Chapter Text
Audio file recorded 29th February, 2016. Archival break room.
[KITCHEN SOUNDS. A CABINET OPENS AND CLOSES, AND A CHAIR SQUEAKS]
SASHA JAMES: Hey, Tim!
TIM STOKER: Sasha! What is up.
[A CHAIR SQUEAKS]
SASHA: Nothing much. Hey, have you seen Martin?
TIM: Hm. Y’know, I don’t think I have. Is he out, then?
SASHA: S’pose so. It’s just that he usually texts.
TIM: Eh, he’s probably just running late then. Hope he’s not sick, though. He’ll miss our archival assistants’ night out!
[SASHA LAUGHS]
SASHA: Tim, it’s Monday! It’s not like we were going to go out tonight anyway!
[TIM INHALES SHARPLY]
TIM: (deeply wounded) Sasha. You think so little of me. Honestly, it’s like you’ve forgotten all our legendary Monday night exploits…
SASHA: (crosstalk, laughing) Anyway. Martin was supposed to do some research on the Vittery case last week so I could start on follow-ups, but if he’s not here there isn’t much I can do.
TIM: Hell yeah, free day? Wanna play hooky?
[SASHA SNORTS]
SASHA: Right. I’ll just toss all the other statements I could be working on in the bin, head out and enjoy the- (pause, presumably as she checks a watch) -10:30 Monday morning nightlife, and then come back just in time for Jon to decapitate me and lecture my severed head. Ready when you are, Stoker.
TIM: (audibly smiling) Let’s do it.
[SWALLOWING NOISE AS TIM TAKES A SIP OF TEA]
TIM (CON’T): Jon wouldn’t decapitate you, though. He likes you too much. Now, if Martin pulled something like that-
SASHA: Mm. Poor Martin – I wish Jon would go a bit easier on him.
TIM: Yeah.
SASHA: I hope Jon’s not too upset with him for being gone today.
TIM: Oh! That shouldn’t be a problem, actually.
SASHA: What?
TIM: I thought you noticed. Boss-man’s missing, too. He won’t even know Martin isn’t here.
SASHA: Oh! I didn’t realize. That’s weird, I don’t remember the last time Jon missed work.
TIM: (delighted) Right? I’m thinking all the hours of sleep he’s missed reading statements caught up to him, and now he’s gonna sleep for at least three years. Or he finally made the transition into full-time library cryptid, and he’s drifting semi-corporeal through the shelves somewhere.
[SASHA LAUGHS]
SASHA: Probably the second one.
TIM: Totally. Not long now until the first statements start rolling in about him. (high-pitched, dramatic) And then an extremely grumpy man in a cardigan just appeared in front of me, and started lecturing me about filing procedures! I don’t know how I’ll ever recover!
SASHA: (solemn) I’m sorry, but there’s just not enough evidence to reliably follow up on this. I’m afraid this statement will be filed under discredited.
TIM: (laughing) Damn.
[THERE ARE SEVERAL SECONDS OF RELATIVE SILENCE, ASIDE FROM MUGS AGAINST THE TABLE AND SOME RUSTLING]
TIM: (mischievous) Maybe they’re both late because Martin finally made a move.
[SASHA SPLUTTERS]
SASHA: Tim!
TIM: What?
SASHA: I do not want to think about that.
TIM: Who would? (smugly) Aside from Martin, of course-
SASHA: (crosstalk) Don’t be gross.
TIM: Just theorizing, Sash. I don’t know what Martin sees in him anyway.
SASHA: Me either. Maybe he’s into the whole prematurely grey thing?
TIM: Or the arrogant bastard thing.
SASHA: Rude.
TIM: It’s true.
SASHA: I think he’s just under a lot of pressure.
TIM: I guess so. He was more fun in research – I swear I even saw him smile once.
SASHA: Imagine that.
TIM: It was a goddamn miracle. I’ll have to try and trick him into doing it again later.
SASHA: Once he awakens from his thousand-year slumber, you mean.
TIM: (amused) Right.
End recording.