Chapter 1: 1. My Cub
Chapter Text
The fifth-year was by far the worst for the young Harry Potter. It was almost as if he preferred life with the Dursley without magic, without visions, without black quills and with the hope that someone came to save him. He had found his savior, his godfather, but he found nothing else to do than kill him. Although it was not him that cast the spell or push in the veil, without him, Sirius will still be able to live his life with Remus. He had not only stopped his godfather 's life, but he also had broken his former teacher. Remus had become more than a simple teacher for him. He was a friend, a second godfather, more serious than the other one. The young wizard much needed this calmness in his strange life. The broken professor was gone when Sirius was here. But now the man had no reason to live, according to Harry. The young Gryffindor hoped, with the little hop that remained for him, that Remus will not abandon him. But the older one had every reason to Harry was just a murderer who couldn't live with himself. That is why the young wizard was on his bed alone in the dormitory rather than celebrating the NEWT.
His pessimistic thoughts stopped when he heard the door. He started to search for excuses to provide to Ron or Hermione. To Ron, it will be something like that: "I'm waiting that there is more vibe and something to drink" and to Hermione something like that: " I'm not in the mood to party after this potion exam that I failed.". His friends weren't silly enough to believe that Sirius' death didn't upset him. They thought that it was just sad. According to them, Sirius was a member of the order or a friend, at best. But he was the only thing that kept the young Harry alive and happy. He appreciated that the others didn't understand Sirius's place in his heart. He wouldn't be able to support the pity in their eyes when it was his fault.
Unfortunately for his excuses, the person at the door wasn't one of his friends. It wasn't Ron or Hermione or Neville or Luna or the twins but Remus. When he saw him, he knew that none of his excuses would work. And while he wanted to be alone, he couldn't tell him the awful truth.
"Harry, you are not downstairs to celebrate the end of the year?"
"If you see me here, I'm not." Answered Harry dryly. If he can make him leave this way, he'll do it.
When he saw the shock on Remus's face, Harry blamed himself. But what he didn't see coming was the determination of the adult who frowned. "Harry, I know that you probably don't want to see me, but if you wanna be alone, you could have asked, what do you think?"
"Yes, I should have asked. I'm sorry, Remus. But yes, I want to be alone. We see each over soon?"
"No, Harry, I don't think that is a good idea." "What?" The incomprehension was apparent on every part of his body. He winced and trembled. "You told me to ask, and I did." He tried to control his emotions by replacing them with anger. It was easier to handle. He reduced his tremors. But He didn't succeed in stopping his tears to fall. Harry Potter was an open book, and especially for his older friend. "Yes, I did, but I didn't say that I will leave. Listen, I know that..."
"Remus, it's okay. I know what you'll say, we can end this conversation, and you can leave." This sentence from the young wizard offended the adult. Harry wanted so much that he leaves. But he also knew that it wasn't against him, but the whole world for all of the horrible things that happened during the last 15 years. He knew better than anyone else this feeling. He didn't want some bad memories to come up now. Thus he covered it up and continued his speech. " I know that it is hard for you these days, harder than you want to let us think. I understand that you don't want to confide in your friends, you don't want them to monitor you as if you are going t do something grave. "I'm gonna do something grave I will kill Voldy."
"So, I was saying that it was normal that you refused to confide in them, but you have to in someone, anyone. I am here for you, but you can prefer someone else. The thing is that you need someone to care about you, you more anyone else."
"Don't worry about that I will be with the Dursley tomorrow." "Harry, do you think that that I can trust you on that one?" He waited that the boy lowered his head before he continued. "Be careful, Harry. If you keep lying to me, I wouldn't be able to trust a single word you'll say."
"I'm sorry, Remy." Said the teen by resisting to let his tears fall. "Hey, it's not important, Harry, this time. But this summer no more lies, because otherwise, it's going to be difficult."
"This summer?" wondered Harry, then he thought about it and added sadly. "You speak about the letters that I will send from the Dursley..."
"No, I don't speak about that, Harry what do you think about come living with me this summer, I mean if you want to, if not I understand."
Remus was no longer sure of himself. He fought to talk some sense into Dumbledore. The old wizard didn't understand that we don't want the greater good, but what Remus wanted was the greater good of Harry, not his, Harry's. Dumbledore had offered that the young wizard goes to the Weasley at the end of August. It was certainly not enough for the former teacher. It was now that Harry needed help. He also knew that Harry didn't need them. Remus loved Molly, and if Harry was angry, she was perfect, but he wouldn't handle to be mothered by this woman. The old wizard had after some thoughts offered Severus Snape. Remus had nothing against the potion professor, a tense past, but nothing more important than his cub's happiness. The real problem was the tense relationship between the potion master and the worst potion student, according to the first one. According to Dumbledore, Remus can't take care of Harry because of his condition. He was very hurt by his mentor, the one, who allowed him to go to Hogwarts, to have friends but not to take care of the baby, that he held so many times before. Dumbledore had forbidden him to see him for his own good. He wasn't going to let that happen again.
At the end of a hard discussion, Remus had what he wanted, Harry's guard provided that the young man was with an Order member the moonlit nights. The werewolf didn't like this idea very much, but he had another 20 days to find a solution. So he had fought well, but it was only at this moment, that he asked himself if it was what wanted Harry.
His thought stopped when he heard sobs that Harry had finally let go against his will.
That was a lot for the young Potter, Remus, the one he had killed his boyfriend, wanted to look after him. It was not possible, he must have been forced by Dumbledore. One more person, who had to keep him. "Hey, Harry, talk to me, what's wrong?" Only sobs answered him so Remus doubted even more. "Harry, Harry, If you don't want, tell me... I will say to Professor Dumbledore that I changed my mind."
"It's you...You want to keep me?" Asked Harry by trying to stop his sobs. "No I don't want to keep you, but look after you, take care of you because I care about you." Remus sadly smiled when he saw every emotion pass on his face. Harry had so little trust in adults. Remus blamed himself and promised to himself to change that, whatever it takes.
"You're sure about that because I can be pretty unbearable!" Harry tried to laugh because It was the best conversation he had for a long time. "I'm ready to take the risk!" Smiled Remus and opened his arms. It only took a microsecond for Harry to throw himself in the arms. Remus rocked him and stroked his famous hair. "It's going to be okay, my cub..."
A deep silence followed this declaration. Remus realize what he said, for him, Harry was his cub for a long time, but it may be too soon for the boy, that he held. Harry didn't seem so young for years. Remus had not been able to see him so little. He knew that the boy had missed his childhood, so if Remus could give one to him, he was glad. "Harry, you know that I love you like a son okay, but if it's too much for you, we can be friends and we'll see..."
"No...You were always my second godfather, Uncle Moony, but I'd like you to be like a father to me..." Remus tightened his arms around his boy. The emerald eyes let fall every tear, every sob, and his mouth some cries of pain. "That's it my cub, let it go, I'm here, I'm here..."
Remus was grateful for his idea to cast a Silencio when he came into the dormitories. The tears and the cries kept going for another hour until the boy fell asleep. Harry was asleep on the lap of his father/godfather. Once Remus was certain that his cub was in a deep sleep, he let some tears fall as well. Deep inside him, he knew that the road would be long and hard, but in the end, everything will be not only better but good.
Chapter 2: Turbulence
Summary:
The in-between times. They are gone from Hogwarts but not home either.
Notes:
Hey, so sorry for the ones who were waiting. Honestly, I don't think many people were, but there it is the second chapter. Hope you'll like it. As you know, that story is already written in french, I just have to translate the chapters. That's hard and took a lot of time! And the chapters are longer and longer each time. So I may lack the motivation to keep translating them. But if you really want the following chapters I would only be happy to do them!! So thank you for reading!!
PS: In this chapter Hermione (and Ron) are not so friendly described. They're not too bad. I don't like them, that's my opinion, I just want to warn you in case you adore them and don't want them a bit criticized. Anyway, you won't see them much in the next chapters. I don't want to bash them, they won't just have great importance...
PS2: At the end of the chapter there will be an OC, I know that reading stories about OC can be deceiving. I'm so sorry if you don't like reading about OC. She will have importance in the story, but she will just accompany our Heroes, Harry, Remus, Draco, Sev and some more...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
That was the last moment of the year, the time to rest, to discuss teachers and the OWL's questions in the Hogwarts Express at full speed. That was the first time that Harry was eager to arrive in London. He was tired of seeing Hermione and Ron fighting and trying to hide that they were in love. So tiring! Thankfully Neville and Luna were there, but even their presence couldn't hide the most important thing of the day. For the first time, he had a house waiting for him. A house that Harry one day may call home. Actually, he didn't know if that place was a house, a flat, a cottage, or something else. The teen didn't care.
He was watching the landscape and hearing, by far, his friends' conversation until he heard his name. " Harry, I hope you'll come home this summer after your birthday, that will be great! Playing Quidditch with Ginny and the twins..."
"Yeah, I hope so too. It will also be awesome to see Neville and Luna this year."
Harry noticed Ron's frown. That was not because the ginger-heard didn't like the two, but he wanted Harry only for himself, still a bit jealous. Harry was family. The all Weasley family had accepted him, sometimes more than they had accepted Ron. On the other side, Harry wanted to really meet the two who helped him and risked their lives for Harry's fight. His fight had not ended well for anyone. That was all his fault! Beyond his guilt, Harry reflected a lot since he had loose his last family member (at least what he thought). He noticed that the only persons he knew by heart were the other members of the so-called golden trio. And after his talk with Remus (the one he is still too embarrassed to really think about), he understood that if Remus is still okay to be here for him after all, other people could too. Neville and Luna proved themselves already by going to the ministry. Some others could also help them in the future. He just had to work hard not to let them die through his fault. The list may be longer than he thought before, but they are also some people who can't be part of that list, for example, Draco. No way!
"Harry, you know that you'll be lucky if Professor Dumbledore will let you go to the Burrow after what happened at the ministry." Comes Hermione, who had to tell what she thought was right. It was true, from what she knew, but it wasn't. Harry didn't tell them about his chat with Remus. Still too embarrassed. Now was the time to announce the news to his friends. Harry was so glad that he almost didn't note Hermione's ministry reference. Almost.
"Hermione, I don't go to the Dursley this year, and yes, Dumbledore knows it!" Yes, he was a bit angered. What had happened at the ministry should have stayed there!
"Hey mate, you could have been nicer with Hermione" Ron was always here to defend her, and after that, let's try to explain to Harry that they don't like each other.
Harry was doing everything to stay calm. He didn't want to get upset with his two "best friends". It was not fair to them. If he was honest with himself, his opposite emotions were not helping him. He was cheerful to have someone waiting for him but also fearful of not being enough. That was not his friends' fault, not at all. But it didn't feel safe to explain their feelings to them. That was what hurt the most.
That was the first year Harry had not found himself alone after a jealousy crisis from Ron. Both of them were together against Harry, surely, involuntarily. But that hurt Harry nonetheless. And it was enough for the teen to stop acting like the Gryffindor he was and start reflecting on things. He is not a genius, that's for sure. But he was cleverer than he portrayed. It was his way of soothing tensions in their group. Harry was letting Hermione before them and was with Ron to not let him alone. Everyone was happy and at their place, maybe not Harry, but he didn't deserve happiness and justice.
In his head, Harry could always think as he wanted and how much he wanted. So he thought and thought. The teen knew that Sirius' death traumatized him. Now he wanted to live for himself and no one else. Remus was afraid that it was a depression (THAT HE HAD NOT) that pushed him to pull away from his friends. So he forced his cub to take the train. Harry wanted to hold it against Remus. He just wanted to change and grow, to stop living for others and to stop fighting for others, but for himself. The young wizard had never felt so egotistical. But he got tired of hearing what he had to do. Truthfully, he couldn't hold it against Remus because he was the first to force him to do something for his own good. And to be really honest with himself, the isolation was getting closer and closer.
" I'm so happy for you that Professor Lupin was able to convince the headmaster to let you live with him." Luna knows everything and even more. Harry felt touched, but before he could thank the girl, the ginger-hair boy interrupted them. "What, you didn't tell me! I would have asked mom and dad to take you in! Maybe it's not too late!"
" Thanks Ron, you know I love your family, but that's yours. Now that I have the chance to have my own family, I would like to try..." Even Ron accepted the fact, but Hermione certainly was not.
"Yes, but Harry, Professor Lupin may be less able to be a family for you. The Weasley knows everything about a family, and there are many. You could be the last Weasley boys!" Before Harry had the time to think about a polite answer, she buried herself. " You would not even be safe during the fool moons!"
Harry was not trying to be cordial anymore. "Hermione, stop! Accept the fact you don't know what will happen. That is not in books, that is life, and that's MY life." She didn't convince Harry with her words, but she succeeded in convincing Ron. How not surprising it is! "Hermione is so right! You'll be safer at home!"
Harry was lost. He knows they were trying to do good. But he was hoping for some good words, congratulations and comfort, not that. The teen has lost all his energy. Who could think that a train journey could be so stressful? He didn't want to explain that Ron's home was his and not Harry's. He didn't want to fight anymore. He didn't know what to do.
He had never felt as glad as he was to see the 9 3/4 platform. He tried to stay calm when descending the train. He hid his anger so well. That was not something to be proud of, but the teen was.
Molly opened her arms as soon as the six Hogwarts students arrived. Two of the six were her children. She hugged Harry first. That was odd. But she hugged him, Harry, or the wizarding world saviour, who succeeded in killing someone he loved again. Harry didn't deserve hugs and even less Molly's. Three of her children were close to dying because of him.
Remus was a bit behind Molly. The werewolf felt the pressure on his cub's shoulder and sent him a supportive smile, even if he wanted to do more. But his cub found the way out alone. "Hello Molly, thank you, but I will be better if I can breathe..."
"Oh, sorry, dear!"
Silence followed, in which Harry just wanted to jump into Remus' arms and flee. But he didn't want to look like a child. He didn't know that the man in front of him had the same urge.
"Mom, can you talk to Dumbledore to ask him to let Harry come home with us??" Before any responses came from one of the adults. "Professor Dumbledore, Ronald!"
She didn't have anything else to say! Harry was raging. They all had a family, something that almost everyone obtained at birth. He may not deserve it, but he has the right to try to be suitable for someone!
Remus saw the anger in Harry's eyes and on his body. He also noticed that his cubs tried to hide his feelings, but he tensed! The werewolf will keep an eye on that habit! Hiding may be better at this time. But what would happen when Harry let that anger go...No one knew, except Remus, who knew that he would be there!
"Ron, I know, I tried to, but that old wizard is stubborn. We will at least have Harry during the next foul moon." "But it's in a long time, mom!" Not so long, thought Remus. Anyway, it was time to go!
"I'm so happy for you, and Neville is too. Enjoy your summer, Harry. " Luna whispered in Harry's ears just for him. The werewolf also heard that, thanks to his better hearing. He smiled at the girl, who fled as graciously as she could. Then both Doctors Granger arrived, and that was time to go!
Both of them went to the muggle car park, not looking back. To Harry's surprise, Remus had a car, an old one. With it, they went far away from the wizarding world.
Remus knew what Harry needed. He had been in Harry's shoes once. The rejection, the werewolf knew it very well. Thankfully, when he was a child, he had friends Lilly, James, Sirius, and even Peter, who were there for him. He was a bit disappointed in Hermione and Ron for not accepting him. Because that was what he was. They were not rejecting Harry, contrary to what his boys thought. It was he who was still not accepted. They were protecting their friend, which was honourable, and so was Gryffindor. He just regretted that Harry needed protection against him. He already felt so guilty about him failing his cub the last years. He promised himself to do more and not fall again into his bad habit of running away.
That didn't change the fact that they made his cub sad and angry. He was proud of his boy, who succeeded in keeping his calm. He hoped that now that they were only by themselves, Harry would let go. That didn't happen, and the adult was not surprised. Anyway, Remus saw through Harry's expressions so well. He had the feeling that it would be a lot useful this summer.
Harry was, in fact, still trying to keep his feeling close to him. Hermione once talked to him about trust issues. He didn't have them, or so he thought. He already had many mechanisms to keep his feeling hidden, and one was humour. "So They are all against us, Moony!" That was a way to break the uncomfortable silence for Harry. But this simple sentence awakened all of Remus' doubts. "I'm sorry, Harry! If you want to go to the Burrow, I can bring you there. I'll talk with professor Dumbledore. I convinced him once I could do it again."
"Stop it, Rems! You know that's more my fault than yours."
"Harry, listen to me! Nothing is your fault in that case!"
"Rem, I'll stop to feel guilty when you will. I'll have a lot of time."
the adult didn't answer but sent him a disapproving frown. He let the subject drop. Actually, he couldn't deny that he has an enormous guilt complex. But he was not the one in need. That was the teenager in the passenger seat.
"Anyway, Remus, some people are happy. Luna told me she was." Remus smiled, even if he had already heard it because that showed a bit of trust from his cub. "Good, I'm glad that you are friends."
"Yes, she is a bit strange, but we are all strange in our ways."
"Yes, Harry, that's very wise of you."
"WHY has everyone considered me a stupid Gryffindor who acts without thinking?"
Remus felt the honesty here, he didn't think that his cub was an idiot, and he could not be the only one to see that Harry was not so stupid. He kept that subject to explore with his cub for later and chose to lower the tension. "Harry, you must admit that your decisions didn't always appear so reflected." The teen saw the smile and felt reassured as if he could doubt Remus' love and pride. "I was eleven the first time, sorry!"
"Nothing to be sorry for, Harry. I love to see you thoughtful."
"I am thoughtful! I should have said yes to the sorting hat and let him put me in Slytherin!"
Because of Remus' surprise, the car brake suddenly. "What?" There was no anger or other feeling except surprise in Remus' words, but Harry was afraid of having disappointed his uncle/godfather so soon, before even arriving. "The sorting hat was hesitating between Slytherin and Gryffindor. My life would have changed a lot, I think..."
" I don't think so. You would have still become the same young man you are but hid, mature and wise."
" So I am wise!"
"Do you want to talk about your owls now, young man?"
"...Nope...Where are we going?" The subject drop was more than visible. Remus chose to let it go again. " In my childhood home, the one I grew up when I was at Hogwarts, it's on the other end of the muggle world." Remus sighed. He loved his house, but he wanted more for his cub. The werewolf wished for great things to offer him, but his condition, always his condition, prevented him. He had already been glad when he succeeded in keeping this house thanks to the financial ploys Sirius taught him.
"So cool, I'll be able to be on my broom in the forest. It is not forbidden this one!"
With those words, they arrived in front of a house. Remus told him to get out of the car. Harry was more enthusiastic than Remus. The adult doubted himself, as always. "Harry, there is something important I didn't tell you." The boy didn't see the importance of Remus' tone. He was so glad, almost jumping for joy. "What, something worst than being a werewolf?" The adult tried to smile at the joke and put the key in the lock. Once the door was open, nothing could have stopped Harry from running inside.
The house had old classic tones, but everything seemed operational, especially the kitchen where a girl of Harry's age was waiting. "REMUS, you have arrived! Nice to meet you, Harry. I'm Abbygail, Abby for short!" Yes, Harry was perplexed about her. Who was she? She talked a bit fast but seemed nice. "Nice to meet you, Abby. I'm Harry, as you already know. But who are you, a muggle?"
Without other reactions, Abby fled from the kitchen. She ran upstairs. Remus sighed. Harry had misunderstood something, but what. He turned to his uncle/godfather. "Harry, that was perhaps not the first thing to ask."
"I didn't want to push her. I just asked because if she were a witch, she would be in Hogwarts, and she isn't. So why? Oh no, because she is a werewolf? But Dumbledore accepted you, so why is he not accepting Abby? That's not fair!" Remus smiled involuntarily. His cub, even clumsy, just wanted to protect Abby. That was so adorable. But he had almost driven himself into a panic attack. "Harry, shhh, calm down. She is not a werewolf nor a muggle. You can ask her about the rest later, okay?" He waited for a nod. "Before that time, LET'S EAT!!"
Harry sat at the table. They waited, but the girl didn't answer or come. Remus' shoulders dropped. The adult went upstairs to Abby's room, knowing that a difficult conversation was waiting for him. Now that he had both children at home, he understood that helping both would be challenging. But he would not give up, not again! He will be strong and brave for them. He knew the road would be long a tough, but he would be there for them. He had people, who accompanied him in times of need, and he will do the same for the children in his care. He is hoping for a better future for them, in which the psychopath would not be there anymore.
Notes:
THANK YOU FOR READING!!! ALL MY LOVE!
Yeah, English is not my first language, so If I made a big mistake, which Is incomprehensible, tell me!! (nicely, please)
Chapter 3: Warm or cold
Summary:
A chapter to know more my OC...Remus and Harry are there too of course!
Notes:
Hii! I can’t believe I translated this one so quickly, I was motivated and I did it. That’s amazing for me. Anyway, this chapter is about my OC, Abbygail, I hope you’ll like her (she was written a bit (a lot) about me). Anyway, don’t be afraid Remus and Harry are there too!
Enjoy !!
Lune P.
Chapter Text
The house was not so large, a simple muggle country house. The stairs had been redone, and the old floor had been replaced by a sprung one. The house's spirit was warm and welcoming. Looking at the tiniest details of the ground flour was the only occupation for Harry sitting alone at the table. He was particularly admiring the stairs. He wanted so much to climb them and see and hear what was happening upstairs. He especially wanted to know how he could have failed a simple conversation in only two minutes. Maybe Hermione and Ron were right. I'm not good at companionship these days. Thus, one more time, the teen began to reflect on the meaning of his life, about his main aim, to end things with the most significant dark lord of those times. And more importantly, how to do it without putting again in danger the ones he cares about.
During those reflections, Abbygail was lying on her bed. She knew Remus was coming and that she will finally go to eat downstairs. She knew it. However, the teenage girl hoped really hard that she could just stay on her bed forever, without eating, drinking or seeing anyone. When the girl heard "knock knock", she knew it was over. That she'll come to the TABLE like Remus was often saying. He was so kind and listening. She was kind of forced to give him what he wanted. He was a fine strategist, this werewolf.
The man didn't wait for the invitation to enter Abbygail's room. He also knew very well that they would both go downstairs and eat. The question was whether the dishes would be warm or cold.
He looked at the young lady he had known for years, even if he had welcomed her into his house since the accident, which put the 14 years old girl on the street. She was with Harry, one of the reasons he stayed alive while he thought Sirius had betrayed his friends and him. She gave him a lot of joy, but she also made him raise his voice many times. He really hoped that this evening wouldn't be one of those times.
For now, she was huddled on her bed, inside her bubble. Generally, Remus would at least wait for her to turn herself from the window. However, the wolf inside him was too hungry.
"Do we go downstairs now? Or after talking and thus eat what you cook delicious but cold, Abby?
"Remy, I know you put a stasis charm
on it so everything can stay warm. You can't trick me. I'm not as naive as before."
"So let's discuss..." The adult hid his frustration and sat on Abby's bed. But she kept lying back to him. It was disrespectful, maybe, but that way, the teenage girl could more easily resist him.
"There is nothing to discuss, Remus. I'm not hungry, and I may be a bit sick. It will be great if..."
"Okay..." At that word, a relief tremble travelled from her arms to her legs. But that was not knowing Remus well enough.
"If you can repeat this sentence to me by looking into my eyes, I'll let you alone with your self-loathing thoughts while we eat what you cooked with Harry."
Abbygail was more than unable to do that. She could not repeat that sentence and lie to this man who had helped her so much. The worst thing is that Remus knew this blackmail would work every time, and she kept losing.
Remus heard a resigned sigh from the inert from lying on the bed. The teenage girl stood up and took her way out of her room without a look behind her. She was embarrassed, as always. The sooner it's over, the better it is. But she was stopped by a hand on her right arm. She turned herself around and put her two arms around the man. This man closed the hug to prevent her from escaping before saying what he had to.
"You know it was his way to ask you why you were not at Hogwarts..."
"Ok." She didn't want a conversation, and she wouldn't hide that.
"He even believed that you were a werewolf!" Remus smiled and tried to make her laugh or something.
"If only..."
"Abbygail Bennet, You can not say that!"
"Sorry, Remy..." Abbygail sighed and began to sniff.
"Okay Abby, don't worry about it. I also told him that you weren't a muggle either."
Abbygail didn't hold it against Remus, but it was impossible for her. She would just have loved to explain it herself, but she fleed like always. It was not so complicated to say: "Yes, I'm a witch, a pretty good witch, but because of a bloody disability, I choose to put all my magic to treat it, so bye-bye the rest of my magical life (entire life in fact). And by the way, that is also why my dad left me alone and why my mother died, so yeah, good appetite to you." It was not complicated, no, even with the higher level of sarcasm it was impossible. She didn't tell that aloud, not even once. Remus knew it for sure, and the few times he tried to make her speak about her condition or her parents, she had not spoken to him for a week.
"So my only choice now is to tell him the truth, or he will believe that I'm a squib, and no, thank you very much."
"Yes, but you tell him at your speed and when you're ready."
"And between those times, I will receive prying stares every time I breathe!"
"So the sooner, the better!"
"REMUS!"
"I can't and won't give you those stares. I'm too familiar with them, I know how awful they are." Those words were said by a surprisingly new voice in the room.
Yes, Harry was too curious for his own good. This curiosity had put him in all the bad situations he had found himself in, and the last one was the worst. He had had enough of watching the stairs and trying to hear the discussion from downstairs. He wanted to know what he did wrong. He had wanted to apologize so she could forgive him. Sirius, Cedric and his parents won't be able to forgive him, never. So he would do everything to not increase his guilt. And everything involved spying on a conversation and coming inside in a timely way. Each one has its own charm.
"Harry, I'm not so sure..."
"NO, Remus, I'm here to apologize and to know what I did wrong, I would do everything for that, and you know it."
The adult was proud of his cub, not necessarily his methods, but his will. He let go of Abby from his arms delicately.
"Okay, I leave you two." Remus saw the desperate look in Abby's eyes, so he added: " I have to put those stasis charms!" And then he left after giving a wink to Abby.
Harry only realised at that moment that he had only done the easiest. Concerning the most complicated part, he didn't know how to do it. He had to agree with Remus: he had acted again without thinking.
He had pulled through more complicated situations. He could do it! It wouldn't be a girl, even more, a girl without magic, who would make him afraid. Except, he was very afraid, even terrified, of failing one more thing. A thing that he wants so much to succeed, if he could have a time turner, if Sirius...
Okay, he had digressed, he had to make a move. He looked for his well-hidden Griffinfdor courage and began: " Listen, Abby, I'm sorry. I was just surprised to see someone here. Someone, who Remus didn't talk to me about and someone I didn't see before. That's true I should not have begun my sentence that way. I went a bit too headstrong, don't repeat it, but I do it frequently."
"And I shouldn't have left. I should have let you a chance because now we will eat what I made cold, and I did one of my specialities."
"Yeah, about that, I saw Remus putting stasis charms before going to see you."
"He is a liar! He will know that no one should lie to me!"
She wanted to be frightened, but that was not it, and Harry laughed. She still had some tears that threatened to fall, but she would wait to be on her bed alone tonight to let them fall. She had cried a few times in front of Remus. Actually, Remus caught her a few times while crying. Anyway, crying in front of Harry was out of the question. She couldn't let him see her weaknesses if he could be a friend. Finally, she appreciated him. He didn't force her to say what she didn't want to. Even if he wanted to know, it was written clearly on his face.
Remus had regularly talked about Harry and the others, but it was mostly about Harry. He was his Harry. The Harry according to the werewolf was significantly different from the one described by the Daily Prophet. She had wanted to know who was right, and not surprisingly it was her Remus. The Daily Prophet kept on repeating the same invented stories to please its readers.
"Do we go?" Both teenagers asked each other at the same time. That made them both smile.
"Hey, not now, right, but when you want, you'll tell me what is it...Curiosity is a big flaw, but I'm not perfect!
Harry was so perfect compared with Abby. Except, for a little scar lighting bolt shape, nothing distinguished him from others. And a simple poly-nectar vial, and that's it. On the other side, Abby, whether her magic failed or she loosed focus, her disability would come up in a split second. For Remus, but only for Remus (who had repeated and repeated the same thing for years now), it was nothing more than a little difference. She couldn't compare herself to Remus, he was in agony every month. But at least, for the rest of the time, his wolf stayed invisible.
Without magic, she limped, and she limped a lot. In the muggle world, it was frowned upon, but in the wizarding world, where those diseases and disabilities were not supposed to exist, she would be classified as Remus and would be judged all the time. She would be the centre of attention.
She would prefer to be invisible than be in the centre of all the stares. Only her parents and Remus had seen her walking, hmm, limping. That was more than enough. She didn't want the not-so-perfect Harry Potter to know it. She was realistic, she knew that living together, he would see her going to the bathroom during the night. The nights when she was sure to be alone, were the only moments when she decreased her focus and could use her wand. Now, those moments would be less and less. She knew she had to tell him, it was better from her than from Remus, but not now.
"I promised, but one accusatory glance and that promise is over!"
"I promised too, but you know I don't judge people on their past but on their actions. That's it, you proved yourself, I like you, and there is nothing to make me forget about this discussion about the fact that Remus is a big liar.!"
"Thank you, Harry."
A tear of joy had succeeded in escaping Abby's eyelids. Harry didn't tell anything but noticed it and was pleased with himself. He did something good. All is not lost.
They went downstairs and sat at the table. The first thing Abby did was give her darkest look to Remus. The adult turned to Harry to understand, but the boy shrugged. They ate in comfortable silence before a dispute burst out about what to watch on the TV. Everyone had really good arguments. Remus understood that Abby didn't reveal her secret but knew she was close to doing it. If Harry could help Abby, nothing could be less certain because she was so stubborn, Remus didn't doubt that Abby could help Harry. It would kill two birds with one stone.
Chapter 4: Whose fault was that?
Summary:
Remus and Harry have a much-needed discussion
Notes:
Hello so sorry to have disappeared a bit, but exams. They are over, for now, so I'll try to write more, but the next chapters are so long in french and translating the theme is so tiring. I do not know when I'll finish the next one. I hope you enjoy it!!
Chapter Text
Some days, almost a week has passed since he came to that house (home?), and everything went well for the young Harry. He had a family for the first time in his life. His parents, he didn't remember, except for their death. The Weasleys weren't his own family. And with Sirius, that had not lasted long enough. And whose fault was that?
Yes, Harry was getting better. It didn't mean he was doing fine or was not having nightmares about the graveyard with Cedric and the Department of Mysteries. Each night it was one or the other. He could not fall asleep without reminding himself of all the wrong he had done to the persons he loved. He reflected on Ron's and Hermione's anger, which was more than justified. Harry had made them risk their lives at the Ministry for nothing. If he had only thought, listened to Hermione. No, he had once again rushed headlong into the fight as the most stupid Gryffindor he was. Even Dean wouldn't have made that mistake.
Now he was there wandering in the little corridor on the first floor. Remus had told him he could come to his room if he needed. The young wizard needed it but was not ready to admit it to anyone, even himself. He roamed in the little corridor to exhaust himself and stop thinking. He was also trying to think about the good things in his life, about Remus, who helped him while Harry had destroyed his life, about Abbygail, who didn't trust him enough to tell him anything. He succeeded in ruining the good things and burying them beyond multiple negative feelings. Harry acknowledged that he was depressed, but it was normal, and after everything he had done, it was all he deserved. His guilt was his punishment. The advantage of living with Remus, compared to Hogwarts, was that he didn't have to pretend he was doing okay or give fake smiles. He could be just himself, laughing about Abbygail's tv series, yawning in front of Remus documentaries. That night, he would have preferred not to watch his movie because the documentary would have helped him to fall asleep.
Harry was beginning to resign himself. The sun would go up in an hour. He would be, as usual, the first one awake and in charge of the breakfast. It was now a habit, thanks to the Dursleys. Remus was always the second one and told the younger wizard every morning: " You know Harry, I know how to make breakfast." Harry knew that, but breakfast was a thing he did to redeem himself, even if nothing could avenge Sirius' death. Just before noon, Abby would go down the stairs and eat breakfast. She preferred Harry's breakfast to Remus' one without hesitation. Both young wizards had become closer in the last few days. They had talked about everything except their personal lives. The main subject was how to annoy Remus. As a matter of fact, if Remus had known at the beginning what he meant to have two teenagers at home, he would have hesitated longer. Both were driving him crazy, but the Marauder that he had been, still was maybe, had fought back, and wouldn't let them get away so smoothly. The last days were full, with Book battles in the library to push Remus to put them back in alphabetical order. Remus was the only one who could use magic. He enjoyed that fact very much, Abby's hair colour had changed many times, and Harry's glasses disappeared a lot of times too.
The adult was happy to be the distraction during the day if it was a way to let the children think about something else. He knew more than anyone else that they must face their problems, but he was not eager to pick up the pieces. He was not sure he would survive looking at them falling apart. Nonetheless, Remus knew he was the adult and had to assume his responsibilities, and he had to do that before the next full moon. He hated that moon more than the others. The werewolf would have to let Harry go with an Order member, which meant Molly. He was not sure he could pick Harry again from her. She loved Harry too much for their own good. At first, he had decided to have that discussion with Harry on his first weekend, and it was Saturday. He didn't want to get up, but he had to. The morning was the best time to talk to Harry without having two rascals in his living room.
Thus, Remus found, like every morning, Harry in the kitchen. That morning the breakfast was already made by the young wizard. That meant that his cub had been awake for a long time. And that meant nightmares. Nothing could avoid the werewolf's sense of observation, especially when it was about his little cub. And the more Harry wanted to hide things, the more his godfather was worried.
"Good morning, Harry. Did you sleep well?" Remus asked Harry subtly, while he knew that it was false and worse than usual. "You know, Moony, you should refresh your questions."
"When I don't obtain the truth, I don't know why I should change them." Remus knew he was pushing, but he had to. The boy was tired. He may be closer to his limits. And he was right. "What do you want me to say? That tonight, I didn't even fall asleep once. If you had changed your stupid questions and asked me if I had nightmares, I would have answered no, and I would not have lied."
That was anger in his cub's mouth. Remus would have preferred sadness or frustration, but it was already an emotion. So he would rule with it and answer the more calmly as possible. "So why didn't you come to me?"
"I didn't want to bother you." Harry wanted to make it look like that discussion was over. The boy wished nothing had ever happened, Cedric with the Cup, Sirius at the Ministry. He desired to expulse all those memories from his mind as Lockhart did with his Obliviate against himself. He didn't want Remus to see him like this, especially not Remus. The truth was that he didn't want to be helped. He was the symbol of the light, of hope, so he didn't need any help. According to the prophecy, he was the one powerful enough to fight Voldemort, so he didn't need any help. He was trying to convince himself with all his strengths.
"Harry, you know that you could never bother me. You are my cub. I care about you. Do not forget it." That was too much for Harry. He could not continue with this conversation, not with the few sleepy nights he had in the last weeks.
"I know, I know, Moony. But what I also know is that I don't deserve you." After that sentence, which concluded the conversation from Harry's point of view, he fled to his room, running through the stairs. Remus sighed. He had at least had a beginning of a discussion. He knew his cub wanted to be alone to deal with his feelings. He didn't know if he should let him alone or not. But, Remus too needed to think.
What? Why he doesn't deserve me? If he knew that it was myself that doesn't deserve him. I left him alone in Hell for ten years, and he forgave me. I have to show him it is not his fault, but how?
Remus kept thinking until he heard a door creaking upstairs. He knew that the young boy would come back voluntarily. He would have to bring him back as he did with Abby. He often asked himself why the first floor was so high... He would ask himself the same question many times again, he knew.
As every day, noon was coming, Abby sat at the table and eat breakfast. A frown appeared on her face when she realised that her eggs were cold. She didn't ask for any explications but was surprised to not see Harry watching TV or reading a Quidditch magazine.
"Lunch is ready!" An hour and some minutes had passed before Remus shouted those words. Abby ran to the table to avoid being scolded. Harry took his time but came. The adult was surprised, he thought he would have to do a lot of negotiations. Both males shared dark glances in front of Abby, who hated misunderstanding. "What did I miss?"
"NOTHING. AT. ALL!" Harry yelled but then he add more calmy. "You should have woken up earlier."
The meal kept going for the first time in an uncomfortable silence. Both men were trying to find something to say without leading to this morning's discussion. The younger one wanted to forget and make it as if he had slept till noon. Remus wanted to show him that he was present without doing too much, especially in front of Abbygail. The girl was searching for various scenarios to explain what had happened to make Remus angry and Harry invisible. That was an impossible task. In fact, Remus was not angry, at least not against Harry, but against himself because he didn't know how to solve this situation. He had been in that kind of situation a lot and was still lost. And Harry was not trying to be invisible, he was trying to be forgotten. He had always been in the middle of the whispers, the rumours, the daily prophet articles. That house had been his safe haven, but he had ruined it this morning.
Lunch was over, and to put back a bit of normalcy in the day Abby asked Harry. "What do we do today, Harry, to annoy our dear Remus?"
"Nothing for me, I will do a bit of homework." He got up and left. Abby was more and more surprised and Remus was more and more disapproving. The adult didn't believe in the homework excuse. He had known two Potters, and he had to force both of them to work. Remus shrugged to answer the not formulated question from Abby. He concentrated on himself and breathed deeply before going upstairs.
In front of the door, he knocked politely and then entered without invitation. That was his home. What he saw in this bedroom surprised him more than it should. Harry was on his bed with a quill and his transfiguration book. "Do not believe that I do not prefer that you do your homework instead of destroying my bookshelves. But I do think we have to talk."
"And about what do you want to talk Remy?"
"Perhaps, about the fact that you think you do not deserve me?"
"I said that because I was tired..."
"So we can talk about your nightmares?"
"Remus, please, let it go, it will be better tomorrow."
"I have no doubt, but it will be better this evening if talk about it, won't it?"
"Remus, stop!"
"Stop what? Stop talking to you?"
"Being nice to me!"
At those words, Harry fell apart in tears and curled up on his bed as if he had to protect himself against thousands of spells. Remus came closer and sat on the edge of the bed. He stroked his hair. "You know that I only do that for you. I care about you."
"Mmmm..." Harry was no more able to answer him. Remus took the opportunity to whisper words Harry needed so much to hear.
"Harry, that is not Your fault... You had nothing to do with that. Sirius went voluntarily, and he knew the risks. You didn't force him..."
The werewolf heard only a small grunt. He knew that the young wizard would need more to really believe those words. But that was only the beginning, he let him fall asleep. That was already progress. He turned off the light and closed the door while watching with fondness the small boy curled up on the bed.
Chapter 5: Unexpected visit
Summary:
Severus and Draco apparition
Notes:
Hii, I'm back again, if there are still some people wanting for the rest of the story!!
Hope you are okay, happy new year 2025 to everyone. That was one of my resolutions to write again!!
English is still not my first language. Sorry if it is not understandable!!
Hope you enjoy it!
Chapter Text
Remus was determined to make this day better. However, as soon as he descended the stairs, he found Abbyagil reading a History book and realised he didn't know what to do. He was entirely lost with both of them. Abby was not reading the book as much as she pretended. She turned the pages like a robot to increase her cover. In reality, what the girl wanted was to know, to know everything. Since she was little, the girl had had an inferiority complex. The way for her to fight it was to know everything. Not knowing something was impossible for her, and in her head, it could lead to severe consequences. Remus had been very fond of it. It was a pleasure to teach her something. Her eyelids had always opened at one go and then blinked during the period she understood the information. Her curiosity had grown in every domain. Nowadays, Remus was concerned. He had understood that not knowing and suffering were synonyms in her mind.
Indeed, the young girl thought the knowledge was a duty. She didn't have a choice. She couldn't do a lot of magic these days. Thus, the least she could do was learn as much as possible. The actual problem was all the information she didn't know, all the ones she couldn't. She thought that someone was refusing to tell her, that someone blocked her from obtaining the knowledge, that someone judged her as not worthy. That someone was her, but she didn't know that. She certainly thought of her as an inferior person. She was so sure that people thought of her that way. Remus saw this inferiority complex in action more than once, but one time, the crisis had been more intense. The girl had been ten for a day and couldn't understand why she couldn't go to Hogwarts while she knew the entire programs of the first and second year in potions and charms. The little girl had a bit of difficulty with transfiguration. So, one evening, she asked Remus to teach her an unforgivable spell. He had taught her how to read and write, but clearly, he couldn't teach her one of those spells. Remus refused as sternly as he could so did her parents. The thing was that Abbygail thought they didn't want to teach her because she was handicapped. Since that day, she had searched every book she had found for the spell that would allow her disease to be invisible to everyone else. She didn't explain the reason to anyone. Remus would have told her that it didn't make any sense. If she wanted to learn those spells and others she should go to Hogwarts, but to go there she would have to not use this spell. Obviously, each time she reflected on it, she saw the illogical part of her reasoning. But she had become accustomed to this irrational thinking, and especially she had forgotten the bad looks and the rude questions.
Remus was so sure that she had read this book called " A History of Magic", the most known historical book, a thousand times. She could recite it. He knew she was perplexed about Harry and his morning, and not knowing what and why. He could tell her, but that would betray the little of Harry's trust he had given him this morning. That was too precious. And She didn't tell Harry anything so it was unfair in Remus' mind to tell. Remus naively wanted both of his children to tell each other in the same discussion. He was going to offer this idea when the black fireplace changed to an emerald green. It's the way two men entered the house, one with his famous white beard and one with his usual black robe.
The young girl stopped her reading and looked up to Remus to ask him with her eyes why. He shrugged once again that day, but this time she knew that he was as lost as her. She was not reassured. Remus should know, Remus knew everything, because if he didn't know...
Her thoughts were stopped by the greatest wizard of all time. " Remus, Severus and I wouldn't refuse some tea and some sweets." Remus hated the way the man could scold him and expose his poor capacity to receive people while being nice. Remus was so lost that day, his morning discussion with Harry, his worry for Abbygail, and having those men in his living room with no doubt some bad news. He was Harry's guardian for just a week and it was already finished. The time he took to choose what he was going to do. Abbygail came back with tea, the rest of the biscuits, and some cream for her tea. Tea without creme had always been tasteless for the girl, who had received a lot of remarks since her childhood. They are the only remarks she received since she used the spell.
"Thank you, Miss Bennett. Hogwarts still misses you. Think it through this year. You could pass your OWLS at the ministry and begin your sixth year with Mister Potter." Remus studied the face of his almost niece. For the first time, she seemed to really think about it. She didn't answer but all hope was not lost. Remus always had a lot of hope for others. "Besides, where is this boy?"
"Harry is in his room, doing his homework. I'm going to bring him back"
"At least, a good point for the wolf!" The first time Severus talked it was about Harry. Remus was not surprised and was not offended by being called wolf. That was what he was, a wolf, a monster. " Thank you, Severus." The potion teacher didn't like Remus, he was one of his enemies. He wasn't the worst of the four Marauders. But he was close to Lily, she might have whined about him a lot of times after the incident. He appreciated that contrary to everyone else, who avoided him, feared him or on the contrary looked at him as if he was nothing other than a stupid death eater. Remus was always perfectly calm when he answered Severus' mean comments. He admired his calmness and goodness. Severus had succeeded in killing the only woman he had ever loved. Both of them could have been friends, both of them loved to learn. Severus knew his want for revenge was childish, but the other man had wanted to kill him.
Without a Sound, Harry descended the stairs with all the discretion he had. That was pretty good, but the old wizards had a good view! " Harry, my boy. How are you?"
"Very good, Professor." Even if Harry was calm again and the dark circles under his eyes had reduced, the boy didn't know how to lie. Dumbledore smiled back. He was not 'very good', but saying it could mean that he was on the right track. At least for Albus, because Remus didn't want him to fall into the denial phase. The worst phase for those who are around. The anger, he could deal with it, even if James's son could be as stubborn as his father. Even Severus seemed surprised at seeing Harry this way. Abbygail was happy to not be the centre of attention anymore.
"We are here for a critical reason, since the capture of Lucius Malfoy at the ministry.." The simple words on this subject made Harry sad and unable to understand another word of the discussion. Thankfully for him, Remus and Abby were focused on following the conversation. " Severus has succeeded in making Lucius' son join us. Thus, we are looking for a Home for Draco. We prefer to make sure of his loyalty before showing him Grimmaud Place, so we thought of here."
"So If I understood correctly, you don't want to risk Sirius' home but for Remus' you don't have any hesitation." Harry's anger came back in full force. His mind had came back to the discussion at hearing Draco's name. " As I was saying, before Mister Potter stopped me, we are sure about Draco's loyalty but we don't want more risks than necessary."
"So, put a death eater's son in the same house as the boy who lived, who is moreover his worst enemy, is not taking a risk for you?" Surprisingly it was Abby who answered. "Miss Bennett, those childish fights have to stop. It's the perfect moment to do so."
"Albus, I'm not sure, it's the perfect time." Remus didn't need to say that Harry was still fragile, it was clear on his face. Seeing Draco again, whose father was here when Siris died would be complicated for Harry, for him too by the way. But he saw Albus' eyes sparkle, he knew he had lost the fight. He had a last chance. "Severus?"
"Lupin, I'm against it as you are, but I had discussed it all day without success. So can we please agree soon to allow us to settle in rapidly?"
"Us?"
"I'm not going to let my godson's life be in the hands of two Griffindors." Both Gryffindors looked between them with no hope. They are both going to live with their Hogwarts nemesis. " So it's perfect! And for next Sunday, Remus do not worry anymore about Molly, severus will be here." Yes, Remus would not worry anymore about letting Harry with the Weasleys and that he may not want to come back. He would let him with Severus, he may not find him alive.
With some more words let Albus eat two or three more biscuits. The two men left. The two Slytherins would come back next Saturday. The three of them had seven days to make a plan to survive this summer.
"We should talk!" Abby said she was the least concerned by this news. But she loved the family-like relationship they had for the last few days and didn't want it to change. Harry had become a brother to her. She didn't want this old fool to change his family. It was time for her intelligence to come save the things she believed in.
Chibius on Chapter 1 Wed 15 Jan 2020 04:54AM UTC
Comment Actions
LunePrimus on Chapter 1 Tue 27 Apr 2021 08:34AM UTC
Comment Actions
caolin on Chapter 1 Fri 17 Jan 2020 07:33PM UTC
Comment Actions
LunePrimus on Chapter 1 Tue 27 Apr 2021 08:30AM UTC
Comment Actions
Sofiegs on Chapter 1 Mon 26 Apr 2021 09:14AM UTC
Comment Actions
LunePrimus on Chapter 1 Tue 27 Apr 2021 08:26AM UTC
Comment Actions
JeS3004 on Chapter 1 Wed 11 Jan 2023 09:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
LunePrimus on Chapter 1 Wed 11 Jan 2023 02:43PM UTC
Comment Actions
whitlove_Cherry on Chapter 1 Wed 29 Mar 2023 02:36AM UTC
Comment Actions
LunePrimus on Chapter 1 Wed 29 Mar 2023 03:09PM UTC
Comment Actions
AnnaOnTheMoon on Chapter 2 Tue 24 Jan 2023 07:26PM UTC
Comment Actions
LunePrimus on Chapter 2 Wed 25 Jan 2023 06:19PM UTC
Comment Actions
bsc3wtmf (Guest) on Chapter 4 Wed 24 Jan 2024 05:25AM UTC
Comment Actions