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(you are) the very air i struggle to breathe by honeysoo
Fandoms: Naruto, Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
03 Aug 2020
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Summary
Uchiha Sasuke dies, avenging his brother and regret heavy in his heart.
Katsuki Yuuri is born, stars and ice swirling in his eyes.
(or, where Sasuke dies and is born to a loving family, skates, and learns how to be human.)
Series
- Part 3 of souls cross ages like clouds cross skies
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Bookmark Notes:
✅❤️
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Bookmark Notes:
Ch 1
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Bookmark Notes:
Ngl, I cried a few times, and this made me homesick. Great exploration of Sasuke taking on a new life in Katsuki Yuri's shoes.
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Bookmark Notes:
Yuuri can barely hear the man’s words of congratulations, of how he had been surprised and amazed at Yuuri’s step sequences, when all he can hear is the blood rushing in his ears and his breath quickening.
He looks at the wide smile, the eyes so blue they seemed as blank as the ocean, and the pallid sheen on the older skater’s face. If Yuuri steps back, he knows that the silver-pale hair will shift into a sunny blonde, the ice blue eyes into sky blue, but the smile will stay as empty and as fake as the boy who tried to save Sasuke from himself.
So he stands his ground, no matter how much he wants to run.
Yuuri has spent close to a decade working out his issues, pacing the confines of the pale blue-green walls of Minami-sensei’s clinic, but even as he closes his eyes and works through his breathing exercises he knows he cannot stave off the anger that is cresting in his chest.
When his eyes snap open, Victor Nikiforov flinches back at the intensity in them.
Good, he thinks, before hissing at the man who reminds him so much of Naruto it hurts.
Don’t smile if you don’t mean it, he bites out, memories of a blonde boy’s fake laughter and trembling fingers stealing his breath away. If you’re not happy, then fucking do something about it, and don’t let this goddamn world take you down with it, usuratonkachi.
Let them all burn, and fire your useless coach if he can’t see that you’re burned out, he continues, ignoring Celestino’s gasps, ignoring the furious yells of Nikiforov’s dumb coach, ignoring everything but the wide blue eyes looking at Yuuri like he is the messiah and the end of the world all at once condensed in a small body.
Yuuri takes a step closer, poking the man’s chest with a finger and rolling his eyes at the wince.
If you’re so done with winning and figure skating, then quit, he says, or else enjoy the view from the bottom of the podium, because I’m going to knock your sorry ass down.
Apparently that declaration of war breaks his coach because then he’s being dragged down the hallway back to his room, Celestino’s hysterical apologies and cries echoing in the suddenly quiet hallway. Yuuri takes one last peek at the frozen gold medalist, takes in the eyes that no longer looked empty, takes in the flush on the man’s face that made him look alive, and takes a deep breath. When he arrives in his room, waving away Celestino’s nagging, he heads to the window to look up at the sky.
It almost feels like there is lightning coating his fingers, the warm chest of Naruto around his arm, and gentle blue eyes staring at him as he decides at the last second not to murder the boy who had begun to mean more than his revenge.
With a thunk, he lets his head rest against the cold glass and sighs. Tomorrow, he will apologize to Celestino, because the poor man had never had to deal with his angry outbursts before. It must have been a shock to see quiet, polite Yuuri swearing and threatening to dethrone Russia’s living legend.
&
He holds a conference two days later, Ita-chan proudly wearing his vest and Celestino proudly wearing a smile behind him.
I have an anxiety disorder, he says to the press, but that does not make me weak or invalid. Every day, I wake up a wreck, obsessing over every little thing that could go wrong. Crowds scare me, long hair against my skin makes me panic, and loud sounds make me jump. I have undergone years of therapy, working through my issues, and I have Ita-chan. I am not perfect, but I am strong. I don’t care if you all think that I shouldn’t be competing, that maybe the judges will be swayed and score my jumps higher because they pity me. They don’t because, unlike you, they see me and not my disorder.
Yuuri eyes the sullen faces of the reporters, and smiles, eyes hard. He tells them, I have clawed my way up from the very bottom, fought my demons, and learned exactly what it is to be human. I won’t let you people take away my ice, my freedom, and I won’t let you put me in a box of mental disorders under the guise of “for my own good”. We are all people; all of us have problems and issues. That doesn’t make us weak- it just shows us how much we have to struggle. And every day, that struggle proves that we are still alive.
There is a heavy silence in the room. When he walks out after he says his piece, no one stops him.
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Bookmark Notes:
Oh fuck you and your gay shit like why did you write this I'll like never ever going to stop crying now this was too good