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Turn The Page... Find My Heart

Summary:

This beautifully created masterpiece by nuta_nchubik and the accompanying reylo one shot (chapter 2) by myself was inspired by a twitter prompt from @galacticidiots:

Author Rey’s new children’s book features a grumpy bunny named Benji who after many trials and tribulations finds friendship and love. What nobody knows is that it’s inspired by Rey’s friend Ben and that it’s her attempt to get him to notice she’s been in love with him for ages.

Chapter Text

Introducing a wonderful new work entitled Moon Bunny by brand new author Rey Johnson...

 

Moon Bunny front cover

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the end

Chapter Text

Once upon a time, there lived a girl called Rey and she was the author of a children’s story book called Moon Bunny, but there was a secret hidden amongst the pages that Rey didn’t want her roommate Ben to discover… 

Rey begged him not to come to the reading of her debut children’s book. It wasn’t that she wasn’t excited about the launch, of course she was. She just had her reasons for not wanting Ben to attend. So she did everything she could think of to dissuade him. She threatened him with sticky kids and insufferable middle class parents and a cramped, humid, stuffy children’s bookshop but he still came. Said he wanted to support her. Said he was oh so very proud of her. The prick. She could hardly say no then could she? 

He stood there now at the back of the room smiling at her, towering above the gaggle of mother’s surrounding their cross legged little darlings who were scattered at Rey’s feet looking up at her hopefully as she sat before them with her story book open in her lap. 

Rey’s fingers were shaking as she cracked open the pages. She had managed to keep the contents of her writing entirely secret from Ben. Feeding him some bullshit about creative sensitivity in order to keep him at bay. The real reason for her wanting to keep her work secret from him, was because she didn’t want Ben to know what she had written. 

She didn’t want him to know what her book was really about. Not until she was ready to tell him anyway. Not until she was prepared to share the truth with him. But it was too late now. She didn’t have a choice. She had to go through with the reading and plaster a fake smile on her face and pretend she didn’t feel as though she were naked in a room full of people. Ben Solo was about to find out the contents of her book and simultaneously, the contents of her heart. 

Rey began to read… 

 

There once was a bunny called Benji, 

who lived far, far away. 

Benji was a moody bun, 

who behaved in a very bad way.

 

Rey looked up and noted that Ben’s eyebrow quirked at the mention of his childhood nickname. That could be a coincidence though, right? Maybe she just liked the name. Maybe he wouldn’t notice any of the other similarities... 

 

Benji didn’t like the day,

he much preferred the night.

for Benji was a moon bunny,

who turned away from light.

 

Would Ben realise this was a reference to all his night shifts at the hospital? Rey sneaked a peek at him. He looked passive. Rey started to relax. Maybe she was going to get away with it after all… 

 

So while the sun was shining,

and the sky was bright and blue,

Benji would sit grumpily,

and moan and sulk and stew.

 

The other bunnies called him,

they cried out ‘Come have fun!’

But Benji just ignored them,

he was not a happy bun.

 

So many times Rey tried to coax Ben to come do something with her and he always declined saying he was too tired or had some important research to review. It broke her heart to leave him behind in their small apartment day after day but then it always broke her heart to be parted from him. 

Uh-oh. 

Rey had forgotten how the next verse ended. Oh well, nothing she could do about it now. She dived in. 

 

So Benji sat alone all day,

waiting for the moon,

until the day that he met Rey,

at one in the afternoon.

 

Rey met Ben at exactly 1pm coming out of a coffee shop in the centre of town. She had been excited to eat her bagel when Ben rudely barged past her, knocking it out of her hand. Rey had given him a verbal tongue lashing right there in the street, which only served to make him smirk with amusement. He apologised and bought her two bagels to make up for it. They had been best friends ever since and roommates very quickly afterwards when Ben’s old roommate Poe moved in with his girlfriend Kay. 

 

Rey was a sunny bunny,

she liked to bask and play,

Benji wanted to join her,

but decided to stay away.

 

Ben always said Rey was like the sun. Always shining. Spreading her warmth. She loved that he thought that about her but she hated that he rejected her every time she tried to get close to him. 

She looked at Ben. His expression had changed. His arms were at his sides now and it looked at if he had moved closer to her. Did he suspect something? Rey’s heart hitched in her chest as she continued with the story. 

 

But Rey was a curious rabbit,

she seeked him out in the shade,

and rubbed her nose against his,

and snuggled up where he laid.

 

Benji was so shook up,

he didn’t know how what to do,

he froze in place beside her,

so Rey sat quietly too.

 

Being a pathetic love sick fool, Rey did everything she could to be physically near Ben without arousing his suspicion. Including pretending to fall asleep on his shoulder when they watched movies, wiping at invisible lint on his clothing and taking his hand under the pretence of wanting to turn his wrist to see the time. Yes, Rey had a whole bag of comforting tricks to help her cope with her emotional condition which her best friend Rose had affectionately dubbed Ben Soloitis. 

She looked at Ben. His eyes were fixed on hers. She swallowed and felt a lump form in her throat. This had been a bad idea. He knew something was up and he didn’t look happy. He didn't feel the same way she did. He didn’t want her the way she wanted him. How could she have been so stupid as to plaster her heart all over the pages of this trivial little children’s book? 

She felt vulnerable and raw. Panic clawed at her throat. How could she take this back now? How would she explain all the similarities between themselves and their bunny versions? Maybe she could laugh it off. Maybe they would just forget the whole thing. She knew she was lying to herself, but she wasn’t ready to face the truth. Not yet. 

 

For many, many middays,

Rey sat at Benji’s side. 

she didn’t speak or coax him,

but near him she stayed tied.

 

Rey never dated. She was so hung up on Ben she chose to stay in with him night after night playing cards and watching Netflix and pretending they were a real couple. She ignored all her friend’s offers to set her up with eligible bachelors. They didn’t understand. She had her man. He just didn't know it. 

 

So one day Benji asked her,

why she didn’t play,

he asked if she was happy,

just staying where she lay.

 

Ben had once asked Rey why she never dated. He had told her she was beautiful. That she could have any man she wanted. He asked her if there was something holding her back and she had laughed it off and said she was just taking a break. That it was just temporary and she would put herself back out there when she was ready. But it was a weak lie. Her love for Ben wasn’t temporary and she would never look at another man the way she looked at him. She was off the market permanently. Whether Ben returned her love or not. 

Rey started to tremble as she read the next verse.

 

Rey’s big brown eyes fixed on his,

his heart beat oh so late,

and Rey said she was quite content,

to just be with her mate.

And there it was. She had in a somewhat obscure way just told Ben Solo that she was in love with him and from the way he was looking at her across the room, she was pretty sure he knew it too. 

Shit. 

She should have known he was clever enough to figure it out. He was a Doctor for goodness sake. 

Why did she think she could deceive him when her only line of defence was little cartoon bunnies? Because she was an idiot. That’s why. 

Oh God. 

She was really going to have to say the next part in front of him wasn’t she? 

Okay

This was fine. 

This was perfectly fine.

She could do this. 

She took a deep breath and started to read. 

And Benji gasped and flustered,

for he could finally see,

that Rey was his life partner,

his bunny wife to be.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that she had just loudly declared her love for him to a crowded room, she also just admitted to the fact that she wanted to be his wife too. 

He was going to think she was some sort of creepy stalker. It had all seemed so sweet and innocent when she wrote her cute little children’s story. Now it seemed like the ramblings of some deranged obsessive fan. 

He was never going to talk to her again. He might even change the locks.

Oh well...

No point trying to hide anything now. She might as well just get through the rest of the book so she could go into hiding for the rest of her miserable life. 

 

It took him time to notice,

the sweetie by his side,

but once he knew she was his,

he no longer tried to hide. 

He still preferred the night time, 

he still preferred the dark,

but he gathered with the other buns,

who hopped around the park. 

All Rey ever wanted was for Ben to look at her one day and see more than his friend and roommate. She wanted him to see her for what she truly was. A woman. A woman who loved him with every inch of her heart. But he never looked at her that way and she was beginning to suspect he never would. It hurt to read the next part of the story. 

 

And Rey she was so content,

to have him be with her,

she was so proud to be his,

and nuzzle at his fur. 

 

The two were never parted,

after that fateful day,

they lived together happily,

as soulmates in love may. 

 

Soon Rey and Benji mated,

and so their family grew,

and they all loved each other so,

and now they love you too. 

 

As Rey closed the book, she mused that it was quite fitting for her to round off her little fantastic tale by mentioning that she also imagined the two of them having children together. 

Hey at least she hadn’t named them all. That was a small silver lining. 

The children and mothers clapped and cheered. Rey smiled and bowed. Ben just looked at her. The children crowded around and Rey signed more books than she could count. She quickly lost sight of Ben in the excited throng.

The night was a great success, she made many sales and was interviewed for a national newspaper. Later, when everyone had cleared out, Rey realised that Ben must have slipped out early. Tears pricked her eyes but she blinked them away. It was inevitable that he wouldn’t want to see her after what she had done. She hopped into a taxi and headed back to the apartment they shared. 

She tried to open and shut the door as quietly as she could when she got home. Hoping she could make a break for her room, shut the door and stay there all night. But as soon as she finished locking up, Ben was there looming over her.

‘Don’t you have a shift to get to?’ Rey squeaked. 

Ben shook his head slowly. ‘I traded it.’ 

‘Oh.’ Rey fumbled with the keys in her hand. ‘I’m going to go to bed.’ 

‘No you’re not.’ 

Rey looked up at him with surprise. ‘What?’ 

‘You’re not going to bed. You’re going to sit down with me and we’re going to figure this whole thing out.’ 

‘What whole thing?’ 

‘Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like that book didn’t have anything to do with you and me.’ 

Rey’s heart sank. He knew it all then. It was over. He was going to read her the riot act and kick her out. Rey silently trooped through to the living room and sat down. Ben paced in front of her and ran a hand through his hair. She suppressed a sigh as she watched him. She loved it when he did that. 

‘Okay, I’m going to ask you a series of questions and you are going to answer them truthfully, okay?’ he ordered. 

Rey nodded. 

‘Is Benji bunny based on me?’ 

Rey blushed. ‘There might be more than a passing resemblance, yes.’ 

‘And Rey bunny is you?’ 

‘Affirmative.’ 

‘And the things Rey bunny thought about Benji bunny… do you… are they… is that…’ Ben ran a hand over his face, then crouched in front of Rey taking her hands in his. 

‘Rey, do you want those things with me? Please. Tell me. I need to know.’ 

She looked into his eyes. Urgh. She couldn’t lie to those beautiful dark beauties. 

Rey nodded. ‘I do. I’m sorry but I do. I know you don’t feel the same. Please don’t let this make things awkward between us… we can go back to the way things were before. I’ll never mention it again. I can’t stop the book from coming out but no one needs to know that the characters are based on us…’ 

Ben put a finger to Rey’s lips to stop her from talking. 

‘Rey, why do you think I don’t feel the same?’ 

Ben pulled his finger away and Rey looked down at him in shock. 

‘You never go anywhere with me,’ she explained. 

Ben gave her a crooked smile. ‘Because it tears me in two to see how men react to you and not be able to stake a claim over you by holding your hand or running an arm along your shoulders.’ 

‘You never touch me,’ Rey pressed. 

‘Because it’s too much for me, Rey. If I even so much as graze your arm, my whole body sets on fire and all I can think about is grabbing you and kissing you senseless.’ 

Rey was overwhelmed with hope. 

‘Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?’ she whispered. 

Ben sighed. ‘Because you said it yourself, Rey. You’re the sun and I’m the moon. You are bright and wondrous and I’m dark and deeply flawed. What do I have to offer you?’ 

‘Your love,’ Rey half sobbed. Ben looked up at her thoughtfully. 

‘Would that make you happy?’ 

‘Immeasurably,’ Rey bubbled. 

Ben cupped her cheek with his hand. ‘Then it’s yours, because I do love you, Rey. I love you so much.’ 

Rey launched herself towards him, pressing her lips to his and Ben fell backwards onto the floor. He laughed as Rey straddled him and scattered kisses all over his face. 

‘Calm down little bunny,’ he teased. 

Rey giggled. ‘I can’t. I’m so happy I could burst.’ 

Ben stilled her, and pushed a curl of hair behind her ear. 

‘I’m happy too, Rey. I wish I had just told you how I was feeling.’ 

‘Shhhh… none of that matters. We’re on the same page now and that’s what’s important.’

Ben nodded at her and smiled. ‘Yes, you’re right. It doesn’t matter when we began, all that matters is that our story has a happy ending.’ 

Rey kissed him again and placed her forehead against his. 

‘Will you live happily ever after with me, Ben Solo?’ 

‘Yes Rey, my sunshine girl, for as long as we both shall live.’ 

The End

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