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The first time he talks about it is around the time Alex comes out to them.
It’s weird, because Alex is the first openly gay person Reggie has ever known. In fact, Alex is the first person he knows to use the word “gay” without using it as an insult. The first person who has talked about it as though it’s not something diseased, or disgusting, or shameful. It’s definitely a strange concept to get used to—that being gay can be a good thing.
All that aside, Alex is still the same Alex—he just happens to like guys. Things in their group go on as they always have, but there has been a small shift: they’re all much closer now. There’s a new level of trust between them, now that they all share this special piece of information, and that new level of trust means that they all open up to each other a little more. Bobby talks more about his girlfriend. Luke talks more about his mom. Reggie talks more about his parents.
Maybe that’s why he decides to talk to Alex about this.
They’re hanging out in the garage, just the two of them. Bobby is out on a date, and Luke is stuck at school in detention (“Okay, maybe I was writing lyrics in class, but they were good lyrics. This song is gonna be way more useful than Algebra anyway”). Alex is sitting on one end of their old couch, playing Super Mario World, while Reggie sits on the other end and riffs on his bass. Things are quiet for a while, and then Reggie bites:
“Hey, Alex?”
“Yeah?” he says absent-mindedly, fiddling with the Nintendo.
“How did you know you were gay?”
Alex pauses the game. He turns his head to look at Reggie, who, uncomfortable with the sudden attention, stops playing with his instrument. His face goes a little pink. Maybe that had been the wrong thing to say.
“Just—uh—curious. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
Alex looks stunned for a moment, and then shakes his head. “No, no, it’s okay. Just—hmm.” He furrows his brow, concentrating. “Um, I don’t really know.”
“What do you mean? How do you not know?”
“Well, I mean, think about it. How do you know you’re straight?”
Reggie was startled by that. He had never thought about it that way before.
Did he like girls?
Yeah, he did. Because Anna from English class was really pretty. And he’d had a big crush on Jennifer when they were lab partners in eighth grade. And he always liked watching the cheerleaders perform at football games, in their short skirts and ponytails. Yes, girls were pretty great. They were sweet and fun and kind, and some of them were pretty funny. He liked girls.
But what about guys?
Because it wasn’t like some guys weren’t pretty too. Or sweet, or kind, or funny. And Reggie could appreciate a great guy. Like, people were always talking about how much they liked Luke. And that made sense, because Luke was charming, and confident, and he had nice brown hair and cute hazel eyes—and that was what everyone said, and of course Reggie could see it too. And when he walked down the hallway and saw Lucas Coelho wearing his tight jeans, he could see how girls would like that. It’s not like he was blind. And sometimes, when the cheerleaders performed, he found himself looking at the guy cheerleaders too, and not just the girls. But that was only natural, because they all performed together.
And that was how everyone saw things, right? Anyone could see when someone was attractive. Hell, Alex was gay, and he knew when a girl was pretty. Girls had their girl crushes, and guys had their guy crushes—it was just a thing. And Reggie had plenty of guy crushes (though he didn’t really talk about them too much).
“…Reggie?”
Caught up in his thoughts, Reggie realizes he still hasn’t given Alex an answer.
How do you know you’re straight?
“I guess I don’t really know either.”
And with that, Reggie picks up his bass again and plucks at a few strings. He suddenly doesn’t feel like talking about this anymore.
He doesn’t notice Alex’s gaze lingering on him.
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The second time he talks about it, he’s with Luke. They’re waiting in the crowded line at Tony’s, picking up pizza for their jam session with the band later. People are talking all around them, but there’s an awkward silence between the two of them as they wait. Reggie, feeling uncomfortable, randomly blurts out:
“So, how are things going with you and Alex?”
It comes out casually, but Reggie cannot believe he just said that. Out of all the random conversation topics in the world, he chooses the fact that his two best friends are secretly dating. This is probably what people mean when they say he has no filter.
Luke whips his head around to look at Reggie, eyes wide. “Wh-what? Me and… It’s going normal. Normally. You know.”
Reggie has to hold back a laugh, it’s so funny. Luke has always been a shit liar.
He almost pushes it, but then considers that maybe Luke isn’t ready to talk about it. So he just says, “Okay.”
“He, uh, he wants to put a drum solo in “Take it Back.” So, uh, that’s cool. Wait, why are you—oh.”
Luke slumps down sheepishly in realization. He seems a little upset, which is dumb, Reggie thinks, because he totally doesn’t care that Luke and Alex are together. It’s been obvious for a while now. He just wants his friends to know that they can tell him anything. Surely, they know that—right?
“It’s cool, I’m happy for you guys. I just… you guys know I’m here for you no matter what, right?”
Luke straightens up a little bit, hearing that.
“Thanks, Reg. It’s just, we didn’t want to mess anything up with the band. And I…”
He glances around nervously at the crowd around them before taking a deep breath.
“I still haven’t figured out what this all means for me, you know? Whatever—um, whatever this is, I—it’s confusing. Because I always just assumed I was—Um. Yeah. But I also don’t think I’m—well, you know. So. Do you know what I mean?”
Reggie almost hugs Luke right there in the pizzeria.
YES! Yes, oh my god, yes, I know exactly what you mean. Oh my god, I thought it was just me. Yes, yes, yes. YES.
Instead, he just nods casually and says, “Yeah.”
He wants so badly to open up to Luke about all of this, about how he’s been feeling, but he has no idea how to do it. They’re out in the open, in public, and frankly it’s only because the pizzeria is so crowded that this conversation is okay at all. And aside from all of that, Luke just basically came out to him. This is his moment, not Reggie’s.
Luke goes on, speaking more quietly now.
“I just feel like… people are people, you know? Why should it matter? Like, if I like you, I like you. Regardless of—whatever. I don’t care. Why do people care so much?”
Reggie shrugs. “I dunno. But, if it works for you,” he pauses, giving Luke a meaningful look, “It works for me.”
Luke smiles at him, that 100-dollar smile all the girls gush over. “Thanks, man. You’re the best.”
He pulls him into a brief side-hug, and then they move up in line.
Reggie feels lighter after that.
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The whole dying-and-becoming-a-ghost thing sort of throws a wrench in Reggie’s thoughts about his sexuality. Suddenly, they’re dead, and then they’re ghosts, and then they’ve got a new band with Julie, and there’s a Hollywood Ghost Club, and, well, there’s just a lot going on. Whatever thoughts Reggie’s been having get pushed to the back of his brain as he, Alex, and Luke try to navigate this new world.
But boy, do those thoughts come back.
He and Alex are teasing Luke about Julie—seriously, this kid is not subtle—and then suddenly, Luke is staring him down, singing, with those big beautiful eyes, and Reggie honestly thinks he might fall over. Luke grabs his neck to steady him, and Reggie isn’t even sure if that’s helping him stand or making things worse, and maybe he should just kiss him, right here—
“Wow. I see chemistry.”
Right. This isn’t about Luke’s eyes, or his lips, or making out with Luke. This is a stupid bet. He should just brush it off, say something about how Luke is right, and move on—
“That was pretty hot.”
Okay, so that was not what he was supposed to say. His voice squeaks when he says it, and he can feel his face going red, and oh god, he better not be getting the semi he thinks he’s getting. It’s time to end this.
He clears his throat. “Girls, am I right?”
“Yeah,” Luke grins, giving him a look that is definitely not helping.
“No,” says Alex, laughing, and then they mercifully get back to jamming without another word about it.
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That doesn’t mean Reggie stops thinking about it, though.
That night, as he’s attempting to sleep (or something, he’s not even sure if ghosts really sleep) all he can think about is that moment with Luke. He wanted to kiss him, really wanted to kiss him, and he can’t deny that attraction anymore. It’s not like anything would happen between the two of them anyway—Luke likes Julie—but it still bothers him. Does this mean he’s gay? That can’t be right, because he still likes girls. He thinks back to Dirty Candy’s performance at Julie’s school a few weeks back: there was no denying his feelings then, either. So, what did that mean? Was he just straight, and fooling himself? No, he couldn’t be straight, he wanted to kiss a guy earlier today. How do people know they’re straight, anyway? How do people know they’re gay? What the hell was wrong with him?
Reggie feels like his head is spinning. He needs to think some things through, get some answers, or he’ll never get any rest. He considers bothering Alex, but Alex won’t understand—he has never liked girls, and he had told them that when he came out. Luke might understand—in fact, Reggie is pretty sure Luke feels the exact same way—but Luke doesn't seem to have any answers, and that's what Reggie is looking for.
And then he has an idea.
Any time Julie wanted to prove something to the boys, she would always whip out her phone or her computer and go on the Internet. The Internet told them about how they died, it told them about Bobby… maybe it could tell him about this.
The great thing about being a ghost is, he doesn’t even have to sneak out of the garage. He just poofs right into Julie’s bedroom.
Thankfully, Julie’s not in there, but Reggie knows he’ll need to work fast if he’s going to use her computer without being caught. It’s right on her bed, which is perfect—perfect if he can figure out what to do with it, that is. He knows there’s a way to open it and turn it on, but how? Is there a button or something? Right now, it’s like he’s staring at a metal block with some stickers on it. Where does this thing open?
He tries picking the computer up, but it goes right through his hands. Okay, so maybe this wasn’t the most thought out plan.
A few tries later, he’s succeeded, but he’s too late: “Reggie?”
Crap. Reggie loses his grip on the computer, and it falls back down onto Julie’s bed. Busted.
“What are you doing? I thought I told you guys not to go in my room.”
“Sorry! I, um, I just need to use your computer.”
She sees the worry on his face and softens a little bit.
“Oh. Uh, okay. What’s going on?”
“Um.”
Reggie knows he should have anticipated that question, but he didn’t, and now he’s panicking. Why did he even mention the computer in the first place? Maybe he should just poof out of here right now. What is he even supposed to say? He racks his brain, but all he can come up with is,
“I need to use your computer.”
Julie pauses, confused. “Yeah, you mentioned that.”
Fuck.
“Right! Haha! Silly me! Right, I need to use your computer… to look something up. On the internet.”
It’s better than his first response, but the bar is pretty damn low.
Yet, amazingly, she goes along with it.
“Okay. I can help with that.”
She sits on the bed and grabs the computer, pulling the metal apart to open up the screen. Reggie’s going to have to ask her more about that later. A few clicks later and Julie has a big white rectangle open with a logo reading “Google” and a text box beneath it.
“So, what do you want to look up?”
Reggie really should have seen this coming.
“Uh, nothing. Nothing important. Just, uh, let me do it.”
She looks at him with suspicion. “You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important. And besides, do you even know how to type?”
Oops. Yeah, Julie is pretty smart. And he really hasn’t thought this through. He wonders if she’ll just kick him out of her room, but then her face changes.
“Hey, is everything okay? You know you can tell me anything.”
That pretty much breaks Reggie. Julie really has been there for him, for the whole band, really, ever since they’ve been ghosts. She’s helped them find their sound again and she’s taught them so much, and he honestly has no idea where they’d be without her. Hopefully, he can trust her with this.
He takes a deep breath.
“How do you know you’re straight?”
Her face is unreadable for a minute, and then she bursts out laughing.
Reggie has never been more confused.
“What? What’s so funny?”
She calms down a bit.
“Sorry, it’s just that—well, I wasn’t planning on telling you this way, but I’m not really straight.”
“You’re not?”
How could Julie not be straight? She liked Luke, didn’t she? Oh, no, what if they had misread the whole situation? She’d better not break Luke’s heart.
“No.”
“You’re gay? Or, uh, a lesbian?”
“No, not that either. Reggie, I’m bisexual.”
Bisexual. What does that mean?
Reggie suddenly realizes he's asked that question out loud.
“It means I can be attracted to people of more than one gender. So, I can like girls, I can like guys, I can like nonbinary people—those are people who don’t really feel like they’re girls or guys.”
“Wait, you can do that?!”
“What—feel like you’re not a girl or a guy?”
“Well, yeah, you’re going to have to explain that. But the other thing—you can like both? Girls and guys? That’s a thing you can do?”
Julie giggles, but smiles at him encouragingly. “Yeah, Reggie, that’s a thing you can do. There are lots of people out there who like girls and guys, me included. In fact, bisexual people are the majority of the LGBTQ community.”
“The LTG—what?”
“The LGBTQ community, I can explain that too. But Reggie,” she says softly, looking at him differently now, “Is that what you wanted to look up on the computer? Do you think you’re bisexual?”
And then Reggie is nodding and sobbing into his flannel. Julie tries to hug him, but her arms slip through him and they both laugh.
“I really wish I could hug you right now,” Julie says, and Reggie can see that she's a little teary eyed.
“Me too!” Reggie exclaims, still half-sobbing, and they both begin laughing and crying at the same time.
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The next day, Julie and Reggie meet in the garage, waiting for the others to poof in so they can rehearse for that night’s gig.
“How are you feeling? Ready to do this?”
Reggie nods, even though he’s nervous.
“I think so.”
She assures him that it’ll be fine, but Reggie can tell that she’s a little anxious too. In a weird way, that comforts him more than her words.
But before he can say anything about it, Luke and Alex poof in.
“Hey! Ready to rock this?” Luke says, already eager to get started.
Julie glances at Reggie, and then she takes a deep breath.
“Yeah, definitely. But, actually, there’s something we have to talk about first.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Luke glances at Alex and Reggie, trying to gage if they know what’s going on. Alex just shrugs, but Reggie looks away and focuses on Julie. It’s the only way he’ll be able to keep his cool.
“So, it’s not a big deal or anything, but I realized I never told you guys that I’m bisexual.”
“Awesome!” Luke says, smiling at her. Then, he thinks about it: “…What is that?”
“It’s when you can be attracted to more than one gender. Guys, girls, whoever.”
There’s a beat. Reggie is bouncing his leg, nervous to see what his friends will do.
Alex tilts his head, thinking about it.
“Huh. Cool.”
And that’s that.
Luke, on the other hand, is significantly less chill. His eyes are wide, and his mouth gapes open a little bit.
“Wait. That’s a thing?”
“…Yeah.”
“Dude, me too! Oh my god, I thought I was crazy! Are you serious?”
“Yes!”
Reggie’s talking before he even knows what he’s doing.
“I know right!! I didn’t get it either, but it makes so much sense! Why should we have to be just gay or straight? There are so many options! Julie was telling me—”
It’s like he’s back in Tony’s all those years ago, except it’s so much better, because he can say exactly what he thinks without judgement, and he actually has some answers, and he knows his friends will accept him—the adrenaline is rushing through him, and he feels like he could spit fire.
Too bad his friends aren’t quite on the same level.
“Hold up,” Luke says, “We?”
Reggie blushes.
“Er—yeah, so I might be bi too.”
Luke is literally jumping up and down now.
“Oh my god!!”
“Wait,” Alex says, glancing at the three of them.
“So, you mean to tell me, you’ve all been gay this whole time?”
Slowly, they all look at each other and nod.
Alex breaks out into a grin.
“Okay, this is amazing.”
And then, they’re all in a big gay group hug, and they’re all laughing, and Reggie’s never been happier.