Chapter Text
Number 35
Harry did not consider himself a coward, yet he had to admit that for the days after his meeting with McGonagall he did act like a coward, at least a little bit.
He did not tell Ron and Hermione about the decision he’d made.
Harry tried to, several times, but every time he did the words got stuck in his throat somewhere and he eventually gave up trying. It was one thing to tell his friends that one day in the distant future he’d be moving to New York permanently. But it was another thing altogether to tell them Harry was leaving them for good by the end of the school year.
The whole blasted issue weighed heavily on Harry’s mind and when even writing about it in his journal didn’t help he texted Bucky about it. Bucky was usually calm and level-headed and capable of understanding what sort of relationship Harry had with Ron and Hermione, because Bucky had a similar relationship with Steve. They were more than friends, something closer to brothers, who’d been by each other’s side through thick and thin. Rather like Harry and his friends in many ways, except where Bucky and Steve had fought side by side in World War Two, Harry and his friends had found themselves defying Voldemort’s latest schemes more than once.
Spending time together in mortal peril created bonds that were much closer than any sort of casual friendship, Harry was sure.
As expected, Bucky cut right to the chase when Harry texted him what was going on.
Bucky: what are you really afraid of?
Harry: Dunno. Worried I’ll lose them I guess
Bucky: if theyre your friends you wont lose them
Harry: I suppose. Still worried though. What if they hate me?
Bucky: then theyre morons. youre very likable
Harry: haha, thnx. Going to bed now.
Bucky: just tell them!!!!
Harry: soon. Promise. Night!
Bucky: sleep tight
Unfortunately, Bucky’s impromptu pep talk wasn’t quite enough to give Harry the courage to share the news just yet. They had a Hogsmeade weekend coming up and Harry figured he didn’t want to spoil that for himself and his friends by dropping the bomb right before their day off in the village. He told Bucky as much the next day when the man asked if Harry had bit the bullet yet. When Harry confessed his plan to wait until after the weekend, Bucky had been surprisingly brief and dismissive in his response. Harry wondered if Bucky was having a bad day, which still happened to him from time to time, even though on the whole Bucky was doing far better than he had in a long time.
As Harry walked down to Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione he felt a certain sense of melancholia. This wasn’t the final Hogsmeade weekend of the year, as it was only the end of February, but since Harry had made his decision he noticed that it often felt as though he was already saying goodbye to the things around him. Walking down the cobblestone path through the gates of Hogwarts certainly gave Harry a feeling as though he should be taking everything in with all his senses, lest he forget it in the years to come.
Harry was so focused on greedily drinking in every detail of his trek to Hogsmeade that he almost missed the broad, tall figure standing in the middle of the street right at the beginning of Hogsmeade.
“Who is that?” Ron asked, eyes widening as he took in the imposing figure in a leather jacket.
“Huh.” Harry blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. “That’s Bucky.”
“Bucky?” Hermione asked, giving Harry a confused look. “You mean Bucky Barnes? The Winter Soldier?”
“That’s the one,” Harry said, quickening his pace a little while giving Bucky a huge grin. It was really good to see his friend again, even if it had only been barely two months since they’d last seen each other in the flesh. “Hi!”
“Hey.” Bucky offered Harry a lopsided smile and pulled him in a quick hug. While pressing his face against Harry’s head, Bucky whispered, “I figured I’d come give you some moral support for your talk with your friends.”
“You know this guy?” Ron asked Hermione while looking between his two best friends. “I know Harry talks about him,” Ron quickly explained when Hermione gave him a disbelieving look, “but I hadn’t realized you knew him as well.”
“Know of him,” Hermione corrected while she rolled her eyes. “He’s part of the Avengers.”
“Not officially,” Bucky said, releasing a rather flustered Harry. “I join up with them from time to time on certain missions but I haven’t quite been cleared yet to work full-time.”
“How come?” Ron asked with all his usual tact.
Bucky gave Ron a level stare. “Because I was brainwashed for seventy years while the enemy used me as an assassin. I’m still learning not to kill people willy nilly.”
Ron ducked his head, cheeks flushing while Harry couldn’t bite back a burst of laughter.
Harry could hardly believe Bucky was there, out in the open. In the past Bucky had snuck into Hogwarts plenty of time to check up on Harry, mostly because Loki asked him to, but Bucky always made sure he wasn’t seen by anyone, even Harry, during those trips. But here Bucky was, standing in the middle of the street where everyone could see him, and he seemed perfectly at ease doing so.
Bucky really had been making a lot of progress, Harry thought with a warm flush that coursed through his entire body before making his cheeks heat up. “It’s good to see you,” Harry said, because he wanted Bucky to know he really was happy to see his friend. “I’m glad you came.”
“Sure,” Bucky grunted, sticking his hands in his pockets while giving a stiff little shrug. “Anytime.”
Now that Bucky was here, Harry really had no more excuses to postpone his talk with Ron and Hermione. He was well aware of that. With a sigh, Harry turned to look at his oldest friends. “How about we go get some butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks? My treat.”
“Is something wrong?” Hermione asked, narrowing her eyes as she stared at Harry. She always had been quite perceptive, after all.
“Let’s go to the Three Broomsticks first.” Harry gestured for everyone to follow him and Bucky immediately fell into step with him while Ron and Hermione hurried after them. Students around them gave Bucky curious looks, since he was tall and broad and obviously dressed like a muggle. Bucky’s ever-present scowl, or ‘resting bitch face’ as Tony liked to call it, kept anyone from approaching them, though.
The pub wasn’t too crowded yet since it was early still, and Harry had no trouble securing them a quiet table in the back. He quickly went to the bar and brought back four warm mugs of butterbeer.
“What did you want to talk about?” Hermione asked after they’d all taken a sip of their mugs.
Harry cast a quick glance at Bucky, who only nodded in response, before he focused his attention on Hermione. “During my career talk with McGonagall I’ve told her I was withdrawing from Hogwarts starting next year,” Harry blurted while his shoulders tightened with tension.
Hermione, as expected, didn’t look very surprised, but Ron puffed up with obvious anger. “Harry! You can’t do that, mate!”
“Yeah, I can.” Harry gave Ron a sympathetic look, understanding perfectly why Ron would feel rather peeved about the whole thing.
“But what about Quidditch?” Ron asked helplessly, face going through all sorts of expressions ranging from grief to betrayal.
“Really?” Hermione turned in her seat to glare at Ron. “Harry’s moving away forever and you’re worried about Quidditch?”
Harry shared an amused little smile with Bucky while Hermione and Ron bickered for a few minutes about whether or not Ron was an insensitive lout by prioritizing Quidditch. Harry honestly didn’t think so, but Hermione had plenty of arguments ready to prove him wrong.
Eventually they got back on topic, though, and Ron looked absolutely miserable as he stared at Harry. “I suppose Hogwarts has lost its novelty and you’re now ready to move on to more interesting things.”
Sighing, Harry shook his head. He did not want to hurt Ron and Hermione in any way, but he knew he had to take care of himself first. Too long Harry had prioritized others over himself, which wasn’t healthy in the long run. “Ron, I’m not even a wizard.”
“Whut?” Ron’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open.
“I only ended up in the wizarding world because I’ve got a grandfather who kidnapped me and dumped me on James and Lily Potter’s laps,” Harry said, trying not to sound too callous. “I love the wizarding world, I really do, but I don’t belong here. Not really. It’s time for me to live with my own people.”
Hermione nodded in understanding, though she also looked like was suddenly overcome with grief. “I understand, Harry. I don’t like it, but I understand.” She gave Harry a wobbly smile. “Just promise you’ll stay in touch.”
“I promise,” Harry said quickly. “I’ve already got Tony to agree to make a few more phones we can use.”
“I get it,” Ron finally said, gaze fixed on the table. “I really don’t like it, but I get it. I just…” Without saying another word, Ron got up from the table and walked away.
For a few moments, Hermione looked torn about what to do, so Harry waved her away. “Go, keep him company. I’ve got Bucky.” That was enough for Hermione to jump up and hurry after Ron.
“That went well,” Bucky said while he looked at the two abandoned mugs of butterbeer.
“Actually, that went a lot better than I’d expected,” Harry replied while giving Bucky a cheerful smile. “Ron looked like he’ll come around soon enough, and that’s more than he managed last year when my name came out of the Goblet of Fire and he shunned me for weeks and weeks.”
Bucky looked like he had a few things to say about that, but in the end he just shook his head and sipped his mug. “This stuff’s pretty good.”
“Yeah,” Harry sighed and drained his own mug. “I’m going to miss it.” Having Bucky there had been a huge help, Harry realized. Even though Bucky hadn’t interfered, he’d still been a quiet strength sitting right beside Harry and that had made all the difference in the end. “Thanks again for coming. I really appreciate it.”
Bucky finished his own butterbeer with a large gulp and gave Harry an expectant look. “How about you show me around town? I’ve only ever been here at night and all the stores were closed then.”
“Sure!” Harry jumped up, suddenly full of nervous flutters at the idea of spending the day with Bucky in Hogsmeade, almost as though they were on a date. But that was absurd, Harry quickly told himself. They were friends. Very good friends, who supported each other when the other needed it. And that was more than enough for Harry.
They visited just about every shop in town and Bucky took it all in with his usual scowl, which still kept everyone at bay. There were plenty of students who gave Harry and his strange companion curious looks but none dared approach them, which was fine by Harry. Bucky enjoyed Honeydukes the most, Harry was sure, and even let Harry buy him an assortment of chocolate bars to take home with him. They shared one bar between them as they wandered around the busy streets.
“How did you even get here so quickly?” Harry asked right before they entered the Three Broomsticks again, now to have lunch.
“Took a Quinjet,” Bucky said without a hint of concern. “I wasn’t officially given leave to do so, but I figured it was better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” Bucky shrugged and then gave Harry a brief but razor sharp grin. “Besides, I’ll just tell your mother I came here to assist you and he’ll make sure Tony doesn’t crawl up my ass about it.”
Chuckling, Harry shook his head and looked up at Bucky with incredible fondness. In some ways it was really strange to have Bucky there, in the flesh, sharing Harry’s life in the wizarding world with him if only for a day. But on the other hand Harry was immensely grateful and happy that he could share Hogsmeade with Bucky. Spending the day with him like that was more fun than Harry could have imagined, even though Bucky was in many ways the strong, silent type who preferred to let Harry do most of the talking.
As they sat down for a lunch of shepherd’s pie, Harry gave Bucky an uncertain look. “If you don’t get into too much trouble for nicking the Quinjet, maybe you can do it again next month for our next Hogsmeade weekend.”
“Sure,” Bucky agreed easily enough, but Harry could tell by the warmth in his eyes that Bucky seemed genuinely pleased with Harry’s invitation. “But we’ve still got the afternoon here.”
“We’ll walk to the Shrieking Shack after lunch,” Harry said while giving Bucky an eager look. Sharing all the things you liked with someone you liked was a really nice experience as it turned out. “People think it’s haunted because they heard lots of strange noises coming from it in the past, but that was just a werewolf student who transformed there every full moon.”
Bucky quirked a single eyebrow before nodding. “Sounds like fun.”
“Yeah,” Harry agreed, basking in the warm glow that hadn’t really left him ever since Bucky had shown up. He might be losing Ron and Hermione in a way, but he got people like Bucky for it in return, and Harry figured that it was a pretty good exchange in the end.