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Chapter Text

A loud boom shocked the sleeping boy into a sitting position, rheumy eyes zigzagging around his surroundings. 

"The...fuck?"

The young man noticed several things wrong with his position...foremost that it was freezing cold wherever he was. Goosebumps broke out on his arms and legs despite being layered up in multiple shirts, and his teeth chattered. 

"Where...where am I?" his small voice echoed back to him, as if he was in a cave. 

Getting a better look at his surroundings, he realized that the surface he was sitting on was orange, bumpy, and smelled of citrus. Using a fist as a reality check, he hit himself several times on the side of the head to wake him up from whatever nightmare this was.  When his head started aching and he was sure it was real life, he screamed. 

He was sitting on an orange. A fucking gigantic ORANGE! How the-

Then, something monstrous and unexpected descended upon him. It was tan, ginormous, and to the boy...it looked like one hella huge hand. The boy's face contorted in horror, hands going up uselessly to protect himself. 

"THE FUCK! THE FUCK! WHAT-"

Fingers slowly casing around the orange object the boy was seated on, the hand lifted the round piece of fruit up. The young man slid down the side as the fruit titled sideways, falling several feet onto a hard plastic floor. Forced from his mouth was a puff of discomfort, the air knocked out of him hard as his chest hit the ground. Rolling around quickly, the boy watched as the hand gradually disappeared with the orange in its clutches behind a small crack of what he assumed was a door. 

A door to a fridge. 

Suddenly, it all made sense. The large fruit, the desperate hand, the coldness that clung to the air...and that ever so soft buzzing sound that the boy knew was a motor pushing the heat out of the appliance. 

"I'm in a fucking fridge," he whined in disbelief, slowly brushing himself off and pushing himself to a standing position. 

Never in a million years would Min Yoongi believe that he had shrunken down to such a minuscule size, surrounded by towers of fruits inside of a fridge. How had he gotten there?

As a cool breeze sent shivers up his spine, his gaze followed the orange spheres that encircled him. The citrus smell was overpowering, but Yoongi didn't mind; he actually found the scent pleasant as his mind cluttered with questions. 

How would he get out?

Was anyone else in there?

Who would feed his dog when he was away?

Yoongi's lip curled in displeasure at this last thought, hoping desperately that his pup would be taken care of by a friendly neighbor who noticed his absence from the apartment he had just moved into across from campus. 

Speaking of campus...what about his classes?! Well, actually-

"Screw fucking class," Yoongi mumbled, trudging over to a crack separating the oranges that he could crawl through. Perhaps if he got a better view of his surroundings, then he could find a way to escape?

Upon reaching the space, the boy crouched down on his hands and knees, swearing to himself out of nervous habit as he crawled between the bumpy peels of the huge fruits. It felt like forever before Yoongi surfaced on the other side, head tilting up to view the rest of the fridge. 

From his point of view it was huge...just on his floor alone there were mountains of fresh produce and some water bottles off to the side that sat in a neat line. Yoongi marveled at the sheer size of such objects...the things he used to throw around casually from hand to hand were now towers to him. 

"Holy shit..."

Above his head was a clear plastic ceiling, much like the floor he was standing on. He could make out a few more foods...was that a cheese block? But not much else. He knew that an average fridge had many shelves...how many did this one have?

He crossed his arms to conserve the body heat that was radiating off of him, lips pulling into a frown as he turned in a circle. How was he supposed to escape this place?

"Fridges...shit, what do I know about refrigerators?"

He shut his eyes tight in thought, forcing himself to go over every fridge he had owned since childhood. Like...three? They were always spotty with food, never satisfying Yoongi's cravings. His family wasn't poor...but...

Okay, maybe his family was a bit poor back in the day. 

But that didn't stop Yoongi from attending college. No...his stubborn self studied hard and forced himself to do well on tests, no matter how much he hated school. He needed to get a good job and support his family and-

Damn, what was he thinking? First he needed to escape this shit hole. 

"All refrigerators have vents...yes...they have cooling vents near the top! If I can get up there..." his eyes tilted up, to the unknown amount of floors above him, "Then I'll be able to pass through the vent until I'm outside of this place!"

Yoongi's happiness at his discovery overshadowed his doubts about his size. Would his size return back to normal if he left? Would he be able to go home?

"Just gotta make it out first..." the boy decided, walking around the oranges while trying to come up with a plan. 

As his soft footsteps echoed off of the cold white walls of the fridge, he began to lose hope. He had been walking for quite some time while surveying his surroundings, nothing coming to mind. His skin temperature was dropping the longer he stayed there, patience running low as he picked up his walking pace. 

Need to keep warm. IT'S SO FUCKING COLD!

Yoongi brought his hands up to his neck, warming them against his slightly warmer skin there. His entire body was wracked by shivers, the cold air making him claustrophobic. Normally the boy was cold, so being in such an environment was like torture. He stomped his feet against the plastic flooring before yelling out. 

"Please...tell me this is all a dream!" 

He shut his eyes, counted to ten and reopened them. No luck. He was still inside of the fridge, freezing his ass off. 

"DAMN IT!"

Yoongi kicked at a nearby orange in anger, wincing when his ankle cracked as it bounced back off of the bumpy surface. He huffed, jogging around the fruits to keep his body warm. 

"Need...warmth."

As his eyes wandered around the various foods around him, they stopped on some lettuce nearby. 

"Fuck yes!" the boy cheered as a new thought popped into his mind. 

Lettuce...flexible, bendable...wearable?

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Chapter Text

Lettuce leaves. 

Perfect for crafting clothing, especially in this freezing cold place. 

Well, that's what Yoongi thought at least...until he tried to craft clothing using his bare hands with no prior experience. 

"DAMN IT!" Yoongi shouted following an attempt at wrapping a leaf around his waist. The thin plant slid down him with nothing to hold it onto his slim figure. He would need some kind of fastener or...some kind of rope. 

"Rope...tighten...something, anything to-" Yoongi's eyes latched onto the stems of some of the leaves in front of him, a knowing grin spreading across his lips. 

The stems! Perfect for tying knots...perhaps he could use one as a belt.

Approaching the nearest green leafy object, he bit his lip in concentration as he held onto the stem, pulling backwards with all of his might. The stem came off almost instantly, the leftover inertia from the motion forcing his body backwards. He groaned as his back hit the cold plastic floor, hand coming up to rub the now sore area over his tailbone. 

But at least he got the stem!

Raising his shoulders in pride with a signature Yoongi neck pop, the college student hussled towards the leaf meant for his makeshift body wrap. With one hand securing the leaf to him and the other one wrapping the stem around him, Yoongi was getting the hang of making clothes. 

His nimble fingers knotted the stem tightly, the healthy clothing fitting him nicely. Soon enough, his body heat bounced off of the leaf and brought him some comfort in the tundra-like atmosphere. 

"Ahh...so much better," he crooned as he waltzed toward some more leaves. His shivering had diminished quite a bit; his muscles relaxed as he worked on making more clothing. 

He would need some leg warmers...arm warmers, maybe ear muffs? Some gloves, a face mask? Yeah...he definitely needed a face mask. 

Before long, what once was a shivering lost boy was completely transformed into a warm and confident adventurer. Min Yoongi was swathed in layers of green, tied tightly to him with the stems of leafy greens. 

As he left the lettuce area, he got a good look at himself in the clear reflection of a water bottle. 

"Oh. My. God." 

To Yoongi, the man standing before him wasn't himself, but a Spartan warrior who appeared to be disguised as a blade of grass. He laughed as he imagined himself camouflaged as a house plant in his new apartment, his dog walking past unaware that he was there. 

"Ahhh...Noodle. I miss you."

Images of his unfed dog floated through his mind as he trudged along the bottom floor of the fridge. He still hadn't thought of any great ideas that would bring him to the upper floor, which weighed heavily upon him. 

How was he supposed to get all the way up there without climbing equipment or a rope of some sort-

Wait. Rope!

Excitedly, Yoongi peered down at his outfit, the stems he used from before standing out to him like a godsend. He would go back to the lettuce and make a long rope for climbing!

Running in his new green suit, Yoongi cheered joyously as the lettuce came back into sight. 

He would make it out of there...

Clicking his tongue to the victory song playing in his head, Yoongi's hands rapidly dove for as many stems as he could find. Tearing them off of the leaves they were attached to, the excited boy skillfully knotted stem to stem. After a good half hour of doing so, he had a long rope coiled on the ground at his feet. 

"YES! PERFECT!" his rolling tone echoed back to him joyfully off the walls of the fridge.  

Now where was he going to...hook it?

The boy searched his surroundings thoroughly. Head craned to try and catch a glimpse of the floor above him, Yoongi's eyes locked onto something. It sat brightly on the floor above his, and there was a perfect loop on it for him to hook his rope through. 

A jug of milk!

Perfect!

But how was he supposed to get the rope up there? 

"If only I was up a bit higher..." he mumbled, dragging the rope behind him like a lifeless snake. His green encased figure circled around the lettuce bag, thinking of a plan. 

"I need to get on something high...like," he glanced to his left, "Like those water bottles! Those would be tall enough to throw the rope...but how do I get on top of them..." 

The food surrounding him was silent, sitting there while he shuffled from side to side, contemplating what to do. There were strawberries, some peaches, some grapes...

Grapes! That was it!

Yoongi set the rope down as he jogged over to the container of unopened grapes. The round fruits were a deep purple, stacked in clumps inside of the plastic container. In his mind he saw himself rolling them out of the container, stacking them in a neat line and making some kind of grape-stairway up to the water bottle. 

Plus, he knew that grape skin might be a little bouncy too, which might just help him later on. 

"Yes! Alright, first I need to-"

His words fell out of his mouth as a high pitched frequency burst through his threshold of hearing. Blinking a few times in confusion, he tilted his head to get a better listen. 

Was that the...fridge? No...the fridge made a low humming noise, not an annoying shrill ring. 

Yoongi frowned, rubbing his chin as the sound intensified. He stepped back from the grapes and turned his head around. 

The fridge door wasn't opening, so it wasn't another hand...and it wasn't the fridge itself so...

BBBUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZ!

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Suddenly the source of the noise flew into his vision, scaring the living daylights out of his frail figure. Yoongi jumped back instinctively, back pressed against the plastic of the grape container. 

A huge, monstrous fly had flown in front of him, black hairy body casting shivers down Yoongi's spine. It's large eyes were even more disgusting up close, the spiky hairs on its back shifting to and fro as the beast's wings batted. The shrill noise was absolutely deafening; Yoongi couldn't even hear himself spewing swears out. 

His back against the plastic, Yoongi's leafy arm came up in a stopping motion. The fly, however, only saw someone its own size and wanted to interact...or eat him. Ignoring the boy's upheld hand, the beast was on the approach, buzzing as it drifted towards Yoongi. 

"NO NO NO WHY ARE YOU COMING BY ME GO AWAY WHAT THE FUCK YOU CREEPY LITTLE, NO NOT LITTLE, HUGE FAT BIG LARGE BASTARD- AHHHHHhh!"

The enormous fly was only moments away from landing on top of him, the boy cowering deeper into the grape container. Any minute now his new leafy clothing would be soiled by himself. Not unless he did something...

No, Yoongi...don't cower, fight back...that's right, just-

"FIGHT BACK!" Yoongi yelled as he brought his fists up. The fly recoiled a bit at the sight, but brushed it off as it continued advancing towards him. 

As the fly made to land on him, Yoongi noticed a long black tube uncoiling from its shaking body. It looked slimy...reminding him of a tar-black esophagus...like it meant to protrude into his skin and suck out his bodily juices. 

"FUCK THAT SHIT I'M OUT!"

Yoongi broke into a sprint towards the peaches, head whipping back to see the fly in close pursuit. 

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Chapter Text

BUUUUZZZZZ

BUUUZZZZZ

ZZZZ

ZZ

As Yoongi sprinted for his dear life away from the buzzing monster that was trying to eat him alive, the peaches looked like the best bet for hiding. 

Although he was dressed in all green and would probably stand out against the pinkness of a peach, he didn't think that the fly would be able to distinguish the two colors. Flies were color blind, right?

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck."

Yoongi's breath caught in his throat as he heard the buzzing increase. The fly was definitely closing in on him. 

But would the fly be able to fit into the crack of a peach? Likely not.

So that's where Yoongi ran. Right into the butt crack of a fairly ripe peach. 

It was a bit claustrophobic in the tight space between the walls of the peach, but at least it smelled fruity. As he buried himself deeper into the fruit, the sounds of the fly became quieter and quieter. 

Tilting his head around to view the opening, he didn't see the fly anywhere. But he knew that if he left now, it was only a matter of time before the disgusting insect found him. 

"What do I do? I have to..."

FIGHT BACK. 

"UUGGHHH! How am I supposed to kill a fly with nothing but food?!"

He closed his eyes, rubbing his face with his shaky hands. The adrenaline from the chase still pumping through his veins, Yoongi ruffled up his hair in stress. 

Nothing but food...nothing but food. 

Maybe if he could trap the fly...it might die of starvation? 

"Yoongi, don't be dumb. This is a fridge, the fly won't starve for another year."

He thought back to all the places he had been. Under the oranges, by the lettuce, near the water bottles, by the grape container...

"Container...container..." he repeated like a mantra, the gears in his head spinning. If he got the fly into that container, then at least it wouldn't be able to kill him. Maybe...

"I need to get some grapes out and then...trap the fly in there."

It was worth a shot. 

By then, the incessant buzzing of the fly had subsided, leaving the hum of the fridge as the only source of noise to reach his ears. He waited a few minutes, not wanting to take his chances if the fly was still waiting for him by the opening. 

Minutes passed, but still no sound of the fly...had it flown away?

"Let's hope...hope it left," Yoongi crossed his fingers as he crept towards the opening of the peach crack. 

His fingers skimmed over the soft fuzz of peach skin as his heart rate skyrocketed...edging closer to the opening...

Closer...

He popped his head out, twitching his neck around to look 360 degrees around him. Up. Left. Down. Right. 

No fly. 

"Thank god," Yoongi whispered as his hammering heart calmed down a bit. 

Now all he had to do was sneak over to the grapes and pull a few out before getting the fly's attention. He could do it. 

"I can do this," Yoongi's lips moved on their own as the boy tiptoed back towards the grape container, sticking close to fruits he passed. As he crept down the line of produce, he felt as if he was being watched. Opening his eyes up all the way, the boy stopped behind an orange to scan his surroundings. 

White walls and fruits were the only things he could see. No sound of buzzing either. 

Had the fly gone to a different floor?

Feeling a bit more at ease with the thought, Yoongi took a deep breath before running to the grape container. The fly was no where to be seen. 

Yoongi climbed up the plastic of the container carefully, glancing back every few seconds to see if the black hairy monster had any second thoughts of eating him. But nothing came up as he reached the top. His shoulders relaxed noticeably and he huffed out a breath of air. 

"Do this for Noodle," Yoongi told himself, imagining himself back at home with his favorite collie, "Do it for her."

The boy's green clad arms shook as they wrapped around the sticker covering the opening of the grape container. The adhesive was surprisingly strong, hardly budging when he pulled it again and again. 

"GOSH! How do they expect people to eat if you can't even open the fucking container?!"

Throwing all his strength at the sticker, the boy rejoiced as it peeled back a little. Over time, he found that if he spit on his hands, the saliva helped deteriorate the glue across the sticker. 

Yoongi smiled at the ridiculousness of the situation. He could just picture his college professor watching him, a college student dressed in lettuce, spitting angrily on his hands to remove a giant sticker from an even larger grape container. 

It made him chuckle. 

But the smile was instantly removed off of his face as he heard the high pitched whine of the fly again. 

"Shit!" Yoongi ducked down, flattening himself on top of the container to reduce his visibility. 

The fly sounded very faint, as if it was in the far distance on the other side of the first floor. Peering from underneath his spit-covered hands and scanning the fridge, Yoongi saw no trace of the fly.

Then the sound stopped. 

Perhaps the fly had just changed positions and he wasn't coming for Yoongi. 

"I swear...if...hhhhhhh," Yoongi sighed. 

The boy shook his head, picking himself up and returning to his task of tearing the sticker off. After lots of swearing and spitting, the sticker finally tore free. The boy moved to the plastic fasteners of the container and kicked as hard as he could. The plastic gave way, the lid popping away as it was undone from its fastener.

After kicking at the other corner, the top of the grapes container flew open with a loud thud as the top hit the back wall of the fridge. Thankfully, Yoongi jumped down onto the ledge of the container before this happened, saving himself from being slingshot against the hard wall. 

But the noise...

Yoongi froze as he waited for the fly to wake up from his spot and buzz angrily at him. He held his breath as he listened, waiting for the telltale ring of danger that the beast made. 

But nothing came. 

"At least the fly buzzed off," Yoongi chimed, laughing afterwards at his dumb joke, "Haha, huh, haha 'buzz off' haha."

The soft thrum of the fridge gave the green bean Yoongi enough will power to hop into the grapes, bouncing slightly as his feet collided with the first one. He went airborne for a second, arms flailing as the ground left his feet. 

"WOAAHhh, so cool."

After jumping around for a little bit, Yoongi all but forgot about the fly that was on the same floor as him. He was kindly reminded as the buzzing returned, this time Yoongi spotting the black roaming monster in the distance.

The fly buzzed low, as if it was scanning the area for him. Yoongi's stomach turned to mush as the black creature flew towards the grape container. 

It hadn't seen him...right?

Yoongi mentally panicked as he realized how out in the open he was. Getting onto his hands and knees, he lowered himself down into the grape pile, obscuring himself from the outside. As the buzzing approached the container and then abated a bit, Yoongi counted to calm himself. 

"One...two...three...four...five...fuck, why'd it stop?"

The buzzing had stopped yet again. Yoongi, the short-tempered and impatient boy that he was, began to get sick and tired of playing one man hide-and-go-seek.

"Asshole probably left again. Nothing to worry about," Yoongi tried to convince himself as he resurfaced from the grapes. He clapped his green clad hands together and faced the purple round objects that would help him escape. 

"Better start the harvest of these so I can get to the next floor..."

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Chapter Text

Yoongi's sweaty palms brushed against several of the grapes in front of him as he scooted into a more comfortable position. If he was going to succeed in getting the grapes out of the container, he would need to use all of his strength. 

Not like he was weak or anything...

But it didn't help that the grape was large enough for him to fit inside of. 

"God...damn, why are these...so big...?" Yoongi huffed between his clenched teeth as he kicked a nearby grape.

His foot bounced back with an unpleasant crack as his ankle popped. He grimaced, but more at the sound than the sensation.

Trying again, Yoongi's leg pushed out harshly, unlodging the grape from its stubborn home. The purple fruit flying off another bouncy grape, escaping the container. Letting out a triumphant yelp of joy, Yoongi moved onto the next grape. 

"One down, at least 3 more to go-"

The next grape gave way easier than the last, causing Yoongi to stumble forward against the plastic container. Wincing when a part of his green leafy outfit ripped, Yoongi reached out for the torn part before it could be lost at the bottom of the container.

"Shit. Shit!" he spat on his arm and slapped the leaf to it, hoping it would stick with the natural adhesive. After he was sure it wasn't moving, he crawled towards the next loose grape.

Using his hands cautiously this time, Yoongi pushed at the grape until it shifted. A few wobbles later, the grape rolled off of its counterparts and spilled onto the fridge with the other two.

"Three grapes down--now I just need to-"

But he didn't finish his statement. The sudden buzzing that made the grape container vibrate forced him to swallow his words. His eyes flicked left and right nervously across the open fridge. The fly was no where to be seen.

Why was the grape container shaking then?

Anxiously, Yoongi crawled among the grapes to give himself a better vantage point of the fridge. Up by the lid, he was still unsure of the disgusting insect's whereabouts.

"Where...where are you...?" Yoongi whispered in the cold air.

As an answer, the lid of the grape container began to rise out of the corner of his eye. Horrified, the green clad college student whirled to see the gigantic fly under the lid of the open grape container. Rising up. The buzzing reverberated angrily in his ears; goosebumps prickled his arms. 

"Holy FUCK." Yoongi's teeth gritted as his body tensed up. He needed to move and to move fast.

With a grunt of effort, the terrified boy propelled two more grapes out of the container before diving. Diving wasn't a bad way to put it either, as Yoongi plummeted headfirst into the deep purple--hoping to avoid being a meal for the struggling fly.

Visible to Yoongi from behind his lifeline of stacked fruits were pulsing weblike wings and the awful scrape of insect against plastic.

BuuuuuuUUUUZZZZZZ!

"Stay there! STAY THERE! BEGONE FLY!"

But the fly didn't pay his words much heed as it rose up, the lid to the grape container flapping down. The fly positioned itself above the now closed grape container. It seemed angry that it missed out on a free meal. Yoongi knew that if the fly could speak english, it would probably be saying something along the lines of 'FUCK! How did that spinach leaf evade me!'

His heart leapt in two directions: relief and worry. Now that he was protected inside of the closed container, he wouldn't have to worry about that disgusting, elongated straw thingy-

BOOM!

The fly turned to the act of flying directly into the plastic, rattling the grapes Yoongi was leaning upon.

BOOM!

Again, the fly struck. Yoongi jolted into action as a grape shifted out from under him, causing a mini avalanche of fruit.

"GO EAT SOME FRUIT OR SOMETHING! I'M THIN AS FUCK, NO MEAT ON ME! PLUS IT LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT ANYWAY FATAS-"

BOOM!

Yoongi's leaf-covered chest smacked into the wall of the container. Cheek pressed up against the cool plastic, he tried one last attempt at getting the fly to leave.

Going limp.

Playing dead was his best bet, or at least that's what came to mind. Forcing every muscle in his body to relax, he slumped against the floor of the container. All he could hear was the quick, nervous beat of his heart against his ribs and the loud buzzing of the fly.

Why wasn't it buzzing away? Couldn't it see that he was-

Wait, flies relied on their sense of smell...

"Fuck!" Yoongi reanimated his still body to a seated position.

BOOM!

What was he to do to smell different than himself? Disgusting thoughts came to mind. He could pee all over-

"NO! Yuck. I'll just-"

The grapes in front of him pressed against his body as the fly barged into the container, livid from its inability to enter the plastic castle. An idea smashed into his mind--well, smashed against his shoulder, anyway.

"Grapes! Grape! That's it!"

Immediately, the college kid opened his mouth, leaning over the fresh skin of a grape. His teeth snared the skin, tearing it open enough for him to peel back the rest of the grape. The clear, mushy inside revealed itself, and to Yoongi's delight it gave off a faint sweetish smell.

Without a second thought, Yoongi plunged his hand into the fruit, ripping the skin to the side as his arm disappeared. The annoying buzzing was an impetus for him to speed up; he didn't know how much more of that glass-breaking frequency he could handle before he had a breakdown.

The texture wasn't the most pleasant. The cold, jelly-like material covering his entire arm sent shudders down his spine. With his other hand he opened the gap wider...wider...

Soon he could fit his upper half into the fruit. He had to be thorough--had to eradicate the leafy-Yoongi scent that clung to him like his name. Closing his mouth and eyes tight, he dove into the grape, pushing forward into the aroma that just might thwart the fly's plan to eat him.

Because...if a person didn't have a distinct smell, did they really exist at all?

Yoongi pulled his legs in behind him, curling his leafy armor against the guts of the grape. Maybe the fly hadn't swallowed him whole, but the grape surely did. The muffled buzzing of the fly still ticked Yoongi off. When it could still be heard minutes later, Yoongi began to lose hope.

Why wasn't it leaving?

Smelling sweet like grapes...but bitter as a black cup of coffee that grows cold, Yoongi slithered from the grape. His eyes batted away the bright, unforgiving fridge lights. Eventually, the fly came into focus, hovering in the exact same position as before.

"Are you kidding me." By this point, Yoongi was willing to attack the fly with his bare fists.

He was that irked.

It was a particularly rough trip back up the grapes, especially since he was slimed over with grape insides. His hands and feet kept slipping against the smooth grape skins, evoking several profanities from his frowning lips.

"Leave me the FUCK alone, bud." Yoongi arrived at the top of the closed container, out of breath and no longer deathly afraid of the fly. "You wanna fight, huh? Come at me!"

With a hard push, Yoongi threw the container door open. The fly flitted out of its path to avoid getting hit. Yoongi tensed as the creature slowly flew to the now open grape container.

Each long, hairy leg became visible to the boy as the monster approached; it took everything in Yoongi not to just hide back in the grape for the rest of the day.

BUUUZZZZ...?

The boy ticked an eyebrow. Did that fly sound confused...or was it just him? No, flies couldn't sound-

BUZZ?

Wingbeat after wingbeat, the insect drifted closer to the grapes. Yoongi met its netted eyes with annoyance. Flies were so ugly...he didn't understand why they needed to be so hairy or so...

Suddenly, the fly landed on the grape next to his own, pausing to creepily rub its hands together. Yoongi stood there for what felt like forever, watching the beast with uncertainty. It wasn't approaching him.

"Hey! Hello! Over here!" Yoongi yelled loudly.

And...nothing.

The fly continued its hand rolling. To the college boy, the creature looked as if it was plotting an evil plan to end the world. Yoongi copied it, as much to mock the creature as to warm up his cold, clammy grape hands. 

"I would ask for your name and try to make pleasantries, but it seems we can't communicate in the same language."

The fly kept buzzing.

Yoongi found himself more daring. He took a step forward. "Buzz BUZ buz buzz BUZZZZ BuZ buzz!"

The college boy covered his mouth, suppressing the bouts of laughter from pouring out. 

FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID FLY SELF! Was what Yoongi meant to say. 

Perhaps the fly got the message (or just didn't sense the tiny man's presence anymore) because it stopped its hand rubbing and flew away without another buzz.

Yoongi clapped his hands fervently. He found himself in euphoric disbelief. "That's right, buzz off! Go back to the leftovers or wherever you bottom feeders like to loiter! Good riddance!"

His impassioned farewell left him flushed and warm again. Giving himself a well-deserved pat on his slimy back, Yoongi bounded down from the grape container.

The grapes he had pushed out earlier all sat near the bottom of the bin in a semi-straight line, like kindergartners assembling for recess. His leaf-stem rope sat not too far from his grapes along the side of the container. 

"Now...time to build those stairs!" the grape-smelling, leaf-covered boy sang out as he skipped towards some fruit.

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Chapter Text

"ALL BY MY-"

A grape rolled diligently across the refridgerator floor as Yoongi pushed it into place.

"SEEEEEEELLLLFFFF!"

The final grape settled at the bottom of the makeshift set of stairs. The green clad boy hummed, satisfied with the possible means of escape to the second floor. He bent down to grab his organic rope when he heard humming.

The fly? he thought at first.

But no, this humming was varied, with vibrato...it sounded like a song he knew.

The tune placed a smile on his face. Finally, after hours of only hearing the hum of the refrigerator along with the annoying high pitched whine of the fly, Yoongi closed his eyes and let the hum take over him.

It sounded like...was that Bruno Mars? Yeah, yeah--that was it! Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash-

Wait. Did that mean...that a person was outside of the fridge about to reach in again?

"FUCK!" Yoongi's hands thrashed around as he coiled up the rope to be thrown. He needed to hurry before the hand came again. What if the person saw the spilled grapes and tried to clean them up? Yoongi's entire creation would be destroyed.

With a heave and a flick of the wrist, the college boy tossed one end of the rope towards the cap of one of the water bottles sitting on the second floor. To his surprise, the rope wrapped around beautifully, first try.

"Hell yeah, I just did that!" Yoongi paraded up the grapes as the humming intensified, both pleased and worried at the same time. After all the commotion with the fly, the fruits, and the clothing, he was finally going to make it to the second floor.

Once he made it to the top of his grape stairs, he smiled, preparing himself mentally for the long climb ahead of him.

I only have to get up that long-ass rope...using the upper body strength that I don't have...and if I fall I'll get seriously injured...

"Oh shut up!" Yoongi screamed aloud, throwing himself off of the top step. He was relying fully on the stem rope now. He didn't dare glance down; he knew he would chicken the fuck out if he caught sight of how high he was up.

The leftover grape residue didn't make the climb easier for the college student, but the humming did. After Grenade by Bruno Mars finished up, the hummer switched to 24K Magic.

As Yoongi's burning arms struggled to keep pulling his weight, he focused in on the lyrics to the song. He couldn't maintain the tune because his energy was put into the climb, so he screamed the lyrics instead.

"TOO HOT! HOT DAMN! CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN, I'M TOO HOT-"

Suddenly, the humming stopped. Yoongi frowned but kept singing.

"HOT DAMN! MAKE A DRAGON WANNA RETIRE-"

Yoongi's hand was reaching for the next knot in his stem rope when it almost slipped because of what he saw. Straight above him, standing on the second floor next to the water bottle Yoongi had hurled his rope onto, was another person.

A PERSON?

"HOLY SHIT!" Yoongi struggled to hang on to the rope. The person standing there panicked a bit, rushing over to help the green-clad boy out before he could fall. Yoongi clutched the extended hand of the stranger who was lying on his stomach, hanging over the ledge of the fridge shelf.

The man was surprisingly strong, yanking Yoongi's weight up with ease. The boy landed on the second shelf of the fridge with a thump, his knees bearing the brunt of the landing. 

That's going to leave bruises...

"I didn't realize there was another person trapped in here with me." the man side. But something...something was familiar about that tone of voice.

Yoongi turned around, studying the man's face with intensity. The man's face was smooth, yet bags encased his tired eyes. Similar to Yoongi, the man had created clothes for himself from his surroundings. In this case the man had skillfully harnessed sticker labels for clothing. An array of different labels covered his torso...water bottle labels covered his legs and peach labels covered his arms. 

Strange...peaches were on the first floor...had this man also gotten to the second floor on his own?

"Do I...do I know you from somewhere?" Yoongi inquired, trying to place where he had heard that voice before.

"Never seen you in my life." That same smooth, caramel voice. It matched the man's caramel colored hair and dark brown eyes. For some reason, the man hadn't got up from his seated position on the fridge floor. Just as he was about to ask why, Yoongi spotted the thick labels wrapped tightly around the man's left foot.

"Are you..." Yoongi sat down next to the man. "Are you hurt?"

Sighing, the man nodded. He cleared his throat and began to sit up. To Yoongi, this man already had a defeated air about him, as if he had given up escaping long ago. Yoongi's arrival didn't seem to help his mood, either.

"Here," Yoongi extended a pale, grape-smelling hand out, "Let me help you up."

"No."

The man scowled at Yoongi, pushing himself to his feet with several winces that pained Yoongi to watch. Once the guy was stable enough to move, he turned away from Yoongi and started away at a dragging limp.

"Hey!" Yoongi bounded over to the man's side, both confused and distraught by this man's coldness. "Hey! You just helped me out back there...why don't you let me help you out? You're clearly in pain...perhaps we could work together to get out of here!"

"No, once again. I don't need your help." the man's eyes were averted from Yoongi's as he lumbered over to the water bottles ever so slowly. The green-clad college boy shivered, but not because of the cold temperature in the fridge.

This man was being icy. And Yoongi didn't like it one bit.

"Look buddy, I know you probably see me as a weak kid who is gonna die in here without ever seeing daylight again, but I'll have you know that I intend to leave this place as soon as possible. I will get out, because I have a dog to feed back at my apartment. I'll also have you know that I'm very capable--I evaded a monstrous fly down there--" Yoongi pointed underneath them, "And I've survived thus far."

The man stopped limping and looked into Yoongi's eyes. His own were a bit interested; it seemed as if he were looking at Yoongi for the first time.

"Did you kill that bastard fly?"

Yoongi itched at the back of his neck. "Well, no...but-"

"Then we're still at risk." he continued his limping. When he saw that Yoongi was still following him, he groaned and turned back to the college boy. "Stop following me. Leave me alone. I know I helped you out back there, but I don't want to carry deadweight anymore. Goodbye now!"

Yoongi just stared at the man's back, dead frozen after what he had just heard.

Dead...deadweight? I'm not deadweight!

"Hey, wait up!" Yoongi rushed to the caramel-haired man's side. "At least give me your name so..." Yoongi desperately tried to come up with an excuse. Why did he want to know the man's name? "So I can, um...thank you properly for helping me. I-I'll go first. I'm Min Yoongi, sophomore in college--computer science major."

The man blinked at Yoongi's introduction. After several seconds of silence, Yoongi began to doubt if the man would speak or not. Right when Yoongi was about to give up and walk away, the dude spoke.

"I'm Kim Namjoon."

The man said nothing else, but he didn't need to. A light went off in Yoongi's head--he remembered where he knew Namjoon from. He couldn't contain his excitement as he blurted out what came to mind.

"Kim...Kim Namjoon? You mean the top senior in Seoul University, triple majoring in astrophysics, mathematics, and business?! BRO! Everyone knows you from your speeches and the radio always mentions you--you're only 22 but made it into Mensa! You're crazy smart, you have tons of awards-"

"That's enough." Namjoon was irritated, trying his best to limp away from Yoongi faster. They were getting closer to the water bottles, where Yoongi spotted the first signs of a...a makeshift living space?

"But it's amazing! You're so intelligent and respected--I would die to be as gifted as you-"

"ENOUGH!" Namjoon twisted to face Yoongi. His eyes were blazing with warning. Something dark and painful floated around in them; they said don't push it. 

A bit taken aback by Namjoon's fit, Yoongi licked his lower lip and cleared his throat. He awkwardly met eye contact with Namjoon while folding and unfolding the leafy cuffs of his clothing.

What was wrong with Namjoon? What happened to him?

"Oh...okay Namjoon--sorry..." Yoongi watched as Namjoon snarled lightly before turning away. "But just know that if you need anything..."

He trailed off as Namjoon limped out of hearing distance. At least Yoongi knew where the extremely smart man was located. For some reason Yoongi knew he would return to the troubled brunette in the future.

Miffed by the encounter and very tired from the climb up to the second floor, Yoongi decided that it was time to rest for a while.

"Just need to find somewhere to go..."

A bright white carton stood out in the distance. Squinting his eyes, he saw that the object was a milk carton with a long shadow. In the bright light of the fridge, a little nap in the darkness of the shadow seemed like a great idea.

Maybe when he woke up he would try to speak to Namjoon again...

+   +   +   +   +

Chapter Text

Yoongi awoke to the tangy smell of disappointment and...

Plastic.

Rolling over, he scoffed as he removed his cheek from the cold surface of the fridge floor. His entire jaw was sore from his nap; sleeping on a tough plastic shell was not comfortable.

"Fuuuuuuccckkk..." He yawned, his joints popping as he sat up. He eyed the towering milk container next to him. "Wasn't I supposed to do something today...?"

Wait, today? How long had he been asleep? What time of day was it? How was Noodle doing alone?!

WHO WAS HE?!

A faint whistle broke through his bombardment of anxious thoughts. Just loud enough for him to recognize the melody. One from his childhood.

You didn't have to cuuutttt me offffff!

The words came to Yoongi's mind like an automatic alarm clock, naturally bringing his consciousness to a more active state. He was not normally a morning person, so coming to from his naps was definitely a feat to be proud of. Forcing himself to his feet with help from the surface of the milk carton, the college boy wiped his tired eyes with a leaf from his armor.

Now you're just somebody that I used to know!

The whistling continued, prompting Yoongi to follow the tune, entranced by the lilts and rises of the whistler. Whom the boy remembered to be-

Oh.

That was right.

Yoongi flipped a switch in his brain to stealth mode as he quieted his footsteps. He didn't want the angry brown-haired genius to know he was being watched by the leaf boy.

Especially since the senior came off so rude the other day...but was now whistling. Of course, the song choice wasn't the most uplifting or positive...

But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.

Namjoon was the only other person in the fridge with Yoongi. And he, like Yoongi, had the horrible urge to escape back to their normal lives. The only problem was, Namjoon pushed Yoongi away. Said the leaf-boy would cause him more harm than aid.

"I'll show him." Yoongi whispered. "I'll show him how good and smart and badass of a person I am and then he'll let me help him."

The sound of the music grew steadily as Yoongi edged around the milk carton. After the end of Somebody That I Used to Know, the whistling stopped abruptly.

"Damn it!" Yoongi huffed as he turned the corner of the container that faced the water bottles, "How am I supposed to locate him now-"

"You've located him."

Namjoon stood stock still in front of the leaf-boy, looking down at him with a small frown. At a quick glance, Yoongi could tell that the other was suffering, his weight heavily propped on a bent piece of plastic that looked as if it had come from the side of a fruit container. The genius sported heavy lines etched into his gaunt face--which to Yoongi looked a little pale.

"Oh...uh, mission accomplished?" Yoongi half-laughed, half-grimaced as he flushed out of embarrassment and fear.

"Next mission," Namjoon sighed as he began to turn away from the other, "Stop trying to locate him."

At first, Yoongi's initial instinct was to sneer and bite back, wanting to fight his way to Namjoon's side instead of being patient. But Namjoon's coolness and state of superiority made Yoongi try approaching the situation using a different method.

Two can play at that game.

The sophomore ambled to the injured's side, walking in step with the other's shaky, painful-looking movements, but not looking directly at him. He could practically feel Namjoon's disappoinment as his grip tightened on the walking staff.

"Okay, no problem. I will cease to locate him."

 The senior blinked at him. "Good-"

"But I want to know one thing before I do."

The other fell silent; not a single retort left his mouth. The repeated sound of Namjoon's shuffling steps and the walking stick scraping against the plastic floor were the only noises in the fridge.

Except for the fridge's buzzing. That never stopped.

"I was just curious," Yoongi began, trying his best to muster a steady and serious voice, "Why were you, Kim Namjoon, who has his base set up near the water bottles-"

Namjoon stiffened, anticipating the sophomore's question before it came.

"Out here by me, Min Yoongi, by the lonely milk carton? There is nothing here save for me and some useless stuff that wouldn't be to your advantage. Hmmm...maybe you wanted to see me? No, that can't be it...maybe you were just out for a morning stroll? But, oh--given your condition I wouldn't think-"

"What do you want, Yoongi?" The brunette's face was less-closed than before, and his eyes had a different light in them. The boy mentally patted himself on the back. Namjoon glared at him in expectation.

"To help you." Yoongi gave him a reassuring smile. "It's the least I could do--you saved my life and I owe it to you...and because I kinda have mad respect for-"

Suddenly, the brunette, while listening to the leaf-boy's reasoning, tripped over his walking stick. It wasn't long before the genius sticker man was sprawled on the plastic floor, groaning in pain. Yoongi watched the whole thing in horror, arms reaching out uselessly as the man fell. A wave of guilt smashed into leaf-boy.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry, Namjoon--I was distracting you and going on-"

Namjoon rolled onto his back, mouth twisted in agony. "Would you help me up ALREADY?!"

"Yeah, yeah! Of course, I-" Yoongi froze, halfway between bending down to help the man. "Wait."

Out of the corner of his eye, the walking stick came at him with blinding speed, smacking the leaf-boy on his shin. Hard.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Namjoon just rolled his eyes, extending his arms and wriggling them angrily as he attempted to sit up. Yoongi crossed his arms, pushing the urge to cry from his leg pain away by squinting his eyes at the other. 

"No. No, you know what? No!" Yoongi took steps away from the other, making his way back toward the milk carton. His mind was full of irritated bugs. They swarmed like rabid flies to his mouth, and he released them out by swearing. "Fuck you, Namjoon. You can't just goddamn pick and choose when I do or don't get to help you. You can't hurt others to get what you want, and you fucking can't keep blowing me off!"

Namjoon opened his mouth to object, but the sophomore cut him off.

"Guess what?! I'm just going to feed you your own medicine, huh! I'll go take a nice fucking nap behind this milk carton while you think about a behavioral tune-up. When I come back--and if you're nice to me--then I'll consider helping your bitchass up!"

Yoongi stormed off not only because he was pissed off at the brunette but because he really needed to cry off the pain of his shin...and he was not about to let Namjoon see him do so.

"WAIT!" Namjoon's voice cracked, and he coughed quickly before yelling again. "HOW DARE YOU, MIN YOONGI! I THOUGHT YOU FUCKING WANTED TO HELP ME!!!!"

Tears started spilling down the sophomore's cheeks.

Damn, his shin really stung. Good thing he was far enough away so that Namjoon couldn't see him.

"I WON'T LET YOU HELP ME!! NO I WON'T! I'LL CRAWL BACK TO THE WATER BOTTLES IF I HAVE TO!"

Yoongi rounded the milk carton for the second time that day, half-expecting Namjoon to jump out at him again. Luckily, no sticker boy was there to make him shit his pants all over again.

"I SWEAR TO GOD. YOONGI-"

And this continued on for quite some time. Eventually, it tapered down to some angry grumbles, then to silence. The leaf-boy felt a weight lift off his shoulders as silence filled the space again.

He sat down, back leaning up against the cold carton of white milk, and closed his eyes.

Pretending to sleep.

+    +    +

Chapter Text

"Yooooooonnnggggggiiiiii please help me, I'll...promise..."

The sophomore lifted his head up from his knees, whining quietly at the dull throb in his shin. Namjoon's voice sounded pained in his ears. The latter hadn't spoken for quite some time, and honestly Yoongi felt a little guilty for lashing out so hard at the elder. He respected Namjoon a lot, both for his academic achievements and for the way he carried himself. The senior was a fast learner; Yoongi knew that if Namjoon didn't act so stubborn he could find a way for them to escape.

So Yoongi first had to teach him how to be nice.

"I'll...promise to be nice! You--I have to pee! Please help me...Yooooonnggggiiiii..."

The younger grumbled as he stood up with his back to the milk carton, dusting off his knees.

Namjoon better improve his behavior. 

"Namjoon!" The leaf-covered boy called out in a not so friendly tone. "I've given it thought, and I think I'll help you."

Namjoon's body came into view as Yoongi rounded the carton. He gasped when he saw how far away the senior had managed to crawl on his own. Namjoon's sprawled position on the fridge floor would have been almost comical, if it weren't for the glimmer of desperation in his eyes.

"Thank God, Yoongi! Oh, come here please-"

Namjoon swiveled to face the other, arms flailing around to get his attention. Yoongi shook his head, but complied nonetheless. If the duo were to escape, there was little gained by prolonging their squabble any longer than needed.

"Give me you hands...yeah, okay-" Yoongi wrist-locked onto the older, squatting down to prepare himself to bear the other's weight. "Let's do this real slow, I don't want you hurt more than you already are."

"Gee," Namjoon mumbled cynically, "It seems your care for me is a bit late, huh?"

Scoffing, Yoongi grumbled as he pulled the senior up. Namjoon leaned heavily upon the other's shoulder as he got a grip on his footing, and Yoongi could tell it was going to be a long day of "bonding" for them.

"Je...sus...Namjoon, what do you eat?" Yoongi huffed as they started ambling slowly towards the water bottles. The sophomore could tell that the other was in pain by the tiny puffs of strained air escaping Namjoon's lips. Moving seemed to be harder for him than Yoongi thought, and it wasn't long before both males were coated in a thin film of sweat, panting heavily.

"C-can we take a br...break...by that cheese?" The younger's legs were trembling under Namjoon's weight. After a decidedly long pause, the senior nodded, hobbling towards the orange block of dairy designated for their resting spot. When they arrived, Yoongi nearly fell out from under Namjoon's arm, leaning against the block of cheese in relief as he rubbed his shoulders. Likewise, Namjoon plopped down onto the fridge floor, pressed against the cool, shiny surface of the wrapped cheese.

"Shouldn't I be the one in pain?" Namjoon smirked, eyes closing in a mixture of exhaustion and agony. Yoongi shot him a glare.

"Hey there, Mr. Bright Guy, you promised to be cordial. Plus! I'm helping you for my own sake, alright? It's not like I'm some tall dude with thick thighs anyway..."

One eye twitched from the boy watching Yoongi. The leaf boy didn't miss the smirk aimed at him as his face heated up.

"I...I m-mean-"

"You think I'm thick? Wow...never heard that one before." Namjoon shrugged, looking down at his thighs in contemplation.

Now it was Yoongi's turn to contemplate. "How could you not have heard that before? Do none of the millions of girls chasing after you tell you things like that?" 

Namjoon laughed as his eyes flicked back to the sophomore. "The girls that surround me usually tell me I'm handsome...a genius...that I have nice lips and a good jawline-"

"Okay, don't get carried away-"

The senior bit his lip. "But they never say I'm thick. I don't think that's a trait girls look for...who only want to be with you for your reputation anyway. Who only want to be with you so they won't have to work in the future--so they can have security. They'd be afraid it would scare me away, that level of bluntness. They'd think that their chances of living a life free of work and problems would dwindle to almost nothing..."

Yoongi was silent. He furrowed his brow, zoning out on the way that his blurry reflection stared back at him in the glassy plastic covering the cheese.

"You...you think that your admirers only want you for your reputation and success? Because-"

Namjoon rolled his eyes. "I don't think. I know."

"Pffffftttt! You can't know that stuff, I'm sure they like you for your personality too-"

"Fifteen."

Yoongi squinted his eyes in confusion. "I'm sorry, I'm not following? Fifteen what?"

Picking at his nails in disinterest, Namjoon mumbled something that Yoongi almost didn't catch.

"Fifteen girls...who only wanted to be with me for my intelligence or status."

Yoongi lowered himself so that he was sitting about a meter away from Namjoon, his back pressed to the cheese. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Screw them. They don't deserve you, anyway."

A pair of shocked mocha eyes lifted to rest on his Yoongi's own surprised ones.

Shit! Why was he being so nice to Namjoon? This guy was a jerk, an ungrateful-

"Thank you...I guess?" 

Namjoon's dimple popped out for only a second, a millisecond, but it was enough time for Yoongi to catch of glimpse. The elder must've sensed this and quickly returned his face to something unreadable, wiggling around uncomfortably on the fridge floor. The action reminded Yoongi of Namjoon's urge to pee. Yoongi pressed his palms onto the cold floor to push himself up, but before he could, Namjoon raised a hand.

"So...do you really think I'm thick?"

Yoongi chortled, standing up and extending a hand. 

"You're as thick as the block of cheese behind us. So thick that if I were a few pounds lighter I wouldn't be able to be your crutch without breaking. So thick that-"

"Okay!" Namjoon closed his eyes tightly before slapping his thighs once with each hand. He shook his head as his voice carried throughout the fridge. "I'm thick! Got it."

As Yoongi took the elder's hands in his own to help him to a standing position, Namjoon eyed him strangely. At first the sophomore didn't notice it, but then again, Yoongi was a bit clueless.

"Hmmm?" Yoongi raised an eyebrow after a while. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Namjoon just looked down at the ground. 

"I...I-"

Yoongi finished the statement for him. "You have to pee super fucking badly?"

A nod. And a sigh.

"Yeah. Let's get away from this cheese."

+     +     +

Chapter Text

Minutes passed and Yoongi was starting to wonder why he had agreed to help Namjoon in the first place. 

"NO! Not towards the water bottles! I know that's my home, but--to the bathroom! The egg carton!"

Yoongi slumped under Namjoon's impressive weight on his shoulder. "What do you mean the bathroom? Where do you even go to the bathroom in here anyway?"

The thought grossed him out. If a bunch of tiny people stuck in his fridge pooped and peed all around his food...

"The eggs! The eggs!" Namjoon motioned with his head, clearly worn out from limping. "Over there, you see? That brown carton there."

Yoongi saw the light brown egg carton sitting just past the water bottles and was suddenly disgusted. He imagined himself waking up, pulling open his own fridge to make an omelet, grabbing some eggs and eating someone else's-

"Hey Namjoon." A leaf particle broke off of Yoongi's outfit and flitted to the floor. "Uhhh...you say you need to go to the bathroom but like...I haven't gone at all since I've been here..." He trailed off.

A tired laugh responded to his unsure question. "Yoongi! Have you been holding it this entire time? Jesus!"

Yoongi gave an awkward side smile as his attention went to his bladder. The urge to use the bathroom was there...buried deeply under the stress he felt when being injected into such a foreign environment. Now that he knew he was safe...

"Yeah, actually I really have to go, but-"

"But you're freaked out because we're pissing around food, correct? Because you think it's nasty and you wouldn't want some mini college kids doing the same thing to your precious food collection?"

Yoongi swallowed in mild surprise. "Well, yeah...how did you know?"

Namjoon looked at him strangely without saying anything. Yoongi focused on the approaching egg carton, trying not to think too much about omelets covered in feces.

Once they got there, Namjoon pointed at the far end of the cardboard carton. Yoongi groaned in exasperation. 

"That's so far away, Joon, it's like you're forcing me to get my steps in today-"

"Do you want to pee directly on the eggs, then? Because we can. They're right here, and that slot down there is empty-"

Yoongi sighed. "Oh, all right. Yeah yeah Mr. Bitch Ass Smart Ass yada yada-"

Namjoon smiled.

After a few more pained and limping steps, the pair reached the end of the egg carton that Namjoon had navigated them to. Upon first sight, nothing appeared wrong or smelled off around that portion of the container. In the back of his mind, the leaf-boy was trying hard to find something nasty or pungent about the situation...but there was no trace of shit to be found.

"What...does your pee like, evaporate around here? I don't see where or how you go to the bathroom."

The senior limped over to a the side of the milk carton, by a tiny tear in the side and a small dark patch. He raised his eyes as if Yoongi should understand, but the sophomore didn't blink. Namjoon sighed.

"See this dark spot? Hmmm? Okay... well, this particular egg carton is made from a recycled paper-type pulp material. That means its absorbency rate is much higher than, say, Styrofoam or some other packaging material."

Slowly, Yoongi's mind cranks began to turn. "Ohhhhh, so you pee in that spot and it absorbs? Like a sponge? Hmmm...still kinda gross."

Namjoon ignored him. "And this hole here? Well this one isn't so simple to explain, but I'll just let you know that egg cartons are already a brownish color--and there are lots of materials here for wiping-"

"But won't the owner of this fridge notice how nasty smelling their eggs are and wonder why there is a brown dirt pile in the empty egg spot? Like-"

Namjoon faced away from the boy, unzipping his pants.

"Woah there, all right, you're peeing...what about my question?" Yoongi quickly spun around to face the water bottles, a pinkish hue rising up his neck. He was not about to see the smartest kid in the entire school's dic-

"No. To answer your question, they don't notice. Because they replace their eggs every week and the pile is so small and meaningless that it doesn't attract attention." 

A soft pitter of liquid against carton. The sound made Yoongi's bladder tighten. He guessed it wasn't that strange of a concept...it was just like peeing on a tree during a camping trip--not that he ever went camping.

"Okay. Excellent." Namjoon spun around, buttoning his pants right above the line of the last sticker before his crotch. "You can go now, I'll wait."

"You say it as if you have another choice." Yoongi chuckled, "Bro, you need me as your crutch."

As Yoongi stepped up to the egg carton, he felt a bit self-conscious. Peeing in public was no biggie in normal circumstances, but somehow with Namjoon there he felt a bit...

Judged. Looked down upon. He hated it. 

To distract himself from those feelings, he decided to breach upon a different subject as he let his bladder release on the egg carton.

"So...Namjoon..."

Namjoon interrupted him. "First I'm Mr. Bitch Ass Smart Ass, then I'm Joon, then I'm bro, now you're using my real name?" And when Yoongi tensed up a bit, Namjoon relented. "Yeah, okay--what is it?"

The words were out before Yoongi could stop himself. 

"When I first got here you were such an asshole to me. Why was that? Why would you help me out if you could give a shit about me?"

Yoongi faced Namjoon after his words were out, eyes scanning the brunette's face for any type of regret there. He was shocked when he saw Namjoon frown and tilt his head to the floor.

"Yoongi..." Namjoon cleared his throat as the leaf-boy zipped up, preparing himself to get under Namjoon's shoulder again so they could walk. "I'm sorry about that."

An overdramatic gasp left Yoongi's lips. "What!? Kim Namjoon is apologizing to me?! What have I done to deserve such wonderful treatment today-"

The senior scoffed, leaning heavily upon the younger. 

"I...well, I'll let you know something, Yoongi. But it's only because you're helping me out here." Namjoon appeared uncomfortable, his face sliding into a look that Yoongi had never seen before. 

"Okay, Joon. I'm all ears."

What was Namjoon going to tell him...?

"You...you weren't the first person to meet me in this fridge..."

WHAT?!

"Actually...b-before you came up here, I was down there with someone...his name was Jin."

Yoongi stopped them and looked Namjoon in the eye. He could sense the sadness behind his words, as if they were painful to say. The sophomore placed a reassuring hand on Namjoon's upper back. "What...what do you mean...did this Jin escape?"

Namjoon flinched at the name and shook his head gently. 

"No, Yoongi. I didn't know him that well, but we grew to be really close...it's actually how I got to this floor of the fridge. He helped me out. But..."

"Don't feel like you have to share anything too personal-" 

Namjoon cut him off. "That fly that was pestering you...well, we used it in our plan to get to this floor. It was dangerous, moronic even, but his blind and beautiful hope of escaping made me listen to his ideas."

Was that a tear in Namjoon's eye?

"W-we tricked the fly to carry us to the next floor...the plan was simple, to say the least. The fly sensed us based off of our smell--you must have figured that out--and so we took off our sweatshirts, covering our skin in peach guts so the fly wouldn't detect us. Then we used the sweatshirts that smelled like us to get it close enough so that we could get onto its back. Somehow we climbed onto it--I was nervous as fuck--its back was all hairy and ticklish-"

He cringed.

"But we did and...we used the other sweatshirts to steer it. The hope was that the thing would fly us all the way to the top of the fridge by the vent, but..."

Namjoon's voice cracked and he wiped irritatedly at a tear on his face. Yoongi was all ears by then, mouth open in disbelief. He tried to think of a way to comfort the senior.

"Do...Namjoon, do you want a hug? I know you didn't finish the story but you look like you need one-"

Namjoon balled his fists. "That fucking fly. He flew up, just as planned, but must've sensed something was off. That his instincts were artificial...I don't even fucking know! We were as high as floor three when that fucker went berserk. Buzzed in quick circles...oh g-god and w-we t-tried s-so hard to--to h-hang on-"

Yoongi pulled the brunette in for a hug, despite being much smaller. Namjoon's arms hung limply by his sides, and he didn't hug back, but the sophomore felt better knowing that he tried his best to comfort the genius.

"A-and h-he...Jin fell...all the way from the third floor to- t-to-"

Namjoon burst out in tears, arms clinging to Yoongi like he was his last hope in the world.

"Jin fell all the way to the first floor...he died, Yoongi. His...his body wasn't m-moving a-and I screamed and w-was knocked off, I only fell to the second f-floor and hurt m-my leg, but h-he didn't d-deserve to d-die...

I did."

Yoongi's eyes were tearing up by then. He lowered himself and Namjoon to the floor, where Namjoon was still clinging to him like he was some emotional support teddy bear. He whispered in the senior's ear, trying to comfort him. 

"Namjoon, don't say that...it's okay, you're safe here and I won't leave you and it's okay to cry, just let it out..."

Namjoon stayed crying for the next hour.

*     *     *    

Chapter Text

"Namjoon? You should probably stop crying now..."

The senior only clung tighter to Yoongi, making soft noises that sounded pained. Sighing, Yoongi patted Namjoon's bad and whispered it's okay repeatedly until the senior finally lifted his head.

"Y-Yoongi? H-how can you be so nice to me when I was a j-jerk?" Namjoon choked out between tears. "Why didn't you just leave me back there--I deserved it, I..."

"Namjoon! Stop! There's something that exists in this world and it's called forgiveness! Okay?"

Yoongi gently pet Namjoon's hair, hoping the other wouldn't think it was too weird or flinch away. Luckily, the elder melted into Yoongi's touch, sniffling as he came to himself.

"Yeah...okay. I get it. But...can you promise me one thing, Yoongi?" Namjoon's gaze brushed up Yoongi's body to stop on his eyes.

"What's that?"

"After we break out of this fridge...stay away from me."

Yoongi's jaw dropped.

"What?! I--I thought we were friends? Wha-"

Namjoon eased his way up to a sitting position. He winced slightly before putting a hand on Yoongi's shoulder. "I'm bad news...just because I'm smart and stuff doesn't mean you want to be friends with me..."

"That's not why I'm friends with you! For the last time, Namjoon, I'm not just sticking by your side because I think I can take advantage of your brains! I'm not that shallow..."

Smiling sadly, the senior motioned for them to stand up. He wiped at his eyes before taking Yoongi's hands and slowly getting to his feet. "I...I guess...but-"

"No buts! I'm your friend, and I'm by your side--whether you want me or not!" Yoongi pouted, pretending to be angry. In reality, he was just a bit put down by Namjoon's existing low confidence in him. 

Yoongi would just have to prove it to the senior. 

"Haha..." Namjoon turned his head away, a genuine smile on his face. 

"What? What's so funny?" Yoongi began walking with the taller male towards the water bottles. He bit his lip to muffle the exhaustion creeping into his bones as they limped.

"Well..." Namjoon said something else, but he mumbled it so the other couldn't hear.

"What?" Yoongi leaned closer into the other's face. "I didn't catch that."

Namjoon quickly met his eyes and then looked away. "You're, uh, sorta cute is what I said--I mean, your words--! Well, what you said before...ugh, never mind."

Yoongi smiled shyly but said nothing more as they approached the water bottles. As they got closer, the sophomore noticed how homely the area seemed, despite it being so isolated and cold in the fridge.

"Wow..." Yoongi's breath caught in his throat as he got a look into the mind of Kim Namjoon's resting place. "You really...got carried away there didn't you?"

Namjoon smiled as he jumped the last few paces to sit on his makeshift couch of folded cardboard and wrappers tied down to the caps of water bottles. To his left was a string of stickers molded intricately into a blanket of sorts. On top of that, it seemed that Namjoon had pieced together scraps of paper and folded them into little origami cranes that dotted his home space nicely. The refrigerator door lurked behind the wall of water bottles, obscuring Namjoon's special area from whoever the fridge belonged to. 

The slightly shaded area fenced in by water bottles was cool...yet somehow Yoongi found warmth in the sporadic décor and little nuances in Namjoon's style. Yoongi's face must have betrayed the dumbfounded feeling in his heart, because Namjoon pointed and laughed.

"I might have gotten carried away with the cranes...I guess I'm just lucky that whoever owns this fridge never gets thirsty? Honestly, I don't know why they would have purchased so many water bottles if they weren't going to drink them..."

Yoongi shrugged. "Security? I don't know, I have a bunch of bullshit in my apartment that's just sitting in my cupboards, but somehow I can't find it in me to throw it away..."

Namjoon patted the seat next to him. "Nostalgic much?"

The sophomore sighed as he finally rested his sore hamstrings on the warm cap of the water bottle. He twirled his pale fingers around the leaves that were already wilting on his arms. "Yeah...I guess you could call it that...but it's more like...hmmm, how do I put it...?"

"Loneliness?"

Namjoon adjusted in his spot, waiting.

"Yeah."

A comfortable silence enveloped the two college kids sitting on their plastic caps. The fridge hummed low and Yoongi kicked his legs back and forth listlessly. Finally, Namjoon cleared his throat.

"Yoongi?"

The sophomore glanced up. "Hmm?"

"You aren't lonely anymore."

A new, bright wave of confidence radiated off of Namjoon now, and Yoongi felt the admiration he originally felt for Namjoon come back full strength. All it took was for someone to believe in Namjoon, to accept him not for his brains, but for who he was--and the most important one--

To forgive him.

"Yes, Namjoon. I guess I'm not lonely at the moment. And neither are you."

The senior nodded, lips pursed in thought. His leg was likely still paining him greatly, and the emotional distress he had suffered before was painted across his face...but he seemed genuinely glad.

"Okay, so...before we think up our grand escape plan to break out of this motherfucker-"

"Oooohhh, Kim Namjoon is whipping out the swears-"

"...we should eat something--I'm starving."

As if the words physically punched him, Yoongi's stomach growled loudly at the thought of eating. He was in a fridge, a goddamn holy shrine for food worshipers...yet he hadn't eaten much since he'd arrived.

"God! No wonder I felt so weak. Must be the low glucose levels...the metabolizing of lipids within ourselves and the release of keratin--"

"Ketones," Namjoon corrected.

Yoongi blushed. "Shit! I was trying to sound all smart in front of you, and now...well let's just say I did it because I was parched-"

"Famished." Namjoon did it again.

Yoongi groaned, rolling his eyes as he stood up. "I give up. What do you want to eat in here? This floor doesn't have as much access to raw fruits and veggies like the first one..." He trailed off.

"Want some eggs? I'm sure they're super fresh." Namjoon joked, sounding like a worn salesman.

"Fuck those shit-covered things. Let's eat something substantial, like a pizza, or a sandwich-"

Crossing his arms, the senior clicked his tongue. "Not happening in here, Yoongs. Look around you...this isn't some grab-and-buy deli."

Yoongs?

"I...uh, don't...um..."

Namjoon apparently didn't notice how embarrassed Yoongi was acting--how much one word rolling from the senior's lips made him falter. "I guess we'll have to just eat cheese...what do you think?"

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Yoongi of what to say to Namjoon. This time, he would be sure not to mess it up.

"I...I think..." Yoongi pointed at the cans of Coke and Mountain Dew that towered like statues far in the distance.

"What?" Namjoon lifted an eyebrow, not understanding.

"Namjoon...I think you're soda cute too."

+     +     +

Chapter Text

Yoongi stood in front of the block of cheese, frowning.

"Soooooo, how do you suppose we cut this plastic off? You don't have any tools, or-"

Namjoon chortled. "You haven't cut the cheese before? Let me show you..."

It took Yoongi a while before he got the joke, immediately throwing his hands up to protect his nose. "Oh, OH no thanks! No, Namjoon, you don't have to-"

PPPPFFFFFFTTTT!

Namjoon smirked sinisterly as Yoongi grimaced, burying his nose into his hands. The senior just leaned against the block of cheese, watching.

"Oh YUCK NAMJOON! That sounded disgusting! What have you been eating recently because it smells so bad-"

"Yoongi." Namjoon rolled his eyes and pushed his hair back. "You do realize I made that sound with my mouth, right?"

Namjoon demonstrated the sound again. It was atrociously obvious.

"Oh."

Yoongi facepalmed.

"Damn you, Joon. I've had enough of this trickery! My stomach is empty and I want to eat!" Yoongi pounded a fist against the cold plastic film on the cheese. His hand bounced back, and nothing was accomplished. 

"Punching won't break through this film. We need something sharp to cut a small corner off."

Yoongi examined the film like a scientist, scrutinizing every inch as he rubbed his chin. He felt the plastic with the back of his hand and frowned. 

"But won't the owners of this fridge see that there is a hole in the corner of their cheese block and come to the conclusion that there is a mite invasion in their fridge?! Then they'll pour poison in here! Maybe even mouse traps, and we'll get sick! How will we escape then??? How will I feed Noodle!?"

While Yoongi had his partial mental breakdown, Namjoon just watched him, amused. His injured leg was currently propped against his crutch as he leaned against the orange rectangle. 

"That won't happen."

Yoongi glared at him. "How are you so sure? Just because you got away with it once doesn't mean that the owners won't find out-"

"They won't, Yoongi. If the owner of this fridge is careless enough to let a huge, annoying fly buzz around their food constantly, they won't notice the small holes in their food. Plus, nowadays companies are super cheap with their packaging, which often means defects in the plastics covering certain foods. A tiny, unnoticeable hole and a slightly misshapen block of cheese shouldn't deter their attention too much. If it does, they'll throw it away and blame the company. I mean, think about it. If your food was marked or damaged, would you closely inspect the inside of your fridge for human invaders?"

Yoongi punched the cheese block again as an answer.

"That's what I thought." Namjoon studied their surroundings with heightened interest, clicking his tongue suddenly. "Ahhh, I know how we can open this."

Yoongi looked around as well, but didn't see the solution anywhere. Namjoon sensed his confusion and aided him, pointing at the soda cans in the distance.

"Uuuhhhh, you want us to drink soda instead of eating this cheese? Wha-"

"No!" Namjoon punched the cheese again, mocking Yoongi's signature glum face. "We need to get the sharp part of the can--you know, that opens the can of soda for people to drink--in order to cut the edge of this cheese wrapper off."

The sophomore gazed up at Namjoon in a stupor.

How could he think of that so quickly?

"But," Yoongi started, seeing a huge flaw in the problem. "How...do you suppose we get on top of the can? Last time I checked, we're still midgets compared to that can-"

"That's where you come in, Yoongs."

The younger started to protest, but instantly closed his mouth once he processed the nickname. 

Yoongs.

"A-alright...I guess I can--uh, find a way up there?"

"I'll help you, of course. Let's get over there and I'll explain my plan."

Yoongi nodded, still unsure of how this was to play out. His stomach incessantly growling was the only motivation he needed to accept Namjoon's words and follow him...yet-

"So..." The leaf-boy clung to the sticker boy, helping him amble towards the soda cans in the distance. "You do realize that I made a rope before out of stems--it might help us somehow-"

"You left that rope behind, remember? When I helped you to this floor...but I think it should still be hanging there...nobody has opened the fridge since then, so I'm guessing on the mortal world it's night time right now or something..." Namjoon shrugged on top of his crutch, and Yoongi giggled as Namjoon stumbled off balance.

"Maybe...maybe once we get to the soda can I can quick run to the place I climbed up and retrieve it? That might help us a lot."  Yoongi turned to Namjoon before changing his tone to a teasing one. "Unless you'll be lonely without me."

"Nope. I'm perfectly fine hanging out by the soda can while you get it."

Internally, the sophomore cursed at Namjoon's cool answer. He wanted the senior to complain or at least agree to it. Instead he got a classic Namjoon response. 

When they finally arrived at the old can of Coke, Yoongi made sure to lightly set Namjoon down. A whoosh of air escaped the senior's lips as he sank against the can, back slightly hunched over from fatigue. 

"Okay, Mr. Yoongi--go and get the rope now. Be quick." Namjoon clasped his hands together patiently in his lap, eyeing Yoongi with something in his eyes. 

Something that Yoongi couldn't quite comprehend.

"Yeah, okay so, yeah. I'll uh, be right back and, yeah, I'll get the rope now so just stay put and-"

"Go already!" Namjoon's dimple popped out on his cheek before it receded. "I'd love to watch you stand there and babble all day, but we don't have time."

Yoongi saluted him, a satisfied feeling entering his chest. "Affirmative, sir. I'll be back at once!"

The green leaves of Yoongi's outfit wrinkled as he bolted into the distance towards the site of his arrival. After only moments, he spotted the stem rope clinging desperately to the edge of the fridge floor. A wave of vertigo gripped him as he stood only steps away from a dangerous plummet to the first floor. Just the sight of the peaches down there made him want to throw up, memories of the fly plaguing his thoughts as he unfastened the rope from its spot. It only took a few seconds for him to roll up the remainder of the rope, hauling it over his shoulder. 

"Fuck that stupid floor. Fuck this floor. Y'know what bitches!? We're going to floor THREE! That's RIGHT, FLOOR THREE TODAY--AND YOU CAN'T STOP US!"

Nobody was listening to Yoongi's declaration.

But that didn't stop Yoongi from feeling a sudden surge of motivation to make it happen, no matter how exhausted it would make him. He needed to get them out, for Namjoon's sake.

When he returned, the senior must've spotted the determination in the way Yoongi's mouth was set. Tilting his head, he opened his mouth to ask. Yoongi beat him to it.

"Namjoon, we're getting to the next floor today. I have a plan."

Namjoon kept silent as Yoongi fastened a lasso out of the stem rope. The loop ended up being tied around his waist, and the other part was thrown up towards the top of the soda can. 

"Come on!" Yoongi yelled through gritted teeth. "Come on just latch on--shit!" 

The rope continued to fall, again and again as it failed to get hold of the soda opener. Namjoon lifted himself off the ground and hobbled forward at the sophomore's despair.

"Here. Allow me. Someone once told me I've got a mad throwing arm. Plus, you aren't getting it to loop because the angle is all wrong." Namjoon peeled the end of the rope out of Yoongi's hands, eliciting an arm-cross from the sophomore.

One toss later, the rope was secured.

"Fuck you Joon, how can you be a cripple and still throw better than me?" Yoongi lightly punched the senior's arm.

"It's just physics, Yoongi--you see, the way you were throwing it-"

"Spare me the details." Yoongi felt inclined to pat Namjoon on the back hard. Once, twice. "I've got more important business to attend to, bud." 

Namjoon laughed at the sophomore's overconfidence as he stepped up to the soda can. "And how, Yoongi, are you going to climb without my stickers?"

Embarrassed, Yoongi spun around and frowned. "I was just about to ask, actually."

Snickering to himself, the senior peeled off a section of his outfit and handed it to Yoongi for gripping the smooth metal surface of the can. The sophomore took it silently.

Then, he turned to the can, ready to climb. Ready to climb up and get the sharp can opener off for cutting their cheese block. Ready to pave the way for their ascent later that day to the second floor.

One of Yoongi's hands gripped the sticker as he launched himself upwards, stem-rope wrapped tightly around his waist. 

He was going to do this.

"Um, Yoongi-"

"What now, Namjoon?" The sophomore edged his way up the can, using his dwindling arm strength to pull himself up the rope. The stickers helped his body stick close to the can.

"Can I help you? In any way? It seems like you're struggling-"

"No, not now-"

Then, the unexpected. 

The fridge door, ever so slowly, hinged open, allowing a warm blast of air from outside envelop the two males.

"FUCK!" Yoongi twisted his head to look down at Namjoon. "WHAT DO I DO?"

Namjoon eyed the ginormous hand that was snaking its way into the fridge...heading straight for the soda can. 

"YOONGI! THE HAND, IT'S COMING FOR THE SODA!" 

Yoongi nearly peed his pants.

"WHAT?!"

Fingers wrapping around the cool metal shocked Yoongi into the present. He looked up, up at the floor that was only meters above him. 

"Namjoon!" Yoongi gave the senior the most serious look he could muster. "Grab the rope!"

The senior gave a hesitant start, adrenaline and fear flushing his normally calm features. "WHAT?"

"Just do it! I have plan!"

Namjoon stumbled forward into the soda can that was being taken hostage by a thirsty human. He reached up with a long arm and managed to hook his hand around the stem rope right before the can was lifted from the ground.

"AHHHH! YOONGI I'M--WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

"NO! NAMJOON, STAY CALM! WE JUST HAVE TO JUMP AT THE RIGHT MOMENT--HERE IT COMES!"

Their surroundings moved below them, the water bottles shrinking away from their dangling feet. 

"THREE!"

Namjoon's injured leg banged against the can as it was tilted by the human. 

"TWO!"

Yoongi tore at the rope clinging to his waist, breaking the only thing holding him to the can. 

"ONE!"

Namjoon prayed that he wouldn't end up like Seokjin when this was all done.

"JUMP!"

And the two boys flew towards the third floor. 

+     +     +

Chapter Text

Yoongi landed on his stomach, clutching hard to the rope piece that was still attached to his waist. The air rushed out of him in a painful puff, and the last thing he remembered before turning on his back was Namjoon's scream. Then, all was dark. 

...

..

.

"Y...oon...gi! Yoongi!"

A caramel-crisp voice caked with fear spoke in Yoongi's ear. His mind reached out for the voice, but it was difficult with the incessant pounding behind his eyes. Oh! It hurt him so much.

"Yoongi! Oh god please wake up-"

The leaf-boy stirred as the pain subsided, only to return with merciless force.  He slipped back into the blackness.

"Am I...going to have to..."

A strange heat centered over his body--felt distantly by the leaf-covered boy. What was that odd feeling, that odd sensation of proximity? Fuck! Why wasn't he waking up?

"I'm sorry in advance, Yoongi."

Inside, the sophomore cringed. Was he dying? Why couldn't he escape from this endless bubble of no return? Why couldn't he wake up! There was nothing more he wanted than to just open his eyes--but he couldn't.

Suddenly, a light tickling wormed its way onto his lips. After a few moments he felt the hurt within him disappear as...air was pumped into him? 

Wait-

Yoongi's eyes shot open. Namjoon's face was only a centimeter above his, brown eyes focused only on one thing: his lips. The senior, unaware that Yoongi was awake, continued to administer CPR to the male under him. 

Rabid dogs flew against Yoongi's heart; there was no way he could have braced himself to feel Kim Namjoon's lips against his own, even if it was to safe his life. His first kiss--taken by the Kim Namjoon!

When he escaped the fridge, he'd be sure to tell Noodle, his dog. Or post it on his blog. Or hang up a huge sign that said: "I've kissed Kim Namjoon before, what have you done?"

"Yoongi?" A breath of air fanned against his face as the senior noticed the boy's eyes creaking open. "Yoongi? Are you okay?"

Pretending to be out of it (and he was, because Namjoon was still too close for comfort) Yoongi shook his head. He grumbled out a few words with a shaky voice. 

"Fancy meeting you here..." Yoongi gingerly reached up to touch his lips, dizzy with the sensation left behind. He effortfully took in a breath of air and winced as his heart beat harshly. "You...did mouth to mouth...?"

Was he that god damn whipped for a man he just met?

As if on cue, Namjoon blushed profusely and pulled himself away from the sophomore, clearing his throat. Yoongi thought the embarrassment flushing up his neck was endearing. 

"Um...yeah, well--just did what I had to do to...save a friend."

A small giggle burst from Yoongi's lips as he attempted to sit up. A new wave of pain bubbled beneath his skull as he struggled to sit up. Namjoon instinctively reached out to help him, but his hand froze halfway to the other boy. 

Yoongi noticed this but said nothing. Namjoon clearly felt uncomfortable because of his previous action, hoping that Yoongi didn't see or realize his awkwardness. However, the leaf boy was keen to Namjoon's body language, and decided to lighten the mood a bit. 

"I never realized," Yoongi plastered a hand to his forehead, which ached, "That my first kiss would be taken by the Kim Namjoon! I guess I have something to brag about now..."

Namjoon choked. Yoongi continued.

"Hey now! Don't tell me I have to give you CPR now, Joon! First, I don't really know how--Second...well, there is no second I guess. I don't mind doing it, really-"

"Yoongi!" Namjoon finally squeaked out, blushing profusely. "That...wasn't a kiss! I was giving you CPR and you were unconscious. Naturally a kiss is only real if both people participating are aware of it!"

The senior moved to stand, then realized the situation his leg was in. Although he managed to move around most of the time on the second floor by putting a little weight on it, he couldn't even do that now. His leg was numb with the shock of the jump and unusable to place weight upon. Namjoon huffed as he attempted time and time again, until eventually he plopped back down next to Yoongi. 

The sophomore smiled largely, wavering to and fro. 

"I'll have you know, I was aware of it. I'm counting it as a kiss, Joon." Yoongi smiled evilly at Namjoon who was now more frustrated than ever. "Also, I don't think we should move too much right now. Especially in your...uh, state. And mine. Let's just rest here."

"I won't rest until you drop that kiss thing. If...if you were aware of it as you said, then why didn't you push me...push me away...?"

Namjoon was adamant in his denial of the 'kiss.' He titled his head as the sophomore continued to stare at him, expecting him to come up with the answer on his own. When Namjoon could think of nothing, Yoongi stepped in.

"You're smart, can't you figure it out? Ugh, clearly not." Yoongi rolled his eyes in mock irritation. "Also, why are you getting so riled up over a small kiss? It's not like you haven't made out with tons of those hot babes who linger around you everywhere you go..."

Namjoon's mouth parted as the words sunk in. It took him a moment before he vehemently shook his head and squinted his eyes at the sophomore. 

"No, you have it all wrong. I'm not some player just because people want me. I'm not like that."

Yoongi pursed his lips. "Ooooohhhkkaaayyy..."

Namjoon pounded his fist lightly on the ground. 

"I mean it! I don't go around making out with people just because I have power! I thought you knew me! I don't take advantage of people like that!"

Nodding slowly, Yoongi held up a hand. "All right. I get it. But don't act like you're a virgin to this kind of stuff at least...the Kim Namjoon can't be that modest."

Yoongi closed his eyes, waiting for some kind of affirmation from the senior. He waited, expecting a sassy reply. 

When it was oddly quiet for an extraordinary amount of time, doubt creeped into the leaf boy's brain. 

Why wasn't he saying anything...was he really-

"Namjoon?" Yoongi tried again, watching as the senior's eyes averted from his own. He repeated his last words again. "You...you can't be that modest...right...?"

Silence.

Namjoon ducked his head down. 

The sophomore's eyes lit up.

"WHAT! AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL EXPERIENCED AND HAD KISSED SO MANY PEOPLE! OH MY GOSH WAS I REALLY KIM NAMJOON'S FIRST KISS!? THIS IS TERRIFIC FOR ME--AGghh owww..."

A sharp pain broke through Yoongi's epiphany. He shrunk into his hands, gritting his teeth as Namjoon smirked on the sideline.

"Serves you right for embarrassing me."

Was all he said. The sophomore could tell Namjoon's pride took a huge blow and he was hurting on the inside. Of course, he didn't want to show it though, hardly saying a word. 

Yoongi scoffed and looked around them, finally appreciating the fact that they had successfully made it to the third floor. Namjoon seemed to sense this too, for his attention turned to the change in environment around them. 

"Wow..." 

"New foods..."

Both males studied the various foodstuffs around them before looking back at each other. Yoongi was the first to speak. 

"We did it, Joon. We made it here!" His excitement was hardly contained; he bounced his legs around wildly on the fridge floor. "Now all we have to do is make it to the fourth floor and then out the vent and then we're golden, we're free!"

Namjoon couldn't help but smile, nodding to convince himself of the words. If getting to the third floor caused them this much harm, then how were they going to get to the fourth floor without dying?

"Yeah...but first, I think we should go over there, by that thawing meat. I need to ice my leg and you should ice your...uh, head."

The sophomore nodded, but popped an eyebrow. "How are you going to get there? I think I'll pass out again if I try to drag you there--not saying that I would mind another round of CPR from you or anything-"

"Yoongi!"

The senior widened his eyes in a warning, yet Yoongi could see the edges of his lips twitching. 

Hmmm...

"Okay, okay! But how do you suppose we get you there?"

Namjoon frowned, looking around himself for something to help. He no longer had a walking stick and the thawing beef was too far to hop on one leg. Yoongi could crawl or walk there by himself, but Namjoon was tired, almost exhausted from the rush of adrenaline they had experienced.

He would need some encouragement if he was to drag himself all that way. He sighed before speaking.

"I...I guess I can pull myself there on my stomach. I'm tired as all hell, but if I had some encouragement or..." He trailed off, feeling a bit stupid once the words were out of his mouth. 

Yoongi's face brightened. 

"Yes! I can do that! I'll be your cheerleader--or, if you want to I can give you CPR so that you have enough oxygen to get there-"

"My god, Yoongs! Shut it, will you? Let's go, now I'm pissed enough to drag myself there."

And the two made their way to the frozen meat. 

But Yoongi didn't miss the small smile and blush that touched Namjoon's features as he pulled himself along the fridge floor to their destination. 

+     +     +

Chapter Text

The cold, makeshift ice pack cooling down his sore head felt nice to the sophomore in college. Tiny flecks of ice rubbing off of the thawing meat package fell across his face from time to time, but other than that he was comfortable. 

Namjoon, on the other hand, kept whining. 

"This is so uncomfortable! Why do I have to lay on my back--why can't we just switch spots so I can sit up and rest my leg? Why do you get the indented portion?"

The leaf boy chortled, amazed that Namjoon still had so much energy left in him after dragging himself all that way along the inside of the fridge. 

"Because I got here first! First come first served! You snooze you lose! Early bird gets the-"

"Shut the fuck up, Yoongi."

Namjoon rolled his eyes at Yoongi's smirking expression and tried to make himself comfortable against the edible ice pack he was currently resting his leg upon. Every squirm cost him another groan, to which Yoongi clearly didn't enjoy.

"Ugh, fine! Come here--you can have my spot."

The senior cheered as he slid himself across to Yoongi's spot, bumping their hips together as he moved along the ice pack with a cheesy smile.

"You know, Yoongs. Even if we don't make it out of this fridge ever...at least my last moments on Earth were fun with you. I didn't have to spend them studying some bullshit or putting up with fake people, and that's one of the most freeing feelings ever-"

"Woah!" Yoongi tried to make himself comfortable in Namjoon's old spot, but found it was very difficult. "Do I look like some Dr. Phil to you? Why are you suddenly being so...so..."

"End-of-life eloquent? That's actually a real thing that happens to people when they feel the end coming on-"

Yoongi reached over and punched Namjoon's uninjured leg, frowning. "Joon! Shut it already! You're literally always effluent anyway-"

"Eloquent."

"YAH, SHUT UP!"

Yoongi laughed angrily while Namjoon played with the tiny beads of perspiration on the plastic coating. It was nice just relaxing finally, after trying so hard to get to the third floor. Even if they weren't talking, the silence was comfortable. For once the gentle buzzing of the fridge vent wasn't so annoying to their tired ears. Yoongi felt himself nodding off when the other suddenly spoke.

"Yoongi."

"What?"

"Want to play a game?"

The sophomore sat up to gauge whether Namjoon was being serious or not. When the senior not as much as gave him a smile, Yoongi felt more curious.

"Well, we can't move. So it better be either an imaginary game or a spoken one."

Namjoon adjusted himself on the cold surface and brushed his hair back. For once the leaf-boy just stopped to admire the way Namjoon looked so cuddlable and he nearly choked without saying anything. It wasn't like Namjoon could read his thoughts, so why was he acting all shy?

"Spoken it is." Namjoon's caramel voice came with a little chuckle that gave Yoongi's heart a leap.

God damn it, stop being so whipped for the guy-

"So..." Yoongi fully sat up, rubbing his tired eyes with the back of his hands. "What are the rules for this...game?"

Namjoon also sat up, wincing when his injured leg clumsily fell against his healthy one. "Ahhh...let's see if you get the rules by this round."

The sophomore waited for Namjoon to continue.

"Okay...first round...I enjoy staying up late watching Netflix...I hate it when a hamburger has sesame seeds on the bun...I don't want to graduate college."

Ohhhhh. Namjoon was playing two truths and a lie. 

"Hmmm...what the hell. I have to find the lie in that? Those were so random, Joon. And too easy!"

Yoongi kicked the ice and thought. Namjoon not wanting to finish college? Not a chance.

"The lie is the last one. You aren't working super hard at university for nothing."

Namjoon glanced at him. A strange look passed over his face. It made Yoongi think perhaps he wasn't right after all.

"That's true. I don't work super hard for nothing. But I also don't want to graduate."

Yoongi scratched his nose. "So it was the truth? Wha-" 

"The lie is the Netflix one. I don't really watch much because whenever I watch shows I get too lost in my thoughts so that it's not enjoyable-"

"Wait, what do you mean you don't want to graduate? You're a senior taking on a crazy workload of three majors, don't you want it to be over?"

Namjoon stiffened. His hand came to lightly rest on his thigh.

"No."

Yoongi waited for him to elaborate, but he never did. Something about the topic must have been sensitive for the senior. 

"Okay...my turn, I guess...?

The sophomore tapped his knee in thought. 

"Hmmm. Alright. So...I have 15 unopened boxes of mac n cheese that I keep for back up food  in my apartment...I hate anything to do with earwax and things crawling in ears...I sleep on my left side every night."

Namjoon cracked his neck. Yoongi caught a glimpse of him chewing his lip in silence for a few minutes before responding confidently.

"The last one. Weren't you sleeping on your back behind the milk carton before?"

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "That's a smart guess, but in here there are no nights so it doesn't count. I sleep on my left side in my bedroom every night."

"Ughhhh." Namjoon exhaled a long breath. "So it's the second one then? The earwax thing? I mean, earwax isn't that gross, right-?"

"YUUUUUUCCCCCK!" 

Wriggling his fingers around anxiously, the leaf-boy swiveled his head back and forth to truly show how disgusted he was by the topic. Namjoon laughed.

"So it's the first one. But that totally sounds like something you would do, I'm surprised that's not true."

Yoongi snapped once in victory. "Mhhmm. I got you there, Joon. I actually keep 20 boxes under my kitchen sink pantry--just in case of an apocalypse...or, you know, low bank funds."

The senior crossed his arms, turning away from the other to ignore him. Yoongi, however, could hear his chuckles reflecting off the meat package towards him. 

"Oh wow, Yoongi. You are just one...interesting guy..."

The sophomore sat up, clearly loving the attention. "Thanks, bro...you'll just have to catch up with me bro, get on my level bro."

Namjoon quickly took back what he said. 

"Uninteresting!" 

They sat in silence for a while, until Yoongi's stomach rumbled. Namjoon and Yoongi shared a look. 

"I think it's about dinner time...shall we look around the floor for some food?"

Namjoon nodded, determined.

"Yes, let's get something to eat."

+     +      +

Chapter Text

Rumbles left the leaf-boy's stomach rather loudly. 

In his mind he was spy, a scope for food. While Namjoon rested back at the frozen beef, he was on a mission to find any kind of sustenance. 

His tired legs carried him around the floor, where he saw many things. To his dismay, though, none of them were very exciting.

To his left sat a row of beer cans. Which he would totally be up for consuming, if they could manage to get them open...maybe another time.

To his right he saw a giant pickle jar, which he knew would be another miracle to open. Who made pickle jars out of glass and rude plastic covers? How were babies and the elderly supposed to enjoy a nice pickle if the damn things were inaccessible?

Yoongi sighed, bored with the foods he saw so far. The owner of this fridge must be some poor college kid like him.

Doing a barrel roll off to the side (in order to strengthen the role he was playing in his mind) Yoongi brushed himself off and looked up.  He finally saw something that gave him hope.

A giant loaf of bread!

Covered in delectable plastic, easy to tear, and even simpler to eat!

He ran up to the brown plastic-wrapped bag. Brown eyes scanned the packaging fast, and his hands clenched and unclenched in excitement.

It wasn't just any bread...it was cinnamon raisin!

"Yeeeesss! Fuck, ye-eeess!"

Yoongi twirled around while singing. His stomach was singing too, he realized, when its rumbling became louder. His mouth watered expectantly as he placed his hands on the big bolded words.

cinnamon raisin

"Wow...this is nice. Joon will love this!"

Glancing quickly at his untrimmed nails, he squatted down to resume the spy position he was originally going for. He grasped the wrist of his right hand tightly. 

"Mission Get That Bread commence...yes, sargeant, the nail maneuver is in motion--I repeat-"

Yoongi, while in the midst of cutting a clean hole through the plastic with only his pointer finger nail, cried out when his nail took a detour.

"My nail broke! Fuck!"

Internally, he slapped himself for breaking character. Squinting his eyes and straightening the leaf-cuffs of his spy outfit, he stalked around the delectable bread, thinking.

"Sargeant...mission failed. We ran into failing infrastructure...yes, I assure you, it won't happen again..."

Yoongi placed his invisible walkie talkie back into his side pocket. His stomach was going crazy now, both with hunger and with disappointment that he couldn't pull off the cool move he saw James Bond or Anakin Skywalker do in the movies. He just wanted to cut a clean hole in the side-

"What...is that?"

The sophomore sprinted with his head low, hoping on the inside that he didn't look like those nerds in his elementary recess who would run around like Naruto. Pushing the image out of his mind, he cleared his throat as he approached the object.

"A twist tie! Perfect...now, if I could just reach it..."

The inner spy in Yoongi came to the light as a thought popped into his head. In order to get to the twist tie, he would either have to wall jump or scale the sides of the thing.

He opted for wall jumping, both because A) it was harder, B) it would please his sargeant very much, and C) climbing was lame.

"Code New Plan, chief-" Yoongi grabbed his invisible walkie talkie with confidence. "We're going in for Operation Mario 64. I won't fail you this time."

No response came back from the walkie talkie, but Yoongi didn't need to hear how cool he was from his boss. Before he could carry out his plan, however, he needed to do some precautionary stretches.

Because he didn't want to break a hip! Or even worse...end up like Namjoon back at base.

Some hamstring pulls, ankle rolls, and quadricep flexes later, the sophomore was all prepared to smash his goal. It wouldn't be too hard, right? Why, if it was hard, would every single video game include a wall jump in the controls if it was impossible to do in real life?

This thought brought a new wave of confidence to the boy as he stepped back to get a running start. 

"Let's get this bread!"

The screech left his lips as he took powerful steps towards the packaging. His feet bounded into the air right before he reached the bread. Yoongi bit down on his lip in concentration as his foot bounced off, allowing him extra air time.

Arms flying up, he yelled out in concentration as the twist tie got closer in his vision. Reaching out, the red plastic wire was only inches from his opened hands.

Closer...closer-

GRAB!

Yoongi's hands closed around the twist tie as he successfully completed the wall jump. His eyes lit up instantly, mouth letting out a victory cry.

"FUCK YEAH! OH YEAH I DID IT-"

His celebration was cut short by the hard fall he took to the ground. The twist tie fell out of his clenched hands onto the hard floor. He groaned and clutched at his side in pain. As he rolled onto his back to celebrate, he nearly shit his pants.

The bread bag was open! And a piece of leaning bread was about to fall on top of him!

"Woah there, Lassie!" The leaf-boy quickly rolled to the left to avoid being smothered. "Haven't your parents taught you manners? It's rude to hop on someone right off the bat, even if they are packing. Even if it's ingrained in your Deoxoriba Nuclearbomb Acid. Oh wait...that's not right... Ugh, DNA. I forgot the stupid full name--pretend I didn'tsaythat...Aite?"

Yoongi stood up, dusting himself off. He walked over to the twist tie and picked it up. The red color complimented his outfit quite nicely, he decided, before he added the tie to his outfit. He wrapped the red plastic strand around his midsection like a girl scout sash. 

The bread piece finally fell, zapping Yoongi out of his sash adjustments.

"OH! Gosh, forgot about you Raisin Bread." 

He headed over to the large slice, grateful that this piece had plenty of cinnamon swirls and raisins. Typically, cheap brands would cheat consumers out of one or the other. It ticked him off, yet, he couldn't be mad because he was starving.

"First come, first served!"

Yoongi ripped a chunk of bread off of the slice, shoving it into his mouth. He barely tasted it before going back for more, sating his ravenous hunger.

"Gmmpph! Tmhisss is reeamlly GOOD!"

Yoongi swallowed some more before deciding on bringing the slice back to base for Namjoon. After all, the other male was just as famished as him. 

Maybe Namjoon would even compliment Yoongi on his new red sash?

The sophomore spy only hoped so as he carried Lassie back to base with a pep in his step.

+     +     +

Chapter Text

"JESUS CHRIST!"

Namjoon's words flowed freely into Yoongi's praise-expectant ears. As he dragged the slice of bread to the waiting senior, he smiled brightly, the feeling of being on top of the world coating his teeth.

"Yessiree, I do deliver." Yoongi dropped the massive slice of bread between them. Namjoon's face lit up as he scrambled towards the delectable square of carbs. "Whole grain or white? Butter or jam? A hug or a ki-"

"Shut up, Yoongi. I can see that this is cinnamon raisin."

But Namjoon's words carried no kick, no venom in them. They were teasatory, meant to joke around. The leaf-boy giggled, sitting down next to Namjoon who dug into the tearable bread. 

The sophomore cleared his throat. "Ehm! EHm! Yes, Joon, I already know what you're thinking...yes, I did get that bread."

With a mouthful of the bread, Namjoon rolled his eyes. His leg was propped out to the side, pain already forgotten. 

"Who birthed you to act like this..." He groaned, munching on the delectable wheat. "Anyway, what do you suppose we do now?"

Yoongi was caught off guard. He scratched at his chest timidly before kneeling on the ground next to the senior.

"Fuck. Didn't think about that. We should probably try to get to the next floor, right?"

The sophomore stuffed his face full of bread. The possibility of them climbing up to the final fridge floor seemed null. Namjoon was injured pretty badly...Yoongi lost his stem rope...

They were both pretty discouraged. Namjoon nodded glumly, chewing on a raisin.

"Well duh we should...but how?"

The sophomore thought. He didn't realized how long he was spacing out on Namjoon's face until the senior suddenly became self-conscious.

"What? Do I have something..." The senior began to wipe at his chin. "On my face?" 

Heat rushed up to Yoongi's cheeks and he snorted, looking away. "S-sorry, just zoning out. I...I think I have some idea of what we c-could do..."

Namjoon perked up, the embarrassed look on his face almost completely gone. "Lay it on me."

Yoongi nearly choked on his bread. Mind out of the gutter. 

"I saw some pickle jars and beer bottles...those seem tall enough that if we got on top of them and somehow climbed..."

A groan left Namjoon's mouth. "And how do you suppose I'll climb up...like this?"

He gave a sad look to Yoongi. It was full of hopelessness, a look that said I'll never make it out of here...go on without me.

"Hey!" The sophomore scooted closer to Namjoon, placing a cold hand on the senior's. "Don't get down on me now, Double 007 will find out a way to help you, Joon. I'll make sure of it. We're getting out of here together. I'm not leaving you."

The words were out of Yoongi's mouth, laid across the ground. They were full-fleshed, sparkly words that Namjoon gaped at. The leaf-boy did not go back on them. He refused to be a pussy, wanted to show Namjoon that feelings were meant to be spoken.

Wait, feelings? Wait-

"Thanks, Yoongi."

A prized dimple popped out on Namjoon's cheek, gracing the sophomore with its depth. He decided that it would be a good idea to space out again on Namjoon's face...except this time he was completely in the moment.

"Y-you have a little...cinnamon-"

Tenderly, the leaf-boy reached up, fingers brushing against olive skin. The senior stiffened, eyes wide as the cinnamon fell off of his face. Yoongi's gummy smile surfaced as a blush tinted Namjoon's cheeks.

"Oh uh, you could have um...t-told me."

It was awkward, a completely stuttered whisper. Yoongi didn't notice.

"Yeah, I could have told you but then I wouldn't get to wipe it off your face!" Yoongi said proudly, leaning back and crossing his legs. "Everyone knows that tactic-"

He froze. Wait, what was he saying?

"I-I m-mean-"

Namjoon pushed Yoongi's chest while laughing. The food in his mouth nearly choked him up. The sophomore fell back, clutching his chest in false shock. 

"Hey! I-d-didn't mean to release that information publicly...just pretend I...um didn't say..."

"That you like me?"

Even Namjoon blushed as he asked the question. Yoongi cursed the redness racing up his cheeks as he pulled himself up to a sitting position. He opened his mouth to answer, but only stutters left his mouth.

"I--w-well y-you s-see-"

Namjoon's hands clasped his heated cheeks. He glanced away from Yoongi for a bit before he returned the same level of stuttering. 

"Um--I'm n-not u-upset or an-anything b-because-"

Suddenly, the fridge door creaked open, startling both boys. They shared a panicked look, gazing down at the large piece of cinnamon raisin bread that was sprawled across the cold, plastic floor. 

"Shit YOONGI! THEY'RE GOING TO SEE THE BREAD-"

"Shhhh, I got an idea."

Yoongi ran to the bread, getting prepared behind it. With both of his hands, he shoved the grainy piece behind the meat so that by the time the hand was about ready to reach past them-

"YOONGI! I C-CAN'T MOVE-"

The hand immediately snaked close to Namjoon. Yoongi's heart nearly stopped as the fingers of the hand seemed to consider Namjoon's form.

What if the hand grabbed Namjoon?!? What if-

"I'M COMING!"

Yoongi rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Namjoon's waist. The elder held onto Yoongi's hands tightly, face contorted in fear as the hand grew closer. The sophomore pulled back with all of his might.

"Getthefuckawayhandgoawayihate-"

The hand turned around. Yoongi felt backwards after tripping over his own feet, letting Namjoon fall back onto his chest. The senior, laying on top of the other, watched as the palm zoomed away like a race car.

"Come on dumbass hand, grab something else now...leave us alone..."

Namjoon prayed. The hand seemed to hear his prayers, fingers wrapping themselves around the pickle jar. It lifted up, soon exiting the fridge. If fingers could laugh, Yoongi swore he would be hearing laughter right at the moment. 

Mean, mocking laughter.

"Fuck!"

Yoongi sighed as relief washed over him. His hands trembled on the corners of Namjoon's plastic-sticker shirt, semi-tearing the material. Namjoon's hands clenched tightly onto the sophomore's wrists as they brushed up against the skin of his stomach.

"Sh-shit! Oh, sorry for damaging y-your o-outfit, uh-"

Yoongi tried to move out from under Namjoon, but the senior was heavy. Also, Yoongi's energy was spent from moving him earlier.

"Ah...it's okay..." Namjoon's voice had quieted down severely. The sophomore could hardly hear his next words. "I don't mind...because it's you."

Yoongi blushed madly. Namjoon made no move to get off of him. A horrible joke floated into his mind, and as much as he wanted to push it away, Yoongi needed to dispel the awkward air surrounding them.

"Namjoon...?"

The senior blinked at him. Yoongi's hand was still positioned pretty low on the other's stomach.

"Looks like we got ourselves into a pickle here-"

A brief smile flashed on Namjoon's face. 

"I'm getting off of you now."

+     +     +

Chapter Text

"At least the hand didn't take the beer."

Namjoon said after they had calmed down a bit following the heated moment they had awkwardly found themselves in. Yoongi still sported a ruby red blush on the apples of his cheeks that Namjoon didn't fail to see. 

"Ah, right. The beer we won't ever be able to fucking open or drink. Yes, I'm so glad that the hand chose the pickle jar over the wonderful, intoxicatingly delectable beer cans."

A scoff rolled out of the senior's mouth.

"You know, after all we've been through, I could really use a goddamn drink. I don't care what we have to do to open it--but I'm pretty sure with Inspector Gadget by my side anything is possible."

The corner of Yoongi's mouth twitched. "I don't know who that is, but he sounds cool. Are you finally accepting me in my true form? My fully evolved Pokémon form of-"

Namjoon snickered to cut Yoongi off. They were seated by the half-eaten slice of cinnamon raisin bread, picking crumbs off and lazily tossing them at each other. Right when the sophomore decided to investigate the suspicious nature of Namjoon's laughter, a raisin hit him in the chest.

"AGH! Joon, really?" Yoongi clutched dramatically at the torn leaf on his chest that had been hit. In a show of annoyance (and strength) he tore the upper torso portion of his super suit off in one go. "Now this portion is ruined because of the raisin...also, why were you laughing? Is Inspector Gadgo some pimp or something in real life?"

Namjoon picked up another raisin from the bread with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

"Maybe."

"Well, at least a pimp makes enough money to get through college no prob. That works for me." 

The sophomore lamented as he dodged another raisin thrown by the senior. Namjoon frowned at his missed attempt to hit the younger.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Yoongs, but you'd never make it as a pimp."

Offense seeped deeply into the chlorophyll of Yoongi's torn outfit. He felt it rise up in him, like a galactic baseball full of denial. One that happened to be shaped like a rounded piece of bread. One that happened to fly through the air, hitting Namjoon's shoulder with deadly accuracy.

"Take that back!" Yoongi cried out in a rush of emotion.

Namjoon gave the sophomore a brief scowl before wiping his shoulder off. "No. It's the truth. I've seen a few pimps in my lifetime and-"

"Yeah, maybe PIMPles from stressing out over exams! Your ass hasn't seen half of the hard shit I've had to deal with down in the peasant class of college."

With an eye roll, Namjoon brushed the comment off. "Okay, maybe I haven't seen that many. But I know the type of people. Not all people who approached me to take advantage of my smarts were good people. Some just had a lot of money...got whatever they wanted. I wasn't letting them get me without some kind of fight."

Yoongi tried to imagine Namjoon around pimps--both male and female. It was difficult.

"So you're telling me, you had some buff dudes with nose piercings, tats, and gold grills just come up to you and ask you to be with them? Nah bro, I'm calling falsies."

Namjoon shook his head. "I'm not kidding. And no, not all pimps are pimped out. Some look like the normalest of people. Take...hmm...do you know who that junior named Logan is?"

Yoongi gasped. "Not LOGAN! He was in my Advanced Software Design class and helped me with some of the coding for my final! Joon, you probably just got the wrong idea..."

Namjoon shook his head.

"He told me himself. Invited me to his, and I quote, 'lair.' He said he would give me free, unlimited access to whatever services I wanted as long as I was loyal to him."

"BRO!"

Namjoon rolled his tongue around his mouth in thought. "Yeah, he's a dumb fuck. I bet he's going for a computer science degree because he thinks he can market his 'business' online."

Yoongi crossed his arms. "Yeah, but as Inspecto Gadgo, I smell something bad that could come out of this. Hasn't he threatened you because you have mulch on him? Y'know, the organic kind?"

The sticker-clad senior twisted his face in confusion. "I'm sorry? Mulch? What-"

"You know! You have dirt  on Logan. I'm sure Inspecto Gadgo puts his verbal calculations into more precise metaphors so that his competitors can't catch onto his ideas. I'm just trying to preserve my role, Joon. Gotta be eloquaint sometimes..."

Laughter pierced the air like the hand that once was there. It left, but not because Yoongi wanted it to.

"Okay, Yoongi...maybe I underestimated you...haha!" Namjoon shifted his weight to the side. "But on Logan...no, he never came after me for knowing his dirty secret. I could probably get him in trouble on several things, but...I don't know. People know that I'm tight-lipped about that. I have my own image to think about. Plus, they could just beat me up if I told, y'know, guarantee my suffering by breaking my hands. I can't take standardized tests with all of my fingers broken."

Yoongi coughed, suddenly uncomfortable at the thought of Namjoon with bloody and swollen hands trying to ace a test. "That's horrible."

Namjoon pursed his lips in disgust. He probably would still find a way to get all of the questions right on the test despite his hand situation. 

"It is horrible."

The sophomore scratched his head, gaze falling back to the cans of beer located at the back interior of their floor. Namjoon seemed to read his mind.

"You actually want to try to get one of those suckers open?"

A nod. Then, a fist pump into the air.

"Duh. Mr. Gadget needs to exercise his skill, else it will weaken."

Namjoon tsked but gave the sophomore a warm smile that lifted both of their hearts. Yoongi was glad that Namjoon wasn't mentioning his profession of affinity for the senior that he sputtered out only moments earlier. That was completely embarrassing...and uncalled for.

Beer was definitely a good distraction.

"Well, I'm a cripple, Yoongs. You figure out how to get it open and get me there."

"Hmmm..." Yoongi looked around. "Challenge accepted. Let's get wasted before we waste away!"

Namjoon hummed. "Now that's what I like to hear."

Yoongi stood up, an idea freshly surfacing in his mind garden. "Okay so...first I need you to get on this half slice of bread. Then, I'll drag it over there with you on it like Aladdin's carpet, except, you know, we aren't in the air and I'm not a Princess and we're, uh, not in love-"

"Got it." 

Namjoon rolled himself onto the remainder of the bread that they had shared. Yoongi did a rather long calf stretch before he made his way in front of the occupied bread slice. To him, this was fun, being challenged by his surroundings and trying to make the best of it.

Although he didn't know if getting super drunk was making the best of it...

"By the way!" Yoongi interjected into the stale air, pushing his doubts away. "Why don't you think I'd make a good pimp? I got the talents, the charm..."

Two hands came up in a big, fat X--crossing out Yoongi's assumptions about his ability. Those hands belonged to a certain senior who was being dragged along a cold, plastic floor on a piece of bread. 

"No, Yoongs. See, you'd be trying to make a deal with some lowlife--whom you don't at all belong with, you're too pure--and then you'd be interrupted by some lame joke, or some weird catchphrase that would nullify the deal...I can almost hear you talking to some creepy rich man and interrupting him with, 'I forgot to feed Noodle!' You know, kinda unprofessional."

The mind cogs in Yoongi's mind got to work as Namjoon spoke. At some point in the cogs' rapid rotations, they stopped amidst a very strange block in his imagination. He tried his best to picture himself as a reigning pimp of New York City but could only see him and his doggie cuddling on the couch. 

Fuck softness!

"Damn." Yoongi breathed when they were almost there. "You're right..." He sniffed. "Speaking of Noodle-"

"Please don't make me comfort you for ten minutes again. He's all right, Yoongi. Time here probably doesn't work the same on the outside." Namjoon tried to give his counterpart the most sincere look he could. Yoongi stared at him with unshielded gratefulness.

"Thanks, Joon. You'd make a great pimp."

A faint blush rained against Namjoon's olive skin, but Yoongi was too busy surveying his environment to notice. After walking up to the can and poking it a few times...and huffing a few times...and swearing a few times...

Yoongi beamed with a thought.

"Okay, Namjoon. The whole pimp talk we had gave me an idea."

The senior chuckled, shaking his head in incredulity. "Lay it on me."

"HAHAHA!"

"Oh my god, Yoongi. Shut up! Tell me."

The sophomore pointed at the bread, then at the bottom of the can where there was a small indent. Namjoon did not understand. After a few seconds of him not getting it, Yoongi put on his detective face to solidify his confidence in his role as teacher...and taught Namjoon the basics of Gadgo. 

"So. You see. Here is dent. There is bread. If we use this bread as a lever by using the small dent offered us and keep shoving it under the beer can, then we can--haha, get it--ahem, we will be able to tip it over, when it tips over we pop the tab and voila!  Beer River and high blood alcohol concentration in only moments!"

When he was finished, Yoongi delivered a small bow to Namjoon, whose face was set in awe. The senior remained frozen like that for a while, until Yoongi clapped his hands together.

"So? Thoughts? My back is hurting from bowing for so long-"

"Ingenious."

A mini round of applause for a rather pleased leaf boy escalated to woots and hollers from the senior. Embarrassed from all the attention, Yoongi covered his face. 

"Yeah...? You think? Wow, never thought I'd hear that from you, the KIM NAMJOON HIMSELF!"

Namjoon grinned from ear to ear. "Well now you have. Now get on with it! I want to drink!"

In the following scene playing in Yoongi's bright and newly praised mind, he pushed the bread under the beer can in slow increments by utilizing his excessive, unmatched strength until the thing tipped over and spilled neatly in a drinkable line.

In reality...

"Yeah, Joon. Nevermind. I'm not strong enough."

Yoongi's sweaty palms pushed with all his might against the raisins and cinnamon, hoping his grand plan would work like it had time and time before. Nothing budged except for Yoongi's growing hatred for pimps. 

So when finally Yoongi turned himself around to face a waiting Namjoon, he expected to see the senior with disappointment filling his handsome features. Shame obscuring his prized dimple. Sadness at not being able to drink etched into his nicely proportioned eyebrows.

Instead, Namjoon's face only offered him understanding.

"Yeaaaaahhh. I knew that wasn't going to work, Yoongi. But killing hope is so mean, so I cheered for you. It was good entertainment, at least."

"O-oh."

An immensely bewildered and shaken Yoongi walked quietly to sit next to Namjoon on the floor next to the bread. Namjoon placed a comforting hand on his knee. 

"Hey, don't be down now! We can just pretend we're drunk for a little while to let out some stress. To lighten the mood, mkay? No thoughts of pimps or Aladdin or Gadget or anyone else."

Yoongi's face brightened at that. He instinctually placed his hand on top of Namjoon's. The senior didn't flinch away, just continued his speech.

"Just thoughts of Namjoon and Yoongi. Even if we're barely okay, dying for a drink, and wanting to escape here..." He trailed off. 

Yoongi picked the last good veggie out of his mind garden and finished the statement for Namjoon.

"At least we have each other."

*     *     *

Chapter Text

Yoongi jumped off the ground with massive force! 

His feet slid sideways like Michael Jackson as he serenaded Namjoon and blew a kiss out to his only audience member!

"Wow...is this how you really act when you're intoxicated?"

Namjoon blushed immensely as the sophomore made up a dance routine on the spot, singing crazy lyrics that made no sense whatsoever.

"And we're gunna soar! Soar to the top! Like an onion, layered...we'll never stop!"

"Jeez." Namjoon covered his ears while cringing, yet he couldn't take his eyes off of the other. Somehow, despite failing over and over again Yoongi found it within himself to continue to give life to others. "Can't you think of better lyrics?"

The leaf-boy did a 360 before landing on one foot. "Rockstars don't need good lyrics to be successful, sorry to burst your bubble, bro."

Namjoon adjusted himself on the bread, crossing his legs. If Yoongi could have so much fun, then why couldn't he? The senior had already learned much from this lower classman, even if it had nothing to do with writing political philosophy papers or concocting precise tinctures for his chem labs.

"Fine. Then let me sing the next verse."

Yoongi bobbed his head lazily with his eyes shut. A fake wad of gum was actively being chewed by the younger as he strummed his air guitar. If Namjoon had been an outsider, he'd think this boy was holding a huge rock concert on stage. Even his leaf outfit fell into the distressed rocker category, hanging off of him as if fans had torn it during a wild stage dive. 

"You go, Joonstar. Let's hear it!"

"Okay...ehm..." 

For some reason, one glance at Yoongi's "hammered" face was all it took to send the butterflies screaming out of Namjoon's stomach. He sat up straighter on the bread. When he opened his mouth, he didn't care what fruits and vegetables in the fridge had to withstand his horrible shriek-singing. 

"Top of the world, we're in a mess! If only Yoongi would wear a dress! I want to go home, to rest, and to pee--inside a real toilet or on the side of the tree! Yoongi misses Noodle and I do too, a poor dog without his owner--so very blue! I'm a rockstar sitting here gettin' some bread, come on now, leaf boy, don't shake that head!"

Yoongi kept shaking his head. Namjoon stopped singing.

"What? Did I do something wrong?"

The sophomore suddenly looked up. A calm air grew about him, and he pressed his hands together in musing. With squinted eyes and an airy tone, Yoongi laid out the truth of rockstarmanship. 

"No move in the rock world can be wrong. Leading a band makes you immediately right in whatever you do. Wanna smash the guitar? Great. Wanna ride solo? Wonderful. Wanna be a rap star? I guess you're not that far off from P. Diddy."

Namjoon scratched his chin. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying...I just wanted to shake my head to your words. Haha!"

The senior shook his head in disappointment, then stopped himself when he realized the irony of the action. Yoongi didn't seem to notice and started playing an invisible set of drums, really getting into it.

"My god, Yoongi. What do we do with you...?"

Yoongi ignored the comment, jumping to the beat of the song that played inside of his mind. Before he knew it, the sophomore was getting bread crumbs thrown at him. His hands froze in place on the drum set. 

"Booooo! You stink!!!" Namjoon continued throwing his makeshift tomatoes at the boy. "This music is terrible!!"

The sophomore frowned, crossing his arms. "Fine! Audience members get to input suggestions to improve this rock session. What do you have in mind, sir party shitter?"

Namjoon uncrossed his arms, laughing heavily. "Party shitter?! I'm the only fan you have and I'm a party shitter? What kind of blasphemy is this?"

Yoongi threw his invisible drum sticks down, gasping when one bounced off the ground and hit Namjoon square in the head. "Oh gosh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you in the face, party shitter."

A throw of hands in the air. "Y'know Yoongs, I think the stale fridge air is getting to your head." 

Yoongi sighed, plopping down on the bread and cutting the rocker act. His lips formed into a distressed pout. "I know."

Namjoon felt a little bad for the sophomore. He scooted over to the boy, laying a reassuring hand on his upper arm. "Hey, I have an idea."

Instantly perking up at the word idea, Yoongi could hardly contain his excitement. "Oooooh! An idea out of you! Let's hear it!"

"Well..." Namjoon began, not entirely sure of what he was saying. "You know how in all those movies, whenever the main protagonists want something and they think about it super hard it comes true? Because of their mental power or something?"

Yoongi's lips twisted to the side in a mischievous understanding. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

The senior shrugged. "I don't know. What do you think I'm saying?"

Yoongi beamed. "Hmmm...I think you're trying to imply that--we have to imagine the fourth four, form a cult circle, pray to the fridge gods and summon our third eye to picture ourselves floating up there, to release ourselves from the hell that is third floor."

Namjoon's face dropped.

"Ummm..."

"As long as we hold hands and combine our forces--don't look at me like that, Joon, I read this somewhere--then we can create a complex, revolving energy plecksus-"

"Plexus." Namjoon corrected.

"Right." Yoongi's eyes sparkled indefinitely as he ranted off whatever strange monologue rattled around inside his head. "And we'll utilize the pulses of the energy plexus to push ourselves through space and time and-"

"Hang on a sec..." Namjoon licked his lips in analysis. "If you think we can do this to get to the fourth floor, then why can't we just use the same process to escape the whole fridge itself? It's the same mentality."

Yoongi fell quiet. 

Namjoon was afraid he'd crushed the sophomore's only source of hope when the boy suddenly piped up.

"No no no...no, no. No, you don't understand." Yoongi's voice dropped to an even lower octave than normal. It made the senior lean in, curious. "We can't imagine ourselves going outside of the fridge because we haven't seen it. We don't even know it exists."

Yoongi's intensity frightened Namjoon, who assumed the sophomore's wild hope would extend to this idea. 

"What are you saying...? We saw that hand come in here several times, Yoongs. That can only mean that an outside does in fact exist. It's not just a black hole or something."

The sophomore pondered this. "Although I can't imagine it a black hole out there, I'm quite confident that is isn't what we expect. I mean, what if we're in the fridge on a movie set of a kid's daytime television show? Or...in the house of a serial killer who wears bloody sandals all the time?! Or! OR!...in someone's mind? What if this fridge is just a stock image--and after we get to the outside of the pictured fridge, the watermark will trap us inside the border of the copyrighted picture and then we'll suffocate to death because watermarks don't have air they just have water-"

"Enough, Yoongi! You're scaring me!"

Namjoon threw his head into his hands. Sometimes, he wished Yoongi's mind wasn't so all over the place. One second he was talking about some positive zen ritual and the next he was questioning whether or not he even existed in the same dimension as his college. 

"Well, you asked for it. We can't think ourselves out of the fridge. It's impossible."

Nodding at Yoongi's sullen statement, Namjoon realized that he might as well try this transportation thingy with Yoongi. Even if it didn't work, it was something to do. More accurately, something to do with Yoongi. 

"All right. Let's do this ancient alien conspiracy thing you're suggesting-"

"It's very real!" Yoongi whined. His eyebrows knotted in protest. The senior found it kind of endearing, how upset Yoongi would get whenever he found his ideas scoffed at. 

"Yes, yes. It's very real." Namjoon smiled at Yoongi before grabbing his hands. The sophomore looked a bit taken aback, but squeezed the senior's palms nonetheless. "This is how you start the ritual, right?"

"Affirmative."

Yoongi gave him a quick smile before shutting his eyes. The senior followed suit. Yoongi took off in a Bob Ross drawl, accentuating each syllable with a hypnotic tone.  

"Now...we know the fourth floor exists because we can see it right above our heads. Picture us sitting just as we are now, except on the fourth floor."

Yoongi's voice instructed Namjoon patiently. Peeking an eye open, the senior saw Yoongi's nose bunched in concentration. He quickly shut his eyes again when Yoongi continued on with his lecture.

"Picture us seated together, holding hands, sitting on a cold, plastic floor. Imagine your body lifting up-"

"Didn't you mention a cult circle in this exercise?" Namjoon chimed in. 

"Shhhh." Yoongi brushed his question off with another squeeze to the hand. "Now, see us floating! Feel the warm energy surrounding us, forcing us upward, together, to the fourth floor! HAHAHAH!"

A little shocked at Yoongi's outburst, Namjoon flinched back. "Why are you laughing?"

"Can't you feel it, Joon? That bright, beautiful ENERGY!"

"Yeah!" The senior played into the act, feeling nothing but a confused happiness at spending time with this boy. "Yeah, I do!"

Yoongi squeezed Namjoon's hands extremely tight, and for a second, Namjoon thought he felt a rush of wind tousle his hair. He gasped as his leg registered not the slice of cinnamon raisin bread padding it, but a cold, uncomfortable surface.

Almost like plastic...

"No fucking way-"

"NAMJOON!" Yoongi practically screamed into his ear. "NAMJOOOOOOON! OPEN YOUR EYES!"

The senior, very slowly, lifted the skin flaps that prevented his ablitity to see the world. The first thing that came into focus was a very smiley Yoongi, who was bouncing excitedly on the plastic floor. 

"JOON! WE MADE IT!"

Namjoon took in his surroundings, awestruck by the different foods he saw. A birthday cake sat in the middle of the floor. A bag of rolls sat off to the side. Different tupperware containers filled with various leftovers sat pushed up against the back wall, where they were currently sitting. 

"WOAH!" Namjoon cheered. "HOW THE FUCK DID THAT EVEN WORK! YOONGI, YOU'RE A GENIUS!"

Without thinking about his next action, Namjoon leaned forward.  His lips met with Yoongi's cheek in a celebratory smack.

Right as he did it, Namjoon instantly felt afraid he would be rejected--yelled at, thrown to the cold wind of the fourth floor because Yoongi didn't feel the same way.

So when Yoongi giggled, a blushing mess, and grabbed the back of Namjoon's neck to kiss him on the lips, Namjoon nearly died.

"A-am...I in heaven?" Namjoon sputtered when they broke apart.

Yoongi shook his head adamantly. "No, not now at least. I think you fell from heaven a little while ago--and you're my savior angel."

Namjoon's shook his head shyly, lips still tingling from their interaction. He waved his hand over the containers of leftovers that they sat in front of. "I'd say more of a leftover from God's angel-mixing pot. He probably tossed me away."

"Namjoon!" Yoongi stood up, pointing at the senior's face. "Take it back!"

The senior smiled, happy he got a rise out of the leaf-boy who stole his heart. Standing up alongside the boy, he yelled animatedly. "Never!"

Yoongi gasped, pointing at Namjoon's leg. The senior met his line of sight, shrieking in surprise. 

Namjoon's leg had healed. There was no makeshift bandage over it. No pain.

"IT'S A MIRACLE!" 

Namjoon cheered, dancing around on both of his good legs. Yoongi jumped in tune, pretending once more to play his air guitar. Namjoon took up a spot on the drums.

"I take it back, Yoongi. This music is amazing!"

A guitar solo broke out; Yoongi's fingers moved at lighting-speed. He proceeded to wipe imaginary sweat off his brow before calling out to his bandmate and invisible fans. 

"Alright! This next one's for all you nonbelievers! It's called: LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FRIDGE!"

The senior took up a raving drum solo while he screamed along to the song that Yoongi made up on the spot.

"LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FRIDGE!" Namjoon sang out of tune. But Yoongi didn't care. 

In fact, Yoongi took the heavy applause coming from the fans as a sign to stave dive into the crowd. Namjoon was the one who caught him, of course. Yoongi's head fell joyfully against Namjoon's shoulder. 

The senior laughed. 

"Ah! Yoongi, another rockstar angel who fell from the heavenly stage! I'll catch you every time, though, don't worry! You won't be leftover!"

+     +     +

Chapter Text

Following a very tiring setlist that had both males panting heavily, Yoongi thought that the circumstances sought for some celebratory actions.

"Namjoon..." Yoongi doubled over, his sweaty hands grasping his leafy thighs. "I think our rock star careers have ended. Can we eat some of that cake over there now?"

The sophomore pointed an excited finger over to a half-eaten birthday cake in the distance. By the looks of it, the cake was wild--frosted flowers twisted around its side in a rainbow swirl. Namjoon wasn't sure if it was for a birthday, a home welcoming, or a let's just mix a bunch of random colors together for a college drinking party cake. 

He supposed the latter was true.

"Yoongi, that cake looks like something Lady Gaga would wear as a hat. Do you really think it will taste good?"

Biting his lip in deep contemplation, the sophomore shuffled up to the massive cake. To them, it was huge; a dozen laps around the thing was surely a mile in their miniature scale. Covering the massive confection was a plastic dome that sported many sharpied faces on it. Many sharpied faces were smiling, others angry. One even had a blunt hanging out of its exaggeratedly large lips. 

"Hmmm..." The sophomore traced his palm along drawing of the pot-head. He smirked to himself. "You can't know until you do...you can't taste until you first brandish a tongue..."

Namjoon listened, but knew he wouldn't be able to understand Yoongi's pivotal life-lesson unless he interfered. Steering Yoongi back to more common, sensical speech, was a fun challenge for the senior.

"So...what you're saying is that the journey to taste is enough in itself to make you want to taste new things?" Namjoon tried. 

Surprisingly, Yoongi didn't shoot him down.

"How'd you know, Joon?! I was going to say that, yeah, I may not always make the best decisions, but since I have a tongue to taste with--and buds to listen to music with--why not eat whatever I want?"

The senior made a face. "That's not...um...okay, yep...sure. Alright, let's try the cake."

"Plus," Yoongi added, nonchalantly moving closer to Namjoon. "I tasted your lips earlier and they tasted sweet to me."

Fast and furious came the blush that filled the senior's cheeks. Yoongi sometimes was a handful, but that didn't make the senior appreciate him any less. Additionally, the sophomore's gibberish sometimes translated into a sharp flirtaciousness that had Namjoon blushing at the oddest times.

"Oh...really?" The senior didn't pull away when Yoongi intertwined their hands. "I mean, I am an avid wearer of cherry chapstick, so..."

Giggles befell Yoongi as he swayed their arms back and forth playfully. The senior was so glad he was able to move as he used to, instead of having to rely on the lowerclassman for support. 

After lapping the cake together, Yoongi stopped him and Namjoon when he found a tiny crack in the cake dome. He released Namjoon's hand and examined the opening, murmuring things to himself here and there. 

Namjoon caught a few words.

"...let them...eat cake...those peasants of France..."

The senior smiled. This boy's mind had a million random things in it. "Yoongi, are you seriously referencing to the French Revolution right now? I thought you hated any school subject other than computer science stuff."

Yoongi twisted around, waggling a finger in front of him. "Ahaha! Right you are. But I do have a knack for remembering things that happened in history. A lot of times I misremember them and alter the facts in my head...actually, that's how I got a D on a World War II paper once."

Namjoon grew curious. "Let me guess. You got World War II mixed up with the first world war and thought the Germans won it or something?" 

The sophomore scrunched his nose up. He ran a hand along the small break in the cake dome. "I wish. What happened was, well...I couldn't recall Hitler's name, you know, the evil German dictator. So I put 'the guy with the ugly, short mustache' down on paper which got me thinking about Mario, naturally. My professor was wearing red that day too--which didn't help--and his name started with an 'M.' I just couldn't help myself, Joon, I couldn't get the boss level of Mario out of my head..."

"Wait, so what did you end up writing about?" Namjoon wasn't paying attention to the cake dome at all anymore. All of his attention was on the sophomore and his interesting story. 

"So here's the thing...I transformed my paper into a huge extended metaphor of how the American war effort was like the boss level of Mario. Except I had one problem, and that was Mario! I couldn't have Hitler winning at the end of my paper, so I wrote in that he was the dark, shadow version of Mario. His alter ego...the one that nobody likes."

Yoongi cleared his throat and sighed.

"My paper was the longest in the class, eleven and a half pages long, yet my paper didn't even do the boss level or the war effort justice! I got down to the details, the specifics--explained how the winning Mario Castle was situated on the beach of Normandy and how Britain was like Princess Peach and France was like Princess Daisy--waiting to be saved by the true, American Mario and-"

"But Mario is Italian!" Namjoon was laughing through the entire explanation. By now, tears beaded at his eyes. "Plus Mario was originally a plumber! Oh my gracious, Yoongs, how did you explain the fighting in the war? With fireballs and Goombas?"

"Precisely." 

Yoongi nodded solemnly, not cracking as much as half a smile. Namjoon's stomach hurt from laughing so much. The education system could never handle Yoongi and his strange outlook on events. It was no wonder he hated normal school subjects so much.

"Ah, you kill me Yoongi. Just by the sound of that, the paper deserved an A."

The sophomore chuckled. "Maybe not an A, but at least a B for the effort I put in. I think the professor was just angry that I took the paper so seriously when I didn't pay attention in his class half the time." 

Namjoon reached a hand out and tousled the sophomore's hair. "I think your entire life is an extended metaphor of...this picture here."

Taking Yoongi's hand in his own, he made the sophomore point at the messy, black marker drawing of a pot-smoking emoji. Yoongi finally grinned, nodding energetically.

"Wow...Namjoon, I think you're right. Hey! This one is you."

Yoongi pointed to a tiny stick figure that was flipping someone off.  A know-it-all smirk and round, intelligent eyes characterized the figure.

"Ah, I'd have to agree. We know each other so well!"

Namjoon continued to clasp Yoongi's smaller hand within his own. The sophomore clicked his tongue loudly before motioning for them to approach the cake dome opening. "Shall we get some cake now?"

"You bet." Namjoon placed their hands on the opening. Instinctually, they kept their hands very close by each other. "Or should I say, piece of cake?"

Yoongi frowned, nudging Namjoon's shoulder. "Hey, that was my line."

"Who said so!"

"I did!"

Regardless of whose line it was, the boys worked together to try and crack the opening large enough for them to fit through. It was tedious work, especially since the plastic container was cold. But the two boys had cake on their minds, more specifically a unicorn-vomit rainbow cake, and that in itself powered them to succeed. 

When it was large enough, Yoongi pushed himself through first. 

"OOOOH! It smells great in here, like a bakery! Joon, come in here!"

Namjoon braced his head with his arms, using his strong legs to propel himself forward. About halfway through the opening, he got stuck. 

"Yoongi! I'm stuck!" The senior cursed himself for being so much bigger than the sophomore. "But, hey...yeah, it smells awesome in here."

Dancing up to Namjoon's torso, Yoongi chided an I told you so before grabbing the senior's shoulders. He tugged once, twice, but to no avail.

"Joon, I think your wide hips aren't helping in this situation."

The senior groaned. The plastic of the container was painfully jabbing into his sides, making him even more irritable. "You think?"

Yoongi sensed the other's struggle and tried putting more of his weight into it. After thirty seconds of hard labor, the leaf-boy finally got Namjoon out. 

"Woah!" 

Namjoon stumbled forward to catch himself before he could fall onto his face. Turns out placing his foot down on a purple wad of especially slippery frosting wasn't the most strategic move.

Yoongi tried reaching out to steady Namjoon before he got close to faceplanting in the cake, but failed miserably. The sophomore's foot slipped on a mixture of sprinkles and high fructose corn syrup as he reached for the senior. 

"AAHHH!"

"NAMJOOON!! AAHHH!"

Both males met the same fate, plummeting face first into the cake. Their hands reached out to catch themselves, only to sink into the cake. By screaming, they had done themselves a service in a way. Now they didn't have to worry about tasting the cake--it was already on their tongues.

Yoongi tugged himself out of the cake first, smiling brightly. He didn't seem to care that the leaves of his outfit were painted in a smattering of rainbow frosting and cake crumbs. "Namjoon! This is delicious!"

Namjoon whined as he removed himself from the cake. His hair felt slimy and all he could taste was sugar, sugar, and more sugar.

"It's...sweet." He mumbled out, not wanting to ruin Yoongi's happy moment. 

"HAHA! That was truly a piece of cake wasn't it!"

Yoongi proceeded to take handfuls of the cake and shove them into his mouth. Namjoon couldn't be mad at the situation because of how wild Yoongi looked with frosting covering his face and body. As the other ate, Namjoon's mind recognized a problem. 

"Yoongi...how are we supposed to wash this off? I didn't see water bottles on this floor..."

An evil smirk twisted Yoongi's frosting-covered lips. "Why don't you just eat it off of me? Start with my lips."

Namjoon just about died. He was glad for the frosting obscuring his deep red blush.

But...he wasn't complaining at the suggestion. 

"Okay, Yoongi...piece of cake." Namjoon moved forward, less nervous because of how stupid Yoongi's face looked full of cake. "You asked for it."

Namjoon brought their lips together sweetly.

+     +     +

Chapter Text

After attaching their lips to each other's frosting-caked faces for quite some time, Yoongi and Namjoon decided to pursue their true mission of escaping the fridge instead of finding escapism in absorbing the glucose chains of sugar. 

Yoongi had to yank Namjoon out the other end of the cake container pretty hard to get his wide body through. However, both males were relatively free of frosting and ready to fight their way out of the fridge by the time they had surfaced on the other side. 

"My stomach hurts..." Namjoon lamented as they bumbled around the entrance of the cake container. "Maybe we shouldn't have eaten all that frosting because-"

"NONSENSE!" Yoongi shouted, buzzing with the rush of sugar. "WE NEEDED TO GET SOME CALORIES IN US, OTHERWISE WE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CONTINUE. WE HAVE TO MAINTAIN OUR STRENGTH, YOU KNOW?"

Namjoon scoffed, grabbing Yoongi's hand in his larger one. "Makes sense, Yoongs, but now I have to put up with your sugar-high ass for quite a while."

A tiny smirk wormed onto Yoongi's lips. "SORRY."

The senior pulled Yoongi slightly off into the distance. "Can you talk any quieter? I'm right next to you, you don't have to scream."

"Sorry." Yoongi tried again, this time more quiet. "I just feel so happy, how am I not supposed to yell? I mean, we're getting out of here soon, I just ate some cake, when we're out I get to be your boyfr--um, I mean..."

Erupting into coughs, Yoongi didn't realize the path that he was going down in that snippet of conversation until he got there. The half-chewed word boyfriend sat on his lips, unsure of whether to be pronounced fully or left to rot. Namjoon noticed the bolded word instantly, given his quick release of the sophomore's hand. 

"Wait...what...?"

Namjoon was at a loss for words. Since they had fallen into amicable (if you could call it that) rounds of kissing and fond touches, they had never discussed what they were. No discussion of pair, couple, boyfriends...nothing. Maybe it was the stuffy atmosphere of random foodstuffs or maybe it was their inability to see the elephant in the fridge, but neither of them had dared enter into the topic of relationship.

Until now.

"Yoongi..." Namjoon started again once the sophomore's violent coughing had subsided. "Did you say...are you asking me out?"

Yoongi's sugar glazed eyes cleared up briefly to widen at what Namjoon was suggesting. "A-asking...um...well, you see...uh, about...a-asking, whew...hmmm, erm...huh why a-am I sweating so much...ah-"

"Fuck it, I'll do it then. How come you can just be the most blunt person I've ever met at some points and then suddenly that part of you switches off? How does that even work?" 

Yoongi shrugged. How was he supposed to know the details of the inner machinations inside his own jumbled mental chamber? Was that a thing? He bet Namjoon understood his own mind--that smart MF.

"Anyway...okay. Here goes...Min Yoongi, will you officially be my boyfriend?" 

Immediately, Namjoon blushed a deep rose, fingers twisting around with nerves. Perhaps the backdrop of a half-eaten tube of mayo wasn't the best setting to pop the commitment question, but that didn't matter to him. The senior just wanted to know that once they were out of this fridge, they could continue seeing each other as...a couple.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I was too distracted by your dimple."

Yoongi's face was blank as he spoke. If he was lying, then he was the darndest liar in the whole galaxy. Namjoon huffed in disbelief, crossing his arms as a self-comforting mechanism. 

"Are you kidding me! How did you not hear that?! UGH! Yoongi, just be my boyfriend!" The senior shouted, throwing his arms up. One of them bounced against the mayo bottle and Namjoon winced, holding his arm against his side.

"No-" Yoongi asserted, and Namjoon's heart dropped. Was Yoongi really rejecting him, after all they'd been through? After all of the foods they'd seen, fridge floors they'd traveled up, mean jokes they'd exchanged...

But then Namjoon realized Yoongi wasn't done talking. 

"No, that's not how you should've said it! I even gave you a second try to fix your delivery, but it didn't seem to pan out regardless."

Namjoon, like always, felt confused. "How else should I have put it? I was going for a cutesy be mine concept and you didn't like it?"

Yoongi waved him off. "It's not that I didn't like it, because I like a lot of things you do, that asking-out included. It's just...didn't it hit you? You should have said may(o)be you're kinda thick--like the mayonnaise, get it? or even--may(o) we get together? or may(o) we stay together after we get out of this fridge? Cause I kinda like you Yoongi, you're extremely charming and wonderful, super muscular, prince out of the ocean tide kinda guy who'd make every day one in a million-"

"Stop romanticizing yourself Yoongi! You aren't even that strong!" Namjoon was laughing half-angry, half-amused, trying to maintain his composure but failing miserably. "Gosh, I can't even get an answer from you before you start railing on my approach. Will you be my fucking boyfriend or not?!"

The sophomore pulled Namjoon into a hug before he said the one word that Namjoon wanted so desperately...not to hear.

"Maybe."

A pause.

"WHAT?!"

Namjoon shoved Yoongi off of him, brows furrowed. Yoongi jumped back on him, locking his fingers in a tight vice to ensure he wouldn't be pried off of the senior again. Groaning, Namjoon let the sophomore wrap back around him, since, if he was being honest, he didn't mind the feeling.

"I'm just kidding! I'll totes be your boyfriend...but..." Yoongi tapered off, a mildly nervous lilt taking over his voice. "I was just worried you weren't...like, gay or something."

Namjoon pulled him back so they were face to face. "I'm not...well, I've never felt for a guy like I feel around you, Yoongi. For you...it's just, I don't know, different? I've always found girls attractive though, so I guess if I had to put myself into a category it would be bi."

"Ah..." Yoongi chided, squeezing tighter. "So you're only gay for me."

"Um...I guess...? Is that a problem?"

Yoongi giggled, playfully grabbing Namjoon's ass. "Problem? How could that be a problem? There's no competition for me, that's the ideal! Can you imagine if you had your eye set on someone else? They wouldn't know how to treat you, wouldn't know your favorite food, your favorite color, and your, ahem, favorite person..."

The senior pushed Yoongi off of him and rolled his eyes. Without another word, he snatched Yoongi's hand off of his hip where it rested. 

"I don't think I have to ask this to know the answer, but do you ever shut up?"

"Mmmm...no." Yoongi skipped joyously next to the senior as they walked towards further into the fridge. Every other hop, Yoongi would teasingly push his hip into Namjoon's side. "Also, now that we're a thing, we need to have a naval cruiser title."

Namjoon thought about it for a moment. "You mean a ship? A ship name? Jesus-"

"NAMGI!" 

Yoongi cried out, as if he'd been shot in battle. Namjoon flinched to the side, wincing. 

"Yeah..." The senior agreed, once his heartrate settled down enough to speak. "That's...nice. Namgi...it's fitting."

"It's WONDERFUL!"

Yoongi skipped faster, leaving the mayo bottle behind them. Now that their union was established with confidence, Namgi had to find a way out of the fridge. 

"Yoongs, you see that vent up there? I think that's the way out." Namjoon pointed at the place where cold air was puffing out towards a bag of rolls. The plastic would blow around here and there as the air jetted out.

"Yeah...I see that vent." Yoongi squatted down, covering half of his head with the hand that wasn't holding Namjoon's. "But does it see me?"

Namjoon let go of Yoongi's hand and raced to the bag of rolls. Like his eyebrows, the rolls were clumped together in confusion at Yoongi's antics.

"I think the bag sees you, Yoongi. You're getting pretty close to it. Plus, you're loud, annoying, and...nope, actually I can't see a single reason it couldn't see you."

"Fuck off." The sophomore grinned brightly at his boyfriend, jogging alongside him at a steady pace. "Last one to the bag of rolls is a sore loser!" 

Namjoon bit his cheek in determination. With his legs fully healed and a new relationship status in his colorful pocket,  he found himself full of physical energy. "You're a sore loser, then, Yoongs."

And Namgi took off. 

+     +     +

Chapter Text

"HIYAA!!" 

Yoongi jump-kicked the bag of rolls before Namjoon's eyes. The senior had arrived a good 10 seconds before the leaf-boy had, watching him the whole time. Yoongi pretended he hadn't seen Namjoon win the race to the roll bag, instead coping with his loss through a rather upsetting ninja kick to a stale bread roll.

"I win, you lose, now let's get out of here before-"

Namjoon was cut off with a quick tackle from the sophomore. Yoongi had managed to wrap his arms around the senior's midsection, pushing him backwards into the gluten-filled bread behind him. It cushioned his fall pretty well, but Namjoon shouted out in irritation nonetheless. 

"HEY!" 

The senior tried to get out from under Yoongi, which made the other only more rambunctious in his actions. Despite being the smaller of the two, the sophomore had Namjoon pinned down against the plastic in a tight grip. Yoongi thought it was a good idea to straddle the other, to ensure he couldn't get out. 

"Y-Yoongi..." Namjoon slowly reddened as he realized what position the sophomore was in on top of him. "Let. Me. Go."

"Nah." Yoongi knew exactly what he was doing and found it quite entertaining. The senior wiggled around under him, face flushing with both irritation and surprise at the intimate act. "We're boyfriends now, so...I'm comfortable where I'm at, Joon."

"Are you kidding." Namjoon groaned, twisting his wrists desperately. 

"Nope."

Yoongi's hand lightly brushed away a strand of Namjoon's hair. One of the stickers on Namjoon's outfit was slightly peeled up, so the sophomore pressed it down again. He giggled at Namjoon's jaw, clenched in concentration as he gave up fighting.

"I take it back. I don't want to be associated with you anymore, Yoongs."

Yoongi pursed his lips as he fixed up Namjoon's outfit. The thing wasn't holding up too well--patches were scratched away, words peeling, most of the adhesive was struggling to hold on to Namjoon's body. Every time his hand would fix one sticker, another one would peel up or get stuck on his hand. The stickers weren't the only thing that Yoongi could feel under his touch, however. 

"Joon, I think your body is saying otherwise."

Namjoon, if possible, blushed even deeper, closing his eyes. A laugh raged out of Yoongi as he leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss to the elder's cheek.

"Hey, 's okay, Namjoon--when we're out of here we can do whatever you want, but I'd rather not risk it inside a fridge. I mean, talk about unsanitary!"

Yoongi caressed the side of Namjoon's sticker-suit. The senior bit the inside of his cheek as the leaves meshed with the sticky coverings of his costume. "Wonderful. Now before this gets out of hand--would you please get off of me?"

The senior's voice held such restriction that the sophomore had to intervene. "Are you struggling that much to hold back? I didn't know you were so attracted to me. Hmm..." 

Yoongi purposely shifted on top of Namjoon so that his lips were right above the others. All it would take was one of them to lean down or sit up and they'd be kissing.

"I hate you, Yoongi."

Yoongi cracked his neck to the side and licked his lips. "Hmmm. Do you think people who hate each other kiss?"

Namjoon scrunched his nose. "I don't know, why don't we find out."

And Namgi connected their sweet lips together. Excitement, fire, silliness, and the cold hum of the fridge pulsed through every ministration of their lips. Yoongi's leaves somehow became greener, while Namjoon's stickers stuck to the sophomore's body like super glue. Everything about the duo was unique, strange--a computer nerd who tends to his dog like a servant kissing a Valedictorian who doesn't bother getting his shoes dirty walking on the same ground of other people. 

But for some reason, their origin stories didn't matter in that moment. Who they were...that was versatile. The circumstances had changed them, much like the malleable bread they rolled around on, making out like their lives depended on it. Friction, juxtaposition of limbs--the whole gamut of a lover's escapade, except for the fact that they were inside of a freezing cold appliance used to store food.

More specifically, on a bag of rolls.

Namjoon bit down on Yoongi's lip hard, causing the sophomore to hop off of him. "Okay, I take it back. I don't want to find out if kids can be made in a fridge!"

The absence of Yoongi on top of him left Namjoon frowning, yet Yoongi's completely unmoving seriousness made a smile bloom on his lips. "Wait. You're kidding-"

"Yeah, we were about to get about the whole 'kidding' thing, but...y'know, you had to start getting violent and then I got flustered and I didn't think I can control myself any more-"

"Hang on!" Namjoon was half-sunken into the bag. He grunted with effort as he scrambled about, trying to stand up off of the edibles. "You honestly think that two guys can make kids? Now, I know you're a bit slow to get some stuff, but that is honestly just..."

Yoongi burst into laughter.

"Namjoon. Are you kidding me? I thought you knew I was acting. Acting was actually my previous major, until I switched to computer science. I'm not as dumb a fuck as you'd think."

Opening and closing his mouth in surprise, Namjoon stood up off of the bag. He walked over to the sophomore, who was crossing his arms. "So...all that stuff you said before was a lie? All the dumb shit...all the stories you'd tell...they were all lies? Wait..." He paused, contemplating something. "Do you even like me?"

Yoongi stood on his tiptoes to press a kiss onto Namjoon's lips. Intertwining their hands, he vehemently nodded his head. 

"Of course I like you! Why do you think I would put in the effort of entertaining you if I could give two shits about you...haha."

As each second passed by, Namjoon felt like more and more of an idiot. "Uh, acting practice?"

Yoongi laughed, squeezing Namjoon's hand in his. "Yes, well, I got plenty of practice in something else...that's for sure." He winked at the senior, referring to their kissing. "But I want to backtrack a little. Not all of it was acting, you know. I just hated seeing you so down, so I just exemplified the crazy aspect of my personality. No biggie."

Namjoon pulled Yoongi in closer to him. "And here I thought you were just some rabid college kid. Ah, Jesus, Yoongs. You did that for me? Why are you so god damn lovable."

For once, the leaf-boy blushed, hiding his face in the senior's chest. "I won't be so lovable if we don't get out of here soon. Then I'll get to unleash my Dragon Ball Z persona, and I don't think you want to see him."

The senior tugged them back in the direction of the rolls. "Oh, now I'm curious! You have to show me!"

"Maybe some other time." Yoongi muttered, dragging the other along. 

They approached the roll bag again, this time controlling their tendencies to make out with each other. The vent to the supposed outside of the fridge was just above the bag, with an easy-to-remove plastic cover. Namjoon started to climb with Yoongi close behind. It wasn't too steep to navigate, just a little squishy here and there. They held tightly to each other for balance, the give-and-take of their playful dynamic helping as they surpassed each roll of the mountain.

"Ah, Namjoon, hang on." Yoongi paused when they were almost to the top. "I have to tell you something."

"Don't tell me you thought of another pun to tel-"

"Namjoon! Do you have a long stick? Because you butter my roll."

Yoongi waved his hands at the pile of beige breads underneath his feet and back at himself. This kid couldn't be more serious. Namjoon fell apart.

"OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD." 

Namjoon grabbed at the plastic as he toppled down, laughter falling out of him as smoothly as the rather suggestive pun. Handfuls of the plastic curled in his fists as he watched Yoongi's expression change to one of fondness as he watched him. 

When Namjoon finally straightened after a good minute of laughter, Yoongi poked his side. "So are you gonna answer or..."

"If...haha! The question about if I have a long dic--I mean stick?! HAHA! Ohhh, Yoongi. What am I going to do when we can't share these puns about food anymore." Namjoon reached out for Yoongi's hand once more. 

The sophomore took it instantly. "What do you mean anymore? I thought we were boyfriends. Am I supposed to stop with the puns once we're out of here because, honey, that ain't happenin."

A dimple popped out on Namjoon's face, highlighting the caramel-colored skin and the cute crinkle of his eyes. Yoongi smiled the rest of the way up the bread bag, glad that they were finally going to escape. 

"Namjoon." Yoongi started again once they got to the top. "I'm so happy we made it here. All in one piece." 

The senior glanced down at his fully-healed leg. "Yep...although...I do feel sad that...Jin isn't here anymore..."

Closing his eyes, Yoongi gave Namjoon's late friend a moment of respectful silence before he took both of the senior's hands in his own. "It's okay, Joon. I'm sure he's happily out of this fridge...somewhere..."

And truly, Yoongi didn't know if Jin would be alive on the other side. In whatever world this was, if Jin had died...did that mean he was dead on the outside? What was the outside? 

Was Noodle being fed?

Namjoon sighed, eyeing the vent. "There are so many unknowns, Yoongi. I hope that when we get out of here, we have each other to sort them out. Hell, we don't even know if this will work! What if we just fall to our deaths!?"

"We won't." Yoongi knocked once on the plastic of the vent cover. "I just...have a feeling. It'll work. We didn't do all that for nothing, don't worry."

Namjoon mustered his best 'I believe you' face that he could. The leaf-boy set his jaw in determination. They both turned around once last time to face the contents of the fridge they'd spent a good portion of time inside.

"Well...farewell old friend." Yoongi waved at the foods, at the fly that was somewhere within the large refrigerator. He waved at the fruits, the scary hand that had came to visit them a few times, to the egg carton that they'd peed in, to the cold floor and constant humming sound that he'd grown accustomed to. 

"I'm not going to miss it one bit." Namjoon chided before turning around to face the vent. "I hate this place. I don't want to ever own a fridge. I'll only eat takeout from now on."

"Hah!"

Namgi took a few deep breaths before the leaf-boy placed a hand under the side of the vent cover. 

"You ready?"

Namjoon hummed. "As I'll ever be."

Yoongi yanked back hard, exposing their route of escape.

+     +     +

Chapter Text

Yoongi gaped at the exit of the fridge, expecting to see something beautiful, elegant. Something that would shine as brightly as the hope inside of his heart. Namjoon stood next to him, impatiently tapping his foot, waiting for the same thing, for some man to pop out in the space in front of them screaming congratulations! you have made it to the end! here is 1,000,000 dollars in prize money for escaping this hidden camera show!

But that did not happen.

After Yoongi had torn the vent opening off in wild expectancy, all that was left was a sad opening. Gray, ongoing, and a bit dim. Cold air puffed from it, blowing both his and Namjoon's hair back.

"Ugh, Joon, I guess we have to actually navigate the vents?" Yoongi started forward, crossing his arms in disappointment. "I don't like this one BIT! This reminds me of Five Nights at Freddy's. Are you sure there aren't any animatronics down here?"

The vent didn't answer. More wind blew out, past their still figures.

Namjoon frowned. "Huh? Five what's in Frezno? Animal tropics?"

Yoongi kicked the side of the vent. "Nevermind. I forgot, playing games isn't in your vocabulary."

Saying nothing, Namjoon ventured behind Yoongi into the dark space. They walked for a bit, the receding light from the fridge interior allowing them to see less and less. Without speaking, Yoongi slithered his clammy hand into Namjoon's warm one for reassurance.

"It's creepy down here...don't you think?"

Namjoon shrugged, but Yoongi couldn't see it because of the lack of illumination. "Ah, not really. Just a vent."

"Man..." Yoongi started. "When we get out of this fridge I have so many games to show you. Horror games. The ones where your flashlight dies at the worst part of the game, right before the lady with the long black hair twists her neck around in your dying flashlight beam before she kills you."

Giggling, Namjoon pulled Yoongi closer to him. They could see almost nothing, the light of the fridge just a small square behind them. "I wish we had a flashlight. It feels like I'm going into a mine without my head light."

"Ooooh, so you play Minecraft?"

"What? No." Namjoon shivered. The air in the vent was much cooler, as it pumped the fridge full of its icy flare. "I don't play anything, like you said. I'm a triple major, remember? I don't have time for that."

Yoongi suddenly stopped. 

"Namjoon."

The senior, confused at the leaf-boy's antics, worriedly felt around in the dark for the boy's shoulder. When he found a shoulder he squeezed it.

"Yes, Yoongs? What's wrong?"

A moment of silence passed. Namjoon thought that perhaps Yoongi was backing out of the whole escape thing, too afraid of the dark to risk the trip any longer. After a few seconds, the boy spoke in a quiet voice.

"Can you promise me something?"

Namjoon nodded, then realized stupidly that the other couldn't see him. "Of course. Anything. As long as its not to do your homework for you."

Yoongi scoffed. "Honestly, that's what you think I'd ask? I wouldn't let you around my homework! I doubt you know how to code a simple textbox. Anyway! No, I was going to ask you if you'd make time for me. Because um...now that we're like...uh, together, and-"

"Yoongi." Namjoon was speaking to the darkness, hoping the other could hear the sincerity in his voice. "You've taught me so much in here, I don't even think I need to graduate college to be successful in life. And honestly, I'm sick of studying. When we get out of here, I think I'm going to downsize to one major, maybe take a year off? Now that I have you...I want to live my fucking life! Not spend it in a studying cubicle or inside a fucking fridge!"

Laughter rose out of the abyss, and Namjoon knew he had done something right. It felt good to get off of his chest. Like a huge weight that had been crushing his bones, the burden somehow lifted off of him when he announced his change in plans. 

A few thumps could be heard just in front of him, and the senior realized that the sophomore was jumping up and down.

"YAY! Project Turn Joon Back Into a Human From a Robot: success!"

A warmth grew inside the senior's chest. Never had he grown so close to a person so fast before, despite their opposite nature. It made him believe that anything was possible.

"Now that I'm not a robot anymore, can we get out of here?"

Yoongi ceased his jumping and tugged Namjoon's hand. He puffed out his chest into the unknown darkness and flipped on a switch that gave his voice a quality that reminded Namjoon of Thor. "Yep. Into the dark, we commence once more!"

"Onward, to the real world!"

Namjoon and Yoongi continued walking. In fact, they walked for what felt like hours, nothing but the dark and their footsteps for company. Namjoon felt a headache coming on from the dizzying sensation of lumbering forward into darkness. His eyes grew tired from straining for anything visible and his legs grew numb from walking. Eventually, he couldn't even feel Yoongi's hand in his own. 

Were they still in the fridge?

"Yoongs?" 

Namjoon tried, but he realized the leaf-boy was no longer beside him. 

"YOONGI?!"

*     *     *

✧

Yoongi--Yoongi's head hurts.

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Namjoon?

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NOODLE!?

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What is this...feeling?

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what is no wake up!WAKE UPWAKEUPWAKEUP

*     *     *

Yoongi shoots up from his spot on the wooden floor, opening his eyes. The first thing that hits him is the warmth. The warm, nice sensation of home heaters and indoor temperature control. Yoongi no longer hears a loud, irritational hum of the fridge motor, but the low pulsing sound of electronic music. The room he's sitting in is dimly lit, only a few fairy lights bordering the outskirts of the small bedroom with a smooth wooden floor. 

His head pounds as he sits up, rubbing his temple. He blinks, confused. Where is he?

"Not in the fridge...wait...what fridge? Why am I thinking of a fridge..."

Yoongi rubs at his eyes. Why was he passed out on the floor of someone's bedroom in the first place?

As his eyes slowly adjust, he realizes he isn't alone in the room. A dark figure is propped on the bed, laying on its side, head facing away from him. Curiosity grasps his foggy mind as he struggles to remember what happened to him. 

"Fuck..." Yoongi swats at an annoying fly that lands on his chin. It keeps coming back to him, flying to his face as if it holds the answer to some mental equation that he doesn't know. "Buzz off!"

As he swings at the poor beast, he realizes something. Tiny particles of lettuce fall off of his sweatshirt and skinny jeans. In fact, as he looks down, he's covered in leaves. 

"What...even?"

Yoongi looks around for some sign of the origin of the mysterious lettuce, eyes scouring the small room. After crawling around the perimeter of the bed, he sees it. A mini fridge sits in the corner, wide open, its contents spilled out across the floor.

Some peaches are crushed, grapes falling out of their container, oranges left half-peeled in the corner of the room. Water bottles tipped on their side are propped next to the fridge, a carton of milk leans dangerously out of the tiny appliance, blocks of cheese dented with tiny finger marks, a mysteriously wet egg carton sitting out in the open. 

Yoongi examines the contents more. What the hell could have caused such a mess? And why was he full of lettuce?

He spies a ketchup bottle, an entire loaf of cinnamon raisin bread torn apart, cans of dented beer and soda, an untouched pickle jar...it was everywhere. The worst part of the edible pig sty was a cake, its frosted contents spread everywhere. Gazing down at his hand, he notices various colors from the rainbow frosting dye staining his fingertips.

Did he eat some of the cake?

Finally, he spots a jar of mayo and some dinner rolls next to a bust up vent. He wonders how it became broken. He thinks for a while.

It's a rather random conglomeration of fridge goods for a college student's bedroom. But he doesn't judge--his own fridge is filled with various items for himself and his dog, Noodle.

"Agh...ow!" A harsh pound hits his head and he groans. Why is his head so pained? He tries to stand on his feet but find his legs are asleep.

"Uhhmmm....hmmm...wha...?"

The sudden groans rising from the bed make Yoongi's ears perk up. The figure on the bed is definitely male, given his size, but Yoongi doesn't know what he has been doing in the same bedroom as a stranger. 

Memories loosely flow back into his mind as the pulse of another EDM song flows from outside of the room. He can faintly hear laughing, a random yell, some screams...ah, yes. He went to the one graduation party he was invited to. He couldn't miss out on the free food, entertainment...and honestly, he was getting bored of sitting at home all day with Noodle and his computer.

But how he got in the bedroom...? Why he was in there?

"Mmmm...hello? Who are you?" The owner of the voice pulls himself up from the bed, getting in a seated position. Yoongi finds the groggy voice rather soothing, somehow familiar. He can't see the man's face, though. "And why do I have stickers covering my face?"

Something about the stickers jog Yoongi's memory. He remembers helping an injured person move, limping with them...growing to like them...wait, what?

"I could ask why I'm covered in lettuce? Why I'm in this room? Why do I have such a god awful headache...? But I won't, because I have to sleuth out the truth as Inspector...Gadget."

Yoongi doesn't mean to sound so bitchy, so snappish, but he does. The man on the bed stiffens. Yoongi thinks it might be because of his rude behavior. "Did you just say Inspecto...Gizmo?"

Yoongi feels himself getting very dizzy. "Can I turn a light on? I need to turn a light on. I can't see and I'm...afraid of the dark? Dark vents...wait. Then he said, Five...what's in Frezno..."

The figure on the bed gasps, wiggling around to get off. Luckily for the sophomore covered in leaves, this man can use his legs just fine. The man stumbles towards where the light switch is, flipping it on.

At first, the light is so bright that both males squint painfully. In the intense light, Yoongi can see what a mess the room truly is, with food everywhere and the bed a mess. He probably looks a little rough on the edges himself, but he can't focus on himself as the man in front of him becomes clear.

The tall, handsome college student looks equally as surprised, eyes widening at Yoongi's hunched figure. The stickers covering his face are peeled half off, giving his neat polo and black pants a much less sophisticated look.

"Y-Yoongi?"

Gasping, the sophomore tries to stand up. He can't take his face off of those dark mocha eyes and caramel skin. "Nam...It's Namjoon, right?"

Namjoon nods, blinking a few times in half-confusion. "So...that whole experience inside the fridge..."

Yoongi finds his eyes watering. "You r-remember? I...I woke up and didn't know if I was going crazy or what...then I saw the food and..."

He trails off, unsure of what to say. As the memories of the fridge hit him like a brick to the stomach, his cheeks start picking up color. The sensation of Namjoon's lips against his, them declaring themselves boyfriends, smiling at each other-

It all comes back.

Namjoon seems to feel the same pull of embarrassment as he rips countless stickers off of his person. His neck, ears, and cheeks are all flushed as he works on removing the adhesives in silence.

Right as Yoongi is about to ask him about how they could be in the same dream, the door handle clicks sharply to the side. The room admits a single person with a worried expression on his face. Yoongi has never seen the person before in his life, but clearly Namjoon knows the man. Instantly, the blush is wiped off of the senior's face, replaced by an expression of shock.

"SEOKJIN?! YOU'RE ALIVE!"

Namjoon brings the confused man in for a tight hug, not caring that he was still half covered in stickers. The now identified man gives Yoongi a strange look before releasing Namjoon.

"Of course I'm alive..." His eyebrows scrunch as he scrutinizes the room. He doesn't miss the piles of mangled food scattered across the floor, nor the worn out looks of the other boys. "You two must've had a pretty weird trip, huh?"

"Trip?" Yoongi clears his throat. "What do you mean...trip?"

Jin blinks slowly. "You don't remember? The party raffle...drawing thingy that you two took part in? Loser has to take LSD in a room alone? The winner got $500, but Namjoon was unlucky. He lost, and was forced to carry out the consequence of his entry. Only...you," Jin points a finger into Yoongi's chest. "You volunteered to take LSD with him, cause you were curious."

"What?" Yoongi catches Namjoon staring at him and he quickly looks away. "Why would I volunteer to take acid? That's so dangerous and I have a dog to take care of-"

"Noodle." Namjoon chimes, turning towards Jin. "He has to take care of Noodle."

Yoongi's lips turn upwards, the fondness for this man multiplying in his chest. "Uh, er, yeah...I don't know why I took LSD, but-"

"You said something about a Mario level and how Mario wouldn't back down from the boss level of Bowser's Castle or something, honestly, I don't remember." Jin confesses, "But you were also pretty drunk when you said it, so."

Namjoon chuckles from his spot next to Jin, hands covering in mouth in reverie. "Oh my god, Yoongs...you seriously...anyway, what time is it? How long have we been here, been--out?"

Jin shuffles around. "Oh, I'm not sure. We're saying goodbye to the last guests of Logan's party now. It's like 6 AM. So...9-10 hours? Logan told me I could crash in his room, but I see that's not an option now..."

Yoongi bursts out in interminable laughter, walking over to Namjoon. "Wait! Jin, is this the Logan! THE PIMP! I don't remember checking the name closely on the invitation! But it's him! Oh my god, Namjoon, why did you come to this party?"

Namjoon shrugs. "I wanted to have fun before my last exams. It seems that got a little out of hand..."

Jin nods, crossing his arms. He doesn't miss the warmth between Yoongi and Namjoon's exchanges, watching how they interact as if they've known each other for years. 

"I came in here to tell you the party's over. You two are free to go home now. Logan is kicking the last of the stragglers out, and he's kinda raging drunk himself. I'd suggest you two call it adios."

Namjoon sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Damn. I'm never taking acid again."

Laughing, Yoongi takes Namjoon's hand in his out of habit. "Me either."

Jolting at the sophomore's fond touch outside of the fridge, Namjoon's mouth slightly parts in surprise. However, he doesn't let go. Jin lifts an eyebrow at the smile blooming on the senior's face.

"Did I, uh, miss something?" Jin slaps the back of Namjoon's back. "Are you still high?"

"No." 

Namjoon grins so brightly that Jin is taken aback. The small sophomore fits nicely at the senior's side, making a perfect pair. Yoongi turns his head up, wild eyes betraying his normally serious expression. Those eyes say it all, wandering between jokes, puns, and unsaid words of affection as Namjoon stares into them. Before Namjoon finishes answering Jin, he peels the last piece of lettuce off of the edge of Yoongi's neck and presses a quick kiss to the now leafless-boy's lips. When he glances up, Jin's jaw is nearly touching the floor.

"I'm not high, and I've never felt better." Yoongi is still blushing from the kiss, any leftover ice in his heart from the frigidness of the fridge instantly melting at Namjoon's next words. "Seokjin, meet Yoongi, my new boyfriend."

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FIN.

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Ending Notes

Yum!

I'd like to start the end off by saying that originally I never expected the story to finish this way. I was going to make it like a game, one that Yoongi coded himself since he was a computer science major. After much thought though, I felt that Namjoon needed to be a real person instead of just one inside Yoongi's game. I liked the thought of an acid trip, despite it being illegal, illicit, and, yeah, don't do acid kids.

Writing this story was a bit difficult for me, especially during times when I wasn't so happy and bubbly as Yoongi always is in the scenes. I found that I could only think and write up certain chapters of the story when I was feeling especially creative and...hungry. HAHA!

As for themes of this book, well, I wouldn't exactly fit this storyline into a clean cut theme. It is clear through the various aspects of the fridge meshing with real life and personality differences that this story was supposed to represent the different beauties and hardships of life, love, and the adventure of the unknown. 

And for any of you who are confused, the entire "fridge" scene was the unfolding of the acid trip. Going up the floors was a metaphor for the hallucinations intensifying, making Yoongi and Namjoon more crazy and, inevitably, leading them to connect on a deeper level. It takes a while for Yoongi to "find" Namjoon on the trip because when they first entered the room they probably were very "frigid" with each other--AKA, not wanting to speak to a stranger at a party who was doing LSD with the other in a secluded bedroom.

HAHA!

I made a lot of inside jokes, lame references, and poor humor quality word groupings that may or may not have touched your funny bones. However, like Yoongi, I won't apologize for my nature and instead I'll act on it. I don't think I'll ever write a story as fucked as this but...it was beautiful while I worked on it. 

Lastly, I want to thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this crazy story and if you want to read more, you know where to find me. I have a few stories out already that may just touch that broken part of your library that needs fixing. And you don't even need to ask Inspector Gadget to inspect it! :)

Okay, I'll shut up now. With love, eternally and always,

Izzy

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