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Chapter Text

  Yiling Patriarch, the 'fearsome' Yiling Laozu,  whose name was Wei Wuxian - was the most cursed and hated man known in the entire cultivation world.

  Wei Wuxian was currently sitting in the Demon Slaughtering cave, hunched over as if the weight of the world was bearing down upon his shoulders.

Wei Wuxian exhaled a shaky breath, sitting upon his stone bed covered with thin blankets. His face was buried in his hands as he cursed at himself not to cry. He did not have the right to feel sorry for himself, to feel such grief. He did not have the right to mourn someone who had never been his to mourn anyway. He could not undo the things that have already been done. 

Shijie….

Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK.

My fault...my fault.

My fault...

This is all my fault. 

How did it turn out like this? 

Why?

Why?!

   Soon, Jiang Cheng and and the others would come, leading a siege upon his doorstep. 

Ah...haha..

What a joke he had become… he wasn't even sure who he was anymore… he felt so lost and didn't know what to do..

   Self-hatred, blame, and disgust churned in his gut. He loathed and found himself utterly despicable. So what if back then, because of giving his core away - that he turned to demonic cultivation? Sure, if he hadn't, he would not be here now. 

   He would be a dead rotting corpse left in Burial Mounds. Without his demonic cultivation, he would not have had the power to help Jiang Cheng or to help with the Sunshot Campaign. He would have been useless.

And yet... and yet….

This is what it has come to.

Everything was his fault in the end…

Wei Wuxian, trapped in his inner musings and self blame, held himself together, nails digging bloody crescents into his own flesh as he sobbed on the floor of the cave, tears falling from his eyes as he rocked himself back and forth.

If not for him, Shijie would still be alive. Jin ZiXuan would still be alive and Jin Ling would not have been orphaned. Wen Ning and Wen Qing… why was it that whenever he sought to help and protect others - it turned out like this?

Maybe, he should have never existed at all…

Maybe the world would have been better off…

Maybe…. Maybe...he could end it all right now…

Yes… that would be best… I'll just-

  "Xian-gege?" 

Wei Wuxian flinched back with a gasp and hurriedly wiped away his tears and clears his throat before placing a big smile upon his face.

"~Ahh, It's my little radish!~ Come, come~" Wei Wuxian calls the the small boy standing at the open mouth of the cave. 

"Xian-gege was crying?" A-Yuan whispered coming up to grasp Wei Wuxian's black robe. 

  Wei Wuxian froze before laughing it off and tapping a finger on A-Yuan's nose. "No, A-Yuan's Xian-gege just had something in his eyes, that's all." He reassured gently once he had picked the boy up and cradled him in his arms. 

   Wei Wuxian nuzzled into A-Yuans neck, tickling the child. A-Yuan squealed and giggled but hugged his little arms around Wei Wuxian's neck. " My A-Yuan's such a good child." He kissed the boy on the forehead.

   "Xian-gege?" A-Yuan asked.

"Mm? Yes, my little radish?" 

  Big clear eyes stared at him. "Can I sleep with you?"

  Wei Wuxian chuckled, "alright, yes. A-Yuan can sleep with Xian-gege." Wei Wuxian carried him to his bed, taking off his outer robe and placing it on the two of them as they lay down.

   Wei Wuxian laid with his back facing the mouth of the cave, shielding A-Yuan with his body and curling around him protectively as the child snuggled into his arms, hugging little arms around his waist.

  "Xian-gege, don't be sad, A-Yuan will stay with you. A-Yuan is here." A-Yuan whispered into Wei Wuxian's chest. 

  Wei Wuxian's throat constricted and he hugged little Wen Yuan tighter. A few tears escaped his eyes when he closed them. 

   A-Yuan, Xian-gege is sorry, but soon...Xian-gege won't be able to be by your side anymore. Xian-gege is sorry for failing you. 

  "Just know that when the time comes, Xian-gege loves A-Yuan very much,"  Wei Wuxian whispered the last phrase into the sleeping child's ear before closing his eyes and falling into a restless slumber.

   ~~♢~~

Two days later, Jiang Cheng came leading cultivators in the siege against him.

  Wei Wuxian was urged by Granny, Uncle Four and the rest of the Wen remnants who all had decided to stay on Burial Mounds to take A-Yuan away and hide him.

Wei Wuxian cradled A-Yuan in his embrace after having reached a good spot, standing before a tree and placing A-Yuan deep inside. 

"No matter who or what you hear, A-Yuan, do not come out. Do you hear me?" He breathed breathlessly, A-Yuan gazing up at him with big confused eyes. Scared.

  "Xian-gege? Xian-gege, I want to stay with you!" A-Yuan teared up, his lips trembling. "Xian-gege don't go! Xian-gege don't leave me!" A-Yuan cried, trying to grip Wei Wuxian's robe. 

   Wei Wuxian have a sad smile. "Xian-gege has to go, A-Yuan, but Xian-gege will come back." 

Tears streamed down A-Yuan's face as he looked up at Wei Wuxian, sniffling. "Xian-gege Promise?" 

Wei Wuxian sighed heavily but nodded, unable to truly promise because...he would not be coming back.

He kissed A-Yuan on the forehead. "Don't worry, A-Yuan, everything is gonna be okay. Xian-gege will be back before you know it. And remember, no matter what you hear - Do not come out. "

  He ruffled his little radishes hair, before turning and briskly walking away, to where the others were no doubt waiting for him. 

A-Yuan kept desperately calling out for him, calling for his Xian-gege, feeling that he would not be able to his Xian-gege ever again.

Wei Wuxian grit his teeth as a tear slipped traitorously from his eye as he strode towards his end.

~~☆~~

"Die, Wei Wuxian!" Jiang Cheng shouted and he pierced his sword through his brother's abdomen, cheers erupted around his from the other cultivators.

Flames and carnage surrounded him, but Wei Wuxian just smiled softly at his former dear shidi ignoring the other cultivators shouting for his death, and while his shidi  may despise him - Wei Wuxian would never fault him for it, he never blamed Jiang Cheng for anything.

No, the only one he blamed was himself. And so… he would simply give Jiang Cheng what he wanted, giving his brother what he so desired. 

Gasps echoed around him as he reached inside his black robes with a smile, his eyes never looking away from his dear brother - who even now- gazed at him with fury and hatred along with the gleam of another emotion Wei Wuxian could not give name to.

"Stop him! He's going to use the seal! Hurry! Don't let him use it!" Everyone shouted anxiously as they fought off the corpse army. 

Wei Wuxian huffed a quiet laugh, the Stygian seal was already in his hands. He raised a hand slowly in the air while pushing Jiang Cheng away from him, forcing the other to pull his sword from.his body.

"Wei Wuxian! Don't you dare!" Jiang Cheng snapped, marching forward again but Wei Wuxian evaded his grasp, still smiling. Jiang Cheng's eyes went wide.

"Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wanyin…" Wei Wuxian's voice was somber and gentle eyes soft, he bowed as much as he could with a bleeding hole in his stomach, to the Sect Leader of Yunmeng Jiang. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… forgive me...." Brother was left as Wei Wuxian whispered those final words. 

He took the seal and broke it, snapping it in half and letting it fall to the ground. 

He stood still with a smile as one by one, the corpses came at him, piling onto him - greedy, hungry, wanting…

It hurt, oh it hurt so much..  too much. It hurt it hurt it hurt…

Still Wei Wuxian smiled even as he wanted to cry, dying inside until he was overtaken and feasted upon, until he could no longer stare at his brother, and until he could no longer gaze upon a bleak sky. 

Until he knew nothing more.

~~●~~

The other cultivators froze in confusion as the corpses they had been fighting suddenly abandoned them for someone else.

"Oh my..." some gasped horribly watching the horrible engrossing sight before them, they stated as the Yiling Patriarch stood with his arms wide open and a soft broken smile as his own undead army descended upon him, savagely tore at his flesh and sank their teeth into the meat and bone of the person who once controlled them. It was gruesomely riveting sight, making the youngest of cultivators unable to stomach such a sight. 

" How terrible .." some whispered, yet thinking, Good riddance.

~~■~~

    He smiled. Why did he smile? Why had he looked at him that way?

Jiang Cheng just stared in a bank daze, the one he come called brother had fallen prey to the mass of corpses and was buried under the frenzy of their feast.

Wait… no… stop… Stop! 

Jiang Cheng snarled, whipping out Zidian and his sword and lashed out at the damn greedy corpses feasting on his brother. He stormed forward slashing, whipping and stabbing at any corpse near him to get to Wei Wuxian. 

This bastard… he knew… he knew… and he had planned this. 

After managing to break through the mound of frenzy corpses piled over his brother. Jiang Cheng froze up as he stared at the sight which greeted him. Wei Wuxian may pale and silent, unmoving. His flesh was riddled with deep bloody bite marks, some of the flesh had been torn away. His brother was still while and in one piece, save for a few very gruesome spots the corpses managed to get a hold of, and the wound through his stomach. 

Jiang Cheng stared at the man lying pale and motionless, and a soft smile on his face. He had still been smiling even… even as he was…

Jiang Cheng clenched his fists, for some reason, when he thought he would feel pride and triumph… instead he felt a deep hollow ache in his chest. His heart wincing pain, pain that he chose to ignore. He didn't want to acknowledge that he… fact he still even dared to…

No. He refused. He refused to acknowledge the deep seated pain his heart and the hollowness seeping into his chest.

Jiang Cheng lifted the limp and lifeless figure of his former brother into his arms, his throat constricting and he ignored the stinging of his eyes as he showed the dead body of the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian.

"Wei WuXian is dead!”

 The rest of the cultivators cheered estacitically. 

After all, the "monster"  was finally dead. 

~~♤~~

  In the aftermath, after everyone had left Burial Mounds and after Young sect leader Jiang decided to carry the body of his dead brother to Lotus Pier, some time later a young man in white flowing robes, wearing a forehead ribbon with cloud motifs on it, his clothes stained with dirt from his journey stumbled into Burial Mounds after hearing the news that the one he kept in his heart has perished. That he was dead.

  Lan Wangji desperately called out for that someone and searched high and low for him, searching every nook and crevice for the one who had stolen his heart from the moment they met years ago when they were young. The other in his black robes and a shining smile, so like the sun. 

Wei Ying  Wei Ying We Ying  Wei Ying 

Wei Ying  Wei Ying !!!!

   No matter how many times he desperately he called out the others name or how much he searched, the one he longed and yearned for would not answer his call and his body could not be found. 

Lan Wangji paused in his search when he heard weak, muffled breathing. His heart leapt into his throat anxiously, his hopes rising. He rushed to the sound.

And froze. He was shocked. The young child, A-Yuan, the one his heart had looked after and adored laid weak from a fever inside a tree, barely clinging to life. 

He was fearful. This was the last piece of the one he cherished in his heart. He pulled the thin sickly child into his arms, swearing that he would raise the child and protect him in place of Wei Ying, who was no more.. 

 Wei Ying….

                         ~~♤~~

Jiang Cheng paced in a room, eyes constantly looking towards the unmoving figure on the bed. 

  He felt angry and hateful, bitter and yet his felt sadness and pain...hurt he didn't want to feel over a dead man that now lie in the room, the same man he once considered a brother. The same man he blamed for his family's death. 

  He had his healers use their spiritual energy to heal his brother's wounds, and sometimes using his own spiritual energy. It was also to keep his brothers body from breaking down and decaying. 

  Jiang Cheng should have left the body to rot, yet he couldn't. So here he was with his brothers dead body, his clothes replaced by clean ones, his wounds all closed up. It simply looked as if Wei Wuxian wasn't dead at all but sleepy with a smile on his face, as though he was dreaming. 

  He had some of his disciples discreetly look for books on preserving bodies, as crazy as it sounded. Jiang Cheng felt obsessed and off balance. He was so lost. 

And alone.

  He looked around Wei Wuxian's old room, the very same room his brothers body laid in, the very same room Jiang Cheng was standing in now. 

  Jiang Cheng clenched his fists, closing his eyes to draw in a shaky breath. 

He hated Wei Wuxian! He despised him!

And yet.. And yet…

Jiang Cheng glared at his brothers unmoving figure that just lay peacefully and marched out of the room that seemed to be stealing his oxygen. 

  As long as Wei Wuxian was not moved from his room, his body would not rot or decay - it would be like Wei Wuxian was only sleeping or in acoma, thanks to the spell Jiang Cheng found looking through some very ancient books. It's a spell forgotten and probably not used by many, luckily enough there were no serious requirements or backlashes. 

   Jiang Cheng took gave another glance towards his brothers room before turning to walk away.

Chapter Text

It took months for the cultivation world to recover from Siege at Burial Mounds.

 The cultivation world has tried many methods to reach Wei Wuxian's soul to see if he would return one day and seek revenge, but to no avail. Their efforts were always fruitless. 

  The Jiang Sect would be holding a gathering, a Discussion Conference to discuss future possibilities of the Yiling Patriarch's return to the world of the living, and what they should do if the need arises, many were restless and worried. 

All cultivators thought their peace was well-earned without the Yiling Patriarch to spread his evil around the world. They wanted to make sure nothing would happen in the future.

The world was better off without that man, after all.

~~●~~

  Jiang Cheng paced. He had already invited the other sects to his so he could just turn them away. He glanced at the Yiling Patriarch's still figure, as always - seeming like he was resting instead of being the dead man that he was. None of the sects knew what he had done with his brothers body, they simply figured he buried the man somewhere or destroyed his body. 

  A disciple knocked on the door. 

"What is it?" Jiang Cheng snapped. 

"Sect Leader, the guests have arrived." 

Jiang Cheng pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance and frustration. "Alright, go on then." 

He gave one one last glance at his brother before leaving his room.

The others could not find out about this, Jiang Cheng already warded the room with talismans and made sure the door as locked before rushing to meet his guests.

  ~~●~~

"Did you bring the sword?" Jiang Cheng inquired to the Jin Sect Leader about Wei Wuxian's sword Suibian. It never belonged in their possession anyway so Jiang Cheng made sure to ask for it back and not give them any room to back out. Jin Guangshan seemed reluctant but still had one of the disciples hand the sword back. 

Jiang Cheng nodded his thanks, not wanting to be rude but he didn't really have anything to say to Jin Guangshan. He never liked the other man. Jiang Cheng excused himself to put the sword away in a safe place. 

Sect Leader Nie from the Qinghe sect along with some of his members, Sect Leader Lan Xichen with his uncle Lan Qiren along with a few elders and west members, Sect Leader Jin Guangshan along with Jin Guangyao and some of their members and other sects that had come to join in all sat in their respective places to sit from Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng let out a nervous breath after placing the sword in his brothers room before leaving and closing the door again hurrying back to the guests.

Jiang Cheng sat down and his seat and they started the discussion. The hall was loud from many voices talking at once.

Then something unexpected happened.

Immersed in their discussion, no one noticed right away that black flute Chenqing mounted on the wall had begun to swirl with resentful energy. The energy quickly spread around the room, around the cultivators.

There were gasps around the room at the large mass of resentful energy suddenly surrounding them.

"What's going on?" Voices cried.

"What's the meaning of this?!" Others echoed.

They then noticed the black flute Chenqing mounted on the wall, and the resentful energy was very thick coming from it.

Jiang Cheng went to grab the damned thing but it lashed out at him. He scowled.

The others made to try to leave after trying to use their spiritual powers to push back the resentful energy. Even the Gusu Lan clan were struggling against it, their spiritual powers over taken by the resentful energy. 

  Those who had tried to leave found themselves unable to were trapped in. 

No one could leave.

"We can't leave! We're trapped!" Many voices all shouted out, turning to look at one another in apprehension.

"Calm down, you lot. The resentful energy isn't even attacking us. We will all get to the bottom of this. You are cultivators are you not? Show some backbone and stop panicking." Jiang Cheng griped and rolled his eyes, though he too felt wary.

The energy still prevent them from leaving, swirling into the center of them room and smoky visual projection began to display itself. Everyone froze, shocked and entranced as they watched it play.

____________________________________________

 "A-Ying, stay here and be a good boy for mommy and daddy, we will return soon alright?"

"Mn, Okay!" The boy smiled brightly up at the figure, big grey eyes sparkling. 

"And no matter what, remember the promise you made Mommy?"

"Mmmhmm. Always remember the good others do for you, but not the good you do for others! Oh, and always keep smiling no matter what!!" The boy stated matter-of-factly. 

There was the tinkling sound of soft laughter that rang in the young child's ears, making him bursting with happiness. "A-Ying is such a good child. Mommy loves you." 

A deep chuckle sounded, "Alright Cangse, we should leave. We will be back, Wei Ying. Our A-Ying will be a good boy, yes?"

"The best! A-Ying will be very good!!"

He received to kisses on each side of his cheeks and waved enthusiastically at his Mommy and Daddy who were leaving.

He knew they would come back. They always kept their promises. So he would wait like a good boy for his parents to return.

He trusted them. They would come back, as they always did and then they could all go on another journey together.

Little Wei Wuxian giggled excitedly.

He couldn't wait.

_____________________________________________

The cultivators from the other sects were shocked and confused. Jiang Cheng even more so, eyes wide and staring at the images he had just seen that had been projected by resentful energy which seeped from Chenqing, his brothers ghost flute. 

These were memories, his brother's memories to be exact.

So… Chenqing had a will and mind enough of its own like his master's other weapon - his sword, Suibian, with lingering sentiments for its master and had trapped them all and they were being forced to watch the memories. 

Although strong and thick, the resentful energy did not seek to harm or kill but only to stop them from leaving and to force them to witness the memories that lingered from a soul that had long ago been condemned and turned against.

Jiang Cheng stared ahead, throat tight, hands clenched in fists.

Lan Xichen felt a sensation prick at his heart after seeing the scene of a young Wei Wuxian, and listening to the words he spoke so cheerily that actually carried a heavy weight. 

Lan Qiren just sighed and shook his head, not knowing how to feel, the young boy he just saw… and the man he blamed and hated…. Wei Wuxian was and always would be a scourge and a monster of the cultivation world. 

 Nie Huaisang quietly chuckled to himself at how adorable Wei-xiong was as a child. Nie Mingjue looked at his younger brother with a frown but  felt removed the situation thus far, he had never known the teen his younger brother had been friends with. 

The other cultivators all felt strange, wanting to be appalled and disgusted, because the man they knew as the Yiling Patriarch was an evil villain in their eyes. And seeing the same villain who was once an innocent child… was absolutely out of the question. They refused to let their hearts be softened. 

The resentful energy twisted, shifting into more scenes of memories. The crowd of cultivators watched, entranced.

____________________________________________

  Wei Wuxian waited.

And waited… and waited. Many days passed but his parents hadn't returned. 

The owner of the Inn he had been left at grew irritated that the brat's parents had not come to get him yet. The boy could not stay.

  Wei Wuxian looked up at the owner glaring down at him and flinched. 

"Your parents left you, kid, and it doesn't look like they are coming back. You can't stay here anymore, so go on, shoo - get out of here!" The owner snapped, trying to usher the boy out

"But.. but… they said they would come back! I know they will! Please don't make me leave! Please, mister! I know they wouldn't leave me!" Big grey eyes shimmered with unshed tears as Wei Wuxians lips trembled. He tried to wriggle out of the man's hold as he was thrown outside on the ground.

"Mister! Mister! Please!" Wei Wuxian scrambled to his feet. The owner shut the door in his face. 

Wei Wuxian stood alone in the middle of the street, sniffling. "Nnn. I promised to be a good boy...don't leave me… Mommy.. Daddy… please come back… I won't cry anymore! I will smile… so please come back!!" The small boy cried. 

But his parents never came back. 

~~<☆>~~

   More days passed. Wei Wuxian struggled day by day. Vendors chased the boy away. Things were thrown at him. Dogs would chase him for the meager scraps of food he barely managed to obtain. He would always get beaten and kicked while he was down. He once clean clothes became torn and caked with dirt and grime, his formerly fresh appearance worn and exhausted. His small cheeks were slightly hollow, his thin skin clinging to his boned desperately as he strived to survive each day.

If he saw any other hungry children like him, starving while barely managing to make it through the day, he would give them whatever good he had.

He still never cried.

He always smiled, he never stopped smiling. 

Wei Wuxian sat huddled in an alley, clothes full of holes and dirty, shivering from the cold that kept stealing the small warmth from his body. He hugged himself, trying to stay warm.

Suddenly, he glanced up the moment another young boy had come to stand in the alley, dressed in white clothes wearing a forehead ribbon. A toy in his hands. 

The two children stared in awe at the other. The boy in white offered him the toy silently. Wei Wuxian stared at the other with big grey eyes, hesitating a moment before taking the offered toy, and gifting the boy a big sunny smile. 

Wei Wuxian watched the other boy leave but he was in awe over the toy the other had given him. His smile became even brighter than the sun. A soft, happy feeling bubbles inside him despite everything. In that moment, in his young mind, it was enough. 

_____________________________________________

     The crowd of cultivators all trapped together each wore different expressions. 

The other young child, had that not been the Young Second Master Lan???

Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren were shocked. 

Lan Qiren had taken both the young brothers out for a trip and he had had no idea about any of this happening…

They both had met so young but neither remembered the time from then? 

However, the viewing of memories were not done.

They were far from over. They were only beginning. 

____________________________________________

 Wei Wuxian ran frantically, quick puffs of breath escaping his lips as he ran.

Vicious growls and barks of a pack of hungry dogs chased  and nipped at his heels.

Wei Wuxian yelped as he fell forward after tripping over a rock.

He hurriedly scrambled to his feet, terror coursing through his body at the dogs close behind. He quickly resumed running, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. 

'Please, please don't let them catch me!' 

He thought, glancing backward again, the dogs hunted him, snarling as they chased after their prey. No one stopped to help him, so Wei Wuxian bit his lips to keep from crying out for help.

He didn't want burden anyone.

'Stay away, stay away, stay away! Leave me alone! Please'  He chanted in his mind desperately, fear still still coursing through his veins. 

He highs into his food for dear life. He ran around a corner, into an alleyway.

A dead end.

Wei Wuxian shrieked, swiftly backing up and away from the pack of dogs baring their teeth with hungry, vicious growls deep in their throats.

They cornered him.

Wei Wuxian trembled, forcing his tears back, press himself as far away from.the dogs as he could.

The dogs crept closer and closer, saliva dripping from their canines as they snapped their muzzles and barked.

Wei Wuxian screamed as they pounced on him.

'Go away! GO Away! "GET OFF ME! GO AWAY!" He yelled, shrieking and trying to pull himself away but the just dug their teeth deeper into his skin, biting at him and the food in his grasp, snatching it away.

"NO!! THAT'S MINE !!! GIVE IT BACK" Wei Wuxian screamed, telling himself not to cry -

'Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!'

Wei Wuxian pulled and twisted, trying to kick and hit the dogs away and get them off him!

Wei Wuxian couldn't take it, he broke down screaming, tears escaping his big grey eyes.

"Stop! STOP! GO AWAY! GET AWAY FROM ME!!" He screamed.

A sharp whistle sounded and a flash of light caught Wei Wuxians eyes. 

The dogs yelped, scrambling away and out of the alleyway. 

Wei Wuxian stared at the figure before him, sniffling and rubbing his eyes. 

A tall man in purple bent down with a gentle smile. 

"It's alright, little one. They are gone now. Can I ask your name, child?" The man kept a gentle smile as he asked the boy softly.

"A-Ying's name is Wei Ying!" Wei Ying burst out cheerily. 

The man's eyes widened in shock. "Wei Wuxian? A-Xian? Wei Ying?"

Wei Wuxian looks at him curiously, "You know my name?"

The man smiled once more. "Yes, A-Xian. My name is Jiang Fengmian. Your parents were very close friends of mine. A-Xian, would you like to come with me and get cleaned up, and some food to eat?" 

Wei Wuxian stared at him, unsure and hesitant. 

There was the sudden sound of a certain growling sound in the silence. 

Wei Wuxian looked up sheepishly with a smile at the tall gentleman in purple, and he nodded. He felt he could trust this man. He seemed kind and he knew his name, and the man said he knew his parents. 

Wei Wuxian felt a little sad, he knew his parents were not coming back for him and he didn't want to be alone any more. It was lonely and too scary.

He didn't want to stay hungry, scrounging for food. He didn't want to have to sleep on the cold ground with no shelter. He knew homes with roofs were very important. 

So this was okay, right?

He was allowed, right? 

He could trust this man, right?

Wei Wuxian bit his lips, Wei Wuxian decided then, studying the tall man.

He would trust him.

Wei Wuxian mustered up the biggest smile he could. "Mm, ok, mister."

The man chuckled. "Uncle, A-Xian. Call me Uncle. Now, let's go get you patched up and cleaned." 

Wei Wuxian's eyes sparkled happily. "Okay, Uncle Jiang!!" 

The two left the alley together. 

Wei Wuxian got his wounds cleaned and patched up, dressed in new clothes, clean from dirt, blood, and grime. Jiang Fengmian asked if Wei Wuxian would like to come to Lotus pier.

Wei Wuxian was happy and he agreed.

This was how he came to be at Lotus Pier. 

_____________________________________________

   Everyone found themselves strangely awed and moved. Jiang Cheng was just staring in a daze and trembling. Overcome with emotion, his own and all of Wei Wuxian's emotions that had just poured through him.

Nie Huaisang his a soft smile behind his fan, glancing over at Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao. He sneered at the blatant disgust on Jin Guangshans face. 

Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren were slightly shaken, but Lan Qiren refused to budge on his view of the accursed and deceased Yiling Patriarch.

The memories continued, the crowd of cultivators were immersed in them. 

They watched a young Jiang Cheng chase off a young Wei Wuxian with the threat of dogs.

They watched as the terrified boy hid high in a tree until he was coaxed to come down by a calm, and gentle young Jiang Yanli.

_____________________________________________

Wei Wuxian sniffled, clinging to a tree branch as recalled the Jiang Chengs words and the threat of dogs.

 He shivered. He hated dogs. 

"A-Xian?" A young sweet voice called out for him. "A-Xian?" 

Wei Wuxian tried to quiet his sniffling.

And the the small figure of Jiang Yanli stood under the tree with a bright lantern in her hand, bright against the surrounding night. "There you are, A-Xian. I was worried." She has a gentle smile.

"Its isn't safe, A-Xian, please climb down from there," Jiang Yanli opened her arms, "please, A-Xian. A-Cheng didn't mean any of it. He was just upset. Please come down."

"No! He said he would have his dogs chase me!" Wei Wuxian cried, afraid and trembling.

"A-Xian, there are no dogs. I promise. A-Cheng didn't mean it. He came and asked me to help find you. It's alright, A-Xian. Everything's alright, so won't you please come down for your Shijie?" She spoke kindly, patiently, smiling at the shaking boy in the tree, "Climb down now." 

Wei Wuxian hesitated, worried and anxious, sniffling from crying.

He stared down at the smiling gentle presence of Jiang Yanli.

He gulped, before squeezing his eyes closed, and started to climb down.

He was close to the bottom when he slipped.

The quick sensation of falling rushed through him before he felt arms catch him, breaking his fall.

"I've got you, A-Xian. Let's go home."

Wei Wuxian was carried on her back, holding onto her for dear life, his tears subsiding. He felt warmth circulating in his chest. 

Crying sounded in the night and they followed the sound to find a young crying Jiang Cheng.

"A-Jie!" Big fat tears rolled down Jiang Chengs cheeks. Jiang Yanli helped her brother out of the ditch he had fallen in.

"A-Cheng, I told you to wait for me, that I would bring him back." Jiang Yanli sighed, but hugged her brother when he held on tightly to get neck.

She carried both her brothers on the way home. 

With some encouragement, Jiang Cheng apologized.

"I'm sorry! I lied! There were no dogs...I ..I..." Jiang Cheng looked down. "I didn't mean what I said," he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Wei Wuxian blinked, before showing a huge grin. "Its fine, fine! It's okay." 

Jiang Cheng relaxed, smiling cheekily speaking out, "Don't worry, from now on, I'll keep the dogs away!" He declared solemnly. Wei Wuxian gave him another bright smile.

Jiang Yanli chuckled. "What am I going to do with you two?" She chided fondly.

Both boys just looked at the other and giggled.

The atmosphere was harmonious as they continued the way home.

 ~~■~~

Time passed and seasons changed, Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli grew together and became closer. Wei Wuxian had become head disciple and always garnered Madam Yu's bitter ire. She would put her son and the "servants  son" against each other always comparing them and making them both in her own way. Madam Yu did love her son and daughter, but she was bitter in heart and it showed. 

Any comments towards him, Wei Wuxian simply swept under the rug. Or so everyone thought they saw and believed. 

He took the words to heart secretly and never muttered any complaints. If it were Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli being looked down on and badmouthed - he would instantly refute it. He never allowed anyone to talk bad about his Shiji or his Shidi. 

Wei Wuxian became a young promising lotus flower that refused to wilt, flourishing and brilliantly bathing itself in the sun.

  ____________________________________________

   Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren felt something peculiar thrum inside their hearts watching the young Wei Wuxian grow up, feeling what he felt and seeing through his eyes. 

  The boy indeed had been a prodigy, and he had a heroic and chivalrous heart under that mischievous demeanor. And yet for him to become a monster as he had in the end…

Lan Qiren had never liked the boy for being too wild, free-spirited, and carefree. He was shameless and a rule breaker who loved and created chaos wherever he went.

Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao were not moved. Their disciples and the rest of the crowd of cultivators refused to let go of their hatred for the villainous Yiling Patriarch. 

To them, he was and is still a monster. One that they were happy was dead and gone. 

Gasps of shock and fear echoed as the resentful energy thickened swirling, all eyes suddenly drawn to the black flute hanging on the wall.

Black tendrils danced and swirled, the black flute Chenqing disappeared in the thick dark cloud of energy.

The crowd of cultivators simply stared at the large black ball of energy, enthralled, and full of wariness.

What's going on?

What is this?

The dark energy dispersed, fading away until a pale delicate like figure dressed in a feather-light weight, black silky robe tied at the waist with a red ribbon. A black choker collaring his neck with a blood red tassel hanging from it.

  The figure's white jade-like skin looked creamy and pale, almost near translucent. Long, elegant pale bare legs peeked out from beneath the black robed attire that came to a stop around the upper middle part of the thighs. The figure was also barefooted.

  What was even more striking was the oddly pale, crimson red eyes with long black eyelashes framing them, the eyes matching pale red lips, and the straight glossy black hair that fell down the figures back past the lower base of the spine, reaching down to the upper thighs. 

   The cultivators flinched under the weight of the judgment that came from the heavy red gaze directed at them. 

"Hmph. Were you all not taught that it's rude to stare?" A soft melodic voice spoke in the silence. "If you haven't deduced yet, allow me to make a clear introduction for you lot of hypocritical humans. I am Chenqing. And yes, I am that Chenqing," The melodic voice spoke and continued, "many of you know me as Master's 'Ghost Flute' Chenqing. And yes, Wei Wuxian is my master." Red eyes shone brightly.

"I would say it's a pleasure to meet you all, but… well… that would lie." Chenqing sneered.

"Impossible!" Cries of dismay echoed.

"How dare you speak to us like that?!" 

"How is this possible?!" 

The cultivators kept shouting out. 

Chenqing walked with languid ease and grace, and plopped himself in a comfortable place to sit, leaning back against the wall and crossing his bare legs, deigning to look back at the cultivators.

"I don't have to answer to any of you. You can shout your grievances all you'd like, that's what all of you do the best at anyway. Pretentious and fake, always putting your titles above all else. 

   I find that most humans are despicable. All you want to do is harm each other and have petty squabbles. Self-righteous, sanctimonious, greedy… honestly… the list of things I have to say about you all...goes on and on." Chenqing huffed, "acting entitled, just because you believe it should be so, you think and believe you deserve the right to obtain immortality, as all you cultivators like to put it." He sighed, glancing up at the shocked cultivators. 

Their faces were white and stony with wariness and anger. 

Lan Qiren looked as though he were about to have a stroke.

 Chenqing's lips curved into a slight smile as he rested his chin in his hand as he stared at them all.

"You have so much to see, I have so much to show you and we have things to talk about. Now, shall we really begin?" Chenqing spoke softly, his voice singing in the silence. 

All the cultivators were currently speechless, even Nie Mingjue was silent with shock.

Chenqing snickered at their expressions as he leisurely began picking at his nails in an idle, uncaring manner. 

Chenqing felt he himself, who was normally quite quiet and not involved in the affairs of humans, you could even call him docile, even as a flute he felt he had a quiet and shy shy personality. But he'd had enough of these damned cultivators. 

They drove his kind, lively, heroic and free-spirited Master to his death.

He would not forgive them. 

The cultivators felt a chill crawl up their flesh, and they stiffened at the ominous feeling permeating the room. They could feel the seething rage and distaste from Chenqing towards them.

Nie Huaisang hid his face behind his fan, and shivered.

Lan Xichen couldn't stop the shiver that ran over his body.

Chenqing's gaze seared into them, zeroing in on Lan Xichen with piercing red eyes, resentful energy dancing around his form. 

"Lan Xichen, yes? First Twin Jade of Gusu Lan?" Chenqing inquired.

Lan Xichen blinked. "Ah, yes."

"Well, then. Send notice to the Second Jade, Lan Wangji, you can ask it by letter. And make sure he gets it. He shouldn't be missing out on the fun. Although,  he is certainly far better and more righteous than the rest of you. I like him more that's for certain." Chenqings lips curled in disdain. 

Lan Xichen but his lip, worried but nodded. "Very Well." 

Lan Xichen sighed in his heart, feeling for his younger brother. He knew how his brother felt for Wei Wuxian, and it was only right that he should be present if they were discussing him. 

Chenqing turned his red gaze to stare at Jiang Cheng who had been glaring at him silently the whole time, so unlike him.

Chenqing gave him a mysterious smile. Jiang Cheng's heart leaped in anxiousness but he only grunted, "hmph," turning to look away and glaring childishly. Chenqing knew his late master's body was hidden in his room. But he did not call out the Jiang Sect Leader.

Things were going to get interesting.

Chapter Text

   Chenqing sat peering at all cultivators in the room. His pale red gaze moved to rest on Lan Xichen for a moment.

 "Did you send the letter?"

"Yes," Lan Xichen replied, his tone full of worry for his brother.

Chenqing sighed, rolling his eyes. "No need to fret, young Sect Leader Lan. No harm will befall your younger brother at my hands - that I can solemnly vow." Chenqing's gaze was serious.

   Chenqing then wondered...how would that Lan Wangji react if he knew his Master's body was here at Lotus Pier…

Maybe it was best he didn't find out that tidbit just yet…

Lan Wangji - Chenqing heard from the whispers that the resentful energy picked up from the wind and surroundings - had still called for his Master's soul, many months after his death. It had already been a year and a few months and the man had still.....

Chenqing admired the man's will to keep calling for a soul that might.....that might never answer.

The other had a right to be here for what he was about to show the rest of the cultivators and Chenqing would not confine him - not trap him, forcing him to stay..oh no.. He would allow Lan Wangji to decide - the man was owed that much.

Chenqing felt he deserved to see and know the truth, if Lan Wangji wished and could endure it. 

The crowd of Cultivators were terrifyingly quiet while Chenqing mused. 

It was awkward to say the least, none of them liked the situation, at all.

A young cultivator from the Lanling Sect, a Jin Sect member spoke up.

"This is the Jiang residence, and yet...Sect Leader Jiang, Why are you allowing this.. this thing - a tool -  to act like he owns the place and is in charge? Doesn't that make you lose face?"

Chenqing blinked his eyes owlishly slow, staring at the cultivator who spoke. "You really must be a fool...you are still able to speak of  matters such as 'saving face' in such a predicament you are in but why is it your concern and business with what Jiang Wanyin does? Or what I do? Who do you think you are?" 

Chenqing looked at the young Jiang Sect Leader, "What do you think, Jiang Wanyin? Ah, you must agree I suppose. I am using your home after all. My apologies for the disrespect. If Master was alive and knew...about what I could do.. And how I have acted towards you - he would certainly scold me." Chen Qing forlornly sighed.

Jiang Cheng snorted at that. "Oh, really?"

Chenqing glared and bared his teeth, standing up from his seat to march over to the purple clothed man. 

"Yes, really." Chenqing spoke darkly. "You dare doubt Master… and yet you… who… hmph. Master cared for you and your sect, for Lotus Pier and you act like this…" Chenqing trailed off, "You know nothing…but just wait. Wait and see ." 

Jiang Cheng sneered, twisting the ring of Zidian on his finger and glaring at Chenqing.

      Chenqing revealed a wide grin, baring his teeth again. "Oh, is Sect Leader Jiang going to attack me?" He looked out from under his eyelashes, that smile still on his face. "By all means, I can fight a couple rounds or more. Ahh, but then...we'd be destroying such a beautiful place and… as much as you may want to attack me - you don't at the same time. You won't.

   You want to know something else? In Nightless City...between Lady Yanli and Master...and you. Those events, you know what happened, you know the truth you saw then with your own eyes and yet you still blamed Master and he accepted the blame. Did you know that..by doing so, blaming him for Lady Yanli's death - your spitting on your sister's memory? She loved him as much as she loved you, as family - just without blood ties. You take after your mother, using your anger and bitterness to hide behind like a coward. 

    Lady Yanli still cared for Master while you turned your back and spat on him. Hating him for her choice. Her decision. She chose to shove him out of the way, to shield him - to save him . And you shame the memory of her by blaming him for that incident. 

     Master didn't need your blame when he already blamed himself and hated himself more than you ever could. And yet...when you knew nothing… blinded by your own rage and vendetta…" Chenqing breathed, trailing off again, pausing before he continued, "you know that when you led the siege against him that led to his death - Master's death......you spat on your sister's sacrifice? Her sacrifice for him to live."

Jiang Cheng became paler and paler, but Chenqing continued, all his emotions pouring out in this tirade as he berated the young Jiang Sect Leader.

Chenqing's red eyes glared vehemently he tore down Jiang Cheng with his words and Chenqing let out a few sharp thunderous claps. "Well done, Jiang Wanyin, well done," Chenqing replied in a snarky-sardonic tone, adding a mocking smile with his next words, "You should be proud."

Jiang Cheng swallowed, face turning white to purple to white again, emotions rampaging through him. There were so many things he felt he wanted to say but they refused to leave his lips. 

Chenqing wasn't done by any means, with any of them. 

I am not done with any of you yet, not by far.

Chenqing turned a piercing gaze into the Lanling Sect, on Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao, who was so desperate for that worthless man's approval.

Chenqing sneered to himself watching the two converse, trying to find a way out no doubt - scheming against him. Hmph. No one could leave or enter unless he allowed it.

  Let them be brazen enough to try, then Chenqing would not hold back.

                                ~~●~~

Lan Wangji sat inside the Jingshi, going over papers. His back was straight, and his back still ached with pain from the lash marks. 

  It had been months since he heard of Wei Ying's death, since the night he had found out after the fact and was unable to save the man he loved, unable to be there for him. 

Lan Wangji shuddered, tears stinging downcast golden eyes as he remembered that dreadful night his world had collapsed and he had done nothing to prevent it. 

He was grateful he had found A-Yuan, who was now known as Lan Yuan, Lan Sizhui. The boy was thankfully unburdened by his past; without weight of his memories. 

It hurt somewhat, that Sizhui could not remember the man known as Wei Wuxian to the world, and Wei Ying to Lan Wangji.

It hurt. Oh, did it hurt. 

Lan Wangji's heart ached thinking about the soul he had called for so many times with Inquiry, yet never receiving and answers to his pleas. He had played Inquiry everyday after his duties, after Wei Ying had died and after his wounds had healed on back.

His Inquiry was never answered by the one he wished would answer it the most.

Wei Ying's death left a hollow space inside him that refused to be filled. 

Lan Wangji paused, glaring down with trembling lips, with his hands shaking and he clenched them into fists as he tried to pull himself back from that edge.

The windows were open slightly and it was evening but Lan Wangji had the urge to play Inquiry once again before Lan Sizhui would come by. 

He sat in the Jingshi, holding his guqin, Wangji. He caressed the strings before strumming them with familiarity.

Do you know Wei Ying?

He would ask souls nearby.

Wei Ying, are you there? Wei Ying, please answer me.

He would plead.

Wei Ying 

Wei Ying 

Wei Ying

Wei Ying

Over and over, Lan Wangji's heart would chant his name, he strums until his fingers bled.

Over and over he asked souls of that knew him or knew where he could be..

It never worked.

He never found the answers to his pleas...

" HanGuang-Jun?" A small childishly timid voice called from outside the Jingshi.

Lan Wangji stood and let the young boy in.

Lan Sizhui looked up at him with a small shy smile.

"Mn, what is it?" Lan Wangji inquired curiously. "Studies?"

Sizhui's eyes widened, shaking his head. "Fine. Uncle Xichen … I mean -" He started to panic. Lan Wangji pat the child's head. "It is fine in private." 

     Lan Sizhui's eyes widened in happy surprise, stuttering, "- F-Father.." he bashfully looked away, with a small relieved smile before handing Lan Wangji a letter, and while it said it was addressed to Sizhui, it seemed otherwise. A note was inside with the letter, instructing Sizhui to hand the letter to him. 

 Lan Wangji opened the letter, reading it.

        - Dear Wangji,

     I hope you are well and that Sizhui is doing well. 

   Uncle and I are fine, so do not worry - despite some matters - I am certain things will turn out alright. Uncle and I, along with the other cultivation sects are at Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin's residence and there have been...some interesting ...developments. It was requested that you come join us. Wangji… it has to do with young Master Wei's memories and Chen Qing, young Master Wei's flute.

   If I could, little brother, I would try to shield you from this.. in the end it is ultimately your decision, and I know your choice. I know you will want to come see for yourself.

  I will see you soon, Wangji.

      With love,

          Xichen. 

  He froze up, golden eyes widening with every word, fingers trembling as his lips shivered mutely. 

  A few tears dropped down, splashing the letter and trying to smear the ink. 

Lan Wangji squeezed his eyes closed trying to calm himself. He breathed.

In and out, he stood, breathing. After he regained his composure, he stuffed the letter into his robes and turning to look down at a small worried Sizhui.

 "Father… is everything okay?" The child gripped his robes, looking up at him worriedly. 

  Lan Wangji's heart softened. "Mn. Must go. Will be back soon." He patted the child's head gently, "Study well." Lan Wangji murmured. 

    Lan Sizhui grinned up with sparkling eyes, "Yes, HanGuang-Jun..I mean ..Father.." the boy blushed, Lan Wangji nodded and the young boy scurried off.

Lan Sizhui was always a good child, and it made Lan Wangji proud.

He hoped that wherever Wei Ying was, he was proud too.

                               ▪○•♤•○▪

   Chenqing drummed his fingers along his knee.

  He was quietly waiting, eyes closed to rest, but he was still fully aware of his surroundings.

 He snickered to himself, listening to the cultivators chat amongst themselves animatedly. He wondered if they would try anything if they believed he had let his guard down. 

  He did not care to listen to what they said to each other, he muted them to meaningless chatter in his ears. 

  The had word from Lan Xichen that Lan Wangji Would have gotten his letter the other day. 

  Chenqing new that the other would be arriving very soon. 

   A tingling sensation ran across his senses.

Ah, that was sooner than I expected. The other must have rushed over as soon as possible.

Good. Then we can get started.

  Chenqing turned to Jiang Cheng. "The new guest has arrived, since this is your place after all, you don't mind bringing him here do you?"

  Jiang Cheng scowled but after the berating he had gotten from Chenqing. For a spiritual, instrumental tool, a weapon - Chenqing was quite powerful.

  Not only that...the berating Chenqing had given him had sucked out all his venomous fury and energy...because deep down…. He knew the other was right.

 And that was what hurt the most. 

Deep down he still thought of Wei Wuxian as his brother. 

  The man himself, his brother's body was currently hidden away at Lotus Pier, inside the room Jiang Cheng had rebuilt exactly the way it had been, before Lotus Pier was burned to the ground.

  His brother's old room. 

He always kept in it perfect condition, waiting for his brother's return...just not like this…

Why did it turn out this way?

It hurt... deeply… more than Jiang Cheng and thought possible.

What would A-Jie think?

Hmph. Jiang Cheng turned and left to go get the Second Jade without a word, he refused to look Chenqing in the eyes.

He couldn't. He wasn't ready to face the whole truth… 

                                   ~●●●~

But Chenqing wasn't going to let anyone off easy…

Chenqing's glittering red gem-like eyes met cold golden ones. 

"Hello, HanGuang-Jun. It's a pleasure to meet you. Your brother can fill you in on more details before we dive in and get started."

                                《>○<》

  Indeed, Chenqing wasted no time in getting things started after he was sure Lan Xichen had filled his younger brother in more about what was going on.

    "Now, I am going to do a little bit of fastforwarding you could say...speeding things up a tad bit."

  The resentful energy at.the center of the room where all all cultivators say around, twisting and swirled, forming images. 

  Lan Wangji sat next to his brother, hands tightly fisted and his gaze focused ahead. 

   The crowd of cultivators watched time pass, and watched when Wei Wuxian and the other young cultivators were trapped in the cave with Xuanwu of Slaughter. 

  Many faces among the cultivators flashed with a myriad of emotions. 

Some were shaking their heads and gasping when Wei Wuxian threw himself into the path of the Wen Sects branding iron that was burning hot with the Wen Sect motif. 

It seems like trouble is attracted to the young cultivator, that or he likes to throw himself recklessly into danger for the sake of others….

 Everyone's expressions paled at the feeling of the scorching heat and the pain.

Lan Wangji's expression was stoically pinched.

Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren winced at the pain as Wei Wuxian was branded. 

  Nie Huaisang trembled, swallowing thickly and fanned himself with his fan, hiding his face. 

Nie Mingjue felt a twinge of pity, looked down at his brother, wondering if he should have made the other stay at their sect.

    Everyone watched as Wei Wuxian selflessly tried to stay behind, telling everyone to get out.

   They watched with avid attention when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were trapped in the cave together after saving each other from harm.

   Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren watched, expressions odd, as Wei Wuxian teased Lan Wangji, forcing the other to spit out the bad blood from being wounded, watched the other flinch away at being scolded.

The cultivators watched everything unfold.

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen were filled with pride at how Lan Wangji helped finish of the Xuanwu and how he handled the situation, ignoring the awkwardness of the events after and how the other sects kept glancing Lan Wangji, whose face was impassive as ever, save for the burning tips of his ears - he hoped no one noticed - and thankfully no one did, except for Lan Xichen.

     Everyone watched as an unconscious Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rescued.

     The memories skipped forward, the cultivators gasped with shock.

Some were disgusted and angered at the actions the Wens took against the Yunmeng Jiang Sect.

____________________________________________

   Lotus Pier was burning. 

Wei Wuxian seethed on the boat adrift on the water, clenching his fists. He bowed his head in guilt, listening to Jiang Cheng's heart wrenching cries for his parents, for Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian. 

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…'

It was his fault.

Wei Wuxian watched as the flames reflected in his silver eyes burned his home, Lotus Pier, to the ground.

There was nothing he could do.

He stared at a desolate, sobbing Jiang Cheng.

Their home taken from them.

He would not forgive the Wens. 

                                  {>▪<}

  "Why?! Why did you have to step in and save Lan Wangji?! Why did you have to call attention to yourself and play the tank hero?!! Why?! This is all.your fault!"

  Jiang Cheng seethed with heartbreak and rage, straddling Wei Wuxian, blinded by his emotions as he started strangling the other.

"Why?! Why?" Jiang Cheng snarled, his grip on Wek Wuxians throat tightening with every word. He was lost in his devastation.

Wei Wuxian laid on the wet muddy ground from rain, gasping for breath as the hands choking him became tighter and tighter.

"Jiang Cheng!" Wei Wuxian gasped out loud. Jiang Cheng seemed to come to, and broke down into sobs again.

Wei Wuxian saw his shidi in pain and he had never hated anything more than the fanned Wens that had stolen everything from them.

Never had he hated anyone more than he hated himself in this moment, despair raking jagged claws across his heart. Wei Wuxian bit his trembling lips, his body quaking with held back emotion too much to contain. 

As he lay there, listening to Jiang Cheng's cries, Wei Wuxian covered his face with his arm, allowing the tears to fall from his eyes blending in with the falling rain.

Wei Wuxian cried silently.

'My fault… my fault… my fault… my fault…'

'I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…'

Madam Yu…. Uncle Jiang…

Everyone…..  'I'm sorry…' 

Chapter Text

  Hearts were in disarray. They could not help but be secretly moved in their hearts by the scenes that they witnessed as they slowly, gradually unfolded, even if they had hardened their hearts - they were not immune. Chenqing kept his gaze on them in disdain; tapping his forefinger on his knee as he watched them, as he watched his master's memories-his spirit filled with sorrow and bitterness.

       Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng laid where they were for a while, tears all dried up. Wei Wuxian never thought that he nor Jiang Cheng would end up in a situation like this. 

    Wei Wuxian sighed heavily as he slowly dragged his exhausted body into a sitting position to stand up, placing his hands on his knees as he pushed himself and stood up. 

 Wei Wuxian spoke in a weary hoarse tone, “Come on, Jiang Cheng. We need to move. Let’s go.” 

He looked down at Jiang Cheng, waiting for the other to stand.

  “Jiang Cheng, we need to go. Come on.” Wei Wuxian bent, lending out his hand to his side. A loud crack sounded as Jiang Cheng swatted his hand away, leaving the back of Wei Wuxian’s hand stinging. 

Wei Wuxian didn’t say anything and blinked at the other, still waiting

“Go? Go where?” Jiang Cheng croaked, Wei Wuxian knew it must have been because of Jiang Cheng’s screaming from earlier. 

“To go find Shijie,” Wei Wuxian offered, wanting to reach out his hand once more to help his side, the little brother of his heart stand up… but he knew the help would be unwanted so - Wei Wuxian clenched his fist, hidden in the sleeve to stop the impulse. 

Wei Wuxian waited as Jiang Cheng slowly stood up.

The two set off on foot, leaving behind a night of storm and screaming, and dried-up tears.

~~~~~~~

    During their journey, they summoned up whatever energy they had left as the two trod the earth with heavy hearts and heavy footsteps. Wei Wuxian stayed quiet unless he needed to speak, occasionally glancing with worried grey eyes at Jiang Cheng, another sigh was a heavy boulder that weighed down on his heart that seemed to be submerged under deep water. Jiang Cheng kept his hands close to his chest as though it held the most precious treasure he owned, cradling the hand with the finger that bore the ring of Zidian and with it the last piece of Madam Yu. 

Wei Wuxian watched silently as his side kept glancing over his shoulder, looking back at what had been their home. Wei Wuxian wanted to look back as well, the need suppressed deep within. 

He could not - would not - look back. He did not have that right. He could only force himself to push forward, onward - never looking back, only looking forward.

He, Wei Wuxian, knew that he, himself, was high spirited. He had only ever looked forward, always following his own morals and principles, following his heart. 

   He never wanted nor ever felt he needed to look back before, until this moment… and now… there was nothing to look back at… except a ravaged and broken burning home, stolen and stomped on by others who did not care for it, only wanting to seize it.

Wei Wuxian did not look back, he could not - not until they retook their home from those damned Wens. 

Whispers sounded throughout the room from many cultivators that watched and heard the former Yiling Patriarch’s inner dialogue and felt his intense emotions of hatred towards the Wen-dogs, his seething need for revenge that was growing deep inside like an infected wound. 

“What? He clearly hated those damned Wens so much… and yet… why did he end up choosing to save some of them after?”

“He must have had a change of heart.”

One cultivator snorted, “having a change of heart towards those that were part of the clan that devastated his home?”

“Demonic cultivation must have done it.”

“Really? But he was such a fierce force against the Wens during the war, the Sunshot campaign! He had the highest kill count of all!!” 

    The whispering cultivators did not pay attention or notice other multiple eyes glaring vicious daggers at them.

Lan Qiren simply frowned and shook his head. Lan Xichen sighed heavily with a worried glance at his younger brother who sat stiffly, hands clenched in his robes, staring straight ahead at the images that were paused in motion. 

Lan Wangji heard the whispers and hated them, how dare they speak of him?!

Lan Wangji could not look away from the images before him, he was afraid and Wei Ying was gone… these past images, of Wei Ying’s memories -besides A-Yuan…. They were all he had left of Wei Ying. Wei Ying who was still alive in these memories. Lan Wangji could not bear to look away from these images. 

It would be like losing Wei Ying all over again…

Nie Huaisang hid his face behind his fan, Oh, Wei-Xiong… 

Jiang Cheng scowled, looking at the cultivators gossiping about his dead brother, the very same brother whose corpse was only rooms away, in a room the other had once lived in. 

Luckily Jiang Cheng had put up a spell so his brother's corpse wouldn’t decay and waste away… the other was dead… so there was no chance of him coming back… and yet… there was a what if? What if he could?

The small possibility refused to be put out like a fire drenched in water.

Jiang Cheng just didn’t-couldn’t let go… Wei Wuxian was his brother-

Jiang Cheng was alone, his family gone - save for his young nephew Jin Ling being looked after by nannies. Jiang Cheng looked at Chenqing and the other looked back. Somehow, Jiang Cheng knew he didn't need to worry about Chenqing not protecting Jin Ling, so Jin Ling was safe. 

The whispering cultivators were still whispering amongst each other about the infamous Yiling Patriarch.

Changing took in all the whispers in the crowd and sneered, ‘Hmph, these fools chatter away and yet they know nothing like the ignorant little simpletons they are, acting so damn righteous when they're actually just hypocrites.

“Are you all done with your little whispering session?” Chenqing gave an amicable smile this time instead of a sneer. 

The ones that had been whispering saw his smile and shuddered, feeling chills crawl up their backs and immediately went silent once more. 

His smile is far more terrifying than his scowl, some thought but were wise not to make any more comments.

They went back to focusing on watching the dead Yiling Patriarch’s past memories unfold.

    Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng fled as fast as they could, in a hurry, with nothing in their possession to sustain themselves, using up their energy and strength. 

Wei Wuxian staggered slightly from a light wave of dizziness but held firm. He and Jiang Cheng weaved through a small city.

“You stay and sit. I’ll go find something for us to eat.” He spoke to Jiang Cheng, eyeing him with worry before leaving him, had repeatedly told his side not to move several times and to wait for him to come back before he left.

Wei Wuxian really didn’t want to leave Jiang Cheng alone but he didn’t have much of a choice. 

Wei Wuxian made his way back with a bunch of food he bought, only to come to a complete halt, dropping all the food in his hands to the ground with a thump.

Shock, terror, worry, and dread filled him all at once. Wei Wuxian’s pulse started thumping in a frantic beat beneath his skin.

He searched for Jiang Cheng frantically.

He had to find him.

He had to.

    Jiang Cheng stared at the images, watching his brother's expressions as he searched for him during that time. He felt bitter pain in his heart, Wei Wuxian didn’t know… would probably never know that the reason Jiang Cheng had left was to save him - to keep him safe.

And look at how everything turned out in the end …  Jiang Cheng squeezed his hands into fists.

Wei Wuxian asked a young woman who had called out to him, where 'the young purple-robed man' Jiang Cheng might have gone - which way he may have left. 

"Lotus Pier! He must have gone back….'" Wei Wuxian murmured to himself and then thought- 'Maybe he went to Meishan without me…' 

Ouch .

    Jiang Cheng felt hurt that Wei Wuxian would even think for a second that he had abandoned him and left without him. Fuck. A sharp pang hit his heart. It hurt. Fuck. It. Hurt. His heart hurt watching this.

His eyes widened as he flinched, feeling cold eyes assessing him.

   Chenqing was watching him, a predator assessing his prey, red eyes flashing. 

He flinched again, eyes growing wider as he felt and saw a wispy dark tendril swirl near him, twisting and writhing as he watched Chenqing's mouth move, speaking in a low whisper that no one heard but him, the black cold tendril of darkness carrying Chenqing's message directly into his ear.

"But you did in the end…You abandoned him. It was you that left him alone. You left him to rot on that mountain! So, you will watch. You will listen.  You will see just how much, how deeply he cared. You will see all he saw and felt. And maybe then, you will understand. Watch and pay close attention, Jiang Wanyin. And never forget any of it!" Chenqing's voice hissed low, snarling in that terrible whisper echoing through the tendril, chilling him to the bone. 

Oh, Jiang Cheng had heard everything. He felt fucking frozen, Chenqing's earlier words still echoed, reverberating in his mind over and over - again and again as he watched his brothers memories while his conscience continued to spew those same words with venom to him inside his mind, and stabbing into his heart repeatedly. 

But you did in the end… You abandoned him…

Fuck. Fuck. Jiang Cheng trembled, barely holding himself together. He really, really did not like Chenqing- wanted to lash Zidian at him - but… he was right. He was fucking right.

 Jiang Cheng's lips curled down, stomach twisting. He watched his brother intently through the memory. He did not look away.

  He couldn't look away, his heart wouldn't fucking let him. He cursed at himself when he felt a tear fall from his eyes. 

He let the tear fall. 

He kept watching as everything continued to slowly unfold, unraveling, gaze riveted to what was happening even if watching it summoned his own memories of the events.

No. Jiang Cheng would not look away.

Wei Wuxian ran. Even when he stumbled and fell, crashing to the ground he just got up again and ran. 

He couldn't stop. He didn't know what awaited him but if Jiang Cheng went back to Lotus Pier… then he definitely had to go back and get him, to save him or die trying. 

Rain poured down, making the ground wet and slick. Wei Wuxian crept carefully, keeping himself hidden and trying to think of where Jiang Cheng could be.

He froze up when he heard some Wen clan disciples talking. 

"Hmph. Young Master Wen Chao showed the Jiang heir who was in charge. He got what he deserved. Pathetic." A voice spoke in a haughty tone.

The disciples laughed in agreement, mocking Jiang Cheng. 

Wei Wuxian gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists. He wanted to snap their necks. He breathed deeply, quietly, to calm himself. He moved, trying to stay unnoticed, other disciples had alerted him to where Jiang Cheng was being kept. 

He moved quickly, sneaking into the room where Jiang Cheng was supposed to be and froze.

Jiang Cheng lay pale and quiet. Wei Wuxian felt ice crawl in his veins. He knelt at Jiang Cheng's side and put two shaky fingers over the other's throat for a pulse. 

Wei Wuxian sighed heavily with relief that Jiang Cheng was alive. He quickly placed him on his back and moved to flee. 

As he was running he was spotted.

'Shit,' Wei Wuxian cursed to himself. 

He ran, his foot accidentally slipping and propelling him into a fall. He reached and embraced Jiang Cheng and shielded his body from the impact of slamming into the ground. 

Though the breath was knocked out of him, Wei Wuxian wasted no time in putting Jiang Cheng on his back again, hearing the Wens shouting and alerting each other and hearing running footsteps rushing towards him as he ran.

He stopped, eyes darting and right for a quick place to hide. He couldn't get very far running with the right in his heels. 

A hand shot out and dragged him into a room, closing the doors. 

Wei Wuxian whirled with a snarl, Jiang Cheng unconscious in his back, his own hand grasping out for a possible threat and wrapped his hand around their throat, squeezing. 

"E-e-easy, Y-young master Wei," a meek voice spoke from the person Wei Wuxian was slowly tightening the grasp around their neck. "I-I-just want to h-help."

Wei Wuxian sneered, glaring with hateful eyes as the boy before him kept stuttering and speaking to him. He questioned the other  curtly. The boy explained his name was Wen Ning and that they had met at during Archery Competition at the Discussion Conference in Nightless City--

Wei Wuxian blinked, "Ah", he remembered. The boy had been very shy upon Wei Wuxian's presence. 

Looking at the boy, he wouldn't hurt any living creature being too kind, too soft but that was then and Wei Wuxian was unsure to trust him.

"Young Master Wei, you can trust me." The other boy murmured, and looking at him again, Wei Wuxian relaxed because he was right, Wen Ning was a gentle soul that was incapable of intentionally hurting others. It wasn't in his nature. 

Wei Wuxian sighed, following Wen Ning's lead. 

They hurried into what used to be his room, until the Wens came. 

Wei Wuxian laid Jiang Cheng down and Wen Ning hurried to make a healing drink.

Wei Wuxian made sure Jiang Cheng was hopefully comfortable while resting, even in the current situation. 

He sat at the foot of the bed and heaved a heavy sigh, shoulders dropping.  Hot tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

"Wen Ning… can you… would you… please… help me get Madam Yu and Sect Leader Jiang's ashes back?" He bowed his head and grit his teeth, clenching his hands into fists until his nails nearly broke through the skin. 

"Of course, Young Master Wei, I will do my best. I'll be back with more tea." Wen Ning hurried away.

Wei Wuxian sighed, placing his face in his hands, shoulders drooping as he waited.

After some time, Wen Ning returned.

The other ducked his head for a moment in an apology as he held out his hands.

"This was all I could get from them. I'm sorry, Young Master Wei."

Wei Wuxian shook his head, refuting what he said. "No, Wen Ning, you did good. Thank you."

Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian froze, hearing Jiang Cheng shift in a fitful sleep, turning to him to see Jiang Cheng snapping awake with dull glaring eyes as he took in Wei Wuxian standing next to Wen Ning.

"You! Wei Wuxian! You dare betray our sect! AHAHA! Bastard!" He cursed, yelling, laughing, screaming.

"Eh? Jiang Cheng, you don't understand-" Wei Wuxian stammered in shock and fear. Jiang Cheng yelled and screamed and raved some more until Wen Ning’s sister barged in and knocked him out. 

Wei Wuxian turned and bared his teeth at Wen Qing with a scowl. 

"What?" She held her chin high, eyes flashing as she stared back at him, and spoke, "The actions of the Wen Sect does not represent what we do. We are not responsible for the Wen Sect's wrongdoings. Wei Ying, there's no need to look at me like that. There is a beginning to all debts. I am the office leader of Yiling, but I was ordered to take the position. I am a medic, an apothecary. I have never killed anyone - much less touched the blood of the Jiang Sect."

Wei Wuxian felt himself deflate, grinding his teeth - but she wasn't wrong. 

She was right.

Wei Wuxian's shoulders slouched, and he curled in on himself - as though the weight of the world was weighing on him and beginning to crush him. 

   Jiang Cheng flinched as he realized it too. As did the other cultivators who had a conscience and were decent enough to feel ashamed of themselves at Wen Qing's scolding words. 

Lan Qiren sighed and just closed his eyes, not saying a word, head bowed.

Lan Xichen looked on with sad, ashamed eyes.

Nie Mingjue clenched his fists and ground his teeth, his own shame tearing at him. Damn. Why did she have to be right?

Jiang Cheng felt more ashamed than anyone for the fact that he treated two people who had helped save him and treated them as less than nothing, not even reciprocating their efforts, even after Wei Wuxian tried to tell him. He just hadn't wanted to listen.

He sighed. He barely listened and registered as she spoke once more, saying Jiang Cheng would be out of it for a little while and also telling him to leave the needle in Jiang Cheng for him to rest so he could heal. 

Watching his shidi break down like this… out of his mind with grief and rage, like he didn't care for his life…..he despised it. He hated when Jiang Cheng cried, it hurt his heart and destroyed him but this - this was much, much worse. He had tried to explain the situation and make him understand but… Wei Wuxian clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes closed with his head bowed, tears threatening to spill beneath them as he listened to Jiang Cheng laugh hysterically and curse his name. 

No. He had to be strong, had to hold himself together. Even if Jiang Cheng was like this and blamed him, he would not leave him. Never. He would be strong….he had to be.

                               ☆~☆~☆

  Wei Wuxian searched. He looked everywhere he could and poured over every book he could find to help Jiang Cheng somehow while he recovered. 

Nothing

Nothing

Nothing!

"Damn it all!" Wei Wuxian cursed at himself and snarled. There had to be a way to save him - to fix this! - it was all his fault! Jiang Cheng was meant to be Yunmeng Jiang's sect leader and Wei Wuxian believed he would be a damned great sect leader. He needed a golden core though! That bastard Wen Zhuliu! Wei Wuxian would make that man suffer. He'd make sure of that, including Wen Chao and his bitch! 

   Wei Wuxian's hatred of them grew . They would not get away with this! 

Focus on helping Jiang Cheng! He comes first! Wei Wuxian smacked himself.

Ah! A book caught his eye, pages sticking out of it. He had not seen or read through it yet. He opened it, and inside it was notes! Documents! 

He read what it all said, hands trembling.

The Golden Core Transfer Theory

This, this was it! This… could work, right? He could help Jiang Cheng! 

He shot to his feet and rushed to find Wen Qing. He would do this, he had decided. No matter what. He would do this. 

Not only had he promised Madam Yu to look after Jiang Cheng, not just because it was also his duty -  none of that, not really. 

He would do this because he wanted to, because… because - despite the fact that they shared no blood - Wei Wuxian saw Jiang Cheng as his family, his little brother.

Wei Wuxian would plead and beg Wen Qing until she gave in if he had to, so she could give his golden core to Jiang Cheng, so his brother could become a damn good sect leader, and be able to cultivate and use spiritual energy.

He would do this for Jiang Cheng, no matter the price he may have to pay, no matter the cost - even his life. None of that mattered so long as Jiang Cheng was alive and able to be the sect leader which Wei Wuxian knows he'll be. Because he believes in Jiang Cheng's ability and strength.

He believes in Jiang Cheng. 

Wei Wuxian would do this, would give up his golden core for him… because Jiang Cheng is his little brother and he loves him. 

It has to work! It has to!

He would fix this and make things right!

 "Damn it! Stop! No more!" Jiang Cheng grit his teeth, tears streaming silently down his cheeks. The other cultivators had to look away from such a devastated, vulnerable expression.

  Chenqing stared at him, a small look of pity in his eyes before it faded, but shook his head and levelled a cool gaze at Jiang Cheng. "Sorry, but no. We haven't even gotten to the best parts yet," Chenqing mocked, real anger coating his tone before softening, just slightly. "Master loved you, you know, even at the end. He loved you even when he believed you hated and blamed him - despised his very existence. He loved you still." Chenqing admitted somberly. 

Jiang Cheng squeezed his eyes closed, trembling. He had felt everything in that viewing of Wei Wuxian's memories. He felt it all. The guilt, the shame, the fear, worry and… the love. So much of it. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Why?! Why does this hurt so fucking much?! Wei Wuxian, why? Damn you! Why? You bastard! Damn you!

Jiang Cheng wanted to lash out with Zidian and release the emotions roaring inside of him. It was too much !

Even so, he let the tears fall down his face, he didn't even try to wipe them away.

Many cultivators were in turmoil as well, so very shocked and in denial - many still disbelieving - that such a theory was even possible! It couldn't be!  

They were all feeling, seeing and hearing what Wei Wuxian went through in his memories. No one with a conscience could not be in turmoil or unmoved by it. 

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen remained silent, heads bowed. Lan Wangji trembled, eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

Oh. Oh, Wei Ying… "Wei Ying," Lan Wangji whispered quietly, voice shattered with emotion threatening to spill out of his throat.

Nie Huaisang, face hidden behind his fan, allowed his own tears to slip free. Oh, Wei-Xiong… I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend when you needed one. I'm sorry… 

  Nie Mingjue was still as stone, his heart in utter turmoil seeing his little brother break into tears and after feeling Wei Wuxian's emotions, after feeling and seeing, hearing it all - the pain, the suffering and a creeping horror of the terrible knowledge of just what Wei Wuxian planned to do- and there was more . It wasn't over yet.

He had a bad premonition that things were going to get worse in the memories and the things they will continue to watch and feel until they have seen all there is to see. He knew that Chenqing would not release anyone until they saw and heard and felt everything Wei Wuxian felt to the very end.

The truth Chenqing kept hinting at, showing them. 

Things were going to get far worse, he could feel it. He wasn't sure he wanted to see this - the memories - what was coming next and after, to hear it, to know.  

But that's exactly what Chenqing wanted.

Nie Mingjue stared at Chenqing, who was staring back with a glint in his hardened eyes and a smirk - like he was baiting him. 

Nie Mingjue felt his lips twitch to the silent challenge but said and did nothing, he was strong yes and believed in his ability but Chenqing was an unknown, a mystery and very powerful. A flute, a weapon, an instrument, a spirit, a live being with a body.

He couldn't take chances and he was sure his little brother would want to stay to the end and see his friend's memories. 

Nie Mingjue shoved all that emotional turmoil into a box to delve into later. 

He clasped a comforting hand on Nie Huaisang's shoulder and he braced himself with a sigh and a heavy heart for any and everything he was about to witness. 

Nie Mingjue held his breath and exhaled deeply, he had a feeling that once they had all watched everything unfold to the end, things were going to change, with whatever revelations would be shone by the time this was finished.

Chenqing trapped them all in one room together, and here they all were. Watching, listening, waiting. Nothing they could do about it either and everyone knew it. 

Chenqing flicked his wrist with the wave of his hand, and the next memory he had already pulled up had begun to play.

Chapter Text

      "No. Absolutely not." Wen Qing rebutted.

  "Wen Qing, please! Please do this for me!" 

  "Don't be foolish, Wei Ying! Get up! I will not do this! It's only a theory! It's never been done!" She snapped down at Wei Wuxian's kneeling figure, as bowed low before her. 

    Wei Wuxian refused to relent no matter how she refused. He could not give up, it was not in him to do so. If there was even a slight chance of success, it gave him a sliver of hope and he clung on to that hope desperately as he begged and pleaded with Wen Qing to do the surgery on him. 

  Wei Wuxian continued to kneel and plead to Wen Qing until his voice grew hoarse, cracking with suppressed tears and desperation; hopelessness seeping deeply into his bones.

"Alright! Alright, I said! Now stop with all this nonsense!" She grumbled and heaved a sigh as she stared at Wei Wuxian's hopeful face as he stood up.

"I will do the surgery, however, you must know and be aware of the risks, understood?"

"Thank you. Thank you, Wen Qing." He thanked her, his tone full of relief. He waited for the words she would say next as she had warned.

"This has never been done before since it is only a theory. You must know - the estimated chances for success rate are fifty-fifty. I will ask you again, one last time, are you sure you wish to go through with this?" Wen Qing questioned. 

Wei Wuxian replied without hesitation, the fire of determination burning in his gaze.

   "Yes."

   Jiang Cheng's lips trembled and his eyes stung with unshed tears while his hands fisted in his robes on his legs. A weight had settled upon his chest. He heard the muffled voices of shock and awe, voices exclaiming in denial around him at what was supposed to be impossible, a method that no one had even known about until this very moment, and the implication was as astounding as it was horrific.

He didn't want to think, he didn't want to feel like this.  It couldn't be! It couldn't be! It wasn't true! This couldn't be true!

He told me it was Baoshan Sanren! He told me… he told me... this… 

So… he lied to me all along? I never knew?!

How could I be so stupid!

Jiang Cheng lifted a trembling hand and held it over his abdomen, where his Wei Wuxian's golden core rested warmly within him. 

He looked up to meet Chenqing's hostile gaze, proving right after all. The look in Chenqing's eyes spoke volumes. 

Jiang Cheng paled, swallowing thickly, anger warring with pain and denial making him feel sick.

So… Wei Wuxian… you…

Jiang Cheng fought to keep his shoulders from shaking, and fought to keep his tears at bay. He wanted to scream, to shout - to fight!

He bowed his head, teeth biting into his bottom lip and drawing blood. 

I am such a fucking idiot! Why, Wei Wuxian?!

But Jiang Cheng knew why, he saw just now with his own eyes and felt the remnants of Wei Wuxian's emotions.

Wei Wuxian had loved him, seen him as his little brother within his heart, and it wasn't just because his mother had made him promise to look after him. 

Just what had he done?

~~■~~

    Lan Qiren was aghast along with Lan Xichen. He couldn't fathom such a possibility. And if the implications they were seeing were true, and it was going to be shown… Wei Wuxian had sacrificed his own golden core, giving it away to Jiang Cheng, who had lost his golden core. Lan Qiren had heard the rumors back then as well, they had spread all around from cultivator to cultivator, though who could say where it had come from first?

      For Wei Wuxian to do such a thing and then being caught by the Wens and coming back using resentful energy…. How could he not have noticed? How had he not seen the signs? Had he even bothered to look? He always saw Wei Wuxian as a problem child and thought he was no good. But back then… even before the war with the Wens… Lan Qiren had seen the boy and known of his playful personality and wrote him off because of his foolishness and rule-breaking but… was it him who had truly been wrong all this time?

  Lan Qiren sighed deeply in his heart. Just when had things become like this?

He did not know.

 ~~■~~

     Lan Xichen was troubled.

   He was not sure how to feel or what to think of all this, being just as shocked as his uncle. What he worried about was Wangji and how he would take it, so he had been conspicuously watching his younger brother from the corner of his eye. Wangji was pale and his golden eyes had a bright sheen to them, even more alarming. 

    Lan Xichen saw his brother tightly clench his hands where they rested on his legs, gripping the fabric of his pants. Lan Wangji was gripping them so tightly it seemed that thin lines of red were trickling from beneath his fingers as they dug into his palms. Lan Xichen watched as his little brother was biting down hard on his lips,  staring at the scene that seemed paused before them to give everyone time to gather themselves once more. 

    Nie Huaisang hid his face behind his fan, shaking his head and speaking low to himself, " Oh, Wei-xiong . I suspected as much. I'm sorry for not being a better friend, for not being there to help you." He closed his eyes, not even caring his brother's gaze was upon him. 

    Nie Mingjue sighed watching his younger brother Huaisang and listened to him mutter to himself under his breath. He turned his gaze back to the frozen scene on the smoky mirror of resentful energy. From the looks of things and from the feeling in his gut, and while the memories of the procedure had yet to be shown - Wei Wuxian had given his golden core away to Jiang Cheng - and whatever events befell him led him to the path of Demonic cultivation and thinking of it, without a golden core one could not cultivate. 

  Which only meant one thing: Wei Wuxian hadn't had a choice. He was forced to walk the path of Demonic cultivation and he accepted it, even after everyone turned on him, because what else could he do, what could he use?

  Nie Mingjue sighed heavily. These memory reveals were troubling and enlightening and it invoked shame within him. Some righteous cultivator I am , Nie Mingjue mocked himself, I am a fool.

  The Jin sect were whispering amongst themselves. Jin Guangshan looked bored, waving his fan in his face. Jin Guangyao had a amicable smile, trying to appear as though he wasn't engaging in the whispers of his sect. 

 Chenqing watched him, studying that fake smile-the smile of a viper waiting to strike. The cunning fox and his father are up to no good, he thought. Well, they could try whatever but Chenqing would not let them be so easily. For now… he would observe them. He smirked to himself. He had an even bigger surprise for all of them,  one that would be appearing in just a moment.

 "Before we continue further with the memory viewing, I have a special new guest for you all." Chenqing grinned widely, showing his teeth. 

  The image sent shivers down their spines and had the hairs on their necks standing straight up. 

  They heard footsteps before a yawn broke the silence as a new voice entered the room. "Oi! Chenqing, what in the hell did you need me for? I was busy sleeping.” And everyone could just sense the pout in the mystery person’s voice. “You know how I like my beauty sleep. Sending your little black smokey tentacles of darkness to keep poking me while I napped is really damn annoying, y'know that?" 

   The special guest glared at Chenqing, who just lifted a brow without blinking or his expression changing. The guests' arms were crossed as he surveyed the room. He blinked, taking in the cultivators spread throughout the room.

   "Ah ... So it's you bastards, eh?" He sneered at the lot of them, just noticing Lan Wangji. "Oh. Except you, HanGuang-Jun. You're the only decent human being in the whole bunch, a truly righteous cultivator compared to them." The guest stated offhandedly, baring his teeth, and glaring at the others with an imposing aura surrounding him, much like the fighting spirit of a tiger. 

 He was quite tall, not too broad or lanky, but he had the outstanding perfectly symmetrical body figure in a stature of hidden and coiling wired strength. He wore black clothing that had gold, red, and silver lining it,  embroidered and emboldened in the fabric. The clothing was very fine, like he was some eccentric royalty. His eyes were mismatched, one eye was a dark stormy grey which made it appear black, and the other eye was golden and silver, both eyes had vibrant and visible red flecks of color in them; unique and otherworldly.

His hair seemed to match his eyes and clothing, though it was more of a dark and fiery crimson red, with parts that had gold, black, and silver in it. It hung long, luscious - cascading around his shoulders and down his back like a waterfall. A fringe of bangs framed his face, accentuating his facial features, giving an exoctic and wild beauty about his person, like an exotic, majestic being celestial. 

  He stood out like a fine, beautiful and well sculpted figure.

The cultivators of each sect all looked at each other, silent asking, who is this guest? We have never seen him before. 

Little did they know, they had, just not human form. 

 The guest snorted, a smile creeping up the side of his face - half playful,  half menacing, "Look at you lot with your idiotic expressions, your all probably thinking you've never seen me before, am I right?"

   Yes, they thought, but none of them said it aloud. 

  The guest snickered, as if he knew their silent unspoken answer. He stood to his full height and made a grand gesture with his hands and a little mocking bow. 

  "It is our first official time meeting in this way, but allow me to clear up the confusion for everyone. It is an honor to officially meet you all," though his tone said and implied the exact opposite, the guest introduced himself-

"My name is Suibian," Suibian smirked. 

 Jaws dropped and eyes popped wide, Suibian? That Suibian? 

The Yiling Patriarch's sword, Suibian?

   Suibian kept his smirk and made his way to stand to Chenqing's side. After finding a suitable spot to sit comfortably, he answered again as though he knew what they were thinking.

"Yes, really. I am that Suibian. The one and only!" He spoke cheerily, smug. 

  From the looks of things, he already knew what Chenqing was up to. It didn't take a lot to figure it out.  Chenqing was forcing them to sit and see their Master's memories. Suibian looked at the brother of Master's heart, he was the only one able to see the tangible golden thread of connection between them since his Master's core resided in the other. 

  Suibian's aura darkened, seething with anger, watching the Jiang Sect leader with hostility and resentment in his heart. He did not deserve his Master's golden core, his sacrifice, after what he had done. He would never see him as a Master nor would he ever forgive him. And while Suibian might hate Jiang Cheng a little, and felt angry and hostile towards him, his master had still loved and cherished his brother to the very end. He would never harm Jiang Cheng and sully his master's memory and the feelings of care he had for his brother. 

   Jin Guangshan on the other hand...

  Suibian's gaze moved and locked onto Jin Guangshan, that bastard was the worst of the bunch after all he did. 

   Suibian knew his master, knew his master more than anyone else!

 He knew his Master's heart and soul best! 

He knew his Master's good heart and good intentions! He knew how much he sacrificed in his heart!

How dare they trample on my master's heart and his name! They knew nothing! How dare Jin Guangshan plot against his master and harm him! 

How dare they?!

    Suibian felt his anger rising as he stared at the crowd of cultivators whose eyes were fixed on him. He grinned and watched as they flinched at whatever they saw in his eyes or expression. Good.  

  He felt Chenqing place a hand softly on his shoulder, but he waved it away, motioning he was fine. He was glad Chenqing woke him up, glad he wasn't going to miss out on this, watching them squirm. 

    He wasn't thrilled about seeing his master hurt in the memories all over again… but watching the hypocritical, pretentious cultivators before him - (save for Lan Wangji of course - he knew how much his master had cared for the other in his heart, even if his master had been oblivious to his own feelings, especially with everything that happened) - he was eager to see them squirm and for them to know the truth, and he'd eagerly pitch in and help Chenqing with that when he needs to. 

  Suibian couldn't wait. 

    Wei Wuxian was shaking slightly with nervousness, and letting out a nervous breath as Wen Qing prepared for the surgical removal of his golden core. He made up his mind and he wasn't going to change it.

  He thought back to when Uncle Jiang brought him home and off the streets. If it weren't for Uncle Jiang, he would have never got to cultivate a golden core. 

   He owes Uncle Jiang and Madam you everything, not just that, Jiang Cheng is the heir of Lotus Pier, he will be sect leader, he needs a golden core, and Jiang Cheng was the brother of his heart and he cared dearly for him. 

  When you cared for someone, would you not do everything you could for them? He made a promise to Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang, and Jiang Cheng…

He must do this. He needs to. He would do anything for Jiang Cheng, for him to live and be happy, and be the sect leader he was born to be. 

This… this was the only way.

Wei Wuxian calmed and steeled himself, refusing to go back on his word. 

Wen Qing stood over him with the scalpel in hand, using the other to check the energy of his golden core with her own energy. She instructed Wen Ning who shifted nervously on the side to hold him down, Wei Wuxian nodded at Wen Ning in agreement.

 Wen Qing had a pensive expression after using her energy to check his golden core. 

  "Your golden core is certainly a strong one. I'll say this again though, I'm not sure it's wise to use anesthesia, it may disrupt the energy and make the golden core dissipate. I honestly don't know. This practice has never been done. I can't take the risk of using anesthesia if we are to do this surgery with hope that it is successful - out of the fifty-fifty chance it will be." She said with a worried frown. 

  "It's fine, Wen Qing. Just do it. I'm ready." Wei Wuxian replied, his voice giving nothing away. 

"Very well." She nodded at Wen Ning. Wen Ning held him down as she cut an opening over his abdomen, digging the blade in as she started the procedure.

 He tried not to, he really did, biting his lips to keep quiet but Wei Wuxian… he couldn't help it. The pain was excruciating and consuming him.

  He screamed. 

Everyone gasped, pale and flinching. The screams were horrific and the pain he was feeling… my gosh… they felt it too. 

   The pain was unbearable and nauseating. Just how… how could someone bear this pain? Willing give up their golden core? How could Wei Wuxian bear it?

 Everyone was sick to their stomach and some fainted from the nauseating pain, some even shed tears. They could not fathom such an ordeal. 

  Jiang Cheng felt nauseous, his heart thudded painfully in his chest as he pressed a hand to where his brother's golden core was resting. Tears fell from his eyes, which he closed tightly and bowed over his knees. 

  'What did I do?! Wei Wuxian… brother…. What have I done… Why didn't you tell me?! Please… please answer me… ' Jiang Cheng cried out silently, wanting to scream himself but his throat has tightened, closing up with his held back tears steadily streaming down his face, a whine sounded painfully in the back of his throat like a wounded animal as he choked back his sobs. His brother couldn't answer him anymore...

  Lan Wangji grit his teeth as scolding hot tears fell from his eyes, leaving warm wet trails staining his cheeks. His shoulders shook, his chest heaved with harsh breaths. He could not stop the tears from falling and he did not wipe them away, letting them fall. His heart ached for the one he gave it to, who was no longer here.

  Oh, Wei Ying… my Wei Ying…

  Lan Xichen closed his eyes as the screams seemed to echo in his ears, his heart prickled with pain from hearing such screams in Young Master Wei's memory, tears hidden and held back in his own eye's. He opened his eyes and looked worriedly at his uncle and his brother.  

  Wangji was crying steadily but silently, his body shaking and biting his lips hard enough to draw beads of blood. Wangji's eyes were focused straight ahead, riveted on the love of his heart screaming within the memory. 

  His uncle was undoubtedly shaken and speechless, having gone extremely pale but his uncle did not turn away from Young Master Wei's memory, watching with a heavy weighted gaze. 

    Lan Qiren… didn't know what he felt. He was speechless. He could not fathom what he was witnessing…what he was feeling from Wei Wuxian's emotions in the memory.

His mind was blank and his heart was heavy… a question buried deep in his soul.

  What have we done? 

What have I done?

  Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue, both their hearts were in turmoil and their souls were uneasy. 

    Oh, Wei-Xiong… I'm so sorry, Nie Huaisang thought, face shielded behind his fan as he cried, his shoulders silently trembling. Nie Mingjue berated himself in his head. You fool, you utter fucking fool! What did you do?! How could you agree to siege such a kindhearted person?

  Chenqing watched them all with undisguised amusement. He glanced down at Suibian who was sitting next to him and glaring at the crowd of cultivators around them, no doubt secretly hurt by hearing their masters' pain. 

    Chenqing was in pain too but this was their revenge against the other cultivators, this was his plan. He had no time to stew in those painful emotions of his master's memories. 

    Chenqing focused all his hostility, all his rage, and energy on the cultivators deserving of his ire. He lightly brushed the tips of his fingers along Suibian's shoulder to comfort the other (a silent 'I'm here' gesture), and himself, watching as Suibian slightly relaxed, and reached back to briefly and softly brush Chenqing's hand with his own, giving him comfort as well and a silent 'thank you'.

 He and Suibian had only each other with their master no longer alive. 

  Chenqing sighed to himself inwardly, focusing back on the memory and making sure the others were still  watching as well. 

   He screamed and screamed. 

'It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!' 

It hurts, it hurts! IT HURTS! 

 Wei Wuxian tried not to thrash around, tried to stop screaming and keep still but it hurt so much! 

 Wen Ning continued to firmly hold him down, but had given him cloth to bite down on, per his silent request with his eyes, tears leaking cool wet trails down the sides of his face.

'You can do this, Wei Wuxian, for Jiang Cheng, for Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu. You can do this!' He chanted repeatedly inside his mind, trying to block out his own muffled screams and take his mind off the pain and the cool sharp feeling of the blade Wen Qing moved inside his body. 

The pain was growing, spreading, and it hurt so much. Black dots started to appear across his vision, he felt himself weakening. It felt hard to breathe with the pain, as it kept stealing his breath away. 

   Wei Wuxian felt faint, sensing that he was starting to lose consciousness. How long has it been now? How long would this agony continue?  He felt like he was going to die, he felt like he was dying. 

His mind became muddled, his consciousness fading. He heard Wen Qing's voice but it sounded muffled, like it was underwater.

"Wei Wuxian! Hey, Wei Wuxian! Don't close your eyes! Don't fall asleep, you have to stay awake! Wei Wuxian! Dammit! Don't close your eyes! You may not wake up ever again! Wei Wuxian!"  She sounded strained and panicked. Wei Wuxian wanted to reassure her he was still awake but he seemed to have lost his voice.

 The black spots grew bigger taking over vision as he felt himself slipping further away.

Was this it? Was this the end after all? Am I dying? 

He thought of Jiang Cheng suddenly, that shidi of his, as long as he is alive and well, and had a golden core that was all that mattered right? He was doing the right thing right?

'I'm sorry, Jiang Cheng. Forgive me, dear shidi.  All of this was my fault. I hope that with my golden core you will have your revenge and later be happy though I'm not by your side. No matter where I am in the world, know that my heart, and my core are always with you.', Wei Wuxian thought tiredly with an inward smile, still fighting to stay awake but barely hanging on before everything suddenly faded into nothing and became complete darkness. 

    Their hearts all stopped, they anxiously fidgeted and stared at the memory scene. 

    Lan Wangji just felt… shattered, his heart was in pain watching the beloved of his heart suffer, and his tears had not all dried. He couldn't seem to stop crying, but he used his hair as a curtain to hide his face while he silently shed tears for Wei Ying. Wei Ying… Wei Ying… his heart cried out into the silence, chanting and pleading for one whose heart no longer beat. 

 Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen were silent, for they had no words. They simply bowed their heads. What had they done ?

   Nie Mingjue was consoling his little brother who had broken into a fit of tears, his own heart was hurting. Who could remain unaffected watching those memories and the feelings in them? By Wei Wuxian's feelings…? 

  Oh, Gods… He almost died. Wei Wuxian almost died from this procedure. They knew lived after this scene because he was there during the Sunshot campaign after missing for three months and things that followed after that and then… well… because they had led the siege against him and he died being bitten and torn apart by corpses. 

   But this… something so monumental, almost dying from this kinda sacrifice….  Were they really the ones in the wrong after all? Did they instigate and attack first? How can someone willing to go so far for someone they held dear… how can you not call them selfless instead of selfish?

   Some of the cultivators felt conflicted while some tried to cling to their belief of Wei Wuxian being evil, refusing to budge on the surface… but their hearts were conflicted and wavering as well.

  Jin Guangshan on the other hand, was sneering and unmoved by this scene and was just bored watching it all, having felt nothing stir in his rotten, greedy heart - except some nervousness and a bit of fear about the memories to come that may implicate him, revealing the truth and ruining everything. 

   One of Jin Guangshan's advisors leaned in to whisper something in his ear, and a slow smile spread on his face while he nodded, not knowing he was still being watched carefully not just by one but by two beings who hated him, knowing his filthy deeds.

  Chenqing sneered. As if he'd let that man whore of a bastard escape so easily, (Suibian wouldn't either and that disgusting creature of a man had actually touched him as a sword!). Chenqing could see the wheels turning in the others mind. Disgusting piece of filth, lowlife human waste of trash that thinks he's above everyone. 

   Chenqing would love to play with him for a little while. 

   Jin Guangshan and his son would pay their dues. Chenqing would make certain of it, in due time. 

     The procedure of his golden core removal was a success but a close call. Wen Qing had told him after he woke up a couple days later, exhausted to the bone; weary. 

    Now Wen Qing just needed to insert his golden core into Jiang Cheng. And luckily, it was the easy part. Jiang Cheng didn’t need to feel the same pain he went through. He was glad that Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. And with that story he fed Jiang Cheng, the other wouldn’t suspect a thing.  

  He, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning had it all planned out. 

He just had to wait. 

 ~~■~~

      The day Wei Wuxian had tricked Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng had finally woken up, but he was listless and dispirited, eyes staring at nothing and silent.

  Wei Wuxian faintly remembered the words he told him as he  placed down the meal he had made for Jiang Cheng and sat down. "Get up and come eat, it's time for dinner and you need to regain your strength."

Jiang Cheng was silent and as still as a statue. This had made Wei Wuxian’s decision to give up his core ever firmer.  "We cannot get your golden core back if you do not eat and replenish your strength." 

And then Wei Wuxian had fed Jiang Cheng a botched up and quite a ridiculous story of how Baoshan Sanren could restore a golden core. He just had to follow certain directions and avoid some ‘taboos’. 

Jiang Cheng had been so excited then. Wei Wuxian reminisced as he kicked a stray stone away from him, his movement limited because of his surgery wound. ‘He had been so…..alive when he learned he’d get a golden core again. And I know it would destroy him to find out that his core is mine.’ 

He grimaced. ‘Jiang Cheng would probably break down. He never liked being compared to me and if he finds out that he has my golden core…..he’d be in despair. After all, his achievements and everything he will work towards will be only because of my power flowing through his meridians.’ 

 ~~■~~

 The mountain was plush with green plants and flowers, the top clouded by mist. It held a sense of pureness, of celestiality, though it was nothing like anyone had assumed it was. 

Wei Wuxian smiled as he waited for Jiang Cheng to come back down. ‘Hopefully, after this, we’ll go to battle. I’ll fight and fight and fight and ‘accidentally’ slip up and get stabbed fatally. When I die…….no one will ever know that I didn’t have a core.’  

  Wei Wuxian waited patiently while Jiang Cheng had been in the mountain for seven days. He squatted in a small clearing by the mountain path, surrounded by bushes and trees not far from the town either, using a large rock to sit on near the bushes, using a stick to distractedly draw in the dirt. 

There still wasn't any sign of Jiang Cheng. ‘What’s taking so long? It took only two days for the core to be removed from me. It shouldn’t take that long for the core to be put back in. Did it not work? Or…..were they caught by Wen Chao? No. No, no, no. Don’t think negatively!’ 

He sighed, and stretched his muscles. The sound of a twig snapping made him jerk to a stand, tensing, eyeing his surroundings warily. 

He moved to dodge an attack as Wen Zhuliu came from the woods, gasping in pain as he felt a sword stab him to the hilt from behind him. Blood spurted from the wound made by the sword in the upper left side of his chest, near his shoulder, before the blade was ripped out of him brutally by his assailant. 

Wen Chao! 

Wei Wuxian coughed and spat blood from his mouth, kicked to the ground by Wen Chao. His hair was gripped in a fist, and his head yanked up to face Wen Chao. Wen Chao's face was twisted with cruelty as he lorded over Wei Wuxian with a smug sneer and countenance, mocking him.

"Down already, eh, Wei Wuxian? You arrogant brat, daring to think you're better than me? Making a fool of me, and mocking me! You really seek death! Put down with one strike after all that jumping around at the Xuanwu cave of Slaughter, how proud you were! And look at you now! Nothing but dirt under my shoes!" Wen Chao sneered and laughed, now pressing Wei Wuxian's face into the ground with his foot. 

 Wang Lingjiao called out in an impatient tone, "Young Master, quickly cut off his hand! He still owes you an arm! Cut it off!" 

Wei Wuxian sneered at them, spitting in Wen Chao's face when he was jerked to his feet, held by Wen Chao's minions, the wound on his chest still bleeding. 

  Wen Chao, "No, no. We're not in any hurry. We've finally found and gotten our hands on him. I don't want him to die so soon. I want to relish this moment with him in my grasp and completely powerless." 

Wei Wuxian barked out a sharp laugh, "Come on then, bring it on, whatever torture techniques you have, go ahead and bring them out! Do your worst!"

'If I'm going to die anyway, might as well have a little fun pissing this bastard off,' Wei Wuxian thought.

 Wen Chao scorned him, "So close to death, and you still run your mouth, always playing hero!"

Wei Wuxian laughed again, his eyes blazing with resentment and hatred, "Exactly. It's because I'm so close to death like you say that I'm happy! I'm only scared that I won't die. If you have the courage, do it then, what are you waiting for, hmm? Go ahead and torture me to death. The crueler, the better, if you dare. Once I die, I swear that I will come back as a ferocious ghost to torment you and watch you squirm! I will haunt the Qishan Wen Sect day and night, cursing all of you! I'll never let you know peace! Mark my words, Wen Chao!"

Hearing this, Wen Chao paused, hesitating. 

Wei Wuxian was calmer, even knowing he was so close to death, knowing he would die.

Wen Chao felt a little bit of fear, and kicked Wei Wuxian out of spite and anger. The Wens beat Wei Wuxian bloody until Wen Chao ordered them to stop. 

Wei Wuxian wheezed and coughed, spitting out a mouthful of blood. His heart was set, steeled with determination.

Wen Chao spoke again, "Wei Ying, you always think you're not scared of anything, don't you? Thinking that nothing can scare you? You think that you're so brave and courageous, don't you?

Wei Wuxian only replied, "Wow! I'm impressed! I didn't think Wen-dogs were capable of understanding human speech! Must have been hard on you to do so!"

 Wen Chao smashed a fist into his face and gave a hideous smile, "Keep it up! Keep showing off how amazing you are with words! I'd like to see how long your hero act will last with you trying so hard!"

 Wen Chao signaled for his subordinates to hold Wei Wuxian down and Wen Zhuliu hauled him back up in his grasp. They got on their swords and carried him.

They took him high in the air, and far away from the town and the mountains. After flying for some time, they all stopped. 

They were in the air above a black mountain, the clouds parting to show its jagged edges. It emitted a chilling aura of death. It makes one's blood run cold when looking at it, chilling you down to the bone. 

Wen Chao spoke, "Wei Ying, do you know what this place is? Do you know where we are?" He sneered, "This place is called the Burial Mounds."

Just hearing the name caused a wave of cold air crawled up Wei Wuxian's spine to the back of his head, which made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle at the ominous feeling and sinking sensation of dread filled the pit of his stomach. 

    "Burial Mounds is right in Yiling," Wen Chao continued, "You've probably heard of it, right? This place is a mountain of corpses, an ancient battlefield. No matter where, or what spot you pick - you can use a shovel to dig and find a corpse anywhere. Other nameless corpses are tossed here wrapped in a mat only." 

   They descended closer, slowly approaching the black peak of the mountain. "Tsk, tsk. Such sinister aura of air, no? Resentful energy is suffocatingly thick here in this forsaken place, isn't it? You can feel it, can't you? Even my Wen sect is unable to do anything about it.  It's only daytime but anything can be found here at night. When a living person enters this wretched place - both their body and soul cannot return; forever trapped here and unable to leave for all eternity-" Wen Chao snatched up Wei Wuxian by the hair, a distorted grin upon his face as he spoke the last words slowly and carefully to Wei Wuxian - "and  so will you!" Wen Chao finished with a laugh and threw Wei Wuxian down.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Wei Wuxian's eyes went wide as he fell from sky into the darkness below with a long, terrible scream before darkness overtook his vision, until he saw and felt nothing. 

     Nie Mingjue grimaced. Can the kid not catch a break? Wen Chao must have got what he deserved for sure. Wei Wuxian already went through so much in such a short span of time and basically gets tossed into a hell of a place, making it worse. Wen Chao was a disgusting Wen-dog but he wasn't wrong about Burial Mounds being an absolutely horrid place.

   The dots were starting to connect. Wei Wuxian, who gave up his golden core to Jiang Cheng and ended up tossed into that place with no core, no spiritual energy… what else could he do if not turn to Demonic Cultivation? He had no other power, no other way to survive. 

   Wei Wuxian was trapped in that place for three months… Nie Mingjue shook his head. Wei Wuxian had no choice but to walk the path of demonic cultivation. Nie Mingjue really wanted to hit himself for being an utter fool.     

  And Nie Huaisang was right all along... but Nie Mingjue had ignored him, blinded by his own ego and self-righteousness. It seemed he owed that clever, troublesome younger brother of his, who was crying into his chest quietly, shoulders shaking. He wrapped his arms around Nie Huaisang and held him while he cried for the loss of his friend and his suffering. 

 Lan Wangji was distraught. He had exhausted his tears. His heart was in agony watching Wei Ying suffer this way, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, he could not save Wei Ying. 

   Lan Wangji desperately wished he could go back in time to find Wei Ying and hug him and apologize. He wishes he could apologize to him for not being at his side, for not standing with him. But he can’t... And it’s too late. All too late... He will never be able to say the words he’d always wanted to say to him. 

 Lan Qiren berated himself in his mind, ' You blind old fool! How could you not have known, how could you not have seen it? You could have helped him! You could have searched for the truth instead of condemning him! But all you did was scorn and condemn him! And without even knowing the truth! Not knowing of Wei Wuxian's sacrifices and suffering! Why? Why?! And you helped end his life! Why?!!'

  Lan Xichen felt terrible shame and guilt. If only that has really looked and tried to find the truth and not immediately condemn Young Master Wei… they could have helped him. But instead, they did nothing and sided with the majority who condemned him. 

    Maybe if they had tried harder and done something different, had bothered to seek the truth, his brother wouldn't be heartbroken and mourning Young Master Wei's death, the loss of his heart…Lan Xichen bowed his head. Oh, Wangji, we have wronged you and Young Master terribly, I'm so sorry, didi…

  Jiang Cheng's eyes were bloodshot, he stared at his hands blankly. There was much he wanted to say… but the person he wished to say them to was already dead and gone. Jiang Cheng thought of his brother's body lying cold and motionless in his old room, preserved by a spell where he used to sleep and br so lively when they were younger. Jiang Cheng felt desperate, insides hurting as though they were raw and bleeding. Maybe… possibly…

     Jiang Cheng knew it was a fool's wish but the thought of his brother coming back somehow invigorated him, sparked a small flare of hope in him. Jiang Cheng found a spell to preserve its body in its natural state, not letting it rot and decay. If he could do that much… then surely… maybe there was a way his brother could be brought back? 

   Maybe it was an insane thought, completely absurd, but Jiang Cheng clung to the idea anyway. Maybe… he really could… maybe he would… but he couldn't do anything right now… he had suspicions that Chenqing and Suibian knew already, obviously, but he could not let the others know, except… Jiang Cheng's gaze landed on Lan Wangji who seemed utterly heartbroken. 

     Lan Wangji seemed to care deeply for brother. Lan Wangji could be his ally and help him. He hoped so anyway... but he had to wait, be patient and watch his brother's memories. Jiang Cheng fisted his hands, and tears stung his eyes, he had turned his back on his brother… but he wouldn't make the same mistake, so long as he brought him back, Jiang Cheng would be better, do better, and make it up to him; and hope Jiejie would forgive him for spitting on her sacrifice to save their brother. He had to get another chance. He had to. Just one more chance. 

('Please. Please forgive me, brother. Please come back, and give me one last chance… that's all I ask, You can see and meet Jin Ling. You'd be always welcomed home at Lotus Pier, but only if you come back, Wei Wuxian, brother, please. Please let me help you come back. 

 Please!')

  A ruckus sounded throughout the room and garnered everyone's attention.

  Suibian had flashed quickly to stand in front of Jin Guangshan, stopping him from attempting to flee.

  "Where the hell do you think you're going, eh? You really thought we wouldn't notice you trying to sneak away?  You piece of shit! You no good sack of garbage!" Suibian got in the Jin Sect leader’s face.

  The crowd of cultivators gasped, some made a move to stand and help, but backed down after feeling a chilling aura come from Chenqing who was watching the scene. All eyes were glued to it, watching.

 Members of the Jin clan tried to attack Suibian but were immediately trapped, wrapped up by tendrils of resentful energy and held tightly, unable to escape. 

  "You have some nerve! The fucking audacity you have, for a coward like yourself is pretty astounding!" Suibian laughed darkly. "You are the worst kind of human, nothing but a disgusting waste of space - human filth. You're a scourge and a blight, tainting the very air. You don't even deserve to be breathing right now for all you've done." Suibian growled. 

   Jin Guangshan shouted and cursed when Suibian raised a fist and punched him in the face. Jin Guangshan squealed from the pain, holding his broken nose. Suibian snatched him up the collar of his gold robes with a vicious snarl, Suibian's killing intent emanating off him in waves. Jin Guangshan shuddered and flailed uselessly.

  "How dare you?! Unhand me! I am the Jin Sect leader! You can't treat me this way!" Jin Guangshan snapped, scowling at Suibian, who gave him a chilling grin, arching a brow, letting out a sardonic laugh in Jin Guangshan's face.

    "So? Your point? Does it look like I fucking care? You being a sect leader means nothing to me, dumbass. See, Jin Guangshan, I know exactly the kind of person you are, a filthy good for nothing manwhore who thinks he is above everyone, and that the rest of the world is dirt beneath his feet, right? But that is where you are undeniably wrong. You are nothing.Your status as a sect leader is just a meaningless fucking title to me. I don't care. You cultivators think your so fucking righteous! You piss me off just looking at you. It really turns my stomach, making me nauseous! And you are the biggest fucking fraud of them all! I detest a scum of a man like you!" Suibian snarled, his hold tightening, making Jin Guangshan flinch, eyes widening with fear. "Ugh , Chenqing, come wrap this disgusting thing up, I can't believe I'm even touching this filthy, nauseating man." Suibian dropped the man from his grasp in a repulsed manner and Chenqing did just that, immobilizing Jin Guangshan. Suibian shuddered visibly, his expression disgusted, he rubbed his hands on his robes, "Ughh. Why did I touch that loathsome waste of trash? Caught in the moment I suppose." 

  Jin Guangshan made an offended noise that no one acknowledged and he was held tight in Chenqing's grasp of resentful energy.

   Suibian sighed, becoming much calmer, and turned his hostile gaze back onto Jin Guangshan. "Chenqing and I know what you have done. Did you believe you could get away unscathed if you really provoked us? You and all your clan couldn't stop us. Even your clever little mastermind of a son, Jin Guangyao." Suibian's eyes flicked to said person who was watching him warily but stayed silent and didn't make a move. 

    Suibian smirked. "Even Jin Guangyao won't come to your aid, he knows the precarious position that you both are in. Why don't you follow his example and try not to be or do anything so foolishly stupid again, kay? We're not done here, not yet, so sit back and watch. And, hey! Look! You even get a front row seat this time!" Suibian smiled and spoke lighter, elevating his aura before his expression shifted, changing. Suibian grinned, eyes sparkling. "I have the best idea, Chenqing! We can punish him by letting him hang upside down from the ceiling for a little while for the memory viewing. I think it would be fun! Can we?" 

The crowd of cultivators all gave each other a glance before staring at Suibian with odd expressions. "....." What? You want him to hang upside down from the ceiling as punishment???! 

 Suibian arched a brow and crossed his arms as he looked over them all, "What are you all staring at? This punishment is much more fun, well… only second to outright killing him just yet." He titled his head to the side, grinning, "It's like you all want me to kill him! Hm, Chenqing, can I, you think? Or is it too soon?" He glanced back at the other, who gave him an exasperated sigh and look. 

   "......"

   "......"

  What?! No! That's not it! Why do you jump to that conclusion?! Everyone thought in their hearts, though some secretly hated Jin Guangshan, so they didn't care, they were all for it but for Suibian to jump to that  conclusion and say all that…Just what kind of monster is he, with that personality?!

Suibian shrugged, smirked. "Fine, first option it is then."  

   And so Jin Guangshan was forced to hang upside down from the ceiling for some time as punishment. Some cultivators couldn't help snicker at the Jin sect leader who was put in such a humiliating position. 

   Suibian seemed to be cool and laid back now, calm as can be while lounging on the ground against a pillar; grinning and enjoying watching Jin Guangshan whose shouts were muffled by a black tendril cover his mouth as he wiggled back and forth, red in the face as he struggled.

  No one was fooled, they had just witnessed a tiger baring his fangs before hiding them away again, but ever watchful of his prey and ready and waiting for an opening, assessing for a weakness to strike and for the kill. They shivered, shook their heads and turned away. 

   It had been some time since they started and everyone was pale and worn,  stunned and emotionally wrung out from the memories they had just witnessed.  

     Lan Wangji had stopped crying sometime ago, but his gaze was forlorn and searching, lost in turmoil. Jiang Cheng was quiet and subdued, face hidden and looking down. Lan Qiren just gazed heavily into space, with a weighed down heart, deeply lost in his thoughts. 

   Lan Xichen was no better, shackled down by an invisible wave of guilt. Nie Huaisang was crying quietly into his brother's chest as Nie Mingjue tried to comfort him, his own heart hurting, stabbed by shame and guilt.

  And judging by Suibian's reaction just moments ago, they all knew they were missing something, but what was it? What did they not know?

     Just what was going on?

Chapter Text

      Wei Wuxian whimpered, agony shooting throughout every nerve in his body, his bones rattled and bruised by his fall. He was crawling slowly on his stomach; fingers dragging into the dark earth of Burial Mounds to pull himself forward little by little, his eyes nailed on the bright light far away from him, the path out of Burial Mounds. A way out of this dark hell hole of death and black jagged mountain peak. 

     It was a fool's hope with his body's condition. The hard impact of his fall had been lessened, having landed on a few ledges to stop any severe broken injuries from occurring. He was unable to stop the momentum to keep from falling further down to the bottom. 

     Wei Wuxian was sure he had broken the bones in his legs and arms, he felt bruised and battered and had no more energy, no more strength to stand. So he could only crawl. He still had that bleeding stab wound on the left side of his chest.

 ‘Come on, dammit, just a little further, Wei Wuxian. Keep moving, just keep moving’, Wei Wuxian thought to himself desperately, the light up ahead was still so distant. He choked up, angry tears stung his eyes. Please, just a little further. Giggles sounded around him .

He turned to look behind him, terror filling his expression. A mass of resentful energy surrounded him, slithering around his body - wrapping tightly around him.

   Wei Wuxian wriggled and tried to shake it off and twist it away but it continued to cling to him. "Ahh!"  he choked, his body suddenly being invaded and pierced by the resentful energy. He screamed. 

   Lan Wangji gazed at the scenes of Wei Wuxian's memory. His heart suffered so much…. And he hadn't been there for him… not even at the end when his beloved thought he was all alone and loathed by everyone when he died, killing himself when he chose to destroy the Stygian Tiger Seal and the corpses he'd been controlling bite and tear into him.

    Lan Wangji had been in seclusion, healing from his punishment. He had to hear the death of his heart from the mouth of his brother and overheard how he died from the mouths of others. The cultivators that had besieged his Wei Ying had gloated and told the gory tale to all who'd listen and agree that Wei Wuxian, the evil Yiling Patriarch had gotten what he deserved. 

    Lan Wangji felt his heart crumble away even more, nothing but tiny unseen shards scattered to the wind like the remains of the man who captured his heart forever lost. Gone… gone….gone. 

  Jiang Cheng clutched at his chest. The pain was near unbearable. He felt he had been carved inside out. He felt his intestines had been slowly scooped out with a spoon and placed upon a platter. How… How! How could he not know of his brother’s suffering?! Why did Wei Wuxian not tell him? He could have confided in him… why didn't he? Did Wei Wuxian think he somehow could not? 

  Brother… I don't understand why... Please… please tell me why... Jiang Cheng begged in his trembling heart, but his brother's voice was silent. He could not answer him, maybe not ever again… unless Jiang Cheng could attempt the impossible as his sect motto said… and somehow bring his brother back to life. He had his brother's whole body, which was being preserved by an ancient spell for however long he wished. 

   However, he needed to see his brother's memories through to the end. He owed him that much and possibly more…

     What's more… he missed him and wanted him back… he regretted leading the siege against him in the first place and it was far too late to take it all back… What would Jiejie think of him now if she were still here? How disappointed would she be in him?

     Jiang Cheng didn't want to know the answer to that question, didn't want to even think about it but in his heart… he already knew. 

   Lan Qiren shook his head in dismay, outraged at himself. So this is how that boy had turned to that path. Not out of choice. There was no choice. It was a necessity. How blind could he have been?! How did I let things go so far? Lan Qiren didn't even have a word to say. What could be said at this point? ' I'm sorry?', 

   'I'm sorry', wasn't even enough. It would not change all the things that happened and could not fix them.

    What's done is done and Lan Qiren hates that he has part of the blame to bear, along with regret and sorrow. 

     But maybe… maybe some things could be done when the viewing was over...so that he could atone. 

   Yes, he would do whatever he could to atone for being so foolish and turning a blind eye, for being unjust and prejudiced to one who never deserved it. And Wangji… Oh, Wangji. His nephew… Lan Qiren and their sect did him a great injustice punishing him with a discipline whip. 

Lan Wangji had attacked the thirty-three elders in Wei Wuxian's defense but even with his impeccable cultivation and strength - he tried to hold back and did his utmost to defend the one he gave his heart to (to who at the time was not in his right mind and grieving as well), the one he believed was good and kind in his heart… and they attacked first, cornering him and leaving him no choice in a desperate attempt to save the beloved of his heart, even if it was all in vain. 

   But really from the start… it was never really Wei Wuxian who attacked first… no… it was them.

   They antagonized him, instigated quarrels with him just because of the path of cultivation he chose and other 'issues' they had about his character when in truth… it was always them… and Jin Guangshan at the forefront but Lan Qiren and his sect, as well as others... went along with it and didn't even bat an eye. And they accused Wei Wuxian of everything, crimes he didn't commit, and blamed him for fighting back and lashing out when it finally became too much.

   They were all fools. 

Such idiotic fools who had prejudices and other things, calling ourselves righteous while being the exact opposite. 

     Lan Qiren sighed.

How and when… did we all fall this far?

 Nie Huaisang was still snuggled up into his brother's embrace, his tears had subsided. His brother usually wasn't so open or affectionate but a slight change had seemed to overcome him. 

  Whatever it was… Nie Huaisang was grateful. 

     Nie Huaisang pulled back just a little and shifted, fanning himself in the face and eyed Jin Guangshan sharply.

    So, it seems my intel wasn't wrong after all. Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao did something to Wei-Xiong… what they did was despicable. 

   Nie Huaisang would not forgive them or let them off easy for what they did to his friend but… well… Suibian and Chenqing shared that sentiment even more so, as Wei-Xiong was their master.

   Nie Huaisang's eyes glinted into a pleased expression as a smirk crept upon his face. 

  Well, he would at least get to sit back and enjoy the show… my, my, won't that be fun?

  Nie Huaisang schooled his expression quickly when he felt his brother's keen eyes on him, letting that old inner natural nervousness and timid energy fill him. He also let his sadness be known, allowing it to show.  

 He peeked at his brother from the corner of his eyes, and relaxed, a quiet giggle escaped him. Ah, good. His brother didn't notice.

   He made sure that his fan veiled his expression and turned back ahead. 

  Nie Mingjue studied his brother closely, after noticing what he had tried so quickly and so hard to hide. How interesting… He arched a brow, still staring at his little brother before turning his attention back to the image of  Wei Wuxian's memory with a heavy heart.

   He could not change what had happened… but Nie Mingjue would uphold himself to atone his mistakes in any way he could. 

  Suibian lay stretched out on his side nonchalantly, his hair vibrantly splayed around his head like a fiery halo. Jin Guangshan wiggled and struggled with a red face above him. Suibian yawned, still drowsy from such a long sleep that Chenqing rudely woke him from.

  Muffled, indignant screams could be heard from above him. Suibian growled in annoyance, glaring up at said annoyance. "Do you ever shut the fuck up? How does your sect put up with you whining and shouting all the time?" Suibian snapped. 

   Chenqing looked at him, pausing the memory of their master being stabbed by resentful energy again and again, and it wasn't over.

   Chenqing realized Suibian's train of thought and allowed it, only using some of his energy to slightly break the sect leaders fell so he wouldn't be injured, well… not much, anyway.

  The other cultivators of all the sects looked over at them too, half curious, half fearful. Nervous and uncertain. They wanted to watch another spectacle but they flinched away at the expression on Suibian's face - like an indulgent exotic predator playing with its food before devouring it whole. 

   The Jin Sect leader had only been like that for a little while and his incessant whining was grating Suibians nerves. 

  He had planned to make the fucker stay stuck up there longer but… 

   Suibian grinned a cheshire grin. What could be more humiliating than that? 

    Suibian looked up at the Jin Sect leader, still grinning widely. "You want down?" Jin Guangshan nodded eagerly, not aware of what was to happen.

   Suibian shrugged. "Alright, then! I'll let you down." The movement was quick and decisive. A bright flash of steel sang high through the air abruptly, cutting through the resentful energy swiftly and cutting away Jin Guangshan's bindings. 

  Jaws dropped as Jin Guangshan fell from the ceiling, flailing and shaking his head no and smacked the ground hard before Suibians relaxed form, a glint in Suibian's eyes as he caught the sword that flew back to him. It was marked Suibian. Suibian was wielding his sword body like it was an extension of himself. 

    All eyes were wide in amazement at the display. And Suibian refuses to offer an explanation to anyone. 

  "Yeah… sorry, not sorry. You wanted down, so… I let you down. Now, don't move and stay right there where you belong." Suibian sneered, snickering, kicking a boot down on the Jin sect leader’s back. 

  Suibian then proceeded to use the Jin Sect leader’s back as a footstool with his legs crossed and he was smirking. "Ahhh... Now, this is much better." He chirped in smug satisfaction, lazily eyeing the tomato faced Jin Guangshan who tried and failed to remove Suibian's legs off him. Jin Guangshan was so angry and ruffled that he started cursing and shouting. "Now, now. That's not nice. And also, there's no way your puny human strength is a match for mine in this human form. And you all are wondering from earlier, I wasn't going to explain but as simply as I can put it, I am Suibian and the sword is also Suibian. It and I are one of the same. I am the spirit of the sword and the sword itself, and if I can have a solid physical human body outside the sword Suibian, then I can also wield it. We are extensions of each other. If it gives you a headache and it's too much to think about then don't. I won't give any of you any other kind of explanation even if there were any. But know that there is only one of me and not two." Suibian finished speaking to the crowd of cultivators and turned his attention back on the one under his feet who was still screeching, Suibian had just been ignoring him. Suibian kept his feet crossed upon his back, watching him squirm. "You should really know when to shut up. If you value that tongue of yours. Maybe I should just  sever it, hm?" He pondered. 

   The Jin sect members were angry at the leader’s treatment by Suibian. Some stood up and moved to rush forward. Suibian looked at them, his eyes cold and hard but his tone sounded playful.

  "Ah, ah," Suibian waggled a finger at them, "I would think very wisely before doing something idiotic and foolish. Clearly, you should already know you are outmatched. I mean, honestly, I would welcome the fight. It's been so long since I had one, so long since my blade has been used. That I have been used. Since master was unable to after giving away his golden core because he was worried about being constantly challenged for stupid reasons you lot could come up with and be unable to use spiritual energy since he did not have it anymore and you all believed him to be arrogant. From where I sit, the astounding arrogance you have when you have nothing to show for it is ridiculous. Repulsive. If you wish to fight, I'm more than happy to oblige you. I promise you though- the fight will be over before you dumbasses even realize it," Subian paused before continuing every clearly, "And the moment you draw your blades is the moment that I will destroy you. I will beat down on that arrogance and shove it down your fucking throats so that you choke on it. Do you understand? And by destroying you, you don't have to worry about me killing you, for death is far too kind for all of you, too easy of a way out. I'm simply going to beat that stupid arrogance, self-righteousness into the ground, and humiliate you until you wish you were dead. That's not a threat either, it's a promise." Suibian snapped his teeth, baring them, eyes blazing fiercely. He stood and stomped a foot down on the Jin sect leader’s face, pressing it into the floor as he stared at the Jin sect clan, the sword in his hand by his side. 

   Suibian's aura was fierce, yet playful somehow and still… domineering. He snarled at the Jin clan and they flinched, immediately taking their seats once more and backing down. Suibian then turned his burning yet icy gaze onto Jin Guangshan, "Now, if I were you, I would stay fucking silent and stop your damn whining and watch the memories of a man whose name you cursed and sullied with your filthy fucking mouth, you disgusting, slimy good for nothing manwhore piece of shit! Foul human scum!" 

     This person, Suibian, is very… chaotic, the other cultivators thought. Well, at least he could be anyway. Under all that… A few could almost see that he was hurt, in pain, and angry - so angry. Even a few of the elderly, the far more seasoned cultivators - could almost envision a wounded beast lashing out, not for his own sake… but because the master he cares for and misses was gone. 

    And this was Suibian's revenge. His personality was versatile, having many parts that made him not just a sword… but also so very human, even if he wasn't truly one. 

   That didn't mean Suibian was wrong and not justified. He was. They were the ones in the wrong, and it was slowly starting to dawn on them all. 

   Suibian was undoubtedly strong and formidable, fierce and domineering, yet playful and loyal to the core of his being. He was very much like a fierce tiger on the prowl currently, and they were the prey within his sights. Luckily it was more Jin Guangshan and not them in the crosshairs. 

  But… that didn't mean they were absolved of anything, that they were not in the clear and free of their guilt. 

   Whatever Jin Guangshan did to get on Suibian and Chenqing's bad side, well… it must have been quite terrible. 

    What could it be?

  Wei Wuxian screamed in torment, in complete anguish as he was jerked around, limbs forcibly twisting horribly in all directions as the resentful energy pierced through him, black veins crawling up his flesh as he was invaded but the terrible feeling of resentful.energy squirming inside his body - all the way to the cavity of where his golden core used to be.

    He wanted to cry, to scream for help, for someone to come save him but all he could do against the torture was scream until he couldn't, losing his voice. 

  It hurt too much… he was tired of fighting it even as they restrained him, making it more impossible with his already weak strength. Resentful energy poured into his mouth, cramping down his throat. He gagged and choked but he couldn't move. He couldn't fight it off. 

  He was -

Scared. 

Cold. 

Alone.

 And so exhausted...

   He shuddered but forced himself to relax at the disgusting invasion, fighting against it did him no good when he had no power, no spiritual energy. 

  He saw a red wave of resentful energy surround him, engulfing everything in his vision. Wei Wuxian squeezed his eyes closed, hatred and resentment filling his heart to the brim.

  The burning and fall of Lotus Pier at the Wens hands.

  Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu's dead bodies, along with his shidis, his friends lying in a heap of piles of corpses of members of his clan discarded like trash.

   His eyes snapped open, a red glint in them as he was completely overcome by the resentful energy and was dragged into the depths of the large blood pool beneath. 

     No! Wei Ying! Lan Wangji's heart cried out painfully, his expression desolate and broken.

  Brother! Jiang Cheng thought, making an unconscious move to reach out and grab Wei Wuxian as if he could save him. But it was too late for that. 

  Lan Qiren bowed his head dismay, distraught, and filled with shame and guilt. 

  Lan Xichen closed his eyes with a heavy, burdened sigh. I'm sorry, Young Master Wei. 

  I'm sorry…

  Nie Mingjue's heart twinged painfully, immensely saddened and weighed down by his own guilt. Tears stung Nie Huaisang's eyes as he ducked his head behind his fan.

   Forgive me, Wei-Xiong, I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend. If I could do it all over, I would stand beside you as your friend. I'm sorry, Wei-Xiong… 

   A pale hand emerged from the blood pool, fingers digging into the dirt and then a second hand. Two pale hands clawed the earth until a head appeared and then a body, dragging themselves out of the blood pool to lay on the ground and gasp for breath.

  Wei Wuxian lay still, gazing up into a dark clouded sky. He sat up slowly before pulling to his feet. He blinked down at himself, how he was able to stand without pain meaning his broken bones were no longer broken, but he was still wounded - his bruises and stab wound had not healed but he was still alive (or was he?) and then at the blood pool he just pulled himself out of after what felt like an eternity, but who knew how long in truth… The blood pool had somehow healed his body enough that he could move and stand… how peculiar...  His expression stayed blank, analyzing his surroundings again. He heard the voices of the souls trapped here. He could feel the resentful energy twist and curl beneath his skin. 

  'I'm more than likely still stuck in this hellish place as well. And there is only one possible way to get out so that I don’t die in this place.' Wei Wuxian thought. 

  He would have to utilize the resentful energy to break his way out but he'd first have to bend it to his will… 

 His stomach grumbled painfully. He was starving. There were no good food sources in this place… but if he didn't do something he would die of starvation if he was trapped here for some time. 

 'First things first.'

 He walked all the way to the path that would lead the way out of this place, standing at the entrance. He reached out with a hand and tried to pass it through, using as much strength as he could. He yelled as he was blown back by force, landing hard on his back.

  'Fuck, that hurt.' He scowled.

So Wen Chao was right. That bastard. Leaving this place would not be easy after all. 

'Damn it all!'

He needed more.

He needed power. 

Power to free himself from this wretched place, the power to help Jiang Cheng, the power to topple the Wens, and get revenge.

Power to protect those he held dear to his heart. 

Because without his golden core… if he didn't turn to Demonic Cultivation...he had nothing, he was just a normal person with no power. No power at all.

 That was not acceptable!

He would do whatever it takes, no matter the cost to himself.

He had to!

~~●■●~~

  Time passed slowly and Wei Wuxian went through tons of trial and error trying to tame and bend the resentful energy under his will. 

  He was often assaulted by voices raging in his mind and ghouls attacking him. 

 His food source, (being flesh from the dead bodies tossed in this place), it was downright distasteful and a desperate act and not at all what he would prefer eating but it was all he had. When he had to force it down the first time he gagged and threw everything up. But he kept forcing it until he got used to eating it.

  The crowd of cultivators faces were all green, some threw up themselves and some fainted watching Wei Wuxian force himself to eat dead flesh, some had to look away.

That was not something you should get used to. They shuddered. 

    It took lots of time and work and effort but finally, he succeeded. The ghouls, trapped souls and corpses all tried to fight against him but this time he was the one in control. He would not be subdued. 

  He used resentful energy to send out a shock wave, blowing them all black and making them stop under his command. The trapped creatures of Burial Mounds had turned fearful. He released them and they ran the other direction, not wanting to be controlled. He wasn't weak and without power anymore. He was no longer an easy prey. 

  Wei Wuxian grinned. 'That's more like it.' 

 However, he wasn't satisfied with that. He needed something to help better control it.

A conduit. 

Wei Wuxian thought of Lan Wangji's clan and using instruments…

Hmm. 

What would be suitable as a conduit? 

… He needed something…

'Aha!' Wei Wuxian thought with excitement, eyes sparkling. He had the perfect idea!

  ~~■☆■~~

     Wei Wuxian wielded his new instrument, stroking the black flute he'd named Chenqing. He brought it to his lips and played, his eyes sparking and turning blood red as he played and controlled the resentful energy while he stood before the entryway he would be leaving this hellhole through. 

  It resisted him, but he continued, and fought back harder. 

 'Almost there…. C'mon… almost… and…  got it!'

  Wei Wuxian felt the barrier shattered, creating a massive shockwave of black dust from the earth of Burial Mounds. 

  Wei Wuxian laughed, delighted. 

He was free of this place! 

   He remembered Wen Chao and how he had thrown him into this hell and what he had done to his sect. 

A wide, sinister grin crept upon his face, eyes glowing an eerie red.

  'Wen Chao, You and I will be seeing each other real soon.'

  Just you wait, Wen Chao, just you wait.

  'I'm just getting started,' Wei Wuxian thought as he strode forward, leaving Burial Mounds behind him, and striding into the light after so long of being shrouded in darkness. 

  It was time to begin. 

  The crowd of cultivators winced, chills crawling over their bodies from the ominous feeling of the memory and Wei Wuxians bloodlust and hatred for Wen Chao. 

    Everyone shuddered, they almost, almost -  pitied Wen Chao up against Wei Wuxian's determination and retribution. 

   But they didn't pity him, not one bit. Wen Chao had gotten whatever he deserved. 

 Suibian snickered and bumped Chenqing with his shoulder. "You can totally tell what they're thinking. Wen Chao deserved our master's ire and his revenge. It seems at this moment they forgot they probably deserve the same fate if not worse, cutting down those innocent Wen remnant's master had under his protection and then slaughtered them without hesitation. People who had been living peacefully, who hadn't harmed a soul nor had they ever handled a weapon, so ruthlessly cut down," He murmured to Chenqing in repulsion.

   Chenqing hummed in agreement, Suibian studied him critically. "Oi, what's up with you?" Suibian nudged him. Chenqing gave him a look, "Now look at who's being annoying." Suibian turned his nose up, sniffing. "Haha. Out with it." He demanded, staring at Chenqing. 

   I can't say it out loud, you dolt.

Suibian rolled his eyes. So say it like this then.

  Chenqing sighed. Have you realized anything since you've been awake? You are aware that our master's body lies in his room, his body preserved from decay and rot?

  Suibian blinked at him. Yes of course I do, you let me know the moment you woke me up since I was in such a deep sleep.

Well, it appears that Sect Leader Jiang feels remorseful and will seek to bring our master back once we have shown them all his memories. Chenqing replied.

 Suibian frowned internally, You may like to call me an idiot but I'm not and I'm not blind. I suspected as much. Isn't that a good thing? What if there is a way for our master to come back?

Really, Suibian? What about what he wanted? After all of that, what makes you think you will want to return to the living, and even so,  master still won't have a golden core and that means that he -

Stop. Stop, Chenqing! I know this already. He still won't be able to wield me as he once did. But that's fine… as long as I can be by his side this time… that's all I want…

 Suibian's reply was a shaky broken thought, tears shimmered in eyes, few escaping for he quickly blinked him away.

  Is it wrong to hope, Chenqing? Will you at least allow me that much?

No, I suppose it's not, Suibian, not at all. Chenqing thought, his tone apologetic and he sent a wave of comfort to Suibian, pushing an image of them sitting back to back, heads leaning on each other's shoulders, both their eyes closed in content. 

  Suibians heart softened and he calmed, comforted by the image which had been Chenqing's intent. He knew Chenqing missed him as much as he did. 

   Thanks, Chenqing. 

Of course, idiot.

  Suibian grinned warmly at Chenqing, who hummed in return. It was strange how close they were, the bond that connected them, but honestly? It wasn’t all that bad as he had thought it was in the beginning.

  It was pleasant, comforting. 

  Suibian turned a speculative, sharp gaze onto Jiang Cheng, and he noted the golden thread that connected him to Jiang Cheng. Master's golden core. 

  He didn't feel Jiang Cheng deserved it, honestly, but his master still cherished him and Jiang Cheng at least knew that although he had his masters core, he wouldn't dare claim to be his master and wield him. 

  Besides, he had Zidian and Sandu. 

And he'd never accept that man as his master, his master is and would always be Wei Ying - Wei Wuxian.

 Suibian would assist Jiang Cheng in any way he could if it meant that his master would come back.

  So long as he could stay by his master's side and not be cast away again, everything would be fine. 

  The thought of being cast away and abandoned made fear crawl into his heart, chilling him to the bone.

  Suibian blinked, exhaling on a shaky breath, attempting to dissuade the fear from his heart. He knew it wasn't his master's fault, not really. He just had a big heart and was doing what he believed he needed to for someone he cared about. Suibian understood that, truly, he did.

  But that didn't mean it didn’t hurt him too. 

It didn't mean that Suibian could not feel that ache deep within him.

  His heart cried out to be useful to his master, to be by his side, to not be abandoned - to not be left behind like he was before. He needed to be needed, he needed to be by his master's side. He was his blade.   

   Suibian was made for him. His master needed him but had not been able to wield him. Suibian didn't mind if his master did not have his golden core if he came back to life. Suibian just wanted their master back and his master to have the chance to live in peace and be happy and Suibian would be the sword belonging at his side to defend and protect him.

  He missed his master. Both he and Chenqing missed him. 

  They needed him.

 If only he could come back, if he could have a second chance, Suibian and Chenqing would accompany him to, protect and shield him. 

  If they could just stay by his side! 

That's all that mattered to Suibian, that's what would make him happy.

  Suibian ignored the pathetic less of a man beneath his boots, only making sure he could not crawl away from the weight and that he'd keep his damn mouth shut.

  Suibian sighed, thinking of Wei Wuxian, thinking of his master, and his chest ached with pain. 

   Oh, master… Suibian closed his eyes and bowed his head.

Please, master, let me accompany you this time, to whatever end. 

 Chenqing and I, we're still here, waiting for you.

  Please.

 Please don't leave me behind.

Not again.

Please….

Please don't abandon me…

I beg you, let me stay by your side.

My dear kind, foolish Master…

Please let me stay with you this time, okay?

 You'll promise me that, won't you? That's all I ask, alright? 

Please…

Master...

I'm waiting...

Chapter Text

  Chenqing scanned the room critically, having halted the memory. His gaze lingered on Lan Qiren, whose expression was downcast, clearly harboring a guilty conscience. Lan Qiren was having many realizations. 

  A snide smirk lifted the right corner of Chenqing's lips. 

   Maybe I should educate him a bit about where he went wrong. 

  Chenqing practically vibrated with repressed energy. He had much to say to the elder Lan, the words building and burning the tip of his tongue. 

 Especially about all those damned rules of the Gusu Lan Sect! How Lan Qiren was a rigid old fool. How he was a hypocrite. And that alone infuriated Chenqing. He would make certain Lan Qiren was aware of his actions, carving it into his memory.

  "Old Lan," Chenqing pursed his lips, waiting for the other to look up. Sensing the gaze upon him,   Lan Qiren lifted his head, feeling chilled to the bone by that crimson gaze that gave off such a terrifying aura. He had never had reason to see Wei Wuxian when he used resentful energy, and seeing it now…

 "Say, those rules of yours. There are… three-thousand or more yes? Not that I care about the number anyway."

  Lan Qiren's expression was startled, confused, clearly wondering why such a thing was being brought up. Idiot . He cleared his throat before answering. 

  "Yes-" 

  Chenqing held up a hand before Lan Qiren could go into a tirade. "You don’t need to recite them; I know them very well.  I have a good memory, and even carry my master’s memories also. I wish to call out some and chat about them and your conduct - abiding by those rules as you claim." 

  Chenqing's smile was anything but pleasant. "I think you already know where I am going with this. Have you also realized some of the hypocrisy of your actions?"

  Lan Qiren's mouth thinned, his expression darkening. He could not refute Chenqing's words. All he could do was close his eyes and sigh as he nodded in agreement. Chenqing clapped in dark delight at such an easy display of obedience.

He’s going to have so much fun with this.

   "Excellent! Since you love educating others so much and your beloved rules, I'm going to educate you with your own rules." He kept a bland, cold smile, his eyes scanning the room. "I suggest the rest of you stay silent and maybe you'll also be enlightened along with the ‘esteemed’ Teacher Lan." 

  His tone unsettled them, making their blood run cold, made their flesh crawl as he shot a glare at all of them before turning back to Lan Qiren. "The Gusu Lan is truly the most righteous amongst all of the sects, very much unlike the Jins. But you are decidedly not exempt from criticism. As with all cultivators who scheme to defy the Heavens, subconsciously or not, you have ingrained the mindset that you are inherently better than those who do not cultivate."

   Chenqing continued speaking. "I will say this again, you may be a cultivator but you are not without flaw. You are still human. You are not immortal. You bleed red. You can die, and will eventually die. You can delay old age but it is inevitable. You wish to cultivate to become immortals, yet you don’t realize that with your current mindset, that ideal is impossible. If it were, many of your ancestors would have been able to become immortal themselves considering how long they all cultivated."

  He sneered at them as he paced in the center of the room, hand gestures following his words, many took note of this and recalled Wei Wuxian as he would constantly twirl the flute in his hands. 

    "Only one immortal exists in the world, and that person is Baoshan Sanren,” Chenqing stated. “We all know that all her disciples who left her mountain met tragic ends, yet she didn't lift a finger to help them. Instead, she would rather stay on her mountain and fade into obscurity." There was a prolonged silence afterward before he turned and looked at each of them in the eyes before speaking again, lips pursed once more.

   "Have you all considered why she may have done this? After all, why become immortal if you're just going to live for eternity in seclusion? What may be one man’s treasure may be another’s trash, and you should be careful of what you wish for. Defying the Heavens comes with a price; have each of you considered how you intend to pay that price? Did you honestly think that seeking out and obtaining immortality would be free and without cost?”

   Chenqing huffed. “I’ve digressed," he sighed. "Whatever. What is so bad about staying as you are, so long as you're happy and not living a miserable existence that seemingly has no end? The sheer audacity you have is astounding. Especially the Gusu Lan sect, which has all these rules and restrictions. For example, the restriction of emotions. Do not be overly sad, overly happy, and do not laugh excessively -" Chenqing gave an incredulous laugh, feeling it was absurd, his expression twisted.

   "Why is feeling forbidden? It's human to feel -" Chenqing insisted as he placed his hand upon his chest over his heart, nails digging desperately into the fabric of his robes and piercing into his flesh while his voice turned bitter - "No matter whether it's pain or happiness, the good and the bad and even if your heart is caving in - you're meant to feel and express those emotions, not to suppress them!” Everyone flinched back as Chenqing stalked forward and thundered, his eyes lacerating into each of their souls.

  Sect Leader Yao's hands shook, as did many others around the room. His heart palpitated nervously but pride demanded he not show fear to Chenqing as the other’s words were barbed vines, with sharp piercing thorns. He used his anger and let it grow, feeling as though how they (how he) were being treated was unjust. 

  The only person who seemed unfazed and unruffled was the Nie Sect Leader, Nie Mingjue, who was watching and listening with a solemn expression, whilst his brother continued to hide behind his moving fan, his expression unseen by anyone. 

   Lan Qiren clenched his hands into fists, nails nearly drawing blood, and he felt that Chenqing was not done speaking and he dreaded it.

  Chenqing assessed them, watching many in the crowd of cultivators struggling to bite their tongues, seeing them want to object and refute him. He saw shoulders quiver, restrained, and observed their clenched fists. He let out a low chuckled to himself. Ah, I still have so much more I want to say. We're not finished yet. They refuse to listen, not wanting to hear the truth and still believing they're in the right. Chenqing scoffed and turned his attention back to Lans and resumed calling them out.

  “Do not make noise. Life is full of noise. That's a part of life. Know what that's called? Living. Being alive. Lan Qiren, your nephews, are good people and better than most. Hanguang-jun is probably the only good, only decent person in this room, the only one here that truly befits his title, but he is still human. He still has flaws. As do you. Yet you criticized him, looking down on his love for my master who you deemed a villain, who was in constant pain being cornered by all of you and repeatedly antagonized until he snapped. But ad you say, he is ‘Unworthy’. 

Tell me, Lan Qiren, do you love these rules more than your own nephew?”

  “Obviously not!” Lan Qiren shouted. “I did not want him to repeat his father’s mistakes!”

“Father? Oh right, that whole Madam Lan thing. You never wanted to know why she killed your brother’s precious teacher, just like how you never cared to find out why my master did the things he did.”

  “You!” One of the Gusu Lan disciples stood and pointed a finger at Chenqing, shaking with anger. “How dare you! What right does a stranger have to insult our late Elder!”

   “Exactly! What right did you have to insult my master without knowing what happened?” Chenqing had an incredulous expression as the disciple stepped back, cowering in fear, “You allowed prejudice to cloud your judgment and just believed in rumors even though you only heard what other people said or saw. You never inquired about my master, never spoke with him. You immediately pushed him aside just because he never conformed to your ideals. As you have witnessed thus far, you will soon realize how you never knew my master at all.” 

  Chenqing paused and stared at the young man with hard eyes and commanded, "Sit down , young Lan." His tone brooked no argument, and the Lan disciple hurriedly sat back down, feeling almost like a wintry breeze and the hairs on the back of his neck rising. He meekly put his head back down, face flushed, and didn't utter another word. 

  An elder was angry and was about to open his mouth to say - how dare you speak to our disciples in such a manner!- Chenqing turned his cold, ruby, blood-red eyes upon him, arching a brow and the Gusu Lan elder swallowed and decided not to speak out after all. 

  Chenqing walked languidly about the room, eyes roving over each of the cultivators as he spoke once more, his words once again directed at the Lan's. 

  “When Master studied at Cloud Recesses, you found him too loud, too mischievous. Too free-spirited and carefree. He was young. And his soul, in its truest, purest form, is a child. The embodiment of innocence. He was young and playful, yes, but he harbored a big and caring heart. Certainly, he broke a lot of your rules, but most of those were harmless rules. He was a young prodigy, a young innovator, and a creative genius. You got angry at an honest inquiry of resentment being used for energy. You were meant to teach and answer questions to help guide young ones, but you never behaved like a teacher in the first place. You didn't know him and refused to understand him. As a senior, you were supposed to guide and help him, not push him away. And maybe, you could have changed his life had you noticed the problems he hid behind that cheerful facade." 

Chenqing paused, letting it sink in. 

The room was quiet.

  "I think everyone else in the room is well aware that, they too, are guilty of the same thing. I have a bone to pick with each and every one of you, because your attitude and past actions annoy me immensely. Whether you know your wrongs or not, I want to make sure it's burned into your memories so you never forget and learn how to teach the younger generation with an open heart and an open mind. You're too rigid, same as the other elders of the Gusu Lan sect. Like how you had Lan Wangji, your nephew, your own blood, punished with a discipline whip thirty-three times -" shocked gasps erupted throughout the room, many thinking - that's why he was in 'seclusion'! ,  "All because he protected my master, a man he loved, a man who was doing his best to survive and protect those he took under his wing. I did not know loving someone was a crime. I bet Lan An must be laughing in his grave now. You believed it was a crime because you thought my master was supposedly evil incarnate. And yet, as I recall, who were the ones who attacked first during Nightless City?" He stared accusingly at the ones who knew exactly who he was speaking to them.  

Chenqing gave a sharp laugh with the shake of his head. 

    “A young, stupid boy from another sect, who was looking to make a name for himself by slaying the Yiling Patriarch, shot him. Of course, if someone attacks first with the intent to kill, would you not retaliate? My master hurried to Nightless City to obtain the ashes of the Wen siblings. You all fed into Jin GuangShan's bullshit and you still have the gall to call yourselves ‘righteous cultivators’. If you were such righteous cultivators as you proclaim while saying you follow and live by all those rules of yours, then why did you not shelter the Wen Remnants when they were innocent? Why did you not step up and defend against the injustice being committed against innocent people? Two rules: help the weak, and do not permit injustice. Are they not part of the rules inscribed on that Wall you have?" 

   Chenqing's expression hardened as he proceeded to scold them for their lack of shame of their own conduct, especially towards the Wen Remnants. "Your lack of shame is astounding! My master had more dignity and righteousness than anyone in the entire Gusu Lan Sect! More than anyone in this room combined!," Chenqing snarled fiercely, hands gesturing angrily, "You were all nothing more than an aggravated angry mob of stupid people unaware you were being manipulated! Congratulations!" Chenqing applauded snarkily and rolled his eyes before heaving a heavy sigh. "My master's mind... was not in the best state. He did blame himself for many things that he didn't even do wrong and was not solely at fault for, it was out of his control. Master was under a lot of stress protecting the Wen Remnants, a bunch of innocent civilians from being slaughtered like cattle, along with a child.”

  “But there were also—” The room of cultivators was in a quiet uproar and someone attempted to interject, to refute all the things Chenqing was saying, others trying to pitch in at once making the room full of noise again.

  They all shook their heads in disbelief and continued to shout out words of denial as Chenqing was speaking before they recalled his words and sensed his growing hatred and anger rising and watched spooked as resentful energy swirled agitatedly around the man.

  “Who said I was finished?” Chenqing's cold voice rose sharply, and they all stepped back. “By the way, because you were all so blind, you didn’t even realize that there was another demonic cultivator at Nightless City, doing Jin Guangshan’s dirty work with Jin Guangyao’s help, who’s so desperate for his father's love and attention that he can't see past his own fucking nose. And Jin Guangshan, a greedy ambitious little shit of a manwhore who only knows how to fuck while making others to get their hands dirty instead of him because he is a fucking coward. He doesn't have the right to be called a man or even lead a sect for that matter." Chenqing's lips curled in disgust.

  Chenqing became increasingly more agitated, and the resentful energy around him seethed with his hatred and anger, the power so thick it could choke someone with it. He inhaled and exhaled, and Suibian placed a comforting hand on him, slowly calming down until someone foolishly spoke out again. 

    Sect Leader Yao scoffed, indignant at being lectured as though he were a child, finally decided to make his displeasure clear, not wanting to look weak or cowed. "You speak as though you know everything! As if you're better than us ! But who are you to even speak to us in such ways? Do you even know what it's like to suffer? Do you know what it's like to lose those held dear to your heart?!" Ending with a shout, other voices began crying out in agreement. "You think you're so powerful using your master's path! Who are you to lecture anyone?" He stood up, puffing his chest out, his disciples following his lead. "What you've shown us is that you're no better! And that so-called memory viewing could be fabricated! I refuse to be trapped here any longer! We are not prisoners! Release us at once!" 

   After hearing this, those who considered themselves to be brave from other sects had all climbed to their feet, feeling emboldened. 

   Nie Mingjue stayed back with his brother to watch the display unfold. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren stayed where they were. Lan Xichen opened his mouth to try and be the peacemaker and diffuse the situation, but Sect Leader Yao had noticed and was already shaking his head. "No. I am done with this farce. Come, we're leaving," he said to the members of his sect and made a move to walk away. 

  Chenqing had stopped speaking and let the man have his say. "Are you finished? Do you feel better now after getting that off your chest?" He inquired in a low soft tone as he made his way towards Sect Leader Yao. 

  He stopped only a foot away from the other, who had paled and become stiff with a creeping sensation of fear. Sect Leader Yao had bitten off more than he could chew and he had just realized it. 

   Suibian could feel the temperature drop around Chenqing's aura and sighed. He wasn't just pissed. He was livid. And his lips were curled into a cold, yet gentle smile.

  Lowering his gaze, Chenqing peered out from beneath the lashes shielding his bright red eyes, a small smile on his face. He chuckled, reaching out with his hands to gingerly brush invisible dust from Sect Leader Yao's shoulders, and pat him. He was still smiling kindly at Sect Leader Yao as his grip on the others’ shoulders slowly tightened, squeezing his shoulders more and more and making the other yelp at the sharp pain that continued to grow. The next thing the Sect Leader knew, his knees were slamming into the ground with a near painfully crippling force, while he stared up into the red eyes of the man looking down at him, his hands still pressing hard and gripping his shoulders tightly.

     The crowd of cultivators felt the oppressing force and were all suddenly pressed hard into the floor beneath them, waves of thick resentful energy holding them down forcefully. Lan Qiren and some of his sect, and a few others around the room remained unaffected and were left to watch with wide eyes. 

  Minutes passed as they painfully felt suffocated and suppressed, held down onto the hard floor before the burdensome feeling finally lifted and they could sit up. Many scooted to move further away, immediately trying to stay as far away from Chenqing as they could, eyes wide with fear, especially knowing there was nowhere for them to go, nowhere to escape to. 

  Chenqing slowly released Sect Leader Yao, letting the other hurry and stumble back to his seat, rubbing away the pain in his shoulders.

  The younger disciples of the sects visibly trembled with fear whilst the older ones did their best to hide theirs, shaking hands being tightly fisted into the protective covers of their robe-sleeves. Some held onto their blank expressions while others lost theirs to anger and denial but none spoke a word this time, their fear keeping them quiet. 

 They wanted to say he was lying. But they felt his words seemed to ring true, even if they were in denial about it. Many had looked over at the Jin Sect from Chenqing’s reveal and saw that Jin Guangyao looked extremely pale. 

 They looked over at Jin Guangshan who was still under Suibian’s boots, he was as pale as a ghost and trembling. A faint odorous smell of urine permeated the air along with the soiled area of Jin Guangshan's crotch soaked by his own urine. 

    Jin Guangshan had pissed himself!

  Some couldn't hide their snickers, Jin Guangshan's embarrassment lightened their fear. 

Jin Guangshan's face flushed with shame.

 The embarrassment...

Chenqing turned his burning crimson gaze upon the Jin Sect leader trapped under Suibian, unable to break free as though Suibian weighed a ton, or carried a lot of inhuman physical strength. 

  "No matter, in a while everyone will get to see the truth for themselves. I can show my master’s emotions and feelings - you have already been subjected to his emotions and his pain during each memory of those times so far- that is my doing. I can also manipulate that and turn it into a view where everyone can witness everything I saw, and penetrate through the mind of the people in the memories and allow others to see and read them. So everyone will witness the truth, Jin Guangshan. They will know everything ." Chenqing’s hand snapped out viciously, yanking the Jin sect leader up by his hair and bared his teeth in a sinister smile, reflecting in Jin Guangshan's terrified gaze. 

  "We're far from done here. Many people in this room are all guilty and will share the blame for hurting my master and causing his death inadvertently. But none of them are as guilty as you. Jin Guangshan, you will not get off as easily as they will. And the man you refuse to acknowledge as your son who helped scheme for you.” He tightened his grip, and the sect leader yelped. “Hmm. Maybe I'll have a talk with Jin Guangyao if the other can amend his ways and be willing to atone for what he's done - depending on my mood. Hmm... you still won't be so lucky either way." He grinned. 

 Jin Guangshan flailed his arms and legs. Chenqing's killing intent was nearly suffocating the room, the cultivators covered the mouths and noses, shielding against the swirling torrent of resentful energy.

  "Chenqing, can you give me back my leg rest now? I was comfortable before you took him." Suibian whined.  Chenqing rolled his eyes and dropped him.

  Jin Guangshan then fell to the floor with a thud. Suibian then made sure he stayed there using him as a leg rest once more and winked down at Jin Guangshan who shuddered. 

  "Now, where was I?" Chenqing pondered aloud. "Ah yes, back to the rules of the Gusu Lan sect, Lan Qiren, your prejudice against my master and how you scarred your nephew which had me veer off track and revealed things I have yet to show in master’s memories." Chenqing sighed. 

  The cry of a child sounded in his ears, making him jolt and furrow his brow— 

 He closed his eyes reaching out into a void space in his mind, to the small tether he long ago linked to the child in case any harm may come to A-Yuan. 

  He split his consciousness, opening up a portal of black smoke to have a clone of himself appear before A-Yuan in Cloud Recesses and kneel before the small child, who his master had cherished and cared for deeply. A large bright red handprint marred his plump cheek. He bristled but held himself in check before the sobbing child. 

  "A-Yuan, A-Yuan." He gently tapped a finger to the other side of the boy's face. 

  A-Yuan opened his eyes, shimmering with falling tears, and sniffled. "Wh-who are you, mister?"

  Chenqing softened his expression into a gentle smile. "I am Chenqing, little one. You may not remember it, but deep down you know who I am, A-Yuan. What happened, little one? Who did that to you?" He gently wiped away the boy's tears. 

  "I made a mistake," A-Yuan whispered, staring at him with big glistening eyes. "I got in trouble." More tears spilled over and the boy glanced down, ashamed, his little hands balled up in fists as he shook, trying not to sob. Chenqing looked at the boy's assignments and spilled ink on the parchment. 

  "I want Father— I mean Han Guang-jun," A-Yuan whispered again. "When will he come back?" 

  "Hmm," Chenqing replied, "I'll take you to him." He held out a hand, smiling softly. 

  Bringing the boy would be kinda troublesome. He would have to hold back more and put the boy asleep in a guarded room at Yunmeng Jiang's place. But the boy could not stay if someone competent would not be looking after the boy.

  "Hey! Who are you and how did you get in here?" A Lan woman in white barked. 

  Chenqing sneered and judged her demeanor. She was the one who laid a hand on A-Yuan. But he had secretly been keeping an eye on him for a while. This woman he did not know. She is not someone who seemed to have been brought up by the Lan's, so the young woman must have married a member of the sect a little while ago and someone must have switched shifts teaching the boy while the original caretaker may have left to do whatever else; pulled away for some reason.

   The young woman clearly did not look after children often and if so then she should never be allowed to again and should be reprimanded for such despicable acts. He noticed the boy's hands were red on top like they were smacked with a ruler harshly.

   He growled menacingly. "You incompetent wretch. Harm this child again and you'll pay tenfold. That is no threat but a promise." And with that, he was about to take the boy through the portal but another child appeared and gripped his sleeve, "Wait! A-Yi goes with A-Yuan too! Away from the mean lady!" 

  Chenqing looked at the child, staring up at him with big determined eyes. He arched a brow, amused. This child must be Lan Jingyi, A-Yuan's friend.

  " Alright, you can come too. Hold tight." 

  He brought them through the portal and opened his eyes to look down at the children still holding onto his hands. 

  Gasps were heard from many. Members of the Gusu Lan sect wanted to voice their complaints. Lan Qiren was very shocked, as were his nephews.

 "A-Yuan!" Lan Wangji went to stand, noticing the still red handprint that had just started fading of A-Yuan, who went by Lan Yuan at the Lan Sect.

  Chenqing nodded, to the boy and his friend when looked at him and allowed them to run to Lan Wangji, whom they were familiar with.

  "I have been watching over A-Yuan for some time after Lan Wangji saved him from the tree in Burial Mounds where the master had to leave him because of the siege. He is precious to my master. I made sure to secretly watch over him. I sensed his distress and heard him cry because some foolish, incompetent Lan woman overstepped her bounds by hitting him for making a mistake. He is a child. I already suspect that she wasn't the one he was left in the care of. It seems that while most of the Lan Sect are here, some people think they can leave and do as they wish and leave a child in the care of someone who should not be left to watch and teach children and punish them harshly for making a mistake." He glared at Lan Qiren and Sect Leader Xichen.

  He partially blamed Lan Wangji but he thought the child would be in good care for sure and had come because Chenqing asked him and he wanted to know what happened to the man he loved. 

  Lan Wangji used his spiritual energy to heal A-Yuan's face. He was angry someone dared hurt him like this, over a small mistake. 

  Little Lan Yuan clung to his father, comforted in his presence with his friend at his side. 

  Chenqing called out to them, "Little one, Sizhui, come over here with your friend." 

  Little Lan Yuani looked at him and looked at his father who eyed the other man and nodded. 

  Chenqing looked at Suibian, "Since you act more like a child at times as our master had, you can keep them company on the side and entertain them, while in a protective bubble. Ah, but they need another playmate."  He glanced at Jiang Cheng who narrowed his eyes. "No worries, Sect Leader Jiang, your nephew will be in good hands. Master also cherished Jin Ling. They will all only spend some time together before I take them all back shortly."

  With that, Chenqing seemed to disappear before everyone and came back holding little Jin Ling in his arms. 

 Chenqing knelt to the far side with the children, Jin Ling held carefully in his arms. "Come, little ones, Suibian here will keep you well entertained. You will be safe, Lan Sizhui, and you can see your father again for a short time before I take you back to Cloud Recesses and leave you in the care of a kinder teacher. I will come the moment you need me, little one. I promise you. But for now, you will be with your friend, and Little Jin Ling and Suibian while I educate the grownups who've also made some terrible decisions and actions."

  "Did Fath- I mean, Han Guangjun make a really bad mistake too?" Big greyish blue eyes sparkled up sadly, worried for his father as he clenched his little hands in his robes, "Will you punish Father? Father is hurt. Father is sad a lot, missing someone. Father is good, please don't punish him like-like-" Lan Sizhui fumbled in a whisper, tears in his eyes again. 

 Chenqing smiled gently at him. "I know little one. Your father is a good man. Don't worry, I won't hurt him." He patted the boy's head with one hand before pushing him along and handed Jin Ling over to Suibian.

  "Be careful with the baby. He's our master's precious nephew."

  Suibian sputtered at Chenqing and glared. "I can handle taking care of kids." He muttered, rocking Jin Ling in his arms and allowing the two older boys to sit on his legs. Chenqing smiled. 

  "What about Jin Guangshan?" He asked. 

  "Don't worry, Suibian. I already have something in mind. You will still be able to hear and be informed through our connection though you already know what I know. The protective bubble will protect the children and prevent them from seeing what's happening and hear what's being said." 

  Suibian nodded to him, his eyes on the children. He was grinning softly and playing with them, teasing them. The children were playing happily and their laughter tinkled in the air, a temporary reprieve for everyone in the room. Jin Ling was sitting up watching the older boys with big eyes. Sizhui and Jingyi played with little Jin Ling, everyone smiling and giggling. 

  It was a heartwarming sight. 

  Chenqing sighed and turned his back to them. 

  "Now, shall we continue where I left off? Oh, just one more thing before I forget." He grinned at Jin Guangshan, who was struggling fearfully, wrapped up in resentful energy. He manipulated the resentful energy, still holding that chilling smile even as he broke both the Jin Sect leader's legs.

  The Jin sect members leaped forward, but Chenqing suppressed them. 

 Jin Guangshan's screams were choked and muffled, and Chenqing released him abruptly, letting the other collapse abruptly to the hard floor. 

  Suibian was watching closely with his attention on the children who thankfully couldn't see or hear any commotion, but he still kept part of his attention on the happenings outside the protective bubble.

  Lan Xichen eyed his uncle worriedly, and Wangji was just sitting like a stone statue, save for the tears still hidden in his eyes and the soft glances he made toward A-Yuan who was playing happily with little Jingyi and baby Jin Ling. 

  "Now you know some semblance of the pain my master felt when Wen Chao tossed him into Burial Mounds. You deserve far worse than that, but this is just a simple taste of what is to come. If you dare to crawl away from here, then I'll treat you like the dog you are and make it much worse, understood? Be a good boy. Shut up and don't move." He spoke in a chillingly soft tone, looking down on the Jin Sect leader. He turned a frightening red gaze onto the Jin Sect members. "And I suggest each one of you behaves as well." 

  Chenqing turned to Nie Mingjue and observed him for a moment when a pang stabbed through his head. He clutched at it in agonizing pain. 

  It was as though there was a protest in his mind and heart, and his head felt like it was splitting right in half. 

 "Alright, fine." Chenqing stood, his back straight. 

 He would come clean to these hypocritical, stupid people. 

 They would see why he knew and understood so much.

 They would learn the truth. 

   His truth , buried in his spirit, memories he willingly forgot, that were simply lying in wait. 

And they would now learn his true name from many centuries ago.

 And It was not Chenqing.

Chenqing closed and opened his eyes, having come to a decision.

"Some of you may know of an old name spoken long ago and the tale of a man forgotten by the world."

    People whispered amongst themselves, but no one knew what to say. 

"I once had another name. A name many of you still know and may whisper about." 

  Everyone's curiosity peaked.

  "I am the first disciple of Baoshan Sanren." He declared.

  "And my name, the name I was born with is-" Chenqing gave a dramatic pause, looking each of them in the eye as he told them his name. 

 "My name is Yanling Daoren."

Chapter Text

The cultivators in the room were completely shocked. 

Yanling Daoren?

That Yanling Daoren??!!

  Jaws dropped and eyes widened as gasps echoed throughout the room. 

  "Pleased to make your acquaintance, again, using my original name this time." He spoke with a twisted half-smiling expression.

 "Yanling Daoren??!" They exclaimed.

 "In the flesh." He replied, splaying his arms wide, a serene expression on his face.

Yes. He was Yanling Daoren. 

    He was once human, once a cultivator - at the peak of reaching the rare and so sought after immortality before he fell into the depths of hell. His master, his teacher Baoshan Sanren did not help him. He lost everything, nearly driven to madness. He sought revenge and finally, death. His bones were long since forgotten, lost deep within Burial Mounds, tossed there long before.

    The Burial Mounds became bleak and full of resentment following the war that came long after his death, between the cultivators and their sects. Burial Mounds used to be the most beautiful mountain range in all the land, plush with green bushes, trees, flowers. The peaceful lake later became a blood pool. The rocks were turned jagged and sharp, malformed and twisted black from death and resentful energy, the earth was blackened with resentment and long buried corpses, and all life and nature were destroyed.

   His spirit was broken, his soul split and strewn everywhere. 

   Until a desperate young man with a bleeding heart - so similar to him, almost a reflection of the person he had once been - reached out to him without even knowing, stitching Yanling Daoren's soul back together. 

  Such a kind-hearted young man, driven by grief and hatred, desperate to live, desperate to control and master resentful energy. 

It was this young man who created Chenqing. 

  It was this young man who unknowingly saved him, Yanling Daoren, and gave him a new name, a new body, that of a flute, and a new master, who underneath his hatred, still carried a gentle heart.

Yanling Daoren realized the young man still cared too much about others and too little about himself. This young man became his new master, bonded to him through his new name and that awful resentful energy that controlled the flute Chenqing. 

  "Yes, yes. I know what you're all thinking. My name has been passed around for years, about how I was once a famous cultivator of the righteous path," Chenqing - Yanling Daoren - gave a sardonic, self-deprecating laugh, "and also how I became a villain capable of killing people without even blinking twice; and how I later died under thousands of swords." 

   He gave a flat grin and they all flinched back. "Well, it's true, yet not true. It was centuries ago, I had already died then. Before we get into all the sordid details and how I became Chenqing and made the choice to confine you all here and show the truth about my master and the events that happened - I forgot we have two new visitors joining us! I had invited my Shidi and his companion." Chenqing turned to the frozen Jiang Sect Leader, "You should go welcome our guests since this is Lotus Pier, Sect Leader Jiang. And you look like you need some fresh air. How about I walk with you? Come." Jiang Cheng scowled. He, a sect leader, was being told what to do. He still followed after Chenqing. 

  Then again, Jiang Cheng gazed at the man who was walking beside him,  Despite his youthful appearance, Chenqing, or Yanling Daoren, was ancient compared to the old goat, Lan Qiren. Yanling Daoren was a legend, a myth . A powerful cultivator who had stood in front of the door of immortality but never managed to pass its threshold. Besides the immortal Baoshan Sanren, he was known to be the most powerful cultivator that had lived - ever .

   Many had said that the Wen Sect Leader, Wen Ruohan, had come close, but even he could not hold a candle to Yanling Daoren. 

  The same legend was walking beside him now, who had basically scolded him like a child, who had stood silently beside his brother as his instrument, and who was now suppressing all those people. He had them all right where he wanted. 

  And he had been soft, gentle, and kind with his nephew and the other children. What could have happened to a powerful cultivator like Yanling Daoren for him to descend into madness and die the way he did? Hunted down..

  "You've had all of us under tight ropes. Are you not worried about leaving them to scheme?" Jiang Cheng questioned.

  Chenqing let out a sharp laugh and sneered as he cut a glance at Jiang Cheng from the corner of his eye. "Do you take me for a fool, little sect leader? There's no need for you to worry; of course they will scheme, but even if they schemed for a decade, they could never beat me. Now, let's greet our guests, shall we?" 

  Chenqing allowed Jiang Cheng to take the lead in greeting their guests.

  Chenqinq smiled when none other than Xiao Xingchen looked at him, and his eyes widened in recognition, even though they had never met until now.

  "Shixiong?!" Xiao Xingchen exclaimed.

  "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Shidi. " Chenqing greeted with a smile.

  Xiao Xingchen was more than surprised. This man, this person… was his Shixiong, Yanling Daoren.

   A man that had died long ago, and he had never got to meet in person. His Master was tight-lipped about her first disciple and how he died. All he knew were very limited stories of how good and righteous a cultivator he had been, nearing the peak of immortality until he died, known only as a villain. 

    Xiao Xingchen knew what his shixiong looked like because he had seen his image before at Baoshan Sanren's manor. It wasn't a portrait though. It was as though multiple imprints of his Shixiong's spiritual energy or the remnants of his soul or the left behind memories of his life; lively pale and faint apparitions with varying ages which seemed to haunt different sections of the manor. 

   Though mainly the lively apparitions  of his Shixiong wandered all over, more faint vestiges of his image lingered near and beyond the sealed-off hall where his Shixiong was said to live in when he was a young disciple. His... their teacher, having saved him as an adolescent, took him in and taught him cultivation before he became a young man who wanted to leave their nest and spread his wings. After all he had learned, and after cultivating for some years, he stood indomitable,toeing the threshold of immortality.

    Xiao Xingchen still did not know his Shixiong's story, and his teacher had refused to mention it even though he knew that she must have known it all herself; she was a powerful immortal after all, how could she not? Especially practically raising his Shixiong from adolescence.  

    Baoshan Sanren cloaked and sealed away their mountain from civilians and other cultivators, closing it and the disciples off from the rest of the world. Only disciples could enter, and even then only once, but the moment they chose to leave the mountain and took those steps past the barrier, they would be locked out and exiled forever - never able to return. The disciples that leave are forever bound to their oath to never reveal the mountain's location to outsiders, an oath that binds them to their master forever, an oath that lasts until the day they die. 

   Xiao Xingchen had always dreamed of meeting his legendary older martial brother, despite what was said about him toward the end, and how he was supposedly a villain. He only knew bits and pieces of this person, now gazing at him with a drawn, distantly soft smile. His heart clenched. 

  And… his Shixiong… somehow back from the dead… as a flute named Chenqing… had  called him here to speak of his Shimei, Cangse Sanren, and her son who had gone away just like his mother had. 

  "Now that you and your companion have arrived, Shidi, we should head back. Sect Leader Jiang, what do you say?" Chenqing spoke softly, gesturing for the purple robed sect leader to guide them back.

  "Hmph." Jiang Cheng huffed and stalked away ahead of them as Chenqing and the new arrivals followed quietly. 

  Xiao Xingchen kept sneaking glances at his Shixiong, flushing slightly when the other caught him, their eyes meeting briefly.

Yanling Daoren's stopped, his eyes flickered shut for a moment as a small smile graced his lips. His head tipped down before he looked at his Shidi, a smile still lingering upon his face. 

  "Is there something you wish to say or ask me, little Shidi?" He inquired softly, a spark of warmth in his gaze. He knew his Shidi was a gentle and kind soul.

  How did he know…? Well, after his death, while his soul managed to not shatter into fragments per-se - it was a complicated thing to explain - tiny shard fragments of his soul that had frayed and snapped were lingering all over. Various places he had lingered when he was alive, those that held some sentimental value or that he considered home (at least for a time), his consciousness had spread across and attached to them. Through them, he was constantly aware of things, and which let him remember his existence after death. This could be contributed to being a cultivator who had nearly breached the summit to nearly becoming immortal. That and his resilience.

  He knew of his master's pavilion and how apparitions of himself lingered about there, as he was connected to them - had been since his death - so he had eyes in many places, as though pieces of his very being were engraved into each location.

  Even when parts of his soul had been in a deep slumber, attached to his bones that were buried in Burial Mounds, he remained in the state of being awake and slumbering.

  And then he awoke to the cries of a desperate boy, who had somehow managed to heal some of the scars of his soul that had strayed, stitching them back together, again, unbeknownst to his knowledge.

  And those cultivators gathered really didn't know that he had had eyes everywhere. He had traveled many places as a cultivator, his footsteps having walked many paths. He was not omniscient, not all-knowing, with 'eyes' stretched far and thin during his death. He may have been the second most powerful cultivator, but to his master who was immortal, he had still been human; he was not immortal.

 Even so, he was still probably one of the most powerful, even after being dead and using resentful energy. He had only dabbled in resentful energy before his death, when he sought revenge and had been going mad.  He had nearly fallen into a trap himself during that time…by not knowing what his lover's sect had been up to behind the scenes. 

  Through the apparitions of himself in and around his master's manor, and on the mountain...  Simply looking through their eyes, he had watched his Shidi grow from afar. 

 "Do not fret, little Shidi, you can speak your mind." He assured him. 

  Xiao Xingchen's brow furrowed and he bit his lips, he glanced at the quiet Song Lan walking by his side, and tried to gather his thoughts. 

 There were so many things he wanted to say, to ask but only a few important thoughts stood out.

 Did you know that our Master missed you, mourned you? Even though she would never admit it, even though she will never leave the mountain - closed to us forever. 

 I saw her once, her guard had been slightly lowered as she stared at the phantom images of you that were left behind. I saw her cry for the first time, if ever. 

What happened to you, Shixiong?

Why did you annihilate an entire sect?

Why…did you let them kill you so easily? 

Just what happened to you?

  Xiao Xingchen shook his head, giving a light smile, "It's nothing, Shixiong."

  Yanling Daoren studied his shidi closely, his ruby red eyes shimmering, before he turned and continued forward. "Alright, then we'll let the matter drop for now." 

  The people gathered from the each of the sects had been talking quietly amongst themselves, subdued, while others tried to speak louder and were immediately hushed when Suibian's gaze would turn on them with an intimidating presence; even though he had three children left in his care, he obviously wasn't distracted by it and still kept sharp eyes on them. Their poorly hidden attempts at scheming were cut short with those chilling gazes. Chenqing wasn't the only formidable being. 

  Suibian's sharp gaze when turned upon them was like a fierce top-predator sizing up its prey and debating on either toying with it before eating it or outright slaughtering it and devouring it. If, of course, it hadn't already seized a prey and had its fill beforehand and was simply killing them to leave them to rot. Or it could be described as being the gaze of a hardened general keeping the enemy in their sights, taking in their weaknesses and aiming for a killing blow. 

  Either way, it wasn't pleasant in the slightest; both outcomes were the same, after all. 

 Some watched the children. Baby Jin Ling seemed to have just fallen asleep in Suibian's arms, an act that left many shocked. Seeing the small heir of the Jin sect sleeping peacefully in Suibian's arms while the other two were playing and giggling... Their tinkling, childish laughter was contagious, carefree. 

Innocent.

   Some of the cultivators in the room noticed Suibian's gaze was very gentle towards the children, gazing upon them with a doting expression and a faint smile. 

Yanling Daoren came in behind Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin, two newcomers behind him. 

  Gasps echoed throughout the room as the occupants turned to look at various times. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan?

That's right! Chen-Yanling Daoren said shidi! Xiao Xingchen is another disciple of Baoshan Sanren! Just like Wei Wuxian's mother was! 

 Xiao Xingchen smiled kindly at everyone, greeting the sect leaders. Song Lan gave a nod in greeting.

  Xiao Xingchen studied the room and the cultivators sitting in it and looked at his shixiong, startling as he caught sight of the red-haired man sitting in a bubble with three young children. And then he looked at sect leader Jin, (known famously for their golden robes and vermillion forehead mark), who looked terrible. Both of his legs were broken, from the knees down as he sat, dejected, not moving or making a sound. He looked back at his shixiong who returned his gaze at him. 

  It was obvious the one in control of all this was his Shixiong. He wanted to speak and say something, but instead he bit his lip, keeping the words unspoken.

  Yanling Daoren noticed this, closing his eyes tiredly and sighed. "Shidi, if it's you, you can say what you want. Do you dislike my methods? What I'm doing here? These cultivators besieged our precious Shimei's son, drove him to his death. Have you not heard the rumors, the whispers, or the gloating? And how they also boast about defeating the terrible Yiling Patriarch they labeled him as? Not only was he our precious Shimei's son, but he became my master and I was his flute, Chenqing. I know what he knew, what he saw and felt and more." Yanling Daoren tiredly rubbed at his temples and motioning over his heart and waved a hand over the cultivators in the room as he spoke, "They all claim to be righteous, yet none helped the Wen Remnants, who were just civilians and not even cultivators and instead they mercilessly cut them down, slaughtering them and refusing to give them a proper burial; they just threw their bodies into a blood pool. Is that righteous? Is such an act considered just?"

  Xiao Xingchen was quiet as he studied his shixiong and digested his words. He could not disagree, especially as he studied the other cultivators in the room slowly bow their heads in shame. He turned to Song Lan sitting by his side, a silent sturdy and comforting presence, who also seemed to agree. If he had left his teacher's mountain sooner, and searched for his precious shimei's son, could he have helped him and save him from such a fate, as well as the ones he wanted to protect? 

 Song Lan reached out, placing a warm hand upon his shoulder to comfort him. Xiao Xingchen gave him a grateful smile and turned to look at his shixiong once more. His shixiong was frowning and rubbing his temples and his heart. Was something wrong with him? He looked tired, exhausted. His Shixiong had invited him here to witness their shimei's son's memories up until his death, and he wanted to know all that happened to their shimei's son, but... His shixiong looks troubled and he wonders what happened to his shixiong for him to end up like this… He looked like he was in physical pain . 

 It was also impossible not to notice the tendrils of resentful energy writhing chaotically, but not harming anyone yet. A wave of resentful energy pulsed out of his shixiong as he clutched at the side of his head.

 Yanling Daoren cursed. All the suppressed emotions he thought he had buried from his long-dead past were surging forward; another pang shot through his head. He was in control of himself always, until now. Old memories were being torn from the entombed coffin in his heart as he plainly read the questions and worries in his shidi's eyes. For him.

  What's happening, Shixiong? What pains you so much? What happened to you, shixiong?

  His heart's emotions that had been locked away for so long were beginning to run rampant and fierce, finally free along with memories not forgotten but closed away.

 The crowd of cultivators in the room were startled and frightened, feeling their minds and consciousness being sucked into the violent whirlpool of resentful energy pulsing out of Yanling Daoren, who had collapsed, immobile, to his knees, eyes closed. Xiao Xingchen had scrambled to cradle his shixiong's head in his lap, Song Lan sitting next to him as everyone's consciousness was dragged into memories of the distant past of Yanling Daoren, save for Suibian who looked on with a solemn gaze, and watching and keeping the children occupied. Xiao Xingchen was slumped over sitting up, with his shixiong head resting in his lap and Song Lan by his side as they dragged into the memories as well. 

  Suibian sighed as he gazed at the people slumped over and unconscious throughout the room, caught in his friend's memories. He knew something like this may happen. His friend had lived and died before him in the past; they had never met each other until Wei Ying. He knew of his friend's past, just the same as the other knew his as well. 

Yanling Daoren had suppressed emotions for far too long himself, Wei Wuxian's memories and this whole situation was like a trigger, and the resentful energy responded to those intense emotions. And everyone else dragged in by Empathy, which is basically what this was. 

  He would keep an eye on them until it was over, guarding them and keeping the little ones happy and distracted. 

  The sun shone brightly upon a small poor village. 

  Though somewhat poor, the inhabitants didn't struggle so much. They were content in their home and happy, living simple fulfilling lives. 

   Miles away, a boy trudged from the river, carrying two buckets of water back home though it would take a few hours because of the distance and it would soon be near dark.

  The eleven year old boy whistled a tune on the way back home. He had stopped by many of the villagers' homes to help them with whatever they needed. The sun had just set over the horizon when the boy made it home.

  He heard loud noises coming from inside followed by terrible screams that scared him. He rushed inside and foze, ice curdling the blood in his veins.

  Yanling Daoren was horrified.  

  His father had blood running down his face, hands and feet bound by rope and his mouth covered. His father saw him and pleaded with tears in his eyes to run, run, run. 

   His mother and sisters were being held down by big buff men, and the rest of the men stood by and leered with sinister laughter.

  And his baby brother…

Oh..oh.. 

The boy, Yanling Daoren choked, tears stinging his eyes, frozen at the scene before him. 

His baby brother had been…

He - he was so small…. And th-they- they tortured and killed him. 

His little brother's form was barely recognizable on the floor. Severed pieces of his small body lay in bloody pools and his stomach was disemboweled, his entrails spilling out. His mouth opened in a silent scream and those little glassy eyes stared in frozen terror at nothing. 

  Yanling Daorens mother was screaming and clawing at the men on her, tears streaming down her face. 

Anger filled him at these animals and how they hurt his family.

He didn't know what to do but his body moved on it's own all of the sudden, having picked up his fathers discarded axe with strength he hadn't known he had and swung at the back of one of the men.

"Oh! Ho-ho! Looks like we forgot one, eh? Look at this little runt! Hahaha!" One of them cackled on the side. There were five men and two came up and grabbed him after he swung the axe at one of the companions doing disgusting things to his mother as he and his father were forced to watch.

 Yanling Daoren howled, kicking and screaming in their grasp as they bound him and tied cloth around his mouth, binding his hands and feet together. His face swung harshly to the side as he was backhanded across the face.

His twin six year old sisters were crying out for him, 'Gege, help us! Gege, help!!', tears falling down their faces with their hands outstretched toward him every time they struggled. 

He shook and jerked against his restraints, his screams muffled by the gag. 

The men laughed and mocked them, taking turns with his mother and sisters with grunting and groans of pleasure as the men forced themselves onto them, sickening lewd sounds of flesh sliding and slapping together accompanying the moans and grunts of pleasure they released as the men pounded into their bodies of his mother and sisters. His younger sisters had stopped struggling, each of their eyes carrying a far off glassy look in their eyes they were defiled and brutalized, their body fondled by rough calloused hands on them and further below. 

 He and his father struggled against their restraints desperately with muffled shouting. They were forced to watch and could do nothing. Yanling Daoren was forced to have a front row seat to see his mother and sisters abused, slapped around and being repeatedly raped in turns by these selfish disgusting men. 

'A-Niang! No! Stop! Leave them alone! Sisters! Stop! STOP IT!!'

His mother still tried to struggle and fight against them, her desperate teary eyes finding him and seemingly apologising to him and saying I love you silently as though she knew here end was close, even when she was suffering the most..that her eldest, kind hearted child was forced to witness these atrocious acts.

Yanling Daoren cried out for his mother, sobbing and fighting his restraints.

Why?! Why was he so weak?!

The leader of the men sneered at him, leering and mocking.

"Did you have a good look, boy? Wasn't it fun to watch, hm? Such a pretty woman, your mother and such a voluptuous, pleasing body. Your sister's were growing ripe. Such pretty little flowers they are." He laughed, yanking on Yanling Daorens hair and forcing him to watch more and look on as his mother and sisters took his men in their bodies for a 'good ride'. 

The leader whistled, signaling that their 'playtime' was over. The men pulled up their pants, buckling them with grins and laughter. Yanling Daoren glared at them hatefully and the leader watched on with a snide smile. He went up to Yanling Daoren's mother, pulling her exposed naked and bruised body into his arms with a smirk, a hand wrapped around her throat, his sisters were wrenched up by his men, in the same state as his mother, if not worse.  A dagger was held in one hand by her throat. The leader flicked out his tongue and dragged it along her cheek as she flinched and shuddered away. 

 'Leave her alone! STOP! You've done enough! LET MY FAMILY GO!!'

Yanling Daoren wanted to scream, wanted to hurt them. His mother shook her head, and gave him a soft smile. He sobbed heavily, wishing he could reach out to his mother. 

'A-Niang …'

"Well, this has gotten boring." The leader sighed, motioning to his men with his hands before he took his dagger and dragged it slowly across his mothers throat, cutting deeply through the flesh. Blood immediately spurted, spraying from the deep cut though his mother's neck, coating her naked body crimson.

Her sad eyes said to his father and him, 'I love you, A-Ren' , before life drained from them and she dropped lifeless onto the ground.

'Gege! Gege! ' his sister's eyes called out to him as their throats were also slit, the blood soaking their bruised naked bodies as the blood sprayed out until they too collapsed lifelessly to the ground. 

Yanling Daoren thrashed wildly, screaming behind the gag as his body was breaking down into sobs. He screamed until his throat hurt and was sore, his sobbed and cried until his tears seemed to dry up and he watched the men who invaded his home and destroy his family cut up the bodies of his mother and sisters, turning deaf ears to his muffled screams and cries.

His father looked like a husk of the man he once knew, staring at his mother and sisters bodies being hacked with glassy eyes.

His father looked at him and they stared at each other.

'Survive,' his fathers eyes seemed to say, 'for our sake . This is it for me too. May we meet again, my son. I love you.'

No! No! Don't leave me behind! 

Yanling Daoren pleaded with his eyes, tears soaking his face. His father gave him a sad smile. 'It'll be okay, A-Ren, ' his father's eyes gleamed with unshed tears, as his father spoke his final words to him when the men ripped the gag off.

I love you, A-Ren .

"A-die!' Yanling Daoren tried to scream. 

Yanling Daoren could only watch as they cut out his tongue, mocking his father's last words to him and they severed his father's head from his shoulders.

Blood sprayed him as his fathers head hit the floor with a heavy sickening thump and rolled to a stop by his knees. His fathers eyes stared up at him, eternally glazed over and blank, the life in him snuffed out.

Yanling Daoren stared back into those eyes, even knowing his father could no longer see him because he was already gone. 

Cruel laughter rang in his ears.

"Aw, look at this brat!" A cackle.

The leader came forward and knelt before him once more, snatching his chin in the other's grip, and his head was turned from side to side.

"This brat is young but he's a looker. Quite the pretty boy. We can sell him for a large sum. What do you say, boys?" The men hooted and agreed. Greedy for money.

"Maybe if you live long enough after this, boy, you can come find me if you want revenge." The man smirked down at him.

Yanling Daoren stared silently, glaring. 

They just laughed at him and grabbed him up.

Yanling Daoren was in shock after being forced to watch his family be tortured and butchered before his very eyes with his gaze locked on the bloodied bits and pieces of his family's corpses on the floor of his childhood home while the men said they would sell him for a hefty sum of money; Yanling Daoren was unresponsive, his brain was a cacophony of 'No! No, no, don’t! Please no!', as his mind's eye kept replaying his family's deaths. 

As Yanling Daoren was forcefully  dragged from his home, from his family, he could only watch as the people he deemed monsters in human flesh set his childhood home ablaze. 

Yanling Daoren only watch his house burn and burn in the night, slowly becoming smaller as the distance grew as he was taken by his captors; his gaze locked on his childhood home as it became like a tiny candlelight in the darkness as he was dragged further away, until it became a speck of dust on the horizon as the sun rose that day.

The bodies of his family left behind to burn. 

Yanling Daoren knew, deep down, that this wasn't the end for he made a silent vow.

One day… one day he would day he would kill these men, these bandits. He would have his revenge, his pound of flesh; with every drop of blood he swore to make them bleed out. 

   The bandits sold him to a merchant that had a penchant for selling children for money. Once the bandits got their payment after delivering him, they were gone. 

   The merchant had his subordinates put iron manacles around his wrist and ankles, and hung a for sale sign  around his neck and branded him with the markings of a slave by a fire stoker to the back of his neck. 

The smell of his own flesh burning like cooked meat and the blistering intensity of the pain, the heat scorching him made him nauseated. 

They put a collar with a chain linked to it around his neck, like a dog put on a leash. A pet. A slave. 

 The merchant tried to 'train' him, to groom him so he could please his next buyer, his new master. 

He fought and struggled though he never won. 

He was shoved into a small cramped cage and told he was to stay there until his new master came, his new 'owner'. 

Five days. Five days with meager scraps of food and small cup water, trapped in a cramped cage and his new 'master' had arrived.

He was a filthy rich man with a very high and prestigious status by the look of how he held himself and his brand of clothing. 

Yanling Daoren had been sold by bandits just a few days ago. 

The man spoke, "This is him? Quite the little beauty he is. He must be fresh." 

"Ahaha, well, yes. He is a newly acquired slave. In peak condition. We… tried to train him but...he's a defiant one." The merchant laughed nervously, fiddling his hands together.

"Indeed. He has fire burning in his eyes. I like them with a little fire in them." The man replied, passing the payment in a thick pouch of money, meaning he preferred strong and defiant children compared to meek and compliant ones.

 Yanling Daoren just watched them silently with disgust, seeing the merchants eyes light with glee, his greedy money grubby hands reaching out eagerly for the payment. He hurriedly thanked the rich tall man and scurried off with his money. 

The man stalked forward, high class boots thudding loudly against the ground until the man crouched in front of his cage. Yanling Daoren bristled to hide the need to flinch back from the look in the man's eyes. 

The man smiled at him and came close to the bars of the cage and whispered only for Yanling Daoren to hear, even if no one else was around. 

"I'm going to have so much fun breaking you, my pet. So much fun." 

The nightmare that had become his life only darkened, only just beginning. 

 Yanling Daoren's small, cramped cage was traded for a larger more extravagant beautiful cage; but a cage nonetheless. 

His 'Master' fed him upon their return to his abode, watching him closely. Yanling Daoren ate slowly and with caution. He was only eleven but he wasn't stupid. His A-die had once been a brilliant man and started teaching and educating them since the moment he and his sisters could talk and walk at the same time. 

  He was a quick learner for being so young, and good at reading and spelling and writing. This man was just another monster wearing a human face with human skin. 

 For the first couple of days, his 'master' didn't call for him, did not come for him, nor do anything to him. The mansion was silent. Yanling Daoren stayed in his new room as much as he could to stay away from the man and avoid him, a sense of foreboding stirring in his stomach. 

It was a whole two weeks before the man decided to stop playing the invisible game of cat and mouse with his presences constantly lorded over Yanling Daoren. 

The new nightmare had finally begun. 

Yanling Daoren found his master enjoyed inflicting pain. His 'master' enjoyed trying to break him. The first time he dragged Yanling Daoren to his bedroom and threw him down on the bed. Fear raced through Yanling Daoren's veins as he scrambled up to run but his master grabbed his arm with an iron grip. 

  He fought back hard, knowing what came next, images of his mother and sisters being tormented in such a way. He knew what this man was after, why he was bought and sold to him in first place. 

"I love it when you struggle, pet. Did that pig tell you my name?" He questioned Yanling Daoren.

Yanling Daoren pressed his lips together, refusing to answer even though it was in fact the truth.

 The man smiled. "Good. From this moment on, you are no one. You are my pet, my possession. You will do as you're told or face the consequences. You are nothing. You are mine. You will know me as your Master, will call me as such . Understood?" 

Yanling Daoren sneered and spat in his face. The man gave a feral grin.

"The hard way it is then, pet. Don't break too soon before we've had our fun. That would be such a pity for you to break so soon without me being able to enjoy your fire for a little while."

He shoved Yanling Daoren onto the bed, strapping him down to the bed frame. 

"Let's have fun, hmm?" 

Yanling Daoren yanked on his restraints, glaring at the man taking off his clothes and straddling him.

Yanling Daoren cursed in anger as he onced heard his father do. He was afraid and angry and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Fuck you!" He bared his teeth.

His 'master' laughed aloud. "No, pet, that's what I'm about to do to you. Where did you learn to say such things?" 

He had taken off Yanling Daoren's clothing and his own already and was still currently straddling him. The man's body was heavy on his and he couldn't move as he caressed his body.

A stray tear suddenly fell from his eyes. The man leaned forward, his chest pressing to Yanling Daoren's body and licked the tear off his cheek. 

"Tell me, pet, do you know how to kiss? I would suppose not, being so young. That's alright. I'll show you all sorts of pleasurable things."

His 'master' brushed his thumb over Yanling Daoren's bottom lip and dipped into his mouth. Yanling Daoren bit down on the finger between his teeth. 

His head whipped to the side as he was backhanded hard across the face, tasting blood on his lips with a hiss.

"Now, now. Pet, I told you. I like little spitfires but if you don't behave you'll be punished." His 'master' spoke in a chiding tone. 

Yanling Daoren squeezed his eyes closed and turned his face away as the man did what he wanted with his body and was unable to stop him.

The man wasted no more time and lined his body with his, inserting himself inside Yanling Daoren's body forcefully. The pain was so intense he screamed and cried, trying to wriggle away with no avail. When the man pushed himself in and out of his body, Yanling Daoren had felt his hole tear down there where the man was pounding his body inside him and he felt a small trail of blood trickling down his leg. 

Yanling Daoren bit his lips wanting to cry out. He couldn't stand watching the man… enter him. It hurt. Such a foreign and strange feeling that was painful and hurt so much. 

His master grunted as plowed into Yanling Daoren opening, getting as deep in as he could go with his rigid member, pounding into his small body fiercely. 

He didn't want this. Any of it. 

He wanted his family back. He wanted to come home to his smiling parents and little siblings jumping up to hug him.

Yet, here he was. Family dead and gone. Sold like an object and being invaded and defiled by a man. 

He wanted to go home.

But he no longer could, even if it was possible.

He had no home to return to. 

The man kept groaning and grunting and calling him, 'such a good, beautiful pet," and continued taking what he wanted until he seemed to finish.

Yanling Daoren felt a warm stream of fluid suddenly jet into him, seeming to fill up the insides of his behind and flinch when his 'master' slowly pulled out, the sticky substance leaking out of him. "Good pet, look at how well your body takes my come and my cock," his 'master' spread apart his legs to get a better look when he lifted up his bottom, "your little hole was made for me." 

The man chuckled, and pushed a finger into his hole and wiggled it around, coating his own come on his fingers before placing them near Yanling Daoren's mouth. "Taste my come, pet." Yanling Daoren shook his head refusing. 

   The man chuckled, putting his fingers into his own mouth and sucked off the come before bending down and taking the Yanling Daoren's mouth with his own and thrusting his tongue inside with hus come on it and gliding and sucking on Yanling Daoren's tongue, hands framing his face so he couldn't break away as his 'master' forced him to taste his come. 

Yanling Daoren bit down on the man's tongue, forcing him to wrench back.

"Why you…" He stared at Yanling Daoren. "Pet, I warned you. Now you must be punished." 

He got up and undid Yanling Daoren restraints on the bed frame and yanked him after him and into another room. 

'The playroom.' 

All kinds of 'instruments' hung on the walls and what looked like stale, dried blood on a pale hard floor. 

Yanling Daoren was bound around the wrist in chains that hung from the ceiling and the man pulled out a long black barbed whip. His chest heaved as his heart thudded in his chest. 

Yanling Daoren tried to brace for the pain that came with the first lash of the whip but it was fierce and biting into his flesh, blood trickling down the back of his naked body. He was screaming and kept trying to move away from the lashes but it made it worse with each new lash. He howled and screamed until he sobbed. 

It hurt so much. So much. His back was on fire it felt like and his blood dripped onto the floor.

He was freed from the restraints and fell to the floor, crying from the pain. He saw black spots dart across his vision until he passed out.

He opened his eyes, realizing he was lying in a bed and his back was in a lot of pain.

He could feel that he had bandages on his back and noticed he was wearing clothes again.

He was alone in the room for now, so that meant he was safe for now.

And then he heard the door open. He spoke too soon.

"Pet! You're awake! Thank goodness! You had me worried there," His 'Master' chuckled, coming toward him.

"I'm sorry, pet, I got… a bit over excited, but we have plenty of time." 

"I hope you've learned your lesson. Have you learned your lesson, my pet?"

Yanling Daoren stared at him blankly, hatred filling his heart.

"Yes, Master. I learned my lesson." Yanling Daoren spoke, unable to keep a hint of the bitter anger and hate in his heart out of his tone. However, his master pretended not to notice.

"Then you and I will get along quite well from now on!" His master smiled, sitting close to him. 

Yanling Daoren closed his eyes, and didn't speak. 

'That will never happen.' 

 Yanling Daoren's master enjoyed inflicting pain. He took pleasure in it. He could get himself off on it. Yanling Daoren kept fighting him, even after brutal punishments, even though it hurt so much and he was so afraid. He didn't want to give that man the satisfaction of him giving up and giving in. 

He remembered happier times with his family to help get him through it and kept his vow of revenge for their torment and deaths close to his heart. 

No matter how painful it was, how scared he was, he refused to give in. 

His master forced him to to have sex with him every morning or every night.

The punishments were always cruel and harsh when he was deemed a 'bad, misbehaving pet,'. And were still terribly painfully each time and each time he gained another scar whenever he refused to obey and fought back. Beaten and forced to starve without food or water when he was shoved into a windowless pitch-black room for days sometimes. 

One day his Master invited his friends over, preening around with a stark naked Yanling Daoren crawling around on the floor like a pet, an animal on a leash; a thick chain hooked to the black collar around his neck. He had been forced to kneel and crawl on the ground for a week and it's been days since he had food or water.  

 His friends had the same preferences and tendencies as his 'Master', who had allowed them to 'play with him' and enjoy themselves.

And they did, much against Yanling Daorens will, which none of them cared about. They took turns and sometimes more than one joined and the would take turns 'fucking him in his pretty little mouth' as they worded it or his 'cute little ass'. 

  He was forced to beg for food, to beg for water or go without either for days a punishment, and he always had to say, "Master". Once his Master strung him up in the, suspended by chains and his friends each took what they wanted, their pleasure and using his body to obtain it. 

  They also sometimes brought their own little slaves but they took enjoyment in breaking Yanling Daoren down even more - they enjoyed taking him with their bodies, inserting their cocks into him and seeking release in his body and sometimes they used 'toys' and inserting other foreign objects into him and choking him, groping him for their pleasure as his Master sat back and watched, enjoying the 'show.' His master would start the main 'feast' (meaning him) of the evening and his friends followed suit.

Yanling Daoren snapped, something inside him breaking, splintering. He withdrew into himself. He stopped fighting. He just… stopped. 

He went to a faraway place in his mind and became like a docile, emotionless doll. 

His Master became incensed and tried punishments to get a reaction out of him. Nothing worked.

He was disconnected yet aware. His Master was disgusted and found him boring. To his Master, he was 'damaged goods', less than nothing. His master passed him onto his friends as a 'gift', so that they could have their ways with him.

And they did, but it grew boring for them too, because he was broken and considered damaged goods and no longer responded to them except for a monotonous "Yes, Master" accompanying every sentence from his mouth like a broken toy, obeying their every whim and compliant. 

It was no longer fun now that their favorite beautiful toy had shattered like a porcelain doll. 

They sold him to the most well-known brothel in town, even if it was still on the poor side. It was the only brothel in town. Yanling Daoren vaguely heard them saying 'good riddance' when he was taken away to the brothel just after he turned fifteen. 

   In the beginning after being sold to the brothel with the Madam who ran the place willing to take him in, and upon seeing him and his body's current condition, she gave him a room and called for a healer to check on him.

 Salve was gently rubbed over his raw scars, still not fully healed, and other medicinal herbs and concoctions were forced upon him. They managed to get the manacles on his body off of him and had to carefully remove his collar - to do all this they had unfortunately had to hold him down when he struggled to fight them because they were too close and he was hurt and vulnerable. They had to hold him down and check his bottom and apply medicine to the abused back passage and make sure there were no infections. 

 Yanling Daoren trusted no one, and with good reason. 

Damaged. Broken. A shell of a boy could be seen but that was all. 

After the healer saw to it that he had been taken care of left and promised to come back and check up on him. 

The moment the healer left, Yanling Daoren eyed the women who stood around his bed whispering and studying him.

The Madam shooed them away and they left, waving at him and giving him kind smiles. 

The Madam had food brought to him and finally left him alone. 

 Time seemed to pass slowly. The Madam told him eventually he will have to earn his keep to stay here but after had healed and was in a better state inside his heart and mind, so she didn't send any 'customers' his way. 

  Usually, she told him, she didn't have children take customers until they were old enough and made the choice of whether or not to do so. She was against small children doing such things - she wasn't a heartless Madam. Fifteen and older, she gave the adolescents a choice to stay and earn their keep. She had a place to run and other mouths to feed in her brothel and little small children that ran around in the village that lived on the streets because they didn't have parents. 

    She told Yanling Daoren, she would let him decide, especially after his ordeal and she would make one exception, just this once - to let him stay and simply do chores and errands, and help take care of feeding everyone and the children that lived on the streets and or to take customers when he felt ready and allow him stay since he had nowhere to go and no one else to return to.  

Once he could move freely without pain, in the beginning he did chores and took care of errands here and there and helped to feed everyone but still kept his distance and refused to talk much.

However, he slowly started to warm up to them. 

The sellers and villagers took pity on him and they were kind to him and he helped them with their chores sometimes or other things they needed help with. 

He slowly started to open up, the light coming back in his eyes and he even slowly started smiling and talking low. 

He would play the little children in the village, had taken a liking to it and seemed very soft and gentle towards them, very good at handling them. The children loved and adored him. He would find books to learn and teach himself things he did not know and he would teach himself to play instruments of music with villagers that liked to play melodies and tunes. 

He found a secret little flowery meadow behind the brothel, kept someone, though he never saw that person. The children would follow him and they would lay under the big tree that sunlight would dapple through and shine brilliant light upon the green meadow and its flowers.

 "Gege!" They would call out, asking him to tell them a story. He did. Or they'd ask him to read aloud to them and tell them made up stories,or they asked him to teach them to read, or to play with him. "Gege!" They would cheer, and laugh, showing him big bright smiles and his heart warmed, healing more little by little when those little children clasped his hands with theirs and he'd smile back. 

And sometimes, he would lay in that little secluded glassy meadow with the children lying close to him and they would all point in awe at the sky and determine the shapes of the fluffy clouds, shrouded in warmth and security. 

How beautiful it was, and the most peaceful he had felt in a long time, since once in the warmth of his mothers comforting embrace.

His body healed, scars littering his body from the neck down, and thankfully hidden by his robes; though, it didn't deter the customers he had been taking, because lean, willowy shape of his body and his androgynous features and creamy pale skin, the curves of his hip and the plump cheeks of his ass. He was nearing age sixteen, but not too closely yet even though he was pretty tall now. 

 The madam had given him choice of receiving customers or not, having already told him he would still have a place to stay, since he had become part of their family after helping and making sure he healed well and had the healer to check up on him, the Madam wasn't cold enough throw him out.

Nonetheless, they were struggling, and still from the poor side of the village. They had mouths needing to be fed, especially the children on the streets who looked up to him and loved him. He played with them and had been teaching them to write and read alongside himself, and he made sure to buy them warm clothing in the cold season and made sure food made it into their hungry stomachs and patched up their scratches and wounds as the healer had taught him. 

Everyone needed him and so he had the Madam help train him to lure and be seductive. She knew the gruesome details of what happened to him when he had nightmare and wouldn't couldn't wake up but once he did, he broke down in tears and she was there to comfort him, as were the other women who were hurriedly dressed in their robes and apologized sheepishly, for listening in and begged his forgiveness. They were just worried about him. And some that had children so when they all piled into his room to be there and sit by side as he cried his heart out and told them everything. And he got to listen to each of their stories, they had all been through a lot too, a few similar to his situation but different. They didn't share blood, but these women, the kids - the brothel even had become his family and home.

He settled into his role like second skin, becoming a 'favorite' of the customers that came to the brothel, men and women alike and they paid a huge sum every time when they left satisfied. The money was used to fix up the brothel, to keep everyone clothed and fed with a roof over their heads. 

Yanling Daoren smiled at the children surrounding him, smiling at him with happy full bellies, no longer looking famished and malnourished.

'Things were looking up, finally'.

Yanling Daoren smiled at a customer as he led the other man to a more private area. 

Grimy hand held tight to him, groping his body.

Yanling Daoren's left eye and lips twitched briefly before smoothing out, his expression remained calm.

Now in his private room, the other man dropped to his knees eagerly and Yanling allowed the other to unrobe him and take the pleasure he so desired, using his body.

The other man's hands wrapped around his cock, palming him and sliding his hands along the hard ridges.

Yanling Daoren moaned, spurning the other on. Yanling Daoren hissed as his cock was enveloped by an eager wet mouth. The man licked and sucked on him, bobbing his head to take Yanling Daoren's cock into his mouth as deep as it could go as he sucked and fondled his sack.

Yanling Daoren shuddered, letting himself succumb to the pleasure rising in him and he fucked the man's mouth with his cock, hips snapping back and forth, sliding in and out of the hot mouth eagerly sucking him and taking everything he could, seeking his own release. 

When they both finished and cleaned themselves up, separating, (though he never enjoyed the times he spent with customers, his body belied him. Betraying what his mind desperately rejected. The feelings of arousal and pleasure. It made him feel ashamed and disgusted with himself that he couldn't control his body's physical or physiological reponses to stimulations of pleasure when having sex).

The man had gotten what he paid for so he was satisfied. Yanling Daoren watched the other leave, not even going to see him out and rubbed his face tiredly. 

Sometimes the men that paid to spend an hour or more with him, or a whole night; some were kind, but some… were not, as of late. But he didn't alert the Madam because he didn't want to burden her so he kept his silence. It was nothing he couldn't handle.

He didn't have to take customers as often as he used, which was a reprieve because they were not struggling as terribly as they had been when he had first got here. They were better off, able to afford some food and good clothing and to maintain the brothel so it doesn't turn into shambles of a mess. 

Only two years had passed since he ended up in the brothel at fifteen and he was nearing the age of seventeen, his birthday was a little over a week away. 

He never forgot his 'master' and his friends that used him for sex for years from.when he was eleven until he turned fifteen. It had never been consensual nor what he wanted. And when he fought back he was beaten and tortured, locked in a cage, or shoved into a dark room with no light for hours. Starved for weeks. Forced to wear a collar hooked to a chain and walk around naked on all fours like a dog and forced to eat scraps. His flesh carved into and bearing many scars. Or chained to a bed while things were done to him by one or more persons.

How could he forget? He had scars that served as a reminder every time he looked into a mirror. 

He learned to adapt back then as he broke from their abuse and he stopped fighting back, at least until he was in a better position, until they sold him here. To this brothel, that had become home to him - no matter what outsiders would think. 

He decided to go to the little meadow and relax since he would have the rest of the day off. 

He yawned. He was kept up late last night with two customers and the one after that this morning. Usually customers only came at night and were lively, but sometimes, they were allowed different times of the night or day with someone to service them, having reserved the spot ahead of time and were top paying customers.

"Morning, A-Ren! Looks like someone was up late last night!" One of the ladies called out to him on the street and giggled with her friends, He chuckled without replying and simply waved good-naturedly at them. Many of the villagers called out friendly hello's as he rounded the back of the brothel, and into the bushes towards the meadow.

He stopped when he heard a twig snap, and whispered arguments of children who 'thought' they were being quiet and sneaky, while he felt their attention was distracted, he quickly and quietly moved to creep up from behind them.

"Shh! Look! Where did Ren-gege go?" 

"Ow. Stop hitting me! Why did you hit me?"

"Where do you think he went? Thought we had him this time."

"Uhh yeah... If it weren't for someone not being careful and stepping on the stupid twig, dummy!" A little girl snarked.

Yanling Daoren stayed in the shadows of the bushes and trees as he listened to them bicker with a quiet laugh.

Leaves rustled.

"Shut up! Shh! Did you hear that?" 

Confused voices of children echoed in their whispers. "You're an idiot, you're hearing things. We need to find Ren-ge-" The little girl scuttled back with a shriek and other children screamed when Yanling Daoren snuck up and and leapt onto the children, saying in a sing-song voice, "~Caught you!~

They all fell in a tangled heap, looking to their Ren-gege who winked at them and chuckled and they looked back at each other and burst into fits of bright laughter.

"Ren-gege! That was so mean! You scared us!" A little girl pounced on him for a hug and pouted up at him with big doe eyes. 

He arched a brow at all of them, smirking. "Mmhmm. Riiiight. The same thing you were planning to do to me, right?" 

Little giggles rang through the group of children, followed by sheepish guilty expressions.

He grabbed the girl hugging onto him, and tossed her high in the air, she squealed with surprise and delight, and he caught her. "That's what I thought." He laughed, leading and herding the gaggle of kids around him to the meadow to settle down beside him. 

It was nice, warm and sunny with a nice cool breeze drifting by ever so often, making Yanling Daoren's long thick obsidian hair sway gently in the wind. He allowed one of the smallest children to lay in his lap and one wanted to braid his 'long and thick soft black hair,' which he consented to. The rest of them all lay on their sides, backs, or stomach's. 

They must have had a rowdy start way early this morning to be so peaceful and calm this early in the day. 

Yanling Daoren sighed to himself with a soft smile, 'what am I going to do with them?' 

The feeling of his hair being braided was a comforting feeling, and the girl seemed to be really good at braiding and was enjoying herself with braiding his hair. 

"Ren-gege?" One of the children asked.

"Hmm?" He hummed in response, at ease. 

"Can you sing for us today? We want to hear you sing, your voice is so beautiful Ren-gege… like… like an Angel. I think that's it. ....please???" They pleaded. 

Yanling Daoren gave an exasperated sigh, giving them a soft fond smile. 

"Alright." He nodded.

They clapped and cheered before hurrying to settle down and get comfortable.

His voice flowed out like a gentle river, soft like the breeze when it caressed the skin; not too light but not too deep or harsh and was smooth as silk and velvet that still carried a hint of raspiness. 

   He sang until the song came to an end, his voice low and soft, as looked down at the children with a small smile. 

They were all curled around him and each other, sound asleep.

He finished singing, relaxed against the thick bark of the tree behind him that shielded him from the rays of the sun and closed his eyes, and drifted into a deep sleep.

     Yanling Daoren's face was pressed into the bed, on his knees with his ass in the air as the man from behind gripped his hips and kept pounding his cock inside of him with deep hard thrusts, lewd slick sounds of skin smacking together and the mans cock plunging into his hole, already filled with come from the customers earlier release. Yanling Daoren could feel the come dripping down his legs when the man pulled his cock out before slamming back in.

The man grunted with each fierce thrust of his hips that rocked and jostled Yanling Daoren's body as he kept driving that cock deeper. 

Yanling Daoren couldn't stop his inner walls from gripping onto the thick rigid heat sliding in and out of his back entrance. He hated this but his body responded to be fucked and used this way, his body easily aroused and compliant. Moans and hoarse cries involuntarily left his mouth at his own arousal and the continuous mounting pleasure as the man fucked his hole with his warm, rigid cock.

The head of the man's cock stroked and rubbed against the bundle of nerves inside him, hitting his prostate, bringing him the climax as the man's thrust lost rhythm as he groaned and jetted the release of more of his come inside Yanling Daoren hole. 

Yanling Daoren's body shuddered with his own release and his body became lax. 

He wanted to curse himself. He hated having sex with others for money and hated it when it felt really food. 

Living in an impoverished village where it was a struggle to.live well and barely any means of finding good, honest work that pays well, other selling your body to others.

He brought in money for everyone, he helped the children and others to keep nice clothes and for everyone to be well fed.

No matter if hated it, if he refused...what then? They were women at the brothel who had customers that paid them alright but it was never really enough and wouldn't last long when there were always things needing to be fixed, or food to be bought and more clothes for everyone. 

Mostly men, and sometimes women wanted Yanling Daoren, he was always a favorite flavor they liked to 'taste' have spend their nights with, because of his beautiful facial features and lithe and lean, plump body with curves and creamy fair skin - despite the scars that marred his neck, down to his ankles. 

Everyone in the village loved him, relied on him, and needed him. 

So he shoved his own feelings down and his own thoughts aside for their sake and continued to sell his body. It was one of the things he did best (and wasn't proud of). Even though he grew more disgusted with himself and hated himself for doing the things that made his stomach sick and caused him to throw up after the pleasure had long faded and he was alone, having served the customer well. 

He would recall the torture and forced sex his master had forced upon him and it made him feel even more nausated and disgusted with himself. 

   He did not hate nor was disgusted by the women he'd come to know at the brothel, who had been there for them. While outsiders would be disgusted by them and disrespect them as though they were less than human, he respected them a lot. They all had suffered through hardships and they were strong willed and kind, and most of them didn't have a choice either, or they just couldn't see any other way and it was all they knew. He admired their strength, surviving..

But he...he just couldn't feel the same way. He didn't feel strong… he felt weak and cowardly, especially reminded of the time spent with 'Master'...

If he was truly strong… why couldn't he have stopped all that from happening to him? Why couldn't he have saved his family? 

He really…

"Are you alright? Sorry if I was rough and took it a bit too far."

Yanling Daoren blinked. He must have spaced out, lost in his thoughts. He lay naked, outstretched on his bed and stared at the customer who had already dressed. The man wasn't half bad looking really, he was handsome and he seemed younger than the usual customers. 

"No, I'm fine. Just lost in thought." He assured him. He needed to get up and clean himself and then his bedding. He sighed, pulling himself to sit up but the man put a hand up halting him.

Yanling Daoren blinked.

"Allow me. May I help you wash? And I'll take care of the bedding as well after that. And would you mind making me some tea?" The man smiled.

Yanling Daoren eyed him warily. The customer wasn't threatening. He nodded. 

He really wanted to clean himself from the sticky come on the back of his legs and thighs as quickly as possible.

It could have been said that the customer helping him was strange but he was exhausted so he didn't complain. After he cleaned himself with the customer's assistance, he got dressed in his robes and let the customer take care of his bedding and started making some tea.

He poured the tea gracefully and sat across from the customer who thanked him and for a moment he stared down and heaved a sigh.

Yanling Daoren saw something was weighing on him and sighed internally before coaxing the customer into speaking again.

 The customer told him there was something going around in the nearby villages and that people were dying everyday and that no one knew why. He even mentioned that someone had pleaded for cultivators to come help but they were very busy apparently with other areas or personal matters and the villages around here were too far out of their way and that they had other things on their plates. 

  One cultivator stopped by one of the villages but apparently found nothing amoss and it seemed to sadly be some sort of natural illness and that there was nothing they could do. 

  Yanling Daoren knew cultivators were real. A-Niang had told him how one had once saved her and A-die and he recalled the awe and fascination in her eyes as she would recall the memories. But the villages were not close to any big towns where they amassed, lingering or passing through more commonly. And their sects were in secluded areas away from large populations of civilians - close enough to come help people in need and go on Night Hunts but that was it. 

  His customer sighed heavily, having said his piece and finished the tea and thanking Yanling Daoren for listening to him and taking his leave. 

Yanling Daoren felt some concern but he wasn't all that worried yet, feeling that the other villages were still ways away and had some distance. He felt things would turn out fine. 

There becomes a gradual shortage of food. The grains of food had turned black and everyone who ate it seemed to slowly become sick. Yanling Daoren had to travel and used his money to buy grains of food from a merchant. He distributed the food amongst the villagers, from the children to the elderly.

There still wasn't enough and they ran out of food eventually and customers stopped coming to the brothel when learning that the poor side of the village had become sick, so everyone stayed away. 

Yanling Daoren felt some hope when those that had signs of sickness seemed to be okay, however; Yanling Daoren had caught some kind of sickness himself. He stayed in bed for a couple of days as his body got rid of the sickness.

The morning after he felt the sickness was gone, he got dressed in his robes and left his room, humming.

It was too quiet, no one else in the brothel seemed to be awake, which was extremely unusual. He checked the Madam's office, realizing she wasn't there. He headed to the Madam's room and knocked.

He called for her and received no answer. He frowned. He knocked and called again. No answer.

He apologized to her before letting himself in.

He stumbled, eyes widening as he cried out and rushed toward her still form on the ground. 

He dropped to his knees by her side and reached out a nand and gingerly touched her face. He yanked his hand back, flinching. Her skin was cold. She wasn't breathing.

She was… dead.

Crippling horror tore through him. She had been sick but… he thought she had gotten better.

He hurriedly stood up and rushed from room to room. They were all the same, some dead on the floor, others in their bed and even some in the hallways of the brothel of the area he hadn't checked.

He stumbled in a panic outside, turning his head to an fro and was completely horrified. Shocked. 

He walked to each of the prone, unmoving bodies of people that had become his second family, the children first and shook them desperately and called out their names as he begged them and hoped that they would all wake up and not be dead. 

   He desperately wanted this to be a dream, thinking maybe he was still asleep. He pinched himself first and when that didn't seem to work he slapped himself hard across the face as he chanted, 'wake up! wake up!', over and over. 

'This has to be a dream.' 

He sat on his heels next to two bodies of two children that used to follow him like little ducklings. They were so pale, eyes closed. Their little chests are unmoving. Lifeless. 

  He stared at them and at all people he had come to know, who talked to every day and sometimes sat with, people he helped, who were his friends… and then back at the the children he knew who followed him around everywhere calling him 'Ren-gege' were as they lay dead in the streets, and like all the others, had  bright green vine-like veins crawling up their pale skin. 

He stood up slowly, swayed and stumbled, nauseated, and collapsed on all fours. He dry heaved and gasped for breath, his body shaking as tears slid unbidden down his cheeks while he choked on his cries, the wails and howls of sorrow caged beneath the painful knot in his throat that he struggled to swallow, as though he'd lost his voice. 

He could only stare at them and break down inside, crying silently, too choked up to even scream. His heart shattered once again. 

He stayed that way for a while after, feeling lost and listless. After the cold chill of the morning had passed and his tears had dried up, he climbed to his feet, resolved to bury everyone with his bare hands. 

He inhaled sharply, exhaling a deep shaky breath and started with the body in front of him, deciding to bury the children first. 

He gently, carefully picked up each of  the children one by one, cradling them close and carried their small bodies to the grassy meadow and the big tree and laid them all down softly, next to each other. 

It was a painfully slow and gruelling endeavor, hard on his body that was weak from hunger and grief that seeped into his bones, exhausting him. His hands became raw and torn, his nails blackened by dirt and red with blood with numerous cuts on his hands stinging him.

He buried them all one by one - some in the meadow like he had with children until there was no room, all who had been kind to him, and customers that had lived here, the women of the brothel who took him in and gave him a place to live, to call home among all these people. 

    The unlucky 'rich people' who had been on the poor side of the village he saved until later, burying them in a mass grave when he remembered their cruelty and disrespect. They were lucky he was burying them at all, they better be grateful he doesn't leave them for the wild animals, leaving them to rot.

He marked all the graves of the children and the villagers with their names carved on medium sized stones that he found and had been able to carry back. 

When he was finally finished, he went to the first grave child he had buried that was next to all other graves of the other children, so they could find each other and play together once more and sat down, feeling weary. 

He recalled that child, always jumping around and calling for his attention, who would aften, sneak and climb up the window to his room nearly every morning when they knew he was alone and always gifted him mud cakes and flower pots, with flowers they planted and watered and helped bloom. The child liked to skip around him and offer candy to him with a cheery smile. 

He recalled all of the children, all the things they would make for him or offer to him or how they called out to him with big, bright and shiny trusting eyes, and how they all occasionally asked him to sing songs for them. 

 Tears came rushing forward again, cascading down his face and some stray ones dropping onto his lips, and stinging the cuts he had because his lips were cracked so badly they split until they bled. He felt his face had become pale and shrunken as well, his ribs had sharpened under his soiled with dirt. His arms were dirty with dirt as well as dried blood, and as cut up as his hands were from all the digging. 

He stared at the children's graves, his lip parting to sing one last song for them.

 He sang even when his voice cracked from his sobs, he sang even as his voice grew hoarse and he would pause for a moment, too choked up and had to gather himself before continuing softly, as if he were singing them to sleep with a lullaby. 

   Yanling Daoren paused again, sobbing, his body shaking from the force of his sobs, with tears soaking his face and breaking his voice that the children loved and thought was beautiful, even as he tried to keep singing to the last verse but couldn't say it.

Yanling Daoren wiped away his tears and sagged - collapsing onto his side next to the child's grave. He had no strength to even sit up or move a single limb he was so exhausted, his heart heavy. Black dots darted across his vision as his sight was slowly dimming. 

'Huh. It hurts to move and it's hard to breath and my hunger pains are gone… am I… dying? Ha… and… oh that's right.... It's my seventeenth birthday today… I almost… forgot… how fitting… for me to die… I can join everyone…"

His mind felt sluggish and his grew even darker, he felt his breath wheezing through his body as it struggled to breath, and he distantly felt his heartbeat slowing down, the beats growing too far apart. 

Part of him was okay with dying this way, he was so tired…

But a smaller part of his mind shouted it wanted to live, to not give up… it was his seventeenth birthday! He could fight a little longer… just a bit more!

But his eyes still closed as his breathing came to halt and his heart stopped. 

The darkness finally dragged him into its depths. 

 Yanling Daoren groaned, blinking his eyes open slowly. He exhaled. 

He was alive, somehow. Even though he knew his heart had stopped and yet… he was alive and breathing, his heart beating in his chest. 

He slowly pulled himself into a sitting position. His eyes were blown wide at the stunning view he saw. Cherry blossom trees, branches swaying to the wind.

A field of flowers and really green grass and a crystal blue lake in the distance. The air was crisp and fresh, filling his lungs with ease. Birds chirped at each other. 

He lay in a bed inside a seemingly big, nice cottage with a wide open view of nature. 

 He could tell that while the air was clean and fresh, and gentle… it was different. 

Was he on a mountain? And who saved him for that matter?

He looked to the side by a bunch of bushes and trees surrounding it in a slight distance was a huge, extravagant, and beautifully built pavilion.

Everything in such a neat, clean space. 

"You're awake?" 

His head wrenched towards the sound of the voice. 

A woman in all white, with silver and cold lining her robes, his hair was like silver and starlight and her eyes were endless vast world's. Her features were striking and so young in appearance but he knew she must have been alive for a really, really long time. He blinked owlishly, stumped.

"You - are - wait… you a cultivator right? Who are you?" He stammered blankly.

She walked toward him and spoke with a small patient soft smile. "You are indeed correct. I am a cultivator. My name is Baoshan Sanren, young one."

"You - you saved me?" He was still in shock. He had heard whispers and stories that had made it into their village by people that came by or passed through, and even some customers about the cultivator before him. Baoshan Sanren.

He never expected to be saved by anyone, let alone her , a cultivator that gained immortality who was said to never leave her mountain. 

"I must apologize. I am sorry I came so late. I'm sorry about the people of your village." She spoke kindly.

He flinched and turned his gaze away. "I should be grateful and count myself lucky you even showed up at all I suppose." He stared down at his lap, tears stinging his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. 

"Why did you come?" He asked, his voice coming out a little sharp and rough. 

  She sighed before settling down and slowly explained everything to him. She had caught wind of villages of people getting sick and soon discovered it was a snake yao. She told him what a yao was and what it could do and that there were many different ones. She explained about his village being a casualty of a snake yao passing through and how and why it caused everyone's deaths. She had been hunting the snake yao and following its essence and found his village. She saw rows and rows of freshly dug and pacted graves of the villagers. And she found him, unconscious by one of the graves, and realized his heart stopped and he wasn't breathing, but his spiritual energy, while it wasn't rampant - had not yet faded and it was very willful and strong and gradually fading with his life. He was young and clearly had so much untapped potential to be a cultivator and had clearly suffered a lot.

He deserved a second chance and there was a short window of time for her to bring him back. She acted quickly and brought him back to her cottage on the mountain by the pavilion and made sure he was stable and healing before she left and found the snake yao, and killed it. 

Baoshan Sanren also told him that the villagers didn't die in pain but peacefully, that there was no suffering. 

He couldn't only listen silently as until she finished, with clenched fists, staring at nothing. 

"I see… " He croaked hoarsely, closing his eyes. 

"I am going to offer you a choice."

Yanling Daoren looked at her.

"You can continue your life as normal or become my first disciple and I'll teach you how to cultivate and become an outstanding cultivator. However, once you have become a fine cultivator, should you choose to leave the mountain and venture into the world again - you can never return." 

She stared at him solemnly.

He stared at her, before looking away and thinking it over for a long moment.

Through all his life so far, he'd been powerless to protect and save those he loved and was unable to save and defend himself. 

He turned towards her, staring for a moment into her eyes before replying. 

He bowed to her, "I accept the offer, Teacher." 

She nodded with a smile, "Very well. Let's begin."

  Yanling Daoren, who had been sleeping up in a tree woke up from a ruckus going on beneath him, yawning. He peered down, seeing a woman tied up and being cornered by three men, who looked to be rogue cultivators, wearing no emblem of a sect. 

 "Ouch! Stop! Let me go! Get off me! Ahh!" The woman shrieked in pain, wrenched up by her hair. 

"Stop whining, wench. We haven't even done anything to you… yet." A man snickered with two friends.

"You can't do this! You won't get away with this!" 

The leader laughed. "Says who? You? What can you do? Pfft. You aren't even a cultivator. You're weak." The three men laughed. 

Yanling Daoren rolled his neck, cracking it and stood up on the tree branch and leaped down. His feet landed perfectly flat with a bend in his knees, hitting the ground hard and shaking the earth on impact so hard that it cracked beneath him. 

  He stared at the three startled men before him, head tilted to the side, hair swaying around him. "What about me? I think I can do something. What do you say, hmm?"

He strode forward toward them before disappearing in a flash and reappearing before the young woman and freeing her from her bindings. 

"What the - who the hell are you?" 

 Yanling Daoren snorted. 

"You didn't even sense my presence. I was sleeping up in the tree until you rudely woke me with your harassing of a young woman. You call yourself cultivators but either your fakes or a beginner. You don't deserve the right to ask who I am, especially when you haven't told me your names."

"You-! How dare you call us fakes! We are cultivators!" One of the men defended angrily.

Yanling Daoren gave a derisive look and laugh. "Lousy at best."

"Why you! Bastard!" The short stocky one charged at him with his sword. 

"Oh my…" he sighed, dodging easily, and kicking out a foot to make the other trip and fall face first. He saw the other two charge at him from behind but he disappeared before they could get near and appeared behind them with ease. 

They came toward him to try and attack again but he released his spiritual pressure, which knocked them flat to the ground and no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't stand up or move at all, as though gravity was weighing them down. Sweat slid down their faces from trying to climb to the feet and collapsed yet again. 

"What the fuck are you doing to us, you bastard? Release us!" The leader gritted through his teeth, face red.

"Hmm. Let me think about it… No. I can feel what measly spiritual energy you have, so I can attest that you are indeed cultivators. However, tying up a woman and bringing her into the woods, away from a large population of people - I know what you had in mind for her. Rogue cultivators or a part of a sect, how dare you have the nerve to treat a woman like that and do what you planned for her." Yanling Daoren stood back and watched them with his arms crossed.

"No means no. It's that simple. The lady said no and asked for you to let you go. You mocked her and laughed. And normally, for scum such as yourselves, I kill immediately. I don't waste my breath. I will give you a choice. Leave this place and leave the woman alone and never seek to do what you planned for her to others. If you can make an oath here and now without lying, I'll let you three live. How's that sound?" He looked down on them.

They glared and cursed at him but made an oath and agreed. Yanling Daoren drew his spiritual pressure back in, releasing them.

He turned to the woman who was watching them with wide eyes the entire time. "Ah, I'm sorry about that , miss. I'll help you get back home."

"Oh, um.. it's fine, and yes, thank you. I'm sorry for the trouble, kind sir. Thank you for helping me, I - Oh my gosh! Watch out!" She pointed behind him. He smiled, "Miss, please close your eyes and cover your ears. This isn't a request." 

He turned around, releasing his sword from its sheath. 

The blade glittered and shone brightly. Intricate carvings lined the blade and the hilt, made of pure jade and obsidian stone and all sorts of other material to make it unbreakable and molded into its shape with the breath of fire from a dragon. 

"I don't need to sully my blade with your blood." He caressed the blade with a quiet murmur, feeling it hum in response and start to vibrate and glow with a blinding bright light. As the three men came within a foot of distance between them as though they were in slow motion, three big slashes of light appeared and pulsed through the air and into their three targets. Three heads were severed in an instant and thumped to the ground as blood sprayed the grass near Yanling Daoren's feet. 

He slid his blade back inside its sheath. 

He turned to the woman and held out hand. "Shall we get you home?"

Yanling Daoren chatted with the young woman as he made sure she returned home safely.

Once she was safely at home, he headed into town. He stopped and bought an apple from a vendor and took a bite out of it, standing to the side casually and watching people milling about. 

He was a twenty-four year old man, no longer a small child of eleven. 

  He had cultivated for eight years but it actually felt like 800 years. His teacher, Baoshan Sanren had made it so time flowed differently a bit. His cultivation spiked so high, he was a threshold away from immortality. He refused to cross that step, though even he wasn't sure why himself. 

Baoshan Sanren is the most powerful cultivator and the oldest and she taught him all she knew and more. He was second most powerful, he could say that as a fact but being strong doesn't make him invincible. 

But it made him strong enough, powerful enough to defend the weak and protect the innocent and… 

Finally have his revenge, which hadn't been as satisfying as thought it would be.

He felt numb remembering it.

Yanling Daoren thought back to when he had just come down from the mountain and recalled going after the bandits who destroyed his family and his master, who with his friends - tortured and violated him. Yanling Daoren gathered them all together in one place to have his revenge.

He severed their hands and castrated them and threw them in the mud like the pigs they were as they choked to death on the very same thing they loved to use the most. Their cocks. He cut their tongues out since they loved to speak so much and watched as they choked to death on their castrated members as they bled out.

He made certain no child would ever suffer at their hands again. 

Yanling Daoren freed his old 'master' and friends slaves and sought out people who would help them heal and care for them before he left. 

He returned to the ashes of his childhood home and finally buried the bones of his family, apologizing to them for making them wait for him to return and bury them properly and creating tombstones to place on their graves. 

He planted a flower before their graves and inserted his spiritual energy inside it so that it would last and continue blooming for some time to yet come.

  Yanling Daoren was appalled and horrified at what he saw before his eyes.

"Xu Yanming! What are you doing?!" He called his lover. Their three adopted children were held captive by his lover's companions from his family's sect. Their eyes were big and terrified and their little bodies trembling. Yanling Daoren and his A-Ming had rescued these children and decided to adopt them together, to be a family, since they had no one else.

Yanling Daoren's little girl cried out to him, her two brothers echoing her cries. His heart clenched painfully at their cries.

Yanling Daoren had been away on a case, taking care of a yao wreaking havoc on a village. Once he took care of the yao, he hurried back home to his family. A family he believed was waiting for him to return, he had thought happily, until he found no one there. All except for a cryptic message that lured him all the way here.

"A-Ming! What is the meaning of this? Why are you doing this? This isn't you!" He cried out desperately, hoping to reason with him. 

"You wouldn't understand." Xu Yanming shook his head. "You hid your identity from me for five years! Yanling Daoren, the famous disciple of Baoshan Sanren!" He laughed. "I've been cultivating desperately for a while to achieve your level of cultivation!  You're practically immortal! Look at you! So young and peerless beauty of a jade and you haven't aged at all during the years we spent together!"

In the beginning, for a while, he was allowed to be himself and use his own name but the more people learned of him and that he was a disciple of Baoshan Sanren - they would not leave him alone. Always asking how they could reach immortality faster, what his secrets were, and how to become as powerful as him or always trying to challenge him or ambush him.

So he made up a new name and altered his face with a talisman, just a bit so he wouldn't be recognized and then etched the symbol into his robes. 

He traveled, going to places where people didn't know what he looked like and removed the disguise, while continuing to use the name he made up as a precaution. 

Overtime, he relaxed and had become used to using his second name. 

He met Xu Yanming while on a night hunt and they got along well and became close. 

He never saw Xu Yanming as someone ambitious, envious of others, or greedy. He was always calm and polite, he carried himself well. 

All these years together and this…

"I'm sorry, A-Ming. I didn't mean to hurt you by continuing to keep the truth from you. But this… the kids… there's no reason for you to hold them hostage like this. Let them go, A-Ming." He held up his hands as a symbol of peace and pleaded with his lover, inching closer. 

He was stared at coldly. "You still don't get it. I need immortality! I want to be immortal! To live forever and be powerful! Stay young forever. You have to know a way! You're not immortal but pretty damn close enough so you might as well still be considered one."

"A-Ming, I can't turn you into an immortal. It's a rare thing and pretty much impossible. I don't know how my teacher became immortal, except that it took time and effort and hardship and even then it's still practically impossible." He reasoned. 

"But it is for you!"

Yanling Daoren sighed. "It's not that simple. I'm sorry, I can't help you. A-Ming, you're strong now and you are young still, you have time. In time, maybe I can find a way to help you reach the peak faster to become immortal. My cultivation method I was taught.. isn't for everyone. And it takes years and years and even then.. there is never a guarantee. We'll work it out together. You're not alone, A-Ming. Let the kids go and take my hand." He beseeched him, reaching out with his hand. 

"I lied, you know. I knew who you were from the beginning. I just got close to you because my father asked me too. I never loved you. Everything we had was a lie. My father used his people to search for you and sent me to get close and learn the secret of your cultivation so I could report back to him." Xu Yanming stated, eyes like frost. 

Yanling Daoren staggered back in shock. "You're lying. You're saying that to hurt me. A-Ming, please just stop this!" 

Yanling Daoren tensed when he felt other presences around him, closing in from the shadows. He leaped back, creating distance between him and… children? About a dozen or more children now stood between him and Xu Yanming and his adopted children. 

The disturbing thing was he sensed something was off with them. They were too still and too blank, like empty emotionless dolls.

Puppets. 

"What have you done, A-Ming?! Just what is your sect really up to?" 

"Since you won't cooperate and refuse to, I don't need to answer you. Attack!" He ordered the children his sect had turned into puppets.

Yanling Daoren was dodging left and right. He didn't want to attack and kill a bunch of children that were being controlled so he restrained himself and avoided their attacks and went straight to the source but he collapsed suddenly, unable to move.

'Impossible! Why can't I move?!'

"I added poison into your food, a poison that even one of your cultivation can't easily get rid of and let it build up overtime. Slowly poisoning you, knowing I wouldn't be your match in a fight when the time arrived. This was the only way. The poison should kill you, since it was concocted with a sample of your blood and hair and I siphoned some of your spiritual energy into. If it doesn't kill you then it should  at least cripple and weaken you. You may be powerful but you're not immortal. " Xu Yanming spoke, looking down at him collapsed on his knees, with the puppet children standing still on the side.

   Xu Yanming signaled to the men. "This is where you and I part ways, and this is my 'gift' to you." 

Yanling Daoren watched his children as they were wrenched up by the hair, screaming and flailing and crying out for him until their throats were slit and the blood gurgled and spilled from their throats as the light drained from their eyes. Their bodies were tossed onto the ground, lifeless. 

Xu Yanming stared at their bodies before calling his men and ordering the children to follow him back to his sect, leaving Yanling Daoren behind.

"Nooooo!" Yanling Daoren screamed, sobbing - unable to move to smash his hands into the ground like he wanted to. He could only scream his rage and grief, could only howl to the sky in agony as he sobbed his heart out."No! No! No! Nooo!"

"Ahhhhhh!!!" 

{♢•○●□■•♢}

   It took like what felt forever for his body to diminish the effects of the poison that had accumulated in his body. He didn't have time to waste so it wasn't completely removed, which crippled his strength and movements quite a bit and made it difficult to access his spiritual energy. But it would have to be enough.

He crawled to his children, and gingerly pulled them into his arms and held them tight to his chest.

His tears spilled onto their pale faces as he cried, "I'm sorry," over and over.

He carried them to their family home and buried them. 

He closed his eyes before opening them, unshed tears glimmering and whispered, "I love you,'' to his childrens freshly buried graves, their names carved on a large stone that he erected for them. Carved into his heart as well, along with the names of others he had loved and buried long ago.

He turned his back, footsteps slowly creating distance between them. He had one last sentence he carried in his heart that he left unspoken out loud.

'Goodbye. We will meet again soon. Wait for me.'

He was angry and grieving. Feeling more than hurt. Terribly betrayed, not only by his lover's betrayal but the true machinations of his sect as well. 

Turning young children into puppets that only followed orders, and would carry them out without thought or feeling. Even in the midst of his need for revenge and his grief, there was no way he could allow such things to continue. Those children needed him. 

He could not be reckless or callous in this endeavor. He had to be patient and plan. He would wear a crafted disguise to find a way to slip close to these children and hand them medicine, even to the ones some would believe to be beyond saving.

  He chased after his lover with intent to kill him in the beginning and had not thought to even bother with the sect until his lover had sent one of these children after him to take his life - that or force him to kill the child. So he backed off and created a disguise to discreetly follow his ex-lover. 

  He snuck into their sect wearing the robes he had come to despise, and pretended to be one of them for quite some time, allowing him to sneakily get close to the children and slip the medicinal concoction he made to heal their minds and reset whatever those bastards had been doing to them. The sect pretended to be a righteous one yet dabbled into demonic cultivation. 

   Yanling had the feeling not all disciples knew just what they signed up for nor what their sect's true cultivation was, they were being lied to and tricked. And those that were in the know… while they cultivate their sects damning path, he could sense no ill will from them, at least not all of them, they were probably told some outlandish elaborate story by the people running the sect and believed it, the wool being pulled over there eyes because they were young and most likely desperate to be a cultivator and join a sect when no other was willing to take them in because they were noy talented enough. So they were easy prey. 

    And none probably knew that they were other children being used and turned into puppets, because on the outside they seemed and acted ordinary - but on the inside… with the mind and their golden cores, their hearts… were a mess and have undergone change. 

He made sure to teach them a valuable lesson and let them know and be aware all of what they are getting into. 

 Yanling Daoren knew enough about resentful energy and demonic cultivation because his master taught some of it to him. Baoshan Sanren was without a doubt, an immortal righteous cultivator. He was raised by her in the early stage of his life when he was a young man on the brink of death. He knew deep down somewhere she had a heart but it was so distant and closed off. And she knew so much about cultivation, the righteous and demonic paths.  And she basically taught him all.the reasons that would make any sane person turn away from attempting any kind of demonic cultivation.

  With the knowledge she imparted to him, he used it to help the children being turned into puppets using both the righteous path and demonic path to make sure the balance was there and he didn't accidentally harm them, their minds or their golden cores, and he used another medicine to heal the marks left on their hearts. 

Though there were a few too far gone that he wasn't able to save in the end.

After he had gotten close to the children and completed this task, he whisked them away one by one right under the sect's noses after creating a bunch of fakes with his amount of spiritual energy. He made sure to find people close by to take them in and make sure they would be well cared for and promised that the sect would not come looking for them, that they would be safe. 

  And they would be. Yanling Daoren went after all those in charge and responsible for such terrible acts, and made sure to put terror into the ignorant and foolish young disciples, teaching them the errors of their sect. He created a seal imbued with his spiritual energy and implanted it on all of them, that ever strayed and delved into demonic cultivation for sinister intentions and means, the seal would put an end to them. 

  While those that walked the righteous path judge demonic cultivators, it was only a problem when they had honest evil intentions. Some people may be curious and dabble and cultivate it but the choice is their own so long as they know the consequences. 

  But the righteous path, well, while it may be called righteous, it still forgoes the natural order, of being human and aging and is said to be against the will of Heaven. 

Either way there would be a price to pay, consequences in the end. 

Yanling Daoren put his plan in motion to destroy his lover and his lover's abominable sect. He faced them head on, fighting carelessly and killing as they kept coming at him, so long as they weren't the children, which he had already saved.

An unforeseen turn of events happened in the fire and chaos. His father-in-law had caught him off guard and was about to pierce Yanling Daoren's heart with his sword, which would effectively kill him.

Yanling Daoren froze up and stood still as the blade sped toward him, toward his heart. 

He closed his eyes and waited for the pain, for the blade to pierce through his flesh and stab through his heart.

He heard a pained gasp and a choked gurgle and his eyes snapped open and peered straight into Xu Yanming's pain filled and confused ones. "Why?" Yanling Daoren cried, catching the other who stumbled into his arms, blood blooming across his chest where the blade had pierced the others heart.

   Xu Yanming seemed to lose his strength, his weight falling into Yanling Daoren and they fell to the floor together. Yanling Daoren pulled the other into his arms, cradling him close. Xu Yanming gazed up at him, reaching out a hand to trace his beloved's face tenderly holding it in his palm.

"I don't… know… I… A-Ren… what did I do..? What have … I.. done?" He rasped, blood spilling from his mouth as he stared into Yanling Daoren's eyes. "It wasn't... me… not really - my father.. he - I -… you can hate… me… I understand… I hope… the children can forgive me… I'm sorry.. I do.. still love.. you.." He struggled to speak - he had too much he needed to say and so little time. Xu Yanming desperately pleaded with his eyes for Yanling Daoren to understand as he grappled weakly onto the others robes and genuine tears and emotions shone through the fading light in his eyes, silently saying 'I love you' in earnest and begging for forgiveness.

Yanling Daoren was angry and hurt, with the sting of betrayal and grief but even so….deep down… he knew. He didn't hate Xu Yanming. He had thought he had seen someone speaking through his beloved, that it couldn't be him doing those terrible things.

It had to have been his beloved's father… if he was willing to do such a thing to his own son and use other children for his own personal selfish gains… 

Yanling Daoren grit his teeth, his heart breaking into pieces yet again. His heart dying in his arms because he took the blade meant for him.

Xu Yanming tried to speak but Yanling Daoren shushed him. "Shh. It's okay. I know. I understand," Yanling Daoren choked up with his hair cascading around them, becoming a curtain to block out the world - if only for a moment. Tears burned his eyes fiercely as he brought his forehead to rest against his beloved's. "I forgive you, A-Ming. I understand."

Xu Yanming gave a small smile, eyes growing dim and gradually closing, and he was unable to speak. He caressed Yanling Daoren's face with his hand, before that hand slowly fell lifelessly onto the floor, eyes completely falling shut forever.

A thunderous clap sounded. "That was a splendid show! Too bad the boy was no longer useful to me anyway. As you can already guess, you're right! It was me. When you and A-Ming first met, he was indeed under my orders yet later. the boy dared to defy me and leave the sect! For you! Because he loved you and you had both created a wonderful family. He went on and on about you, about how happy he was with you. He was too soft. Too weak. So I fixed him and made use of him. I made him my mouth piece, and took control of his body. Brilliant, yes?" The man gave him a sinister, mad grin. 

Yanling Daoren stared at the man with burning and tear filled, hateful eyes. He clung to his lover, holding him close as if he could protect him from his own father.

Why hadn't he noticed? Why didn't A-Ming tell him sooner? Yanling Daoren could have saved him and their children sooner. 

But it was too late and he was already gone… they were all gone. 

His family was destroyed and he was left behind, alone again.…

 They were always leaving him behind…  

He gently placed his A-Ming down on the ground, caressing his deathly cold cheeks and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips and forehead before getting to his feet. 

His deranged father in law kept yapping and moving his lips but Yanling Daoren didn't listen. 

It was really quite sad, how quickly it ended. He decapitated his father-in-laws head clean from his shoulders as the man had been speaking mid sentence. The man had been bragging and boasting, too wrapped up in his own mind bragging to Yanling Daoren about his 'brilliant accomplishments'. It was comical how his face was frozen the moment his head was severed and sickeningly thumped to the ground.

He picked up his beloved, cradling his cold body close and left as the entire sect pavilion went up in flames and collapsed to the ground. 

He buried his beloved at their family home with children, explaining to their graves and hoping they would forgive A-Ming. 

He placed flowers on their graves and left. 

He knew other sects would eventually come and besiege him, blaming him for their shame and failures, and no doubt planning to sweep.truth under the rug and making him out to be just a big bad villain who destroyed so called 'innocent' lives because they couldn't face the truth. He was okay with that. Accepted it even.

He was tired. So, so tired. He was at the door of immortality, but he didn't want to be immortal, so he decided to never cross that threshold and end things here. 

Yanling Daoren stood in a beautiful green valley, the grass swayed gently to the breeze and flowers of lilac and lilies had bloomed into full view. The sky above him was so vast, so blue. Larger than him, larger than life. 

  He breathed in the fresh air, inhaling the scent into his lungs with a lingering breath of contentment. He still had his anger and grief, so much grief and sorrow - for his childhood, for so many things that had happened in his life, but he had lived, and lived on for some time, looking as young as he had in his adolescent years. He was in his middle thirties but his features seemed to have stopped aging as though he had become immortal. 

  He simply stood with his face tipped to the blue sky, his grief and anger, pushing them to the side and imagined all his family beside him seeing such an amazing few and taking it in. Such a simple precious thing many take for granted.

 "A-Ren, look at the view! Isn't it wonderful?" The voice of his mother called sweetly by his ear. "Big brother! Big brother! Look at the shapes of those clouds, aren't they amazing?!" His sisters cheered in tandem, beckoning to him, their baby brother toddling around, chasing a butterfly with cute childish giggles and his father stood by his mothers side, chest puffed with pride, a twinkle in his eyes. And Yanling Daoren's own adopted childrens images had joined them. 

He remembered the sweet moments alone with his A-Ming, as they cuddled together smiling and laughing and would kiss each other tenderly, content. He recalled cooking a meal together and nearly burning their home down. He remembered running his fingers through the others silky light hair. The happiness, the giddy feelings of love, of peace. How well their bodies fit together when they cherished each other and made love, with nothing between them and their skin touching and more tender cuddlings in the aftermath and holding each other close.

The peace, the contentment. How his heart yearned for those things with  his beloved A-Ming, his children. His family. He missed them so much… there were too many missing pieces of his heart. 

He knew, he knew it wasn't real. But under such a sky, in this beautiful valley and a lovely tall mountain and images of his family...he felt peace in this moment.

 Even though he felt a shred of peace in this moment...it hurt. It hurt so much, too much to breathe without them by his side… but it wouldn't be much longer now.

 The momentary sliver of peace was shattered as he heard the arrival of the sects that had come to kill him. Finally, after making him wait. He sighed. The peace had been nice while it lasted at least . 

   He turned and faced them head on without uttering a word, and faking an attack on them. Retaliation was immediate. He was pierced through front and back by over a dozen swords that had passed through his flesh. 

  He sucked in an agonized breath and sank to his knees with a thud, coughing up blood with it dribbling all over his lips and down his chin with each cough and painful intake of breath. 

 He could feel the blood leave his body from his many stab wounds. 

He heard someone speak, "Let him die like this and we'll come back and cut his body up into pieces and bury them all, scattering them! It's what he deserves!" 

Someone laughed and he heard affirmations of agreement while others chatted about other things but it was hard to distinguish.

He heard them leave. None had pulled the swords from his body, deciding to come back and do after he was already dead. He gave a choked, blood bubbling laugh. His blood stained the once beautiful clean grass. 

 He tried to raise his head to look upon the sky while he died, at least one last time. Just one more glance. 

It hurt. He hurt all over. His head was dizzy and he was so tired. It hurt to breathe.

He wheezed out a breath, more blood dripping from his lips. 

He faintly heard footsteps draw near, but it was like hearing through a tunnel.

"M-mister?" A young girl gasped.

Who?

More footsteps stumbled closer. 

"Mister!" Other young voices cried. Children? No...they can't be those children. How could they be here?

 A small figure knelt before him.

It was a young girl. He recognized her and the children that had come to stand behind her or kneel next to her. 

"You.." He gasped, trying to speak, "why - here?" He coughed up blood, the girl's image was slightly hazy in his eyes.

"Mister - You saved me… you saved all of us and we happened to hear that others had come to - to…" she trailed off, seeing all the swords sticking out from his body. 

"We're sorry! We're so sorry!  You don't deserve this," she sobbed, hands out still as though she wanted to help him but didn't know how. The other children were crying and looking at him with big glassy eyes and also crying their apologies. 

He huffed a faint laugh. These silly children…

He wheezed again, painfully. Damn… it really hurt to breathe. 

The eldest girl's eyes widened, he tried to smile comfortingly. "My… apologies… can… you… please… remove - " he paused, wheezing and blinking his heavy eyes. The girl in front nodded frantically and motioned for the others to help her. They pulled the swords free from his body, and more blood gushed from the wounds and he collapsed onto his back heavily. 

He struggled to breathe past the blood in his throat.

If he were an ordinary man, or low- level cultivator he would have long since been dead. But with his cultivation being so high, he was hard to kill and it was difficult and painful to die with so many fatal wounds inflicted upon his body. 

The children knelt around his body, speaking to him in thanks and that they were grateful to him, saying all sorts of things and watching him with sad eyes. 

"Thank you." The eldest girl who had led them led them there carefully moved his head onto her lap, and tried to help wipe the blood from his face and lips with her sleeve. Her tears dripped onto his face. "We owe you so much. We'll stay here. You won't be alone." She gripped one of his hands tightly in hers, her warmth spreading through his cold, numb fingers. Another child, a young boy had grabbed onto his other hand silently. Neither were letting go.

 He could see the blue sky above him, seeming to embrace him. 

He saw a vague outline of one of the smaller children come up, and his hand was freed momentarily for it to be placed in his palm carefully. 'A flower?' He chuckled to himself. What a sweet child. 

The numbness spread, he couldn't feel his body and his vision had darkened, he could no longer stare into the sky. Death creeped closer. 

Yanling Daoren tried to speak once more, remembering the money he had in his pouch and he wanted to give it to the children. 

"Pouch… money… for you…" he rasped. The girl was confused for a moment before she realized what he was trying to say. She searched his sleeves until she found it. A big pouch of money. 

"You.. didn't have to….Mister… you…" The girl couldn't speak. She was warmed in her heart and even more immensely grateful to this man. Yanling Daoren, she had learned his true identity earlier after he saved her and the other children and was speechless with awe. Such a strong incredible person… for people to treat him this way when they knew nothing or just didn't care because they didn't want to or were ashamed of the truth of the despicable sect that had tried to make her into a puppet. 

  Even when he sought revenge, he cared for them and looked out for them, helping to give them families willing to love and take them in.

He… doesn't deserve this...any of it. 

How cruel...

"Thank you… Mis- Shixiong..? May I call you that?" She whispered. 

Yanling Daoren hummed, eyelids parted into slits, nearly closed. The girl's eyes watered once more as she cried, still holding tightly onto his hand, hoping he could feel it. "Thank you, Shixiong, I - we won't forget you."

Yanling Daoren hummed again. 

He was so tired but he wanted to say one last thing…

"Leave... my body and... be gone…. before... they come... back.You all… must...grow...and live well. Be happy. I… thank - you… as well…" He whispered, a brief smile gracing his lips before he let himself finally succumb to the darkness and his chest seized its struggling with his last breath and became deathly still.

He was finally free.

He didn't hear the cries of the children he had saved that had come and surrounded him, accompanying him to his last moments so that he would not die all alone. 

He didn't watch as they left like he said, huddled together, their silhouettes fading into dusk.

Into the start of a new beginning, a new life. All thanks to him.

When people spat and cursed his name, and scorned his existence as a infamous villain towards the end of his life as told by the cultivators who so courageously slayed him.

Only few knew the truth and kept it close, and they mourned his loss and thanked him for the good he had done, for the lives he saved. 

Yanling Daoren, first disciple of Baoshan Sanren who was the second most powerful cultivator with a big heart would live on in their hearts. 

He would not be forgotten for as long as they lived.

   Yanling Daoren tore himself from.the memories of his past, cursing. His emotions got the better of him after all. 

 "That wasn't supposed to happen. My emotions got the better of me, damn it." He mumbled low to himself.

'You okay?' 

He looked at Suibian who was watching him with worried eyes. The three children were still playing, so carefree. The sight calmed his heart a little. 

He sighed heavily, hearing the groans of the cultivators throughout the room waking up. 

Yanling Daoren's hands shook slightly. He frowned.

He could feel all their eyes staring and burning holes into him.

He turned on them, glowering. "What the fuck are you all staring at?" 

He saw his shidi looking at him with sad big, round eyes. Yanling Daoren rubbed his temples and exhaled heavily. 

"There you all have it. You got a front row seat to my memories."

Xiao Xingchen opened his mouth, paused, and closed it again. Song Lan comforted him silently.

Yanling Daoren turned frigid eyes on Sect Leader Yao.

"Now, tell me, all that bullshit you spouted earlier, you have anything more you wished to say? If so, please do. Right here, right now." He coldly stated with a bite in his voice. 

"If not, then keep your mouth shut. Do you understand?" He enunciated slowly. Sect Leader Yao flinched, nodding hastily. 

He turned toward the bubble he'd inclosed the children in, dispersing it. Suibian held little Jin Ling carefully, and the other two held onto his legs as he came forward. He let little A-Yuan go sit with Lan Wangji for a moment, giving them time together and let little Jingyi follow him. Yanling Daoren picked up Jin Ling, cradling him and handing him over to Jiang Cheng and letting him spend time with his nephew. 

Yanling Daoren walked back to his spot and sat down. "Suibian, in a moment I will send you through my portal with the children so you can return them to where they originally were." Suibian eye'd him carefully and nodded. 

Yanling Daoren turned to Lan Xichen. "Write a letter, say whatever you will but please be clear. It will be handed to an elder for them to see to it that A-Yuan is cared for properly in your and your brother's absence until you return, as well as his friend, just as all the other kids should be." 

Lan Xichen nodded quietly and started immediately. No one uttered a single word.

 Yanling Daoren felt like sighing again, his mind was a bit chaotic from his memories. 

On top of all of those memories, Yanling Daoren recalled more memories after his death, meeting the young Wei Wuxian after he was thrown into Burial Mounds. 

He had been a strong, practically immortal cultivator when he was alive, he strongest and his spirit… while a bit all over the place - was still very strong… but even with his abilities despite being dead and not a resentful and mad spirit and fully conscious - the mass of buried graves of bodies in the war that came sometime after his death that created Burial Bounds and it was immensely dark and resentful. 

He kept and held back most of the resentful energy from touching and harming the boy but there was so much of it, too much. He resolved to stay by the boy's side and watch over him and help guide him. He couldn't shoulder Wei Wuxian's choices or burdens but he stayed by his side as Chenqing, even though the other was not aware of his existence. 

  He stayed with him, never leaving his side and could only watch the boy break and break into pieces, could only watch and sing to him - hoping to comfort him somehow and let him know he wasn't alone, even until his death and Yanling Daoren could only watch as Wei Wuxian broke the Stygian Tiger Seal in half and call the dead upon him to devour him and tear him apart, even though Jiang Cheng had stepped in - but it was too late.

  Wei Wuxian died and Yanling Daoren sang out to the other's soul, even if his voice was not heard - that was fine. He sang quietly for Wei Wuxian, for the man he was, for the boy he was in his heart. Yanling sang till the end of his song as he watched the cultivators disperse and Jiang Cheng carry Wei Wuxian's body away, holding onto the flute.

He searched for the other's soul but could not find it. Maybe it had become weak and shriveled, so small that it could not be felt. Yanling Daoren had not cared. Deep in reserves of his very being, he secretly hoped Wei Wuxian's soul still lingered here, somewhere. 

The wind stole his song, letting the words break apart and disperse into the world.

  He was Yanling Daoren, he should have been able to save him ( to save all of them) but even as strong as he was… it was never enough.

Lan Xichen was very pale, looking a little sick after seeing his memories. Lan Qiren didn't look much better, probably worse. Lan Wangji was staring at him with heavy eyes. Yanling Daoren could guess why.

   Even Jiang Cheng had the same stare but with more shock and sadness. 

Nie Mingjue was looking at him with the same gaze as well and Nie Huaisang was shaken, hand over his mouth with tears staining his face.

Jin Guangyao was speechless, eyes wide and blinking at him.

Yanling Daoren gave them all a small bitter smile. "I understand all of your pain, far too well."

The silence was as heavy as a stone boulder and somber. Solemn. 

No one knew what to say about Yanling Daoren's past memories. 

Nothing could erase the images replaying in all of their minds of Yanling Daoren's past, as they had been forced to relive it alongside him and feel all of his pain and loss.

There was nothing that could be said. 

 Nothing at all.

Chapter Text

Suibian returned from making sure the children were settled, and sat next to Yanling Daoren close enough that their shoulders brushed, a silent form of comfort, letting him know he was there. Yanling Daoren relaxed slightly and the atmosphere in the room seemed to lighten. 

Yanling Daoren nodded, satisfied the kids were returned safely and feeling slightly at ease with Suibian by his side again. "Good." 

"Um…" A sheepish voice started, the person raised their hand, looking awkward. He was a young man, probably mid or late twenties, from the Lan sect. Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen both looked at him.

Yanling Daoren arched a brow. 

"I was just wondering.. s-s-since we saw your… memories… if Suibian is like you?" 

"Then ask him, not me." Yanling Daoren gave the boy an incredulous look. Suibian laughed. 

"You want to know about me? Whether I have past memories or not?" 

The young man paused for a moment before slowly nodding.

Suibian rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. I'll tell you. Long ago, sometime after Daoren's death, I was a general, who was from a well off family and I had one older brother. I had a pretty good childhood until I hit my late twenties and became an adult. My parents died.

“I became a general at 23, which was rare. I led my soldiers to victory a good number of times. I had a wife as well who was with a child before the last time I went off to fight. Too late, I realized I had fallen into a trap set by my own brother who betrayed me, my flesh and blood. All my comrades, my soldiers were slaughtered.

“As for me, I was taken captive and tortured at my own brother's orders. He came to gloat and tell me that he poisoned and killed our parents and that as soon I left my wife to go to war…" 

The muscles in Suibian's jaw ticked with his rising anger and he clenched his fists, "He raped my pregnant wife and then killed her and my unborn child afterwards. He showed me a box with bits and pieces of their corpses as a gift. He laughed and spat in my face. My body was in ruins..."

Suibian's eyes were distant and recalled his past and told them the details. 

"He had me brutally whipped, leaving my flesh marked with whip lashes on my back that oozed blood. Some of my fingers had been chopped off. One of my eyes had been gouged out and my tongue cut from my mouth. I managed to snap my wrists so I could maneuver myself from my restraints around my wrists and snatch a blade from one of the guards between my teeth to slit my brother's throat before driving it into his heart for good measure.  I was stabbed afterward by multiple swords and died. But I died with the satisfaction of knowing he died with me." He finished with a cruel smile, his arms crossed as he looked at the young man who'd gone green in the face. 

 "Are you going to be sick? Sorry, I guess I could have summed it up without all the gory details." He rubbed his neck and sighed. The young man of the Lan sect shook his head. 

Hmph, Suibian turned his attention to the bound Jin Guangshan's, tilted his head and studied him. The Jin Sect leader looked really pitiful. Too bad Suibian didn't give a damn. He’d brought it upon himself. 

"Just looking at your face pisses me off. You're the spitting image of that fucker, like his fucking twin even. Hey, tell me something. Was it fun? Ruining a person’s life? Did you smile? Did you laugh? Did you revel in the treasures you plundered from him?” Suibian’s lips curled. “Did you think you could get away with it?" He spat, inches away from Jin Guangshan's face. "Do you want to know what else? It doesn't fucking matter because either way you’re a piece of shit just like my older brother was. And it's fitting, since you carry his bloodline after all. The bastard had a child I wasn't even aware of. You and your kin are my descendents, my blood, and you are fucking disgrace. Your son, Jin Zixuan, was a better man than you. He died because of you and your other son Jin Guangyao with your scheming and plotting. Or did you not know that little tidbit, how the man you call your bastard son, who you deign to acknowledge at all, essentially wanted him dead and out of the way?" 

Jin Guangshan trembled under his venomous stare, eyes wide at the information he was hearing. Suibian gave a deadly chilling laugh. 

"I bet this really wasn't what you were expecting, was it? That you are related to me and that you thought you'd get away with the things you've done." Suibian gave a derisive snort. "You know what some say? What goes around - comes back around." The Jin Sect leader looked at him, glaring to cover how he was shaking in fear, and ultimately failing. He wisely kept his mouth shut. 

"My clan, my family, were well off but not as much as others back then. We were still considered commoners. There were few major sects that existed when I was alive. I died because of my brother and took him down with me. I do not know the kind of man his son truly was, but from the knowledge I do have and what I have learned through the documents left behind, he was a good man and the founder of your sect, he helped create this sect he gathered people to help it grow and thrive with success. You are the most pathetic and disgraceful person to be born of my bloodline. My brother was a twisted evil bastard but no coward. That is the only difference I can see and it's not a compliment. You dishonor his son, the founder of the sect, who built all of this, and my bloodline-my family, mother and father who were fighters, who cultivated a little but were not well known or from a major sect back then. We stood for things we valued and what we believed in. You sat back while everyone else fought in the war against Wen Ruohan and your bastard son was the one who snuck up from behind and killed him like a thief or spy would do. Someone conniving and deceitful, though at least he has more brains than you do. " 

Suibian growled before giving a sharp grin.

"Looking at you now, I almost pity you. Almost. But then again, I don't actually give a damn what happens to you; except that I want to be there to see it or be the cause of it. You are nothing but a speck of dust beneath my boot, a disgusting and pitifully filthy human sack of bones," Suibian snarled, face twisting, and turning menacing, "And I don't give a single fuck about what others think or say about me. They need to mind their own fucking business. It seems that all many of you do is run your mouths and prance around, butting into people's business, what they say, what they look like, who they're friends with or associated with. Not only have I seen it for myself in the past, even A-Ren has seen it. 

“Wei Wuxian, the master we chose , before things went to hell - he was playful. He was full of vibrant life and energy. He played around and people generally liked him and gravitated towards him because of his kind, easy going, mischievous nature, his smile, his charming and charismatic personality. He was just a big kid at heart, who was brilliantly intelligent, except about his own feelings, and who cared and looked after those he cared for at the cost of his own life, but no one noticed just how far he'd already fallen because he tried to do it all alone, all by himself and refused to ask for help."

"Suibian-"

"And honestly, it's no wonder why, looking at all of you now," Suibian's gaze roamed pointedly around the room. "Take Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin as example, despite how things how became between them - if Jiang Wanyin had lost an arm and if Wei Wuxian knew how, and knew it would work successfully, he'd have cut off his own arm in a heartbeat to give it to him because he was fucking loyal to a fault and he loved more deeply than anyone realized. All anyone wanted to see was a monster. No one bothered to even think or ask why, or see what was wrong? Or even notice that something was wrong to begin with or that maybe he was doing it all for a reason? Only one. Only one person in this entire fucking room of people who knew him or claimed to know him actually fucking tried and cares enough to do so! And it was someone born of a clan who has restrictions for just about everything! Someone whose clan had pretty much turned on Wei Wuxian the moment they found out he cultivated resentful energy! And with how they acted, how could he trust and believe that the one person who cared enough to try and help him, actually did care for him and wanted to help him and not just punish him - there were too many misunderstandings -- "

"Suibian-"

"You were all the instigators and aggressors, accusing him of things he didn't do. You cornered him and attacked him and then got pissed off when he retaliated and defended himself from people who were scheming behind the scenes or those following blindly and believing the pathetic fucking bullshit spewing from your mouth! And now you all want to point your fucking fingers, blaming him for deaths when you all have just as much blame to share, if not more. You attacked first, every time. You cornered, slandered him, accused him of things he didn't do. And when things didn't go the way you wanted it - it was always his doing, his fault. Some of you may have lost loved ones, and it is a terrible thing, but many of them wouldn't have died in the first place if you hadn't attacked him first and tried to kill him to begin with when he did nothing to you. You only attacked because of rumors and dumb shit. Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao manipulated you, and you all pretended to be righteous and made Wei Wuxian out to be a big bad villain. And everyone has lost loved ones at one point in their life or another! You're not the only ones who have suffered loss. Wei Wuxian himself had lost many he cared for as well.

“He did not kill Jiang Yanli, she gave her life for him. He did not intend to harm Jin Zixuan, that's on the orchestrators from behind the scenes. Besides the Sunshot Campaign, which he was the main force behind, saving and helping all of you - and the Jins responsible for the innocent Wen Remnant imprisonment and terrible treatment - he didn't attack anyone or kill anyone, nor did he intend to do so. Not until he was cornered and attacked first by a stupid fucking mob of cultivators. Then, as he was defending himself, a person whom he cherished  died before his very eyes. She herself saved him from a foolish young cultivator who wanted vengeance on Wei Wuxian for his brother,  who had attacked him with the intent to kill.      

“And you blamed him. Would any of you stand and allow someone to kill you without fighting back? I think not; especially if you were attacked first. You fucking ignorant pricks!" Rage boiled in Suibian’s system as he shifted his gaze back and forth between Jin Guangshan and all the other cultivators as he ranted loudly while pacing back and forth, voice booming like thunder in the silence. His gaze landed back on Jin Guangshan as he poked him painfully in the chest.

"Suibian-"

"And you are a fucking spoiled overgrown brat who is too greedy for wealth and power! ou know nothing of real suffering and loss.Your own son died because of you and your other son's schemes, and your son's spoiled little whiny bitch of a cousin, what's-his-name Jin..something, who accused Wei Wuxian of putting a curse on him, which was never fucking true at all! And you set up the fucking ambush! Jin Zixuan was a better man than you ever were!" Suibian’s voice lowered, hard and weary. “All this world did, all you people did, was take and take and take from Wei Wuxian until he had nothing left to give, not even a single person on his side. Are you happy now?!”

"SUIBIAN!" Yanling Daoren snapped. 

"WHAT?!" Suibian snarled, teeth bared angrily as he was caught up in his rage as it boiled over to a breaking point.

Suibian's chest was heaving, he could barely restrain his anger and it felt like he would explode on the inside. He hands twitched, itching to kill the piece of shit that was a waste of space in his eyes, descendant of his blood or not. He wanted to drive a sword into Jin Guangshan's slimy, filthy, black, rotten heart. Men like him disgusted Suibian. 

He breathed in and out slowly to calm himself down, and backed away from Jin Guangshan.

He gave Yanling Daoren a pleading look, "Can I please just kill this fucker already? I'm done waiting." He heard gasps and sharp inhales. 

Yanling Daoren gave him a look. "No.”

Relieved sighs echoed around the room.

“Not yet.”

And everyone tensed back up. 

"Why not?!" Suibian hissed, "it's not like he doesn't deserve it! He does! You know he does!" Suibian bared his teeth. "You want to kill him just as badly as I do! So why not just let me?!"

Yanling Daoren heaved a sigh. "Now is not the time. They have heard you speak of many things just now but they must see it for themselves. And I want him to watch as his schemes and lies crumble to nothing and to realize that it is futile. I want him to realize that no one will step up to save him by the time we are through, and even if they did, it's not as if they could actually stop us or are powerful enough to do so." Yanling Daoren said.

"Patience, Suibian." Yanling Daoren softened with understanding, placing a comforting hand upon the other's shoulder for only a brief moment. Yanling Daoren kept his face immobile and still, but his heartbeat picked up nervously. He was slightly nervous and had to discreetly back away from Suibian. They could not do this, not here - they, they couldn't - not now - 

Suibian stepped closer until they were barely an inch apart, stealing each other's breaths. Suibian really wanted to kiss him, in front of all of them. They knew each other's horrid pasts, they had spent so much time together, and it was Wei Wuxian who brought them together, It was just another reason why they loved him, even though he knew none of it. 

Suibian was immensely attracted to Yanling Daoren, and they have been intimate quite a few times, but they only just started admitting their feelings even if they knew how the other felt all along. Their past love's did not end well, so they took things slowly and with caution. 

But now… looking at how sexy and alluring Yanling Daoren was right now. His curves and his beautiful and long lush obsidian hair and… 

 Suibian shuddered with restrained desire. 

Fuck it. Let them see.

He surged forward, hand cupping A-Ren's face tenderly, gliding his fingers through his hair, and kissed him; slowly and thoroughly. Yanling Daoren froze in place before returning the deepening kiss. Their lips danced fiercely together, battling passion with passion and desire. Their tongues stroking and tangling; caressing and stealing each others’ breaths.  A  shudder passed through Yanling Daoren's body with a light moan only Suibian could hear, and he smiled. He slowly pulled their lips apart, fingers gently playing with the other's hair before letting go. 

Yanling Daoren looked dazed, mouth still parted in surprise. His lips plump and wet from their kiss and molten desire flared in those bright crimson eyes. Suibian smirked.

"I've wanted to do that for quite some time" Suibian admitted to Yanling Daoren, who was staring at him intently before blinking and turning his eyes away while their 'audience' stared open-mouthed at them. While Suibian and Yanling Daoren have been intimate before but only through closeness of touching hands, lying close to each other but never more than that. Some of the crowd of cultivators seemed flustered and few seemed disgusted. 

Suibian watched the Second Jade, Hanguang-Jun gaze at them fiercely, eyes wide. A light red hue tainted Yanling Daoren's cheeks, softening his demeanor before he shook it off and cleared his throat. 

 Nie Huaisang, whose face was hidden behind his fan, noticed everything and giggled very quietly. 

"You have seen into my past and know of Suibian's as well. And you have seen some of Wei Wuxian's past. And you have felt his pain, you have felt mine. I take this all quite seriously and we are not finished. I am still quite full of rage myself but I can quell my need for vengeance until the whole truth is made clear and out in the open and none of you can shy away from this. 

"I can assure you all, by the end, if no action is taken and none of you hold yourselves accountable in any way for your actions and do not try to make some amends, you will not like the end result. You must think my past is tragic and that you can understand me now and probably even see me as a good person. I will demolish those silly fragile notions and make you face reality by letting you know what true, honest fear feels like - starting with Jin Guangshan, who will be dead by the end even if not by my hand or Suibian's after we show you his true colors, make no mistake about that either."  Yanling Daoren stated, tone cold and blunt. 

"Now, let's resume where we left off." Yanling Daoren waved his hand as he sat with Suibian close by his side. 

The cloud of resentful energy twisted to show Wei Wuxian's memories where they had left off.

Unbridled wrath seethed in his flesh and bones, coiling like a snake in his veins, his hatred like venom. 

He stalked his quarry, taunting them from the shadows wherever they went as he played his flute; the haunting tune chasing after them like a phantom as he leisurely followed behind.

Wang Lingjiao was the first to die - a terrible death by being fed upon by the dead, though not before he terrorized her to madness. 

'Wen Chao…' Wei Wuxian sneered, eyes glowing crimson, 'you're next.'

|•|•|•|•|

He chased after Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu, dogging their every step and every breath of trepidation. 

"Come out, come out, wherever you are! Wen Chao! It's pointless to continue running from me." Wei Wuxian smiled wickedly, his steps slow and sure. He could hear Wen Chao ranting and blubbering to Wen Zhuliu in madness and fear. Wei Wuxian's grin spread wider, sharper as though dripping with venom. 

He twirled his flute between his fingers switching between humming and whistling a haunting melody in a singsong tone. He was growing weary and tired of the chase. Still humming his haunting tune, he flicked his hand and sent tendrils of resentful energy surging towards where he knew Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu would be hiding, and restrained them before pulling them out into the open. Green fire raged on around him as his eyes feasted on the ones responsible for all of this, his hatred seething through the crimson of his eyes. 

"Tsk. Look at you, look at how far you've fallen. What a shame. Tell me, Wen Chao, how does it feel to be brought to your knees, at my mercy? I'll tell you. It feels empowering and it's nothing more than a wretched person like you deserves."

Wen Chao screamed and struggled pitifully in the clutches of resentful energy, moaning and crying.

"Wei Wuxian! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me! My father would not let you go if you do!" Snot and tears marred Wen Chao's desperate face. He was lucid, somewhat, despite the agony he must be in considering Wei Wuxian tricked his mind and manipulated him into eating his own flesh. His scalp was in bloodied ruin, hair missing and a layer of bone peeking through the blood and muscle beneath the skin. Wen Zhuliu was in no better condition. 

"Hmm, let me think." Wei Wuxian put a thoughtful expression on his face and tapped a finger against his chin as he pretended to consider what Wen Chao said. 

Wei Wuxian tilted his head and smiled. "No." 

"Wei Wuxian! You won't get away with this!"

Wei Wuxian laughed darkly. "Oh but I am. Not even Wen Zhuliu can save you." 

Wen Zhuliu glared and struggled as Wei Wuxian strode towards him. Resentful energy swirlied around his hand as Wei Wuxian slowly dug the sharp points of his nails into Wen Zhuliu’s flesh, blood welling up as he clawed deeper, pushing his hand into Wen Zhuliu's body to grasp his golden core and yank it free with his hand.

Wen Zhuliu screamed and gazed in shock at what Wei Wuxian now held in his grasp. Wei Wuxian smirked at him, eyes never leaving him as he slowly but surely crushed it. 

"My golden core…" Wen Zhuliu whispered, unable to stop staring, but Wei Wuxian had already moved onto Wen Chao. He placed his flute to his lips and played a tune and the resentful energy attacked Wen Chao mercilessly, torturing Wen Chao slowly at Wei Wuxian's command. It tore at any bare or clothed flesh and ripped it all away layer by layer. Piece by bloodied piece until there was only muscle and bloodied bones. Wen Chao writhed and screeched for what seemed like an eternity until his struggles slowed before they stopped all together. 

Wei Wuxian released a sharp tune with his flute and Wen Chao’s gruesomely mutilated lifeless body flopped to the ground, eyes forever glazed over with agony and fear. He made sure Wen Chao's body was completely destroyed to nothing before he finished off Wen Zhuliu.

Wei Wuxian was in agony himself, his entire body was screaming with it. He was exhausted , in pain. His mind was in shambles. He was aware of everything he had been doing, but at the same time it was as though he was shrouded in a fog and he was just going through the motions. His pain and hatred seemed to be the only thing keeping him going, he was hardly able to stand on his feet with how incredibly hollow and dead inside he felt. Fuck. He was so tired and deep down, beneath his hatred and sorrow, a small part of him felt and knew he had taken things too far. He could have simply killed Wen Chao. But after everything that bastard did, what he caused. Wen Chao had no care for anyone, or how he trampled Lotus Pier and killed all Wei Wuxian’s fellow disciples - friends he grew up with and trained with. 

Wen Chao had laughed and mocked Madam Yu and Sect Leader Jiang after their deaths and destroyed his brother's golden core. Wen Chao had thrown into Burial Mounds to suffer and die. But he had lived, against all odds. He had suffered and struggled, trapped in Burial Mounds for months, tortured by the creatures there and starving with his bones broken and shattered until he gave in and decided to use the resentful energy to fight and survive, to break free and help Jiang Cheng no matter the cost. 

Wei Wuxian used some of the resentful energy inside him to patch up some of his bones and organs that had been bruised and battered and was barely holding himself together. He used the resentful energy to heal himself quickly but doing so was no proper healing from a medic or with the help of a golden core he did not have. He had no other options.  He was still hurt, bones aching and sore and so fucking tired he was surprised he wasn't dead on his feet.

He’d finally gotten his revenge for Lotus Pier, for his brother, and for himself. But at what cost? And at this point, did it even matter anymore? The war was not over. Since breaking free of Burial Mounds after being trapped for three months, the war against the Wens had already begun and he knew it wasn't over yet. Jiang Cheng needed him. Shijie needed him. And in order to fight alongside his brother, he would have to continue using resentful energy and cultivating it. Without it, he was powerless. 

He knew the warnings against demonic cultivation, and he knew that if he continued down this path that there would be no turning back. He needed to master it, to continue controlling it. He had to. 

And if he was shunned and ostracized, and made a villain in the end - then so be it. He never gave a damn what the world thought of him. As long as he had Jiang Cheng and Shijie, he had to believe that everything would be fine, or else what was the point of all of this instead of just laying down and dying in Burial Mounds?   

Wei Wuxian knew before it was all over, his hands would be stained with more blood than he wanted to even think about. As long as no innocents got hurt, the civilians and cultivators- he could keep them out of the crossfire and make sure they were safe from him and others; like the Wens (and a part of him knew and was aware that not all Wens were evil or 'bad'. There were innocents among them - some were non cultivators and such and families that were dragged into it), so long as they were safely evacuated. Wei Wuxian was walking a very thin line, so he had to be careful not to treat others’ lives callously. He was in control of the resentful energy he cultivated, but he was wired, taut and stressed, and his mind was not in the best state. He needed to tread carefully. 

He heaved a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose before dropping his hand. He felt a drop of water land on his cheek and turned his gaze upward. The sky opened up and rain started falling. He closed his eyes and embraced the feeling of the rainfall, a moment of quiet and peace and stillness amidst the chaos of everything. 

Wei Wuxian froze suddenly, tensing when he heard two familiar voices call his name from behind where he stood.

"Wei Wuxian?!"

"Wei Ying…" 

Wei Wuxian turned toward them, not uttering a word and looked them over. Jiang Cheng seemed to look like he was doing well, he saw no current serious injuries on him. And Lan Zhan… looked the same as ever, despite some dirt that marred his pristine white clothing. He seemed older, his face more defined. As beautiful as their first meeting. 

"Jiang Cheng," he nodded to his brother and turned to the other. "Lan Zhan…"

Wei Wuxian flinched as Jiang Cheng slammed into him, hugging him tightly. "You damned idiot! You asshole! Where the hell have you been?! We've been looking everywhere for you!"

Wei Wuxian paused, then hugged  Jiang Cheng back before pulling away from him.

Wei Wuxian shrugged and smirked. "Oh, you know, here and there, around."

 'I was trapped in the Burial Mounds for three months, trying not to die the whole time, and spent the last of it learning to control resentful energy to escape from that hell.'

Those long three months had been an eternity in hell for him. He never wanted to be trapped in a place like that again, helpless and alone and starving for actual food instead of having to eat dead flesh from old corpses left there that he found, because of desperation. The resentful energy is probably the only reason he didn't die. 

Just thinking about it made Wei Wuxian feel sick to his stomach and he wanted to vomit, but he held it all back and shoved the feeling down and forced all of that from his mind. 

Jiang Cheng didn't need to know any of that. None of it. 

"We saw, you know. What you did to Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu. They deserved it,." Jiang Cheng sneered, patting Wei Wuxian on the shoulder. "Good riddance to them. And here, your sword." 

Jiang Cheng shoved Suibian against his chest and Wei Wuxian grabbed it, looking down with sadness hidden in his eyes before he blinked it away. He could no longer feel his connection to Suibian. Never again would he be able to wield his sword with pride. He did not regret the decision, but it didn't take the ache and hollowness away. But what's done is done, and it cannot be changed. 

     Suibian sighed, watching his master, his wielder, his friend with sadness as well. He chose to be by the young boy's side knowing he was brave and kind and pure of heart and soul. He knew that, without his golden core, Wei Wuxian would no longer feel their bond as he could, but Suibian would still have stayed by his side if he could. Hell, maybe if he had made his presence known, and stayed by his side as a spirit then things could have been different. But because he was bound to the sword, he could not be too far from it. 

Besides, as a spirit, and one who had already lived a long time ago, it wasn't his place to interfere with the living.  Most spirits' that were sound of mind usually moved on to wherever souls go after death. Maybe it was Subian’s past and his unwillingness to let it go, but he had been angry and bitter and he nearly had become a resentful spirit himself when he stumbled across this child who seemed so sweet and kind, with a smile that outshined the sun. He was drawn in and wanted to be by his side and watched him grow into a fine young man.

He regretted not revealing himself sooner. And he knew Yanling Daoren did as well, in his own way. They should have let Wei Wuxian know that he was never alone. In the beginning he held hatred and distrust towards the other because he felt the other was at fault and had tainted Wei Wuxian's heart. But in reality, that was not the case. Suibian sighed. I wish I could be by your side once again and that you were alive and living happily. If only…

Wei Wuxian forced a laugh, throwing his arm around Jiang Cheng's shoulder and trying to be like his old self. "Indeed, Jiang Cheng. Did you miss me?" He grinned cheekily. 

Jiang Cheng shoved him off. "Who would miss you?!" He scoffed. 

Wei Wuxian's gaze flitted to Lan Zhan, who stood there and stared at him. 

"Wei Ying, you are behind all of this? You have been killing the Wen Sect disciples?" 

Wei Wuxian tilts his chin up defiantly. "Yes. What of it? It's no less than any of them deserve. They brought it upon themselves."

Lan Wangji was questioning his means of cultivation.

"Wei Ying, there is a price to pay for cultivating such a dark path! There have never been any exceptions!" 

Wei Wuxian's expression darkened. 

'Does Lan Zhan really think so little of me that I would choose to walk this path of cultivation if I did not have a choice?!' 

"Whatever the price is, it is mine to pay."

"Wei Ying! This path will not only damage your body but your heart and mind as well!"

Wei Wuxian grew more infuriated. 'You think that I am a fool?! You think that I do not already know this?! I knew the moment I made my decision and I can feel it even now! It's almost like an excruciatingly slow, deadly poison moving throughout my body, worming it's clutches deeper within my body and has already made itself at home! But I don't have a choice!'

"As I said, whatever the price, I will pay it. I know what I am doing."

"There are some things beyond your control!" Lan Wangji raised his voice. 

"I can control it!" 'What other choice do I have?'

"Wei Ying, come back to Gusu with me." 

Wei Wuxian froze. "Go back to Gusu? Why -" he chuckled darkly as he seemed to reach a realization, "How could I forget? Your uncle hates the likes of me and my crooked path." He sneered angrily. "You're his perfect and most precious and proudest disciple. Of course, you would have the same views as him." He scoffed. "I refuse." 'They wanted to imprison me no doubt and take away my only means of cultivation. Ha! I refuse to let that happen!' 

Yanling Daoren sighed. When Wei Wuxian was alive and held him in his flute form, he held all the reins. As powerful as Yanling Daoren was, able to keep himself from becoming a terribly dangerous resentful spirit, he too had been stuck and trapped in the Burial Mounds. Wei Wuxian had unknowingly freed him and saved him. When he created his flute 'Chenqing', he also created a deep bond that connected them together. As much as his own past and memories and feelings, he also felt and saw everything Wei Wuxian did and it affected him in a way; influenced him. Many times he tried to discreetly help Wei Wuxian and keep him calm and so the rest of the resentful energy did not get out of control, but it didn't work. It was even more complicated to go into more detail. And people from the outside kept poking and antagonizing him.

The most Yanling Daoren did was try to help Wei Wuxian keep his sanity and try not to lose control, but he was afraid that by interfering too much might make matters worse. So he kept himself and his powers on a tight leash. He should have revealed himself and interfered sooner. He and Suibian should have both stepped up and made their presence known.

Yet in a way, their own pasts haunted them and they had wanted to get too deeply involved in matters of the world around them. In a way, they were alive, but at the same time they were not. They were spirits, souls that lingered long after their death, after the dust had settled and found it too hard to pass on. They were both drawn to Wei Wuxian and merely wished to be by his side and help him, but like with his past and Suibian's, people could be too cruel and they just wouldn't leave Wei Wuxian alone. But they should have done more to help them.

Watching Wei Wuxian's memories was, in a way, a punishment for both Suibian and himself as well: to see the one they bonded themselves to suffer and struggle when they could have done more to help. 

Yanling Daoren squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that invaded his eyes against his will as he was overcome by guilt and sadness. His long dead past haunting him and the failure of letting down Wei Wuxian. He could have protected the young man more, shielded him better and let him know he wasn't alone. And his anger and hatred towards those that were also responsible for his death at the end.

They would bear witness and suffer through it and be taught a lesson from it. 

 Everything escalated.

"Wei Wuxian!"

"Lan Wangji! Will you really not let this go?! You think I would go with you so you can confine me and take away my cultivation? As if I would let that happen! And what of my heart? The topic of how my heart is not your concern. You and your clan have no right!"

"Apologies for my bluntness, but the topic of punishment doesn't involve you nor your clan, Wei Wuxian is part of the Yunmeng Jiang Clan. It would be my concern, not outsiders. If he is to go back with anyone, it would not be you." Jiang Cheng intervened, coming to stand next to Wei Wuxian as the other turned his face away, eyes staring into space. 

Lan Wangji could say no more, his voice was caught in his throat and his hands trembled. He didn't want to leave things this way, so hostile and cold but there was nothing he could do so he turned on his heel and walked away.

  Lan Wangji felt shocked and so hurt that Wei Ying had thought and believed he had wanted to bring him back to his sect to punish him. He remembered his mother. How she had been caged until her death as punishment for events Lan Wangji still did not know or understand. He knew Wei Ying was free-spirited. He never wanted to cage Wei Ying. He would never do that to him. 

And then Lan Wangji realized he had never spoken up or clarified anything to assuage Wei Ying of his suspicion and fears. He had never made himself clear or truly confessed his feelings. Well, he did once - when he fled from Nightless City with Wei Wuxian in his arms. However, Wei Ying had not been all there. 

Lan Wangji stared at these scenes that kept stabbing into him. His hand clenched tightly over his heart, burying painfully into his skin beneath his clothes. He ached, the grief drowning him. He should have fought harder and tried to get Wei Ying to understand that he had only wanted to protect him. He had only wanted to keep him safe. 

And he had failed so miserably at that. He had failed Wei Ying.

Wei Ying. I'm sorry. 

He failed his heart. 

Lan Wangji wished he could go back to that moment and confess his feelings to Wei Ying properly and tell him he had only wished to protect him, that he would never harm him. 

He missed Wei Ying. He yearned to hear Wei Ying's boisterous and lively laughter and see that huge bright smile adorning his face. 

'I miss you, Wei Ying…' he thought. But even if he wanted to confess now - it was far too late. His beloved Wei Ying was dead. 

 |•|•|•|•|

Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren looked at each other, both feeling regret and guilt. Shame. They knew Lan Wangji was suffering right now. That he was grieving and it was their fault. Lan Qiren hated himself for ordering Lan Wangji's punishment by the discipline whip. He did that to his own nephew. He would have scars for the rest of his life and Lan Wangji had very nearly died after the thirty-three whip lashes for punishment, when really - they were all in the wrong first to begin with. 

And… Chenqing - no - Yanling Daoren's own past was so horrific and tragic. He couldn't imagine. None of them could. 

Wei Wuxian too had suffered tragedy, again and again and they did not see nor care to see his pain and help him. They used him and threw him away and cornered him, driving him to his death. They did not know how much Wei Wuxian had sacrificed, how much he had suffered. They never wanted to, so instead they turned their eyes away unless it was to antagonize him and accuse him of evil deeds because of his cultivation. They only caused him more grief and suffering. 

To think… to realize they had all fallen so far… 

What had they done?

|•|•|•|•|•|

They watched Wei Wuxian's memories of the Sunshot Campaign. If it had not been for him, if he had not come back and resorted to Demonic Cultivation, they would have lost from the beginning. They watched as he created the Stygian Tiger Seal and watched as it helped them beat back the Wens and watched as it seemed to suck the life and energy out of Wei Wuxian every time he was on the battlefield. They watched Wei Wuxian as he would carelessly brush off his injuries and continue fighting until he would finally get back to his tent and collapse on the ground when he was alone. 

He was always exhausted. He was constantly tired and sore down to his bones, his injuries were slow to heal without the help of his golden core. Wei Wuxian was worn and weary, but he forced himself to keep fighting without resting. Ever since the Burial Mounds, they realized he hadn't had one bit of any good, decent sleep. He never really allowed himself to rest. He kept pushing more strain onto his now more fragile body, and pushing his mind continuously without taking a break, for his clan’s sake and theirs, throughout the Sunshot Campaign.

Everyone watched, witnessing his breakdowns behind the scene of his tent when they had casualties on their side. Always berating himself and speaking down to himself and cursing everything when he was alone and angry at the situation. Feeling weak and helpless despite having demonic cultivation. He had placed a large, heavy burden upon his shoulders and they just kept digging and attacking him over and over until in the end he finally broke completely and snapped. 

Yanling Daoren and Suibian's hearts were heavy. If only they could have done more. 

Yanling Daoren sighed, pausing the memory viewing and giving everyone a slight reprieve and letting the memories really sink in along with Wei Wuxian's emotions.

 A low laugh echoed throughout the silent room. Yanling Daoren's eyes snapped to the source. Suibian was already glaring with intense hostility at the individual. 

 "He used demonic cultivation. He had it coming and did it to himself!" Jin Guangshan’s lips quirked. "Who cares about him anyway? His own shidi led everyone in the siege and stabbed him with his sword. What does that say?" 

Jiang Cheng snapped to his feet angrily. "What the fuck did you just say?! You slimy son of a bitch!" He whipped Zidian out, ready to attack Jin Guangshan. 

"Do not talk about Wei Ying like that. Wei Ying had a good heart. Do not insult him." Lan Wangji stood as well, fists clenched, glaring with narrow eyes at Jin Guangshan. 

Suibian growled, fed up. 

One second was all it took. Suibian broke one of Jin Guangshan's arms and punched a bleeding, gaping hole in the middle of his stomach from the force of his blow. "I could damn well rip your fucking heart out with my bare hands in an instant if I wanted to right now. You keep testing my fucking patience and it's wearing, oh, so thin." Suibian lips curled in a cruel smirk, eyes glinting with a terrible rage down at Jin Guangshan, like he was simply a bug to squash beneath his foot. He yanked his arm out with a disgusting wet noise echoing through a horrified silence.

Everyone stared in shock and horror. Jin Guangshan was bowed over on the floor, coughing up blood and bleeding. Suibian stood above him coldly, wiping the blood on his hand with a cloth. 

"I warned you. I do not care if you are a descendant of my blood. You are nothing to me. I will end your miserable existence without batting an eye, and not lose sleep over it. Do you understand me? You better speak up quickly or I will let you bleed out here and now and I dare anyone to step up to help you. Well, either way by the end you will die. I can assure you of that but I will allow you a little more time to flail about your miserable life until I decide when it's time to end it. You can try to run, try to hide, and try to fight me but you will lose at every turn and only prolong your inevitable suffering unless I say otherwise.  Now, was I clear enough for you this time?" Suibian stared down at Jin Guangshan, who nodded frantically. 

"Good." He placed his palm over the gaping bloody hole he inflicted on Jin Guangshan's body and let power flow through him, his hand emitting a soft golden glow and quickly sealing up the wound until it was as if it ever existed. 

Suibian backed away with a grumbled sigh and looked to Yanling Daoren. His heart pinched painfully as he suddenly recalled his own past life and hidden memories of the past life before that, which Yanling Daoren didn't know about. He has two past lives and in the first… he caused Yanling Daoren to suffer. 

He regretted it terribly and blamed himself and his heart still loved and still yearned for this person. But things went even more downhill when he reincarnated in his second life with no memories and had to share the bloodline the filthy bastard Jin Guangshan had tarnished. He remembered both lives and he had been both people. They were both himself and he carried all those memories now. As much anger and hatred he bore against Jin Guangshan, it did not amount to the hatred towards himself for breaking Yanling Daoren's heart so long ago.

He swore he would make up for that past life and never leave this special person again or be foolishly puppeteered into betraying the man of his heart. Never again. Too much anger swirled inside him, ignited by the bastard Jin Guangshan from the beginning and he needed to calm down. He took deep slow breaths until he calmed down. 

Suibian closed his eyes and opened them again as he then released a heavy sigh, looking at Yanling Daoren and communicating with him through their eyes, silently. They resumed Wei Wuxian’s memory viewing once more from where they had left off.

Suibian scooted closer to Yanling Daoren's side so that their shoulders and legs were touching against each other, and Suibian leaned his weight a bit on the other to offer comfort as more of Wei Wuxian's memories unfolded, and Suibian discreetly, and carefully entangled their fingers together and held on tightly. And he never wanted to let go. 

Chapter Text

After long and arduous efforts, the Sunshot Campaign finally came to an end. Lotus Pier was still in the finishing process of being rebuilt. 

Time seemed to speed up and drag slowly all at once. 

Wei Wuxian was walking around the town, thinking back on about nearly three weeks ago with the confrontation between him and the what's-his-name Jin, Jin Zixuan's cousin during the night hunt on Phoenix Mountain. He felt bad about Shijie stepping in the situation for his sake. She defended him as family. It made his chest warm up with a familiar familial affection towards her. 

Shijie was truly amazing. He admired and adored her. She was his friend, big sister and mother-like figure all wrapped in one. She and Jiang Cheng were important to him. He would do anything for them. No matter what it cost him in return. 

Shijie and Jiang Cheng had no clue that he didn't have his golden core anymore, let alone that he gave it away to Jiang Cheng. It needed to stay that way. This secret would be taken to his death. 

Others were starting to talk again and spread rumors and discord. Wei Wuxian knew that if he stayed with them, it would only bring them more trouble than either needed right now. Jiang Cheng was working so hard to rebuild the sect.

Wei Wuxian sighed. 'I knew I would have to leave them sooner or later. I just hadn't wanted it to be so soon.' 

The other sects are looking for an opening - a weakness. They wanted to drive a wedge between him and Jiang Cheng because of his cultivation and that he was now considered an unknown threat and everyone accused Jiang Cheng of being power hungry and whatever else, 'keeping Wei Wuxian’s power' all to himself. Wei Wuxian was immensely annoyed by the sects that kept coming to him with offers for him to join their sect. Greedy bastards. 

Suibian smirked as many sect leaders went red with shame. He couldn't help but feel validated. The words he had wanted to say but couldn’t all those years ago were being conveyed through his master.

And because of that, he couldn't let Jiang Cheng get dragged down with him. Wei Wuxian would soon have to defect from the Jiang Sect, to protect Jiang Cheng. He wouldn't let Jiang Cheng fall with him. But in order to keep one promise, the promise to Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang, he would be breaking the promises he made to Jiang Cheng. Even though he never says it allowed, Wei Wuxian would always view Jiang Cheng as his little Shidi. It's his responsibility to look after him as he promised, but also because… Jiang Cheng was his brother and friend. Wei Wuxian loved him as such and would do.anything for him, even if it slowly put a wedge between their relationship. 

He already gave his golden core, but as long as he breathed, he would still look out for his little brother for however long he could, until he was no longer needed. 

Wei Wuxian sighed and his thoughts suddenly wandered to Lan Wangji at Phoenix Mountain. He also remembered the strong maiden who had kissed him sensely while he was blindfolded before fleeing.  Wei Wuxian shook his head. He would probably never know who it had been. 

Suibian snickered as he snuggled closer to Yanling Daoren, who then looked at him with an arched brow but Suibian just gave him a sweet innocent smile.  Suibian turned to look at the golden eyed, white-robed cultivator with a wide devilish grin on his face and winked at Lan Wangji whose face had a faint blush and red ears.

 Lan Xichen stared at his baby brother and shook his head with a small smile. Lan Qiren looked like he was about to spit blood and faint, being reminded of the memory scene where they had all watched a shameless version of Han-Guangjun kiss Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch in the memory. 

Many were staring still in shock and muttering to themselves. It was no maiden. It was Han-Guangjun himself. 

Nie Huaisang's eyes squinted as his lips curled into a smile which was hidden behind his fan. 

   Wei Wuxian sighed again. 

He met Lan Wangji again not that long ago. The other man kept bringing up his cultivation method and the consequences of walking the path of demonic cultivation. Wei Wuxian was tired of it being thrown in his face. 

  He knows. Of course he knows, more than anyone, the price he must pay. He knew his temper was very slowly but surely getting worse as time went by. And all of it was a constant strain on his body which didn't have the same abilities without his golden core. And hasn't been able to sleep well since leaving Burial Mounds. The stress kept mounting and people kept cornering him left and right and he just wanted to be left alone. It was tiresome. 

And then Lan Wangji had to bring up his cultivation yet again and put him in a bad mood. 

Lan Wangji looked away and couldn’t help but flinch. He knew, since the start of their acquaintance, that they’d gotten off on the wrong foot. He knew that Wei Wuxian didn’t understand him as Lan Xichen did. 

But, perhaps some part of him clung to the fact that Wei Ying had declared himself a friend to Lan Wangji and therefore, Wei Ying would understand him, right? No.

That was not what had happened. 

But Lan Wangji did not know the extent of Wei Ying’s hurt. The other had always seemed to brush off whatever bad things happened to him. But in reality? Wei Ying internalized everything he had said. Every word was twisted and taken to mean that Lan Wangji cared not for him. 

Lan Wangji promised to himself. If–No, when they meet again, he wouldn’t hold back his words. He’d convey what he truly meant to Wei Ying.  

Wei Wuxian walked closer toward a vendor after scenting a nice aroma and paused, staring at the person beside the vendor hugging their knees on the ground. Their clothes matted with dirt and grime, covered in filth. 

 He knew who this person was. The other noticed him and hurriedly stood up and struggled to walk to him and collapsed once again near his feet, holding onto his robes desperately. 

To see such a strong willed woman that held her head high with pride reduced to such a state truly shocked him. He hadn't seen Wen Qing since she and her brother helped save him and Jiang Cheng and since he asked and had her remove his golden core to give it to his younger brother. 

He had a bad feeling as she gazed at him with desperate, tear-filled eyes that begged him to help her. "Please! If it's you… if it's you…! You're the only one who can help me.. please. A-Ning… A-Ning, help me save A-Ning!" She cried. Wei Wuxian closed his eyes and stood still for a moment.

She needn't beg him to help her. He would have helped her regardless of what she had done for him, or what her brother had done for him. And Wen Ning was his friend. 

 He would help her, because it was the right thing to do. It didn't matter if their surname was Wen, it didn't make them like Wen Chao or Wen Ruohan, Wen Qing dealt in medicine and Wen Ning was the sweetest boy who couldn't hurt a fly. 

"Shh, shh. Wen Qing, come. Let's get you some food, yeah?" He helped her up and guided her unsteady steps. "Careful now, I've got you." He murmured. 

He bought her some food, sat her down and then she told him what had happened. His face darkened, becoming very grim. He told her to wait for him to return, so that she could rest but she refused and demanded she was going with him. 

He gave up and decided to let it be. But he hoped, within his heart, but it was not too late. He hoped it was not too late and that he would make it on time to save Wen Ning. 

|•|•|•|•|•| 

   As he rushed to Qiongqi path with Wen Qing at his side, recalled the infuriating attitude of Jin Zixuan's cousin and how their actions and others appalled him. Just because someone bore the surname Wen, they were guilty by association even if they were innocent branches of Wen families dragged into the chaotic mess. He knew in his heart that Wen Qing was no terrible evil like the rest of the Wens, like Wen Chao. And Wen Ning… he was too sweet and innocent and yet that little asshole Jin treated their lives so callously just like Jim Guangshan and the rest of their sect and no one else said anything or spoke up against it. He had stormed into Koi Tower disrupting Jin Guangshan's banquet - having to threaten Jin Zixuan's cousin just to get the answer he needed which still made everything feel as though he were too late. 

He begged, deep in his heart, that he wasn't too late. 

  Jin Guangshan was silent, face down, in embarrassment and shame and he could refute nothing at this point. Everyone else looked down, ashamed and filled with guilt once again. They always spoke of justice and doing the right thing and yet… What did they do? 

Nothing. 

He was sickened by what he saw. The Jins had really taken things too far. All he saw were enslaved innocent people who bore the surname Wen, made up of a few elderly and middle-aged citizens and a young male child, a toddler that was being carried on the back of an elderly woman who was clearly in pain and carrying a flag and the boy looked to be starving and so small. 

He did not see Wen Ning and no matter how Wen Ning called his name, he did not answer. Wen Ning begged one of the Jin guards and was shoved away. Wei Wuxian was enraged. He'd had enough. He had seen enough. If they would not comply willingly while he was being nice then they left him no choice. 

  Wei Wuxian was silent as the inspector told Wen Qing after she inquired about her brother, that he probably ran away and she told him that all the others were here and that her brother would not run away.

  The inspector told her she could search for him, that all of the people were here. 

Everyone began to hear some relentless whispering and wondered what it came from. Until they realized that it was coming from Wei Wuxian. What on earth was that?

“It’s resentful energy.” Yanling Daoren mentioned offhandedly. Everyone was horrified. Namely Jin Guangshan, who had always been curious about demonic cultivation. “In case you were wondering. He has always heard these voices but managed to suppress them until now. After all,” He drawled lazily, a sharp smile painting his face. “The amount of torture the Jins put these people through were desperate and heartbreaking enough that he wasn’t able to push them away.”

They all shivered. This is what Wei Wuxian heard on a daily basis?

“Master has always had a kind heart.” Suibian agreed. “And the pleas from these innocents were ones he was unable to ignore.”

The Jins in the room had the gall to look uncomfortable. Suibian clenched his fists. It was because of them that Master fell. The anger in him was too great. Oh, how he wanted to–

A sharp squeeze brought him out of his thoughts. Yanling Daoren was holding his hand, giving him a comforting smile. Suibian calmed down. Not yet. He shouldn’t act yet. These people should know the extent of their sins before that.

Wei Wuxian's mouth curled menacingly as his voice cut like a blade through the air. "They are all here?" He paced back and forth like a caged animal ready to snap, twirling his flute. All the faces of inspectors beside the one that had spoken froze.

 "That's right," the inspector replied.

"Very well, then. I'll take that as all the living are here, but what of the rest of them?" Wei Wuxian asked, watching them closely. The inspectors paled further, fear shone on their faces. They knew what he was asking, what 'the rest of them' meant. 

"Though the Wens are here, we swear we never dared to do anything fatal to them." The one inspector spoke up again. 

  Wei Wuxian had pretended he hadn't heard him, his flute was already being lifted towards his lips.

  The few prisoners that had been near him screamed as they threw off the heavy objects they had and fled. 

 The inspectors lost their cool and everyone around him was panicking. He was at the center of a circle that had form from people that had hurriedly back away to give him a wide berth of space. 

"It's the ghost flute, Chenqing!" Many people exclaimed in terrified shouts. 

Wei Wuxian played a single sharp note and put Chenqing away with a terribly cold grin. He stood with his arms hanging still at his sides, hair and clothes soaked from constant pelting from the rain. It had been raining since before he had arrived and had not let up yet.

 "What is that sound?" Someone spoke aloud. Soon, the inspectors were wide eyed and shaking as they stared at the tattered clothes of figures standing around in the area where Wei Wuxian stood. The stench of rotting corpses permeated the air and the bodies looked downright horrifying. At the forefront stood none other than Wen Ning himself. 

 Wei Wuxian himself turned a sorrowful gaze into his young friend, Wen Qing was already clinging to her dead brother and sobbing heartbroken sobs.

  Wen Ning was pale as wax with dilated pupils. There was dried blood at the corner of his lips and half of his ribcage was already sunken, already collapsed.  His chest did not rise and fall at all. Wen Ning was really… he had really died. 

He was really too late after all. He hadn't wanted to believe it. He had internally begged Wen Ning not to answer his call. 

 Wei Wuxian's lips quivered and he bit hard into his bottom lip, instantly drawing blood. He closed his eyes to gather himself together and slowly opened them to stare at the Jins, at the inspectors.

“Wen Ning was a cultivator.” Suibian said, somewhat randomly.

Lan Qiren and many others were confused. Why mention that–oh. Oh.

Wen Ning was a cultivator . Which means he had to have done the soul cleansing ritual. He shouldn’t have been able to become a fierce corpse. But he did. How is that possible?

“What kind of torture did he go through to breath the soul cleansing ritual?” Lan Qiren muttered.

Nothing short of hell, many speculated, considering the broken ribs, the handprints around his throat, the thinness of his flesh, and probably many other issues.

"Who killed him?" Wei Wuxian's tone was chilling to the bone. 

Someone decided to speak and give him a whole spiel of saying such a thing and that none of them would dare to kill anyone there. Saying it was Wen Ming's fault for not being careful and fell off the valley walls to his death.

'These imbeciles really take me as a fool. They think I could not know the truth and dare lie to my face.' 

"Oh, I understand," Wei Wuxian smiled coldly, "it's because they are Wen-dogs, right? None of you see the Wen-dogs as people so it doesn't count if you kill them. Is that what you meant?" He growled.

Wei Wuxian walked forward, eyes on the pale and trembling inspectors as he spoke slowly. "Did you really think that I wouldn't know how someone died?" 

  All the inspectors were silent. Speechless. 

"It's best to be honest from this point. Now, tell me which one of you killed him?"

One of the inspectors stumbled in their speech as they spoke out, speaking about how well Yunmeng Jiang Sect and the Jin sect were getting along.

"Is that a threat?"

"W-what? N-no!"

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes. " Wen Qionglin!" 

Wen Ning roared loudly and the inspectors scrambled back, petrified.

" The ones who caused you all to be like this - have them meet the same end at your hands! I give you that right. Settle the score, now!" Wei Wuxian demanded harshly, shouting. His wrath surging forward in the form of Wen Ning's vengeance with a spray of blood that seeped into the muddy earth as the death wails of the inspectors echoed long after they were violently torn apart. 

 Torn, shredded limbs and bleeding stumps of body parts were strewn across the ground, mixing with the rain and mud. 

 Wei Wuxian whistled sharply and the corpses all froze and became eerily still. He released the majority and the corpses collapsed to the ground, freed from his control. Wen Ning was by his side with talismans all over him to make sure he didn't go berserk. 

  He stole the Jins horses and after ushering terrified Wen Remnants to leave with him, he snatched up the only infant of the bunch from his granny and sat him on the same horse as him despite the Granny's protest. They had no time. They need to move quickly and not linger here. Wen Qing was sobbing quietly behind him but he could not offer any words of comfort at this moment.

Wei Wuxian was quite worried about the child he was holding as he rode away, the rest of the Wen Remnants following closely behind. 

The child was very thin, bones nearly protruding from his skin and had bruises all over his small body. His anger flared once more.

 'They laid their hands on a child?!' 

He really wanted to go back and kill them all over again. Maybe he had gone too far today but had any of them stopped to wonder if they had also taken things too far? No. None of them cared. They didn't care about how thin and tattered and harmless these Wen Remnants were, that they too were victims and treated them less than human and lied to him about killing Wen Ning. 

He glimpsed Wen Ning's death when he brought him back as a fierce corpse and even knew that before that those Jin inspectors had been lying through their teeth right this face and he lost patience with them. They thought they could play him like a fool. They thought wrong and paid the price. 

Now his priority was finding a safe place for these people he had taken under his wing. And do something to help the thin child trembling and silent in his grasps. He knew the Wens were also terrified of him, but that couldn't be helped. 

He didn't know who to turn to or where to go. Anxiety spiked up within him. He calmed, breathing slow.

A thought appeared in his mind. There was only one place he could go. The very same hell was thrown into by Wen Chao, the same hell he crawled out of after being trapped for three whole months.

'Burial Mounds.'

#####

He led the Wen Remnants to Burial Mounds and immediately got to work immediately to make the Burial Mounds habitable. He expelled the resentful energy that lingered but it took a large toll on his body and he collapsed into the ground, gagging and throwing up blood and lay spent for a moment since he was unable to gather strength to move his limbs.

A strange numbness crawled through his body and his sight was blurry and he felt his consciousness slipping and he blacked out. 

The next time he woke up, he was laid out on a makeshift bed, Wen Qing at his side. 

"You fool! You exhausted yourself to the brink of death! Had I not worried for you and came looking for you, you would have been a corpse! Your body cannot withstand the stress you are forcing upon it and without your golden core-"

"I know, I know!" Wei Wuxian waved her words away. "This is what I must do."

"You have done enough for us already, Wei Wuxian. You don't have to-"

 Wei Wuxian gave a brittle laugh. "You want me to leave? You no longer need my help, is that it? The moment I walk away and 'wash my hands free' from all of this, I would be leaving you all to die. Absolutely not. That's not the kind of man I am, despite what others may think. And I told you I would help you. I told you I would help you save Wen Ning-" Wei Wuxian bit his lips, squeezing his eyes shut at the sudden onslaught of emotion that made tears burn his eyes, guilt ," - I was too late. But I will fix this. I swear. I will bring Wen Ning's consciousness back."

A few days later Jiang Cheng came to Burial Mounds. He was not happy with Wei Wuxian's decision to shield the Wen Remnants and made a move to attack the sealed Wen Ning. 

Wei Wuxian stopped him.  He wished Jiang Cheng would understand his own position and where Wei Wuxian was coming from and a small part of him secretly wished Jiang Cheng would choose to stand by his side, knowing deep down that these Wens were innocent and not like the other Wens, which they had fought against, and they were not Wen Chao or Wen Ruohan. Wei Wuxian could not push his conscience aside. Wei Wuxian also stood and fought for what he believed in, and always did his best to stay true to his values and morals that he thought was the right thing to do, but he knew Jiang Cheng responsibility to the Jiang Sect and rebuilding it was more important and Wei Wuxian's current reputation would only taint him. Wei Wuxian could not ask Jiang Cheng to stand by his side, and he knew Jiang Cheng's hatred was too great. 

So all Wei Wuxian could do was pull away from the Wen Remnants sake as well as Jiang Chengs. 

Jiang Cheng left in anger and came back later.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng decided to stage a fight and make it clear Wei Wuxian had publicly 'defected' from The Jiang Sect, so he and Jiang Cheng staged a fight for it. Wei Wuxian was left with a stab wound from the fight which Wen Qing complained about as she patched him up. 

|∆•∆•∆•∆|

 After Wei Wuxian was able to move around, once again he was busy. He set up a protective barrier around Burial Mounds to keep any outsiders out and to protect the Wen Remnants and set corpses on patrol. 

Time passed gradually as Wei Wuxian moved around constantly, helping the Wen Remnants to build their homes and making plans for farming, and buying food so they could survive. Wei Wuxian knew it would not be easy and that they would all be struggling to get by. He knew a few things about being poor as a child before he was taken in by Sect Leader Jiang and also the three months trapped in this place where he had no food and resorted to eating flesh of the dead out of sheer desperation for survival. He wasn't all that picky. But the thought of eating any meat now made him sick because he would remember eating the corpses from when he was trapped in Burial Mounds for three months after Wen Chao threw him into the Burial Mounds. 

He detested Burial Mounds. He had been trapped in this place for three months, left for dead and forced to suffer alone because of Wen Chao and yet he returned to this place for the Wen Remnants sake. After clearing the resentful energy that had clung to this place it wasn't all that bad, except for how uninviting and bleak it looked. The air was much easier to breathe. 

Wei Wuxian sighed. 'It is what it is.'

The Wen Remnants feared him but we're also in awe of him, admiring and respecting him for unknown reasons. 

They feared him because they knew he had the highest kill count of other Wens during the Sunshot Campaign. But as they got to know and and be around him more, they saw his kindness, they saw his heart underneath all the darkness the seemed to cling to the surface. They noted that sometimes when he retired to his cave for the day and refused to come out to eat the rations of food put aside for him, a few dared to check on him and saw how fitfully he slept at times, crying put in his sleep, pleading apologizes, with a haunted look hiding in the contours of his expression. And sometimes they heard other troubled mutterings to himself. 

They noticed his blackouts and poor memory at times and they had overheard him be emotional once to Wen Qing, finally bursting at the seams under stress and how he once feared he was the same as the Jins for how he killed the other Wens, using his revenge as an excuse for some misguided justice even if they did deserve it. 

They truly saw him and got to know him little by little and Wei Wuxian was easy to like. 

The Wens slowly grew to trust him as a few weeks passed since they came to Burial Mounds and warmed up to him though because he stayed true to himself. He teased and cajoled and smiled brightly at them while running around helping them with their homes and getting settled. 

The child Wen Yuan became attached to his hip and Wei Wuxian loved to tease the boy and bury him in the dirt and call him his little radish. Despite knowing only more hardship was ahead and that the future was uncertain, these weary and worn people persevered and carved out a home in a place no one else ever wanted to live. 

They were resilient.

He worked and worked from then to help make sure their homes were sturdy and he worked alongside them to farm what food they could to survive off of. It was a constant struggle. Sometimes he kept to himself in his cage and worked on his notes on demonic cultivation should anyone ever be put in the same position he had, powerless and without a golden core, and for them to cultivate cautiously and not be reckless. Demonic cultivation was not for the weak willed. 

It gradually deteriorates the mind and body, the heart and soul. Like an extremely slow but deadly and fatal poison without anything to counteract it. He would live a little while using demonic cultivation but without his golden core and only the use of demonic cultivation at his hands, he wouldn't live out a long happy life. His life span would be shortened than had he still had his golden core and probably would live longer than a normal person who doesn't cultivate. He could feel the slow dull ache and pain of it ravaging his body on the inside. It's even more potent and deadly because of how he started cultivating resentful energy to begin with, in Burial Mounds. It was fueled by his own hatred and rage and need for revenge, which he already extracted. It festered like a disease. And the situation with the outside world, against him and the Wen Remnants and people making accusations against him and blaming him for everything and wanting the tiger seal for power and their own gains whether they admitted it or not. 

It all weighed down on his shoulders, a heavy burden he could not lift and free himself from because the damage was already done. And it was because of all this and his unstable emotional state that the resentful energy was ravaging him and killing him the way it was. It was hard to stay calm and collected and worry-free with the way things were and it was eating him alive inside. 

 He could feel how much it affected him, especially in regards to food. Demonic cultivation caused him to not feel hungry, even if his body needed the nutrients. Regardless, he wouldn’t be able to get much food. There was A-Yuan he needed to think about. A-Yuan didn’t deserve to perish in this wasteland. So he gave the little boy portions of his food so that he’d be healthy. 

Otherwise, he knew he could find a way to ease it all and stop the resentful energy from slowly killing him and live out a regular, full life, or as much as one as he could hope to have. But that was wishful thinking. There was no easy fix. No miracle. He can only do the best he can with what he has now. 

Everyone believed him arrogant and cocky. Sure, he was, but it was mostly a front and because he had to be. He had to believe, needed to believe that as long as he was alive, he was in control. He can control resentful energy. He has no other option, for without it he was well and truly powerless and more vulnerable and unable to protect that which he is trying so hard to protect. 

The rest of the cultivation world basically wanted him to lay down and die and or use his power that he created for their own use, like Jin Guangshan, who seems to want to be like Wen Ruohan, and the Wens who destroyed everything and hurt so many people. He saw the gleam in the man's eyes. Jin Guangshan was greedy, he lusted for power, to be at the top, for his sect to be number one. 

Wei Wuxian wasn't blind or a fool. He won't hand over The Stygian Tiger Seal. He honestly should have never created the damned thing, which was more powerful than he had expected to be and seemed to be somewhat sentient.  He had already attempted to destroy the thing but it fought back with every try. He knows, in order to destroy the thing, he would need to give up his life. But he couldn't, not yet, not while people still needed him. 

Wei Wuxian only created it because even with his new found power of demonic cultivation, controlling resentful energy and knowing he was the main largest force pushing the Wens back during the Sunshot campaign, alongside the help of the other sects fighting hard, they were still on the losing side of the battle. He needed something stronger and more powerful to help the sects defeat Wen Ruohan and the Wens responsible. It was literally the last option he had left. And so after telling Jiang Cheng about the sword in the cave, the XuanWu of Slaughter, he immediately went to find it and put it to use but decided to change the shape of it and made the Stygian Tiger Seal. 

He only used it once and vowed to never use it again and despite multiple attempts to destroy it without success, he would have to be far away from civilian's or anyone and destroy it, because not only would the backlash kill him, it could hurt those around him and he didn't want to take that risk. 

And yet, the cultivation world outside Burial Mounds, they wanted him to not fight back and accept his fate and hand over the innocent Wen Remnants to slaughter or give them the Stygian Tiger Seal for who knows what purpose. No. Not while he still lived and breathed. 

Never. 

'Once I'm sure the Wen Remnants are safe and I'm alone, I will destroy the Stygian Tiger Seal. I just need to hang on for a little while longer.' 

Just a little while longer. 

 Lan Wangji clenched his robes tightly in his fists, he was shaking. He tried to slow his breathing to calm himself down. He had no idea of Wei Ying's internal struggles. Nothing at all. 

 He was suffering… Why couldn't I try harder to reach him? Why? Why couldn't I find the words to confess to him? Instead the misunderstandings grew between us and he drifted further from my reach. 

Wei Ying… 

 Lan Wangji swallowed back the sob in his throat, eyes once again blurred, stinging with tears as he fought to keep from crying into a broken mess. 

A gentle hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing startled him, and he looked into Suibian's eyes. His eyes were full of understanding and kindness towards him. 

Lan Wangji's gaze returned to the memory viewing with a deep shaky breath, bracing himself, there was only one thought - one person in his mind which he heart continued to ache for. 

Wei Ying...

Chapter Text

 Another week had passed on Burial Mounds and Wei Wuxian had managed to purify a small portion of soil enough so that it is fertile and able to grow crops. They survived off the little funds Wei Wuxian had made from his time as 'head disciple' and that Shijie had given to him for his birthday he had saved from before when he was still with the Yunmeng Jiang Sect and had not 'defected'.  Luckily he had kept that money, and saved during those times… otherwise - Wei Wuxian couldn't imagine how much more difficult it would be to provide what he can for the Wen Remnants. 

  Wei Wuxian went and bought seeds and farming tools, making sure to bargain down the price as much as possible. Wei Wuxian had to be frugal with the money he had. 

After all, if he wasn't, it wouldn’t last long. Though it saddened Wei Wuxian to not be able to afford to buy A-Yuan toys when they were out. But he didn't have a choice...

Wei Wuxian needed to think of a plan going forward as to how to sustain them for the few years to come.

Wei Wuxian says few because he knows he doesn’t have long left. Whether it be a siege from the sects or demonic cultivation, one or the other will kill him. Wei Wuxian thinks he has perhaps five years at the most.

"Xian-gege! Xian-gege! Look!" A-Yuan whisper shouted excitedly, tugging on Wei Wuxian's after noticing some toys. 

'Ah, we really can't afford to buy a toy.' Wei Wuxian teases A-Yuan and tries to draw his attention from the toys while looking at what food he should buy to take to Burial Mounds. He sighed. Finding food was one thing. Growing food that they would be able to eat and possibly grow on such an infertile land was another. 

"Alright, A-Yuan, let's go back." He turned to look at his little radish. 

Wei Wuxian's heart jolted in fear. A-Yuan wasn't by his side. He had literally just been right next to him!

He hurriedly left the vendor, forgetting about what he was doing in favor of looking frantically for A-Yuan, calling out his name. 

 He went around, looking every bit like a distressed parent, asking people if they had seen a child with A’ Yuan’s description but all he got in reply was 'no'.  Just as he was about to be at his wit’s end, Wei Wuxian’s attention was drawn by a crowd up ahead, gawking at some scene, and he could hear a child wailing. 

'A-Yuan!' Wei Wuxian hurried forward, heart racing wildly in his chest. 

Wei Wuxian came to a stop when he saw the scene before him, his eyes lighting up. 

He doubled over laughing with his hand to his mouth. 

Lan Wangji stood amidst the crowd, frozen under all the watching eyes. He seemed at a loss of what to do and A-Yuan sat on the ground and had a grip on Lan Wangji's robes, bawling his eyes out. 

Pffft. Taking another look at Lan Wangji's expression,Wei Wuxian burst out laughing again, so hard he bent forward from the laughter nearly falling over. 

He heard one of the passersby speak up from the crowd in reply in assurance to someone else's comment about what was going on, muttering, "he was definitely scolded by his dad." 

Lan Wangji looked up immediately refuting them. 

Children always called out to those they were close to when they were scared, so A-Yuan kept crying out, 'Dad! Dad..!" 

There were more mutterings from the crowd saying Lan Wangji was definitely his dad even though he wasn't. 

Lan Wangji's expression became strange and Wei Wuxian decided to put them out of their misery and get them away from the crowd’s scrutiny. Wei Wuxian rubbed at the tears still lingering from his eyelashes after his laughter had long subsided.

Wei Wuxian pretended he only just saw the two when he spoke. 

"Eh, Lan Zhan?" 

Lan Wangji's head snapped up with force at his name, knowing instinctively who called his name. Their two eyes locked.

Wei Wuxian wasn't sure why, but he quickly turned his gaze away. A-Yuan stood up once he heard Wei Wuxian's voice and clung to his legs with big teary eyes. 

Wei Wuxian paid no mind to the crowd's incredulous comments, waving his hand at them to shoo them away. "Alright, it's over. It's over." 

The spectating crowd finally scattered and left them alone.  Wei Wuxian then turned and smiled at Lan Wangji. 

"Lan Zhan, what a coincidence! What are you doing here in Yiling?"

"A night-hunt." Lan Wangji answered, "Just passing by." 

After hearing no enmity in Lan Wangji's tone, Wei Wuxian relaxed. 

"...The child?" Lan Wangji inquired. 

"Mine," Wei Wuxian spoke up instantly, his mouth having moved on its own. 

Wei Wuxian laughed when he saw Lan Wangji's eyebrows twitch. "I'm joking, of course. He is someone else's. I just brought him out with me to play. How come you made him cry? Just what did you do?" 

Lan Wangji was indifferent when he spoke, "I did not do anything." 

Wen Yuan was still clutching Wei Wuxian's legs tightly, sobbing. Wei Wuxian understood. 

To many who saw Lan Wangji, who was beautiful as a jade and like an untouchable cloud, seemingly reserved and cold, his expression that doesn't seem to ever smile, that would frighten a child. 

Remembering this same jade-like man’s utterly lost expression made Wei Wuxian want to burst out into laughter again. 

‘Ah, why does seeing Lan Zhan like this bring me so much joy?’ A smile made his way on his face without him knowing as Wei Wuxian invited the other man to a meal.

As they made their way to the inn, Wen Yuan stared longingly at some toys.

“You like it?” Wei Wuxian asked.

“.......Yeah.” Wen Yuan sniffed.

“Do you want it?”

“Yes...” A-Yuan stares with big, glimmering eyes up a Wei Wuxian 

Wei Wuxian sighed and then turned away. As much as he wanted to indulge the child, they could not afford toys. They could barely afford to feed themselves, Wei Wuxian realized suddenly. 

What was he doing inviting Lan Wangji for a meal when they could barely provide for themselves? Wei Wuxian pondered over this and bit his lips. Maybe he could tell Lan Zhan that he doesn’t have any money? But then Lan Zhan might pity him and pay for the meal and Wei Wuxian would feel so bad.

Or would Lan Wangji think it to be a joke? Or would he not understand?

As much as Wei Wuxian didn’t want to think about it, Lan Zhan was a privileged person. 

  Lan Qiren huffed angrily, making an indignant noise. Yabling Daoren rolled his eyes and Suibian stepped up, looking down on Lan Qiren with a raised eyebrow. "What, was he wrong? Was Lan Wangji not provided for by you and your sect? Did he not get to spend time with his mother? And his father? I know the situation back then between the two and your sect was… unique and a private matter, but nonetheless, Lan Wangji still had you and Lan Xichen, he still had support. Were you perfect in your 'parenting'? Certainly not but Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen still turned out as fine men, better than most here." Suibian all but growled. 

"Wei Wuxian never remembered his parents. He survived years on the streets alone, fighting dogs over food, until he was finally taken in by the Jiang's. Even then… there was discord.  Madam Yu wanted to believe in rumors more than her husband and hardly tried to discuss things like a calm, rational, and mature adult," Suibian kept speaking, fueled by his once again growing anger. "She wielded her bitterness as a weapon and started immediately trying to drive a wedge between two young boys to make them hate each other and make it out to be a constant competition and making her own child feel insecure and inferior because of her misplaced anger on a child, who was looking up to these two adults to trust and wanting a place over his head and have food to eat and didn't want to be kicked out and not have anywhere to go. A child who just wanted a home with a roof over his head and food to eat and companionship. It's such a simple thing to want, basic needs anyone should have but not everyone is as fortunate to have." Suibian kept his sharp glare until Lan Qiren and the Lans looked away. 

From birth till now, Lan Wangji was guaranteed a roof over his head, a warm meal and clean clothes. Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, had an unstable rogue life with his parents and, while fun, was not a life meant for a young child, especially since they left him so early. His time on the streets, the bitterness he faced from Madam Yu, the passiveness from Uncle Jiang, the slow breakdown of his relationship with Jiang Cheng and even Shijie (who he knew had loved him and cared about him and tried soothe him when he needed it) had never really done anything to truly assuage his fears of never finding a home and reassured him, and with Madam Yu, he couldn't blame her nor did he blame Madam Yu. It was just the way things were and he had to accept it long ago. 

Aiya, why is he even thinking of this? It’s all in the past. There’s nothing Wei Wuxian could do to change it.

‘For now, let me enjoy one meal with Lan Zhan. For just one day, let me have a break.’

While Wei Wuxian was distracted, Lan Wagji had apparently bought the toys that A’ Yuan was eyeing. Wei Wuxian was both happy and sad. Happy, because A’ Yuan deserved to be pampered and spoiled, and sad that Wei Wuxian himself could not provide this comfort to A’ Yuan.

They sat down at an inn and ordered some food. Wei Wuxian made sure that A’ Yuan had some food while he ordered himself only a jar of cheap wine. He couldn’t afford much more than that but then Lan Wangji ordered some spicy dishes.

For a moment, Wei Wuxian was utterly bewildered. From what he knew, Lan Zhan only ate his clan’s bland, tasteless food. Why would he suddenly take an interest in food so spicy that only Wei Wuxian would dare to eat?

‘Is Lan Zhan…..trying something new??’

 Lan Xichen's eyes widened at seeing all the spice littered food placed before them. He realized why his little brother would have bought the spicy food dishes. Lan Wangji showed his love for someone mostly through actions and gestures, and sometimes it was so subtle. He knew Wangji did not eat spicy dishes, and his brother's food palette could not handle spices.

And Wei Wuxian had no idea, even then. Lan Xichen sighed heavily and glanced sadly at his younger brother. 

'Oh, Wangji…'  Lan Xichen turned his gaze back to the viewing, his heart having grown even heavier. 

Lan Qiren just shook his head and said nothing. 

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan! You like spicy food too?" He bent forward, "Spicy food is the best, isn't it?" Wei Wuxian gave a bright grin. 

"No. For Wei Ying." Lan Zhan spoke softly. We Wuxian blinked. "EH? For me? All this spicy food...is it for me? Lan Zhan! You're such a kind, generous person! So noble, Hanguang-Jun! So befitting of your status and name!" Wei Wuxian chuckled. 

Lan Wangji blinked but simply nodded. "Mn." 

Wei Wuxian turned to A-Yuan, who they had ordered dumpling soup for and made sure he was eating well next to him. A-Yuan had full cheeks, looking adorable and Wei Wuxian wanted to pinch his cheek. 

Lan Xichen's sigh had became more pronounced. "WangJi...Didi…" 

Lan Wangji was looking down at the ground. If only.he had tried to speak more openly and confessed sooner… maybe he could have helped Wei Ying more… 

Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang and a few other cultivators looked at Lan Wangji with pity, now recognizing his feelings for Wei Wuxian. There were more heavy, disheartened sighs echoing around the room. 

Matters of the heart… were never simple. 

 They all helped drive the wedge between them and they were the reason why Wei Wuxian had died… because they believed him to be some terrible evil villain. It's become more clear with each memory...how they were truly the ones at fault. 

They were more arrogant and ready to believe rumors, and clung to their hatred of the Wens after the war had ended. 

They remembered how much Wei Wuxian had contributed to the war against the Wens...if it wasn't for him...many of them would be dead right now. 

They remembered seeing how he gave up his golden core willingly for Sect Leader Jiang Cheng… and the cost that came with it. They antagonized him and insulted him for his cultivation (and he never had a choice) and drove a wedge between Wei Wuxian and Sect Leader Jiang, who still went along with it. Wei Wuxian tried to keep his distance and they were the instigators and they allowed themselves to be led by Sect Leader Jin Guangshan, of all people… they knew his personality, his character and they allowed themselves to be fooled and used by him against Wei Wuxian. 

And at the siege… they slaughtered innocent people. The Wen Remnants were truly just normal civilians, with no cultivation and no weapons. At the time, they didn't care, and only saw what they wanted to see. 

That Wei Wuxian had been building 'an army',  but there was no army - just the weak and the elderly… and a hidden child no less...like they would dare to kill a child. But back then… many hearts were in turmoil just thinking about it. 

They had fallen so low…

There were still a few cultivators who clung to their belief Wei Wuxian was just evil and that they were not in the wrong. 

Because they could not handle the truth.

They sat for a few moments, Wei Wuxian talking and teasing Lan Wangji lightly, making sure he steered from the topic of his cultivation. 

Wei Wuxian froze, alarmed when the talisman in his robes went up in flames. That was not a good sign.

 He grabbed A-Yuan and apologized to Lan Wangji as he left in a hurry back to Burial Mounds, though he hadn't gotten very far as Lan Wangji stopped him and questioned him where his sword was. Wei Wuxian laughed lightly and brushed it off with the wave of his hands as he gave some excuse, trying to hurry. 

"I will take you." Lan Wangji spoke. Wei Wuxian stared at him before giving a small sigh and going along with Lan Wangji, he gripped tight on A-Yuan as they flew back to Burial Mounds. 

  ☆◇☆◇☆

    Wei Wuxian coughed, spitting blood after Wen Qing smacked his back, Lan Wangji holding him up, having prevented him from collapsing. "Ah, Wen Qing, you're so cruel.." He whined. Wen Qing rolled her eyes. 

Wen Ning approached, everything about the newly conscious fierce corpses of his friend apologetic, eyes that could no longer shed tears were full of guilt. Wei Wuxian laughed, teasing him, "it's okay, Wen Ning. Nothing I couldn't handle. All that matters is your back now."

"Thank you, Young Master Wei."

Wei Wuxian smiled, "No need. Don't thank me, it was the least I could do." 

'After all, it's my fault you ended up like this, in a moment of rage. Because I was the one who failed.'

'Because I was too late and those Jin bastards did whatever the hell they wanted and still didn't think they had done anything wrong.' 

'I failed you. I failed Wen Qing after promising to save you.'

'So...this was the least I could do, restoring your consciousness after promising that I would.'

'Deep down, I wasn't a hundred percent sure it would work...but I couldn't let Wen Qing down, couldn't let them all down. I didn't give up and attempted the impossible again and against the odds, I succeeded.'

It worked.  Wei Wuxian closed his eyes momentarily at the fleeting feeling of relief that he instantly shoved away and opened his eyes again, turning his attention to Lan Wangji. 

A part of him had the sudden inexplicable urge to ask him to stay, which was absurd. Ludicrous. There was no way he couldn't ask him to stay and the other couldn't anyway. He had a sect to return to after all. 

He couldn't drag Lan Wangji down with him. 

He wouldn't taint Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji was pure and upright, he was everything good. It was better this way. 

"Come," Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, "I'll see you off."

Wei Wuxian walked Lan Wangji down the dark path of the Burial Mounds, stopping at a certain point, where the light of dawn could finally be seen, brightening the treacherous bleak skies of the Burial Mounds. The bright dawn broke through the scent of death and darkness, and the sharp pristine scent of sunlight and clean air permeated around the three of them - warring with the foreboding aura of Burial Mounds behind Wei Wuxian and Wen Yuan who clung to his legs.

"Rich-gege, you won't be eating here?" Wen Yuan peeked out from beside Wei Wuxian, staring with his big shiny eyes and pout on his lips. 

Lan Wangji reached out with his hand and gently caressed the boy's head before pulling back again. 

A-Yuan came forward, excitement coating his voice. "A-Yuan heard a secret! There will be lots of good food today!"

"He has food waiting for him at home, A-Yuan, so he can't stay." Wei Wuxian chided gently. 

 "Oh.." A-Yuan’s excitement faded and his small shoulders drooped, disappointment all over his face. He said nothing else after that. 

They stood in silence for a few moments. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji stared at one another in the quiet. 

Wei Wuxian's voice broke the silence. 

"Lan Zhan, you asked me earlier if I intend to stay like this from now on. I would like to ask you something as well. What can I do? What can I do aside from this?”

Wei Wuxian continued, “What if I give up the demonic path? Then what will become of the people on this mountain?

“Give up these people? I won’t do it. I can't. And I believe that if you were me… if you were in my place, you also would not be able to do it either.”

Wei Wuxian, looking out to the lit horizon overhead of the darkness, spoke once again, “Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on. A road where I could protect those I want to protect without having to cultivate the ghostly path.”

 'That path is no longer available to me. This is how things must be. Someone must stand for the Wen Remnants. They are innocent, and wanted to live peaceful lives. Someone has to protect them, protect A-Yuan.'

Lan WangJi's golden eyes stared at him. He had no reply.

 . . . For they both already knew the answer inside their hearts.

There was no such road.

No solution existed.

The light that hovered just above the dark skies of Burial Mounds seemed to outline Wei Wuxian with a soft warm glow as a sweet, yet bittersweet smile twisted his lips when he spoke to Lan Wangji. Almost despondent, but still determined. 

Wei Wuxian spoke slowly - softly, “Thank you for accompanying me today. And thank you for giving me the news about my shijie’s marriage too. However, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on. I, too, know what I should and shouldn’t do. I believe that I’ll be able to control it as well.”

' People will say what they want, believe what they want, hear what they want and condemn me either way. It doesn't matter to them if they don't have the truth or the whole story, some will speak rumors and others will believe them. 

  I know my reasons, I stand for what I believe in, my values and morals. I only wish to protect those dear to me, even with my dreadful, dark cultivation. It's all I have, the only power I have to defend myself and fight, fight to protect those I care for. Without it. . . I'm vulnerable. '

'Let them believe I am simply arrogant, power hungry, and that I chose to walk this path. I didn't choose this path. They know nothing, and it will stay that way as long as I have anything to say about it. I hope no one ever knows. . . If Jiang Cheng knew about my golden core. . . He would not take it well. He can never know.'

As if Lan Wangji had anticipated such an attitude since a while ago, Lan WangJi nodded slightly and closed his eyes.

This marked their farewell. 

 . . . . .

On the way back up the mountain, Wen Yuan held one of his hands and his wooden sword in the other, with his glass butterfly perched on his head. 

"Xian-gege, would Rich-gege come back here again?' 

"Whose 'Rich-gege', A-Yuan?" Wei Wuxian burst, arching his brow in question. 

Wen Yuan spoke very seriously. "Rich-gege is rich."

"What about me?" 

Expectedly, Wen Yuan replied, "You're Xian-gege, poor-gege."

Wei Wuxian gave the boy a look and picked the butterfly on Wen Yuan’s head, "What, you like Lan Zhan just because he has money?"  

Wne Yuan grasped, reaching for the butterfly on his tippy toes trying to grab it. "Give it back… he bought it for me!" 

Wei Wuxian teases Wen Yuan, placing the butterfly upon his own head. "I won't. You even called him dad. You've only called me brother!"

"I didn't call him dad!" 

"I heard it," Wei Wuxian sniffed, "I don't care. I want to be someone above brothers and dads," he looked at A-Yuan, "What should you call me?" 

Wen Yuan closed his little arms, pouting. "A-Yuan doesn't want to call you mom… It's weird." 

Wei Wuxian snickered inwardly, wanting to laugh but he swallowed it down as he continued to tease Wen Yuan as they made their way back until he tossed the butterfly back onto Wen Yuan’s head. He hurried to place it back inside his pocket.

"Will Rich-gege come back or not?" Wen Yuan gazed up at Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian was still smiling. 

He replied a little later. "He probably won't come back."

Wen Yuan was disappointed. "Why not?"

"Why? There is no why. In this world, each person has their own things to do, their own paths they walk. He is busy enough with his own sect. How could he have the time to follow and stick around others?"

Wen Yuan responded with an 'oh' and seemed to be discouraged, looking at the ground, and still pouting. Wei Wuxian smiled and ruffled his hair. 

He and Lan Wangji were not on the same path at all. 

Wei Wuxian grabbed Wen Yuan and tucked him under his arm, humming, "Who cares for the wide, straight and narrow broad road, crowded so, I will walk in the night on this plank bridge - the dark where there's no light - through all the night. . ."

Night…

Huh?

It didn't seem like nighttime at all, for there was light after all. 

Wei Wuxian stopped abruptly, staring at the sight before him, eyes widening. 

All around the little shacks were swept clean and weeds removed. A few red lanterns were all hung up in the forest on the sides, and these lanterns were all made by hand. Though the shapes were simple, each lantern on the branches gave off a warm light that lit up the pitch darkness of the forest. 

And unlike usual, everyone was waiting for him. Wei Wuxian walked over with Wen Yuan under his arm. "Why are you all here today and not sleeping? These lanterns. . . It's so bright."

Wen Qing walked out from the kitchen at the side, a plate in her hand. "They were hung for you. Tomorrow, we will make more to hang along the mountain path. Hurrying around in the dark all the time, you're bound to trip and break your bones sometime."

"But I have you, even if that does happen." 

Wen Qing arched a brow, "that would make far too much work and it's not like I'm getting paid. If you do end up breaking them, don't you dare complain when I hamper your bones when putting them back in place."

Wei Wuxian backed away with a shiver. 

He noticed everyone had made a place for him, and hadn't even started to eat yet. 

They waited for him. 

As he took a seat made for him at the head of one of the tables, he took everything in. A-Yuan was with Granny now and speaking animated lyrics with her and everyone's eyes were on Wei Wuxian.

In the past… it was not that he couldn't tell that they had been afraid of him. They had all heard about the things he did during the Sunshot Campaign and knew of his ruthless reputation during that time, of the almost cruel ways he vented his anger and they had witnessed with their own eyes how he had also used corpses to kill others. 

 In the beginning, the first couple of days, Granny Wen's legs shook every time she saw him and she would hold onto Wen Yuan tightly as if to protect the child from him. And Wen Yuan would hide behind her legs whenever he saw Wei Wuxian. 

He would never dare harm a child. He'd die first. And he had only gone after Wens who deserved his wrath. 

They only started to approach him after some time had passed, it was slow and gradual as they came to know him and learned to trust him. 

And at the very moment, they were all staring at him. 

Although some of the gazes still held  a slight bit of fear in them that would probably never go away. For alongside some caution and a bit of ingratiation, that fear had stemmed from veneration as well. Even more so, those eyes all held the same gratitude and kindness that were also present within the eyes of the Wen siblings. 

"You have worked very hard these past few days," Wen Qing said in a low voice. 

"Ah, with you suddenly speaking so nicely to me all of the sudden… I'm a little frightened? "Wei Wuxian blinked slowly. 

He hastily shut up, having seemed to have heard her knuckles crack. Inside himself, he had a small smile. 

She continued softly, admitting that they had all wanted to eat dinner with him but he's always so restless and busy or holed up in his cave and they didn't want to disturb or annoy him and thought he didn't like interacting with others or that he didn't want to talk to them, and they were too embarrassed to talk to him. 

And then Wen Qing mentioned wine. They wanted to drink wine and eat with him. 

The thought of wine had him even more thrilled inside. 

When he praised them for the wine, they all smiled brightly at him as if they had received the greatest of compliments from him and began to eat. 

It was the very first time Wei Wuxian could not tell what the wine tasted like. 

'It's not so dark after all.' 

Wei Wuxian brought the wine to lips again and took a sip to savor it this time instead of gulping it down and he was smiling. 

 His heart felt content in this moment, realizing that with some light guiding him, his path wasn't so dark and with these people he swore to himself to protect, these people who had become like a second family to him, all the more precious . 

He basked in the warmth and peace of the moment, even with the lingering feeling of shadows at the back of his mind for whatever the next day may bring, whatever the future held -

 This moment… looking at all of them, at A-Yuan, who beamed at him and tried to share some of his food and called him Xian-gege. 

His smile grew to a full grin. He pushed away his worries and lived in this moment. 

  Jiang Cheng flinched, hand gripping tightly above his heart. 

Wei Wuxian… brother… I'm so sorry. 

Lan Wangji's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, his heart feeling pricked by thousands of needles at seeing his beloved’s bright, content grin and how he seemed to glow with happiness in that moment, despite the darkness, despite everything he suffered up to that current moment and he knew how Wei Ying felt moved and touched by the Wens lighting his way on Burial Mounds.

Many cultivators once again felt shame and guilt, knowing they also helped kill the Wen Remnants or they stood by and did nothing as innocent people were unjustly slaughtered, they just didn't realize how wrong they were back then. 

They had really made terrible mistakes and they couldn't be undone. 

Lan Qiren sighed heavily, heart feeling weighed down by his own guilt and shame. How he wished. . . Lan Qiren shook his head to himself.

Lan Xichen tried to comfort Lan Wangji as best as he could and felt he had let his little brother down. 

Nie Mingjue was patting his younger brothers back in an attempt to comfort him, as the other held his fan closely, tears falling from his eyes. 

Xiao Xingchen's felt sorrow for his young shidi who seemed to have suffered so much and there was still more to come. He glanced at Song Lan, who nodded to him and stood close, saying. I'm here. 

Yanling Daoren and Suibian huddled close together, fingers intertwined, focused on Wei Wuxian's memories as they unfolded bit by bit.

Yanling Daoren's gaze turned toward Lan Wangji and he smiled.

It seemed like someone decided to show himself.

Chapter Text

 The cultivators that were still gathered in the large hall of Lotus Pier, looked on in shock as white smoke seemed to suddenly fill the air, coming from Lan Wangji's direction but even Lan Wangji seemed perplexed. The white smoke started to shape a figure and solidify into a physical form. 

 Gasps echoed around the room once they could finally see the figure and their face. 

He was beautiful, carrying a noble and majestic aura. His eyes were downcast, showcasing long eyelashes. He seemed like a beautiful ice sculpture that came to life with humanoid flesh. He opened his eyes slowly and took his time looking around the room before turning to Lan Wangji, the person he was standing next to and gave a soft smile. 

"It's so good to finally meet you and speak to you, little brother, and you as well A-Huan. My dear little brothers."

Little brothers??? What????!

Lan Wangji's eyes widened before growing hard. The figure chuckled. "Ah, as to be expected." 

"Ah, I'm sorry…?" Lan Xichen had a bewildered, strained smile. 

"My apologies, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lan Xuan. I know you would find it difficult to trust someone you've just met, but I've been by your side the whole time."

"That's Blasphemy! We do not know you and you are not a part of the Lan Sect. You are an imposter, how dare you!" Lan Qiren spoke angrily.

Lan Xuan dropped his smile, becoming serious. "Uncle… of course you don't remember me." Lan Xuan's expression turned sad and he smiled bitterly. 

Lan Xuan sighed, and slowly raised his hand. "Allow me to show you the truth from my own memories if you doubt my words."

Towards the round sphere of resentful energy in the room that had been showing Wei Wuxian's memories before they took a small break to breathe and take it all in, Lan Xuan sent a tendril of white smokey energy to form and show his own memories. 

30[ish] years ago (?) (Lan Xuan's memories)

"Lan Xuan, come sit by your mother." 

Lan Xuan was just brought to his mothers house by his Uncle Qiren, who refuses to open the door and leaves the moment Lan Xuan is inside. 

His mother was beautiful as always in her white robes. He didn't understand why she never left and stayed stuck in this place. He was only allowed to visit her twice a month. Once at the beginning and near the end. They would chat about anything, everything except his studies and why she never left her house. 

Lan Xuan would cuddle with her and sometimes create origami or draw and talk about the cool places she had seen once and sometimes he would just sit in her arms and she would brush his hair and card her fingers through it and allow him to do the same to her. Or they would sit by the window and watch the outside world together in peace. 

He hated how she seemed, like a beautiful bird locked away in a cage. But his mother didn't seem to mind. She never complained. She was always smiling and teasing him. 

He shuffled close to her and sat by her side, and leaned into her warm embrace when he opened she wrapped her arms around him. He breathed in her flowery scent as he nestled in her embrace before pulling away. 

"My sweet boy," She chuckled. Lan Xuan's cheeks flushed, stubbornly turned away from her. 

She teased him and made paper cranes with him and would hum songs and sing to him. 

A knock sounded at the door. "Ah, they are here with our meals." She got up and answered the door. He peeked around her to stare at the person and their eyes locked. Lan Xuan flinched at the cold disdain in his eyes. He recognized the Lan Elder as one who speaks with one of his teachers (the teacher that didn't seem to like his mother and would mutter rude things under his breath if he passed by Lan Xuan) and whenever that teacher looked at him, it made him uneasy. This Lan Elder and that teacher seemed like close friends and he didn't trust them. 

He didn't tell his mother how one of his teachers said things and gave him strange looks and talked bad about his mother when it was just Lan Xuan or only when he would hear it. He didn't want to trouble his mother or his Uncle Qiren, so he bore their distaste and disdain toward him and his mother quietly. 

He didn't like this Lan Elder, or that teacher. They were quite mean when no one was around, always speaking ill of others even when it's against the rules. 

Lan Xuan didn't know why, but he felt very uneasy right now, like his gut was telling him something. 

The Lan Elder before him, who works in the kitchen, his eyes were watching him coldly, but when the man's eyes turned back to his mother, it was so brief he might have missed it but he caught the look. It was hatred. He'd only seen eyes like that from that teacher. 

He watched his mother take the tray with a smile and thank him before closing the door. When his mother sat back down at her table, he stared worriedly at the door, getting a bad vibe that something was very wrong. 

It was getting late as he had seen outside the door. Soon his uncle would come to take him back to his room. 

Lan Xuan sat back down with his mother who was setting down the dishes of food, preparing to eat it. He had eaten just before coming to see his mother so he wasn't hungry. 

 His mother was pregnant with his baby brother. Her belly was protruding quite a bit. He wanted to meet this baby brother of his and be the best big brother he could be. 

He had a feeling though as he watched his mother bring the food up to her mouth, recalling that fleeting expression of the Lan Elder… "Wait! Mother, can I have a bite of yours?" He asked, scooting closer to her, his stomach in knots. Something wasn't right! 

She blinked at him, before smiling at him. "Of course, sweet boy, come here." She brought the food toward his mouth, and his heart spiked in fear of something unknown. He opened his mouth to take the bite she offered and swallowed after chewing thoroughly. 

After a moment, he waited and nothing happened. However, just when he was about to relax, he started feeling terribly sick and a terrible agonizing pain started to eat through him.

Dread pooled in his small stomach, and quickly shouted at his mother before she went to take a bite of the food. "The food is poisoned, Mother! Don't eat it!" 

He whimpered. It hurt. It hurt. 

Blood was everywhere. 

He puked up blood, curling into a fetal position as his mother cried out for help and tried to soothe and comfort him. 

He coughed, covering his mouth with his hands as more blood spewed out from his lips. The coughs came again in quick succession and violently, shaking his body with such force he collapsed on his knees, back hunched as he continued to cough and more blood flowed out. His hair turned snow white from root to the ends, from overwhelming stress and pain tearing through his body and the poison spreading through him. 

His mother had frozen and stared at him with wide eyes, "Lan Xuan?" She shoved the food away from them and rushed to his side, wanting to hug him but afraid to cause him pain. 

He opened his mouth to call out to her, but he could not stop coughing and spitting up blood. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he wanted to scream from the agonizing pain ravaging through his body but his voice seemed to be trapped inside him and unable to vocalize his pain and he wanted to cry out for his mother. 

She slowly pulled him into her arms as gently as possible and ran her fingers through his hair softly. She kept speaking to him and humming a song to soothe him as best as she could. He could feel his mother's fear and see the blame already forming in her eyes. 

Lan Xuan wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault but only his ragged breathing, and coughs escaped his mouth, blood dripping down his chin.

"My sweet child, my son! I'm here, I'm here. Mother is here. Someone! Help! Help me! I need help! My Lan Xuan!" She screamed for help, not caring for the sect's rules of not shouting in Cloud Recesses when her son was dying in her arms. 

Lan Xuan distantly heard footsteps and his mother’s door burst open with a bang. 

"What is it? What's wrong?!" Lan Qiren spoke, sounding out of breath and he saw what was wrong, and tried to shield his brother from the sight,, his brother who had rushed out of his seclusion after hearing his wife's screams and followed behind him. 

They both stared in horror, fear in their eyes. There were distant voices coming closer. The healers. 

Lan Xuan tried to look at them but he kept coughing and spitting up blood and tears fell from his eyes from the pain he was unable to voice. He weakly clutched at his mother's robes, feeling guilty for tainting them with his blood but his limbs grew numb and unresponsive to him and falling down limply at his sides. 

" What happened ? " 

His mother stared up at them, crying and holding him close, her tears mixing with his own as they fell onto his face. "It was me. It was my fault. Someone… tried to poison me. Lan Xuan, the sweet and bright boy that he is, knew somehow that something was wrong and I did not suspect a thing! He asked to have a bite of my meal and I just wanted to indulge him… I… he did it to save me and Lan Huan, his little brother," She whispered, using one hand to hug her stomach and the other to embrace Lan Xuan tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. My child..." She weeped sorrowfully, kissing his forehead. 

Lan Qiren spun around and snapped at the healers as they arrived to hurry and help Lan Xuan. 

They didn't waste time. The poison was not common and very deadly. There was no true name for it yet and no cure. They at least tried to ease some of his pain but there was nothing else they could do. They quickly made their leave to give the family time for themselves. 

Lan Xuan saw his mother shake her head in denial. "No, no! There must be something! Qiren, please!" She looked at him desperately and then her husband. Neither spoke. Lan Qiren closed his eyes, sorrow etched into his expression. As much as Lan Qiren blamed her for what happened with his brother and disliked immensely for the crime she commited, she was still his brother's wife and mother of his nephew, and he cared for his nephew as much as she and his brother did but there was nothing any of them could do… 

Qingheng-Jun came closer and knelt by his son's side, immense grief in his eyes as he reached out to gently trace his child's face. Lan Xuan stared at his father, pain in his eyes at the agony he felt and the pain he was causing his family. 

He tried to speak past the whimpers and whines escaping his throat, past his labored breathing and coughing. His body felt paralyzed and numb to where he couldn't lift his limbs and try to reach out to his mother, father, and his uncle and tell them it was okay. 

But inside - he was also scared, so scared and in pain but he was making his family suffer enough. He couldn't let them know how scared he was as he tried to be brave as he did when he saved his mother from eating the poison and saving his unborn baby brother. 

He wanted to reassure them… he wanted… 

Another round of coughing escaped him, gradually getting worse and he felt numb and yet all nerves were in so much pain and he couldn't stop spitting and throwing up blood. His mother had to turn him so he didn't choke on his own blood and continuously cleaned his face. 

' I'm scared… I don't want to die yet. I wanted to be able to see mother and father for a long time and see Uncle Qiren. I wanted to meet my little brother. I don't want to die… but… I am glad I was able to save my mother and protect my baby brother. ' 

His mother and father were already inconsolable and trying to be close to him and comfort him and his Uncle stood alone in the back. He saw the shoulders that were normally straightened, slightly slumped and his Uncle's expression was… so sad. 

Lan Xuan has heard of his mothers crime in the sect and does not know why she did it but his mother was always gentle and kind in his eyes. He knew there was tension in his family because of what his mother had done...but for the first time… he got to see all three of his precious family members all together in the same room, even though his circumstances were not good at all. 

They were here for him, because they loved him. 

It was getting harder to breathe but he found that the pain was gone, that he could no longer feel pain ravaging his body, and he could taste the blood in his mouth. 

He tried to speak, knowing it wouldn't really work, but he really wanted to see the outside. It was winter and cold but it was still beautiful and he loved winter, not to mention he was born in winter. 

"What is it, my sweet boy?" His mother spoke gently and his father looked at him. He tried to show them, using his eyes. Outside. 

I want to see the outside. 

"He wishes to see the outside." His Uncle Qiren spoke again, finally, and had understood what he wanted. Lan Xuan wanted to smile and tried to, and his mother simply cried harder but held him close and she slowly stood up. 

"Let's go then." She looked at his father and held Lan Xuan out to him. He heard his fathers shuddering breath and was suddenly wrapped in his fathers big, warm, strong arms. They walked side by side and Lan Qiren followed them out to the sheltered porch. Lan Qiren stayed standing in the back and Lan Xuan wished he'd come closer but he didn't have the energy or breath to ask him since he struggled to breathe. His mother and father sat down on both sides of him and soothed and comforted him. 

Lan Xuan was tired and content to watch the snow fall from the sky and see the untouched snow that had already begun to blanket the ground in pure white. 

The snow flakes kissed his cheeks and he closed his eyes. He smiled a small smile, he no longer felt completely paralyzed but was still feeling kind of numb but without no the pain, which was nice. 

Lan Xuan reached out with a hand, opening his eyes to gaze up at his parents and gift them with his smile, and gently pat their cheeks with his hand.

It's alright. It's alright now. 

  He looked over at his Uncle Qiren, who noticed and let out a heavy sigh but he still came forward anyway. His Uncle bent down toward him, his usually stern expression soft and his eyes held a gentle light with a deep sadness. He reached out and also patted his cheek with a smile. 

His Uncle made a huff but allowed it. Lan Xuan put down his hand and laid in his parents arms, his uncle now standing closer to them and while his mother and father hummed and spoke to him in soft tones, they all watched the snow fall from a gray sky from their porch. 

Lan Xuan's eyes drooped, he struggled to keep them open and watched the snow fall for a bit longer but he was so tired. His breath was shallow and his eyes kept trying to close as his vision started to see black spots and gradually grow dark. He reached out a hand, wanting to feel the snowflakes more but he couldn't hold his hand up and it dropped limply in his lap. He felt his mother and father gently brush fingers through his hair and trace his cheeks.

Lan Xuan sighed, allowing his eyes to finally close and he stopped fighting as he felt death draw even nearer and let go. 

 The darkness slowly pulled him further away until he knew nothing and felt nothing at all. 

☆

☆

☆

Madam Lan froze when Lan Xuan's chest stopped rising and he became too still and limp in her and Qingheng-Jun's arms. Lan Xuan's eyes were closed. She trembled, tears falling faster as Qingheng-Jun wrapped fingers around his son's wrist and felt for his pulse.

There wasn't one. Lan Xuan's heart had stopped. 

Qingheng-Jun choked out a silent mournful cry. And Madam Lan wailed brokenly into Lan Xuan's unmoving chest. 

Lan Xuan was gone.

He was gone. 

Lan Qiren closed his eyes, bowing his head. A tear fell from his eyes and he said nothing as his brother and his wife continued to cry. 

The snow continued to fall. 

☆

☆

☆

Lan Xuan watched over his family, sometimes up close and sometimes from afar. 

He was thrilled he got to see his baby brother! Lan Huan! 

He spent time going back and forth between his mother and father, spending time with them and watching over them. He sometimes even followed his Uncle Qiren around. 

He would watch Lan Huan play and wished he could play with him too. He later got to meet his new baby brother Lan Wangji and he was even more happy. 

Lan Xuan was also sad and angry because his mother and father didn't speak to Lan Huan about him or mention him, because they had forgotten. They all had forgotten about him, thanks to his teacher and the other man that wasn't so nice that tried to murder his mother. 

They used forbidden Lan songs and made them all forget he ever existed so they could get away with their crime and not be punished. Lan Qiren and other members had tried to find the culprits before then, but were unable to and stopped looking when they were forced to forget. 

Lan Xuan was all alone now and no one even remembered his existence. The ones that caused his death, even had his name erased. 

Lan Xuan could do nothing about it. Many times he tried to get someone's attention, his mother or brothers and let them know he was still here, that he had existed and still did. He tried to find ways to interact with his family but it took a lot out of him and was never truly successful. 

And then mother died. Lan Xuan cried, but had no real tears. He met his mother's spirit but she still didn't remember him. She passed on and he chose to stay behind.

He watched A-Zhan struggle to understand and cope with their mother’s death. A-Zhan would kneel for hours throughout the season, waiting for mother to return and open the door for him. But she was truly gone. Lan Xuan struggled too and he tried to be there for both of them and Lan Xuan tried to be there for A-Zhan but it was hard on both of them. 

 Lan Xuan watched his little A-Zhan, Lan Wangji, from a distance, as he knelt once more, waiting for their mother who wasn't coming back. 

 He watched a stray tear fall from his baby brother's eyes and sighed, noticing the small hand, twisted and trembling as Lan Wangji gripped his robes. Lan Xuan strode forward till he was behind Lan Wangji and he spun around abruptly, now back to back and Lan Xuan sat down, though they could not touch, just as he had done many times before. "You may not see me, nor hear me, you are not aware of my existence at this time, but I am here. I am here, and I will never leave you, baby brother. Never." 

He wanted to stay by A-Zhan’s side and watch over him. When it came time for A-Zhan’s Zither to be made, he made a decision. And what made it even more special was that, the Zither being created for Lan Wangji had once belonged to their mother, who had a Zither, one of the few possessions she was allowed to keep. Her Zither also had a spirit and when she died, the spirit of the Zither died and the Zither cracked, breaking into pieces. 

Those same pieces that once made up their mothers Zither, with the same materials-were now being used to create Lan Wangji's Zither and Lan Xuan would bind his soul to it. 

Lan Xuan smiled, at least like this, he can be with them and help them. 

That was all he had ever wanted and now, he finally could.

"Oh my! Such a terrible thing happened at Cloud Recesses! The poor boy! And they didn't even remember him!" Someone exclaimed. 

Many voices spoke out at once, the room became full of disbelief and noise. Lan Xuan smiled patiently but didn't speak at this time. 

He looked at Yanling Daoren and Suibian, who nodded to him and Suibian had a welcoming smile. 

"That… it can't be!" Lan Qiren's voice shook, but something in his heart was telling him it was the truth. How could he have allowed that to even happen?! How could they not find the ones responsible? They got away with a serious crime in their sect and went even further, to erase all their memories! How..how!

Lan Qiren felt to have aged even more in just this moment. He truly had made quite a few mistakes. 

Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji just gazed up at Lan Xuan with wide, shocked eyes that were full of complex emotions. 

"We… have an elder brother?" Lan Xichen murmured, eyes wide with shock and hope and fear, many emotions swirling in his chest. 

Lan Wangji worriedly looked at Lan Xichen.

Lan Qiren was muttering, "No, no, that can't be! I would have-"

Lan Qiren gasped as some old memories resurfaced, finally connecting the dots. 

….. 

Lan Qiren stood in the dim light of his room, staring at a small painting that he seemed to have held onto for quite some time but couldn't remember why or who was in the painting. The face of the figure was blotted out. He felt this painting was important to him, but why? Who was this small nameless figure whose face could not be seen? 

He carefully placed it inside his robes, tucking it close. He would try and figure out the mystery of this figure and find out who he was to him. 

(He tried countless times with no real success)

Lan Qiren had been walking through Caiyi town and his eyes caught something. An Origami. A thought passed through his mind. 

'He loved Origami. And he loved to draw and paint. I will buy these for him. And a flute until we craft one for him, he loves the flute.' Lan Qiren put away the things he bought in the moment and paused. 'He? Who was I just thinking about? I could not make out the figure's face. It was not Lan Xichen. Who could it be? Why could I not see the figure's face?'

Lan Qiren felt something was off, there was something important he had forgotten and it disturbed him. Something wasn't right!

What was it?! And the more Lan Qiren tried to remember, his head started to hurt.

Sometimes, Lan Qiren would set two places at his table, one for himself and one for someone else. He did it subconsciously, without thinking, expecting to see a small figure waiting for him with a smile, and he could even hear the fading memory of a child's bright voice speaking to him, telling Lan Qiren that he shouldn't have to eat his meal alone all the time. 

And then there were other moments, where in his peripheral vision, he sees a small figure playing while in the room with him and Lan Qiren sighed, turning to gently but firmly scold them for making a mess but stops because he realizes there is no one there. 

…. 

Lan Qiren blinks, a shiny film covering his eyes but he refuses to acknowledge it. And then,, as if a dam has broken inside him, more memories suddenly flowed free after he recalled all those times when he seemed to make room for someone who was there and bought things and couldn't understand why he kept setting a place at his table when there was no one there and Lan Xichen has been too small and Lan Wangji had not yet been born, but it continued even after, when he was alone that he...always seems to be looking for someone or expecting to see a small figure near him. 

Lan Xuan… it was Lan Xuan. 

Lan Qiren paled. He remembered. 

He remembered!

Lan Qiren slowly stood up and faced Lan Xuan, whose gaze was calm and gentle, understanding. Lan Qiren's hands trembled slightly. 

"You remembered," Lan Xuan's melodic, smooth voice spoke softly. "It's good to meet you again, Uncle."

Lan Qiren walked toward him slowly and Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji watched with wide shining eyes, because they had never seen their Uncle like this. 

Lan Xuan stood where he was, patient and waiting with a gentle smile. His Uncle came to a stop a foot away from him and he could see the trembling of his shoulders. His Uncle was never big on physical affection and never took initiative to initiate it. Lan Xuan stepped a few more inches forward and reached out an open palm - waiting for his uncle to take that step. 

He'd been watching them all the whole time and knew how his Uncle was and he had been angry when Yanling Daoren and Suibian had the nerve to scold his Uncle, but they were not entirely wrong - his uncle was not infallible. But he knew under that severe strict manner, the man still had a heart, a heart that was old, worn, and bruised and yet still so strong. 

   Lan Xuan's Uncle has always clung tightly to rules of Gusu Lan because he knew them best and they were easier to understand. Though even so, even though in a way, he understood his Uncle's position - he could not forgive his Uncle for such a severe punishment he inflicted on Lan Wangji because he defended Wei Wuxian, who as they all have learned is not the heinous villain they keep trying to make him out to be. There is generally always more to things than what meets the eyes on the surface. Things are not always clean cut to be white and black. Lan Xuan even agreed with his baby brother, that there was something more going on with Young Master Wei, he had seen how kind the other was and how he was brave and courageous and a bit arrogant and young hehe was. 

 Wei Wuxian had always been free spirited and playful and had a big heart. Wei Wuxian had been like a free bird soaring the skies, before the burning of Lotus Pier and tragedies that followed. And Lan Xuan had been watching Wei Wuxian's memories beside them silently and he now understood even more than he did back then. Lan Xuan, like Lan Xichen had in the beginning, still supported Lan Wangji with Wei Wuxian, he only wished his brother didn't have to have his heart broken by the loss of Wei Wuxian. 

However, Lan Xuan quickly glanced at Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin before looking away. He knew the secret he hid in Lotus Pier. Just maybe...somehow he could help his brother get a happy ending after all...but first there would most likely be more pain to come before then. Wei Wuxian had suffered a great deal on his end, from the fall of Lotus Pier and up to his death, which Lan Xuan suspected was a suicide. Wei Wuxian always seemed to brush his own pain off when it was serious and liked to always smile, being cheerful and teasing. If there was a possibility he could help bring him back..  Wei Wuxian would go back to resuming to refusing to dwell on the past and bury it and smile, laughing it off. 

Lan Xuan sighed at the thought. 

   When Lan Wangji had been suffering through healing from the whip lashes, he would sing and hum lullabies that their mother would sing to him while he slept fitfully. He had been torn upon staying with Lan Wangji and checking on Lan Xichen and his Uncle and would go to check on them briefly and stay for a few moments before rushing back to Lan Wangji's side. 

Lan Xuan remembered before his death, his uncle had always been strict and there had been tension in their family, and it got much worse after he died and they forgot about him, and his uncle became more closed off and more strict and not as tolerant and understanding as he used to be. 

He knew in his own way, Uncle suffered a lot. It doesn't excuse his own attitude at times and his words or his judgements that were merely from rumors and things only on the surface. His Uncle was definitely not infallible, it didn't matter that he was a cultivator, he was still inherently human, and humans make mistakes. 

Lan Xuan still held out his hand, kept his smile as his Uncle tried to pull himself together. His Uncle lifted a hand and finally reached out and gripped Lan Xuan's hand tightly. He could see the wet sheen of his Uncle's eyes and didn't comment on it. 

Lan Qiren gripped his eldest nephew's hand, hoping to convey what he was feeling.

Lan Xuan dipped his head in a slight nod and that small smile. 

He understood. Lan Qiren exhaled with a shaky breath and closed his eyes. 

The cultivators in the room had gone silent and stared at them.

Lan Xichen got to his feet without thinking and slowly came closer to them, and Lan Wangji followed his cue. 

Lan Qiren turned to Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, "WangJi, XiChen, this is Lan Xuan, your elder brother. He is who he says he is...I have finally remembered. And I know the people responsible for Lan Xuan's death." Lan Qiren's expression became hard and cold. 

"It's alright, Uncle, that can wait." Lan Xuan spoke reassuringly. The culprits responsible were still at Cloud Recesses. They had not come with those from their sect that had decided to come and witness the memory viewing. Perhaps it was better this way.

They were not aware that the truth - was finally out. 

Lan Xuan wanted to repay them in kind and and use certain methods, even death is far too kind and merciful for the likes of people such as those two, who allowed their hatred to rule over them. 

Lan Xuan had watched them over the years as well. He saw how they truly were. They didn't even feel remorse over the fact that they killed a child, because he was not their intended target and so they used his death to blame his mother some more but never attempted to kill her again because they didn't want to get caught and be punished like cowards. 

No, his mother had died from some untold illness, or that's what everyone else was told. No one truly knew the truth. 

No one but Lan Xuan. Not even his Uncle knew or younger brothers. 

She died from the illness she contracted from grief that never went away, even if she didn't remember who she was grieving for, she knew something was wrong and her health dwindled and before never really minded not being able to step a foot outside.

Her health took a turn for the worst, and she died of a broken heart. 

Lan Xuan had been with her the day she died, watching over her and had watched her health get worse and there was nothing he could do but watch her die. 

All he could do, all he wanted more than anything then, was to be with his family, be with his brothers and look out for them as best as he could. 

And now… they could finally see him. 

He took a moment to study both of his brother's, who kept staring at him, their emotions were no doubt all over the place.  He itched to hug them. But...considering how they ended up being raised, they didn't get much physical affection, except when mother had been alive and they only got to see her once a month. Lan Xuan had gotten to see her twice a month, a third time in secret, for sometimes his uncle had actually allowed it back then. 

Uncle Qiren wasn't huge on physical affection...and their neither had their father when he had been alive hadn't been either, all the way up until his death due to the Wens attacking Cloud Recesses. 

Lan Xuan loved physical affection, and he wasn't overboard about it,  well so he thought. It was part of his love language to those he loved, that were a part of his family, his 'life'. But most of his 'life', after he died, he was unseen and no one ever heard his voice. It made him want to hug them even more but he had to show distance and patience, because they were not ready for that and this was all sudden and overwhelming. They needed time to get to know him and let the knowledge sink in. 

It felt good to finally show himself and be seen. 

Lan Xuan also took in all the eyes currently staring at him, and he took no notice of the lecherous, depraved and shamed Jin Sect Leader on the ground who was also looking at him with lustful eyes, and who looked terrible from Yanling Daoren and Suibian’s anger from before. 

Lan Xuan also wanted to teach him a valuable lesson, but it would have to wait. 

(End of this chapter)

Extra Content/Spoilers (DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT this entire spoiler lol )

*(I'm not sure if I will use all of this or any of it. For those that end up reading what's below, if you think I should keep it as part of this chapter or another or cut it put completely let me know) 

*These are basically **(possible)** future scenes:*

.  . . .

Lan Xuan focused on Jin Guangyao. "Do you still intend to scheme for the sake of your fathers attention? You know it will get you nowhere, and he won't be alive much longer. And you dare use my brother and manipulate him into helping your schemes unknowingly at that, because you were already planning ahead - isn't that right?"

Lan Xuan walked toward Jin Guangyao, robes fluttering with movement. "Allow me to make myself very, very clear. If you ever, and I mean ever pull any conniving stunts, I will be the one to personally dispose of your existence. And it will be in the slowest and inconceivably excruciating thing you could never even possibly imagine. Do you understand me?"

Everyone in the room went very still. Chenqing and Suibian didn't feel any less terrifying, though, with Lan Xuan, he was like the embodiment of winter, made of ice. The air in the room truly did turn much, much colder to the point where they could see their breaths and even with their golden cores, it was hard for them to feel warmth as the temperature seemed to have dropped so low. There was thin ice spread like spider webs from beneath Lan Xuan feet as he stared at Jin Guangyao.

Lan Xuan lifted one hand and ice droplets formed in the air, shaping like flower petals and circled around it as he twirled his fingers. 

"Lingchi is a thousand cuts by a sword. Imagine what a thousand petals and more could do. And not only that, but to also melt and seep into the open wounds and slowly force you to freeze to death from the inside out. And I have excellent control over my abilities and I can drag it on for however long I wish. However, that is only one method of many I'm sure I can think of and put to good use." Lan Xuan spoke softly and gently patted the other's shoulders, with a gentle smile on his face, though you could feel the frost emanating from him. 

"Cross me, and I will show you the true meaning of fear." Lan Xuan spoke in a matter-of-fact like tone, though his voice was still gentle and soft and he never raised his voice. Not even once and even when he promised violence, if anyone should dare go against him to hurt those he cares for, it was all with that smile on his face. 

A few cultivators shuddered as chills erupted along their body, and they warily retreated as far away from him as possible, watching with wide eyes. They did not want to cross him. 

Lan Xuan casually turned from Jin Guangyao and walked away, flicking away the twirling ice petals with his fingers and letting them evaporate and the ice beneath his feet slowly receded along with his footsteps as he rejoined his brother's. 

....

Lan Xichen was shocked and surprised, and warmth filled his chest. He trusted A-Yao, and yet as everything kept slowly being revealed, he started to feel sad and disappointed. Lan Xichen had also never seen anyone defend him so vehemently, for the sake of protecting him.

(Lan Xichen felt heartbroken and betrayed after learning that A-Yao had been trying to use him...someone he believed in and trusted… used him.)

Nie Mingjue felt rage rise within him and wanted to charge forwards and wrap his hands around Jin Guangyao's throat but Nie Huaisang clutched at his arm and held him back. 

Lan Xichen… knew Lan Xuan was angry on his behalf, wanting to protect him. Just like Elder brothers do for their younger siblings. And Lan Xuan didn't hesitate. Lan Xichen felt a bit awed. He looked at Wangji beside him and chuckled. He seemed to be feeling somewhat the same thing. It would not be instant or simple...but they had a family member they never knew about and he had been by their side the whole time. Slowly, Lan Xichen felt hope that could bridge the gap between them.

Lan Xichen also had more...negative feelings, and being reminded of them as well... he... Well, he just had to push them down for now and later...he would... he would talk with Lan Xuan and see where it would take them (and maybe he could finally unload all his pent up feelings and the thought he may have failed Lan Wangji and not have been a good older brother). Lan Xichen didn't know what was on Wangji’s mind either but when they had time and were alone, would they talk. 

That talk would have to wait.

"Chenqing and Suibian have also made it clear so far and even the memory viewing itself has done so, so far, to show the truth of Wei Wuxian's feelings and memories of his life. A life you helped ruin. I stand by Lan Wangji’s belief in Wei Wuxian, as well as my own. I saw from Lan Wangji's side as well as my own perspective, that Wei Wuxian was not some evil villain constantly up to no good. You all were fooled and led by the nose from two men, one who wanted to be Chief Cultivator from the start as soon as the Wens were out if the way wanted more power himself, and one of his children who was sickeningly desperate for his fathers acknowledgement of his existence."

"I was born into the Lan Sect, and after my death, I've stayed and watched from my brother's side and I can see things more objectively than others and I am not so quick to believe in made up rumors about someone, without getting to know them and their side of the story. I do not care about someone's background. I care for their actions, and their choices, their character and how they treat others," Lan Xuan paused before continuing, " I will attest to the fact that I am not okay with the Lan's Sects punishment of my baby brother and I am well aware of all our sect's rules [may change/rewrite]. Nevertheless, it was punishment for a man who defended someone he held dear in his heart."

Lan Xuan looked at his Uncle. "Even one that has a powerful core can still die under many whip lashes, from lashes and blood loss, or infection and fever or someone so full of heartache and grief that it makes them want to die… I was there when Lan Wangji was punished. I have been by all of your sides the whole time! Watching and trying to be there for you in the only way I could! None of you could see nor hear me. I have been there, especially for you Uncle, I know how you are. I know the rules of our sect and our traditions are important, but are they truly more important than family? 

    "You saw Wei Wuxian as a vile, supposed evil man because he no longer cultivated the righteous path and because of the rumors and how his actions seemed in your eyes, but your view had been obscured and tainted by others and prejudice. Wei Wuxian, powerful in his use of demonic cultivation, was at heart, a man that was only trying to survive and help others, and not let innocents be blamed for crimes they never committed. Whenever Wei Wuxian attacked, he was always cornered and provoked or merely trying to defend himself or others. And he had no golden core. And he survived Burial Mounds with help of Yanling Daoren, and relying on resentful energy. Without it, he would have died. And Lan Wangji, all he has ever done is follow the rules and he was also trying to follow his heart and he wanted to help someone he loved. Because of how things unfolded at Nightless City, Jin Guangshan was whispering in your ears, and a foolish young man shot an arrow at Wei Wuxian with clear intent to kill when Wei Wuxian had not even attacked. And you all have now seen his memories of Qiongqi Path, they attempted to assassinate him on the spit, for a curse he didn't even place, because it was all orchestrated so carefully. Once again… who was truly wronged? Who was the instigator? And Lan Wangji, punished for simply defending someone he loved, because he was the only one who believed in Wei Wuxian and trusted the Wei Wuxian he knew was good. 

   "Lan Wangji should have never been forced into that kind of situation, to choose to let his family kill the man he loved in front of him or defy them, and should they attack, have to fight back. Which he did. You chased after him, and sought to kill Wei Wuxian and when Lan Wangji refused to stand aside and allow it, you expected him to stand there and let you attack Wei Wuxian? The man he loves or his family? And while you chose to side with Jin Guangshan and the majority, believing the rumors and their lies without knowing the whole story or Wei Wuxian's reasons… well by that point it was already too late. The damage was done. I was by Lan Wangji’s side as he took the punishment. I knelt by his side, trying to alleviate his pain and watched his blood flow down his back in rivulets as his back was nearly flayed to ribbons! I was by his side when he heard of Wei Wuxian's death, my spirit was with him when he fled to fed any last Remnants of Wei Wuxian at Burial Mounds, but everything that was left, the other sects sought fit to take that which never belonged to them, from a man they drove to his death. And even begin to use the inventions he had created. Including our sect," Lan Xuan continued, his voice carrying heavily throughout the room. "I sat by Lan Wangji’s side as he lay, trying to heal from his wounds and grieving terribly. He never heard or saw me of course, as I sang to him and stayed with him and tried to help him heal and lend him my strength. There was a single night he was alone where he had a fever so high, I didn't know if my help would be enough to save him from clutches of death, and from his grief that only made it worse. I kept him alive, after Lan Xichen had come to check on him and his wounds and Lan Wangji asked him to leave, for Lan Wangji’s situation became grave after that Lan Xichen left that night. So I lent him my strength and kept him alive as someone came to check on him again and realized Lan Wangji's condition and finally healers had to come again to keep him stable and Lan Xichen lent his strength. I watched you from his doorway, Uncle, I saw your regret...but do you see now, Uncle? Of course you do, what a ridiculous question." Lan Xuan sighed before turning to Lan Wangji, his youngest brother. Lan Wangji was staring at him with wide eyes again, mouth slightly agape as though he wished to say something. 

Lan Xuan bowed to him, realizing it might not have been best to speak all of that allowed before all these cultivators. It seemed, he caught swept up in the moment, riding in the wave of his tumultuous emotions and he couldn't stop. There was plenty he still wanted to say, but he never planned to say those thing he spoke of in such a way, though his tone had no inflections of his emotions, he was excellent at hiding them, but some of his words might have obviously given him away. 

Or could be taken the wrong way. He did not hold a grudge against his uncle or anyone of his sect really. But his youngest brother, Lan Wangji, never aired his feelings and Lan Xuan, with their connection, knew Lan Wangji's emotions and heart more than many, except maybe his brother Lan Xichen. Lan Wangji never spoke of his pain he buried so deeply, or his anger that he tries to deny. It was all amplified through Lan Xuan.

Lan Wangji didn't blame his uncle or his sect, he had accepted his punishment and let it be. His anger is toward those who hurt Wei Wuxian and drove him to his death and his anger at himself for not being strong enough or not realizing sooner just how much Wei Wuxian needed help. All of this filtered through Lan Xuan and combined with some of his own feelings of anger and sadness and at how unjust it all was. He didn't even want to discuss the Wen Remnants deaths and how horribly disrespectful everyone had treated their bodies, carelessly tossed into the blood pool at Burial Mounds. 

Lan Xuan, for a short time he had left Lan Wangji side and followed and went to Burial Mounds- and saw for himself (though he couldn't be separated for very long). He had also witnessed them all get cut down mercilessly before leaving.

What about their justice? They never got theirs. And these people had been claiming righteousness until now. How pathetic. 

They had no right to talk about justice.

. . . .

Part I'm currently working on]

《☆》《☆》《☆》

 "WangJi." 

At the name his brother gave the Zither/him, Lan Xuan, the spirit - and only known as Wangji to youngest brother,  the same who didnt even know he existed - opened his eyes. 

… 

He watched over his brother. He learned as his brother learned, grew as he grew, and became stronger with each passing day as his brother’s golden core grew bigger and stronger. 

《☆》《☆》《☆》

Lan Xuan met his brother’s 'friend' - the focus point of his affections-, named Wei Wuxian, and Suibian, his sword spirit. 

Suibian was super friendly and outgoing, very social, just like his master. 

Lan Xuan, however, as he grew alongside his brother, while he also had some quiet aloofness and a seemingly cold outer shell, found it much more fun to be mischievous and a bit devious. When A-Zhan wasn’t using him, the Zither stored away, Lan Xuan would walk around Cloud Recesses and tease some of the Lans though it was one sided since they could not see or hear him. 

A gust of wind that swept papers away, and a few other...harmless pranks, sometimes scaring a few adolescent Lans and enjoying their reactions and mystified looks of confusion. 

Other times, Lan Xuan let himself rest in the green meadows, or where the gentian flowers bloomed, and gazed at the expansive sky, reveling in the peaceful, serene feeling of nature and the quiet. 

He was still always sure to keep his guard up and appear the moment his brother called out to him, the moment the strings were pulled taut or simply touching the Zither, it only took mere seconds to reappear by his brother's side whenever he needed him. 

Lan Xuan did not know the storm that would soon find them in the very near future. 

It's always calmest before the storm. 

Chapter Text

The cultivators in room were all still a bit shocked and couldn't believe that there was another Lan, that the Twin Jades had had an older brother they never knew, until now. 

Someone spoke up hesitantly, "You... you are really a Lan? And their older brother?"

Lan Xuan turned his gaze to the one who spoke and nodded. "Yes. I have no reason to lie and I have shown you my own memories and yet you would still doubt my word?"

"And dare to doubt mine?" Lan Qiren spoke with anger, glaring at the one who said such a thing. 

"No - I.. I didn't.. mean-" They stammered before falling silent and backing away. 

Lan Xuan smiled at his Uncle, gently grazing his Uncle's arm with the tips of his fingers in and spoke in a soothing, warm tone. "It's alright, Uncle."

Lan Qiren seemed to deflate and turn his head away with a huff. 

Lan Xuan hid his mouth behind his hand and he chuckled softly. He hasn't changed a bit. Such a grumpy old uncle of mine, who has made mistakes but I love him, and all my family the same. 

Lan Qiren cleared his throat and spoke to him after taking a deep breath and closing his eyes before opening them. "It's good to see you, Lan Xuan. I... I...," He tried to gather his words but they seemed to fail him, as he had long ago failed his eldest nephew. 

Lan Xuan shook his head and held up a hand to stop his words. "No. Stop. I understand. And I do not believe you ever failed me uncle. So please, stop thinking that way. Do not apologize to me. I am not the one you should, or need to apologize to."

Lan Qiren sighed, but nodded and let the matter drop. 

Lan Xuan turned his eyes onto Jin Guangshan again, who was still blatantly staring at him, even after he made himself very clear earlier. This man, even after he, Yanling Daoren, and Suibian made them clear, the other man seemed to forget all about it. He wasn't fearless, he was clearly afraid of them. Lan Xuan could feel it, but at the same time...there was something not right with the man in his mind. Had probably never been. 

Even when they used him as an example to others. Since Lan Xuan had finally shown himself, the man's eyes hadn't left him and they were full lust still. 

Lan Xuan felt repulsed and disgusted. He strode toward him again and roughly grabbed the man's face, holding it harshly between his hands, squeezing with a bruising grip, making Jin Guangshan cry out in pain. 

"You never learn, do you? You worthless sack of bones. You dare to keep looking at me with such filthy, deplorable lustful eyes. You will look elsewhere and at no one in this room or I will blind you, permanently." Lan Xuan spoke matter-of-factly, his warm tone warring with the violence of his words and the actions of his hands, as he reached up prove his point - pressing his thumbs into the corner of Jin Guangshan's eyes with force. As though he was about to gauge them out with his bare hands. 

Jin Guangshan shrieked at the pain and tried to pull away. "Alright - okay!" 

Lan Xuan was a reasonable person, very. gentle and kind with a mild temper most of the time and usual always calm but even he had limits and a man like Jin Guangshan, especially after the role he played in making his brother's suffer...

Lan Xuan would be merciful enough to make his end too painful. And death was really far to kind for a man like him. 

The worst punishment would be him losing his wealth and status, his power and ability to cultivate and forced to live in terrible conditions he left others to suffer in until he died of natural causes, weak and alone. 

Lan Xuan liked that idea very much indeed. He knew Yanling Daoren and Suibian planned to kill him later after Wei Wuxian memories were revealed and the rest of the truth brought forth. 

He felt they would his alternative. He was certain. The bastard should also be castrated to never have any more children,  so there were no other unfortunate souls he ended up hurting. 

Lan Xuan released Jin Guangshan and the man scrambled away as much as he could in the condition he was already in and backed away, going back to sit with his family.

Lan Xuan's emotions settled, his calm returning but then he worried.

What would his family think of him because of the scenes he had made? Lan Xuan already showed his uncle his thoughts and feelings and where he stood with some of his Uncle's own actions and with what happened with Wei Wuxian. 

But would they still judge him? They hadn't gotten to know him yet. What if... doubt sprouted in his mind and sudden panic filled Lan Xuan.

His heart raced anxiously. He just got them back. He didn't want them to withdraw and pull away. He was finally able to speak and be with them. 

He couldn't lose them. Any of them. Lan Xuan appeared calm on the outside and was smiling but internally he was starting to fret over the possibility of his family turning away from him without ever getting to know him. 

A hand reached out slowly, and carefully curling their fingers around his wrist. Lan Xuan's eyes widened imperceptively and caught Lan Xichen's whose eyes seemed to hold understanding. He had moved closer to Lan Xuan. And he was smiling gently at him. 

Lan Xuan felt his heart calm, he felt moved; unable to stop his eyes tearing up noticeably at the sweet gesture, and feeling  like he wanted to cry.

This younger brother of his who he had wanted to see him for so long, who he had wanted to know was there for him. This brother who he had cradled in his hands when he had hugged his mother's womb and adored him already and would sing to him and whisper and talk and laugh and feel Lan Xichen move in their mothers womb, so excited to meet him and be the best big brother he could be. He had sworn so to himself and his mother. He had intended to keep it until... until he died. But he did so saving both Lan Xichen's and his mother and they were able to have another brother, who he loved and adored just as much.

But neither had known about his existence and had not been able to see him or hear him. 

Until now. 

"It's nice to meet you, big brother." Lan Xichen spoke softly. 

Lan Xuan's lips trembled slightly and a single traitorous tear escaped from his eye he held Lan Xichen's gaze. And he also caught Lan Wangji had moved slightly closer, watching them attentively.

He was seen. He was heard. 

Finally. 

It was what he had longed for. To be with his family like this. 

He accepted Lan Xichen's olive branch, and gently pulled his hand to where it was almost free of the others grasp and wrapped his fingers around the others hand and smiled.

He was here for them and he had finally shown himself. 

Hope was a beautiful thing. Lan Xuan swore that he would help his brothers and let nothing separate them and find a way to bring Wei Wuxian back for Lan Wangji. 

Nothing and no one, would stand in his way. And he had a feeling it would start with Sect Leader Jiang. He already knew his secret. Now, they only needed to see the rest of the memories so everyone knew the truth and then take care of Jin Guangshan and figure out what to do with Jin Guangyao.

After that, they could focus on bringing Wei Wuxian back. 

But for now, he would simply be by his family's side and support them and comfort them when they needed and fight for them, always. 

They were finally all together. 

Lan Xuan's heart filled with what felt like happiness he hadn't felt in a really long time.

They still had ways to go and get to know each other and become closer but they had all taken the first time.

And to Lan Xuan, it was everything. 

My dear brothers...

I'm here.

Lan Xuan knew his smile grew and he didn't care. 

He was here, with them, finally.

And in that moment, that was all that mattered to him.

However, there was one other besides his family he had cared for. A close childhood friend that he had some time visited before his death. 

He had been swept away by his excitement and being with family, he had forgotten. 

Not until that person spoke his name after coming forward. 

"I remember too. It really is you, isn't it, A-Xuan?" 

The warm timber of Nie Mingjue's voice and slight rasp shook Lan Xuan as the man stood behind him. He turned to face him.

"It's good to see you again, A-Jue." He smiled softly at Nie Mingjue, who was staring at him fiercely, eyes full of feeling. 

. . . . 

Lan Xuan placed a quilt under the shaded tree at the meadow in the back of Cloud Recesses. The sunlight seeped through the leaves dancing softly from the fresh gentle breeze. 

He had a scroll out before him and was painting the scenery around him, enjoying the beauty of it and making some origami to give to his mother later. 

He paused when he felt eyes watching him and turned to see his new audience. 

A young boy in green and gold was staring at him curiously. He was young but he seemed a little fierce. Lan Xuan smiled and invited him closer. 

He had heard that the Qinghe Sect Leader had come to speak to his Uncle and his son had come with him.

"I'm Nie Mingjue," the boy came closer and declared boldly. Lan Xuan nodded and greeted him in return, introducing himself. "I'm Lan Xuan. Nice to meet you."

Despite the differences in their personalities, Lan Xuan felt they would become great friends. He could feel it. 

Lan Xuan smiled and beckoned the boy over and offered to show him how to make an Origami. 

The two boys would indeed become very close friends and one had developed a deep crush, but unfortunately one dies far too young, too soon and ends up forgotten by all that knew him.

. . . . 

And here they were, reunited. 

A fond smile formed on Nie Mingjue's lips, his eyes held a soft light and another emotion in eyes that held warmth.

"It's good to see you again, truly, and to remember everything."

Lan Xuan smiled. Yes it was.

He turned his gaze to Yanling Daoren and nodded to resume where they had left off with Wei Wuxian's memories now that everyone had settled for the most part. 

…. 

Wei Wuxian was in a confused and chaotic state, and yet hyper-aware of everything even though he wasn't completely conscious. A state of purgatory. 

He felt cold, so cold and he was all alone. There was nothing but an abyss of darkness that spread endless around him and cruel chilling taunts and laughter and images of his life that looped over and over in mockery, tormenting him.

 Sometimes that darkness lit up with terrible burning flames or he was forced to stick in scenes of his life, forced to relieve the darkest moments of his life in a loop and sometimes he wasn't alone either.

 Other souls found him ( souls of people who hated and blamed him, who only knew pain and resentment and wanted him to suffer even if he hadnt been the direct cause of their death and- they needed a single outlet - something or someone to focus their hate and rage on, souls like Wen Chao  when their hells converged and overlapped) and he was bound and tortured repeatedly until his own soul was in ruin before he healed and the process was repeated and unable to scream. 

Even when his soul was skinned, and peeled to nothing and in tatters and broken jagged edges - he could not scream. Or sometimes, the same as how he died, other terrible souls would swarm him and devour him piece by piece, chewing up his soul slowly before spitting it back out.

It was a never-ending nightmare .