Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2020-06-05
Words:
17,072
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
8
Kudos:
30
Bookmarks:
4
Hits:
406

you can't be uncle, i'm her uncle

Summary:

summer stretches out, full of plans. an off-season for the reigning champ. to relax and recalibrate.
a disruption, inveitable. ant doesn't expect it in such a tiny form.

or, all plans of ant and abt, often go astray.

Notes:

a preface to the preface, this was written and completed before the berlin race at home fallout. it therefore diverges completely from canon, as everything seems to have done so in this precarious period of time. also it deals with very fictionalised versions of people so this doesn't matter anyways.

for V, as always. for hearing me out when i said 'ant and abt are perfect for the 'accidentally acquires a baby trope'.' and batting back with equally good plot lines some of which i have invariably poached for here. also for teaching me german that doesn't start with 'ich kann...' for the sake of random narratives. i have treasured our lockdown braincell as much as i treasure deutsch post. which is to say alot.

this work is fictional. please do not send or post outside of ao3. i do not believe this to be true in real life.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

There is a sequence of events, that have led to Antonio sat on the sofa rocking his niece's tiny body in his arms. Events that are not of his concern anymore, now he has seen her, Rosalia, with her beautiful soft skin, bright blue eyes, and tiny tuft of hair.

He has loved her, since the moment his brother burst into Ant's house with tears streaming from his eyes. Ant knew, rocking Rosalia on his knees, looking up into his brother’s face, that his world had changed. The story that Pedro weaves is complicated. sad. Ant does what any sibling would, stops his own world just to help. Pedro sits, idly throwing a ball to Taco, drinking coffee. Not quite himself.

Goes, kissing his child gently on her forehead. Ant is left, knowing that the giant bag by the door is the new normal. He does not blame his brother though, if he were in that situation, he would probably want nothing more than to drive away and never stop.

That it is just him and Rosalia, sat on the sofa lulled by the sounds of the world passing by, her eyes closed, just gentle soft breathing. World outside suddenly so audible through the open door, where the dogs are spread out on the patio, basking in the sun. It is all orchestrated by the radio, and its happy chatter of hosts with summer songs stretched in between. This tiny portion he calls his summer break has evolved into something new. Different.

Then Rosalia wakes up, looks at him with her curious eyes. And Ant realises he is suddenly taking care of a baby when he feels like he has only just grasped on how to take care of himself.

Truthfully, it does not take long for Ant to work it all out. Maybe that's why Pedro left Rosalia with him. There is a balance to it all. Getting up at the right time, making sure he does not fall asleep on the sofa, organising races online with his friends at reasonable hours. Turns out no one resents you if you have to leave a race midway through to go care for a baby. Some of the younger ones give him a bit of stick, until he sends a photo of Rosalia in between his lap holding a toy steering wheel. The clip of Lando holding the picture up to show his Twitch followers goes big in the weird social media motorsports circle.

All the plans he had meticulously crafted as the Formula E season came to a close have gone out of the window. Now he savours every morning hike he takes, Rosalia strapped to his chest in a baby harness he buys from one of the Instagram targeted ads that have quickly cottoned on to the presence of a kid in his life.

Taco and Glock love the stretch, yap around while he pauses to take pictures of the sun breaking across the horizon. Those are the ones he posts to Instagram, keeping the close ups of dusty pink sunrise hues dancing across Rosalia's skin for his own camera roll.

It feels like he spends an hour every day just responding to messages about how cute she is from other drivers and old acquaintances. Sebastian Vettel calls him one morning, just after he gets back from a walk, their halfway through discussing best ways to get a baby to sleep when it occurs to Ant that Seb doesn't even have social media, so how he had known about Rosalia is confusing. Seb laughs, makes a remark, and then informs Ant about the tomatoes he and the girls have grown. That if Ant need's any help he could always come up to Switzerland, sure it is a long drive but Seb would be happy to see him. It would alleviate some of the stresses of things if nothing else, Seb laughs down the phone, with that mischievous giggle of his that Antonio has nothing but fond memories off.

Ant texts his brother, who takes half a day to respond, he is burping Rosalia in the kitchen trying not to worry what terrible scenario his brother may have ended up in when the reply comes through.

yes, that's fine, sorry I was sleeping.

Which is a reassurance that Pedro is alive and not mad he is disappearing from Portugal to go gallivant across the continent with Pedro's child. Ant hatches a plan, calls in a few favours. Organises for a summer holiday road trip, with a nine-month-old baby. Lucky, he knows drivers in every country between Portugal and Switzerland who are very willing to let Ant stop over for the night.

Yet he quickly realises it's not him they want around, but Rosalia, if just to coo over her. He gets it, even though she has kept him up till god knows when in the hotel they had to stay in last night, somewhere halfway through Spain. He had felt like he was running on empty, wandering through the hotel just to get her to hush.

He still loves her, even on what feels might be about five minutes of sleep. There is also something very funny every time a concerned hotel worker looks his way and he wonders if they think he has stolen a baby and is now driving her from country to country. The frazzled hair and the dogs probably do not help. Alright, Ant’s never claimed to be Formula One recognisable, but someone in the hotel apparently knows who he is, show's his Instagram around and it all smooths over easily.

He is pulling into André's driveway in Gourdes when the text comes through, too distracted by Jev immediately opening the car door to greet Rosalia, the sudden sharp barking of Taco and Glock as they escape to greet Max.

So, the text notification sound drops to the back of his mind, bundled in drinking red wine and looking out at the sunset over the south of France. Jev has not let go of Rosalia, André is there, looking very fond of it all.

Either the red wine or the last of the summer heat from the sun slipping down the sky has gone to Ant's head, he settles down early for bed, not long after Jev finally let's Ant put Rosalia in her travel cot, handing her over reluctantly like he cannot bear to be parted from her. Which Ant cannot begrudge him for.

The guest room is minimal, the bedsheets cool, feel like they are a stupidly expensive thread count, fitting for the owner of this particular holiday home. When he wakes up, it is to the glow of the sunrise, hum of soft jazz combined with the smell of fresh coffee imbuing the room. Rosalia is not in her cot, but he chooses not to worry, he can hear her giggles and French murmuring coming through the door, still left open. That's when he finally checks his phone.

you visit all these other drivers but i don't get to see the little one? don't trust me around a baby? lucas thinks i'm great with his kid. 

Ant laughs, it would not be too insane after a few day's at Seb’s to drive up and into Germany. There is a delight that tickles him with the promise of seeing Daniel Abt around a child just seems to be enticing to turn down. André and Jev laugh like it is a good idea, drive Ant into town to stock up on more provisions and see him off. Parting Rosalia from Jev's arms is probably the hardest thing. He doesn’t even think André has had a chance to hold Rosalia, the way Jev has been doting on her.

Glad that their teammates this year, that there is no resentment between Jev and André, no hard feelings even though he beat Jev in the point's standings. Jev still seems like a proper friend, standing on the gravel driveway waving goodbye leaning slightly into André’s arms.

So, Ant leaves France happy and content, Rosalia gargling in the back seat at the dog's barking. He thinks they might have to stop in a hotel. He'd left Gourdes early enough, and even though Rosalia seems to have been worn out by Jev and André 's attention, tiny face looking peaceful as every time he looks in the rear-view mirror and catches her sleeping in her chair. He still has to let Taco and Glock out, Rosalia still needs feeding and changing. Little things that can’t be ignored just because everyone is exhausted now.

By the time he pulls over at a rest stop, it's past midday and Ant finds he has been led as much by his own stomach growling as Rosalia starting to hiccup cries in the backseat. Taco flops out on his lap, apparently finally weary from chasing Cheetah round in circles with Max and Glock. Rosalia crawls across the blanket he has spread out, only spits up half the mush that constitutes baby food and then gets distracted by her toys, which Ant takes as a perfect time to feed himself.

Their back on the road after the awkward rigmarole of the lack of facilities in men's bathrooms for baby changing. Rosalia content to spend the rest of the way back to Switzerland staring at the world going by from the car window. Ant plays some Fleet Foxes quietly, sings along while checking in on her, cautious glances at the way the shadows of the sun come through the protector tacked on to the window, bounce across her skin.

Seb greets him with open arms, looking absolutely at peace even while the girls run circles around his feet. It's something different, a big hearty dinner before he is shown to the guest room. There is a crib all ready, Rosalia of course decides that this will be the night she causes a fuss. It takes what feels like forever for her to finally settle down, Ant curled up in his pyjama's, eyes scanning the Knick Knacks that make up Vettel's guest room. The sheets, not as luxurious as the ones in the Lotterer household, yet so inviting, are ignored in favour of rocking Rosalia back and forth until she finally dozes off properly. She only wakes up once, which Ant takes as a miracle.

He wakes up naturally though, by the sun and not by baby cries, which feels blissful. Until he clocks the crib, jolting up and out of the bed with the realisation that it's empty. Rosalia nowhere to be seen.

He accepts Hanna laughing at him when he makes it to the kitchen, t-shirt on inside out and his pyjama pants half falling down. Rosalia is sat in a highchair, looking absolutely delighted to finally have friends her age and tasty baby mush for breakfast.

Hanna slides him breakfast across the counter without saying a word.

Considering he has had the role of fatherhood thrust upon him, unprepared. It turns out to be one of the most carefree weeks of his life, being around Seb and Hanna, experienced in parenthood. How he gets to relearn the quirks of Sebastian, something he was so familiar with what could have been a lifetime ago.

There is a decent divide between Hanna and Seb regarding parental duties, in that they do not adhere to the classic 'Man and Woman' job stereotypes. On Tuesday Ant and Seb look after the kids while Hanna does her own thing, Thursday Ant ends up in the garden planting succulents in between rocks. 'Seb's always wanted to try growing more than just Aloe Vera', Hanna had said the night before. It is a nice way to bond, tucking tiny cuttings of snake plants in between juts of rock and shingle. Barely notices the way Seb's oldest wanders over, asks to help and carefully helps putting in tiny aloe plants.

Ant find's he is sort of sad when it's time to go. They all drive out to the market, stock up on food again just in the way André and Jev did. Rosalia looks cute in her pushchair, chewing happily on the handle of a jute bag.

He sends off a photo Seb takes, of him leaning Rosalia in to pick up some tomatoes from the stall, to Daniel. Because he is fed up of the texts the German is filling his phone with.

she is so cute.

so rude your keeping rosalia from her uncle abt

Ant gives in and facetimes Daniel, fights with him that he can't be Uncle Abt because he himself is her Uncle. The moment he disconnects, cheeks hurting from smiling at Dan's antics, he gets a message.

is daddy abt okay then?

Ant can do nothing but reply with a threat of going back to France, in return, all Dan sends is a picture of him pouting. Captioned. 'Thanks bro, Daddy Abt it is'

He leaves the Vettel's and Switzerland behind, of course the drive ends up being stressful. Rosalia screams half the time which bugs the dogs, sending them into distress at her wails. Nothing he plays or does soothes her. He has to stop more than planned, just because he is not getting enough sleep with Rosalia staying up all manners of odd hours. That is when the fear starts to sink in that he's messing this all up.

Antonio has spent his whole life being a race car driver, thinking children are for when he is settled down, ready for the challenge. Poor Rosalia will grow up to hate cars, or at least BMWs. He refuses to drive on a bad night's sleep though, Daniel does not seem mad in the messages he replies to, every time Ant send's an apology that they will be longer than he thought.

Dan somehow seems more Broish than normal, Ant's scared at this point. That this is also a mistake, taking Rosalia to meet Daniel, who while smart in some senses, is also still like a kid half the time. in a sense, Antonio would have thought the same of himself until Rosalia came into his life a month ago.

That's the thought that calms him, and apparently what calms Rosalia, as he tells her his thoughts out loud. Taco gives out a sort of half-hearted howl, and it's just Ant, German roads, and Fleet Foxes again.

Which is a feeling of confidence that lasts until he pulls into the car park of Dan’s apartment complex. Finding Daniel sat on top of a tiny child sized electric Audi next to the parking space. For a second Ant finds himself wanting to put the car in reverse and drive all the way back to Portugal.

But Rosalia is finally quiet, she cannot even see the toy car, only Ant's subjected to Daniel with his knees bent at odd angles on the plastic car, smiling like he is really happy to see Ant pull into the lot.

Ant lets the dogs out first, opening the door to let Taco and Glock scatter out. He hears some faint German, a slight crashing noise followed by barking. It's not enough of a cacophony to make him worry. Too preoccupied with unclipping Rosalia from her seat, lifting her body, heavier and heavier even in the month he has been caring for her. Baby blue eyes wide open, unbothered by Ant's hold on her. Clinging her tiny fingers around his hand though, an action that mean’s nothing, a reactive movement she has done a thousand times before.

But right now, after such a tiring journey here, it means so much more than that. It feels like acceptance.

Ant takes her over, to where Dan is sprawled on the floor, the silly toy Audi half skidded down the concrete, pushed away by Dan's legs and his stupid Off-White trainers. The dogs come back to clip around Ant's ankles, leaving Dan half covered in slobber bemused, with puppy eyes to rival the dogs very best.

Rosalia lets go of Ant's hand as they make it over to Dan, flops her tiny arm out in the air. Dan is standing up, dusting off specks of dirt from the jeans Ant expects cost more than the toy car.

'Toni, she waved at me, that means for sure I’m Uncle Abt'

'It wasn't a wave, she just moved her arm', Ant's regret sinks deeper. he should have stayed at Sebastian's longer. He wants to be a cool fun parent, but he isn't even Rosalia’s parent, suddenly in this melancholy mood for reasons unsure, stress sinking in.

Then Daniel scoops Rosalia up and out of Ant's arms, holds her perfectly. She is already gurgling this weird hiccup like laugh, all gummy smile with her chubby cheeks looking up at Abt.

'Sonnenschein' Daniel whispers, a smile as per normal stretched across his face.

Rosalia curls her finger around Daniel's, and Ant thinks maybe he was optimistic in seeing it as a sign of her accepting him. Apparently, she also seems willing to accept German idiots into her life. Then Daniel coos, wiggles the finger that Rosalia's fist is wrapped around. 'I'm your Daddy Abt',

Ant then thinks he might kill Abt on the spot. Rosalia's too young to remember seeing a murder surely. He can get Taco and Glock to dig the hole. Shallow grave.

Ant starts unpacking from the boot of the car, already feeling forgotten by his hosts for third time in a row. Dan appears at his side, ducking under the boot lid, shoves his body against Ant's side while still holding Rosalia.

'Yo, sorry. Just excited to see this one.'

Ant lets Daniel tuck his body alongside him, they have always been pretty tactile and with Rosalia in the German's arm's it’s basically a hug.

'You don't need any of this, just bring your bags'

'What, you've got the important cargo then? Can't help?',

Ant asks, instead of allowing himself to be confused as to why he only needs his bags. Dan laughs, waves Rosalia's hand and says in a stupidly high-pitched voice.

'Sorry Uncle Ant, Daddy Abt's hands are full'.

They squabble through the parking lot, Taco and Glock at their heels.

Ant is expecting to be shown to a guest room, he is expecting it to be curated for Daniel Abt's taste. Which is what he finds. But he's not expecting the crib set up next to the bed, two neatly wrapped presents on the covers of the double bed.

Rosalia's still in Daniel's arms. Ant can hear Daniel chatting to her like he's found a new best friend.

He set's the bags down by the bed, runs his hand over the covers. Normal thread count. Walks back out to Dan, he figures he should apologise for his attitude.

Abt's sourced a highchair, and Rosalia is secured in it, absolutely delighted by Dan pulling all manner of silly faces at her.

Sure, he'd come from Sebastian’s, but there is no calm with four children in the house. This feels like a true breather. Ant bumps his hips against Dan's back.

'You sourced all this then?'

'Well I had to make your stay comfy. did you open your presents?'

Dan looks suitably excited, even just looking at Ant across the kitchen table. Yet seems to sense, for once, that Ant is tired, he shakes his head no at Daniel's question.

'Go have a nap. I’m sure I can take care of little one for an hour'

He does not want to be parted from her, but Dan genuinely looks like he has it all under control.

Instead he holds his hands up, backs out of the room begging.

'Please, don't have her first words be 'All The Way Abt'

Ant walks back to the guest room to Daniel’s laughter, impressively manages to get his shoes and jeans off before he hits the pillow. Fast asleep.

It feels like five minutes before he's awoken again. Used to sleeping light for fear that something will happen to Rosalia in the night. This time it’s because he can feel a weight on the bed, blocking where he wants to turn over into. It's strangely silent which is probably what moves Ant into full awareness. The silence, he quickly realises, is just the duvet wrapped over his head, blocking out the beautiful ambient sound of Rosalia wailing with the background bonus of barking. That’s enough to get him out of the security of the duvet. Dan is staring at him fear in his eyes.

'Nappy change' he manages, before his head hits the pillow again. Dan's insistent though, wiggling next to him. 'Toni, Toni wake up I cannot change a nappy. Scheiße'

Truly, they must make a hilarious picture. Two drivers standing above a bed, Rosalia squirming on the plastic protective mat placed down in a rush. Antonio trying to teach Daniel how to change a nappy, he sort of wishes Rosalia would commit to the cliché and pee on Daniel.

But they manage it, Ant takes the mat off the bed and manages to slump back down into the sheets. He hears the familiar sound of a face time call, Dan's native language, the sound of a woman replying. Dan swaps to English pretty quickly,

'Say hello Toni'

'Hello Toni',

Ant replies, because he's cranky tired and wants to be rewarded with something that is not pride for just Rosalia. Dan laughs, and so does the Woman on face time. Ant realises it is Dan’s sister, he's met Marina in passing enough times to pop up without a mask of professionalism plastered on.

She must think it's a funny sight, her brother dishevelled next to another Driver in bed. With a baby. He greets her, takes Rosalia from Dan's arms and falls back into the pillows. Dan's preferred method of communication seems to be in short five-minute bursts. Marina has hung up before Ant's really registered half the conversation with what little German he understands.

He finally opens the presents, forced by Dan looking eagerly over him. The first is an allthewayabt hoodie, in a Medium, which makes Ant roll his eyes. The second, is a stuffed toy bear, wearing what seems to be a child sized allthewayabt shirt, tied in a knot so it fits on the toy bear.

'It's probably going to be too big for this little one right now, but in a few months. I thought matching shirts would be really sweet.'

Ant tragically, also think's its sweet. And then laughs because of course Dan is in one of the allthewayabt shirts as well, the German's eyes go big when he realises this.

'Can you manage her for a while, I should go shower'

'Sure, I think Rosalia will survive with her Uncle Abt for ten minutes alone. How quick do babies make more poop?’ Ant cannot stop laughing as he heads into the en-suite.

Dan say's nothing when Ant comes out in the allthewayabt shirt. Ant doesn't notice the way Dan's eyes look him up and down either, to distracted by getting to have one on one time again with his niece.

It takes about a week before Ant notices that they have slipped into a routine. Where previously it had been Ant, Rosalia and another family unit helping out, now it is just him and Daniel. Swapping who cooks dinner, who trains in the home gym and who looks after Rosalia and so on.

Walking through Kempten, down past the river, Rosalia somehow still sleeping in her pushchair even while the gravel paths beneath are vibrating Ant's hands through the handle. Ant even found Dan one night having beat him to Rosalia's nightly feed, which concerns him slightly since Rosalia is sleeping in his room. Everyday more and more he feels like he is encroaching on Dan's life.

Daniel has always been so business and friend orientated. Ant's had to put his whole life on hold for Rosalia, not worth dragging Daniel down as well. He would blame it on age but he's only a year older than Dan, not much wiser.

Figures, its time they probably head back to Portugal, so he starts to pack up the detritus of the two Da Costa's that has spread through Abt's house in the span of seven days while Dan is at the office.

In between packing the bear Dan had gifted Rosalia, Ant realises he has not seen a girl around Dan in a while. Which is a shame, the German has adapted so well to caring for Rosalia, he would make a good boyfriend. Caring, considerate, a little bit more mature than he was a while ago. Settled down but still raring to party if needed. If Ant himself can't date for the time being, and if everyone else he knows is settled down, then at least he can hope for it for Daniel. It's an odd trail of thought to be going down, he should not be invested in Dan's life this much. Even if he has practically strewn his belongings around Daniel's house.

Ant hears the sound of the apartment doors opening.

'Toni, why are your bags in the hallway',

Dan has an edge of upset to his voice. He comes through into the guest room still clutching two paper grocery bags. Rosalia is asleep in her cot, Ant just having put her down. Pretending not to notice the crestfallen look on the other man’s face, he gets them both out to the kitchen. Just in case, they start a fight. Ant feels it will be safest to be in the furthest room from Rosalia.

Their unpacking groceries, talking in a hushed whisper orchestrated by the static crackles of the baby monitor.

'I figured it would be best if we headed back to Portugal. Get you back to your bachelor ways'

Which is not quite what Ant thinks he wanted to say. But is what is coming out anyways.

Realises Dan's actually upset when he speaks without any colloquialisms to pepper his words.

How funny his life has become, that Dan is putting tomatoes in the fridge not looking Ant in the eye saying

'Toni come on, you know you’re not an issue. I like having you around. Not just for the little one, but for you'

Ant expects the gentle way Dan taps their hips together. But not the hug he gets, half Dan's arms wrapped around him from behind, one hand accidentally getting caught in Ant's cross where it has slipped out from the protection of his t-shirt.

'Jens wanted to take her to the zoo, mostly because he wanted to go to the zoo, but man you can't leave just like-'

Whatever Dan has to say is cut off by the cries coming through the baby monitor. Dan jumping out of the hug, already halfway down the hallway to Rosalia's room before Ant really has had time to process what has just happened. Stood in the kitchen while Dan's expensive fridge beeps at him. Packs the last few things away at random unsure if Dan really has a structure to where he keeps his cheese, closes the fridge door and pad's down to his room.

Dan's sat on the bed, with a cloth thrown over his shoulder and Rosalia situated in his arms feeding from a bottle. He is rapping to her of course. Ant starts to unpack bags he had only just packed a few hours earlier while trying not to laugh at the sight of Daniel Abt whispering DJ KHALED to a baby.

Before he really notices, Rosalia is back asleep safely in her cot, Dan's sat on the edge of the bed, playing around on his phone by the time Ant's done unpacking. Suddenly he is exhausted, on too little sleep and a whirlwind of emotions. Sits down next to Daniel on the bed. Say's 'Thanks for letting us stay a little while longer'.

None of this excuses the fact that Ant sort of drifts off on Dan's shoulder, illuminated by the glow of the iPhone and the laughs vibrating through Dan at funny videos. Or the fact that when Ant is awoken again an hour or so later, him and Dan are curled up against one another in the bed.

The other man fast asleep, still clutching his phone. He has somehow wrapped himself around Dan, who didn't quite make it all the way back into the pillows. Which indicates that Dan moved Ant there after falling asleep. There is not much in age between them, but Ant doesn't think he looks younger when he sleeps, not in the way that Dan does. It makes the guilt of encroaching Dan's life slip in again. Until Dan twitches and his iPhone must detect his face or something, unlocking to the video that he must have fallen asleep to.

It looks like some YouTube prank, with girls in bikinis getting doused in water. Maybe Dan is doing just fine then. Ant's probably making up his own issues anyway. And not the way he feels inside when Dan stirs the moment Ant gets off the bed, it means nothing the way his stomach flops at the sight of the other man opening his eyes and saying 'Antonio, did I fall asleep?'

It’s not even six pm, yet the urge to crawl into the bed, proper this time, is deep.

Maybe Ant should not be worrying about Daniel getting laid but instead concentrate on his own sex life. Picks up Rosalia, who's woken up while he was in freefall on weird 'I should get laid' emotions and has crawled laps around her cot.

Ant tries not to notice the indents left by the pillow on Dan's head when the younger man finally makes it out to the kitchen, instead he concentrates on feeding Rosalia her food. Not the glimpse of skin where Dan's stupidly baggy branded shirt rides up as he reaches for something in the cupboard. He has spent his entire life in environments where seeing other men shirtless is okay, hell he'd even been in the back of the garage a few times with Robin in the Aguri days, seen Simona shirtless too. It is not a big deal. Fireproofs are sweaty and hot. Even at pool days, he's comfortable with being surrounded by shirtless men.

The point is, his meandering brain supplies, topless-ness does not bother him. His sexuality is not a big deal, not that he is open about it. But suddenly, seeing that glimpse of skin, knowing that Dan has that stupid tattoo on the other side. Ant's having a hard time wiring his brain back to the safety of 'colleagues'.

Which is probably how Dan wins the 'Jens and I will take Rosalia to the Zoo on Thursday' fight. That and the fact that he comes over with two bowls of steaming ramen that Ant has no idea when were made, was he that distracted in his 'Shit am I maybe into Daniel Abt of all people’ spiral.

Something changes, Ant's not sure if it's in his brain or if Dan feels it too. But after that, the waking up in the same bed even if it was above the covers, the fear on Daniel's face at the thought of Ant leaving. Flips everything off kilter a little. That there is this invitation of staying, with no expiry date scrawled down.

Dan makes good on the promise to take Rosalia to the Zoo, Jens picking them up, meeting them in the car lot. Pulling Ant into a handshake slash hug. Telling him they will have Rosalia back by four. Ant laughs, Jens yells something in German to Dan, pulls Ant into another hug and whispers in English. 'Don't hurt him'.

He doesn’t understand Jens words really. He is not Daniel's minder, just a friend. Who is living in his house, countries away from his own home. While he and Daniel share co-parenting duties, for a child that is only related to one of them. What is he going to hurt Dan with?

Suddenly, he is alone. In a house that does not belong to him. It is encroaching in, a space he is half in, half out off. Pulls running gear on, grabs Taco and Glock's leads. Takes to the back streets, the places that Daniel and he have walked Rosalia on. Down past the river, through the industrial areas.

Burning for something to do, in these few hours he does not have Rosalia to care for. Wasting time that could be spent doing things for himself. Somewhere along the line, in these two months it must be. Goals and desires have changed, realigned. Shifted from being about his wants. Now he is a Champion in his sport, this was meant to be a tiny bit of space to take care of himself.

They go back to simulator work next week. The next season is looming on the horizon, a chance to be the first Formula E World Champion, defend his title, get that glory. Something he alongside so many others wants. The run is not helping the fogging in his brain in fact every step makes thoughts cloud harder.

Showering does not help either. Taco and Glock are whining like they sense he is sad. He calls his brother, just as a check in. Admits it all down the phone, tries not to be accusing. There is no time for 'You left me with your baby, so you could do what you needed to do', because that's not how Ant feels.

More of a 'I'm sorry I have to keep interrupting our conversation, it’s just my co-worker of sorts whose house I’m staying in keeps sending me pictures of my niece at the zoo oh by the way I might be falling for said co-worker?.'

He ends up having to put Pedro on loudspeaker, just to stare at the photo of Rosalia, chubby thighs wrapped around Daniel's head, sleeves rolled down where he's holding her up so that a glimpse of the tattoo on his arm is visible.

 'I’m sorry', Pedro utters,

'You don't have to be'

'Take care of yourself Antonio, take care of my girl. I think I’m finally ready', Pedro hangs up before Ant's really found a proper reply, a footing in the conversation. It’s something half between a 'Love you' and 'I'm not' that falls down the receiver, chasing Pedro’s goodbye but mostly catching the dial tone.

Jens brings Rosalia home in one piece, Daniel not so much.

The poor guy looks like he has been through a car wash. Ant's wondering why Dan and all his friends are so good with children. Jens has Rosalia giggling even while she is clearly exhausted.

Dan seems to have drawn the short straw somehow, covered in what looks like spit up but could be ice cream. Jens sees Ant off with a hug, gets Rosalia to give him a 'high five', which is really just him holding her hand to his. Then does some strange serious of handshakes with Dan, in which Ant is pretty sure they say, 'All The Way Abt', but he could be mishearing.

Dan turns to look at him, smiles, with eyes crinkled at the edges.

'I think I am going to go have a shower, I'm as worn out as this one'.

He backs out of the room, still smiling, nearly trips over Taco who has snuck in and angled his stocky body in the most awkward position at the doorway.

Ant smiles back, enough that his own face feels like it might stretch apart, even long after Daniel has left the room. Rosalia barely eats any of her dinner, which leads to the deduction that the spit up stain might actually have been ice cream.

Rosalia is a comforting weight in his arms as he carries her back to their room. Starting to drift off to sleep, the ambient sounds of Daniel singing in the shower even through the closed bathroom door are somehow a lullaby to her. Ant's missed her so much, even in this half a day they have been apart. She looks so innocent in her cot, even though her poor ears have probably heard a thousand German swearwords today.

He wants to sing to her, lullabies that his mother sung to him, that her mother sung to her, words passed through generations. Instead, he listens to Daniel off-key warbling. Somehow no words he could sing to an already asleep Rosalia are going to pass on as much comfort as Dan singing.

'Toni, did you eat?',

The comment is enough to pull Ant from staring, looking up at Dan in the doorway, just with a towel wrapped around his waist and what appears to be a face mask on. Ant all of a sudden is not quite sure where to look, if he is allowed to look at all.

'There's chicken made up in the fridge',

To which Dan honest to god whoops.

'Yo Daniel, nice singing by the way'

Ant cannot tell if it’s the weird orange glow of the face mask or if there’s a genuine blush underneath.

He changes into his pyjama's, folds his clothes up before remembering the laundry bin that had appeared a day after he said he would stay longer.

Heads into the en-suite, looks at himself in the mirror, tan not as strong as it would be had he spent the summer in Portugal. The cross sat in between his chest, the worries about when and if Rosalia should be christened. The lines that crease his face, unable to tell anymore which are cause by laughter, caused by tiredness or just by aging.

Still, he look's good though, he knows that for sure. Brushes his teeth, hums a song that sounds familiar. Nearly gags when he realises it's the same one Daniel's been singing.

Early evening is not bedtime really, but Ant at this point, will take sleep where he can get it. If that means tucking in at seven pm, then so be it. Dan's sat on his bed when Ant gets back, dressed in an oversized shirt and boxers. Eating the chicken with some salad out of a bowl.

'If you spill any on my bed, I will kill you'

'So it’s your bed now Toni, thought you didn't even want to be here.’ Dan pauses, throws out a laugh to match the fake pout.

‘Anyway, I wanted to show you all the pictures we took today'

'You vlogged didn't you?'

Ant puts his head in his hands, doesn’t clock the way Dan's eyes trace the action, and most notably Ant's stomach.

'We may have vlogged, but we won't put it out unless you say, Jens still has to edit it we will cover her face if you want. Jens took really good pictures otherwise.'

Dan sounds like he's pleading, but Ant crawls into the bed, watches as Dan finishes his salad, put the bowl on the bedside table and come to sit next to Ant.

Rosalia must be super tired out, because she does not stir at all, not even when Daniel's retelling of the way she squealed at the lions reaches full crescendo of noise.

Nice, Ant thinks, that even though she is too young to ever remember this, Daniel will have all these memories logged. A home tape for the modern age. That’s probably what gets him to agree.

'Yes, you can do the vlog, I get final say on the edit'

Dan sleeps in Ant's bed that night, Ant beats him to soothing Rosalia's late night crying.

Doesn't say anything at all about the fact that when he gets back into the bed after soothing Rosalia, Dan snuggles up even closer.

Doesn't really have a chance, not with the fact that the bed is empty when he wakes up properly.

The pillows are still warm though, Rosalia still in her cot.

There's clanging in the kitchen. Muffled conversation in German. Part of Ant wants to soak up what is left of the warmth, ignore the chill from where Dan’s covers are still at the bottom of the bed.  Curling over into the side that Dan had slept on, just to chase the comfort. A lot of him want's to head downstairs and actually see the other man. Not even to discuss the fact they shared a bed last night, but just to see him. Rosalia stays quiet while he is changing her, legs kicking around but distracted playing with the soft bear Dan had gifted her, gently nibbling on its plush fur.

They make it downstairs to Daniel half covered in flour, on Face Time with his mother. There are pancakes on the stove.

'You trying to make me breakfast in bed?' Ant laughs, it's a humour he's allowed, the sort of joke he'd make even outside of this situation. Dan splutters, knocks his phone over on the counter. Ant understands the 'Nein' and the 'Sorry Mama' as Dan picks up his phone.

Comes over, with his Niece in his arms, just like he did when Marina called. Let’s a new person coo over Rosalia, while Dan finishes up the pancakes.

It's nice, domestic even. Just two bro's chilling in Kempten, cooking pancakes maybe to eat in bed together, because they are most assuredly, not gay. Dan takes the phone from his hand; hip checks him towards the table. Listens to Dan say goodbye to his mother, set's Rosalia down in her chair, plates up some pancakes for himself and sets to work cutting up one into small pieces for Rosalia to try.

'Yo, for the record, I was not making you breakfast in bed',

Dan laughs as he sits down. He's still in the same clothes he wore to bed last night, there's flour on his face. Ant is very fond of the whole scene. He wonders if this is the way André felt when he saw Jev holding Rosalia.

'Sure, Sure, and you normally get up before seven am. Make pancakes, face time your mother for help in making pancakes?'

'I know how to make pancakes Toni'

They are good pancakes; Ant will admit to that. It's all casual banter back and forth, Dan insisting he did not cook them breakfast in bed, even though they both know Ant has spotted the tray on the counter, with two mugs unused placed atop. They finish up, start to clean up when Dan mentions it.

'I have to go into the simulator this week, Allan wants us to start picking up training again. So, less office time more car time, do you need to think about heading back for the simulator?'

It flips Ant's stomach over; he had known it was coming but he's not ready to leave this space he's carved out here. When had the summer even flown by like this.

He’s halfway through loading a plate into the dishwasher, it feels fragile in his hand. Clatters all echoey into the machine as he puts it in.

Dan seems to sense the way he has touched upon something. Everyone writes Daniel off as self-absorbed, but he's perceptive, oh so smart.

'Sorry, scheiße it's late',

Ant's impressed Dan hasn't broken the mug in his hand with the way he's flailing his arms around all of a sudden.

'I gotta head to the office today, you can come if you want?'

'Rosalia's probably had enough excitement from yesterday. Thanks though'

Dan disappears out of the kitchen, Ant's just about fully cleaned, holding Rosalia and making to head up to his room when Dan comes back in. Wearing what Ant presumes is another expensive shirt combined with artfully ripped jeans. When he comes over to them Ant pretends not to notice how nice his cologne is.

'Bye-bye Sonnenschein, take care of your uncle for me',

Dan hands her the bear from her cot. Kisses her on the forehead, then kisses Ant on the forehead. Dan’s probably not even aware of it, Ant thinks, walking away with a soft ciao ciao. But he is left standing in the kitchen shocked.

Rosalia spends the whole day vocalising nonsensical words that sound a lot like 'Dabt Dabt'. He should call the team, ask for the plans. Work out childcare. Find out where Pedro is, call his own mother. And not freak out, about the way Dan's stubble felt on grazing his forehead. Easier said than done.

Wastes a day, watching Rosalia crawl around on her mat, taking her out in the pushchair for an afternoon stroll. Let's the dogs stretch their legs. Let’s the air clean his mind. Tries his hardest to not text Dan the video's he's taken of Rosalia saying 'Dabt Dabt'. Or 'I miss you; I wish this could last longer'

Time passes him by, barely even notices the front door open and Dan come in, too busy doing some neck training while Rosalia is distracted on her play mat.

Ant can't really manage a reply to Dan's cheery greeting, breathing too hard for anything but a garbled 'Hey'. Dan's holding something behind his back though, which is enough that when Ant finishes his reps he doesn't move on to the next set.

Watching Dan move over to Rosalia. She garbles some words at him, of course Daniel has to chatter back.

'Hey little one, look what Daddy Abt has brought you'

Ant doesn’t miss the challenge in the younger man’s eyes as he say's Daddy Abt.

'Been waiting all week for this to arrive'

It's a child sized #allthewayabt cap, Dan has it on Rosalia's head before Ant's even had time to protest.

She looks adorable. That’s the worst part.

It's too big for her, Dan immediately has to angle it, so it doesn't cover her eyes. Rosalia seems delighted by it. 'Dabt Dabt' she lets out, as she whacks a hand on the hat to try and play around with it.

'Did she say my name?

Ant sort of feels like he's crushing Dan's hopes with his reply.

'It’s just gibberish bro, she's too young to speak real words'

Dan shrugs, picks up Rosalia in both hands, she seems ecstatic. All garbled words, big gummy smile.

'Sonnenschein look at you, you’re getting so big, one day that caps going to fit you'

'Dani, we should organise things'

Dan clutches Rosalia tight to his chest, the hat falls off her head and to the floor with the action. Ant misses when he didn't have to be some sort of grown up in these situations. That know he has to insinuate conversations that he doesn't want to have.

Moves down to the floor, still in his gym gear, dabs the sweat from his head and picks up the fallen hat. Places it back on Rosalia's head. So close to Daniel, he can feel the other man's breath on his shoulder, Rosalia is smiling again.

He swings his arms around Daniel on instinct more than thinking about it. Jumps apart approximately three seconds later.

'Merda, me desculpe'

Dan looks at him, with his best puppy dog eyes. 'Toni', reels him back into a hug with one arm.

'Do you think she will fit on Glock's back?', Daniel murmurs, practically into Ant's hairline.

That's how they spend the early evening discussing the week ahead, with Rosalia being held gently by Dan on Glock's back as the dog slowly paces around the room.

This way every time Dan stops crawling around holding on to Rosalia to stand up, Ant can see the way the carpet burn has rubbed his knees red raw through the artful rips in his jeans. Glock gets bored eventually, fed up of having to be a show pony, or perhaps the weight of Rosalia on his back.

They order Italian, eat it out of the containers. Put Rosalia to bed, play Call of Duty over the sound of the Baby Monitor.

Ant heads to bed first. Leans against the door to tell Dan good night.

Say's nothing when not ten minutes after settling into the covers, Dan opens the door and crawls into bed next to him.

That's when Ant's phone starts ringing out loud, buzzing itself nearly off the bedside counter.

It's the ringtone he has saved for his brother.

Rosalia starts crying, he reaches out for the phone, wonders if she knows that it’s her father. Wonders if she comprehends anything about this situation at all. He feels more than see's Daniel get out of the bed to calm Rosalia.

'Pedro are you okay',

Nice to slip back into his native tongue after so much English. A safety net if he slips up and admits things, at least in Portuguese Dan won’t understand.

'I think I’m ready now irmão, are you still in Germany, I’m in Austria right now'

Ant can't help but laugh, seems right for his brother to end up road tripping his way around Europe.

Dan looks wide eyed over at Ant, probably confused by the way Ant went from panicked Portuguese to laughing. Rosalia has hushed back to sleep, laid back down in the cot.

'I can be there tomorrow?'

Ant agrees, they chat for a few minutes before Ant rings off.

'All good?' Dan sits on the edge of the bed.

'Pedro's in Austria, he's going to pick up Rosalia tomorrow'

Dan doesn't say anything.

Flops back onto the bed, sits back up and pulls Ant down with him.

It takes Ant a long time to sink into sleep. Dan drifts off easily. Ant think's he hears the German whisper 'Du siehst gut in meinem Shirt aus'

Looks down at his chest, sees the #allthewayabt stitched in. Hadn't even noticed he'd thrown it on after his quick shower. There's the sound of Dan's soft snores, the feel of his arm haphazardly thrown over Ant, heavy in sleep.

Selfishly Ant want's Rosalia to wake up, to disturb their sleep, interrupt the peace. Just so he and Daniel can spend this little extra bit of time with her. He wakes up in the morning, practically tangled up in Dan, Rosalia hasn't awoken at all. Slept peacefully, content.

Dan's arm is warm on his chest, the flip of his hair tickling where it flops against Ant’s skin. It would be the nicest lie in, if it weren’t for the fact that he will lose this all by the end of the day. Rosalia will be back with Pedro, Ant will probably drive back down with them to Portugal.

He'll see Daniel again, at the track and drivers briefing, at afterparties and the like. But never in this environment again. No more seeing him cooking badly or doing 24k gold face masks. No being interrupted to be in Daniel's constant social media life, smiling for the way Dan wraps an arm around, German that he doesn't understand save for 'Bro, Antonio'. No more holding Rosalia on top of the toy Audi with Dan filming them so Ant can post it on Instagram.

Dan shuffles, comes into the one ray of morning light through the crack in the blinds, he's basically half curled up on Ant's chest at this point. They'll go back to just being bros, no memory, or traces of these past two months on anything but social media. Doomed to be forgotten by the churning out of new content and the algorithms that will swallow the past whole.

Antonio watches the light dance across Dan's arms and wonders when he became a romantic, and how much this is going to hurt him. Realises the #allthewayabt shirt he is wearing isn't the one Daniel gifted him, but one of Daniel's own.

That's the gut punch to it all, stomach flipping. Can't even freak out because Daniel is a heavy weight on him.

He can tell, when the other man finally wakes up, by the way his breathing changes. Dan looks up, blurry eyed and skin crinkled from the shirt under his head.

A simple good morning has never hurt so much. That ache of missed connections that he's so familiar with from years of heartbreak of people not ready to commit to his lifestyle.

Dan smiles, breathes out that good morning, Ant gets the stale air of morning breath over him. The innocent simple three syllables that destroys this little ideal he has built up.

'When did they sneak in?',

Dan questions, just as Ant spots them, well rather nudges it. Taco has made his way onto the bed, curled up at the end in the gap where Dan and Ant's feet are not. Glock has obviously followed his way in, sat resplendently in sunbeams like a guard dog over Rosalia's cot.

Ant is choked up; only Taco snores break the silence. Enough to set Dan off into laughter at Taco's snores, but its white noise to the one though that's consuming Ant's mind.

That this is what family is.

Dan gently moves his foot, rubbing it against Ant's ankle, probably on accident. Just a drag of leg hair tangling. As his foot moves it nudges Taco, who snuffles out of his sleep, looks up at them with the grumpiest face.

'Nice to see Taco has copied your face Dani'

Dan pulls the exact same face as Taco does.

Ant find's the anger has dissipated. Just for a minute he has this. Something he hasn't allowed himself to want in a long time.

'Daniel, are you hugging me'

Dan is still pouting his Taco impression, turns slightly crimson.

'No homo?',

It’s an odd sentence, normally because Dan in spite of appearances would never actually say ‘no homo’ Has to keep himself going though, so he doesn’t get caught up on the little things.

'Come on Querido, let’s get Rosalia up and us looking sharp. I'm thinking we put her in that dress? With the Abt hat'

Ant watches Dan's eyes glow up, the fashion plan formulating in his head.

'She's gonna look so good for her Papa, aren’t you Sonnenschein'

He's not even talking to Rosalia, it’s practically whispered into Antonio's chest.

Ant looks over, Dan's hair tickling his nose.

Rosalia is still sound asleep in her cot.

He allows himself this one thing, plants a kiss on Daniel's forehead. Tries to fill it with things he will never say out loud, a tender brush of lips against soft skin. Wraps his arms a little tighter before shrugging the other man off.

Ignores the way Dan stretches out in the warm spot he has just vacated. Pulls his shirt off and pretends to overlook the way Dan's eyes trail his body. So, what if when he walks to the bathroom, he shakes his ass a little bit more. Just to chase the feeling of being wanted.

There all midway through breakfast when the apartment bell buzzes. They both jump at the sound. Dan buzzes Pedro up.

Rosalia has already made a mess of her bib, lucky that none of her breakfast has seeped through to her dress.

Dan scoops Rosalia up, Ant ignores the feeling of finality in his stomach.

They answer the door together, all three of them.

Pedro looks good, healthy. There is no hollowness in his cheeks or haunted look under his eyes like those few months ago. Ant is surprised that his brother pulls him into a hug first, Dan swoops Rosalia around to face her father. Hears the awe in Pedro's voice when he says 'Rosalia'.

She is the most beautiful thing after all, grown so much in just two months. Pedro pulls Dan and therefore Rosalia into the hug too, murmuring thank you under his breath over and over again.

The four of them are barely in the apartment, just creeping over the door frame. A most precarious of reunions.

And sure, he has a championship, knows what the ultimate glory feels like. But this is an untouchable moment, pales in comparison to anything else in a different way. The bit where you run onto the podium, accept the cheering of the crowds. Tasting the champagne here is seeing the way Pedro looks at Rosalia. Or the way Dan's looking at him with the biggest smile Ant thinks he has ever seen.

'We did it', Daniel mouths.

Ant can only smile back. Until his cheeks start to hurt.

Eventually, they make it inside the house. Sat down in the main room, with the crate of toys on the floor, Rosalia's baby mat and jumper. Taco seems excited to see a familiar face. Glock even welcomes with a hearty bark, paces around the room with a fresh sense of purpose.

Dan at some point had handed Rosalia over to her father, now Pedro looks like he might never let go. Murmuring sweet words to his daughter, it’s a lovely sight, Dan has snapped a few photos and sent them over already.

Ant posts one to Instagram.

'Reunited' he captions it. Put's his phone on airplane mode and enjoys everything.

Daniel's phone rings at some point. The German leaves the room apologising for the 'business call'.

Pedro swaps to Portuguese without a second thought.

'You look good together Toni, did you tell him?'

Rosalia has decided to vocalise very loudly all of a sudden, practically wailing.

'Is your uncle an idiot Rosalia, is he an idiot?',

She gargles as a response. Ant wants to bury his face in his hands. Wonders how to explain to his brother 'I am so glad you found yourself on your road trip, thank you for letting me in and trusting me to care for your daughter. It has been really nice to co-parent her with my co-worker.'

Instead he just looks at his brother. Shrugs. And Admits.

'You know me too well, of course I’m an idiot. Of course, I didn't tell him.'

The three of them end up kicking a ball around the apartments shared garden. Rosalia sat on her bouncy chair, Abt hat blocking the sun from burning her skin. Dan had suggested it as just something to do, not to waste the good summer day trapped indoors catching up.

Dan was right, it's a good way to catch up, kicking a ball back and forth to one another. Showing of rusty trick skills. Pedro trying to launch into apologies, catching sight of his daughter, happy babbling away to herself. That always cut's his apologies off.

'You guys did well', he says, and Ant knows his brother means it.

 'At the football or at keeping us alive while Rosalia walked all over us?' Daniel responds.

'Shocked to see neither of you burnt the house down'.

'Rosalia is the only thing keeping us together isn't she Ant'

Ant takes the well-deserved football to the head with grace when he gets distracted trying to come up with an answer. Floundering at the way Pedro and Daniel seem to be getting on, ganging up on him.

Pedro takes Rosalia back up for her afternoon nap.

It's only when Ant takes another kick to the head does, he realise his mistake, that Rosalia's cot is in the guest room, next to the bed, the unmade bed, that has evidence of two people sharing it. Clothes that are distinctly not Ant's folded over the bottom of the bed. The blush is firm on his face already, Dan seems to realise at about the same time, has that cheeky smile that Ant is so fond of plastered across his face. Same ruddy red blush creeping up his cheeks. Pedro comes down to them looking very guilty, kicking the football around with very stilted chatter.

It must make a funny sight, Pedro knows Ant hasn't made a move, Dan's throwing Ant what he can only presume are signs of want. But yet. Neither of them have made the oh so crucial move, the slip up the inside or however the commentators would call it.  

Taco decides to get right in Ant's way, trip him over and then lick aggressively at his face.

'You alright with staying the night Pedro? Must be too late to start the drive now?’ Ant hears Dan ask, distracted by the view of the sky from the ground. Mulling over how he has become very fond of the sky above Kempten. Landscape so familiar, already.

It isn't home, too far away from the sea.

'You can take the guest room'.

Ant watches a cloud drift by, can predict his brothers reply.

'And you and Toni will share your room then?',

Pedro laughs.

Dan laughs too,

'He can share with Taco and Glock, stay though Pedro, it would be nice. And I heard you can cook, unlike your brother'

'What have you guys been surviving on'

Ant looks up from the ground just to see Dan sheepishly admit he burnt pasta. Twice.

Pedro’s laugh send’s Taco and Glock scampering, a proper laugh pulled out of him, deep and joyful.

Ant knows that he and Dan have been working well as a unit, and it's strange to have an intrusion that isn't just Jens cropping up. Perhaps, because Pedro is family himself. With Pedro here, at least they are getting fed well. That’s a highlight. And a slight shock to the system.

He'd snuck into the guest room, after dinner, Pedro seemed to get on well enough with Daniel that Ant's not terrified to leave them alone together, save for the embarrassing stories that might be shared.

He has no clue where Dan keeps spare sheets, so just makes the bed, and hopes Pedro won't mind. Thinks for half a second about going into Dan's room, taking the sheets from Dan's bed, cold and unslept in. But he has yet to cross the border into the German's bedroom, it’s the only room in the house he's never seen inside.

A line he doesn't dare cross. Glock has followed him into the guest room, looking up with indifference at the room, hops up onto the bed and curls down into the sheets. He will share the bed with Pedro tonight, they will top and tail. Like they did when they were kids.

He comes back in, to Rosalia sound asleep on Daniel's chest, she's sleeping peacefully, thumb in her mouth. Dan looks like he might be half asleep already. Making responsive sounds at Pedro's murmurings.

'Dani, hey Dani, go put Rosalia down', Ant nudges the German with his foot. Dan hums, grumbles something unintelligible. But he does get up and wander with Rosalia down the hallway. Moving her up and down in his arms. He's left his phone on the sofa, it's lit up from a message, he doesn't understand the words, but he understands his own name on the screen. Tucked in between German that is too complicated for him to understand.

When Dan makes it down, he's distracted by his phone almost immediately. frantically texting away. The most he's used the device all day.

There’s some film left playing on the TV, mostly ignored by the three of them. It looks to be some cheesy rom com that he’s sure a girl he had dated years ago had forced him to watch. Vaguely Ant remembers the plot, the memory of Pedro walking in on him curled into his girlfriend as they’d watched the film. Catches Pedro’s eye across Dan’s stupid ginormous couch. Knows what his brother is going to say. About how much Ant love’s rom coms.

‘Hey Ant, funny how these people have feelings for each other for years and years. How it takes them odd situations to fall in love with each other. Isn’t that funny, irmão?’

Dan doesn’t seem to notice the daggers that Ant is staring at Pedro. Too engrossed in his phone, that is until Ant chucks a pillow at his brother. That’s enough to get Dan to look up. For Ant to get hit by the pillow in return, too distracted smiling at Dan smiling at him.

Maybe Pedro has a point.

None of them make it much longer, it hits about nine pm, there's some unspoken agreement, to get up and head for bed.

A shuffle in and out of bathrooms, trying not to disturb Rosalia.

Ant tries not to notice the way Dan is lingering around him. He is the shortest of the three of them, but Daniel over his shoulder is making him feel even tinier.

Pedro seems bemused when Ant appears in the doorway to the guest room.

'Toni, idiot'

They hug for a long time. Probably the longest since they were kids.

'I love you'

Pedro kisses his forehead,

'Thank you, for everything'

Pushes Ant towards the door. Out into the hallway.

Ant stands in front of Daniel's door; it's been left slightly ajar. This is the clearest line he will ever cross. The most physical marker of his feelings for the other man.  

It opens easily, Ant doesn’t know why he thought anything else. Like it would weigh so much that even if he pushed it with all his might it would not open.

Dan's room is exactly how he had imagined it, halfway between a teenage boy’s trophy cabinet and the style he’s come to associate so well with the characteristics of Daniel Abt.  

All obviously stylised around Dan's bed, evident which furniture is the centre piece. Or perhaps, it is just the centre piece to Ant, because it’s what he is immediately drawn too past his cursory glance around. Daniel's sat up propped up against the headboard, illuminated by a strip of LED lights and the soft orange glow that they emit. Curled into dark grey sheets, shirtless. He has another face mask on, clearly killing the time while the skin care works it's magic.

Ant has no idea what to say, clearly neither does Dan.

It's this moment, on a precipice of wanting. Another physical line drawn down on the floor. Ant creeps over it with delicate feet. Like he's climbing into his car to defend his title. For a second, he thinks about closing the door. Shutting everything else out. Instead, he pulls it so it’s just slightly ajar.

He knows Dan's eyes are on him, as he navigates round the bed and to the empty side. As he folds the sheets over to slide in underneath.

'Couldn't sleep without me huh',

Dan's voice is lower than normal.

'Pedro's a kicker, plus thought he should get used to Rosalia's late night adventures'

'Cool, cool',

Dan puts his phone down, the video he was watching paused.

'I'll go uh take this off'

They are never normally this stilted with one another.

Ant rolls into the space that Dan has left bare. It's obviously still warm, he probably looks like an idiot inhaling the scent of Dan all around him. Settles on spreading out half on his own side and half of the space that is Daniel’s side.

Dan just slides into the space next to him, without even bothering to make a comment about the way Ant is sprawled in the middle of the bed. Shoves Ant up a little, fluffs his pillow down, then suddenly Ant's looking Dan direct in the eyes.

'I think we did a really good job you know Toni, Rosalia didn't kill us and we didn't hurt her, we make a good team me and you.'

'Audi and Techeetah, the partnership formula E didn't know it needed'

There's an unspoken something about it in the air. Ant hates to joke about teammates, considering Dan seems to have settled as the perfect foil to Lucas. He'd feel bad for suggesting it for real. A part of him so desperate for Daniel to get a chance to shine properly, not just as 'Abt', not just as a teammate for champions.

Not that Jev is any ordinary teammate for Ant to sniff his nose down at though. Either way, he thinks, him and Daniel work best as teammates in this space. The one in which they care for children and for themselves and there is no racing involved.

'Is that what you think then, of us. A partnership?'

Dan questions, with those soft eyes that Ant is oh so fond off. He's worried for a second, that the serious look on Daniels face means that he may have in fact fallen into some kind of linguistic trap. One that's left him pray for Dan's sharp, clever business mind. The Dan smiles and Ant knows he is just being played with.

Yet he still doesn't know what it really all means. Why he's lying in Daniel's bed. Playing back that they should go into business together, they'd make great professional babysitters.

Inevitably, they fall asleep. Jolted awake a few hours later by Rosalia's crying. Dan is up and confused, looking around the bedroom like a meerkat for Rosalia while Ant tries to untangle from the bedsheets.

Eventually, after a few bleary moments, they both realise that she's not in here, is in fact safe in with her father in the guest room. Pedro singing soft lullabies drifts through the door. At some point, Taco has come to join them, slumped down, next to them in the bed.

When Ant wakes up again, it’s from the jolt of Taco jumping off the mattress.  

He's wrapped up in Dan's arms, for once the taller man has won the cuddling rights.

They've been pretty courteous, or Ant thinks he has at least, to not let early morning hard on’s rub against each other, more probably because they were both aware somewhere in the subconscious that there’s a baby sleeping in the room.

But also, that they aren't actually together or anything. Which is why Dan hugging Ant too tight, and moving his hips ever so incrementally, allowing for his groin to rub against Ant's groin is somewhat confusing.

Dan's obviously asleep, He feels like he’s breaking some sort of bro code by not moving away from Dan's touch. Though he's unsure what's left of the bro code considering they have been sharing the same bed for the best part of two weeks. Instead he elects to move his groin away from Daniel's groin, maybe roll out of bed, probably go jerk off into the toilet like he has done for the best part of the past few months.

Instead, all his turning to sneak away from Dan's grasp leads Dan to waking up. Opening one eye, then the other. Staring at Ant, sleep mussed and bleary. Pulling Ant back into his space.

'Your warm',

Ant feels Dan's words against his collarbones, the slight dribble that comes with it. He still feels the press of his bed-mate’s hardness, the lose roll of his hips that accompanies this. He think's Dan say's thank you, but it’s so low and mumbled. Not even sure why exactly the other man is thanking him.

'You humping me for a reason Abt?'

'Scheiße' Dan replies, there's a beat, 'Doing my best Taco impression'

'Oh really? want me to film that and put it on Instagram?'

'Stories or main feed, what's my worth to you Toni'

'Proper post and everything, all the works for you Dani'

Ant realises he's just offered to basically post Dan jerking off on his Instagram, and Dan seems to have realised the same thing at the exact same time. The gentle thrusting has stopped, instead replaced by the vibration of a full body laugh.

'Sorry' Dan say's, sincerely. Ant plays it off as cool, just a normal morning thing.

They roll out of bed, Dan mentioning he wants to spend some final treasured hours with Rosalia.

'She's not, we're not disappearing from your life Dani',

Ant pretended it doesn’t hurt when Dan disappears into the en-suite, his words ringing with finality.

'It feels like it though'

Pedro shouldn't really be helping Ant pack up everything into the BMW, none of this is really his, but Dan seems upset every time someone tries to take Rosalia away from him. Jens had even turned up for an hour or so, with a big cardboard box Ant knows will be full of more branded t-shirts for Rosalia.

He watched fondly as the two German's coo at his niece. How he could hear Marina's voice through Face Time at one point. Jens had left, with a brief 'Hi, nice to meet you' handshake greeting at Pedro, and another bear hug at Ant. Pedro and Jens both give him and Daniel the same look Ant notices. Not sure if it's 'Pull your shit together you idiots' or 'Well, good to see the end of this'

Eventually, there all packed into the car. It's pushing Midday, Ant does one final scan of the apartment for any of his stuff, and then steps out into living room where everyone is gathered.

Dan is holding onto Rosalia like she's a lifeline.

The box Jens had brought is on the sofa.

'This is for you guys'

Ant sort of hopes it's more t-shirts, the car is looking pretty full and the fabric will be easy to fold up into spaces. He and Pedro are pretty tired out from all the trips up and down to the car lot. Smiles, and opens the box.

Thing is, Antonio had known in the back of his mind, that Dan had been taking a lot of photos, but they were the things that were reposted onto Instagram.

Seeing a frame, full to almost bursting with memories in just the short months he and Rosalia have resided in Germany. Chokes him up.

'Look underneath', Dan say's, still holding Rosalia, bouncing her slowly in his arms.

Ant lifts the frame up, there's another one, nearly identical.

'One for her, and one for you, from Uncle Dabt Dabt'

'You can't be her Uncle' Ant say's, through the tears threatening to spill 'I'm her uncle'

There beautiful, messy collages, paint splatters on some photos 'Rosalia helped with some of it', and then Ant notices the difference between the photos. Not in the images, but in handwritten golden Sharpie note in the top left of each. He has no idea when they had even found the time to do this. When hasn’t he been around?

'Sonnenschein, thank you for your big smiles and for not judging my rapping. hope to feature you one day, Abt ft Rosalia sounds good. Excited to watch you bloom, love your uncle Dabt Dabt' Dan's signed it, half on the note and half onto a picture of Rosalia in her #allthewayabt hat. On the other frame he finds a message for himself.

'Antonio, thanks for bringing Rosalia to see me, hope I was a good uncle for a while. See you on the track Champion. Your teammate, Dan',

There’s a patch of tape underneath, that's not on Rosalia's. Half obscuring some words.

He barely remembers leaving the apartment, just slotting the picture frames into the boot. Even though he closes the boot gently he still hears a smash, winces a little at the sound. No one else seems to hear it though. Not the way it echoes through the car lot.

It’s one of the hardest goodbyes he goes through. Which is foolish, they will see each other again. They must make an odd picture, this most mismatched family loaded into a BMW embracing for too long in the parking lot. He kisses Dan on the cheeks, one each side, ignores the way stubble feels under his lips. Just holds the embrace for a little too long.

Ant doesn’t look back physically when they pull out of the parking space, having to concentrate on driving. But he gets a glimpse of Daniel in the rear-view mirror as they pull away. Everything that they’ve done, every smile Dan has reserved for him and he reserved for Dan in return runs through his mind. In a way, Ant thinks, he does look back. Mentally more than physically. Daniel’s Apartment complex is long behind them though.

The smash of the picture frames at the back of his mind.

That is until they make it to the first planned stop on their long journey back to Portugal. Ant opens the boot to grab some stuff and the top frame slides out slowly. It appears to be the one Dan had gifted him, halfway through cleaning up the glass curiosity gets the better of him. Peeling the tape that had so perplexed him earlier, pulling it back slowly and carefully.

Written in the same sharpie as the rest of the words on the photo, are the words.

'This has been the best few weeks of my life I’ve ever had; no win matches up to this. Thank you, Toni.'

Scribbled out underneath, just in biro, still legible. Daniel has written,

'eu te amo'

And Ant stands in a rest stop, on the border to Switzerland. Realising he has left his heart behind in Kempten.

It feels like it takes forever for Dan to answer his Face Time call, enough time for him to search for something.

'Toni, you okay? You forget something?'

'Did you google translate how to say 'I love you''

Dan splutters, turning red almost immediately. His hand comes up to semi hide his face.

'Ich liebe dich, du idiot'

His German's poor, no doubt about it, almost a mockery of the accent.

Eventually, he has to ring off. Sends his location to Dan, and heads to Pedro, who's been watching him for a while.

'Realised you where an idiot?'

It's a brotherly slap he gives Pedro, hopes Rosalia doesn't pick up on it. They shouldn't be encouraging violence in front of such a little one.

It's a hard goodbye to Rosalia, other people must think they are crazy as Antonio cries at the sight of BMW pulling out of the car park, waving frantically. A mirror of an action Daniel had done to them only a few hours before.

He sits for about an hour until an Audi pulls into the car park, familiar number plates, familiar driver. Slides into the passenger seat.

And if other families think he's crazy for crying while a car drives away, then they must think he's insane for getting into the passenger side of a sports Audi with a stupid paint scheme before leaning over the gear stick to passionately kiss the driver of said Audi. Dan, in his defence, kisses back as passionately.

It's not the most glamourous place he's ever kissed someone, had sort of envisioned there first kiss to be somewhere romantic. Not even sure really were he would have wanted it. Maybe spooned in bed together, having finally stopped being cowards. But that line of thought is just proof that here over the gear stick is the best place for Ant to have his hands firmly planted on Dan's face, tongues skipping tentative searching to go in for full exploration.

They come to their senses pretty quickly, break apart sort of awkwardly, pretty gross really, the trail of spit from their mouths connection that falls onto the gear stick. There’s that second, when both of them just look at each other, the gravity of the insanity of their situation falling upon them.

Ant's just left his brother and niece to drive his car back to Portugal. While he drives back to Kempten, to be with a guy he's spent two months dancing around. That before has only ever been the guy he bumps shoulders with at post-race parties or on CoD.

Nice then, that they can both burst into laughter. Dan leans in for another touch of the lips, and its more tentative than the immediate making out that had happened at first. When he pulls away, he presses his forehead to Ant, in a mirror of the way Ant's pressed kisses to Dan's hairline.

They hold hands over the gearstick the entire way back to the apartment. With the music loud, and the windows down even though it’s a balmy day. Ant misses the sea so much, but there’s a longing in him, that they could maybe follow Pedro back to Portugal. Show Dan his home. He wants that so bad. Instead, he asks Dan what this playlist is, gets an awkward laugh that seems so out of place in the Germans normal reel of open and deep laughter.

'It's a playlist I made for you'

Ant picks up the iPhone from the car well, holds it up so Dan can look over and open the face lock. And there is on Spotify, a playlist currently playing called, ATTWAntVibes. He scrolls through it, approving of all the songs on the playlist. it's a mix of songs he knows have been posted on his own Instagram, stuff he recognises from old GTA's that they used to play together and some stuff that is so clearly Dan's choices, tailored for this vibe. It's sort of honouring really that Dan's curated this just for him. Also, that they can have a very dumb 'rap off' going down the AutoBahn.

By the time they make it back to the apartment complex, Ant's hand sweaty from the way it's been resting on Dan's the whole journey. They are back to that stilted air between them. Suddenly nervous.

Dan has barely killed the engine before he's kicking it back into life again. Reversing out of the parking space and back onto the roads.

Ant's hand finds its way back to Dan's on the gearstick, unlocks Dan's phone again with the same method as before. Back to bopping their heads in tandem to the playlist.

They don't take long to reach the destination. Doesn't take Ant too long to realise where they are going either, they did the groceries enough, but as Dan pulls into the car park of the Rewe, he realises this is the first time they are doing this without Rosalia. Without being stopped every five minutes by someone cooing over how cute Rosalia looks, or at least that's what Ant presumes they are doing, with the hasty translations a very red-faced Daniel had always given him.

Now it’s just them, and the cold refrigerated air of Rewe's, pushing a trolley. together.

He already misses Rosalia, but it's also nice to finally not be so child focused.

Especially when they make it to the beer aisle.

It's probably not the best of Germany's beer options. But Dan indicates he has free reign. They banter back and forth with each other as Ant choses out different beers. It feels like when he was a kid, able to drink just occasionally, unable to create a full palate like his school mates were doing. instead trying anything in moderation. Driving already such a big part of his life.

Dan eventually choses for him, probably because they seem to be pissing of a man at the end of the aisle whose throwing them dirty glances every time they speak.

Eventually they also succumb to the need to get normal groceries, it's nice when Dan takes his hand sort of tentatively as they walk through the pasta aisle. When he only let’s go to pick items up of the shelf that Ant can't reach. Or when they make it to the checkout and breeze through payment.

Loading the bags up into the car, Dan only slightly regretting that they've brought the sports Audi. Chatting about the impracticality of sports cars for everyday activities.

By the time they are back in the apartment complex proper, it feels nicer, safer ground. Unpacking groceries with the unspoken between them less perilous. When Dan finally pushes Ant against the closed fridge, kissing him properly. Ant finds doesn't mind the way the fridge handle digs awkwardly into his back. So far, it's been Ant leading the kisses, leaning up into Daniel. The height difference between them is nice. Still so used to most of the time being the smaller on in relationships anyways. Normally though the height gap is less noticeable. Probably because Ant's so used to staring up at people during conversations. instead of making out with them against fridges like teenagers at a party snuck away from the crowds.

Dan breaks the kiss apart again, chases it up with a few further pecks of lips. Grabs two beers from the table, heads out of the kitchen. Ant can't help but watch the cocky way Daniel walks, the sway of his hips. Almost exaggerated. He follows any way, with added pep to his stride.

Dan will be the first to admit his sofa is extravagant, too big for an apartment occupying one person. Meant as a decadent show off purchase, perfect to lounge on, perfect for when girls come over.

Dan is right now, sat right in the middle with an arm behind his head and the beer bottle raised to his lips, twisted up in a smirk. Ant think's he could make like lithe models that Dan must be used to, hop a leg over Dan's thighs and steal his beer bottle. If Dan would even like that.

Ant quickly realises what he wants is for there to be no falsehoods about this, not lies or pretending, he’s not one of these lithe models. Instead, he sits too close to Dan, drinks from his own bottle of beer. And they make out at a very odd angle. So, what if he slips to his knees when their bottles are empty, just to stop Dan from getting them another one. To not lose that warm presence at his side that Ant has grown oh so accustomed too.

That's the plus about Dan's sofa. Plenty of room to sleep on. Space so that neither of them have to sleep in the inevitable wet spot.

Poor Jens though, probably didn't deserve to walk in on them with half the pillows on the floor wrapped in each other and a thin blanket.

Ant appreciates being woken up by a sharp whistle and then Jens laughing his head off. Dan clearly does too if by the way he rockets upright, dislodging the blanket and giving Jens a great view of them.

"Bro, Ich bin der Küche" is what Ant's pretty sure Jens says, through the laughter.

It's only then does he notice the time, its nearly noon. Clearly that's the first night of good uninterrupted sleep they have both had in a while, coupled with the emotions of yesterday had knocked them out of it, so much so they happily slept on the sofa. He only notices the time, because Dan goes for his phone immediately, filled with unanswered messages. Ant laughs, rolls over so he's on top of Daniel and hopes Jens stays in the kitchen or he's going to see a lot of bare ass.

'Morning Dani'

He sort of says it into a stretch. Dan's a nice broad span under him, warm chest, that dark sprawl of a tattoo on top of hard lines of abs.

Kissing with morning breath is not particularly nice. But Ant allows it. Seems to be allowing a lot of things where Dan is involved.

'Missing anything important'

'Should have been in the office an hour ago, we were going to go through plans for a video.'

Ant considers it, every part of him just wants to stay on the sofa forever. Instead, he kisses Dan a few more times, enjoys the feel of a nice jawline under his hands. Then they get up and pull on yesterday's clothes.

Jens starts laughing again the moment they make it to the kitchen; he's at least made coffee.

'Idiots. The both of you. Took you long enough'

Dan bro fists his friend across the table, which makes Ant feel quite smug. That he was worthy of a bro fist.

'You know you’re wearing each other’s shirts', Jens sounds genuinely delighted with this fact.

Eventually Dan heads into the office, just as Ant is starting to grow fond of the red blush that covers Dans face anytime Jens hollers at them. Part of him wants to go into the office with the rest of them just to play banter with Dan about them finally getting together. But he knows he has to stay here. Call people and sort out plans.

It’s strange now, not the being in Dan's apartment, but being there without Rosalia. He'd sort of presumed that in eventually he wouldn't stay here for long. Once he's done explaining to Techeetah that he's in Germany, and reorganised things there. He call's Pedro. Just to check in.

Also, because even though it's been a day, he misses seeing Rosalia's face so much. Nice to hear Taco and Glock's barking. He's sort of thrown his brother straight back into the deep end, but that's being siblings really.

He can't stay in Germany much longer. That’s the kicker. The crux of it all.

Then Dan gets back, and they kiss politely at the door. Cook food and make small talk.

Suddenly Ant's afraid he's made a mistake. Yearns just to go surfing, just for him, the board, and the ocean. Just for a minute of clarity.

Dan's lips taste of the noodle sauce they had for dinner. His hands are wandering as he kisses.

Finally, there in a bed together as lovers and not just friends. And without the romantic high of the impulsive actions the day before, Ant finds himself terrified.

They've been friends for years. Shared so much together. It shouldn't be this easy.

He could have gone to Belgium, driving further. Spent time with Robin, introduced Robin's nephew to Rosalia so she would have someone roughly her age to play with instead of just Taco and Glock for entertainment. And Ant knows, he wouldn't have fallen for Robin. Histories and friendship too intwined.

Maybe he should have gone back to France, spent more time with André and Jev. With Rosalia well fed, seeing Horses all the time, and surrounded by love, good food, and which ever drivers seem to be wandering around the holiday home in various formations.

But there had been Daniel, sat on the tiny Audi in the parking lot. Looking so happy and optimistic. Sure, they have been friends for years, with no feelings like this between them, or at least on Ant's side. But they were Ant and Abt, the last two people you would find at a party, curled up in the corner conspiring after they've been banned from the karaoke machine.

Who's to blame Ant from falling in love now.

They've played domestic for so long. Launched into that before they had a chance to play as lovers. Maybe Ant should enjoy it for what it is. Instead of freaking out when Dan's hands wander lower.

Only Dan needs to see him beg, curl up as little spoon after it all.

The 'When do you need to go back to Portugal. I've moved some things; I can come with you' is for him and no one else.

Jev and André don't seem surprised when Dan turns up next to Ant, more heartbreak on Jev's part when there is no Rosalia, and Max seems to wander aimlessly without Taco and Glock as partners in crime. In turn though, Cheetah seems to love the reprieve.

They'd skipped Seb's, not because they had wanted to, but more because Ant had felt inappropriate to turn up with just Dan, like an intrusion. He gets a bunch of succulent clippings he orders online though sent to Seb's as a gift, a thank you. He orders the same box for himself. Giggling to himself at the thought that they will race the delivery home.

His house is the perfect climate for it really. Plans for a rock garden he could build sneaking into his head. How would Dan judge him if he asked 'oh can we plant these succulents together as a bonding activity and then I can maybe kiss you by the pool or in the pool then we can take really hot pictures of each other'.

Polite guests, that they go clean the expensive bedsheets and leave them out to dry before Jev and André wake up. Kissing between the linen in the early morning air. Not polite enough though to not get them dirty in the first place though.

Ant will see Jev in a week. So, it’s not too dramatic of a goodbye. just hugs and kisses on cheeks.

Then they are back on the road again. Ant even gets a turn to drive the Audi, which is nice. Bullying Dan slowly about the differences in the BMW and Audi drives.

They haven't really spoken about going public, but surely fans somewhere are jumping to conclusions. Have been this entire time really. It’s not like they have kept this covered up, instead letting it play out on social media. Much in the way Jev and André toy with ‘Jevandré’, but without the portmanteau.

By the time they make it back to Portugal. Ant's just excited to have Dan in his own space. On his own grounds. Thoughts about taking him surfing, buying a wetsuit in Dan's size are filling his mind as the landscape morphs into visuals he’s so familiar with. Thinking about Dan in a wetsuit gets him a little bit distracted. So, what if they have to pull over on some dirty back road because wandering hands are a distraction from driving. No one has to know but them.

For a second, when they pull into the driveway of his house and see Pedro holding Rosalia up, Ant's fears come streaming back. That Dan just wants him for access to Rosalia. The German’s face has absolutely lit up, he'd be lying if his face weren’t the same.

Then Dan pulls him into his arms on the driveway and plants a firm kiss on his lips, its mostly for show. Pedro cheering at them. But it brings comfort to Ant. Dan showing him off. For some stupid reason Dan then jumps onto his back and they meander down the driveway swooping about. Taco seems more excited than Rosalia.

Dan slots right into Portugal life, something Ant isn't used to. Dan has only ever been for trackside, parties, and hotels. Mixed in now with his house, Kempten and the Abt offices.

Sure, he's seen Dan on the beach, but for promo. Never with un-gelled hair and a wetsuit on, pretty adept at surfing. It's nice to watch Dan surf, hit the water and get back up to try again. Not quite perfect. But always going back in for a second try. While Ant's own friends rib him for keeping all these secrets, mock him for disappearing for the end of the summer. Shutting up pretty quickly when they see Pedro trying to build sandcastles with Rosalia. Seeing the reason. That and the way Ant tells them they’ve all become like their mothers, gossiping away on towels.

When they head back, Ant scoops Rosalia up and all three of them stand under the outdoor shower to get the sand of them. He's goofing about, trying to make Rosalia smile as big as Dan. Knows at the corner of his vision that his brother is taking photographs.

Forgets about the act though, only remembering when Dan is curling them onto the side of the bed, towels wrapped around their waists from the 'proper shower' they just took.

It’s nice, this easy and open intimacy with each other. Opening his phone while flicks of water hit him from how Dan hasn't dried his hair properly.

They look like a family in the photo, a proper unit. Pedro's text accompanying the photo's makes his heart feel like it will burst from his chest. Dan makes him jump when he speaks.

'What does it say',

Dan’s half shaking his hair in the way dogs do to dry themselves out. When Ant tells him Pedro’s caption.

'He says that you look at me like I’m the whole world'

In between kisses. Dan tells him that he's more than the whole world. In between the sheets, as they fall together. Connected fully, Dan tells him, that he is home.

Antonio lies in the bedsheets, ruined, and rumpled. Confesses to Daniel Abt in return, that he is his home too.

That's the thing, that Antonio clings on to. when Dan has to eventually leave. When the commitments of their jobs kick in.

He doesn't cry at the sight of the retreating Audi down the drive, Rosalia does enough of that for him. Toddles around the house yelling Dabt Dabt, like she's missing something. Unaware that Ant is missing that same thing too.

But they are not apart. not really. Waking up next to each other is just, face timing while spooning pillows. Looking at the tiny rock garden they planted. Together. Sending pictures to Sebastian with thank you. Sending pictures to Daniel of Taco peeing on the plants. Just to get a dumb voice message in return.

There's no 'coming out' to anyone really, they become unspoken knowledge in the way that hook-ups normally are. By the time the season starts, they are old news. A pointless thing to mess around with, already the jokers on the grid.

Already used to ribbing, adept at fighting back through jokes. Ant has a championship to defend. There’s no time for anything but grins across tracks when their eyes meet on the grid. Head nods across fan signing tables. Wink's at questions asked by curious fans. The no coming out is aided by the fact they've never defined their relationship to each other.

It gets to the week before Paris before the plans are all set into place. When Pedro wanders into his room while he's on call to Dan. Ant turns the phone around, to show Daniel his brother and Rosalia resting on Pedro’s hip.

Pedro takes the phone away, ignores Ant's cries of 'Hey, that's my boyfriend your stealing' just to hear Dan laugh excitedly when Pedro say's

'Guess who is coming to see you race this weekend'.

By the time he gets his phone back, Dan look's about to burst.

'Did you call me your boyfriend'

Ant's not expecting the conversation to turn the way it does. Confessing first kisses with men to each other on a face time call. How Dan doesn't laugh when Ant confesses that he and Robin kissed way back when they were awkward, and baby faced. Just to get it out of the way. Ant falls off the bed laughing though when Dan confesses it was a truth or dare kiss at some GP2 party. The image of Dan and Jolyon Palmer making out too much for Ant to handle. By the time the laughter stops, Dan's eyelids are drooping, creased with happy laughter lines.

'I love you, boyfriend' Ant say's, and the only reply is 'mmmm, boyfriend', before Dan's asleep. Snoozing away lightly on the phone, Ant disconnects, lets the happiness spread into his body. Falls into sleep too.  

Paris feels otherworldly, like the world around them has knitted together perfectly.

Jev invites them all over for dinner the day after the race, and they eat Pasta in his house. Ant laughs because Cheetah so clearly runs this domain. No Max to bug her.

Pedro knows Jev anyways, they get on well, helping each other in the kitchen while he is left to put a wriggling Rosalia in her highchair. Probably best, with the hangover his teammate is nursing from his home win celebrations that Rosalia’s protests don’t disturb him too much.

It’s nice to feel accepted. That they can be here, Dan wiping pasta sauce of Ant's face while he himself has not spilt a single drop on his starch white designer t-shirt. All chatting away with each other.

Jev sits with his camera, and watches Ant watch Dan hear the first time Rosalia say's 'Daniel'.

Everything fades into the background. He hadn’t known she could say Daniel either.

Ant feels like he's been pulled under a wave, caught in the riptide. He can hear everything around him. The rhythmic snapping of Jev's analogue camera. The clang of cutlery and the soft sound of Cheetahs paws.

Pedro saying, 'Well done Rosalia', all while Rosalia shouts 'Tio e Tio', and knows that she means him and Daniel.

Dan's palm is warm on his thigh. Pulling him out from the waves, untying his metaphorical surfboard. Picking him up and carrying him to shore.

He looks at Daniel.

'She called you uncle you know'

Pauses, feels the after taste of tomato from the pasta. Savours it like his next words, the ones he knows will pull the biggest smile from Daniel's mouth.

'Don't you dare try and teach her 'all the way abt'', lets a smile split his own face as he realises the way he has echoed one of the first things he had said to Dan when Rosalia had waltzed into their lives to bring them together.

'I wouldn't dare'

When the world comes pouring back into Ant’s awareness. It's probably because Rosalia is yelling silly sounds at them kissing and has absolutely nothing to do with the way Dan whispers against his lips conspiratorially.

'Thought you said I couldn't be her uncle'

Maybe Ant's a liar. But then so is Daniel, going behind his back to upload a clip of Rosalia saying 'All The Way Abt' to Instagram. It’s the first of Dan’s photos from the weekend. Ant swipes right, to the next images that follow.

There's a shot of Lucas fixing Daniels hair, Ant knows it was un-styled because he hadn't had the time to put gel in it, too distracted with running around caring for Rosalia.

A picture of the car as it wheels around the track, damage on the side evident. Followed by another as the chequered flag falls, p6 secured in spite of things for Daniel. His hand captured punching the air with joy.

Finally, the last image. taken from Jev's camera. Of him and Daniel. at the dinner table, caught just as Dan had wiped away the tomato sauce from Ant's mouth.

He traces his hand over his mouth now, right where Dan’s hands had touched him. Feels Dan rolls over in the bed behind him, curl a hand over Ant's torso, continue to lightly snore. that's when Ant finally takes notice of the caption.

paris, the city of love and finishing in the points with an unplanned pit stop. #allthewayabt

Notes:

thank you to anyone who gave me information, translations or inspirations for this.

i was going to name this after walk the moon's portugal, then decided that this working title was better. but i think portugal is a fitting song for this fic. has that sentiment i am always trying to express.

love is found in the kitchen in my world, probably not on a formula e street circuit. in any case, you can find me on tumblr
im alphatoro on tumblr