Chapter Text
Everything is dark. It's been dark for a long time.
There's nothing to do but just be. There's nothing beneath or around me, but I don't feel like I'm floating or flying. The air feels strange- not stifled but completely still. I'm not hot or cold, thirsty or hungry, or even tired. I don't even know if I'm wearing clothes, but I'd be more concerned if it wasn't so dark.
I really hope this isn't a joke and the lights come back on with me naked.
Being in a dark space in an unknown location should be scarier, more anxiety-inducing, but I feel calm. Maybe because I freaked out near... the beginning? Did I do that? I don't remember. I'm not entirely sure how much time has passed. I try to think back...
How did I get here again?
"Wait, what is this called again?"
"Mystery Dungeon, Explorers of Sky! It's a side series to the main Pokemon games and it's so good, oh my God!"
I was at the bus stop with a friend, heading back from work and winter was just starting up. They wanted to show me a game they played when they were younger and re-bought it...
"Yeah, I'm not so sure. Not after the Ranger Series..."
"Guh, that's only because you're concerned with the gameplay instead of the characters and stories and music!"
"That is why I play games- if I wanted to listen to music, read a story or look at intriguing characters, I'd use my player, read a book or watch TV. Besides, since when has Pokemon been known for complex characterization?"
"But you're missing out on the best parts!"
I heard them out and while they did have good suggestions for games, they were always more concerned with everything but the actual gameplay. Still...
"You're not going to let this go, are you?"
"If you just play through it just once, I'll take you out to dinner, my treat! And it can be anywhere you want!"
Now that was tempting, considering my favorite restaurant was rather pricey. They never offered such a thing unless they were absolutely certain I'd enjoy the games they picked. Even if I didn't, it was free food being offered and I was too strapped for cash to turn it down.
"Hrmm... if you're really going to beg..."
"YES! Okay, just pop this in and you're good!"
"... what, do you expect me to play it here? It's the bus stop for crying out loud."
"Come on, I wanna see your face when you start playing it!"
"... weirdo. Fine."
The bus was coming in ten minutes- I figured I'd start a new game and get some of the tutorial out of the way.
"How do I skip to the main menu?"
"Just press the touch screen- you're gonna be using it a lot in here."
I got to the menu, skipping the intro, and started a new game.
[Welcome! This is the portal that leads to the world only inhabited by Pokemon. Beyond this gateway, many new adventures and fresh experiences await your arrival! Before your departure, you must answer some questions. Be truthful when you answer them! Now, are you ready? Then... let the questions begin!]
[Did you play Explorers of Time or Explorers of Darkness?]
I didn't know what either of those were and pressed [No.]
[You're daydreaming... when your friend sprays you with water! What do you do?]
... what kind of a question was that? I thought about it for a few moments before pressing [Whoo-hoo, water fight!]
[Do you like Karaoke?]
Depending on the people and songs... most of the time. I pressed [Yes.]
[There's a rumor there's a ghost haunting the bathroom. What do you do?]
Ghosts don't exist and if there was a bet, I'd win money. [Yes.]
[Your friend makes a meal that tastes terrible! They ask, "How is it?" You say...]
Now that has yet to happen and even if it did, I would care more about nutrition than taste and not upsetting whoever had worked to make the meal. [Just smile.]
The rest of the quiz was interesting, though- asking if I wanted to be famous, how I would feel if my friends made plans without me, asking if I ever had an overwhelming urge to flip a light switch. Eventually, I got to the end where the final question was [Are you male or female?]
... well, wasn't that a complicated answer. Still, wouldn't be a Pokemon game without that question. Sun/Moon and USUM were better, just asking what the player looks like.
[And now, your aura will be analyzed. Your aura is the energy you radiate!]
A white bow appeared on the touch screen.
[Relax... calm yourself... and now gently press your fingertip on the Bow.]
The bow pulsated beneath the pressure as the screen told me to inhale and exhale. At least in this start, it definitely interactive. A few moments later, a cobalt blue ribbon appeared on screen.
[Thank you for answering all of those questions. You seem to be... the jolly type!]
"... are you sure you answered them all correctly?"
"You're the one who wanted me to play this."
[You have a good sense of humor and you're compassionate. You're always making those around you laugh. You have a sunny, positive, outlook and you have a vitality that raises the lowest of spirits to giddy heights!]
"Well, in a way, if you look at it from a different angle..."
"Shut up."
[Yet, for all your great cheer, you're also open to tears... but you bounce between laughter and tears so easily! What an adventure life must be for you, bouncing around like that all day!]
"I mean, you were like this when we were in grade-school, so it's technically-"
"Oh my God, do you want me to play or not?"
SCREEEEE-
A truck was skidding on the ice. My friend tried to grab me, but my bag strap caught on the bench-
... oh.
I'm dead then.
Huh.
... I should feel more, but I don't.
My family will miss me- my dad and step-mom, my brothers and sisters... I hope they'll be able to move on. My friend, I hope they're alive, but then they'd see me die. They couldn't save me- they could feel survivor's guilt for it. Please don't, you tried to help me, it was just bad luck- it's not your fault.
I'll never be able to get what I wanted done. I had games to play, stories to write- actual stories, not just fanfiction, drawings to make. I wanted to learn how to drawn shadows and shade. I even wanted to re-enter therapy for my anxiety and paranoia. These weren't grand ambitions, but they were mine.
Oh, who am I trying to kid? I could have gotten it all done, but I was too lazy and apathetic! I couldn't even muster the will to help myself I couldn't bring myself to do anything but watch other people do amazing things!
My body's curling up, my eyes hot and stinging. I wasn't even able to say goodbye to them all- my last interaction with my friend was an argument! My life had barely begun, and now it was over! I was so sure I'd have time to do what I wanted... but if I had known this was how it'd all end-!
Dammit... dammit!
So, is this my punishment? Not doing anything in life, now I can't do anything in death? My teeth grind together, hands clutching at my head as I curl further inward.
How poetic! How fitting!
I try to scream. I want to. But I can't. All I can do is lie there, every scene from my life playing in my head- every missed interaction, every dismissed opportunity, every single damn mistake-!
I can't breath. I literally can't take a breath. I try to move only to find the space has gotten smaller, edges trapping me in this position. I try to feel around, but I can't even do that, there's not enough room! I can feel the panic building, I can't even count my breaths to calm down-
(Gasp!)
Wait... am I breathing? I try to take a gulp of air, but there's so little. I can feel more acutely- whatever's holding me is hard and I can feel something wet around me. It's too much. I try to scream, try to bang on the surface, but I can't even manage that.
Crack
The entire area shakes around me. I wince as light peaks in- wait, light?! There's light! I try to turn to see the source and catch a glimpse of a crack above.
Crack
Another appears and more comes in. I twist and try to push out. I can feel cracks forming around me as I keep moving. My hands and feet push down and out, head smacking against the surface. More cracks appear and suddenly I'm out- the light blinds me, I'm cold and wet, whatever I landed on feels like straw but...
I'm out. I'm not in the darkness anymore. I try to move, but my body feels so weak... and strange. My hands and legs feel smaller, almost stubby. There's a weight on my back/butt and I can't even open my eyes.
Suddenly, I'm picked up and I thrash out of instinct. Who's taking me where?! What's going on?! I can hear growls, murmurs, even chirps above me before I'm set on something warm and soft, wiping the wet stuff off of me. My skin feels so strange, almost like fur.
Something soft wipes at my eyes and I find I can creak them open slowly. The light makes them hurt and all I can make out are blurs. I blink, trying to clear them. I can see something small and gray... with a black hat, a walking mushroom and a blue, naked person.
... I don't know what I'm looking at right now.
But I feel completely drained. I need sleep. Just a reprieve from what I went through. I curl into whatever's underneath me, eyes beginning to close before I see something: a brown fox with a tan mane and brown eyes also about to close their eyes.
Wait.
As I move to my side, the fox does the same. I move my hand, the fox moves it's paw. I move my head, so does the fox. The weird weight shifts behind me and makes the brown fox's tail wiggle.
No, not a fox.
An Eevee.
... oh my god, I'm in some bullshit self-insert scenario/ Isekai Anime protagonist, aren't I. And I'm a Pokemon now... a Pokemon with no opposable thumbs, or hands.
Well... at least I'm not dead?