Chapter Text
November 1st
The Beach House and Temple
Pearl didn’t mind water. She loved it, even. Pearl liked to sit on the window seat in the house and watch the rain, the delightful scent of a fresh-brewed mug of tea steaming away nearby, like incense. She liked to watch it trickle down the window, liked to watch it flow and trickle down streams. Even the once-wasteful-now-tasteful fountains in Empire City were able to tickle her fancy.
And therein lay the problem.
By nature of being a victim of a Jusenkyo Curse, Pearl was now a magnet for cold water, constantly only a splash away from being covered in wool and losing her capacity for speech beyond “Baa” and “Baaa.”
This misfortune had made itself known, the hard way, the first day after she’d been cursed, when she’d found out she was now effectively banned from her own room in the Temple.
Her room, which consisted entirely of gigantic columns of waterfalls, fountains, and pools.
The Temple door had fortunately still been open the first time she got splashed, and was dragged out of the pool by a cackling Amethyst and a smirking Garnet.
Well. I shall have none of that.
Pearl stood in front of the Temple door, her clenched fists at her sides. Her room, her armory, her Sanctum Santorum, was now off limits, and by no hand but her own.
Ranma did warn us, she mused. Still, we’re in this situation for the foreseeable future, and we have to make the best of it.
After the humiliation at the Halloween Party the previous night, today was a day for experimentation. A quest for knowledge. She glanced down at the human clothes she had clad herself in, her holy armor for today’s quest.
A rubber rain hat and slicker. Matching rubber pants. Big, buckety rubber boots that wouldn’t be out-of-place on a Ruby. Rubber gloves. And a pair of swim goggles for good measure.
The slick yet clingy surface of all the rubber made her skin crawl. Still, desperate times called for desperate measures.
Her Gem glowed under the rain hat as she activated the door. The Temple door slid open, revealing her room just beyond. Waterfalls and rivers cascaded in an immaculate, intricately-coordinated display, as high as a human skyscraper, far higher than the hill attached to the outside.
Her beloved student Connie had once called it “TARDIS Tech.” Pearl smiled at the memory, despite not understanding the reference.
Pearl took a single, confident stride forward into her room, the Temple door sliding shut behind her. She stood on the stone podium at the entryway, surveying what lay before her.
Slowly, she raised a single boot-clad foot, setting it gently on the surface of the water.
I’m in Gem mode right now, so I should be able to walk on the surface. Thank goodness for the adjustable weight of hard light!
The rain boot sank barely an inch, before stopping firmly. Pearl raised her foot again, and lowered it again. No change.
Gingerly, she stepped forward onto the water, letting her weight rest on the single boot on top of the water.
Excellent! Progress made!
Pearl smiled, satisfied. “Ha! The glass is half-full.” She took another step forward.
Her foot plunged underwater like a stone.
With a yelp, Pearl vanished below the surface with a sploosh.
Amethyst’s Room
“Antler… leg bone… weird-o femur one… arm bone… heh, Heads-Shoulders-Knees-and-Toes…”
From her spot curled up on an old mattress, Amethyst paused from sorting her collection of bone knives.
A sound, like a low, warbly scream, was quickly approaching.
Out of nowhere, a screaming sheep was rushed over the waterfall leading from the upper Temple, followed by an assortment of rubber clothes slopping over the edge after her.
Sheep-Pearl, her wool soaked and ruffled, washed up on the shore of Amethyst’s room, quite without dignity. She lay there on the dirt floor, her four hooves pointing straight up.
“Hey, Pearl.”
“Baa.”
“Didja forget to focus your chakra to the bottom of your feet?”
“Baa.”
November 2nd
Funland
Steven shook his head incredulously, a smile on his face. “I won’t lie, this is adorable.”
At his side, Sheena nodded rapidly, her hands barely covering the enormous grin on her face. Next to her, Mr. Harold Smiley stood, his arms crossed, his face matching his name.
Outside Funland, a small crowd of parents and enraptured children had gathered around the mass of pink fluff sitting primly on the dock. All around her, kids were smiling and cooing, gently petting any available surface. An oversized sweater and a pair of bellbottoms lay folded neatly on a bench nearby, a pair of spectacles atop it.
Sheep-Volleyball lazily opened her single eye. “Baaa,” she spoke lightly, the children erupting into squeals of delight.
Steven turned to Smiley. “How the heck did this happen?”
Smiley shrugged. “We had to close down the coaster for an hour for maintenance, and the kids were getting antsy. Ms. Ball here offered to keep them occupied until the coaster was ready.” He gestured to the pink sheep. “I don’t understand how half of this Gem stuff works, but whatever works, I guess.”
Steven nodded. “She seems to be having fun, at least.”
Sheena’s hands were slowly roaming all over her own face. “This is… so… freaking… cute…”
At Volleyball’s side, Onion rubbed a balloon on her wool, before releasing it. It stuck where it was with the smallest zap of static cling. Volleyball didn’t seem to notice.
Steven glanced at Smiley. “About how much longer until the coaster is fixed?”
Smiley stared deadpan at Steven. “Ten minutes ago.” He motioned to the kids. “They didn’t care. I should’ve opened a petting zoo.” Smiley paused. “Hey, Steven-“
“No.”
“Gotcha.”
November 3rd
Jasper and Volleyball’s Cave
Jasper plopped down heavily next to Amethyst. Both were breathing heavily. Amethyst raised a single fist. “Good match, sis.” Jasper wordlessly tapped her fist against Amethyst’s as the two recovered.
The clearing outside of Jasper’s furnished cave had been trashed by the brawl, dirt and dust disturbed by heavy footprints, impact craters, and the occasional felled tree.
The only untouched areas were the cave itself, and Volleyball’s flower garden, which was marked off by a set of tiny trellises. Despite the Quartz-vs-Quartz match that had just taken place, the garden was utterly pristine.
In the past few years, the cave that Jasper was once squatting in was practically homey. With the help of her Polycule, along with Steven and Amethyst, Jasper and Volleyball’s home-away-from-Homeworld had been bedecked with comfortable furniture, a thick curtain across the entrance, and a gigantic mass of pillows, cushions, blankets, and quilts in the center. The cave floor was covered in rugs of varying shapes and sizes. A space heater in the corner came in handy during the cold nights. A few strings of fairy lights were hung around the cave roof.
Outside of the cave, a gravel road led away from the cave, through the woods, eventually exiting onto the main road. Parked just outside the cave was a vintage, bright orange ’72 Maibatsu Barracuda, Jasper’s pride and joy. The muscle car, one of the few things Jasper permitted herself to like about Earth, had come about as a result of Sheena introducing her to some Hot Rodder friends of hers. One thing had led to another, and Jasper had a big, loud monument to most Earth males’ mid-life crisis sitting in her driveway.
Amethyst hooked the small cooler she had brought with her, opening it to reveal a pair of Gatorades. She fished out the orange one, holding it toward Jasper.
Jasper shot her a side-eye. “Don’t patronize me, twerp.”
Amethyst kept holding the drink out. “You’re allowed to like things, Jasper. Drink it.”
After a long pause, Jasper sighed, snatching the bottle from Amethyst’s hand. She punctured the cap with a single sharp claw, tilting her head back and squeezing the bottle, letting it squirt into her mouth. She moaned in irritation. “Why does that have to taste so good?”
Amethyst shrugged, tossing the entire other bottle down her gullet, gulping with satisfaction.
“So.” Jasper broached. “Pearl tells me that new human friend of yours is teaching combat to Gems.”
Amethyst nods. “Sure is. Ranma’s super awesome.”
“Hmph. The modern Quartzes really are in trouble if they’re getting lessons from a walking bag of meat.”
Amethyst elbowed her lightly. “Easy there. You’re dating one of those bags of meat.”
Jasper snorted. “Sheena’s different.”
A smirk from Amethyst. “Uh-huh. Sure.”
A long sigh from Jasper. “Ugh. Fine. I’m sorry I called your meatbag friend a meatbag.”
Amethyst patted Jasper on her muscular back. “I’ll take it.”
“Still. How does that even happen? Quartzes are supposed to be strong. Humans are squishy.”
“Would you believe she wiped the floor with the entire Quartz Fight Club?”
Jasper stared at her. “She did not.”
“Sure did. Ranma’s weirdly strong for a human.”
“Huh.” Jasper blinked. “I don’t know whether to be impressed at her, or embarrassed at the Quartzes.”
There was a long silence, the two Quartzes simply listening to the sounds of nature, which had been slowly creeping back toward Jasper’s cave, closer and closer each day.
“Amethyst, what the eff happened to me?”
Amethyst turned her head to look at her adoptive sister. “What do you mean?”
Jasper was staring into the blue sky. “I was the strongest of the Gempire. I was Pink Diamond’s favored warrior. I was Yellow Diamond’s problem-solver. I was the face of Homeworld’s Pride.”
Jasper motioned bitterly with her water bottle. “Now look at me. Yellow and Blue Diamond have abdicated the thrones. Pink Diamond snuffed herself out twice in a bout of interspecies fuckery. Who even knows where White Diamond is, anymore. Homeworld is run by a pair of Zircons, the Gempire is gone and everyone’s just okay with it, and I’ve returned to where I started: a dirty hole in a backwater planet that everyone cares about for some reason.”
Jasper paused for several seconds, before speaking again. “And… I love it. I’m romantically involved with a human and two Pearls, there’s nothing for me to fight except you, and I turn into a fluffball when I get wet, just for good measure. And I love it. Stars damn me for saying it.”
She sighed heavily, before plopping onto her back, a cloud of dust rising around her. Her hair was scattered below her, like a carpet. “I’m soft. I’ve gone soft, and I don’t even have the decency to be ashamed about it.”
Amethyst allowed herself to fall backward next to Jasper. “Nothin’ wrong with bein’ soft. I’m soft, and I’m still awesome.”
“It just doesn’t make sense. Millennia and millennia of progress for the Gempire, and it all gets stopped and turned around in like, five minutes. And I’m okay with it? Why? If me from three years ago saw me today, she’d beat me senseless.”
Amethyst shifted herself so she was leaning against Jasper, her head resting on Jasper’s stomach. “You gotta find your new normal, sis. No one said it was supposed to be easy.”
“No one said it’s supposed to be hard, either.”
Amethyst trailed a single chubby hand upward, her purple fingers gentle squeezing Jasper’s orange hand. “Lemme ask you this. If you had the chance, would you want to go back? Back to Homeworld, the Gempire, the way things used to be?”
Jasper stared up at the sky, pondering the question, thinking about
-trudging through the archway out of the stadium, her triumphant grin instantly falling the second the crowd couldn’t see her. If she’d looked over her shoulder, she’d have seen a dozen Gems scattered around the arena, their forms destabilized.
Her arm was stiff, and ached at her side. A large, ugly bruise had formed around her sunken, dead eyes.
Behind her, an unseen voice was yelling about the Beta Kindergarten Quartz That Could. Because she Could. Jasper Could. She Could because Had To, and she Had To because she Could. The picture of Homeworld’s Perfection.
“About time you finished up out there. You’d think you have all day.” Came Moss Agate’s sharp, clipped voice, not bothering to look up from her screen as she walked. Her green boots clicked on the tiles.
“No, my Agate.” Jasper said.
“Get to a destabilizing pod and get cleaned up, you look like some kind of bottom-feeder.”
“Yes, my Agate.”
“And be quick about it. You’re due for the new holo-posters in an hour. Bring your best smile.”
“Yes, my Agate.”
“And when you’re done with that, report to Yellow Diamond. You have a mission pending in Facet 2Q2-YKR. Get to it.”
“Yes, my Agate.” Jasper began to walk in the direction of the destabilizing pods, her claws digging into her palms at her sides.
A yell from behind her: “Walk faster!”
Homeworld’s Hero walked faster.
Jasper blinked. It was awfully humid out here. She was getting sweat in her eyes.
She turned her head from the sky, looking at the entrance to the cave. The curtain was drawn over the entrance, but she could already picture
-the pillows, soft beneath her back. The cave floor, a spot uncovered by rugs, cool beneath her bare foot. She stared up at the cave ceiling.
On her stomach, Volleyball’s head lay. Her pink buns had been unraveled, her long pink hair spilling around her. She breathed softly, a slight nasally tinge to it. Some part of Jasper’s brain registered that it was because her right nostril was likely as faulty as her right eye. Complications from the same injury?
On Jasper’s left, Sheena’s hand, rough and calloused, lay in Jasper’s outstretched claw, wrapped gently around her thumb. Trusting, faithful. Unafraid of the stories.
Pearl’s head was on Sheena’s chest, Sheena’s other arm wrapped around her to hold her close. A quilt had been drawn over the two of them. Pearl had looked Jasper in the eyes and smiled, insisting that she wouldn’t fall asleep. She was out in seconds.
The three of them. Jasper. A silent cave, save for the quiet hum of the space heater.
No more battles to fight. And yet Jasper would murder the world for any one of them.
Ironic, she mused.
“No.” She mumbled.
Amethyst smiled. “Awesome.”
Above them, thunder rumbled. Amethyst cracked her eye open. “Woah, that blew in quick.”
Even quicker was the sudden rattle of heavy rainfall, before Jasper could even process what was happening.
Moments later, a thoroughly waterlogged orange-cream sheep waddled into her cave. Fallen leaves and grass stuck to her wool. Amethyst slid through the curtain after her, wincing sympathetically. “So, uh… don’t suppose you guys got running hot water and didn’t tell me?”
“Baa.”
I take it baa-ck. This planet sucks.
November 4th
Little Homeworld’s Forge
The worst thing about being a sheep, Pearl had decided, was the clicking.
Click-click-click-clickclick-cl-click-clickclick-cl-cl-cl-cl-click-click
As a naturally graceful Gem, Pearl had walked with quiet, gentle footfalls her entire 10,000-some-odd years of existence. Yes, it was unfortunately part of the base programming for Pearls, but truth be told, Pearl liked to walk silently. It let her feel more precise, more in control.
Fun Fact: it was impossible to walk silently on a hard floor with four hooves.
Click-clack-clickclick-click-cl-cl-click-click-click-click
Her silent, measured steps had turned into an awful, constantly-shifting staccato, a mismatched clicking beat that her brain would desperately try to categorize into a rhythm. This would inevitably lead to her tripping over her own hooves.
Click-click-cl-cl-cl-click-click-click-click-clickclickclickclickCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK-
Bismuth turned around, drawn by the sound, to see an incredibly angry Sheep-Pearl glaring directly at her cute lil black hooves as she rapidly stomped in place.
“Uhhh… Pearl? You okay?”
The pointy-wooled sheep glared directly at Bismuth, before letting out a defeated “Baaaaa...” She sank to her stomach on the cool floor of Little Homeworld’s mini-forge, her tiny hooves sprawled in front of and behind her. Bismuth could almost see a tiny, irritated cloud of smoke rising from her head.
Bismuth sighed, before easing herself down into a seated position next to Sheep-Pearl. The sheep-shaped Gem grumbled, before lifting her head and laying it on Bismuth’s muscular lap. “Baa.”
Bismuth nodded. “I hear ya. Sorry Snowflake accidentally froze the pipes. You sure you don’t want me to boil some water the hard way?”
“Baa-Baa.” One hoof tapped twice on the floor for No.
“Ah.” Bismuth nodded understandingly. “You’re just waiting out of spite at this point, aren’t you?”
“Baa.” One hoof-tap for Yes.
Bismuth raised a hand, gently running her rough palm over the wool on the back of Sheep-Pearl’s neck. Pearl stiffened briefly, before relaxing further into Bismith’s leg. “Baa?”
Bismuth’s hand froze. “Is this okay?”
A pause.
Then…
Tap.
With a warm smile, Bismuth resumed stroking Pearl’s wool. She hummed contentedly.
It’s so soft. I knew wool was soft already, but this is somehow even softer! How do you do it, Pearl?
Sheep-Pearl smiled, rubbing her head deeper into Bismuth’s lap. The blacksmith’s giant hands were so warm, so comforting. She could easily fall asleep like this.
Bismuth smiled. “Y’know what else might make you feel better?”
“Baa?”
“Wool, I know ewe like it when I ram some good ol’ wordplay into the conversation just through shear force of will. It woold be a calambity if I didn’t!”
In her lap, Sheep-Pearl snickered some rough laughter, grinning toothily. Bismuth grinned right back, encouraged.
“I know it would definitely behoof me to throw out some jokes, even if ewe haven’t herd them before. The crowd fleece the scene before my pun expertise! After all, I’m an expert in my field!”
Sheep-Pearl was actively laughing Baa-ha-ha-ha’s in Bismuth’s lap at this point.
Alright, Bismuth, big finish!
“Well, since you’re officially baaside yourself, and I don’t have a single ruminant of pride left in me, I guess I’ll stop. At least now I know not to be sheepish about the barnyard puns.”
From across the forge: “Manure making some awful jokes today. Cud you please stop?”
Bismuth glanced up at Purple Jasper, who had been modeling a heavy set of armor as Bismuth glanced it over for faults. Bismuth waved a hand. “Ah, poo on you. I know I’m good.”
As if to punctuate it, Sheep-Pearl raised her head one last time, blowing a raspberry in Purple’s direction. Purple crossed her eyes, blowing one right back.
Bismuth paused. “Actually, thinking about it, isn’t it pasture time to head to Ranma’s defense course?”
Purple’s eyes widened as she realized the time. She bolted from the forge with a cacophony of clanks.
Bismuth called after her. “Hey, wait! You forgot to… take off… the armor.” She sighed. “Long gone.” A glance down. “You doing okay-“
In her lap, Sheep-Pearl’s eyes had drifted closed, and she was breathing softly. Bismuth bit her knuckle, squealing softly with delight.
hooooooh stars that’s so effing cute
Smiling, Bismuth gingerly got comfortable, settling in for the next few hours until Pearl woke up. “Guess I live down here, now.”
As Pearl snoozed, Bismuth gently ran her thumb over the rough underside of one of Pearl’s hooves, and the smooth, hard front.
Somehow, even in sheep form, Pearl was just so beautiful.
November 5th
Grinning, Spinel slapped the side of the Sun Incinerator with a CLONG-CLONG. “Dis bad boy can fit so many misfit space pirates in it.”
Volleyball slid her spectacles down her nose, sizing up the spacecraft. “She’s a gorgeous vessel, Spinel!”
Spinel hooked her thumbs into her jacket’s lapels as she strode around the parked spaceship atop Spacetries. “Yeh, Lars is pretty proud of it. So was Emerald, but she hasn’t touched this baby in years.”
Volleyball rolled her eye as she followed Spinel toward the front. “I still don’t understand how Fleet Commander Emerald hasn’t backed down yet. The Diamonds aren’t even backing her anymore.”
Spinel snorted. “When Emerald was formed in the ground, I’m pretty sure someone forgot to put in the Quit. Luckily, she can’t catch the fastest ship in the galaxy! And even if she could…”
Spinel pointed a thumb at the enormous cannon on the front of the ship. “She’d have to deal with the Wonderful Rambo Machine here! Lars had the gunsmith Bismuths of Nova-Archelon-72 install it.”
The Wonderful Rambo Machine was a gigantic multi-barrel revolving laser cannon, each barrel big enough to fit in. It was currently disconnected from the main body of the ship, attached only by a pair of brackets. The business end was pointed up at a 45 degree angle, the other end resting on the ground.
Volleyball stood on her tiptoes, sliding her spectacles down to peer down into the barrel. “And you’re sure this is safe to have here?”
Spinel nodded, twirling her floppy pilot’s hat around one finger. “Yeh, the ship’s in park, and there’s no one at the controls. Lars wanted to make sure that it couldn’t go off and level the shops across the street.” Spinel laughed nervously. “I’m, uh. I’m not allowed. To fire the cannons. Anymore.”
As if on cue, as Volleyball gazed down the barrel, her spectacles slid from her face. As she grabbed for them in midair, they bounced off one set of fingers, then the other, before falling down the barrel of the gun with a muted clink.
A deep, synthesized seemed to come from nowhere. “WEAPON TAMPERING DETECTED. ACTIVATING PERIMETER DEFENSES. HAVE A NICE DAY.”
Volleyball had just enough time to see the depths of the Wonderful Rambo Machine glow a bright orange before the gun discharged with a single deafening KA-PEW.
Spinel squinted against the flash as her vision adjusted, two fingers wedged deeply into her ears. The Wonderful Rambo Machine’s glow dimmed as it began to cool, the perimeter defenses deactivating.
Far in the distance, high above the water, she could see a tiny pink blur tumbling over and over, an oscillating scream just barely audible before it landed far out to sea with a splash.
Spinel winced. “Awwww, nooooo… not again… oh, I’m so grounded…”
A mile out to sea, a very waterlogged pink sheep slowly sank to the bottom, a stream of bubbles drifting after her, until she settled on the ocean floor.
Sheep-Volleyball opened her single eye, glancing around at her surroundings.
A muffled “Baa” was hidden among a cacophony of bubbles coming from her mouth.
With a watery sigh, she hauled herself to her hooves, and began the long, arduous task of hauling 150 pounds of soaked wool back to shore.
November 6th
The Lighthouse
“Ronaldo’s Truth-Seekin’ Log Date: November… fifth I think? I dunno. Point is, I have singlehandedly captured one of Beach City’s many cryptids!”
With a flourish, Ronaldo spun 180 degrees, continuing to pace atop the cliff. “At o-2:47 p.m.-hours today, an enormous orange blur shot through Beach City! Like some kind of demented speedster! In their wake, they viciously left an enormous slipstream, along with a reversed magnetic field! Countless metal objects throughout Beach City were telekinetically pulled along after the beast, like an Orange Magnetic Sonic the Hedgehog!”
Turning to face the Lighthouse. “But now, thanks to the beast’s own hubris, I have caught it! I shall call it the Great Mag-naldo-Beast! As soon as the local news returns my calls, I will be touring the media circuits, showing one and all the terror and majesty of the-“
Ronaldo’s ramblings were cut off by a sudden, steady stream of water. He sputtered, dropping his tape recorder into a muddy puddle.
Connie stared dully at him, cocking the super-soaker dramatically. At her side, Steven sighed. “No, Ronaldo, still not a Cryptid. Just another Gem. Like the last… eight ones.”
Ronaldo’s eyes widened. “B-b-but Steven-“
The sky darkened behind Ronaldo as something massive blotted out the sun. Ronaldo turned, his eyes wide, already knowing and fearing what he’d see.
There Garnet stood, her face unreadable behind her glasses, simply staring silently in judgement, like an angry God.
In a very small voice, Ronaldo whimpered. “Understood. Gonna leave now. Have a lovely day, ma’am.” He turned tail, and began to sprint down the hill toward town.
Steven stepped toward the outside of the Lighthouse, observing the ridiculous scene before him.
Plastered upside-down against the wall was a very puffy orange sheep, her eyes seething with rage. Stuck to her wool were several loose items from around town- a few balloons from Funland, someone’s missing sock, a trash can lid, an empty tin can, several Styrofoam packing peanuts, and Cat Steven, meowing confusedly.
“Hi Jasper. You okay?”
”Baaaaaa.”
“Okay, that’s a no.”
Connie reached for the empty can. There was an audible snap as a crackle of electricity leapt to Connie’s hand. “Ouch!”
Steven pulled his phone from his pocket, selecting a number from the call log.
“Hey again, Ranma. We found her.”
“Okay, good!” Came Ranma’s voice over the speaker. “Sorry about this, Steven. I promise it won’t happen again.”
“Please, actually? I’m fine with the Fight Club, and I’m fine with you guys sparring, just please don’t let this stuff spill out into the streets. People might get hurt.”
“Right, right, still operating off Nerima logic. Sorry.”
Connie cocked an eyebrow. “Jasper, did you attack Ranma?”
Sheep-Jasper stiffly shook her head, glaring at Connie upside-down. “Baa.”
“No, no, nothing like that, Connie!” Ranma’s voice chimed in. “She wanted to see what I was made of, since I wiped the floor with the Quartzes. An’ to be fair, I wanted to fight her too. We sparred, water got splashed, one thing led to another…”
Steven looked Sheep-Jasper in the eyes. “What did we learn today?”
“Baa.”
“Did we learn not to do the Quartz Spin when you’re in sheep mode?”
“Baa.”
“Did we learn not to just rocket yourself off into the distance while Quartz Spinning?”
“Baa.”
“Did we learn that wool causes static cling, and that Gem powers like, oh say, the Quartz Spin, just make the static worse?”
“Baa.” Jasper baa’d darkly.
“Okay, good.” Steven nodded, satisfied. “Garnet, do you mind-“
Garnet slid her hands between Jasper’s wool and the wall, yanking hard. With a loud crackle, Jasper’s be-staticked form released itself from the wall. The electricity flowing through her body, Garnet flicked the ball of lighting high into the sky like a high-powered coin flip. Far in the distance, thunder rumbled.
Sheep-Jasper flung over her shoulder, Garnet began to stride down the hill. “Come on. Let’s go get you some hot water.”
Behind her, Steven and Connie barely held in their laughter at the sight of Garnet’s afro suddenly sticking straight out in every direction.
November 7th
Sheena Marquez-Miyuki’s Home
The front porch’s floorboards creaked under Sheena’s bare feet as she stepped outside. The cold morning air made her shiver as she wrapped her bathrobe around her. Green flannel, just like her favorite shirt.
In her hand, a mug filled with that sweet, sweet bean juice. Painted roughly on the side were the words “Cis Tears”.
She eased down into a chair on the porch, looking out at the morning. Tucked deep in the woods outside of Beach City, Sheena’s house was an almost impossibly comfy one-story bungalow. A long gravel driveway led up the hill to the main road. To the side, a garage containing her pickup, her motorcycle parked next to it in a spot of honor.
This was the house Sheena had lived in her entire life. When her parents had retired to Florida Island, they had left her their house, now hers.
Flanking the entrance to the porch, two small Progress Pride Flags fluttered in the breeze.
Sheena sighed contentedly, leaning her head back as she drained her mug. This was the life.
From inside the house behind her, she heard the interior door to the bedroom creak open. Gotta fix that hinge again, she mused to herself. She smiled warmly at the sets of approaching footsteps. These days, she very rarely slept alone.
Pearl lightly pushed the screen door open with the tips of her fingers. She had already shifted into her usual day clothes, save for her jacket. Sheena smiled as she admired her bare shoulders, lithe yet built.
Pearl traced a hand down the back of Sheena’s neck, leaning in to kiss her girlfriend softly on the lips. “Good morning, darling.” She slid into another porch chair. Next to it was the teal case containing her guitar. She ran a hand down the rough exterior, idly considering pulling it out later.
The screen door opened again as Jasper stepped outside, the boards thumping under her massive frame. She was still clad in her sleep Appearance Modifiers, a tank top and enormous sweatpants. In one hand, a plate with a used coffee filter and the grounds from Sheena’s percolator, along with a spoon.
Clinging to Jasper’s shoulders like a pink monkey was Volleyball, her eye barely open. Her face was half-buried in Jasper’s voluminous locks. She hummed tunelessly, still half-asleep. The simple pink jammies Sheena had bought her rode up her ankles, which were locked around Jasper’s midsection.
“Blerg.” Jasper grumbled as she sat down on the edge of the porch. She shoveled a spoonful of coffee grounds into her mouth, chewing quietly.
Sheena smiled as she stood, leaning over to kiss Jasper on the cheek. “Good morning, you two.”
“It is not morning.” Volleyball mumbled sourly.
A smirk from Sheena. “Ah, c’mon Peeps, it can’t be that ba-a-a-a-a-d.”
Volleyball laughed blearily as Jasper rolled her eyes. Volleyball slid off of Jasper’s shoulders, gently plopping onto her butt. She reached up, wrapped her thin fingers around Jasper’s massive shoulders, and gently began to knead the tension out of them. Jasper sighed, leaning backward into Volleyball’s grasp.
“Sorry you had a bad time yesterday, hon.” Volleyball murmured as she massaged Jasper’s shoulders.
Jasper sighed. “Can’t have been worse than yours, you had to walk back underwater.” She delicately took one of Volleyball’s hands, and kissed it softly. “It’s not the whole sheep-thing, it’s the fact that I’m so… weak in sheep mode.”
Sheena shrugged. “Nothin’ wrong with being weak.”
Volleyball nodded. “I’m weak, and you love me.”
“You hush.” Jasper mumbled. “You’re one of my three favorite people, that counts as strength. ‘Sides, at least you like being that fluffy.”
Pearl hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe we just need to find you a new way of looking at it.”
Raising an eyebrow, Jasper turned to look at her girlfriend. “Like how?”
Eyes closed, Sheena smirked. “You’re not weak, you’re just a bottom.”
Sheena calmly took a sip of her coffee as Jasper turned ruby-red. Her eyes wide, Jasper leapt to her feet. “I’M A WHAT?!!?”
Sheena, Pearl, and Volleyball quickly shared a mischievous look.
Pearl leaned back in her chair. “You do have to admit, dear, you’ve become significantly more… submissive? Since we got cursed?” She punctuated this sentence with a half-lidded gaze.
Jasper, whose knees were Absolutely Not trembling even slightly at that Look, began to sputter with indignation.
Volleyball nodded sagely. “It’s true. All we have to do is tell you how adorable you are…”
Jasper’s absence of a heart went pitter-pat in her chest at the A-word.
Sheena grinned ear-to-ear. “And you just fall to pieces.”
Jasper was somehow turning even redder.
Sheena leaned back, gesturing smugly. “See? Total bottom.”
“A sub.” Pearl chimed in.
“An outright Pillow Princess, even.” Volleyball punctuated.
That did it.
Jasper, growling incoherently, plucked Sheena from her seated position. Sheena, cackling with laughter, was roughly placed on her feet, before Jasper thrust a single clawed hand past her head, impacting the outer wall of Sheena’s cabin. Jasper leaned in toward her tall girlfriend, snarling “Could a bottom do this?”
“Ah! The kabedon!” Sheena snarked, putting a French pronunciation on the Japanese word. “How ever shall we top this?” She glanced past Jasper’s shoulder, smirking at the sudden glow from behind her.
Jasper turned to look-
-nani-
-and was promptly frozen in place as a hand the size of her head pressed against the wall behind her. Sheena slid out of the way, grinning.
Royal Pearl, all 12 feet of her, gave Jasper what she was pretty sure was a wink. She was kneeling to fit under the porch’s roof. The tip of her crown gently dragged against the wood. She leaned in, filling Jasper’s nose with the scent of flowers. “Aww, how sweet. You think you can beat me?”
Despite herself, Jasper found herself grinning enormously at this impromptu escalating lesbian-off. She winked at Royal Pearl. “I might be able to come up with something… Pearl?”
Royal Pearl lit up again as she split into her components. Pearl could only be seen for a brief few seconds as she effortlessly twirled into Jasper’s waiting arms. Carrying Pearl bridal style, Jasper leapt from the porch with a boisterous laugh.
That laugh became far more booming as Tangerine Quartz landed on the ground, shaking the property. A starry-eyed Volleyball stepped backward, next to an equally starry-eyed Sheena. Both had enormous grins on their faces as they held hands in anticipation.
Taking a knee and leaning far down, Tangerine pushed a hand the size of a small car into the porch, carefully laying it against the wall. It barely fit, but the effect was enough.
Tangerine smiled, exposing her mouth full of fangs. Hot breath blew into the porch. “You sweet, sweet little darlings! I think I’ve won this one, thank you very much.”
Volleyball slowly turned her head to look Sheena in the eye. Sheena, catching her gaze, found her eyes widening. “Don’t. Even. Think about it.”
Volleyball, smiling impishly, slid her hand upward, wrapping it around a single traffic cone-sized claw. “Oopsie!” With a light, tinkly laugh, Volleyball lit up, along with Tangerine Quartz.
Sheena stepped forward, her eyes shining at this rare sight. A wind began to blow from the sheer power of the fusion taking shape before her. Grinning, Sheena ran for the end of the porch, leaping off, sprinting through the wet grass in her bare feet. Her bathrobe fluttered behind her as she ran for the back of the house.
A fifth, pink eye opened in the center between Tangerine’s four eyes.
Her jacket reemerged as a cape, as long as the house was wide.
An extra pair of arms extended from her midsection, for a total of six.
Her height increased, from two stories to three.
Double-Terminated Tangerine Quartz (DT for short) chuckled, a sound like rolling thunder, like a great and terrible goddess come to bring devastation and destruction upon the land. She glanced herself over, striped with orange and pink. “Ah… perfection.”
Behind the house, Sheena huddled low, her back against the wall. She couldn’t stop herself from giggling with anticipation at what was coming next.
The ground quaked as she saw a pair of hands lay themselves flat on the ground, far to the left of the house. Sheena was quietly grateful that her home was isolated. No neighbors to bother.
An enormous hand the size of a car descended from the sky, impacting the ground next to her. The sky was blotted out as DT loomed overhead, kabedon-ing Sheena’s entire house effortlessly.
DT’s smile was like a canyon. “Gotcha, darling.”
Grinning up at them, Sheena whipped out the object tucked into her armpit, pointing the closed nozzle directly up at them. DT’s eyes widened as two of their eyes tracked the long green garden hose down from Sheena’s hand, winding through the grass, and up to the spigot on the side of the house, dripping loose water droplets.
Sheena smirked. “Booyah.” She squeezed the trigger on the nozzle.
DT had just enough time to burble a mouthful of water before the sound of baa-ing filled Sheena’s ears. Her eyes closed against the water falling back down on her face, Sheena laughed boisterously. She opened her eyes, and froze where she was.
What she had been expecting was that the sudden splashing would have destabilized the Fusion, causing her three girlfriends to tumble out into three wet wads of wool.
What she hadn’t been expecting was a three-story tall sheep, striped a fluffy pink and orange, to stare back down at her with many eyes. Multiple sets of long black legs ending with hooves the size of barrels dangled before it, the wooly giant sprawled over the roof of her house.
“BAA?”
Sheena, her eyes the size of plates, began to make an odd squealing noise in the back of her mouth.
Behind the counter of Hot To Tot, Beach City’s only Tater Tot-based food truck, Peedee Fryman paused where he was.
On the counter, the cup of soda he had been refreshing himself with was… rippling. Not in rhythmic pulses, but constantly, as if an earthquake were just beginning.
He glanced up, craning his head out of the window of the food truck.
An enormous six-legged sheep was stampeding- no, prancing- down the beach, kicking up a column of sand behind it.
Atop its head, a pink-haired woman in a bathrobe laughed maniacally. “YES! YES! FORWARD, MY GENTLE GIANT! FORWARD!”
Peedee rolled his eyes, before placing the laminated OUT TO LUNCH sign in the window, and pulling the cheap curtain closed.