Chapter Text
Carmilla opened her eyes at the little light that shone through the cracks in the wooden paneling.
She wasn’t sure how long Mother had kept in her there. It could’ve been hours and Carmilla wouldn’t have known. Her stomach rumbled with hunger. She had to at least been there through the night.
She lifted her hands slightly, feeling the wooden paneling only about two feet above her. The confines of the space allowed her to sit up slightly, but it was much more uncomfortable than lying down against the dirt underneath her.
Her stomach rumbled again, signaling her need for food. She needed to get out here. Mother had been keeping her in here longer and longer as she got older. How much longer she would be kept in here, she didn’t know.
The wooden paneling in front of her looked like it was getting closer and closer. Out of the corners of her eyes she was the dirt walls getting closer to her as well. The walls were closing in.
It couldn’t have been real; the walls had never moved before while she was in here. Her mind to be playing tricks on her, but it didn’t seem to matter. Her body was betraying her.
It felt like the air from the room was being sucked out as the walls grew closer to her. The air didn’t feel like it was reaching her lungs, she could barely breath. Her lungs felt like they were burning. She needed to get out, she needed air.
. Carmilla mustered as much energy as she could and started banging on the door with her fists. She sucked in as much air as she could.
“Get me out of here!” She screamed. “Let me out! I can’t breathe!”
She hit her fists against the door, feeling like her efforts were useless. No one was there. Even if there was no one was going to help her. Mother wouldn’t allow it.
“Someone… please…” she barely managed to wheeze out. Her breathe was getting shallow. Darkness started to close in around her vision, feeling her body shutting down.
Her fist movements against the wood slowed and then stopped. She was going to die in this dirt hole.
Her muscles felt like dead weight and water started dripping down the sides of her face. She could barely see anything in her vision.
Then a sudden light flooded what she had left of her vision.
Carmilla shielded the light from her eyes. When they adjusted, she could see that someone had opened the floor door. She opened up her mouth and took a large breath of fresh air. She took too much at once, choking on air causing her to cough hysterically.
In the midst of her coughing fit, she looked up through the light. A small hand was stretched out in front of her. She reached up and grabbed it.
Carmilla fell over to her knees, still coughing, trying to control her breathing.
She heard a voice say something and then felt a hand pat her back. She couldn’t hear what they were saying, her ears were ringing, throat burning, and her eyes were still adjusting to the light.
“Sissy, did you hear me,” she heard a young, familiar voice say. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
Carmilla finally sat up on her knees and turned towards the voice. Will was standing there with his winning, innocent smile
“Will? What are you doing?” she asked, her voice hoarse.
“It’s breakfast time,” he said matter-of-factly. “I was trying to find you in your room, but Miss Perry said that you were playing hide-and-seek and that I had to find you.”
Carmilla managed to give him a small smile. The only person in the castle who could get away with defying Mother and he didn’t even know that he was doing it.
She couldn’t let him know that and he wouldn’t even begin to understand. Mother would blame her for his defiance. It would be alright though. It was better that it was her rather than him.
“Will… You got me,” she sighed. “I can’t hide from you.”
“No, you can’t!” he yelled excitedly.
Carmilla finally was able to breathe normally and brought herself to her feet. She was so grateful for her little brother.
“Let’s go grab breakfast,” Carmilla smiled and grabbed her little brother’s hand.
They started walking from the kitchen to the dining hall.
“Then can we play some more games after breakfast?” Will asked hopefully.
Carmilla frowned. Assuming that it was a normal day, Mother probably had her day planned out already. More lessons… That was also assuming that Mother was planning to let her out sometime soon.
She dropped down onto one know in front of Will to meet his eyeline. He was so young and full of child innocence.
“If Mother doesn’t have anything scheduled, we can play,” Carmilla held both of his hands. “But she might have something scheduled for me.”
“But Mother allwwaaayys has plans for you and you never get to play with me anymore,” Will whined. “I just wanna plllaaayyy.”
Carmilla sighed and brushed his medium length hair out of his face.
“I’ll make you a deal,” she smiled at him. “If you promise not to disturb Mother or interrupt her plans, I’ll find some time to play with you for the next few days, okay?”
Carmilla sighed and brushed his hair.
Will manifested a large smile on his face.
“Yes!” Will said, nodding his head frantically.
In his excitement, Will had forgotten to let Carmilla get up before dragging her by a hand out of the kitchen.
“Let’s get to Mother faster so that we can play faster,” he giggled as Carmilla almost tripped.
Will almost made her forget about the dark, small space underneath the kitchen.
Carmilla smiled at the memory of young Will. He didn’t spend enough time being a child in his childhood. After their father died, he grew up rather quickly. He took up sword and diplomatic training. Mother had planned to use him eventually, to marry him off and gain land and gold for their kingdom. It made him become very aware of Mother’s cold and demanding personality.
If he wasn’t training, he was doing his best to distract Mother’s attention from Carmilla. He tried to be a good younger brother and protect her. However, it was Carmilla that wanted their stepmother’s attention.
At first, it was to divert her attention away from Will, but somewhere along the way it turned into something else.
He spent most of his time learning to fight and trying to protect Carmilla from their stepmother whereas she started to yearn for Mother’s attention and approval. Eventually, she turned into something else- someone else. As she took more power of the throne, she needed her Mother’s approval less and less. The approval she looked for was her own.
She hated what she had turned into. She hated what Mother had turned her into. Her thirst for power and wealth grew just as Mother had taught her too. She began to enjoy the fame and power that she once tried to reject.
Everything her father had taught her… She had forgotten it all- how respect stemmed from a balance of kindness and mercy with a heavy hand. He taught her about how much the people of Silas mattered to the kingdom because without them, they had no kingdom.
By the time she had come of age, all of that was forgotten, replaced with her stepmother’s teachings.
It was all her fault. She should’ve stood by her father and his words. She should’ve been stronger than her stepmother. Her father had taught her how to be strong. Just another thing that faded from her mind after he died.
Laura couldn’t understand that. She would never be able too.
It was amazing that she tried to see the best in people and see the best in bad situations. It may be a little naïve, but it was incredibly beautiful the way she tried.
Carmilla felt bad for snapping at Laura during dinner. She knew that she was wrong about doing that. It had been herself that she was mad at.
Laura had made it clear that she wanted to help, but Carmilla didn’t want to burden her with the curse anymore than anyone else was.
She had to admit that she liked the young girl. Telling her how the curse was to be broken would only put more a rift in between them. Laura was young and curious, if she knew how the curse was broken… she would either run away from Carmilla or really try to help break it. Carmilla didn’t want either of those scenarios.
If there was any chance of Carmilla falling in love, some falling in love with her- more particularly- she didn’t want it to feel fake or overtly tried. It all calculated to the conclusion that it would never happen for her.
Even if Carmilla was falling for the young girl, it was a feeling that Laura could never return. Carmilla was sure of that. She was a beast, an ugly thing that had roared and growled at constantly. A beautiful, sweet girl like Laura would never develop feelings for her.
For the first time in a long time, she felt the need to apologize to Laura and try to make up for her outburst. She had dealt with the conversation immaturely while Laura had remained calm and mature. If anything, she had more of child-like during their last conversation.
And the thing that she heard come out Laura’s mouth… It had surprised her; the way Laura had spoken to her after her outburst.
“…you deserve better,” is what she had said. Laura believed that Carmilla deserved better than the hand that she had been dealt. No one believed in her like that, she didn’t even believe in herself like that. It had given pause to Carmilla after that. She couldn’t believe that someone out there thought she deserved a better world.
Laura was something else.
Carmilla pushed open the kitchen doors, it was early in the morning and everything was quiet. The only person in the room was JP, slumbering in the corner of the kitchen. She was always jealous that they all could sleep, and she could not despite them living as normally inanimate objects.
“JP,” Carmilla spoke loudly, knocking on the top of stove to wake him up.
With a rustle of the oven door and snort, the stove woke up.
“M-m-master,” JP stuttered in surprise. “Did I oversleep? Do you need your breakfast? I apologize, I can get it to you right away if you g-“
Carmilla waved her hand for him to shut up and he immediately stopped.
“It’s much earlier than usual,” Carmilla replied. “I just wanted to get here with enough time before Laura woke up.”
“Enough time for what,” JP asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, your majesty.”
Carmilla looked down and her hands which seemed to have a mind of their own. She was rubbing her fingers against her knuckles, an old habit of hers that she used to do when she was nervous about asking for help. Mother had used her lessons to “urge” Carmilla to get rid of that nervous tick. It had been many, many years since she last did it.
“I wanted to surprise Laura with breakfast to her room this morning, rather than having her come down her today.”
“Ahhh, very romantic Master,” JP commented.
Carmilla growled.
“I’m not trying to be romantic,” Carmilla lied to JP and herself. “It’s a gesture. I may have said something unsavory at dinner last night. I want to make it up to her.”
“So an apology then?” JP asked as he whipped around the kitchen.
“No,” Carmilla lied again.
It would be a cold day in hell before Carmilla admitted to her staff that she was willing to apologize for something.
“Well,” JP said after a moment. “I should have her breakfast ready momentarily and then I can bring it up to her if you would like.”
“No,” Carmilla said again. “I can bring it to her myself.”
JP dropped a utensil on the ground.
“Yourself?” JP asked in surprise.
Carmilla nodded and then JP continued to cook the food. She didn’t say another word to him, but watched JP work on Laura’s breakfast.
She had never taken an interest in cooking before. Their family had always had chefs to do it and when she tried to learn, Mother had told her that learning how to cook was not for royalty. Now, she had no need for food. Blood was all she needed.
However, standing and waiting for the food right now, she couldn’t help but be curious about what JP was doing.
“How exactly are you cooking right now?”
JP paused for a moment, expression unreadable.
“Well,” JP continued moving about in the kitchen. “Laura seems to have a real sweet tooth, I guess it’s a good thing she does a lot of yoga.”
“Yoga?” Carmilla asked.
“It’s an exercise thing,” JP explained. “A lot of… stretching and stuff. I don’t know the specifics of it.”
Carmilla nodded her head. Exercise was not something she was particularly familiar with. The only time she would get some back in her day was when she would secretly sword train with Will during her free time.
“As I was saying, she has a real sweet tooth, so I always try to include a little something extra with her breakfast. Today I’ve decided to go with a simple pancake recipe with a small side of eggs and bacon. Nothing too fancy.”
“Hmmm…” Carmilla hovered over the counter at all the ingredients on the table, picking up a whisk. “And you mix with this?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
Carmilla held this whisk in her hand and made a small circular motion with it. Cooking had never really interested her before today.
JP cleared his throat.
“If you would like,” JP said cautiously. “to mix the pancake batter while I cook up the eggs and bacon, you can do that.”
“Why would I want to do that?” Carmilla asked quickly putting the whisk back down.
She couldn’t deny that she really did want to help. It would be a nicer gesture for Laura, but the royalty in her… Mother’s way… her mind was telling her that it was servant’s work. However, it was catching her interest.
“I do not mean to offend, your majesty,” JP said quickly. “It just looked- well- you just seem a little interested in it.”
Carmilla considered this for a moment. Mother would probably lose her head if she found out that Carmilla was in the kitchen. She would kill over if she found her in the kitchen helping the help. The thought almost made Carmilla laugh.
Mother wasn’t around though.
“I will mix the batter,” Carmilla decided, feeling a little rebellious against her stepmother’s wishes.
If she was going to be a better person, she might as well start by trying to right Mother’s lessons that she felt somewhat wrong.
JP handed her a bowl full of a thick, soupy liquid.
She wasn’t sure what she was doing but mixing it couldn’t be that hard. She shoved the whisk into the bowl and started stirring the batter rather vigorously.
“Gentle, your majesty,” JP said as he placed eggs and bacon on the hot stove. “No need to kill it. Just slow and gentle, mix it all in there. Going too fast my also cause the batter to fly everywhere and create a large mess.”
Carmilla nodded and slowed her efforts.
After JP concluded that the batter was mixed enough, he was finished with the eggs and bacon. He set them on a plate and started to pour the batter onto the stove, creating circles with it. Carmilla watched his closely as he worked.
“The key is the temperature of the stove,” JP told her. “Too hot and the outside of the pancake will burn while the inside will still be uncooked. Not enough temperature and it will take much longer for the pancakes to cook. At the right temperature, the pancake will cook evenly, and it will create a nice fluffy texture to it.”
Carmilla smiled as JP took the pan, throwing it with a quick jerk up, causing the pancake to flip and then land right back onto its other side on the pan.
“Neat trick,” Carmilla smirked. “Can’t be that hard to do.”
JP let out a small laugh.
“Would you like to give it a shot, your majesty?” JP challenged her.
Carmilla scoffed and placed herself in front of the stove top. She grabbed the handle of the pan, imitating JP’s movements. However, she miscalculated the strength she needed for the flip, sending the pancake up and sticking to the ceiling.
She heard JP laugh as she stared at the thing and she turned towards him.
He stopped laughing as soon as he met her eyes, looking a little terrified. It was a look that she got often from her staff.
“I think I underestimated my strength there,” Carmilla said to him with a large laugh.
JP continued with his laugh, a sounding little confused. He returned to cooking the pancakes.
When he finished, he handed the plate to Carmilla and also a glass full of orange juice. It was perfect timing too. She could hear Laura starting to stir in her bedroom.
“Thank you for your help, your majesty,” JP said adding a fork and knife onto the plate. “I’m sure the lovely Laura will enjoy the sentiment.”
“No,” Carmilla said genuinely. “Thank you for your help JP.”
JP looked flabbergasted at her. Probably a little taken aback by her thanks.
Carmilla realized that it wasn’t something she said to her staff very often. In fact, she hardly said it all even before the curse was enacted. She had been so focused on her own suffering that she often forgot about her staff’s. They were trapped in the same situation as she was. It was another thing that she learned from Mother. No need to thank that staff if they were just doing their jobs. She was realizing that it was the little things like that that earned people’s respect for her. It was the opposite of what Mother had taught her.
As Carmilla headed out the door, she heard JP mumble something under his breath. It sounded a little like “My God, that girl is really something”. Carmilla didn’t know what he was talking about, but she knew it wasn’t about herself.
When Carmilla got to Laura’s door, she suddenly felt very nervous. She didn’t know why. She just hoped that Laura liked the breakfast and would forgive her for her immature outburst last night. It was a conversation that ran through her mind all night. She felt… guilty about it. Another emotion that her stepmother deemed unbecoming of a ruler. It was another emotion that she hadn’t felt in years.
She balanced the plate and glass on one arm, reaching with her other arm to knock on the door. Before she could get a chance to, the door swung open and if it weren’t for her incredible reflexes, Laura would’ve run right into her and the breakfast would’ve spilled all over the floor. Carmilla whipped to the side, balancing the breakfast on her arm without spilling it.
“Carm!” Laura said with surprise.
Carmilla smiled sheepishly. At least Laura was referring to her by the nickname that she had given her, that was a good start. It was like she forgot about their fight last night for a moment. She cleared her throat.
“Good morning, Laura. I- uhhh… I brought you breakfast in bed,” Carmilla held out the plate and glass in front of her.
“Oh,” Laura said with surprise. “That’s great. I was just about to go down, but now it looks like I don’t have too.”
Laura held the door open for her, a silent invitation for her to enter the room.
In all her years in the castle, she had never visited this room. She hardly ever walked around the east wing anymore. Most of her time was spent, pacing and seething in anger, watching the rose wilt in her own room.
She walked over to the coffee table and saw some papers and books laid out on it.
“Your studies?” Carmilla asked.
Laura had sat herself down on her bed, watching Carmilla as she moved about the room.
“Yes, it seems that the castle still believes education is important. I am somehow managing to keep up with all my classes even with… being away.”
Carmilla tore her eyes from the books and walked over to Laura. She handed her the plate and set the glass on the bedside table.
“Thank you,” Laura said softly, but also curtly. She was probably still upset over their dinner last night and Carmilla couldn’t blame her. “Did you make this?”
Carmilla chuckled.
“No cutie, but I did mix the pancake batter.”
“You did?” Laura asked surprised.
Carmilla nodded her head as Laura took a large bite of the pancake.
“Well,” she said after swallowing it. “It tastes like you did a lovely job of mixing the batter. I approve of it, Chef Carmilla.”
They both laughed for a moment and then it died down to an uncomfortable silence. It was like they were both slowly tuning into the same tone that was set when they had left dinner last night. Carmilla was starting to feel fidgety. She didn’t like it.
As Laura ate to fill it, Carmilla was contemplating what to say. She had been so curious about cooking and then nervous about being in here that she didn’t take the time to think about what to say when she actually got here.
Carmilla bit the inside of her own cheek and then turned around. Either she could leave Laura to her breakfast, or she could say what she had come here to say. It was going against her nature to apologize and her feet and brain were urging her to leave. However, she knew that she had to talk to Laura. She couldn’t just let the silence fill, but she couldn’t figure out what to say. She had to say something, anything to Laura right now. She needed to fight the instincts that had built into her since childhood.
“I’m sorry,” Carmilla let out quickly. She had said it so quick that she couldn’t believe it actually came out of her own mouth.
“Huh?” Laura stopped eating.
Carmilla turned back around and saw that Laura was looking at her.
“I’m sorry,” Carmilla repeated. “About dinner last night. I didn’t mean what I said.”
Laura just nodded her head and then continued to eat.
Carmilla hated that she couldn’t know what was going on in Laura’s head. A part of her wanted to be mad that Laura wasn’t properly acknowledging her apology. There was no response to words Carmilla hadn’t spoken since the day she had spoken them to the enchantress. Laura couldn’t have known that though. Carmilla knew that she had every right to be mad. She had no reason to forgive her. Breakfast in bed and two little words wasn’t near enough. Maybe, she didn’t deserve to be forgiven.
“I was angry at myself, about the curse and it came out directed towards you,” Carmilla continued when Laura didn’t speak. “It was wrong of me to do that. I was the one acting like a child when I said that. It wasn’t right of me to say what I did and take my anger out on you.”
Laura stopped eating again and looked up. Honey brown eyes met chocolate ones. In that moment, Carmilla knew that she didn’t deserve to be forgiven by her. Laura was too sweet, and she didn’t deserve to be treated the way that she had treated her. She was the opposite of what Carmilla was.
“I’m not going to lie to you Carm,” Laura stated. “It really hurt when you said that. Redirecting anger like that onto me was… not great.”
Carmilla winced a little. She felt like she was being slightly reprimanded, something that no one except Mother had done to her since she was a child. Anyone else and they would have ended up smashed on the floor, but this was Laura. For some reason she felt okay with it. She felt that she deserved it. It was her fault after all.
“Your anger towards your past doesn’t excuse what you said… But I forgive you,” Laura added.
Carmilla looked deeply into her eyes. Laura was forgiving her. She felt relief for a moment, but then it came crashing back down. Laura was too kind to her. She didn’t deserve it.
“You do? Why?”
“Because I believe in you,” Laura said matter-of-factly. “I see you and I know that you really didn’t mean it. Also, the fact that you went into the kitchen and asked for help, then helped JP with this breakfast… You’re a different person than what you act like.”
Laura placed the plate down on the bedside table and approached Carmilla. She came within inches of her own face, Laura’s hand caressing her jawline.
“I see you,” Laura spoke quietly. “You’re not the beast you’re made out to be.”
Carmilla watched Laura’s eyes flit down to her lips. For a moment, she saw something flash in Laura’s eyes. She couldn’t decipher what it was. But, Carmilla’s eyes mirrored hers as she looked down at Laura’s lips. She could feel the heat coming from Laura’s breath. Laura’s heart was beating rather quickly. She could take one step forward and…
Laura took a step back, putting some a respectful amount of space between them and taking her hand off Carmilla’s face. Carmilla almost whined at the loss of her touch. It took everything in her to respect the space that Laura had placed between them.
“I’m sorry too Carm,” Laura told her. “I pushed you too far about something super personal to you. I shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t my place. Just know that you don’t have to carry the burden of the curse yourself. You have the staff to help you out and…”
She paused for a moment and looked down at the ground.
“I will offer whatever help I can,” Laura stated.
There was something unspoken there. It was like she wanted to say something different but didn’t. Carmilla was too wrapped up the fact that Laura was apologizing to her to really notice it. She didn’t believe that Laura needed give her an apology. Her jaw practically dropped to the floor, but Mother had taught her well enough to keep her mouth shut during such situations.
“Laura,” Carmilla said breathlessly. “You really- you don’t- It’s okay. You just want to help. You shouldn’t apologize for that.”
“That’s not what I’m sorry for,” Laura insisted. “I’m sorry for being pushy about personal things. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own curiosity, it can get the better of me. So, just accept it. Please.”
Laura threw a pout in her direction. It was so cute that Carmilla couldn’t say no to her.
“Fine,” Carmilla gave in. “I accept your apology and forgive you.”
Carmilla said that words, but she still didn’t think that Laura needed to apologize for anything. She was being too nice about the whole situation. Carmilla kept telling herself that she didn’t deserve Laura in her life. Laura was different from anyone that she had ever met. She had to wonder what it would’ve been like if they had met back before the curse.
“Hmm… I don’t know if you mean that,” Laura joked.
“Well, what can I do to prove to you that I mean it cupcake?”
In that moment, Carmilla would have given her anything that she asked for. If it had been to let her see the magic rose again, she would have let her. If she had asked for a rose in the garden, Carmilla would’ve given it to her. If Laura asked if she could leave the castle and go home… Carmilla would have let her go.
Laura didn’t ask for any of those things though.
“Just be at dinner tonight,” Laura said simply. “Then help me make a dessert.”
“That’s just not fair,” Carmilla whined jokingly. “You know that I can’t really taste food. It’ll just taste like rotten milk to me. At least what I think rotten milk tastes like. Why make something I can’t eat?”
“Because I can,” Laura sung out. “And it tastes wonderful.”
Laura paused and looked at her apologetically.
“I didn’t mean any offense by that Carm-“
“It’s alright creampuff,” Carmilla stopped her. “I can joke about it. I don’t mind that you joke about it. You… I know that you would never mean anything hurtful.”
Carmilla believed every word that came out of her mouth. She really didn’t find Laura’s words offensive at all. If she had, she would have said something. Laura didn’t joke about it like Carmilla was a terrible monster. She joked about it like she had accepted that it was a part of Carmilla and that she accepted Carmilla for who she was. Yeah, she really didn’t deserve this girl in her life. She couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Laura smiled at her.
“What if LaF said it?”
“First off,” Carmilla frowned. “They can’t taste anything at all so it wouldn’t work. Secondly, I would probably melt their own wax around them, sticking them to dining, unable to move.”
Laura raised her eyebrows.
“Carm,” she raised her voice, but was smiling. “That’s horrible!”
“Only joking cupcake,” Carmilla smiled back. “Kind of. It really wouldn’t be that bad, they love the dining room. I’d leave their hands free too. What else are they going? They haven’t done anything new in the past decade or so.”
Laura swatted her arm then crossed them in front of her. She was trying to put on her best serious face, which only made Carmilla want to laugh. It was too cute.
“No sticking LaF to the dining table with their own candle wax.”
Carmilla held up her hands defensively. Laura’s face was too cute in the moment for Carmilla to argue with her.
“Alright I won’t do that to LaFontaine…”
Laura nodded in victory.
“In this decade,” Carmilla added on quickly.
“Carm!” Laura swatted her other arm this time.
Laura’s swats felt like a fly landing on her arm, but she wasn’t about to tell her that. She just laughed with Laura. She wasn’t really joking about sticking LaFontaine to the dining table, but in all fairness, they really didn’t mind it. However, she had told Laura that she wouldn’t do it in this decade, and she was a woman of her word.
Their laughter died down and they sat for a moment in awkward silence. Carmilla was unsure of what to say, but maybe this was her cue to leave Laura to her food and books.
“Well,” Carmilla said. “I will leave you to your breakfast and your studies. Ummm.. Please let me know if there is anything else that you need. I will probably be in the library or the garden today.”
Carmilla was just about to turn around and leave, but a warm pair of arms enveloped her. Laura was hugging her. She rested her head gently on Carmilla’s shoulder.
It was such a foreign feeling to her. Even before the curse, Will was the only one that ever hugged her. It became less and less often as they got older until it was only a biannual thing.
Since the curse, she hadn’t been gently touched like this by another human being. It was the first time in almost two hundred and sixty years that someone had given her this type of contact. Her brain was short-circuiting. She couldn’t think.
Luckily her arms thought for her, wrapping themselves around Laura and hugging her back. She was warm. She was the sun and Carmilla was beginning to revolve around her.
“Thanks for breakfast Carm,” Laura whispered in her ear.
Laura squeezed a little tighter and lightly moved her head into the crook of Carmilla’s neck. She was the closest she had ever gotten. Carmilla’s brain still wasn’t working. Laura was all that she could think about.
Carmilla had never let herself smell Laura. She didn’t want to add another thing to the list of things that came to mind when she thought of Laura. However, she was so close that Carmilla couldn’t not smell her.
She guessed that if sunshine had a smell, it would be Laura. It was like… the beach and ocean waves. It was sweet and sensual. It was so unique. Even when Carmilla had visited town a few times many, many years ago she had never smelled anything like this.
Laura’s heartbeat was getting louder in her ears. It was still quick, pumping all the blood in her body. The natural smell of Laura was now starting to be replaced by something sweeter that made her mouth water.
Carmilla realized that she hadn’t had her breakfast yet and became very aware of the rising thirst. She needed to sate it sooner rather than later and she couldn’t have Laura this close feeling thirsty like she did.
Her initial reaction had been to shove Laura away, but she had to be careful. She didn’t want to scare Laura or risk hurting her. But she took a deep breath, trying to forget about the sweet smell of her blood and focus on what she naturally smelled like.
The smell of sunshine slowly blanketed her nose, veiling the smell of the thing that she craved for.
She wasn’t sure how much time had passed since Laura initiated the hug and even though she was out of practice when it came to human contact, she knew that this had to be a longer amount of time then deemed appropriate for a thank you. She didn’t mind though.
Finally, Carmilla had to pull away. Laura’s scent may have masked the smell of her blood and given her comfort, but it didn’t stop the burning in her throat.
It was odd though. Her throat was burning yet had absolutely no desire to sink her teeth in Laura. Even her natural animalistic side wasn’t anywhere near the point of dying to get the blood out the girl in front of her.
Carmilla pulled away and Laura moved her hands to rest on Carmilla’s arms. It was shocking to Carmilla that someone was making constant contact with her like this. Laura had touched her before, but not like this.
Before she could think about it any further, she gave Laura a smile that probably came off as a little confused. Maybe because she was. Not about Laura… maybe a little about Laura, but it wasn’t Laura herself. She was confused about her own feelings towards the girl.
“I’ll see you later Laura,” Carmilla managed to say calmly and walk casually out of the room.
She didn’t stay a moment longer to watch Laura’s reaction, but it didn’t stop her from listening to her heartbeat as she walked out of the room. It was pounding very quickly and very loudly in her chest.
After exited the room and closed the door behind her, her casual walk turned into a brisk one towards the kitchen. It was time for her breakfast, hoping that JP was prepared with it. She hadn’t been planning on asking JP for a double today, but she would this morning just to be on the safe side.
On her way to the kitchen, the only thing she could hear was Laura’s heartbeat in her ears and she could only smell sunshine in her nose.
You know they say about flying too close to the sun…