Chapter Text
“Def, def, def, def.”
Harry can’t help snickering as Teddy chants Death’s name over and over again, lisping a bit with his new teeth getting in the way.
Sirius and Tonks seem to find Teddy’s obsession with Death just as amusing as he does but Remus looks more worried by the day.
“I’m not certain we should continue humoring him.”
Harry shrugs.
“Up to you. We can tell him Death is busy if you like. Just maybe avoid telling him what he’s busy doing I suppose.”
Teddy falls silent, staring around, obviously waiting for Death to show up. Apparently he’s starting to figure out the being only shows up when Harry says his name. Harry frowns at him and Remus confirms.
“He knows Death is connected to you. Hasn’t asked for him once this week until you arrived.”
Which means it’ll be on him to upset the boy by telling him he can’t visit with his friend anymore. Harry can’t help grimacing and Remus sighs, granting.
“Can’t hurt to let him say goodbye I suppose.”
He has a feeling it won’t make this any easier but he’s not about to argue.
“Death?”
The being is there before he can even finish speaking, a looming figure, dark as the abyss and still as the grave, a figure which should give pause to anyone and yet Teddy squeals with excitement and rushes over to Death, tugging at his robe and demanding to be picked up.
Death doesn’t move for a moment, seems almost as disquieted by the boy’s enthusiasm as Remus is, and then he slowly reaches down and scoops the boy up in his skeletal hands.
Death turns to him, firmly ignoring the way Teddy slides a finger in one of his eye sockets, trying to reach the glow within. There’s a hint of reproach in his voice as he murmurs.
“A being such as I does not generally play nursemaid.”
Harry shrugs easily.
“Maybe your next master will be a more demanding sort but this is all I need from you right now.”
Death sighs, long and dramatically, windows shaking from the being’s quiet exhale, and Teddy giggles happily.
~~~~~~
It becomes such a routine thing Death no longer waits for him to summon him for Teddy. A fact which Remus finds very hard to accept.
“I found them whispering together in Teddy’s bedroom last night. It was three in the bloody morning, Harry. This has to stop.”
He probably shouldn’t find it so funny but he can’t help laughing. He sobers quickly at Remus’ tired look.
“What were they whispering about?”
Remus sighs before admitting.
“Apparently Teddy was worried Death was lonely. I don’t know where he thinks the being goes when he isn’t playing companion to a five year old but Teddy insisted on giving him a bracelet he made so he’d remember him.”
He frowns at the man and Remus grimaces, looking almost shamed.
“I think he might’ve overheard Tonks and I talking. I know you think I’m overprotective but it’s hardly a normal friendship and I worry he’ll scare off his other friends if he doesn’t grow out of this soon. I wasn’t suggesting barring Death from visiting...but Teddy took it that way.”
“I get it. I really do. Friends are important and no matter how close they might be Teddy needs more than one friend.”
“But chasing his closest friend away would be worse than doing nothing. I know. I hadn’t meant for him to overhear.”
Harry nods easily and then smiles when he catches sight of Teddy in the garden out back, Death following the boy down one of the paths, arms full of a pile of sticks.
“Looks like they’re building something.”
Remus follows his line of sight and shakes his head, smiling rather fondly.
“I shouldn’t complain, should I? Odd as it is he is a good friend to the boy. He could do far worse.”
“And it doesn’t hurt knowing he has Death watching out for him either.”
“There is that. I still worry, but I imagine I’d worry far more if he didn’t have such a powerful friend always a breath away.”
~~~~~~
Harry leans back against his husband, well, one of them, and watches with amusement as Teddy drags Death around by the hand, intent on introducing him to the few people in attendance who haven’t yet met his friend.
Most of them look like they wish he wouldn’t and Harry finds it far more amusing than he really should.
“You know I thought he’d grow out of it by now, or that Death would stop humoring him.”
Severus snorts, nodding toward the pair as Death conjures a black rose to hand to Hermione’s latest girlfriend. The woman looks like she doesn’t know whether to accept it or flee.
“I do believe he’s enjoying himself.”
Teddy begins explaining, too far away for them to hear but it’s always obvious when he’s talking about Death. His hair changes from a mousy brown to pitch black as the boy gestures enthusiastically, no doubt telling her about last weekend, him and Death spending all day playing with the kittens he’d found huddled in the garden shed. The kittens he’s now begging to keep.
It’s endearing the way Teddy’s so convinced everyone else will love his friend too if they just take the time to get to know him, and a bit disheartening the way almost no one is willing to give Death a chance. Not that Harry can blame them exactly. Even he finds the being unnerving sometimes and he doesn’t exactly have to worry about Death showing up for him. Still, it’s obvious how much it bothers Teddy, the boy offended on behalf of his friend, and Harry feels for him. Not like he doesn’t know what it’s like, everyone flinching away from someone you care about.
“Thinking about Tom, where has he got to?”
Severus nods toward the far end of the garden and Harry laughs when he sees the problem, Arthur having cornered the man again to ask about some muggle object. As always Tom looks like he isn’t sure whether to be annoyed or flattered at being seen as an expert on muggles.
~~~~~~
He’s just settling onto Tom’s lap when Severus comes striding into Tom’s office, stealing a quick kiss from them both before murmuring.
“Minerva would like a word again.”
Harry groans as he takes the letter from Severus, scanning over it and sighing.
“I told the boy not to summon Death during class time. Three times. I told him three times to try and make sure he listened.”
Tom tugs the letter from his hand and tosses it aside.
“Maybe try telling Death next time. For now if we could return to what we’d been doing...”
~~~~~~
Teddy isn’t sure why he’s so nervous. He always loves it when he has something new to share with Death. At least when it’s good news. And he thinks this is good. It felt good earlier anyway. But the longer he sits here in the Great Hall, waiting impatiently for dinner to be over so he can go for a walk and summon his friend, the more hesitant he feels about telling him at all.
By the time dinner’s over he’s half convinced he shouldn’t say anything, but he’s never kept anything from his friend before and the very idea of keeping it secret feels wrong, like it’s something shameful. Still, when he finally makes his way outside he waits until he’s well away from the castle before asking Death to join him, and he doesn’t bring it up right away.
They walk in silence for a bit, Death always perfectly happy keeping quiet. One of the many things he loves about him. Mostly because it means he can chatter on without worrying about annoying the being but also...everyone else always takes the opportunity to tease him in those rare times when he’s quiet, only Death lets him be both his usual talkative self and quiet without feeling the need to chide him for either. Well, only Death and...
“There’s a girl. In Ravenclaw. We met a few days ago while I was studying for that Herbology essay that was giving me so much grief.”
Death nods slowly, saying nothing as usual, letting him speak at his own pace. For once Teddy wishes he wouldn’t. Right now he’d love an interruption or two. Or ten.
“We’ve been studying together ever since. She said her friends talk too much while she’s trying to study and she likes my company better. Which makes no sense. You know me, I can never stop myself commenting every little random thought that pops into my head. But she said she likes my chatter. And she...”
He hesitates, the words feeling wrong somehow. The moment still feels right in a way but also wrong now too. Although he doesn’t know how or why.
“She said she likes me. And she kissed me.”
He stops in the middle of the path, staring up at Death’s glowing eyes, looking for...he doesn’t know what.
Death stares back evenly, saying nothing for a long moment and then murmuring.
“You aren’t too young for such things?”
His face goes hot and Teddy knows he’s gone mousy brown again, the embarrassment washing over him like a tide and sending his features back to default in the process. He forces his hair black again while grumbling.
“It was just a kiss. And I’m almost fourteen.”
Death hums, the sound felt more than heard, a rumbling deep in his chest that never fails to make him smile.
“Then I do not see why you are asking me for permission.”
“I wasn’t...”
He trails off, suddenly unsure. Maybe he was at that. At least if Death didn’t want him spending time with her he wouldn’t even hesitate to listen to the being. Death knows him better than anyone. He trusts Death more than he trusts himself about this and everything else.
“I...I know you said you won’t tell me about the future but...”
Death cuts across him, a trace of amusement in his voice.
“But you’re going to ask me anyway.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I just...it feels wrong to spend time with someone without asking if it’s going to last. It’d be kinder to stop it now if it has to end, right?”
“The future is changeable, Teddy. And just because something ends, even if it ends far sooner than one might prefer, doesn’t make it worth any less.”
There’s something almost somber in Death’s tone and Teddy frowns up at the being in question. Death says nothing but the glow of his eyes shines brighter for a moment, the being amused somehow. Death changes the subject before he can ask about it.
~~~~~~
It isn’t until his graduation that Teddy realizes why he’s been feeling the way he has. Months of steadily growing disquiet finally resolve into a shape he can see in his mind and he feels like a damned fool. For feeling the way he is, for worrying about it, he’s not sure. Both maybe.
He stares out at the crowd of parents and loved ones, seeing none of them. He knows well his own parents are in the crowd. His fathers, his mum, but he can’t tear his eyes away from the being standing at the very edge of the room, all but hidden in shadow.
The rest of the ceremony passes in a blur and he makes his way down into the crowd without really thinking about what he’s doing. His mum tugs him into a hug as he gets close, both his fathers joining in, and for one awful moment he loses sight of Death. He’s half convinced the being will have disappeared once he has a clear line of sight again but he’s still there, still standing perfectly still, glowing eyes unreadable from this distance. They seem brighter than usual but it’s probably just the fact the being is standing in shadow.
Teddy does his best to hide his distraction, smiling and nodding as his parents alternately tease and congratulate him, but it doesn’t take long before they realize his mind is elsewhere. His mum pulls him into another quick hug before nudging him toward the doors.
“Go on. Go visit with your friends. We’ll see you when you get home. But don’t stay too late, we’ve got a whole celebration planned.”
He doesn't argue, slipping into the crowd and making his way toward Death. He’s not sure what he’s expecting really but Death holds out his hand without a word, letting himself be pulled toward the doors.
There’s a crowd in the entry hall as well by now, no one wanting to head out into the rain, so Teddy pulls Death down the hall and away from everyone.
They end up in an abandoned classroom, sitting on desks near a window. It’s gloomy enough that for once Death doesn’t look out of place, the impossible blackness of his cloak just another shadow in the dim room.
Teddy can’t speak at first, and he knows he doesn’t need to. He slides his fingers between the smooth bone of Death’s own and stares up at the being, silently asking if he’s being a fool.
Death hums an odd note, not quite pleased, more thoughtful.
“You realize what I am.”
A breath shudders out of him, almost a laugh. And then he does laugh, because yeah, the longer he thinks about it the madder it seems. And at the same time it feels nothing but right in a way he can’t quite define.
“Old as the universe and young as a newly lit flame. That’s how you described it once, when I was little.”
“Mm, because for me all times are as one.”
Which is Death’s way of saying he always knew this was coming. And suddenly all those past moments make a lot more sense.
“You never tried to push me away because you knew it wouldn’t work, you knew this would happen...”
Death cuts across him, voice somehow lower than normal.
“Did happen, is happening, would happen, yes. All times are one.”
He nods jerkily, trying and mostly failing to understand how that’s even possible. How could someone hold that much time in their mind without going mad? He shakes that off, actually shaking his head, as if he can force away all the reasons why this is a terrible idea.
“Doesn’t matter. I just meant...you always seemed like you were holding yourself apart. Like you were...not hoping I’d forget about you but like you’d accept it if I did. Like you wanted to be sure I knew it was my choice, our friendship, all of it. I always knew if I wanted I could simply stop calling for you and I’d never see you again. It terrified me when I was little, always half convinced I’d never see you again each time you left.”
“I never left. I’m always here.”
“I know that now but I didn’t then.”
He stops, thinking about that for a moment, the fact Death is always here, even when he doesn’t seem to be.
“You must find it so annoying, me always narrating the events of the day when you were here for it all.”
“Not at all. I enjoy seeing how you describe things, find it endlessly interesting which things you decide worth sharing.”
Teddy nods slowly, unable to argue. Not like he doesn’t know what that’s like. Some people are just like that, even when you know the story by heart you still want to hear them tell it again.
He turns their joined hands over, fingers stroking the delicate bones.
“Why do you appear this way?”
A question he’s asked before but not one he’s ever gotten a satisfying answer for. Death doesn’t answer at first, lifting his free hand and curling a finger around a lock of his hair, pulling it down far enough for him to see it. Teddy blushes a bit when he realizes he’s let it go black again.
“I could ask you the same.”
“I, it...It just kind of happens. And you know why. Because I like you.”
And the words are out, hanging in the air between them, waiting for a response.
Death hums again, an edge of what might be happiness to it or might just as easily be amusement.
“Perhaps I do it for the same reason.”
He frowns and Death chuckles, adding.
“Difficult to hold a conversation with something without form. And a skeleton is simply the closest I can come to an honest portrayal of what I am.”
He can’t argue with that and he doesn’t really want to. Odd as he knows it is he doesn’t want Death to look or feel different. If he made himself look human, or more alive rather, he wouldn’t look like himself.
There’s a tension in the air that’s never been there before when he’s with Death, or not tension but rather a sense of expectation. He knows what’s going to happen next as if he himself was the one who knew the future as readily as he knows the present. He realizes only now that this moment has been a long time coming, an inevitability ever since he met the being. And at the same time he has a choice, has always had a choice.
“The future is changeable. You told me that a few different times, when I kept asking you what would happen.”
And then tried to explain but all the explanation did was confuse him more. I mean how can you know the future, experience it at the same time as the present and the past, if it can and does change? He’s never going to understand that.
Death hums a question, as if he doesn’t already know what he means, as if he hasn’t already heard the answer in the future, and Teddy smiles.
“I can’t tell if you do that for my sake or if it’s simply the way this has to work. You can’t know what I’m about to say if I never actually say it after all. Still, it feels like you do it for me, pretending to be more human than you are. And I was trying to ask if you really want this too. Because it won’t last, not from your perspective.”
“And I told you once that just because something ends far sooner than we’d prefer doesn’t make it worth any less.”
He makes a small sound, having all but forgotten that conversation. He remembers all at once, that first kiss and how nervous it made him, both in the moment and then later, half convinced Death would be annoyed at him for liking someone else.
“I think I liked you even then, but didn’t notice. Too used to you always being here. I sort of took you for granted.”
He doesn’t apologize, knowing it isn’t needed, knowing well Death would never hold it against him, instead he finally gives in to the inevitable and rises, settling onto the desk beside Death, leaning into his side.
Death slides an arm around his waist and laces their fingers together, humming a pleased note, and the two of them sit together in silence, perfectly content.
~~~~~~
“Death?”
He could swear the being had been right beside him not half a moment ago. Teddy frowns at the place he’d just been and then smiles when he catches sight of him down by the hedge at the far end of the garden.
He’s crouched low, hand outstretched toward something hidden under the bushes. Teddy smiles when he gets near enough to see what it is.
“Always making new friends.”
Death hesitates, which is odd enough in itself, and then he turns to him with eyes uncharacteristically dim. Teddy makes a small sound of understanding as he kneels next to Death.
“They’re dying.”
Death nods slowly, finger bones carding through the cat’s hair, smoothing it back from its small face, the cat leaning into the touch.
“She’ll live a few minutes longer.”
He hums his understanding, taking Death’s free hand and holding it tight, as if trying to comfort the being. He knows Death hardly needs it. If anyone would know death isn’t something to be feared it would be Death himself. But still, just at this moment he can’t help wanting to comfort all three of them, the cat, Death, and himself.
The cat is obviously old, has more grey than black on her face and neck, but even so it’s never easy seeing someone slip away into darkness, and he can’t help wondering what it must be, to be this for everyone all of the time. Every death, no matter how small and unremarked upon. An existence of nothing but endings.
Death hums, as if he said the words aloud.
“A thing with no ending can have no beginning.”
Teddy nods easily, as if he understands that, knowing well the explanation would only confuse him more, and Death chuckles.
“You asked me once if I could choose, who lives, who dies, and when those deaths occur.”
“And you said you couldn’t.”
“Mm. But I didn’t explain why, or rather how I could not. I am a powerful being, Teddy. I could change things if I wanted, if I dared. But life springs from death. The living die to make way for others, generations without ending, and to prevent that would be...”
Death shrugs rather than elaborate further and Teddy nods, thinking he understands now, somewhat at least, but he can’t resist pointing out.
“You’ve changed things in the past. You helped Uncle Harry.”
Death laughs, nodding easily.
“What use are rules if we don’t break them occasionally?”
Teddy smiles, even as he shakes his head at the being, and they both go still as the cat twitches violently.
Teddy reaches for his wand, giving Death a look. Death nods easily, skeletal hand pointing to a place just below the cat’s ribcage.
“Just here.”
He casts a quick numbing charm and his chest loosens as the cat relaxes once more.
“How much longer?”
“About half a minute.”
He nods silently and neither of them say anything else as they watch the cat take her last few breaths. Each breath comes slower and slower and it takes a moment before he realizes it’s over, that that last breath had been the last.
And suddenly he realizes just what’s been bothering him this whole time.
“You didn’t say anything. You slipped away, obviously wanting me to come see this, but you didn’t just ask?”
Death would’ve been here either way, he only came here in the flesh, or bone as it were, because he wanted him to come here too.
Death shrugs.
“I knew you’d come find me and this way you were able to finish your conversation with your mother.”
He can’t really argue with that, but he still doesn’t understand why he wanted him here for this. Death’s eyes glow brighter for a moment and he adds, hand smoothing over the cat’s fur one last time.
“She gave birth to your cats.”
He makes a small sound of understanding, although he isn’t sure how to feel about that. He’s glad he was here and able to soothe her pain in those final moments but now he’s even more sad that she’s dead.
He shakes that off, picking up the poor thing and cradling her body in his arms.
“We should bury her. And I think I’m always going to hate death.”
“I am death.”
Death sounds so disgruntled he can’t help laughing.
“And I love you anyway.”