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Love's Sacrifice
It started so suddenly...I don't even know how he saw it coming.
We were watching the Autozam battleship on the monitor. The Magic Knights were there, and so was I. Lafarga and Lantis were on patrol of the Castle. Caldina was alternating between helping Lafarga and keeping an eye on Ascot. Presea was still recovering from the forging process. And Clef....
He was there. Exhausted. He's been exhausted for a long time. But only a day ago he collapsed, after transporting us from further away than I've ever heard of anyone managing. A Rune God, a creature, and four people, and he brought us all back safely before fainting. He should have rested. But no, as soon as he woke he sent us all away and resumed his vigil over our world. And then the Autozam ship approached, and he called on us.
We knew they were going to attack as soon as we saw how close they were. But still, I don't know how he managed to detect that first shot. We were waiting to see what would happen, and then he gasped, and we saw the light. I barely realized what was happening before it came. But he was already moving, casting a shield spell. The Barrier Shield, one of his best. Then it hit. Light and noise and shaking, as bad or worse than any earth-shake we've had. And when it passed, he was on the ground again.
Even without being a mage, I know what he's done. With no time to plan, he's locked his body into the Castle. A spell so that any damage the Castle takes re-routes to him. And the spells he casts on himself surround the Castle. It's the only way he could get a Barrier Shield up that fast. But...that technique means he took the full force of that canon blast, so powerful I can barely imagine it. I don't even know how he survived it, let alone how he revives and gets to his feet.
The Knights go to fight, leaving me beside him. Umi I can see doesn't want to leave him, not like this. But they have their duty to fulfill, so she entrusts his welfare to me. I'm not Lantis or Caldina, or even Presea; I can't give him more power. All I can do is wrap my arms around his shoulders, and support him. He's already trembling. It scares me. And for the first time, I really grasp the situation. He's coming into this battle exhausted, in pain, already worn out with protecting us. He's already collapsed twice. I can see the fear on his face. His heart under his robes is pounding, his back under my other hand is tense. There's sweat on his face, and I can see him visibly gathering himself for the battle.
One of the Autozam combatants gets past the Magic Knights and begins firing on the barrier. I can see the instant the first shot hits, reflected in the tension of his body. His shoulders lock up and his face goes dead white, pain twisting across his expression. He's not exactly leaning into my support, but I can feel the weight of him. It scares me, how little weight I do feel. The mage fire burning through him has reduced so much of his reserves and his strength already.
His face twists again in pain, hands going white-knuckled on his staff. A glance upward at the screen shows me that the machine is firing a continuous barrage, focused at one spot. No wonder he's in agony. These might be less powerful than the shot that felled him, but still...the pressure he's under is immense.
Something happens, I don't know what. His eyes widen and he gasps, mingled shock, fear and new agony. I can't see anything on the screen, and I wonder what's happened. I see his expression change, the far-away look that means he's contacting someone. Lantis, most likely. Lantis is his second in command, if he even has such a thing. Then he breathes out two words. “That room...”
Even the brief connection with the swordsman has caused him greater pain, I can see it. And whatever he's feeling that made it necessary is worse. Sweat drenches his face almost instantly, agony filling the expression he's struggled till now to keep calm. Just seeing that expression makes me want to knock him out, to end his torment.
He gasps again, his body trembling under the force of whatever assault he's enduring. And then...he speaks to me. “Ferio...tell Lafarga...that monsters...have...entered...this Castle.”
Every word takes physical effort, and is wrung from him in suffering. The last words are more cries of pain than they are words. Seeing the torture he's undergoing, I can't even imagine how he's speaking at all.
Then the words sink in. Monsters in the castle. No wonder he's in pain. Even their presence outside gives him headaches, makes him sick. And inside... I can't help the question that rises to my lips. “You mean they actually found a way to get inside, past the barrier?” The monsters broke his barrier. I would have said that was impossible.
The tiniest of headshakes. “No. It's...”
The barrier fissures under the Autozam commander's fire. He cries out, doubling over as if someone struck him in the stomach. I catch him before his knees buckle, watching as he clutches his staff like a lifeline. Any tighter, and he'd break his own fingers. And I've never heard him cry out before. It's horrible to watch. I'd never want to see anyone in pain, but him...he's suffered so much already. To see him endure this torture...I'd do anything to end this for him. I wish I were a mage. Then I could bind myself to him, as he's bound himself to the castle, and take some of this away.
Then he gets himself under control, and pulls away from me. Looks me in the eye. “I'm...all right now.”
He's a terrible liar. It doesn't help that, in that instant, he lets his mind touch mine, to give me the information he can't find enough breath to relay in words. What happened that made Lantis contact him. The situation both inside and outside the walls. In that instant of contact, I can feel everything he feels, and it's far, far worse than I thought. For a second, it's as if my blood's on fire, someone's crushing my chest and abdomen, my head's about to explode. As if I'm going to throw up violently any second now. Then he locks the contact away from me, turns his pain away from me. I wish I could prevent it, but he doesn't give me the option. Just meets my eyes. “Tell the others of this, quickly.”
I don't want to leave him. He's trembling, white-faced, he can't even stand up straight. He's always been so reserved, particularly about his own troubles, to see him revealing this much pain...I don't want to leave him like this, suffering alone. In agony with no one even to hold him upright.
And then he uses the one argument he knows I won't ignore. “It's...essential that we do everything we can, to protect this land Emeraude loved so dearly.”
The invocation of my sister's name is a plea I can't refuse. He knows it too. He looks me in the eye, and I know he means it. Slowly, I let him go. He stands on his own two feet, though barely. But still...he's asking me to deliver a message he no longer has the strength to. Even more than my support, he needs me to do this.
I don't want to leave him, but I do. I leave at run, partially because it's urgent, and partially because I don't want to risk looking back at that tortured face. I know if I look back, I won't be able to leave him standing there.
The battle that follows is chaos. Monsters all over the place. Lafarga, Caldina, Ascot and I all wind up in the residential area. They need our protection. I wonder if he knew that, too, when he sent me away. Probably. It's just like him to sacrifice his own support and protection to protect others. I hope nothing attacks him. In his condition, he'll die. I hope that Presea's managed to get up. She can help him, a little. If she can get to him.
Then light, powerful, blinding light, and my sister's presence all around us. Then the monsters disintegrate, the evil that permeates the Castle vanishes, and we're all left standing there, wondering what happened. But only for a moment. There are pieces to pick up, after all.
Lantis contacts Lafarga, and after a few minutes, we figure out what needs to be done. Alcyone's cell is broken, and we might as well put her in a room. Whatever got through went right past all the shields we could muster.
Hikaru is back in the Castle, and not alone. We find her out cold, next to the commander of the Autozam ship, who's also unconscious. Looking at him, I want to kick the guy. Hard. Whatever reasons he has, all I can see is Clef's expression, the mask of agony and torment. All I can think of is the way he cried out when the barrier broke, and all the pain he's suffered at this man's hands. Fortunately, Fuu's already there, and her presence restrains my temper. She and Umi take Hikaru back to their rooms, while Lantis takes the guy. Eagle, he calls him. I don't care. As long as he's in a holding cell where he can't cause any more harm. And that leaves me free to return to him.
He's laying at the base of his chair when I arrive. I can tell he must have managed to sit down, at some point during his ordeal, but he fell forward when he lost consciousness. I pick him up, looking him over gently for bruises, wounds, cuts. None. Thank goodness. Not for the first time, I'm glad he wears such long baggy robes. The fabric probably cushioned his fall. He's still holding the staff though, and there are pain lines around his eyes. He's still far too pale as well. I pick up that small slender body, wondering what else it is about the expression that unnerves me. Then I understand. It's slight...but he's aged. He always looks like a ten year old kid. Now he looks like a teenager. Closer to my apparent age. And that tells me more than any words ever could about the trial he's undergone. So great that it's eaten into his life force.
Presea meets me at the door to his room, opens it while I carry him inside. Together, we lay him on the bed. It takes her coaxing to get the staff out of his hands, he's gripped it so tight for so long. But he finally lets go, and the two of us strip off the crown and the layers of robes, leaving him in his undershirt. Then we cover him with the blanket.
By then, the others are there, at least those of us still conscious. Lantis, Caldina, Ascot. Lafarga, Presea, and Umi, and Fuu. I want to tell Fuu to use her Winds of Healing spell, but I already know. This isn't something she can fix.
The land my sister loved? That's true. But as I stand I realize I'm looking at someone who loves Cephiro just as much, if not more. My sister gave her life for the country in a blaze of glory, yielding her position as the Pillar. But him...he's giving his life as well. Not in one flash-fire battle, but in inches. Each moment, each drop of strength and magic, wrenched from him in a painful struggle I know I could never endure. Where my sister gave her life, he's keeping his, holding on with both hands despite the cost. I look around the room, and realize I'm not the only one who sees it, the sacrifice he's making.
Finally, we all begin to leave. I don't think any of us want to leave him there, alone, but...there's nothing else we can do. He'll have to heal himself, if it's possible. And he prefers to rest alone. I know why. Presea told me. His rooms are shielded. They'll keep out the thoughts and feelings of the rest of us. He's incredibly sensitive and, at the moment, his natural shields are zero. But these shields were erected for just that reason, to protect him when he's vulnerable.
It isn't perfect of course. Bound as he is to the Castle, any disturbance will wake him. The thought leaves a sour taste in my mouth. The knowledge that he can't even rest peacefully. If the monsters break in, if Autozam or someone else attacks...he'll be wrenched from what little rest he's getting. I want to stay by his side, to help him. But my presence will only be an intrusion. And so, I leave with the rest of the Castle defenders, praying nothing will happen.
The doors close behind us, leaving him asleep. Silently, we all break away, going to our separate tasks. I say a prayer, to Cephiro, to my sister, to anyone and anything else that might be listening. A prayer that, at least for a while, no more will be asked of him.
He has suffered and sacrificed so much for love of this world. Surely...surely he can be granted a little peace.