Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

queen of broken hearts has created a groupchat!

queen of broken hearts named the grouphat

ITS YA BOI, ninth grade syndrome, MONA HAS NO MORA, Grr Grr Bark Bark, C12H22O11, classic starbucks bitch, Xiao, ocean man are now part of  the groupchat!

[ Grade 11^th Group 2 ]

queen of broken hearts: Hello, everyone. As we all know, we’d be in one group for one whole year. This groupchat are just for projects only. No need to spam.

ITS YA BOI: WOWWW SO COOL THIS IS SO FUN HI GUYS

classic starbucks bitch: hello everyone~ our fun has finally begun~

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔰! 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲!

ocean man: **pleasant

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔰𝔥𝔲𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔲𝔠𝔨 𝔲𝔭

queen of broken hearts: I said don’t fucking spam.

classic starbucks bitch: hoes mad~

queen of broken hearts: If it weren’t for the laws of this school, I would’ve slaughtered you.

Xiao: who are you guys even

ITS YA BOI: ………… XIAO WHY

ocean man: what an apathetic man

Xiao: i don’t even know u

classic starbucks bitch: ha~ get ‘em xiao~

Xiao: i unfortunately know u

classic starbucks bitch: hearts been broke so many times~

C12H22O11: Everyone please calm down!

C12H22O11: Why don’t we just introduce ourselves again?

ocean man: we’ve all been together since 10^th grade…

Xiao: we are?

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔢 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔶𝔬𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫!

Xiao: say what now

MONA HAS NO MORA: Whos xiao???

queen of broken hearts: You’re all terrible. How could you not know each other.

ITS YA BOI: I KNOW EVERYONE

queen of broken hearts: Yes and I thanked you for that.

Xiao: apologies queen of broekn hearts

ocean man: **broken

Xiao: ocean man i will not hesitate to cut you down

ocean man: i’d like to see you try to find who i am first

classic starbucks bitch: is this love~

ITS YA BOI: BABY DONT HURT ME

queen of broken hearts: Introduction.

queen of broken hearts: Now.

queen of broken hearts: My name is Keqing.

Xiao: as my username said im xiao

MONA HAS NO MORA: My name is Mona and if youd like to help me out a little you can PayPal me

queen of broken hearts: Mona this is not advertisement.

MONA HAS NO MORA: Shut up you scorpio moon virgo bitch

ocean man: first time seeing keqing being speechless

classic starbucks bitch: HEHEHEHHEHE~

queen of broken hearts: Just continue.

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔱𝔦𝔰 𝔦, 𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔩.  𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫 𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔦𝔩𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔪 𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔥𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯  𝔞𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔢𝔵𝔦𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡, "𝔦𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔦𝔠𝔥. "

queen of broken hearts: This groupchat was made 20 minutes ago and I already have thousands of regrets.

Xiao: what is she saying

MONA HAS NO MORA: Amy what the hell

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔟𝔞𝔥! 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔞𝔪𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱? 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔩!

classic starbucks bitch: how does one type like that~

ocean man: her username compliments herself it seems

ITS YA BOI: WAIT LET ME ADD HER TRANSLATOR

MONA HAS NO MORA: Oh to be rich enough to have a translator bot

ITS YA BOI: ACTUALLY ITS HER BUTLER

MONA HAS NO MORA: OH TO BE RICH ENOUHG TO HAVE A FUCKIN BUTLER KSKLKSLDLKS

Oz is now part of the groupchat!

Oz: to translate mein Fräulein’s exquitish language and vocabulary, she said her name is fischl and she is happy to be with you

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔬𝔷 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦 𝔮𝔲𝔬𝔱𝔥

ocean man: that is actually a beautiful name

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔶 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔦𝔩𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢!

queen of broken hearts: How did you know she had a translator.

ITS YA BOI: WE WERE IN THE SAME CLASS ONCE AND OZ IS ALWAYS AROUND AS FISCHL’S DICTIONARY

ITS YA BOI: BY THE WAY MY NAME IS BENNETT ITS NICE TO MEET YOU

classic starbucks bitch: the pleasure is ours~ my name is venti, friend of yours~

Xiao: you really love to rhyme

classic starbucks bitch: it is time to rhyme~ you should know it is my prime~

MONA HAS NO MORA: Whats the use of rhyming when you don’t get anything from it

classic starbucks bitch: what is the use of astrology when one has no money~

MONA HAS NO MORA: You made a point

C12H22O11: My name is Sucrose. I hope we made a good relationship!

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔦𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔱! 𝔴𝔢 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 𝔟𝔢𝔶𝔬𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫  '𝔦  𝔥𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶!

Oz: nice, let’s be friends forever.

Xiao: all she needs to type is just 5 simple letters

ITS YA BOI: LIGHTEN UP XIAO! MAYBE FISCHL WOULD BE THE YIN FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S YANG HERE!

GRR GRR BARK BARK: Razor

C12H22O11: Nice to meet you, Razor!

GRR GRR BARK BARK: K

MONA HAS NO MORA: Guess we fuond the Yang

ocean man: Razor’s bad at typing

ocean man: also it’s **found

MONA HAS NO MORA: Son of a bitch

classic starbucks bitch: xingqiu, introduce yourself already~

Xiao: xingqiu… noted

ocean man: ahaha, my name’s xingqiu

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔪'𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔟𝔩𝔲𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔶𝔲𝔢𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴?

Oz: are you the one who’s with Chongyun?

ocean man: no

GRR GRR BARK BARK: Yes

ocean man: razor, stop talking :)

classic starbucks bitch: HEEEHEEE~~ HOW ROMANTIC~~

C12H22O11: I support your relationship… whatever they are

MONA HAS NO MORA: Who is this Chongyun you’re talking about????????

Xiao: what mona said

queen of broken hearts: Once again, apathetic.

classic starbucks bitch: xiao puts the pathetic~ in apathetic~

Xiao: sleep with one eye open at night barbatos

C12H22O11: … Barbatos?

queen of broken hearts: Venti’s name.

queen of broken hearts: You all do know that Venti is a nickname.

ITS YA BOI: NO??

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔞 𝔭𝔢𝔠𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔞𝔯 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢!

queen of broken hearts: Speak for yourself.

MONA HAS NO MORA: Gemini bitches are always like this

Grr Grr Bark Bark: 😳😳

C12H22O11: I apologize! I didn’t know that!

Xiao: his parents hate him sm they named him fucking barbatos ajkajskja

ocean man: do not fret, there are names far worse than this

classic starbucks bitch: THIS IS HATE CRIME~

classic starbucks bitch: did all of you think my parents named me after a starbucks~

ocean man: ariana grande did that

classic starbucks bitch: she copied my style~

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔰𝔦𝔯, 𝔡𝔬 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔪 𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫

Oz: calm down dude

MONA HAS NO MORA: Taurus moon, figures

ITS YA BOI: ITS OK WE STILL ACCEPT YOU

C12H22O11: Venti and Barbatos are both cool!

classic starbucks bitch: sucrose this is why youre my fave~

Xiao: now thats one of the biggest lie youve ever said

Grr Grr Bark Bark: you not w aether?

classic starbucks bitch: now I get how xiao knows because I told him~

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔭

classic starbucks bitch: BUT HOW DOES THIS LUPICAL KNOWS ABT THIS~

Grr Grr Bark Bark: Klee

classic starbucks bitch: I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE TELL HER~ THIS IS SUCH A BOTHER~

ITS YA BOI: WAIT I THOUGHT EVERYONE KNEW??????

classic starbucks bitch: knew what~ pls don’t be that~

MONA HAS NO MORA: Everyone at our grade knew you like him, venti

classic starbucks bitch: oh my me shut up

MONA HAS NO MORA: Buy my silence

ocean man: are we going to ignore that he implied he was a god

C12H22O11: Don’t worry, Venti! Aether doesn’t know it!

classic starbucks bitch: xiao im blaming it all on you~

Xiao: stop giving me credits

queen of broken hearts: This is a mess.

ocean man: yes, but perhaps, this could be a great start of the year, no?

queen of broken hearts: My lifespan decreased already.

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔥𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔶𝔢𝔱 𝔣𝔲𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔪𝔢 𝔧𝔬𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰! 𝔞 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡'𝔰𝔱 𝔞𝔶𝔢 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔰𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔲𝔢. 𝔫𝔬𝔴, 𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔲𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢

Oz: this day is good, I am happy. Let’s talk more!

ITS YA BOI: LETS GOOOO FISCHL

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔥𝔦𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢, 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡

Oz: go where my friend

queen of broken hearts: Go home and do your homework.

classic starbucks bitch: my student council captain~ look up to the sky and imagine youre flyin~

queen of broken hearts: No.

ocean man: rejection is hard, but it is just a practice for future days.

classic starbucks bitch: if this is your attempt to make me feel better~ then you’re making shaking in laughter~

Xiao: someday aether would notice you dw

classic starbucks bitch: the fact that you all think that I’m worried saddens me~ i know the best way through a man’s heart~

C12H22O11: That’s not a rhyme!

MONA HAS NO MORA: Which is…

queen of broken hearts: The fastest way to a man's heart is through the fifth left intercostal space, midclavicular line.

Xiao: I approve this

ocean man: you approve murder?

ITS YA BOI: YOOO WHO WERE KILLING

ocean man: no one? do not kill?

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔟𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔡, 𝔦 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔭𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔢𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔢𝔶𝔢

Oz: don’t be afraid for I am here

ocean man: why are all of you down for murder

queen of broken hearts: No one is killing anyone. Not on my watch.

MONA HAS NO MORA: Buy my silence

C12H22O11: Mona, if you want, I could treat you out for lunch

MONA HAS NO MORA: Sucrose is now my favorite person everyone else could go and die in parking lot

ITS YA BOI: SHES SAGITTARIUS THO

MONA HAS NO MORA: I- I still l- love Suc---

Xiao: my dick

classic starbucks bitch: we’re sucking xiao now? how disgusting~

Xiao: meet me at the hallway right now

queen of broken hearts: No fighting in the hallway.

ocean man: fight fire with flame

Grr Grr Bark Bark: No fight. Not good.

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔥𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔨𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔭𝔥𝔢𝔠𝔶!

Oz: he speaks the truth

queen of broken hearts changed the groupchat name to “bunch of dumbasses”!

MONA HAS NO MORA: Well that’s befitting

ocean man: aw, keqing, are you saying that you’re one of us too

queen of broken hearts: I guess you’re right.

queen of broken hearts changed the groupchat name to “bunch of dumbasses + keqing”!

classic starbucks bitch: nice going ocean man~

Chapter Text

Jean has created a groupchat!

Jean named the grouphat

Ahoy Matey, i am nothing but a child, DIE-luc, Mr. Freeze, Ara ara gomen, Give me your money, epitome of poverty are now part of the groupchat!

[ Stuck with you guys again. ]

Mr. Freeze: jean u lov us <3

Jean: The worst day of my life was the day I met you

Ara ara gomen: Ara, we met at the same day though.

Jean: It still stands

i am nothing but a child: THIS PLACE BORING ;-;

Ahoy Matey: zhongli’s here boi

i am nothing but a child: oh nvm then HELLO SENSEI >_<!!

epitome of poverty: oh helol chiled

i am nothing but a child: … i’m sorry, are you calling me?

Mr. Freeze: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA U CNT TUPE

DIE-luc: takes one to know one

Mr. Freeze: STPO CMOING OUT OF UR ANGSTY HELLHOEL JSUT TO CLAL EM OUT JANKSIA

Ahoy Matey: kaeya bro u hvng heart attack or smth??

Mr. Freeze: I only hv one when I see you <3

Ahoy Matey: bro <3

Give me your money: And that’s enough heterosexuality for today

Ahoy Matey: but we said no hetero

Ara ara gomen: No you didn’t, sweetheart.

Jean: Ningguang youre not slick

Give me your money: I do not know what you are talking about

Jean: The sexual tension between zhongli and childe’s wallet >>> the sexual tension between beidou and ningguang

i am nothing but a child: the only sexual tension about zhongli is between ME AND HIM

Ara ara gomen: And your wallet, boo.

i am nothing but a child: mothertrucker dude that shit hurt like a butt cheek on a stick

Ahoy Matey: oh boy oh boy NINGGUANG DO U HV A CRUSH ON ME

Give me your money: We’re not dating

Ahoy Matey: aw shucks

Mr. Freeze: enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, 500k+, mutual pining, there is only one bed, romance, not beta read, and they were roommates, oblivious, comedy, angst with happy ending

Jean: Stop typing like cliché ao3 tropes

i am nothing but a child: OHOHO IS THIS THE REAL LIFE

Mr. Freeze: or is it just fantasy

Ara ara gomen: Caught in a landslide.

epitome of poverty: no ecsaep form realtiy

Jean: Terrible job zhongli

i am nothing but a child: he never missed.

Ahoy Matey: never failed to disappoint us

epitome of poverty: im jsut bad at tpyign

Mr. Freeze: that’s sum higrophilic shit

DIE-luc: Its hieroglyph you uncultured bastard

Mr. Freeze: um okay thabks a lot BROTHER

DIE-luc: Learn how to type first

Mr. Freeze: god u wish

Give me your money: Why is Kaeya calling Diluc “brother”?

DIE-luc: He has bro-con

Mr. Freeze: UMMM no i do Not

Ara ara gomen: O- onii-chan~~ kya~~

Mr. Freeze: LISA NO ASJAKSKS

i am nothing but a child: THAT’S THE BITCH OFFICER

Ahoy Matey: FBI OPEN UP

Mr. Freeze: I DO NOT HAVE BROTHE RKINK WTF EBEN IS THAT JEAN BACK ME UP NOW

Jean: Guys, come on, weve known kaeya for years now surely we would know hes not like that!

Jean: Sure he once called someone bro romantically and he tried flirting with xiao for fun and got to detention because it somehow lead up into a fight

Jean: And maybe he and venti once tried to smuggled beer into the school and almost get caught because they thought putting mentos in it would cause bubbles

Jean: Sometimes he also watch catgirls ironically and said “no homo” while making out with another boy and…

Jean: Just arrest him officer

Mr. Freeze: JEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS UP

Mr. Freeze: I TOLD U TO HELP ME NOT TO HUMILIATE ME

Ara ara gomen: Haha, we’re just kidding, Kaeya. We love you!

Give me your money: Do not generalize

Ara ara gomen: Most of us love you!

Mr. Freeze: thanks lisa ure like the sibling i wish i had

DIE-luc: Wow okay what about me

Mr. Freeze: god ure the sibling I wish I never have

DIE-luc: Ure walking on the way home

Mr. Freeze: NOOO MR CATBOY LET ME IN

Jean: You could ride with me kaeya

Ara ara gomen: Kaeya, you sick, repulsive scoundrel!

Mr. Freeze: you kno you could join us

Ara ara gomen: Yes, but what’s the fun with having a third-wheel?

Mr. Freeze: im literally babysitting klee, your usual thirdwheel might I add

Ahoy Matey: KLEE!!! I MISS HER!!!

Mr. Freeze: cya mr. Angsty mcEmoboy

DIE-luc: Good riddance

i am nothing but a child: yo why is diluc’s name has “die” in it

i am nothing but a child: pspspsppspspspspps hey catboy u killing anyone

DIE-luc: That is between god and me

Ahoy Matey: the only thing he killed is the vibe he had during 10^thgrade HA!!!

DIE-luc: Shut up beidou

Give me your money: Three years has passed and I still have zero (0) idea as to what Kaeya’s eyepatch is for

Mr. Freeze: its for the

Ahoy Matey: S

Mr. Freeze: W

Ahoy Matey: A

Mr. Freeze: G

Ahoy Matey: SWAG

Mr. Freeze: SWAG

Jean: You know it looks cute on fischl but…

Mr. Freeze: Bah! We, too use it because we are all royalties from Verurteilung!

i am nothing but a child: how the fuck do you spell verstillingston

Ahoy Matey: THAT’S VERURTEILUNG YOU TINY DICK ENERGY BOY

i am nothing but a child: WHY ARE U DISRESPECTING THE SMALL PEEPEE CHODE NATION

Ara ara gomen: Yeah, poor Diluc!

DIE-luc: Don’t bring me into this shithole of a mess

Mr. Freeze: ayeee soulja boy tell em

DIE-luc: Tell them that you wear it because of the aesthetic? With pleasure

Mr. Freeze: who do u think u are

Mr. Freeze: running down leaving scars

Jean: Diluc = 68, Kaeya = 69

i am nothing but a child: AYEE 69

Give me your money: Why do you have Diluc and Kaeya’s shots fired tally.

Mr. Freeze: HA still winning diluc suck ass

Ara ara gomen: You are what you eat lol.

DIE-luc: And be an asshole like you? No thanks

Jean: Diluc = 69, Kaeya = 69

DIE-luc: Much better

Ahoy Matey: WHO SAYS BROMANCE IS DEAD

epitome of poverty: Greetigns evryone

 i am nothing but a child: HI ZHONGLI NEED HELP? FOOD? CLEANING? ANYTHING?

Ara ara gomen: Yes, I do the cooking, yes, I do the cleaning.

epitome of poverty: No thakn yuo chield I am jst in need of hlep

Mr. Freeze: chield

i am nothing but a child: lemme just /casually dies

epitome of poverty: Yuo see it seemed liek I lsot my phneo and nwo I cn’t find it

Jean: Zhongli for the love of god, please turn on your autocorrect

epitome of poverty: Wht is autocorrect

Jean: Childe im joining your casually dying moment

i am nothing but a child: ayeee more friends

epitome of poverty: I lost my phone can anyone help me find it

Give me your money: I-

Mr. Freeze: why not call it LMAO

epitome of poverty: Yes wht a gud idea

Ara ara gomen: My mind is blown yet again, Zhongli, you stupid genius.

Ahoy Matey: ILL TELL U WHERE IT IS IF U PAY ME 100 MORAS

epitome of poverty: Aight bet

DIE-luc: You have no money you freeloader

i am nothing but a child: CASUALLY RESURRECTS SELF

i am nothing but a child: ill pay for it

epitome of poverty: Thank you childe

i am nothing but a child: no worries haha

epitome of poverty: yuore rlly a grate friend :)

i am nothing but a child: CASUALLY GETTING RAISED TO HEAVEN HAHAHA AHAHAHA FUKKKK

DIE-luc: Childe youre not jesus calm your dramatic ass

Ara ara gomen: I don’t know what’s worse, the way he just type “grate” or the friendzoned one

Give me your money: Definitely the “grate”

i am nothing but a child: THE FRIENDZONE OMYGOD

Ahoy Matey: welcome to the club bro

Mr. Freeze: HAHAHAHAHAH I JUST SAW AN ASSASSINATION

Jean: Childe you need to stop acting as zhonglis sugar daddy he needs to learn how to keep his mora

i am nothing but a child: instruction unclear, we have a shared bank account now

Jean: Why do I even bother

Chapter Text

Everyone’s Favorite has created a groupchat!

Everyone’s Favorite named the grouphat

Studying the blade, GO GO BARON BUNNY, POP/STAR, touch of frost, ojou-sama, Masterchef’s champion are now part of  the groupchat!

[ Group 4 ]

Everyone’s Favorite: Hello Everyone!

ojou-sama: whats this

GO GO BARON BUNNY: HELLO WHATS UP

touch of frost: My stress level

GO GO BARON BUNNY: DAMN BUT IT IS DANDY TO MEET YOU

Studying the blade: Who the fuck uses dandy

GO GO BARON BUNNY: ME BITCH

POP/STAR: No swearing or DEATH

touch of frost: Can I leave

Masterchef’s champion: chgoynun clam dwon lolololoololol

touch of frost: Xiangling are u having cardiac arrest

Masterchef’s champion: NO I STILL DINDT HAEV LIEF INSUREANCE

GO GO BARON BUNNY: YEAH!!! LIFE INSURANCE 4 LYFE!!!

POP/STAR: Don’t?? die??

ojou-sama: pardon my frnech but what the fuck

Studying the blade: “frnech”

Masterchef’s champion: yeah doesn’t suond croissant nuff to me

POP/STAR: you cant spell “sound” but you can spell “croissant”??

GO GO BARON BUNNY: WHATS CROISS ANT?? NEW ANTS??

ojou-sama: aether I will dropkick u

Studying the blade: Oooh im so scAreD

Everyone’s Favorite: Guys Please Let’s Not Fight! We Will Be In The Same Group For One Whole Year Remember?

touch of frost: But what if I want to leave

Everyone’s Favorite: What If I K-Word You Instead?

Studying the blade: Whats k-word

POP/STAR: kpop

ojou-sama: kill

GO GO BARON BUNNY: kiss???

Masterchef’s champion: BRO CHOGNYUN IS GAE

Masterchef’s champion: Gau

Masterchef’s champion: HomosExuel

Masterchef’s champion: MY KEYBOARD IS HOMOPHOBIC

touch of frost: Xiangling, for the last time, no matter how many times you made your theories that im gay at the cafeteria, im not gay

Studying the blade: While you were being hEtEroSeXuaL I studied the blade

GO GO BARON BUNNY: what so chongyun’s AGAC??

ojou-sama: say what now

GO GO BARON BUNNY: Assigned Gay At Cafeteria

POP/STAR: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

POP/STAR: no but srsly legit thought u and the rich blue haired boy is dating

touch of frost: ………..scaramouche?

Masterchef’s champion: XINQGIU U STUPID GAY

Everyone’s Favorite: Xiangling Why Don’t You Just Use Autocorrect?

Masterchef’s champion: I am?????????

Everyone’s Favorite: Bitch thefuck

ojou-sama: JASHKASHSJ XIANGLING BROKE NOELLE

Everyone’s Favorite: Let’s… Introduce Ourselves First!

Everyone’s Favorite: My Name Is Noelle! Pleasant To Meet You ^^

POP/STAR: are u gay, asking for a friend

Everyone’s Favorite: Yes, And If Your Friend Has Ninth Grade Syndrome Please Call Her To HMU

POP/STAR: pft what who of the what who has the what now

touch of frost: Fischl?

Studying the blade: is that my homie fischl

Masterchef’s champion: FISCLH MY PRINCESIZIN OF VERURTILINGIALANDIA

GO GO BARON BUNNY: MY NAME IS AMBER!

ojou-sama: hi amber, are you into girls too? Asking for a friend

Studying the blade: But lumine, you don’t have a friend

ojou-sama: what was that? youre INTO the choir boy who spilled starbucks on you?

Studying the blade: U DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME OUT

GO GO BARON BUNNY: NO PREFERENCE HUN <33

ojou-sama: ah okay

Studying the blade: ANYWAY im aether and the gay panic girl is lumine

ojou-sama: im older than u

Studying the blade: No youre not

Everyone’s Favorite: Oh, You Are The Twins?

ojou-sama: yes……… the truth is………. me and aether are twins…………….

POP/STAR: who wouldn’t know that???????

Masterchef’s champion: YOU GYUS R TWNIS??????????????????????

touch of frost: Gottem

Masterchef’s champion: RUDE CHNOGYNU WHAT HVE I EVRE DONE TO U

touch of frost: Never spelling my name right

Masterchef’s champion: HUSH U LOVE IT

touch of frost: I really don’t

Masterchef’s champion: MY NAME IS XIANGLING AND THIS SI C H O N G Y U N

Masterchef’s champion: THERE HAPPY NOW

touch of frost: im never happy

ojou-sama: woah there emo boy

Studying the blade: … lumine u had an emo phase too

ojou-sama: ITS NOT A PHASE IT’S A LIFESTYLE

GO GO BARON BUNNY: that sounds so sad

touch of frost: My name is chongyun

Masterchef’s champion: HE LOVES SPICY AND HOT FOOD

touch of frost: no I fucking hate them

POP/STAR: UR SIN SHANT BE FORGIVEN FOR THAT FOOD WERE MADE IN HEAVEN ITSELF

Masterchef’s champion: UGH IKR CHOGNUYN UR MISSING OUT

touch of frost: Do I look like I care

Studying the blade: AIJASIAKKW CHONGYUN

ojou-sama: ugly keysmash dawg

Studying the blade: Dont call me dawg

ojou-sama: ok dawg

Studying the blade: fukc u

POP/STAR: My name is Barbara NICE TO MEET YOU ALLLLLLLLL

Everyone’s Favorite: Oh, Jean’s sister?

ojou-sama: jean as in liek the pants?

Studying the blade: That’s levi’s bitch

Masterchef’s champion: BARABARA UR SISTA IS JEAN??????

GO GO BARON BUNNY: JEAN HAS A SISTER???????

touch of frost: Who now

POP/STAR: I HAVE A SISTER????

ojou-sama: WH

ojou-sama: WHY ARE U SURPRISED TOO

POP/STAR: oh yea lol I forgot soz

Studying the blade: God I wish I could forgot my sister

ojou-sama: youd miss me dawg

Studying the blade: Not with that attitude im not

Masterchef’s champion: AETHER BLEASE NTO NOW BARABARA HAS ASISTER

touch of frost: Barabara?

Studying the blade: I have a sister too why aren’t u hyping us up

Everyone’s Favorite: Oh, Aether. You Shouldn’t Compare Yourself To A Goddess

ojou-sama: shit man double kill

Studying the blade: image.jpg

Studying the blade: BUT WERE PRETTY

touch of frost: Youre not wrong

POP/STAR: Is that spilled coffee on your shirt

Studying the blade: Oh yea

Studying the blade: Its fine I could photoshop it

ojou-sama: but can u photoshop ur life choices

Studying the blade: WHOS SIDE ARE U ON

ojou-sama: The one where I win bitch

touch of frost: You cant have shit in teyvat

Studying the blade: Youll get used to it

Everyone’s Favorite: CHONGYUN WHO TAUGHT U TO SWEAR

Masterchef’s champion: YEAH CHNOGUNY WHAT THE FUCK

GO GO BARON BUNNY: XIANGLING NAISKMAIKS

ojou-sama: why does everyone of u have ugly keysmash

POP/STAR: LUMINE AHAHAHAHA

ojou-sama: you’re laughing. im asking to the universe and any deities up there as to why everyone’s keysmash is ugly and mildly horrifying and you’re laughing.

Studying the blade: ITS FINE GUYS LUMINE JUST WOKE UP AND CHOOSE VIOLENCE TODAY

ojou-sama: no u shut the fuck up

Studying the blade: unhinged bitch

GO GO BARON BUNNY: NO FIGHTING GUYS!!

ojou-sama: … yes amber

POP/STAR: COUGHS simp

Masterchef’s champion: man this group’s full of gays

Everyone’s Favorite: Truer Words Were Never Spoken

Chapter Text

[ bunch of dumbasses + keqing ]

MONA HAS NO MORA: So I was sitting there

MONA HAS NO MORA: Barbecue sauce all over my tiddies

MONA HAS NO MORA: When I realized

MONA HAS NO MORA: Did anyone actually do the math hw??

queen of broken hearts: You didn’t do your homework.

MONA HAS NO MORA: That’s the whole reason why I am asking for one Keqing, geez keep up

queen of broken hearts: I-

Xiao: imagine doing your homework

Xiao: couldn’t be me

classic starbucks bitch: zhongli would be disappointed in you~

Xiao: i dont care how zhongli saw me

classic starbucks bitch: keep telling yourself that~

queen of broken hearts: Did any of you actually did the math homework??

MONA HAS NO MORA: No ma’am

Xiao: why should i

classic starbucks bitch: hehe~ i too didn’t do my homework~

queen of broken hearts: This is why you guys are failing math.

Xiao: fuck u

MONA HAS NO MORA: You don’t need to know the concentration of HI if a total of 20 mL of HI 0.5 M solution was mixed with 50 mL of HI solution (Mr = 128) which had a level of 16% and a density of 0.9 g / mL to understand astrology

queen of broken hearts: Mona, that’s chemistry.

queen of broken hearts: Also the answer is 0.946 M.

MONA HAS NO MORA: Why are you so smart and pretty it’s unfair

queen of broken hearts: Maybe if you studied math seriously you could be financially stable.

MONA HAS NO MORA: THE AUDACITY

classic starbucks bitch: no time when youre too busy doing god’s work~

ocean man: again with the god complex, venti?

Grr Grr Bark Bark: i also didn’t do my hw

queen of broken hearts: Razor, I trusted you.

Grr Grr Bark Bark: klee burnt my homework

queen of broken hearts: Acceptable, have a nice day.

Xiao: favoritism i smell

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔪 𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔡  '𝔦  𝔣𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔰 𝔲𝔰! '𝔱𝔦𝔰 𝔦, 𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔩, 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔲𝔫𝔤.  𝔦 𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔧𝔬𝔶𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔱𝔦𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰! 𝔦, 𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔥𝔲𝔪𝔟𝔩𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰,  𝔥𝔞𝔰𝔱 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔡 𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔨!

ocean man: translator please

Oz: hi keqing, unlike those fools, I have done my homework

Xiao: WHO ARE U CALLING FOOLS

MONA HAS NO MORA: Share homework now

Xiao: do u not have shame

Xiao: but yea what she said

ocean man: both of you are just the same.

MONA HAS NO MORA: Um okay Mr. Cringey Tropes in Wattpad

Ocean man: not a problem, Ms. Google Search Astrology Couple Compatibility.

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔬𝔥 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔩𝔨𝔰, 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔦 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔱 𝔡𝔬𝔱𝔥 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔢𝔞𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦  𝔡𝔦𝔡𝔰𝔱 𝔦𝔱 𝔠𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔩𝔶

classic starbucks bitch: lol she called you all basic~

Oz: bro I did it randomly

MONA HAS NO MORA: I demand refund of my dignity

ITS YA BOI: HELOO GUYSSS

Grr Grr Bark Bark: Bennett finished homework or not?

ITS YA BOI: what homework

queen of broken hearts: You guys are giving me headache.

ITS YA BOI: I FORGOT MINE AAAAAAAAAAAA

ITS YA BOI: WAIT I THOUGHT YOU LIYUEANS ALWAYS DID YOUR HOMEWORK AND BE THE GOLDEN CHILD IN THEIR PARENTS’ EYES??

classic starbucks bitch: more like hiding those so called golden child away from their parents~

Xiao: its for survival

ocean man: haha jokes on you, I am that golden child

queen of broken hearts: Xingqiu, please help those poor idiots.

ocean man: cash me outside how bout that

Xiao: run for your fucking lives I Will get your homework

ocean man: do you even know how I look like?

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔥𝔢 𝔤𝔬𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢

Oz: he got you there

Xiao: shut

MONA HAS NO MORA: PLEASE ANYONE?? SHARE??

ocean man: no lol

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔰𝔦𝔯 𝔦𝔪 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔤𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔴𝔥𝔶 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡𝔰𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔯𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢

Oz: dude im just guessing my answers

queen of broken hearts: I don’t trust you guys enough to share it.

ITS YA BOI: RUDE

Grr Grr Bark Bark: :(

C12H22O11: I finished mine!

classic starbucks bitch: finally someone smart has come and is not a jerk~ please share us your work~

Xiao: share,,,,,,, onegai,,,,,,,,,,,

MONA HAS NO MORA: I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING PRAYING PLEASE MY SAGITTARIUS FRIEND

ITS YA BOI: SUCROSE MY BEST BUDDY

Grr Grr Bark Bark: hi sucrose

C12H22O11: It’s fine! I’ll share it to you guys! Albedo helped me with most of it anyway haha…

ITS YA BOI: OOO ALBEDO EY

MONA HAS NO MORA: ALBEDO SIMP CONFIRMED

C12H22O11: Mona, he's gay...

MONA HAS NO MORA: GODDARNIT I NEED BLACKMAIL MATERIAL PEOPLE!!!!!

Xiao: who?

ocean man: you sound like an owl lol

Grr Grr Bark Bark: klee’s friend

queen of broken hearts: He’s the smartest kid in our grade.

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔦𝔯 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔪 𝔴𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢 𝔤𝔞𝔶 𝔣𝔞𝔫𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔡𝔲𝔭𝔭'𝔡 𝔡𝔯𝔞𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫. 𝔦 𝔞𝔪 𝔮𝔲𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔵𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔮𝔦𝔲 𝔦𝔰 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔰

Oz: the guy who wrote gay fanfictions and opened coms for drawings. Pretty sure xingqiu is one of his buyers

ocean man: fischl, you don’t need to call me out

classic starbucks bitch: albed-hoee~

classic starbucks bitch: made a poem about him once~

C12H22O11: F- for who?

classic starbucks bitch: someone commissioned me~

classic starbucks bitch: tehe ;3

C12H22O11: math.pdf

C12H22O11: That’s my work, guys. Please don’t copy it too much.

Grr Grr Bark Bark: Thank

Xiao: only know sucrose for one week and shes already my favorite

classic starbucks bitch: sucrose~ ever so pretty like a rose~ i thank you for your grace~ because now I can save face~

MONA HAS NO MORA: BLESS U SUCROSE SAGITTARIUS IS MY FAVE

ITS YA BOI: …….. WHY ARE THE ANSWERS THE SAME AS FISCHLS???

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔣𝔱𝔶 𝔤𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔰, 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔩𝔶. 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔤𝔲𝔱𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔬𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔠𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔱, 𝔞𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔩𝔩

Oz: lucky guess, my guts are usually correct afterall

MONA HAS NO MORA: Stop acting so smug

queen of broken hearts: Do not make this into a habit.

ITS YA BOI: SIR YES SIR

ocean man: boo!! boring!!

Xiao: this is why i only like sucrose and hutao

Grr Grr Bark Bark: … hutao burnt the physics lab last week

Xiao: what a queen

MONA HAS NO MORA: Queen behavior methinks

ITS YA BOI: ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS

ocean man: IF SHE BREATHES SHES A THOT

C12H22O10: … Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this

classic starbucks bitch: wanna change to spotify premium~?

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔟𝔢𝔫𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔣𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲

ITS YA BOI: AYOOOO

Oz: bruh

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔬- 𝔬𝔷 '𝔱𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔯𝔢𝔤𝔞𝔯𝔡!

Oz: I wont hesitate Mein Fraulen

classic starbucks bitch: want a break from the ads~?

queen of broken hearts: Venti, I will strangle your neck.

classic starbucks bitch: that’s not very premium of you~

queen of broken hearts: I give up.

Chapter Text

[ Stuck with you guys again. ]

Ahoy Matey: let me introduce you to my party people

Ara ara gomen: IN THE CLUBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

i am nothing but a child: AYO MR WORLDWIDE???

Jean: Why are you guys texting?

Give me your money: So we’re no longer allowed to text? I see how it is, Jean smh

Jean: UNPROVOKED???

Jean: WE’RE ALL LITERALLY IN THE SAME ROOM??????

Jean: Why can’t we just talk like normal people

epitome of poverty: pehraps becuaes wre nto normal?

Ahoy Matey: yes local typo old man share us your wisdom

i am nothing but a child: ZHONGLI PLS TURN ON UR AUTOCORRECT

epitome of poverty: adn yuo expcte me to knw waht tHT IS?

i am nothing but a child: GIVE ME UR PHONE I COULD YOUR ANGLE

Ara ara gomen: Or yuor devil.

Give me your money: Thank you for your service childe, your sacrifice will never be forgotten

i am nothing but a child: IM NOT DEAD YET

i am nothing but a child: besides I have an ideal death planned

Give me your money: ……….. You planned your own death?

Jean: And when I thought it couldn’t get any weirder, childe come and break it all

i am nothing but a child: I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALLLLLL

i am nothing but a child: IF MY DEATH ISNT BECAUSE OF FIGHTING TO DEATH THEN WHTAS THE FUCKING POINT??? DIE OLD WITH YOUR LOVER? PATHETIC

Ara ara gomen: “If” he says.

epitome of poverty: I thnki dyning wtih yuor lover is niec

i am nothing but a child: THATS SO OLD FASHIONED PLS TRY NEW THINGS YOLO AYEEEEE

Ahoy Matey: oh damn you onto something

Give me your money: no

Ahoy Matey: I HAVENT EVEN SAID ANYTHING TF

Give me your money: still a no

Ahoy Matey: JEANNNN NINGGUANG IS BEING LESBOPHOBIC

Give me your money: just because I dont want to date you doesnt mean im lesbophobic

Jean: It kinda is

Ara ara gomen: It really is, though?

Ahoy Matey: HA!!

Ahoy Matey: face it u like me

Give me your money: cancelled

i am nothing but a child: #BeidouIsOverParty

Ahoy Matey: B R U H

Mr. Freeze: PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

i am nothing but a child: um wat

Jean: Kaeya, what are you doing

Mr. Freeze: cultural reset

Mr. Freeze: I SAID

Mr. Freeze: PREPARE

Mr. Freeze: FOR

Mr. Freeze: TROUBLE

Ara ara gomen: Do you need to go to infirmary again?

epitome of poverty: it semees taht yuove lsot yuor sainty… are you okay?

i am nothing but a child: OMG ZHONGLI JUST TYPED PROPERLY NINGGUANG SCREENSHOT THIS OUR BOY IS FINALLY GROWING

Give me your money: Screenshot declined

i am nothing but a child: bitch im beside you I literally saw u screenshotting it

Give me your money: Why don’t you shut it instead

Jean: Why does kaeya look depressed

Mr. Freeze: ISAID PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

Mr. Freeze: BUT NOOOOOOO

Mr. Freeze: go diluc give us nothing SMH

DIE-luc: I WAS IN THE TOILET

Mr. Freeze: again with your half-assed half-baked disgusting “reason”

Ahoy Matey: aw yea time for dramaaaa

Mr. Freeze: YOURE GROUNDED

DIE-luc: first of all, we talked abt that IN THE BATHROOM

DIE-luc: second of all, YOU CANT FUCKING GROUND ME

DIE-luc: LASTLY, WHAT HAPPENED TO OHANA BULLSHIT YOU SPOUTED TO MY FACE SHITHEAD

Mr. Freeze: I FUCKING LIED I JUST WANT TO THROW AWAY YOUR GRAPEJUICE

DIE-luc: THAT WAS YOU????

Mr. Freeze: WAIT waitwat WAIT ISAID WAIT I COULD HEAR YOUR RUNNING THROUGH THE HALL

DIE-luc: youll be the halls to my boughs of holy

Ara ara gomen: Falalalala lala la la~

Mr. Freeze: NOT THE TIME TO SING LISA

Mr. Freeze: anyway it was jeans idea OKAY KILL HER NOT ME

Jean: KAEYA YOU TRAITOR

DIE-luc: Jean I trusted you

i am nothing but a child: pft tough talk for a fellow with small cock

DIE-luc: my 15 cm penis begs to differ

i am nothing but a child: THEN BEG YOU COWARD BEG

Ahoy Matey: now now ajax no need to be insecure

Ara ara gomen: Lol, Ajax.

i am nothing but a child: I TOLD U THAT IN CONFIDENCE

Give me your money: Whos ajax

i am nothing but a child: me bitch

i am nothing but a child: WDYM “INSECURE” IM NOT?????

Ara ara gomen: I’m sure Zhongli loves you no matter what.

i am nothing but a child: why are we bringing up zhongli…………

epitome of poverty: idnot gte waht were tlakign about btu I agree

i am nothing but a child: zhongli….

epitome of poverty: aftreall we aer freinsd :)

Jean: Childe don’t walk jump out of the window youll break your bones

Ara ara gomen: I think Zhongli’s typos finally killed him for good.

Mr. Freeze: THE SMILE AT THE END AOKSOAOMSOJASMLA

DIE-luc: do a flip childe

Give me your money: Haha weak

Ahoy Matey: ARE WE REALLY NOT STOPPING HIM????????

Ahoy Matey: YES JEAN PULL THAT BTCH BACK SLAP SOME SENSE INTO HIM

i am nothing but a child: IM BACK AND NO LONGER GAY

epitome of poverty: tahts nice

i am nothing but a child: FUCK

Mr. Freeze: pog moves zhongli

Ahoy Matey: POGPOGPOGPOG

i am nothing but a child: BARKBARKBARKBARK

i am nothing but a child: DISCORD NOW

Mr. Freeze: AYO LESFUCKING GOOOO

Ahoy Matey: LESGO LESBIANS

DIE-luc: only three of you are in that discord what the fuck

Mr. Freeze: now now diluc dont be jealous and sip your grapejuice

DIE-luc: WELL I DON’T HAVE IT ANYMORE DO I????

Mr. Freeze: oh yea

Mr. Freeze: very pogchamp of us, yea jean?

Jean: Kaeya shut up

Ara ara gomen: You guys really go and prank Diluc without me?!

Ara ara gomen: Friendship over with KaeyaJean, Ningguang is now my best friend.

Give me your money: no

Ara ara gomen: Who needs friends anyway.

Mr. Freeze: AHAHAHAHA

Mr. Freeze: DILUC ITS MY TURN TO USE THE BRAINCELL

DIE-luc: get your own braincell

Mr. Freeze: cant, too busy making new pranks for you

DIE-luc: THIS IS WHY YOURE SINGLE

Mr. Freeze: NOW THAT’S JUST RUDE MANY PEOPLE SIMP FOR ME

epitome of poverty: you knwo, bcak in ym dyas simps aer shrot for squirrel in my pants

Give me your money: screenshot

Give me your money: also zhongli were literally the same age

Jean: Why cant we eat lunch peacefully

Ara ara gomen: Most of us are done eating, honey.

Ahoy Matey: lol what is childe doing

DIE-luc: hes been doing that for 5 minutes

Jean: What

Mr. Freeze: hes crying wtf… BRO U OKAY?

Give me your money: Childe you cant use chopsticks?

i am nothing but a child: no i cannot

i am nothing but a child: waddup im childe im 18 and i never learn how to use a fucking chopstick

epitome of poverty: thuogths and praeyrs to yuo

i am nothing but a child: one day im gonna look at zhongli’s typo and itll be the last thing that ill see

Ahoy Matey: WHY LMAO

i am nothing but a child: BECAUSE ITS SO FUCKING HORRENDEUS MY EYES BURN

Jean: Maybe zhongli really do need to use autocorrect

Ara ara gomen: Hot take queen.

Give me your money: Zhongli what the hell are you doing

epitome of poverty: breakdancing?

i am nothing but a child: THAT’S IT GOD PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY EYESIGHT

DIE-luc: I don’t care about childe but seeing zhongli’s breakdance is my villain origin story

epitome of poverty: rdue I wsant taht bda

Ahoy Matey: it was worse than ur typo never do it again please

Jean: How could you broke your finger while breakdancing?

Ara ara gomen: I mean, could be worse.

epitome of poverty: thnk yuo lisa

Mr. Freeze: so were adding that to our ban list right? Zhongli breakdancing: BANNED

DIE-luc: can we ban you from throwing away my grapejuices?

Mr. Freeze: your question has been ignored, unread, denied, unacknowledged, hated, disliked, unsubscribed, disowned, and among others

DIE-luc: IM TAKING AWAY YOUR BRAINCELL

Mr. Freeze: NO WAIT IM STILL PLAYING WITH BEIDOU HAVE MERCY 

Chapter Text

[ Group 4 ]

Studying the blade: hey guys am I an asshole for tattling to a teacher abt some dude?

Everyone’s Favorite: I’m Sorry, What?

Studying the blade: okay ookay STORY TIME

Studying the blade: SO THERES THIS GUY

ojou-sama: holy shit not this again

Masterchef’s champion: damn shawty clam dwon

Studying the blade: N E WAYS BEFORE I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED

Studying the blade: so i was going to the toilet right cuz i need to piss

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: DUDE WE DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT

Studying the blade: when i get there after purposefully circling the school with barbara cuz tbh mr. varka’s class bore me lmao

POP/STAR: AND BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SEE VENTI THROUGH THE CLASS WINDOW

Studying the blade: STFU U WANTED TO SEE BENNETT TOO

Everyone’s Favorite: Go On, We Do Not Need To Know Your Stalking.

Masterchef’s champion: AJJSJAHSJ AETHER JST SLAMMED A BOOK ON TEH TBLAE

ojou-sama: STOP READING HIS TEXTS WHILE YOU STILL CAN HOLY FUCK

Studying the blade: hush now lumine

Studying the blade: so then me and barbara separated and i finally go to the toilet for the sweet sweet release i need

touch of frost: too much information pls

Studying the blade: AND WHEN I GET THERE

Studying the blade: WHEN I GET TO THE FUCKING TOILET

Studying the blade: THERES THIS DISGUSTING STENCH IN THE AIR

ojou-sama: OKAY EVERYONE PACK UP U DON’T NEED TO KNOW THIS

Studying the blade: a stall was opened

Masterchef’s champion: THEN WHAT

Studying the blade: AND INSIDE THERE LAY A DUDE. WITH AN EMPTY NUTELLA OPEN.

POP/STAR: i think i know where this is going

POP/STAR: ACTUALLY I DO KNOW. AETHER FUCKING STOP I WAS THERE TOO.

Studying the blade: WE SUFFER THEY SUFFER

ojou-sama: FUCK U

Studying the blade: the dude holds a spoon and was scooping out poop out of the closet

Studying the blade: and then he plopped it in the nutella can

Studying the blade: so i called mr. crepus who was nearby lmao and he got detention

Studying the blade: SO MY DEAR GROUPMATES AITA??

touch of frost: youre an asshole for making me read that

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: OPEN POLL: KICK AETHER OUT: IF YES SAY AYE IF NO THEN SILENCE

ojou-sama: aye

Studying the blade: UNPROVOKED??

Masterchef’s champion: you ltirally told us the grossedt stroy ever TF U MAEN UNPRVOKED

Studying the blade: AYO WHAT

Studying the blade: IS THIS MY CANCEL ERA

POP/STAR: LMAO IM HOLLERING

Everyone’s Favorite: Sometimes Violence Is Okay.

Studying the blade: AJSJAS NOT ME GOING DOWN BC OF POOPIE TRAGEDY

ojou-sama: maybe if ud just stfu

Studying the blade: UM IM NOT GONNA LIVE THRU THAT ALONE YALL COMING W ME WHETHER U LIKE IT OR NOT

Studying the blade: YOU MAY HAVE BLOCKED ME BUT I ALR CORRUPTED UR MIND SO WHOS WINNING

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: holy shit hes right

Studying the blade: DAMN STRAIGHT

Everyone’s Favorite: Aether, None Of Us Is Straight.

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: OH YEA ON THAT NOTE

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: LUMINE DID IT HURT

ojou-sama: what hurt what haha?????

Studying the blade: OOOOO IS THIS FINALLY HAPPENING???

Masterchef’s champion: IST BAERLY A MNTOH LMAO

touch of frost: a month too long

Masterchef’s champion: UM U LITRLY INLVOE WHIT XINGQIU BUT OKAY WHTVS

touch of frost: im telling xinyan on you

Masterchef’s champion: DMAN SHAWTY DON’T RUIN OTHER PPLS ROMANCE

POP/STAR: lmao lumines been typing way too long

ojou-sama: FALL WHAT NO IM NOT IN LOVE WITH ANYONE I DON T FALL IN LOVE HA NICE JOKE HAHA SO FUNNY

Everyone’s Favorite: Nice Save.

ojou-sama: HAHA :)

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: ehhh??

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: didn’t u fall down the stair during break?

ojou-sama: say what now

POP/STAR: we all saw that. i gave u a kuromi bandaid

Studying the blade: UM I WASN’T THERE HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE

touch of frost: youre busy telling mr. crepus abt ur poopie incident

Everyone’s Favorite: The Kuromi Bandaid Pack That You Bought Because Bennett Likes Sanrio?

POP/STAR: NOELLE STFU CHALLENGE FAILED

Everyone’s Favorite: If You Just Give Me Fischl’s Number This Wouldn’t Have Happened.

touch of frost: breaking news: the lesbians are at it again

Masterchef’s champion: HEY AT LAEST TEH GNIGER HAIERD SNIEOR CAGUHT HRE!!

touch of frost: everytime i see xiangling’s text i wish i were illiterate

POP/STAR: AND EVERYTIME WE KISSED I SWEAR I COULD FLY

Studying the blade: PAUSE

Studying the blade: LMAO CHILDE CAUGHT HER????

ojou-sama: this conversation is over

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: YEA THE VIDEO WENT VIRAL

ojou-sama: amber my beloved

POP/STAR: AJSJJSS MY BELOVED

ojou-sama: say sike to me rn

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: ITS ON TWITTER

Studying the blade: AMBER SEND HANDLE FAST I NEED THE VIDEO PLS I WANT MY BLACKMAIL NOW HURRY TF UP

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: @JuvenileGalant

Everyone’s Favorite: Isn’t That Xingqiu’s?

Masterchef’s champion: AJSJAJS THTS XINGQIU LMAO

Masterchef’s champion: LMAO ASNK HE MAED FANCAM ALR???

POP/STAR: ITS ALR AT 5K VIEWS HAHAHA

Studying the blade: LMAOOOO THE DEVIL WORKED FAST BUT XINGQIU WORKED FASTER

ojou-sama: I CANT EVEN GET MAD AT HIM ABT THIS BC ITS HIS REVENGE AGAINST THE XINGQIU FANCAM I MADE

Masterchef’s champion: AYO THAST U BESTIE

ojou-sama: dw ill give him shit later :)

Everyone’s Favorite: Like, In Nutella?

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: I hate aether sm he ruined nutella for me

Studying the blade: ily2 amber mwah

ojou-sama: so true non-oomf

Studying the blade: UNBLOCK ME ON TWT ALREADY FFS

ojou-sama: how abt no <3

touch of frost: ideally, as xingqiu's childhood friend slash best friend, i would love to fight you on that

touch of frost: however, he is an asshole so carry on

POP/STAR: it’s the gay behavior for me smh

Everyone’s Favorite: What Is SMH?

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: SO MUCH HATE

Masterchef’s champion: Sonic Maurice the Hedgehog

Studying the blade: there are two (2) types of ppl

ojou-sama: I need to stop finding things out like this

touch of frost: IM STRAIGHT

POP/STAR: the only straight u are is a straight up bitch

Masterchef’s champion: ASHSSJDND

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: HELLO POLICE THERES BEEN A MURDER

Everyone’s Favorite: Have You Ever Been Walking Down The Street With Your Best Bro

Everyone’s Favorite: And While You’re Walking You Accidentally Touches Hand

Everyone’s Favorite: You Think To Yourself

Everyone’s Favorite: That Was Weird But I’m Not Gay

Everyone’s Favorite: You Are

Everyone’s Favorite: You Are Gay.

touch of frost: you got me there

Masterchef’s champion: WHAT

Masterchef’s champion: IVE BEEN ON UR CASE FOR 10 YEARS

Masterchef’s champion: TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS

Masterchef’s champion: AND NOW U AGREE COMPLETELY WITH NOELLE???

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: AJJSISND HER TYPO RLY SAID: AIGHT IMMA HEAD OUT

touch of frost: yea

Masterchef’s champion: U KNOW WHAT IM NOT EVEN SORRY FOR PUTTING JUEYUN CHILLI IN YOUR POPSICLE YESTERDAY

touch of frost: THAT WAS YOU??????

Masterchef’s champion: SHHH URE ILLITERATE REMEMBER

Studying the blade: IM DYING AJSJSJDS PLS

ojou-sama: good. Die

POP/STAR: OKAY so chongyun gay old news damn

touch of frost: BUT IM NOT GAY FOR XINGQIU

Masterchef’s champion: AH SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN

POP/STAR: MAMA MIA

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: HERE WE GO AGAIN

ojou-sama: stage one: denial

Studying the blade: ah yes the god of gays has spoken

Everyone’s Favorite: What’s More Gay: Gay People Or Whatever The Fuck Lumine’s Feelings For Amber Got Going On

ojou-sama: I came out here to have a good time and honestly im feeling attacked rn

Masterchef’s champion: AJJJSJAH THE CLALOUT

touch of frost: im too young for this

touch of frost: IM TOO YOUNG IM ONLY FIFTEEN

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: when his parents build a very strange machine

Studying the blade: LUMINE THIS UR GIRL

ojou-sama: FUCK U THAT’S HOT

GO GO BARRON BUNNY: thanks <3

POP/STAR: AHAHHA THE POWER AMBER HAS

POP/STAR: LUMINE JUST COMBUST ON THE SPOT NOT CLICKBAIT!!

Masterchef’s champion: UGH BRB YALL GNNA SET MSEYFL ON FIER SO I CN B HTO FOR OCNE

touch of frost: brb videoing her setting herself on fire

Everyone’s Favorite: How About None Of That

Studying the blade: and that’s on asta kinnie

Everyone’s Favorite: This Is Why People Doesn’t Share Their Carrd To You, Aether

ojou-sama: and that’s on period

Studying the blade: IAHSHSIS IHATEU

Chapter Text

[ for the love of god pls use this gc properly – ningguang ]

whotao????: HELLO EVERYONE FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT WE WILL BE HVING ZOOM MEETING IN

whotao????: lmao wait when was it again

MONA HAS NO MORA: U DIDN’T EVEN TELL US ANYTHING ABT IT HOW COULD WE KNOW??????

defo gemini: mona stfu challenge

MONA HAS NO MORA: STFU BOWLCUT NO ONE CARES ABT U

POP/STAR: here we go again…

whotao????: ayo did yall deadass ignore me smh my head

ojou-sama: “smh my head”

whotao????: THIS IS WHY I PREFER AETHER

classic starbucks bitch: OMFG BANGER BESTIE~

ojou-sama: THIS IS SLANDER

jueyun chili supremacy: maybe if u streamed my music :///

ojou-sama: ?????? what does that hv to do with anything im??

whotao????: okay bitches and xinyan, no need to scream lmao so whens our meeting again

GO GO BARON BUNNY: in 15 minutes!

whotao????: THANKYOU AMBER JUST FOR THAT IM UPGRADING U FROM BITCHES TO AMBER

defo gemini: hutao u fuck its 11 pm

whotao????: okay? local boy knows how to read clock?

MONA HAS NO MORA: yea no need to flex that u hv clock :///

ojou-sama: u don’t even hv the link tf

albeDONT: link

albeDONT: heres the link

jueyun chili supremacy: that’s 8ball

albeDONT: and?

POP/STAR: there are times I regret joining student council

GO GO BARON BUNNY: really? When?

POP/STAR: all the time

ocean man: DIES FROM BANGER

whotao????: XINGQIU STOP LURKING U SICK SON OF A BITCH

ocean man: no

ojou-sama: no seriously this is the worst student council line-up ive ever heard

classic starbucks bitch: ah but uve heard of us~

defo gemini: I don’t even know the line-up lmaooo

MONA HAS NO MORA: just say ur uncultured and go

ocean man: why do u guys even want to be the student council leader

whotao????: RUDE ME AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE STUDENT COUNCIL IS THE BEST THING UVE EVER SEEN

albeDONT: being the vice president = air conditioner in a private room

GO GO BARON BUNNY: wait how did u guys even win the nomination

whotao????: fufufufufu

albeDONT: fanbase

whotao????: blackmail :D

albeDONT: that too

POP/STAR: THAT IS WAY TOO SHADY WHAT

MONA HAS NO MORA: money

defo gemini: were rly giving our money to mona of all ppl? Humanity rly has stooped this low

MONA HAS NO MORA: EXCUSE ME U JOINED THE DISIPLINARY STUDENT BODY TO BOSS PPL AROUND U HV ZERO (0) RIGHTS

classic starbucks bitch: ZHONGLI SAID I CANT JOIN ONE SO I PROVED HIM WRONG: THE STORY ~

ojou-sama: ur just a vice secretary u don’t count

classic starbucks bitch: boo!!!!

whotao????: WAIT THERES SOMEONE MISSING :((((

ocean man: yo my kunikida kinnie where u at?

classic starbucks bitch: im here bby <3

ocean man: stfu dazai kinnie

whotao????: DAZAI KINNIE AOJSSNIWD

defo gemini: hey whats wrong with being dazai kinnie

GO GO BARON BUNNY: the dazai kinnies unites……..

MONA HAS NO MORA: scaramouche why don’t u try to shut up not everything is abt u

defo gemini: that’s fucked up I refuse to believe it

POP/STAR: AJSJSHD HELP??/

jueyun chili supremacy: no but fr wheres ganyu

ojou-sama: the way everyone knows kunikida kinnie = ganyu

albeDONT: the way all of you watch bungou stray dogs

kunikida kinnie: says the guy who has ranpo bodypillow

MONA HAS NO MORA: SHOTS FIRED

classic starbucks bitch: HOLY SHIT SHE KILLED HIM~

classic starbucks bitch: anyway are we srsly hving a meeting or not cuz ambers killing me at 8ball rn~

GO GO BARON BUNNY: WEVE REPEATED THE GAME 10 TIMES JUST ADMIT UR DEFEAT ALR

classic starbucks bitch: OVER MY DEAD BODY~

kunikida kinnie: a meeting? as the secretary, ill do my best!

classic starbucks bitch: oh thank god~

whotao????: oh yea

whotao????: SO U JUST GOT PRANKED BY HUTAORAWRXD69420 HAHAHA

defo gemini: pls tell me that’s just a copypasta joke and not her actual twitter handle

jueyun chili supremacy: … I could tell u that but then itd be a lie

MONA HAS NO MORA: how dare you make me read that

albeDONT: on that note, which is better: rivals to partners to enemies to lovers

albeDONT: OR

albeDONT: childhood friends to enemies to partners to rivals to lovers

ocean man: second one definitely

whotao????: that’s bc u self insert urself with chongyun

ocean man: shut up

whotao????: LMAO U DIDN’T DENY IT

albeDONT: inch resting ill write that as my new fanfic prompt

ocean man: albedo I didnt know u read?

albeDONT: u read books I read fanfictions we are not the same

POP/STAR: KSJIDJID HELP?????

ocean man: bestie are u still on wattpad

albeDONT: im not so low as to go to wattpad :/

POP/STAR: u can take out the wattpad off ur phone but u cant take out those memories of "sold to one direction" fics out of ur soul

albeDONT: which is a prime reason why you should go to ao3 instead

ojou-sama: how abt going to therapist instead of living in delusion

jueyun chili supremacy: JSJJJS HELP SHE GOT U THERE

classic starbucks bitch: so I just lost 8ball to ganyu and im sobbing bye~

kunikida kinnie: it was fun :D esp since we only use one hand and not allowed to tilt our phone I hope we can play together again

classic starbucks bitch: haha yea we only use one hand and not allowed to tilt our phone haha~

MONA HAS NO MORA: WHY DID U EVEN DO THAT

kunikida kinnie: I like to challenge myself mentally and physically!

GO GO BARON BUNNY: ure gonna die…

classic starbucks bitch: SO LUMINE IS UR BROTHER SINGLE

ojou-sama: choke and die

classic starbucks bitch: so that’s a yes?~

albeDONT: phone number thank me later

ojou-sama: bitch

classic starbucks bitch: ALBEDO U SWEET FUCKER ILY BOO <3 HOW SHALL I EVER REPAY YOU~

albeDONT: xiaos number

whotao????: ayo SERIOUSLY

albeDONT: did I stutter

defo gemini: xiaos the quiet kid right

MONA HAS NO MORA: XIAO IS A QUIET KID????

kunikida kinnie: xiaos not quiet hes just shy!

MONA HAS NO MORA: SHY????? THAT MF IS SHY SHE SAID?????

classic starbucks bitch: phone number don’t tell him I gave it okay ~

jueyun chili supremacy: OKAY BUT ON A SERIOUS NOTE xiao looks kinda swag

whotao????: S W A G

POP/STAR: yea but he looks constipated 50% of the time

ocean man: CONSTIPATED AKSNJSN BARBARA

kunikida kinnie: i guess that’s the price you pay for being edgy emo boy

ocean man: this has been a PSA

defo gemini: better than going through furry phase tho

MONA HAS NO MORA: HEY CATGIRL RIGHTS

defo gemini: on this episode of “are you a fucking furry or are you fucking a furry?” with guest star mona, a motherfucker

MONA HAS NO MORA: I HAVE FUCKED NO MOTHER

jueyun chili rights: shes just gay for keqing

MONA HAS NO MORA: LITERALLY STFU

jueyun chili rights: COUNTRY ROADSSS

classic starbucks bitch: LETS A GOOOO~

POP/STAR: IT’S A MEEEE

whotao????: MARIOO!!!

ojou-sama: im losing my fucking braincells

kunikida kinnie: we been knew

MONA HAS NO MORA: on another unrelated news, anyone gonna share me some of those juicy physics homework

whotao????: cutely moonwalks hey girlie anyone wanna do it to me too? lipbite

kunikida kinnie: oh my god never say lipbite ever again

classic starbucks bitch: sexily fornite dance haha hey sweetheart talk physics to me~

ojou-sama: and YOU try to court my brother smh :///

POP/STAR: >ojou-sama: share homework or death mf

>Studying the blade: photo ah to be young and dumb again

>ojou-sama: so true non-oomf

>Studying the blade: UNBLOCK ME BITCH

POP/STAR: this u?

ojou-sama: AND WHAT DID U GAIN FROM EXPOSING ME

POP/STAR: bennett’s second twt acc

POP/STAR: and justice ig

classic starbucks bitch: EHE~

GO GO BARON BUNNY: the gays are at it again

defo gemini: the physics hw is so easy tho?

MONA HAS NO MORA: HEY DID U KNOW THAT SHARING IS CARING

defo gemini: meh go fuck yourself

classic starbucks bitch: I love the fact that as soon as its abt hw ganyu and xingqiu dipped

whotao????: SEND US MIRACLE KAJISSIKSNE

albeDONT: photo

whotao????: omg lord albedo teach us ur way

albeDONT: no fuck u

MONA HAS NO MORA: THE DISRESPECF???

albeDONT: u cant even type??

classic starbucks bitch: ugh pack it up chalk zone~

albeDONT: im not tutoring u again

classic starbucks bitch: BUT BABY ITS TOO COLD OUTSIDE~

ocean man: lmao

whotao????: LOOKS WHOS BACK

whotao????: FOR IGNORING ME I PUNISH U BY BOOKING CHONGYUN FIRST THING TMRW

ocean man: WHAT NO FAIR

jueyun chili supremacy: yea!! I booked him first!

ocean man: no you dont??? HES MY BEST FRIEND

jueyun chili supremacy: HES MY BAND MEMBER

whotao????: HES MY yea idk I just wanna annoy him

ocean man: don’t we all?

whotao????: RT

jueyun chili supremacy: R FUCKING T SO HARD

POP/STAR: … I pray for chongyun’s mental health everyday

kunikida kinnie: he needs all the pray he gets

defo gemini: lmao I remember when chongyun hugged me

ocean man: HUH

defo gemini: yea he thought I were u and he shuts down from embarrassment AHAHAH

ocean man: pics or it didn’t happen

defo gemini: photo

whotao????: GOD BLESS THIS IMAGE

ocean man: I WONT MAKE THIS NORMAL BUT THANKS SCARA ASJNSKJN IM GONNA PESTER HIM TMRW

jueyun chili supremacy: not if I pester him first

ocean man: aight bet

classic starbucks bitch: yo he kinda cute tho

ocean man: ISNT HE but u hv aether so stfu

defo gemini: wtf normalize thanking me??

defo gemini: in fact NORMALIZE THANKING ME EVEN FOR THE THINGS I DIDN’T DO

kunikida kinnie: thank you scaramouche for not skipping class

kunikida kinnie: thank you scaramouche for paying your debt

kunikida kinnie: thank you scaramouche for not making ppl brawl just for fun

kunikida kinnie: thank you scaramouche for not sleeping in class

kunikida kinnie: thank you scaramouche for not doodling childe’s face with permanent marker

kunikida kinnie: thank you scaramouche for not stashing your candies and chips in the clinic

kunikida kinnie: most of all, thank you scaramouche for being a good friend

MONA HAS NO MORA: AKSIJSIJSM SHE SNAPPED AKNSIKSN HELP SOMEBODY CALL THE AMBULANCE BUT NOT FOR ME

classic starbucks bitch: YOU BROKE HER~

ojou-sama: SHE NEVER MISSED

GO GO BARON BUNNY: AJJSISNISWN

jueyun chili supremacy: THE WAY THIS SEND ME

albeDONT: banger

whotao????: AYO HIT TWEET

ocean man: hit tweet yall stream my fancam!!

kunikida kinnie: /j ily scara don’t cry

defo gemini: STFU I WASN’T CRYING

POP/STAR: LIAR >:(

defo gemini: just for that emoticon u can go to hell

albeDONT: if scara was an ao3 tag hed me mcd

classic starbucks bitch: …mcdonald?

defo gemini: ah yes, my favorite tag: McDonald

whotao????: ITS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH U UNCULTURED SWINE

POP/STAR: u just cried and now ure making a discourse?

defo gemini: time management bitch one of the five elements u need to be successful

MONA HAS NO MORA: Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Time Management.

kunikida kinnie: long ago the five nations lived together in harmony

jueyun chili supremacy: then everything changed when the time management nation attacked

GO GO BARON BUNNY: only the avatar, master of all five elements could stop them

POP/STAR: but when the world needed him most

albeDONT: he vanished

defo gemini: I hate all of u

MONA HAS NO MORA: smh why u gotta be so hateful

defo gemini: I am full of love u dumb bitch

classic starbucks bitch: IM ACTUALLY DYING FROM ALL OF THIS SNIDNDNK~

ojou-sama: and yet u still have the “~”

classic starbucks bitch: gotta stay in character bestie~

ojou-sama: u sound like a drunkard

whotao????: ITS OK IF HE BECAME ONE BC I HV 2 LIVERS

classic starbucks bitch: omg fr bby?~

whotao????: and one of it is to replace urs from all the alcohol u drink <3

classic starbucks bitch: omg oomf <3

albeDONT: yea its actually kidney no liver

jueyun chili supremacy: HELP THE WAY I DIDN’T NOTICE THE MISTAKE AKNSKNS

kunikida kinnie: why are u all like this

MONA HAS NO MORA: HEY NOT ALL ELEVENTH GRADES

defo gemini: heyyy queen I saw your tweet about how eleventh grade are trash and I just wanted to let you know that I agree. although I myself am an eleventh grade, (i know, ugh) i am on your side. “one of the good ones” as some may say

kunikida kinnie: remind me why im friend with u again

defo gemini: I make great veggie sandwich like the kind person I am

kunikida kinnie: whats your strength as a human being?

defo gemini: being kind

kunikida kinnie: and your weakness?

defo gemini: being too kind

MONA HAS NO MORA: LIAR

POP/STAR: MAY THE GOD FORGIVE UR SIN

ojou-sama: satan cant even outwhore u scara stfu

albeDONT: how could say something so wrong so boldly

whotao????: lmao sureeee and im a robot

classic starbucks bitch: AHAHAH IM DYING~

GO GO BARON BUNNY: NOT FUNNY. CRIED.

jueyun chili supremacy: sir this is the mcdonalds

ocean man: I smell nothing but bullshit

defo gemini: YOU TAKE THAT BACK

whotao????: on the scale of bubble guppies to hetalia how problematic is scaramouche?

kunikida kinnie: voltron

jueyun chili supremacy: BANGER TWEET OP!!!

defo gemini: STOP

albeDONT: did u know that keith/lance fanfic has one of the highest kudos number in ao3 before it got deleted?

ocean man: excuse me sir, not to be disrespectful or rude but could you please take post down. my brother was killed for reading that keith/lance fanfic on ao3. And it this post is very disrespectful. Idk who you are or if you even know him but I need you to take this down please.

GO GO BARON BUNNY: baby this is keke palmer

POP/STAR: HELP SJJDNDNSKSM I NEED AN OXYGEN TANK

ojou-sama: WHY ARE ALL OF U STILL AWAKE ITS 12 AM

classic starbucks bitch: wont u stay in the AM~

jueyun chili supremacy: all my favorite conversation

whotao????: hey did u know that if a body is asleep, it will remain sleeping unless it is acted upon by something

defo gemini: JANSNIS

whotao????: credits to homeboy isaac newton

MONA HAS NO MORA: THERE IS NOW WAY HE SAID THAT

albeDONT: actually, it is newton’s lesser known fourth law

classic starbucks bitch: WAIT LEGIT???

kunikida kinnie: how could you even believe that…

whotao????: why? BC THEY PICK ME AS THEIR STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT!!

whotao????: pick me

whotao????: choose me

whotao????: LOVE ME

ocean man: AJSIJSIDNAJ NOT GREYS ANATOMY

kunikida kinnie kicked whotao???? out of the groupchat!

MONA HAS NO MORA: NANSDINISDSK GANYU KILLED HER

albeDONT: the evil has been defeated

ocean man: LONG LIVE THE QUEEN GANYU

kunikida kinnie: who kicked hutao out of the group :(?

jueyun chili supremacy: KNSNANS HELP??? GANYU ILY

defo gemini: and they said im the cruel one :/