Archive of Our Own ^beta

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Mx. Queen,

As I am sure you have heard, there has been a recent outbreak of a novel coronavirus causing COVID-19. In response to this, yesterday the government issued a national lockdown which, unfortunately, has caused a delay in your shuttle home. We are working as fast as we can to make alternative arrangements but, in the meantime, I have been assigned as your liaison as I will be remaining on site 24/7 in order to continue my collaboration with the ISS.

I’m sorry for the trouble that this has caused you,

Felicity Smoak, MSc. MSc.

She/Her/They

NASA Computing Specialist

EDT 20:34, 10/28/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Miss Smoak,

While I am, of course, disappointed that my return home has been delayed, I completely understand that adjustments must be made in light of these exceptional circumstances. Honestly, the biggest struggle that I will have is having nothing to do up here while I wait for my return. My assignment has been complete.

I don’t wish to be a burden but you wouldn’t happen to know of any projects that need an extra pair of hands would you?

I hope that you’re as safe as can be down there,

Oliver Queen

He/Him/They

NASA Astronaut

EDT 21:01, 10/28/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Mr Queen,

Thank you for your understanding, you’ve been much easier to deal with than one of the other guys. As for having something to do, it just so happens that my own project has been running a little slower than I had been hoping. It’s being run by John Diggle, do you know him? He’s also going to be on your transport home eventually which means that we really need to get it done soon. If you wanted to help out, I would be eternally in your debt.

Thank you for your concern, I’m about as safe as can be here in a completely locked down, sterile facility but it’s nice of you to ask nonetheless.

And please, call me Felicity. Miss Smoak makes me feel like my mother and believe me, you would NOT want that,

Felicity Smoak, MSc. MSc.

She/Her/They

NASA Computing Specialist

EDT 10:58, 10/29/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Felicity,

If I’m going to be calling you Felicity, please call me Oliver. Mr. Queen was my father. And I’m curious, why would I not want your mother to be in charge of this?

You would really let me work on your project? Even though I know nothing about it? If so, that would completely save me. I can’t stand sitting around with nothing to do.

Who is it causing you trouble? I’m guessing that you’re communicating with those of us who are supposed to be heading home soon which would be myself, John (I know him very well) and Ramirez. Actually, I don’t even need to ask. I should have guessed Ramirez. Do you want me to have a word with him?

I’m happy to hear that you’re safe,

Oliver Queen

He/Him/They

NASA Astronaut

EDT 11:23, 10/29/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Oliver,

I can’t believe I told you that! Please don’t say anything to Mr. Ramirez. That was so unprofessional of me, I’m so sorry, I really can’t apologise enough.

If you don’t mind working with me still (and if you do I’m sure I can find you an alternative liaison) then just report to John tomorrow morning. We’re working on installing some hardware for the programmes I have been developing and there have been some technical difficulties in getting the outdated coding on the ISS to sync up with mine and also in the structure on the servers. If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know one another?

Please just trust me on my mother. She would be a nightmare. And I couldn’t help but notice the use of was when you spoke of your father. I’m sorry for your loss,

Felicity Smoak, MSc. MSc.

She/Her/They

NASA Computing Specialist

EDT 16:46, 10/29/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Felicity,

Please don’t worry about it, you don’t need to apologise. If you don’t want me to say anything to Ramirez then I won’t but let the record show that I want to. He’s a grade A dick. And it wouldn’t be unprofessional to complain about an annoyance at your job to a friend would it? So maybe we can be friends and then it’s all fine?

I would love to work with you. I should warn you that I’m not the best with computers but I know enough to get by so hopefully can be of some use, even if it’s just as the muscle.

John and I served in the marines together before we signed on to NASA. Five years touring, he was my CO. And we also both live in Starling so when we got back stateside we stayed close and trained together for this too.

I’m curious about your mother now, I want to know more.

And please don’t apologise about my father, it was over a decade ago now and as much as the loss hurts, it pushed me into becoming a better man. You would not have liked the Oliver from 2007 before he enlisted.

Oliver Queen

He/Him/They

NASA Astronaut

EDT 19:15, 10/29/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Oliver,

Thank you so much. I think I would like to have you as a friend, you’re nice to me. :)

I know that you’re probably reporting to John around about now, I hope that you’re able to find a role to keep you suitably occupied until we can bring you home.

You live in Starling? No way! I live in Starling when I’m not here too, John and I met when he was working security for my employer. Aren’t the twins just the cutest?

Ugh, please don’t ask about my mother! She’s… my mother. She’s… interesting. To say the least. I’m sure you couldn’t have been that bad before enlisting, right?

Felicity Smoak, MSc. MSc.

She/Her/They

NASA Computing Specialist

EDT 09:00, 10/30/18

*************************

Felicity hits send on the message, a warm feeling buzzing inside her. She realises that she likes Oliver. She likes him a lot, from his messages. He is so kind and considerate to her, much better than Rene freaking Ramirez, who has been nothing but rude to her since she informed him that a pandemic she had nothing to do with is going to delay his return home. He has been complaining a lot about how his daughter needs him and she should get her act together and sort out his shuttle home. Like she has any control over that.

Of course she feels bad that he is unable to go back to his daughter, she feels bad for anybody separated from their family for whatever reason that might be, but John has a wife and twin four year olds to get home to. And he already missed their birthday because he has been up there helping out Felicity, and yet he has not complained once. And Oliver, a complete stranger up until now has also been understanding. She has enough on her plate right now without dealing with a whiny adult who should know better.

Her project is running slow, which frustrates her no end as she knows that if she were up there then she could have fixed it in no time but because she cannot see the problem, it is slow going. And on top of that, she is now living in NASA bunks in a huge building with only a few dozen people left in it and she has to be involved in the coordination of the astronaut relief effort because she is the only one with a team member up there who is still on site.

It is just a lot, especially with her mom ringing up every five minutes to check that she is still safe. Which is sweet, but just adds to the ‘a lot’ that she is dealing with and is very unnecessary considering that Felicity is maybe one of the safest people on the planet right now.

But Oliver’s messages are quickly becoming a respite for Felicity. There is still a level of formality in them, they have only been talking for a few days after all, but she can already feel herself becoming more comfortable with him, and it is just refreshing to hear from somebody new who is so nice to her. Not many people are nice to her. They think that she is weird because of her obsession with computers and her job and her babbles. What would Oliver think of her if he heard her babble?

Well, that is the beauty of emails. She can edit out her babbles before they scare him off. Except, apparently, her annoyance at Ramirez. Even emails were not enough for her to keep that to herself.

*************************

With Oliver’s help, they make far better progress in the next week than she could ever have hoped to. Not only do they get up to her required speeds, but they actually get faster which means that they are now catching up rather than just barely keeping their heads above the water. It would seem that he downplayed his technical prowess. She finally has hope that they will be done by the time they are able to bring Oliver and John home.

Getting them home is, however, a whole different issue. For as much progress as she has made on her progress, she has hit a brick wall in getting them home. She and the others are doing everything that they can to convince the government that keeping the three men who should have been coming home in a week up there is nonsensical but they are not having it.

Not only will leaving them lead to a drain on the ISS’s limited resources, but it will also keep them away from home for longer than they have to. Nobody new has been up there in months. If there were any cases of the virus up there, somebody would have been symptomatic by now and nobody has been. All that bringing them home will do is bring healthy people into an infected world, it will not bring any more of the infection into the US. And whilst that is not the best thing ever, it is preferable to leaving them up there. They will just have to go straight into lockdown to stop themselves from getting sick.

And even though Felicity has reiterated these points over and over, the government is not having it and she cannot get them home. She feels awful about it.

Especially since she learnt that Oliver also has a child waiting for him at home. William. Oliver feels eternally guilty for leaving his son behind because he had only been his guardian for a year before leaving has now been gone for five months. But he had already signed his contract and done years of training before getting William so his hands were tied. He speaks to William every day. The boy is being cared for by Oliver’s sister and mother and old housemaid but Oliver is desperate to get home to them. He is very quiet about that fact with Felicity because he does not want to add stress to her life. But she can just tell.

He also finally manages to get her to talk about her mother and she thinks that he might like Donna more than he likes her from his reactions to her stories. He seems delighted. It annoys Felicity no end, and he has caught on to that and enjoys teasing her about it as much as he can. They talk about everything, really. From their families to their childhoods to their differing levels of success in college.

Felicity realises that Oliver was right, she and a younger Oliver – Ollie – would not have been good friends. In fact, Felicity spent most of her teens loathing people like him for being cruel to her and using their money as an excuse to get away with things. She saw it all the time in casinos her mother worked in.

She learns that his father died in a boating accident eleven years ago, when he was twenty-two and that he had barely survived. After his recovery, his mother had pushed him to take over the family company and he had refused, knowing that it was not something he wanted. Instead, he ran to the army and joined the marines where he met and served under John Diggle. After five years touring, both of them had retired and after a short time with John working personal security and Oliver taking the time to reconnect with his family – particularly his suddenly grown up sister, they decided to take up a job offer from NASA.

Felicity remembers that. She remembers John coming into work one day, four years ago, and telling her that he was going to work for NASA. One year after, Felicity had a contract signed for a transfer from QC – which she now knows is actually Oliver’s family’s company – to NASA and John had started his training for her mission. Oliver, still not wanting anything to do with the company, had signed on for another project going up at the same time.

*************************

Oliver thinks that Felicity is fascinating. Everything about her is fascinating really, from her ability to babble at him even via email to her genuine thrill at everything that they are doing. He loves her stories about her mom and her obvious embarrassment. She’s even been understanding about his troubled past.

She teases him about his playboy years and poor decision making, but she also applauds him for the decisions that he has made since. She says that he is brave. He is not sure whether he agrees with that or not. He is also not sure whether he agrees with her when she says he did a good thing in taking William in. How can it be a good thing when it was the only thing to do? Or at least the only right thing to do. Leaving his son was not an option at the time and it may have been hard, but it has had its rewards.

Oliver had not even known William existed until a year and a half before he got custody. When he learnt about his son’s existence in twenty-sixteen, he had been shocked. He had mourned his child. When Samantha told him she lost him, he had cried in secret every night for months because he felt like he had no right to grieve. And then to find out that not only was his son alive but he had missed out on the first decade of his life had been devastating. At first he had been mad at Samantha, but when she showed him the cheque he had turned most of that fury on his mother, understanding why Samantha did what she did even if he did not like or agree with it.

The confrontation with his mother had been awful and they did not talk for an entire year as Oliver threw himself into training and the biweekly two hour visits Samantha permitted him. Six months into that, Thea, John and Lyla had intervened and convinced him that he should fight for his right to his son. To begin with, he had protested, not wanting to shake up his son’s life more than necessary but when Thea pointed out to him that it had been six months and Samantha still refused not only to let anyone other than Oliver meet William but also to tell William that Oliver is his father, he had agreed. Thea deserved a chance to get to know her nephew. And his son deserved a chance to know that he has a father and aunt who love him, even if that father is Oliver Queen.

Six months into the legal battle, Moira had come back into Oliver’s life, all guns blazing and Samantha and Oliver finally reached a custody agreement. Oliver had even started to heal his relationship with his mother. And then, just as they were settling into a routine, a man Oliver had served with had escaped from prison and, in a vengeful rage, went after William and Samantha died protecting their son. Adrian then killed himself the minute that Oliver arrived and removed William from the scene.

*************************

Oliver misses William every second of every day and he has been dreaming of going home since he got up here. William had only just started to trust him when he went away, going home and rebuilding is going to be so difficult, even if the two of them have spoken every single day.

But when he is talking to Felicity, it all feels better. It does not make him forget William or the pain of being away from him. Not in the slightest. But she makes him hopeful. She makes him believe that he can make it work. That he can go home and bond with his son and raise him well. And if she can do that for him over an email, he can only dream of what she could do in person with her sunshine personality and loving nature.

He dreams of meeting her. But mostly of hearing her voice. He wants nothing more, which is why he has been building the courage to ask her to video call him. Then he would get to see her and hear her all at once and he cannot imagine anything that could be much better right now.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Wait he called you his lightning rod? On the first date? I’m not shocked that you didn’t have a second one. That’s somehow both arrogant and creepy all at once.

My worst first date was definitely with this girl who showed up and then got this huge sour pout right from the get go and when I asked her what was wrong she said she was really upset because I hadn’t gifted her diamonds when I picked her up and then she outright asked me for cash to the value of a diamond necklace to make up for it.

If you want, I’ll tell you about the time a girl known only as Crazy Carrie took a fancy to me? Tonight? We could video call?

I’d really like it if you would,

Not-A-Lightning-Rod

EST 16:16, 11/05/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SHE ASKED YOU FOR MONEY??? That’s way worse than my creepy lightning rod date. WAY worse.

I would love that. I’ll call when I’m done with work? Would that be okay?

Diamonds-Are-NOT-Forever

EST 16:43, 11/05/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

That’s perfect. I can’t wait.

Who-Should-I-Make-This-Cheque-Out-To?

EST 16:48, 11/05/18

*************************

Felicity spends a full thirty minutes after her shift is done primping herself in the mirror of her bathroom – that she only has to herself because there are so few people left – as she tries to convince herself that it is not a date. Just a friendly get together. A visual meeting of two once purely literary friends.

She is just grateful that she has such a flexible schedule and can play off these extra thirty minutes as her having to argue with some idiot about proper computer care. Not as her getting so nervous about their call that she did nothing for the last hour of her shift and then spent half an hour wet wiping herself even though he is not even going to be able to see her from below the neck let alone smell her.

It is just that she has grown very attached to Oliver in the short span of time that they have been talking and she is terrified of screwing it all up the second that she loses the protection of the delete key. When there is finally no more procrastinating to be done, she opens up her laptop and logs into her account, pulling up the chat system.

And then she presses call.

Oliver is gorgeous. She knew it already, of course. He is a rather famous man, after all, and she has known what he looks like ever since she found out who he is but seeing him in person, looking actually at her and not just at a camera, it is something else.

“Hi!” he breathes, taking her in.

“Hi.” She replies, “It’s actually you.”

“Your voice sounds so much better than I imagined it.” He says, not thinking. “I mean-”

“You imagined my voice?”

He blushes, “Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Well, talking to you is ninety percent of what I do up here. Of course I’ve pictured you in my mind.”

He has pictured her in his mind? Oh no. What if she is horribly ugly compared to his imaginings? What if he’s been picturing some tall brunette supermodel like the ones he used to date and instead he’s faced with a barely-average-height bespectacled blonde who cannot even string together a sentence without making some sort of social blunder?

“You’re…” she gulps, “So much better than I imagined.” She is… what? Better than he imagined? Beneath the camera, she pinches herself just to make sure that she is not dreaming.

“You are too.” Is all that she says. An awkward silence hangs over them, the two of them just staring at one another in awe, not saying a word and then Felicity cannot bear being quiet any more, “So…” she starts, “Crazy Carrie, huh?”

And before they know it, they have found a rhythm just as easy as the one they have over email. Maybe even more so.

*************************

Before her call, Oliver stared at his monitor for a full hour, just waiting for it to show an incoming call. Before that, he quadruple checked his appearance half a dozen times just to ensure that his appearance was as flattering as possible. Not that he wants her to think him flattering… just that he wants her to see that he made as much of an effort for her as he can. That is definitely why.

When she finally does, he is rendered nearly wholly speechless. She is almost a paradox, her face redolent of an ancient goddess’ even as she speaks of computers and code like a paragon of modern technology. Captivating. Her voice, too, is like every beautiful sound rolled into one tiny package that he has been lucky enough to hear.

When she starts questioning him about Carrie Cutter, and she teases him for his poor decisions in his youth instead of being disgusted at his behaviour, that is when he knows that he is screwed. That is when he knows that he will never be able to get enough of Felicity Smoak.

*************************

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Are you seriously telling me that you have NEVER seen ANY Star Wars movie??? Not even one?

Questioning-Everything-I-Thought-I-Knew-About-You

EST 13:22, 11/10/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

It wasn’t on purpose. It was just never anything my family watched.

I’ll-Watch-Them-If-It-Makes-You-Happy

EST 13:23, 11/10/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

That is still unacceptable! The minute that you get back on Earth I’m putting New Hope on right in front of you and you will have to watch it.

Might-Never-Get-Over-This

EST 13:25, 11/10/18

*************************

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

It obviously wasn’t the end of the world but it felt like it at the time. All I wanted was to go to space and when I found out it would never happen, I got so sad. This is sort of my dream job but it’s still hard to know that if I were up there I could have sorted everything out in a few days but instead I’m stuck down here.

Not that you guys aren’t doing a great job, it’s just that I wish I could do it too.

Almost-An-Astronaut

EST 12:10, 11/15/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

I can understand why it felt like the end and why it’s still hard. It was important to you. If I could fix your vision or swap places with you, you know I would in a heartbeat right?

Wishing-Things-Were-Different

EST 12:11, 11/15/18

*************************

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

He just sounded so down. I wish I was there and that I could fix everything for him but I can’t and honestly I don’t even know how much help I’d be if I was there. I just feel so useless and if my son is hurting and I can’t even offer him comfort, what kind of dad am I?

Wishing-I-Could-Be-There

EST 21:35, 11/23/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

You’re a fantastic dad. Just the fact that you want to be there for him so bad and you’re trying to find solutions and to help him out even now when you’re as far away as you are shows how fantastic you are. I’m sure William is taking comfort from you, I know I would have and I know how hard it must be to be able to see that but didn’t you say that Thea said he’d made you a coming home gift? Kids who don’t adore their parents don’t make them welcome home gifts, Oliver.

In-Awe-Of-Your-Fathering-Skills

EST 21:33, 11/23/18

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

How is it that you always know the exact right things to say?

Thankful-To-Have-You-In-My-Life

EST 21:34, 11/23/18

*************************

Oliver realises that he is in love with Felicity when she tells him about space camp. Just the image of that disappointed little blonde girl makes him feel so protective and hurt on her behalf and he just knows it. She is everything to him. When he gets back to Earth, he plans to tell her immediately. He plans to tell her that she always makes him smile, that her wit and her kindness completely floor him. He wants her to know how beautiful she is, and how much he thinks that William would love her too. He wants to tell her everything now.

But he is too scared to ruin what they have. He does not want to scare her off, or to lose her forever. They call every single day and email in between their calls. She keeps him going through the weeks of uncertainty, of fear for his family and loved ones. He cannot risk that, not until there is no other choice. So he waits and falls for her more and more each day, dreaming of what it would feel like to have her lips on his. What it would be like to take her to bed and make love to her slowly, all night long. To shower her with his affection and to be able to finally touch her, hold her. Treasure her.

In just a few weeks, she has carved out a place for herself in his heart and he knows that it will never change. That part of him will always be for Felicity Smoak only, no matter what happens. No matter whether she likes him the way he loves her or not, she has made herself one of the most important people in his life without even trying. And he loves her for it.

When she finally gets the call, Felicity is both ecstatic and heartbroken. She is ecstatic for Oliver and John and even Ramirez who has continued to make her life a misery but the ability to vent to Oliver has made her tolerance of him far better. But she is heartbroken for herself. Because she knows, and she has ever since Oliver told her he wanted to trade places with her so that she could go to space instead of him, that she is head over heels for Oliver Queen.

He is perfect for her. He always listens to her, he loves her babbles, he lets her ramble about computers to him. He is the most caring father ever and the most thoughtful man ever. She loves him. And now she fears that she might lose him forever, which is why it takes her so long to write the email. The thought of losing him forever is terrifying. She has never even spoken to William or Thea but through Oliver’s stories she has grown to love them almost as much as she loves him. If Oliver does not feel for her what she feels for him, she is scared that she will not just lose him, but she will lose Thea and William too.

But she has to send the email. So she does.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Hello all,

I am pleased to inform you that earlier today, I received notice that the three of you will be coming home in three days’ time. You’re all coming home.

There are some conditions to this, such as a mandatory quarantine, but the bottom line is that you can finally see your families again. As my work will end with the three of your returns, I will also be transferring back to my home when you land.

I wish you all well,

Felicity Smoak, MSc. MSc.

She/Her/They

NASA Computing Specialist

EST 15:17, 11/24/18

*************************

After Oliver receives the email from Felicity informing him that he is going home, he calls her up before he does anything else to celebrate. She does not answer, and he figures that she is just busy planning their returns so sends her an email instead, filled with all of the things he cannot wait to do like hug his family again. He does not mention how much he is hoping to hug her.

He gets no reply.

In the three days between the email and their return home, Oliver and Felicity barely speak. She misses all of his calls, she rarely responds to his emails and if she does, it is with a short, monosyllabic line of text.

Oliver fears that he has offended her somehow and even tries to pry the information from John, but John knows as little has he does. He then wonders if this is her way of letting him down gently. Of telling him that it was fun to message whilst the two of them were stuck with little else to do, but that will be all.

Even the thought of that being true threatens to break Oliver’s heart.

But when it gets to fifteen minutes before lift-off with still barely a word from her, he sees no other choice.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Felicity,

I’m not sure what happened to make you withdraw from me, but I could not let you go without first telling you some things.

You may be angry with me for some reason, you may want distance or you may just want to terminate our relationship now that we are both returning to our lives away from everything happening in the ISS but whatever the reason is, I am sorry.

Talking to you has been the highlight of my life for the last month and with every word from your mouth or your magic fingers, I feel like I have grown closer to you. I’m sorry if you do not feel the same, but I would be devastated to lose you from my life right now because you are one of the brightest parts of it.

I want to introduce you to William, I even want to introduce you to Thea as embarrassing as that would probably end up being for me. I just want you in my life. So if there is any way for us to fix whatever harm I have done or if there is any part of you that still wants to talk to me, please call me.

Forever-Yours

EST 09:52, 11/27/18

*************************

The email comes just as Felicity finishes packing. She wants to get out of here as quickly as possible. She does not think that she could survive Oliver looking her in the eye and cutting her out of his life. The pain would be too great. When he lands, he has three days of medical evaluation to complete before he can go home for his quarantine and Felicity does not plan on sticking around to wait for the pain that she is sure is coming.

And then she opens the email. I would be devastated to lose you. He actually said that. About her. He is blaming himself for her trying to slowly cut him out. He wants her to meet his family. Forever-Yours. Felicity is sure that he does not mean it in the way that she wants him to, but he still said it. He does not want her out of his life, he very much wants her in it. Felicity has never felt more alive, more joyous.

She rereads the email over and over as she waits for him to arrive home.

The shuttle’s progress is announced every ten minutes over the intercom system and Felicity is on the edge of her seat as she waits for the news that he is safely back on Earth. What if something goes wrong? What if there are complications and he gets hurt or worse? Her heart is going a mile a minute in her chest. What if her last email – That sounds good – is the last thing that she will ever send to him? What if he dies thinking that she hated him and that he had done something wrong?

The urge to do something overwhelms her and she bolts out of her room and into the workshop, where she tries to lose herself in some tech to take her mind off Oliver.

It works better than expected. The next thing that she knows, the sky is dark outside and the intercom is silent. He landed safely.

Tech is no longer enough and Felicity starts to aimlessly wander around the halls, searching for nothing but needing to move. She has no idea how long she wanders before she finds something. Or someone.

He is looking around the bunks, searching for the one that has been designated as his.

Oliver.

“Oliver!” she cries, breaking into a run.

“Felicity?” he sounds shocked, and then she is jumping into his arms.

He can barely hold her up, still weak from the zero gravity but he is a very muscular man and he still has enough strength left to support her.

“You’re here! You’re safe!” Felicity sobs over and over again, realising just how frightened she has been. She did almost lose him forever, but this time because of her own actions and it has terrified her. She feels Oliver sit down on a nearby bed, smoothing her hair over as he tries to comfort her.

“Hey, hey? What’s wrong?”

And Felicity has no idea what comes over her, but in that moment the look that he is giving her is so adoring, so passionate, that she can no longer help herself. She surges forwards and presses her lips to his.

He kisses her back.