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2014-08-30
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The Cat Intervention

Summary:

Kenma really needs to stop feeding his cat. This is getting out of hand.

Notes:

“Summer is too hot, winter is too cold.”
Oh Kenma.

Idk why but somehow all my fics end up with Kenma and a cat. Kozume Kenma/ Cat needs to be a relationship tag.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Kuroo has grown up like this, from young, spending every weekend at Kenma's house or vice versa.  Today, they’re sitting outside Kenma’s house, in the backyard, just lazing around and enjoying the cool weather while they still can.  The only difference this day has from the same time last year is the third party that has joined them, a sprawled-out cat lying in the grass at the side of Kenma's chair.  It mewls and rolls over, and Kenma, sunk low in a lawn chair with his latest game in his lap, lazily rips off another piece of the sandwich Kuroo had given him and feeds it to the cat.

"Kenma, I made that sandwich for you, not your cat.” Kuroo says in disapproval.

When Kenma adopted the stray cat last year it had been all skin and bones, but over the course of the year Kenma had fixed that. The change was drastic: by now it had grown large and powerful, any hints of the former malnourishment long gone.  To say Kenma looked after the cat was a bit of an overstatement, half the time he just lay there and used Roxas as a foot-rest or pillow as he played his games.  But Kenma kept the cat fed, and that was enough.

Lately, Kuroo seemed to think that it was too much.

“I never seen you finish anything these days without giving at least half of it to him.”  Kuroo complains, just as Kenma drops the rest of the sandwich onto the ground and rolls over onto his stomach, resuming his game.

Frowning, the captain takes a seat beside Kenma. He tears his last sandwich into half and hovers it close to the boy’s face, waiting for him to open his mouth.

“This is for you, not that ball of fat.” Kuroo says. Kenma sighs but takes the sandwich into his mouth, triangular edges hanging out limply.  Under Kuroo’s gaze, he eats it, still controlling his game with one hand.  With the other hand, he tears off a small piece and Roxas purrs happily in thanks. 

“You’re feeding him too much.”  Kuroo warns.

 

 -

 

Roxas walks them to school sometimes, and picks them up.  He’s affectionate and clingy, even for a cat, and Kenma’s always tripping over him as he coils his body and tail in between Kenma’s legs.  Usually though, Roxas perches on Kuroo’s shoulder or hangs off Kuroo’s bag, and lets the captain carry him to school and back.

“You should make him walk.”  Yaku had suggested one day, watching the cat as it slinked around the outside of the Nekoma gym.  “The exercise would be good for him.”

But Roxas did whatever he wanted.  ‘Just like Kenma,’ Kuroo had grumbled.

“He is way too heavy to be doing this.” Kuroo says to Kenma as they set off one day, once again with Roxas riding on Kuroo’s shoulder.

Kenma taps away at his game absently. “He can’t be too heavy. You carry me home sometimes.”

“That’s different.  You’re supposed to be heavy.”  Kuroo points out, trying to shrug Roxas off.  The cat responds by digging his claws into Kuroo’s skin.

By the time they finally reach the gym, Kuroo has resigned himself to being official cat-carrier.  Inuoka and Yamamoto are sitting outside on the steps discussing a new girl who’d transferred in recently, and Kuroo heads towards them just as Roxas takes a flying leap towards Kenma.

Taken by surprise, the additional weight throws him off balance and Kenma reels backwards, and would have fallen if Lev had not chosen that moment to show up, catching him just in time.  Kenma yelps, the back of his head colliding with Lev’s chest.

Yaku picks Roxas off Kenma’s shoulder and places him on the ground.  “Kenma, this cat is fat.”

Kuroo’s mouth quirks upwards.  “Thanks, Yaku.  I’ve been trying to tell him that for ages.”

“It’s fine, Kuroo.”  Kenma says, untangling himself from Lev with a quiet ‘thanks’.

“That’s not fine.”  Yamamoto says.  “He’s like a small tiger.”

Kenma can’t argue with that, but he honestly doesn’t think it’s a problem.

 

- 

 

Kenma suffers through summer with Roxas frequently trying to curl up beside him in bed.  It’s way too hot in summer to have anything pressed that close to you while you sleep.  He wakes up every morning for a week with a lump of a cat curled up on his chest, and decides that Roxas is sleeping outside of his bedroom for the rest of summer.

It lessens the heat, but barely.

Summer’s just not Kenma’s weather.

 

 -

 

Neither is winter.

 

 -

 

Kenma wakes up one morning in December feeling horrible.  He’s shaking from head to toe, and his head is fuzzy, like he’s underwater.  He sucks in a deep breath of cold air and stumbles out of bed.

His parents are out, Kenma finds, when he pokes his head out of his room to survey the house.  He pauses in the hallway long enough to adjust the heating before retreating back to his room. 

He shivers, burrowing into his blankets, trying to keep warm.  Presently, a comforting weight settles on his chest.  Kenma blinks and sees grey fur and a tail swish before his face as Roxas sprawls out over him.

Taking in the warmth gratefully, Kenma rests a hand on the cat’s soft fur, wraps them both in the blankets and falls asleep.

 

 -

 

The next time Kenma wakes, he feels like he’s suffocating.  Blearily, he tries to sit up, but his movements are disjointed and something is holding him down.

Breathing in through a congested nose that provided little access to air, Kenma makes out Roxas, still fast asleep on his chest. Kenma groans.  He shoves at Roxas, trying to get the cat off him, but finds that he’s too weak to actually move the large cat.

“Move, Roxas.”  Kenma mumbles, helplessly pushing at the weight. His arms refuse to obey him, and he sinks back down momentarily.

Kuroo was right.  Roxas is kind of heavy.  Sucking in another shallow breath of air, he fumbles through the sheets for his phone, hoping that he left it within arm’s reach before he’d fallen asleep, and finds the hard plastic cover of the phone beneath his pillow.  He squints at the blurry digits on the screen, and hits the call button.

Kuroo picks up after the second ring, voice easy and relaxed. “Hey, what’s up? I thought you were going to join us for the movie.”

Movie?  Kenma frowns, his thoughts swimming in and out of focus, trying to remember what day it is.  His head is too foggy.

“Kuroo, can you come over?”  he murmurs.

Concern seeps into Kuroo’s tone.  “What’s wrong?  Are you okay?”

It’s ridiculous, and Kuroo’s definitely going to laugh. Reluctantly, Kenma says, “I’m pinned… under Roxas.” 

There’s a long pause.

“You’re pinned?  As in, stuck?”

“He’s heavy.”  Kenma says unhappily.  He’s really heavy.

As expected, Kuroo snorts and bursts out laughing.

“You’re stuck under a fat cat."  Kuroo says incredulously.  "I told you you were feeding him too much.”

It’s kind of funny, but at the same time it’s really not— because Kenma’s starting to feel really lightheaded and his throat and lungs are burning.

“Kuroo.”  he gasps.

Kuroo stops laughing.  “Kenma?  You alright there?”

Kenma doesn’t reply.  There’s so little air.  The phone slides from his grip to the bedsheets, and Kenma goes back under.

 

 -

 

Kenma stirs to the weight in his chest finally being lifted, at long last, and struggles to open his eyes.  Kuroo sets Roxas onto the floor and places a hand over Kenma’s forehead gently.

“Okay, I’m going to laugh at you later, but you’re really sick, Kenma.”  Kuroo says. He pushes away from the bed and heads out the door.  “Stay put. I’m going downstairs to get some medicine.”

As soon as Kuroo leaves, he feels something press against his side again, and realizes Roxas has climbed back onto the bed. Kenma tenses, but Roxas only nuzzles at his side affectionately.  Kenma pulls the cat closer, his body shivering still.

His breathing is slowly returning to him, but his chest hurts every time he takes a breath.  Kenma sighs.

The door creaks as Kuroo reenters the room. He places a glass of water and a bottle of pills on the bedside table, trying to scoop Roxas off the bed with his foot. The cat simply climbs over Kenma and settles on his other side.

Kuroo shakes his head, but sits down beside Kenma, helping him sit up.  Shaking a pill from the bottle, Kuroo guides it to Kenma’s mouth and coaxes him to swallow it, then drink some water.  Kenma obeys, not having the energy to protest, and then lies back down.

“Off the bed, Roxas.”  Kuroo orders, and the glass clinks as he puts it back on the counter.  The cat, predictably, does not budge.

“Kuroo, don't.  I’m cold.”  Kenma pleads as Kuroo forcibly removes the warmth from his side.

“This cat nearly killed you.”  Kuroo says.  “He’s not getting back up here.”

Kenma makes an unhappy sound of protest. Noticing the boy’s shivers, Kuroo folds.  He lifts Kenma slightly, shifting him aside on the bed to make room for himself. Climbing in, he tucks the covers around them, snaking one arm beneath Kenma’s head.

A grey head pokes its way in between them, and Roxas climbs onto Kuroo’s stomach, sprawling out contentedly.

“Happy?”  Kuroo asks quietly.

Kenma nods, and Kuroo runs his fingers through the soft blond hair.  Roxas is heavy, but Kuroo figures he'll just have to live with it.

When Kenma gets better, they're putting that cat on a diet.

 

 -

 

A few days later, Kenma’s well enough to attend practice again.  Roxas trails behind them, but Kuroo strictly refuses to carry the cat.  After practice, Kenma exits the locker room and sees Inuoka eating a banana, the first-year crouching down to pat Roxas.

“Hey, Kenma, cats can eat bananas, right? Can I give him some?” Inuoka asks.

“Oh.  Don’t.”  Kenma says.  “I’m um— watching his diet.”

Everyone stares.  Kenma flushes a bright red.

“I’m impressed.” Yaku says, at last. “What brought this change on?”

Kuroo chortles, hooking an arm across Kenma’s shoulder. “It’s kind of a funny story.”

Kenma elbows him in the stomach.  

“Don’t you dare, Kuroo.”

 

 

Notes:

This is super self-indulgent. It was supposed to be fluffy and ridiculous, but I also wanted to write a hurt/sick Kenma so badly that I couldn't resist. Not satisfied with the h/c yet. Ahhhhh.