Archive of Our Own ^beta

"GUESS WHAT, GUYS!" Michelangelo bounded into the living room of the lair. "APRIL BOUGHT ME A LOTTO TICKET!"

Leonardo did not spare him even half a glance. "No one wins those things, Mikey." He flipped the page in his book and settled deeper into the sofa cushions.

"That's not strictly true, Leo. There are lottery winners, but the odds are overwhelmingly against it. Mikey, Leo's got a point. Why're you wasting money on that stuff?" Donatello didn't wait for an answer. He was on hands and knees with a flashlight, fishing something out from under the sofa. “Move your foot, will you, Leo? I know it's under here. I heard it fall.” Leonardo hoisted both legs straight out, but kept reading.

Mikey frowned. How dull can you get? His brothers never got excited about stuff lately—not unless it involved life-or-death-saving-the-world stuff. "You guys are no fun anymore, you know that?" Mikey flopped into the sofa, jostling Leonardo and propping his feet up on Donatello's shell. “This ticket's the ticket to adventure!”

Donatello shoved his brother's feet off his shell casually and sat up. “Pfft,” he huffed and brushed the dust bunnies off his arm and face, “How are five wasted dollars an adventure?” He gestured with the flashlight that Mikey should make room on the sofa. “I found the remote.”

“That's TEN wasted dollars of adventure!” Mikey lunged for the dusty controller in Don's hand.

“Mikey!” Donatello let the remote go. “You're welcome.”

Leonardo turned another page. “Ten dollars? No wonder you're always broke.” He leaned just out of range when Mikey swatted at his head with the lottery ticket.

“Shut up, Leo. S'my money.” Mikey made room on the sofa for Don, intentionally jogging Leo's elbow. “Move over, cushion-hog.” Mikey flicked on the television on just as the lotto picks of the day were coming on and scooted to the edge of the seat, turning the ticket right way up.

Raph quit doing sit-ups hanging upside down on the chin up bar in his doorway. "Face it, Mikey. You just wasted ten bucks. Shoulda had April buy ya some toothpaste."

"Toothpaste? I don't need any more toothpaste. I just got a new tube…"  Mikey frowned up at his brother, just visible along the walkway above.

Raph grinned as he hung there in his doorway. "You sure about that?"

Mikey pulled his attention from the lotto balls for a split second. "Yeah, I'm sur—what could you have done with all that toothpaste?"

Leonardo made a mental note to be on the look out for large accumulations of toothpaste in unexpected places for the next week or so. Don sighed with exasperation, "Whatever you did with it better not clog anymore drains." Raph made no comment, still watching Michelangelo's expression.

Resigned to a glob of toothpaste whenever he least expected it, Mikey shrugged. "Fine. Next time I'll ask fer toothpaste. But STILL! These numbers are as lucky as it gets! I've got faith!"

Don rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever. When we're done with this, I get the remote back, Mikey.” He played the flashlight over the walls of the second story. On Raph's face. Off Raph's face. On Raph's face...

“Knock it off, Donnie...don't make me come down there.” Clearly unimpressed, Donatello flicked the light on Raph a few more times.

Mikey just shook his head. Even Raph's threats were boring and stale. Toothpaste? And 'don't make me come down there?' Please. “Will you guys cut it out? They're drawing numbers.” Mikey elbowed Don. “You make him drop kick you inta the TV, then I won't see what wins.” Donatello shrugged.

Michelangelo jacked up the volume on the television set.  "Today's Lucky Lotto Numbers, for an 28.7 MILLION dollar cash prize are: 7… 11… 13... 42... 53... 89… and the bonus number that seals it ALL… 29!"

Mikey was completely silent.

That alone was strange enough for both Leo and Don to pay attention and Raph to begin to wonder…

In a choked voice, Mikey whispered, "I won." As reality settled in and he re-checked all the numbers, he got louder. "7! 11! 13! 42! 53! 89! AND 29! … HOLY COW! OH MY GOD! I WON!"

Raph flipped off his chin up bar with a healthy amount of skepticism. Mike was an excellent actor, and king of practical jokes. Raph jumped the railing of the second story walkway and crossed the living room. "Lemme see that ticket." To his surprise, Mikey forked it right over without any hesitation. Raph could only stare at the numbers that read across the printed receipt. "…"

Leonardo and Donatello exchanged glances. Raphael was no straight man. His idea of a 'joke' involved lots of noogies or a pocket full of toothpaste. Subtle wasn't really his style. Leonardo stood slowly, marked his place and stood with Raph to examine the ticket. Don followed suit. The three of them clustered around the lottery ticket, passing it back and forth, and confirming that the numbers on the screen were in fact the ones on the paper.

Mikey was the first to break the silence, kicking his feet out and waving his arms wildly, his shell wedged in the couch. "WAAAHOOOOOOOOOO! OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA BUY A SKATEBOARD AND AN XBOX AND A PLAYSTATION 2 AND HALO 2 AND A PONY AND SOME ICE CREAM AND A YACHT AND A SUPERMODEL AND…" He rocked backwards and launched himself forwards off the couch, doing a cartwheel, still yammering away about all the things he could afford. "AND MASTER SPLINTER KIN HAVE A NEW BED AND WE KIN GET A CAR AND I WANT A JET SKI AND A NEW CD PLAYER AND A DVD PLAYER AND A FLAT SCREEN TV AND ANOTHER SUPERMODEL AND…" His somersaulting brought him back to the clot of brothers and he just got quiet as he took a turn holding the ticket.

Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello gawped at each other wide-eyed. Eventually, Raph summed up their feelings, "Well. Damn."

Leonardo could only think of all the basics they could finally afford: new towels and blankets, new mattresses, new furniture, new tatami mats for the dojo, new sparring gear, new punching bags and better balanced shuriken and throwing blades. Master Splinter wouldn't have to suffer through the cold in the winter. They could afford for Donatello to put in a real heating system.

Mikey took off vaulting over furniture again, his list of purchases becoming increasing implausible. "...an elephant and a stock car with my name on it and a well-stocked wine cellar and a maid and an indoor pool with a jacuzzi and my own miniature golf course and a panda and a life time supply of Kit Kats and a record deal and a castle and a ranch and a trip to the Mediterranean and my own island and…"

Donatello slid into an engineer's dream. He could afford all the top-of-the-line equipment that he'd been forced to do without. Proper tools! Proper medical gear! No more dumpster diving for components or disassembling five computers to get enough functional parts to build a single one. He could afford the more expensive chemicals and the more precise tools that would be required for him to actually do studies on mutation at a molecular level.

Raphael knew Leo was already fantasizing about swords and Donatello was spacing out in geek-land, but Raph knew what he'd spend the money on. He wanted a motorcycle, a new bad-ass leather coat, and a new sound system. Maybe they could even get April to help them purchase LAND somewhere. They'd be able to live above ground. Get sun. Get away from the damp and the cold. Splinter could have a garden. If they were dreaming, why not dream big?

After a moment of rapid-fire fantasizing, Donatello put aside his building excitement. "Hang on, can I see that?" Leonardo passed him back the ticket. Donatello looked it over for any sign that Mikey's picks weren't legitimate. Even the date was right. It was today's ticket.

"What? You didn't think it was real, did you? Didn't trust me, huh?" Mikey paused for Don's verdict.

Don blinked, "Well, you have to admit, the odds of this not being a prank are… so infinitesimal, I had to check." He shook his head and addressed Leo and Raph, who were still waiting to hear if this was another Mikey prank. "It's the real deal, guys. Mikey won the lottery!"

Congratulations on the tip of his tongue, Leonardo pulled up short. The VCR had just clicked. Raph noticed Leo's distraction and turned to look. The machine churred out some more clicks, clacks, and thumps, and suddenly the picture on the TV jumped to a different version of the same show that had been on the screen. Don frowned in confusion. That VCR had just been repaired last month! It was only when the tape in the VCR began to rewind, that Don put two and two together.

"…Mikey?"

Michelangelo attempted an innocent expression, but shifted his stance to run, just in case. "Yeah?"

"…You taped yesterday's broadcast of the lottery numbers didn't you?…"

The light came on over Leonardo's head. "Then had April pick the winning numbers from yesterday while she was at the store today…" Mikey took a step back.

Raphael's brow furrowed as he worked the last of it out, "Then you played the tape and pretended to… GET BACK HERE!"

With a squawk of mixed fear and delight, Mikey turned on his heel and took off up the ladder and out into the sewers with his brothers on his heels.

"MIKEY!"

His laughter echoed into the darkness. JACKPOT!