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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

He disliked the feeling of this bone-deep tired. As though he didn't sleep a good portion of his life away. The kind of tiredness that slipped past his flesh and went into the very veins of his body so he swam in it. He hoped he would see the surface soon.

Naruto gazed into the eyes of his Baa-chan as a whole other lifetime flashed before his eyes. He saw a battlefield, a marriage, and his own body growing into something different, sprouting like a tree. The brief image of his face from the not-world flashed by, and he felt as if he could dry heave. The knowledge that he basically aged and then de-aged hit him like a brick to the face. He felt a prick of anger as he blinked away the shadow face in his vision. Honestly, why would he cut his hair that short anyway? Both his parents had long hair, and he would be lying if he said he hadn't thought to grow his out like his mother. But she had such beautiful red hair. He didn't think his hair would look even a fraction as beautiful as hers.

(He knew he was thinking these small things in order not to think of the big things right now.)

But Tsunade was waiting for an answer. So, he wrote down the most obvious thing and tapped the paper with his pen when he was done.

Tsunade looked at the quick written word.

War

“Yes, the war. It truly was terrible, wasn't it? But then again what war isn't?” Tsunade leaned back and crossed her arms as memories of her own flooded her mind. “Who knew I would have to fight Uchiha Madara in my lifetime? Certainly not me!” She and Naruto both chuckled at that. Tsunade had a lot of time to come to terms with the war and what it had taken, and her feeling had settled to the point where talking about it wasn't like trying to swallow a rock dry. She eyed Naruto up though, as he was still tense, and felt good that she could properly console her newly awakened coma patient without her own feelings getting in the way. She put a comforting hand on Naruto's shoulder as he wrote down a 'we lost a lot of good Shinobi, good people.' and rubbed his back in a soothing manner as they both thought of all the lives taken. But, as stated before, she came to terms with the losses so instead, she focused on rubbing Naruto's back. He was like a cat really, she thought to herself. Such a simple touch, and it was as if it was the best thing he felt in his life, having his back rubbed. She knew what it was, she has been a Medical-Shinobi for a long time now and has seen many things in her life. She knew how a touch starved person behaved and Naruto fit the bill. It pains her though. She remembered the first time she comforted him in such a manner and how shocked and weirded out he was. How he refuses to be touched when going through emotional turmoil. His need to be alone in traumatic events is all because that's what he was used to. Suffering alone. Gently ringing bells for different forms of abuse. Tsunade paused her rubbing for a moment as to not overstimulate Naruto and smiled a little as she thought of the times that Shikamaru, of all people, came to her wanting to talk about Naruto's past back when she first became Hokage. Back then Shikamaru was still a child and it showed. How he tried to play it cool while feeling her out and how wide-eyed he got when she started to seriously engage him.

'That Nara...he really is a good friend.'

Shikamaru would invite her over to his home, psychology and behavioral books strewn about, and they would sit, and drink and she would listen to his concerns and thoughts and watch his face, held in that strong determination he only gets when he gives his 100% and the underlying pure sadness that he tries to cover up.

'Yeah, he is just what someone like Naruto needs.'

She ran her hand down Naruto's spine and then back up to rest at his shoulder as she knows he likes and continued the act as she read the next oncoming writing.

Kaguya was a really tough opponent

The rubbing stopped.

Tsunade stared down at the writing trying to figure out if he meant someone else. If there was a spelling mistake. She kept a hand on his shoulder while leaning over it and peered at the paper. Finally, she just asked; “Who is Kaguya?”

Naruto looked up at her with the biggest doe eyes and tilted his head (god she didn't know how much she missed such a small but signature act. She nearly forgot just how cute-) before writing more.

The moon lady who wanted everyone's chakra, we had to fight her at the end and seal her way.

Tsunade stared some more. In fact, she stood there and stared at the paper and then Naruto's eyes for such a long time that he grew uncomfortable and squirmed in his seat. Tsunade had the entirety of the war playing out in her head and just to be safe she played it over another time to try to see if what Naruto wrote had any semblance. As she was busy thinking she groped around for her wheely chair to grab. She sat in it, paused, wheeled closer, and took a deep breath. All of this making Naruto very uncomfortable.

“Naruto,” she started. “I...remember the war completely, I had time to think about it, since you've been...asleep.” She looked deep into his eyes, searching, and Naruto saw how the war aged her eyes just like it did him. The pause in between words lengthen before she spoke again. The weight of a million things unsaid behind it. “Naruto, there was no Kaguya on that battlefield. I've never even heard of her.”

Naruto sat there for a moment, brows furrowing deeper by the second. He would have written his objection down, maybe even say how her old age was finally getting to her. But, when she spoke, she spoke with all the finality and certainty that only a Kage could have. He knew that because he too once had that voice. He opened his mouth a couple of times, his gaze searching her face before frantically starting to search the room. His eyes kept landing on a Kakashi that was still laying in his lap a couple of times before settling there. Widening eyes gazed at the silver hair and he snatched his pen to quickly write.

I'm not sure if you were still in the Tsuki no Me but Kakashi was with us. He would know.

Tsunade's gaze flickered to Kakashi, who was still laying on Naruto's lap but unknown to him fully awake and listening carefully. His dark and weary eyes stared steadily at the wall across the room, showing the intent focus he had on everything going on at the moment. She looked back to Naruto.

“Naruto, it's been three years since you've been asleep, and in the time I have had plenty of talks with the other Shinobi about what happened during the war. I was even counseling a number of them. And in all those talks, even with Kakashi here, not once has anyone said anything about a Kaguya. Nor had there been any names resembling hers or the description you gave.” The Kage's voice was back, and Naruto clenched his teeth together with such force that they made a sound. A strained and painful huff of breath escaped out of him, and he tensed where he sat. All mannerism so unlike their Naruto that the other two occupants knew, it was as if he was an adult, and they were the children.

Naruto shifted a bit, enough to rustle Kakashi who was slowly sitting back up. But Naruto either didn't notice or didn't comment on it. He wrote more names down on the paper before personally handing it to Tsunade instead of tapping it. The air in the room was tense as she read.

“I'm sorry Naruto, none of these names mean anything to me. I haven't heard a single one of them.” She sat the paper down carefully and shook her head as Naruto pointedly tapped on a name 'Hagoromo, old Sage.' He paused, looked her deep in the eyes, the blue threatening to drown her in them before tapping the same name again. Tsunade, for his benefit, took another look but ultimately shook her head negatively again and gave him a sorry expression. She and Kakashi, who was now sitting slouched in a way that shouldn't be comfortable watched attentively as Naruto relaxed his grip and let the pen roll about. It was his turn to now gaze distantly at the wall ahead of him. He didn't move, but the glint in his eyes was frightening. The blue eyes were heavy and sharp, seeming to be made out of pure diamond. His gaze slowly narrowed, his expression becoming more tense and grim. Kakashi sat up straight and put a heavy hand on Naruto's knee in an attempt to ground him back. Not realizing that, with that worried expression he wore he looked like a dog trying to give comfort. Tsunade was torn from recoiling from such an expression on Naruto's face to figuring out where all those names came from. If it were just one it may have been fine but with such an extensive list as this. A sage? Kakashi and Tsunade both jumped as Naruto started to hyperventilate. His breathing became erratic and unsteady and raw sounding. The air was trying to force its way out of a small throat way too quickly. Kakashi had both hands on his shoulders keeping him steady as they were both trying to calm him back down. He started to thrash in their hold. He was pushing them away.

“Naruto-”

“Naruto please calm down!”

“We'll get you through this-”

“We-”

Naruto opened his mouth and from it, a deep scratching voice echoed out.

“get...OUT!”

Tsunade and Kakashi's eyes widen as Naruto swung his arm in an effort to give himself space.

“GET OUT, LEAVE ME... ALONE”

After he finished yelling he sat there with his hair covering his eyes and breathing heavily but more stable. The silence after the yelling made Kakashi's ears ring. He himself was breathing fast, unsure how to help or what to do. A heavy hand on his arm dragged him from his panicking. Tsunade looked him in the eyes.

“Let's go, Hatake.” Kakashi tensed and shook his head. He made a move to get to Naruto's side but was stopped by Tsuande's pure strength.

“Kakashi, he wants to be alone.” Tsunade's voice cracked at the end. A sorrowful expression crossed her face as she moved to stand in Kakashi's line of sight.

“He's got his breathing under control now, you see? So it's fine. Let's just give him so space.” She was saying this for Naruto's sake, he noticed, as a pained look once again took over her features and she bit her lip. Space was the last thing either of them wanted at the moment. He just woke up. Kakashi's gaze drifted from the Hokage's honey-colored eyes to the only window in the room where there, he saw the reflection of snow-white. The color gradually climbing, covering all the blonde there was until it was almost too pure of a color to look at. He wanted...they both wanted to be by Naruto. But they never wanted to hurt him. Kakashi let out a long sigh and let Tsunade lead him to the door. They both stopped and turned back, calling his name at the same time before locking eyes. They both smiled.

“We will be back, Naruto.”

The door closed, and the two adults use all their willpower to walk away.

Chapter Text

Naruto watched as Tsunade and Kakashi left, trying to ignore the longing they both had on their faces. He tried to keep his breathing under control as he brought a hand up to cover his eye.

(Not a hand, it's the hand now. He only has one.)

He couldn't wrap his head around the situation. In fact, it seemed like the room was swirling around him as he tried to make sense of this new information.

"No Kaguya...no Old Man Sage. That means...the war didn't happen as I remember. Does that mean I'm in a different place? Or is this really the past? Did I make up those people? No, they were so real though."

Sometimes talking out his problems out loud helped him but now it was making everything worse. Naruto rubbed at his temple as a blistering headache started forming. His skin felt too clammy.

“No, the war happened here right? It happened just differently. Or, it happened normally I'm the one that's different. It's me right? I'm the problem in the scenario right? Unless...this is another dream.”

Those words that he has purposely been avoided this entire time seemingly made the world stop. Naruto's blue eyes got wider and wider as he clutched his head. His heart felt like it was tied with weights and thrown into the ocean or maybe it was him that was thrown into the waters. Gripping his hair Naruto looked up to see both doors in the room shaking as if someone was trying to break into them before being forced down. Bang bang bang, the doors shook and trembled before being forced down. Water flooded his room too quickly to even stop or react to. The murky water crashed into the wall on the opposite side before coming back and filling up and up and up. It was bitterly cold, lapping at his crossed feet before continuing up to the height of his waist. Naruto's eyes flickered down as he stared impassively at it, climbing the rest of his body in a matter of seconds and submerging him completely. A feeling of detachment pierced the poor boy like a numbing needle as he floated in place, having nothing to look at but the ceiling. Sighing out of his nose, Naruto leaned his head back and watched the bubbled emerge. He felt almost at peace in the cold embrace and that thought made him squeeze his eyes shut. Those yucky thoughts in the moments before certain death should not be entertained, as they were as wile and engaging as a serpent coiled around sake. So he shut his eyes, and in doing so somehow blocked out any noise as well creating a completely calm void. 

When he opened his eyes again the water and the roaring sensation it caused was gone. No, that's not right. The water wasn't there in the first place. Naruto released his grip on his hair and winced as his headache pierced and then lessened from the lack of grip. He looked left, right, up and down, but there was no water. The room was as dry as it should be. He looked back down to his hand, bone dry and shaking. This situation was becoming more and more out of control. So Naruto did what he would always do. He flung himself out of bed and ran through as many doors needed to lead him to the outside. He ran away from the hospital as fast as he could. Not looking back, for fear of a submerged building or new revelations it didn't matter. He ran.

–

Naruto sprinted into the third ally he came upon to catch his breath. He was more winded than he ever thought possible just from running. His vision was a little unfocused as he looked down to his bare feet as he gasped.

'This body feels old...no that's not it either. Rather than that, it's been a long time since it moved.'

Barely regaining his breath Naruto walked towards the opening of the ally. He brought up his hand to cover his vision from the strong sun as he came out. Looking around and ignoring the slight throb in his head, Naruto's vision distorted between the not world's village, the village from long ago, and the current vision that came from reasonable time. He clenched his eyes shut and shook his head to get his sight to return to normal and took everything in.

The village...didn't look entirely too different.

'Wait, different from what? Different from the past or the not-world?'

Naruto hummed a little in irritation as he walked in the shadows of the buildings. It was hard not to compare things to the not-world considering he lived in it for many years, mentally. The village wasn't, what was the word, high tech like he lived in. But the buildings and shops were not the old, nearly dumpy, way they used to be. Naruto reflected to himself as his long life living as the Hokage came back.

'The buildings here are made of both wood, stone, and sheet metal. That means that the relations of our imports and exports are doing extremely well if they could afford to build regular homes with metal instead of reserving it from important buildings like the Hokage Tower.'

Without thinking, Naruto walked down the streets that he walked down again and again and again. It pained him that things weren't exactly the same, even though he knew they wouldn't build things exactly the same as before after-

'Wait.' Naruto stopped in his tracts

'When...did Konoha change its style? After a war...they wouldn't be in any place to use expenses to rebuild an entire village. Especially after just rebuilding from Pein-'

Naruto's eyes shot open and he doubled over as memories assaulted his mind. The street he was on was more familiar than he thought originally.

After Pein the village was ruined. Shikaku and Yamato were consulted in the re-building of the village. They wanted to use stronger and less ignitable material.

Naruto choked on nothing while still reeling. He caught the sight of something white in the corner of his eyes but he didn't care at the moment.

'Did the village look like this before?'

His vision distorted again. Memories of the village returning and the street he was on becoming more and more familiar. The way it looked, the materials used. He knew if he rounded this corner a new row of homes made out of golden stone would be there. Something unheard of at the time.

“Aaaa...aaaa!” Naruto felt like his heartbeat was in his head. The pain was near indescribable. He kept his hand wrapped around his head, feeling as though it was the only thing keeping his head together. He wished deeply for his other arm. Naruto curled more into himself, feeling his knees dig painfully into the ground and clenching his teeth together. He felt so lost. His shoulders started shaking as he choked when a hand touched his shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you all right? Do you need help?” An unfamiliar but soft voice came from his right side. Naruto froze all movement before slowly looking over at a woman who appeared to be a shopkeeper. Naruto stared at her some more before raising her head and looking at her more clearly.

“I saw you collapse over here and I got worried. If you want I-” The woman cut herself off once she got a good look at his face. Naruto saw her trace the three marks on each side of his cheeks and tensed. That move is all too familiar.

His childhood flashed before his eyes. All the loneliness. All the fear. Never knowing why he was so hated, why he came home to know one. Why did people who saw those marks on his face become so enraged. All those names he was called. Being referred to as 'that kid' by most but by 'beast' and worse by others. Naruto felt a tear he had long since forgotten about prick at the corner of his eye as the feeling of pure anguish washed over him. A feeling that he was more familiar with than this street he was collapsed on or any other street he has ever walked. He knew what came next. He knew what came when people registered his face with that expression and he was prepared for it.

In the not-world, he was loved. He was loved like he always wanted to be. More than being the Hokage or being excepted. That...was what he wished for more deeply than anything. That was the world he created. His dream world.

It seemed almost pathetic now, and Naruto felt a bitter smile force itself on his face as he stared back waiting for the look that caused so many nightmares and heartache. He really was loved in the other world, and now he was back here, and he was made for it.

But Naruto wasn't expecting what happened next. The woman before him, right at the part where he would be cursed at or looked at in disgust, changed her face into one of pure mourning and sorrow. And it was directed at him! Wait, it took Naruto's brain a minute to connect that it wasn't directed at him, but for him. The same look Tsunade, Sakura, Shikamaru, Kakashi, and...Sasuke would give him, whenever he talked a bit about his past with just them. This woman before him was looking like that at him and he could only stare dumbly as she purposely put her hand back on his shoulder. No one dared touch him willingly as a child.

“Do you want me to call someone, Naruto-san” Naruto tore his gaze away from the hand back to her and felt as if he exploded. No...why, why was she looking at him like this? This wasn't right. He tried to get up but tripped backward startling the woman. He wanted to escape, to leave, to just get away from those eyes looking at him. Why this, why now? He noticed some other people have started to gather. He was used to the gathering to stare him down but they weren't looking at him with the cold stare he was used to. He should want this. But no...this is different. This was real. He always had a feeling of being out of his body in the not-world but even then no one looked at him like this. No one looked at him like they may understand and accepted his pain. Naruto started to hyperventilate again as he looked back and forth. He brought his arm up to shield his gaze as he focused inward for his signature move, the Kage Bushin Justu. He was going to scatter like petals and leave. Naruto pulled down within himself and gathered the Chakra forward, but he was too undone, has been too undone since waking up, that it took him a moment to realize something was off about his Chakra. It felt clumped instead of streaming. As he forced it up in a rush it came and sizzled his skin.

That wasn't normal.

Naruto cried out as it felt as if his Chakra leaked right out of him, clumping together as he tried to form some more. He tried to focus back, shielding his face away from those in front of him. But the second he tried to use precision-

Bambam...BAM BAM BAM

Literal sparks exploded around his body, made from the Chakra that leaked out that he couldn't control. Naruto looked afraid, and in the fear still tried to summon at least one clone. He closed his eyes again and dipped down lower and in a scramble brought up with him as much Chakra as he could. He could feel his skin burn and blister. and the sizzle of the sparks grown louder and more frequent before-

BOOM

A man-sized explosion erupted from his Chakra, throwing him back to crash into the shop front behind him. All his strength left him and the Chakra that he just expanded left him dizzy. Naruto pried one eye open and saw the people that were crowding him were also blown back. The woman who was trying to help him lying prone on the ground.

Naruto gasped, trying to sit up but having difficultly getting out of the shop window he landed in. A handful of people went to the woman. He could say it was something else. That it could have been an explosive tag some kid threw. But he knew, he knew it came from him. He knew that he did this.

An old man that ran the store helped him out of it gently but Naruto didn't notice. The second he was on his feet he took off and ran ran ran. He heard calls behind him and saw that weird white out of his peripherals but he didn't stop. Tears spilled from his eyes. He was angry! Why did that happen? Why did he do that? He hurt someone! As he flew down the street and thought about how he didn't know this place. He didn't know what was real or not. He was so confused and he didn't know who to talk to. The looks the woman was giving him, the looks that Tsunade and Kakashi were giving him.

“What happened? What really happened while I was out? How much of the past did I make up? Is this real or is this all a dream too!? WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER! ” Naruto shouted to no one but himself as he continued to high tail it back to the hospital. The pieces of white that were flying before his eyes became red as anger overcame him.

He ran to the hospital building that he left. He thought he heard his name being called behind him but he didn't look. When he approached the door he saw Tsunade standing there with Kakashi and Iruka looking stern as if they were preparing to head the direction he came to. Naruto's expression turned pinched and tender as he spotted his beloved Iruka, but he didn't stop. He put his head down as he ran right in between all of them into the hospital. He ran down the hall, his feet slapping against the wood floor. Naruto spotted a broom propped against the wall as he ran by that he grabbed before flinging the door to his room open and slamming it shut behind him. He shoved the broom in place to prevent the sliding door from being opened before running to the outside door and window by his bed. He slammed the window shut and locked in, drawing the curtains closed, and locked the door from the inside before throwing himself into the corner. He brought his knees to his chest as banging from outside started. For a brief moment, Naruto thought that maybe a crowd of pitchfork-carrying villagers were here to drive him out. But the voices on the other side were ones he knew too well.

“Naruto? Naruto!? What happened? Please let me in!” Iruka was in the hallway trying to open the door. He heard Tsunade out there as well telling him to open up so she can heal him. Naruto didn't know what she was talking about until his staggering gaze went to the floor to see bloody footprints leading to the spot he was in. His feet were covered in blood and dirt. He felt pain on his arm and saw a bruise form near a cut. A cut that was small but not healing. He saw the door leading to the outside jiggle and knew it had to be Kakashi, but he didn't know who was at the window also trying to get in.

“Naruto let us in, please.” The pain in Tsuande's voice hurt him more than the wounds he had. Iruka pleaded as well as Kakashi talked in the deep and soothing voice he had when trying to persuade something. Naruto clenched his teeth, feeling like a trapped animal that they ought to kill. He stood up in his spot before taking a deep breath.

“LEAVE ME ALONE YOU...YOU FAKES!” The outburst shocked the others into silence. He could practically feel the gears in the minds turning, trying to figure out what he meant.

“I did everything for this village. I saved it so many times! You guys put me through so much shit... SO WHEN I SAY LEAVE ME ALONE THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS LEAVE ME ALONE! I don't want to see anyone until I figure out what the hell happened, alright?!” The force of his yelling nearly made him collapse but he stood his ground.

“If you want to talk then we can talk through the doors, but this is my place! This is my...my den! Don't come in unannounced unless I say you can or I'll use everything in my to Fight. You. Out!” With the last of his blowout, Naruto stared determinedly at the doors. The quiet left in his wake made his ears ring. No one said anything and knew that they were desperately trying to figure out what he meant. Naruto heard the window move again, he turned his head and snarled. He went in deep and started to push Chakra out. Pops and sizzle of his Chakra came to life, and the curtains moved from the small shock waves they produced. Naruto crouched down lower.

“Stop.” The commanding and authoritative voice of the Hokage resounded from both him and Tsunade at the same time. Everything stopped. He turned his head to look at the door Tsunade was behind. He expected a screaming fight to start. Or to even see her use her immense strength to break down the door. But none of that happened. Instead, she talked in a soft but pleading voice.

“Naruto, we will stop. For now. There is some bandages and other medical supplies by the desk near this door. If you open the biggest draw a small refrigerator should be in there. Use the water to patch up...if you really don't want me doing it. I would really not like to agree but, I'll accept your terms.” Naruto heard the other people start to inject at Tsuande's statement.

“But know that I'm only agreeing because you don't know the consequences of fighting right now. When you are ready, I'll tell you all you need to know. Until then,” Naruto heard the sound of a chair being dragged over before it stopped at the door. “I'll be sitting right here waiting for you.”

Naruto heard another chair being dragged over and heard Kakashi slide down the outside door to sit as well.

“Naruto?” Naruto's eyes widen as he was finally able to piece the voice together. It was Sakura.

“Naruto, I'll be here too. As your teammate yes but more importantly...as your friend!” He looked through the crack of the curtains to see a silhouette dip down. He could only imagine her sitting on her knees outside the window.

“I'm not leaving without talking to you either, Naruto,” Iruka spoke next in the determined voice he had. Naruto felt him nearly fall apart just hearing him before looking over when Kakashi chimed in with a hum. Naruto looked from door to door to the window before down to his bloody feet. His brain didn't feel lighter, but he did feel thirsty. With a sigh he walked over to the medical cabinets, not wincing at the clinking sound his feet made when he stepped on the glass still lodged in his feet. He opened up the cold wood cabinet and the refrigerator inside before talking out one of the huge bottles of water in there. He put it in between his knees to hold while he sat on the cabinets to steady himself to unscrew the cap. He dipped his head back and downed the whole thing in one sitting leaving him gasping. He could practically feel the concern rolling in from underneath the door. He glanced at it before grabbing another bottle, opening it, and chugging half before pouring the rest on his feet. He found the cloths and bandages easily enough but took his time whipping his feet off and bandaging up. Naruto was doing that on purpose though, to see if they would stay true to their promise or get impatient and break down the doors. They kept their word though, and he knew they were so quiet because they were all intensely listening to him and any sounds he made. Naruto pulled out a big piece of glass from the window behind the fruit stand that he crashed into. He looked at it in his hand and saw the woman on the ground in the reflection of it. The whine that came from his lips couldn't be stopped but to the credit of everyone outside the most he heard was a chair scrap lightly on the ground at the sound. Naruto finished bandaging his feet with one arm and leaned back on the wall. He let out a long deflating sigh as he stared at nothing for a few a while and then sighed again. He looked towards the door Tsunade was behind before speaking.

“...Alright. Tell me what you know.”

Chapter Text

Naruto paused, thinking...considering, before adding;

“You can...open the doors.” he licked his lips of any remaining water from them. “But, you are not allowed to cross the threshold. Unless you want to stomach my wrath.”

There was a pause again after his words, more for him than for any thinking. He knew, deep down, that they are restraining themselves from not listening to him and just rushing him to do what they feel is right. But he is not the same Naruto as before, and the sentence goes so many different ways. They could feel it. They could see it. They won't be able to do as they please with him anymore for the time being. Or treat him like a kid. He won't let them.

He took the broom off of the door that leads to the hallway and sat back down on top of the cabinets. The door slid open once he was seated, as they waited for him, and he was grateful for that. Tsunade scanned him with the cut and precision of the great medic she was, taking him in from his hair to his arms, to his legs, and his bandaged-covered feet. Her arms twitched but they remained at her side until she sat down on the chair she pulled up and settled them in her lap. Naruto looked away from how hard she clenched them to make direct eye contact with Iruka.

Naruto's breath softly left him as he gazed upon the warm eyes of his most precious person. Hazel eyes, barring flecks of brown and green now but in the summertime, Naruto knew he would be able to see them change to blue. Warm and soft and gentle. He tore his gaze away to instead stare at the scar running across his nose, as staring too long into Iruka's eyes always made him feel like tears would fall for some reason. Well...he didn't know why as a child but he knew now. Naruto knew that those tears would be of pure happiness at Iruka loving him just as much as he loved Iruka, and mourning; at the cruel childhood he had where no one looked at him with any softness at all. So he moved his gaze to Iruka's scar but noticed the change in the other man at his actions. In the past, Iruka didn't say anything about Naruto's habit of avoiding direct eye contact. No one did. Naruto would look into people's eyes for three seconds max before looking anywhere else. He couldn't stand direct eye contact unless he was staring down enemies. But...for some reason doing it now...Iruka's body language changed. Naruto could read that. His shoulders were hunched and he bit his lip. His eyes...were sad. Naruto concluded that Iruka must be upset that he wasn't meeting his eyes. After being asleep for so long. He tried his best to reach his eyes again but it was too much so he turned to look at Kakashi, who had opened the door that led outside and sat, resting his back on the frame. Kakashi was looking at him softly too, which was a tad weird as he typically didn't. Their eyes met as well but...Kakashi made a point to hold it for three seconds before pointedly looking away.

'???' Naruto tilted his head to the side. 'Kakashi knows of my rule? Well, he's crazy observant so he probably picked it up. But why is he doing it now?'

Sakura didn't open the window or make herself seeable. He was also thankful for that. The image of her older self...a wife and a mother. A wife in a bad relationship and a mother who doesn't talk with her only child, all of that flashed before his eyes, and for a second he could smell the not world it was almost like he went back. He dug his nails into the wood and grounded himself into the present. Naruto gritted out a deep breath before forming his next words.

"So...three years have gone by and things have changed. Obviously, they would change after the war. I know you wanted me to tell you what I remember but...it's probably best if you just tell me. Though before any of that, let's start with this." Naruto tapped his body. His body that wasn't producing chakra right. His body that wasn't healing his small wounds or big ones.

Tsunade nodded but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She and Iruka exchanged looks before she spoke.

"Well Naruto, I guess I finally have an opportunity to do this." His smile was brightening as he spoke and his tone made even Kakashi shift. In front of his very eyes, Naruto watched as they all bowed...to him.

“Naruto, from the bottom of my heart and to the very core of my being, thank you for saving everyone during the war. Thank you, for so much!”

Naruto froze as they all politely bowed to him in one of the most intimate ways. He wasn't sure what to do here. His heart picked up.

"And I wanted to say...I'm sorry!" Iruka yelled out the last part. Regret and anguish tining his voice. Naruto almost got up to pick him up from bowing but stop out of fear of hurting him as he did with that villager. His movement made the cabinet squeak and then did Iruka look up. His face turned into something of awe as he took in Naruto, which made him squirm a bit.

"Your hair...really does change." Iruka breathed out. Naruto didn't know what that meant. But he was glad that it made the other two look up as well.

"There isn't anything to thank me for I was just doing what I felt was right..." Naruto closed his eyes to hide from the looks he was getting but paused as he thought about what he had just said.

'But I'm not sure anymore of what I did.'

“Iruka...tell me. How exactly did the war go?”

There was an intake of breath. Iruka seemed to smile but it struggled to stay there as thoughts rushed through his head.

“I'm not saying I don't remember anything just...” Naruto trailed off as he tried to look from the intense gaze of Tsunade and Iruka only to meet the soft and caring gaze of Kakashi. There wasn't an escape from this new way they were looking at him and it was honestly making him uncomfortable. It felt like he was exposed, like his skin was see-through and they were looking at his very bones. He never liked making people worry about him, and ever since he woke up it seemed like all anyone did was look at him worriedly!

Naruto braced himself, and it was at this time that he told himself not to mention anything about the not-world. Anything about his long dream and other life. He didn't want anyone to freak out even more.

–

“When you left after our conversation I didn't stay behind. I couldn't...I couldn't let anyone fight alone.”

“The war we were fighting was against Obito, even if we didn't know his name in the beginning, and Madara.”

“So Madara was reanimated then." Naruto nodded.  "Who else was?”

"Kabuto reanimated the fourth Hokage Minato," Kakashi said. He gazed at Naruto before chuckling to himself. "Minato was known as one of the most powerful shinobi as well as always being calm and collected even in battle. But that changed when he met you after coming back to life." Kakashi's gaze turned a bit saddened, but he hid it fast. Naruto knew that he was hiding it because Naruto was tired of seeing everyone gaze at him like that, and mentally gave his respect to Kakashi. "You...remember that he is your father, right?"

Naruto nodded to himself.

“Yeah, the first meeting didn't go so well. I was really upset with him, for what he did, and what he didn't do.”

"Aaaa~ I'm glad you remember that. He introduced himself as your father in the middle of the battlefield, and even I knew that wasn't such a bright idea, but he was so excited to see his one and only child. You, naturally-" Kakashi said the word naturally in such a way that it felt like he had gently pressed a hand to Naruto's leg in comfort, "-were very upset. After he finished introducing himself he reached out to hug you and you punched him with all you got. In all my life I never would have thought that I would see Minato on his knees begging for forgiveness as someone lectured him in the middle of a deadly battle. Your mother would get angry at him sure, but he always had a way to smooth it over in a matter of seconds with his charm. It was quite funny, he tried so hard to get close to you. Well, maybe it wasn't completely funny. But when everyone was teaming up and he put a hand on your shoulder just for you to break it, I couldn't help but laugh at the face he made." Kakashi chuckled more to himself. Which was great, because it was sort of a rare occurrence beforehand to hear him laugh so much. He goofed around and sometimes made weird noises, but most of the time his laughter was more in a mocking sense, saying 'hahaha' while he did it. It was a bit, refreshing, Naruto thought. Truly great.

What wasn't great was that that wasn't how he remembers meeting his dad at all. What the hell? In his memory, the first time he met the fourth was when he almost pulled the seal off of Kurama's cage, and he was sure he told Kakashi about that incident. Did he forget? Or maybe...it was Naruto who forgot. Naruto took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He pictured the face of the fourth Hokage. The way he looked and the way his voice sounded. He went to remember when he almost broke the seal but...it was blurry. Why was it blurry? This is how it happened, right? The memory in his head didn't seem as sharp as it should have been. He tried to remember where they were standing.

'Well, I am the one that named you. You are my son after all.' The words the fourth said came as clear as day as Naruto continued to picture his face. But the feeling of happiness left as he focused on the background.

It was the battlefield.

Why was the battlefield behind Minato? They met in his sub-conscience didn't they?

Naruto tried to remember how his mind looked when they meet, but he found he couldn't remember it anymore now that he saw the battlefield. He couldn't return there.

“Ah, I'm sorry for bringing it up. I wasn't sure if it was okay to mention it, was it...a mistake?”

Naruto opened his sharp blue eyes and flicked them over to Kakashi. Seeing Kakashi's face he made a mental note not to let his emotions reach his face so easily in reaction to any new information or news he may get. Their reactions to his reactions were becoming... too much.  At this rate, he might have another breakdown. And if that breakdown left him in a state of the unconscious...where would he be taken to next? The voice in the back of his head that wasn't the fox got louder and louder, saying things like 'is this reality? Alternate reality? Am I awake-' but he cut them off all at once. He took another, smaller breath.

"It's fine to bring him up. I was just thinking...of my feelings towards him." And he was. That wasn't a lie. If he remembered correctly he and the fourth made up so he could continue the battle. But that didn't mean his feelings towards everything changed. What kind of answer was 'I sealed a chakra monster in you because I knew you could deal with it' anyways? He was upset with such an answer, but didn't feel he had the time to go through it. But now that he was here, the repressed anger and hurt he had come rushing back.

"Say, what happened with him? Did we get to talk more at any time?" Kakashi looked ready to answer but Naruto interrupted himself. 

“Wait, that's not what I'm asking. That's not it at all. What I meant to ask was, did I accept the fourth as my dad, or did I continue hating him? Did we say goodbye?”

Everyone looked at him with wide eyes.

“Mmmm, well....the answer to that would probably be a no? It would depend on how you look at it I guess. You didn't want to have anything to do with him, no matter how hard he was trying. At one point you looked at him, and told him-

'I won't forgive you. I won't forgive you for damning a child. I won't forgive you for abandoning me. You were supposed to be a genius shinobi, you could have found some way to make sure I didn't have to suffer. I'll work together with you, but only because I want to protect my precious people and you are not one of them. I won't love you just because you are my father. That's not how this works.'

Naruto remembers that. The words tingled on his lips as he almost said them in time with Kakashi. He remembers looking back and saying that in the middle of the war. He felt like a part of his brain connected to something.

"Unfortunately, or fortunately? You didn't get to say goodbye to each other. However-" Kakashi gave a deep and sad sigh. "-I do have his goodbye for you. Whenever you want, I can tell you about it. Or if you rather not, then I'll forget it. Just know that there is no rush, and we can talk about what you want at any time."

Kakashi was getting major brownie points. Naruto made a mental note to go and eat with him at some point. He offered a small thank you that practically had Kakashi beaming before he moved to continue.

“So if The fourth was resurrected then all the other Hokages were too?”

"Actually the only ones resurrected were the first, third, and the fourth. The second Hokage recognized what was happening and gain the willpower to honorably commit suicide to stay out of the war" 

 Naruto squinted at that information but didn't ponder it further. 

"The cost of using the Edo Tensei is quite high and, quite cruel. Resurrecting others doesn't deplete your chakra for a fast death as some would think. Instead, it eats away at your sanity. A part of you is always given to the bodies, and the more you make the more you lose yourself. Kabuto had a vision, one that I would say was greater than Obito's plan. And that was to always carry out Orochimaru's ideals, even if Orochimaru wasn't around. Being his apprentice meant he had first-hand knowledge of all of Orochimaru's abilities. Whenever his sanity would start slipping or his mind would nearly break completely under the sheer weight of what he was doing, he would shed his skin and make a brand new body with no problem. He, in every sense of the word, perfected Orochimaru's technique." Tsunade shook her head before Kakashi took back over. 

"He made a horrifying enemy. I remember standing at the edge of the battlefield facing him. I saw him bring his hands to his head and claw off his own flesh as that ability took its toll. His laugh rang out, and I still get goosebumps thinking about it. His confidence was terrifying. He was dubbed the 'Perfect Enemy' by some people." Kakashi shivered as he recalled the distortion of a person with a strong will for death. The absolute chaos of it all. Naruto tried to store away the information he just learned. Not realizing Kabuto played such an important part in the war and trying to push down the weird sensation in his stomach as the conversation continued. 

"Besides the first, third, and fourth Hokage, others came." Iruka continued. 

"Madara, right?" The air became heavy at the name again. 

"Yes, Madara. He truly devastated our numbers. It was a blessing that my grandfather was there to distract him, or way more casualties would have followed." Tsunade took a deep inhale for the next line. "Now then, the other people resurrected were Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Fugaku-”

“Wait, Fugaku?" Naruto stopped her. His mind picking up. "That's...Sasuke's father, right?” He had only heard that name twice in his life, along with the other.

"Yes, he was." there was a tight and solemn nod. 

"When the war started nobody knew what to expect or just how powerful the people on the other side would be either. Obito and Kabuto worked in tandem to create an opposing force to end all they came across. I'm not sure if you remember Zetsu, the plant-like man."

"Yeah, he could split apart and form a 'white Zetsu' and a 'black Zetsu.'"

"Mhm, Unfortunately for us, our formation plans were found out by the intel gathering skills of Zetsu. So Kabuto, in the last strain of sanity he had, formed his own task forces to go after our different formation groups. He didn't care about who led what group or who all were fighting, he just wanted to win. So, an Uchiha lead each force, all renowned, and all with a Sharingan. Itachi when alive originally got Shisui's Sharingan. The one Shisui got came from the arm of Danzo, whom Kabuto was able to track down and steal a couple of eyes back.

"So....so then the war-"

"Was a war against the Uchiha's." 

Naruto sat stunned in silence. 

"What about Sasuke!?" He searched everyone's faces before the outside voice spoke up.

"I'll tell you about that, Naruto-kun." Time seemed to compress around the side of his eyes at Sakura's voice. The shadow of her walking to the door overtook Kakashi. He saw her right hand first and a thousand different versions overlayed his vision. And then she was there. And she was as beautiful as always. Taking her in like intaking a breath he didn't know he needed. She was young again. He noticed how her eyes had a shine in them that seemed genuine. Her bangs weren't covering her forehead, but instead framed the diamond seal that sat there, and she seemed to be keeping her now long again hair in a braid thrown over her shoulder. Naruto couldn't take his eyes off of her face. She looked back at him with wide, amazed eyes. But she was young now, she didn't have the lines coming into her face, she was young-

And she looked happy.

Naruto was broken apart at the heavy realization that the Sakura in the not-world never looked as happy as this Sakura looked right now. That awareness cracked his being as his chest burned by the devastation. He knew now, that the not-world Sakura was the one he created. He made the rocky relationship with Sakura and her child. He made Sakura, a formidable and up-and-coming Shinobi and apprentice of Tsunade a stay-at-home housewife. He made Sakura marry Sasuke in a loveless relationship where Sakura took care of their child all by herself. He did that. He has, over their adventures grown to value, rely upon, and most importantly trust Sakura, and what did he do to show that? He destroyed and rewrote who she was. It was like he killed her. Why did he do that? He loved her, right?

As Naruto's eyes traced over Sakura's face he struggled for air. What sort of friend was he? To do that to someone he loved... 

How could he

The room shook as Naruto unconsciously tried to form Chakra only to have it explode before it could stick, creating shock waves. His throat felt sore and his hair was once again lifted and turned stark white. Naruto brought his one arm up to clutch at his chest.

"Naruto-kun!" He heard Sakura yell his name in such a painfully familiar way, over and over again. His trembling gaze was trained on the floor at her feet. He saw her, wearing sandals like Tsunade, take a step forward into the room.

"Don't you...come in here." Naruto abruptly stood up. The words came up low and biting. As cold as a blizzard. He looked her square in the eyes, his teammate that he hurt, and she didn't know just how much he hurt her. He couldn't forgive himself. She brought her hands up in a gasp as she looked at him. Her face a mirage of emotions. Kakashi had his hands on her shoulders, pulling her back. It looked like he was trying to not let her get closer rather than putting his hands on her to protect her. 

'It's almost like he is protecting me.'

It was all too tense, but then Sakura's face smoothed over, into that new painful look that everyone has been giving him. Naruto nearly faltered over himself as she bowed, polity to him.

"Sorry Naruto-kun, I, for a second, forgot you didn't want people in this area. I lost control of myself, and I hope I didn't upset you too much with my actions." She smoothly took one big step backward, back outside, and stood there with her hands folded in front of her. Her face, while a little pitched, smiled a beaming smile at him. A real, apologetic but lovely smile. Naruto felt his aggressive stance relax, and it wasn't until his face relaxed that he realized just how awful of a snarl he had on his face. By the pain in his brow and lips, he had the snarl on for longer than he realized.

Naruto didn't want to bite at Sakura, (the overwhelming guilt he was feeling crushed his temples) but he didn't want to do more harm to Sakura. So he took in a deep breath and held it in. He cleared his mind, and after seven seconds let his breath out and relaxed more.

"You don't have anything to apologize for ya know?" Naruto wanted to give a backward, lopsided smile but found that he couldn't. He was slowly becoming more and more numb. Instead, he just tilted his head and hoped that what he was trying to convey would come through the static going on in his head. He made a glance over to Iruka and Tsunade and barely caught Tsunade hurriedly taking a seat to make it look like she wasn't standing up just a second ago. It would have worked if she didn't nearly miss and clank the chair on the ground, but she sat there, straight-faced, and Naruto nearly laughed. He didn't know what he would be laughing at though.

Naruto's attention shifted back to Sakura who went to say something more but went into her thinking stance instead. Naruto took this chance.

"So, the war then, was about the resurrection of the Uchiha Clan." His eyes narrowed as he thought about all the pain and torment Sasuke must have gone through, and he desperately wanted to know about Sasuke. He really did. Even in the Not-World, he was the happiest when Sasuke was there, next to him. He remembered smiling only when Sasuke was there. At feeling at ease only with Sasuke. It felt like he was actually in his body with Sasuke. For most of his time in that place, he felt as though a dark heavy veil was placed on his body at all times. Weighing him down. But whenever Sasuke, his best friend, would come that veil was lifted. He felt like he could breathe and move and see.

'I...really want to see him.'

But, something inside hurt. He wanted Sakura to tell him where Sasuke was and to bring him here, and there lies the problem.

That being if Sasuke was even in the village right now.

He woke up in a strange but familiar place and he was so confused it was painful.

'I want to see him.'

Having him here would make Naruto feel better. Would make it feel like he wasn't losing his sanity here and about to chip apart into a million pieces that nobody would be able to pick up in a hundred years.

'I'm...scared.'

He was scared. He felt like at any second he was going to throw up. His head felt like a vice was put on it and someone kept turning the handle and cranking his temples harder and harder. He was scared and unsure. And it's because of that pure fear that he tried to hold his tongue on asking about Sasuke, his closest friend. He wouldn't be able to handle the truth, in case it turned out that Sasuke was gone, that he left the village again, or that he never even came back.

Naruto wanted to tread carefully.

“Who was our main opponent?” His question came.

" It sounds like Kabuto had his hand in making new enemies, but defeating him wouldn't be that hard to do, for the allied nations. You would just have to wait until he was in the middle of shedding himself and strike then” He looked into Kakashi's eyes.

“Was it Obito, then?” He said the name carefully, gently. Kakashi didn't react negatively.

“Aa, Obito. You remember him.”

“ I remember all the problems he caused.” This earned him a smile from everyone.

“But, it wasn't Kaguya, huh.” It wasn't a question. He wanted to focus on Sakura, so he didn't have to look at the pained and confused faces he knew would come. But the image of another her still lingered like a gentle layer around her. He decided to pace instead. He took note that his foot still hurt.

"Kaguya wasn't here. And instead of fighting those guys, it was a battle of the Uchiha. It must have been the hardest battle for Sasuke. That also means I didn't face off against anyone from the  Ōtsutsuki clan. None of those guys existed here. Then the main enemy, who was the one behind it all?" Naruto murmured to himself as he moved. The pacing helps his brain move through thoughts. He stopped quickly and swung around to Kakashi.

“Madara.” He took a step, and then began to walk purposefully toward Kakashi as his mind kept going. “Madara, Madara Madara Madara, it was Madara wasn't it?” Naruto leaned in close to Kakashi's face.

"It was that guy, who was the main enemy. He wanted to make a peaceful world so he targeted Obito to help carry out his Tsuki no Mei plan. He made Obito resurrect his siblings then and use them to fight! All so he could force people into his make-believe world of peace and love. It was Madara, wasn't it!" Naruto hadn't realized how close he was to Kakashi now. Didn't take note of Kakashi's eye-widening, the dark color swirling as he took in all of Naruto's face and expression. He didn't even notice how Kakashi's hands went up, trembling like he wanted to desperately touch Naruto. And he did. Naruto gasped as a warm tingling sensation entered his arm. Out of reflex he stepped back, after all this time still not used to human contact. Kakashi's hand followed before he, as well, stepped back, gathering control of himself and snapping himself out of it. But he wasn't quick enough to hide his emotions. And it hurt Naruto. All of this hurt him so deeply. Everyone has been constantly giving him painful, heartfelt, agonizing expressions. He never saw them look at him like that in his whole lifetime. In any of his lifetimes! What was he supposed to do? Why did it hurt so much to be gazed at like this? He hated seeing his loved ones look like this. He wanted to get stronger so his precious people would never be able to make a sad expression, ever! Even if he was unsure of which world was which. And yet...and yet..here it was...

Fist balled, teeth gritted, Naruto's body moved on its own.

The sound of his forehead slamming against Kakashi's was loud, and he was sure that he probably hurt the other man, but he put his only hand on the back of Kakashi's head and kept him there as he pressed their foreheads together and stayed there. Naruto didn't know the right words to use, anymore. Didn't know what to say to these people. But he wouldn't let anyone be so upset because of him and not know that he still cared....that he was still with them. Naruto remembered seeing animals do this often enough, and it wasn't as invading as a hug would be, whatever hug could be made out of someone with one arm.

After a few moments, in which he was sure to press extra hard against the other head, Naruto let go and stalked over to Tsunade and Iruka, leaving Kakashi behind him and refusing to look at him.

“Do you have a collection of all that happened in the war written down? Would I be able to borrow it, and read it?”

They both stood up and looked at each other. Naruto saw Tsunade eyeing Kakashi up out of the corner of his eyes.

"There have been reports made, and a scroll has been started by scholars and a priestess to record and log it into the Great Library of Hayamichi. They already visited the Kages, and now they go around and bless soldiers and offer to take down their stories."

Naruto nodded. “Something like that won't be done for a while then.”

“Yes,” Tsunade said stepping up. “But...we can get you something better. Something more personal.” Naruto tilted his head, which got them both smiling.

"I'll get a top-notch Shinobi, someone who already has knowledge of all that has happened and has specific knowledge of the leaf Shinobi during the war, and have them write you a book on everything."

Iruka and Naruto both looked at her with wide eyes.

“My lady, you don't mean...” Sakura trailed off from the other side of the room.

"Yes, I will get Nara Shikamaru on this case immediately!" The Hokage looked more than pleased and entirely pumped up at her deceleration. Naruto, too, felt joy at the name of his advisory. Even in the Not-World, Shikamaru was a trusted Shinobi and great friend. He looked at Tsunade, who was giving a hearty and loud laugh, and felt happy at the thought of getting help from the smart man. His chest felt lighter, and his mood was improving quickly.

w̨͑a͇̩̓̄i͓̿t̼͓̼̮̊̓͗̿

He was happy. He was happy to be getting somewhere. But...

Naruto looked down at his hand. Looked down at his cold flesh.

He was missing something. The walls of this room as been sinking, like a force was breathing it in but never exhaling. Something needed to be said that no one was saying. It hung so heavy that the ceiling seemed to cave in. He looked to Sakura, looked her straight in the eyes.

Itneedstobesaid it needstobesaid

"Where is Sasuke?" he will try in one way. See how it goes. Sakura didn't look sad at the mention of their old teammate.

“He's gone.”

Why the hell don't you look sad at saying that-

“He went out to find a cure...for you.”

“...what?...What?” Naruto questioned. It caught him so off guard he said it twice. Sakura looked ready.

"You're coma...well we...." she was faltering. But, with a tremendous effort, steeled herself. Everyone else stood up slowly.

“Naruto, you sacrificed yourself for us.” The words were said with such a deep and heavy undertone that Naruto knew he could have his whole lifetime and more would never be able to forget it.

“You went to war, and you fought, and you shared your Chakra with thousands of Shinobi. You gave it to say many. You separated yourself into clones and traveled hundreds of miles and those clones used every technique you knew to keep everyone safe and you knew. You knew what you were doing. You were in such agony doing it but you still fought with a smile on your face while showing all the Allied Nations something that was never seen in their lifetime. Your actions on that field will go down in history and be passed down from generation to generation...haha, I mean, your jutsu's know have a spot in the forbidden scroll But... You...had no intention of coming out of that war."

Naruto wasn't sure what his heart was doing, it felt like it was beating too fast and too slow. The heavy feeling of the room moved to live in his chest.

“You knew you had more Chakra than anyone on that field, and you decided to use it all, to save everyone.”

w͚̔ḁ̬̙̥̃͋͘͞i̱͒t͉̪͍̦̲͚̒̔̒͆̔̔

"You knew, as you burn through your reserves and the nine tail's chakra, that you were permanently destroying your very self. That using too much would burn you from the inside out. That using too much too fast would eat at you and kill you. No one can give away so much and live and I...even I in the middle of the battle...it didn't hit just how wrong it all was. We all sat in awe and horror. You knew of all of this and you still fought and saved people and although it was slim you took that chance anyways knowing that if you lived, the consequences would be tremendous."

w͕͝a̹̙̦̜̞̳͊͊̈̿͂̏ȋ̥̖̖̥͕̮̼͖́̾͐̾̓͒͋t̖̳͙̔̍̃͊ͅ

"I remember you, smiling up at me. And then you disappeared. I wish I knew what your true intentions were that entire time. I really do wish for that. You fought a terrible war and saved everyone and used the last of your strength to teleport yourself away because you knew what was coming. You knew that if you purged all your charka and the Kyuubi's would erode your system and any Chakra that resides in your burned-out veins. You knew it would be painful, violent, and combustible. So you left. You left us." Sakura's emotions came to a high, as her voice hitched and her hands and shoulders shook. Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder as she struggled to keep control of all the feelings she kept down for the past 3 years. Now that she was face to face with Naruto, it was a lot harder not to break down. Naruto saw this all but he was somewhere far away. She didn't need to say more, for he knew. The memories of the things he did came rising and he almost puked. He knew what he did.

“You teleported yourself to a location you already had picked out when it was time.” Iruka's calm voice almost made Naruto come back to the present.

"You barricaded yourself in a cave formation and summoned a toad to seal you off from others as your body went through a vicious cycle of your chakra reserves eroded to nothing," Tsunade spoke up next.

"To protect us after protecting us! We could barely find you! I thought...I didn't know what to think!" That was the biggest outburst Sakura had thus far. But Kakashi was the one to wrap it all up.

"You went to go find Sasuke, who didn't want to fight in the war. It was too painful for him to see his family resurrected and you knew it. And after that, you went to go fight on the front lines, and with your shadow clones, it was like you were fighting 50 wars at once. You made a decision and went through with it. You should have died. But the only reason you didn't die a traumatic and painful death was because of your sage mode. It was still activated when you left, and it...preserved you to put it simply. Anyone's chakra nervous system would cause them to have a massive heart attack in such a state but, you kept natural energy coursing through you while also being in such a calm state, yours still beat as your charka misfired. In essence, you slowed what should have been a quick death into one that would span over the years, but, since it was coming out so slowly your chances of survival increased by some. Now that your chakra wasn't shooting out of you in great increments. So you did it. " Kakashi looked away. "Locked away all alone, as your body fought against you."

"We believe that the state of your....tenant helped you as well. Though we would have to examine you now to be sure of our hypothesis."

"Numerous Shinobi found out what you did, and some told us that there was a way to restore, or soothe someone's damaged Chakra nervous system. And Sasuke took that. You should have seen him. He stayed outside of your barrier and didn't move. And when he heard of a promising lead he took it, but not before getting you out, and bringing you home." The bitterest of all bitter smiles bloomed on Sakura's face. It was palpable.

“He left to go follow the lead, however small it may be. All Sasuke said was that he didn't want you to be in pain when you woke up. He wanted to help you.”

Naruto sat with static. It was just static, rising through his throat. In his veins, his brain. He could feel everything about himself. Like he was trying to leave his body but his skin wouldn't let him. He thrummed under it like a balloon. He looked down at himself, at his clothes and legs. His feet disappeared as he got bigger and rounder. His limbs contorted as he was blown full of air. Even with himself extending he still felt like he didn't have any room. He stretched and stretched as the air filling him pushed out all thoughts and feelings. There was nothing. Nothing. Empty pages and empty pages until...he popped.

Layers and layers of life fell onto him. He felt smaller now. He stared at nothing as it came back to him. The pieces of the war he just learned replaced the moments of the not world he came from, but still left a few out that nothing fit just right. A jigsaw puzzle with only the corner pieces attached. He inhaled,

ha

And exhaled.

He was still in the room. Those four were still around him. Nothing in the room changed like he thought it would in the back of his mind. A bubble of relief popped in his head. He looked down to the ground to see where the pieces of him went from when he exploded, but nothing was there. He thought he would see the old him, or the young him...Any other him, to be scattered about. But it was just a dark wood floor. Nothing on it.

He tried to sacrifice himself.

He remembered what he said. What he said to his loved ones before.

“A boy born as a human sacrifice will not feel the burden of another sacrifice.”

He said it out loud. Startling the others. He looked at Sakura's face, full of sadness. He hated being the cause of sadness. But,

"I don't feel regret. I don't feel sorry. To me, it was the right thing to do. The logical, thing to do." His past tried to step forward in his mind. He never talked about his experience as a Jinchuuriki. It felt like it would all tumble out.

“I won't regret it.”

“We know.” Iruka's soft voice came close to him. He was standing a little further in the door now. That didn't matter so much though. What mattered was the deep understanding that lay in his eyes. There was nothing under there besides it, maybe a little sadness and compassion.

“I know you did what you-what you knew was right, Naruto. I know you looked at all the suffering and deaths and knew you could do something so no one had to suffer anymore. I know...what you felt.” Tears were in the corner of Iruka's eyes and looking at those hazel gems Naruto felt all the exhaustion he was putting away hit him at once. His knees would have buckled then if he could move at all. He was heavy. His head stung.

"Right!" Tsunade clapped her hands together startling everyone. "That's enough for today. There were a lot of things said, and it wouldn't do to pile on more when we still haven't fully processed the rest. So I'm calling it for now!" She smiled and winked at Naruto and he mentally gave her a hug and a drink. Sakura's brow furrowed in protest though, and nobody really made a quick move to leave. Naruto realized they were waiting on him.

"Haa, yeah. I have a headache. I want to lay down for a bit." Iruka stepped forward, making the floorboards creak. Naruto looked down to where he was standing.

"Oh? Oh! Aha, oh sorry about that! I got caught up in the moment, haha!" He scratched the scar on his nose as he comically backed up out of the room quite quickly. He accidentally hit the side of the door and nearly knocked over the Hokage in his scramble, looking more and more flushed. Naruto bit back a smile as he watched Iruka hide his face in his hands and turn away while the others giggled.

"Alright, I'll leave you to rest, and by rest-please don't go running off," Tsunade said in a pleading voice, but still somehow threatening. "There is some medication in these drawers here, and some food and drink in that small fridge, I'll have someone bring you more. I'm giving you 12 hours of rest time before I came to check up on you, alright?"

Naruto nodded and everyone became more relaxed. Kakashi was the first to leave, bidding him a good night and he waited for Sakura, who made full eye contact with him, bowed, and followed suit. Iruka did the same, though instead of bowing he gave Naruto a big smile and awkward thumbs up. When he turned to leave Naruto saw that smile drop and turn into a sad expression. He didn't say anything. Tsunade was last. She opened her mouth before pausing and closing it.

"Hm, there is some headache medicine in the second drawer to the left end, and you know." She paused, looked around, and pulled a small container out of her chest. "This stuff right here works stronger, plus you can still drink alcohol with it nooo problem~" She closed her eyes to smile and at that moment Naruto strode forwards, grabbed her shoulders, and put his forehead against hers. There was a gasp, and Naruto felt her begin to tremble, so he pushed his head on hers harder and slowly moved in back and forth. He stayed like that, thinking if he remembers animals doing anything else to comfort each other, before remembering all the times he shared with this person. He took a deep breath, contemplating before Tsunade pulled back, placed a quick kiss on his forehead, and put the pills in his hand. She was gone then. Walking fast down the hallway, not looking back.

Chapter Text

Naruto lay in the hospital bed in silence, though he didn't know if a hospital bed is what you would call it. He has been in the hospital many times in his life but, this room was different. When he settled in he felt how soft the mattress was and how it curved around his body. The pillow was more delicate than any pillow he has ever had. Naruto glanced at the plaid wool blanket at the foot of the bed though, and debated moving it to the chair.

"It's so hot."

The bed was definitely the best bed he had ever laid on, but he couldn't enjoy it to its fullest. The humidity in the room has gotten unbearable in the quiet hours he had settled in. The gentle touch of the bed would have swept him away into a deep slumber but now the very heat of it on his back was far too uncomfortable. Naruto wanted to stretch his legs out, but touching the blanket on the bottom was too much at the moment. He was left in bed, desperately chasing the wind from the overhead fan.

'I can't sleep.'

The crochet of crickets outside and shrill of the evening cicadas sung the song of the night. When Naruto shut his eyes, the sounds seemed to echo and get louder to the point that the occasional clink of the fan began to grate on the nerves.

"Nn, my head!" Naruto cried out in solitude.

But it wasn't even just his head, everything hurt! His head, his body, his flesh, and very bones. The stump that was all that was left of his arm burned and chilled at the same time, weighing more than the rest of him combined. The loss was as massive as a coffin. Naruto was stuck in bed, too in pain and heavy to get up. His knees swayed side to side in a fruitless way to keep them cool. Everything was too still. Naruto ignored the wetness in the corner of his eyes and tried to take in more of his room. However everything was building like a climax, and every little thing was becoming too much. Even the dim light up above scorched like a sun. Naruto threw an arm over his eyes and sucked in some shaky breathes, trying to calm himself. He hated this feeling, of being in pain with no physical wound. Naruto tapped into the meditation technique he learned from Sage mode and hoped deeply that it would work in place of the medicine he was given that he couldn't reach at the moment. Thanking whatever that could hear when it started working, and the sounds of the world faded like a radio being turned down. Everything turned dead silent. He knew immediately he shouldn't have done that. It felt like he could hear the earth itself breathe. Naruto closed his eyes tight, knowing just exactly why it was deafening.

"Kurama?"

The name came out in a whispered hush with a tone of knowing no one would answer. The great fox demon inside of him, wasn't awake. He wasn't there. A small bitter bubble of a laugh came up in his throat at the true shot of irony of the situation. The fox demon sealed inside of him as a human sacrifice left him alone in his life, but at the same time, was the only thing there with him. The only constant by his side, and Naruto only came to notice it when Kurama was exhausted into a deep terrible sleep. It was like hearing how silent a house was when the furnace turned off and you realized how much white noise it created in the background. The sound of Kurama was like a quiet rumble, like someone else's breathing right after his own and the more distraught he was the more it heightened into after the battle ended, and the ringing in his ears settled down like a storm lingering away.

It was an almost funny thought, what people would think if he said that he missed that fox so damn much. They might lock him up for alluding to feeling so many emotions for a demon like that.

'Kurama...that guy. He always stole my body heat leaving me cold at all times, and now that he isn't awake I feel too damn hot. It's suffocating... it hurts. It's painful-'

"It's painful-being this alone."

The small voice cracked in the night. He wished that there was someone here, that the fox was still awake so he could take away the pain he felt. To heal a part of him he couldn't identify. Just to have someone there. Naruto bit his lip hard as a couple of tears fell out, he wouldn't be surprised if his hot skin evaporated them before they could roll down his face.

"Kurama, you helped me save the people I cared about, even though you hated them. Please, please wake up soon so I can thank you." Naruto clutched his stomach as he spoke, hoping beyond hope that his words would get through somehow.

A soft tapping on the window echoed loud in the quiet night making him flinch. Naruto looked to see a silhouette outside, one with a ponytail that he knew all too well.

"Naruto? Are-are you still awake?" It was Iruka back again. He sounded out of breath and nervous as he stuttered without thinking about it. The shadow moved. "I brought Ichiraku ramen if you want? Can I...come in?"

Naruto struggled against the agony overlaying his body and the heavy ache in his head.

"No."

He would love to see Iruka right now but, a lot was going on in his mind right now. He was also afraid...what if Iruka wasn't who he thought he was exactly. Did he really know the man outside the window? To his relief, the other didn't sound mad.

"That's alright, I'll just leave this here for you to eat when you're ready!"

Naruto could practically see Iruka's smile when he held up the bag of food for him to see and something inside him rippled. Naruto tore himself out of bed and was upon the only thing dividing them. The noise of the chair clattering when he dug his knee into it made both of them freeze. Gently, with oh so carefully hands, Naruto turned up the lock and eased open the window a tiny crack, just enough for the food to be able to be put in. A cold wind blew in the open window and it all but slapped him across the face. For a second he had fear grip his heart of who was on the other side. Which Iruka would it be? What...world is he in?

That question followed him like a casket. Is this place a dream as well? What if this Iruka was just a dream Iruka. What if the other world- what if...

'I don't want to get close to anything here, no matter how great it seems. What will I do if it is ripped away just like the last one.'

Iruka, not knowing how deep the inner turmoil the other was experiencing, lifted the bag into the window to drop it on the desk below it. He chimed a soft 'there you go' and Naruto studied his hand. It was tan, with a couple of scars from teaching inexperienced children how to throw Kunai. It looked like he was chewing his nails again, something he only did when something was really haunting his mind. The was barely anything left on his thumbnail. Naruto's eyes unfocused as an afterimage of that hand at different times overlapped. From wearing a suit for a wedding, to patting Naruto's head, to reaching out to catch something. The hand, in the present, began to let go of the bag. Naruto felt panic for some reason and before Iruka could retract completely, Naruto grabbed onto his sleeve and held it in his touch. He rubbed the fabric with his thumb, staring hard at the dark blue, coarse material. Iruka didn't move, probably didn't expect him to do that. Well, Naruto wasn't expecting to do that either. But he couldn't hide from his instincts, the instincts to seek comfort in the first person to call out to him as a child. The first person to go out of their way to comfort him when he needed it. The first to see him as a human.

No thoughts traveled in his head as Naruto's hand drifted downwards to Iruka's skin, cool from the night air. It may not be a big deal to most, but physical contact always seemed intimate and dear to him, even just holding hands with someone. It made his heart race and his stomach flutter. It didn't happen often, or even sometimes, to touch someone's skin and it not be in a fight.

The Not-World flashed behind blue eyes as Naruto realized he couldn't recall ever being touched or delicately touching Hinata, or at all. Even though she was his...wife. Naruto worried his bottom lip and to run from the thoughts, he leaned his head down and touched his forehead on the back of Iruka's hand. It was cold, a lot colder than his shirt. It felt so nice against heated skin that Naruto let out a content sigh, the soft touch all he needed to focus on.

'I wonder if I'm weak to soft and kind touches. Too bad I never experienced them frequently enough to know.'

Iruka's knuckles extended and prodded his forehead as, ever so slowly, the finger wrapped lightly around his own that was still holding the hand. The hand, the fingers, every touch, swipe, or pet they ever gave him filled Naruto with a different kind of warmth. Something that settled high in his chest and made him a little light-headed. Closing his eyes again Naruto counted and recounted the fingers wrapped around his hand. The world didn't seem so big and the noises so loud at the moment. He wasn't high away and out of his body anymore, but inside the body of his, sitting in a chair, letting the steam and scent of fresh ramen drift up towards him. It was the most bliss he felt in a long long while.

He could have stayed like that, but prolonged human contact made him uneasy, so Naruto made a move to carefully let Iruka go, only for it to be Iruka's turn to clutch back on and speak in a shaky but comforting voice.

"I'm so glad you are back Naruto. I...don't ever want to lose you again. Not if I can do something about it. Not if I can do things differently."

The deep certainty in his voice prevented Naruto from saying anything back. He just watched silently as Iruka retracted completely and bid him a final 'good night' and leave in an instant. Disturbing some leaves on the ground with the speed of his jump. Naruto waited a moment before opening the door fully and taking out the food from the bag. The ramen tasted good, and if a tear slipped into the bowl the broth would be too salty to tell. Besides that, Naruto would be the only one to know, as the leaves and the moon were his only companion.

–

'Why don't you wake up?'

'Please don't do this!'

'I'm HeRe'

–

"Ah!" Naruto jolted awake from the weird and disturbing dream, filled with memories he was having. Just a little bit too realistic that the fog didn't leave his mind right away and a headache persisted in his frontal lobe. His legs hurt. Looking down he came to realize that he fell asleep curled up on the chair he was eating in instead of the bed. Naruto unstuck his skin from the wood and stretched his legs out, hearing and feeling them crack and pop.

"~mmmmm ahh. Man, I finally get to sleep only to have dreams that made me feel like I never slept at all." Naruto pouted a little, still feeling insanely groggy. He went to check the time, thinking that the tiredness in his body meant he only slept four hours or so. But checking the time he actually slept for ten hours. Naruto sucked in a breath.

"She'll be back in two hours then, huh?" Glancing out the window he thought of what Tsunade said. As he watched, it seemed like the whole wall seemed to expand and grow bigger as he was rooted to the spot. The window enlarged to look more like an open door and Naruto, had a very brief thought of simply running off into the woods, where he would wait until he felt like he sorted things out, surrounded by trees and not people. He looked down to the floor, which appeared to stretch at his very feet.

Running away felt like a good idea, it made him even feel a little safe, but, he couldn't do that. Not with Tsunade's pained and pleading eyes haunting his vision. He had to stay, for now.

The room was starting to make him feel nauseous so Naruto stumbled his way to the door, feeling like the floor was going to rip out from underneath him at any second. He stepped down the little dip and stood barefoot in the wet dewy grass. A long bird call made him look up in time to see the shadows move off the all too familiar faces on the mountain. The Hokage Monument, without him on it. It felt all too strange, especially with vivid memories of standing on his own stone head overlooking the village he ruled.

"Or-" with a sickening start, "did I ever really rule it?"

Naruto closed his eyes as he painfully tried to remember any of the paperwork he seemed to be stuck with at all times. The image of him standing in the office still felt fresh but whenever he tried to focus on the lines of any of the papers he had it was all blurry. He couldn't recall reading a damn thing. Like his actions in the Not-World were just automatic. The other him missed his own child's birthday for paperwork and he couldn't even remember why. Naruto opened his eyes under the intense gaze of all the Hokages looking down on him.

"Is this place...really my home? Did I...dream everything or did I go back in time? Is this place even real? The people act so differently here-"

'But I acted differently there.'

Self-loathing started to fill him up like water in a jug. Naruto thought of all the things he did wrong now that he could look back on it all. Just how much of an awful person was he? His own son hated him, and that hurt Naruto deeply. He took a deep breath and dug his nails into his stump of an arm, feeling like tears were coming on. He was so alone, so tired of being pushed away, he just wanted to belong somewhere. And he did that to what he thought was his family. Ignore them so often-just like he was ignored-to the point that his kids, a piece of him, were upset with him. The self-loathing filled to the very top of his body and a cork was put in, insuring that this feeling would never spill out, never leave him. He wouldn't forgive himself for his actions, or lack thereof.

Not wanting any tears to fall Naruto looked back up into the gazes of stone. He thought about his dream, and how he achieved it. Being the Hokage was his dream for a very very long time, and anyone who ran into him knew of it since he shouted his intentions any chance he got, as if saying it enough would will it into reality. It was strange though, that not many people asked why or even, what he was going to do once he achieved it. Naruto's eyes strayed over to the Third Hokage.

He remembered the moment he got his dream, standing in the old man Hokage's office after he got into a fight with a Chuunin. The adult passed him when he was wandering the streets after getting yelled at by a street vendor for just existing to close near his cart. Little Naruto tried hard to curl in himself, and try not to take up too much space so people wouldn't yell at him. That's when the Chunnin dropped down to where Naruto was at from the rooftops not noticing him. The second their gazes met hatred filled the older man's face. Such unbridled disgust that Naruto snapped and entrapped the guy's legs with his arms, demanding why he was looking at him in such a way. The whole thing didn't go well and Naruto ended up in the Hokage's office with a beat-up face and a few sniffles.

The old man Hokage gazed at him with a long tired look that he always seemed to have when Naruto was around-so painful to be the recipient of he might have traded it for those hated looks instead, before turning to the window.

"You see all these people, Naruto?'"his voice old, gravelly from smoking and stress, a lot different from the booming voice of a leader he normally wears. This change did not comfort Naruto.

"Yes?" 

"I am their leader. No matter what happens, big or small, they want to come to me for guidance and protection. Many people will view the leader of their village as a stable guardian, and will ask for their view and advice for a variety of reasons. From war and enemies, to where would be the best place to set up stalls for festivals. A leader's people will ask about anything, as they view them as a light in the dark. However, not many ask how a leader views their people. All these people, Naruto-" he pointed a long boney finger straight ahead to the window, "-Everyone, from children to adults, civilians and the fine Shinobi that protect them, they are all...my family. I care about them all deeply, and see them as my children and I, their parent. And sometimes I need to make decisions that will seem hurtful and unfair but are actually the best choice. After all, I don't want to see my children suffer. Do you understand this, Naruto? Do you understand that we are all family."

Closing his eyes from the memory of the old Hokage turning to face him, Naruto plonked his head against the door frame as a bitter feeling lingered on his tongue. Back then, he didn't understand it at all. To him, it sounded like the old man was sticking up for the Chuunin that got into a fight with him. Calling that guy his family. The old man didn't seem to understand or notice just how much he was hurt. He didn't hear what that guy said, how he called Naruto a 'fucking fox in human skin.' This was around the time that Naruto started to view the old man differently, didn't keep him up on the pedestal that everyone else had him on. Instead of the nation famed warrior who lived a thousand wars, Naruto saw him as an old, bitter-looking man who longed to move on into the afterlife. Brittle bones wrapped around a steel heart.

But Naruto did get an idea, back then. He thought that if he became Hokage people would start to see him differently. They would look at him like family and come to like him, maybe even love him. And Naruto would be able to say he has a family as well, and what better a family than a whole village. Countless people who ignored or hated him would be forced to acknowledge him. He would become the Hokage, and people would treat him better, like him more. And no one, nowhere would ever dare to look at a Kage with hatred or disgust in their eyes. They would look at him like they look at the old man, and that thought sent Naruto's soul flying.

Leaning his head back more a small chuckle escaped his throat at the absurdity of it all. That was just the beginning, and his reason for becoming Hokage evolved and adapted over time as he found out more about the horrors that lived inside the walls he was encaged in. Naruto, at some point, eventually accepted the fact that the villagers would most likely never view him as family, even if he did become Hokage, and he accepted that a long time ago. Though...

'If it came down to a choice, between becoming a leader or gaining a family, of course, I would pick having a family.'

Naruto turned back into the room away from the sunlight. It wouldn't do to be in a foul mood when Tsunade came back, least she asks questions, so he decided he would busy himself away from his thoughts until then. Naruto was going to explore every nook and cranny of the place in his room.

"Well, I guess it really is my room now, since I claimed it in front of everybody." Naruto cringed and for the first time thanked his lack of arm, fore he smack himself in the face.

Starting with the back left corner behind the folding screen, Naruto found a closet he didn't notice before tucked into the wall. Walking in, he saw just how spacious it really was. There was a wall full of clothing hanging up on one wall and shelved upon shelves of folded clothing on the other. Near the back wall was a Kimono Hanger with a detailed kimono displaying beautiful koi fish on it. It looked fancy and well-tailored. In the folden piled there was a great assortment of tops and bottoms ranging from different styles. From coarse material to fine silk. Going over to the hanging sections Naruto found numerous dresses, Yutaka, and more kimono and Haori. What was most interesting, Naruto thought as he approached the kimono hanger, is that all these clothes seemed to be around his size, like they were made for him. He wondered what they were all here for. Maybe for any injured person who comes here with destroyed clothes. Before walking out, Naruto tried to open a small sliding door in the back but found it locked, so he went over to the medical cabinet outside the closet.

Beside the cabinet, there was a small fridge with a few bottles of water and can tea, but not much food. In one of the cabinets, he found more bottles of water as well as a change of hospital clothes, bandages, and medical equipment. Naruto hasn't found the bathroom yet, if there was one, and became confused before remembering.

'Ahhh that's right, there is a long hallway outside the door here. Maybe the bathroom will be in a different room? Might as well check.'

Enjoying his little exploration distraction Naruto went to the door and flung it open. On the other side was Tsunade, hand posed as if to knock on the very door he opened. Both parties froze in shock, until worry and a bit of sadness filled Tsunade's eyes.

"Were you...going somewhere?" Her voice didn't sound right as she looked to his feet and back up to his eyes. It took Naruto a second before it connected that the reason for this expression was that she probably thought he was trying to leave and run off again.

"No, not really. I was waiting for you, but I was looking for the bathroom...ya know?" The upset expression was hitting him too hard in the heart that he became a little nervous. He didn't want to see her make such a face. Telling the truth was the right answer as she brightened up quickly.

"Ah, that's where you were going! Yeah yeah, sorry I forgot to mention it kiddo!" She was practically beaming like the sun now and for a second her body moves as if she wanted to pat me on my shoulder but restrained herself.

"It's just down the hall, here I'll show you the rest of it." She gave another sunny smile and took a step back, waiting for the other's cues. Naruto looked at the floor in debate before taking one small step out, before making to follow. Both their footsteps were relatively quiet as they walked save for the occasional creaky floorboard. Going outside of his room into the hall, Naruto stopped in awe at the hall filled with windows. Outside were many big and round trees alleviating any concerns that someone could peek through. Standing there looking at, made him feel small. Naruto followed a warbler that was flying low with his eyes before looking back up to see Tsunade watching him at the end of the hall, a quiet look on her face. She was the one to turn her gaze away first.

"Right here is the bathroom!" She opened the door as Naruto approached and he peeked in. A nice bathroom was inside, a good side basin and mirror were to the left, and a little door hiding the toilet. What caught his attention the most though was another door on the left near the back. Naruto walked in, feeling immediately that the bathroom floor was a few degrees colder than the outside, and slid the other door open. His eyes widen when the secret room revealed a huge wooden bathtub inside. It was decorated with flowers and vines and numerous soaps, shampoos, lotions, and candles. The room it was in had a light that didn't need to be on, as the skylight above brought in tons of natural light. There was another folding screen in there, painted like a forest lake scene with fireflies and tall grass, and decorated with little charms that looked like stars and rain. Behind the folding screen was another giant window looking to a similar dense forest as the other side.

It was all so terribly serene. It was beautiful. With careful steps, Naruto walked over to the low ledge of the empty bath and stepped inside. He laid down flat on his back and looked up to the skylight, watching the clouds move by, casting playful shadows everywhere in the room. Naruto felt a yearning feeling in his heart, as he wished it was nighttime so he could see the view then.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Tsunade kneel down and smile at him from the edge. Her breast, resting on top of the wood, looked as massive as they did when he was a kid and tried to look up at her. The memory begged a smile out of him.

"You like it, kid?" She spoke in a soft voice.

"Yeah, I really like it." His eyes fluttered close as his arm felt up the bottom of the bath, loving the feel of it.

"Good, I can tell. I wanted it to be something that would blow you away when you saw it."

"I didn't know you knew I liked baths so much." Naruto spoke thinking of how true that statement was. Nothing could beat bathing in a nice lake, or so he thought. This bath may just prove him wrong.

What he said seemed to impact Tsunade though, as her expression pinched and she looked away. Something deep in her eyes, so deep it could drown him. But she smoothed herself over, years of not letting people see the Hokage's personal feeling take over. She looked into his eyes again.

"It's a different sight you know?" She asked.

"What is, laying in a giant bath in a hospital kimono?" She laughed as she offered a hand for him to sit back straight up.

"No not that! You know, Naruto. You have such a big impact on the people who cross your path. You have big dreams, a big personality. Huge appetite, and a big heart. With all these 'big' things, when people hear your name I bet they think your appearance should be of a huge guy!" She lifted her hand to emphasize just how huge she meant.

"I think, in my mind, I also got used to the big things that sometimes when I see you in person it's a little strange, just how small and thin you really are." She inspected his hand, which was still in hers helping him out. Naruto took a small glance and compared the two of them, noting that his hand was smaller than hers. He didn't really know what to say here.

"So, you're telling me that people expect me to be a big huge fat guy then?" Her smile never left.

"Maybe just a little, but I don't think they are expecting someone who is around 158 cm either."

Naruto shot the joyful woman a look and opened his mouth to correct her. To say that he finally hit a growth spurt and grew to 180cm. But then he turned and looked up at her. Looked up, because he wasn't that height...not anymore. It was almost funny at the moment. How his insecurity with his height was so strong it manifested into the Not-World where he had such a drastic height increase.

"It's not my fault I stopped growing a long time ago." He said instead, turning around and admiring the painted scene. He was glad the door was still open, otherwise having Tsunade or anyone standing so close to him might have upset him some.

"That's right, it is not your fault, at all." Tsunade said affirmatively, walking in front of him and opening another door on the other side. Naruto cooly brushed off the slight cryptic statement and followed into the closet he was in earlier, realizing that it all looped back to his room.

"Here we are! I guess you already know about the closet by now, though it also doubles as a changing room." Naruto brushed past her, giving her a wide birth, and walked back to his room. When he turned around Tsunade was still in place, not making a single move to enter inside his space without permission. It twisted something in his chest, but he was entirely grateful. Naruto thought about allowing her in but, after standing so close through the tour he decided he didn't want any outside present to permeate in the room. It must have shone on his face somehow, as she turned around and made the long way back to the hallway, where Naruto waited for her. She kept her distance still, giving him much-needed space. Naruto walked back out, the sun shining in his eyes, blinding him a little. The sun made him think of the stone monument, and a question burned at his throat.

"Are you still...the Hokage?"

The smile left her face as she gave him a small questioning look. Naruto took a few steps forward, almost wanting to reach out to her and demand the answer. His gaze bounced from her, the floor, the wall, to the window.

'What if she isn't the Hokage? Who would it be, Kakashi? Someone else? Would she even give the position up after everything she has been through? What if it's something else entirely. What if the one ruling the village is...someone bad? Everyone has been too nice to me, what if the leader is someone who hates Jinchuuriki and everyone is hiding it from me?

His thoughts spiraled out of control quickly as Naruto thought of all the possibilities there could be. Of who could be in charge of the village. Of what his world really was. The hallway stretched before him again, putting Tsunade and him miles apart and the door to his room too far away.

'What if everyone being so gentle with me is an omen? What if something happened during the war. What if it was me, what if I accidentally killed a Kage, and I'm awaiting trial here. Those guys who say they are my friends may just be so nice because they know my end is near. Or...maybe there isn't a Hokage at all. Maybe, this is all a dream and I haven't thought of one yet.'

The air around Naruto began to pop in distress, making a high hissing noise like a snake ready to strike. He was a million miles away right now, but he was forced back in his body by the sound of Tsunade's voice.

"Yes, I am still the Hokage of Konohagakure, even after the war. I haven't thought about quitting the position, really."

Naruto's unfocused eyes tried to train on her. She was shifting from side to side a little. Naruto couldn't look at those eyes so instead and focused on her hair.

"Don't get me wrong, I was asked that question, but I thought it wouldn't be a great idea or a fair thing to leave the village without a leader when it was still recovering. And recovering from war takes more than a couple of years. Having the same face to look at instead of coping with a new change of hands can be comforting, is what I thought."

Naruto closed his eyes, letting the words wash over him. Tsunade was still the leader of the village. She kept her position.

"I see...That's good...I'm glad." Naruto made eye contact as he said the last part. She smiled.

"When the going get's tough, you need to listen to your heart, and stand for others. That's what you taught me."

Naruto, as if his limbs were new, made a quick line for the fridge in his room for some water. Not bothering to acknowledge the last sentence. He held out one without looking at her before tossing it. She played with the cap as she leaned against the door.

"How are you feeling today, kiddo?"

The question threw him for a second, as he didn't even ask himself that since he woke up. A very very typical 'I'm fine' pushed at his throat. But the thought of knowing she would see through it, and having to play that dance as she tried to figure out what was really going on made him incredibly tired. So he went with a shorter answer.

"Headache comes and goes. Haven't really thought about anything else." He caught her giving him a once over with her eyes.

"You really want to give me a physical check, don't you?"

"Eh?" Shocked spread before she sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck.

'Being that shocked is a little uncalled for ya know.'

"Well yes, of course, I do, but in this-ahem-what I mean is that I want to respect your boundaries no matter what. I do hope you'll let me, but I'll wait until you're more content" she said, before turning more serious, "what is most important right now, is your mental health."

Naruto tilted his head. Mental health? He knew about stuff like that, but next to nothing about his own.

"How do you even fix something, like mental health." He muttered to himself, turning to watch the leaves fall by the window. The question of what season it was bounced in his mind.

"Well, I do want to discuss more with you, but I thought that there was someone who knew more and would be a better fit for the job. I have them here with me, if you are accepting?" Tsunade turned her body away a little, waiting for his response. Naruto twitched at the thought of someone else being him. Anxiety clawed at his body before he turned to face her again.

"Show me." The authoritarian tone changed the atmosphere. Tsunade gave a sharp nod before motioning someone in the hallway.

'They're already this close?'

There was a couple of soft footsteps. Clouds overhead blocked out the sun, dimming the room to a noticeable degree. When they slid out of the way, there standing the door in full view was Shikamaru.

He looked just like he did when he was younger. In some matters, less tired around the eyes, and he didn't have any facial hair. He was holding a few things in his arms and when Naruto traveled up to his face he was taken aback by the intense gaze resting solely on him. Shikamaru had a deep look on his face as he shifted his gaze to different points all over Naruto's self, going down to up, resting on his hair, and then settling on his eyes again. Naruto tensed, but then thought about who the guy was. Shikamaru, his trusted advisor. His friend who has looked out for him for a long time. Someone that doesn't judge and someone whose appearance change wasn't drastic enough to send Naruto for a spiral loop. Naruto felt a calmness he would always feel whenever Shikamaru would come and help Naruto out whenever he was having trouble. He could always count on him to fix things. To help him.

With a calm feeling in his chest, Naruto gestured the other inside.

Chapter Text

Naruto gazed at Shikamaru and for the first time, the layers of another person didn't appear before his eyes. The shadow that Shikamaru cast onto the wall behind him flickered something fierce but the person in front of him remained the same. Naruto brought his gaze up to Shikamaru's eyes where they were held evenly for three seconds in real time but like seven years in feeling. Naruto's breath was stolen away at the sight of the sharp penetrating gaze that seemed to fly right through him, into his very soul and core and back out. Unconsciously Naruto's hand groped at his chest in an undeliberate attempt for his brain to check if his hand would go through his very flesh and bone, given how exposed he felt being studied at like this. But his hand hit his solid mass, and Shikamaru looked away from his eyes at the count of 3.

"Yo, Naruto!" Shikamaru smiled and easily hid his talon-like eyes away from view, changing from a terrifying battle tactician to an easy-going schoolboy in a blink of an eye. Shikamaru sunk his broad chest in and hunched over his wide shoulders, effortlessly losing a few feet from his impressive height and erasing away the intimidation it could cause for some. Add with the almost dopey smile on his face, Shikamaru would always quickly put Naruto's instincts at ease as not many would be on guard with some lazy looking guy who couldn't be bothered. It worked in the past, and god somewhere inside of him Naruto wished it worked now, but it couldn't. Shikamaru couldn't hide behind that mask of his at this point. Naruto lived too long, has seen too many things whether they were real or not. Shikamaru's eyes may be that of a falcon, bright and brown, and piercing, but at this moment in time, he would have to counter Naruto's own, weary and always watching eyes. Shikamaru's eyes could pin someone down to the ground; to have their soul overtaken with moss and their body buried down, but Naruto's were a deep whirling sea swirling, taking in and swallowing everything it catches. No sailor nor soldier can ever hope to escape the whirlpool so vicious it shook the lighthouse sitting far up above. The shadow user before him may have trouble finding a steady patch of land in the sunless bottom of ocean eyes.

Naruto stared, and just as before it was just Shikamaru standing in the doorway. No other version of him, nothing of innate change. He still held in him the air that Naruto was the most comfortable with, and it was hard to see him differently. He was Naruto's trusted advisor. A friend when he didn't have any. Someone who, not once, put Naruto down even when Naruto was being his most annoying self. Shikamaru accepted him, something his own teammates way back when couldn't do, and even if Naruto wanted to be on edge, wanted to watch Shikamaru from the corner of his room like a caged beast looking down on potential prey, he couldn't do it. His body reacted to the Shikamaru he knew he could always ask for assistance when needed. Naruto hated asking Shikamaru for help in the past, as he was afraid he might one day drive Shikamaru away, but whenever he did ask for help he knew he could definitely rely on the other. And what a wonderful feeling it was, to be able to rely on someone to take care of something. To know whatever was bothering him would be dealt with. To know he was safe. All that was what Shikamaru encompassed.

Naruto brought his hand up and delicately waved Shikamaru inside. Tsunade looked at the other with wide and happy eyes as Shikamaru took a confident but slow step inside the fox's den.

"I'll be around then," Tsunade said, and both boys looked to her in the doorway. She looked wistful. Hope in her eyes shone. Tsunade gave a long, long look at Shikamaru like she was conveying something important through glance alone. Then when she turned to Naruto it changed into something softer. Naruto felt that he may have preferred the look she gave Shikamaru instead of something with such raw emotion.

"I'm going to go get you some more drinks and food, is there anything else you need?" She inquired. Naruto's hand twitched at the question. He walked over to the closet and dug out his little frog wallet and found when searching the place that he hid under some cloth. Naruto brought it over to Tsunade and handed it to her.

"If you see anything called orange rose tea, can you get that too please?" Naruto knew how much he had stored in his little wallet friend, though he was worried about his funds for the future, given that he also didn't know how much it cost for him to stay in this nice room, but he was hoping Tsunade did stumble across the drink he mentioned. He drank it occasionally as a child but it was saved for special occasions given how expensive it was to him. The taste though was incredible and the aroma sometimes filtered in his dreams reminding him of happy times.

Tsunade blinked twice, and carefully turned the frog pouch in her hand like it was some other-worldly thing. Her bewildered face came back up to look at Naruto's...and then she burst out laughing.

"Ni-Hahahaha!" She clutched her stomach and shook with the force of her laughter. This was the hardest Naruto has ever seen her laugh. Even more then that time Jiraiya slipped crotch first into a pole when he was leering at some women in a snowy stroll through the village. Naruto kept his face even but took a couple of steps back.

"What are you laughing at exactly?" Tsunade shook her head and made a big damn show of pulling herself back up. Her grin wide with mirth.

"Oya Oya, just what do you take me for!" She juggled the wallet in her hand.

"Like I would make a three-year coma patient spend their own money on essentials! Especially a drink, a nonalcoholic drink! This has to be one of the most hilarious things that anyone has ever done, ya know most people would be milking free things for days, even weeks!" She tossed it back for Naruto to catch. He looked down at his worn buddy.

"I think most people would know that I am not like most people." The sentence slipped out. A water snake that held more meaning. Tsunade didn't waiver.

"Yea, yea, and that's what makes you so great! Say, why don't you just forget about money until I tell you differently, okay? Brat." She leaned in the doorway, hands on her hips. Her eyes were swimming with happiness and her excitement didn't let him get another word in.

"Orange rose tea hmm? I'll see what I can find. I'll be back in a bit, if you think of anything else let Shikamaru know and he'll contact me alright? Behave yourselves, boys!" She turned on heel and walked away, light blonde hair flying. Naruto watched her go, feeling light in the chest at seeing her so happy before turning to the quiet person who has been watching him intently out of the corner of his eye this entire time. It was a little funny to see the stone observer quickly turn to laid back Shika when he noticed Naruto turning his gaze. Naruto walked past Shikamaru to one of the chairs under the window and took a seat. He was hoping that Shikamaru would pick up the conversation, as Naruto had too many questions to pick one out to say and start them off. Shikamaru did not disappoint.

"How are you liking this room so far?" he asked as he took the other chair. A small table being the only thing between them. Naruto brought his legs up, tucking one underneath and the other up so he could rest his head on it and curl into himself.

"This has to be one of the best rooms I've ever stayed in," he answered bluntly, which Shikamaru seemed to like.

"Yeahhh, it is nice in here. Seems like a good place to take a nap in." Naruto hummed at that statement that solidified the idea that Shikamaru hadn't changed.

"It's nice to be in such a comfy place, especially if you don't know what all has changed outside of it." Shikamaru shifted and moved his leg to rest in a similar position as Naruto's own.

"It's really good to see you awake again, Naruto." he breathed out. Warm gaze shining in the sunlight coming in.

"So I've been told." Naruto decided to rest his head in a position facing Shikamaru instead of the wall in front of them making it all more personal.

"I'm still getting the hang of things though, who knows, this place might just become my permanent home." Naruto gave a small tired smile that he didn't have the energy to keep up. He finally took in the books Shikamaru had brought in with him. Naruto didn't take in the names all that much but had a gist of what it was for.

"Those must be books about people's psych and mental being, right?" Shikamaru looked a bit surprised.

"Umm, yea, yes they are. I was just reading up on them..." The shadow user halted, trying to pick the right words to say next. Naruto chose to cut him some slack.

"Because Obaa-chan told you how weird I was being since I woke up and asked if there was anything you could do." Naruto followed his statement smoothly. Shikamaru's eyes widen so much that Naruto could see the gold flecks in them. He almost looked away, since the sun was making them a little too bright. He heard the breath that escaped Shikamaru's throat and watched his throat as he swallowed.

"Yes." Shikamaru continued. "You're right, though partially. The Hokage did tell me that you woke up and were having some trouble, but she didn't really go into many specifications...:" There was a lot of unsaid words in the air, Naruto noticed.

"I do have some psychological books with me, but I brought them to lend to you if you wanted something to read. The other things I brought were a blank book to write in, and my own gatherings on the war and what happened strictly with the leaf shinobi."

Naruto watched Shikamaru's long hands and fingers pick out a leather book and gently push it towards him. He debated for a moment before taking it. It was dark green, and had twisting patterns carved into the face of it. The spine of the book was bound with a cord that crisscrossed over itself. Naruto felt the little lock mechanism keeping the book closed, feeling the coldness of the metallic. It was a wonderfully made book. When he undid the lock and open the book the smell of parchment paper all but erupted from within. Beautiful, white, and empty paper lined the inside. Naruto sat up as a need to draw flooded him. He wanted to draw in it. He wanted to write! Nobody knew, not a single soul in the world knew, but Naruto loved to write things. He liked to write down stories he thought of, of legends he heard while traveling. Sometimes a story would wake him up in the middle of the night and he had to urgently write down what he thought, resulting in numerous torn out pages to scatter his room filled with excited thoughts and emotions. Naruto even, as a kid, would write down good things that happened to him, compliments that were given to him so he could go back and read them, again and again, to remind himself that it wasn't all bad. It was all horrible. Stories, tales, thoughts, there were even letters! Naruto didn't have many to write letters to, but he did write to Gaara a lot, and that brought him joy. Sitting at a desk, careful writing the words he wanted to say, sealing envelopes with wax. It was all so...lovely. Seeing all these empty pages made him want to gather his little stationery set and write down so many things going through his mind.

"What is this for?" Naruto asked with a hoarse voice. One that sounded like the scratch of pen on paper. He didn't know what was wanted of him. The other did say he brought a book to write in, but of what exactly? Did he have to write...about the Not-World? Shikamaru leaned over just like Naruto was and spoke closer to him. His voice lowering as he leaned.

"I thought you would like something to write in..." Naruto turned his eyes back down on the carefully well made book. A hand entered his vision, gently holding a pen.

"It's for you, to do whatever you like with. I hope you like it." Each word of Shikamaru's left a lingering sensation of a thousand unspoken things. A trail as if he was trying to lead Naruto into something that neither one knew if he was ready for. Naruto took the pen and leaned back, Shikamaru following suit.

"Thank you." Naruto hugged the book to his chest and brought his knees up to enclose it to his chest. He could feel the weight of it on his chest every time he breathed out. Of course Shikamaru didn't want him to write about the Not-World. He didn't even know of it. Naruto didn't have to speak of it out loud. With lidden eyes, Naruto felt warmth at his gift.

'I'll cherish it. I'll cherish this forever.'

He looked back over to Shikamaru, who was all but turned completely in his seat to face Naruto. His hands were pressed together like a pyramid over his mouth. His gaze profound as more thoughts than Naruto could ever hope to know ran in his mind. Naruto couldn't bear to look directly in those eyes, so he took this chance to again trace the other's face. For some reason, in his mind, and in the Not-World Shikamaru's eyes always seemed to be droopy. But now that he had a chance to really gaze at him, he could see just how incredibly sharp and narrow they were. They were quite intimidating. Naruto thought about how wrong he got the eye shape. Here Shikamaru was, giving him a gift, and all the time and helped Naruto in the past and Naruto couldn't even remember what his eyes looked like.

'What kind of friend am I?' Naruto thought bitterly. Pain welling in his chest.

'Just how awful of a person am I really?' In a flash Naruto uncurled himself. His knee hit the top of the small table with a dull thud as he loamed over Shikamaru on the other side. He grabbed the other's very much shocked face without a word and brought it close to his own. Naruto took in everything, burning the sight in his mind's eye and very being, defying anything to make him forget the view. This close he saw all the gold and rich brown buried in Shikamaru's eyes. Those eyes that always appear dark and half-opened actually hid such a beautiful color. His hair as well, dark brown with light brown streaks trailing through like forest paths held together by a very dark green tie. The very tips of his hair, sticking out of the ponytail, held a touch of a light blond tint that would be impossible to see in the dark. Shikamaru had a couple of freckles tracing across his forehead and Naruto rubbed his thumb on them and let it fall down where it trailed down over the nose of the other, which had a dent in it. Something from an injury? There was another injury mark on his face, right by his right ear was a small scar, and another one on the fold on his outer ear on the left side. Naruto's fingers went down further to the extreme dip in Shikamaru's top lip, where he then pried open the other's mouth. Shikamaru had pretty good canines and Naruto took note of it all. The moles, the freckles, the scars, even the bags starting to form under his eyes. It was all an interesting sight, and Naruto marked it to his core. He kept looking until he was felt a little satisfied. Naruto saw his reflection in Shikamaru's eyes, and at the moment become aware of just how much he was crowding Shikamaru.

"Ah, um sorry," Naruto said, his tone neutral, to surprised at his own actions. He started to pull away but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"No, it's okay." Shikamaru spoke in a hushed tone. Eyes turning nearly pleading.

"You can look as long as you like, I want you to know that." The hand on his shoulder became heavier, making sure he was dragged in the present. "I want you to know that you can ask of me anything, anything in the world, and I won't judge you." The gold in his eyes grew as Shikamaru's eyes widen with intent as he leaned up closer to Naruto. Everything was quiet, but Naruto got the point, so he nodded his head.

The hand dropped and Naruto sat back down on his chair.

'This room is too hot, I hope summer passes quickly.' Naruto thought.

'Wait...I'm not sure what season it is.' Naruto stood from his seat and walked over to the back door in his room. Nice cool air came in making Naruto close his eyes at the feel of the wind. It felt nice. The sky was a bright shade of blue, but the sun was beaming directly done from over top, making it hard to look out. He couldn't see.

"Naruto." The one in question turned to look back. Shikamaru had stood up, and after great internal debate, walk to where he was standing. A cloud overhead came and blocked out some of the sun as Shikamaru reached him.

"You're hair, it went back." What a strange thing to say, Naruto mused. He patted the top of his hand to make sure there was hair there and he didn't go bald in his sleep. He pulled a long stand down and eyes the blonde color. Smoothly he turned to face Shikamaru and tilted his head with a confused noise.

"Nh?"

"Nnh?"

...

"Ah! Did you not know!?" Shikamaru blurted out loud, looking shocked in disbelief.

"Oh man, did no one say anything?! Well, I guess maybe there might not have been a good moment but still, ahh those guys are a pain." Shikamaru patted his chest till he pulled something out. A bird flying by fast and free caught Naruto's attention halfway, so he was no longer listening as he watched.

"Here, I got a compact mirror to show you, maybe you'll see-"

Naruto painstakingly tore his gaze away, expecting to see Shikamaru's own face. However, what he saw was not that, as strands of bright blonde hair came into view, and the start of the side of his face.

CRACK

Out of pure instinct, Naruto slapped the mirror out of Shikamaru's hand. It bounced off the wood floor onto the stone step right outside where it shattered against the edge. Both parties stood in silence.

"Ah!" Naruto bent down first and started to pick up the pieces but a hand stopped him.

"It's alright."

"But-"

"It's alright." Shikamaru said again with a smile. He went down to sit while groaning like an old man before sprawling out, contently looking at the sky. Naruto stayed nealing on his hunches, but he didn't try to pick up the mirror. Instead, he kept thinking about it. He could have sworn, at a split second, that he saw his hair turn a different color right before he slapped it away. Naruto chewed the inside of his lip before he decided to ask.

"What did you mean, by my hair?"

Shikamaru looked over before straightening up with another smile.

"You're hair, it changes color now. Not really sure why, Kakashi was the one who told me about it. Well, if it's something you are worried about we could try and see why, you know? Maybe do some research together and figure it out, yeah?" Shikamaru rested both hands on his spread knees and lightly bumped Naruto with one. Naruto blinked and thought about it.

'My hair is changing colors? By the way he says that, it changes and goes back to the original color then, right?'

Naruto twirled another strain between his fingers, mulling.

'Well, hair changing colors is the least of my problems, and as long as I didn't go bald or anything I think it should be fine.'

"Mm, yeah I think it would be interesting to do researching...some time." Naruto replied. This little response seemed to make Shikamaru quite happy, as he gave a nod and a smile so big it made his eyes squint. Naruto didn't think he ever saw Shikamaru smile as big as this before...ever. Naruto couldn't stop staring, though they were both interrupted by a loud cluttering outside the inside door.

"He-llo!!" Tsunade yelled as she whipped the door open. She was carrying a couple of brown bags in one hand and two boxes thrown over her shoulder in the other. Both boys got up, Shikamaru getting up first and letting out a hand to help Naruto up, and they went to greet the Hokage.

"My my, what's in the boxes now?" Shikamaru drawled out with hands in his pockets. Tsunade smiles fiercely as she dropped them down and in a flourish opened them up.

"Ta-da!" Inside were bottles and bottles of orange rose tea, all neatly lined up. Naruto was beyond shocked as he knelt to peer in.

"Are these...all tea?" He asked tentatively. Tsunade also came down and moved the open box off.

"Well, those were just the cans I could find in the village at the moment but in here, here is some orange rose tea leaves! I didn't know if you liked that as well so I got it anyway, but then you would need a kettle so~"

Inside the other box were two carefully placed packages. Underneath them, both were even more bottles of tea. Naruto felt a little bit of sweat run down at the sight of it all. He turned back as Tsunade handed him the now unwrapped package.

"What do you think?" She was beaming again. Naruto took the kettle and looked it over. It was...orange! It looked like an orange sunset was painted on it, darker at the bottom and fading at the top where the lid sat. Delicate flowers were painted at the bottom in a field scene, with some petals scattering in the painted sky. It was wonderfully well made, looking at it made him feel like he could walk right on the scenery made. It came with four cups, two black and two orange with small flowers painted on the inside. Naruto picked up some of the tea bags and looked at it all.

"It's...gorgeous." He spoke. The other two sighed happily and smiled at him. Naruto went to place the tea set on the counter, carefully looking it over. He then thought of something important.

"Oh yeah, I have a mini stovetop as well so you actually have something to put the kettle on, it even has wheels so you can move it around!"

Naruto nodded his head at Tsunade picking up his thoughts, bringing a hand up to cover the glare of the sun outside hitting his eyes. He went back over to where Shikamaru and Tsunade both still sat to look at all the tea.

'My heart is beating fast...but I'm really happy about these gifts. They are so thoughtful.'

Naruto's chest clenched a little painfully as he carefully walked over to the others. Their faces were young, they were young. Though staring at their features too long made a headache appear. In this dimming light, Naruto tried so hard to be in the present. To think that this was the present and real word. He wanted to believe in it so badly. However much the ghosts of something else kept lingering in the side of his vision. These people were so nice.

They were so nice,

...They were too nice.

Did he deserve this?

What if it was taken away?

Naruto crouched back down, knees huddled to his chest even though he was trying to relax a little more. Because while their behavior was off from what he was used to, this was ultimately what he wanted. What he longed for deep in his heart, so much so that he created a fake world where he got it.

'Doesn't that mean this could be fake too?'

Naruto tsked to himself at not being able to stop that quick thought he knew was coming. He was happy about the thoughtfulness of the other two, and wanted to for just a second live in this happiness...

but he was scared.

Naruto took in a breath and tried to focus back in real-time, at the very least just to make sure these two left and he could be alone for his incoming breakdown of horrid thoughts. He looked up to Tsunade, in front of him, who was talking but he wasn't getting a word of it. The sounds of her words were there, but they weren't connecting into a pattern of cohesive words or sentences. It was like a wobbly sound that couldn't even hit both ears at the same time. He thinks she was explaining something about the tea bags...or maybe where she got all the cans. This was bad, he was giving it his all to be in the present, so why weren't her words coming through. Naruto bit inside his lip again. The deeper baritone of Shikamaru's voice cut through the air like a knife and Naruto turned towards the sound, hoping that he was trying to wrap things up and leave, only to freeze.

The sunlight coming in hit the back of Shikamaru's head, casting a shadow that all but erased all the little colors in his hair that Naruto picked out earlier. Shikamaru slowly turned his head to face Naruto, the shadows running along his face faster than they should. There, below his lip, sat a triangle of a shadow. Naruto's heart, which he thought was sprinting before, picked up to another speed all together as he took in the shadows around Shikamaru's eyes and below his mouth. It looked too familiar. It looked too familiar! The ghost of the past danced and hollered in front of the Shikamaru that he painstakingly watch, slowly settling into the other's skin.

'He is here for me.' Naruto's mind raced. 'He is going to take me back!'

He now understood things a little bit better, seeing whips of blonde turning red in his vision as he pulled back his fist. He couldn't stop. He punched right where the others Shikamaru's goatee would be. The momentum of his swing was offset by his missing limb, so Naruto dug his feet into the ground and threw himself on top of Shikamaru, crashing both of them to the floor. He grabbed at the other's collar.

"I-" How can a voice be so wobbly but stern? "I won't let you do just whatever you want with me!"

He didn't know why he said that of all things, but then again he was happy what came out of his mouth was coherent given how many thoughts and feelings were rushing through his being. Naruto sat up, still straddling Shikamaru and still holding on to him. At this point, he would have brought back his fist and go for another sucker punch, but the breeze on his stub gave him a painful reminder at the last minute. He didn't have another hand to do anything with. Naruto choked a little on his tongue as he ignored the fact that he thought he saw an apparition of a bandaged-up arm just a second ago. This was all too much. Naruto leaned all the way back and looked down at the other and, like a snap, his intent to beat the face right off Shikamaru left. The Shikamaru underneath him wasn't the one that he wanted to fight. Not at all.

Shikamaru lay sprawled on the floor, neither hands up to guard him nor to push Naruto off. He was laying down with them flat on the ground and a neutral expression. But the shadow was gone. Naruto knocked both of them fully in a patch of sunlight which highlighted his features, all of them, that Naruto made sure he remembered to his core. Gold and brown eyes looked up at him, not hate or malice or pain, just calmness. He was completely calm.

Naruto carefully lowered his grip on the other but remained seated on him. Neither one said anything. Naruto didn't know this, but the reason why the other person in the room didn't interfere was that Shikamaru quickly raised a hand to her to ask to deal with this alone before pressing it firmly on the ground. Tsunade was close, almost touching Naruto, but backed up against her instincts for fear of hurting Naruto anymore than he was hurting.

Naruto stared at Shikamaru, bringing his face close before rolling off and away to lay on his side on the ground, facing away from the other two. Nothing was said, nothing needed to be said. They knew they should leave him be now.

"It's alright, you know?" Naruto twitched a little at Shikamaru's low-spoken words. His vision was obscured by red strains of hair. It reminded him of his mother. Naruto listened to their quiet footstep as they gathered what they needed to leave while thinking of his mother. The memories he had of her were...calming. He wished he had red hair like hers, like an Uzumaki, and somehow, someway, he got it. Naruto turned his head to face the door and his visitors. The roots of his hair struggled to decide if they wanted to turn back blonde or not. He wasn't really looking at the faces of either, but they seemed to take his movement as something positive.

"There was something you wanted to say this whole time, wasn't there?" The statement was directed at Shikamaru. From his resting position, he could only see as high as their tummies, so whatever look or conversation they were having together was something he wasn't picking up. Naruto's eyes shifted though when Shikamaru knelt down on one knee to make better contact with the prone figure on the floor.

"You're correct, I...actually wanted to see if you were comfortable with other people coming to visit you-and by that I mainly mean my team; Chouji and Ino. They don't know you are awake, but I know they would be happy to hear it, and to see you. The choice is obviously up to you, I don't really care either way." Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck at that.

"Honestly I'm content if you let me come back-"

"When?"

"Tomorrow?"

Naruto hummed low and didn't move.

"Bring them the day after tomorrow."

Shikamaru's face split open with shock before the analytical look took over. He searched Naruto's face, knowing better than to ask more questions, and once he found what he was looking for gave a court nod.

"Alright, I'll talk to you soon, okay?" He gave a soft smile but Naruto was already turning his head the other way. He heard both of them say goodbye as they walked away. No thoughts ran through Naruto's head, it was all silent. This is probably why he could hear those two talking even when he knew they left.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, you don't have to worry about me, you're the one that got punched you know?"

Naruto sighed and closed his eyes. Leaving everything to go black.

Chapter Text

For what seemed like only a few minutes he laid there on the floor, staring at an equally unmoving wall with a blank look. His face hid well what was going on inside his stomach, as it turned and flittered about uneasily. Even if Naruto were to press his whole body flush against the floor and lay beyond perfectly still his stomach still moved about like a whirlpool trying to escape a glass jar. It made him feel sick...

'Uh-oh.'

Shooting up with lightning speed Naruto ran to the back door and threw it open just in time for water to rise up from the back of his throat. The force of his heaving put a strain on his head and shoulders that, by the time he finished he merely slumped over, chest on wood while his head and arm hung out of the door, fingers lightly touching the stone step right underneath. Naruto knew if he were to get up the world would be spinning, so he decided to put it off as long as he could. A slightly bitter wind blew over his hair-still white- making him look up. It was quite a shock, as when the two visitors first left he only thought he laid down for an hour or so. But the pitch dark sky told a different story. It was late...very late. A lot of time went by without him noticing...which was at the very bottom of the list of Things That Were Very Concerning to Naruto Right Now.

'The wind chill was a tad bit cold...Autumn must be starting soon...or ending.' he thought absentmindedly, kicking his legs up in the air. Naruto turned his head to nuzzle it into his arm, only to get a whiff of what he smelled like. His eyes shot open.

"...I need a bath. Badly."

It was a little funny, that he was so preoccupied with other things that he forgot to do something as simple and routine as bathing. But the thought of using the big bath he saw was very appealing. Naruto slowly got up, both physically and his mood, as he made his way into the closet.

While running the water in the bath Naruto stood in front of all the clothes he could pick out, feeling a little lost.

"Uwaa, there is so much to choose from, what should I wear?" He spoke to himself as he patted around the shelves and racks, trying to make up his mind. Spotting a light blue long sleeve, Naruto went to pick it up, only to see underneath an all too familiar black and orange jumpsuit.

"Nope!" Slamming the shirt back down a little too hard and rattling the whole shelf, Naruto stepped away and pushed more clothing over top, trying to hide the thing he didn't want to see at the moment. He picked up one item at a time to place on top until he had a decent pile of crumpled clothing.

"There, all good." Naruto very much ignored his arm that moved, as he wanted to clap his hands together but remembered he couldn't. Instead, he grabbed something random and went in to wash up and bathe. The little shower by the bathtub was nice, despite that, Naruto still hesitated as he grabbed the liquid soap. It wasn't like his senses weren't working in the Not-World, they were. And that is where his new problem lies. If Naruto closed his eyes, he was certain that he would still be able to smell the scent of the Not-World. All in which, wouldn't be that different from here, perhaps. Or maybe it would? Maybe even his sense of smell was made up? In that case, when he went to scrub his body with something that sat on his skin, maybe it would erase the smell in the back of his mind as well? Maybe permanently? Would that mean he would be one step closer to...forgetting about it? Could he forget about it...completely?

…

Did he want to forget about it completely?

Naruto squeezed the loofah in his hand as his mouth twisted downwards.

He didn't want that.

He has done a horrible thing. He made a mockery of his friends in what he could only assume was his unconscious view of them. Or maybe it was something else? But still, it didn't sit right with him. What if it was all a premonition? The future to come? Then he couldn't forget it, lest he be doomed to repeat it.

But he didn't want to remember it. It hurt, it hurt so much.

Though, there is a chance that this world was fake too. Who's to say it isn't? A world where people are nice to him and treat him like a decent human being and he gets to achieve his goal? That's been every dream he ever had since he was a child! Was this all a test? He failed the last one in the Not-World and now he was sent to another one to rectify his mistakes, even though he didn't know what he was being tested on? Maybe it's a test from God?

"Tsk." Naruto couldn't help but scoff here, thinking about his very long and rocky history with the idea of God. The idea of this being a test from God made him angry if anything. He took the soap bottle in his hand and popped it open, a nice citrus smell flowered out. In the end, he poured on a decent amount.

For now, he wanted to be confident in his ability to remember his wrongs and to never forget them no matter what. He will promise himself.

Completely rinsed off he sat on the edge of the tub, admiring the bath once more before dipping in. The moan he let out in the scalding water was almost obscene but he could help it. It felt so good. His entire body was surrounded by the warmth of the water, infectious enough to seep into his bones and soul, soothing any ache it found. Naruto could feel his muscles unknot, and the strains untwist. Body moving on his own, Naruto slipped underwater, becoming one with the cosmos.

When he came back up for air he felt a thousand times better than he has in twelve lifetimes. Naruto warily looked at his reflection in the water as he stretched his shoulders, seeing his hair blonde once again, and smiled to himself. He now felt new and better, like a flower, twisting open and blooming. Naruto sat there, swirling his feet in the water and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere when his Shinobi instincts told him of a presence arriving somewhere outside. The tired and weary look in his eyes came back, but only for a moment. And at the moment, he decided that he would let his curiosity roam now that he was in a good mood. Naruto got out of the bath, and walked out to the hall.

.

.

.

Completely in the nude, he walked down an empty hallway. Skin once golden tan from years of being outside now pale, glowing an eerie white in the moonlight coming from the windows. The watery footprints he left as he walked twinkled, painting the view as if it was something of an ethereal tale told around a wake of a fire. Coming to the front door he crouched down, and opened it but a crack. Two people were on the other side, and they appeared to not have noticed him. Naruto caught on to the end of a sentence being said.

"-been organizing the mail into stacks, there is quite a lot, and still some coming in." The pleasant drawl of Kakashi's voice came through. Naruto peeked through but he knew internally that the other person was Iruka. What he didn't know was why there were here, especially at this time.

"Mm, though I'm glad about that! Thank you for all your hard work, Kakashi-san."

"Please, I told you right? You don't have to add 'san' at the end." Iruka chuckled at that.

"Yes, and I believe I told you. I add it to the end because you are deserving of it, and you aren't going to change my mind. Got it?"

"Yes yes, Sensei."

"If you are going to call me sensei perhaps I shall call you with 'Kun' instead!" The two shared a peal of laughter together, and all in all, seemed to be enjoying themselves. Naruto knew that sometimes Iruka had a habit of talking to adults like his children from the academy, much to Iruka's embarrassment. There were even a few times when Naruto had to consol Iruka in his past because he accidentally talked to a superior like that. It was a sensitive issue with his Iruka but...

Naruto leaned over to see the sliver of view he had on Kakashi. He didn't know when the two of them have gotten so close that Iruka wouldn't be shy about his speech habit. He didn't even get mad when Kakashi pointed it out, more like...he teased him back. This would be a point of interest...if this Naruto was the younger Naruto. Perhaps he would have at this point jump out and say 'Aha! Since I don't remember you two having a relationship like this then this proves it's a fake world.' 

But Naruto is not a young kid anymore, and he knows that people have other lives he doesn't know about. In fact, a very light and happy feeling floated in his chest at seeing this Iruka have fun with someone around his own age. He always worried about his Iruka, not having much time to make friends or meet new people. It was nice, seeing him be so open with someone. The pleasant air that the two created outside turned to something more serious as they both moved to stand close together with their backs still turned towards the door. Nevertheless, neither one noticed the extra presence. Naruto continued to listen.

"How were things today?" Kakashi asked, voice lower and softer.

"...Well, Shikamaru got punched today. Luckily it wasn't a serious injury, and even if it was the Hokage was there with him. He is doing fine now, and was invited back in two days! And just a short while ago I sensed the back door open, but no one came in or out. Now everything is just...still."

From his position, Naruto could see Iruka shrug his shoulders as he nervously trailed off.

'He somehow knows everything that happened today...did someone tell him?'

As he thought more he saw Kakashi lightly tap Iruka's shoulder with his own.

"Everything is going alright. Yeah, there are some things we don't know, but it could be worse...a lot worse. Honestly, I'm just glad that he is here now after all that's happened. And I know there is a lot of things that need to be fixed, and healing to do...but I know I'll be here to help with all of it. You as well. It's not going to be like in the past, he isn't gonna be doing this alone. Not anymore. Things are going to change, but not all change is bad."

Whatever words Kakashi was saying seemed to be just the right ones to make Iruka feel better. Naruto watched, intently, as Iruka gave a small thank you. The two said a good night to each other before Iruka hurried left, wiping an eye as he did so. Kakashi was left alone to stare at the sky in wonder. There was a far-away look in his eye as he leaned back only for the door to rattle. 

"Hm?" The older man quickly took a step away and looked down, seeing the door open a crack. Carefully, and with a pounding heart, he opened the door gently just enough to peek in. 

A dark and empty hall. Two doors sat on the same side, both of them shut. Kakashi's eyes lingered over the door to Naruto's room, quiet and unmoving. Still, just like Iruka said. In his chest, in his heart, he wanted to go check up on the only person occupying this space. But he couldn't, not right now. even though he wanted to so bad. Instead, he forced himself to close the door completely and resume his watch, the whole time not seeing the poised boy sitting just barely out of sight on the other side of the door. 

-

Naruto made his way back to the bathroom to get changed, the whole time thinking of the look in Kakashi's eye as he gazed at his room's door, unaware that he was right there. The change of his gaze, how soft and almost wounded he looked before shutting the door...It didn't sit right with him, but he didn't know exactly why. It made him feel sick all over again. That, and he couldn't help but wonder more on why Iruka knew about everything or why either of them was there. 

'Are they keeping an eye on me?' That notion filled him with dread. Was he being kept here? Wait no, he was the one who claimed this area for himself...but maybe they secretly loved it?

Naruto bit his lip as he pulled his clothing on, trying to chase off the extreme emotions he was swiftly feeling. He didn't want to do any of the reckless things he knew he normally did when he felt like this. Keeping a calm and rational head is what will help the most. Naruto took a deep breath, and thought of what he could do.

He decided to make some tea. The mini-stove had been hooked up already, putting the new lovely kettle on he sat and got comfortable, drinking a couple of cups and feeling out his stomach. Naruto was hungry, but he didn't reach to grab any food. Not now. He is still just waiting. 

When his stomach growled for a second time, much louder and with accompanying pain Naruto got up and went out to the hall, purposely closing his door loudly. There was startled movement from outside as he made quick steps to the front, the door shaking for a moment. There was no hesitation as he reached the front door and threw it open, almost laughing at the sight that greeted him. The sight of Kakashi bent slightly over, fingers still postured as if they were in the door handle and his eye wide. Kakashi looked at him before sputtering and backing up quickly. It took him a minute to compose himself.

"Oh..uh, h-Good morning~ Naruto. How are you?" Kakashi's voice cracked a little with his nerves running. He looked down at Naruto before crouching at his knees and looking up at him. Speaking more softly.

"Is everything all right? Do...you want me to get you anything?"

Naruto stared impassively down at the other man as he sucked on his teeth, noting the flip between personalities just now. 

"...I'm hungry, for something that isn't here. I wanted to go out and pick some Nashi to eat. It's around that time of year right?" On cue, his stomach growled, solidifying his point exactly as he wanted. Though rather than waiting till he finished speaking it interrupted his sentence at the end so Naruto's question was drowned out...It didn't matter though as the point got across. Nashi harvesting was always a good pastime, mainly for the elderly or couples, but it was still stable. Kakashi tilted his head a little in pondering, before smiling way too brightly at someone who didn't sleep at all yet. Naruto squinted.

"Oya oya, sure! Why don't we go now and get some! I'm sure it will be fine~" Kakashi stood back up and...held out his hand to Naruto.

'Hand? Smile?? WE??' Naruto numbly looked at the hand, the long nimble fingers and palm, before wrapping his hand around just the fingers. He didn't really know what was going on.

"Oh?!" Kakashi looked taken aback when Naruto grabbed his hand, startling him. He made a move to take his hand back, feeling embarrassed, but Kakashi held on, bringing their hands together and smiling again.

"It's all good! Shall we go?"

Naruto kept his lips pursed, thinking of how quickly his plans changed and becoming more somber.

'He said 'we'. This was all a test to see if I would be able to leave this place on my own, but before I knew it someone else was coming with me. Does this mean I am being kept under tight watch? Or doesn't it?'

The hand gripping his let off after a few moments, and it was just the two of them walking in the streets of Konohagakure at night. It was so dark that anyone would have trouble making out the buildings and signs around. Naruto was grateful for that. He felt calmer than he thought he would with not being able to see anything. But he wouldn't allow himself to forget the true meaning of being out like this in the first place. Naruto looked down at his bare feet as they walked, then over to Kakashi's that strode alongside him.

"You know, I can do this alone." Big beautiful blue eyes glanced up at the face of the other through eyelashes, appraising any reaction he would get from his words. From his position, Naruto saw...sadness...fill Kakashi as he looked up at the sky. His silver hair was like the silver lining in a cloud, or maybe the silver glint in a sword. They passed underneath a streetlight where Kakashi paused, the light reflecting off just right that Naruto could see his white eyelashes...and the silver in his eye. Naruto heard time and time again how good-looking Kakashi was underneath his mask but, he always thought that the sentiment stayed true even with the mask on. Kakashi looked into the blue eyes looking up at him, looking more and more like a sailor trying to find land from his raft. But then he smiled, again. And crouched down to Naruto's side, again.

"I know," he said. A voice full of emotion and firmness. "I know you can do it alone. I know, of all the things that you can do alone. It is actually, incredible...but, I was hoping..." Naruto watched as the grown man trailed off before gently, like a whisper, lifted his finger into the slack palm of Naruto's hand, like he wanted Naruto to hold it again. The feeling of it was ticklish to Naruto, and uncertainty welled up. However, Kakashi simply pulled on his hand a bit, to allow it to rest in Kakashi's hold. He looked at the knuckles of his hand the same way Naruto supposed he looked at Iruka's, before gazing up to his face.

"I was hoping you would allow me to accompany you, is all. I haven't seen you awake in quite some time, and seeing you awake now makes me very happy!" Kakashi smiles at him sideways. Naruto looked at their hands and then back to the face, deciding then and there that maybe this test was a bad idea. He didn't have to answer or say anything though, as his stomach made a very horrific noise that sounded like it was about to learn how to talk with words just to get something in it. Naruto blushed while the other laughed. Neither of them moved for a moment until Naruto took the first step away towards the trees while thinking about how the other man looked content with standing there all night just waiting for his cues. Despite that, Kakashi was then leading him again, taking his mask down low enough to sniff at night air and turn corners. Every time he walked away from Naruto's side to find the direction he would look back and wait, patiently, for Naruto to walk back up to his side.

'It's almost like he is a dog. A big fluffy white dog.'

They didn't go out of the Village, which was expected, as Konoha had many mini-forest around the village, or more to say, that the village was built around. Soon even Naruto recognized the crisp scent as they came to a stop in a cluster of Nashi trees.

'It smells so nice here.' he thought to himself.

"Ayaa, shall we get to pickin'?" Kakashi put his hand on his one forearm, looking like he was getting ready for something fun as he ducked under the branches. With Naruto's height, and the fact that these pear trees were about a hundred years old, there was only so much he could pluck. In his mind, he thought of folding them into the bottom half of his top, but that worked better if he had another arm to help him out. Instead, he managed to get three and was holding them awkwardly against his chest. A light tap on his shoulder made him turn around to see Kakashi holding a small handwoven basket. Naruto dropped his in as Kakashi then decided he himself would be the basket holder and would simply walk behind Naruto, waiting for him to pick the ones he wanted.

Naruto quietly imagined a white dog holding a basket in its mouth and looked away.

'I forgot something important it seems. I forgot about Kakashi-sensei's secret skill of persuasion. Who do I think I am? To believe I wouldn't also get trapped by his terrifying skills of making people do what he wants. No wonder he is known as a fearsome shinobi not to be crossed. I'm pear picking in the dead of night with Shiba Inu here when that's not what I even wanted!' 

Naruto glanced behind him as he thought to said Inu, who also was lost in thought. Noticing his gaze Kakashi stiffened for a moment before relaxing, smiling like a grandma while he held up the basket. Naruto sweated a little before turning around. He obtained all the pears in his reach at this point. He was going to have to climb the tree to get more. Well...at least it would give some distance between him and Kakashi...

It was way more challenging figuring out how to climb the tree with one arm than he thought. Naruto stood a few feet from the base of the tree before running and jumping onto it, startling Kakashi enough for him to let out a quick yelp. Naruto ignored the sound as he held his legs and arm held as tight as possible around the tree. Thankfully the older man had made the decision to help him out, pushing underneath Naruto's butt to help propel him up. Naruto scattered like a bug as fast as he could away from the touch and sat on the nearest branch. Looking down at Kakashi...the vision of learning tree climbing for the first time came back.

  Naruto plucked more pears in order to avoid looking into Kakashi's weirdly wide and happy eye. It seems one of these men seemed to be having a million times more fun than the other at the moment he thought as he dropped what he could into the waiting basket below. Swinging his feet Naruto counted six pears with room for one more. He looked around and saw another one just out of reach.

'It shouldn't be too much trouble to get to.' Carefully rising, the young man sidestepped towards the edge of his perch. The branch was chilly and wobbly as he walked towards the end of it to try and reach above. It felt dewy and wet, he might slip at any chance. There was a simple solution that was automatic in his brain. Focus the chakra to his feet so he shall not fall. 

CRACK

In an instant, the branch below him was fragmented and shattered into thousands of pieces from the contact of such corroded and damaged Chakra. Naruto was free-falling down in a fraction of a second, and then his body was going up. The sudden movement of one direction to the other made Naruto sick once more, though the motion stopped quite quickly. Opening his eyes, he looked up to the concerned gaze of the man who caught him mid-air and landed them both on top of a roof nearby. With a strain, Naruto looked to where he just was. The branch and its pieces were completely gone, torn to such tiny shreds that they got caught in the wind and blown away. Almost like it was never even there. The feeling of his corroded Chakra still hummed in the area like a foul omen darkening the air. His Chakra did that. He did that. For something as simple as tree climbing. 

Naruto swallowed around the lump in his throat even if it wasn't any use. Some overwhelming feeling was coming up. 

He wasn't aware of Kakashi watching him, noticing him swallowing. Kakashi's fingers twitched before he carefully and slowly turned, as if they were in a slow dance on top of the roof. 

"Woah, hey!" Naruto protested as the view he was looking at was taken away. He looked up in protest at Kakashi, who in the crescendo of his own inner music dipped his knees before standing upright quickly.

"Mep!" Naruto let out...some kind of sound as he was justled up and caught back in the arms carrying him. Immediately he struggled to get out of the grip of the man who thought he could just rearrange somebody like that, however, the presence of a basket being lowered into his lap halted his actions. 

"Just relax, I'll be your help."

In a surprising twist, Naruto did in fact relax. He didn't have the energy to keep fighting, not that he could do much anyway. His legs, they were filled with static now. His feet burned and pulsed and crackled all at the same time. There was no way he wanted to put pressure on them at the moment. He already lost an arm, did he want to add his legs to the mix? 

Naruto looked out as they moved, Kakashi jumping with ease. It was...the same. A dark village covered in shadows, cast in gentle light from lamp posts that looked like fireflies leading you further in a wood and metal maze. 

'Thank god it's dark out.' Naruto mused as the air hit his face. 

He didn't really know where he was. Didn't know if the place he came from was real or not, or if this current place was real or not. He didn't know how long he was going to be here, and, he had no Chakra to help him out. It was gone. All of his hard work was gone. All the things he learned were useless.

"What a devastating feeling!" Naruto said out loud with a bitter smile and happy tone. Kakashi looked down at him worriedly as Naruto laughed twice before leaning his head back into Kakashi's chest. 

'Yeah.' Kakashi thought as he tightened his grip enough for Naruto to mumble. 'This is a devastating feeling.' 

There were upon his room in no time, and Naruto took time to look at it before they went down.

'My room is an island in the middle of a black sea.'

Kakashi didn't drop him off at the front door, instead, he made his way to the back, jumping over the fence, so Naruto could get to the bed faster. 

"Hup, hup, hup, hup." Kakashi made the noise under his breath as he jogged before smoothly setting Naruto down directly in the door opening. It was like he never left it. Naruto sat, not looking at anything, not seeing anything. His limbs were still tingly and felt like something was moving underneath. It was a terribly itchy feeling, like worms were inside him. So much so that Naruto debated digging into his skin just to satisfy the uncomfortable feeling. Tear his skin right off his body, to expose his nerves and workings.

"Are you okay?" 

Naruto's vision was filled with silver. For a moment, it was like he was on the moon. A finger was brought in front of his eyes, moving in what seemed like a wild manner before pulling back towards Kakashi's eye. Following it unconsciously, Naruto's vision was forced to focus. He was pulled back in the present. 

He blunk, and then regarded the other man. Kakashi just sighed. 

"I know. I know you are not okay. I'm sorry." 

It should be illegal for Kakashi to sound so sad and heartbroken, Naruto thought. 

"Look, we still got these! Here." Kakashi tapped the woven basket in Naruto's lap. Seven pears sat inside. Since he no longer had a view of his leg he guessed he wouldn't scratch the hell of it. Naruto picked one up and took a brisk bite, alleviating the pain in his stomach. 

"It's tasty..." Naruto muttered. Kakashi's demeanor perked up the slightest bit. 

"I'll leave you to it then, give you time and space. If you need any help...please... please...don't hesitate to call me..."He watched sharply as Kakashi, fluid as water, stood up while easing the mask off his face. The world seemed to pulsate, as Naruto traced in the face bathed in moonlight. Bright hair, cutting eyelashes, the mole was on his face. He saw his face before...he couldn't pinpoint exactly when, but he knew. That mouth, barely seen by anyone, curved into a smile tang with bitterness.

"I hope you'll let me come back some time." Kakashi spoke while taking a bite out of a pear of his own. 

Ah, he didn't know that Naruto knew he was outside.

Before Kakashi turned away completely Naruto picked out a few more pears.

"Mm."

Stopped by the small noise, Hatake looked back to see his beloved student holding out the basket with some pears in it. Splitting their bounty in half. Naruto wasn't looking at him, but that was alright. Kakashi took the basket gratefully and left, careful not to overstay his welcome. He wouldn't know that Naruto would sit there for the next few hours, unmoving, only going in when the sun started to glare too harshly in the eyes.

--

Chapter Text

The story of Momotaro, the boy born from a peach, is a common story handed down through time. Many parents and grandparent would fondly tell their children about the boy who befriended others, and went on a brave quest to defeat the fearsome Oni who lived in Onigashima. Naruto remembered the first time he heard the story, back in the academy being argued between two students on who was the best sidekick to the 'hero.' He went inside and looked up at his teacher, at Iruka before he became his Iruka, and asked why Momotaro set out, why did the demons need to be slain.

'Because they were bad.' Iruka had said, continuing organizing papers and not looking down at him.

'But why were they bad?' Naruto had strained his neck to look up at the teacher, nearly standing on tip toes.

'Because Oni are bad, they don't need to do anything to deserve to be treated that way. They are 'born' bad, and there is no way to change that.'

Iruka had been exasperated at having to explain, the tone and eye roll said it all. The simple answer was troublesome though, for Naruto, as every time he passed the Teriyaki shop on his way home the old woman with wild hair and a bony finger would always waddle out quickly when she spotted him. Even now, Naruto could still feel the jabbing pain of the finger bent at odd angles as it was shoved in his chest, and can still smell the horrid breath of the woman as she leaned in to identify him in a terrifying, throaty and gargled voice 'Oni~~'.The old woman would then call over her daughter to throw dry beans at him, while the old woman hollered and whopped for him to 'git' and the girl not much older than him would giggle and dance as if this was the highlight of her day. The family there weren't the only ones to say such a thing, in fact, a handful of elders would spit the same thing if they spotted the young boy and knew they were alone. This news on Oni was concerning for little Naruto. But Iruka had continued on, unknowable of the plight of his student.

'If this is a prank of some kind it's a bad one. Why don't you just read the printout I gave you.' Irritation was in Iruka's voice. Back then the teacher always gave off an air that he was extremely uncomfortable talking to young Naruto one on one. He often looked around to see if anyone saw Naruto come in after hours. Always turning his whole body away if Naruto talked to him in front of the other teachers, like he wasn't there. He tapped his pencil on his desk and waited for his response.

'I can't read it.' Naruto had said. Earning him another eye roll and a loud sigh.

'You're not going to say you're too good to read it are you? Because I already got the excuse from Takahashi.' Naruto tried again, deciding to be truthful.

'I can't read.' Plain and simple. And wrong. He was kicked out of the room by an angry Iruka. At the time he didn't understand why he was in trouble...he was trying to be truthful. He didn't understand what was written down. The characters seemed to blend together and some of them he never saw before in his life. Naruto went back home the evening, so lost in thought that he forgot to take the long way and ended up running from the mean old woman and her laughing daughter.

-

Naruto woke up from a strange dream, one where he lived as a demon in Onigashima and he ran away from a child wildly swinging a sword with a monkey, dog, and pheasant in tow. The last of his dream ended with him searching out a peach that when eaten, would make Momotaro disappear. The dream was so realistic that he could still taste the lingering sweetness when he opened his eyes.

"Is this my burden? A life cursed with vivid dreams, each one weirder than the last?" He spoke out loud to no one as he straightened out of the fetal position on the bed and cracked his back and knees.

"Mmm, I'm starting to sound like Kakashi, though he can sometimes crack parts of his body that I'm pretty sure shouldn't crack."

After a minute to wake up more he got out of bed to make it, not out of any rule of such, more so because keeping his area clean and clear leaves his mind clear. While struggling to pull one side of the blanket down with one arm Naruto tugged too hard and lost his grip, causing him to fall back onto his butt, bumping the desk by the window.

"Ouch..." Naruto learned his back heavily against the desk to balance and rub his sore behind.

"Haaa, still getting used to it." He said heavily and leaned his head back, counting the dust particles that floated up in the air. Another long drawn out sigh escaped as Naruto's head rested on his shoulder in tiredness, though the feel of something at his fingertips made him reopen his eyes. There on the floor, were the scrolls and book Shikamaru had given to him. One of them unraveled, a peek of ink words becoming visible. Naruto stared at it, a feeling of a wave washing crashing upon rocks.

Smooth like a stream, graceful like the pond, Naruto picked up the scroll and laid it across his lap, baring the words to the world.

The Collective Accounting of the Konohagakure Shinobi in the Fourth Great Shinobi War.

The words were written fluidly with bold strokes. Naruto read the next line.

The first day of battle began on the fourth of December of the --- era.

Naruto rubbed a finger on the Kanji he didn't understand. He was going to read more but was stuck, for a moment. Only one sentence in and he hit two blocks.

'of December? I was sure though...that the war started in October. It ended on my birthday, right? Maybe...it's a mistake in writing? I'll have to ask when I get a chance.' Naruto worried his bottom lip but determinedly pushed on.

The war was raged by The Masked Man, who was later revealed to be Obito Uchiha, an ex-Konohagakure shinobi who was presumed dead.

Naruto nodded his head at the writing that lined up with his memories, biting the skin of his index finger in thought. Obito...so in this place and in his memories Obito was the one to start the war...at least he had good clarification.

Obito first announced his – at the Kage -, interrupting the meeting being held there. Obito demanded the last two –, but was refused. Refused or not, the war was already in motion as evidence of the hell leading up to that moment. Leading up to the war many Shinobi from all around reported having to fight – Shinobi with – starting knowing the – and locally – having to fight his –--

Naruto stopped reading altogether, staring down at the letters that only a few he understood. He attempted, again and again, to break down the characters on paper to understand them better, however, the more he looked at them the more they distorted. He went to hold his palm up, and follow the lines of the letters to trace the pattern in his hand, a method he used when he was young to help familiarize himself with them. The ghost sensation of a hand not there gently touched his palm sent a cold tingle through his body. Naruto shook his head, and to compromise tried to trace the pattern on his leg instead.

'I'm still not sure...wait..'

"Ah! Summit! I know this one." Happy to get one Naruto took in the scroll again, trying his absolute hardest to understand the self-taught thing.

Obito first announced his – at the Kage SUMMIT, interrupting the meeting being held there. Obito demanded the last two –, but was refused.

Ten minutes went by but he wasn't making any more progress. The words were beautifully written, but sometimes the spacing of the characters made them mash up together, making it harder for him to differentiate one from another. The familiar bitter frustration started to rise from the back of his throat. An annoyed whine escaped as he scratched at one character in particular when it vanished under his finger. Naruto gasped and looked, as the character was no longer on paper but was now on his skin, sitting on his finger. Looking closely he noticed it...moving! It wiggled around in place, before coming off completely and floating in the air. Soon, the rest of the characters followed, rising from the paper and dancing in the air angrily over his head. Naruto reached out slowly, and tried to wave them away, but when he tried the dancing characters latched onto his skin. They melted together, painting his skin in inky blotches. Naruto tried wiping them off only for the same thing to happen to his clothes. The black ink spots grew rapidly, coating his being. More and more of them came out from the scroll, his knees down and arm were completely black, the ink growing to cover his entire face.

Through the whole thing, Naruto did not panic. Through the whole thing, his eyes were cut gems, betraying no emotion. They watched with no feeling. Just when Naruto was about to be consumed completely, the tea kettle whistled snapping him out of it. He was no longer covered in black, in fact, he was still hunched over the scroll that was still in his lap. He quickly rolled it back up with a sigh

"Every time something like this happens, I seem to be interrupted before the end. It puts me on edge, thinking what will happen if something doesn't interrupt in time." Grunting he got up to get his tea, wiping at the floor with his foot to set up a spot and drink. With a nurti-bar in his mouth, Naruto glanced back in the fridge, taking not of some Sake that was hidden in the back. It smelled sweet.

'When you become Hokage, I want to share a drink with you.'

Naruto startled when he remembered the words Gaara said to him. He quickly chewed the rest of his food and prepared his spot.

"I wonder how Gaara is doing...Is he here? Even if it would be a fake I kinda...would still want to see him." A bird on his window sill made a shrill cry, almost like it was replying to Naruto's words. Blowing on his cup of tea he set it down to grab another bar to ground up and feed the bird with.

"...Hello."

"Shrill"

"Hello..."

"Shrill!" Naruto smiled. He gave the little round bird the food, which it seemed to like if the repeated chirping was any indication.

"Yes yes, I know. Tell me more."

"Chi chi chi chiii!"

"You are very cute. Be careful not to get too fat or you won't be able to fly and see me anymore!" Naruto scolded while patting the bird on the head with his finger. The tiny sounds the bird made weren't too much of a disruption, and it made a good companion for drinking tea. Before walking back over, Naruto gently pushed the scroll he bumped into on the floor underneath a chair. He will look at it more later.

'I want to know what really happened, with the war, with this village, with myself. Just as it is that the possible answers to my question sit behind a wall of my inability. Maybe I should ask for help understanding the characters...but, the reaction people make when I tell them I can't read well...hurts.'

Naruto made a bitter face as he thought about the issue. The other possibility would be for him to go out and get a book that will help teach him better. He had a couple before as a child, and it helped him get to where he was now. Maybe he needs a next step book?

'Going out to get the book though hmmm...if I had to I would have to go at night. I can wear a henge-wait no. That's not a possibility anymore. Not unless I want to destroy everything around me.'

"Damn."

It was a frustrating situation, having something so close but yet so far away. Not only that, but the growing concerns for the visions he keeps getting and the weird dreams every night were rising his anxiety steadily bit by bit every day. The growing ball in his stomach was becoming tighter and heavier.

'Maybe I will turn into a fat bird that cannot fly at this rate.' he thought sadly, rubbing his stomach.

Sitting on his knees, Naruto took a sip of his nice and hot tea with a heavy sigh. Struggling was something he was used to but sometimes he wished things would just be a bit easier-

"Hm??" Naruto tilted his head as, thinking he heard a noise in the distance. What was that? Whatever was making the noise sounded like a wild boar on the loose. Naruto went to take another sip, when he realized the noise was approaching his direction at an alarming speed.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M HERE!" His sliding door was flung open with such force that it could have flown right through the wall and out the building, making the man sitting on the floor jump in surprise. Sweaty and out of breath, a barely recognizable light blonde-haired woman leaned heavily in his door way. The woman took a deep breath, dusted herself off, and struck a pretty pose.

"I'm here! Ino Yamanaka is here to make your day bright!" The woman-Ino, it was-vanished from his vision before reappearing with a folding table she held above her head. The thing that was probably making all the noise. She stepped-into his room-and sat the table down before the frozen blonde, who was so shocked that he remained icy in place, the teacup that was in his hand had fallen as soon as Ino entered, luckily hitting the ground bottom side down with the hot liquid not spilling for just a few drops. He watched with wide eyes and a blank face as Ino ran out once more and came back in with a small wheel cart, herself in the place of any donkey or pony, placing the things inside the cart on the table as well. Finally, with a grand flourish. she sat, and beamed a wild smile at him through the numerous cups and vases of flowers that now covered the entire table. Ino excitedly placed both hands on the tabletop.

"Well now well now, it's good to see you beautiful!" She gave him a wink, one that started to stir him out of his stupor.

"I, the amazing Ino, thought it would be just the thing to cheer you up by bringing flowers I grew myself for us to arrange together!" She laughed, organizing the things around her to suit her taste better. The whole time, Naruto sat there blown away by the quick-moving Shinobi. Ever since he woke up everyone around him moved with caution and patience, analyzing him, gauging his reaction to everything around him. This was the first time someone acted so...bubbly. Naruto glanced at all the objects brought into his room before looking to Ino once more before...standing up and grabbing another teacup for his guest.

Naruto cleaned up the droplets that spilled from his own cup before handing the other one over. The whole time he was up Ino didn't stare at him, or watch him when she thought he wouldn't notice. He then poured a drink for Ino, who looked calm and excited, taking in the aroma of his tea with an elegant wave of her hand. Naruto blinked a couple of times, taking in Ino's new look while she drank. Smoothing himself and dusting off anything on his lap, Naruto finally locked eyes, liquid blue meeting sparkling Forget-me-not blue.

"How do you properly flower arrange?"

-

Ino was in all sense, a great teacher. She was patient and gentle and, when Naruto found that he wanted to know more, did not mind being asked questions that may seem stupid or pointless.

"Hey now, you catch on pretty quick! You're a natural at this!"

"...Thank you." The praise made Naruto blush, and Ino calling him beautiful when she first entered was still fluttering around in his mind. Her presence was...nice. She made him feel light and airy, like he didn't have to try to pretend to be someone else. Naruto, as he sat aside his peony and worked with the wisteria, thought of how fun it was to arrange flowers. He mused to himself about how he always loved plants, and that was something that a few other people might even know. Even Kakashi would know considering Naruto gave him Ukki-san, a potted fern he saved when some shop keeper forgot it outside in the winter. A small smile tugged at his lips as he thought about the first time he found that plant as a child. It's spiky limbs covered in snow caught his attention at once, and he visited it for three days straight to see if the shop keeper would take it inside or not. The little plant, even though it was so cold and covered in white underneath it all it was still green and growing. Naruto's heart was captured altogether at the plant trying so hard to live and refusing to give up. He took it home and did his best to take care of it, even going to...the Yamanaka flower shop and asking the tall, blonde-haired guy about how to ensure his plant would survive.

'That was...Ino's father right? I remember being surprised when I saw 'the nice plant guy' pick her up from the academy...'

Ino's father gave him great instruction and the fern grew better in no time. He was dubbed Yuki-san by a little Naruto, since the fern was covered in snow for so long, but the nickname Ukki-san came to be because of little Naruto not being able to pronounce Yuki correctly at that age.

Years later, when Naruto first met his new Jonin sensei Kakashi, he took in how Kakashi's hair looked like Ukki-san's had, and made the decision that Ukki should go to the older man as a gift. It was hard giving up something he grew and helped for so long but...

But...

The thought of Ukki and Kakashi looking so similar was just too funny. Naruto spent a lot of time staring at Kakashi's hair and laughing as a kid, must to the older man's confusion. The image of Kakashi taking care of the plant that looked like his twin was way too amusing, and it brought laughter to Naruto even now, years and years later.

'Well, I did wait quite a long time before I gave Kakashi the plant. I wanted to be sure it would go to a nice home. I wonder what Kakashi thought when, the day after I gave it, I barged into his home and lectured him on how to take care of it? It must have been a pretty amusing sight, for someone so small but so serious to come into one's home and tell them how to treat a plant.'

Laughter almost bubbled out of Naruto's throat but he kept it down, he didn't want to laugh if there was a guest present. The memory of his past plant filled him with determination. He was glad not all memories of his were terrible.

"Oh!" Naruto's musing was cut short by Ino's gasp. She was looking down at her now empty teacup in shock.

"Would you like some more?"

"Yes, please! This is great tea!" Naruto nodded in agreement as he poured them both some more. Looking into his tea, he could see Ino's reflection in it. Naruto watched, taking in all the changes. She looked nothing like her past self or even the self from the Not-World. It was jarring, to say the least. Nothing too overlap, nothing to miss, it was like she was a stand-alone person not tethered to the chains he made. He thought for a moment.

"You're hair....you cut it." A simple statement. Ino looked confused for just a second before smiling and petting her hair.

"Ah? Oh! Yeah, I had it cut. What do you think? I don't look too weird do I?" Ino did a few poses, letting him see the whole new hairstyle. The long light blond hair was no more. And the whole change was such a difference to the wicked long hair he gave in the Not-World. Now it sat short, way shorter than he ever thought he would see. It ended just at her chin, the curly waves puffing out in a fluffy manner. Both her eyes were uncovered, framed by twisting bangs. Coupled with her pretty face and bright eyes, she looked mature and beautiful.

"You curled it as well?" Naruto asked. Ino waved her hand.

"Nope! A lot of people asked me that too! My hair is naturally curly! I take after my mother in that. I used to straighten my hair every day actually! You can imagine how tiring that could get..." Ino whined while placing her chin on top of interlaces fingers. Naruto nodded in agreement to the tiresome part, but he still was curious.

"What happened that made you change it?" The question seemed to catch Ino off guard. She started to laugh it off but, seemed to change her mind about it and became more there. Ino rubbed the back of her neck and looked away before a small but genuine smile crossed her face.

"Actually, I made a promise to myself, long ago. That I wouldn't cut my hair until the person I liked acknowledged my feelings." Ino looked him in the eyes and seemed...grateful?

"Aha, so yeah, my feelings were recognized. That doesn't mean they were accepted though, but it is what it is. It's actually a long family practice, one of the only traditions that I think they can keep around. But when someone in my family falls in love they will grow their hair out until the reason for their feelings is notices. However long your hair is, is supposed to signify things like how much patience you have and how long you were willing to wait for the one you love. If you end up together, members of my family would then cut off all their hair to signify a new stage of their life with their lover! Some of them gave their cut hair as a present, or weaved it into things like a bracelet or necklace, but I didn't think I wanted to do something like that, you get me? Back in the old days, it might have seemed okay but in this day in age, it's practically a marriage proposal!" Ino shook her head hard at the notion of marriage.

"...You fell in love with someone." Another statement. Naruto bit the inside of his cheek as Ino become more flustered.

"Y-yeah, yeah! I did, haha. I didn't think I would ever fall in love as a little girl, I was too boyish for those types of things or at least that's what the boys on the playground always said! But here I am!"

More questions popped into Naruto's mind. He thought of interrogating her, finding out who she had feelings for and if it was the same person he thought it might be. However, sitting here, across from a lovely young woman who was teaching him new things, who blushed, and eyes filled with longing whenever she thought of the person of her affection...it made him pause. Naruto had a goal in mind he wanted to complete, something to accomplish. But he wasn't going to step all over someone's deep feelings so casually.

"Your feelings...are really strong. I'm sure someday they will be able to reach that other person fully. They might not have accepted them now, but I'm sure, I'm absolutely sure they will someday."

Ino stared, before blushing again and wiping at moist eyes. She never stopped smiling though.

"Thank you, that really means a lot to me. You know, I'll allow you to ask me any questions if you want! You are technically the only other person who knows why I cut my hair...well...there is someone else who probably knows but I won't give him the satisfaction you get me?"

Naruto ponders, hesitating. He didn't want to trample on her feelings, but it would be different if she offered herself. However, he knew, that depending on the answer a new problem awaited. Naruto stood solo on a road, multiple paths stretched before him. Each one filled with varying degrees of mist and darkness, the unknowing bringing more terror than the fog that moved like a stream over his feet. Naruto mentally walked up to one path. Ino's answer...if Ino has fallen in love with that person. The same one he made in the Not-World, then that means he would have to walk this path. The mist cleared over the sign.

-'Maybe the Not-World was a premonition that he now needed to prevent happen.'-

Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat, stretching against the heavy feeling on his shoulders.

"Hmm, is the person of your feelings someone in the village?"

Ino nodded vigorously at that. The ball in Naruto's stomach tightened.

"Yup! I met some cute people while out on missions but I don't think I would be good for long-distance relationships like that." Ino's sparkling eyes lidded at the talk of the person of her affections.

"Mmmmm, is it someone I know?" Naruto's own eyes narrowed, his voice lower in octaves as he listened.

"Ding Ding! It is."

The next question came after a small stretch of silence. No words could describe how tense he was at this moment.

"Is it...Sai?"

The humor faded away from Ino's face as she stared at him in shock, and Naruto leaned over ready to throw up. But then, the woman before him doubled over as a dramatic laughing fit hit her. She clutched her stomach, tears rolling down her face before throwing herself back to roll around on the floor. Naruto at this point, was second-guessing allowing her in his room so easily.

"You're laughing a little too much, don't you think?" He glared down at the woman banging her fist on the ground, feeling some tension leave his back at her expressive face. She looked back over her shoulder, mouth still wide in laughter, but froze in shock under the intense glare she was being given. With astonishing speed, Ino flipped completely and sat at the table properly once more. Back straight and her hands firm on her lap.

"S-sorry! Hehehe. It's just that....hehe-out of everyone you could have guessed you choose that guy!" Naruto blew a bang out of his face as he watched her struggle not to double over again. He put his elbow on the table and leaned his head on his palm.

"Ah? So it's not him you love?" He said it with a bit more attitude the necessary.

"No, not at all!" Ino finished her giggling under the wide and intense eyes watching her.

"Aa~aa don't get me wrong though! He is a good guy, and a talented Shinobi, but we don't really have a connection you get me? Someone can be really good-looking but if I don't feel a connection I don't think I could date them. Besides that, I started growing my hair out long before I met Sai, remember?" Ino gave a patient and gentle smile.

All the air that Naruto was holding in left him. The tension headache that started also retreated making the room feel a bit bigger. He couldn't believe it, he jumped to the gun so fast that he missed a common reason. Naruto's shoulders relaxed drastically, his heartbeat evening out and the path he was on was washed away in a flood of silky mist.

"You're right...that's right. Your hair was pretty long a while back..." Naruto trailed off in thought.

"...Oh, you were growing it out, all the way back then! So...you fell in love with one of the Konoha genin graduates?"

"Yeah, I did! Hehe, though that's an interesting way to say it. We as a group have just called ourselves the Konoha 12."

"Oh is that so? Hmm, well I suppose that leaves twelve people still to guess left then, huh?"

Ino laughed, throwing her head back.

"You know, this feels like the first time we ever engaged one on one. We normally saw each other as 'Sakura's friend' and 'Sakura's teammate.' It's a bit of a shame, considering we have a couple of things in common." Naruto looked over all the arranged flowers and went to pick another one up, thinking how fun it might be to draw it in his new book, though, he couldn't draw that well. So maybe he would write about them instead? Naruto reached for a colorful branch laying on the table, but flinched back as Ino's hand nearly caught his own. She was leaning too far over, invading his personal space. Naruto couldn't hear what she was excitedly saying over the white noise static that grew in his ears as she got closer. The relaxed body of his switched back to tense spring coiled muscles, her movements happening too fast for Naruto to be able to form a single word. He watched, mouth opening, whether to speak or snarl hasn't been decided, as she reached out arms wide in what might be a hug. Just at the absolute last second, a new interruption happened, his door to his room opened once more.

Shikamaru stood on the other side, and Naruto has never seen him look so. Pissed. His brows were furrowed tight together, and eyes that could have cut through a glacier became even colder when he took in the scene. That intense gaze flicked to rest on Ino. Using Chakra, Shikamaru flashed stepped inside just quick enough to grab Ino by the back of her shirt and take her back to the other side of the door. Before closing it, Shikamaru bowed to Naruto polity. A scream was then heard.

Naruto looked around the area to calm himself down a bit. He was a bit worried about the expression Shikamaru had, but was also curious about harsh whispers and whimpers he was just barely hearing. He got up and walked over to his door that everyone was opening today, and peeked out. He couldn't see them, but he could see their reflections in the window. Ino was sitting on the ground holding the top of her head as Shikamaru stood over her, arms crossed, back straight and expression still as fierce as a tiger.

"We. told each other. that we would meet at my place before coming over here. Can you tell me exactly why you are here first?"

Naruto got chills from the rare cold tone Shikamaru was using. He really has never seen him like this!

"Uwaa I thought-"

"You thought what? When you didn't show up we went to your place only to find it a mess. So what were you thinking? If I didn't figure out you went on ahead just how long would you have been here? Actually, tell me, how long have you been here?"

Ino tapped her fingers together and bounced her gaze from the wall to Shikamaru's face.

"I just...I was thinking...I suppose..." She was struggling to form words under such a deadly glare.

"I suddenly had an idea to bring stuff over! Some things that I thought would be useful and that he would like, and I was right! We were having fun! Uhh, but you know me. Once I get an idea I act on it, and I was so sure it was a good idea. I was going to send a message to you but I...forgot. I just piled everything I thought I would need and ran all the way here. And we have been here for almost...two hours...."

"Two hours."

"Uhhh, yes... for two hours..." Ino sunk her head as Shikamaru gave such a deep sigh Naruto wouldn't be surprised if the windows fogged up. Instinctively Naruto quickly trotted back and sat at the table, his back ram rod straight. With a quickening heart, Naruto's eyes moved to all the escape routes he knew of, his fingers tightened around his clothes as he thought of how bad it would be if he got caught in the crossfire. An uneasy and weird feeling rose inside.  

'Wait. Why am I thinking of running away? '

Naruto froze in thought.

'I'm...Am I....afraid? I didn't do anything wrong here. Besides...what am I expecting? For Shikamaru to come in as berate me as well? To get hit on the back of my head?' 

Without thought, Naruto's hand came up to grip the back of his hair, the silky strands getting caught between his fingers easily. He then slammed his arm down onto the table as he hunched over. 

'Out of habit...it's all out of habit. Like a routine...like clockwork. I just expected them to act like this, of course, they would act like this if I expected them to! Am I so weak that I'll just get swept away in familiar motions so easily! Isn't that exactly what happened in the Not-World!? I was taken off guard so quickly, what if I get too relaxed and everything changes again? I need to be better. I need to be smart about things for once in my life! Look at me expecting the same gears to click into place. I can't do this again. I can't be a fool. I just need to be quiet for once and observe better. I just need to-'

"Shut up."

The thoughts, which traveled through his mind with such contempt that they escaped to the physical world, were only meant for himself, to himself. By mistake they were heard, though Naruto didn't realize, it wasn't until the hushed commotion on the other side of the door died down did he look behind himself. Shikamaru was peeking in, an upset or hurt-like expression on his face. Intense blue eyes trained on him in an instant, and with it, Naruto willed his thoughts into reality.

'Come now. Prove it right....prove me right! Come in here and act like I expect you to act!' 

Naruto focused with all the intensity and willpower he had in his entire being for the world to play out in his control. He tried to force his body to become one with the world, and become the wheel that would move it forward. With a deep breath, Naruto turned around and faced the other man head-on. 

However, all of that came to a screeching halt before he could even start. After all, having Shikamaru bow on his knees and plead for forgiveness was something he would never expect to happen. It caught him so off guard that he lost all concentration and staggered in place. Shikamaru, who had his forehead pressed to the ground, didn't say anything about it.

"Naruto, I deeply apologize for anything that happened that may have made you uncomfortable or made you become uneasy. My intentions were for my teammates and me to come over, so that you had a chance to interact with other people, and, to be honest I was hoping that maybe interacting with others may cause you to open up more. I've been deeply worried about you ever since you woke up. I acted selfishly to try and get my way, and I hope you forgive me."

Naruto took in all the words of the bowed man.

'Uwaa, what what what? What's happening here. Why am I being bowed to? I didn't expect this at all it's throwing me into more of a loop than anything!'

"Why are you bowing to me?" Naruto asked the Shikamaru that didn't move.

"I wanted to show just how sincere I was, and this was the only way I knew how."

'The only way you know how? Hmm?? Think about other people and how they would feel to suddenly have something so formal like this happen? Huh?!'

"To be honest, it kind of feels like your mocking me by bowing like that. Doing things on your own...whose to say that I'm angry anyway?"

"Your hair." Came the instant response.

"Hah?"

"Your hair turned red. I know you're angry because it turned red."

'AAHH, SO INCONVENIENT!! How can I be a proper shinobi if my feelings are broadcasted straight from the roots?'

Coughing into his hand Naruto did not let his inner turmoil become obvious. Instead, he teetered over to the door, noting that Shikamaru was so careful that he didn't even let his fingers cross over the divide between rooms. Naruto stood over him until he looked up.

"Hoo, is that so? I'm glad you figured that out, but it may be beyond even you to guess what I'm even upset about."

Shikamaru's eyes widened drastically as he looked up at Naruto, who was having a hard time standing there being looked upon. Normally he was the one who had to look up at others due to his height, it was a weird feeling. Averting his eyes he spotted Ino in the hallway, who quickly looked away in flustering before bowing as well.

"It was a surprise to have someone come in and treat this place like their own..." Ino twitched and squirmed in spot, but Naruto dragged his gaze back to Shikamaru's.

"...However, we managed to have quite an interesting conversation. So I suppose I'll let it slide. This time."

"Conversation?" Shikamaru said it to himself, low and under breath. Naruto could practically see the wheels turn in his head and wondered what all the other man was thinking of. Naruto bent down at the knees, so they were eye level, and put a finger to his lips.

"It's all a se~cret." The mischievous glint in his eyes caused both parties to look up at him in wonderment, Ino looking in awe before beaming. Scanning the rest of the hallway, while awkwardly leaning over the guy who still sat in the way, Naruto tilted back in with a look.

"You're missing one aren't you?"

"Ah!" Shikamaru finally stood up and went to offer a hand to his teammate.

"I told Chouji to wait at the flower shop, I just figured it would be for the best." At this Shikamaru passed him a searching look. Naruto hummed in thought.

"Well isn't it time you go get him? You said you would be bringing them all over, didn't you?"

Shikamaru's breath hitched before nodding his head.

"Understood, we will bring him here."

"Rush along now." Naruto said with a backward wave of his hand. The two were off for a total of six minutes before they were back at his door, this time with Chouji in tow. The other man had a giant basket in his arms with good-smelling food scenting out. Naruto, a little tired already, waved them in. Preparing to put on another act of brave face. 

Chapter Text

While they were gone Naruto swept his eyes over the room. The medium size wagon and numerous flower arrangements still sat there, and oddly enough, he thought, oddly enough, now that it was just him the new things were a tad bit unwelcome. They come with Ino, though now that he was alone he couldn't help but twitch his nose as they gave off a scent that wasn't his. The flowery scent was as strong. The damp scent of the Yamanaka Flower shop came off of the cart and vases similar to the smell of fresh soil and dew drops. Naruto's nose twitched again as he sat on his bed, the action fluffing his own natural scent up to clash with the others. 

'It's the scent of the outside world.' A voice supplied in his mind.

'You don't know what the outside holds anymore, do you? They brought something into your space. Brought the unknown...filling the unknown...let it all swirl into a spell.' 

"Shut up for a moment," Naruto snapped at his thoughts with a click as he swung his legs. His unfocused eyes stared at nothing, lost in a trance he imagined the floor filling up with smoke and spells, his legs stirring the cauldron as he wished for the presence of the bird back. 

'I wonder if Iruka will know about all that happened today.' Naruto sighed as his head felt listless. Tucking his knees into his chest he could feel the warmth of his breath and the chill of the condensation.

'Will those two...be keeping watch again? Do they come every night? I don't know what I would do if the room I'm beginning to love was unknowingly a cage. I seem to be able to walk around the inside as I please though. So is it just the outside that's unsafe?'

A pull at his mind alerted him to his guests re-approaching. The added 's' at the end of guests made him twitch. Naruto's eyes almost rolled back completely as he gave a worn-out and loud groan and practically melted out of his bed. Abruptly had an idea. Naruto quickly stood from his melted form and sprinted into the closet, skillfully running the back way towards the entrance. He waited no more than a second before the front door was slid open, Shikamaru in the lead. Naruto waited in the dark bathroom, the light from the hallway spilled from the cracked door and onto his face.  With another step towards the door, he watched them all file in. It left some type of feeling in his tummy, standing there and not being noticed, even when he wasn't trying hard to hide. First Shikamaru, who looked back at the other two with an even stare down. Then it was short-haired Ino, scratching her cheek from her earlier flusterment but walking with light and refreshed steps. And then...there came Chouji. The other man passed by quickly, and Naruto was so busy watching Shikamaru that he almost forgot about him, but he could never forget about the size. Chouji passed by like a titan, a tower taller than Naruto could ever remember. Long, spiky brown hair flowed behind him, a soft 'click' of armor that the other was wearing, and the creaking of footsteps, and then they were making their way down the hall. Naruto caught sight of a woven basket someone was carrying in the group. They slowed down as they came to the halfway point between the front door and his room. Chouji and Ino with practice steps and familiarity split apart to settle by Shikamaru's side. Naruto took a moment to step out and view them better. They all had their backs turned, the two learning closer to hear what Shikamaru was saying. He couldn't see any of their faces, and for that, it seemed he gained courage. Naruto stood the whole way out, hand still holding the door frame as he watched them from afar.

'Standing like this...makes me think of all the times I was separated from the other kids as a child.' Naruto narrowed his eyes, before sliding back in and making his way back around.

'I used to hate that feeling! The pain of not being able to be around others,...always feeling like I was one step behind the rest of humanity. However...now, it almost doesn't hurt that much. It feels almost nice.'

Walking quickly on the balls of his feet he was almost like a fairy traveling over water. Graceful, determined, unbothered by the objects of the world. The change in the air was instantaneous as he came to his room's door, knowing just on the other side he would have to face three people. Three people.

He already saw that Chouji changed. His hair and outfit were different, but more than that, his body was different. The layover image that lapped at his figure was nowhere near the same height or size as the man he knew was on the other side. The vast change made his head hurt and Naruto didn't even see his face yet. He fought to keep the snarl from forming on his face by putting his arm on the door and burying his face from view. From his point of view, he saw sweat droplets fall on the ground near his feet, causing him to suddenly remembered the wounds on his feet. The bandages were becoming dark on the bottom, and an itchy feeling was building from the scabs. Naruto 'tsked' before lifting his head as the shadows of everyone gathered on the other side of the door. 

"You're back now then, huh?" Naruto asked before a noise could be made. Small intake of breath.

"Yes, we are back. All of us...Do you mind if I open the door?" Shikamaru's voice was almost soothing in familiarity. Naruto grunted and take a few steps to the side as Shikamaru opened the door, only wide enough for his body to fit through. Naruto couldn't see past him or into the hallway at all. Shikamaru blinked and looked around the room as if looking for something. Naruto called out softly and, standing so close to the side of the door, he swore he saw Shikamaru jump. The other man jerks his head to the side, took one look at Naruto, and that damn analytical look of his came back. Something like a deep understanding crossed his face before he tilted his head to silently ask if he could come in. Naruto took a breath of his own and stood back to allow it.

Only Shikamaru came in. So quickly that if Naruto blinked at the right moment he would have thought he teleported. The door was shut firmly behind him. Naruto furrowed his brows.

...He knew that the other two were here. Isn't it a little rude to leave them out like that? Shikamaru took in the room, or more importantly, took in the items that Ino had still left behind. The little wagon cart and many flowers seemed to stick out compared to the rest of the room. 

"Hey, I was thinkin'," Shikamaru began in a drawl, "it may be better if we stay on the outside of the door, you know? But not like, leave or anything. We can just sit and arrange everything on the outside and you can stay in here, or even come out if you're feeling up to it. No pressure." Shikamaru tried his absolute best to look nonchalant, with his hands in his pockets and shoulders relaxed. The gaze he shot Naruto was from the side and didn't linger. 

'He's thinking of having those guys stay out of this room while letting me still talk to them?' Naruto hummed in thought, the image of Shikamaru bowed and fingers not crossing the threshold flashed in his mind before an image of his past self appeared.

At this moment, the past him would have a rebuttal already tearing out his throat. He would stomp his feet and loudly yell, putting on a big show to deny his discomfort. Waving away the question like it was an insult and pushing down any of his insecurities. The reason why he would feel uncomfortable...

Naruto eyed Shikamaru, who wasn't facing him fully. He had one hand on the back of his neck as he gazed out of Naruto's window. 

"You know," Naruto started in a serious tone, causing the other man to look back at him. 

"I actually...don't like being around a bunch of other people, contrary to how I may seem. I never really have...which may seem strange given how much I wanted others to not know that about me. These feelings go back to a long time ago, before the academy even. This type of feeling...probably....came from the orphanage." 

Naruto also looked out the window, anything to not have to acknowledge the only other person in the room. That word leaving his lips tingled with an unpleasant feeling. It felt so wrong to say it out loud. Faintly, he recognized that he could see both their reflections in the window but didn't dwell on the knowledge. 

"I didn't want to be alone back then...but I didn't want to be a burden to other people and make them hate me. Throughout that...I also got used to being avoided. After a while, you learn not to reach out to others anymore after you keep getting the same reactions every time. It's a complicated feeling. Of wanting to be alone so you don't drive your precious people away." 

Naruto didn't want to be alone forever. So he never really told others about himself too deeply. He didn't want to say anything that may upset other people, however, it seems all he had was sorrowful tales to tell. If his past was ever brought up the reaction he got from other people taught him that it may be better not to say anything at all. That strange look in people's eyes as they stared at him...the uncertainty on what they should say or how to react. The past him desperately didn't want to chase away the new friends he had, a difficult task as it seemed like just being himself was enough to turn others away. 

But Naruto is no longer the same person from the past as he is now. He is no longer that child, even in this body. He has lived a long, long life, even if those memories in the Not-Word were fake, he still experienced them fully. It felt sorrowful, to come to terms with the loss of a version of himself. But that version of him was a terrible version that he didn't want to ever become. Naruto swallowed the heavy feeling in his chest and looked back up to Shikamaru, faithful that the man who was once his advisor would understand a little bit of what he was trying to convey. 

"....We can try that...for just a little bit." They made eye contact then, and a terrific flow of energy and emotions were shared between the two like a melody. Shikamaru's eyes were wider than Naruto has ever seen, all the brown and gold visible at that moment. Then, something seemed to have been ignited in him as fierce determination set into Shikamaru's features. The taller man walked into Naruto's personal space at a fast pace and loomed over him with a complicated expression. Eyes glittered as Shikamaru opened his mouth, leaning down closer to Naruto with both of his arms coming up as if he was about to touch him. Naruto was still awestruck by his eyes, and gave a tiny intake of breath at the quick movements of the lazy man. Thank the gods that Shikamaru was able to come back into focus at the last moment, as he leaned back in a swoop, and the hand going to touch Naruto was expertly moved to aim for the door at the last second. Shikamaru all but slammed his hands on the door, then the door handle, then decided he wanted to lean casually against the door, at last, all the while opening and closing his mouth, the only sound in the room being the ghost of words he couldn't figure out. Finally, Shikamaru stood still, arm stretched on the door and hand on his hip as if he were laying on his side as he tried to act cool.

"Mmm? Uh yeah, yeah! That will be good then. Uh...you know, actually never mind. I-" Naruto almost laughed, he really did, as he continued to watch Shikamaru until he smoothed things over in his mind and pulled himself back together.

"Alright, good! I'll let-oh shit they're still out here-I'll let them know and we will start setting up, you can open the door whenever you feel like it." Naruto nodded and was about to turn away when a gentle tug on his sleeve made him stop. Shikamaru was halfway out the door, the top half of him still leaning in.

"And, I wanted to let you know, I don't mind, if you tell me about your past. And I definitely would never mind, if you told me about your feelings. You know I won't judge you for anything." And then the leaning willow tree of a man was back on the other side of the door. Naruto could hear them talking and the chorus of 'yeah!' when Shikamaru told them what was happening, yet he stood still on the spot. In all his life...he never really had anyone say they wanted to hear about... those kinds of things. Or more to say, no one in the village had ever made an attempt. 

'Uwah!' Naruto put his hand on his cheek and blushed, feeling embarrassed beyond belief. 

'The only person I talked to about these things is Sasuke and Gaara! It feels so weird saying it out loud. I regret it! I regret saying anything! I wish I could take it all back right now!'  

Naruto quickly started pacing in place as he heard the commotion of the setup outside the door. 

'Mmmm! To open the door or to not open the door.' He frantically thought, crossing his arms-wait he can't do that. Putting his hand on his hip Naruto pondered, before walking towards the door-

"Hmmm!-" And sharply turning away from it and walking away. His walking got faster as he changed his mind again, making a big U-turn and coming right back to the door where he sat on his knees. Naruto brought his hand up to open the door, but an invisible force made him stop.

"Mmmm..." Naruto's hand continuously reached for the door, tapping it while he tried to make up his mind, before collapsing over his knees and pressing his face into the floor.

"mm!" He squeaked into the wood.

'...From down here I can feel the cold air come in.' Naruto mused and turned his head, listening to the conversation going on outside.

"Have you been over there yet?"

"No, but I really wanna go! It sounds so interesting!"

"Yeah yeah, it totally is! But be careful about the one guy who works there-" Chouji's way of talking was still a little boyish, but had gained a deep notch in sound. Naruto rigidly brought himself back up in thought, then carefully... slowly...he opened the door a crack. The person sitting right outside was Shikamaru, who gave him a soft smile but continued the conversation.

"Mmhm, yeah, so are you hungry?" The last part was directed at him, and the scent of good warm food in the air made his stomach twist painfully. Naruto nodded.

"Yosh! let's get you something then~"

"Oh, I got his right here!"

"Carefully were you set that!"

There was shifting and rumbling to the point that Naruto almost peeked out, then his vision was covered in white.

"Here you go!"

"...Eh..." Naruto blinked, and blinked some more, before backing up a little to see what was placed in front of him was a bowl filled with a giant tower of rice.

"Aahhh...."

"Idiot, that's too much!" "That's too big of a serving!" Came the scolding from both of Chouji's teammates from...somewhere beyond the mound.

"Naruto may be able to eat a lot in one sitting but this may be the limit, Chou." Ino was still there. The leaning tower of rice swayed, emitting an intense aura. A few pieces fell off from the top and fell to the table.

"Take some back, here!"

"Ehhh~, no no leave it! It's all fine right?"

"How did it all fit in the box..."

"You should know better than to ask that Ino, it's a clan secret technique after all." Came a serious reply.

Naruto paused for a beat before he swiped some rice with his finger and put it in his mouth, only to have his privacy mountain shift away from him.

"Ah..." Naruto watched sadly as the leaning tower of Rice-san was taken out of his view. The arguing between the three friends continued. Naruto looked to Shikamaru and watched his profile, taking note of the new earring, one that dangled in his ear, and the way his eyes would roll and shine during a conversation. He wasn't sure if the food was coming back, but he took this opportunity to drill his eyes into the side of Shikamaru's head as the other has done to him as a form of revenge. 

'There. How does it feel to be stared at when you're just trying to live your life?! I'm going to observe you so hard.'

The glare was harsh enough to be noticed rather quickly. Shikamaru glanced over before raising both of his palms up. The arguing seemed to grow bigger, but, by the time Shikamaru's hands fall back to the table, the very second they touched, all argument stopped.

"Ahem." Shikamaru cleared his throat. "Chouji-"

To Shikamaru's surprise, Chouji interrupted, something he apparently never did base on his expression.

"I will not fold! I know it may seem like a lot but, you know the traditions that my clan practices! Everyone always gets equal portions for all meals to show equality no matter who you are or where you come from. Because we believe food can unite people from all over the world together. This only changes in the privacy of the home, with our closest clan members. Someone will go around with a bowl, and everyone who wants to contribute will pick up some of their own food, bless it, and put it in the bowl, which is then given to someone they all respect. This is considered an honor you two! It has a deep meaning to it!"

All parties were quiet after the outburst. Shikamaru closed his eyes, before giving Chouji a sigh and smile.

"Aa~aa, sorry buddy. It slipped my mind completely. I know how important this is for you." Then he turned to Naruto.

"Naruto, I want to know if you are fine with eating this. It has meaning to Chouji and his clan, but I don't want you to feel like you have to eat it if it's too much. You don't have to do anything if it feels like too much, yeah?"

Naruto looked away, thinking how to himself it was just rice.

"What's the meaning, exactly?" Shikamaru opened his mouth but Chouji was the one to answer his question.

"Ah well, it's nothing scary you see. All this rice was gathered from my clan members, who wanted to show gratitude and respect to you! Each one of them blessed their piece with good intentions like health, good fortune, and happiness, and this is the bowl where it all mixes together to come to you! This top part here is from me, you see! So what do you think? Will you...accept it?" The nervousness was very evident in the other's voice. Naruto looked straight ahead to the back door.

"It isn't about whether I will accept it but rather if you really want to give something so precious to someone like me. I don't recall doing anything that would garner something like that, nor do I do things in hope of getting offerings in return. I'll eat any good food sent my way, but you're the one that needs to decide if you really want to give me something like this." Naruto wanted him to really think about these decisions, especially because the object had significance to it, and planned was to wait as Chouji thought about it. However, a fist hitting the table and a raising voice startled him out of his patience.

"Of course, we want to give it to you!!" Chouji yelled. The sun wasn't playing its part so Naruto couldn't see any shadows on the other side, only the voice.

"I absolutely want you to take it! It would mean a lot to me, but more importantly, you deserve it! I wanted to thank you at some point, and I guess now it's alright, but thank you for everything you did! For us, for the village, for those you deem precious. I-I always admired that about you. How you always do what you want to do, regardless of what other people think. Ah but-" Chouji stumbled in his words as Shikamaru, who had his hands raised again, gave him a pointed look. "Anyway this isn't just from me, like I said, but as a thank you from my clan, for...everything."

Naruto sat in silence, thinking about what he should do.

'So, it's a thank you of some kind for the war? I still don't really know what exactly is going on but, food is food. And if Chouji is insisting this much on me having it, then I guess it's fine.'

"Alright, then I'll take it. Though, I don't have as big of an appetite as I normally do yet...is it alright to put some of this aside for later?"

"Yeah! We can definitely do that. As I always say, yesterday's leftovers or tomorrow's new creation!"

This sentence made the other two laugh, and Shikamaru loosened his shoulders as they helped dish out more appropriate size servings. Soon Naruto had a better size helping put in front of him. The team worked in tandem, passing more bowls between each other with Shikamaru handling anything going Naruto's way. Something hot was opened and poured, the smell enough to make Naruto almost drool, and then the finished Oyakondon was placed before him. Naruto scooted it carefully in his hand, feeling the heat from the bowl on his hand and letting the steam linger up to warm his face. Wasting no more time, he dug in with energy and nearly melted by how good it was. He could feel the warm broth travel down into his stomach where it rested like liquid gold. So focused on the food he didn't see the exchange of glances and soft looks sent his way, though he somehow still finished first even with one hand. Not that it seemed to be any problem, he thought, as he munched away on the small plate of fried lotus roots placed next to him.

He didn't realize it, but the happiness at being able to eat food this good made him sway and dance a little to himself.

'Delicious, finally some good fucking food.' That wasn't him discounting the ramen Iruka brought over, but the meals he had in between the ramen in this were mainly nurti-bars. No comfort food like this.

"It's good isn't it?" Shikamaru asked gently in between his own bites.

"Mm?" Naruto looked over from working on his third fried lotus root before nodding, looking back down.

"It really is good. You have a real talent. If you ever opened up a shop I'm sure it wouldn't take long before you were well-known all around and spoken with praise. It  may take some time, but I'd probably be there every day to boost your sales." It was meant as a compliment even if the last part was sort of mumbled to himself. There was a pause before a warbly 'thank you' was heard.

'It's a shame but I don't really know how to talk to Chouji. Shikamaru and Chouji were about the only other kids that didn't treat me too differently, although there was still some hesitation. It was always Shikamaru that talked to me while Chouji stood behind him being shy. It wasn't until the later year of the academy did we start to talk more...'

He would have never guessed that those two would end up becoming people he cared for, people he could call his friends. It was such a strange feeling.

As the team talked amongst themselves Naruto found it in him to slide open the door just a little bit more, just a little bit enough to see Ino, who was sitting on the opposite side of the table. Her eyes were dancing and they lit up when she spotted him, but Naruto didn't return the look. Shikamaru really had a good idea. His room still kept the semblance of solitude. While gazing out the window Naruto spotted the round little bird appearing again, and decided to give it some more food. He stuffed a lotus root in his mouth, thought about it, swallowed, and stuffed another one in while breaking off a little bit at the end. He got up and wandered over.

'Here you go, little guy. Maybe I should get some healthy food so you don't turn into a ball?' Naruto smiled softly as the bird ate. The smile was in enjoyment but it wavered at the feel of a gaze on his back. It was intense enough to make him sweat a little, but he knew exactly who it was.

'Does he think I won't feel such an intense gaze? You always look at me when you think I can't see ya know.' The little birdie almost seemed to sense his discomfort, the two looked at each other before both tilted their heads as Naruto let out a small chuckle.

'This isn't so bad. Well, it still is something that two out of the three here don't look like anything I thought they would, and their appearances still throw me off a little. Though I suppose it helps to try and narrow down what this world actually is.'

He turned his gaze away from the window and made his way back to his spot, confidence returning to him. Naruto sat down and grabbed the door, stopping when he noticed a lot more lotus roots on his place than he left, but he ignored that for now and opened the door a tad bit more, then all the way. Chouji looked surprised, but that could have been for any number of things including Naruto's own appearance, or from seeing him awake, or anything else that changes with him that he didn't even realize yet. Whatever the case may be Naruto didn't care, or to say couldn't focus on it, as his breath was stolen while taking in the giant on the other side.

The overlay was heavy, heavy enough that he almost couldn't see Chouji underneath, if not for the fact that the Not-World Chouji was significantly smaller than this one. That wild and spiky brown hair fell long and carefree. A cute butterfly hairband, from what Naruto could only instinctively assume came from Ino, held back unruly bangs. What caught Naruto the most was Chouji's face, his face, didn't look like he remembered at all. Not from a Not-world and not from the past and Naruto was struck with the realization that he never really looked at Chouji closely in the face before, not since they were children. The spirals on his cheeks were there, as they always were. Though his eyes were kind and droopy, and striking green and teal. The cool colors holding more warmth than anyone could hope to achieve. It was like it was the first time he ever looked Chouji square in the face, and Naruto knew that he spent his life tracing his eyes around the red spirals more than taking in Chouji and that act was making him pay now. His act of not looking people in the eyes and taking them in was catching up to him quickly.

Though he knew why. He knew exactly why he never looked the kindhearted and shy kid in the face. Because Naruto was not used to having bright and pure eyes gaze at him, to look at him like he was human so openly. It was terrifying! It was something he never got! And it made him scared, it made him distrustful. Wondering if the other one was looking at him like that to catch him off guard. To laugh in his face at the end and say 'you really fell for it, you think anyone would want to be your friend?'

Those same eyes were here now, looking at him in such a gentle manner that Naruto nearly cried right then and there. Instead, he looked down and narrowed his eyes through the other layer that had not yet faded.

"You're clothing...look nice."

'That was pretty lame, even I can admit that...' His mind instantly smacked back. Though it was true, if not a little weird. Chouji now was wearing a sleeveless red Haori, with a layer of an armor sheet and fishnet underneath, leaving his biceps bare, and god they were huge. Naruto was sure that even Shikamaru's long deft fingers wouldn't even be able to wrap around them with both hands. There were soft looking at first glance but there was definitely muscle there. And at the bottom forearm, Naruto was memorized by the armor found there, the gold glittery cracks running along red-ish silver arm plates.

'It must be made specifically for people in his clan...'

It was interesting, it was nice. For a second Naruto knew that if his curiosity got the best of him and he asked to touch the armor, that the kind man would allow it. Would probably not even look uneasy either.

"Yeah, I helped him pick it out! He was a little shy about showing "so much skin" but I told him it would be great! And now look, see what did I tell you~" Ino teased her now-blushing teammate with a soft coo before turning back to Naruto with a glint in her eye.

"You knooooow, I wouldn't mind helping you pick out outfits now and then."

"Ah, that may be too much trouble," Naruto replied. Ino's serious face was putting him off.

"Not at all, in fact-" she leaned dangerously over the table, "-I always wanted to dress you up! There are sooo many outfits you would just look darling in! Maybe something with lace, oh but I'm sure frills would suit you the most! Something definitely flowing! Ah! Maybe even a sailor outfit~" Ino put both hands to her cheeks and wiggled in spot, letting out a small kya as she apparently let loose the thoughts she has been holding back. Naruto honestly didn't know what to do. He looked to Shikamaru only to make the other jump, his hand that was outstretched hovering above Naruto's own bowl froze.

'Did he really think I wouldn't notice him giving me more lotus root? Just look at the size of the pile!'

They stared at each other for a solid minute before Shikamaru oh-so-carefully opened his chopsticks hovering over his bowl so the lotus root in them dropped in before stealthily retracting his arm.

'...Maybe I am being tested by some God after all.'

"You all are ridiculous you know?" Naruto heaved, making Shikamaru smile.

"Aye, that's right. This team is filled with nothing but ridiculous people doing ridiculous things-"

"-That just means you should stay out of our way!-" Ino added.

"-Unless you want to be dragged in and become ridiculous yourself!" Chouji finished it all off with a beam so bright Naruto had to look away. The team was so close to each other, they bonded so well. It made him ache to be close to others just like that.

'I wonder where Sasuke is now?'

"Um..." He started, causing all other bodies to quiet down.

"I...do not much about fashion, but I do like flowing clothes. Though one of the things I always admired was those fur kimonos. You know, the one with white fur on the collar? They look really fluffy and nice, and I have seen some with very pretty colors." Naruto said the last part low as he thought of those garments. The three other people looked surprised, shared a look with each other, and then smiled.

"Mm! I like those too! Maybe one day we can go together and pick one out!" Ino said, clasping her hands together. Naruto nodded back. The air was a little shifty at the thought of him going out, but he could see from the corner of his eye how excited Shikamaru was at the prospect.

"Yeah yeah, I also- I also want to go out to eat with you!" Naruto looked at Chouji in surprise.

"Me?"

"Yeah, I want to go eat ramen with you! And try more food!"

"Oh? I don't think I would be good in that kind of area. I'm not a food connoisseur or anything like that." Naruto waved his hand at the notion.

"Not at all! You can pick out each season in a bowl of ramen and can tell if something is added or even if something is off! I know you like ramen the most, and I'm not really expecting you to develop an interest in other food, but I thought it would be fun going out with you! Especially if Ino or Shika can't." Chouji scratched the side of his face and looked away shyly. The act was so different from the giant's appearance.

"Now now there isn't anything to be afraid of! It would be just a fun outing for you two, not like a trial of anything." Ino flapped her arms and leaned dramatically onto her teammate.

"Though you'd still be surprised about how important he takes food. This one time I was helping make dumplings and I folded the ends unevenly, you would think I committed a crime! I stood there being lectured on how 'uneven dumplings would ruin the presentation of the plate!"

"It will ruin the presentation!"

"I know I know, I learned my lesson!"

The three of them got into it, with Shikamaru acting as a mediator. Everything seemed light and airy, to the point where even Naruto felt like he was being affected by the atmosphere this team created. He almost found himself laughing in between observing everyone and their actions, and missing his own teammate. Chouji turned back to Naruto, a warm gentle light in his eyes. Naruto turned to face him more, reading off of his face that he was about to say something important.

"Well, when it comes to enjoying ramen I don't want to barge my way in. I know how important it is to you. How a bowl of ramen was the first ever kind gift you ever got."

"..."

Naruto stared, the last of the bigger man's words coming out louder in his ears than was spoken. The lightheaded feeling that was forming in his mind dissipated as he felt the small smile on his face slowly drop. His brow furrowed, and Naruto could suddenly feel the streams of cold air trickling in from the windows, filtering between the warmth of the food like slim whisps coming to wrap around him. A cold, heavy, uncomfortable ball formed in his stomach, big enough to hurt the way he breathed, turning and turning inside his belly. A drumming was forming inside of him to the point that it felt like his whole body was vibrating at the same beat, his fingers, his heart, and even his eyes. Naruto abruptly stood up, clattering the things around him on the table. In three steps he was upon Chouji, walking onto the table rather than going around. Naruto looked down at the other man, the man who at the moment seemed the exact opposite of him. Warm, friendly teal eyes widen as Naruto's own bore into him with an agenda. Witch's brew blue, swirling and swirling as they took in every light there was.

"How did you know that?" Naruto murmured. His voice while low cracked with emotion. 

"Um-" 

He stared impassively down at the squirming man and waited till his words were actually understood. Chouji instinctively sought help from Shikamaru, a guilty and apologetic look on his face. Naruto didn't like that he wasn't being looked at that moment, so he tucked his knees and crouched down directly at eye level. 

"Hey, you. I asked you...how did you know that. How did you know something that I know I never told anyone before." 

Naruto's naturally high voice sounded so wrong and downright disturbing coming out in the monotone voice, going down a few notches with each word. Chouji looked scared. He opened his mouth, staring at what Naruto would guess was Shikamaru while a bunch of sounds escaped his throat. Naruto, not once, looked away. His eyes threatened to swallow up the other man whole.

"I-uh...uh-um. T-t-the ramen chief..." Chouji's voice waved incredibly, his nervousness almost drowning out his words.

"Oh?" Naruto leaned in close to the shivering man.

"The, the ramen chief told me...about it. While you were...asleep, I-uh...I heard it from him."

"..."

After a long moment, Naruto stood back up and took a few steps backward, crossing the barrier once more between his room and the hall as he jumped down. His vision was swimming far too much for him to focus on anyone. The colors kept changing, and everything felt tight. He wouldn't be surprised if Chouji's long hair grew even more, overtaking the very corners of the room, wrapping itself around Naruto's body tight, and strangling him. 

'The people at the ramen stand told him...'

'That's how it is...huh...'

It took a moment, and a lot of strength, but Naruto made it back to the present. He could finally make out the three guests, two of which were cleaning up and shooting concerned looks and worried expressions. Shikamaru, the ever-dutiful Shikamaru, was standing close to Naruto, watching him while biting his thumb.

"Are you alright? Is there anything I can-"

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked. Pointing to the two cleaning up.

"Ah, well...perhaps it is time for us to go? We don't want to overstay. Besides, you still need some rest to regain all your strength. If you do it won't be long until you're running the streets once more." Shikamaru gave a genuine smile. Ino came up behind him and looked at the things she brought over that were still sitting in the room. Naruto stepped aside to allow her in.

'I might not get better if people keep running away every time something upsets me.' That is what he wanted to say. On one hand, he was happy that they were leaving, happy for the quiet that should come and the time he would have to think more. On the other hand, if people keep rushing away like this it will be forever until he could get more information. What should he do?

"No." His commanding voice stopped everyone in their tracts. They all looked at him.

"There is no need to high tail it out of here, for today. It was probably difficult to carry all those things here right? It can be just a few more minutes." The two parties looked to Shikamaru. In the end, while Naruto was busying himself with his teapot, it was decided that they would stay for some tea. Luckily, the other three had their own teacups with them so Naruto didn't have to use his just yet, and even more luckily it seemed Chouji brought some dessert.

"Here, it's Monburan! Perfect for this time of year." Chouji was happily putting the chestnut dessert in front of him, his eyes still not looking directly at his face. Naruto listened attentively while he ate as Chouji explained how he made it. The team was either good actors, or there just wasn't much that could ruin their mood. Soon the three teammates were standing straight in a line in front of Naruto's door as he stood on the other side, noting the Chouji had to duck to see into the room due to his height. They all straightened and bowed, bidding goodbye. Shikamaru was the lone one to linger behind, Ino and Chouji's laughter echoing down the hall.

"Sorry..."

"There isn't anything to apologize for." Naruto still had the impassive look on his face.

"But-"

"It was fun. It was nice, and the food was really good. And it seems like I'll have a lot of leftovers to enjoy. So it's all fine Shikamaru, you did well." Perhaps being around Kakashi so much caused it, but Naruto at that moment stood on his tiptoes and patted Shikamaru on the head. Shikamaru's eyes widened before a small blush crossed his face. One of those smiles that scrunched up his eyes came, and Naruto was glad that he wasn't beating himself up for anything.

"Thanks, Naruto. Oh? Are those the scrolls I left over?" Both their attention was directed to the scroll peeking out from under the chair. It somehow unraveled and rolled farther away from where it was hidden.

"Mm, yeah. I was taking a look."

"Great! Good, I'm happy about that. I made sure to write down anything I thought you would need to help you."

'How difficult will that be to read through?'

Naruto kept the thought to himself. He watched Shikamaru's back as the other said goodbye once more and began walking off when a thought struck him.

"Hey. When will you be back again?"

"Huh?" Shikamaru turned back, the light from the windows playing across his face, making his eyes look like gold. Naruto's words processed in his mind, making Shikamaru give an intake before that same cute smile of his blossomed once more.

"Whenever you want! If it's fine, I can come back in two days to see how you are?"

Naruto thought for a moment. "Come back tomorrow, we'll see how I feel. If you want."

"Yeah!" Shikamaru's eyes dazzled as he waved and jogged the rest of the way out to catch up with his teammates. Naruto waited till he left, the last thing he saw before he closed his door were the fogged-up windows from the delicious food they all ate.

Chapter Text

“Oh, fuck.”

Those words came out deep and guttural, lingering in the air for an abnormal amount of time. Biting his lip (it tasted like salt) Naruto ran to the center of the room feeling like it splintered in. The whole room felt smaller than before taking away the content air that was there before and replacing it with pure irritability.

Everything felt awful. He walked towards the bed however he didn't want t feel anything touching him right now. The blankets felt grainy and coarse. Naruto stumbled to the folded table and clutched his face as the scent of the flower arrangements entered his senses like an attack. Having them here felt like the people were still here-in this too-small room. Quick, stumbled steps; trying to aim for the back door even with a hand covering his face. The door was kicked open in a frenzy as Naruto fell out, missing the drop-down and tripping over the rock there only for him to throw his head back to only see the sky.

It didn't work, it didn't work. Naruto's breathing labored as he took in the sky. Being out in the wide-open like this away from the shrinking room made his stomach turn. It was too open, he was too exposed. The sky was as infinite as his anxiety. A thousand invisible eyes were looking down at him with judging eyes. 

He was pacing anyways at the end. Turning around and around in his room like a beast. Naruto tried to break off the pattern, but was unable to decide what he wanted, which caused his whole body to do one big jerking motion of confusion. He let out a yell, something that was supposed to be a loud grunt turn guttural groan as Naruto did the only other thing he could think of to do. Tearing open the curtains and bursting open the window. Instantaneously, the room began to breathe a bit. He guessed the window was the sweet spot of out but not actually out. not enough to relax but enough to exhale just the slightest. He plopped down hard on the ground, crossing his legs and bouncing them. 

“Mmmᵐᵐᵐᵐ fuck.” 

'I'm the one that allowed them in, I invited them here. It feels so shameful to be this annoyed at their presence, and what's more, is that I don't know where all this irritating feeling came from. It feels uncontrollable.'

Naruto swayed his knees side to side in a far reach, moaning as his back cracked from the motion. 

'What is going on here? The old man Teuchi said something about me to other people? What the hell? Did he discuss it on his own...or did someone go ask about me? Wait wait wait! The important part here is that the old man knew such information! I never said anything about it. The people of Ichiraku and I are in some way close given how ofter I have eaten there, but old man Teuchi has never asked me deep questions about myself, or supplied such information of his own. I mean if he hasn't seen me in a while he will ask around and greets me with excitement...In the end, I feel like we have a good relationship without knowing the deeper parts of each other. Still, ugh! I can't shake this feeling. How exactly did the old man know that?' 

A harsh breath was blown out of his mouth. Before he could plunge deeper into his spiraling movement caught his eye. Naruto got up slowly and zombie-like before heading to the window. He kneed on the seats and looked out to the vast grey field of clouds in the sky, tracing them to find what he saw before the little red leaf once again made itself known, riding on a wind current before dipping down low, only to be blown back up again into the sky. Naruto watched, amused at how this symbol of death held so much life in the dark sky while a chilling wind gently blew his hair back. Sadly its dance ended when the leaf was pushed down too hard by the wind, and it landed in the small pond that was also located outback. He hadn't really taken it in yet, but there was an interesting area here. For the first time, Naruto actually sized up the fence that encaged the yard. It was tall, tall enough that all he could see were the top parts of homes and roofs. A valley of buildings waiting on the other side. Inside, though, this enclosed area was a beautiful but simple garden. On the far end was a decent size pond, surrounded on one side by a mound of different rocks and boulders of various heights and sizes. On the outer side of the fence, just a breath away was a typical towering tree that can be found scattered everywhere through Konoha. Its long limbs dipped to shadow the water. There was an equal amount of plant life as there was space to do more. It was quite something! Though Naruto stared at the fence, wondering if it was to keep him in or to keep others out. After some thought he spoke aloud: 

“I wonder if an alarm would go off if I cross that fence.” he said under his breath.

Well, there were two people at the front entrance that looked to be keeping watch. Said a voice in his head. 

'My actions so far are probably suspicious, but I'm not at a point where I want to mention the Not-World. I feel like the second it leaves my lips I may have to deal with the shift again and right now, I'm nowhere mentally prepared or strong enough to handle that. If I were to suffer that experience of becoming nothing all over again I may break. Still...I hate the idea of living in a fake world again. What about-'

As Naruto thought he lowered his foot back down to the floor, still facing the window. The second he put pressure on the balls of his feet an excruciating amount of pain and lightning tingles shot through him.

“Ah! Damn, damn! aaaahhhHHH that hurts!”

His feet hurt! They still hurt?! His feet still hurt like a bitch! Lifting them closer and turning them around all he saw were bandages darkly colored in dried blood. Naruto frantically tried to pry them off only to face a challenge as the dried blood turned into a type of crust, sticking his skin and the bandages as one. He was gonna have to peel the bandages apart layer by layer, and then somehow separate them from his own flesh without causing more wounds. 

“Hell, I'm about to peel all my skin off at this rate!” Naruto spoke quickly to himself before he sucked in a breath and began to unravel, not feeling better by the action. He knew he had to clean them up, especially considering that he couldn't even see the cuts anymore from all the dried scabs and blood. So he clambered up to sort of half hobble/half crawl over to the medical cabinets. Thankfully he found something to scrub at his feet and ointment to help his skin.

"Thank fucking Gods I have a medical teammate." Naruto harshly muttered as he was able to recognize what was good to use and what not to use. 

“Cuts like these would have been healed already if Kurama was awake. I wonder if I can wake him up from his deep sleep just to heal me~”

It wouldn't be just to heal him if he was able to wake Kurama up. But making jokes can sometimes help a person out, and if when Kurama wakes up Naruto is definitely going to act spoiled towards him.

The trees outside moved sharply from a sudden gust, sending out a couple more fall leaves to fly. Naruto kept shooting glances at the sight as he worked. It was really hard not to get distracted by the beautiful glimmering colors, but right now he could only focus on one red thing. The smell of copper was heavy in the air, and the dried blood stuck to his fingertips and made them feel dry and chapped. The floor was becoming a mess now. Flake, flake, flake, and more flakes of his own damaged skin came off reminding Naruto of certain sights on the battlefield. The feeling of red hot bubbling chakra coating his entire body was singing at his memories as it burned his entire skin off. The roar of a war reminded him of his last fight and he could honestly not tell which one was more gruesome and unbearable. 

Even after all the scrubbing what lay underneath was not a better sight. Naruto bit down on the ointment tube to use his only hand to unscrew the lid. The stinging smell of methyl got caught in his nose immediately causing Naruto to sneeze, biting down on the ointment in his mouth.

"Umph!"

All he could do was whine at the sight of the cream splattered on the floor. There was such a mess now. Naruto bitterly leaned back to be propped up on the cabinets, giving the leaf show the attention all he wanted to. The sight of the lone leaf rippling in the pond kept his attention as it wavered like a ship in the middle of a stormy sea. The biting air pulsating small waves in the water at a face pace. Outside his room there was beauty and nature, a natural pull at his instincts.

...Natural instincts...

  Naruto's hand twitched, and before he could fully register what his body was doing he was leaning all the way over until his hand was firmly on the ground, positioned more fully center than to the side. His backside lifted up fluidly, his weight balancing on the balls of his feet, away from the main source of pain. Then, in a comforting feel, Naruto lowered himself closer to the ground, feeling like his heartbeat could echo against the parallel floor. He set his eyes onto that pond, and burst towards it. 

 His view from the hardwood floors to his nose almost touching water was instantaneous. As if he just blinked and teleported. It was much much faster and less painful than if he tried to hobble and stagger his way here, and for that he was happy! Though...a blush still dusted his cheeks.

'Maybe this fence hiding me from view is really a good thing.' 

The pond water was cold and crisp but as refreshing as water from a mountain. Naruto dipped his hand in a cup to take a drink and felt like he could feel the liquid travel down his throat and over his ribs all the way to his stomach. Shaking off the excess fluid, he bounced onto his butt and let his feet sink it. The groan he gave sounded like an old man. The blood tendrils dance up from under the surface. With a deep breath, Naruto closed his eyes and felt his mind slowly clear. The cold water, the prickly wounds, and the feel of grass caused him to stay in the present. It left him in an almost...peaceful state? 

...Maybe his element was meant to be water, Naruto thought. Some of his most beloved things in the world had to do with water. Talking nice long baths were one. The rain was also pleasant, especially if he was up high in foliage as it rained! The green leaves collect glittering raindrops and leave a pleasant smell in the air~ Thunderstorms also took his breath away; the rumble coming from afar and the people hiding indoors leaving only him. 

He stood on top of a roof, the wind pushing his wet hair back in forth in a frenzy as he was pelted with the rain. The wind howled in his ears so loudly that the world was silent. It was just him, and the world. 

 And no matter where he was in the night, he couldn't help but look and chase for the moon. Some nights he would be captivated by a full moon and feel like he would never be able to look away. Maybe in the end he was meant to have a water infinity instead of air? 

“Ugh! I have enough trouble figuring this world out, I don't need to have an internal crisis too.” Naruto flopped onto his back to watch the clouds. His eyes narrowed before he pouted. 

'Water isn't the only thing I like after all. Feeling all sorts of types of wind is amazing. It can simply blow through the trees and grass, or create tornados and hurricanes. A summer breeze or a gale wind, both of them are nice.' 

“That type of wind that blows with such power that it may lift you up and take you someplace else. I also like that kind of wind.”

Don't lose track of what you should do.

Naruto squinted at the voice, turning his head to look at the fence, but finding nothing of interest he returned to the clouds. Smaller gray ones floated on the tail of the one he saw earlier, and as he watched he caught sight of another, massive and dark cloud entering his view. Its length took up the entire sky as it swallowed all in its path. He felt his heart flutter when he saw that the little cloud shaped like a bunny was moving too slow, and was going to be swallowed up. But to his immense surprise, the dark storm cloud moved forward without interruption. Those two clouds were in all actuality miles away from each other and closer to Naruto than the big cloud, even if it didn't appear that way. The bunny cloud now looked like a drop of snow in an ash field. Here he was worried about it being swallowed up, about it being taken in and turned into something completely different that he failed to see that the two things weren't as close as he thought. If only he thought about it more.

“I can go pay old man Teuchi a visit.”

There. The thing that he was thinking this whole time could no longer wait and popped out of his mouth. In a moment of desperation, and of not being able to summon clones anymore, Naruto turned his head to the right.

“So, Naruto, you want to go see the ramen chief?”

Naruto turned his head to the left.

“Yeah, I figured instead of asking other people about it, I could go to Teuchi directly and ask him why he said anything, and where he found out.”

He turned back right, nodding sagely.

“Interesting. Is that the only reason?”

"...Maybe it is. Maybe all I want to do is ask that one question. Or maybe I want to go see someone else, to go to someone instead of waiting for them to come to me. I can ask them more questions, if I think they are trustworthy enough, or maybe I can walk around the village a little and see if I can spot any inconsistencies like in the Not-World, but what about that? It took me so long to spot them in that place, what if I can't spot them here? I already don't recall things the same as everyone else, why? Am I the odd one out? Not that it would be a surprise, being the odd one, but...ugh...there are too many possibilities if I think about it and I don't want to be tricked again!”

Naruto panted, out of breath from his rapid talking. He closed his eyes tightly together.

"I just want to be home...a real home. I don't want to be in a place that's make-believe, knowing that it could be false. I don't...deserve to be in a happy place like that." His words were barely a whisper at the end, emotions threatening to wash away anything else. A deep feeling of self-hatred bittered the back of his throat, choking him up. He made a world where he got everything he wanted, at the expense of his friends.

“Haaa, I don't-I don't want to think about this. I don't...know who I'll be if I let all these emotions out. But I gotta do it, I have to just move forward.”

Naruto got up, pushing back his anguish the best he could, and eyed the fence again. He tsked himself, being majorly annoyed with all these emotions lately and how he couldn't keep them pushed down. 

You know you feel that way because you keep pushing all emotions down in the first place. You've been doing it your whole life.

“This is fun. I'm having a fun time now.” Came the dry response. Rolling his shoulder Naruto walked up to the fence, gently touching it with the tips of his fingers.

'I do want to go seek out Teuchi, but the next question I have is if this fence has a barrier attached. For some reason, it seems like Iruka and Kakashi were keeping watch...and if I'm being kept here against my will then narrowing this world down will be a lot easier.'

The wind blew his bangs up in the air, swirling and deadly blue eyes watching as white climbed over blonde steadily like the clouds in the sky. Suddenly remembering something Naruto jerked and turned back into his room, sprinting on the balls of his feet straight into the closet, and immediately to the left was a worn-looking chest. Green leather falling apart with sturdy golden clasps, Naruto ran his hand over it before unlocking it and throwing it open. Inside sat an abundance of children's toys, all of which he never got to play with as a child. He figured it was here in case a child got injured and was sent to this room? It was a pretty hefty hull, with a handy chart tapped to the inside of the lid, detailing what was what, and how to play with it.

"I can use one of these, I'll throw it over the fence and hop over to get it! If someone comes instantly, then I'll know. Even if they try to make an excuse and say it was a coincidence!"

Naruto began taking them out one by one, trying to find the perfect one as he used the guide to help him out.

“This one is...a Kendama. That won't do. Daruma? No that's not quite what I need either.” Naruto spoke quietly as he shuffled around deeper into the box.

"Ko...kokeshi? Mm, not it either. Ah, this one! This one is...Taketombo, a bamboo dragonfly! It will work as a better cover than the ball here. All right!"

Reading the instructions carefully, and being certain he can manage to do it one-handed, Naruto hurriedly got up and went to the back door all the while wincing at his feet. The wind, sensing the incoming excitement and intensity of the situation was kind enough to add to Naruto's mood, picking up strength in its gusts. Eyeing the best place to let the bamboo dragonfly go, Naruto made his calculated steps over, staring up at the big fence once more and continuing, scaling up to the wide sky. Stepping his legs apart, Naruto readied the toy, and with a small prayer let it go and saw it fly. High, high high into the sky, and then immediately over his head from the gust of wind that blew and landed back in the yard behind him.

“Ah.”

He stood for a beat, or two, before swiftly turning and trotting over to pick up the toy. Brushing off his clothes as if he could brush off the embarrassment, Naruto went back to the same spot but this time waited patiently for a break in the wind. His face was carefully neutral, or so he thought. The wind that seemed to be on his side before now seemed more....mocking.

Finally, finally, a break appeared and Naruto let the toy go, so over ecstatic about it going over the fence and not having to repeat the humiliation, he jumped lightly in the air, fist held high as he let out a sharp 'yes.'

“Aww thank god, I don't think my heart could take it if I wasn't able to get it over.'

The location he picked to throw the toy over was relatively close to the aesthetic rocks. Naruto hopped on each one, leading up to the bigger one that sat about a foot away from the fence. Straining just a bit, he gathered at the edge before hopping once more, catching the edge of the fence with his only arm and pulling himself up to chest height, his stump also aiding in his help. Looking down, it took a second but he was able to spot the toy nestled in the grass just outside the fence and grass line.

“Ooo, there it is! Now then....”

Naruto waited. Waited for any noise, for any alarms, for anyone to come running over to where he was. Just to be sure, he swung himself up onto his arm and leaned his upper body far over the fence, waving his hand as his stomach was dug painfully into for any invisible barrier to be triggered. Humming he returned to his previous position, his legs that were nowhere near touching the ground swinging a little. Naruto took this time to take a look at the bit of the village he could see. There was a large distance between this building, with his room, to the regular buildings that made up the village. And those buildings...have changed. Instead of the light sandy colors from before, these were built with darker, more earthy colors.

'The material doesn't look the same either. Well, it's not like there wasn't a discussion of building the village in something less flammable in the Not-World. There was just a lot of criticism. A lot of people, from civilians to Shinobi and even old councilmen wanted to keep the original material that was built using that wood release from that...Hokage guy, what was his name again? Hahinara? Todonana? Rashimara? I think it was Rashimara! Ah but, there weren't that many surviving buildings from Pein's attack...I suppose people had no choice but to let go a little.'

Naruto lowered back down before swinging himself over the fence, the moment his feet touched down on the other side felt disorienting and they trembled from having all his weight balanced by his toes. He swayed to the edge of the grass, the edge of his little isle here, not showing at all how painfully his heart was beating on his face. Taking one more step, he crossed the threshold, grass to stone, and not a soul came. Not one person suddenly appeared to apprehend him, and no one saw him return back to his room, using a nearby tree as leverage and thus, hurting his feet more.

“Tsk. I hope those wounds heal soon.”

Putting one foot in the pond, Naruto kicked the water up as he made his way inside, never breaking in stride. He had another pot of water on the heater already, so he pulled it off and soaked three orange rose tea bags in it.

"Now, as I'm waiting for that..." He murmured, standing up to face the big closet. The decision was made, how he was going to seek someone out. Though for all the times in the past where he rushed quickly into things, counting on his ability to think out a plan amid battle, this time he wasn't going to follow the same route. Maybe after living such a long life he learned new things? Or maybe him going against the grain was a sign of how serious and distraught his inner turmoil was? Whatever it may be, Naruto knew how he could come off to other people, and how easy it would be to notice him, especially if he has been asleep for such a long time. If he wanted to go out into the village and not be bothered he would need a disguise, a homemade one at that, given that he couldn't make a henge anymore.

Naruto walked around in the closet, debating his choices. He decided to skip over the more masculine clothes and look more closely at the feminine ones. He wanted to be sure no one would recognize him, so he had to wear something people would definitely not expect.

The clothes here were sure a variety though, and unfortunately, a lot of the feminine clothes came in bright or pastel colors. Naruto ran his hand along the length of a flowy hanfu, layered with rainbow pastel. He thought about what it would be like to twirl on the rocks in the garden in the outfit, under the soft rain or wind.

“No, not something like this. I need something...darker.”

There, underneath an orange Yukata, was the very thing he was looking for. It looked to be a simple black kimono but with oversize sleeves, good to hide anything missing. It took a second to put it on properly, but it was a fun feeling of his hand sliding through all the hidden layers of frills hiding in the sleeve. Now that he looked closer at the edge of the sleeves and bottom of the fabric there seemed to be embroidered a scene of a misty forest. Long wisps of gray mist ran through trees almost as dark as the base color. It wasn't plain black like he hoped, but it would be perfect for the night. Naruto stood straight and relaxed his shoulders and the silky garment slipped right off onto the ground. He needed to check the tea.

"There is something that needs to be done first." Blue eyes shining and sharp teeth gleaming Naruto returned back to the tea and began to work. His face felt hot once more as he brought up the back of his hand to caress his face. Or, to caress the whisker-like marks there. Even the pleasant aroma of the tea couldn't stop his face from becoming somber and his eyes lidded.

“How convenient it must be for other people, to just have to look at my face to tell who I am...”

'It's like I was branded the moment I was born.'

“...Ah!”

Slapping himself on the cheek Naruto broke out of the trance.

“No time to waste mopping about! I can't do anything to hide these, but....”

Carefully, carefully, Naruto opened the tea bags one by one, and attentively pulled out rosebuds inside, separating them from the much bigger orange peel slices and laying them on a spare cloth.

"I would feel bad for wasting something I love so much, but it's not really going to waste, is it?" Naruto lifted up the cup as he spoke to himself. In order to not waste anything, he splashed the leftover contents of orange peel and water outside for any animals. Setting the cup down on the doorstep Naruto went in such of a specific type of rock. 

"Hmm, need something suitable..." At the foot of the garden the rocks there were too smooth and round so he had to dig deeper into it. At one point his stump was the only thing balancing him as he searched a crevice, using only the sensation of feeling as his face was squished against the boulder. Thankfully he was lucky and found just what he needed. 

"Yes!" Naruto whispered, tossing the rock up and catching it before carefully trotting back inside.

The next part was also going to be a challenge with his lack of appendage, though he thought of a good idea. Naruto placed the bowl of roses in between his thighs and squeezed, hard. He was determined not to let anything move. No matter what position he tried his back ended up hurting, so Naruto had to keep telling himself that the reward was worth the hassle. 

Organizing the rosebuds inside the bowl Naruto ran his thumb over the slightly pointed end of the rock. It was still cold from the outside, and damp from the bed of moss it sat in. With one more squeeze, he began grinding up the flowers with the rock. Attentively he added drops of hot water into the bowl, watching as it slowly formed into a liquid-like paste. Throughout the whole process, Naruto's vision was filled with memories, of watching someone else do the same thing. The image of a woman in a grand Kimono, with delicate hands and fingers mixing together the ingredients for their makeup. Black hair pulled back in a complicated hairdo and a gentle smile from painted red lips.  

“Luuucky, how lucky I am.” Naruto said as he worked, even if his voice didn't reflect it. “How lucky I am. Who knew that Jiraiya dragging me to all those theater houses and brothels would come in handy many years down the line. Even when he was so busy with the women I still got to learn something from the nice ladies who took a liking to me." 

His voice was deadpan, as although the things he saw were convenient now, the frustrating feeling of waiting for the Ero-sannin to stop screwing around and teach him something still held power. Naruto couldn't help the lack of enthusiasm even at this moment.

Before he knew it he had it, liquid makeup, a shade of rose red. Naruto got out a small mirror he found in the closet, and it was when he tried to take a look that he noticed how badly his hand was shaking. 

"Oh. It has been a while since I looked at my reflection." This dreadful feeling was building. He couldn't help but be fearful of turning the mirror in his hand and seeing a version of him he didn't want. What will the reflection say? Will it be short-cropped hair and tired eyes that never seemed to light up anymore? It could be a face that wasn't his, a body that wasn't his. Emotions and life that he felt and hated. What would happen if he looked in the mirror...and the Not-Wolrd Naruto was there? His hand was still shaking and Naruto went to reach out and hold it still.

A ghost sensation

Oh. Oh! That's right, Naruto thought as a solemn smile graced his lips. That's right, there are already differences here. So many things are different here. Naruto couldn't be that Naruto, and it was all over something that is constantly in his face. He felt like a fool.

The feeling of belonging didn't come however, as much as he wanted it to. Instead of helping to conclude and limit which one he was there was still a vast space of who exactly he was.

He could do this. Naruto moved the mirror slowly, carefully into view. The side of his face appeared, his temple, and the tip of his eyes.

'I feel like even my eye shape was wrong in the Not-World.'

Taking in a deep breath Naruto sat the mirror on his thighs while keeping the view it held stable. He sat the mirror right on top of the bowl still clenched and dipped a finger in the makeup, forcing his vision to see his eyelid and only that. The rest of him turned into a pleasant blur. He followed the curve of his eye, over to the pointed part and down just a fraction. Then the other eye, the red makeup working almost to a magical effect.  Fixing it in a nice place, Naruto moved his head from side to side to view his work.

"I'm unsure how far I should go with this. How much makeup will be needed to ensure no one can recognize me? Ah, wait!" Naruto made too quick of a decision, painting a long red line down his nose and placing two dots by his brows. He sat back in silence and immediately regretted what he did. 

“Ahhhh. Maybe shouldn't have done that. May-maybe something else...”

Naruto rubbed at the whisker marks again, knowing full well he wouldn't be able to put makeup over them unless he wanted to look funny. In the end, he decided too much makeup may be worse and left the marking as they were. He got up and scrubbed the red off of his finger before putting the clothes he picked out back on. Feeling the paint on his face and looking down at the clothes on his body, it really did feel like a good disguise. Maybe he won't even know who he is. 

"You know who you are. You're a clown, that's who you are." He said it as a joke...probably.

This whole time he was preparing himself, his own heart seemed to be attacking his body. Pumping with furious beats against his rib cage. His stomach felt empty and the back of his tongue salty. He was going to be walking around in the village again. 

Naruto cleaned up his area the best he could in case an unannounced guest appeared.

He was going to be walking around this village he didn't full-on remember-

He down a whole bottle of water in one go.

Sneaking around, trying not to be noticed or caught. After all, if he was caught who knew-

Naruto dropped the empty bottle and ran through the grass and to the builder, where he swung himself up and over and crossed the threshold of the street in a matter of seconds. His running was more like the tottering of a goblin coming out of its cave for the first time. But there he was, away from the door that begged him to close it and return to his bed.

“I'm no masochist, like hell I was going to stand there and wait for my heart to fly out of my body.”

Naruto stood in the shadow of an ally, staring at the fence he just jumped. He brought up his hand and angrily waved his fist at it;

“You can't catch me, anxious thoughts!”

And promptly turned on his heel and staggered away on shaky legs that begged to give out.

After a few feet in which he wondered why he was walking like he never walked a day before in his life, Naruto redistributed his weight to the balls of his feet and continued on at a more stable and steady pace.

'This must be way caged birds return. The world beyond what they know is so vast, and terrifying, that the cage they call home feels safe.'

Naruto thought idly as he made a clear cut line to the nearest alley, thankful for the roofs up above extending out and providing some sort of enclosed cover. The last time he was out was...a bit of a mess, and he got confused fairly quickly. This time, Naruto made sure to go at a slower and more cautious pace, looking around to mentally map out where he was. He glided his hand across the buildings, feeling the material under his fingertips. Stopping at the other end of the alley he took a left and felt the crisp air in his lung. And to his delight, he could see the tops of trees already in autumn colors. The bushels up high waved in the wind with colors of red and orange and flaming yellow. Naruto took in another deep breath, liking the feel of the chill in his throat. 

Looking both ways and coming out to an empty street Naruto watched as red and orange leaves scattered across the road noisily. The fast-moving pile glided over his feet and Naruto kicked them into the air, watching the fluttering mess. No matter how much fun he was having with the leaves though, the desolate area made him uncomfortable. He was glad he wasn't crossing paths with other people but at the same time...the was no one. Why was it so empty? 

Naruto's incoming meltdown was subverted though, as a wind blew the banner of a shop behind him to lightly ghost over his shoulders, causing him to turn and read the giant sign that said 'Closed for the apple harvest week.'

'Aaaaah, It's the week where everyone gathers apples to make homemade apple cider. So that's why no one is around. That makes sense.'

Good. He could relax a bit more.

'Konohagakure gets in increased revenue for this time of year. With all the sugar trees, red maple, and apple trees the trade with other villages increases. For years now Konoha has bred trees to give the most delicious goodies to the point that any other village couldn't compare. At this point, no one can resist the maple syrup and cider from here! I wonder if it's a good bounty this year? Will they put some of the profits into the academy again or focus it more on the hospital area? '

It was convenient for him, and the literal sign that gave him good fortune compared to all the mishaps and turmoil he was going through lately left him incredibly grateful. Naruto let out a sigh of relief and carefully crept by the shadow, the path to Ichiraku becoming automatic.

The first time he went out he traveled fast and with that, that multitude of layers around the world disoriented him greatly, but at least he learned that lesson. Naruto made sure to keep his gaze fixated on one point ahead of himself, or at the very least walked by watching the tops of trees and counting the yellow Gingko leaves. He even marveled at the contrast between the darker-made buildings and the bright colors painted above. A stray-ward yellow leaf fluttered across his face, making him wrinkle his nose. Naruto opened his mouth and ate it.

All other structures that lay in his peripherals remained unknown. Changing into what they wanted to be on a whim until someone looked in their direction. Naruto congratulated himself though, as he only had to stop twice, both times because the switching buildings made him dizzy and he needed to close his eyes and stand completely still for a few seconds. Luckily though, Naruto recognized the corner that, if going left, would lead him to the ramen shop. He was nearly there, and it would take tremendous willpower not to pick up the pace or run, and such willpower Naruto did not quite have at the moment. He sprinted to the end of the street where his vision blurred so badly he began dry heaving.

"Bleugh! Haa alright alright I get it, I won't move fast!" Naruto spat at his instincts that did not take the apology. Fearing falling over Naruto reached the street sign and held on tight, resting his forehead against the metal bar to ground himself. He wondered briefly if he could run with his eyes close to save himself next time? Or maybe he shouldn't have forgotten everything he just told himself and stuck with watching one spot in the distance, instead of looking around widely for any sign of people.

When he felt better Naruto unstuck himself from the pole and turned, seeing a corner of the ramen stand at the next bend, his new focus point. As he walked the building becomes more uncovered, showing its changes as well. It wasn't until Naruto was right up upon it did the shadow layer of the past Ichiraku shifted, billowing off like a current. What stood in its wake was thankfully the same shaped building, but with different material. The base had a darker, rosewood color to it now, and the blue roofs have been replaced with orange, which Naruto took a liking to immediately. He knew that the orange and white lantern would give off a warm and homey feeling when it was lit at night, like a siren call for the lonely sailors of the sea. Naruto took note of two people eating inside and made a large circle to come at the side of the building. When he was close enough he could smell the fryers and hear the comfortable chatter of the two men seated, as well as hear the clack of chopsticks on bowls and the squeak of the chairs. With a careful hand, he peeked around to the front, to his best to avoid clattering the umbrella stand placed outside, then he moved. Neither of the drinking men noticed the presence behind them, just beyond the cloth curtain. Neither one looked to the side when the shadow crept in and observed the big sign that sat within. It read;

PLEASE DONATE WHATEVER YOU CAN TO TEUCHI,

WHO IS IN THE HOSPITAL IN RECOVERY. WE THANK YOU FOR ANY HELP.

FROM OUR FRIENDLY RAMEN FAMILY

WE LOVE YOU LOTS!

Feeling a ghost of air one of the men turned around.

“What's wrong?” The other asked.

"Ah, nothing nothing, I think I may have had a little too much to drink s'all. You wanna head out?"

The other man eyed his companion, looking to the empty space of the entrance before turning back and smiling.

“Yeah, let's go. This sure is a fine evening you know...”

The man rested a heavy hand on his partner's, the meaning of it obvious to each other. The two drinking buddies finished their last few drops of beer, both excited to go home and spend the rest of their night under a warm blanket together. They paid and tipped before leaving, high on the excitement of what was about to come and from the creamy bubbles they just had. One of the men, in dramatic fashion, kneeled down and offered a hand out to his partner.

"Oh, what is this? Just who is this fine gentleman and where is the Katanari I know? Where?" The seated man made a show of looking around frantically in jest before taking the offered hand.

The lone shadow eyed from the distance. Watching the two pull into each other, their noses brushing together in a gentle touch. A warm and heavy atmosphere, bright enough to chase away any darkness. 

"Are you trying to say I'm not a gentleman, Shigehiro? I would say I'm way more a gentleman than you." The man replied with red-stained cheeks. He gazed down into his partner's eyes, both holding the look before they both busted out laughing, grabbing each other in glee and picking up as fast a pace as they could considering all they drank. They made it about halfway down the street, too engrossed in each other to feel the startled air around them or hear the swishing wind from the corner of the buildings. It was only when a voice called out, close enough that they both jumped that they registered someone else. Their own alarm seemed to apprehend the other, as Naruto took many steps backward, his sleeves covering from his nose down. Balanced in the crock of his arm was a parasol that he managed to grab in the good faith bin at the ramen stand. Naruto's face was hidden in the cover of the umbrella. 

“Hey,” Naruto asked again, “Can I ask you two something?”

It took a few seconds for one of them to have their thoughts connect together, and it wasn't Katanari, who was rubbing a hand on Shegehiro's back, lazily drifting a tad bit lower than acceptable for the daytime public.

"Yeah sure, how can we help?" Shegehiro smacked his partner's chest, leaning more heavily into him, unaware of Naruto's gaze that was tracking all movement.

“I was wondering if you could tell me about Ol- the ramen chief. Do you know what happened? Or, where he is right now?”

Shegehiro hummed, not catching the slip in words. He had to think for a moment, trying not to get distracted by Katanari's handsome face, and the feel of his stubble brushing against his temple.

"Ohhh, oh yeah! Um, it wasn't anything too serious, just some eye surgery, just for some cataracts. He's resting in the hospital now since he is also recovering from some carpal tunnel surgery not too long ago. Right?-"

The young man turned his head only to be furiously smooched by his partner, both of them getting lost in each other's company to remember the stranger though, that was alright, as Naruto had quietly slipped away inside another ally, thinking to himself.

“The hospital, huh.” Lifting the parasol up Naruto gazed at the sky in the direction of said place. “Haaa, that's where I'm going then, if I already came this far.”

'I didn't think about it much when I left, but if I were to go into the hospital makeup may not be enough...What should I do? It would be a fool's move to wander freely with hair that changes with emotion.'

Naruto twirled the umbrella round and around, letting it dance above him in his stride.

His head hurt a lot lately. Though that would be a given, as he felt like he was constantly trying to get one step ahead of an invisible enemy. And in this scenario, he was trying to outsmart himself, which couldn't be done. Naruto sighed heavily.

"Haa, I want to take a break from thinking and just run around like a beast with only instincts to guide them. Just like how I used to! Although...saying it like that makes me sound like such an old man. Hm? Technically...aren't I an old man? Ah wait, that's a dangerous thought, let's not go there! Right now I'm still the same age as my friends." 

For all that talking Naruto had a hard time envisioning what everyone else looked like right now. In his mind's eye, his friends were statically stationed just as they were in the Not-World. He wondered if even Sasuke looked different. 

The breeze around him picked up, circling more leaves and seemingly tilting his chin up. Naruto lazily let it fall back and watched four small birds fly together, looping around each other in the sky. 

"What is the world like...outside of these walls?" Naruto whispered to the sky. In his fixed gaze the birds were reflected, making it look like the blue of his eyes moved and rippled. Red leaves fell passed and a particular face was remembered.

"....Gaara." Naruto breathed with a smile. Oh, Gaara! How is he right now? What must he be doing? Does he know that he is awake? Naruto was instantly charmed by the thought of his close friend as he walked. 

Is Gaara doing okay? Has he been sleeping properly? When was the last time he ate? All these questions he wanted to shout out loud in the hope the wind would travel it to Gaara's ears. Sasuke was the one that Naruto felt the closest to, the person he wanted to be beside for a long time. However, leave it to Gaara to compete for that role in his life. The one that sits so close behind Sasuke they could be touching was Gaara. The only reason why they weren't tied for that position would be...because of this gap that Naruto had felt once Gaara was granted the position of Kazekage. 

His content smile dropped slightly. 

No, the gap wasn't there from the Kazekage position, who was he fooling? This distance in Naruto's heart appeared after the Gaara rescue mission.  The Bijuu in Gaara was extracted, making him a Jinchuuriki no longer. 

And If he wasn't a Jinchuuriki?

Then, that made him purely human.

No longer would Gaara have to live the life he had. He could have a normal life, and be like a normal person. A better life awaited Gaara, and Naruto didn't want to be the painful reminder.

'Gaara is too nice of a person deep down to admit any of this out loud.'  So Naruto did the thing that felt the most obvious, and that was to take just a small step back. Just so his dear, dear friend could get a taste of what life could be like.

Naruto turned the umbrella counter-clockwise in his hand, spinning the leaves that have gathered on top.

That was his intention back then, though just be it for Gaara to not get the hint. Soon, after numerous one-sided letters from Gaara and even more minuscule requests to have someone come to Sunagakure for small missions with the person most suitable for the mission somehow always being characterized to fit Naruto's description he caved in, and their penmanship to one another bloomed. Their bond becomes so much more deeper, with Naruto who had the comfort of communicating with someone not face to face admitting more about himself, and confessing things as well as his emotions. Gaara, the magnificent Gaara, took in all in stride and returned the words just as same. The whole time Naruto was so careful, and the mission request stopped coming since they began writing to each other.

Still...he wanted his friend to see that he had an out. That he didn't have to talk to Naruto anymore if he didn't want, and that he could live the life that all Jinchuuriki dreamed of. It felt so painful to think like that, even now that clamp in his chest twisted as Naruto's unfocused and dreamy eyes closed as he walked. A pattern has formed, with Naruto writing as frequently as Gaara and then taking long breaks of no communication just so Gaara could see what it was like without Naruto around. Though he in the past still walked into Tsunade's office to see a pile of mission requests that he suspiciously fit to. 

'I can't allow myself to keep Gaara close when he has such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity just because of my own feelings. I wouldn't be able to call myself his friend if I did something that selfish. I wonder if Gaara realized it by now? I've been asleep for so long, that no one has been responding to his request or rolling their eyes at tongue-in-cheek messages. Perhaps...he is much happier right now.'

Naruto's steps have been slowing ever since he began thinking of Gaara until he had stopped moving without realizing it. 

'It will take ten years to get there if I keep thinking in this way. Let me instead think of the more positive moments with him! After all, time flies when we have fun.'

Naruto took a turn, brushing down an ally so thin he had to close his umbrella when he heard a door open not too far from him. The chattering of a small group, or maybe a family carried in the air. 

"Sha sha sha~" Naruto whispered as he zigzagged down the tight space and into other places that people wouldn't normally go, putting to use his honed Shinobi skills as he dance around the walking family. There was a group of 4, and Naruto stared with wide cat-like eyes at them from behind a lamp post and waited until they were just past another small ally that he dove into. Naruto ran along the inside on the balls of his feet, jumping over trash bags and darting past a dumpster only to have something tug him back. 

Shocked he tried to continue forward only for the grip to tighten, causing his brain to malfunction and shift his weight backward almost falling flat on his behind. Naruto caught his balance and sweated, dreading looking back at who stopped him. With trembling eyes he looked down;

And noticed that what stopped him was his long flowing sleeve getting caught on a jagged piece of wood sitting alongside the dumpster.

"Pft! Aha, that scared me a little too much and it turned out to be nothing! Ahh...at least I have a funny story to tell now." 

Maybe if he did see Gaara again a story as short and tiny as this would be fine to share in? 

To calm his heart, Naruto decided to reminisce on stories that Gaara has told him before. So he straightened himself up and tucked his clothes in tightly to his body. After making sure the family was out of sight, he continued. 

  [Gaara and Naruto sat on a large  bay window together, overlooking Sunagakure glittering at night. They shared warm tea and snacks while also occasionally people-watching. The night became so late that it had become early, but neither person minded. Naruto was doing his best to stifle any loud sounds he would make as he looked at Gaara.

“So-pft! So then what happened?”

“Then, Shinra-”

"The scruffy-looking one?"

“Mn,” Gaara shook his head negative. “The scruffy one is Saburo-san. Shinra-san is the one with short but messy dark hair.”

"Ooooh! Oh that's right that's right, man sometimes the Suna Councilmen look a little alike don't they?" At this Gaara smiled before nodding.

“That they do. Ah, so then Shinra-san, after everyone debated such an intense matter and concluded, stood up from his chair. The problem here is that he accidentally sat the chair on his robes-”

“Oh no!”

"Oh yes," Gaara replied smoothly, taking subtle delight in Naruto's fascination in his recounting. He broke apart some custard bread and split it with his companion before continuing.

"When he stood up his robe was twisted around the chair leg too much, and with the force of him getting up in a huff, the robe tore, or rather, it ripped right off of him, leaving him exposed in front of the entire council. Unfortunate for Shinra-san, as he forged wearing anything underneath that day due to the heat.'

"Nooo!" Naruto staged whispered, unable to control himself as he pictured the guy and the people he saw just hours earlier and imagined how that all played out. He did try his best to be quiet though, wiggling before shoving his head into Gaara's chest to help stifle himself. From there he could hear distant and faint rumbling, deep and well inside Gaara as he too found amusement in recollection. It wasn't an all-out laugh, or even a chuckle, but that was alright. Gaara never laughed in his childhood, and everyone knew it would take some time before he was able to do something like that, just like with sleep. But, Naruto thought as he leaned back up and viewed Gaara's elegant smile, he came a long way, and Naruto couldn't be happier. The two tossed more stories between each other, losing themselves entirely, and all too quickly the sun has risen, casting a light on their arms as they sat next to one another. They could have gone on forever like that, but soon Naruto's team would wake up and they would have to leave. Gaara and Naruto would share knowing eyes whenever they came across any pre-said councilmen while trying to remain composed.']

Naruto quietly snorted to himself during his walk and managed to walk into a dimly lit garden area. High bamboo encased him on either side of the zig-zag walkway, the small lights reflecting the green from the plants and making the walkway brighter. His stone road ended and became downward stairs and Naruto tapped the railing with his umbrella. Eventually, the close-knit bamboo spread out as he came to the giant round intersection. Numerous openings broke up the vegetation, and benches scattered over the cold and smooth dark stone. The ground beneath his feet was made of material he didn't recognize, but as he stepped down a remembrance of nostalgia came to him. It wasn't anything from the past...or future. Or even the Not-world. For some reason this intersection made him miss a home he has never been to.  It was a silent feeling and as such, was easy to brush off.

'I'm not sure which one of these would be the quickest route to the hospital. What should I do?'

Strolling close to the first opening the thoughts of Gaara didn't leave him. He tried to picture the last time he saw his friend in the Not-World. The distinct figure appeared in his mind, sitting on a couch and communicating through a screen device. Gaara's face...his voice, his clothes his...hair?

Naruto froze, leg still outstretched to walk. The image of a different Gaara floated back into his mind, and Naruto mentally zoomed in on the wine red hair.

“Pffft....hehehehahaha!”

The image of one of his most dear and close precious persons adopting a hairstyle that was quite...odd suiting, well it boiled over Naruto at that moment. The laugh was suppressed for as long as it could be, giggles escaping out like bubbles from a teapot. The actual laugh though was not big and boisterous as it would be, instead, it was airy, gasping, and light. The laugh of someone who hasn't laughed in years. The laugh of someone who forgot they could laugh. He just couldn't hold it in and as he doubled over, a voice comes from his right.

"Ara ara, what's this? I also like a good laugh. Would you mind letting me in on the joke as well? ” 

Instantly his humor dipped and with ease and grace Naruto kicked up the umbrella that dropped to the ground in his fit, catching it in the air and leaning it against his shoulder so he could still cover the bottom half of his face with his sleeve. A pair of black heeled shoes came out first before an odd woman stepped out into the light fully, purple-dyed lips stretching into a cunning smile that would scare most men, a hungry and knowing smile promising something dangerous and forbidden.

 This smile was lost on someone like Naruto, however. For reasons well known to others. The woman didn't realize it at the time, and instead continued to charm and lure. Her cerulean hair was done up in an elegant style, and as well she was wearing a long skirt with sashes and trinkets attached. She came to stop just at the entrance of one of the many options, her hand resting on her thigh and one foot poised in front of her. Everything about her movement was calculated and exact, almost like she was reading a script. Naruto kept the parasol low to avoid meeting her gaze. 

"Oh my, I was told by the spirits to meet with someone down this road, but...I never expected them to be a cutie like you. How lucky of me~"

Her words were contradicted by her face. Her eyes were a touch too sharp and silvery, her smile a tad too wicked. Naruto could sense the strange aura she was trying to conceal. 

'Who exactly is this person?'  Naruto thought as the woman grabbed the side of her long and flowing skirt and swung it up to open, billowing the fabric.

"Is there something you want or is it just your hobby to wait in the shadows to say cryptic things to strangers?"  His question made the woman falter and her eyes narrow, causing Naruto to smile. 

“Well now...why-”

"Sorry but I'm not interested in whatever your peddling, I'm actually in the middle of something important. Goodbye, I hope we don't meet again." Naruto bowed in the middle of his quick speech before turning on his heels and walking away, though it only took a wink before he heard the weird woman yelling for him.

"Ahhh AH! Wait, wait wait, this wasn't how this was supposed to go! You there!"

“Hmm, what a problem...for you. Anyways have a good day.”

Naruto was dead set on walking away but was stopped, as the feeling of someone about to tap his shoulder become too risky to ignore. He swept around, ducking away from the outstretched arm and coming in close to stand a few inches away from the other face.

“Oh.” The woman froze, looking surprised but not overly so.

“I'm on a mission right now. If you need to say something then, say it quickly.”

The parasol came down, revealing blue eyes....deeper than any ocean, vaster than the night sky, and sharp enough to pin someone's soul right out of their body. The woman gave one long gasp, her eyes widening as something clicked for her. Naruto didn't like the look, as it suggested he would be in her company for longer than necessary. However, the smile that came to her face was much softer now, more gentle. 

“Oh...It's always a thrill to meet someone else who danced with demons and doesn't bat an eye. My apologies that I didn't see it sooner.”

Naruto opened his mouth, but the weird woman interrupted, taking her turn in leaning into his personal space. 

"Come to my shop. I may have something that will help you on your mission. You seem to be hiding yourself from the eyes of others hmm? Then you definitely need to come with me. I have wigs you can wear!"

Blinking, Naruto stared back then, narrowing his eyes, tilted his head back.

“Is it close by?”

“Very close.”

“If you try to sell me a bunch of nonsense I'll seriously kick you.”

“You've been heard, I as well do not want to have someone that could be described as almost as cute as me to be in my place longer than necessary. Now-”

The woman reached out, not for the hand holding the parasol but for his empty sleeve hanging at his side. Well, it was amusing to see her face become horrified and embarrassed when the arm she was aiming for was nothing but air and sleek material sliding out of her grasp. It was almost as funny as Gaara's hair.

-

The shop in question was a decent size all-black vardo with a little setup displayed in the front. There were cloths of varying quality, sparkling jewels, and small barrels of herbs, spices, and sugars. There were more items overflowing from the inside. The whole area was lit up with hanging green and blue lights that were strung above the wagon and nearby trees. All in all, it was small but cozy and promising of something interesting and adventurous. 

“Now, dear traveler, welcome to my shop of mystics and wonders!”

The woman gave a dancing twirl, her aqua skirt and sashes flaring like a wave. In the movement of them still turning when she stopped in place once more, facing him, she bowed her head, extending one arm out and the other to her chest in greeting.

"I am called, Shiho. And I'll be sure to find whatever it is you are looking for, whether it is in this world or not." The intense glint was back in her eyes, her musical voice rhythmically calling out.

'She seems very proud.'

“Hmmm.” Naruto hummed out, unimpressed. The woman named Shiho faltered before standing back with a tight smile.

“That's not the typical reaction I get, I'm not sure how I feel about this.”

'My my so dramatic.' Naruto thought as he was led into the wagon, though he did thank her for offering a hand up. The same hand leads him to a chair in the corner to sit while she dug opened up bench storage to get a wig. Naruto went to sit only to notice that the chair was facing a tall mirror in the corner of the wagon. Hesitatingly, Naruto plopped down. 

'There's this damn mirror in front of me. Guess I'll try to just focus on anything else.'

“Hey, I want to talk about the payment method, as you don't seem the type to go out of your way to help others.” Shiho stood ramrod straight at this.

“Well now, isn't that something to say? I actually think I am quite the helping kind.”

"Is the person you're helping yourself? Hey, I see you picking up that hideous thing, don't think you'll get away with putting that on my head."

Shiho tsk under her breath before tossing that big, fuzzy green...thing back in the storage. She came back over to him with another wig and the same cunning smile on her face. Naruto, to not look in the mirror more than necessary took to watching her hands as she worked. Noting them gently placing the wig down on a corner table that also had some twig of flowers, an open book, and a sophisticated tea set that he had never seen before. She grabbed a fine-tooth comb and come to stand at Naruto's back.

'Ooooooooo~'

Naruto has never had his hair combed by someone else before. It felt divine. So divine he had to bite the inside of his cheek to ensure he didn't make any noises out loud.

"Your hair is very nice. I bet it would look absolutely stunning if you grew it long. Even if you grew it all the way to the floor!" Shiho murmured playfully, their eyes catching in the mirror for just a second.

“And as for the payment, well normally I like to get as much as I can out of unsuspecting men, but I don't have to tell you that do I? People like us, we are pretty similar even though we come from far away places.”

Naruto rolled his shoulders at this. Becoming just a smidge unsure.

“What do you mean...people like us?”

“You know~” She started, becoming more playful now. "There is a name humans call me. A name that I didn't pick out, but others have decided fit me.” 

Naruto's eyes hardened, his face tightening. 

"The name they call people like myself is a name for those of the water. In this world, the ocean is vast and more than land. There used to be an old rule, that only men may travel upon the sea. Women...weren't allowed. Even if their village was on fire and under attack, women were refused a place on any ships. This world was ruled by men you see. It's because of that, that if a woman was discovered on a ship it was taken as the utmost sin. The women would be beaten and mocked, undressed in front of the men, and bound by their arms and legs. Then, they would be cast overboard into the murky depths below." Shiho took a deep and shuttering breath before continuing, the sound the only giveaway of how hard it was for her to talk about it all. 

"They say what they call me, are spirits of those women who were discarded into the water. The anger at the injustice, the loathing of having to carry sin that wasn't theirs, of being blamed for something they can not control changed them under the sea. Their legs fused together, their nails sharpening; they became fast, more agile, so much more than what they once were. And, more importantly, beauty became theirs. Unknown to most, the mother ocean is truly kind and accepting, allowing women to become their most free and beautiful selves. Across rocks and lands, these women would lay, singing with voices salted by the sea to lure men to their death by their own greed."

Shiho's fingers brushed the hair off of the nape of Naruto's neck, though there was no way to disconcern if that or the story gave him the chills. Soon the hands left his hair and gently picked up the wig to begin arranging it on him. 

"That is a truly interesting story," Naruto told her. "Though I still fail to see how it connects us two." 

Shiho hummed while leaning forward, pressing herself against Naruto's back while encircling her arms around him. In the mirror, their faces were close, both locking eyes. 

"You wear your ancestor's face. You look like a woman you will never meet, and in this mirror, there are thousands of you. In the bath, when you look down, she looks back. Shaking and deforming in the ripples as she lies beneath the surface. You both know, that no matter how much you splash that water, that image will always be there. She will always be a part of you." Shiho whispered dangerously low, her eyes watching shadows of reflections that Naruto couldn't see. 

"Though there are hundreds of cultures and thousands of years, some stories are retold, just with different names. Now...there isn't much difference between what they call me, and those entangled in the legend of a Kitsune's. 

Naruto's eyes flashed dangerously. He was beginning to not like where this conversation was going. Every part of his body tensed, ready for something internal. He held a dead gaze in the mirror, almost like there were two facing each other creating a million refractions. Whatever he was whispering to himself in those looks were broken as long bangs swept over his eyes. 

“We have similar eyes. The eyes of someone who experience pain, who hurt deep inside, but cannot bring themselves to get close to others...in that sense.” 

Naruto stayed quiet in thought as the wing was arranged, the air from Shiho brushing it out cooling his cheeks which felt red and hot. Long strands of black gentle laid over his back and arms. 

"I don't want to talk anymore about this." He said finally. 

"Ara~ And why not?" Shiho asked in a way that she knew. She knew why, yet she still wanted Naruto to say it. To speak the spell out to the air. 

"Speak your true payment or receive just my wrath." 

He couldn't see, the bangs were still sitting too far over his eyes bringing a sense of a blindfold to him. It was an awful feeling of being vulnerable, and because of that his words came out low and threatening. A promise. 

Shiho took a moment before a giggle was heard, unsure but amused. She began working on some knots in the fine strands. 

“Hmm, as payment, why don't we swap stories of the men that have crossed our paths in life. I am very intrigued about the ones you set your sights on. How about it?”

An image of a man popped into his mind, its features twisting before deciding on which one would be the safest to talk about. Naruto let out the breath he was holding and leaned back on the wooden chair, hearing it squeak. 

“How funny, I was just thinking about one before you came along. Though...he lives in another village right.”

"Ooh, long-distance? Well, I suppose all my relationships turn into that with how often I travel. So~ What about him? Does he have good features?"

Naruto took a moment to seriously consider it. 

"Hmmm, yeah, I think so. He is a bit expressionless though, his face is smooth and still as stone. He has a defined nose, strong-looking but elegant hands, and a low voice. I dislike how little he talks, I hope one day I get the chance to listen to him talk for an entire night so I can drown in the sound of his voice." The ending part brought excitement to Shiho's face, as she nodded knowingly and hummed in approval. A big and excited smile got caught on her face.

“Why don't you lure him to your bedroom then? If it's your charm I'm sure it would be hard to resist, you can even go to his place of work and lure him away. Men who are burdened by rough and hard work are easier to lure that way~” She was getting lost in her own past endeavors. 

“I think that would be quite difficult, considering he is an important figure.”

"Important? Like a well know Ronin or famous merchant? Oooh, merchants, they are so easy to persuade~"

Naruto thought for a moment, before deciding it was okay.

“He is actually a Kage.”

Shiho froze completely, almost dropping the comb in her hand.

“What a prize to set your sights on! Are you familiar enough with him?”

"Mm! We are actually close friends you see. It was interesting to see him grow from what he was to what he is now. The roundness of his face is receding though and it almost hurts to see how much of a man he is becoming!"

“Well now well now! Truly remarkable! Please let me know how it all goes as I am rooting for you. Such a sight to set, and you are already close to each other from the past! That is the perfect scenario. A childhood friend watching and swaying the heart of such a man, you could rule a village with just the right looks, and the right sway of your hips." Shiho put both her hands on her hips and swayed them slightly and Naruto noticed that the grace in which she did may allude to her being a dancer. Before he could reject the idea of taking over his friend's village she eagerly leaned over him again and asked; 

"Is there anyone else you have set your eyes on? Having a hand in just the right door is crucial for those like us. My dear, I can see it on your face that there is another! Someone else you think about, someone that may have your heart in their hands...”

Sasuke

The name came in such a flash that Naruto was startled. It was almost embarrassing with how fast he came to mind. 

"Mm, there is someone, someone that I miss deeply. I want to see him so bad. He has been through so much, and I just wish I could help him in some way. It's been a long time since I've seen him that it has become painful. He...well, both of them. If I had the ability I would extend a giant hand outside the village gates, gently pluck both men from where ever they were and bring them to me." Naruto puffed out a laugh at that thought, becoming more and more melancholy as he thought. He really wished Sasuke was here with him, or at least know where he was at the moment. Is he eating well? How did the war of the Uchiha affect him? Has anyone helped him through the traumatic experience? There was so much he wanted to know.

Is this Sasuke still the same? 

 Naruto looked up from his longing thoughts and came face to face with someone he didn't recognize. Their hair was long and dark, the bangs parting to the side save for a stray piece in the middle. Wearing so much black turned pale skin even paler, and the way the hair was parted made his eyes seem impossibly big.

“Oh-” He was speechless. So caught in the difference that he swayed his head to view himself from different angles. 

"...Wow." 

"Thank you. I think a brighter color would suit you more, though I suspect you are most keen on a low profile, and as I said, I don't want someone cuter than me in my space for longer than needed.”

Naruto stood up, wincing at a sharp pain in his foot before rocking side to side to watch the hair move.

'So this is what it would feel like to have long hair.'

Stepping on his tiptoes he twirled in one big circle, taking in his entire appearance. Long dark strands followed the whirlpool, fluttering cloth picking up in the storm. One twirl and he faced the mirror again as if reintroducing himself. 

'I don't think anyone can recognize me now.'

“Thank you, I truly appreciate it..um....”

"Did you forget my name? It's Sh-"

"No that's alright. Even if you tell me I won't remember it. I only remember my closest friend's names."

“Why is that now?” Naruto paused at the question.

“Hmm, well it would be a waste of effort to remember someone's name and face only for them to leave, or even if it turns out that dislike me or hate me. You never know when someone's true self will come out, and I will feel less of a fool at that.”

Shiho, for the first time, dropped her smile. She looked shocked, or as if she remembered something similar. Her brow furrowed as she leaned against the table.

"Has that happened before?" The bright and musical voice dropped an octave, so much so that it felt as if Naruto was forced back into his body, becoming acutely aware that he was in an old creaky wagon, wearing clothes he never had before, and traveling somewhere that may alter the rest of his time here. His fingers flicked together and he could feel the dry skin chaff by his fingernails. Naruto took a big step apart to separate his thighs, as the feeling of them touching each other as normal was discomforting, as two people in this small space made the air humid. 

“Yes, though it was a long long time ago, back when I was a kid. There was a sensei of mine that I looked up to, and I thought he...didn't hate me. He always smiled at me, even though now I can recall the glare in his eyes. When he...crossed me it made me feel like an idiot, all the times I went up to him calling him Sensei or even Mizuki-san when we came across each other in public. All the times I talked formally to him and just how...happy I was that he gave me his attention. It turned out he wasn't what I thought. And now I hate that I can still remember the name of someone who hurt me."

Shiho looked more concerned and in pain than before. But when they met eyes again she covered it up, turning around to her intricate tea set so he couldn't see her face.

'I spent too much time here.'

“Is it alright if I go now?”

“Oh? Oh! Yes my dear, please. I won't hold you up any more than needed.”

Naruto carefully walked to the entrance, trying to step lightly on the squeaky floor.

“Are you sure the payment was enough?”

"Quite so!" Shiho waved, gently pushing his back to the door. "You gave me not one but three stories of the men in your life, and all of them were most intriguing indeed. The wig is yours, but..." Naruto turned back to her from the ground, looking up at her still in the doorway. "...But if you ever need tips on how to take care of it, or even want to try on others then I suppose I can withstand your competing looks for only a bit more."

The cunning smile returned, the person who she just was a second ago disappearing, leaving only the person she was now. Naruto stared deep at her, thinking about how much he has confessed to her, before he twirled the parasol in his hands, opened it up, and went on his way. Neither one said goodbye, or even waved goodbye. Naruto took to the main path once more and Shiho went back to the tea ceremony, a book of divination in her hands. The now clad in all black Naruto found the circle and turned right, heading to where the hospital recovery lie. The feeling of his hair shifting as he walked, or lifting in the wind was somehow comforting.

'That person...she was telling the truth, huh? We do have similar eyes.'

Deep down Naruto did hope that could meet again, though the next time Naruto wanted to be the listener.

Chapter Text

     The sky above began to shimmer and darken just a tad bit as time moved on. Not enough for people to call it a day, but for Naruto who counted every second outside of his room, the change was noticeable.

   Long black hair lifted gently as the person gained a more confident and carefree walk in their disguise. The slow pace he had maintained until now all but vanished as Naruto roamed freely and with purpose, he even did a small pirouette, watching his kimono and hair fan out about him, his eyes fluttering at the eloquent brush of silk and strands gliding over his skin, ears pricking at the sound produced in the lonely street. The dark colors made his skin look like the purest white and over and over again it made him think that it wasn't even his own skin. As if he wasn't his own person.

    What an incredible feeling, to not be oneself if even for a moment, he thought as he folded his fingers to trace his palm lines over pale and chapped skin.

   Naruto made quick steps up the wide stairs that led to the medical square. Three main buildings sat here; the hospital, a recovery unit with physical therapists, and a nursing home equipped with assisted living. Eyeing each of the buildings before him, Naruto wondered about the people that lived within. He actually didn't know that much about the population of Konoha, as he never had a chance to get close to them in the sense that others could. There was an unspoken rule between them, between the sacrifice and those who were protected from the sacrifice. A non-verbal agreement that...most villagers seem to have with each other, an acknowledgment between themselves that to spare the feelings of those who lost loved ones in Kurama's attack they all will stand strong and stay away from him.

This made divide number 1.

    There were the clear-cut wants that anyone could know about a person, the ones that every person should be guaranteed that equated to human decency, such as a right to live (food, shelter, a home) without it being destroyed by another. That would be something Naruto knew about the flaneur villager, that commonplace want. However, because of the circumstances of Naruto's burden, not much else was known about how these people lived their lives, or even some of the cultural aspects of his own home, as he wasn't initiated in any of them unless they were big and loud like the harvest festival. 

    But Naruto understands now why they think the way they do and he and the villagers could clasp hands at the primitive human decency aspect. That's where Naruto's path took him as he became a Shinobi, as he personally believes humans should be treated a certain way and with certain basics, and worked blood sweat, and painful tears to become someone that could make it happen, or at the very least becoming the start of the next generation that could make it happen. His beliefs also ran deeper in certain regards, such as you shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself because of an old custom passed down from generations decree you to. The world isn't the same as it was in the past and there isn't a need to live in the present with the traditions of the past if they only cause grief. Nobody should feel that have to commit suicide, like in the case of Kakashi's father, at a mistake or failure and leave behind so much trauma and heartache.

     'Children shouldn't be left to suffer all alone or made into human sacrifices and forced to carry the sin of the past generation.' 

      All of these, all of his beliefs that he thought may have been obvious were actually radical and too different from the elderly population it seemed, and thus a rift was formed.

     Divide number 2.

    The two divides stretch astonishingly wide, to the point where one would never be able to guess the two plateaux were once united and not simply similar lands with dangerous cliffs. It was impossible for them to get along, and impossible to see eye to eye and understand each other. They live in the same place but in two different worlds. 

   "It's a little...pathetic," Naruto murmured in a breath. The coldness of the evening turned his words into a mist. 

   Pushing aside his lingering resentment Naruto came to the glass doors of the front entrance, propped open a crack to allow the cool air inside the ridiculously hot area. Catching just a sliver of his reflection he fixed himself accordingly while mustering up the energy to go in. He decided to leave the parasol outside, and instead grabbed the empty sleeve with his hand and tuck it into his only arm. That way he could hold both sleeves at the same time and use them to hide his mouth and marks.

     'Good. Alright, any sign of trouble, and I'll throw myself out the window. Or...make an excuse to leave. If anyone asks about my face I'll just say I have an unsightly scar.' 

   Naruto turned and walked away from the door to the edge of the platform, before spinning on his heel and walking with determination to the glass doors, sliding between the crack like a cat with the intent of a smooth proceeding.
   He was met with no horror of his own mind; no gaggle of eyes or familiar faces. The entrance didn't fade away into another familiar door that led him back to the Not-World, and his heart was entirely grateful. Naruto shook the blacken webs in his mentality that seemed to always try to fraught him with worry as he contemplated the main hall. The layout of the front desk has changed, with the receptionist nurse a lot closer to the door than he remembered. The woman's long desk sat perpendicular to the door, and in her work, she didn't look up at him. Naruto's heart gave a heavy beat at the process of having to talk to someone else, especially considering that if he did anything odd, and if they knew Sakura it could be a problem. Taking a deep breath in, he approached.

The woman didn't look up.

   Naruto leaned to the side, staring down at the person filling out paperwork. He then shuffled a few steps to the right, more in her eyesight. There still wasn't any inclination that she knew he was there.

    'Does she not see me or is it-' A heavy filling filled his chest, trying to pull him to the ground as his vision shifted. '-is it like...before...'

   "OH! Oh my, I'm so very sorry my dear I didn't see you there! Were you waiting long? Oh my, what a scatterbrain I am, how can I help you, sweetie?"

Just like a snap, his vision returned to normal as he focused back on the nurse before him, who was now sitting up straighter, her hands clasped together and an apologetic smile on her face. Naruto spotted no recognition in her eyes before he looked away, chastising himself for doubting the disguise.
"U-Uhm, I am here to visit someone...if that's alright."
   The woman beamed and opened a file cabinet behind her.
  "Okay! I will need some information first. Can you give me the full name of who you're here to visit?"
   Naruto did his best not to fidget. "Inaba Teuchi."
   The woman smiled a kind smile and nodded before adding; "And what is his date of birth?"
"August 10th."
"Great! Thank you. Teuchi-san is currently in the rehab center to our left, though unfortunately, our visiting hours have just ended." The woman gave an apologetic sound.
"But to make it up to you, for not seeing you sooner how about you come in tomorrow morning and I'll tell my coworker over there to let you in early!" She pointed a well-manicured nail to the rehab center and excitedly looked up at Naruto. She seemed like a joyful and energetic person. Naruto almost felt bad about what he was going to do.
"Mmm, I suppose that's alright. Um, is there any way for you to tell me his room number? That way I can tell your coworker friend so no time is wasted." Before he even finished the sentence the nurse was shuffling papers and looking for the number he requested. For a moment Naruto thought how strange it was, that she was so eager to help when giving out such information could be dangerous, especially in a Shinobi village. Was she just laid back? Or was he missing something?

...What if they spotted him leaving his room and putting on the disguise...and what lay in the room was a trap...
   Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously before flicking down to the nurse as she exclaimed to him and pointed at the printing on the paper.
"Aha! Room 404. Lucky for you it was written down here, normally it wouldn't be. Now if it's no issue, would you mind giving your name so I can give it to my coworker?"

"...Kurama."
Damn
The air changed then, but only for Naruto. That name was the only one that popped into his mind. It felt like his whole mission might be in jeopardy of that mistake...
….wait.
Did he say Kurama's name here? In this war?

"It's Kurama Shiho. Please just call me Shiho."

'I'm a thief. A stealer of names.'

"Shiho-chan then is it? Wonderful! I'll let Ms. Nakata know to keep an eye out for you tomorrow, Shiho-chan!"

'A naughty thief that steals names, for he doesn't remember who he is.'

     Naruto shook the last singsong voice out of his head and turned to walk away. He stopped in step however and turned back to the nurse with excruciating pain.
"Umm...I may or may not be there tomorrow. There is something else I must do and this was the only time I could come so please tell the other nurse to not wait for me or anything. Thank you, bye forever."
   The nurse started and reached out a hand in question as Naruto swung on his heel and flew out the doors, black threads of hair shimmering in the fluorescent lights. He was not able to leave peacefully with the thought of someone waiting for him in the morning.
   Just to be confident in himself Naruto went to the right and walked the whole way across the back of the hospital to sneak into the rehab building on the left. He made quick work but was careful of any prying eyes or people taking a gander out their windows. The sky was now turning purple and orange as the sun lowered more; the black of night inching closer, of ink lines threatening to bathe the world in darkness at any second. Naruto muttered a curse to himself for taking so long as he bounded behind plotted flowers on the back wall. He wondered if he would have to cut the meeting short or risk it and stay longer.
   There was a back door to the rehab center, with another nurse smoking on the stairs beside it. Naruto did not falter in step as he glided past the other person and slipped through the door propped open with a small rock. He wasn't going to the front desk this time, so instead, he reached the nearest stairwell and flew up to them like a chaotic wind force, counting as he went. His heartbeat was harsh, so incredibly intense that he thought any minute someone would hear it and burst through a door and find him, which only made his heart beat faster. In truth Naruto made not a single sound as he ran up the stairs, he was but a whisper on a lake. Only one resident managed to see him, though they kept the sight of the long black-haired creature running with their mouth hidden behind kimono sleeves to themselves, as they were unsure whether it was human...or spirit, sent to spirit away another resident. 

   Reaching what he thought was the fourth floor, only to realize he overshot and went to the fifth, Naruto bounced down one flight of stairs and made it to the real fourth floor with a small 'oops.' He stood at the end of the long hallway, doors upon doors on either side of him. He has never really been in the rehab center before. There may have been times when his muscles cramped too much of something was far too strained, but...

   'I've always worked through that pain and waited until Kurama could heal me. Even if it meant ripping something more so that it became an issue.' 

   "Man, I really rely on that guy, huh?" Naruto whispered quietly to himself. Looking in both directions to watch the door numbers as he passed them by he came to an intersection. The light above him flickered and with it, an uncertainty filled his stomach.

   'Might as well work through the pain.'

   Choosing the correct path he came to the end of another hallway and turned towards the door labeled 404. For a second he was out of his body as he took in his unrecognizable shadow on the door and his fingers reaching for the door handle. The uncertainty he felt was being pushed into a corner as memories of everything he's done and all that he fought flickered by. Naruto slid the door open and zeroed in on the man sitting on the bed.

"...Who the fuck are you?" Naruto blurted out.

    The man on the bed... had the round belly that Teuchi hid under his chief apron. And his fingers were the burn scars Naruto always saw when that hand delivered his ramen. However...the chef hat was obviously not on and salt and pepper hair sprouted up like wild windswept grass. Around his mouth too, was a peppery beard and mustache, something the old man would have never let grow out while working with food. Said man on the bed turned his head at the sound of someone's voice, his eyes covered with dark-colored glasses. It took a moment of pondering before the stranger's face morphed into surprise.

   "Naruto!?" The man who was probably Teuchi exclaimed. "Oh my, boy! It's been so long! Come in come in now."

  Sliding the door shut behind him Naruto approached cautiously.

   "...Old man...is that really you? 'Cause if it is you look like you've been hit by a train."
   The old man grinned at his words.

 "I'd smack you up the head for saying that and using such crude language if I wasn't so happy to hear you say anything at all. I didn't hear the news that you were awake? How has my number one customer been?! Make sure you go to the shop and eat enough to pay for my medical bills!"

   Teuchi laughed at his own joke while Naruto took a seat at the foot of the bed. The hospital blanket was the same starchy and rough material that most hospitals had, but not like the one he had in his room. He brushed his fingers over the material before sitting back more, tucking one foot under himself and letting the other dangle.

     "You're being a little too transparent there. Besides I've already been to the stand looking for ya, only to see a sign saying you were in surgery. Don't ask how I am without telling me how you are first."

Teuchi clicked his tongue and sat comfortably back on his pillows, his stomach becoming more pronounced.

     "Ay," Naruto said, leaning way over and cautiously poking into the hard-feeling tummy. "Did this here get bigger?"

Even without sight, Teuchi was able to roughly smack Naruto's hand, who then cradled it to his chest.

"Oi now boy, don't be getting me mad. Of course it's gotten bigger when I haven't been able to be out and about like usual. There's no need for you to point that out though!"

"Right, right."

      Teuchi clicked his tongue again before wincing at the discomfort in his hand. He shook it like he was shaking the pins and needles out of it while making a grouchy face. Naruto mentally outlined the freckles and moles that mapped out tan skin before focusing back on the man.

"Aa~a, that's right. I heard you were also recovering from something else besides your sight. What's it called? Cabble babble? Carbble Larpple?"

"Carpal tunnel boy. All those years of dedicatedly making the best ramen there is finally caught up to me. Oohh why must the good suffer for doing a glorious duty? Well, at least I'm healing up nicely now."

   Naruto furrowed his brows as Teuchi wiped an emotional tear before looking out the window by the bed. The colors of the heavens have all but sunken away, leaving dark blue and a shred of purple. The fingernail moon was visible from here, sitting calm and poised in the clear sky. Naruto turned back to Teuchi.
"Old man, I actually came to ask you a question-" Teuchi interrupted his sentence. 

"How's the other boy then? You getting along?" 

"The other?-"

"Your old teammate." 

"Oooh." Things clicked in Naruto's head. "Oh, he...uh, he isn't here right now. I've been told he should be coming back." 

"Yeah yeah, no need to get as sad as you used to, I'm sure he'll be around at some point. Mmm, that boy. Things were unfortunate for a while, but back when you two were sprouts, and even now I think he could be a stand-up guy, if he applied himself more. With as many precision skills as he has, it's a waste for him to be a Shinobi! He would make a fine chef, chopping ingredients like no other!" Teuchi made a chopping motion with his hand, and Naruto had war flashbacks from when those hand chops would attack his head. 

"Aha, I'm not too sure he would want to be a chef, Old Man. Not after all the commitment he put into being a Shinobi." Naruto chuckled half-heartedly at the image of Sasuke cutting a tomato with his long sword, just as Teuchi snapped his fingers at him. 

"Oho, you'd probably say that. You knew ever since you were youngins that his skill set exceeded yours. Aaah if only you could have been as put together as he was, and less of a handful." Teuchi said this is a weird, joking manner that had some type of undertone to it that Naruto couldn't place. It was almost as if...joking about it was all he could do at the moment? 

"You might say that, but I acknowledge Sasuke's skills and use them to motivate me. He really is a great Shinobi and-" -/I'm trembling to see him/ 

The last part went unsaid, almost toppling out of his mouth before he could stop it. Naruto clicked his mouth shut and looked to the floor in embarrassment, his face feeling flush. 

"Uh, anyway. I didn't come all the way here to talk about that." 

"Hmmm you came for a reason, and I think I know what it is." Teuchi nodded sagely and crossed his arms on top of his belly. 

"It's serious what I want to ask! What the question is-" 

"If the question is to go and personally make you your ramen I can't do it. But don't worry boy, my daughter has taken care of my duties! I wanted her to work under me a little longer, it doesn't seem right to have the chef be someone so young and with so limited experience. But there wasn't anything to do about it. Sorry to say boy, but while you were asleep I had to hang up the apron. Maybe if you'd woken up soon you could've been there for the goodbye."

   Naruto's eye twitched, knowing he would never miss the way the Old Man interrupted others, speaking as if he knew everything better just because of his age. 

"Hey now, don't word it to sound like I decided how long I was under for. Obviously, if I had a choice I would have woken up much sooner."

"Now now, don't talk back to your elders just because of your own doing."

"Oi." Naruto squinted but sighed, as Teuchi's ways haven't changed, in this world or Not. He was still strict...and his ways were still annoying.

"Sorry I couldn't be there to see you off," Naruto started, wanting to address the thing Teuchi was trying to express without saying it outright. Even for someone as proud as him, not having Naruto at his send-off was probably disappointing.

"Though I'm sure your daughter is more than fit to take over after studying from you. I just hope you don't get into trouble with all your free time now. Though I suppose there's a market of ladies looking for someone like this these days-"
   Naruto poked the rounded stomach again, expertly evading the hand that came to wack his fingers. Teuchi complained, growing more annoyed with him. Although Naruto only said the end part as payback for Teuchi not being candid with his feelings.

"I don't have that much free time you punk. I may have hung up the apron and hat but I've grabbed another apron entirely. It's like we switched positions now that I think about it."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, picking wax from his ear. Is this how it was going to be? Maybe he wouldn't get a chance to ask anything and have to go back empty-handed.

"While Ayame is working the shop I'm home watching after her child."

   Naruto's hand fell slowly at those words, his eyes wide as he stared harder at Teuchi.

"It worked itself out. My first surgery on my wrists was a couple of years ago, while Ayame took over the stand I was stuck at home, but that allowed me to raise and take care of my grandchild. Now I can't imagine not being there and spending time with them." Teuchi turned to where the window was, looking fifty years older as he did so. There was a great pause and an even greater intake of breath before he spoke again.

"Boy, listen to me...I've never told you this before. You had asked about it once when you were just a sprout, and I chased you out but...Ayame's mother...She left me when Ayame was just 5. She said that I cared more about cooking food than her and that she couldn't take it. I told her she was wrong but she asked for me to choose, between her and the food stand I have been developing for so long. And I picked the stall. She left us that night. I continued trying to start a business and when she got old enough, I had Ayame join me for the extra hands. And I thought that it counted, somehow, as us bonding. Except now...now that I spend time with my grandchild I realize my past errors. I wasn't there for my daughter, but I am now for my grandchild. I have a chance to do things right and I get to go home to twinkling eyes and a lively voice greeting me. Ayame likes cooking, and she likes conversing with customers and being social, so her working in our shop while I take care of her child works out. She's happy...and I'm happy. The hours of operation have been severely cut so she can spend time with her own child but that's alright, that's what we both wanted, and I've grown enough to not let her repeat my mistakes." Teuchi turned back in his direction. Naruto leaned in even closer, the suspense and awe at being told personal information engulfing him. 

"That's why I have to say, I'm sorry. With my grandchild, there is no way I can go back to being your ramen chef-"

"Hold on Old Man this isn't what all this is about. Don't give me a whole heavy story like that as if I'm here to beg you to personally make my food. Geez, just what type of person am I in your mind?"

   Naruto roughly sighed and turned away, resting his head on his hand and muttered to himself. Teuchi didn't say anything else, but his body language conveyed a feeling that he didn't believe Naruto's own words at all.

'Telling me something so private, something he never does just to try and 'let me down easy' about not cooking ramen anymore. Geez! He can get me so mad.'  Huffing out his nose Naruto rubbed at his aching feet before straightening back up, bitterness and determination pulling him. 

"Now if you are done painting me to be this poor single-minded guy I want to ask my question."

"Don't be so put out at my words, I call it like I see it boy. Wait can I still say that-"

"Hey, don't start a new conversation what I'm trying to say-"

"Tsk, watch the way you speak to your elders! I thought I could at least teach you some manners. Being upset about not having someone make you ramen is-"

"Will you just LISTEN-"

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE IN A HOSPITAL!"

"WHERE DO YOU GET OFF TELLING OTHER PEOPLE PERSONAL THINGS ABOUT ME!"

Naruto stood up in his anger right on top of the bed, hand clenched and standing over the older man.

"Who are you to tell other people things about me?! You went on and on about how chefs listen to everyone's problems but never repeat them out loud, like it was some unspoken code! And then you go and break it? You're just a-a- hypocrite! And don't you dare talk about trying to teach me things- You don't try! You just get frustrated at people for not understanding things like you do and start yelling! Like when I came to ask for help from you on how to read! Good luck raising your grandchild, hopefully, they'll become someone more kind and definitely a waaaay better secret keeper than you!"

   Naruto stopped his rant, not because he was done but from the hands that were placed on his shoulders. Teuchi's head was down, not like he could look at Naruto anyways, though he kept it down. The wig's long black strands were pooling on the older man's face. Teuchi wasn't moving, not shaking his shoulders or head or saying things under his breath, he was just...still. The complete contrast of Naruto who has begun to tremble with emotion. When Teuchi still didn't say anything Naruto huffed and knocked his hands off, before plopping down harshly back on the bed.

   There was silence in the room, and there was only going to be silence. Naruto knew...he knew Teuchi was a proud and noble man, and admitting he had done wrong was not something that came easy. Especially because he just admitted a past error just seconds before. Naruto knew that and still...

"I don't know how you even knew. 'That a bowl of ramen was the first kind gift I've even gotten' or something like that. Did you just take a glance at me and guess or was it something else?"

Naruto clicked his tongue and waited for an answer. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Teuchi twitch before sitting up straight, pondering something. Naruto turned to face him better, chin still in his palm.

"...I found out, from what was seen and exposed," Teuchi replied in a low voice. Not unlike Naruto's whose was now hoarse, heavy with emotion.

"Seen and exposed? What does that mean? Are you saying you did just take a guess? Make your words make sense Old Man, this stupid boy can't decipher it." Naruto said sarcastically, rolling his eyes to the opposite wall.

Teuchi shook his head strictly as if he was coming to a conclusion or epiphany.

"If you don't know then it's not my place to say. So I won't." That was his final answer.

   Naruto gazed into the weathered face, his eyes narrowing and becoming tight.

"What are you saying? I came specifically to ask you this question. It's you I want the answer from. Are you saying you won't tell me because of some weird prideful thing on how you feel it's 'not your place'?"

"That's right. I won't be saying anything to you boy, so you should drop it." The old chef crossed his arms and leaned back into the pillows in absolute.

"Teuchi." The room became colder as that name was uttered from those unsmiling lips. That name that never in the history of time been called by Naruto.

"Tell me, please. It will help me. Just clarify what you are saying to me."

Teuchi shook his head once more, not realizing how tense Naruto was becoming.

"It can't be me, boy. I can't be the one."

The room was silent once more and Naruto for all he was worth was damning himself as tears pricked the corner of his eyes. He was so frustrated! Why...what does any of that mean!? His hand curled into a tight fist, enough that his long nails skinned his palm, but then he all relaxed.

He couldn't get angry at the old man. Not because it wasn't right but because...he just didn't have the energy to. All of his energy peaked when he first slid the door open half expecting his people to be on the other side. His emotions were like the tide of a wave, pulling back now leaving nothing but sand, however soon enough another wave of a tsunami will come and drown an entire village. So he sat, lightly shaking in place.

A small tug pulled at his head, and in an exhausted manner, Naruto trailed his eyes over to see a long strand of his wig landed on the old man, who was rubbing it between his thumb and index finger with a questioning look on his face. Naruto observed those hands he had seen time and time again.

"Maybe it really is a good thing you haven't been cooking. It wouldn't have been nice for your greasy sausage fingers to touch things, like hair."

"Sausage fingers?!" Teuchi almost pouted and made an act to look down at his hands even though he couldn't see. The descriptive words seemed to have really upset him.

"Yeah, sausage fingers. Because they're big like sausages."

"Ah!" Teuchi scoffed, taken aback. He began to run his hands together to feel his own fingers as Naruto hopped down from the bed and stalked to the door. He stopped halfway when another question came to mind.

"Say, about your daughter. She has a kid now you said? Funny, I never would have imagined you'd allow anyone to date her, let alone find anyone you deemed worthy enough for her given how crazy protective you are."

"Oh, there is no father."

"Oh? I see..." Naruto put his hand on the handle, tired of not getting straight answers.

"Ayame adopted the child."

Naruto's movements stuttered at the door as he lost his steps. Pausing for a moment that felt like an eternity he nonetheless the door, muttering a half-hearted 'pretend I was never here' before leaving the hospital.
.

.

   If he was flying up the stairs before he could be considered teleporting down them now. The back door he snuck in was closed at this point, but thankfully no alarm was attached when he pushed it open to leave. He didn't notice the rock that kept it propped open before and ended up stepping right on it, sending pin-sharp pains up his foot. Naruto gave a strangled exclaim and kicked it away, far enough that it could probably land on another planet.  

   Everything else was then a hazy blur. He didn't even remember passing Shiho's caravan once more, or remember the brief conversation they had where he passed by while saying; 'sorry for stealing your name.' 

'It was something seen and exposed.' 

'I can't be the one to tell you.' 

'Ayame adopted the child-' 

'Your teammate-' 

'Sasuke.' 

"Are you even coming here? Am I going to have to seek you out again? I just wish I knew one damn thing in this world! I just want one thing fucking answered!" 

   There were a couple of rattling windows and creaking doors at his loud outburst from curious people, however, the lone figure in all-black blended into the night. The blackened sky, with glittering stars, reflected on drowning blue eyes like a mirror. Naruto in his upset mindset, his sorrow, and his anger did not make it back to his bedroom immediately. His grief overtook him and made him wander in an aimless fashion, heartful and irritated wails spilling out of him. At one point he stood still at a crosswalk attempting to control his breathing and mood. With his hand covering his face and long black hair curtaining around him, Naruto wasn't able to see the group of young kids turn a corner to his way, spy him, and promptly stumble over each other to run in the opposite direction in a terrified frenzy from the lone figure on the misty road. 

   He did finally make it back to the fence and was able to jump over it before falling limply on the other side. Naruto leaned his head back and simply breathed. 

In

and 

out. 

In

and

out.

In (for seven seconds)

(hold it for six seconds)

out (for seven seconds.) 

. 

I wish I knew where he was. 

.

Moss had grown on his legs, no matter how much he tried to painfully pluck them off they came back. More and more appearing until his entire lower half was covered and his legs were merged together into something akin to a fishtail. Instead of the vast ocean, however, Naruto lived in the earth. The ground under his touch became liquid-like just for him and he could dive under it and look up at the world like a one-way mirror. No one could do this, no one could do what he did. 

For a while, he would bide his time performing his abilities for others' amusement. He was an oddity that people enjoyed, and they would tip him money and treats to dive into the ground. However...

However...

The weight of what he could do finally caught up in those people's minds.

'Isn't it strange to be able to do that?'

'How exactly is this happening?' '

Why is he the only one who could do this?' 

When people thought more about how he could sink into the ground like that, they started to avoid him. The unknowing state scared them, and Naruto had no answers to give. Soon the rumors started, spreading rapidly about him. Some people said he was a devil. Any disappearance from livestock or people was blamed on him.

'He will lurk in the ground, wait, and then reach out and grab your ankles to drag you into hell.' They warned.

He was once a simple moss creature of the forest, child-like in appearance. But with every rumor, his appearance changed to mimic what was being said. Soft skin turned brittle and rough like bark. Fingers and fingernails grew long and twisted like branches. Poisonous mushrooms grew instead of flowers on his skin. His face and expression became permanently ghastly, like what I child would see when looking out at a tree at night. A twisted and terrifying expression looked back. 

The only thing that didn't change...was his heart. 

He became trapped in that body...in a body defined by how others perceived him and out of his control. He was at their mercy, and with each altercation more rumors and fear formed, threatening to dye Naruto's own heart into something wicked as well. 

But this suffering was not long-lasting...because in his dream Naruto stumbled upon a blind man, whose features were similar to Sasuke's. This dream lad gave the twisted and growling Naruto a kiss on the forehead. 

'It is time to decide who you are, and not let other people decide it for you.' 

Those words from the blind lad gave Naruto strength, and he, at last, had control over his own body. Instead of it morphing back into the forest creature he was, Naruto was able to ease out of all the earthy elements like silk as he pulled himself on top of the rock the blind man was sitting on. 

He was purely human once more. 

 The dream ended with the both of them sitting on a rock, with the dream lad helping pick stray mushrooms off of his skin. 

When Naruto woke up, he was laying in the back doorway on the floor, his lower legs chill and wet from the morning dew as they were the only part of him that rested outside. His head was heavy and his feet pulsated. But tears that felt good to shed trickled from his eyes. 

He must have felt the dew form, and that had caused the strange but intriguing dream. The relief he felt that the dream wasn't realistic enough to make him question the world was outstanding. None of the characters were people who knew, and none of the faces could be described in detail. 

The only thing that felt real from the dream was the yearning he felt. 

Naruto stayed on the ground, gently blinking away the rest of the tears and breathing deeply. When the sun came up enough to gently warm his legs Naruto flicked them both up at the same time to startle the dew off, each droplet in the air made a caleidoscope of rainbow colors. He turned onto his stomach. 

   'Maybe I should go on the offense, and start testing these guys on what world this is...' 

   'What did the old man's words mean?' 

   'What should I do?' 

   'Should I try and read the reports more? ' 

    'I wish I had someone I trusted to help me.' 

      'I wish-' 

    Naruto closed his eyes and meditated. He focused on each part of himself, one by one, feeling the good feeling that was always there but not well noticed. From the tips of his fingers or ears, to his torso and toes, he counted them all and then combined them into one, giving his body the familiar tingly feeling. Naruto stopped focusing on the outside world to travel the inner side of himself. Like a mirror in front of a mirror, he was infinite. Though like this, he could painstakingly feel his fried remnants of his chakra reserves. In the lake of good feelings, they were like sulfuric ashes, almost vivid enough to break him out of his meditation stance. It was truly reminiscent of a war zone and left a feeling of never being full. It was traumatizing, so he did his best not to focus on them.

   There was a tightness of muscles he could feel properly now, including a tensing in his temple that, if he tried to meditate more often he could get it to 'pop' and release a satisfying amount of dopamine. Maybe that's a good idea...

'Hmm? What's this?' 

The astral plane inner Naruto noticed something in his core, something like...a staticy ball? It was tiny and twisted within itself...like tightly wrapped layers upon layers.

It could have been there forever and he just never noticed. Naruto mentally batted at it like a cat for a moment, before he sensed someone coming. He reopened his eyes and go onto his knees, waiting for the person to show up. 

There was a knock. 

"Oi, brat. Are you awake?" The voice was polyphonic and homey. Tsunade? 

On no. 

"Please give me a few moments. Or maybe more." 

'Because I still have the FUCKING DISGUISE ON.' 

Naruto, in a moment of pure panic, stripped his clothes and threw them in the bath, hoping to any gods out there that it would not be checked, while also stuffing the wig underneath a pile of towels nearby. He turned on the water to drown the evidence, not thinking at all that he could simply put them with the other clothes, while at the same time he leaned in far enough to run his face under the gushing pipes to get the makeup off. Which was a mistake as he almost fell in when he went to take his only hand holding him up off the ledge to rub his face.

Although he may not have a face anymore with how hard he scrubbed it with a towel.

The closest clothing item to him was some dark-colored casual kimono shorts and short sleeve top. He fumbled with the tie before tightening firmly around his waist and walking towards the door.

'Cool it, cool it.'   

He opened the door.

Ah, it was Tsunade. She and Kakashi both stood there, the woman standing proud as ever with her shoulders back, and a happy smile on her face. While Kakashi gave a gleeful wave from right behind her. Tsuande gave him her standard once over at first glance, the both of them locking onto his hair (he forgot-what color would it be?) before they spoke. 

"Ah sorry brat, I don't what to interrupt if you were about to get a bath." She looked really apologetic, while Kakashi looked sad at the thought of them parting ways so soon. 

"No, it's fine. Please make it quick, then you can come back in an hour or so if you want, once I finished." Both of them beamed brighter than the sun when Naruto took a step back to let them both in the doorway. Though they both kept a wide gap between them and him. Naruto quietly thought that his hair must be white-not red, as they still came in to talk with him. 

"All right! We'll do this quickly. I didn't get a chance to tell you this, but while you were out you have gotten quite a mountain of letters from people." 

"Letters...for me?" Naruto asked quizzedly. 

"Mm! They're from people you have helped, Naruto. Or others simply reaching out to talk. I actually don't know the contents of all of them, as I didn't want to invade your privacy too much." 

"Too much huh, but the way you worded that you definitely opened some, right?" Naruto gave her a blank stare at her sheepish grin, knowing full when she wasn't in the least bit apologetic. 

"Hey hey now, of course I would open them after hundreds came in, I got curious! I also wanted to make sure no one was writing anything bad to you haha! Oh but, seriously. You do have a plethora of letters, I just didn't know when to give them to you." The underlying statement was loud enough for everyone in the room to understand. 

"Though now I figured I could at least tell you about them, so you know and can request some whenever you want. However, we didn't come all this way just to tell you that tidbit of information! Kakashi!" 

"Yes!" 

With that command, Kakashi handed over a small scroll to Naruto. 

'Hachiko!? Is he Hachiko?!' 

Naruto hesitantly took the scroll, looking it over in his hand. 

"Right! Now I'll get going, don't want to take you away from the water for too long yeah? I'll be back then kid!" It was almost shocking how quickly she was leaving. As she turned towards the door she gave Kakashi a heartfelt look, he nodded and stood directly in front of Naruto. 

"Naruto, this here came today, just a few minuted ago in fact." Kakashi pointed to the scroll. 

"Oh? Is it from someone important?" Kakashi hummed at the question. 

"I would say yes. I don't think you can write a letter back at this moment, but you should be able to soon if this person is doing what I'm predicting. So if you want to get started on a return letter, let me know and I'll do everything I can to deliver it." Kakashi reached a hand out to put on Naruto's shoulder but let it fall, not like it would have reached him at this distance. Though he didn't look too hurt. Naruto glanced out the corner of his eye to see blonde hair slowly overtake the white that was there. Ah, so he was fading back. Is it because he just meditated? Naruto turned away to look out the back door, noticing that the sun was entirely up now. He must have meditated longer than he realized. 

Naruto faced Kakashi again, giving a light hum. 

"Do you think I should read this now, Kakashi?" 

A silver eyebrow shot up at the question. It took a beat of a moment before a warm look settled on his face. 

"The sender...is Uchiha Sasuke. I will let the decision be made by you." Kakashi smiled a gentle smile, before waving to Naruto and walking to the door. Once at the doorway he turned and waved again, which Naruto copied after a beat. Then, in the hallway, Kakashi once more turned and gave a happy wave goodbye. This time it took Naruto a second longer before he returned the gesture and Kakashi left his vision. When the footsteps faded he couldn't help to walk to the door and check outside, just to check that Kakashi wasn't waiting to wave again. 

He was gone. 

Naruto shut the door and quickly went down on his knees, his hands shaking as he held the scroll. 

'From Sasuke?' 

He set the scroll gently on the ground, carefully running his fingers over the outside. He imagined Sasuke's hand doing the same thing and for some reason, the thought of them touching the same thing was comforting. 

The build-up of ocean emotions was back, although Naruto wouldn't allow them to fester. He unraveled the scroll. Inside was a short message, just five words. The characters were written in Sasuke's chopped handwriting that always reminded Naruto of sword strikes. He traced the words; 

Naruto curled into himself as those few words sent a wave of happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. The paper was being clutched tightly to his chest as a few tears leaked out of his eyes. 

"Idiot...what a stupid idiot..." Naruto gasped out, his voice high and airy with emotions. 

"You better get here soon, you dummy." 

Chapter Text

Smooth fingers could not stop rubbing over the inky letters on paper, from every flick to splattered dot to bold carve, the words carried palpable feelings that heartened Naruto, and stirred up an almost forgotten sense of determination in him as well.

"Hehe...I'm waiting here, you jerk." Naruto whispered to the scroll, imagining Sasuke somewhere far away, in vegetation or on a mountain high above anything else, hurrying on his way to the village. Tears still pricked at Naruto's eyes, however, the wide smile never faltered, and could not be brushed away. Under his eyes felt warm while at the same time other parts of his body felt prickle-ish with goosebumps. It was almost a dizzying frustrating feeling not being able to clutch the letter to himself properly as if he could get as close to it, and in some way close to Sasuke, as he wanted. So Naruto clutched it to his chest and rested his forehead flat on the ground, his knees still tucked beneath him. It was a pure moment, breathing in and erupting in soft laughter from time to time before the fear of getting snot on the paper was too much to ignore. He wrapped it up oh so carefully and after looking around, figured the best place to keep it safe would be under his pillow.

Naruto's bed was a mess, gray sheets and mint green comforter unmade; pushed to the side like a defense wall that he slept with his back against. Blue plaid, wool blanket flung haphazardly over the metal frame in a fit of too restless and too hot sleep. Naruto moved the two pillows he had, the one for his head and the one he cradled in his arms, to put them where they should go and carefully placed the scroll underneath, its entire minutia memorized by Naruto already.

'I wonder if putting this here will affect my dreams?' Naruto thought. 'Though in storybooks, a precious letter underneath a pillow isn't typically from a defector. Ah well...it's not like my story is fit for fairy tales anyways!'

Naruto, walking on the balls of his feet stood back and stretched his arm high above his head as he thought about how much lighter he felt now. There was still some growing anxiety, but an assurance was offered that he was well weak too. Naruto twirled a light little dancing move before tip-toeing over to pat the pillow. He spoke close to it with a smile;

“You better get here before I lose to myself.”

.

.

"My lady, some tea." Shizune, the ever-loyal assistant of the fifth Hokage sat down a nice and hot cup of oolong tea on the Hokage's desk. Her movements were refined and habitual, nonetheless, it was done in delight. Helping out Tsuande that is...not what she was about to say. While Tsunade took a sip Shizune stepped to the side with a bow, holding the serving tray in her hands and tapping with her fingers in a sense of distraction. Tsunade gratefully drank, her lips piqued at the warm liquid before sighing and swiftly turning her chair to her tutelage, startling the other. With a wry smirk, the endowed woman crossed her legs and propped her head in her hand.

"So, what's the bad news?" Tsunade examined.

"Huh?! Wha-what makes you think there is bad news?" Shizune asked bewildered. The Hokage simply tapped at the rim of the cup with a smug expression.

"Your tea choice. My my have you not noticed? You convey your hidden thoughts in actions in the drinks you serve me. Green tea for news about someone's health, good or bad. Mint tea for when a difficult decision is asked to be made by me. White tea for when you're worried about my health, while Sake is served when you need to bribe me or go over my head and Oolong..." Tsunade continued smirking, the whole time in her revealing Shizune backed up, the serving try resting in her hands behind her back while looking embarrassed and shameful.

"...And Oolong tea for when you have to tell me something I don't want to hear. Now, what is it?" The powerful woman moved from casually resting to her side to propping her arm on her knee, leaning forward with a sharp and sly look.

"Uwauu~" Shizune whined. "I didn't know I had such a tell. If I did I would have surely done something about it." She wiggled in spot, causing her teacher to laugh and lean back, patiently waiting for now but if Shizune kept avoiding the subject then that patience would dwindle in seconds. Taking a deep breath, Shizune stood tall and delivered the news effectively and properly.

"The Raikage sent out a request for help. A dangerous person who was previously imprisoned in Kumogakure is being moved to their home village where they will receive punishment by their own laws and people. This individual's homeland is the Land of Rivers to our South-West. The Raikage has sent a request that you, personally send word to the other two villages the Kumo-nin are traveling through as insurance, as just the Raikage's word alone isn't enough it seems..." Shizune trailed off at the end while Tsunade huffed.

"Isn't enough? Don't they know how rude it is to question a Kage who is transporting a criminal? Just what was their reasoning?"

"Well...it seems like all would have been fine if one of the other village leaders didn't have some sort of...rivalry."

"Rivalry?"

"Ummm... it seems that the leader of Yugakure has an inclination towards the Raikage...but was unceremoniously turned down by him. Because of that-"

"Oh? So a little miss someone in Yugakure had their hopes dashed and now set out to make anything and everything as difficult as possible for A then, hah?" Tsunade glowered.

“Though how exactly am I involved with this?”

"Ahh...well, I would suppose it doesn't matter how you are involved. The most important thing is if you are accepting or not of what is being asked."

“And that would be...”

Shizune sighed, taking a step back before answering.

"Going to the communication hub and giving a quick and direct confirmation that the Kumo-nin can travel through the leaf and Yugakure. Otherwise, those Shinobi won't be able to get the criminal home promptly."

That stormy look took no time in getting to the Hokage's face. The pencil in her grip was smashed to crumbles, and Shizune couldn't even blame her.

'Go see Naruto-kun, whom you've been waiting for ages to wake up once more...or go to a secluded communication hub and give out orders and permission. It's a no-brainer for her.'

Tsunade's blase composure turned rigid as stone and in one smooth motion, she proceeded to chop her desk in half. Shizune barely had time to get out of the way as her teacher grabbed the one half and flung it towards the window, which would have shattered on impact if not for a hand quickly opening the said window from the side. The piece of desk flew out a far distance crashing into a study and old tree, taking out a thick branch on impact, and both crashing to the ground with a loud booming sound. Tsunade growled while her assistant started towards the window. There, a spiky silver object could be observed, and then...Kakashi's face peeked in from the side.

“Are you throwing the other piece as well or may I come in?”

It was insane how the copycat Shinobi managed to ask obviously sarcastic questions without the occupying tone. That way it was difficult to get angry if you can't tell if he was mocking you or not. The Hokage merely stomped over to the tea cart with her almost broken cup and filled it up. The other two watched as she took quick gulps and refills of the calming tea, waiting for the moment where she would actually turn calm.

"Mmmm, I take it something came up and she won't be able to go visit a certain somebody soon, huh?" Kakashi mused calmly as he came to stand by Shizune's side, who was very grateful at having a buffer.

“Hm?” What a minute, she thought. “Wait how did you know it was that exact situation? Did you hear from outside?”

"No no, I suppose, hmm...it's just the easiest answer."

There was a lingering strain in his expression. One that spoke of alikeness, one that said he would have the same reaction if he couldn't go visit that person.

With a sharp clack, Tsunade sat the cup down and wiped her face. She to, wore that expression. A discussion was coming up.

"Before I do something I will absolutely hate, we are going to wait-"

Knock Knock

Shizune gasped and ran to the door to opened it, surprised to see Shikamaru and Sakura on the other side.

"Oh! You called them here?"

"Yea, we haven't had any time to actually all meet up, except now. Here we are~" Shikamaru drawled as he sashayed into the room, his hands in his pockets while he leaned back far enough that Shizune was actually worried he would fall over.

"My lady, if need be you can send me to do whatever task there is?" Sakura asked politely as they both stepped inside. Tsunade merely shook her head at the question, and Sakura didn't ask further. Both she and Shizune knew when to push questions and when to definitely not push. And the seriousness in their leader's face spoke which was which. The five of them gathered closer, each step bringing forth heavy emotions. How many times has each of them come to this very tower without a certain someone? How many times did they gather to try and get updates, to have hope upon hope that he would wake up? The months became a year and then it became years.

It was so still...so quiet without Naruto around. Like the very wind left Konoha. Anytime one of them was there and someone burst in they all expected the same person, out of habit. For Naruto to just be there, at their side. For him to be there for them. It wasn't until he was gone that a lot of people realized how much they relied on him for every little thing. To get things done, to lend an ear or shoulder. To telling them the things they didn't want to hear but needed to hear.

Sakura swallowed those feelings, not wanting that strangling tightness to appear in her chest again.

"Who was the last to see our brat?" Tsunade asked. Shikamaru lazily flashed a hand.

"That would have been me and my team. We went over to give him some food from Chouji's family. It went...alright. I left with more things on my mind though." As he spoke Shikamaru stretched his head up to scratch his neck with long fingers, not focusing on the people in the room as he began to get serious.

"Did anything...bad happen? Was there a fight by any chance?" The follow-up came from his side, Sakura's voice was small and almost timid sounding. Tsunade could see her very form wavering. Poor girl, she has been through so much with both her teammates already.

"Ah? Ah, nah, I wouldn't call it bad. Just a slip of the tongue from Chouji that caught Naruto off guard, It could've happened to anyone. Say-" He addressed the entire room now, "-We might as well have a serious discussion about this now, 'cause I know we are all thinkin' it. So, who's gonna tell 'im?"

The room was tense before but now it felt as if they were all stuck in a glacier. Looks were exchanged, pleading and querying and cautious. Shizune stayed by Tsunade's side, having no real reason to participate, as she wasn't nearly as close to Naruto as they were. She may love him, like anyone would love their forever person's adopted child though. Naruto was precious to Tsunade, Tsunade was precious to Shizune. Therefore only the absolute best would befit Naruto to make her precious person happy.

While she had these thoughts...she still didn't feel comfortable butting in unless she felt it was urgent. Therefore she would simply take a step back, and only interfere if the others got too wrapped up in their emotions. To Shizune, the air maintained the same tense feeling as everyone else, although it was quickly interrupted to her as the office door opened, and two Shinobi hurriedly ran inside to gather the remains of the desk and put a new one in from a storage closet that contained many, many backups. Nobody besides Shizune paid them any mind, it was as if they weren't even there.

Back to the pressing conversation, Kakashi cleared his throat and raised his hand. His effort at volunteering to be the one to tell the information. For his courageous act, he was shot down by Shikamaru before he could even get a word out.

"Put your hand down, Hatake. While it's admirable that you two formed a friendship after no longer bein' his teacher, it doesn't mean you would be the best option to do this. Even if you are well-known and feared Shinobi all it would take is for Naruto to cry for you to crumble. It would be impossible for you to deliver the words needed if you get anxious at any server negative emotions Naruto may feel. Not to mention you aren't good at consoling people as of yet, so you would be useless in a case that we can't afford. Please don't put your hand up again."

"Ahhh...okay..." Static and white, Kakashi swayed on his feet, almost brought to his knees by the other's verbal lashing. His soul may have drooled out of his body a tad.

Shikamaru turned towards the others before his weapons for eyes landed on Sakura.

"Did you want to try and volunteer?"

It was a trap. A bear trap not even disguised as leaves.

"It can't be me. Unfortunately...I'm still trying to...figure things out." Sakura trailed off, looking off to the side. From that view, she should have been able to see the two men bring a new desk in, with one of them almost tripping in the process, but her eyes showed no wavering or recognition.

“Hmm, guess that just leaves me!” Tsunade said stretching her arms above her head.

"Not so fast. You are a possibility but not a guarantee."

“What?!”

Shikamaru sighed as he rubbed his forehead, trying not to make the silently fuming Hokage angrier. His penetrating eyes flashed up towards her.

"What we need, is someone we know Naruto will be the most comfortable with. Someone that gathers his attention and keeps it. Someone that makes him feel safe. There was already a slip-up, and that may bring questions from him. The thing is, if Naruto hears this information and doesn't take it well...it could risk his life. He barely made it as it is, and I know I don't have to remind any of you that." The most devastating expression washed over everyone's face. Shikamaru began to pace in tune with the fastness of his thoughts

"The things that we know now; His hair can indicate his emotions- white for presumed stress and red for possibly anger. The cause for it? Unknown. We know his chakra network was destroyed, he won't be able to form or gather any without causing serious harm to himself internally, as well as risking it to leak out around him and cause physical explosions and external injuries. And, while we again don't know why, we do know that Naruto is very confused and out of place at the moment. He has mentioned people we, in this room, haven't heard of, as well as the incident of calling some of you fakes. I don't know why he reacts like this; is it a memory issue? Did someone do somethin'? Is it the work of some unknown Jutsu from the war or maybe even a curse placed on him? Does it have to do with him tryin' to seal himself away? A side effect? I can only assume it happened during the war as when he was in the coma he was out. So was it from someone? What if it didn't happen before he fell? Could someone have come into his room without any of us noticin' and done somethin'? I don't know. I don't have a single concrete answer on why he looks so scared and confused and wary. And I can't just go and try to get the answers 'cause if I say somethin' wrong and he reacts it could damage him even more! I just wish I knew anything! " At this Shikamaru swiftly turns back around, the frustration and grief clearly visible on his face. His brow was furrowed and he looked a mere second away from tearing up. His reaction was shared in the faces of the people around him. Shikamaru looked to the left, to the ceiling, and then to the floor as he tried to reign in his outburst and calm himself down. Kakashi walked over and placed a comforting hand on his upper arm as Shikamaru dug his palm to his eye.

    "The person to break the news to Naruto-kun about the things we know then has to be someone that will help soothe his emotions, and to make sure he doesn't get caught in his own mind, correct?" Everyone turned to the voice and took note of Shizune. With her hands clasped in front of her, the woman retained an air of calmness and regal sensibility. She gave a soft smile at Shikamaru.

"If it's someone like that, then I would personally suggest Umino Iruka-san. As he seems to be particularly close to Naruto-kun, and because he knew him in the past when he was a child. I feel that would be an added benefit. Is there anyone else you feel would be better than him?"

It worked. Shizune's practiced soft voice and level head helped to make the other people in the room relax more, and come out of their own grieving shells of personal emotions and accountability. Tsunade leaned back, onto the new desk that inexplicably was there, and crossed her arms.

"Um, what makes my lady not a shu-in?" Sakura asked. Shikamaru rubbed the bridge of his nose, thanking Kakashi under his breath before coming closer to the group. He gave a nod to Shizune for her input as well.

"She's a strong candidate, however seeing Naruto, someone she loves dearly, suffer a painful realization may put herself at risk of harm." He turned towards the leader.

“You've been through a lot in your life, and had to watch the people you care about suffer. I think it would be best to have someone be a hundred percent there for Naruto...”

The rest may have been trailed off but it was not unheard. Tsunade simply closed in eyes in resignation, knowing the truth and just how much it kills her to see her brat so disoriented and confused. She won't be able to help if she is also taken down. It was bad enough when...

"Can it be you, then?" Kakashi asked the man, only to get a hesitant negative shake of the head.

"I'm not that good at comforting others...and though I feel great empathy for Naruto's situation, I myself haven't experienced anything like it. So I feel I wouldn't be the best person for the situation since I can't relate even a bit. For now...ahhh, perhaps we should think about it more deeply, but with clearer heads. As long as we make an important note not to let anything slip we may be fine for a bit longer. We will monitor him, without making it obvious that that's what we are doing. Agreed?" A round of chorus followed.

“Good. Now then-”

"Please wait for a moment," Kakashi spoke up. His shoulders were straight and his hands held behind his back. Shikamaru turned to face him fully.

"Naruto has made an indication that he would like to go out more. I say that because I met him on his way out to go Nashi picking, and tagged along before he went alone. While it seems that he very much enjoys the room, I don't know how long he will stay before wanting to see others, including his friends. I'm saying this, in case he brings it up at some point."

“Hmm, I almost wish he would be comfortable enough to stay in that room...possibly forever.” Everyone gave a nervous chuckle at the Hokage's seriousness, knowing if she could shrink Naruto and keep him on her at all times, she would. 

"But it can't be helped if it's something he absolutely wants, it's hard to stop him when he gets determined. Sakura!"

Said woman jumped in place before standing at attention with a loud 'yes!'

"The positions of a long-time friend belongs to you and the other graduates of the academy, so in case he wants to see any of them I'm ordering you to compile a list of those Naruto is friends with, in order from closeness! The ones he acts very close at the bottom, and the ones with, let say limited interactions at the top. Is that understood?!"

“Yes, my lady! I'll get on it right away.”

And right away she went, leaving the room with a respectable bow and running out. Kakashi took a look at the time before turning to leave as well, but not before putting a hand on the Hokage's shoulder. His face was full of sadness for her, but at a point that it was hard to tell if he was poking fun at her or not. He left before she could wave a hand powerful enough to send him to the edge of the village.

Tsunade sat down at her new desk with a thump, Shizune quickly at her side. Before Shikamaru could leave she called out to him.

“Oi, you. Come here.”

“What is it? It's too much effort to walk all the way back now.”

Tsunade grinned and motioned to the couch.

"Come, kid. You've been doing a lot lately and I can't have that. You're needed to help my Naruto. So come take a load off, open the window and take a nap on the couch. Shizune, get him some tea will ya?" She grabbed some papers out of the desk, which somehow all made it back from the broken one. No one but the assistant batted an eye. With a grunt, the Hokage stood up and began walking out.

“I'm going to the communication hub, watch the place for me!” She called over her shoulder.

“How can I watch the place if I'm sleeping...”

Shikamaru's complaining was either unheard or ignored, either way, it saved his skin. Getting all comfy on the couch he tossed an arm over his eyes and relaxed.

"I'll be back as well. Though I must say, this is the hardest I've seen your work." Shizune mused. From underneath his arm, she could spot a smirk.

"There's only one person who makes me wanna work this hard, and I hope someday to be his advisor. I guess you can say we're in the same footsteps.”

Like a flick of a light switch, he was sleeping. His heavy breathing was the only noise in the room. Shizune was frozen before a big smile bloomed on her face and she bowed to the sleeping man. She quietly shut the door behind her, all the while thinking of how similar they are.

'Two people looking after and helping strong and independent blondes with tempers. I hope we can share stories over alcohol someday!'

.

Kakashi bounded along the lamp posts and street signs, being mindful of the time to an extent when he spotted Iruka crossing the street. Shooting down immediately, he greeted the other.

"Yo! You taking a break?" Kakashi asked, crouching on top of a mailbox perfectly. Iruka jumped, more so than someone typically would, and frantically looked in his direction.

“Huh? Oh, ohh it's you Kakashi-san. Yes, I am on break.”

"A little lost in thought there weren't you." It wasn't a question, and Kakashi tilted his head to analyze the younger man. Iruka was abashed at being caught so absent-mindedly roaming the streets. To try and save himself a little dignity he tried to change the subject.

“Ahh, yes sorry about that. What about you? Are you heading out on a mission?”

Kakashi hummed and stretched up tall on the mailbox, easing out his back. He looked down at Iruka who was craning his neck to see him from that point. Feeling a nice wind stream, Kakashi shook his head lazily about in order for it to brush through and muse up his hair before looking back to Iruka.

“You are a tiny man! How do you live while being so tiny?”

"Ah?! T-this is hardly fair now..." The two lightly bickered together.

“So you are free right now?” Kakashi asked in feign uncaring way. When the other man confirmed his suspicions Kakashi swooped down to his level and grabbed his hand.

“Good, now then...off to visit Naruto!”

Iruka wasn't even able to say anything before he was hauled off by Kakashi, being dragged behind him at a break-neck speed. He sputtered and twisted but Kakashi was determined. Digging his heels in the ground as much as possible, Iruka pulled back with enough force to make Kakashi pause.

“Wait! Wait wait wait wait wait! Kakashi-”

“Yes-”

“Kakashi!-”

“Yes, I'm Kakashi.-”

“I don't think now is a good time for me to visit, I mean there is a class I will need to get back to eventually. Besides that, if I wasn't invited in the first place it may be more harmful to him to have someone he wasn't expecting.” Iruka argued with the other man and yanked himself free. Rubbing his wrist, he looked back to Kakashi while trying to convey how serious he was.

"While I agree that surprise visitors may be bad at the moment, I think you would be an exception considering how close you two are. However, that doesn't seem to be the real reason you don't want to go..." Kakashi's shadow loamed over the brown-haired man, crisp leaves scattering at their feet as he stood closer.

“-It isn't the truthful reason, right? So what is it?”

A beat of silence, though instead of having his questions answered Iruka swiftly looked away with a 'hmph!'

“I'm not going to let you bully me as you please, Kakashi-san! People tend to have their own reasons for not doing something, and I have mine. Please don't drag me as you please next time.”

Without waiting for a reaction Iruka turned on his heel and began to walked away. Kakashi watched him with an unreadable expression while looking back to where Naruto would be waiting. It was a difficult fork in the road, and a hard decision to make. Go see Naruto like he wanted, or go and try to figure out one of Naruto's precious people? Kakashi would much prefer to lay in the middle of the road and get hit by a cart but a decision had to be made. So he made one.

.

.

Naruto sat at his room's windowsill, fresh from a bath and calmy paying attention to a short round bird. Every time the wind blew he caught the scent of someone doing laundry somewhere close by, and it made him think of the people in the village and how they were living their lives right now. It was difficult being torn between wanting to go out and see what everyone was doing and how they were behaving versus not wanting to see anyone ever again. Naruto sighed and held a finger out to the bird that sat on his head and kept pulling on strands of his hair. The moment he sat it down to the food he prepared a figure quickly bolted over the back fence startling him. The person landing in a powerful pose, fist to the ground in their squat before they got up and dusted themselves off, patting at their hair and clothes frantically. The person started walking towards the back door lost in thought before they finally looked up and Naruto and Sakura locked eyes.

Sakura's wide eyes focused on Naruto's own tired and somewhat daydreamy eyes. He looked...like he was a lot older than he was, Sakura thought. She bit the inside of her cheek to stifle her unwarranted humor, as she couldn't settle between him looking like someone who has seen war and back or a tired and long-suffering mother about to take no shit from their child. His eyes wavered in and out of focus as he registered who she was before he came fully into the present with a focused hypnotic look. Sakura gave a greeting.

“H...Hey, Naruto! Sorry for coming so suddenly, and I know I'm not who you were expecting so if you want me to go I'll understand.”

'Yo, uh, Kakashi dumped a lot of information on me when I was busy doing the Hokage's orders and then vanished so I came here. If ya don't want me to be here that's cool, I'll go beat him up for ya.' Sakura thought what she really wanted to say in her mind, knowing it wouldn't be proper to say it out loud. It took a moment for Naruto to reply as he looked at her as if she was an imposter or something of the like before he tipped his head for her to come closer.

“You are not who I expected but it's fine. What happened to the others?" Naruto inquired, leaning his head on his propped hand. His voice was gravelly and low, emphasizing how empty and drain he really was.

"Uhhh, something came up that needed the Hokage's attention. Though trust me when I say she tried to get out of it. I wouldn't be surprised if you heard her protest from here though."

Naruto thought back to the noisy crashing sound he heard earlier.

"A-aaa, yeah I heard it... Well, I suppose it doesn't matter much. Did you know if they had a purpose to this visit in the first place or was it just a way for Tsunade to try and sweet talk me into letting her do a complete check-up?"

Sakura was busy taking in the bird and Naruto, comparing how both looked to be small and fragile creatures. They looked...cute together. As if Naruto belonged with forest creatures. Sakura bit her lip again, doing her bust not to remark on how adorable the scene was.

"Oh, you're right on the mark! Though I would guess that after all this time you would be sensitive to her will and wants by now?" Naruto nodded his head, thinking back to all the occasions after he was discharged from past experiences that the Hokage visit him.

"She's determined if nothing else, all the times she tried to stealthily check me with her chakra by rubbing my back or patting my shoulder, I couldn't count them all on one hand."

Naruto brought up his hand at the end of his sentence...his only hand. Sakura nearly spat in her effort to not burst out laughing, her eyes wide and face red behind her hands. Naruto merely gave a sly smile, meaning she was off the hook at laughing at something others would consider inappropriate. Naruto continued to look out at the land in front of him, and as Sakura resettled she thought about how much distance there felt between them. She decided to lean against the wall of the building, moving carefully to not startle the other. Naruto's eyes flickered over to her but ended up return to the garden. There was stillness between them.

'Is this silence as uncomfortable for me as it is for her? Or is she fine like this?' Naruto thought.

'Holy hell this is an intense silence, I feel like I'm being smothered. Come on Sakura, think of something to say!'

"Hey-" "So-" They both started at once. At once they both stopped and waiting for the other to continue before silence lapsed again.

"...oh my God, this is awkward," Naruto said low.

"Right!? Oh, god, I hate this feeling. I hate it!" Sakura jumped up and yelled.

"Heh, jeez!....jeez..." Naruto rubbed his face, and in the moments it was exposed Sakura saw the truly pained look he had. The distressed expression, the parted lips. Naruto sank back further into the inside weakly, as if gravity was becoming too much. The sentence Sakura was about to give left that instant. She moved preferably closer, close enough to block the sun from his face, and asked;

“Can I come in?”

Naruto looked up with a breaking expression and Sakura had no idea what the next emotion would be. And that hurt her just as well, watching her friend struggle with so many unstable emotions. Naruto's eyes darted, the bag underneath becoming more pronounced before he answered.

"I think it would be nice to sit out there instead." He said, gesturing to the pond with some floating firey leaves in it.

They both sat close to the pond, Sakura sat gracefully with her legs tucked correctly underneath her and Naruto plopped down like a sack, with one leg tucked and the other grazing the water.

"Isn't that water chilly?" She asked incredulously. Naruto shook his head. After a beat of silence, he darted his gaze over to her.

“Hey. You've been staring at me for a while now without saying anything.”

“Huh?! Oh! Oh no, I'm sorry-”

"Why aren't you saying anything? You look like you have a lot on your mind, and normally you would say something by now. What, is something holding you back?" Naruto asked teasingly at the end, however, his voice was still kept flat which gave it an almost...accusing undertone.

Sakura looked down at the water, her upset face settling to a more mature and neutral look.

“It's not you. It's not because of you and your condition, please know that.”

She said that with such intensity that Naruto had nowhere to argue.

"Well, that's good then. Should have said that sooner though so I wasn't in my thoughts thinking that's what it was."

Sakura startled at Naruto's sarcasm, a smile twitching at her lips. She always loved when sarcastic Naruto came out.

“So what is it then? Come now, I don't want to spend all this time trying to drag it out of you.”

"Oh, well...I don't think it's something I should bring up now. It's not right for me to come here and just unload all of my problems on you, especially when you have problems of your own. What kind of person would I be?" Thankful Sakura was a quick thinker and immediately thought of something bothering her that didn't have to do with Naruto.

“What kind of person would I be if only my problems were allowed to be discussed. Just because what's bothering you may not be on the same level of what's bothering me, doesn't mean you aren't allowed to say or feel the way you do." Naruto spoke so casually as he looked up at the leaves above them, and Sakura was memorized as one leaf fell and practically dance its way into Naruto's waiting palm. His eyes lidded as he took in the beautiful leaf, as fiery as his soul and will. It all happened so perfectly, like a scene out of a novel.

“...Holy shit.” Sakura breathed out.

“Eh?”

Clamping both hands roughly over her mouth Sakura turned away. Naruto watched in confusion as she shook her head at herself and smoothed her hair out again, even though it was fine. It was beautiful even. She let it grow longer than her chin and had it braided and thrown over her shoulder. The green seal, the proof of all her vicious and determined hard work sat proudly on her forehead, no bangs hiding it from view. She turned back around, an air of dignity around her and they once more locked eyes.

Sakura noted that Naruto didn't hold it for three seconds.

"Ahhh. Um, well, maybe you won't say that if I told you what was causing my problems. It's a subject that I would understand if you didn't want to talk about or hear about for that matter. I would totally understand..."

“What's the subject?” Naruto asked with a tilt.

“My...parents. I'm having some issues with my parents...”

Sakura kept her head down and let the quietness commence, eventually peaking through her eyelashes to see her friend's reaction. Naruto sat with his knee up and arm resting on it, his brow furrowed and teeth clenched in deep thought. She was about to play it off, or reiterate that it wasn't something worth talking about because obviously she couldn't...she shouldn't have...

But she did before. Without even thinking about her friend and teammate's feelings she rubbed her family in his orphaned life. She already hurt him easily before. Sakura opened her mouth, pink painted lips ready to let loose a hell of an apology and beg for forgiveness, but was cut off before she could speak.

"Tell me what the situation is like," Naruto commanded. Ever so slightly he tilted his head in her direction without looking at her. Which gave a more intent feeling than if she had to look directly into his fierce eyes.

“I don't really feel like asking again, by the way.”

Oooo, Naruto was not playing around today. Sakura swallowed a lump in her throat and quickly thought out her options, and which ones would lead to the least amount of stress to him.

"The situation? Well...all I really want to say at the moment is that we are fighting. My parents want me to be this...version of me that I can't become. They always have wanted that, however lately they have been more...intense? I would say? It just got to the point that I...feel like I may want to move out."

Naruto contemplated what she said, before saying something that truly shocked Sakura.

"I know what you think I might say; something along the lines of 'you should be grateful to have a family at all' and 'just do what they want since at least you has a family to go home to'"-

Sakura flinched at the words.

"-But that is not always the case. Yeah, I think kids should appreciate the family they have, but it goes both ways. If your parents are fine with continuously hurting and diminishing your emotions then that's not good. You didn't ask to be brought into this world you know? While I hate kids who treat their families terribly for no reason, I also equally hate parents who feel like they can disown their own children just because they're not growing up to be what they want. I don't know though, I don't think what I'm saying really matters in this case because I had nobody. I don't know what a parent and child relationship is like, or how it would be different from a teacher and student relationship, or even if there is a difference. I just think a family can be the one you are born with or it can be a found family. As long as everyone accepts and loves each other I suppose..."

Naruto trailed off, losing himself in the ripples of the water. Losing himself in the version of him that was a terrible father. That Not-world, he originally thought it was a place where his deepest wishes came true. But if that was a reflection of what he truly wanted then...why did he treat his own son like that? Would he really do that? Would he choose....the position of the Hokage over a family of his own?

'Just what kind of person would that make me...'

Naruto tried to blink the blurriness out of his eyes and found it near impossible. His vision couldn't stray from the water, from the liquid film over his eyes. Would he really be such a terrible parent?

“Sakura...”

"Yes?" Came the tentative reply.

“If I had the choice...between having my dream come true, or having a family of my own. Which one....do you think I would pick?”

From his side, he saw Sakura shift and ever so carefully scoot closer.

"Isn't your dream and having a family the same thing?" Sakura said. Naruto whipped his head in her direction, their faces close and he absolutely caught off guard. His dream...and having a family the same thing? That is...That is!

"I see...I see!" Naruto gave the most gut-wrenching wavering smile Sakura has ever seen before collapsing onto his back on the ground. With one strong swoop of his leg, he kicked the water straight up into the air, and Sakura became enshrined at the sight. Glistening droplets seemed to move in slow motion, reflecting the changing leaves and the world in a display of glittering red and orange.

'The sky...it's like the sky cracked open...' Sakura gasped. And then the water came down onto Naruto, who did not react at all to the cold even though so much of it dampened his clothes. The shattered but beautiful sky fall onto him and Naruto took it delightedly.

Later that night she would have a realistic dream of Naruto sleeping on a cloud, dripping in shiny, multi-color pearls with his hands clasped over his chest. She only knew it was a dream because he had both arms in it-

Naruto's eyes fluttered as Sakura leaned over him, seemingly absorbed in watching him. He closed his eyes again and asked in an even voice;

“Tell me about your family. What are they like?”

"Oh? Ummm." Naruto could sense Sakura get comfortable, shifting her legs so she was no longer sitting in a decent traditional way. He could feel the ghost of her leg brush up against his own, leaving a prickly static feeling.

“Well for starters my parents; their names are Mebuki and Kizashi Haruno.”

"Hmm...I think I remember seeing the one...starfish guy?"

"Pfft, hahaha! Starfish! I love it! Yeah, that would be my papa."

“You call him Papa?” Naruto turned his head in her direction even though he still wasn't looking at her fully.

"Ah! I try to do it privately. Some people say it's childish to call them Mama or Papa after a certain age, so in public, I try Oka-san and Otou-san. But at home, it's Mama and Papa! Ah sou, starfish you said? He does have crazy style hair doesn't he?"

“Is it naturally like that or-”

"No no, he does it on purpose. You see, to tell you the truth. Mama and Papa actually use to be delinquents!" Sakura whispered in a mocked conspiring manner. 

At this news, Naruto did open his eyes in surprise.

"Delinquents?"

"Mm! Mama use to lead an all-girls delinquent group, she even had a pompadour with really long hair in the back. She spoke with a rough accent and wore a long skirt with bandages around her chest, oh! She also had an old kendo sword she would carry everywhere. Papa was from a rival gang; he was a pretty big guy and for his age, he already had chest hair. That and because of how poofy and wild he let his hair run he was given the nickname 'wild lion of the west.'

“The...west?”

“Heh, the west of Konoha.”

Naruto couldn't stop his lip from twitching at that.

“So they were rivals then?”

"Back when they didn't see each other face to face. She was a leader of her gang, he was the leader of his...and then when this war or something between the two gangs was going to happen they met on the battlefield, took one look at each other, and fell in love!"

“Really?”

"Really! Trust me I had to hear the story of their first encounter so many times. My papa told me that he fell in love that instant and together they turned on the two fighting gangs and beat everyone there up. Papa says it took a bit for Mama to admit she loved him too, but that was only a couple of days. She was swept off her feet. She goes on and on about fighting that day and looking into 'that handsome lion's eyes'...ugh." Sakura rolled her eyes then, and just maybe in the past her face would be pinched with disgust. But it seems now that there was a bit of fondness in recounting the story. She must have listened to it more than a hundred times, but her parent's face's whenever it was told spoke of how much they truly loved each other.

Naruto on the other hand was enamored with it. His eyes were wide and sparkling with awe.

"That sounds amazing! How lucky they are to have found each other in that way."

'This cute little romantic!' Sakura thought to herself. It was a nice change in pace to tell that story and have someone be enchanted with it.

“I should take you to listen to it sometime. It would make them so happy to hear you say that!" Sakura gave a sharp and toothy smile, one that scrunched up her entire face. Then she looked down again and tiredness seeped into her expression. Naruto from his position couldn't tell if the water was reflecting in her eyes or if tears were pricking at the corner. He sat up, and in doing so brushed their shoulders together. Although it was on accident, it carried a reassurance to continue. Sakura sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Those two lived a rough and tumble life, getting into fights and being in gangs. They fell in love quickly and wouldn't let anyone tell them otherwise, even the Haruno family refuse. Oh! My Papa took my Mama's last name! They had a contest for it, a fight in between them, and whoever lost had to be the one to take the other's last name. But Mama's family alwaaays hated the way Mama did things. They wanted her to find a less chaotic man to settle down with, one that wouldn't encourage her to act as she did. Then they had me, at a really young age too. They wanted to live life the way they wanted and in the beginning, it was fun. I would go watch Sumo with Papa all the time and he would show me all the tips and tricks he learned and we would wrestle, while Mama would bring me to visit her fellow gang members and have fun. Then one day it changed. Mama no longer wanted me to have a strained relationship with the rest of the family. She started changing; wearing more feminine clothes and acting polite. She wouldn't sit crouched or with her legs open anymore, she quit smoking and drinking too. The thing is she wasn't a bad mother in the first place! She was always there and always kept me safe, there wasn't anything to complain about. There wasn't anything...bad..."

“And your Papa?” Naruto asked gently.

“Oh, well he was just happy to be with Mama, especially after he lost their last battle. When she started changing everything he knew he would have to do things differently too. It was pretty easy for him though, he is now a part of a children's show called 'Let's all have a good morning!' Parents just love him, as he makes the children laugh while also being gentle with him, and he has a high amount of people listening on the radio! That hairstyle that Papa wears now is for the children too, so they wouldn't be so afraid to run up to him if he looked silly like that. The lion got rid of his roaring mane and bloody fist to settle into a more gentle lifestyle. All in all, he made himself to be a popular guy...and Mama loves that. She loves it..."

Sakura trailed off after punching the air when she was talking about her father. Her face rippled with unspoken emotion as much as the pond did, hiding the view of what lurked underneath with the constant movement.

"What is it?" Naruto asked. He leaned forward, his gaze focused on the rocks on the other side of the water. Deformation, fractions, crystal strength, and weakness. From a shy glance, Naruto saw Sakura's fingers tangling themselves in her braided hair, the pink threads bristling as she tightened her grip and twisted-and then she smoothed in all out again in habitual movements.

“...A-” Naruto looked at her then, but whatever she was truly going to say never made it past her colored lips. The topic changed, and neither one had the energy to dig out whatever she was pushing deep.

"You know, sometimes I wonder how different I would have been if the teams we were assigned to were different. I mean, I was book smart as hell but when it came to strength...well. I just never pushed as much as I could have at that time in my life, and then I got to know you two better."

“You two...you mean, Sasuke and I?” The lake shuddered in the wind, and the light rumbling came to his chest at the thought of the letter he had carefully hidden.

“Mm! You two pushed me to be better after all!” Sakura smiled brightly and put a hand on her forearm and flexed.

"To get stronger. To reach the same level. Both of you had very precious things you were fighting for, and your goals were just so breathtaking I think! They were goals that kids our age didn't really have. Every single time I saw how hard you would just push yourselves into the mud without a care of who saw you, it slowly made me realize that the path I had laid out really wasn't the one I wanted all along. I never realized that I had deeper goals hidden just under the surface the whole time." Sakura tilted her head back and slowly extended a hand towards the ever vast sky. Her face spoke of deep thought and emotion, a nostalgic look for a place she hasn't been to yet. Naruto sighed to himself in thought, his face not betraying how quickly his mind was turning. There was a lot about Sakura...that Naruto never knew. He didn't know about her family, or how much the actions of her teammates influenced her today. Naruto never knew....he never thought...

“-I never thought you were weak, or anything like that.”

Sakura gasped and whipped her head towards him, her pink hair flaring around her.

“You...didn't?” Naruto shook his head, gradually stretching out his legs.

"No. Everyone has their own different wants and wills in life, and I think it would speak poorly on me if I never realized that everyone is raised differently in this world. I mean, just because you didn't train the same as the two orphan kids with issues doesn't mean you weren't on the same level, right? You grew up one way, as did we. I'm not going to judge you when I don't understand how it was for you to grow up, the only time I will judge you is if you think your past means you get to treat other people like trash or not."

Sakura's brilliant emerald eyes shimmered in the light, her awe and excitement of what Naruto said poofing up her bangs framing her face like a squirrel's tail. The face she was making was reminiscent of how she looked as a genin that for a moment, the shadow of her other self was drowned beneath the waves. Naruto couldn't help but smile at her face, and to hide it he went to stand up only for a sharp pain to nearly bring him to his knees.

“Ah!”

His foot hurts! Naruto flinched at the pain that thudded like a heartbeat.

“Can I look at it?”

Lifting his eyes Naruto only says Sakura's chest. She didn't lean down to be face to face with him, but he could tell she was analyzing his foot and not looking at his face anyway.

He didn't want her to give a check-up...however this pain...

"You sure you want that? If Tsunade finds out you got to give me a check-up when she has been trying so hard she might get mad ya know?" Sakura huffed a laugh and sat lower to his face.

"It can be our secret then." She whispered. Naruto clenched his hand and agreed non-the-less. At first, he refused to use Sakura as a crutch to help him walk, but halfway to his room the sharp stabbing pain nearly left his whole leg feeling numb. Before he realized what was happing, the apprentice of Tsunade came behind him and lifted him like a princess to carry him inside. Naruto's face went beet red. They were inside quicker than he could argue and at once Sakura put him on his bed and bent down to his feet.

“I'm going to start alright? This is the foot the hurts the most, correct?”

Naruto gave his response to both and laid back on the bed, his arm shielding his eyes. The tingling feeling that always came when medic-ninjutsu was used. It felt like bubble wrap was being rubbed over the outside and inside of his foot. It was...weird feeling, but he couldn't say he hated it. Sakura paused a few times at the sight of his feet and it was only now that Naruto realized he forgot to watch and treat them. He was so used to Kurama...Whatever was the cause was found as Sakura gave a sharp intake of breath and stood up to go to the medical cabinet. Naruto watched without moving or lifting up his head, straining to see as she got some equipment from the stand as well as pull some out of the medi-pack she had strapped to her back. Turning around her serious expression waived when she looked at him. Naruto caught on and purposefully tunneled his head down more, giving him the impression of having no neck but multiple chins and a puffy face. Sakura used the action of putting on some gloves to hide her laugh.

“I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that you have a very thin but sharp piece of glass stuck in your foot.” She said as she quickly made her way back.

“Eh?”

"Its shape is similar to sewing needled, I have to theorize that the...incident at the shop a few days ago is the cause. Your foot stepped onto a thin slice that entered easily enough that it left no significant exit wound." Bending back down on the floor Sakura surveyed both feet and hummed.

“You have tiny bits of glass in both, but the one that is hurting you has the longest piece. The pain you are feeling is from it shifting inside and inching towards nerves. Is it alright for me to take it out, Naruto?”

'The medical Sakura sure is here, in all seriousness and intent.' Naruto thought. He put his arm back over his eyes.

“Just the feet?”

“Just the feet.”

“You aren't going to look anywhere else?”

“I won't look anywhere else.”

“You better promise, cause I'll be able to feel it you know?”

“I promise I won't look anywhere else. I also want to heal it...”

“Mm.” Naruto nodded and Sakura instantly got to work. The round pressing feeling was back, and it was incredible to feel her chakra changing in shape, thining and moving in an unthinkable degree. 

'This is what expert chakra control feels like.' Naruto thought in amazement. He busied himself with the feeling, then the glass moved. Whatever cool and distant facade that Naruto had was gone the second Sakura's chakra began to pull the small pieces of glass out first. Gripping the sheets Naruto tried not to jerk away his foot and kick.

“AaaaaAAAAAaaa!”

Sakura listened to the whine coming out of Naruto's clenched teeth as the smaller pieces of glass started poking out of the skin. Giving one more pull they fell into the metal tray in her hands, and she quickly wiped the blood and went right back to it. Each time a bit of a glass grazed too close to a nerve Naruto jolted and gave another high pitch whine, mixed in from the pain and the ticklish feeling of having something move inside his foot. Whatever hold he had over himself left though, when Sakura began to pull the biggest piece.

“Ah fuck, I take it back leave me alone!”

“I'm sorry, please hold on for just a bit longer.” Setting the tray on the ground, Sakura got a gentle yet firm hold on his ankle.

"Oh godssss, for the rest of your life whenever you feel the calmest I'm gonna come from the corner of your vision and levitate towards you with ill intent."

"Pfft Hahaha!!!" Sakura laughed harshly at the fast-spoken threat Naruto gave in the most force-deadpan voice she has ever heard. Feeling a clean path inside and still laughing, Sakura pulled the long piece of glass out as quickly as comfortable, hearing it ting as it landed in the metal tray. The other one only had similar small pieces, and it was much easier to get them out. Finally, she finished and was left holding a small tray filled with glittering bits of glass.

“Alright, I got the pieces out!”

Naruto slowly lifted himself up, the act making the balls of his feet grace the floor.

'The pain is gone.'

Sitting up like he was a drunk he tentatively placed his feet on the ground and pushed some weight into them. The sharp and near paralyzing pain that he has been dealing with was just...gone. Naruto peered into the tray that Sakura used and saw all the little bits and pieces that were inside him this whole time, and he never realized. He knew that the bottom of his soles was really injured, just not that it was internal as well. Naruto carefully stood up and his legs shook. Why are they shaking? He doesn't have anything else right? It doesn't feel like there is anything so what is this feeling? It was like he lost something-

'Ah,' Naruto thought at once. 'It's not a loss. I just got used to the feeling of being empty of Chakra.'

There was chakra inside of him, for a brief moment but it wasn't his. And now that it's gone he truly could feel how hollow and empty he was, like the bones of a bird. The awful feeling was most predominantly in his legs where the healing was focused. Naruto took another shuddering step, determined to keep walking. He thought about turning on his heel, of dancing in the middle of the room on his now not painful steps. He made up his mind, he was going to do that-

That wasn't an option he was giving himself. He was going to get up and walk...but he couldn't. Everything below the knees was tingly, everything below the elbow was tingly but only on his arm missing a limb. It feels like his body wanted to suck up the intruding chakra, like a dehydrated camel with water. It couldn't, though. He couldn't. There was nothing, and underneath that nothing where there was usually something, something hidden or stored or not his was more nothing.

"....Thank you...." Naruto's stare didn't leave the wall across from him, his gaze focusing in and out around the stove, and he collapsed down. 

He couldn't do what he wanted to.

Sakura screamed his name, but Naruto left his body. For a moment there was just him in the room, and then Sakura spoke. She was putting away the equipment she got out when she noticed Naruto struggling, and then fall back. To her, time froze. It was so eerily similar, a painted image of him collapsing on the war grounds. She jerked towards him, her arms outstretched to catch him before he landed harshly on the ground when he stopped higher than her muscle memory remembered. It wasn't instant, like Naruto's. The battleground and Naruto's bedroom were fused together in her sight, tightly interwoven to create a whole new place altogether. It was the emptiness when she went to grab his arm that pushed her towards the surface of reality. It seemed so stupid...something so small and then they both were sitting on the bed, Sakura on her knees behind Naruto and both of them breathing hard and strained. Naruto didn't say anything, his head was someone on a snowy mountain at the moment. Though, he was right there. Right in front of her. Sakura bent down just a breath away, where she was able to smell Naruto's scent. She couldn't stop herself from gingerly leaning her forehead on the back of his shoulder. Her hands coming around his waist, one that was too thin, and held them there. Held him. It was so nice and right to have him in her grasp that Sakura cried a little. She couldn't see him from this view but to her delight and the cause of more tears to fall, Naruto leaned back into the touch, chasing the warmth. A satisfied sigh escaped from him. Internally Sakura was thinking the same thing she has been thinking for years now.

'I wish I could go back. I wish there was a way for me to go back in time, to the genin days. I would do things differently. I would make sure you two didn't suffer alone. I wish I could go back.'

“Naruto?”

Said person came back from wherever he traveled to if the sudden tense and cautious relaxation of shoulders was anything to go by. Sakura peeked her head up, wondering what the next move should be. Her eyes darted as she thought of and remembered the observations she made since she was welcomed in. Something clicked, she bite her lip before bringing it up.

“Do you, want to go visit the Hokage?”

"Uh?" Naruto's eyelashes fluttered, and his eyes focused solely on her.

“I know she had something to do, don't worry. But I normally bring her some food and it's around that time. We can stop at the tea house I frequent and pick her up some food? Ah, before you give me an answer. I want to say that the tea shop owner, Hanagawa-chan in blind. So how about it?”

The doubt and reluctance in Naruto's eyes cleared away when she mentioned the blind shop owner, just as she expected. Given him a few moments to think, Sakura reluctantly stood up and stretched her back out, standing at the end of his bed ready to move in case he fell back again.

"...Sure...why not?" Naruto stood, a lot slower this time and did his best to face her. "Oh, um is this fine what I'm wearing? I don't know the etiquette."

Sakura looked down at his Kimono romper. It was something only women would wear, however, all considering what she knows...

"Mm! It looks nice! I have to say though, seeing this much of your skin is a little shocking, I think? Hmm, but it really makes your nicely shaped legs stand out."

"Oi, take a step back now old man." Naruto bluntly said, staring down at the woman he was blatantly feeling up his legs and observing them way too closely. Sakura looked up in shock before smiling.

“Oho? You don't need to mind this Oji-san here! Come come, let's get going. I know a street that won't be busy right now.”

-

Thankfully Sakura did know which way was the least crowded and the both of them walked down an area virtually alone. It gave him a bit of a headache, though, walking a slightly unfamiliar street with a slightly unfamiliar version of Sakura along with a terribly unfamiliar version of himself. Naruto breathed in the chilling air, feeling it strengthen his presence of a real flesh and blood person before shooting a glance at his companion. Sakura walked with both hands clasped together in front of herself, something that was a learned behavior as she kept switching between walking like that and having them simply hang by her side. Naruto watched for a moment and made a realization.

“Are you...taller than me?”  

"Huh?!" Sakura gave a surprised face before bringing a hand up and measuring the both of them. Her smug expression wasn't able to be suppressed.

"Ooooh? Oho? Well, how do you like that?" It was meant to be teasing and to lighten the air, and she tried her best but Sakura's smile wavered and faltered. As if it was insulting to keep up the charade. The teasing melted off, and she sighed deeply. Under Naruto's imploring gaze she answered.

"Well, it's not like you can help it, right? Growing up without all the nutrition and health you needed...It's not really something to make fun of.”

"..." Naruto didn't have anything to add on, nor could he say something along the lines of 'no that didn't happen.' It was the truth, but it was also the first time someone acknowledged it. It felt weird...

'I was the shortest guy in our class in the academy, but for the reason why that was so...Ah, even I forget that that's the reason.'

Sakura made a nudging motion towards him and directed them to a building covered in greenery, from vines to potted plants in the upper windows to hanging pots secured around the pointed arches of the roof. Naruto looked to both ends of the fence holding it all in, seeing the many Chinese lanterns growing around it.

“Would you like to go in with me?”

Sakura looked hopeful and tentative at him, gesturing inside the owner's bakery shop. However, Naruto, in the end, declined to go in, and opt to simply wait by the gate for her to come back out. There was no one around the street right now, and if someone did come along it would be easy for him to just go on the other side of the fence or simply put all his energy into blending in with the vining lanterns. Sakura didn't push him to go in, and once she ducked out of sigh the pain-splitting headache also left in pulsing waves.

'Not good...Being around her while knowing all that I did to her in my dream is just too much. I feel like my head is cracking at both temples. Haa...maybe I should turn back...'

Naruto rubbed his entire face to ease the pain, feeling like his dream age was coming back to haunt him. As he wiped away his sins a shadow fall over him without him realizing it. Naruto blinked his bleary eyes and came face to face with a kimono-clad chest. Shocked he tried to back up, hit the fence he was leaning against, and looked up at the too close, smiling face of the person in front of him. Eerily pale skin, ink-black hair.

“Sai.” The name slipped out. Sai, hearing it simply smiled bigger and leaned in closer to his personal space.

“Well well, look who finally woke up. What are you doing out here all alone, little stray cat?”

Chapter Text

Sakura kept her eyes towards the entrance as long as she could; even after she could no longer see Naruto standing there, his back to her and his head pointed to the sky. The gray stone walls and entangling vines slowly elongated as she walked further in, separating her from him. She couldn't help but linger there, only snapping back to focus when Hanagawa-chan the snack shop owner's voice greeted her. 'It will be fine. I won't be long, it will be fine.'

Outside, an ominous-looking figure stalked toward its target. Each heavy step crunched fallen leaves underfoot, and terribly dark hair swayed, the colors of fresh ink dripping from a paintbrush. The color that was ready to write a beginning of a tale or bring forth an ending. In contrast to Naruto, whose sun-kissed skin paled and lightened from being away from the waking world for so long, Sai's skin was eerily and inhumanly white. Both of these characteristics and if he ever kept his mouth shut, would make Sai a commodity in the land; respected and adored by the women and men of hundred years ago who sought desperately to obtain the ultimate beauty of pale and dark. Of black and white. A sign of nobility, delicateness, and perfection.

That is, again, if Sai ever knew when to be quiet.

Against the vivid earthy tones and blooming death around him, Sai looked most unwitting for this world, as if he was a painting. Naruto couldn't look away. He was already reaching his limit from having been with Sakura for so long. Pages of layers slipped in his vision and the guilt that plagued him stayed the whole time. But Sai could be a break in that, a breath. Not a deep breath, more like a small gasp one would give before they plunged back below.

"Who exactly are you calling a stray cat?" And Sai was also a means for him to take out his frustration. So there was that.

Sai's eyes cinched up in delight as if an old candle was finally lit again. Naruto kept his eyes set on the other, through his blurred vision from the force of the headache he had. Even before...everything, the other man was great at making him feel on edge. It got better as they got closer, though, Sai still had a tendency or love for a verbal battle.

"Well...there is no one else around, right? The only people here are me, and you," Sai carefully pointed a delicate-looking finger to himself and then to Naruto. It's movement fluid and belonging only to that of an artist. "Wouldn't that make the stray cat...you?" Black moon-like eyes bore into his own. Whatever Naruto was going to verbally throw back at him died in his throat when Sai in a flash came to loom over him. One arm slammed against the stone wall with a thunderous sound, caging him in.

'He's wearing a kimono. It looks vaguely familiar. 'Naruto's brain offered that one hobble of thought at the same time that a panic switch was flipped internally, an intrusive amount of senses came from Sai. From this close, Naruto could see the details of the scissoring light blue veins on the pale neck, and hear the fabric he wore shift and flutter together. More importantly, he could feel the heat from Sai's own body and how close Sai was to touch him. With a sharp intake of breath Naruto's entire being static up. His heart gave one heavy and painful beat before pounding like a drum. Determined to fight through this, determined to not fall into that spiral that was always waiting for him he looked up into Sai's eyes. Instantly his faltering brave smile dropped, as the first thing he saw was his reflection in Sai's eyes. So close...so black. Naruto looked into someone and saw but himself, a shaken and scared-looking nobody who didn't match up with any concoction he had of himself. He didn't know who that person was, and with abject horror, Naruto swore he saw his reflection reach out toward him. Tightly pulled strings were plucked somewhere, perhaps inside his own brain as the reflection of him shattered, each piece showing a different him that ever existed. Including....the not him. 

The clouds cast quickening shadows over them as they moved far faster than should be possible, making the building look as if there were toppling over. Naruto shuddered harshly and bit the inside of his cheek.  

The world that was tightening in on them pulled away just slightly in a blink, flickering in his peripherals as he regain some form of composure. 

'Which one do you want?' Whispering questions came from inside. 

'Which one is better?'

'What will trigger the event this time?'

'Will a single touch wake you again?' 

'Will those pale bony hands pull you right back to where you were?' 

'You ask who is real around you, but fail to ask if you yourself are real as well.' 

 Sai leaned in close, having no knowledge or faltering of the absolute wonders that were happening in Naruto's mind.

Naruto, who was still reeling from having a hallucination again and trying to piece together the reason for his very existence in as little time as possible, turned his head away as the pale face come closer, a grimace firmly on his face as he waited for Sai to stop moving so near. Unfocused eyes, with great force, finally clicked back together to flick back over to the trigger source.  Sai, the man who always had trouble with his emotions-with being human-but still somehow had a carefree air around him began to change before his very eyes. In fact, to Naruto's apprehension, he glanced up and saw that Sai's neutral facial features were slowly contorting into a deep expression of some kind. Something that was never seen on that face before. Eyebrows lowered and furrowed together with deep lines that caused his nose to scrunch. His eyes narrowed and creased at the edges, creating something heartfelt and hurt as he took Naruto all in. Sai's mouth opened and a strangled sound came out as a hundred sentences tried to come at once. Naruto could hear the arm above his head tremble. 

The shock of Sai becoming human in front of him easily slipped Naruto out of whatever insane downfall he was heading to. A pure type of confusion and awe at this...sight helped him return to the present so unconsciously. 

"You..." Sai croaked out. The lone word ending on a high note that it could have been taken as a question. 

Naruto squeaked back. His hand twitched as it sought to firmly press against the stone wall while he watched the memorizing scene of Sai expressing emotions. 

Both of their line of sight was broken when a steady arm fell in the space between the two before a hand came and firmly tapped Sai on his chest. What looked like a light and small touch ended up raising a sharp gust of wind as Sai was pushed away with an unanticipated speed and distance. Naruto relaxed his shoulders a bit as Sai slid backward on his feet further away, only coming to a stop once his back slammed into a tree. The force of the crash caused the already fragile dead leaves above to fall in a heap and scatter. Sai straightened himself up like a zombie and stared down the one who interrupted, black eyes glaring through the foliage of color. Startled, Naruto looked up at the person who helped him out. Standing between Sai and him now was Sakura, her glare much harsher in the lighting as she dared Sai to move again, the takeaway bag in her hand swung in the increased wind.

'Uwaa~ She looks so cool right now. Just like a star!'  Naruto couldn't help but think as he hid his gasping mouth behind his hand. Sakura seemed so cool and strong at the moment and he was even more starstruck at her helping him get Sai away. With a click of her tongue, she turned to Naruto and clasped his hand in hers, placing the bag of goodies in it with a way more gentle touch than with Sai.

"Sorry, it took me so long. Normally the Hokage's food takes more time anyway but sensing the commotion I took what I could and ran out. Aaa~ I wasn't able to get my lady what she wanted, all because a certain somebody with no brain came along...Sai.”

"Don't be mean to me," Sai immediately replied back. "You...knew he was here," Sai quickly made a bunch of connections in his head as his sharp eyes shot between the two. "So how long have you been awake playing with other people hm, Naruto? When were you going to tell me you were awake? This is quite hurtful to me you know."

His face twitched, but not much emotion was shown besides a slight curl of the brow. The more neutral face was back. Although his voice has gotten better at projecting what he was feeling. A voice that always perfectly pronounces every word and syllable; a voice that talks clearly and concisely now had a swell of feeling underneath his words.

'He must have exhausted his facial muscles pulling off whatever expression he was just about to make.' Naruto joked to himself. Out of everyone he has interacted with since he woke up, it was Sai who felt the easiest to regroup with old and familiar habits. That's why Naruto didn't stop the retort from coming out of his mouth, reading to tell the man to shut up;

“Sai-”

And then in his mystifying ways, Sai came at him in a dead sprint, intent clear in his eyes. Naruto jumped back while Sakura once more came between the two, stopping the runner with an outstretched arm.

"Sai..." Sakura grunted. "Will you cool it?" She raised her arm with the weight of Sai on it, lifting him completely off the ground as well. The guy didn't falter in his pursuit as his limbs continued moving as if he was still running. His concentrating eyes were still wide and locked onto the poor man who looked away uneasily.

'Such a sight should be funny, seeing him run in place. But not with that scary look in his eyes.'

"Hey!" At the demand and sharp shake Sai finally stopped and went limp...ish? He flopped his arms over Sakura's, so he was still held up and his feet were still off the ground dangling.

“You were hanging out with him this whole time without telling me, so forgive me if I don't want to listen to you now.” He said while glaring down from the height.

"Yeah, I know. But you don't know the whole situation. Just relax and take things slow instead of running upon the poor guy like you're a serial killer."

Sakura roughly brought him back to the ground and casually leaned next to his ear to whisper;

“Things are different. Watch yourself unless you went hell from multiple people.”

The deadly threat was said so quickly and so smoothly that it was hard for anyone to know anything was said from a distance. Sakura twirled on her feet and spotted Naruto, who with a pinched expression was carefully inching away from the two with his back to the wall.  He froze at being caught. Sakura didn't say anything.

"Hmmm," Sai hummed loudly, leaning back bizarrely and gaining both of their attention, before taking one big, exaggerated sidestep around Sakura and prancing over to Naruto. The woman yelled, Naruto tried to burrow his neck into his body, and Sai stretched out both of his arms only to pull Naruto into a quick but deep hug.

“Ah?” Naruto questioned.

The embrace only lasted a few seconds before Sai let up and turned back to Sakura, to whom he stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry.

"I'm happy to see you awake. Tell me, will you entertain me for a bit as well, Naruto-san?" Sai asked him while looking down at him, a seemingly genuine smile on his lips.

“Uh...”

'I feel like I'm going to be sick.'

His eyes and head were swirling from the whiplash of Sai. The man's mood swings rabidly. Practically shaking in spot Naruto tripped over nothing, searching for what to say. Sai tilted his head just as Naruto caught the sight of a red leaf falling directly into Sai's opening mouth, inhaling it in the process. Sakura came up to him to harshly pat his back with an unimpressed expression while Sai spit and made choking noises, haunched over in distress. 

Naruto shakingly pointed to the shop behind him

"Um... Why don't we stop in? I need to sit down. Maybe you should get a...drink..."

-

It felt like it should have been a monumental moment, to have team Kakashi together once more as they all sat down. Pieces of a puzzle were finally put back together, for at least two of them. The other one never really left. In fact, he stayed with them and grew older with them and saw them change, only for it all to be false and ripped away. Naruto lost the people he thought he knew, and those two nearly lost Naruto in death. 

'I haven't even been out of my room for that long and I already feel tired enough to go home. Maybe I should lay under the blankets in bed and never get back up.' Naruto considered this as he leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling. It felt like his head was filled with liquid and if he tilted it too much the container might spill its contents. Naruto glanced down, only to see Sai a mere inches away from his face.

"...Oi." Naruto looked with a mix of disgust and uncomfortableness.

“I don't want to alarm you, but I think someone threw dye on your hair in the doorway.”

"What?" It took him a second to register what was being said. "Ah, no. It's not dye. It just...does that."

“Your hair changed though.” Sai pushed more. “Just now. Just then.”

“Yeah...I know. I'm fully aware.”

Sai batted his eyes and with stunning quickness darted a look over to Sakura to see her reaction to the current line of questioning.

“Why does it do that then?”

'How am I supposed to answer that?'

He actually didn't know, nor was it that much of a concern for him. It was...something that happened in the back of his mind where he would deal with it when he dealt with it. To him, the chances of the secrets of the world being connected to the color of his hair were exceedingly slim.

With a great sigh, Naruto deflated more in his seat and fully locked eyes with the other man.

"Maybe the question is, why wouldn't it do that?" That was the best answer he could give.

After a bit of a pause...Sai burst out laughing.

"Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha!" It was this weird, almost robotic laughing fit that made Naruto jump. He has never seen Sai laugh before, much less in this manner. In his state of shock, he accidentally launched his hand to drip Sakura's arm, ready to run if need be. It took him a moment to realize what he had done to let go, not spying Sakura's adoring look.  

"Such an odd thing to happen, isn't it? Or maybe it's normal for someone as odd as Naruto. For something like this to happen, you would only read about it in novels! Ah, maybe you're the main character? Is that it, are you a main character of a novel? Haha! Hahahaha!"

Naruto quickly leaned closer to Sakura and whispered under his breath.

“What is this, what is happening here?” He saw pink in the corner of his vision as Sakura leaned her elbows on the table to whisper back.

“Perhaps it is insanity caused by the stress of war?” She answered back critically.

"He's laughing while pronouncing the actual word 'ha'. Very strange. Though, hasn't he always been a little off like this even before the war?" Naruto questioned back in a serious tone.

“Oh that's right, how could I forget.”

"It's rude to talk about me sarcastically when I'm right here." Sai stopped instantaneously to look at them with wide and unmoving eyes. It sent chills down Naruto's spine. He could almost laugh at the insanity of this man. Naruto covered his mouth with his hand to hide his tired and hysteric giggles. His head felt heavy, and the motion of his head slipping down his hand was covered in one smooth move as he pushed his hair back. Glittering locks of blonde and silver sliding back into place over strained and lidded eyes.

'Just what am I doing?' He thought.

"I've been wondering this a while now but, what exactly is that outfit, Sai? Don't you feel constricted not having your tummy exposed?"

Sai was decorated in a dark, midnight blue kimono. On his right arm, the sleeve was missing exposing the white under kimono beneath. Inside Naruto's memory, a grainy picture came forth of someone wearing something similar. Resting his hand on his chin Naruto stared and pondered the image that came up. It was too dark to tell...who would have worn something like that? Something Naruto only ever saw in a photograph? 

"Did you figure it out?" Sai asked, and Naruto caught a fraction of a second when Sai's serious expression turned into a slightly teasing smile as he looked up.

“Do you know who wore this before? That man...was an important person in this village. Was, that is. He is dead now.”

There was a challenging look in Sai's eyes, the one that said if Naruto didn't remember who it was, Sai wouldn't tell. He was probably preparing to hold it over his head and taunt him with the knowledge to his own glee. Naruto took on that challenge as he always did, never one to let Sai act smug for too long. 

'Come on. Remember who was in the photograph. Remember.'

He took in a calming breath and closed his eyes. To his initial shock, he was not able to slip into the calmness with relative ease. What should have been peaceful black was lit up in lights correlating to the colors of his teammates. The constant awareness that Sakura and Sai were so close to him...set him on edge. And not being able to slip into a meditative stance as effortlessly as before also made him frustrated beyond belief. Again, his anger rushed to the surface as his hand on the table shook. Shaking his head, Naruto flattened his palm down before he forced his body to relax. The out-of-body image of the three of them at the table appeared, and ever so carefully darkness came from the corners of the world to cup them. Slowly...slowly, that darkness crept as Naruto's heart rate evened out by the sheer force of will. Envisioning that he was completely alone, telling himself that it was just him helped to erase the feeling of the two beside him. Each intake of breath brought the mist of darkness closer, well every exhale pushed it away like waves. In, out. In, out. In...out...

In.

A small bell rang in his mind, sending ripples in his consciousness as the darkness erased everything, including him. Peace and silence overcame his soul, and he would have loved to enjoy it. Love to cry at the simple stillness of his mind for once.

But cracks formed in his concentration. The memory of others peeking through with his anxiety. He couldn't stay like this for long, at least, not at the moment.

Visions dancing on the surface. Naruto reached out a hand and grabbed it, chasing after the long-hidden memory.

"I got some troubling news. It appeared we got intel of someone that Uchiha Sasuke is going to target next, and unfortunately that someone is a high-ranking person within Konohagakure. He was important before but with recent developments, well...let's just say hunting him now is not something you can recover from." Kakashi stared at the wall of Naruto's tent, shadows danced across his face from the fire outside, making it impossible for him to tell how the older man was truly feeling.

"Who is it?! Do you know where they are at right now?!" Naruto leaned forward on both his hands, wincing after the beating he just got from the Kumo Shinobi. Kakashi's eyes trailed over the tent wall to meet his, and he stared at Naruto for a long time.

"Huh, what is it? Spit it out!"

There was no answer. The plethora of emotions Kakashi was feeling was hidden by the darkness around them, and he had no way of knowing just how damaging that was to his student. How alone his student was feeling now. How after everything, it appeared he was the only one that still wanted to help Sasuke. All his friends and teammates have given up, leaving only Naruto left. He had one hand reaching out to Sasuke and the other reaching out behind him for help. It hurt so much, that both hands remained empty.

Finally, Kakashi moved and slowly handed a picture over. A man was present, wearing a dark kimono. His one eye was bandaged up, and there were twin scars on his chin.

This was the man Sasuke was going after next. Naruto licked his lips.

"This is-"

"Danzo Shimura." Kakashi answered for him. A cold bristling wind howled, and the fire outside the tent went out in an instant.

"Danzo," Naruto said, opening his eyes from the memory. "The one who wore that before was Danzo."

Sai's smile turned more bitter and chilling, while the cup in Sakura's hand cracked within her tightening grip. Static ran through the air.

"Yes," Sai hummed. "That's who it was. To be honest, I'm surprised you knew his name. After all, you two never met directly before. Which could be considered a miracle...or maybe an abnormality. A meeting; between Konoha's brightest leaf and Konoha's darkest branch." Sai picked up his cup of tea and sarcastically toasted the air. Naruto took a scattering second to realize that there were some drinks set out at the table now. Grabbing the one closest to him, Naruto took a sip and reflected.

'Brightest leaf...Is that what he thinks of me?'

"I think you missed an opportunity there, Sai," Sakura interjected.

“Oh?”

"You know, you could have said Konoha's darkest root instead. Wouldn't that make more sense? And it would be a little humorous as well."

Sai took in Sakura's face and in the most deadpan manner asserted;

"Don't make a mockery of comedy, I didn't say that because it was too easy of a joke, at least add some sophisticated nature into it. That type of humor is for the lazy."

“Hah?!” Sakura slammed down her drink before she could stop herself, and as she was wiping up the mess she continued. “It's not a dumb joke! It's clever! Besides Naruto and that guy never met, and roots and leaves never meet either! It has more layers, that's what makes it good!”

Naruto watched the scene while sucking in his teeth. In the end, he decided against debating what was comedy and what wasn't.

"Why are you wearing a dead man's clothes, Sai?" He asked indifferently, breaking up the incoming fistfight.

"First off, I want to say it makes me happy that you are taking an interest in me." Sai started while bringing long deft fingers to his chest. Then he gathered himself and the three of them leaned in closer to the table.

“After Danzo's death at the hands of Uchiha Sasuke, the members of Root were solely left in suspension. And unsurprisingly, Danzo had specific tactics he would employ in his quest to make the perfect Shinobi. The members, as they are now, would not be able to be integrated back into society after all they have been through. At least, that's what I think. They are the ones that stayed in the dark, and never got to see the light." Sai held a hand up to cover Naruto's face in his view, before opening his fingers to allow Naruto's eyes to shine through. Eyes of darkness met suffocating blue. As he continued to speak, Sai absent-mindedly faced Sakura and closed one eye, pretending to squish her head in between his pinching fingers, much to her displeasure.

"Danzo went about his ways as if he was an emperor. The members of Root answered to him and only took orders from him, even above the Hokages. He was the principle, the absolute, the all-seeing and all-knowing Shinobi that would take care of you if you took care of him and followed his every whim. With thinking like this, they would be completely lost in his death. Though that fear was never thought of by any of them. Danzo's 'greatness' carried on so much that many believed that he would never die, not until after his goal was achieved. They had unwavering faith in that. Right after his death, the members of Root were taken in by Ibiki in the T&I force. Rather quickly too, I will add. Almost like the organization was already known about, and someone took advantage of the chaos at the time. Still, nothing could be done for them. They just sat in wherever they were placed. Unmoving, unthinking, unneeding, just like dolls. It didn't help that the cursed seal every Root agent got on their tongues prevented them from speaking about anything Root-related. They were destined to simply lay limp and eventually die without the piece of shit person telling them what to do. I think even the T&I department was running out of hope. I knew this would happen without him, without a backup. So...it came as quite a surprise for everyone involved when I decided to take on a little role. Who knew what I was thinking when I, a former member, dressed in the clothes Danzo always wore." 

Sai paused and swirled a finger around the rim of his cup as he became unmistakably tired. 

"When I stepped into the room, every one of them reacted to my presence. It took a moment, but now they insist upon following me and awaiting my orders. It was decided readily that I'll wear these clothes and watch over the agents of Root until something can actually be done. It may be too late for them, but it also may not be. I would never know for sure until I tried. So here I am."

Naruto swallowed the large lump in his throat and looked away from Sai's glittering eyes, which smiled. Personally, he didn't know much about Root or what Sai had to go through. And although he knew of Danzo and...maybe dealt with him indirectly he didn't know the man like Sai and Root would have.

'To think that those other agents reacted to Sai...it must have been because he was a familiar face. I don't think just anyone wearing that outfit would get the same reaction from those people. Still though, why exactly would they react to Sai? Was he known in the group?' Naruto kept silent for a moment before a question came to mind.

“Why are you doing all of that?”

“Hm?” Sai looked at him with an all too knowing look, as if he knew what Naruto was going to ask anyway.

"I suppose I can understand what you are doing, however...why are you doing it? Root is...a place you got away from. One you escaped from, and now you willingly went back to help it, even though it put you through so much. I don't have to know exactly what happened there to know that you experienced a lot of trauma. At this point, you could-you could be a traveling artist now if you wanted to! You could be doing anything you want with your life without them dictating your every move. And...you don't owe this village or it's Shinobi anything. So why are you going through all that effort and misery of being reminded of that place when you have the option to leave it to someone else?”

'Would I be able to deal with those kids? It would be hell, absolute hell. But...Sai doesn't have to do it himself and suffer from it. I just wouldn't know where to even start to help.'

While Naruto frantically thought this, Sai's knowing smile didn't leave, but a sharp glint did enter his eyes. His expression shifted into something, dark. As if Naruto said something truly insulting.

'Just when did he gather all these different faces?'

Sai continued to stare before answering; "Because it's what a particular someone would do if they were in this situation. And I thought that I wanted to at least try doing things their way."

Naruto got chills at that, and he opened his mouth to ask if Sai was interested in someone romantically when he was cut off by said man again.

"-And, you know, I didn't escape from Root. I was on a mission from them that involved being in a team. During my time with that team, I have begun to change and learn new things, thanks to the people within that team. Which would have made the oh-so-great ruler of Root very upset. Or maybe not? Who knows? After all, Danzo was killed before I was taken back in completely, so all I have to go off of was personal threats and sharp looks in the corner of my eye from the shadows. All in all, I was simply a dog with a long leash, whose owner suddenly ceased...to exist.”

At the ceased-to-exist part, Sai sharply flattened his hand and made an especially harsh slicing motion to enunciate what he was saying. Sakura, who has been silently observing everything realized what Sai was about to do and quickly put a glass bottle of pop in the hand's path, where the neck of the bottle was sliced clean off. Sakura gave a mocking 'thank you' salute while Sai looked at her with thinly veiled irritation at being used just like a bottle opener at a hostess bar. Naruto once again took note of the new items on the table and wondered where exactly they came from.

"Well...what you said is true," Sai continued, turning back with a sharp look in his eyes again. "I don't owe this village anything...in a sense. However, don't say that I experienced profound pain and misfortune there. Don't say that, and don't think it either. As it is far from the truth."

Sai's eyes were absolutely hostile, and because of their deep color and depth Naruto had a hard time knowing just who the hostility was directed at and if it was for him.

'I don't understand why saying that made him so angry. I feel like I'm missing something.'

Out of the corner of his eye, Naruto took note of the silent conversation Sakura and Sai seemed to rapid-fire between each other. A conversation was taking place right in front of him without any words. Naruto narrowed his eyes and was almost pushed away by the hurricane of loathing that came. A bitter taste was on the back of his tongue. It was just a second, just a beat, and the sickening feeling he has been having came back as all the energy left him feeling numb. Covering his mouth with his hand he leaned over the table and swallowed.

'...I don't know why my emotions are acting like this. If I had to guess, perhaps all the stress I have been feeling is catching up to me. Haaa, I should think about this better. I'm here just talking to Sakura and Sai. They may look different but if they wanted to hurt me they could have already. I just need to tell myself this. Just keep repeating that.'

Shaking off Sakura's hesitant humming, Naruto tried to straighten back up.

"Fine, if you don't want me to say it I won't. But you can't stop me from thinking about what I want, Sai." To punctuate, his own words Naruto casually flicked his eyes into Sai's own, boring into them.

"I like that though. That you aren't leaving those guys behind, lost in the world. A lot of people probably wouldn't even give them a chance. They would be seen as burdens or a lost cause, or maybe looked down on for being affiliated with that Danzo guy.” This sentence sent another tingling wave through the group at the connection and similarity between that situation and Naruto's own growing up. The prickly static rang in Naruto's ear.

“Luckily they have you, someone who doesn't know how to feel pity for others. Though be that as it may, Sai-" Naruto picked up a toothpick from the table display and twirled it around his fingers before pointing its needle directly at the other man. "-Helping other people is great but not if it brings about your ruin before anyone can truly be helped. Watch after yourself ya know.”

Sai smiled as he leaned on the palm of his hand, looking absolutely charmed at the moment.

“'It should be done but don't do it. It's a good thing to do but not by you.' It's a bit of a mixed message you are sending me, isn't it?”

The stilted almost hysteric laugh came, pronounced from a pleased person. Even though it sounded wrong to the ear both Sakura and Naruto were able to tell that it was genuine- in its own way. It was the laugh of someone who never had anything to smile or laugh about before.

“I'm just saying to take care of yourself you nut.” Naruto deadpanned out. Recomposing himself Sai looked at them both happily.

“You know what I have thought about? You two were able to get quite interesting titles, as you both are students of the legendary Sannin. You have the apprentice of the Slug Princess and fifth Hokage here. And over here, the mysterious student of the Toad Sage. Perhaps I will also obtain a title of my own now after taking on this role? Since I'm so benevolent.”

“Mysterious student?” Naruto whispered the question.

“A lot of people who heard that the Toad Sage took on an apprentice were genuinely surprised, as he was known to be a lone Shinobi who traveled too often to be tied down with anyone. People began calling you mysterious as you are...mysterious that is. The person who managed to hold the Toad Sage's attention for so long, that kind of thing I believe.” Sakura answered for me and Naruto nodded, mulling this title. Her soft demeanor almost changed completely as she turned to Sai and shot him an unamused look. 

"How can you be called benevolent when you have such a clear distaste for the kids you are looking after Sai?" Sakura fired out, sounding exhausted just asking.

"I don't hate them per se. Yes, they do take every single second of my time and yes, I do have to uniformly check on them and give them orders because they do not know how to live without taking orders. And yes, I am unable to make sudden plans with anyone outside of Root for they do not take snap changes to schedule well and may go back to catatonic states if I don't show up within the minute I said I would. And of course, how could I not love wearing an old robe that smells like a sweaty old man and patheticness? But that is what it is and that is how they are and I do not hate them for that."

"...Right..." Came the unison reply from Sakura and Naruto.

"I hate them. I hate them a lot, every single one of them." Sai continued with a wide eye straight face that highlighted the slight bags under his eyes. His joyous tone turned sour very quickly.

“....Right.” They both said again.

'It's nice that Sai can express himself so much better..' Naruto thought.

'Maybe I should go to a shrine and pray for Sai's skin. Making faces so quickly will give him wrinkles.' Sakura mused.

"Wait, if they take up every second of your time then how are you here?" Naruto asked the innocent question. In response Sai simply smiled at him for a long long moment, before whispering;

“I will suffer eternally later for this fleeting second of joy. But at least it is on my terms.”

'He might have really gone insane. Either from the war...or his new tutelage.'

Naruto gave a sigh so profound that he had to lean back first to get it all out before he slumped onto the table, propped up solely by his arm. Behind his blinking eyes was an attempt to recall if he had this time together with his old team in the Not-World. It felt like both Sai and Sakura were close yet so far away then...Maybe the feeling of never being close enough was because they weren't the real versions of themselves.

'Or maybe even those versions of them recognized how terrible of a person I was and tried to avoid me as much as possible.'

How did the people of that world view him? Is love still love if you only assume it is there? Can love not truly exist unless you have confirmation from the opposite party? Is it true happiness, to deeply believe you are loved even if you are not?

Naruto stared at the table, almost daring it to absorb him in some other space for the time being. Gently, his lips parted, and Naruto whispered to the other two. His voice was calm and raspy. 

"You know, when Team 7 was originally formed, I didn't have a doubt in my mind that we were meant to be teammates. When the three of our names were called, it felt right. Whenever the four of us were together then, it felt like something clicked into place. Almost as if we become a cog that moved something important. I'm not sure how everyone else felt about it though, or even if they felt a sliver of similarity. I, for the whole time, could have been on the outside as the only one who felt like that team should stay together. I craved that feeling of things clicking into place. When they assigned you to the team, Sai, way back before anyone knew your true mission, the real reason I gave you such a hard time was that you didn't connect into place like I've gotten used to. I didn't see you as a replacement for Sasuke, I saw you as an insult to what that well-oiled team could do on our own. I didn't see a need for a three-man cell, because I knew that each individual on team 7 had already gone through a lot, and had become so incredibly strong already before we all met. Each one of us carried something heavy. Sasuke, too, was pretty strong back then. But just because he left didn't mean anything to me. We were a group of four, and even though one was gone there were still three strong people left. That three was still way more than Sasuke's one. We could still get him back. We were still a strong group. We were the same, and people who are alike should stick together. That being said...things and time change. The original team 7 used to be the only one that clicked for me...But slowly I started thinking about how cold it must feel keeping you at bay. I know we still fought like hell and I put you through hell. However, now, when it's the three of us sitting here I can't help but wonder...when exactly did that clicking sound start coming again?"

The two other occupants slowly but surely puffed up in emotions. Their eyes glittered and shone with emotions and held back tears.

"Uwahh, Naruto~" Sakura whined out, wiggling in place to resist the urge to hug the man.

Sai gave a similar sound, but instead of having any self-control went to dive over the table to him. Thankful Sakura put her hand over Sai's face and pushed him back in his seat with extreme ease. 

"Naruto..." Said man looked at Sakura, fully in the eyes this time. Sakura was losing herself in those deep eyes before she found the words she wanted to say. 

"I'm so happy I met you. And being able to be on the same team as you is the greatest thing to happen to me. I have many regrets in my life, even though I'm still young haha. So...sometimes I can't help but think that if I could go back and do things differently I would. I wish I could go back...and protect you more. All of you more. I hope you can rely on me more now, though. Please." Sakura gave a watery smile while her hands tightened around her cup. She saw Naruto's eyes light up in the way they do when something hit deep within him, and he looked away. A blush formed near his temples, and she knew that there were so much painful feelings flowing through him that minute. He was never good with responding to such open caring...just like when Gaara wanted to shake his hand that one time. And Sakura didn't want Naruto to feel pressured to say anything back. She said her peace and meant every word of it, so to help ease the spotlight off of him she turned with a wicked smile to Sai. 

"But geez, Sai. You sure are acting cute considering that your first words to Naruto were insults." Sakura pointed out. Flicking some of her snacks at the man to distract his attention. When he turned to glare at her she did her best to communicate her intentions through her eyes which seemed to work, as Sai folded his hands back over into his personal space. With a wry look, he used his thumb to wipe the food off of his cheek and lick it up. 

"I don't recall insulting anyone on the first meeting," Sai said bluntly. 

"Hah? Are you joking? Of course, you were insulting. By the way, you seriously couldn't think of something else to make fun of? Why did it have to be...that?" Naruto asked in a cagey manner as he leaned forward to scowl at Sai. Sakura smiled out of his view and refilled Naruto's teacup with the bottle that was meant for Lady Tsunade in a rush. She would have to wrap things up soon to make it on time for lunch. 

"What insult?" Sai asked innocently.

"You know! The one with....uh..." Naruto trailed off and looked to Sakura for help, not knowing if he should say it out loud in this establishment. She opened her mouth to say it, however suddenly remember that she was apparently a 'maiden' now she snapped it closed and covered her mouth with her hand, wide eyes looking back.

"Oh, you mean-" Both of them turned to Sai.

"-Calling you dickless?" And promptly rolled their eyes.

"Yeah. That. What a weird insult. I mean, I've been called many different things in my lifetime but that one was just..." Naruto ended his sentence by gesturing wildly at Sai with a noise deep in his throat. Sai looked...confused. Like genuinely confused. When he leaned back in his chair the sun coming in from the wood window frames highlighted the bemusement in those endless eyes. Naruto could smell the scroll paper and ink from where he was and could see the hint of the other Sai slowly merging into the one before him. 

"It wasn't an insult though?" Sai said calmly. 

"Explain yourself, young man." Naruto shot back like a parent to a toddler. 

"Explain? I'm afraid there wasn't much to it. I called you dickless because I thought you didn't have one. When we first met I thought you were a woman." 

...

Naruto, intent to say multiple words at once ended up accidentally making a snorting sound while Sakura to his side looked at him with wide eyes. Quietly, she shot Sai an 'I totally get it' thumbs up, as this was the first time someone said something she only had the nerve to think about before. 

"What brought you to that conclusion?" Naruto continued after taking a long, long drink. "Did someone tell you I was? Did I do something to make you think I was?" 

"Ah, please don't take it harshly. You must understand that all the members of Root are male." Sai smiled while brushing the sleeve of his kimono. 

"That piece of shit I took over wasn't that great with women. Or maybe he was just afraid of them and hence never interacted with one properly in his life? Though that seems obvious just looking at him. Even though Root was a den of sausages, in the outside world women do exist. So eventually some of the members became curious after some encounters and wanted to ask questions. Even one of the council elders is a woman after all. Finally, after too many murmurs in the shadows, That pile of shit called a meeting to discuss it. From what we were told, women are a different breed of humans." From his side, Naruto heard a clicking sound as Sakura became fully immersed in the conversation. Her eyes focused to a point as they begged Sai to spill the details. 

"Fair, but bewitching. Tame but hostile when certain conditions are met. Women are creatures ruled by emotion instead of logic. Their hearts are what dictate their next move. They are naturally lesser than men, however, there is a key event that will change their course. You must not cross paths with a woman whose object of love has been compromised, injured, or killed. Their delicate features will twist into something wicked as they become like wild beasts, unable to be brought back to reason. In this state, weak women gain some sort of strength that can't be easily ignored. It is far easier to avoid a woman in this state than to face them head-on. Shinobi are masters of disguises. If you need to know if someone is a woman or not, simply look for the person who moves wildly, who claims to be fighting for someone in particular, or who will glare at someone with eyes that speak of devotion and love." 

Sai finished his impersonation of Danzo, posing on top of his chair as the other two gave small claps. He cleared his throat from imitating the deep voice and sat back down. Sakura said what everyone was thinking. 

"....That's messed up. Such an old-fashioned, messed-up way of thinking from a messed up man. You hit the nail on the head Sai, he definitely sounds like he never came in contact with a woman before. Besides, what about people who don't go by gender? There is plenty of Shinobi who forgo gender altogether or who feel comfortable presenting as a different gender as needed. I mean, he said Shinobi are masters of disguises. Many of them become fluid in genders after disguising themselves for covert missions so often." 

"It's very doubtful that he would know that much about people." Sai pointed out before turning fully to Naruto. "Ruled by emotion, moved by their hearts, eyes that are lighted by the need to protect those they love. Thinking of it like that, it isn't that far-fetched that I thought you were a woman, no? Before you, I never met anyone that showed so much emotion on their faces. There was so much anger and sadness there, but so much hope and yearning as well..." 

Naruto didn't flinch at the nimble white fingers reaching towards him, gently brushing his bang away from his face. The hand fell to his side. 

"So...that time at the bathhouse-"

"Mn. I didn't realize the difference until we went into a bathhouse together and saw for myself! But even then I'm not convinced. Perhaps you are someone with both-"

Quickly slapping Sai's hand away Naruto puffed out his cheeks in a huff, recalling all the weird things Sai has ever done. Abruptly Sakura's serious voice came. 

"Are you upset about being mistaken for a woman?" 

"Shit. It would be dangerous to give off the wrong facial expression in this situation." 

Naruto sweated, then Sakura asked the question again in a more careful way. 

"Would you be truly insulted at being mistaken as a woman?" 

"Huh? Um...Let me think...haaa, no. Not really I think-mmm." Naruto struggled to figure out how to communicate his thoughts in cohesive words. How did he want to say it? It wasn't like he hated it. And if he was being honest...

"If I'm being honest it's not the first time I was mistaken for a girl. Though, it was way more frequent when I was a child. It became less frequent as I got older. I think...I may be upset, at people still trying to figure out what I am? Uhh...I think that's it! I think, I just got tired of people always deciding what I was without my input. It's weird though, this whole time I thought you were just saying insulting things." 

"Well, it still is insulting. Even if he believed you to be a woman you don't go around referring to them as 'dickless'. 

"Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha!" Sai laughed as if this was the most fun he had in a long time, as if he was truly enjoying himself at that moment. It was so odd, to be able to feel so comfortable with these two. Naruto couldn't help but feel like something was trying to pull him into place, to fit inside a puzzle. And if only for what he has woken up from, he struggled against those pulls. Each act of resistance hurting his heart just a little bit more. 

But Naruto wouldn't settle for any version of his friends but the real ones. He has one foot in the grave and the other thrown out. 

Just a sliver, just a sliver. A tiny bell in the mouth of a bird will still ring even if it is too high for anyone to hear. 

Hearing a commotion Sai and Naruto looked around to find the source of the noise while Sakura serenely smiled. Spotted on the very top part of the columns decorating the four corners of the room, red glossy wood carvings of beautiful design stretched up to the ceiling where a little plank of wood was rattling. After a struggle, the round plank turned inwards with a firm 'clack' and water flowed out and into the etchings. Swirling and sliding, spilling and fitting into any dive and grove they could to paint pictures. One of a mighty and fierce dragon was filled out making it look like it was alive and moving. Naruto was absolutely memorized by it.

'Azure Dragon...'

Breathless Naruto looked to the other columns.

 An Azure Dragon, a Vermillion Bird, a Black Tortoise, and White Tiger. 

'The four Gods.'  Naruto watched on as the flowing water made each God move and dance.  

"The four guardians, huh?" Sai mused. 

"Guardians, you call them?" Naruto asked absent-mindedly, not expecting the question to be picked up. Different people call the same thing by different names. 

"Sakura, Sakura." 

"Yes?" 

"Why does this happen? Is there a timer for the water to come out or does it have another meaning?" Naruto questioned as he pointed to the white tiger. Sakura merely laughed and stood up. 

"It's a clock system. The water comes every hour. It helps Hanagawa since she can't see. Our order is most likely finished so I'll go fetch it, then we can head to my lady." 

Walking back behind a curtain she left Naruto and Sai alone. Naruto watched the columns more before taking in the table they sat at. It was a cube in shape and almost hollow-like, with tight intricate patterns and symbols carved everywhere. They were small enough that a glass wouldn't be knocked over sitting on top of it, but still, somehow the table was able to withstand pressure considering how much of it has been carved out. Letting his fingers glide and follow a path, Naruto became entranced with a whirlpool mark near the center. Round and round and round. Round and round and round. It was hypnotic. Soothing.

Once more the hand of a specter slid close to his own and Naruto stopped, looking up to Sai who put his hand on top of Naruto's, tracing the pattern as well. 

“Whirlpool, huh? It was as if you are drawn to it.” Sai spoke low, leaning in closer than comfort, obviously hinting at something.

“If you want to say something then say it.” Naruto replied while attempting to lean away.

“There are artifacts of the Uzushiogakure clan hidden in the depths of Root that I believe belong to you.”

Naruto, who was tilting his seat back lost his balance as his hand slid under Sai's and he nearly tumbled backward, saved only by Sai catching his wrist and pulling him back in, almost nose to nose with the other man. 

Family 

A large ball formed in his throat. 

“Okay boooys~ Shall we g- Sai what the hell did you do.” Sakura was back, and both Sai and Naruto looked up at her frosty glaring eyes wishing certain death to Sai.

“...H-....Just-....” Naruto struggled to find the right words.

“I'm holding onto them for you, and only you." Sai was able to get out before Sakura picked him up by the kimono in a bruising, one-handed grip. 

Naruto heard them fighting from under a depth. However...this news....

"It's not surprising." With a clatter of his chair, he sharply stood up and quieted them both. 

"I knew, eventually when I knew what really happen, I knew that something must have been left behind. And...because I know how this village can be I also knew that anything left by the Uzumaki or Namikaze line was most likely hidden somewhere from me. It's not surprising ya know. And honestly, I made peace with the knowledge that I would never get to see them. There wasn't a reason for me to. Even if there was, there is every excuse in the book for me not to come in contact with them given. 'It's too dangerous,' 'You don't need the knowledge,' 'You're not emotionally ready to see it, or You're not mature enough yet.'" Naruto walked around the table to stand in front of them both. 

"It's telling that my family artifacts were hidden by Danzo, but that too, is expected." Choking on the 'my family' part Naruto did his best to compose himself. He was not acting in a way that any of them thought he would. Almost as if he didn't care if he ever got his birthright on not. To Naruto though, those artifacts were just another challenge that he couldn't overcome. How would he read about the Uzumaki clan if he couldn't read that well in the first place? 

'Ask someone...'  

'Maybe I should. Now that I would have a different kind of motivation.' Naruto's eyes trailed off before snapping back to his teammates. 

"Thank you for telling me, Sai. We'll have to figure out a good time to exchange them. Come now, Tsunade has been waiting no?" 

With a twirl he walked out the door, silvery blonde hair flying and glittering in the light. He pointed ignored the quick commotion behind him between Sakura and Sai. Sakura's hushed and quiet voice contrasted to her teammate who didn't see the need to whisper at all. A raise in pitch, a thudding sound, and then both of them came out to join Naruto standing at the gate. One of them looking flushed and majorly annoyed while the other was cradling the back of his head while simultaneously pulling his kimono top away from his neck. It took Sai a moment to locate Naruto, as he turned around in place confused and dizzy before Sakura grabbed a hold of him and spun him to face Naruto. 

"You shouldn't do that you know. If you 'knock the stupid' right out of me, nothing will be left." Sai joked to Sakura. He tried to bump his elbow into his side only to have it caught and almost disintegrated in her grip. All that effort and Sai still managed to give an emotionless 'ow'. 

"Our time was far too short, however, I need to get back to those goblins of mine before they do something annoying. I hope to see you soon again, NarutOW!" 

Sai was pulled away from invading Naruto's personal space and finally seemed to give up on his fight. He managed to flap his arm enough for Sakura to let go before giving a cheerful 'see you' and dead sprinting away. If Naruto didn't know any better he would have thought the hounds of hell were on his heel with how quickly he disappeared. 

"Are you ready?" Naruto asked the still steaming Sakura. 

"Huh?" She looked down into Naruto's eyes. The leafy foliage casting shadows, on his face one of his eyes was covered in the shade while the other was open and glittering in the light. Sakura's eyes flickered between the two before she looked down at the ground. 

"I'm sorry about that. About the way Sai was acting and by how I reacted." Her voice was remorseful and all the air seemed to leave her as she slumped forward. 

"....I wish I could be better...." 

Naruto opened his mouth to say something but didn't know what to say to that. He looked around before reaching out and tugging on her arm. 

"Are we going? Together." 

Sakura's defeated expression turned warm and watery. Brushing the unshed tears from her eyes she nodded her head, and the two of them walked off. 

Together. 

Chapter Text

There was a room hidden in the depths under the Hokage tower that was stunning and elegant. Long pastel curtains hung from the high ceiling of the circular space, swaying carefreely with the air from the open door. On more...formal occasions these curtains would be used as a backdrop for the communication with Daimyos or multiple Kage as they appeared as holograms. However the situation wasn't formal or dire for the use of their limited resource, Tsunade thought as she idly watched the curtains sway. So, instead of standing in the middle of the room surrounded by the array on the floor, she was instead standing with arms crossed in front of the heavy and thick monitors off to the side. The door that she all but kicked open was allowed to stay open for this meeting, Shizune was waiting on the other side.

Only two of the monitors were on broadcasting the current Raikage, A. As well as the main head of Yugakure, Yui. Tsunade, who was completely and utterly bored bound her time but shooting snooping glances at the background of the other two adults as they argued.

'A is on the couch, most likely in his office. Every time he slams his fist down the camera readjusts by itself...that must be Mabui with him. Hmm...looks like it will rain in Kumogakure.'

Tsunade turned to Yui's screen, noticing when she did the woman talked faster.

'Stone and wood walls...oh there is a crack in that stone that could be a problem later on. Hmm, it looks like...plastic? Is that plastic hanging up outside-Oh! The steam from all the hot springs there would definitely harm the equipment and monitors. They probably have this room blocked off with a plastic canopy-smart thinking.' Crossing her arms Tsunade nodded her head only to realize too little too late that a question was posed to her at that exact moment and she impromptu gave an answer. The Raikage gave a bellow before more arguing ensured.

“Ah-wait a minute.” She tried to interject but it fell on deaf ears. The two adults were now arguing like children. The dilemma was something that could be solved if anyone present was level-headed enough, but with A's forceful and temperamental ways and the Yukagure's ever-swaying moods, nothing was bound to get done.

Shinobi from Kumogakure wanted to transport a prisoner through the land. A's argument was that there was literally no other land for them to make a detour through, while Yui argued that they could take a boat and pass around the village instead of walking through or even on the outskirts. Yugakure's main source of income was tourist attractions and no one would want to come with potentially dangerous people being escorted through. A didn't want the longer journey by boat. The arguments never ended.

While Yui argued her point her large hoop earrings clanked and jingled. In her annoyance she forcibly pushed back her wild and wavy dark hair, revealing two bright eyes, one purple and the other...blue.

'Leave it to anyone from Yugakure to be a beauty. Typical. Of course someone who lives by hot springs would be good-looking all the time.'

With her patience finally worn Tsunade stepped in.

"Enough of this!"

The shouting match stopped.

"We are all adults here, certainly we can come to an agreement of sorts...or so I thought! Given that neither one of you can agree on something, I will be the tie-breaker!" A cunning and sly smile graced her features.

"To settle this argument we are to have...a gambling competition! The winner of the competition will decide what the loser does! Haha!"

“Ugh! Yer kiddin'!” A shouted into the screen.

"If you two can't make a decision then it is up to me! We will have an all-out battle royal of gambling, the ultimate game! King rules, winner commands the loser! Unless you have a better idea but seeing as how you can't even communicate I can feel the gambling blood flow."

Tsunade was ecstatic and seeing the Raikage's face turn a deep shade of red and a couple of veins pop made it even more pleasurable. Yui, who seemed to be contemplating made a pleased noise and clasped her hands together, on board with the idea. The only one not having it let out a groan long and loud.

"I'm not leavin' my village to go and play some game you want so bad! Do you think I have time for somethin' like that? Why don't we just interchange the way we be going each trip, huh? This time it's through yer damn village...and the next it will be by boat! There. It's settled. We are done now, turn off the camera." A huffed back on the sofa and turned away, looking fully committed to ending the call then and there.

“What!? No! The betting game is better! You just want to trample on through with your big muddy shoes like an elephant and be done with it! The very next time this happens you'll just pretend this conversation never happened and we will be right back here!" Yui challenged the ever moody Raikage as she pointed a finger close to the screen.

"Ah...yeah, he would do that." Tsunade mused as she put a hand on her chin.

"HUH?! Trample? Muddy? ELEPHANT?!" The roar of the Raikage was so loud that both women thought they would be able to hear him without any electronics.

“Oooh I see, you don't want someone impure comin' through yer village of beauty ain't it? Anyone from there thinks they so much better than everyone else, huh?!"

As amusing as the Raikage's temper tantrum and Yui's indignant squawks were, Tsunade didn't want to get on this misery carousal once more. Bringing her hands apart, she clapped them together with a thunderous sound, the force of it startling the sheets around her.

"Right. I don't have all day for this. You two need to come up with a choice on your own, either by a gambling challenge that I propose, or come together and agree on your own conclusion! Whatever it may be, find it and give it to me by the end of the week or I will no longer come as a mediator to these meetings! Yui! A will be escorting the person through while sticking to the outskirts of Yugakure this time around. A! For once can you stop being so rigid?!"

"Rigid? How dare you say that to me! You act like I'm causing trouble when if anything, yer village is the one that causes the most trouble! Now Yugakure is next in line to annoying! Geh!" A's large hand covered the camera and the feed switched off, leaving the two women behind.

“This whole time you two have been calling it Yugakure. That's not the name of my village! That's just my name put in front! Stop calling it that!”

Tsunade swiftly ignored what Yui said.

“I am assuming you will be the bigger adult here and figure something out?”

Yui stopped her ranting and blinked up at the Hokage. Quickly looking around her gaze soften and she became...shy? Coy?

"Mm, don't worry Hokage-sama~" The seductive tone did not faze Tsunade who stared impassively.

“I will deal with it~ You know, I can only imagine how much pressure you are under from running your village and dealing with that brute of a man. If you want, as a thank you gift, you can come here and I will offer a special service for you to relax. How about it-”

“No thank you. Goodbye!”

“Ah-”

Over in Yugakure the black-haired woman who was leaning so far over the desk that one leg was off the ground froze as the server disconnected, her shoe falling off in her shock. Slowly, she began to curl into herself and tremble, before bursting up and running to her assistant with puffy and comical tears streaming down her face.

"Uuu! I was so close, so close so close! I thought those two were together or at least had a relationship in the past and by becoming acquainted with the person strong enough to catch her eye she would notice me in turn! I've been dealing with the bull of that man this long for nothing! Aaah, Tsunade-sama, please notice me!!!"

-

Tsunade stretched her shoulder and, not bothering to even glance at the screen called out; “She's gone now. You can uncover your camera.”

Rustling was heard as well as the crackling of the camera being re-adjusted. A's face swam as the camera moved, constantly unfocused before the soothing voice of Mabui was heard as she took the camera out of the Raikage's monstrous hands. His face came into focus.

“Sheesh, always a pain in yer ass.” He muttered darkly while kicking up his legs on the table.

"It's not like you make it easy for her," Tsunade replied back smoothly. "Honestly, how can you torment someone so much that another Kage needs to get involved?"

"Tsk!" The Raikage spat as Tsunade checked her well-manicured nails.

“Well, I have no reason to stay on longer so this is goodbye for now, try not to get me involved next time unless it's with a solution. Then-”

“Wait a minute.”

Through her long eyelashes, Tsunade looked up. Between the two of them, one could see a thin line of tension form. Those three words had everyone bound, tight and straight. The last time he said something before the last call went...poorly...after all. Tsunade thought about how out of everyone it had to be this man that saw her devastated and begging face. She could still see it; tears blotching her cheeks, eyebrows strung close together, and a wail that could only be described as that of a mother that didn't go before her child. A failing mother.

'I really hate that this guy was the one to see me like that.' Tsunade thought with a huff.

'However, that is to be expected given how much he hounded me about certain things. I'll just keep telling myself that. Thank god he didn't have much of a reaction when that happened but honestly, I wonder what he thought? Seeing the weakened side of me- Was he disgusted? Was he thrown off? Did he understand on some level deep within? I was so inconsolable that I just swore him out and turned off the feed...now with a level head I'm a bit curious about it.'

The man in question had his head turned to the side and shockingly, he was pouting a little!

Mabui could be heard encouraging him from somewhere off-screen only to cause the Raikage to snap at her and yell.

"Tsk! I know ya ain't gotta tell me nothin'!"

A squared up with Tsunade who gave him an amused smile that insulted him. With a quickness from those large arms, he grabbed a drink off-screen and shot it back, slamming the glass down and looking at her. Tsunade eyed the ice and the condensation running down the glass, feeling parched for something strong herself.

“B ain't doin' so well...mentally, uh since the war ya know?” He began with a wave of his hand as he tried to word himself in a...decent way.

"I think he may be worryin' about that buddy of 'is who lives down dere. Is there any updates or information that could be passed along to that child to get 'im to quite mopin' around the place?"

Oh, that tension in the air turned thick. After all, A asking about this is what started the meltdown last time. Him bringing it up so clearly brought the whole day back to Tsunade-

'Ay, before ye go.' A said, stopping her in her tracks.

'What is it?'

'It's been a while, hasn't that child worked up the strength to wake up yet?'

It was asked in such a flippant way yet still degrading. As if A was actually looking down on him, on Naruto, for not waking up out of his coma yet. A had no way to know many details, he had no way to know how hard Tsunade had worked. How many times she sat by his side for weeks on end just for the moments when his condition would suddenly plunge. How she would stand rigidly in the corner of the room, the most of a break she took at the pushing of both Shizune and Sakura and the other medical help that they had managed to bring in in the time of healing from war. A didn't see how Tsunade was kept up at night, thinking about how it all went wrong, rueing the past, and how she didn't do more.

He didn't know about Naruto's condition slipping again, and how Tsunade snapped awake in the middle of the night-all but certain she might see his last breath. No goodbye, no apologies. No thank yous.

No tears or begging for forgiveness as if Naruto was a benevolent spirit and she was praying at the foot of his shrine, too ashamed to walk onto his land.

A once mocked her for her fear of blood, and looked down on her for her past trauma.

And now he was looking down on the person she was trying so hard to save, taunting him after everything they've seen.

'Don't speak about it like it's that simple. As if someone could-'

'Hah?! Of course it's simple, just smack him awake already!'

Tsunade kept her head down, her hands shaking in a fist. Something that A noticed.

'You don't know how difficult this is fer some people. I thought yous was a Sannin. A medical marvel. You dare go around with that title when you can't even wake up one guy. How shameful.'

His tone lowered as he sought to hurt her with his words. He was getting ready for it, for the stress relief that was arguing with someone as strong-willed as her who didn't get intimidated by the words he said. A could spit out words that could shatter someone's heart, and he wasn't ashamed of it. In this world, you need to be strong, not just your muscles though. Your tongue as well. Most people get so angry and insulted that they either try and attack him or (in the more boring way) simply glaring him down and walk away. With Tsunade however, with this Hokage. She meets him in stride. They have said outright awful things to each other, insulting everything from appearance and skill, down to each other's mothers. It was a breath of fresh air for him, and right now he needed it. So A eagerly waited for those flashing eyes to dig through him. He even shrugged off his assistant when she came to his side to try and calm him down.

'You-'

The Hokage's trembling voice forces their attention to her. They were preparing for the words to come.

All of that was washed out of their minds as the Hokage looked up to them with a pure heartbroken expression, tears clouding her face. A tragic and mournful expression of grief. It was an expression that one would never see on a Kage and live.

What came next was a torrent of words and tears as the Hokage reached her breaking point. She yelled and said some choice words and even threw her head back and wailed a sad and long tune, one that a wolf would sing in exchange for never being able to touch the moon, it's one and only love. With her head in the light all could see the dark circles and pain more clearly. It hurt, it hurt to look at. Mabui, who A assumed felt a similar connection as they were both women teared up as well and began sobbing with and for the Hokage. She tried to console and give comfort through the cold screen, though with a slamming fist the call ended. The image of Tsunade's tears and hair flying lingered for a moment on the black screen.

That incident happened a while ago now. Communication between the two continued later with no admission or acknowledgment of what happened. Anytime the two had to talk in person the Hokage's face remained neutral. A, not one for delicate matters, didn't take long to pick a fight once more and to his relief, Tsunade reengaged him and their insults flew.

'Gosh, that feels like forever ago. It's astonishing how the past version of yourself doesn't seem real.' Tsunade thought with a pointed dismissal of her past self. She keenly erased the side of her she didn't want to see.

Having enough of the weighted tension, shiny red lips opened to break the silence.

“There has been a positive development in the condition.” She said.

"W-what!?" Both A and Mabui practically flew to the camera. In her peripheral, she saw Shizune give the sign that their technology wouldn't be able to hold out much longer for the day.

"W-w-what is the meaning of that ya say!" A was stumbling over his words more than himself. His accent was now strong and thick in his shock.

"It means...that that is all I can tell you for right now. I won't give you any more information until a certain person is ready and in good condition for the attention. Anything right now will lead to a serious decline. You understand that, don't you?”

Oh if her yes could kill A would have been charred by the powerful golden glare.

“Now, I can't keep on any longer.” She finished.

"Hokage-sama, if you please. We offer to send some of our own Shinobi over to help upgrade your technology to a newer setting. That way long-distance conversations like this won't be so taxing." Mabui sweetly butts in.

"No! It's too much trouble! The Hidden Leaf Village was on the track to good technology before but after recent developments, we have decided to embrace our roots and keep the secluded way of life.”

The mention of recent developments brought everyone's mind to the Hidden Rain Village. There was a deep and troubled upset has happened there that made all other nations consider their relationship with technology.

“As long as this village can function and keep moving with our current model then we will do just that-keep moving forward! Now, I said goodbye too many times!”

With that, she disconnected without saying anything more. The image of A with his mouth wide open dusted the screen before all went black. Tsunade rubbed the tension in the back of her neck and sighed, looking up to the ceiling in thought. She was tired, but the feeling of something brushing the side of her arm made her look down.

Shizune stood by her side, a gentle smile on her face and a wet towel in her hands.

"You did great work. Would you like to use this to wipe your face?"

Tsunade stared for a moment before gracefully taking the towel.

“Mm, it does get hot in here doesn't it?”

She covered her entire face and wiped, thankful that the makeup she got was smear-proof. Her hair was curling from the humidity and there was much more sweat on her face than she thought. Pulling the towel away she took the moment to breathe heavily, a thousand thoughts behind her eyes.

“Here.”

Without even looking she reached over and took the cold water bottle that Shizune offered, chugging it down fast. She couldn't help the burp that came out before wiping the rest of the water that was trailing down her face.

“Also, my lady-”

“Hm?”

Finally looking at her assistant Tsunade came face to face with a delicious-looking chilled Sake, and Shizune who had the biggest smile on her face.

"I figure after talking with him for so long that something like this could be a nice treat. What do you thin-AH!"

Shizune was interrupted by the Hokage collapsing onto her in a tight hug.

'Shizune...Mabui....do you know just how much these silly Kage rely on you?'

"M-my lady?!?!" Not paying any mind to her stuttering Tsunade pulled away and skillfully slipped the cold bottle out of her shocked hands. There, she smiled right back at Shizune.

“It's nothing! Sorry to worry you. Come, let's grab a glass before I chug this next!”

She was already out the door before she finished her sentence and Shizune trotted along to keep up.

"Mm! Ah, it's almost that time! Sakura should be coming shortly for lunch as well."

“Then it's perfect!”

With a renewed sense of energy, the Hokage slammed open the doors.

-

Sakura kept her eyes on Naruto the entire way to the Hokage tower, unable to hide it as cleanly as she had before. This was the longest they have hung out or been in each other's presence since he woke up and together the two of them were haunted by past trauma. Every time Naruto moved too much to the side or stuttered in his walk she would instantly zero in. The stump of his arm was on the far side of her and for once she was thankful it wasn't summer. If it had been, Naruto may have been wearing far less, exposing his missing arm more. She would not be able to look away from the knotted scar tissue, and the tightly bottled feelings of not being useful enough during the war would crack the glass and come tumbling out.

Maybe it was funny in a way? That both of them couldn't look directly at one another because of their own internal problems.

It was under Sakura's watchful gaze did Naruto seem to give up on an inner fight and yell out, startling her and the birds nearby as he crouched into himself becoming a little ball of misery.

It could have been cute. Seeing him tucked into himself like that. However, all she could see was a flip note of the battlefield behind him yet again. The way he fell all those years ago. She fluttered more than the passing bird's wings as she came to his side, holding onto him tighter than one would in this situation. Sakura wound her fingers in the fabric of his clothes and held on for dear life, defying anything to whisk Naruto away.

Naruto who was busy smushing his face into his knees was shocked out of hiding his pout by Sakura's hold and looked up to her. Her beautiful pink hair was erratic in the breeze, but her eyes were too intense and frantic to look at directly.

“What's wrong?” She questioned breathlessly.

"I...uh no, it's...nothing serious." God, he didn't mean for Sakura to get this concern from him acting childish. Naruto panicked and tried to settle the situation as fast as possible.

“It's just from, uh, finding out new things. I mean with you and your...parents. I never knew much about your relationship with them, and I feel like I'm seeing Sai in a new light as well. How am I trying to say this? It's just-” Naruto leaned back in her hold, focusing on her chin as he spoke. “-How could I have gone so long without knowing at least that much about my friends and their lives? After so many years passed by I'm still finding out new things that most would probably already know. It really speaks...on how terrible of a person I am.”

His tired gaze stared at the ground, the lines under his eyes becoming heavier as the disappointment and loathing came. Sakura's own expression pinched.

"No. No. It's alright, it's...normal to learn new things about your friends. It doesn't make you a bad person." Her voice was shaky, and words of a confession were coming. She could feel it in her throat, the words that she shouldn't say about to come out. There was no stopping it.

Suddenly Naruto sat up straight and his eyes sharpened, quickly flickering over to something in the distance. His head tilted left than right before looking back to her and gently putting his hand on her arm to push off the death grip she had on him.

“Hey. Do you...want me to go the rest of the way alone? It's fine if you do.”

"Eh?!" Sakura asked incredulously.

“It's just, I feel that we both are tired, is all. And it's alright for us to be tired.”

Sakura caught on to Naruto's unspoken words quickly, her eyes lowering in thought and recognition. Gently she tucked Naruto underneath her chin in a loving manner.

“Mm...it is fine...for us to be tired.”

The murmur in her voice and the way she was holding him made Naruto want to cry. He blinked back tears that always sprouted whenever he was touched in a gentle and caring manner and sighed, taking in the naturally sweet and airy scent of his friend. Because he was so close he could feel the muscles in her neck twitch when she finally noticed what he had just moments ago. High up in a tree watching the two of them was a silver-haired scarecrow. They pulled away and Sakura extended a hand to help him up.

“Ah, before anything though...”

“Yes?”

“Do you know who all is inside? You know, up in the office?” Naruto asked while rocking on his feet and stretching out his legs.

"Aaaahh, it should be Lady Tsunade and Shizune-san-oh! Possibly Shikamaru as well!"

Naruto hummed while drumming his fingers on his thigh, the far-off stare returning.

“Say, do you have some paper and something to write with on you? Mind if I borrow some?”

Sakura nodded and put her hands behind her inside the long rectangle medical pouch she carried. Pulling out a flip sketchbook and pencil, she flattened her hand to rest the notebook on so Naruto could write, inadvertently showing off her muscle control at being able to keep her hand still and in place. As Naruto wrote he noticed Sakura's eyes dart back over to where Kakashi was hiding. It was odd that Naruto sensed him, even more so sensing him first given how damn good of a Shinobi Kakashi was.

'Maybe it's from the deep bond all forms of Team 7 have with each other? Sai was able to notice me after all, and given how busy his schedule is now it seems unlikely that he would notice me at all. At this rate, a game of hide and seek between us would never work!"

Naruto finished writing; his words were bold and outright so there was no way to misinterpret: 

       I can't read

Folding it up and stashing it away, he prompts a conversation with Sakura as she put her supplies away.

"I saw a weird-looking crow today. His feathers were all over the place as if he was in a fight." Naruto gave the cryptic sentence, controlling his tone and fluctuation to make it seem like he was actually concerned and intrigued by this 'crow'. Sakura simply lowered her long pink lashes.

An everyday and small movement makes for a great symbol of secret communication.

"Hm? Ah~ there were some naughty-looking kids around, they probably scared the poor thing half to death!" Sakura mused back in a fake mothering tone as she shook her head in disbelief. Because her back was facing where Kakashi sat he had no way to see the mischievous glint in her emerald eyes. The giggles and sly smiles threatened the both of them, but with terrifying restraint, their faces remained common. Not neutral either, as that would give them away. It was as if they were Kabuki actors wearing masks.

After all, it took a lot of skill to terrorize someone like their sensei.

"You should go find those kids and give 'em a talking to," Naruto said as he was handed the bag of goodies for the Hokage.

"Un! I think I'll do that right away."

It took a minute for them to face away from each other but when they did, they both gave a deep sigh and together took the first step away.

Sakura all but vanished, giving off the appearance of hurrying off to scold some children as Naruto walked closer to the view of the Hokage tower, stalling until he heard the harsh rustle of leaves and a muffled yelp of one of the most powerful Shinobi in the village.

"Mhm!" He giggled. Kakashi made them all better Shinobi, but not by his teaching.

They gained their abilities by always trying to outsmart and outstep someone as great as Kakashi just to see him in a compromising situation.

Trotting ahead towards the tower Naruto came to stand in the shadow it cast. From his point of view, it was dizzying. The slow-moving clouds above made it look like the tower was slowly falling over on him. Naruto squinted and closed his eyes as a particularly chilly and howling wind nipped at his nose and hair. In his mind, he imagined what it would be like if the tower did fall directly on him.

The force of it would shatter the ground like glass, opening up and swallowing him whole in the blackness beneath.

With his eyes still closed he sensed the gaze of two people just outside of his radius.

'Tipsy tower of watchful eyes?'

...Tower.

Double-checking the bag and note he had prepared Naruto began his ascension. The spiraling path didn't help his vertigo, and to settle the feeling of sickness he closed his eyes and kept his hand on the railing as a guide. Periodically he would open his eyes and focus on every jutting post of the walkway, each carrying maple leaves decorated lantern in celebration of the harvest.

It was a homey feeling.

The Hokage tower sat in the middle of the academy and Hokage residence, connected by a high strung bridge on each side. As he crossed he couldn't help but wonder just how many times had he crossed this very bridge? How many times did he dream of a long white cloak billowing and sheer lace hair as he confidently walked to the empty Hokage seat, ready to take his spot? Naruto took slow and confident steps across, his head tilting back as he felt the air move all around him.

It almost felt like coming home.

A home that left him heartbroken.

He never got this chance to walk like this in the Not-World. In fact, due to his...family...he ended up late for his own coronation. What a tragedy that he couldn't re-enact the daydream he always longed for.

Naruto stopped at the halfway point on the bridge. Slowly with his hair whipping around his face, he looked up and out to the village. The village that used to be his village.

'Not anymore. In some way, for many years I ultimately achieved my dream, yet I don't think this village will ever know how much I care for it. Now, I'm practically back to zero. I wonder...what it would be like if someone in the village remembers me as the Hokage? I didn't want it for the acknowledgment like I did when I was a child, yet I can't help but wish someone saw...how hard I worked for them, how much I sacrificed for them. It all feels so lonely when I look back now. I wish...that someone else was going through this with me.

"Anyone, someone, here with-"

A rumble in the distance akin to thunder stopped his thoughts in their tracks. Naruto looked up to the sky, not seeing any particular storm clouds, and furrowed his brow. With a dejected sigh, he stood straight and ever so calmly extended his hand out. At the exact moment that his fingers pointed to the village a gust of wind blew from behind, billowing a sea of autumn leaves from the mountain behind him onto the valley below him. For a second he was smothered in a hug of fire colors so dense that nothing else could be seen, only for a second. Naruto turned his hand palm up, posed as if asking for the village's hand in a dance. A callous smile on his face.

'Would it be wise to call it a curse that leads me in this foxtrot with this village? Forever and ever I will dance, unable to tell if the hold on me is killing or loving...Hey wait a minute, that's pretty poetic! I'm getting good at this!'

Hand still out Naruto bent at the knees in a bow to Konoha. He could always hear the tight string of violins picking up in his ears at the thought of the complicated relationship with the village. The whole time it flickered as if on fire between visions, and Naruto bowed to each one.

The Hokage Residence, the Hokage Office, and the academy all exist on a floorplan of spirals. To visitors, it is most confusing indeed, and Naruto had to admit that with him feeling so unwell the curves of the halls were getting to him as well. Thankfully, he was there. The office door came into view as he crossed the curve of the hall.

There was no vision at all with the door, as with someone as strong and irritable as Tsunade the doors just come and go.

He was afraid of seeing himself on the other side of the door as if in a twisted loop.

Naruto readied himself before slamming the door open. It looked as familiar as ever, if not for the lack of new-age technology that Naruto could vaguely feel himself tapping on with his fingers. His vision tunneled, making it hard to see anything besides the desk and the window beyond.

This was the last place he saw of the Not-World before he woke up.

The beginning of the end.

At least the lounge seats underneath the windows looked inviting in case he passed out.

The floor didn't make a sound under his footsteps. Naruto walked on the balls of his feet, flowing into the room like a mist of a faery. Cautiously approaching the main desk Naruto gently lowed the bag of goodies he has been carrying on top, half expecting the desk to act as some type of button to begin something unpleasant. When nothing happened his eyes just about rolled back in pleasure.

'Thank god.'

Naruto ran his fingers over the wood top. A ghostly touch at first before pressing down enough to feel the texture in his fingertips. It was only one of a million. Indistinguishable from all the other desks that have caved under the iron fist of the fifth Hokage. There was a closet hidden somewhere filled to the brim with expendable desks and elsewhere, a dancing woodcarver with a happy stash of money. Just to think of a fallen tree somewhere in the forest being taken in and turned into something new was pleasant and tickled him.

"It's strange, isn't it? To suddenly find yourself a new home from the one that you knew of?" Naruto asked the desk.

Wasn't there a couple of bets with the Hokage desk? One was...what's the longest a desk can last, the contender to the shortest lifespan a desk could have. Who started these bets again? Probably Kakashi, the sly devil. Whispering the idea into someone else's ear so when the time for reckoning came his hands would stay dry.

Naruto traced a pattern on the desktop as he made his way around it. Frost was crawling up from the bottom of the glass, and one of the windows rattled every time the wind so much as breathed on it. A small portable radio whispered sounds as it sat on the pane, its long antenna folded at an acute angle. Leaning back Naruto folded his arm over his torso and closed his eyes.

'Mm, this is nice. The quiet voices on the radio make me feel like I could take a nap to it.'

Naruto contemplated the view, the expanse of buildings and land all the way to the high walls surrounding the village and the mountains further than that.

'Hmm...'

'How hard it is to ignore the voices telling me to just run away. Aaa~ If only I had wings~ Though, if I did have wings-' Naruto met his eyes in the reflection of the window, staring deep into them as if he was a different person.

"Mm, no doubt about it. If I had wings I would definitely aim for the sky and never come back down."

'And that's because I am weak. I am too much of a coward, too easily influenced. I wouldn't be able to ignore the voices telling me to fly, and it's a coward's move to fly away so far that they can't be touched anymore. Running from the bad things, but ignoring the good as well; friends, family, and those you love. Throwing away all of those just because of the few bad is what a fool would do. And I don't know that I would be strong enough to ignore the urges...Eh. Good thing I'm not a bird.'

Naruto shrugged at his reflection. The whole time he was staring himself down he slowly moved forward until he could practically touch the window with his arm still crossed. He darted his gaze, changing the focus to one eye and the other before his gaze trailed down over himself. His neck...his chest...his arms and waist. Following the natural trail, Naruto landed on some weird blob in the reflection. It was at waist level, and he paid no mind to it...until he saw it move.

"Hup!"

Naruto yelped and whipped around so fast that he wouldn't be surprised if a gust of wind picked up. He stood at the ready, just barely catching movement before he fully turned around. In his shock, he went to fling a kunai from his sleeve that was not there.

'Mental note: get lots of kunai.' Naruto thought as he registered what he was seeing. There, on the couch by the corner barely able to keep all his lanky limbs on it was Shikamaru. His arms were behind his head and his knee was propped up as he apparently napped. Reviewing the other man he couldn't shake the feeling of something being off but was unable to tell what it was. He debated if Shikamaru was sitting up in the reflection...but couldn't recall properly. Naruto quickly jumped in the spot, spreading his legs out before skittering around the desk and descending onto the sleeping man.

…

Shikamaru's face wasn't that of peaceful sleeping. His brow was furrowed too much, and there was quite a bit of sweat on his face

that multiplied as Naruto stood over him.

The silence lingered on for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“Hhmng! Snore..”

"Oi," Naruto called out, causing the other man to painfully tense up. "How many snoring people actually say the word 'snore'?”

With speed he normally has hidden Shikamaru quickly flipped to his side, facing away from Naruto.

"I can't...hear anything...just a sleeping man here..." Shikamaru said breathlessly. "Hngh, snore. Hngh-Ack!"

Naruto watched impassively as Shikamaru had a coughing fit from his fake snoring.

“Maybe you should cut back on smoking, smoky.”

To Shikamaru at the moment, his vision was black. Well, given that he shoved his face into the side of the couch that was to be expected. All he could do was listen to Naruto's cues and try to act off of them appropriately...which he was not doing well so far. Nevertheless, at getting a new nickname from Naruto he couldn't help but smile to himself. He missed the weird names the other man gave out.

There was the rustling of clothes by the sound of it and then...paper? Shikamaru's ears twitched when after a moment of silence a warm hand came between him and the couch, a tiny folded-up paper was tucked into his hand.

"Listen, Sleeping Man," Naruto said close to his ear. "You can have this, as long as you promise not to open it until you get home. Only when you settle down next to your shoji board, a cup of tea in your hand, only then you can open and read it. Can you...promise me?"

Naruto's voice sounded brittle at the end, against his will. Shikamaru's eyebrows raised but his eyes remained closed. Carefully, he tied his pinky around Naruto's own, holding them together tightly before letting go. He chose to make more silly snore noises to break the tension.

A content and amused-sounding sigh was his only indicator that everything was all right. Before leaving, Naruto uttered a small 'sorry to be a bother.'

"You're not a bother," Shikamaru replied quickly so Naruto had to hear it before he shut the door. He wouldn't have let him leave without hearing that part.

-

Shutting the door quietly behind him Naruto envisioned Shikamaru stretching out his long limbs now that he wasn't cowering into the couch. He felt incredibly nervous to hand over that confession of his but at the same time, he felt absolutely electric at taking a step to help himself. Naruto kept his eyes on his hand, still shaking as he walked aimlessly through the building. It wasn't until a booming and smiling voice called him in the distance that he looked up.

Coming this way was Tsunade, a wide smile on her face and arms open wide as she approached Naruto in long strides. Her huge breast swayed dangerously before Naruto was swallowed up by them, the Hokage hugging him way too tight.

“Oyo brat! Did ya come to see me? Hahaha!”

Naruto struggled against the hold, taking a deep breath of much need air before being crushed once again.

"My lady please be careful. He does need to breathe." Shizune calmly reminded.

"Mm?" Tsunade pulled Naruto away, his hair was sweaty and his face flush.

“I saw a haggard granny...waving to me on a boat...” Naruto said after regaining air.

“Oh please! You wouldn't die from my hugs!”

“Yeah that's right, the granny I saw was you!”

Shizune watched the two of them grapple with each other, enjoying how Naruto's presence was akin to recharging a battery.

“Did you need anything Naruto-kun? Did you come all this way yourself?”

At her questioning, the both of them settled down. After he explained hanging out with Sakura and getting the Hokage lunch, Tsunade beamed with pride.

“Yosh! That's just what I need. Come on brat, let's have lunch together!”

She was like a tornado. One second he was leaving the Hokage office and the next he was being dragged onto one of the roofs of the building, a bustling and impatient woman firmly planting him down while spreading out a picnic in record time. At least the spot she picked did not face the village. Where they were their view was taken up mostly by trees, branches lightly tapping the roof with every blow of wind.

"Here we go!" Tsunade said to herself as she opened up the food and split it with him. The breaking in half of the Yakiimo, or steamed sweet potato caused a delicious vapor to permeate the chilled air. Handing him one of the halves, Naruto gratefully took it. If he wasn't sure it was autumn before he was sure of it now with this seasonal item. The Hokage seemed content to simply sit next to him and eat, and in all honestly, Naruto didn't hold himself back from chowing down.

"This is more filling than the other snacks at the shop. I didn't even know I was this hungry until I took a bite!" Naruto said in between mouthfuls.

"Did you go to the shop on your own or did you wind up there?"

"Un! We met Sai on the way there, Sakura invited me to go with her. The three of us went into the shop Sakura was buying your lunch from to...catch up." Naruto tried to explain as well as he could when only half his mind was on the subject. Watching the tree while chewing, he thought about the other information he gained.

'I'm curious about her reaction.'

The reaction he got could be very telling. Naruto used his thumb to push the leftover potato stuck on his face into his mouth. His eyes narrowed as he took in the Hokage sitting next to him. As nonchalantly as possible, he opened his mouth; 

"By the way, Sai told me of something he found wherever the Roots location is in..." He paused to make sure he had her full attention. "He said that he found a chest of Uzumaki artifacts or something like that."

He said it like he wasn't even paying attention to what Sai told him, however, the mere mention of it had Tsunade snapping her head to him. Slowly, the content smile fell as realization dawned on her and something clicked into place. Then, her expression turned absolutely hostile. 

"That piss of shit! If he wasn't dead I'd kill him again!"

It took a minute for her to regain her composure, muttering 'of course, I should have known' repeated under her breath and looking to the sky as if saying sorry to someone. When she did cool down she looked at him with mournful eyes.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Huh? What are you apolog-"

"I'm so sorry that so much has been taken from you."

"..." Naruto opened his mouth wide, stared, looked away, and closed it. She really caught him off guard with that. 

"Uh...um, I think it can't really be called taken if I never knew for sure it was there in the first place. I mean...I wasn't sure anything was left behind after I found out my heritage, but even then there was a small part that just kinda knew if there was, something like this would have happened. It just seems logical that someone would take it you know?"

Naruto trailed off, fighting his gaze into the tree branch in order to ignore the pressing stare from the woman watching him. 

At the sound of a cork being popped, however, Naruto chanced a peek to see the Hokage pouring two glasses of alcohol. She held one out for him that he hesitatingly took. The liquid was a faint shade of red and still swirled from the pour.

“Here.”

Tsunade brought her cup over and clinked it against his, a solemn toast, before slamming hers back, letting out a frustrating groan.

'...I'm not one for alcohol but...I suppose I'll give this a try, given the situation.' Naruto thought before tilting his head back.

It was sweet. Very sweet. That was his first impression. Then there came a burning sensation in his throat that he swore he could feel travel down into his chest and stomach.

“Ugh!”

"What kind of face is that?! Haha, is it that bad kid?"

"No, it just burns!" Naruto's voice came out in a croak.

“Here, this can help wash it down.”

Naruto took the offered cup and took a sniff, noting the mango smell. He quickly shot it back only to make another loudly disgusted noise.

“This burns too!”

“Oops! My bad kiddo, that was mango liquor-”

“Are you trying to kill me?!”

Tsunade laughed as her surrogate family shook her shoulder in anger. If his face was flushed from the first sip it was positively glowing now. She grabbed a bottle of green tea, pointedly double-checking it before handing it over. She was still laughing the whole time, even when Naruto finally settled down after washing his throat out. With the tea in hand, he gave her a deathly stare, the displeasure prominent on his face. 

“Hehe, I'm sorry kid. I didn't think you would be that sensitive to it. You act as if you've never drank before?”

"I haven't." Came the bitter croak. This time she tried to stifle her laughter.

“Oh? Come on now you don't need to hide it from me if you have, I'm not one to judge! You traveled with Jiraiya after all.”

“No. I never drank. Even with the pervy sage.”

“...Eh? Really?”

“Really.”

“HUH?!”

"Don't you think your reactions are too over the top?" Naruto shot her a glare before seemingly deciding that pouting was too much effort. His face relaxed more as he leaned back on his arm.

“I've been offered a lot...and there was a couple of times in the past where it didn't seem so bad. I just can't stand the smell of it. Even when people tell me 'oh there is so little you can't even taste it', I somehow can.”

"Oh, that sensitive to it are you?" Tsunade question. "Now that I think about it, Kushina wasn't a fan of drinking either."

At the mention of his mother's name, Naruto perked up more, eyes wide and imploring.

"Hehe, yeah as far as I can remember I've never seen her drink. She would always make a disgusted face and saw it was too bitter no matter what was in it. I swear if you put a drop of Sake into a bottle of sugar she would still say that! I never knew if there was a true reason for it or if it really was just a preference...though, I guess you might find out soon enough after you get those artifacts, yeah? Kiddo, It makes me upset to think about all you've been through and denied when you're still so young. But I guess that's my habit, only thinking of the negative. It's a great thing to find this out and even better that you'll be able to learn more, and I know you will be learning a lot! Kushina was always writing something down, journaling whenever she could. It look like a sacred thing whenever she did it. When they died...nothing could be found of hers," Tsunade took a sharp breath, the memories coming back to her. Naruto could do nothing but stare at her throat as she drank some more.

"There was absolutely nothing. It was almost like...she was never there. However, I knew that was impossible, and I remembered her writing and knew that had to turn up. When it didn't I...well...I figured someone must have taken it. I don't want to lie to you kid, but I thought you were already given something. It would be insane to not think so! I know a lot of clans and families do that when you reach a certain age thing but I also knew Kushina well enough that she didn't have the patience for those sorts of traditions. Look at me I only had a couple of drinks and I'm rambling, what I'm trying to say is; I hope you get all that belongs to you."

Naruto's chest felt heavy and painful, like it always did when the topic of his family or jinchuuriki status came up. This bitter and empty feeling...along with the profound longing. He opened his mouth, more questions just about spilling out. But before they could that unbearable twist in his chest made him wince and stop. 

It was all too much. 

"I know I brought it up, but I don't want to talk about this anymore." He said. An inner conflict well underway.

'You do want to though, no one ever speaks of it.'

'It's too much right now.'

'I want to learn more.'

'I don't want more details to paint a picture of what I never got to experience.'

'How much of your parents are you like?'

'I hate when people easily talk about these things when I could never-'

Naruto drank some tea and let his thoughts run wild, not bothering to actually listen as if he was some third party to the privy of his own mind. Tsunade didn't say anything to his request, and he wasn't looking over at her. However, she put a firm and heavy hand on his leg, and he instinctively knew she was giving an encouraging smile. It made him feel better about asking to stop, and less like a loser for having to back away from the conversation he started. 

Another lasp of silence where he was unsure if the other party was uncomfortable or content. 

There was a billowing and moving type of smoke over in the distance. Spotting it, Naruto tilted his head over to it.

"What is that? Over there."

"Hm? Aaaa, that's the new train Konohagakure has installed."

"A train?" Naruto scrunched up his nose. Konoha was one of the biggest villages there was, and as such, they had a couple of trains to run from one end of the village to another. The trains that ran inside the village were kept in immaculate condition, as the civilians fought and protested for transportation for themselves with viciousness. Considering that, another train didn't make much sense.

"The trains we have are well kept for, why is there another one? And why does it have smoke like that? Wouldn't that cause too many complaints from Shinobi who jump over it?" Naruto casually pointed towards the smoke, now staying in one position.

"You make good points, though this train is unique in the fact that it travels outside the village. I know what you might say, but it just became necessary and convenient after so many years. See there, look! The smoke stops there, that's because in order to ensure the safety of the cargo as well as making sure no one unpleasant is hiding anywhere on the train we have a security system in place. The wall opens up, just enough for the train to fit through. Before that happens though everything is paused so Shinobi can check if everything is a-okay. Members like the Inuzuka clan are especially helpful here as their sense of smell makes the process quicker and more efficient, though we aren't looking for quickness. That train has been fondly named Kodama! It's a lot slower than any other train you may have seen, but it works well and steady!"

"Kodama? You named it echo?!" Naruto questioned.

"Mhm! That's because when the train is returning home it will let out a low sound that in the right spot, will cause an echo to reach the village! It's not really a sound, more like a punch of air that travels to the attendants to let them know it's near."

"Wooow. That's actually pretty amazing huh?" Naruto leaned back on his arm, his mind stuck on the name Inuzuka and transportation. 

'I wonder what the train looks like? I'm curious about it now. If I go there, would I run into Kiba or someone else I know?' 

"You know...I wonder if I should be reaching out to my friends by now. I mean I've only seen Sakura, Sai, and Shikamaru so far."

Tsunade's face drained of humor as she looked at him with a tight lip expression.

"Uh..yeah...maybe we should still take it slow for now." She said while putting a hand on his shoulder. Naruto shrugged it off.

"What do you mean? I'm awake now, do they even know that?"

"No, but-"

"No?! What do you mean no?"

"You're not exactly in the right condition to be meeting people brat. Or are you just going to forget about the incident when you first awoke?"

Images of sparks popping and his nerves sizzling came back.

"...So what? Am I just not allowed to see them, or is it bad if I even leave that room? Hey, what about that room anyways!? Shouldn't I go back to my apartment by now??"

Tsunade got real quiet, even when Naruto stood up to yell at her. She put a hand out to him but didn't make contact, her voice soft and light;

"Kiddo...I'm sorry but...your apartment isn't there anymore."

Naruto froze, his brain not clicking right.

"...What?"

"I know it is devastating to hear. And I know I should have said it sooner-"

"Sooner?" Naruto choked out. "What the hell happened to it? To my home?!"

Tsunade's breath was shaky, and her eyes were imploring Naruto while also fighting something herself. Her mouth opened and closed, and Naruto was struck with the collective realization that the people around him all seemed to have a lot to say that they keep down. Naruto took a step back, his face slowly closing off.

"Now, please don't get overwhelmed-"

"Just how much are you keeping from me..." Naruto's voice came out in a hoarse whisper. It wasn't much of a question, more like a pointed remark. Bringing attention to something unspoken. He looked at her like a stranger, and that deep deep longing he has since waking stirred up. The want...the need...to not be alone in this world. To have someone who could trust fully by his side.

'Someone, anyone-Just come to my side!-'

The sound of an ear-piercing whistle stopped both of them in their tracts. The whistle got impossibly loud, located by the wall surrounding the village and alerting the Hokage to something serious as she stood with an arm held out in front of Naruto. Her gaze was sharp and piercing at some point on the wall. Naruto, unuse to this noise was entirely vexed and confused. Instinctively his feral side came out as he dropped down to all fours, scratch that, three, and backed up against the window as he frantically looked around. The smell of tar and burnt air permeated his senses, the source from his own body.

Before it could get worse, before he cause an explosion that would fling them both off the roof the Hokage made a decision. Determining that what he was reacting to was the fear of the unknown Tsunade grabbed him in a tight grip and, with a hand under his chin, forced his face in the direction of all the noise.

"Look. This is what is causing the noise. Do you see it?" Tsunade's tone was arresting, absolute, and low. It took a moment for his eyes to focus but with her heavy hand, he saw it. There, standing on top of the village wall with shoulder-length dark hair covering their entire face was a person. A spotlight was lit on them, and many Shinobi were seen jumping toward it. A sharp pin-like silver blur above them, followed by a handful of much slower Shinobi was all the indicator that they had of Kakashi making his way towards it with a team.

Breathing hard, Naruto kept himself trained on whoever was standing on the wall. The figure moved, in an odd way, stumbling to stand upright. Naruto thought they were shaking their head, before catching on that its head was turning in painful-looking clicks. The wind blew from below it, lifting dark strands and it was then that Naruto realized that the hair wasn't covering his face, but their entire head was twister backward in a gruesome show. The tight bend in its neck straighten out of blueish gray skin as it forced itself to face forward. When it sat in the right place the head fall down a notch, challenging anyone to guess if their death was from their neck-snapping or a hanging. Looking up, the creature's face held black empty eyes, and a mouth twisted into a snarl. Chills rushed through Naruto's body as this...creature, seemingly tilted its head in his direction. The sclera of its eyes were all black, yet the sensation of being stared at could not be mistaken. If Naruto was in a different village he would still be able to feel this type of gaze. A jaw opened far more than humanly possible, its breath vapor spilling out before with wicked speed the creature took off in their direction!

Naruto's entire body tensed as his instinct to fight was ignited. At some point, Tsunade released her grip to motion to nearby Shinobi who waited for her command, and in that lasp Naruto took off, jumping from the roof and aiming for the roof two buildings away.

He barely made it on the first roof. Almost slipping off the edge his grip steadied him, and the comfort of that position led him to follow his instinct. Naruto bounded as swiftly as he could on all fours three; becoming much faster and more stable. His vision was filled with this creature flying toward him, teeth bared and one gangly arm reaching out. He was ready for this fight. His nerves were singeing with fighting instinct-

The fifth Hokage grabbed him before he could jump to the next roof just in the nick of time, tucking him under her arm and flying in the other direction. The last thing Naruto saw was Kakashi, appearing only as a silver thread from this distance as he descended on the creature.

Naruto and Tsunade crashed into one of the windows of the Hokage residence, and Naruto was crowded into a wall with a harsh thud. The Hokage slammed both of her hands on either side of Naruto's face as she looked over her shoulder to be sure nothing of a threat was coming this way. From his position, she looked just as feral as he felt, and that looked didn't dissipate as she looked down at him.

"Don't move."

Naruto hasn't seen this intensity in her since the war. And for a moment he did pause.

However...this was new. This creature had his mind rolling, trying to pick it up and see if it piece together with any of his numerous questions. He wanted to go back out there. He wanted to see just what that was and if it had anything to do with his own personal situation.

Naruto didn't realize he was shaking, nor did he realize the air around him was tensing from his corrosive chakra reserves. Tsunade thought that this must be what it feels like to be right next to a star before it collapses into itself.

'But I'm not gonna let that happen!'

"Naruto you need to listen to me! You can't get overwhelmed, if you do it could be deadly to yourself!"

"Let me out, let me out there!" Naruto said while trying to squeeze by. The two of them began grappling, though the Hokage was going easy in order to not hurt the scared man.

"Naruto please-"

"Stop trying to control me! I have to go out there!"

"I need you to stay-"

"What about what I need!?"

"I just want you to STAY WITH ME!"

And just like that, the strongest woman he knew and the leader of his village collapsed to her knees, taking him down with her. Naruto's chest was heaving, and finally finally his attention was focused solely on her. When she looked up, tears were streaming down her face.

"Please...please don't leave me again..." She sobbed. 

All fighting adrenaline halted. The bizarre and never before seen sight before him brought him out of the zone he was in. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears while his legs felt numb. Still, he could do nothing but stare, shocked at what he was seeing.

Naruto did what any child would do when they see their parent cry for the first time...he brought up his head to shakily wipe her tears, a dumbfounded look on his face.

"I.." He didn't know what to say. There were things that he wanted to do, but not at the expense of the people around him. Not like this. Tsunade spoke up.

"Can you promise me this, if nothing else in this world please, I'm begging you, for something I wanted more than anything else in this life...please don't die before I do!" Tsunade cupped his hand on her face and leaned into it, her eyes looking straight at him.

"Uh..." Shit.

"That's a pretty...hefty request there. You refuse to allow yourself to age and are a medical Shinobi...you're basically asking me to be immortal ya know?"

It was impossible for him to not joke in serious situations.

Tsunade cracked a smile, her eyes haunted by all those she has lost.

"Brat you know...you're my only family left," She said as she reached out a hand to his face. The confession chilled him more than seeing that figure on the wall. "All of them, I wasn't able to save. You're all I have in this world. And I know that I should have been there for you, and it's selfish of me to ask but I'm a selfish woman. I don't think I can take it if you were to go before me, I barely was able to make it this time-"

She caught herself off but at that moment Naruto finally had a clue about how his coma affected those around him.

He really...almost didn't make it, huh?

They really almost lost him.

And now, his Baa-chan was in front of him crying her eyes out.

'In this world and the next, I'll do nothing but hurt those I care for.'

"I-I'm..." He stuttered. "I...I'm just very confused about things right now...confused about something that can only be fixed if I see it myself. I didn't mean..."

What was he going to say, that he didn't mean to purposefully try and sacrifice himself for the sake of the world?

But seeing his loved one cry like this was one of the worst possible outcomes. Before he could stop them, gentle tears slipped down his face.

"I just feel like a lot of things are being kept from me as if I was an outsider." He confessed in a hushed voice. Tsunade pulled him into a tight hug and whispered back.

"I know, oh I know it must be so confusing and terrifying to you. Brat please listen, there are things that we aren't saying. But that's only because you are still sensitive to that around you. If you got to overwhelmed by your emotions, I fear I will lose you for sure." Her arms around him tightened, drilling into how powerful this fear was.

Out of her view, the light in Naruto's eyes died as he took in this information. A sense of foreboding was building, only to be shushed away by the wetness forming on his shoulder. At that moment, he hugged her back. He felt her hair on his fingers, and her back underneath his palm. He felt her tears, as well as her loneliness at the thought of losing him. The hitch in her breath was right in his ear, and he cried once more, unable to deal with the pain of knowing he caused her such grief.

'I don't want to hurt anyone.'

Together they cried silently, the only interruption being Shizune, who appeared in her Shinobi outfit at the window looking in. She spot the two blondes huddled on the floor teary-eyed and bowed her head, and they both knew she was keeping watch so they could have their moment.

Naruto noticed the distress on Shizune's face, as well as the tear on her clothes.

"What was that creature?" He quietly asked. 

The Hokage pulled back to face him, sitting back on her knees. They both started wiping their faces, Naruto reaching out to catch a wayward tear of hers causing her to laugh as she did the same. A small little game of who could clean up who the fastest. 

The sentence underneath his question...just what could be said to him? How much was being kept? The Hokage looked down and made the decision that this was something that could be shared if she was careful. 

"That was...a demonic corpse."

"A...corpse? Like Edo Tensei?"

Tsunade shook her head no.

"No these corpses are different. During the war, there was a great disturbance that caused a crack to appear between this world and the next. Evil or demonic auras escaped into our world. That corpse out there, it's able to move after gathering enough resentful energy..." She trailed off. There were more technical terms that would be better explained when they were both relaxed. 

"I don't understand, a crack? Evil auras are..No that doesn't matter. What I  want to know is how this crack formed? just what was the disturbance that caused corpses to reanimate on their own?!" Naruto was incredulous at just what factor or anomaly could cause something like this years after the war. Tsunade had her head down in thought. Gradually she locked eyes with him again, answering his question with just one word. 

"You."

Chapter Text

In the shadow of the room Naruto's eyes seemed to glow unnaturally for a long moment before his face finally softened, the internal hell he was going through that simmered just beneath the surface all but vanished as Naruto deflated and went limp, his head knocking against the wall behind him.

"Uhuuh?" That was the only noise he could make as his eyes unfocused, tired seeping in.

'Thank God. This may be my toughest gamble yet.' Tsunade wiped the sweat on her cheek, her arms steady and shoulders taunt as she fought to best navigate the situation. She eyes his skin, which unknowingly to Naruto had sizzled and hummed ever since they came across each other in the hallway.

'He's really on edge. If not for the moments I've seen these symptoms not happening I'd be much more concerned. For now, it seems stress is the biggest threat, while stressors can be anything.'

Taking a deep breath, the Hokage began to call out to the boy with the familiar nickname.

“Brat-”

“Uuuu~” Naruto looked at her fully, tears streaming down his face. “I-I did this? What did I do? How many people did I hurt? Uuuh~” Naruto's painful sobbing was muffled when Tsunade pounced and pulled him into a tight hug, her hands pushing his back and hand into her as if she could shield him from the world.

“Wait, it's not what you think!”

“It's not?” Naruto's voice waivered and grew in pitch. With her arms around him, Tsunade lifted her sharp gaze and stared at the wall, feeling something...move underneath Naruto's skin. Something bubbling, reacting. She steadied her breathing and pulled back, her face soft once more as she wiped his tears away.

“I'm sorry, I really am brat. I said it like that so you would focus on me.”

Naruto's unblinking and lax eyes shifted over to her in one fluid motion, causing chills to prickle Tsunade's arms.

'Even if he doesn't consider you an enemy, even if he meant you no harm, just having this full gaze look at you completely and honestly is always intense. Why is that again?'

“But...do you think...” Naruto struggled for a moment before looking at her again, pausing for a moment. “You think I may have something to do with it, don't you?”

He asked quietly but absolutely, it lingered as a statement than as a question.

'Ah, that's right. Even as the little brat he was when we first met, his gaze seemed to go right through me. Those eyes...it's as if a hand is reaching through me, wrapping the truth through its fingers and tugging them out one by one.'

"Are you focused on me now?" She didn't answer him immediately. There was a hesitant nod on his end.

"I need you to stay in the present with me, without thinking of anything else. No past, no future, not even the present. Otherwise, I can't tell you anything. Can you promise me that?"

The glow in Naruto's eyes seemed to heighten like a lantern at the mention of the past and future before he lowed his gaze.

“Why? Why is that important?” He asked.

"Do you not notice it yourself? Whatever you have been thinking about lately, it's troubling you enough to cause physical symptoms. You may hurt yourself like this. Whenever you grow quiet I can't help but worry...that you will erupt in one way or another."

Judging from the expression on his face, Naruto in fact didn't notice the physical symptoms that he was producing. Tsunade was struck with the realization that Naruto most of spent more time in his mind than out.

'Just what is worrying him so much?'

Naruto made a decision as she tried to sort out the answer and gently nodded his head once before taking a deep breath and holding it. Then, he let it slowly out and looked up, his eyes clean of the fog as he brought himself to the present. The little ticks he had before came back, as his knee shifted on the harsh wood floor and his finger tapped to the sound of dripping water outside. His eyes shifted to anything that made noise before coming back to her, lingering on anything of interest. Tsunade found herself smiling at this, happy at the sight.

“Good...now it's a bit difficult to explain,” she started, watching him perk up. “Come with me?” Tsunade stood in a fluid motion, holding out her hand. "Why don't we go somewhere more comfy?"

Naruto stared at her hand for a long moment, as he typically did. Once he reached out and clasped her hand she hoisted him up, cupping under his legs and lifting him to her shoulder. The Hokage didn't even huff as Naruto yelped and flailed out, frantically gripping her head with panic.

"You can let me walk, you can let me walk, you can let me walk." Naruto babbled as he eyed the ground. Tsunade was having none of it and began moving, the door frame of the Hokage residence being grand and tall enough that neither of them had to duck.

"Nope, I'm not letting you down. Your legs hurt a lot right now, don't they? It's best to be careful and not over-exert yourself, otherwise, you would have to spend a few days bedridden."

She knew just what to say, as the thought of being stuck indoors and not able to walk around made Naruto puff up.

“Do I even weigh anything to you?” His hand was entangled in warm blond locks, the overhead light reflecting on some strands.

“Not at all, it's like carrying a couple of grapes."

Naruto gave a pitiful whine at the Hokage's humor but didn't fight anymore. To be truthful...this was his first time in the official Hokage residence so he couldn't help but look around. The hallways were...huge. Decorated in red tapestries and gold lining, ornaments along the wall looked to need a dusting. Naruto was silent as he took it all in.

'It looks like it used to be a grand place, but now...the lights are low and the hallway is dim. It feels...empty.'

That's why the disparity between the hall and the room they were about to enter was quite noticeable. Out of the corner of his eye, Naruto spotted the other end of the hall what looked to be a blockade of furniture. Chairs, tables, desks, and beds filled the entire space not letting anyone pass through. It was intimidating in just a glance, and with a creak of the floorboard, Naruto was taken into the new room and gently placed down on a bed.

'This place looks a lot better- wait, is this a bedroom?'

Tsunade has taken Naruto into her personal bedroom; complete with a personal library, a vanity with makeup strewn about, and a collection of alcohol sitting under magnificent windows. The bed was large enough that Naruto could lay sideways and still not touch either end, which he so attempted.

“Hnghhh.”

The Hokage turned around to see Naruto stretched out sideways, his lips pursed in a tight expression.

"Hahaha! What are you doing brat? Getting comfy?" Tsunade snickered. Naruto turned in a quick flip to get back on his knees, looking like a cat ready to pounce. However, their casual bickering that Tsunade was about to enjoy was abruptly stopped. Naruto, upon facing her, smoothed his expression over into an ice wall. The weight of what they were going to talk about put a strain on his shoulders.

Tsunade gingerly sat down in a chair beside the bed. Her eyes were analytical while her movements were slow. Naruto lifted his chin up, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed. It felt like any moment now, the weight of the world would become too heavy, and he may fall into a void in the bed.

"I remember the ending of the war," she began, her eyes lowering. "It felt so hot-"

The pure white winter sky was cold, large whisps of mist traveling as clouds quickly overhead and although they moves, everything that touched the ground seemed still. There was no wind, no sounds besides her harsh panting as Tsunade stood on the mountain peek where she stood alone. She was so sweaty that her hair clung to her temples a neck in curls. With each breath, another puff materialized before her. It felt like a spirit had a firm grasp on her neck, and she shuddered to think whose spirit that may have been.

“I also remember the sound of the first firework exploding in the air, signifying the end of all this fighting.”

"Fireworks?" Naruto questioned in a tentative voice.

"Mm. It's rather cute actually. The Kage's secretaries planned it without our knowing. It was to let everyone know when the end was, as well as build morale for all those fighting. It became a determination to keep going until you see those fireworks."

Before the first one erupted the land around her was still and silent. Not a single sound...as if the world has stopped moving. Then the first one was launched, her gaze following the high whistle and white smoke as it rose higher and higher before color erupted in her world once more. She didn't know what was louder, the ringing in her ear from the deafening silence, or the roar of hundreds of Shinobi cheering and yelling for the end of the war. Screams of joy, exhaustion, triumph, and sorrow.

"Slowly, one by one the other Kage's scattered on the battlefield set loose their own custom fireworks as well. The sound of the cheering Shinobi was similar to the sound of a low-hanging storm over a waterfall. It was a wall of sound, and in the quiet time of early dawn I feel I can still hear it."

Chills set in, flicking off the sweat she had. The fireworks reflected in the small drops. Tsunade felt around and was pleasantly surprised to realize that her firework was still on her. A firework was released relatively close to her, startling her. It may have been a trick on her brain, but this firework seemed greatly faster than the others, shooting up to the sky in a matter of minutes before erupting in colors of tan and blood red, enlighting the Sunagakure symbol in the air. Tsunade pursed her lips as she felt the Kazekage watching her from a distance with an impressive aura. He may be younger and shorter than her but in this situation...

“I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to pull the string. After everything...” Tsunade glanced into his eyes before turning away.

“I didn't know if I had a right to. However, it was for my people. And after all that, they deserved to celebrate.”

With another whistle, the firework flew in the air in a spiral fashion leaving a long string of smoke behind before shattering in the sky the symbol of Konohagakure, raining down green in the shape of scattering leaves. Tsunade found that even after the horror of the war she could still smile at the sound of Konohagakure Shinobi yipping and yodeling like the country bumkins they are. She leaned her head back as large puffs of snow began falling, breathing deeply.

Tsunade smiled to herself at the memory before letting it fall.

“There aren't many instances where I am grateful I didn't get somewhere in time. But...not being present to see your fall...just might be one of them. I wasn't there to see it, I showed up just a fraction too late and I find irony in that. As if the gods above were laughing with wide unmoving eyes.”

“You didn't...see...” Naruto mumbled.

"I didn't see it. But I felt it. Like the world was intaking a breath and not letting go. I...went to find you and that's when I saw the strange sight from afar. People were surrounding you; Sakura, Kakashi, Sasuke...they looked like they were trying to reach you but couldn't. When I got closer I saw...a summoning toad was there. It was writing on the ground with a staff. And you..."

Tsunade stopped on a dime, looking down at the sight. She didn't know why or what was happening, all she could tell was that her Outouto was laying on the ground in great pain, a toad summon seemed to be there, and the familiar burn of a barrier set up put a tang on her tongue. Naruto was separated from the others, the snow falling around all of them except him.

Naruto leaned forward, his hand clenched in the sheets.

"A toad summon?" His voice was hoarse as he asked.

“I believe their name is...Gerotora?”

Naruto's eyes glinted as he struggled to recall which one she was speaking of. A strange toad with a twisted stomach blurred across his mind.

"The first time I met that summon was with Jiraiya. 'A toad of locks and secrets' was how he described him."

She didn't have to think long about it. With a tremendous leap, she flew off the cliff in the direction of the barrier, her fist raised to strike.

'I'm so-'

“Sorry.”

With those words she flung her fist forwards, intending to shatter that barrier to pieces. But just before she could hit it there was a sharp tug in the air before the barrier, the toad, and Naruto were gone from the very spot. Her fist met air, and the gust from the sheer force of her swing hit the ground and blew away the charred dust of the earth and seal leaving behind nothing. There was no trace left behind...as if they were never there.

Naruto's shoulders shook as he listened. Each new piece of information was like a lost chain link connecting to the main chain that waved freely in his mind. He felt like his pounding heart could be heard across the world at this rate. Nevertheless...he made a promise to stay in the present. If he got too caught up he risked Tsunade halting and who knew when he would be getting this much information. Naruto gulped and shoved his shaking hand in between his cross legs.

"I disappeared..." He confessed when it seemed like the Hokage was paused to observe his reaction. At the same time, there was a sharp pain emitted from the back of his head, and the words he asked the toad summon tingled on his lips. He... remembered asking for the toad to take him away. It was a distorted, wavy memory that surfaces more like a hiss than static. 

The chain rattles as another clicks into place

Naruto held his lips together and met that honey-soft gaze. Instantly she read his expression and the silent confession that he asked to be taken away devastated Tsunade. Her brows creased, and at the same time, they both looked away from each other with pain-filled expressions. Tsunade took a deep breath, intending for it to calm her down but hearing how shaky it was all she could do was place a hand over her face to stifle herself. She looked so somber and distressed there as she bit her fist.

The room felt much colder, and Naruto couldn't stop shaking. Chills prickled the back of his neck and head, and none of it was caused by the damp atmosphere of autumn. His very bones were cold as he struggled to stay in the present and not reach further down to observe his memories. 

Then, there was warmth on his shoulders. He didn't notice when Tsunade got up, nevertheless, she slowly took the blankets from the bed and wrapped him up in them until he was a fluffy cocoon of comfort, only his head visible. The Hokage reached for a cord hanging off the bed and clicked it on.

"Wha-" Warmth held him tight. It felt like he was being hugged without the physical touch of a person. It was so warm...

"It's a heated blanket..." Tsunade gave a watery smile and sat back down. Naruto watched her and wiggled in his blanket hut before dramatically kicking his legs out. The heated blanket flew out and grazed her knees before falling to the floor. Undetermined, he continued to try and kick the blanket onto her to share it. Tsunade gave a warm smile, her eyes full of emotion as she grabbed the flailing blanket and tucked it onto her lap. With a content noise, they both settled, sharing the same blanket. Naruto slowly blinked before focusing back on her.

"You...found me then..." He didn't know how to say it properly, and the way it came out was not the right way as her expression dropped again. "How long....how..."

Sakura was the first to make a noise when Naruto vanished before their eyes. Her shoulders slumped and shook, and her breathing was haggard. From a distance it would seem as though she was crying, that is, before Sakura flung her head back, her pink hair flying as she flexed her arms and screamed. Her single scream could have drowned out the cheering of the thousand Shinobi there was on the battlefield. After all that energy burst from her throat, Sakura kept her head held high, a fiery determination in her eyes.

“The war took place in the Land of Frost...did you know they have a rich culture of beliefs and superstitions?”

Naruto shook his head no in surprise.

"These tales and superstitions are so prominent that the people of the Land of Frost still take them seriously. In fact, there is one particular legend that frightens those such people. The land there is home to some of the highest mountain regions there is, where a lot of the folklore takes place. There, there is said to be a terrifying entity that prowls the area, one that looks like a human but is not. They sound like your loved ones but are not. This entity can disguise itself as an animal, as well as take the face of a human. They are said to mimic human voices to lure others into their hiding and slaughter them, using their skin as their new disguise. You see, this entity is said to be able to take the form of whatever it killed...almost like it was walking in its skin. It's said that their appearance without wearing the skin of someone is truly terrifying and otherworldy, however, the only way to see that form would be if you came across one of them in their home. They live in the mountains, inside caves. A sure way to know if this creature is around is if you see a perfect circle on top of a cave."

"A perfect circle? Does that really exist?" His question made Tsunade smile.

“Well...that's where we found you.”

“Huh?” Naruto stiffened at the revelation, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"Such a strange natural occurrence...it could be explained away with something like, how the shapes of the mountains create a sharp whirlwind that over hundred of years cut holes into mountains. Or it could be a specific type of animal that has never been recorded, or a person purposefully making those holes. Or...it could be the truth of the folklore. However it may be caused, those openings hold so much fear behind them that the Shinobi of the Land of Frost did not report the sighting right away." Tsunade leaned on her hand, her eyes narrowing as she thought of those moments.

It was hard to tell how long they searched for, as every second in confusion felt like a year in solitude. If Tsunade hadn't seen the toad summon with her own eyes she would suspect that Naruto was simply spirited away...She couldn't help but wonder if Naruto would be treated better by demons than humans, and that thought punctured her like a sword. 

Sakura had rounded on Sasuke first, cooly asking which way Naruto had gone. She didn't ask if he knew where Naruto went, at this point, it was expected that the two of them would somehow always know whereabout the other was. And so with a grunt, Sasuke's searching eyes focused on something in the distance and he ran off, her student easily keeping pace. Unfortunately, it seemed that the toad and Naruto were moving too quickly from place to place, each time they came to a stop all that signified Naruto had been there were the fragments of the same seal burnt into the ground. As powerful as it was to keep people out, it seemed like it was too heavy to move long distances, so the seal and those inside it had to bounce in smaller increments. Finally, their trail was lost as Sasuke stopped in place, twisting around as he frantically searched only for realization to overcome his face.

A low growl escaped him, puffing in the air before himself.

'They went in a circle to through us off!' He shot a look back in her direction, filled with confusion and wide insanity. Or at least...she thought it was insanity. That hypothesis hesitated when she noticed the exact same look on Sakura's face and, as she breathed deeply into her hands to warm up, she wondered if she on reflection would mirror the same expression at this point.

They had to turn back. They were at a loss and not fully prepared to go deeper into the vast wintery mountains. She had to drag those two back with him, almost physically as she had to remind them both that death was imminent if they continued. When they returned, they passed a huddled group of locals from the land of Frost that were aiding in their search as they knew the terrain better. Just at the edge of her hearing, Tsunade picked up their conversation and stopped in place.

"May I ask, what seems to be bothering you all?" She questioned with a neutral expression. From off the closest mountainside pounced a large snow leopard, a young woman with wintery hair riding on its back. Like silk the leopard circled the locals before standing between the Hokage and them, laying down so the woman on top was closer to speak.

“They say they saw something...something of our legends has been found. They no longer want to help search the mountains...we leave now.” The woman was about to bound off when Sasuke stopped them.

“Tell us about the legend, quickly.” He gave a nasty glare that was met with a long pause before the woman spoke again in her thick accent.

"Suspicious circle was sighted...first war, now this, it is too much of an omen. We must go home and pray. If you want to find it then..." She looked at Sasuke as if she hoped he would be found by whatever they feared, before opening a scroll and copying down a map with large circles printed in bright red.

"There." She pointed to a specific one. Sakura came beside Sasuke before standing in front of him, politely bowing and offering a sincere thank you to the woman.

"...you can come, heal our sick sometimes." It was hard to tell what she meant by that given the lack of emotion in her voice. Before long the locals have left, leaving them with the map.

"That map is what lead us to...your spot," Tsunade said with a small smile. "It was difficult to find, and frustrating when we realized how easy it was to pass over it. The snow made it harder to see...and that strong wind...it would whistle in your ears making it hard to hear anything. In fact, if the wind hadn't died down when it did you probably would not have been found. With it gone, I could actually hear your screams."

The wind was strong and fierce, rocking the mountains with each breath as if they were made of glass. Tsunade felt like she was on a ship as the ground rocked underneath her feet. That's what she told herself to ignore the fact that her legs were the ones that were shaking. Although she was determined, as Naruto taught her to be, the horror of the thought of never finding Naruto became louder in the part of her mind that she shoved it down. She chanted, repeatedly, what she would do once he was found.

'I will take him to a carnival. I will take him to a festival. I'll get him to pick out whatever his heart desires and get it for him. I'll take him to the ocean on a vacation and let him play in the water all he wants. I will-'

The wind was hitting their ears at just the right spot no matter what direction they turned their head, piercing it with a high whistle note. Although there was a group of them trudging through, the low visibility and inability to hear over the whistle made them all feel isolated. As Tsunade chanted in her mind her hands folded on their own accord, the churning in her stomach settling on a slight as she prayed. It has been a long time since she prayed, it was something she didn't do as often after so many deaths and losses she experienced. However...doing it now, when she felt the most lost, made her feel more at ease.

'Please...let me see him...even if it's just for a moment. I know I don't deserve any miracles, but God above I hope you see this as a prayer for him and not for me. Please allow me to find him and help...please don't let this be his end, not after everything.'

Despite their best efforts, it was too difficult to find the location on the map. Tsunade stood near the peak of the mountain, her emotions going numb. As she looked into the distance her head fell silently into her folded hands in a moment of silence. Sakura came beside her, blocking some of the flying snow so Tsunade could pray in peace, and in a moment of intimacy, she also clasped her hands with a painful expression.

Are they to give up now? Should they go back and have the locals show the way? Will they make it in time if they left now? Just how badly injured is he...

"I'll never forget that moment. At a time when I truly felt useless, there was a pause in the sky. It was just a small break in the clouds, the eye of the storm. The winter in the land of frost made it hard to tell the difference between night and day, however at that time, after searching for hours the clouds separated and shone a beautiful sky filled with glittering blue and gold stars. They were so bright, they reflected off the snow and consumed us all in this tranquil moment. In that small crack, the wind lessened and the air became still, and in that second we could hear you. Screaming out all alone we heard you and retraced our steps to where you were...where we passed you without knowing. There was the cave, hidden under an outstretched stone of the mountain, and just like the folklore said, an eerie perfect circle was carved on its top. No snow fell inside the circle, as obviously, the barrier was still intact. We found an opening, and the toad summons guarding it against the outside. Sakura carefully moved some stones around to create a barrier from the snow and wind, and with that, we could hear you clearly. You were...screaming."

Inside was Naruto, withering on his back as he desperately clawed at his skin. His long nails left thin, bloody lines all over, from his skin to the ground below him as he dug in and arched his back. They could feel the first shockwave build up from where they were as his own chakra disintegrated. Naruto let out a long and feral scream, pure fear and hurt so perfectly on his face as the air shook so hard that the cave trembled. Naruto looked so tired, and his body went limp for a second before the pain ate at him again and he tensed and twisted as another build-up started. Blood trickled out of his mouth from where he bit his tongue and the inside of his cheek. It hurt...it hurt so much to see him like that, reaching out for someone when no one was able to get it. It crushed the Hokage's heart to see and looking down, she saw it was doing the same thing to Sasuke.

Naruto lowered his gaze. Just from hearing it, he could feel the lingering sensation of that time all over again. His cheeks felt warm...and that intensified when he heard about Sasuke. He gingerly looked up to the Hokage, and thank god she was able to read his expression and knew what he wanted to ask.

"That boy, even after all the fighting he did...I could tell he was exhausted. He swayed too much, his limbs were slow but his eyes stayed sharp. Focused. Before I had a chance to so much as twitch my fingers a shadowy blur blew past me, and that toad summon was slammed up against the barrier."

“You...” Sasuke growled “Why are you doing this? Are you even a summon of his? If so, how can you just stand by and let this happen!?”

The toad easily looked into Sasuke's eyes.

"You can kill me if you want. With your weapons, with your own hands, or even with your words...you can cut me as much as you please, but I know no sword or hand can reach my soul. No matter what you do, this barrier will not yield. No matter how much the wind howl, the deaf one cannot hear its words. There is only one human I will listen to, and that person is laying in there, inside the barrier. And I will stand by what he asked regardless of your opinion or my own, as someone who earns my respect will also earn my words."

“At the time...well...at that moment in time we didn't know that...you asked for that." Tsunade felt like she couldn't swallow enough air, and try as she might hold a steady composure it was hard to remain whole and sound at the revelation. But it was okay, this was good progress. After all, you plant seeds in the dirt not to admire how it looks in the soil but rather to marvel at how the limbs will look in the sky.

Naruto was still in front of her, his eyes carrying more movement than his body had ever moved in his entire life. Each word from her lips dropped a ripple of shock in the ocean of his eyes before those same waters drown the revelation and remembrance came to the surface.

'This is still a serious case of amnesia. It doesn't seem like Retrograde amnesia at his point...no I don't think his hiccocampus was injured though it isn't ruled out 100 percent. Dissociative amnesia is more likely, probably localized. Although he seems to comprehend and understand what he did during the war the lack of remembrance may stem from the actual acts he committed being more traumatizing than first thought. Perhaps...he didn't want to sacrifice himself in the end...No...knowing him he probably...wanted to live-'

The sound of her nail cracking under her teeth was loud in the silent room.

The tears couldn't be stopped anymore, so as her hand fell limply in her lap she cried openly, unable to stop the overwhelming sorrow.

"Did you...want to sacrifice yourself...or did you feel you had no choice..." Her voice was growing in pitch, and the heartbroken expression on Naruto's face and his answer were enough for a whine to escape her throat. Tsunade turned her hand and bit her fist.

"I can't remember," he said. He can't remember if he wanted it to end like that. He couldn't remember the decision he made and that answer was worse than if he could tell her outright, as not remembering the answer may be the indication that the sacrifice he tried to make was too traumatic.

'He wanted to live...he-' Tsunade kicked herself, giving an extra hard bit to her fist before wiping her tears with her thumb.

'No it could be...maybe he does just not remember. Even then...though. I can't tell if I'm supposed to laugh or cry if my choices are he knew the sacrifice and excepted it or didn't want to do it at all.'

With her eyes closed, she remembered the look on Kakashi's face when they were first presented with these ideas. He stumbled in step, the color draining from his face. Sakura took in such a sharp breath it made a sound as her hair puffed around her face. And that Uchiha boy... looked absolutely wrecked. In fact, it was the first time she ever saw such raw emotion on his face. At that time she wanted to be the stronger person for them, wanted to be the leader they needed but that was impossible when her heart was shattering into a million pieces. The tears she shed now felt exactly the same as that day, accompanied by the feeling of something brushing against her fingers as if the spirit of someone she loved tried to hold it.

Tsunade blinked, her face felt cold and her chest hurt. That coldness on her face moved and she then realized that Naruto's hand was on her face, gingerly brushing away her tears as best as he could with his hand shaking like it was. Because he was leaning closer to reach her, his eyes looked impossibly big, and in them laid sorrow and worry for her of all people.

'I'd much rather the Gods cry for me as they cast me into hell than have to watch the person I love weep for the sins I committed to hurt them.'

"That's...CRAZY!!" She exploded in anger. "He doesn't-we didn't...I refuse this! Let us in! Let me in so I can help him! You want that, don't you?" She asked the toad who looked mournful.

“I would like that...but my loyalty lies with Naruto. I must do what he asked.”

“Even if what he asks will cost his life?!” Kakashi replied with force.

The toad looked down and spoke quietly;

“It is the same as Jiraiya....”

"I'm sorry. I can tell, the pain you feel is the same pain I felt when ero-sannin was taken away. I never wanted someone else to experience that pain and yet I...I did this to you."

Tsunade choked on a gasp, a manic laugh bubbling up.

"We really are connected...to be thinking of him at the same time." She leaned her head down to bump his forehead with hers. Her hands snaked around his waist and pulled him fully onto her lamp, cradling the blanketed man under her chin and feeling the pure feeling she would get as she imagine that this is what holding her own child would have felt like.

“Kid...no matter what you do to me it will never make up for the things I did to you.” She hugged him tighter as he rustled in her grip before relaxing. They were both breathing hard, the type of breathing you did to stave off hysteric sobbing.

She thought of stopping there and simply holding him until her arms fell off. However, if his amnesia is true he must be feeling so lost and unsure in every waking moment. She didn't want that for him.

'I hope one day your life is filled with nothing but peace.'

Naruto's cries grew louder and the barrier trembled as a slot of shockwaves picked up from the inside. They all rushed to the opening out of instinct.

Golden spun hair was in disarray, splayed out on the cold hard ground. Blood trickled out of his mouth as he gasped for air. Blue eyes were glazed over with tears, and his brows were knitted together with confusion and pain.

"Naru-" Sakura attempted to say his name but at that moment another high pitch scream tore from his lips and his back arched again. His skin sizzled and buzzed, something unseen moving just underneath in a horrifying display. His feet pushed at the ground as the most painful sound she ever heard rang out from his lungs.

They all tried to open the barrier up with their limited chakra, but it was all futile. No matter how hard they tried or how much the summon was threatened it didn't work. Tsunade couldn't tear her gaze away, in her sight she saw all her failures and fears. Her lover...her younger brother...and now Naruto. Naruto's voice cracked like a shattering light. His fingertips were bloody, and his body trembled as it threatened to break apart as dark bloody rashes formed cracks all over. There was no escape from his wretched screams, tearing out of his throat and bleaching the ground below him. There was no way to help him. To hold him as he began the stages of this painful and agonizing process.

So close, yet so far, she just wanted to reach him.

The heavy banging of the Uchiha digging at the ground was constant. His hope of finding a way under the barrier. He had dark bags under his eyes and trembled with every motion, barely staying conscious. He gritted his teeth as his eyes took a more desperate look, giving up his tools to use his bare hands to dig and claw at the ground. His nails chipped, blood flowing into the earth.

"Help him," Sasuke muttered. "Help him help him help him!" With a wild shout, he stood up to stand over her, yelling and begging simultaneously. Tsunade rocked back onto her heels. Slowing standing and quietly overtaking the man in height. He had to look up into her face now. 

Whatever he saw on her face was enough for him to grow silent, and he gave a pitiful looking down as he broke in front of her.

Tsunade opened her mouth, wavering.

And then, she sang.

Oh, listen well, beloved child you've grown.

Before you leave your mountain home,

I'll sing a prayer for you.

When you lose your way

When you travel through the night

I will sing for rain

Praying for your light.

Farewell from the rain

Let it shelter you from harm.

May the farewell rain

Protect your heart.

The Naruto here and the one hidden in the cave were one and the same. In her mind's eye, Tsunade saw that Naruto has hidden away and relaxed, slowly quieting down as his cries died down.

His quivering legs tensed along with his whole body before they straightened out and went still. Even his tears slowed down their outpour until only one remained, sliding down to the ground below. That agony-filled expression dissipated, and with a deep sigh and puff, Naruto's face smoothed out like glass as he stilled. His hands, which were flat on the ground, his legs, his back, all of these ceased their moving. The last thing Naruto did before closing his eyes was take one last unfocused look at her.

Just like Naruto in the present was doing to her. He looked up at her with wide eyes, drinking in her song and she wondered if perhaps, he was able to recall the moment just before his coma. His eyes were bright with awe, and Tsunade felt a sweet feeling swell in her chest. She gently grabbed the back of his head and kissed his forehead, the song that Uzumaki Mito sang to her as a child resounding in her soul.

'I will pay for rain for you.' Tsunade vowed as she lingered on the kiss long enough for Naruto to grow uncomfortable and start wiggling around. He leaned away from her and touched the spot she kissed with his hand. He gave her a long questioning look.

"Do you remember? I sang this song to you when you were inside that cave, and you calmed down after it. There was nothing else I could do, nothing that any of us could do with our limited chakra and the power of that barrier. When it seemed like I was going to have to watch you vanish before my eyes, singing that song that was sung to me was the only answer I could find. Naruto," She cupped his face in her hands. "That song was sung to me by Uzumaki Mito when I was a child. It used to be a precious song to me, but at some point, I realized I had forgotten it. I could no longer recall the words or the melody. I'm glad...that I was able to remember it and share it with you. I'm glad it could help you as much as it helped me in the past."

His eyes widen and his mouth opened a couple of times, a thousand questions on his mind.

“It helped me?” He asked timidly.

“Mmm, it did. Maybe my singing voice was just so good!” She couldn't help but joke as she grabbed his sides and squeezed. “Or maybe it was just that bad?”

There it was. Naruto cracked a small smile, laughing at her joke. The weight on his shoulders lifting.

“So...you were able to get in then? To the cave I mean.”

“No, actually. We weren't able to get you out for around a year.”

The pinch expression he wore was similar to the one she wore as she waited outside that cave entrance for all that time. She wondered if it was healthy or not to find and hold on to similarities they might have together...

“You went still after that song, but you were still breathing. You were still alive.”

“He's still breathing.”

That same breath left everyone else.

“That...worked?” Kakashi asked as he fell to his knees. “How did you know-”

"I didn't." She replied, wiping the sweat from her forehead. However, with a steady hand, she reached out to Sasuke, and firmly pushed him to the side, allowing herself full view of the boy within. Passing a look to the Uchiha to express how getting in the way of the medical expert was not what you should do, she peered carefully inside while Sasuke puffed beside her.

'Arms, legs...fingers, toes. All there. Breathing his shallow but steady, the blisters are still forming but not as rapidly.'

She trained on his face and there, she noticed a light tint around his eyes.

'His Sage mode?'

“My Sage mode?” Naruto equally questioned. His thoughts became stormy before something clicked. “My Sage mode!” He exclaimed.

“Hehe, that's the most popular hypothesis! While we weren't allowed close enough to know for sure, that is the likely option on how you were able to survive.”

"What is it, do you see anything?" Sakura asked from her side. The two of them gave full access to look while the men hovered behind.

"His eyes, have the same markings to them as when he enters Sage mode. Though not as prominent."

“Is that...helping him?” Sasuke asked. There was no answer for her to give. There was no answer any of them could give.

A loud thud behind them made them all jump and turn to see Kakashi on the ground, his limbs splayed out and his eyes spinning.

"Oh, ho ho. Don't mind me I'm fine...ugh." And with that, Hatake Kakashi, son of the White Fang and master of exhausting his Chakra passed out...from Chakra exhaustion.

“We ended up creating a base right next to the cave with a medical tent, where Kakashi stayed for a while recovering. That man pushed himself as far as he could go and after seeing you stabilize somewhat all that exhaustion hit at once.”

"A...ah...." Naruto looked to the side with an unimpressed expression at the thought of loopy Kakashi on the ground.

"Aaaah, so that's how it is. Hmmm...Well, I assume you couldn't stay there all the time. With the war over you probably had to go back to the village and help other Shinobi right? So you and anyone else would come intermittently until you could find a way to break or open the barrier, and doing that took around a year...right?"

"Oh? You're getting pretty good at connecting the dots. Maybe you should work in I&T as a detective?" She teased, wrapping her hand around his as he gingerly got out of her lap to sit back on the bed. Outside the window, in her room, she could see the shadow of autumn leaves pass by. Getting up slow enough for Naruto to say any objections she reached for a pipe next to the windowsill and lit it, cracking the window open to take one long inhale and blowing the misty smoke out. Tsunade rubbed her shoulders, sore from all the intense emotions.

Seeing Naruto watching the smoke closely she came back to the bed and offered him the pipe with a mischievous smile. What happened earlier with the alcohol flashed by Naruto's face as he stuck out his tongue with disgust.

“Mmm,” she sat on the edge of the bed. “There were many visitors for you, I would say. Including the Kazekage, Gaara. I can still feel that tower of sand crash into the barrier over and over...those wide...unblinking eyes of his...and that pale skin that cracked as sand poured out. It was truly...something.” She shared a wide eye look with Naruto at that, trying not to rant about how creepy and terrifying that boy was to her.

"It's no surprise that word got out of your condition, and with that some people came by, offering to try and break the seal or at the very least, study it and bring it back to their home village to search for answers. I was able to recreate a fraction of the seal from the burn marks on the ground and the steady seal portions from the cave, and after making copies we handed them out to those looking to help. Of course, this was troublesome as well. That Uchiha boy of course had to have a say about it. He was worried someone with the wrong intentions might try to do something, but really it was just an excuse to never leave your side."

"Huh? Never leave? Really?!" Naruto looked equally apprehensive and flattered/happy at that idea.

“Ah. He acted like a big guard dog.”

It has been three days since the fireworks declared the war to be over, and Naruto's condition seemed to be at a plateau. The frog summons still stood outside the barrier, still as stone and with its eyes closed, perfectly mimicking the boy inside.

'I can't blame Sasuke for not taking his eyes off the brat...he's so still laying there, you can't be sure he's still breathing.'

She peered closer;

'His fingertips and nails are still bloodied and busted: they're not healing. That mark and the placement of his jaw...he may have chipped a tooth as well as have a swollen tongue from biting on it: he definitely bit the inside of his cheek as he is prone to do. His nose is bruised and slightly broken, probably from the headbutt he gave: that would also explain the large bump on his forehead. The way he is not laying on the ground with his full weight might mean there are issues with his back-either bruised or he could have a few broken bones. There has been an episodic amount of swallowing he has been doing, which may put him in stage 2 of sleeping.'

Sasuke rustled next to her, the first sign of movement in a long time. He looked about ready to say something as his mouth opened, the dark lines under his eyes becoming more pronounced as the wind moved his black hair.

"Does he have a chance...at surviving?"

Tsunade paused. If someone else said that she would have been upset, however...

"You're an annoying one, aren't you?" Tsunade calmly pointed out.

"Huh?!"

"What you want to say is; 'should I just sit here and wait for him or the barrier to relax or should I be still trying to get him out' right? Just say that...Honestly, you've known Naruto for so long yet you haven't figured out how to say what you are really feeling yet? Even Sakura can stand up to me at this point and say what she is truly feeling at any moment. I guess you just have a lot more growing up to do before you mature to Naruto's or her level huh?"

That pissed the boy off and the Hokage revelled in it. She thought about reaching over and flicking him in the forehead...but something told her not to.

"You're tired enough to show your expression though...you should probably rest. After all, when the brat wakes up do you know how much of a pain it'll be if you aren't there? I mean, who else will carry all our stuff back home?" Tsunade snickered as the boy beside her resembled an insulted cat, but as quick-witted as he is, he caught on to what she said. Still, he didn't move from his spot.

"My oh my, it got annoying fast. He practically lived at the cave entrance and likewise, he had to be hauled out of the way of anyone visiting. While tedious I supposed I could look the other way...well-you know I won't get too deep into him for right now! You'll be able to find out his information some other time."

"In the beginning, all letters and reports were like a sacred text. However, that quickly changed as more letters seem to come in weekly, each new piece helping with our puzzle in some way or another. Some information was hand delivered, as they contained classified information from old clans that haven't seen the light of day in decades. In fact, in quite a few times the person handing over the information would be someone hidden in a palanquin, decorated in jewels and fine robes surrounded by a strong formation of people carrying them. Other times it would be a lone traveler with dusty and worn clothes. Whichever it was, they all had something of value. Ahh...well certain people were excluded. Like those who sought to sell their information for a high, high price. Thankfully, those who tried this scam grew fearful of the Konohagakure shinobi!"

An image flashes in Naruto's mind, one of a money-hungry merchant cowering under the rageful eyes of Sakura. A smile painted his face at that thought.

"All the letters that came in weren't just about the seal though," Tsunade continued while crossing her legs. "With most Shinobi in their home village, a retelling of the war spread quickly. And your name happened to be the focal point of many conversations. Even for those that didn't know your name, the description was all they had to give for recognition to hit those who do know you. The first well wishes letter came from a little boy in the land of wave."

“Ah!!! Inari!?!?” Naruto shot forward.

"Yup, you got it! Fitting, as his letter was the beginning of a tsunami of letters. So many people were reaching out to express their gratitude to you, Naruto. Whether it be from the war or from your travels with Jiraiya. More and more appeared every day, some of them were even from the same person writing to you multiple times. So much mail came that our pigeon box couldn't contain it all along with the typical mail we get. A new box was specifically made just for the letters for you! Oh, by the way, it might be in your best interest to not visit the old pigeon box. There is a worker there very upset with the person getting all that mail."

Naruto's eyes glittered, the smile on his face growing.

“I got that much mail?”

“Ah.”

"Truly? It's for me?"

"Truly, it's all addressed to you."

Naruto blushed, squinting his eyes shut as he wiggled in the spot with a chirp. Tsunade laughed at how adorable he was.

"Those letters are waiting for you at any time you want. We thought it best not to give them to you upfront lest you get too overwhelmed."

"While we had many people help study the information we got for the seal, something was happening inside the cave that needed our attention. Because Sasuke was always by the entrance he was the only one to notice a shift going on inside. It started with a small statement in a letter about a...plant growing inside the cave. It was off-handed, and after checking it, it read like any other plant. Then...when Sasuke was sleeping at the entrance one night he awoke to a strange sight and immediately called for backup. When I looked into the cave, it was like a completely different world. While the outside was still wintery, with snow falling and ice digging into my knees the inside was... luscious greenery. All around the inside of that cave were vines, entangling themselves around any rock and through any device, they climbed the wall of the cave and even reached the top of the circle. Some of them had blooming flowers...others had fruits growing on them. There were so many vines that it was hard to trace them to an original source. But that source turned out...to be you."

"What are these...something to exterminate?" Sasuke asked while pulling out a kunai, absolutely ready.

"Don't be a rash idiot! Look, they are coming from Naruto, not towards him." Tsunade smacked Sasuke upside the head, something she has been dreaming of for a while and pointed inside. Everyone present save Sakura was surprised.

"Coming...are you sure?"

"My lady is right. You could argue that some...vines....were coming from beneath him but look there, the one to his left. Right where it goes under the sleeve."

It was true, underneath the sleeve it was possible to see that the vine did not stop, but instead continued, phasing right through the skin.

“Hah?! They were coming from me?! From my skin?!?!” Naruto shivered at the thought.

“It was a strange sight to us as well, we actually couldn't believe it. Especially the growth time. Sasuke had been worried something would happen while he slept, so he took to taking 30-minute naps throughout the day instead of actually sleeping. So, in 30 minutes all that foliage grew. I have to say, it was a beautiful sight. You looked peaceful there, surrounded by nature. Directly underneath you, it was as if you were lying in a bed of flowers spun by the moon. It would have been memorizing if the wonderment of where they came from."

Looking up front underneath her lashes she saw movement, the remainder of Naruto's one arm moving inward, across his chest. If she pretended that his arm was still there it was clear as day, that that arm would have been running up and down over the chill bumps of his current arm.

Naruto looked forlorn down at his arm. Turning it over carefully his eyes traced it. Tsunade wondered painfully if they should not have healed his wounds while he was in a coma. Would it have been better for them to leave the stories of what they spoke for him to see? The extraction wounds of the vines have long since been closed up...

Although this feeling of regret grew, she felt that they did the right thing when Naruto gave a breathy sigh as he rubbed his fingers over his palm. His eyes were lighter, and if he had those marks to see then perhaps they would have dimmed. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, the look trailing as she blew out more smoke.

“I'm surprised...that you weren't frightened by that sight. Were the Sage mode, and those vines...connected” His lips were set firm as he sought the answer in her face.

"We don't have a definite answer for that. While some answers possibly will not have a set-in-stone reason, there is a chance to narrow it down closer through numerous medical checks and scans. To do that, though, you would have to allow someone to monitor you for hours a day over every part of your body-"

"Doesn't sound fun," Naruto interjected with a put-off expression.

“No, I suppose it doesn't.” She laughed, as she knew that reaction was coming. “Though it's still something to think about. It may be better to think of it as closure for you, and not for us.”

Naruto tilted his head, chewing on the inside of his cheek before deciding best to think about it later and brush it off for now.

“So what happened next? How...how was I able to get out of the barrier? Did you find the right clue? Or was it through brute force?”

"I bit of both, actually. That type of information we got, whether it be from a clan or not was enough to help us on its own. However, the sheer volume of all the different information is what made the difference. The number of people we had to study the information with was also a blessing! Two teams at once really cut the time in half."

“Two teams? I don't get it?”

"Aaah~ Well we had two pressing matters we needed help for. One-the barrier, and how to extract you from it safely. Two- how to help your body as your chakra slowly left it. We had two teams, two separate groups of people who investigated both those matters. We wanted you out, however, we also wanted you to be safe. And it was your safety that hurried the process." Tsunade's expression become cloudy as she unconsciously looked at Naruto's missing arm.

Tsunade landed in front of the cave, not at all surprised to see Sasuke sitting at the entrance with his back towards her. Without a greeting to him, she went inside the medical tent, pushing the curtain aside and taking in the scent; a mix of travel tea, metallic, letters, and ink. As well as something else...incense? If so, the Kazekage must have visited.

She didn't have to wonder for long as she saw tucked in the corner a mandala cushion and similar blankets folded by. The pattern on both was exclusive to the sand Shinobi. Tsunade grabbed the large folder on the table in the middle and sat on the cushion. Inside the folder were all information and the progress of Naruto's condition.

'Stagnant...while that would be predictive and disheartening that notion is unsettling given that the vines have also seemed to stop growing. Why is that? Is it an omen? Prediction of what to come?' As she read on, a piece of paper fell out, small and torn with little writing.

[Instict or intrusive thoughts, can you trust me?]

"Hah? Who wrote this-" The image of the boy who sat outside the tent every day flashed through her mind. The blonde woman peeked out of the tent, zoning in on Sasuke.

'He has ink on the side of his palm, the words are smudged here. It was him.'

The snow was incredibly loud under her feet as she stepped out and took a seat next to the truly last Uchiha. She sighed heavily as she lowered herself and caught the face he made as he glanced at her.

“What is it? You have a look on your face as if you are saying I sound like an old man?”

“If you knew what I was thinking then why did you ask?” His voice was low and his statement pointed. Tsunade took out her pipe to pack and light it, not so subtly with the sole purpose of blowing the smoke in the kid's face given that she made eye contact with him the entire time.

Sasuke wrinkled his nose and lowered his head more.

'I've seen the top of his head more than I've seen his chin at this point. Always bowing his head like that...he looks like a monk before a eulogy...disgusting.'

She took another puff.

“You know you're causing a lot of problems right now. Why don't you look up and show me that bruise on your face?'

The boy stiffened next to her.

“So, you've heard?”

“Obviously. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone came seeking retribution on you.”

Sasuke's stone face broke away into a painful expression as he looked back into the cave. From what she heard, a Kumogakure Shinobi came to fight. From underneath the fresh snow, she could see the ground covered in burn makers and slices.

“Does this mean I'm going to be taken away from here?”

"No. You should count your blessings boy. It seems like a miracle for you that someone from a completely different village was approaching the same time and witnessed the whole occurrence. Including the part where you refused to engage until the Kumogakure Shinobi began attacking too close to Naruto. That cave coming into the crossfire was when you retaliated and, to put it bluntly, put that person in their place. Though, while that person willfully gave their testimony it didn't settle everything completely. There are still people out there that want to see you punished for your actions. Some are even calling for your immediate arrest. Others calling for worse. You really made a lot of enemies with your actions."

“How am I still here then?”

Tsunade roughly slapped the boy on the back, causing him to grunt in pain before forcing him to look into the cave.

“Obviously, you have him to thank for that.” She said while pointing at Naruto's still body.

"His desire to help you...his feelings for you...they were strong enough to even reach the people around him. Shikamaru, Kakashi, and even the Kazekage have taken a stance, not because of you, but because you are someone Naruto cares deeply about. Those three and more have stood opposite of the other Kage to defend your action to some degree. I don't know how you feel about it but...I came clean to them and to the other Kage about the Uchiha clan. The truth of it...how people in our government manipulate your brother into doing something so heinous."

Her pure color eyes drifted down to the boy next to her, as she took note that the constant cold, hawkish and combative persona he put on for all to see flickered and dimmed on his face. Tsunade was no longer looking at a wanted terrorist, someone who threatened the lives of those he deemed wrong; but instead, before her was a boy whose family was killed, who was left alone to fend for himself, who was also manipulated by someone who promised to give him the power he never had in his life. She didn't see a threatening aura, but a scared child who swung his sword to keep others away, lest he loses one more person he cares about. And that, that very vision she was seeing now was exactly what she was trying to convey to the others. Sasuke wasn't a dangerous criminal who cannot be redeemed. He is simply a victim of a corrupt government. And if the other villages wanted to point fingers and call for his execution then Tsunade had no problem also pointing out the similar characters from each of their own homes.

“You...you would do that?” The breath of Sasuke was quiet under the wind, scratching out of his throat with disbelief.

“You would admit something like that, and announce it to the world? You would be willing to let a shameful secret like that out...for me? For...him.”

The lines under his eyes were pronounced. He looked so tired...so lost. For the first time, she thought about how Sasuke must feel with the only person he truly recognized as his friend in this situation. The guard dog sitting in front of his master's house quickly turned into a peasant man praying in front of a shrine to a deity they personally need.

"I don't follow the thinking of the elders. I believe what happened is more than awful, and is a stain that will never go away from the village. However, I think it is in the spirit of the deceased and those not yet born, to recognize the wrongdoings of our past instead of trying to hide them away. We must accept our past, the deepest and ugliest parts or we may never learn from them...and we may repeat history...In this way, it also helps keep others back from you. I'm going to ask the other Kage to wait until Naruto wakes up to try and persecute you. I may have to claim you were under temporary insanity from the effects of Orochimaru's curse mark as well as being under the tutelage of such a man and how it could sway a person's mind. However, given how strongly Shikamaru is fighting for Naruto's belief I may not have to. In any case, it's not like you actually care about your image to be bothered with what we have to say to buy more time." She took a long inhale from her pipe.

"Naruto dedicated his time to try and save you from the pain he also experienced. I feel it right to also have him be something like your letter of attorney, or legal guardian and speak for you in the faces of all those people. I'll make it a legal process later, I already got Naruto to sign the papers long ago, but it'll basically make it so that you two will be responsible for each other. I have to put in some details as well..."

Scratching the back of her head at the thought of the paperwork she purposely turned away from the emotional reaction her words produced. She didn't need to see him crying after all. However, when he began curling into himself, doubling over in gritting in teeth in pain she reach out a hand to check on him. His breathing was becoming labored as he struggled to keep his eyes focused. Sasuke was squeezing his arm tightly, grunting in pain as she pulled him towards her.

"What's wrong? Does it have to do with that letter you wrote? Hey?!" A sharp pain seemingly jolted through the boy, making him unable to answer. At that moment Kakashi and Sakura arrived, immediately jogging up to them. Sakura's icy gaze passed over Sasuke, confusion the only emotion on her face while Tsunade handed the note over to them. Finally, the pain subsided for Sasuke to speak.

[Instict or intrusive thoughts, can you trust me?]

"I think...ha...I don't have proof of it, but this pain in my arm. It came from nowhere and my instincts...they're telling me it has something to do with Naruto as well. It's a persistent thought, and like I said I have no proof but...please...I think something is wrong with his arm."

Both Kakashi and Sakura were shocked at the word, please. Quickly they jumped back, pulling the Hokage with them to form a gossiping circle.

“What is this? What is this? Eh?”

“Oyo? Am I missing something? Eh, is this the real Sasuke?”

Kakashi and Sakura whispered conspiratorially in the circle, passing obvious glances to the boy still sitting.

“But, maybe this strange boy we never met is on to something? What do you think?”

"I'm not sure if we can trust him, he is obviously mentally unwell if he is using words like, please. Hmm...maybe's worth taking a look. Kaka-sensen, give me a boost!"

Sakura calling Kakashi by the familiar nickname distracted the man enough for her to climb onto his shoulders. The silver-haired Shinobi flailed for a moment as they both rose unsteadily and waddled to the side of the cave.

"My Lady!" Sakura shouted out when she noticed they were still too short to see inside the circle opening without disturbing the cave structure by walking on top of it. Tsunade understood what was being asked and walked behind Kakashi.

"Eh? Eh?! EH??!" Kakashi could only yell as Tsunade pushed her hands in between his legs and lifted up, easily carrying Kakashi and thus Sakura on her shoulders. The poor man's eyes swayed at the situation he was in but were easily ignored by the women.

"Thank you!" Sakura called as the three-person totem poll leaned closer to the circle opening. Sakura very carefully leaned against the roof, careful of any weak points that could cause the ceiling to fall directly onto Naruto. There was a horrified gasp from the woman looking in.

“What is it Sakura?!”

“His fingers...they're turning black! It's almost like...they're rotting!”

"Is it his Chakra in his arm?!" Sasuke was fervent as he asked this, and before anyone could reply to him he jumped to the top of the cave and clawed his way through the deep snow to the opening, and looked down inside. From there he froze in place, a horrified look on his face.

Along Naruto's arm, a blackness covered each of his fingers, swallowing up each digit. Bloody bruises covered the spot where his fingernails were, as dark and pronounced veins crawled all the way up his forearm. The more they stared the more the blackened skin seemed to hide more colors hidden within; blue, green, and red swam in a black void. Perhaps...it was a trick of the light that also made it seem like something was moving beneath his skin.

Tsunade stared ahead in disbelief, taken in the description. A certain sentence was repeating in her mind even though she didn't see the symptoms herself.

"He's going to lose his arm." She whispered against the wind. Everyone tensed, and Sakura lowered her eyes in recognition.

"What? How can you be so sure?" Sasuke fought against her.

"The Charka leaving him is similar to... to frostbite!" She tried to make it easier for them to understand. "The remaining amount of Chakra he has is migrating to the most important organs, just like with frostbite, your body will prioritize the main organs and reroute the blood flow to them. This typically results in the person losing their fingers, hands, or feet as at the moment the body doesn't consider them more important than the heart. Flesh turns black when the tissue is dead and is mummified. It's most likely already too late...for his fingers."

"Uuah!" Sakura screamed in frustration, wanting to punch something but using self-control not to. While she couldn't see Kakashi's face, Sasuke's eyes were wide with terror as he clenched his arm again. It made them feel so useless, and that feeling was stronger than marveling at how Sasuke was able to feel sympathy and pain.

"We monitored your arm and recorded the pace of the dead cells rising. As you can see...it took until the disease reached above your elbow for us to find a promising way to get you out." 

Naruto's hand shakily hovered his stump, not yet ready to touch it fully. No sound came out of his mouth. 

"But it wasn't concrete in the way that we could just do it...we were all prepared, situated outside your cave where one by one, all your friends pleaded with that frog summon to help lift up the barrier. Shikamaru set out all the promising details on the ground for it to look at, and you know, I don't think we would have been able to help you if we didn't take a page out of your book. Instead of fighting against or just ignoring the frog's existence...we tried to plead for its humanity. It was definitely a stubborn one, however slowly we chipped away at its resolve until it hung its head. They were torn between keeping their word to their master vs saving their master's life, and I can sympathize with that pain. After all, it wasn't long ago from that moment that we lost Jiraiya, and even that summon mourned the loss. We did our best to reach its heart, and we prevailed. Without a word the summon pointed to the key information we need. Normally the ritual we needed required us to form a perfect circle around you, which was nearly impossible to do due to the structure of the mountain. However, with precision and carefulness, we were able to cut out parts of the mountain, like the large section covering the hole over top. The Kazekage's sand was very helpful at that moment, as well as the might of the other Kage. Together we formed a tight-knit circle and each of us drew blood and wrote small seals on the ground that interconnected. The ritual also requires the blood of the person inside...and that was when I found out the Danzo collected your blood an extremely long time ago...Sai found it in the Root base and brought it for us to use..." Her face was beyond bitter at that thought.

"We all waited patiently, as the moon above needed to be in a perfect position as well. When the light of the moon shined down on you from the circle opening, it was time, and all of us poured our Chakra into the seals we have written down. Shikamaru was smart enough to think of any difficult possibility that may occur. Not only did we have those first in line to break the seal, but we also had numerous people lined up behind us in case we ran out of Chakra. The barrier that was used was one that takes more Charka than many people have, as it was created by an Uzumaki. So when someone reached near their end, they called back and someone else took their spot. It was imperative to the undoing of the barrier that the amount of chakra flow was not disrupted at all. If it was, we would have had to start over in a counterclockwise direction, and given that we needed a specific moon phase made it all the more perilous. If we made too many mistakes, or even if clouds began to overtake the moon the unsealing would have been pointless and we would have to wait until the next moon phase to try again. That was simply time we didn't have. We all had to inject the same amount and the same constant stream of Chakra, under perfect conditions. Finally, FINALLY, after three long years of waiting and watching, that stupid fucking seal began to crack and break! Those who are capable of fielding finer and malable abilities began filling in the cracks, like Gaara or Chōjūrō , and wiggle around to try and break the barrier further. The sound of that barrier cracking completely, it was the most sublime music to my ears." 

Tsunade smiled, her eyes moist as she thought of the satisfaction of that moment.

Like glass falling to the ground, like tons of pearls spilled onto a marble floor, like  thousands of miniature fireworks exploding all at once. Whatever she could liken it too, she could take her time figuring it out as the beautiful sound of the barrier shattered to the ground with a pulse of sealing chakra. The pieces scattered on the ground, tumbling by her feet before erasing out of existence with a burst as the pure scent of foliage came spilling out from within. They all looked into the cave, even those who passed out from chakra exhaustion weakly lifted their heads as all went quiet. The air from inside the cave was light, scented, breathable. 

With a shaking hand Uchiha Sasuke was the first to move. He extended his hand outwards, as he did time and time again and stopped where he met the barrier time and time again. With hesitation, his skilled, pale fingers moved forwards, pass the bounds he has grown used to. The noise he made was pitiful, between a yelp and a sob. For the first time since Naruto has been sealed away, he collasped to the ground as his strength left him. His hands covered his eyes as he wepted, louding groaning into his hands as Sakura did the same while punching the air. Tsunade was the first to enter. Her even steps becoming erratic as she fell onto the prone figure on the ground. It smelled so strongly of dirt and soil, and the perfume of an unidentified flower. Slowly, she carressed his face, her vision blurring at the fear that she wouldn't feel his heartbeat. Her hand lingered there for longer than someone would have liked, as wayward sand swirled around her wrist. It held her hand in a firm grip before lowering it onto Naruto's face. Tsunade's breath hitched as the faint feel of a pulse and she, to, let out a loud wail of happiness. 

"Oh my god. Oh my god! Oh my god!" She repeated to herself over and over again as she cradled Naruto's face. 

The vines encircling Naruto moved.  

"Should we cut them?" Gaara asked as he entered behind her. His voice tired and strained from giving his chakra. With a gentle hand, he reached out and rubbed a vine between two fingers. "They are...full of life." The Kazekage whispered.

“Hokage-sama?” Kakashi asked in the most timid voice she ever heard from the man. Sakura and Sasuke practically crawled in afterwards, unable to walk as soon as the saw Naruto just like her. 

"No, no let's not cut them at the moment. We have no idea their purpose or origin. We'll carry them back...along with Naruto...he's coming home." She gave a positive nod of her head, hoping to convey the positive that Naruto was still alive without letting her guild and grief take over. Tsunade excused herself out to let Naruto's team have a moment with him, while clearing things up with all the Shinobi that came to help. She thanked them pourfusly and helped those that over extended themselves into the tent nearby. 

Led by Sakura, a group of Shinobi that could still help came in to untangle the vines from the walls of the cave and wind them up for easier carrying. Tsunade didn't see at the moment a handful of them took the berries that fell to the ground and put them in their pockets. With rope, the vines were gently tied closely together.

“His arm...” The Kazekage trailed. “Is it truly unsavable?”

"Yes. There is no mistaking it." The air became solemn at that. Tsunade ran a hand over the blackened arm, feeling nothing but coldness and a brittle sensation. There was no blood, no chakra underneath that skin. Her eyes flickered up to Sasuke. It was already decided pre-hand that the fastest of them to take Naruto home would be Sasuke and Sakura. Kakashi was faster than them both, however, his Chakra would exhaust before they could make it home. Lee and Kiba's companion Arkamaru are quick-footed and the second fastest, but are too clumsy and run the risk of something going wrong. Naruto's two teammates would be the best decision.

Tsunade heard some bickering break out over who should carry Naruto, Sasuke or Sakura. And judging from the icy steel look and indignation on Sakura's part toward the man, it seemed like the conclusion came that Sasuke would lead. He came over and gingerly put his hands under Naruto's back. His black eyes were glossy as he adjusted Naruto in his arms, looking at him with a range of emotions like sorrow and regret. Pursing his lips and furrowing his brow, Sasuke looked at them all and waited for them to give the cue. Finally, Naruto was lifted up along with his vines.

"HA-" Tsunade's vision twisted as she looked down to the spot Naruto was. She thought, for a moment that she wanted to collect some of the moon-spun flowers that Naruto laid on.

However, the sight she saw chilled her to the bone. For a minute she felt like the quiet laughing of the Gods at her was incredibly loud, and her helping hand on Naruto twitched and tighten as a vision of hell itself appeared to try and take him away from her.

Below where Naruto lay shown by a clear and distinct outline where not that of pressed moon-spun flowers; instead there was an act of a tomb. Pressed up against the soil like the glass were uncountable hands, skeletal and in ruin, their palms all up, Tsunade fought with her mind to view the hands as not trying to reach Naruto and drag him down, but instead as if they were holding him up from sinking away from his friend's reach.

Death, her mind spoke softly.

Death, her mind tries to clarify. Were they a symbol of how close they were to losing Naruto? Is that what life was in the end, the symbol of death and how it follows her? Tsunade choked again, and Shikamaru and Shizune came to investigate. The noises they made at the sight weren't any better.

“...Don't let anyone move anything else in here! Take a picture of this scene, as well as some evidence.”

“Understood!” They both replied to the command.

“Let's move!”

The main group began moving out of the cave, Naruto snuggled into Sasuke's arms as Sakura clung to the wound-up vines. As Tsunade passed, she saw in the corner of her eyes the horrified look on Shikamaru's face.

'I can't wait to talk to him about this.' Tsunade prayed that Shikamaru would figure out what was going on so she didn't have to.

There was cheering as they left the cave, soft in tone but excited for them at the progress.

"Keep up with me, or I won't hesitate to leave you behind." She heard Sakura whisper the treat to Sasuke, only meant for his ears. Tsunade gripped the boy's shoulder before he left, moving around to take in Naruto's arm again. Gingerly, she wrapped it with a special cloth filled with oils to prevent anything to flake off.

'I'm so happy...we got you.”

She prayed to the boy and stepped out of the way for the two. In a flash, they were off, too quickly to tell which one was faster.

"Those...hands. Those remains that were underneath you..." She trailed off. Naruto's eyes were foggy, his blinking slow. This whole conversation was wave after wave of emotions. His heart was having a hard time choosing whether to be warm; the actions of his precious people, how much they wanted to help him; versus dropping to the pit of his stomach with the sorrow of his decision and guilt of how the people around him felt.

"Those hands...did they belong to the same...to the same thing as that thing out there? Is that what they are?" His voice was fluttery, his throat bobbing. Tsunade smiled softly and tilted her head, noticing Naruto do the same. They were so engrossed in the conversation that they were unconsciously mimicking body language. Tsunade stretched her neck the other way, before leaning further and further, Naruto following suit until his head hit the pillow and hers the armchair. They lay down facing one another.

"I wanted samples to test if DNA could be traced. When digging them up, they found that the hands were still attached to bodies, all of them buried underneath the soil."

“...Why?” Naruto swallowed.

"I'm still not sure, brat. At first, we thought it had something to do with the Jutsu Edo Tensei. However, even that didn't make much sense, as you didn't cast that Jutsu nor was it in the effect of the person who did anymore...so where did they come from? There was no DNA evidence to collect, and the bodies were too decomposed. In further investigation, we found that those bodies were more than a hundred years old."

Naruto blinked up at her before looking down. His cheek was pressed firmly into the pillow, causing his eye to tear up. With each passing blink, it was harder and harder to keep his eyes open. His body felt heavy, indenting the mattress comfortably.

“Brat...”

He looked back at the nickname, now finding the Hokage resting on her knees, her head and arms on the bed. She was smiling serenely at him, which made him bundle the blanket up close to his face to hide. His eyes were big with worry, and Tsunade cooed at the sight, reaching over to pet his hair.

“Brat, I'm sorry for how I said it. I didn't know another way to get your full attention...you seem to be fighting a heavy mental battle, one that could do harm to your physical self as well. What was found at the cave was one thing...but I'm not sure if it all has to do with you."

Naruto hummed at the petting, sinking further into the pillow.

"Really?...are you sure?" Naruto asked softly. The stress of what has been eating him would be fatal if this revelation was true. He created a world where he disregarded his friends, and at the same time, he left the world with a formidable entity that plagued others. He didn't think he would be able to take it if he was the sole cause.

Tsunade never wavered, she tilted her head resting in her arms so they were level with Naruto's. 

"You didn't cast that Jutsu. The remains we found are not the same as the victims of Edo Tensei. Whatever it is, it would be impossible for it to work given your state at the time. There is causation, but no correlation. "

She flexed her fingers, feeling comfortable. 

"In the hidden rain village, there was a young man named Sou, who has endured a life of hell at the hands of his adopted guardian. He was made to work at all hours while giving any proceeds to the guardian. Sou also lost all his friends after his relationship was sabotaged by said person. It seems like this adopted figure was hell-bent on taking away Sou's will so they were under their complete control. I would have never heard of the boy, if not for the fact that one day he snapped. No matter how upset Sou got he wasn't allowed to show it. He had to endure all that with a smile on his face unless he wanted to be abused more. All that smiling was hiding all that pent-up emotion...the fruition, anger, rage. Not long after you got home it was reported that the same type of creature that attacked today attacked then, killing Sou's guardian and siblings who helped in the torture. It was in the dark of night. One person said he saw the corpse, but due to the darkness he dared not approach the figure covered in dirt, moving erratically about. But, you want to know the surprising part?"

"What?" Naruto whispered enraptured.

"It was on the bodies of the deceased...his siblings' eyes were taken out and their throats torn. Meanwhile, the adopted guardian had its hands torn off...as well as its face. When it was investigated, Sou was found unharmed, holding a box that contained evidence that the guardian murdered Sou's biological father to sell his body on the black market. His siblings were known to simply stand back and watch as Sou got abused, all the while laughing."

"...their eyes and throat..."

"Mhmm. In Sou's interrogation, he mentioned what he hated most about the other people. The laughing, the staring, the physical abuse from his guardian. It seemed like a coincidence, but it was more than that. The stir of a reanimated corpse created a ruckus in all villages, so this situation that would have normally been investigated by just the village became national. Sou's situation was difficult, but with all eyes on him like that, it became easy to clear him of anything malicious. With that piqued interest...when situations began happening in different parts of the world they were tended to swiftly. Naruto, the main thing linking all these cases together is someone's long-repressed emotions. Those corpses feed off the negative emotions of humanity, only the most potent type of resentful energy. The person carrying these emotions is not seeking out the corpses to store their resentful energy in but rather, the corpses themselves buried and scattered all over the world are now able to feel these emotions and begin to feed off of them. If given enough, they will be able to move about. Because the energy is negative, the corpses tend to attack wildly with the full rage of whoever they ate from...and are drawn to any other powerful source of repressed emotions.” Tsunade paused her petting, her eyes turning sorrowful as she looked down at Naruto. Naruto in turn pressed his lips together, becoming unnatural still under her.

"Those that are drowning in negative feelings and emotions, who are unable to shake off that type of resentment are the most likely to be targeted. And not just that. Those corpses are...starving. It's becoming a problem for those that reanimate and have no food source, or if they killed the only satiable food source they had. That's when they start attacking the common people, their senses heighten in order to feel the lesser intense emotion that hides in everyday citizens. And...of course, as is the human way, some people are trying to take advantage of this new development in the world. Individuals are searching for ways to control the corpses, given their increased abilities such as strength, agility, and the fact that the only way to stop them is to place a seal on them. Those types of people give their all in hopes of controlling something terrifying and potent until they realize that the slight they feel isn't enough at all to create the corpses they so desperately want. However this in turn has created lesser corpes, ones that wander aimlessly and are weak..." 

Tsunade's vision was far away as she thought about this new threat. Something in her gaze rippled before she leaned down closer to Naruto, smiling once more with her hand on his head.

"I know it's difficult to understand outright, but I'm more than happy to talk about it with you."

“Just not other things.” The words slipped right out of Naruto's mouth as he stared up at her. He hadn't meant to say that out loud, he didn't want to voice that type of concern after all the information he just got. And yet...

He hasn't been able to tear his gaze away from her expression. And after all, she said...after pouring all of her heart out, he still saw the blockade she was holding back. Naruto knew, in some way, that the stories of the corpses and what was found under him weren't the one log blocking the dam. And he felt pathetic enough to feel bitter about that, and frightened at the possibilities. What could be more horrifying then reanimated corpses that they would hide from Naruto? 

“Oh? Honestly, I can say the same for you. Aren't there things you aren't saying? Something deeply bothering you?”

Naruto didn't answer, simply turning over on his back to look at the ceiling.

"Hmm...honestly?" He echoed Tsunade's statement. The bed didn't even dip as Tsunade sat next to him, resting herself on the backboard.

“You won't tell me what it is? Even though all I want to do...is help you?” The hand was back to petting his hair.

'Damn, my weakness to having my hair played with.'

Chills broke out over his skin as he became more and more relaxed and therefore, more tired.

"...I'm afraid of something. Something that fills me with such fear that I almost can't even think about it. Is it the same for you?" His eyes glittered up at her. "The thing that you and everyone else seem to be holding back, are you all afraid to tell me? If that's the case, is it much worse than what you told me today? Why not just say it now?"

“Brat!” Tsunade scolded. “This and that are...different. I told you already, didn't I? You are in a fragile and destructive state at the moment...certain things can trigger a chain reaction, and your body may not be able to handle it. I need to know you understand that, how fragile you are right now. You almost couldn't handle the sight of that fierce corpse...”

Naruto let out a long groan through his closed mouth, not liking the words fragile being associated with him. He thought deeply for a moment.

“You know...I'm going to want to explore around.”

"I know," Tsunade said while stretching her legs out.

“You know, I'm gonna want to see my friends at some point.”

"I know," Tsunade replied again. "Did you want a big 'waking up' party?"

"Hell no." Naruto wrinkled his nose while Tsunade laughed. "Maybe...maybe one at a time. Slowly but not too slowly. The more I get out, the more I feel I can become grounded. I feel like a thousand years went by, and the people around me aren't the ones I remember. It's strange...the world that once shook at my feet is gone. The air is painful and bites, and the world is filled with so much color that it's hard to distinguish what is what. I know you're happy I'm back, but I can't shake the feeling...I can't stop this feeling...this feeling of being alone. I'm surrounded by people who express how much they missed me, yet I feel alone here. Like nobody can see me, and I can't see anyone else. Isn't that insane? Isn't that so incredibly selfish of me, to have so many people care but not be able to shake these emotions?" Naruto's face cracked, as for the first time since he woke up he almost shattered with the weight of the Not-World and this one on his shoulders.

“Ooo, of course not brat. Don't think such a ridiculous thing!” She hugged him close to her, tucking his head under her chin.

“Haha, I don't know if you know this but I'm quite the ridiculous guy.” Naruto attempted to joke to stop the shaking. “I'm really tired now. I don't like that I can't do what I use to be able to without getting so exhausted so quickly.”

"Shhh, it's alright. I know what will make you happy. How about you restart some small endurance training? Some of your friends can help as well. But don't beat yourself up, you started moving just after waking from a coma. You do know that no one else in the world can do that right? You are already moving so fast. I just want to ask that you don't move too fast for me to catch up. Don't leave me behind again, brat."

"...Sorry..." Naruto blinked a tear, the warmth of his Obaa-chan and the soothing strokes of his hair lulling him to sleep. The tidal wave of all he learned today became gentle waves lapping at his feet in the dream world. If he was by himself perhaps that wave would have knocked him down...but his body was too relaxed, he felt too safe. The last thing he heard was the humming of a distant song, vibrating in his heart.

.

.

.

After waking up again, Naruto decided to go back to that room. Or...he guessed it would be his room now since his old apartment was no longer standing. Tsunade and Shizune stood outside the Hokage residence to see him off, the two of them standing with their backs facing the sun, obscuring their faces in shadows. Naruto looked up at the red sky, feeling like he could breathe a little better. He sighed, and all three of them turned to the rattling sound approaching them.

His legs still felt like jelly, so Tsunade had someone stop a passing farmer to help Naruto return. The farmer directing the horse and carriage tipped his hat at them and pulled the horse around so the cart of hay was closer to them. The cart creaked as Naruto took an easy sit inside, resting his back against the hay as Tsunade whistled and made a circle in the air with her hand to let the farmer know he can move. Naruto felt like he didn't know where to look after all the... intimate feelings and sharing were done. He mustered up the courage to look at them both again and gave a little wave. Shizune politely waved back while the Hokage bashfully laughed and flung her hand in the air to wave as well.

Before they were out of sight, Naruto saw Tsunade's face change as she collapsed her head into Shizune's shoulders. Her expression was hidden by her hair and the sunset.

Naruto watched the sky, drinking in the red hue that competed with the leaf colors all around as it faded into a deep blue. The clouds were small and plenty, dotting the sky like stars. He marveled at how he woke up in the evening of the next night, and enjoyed the feeling of refreshment that came from it. Feeling his cheeks, he felt how smooth they were from all the tears he shed and bit back a wavering smile.

The cart didn't shake and rattle loudly like it would have, instead it gently swayed from side to side on the new cobble road that filled Konoha. The quiet was broken up by the sounds of the horse, the wind in the trees, and the long bird calls around them. Distantly, he heard the knocking of a woodpecker.

Naruto took in a deep breath, and let it all out, laying back on the hay and letting himself watch the sky peacefully. 

When they arrived at his...place, Naruto bid the farmer goodbye and petted the horse on the nose. With his only hand tracing the wall Naruto walked down the hallway, opening up the huge windows on his way. In his bedroom, everything was the same as it has been. His instincts told him nobody has entered since he was gone. The air felt the same and there were no new scents.

Naruto put a kettle on, while waiting he opened the bedroom window and leaned out, resting against the frame as he watched the garden.

'Corpse hands...huh? Would it really be okay...to believe that this new development isn't my fault? Would that be selfish of me...'

The clouds above were perfectly reflected in his eyes as he thought. The singing of nature and the quiet hiss of his kettle soothed him into peace. With his eyes closed Naruto let his arm dangle out the window to be blown by the breeze.

Time was moving slower now. 

Once his tea was ready, Naruto came back to the window with his cup, intending to count the leaves on the pound. From his position, he noticed a distant plum of smoke. He watched it mildly, taking a sip of his tea as it had his full attention. There were no sounds of alarms or whistles, and neither was there a rush of Shinobi moving. Naruto dazedly traced the cloud with his finger, noticing the subtle differences it now had. 

'Is it...getting bigger? Could it be...coming this way?' 

Putting his thumb up to measure the distance it came as a surprise to see that this dust plume was closer than he realized. At first, it seemed to be passing the back of the fence, before taking a sudden veer straight toward his bedroom. Naruto jolted and jump at the sound of yelling, having flashbacks of Ino's first visit. However, the person who vaulted over his fence was not the short-haired woman, instead, riding on the back of a large deer was...a yelling Shikamaru! The deer easily cleared the pond in the back with its powerful jump, however when it landed at a sudden stop the man on its back toppled over, barrel rolling onto the ground until he landed in front of Naruto. Naruto was beyond shock as the other man coughed and hacked, trying to catch his breath as he stumbled over his long legs. Shikamaru flopped against the outside wall underneath his window. 

“I forgot!”

“...Eh?” Naruto blinked.

"I forgot to...ha, hold on-" Shikamaru coughed harshly some more, and under his breath Naruto thought he heard him say 'damn, think I swallowed my cigarette'.

"I forgot to tell you, that I know! One of those scrolls, the scrolls I gave you about the war? One of them is a cheat sheet for learning Kanji! It's to help you read better! I made it myself, I was hoping it would help you but I wasn't sure...ahh fuck...What I'm saying is, I know, and I want to help in any way I can! Sorry...for forgetting to tell you, all this time you-bah it doesn't matter! Geez, I hurt..." Shikamaru put his hands on his knees as he breathed heavily.

“Would you...like to come in? I'm making tea.”

"Ha...ha..." Shikamaru looked over, smiling a grateful smile. "That would be wonderful." He thanked before falling over backward into the grass with a loud thud. 

Chapter Text

In the quiet evening of the village, among the flames of lanterns, the shadows moved in an unseen way, carrying messages from the Hokage in hand.

"You have been summoned by the Hokage" a masked individual spoke from the darkness, startling the woman with twin buns on her head.

'The Hokage? She wants to see me?' The woman asked herself while taking the scroll in confusion.

-

"The Hokage asks for your presence." Somewhere else in the village, another masked individual spoke from a height, handing the scroll to a young man with a wild look who was busy waving away the smoke from the train. With a clumsy catch, the astounded man looked up.

"What is-" The masked person was gone before the young man could ask another question. A wet nose sniffed the scroll as his animal companion came beside him to check out the situation.

'What do you think this is Akamaru' He asked as his companion gave a whine in return.

-

"You have been summoned by the Hokage-sama." There was a feminine voice behind the mask, quiet and low.

'Eh?' A young woman with hair the color of lavender at midnight whipped around. Her pale eyes blinked once before lowering as she carefully took the scroll, her hands tightening their grip.

'Thank you.'

-

In the deep forest of Konoha, hidden in the foliage a sharp sound flew through the air before an arrow landed firmly on the bullseye hanging on a taught rope from a branch. The young girl who shot the arrow gave a cocky smile and laughed in triumph before the sound of someone nearby alerted her.

"You have been summon...after much consideration. Arrive at the Hokage's office with the other two." The mask figured was gone as fast as he came, leaving it to the girl to figure out what they meant. She looked at the scroll in hand, before tossing it once in her hand and spinning around.

"Onee-san! We have somewhere to be!" She yelled while running in the direction of her older sister.

-

Kakashi wandered the halls of the recovery unit before he stopped to peek inside a physical therapy room at a peculiar person inside.

In the room, a man was incorrectly using the parallel bars. Instead of helping regain his sense of walking, the man instead was straining his upper muscles and arms to gleefully race up and down the bars while laughing, much to the dismay of the nursing attendant.

'Only an insane person would use the bars like that.'

The man on the bars did a trick shot where he spun his upper body above the bars and began doing upside-down push-ups, the face of Might Gai cleanly visible now as he laughed.

'Oh, that's my insane person.'

Kakashi entered the room quietly as the nurse pleaded with Gai.

'Sir, please. These are used to steady yourself while testing the strength in your legs. They aren't meant to be used like this!' The poor nurse tried to reason with the man, frantically running back and forth to stay in his eyesight. She sounded exhausted, and her neat hair was coming undone.

"Sir, please! This isn't-"

"Hahaha!!! Now watch this move!-"

The nurse and the laughing man were cut off as Kakashi shot his arm out and delivered a loud chop to the back of Gai's head.

"Ne, Gai. Doing this won't help your legs at all, and that's why you're here. You'll never get a clean bill to leave if you keep putting your nurse through this."

The nurse sighed with audible relief and watery eyes.

'Well well well, if it isn't my rival and best friend!' Gai boomed in his ear, and while he rambled off the nurse brought a wheelchair over to Kakashi so that Gai could be sat in it. The man couldn't help himself, and instead of allowing himself to be lowered, instead decided to show off his new found arm strength by placing his palms on the seat and spinning upside down, his body turning into a blur

.

"Hahaha! How about this Kakashi! Think you'll be able to beat me in an arm wrestle tournament now?!"

The nurse backed around from the wildly spinning body before Kakashi gave her the signal to leave. He kneeled down to the blurry and yet somehow still cocky face of Gai before speaking low.

"Gai, I'm here on business. There is something important you need to hear about."

The spinning man stopped in place, his upside-down face and sharp expression imploring Kakashi to speak more.

-

Rather quickly, the Hokage's office was filled with the chatter of Shinobi. Shikamaru stood beside the Hokage's desk, knowing why he was there, his back was tall as he stood still. Some of the incomers seemed to catch this unusual sight of an alert Shikamaru and became focused and rigid themselves. Others, like Inuzaki Kiba and Rock Lee, came in either chattering with their hands behind their heads or bouncing in, unaware of the mood in the room.

Tsunade gazed at them all, her hands clasped over her mouth. Sakura, to her left, fiddled with a device before giving a thumbs up, alerting the Hokage that Kakashi and Maito Gai were on the same radio channel now and listening in from the hospital. Tsunade stood up, a long strand of hair falling over her shoulder. Immediately the room was silent and all gazes were on the three at the desk.

She took a deep breath.

“I have an important announcement to make. One that will be held with the utmost discretion. This topic of discussion is..."

The tension in the room grew heavier as everyone wondered what could have possibly made their Hokage stop mid-sentence. Said woman looked towards the ground, her eyes clouded in thought as she wondered what would be the best way to deliver this information. Closing her eyes, she thought of how she would have wanted to know. The memory of that day came crashing back, of that disheveled Iruka bursting into her office after she last saw him taking a watch on Naruto's condition.

Finding the new resolve, she looked up.

"Uzumaki Naruto has awoken."

Instant pandamonium in her office. The sharp and vigilant persona of the Shinobi in her room cracked with that declaration, and the reactions rippled through them all. Hyuuga Hinata, who stood closest to the window, let out a shocked and relieved cry. Falling to her knees she covered her mouth as the tears flowed, unable to stop the crying. Her teammates quickly kneeled beside her to console her.

Rock Lee on the other side of the room was unable to stand upright. As his legs gave out his teammates reached for him, his dumbstruck expression never leading.

There were many tears and shocked expressions, and the room felt heavy with humidity from the outcries. Finally, someone noticed the lack of reaction in other members.

"Wait...did some of you already know? How long has-" Tenten's question trailed off as others began to notice. Swiftly, the room was divided between those just finding out and those who knew. Iruka, Chouji, and Ino made their way to stand by Sakura and Shikamaru. On the radio, the voice of Gai could be heard asking if Kakashi already knew. The silence was telling.

Before the situation could boil over into something ugly, the Hokage cleared her throat. All thoughts and actions were halted.

"It's alright if you want to celebrate the news..."

"-However, we are not in the clear just yet." Sakura's voice intercepted the Hokage's sentence as she calmly addressed her friends.

"The reason there was a delay in spreading the news is because Naruto's condition is not stable enough to handle the full attention. Yes, some of us have known of him being awake, but it's by that confession that I can say that Naruto is in a difficult and fragile state. Since he has been awake, there have been some incidents of inner tumoral that manifest themselves on the outside. I'm sure some of you heard about the unknown explosion in the marketplace a few days ago...that was in fact a byproduct of Naruto's current state."

The silence was heavy and loud as they all remembered hearing the news.

"Naruto is in a very delicate state right now. One where we cannot in good faith write off that he is no longer in critical condition. While he is awake and can hold a conversation with people, there seems to be a complex complication going on inside his body. What happened at the marketplace was caused by Naruto trying to access Chakra he didn't have. The explosion was caused by his corrupted Chakra reserves sparking out, so to speak, in a physical way. Since then it has been noted that in times of stress, the incident has been close to repeating itself. As of right now, anything that can cause Naruto stress or anxiety, or maybe even just a high process of emotions in general may end in...Naruto not being with us." Sakura swallowed harshly, her emotions getting the best of her at that thought. Shikamaru noticed this and took over.

“Naruto is very confused right now, though in his fashion he doesn't let that stop him.”

This statement caused a few to crack smiles.

"He has already requested to see his friends and has a desire to explore parts of the village. This case, in essence, can be thought of as a case of amnesia. While he still remembers who we are and where he is, there is a connection that seems off. Really, it is a confusing time for him...So while you may want to rush over and see him as soon as possible, with the way he reacted to each of us, I say there will have to be precautions going forward. That means we will have to limit who he sees and when, unless you wanna be like me and get punched in the face." Here, Shikamaru dropped his formal speech for just a moment as he tapped the side of his head he was punched in. The reaction was enough to guarantee nobody would rush over to Naruto immediately. He continued;

"Sakura has written down a list of all of us in order of those least likely to cause a reaction. It is in our hopes that we can begin to reintroduce Naruto to everyone. At this time, I ask that you do not react strongly like you may want to. Try and keep your emotions at a low point, wait until Naruto observes and gets a feel for you. You mustn't approach him when he is alone. So far, we are not sure what triggers it, but something switches inside him and he may attack you wildly. There will be specific people we will designate to chaperon Naruto around the village who can handle it if that situation occurs. If you see Naruto walking around with a chaperone, wait until you get a signal from that person on if you can approach Naruto."

Chills were down the spines of everyone in the room as they thought of Naruto. Attacking others? What could possibly make the person who values his friends so much to attack? What kind of tumoral is he in to put him in such a state?

“Who will the chaperons be?”

Shikamaru brought his gaze to look directly into the eyes of the person who asked, Hyuuga Hinata.

"Kakashi, Sakura, the Hokage, and I so far." Shikamaru did his best not to move, not to look behind him like he wanted at Iruka. A sharp gasp brought their attention to Tenten.

“Was he...involved at all, with the most recent sighting?”

Everyone, including those who already knew about Naruto's condition, looked to the Hokage in worry. Said woman calmly walked around the desk to stand closer to them, patting Sakura on the shoulder for how amazing her student was for speaking up first.

"Because of his coma, Naruto was obviously unaware of what a walking corpse was. He did indeed have his first sighting with that one. It didn't go well, and the shock and confusion caused Naruto to react, however, no injuries were sustained to him, and I was able to take the evening and discuss with him the current situation with those corpses."

Many of them sighed in relief at that news, glad for Naruto's safety and that he was with the Hokage when he first saw a walking corpse. It was a roller coaster of emotions for many of them; first finding out Naruto was awake and then quickly after the trouble he may have been in.

"At the same time-" Tsunade started, her voice taking a steely edge. "Walking corpses are not the only danger to Naruto. We all have another issue on our hands."

"My lady..." Sakura questioned, unknowing of this issue.

"Naruto has taken note that some...information is being kept from him."

The air felt like it was being sucked out from under the door. Many of those there knew what Tsunade meant. It sent chills down their spines with unease. To make sure everyone was on the same note, the Hokage clarified.

"Actively, there are two important things Naruto does not know. The first one is," Tsunade stuck up one finger, "He does not know how the war and his efforts affected the villager's view of him...and his status as a Jinchuuriki. I'm sure by now all of you have at least heard of these vocal opinions firsthand...those fools!"

Anger. Anger at the injustice of how Naruto was treated. Anger at the fact that Naruto helped to save them all and yet he was still treated like a demon. All of that anger bubbled up in Tsunade's throat, and with a swift clench of her hand, she swung it backward, the impact shattering her desk completely.

The door opened, and two masked individuals poked their heads in. No one but Shizune clocked them sneaking against the wall; cleaning up the remains of the old desk, and pulling a brand new desk out of the desk closet.

Tsunade bit her thumbnail as she stewed in her thoughts. In this complicated scenario...it was impossible in good moral standing to condemn the villagers for their view of Naruto. Actions yes, but even as the Hokage it would be immoral to try and tell others what to think. And yet, the idea that there are people out there, people who have been saved by Naruto and it is with his actions that they even have lives to live! To think there are people out there who view Naruto as a...something. It was absurd to the point of being laughable. The vast majority of the villagers do not know Naruto as a person...still...

The restlessness in the room was becoming evident. Tsunade didn't want Naruto's friends to also get lost in these types of thoughts. She continued.

"The second important thing that Naruto doesn't know...number two; Currently Uzumaki Naruto does not know that doing the war, thousands of Shinobi from all over the world were made to witness Naurto's memories and emotions of his past and childhood."

Everyone in the room lowered or closed their eyes as images and emotions flashed their minds to varying feedback. Some of them held their hands to their mouths, as the onslaught of what Naruto had been through without their knowing made them feel sick. Ino, in particular, whose Jutsu it was that broadcasted Naruto's memories to the Allied Shinobi Force swayed on the spot before her legs went weak. Shikamaru and Sakura caught her before she could hurt her head on the Hokage's desk. The woman had a distressed expression on her face as she covered one of her eyes with her hand, shaking from the guilt. Tsunade shot her a similar expression before deciding to power through the meeting.

"As such, it is imperative that no one tell Naruto of what they witnessed on the battlefield. Not until we are sure Naruto can handle that information without being a danger to himself or others.

We must all be strong-willed, and not let our emotions jeopardize Naruto's condition. Now...Is that all understood!?"

"Yes!" Even with the on-slot of feelings, the answer was instantaneous. The radio in Sakura's hand gave a static ring as Gai and Kakashi replied as well.

"Right. I'm glad we all understand. If you have any questions or concerns please come to Sakura, Shikamaru, or I for some guidance. Even if you aren't sure if it's worth bothering us for, it's better to be safe than sorry."

With a tight expression, Tsunade walked back around her (new) desk and sat down, dismissing the Shinobi in the room. She gave them all leeway, as Naruto's friends stumbled in walk, weak from the news. One by one they gave a short bow before leaving, Iruka being one of the last to head for the door. Before he could even bow, two hands shot out to stop him.

"Eh?"

Shikamaru's teammates were the last to leave. Sakura walked with Ino's hand in her own, guiding her to the door. Once the other woman was gone, Sakura slowly turned around, locking the door.

Shikamaru tested the radio.

“Kakashi, are you good?”

“Yes, I am away from anyone at the moment.” Came the curt reply.

"Good," Shikamaru replied before turning his attention to his old academy teacher. "Iruka, why don't we talk?"

Iruka visibly started to sweat at this, his back straight.

"What is there to talk about? Did something else happen?" His eyes were wide and pleading with the Hokage at this, who simply shook her head. Sakura brought over a chair for Iruka to sit in so he was directly across from her.

"This is starting to feel like an interrogation." Iruka tried to joke while scratching his cheek.

"Oh, it is! But it won't be a painful one~" Kakashi's voice joked over the radio.

“Iruka...” Tsunade called out to the man, her hands folded over her mouth and her eyes sharp.

“Y-yes?” Iruka meekly replied back as Sakura and Shikamaru stood on either side of him, facing inwards. He was circled in!

“...Iruka....” Tsunade started again.

"Ah...yes, Hokage-sama?!" Iruka couldn't stop the dismayed cry he gave, his hands clenching the armrest so tightly it began to indent.

"I know it may seem like a monumental responsibility to put on your shoulders, but after careful consideration, we have found you the best candidate for this mission." Tsunade cooly spoke for her seat.

“What mission?” Iruka trembled in place.

"This mission may be the toughest one you have ever gotten, and their life will be in your hands. But your relationship and personality are simply unmatched to anyone else. We genuinely believe no one can do it but you."

"Ahh! What mission?!" Iruka' tunneled his neck into his shoulders, fighting not to scream out loud any more than he had.

Sakura laid a hand on his shoulder while Shikamaru looked down at him with a laid-back posture, despite his eagle eyes.

"Your mission, should you accept," The Hokage picked up. Iruka's eyes were about to bulge out of his head from nervousness. "Your mission, is to be the one to tell Uzumaki Naruto about his memories being projected during the war, and the villager's new view of him..."

Silence.

"....Huh???" Iruka didn't even mind the weird sound he just made in shock. Instead, after a beat he jolted up, pushing Sakura's hand off of his shoulder while the chair he was on toppled backward.

"You can't be serious!? You want me to do it?!" He would have punished himself for yelling at the Hokage of all people.

"Why me?!" Iruka exclaimed.

"Why shouldn't it be you? You and Naruto have an extremely close bond. He values you and your opinion, and looks up to you."

"NO! No no no no no no NO!" Iruka was waving his hands wildly in panic before he threw his chest onto the Hokage's desk.

"Listen, Hokage-sama, I am honored that you have chosen me for this task, but I really think you need to reconsider! I'm not the best candidate for this!"

"But you are? This is a serious matter, and we thought deeply about who would be best." Shikamaru slid up to them in his laid-back manner.

"Hah?! Uh, how about Sakura-chan here? She has been his teammate for a very long time, and she fought right beside him during the war! Besides, Naruto used to have a crush on her. Wouldn't she be better?!" Iruka pointed both hands to Sakura, who stood still and calm, her face unmoving.

"While I am his teammate and friend, and we did fight in the war next to each other I would not be the best person in the situation. I have done things to Naruto in the past, and I treated him badly. I, in a moment of desperation, gave a fake love confession to him. So I, in good faith, cannot be the one to tell him this damning news. Not while also being a person who gave Naruto so much pain in the past. Besides that, my emotions may overwhelm me, and Naruto has a habit of stuffing his emotions down and focusing on others when they cry. He needs someone he can let his guard down around, which would be you."

Sakura's answers were calm and chilled, her eyes never leaving the floor. There was a pause as everyone took in what she said.

“Ah, wait! Wait wait, I am also a cryer! I will most definitely cry if I do it!” Iruka pleaded, one second away from showing these guys how much he could really cry.

"Yes, but your crying will have a more profound impact on Naruto. Instead of hiding his emotions, he would be more likely to cry as well, helping him process the information." Shikamaru shot Iruka's out down.

"ERRR!" Iruka threw his hands up and gripped his hair in frustration at Shikamaru's well-thought-out answers.

"Shikamaru, you are the smart one, surely you know there is someone else who can take my place in this?" He pleaded with the other man, clasping his hands together in a pleading manner as he leaned closer.

"...There is," Shikamaru said as he took a cigarette out, stepping back to open the window.

“Ah!” Iruka's eyes lit up with a thousand lights as a big smile bloomed on his face.

"That person would be Uchiha Sasuke."

"Ah." The light and smile died from Iruka's face. His arms hung limply to the side as he slouched over. Crying as Shikamaru allaberted on.

"Given that Sasuke is away from the village right now with an unknown return date, and that Naruto will be exploring the village before he returns...we really can't expect Naruto to wait much longer. He will encounter villagers as well as some friends who have trouble keeping emotional secrets. It's the better option not to wait until his return. The longer we keep this to ourselves the more painful it will be for Naruto."

"

Is there really no one else?" Iruka muttered to the ground. From his view of the floor, a hand carrying a radio came into sight.

“You sound pretty upset about this.” Kakashi's voice rang out.

“Say, Iruka. Why are you so against this? It's almost like you don't want to be around Naruto...”

Iruka quickly turned away from Kakashi's voice, chewing on his fingernails.

“It's not that I don't want to see him...”

“Then it's fine, right! Good, glad you accept-”

"Hold on hold on! Don't decide things on your own! Of course, I want to see Naruto! He is important to me-"

Sakura sighed in relief next to him.

“Oh good, then you will accept then?”

“What? No no-”

"You said he was important and you do want to see him," Tsunade replied.

“And you are the best person for this mission.” Shikamaru reminded.

“Hah?!”

"I'm so happy!" Sakura cheered.

"And I'm sure Naruto will be happy it was you who told him in the long run!" Kakashi's chipper voice rang from the radio once more. Feeling a gentle touch on his hands, Iruka looked up to see Sakura leaning in close, her eyes watery and honest.

"Sensei...thank you so much." She whispered sincerely to him. Iruka's eyes swirled as everyone congratulated him on taking such a difficult responsibility. Iruka staggard backward, scattering until his back hit the closed office door.

"Uh...um, umm..." Taking a deep breath, Iruka stood at full attention, his eyes sharp and imporing, causing the others to mimic the action.

And in a matter of one second, he bowed to the Hokage and threw open the door, making sure to shut it as he ran out of the building and down the street. The dust trail behind him was large as he sped faster than he had ever gone before.

The three left in the room sighed in unison, both Shikamaru and Sakura

pulling up chairs to dramatically lay their heads on the Hokage's desk.

"Ooo, good job good job~" Tsunade cooed as she petted their heads. Smiling, she didn't notice their hands reaching up until they touched her hair.

"Good job...good job..." Both Shikamaru and Sakura weakly returned the affection, causing Tsunade to beam. Shizune trotted over, beverages and snacks on the tray she was carrying.

"How are you feeling about this?" Shizune whispered in the Hokage's ear, her eyes focused on the window, giving way to what she meant. Tsunade hummed, taking in the aroma of the white lychee tea.

"...It has to be done...and I'm sure he will come to understand what is best," Tsunade whispered back in genuine hope that Iruka would come through and realize he truly is the best for this situation.

-

On the roof of the recovery unit, Kakashi leaned against the guard rail as drying linen fluttered around him. The wind blew his silver hair wildly, while his naked face smiled down at the radio in his hand. From where he was, Kakashi was able to spot the dust cloud Iruka was kicking up from running away. The smile on his face faltered, before returning with a fang. In an instant, Kakashi was gone from the roof.