit when a new heir is born! Surely they will be working together a few decades down the road!

“It’s the thought that matters!" Ever-so-carefully, Jin Ling sets down the last of the packages and sighs. "Now, where will I fit my luggage?"

***

It is spring in the Cloud Recesses and the place has never looked so cheerful. Then again, he's hardly been here in years. Perhaps there are cheerful days when others aren't around. 

But beautiful white flowers are in bloom everywhere, lining the paths leading up the mountains, and Jiang Cheng is certain they were not there when he last visited. It makes the place a little less gloomy, but still not entirely inviting. They are let in the front gate without issue, and then Jiang Cheng turns to pull a note from his sleeve. "According to Wei Wuxian, they now live in some little cottage, "downhill from the gate, by the rabbits", which should be fun to find."

"I thought the jingshi was elegant and really spacious. Why the move?" says Jin Ling as he carefully steps over a very small, white bunny. 

"Something about privacy? What do they need privacy for right now, they've just had a baby..."

Indeed, the cottage is not difficult to find. It is nestled in a field of flowers, an absolute eyesore to the rest of the Cloud Recesses. Colors are everywhere, from fair pinks to deep, rich purples. Yet it is landscaped carefully, as if this was intentional. There is a wide pebbled path leading to the house, and paths through the fields down to the creek or the rabbit enclosure. It looks like a pond has been created near the creek recently, with a elegant bench situated beside it. Still, despite the meticulous landscaping, the place really is nothing more than a lavish eyesore. No place like the Cloud Recesses could ever be so colorful. 

"Are you coming, Uncle?" 

The two are welcomed into the new residence by a servant, where they find Wei WuXian straddling his husband’s lap, enveloped in a deep kiss.

“Oh my god, you just had a baby!!” Jiang Cheng is only stopped from using Zidian because of the new baby nearby, but that's it.

They pull apart suddenly, and Wei Wuxian laughs, shameless as ever, “And you weren’t due here until this evening! Hi, Jin Ling, how are you?”

“Well, and yourself? You look fine. I thought you were sick.” Jin Ling is much better at pretending he saw nothing, studying the carpet below them in lieu of eye contact. 

“I’m absolutely fine. Just a little tired…” Lan Wangji gently helps Wei Wuxian off of his lap, giving him a final kiss on the temple - even though he’d never do such a thing in the past. Jiang Cheng stifles the urge to vomit. 

“Where is he?”

Wei WuXian beams. “Follow me, but be very quiet… he just went down for his nap.”

They walk into a small room nearby. From here, he can see what must be Wei Wuxian's newest quarters nextdoor, for it is absolutely wrecked— a stark contrast to the rest of the house. Wei Wuxian gives them a sheepish grin as he slides that door shut with his foot. "Ha~, anyways, here—"

There’s a wide window letting in the morning sunlight and a cradle against one of the walls. Other than a large chest on the other wall, that’s it. There’s absolutely nothing spectacular about the room that the sect heir lives in, except for the sect heir himself. 

And oh , he’s so tiny. It's been many years since either have seen a newborn, and it's easy to forget just how small they are. 

Jin Ling’s smiling now, and even Jiang Cheng looks somewhat pleased– a stark contrast to his usual scowl. 

“How old is he?” Jin Ling asks, voice hardly above a whisper. He nearly tip-toes to the side of the cradle, earning him a scoff from Jiang Cheng. If he hadn't woken from the noise of four men walking in, why would he wake from a few footsteps?

Wei Wuxian stoops down to smooth over his baby’s hair, readjust the sky blue blanket over him. “A month old already.”

Jiang Cheng thought the baby was younger than that. He hadn't received a letter until just over a week ago, and the rest of the world had been unaware of the birth until now. It looks like GusuLan had been sealed up tight about the news, perhaps to keep privacy during this special time. But to not tell them? A simple note informing them of his birth would've sufficed, with details to come. Now that Jiang Cheng knows he's a month old, he's starting to suspect a different reason for their visit: a one month celebration. It brings up emotions he's tried to keep buried for the sake of civility, and his temper is too quick to swallow it back down again. “A month and he’s still that tiny? Oh well! It’ll be a lesser-deserved one-month celebration, then. That’s why we’re here, right?”

“Well… not—“

“A little runt of that size is nothing to celebrate. Jin Ling was easily double his size at his age. Easily. And he didn’t get his celebration, as you know.”

"Uncle, do we have to—"

The air to the room has completely changed. Jin Ling looks down at the floor. Lan Wangji's gaze is burning a hole into Jiang Cheng's face. 

“I would never ask either of you to celebrate the same event that…” Wei Wuxian looks away from his son, “that ruined so many lives. I just wanted you to see him. We really aren’t celebrating anything.”

“Wei Ying, no.” Lan WangJi, captain of the defend Wei Wuxian club, gives Jiang Cheng an even fiercer look. “Wei Ying can celebrate if he wants to. It was no easy feat, carrying this child for most of a year. I am proud of him, and I want to celebrate both his accomplishments and this new life. In any case, it is not your decision to make simply because something tragic happened in the past.”

It feels a bit awkward after that. Jiang Cheng says he’s going to go visit the sect leader and leaves without another word, which is impressive, considering everything. Suddenly feeling vulnerable and outnumbered, Jin Ling blurts, “Ah- can I hold the baby?”

This immediately lifts Wei Wuxian’s spirits. “Of course! Here, sit there on the chest and I’ll bring him to you.”

“Do you need more furniture for this room, Wei Wuxian?” Jin Ling asks. “There’s hardly anything here.”

“Admittedly…” Wei Wuxian lifts the baby from his bassinet, “He hardly stays in here. Most of the time I’m too tired to get out of bed, so we just keep everything he needs in or on the bedside table.” 

Jin Ling sits down on the chest and extends his arms for the baby, with Lan WangJi adding, “Mind his head—“ at the same time Wei Wuxian says “careful”.

“He’s not so tiny.” Jin Ling says. “He’s heavier than I thought. And… not at all a runt.”

“Apparently, Lan babies are small children. Then, they spring up like weeds in their adolescence. Take Hanguang-jun for an example. I was once taller than him, back when we met!”

“You were not taller.”

“Yes I was!”

“Your ponytail does not count.”

He pouts again, and despite being in front of Jin Ling, Lan WangJi quickly kisses the pout off his lips. Luckily, the young man hadn’t been looking. Still, he’s surprised at how openly flirtatious the pair are being. It’s a whole new level of shamelessness. But he supposes they’re just really happy, and that’s not any of his business, anyway!

But the baby is cute, too cute , and he hasn’t held one since his cousin A-Song was born. That was, of course, before...

“Do you want me to take him back, Jin Ling?”

“No, I’ve got him.”

“Okay, well if he starts to fuss, call for me. I’ll be in the other room.”

He doesn’t even care, honestly. The baby doesn’t fuss, even as he starts to wake up. He smells nice. He just lies there in Jin Ling’s arms, lazily staring up at him, not even beginning to question it. The quiet nature of Hanguang-jun, the easygoing personality of Wei Wuxian. 

***

“Are you there, Zewu-jun?”

“Is that you, Jiang Wanyin? Come in!”

Admittedly, he’d expected to find Lan Xichen moping about in his home as usual, a mess unbearable to the eye inside since he forbade servants to clean it. But he finds the place incredibly clean, and the sect leader himself donning a bright smile as he opens the door. “I hoped you’d come. How are you?”

And he hates to kill the mood, especially when Lan Xichen seems so happy. But he’s honest, and he is really bad at pretending. “I think I’m going to be leaving. I thought I could do this, but I can’t.”

“Have you even seen the baby yet?”

Upon hearing the word, Jiang Cheng’s jaw clenches, Zidian still twitching at his wrist. 

“Jiang Wanyin?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I saw him, alright? There’s nothing special about him. Nothing at all. Why’d I bother coming? Why’d I think I could do this?”

“Jiang Wanyin— he’s just a baby.” Lan Xichen’s typical friendly demeanor is rapidly fading. “There’s no point in directing your anger towards an infant when Wei Wuxian is the real object of your fury. And if you cannot treat this child fairly— if not as my brother’s son, but as an innocent human— then you should not be here. No one expects it of you.”

“Do I not have the right to be angry? When this child still has both of his parents at a month old when my nephew was orphaned at the same age? Am I supposed to be happy for him??” 

“I do not care if you are. But listen, Wanyin. Do you honestly think he isn’t aware of those things, that he isn’t drowning in guilt?”

“I thought I could do this. A-Ling could. He looked at that child like it was his own brother. But I…”

“Then go. Go, before you get his hopes up and send them crashing down.”

“Xichen, I didn’t come here with that kind of intention—“

“But there’s certainly expectation when you come here. He’s been greatly looking forward to it, and said it has helped him through these difficult days. And you want to leave after one look? You shouldn’t have come at all.”

***

“So, how often does he have to eat?” Jin Ling asks Lan Sizhui when Wei WuXian emerges from his bedroom with the baby again. 

“A lot.” Lan Sizhui says, “Based on what I’ve seen.”

“And yet he’s so tiny…”

“There’s a reason for that,” Wei WuXian says, joining the boys. “One, he’s a Lan, and two, he spits up pretty much everything he eats if he’s not held a certain way.” 

“Oh.” Jin Ling decides not to talk about the baby’s weight anymore. “Well, he is very cute. Lots of hair. It’s a shame I got so many hats then.”

“Your gifts are great, Jin Ling. I feel very spoiled!”

“Nothing but the best for my little cousin. I mean, he is my cousin whether I like it or not, no matter which way you look at it.”

“He’ll be lucky to have you then, considering getting a cousin out of Zewu-jun seems unlikely.” Wei Wuxian smiles, pecks the baby’s cheek. He does it every twenty seconds or so, he is truly obsessed. 

“By the way, what did you choose for his courtesy name?”

“We’re still talking about it. There’s a lot of important people in his life, virtues we’d like him to have…”

“Or you could be mean and name him after someone who scares you. Imagine how I felt growing up with the name Ru lan , when Hanguang-jun and Grandmaster Lan scared me so much! As payback, you should let me give him his courtesy name!”

Wei Wuxian grins smugly, “What do you have in mind?” 

“How about we name him after Grandmaster Lan?” 

“Jin Rulan, I will remove you from this house—” Wei Wuxian points at him, giving him a teasingly serious look. “Rulan was a great name. I’d name my son that if I hadn’t chosen it for you!” 

“You suck at names. Admit it.”

“No I do not!” Wei Wuxian pretends to be shocked, going as far as to gently cover the baby's ears. “Don't listen to him, he's slandering me. So far I’ve done fabulously with name choosing.” 

“And really, Rulan is a lovely name.” Lan Sizhui chimes in.

“And I’ll tell you this, Jin Ling. If I do let you come up with his courtesy name, it better be incredible, because Lan Zhan and I are taking this naming thing very seriously. We can't have any names chosen in poor taste."

“Fine, I'll let you know if I can think of anything.” he says, lacking a comeback. “Anyway, what was it like? How badly did it hurt?” Wei Wuxian is probably the only person he could ever ask such a question. Anyone else would shame him for asking, question his upbringing, but Wei Wuxian really doesn't mind. 

“Oh, you know," Wei Wuxian gives his stomach a pat. “Words can’t describe it, and I’d love to try, but I really can’t. Not unless you’ve had your core ripped out or your bones split by something crushing your pelvis and your private regions rip—”

“Okay, I got it! Thanks.” Jin Ling scrambles to his feet. “Sizhui! Didn’t we have to visit Jingyi today?”

“Not that I recall…?”

“I distinctly remember!” Jin Ling goes flying out the door, red faced, and Wei WuXian can’t stop laughing until his stomach hurts.

***

When Lan WangJi leaves to make him lunch, Wei Wuxian decides it’s time for his (and the baby’s, of course) nap. He realizes how tired he is once he sinks into bed, warm blanket engulfing him and his son. Even though they have their night-time nurse (the former day-time nurse) he still finds himself quite tired during the day, as he can’t sleep as well at night sometimes, knowing his son isn’t with him. It’s the same for his husband, who wakes every time their son cries in the other room, and won’t sleep until he’s quiet again. He’s been the best over the past month. He does all the washing and cooking and changing. All Wei WuXian has to do is eat, feed if he wants to, and sleep. Yes, he’s still tired, but a lot less tired than he would be otherwise. Now that he’s almost fully recovered, he wants to start helping more around the house, give his husband more of a break. 

He’s happy, though, despite the stress. They both are. Their son is perfect , no matter what anyone else says. So what if he’s small? All the more reason he’s adorable .

He smoothes over his son’s hair again (his current obsession), kisses his fingers, then settles back in bed.

The baby makes a small noise, turning his head until he’s face down in his chest. He kicks his legs as if he wants to move upwards, like he wants to go somewhere, and uses his hands to try to push himself, though far too small to be successful. “Didn’t you hear me say it was nap time, little rabbit?” 

In response, the baby lifts his head. 

“Young Master Lan, do you thrive on disobeying me? Look, I’m tired and you’ve just eaten. Aren’t you tired?” In response to the wide eyes staring back at him, he says, “no, I suppose you aren’t. You'll have to learn how sacred sleep is to me, but in the mean time let’s see if we can get A-die to play with you while I sleep.”

“Eat first, Wei Ying." the room is soon filled with the delicious aroma of spice after almost a whole year's absence. 

“Ah, there he is!” Wei WuXian climbs out of bed, smushing his son’s cheek with a few kisses. “I’ll eat, Lan Zhan, but I’m honestly exhausted. Would you mind if I napped for a few hours?”

“That is fine.” He takes the baby from him, letting him chew on his shoulder. “I wonder if Jiang Wanyin will join us for dinner.”

“I think he realized what he’s gotten himself into and ran back to Lotus Pier. What a shame! He’s missing out on this cute little guy.” A kiss to the baby's cheek, then Lan WangJi’s. “But Jin Ling stayed. I think, unless I scared him off.” 

“How?”

“I was talking to him about the birth experience… which was probably traumatizing.”

“Even still, it was… one of the three best days of my life.”

“Aiya~ don’t do this to me, Lan Zhan! My heart can’t take it!”

***

Jiang Cheng bought the baby a gift. It’s not much, just a small, purple raddle. He’s bought a nice case for it, in case it’s just going to be a keepsake or something. He wrote a note along with it, planned to leave it on their porch and dip out. 

But as he approached the cottage, he paused. The window to what must be their bedroom was slightly open, so he could hear what was going on inside. The baby was fussing. It’s a good thing, really, so they won’t be worried about coming to the door. 

“I can take him back, Lan Zhan, it’s no trouble.”

“No.” There’s movement in the room, the crying moving closer to the window. He treads even lighter. “Shh… A-Xiao…”

Like that’ll work. 

And then, he hears the most unusual sound of all: Hanguang-jun’s singing voice. Soft and soothing, and the baby’s cries soon wean off. He’s never heard this song before.

Maybe this expressionless Lan WangJi will be a decent father after all. 

He sets the gift on the porch and starts to tiptoe away. 

“Hey.”

Jiang Cheng’s soul nearly leaves his body at the sudden noise, and there’s Wei Wuxian standing at the side of the house. 

“ Shit , I almost—“

“You could’ve knocked, you know.”

“What are you doing out here?”

“Taking a piss before it gets too dark.”

“An answer I didn’t prepare for. Goodbye.”

“Will you be back tomorrow? Lan Zhan will be attending some business in the afternoon, so it’ll just be me and the baby home.”

“Fine.”

“We’ll open the gift when you come back, shushu!”

“Shut up!”

***

Once their son is asleep, Wei Wuxian feels like he has just enough energy to have a small conversation with his husband. These days, those are few and far in-between, unless the topic is their son, of course. 

“Jiang Cheng is coming over tomorrow.”

“Should I stay?”

“No, you don’t have to. I’m pretty sure I can handle myself.”

“I’ll only be gone an hour.” Lan WangJi says. “But please send for me if you need anything.” 

“I will, A-Die ,” he says, only slightly teasing. “But I really can handle him alone. You need a break, anyway. Don’t feel guilty!” 

“I am not leaving for a break.” Lan WangJi informs him, “I do not need one.”

“I’m sure, I’m sure,” Wei WuXian, suddenly feeling quite tired, lies back and closes his eyes. “I don’t need one either, but it would be nice if I was allowed out like a normal person. Keeping to our house like I’m some impure being is just wrong. Well, I am an impure being, just not for having a baby. I’ve done much more impure things than that.”

“Try to sleep, Wei Ying.”

He sulks a little, but turns on his side facing both of them, tries to obey. Their night-time nanny had two days off this week to spend with her sister in Caiyi Town. It was their first proper experience of 24/7 parenting. Last night, Wei WuXian didn’t sleep a wink. He enters a state of rest, though his awareness of his surroundings is intact. Sometimes, his son falls asleep against him, and he’ll try to doze off too. But the second he does, the baby wakes up, almost like he’s forbidden to sleep. Of course Lan WangJi has stepped in, but Wei WuXian finds himself unable to sleep during the middle of the day anyway, so it’s basically useless. He has a high level of cultivation, he can manage a few days of lost sleep. 

Yet this is a type of fatigue he’s never felt before. It’s different from staying up on his own accord. He feels like he’s in an alternate reality, having departed from the world and all that’s important. His main goal is to take care of his son. Nothing else matters. 

As expected, he doesn’t sleep much that night. He and his husband switch off every few hours, but their son opted to stay awake most of the night. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even cry when he woke up, they’d just hear him hiccup, or maybe feel him kicking his legs around, grab hold of their hair. 

It was four in the morning and he’d just woken them again. Wei Wuxian whimpers, thoroughly exhausted. “Lan Zhan…”

“I will take him.”

“Thank you…”

Lan WangJi has never felt so tired in all of his life, but by contrast, he has never been happier, either. He used to be somewhat of a baby whisperer in his younger years. If a baby was crying and its parents couldn’t soothe it, one could bet Hanguang-jun would be the one to calm it. Back then as he held those infants, he often longed to have this experience with Wei Wuxian, for them to be a real family and not parted by the emptiness of death.

Never in a million lifetimes would he have imagined to have it now with Wei Wuxian, to share not one, but two brilliant, wonderful sons together. He’s so lucky, so grateful, that he won’t complain about a lack of sleep, even if it goes on for years. He takes the baby out of the room, already hearing Wei Wuxian snoring before he can even shut the door. 

In the main room, he finds Lan Sizhui tidying up the stray dishes, having already washed the baby’s clothes and set them to dry by the fire. Lan Wangji looks around, and though greatly impressed, his fatherly side must prevail, “Sizhui, you should be asleep.”

“I’m fine, Hanguang-jun. This is the least I can do to help.” Lan Sizhui dries the last bowl and quickly goes to put it away. “Since it’s still so early, I thought I might look after him for a while, let you and Senior Wei get some rest.”

Lan Wangji hesitates, though the offer is generous and wonderful. 

“Really, Hanguang-jun, it’s no trouble. I like spending time with him.”

“Alright, but just for an hour.”

He carefully hands off the baby to his brother and retreats to the bedroom, intending really just to rest his eyes. The bed has never felt so comfortable.

When next he wakes, it is half-past eleven and even Wei Wuxian has already gotten up. 

“Good morning, Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian says merrily, balancing a tray in one hand and a pile of folded robes in the other. “I’ve just sent a servant to prepare the bath water. Are you hungry?”

Lan WangJi blinks. Is he dreaming? How could he sleep in like this?

“Lan Zhan-“ he pecks his lips. “Did you hear a thing I said?”

He comes back to the surface, instantly feels overwhelmed with guilt once he realizes how long Wei Wuxian had to manage things alone. “I apologize, for sleeping in. I do not know what came over me.”

Wei Wuxian laughs. “Being a dad to a one month old baby, that’s what came over you. You work so hard, Lan Zhan, day and night, so of course you’re a bit tired.”

“Still, I…”

“If I had slept in, you’d say nothing about it. Yet the only difference between us is that I gave birth to him. Everything after, the work was shared. In fact, you’ve probably done more than I have.”

Lan Zhan looks down, eyelashes fluttering. 

“You’re an amazing partner, Lan Zhan. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He slowly climbs out of bed, envelopes him in a proper hug. “More than anything.”

So Lan WangJi gets in the bath, delighting Wei Wuxian when he lets him feed him. He decides that the baby is ready for his first proper bath, beyond a sponge and a screaming fit on the changing table. Wei Wuxian carefully lowers the baby onto Lan WangJi’s chest, then goes to find his special soaps. 

The baby squirms at first, but it doesn’t take long for him to settle in, quite liking the warm water and being in his A-Die’s hold. Wei Wuxian watches them, the brightest smile on his face. “He’s got so much hair… do you think it’s from your side of the family?”

“Highly doubtful. Uncle says… I had no hair until I was a year old.”

“Ah, so I must be responsible then.” He chuckles, kissing the crown of Lan WangJi’s head. “Still, he already looks like you. How is that possible?”

He smiles. 

“I’ll tell you, er-Gege. You’re very good at making babies.”

“Wei Ying…”

***

“He’s a skinny little guy.” Jiang Cheng remarks as he holds the baby for the first time that afternoon. For today, he holds back his pain. For today, he forces himself to make a good impression on this child. “Only what, eight pounds or so? I’d think with how much you eat, he’d be double—”

“Fuck off, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says with a laugh, putting down what might be his third meal of the day, and it’s only noon. “He was small, but Sect Leader Lan says that so was Lan Zhan, and who knows what I was. Not to mention, he’s constantly spitting up if I’m not the one feeding him.”

“Fair enough.” Jiang Cheng boops the boy’s nose. “You look exhausted as hell, by the way.”

“Thanks! I haven’t properly slept in three days.”

“Three days?! Why don’t you and him take turns with—”

“We do, but it’s no use anyway. Lan Zhan actually slept in until close to noon today, if you can believe it.” 

“It's not like he didn't ask for this…” Jiang Cheng returns his gaze at the baby. “Anyway, when you bring him to Lotus Pier next summer, he better be able to walk and run or it’ll be pointless for him to be there.”

Wei Wuxian looks up in surprise, wide smile forming. “Yeah! Maybe he’ll already be faster than you.”

Jiang Cheng shakes his head at the waking infant. “You think you can do it? No, you’re too skinny. You’ll blow away in the wind.”

The baby smiles briefly at him, eyes drooping shut. Jiang Cheng’s heart melts and it’s hard not to show it.

“Huh, I think he likes you, Jiang Cheng! I really can’t imagine why…”

“Ha-ha, shut up. I’m sure it was just a coincidence. Or maybe he just filled his diaper. Is that what it is, young man? You can’t wait to torture Wei WuXian with that, and I support you.”

To no one’s surprise, the baby smiles again, infuriating Jiang Cheng. “It- It doesn’t mean anything, why are you looking at me like that?!”

“I wish it didn’t mean anything— look, he’s still smiling— he’s never even smiled that much before, look what you’ve done. It’s what I deserve though, no doubt.”

Jiang Cheng nods to himself and stands with the baby still in his arms. “Alright, I’m tired of seeing you with those dark bags under your eyes. You go to sleep. I’ll keep him for a couple of hours.”

“What?? There’s no way you have enough patience.” But Wei Wuxian is already lying back, getting comfortable. 

“You’re not gonna stop me anyway. What happens if he gets hungry?”

“You give him his bottle, of course.” Wei Wuxian shuts his eyes. “And there are diapers pretty much everywhere, I don't know where they are exactly. But you don’t have to watch him, it’s fine, you can do whatever, I honestly don’t care. Maybe give him to me. I'm wide awake..."

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “Just go to sleep already, you idiot, you don’t make any sense when you're this tired. I know how to take care of a baby."

Needless to say, Wei Wuxian soon falls fast asleep, so Jiang Cheng walks as lightly as he can out of the bedroom, with what he decides is his nephew in his arms. "Good luck to you, Lan Xiao. With a father like him, you're gonna need it."

.

He returns with the baby in the late afternoon. The bags under Wei Wuxian’s eyes aren’t any fainter, but he does seem to have a bit more energy. Best of all, the house is still unoccupied by any other Lan’s, giving him a chance to talk to him alone. For some reason, as soon as this baby started to exist in Wei Wuxian’s life, he became much more open about his feelings. But today, he’s sealed up like a drum, keeping quiet when Jiang Cheng had hoped for some gossip. He’s a bit mean spirited, he’ll admit, in the way he finds amusement or joy in other people’s short-comings, especially when it involves a rival clan. 

He arranges for a servant to bring dinner; something edible for once. Tidies up the baby’s room. Waits for Wei Wuxian to say something. Even after dinner is brought, he still stays quiet.

Jiang Cheng puts his bowl down. “Alright, why are you so quiet? What’s the problem?” 

“There’s no problem, I’m just tired. Aren’t you glad that I’m quiet?” He picks at his food, not nearly as interested as Jiang Cheng thought he’d be.

“Yeah, but you’re almost always incapable of it. So something must’ve happened. Who pissed you off?” 

At this, Wei Wuxian sighs, lets his facade drop. He is very, very clearly pissed. “Everyone. Everyone has.”

“Ah, there he is.”

“And you can shut up too. Do you know I’m confined to the house and courtyard? Everyone says it’s a good thing, it’s a tradition and I can have anything I want while I ‘rest’, but I know better and I hate it. I hate staying in here so much. I’m so bored .”

“Word through the vine is you’ve got stitches that need healing.”

“Since when have I ever let something heal?” He slams his fist down. “But do you know what it really is? It’s not about me resting. It’s about me staying away from the rest of his family so they can have my son to themselves and not have to look at me!”

Jiang Cheng isn’t surprised, but he has to feign it. It’s no secret that Wei Wuxian isn’t the most popular among the older Lan sect members.

“I can see it now and it’s making me sick. They’re going to do everything in their power to keep him from me, just as Lan Zhan was kept from his mother.”

“You really think he or Xichen would allow that?”

“They can protest it all they want, but what about when my son is older? When he starts attending classes? How do you think he’ll feel when he gets to that rule about me and have to decide between following the rules or being with me?”

“I’m sure it won’t come to that.”
“Shut up!” Wei Wuxian pushes the table back, storms over to the window. “I can’t- I can’t stay here like this. I feel like I’m in a cage! A cage disguised as some traditional practice. I know what the reasoning really is. Or else, why does everyone only come to see the baby and not me? Do you- do you know how many letters we’ve received over the past months congratulating Hanguang-jun for his new child? Hanguang-jun! As if he’s the only one who had anything to do with it!” 

“Then…”
“Then what? Take my son away from this place so he doesn’t have an identity either?” 

“Wei Wuxian, I don’t think you realize how much influence you have here. Why don’t you leave for a while, scare them? Take the baby and just go and don’t tell anyone.”

Wei Wuxian just shakes his head. “Where could I go? Where could I possibly go?”

“Come to Lotus Pier. Don’t be obvious about it, or else they’ll send someone after you. But one of these days, just take your son and go and stay with us. We can keep you in one of the outer buildings.”

“You’re funny.” Wei Wuxian moves to the cradle, gives his son a long look. “And anyway, this isn’t Lan Zhan’s fault. I wouldn’t punish him like that, making him come with me and force you two to get along.” 

“Then don’t go with him. Simple, problem solved. Are you done eating?”

“Don’t talk like that. Never in my whole life would I leave him, even if it means being miserable here. It’s not his fault, Jiang Cheng. And- and can you imagine how my child would feel growing up, if I just left him?"

“It kind of is his fault.” Jiang Cheng says, ignoring the other part of the statement.

“What is?”

Speak of the devil, Lan Wangji had come in without anyone hearing. Wei Wuxian had no idea how much he heard, but he turns his expression around regardless. “You’ve been gone forever, Lan Zhan! Where were you?”

“I’ll be leaving.” Jiang Cheng stands abruptly. “I’m leaving tomorrow, I’ll come by before I do.”

“Okay-” He’s gone quickly, leaving the new parents alone. 

“I did not mean to interrupt.” 

“You weren’t interrupting!” Wei Wuxian is trying a bit too hard to act like everything’s fine, so he turns away, trying to calm himself. “We were just talking. We expected you for dinner, there’s a spare bowl.”

“Hm.”

“And uh, the baby… the baby’s fine. He’s slept for most of the afternoon, he’ll probably wake up soon.” 

Lan Wangji sits on the bench outside of their bedroom, his expression pained. 

“Are you okay, Lan Zhan?” 

“I did not know you were so miserable that you wanted to leave me.” His chest feels heavy. “I would never keep you in a place, in a marriage, that you were unhappy in.”

“What— what?! I didn’t— I would never say that! You misheard that conversation!”

“But you are unhappy.” Lan Wangji says, eyes down. “My statement stands. You want to leave.”

“Lan Zhan .” He takes his husband’s hands, knelt in front of him. “I would willingly live in the depths of hell just to be with you.”

“That’s not a good thing, Wei Ying, and you know it isn’t.” He stands, kind of pushing Wei Wuxian away. “You deserve to be happy. That is all I ever wanted.”

“I am happy when I’m with you.” He follows his husband to the nursery where their son is starting to stir. “I had a moment of weakness, I just started blurting out everything.”

“But you still want to go.” 

“Lan Zhan…”

“Is this not enough? What can I give you, how can I help you?”

“You don’t have to do anything! You’re perfect, Lan Zhan.”

“I am sorry. I never should have made you stay here…”

“What? You didn’t make me, I chose—” Again, Lan Wangji leaves the room, heads to their own. “Lan Zhan would you— would you wait ?” 

Finally, Lan Wangji is cornered in their room. He sits on the side of their bed, sighs softly. “Where do you want to go? What can I do to make you happy? Speak truthfully, Wei Ying, as you have with Jiang Wanyin.” 

“I was scared. For a minute, I was scared.” He says, slowly sitting beside his husband. “I thought about what a future might look like for me here if it’s anything like what I’ve endured over the past month. But it won’t be, I know that. I know you wouldn’t allow it.” 

“Have I allowed it recently?”

“Lan Zhan…”

“Be truthful. Please.”

He sighs again, breathes out through his nose. “Well, you know how…” He explains everything again; the letters only congratulating Lan Wangji, the elders who only come to visit the baby, his fears of their son learning about Wei Wuxian technically being against the rules here, and after he goes to retrieve the child in question, Lan Wangji says, “You know there is no rule requiring us to stay here permanently. We can go, Wei Ying.”

“That’s just the problem, Lan Zhan. I’m also afraid of my son growing up without an identity. Stupid, right? Why should I care? He wouldn’t know any better.”

“He will always have an identity. He is your son, that is enough.”

“But it isn’t. I want- I want people to treat him with respect, the kind that comes from being a sect heir. I don’t want him to grow up how I did, being ashamed of who I was and always feeling like I had to prove myself…”

“That was a matter of your adopted family’s parenting, Wei Ying. I, and I know you feel the same, would never let our son feel that way.” 

“You’re right, I never would.” He says, gently stroking the side of their son’s face. “He’s gonna be so loved, all his life.”

“He already is. Yet every day I love him more.” 

He leans into him.

“Do you want to go to Lotus Pier?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you know?”

“It’s going to be awkward, between you and Jiang Cheng. And- and I wouldn’t want to put you in that situation.”

“But you want to go.”

He lowers his gaze. “I feel like, as you said, babies bring people together. This may be my only chance to make some sort of amends.”

“Then you should still go. If you want me to remain here, I will remain here.”

Their son fusses, Wei Wuxian pulls back his robes without another thought. “Let’s see if we can figure out something else before jumping to that, Lan Zhan. I would be even more miserable if you and I had to be apart.” He lies back, suddenly realizing how tired he is.

“You are incredible, Wei Ying. You are brave and strong and you deserve all the recognition in our son’s birth. It is my goal to make everyone else aware of this.”

“I did work hard,” he agrees. “I’m still so tired, Lan Zhan, but I don’t want to rest anymore…”

Lan WangJi holds him, laying kisses at his hairline. Then, he says, “The month is up tomorrow."

“Hmm?” Wei Wuxian is tired, ready to finally fall asleep. 

He laughs softly. “I will tell you in the morning.”

His response is a snore. Lan WangJi pulls the blanket up over his little family and goes to sleep.

Jiang Cheng must be a wizard, for the baby sleeps nearly through the night. 

.

He lets Wei Wuxian sleep in today, which happens to be close to noon. He’s a bit better rested when his former brother comes to see him again. Lan WangJi had been the one to answer the door, giving him a cordial nod before stepping outside. He had already told Wei Wuxian he’d be around if he needed him.

Wei Wuxian has recently bathed, for he smells strongly of an odd blend of citrus and sandalwood, his hair pinned up neatly atop of his head— a new style for him. Partnered with the fine white and blue robes he wears, he looks radiant— elegant. Entirely not Wei Wuxian at all.

“What’s the occasion?” He asks, almost hesitant to get too close.

“Oh, my prison sentence is up today. There’s… a small family banquet to be held this afternoon. Nothing big, I- I begged for nothing big.”

“No, it’s fine. Good, even. I hope it goes well.” Even though it won’t, he knows. Wei Wuxian hates these banquets. Hates their food. Hates this sect. He has to. Who could be happy here? “And keeping a baby quiet during a banquet, that’ll be fun.”

“Oh, he’s going to stay here with his nurse.” Wei Ying clarifies, “It’s not like he’ll be eating anything, and I’d rather keep him away from crowds. Too bad you’ll miss out though, I know how much you love GusuLan cuisine.”

At this, Jiang Cheng can’t help but laugh. “Whatever, Wei Wuxian. You help yourself to as much of that crap as you want.”

“I was actually wondering if you might want to attend, too. At least we could suffer together, right? And it really isn’t that bad if you smuggle in some spices.”

“Oh, I’ll pass on that. I had enough GusuLan food to last a lifetime. But thanks.” He looks past Wei Wuxian, towards the tiny room the sect heir is sleeping in. “But you know, if and when you come to Lotus Pier with him, I’ll have to take you up on the offer.”

Wei Wuxian gives him a genuine smile. Jiang Cheng feels a little better for the time being, thinks he'll be okay here. But it will not last. One day, he will have to leave this place. No one like Wei Wuxian could ever be truly happy in the Cloud Recesses. 

"I'll be taking my leave, then."

"Jiang Cheng? Why are you being so... nice?"

Jiang Cheng pauses, just by the door. "It's what Jie would've wanted. She... would have been the first to visit."