Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A feminine husky voice is speaking.  The voice is whiskey topped tea..” Robin, a losgodd y pethau bastard yn dda?’

“The bastards burned well.  I left letters in Volterra, Romania, and Egypt. “

 My eyes can't open, and the voices sound muffled like my head is wrapped in a dense blanket.  I struggle.  It is daylight. The male voice is describing a fight with a vampire.  My throat is so dry.   No, two vampires. 

“Valiant Puck! You are so swift!. "   That confuses me.

“I put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes.” A young man’s voice exclaims with pride.  I force my eyes to open.  There is a petite woman with long red hair speaking with who I recognize as Robin from the night before.  She has strands of silver in her hair.  She looks at him with a wide smile.  Her hand touches his arm.

"I . .." I try to speak.  They both start. She rushes over to me.  I see a heart-shaped face with verdant green eyes.    She has a widow’s peak. 

August 15th, 2010 5:23 a.m.UTC

“And then quite distinctly, I felt the splintering along the fissure line in my heart as the smaller part wrenched itself away from the whole.”

How did I get here? I am in a foreign country and fleeing my husband and honeymoon with an elderly couple's help.  I don't speak Portuguese. This old woman is helping me walk.  Her grasp is gentle as she leads me to the boat dock.  Her husband is signaling someone from the end of the dock.  She keeps muttering Anhangá and Orixia.  Is it a prayer?   Is she trying to ask for protection for me?   I am not worth it.  I want to tell her to flee.  Drop me and flee for her own safety.  It is getting harder to keep my eyes open.  I feel like I have weights attached to my eyelids.   I falter, and her hands slip. I want to scream in pain.  Keep moving, Bella.  I coach myself. It is not working.  Until your heart stops beating, don’t forget that you have options. My inner Jacob reminds me.

“Please.” Her little voice says in English.  I grit my teeth and keep going.  The woman saw me in the white room in pain, surrounded by the remains of the pillow. Edward had tucked me in after consummating our marriage. He broke the bed and me.  She saw me and started muttering.  She covered her mouth with her hand. I was embarrassed.  I hurt in so many places.  The pain meant nothing compared to the embarrassment.  She left in tears.   I tried to sleep.  I think I passed out.  Edward had left me a note.  He had gone hunting. 

The old woman came back.  She cried and then helped me up out of bed.  I tried not to scream.  I am covered in bruises; certain my left wrist is broken.  I think my right hip is as well.  I have Edward’s handprints all over me in bruises- they were already purple. How did I get here?  I am so tired.  It has only been two days since my wedding day.

Your wedding day is supposed to be the ultimate expression of your love.  My wedding was the ultimate expression of Cullen’s existence: glamorous and empty.  It was all spectacle.  I had no input on any of it.  Alice decided everything.  I couldn't be bothered.  I was just worried about Jake. I did not want to get married. I wanted to be changed into a vampire. Or at least, I had to be changed into a vampire. I am not certain about how I feel right now.  I made a deal with the Volturi.  I have to honor it.  It is what I wanted.  It is what I want.  Just not right now, I am hurting, and I want to go home.

It was Edward’s insistence that we marry.   We kept bartering to make this agreement. Wedding for my change.  Real honeymoon and sex for the wedding that I did not want. I was so tired of him stopping as I got interested.  My excitement was too much for him.   Too much for his control, why did I not think of that?  It was my fault.  I demanded this human experience.  He couldn’t control his strength.  I insisted.  I made him do this.  I messed up.  I messed him up like my birth broke my parents’ marriage.  We should have just done this at home in Forks before the wedding.  This pain is my fault. 

 I did not want to get married to Edward.  I did not want to marry anyone.  Not even the love of my life, I saw how that worked with Renee and Charlie. Their marriage breaking up broke my father.  Charlie never recovered.  He never redecorated his house in Forks. Edward and I would not be them.  We would not be Romeo and Juliet.  We would live forever, and it would be perfect. Serene and beautiful like his lullaby.   My feet sound heavy on the dock of Isle Esme.  Who the fuck gives their wife an island in the tropics when they have to avoid the sun? That thought sounds like Jake. 

The sun shone in my eyes, and I felt warm.   I missed Jake.  My personal sun made me smile and warmed me from the inside out. It was a lie.  It was a flash of the lantern.  I remember. Jake is lost to me.  I hurt him so bad.  

I was so angry that Edward had sent him an invitation.  Then I wasn’t, Edward explained why he sent the invitation to have my best friend at our wedding. Jake was gone for so long.  I worried, and then he was there.  It was perfect. We danced, and it was beautiful.  Jake teased me about my honeymoon.  I fired back that it would be a real one.  Jake lost his temper and had to be pulled out of my reception.  My father and the others not in the Pack and the Cullen family were confused by his outburst.  The Cullens soothed it all away.  Billy looked heartbroken.

I would never return to Forks as a person.  I  would never return.  The new Isabella Cullen would leave Forks for her honeymoon.  She would go to Brazil and leave straight for College.  Or, she would meet with an accident in Brazil if the change went poorly.  Charlie and Renee would be devastated. 

It was all so I could begin my real life.  I would be strong.  I would be stronger than anyone after I changed.  Our love would protect me. I would fade from Charlie and Renee like a dream.

It was a lie.  Nothing prepared me for seeing Edward’s eye go black.  The pain of losing my virginity.  He couldn’t kiss me due to venom.  He couldn’t do things to get me ready. He had a lubricant that was kept in a warming pot.  He outlined the rules.  I couldn’t move or react. I was to stay still. He thrust inside me.  He was so cold.  It numbed the hurt, but I eventually felt something more than embarrassment. I moved my hip chasing the feeling.

It was too much for him.  He pinned me down. I thought my love – our love would keep his vampire nature at bay. I was wrong. I asked him to stop. Begged to stop.  I felt my wrist and hip go at separate points; I think he enjoyed my fear and pain. The only thing our love did was have him destroy the pillow in a frenzy instead of biting me.    

He tucked me in and said we would enjoy more of these human moments after hunting for a few days.   I just lay there in a stupor. I cried.  I begged for help.  I begged for Charlie.   I never wanted to see my dad more.  I want to apologize. I want to tell Charlie that I did not mean it.  I take it back.  I love him and Renee.  I am not afraid of growing old anymore.

A boat covered in flower garlands anchors to the dock—a gangplank land with a thunk.  A beautiful afro Brazilian woman stands there.   She is in a flowing long-sleeved blue dress tied with a white sash.  She cocks her head to the side.  The old man kneels, and the woman tries to do the same with me.  The beauty in blue holds up her hand to stop her. 

“Bem-vinda e nossa gratidão, minha senhora. Este é o sangue de fada. O vampiro a chamou de esposa.” The man spoke without looking up from the sand. 

“O Vampiro a chamou de esposa? Isso é   . . .blasfêmia!” the beauty’s voice soft like the gently lapping waves.  Her voice was lulling me into a further stupor.  She spoke in English, looking over my head. "Quickly, you must all board my boat.  Anhangá is here.  “ 

“Sua misericórdia é ilimitada Yemanjá!" the couple says.  The old man gets to his feet and grabs my other shoulder.  We walk past her to the bow of the boat.  They sit me down. I hear the scrape of wood and a motion through the boat. We are pushing off.  I am going to make it. 

I hear a growl, and I look to see Edward at the top of the hill near the house. I cannot find the voice to scream.  He flickers.  A sound stone being shattered echoes.  It is the sound I heard in the Newborn fight.   In the moonlight, a white deer with red eyes is rearing up on two legs.  One hoof strikes Edward to the ground.  The second pins him.  He grabs at the leg pinning him down.  Edward hisses, and I hear the break. The deer screams, and the second hoof cracks his face.  He lets go of the leg to scream and grabs at his face.    

Edward flees from the white deer. He’s shrieking, but the sound is off.  Filha da fada , a voice whispers in the wind.  The deer's eyes glow red. It evaporates like smoke.  I lose consciousness feeling the rise and fall of the waves. 

It is dark but warm.  Not the oppressive heat and humidity I expect of Brazil, I am warm like a cocoon.  It is nice.  I want to snuggle into the warmth and try to breathe in the sun.  I expect to smell Jacob:  wood, spice, and maybe a hint of the bonfire.  Instead, I smell coffee, tobacco, and jasmine.  I force my eyes open. I am lying on my side, wrapped in a blanket.  I see the beautiful woman – Yemanjá is her name.  Maybe?  She is humming as she guides the boat.  I blink hard.   I see the lights of a marina.  It is not the Isle of Esme.

“Yemanjá?” I mumble the name.  I think it is a name.  She turns her face to me. 

“Sim, Filha da fada?”.  My mind registers the housekeeper stroking the side of my face. 

“Where? “I try and can only get the two words that say it all.  “Why?” 

“Your second, I will answer first.  You are not meant for endless death.  First query's answer, we are going to Yemayá.” 

Yemayá.” The housekeeper and her husband repeat with a whispered reverence.  I shiver. The housekeeper starts rubbing my back briskly. 

“Bonitinho.”

Tears form in my eyes.  The man makes shushing comfort noises.  Vague memories of being a little child with someone cradling me close to their heart saying “. oh, mush”.

Grandpa Swan.  He would call me mush.  I just want to sleep and be that little girl again. An old phrase echoes in my head.  A willful fault has no excuse and deserves no pardon.  I did this.  It is my fault.  Edward gave me what I wanted.  All of this is my fault. I am causing so much trouble.  Edward will be so angry with me.  I was wrong to go with the couple and Yemanjá.  The Volturi will kill Charlie, Renee, and all of La Push.  Oh God, they will kill these people for helping me.

“You have to take me back.   I have to go back to Edward.  “I struggle to sit up.  My hip screams at me as I use my good arm to push up.  “You have to turn around.  I can’t stay here.”

“Não, Filha da fada.  I am taking you to your family. “

I start to panic.  They can’t.  They can’t be here.  How are Charlie and Renee here? “No, you can’t. They will kill them.  “

“Perhaps.” She looks unbothered.  I start fighting to get to her.  I am screaming with pain and anger. No matter what, they cannot take me to Charlie and Renee. I am chanting no in tears.  I rock despite the pain.  My gaze only on her feet.

“They will kill my parents!  You have to take me back.  The Volturi will kill my family.”  The housekeeper is desperate to quiet me. Yemanjá looks at me with pity. The boat glides close to the dock.  A line is thrown. The boat is tugged into the dock—a brief touch to the back of my head.  I look up into her dark citrine eyes.  They look almost like gems.  I must be going into shock.

” Não, Filha da fada, your family may kill the Volturi.”  I stop fighting and just look at her. That statement is crazier than Italian vampire royalty. What is Charlie going to do?  Hit them with a can of Vitamin R.  I cannot accept what she just said. A plank is lowered.  A twentyish man with black spiky hair and the darkest blue eyes I have ever seen steps onto the boat.  At his side is . . . Yemanjá, but her dress is white with a blue sash.  She has a stethoscope around her neck.  The twins walk to each other and touch their foreheads together.  The boy with the spiky hair smiles at me with a feral grin.  His eyes are indigo.  I would think them black, but the light catches them exactly right.  They are indigo.  They cannot exist in nature.  I must be in shock.

“Helo, byddaf yn egluro yn Saesneg Mush. “he says.  His voice is low, but it is pitched like he is telling me a secret. My brows furrow together.  I look at him with a blank look.  I look back at the twins. Their heads are still together. I look at the caretakers, who look baffled as well.  I am about to fall over.   The man tilts his head towards the twins.

“Don’t mind her, Mush.   She is just catching up with herself.  Why don't you lean on me, and we can get you taken care of all tidy at her clinic?” He puts his shoulder under my right side.  He grins wide.  I smell strawberries and something else.  Nuts? Spices?  “I am Robin Goodfellow.  You, Isabella Marie Swan, are my family.  “

“Cullen.” I just stare at him.  Robin chuckles.  The hairs on my arm stand up. It is familiar to me.  I know that from somewhere.

“The living cannot marry the dead.  That will never stand. "  His expression changes when he notices the cradling of my right wrist near my chest.  He looks horrified. He gently slips his hand under my right hand. I feel his shudder.  He places my hand back on my chest. He turns to the housekeeper and her husband.  His voice is deferential.   "What are your full names?"

The couple looks at each other.  The man speaks up and points at his wife then himself.  "Aba and Otávio Mangabeira.” 

“Aba and Otávio Mangabeira, you have done a service to the Shining and the Obsidian Thrones.  I gift you with these rings. “Robin raises his hand and turns over his palm to face up.  Two rings are in his palm.  He offered the silver and gold knot worked rings to the couple. They each took one and put it on. The rings fit.  “Fortune will favor you.  Live fully”

I am in the twilight zone.  This is so bizarre.  I expect Ashton Kutcher to come up and say I am on Punk’d.  The twin in white comes up.  Her voice is soothing like summer rain.  “Você prestou um serviço aos Tronos Brilhantes e Obsidianos. Ele te presenteou com esses anéis. A fortuna vai favorecer você. Viva plenamente.  Viaje com segurança. Minha bênção para você.” 

“You granted them safe travels.  Good, let us get Bella to your clinic.  Her hennain Titania is en route.  The shootings at the Gay Pride parade are making Titania’s travel difficult. “Robin slowly bends to pick me up.  He doesn’t look strong enough to pick me up. Yemayá, the twin in white, smiles broadly and nods. 

"Follow me, please."  Her voice is soothing, like summer rain. She turns and walks away. He follows Yemayá.  He is slight and tall.  He is warm like Charlie.  Not the supernatural warmth of Jacob, nor the icy cold of Edward.  He reminds me of a young tree.  He looks like he bends in the wind.  I am cradled to his chest.  This should not be possible.  I recognize the smells. He smells like strawberries, pepper, and pralines. It makes me laugh. He smells like dessert.   I just keep giggling.

“You smell like candy.”   

“Just like you, fy annwyl un.”  His laugh is deep.   I know what he called me.  I remember that also from my grandpa.

“Why do you call me, my dear one?”  He stops.   He inclines his head and touches his to mine softly. 

“You are dear.  We, your family, are going to remind you. I am going to remind you and my nephew Charlie, your father, of how dear you are.” He catches up to Yemayá.

Chapter Text

August 17th, 2010 5:23 a.m. PST

 I see that you can’t live without him now. It’s too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun.

I was chasing Bella as Cullen ran with her on his back.  I heard her call for me.  Jacob, her voice cried. I was chasing him as fast as my wolf would let me. He was darting to and fro.  I could never gain on him. I needed to get in front to block him to save her. It was never enough.  My muscles burned.  I kept going. He kept going faster and faster.  She disappeared over the horizon. My wolf collapsed. I came to with a start.

 I jerk, and the girl next to me grumbles.  Shit. It comes back to me:   my long fingers in short soft hair with dark eyes looking up at me, watching my cock slide in and out, holding onto slim hips, and nails digging into my ass.  I run a hand across my face.  Is it night still? I look out the window and see stars in the river.  Still night, and I am still not home. I lay my head back and rub my face with my free hand. It is time to take stock.  Where am I, and what am I doing?

  I am in a rental cabin north of Forks on the Sol Duc River.  Edward passed Seth an envelope: the keys and address to the cabin with a note.  It was a lot of flowery language for sorry you lost. Sorry I turned you and your friends into vampire killing machines. I am going to kill the woman you love.  Have a two-week bender near to your home on me.  You can be near your family while I am on my honeymoon. They can see your meltdown.  Trash it up. I don’t care.  I can buy a new one. Distract yourself while Bells loses her soul. 

Bells. Her mahogany curls flicker red, copper, and gold in the sun.  Her chocolate brown eyes that that looking into make me higher than any drug. Her laughter warms my heart.  My Bells.  No, never my Bells.  Only almost my Bells, I had the hope of a shot when Eddie boy disappeared.

Somewhere far from me, Bella is dead.  Or she is in the middle of a transformation into a vampire, and she is lost to me either way.  I scoot my arm out from a feminine shoulder that grumbles.  I get up to grab a bottle of water. I pull it out of this wine fridge that is in the bedroom.  It says smart on the label.  I figure whoever bottled this water is pretty smart for the price of a single bottle. 

I chug down the water.  Rez moonshine can even kick a shape-shifting werewolf's ass in large enough quantities. Cullens did have cases of expensive liquor delivered to the cabin, but I needed something more. I mixed moonshine in with 25-year-old scotch. It tasted nasty.  I drank enough not to care.  I finish the bottle of water and toss it for trash. One of Leah’s eyes open. 

“Gimmee one, Black."

“Sure, Sure.”  I grab two more waters and toss her one. My head hurts. I drank enough to render a normal person dead or blind.  My heart is worse, but eh.  I will survive it. No choice on that.  The Spirit Warrior will keep the body alive, even if the man craves death.   I lost my virginity to my packmate and Alpha’s former fiancée.  .  I fucked up and fucked Leah.  I am angry with the world.   I am angry with myself.  

Some part of me just thought the drama level was low.   I just had to ratchet that shit up.  Christ, I am a bitter bastard.  I look at Leah and feel guilt.  I am using her.  She is using me.  I used to be a better friend. I used to be a better person. What the fuck was I thinking?

We both were hurting. We both consented.   It is just going to make everything messier. It is my way of choosing death.  Bella certainly did. It just will take one slip in the pack mind, and someone can die.  It wouldn’t even take Sam killing me.  It would be a distraction at the wrong moment. Damn it.  It could be someone else who gets hurt.  This is proof why I shouldn’t be Alpha.

“Stop it.” Leah hits me with her thrown empty. I was staring but not actually seeing.  I refocus on Leah.  Her nostrils are flared, and her chin is up.

“Stop, what?” I ask.  I need to piss.  Leah gets up off the bed.  We are both naked.  I look at her.  It is not sexual despite the fact we have fucked six ways to Sunday.  Every fantasy that I wanted to do with Bella – I tried some variant with Leah.  Leah’s tall and tough. She is an Amazonian goddess.   No fear of hurting her while trying not to embarrass myself by lasting all of five seconds once I got my dick in. No tenderness. Just raw feeling, I held nothing back of my strength. 

“Stop kicking yourself and brooding over the Leech Lover.” Leah stalks over and tries to pull me into a kiss.  I push her away. I don’t want this.  I am disgusted with myself.

“Not now.”  I scowl. “ I got to take a piss.”  I go into the bathroom, which is the size of my entire bedroom at home.  I flip the lid.  My packmates are taking care of my dad, which is par for the course right now.  I fled for months when I got the wedding invite.  I just got back to La Push to have that one dance.  I thought I could let her go.  I freaked the fuck out when Bells told me she was going to have a real honeymoon.  He would kill her, putting his ice-cold dick in her.  They are too strong.  One broke half my body.  One grip too hard, Bells would be paste. My scene at the reception got me shoved out by Sam.  He did not care as long as it was her choice, and the Cullens left.    I shake off, flip down the lid, and flush the toilet.

I turn on the water to wash my hands.  The cabin has these little soaps shaped like fish.  The towels are the fluffiest towels I have ever seen.  It is like trying to dry my hands on a cloud. The rental company sends someone out to collect the trash and dirty towels.  They bring back clean towels, whatever supplies I send via the iPad, and offer to make up the beds/clean.  I just want clean towels and food.  Cullen did this to twist the knife.  Display all that Bells would “enjoy” for eternity as his wife.

I could have thrown the keys away.  I could have burned the place to the ground. I could have run away forever as a wolf.  I could have come here and drunk myself near to death alone.  Instead, I am making him pay for the ridiculous food in obscene quantities having sex with my friend who is just as broken as I am. 

Leah found me after I fled the reception.  She had the envelope and order from Sam to keep me close.  Sam didn’t know how close she would keep me.  I opened the envelope. I read the note.  I fell to my knees and cried.  Leah read the letter.  She kissed me.  I asked if I wanted to go fuck and fuck things up.  I kissed her back and said yes.

I look at myself in the mirror. I am startled.  Who and what is this guy? The face and body are not how I see myself in my head.  I see the shaggy hair I was growing for Bella.  I see the tattoo for the pack.  I see the grey tone from the moonshine I drank to spite my dad and the responsibilities left to me by my sisters leaving home.  The sixteen-year-old who grew to 20 ish overnight to protect the tribe.  The future Alpha and chief of the tribe.  None of which is the person I thought myself to be.  Who and what am I for me?  I do not know.  A deep breath.  Maybe I should find out?

I walk back out, and Leah is on the couch flipping through channels. The cabin has satellite tv.  Woo, I can watch sports teams from eastern bumblefuck. Woo!  I haven't lost my sarcasm, at least.  I sit down in the recliner.  Leah looks at me.

“Want to eat or fuck?”  Leah asks me with about as much enthusiasm as if she asked if I want to scrub the counters or the floor.  I sigh.  I turn my head to look her in the eye.

“Leah, what are you doing?”

“I am doing as my Alpha commanded; what are you doing, Black?” Leah's tone has a bite.  I hum and flip the lever on the recliner.  I lean back. I don’t break eye contact.

“I am blowing up my life with dynamite instead of waiting for it to burn. To be more specific,  I was having sex as a middle finger to the spirits, the Cullens,  and the pack.  I am wondering what you are doing and why?  Bella is dead or dying.  I am fucked up by that.  I know I am fucked up.  You are also fucked up, but this . . .”  I gesture to us both. “ is not good for either of us.”

“You said it was good when your dick was in my mouth.” Leah spits. That is true.  I did. She did.  We also called each other by different names when we were lost in the moments. I am numb. 

“I did say it was good. I also cried after losing my virginity.  I drank a case of booze when I got up from that. I slipped up and called you Bells the time after that.  I kept drinking and having sex.  I kept going down on you while you called me Sam.  That’s messed up .”

“That doesn’t matter.  They aren’t here.  We are. We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

“It does matter.  Not because of doing wrong by them,  we are betraying us. Our friendship and ourselves should mean more than days of revenge, sex, and booze because the people we love did not choose us over magic and monsters.  “ I blink really hard.  I am not going to cry. I cried enough. I had tried to stay a wolf so I would not cry over Bella choosing death. 

Shit, Leah looks murderous.  Well, I am not paying for this place. She can break the whole place apart if she wants. I try not to tense up.  It goes better when I am relaxed in a fight.  Not that I am going to fight, I plan on ducking a lot.  I have two sisters.  I know how to avoid being hit in the head with things. Leah’s face crumbles.   She covers her face with her hands.  “I am so tired of not being good enough.”

Not expecting that response, I am up and over to her.  I rub her back while she sobs.  When her tears taper off, I speak. “ You are good enough.  I am good enough.  It just did not work out with Bella and Sam for us,”

“I just want to feel whole.  Just for a little bit, Jacob.” Her arms go around me.  She takes a breath and then reaches up.  Leah tries to kiss me.  I stop her. She is hurting.  I am hurting.  Who would it hurt?  I am tempted.  I am also tempted to grab a bottle of scotch and drink it like water.  I could just drown these feelings.  She could drown too.  I shake my head, no.

"No," I say.  I mean it.  Leah punches me. I rock back but don’t hit back. She punches me two more times. I take it.  She busts my nose wide open. She tries for a fourth, but I grab her fist.  I am not hurting her, but I am not going to let her hurt me anymore.

 “No, Leah.  I am not doing that either.”  I start to cry.  Not because she busted my nose, I cry because magic broke a beautiful, strong girl.  I cry because magic is turning another beautiful girl somewhere across the world into a soulless demon.  I cry for the boy I was, the one who did not get to experience life as just a man before he had too much responsibility.

I sit there rocking her with blood, tears, and snot pouring down my face. I have to put myself first, but not in a way that hurts me or anyone else. I am going to try and figure out what is left in my life.  Mourn what is gone.  Build on what remains. 

After a while, we both stop crying.  We just hold each other.  It is getting close to dawn.  We stand up—each mumbling something about cleaning up. I go wash my face off in the kitchen sink while Leah hits the showers. We both need to eat. 

 I pull some food out of the fridge.  Who thought to make blueberry pancake flavored sausage? Why emu eggs?   I think Eddie boy has food or eating fetish.  The food that is in this fridge is found nowhere near La Push or Forks. I set up the coffee maker.  I start cooking eggs and sausage for us both. Leah comes out and goes to put on her sundress. My attention wanes while the food cooks.    Someone is pounding on the door.

“Jake!  Leah! Open up!  It is me!”  Seth is out of breath.  That is never good.  I pull the food off the burner as Leah opens the door. Leah is yelling Seth’s name.  I am still naked.  Seth's eyes are wild.

"Two vamps are burning!" Seth grabs Leah’s arms. 

“So?” I ask as Leah shouts. “Why are you freaking about that?”

Seth takes a deep breath.  “We didn’t kill them! The Cullens are all accounted for.  These aren’t them.”  

Fuck.

Chapter Text

August 17^th, 2010 Rio DeJaneiro  3:23p.m.

Well, I’m so sorry that I can’t be the right kind of monster for you, Bella.

A feminine husky voice is speaking. The voice is whiskey topped tea..” Robin, a losgodd y pethau bastard yn dda?’

“The bastards burned well. I left letters in Volterra, Romania, and Egypt. “

 My eyes can’t open, and the voices sound muffled, like my head is wrapped in a dense blanket. I struggle. It is daylight. The male voice is describing a fight with a vampire. My throat is so dry.   No, two vampires. 

“Valiant Puck! You are so swift!. “That confuses me.

“I put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes.” A young man’s voice exclaims with pride. I force my eyes to open. A petite woman with long red hair speaks to Robin, whom I recognize from the night before. She has strands of silver in her hair. She looks at him with a wide smile. Her hand touches his arm.

“I . ..” I try to speak. They both start. She rushes over to me. I see a heart-shaped face with verdant green eyes.    She has a widow’s peak.   She smiles a dimple in one cheek. Something is familiar.

“It is all right, my Dear One. “A gentle hand brushes hair from my forehead. “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”

 I swallow with a dry throat. I take stock of myself: 

1. my arm is in a splint.
2. I am catheterized with a pillow between my thighs.

I will not think about what that means for me being injured. I can not deal with whatever else is going on right now. “I hurt. I am still tired .”

She scrunched up her face in concern. “Would you like Robin to get Yemayá? She can maybe give you something for pain.”

I shake my head, no. Robin is a coiled spring of tension. His hands were flexing. They exchange a glance. Some of the tension leaves Robin. He still seems ready to fly out the door to get Yemaya.

“Who are you?” I ask. She quirks a smile, and the dimple flashes.

“ I am Titania, your hennain. Great Grandmother.” 

 “That is not possible.” I look at her. She looks around my parents’ age. She is crazy. Or, she can’t be human if she is not crazy. “What are you?”

“I am a true born Tylwyth Teg. A Fairy”

I start coughing or laughing. I can’t tell which. Vampires, shapeshifters, and fairies, oh my.   Robin moves my bed into a more upright position.   She grabs a cup from the nearby table and pours water into it.

“Would you like some water, Dear One?”

I nod my head. She holds the cup to my lips.

The first drink of water. It is cool and sweet. It tastes so good. I want to guzzle it down. I choke a bit. Titania pulls the cup away. How do I know if she is crazy or I am?

“Are you crazy? Am I crazy? Or is every story real?”

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” She laughs. She laughs hard enough, her eyes crinkle. It triggers a memory of Grandpa Swan and a laugh like that. I was sitting in his lap, being fed an apple dessert so that I wouldn’t get it all over my dress. I remember that same face with a laugh and a dimpled smile, asking me if I wanted more dessert. Another voice says that she is already wearing half the bowl. Let her have the spoon. Robin’s sparkling eyes surrounded by bleached white tips? Robin offered me more. .; what was the word?

“Pwdin Eva,” I mutter.   I stare at them both.

Robin cocks his head to the side.   He grins. “Do you want some Eve’s pudding? I remember you wanted to take the spoon from Titania when you were a little girl.”

I strain to remember more. A hand holding up a napkin, and I jokingly bit the napkin? Play growls that lead to pretend shrieks. Then covering a face with sticky kisses, Titania played as if she was overcome by a miniature me. I  feel a heat rising in my face. I am angry.

“If it is true, why weren’t you there when I was growing up? Why are you here now?”

Titania clasps her hands in front. She is pushing her thumbs together. She looks me straight in the eye. “It is complicated. I can explain it. First, do you want us to contact Charlie or Renee? They could be here to help you. They could take you home when you have healed. “

“No! The Volturi will kill them.” I am shaking. Don’t they understand? I have got to get out of here. I have got to fix this. This is why I wanted to be changed. I tried to be strong. I need to protect them. I am going to have to get back. I have to go back to Edward. My heart wrenches open. Edward.   He was hurt. I start crying. She looks helplessly at Robin. She tentatively touches my uninjured arm. 

“Robin destroyed two of the guards who were sent to Charlie. He delivered a formal declaration of your and Charlie’s status as Fairy blooded to the Volturi. The same to Amun in Egypt and Vladimir in Romania. They should be safe. “her lips are pursed.

“They could still do it!” Letters. They think letters will keep them from killing Charlie, Renee, or the Pack. Edward.    Poor Edward was hurt and could die because of me.

“They won’t unless they want a war. Titania included in the declaration that Charlie was the legitimate son of Gruffyd ap Oberon and Titania. You were named in the declaration Isabella Marie Swan -known to Fairy as Isabella ap Charlie and Renee.”

“So? Why would that stop them?” They really have no idea about the Volturi. Nothing would stop them. Edward told me their history, and I had seen them first hand. I saw how ruthless they were. If two of their guards were dead, it meant I had no time. I have to get to Edward. I have to be changed. Now. That may not be soon enough for the Volturi. Edward needs me. I need to talk to him. His name brings pain. I moan his name. Tears start falling. The aching hole threatens to swallow me.

“Dear One, do you know A Midsummer’s Nights Dream by William Shakespeare?” her words bring my eyes to her face. I try to blink away, tear blurred vision.

“It is the one with Fairies. “Robin says with a smile. Why are they talking to me about this? I need Edward.   I need to be with him. I can’t breathe. My lungs tighten. It is like I am being crushed. Titania squares her shoulders. She takes my left hand. The pressure on me releases. I relax and draw a breath. I still hurt, but I can breathe. A metal band appears around her wrist. Does it look like a shackle? She says my name, and I look at her.

“The Fairy is split into Seelie and Unseelie Courts. Each court has a throne. Oberon (sounds like Auberon) is the King of Unseelie who sits on the Obsidian Throne. I was the Queen of the Seelie who sat on the Shining Throne till I abdicated for Bran, my surviving son. Gruffyd, your Grandfather known to the mortal world as Geoffrey Swan, was the younger twin to Bran. “

Robin rolls his shoulders and smiles. “The Shining and The Obsidian Throne have an agreement renewed by the Three Lead Covens of Volterra, Romania, and Egypt during the Treaty of The Hague signed in 1720. The penalties for any attempt to harm one of Fairy’s blood is three heads and 100 pounds of gold. The penalty for any heir to a crown is threefold.”

“That is insane!” 

“It is quite restrained.” I could see her anger pour over her. Titania’s nostrils flare, and her lip curls into a sneer. “We had taken every head within 100 leagues or 300 miles before the treaty. “ 

She holds up a finger. “You and your father are fairy blood. No question. It is why you smell so tempting to them. The only point of contention is whether or not you fall in the line of succession for either throne. Your Grandfather relinquished his claim, but not for his child or that child’s issue.”

“What? Why would that be a concern?”

“Fairies are near-immortal. They are also infertile. The whole fiercely defends any child of the blood.” Robin rakes his fingers through his spiky hair.

I have to take a moment to digest this. What did Robin say last night? He called Charlie his nephew. “Robin said Charlie was his nephew. Doesn’t that make him your son too?”

Titania looks at Robin. Expressions flit across her face that I cannot identify.   Robin bows his head. He takes her other hand and places it on his cheek for a moment. It confuses me. My pain stops. I can only compare it to completing a circuit and being shocked, except I feel better? I am still afraid for Charlie and all those I love, but I am not torn inside with razor-sharp emptiness. 

“Oberon is my father, but Titania is not my mother. Carys is my mother. She was human and Titania’s Lady in Waiting. “He points to Titania. “She is or was my stepmother. She is still family. “

He steps back and bows with a flourish. For a moment, I see long boots, a blue-black doublet with stars and a crescent moon, and a thin circlet of silver. “I am Robin Goodfellow, the Puck of the Obsidian Throne. World Strider, and a shrewd and knavish sprite.”

“Valiant Puck! “Titania says with a smile. She is proud of him for it. I have no idea what that means. She is proud of it. I must show on my face that I don’t understand. She frowns. “The Puck is a Harbinger. He arrives before the Crowns or conveys their will. “

With a light knock at the door, Yemayá enters the room. She is wearing a Doctor’s coat and stethoscope. “I would like to speak to my patient. If I may have the room?”

“Of Course. Certainly. “Robin and Titania spoke over each other.    Yemayá holds the door. Titania turns and gives me a tentative smile as she leaves the room.   I do and don’t want them to leave. Robin mouths that they will be back as he leaves. Yemayá closes the door firmly. She walks with a rolling gait to my bed.  

“How are you feeling, Bella?” Yemayá has the stethoscope against her hand warming it.

“I was hurting earlier, but I am ok now. “I bite my lip. “I want to thank your sister for taking me from the Island. And you, of course, for treating me.”

She put the stethoscope to my chest. “I am happy to have helped you from the island and for treating your injuries. Now that you are awake. Can you tell me more about how they happened? Aba said you were on your honeymoon.”

“You helped me from the island? That was your sister.” 

Yemayá shakes her head. “Breathe deeply.”

“But how?” I breathe deeply in and out. She gently touches some of the bruises around my chest. I am disgusted by the purple bruises covering me. You can see almost see the fingerprints.

“No breaks in the ribs. They are bruised. “Yemayá lifts my chin so she can look me in the eyes. “I am one being in different aspects. Part of me blesses and cares for those who love the sea, and another blesses and cares for women. Tell me. How did you end up with bruised ribs, a pelvic fracture, and a shattered wrist?”

My breath catches. I see her. Another image of her superimposed over the one in the room. She has a crown of shells, pearls, and crystals. She is draped in waves. It fades. 

“I was on my honeymoon. “She moves her face closer to mine. “My husband, Edward, is a vampire. I wanted to be changed. He wanted a wedding. I wanted a wedding night as a human. He tried to be gentle. “

Yemayá eyes narrow. I don’t want to say anything. If I speak it, it will be real. She holds my gaze. “I had to be still. He bought this lubricant. . . .   It was warm, so it started to feel good. . . .   I moved.   He grabbed me which  . . .frightened me.  . . .That excited him. My wrist broke first. I bucked.  . . He grabbed my hip, and I felt it break. I woke up tucked in with a note on the pillow that he had gone hunting.”

Yemayá releases my face.   She takes a deep breath. She pulls back the blanket that is covering me and lifts the hospital gown. My hip is deep purple and mottled. “It is fortunate that my followers were there. You needed medical attention. You have a stable fracture to the Iliac Wing. The recovery will require physical therapy. You have some bruising and tearing of your vagina beyond that of your first sexual experience. You are fortunate the vampire broke the bones of your wrist and pelvis instead of killing you by rupturing your cervix. You will need to remain immobile for now. You will remain catheterized and with an iv.”

She covers me back up. She points to my splinted wrist. “I had to repair the wrist fracture surgically. You have a pin and plate that will be with you for the rest of your life. I can help you heal faster than the normal 12 or so weeks for your injuries. It will still require you to do physio to regain motion.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what to say. “Yemayá stops me from speaking further with an upturned palm.

“It will require us to pull that out.” She points to where my vampire bite scar is on my wrist. My face screws up in confusion. “Your great Grandmother wants your consent before we begin. You must verbally agree before you are returned to your natural state. “

“You want to cut it out?” Panic blooms.

“No, I want to pull it out. “She shows me a bit of glittering flesh in the sunlight. That is a piece of a vampire. “Titania and Robin will each bolster that in you which is Fairy blooded. Your body will start to reject the foreign matter. The scar will raise and form teeth. “ 

She moves the piece over the bite scar. I feel a throb and pull in the area. I shudder in horror. “It will latch on.   I will pull it out. You will heal as you are intended. Your body and nature will no longer have to fight that infection.”

“Could you . . . could you have done this while I was unconscious?”

“I wanted to do it while you were unconscious. “Yemayá straightens her spine. “Your Hennain insisted that you be given choices. “ 

“How do they bolster the. . .?” There is a knock at the door. Yemayá looks at me as if asking permission. I answer. “Come in,”

Robin slams the door wide. “I know there is an apple crumb cake that is popular here. It has dolce de Leche on top with the apples. Do you want some Bella? I could go get you a piece if you want?”

Yemayá chuckles. Titania rolls her eyes but grins. “You cannot spoil her with sweets before I get to do so. I am the Grandmother.” 

"No, you are the Great Grandmother." Yemayá waggles her finger. "She needs nutritious food to heal."

"The fact I am her Great Grandmother means I should spoil her more for my lost son and daughter-in-law." Robin snorts and covers his mouth to hold back whatever he wants to say.

“I am still trying to wrap my head around this entire thing.” I shake my head to try and shake the world into making sense. Robin and Titania come close.  They are now standing at the end of my bed.

“Did  Yemayá tell you about what we would like to do?”

Robin wrinkles his nose in a sort of rebuke and mutters something about rule-followers while gripping the end of the bed. Titania beams at him. I don’t know what to do with them. How they act? It is weird. They tease each other. The Cullens were more refined. They are not as rough as the Pack.  The Pack.   What about healing? I could heal faster. Unlike a member of the Pack or like a Vampire, I could heal faster if I choose. I had a choice. They were offering me a choice. I had some questions.

“She said you wanted to help me heal faster. It would be pulling the vampire bite out by bolstering my fairy nature. How would you accomplish this? How long would it take.”

Robin laughs.   Titania glares at him. She snaps her hand at him like a lobster claw. He pinches his laugh off. Yemayá chokes down a laugh and waves herself out the door, speaking about other patients. It shuts with a click.

“We would just tell you our stories. We would hold your hand and pull that which is in you forward.” Titania looks at a snickering Robin to continue.                                                                                                              

“It would take as long as it takes. We don’t know how much of you the vampire has suppressed. Yemayá would confirm when ready.”

“Would it hurt?” 

“I cannot say there will not be a pain when the vampire taint is removed. I can say that it will make you stronger. This strength is yours. It is from your family. It is yours to claim.” Titania is clasping her hands tightly.

My choice. Mine to claim. I bite my lip. “I would like to try.”

“No. You must say that you want your fairy heritage restored to its natural strength. “Robin corrects gently. “We are bound by rules and requirements of words and intentions. “

Titania walks closer looking into my eyes to see if I object.  Titania takes my hand with the IV between both of hers and rubs my fingers gently. 

“I want my fairy heritage restored to its natural strength.” I expected a flash of lightning or something showy. Robin and Titania release a breath.   No pyrotechnics or anything. I just feel relaxed and calm. Titania takes my hand while Robin pulls a stool over for her to sit.   He touches my cheek with a gentle hand. “I must run to perform services for Father. I will return. Titania will start. “

Titania squeezes my hand. Robin taps his head to the side of hers. “Be careful, Son of My heart, the world is still a dangerous place. Go quickly and return.”

“I go. I go.”

Titania smiles at his words. She looks at me with tears. “Let me tell you the story of my marriage to your great Grandfather Oberon. Your great uncle Bran and your Grandfather were underneath my heart and due to be born any minute. Oberon would not finalize the agreement on succession for each crown, and I would not marry him without it.”

I choke a laugh. Titania seems a mixture of amusement, love, and sadness at the memory. “We married at Midnight with the ink still drying. Your great uncle Bran was born just before the following Dawn. Your Grandfather Gregory then Gruffyd was born just after Dawn. That is the basics. Now, let me tell you the whole. “Titania grins, and I listen. I feel warm and safe.

Chapter Text

August 17th -823a.m Forks

Look, I know what he did to you. But, Bella, I would never, ever do that. I won't ever hurt you. I promise. I won't let you down. You can count on me.

I just was able to evade Sam's black snapping jaws. Several voices were yelling at once while I was trying to escape death. Fuck. How do I keep getting into these situations?

It started ok. Seth, Leah, and I had all made it to the burn site in wolf form. I had tied my cutoff shorts to my leg with the cabin key in a pocket. I wanted to keep that option of an escape. It was close to Forks. It was close to Charlie's. Even as a human, I could run to Charlie's fast and be there in 15. We transformed to find Paul, Quill, and Sam standing looking through the bush. They were trying to find a scent trail  Embers remained of two vamps.

"Glad you could join us." Paul sneered. Quill gave me a little wave and a sad smile. Sam had his arms crossed.   

"Jared, Colin, and Brady are all patrolling the Rez and Forks. We have a trail leading out. It doesn't smell like a vampire—without any leading in. Seth, you have the best nose. Follow it out and stay hidden. Leah backs him up. "Seth and Leah back up and phase. Sam looks at me with a grim face.

"Jacob, Your dad misses you. "Sam squares his shoulders. "Your sister Rachel is home and now part of the Pack. Paul imprinted on her."

"No fucking way! Goddamn it. That can't be true. "I can't believe this shit. Why would the spirits do this to me? Paul imprinted on my sister. That cannot be real. 

"Phase.

We all phase. Embry had just closed his house's back door to head over to when he was suddenly in our collective mind. Seth is excited about following this scent. His excitement bleeds through. It smells like pralines, spice, and strawberries. The strawberries remind me of Bella. Her scent that I once loved is now gone.

She will now smell like a corpse. Leah pipes up.

Drop it, Leah. Paul show Jacob.

Paul shows me how he met her, just walking on the First Beach. He looked at her, and all his other connections broke. Rachel was the only thing tethering him to the earth. The Pack's emotions were all beating down on me.   Sam, Quill, Jared, and Paul were happy. Seth, Colin, and Brady were confused. Embry and I were kind of revolted. Leah was  . . . angry and hurt.

Did it have to be my sister? Did it have to be Paul? I grumble. Fuck this Wolf shit!

You are just mad that you did not imprint on Swan. She wanted marble, glitter dick instead of you. Paul mocked.

Maybe you will still imprint Jacob? You just haven't met her yet? Jared offered helpfully. There was a chorus of encouragement from the imprinted wolves. 

We will help you, brother. We will start looking for your imprint as a priority. You are the future Alpha and Chief. Sam's mind went to Emily, her loving smile, and the little house full of muffins. 

I could feel Leah's bitterness rise like a wave. She hurt at Sam's devotion to Emily. Her anger at him for not fighting the imprint. The love and hope remained despite her best efforts to break free from it. All the same feelings I have towards Bella except one. Her small piece of joy at Emily's ruined face. It is a part of herself that she hates. It fuels her anger.

Yea, let us hope that she isn't a fetus like Quill. Imprinting is so great. Better than sex, you can become a eunuch for the tribe. "Leah thinks of a memory of her on her knees, sucking my cock. My head is thrown back, and I am moaning. FUCK! She just shared that in pack mind. Seth retches and a chorus of oh shits/this does not end well from the various wolves. Under the weight of the imprint, Sam hurts. It expresses outrage for defiling sister/packmate.

LeeLee! Sam's black wolf roars and charges at me. I duck his lunge. Some part that is and was Sam, the man before the phase loves Leah. He is enslaved to the imprint. His pain fuels his Wolf's rage.

Sam! Listen to me. It was our choice. Think of your Imprint.   I evade his teeth, snapping at my hamstring.

Kick the Baby Alpha's Ass! He needs to learn some respect. Paul cheers.   Quil keeps muttering. Don't die, Don't die, Jake.

Did you mean for that to happen, Leah? Seth shouts and pauses. He is unsure and whines. His concern for his Pack and his disgust of knowing about his sister's sex life war with the Alpha Command. The command is too strong.  

He and Leah follow the trail to the Diner. People are in the parking lot. Seth and Leah see Charlie's cruiser. Chief Jacob -a phantom Bella sighs. A ghost sensation of Bella in my arms.   . . My voice:  But it's possible to love more than one person at a time, Bella. I've seen it in action. That small moment she was mine to protect. She was safe and loved.

Fury.   Fury at fucking magic, which destroyed the girl I loved. It burns through me like the first change. I was not strong enough to save her. I was not strong enough to keep her from him. Sam supported the treaty over her. He pulled me away from the reception. My fury turns toward him.

 I feel a power start to flow in my limbs. It ripples out to the wolves. They all feel it. I grow in height. I  hear and feel my growl shake in my bones. Sam snarls back. Quill and Paul move out of the clearing- they lay down near the trees. This is our fight. 

Sam lunges again. He slips in the wet grass. I twist to grab his left leg and throw him to the left. His leg snapped in my jaws. He gets up and puts a tentative weight on the injured leg. My muzzle curls back to expose pearl-white canines. Ears shoved forward; tail held high, I circle Sam.

Both wolves paced stiffly, tails lashing as we waited for the other to make a move. I am aware of the treacherous nature of the wet ground we stalk upon. If I set my weight wrong, I could end up slipping and provide the one fatal opening for Sam to win this fight. Sam lunges again. I slap him hard with my claws. His head turns with the blow, and I use the opportunity to grab his throat.

Submit! I yell at Sam. He growls back at me, his refusal.

Submit! My teeth embed into his throat. One pull or slight shake of my head, Sam's life would be over.

What do we do? The trail continues into the parking lot of the Diner. Seth is still torn between continuing the trail and running back. Leah is waiting for the result of this fight. I can feel fear, hope, and shame within her. Some part of her wants me to pull back with my teeth still clamped. She wants the torment over for her or Sam. But, not today; I am no one's instrument today.

Submit! The Alpha command comes through the Pack's mind.   It ripples out like a stone tossed into a still pond. I feel the wolves calm and yield. All the wolves fall to their stomachs and roll over except Sam. Sam blink as his Wolf tries to fight the command. His human self tries to rail against the order. His body sags. I feel the fight leave him.

Alpha. The Pack mind whispered. It is a hum.

They are waiting. Fuck! I can't even vote, and they are waiting. Waiting on me, I take a deep breath.   I release Sam. He stands up. His eyes are lowered.  

Seth, phase and follow the trail as a person. See where it leads away from the Diner and then phase back. Sam and Paul go home and back up Jared and the pups. It is not a vampire, and it took out two. We have to protect our people. Embry, Quil, and I will go back up, Leah and Seth.

Yes, Boss. Leah watches as Seth runs out of sight. I see it through her eyes. We all do.   He runs back wearing some shorts. Leah crouched down into some shrubs to camouflage. He walks barefoot into the parking lot. He scents the air. Seth follows the scent of pralines to Charlie's cruiser. It is concentrated around Charlie's driver-side door. 

He follows the praline scent and Charlie's through the lot. Another joins them near a blue truck. It is the smell of woodsmoke and seawater. The trail leads Seth up to the door of the Diner. He walks around the door. There is no trail leading out.   I can see Charlie seated at a booth with a large man. It is

a native-looking man I don't know. His hair is in a long braid. 

Does anyone recognize who is with Charlie through Leah's eyes? A chorus of negative answers,

What do I do, Jake? It has gone inside and doesn't lead out.

I heard you, Seth. 

Confusion reigns in the Pack. We heard Seth. We heard him while he was human. All the wolves were talking at once. 

Shut Up, Everyone except Seth!

But what do I do?.

Seth, I heard you. Fuck! You are still human! We all heard you. Why is everyone silent? Shit, I told them they couldn't talk. Shit. Fuck.

Can you see through my eyes? 

Seth is walking the back half of the Diner's parking lot. He is pacing where he can see the door. I can see him through Leah's eyes. But, unfortunately, I can't see through his human eyes.

No. Talk in turn- Not over each other. But, Leah, do you smell, hear, or see anything unusual?

Embry runs up to the side of Quil and me. We are full out running to the Diner.   I  look over at Quil.

No, Jake. I am split in my mind. I  am getting shades of Leah's emotions: joy, sadness, pain, and a tinge of arousal. I so do not want to deal with that issue right now.

What do you think, man? Quill and I glance at Embry.

They need to hold tight. We will be there soon. Embry does not even break his stride.   I turn to Quil.  What do you think?

 We need multiple eyes on whatever this is. We can't send two wolves against an unknown. Seth is still young. Quill is relaxed in his tone.

I nod my furry head. Agreed.   I will phase and walk with Seth into the Diner.  

Why? Embry was curious. We all skidded to a stop.   I was quick to my two feet and pulled on my shorts within a heartbeat. 

You and Leah are two of the fastest. Quil is pretty vicious. Seth has likely been spotted.   We can play it off that I was meeting him for breakfast with the rest of the townsfolk and Charlie.

I need confirmation that they can hear me when not phased. Did you get all that Quill? 

Quill does a low yip. Yes, Boss.

I walk fast out of the forest towards Seth. Seth opens the door, and I hear the tiny tinkle of the bell. I step in first. s I enter, there is a low rumble of the regular breakfast crowd—scents of cooking bacon, pancakes, and coffee. There are nineteen people in the Diner right now, including the waitress and the cook. 

Charlie is sitting on a booth bench with a native American man with a long braid is laughing at something with his finger pointed. A twenty-something teenager is direct across from them with spiky black hair and blue eyes flick up to me. I  would have thought of them contacts, but I could see the pupils grow. His smile gets broad and points to us. Charlie turns his head. Charlie's smile dies.   Spiky hair asks who I am.

"You can't come in here, No shirt. No shoes. No service. The lone waitress points with the towel she is using to wipe the counter. I hear Charlie tell him that we are boys from LaPush.

"Can we get an order to go?" I am trying to find a reason to stay. The scent trail leads off towards where Charlie is seated. I hear a raven's caw. My head turns to the call. It came from the booth. The native man asks if Charlie has any ties to the reservation. The waitress sighs and puts down her towel. 

"Don't come any with those feet!" I look down. My feet. They are caked in mud. I almost miss Charlie telling them that the big one is Bella's best friend, Jake. The smaller is the son of his late friend Harry. Charlie must be pissed at Dad. He did not mention Billy with me at all. I don't know what's up with Sue either. He only said Harry for Seth. The masochistic part of me holds on to the flicker of being named Bella's best friend  Spiky hair smiles into his coffee. 

"You got any money in those shorts?" Shit. I start patting down my pockets. Charlie heard that, and he straightened up.

"Nadine, get the boys whatever they want." He grabs his wallet, pulls out three twenties, and stands up.  e turns to the booth    tilts his head to the native man and the spiky hair in turn   hanks for the breakfast Doc.   hope to see you around    was nice meeting you, you, Robin."

Robin and the Doc call out their goodbyes to Chief Swan.

He walks to Nadine. Charlie hands her the cash. He looks me in the eyes. He looks so tired. Ashen and diminished, it hurts to see. " Charlie" 

"Jake. You need to put on a shirt, son.  

"Yes, Chief." Charlie shuffles out with Seth holding the door. 

"What do you want to order?" the waitress flips her pad to a new ticket. She taps her pen. I give her a blank look. Food Jake!.

"Four of your flapjack specials." Spiky hair, aka Robin, stands and drains his coffee.

"What type of meat?" The Doctor stands and drops a handful of bills

"Two bacon and two ham." They start walking towards us.

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Two scrambled with cheese and two over easy." The men stop. Are they waiting for the waitress to leave to pass by?

"Fifteen minutes." The waitress turns on her heel, and stars call out to the short-order cook. The Doc is six feet. So he would be typically tall unless you are a wolf. Robin is Seth's height. 

"I am Robin Goodfellow. " His accent is something British, but it has a singsong quality. The dude holds out his hand.   I try to take a sniff of the air as subtle as possible: strawberries, pralines, and a sort of peppery spice.   His is the scent from the burned vamps. Suppress a growl, but my teeth bare for a moment.   His grin is wider.   I take his hand. His skin is cooler than mine, but not cold one cold.   It feels human.

" Jacob Black" Robin holds his hand out towards Seth. Don't move. 

"Seth Clearwater, are you new to Forks?" Seth leans and offers his hand. Robin takes it, but it the Doc that speaks for him.

"No, Robin is just wandering through. I am Dr. Ash Tulukaruq," His eyes are dark like a jet stone. "I may be new to Forks. "

I look at him in confusion. Dr.Tulukaruq smiles. " I just interviewed at Forks Hospital yesterday. I am interviewing to replace Dr. Cullen. " 

Seth and I each shake the Doctor's hand. Tulukaruq is well-muscled, but he is not broad. He is built for running, not power. His fingers are long and thin. Tulukaruq smells of wood smoke and seawater. Hear a chuckle of a raven. Tulukaruq's gaze is steady. 

"I must dash, Tulukaruq. " Robin turns to the door. Then, quirking his head to the side at Tulukaruq and a little bow? "I will give your love to my family. Under your blessing." 

"Please do. Tr vel safe and swift. Un l next time," they clasp forearms. Rob n waggles his eyebrows at Seth before he saunters out.    He stands just outside the door and stretches. 

Follow the Spiky Hair. I hear and feel the wolves agree.

"You interviewed at the Hospital?" I watch Robin roll his shoulders through the glass door while I'm speaking to the Doctor. I jerk my head towards Robin's back like a pointer. "You have known him long?"

"I interviewed at the Hospital"   Tulukaruq is looking at us with a tilt to his head ." So yes, I  have known Robin for a long time."

Tulukaruq smiles and swings an arm in an arc." You are from La Push. I hear the Chief of the Tribe is a storyteller. The old tales told around their bonfires. I am interested. This is because, I too, am a storyteller.  

I nod my head e mention my dad gets the Wolf to take a stern glance. Tulukaruq hands me a card. Robin starts walking to the one side where there is no wolf. 

"Invite me some time. We will trade stories." Tulukaruq walks out to a blue pickup and starts it up. He waves to us from the cab then drives off.

Jake!   The spiky-haired guy lost us.

Fuck.

Chapter Text

August 17th, 2010 Rio DeJaneiro 11:17p.m.

Once you cared about a person, it was impossible to be logical about them anymore.

I open my eyes. I am about to scream because someone is walking to my left. A man turns to me and makes a shushing sign. His eyes are indigo. Robin’s eyes in a different face. He is tall, lean and his black hair lays straight like a curtain to his midsection. He is wearing a broad circlet.   A braid of silver with a diamond. He points. I turn and see Titania is asleep in a chair to my left. The man is pulling a shawl up over her, tucking it close. He turns to me and bows. I see a touch of silver streaking through his hair. His brows are straight and full. 

“I am Oberon, Isabella. “his voice is deeply melodic, like a song of sadness. I feel its pull. 

“Bella, my name is Bella. Are you my Great Grandfather?” I whisper.

“I am, my Dear One.” There is silence. He looks uncertain of what to do or say. I know that feeling. I take pity on this king.

“Tell me a story, Please?” I reach out with my uninjured right hand. He walks over to take it.   He kisses the back of my hand. Oberon looks at my face the entire time. He seems ready for me to tell him off. I decide that I don’t want to. He puts his other hand on top to hold. His voice is still low, but it carries.

“Let me tell you the story of Rhiannon, the daughter Titania and I lost to death in her crib. The tale of how the birth of Robin ended our love but began our friendship. The story of which a playwright mistook and the legend has become more real than the truth.”

He speaks to me. He pauses whenever he sees a question in my eyes. I end up comparing the faces of my great-grandparents in my mind. Titania’s face holds the echoes of smiles. His face has echoes of scowls. I think he doesn’t smile much as a habit. My questions and reactions are rewarded by seeing what must be a rare occurrence.

His smile is a moon on a cold, clear night. Brilliant in its radiance. I feel peaceful. I drift off.   I dream of a baby with verdant green eyes and hair black as the night sky. I see two dark-haired twin boys taking her hands and proudly walking her to her waiting father. The mirrored boys are beaming at the accomplishment of their little sister. Her giggles make them puff their little chests out. The father catches her up and spins her, so her toes sway even when he stops the movement, A gentle rebuke from the mother who drapes her hair to tickle the little girl in copper, gold, and red strands. The little girl is placed on the ground, and she drops to her knees. She crawls after her older brothers for speed.

The kisses to three little foreheads. A gathering of various beings for politics. A tedious event made joyous by dancing with plans for the seduction of their spouse by themselves—the promise of more of this idyllic life. The hurried rituals of goodbye seem only to enhance the yearning. A revelry of love and desire. Bone deep contentment in a soft bed; the tranquility rent in pieces by a shrieking wail. A small body so cold that no amount of magic or tears could wake. Tears flow in my sleep—this is the tale of Rhiannon. The daughter lost.

 Yemayá came in the night. Her words run like rain over a window sill. She wrapped more gauze and tape while Oberon chatted. I wanted to scratch under my splint. Yemaya put even more gauze to block me. Titania, startled, noted what was happening and returned to sleep. 

Oberon distracted me by singing a song whose refrain was the Rose of Innismoore. I dreamed then of the music. A fairy lord found love passing by a village well. He was smitten and pursued her. His long dark head with her red curly head tucked under his chin. He wooed her with flowers, poetry, and magic. She was distracted by a mortal man. He cursed her to forgetfulness for infidelity. Her friends rallied and saved her memories. He slunk away in shame for his actions. He returned on her deathbed to declare his love eternal and offered to take her to Fairy. She announced her love and died. It hurts my heart to see their pain.   I have an itching, squirming sensation under my splint. I desperately want to scratch. It wakes me up. 

“Why do you not seek the full rights of our treaty against the Vampires?” Oberon’s voice is a rumble.

A sigh, a sound of steps, and a breath in. “I am trying not to repeat the mistakes of our past. We . . .”

A growl interrupts. “They tasted the blood of our family. They seek to change her. They. . .”

“Oberon, please. Let me finish.” Several heartbeats.

“Please continue.”

“We lost Rhiannon to fate. Gryffud was lost to our adherence to tradition. Bran is as good as lost to me because I learned too late from my mistakes with the Rose. He resented the leeway we gave Gryffud when even then we mucked it up for his brother. Robin, almost too late, learned of my love of him for fear of overstepping my place. Our only grandson does not know us as his family. He is adrift in the world without his friends and family. Our great-granddaughter lies there injured and heartsick.”

My heart hurts at her words. Is that true about Charlie? I know he was furious with Billy for not searching for Jake. I thought Billy and Charlie would patch things up? Charlie always had Billy and the tribe- no matter where I was.   I crack my eyes, and I see them standing close. His jaw is clenched with his eyes closed tight. Her hand is over his heart. Her face is pleading.

“In this world, I tell others how to repair their relationships, but I have not repaired my own. I want Bella in our lives – all our lives. For that to happen, she must be given love and respect. She must be given the freedom to choose and have those choices respected. Please trust me?”

Guilt flares in me. She wants to respect my choices. My choices have me abandoning everyone else for Edward and the Cullens. I think of Charlie’s lonely life going forward if I continue and change with Edward. Renee, my flighty mom, never to sit with me in the sun. Jake and the Pack who fought hard for me to live. Oberon rocks on his feet. He slowly opens his eyes and gives her a tight smile. “I do. I want her safe. I want him safe.”

“Thank you.” She whispers. “I do too. I want them both safe. We can’t just barge in and take over.” 

She sighs and withdraws her hand. “Carys will be wondering where you are. You must go. “ 

He nods his head and turns to look at my bed. He sees me looking. “How long have you been awake, my Dear One?”

“Not long; who is Carys?” That should distract him. Oberon blinks slowly. He straightens his shoulders.

“She is Robin’s mother and my Current Consort.” He bows low to Titania. “May I kiss your cheek in parting, Bella?”

I smile. I recognize he is trying. “Yes, please.”

He hurries to my side—a brush of lips to my left cheek.  “Dan eich nendith, fy annwyl un.   Under your Blessing, My Dear One.

“Dan eich nendith, Hen-daid.  Under your blessing, Great Grandfather.” A smile blooms on his face at my words.   I blink, and he is gone. 

“Where? How? “ 

Titania chuckles. “He is the King of Unseelie.”

She tucks my blankets in around me. “What questions do you have? I will answer as I am able.”

“What do you mean you are able?” my eyes squint. I don’t trust that statement.

“I know and can express only what I have experienced. I can tell you my thoughts and reasons for actions, but I cannot tell you more than that. I can tell you the actions of others and things they expressed, but it was still my eyes that saw and ears that heard them.” Oh. She’s saying she is not a mind reader. Why so specific? I guess I am used to Edward and Alice.

“That’s fair. “I think a moment. I think of Charlie and am angry on his behalf. “What was all that about my grandfather? Why were you not there for Charlie and me?”

She grimaces.   She holds up her wrist. It is a bare wrist with a small hand—the hand clenches in a fist. A shackle appears on the wrist. “This is the mark of a Tylwyth Teg who has chosen to be bound to mortality. The binding has two common forms. One form, the binding, is locked into a mortal soul. The soul passes, and the binding is unlocked.”

Tears form. She twists her wrist to show the shackle. “Your grandfather chose this one. It is a prison. It is locked without a key. The will can only break it of both Thrones. “

“Why did he choose that one? Why didn’t he want it broken?” Titania shudders and chokes out a sob. Then, she pours tears and takes a shuddering breath.

“There were reasons for his youth. She wanted to live and grow old with her family. As he grew older, I wanted to have Gregory return to Fairy as you knew him. I wanted you all in Fairy.” She paces. “Your grandmother was too far gone with dementia to accept a life in Fairy. We are bound by will and intent. Your grandfather would not go without her. “

“Was that all?”

“No, the prospect disrupted me, Oberon, Bran, and Robin. Oberon was caught on its appearance on his court and his own actions with Carys. Bran . . . Bran was more personal. I had objected to Bran’s love of Rose of Innismoore. My interference .  . . I told her of a war that Fairy would take no part in. We would be apart from them for an untold amount of time. She moved on with a mortal while he could not appear to mortals. At his return, he cursed her when he learned of her new love. I aided those that returned her memories. I forced Oberon to hear Rose’s final choice in our presence. Bran’s actions caused her to reject him. He returned to her at the end of her days. The Rose was too far gone. You have to be fully in your mind to accept the gift.  .  This lead him not to agree to an exception for his brother when his own heart was denied. “

“Why do I remember you at all?” she tucks her hair behind her ears. They look more pointed, and her eyelashes thicker. Her hair doesn’t so much brighten, but it is as if the drabber color runs off, +like hot fudge on a Sunday. As a result, her face takes on a more golden hue. Her skin doesn’t sparkle like the vampires but shimmer like burnished gold.

“Robin and I would visit as we could. We were united in our love for family. I had to maintain the law and was therefore constrained my visits to infrequent trips. He had to keep from conferring the appearance of Oberon’s will on his actions. “

She wipes her cheeks. She smiles, looking at a point beyond me. “Gregory knew of the strife in the family. He asked us to stay away. “

“He asked you?” She nods, wiping her cheeks again. What the hell? Why?

“My son was dying. He asked me to leave you and your father to mortal life. I agreed. I hated it. I begged him not to ask it of me. In the end, I yielded to his wish. We left you to mortal life. “

I start to cry. How different would my life have been just with her presence? With the company of more family? It is not even the magic that I am mourning. I remember the feeling on my grandfather’s lap and being sung to while being fed a treat. The welcome of a smooth cheek wiggling so more of my sticky kisess would cover—the laughter and love of that moment. I felt treasured. What about Charlie?

What memories did my father hold that he did not know?   How different would he be? Would Charlie be more open to affection? I know he loves deeply, but he has a hard time expressing it. Could he have been different? Would my parents’ marriage have survived if someone else took on the burden of care for my grandparents? My dad, who is so responsible and easy-going, had to hold his parent’s hands as they slipped away while fighting for visitation with me. How would he survive my loss? I think of the dream of Rhiannon. Charlie is alone.

I lost track of time. Yemayá came and unwrapped my arm. She loosened the splint to look at my healing incisions. The scar for the vampire bite was red and raised. It had made half-moon ridges on my arm with curled in edges. I want to scratch, but Titania holds my hand.

“Breathe through your nose and out through your mouth, my Dear One.”

Yemayá prods the edge with a tongue depressor. The ridge of tissue flexes like a venus flytrap. I feel tendrils scratching down to the location of the bite from within my arm. The peak pulls further out of my arm. I could see raw skin from the movement.   A whimper comes out of my throat. 

“The parasitic organism is being encapsulated and expelled. It is almost ready. “Yemayá hums.   She starts to splint my arm and cover it with bandages.

“Ffycin anghredadwy!” Titania mutters. Idly, I wonder why my mind translates the words of my Fairy family. Some childlike part of me is amused that my great-grandmother just said fucking unbelievable. I feel a little sick.

“Any guess to how much longer before you can remove it ?” I want it gone. I want to rip it out right now. Titania holds my other hand in a steel grip. The bandage wiggles till Yemayá cage it with the pressure of the gauze. 

“I am thinking about tomorrow morning. We still need your nature reinforced so that it doesn’t try to dig its way back in.” Yemayá discards gloves and the depressor in the medical waste bucket.   I start to shudder. I can’t seem to stop.   Yemayá prepares a syringe. Titania shakes her head no. Titania starts singing the lullaby, Suo Gan. My shudders begin to subside as Titania winds down the song. 

A knock rumbles at my door.   A teenage girl enters. Her black hair is emo rockabilly bouffant with ice blue streaks. She has a rhinestone butterfly over one ear.   She has heavy eyeliner and is wearing clunky boots.

“Hi, NAIN!”

“Willow Goodfellow! You are supposed to be in Texas!” Titania scoffs at the new arrival.

“I played hooky to meet my Cousin.” She grins so vast her nose wrinkles. Yemayá snorts in laughter. Titania sighs. 

“Bella Swan, may I introduce your second cousin, Willow Goodfellow. Willow Goodfellow, please meet Bella Swan. “

Chapter Text

August 17th -12: 12p.m LaPush

Sometimes I’m afraid that I’m losing myself.

I want to go run back to the cabin and hide.  I can not.  I took Alpha.  Or my wolf took Alpha; I don’t know or care. I am now the one in charge.  Total charge of the wolf pack, I can not vote.  I can not legally buy booze.  I am still a truant delinquent in the eyes of the state.  In the eyes of the Spirits, I am man enough to be the executioner of leeches and head a war band. Woohoo!  I pound my head on my kitchen table.

“ I don’t think that is going to solve anything, son.”  My dad’s voice tries to engage me in humor.  “ The table will give out before any sense is knocked in.”

“Maybe if I hit it hard enough, it will be like the series Lost.  We are all dead, and this is the afterlife.”

“You want to wake up dead?”

“It might improve things.” My tone is flat. It had been a shit storm of a day.

“Tell me about it.” Billy’s voice is soothing.  I want to be a little boy again and crawl into his lap.  I haven’t really been a little boy since Rach and Reebs left for college.  I became responsible for his care.  It has not really let up since.  I start to tell my dad about the day.

After Robin or Spiky Hair, as I called him in my head, disappeared in front of the three wolves who were watching. It has been nonstop stress. I couldn’t just run out of the diner.  I already was the source of gossip in the town for the scene at Bella’s wedding after being gone for months.  Regular folks did not know that the Cullens were corpses and the local reservation kids turned into giant ass wolves.  My dad was the chief of the tribe, and Charlie was the chief of police.  Him buying us breakfast and us running out would cause gossip about Charlie. What could I do? 

I know what I did.  I waited for the food.  Charlie had paid for it. I would waste the Cullen’s money all day and night.  I could not waste anything of Charlie’s.  He had made up fliers while I was gone and distributed them himself.  He had and has no clue.  He just does what he can for those he loves. 

 Besides, I figured we could sit around outside near the diner, eat, and talk about what happened.  I was not ready to go back to the Rez and the rest of the Pack. The flapjack specials all came with a drink.  Ya for the combination of meals!   Nadine asked if I wanted coffee to go.  After I made a face, she poured four giant sodas and put them in a drink carrier.     Seth and I walked to the forest near the Diner.  I handed the bag off to Embry and set down the drinks.  I knew Seth hadn’t eaten since he came to the cabin.

“You guys grab some food out of here. “ I pinched my nose.  I still had the edge of a headache. How did I want to proceed?  I heard the bag rustling.  “Embry, you were closest.  Tell me what you saw.”

Embry had half a 10-inch flapjack in his mouth.   He swallowed.  He downed a quarter of his soda to get some liquid in his throat.  “ I watched Spiky Hair come out of the Diner.  You said to follow him.   He started doing these stretches like he was getting ready to run.  “

I nodded my head along with his story.  Leah was looking at me, drinking a soda.  Awkward. I would have a conversation with her after this.  I would send the other wolves on to Sam and Emily.  Shit, I had to find a Beta. 

“The native guy came out of the Diner.  He walked to his truck, started it, and waved goodbye.  Spiky Hair walked over to the diner's side near the dumpster out of everyone’s line of sight.  I swear he waved as he turned the corner.  I ran over, and he was gone.  I smelled every inch around the area.  Hell, Quill did too.  No trace.  “ 

Leah scoffed.  Seth look flummoxed.   Embry and Quill were defiant.

“You need to phase and show me “   I needed to see with my own eyes.   We gathered up our trash.   The guys and I turned away from Leah, shucked clothes, and all of the wolves shifted.  I watched through Embry and then Quill’s eyes the same version of events.  Robin came out of the Diner.  Quill saw part of Seth through the door.  Robin did his stretches.  The Doctor came out and went to his truck.  He started the truck, chuckled, and waved to Robin or us.  It was hard to tell.

Robin started for the side of the Diner out of sight for the wolves.  He did this little wave and turned the corner. He was gone in a blink.   The wolves rushed over.  There was no trace.  I saw Embry and Quill try to scent a trail.  All they got was the smell of a dumpster in August.   Nasty. All the wolves at the Diner and LaPush groaned at the smell of memory.  That is not coming out of my nose anytime soon.

“Well, shit.  He really did disappear” Leah’s tone was dry.  Various jeers at Leah and the situation passed through the link.

Embry was pissed. “ What?  You think I am incompetent?”

“Yes,” Leah’s tone had a challenge. Embry snarled.  Both their hackles raised.  They started to circle in polar orbits.  Someone should stop this.  Shit, I had to stop it.

“Quit it!”  The Alpha command stopped them both short., “This is crap.  We need to find out more information. Any ideas?“

“Why don’t we google them?” Colin pipes up.  That brought me up short.  I was so used to going to the Elders to research foes or relying on our senses.  Why didn’t we search the web for them?  Isn’t just about everything on the internet now?  It is part of why we have to be so careful.  One slip, we would have a website and our own monster hunters like Bigfoot.  Sigh, that guy told me his name, and I had a card for the Doctor. 

“Why would you think that would work?”  and derisive snorts come from various pack members.

“Great idea, pup!” Embry is excited.  I am too. 

“Colin, go to your house, get your computer up and search.  We can’t see what you find immediately, but we can hear your thoughts.”  Colin yipped in agreement.  Seth phased back.  He picked up our trash and threw it in the dumpster.   I really loved that kid sometimes.  He just does what he thinks is right.   

I told the rest of the pack we would meet at Sam’s while Colin went to his house.  It seemed to take forever for Colin to think back at us. It is telepathy.  Telepath back to us?   Fuck if I know what to call it, I can’t even decide what to call it in my own head.

“Hey, Jake!   What is the first name to check? “

“Robin Goodfellow’

“Is that Goodfellow one or two words?”

“Try One?”

“The first result is Wikipedia Puck (folklore) – It says in English Folklore:  Robin Goodfellow, is a domestic and nature sprite, demon, or fairy. “

There were choruses of no way, demons, and fairy in the Pack mind.   

“Hey, what else does it say?” 

“It goes on to say where he appears.  It describes Robin Goodfellow is a drudging fiend and merry domestic fairy, famous for mischievous pranks and practical jokes. At night-time, he will sometimes do little services for the family over which he presides. The Scots call this domestic spirit a brownie; the Germans, Kobold or Knecht Ruprecht. Scandinavians called it Nissë God-dreng. Puck, the jester of Fairy-court, is the same.”

“So are we thinking Tinkerbell took out two vamps as a little service?   Did Charlie give him a beer or something?”  Embry is laughing.

I glance at Embry.  He looks back evenly.  “Colin, what else does it say about Fairies?”

“A fairy (also fay, fae, fey, fair folk, or faerie) is a type of mythical being or legendary creature found in the folklore of multiple European cultures (including Celtic, Slavic, German, English, and French folklore), a form of spirit, often described as metaphysical, supernatural, or preternatural.  There are a whole bunch of root words that make fairy possible.  English: faerie, meaning "realm of the fays"; In old French, a faie or fee was a woman skilled in magic.  Latinate fay is not related to the Germanic fey (from Old English fǣġe), meaning "fated to die", Yet, this unrelated Germanic word "fey" may have been influenced by Old French fae (fay or fairy) as the meaning had shifted slightly to "fated" from the earlier "doomed" or "accursed." Various folklore traditions refer to fairies euphemistically as wee folk, good folk, people of peace, fair folk, or Tylwyth Teg in Welsh.”

“That is a great lesson in history.  Baby Alpha, how do we kill it?”

“Paul, we don’t know that we do need to kill it. Shut it!  What else you got, Colin?

Two neat facts to start:  fairies are divided into the Seelie Court (more beneficently inclined, but still dangerous) and the Unseelie Court (more malicious). While fairies of the Seelie Court enjoyed generally playing harmless pranks on humans, those of the Unseelie Court often brought harm to humans for entertainment. Both could be dangerous to humans if offended.”

“So no fart jokes?” Cries of Quill, dumbass, and idiot abound. I growl.  Colin continued.

“It is also believed that to know the name of a particular fairy, a person could summon it and force it to do their bidding. The name could be used as an insult towards the fairy in question, but it could also rather contradictorily be used to grant powers and gifts to the user.”

The excitement from the Pack, I cautioned them we don’t know if this is true.  We do know it is a place to start.   I tell Colin to google Ash Tulukaruq.  I spell out the name. 

“Raven tales.” 

“What?”

“The first response is Raven tales.  Tulukaruq is the name for the Raven in Inuit tribe.” 

“When we were in the Diner, I heard a Raven or a Crow calls. “ I feel the frisson of the pack’s excitement. “  FUCK!  What else does it say?”

“Among Inuit tradition, the owl, fish, and raven are of greatest prominence. Ravens are also common in the Inuit artwork, and they have several stories that tell of Raven's birth which is often juxtaposed with the owl with whom Raven shared a deep friendship.”

“Birdie buddies” I nipped Quil’s leg.  He yipped and showed his neck.

“The Inuit say that Raven was born out of the darkness. He was weak and lost. As he began traveling aimlessly experiencing the world, he realized that he was the Raven Father, Creator of All Life. Once he realized who he was, he gathered up his strength and flew out of the darkness to a new place, which he called earth, but he was still alone, so he decided to create plants. As he flew around exploring this new world, he came upon a man whom the legend claims were the first of the Inuit people. Raven fed the man and taught the man to respect the world around him. Soon after, a woman came to be, and Raven taught both of them how to cloth themselves, build shelter, and make canoes to travel the water. As the two bred and spawned children, Raven cared for their children and educated them as he had done before.”

“ So bigger and blacker bird was eating hash with a fairy comedienne? What does that mean?”

“I dunno Embry.  We gotta think about this. “

I phased and put on my shorts. Embry, Quill, Leah, and Seth followed me in phasing and walking to Sam’s Porch.  Colin ran out of his house and began a fast walk to Sam’s.  He was trying not to run, but it was more conspicuous than if he just ran. He looked like a mall walking mom. The other wolves are lounging on Sam’s porch.  Paul gave me his shit-eating smirk.   I glared hard at him.  He shivered and slowly lowered his eyes.

“All the patrol schedules will continue as they have been laid out.  I will get with Sam, and my second will get with Jared to learn the ins and outs of leading the pack and dealing with the Council. “

“Who is your Second?” Leah is smiling.  This is going to suck.  She is a great fighter, but we would not work seamlessly.  It would create dissention in the pack.  She seems to want to continue with our sexual relationship.  That cannot happen.  It would make too many blurred lines in the pack. The resentment of that perceived slight is going to be difficult enough to navigate.

“I name Embry Call, my Second.  The pack should be lead by the two grandsons of Ephraim Black.”

Gasps. Yeah.  Embry is my half brother.  I decided to throw that out in the world.

Chapter Text

Bella’s room is empty.   Her cork board is gone with all the moments of life here in Forks:  a picture of Jake and Bells as kids.   It is one of my favorite photos. Sarah Black took it with just a beat-up family camera.  The setting was early evening, and The sun was going down on First Beach.  Bella and Jacob were filthy and smiling near a large piece of driftwood. Bella and Jacob were playing in the waves previously.  Jake had his arm around Bella to warm her up. The graduation program was attached as a keepsake.  The prom picture of her and that Cullen kid.   Candid shots of her friends at school.  Angela Webber wrinkling her nose and flashing a peace sign at the photographer.  Jacob holding Bells at a bonfire while Billy tells the legends of the Quileute tribe. 

The fairy lights that were strung up over her bed are no more.  It looks like it did before Bella let me know she was moving back.  The room looks like a grave.   Something is wrong.  I know it. I shove that thought aside.  I sigh.  I just have to keep reminding myself that it is just me being worried for nothing.  I miss my girl. This is just the normal pangs of a father letting go.  I keep repeating that to myself.  Maybe I will believe it. I shut the door.    I do not know if I will go back to that room again.   Maybe time to sell this house? I don’t need a yard.  I just need a place to sleep and hang up my fishing gear.

All the time I missed with my Bells while she was growing up haunts me now.  I fought as much as I could without making Bells pay emotionally for it.  I saw it too much as a cop. I saw kids abused and neglected  Parents arguing over custody; that was an ugly truth which often turned violent.  . I hate to say it.  I failed Bells by not suing for custody. It seemed like Renee knew when I had hit my limit. I was going to have my lawyer file in Riverside.  It was then she moved to Arizona because “it felt right."  Retainers are expensive and non-refundable. 

Renee stayed gone.  She didn’t really rally despite the sun.  Moving back in with her mother, ground her down.  Yes, she seemed cheerful.  Renee still chased every rainbow without thinking or looking where she was going.  Renee would not look for the cliffs because she was chasing the pot of gold. Renee stayed with her mother in Riverside while she got a degree.  Bella was cared for while Renee studied and partied. I gave Renee everything she asked for as long as she did not deny me, Bella.

I lived fully only in the single month each year that Bella came home.  It was just barely more than existing the rest of the time at first.   Billy and Sarah helped.  Fishing and time spent with the Blacks kept me from floating away on the breezes.  I loved those kids with all the devotion I could not give to Bella daily.  The smile of Jacob, even as an infant, could light up a room.  He became enamored of Bella as soon as he saw her.  Bella was his guiding star even as a toddler.

I held on to those moments as I struggled to help my dad with his physical disability while my mother lost her mind to dementia.  They died before Bella reached five years old.  My dad died six months after my mom.  I was alone.  I ate at the diner when I wasn’t at the Clearwaters or Blacks.   I wouldn’t eat otherwise.  I just did not care after my parents died.  Renee’s calls for help kept me from my revolver in my mouth.   I don’t judge Renee for trying to find happiness. I bailed Renee out to keep Bella from ending up in Care in Arizona and California. I just wanted Bella safe and healthy. 

  Life and death are expensive.  Bella had never guessed why my house had never changed from when Renee was here. Bells is worth it all.  She has never connected the dots about how her mother manages her own life and money.  My daughter took over paying her mother’s bills at age 10 because Renee kept getting her lights turned off.  I would pay to get them turned on for Bella. With Bella taking over finances, I did not have to stage rescues for Renee. That freed up funds so I could be putting away for Bella’s future.    Bella hit 14 and said she was staying with her mom year-round.  I had to book trips there to see her.  Bella stayed caring for Renee till Renee married Phil.  I was happy for Renee. 

Happier that Bella decided her last two years of school would be here in Forks. She was coming home.  I could be the dad I wanted to be.  I wanted to grab my little girl and push her back to being a kid.  I did not want her to be responsible anymore.  Bella got here, and I recognized how far from me she had gotten.  

Her responsible side started to take over.  I wanted to push back.  I wanted her to try and be a kid.  That did not make her comfortable.  So I started letting her take over things; I should have said no. I did not want to press Bells too much.  I was too afraid she would choose to go to Florida.  I was too excited to have her here.  I did not want to frighten her the way my devotion seemed to grate on Renee.

Sigh, I need coffee.  I have some in the house, but there is no will to make the pot. I am going to head to the diner. I am going to call Doctor Cullen today.  I know Bells is on her Honeymoon.  I just feel like something is off. I deny it much of the time.  I have had moments where I just feel weird about the Doc and all his kids.  I had been tempted to call in social services because those Cullen kids are dating instead of siblings.  With Esme and Carlisle being so young, those teenagers would end up back in care.   Sigh, never a good thing for a kid to age out of the system. 

Being married at 18, it is not what I wanted for Bella.  I wanted her to explore the world with me as her haven.  I wanted her to take some test flights like a bird trying to leave the nest.  Go so far and come back.  Go so far and come back.  Chuckling, she decided to get married and go to school in Alaska.  Bells assured me she wasn’t pregnant and running.  It is not that I would mind her being a mother.  I just did not want her to close off her options before she understood what they were.

She assured me she was making the right choice. She is as stubborn as I am and as reckless as her mother in some ways.  I told her I supported her no matter what.  I do.  I will always be here for my Bells. She decided she was going to do all the adult milestones in the summer.  Graduate High School, Get Married and leave for College. The middle, I wanted to move to the last. 

That wedding: extravagant does not even cover it.  I wanted to pay for my daughter’s wedding. The Cullens insisted.  My pride hurts still.   I would have declared bankruptcy two times over for what Alice Cullen picked out.  I thought Bells would want a beach wedding because that was where I remember Bells being happiest.  Casual with a bonfire and the wildflowers I know she loves.  Nope, that was not grand enough for the Cullens.  I like Alice, but the way she took over.  You would have thought it was her wedding.  Bella said she did not care.  She just wanted Edward.   At least it wasn’t drugs, right?

Being Chief of Police, you spend a fair amount of time reading what the politicos are doing that surround your jurisdiction. The Washington House of Representatives is considering two bills regarding cannabis. One would have allowed cannabis sales in state liquor stores, and the other would have decriminalized possession of forty grams or less. Both bills are in committee.  Spokane and Seattle have dispensaries for Medical Marijuana.  I am getting the rumblings of raids to happen.  I can’t help but wonder how this will affect my little town.  I am not a fan of pot.  I like it better than I like speed.  They all can wreck a life.  People can become addicted to anything, even people. 

Sometimes, I wish Bells had found her way into things that I could send her to rehab. It would have been a way to get between her and the Cullens. . I should have sent Bella to treatment when she collapsed into herself after Edward left.  Her screams waking us both up.  I should have sent her to Florida.   She started hanging around Jake and I thought maybe it would work out.  He came back and I lost Bells again.  The Bells I knew: She loves to cook.  She has a goofy sense of humor.  She would get so excited about learning new things.  The Bella that is now:  She doesn’t cook for them due to Edward’s allergies.  She doesn’t laugh as she did.  She only does things that she knows she can do well.  She apologizes all the damn time.

.  I will keep the house to be a safe harbor if she decides to leave Cullen.  I grab my keys and put on my service weapon.   I walk out to my cruiser.  I need to find a new Normal now that Bells would be going straight to college from her Honeymoon.  There are no Blacks and Clearwaters to help this time.  I am still too pissed off with Billy for not really putting much effort into looking for Jake.  I put up flyers. I questioned and checked on anybody that turned up that could remotely be Jake.  Jake just shows up at Bell's wedding like it was nothing.   Visiting Sue, it has gotten complicated.  New or old feelings have come up.  I don’t want to overstep because she is still grieving Harry.  Thinking about her as a woman makes me a creep.

I pull up to the diner.  There is a blue truck that I do not know.  The plates say Alaska. That is a long drive away from home.  Tourist?  Or the new Doctor that was supposed to be interviewing to replace Dr. Cullen? Two men are standing beside it.  One is Native American looking with a long braid.  He has ribbons and decorations down the length.  His hair would be to his behind if loose.  Long hair is a symbol of power to the tribe.   I wonder what it symbolizes to his tribe.  The young man next to him is twenty-something with black spiky hair and indigo eyes.  My father had eyes like that.  I stumble a bit into my cruiser. I straighten with a depreciating laugh.

“You ok there, Officer?” the native man asks.  The young man with the blue eyes had jerked towards me as if he wanted to keep me from falling.

“Sure, Sure.   It is Chief Swann.”  I hold out my hand to shake.  I have spent too much time around Jake and Bells.  They got me saying that.

He takes my hand in a firm grip.“Dr. Ash Tulukaruq and my friend Robin. “ 

I hold out my hand to Robin. He takes it gently with a slight tremor. “You ok there, Robin?”

“Yes, Chief Swan.” He drops my hand and rucks his fingers through his hair.  It stands up even more. The accent is familiar.  It reminds me of when my dad would get tired, and a sing-song quality would come to his voice. “  I am just hungry.”

“Well, why don’t we all go in for some breakfast?  I could treat you guys to some Forks hospitality.”

The Robin kid breaks into an eager grin.  He turns to the diner and puts a hand on his heart.  “Lead the way!”

The Doctor laughs.  His head shakes, and the decorations in his braided hair dance.  “That would be amazing, Chief.  You could tell me all about the fishing and camping opportunities around here if the hospital offers me the job.  “

I laugh.  I start to tell them about my favorite pastime.  The Sol Duc River makes for fiercely cold, miserable conditions.  It also is magnificent for steelhead, Coho, Sockeye, and King Salmon.   I share that I get my love of fishing from my dad.  Robin shares that fishing was something he could enjoy with his father and brothers.  They could *spend hours fishing in rivers together.   It was an activity that did not /*9+lead to any competition between brothers.  He was the youngest.  He always wanted to do as Bran and Griff did, but better.   They celebrated the catches and made the ones that got away even bigger in the retelling to his stepmother.  I envy Robin, his brothers.   It was only me as a boy.  My parents were older when I was born.  They did not think they would ever have children, but I was a happy surprise.  I find out the Doctor was an only.  He had a childhood friend who was like a brother from a different mother, as the kids say these days.

We talk about everything and nothing.  We order food from the waitress Nadine.   I give her my card to cover the meal as soon as we place the order.  Nadine brings me back my card when she brings the meal.  I tip her well.  We all tuck in and trade tales.  It seems Robin has a daughter named Willow in Texas.  He doesn’t see her as often as he likes.  I feel deep empathy for this young man.  He could be me.

“I am sorry to hear that. My ex-wife took my Bella when she was six months old and moved to California. Bells only came back to Forks around 2 years ago to finish High School. Her growing up apart from me is a regret I will always carry.” 

“Well, your daughter is here now.  She goes to college near here?” Ash takes a sip of coffee.

“No, she is going to school in Alaska of all places.   She just got married to her high school boyfriend, Edward Cullen.  The whole family is moving there for an assignment for Dr. Cullen.  “

“That’s rough.”  Ash spears a sausage with his fork. 

Robin looks pensive into his coffee cup.  “Just you around town, Chief Swan?”

“Charlie.  Just me, my parents were only children as well, so no cousins, aunts, uncles, or grandparents for me.  My folks died before Bella turned five so  . . .” I sound pathetic.  I put on a smile.  “ I am friends with the Quileute tribe.   My oldest friend is the Chief:  Billy Black.  He tells the tribe stories at the Bonfires.   His son Jake is Bella’s best friend. They were joined at the hip as kids. Jake was Bell’s shadow.  He has grown into a giant, so now Bell’s would be in his shadow.”

They laugh.  Ash seems interested.  “Do you know the stories of the  Quileute?  “

I take a sip of my coffee and nod. “I could tell you the details, but if you want to hear it.  You need to hear it from Billy.   He is a storyteller.  I can relay the facts.  He can make  you live it.”

“What is Bella going to study, Charlie?”  Robin takes out his phone and fires off a text.

"Dunno and neither does she.   I hope she goes in for something she is passionate about.   She loves literature and was really great at science.  She kept winning the golden onion at school.”  I laugh at the memory of that award coming home.  At least it did before Bella got too wrapped up in Edward Cullen.   We continue talking.  I trade the numbers with them.  They want to go fishing with me. It seems Robins's job has him traveling often; he will be visiting Ash when he gets the job here.  Ash tries to demure.   Robin just grins at him and says he has a feeling it will happen. 

Food is cleared, and we just chit chat till I have to leave for the station.   I hear the bell on the door chime.  Robin points at someone behind me.  Jake and Seth have come in dressed in shorts with muddy feet.  The boys look stressed.  Nadine tries to run them off.  Robin and Ash ask about the boys.  I tell them Jake is Bella’s best friend, and Seth is my friend Harry’s son.   I see Jacob pat his shorts. I grab my wallet.  These may not be my boys, but they are my responsibility.  I gotta go to the station.

Robin and the Doc call out their goodbyes to me. I walk to Nadine. I hand her the cash.  Jake meets my eyes.  He is shaggy-haired and looks a little sick.   I know the boy is hurting.   He is the one I wanted for Bells.  It just wasn’t meant to be.  Sigh, I don’t know what to say to him as he says my name. 

“Jake.  Try to put on a shirt, son. “ It is all got.  

“Yes, Chief.”   I head to the station.  It is a blur of a day.   I try to call the number Edward gave me to reach him or Bella while on the honeymoon.  No answer.   There was some kind of shooting during a gay pride parade that makes me nervous for their safety.   I know Dr. Cullen said it was a private island.   It is still a private island in another country with my only child.    I try Dr. Cullen and get his voicemail.   I leave a message. 

I was called to an accident.   I find a voicemail from Edward when I go to my car to enter the drivers' info into the computer.  He and Bella are fine.  They will call before they leave Brazil.  That does not sit well with me.   I push down my instinct to call immediately back and demand to speak to my daughter. I pull up the date on the computer and start entering in the date of Tuesday, August 17, 2010.

I call the next day to check in with Dr. Cullen since he did not return my call.   He answered and kept repeating the line.  They would call before they left Brazil.  Everything was fine.   Carlisle kept making this sympathetic hmm in the back of his throat.  I try not to judge the Doctor and his family.   I lost my temper. 

“ I don’t give a shit about your assurances Carlisle.  I need to talk to my daughter.  If I can’t hear from Bells directly, I will see what strings I have to pull to get a wellness check on your private island.  Do you understand me?”

“Charlie, please.   Let me work on contacting Bella for you.  I will rectify this.”

“Do it.”  I push the end button with a little too much force.

It is the morning of the 19^th at the butt crack of dawn when I hear someone pounding on my door.  I grab my service weapon and look out the peephole. It is from Robin.  I open the door with my service weapon hidden behind the door. He has facetime up on his phone.  There is a little bouffant teenager with my Bells behind her in a hospital bed.

“Charlie, Bella needs you. “ Robin says simply. 

.

Chapter Text

“I pulled the shirt out now and felt a strange wave of awe. A chill, almost, if I were capable of feeling such a thing. Her uncanny premonitions reached so far, stretched their tentacles so deep into the future that even she didn't understand all the actions she took. Somehow she'd sensed, years before Bella had chosen to come to Forks, that at some point, I would be facing this most bizarre trial.
Perhaps she was omniscient after all.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Midnight Sun Edward about Alice

“Do you want me to braid your hair?”  Willow is talking with a mouthful of oreo.  She was sitting in my hospital bed. We were snacking and chatting. I nod my head, yes.  She squeals.  I am feeling better. No catheter and a shower did wonder for my state of mind. 

   Yemaya took out my catheter and let me shower with help from Titania.  Titania sat outside while I used a walker to get into the shower.  Willow offered to help me dress, but I was not comfortable at first.  They let me struggle. It hurt to try.  I had to ask for help when I could not get my underwear and shorts on.  Willow’s face had such a look of relief when I asked her.

It was so weird to have someone ask me before they did anything.  They did not insist even when I said no. Willow had asked me which set I wanted out of any of the pajamas she had picked out at Titania’s request.  She had three short set choices for me: a silky set that looked ridiculously expensive, a plain cotton button-up pajamas, and a cartoon version.  I picked the Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time.

“How many?” She looks at me, expectantly.  She washes her hand and dries them.  She pulls out a comb and hair bands. She has a tentative smile. “How many braids?”

 I am startled.  “You pick?”

She frowns a little.  “You sound as if you are asking permission to permit me. What do you want?”

I huff.  “One. Can you do a loose dutch braid?”

Willow snorts and rolls her eyes.  She gently starts to comb my hair.  She combs till there are no knots left. 

“Why do you and the rest insist on my stating things a certain way?” She pulls my front part of my hair to start. 

“We are beings of poetry and dreams.  Words are our power and weakness.”

“What does that mean?”    Her fingers are still pulling another section of hair into the braid she is working on.

“What do you know of our kind?” I draw a blank for a moment.

“Um, Little Bunny Foo Foo song, Tinkerbell and the Blue Fairy from Disney, Shakespeare, and Fairly Oddparents.”

Willow giggles and lays her head on top of mine.   “That won’t do at all, Mush.”

She straightens up.  “There are two courts that you will hear interchangeable names.  I am going to give you a quick rundown.  Seelie, the Shining Throne, the Court of Dreams, and the Summer court are the Fairies associated with growth, sunlight, and creativity.  Unseelie, the Obsidian Throne, the Court of Nightmares, and the Winter court are the Fairies associated with loss, darkness, and dark creativity. That is the court Daid rules. What is consistent across all of Fairy, that it is both a realm of existence and people; by the way, Fairy inspires mortals and immortals alike.  We draw them in. Those who cannot create are blind to us. Our presence can fuel great works of art or the latest death machine.  “

“That can’t be me.” I am plain.  I never understood what Edward, Mike Newton, or  . . . Jake saw in me.  It still can’t be that.  I see Willow’s iPhone.  What time is it in Washington?  What happened to Jake after he was thrown out of my reception?  Maybe he is with Charlie? How is Charlie?  I know that Robin delivered the letters to the various covens.   I feel her wrap the hairbands around the end of my braid.

“Do you want to call your daddy?” Willow’s voice has a twang. 

“It would only put him in danger.”  I shrug. I push down the longing to hear my dad or Jake call me Bells.

“That sounds like bullshit.  He has always been in danger since the Cullens came around.  We smell like temptation to them. It is the reason Nain went for the treaty.  She created it to keep Daid from wiping them all out after goblin kin and elf kin were killed. “

“That is ridiculous!”   Willow brings her face to my eye level.  She looks me in the eyes.

“See me.”Two words, they cause a filter to fall away.  Her hair becomes shinier like night drawn silk.  Her pale skin doesn’t sparkle like the Cullens.  It is a pearlescent glow.  Her ears have points.  Her lips become a wine-stained red. 

“Now, see yourself. “She holds up her phone with the camera on.  I see me, but so different.  My skin has the same glow as Willow.  I glow like moonlight.  My hair is warm mahogany, with a strand falling out of the braid to frame my widow's peak.  There are tones of copper and gold that aren't catching alight.  They are the light.  My dull, chocolate brown eyes were the colors of an autumnal forest.  Several hues coming together in a kaleidoscope.

“That isn’t,” I begin to say. She cuts me off.  “That is you. What you think you see normally is an illusion. We have glamour.  It is not to make us pretty or enticing, as the stories say.  It is to make us dull to pass unnoticed.”

I swallow.   All the times, I felt invisible.  It was some kind of defense mechanism.  “Why?”

“Why the glamour? “  Willow bites her lip. “It is an adaptation to try and keep other things from hunting our kind and kin. We smell irresistible to Vampires- like candy-coated crack.  Fairies are nigh immortal and infertile.  Nature made it that way as a balance.  Any harm to any one of our blood, no matter how distant, would cause even the most callous of either court to rage. You, Charlie, and I are the first births in two centuries. ”

“Holy Crow,” I whisper. 

Willow giggled at that.” You say that?”

“I don’t like to swear, ok.  It is something I say. What is wrong with that?” Willow starts belly laughing.

“Bran, our uncle.  . . laughter.  . . his name means raven.” She tries to straight up.  “Holy Uncle!   It is even funnier since he was known as Bran the Blessed in history.  “

It takes me a moment to process.  I burst into laughter.   I laugh with Willow and try to hold my bruised ribs.  Ouch!  I feel the wiggling scrape inside my arm.  My hand shoots towards my bandage. I am going to scratch till the wiggling stops.  Willow grabs my hand.

“No.  “

I try to jerk my hand away so that I can get at the wiggling.  I can see the bandage move.  It moves like a cat lashing its tail. 

“Listen to the Lords and Ladies call their children; in the moonlight. “  Willow sings the phrase.  The wiggling eases.  She repeats the phrase three more times.  The wiggling stops. I no longer feel like tearing into my arm. 

“How did you do that?”  Willow is scowling at the bandage.

“The song hypnotized the parasite.”  Willow held up her index finger to stop my protest.  “ Vampire venom is a parasite.  It kills the host.  It replaces all their cells with its own, turning the skin to marble and replacing all the fluid with venom.  It stops the heart and kills the soul.  The shape of the person’s memories and personality remain. It is why so many of them come back with memory loss.  You will see for yourself when the bandage is removed. “

I am angry and scared. I am gritting my teeth. “It does not destroy the soul!   I have seen it!  Carlisle and the rest of the Olympic coven are good!”

“Why?” Willow arches a brow that would make Mr. Spock off the Original Star Trek proud.

“Why what?”  I try to play dumb.

“Why are they good?”  She fires back.  How dare she?

“They don’t kill people!”  I shout.

“Neither do I or the majority of supernatural beings out there. How does that make them good?”

“They resist the urge to kill by feeding on animals.” My nails dig into my palms—her phone chimes. I can see her contact being as daddy-o.  Robin.

“Many beings feed on animals.  Have any of the Cullens killed humans?” She fires off a text. 

I thought of Edward, Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper.  Poor Jasper.  I grit my teeth.  “They have had slips ups.”

“Slips?  Slips are when you lose your footing, not when you kill another sentient being. Vampires have to feed at least twice a month.  How many months or years did they hunt people?”

“Rosalie killed her fiancée and his friends who raped and beat her to death. “

Willow's eyes go wide, and she looks ill for a moment. “She killed her rapists?  Was he a vampire, and that is how she became a vampire?”

I shift uncomfortably. Saying this out loud, I had to pause. “No, Carlisle turned her to be a mate for Edward.” 

“Someone turned a rape victim so they could be a mate for another vampire?  “ She makes a gagging noise. Her hand goes to her mouth.  I was going to make a snide comment about being dramatic.  I see her grab a cup and pour herself some water.   I feel like I should defend Carlisle.

“Edward is his son, and he was lonely. Carlisle had Esme, so he wanted a mate for Edward.”

Willow waves her hand. “I can’t unpack that right now.  Let's move on.  Who else killed people?”

I sigh.  “Edward. “

“Edward, the one you married.   How long did he hunt people? “  I can’t say.  I can’t say it out loud.  I feel the stirring of something in my arm. 

Willow hums, “How long?  “

“Four years, he hunted people for four years.”  Willow blinks.  I have to defend Edward’s past. “  He only killed bad people. “

“How did he know they were bad? “

“He read their minds.” I am shaking.  “ He can read people’s minds. He can read surface thoughts like how he can track where I have been by those who have seen me. Or he can read deeper into their minds.”

Willow rubs my hand to soothe me. “Ok. He killed at least 48.  Who else? “

Willow has her calculator out.  I don’t want to say it.  She looks at me. “You want to join them.  You want to kill people to live forever, but you can’t actually admit how many they killed to get here.  I know what my dad is.  He is the executioner for both courts. That is lower case courts as in tribunals. He gets sent out when a death sentence has been handed down.  I know what it costs him to do this for the good of our kind. I know what it cost him to protect your father from the vampires that we're searching for his house.”

She leans over me. “ Who else?  How long? “

Her phone is out with the calculator up twenty-four times is ready to go. I sigh, “. Alice, 28 years and Jasper 75 years.”

“672 for the 28.  75 years at least 1800.  “  I gape at the numbers.  The two combined are nearly the population of LaPush.  The reservation is small.  The tribe only has around 3000 people. 

“Were any of them in the modern era?  How many still have living families? “  Willow has to google up on her iPhone. 

“ It was 1950 when they joined the Olympic coven”  I am stunned by the numbers.  I was stunned by the thought of Edward killing 48 people no matter what their crimes. 

“Average age of a parent of a 1^st child was 22.8 in 1950 according to US statistics   Normal US lifespan is 78. For men and 81 for women.  They would have either just died or just died within the last few years a grandparent had they lived.”

“What is your point?”

“My point is that you are just a few years older than me, but you are not thinking all these details out.  I don’t know what the relationship is like with your parents, but running off to join a death cult seems kind of out there. What would you tell someone describing this situation to do? “ 

“They are not a death cu . . .. “  I stop, and I think about it.  If it were anyone else, what would I, as calm, rational Bella tell them to do?  I would tell them to run like hell.  I would not want anyone near anyone who had murdered on that scale.  I could rationalize Rosalie's killing of her rapists, maybe. It would be a crime of passion temporarily insanity deal. I would not rationalize the killing of criminals without a court.  I don’t like the Dexter tv series.  I don’t like movies or comics where the killer kills killers.  It doesn’t sit well with me.  It makes me squirm.  I certainly wouldn’t condone the massive killing of random people which Jasper and Alice did.  It comes to me with a start.  Except it could not be random, the vampires could not draw attention to their kills.  So that left people society would not miss runaways, prostitutes, and the homeless. They can’t turn children.  It doesn’t mean they can’t kill them.  My stomach turns.  Like Victoria and her newborn army, Alice, Jasper, and Edward fed on people like Bree Tanner.  

“I am going to call my dad. “  Willow pulls up facetime. "He is with your dad."  

She is looking at me before hitting the button.  I think about Charlie.  My dad.  I remember the dream of Rhiannon. "Do it."

Chapter Text

Being any kind of happy is better than being miserable over someone you can’t have.  Leah Clearwater Breaking Dawn I

“You know.”  My dad's face pales.  I do.  I know that Embry Call is not just my pack brother.  He is my brother.   I get up and pull the coffee pot off the base.  I need something to do. I think my dad will need a cup of coffee and something to hold on to while we dig this secret out like a splinter. I just freeze there for a moment.

“ I know, and now so does Embry.  “

“How?”

“Tiffany Call was from the Makah tribe.  She moved to La Push when she was pregnant with him.  The Tribe assumed that she had left his father with the Makahs. Then, Embry phased.    I was fairly good at science when I did go to school. “  I let my bitterness out. There was so much I wanted out of my life.

“Go on,”  Billy nods his head.

“Three men could have fathered him as the shape-shifting traits are inherited only within the Quileute tribe:  you, Quil Ateara IV, or Joshua Uley.  Everyone wants to say it is Joshua Uley or Quil Ateara IV.  Not me.  Embry is too strong for being half quillets.  His size and his instincts are almost as strong as mine. Quil is my cousin and full-blooded.  He is weaker than Embry.”

Billy takes a deep breath, “Son, I  . . .”

“I am not your only son.  Whatever you need or want to say to me, it should wait for Embry to get here.  “  I take a deep breath and release it slowly. “I sent him to talk to his mom to get her side before meeting me here.  I chose him as Beta.  He will know what I know as a wolf and as my brother. I choose this as the future for our pack.”

I know Embry.  We had shared the pain of being poor so often.  How often would I trade him a box of mac n cheese for a can of spam to try, and each of us makes a meal at home?  Then I would worry about what the food was doing to Billy?  

I know Embry’s pain and shame of not knowing who his father was. Kids in the tribal school mocked him for being Makah in our lands.  He tried to get his mother to tell him so many times who his father was.  I remember some of the arguments about why they stayed between Embry and his mom.  The pack mind let me see those clearly.

The fact he has to lie about being a wolf does not sit well with me.  His mother may not be Quielette, but she is the mother of a protector.  She deserves to know her son is not a delinquent but a warrior protecting humanity.  I rinse the coffeepot and put it to fill with water while I get the coffeemaker ready. I dump out the old grounds put a new filter, and measure out the grounds.   I pour the water into the reservoir and turn on the maker.   I hear the hum as it starts to heat then pump over the grounds. Know my dad is thinking over what I have said. 

“Where have you been since Bella’s wedding?” Billy rubs his hands over the armrests of his wheelchair.  Bells.  She is dead. I feel a tug on my heart to hope.  I know it in my head. Sigh. Time for honesty, is that not what I blasted the leech for? 

“Leah and I were at a Cabin the Leech rented as a parting gift for me. “  Billy’s eyes narrow. He snarls, almost like a wolf. “Parting gift.  What were you and Leah doing alone all this time?”

I huff a bitter laugh.  “We were doing what two hurt people alone in a cabin with enough alcohol to poison a platoon of marines would do.  We had sex and drank ourselves stupid.”

Billy’s shoulders slump.  He looks like I punched him. His voice is quiet. “Did you use protection?” 

“Wow, Dad.  Way to insinuate your dead friend’s daughter has a disease!  We can’t catch anything, remember?” my voice was thick as molasses with disdain.

“Damnit, Jake!   She could get pregnant!” Billy slaps a hand down on the table.  Before I would duck my head in shame at the tone in my father’s voice, I am no longer that person.  I don’t know who I am yet. I am not the Jacob to back down from his father’s disapproval.  Now dare he try to act responsibly for me? Now, I am a kid who needs protection and guidance.  What a fucking joke!

“She doesn’t have a period, Billy.  She can’t get knocked up.”  I cross my arms over my chest.

“She doesn’t have a period.” My dad sounds tired. “ It doesn’t mean she can’t get pregnant.  Female athletes don’t menstruate, Jacob.”

The statement ricochets around my brain like dozen bouncy balls thrown into a closet. Shit.  We had sex without protection because we assumed that Leah couldn’t get pregnant.  My mind starts playing back all the times I came inside Leah with no thought of any consequences. That can’t be. The lack of wolf pups was the reason we assumed Sam imprinted on Emily.

“But the imprint?”  I feel a little sick.  “Sam imprinted on Emily so they could have pups.”

“We don’t know why Sam imprinted on Emily.  We don’t know why so many imprints are happening. “ My dad rubs his forehead with the heel of his hand,”  Our records of the legends say imprinting is rare, but almost half the pack has imprinted.  We don’t know what function it serves. There are ten wolves and four imprinted pairs.”

There are tears in my dad’s eyes.  “There is something you should know.  The tribal council was contacted by parents of four girls who may be pregnant by members of the pack. Three are HokWat, and the one is of the tribe.  Two of the HokWat girls are leaning towards adoption. They are not out of high school. We are talking with the Tribal lawyers about placing the children within the tribe via the Indian Welfare Act.  We cannot have anyone who may be a future pack member being raised in HokWat home.  We do not know who out of the children could eventually phase.  “

My dad wipes his eyes. “We are going to need to call all the wolves together. Sue is going to deliver a course on birth control to all wolves.  You will need to order them to follow the instructions she gives. No exceptions. You as well. ”

“ Fucking Paul!  He can’t keep it wrapped!” I am growling.

“Three name Quil as the possible father.” Billy meets my gaze.  Shit. Quil?  Paul was the pack sex-machine.  He hooked up with anyone and everyone who would have him. My brow furrows. I think back to all the memories Paul shared with us of his exploits.  Girls of every variation; the only thing in common was Paul.  Something strikes me.  He would pause to ask if they wanted this; he always asked before each act—his ritual of asking if they are allergic to latex before rolling on a condom. 

“Fuck. “ 

“You will use the Alpha Order to ensure they do not breed an army of wolves.  Our secret cannot be kept if we grow too large.”

”That is bullshit!  You are taking their choices away! It is an invasion of privacy!” I slam my hands down.

“It is for the good of the tribe! “ Billy slams his hands down and lifts himself, using his arms to mirror my posture. “We are a small tribe with a big secret. We have six adults out of every ten unemployed or underemployed on the reservation.  We have many two-bedroom houses with three generations that don’t have adequate working plumbing or heat. It takes almost four times the amount of food for an Olympic athlete to feed a single wolf. We cannot have the pack fathering child after child.  Especially with the Hokwat!   The council nor I knew that anyone who was not full-blooded Quileute would phase.“

There is a tentative knock at our front door.  Billy drops himself into his wheelchair.  His expression is mournful. I think he knows who that has to be.  I listen.  I recognize the heartbeat.  It is Embry.  Oh, shit.  He heard that. 

“Come in.” My dad rolls his shoulders back. Embry comes in the door.  His eyes are red.  Even super werewolf healing cannot take away a lifetime of tears; I hold out my hand. He takes it.  I pull him close.  I give him a bump hug and gesture towards the table.  Embry sits on my right with me facing my . . . our dad.

Embry’s face is passive.  His left knee is jiggling like mad.  No one says anything.  We just stare at each other.  Is it a who can’t take the silence first loses type deal?   I think about Embry.

“I will follow your lead on this, . . .bro.” A shadow of a smile plays on Embry’s lips.

“Thanks, bro.”

“Always Embry.” A ghost Bella jokes that is what she said.

“Chief Black, I heard my mom’s side. Now, I want to y ours. How did you end up with two-spirit warriors two months apart?” I angle my body in a supportive posture.

Billy backs up and rolls to the counter.  He pulls a coffee cup down and pours himself a cup of black coffee.  He gestures to the pot and looks at Embry and me.  I shake my head, no.  Embry nods.  Billy pulls a cup and pours one for Em.  Billy clears his throat.  “ How do you take it, Embry?’

“Black like my soul.” Embry quips a smile. I suck in a breath.  It is an old joke of Embry’s. It just has a different meaning now.  My dad closes his eyes for a moment.

“No, really, black is fine, Chief Black.”

“You called me Billy before this day.  I don’t see that you have any cause to be more formal now, Embry.” Billy passes me the cup.  I pass it to Embry.  

“Ok, Billy” Embry and I speak at the same time, but the meanings are so different.

Billy takes a sip.  “Sarah and I had the twins.  Sarah barely waited for the doctor to clear her after their birth to start trying again.  She miscarried two times between the twins and Jacob. It was hell on her health, but she was determined to have a son.”  

Embry tilts his head and squints at Billy.  Billy swallows. Embry looks at him and takes a long drink of his coffee.

“She . . . we both had a hard time dealing with the miscarriages.  The last one she was six months along. I turned to work to keep out of the house and away from my grief.  I was working on the road between the Makah reservation and La Push.  Tiffany was working as a waitress at a diner between here and there. Tiffany and I would talk.  We were friends.  She was working on a relationship with a man from the Makah.  We encouraged each other in our relationships.  Tiffany was my cheerleader.  It was working out for me, but not for her. Tiffany’s boyfriend moved away.  Three weeks later, your mom got pregnant with you, Jacob. ”

“That doesn’t explain how Embry came to be?” I am angry.  He is not telling us what we need to know. 

“I am getting there.”Billy looks deep into his coffee cup. “ Your mother was about five weeks along when I came home after pulling a sixty-hour week.  Sarah and I got into an argument. Sarah shoved me.  I shoved back.  I didn’t mean to do it. I did.  It was like some nightmare.  She fell and started bleeding.  I rushed her to the hospital.  We were both familiar with the signs of miscarriage.  We thought she was losing you.   Sarah told me to get out and not come back.  She had the hospital call your grandparents to come to sit with her.  Your grandfather asked me to leave.  I did.”

Billy takes a big drink of his coffee.  Embry is holding his cup like it is the last fire in winter.  Kids had insinuated that Embry’s dad was john.  They tried to tell him his mom turned tricks, so he did not have a dad.  I remember interrupting the taunts by pulling Embry away.   His mom always said he was named after a soap opera character. I wonder if it is because she couldn’t name him Ephraim.

“I am here, Bro.”  Embry relaxes his grip on his cup.

“ I left the hospital and did not come home.  The Clearwaters had the twins.  I stayed gone for two weeks. I just drank and lived in my truck. After three days of living in my truck between here and Makah res, Tiffany saw me.  She drugs me back to her house.  She threw me in the shower and made me eat a real meal.  She told me to call and check on my family, I drug my heels in.   She let me stay, but she insisted I not drink. I slept on her sofa and carved to keep my hands busy.   Every night she told me to call my family. One night, I did.  “

“And.”  Embry prompts.

“Sarah’s mother answered the phone.  She told me to stay gone after the loss I caused my wife and hung up on me.  I broke down.  Tiffany took the phone from my hand. I thought I had killed my child.  I was inconsolable.  I kissed her. Tiffany had learned her boyfriend had married someone the week after he left Makah. She kissed me back. We kept kissing.  We conceived you, Embry.”

“Two days after that, Charlie Swan found me at the Diner where Tiffany worked. Charlie stormed up with a face that would part the red sea in fear.  He told me Sarah was out of the hospital.  She was on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy; she was wondering where the hell I was. “ Billy reaches for my hand.  I take it. 

“Sarah’s folks were keeping people away from her, but Charlie seemed to smile his way past Sarah’s mom. I hadn’t lost you or your mom.”  Billy reaches for Embry’s hand.  He doesn’t grab Embry’s hand.  He lets it rest there as an invitation.

“Your mom told me to go home.  She was my biggest cheerleader, after all. I went home and fixed up my marriage because my friends kicked my wallowing ass. “ Billy smiles grimly.  “I still think of her as my friend. I took a job Acloser to LaPush, so I could be home more to care for Sarah and the twins.” 

Embry looks at Billy’s hand. “How did you find out about me? Why did mom move us here? Why did you never tell me?”

“I had an intertribal meeting that was at the Makah.  I stopped at the diner.  I hadn’t talked to her since she told me to go home. I had told Sarah about what happened between me and your mom, Embry.  Sarah asked me to cut ties with Tiffany to save our marriage. I did.”  Billy looks at the ceiling.  “  I don’t know why I stopped in the diner that day.  I did. I was stunned.  Tiffany was about five months along. We just stared at each other for five minutes. I never made it to the meeting.  “

“That answers how, but not the whys.”  I prompt.  Embry deserves to know.  I deserve to know.  Secrets have battered this family. I need them to stop.  Embry needs them to stop.  I am going to have him tell his mom about the wolves.  She is coming to the next bonfire. Fuck the Council and any of the traditions that say otherwise. He is my brother.  She is my family now.  

“I asked Tiffany to move here because no matter what, her child would be part of the tribe.  I selfishly wanted to be able to look after him. I never dreamed he would be a wolf.  I just knew he would be my child.  Tiffany doesn’t have much family that she wanted to deal with in the Makah.”  Embry nods.  He did not like going to the Makah Reservation.  He said they treated his mom like trash the few ties he had visited there with her.  

Billy continues after a sip of coffee.  His other hand was still outstretched.  “  I worked with Old Quil to get Tiffany and Embry a house here in La Push.  Sarah knew why.  Tiffany invited Sarah over for coffee.  They talked.  They were both concerned about how the rest of the tribe would react to you both being two months apart and Embry’s illegitimacy. We agreed to keep it secret and say Embry’s father was on the Makah reservation.  “ 

Billy swirls his coffee.  “I would be able to watch you grow with your siblings, but I could never claim you. “

“Why continue the secret?  Why after your wife died?”  Embry’s voice is cracking. He sounds so raw.

“There were reasons:  I did not want you to be pointed out as the Chief’s bastard.  I did not want Jacob to resent his brother.  It all seems like bullshit now. “

“Go on.” I croak.

 “You two were so close.  It was uncanny.  You gravitated towards one another despite any attempts to put barriers. “  Tears flowed down my father’s face. “It became too big to tell.  .  . I knew there was no way for Jacob to escape the possibility of phasing.  I thought at least I could give you the freedom to find your own way.  I could be there if you needed me. Tiffany was supposed to tell you if you needed me.”

“I always needed you.”  Embry takes Billy’s hand.  My dad is sobbing apologies.   I reach for Embry’s other hand.  I feel my brother and my father take a breath as one.  A sense of calm tethers me to the earth. I feel all those who came before back to the beginning and the first wolf.  I do not know what will happen next to my family and me.  We will get through it together.  It may be ugly and messy, but it will be us. I am at peace. My Sun calls the phantom Bella.

Chapter Text

“Oh, My God!  Bells!”  I shout into the phone screen.  I see her little face scrunch up, and she sobs.  I am desperately trying to see something in there to tell me where she is.  My sense of unease these last days has a reason.  I had ignored it so many times before when it turned out to be nothing.  No longer, I am ready to tear this guy apart to get to my Bells.

“What happened?  Did you do something to her?  Where is Edward, her husband?” Robin’s lips thin into a snarl.  Bella sobs only harder; she is chanting my name.

“I took her from him to a safe place.” The hate that covers that one word.  It shocks me.  Robin looks me dead on. “  I can take you to her if you want?”

Her being in a hospital bed with his words put a sheen of ice over me.  What happened to my Bells?

“Come in.”  I step out of the way.  I put both hands on my service weapon.  I keep the aim steady.   

“Who are you?” I ask.  Robin comes in with arms wide and the phone screen to my view.  He shuts my front door with a tap of his foot.  He doesn't’ take his eyes off mine.

“Daddy?”  I hear a voice that is not my Bells say.  It has a bit of a twang to the speech.  Robin angles his head and closes his eyes to that word.  It is a request that any parent knows. 

“Everything is fine, Willow.   I just have to talk to your Cousin Charlie.  Comfort Bella, my little tree. “

“Charlie, please .. .” I hear Bella sob, and I see the phone has been put in Bella’s lap.  The video shows her hunched over and crying into the other girl's shoulder.  Robin keeps his hands up where I can see them.

“ I am Robin Goodfellow,  that is the truth.  I am also your uncle Charlie Swan.  The man known as Gregory Swann was Gruffyd, my half brother.   I will take you to your Bella if you want to go?”

“Take me to my Bells.”  I holster my weapon.  I don’t trust this, but I don’t care.  I will get Bells and me out of this once I can see here with my own eyes.  I don’t know if that asshole Edward did something or got involved in something that Bells got kidnapped.  I will play their game to save her.   I just want my daughter.

Robin bows his head.   “Isabella, do you want me to bring Charlie to you?”

Bells keep crying.  She seems afraid. She’s shaking her head, mumbling about her fault. My heart can’t take that. “Bells, please let me help you?  Whatever it is, none of it is your fault. Can I come to you? Please, let me come to you?”

Willow, I guess, whispers. “Ask him."

Bella hiccups and sucks in a snotty breath. “Charlie, can you come to me?”

Bella is suddenly being rocked and crooned to in the video.  I see her profile with the other girl.  Willow. “You did so good.  That is exactly what we needed.”

“I am going to hang up and bring Charlie to you. Under your Blessing.”  Robin's eyes look shiny.  The phone tips up on Bella’s side, and I see the little teenage girl I glimpsed before.  She has tears on her face. 

“Travel safe and swift, Daddy.  Love you.”

“ I love you too, Willow Tree.” Robin ends the call.  He carefully puts his phone in his back pocket.  He holds out his right hand.  I take it.  He tugs me closer to my front door. 

“Close your eyes.  I am going to knock three times and open the door.  Keep them shut as I pull you through.  You only open them when I tell you,” I just stare at him.  This man is crazy.  How the hell is that supposed to get me to my daughter? 

Robin smiles a rictus smile.  “ I will answer your questions and doubts later.  You have to put that aside for Bella.   Hold on to the image of Bella and how she needs her father’s love.”

I swallow what feels like an elephant trying to choke me.  Bella.   My Bells needs me.    I close my eyes and focus on that thought, not what I hear.  I hear a knock, and my front door rattles.  I hear a second knock, and warm air rushes around me. It feels like a wind tunnel.  I hear a third final knock and a twangy voice calling, “Come in”  I feel the air move as I hear the door swing open. Robin pulls me through what should be my front porch on an overcast day in Forks.  Instead, I feel the warm sun.  I smell antiseptic and flowers. 

“Charlie?”  I hear a sniffle and Bella’s wavering voice. That can’t be.  I must have lost my mind.

“Open your eyes, Charlie.” Robin is at my side.  His hand on my shoulder.  I feel a tremor in his hand. “ My Dear One, you are safe with your family.”

My eyes open slowly.  There is my daughter.  Her hair in a braid sitting on a hospital bed wrapped in a girl's arms with black puffy hair with blue bits.  A rhinestone butterfly twinkles over one ear.  This must be Willow.  Her indigo eyes have heavy eyeliner.  I think they call that Emo.

“Daddy, you did it!”  the little goth girl runs into Robin’s arms.   I walk slowly to Bell's side.  I want to grab her up, but she looks so frail. I have always been afraid to hold her too tight because I ran her mother off by my intensity.   Her sweet brown eyes are raw looking.  I open my arms.  I know how I am supposed to treat trauma victims.  How to coax information, I know how to get the job done as a cop.  I do no know how to do this with my daughter. I take a breath.

“Can I hold you, Bells?”

 My little girl wails.  I gather her in my arms.  I sit on the bed, rocking her as I think Willow did.  I make nonsense comforting noises.  Kissing the top of her head, I see Willow duck her head into her father’s chest.  He wraps his arms around her and rocks her.  Robin doesn’t look old enough to be her father.   I know he is, by the way, he holds her.

I will believe he is a father: her father.  He gives me a short nod.  It is encouragement. Talk to her that nod says, be who your daughter needs.  I smooth a hand over Bella’s hair.  I pull her face up so she can see me.  I need her to see this.

“I don’t understand what you’re going through, but I love you. If you want to talk to me about this, I will listen. I want to be someone you can trust to be helpful to you whenever you are ready.” 

“Charlie . . .Daddy, it is all my fault.  I made Edward . . . I wanted a wedding night,”  Bella whimpers. She mumbles a chant of how it was her fault and that he is perfect.  It is all her fault; from her insistence on seeing Jacob to her return from Italy.  I see red.  I feel something loose in me.  I will kill Edward Cullen.  I want to kill Carlisle, who covered up for him. Bella’s sobs knock me out of my anger.  I will ensure they pay for this, ut not now.  Now I will put do as my girl needs me to do.

Robin's eyes seem illuminated.    He blinks them slowly.   This, too, is encouragement and a promise.  He will help me do whatever is necessary for Bella.  He plants a kiss on Willow’s forehead.  `I do the same.    I start rubbing my hands up and down her arms to warm her up.  I touch a lump in the bandage on her alet wrist. It writhes under my touch.  I stiffen and move my hand away.  I turn my head to Robin. He shakes his head, no.  Bella’s right-hand tries to claw at the bandage.  Robin is holding her wrist before her clawed fingers can reach. 

“Tell her a story, Charlie. “   Robins commands. “Tell her a story of you and herself.”

What the hell!   I don’t see how that will help get rid of whatever horror movie thing.  I clear my throat as I watch the bandage strain to contain what is underneath. I can’t seem to get anything out.  I want to rip the bandage off myself and pull whatever that is off my daughter. Willow is hopping from foot to foot; she looks to be fighting herself from shoving me out of the way. She glares at her father, Robin.

“Charlie!”  Robin’s voice is harsh, drawing my attention back to him. “Storytelling is about connecting to her to herself.  It helps her see what you see and protect her from that thing.”

“Bells.  Look at me,”  Our eyes are wild, but we hold on.  “  During my teenage years, I always felt a little bit on the outside of my circle of friends. I attribute that distance because the others all belonged to the Quileute tribe, and I did not.  “

The motions seem to be slowing, so I continue.  “I saw how my best friends were treated by the world.   I wanted to change it.  Billy, Quil IV, Harry, and I were out in Port Angeles as teenagers. We were hanging out at a movie theatre after watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.  Some cops started harassing the guys.  The cops rounded them up on suspicion of theft. Not me.  “  

I huff a bitter laugh. “ I was let go.  I tried reasoning with the cops. I tried to get them to call their folks.  The Port Angeles Cops refused.  I had them call the Forks cops who laughed loudly at the Rez rats being held that I could hear it over the phone. It made me angry.   I called my dad, who was having trouble walking by then. Grandpa Swan walked in with a cane.  He walked out with all of us after five minutes.  It is why I decided to become a cop. I wanted to protect those I love. “ 

“  I was going to clean up the Forks Police Department. “  I blush.  I have to admit the whole. “I wanted to go to college, but my parents' health began deteriorating at the time.   I felt that I needed to stay close to home. My mother was in the early stages of Alzheimer's, and my father's mobility was being curtailed by severe arthritis. I did everything I could to help care for them.”

Tension leaves Bella’s body.  Willow calls to me. “How did you meet Bella’s mother, Charlie?”

“During my first summer as a cop, I met Renée.” I kiss Bella’s forehead.  Hoping she doesn’t mind it.  “Your mom was driving up the Pacific Highway with a group of her friends, and they stopped to camp at First Beach in La Push. I was visiting Billy when we met on the beach.  “ 

“Did you love her at first sight?”  Robin teases me.  The bandage movements are slower than before.

“I was instantly attracted to her.  Her smile and her laugh. We spent a few days together before her friends were ready to continue their journey. Renee promised to visit me on the return trip. In her absence, I realized just how much I had fallen for Renée. She returned as promised, and I convinced her to stay when her friends left.”

“What is Bella’s mother like?” Willow sits in a nearby chair.

 “Renée is impetuous and romantic by nature.  She loves the passionate whirlwind type of relationship. I quickly proposed, and Renée accepted. We were married at the courthouse in Port Angeles, Washington, just a few weeks later.”

“What about your parents? “ Robin asks.  My eyes stay trained on Bella’s wrist. The bandage is still.

“ Their health seemed to stabilize. I bought a small house down the street from my parents' home. I wanted to be close in case they needed me.  For a little while, we were delirious usly happy. I was even happier when Renée  found out she was pregnant with Bella a few months later.”

“Then, I ruined it,”  Bella murmurs. 

“No!  No, Bells! “ I shout and then quickly soften my tone as Bella tries to pull away. “Both my parents' conditions worsened, and my father needed me to help with my mom every day. At the same time, depression began to take a major toll on Renée. She wanted me to leave Forks with her and start over somewhere sunnier.  But I couldn't do that; I couldn’t just leave my father to deal with everything.  Renée had you.  “ 

I brush a stray strand of hair from her face.  “Renee’s depression was only compounded by the postpartum hormones. A few months after you were born, Renée decided she couldn't live in Forks anymore. She left with you while I was at work.  I was devastated. “

Bella looks as if she is hearing this for the first time.  I know I have told her this before.  She knows her mom and my story about the divorce.   “I wanted to follow her, but I  couldn't leave my parents.  I didn't contest the divorce or child support. All I asked for was time with you, Bells.  You were . . . you are all that matters.”

Bella looks tentatively at me.  She lays her head down on my chest.  I cradle her head to my chest. “Is this ok?”

“uhuh.”  Bella hums.  I kiss her forehead again.  Some instinct tells me that she needs to hear the rest. 

“Four years later, after the divorce, within six months of each other, my parents died. I was alone. I lived fully only in the single month each year that you came home. I devoted myself to my job and worked my way up through the ranks to become chief of police in Forks. It was just barely more than existing the rest of the time at first.  Fishing and time spent with the Blacks kept me from floating away on the breezes.  “

“Tell her a story of herself, Charlie. A favorite moment or two,”  Robin pulls his phone out of his back pocket.  There is a text message.  He types something.

“You were a toddler when you were introduced to Jake. He was crying. You leaned over and kissed his tear-stained face.  Jacob loved you as soon as he saw you.   He stopped crying and beamed at you.  You called him your Jacob. You were his guiding star even as a toddler.  He followed where you lead. ”  I chuckle—my little heartbreaker.   

“Do you remember the year after your grandparents died?  You were six, and Jacob was four. “ I ask her.  Bella mumbles something. I don’t quite catch it.+  I continue anyway.  “ We were on First Beach with the Blacks.  You and Jacob were playing along the tidepools. You fell into one of the pools.  Rachel and Rebecca laughed. You blushed all the way to your hairline.  Scrunched up your little face, I thought you were going to cry.  Instead, you sat up in the pool and held out a hand.   Jacob took your hand.  He sat down next to you.  You both sat there watching, holding hands, and talking about life in the tide pools.  Little kid commentary about crabs darting to sea anemones closing themselves around pieces of food that drift into their openings. Starfish flank the rocks, holding on tight against their now dry surroundings. All around, clams squirt along the sand, and the mussels and barnacles sit stoically, waiting for the tide to rise so they can eat. You giggled and laughed.  Eventually, you both climbed out to sit near some driftwood while Billy and I got a fire going.  Sarah captured you two sitting there on the beach.  It is the picture that hung on your corkboard.”

Tears fall from my eyes and splash on her face. “I love Sarah’s photo because it ties to the memory of moments before it was taken.  Listening to you talk about what you saw and how you saw the world;  It is a moment . . . I would live in forever.  “

I sit and rock her.  Time passes, and a knock at the door.  In walks, a statuesque black woman and a tiny white one.  The black woman's skin is set off by her coat's white; it is a deep umber with a coral flush to her cheeks.  She is gorgeous.  I straighten a little and try to suck in a lot.  She offers me a knowing smile.  The tiny woman to her side has a heart-shaped face with vibrant red hair.  It is the color depicted in old paintings.  Her smile is tentative.

“Hello, You must be Charlie,”  She with wine-dark lips. “I am Yemayá. I  am caring for Bella at the request of your Grandmother and Uncle.”

Yemayá gestures to Robin and the red-haired woman.  “ May I have a moment alone with Bella.? I need to see if we are ready to begin her next phase of treatment. “

“Is that ok, Bells?”  Bella nods at me. 

“Come, Charlie Boy, let me introduce myself to you again.  “ the little woman’s voice brings up flashes of images.  Being lost as a little boy, someone singing to me as I was found again

“Nain.” She nods and offers me a hand up.  I snag a kiss to Bella’s head as I walk outside the door.  I am nervous about crossing the threshold.  Nain’s brow furrows.  Then, her eyes widen, and she shoots a glare at Robin, who wilts a little as he walks behind us with Willow.

“Robin?” my Nain crosses her arms.  It triggers a memory of her arguing with my father.  She looks different in my memory.  She is wearing this floaty gown, the dawn's colors with a golden horned crown set with rubies and amber.  Her arms are crossed the same way, and my father was on the defensive. 

Robin stutters while Willow offers me her hand.  She introduces herself formally as Willow Goodfellow, and I give her my name.  I look at her outstretched hand. I don’t know why, but I think. . . I feel the need for more.    I hold my arms wide, and Willow hugs me quickly.  My Nain puts a hand to her mouth.  She touches my arm with a trembling hand.  Robin lays his hand on top of hers.    Willow ducks into her father.  I close my eyes. 

Chapter Text

"Hey, Jacob!" I felt an unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm at his smile. I realized that I was pleased to see him. This knowledge surprised me. I smiled back, and something clicked silently into place, like two corresponding puzzle pieces. I'd forgotten how much I really liked Jacob Black.

Are you ready, Bella?”  Yemayá is smiling.  It would be more reassuring if she weren’t wearing a medical splash mask.  She had given me the rundown of how this was going to work.  I am strapped down and being held in place by my family.  All the adult family members got a limb to hold. There is a surgical tray table set between Titania and Yemaya. It has a glass looking globe and a small piece of a vampire on it.   Titania is to hold my left leg with Robin on the Right. Charlie holds my other arm.  There is a vein throbbing in his forehead. He has been told it is a vampire bite.  He doesn’t quite know what to make of being half fairy or his grandmother looks his age.  He wants the full explanation after this is removed.  I am not looking forward to that.

Willow has to keep her distance. She has her phone out, ready to record.  Titania has scolded her, but Yemayá says Willow recording procedure.  It could help her treat someone in the future.  There aren’t many medical references for human /supernatural hybrids.  Titania looks at Robin.  He nods.  Willow may need this at some point. She is a quarter fairy and more vulnerable than even an iron-bound Titania.   Yemayá speaks to the room.

“Starting the procedure: I will be using a piece of the venom source to draw the stunted growth out of the patient.  Specifically, the nasal bone was removed by Anhangá on August 15^th.  I am cutting the bandages now. “ Yemayá uses bandage shears to cut the gauze.

I look between her and the surgical table.  Nasal bone moved on August 15^th by Anhangá?  That was the name the caretakers kept saying.  I remember the white deer with red eyes and the hoof that came down on Edwards's face.  That piece. . . that is his nose. 

“Yes, it is,”  Robin confirms.  I did not know I had spoken aloud.  Charlie’s breathing is harsh. 

“He bit her?”Charlie’s voice is hoarse. 

Yemayá opens the gauze.  “Not recently, the venom parasite is at least 16months old.  It has been stunted by her fairy nature. “

"Edward didn't bite me.  He sucked out the venom except that."  I try to defend before Titania interrupts.

"You can't suck the venom out once it hits the blood.  It soaks into tissues and the bloodstream.  If he sucked until he didn't taste anyone else, it still meant he was flowing in your body." Titania growls.  "Your own nature fought the change.  If he had kept pumping in venom, you would have changed or died."  

"What the hell is that?" Charlie interrupts our argument, and our attention returns to what is happening.

"That is the start of a vampiric change.  "  Yemaya takes a deep breath.  We all look at the abomination that is my left arm.  It is hideous.  It looks like a hellish combination of an intestine and Venus flytrap. It is a tube with teeth formed out of its own flesh:  the marble skin of the vampires.   Yemayá takes the piece of Edward in hand with the globe resting on top. 

“Vampires must be burned carefully.  Even in the dismembered state, the individual segments will maneuver themselves to attempt to resurrect the whole.  Given enough time and blood source, I am curious if they can reform as other parasitic organisms.”  She holds the globe over my arm—the parasite twitches.  I start feeling the slide of something inside my body. 

Charlie grips my arm tight.  It inches its way like a worm.  I see it start to hold itself upright.  Yemaya moves the globe a little further out of reach. 

It wrinkles itself flat. It is screwing itself up like a face. I feel more tendrils sliding inside my arm like ants crawling in my veins.  I grunt. I twitch. They hold my limbs. It wiggles like a cat about to pounce; each rocking motion feels like little spider legs coming from my chest. 

I start wheezing.  I feel pressure on that side of my chest.  Everything seems to be pressing in on my left side.

It shoots out suddenly.  Yemaya forces the maw of a mouth around the globe. It has pulled the center mass out of my arm.  It is an open tube.  It flares, then closes.   Tendrils are hanging off the back.

“That’s fucking nasty!” “Oh, my god. “ Brynti “

I hear the monitors start chiming.  Yemaya runs her hand down the length of the tendrils.  She gives a hard pull like she is drawing in a net.  She doesn’t release the ends.  She is pulling it out of my body.  I feel the tugs into my chest.  The globe swallows growth.  She brings her opposite hand to the globe. The tendrils pull inside like a retracting measuring tape.  There are still lengths of tentacles out of my body.

She makes this pulling motion twice more as the monitors scream.  She has the last pieces of it in her hand.  There is a wet pop as she pulls the end out of me. 

I am panting as Yemaya inspects the ends.  Charlie is kissing my hair.  I look at him. His eyes are wide. I collapse against my father. 

“Edward.” Yemaya’s voice is of the tides.  It draws my eyes back.  I see what looks like spines flare on the length of the creature.  They hook and relax. She repeats it. The same flare, hook and relax motion.  It looks like it wants to dig in.  She brings the tail end up to the globe. The globe swallows it.   All of the creature is writhing within it now. 

Yemayá removes her gloves and face shield.  She puts her bare hand on the raw open edge of my arm.  It is not bleeding, but you can see tissue cavern.  I gag a little.  I feel the sting of saltwater and try to jerk.  She holds firm.

I feel the press of a warm ocean current against my wound.  It increases in rhythms like a pounding surf or a heartbeat.   It stops suddenly, and she releases my arm.  I smell the sea.  The hole is gone.  There is pink new skin. I touch it tentatively.  I trace the edges.  There is no temperature difference, just the tenderness of a newly healed wound. 

Titania takes the globe and the piece of Edward. She has a grim smile. “I am in your debt, Yemaya.”

“What use will you have for those, Nain?” Willow’s chin is pulled into her neck.  She looks revolted.

“Leverage and a demonstration, My Dear One.” Titania’s image slips. The air hums.  I can see the manacle clearly. Her body glows and wavers like light on a hot sidewalk in Phoenix.   “Leverage and a demonstration.”

I pass out. I dream of warm soda, rain being a soothing chant behind me, and my behind feeling waffle prints.  A smile that lights up the world:  Jacob.

Sometime later, I wake to a discussion between Titania and Charlie.  Charlie’s face was in his cop mask. 
“I am a cop.”

Titania glances at me. “Hello, My Dear One, Robin and Willow went home.”

Titania has a to-go cup of something.  She takes a sip.  “You are.   You are also half Fairy.  Are you not drawn to maintaining the civil order?  Are you not drawn to rivers and water?  Does not simple hospitality and good manners draw you more than any outlandish display?  That is a Seelie nature.”

“I, uh.”  Charlie puts a hand on the back of his neck.;

“That is you, Charlie.  “  My father gives me an embarrassed look.  He does not recognize himself.  He is special and kind.

“Charlie Boy,  are you not drawn to the darker parts of life?  You must see these horrors and punish those who commit them? You keep a calm façade in these moments to keep from giving vent to the heart that demands retribution; is this not so?  The urge to destroy that which has harmed the innocent or honest.  This is an Unseelie nature.”

Charlie blushes and lowers his eyes.  Charlie?  I know that Forks has almost zero crime despite the remoteness and general poverty of the area. I know he works on diversions for jail in drug or addiction cases.  He wants them to get treatment.  I had heard him arguing with the prosecutor enough.  I know he keeps the other cases away from the home phone.  The ones that make him stare off into space and hold his Ranier like it is a lifeline.

“So Seelie and Unseelie are not good and evil?” I am nibbling on my lower lip. I am remembering Willow’s descriptions. “Willow said that the courts had a lot of names: Seelie, the Shining Throne, the Court of Dreams, and Summer court are the Fairies associated with growth, sunlight, and creativity.  Unseelie, the Obsidian Throne, the Court of Nightmares, and Winter court are the Fairies associated with loss, darkness, and dark creativity .’

“Correct. What goes across all courts:  all Fairy have an attraction to people who create with either their words, hands, or bodies.  We can sit for hours watching someone embroider, for example, or weave.  The observation of such fuels our nature.  Our presence, in turn, fuels their creativity.”

I thought of the wolf charm Jacob gave me and days sitting on a milk crate.  “Would repairing motorcycles count?”

“If they were fit for the tip, yes.” Charlie shoots us both a look. I avert my eyes from Charlie.

“Tip is a dump.  If the bikes were absolute rubbish, repairing them would be creative because it involves seeing the potential.  You have to have a vision of what these can be.  Another thing all Fairy hold inviolate is food and hospitality.  “  She looks a little embarrassed.  “ There was a time where if an innkeeper watered his wine, served worm-ridden bread, or adulterated butter; it would set the butter sprites upon you.  They would break crockery and refuse to leave until all the stores were emptied. 

“They would, what?’ Charlie’s eyebrows were up.  He was not particularly thrilled with this bit of history. I cannot quite believe what I am hearing either.  

Titania squints her eye and wrinkles in embarrassment. “We hold to hospitality, and words have meaning.  Innkeepers would use signs that indicated their holdings were to our customs.  They would water wine and serve contaminated food to those who purchased in good faith.  A buttery sprite would come to live in the pantries of dishonest inns and taverns, eating and drinking everything in sight and causing financial misfortune. The only way to get rid of the buttery spirit is for the owner of the establishment to become honest and ethical in his or her business practices. They would seal the compact with a fresh loaf of bread, new butter, honey, and wine.”

“Buttery Sprite.”  Charlie’s mustache twitches.  I can’t help it.  I snort. 

“Yes.  Buttery Sprite. “  Titania sits up a little straighter.  “Butter is important.  Tour de Beurre or Butter Tower in the Cathedral of Rouen, in northwestern France construction, was paid entirely by tithes for butter use by nobles during Lent.”

My great grandmother is defending the importance of butter.  I snicker.  I can’t help it.  Titania winks at me.  Charlie and I burst into belly laughs.  We laugh till tears form.  I gain some approximation of a straight face.  As ridiculous and frightening as my world has been, the knowledge of buttery sprites is just magnificent.  How ridiculous is this world?

“Hennain?”  Titania beams, so I continue with a half-smile “Are potatoes part of Fairy culture because Charlie and I love some French fries?”

“No, my Dear One. “  She rolls her eyes at Charlie and I when we laugh again.  “  You have to realize that potatoes came too late to the Old World for common Fairy customs.  Sir Walter Raleigh introduced potatoes to Ireland in 1589 on the 40,000 acres of land near Cork. It took nearly four decades for the potato to spread to the rest of Europe.  It was a boon to the tables and cuisines of the world.  It was still only for the wealthy for a good while.  Fairies are more even-handed.  Did you know potatoes were thought to be aphrodisiacs in the early 1600s?”

“No!” Charlie and I both exclaim.

“Yes! William, William Shakespeare, wrote about them in Merry Wives of Windsor and Troilus and Cressida. Falstaff used their expense and aphrodisiac qualities to make a move on Mrs. Ford.  Thersites the “Scurrilous greek” makes a nob joke. They were a rare novelty.”

“ Wow.”  I laugh.  Charlie and Titania laugh. A penis joke about potatoes in Shakespeare.  I missed that portion of literature in Forks High School.  Jake would fall to the floor laughing. Edward would be mortified.   I think of poor Carlisle hiding in a potato cellar for his change after an unsuccessful vampire hunt. The laughter dies.  Oh, crap.  I said that out loud. 

“Twll din pob saes “ Titania growls. I gape at Titania. 

“All English are assholes.” Charlie deadpans. Titania is gritting her teeth. She looks like she if fighting the words.

“ I have met Carlisle Cullen.  He was present during the last treaty signing between Fairy and Vampires.  “Titania spits the words.  “His father was Sir Abraham Cullen, 1st Baronet.  Abraham Cullen was an English merchant and politician who sat in the House of Commons. Abraham was made a baronet in 1661. This is the time of the English Restoration of the Monarchy from the Republican era.  Carlisle was one of those who participated in the Farnley Wood Plot.”

“That is not true.”  How dare she?  I know who Carlisle is.  But do you, honey?  Why do you trust everything that Dr. Fang says?  My inner Jacob is scowling.

“All that I just said can be found in history.  The first pamphlet about potatoes was in 1664 by John Forrester  You can find it any number of research papers.  The wonderful thing of this modern era, you can find historical documents uploaded for common use. Historians can share all sorts of documents, including recordings of births, deaths, and trial transcripts.”  She reaches into a briefcase near her chair.  She pulls out an Ipad.  She hands it to me.  “Search for it. Charlie’s birthday: month, date, and year open the device.”

I do not need to prove to myself what I know to be true.   She looks at me with a challenge.  I will prove her wrong. I open the Ipad.  It seems it is linked to an international wireless account.  I open the browser.

“While you are doing that, tell me how you dated and married a vampire?” Charlie comes to look over my shoulder. Damnit.

Chapter Text

"Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire.”

I am watching an old-style clock tick away seconds of my life in a folding metal chair that is crooked.  I wonder if I stare hard enough at that clock, I could go back in time like that movie, Butterfly Effect.  Wait, that wasn’t the movie.  Was it Clockstoppers?  Crap.  I never thought I would long for a vampire so much as sitting through this safer sex class being lead by Sue and Dr. Tulukaruq.  All the wolves and imprints were here.  

I try to pinpoint where this had gone sideways.  When I had told Dad about Robin Goodfellow and Dr. Tulukaruq?  When I talked with Leah?  When we met with Dr. Tulukaruq?  Was that it?  Maybe?

_________________________________________________________________________________

“A Fairy?  You think this Robin could be a Fairy?”  Billy’s face is smooth. 

“Look, it sounds nuts.  I chased him, and he got away from me when there was no way he should have. “  Embry blushes from embarrassment. 

“It is not so nuts as you might think.  Our stories tell of Kwati, the Transformer who created us all.  He traveled slaying monsters and meeting other immortals:  Dwarves, Stars, and animal spirits including Raven.” Billy twisted his wedding band.  “  Kwati turned male and female wolf spirits into those who became the Quileute.”

“Raven is a trickster, right?” Per my memory, Puck was a trickster in Shakespeare... The last name is Yup'ik, word for Raven.  “ I heard a Raven when I met Dr. Tulukaruq.  Maybe Robin faked us out there?”

“He gave you a card, correct?” Billy and I both look weird at Embry. The what the fuck in my face is strong.  Embry grins. “Ask him to the community center, and we talk.”

“Ask?”  I think about it. 

“Ask, but verify the info.  It makes sense.” Embry smiles.   “We don’t know what is going on.  We can do some research on the web and our own legends.”

I look at my brother.  I relax.   He has my back, and I have his.  I call and leave a voicemail for a meeting with the Doctor and my dad.  Embry is staying for dinner.  It is odd, but not when Rachel returns with Paul.  We had all sat around and eaten dinner before, but never knowing that Embry was my brother.  We talk of everything and nothing.   I hear Leah come to the door.   Paul, Embry, and I share a glance.

“ I need to step outside. “Rachel's shoulders tense.  I dread this conversation.  I open the door.  Leah is standing there.  She is dressed in shorts and a blue t-shirt.  She inclines her head towards the woods behind my house- past the Taj.    I nod my head. I gather my strength. I think of days spent with the girl I love.   When I next see her, Will the wolf demand I kill her? Can I stop it?

“I talked with my mom.”  Leah starts as we are just past the Taj.” There is a chance I could get pregnant from our stay at the cabin.”

 I stop and turn to her.  She looks at the ground.  I touch her arm.  She looks up, and I see some emotion that I can’t or won’t name there.

“I am not ready to be a father.  I will support your choice.” My words hit Leah like a jolt of electricity.  I swear I can feel my hairs stand on end from the rage that pours off of her.

“Because I am not Bella Fucking Swan?” Leah’s face screws up in a snarl.  Her lips peel from her teeth in a way that shouldn’t be possible in a human face.   My brain conjures an image of Bella pregnant.  In my fantasies, she is older, and I am too.  I try to imagine her pregnant now—my mind rebels. 

“I wouldn’t be ready if you were Bella either.  I am sixteen.  I haven’t finished high school.   We both live with our parents, and neither of us has jobs.  You want to go to college, and so do I.  I will support your choice.”   I keep my temper.  It would not do Leah or me any good for me to scream at her or snapback.

Leah deflates.  “I took the morning after pill before I came over.  Mom had it waiting for me.  When I did not come home, she got two doses from a doctor at the hospital.    “ 

“How long till we know for sure one way or the other?” I feel a weight come off my shoulders.  

“ She is going to do a physical exam in two weeks.  I am taking another dose in two days.  A regular person shouldn’t take it so close together, but my wolf metabolism makes dosing difficult. Apparently, sperm can live for six days.  The pill can work up to five.  “

And the weight is back on.   FUCK!   I want to run.  I can’t.  How do I deal with the waiting to know? Christ! I

“Ok.  We will get through this.  “ I sound so fake to my own ears.  Leah looks dubious.  She nods her head.   I take a deep breath.  

“Leah, I am going to be sorting through some things with my family in the next few days.   We, as a pack, are going to be figuring out what killed those vampires.  I want to set a time to check in with you. Would you be ok with us talking after the second dose?”

“You don’t want to deal with me till then?”

I don’t rise to the bait.  “ I want to have clear expectations so that you know that I am not ignoring you.”

Leah huffs. “ Meet at your house or mine, Black?”

“I will come to your house after six p.m. in two days.  “ I make it definite because I need it.  I need to make small goals.  Just get to one milestone, I can then concentrate on the next.

“Ok. “  Leah’s voice wavers.  I give her a reassuring smile.  A week ago, I would have pulled her into a hug. It would have been instinct.  Now.   Now,  I do not know where our lines are anymore.  I made a choice in a moment of pain.  It is rippling out like a rock in a pond.  My relationship with Leah is silt strewn.    Now, it is all murky.   

I start heading back to my house.   I am just done.  I want to sleep for a week, but I am going to have to tell my dad.  Ugh, Rachel is going to freak out.   Sigh.  I got this?

I want to ask for privacy.  Pack mind makes that impossible while in wolf form.  It is my human form and life that keeps getting fucked up by secrets.  Rachel makes a snide comment about Leah when I talk to my dad. I point out that she is a college graduate who is dating a senior in high school.  I am not too certain about the legality of their relationship.  Rachel simmers down real quick.  I stumble to my too-small bed. I hope for dreamless sleep.  I am not that lucky. 

I call for Bells in my dream. I am running through the forest.   I hear her voice calling to me, encouraging me to turn here, to run faster.   I stop in the meadow where we killed the Leech with the dreads. Bella is there sitting on a blanket with Charlie and people I don’t recognize.  It is a picnic.  I guess.  There is a gazebo or what is it called for a tent with no sides.  Charlie is dressed like something out of a period movie- Shakespeare in Love, maybe?  He has a purple vest thing with suns and moons.  These guys are putting a crown and a cape on Charlie. One of them is Robin Goodfellow, but his ears are pointed as well as his teeth. I shiver.

 Bella is in this deep purple dress with golden suns and silver half-moons.   A woman in an antler crown with deep red hair is brushing Bella’s hair.  A girl with ink-black hair in blue velvet is holding a little crown thing for Bella that is a mix of gold and silver.  The woman’s dress is red and covered in suns.  The girl’s blue velvet is covered in silver half-moons that match her silver crown.  Bell's eyes widen when she sees me.    I keep waiting for her eyes to go red in the dream.  They stay warm and human.  My Bells eyes light up when she recognizes me.

“ Jacob. . .” she whispers.  She stands up.  I rush to her side.  I pray to whatever spirits still hear me. 

“Let me hold her even in this fantasy without my nightmares taking it away.”  The doctor Raven is there.   He is in a cape of black feathers.  He is dancing near flames and catches part of the flames in his hands.  He walks it over to where I am holding Bells.  He offers it to me.

“Dreams have power,  Son.”  Charlie’s voice echoes as I wake.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Chapter Text

“I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice... My face... Even my smell. As if I'd need any of that. As if you could outrun me! As if you could fight me off!” - Edward.

I am sitting in a garden in the late afternoon sun with my daughter and my grandmother.  On the one hand, I could only be more content if I had a Vitamin R in my hand. On the other, my mind is trying to grasp that I am five hours ahead in time due to time zones and in Brazil.  It was over three, almost four hours ago, that Robin, my uncle, knocked on my door.  I let him in, and nothing has been the same.

I have journeyed across the world to my daughter in an instant.  I have learned that there are vampires, shapeshifters, and all manner of other things.  . .   I am a half-fairy. 

The last one is the hardest for me to accept.  The other is my Bells, who is holding my hand while trying to make sense of what she has learned or what has been pointed out to her.  She is shattered. The last hour and a half have been grueling.  We took a break in the garden of the hospital.  

 Bells is finding out the facts of history were different than what she was told or understood. She had become frustrated with Titania. Titania, my nain, issued her a challenge.   It started with Bella searching on the iPad.  Bella starts with what she thinks is the easiest to prove.  The potato cellar.  She starts with the public, academic sites like Oxford, the Royal Gardening Institute, and the like.   The answers are as Titania had said.  Potatoes were an item of the rich or academia when Carlisle was turned.  There is an entire section on how in Shakespeare’s plays, he used them as an equivalent to diamonds.

Bella is shaking her head as she found page after page how the potato did not reach wide adoption till almost a century later.  There was no way that a slum had a potato cellar.  Turnips and parsnips were the root vegetables of choice.  Even then, the quantity required to hide a full-grown man would not be within the means of anyone who would inhabit a slum. There was a severe frost in August that damaged crops.

Titania directed her to search for London and Cullen with the year he had given for his turning.  It turned up the 1^st Baronet Abraham Cullen.  Several sites pulled up.  She started with the history of Parliament and then the House of Commons.  They referenced other pages.  Bella followed the trails to find lists of the man's children.  The Baronet had three sons: Jon, Rushout, and Carlisle.  She looked defeated.  Bella compared three sites on each trail that listed the Baronet.  She put down the iPad.  Titania took one of her hands and rubbed it while I took the other. 

I asked her again to tell me how she came to marry a vampire.  Bella, in a small voice, started with her move to Forks.   Her first day and his extreme reaction to her.  Bella admitted she was curious about him and his family.   Because how they kept apart and how Alice had come up to her, it made her feel seen.  He saved her from a van collision a week after she arrived.  She told me that she dreamed of him coming into her room despite how he seemed to avoid her in school.

I interrupted her, “Did he come into your room?  Without your knowledge or permission?”

“He did.”  Bella offers with a hitch, “ He watches me sleep. “ 

My expression must be frightening because she blurts out, “He was trying to learn about me since he couldn’t hear my thoughts like other people. “

“He what?!”

“ Some vampires have unique gifts or talents. “ Titania states.  She waves her arm in a circle.  “ Fairy and fairy blood have immunity to many of their talents.  “

I caught that she said many. Titania did not say immunity to all their talents. “He can’t read my or Bell's thoughts?”

Before Titania can speak, Bells jumps in. “No, Edward can hear a tone of what Charlie thinks.  “

Titania nods and takes a hair tie out of her jeans pocket.  “It is a choice for us.  We can be closed off or open. “

“Why would I choose to be closed off?” “ Why would I choose to let him know anything?”

Titania grins.  She tyes off the loose braid and points at Bella and me in turn.” You are protective of yourself and distrusting of others.  You are protective of her and want the world to know you as you are”. 

Huh.  I did clean my gun whenever he came to pick up Bella.  The implied threat very obvious.  You hurt my daughter, and I am no longer the law—that sort of makes sense to me. Something bothers me. “Where the hell were his so-called parents while he was breaking into your room? What did they think he was doing?”

Bells frown at that.  “The hospital may be for Carlisle.  Esme, I have no idea what she does with her time since she doesn’t sleep.”

“What do you mean she doesn’t sleep?” This is news to i.  Titania’s face is neutral.  It is too neutral. 

“Vampires do not need to sleep.  They never get tired.”   Bells is thoughtful looking.  Titania cocks her head and looks up at me.

“Does that mean all of them were awake and aware he was sneaking off into your room?” I feel powerless.   He was coming in and out of her room before they were even dating without me knowing.

“Yes.” Bella’s brows furrowed.  Titania rustles in her bag.  She finds the items that she was searching for in her bag. 

“Continue, My Dear One.” Titania hands me a notepad and pens.  She has a set for herself. 

“Why are you taking notes?”  Bells look at Titania. Titania looks Bells in the eye.

“I have to know what actions happened and when.  It is, so I am prepared to handle the violations of our treaty. Your father is still in a bit of shock over the events, but he is a police chief.  He can detect details that others miss.”

“Why? What is going to happen?” Bells shivers.

Titania smiles a shark-like smile.  “You, Charlie, and I are going to meet with Carlisle and two other members of his coven in a few days. I am waiting for Bran as the King of the Shining Throne to give me his permission to act on his behalf.  I intend to arbitrate a path that leaves you living without a complete power vacuum within the Vampires. “

“What?”

“ I am seeking to arbitrate this breach with the Vampires and the Fae.  What works in the Vampire’s favor is that it has not been determined if you and your father are heirs to either throne. Did he think of harming you when he first met you?”

“He told me that he thought about killing everyone in the classroom so that he could drink me without witnesses.  He left school for a week to go hunting in Alaska.”

My face feels hot.  Titania shakes her head slightly.  She is telling me to tamp down my reaction. I take a deep breath. 

“Continue your story, Bells.” I let the breath out slowly.  I prepare to take notes.  I don’t intend to interrupt Bells unless it is for clarification.   I have to be calm.  We learn of Bella’s fascination with Edward. Her learning of the treaty between the Quiellette wolves and the Cold Ones from Jacob.  Without realizing it, Jacob had broken a treaty.

“Did Edward find out that Jacob had broken the treaty?”  I ask as Titania shoots out a question.  “How did Edward react to Jacob telling you about the Cold Ones when Edward found out?

“He thought of killing Jake. “  Bells defends Jake.  “Jake did not know it was real.  He hadn’t phased yet.  He was just trying to impress me with a scary story.”

We encourage her to continue with her timeline. Her search of vampires on the internet.  Her shopping trip with Angela and the girls.  Her near run-in with some aggressive men in Port Angeles. Edward’s rescue and admission of being a vampire.

I had to ask,” Edward used other people’s minds to follow you in Port Angeles before you were dating?”  Titania followed up,” Does he often use other people’s minds to monitor your behavior and location?”

Bells mumbled and explained about Alice’s gift of precognition.  “When did the Cullen’s move to Forks due to Alice’s visions?”

Her answer is a kick in the gut with a Steel toed boot. Two years.   They had been planning on finding her for two years.  Before I even had a hope of my daughter living with me, they were looking to take her away.  I was stupefied with anger. I defended them from Billy, the tribe, and what I thought were small minded people. 

“Do you know how often Alice saw your death in the visions?” Titania's voice was cool. Bells looked flummoxed.  I pinned my daughter with the stare of the Chief of Police.  Bella admitted that even before they went to a meadow, he displayed his powers for the first time.  Alice had seen a knot of visions that included Bella’s death, her life as a vampire, and a human with Edward. 

They knew he could or would murder her.  Edward and Alice knew  that my daughter would die as likely as she would live.   

“How soon after you started dating did Edward say that he would not wish to live if you died?”Titania pushes again.  Bells is defensive and said that it was hard for Edward to be around people fumbling something about Mike Newton and Angela's thoughts. He was jealous because of how they thought of her.  Titania was scribbling notes.  “Did this make you not want to be around Mike, Angela, and the rest of your friends?”

Bella's eyes kept shift back and forth.  She is thinking.  I ask her to continue to more revelations about the Cullens.  Bells layout their ages and detailsof their transformations.  I keep the disdain out of my voice, barely. “Carlisle turned Edward, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett without their permission?  Esme after a suicide attempt, Rosalie after a rape, and Emmett after a bear attack?”

"Why are they around people?   How can they be around people? "She tries to duck around how long they each have been “vegetarian.” Bella admits that Edward likely killed 48 people during his rebellious phase. 

She explains the math. She tells me of Willow's calculations.  I have to correct her.  “ Willow got the math wrong.  2 people a month for 4 years is 96.”

“Two is a low number. “  Titania looks up and catches Bell's eyes. I had heard the phrase eyes that bore into a person to break down a lie. Titania’s eyes are the green of summer.  Her eyes cast down illusions.  Titania continued. “ At least once a week is more likely; they are addicted to blood.  Human blood is like being hit with a speedball- a mixture of cocaine and heroin to a vampire.”

The word triggers something in Bella.  Bells start saying something about being Edwcard’s personal heroin, his singer.   Titania shimmers in my sight, and Bells looks horrified.  I have to ask,”   Have any of them encountered a singer?  How did that work out for the person?”

Bella’s shoulders slump. She says a name.  I encourage her on. The laughing boy Emmett had found his singers.  The family had to move because of his lapses.  I can see the connections forming to those statements in Bella’s mind.  She continues.

“Allice Cullen saw you, and she became friends years before the move to Forks.  She saw enough to buy the shirt Edward wore to the meadow but did not see this James and his coven?”

Bella sputtered about decisions and the impact on Alice’s visions.   The lengths they went to throw James, a tracker, off the scent.   How Alice had been turned in an attempt to escape her death at James’s hands, Alice knew how relentless he was.

“James was the reason Alice was turned?”  I ask. 

“Yes, Alice had a friendly vampire at the asylum.  He liked testing her abilities.  The vampire turned her because he did not want James to kill her and for him to lose access to her gifts . . .” I can see the mental connection to those facts being made in her mind.

“Would it be reasonable that Alice expected the same to happen to you?” Titania asked, taking a sip from a water bottle.

“Um. Uh.  ”Bella stuttered.

“How many days between your meeting of Edward and this attempt on your life?”

“I don’t know.”

“Charlie, when did she enroll in high school?” Titania looks at me and then Bells,” When did he confess he was a Vampire?  When were you attacked by this, James?”

“January 18^th  a for when she enrolled in High School. The hospital bills were all for March 16^th ”   Shit. Fuck that whole miserable family. That is less than two months.  I see Titania’s point.  I know they didn’t start dating till around the beginning of March. They started sometime before Bella told me she was leaving Forks on the 13^th of March.

“When did he tell you he was a vampire, Bella?” I ask again. 

“It was right after I was attacked in Port Angeles.  It was March the 8^th.”

That information hangs out there.  In five days, he convinced her to date him.  In five days, her life was threatened by James.  She was enamored with Cullen to the point she fled with Jasper, who murdered thousands, and Alice, who could see Edward meeting Bella two years with absolute trust.

“My Dear One, I want to stop here for now.  I have some homework for both of you to complete later this evening by yourselves. “

“You sound like a therapist,” I say with a forced laugh.

“I am.” Titania's reply is flat. “ I cannot treat either of you, but I want to give you each a chance to take stock of where you are with some worksheets.   I know other therapists who are knowledgeable about the true nature of the world.  I can give you names for you to find out who fits you best.”

I take in a breath.  I think I would rather roll in broken glass, but I look at my daughter.  My Bells is broken, and I am not whole.   Bella is crying.  “ You don’t want to help me?”

Titania strokes Bella’s face. 

“My Dear One, I love you.  I would do you more harm because I love you.” Titania looks at me.  “ I cannot be neutral.  I have hopes and dreams for both of you that are my own wants. I  . .  You need someone who is solely in your corner but will not make excuses for you.  “

Titania takes a deep breath.  “ I am not that strong.”

Chapter Text

“Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you"

My Hennain says she is not strong enough to help me. I start crying harder.  I am so broken. She was the Queen of the Fairy Court, and she can’t help me.  I should leave.  I am well enough. I should have Edward get me and save them the trouble.  I am just that broken. Charlie couldn’t help me. I look at him.  I don’t even realize that I am speaking out loud. It slips out.  Both Charlie and Titania are telling me no.  Charlie tries to comfort me.  I slap his hands away.  I start hitting at both of them.  I am screaming and crying incoherently.  I am angry.  I am sad.   I am so tired of never being deemed worth anyone's attention but Edwards.  Charlie never fought for me.  

“Why didn’t you come to get me when Mom moved away?  Wasn’t I worth fighting for?”

“Oh, Bells.”  Charlie pulls me into his arms. He is keeping my arms to my sides.   “You are worth everything. . . I thought you needed your mom.”  

 “Tell the whole of it, Charlie. It may hurt, but silence has harmed her enough. “  Titania whispers.  Charlie rocks me in his arms.  “. . . And the courts would not grant custody to a young deputy with two dying parents over a new mother. The lawyers I met with laughed me out of their offices.”

I sob harder.   Titania wraps her arms around both of us as far as she is able. She rubs both of Charlie and me on the back in soothing circles.  “My Dear Ones, I am so sorry for not being there for you.  You have a right to anger and hurt.  Know this. You are worth leveling mountains for and striding through Hell. “

Charlie chuckles, and I can feel the vibration of it against my face.  “ A little dramatic, isn’t it, Nain?”

Titania kisses the back of my head. Her voice is sad. “You say that, but how do you think you got here, Charlie Boy?” 

Charlie pulls away enough to look Titania in the face.  His face asks the question. I feel her take a breath and hold it. “ Robin opened a doorway through a realm that you would know as Hell.  Humans who see it lose their minds or their lives from shock. “  

She places a hand on Charlie’s mouth before he can speak.  “  Robin risked having himself rent into pieces if you opened your eyes.  It would make him vulnerable to what dwells within that place. Robin is not a son of my blood.  You could be restored as you are part of my family.  He could not.   He must have felt desperate. “

“Were there no other options for him to get me here? “ My head is on my father’s chest.  I can hear his heart pounding, but his hold on me is soft.  He is still slightly rocking me.  Titania places her hand over mine on Charlie’s chest.

“The paths of the world that you both could stride as you are, Unseelie. “  She smiles at us both.  “You could circle the world in minutes if either of you were trained.” 

 Titania sighs.

“But you have not been trained.” Titania’s face hardens and then crumbles.  “In our errors, you both have been rendered vulnerable to all manner of harms. You have the rights to anger and all manner of feelings towards us as your kin.” 

She turns away from us. “ I am sorry for my part. “

She gathers her things. “ I hope to find a place in your lives. I will give you some time alone.  Under your Blessing, My Dear Ones.”

“Under your Blessing.” Charlie and I repeat.  She leaves us in the garden.  She stops just before the entrance to the hospital. 

“Talk and truly listen to one another.  “  She is gone.  Now, it is just Charlie and me.  He keeps holding me close.  His grip is loose.  I could pull away if I want.  Charlie doesn’t let go.  It is a new thing for me.  On the one hand, my father and I have always been awkward with affection.  I have never known how to ask for or against any hugs.  Charlie seems to be reticent to hold me.  Or I thought he was.  His hugs have always been one arm and quick.

I want to break away, but I also don’t.  Some part of me wonders if it is like a game of chicken.  Who will pull away first?  A spiteful voice inside my head says he will break away.  He always lets me go.

“Bells.”

“Yes, Charlie” He still has not let go.  I am waiting.  He will pull away. 

“I called into the station when Yemaya was setting up the . . procedure.  I have taken leave for the next two weeks as a . . start.” Charlie slowly presses his lips to my hair.  “ I am here for you. “

He says the last like a question. It is a request for permission.  I argue with myself about saying anything.  I don’t want to be needy.  I don’t want to be a burden. I have always been self-sufficient. I never wanted to be a burden. I remember what Titania said.  Talk, she said.  “ I want you to stay.”

“Thank you. Bells” Charlie squeezes me closer.  It is nice.  He thanked me for saying I wanted him?  I stay there with my dad swaying with me in his arms like a dance.  I let the shadows change on the garden walls. He has not pulled away.

“Do you want to call Jake and let him know you are alive?”

Chapter Text

“I'm gonna fight for you until your heart stops beating."

August 20^th.  It is a Friday, or it will be.  It is past midnight.  I am eating a who bag of Oreos at the kitchen table with Embry.  I am tired from patrol.  School starts back on September 6^th. I want to sleep.  I can’t.  My dreams confuse me. It has been a week since Bella married the Leech.  Did he turn her?   Is she on her way to wherever they go in Alaska when they aren’t in Forks? Did he kill her?   Is she dead somewhere in Brazil?

The whirling bell sound of my dad’s ancient landline rings. I grab it before it can wake Dad.  It is never a good thing to get a call this late. My voice is a croak.  "Hello?”

Silence.  I wait.  I hear a deep breath.  I know that sound.

“Jake.” Her voice is tremulous.   It is the harmony of angels.  I fall to my knees.  

“Bells? “ Embry is at my side in an instant.  He is helping me hold the phone.  I can’t feel it in my hand.  I hear another shaky breath on the other end. 

“Hi, Jake. “ I hear a hitch.” I am sorry to call so late. I remember this number from when I was a kid, but I haven’t memorized your cell  . .” I interrupt her before she can apologize anymore. 

“Are you alive?  Where are you?  I will come to get you.” I am hiccupping the words.” I will come to protect you, Bells.”

“Oh, Jake.  “ She sounds teary.  “ I am still in Brazil. I am ali. .”

“Brazil!?” Embry and I both exclaim. She huffs a laugh. 

“Embry? “ 

“Yes, he’s here. “ “ I am right here, Bella.” Embry and I are still talking over one another.

“Hi, Embers. “ I hear a fragile sort of laugh. “ You keep close to Chief Jacob and keep him safe.  I am safe.  I am away from the Cullens and with my dad.  Don’t worry about him or me. My great-grandparents will keep us both safe. I will call you today or tomorrow at a better time. “

“Wait, Bells!   What do you mean by your great-grandparents?  I don’t understand. “

“Jacob, give me your cell#, and I will text you.   I can only call you on the landline for the cell I have without charges.  I will text you to set up a time to talk.  “ 

“Hold on. Text me something to make certain I gave it to your right  “ A text appears on my phone.

12:11 a.m.  512-407-2689:  Hi Jake!

 I laugh a bit.  “Hi Bells”

I hear a deep breath.   “My Hen_nain  . . . “

“Are you ok?” I interrupt whatever she was going to say next.

“I don’t know, Jake.   I am working on finding out. “I can see her in my mind’s eye gripping the cell tight. “While I figure it out,   I did not want you to think I was dead or turned. I am sorry for calling so late.  I had to do it while I had the courage.  “

“Bells, I don’t care how late or early it is; you call me whenever you need me “ My throat hurts.  My voice is a croak.  It sounds like Bells is crying.  I know that sound too well. 

“I know, Jake. I will text you – it is around five a.m. here.  I have to go.  By Jake ”

“By Bells.” I hear the phone disconnect.  Embry helps me put the phone back on the hook.  I start crying.  I can’t keep it in.  She’s alive.  She’s alive and going to call me.  She is away from Edward.  She is safe.   I do not know who her great-grandparents are or how they are going to withstand the Volturi.  I don’t care.  She’s alive.   

When my tears stop, I look up to see Rachel, Paul, and my dad looking at me with worried eyes. My dad is in Paul’s arms.   Embry tenses as if he is ready to step between the rest of my . . .our family and me. 

“Bella?” Rachel says her name.  I hear what now in the tone.

“Bella is alive.  Charlie is with her, and they are in Brazil.  “  my stomach feels like it is wobbling like a loose wheel. 

“Leech lover called from Brazil?” Paul’s scowl and words bring a growl to my throat.  Embry’s is a half-second echo of mine.

“She called to let Jake know she was alive and get his cell.  She texted him. “ Embry’s words seem to summon another text. The vibration of my phone pulls Embry and my attention.

12:18 a.m.  512-407-2689:  Charlie’s number is 512-407-2873.  You can reach us through text easier since there is a 5 hour time difference. Tell your dad and the pack I we are ok. 

Embry and I read the text.  Embry spoke the words for me. I am laughing.  “She sent a number for Charlie and that we all should know they are ok.  “

“How?”  My dad sounds hopeful but afraid.  His eyes are shiny. “I did not even know Charlie had left the state.” 

“Bells mentioned her great grandparents would keep them safe. She said something that sounded like hen aint.”

“Hen-ain't?” “huh?”  “What language is that?” 

I explain that I don’t know. I could not make my mind pay attention to anything other than she is alive. My dad looks at my phone.  Rachel holds it up and seems to stare at my screen.  It is as if she is willing to tell her more.   I am suddenly tired.   I sway on my feet.  Rachel’s eyes widen.

“Why don’t we all turn in?”  Rachel hands me back my phone.  There are grunts of agreement.  We all decide to go to bed. 

In my small room and bed, I have a hard time turning off my brain. I keep hearing how she said my name.  Jake.   It makes me shiver despite being hot in the house.  My name and the breaths I could hear her take.  Bells is alive. 

My mind is stuck on an endless loop.  She called me.  She did not want me to hurt. Charlie was with her.  He had to know something of what was going on for him to be in Brazil.  How did he get there?  I didn’t even think Charlie had a passport.  Bells is alive.  Bells is still human. 

She mentioned her great-grandparents.  How old would her great grandparent’s be?  Charlie’s parents were old when they had him. Bells is alive.  I start drifting off. 

In my dream, it is that moment when you are awake in a blink.  Then completely in the dream.   I am looking up through Bella’s hair as the sun is setting.  Bell’s skin is glowing as the moon glows on a dark night.  Her hair is mahogany, copper, and gold.  There is this tiara on her head.  It is silver and gold with small antlers.  It has alternating diamonds and rubies where the two metals join.  Her eyes are warm and alive.   

“This is her wolf?” a man who looks like Robin in someways and Charlie in others ask.  His hair is blacker than I have ever seen.  Dr. Tulukaruq is by my side.  He is in the long black plants with bands of shells and bones that click—his apron shimmers along with the wings that fall along his arms.

“He is a child of my child.  He is Quiellete.”  He rustles his feathers and looks the man in the eye—a chime sounds.  I look around for the source.  It sounds again.  I open my eyes and see blinking on my phone.

5:24 a.m.  512-407-2689:  My hennain (great grandmother) will be in touch with the council.  She wants to set up some kind of formal treaty. She is the fairy queen. Or was the fairy queen, but her name is Titania.

While I am digesting that text, another comes in.

5:25 a.m.  512-407-2689:  I have a great uncle Robin.  They really are fairies. It is like Shakespeare, but not.

5:25 a.m.  512-407-2689: Charlie is half fairy.  I am half of that.

I see three little dots.

5:27 a.m.  512-407-2689:  Am I the wrong kind of monster?. 

I type back. No, you are Bells.

Chapter Text

We have been going over the timeline of the Cullens involvement with Bella as a family.  The Volturi interventions are the focus today.  Titania will lead a video conference call with all three major covens to discuss the blood and monetary tithe.  Oberon agrees on three dates:  Bella’s first meeting of the Volturi, their travel to the Newborn battle, and the scouts sent to my house.  Titania tells me there is an account that has been set up for Bella and me. 

I rub my hand over my face.  The purple stone catches the light. It alternately glitters  more blue or red .  The sight of it on my left pinky startles me.  Its silver and gold work with suns and moons.  My uncle Bran had presented it to me at breakfast.

Bran who looks like my pictures of my dad in his soldiers uniform except  hair is long. The faded black and white photo of a young man whose smile captured the heart of my mother.   His voice cracked when he introduced himself to Bells and I.   We met after Willow had bellowed across the rented house to let us know that breakfast was ready. Bells and I walked slowly into the room.   She has a cane for her walking and a brace for her wrist.  We found them all standing in a semi circle before the table. Introductions were made. A smile and nod between Oberon and Titania.  Bran stepped forward.

“ Charlie ap Gryffud ap Auberon a Titania, I present to you the ring of your father.   Wear this sign of our bond and the hope you bring.  I declare you and yours as a child of Faerie.  I will honor you as kin till time and times are done. So swear we all” A multitude of voices joined Bran on the last sentence. I felt the hairs on my neck stand up.  The voices were like the roar of a football stadium.   Bran’s hand glittered with an identical ring.   Robin’s hand had a solely silver ring  in a half moon design with a deep blue stone that seemed to glitter black.  I placed the ring on my hand.  

Robin whooped and Bran threw his head back and laughed.  He grabbed me in a tight hug.  My first meeting and embrace by my uncle Bran.  He stepped back.   I smiled.   “I will honor you  as kin till time and times are done.”

Tears started to fall from his eyes.  My grandfather Oberon’s eyes .  The eyes of my father. I felt my eyes start to burn and blur.  I never thought to see or know any other family than my Bells.  Oberon stepped forward.

“Isabella ap Charlie ap Gryffud ap Auberon a Titania, I present to you a necklace commissioned at the birth of your aunt Rhiannon.  Wear this sign of our bond and the hope your bring.  I declare you and yours as a child of Faerie.  I will honor you as kin till time and times are done.” Oberon presented a necklace in the same style the ring as Bran and I.  The voices called out till times and time are done.

Bells smiled a cheek aching smile.   “I will honor you  as kin till time and times are done.”

I saw Willow touch her throat to her necklace.  It was solely blue and silver like Robin’s ring.  The sigil of my grandfather’s court. 

“Why is Robin and Willow’s different?”  Bells asked. Titania looked down. Oberon opened his mouth to speak.

“We are only blood kin to one family of Faerie.” Robin interjected with a shrug of his shoulders . 

Bells pointed at Willow.  “She call Titania Nain.”  

“My mother did not and does not want to be a grandmother.  “  Robin closed his eyes.  Bran sneered at the mention of Robin’s mother.  His face went blank when noticed my eyes on him.

 “ Let us break our fast!” Oberon gestured to the table.

A murmur of agreement, Titania and Oberon eyes sat down at opposite ends of the table.  Robin pulled out the chair for Titania.  Willow grinned and practically danced in her chair throughout the meal.  Chuckling to myself, I had breakfast with my grandparents, my uncles, my cousin, and my daughter.  It was a first for me.  My childhood was full of friends, and those who became family.  We talked about what to expect of this meeting. 

“ The Volturi owe $5,695,200.00 when the three dates are combined.” Willow offered while gesturing with her sausage covered fork.  I almost spit out my coffee. I coughed and choked

“Be careful Charlie boy. “ Titania looked worried. “It is the full value of 100 pounds of gold on each of the dates?”

Willow nodded and smiled. She turned to Bells and I.  “This is acceptable ?”

I waved her on and sipped my coffee a little slower. Bells looked flummoxed.  The coffee was good.  It was a concession for Bells and I. The rest of the family had tea or beer of all things.   The food was different.   Eggs, bacon, blood sausage, and laverbread.  I have to admit laverbread was good despite being seaweed.

“Romania and Egypt will offer the same amount to try and keep the blood tithe from hitting their covens.” Bran’s hand tighted on his knife.

“Do we accept?” Oberon’s eyes were focused somewhere or somewhen else.

“Why would we? Besides the money?” Bells shivered as spoke.

“It would provide more leverage to have the Volturi leave the Cullens to us.” Titania’s smile was more a baring of teeth. “We still have the baseball game, James assault, the empath’s attack, the newborn battle, and the happenings of the Isle of Esme to sort with them.”

My cup was empty.  “The three you are addressing with the Volturi would warrant three  . . . heads for each date?”

“Or nine.”  Bran interjects as Oberon snaps to attention.

“We have to let the courts decide. When we allowed Gryffud to renounce his claim, your mother and I did not think of including a clause for renouncing the claim of children and their offspring. “

Titania put two sugar cubes in her tea cup.  “ The threat of the threefold would be useful leverage in moving the Volturi out of our way in remedying Bella’s legal situation. “

My coffee mug seemed to refill itself.  It was the Kith. There are things for lack of a better term around us all the time- the kith.  I keep seeing flickers of lights and shadows as we move around the house. I know they are watching us.  They wait for us to voice a thought or attempt an action.  They don’t frighten me strangely.  I trust them .  It just is hard to adjust.  My bed was made the moment I stepped into the ensuite bathroom. I heard a giggle.  I turned around to try and catch sight of what giggled.  The messed bed was picture perfect. 

I am dreading and looking forward to this meeting with the three major covens.  It will be the dress rehearsal for the meeting with Edward and his damned family.   

Chapter Text

“As she sustained wound after wound...the fairy should have fallen, but instead, she danced. This was Titania, the Fairy Queen.   “ — Hiro Mashima

"So after this meeting, you gonna let me set you up with a dating profile Charlie?" Willow is bouncing behind the camera.

Charlie huffs a laugh. "I have just added five family members to my life. I will not be ready to date any time soon.

"You haven't had a relationship since you were married to Renee" Charlie shrugs at my words. Willow's mouth twitched.  I see a campaign from my new cousin in the future. I see myself frown at the thought. I don't really remember him having any romantic relationships while I was growing up. The two years I have lived with him. It has only been us. 
The camera's cord is hooked into the right side of the laptop. My dad, Titania, and I are sitting in three high-backed chairs while Willow adjusts the camera height and focus. I look like a behind-the-scenes glimpse of an awkward television interview. It is an odd sight. I see us in the screen corner of the giant tv screen that the laptop is hooked up to. 
We are dressed so disparately. I am in a dark blue sundress. Charlie is in a blue button-up and khakis. Titania is in a red ballgown that reminds me of flames. She is wearing the gold antler crown with rubies and amber that Bran presented to her and Oberon placed on her head.  Titania is seated between Charlie and me. I know her like this. It reminds me of a dream or vision I had that first night after leaving the Isle of Esme. 
I find myself distracted. I know it is me laughing at Willow's jokes, but vividness that is my own face doesn't quite jibe with how my mind sees me. I have never seen myself so real or alive, and that feeds the disquiet in my mind.  I have never really seen myself except for the brief moment with Willow. 
Charlie. I am blown away by Charlie. He is beautiful. Handsome doesn't quite cut it. 
My awkward, vitamin R drinking, fishing enthusiast dad is beautiful. I have never seen him like this. His skin glows like Titania's. He is golden. His hair is darker than mine, appearing almost black, but turns warm red in the light when as his head turns. Charlie looks at me with love in his eyes. They hold the warmth of an everlasting hearth.
I blink back tears.  Charlie stiffens and starts to get out of his chair. "Ready for me to start the link, Nain?"
"Are you ready, my Dear Ones?" Titania touches my cheek, then Charlie's. Charlie shoots me a look. I smile. He relaxes.
"Yes, I think we are." I raise my chin and look at the big screen. 
"Start the link."
An icon of an old-style phone starts vibrating on the screen. Willow activates Egypt, Romania, and finally Volterra. I struggle not to cringe when I see Aro's grinning face. Charlie's mouth is tight. I can see us as a small square in the corner of the screen. 

"I recognize that all three great covens have answered the call of Faerie to meet. We are to address violations to our treaty by the Volturi." Titania turns to Charlie. He is glaring daggers at the faces of the Volturi." I call this meeting to order. You know me. I am Titania. My associates will introduce themselves so that you may know them." 

""I am known commonly as Police Chief Charlie Swan of Forks, Washington. I am Charlie ap Gryffud ap Auberon a Titania, and I am kin of the Seelie and Unseelie, scion to the Shining and Obsidian Thrones, child of the Courts of Dreams and Nightmares, and offspring of Summer and Winter Courts." Willow has given him two thumbs up behind the camera. 

Aro doesn't think so much as twitch. His rictus grin stays put. Let's see if I can knock it off his face. "I am known commonly as Bella Swan of Forks, Washington. I am Isabella ap Charlie ap Gryffud ap Auberon a Titania, kin of the Seelie and Unseelie, scion to the Shining and Obsidian Thrones, child of the Courts of Dreams and Nightmares, and offspring of Summer and Winter Courts. " 

Amun looks triumphant. Vladimir looks bored and picks a piece of lint off his sleeve. Marcus's hand is covering his mouth. Cais eyes narrow as he speaks. 

"I don't see what we have done wrong." Titania blinks slowly. 

"As part of the accord, renewed by the Three Lead Covens of Volterra, Romania, and Egypt with Fairy during the Treaty of The Hague signed in 1720. The penalties for any attempt to harm one of Fairy blood is three heads and 100 pounds of gold. I can name three occasions where the Volturi threatened harm to Isabella or Charlie. On March 19th, Edward Cullen attempted to reveal the existence of Vampires to the world. A small matter of your own internal security. "She points at Aro. Willow marks a sheet that Titania had provided her.

Aro chuckles. "We do not know what you are talking about."

"At this time, three of your guards seized Isabella along with the Cullens. The witch twin was there when our treaty was signed. You ordered Felix to kill her. You three were more than close enough to recognize her scent as one of the blood. "Titania gestures at all three Volturi. Amun seems like a child whose Christmas has come early. Again, Willow makes another mark.

Caius snarls. "Do you not think you are over-reacting?"

"After this instance, you ordered the Cullens to change her, or all she knew would die. When Victoria's Army ran rampant over Seattle, you sent emissaries to investigate. They arrived five days before the battle. They watched as the attempt was made on my great granddaughter's life. And confirmed the Volturi's blessing to change our Isabella." 

"Dear Isabella, misremembers the events." Aro chuckles. "A human failing."

I snort. I feel my blood hot on my face. How dare they! The words they use are the ones Titania warned me about. She said they would attempt to gaslight me or dispute our claims and perception of events. 

 "Jane said she's still human. The Volturi don't give second chances." I imitate Jane's tone. "I had a wedding invitation to the Volturi."

"You dispute these facts?" A current of air starts moving the clothes of the Volturi. 

"We are not arguing. We are discussing the interpretation of events."Aro gestures to the Volturi.

"It is a fact that you sent more guards to Forks. Two of them entered my home without my permission. To investigate or kill me, I cannot know. But, it is a fact they had arranged for transport of a body. "Charlie's lips curl up.

"Let us begin this again. We can start from square one with a clean slate." Aro sounds hopeful. Willow shouts from behind the camera. "Gaslighter BINGO!"

"I claim Felix, Heidi, and Jane for the first attempt on the blood." Titania holds up her hand. Jane laughs. The screen flickers. A whisper grows around us. I turn my head to look around for the source of the stories. Jane's head is in Titania's hand. She is snarling. A white-hot flame appears, and purple smoke billows. The flame and smoke swirl like a drain. It is gone. Amun snickers. 

"Are we ready to discuss terms for the other's my family is due?" Charlie's grin is feral as he speaks.  

Chapter Text

“But I’ll never see anyone else, Bella. I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see something else. Ask Quil or Embry. It drives them all crazy”

---

It has been one week since Leah took the first dose of the morning-after pill. There is no definite yes or no to whether or not she is pregnant. I am so afraid of finding out Leah is pregnant. It isn’t how I want or when I want to start a family. I am not ready for that. I am not prepared for any of the things that have come my way since the Cullens returned. I had no choice for phasing. I had no choice but to take over the pack. If a child happens, I will deal with that as it comes.

Some tutors are coming to the school so the Pack can work on getting their GEDs. Some of us, like Paul and Quill, want to work on fishing boats or even one of the tourist boats. The fact there are five runs for Salmon a year makes that viable for making a living. I like fixing things. I may try to start a garage. I could work on boats and cars if I get near the marina. It is a lot more equipment to do both. I have no idea where the money for that will come from.  I just want to give up some times, but I have to keep moving one foot in front of the others.

Things being unsettled with Leah has ratcheted up my stress. I keep it together in front of the Pack. With Embry talking to my Dad about the Black history and Paul being up Rachel’s ass, I have few outlets at home. My dad and I have come to a schedule of sorts for talking early every morning by going to First Beach. I bring coffee and a blanket for my dad. I talk about everything about how things are going as I work on being the Alpha in practice as well as in name. It keeps me sane.

The other touchstone for my sanity is Bells. I have talked to Bells twice since the call. We talk about everything and nothing except what happened at the cabin with Leah. It feels like I am holding on to a burning pan and I can’t let it go.  Just like I can't let go of this secret.

 I don’t know how to talk to Bells about it when I can’t see her. My dad listens and lets me vent about my fears. My brain reminds me Bells had chosen Cullen. My heart is petrified she will feel I cheated. I know I didn’t. I can’t get my heart to understand it isn’t betrayal. We aren't together like that despite my hopes or dreams. We are meeting Tulukaruq at first beach early.

We are at the cliffs just before dawn breaks.  It is supposed to be a meeting for the doc to exchange of info or something. He said we should be prepared to run when he called. He even suggested loincloths for the Pack. I told him we would consider it. When I communicated it to the rest of the Pack, I had jeers and cheers. I told them to wear whatever they wanted. I was wearing shorts. I am not a fan of the buttflap. I would rather be naked than in a thong.

Every wolf is there. We all kept to shorts with Leah in her sundress. Awkward is a description of that relationship. It has been and continues to be a wild ride since Bells married the leech. Everyone knows we had sex. Everyone knows we are on a pregnancy watch. Privacy is something I crave. None of us really have any.

I alpha ordered every pack member to actively use birth control without exception after getting the class from Sue and Dr. Tulukaruq. I feel like a major asshole about it. However, I can't help but agree with the council after confirming there are possibly four new wolves on the way. Quill copped that he had sex with the two Hokwat girls and the tribe member. The timing is right for him to be the father of all three. I want to pound my head on the cliffs till they break, or I do.

Dr. Tulukaruq raises his hand in a wave. There is a low fire of cedar wood burning. He is in ceremonial garb. He has the woven, woolen dog and cedar shirt and leggings of my dreams. His leather apron and leggings clink with shells. He has a shawl or blanket-like robe that looks like feathers attached to his arms.

"Thousands of winters before the arrival of the White Drifting-House people (ho-kwats), the Quileute and the ghosts of their ancestors lived and hunted here. For as long as the memory of legend, the Quileutes flourished in their homeland, which stretched from their isle-strewn Pacific beaches along the rain forest rivers to the glaciers of Mt. Olympus. Today, Quileutes need only lift their eyes to see the burial place of chiefs atop James Island, or A-Ka-Lat (Top of the Rock). This is their birthright and heritage. Your birthright and heritage. Your ancestors dared challenge kwalla, the mighty whale, and recounted the exploits of the wily raven."

He smiles as he mentions the raven. Staring at him over the fire, the flames seem to flare, and the sun rises, turning him to fire. I shiver. His mouth opens to issue a gurgling croak. He raises his feather cloak in a blink. A raven is in his place. The raven flies to me and pulls my hair with a shrill cry. He passes a few feet over the cliff to hovering where the Pack jumps into the ocean for a cliff dive. I understand.

"Phase! We follow the raven." Raven dives and holds a position maybe half a mile from the shore. I hit the water as a wolf. Embry is at my right shoulder as Quill is to the left. We are swimming towards James Island. It was returned to the Tribe in 1966 from the Department of the Interior. It is a holy place that only the Tribe may visit. I don't think we can keep Raven out, nor would we want to try.

Raven flies steadily to the shores of James Island. It barely has a coast with steep rock cliffs. That is why it was the perfect fortress for the Tribe. Raven is halfway up the cliff flying in a circle. Finally, we come to the beach, and he has a mocking cry we come to shore. The others are behind us, treading water.

"How the fuck do we climb without bringing down the Island as wolves?" Quill's fear is justified. The island is sacred. It is already being eroded by the ocean and global warming. There's talk about having to move the school and the government of the Tribe inland for flooding.

"My mom would kill me if we hurt the Island, Jake!" Seth is over six-two, a slayer of cold ones, and his five-foot-nothing mom terrifies him.

"The whole tribe would beat our asses if we did anything to resting place of the chiefs." Embry is walking back and forth in front of the cliff. His tail is flicking in agitations.

Raven dives and pulls on Embry's ear. He yips in pain. Raven laughs and attacks again. Embry transforms to cover his bleeding ear with his hand. The bird goes to his spot halfway up the cliff. Oh. Duh. I phase and pull on my shorts that were tied around my leg. I start to climb. It is almost a smooth vertical climb.

I blame lack of sleep and watching him turn into a bird without a phase for being dumb. I didn't even think about phasing back to a man. It was witnessing absolute magic that stunned me stupid. It totally makes sense that I didn't think of that. It is hard for me to climb to the top of the island. How the hell do the chiefs get buried here?

I pull myself up and wait.  Once, the entirety of the Pack is here. Raven transforms into himself, but he is now in moccasins and a loincloth with a woven basket hat. "You, the Quileutes, were changed from wolves by a wandering Transformer. He was a spirit guardian."

"Is this where you tell us the transformer was Robin Goodfellow the Puck dude?" Colin sounds wobbly. I have no idea why that thought popped into his head. There are growls from the rest of the Pack. They start slapping each other on the back of the head. Seth gets Colin in a headlock.

The Pack continues to wrestle as Raven rolls his eyes. "No."

"Stop fucking around!" I use the Alpha command only barely to get them to stop. I nod to Raven "Please continue."

Raven is now a little boy playing with a Thunderbird doll. "By legend, Your only kindred, the Chimakum Tribe, was washed away by the flood and deposited near Port Townsend. The Chimakum lived until Chief Seattle's Suquamish Tribe wiped them, leaving the Quileutes with no known relatives on earth. Quileutes were thus surrounded by unrelated tribes, the Makah — Nuh-Chul-Nuth who migrated down from the west coast of Vancouver Island; S'Klallam to the northeast along the Strait of Juan de Fuca; and Quinault, south at Taholah, both descended from the Salishan."

"I already learned about the history in school. So why are you doing this?" Paul grouses. I don't even have to move. Embry smacks him on the back of the head.

"You must learn the other gifts and traditions of your people. Learn them. You are all descended from the medicine men who honored the creator with the wolf dance. Five tribal societies represented the elk hunter, the whale hunter, the fisherman, the weather predictor, and the medicine man. Families owned dances, songs, and a range of other ephemeral items. Find your guardian or guardians."

Murmurs from the Pack. A buzz of excitement through my veins. My eyebrows meet. "My dad said that each person had their own guardian and that they would pray to it, along with the sun and Tsikáti (the universe). I don’t know who was the last person to have done the rituals to get one. Would we have to have spirit quests? If so, how?"

Raven smiles. "First, have a potlatch ceremony — an honoring giveaway celebration and redistribution of wealth to introduce your brother as a son of the Tribe. Then, build canoes and the traditional seal hunting weapons. Take the ritual baths. Hunt the seal. See which one of your ancestral allies come to you after you spend the time in the long house. Your grandfather can tend the fire."

Raven points to Quill when he talks about the Quill the first tending the fire. We will sweat to commune with spirits after being rubbed in seal oil and eating the hunt.

“What are all the allies?” Seth asks timidly. “I know of the Whale and Porpoise.”

“I heard of Screech Owl and Two-headed Dog from my grandfather.” Quill shrugs. The rest of the pack offers up Bear, Horned Owl, Snake, Lightning, Sun, Moon, Rainbow, Otter, Cougar, Axe, Bow, Spear, and Adze.

Raven smiles and nods. “Follow me.”

He walks to the center of the island where the remains of a longhouse remain. There are elegantly carved house posts decorating the house. He points, "The crest of your family Jacob and Embry Black."

Embry and I stare at the posts. We walk slowly cataloguing the images. The posts show wolves, ravens, moons, suns, snakes, and... a swan.

FUCK!

Chapter Text

https://snarkbeaboojum.tumblr.com/post/660175674787659776

So I call you Dr. Kay?" I ask the image of the broad Polynesian face half a world away.  Dr. Kahale Maoli is the second therapist recommended to me by my Nain.

"You can call me Dr. Kay or Dr. Maoli." Then, finally, the smile reaches this man's eyes.  Titania recommended him because his mother was a word I cannot pronounce on a dare. He was raised knowing about the world as it truly is.  

"You do much fishing Dr. Kay?" I see a net behind him. He laughs and admits that he does.  We chit-chat for a moment about fishing. Finally, I acknowledge that I don't know much about fishing with a net. He admits he isn't used to the patience needed for fly fishing. He compare the style of fishing he does to farming.  I am a little confused by that.   I don't know why Titania wants me to have someone to talk to so bad. But I understand why I am doing it.  Titania is in a bed across the hall near comatose.  I checked on her before beginning this call by checking for breaths and a pulse.  Her breathing was shallow.

The memory is strong.  Titania is kneeling before Bran.  Bran is stiffening and closing his eyes for three deep breaths. He raised his hands to hover above the crown.   Bran whispering as he looked at Willow. "Take her home, Robin."

Willow was not having any off this. "Daddy, I don't want to go back to Austin!   Nain will need me! "

Willow was stomping her feet and raising her hands to fists. She looked around the room.  She was looking for enemies or allies.  She had tears in her blue eyes," Daid  . . Uncle Bran, tell Daddy I have to stay. "

"Willow, You will have to go." Oberon and Titania are speaking over each other "It will be all right, Little Tree."

"No! Uncle Bran, Stop.  Uncle Charlie?  Daid? Bella?  Stop him. " Willow is pleading. " Please don't do this to Nain.

 "Willow Caitrin Goodfellow!"  Robin's voice was a thunderstorm. His arms are around his struggling daughter  He lifts her off her feet. "We have no choice. "  

 "Why don't you tell me a little about yourself ." But, again, I am pulled out of the memory.

"My name is Charlie Swan.  I am the father of Bella Swan, the Chief of Police for Forks, and I recently found out I am a half-fairy."

Dr. Kay nods.  He scribbles. "Let me repeat what I heard. You are a father, a respected member of the community, and have western Fae blood. "

"Correct." I roll my eyes.

 
"You didn't know that one of your parents was Fae?"

 
"No. I grew up just plain Charlie from Forks, whose dad took him and his friends fishing.  My father was Geoffrey Swan.  He was a veteran and managed the local hardware store.  My mom taught piano and Sunday school.   It was a typical, mundane life. I did not know that I was Fae or related to Fae. "

"No  . .  . experience with the Supernatural or Other Kins as I grew up knowing it?" Dr. Kay taps his chin with his pen.

"No." I grind out.
"No?"

"The first experience that I knew about was when a stranger showed up at my door showing me an image on the phone with my daughter in the hospital. "I grab the glass to my right and drink a few gulps.  Dr. Kay just watches.
After I put down the glass, he asks," Why is that?"

"My father asked my grandparents to leave my daughter and me to a mundane life.  I thought myself and my daughter to be the last of my family.  I thought we were alone." 

"How did you learn that your grandparents and uncles were alive?"

"You know them? "My eyes narrow. This comment is suspicious to me.

He shakes his head. "I know Titania professionally. I know of her family in a general way.  How did you learn your grandparents and uncles were alive?"

"My uncle Robin, who is the Puck or is a Puck, came to my daughter's rescue when she escaped from her husband who . . . hurt her. My daughter married a vampire. It could have killed her. "I take a deep breath. "I don't know why I am talking to you?"

"You don't?" Dr. Kay tucks his long wavy hair behind his left ear.  His voice does a lilt at the end.  I worry my lip.  Bella comes by habit naturally.

"My Nain . . .my grandmother Titania wants me to have someone to talk to that understands the supernatural. "

"Can you talk to her?" This conversation is getting frustrating. I know how interrogation works.  

"I...I can talk to her. "He makes a note out of the shot of the camera. A noncommittal hum comes from his mouth. "I think I can.  It is new."

He quirks an eyebrow." Our relationship is new.  There is so much that I don't know about them or the world."

"Did you know your daughter was marrying a vampire?"

I huff a laugh. "If I knew Edward was a vampire, there is no way in hell I would have let him or the rest of his so-called family stay in Forks.  I would have found a way to get them out."

"Did your daughter know she was marrying a vampire?"

I feel the vein in my temple start t throb. "Yes."

"What do you think about that fact?"

"I don't know why she would choose that.  What did I do that my daughter chose to die?  What did I do to drive her to choose death?" I grab the back of my neck and stretch to the ceiling.  I  look at the sheetrock for a moment.  

"What about your parents?"  

 
"My parents?"

"As Fae, your father could have lived centuries. Instead, he chose a mortal life. He chose to leave you ignorant and alone. Your family agreed to that.  What do you think about that?"

Feelings swirl. Anger at his words. How dare he!  My dad didn't choose to die. But he did. Sadness because it feels true. I could have known my grandparents and uncles.  Even if he had chosen to die with my mom, I could have had all of them.  Is it me?  Is it something in me that makes them decided to die to get away from me?  My eyes dart around the room.  I see the clock. "I  . . I need to go."  

Dr. Kay cocks his head to one side. "I think there is a lot you have to think about, Charlie. Would you like to set up a follow-up in a week?  Same time?"

“I.  . .uh.”

"I am here for a perspective outside of your family. We can talk fishing or anything else."

"Ok." 

I close the screen and take a deep breath.  I shut down the laptop.  I need out of this room.  

My feet head take me to Nain's room.  I knock on the door.  A voice bids me enter.  It is male.I open the door, and my Uncle Bran is sitting on Titania's bed.  He has her hand that is without the iron band in both of his.  

"Am I interrupting?" He shakes his head no.  I walk over and take her other hand.  I feel a sort of heat coming off of the band.  It reminds me of the fever of an infected wound.  

Bran gestures to the manacle and Titania.
"She will be in and out of consciousness for a few days.  She will need to build up strength to deal with the Cullens."

"Why did you take the crown? It seemed to make her stronger." One of his hands comes to rest on top of mine. I feel a flare of heat, and a hint of rot hits my nose.  My face screws up in disgust.

"The crown is only a reprieve.  There is a cost for throwing off the manacle. "Bran pulls his hand away. "You can only hold back the flood for so long."

"Why not reroute the river or let it flow?" I look straight into eyes that remind me so much of my father.

"She chose this exile as punishment." He doesn't flinch from my gaze.  I guess he certainly is old enough not to blink. I am stubborn enough.

"She did, or you and Oberon?" I may not know everything that is going on, but I will find out.

"She did." His words sound helpless to me.  Maybe?  Maybe not?

"Why would she need to be punished?  What is her crime?" I don't let my eyes drop.

"If you ask her, the death of my sister, my loss of my love, the death of my brother, and the near loss of your daughter." His eyes flicker to her face.

"I am asking you."

"She is choosing to give up." His mouth screws up in a grimace.

Chapter Text

"I miss Edward," I mumble into my teacup, the warmth seeping into my palms as if trying to soothe the aching hollow in my chest. My heart is lodged in my throat, constricting each word, forcing the admission out like it's being torn from me. "I know I shouldn't, but I do."

Titania, ever so poised, quirks a small smile as she finishes stirring her cup. The delicate clinking of her spoon against the porcelain is the only sound for a moment, save for the distant chirping of birds in the formal garden where we are seated. The house Titania and Robin rented is grand, with sprawling grounds that seem to stretch on forever, a stark contrast to the dense, shadowy forests surrounding Forks. 

Titania pops a smoked salmon finger sandwich into her mouth, her movements graceful and deliberate. She then pats my knee gently, a small gesture that carries a world of comfort. The table before us is laden with an array of delicate sandwiches, cheeses, and jams for the cake. I can eat as much or as little as I like, a freedom I hadn't realized I'd missed until now.

 It's such a change from how it was with Edward and the Cullens, where every meal was an exercise in restraint and observation. I always felt awkward, the only one eating among them, aware of their silent, watchful eyes. They monitored my every bite, every sip, their concern veiled in an attempt to appear nonchalant. "My Dear One," Titania's voice brings me back to the present, "we removed the taint of the vampire from you. We did not remove your heart."

I blink rapidly at her statement, trying to process her words. Her tone is so matter-of-fact, so understanding, that it takes me off guard. This is Titania, my great-grandmother, a being so ancient and wise, and yet she speaks to me with such simplicity and clarity. I glance down at the piece of Caws Cerwyn cheese in my hand, its crumbly texture a stark contrast to the smoothness of my teacup. The taste is sharp, almost overwhelming, but I savor it anyway. I hadn't realized how much I missed flavors, real, rich flavors that weren't filtered through a haze of anxiety and dread.

"It doesn't make sense," I mutter, my voice wavering as I flex my wrist, a daily exercise now to regain the motion I'd lost. The memory of pain is still fresh, a constant reminder of what he did to me. "Edward... He hurt me." The words taste bitter, like ash in my mouth. "He controlled me. I..." I trail off, unsure of how to finish that thought.

"That knowledge does not erase what you felt," Titania says gently, spreading a rose petal jam onto a piece of cake. Her movements are steady, unhurried, as if we have all the time in the world. "No matter how those feelings came about... they were real to you." The jam glistens under the afternoon sun, a vibrant contrast to the cake's pale crumb. I hadn't known about rose petal jam before today, but now that I do, I discover I like it. 

There's something poetic about it—something delicate and sweet, born from something as simple as a flower. Titania gestures with the jam knife, her eyes meeting mine. "You still experienced love for him."

The words hang between us, heavy with truth. My throat tightens as I chew on another piece of cheese, the rich flavor turning sour in my mouth. "He broke my wrist and my hip. He hurt me horribly, and I miss him." The admission is wrenched from me, leaving me feeling raw and exposed. "I should not miss him."

I release a shaky breath, struggling to swallow past the lump in my throat. The truth is hard to speak out loud, even harder to acknowledge to myself. "I am broken," I whisper, the words barely audible, even to my own ears.

"No." Titania's voice is firm as she puts down her cup with a rattle, the sound sharp in the stillness of the garden. "You are hurt. You are admitting what you feel. That is the correct course of action."

Her words are meant to comfort, but they only stir up more doubts within me. "Or I was making it sound worse than it was when I was explaining it to you and Charlie," I say, my voice tinged with uncertainty. Was I exaggerating? Was I just trying to make sense of something senseless?

Titania smooths her napkin in her lap, her expression thoughtful. "Bella, what would you say to a person who had their wallet stolen?"

I frown, confused by the sudden change in topic. My hands instinctively trace the edge of my phone in my right pocket, the familiar shape grounding me. It's like a safety net—knowing I can text Jake whenever I need to. He may not respond immediately or even quickly, but it's there, a lifeline of sorts. But I don't understand what this has to do with my wedding night, and the bafflement must show on my face.

"What would you say to someone who had their wallet stolen?" she asks again, her tone patient.

"I would say that it wasn't their fault," I answer slowly, still trying to piece together where she's going with this. Titania nods, encouraging me to continue. "If the thief took it while they were walking around, I would say they didn't do anything to deserve it. The thief chose to steal."

"And if they had their wallet on display or left it out in the open?" Titania's voice is gentle, but there's an edge of insistence to her question.

I hesitate, sensing the underlying point but reluctant to face it. "It was still the choice of the thief," I say finally, my gaze dropping to the ground. The truth of it resonates within me, even as I try to reject the implications. Titania lifts my chin with a finger, her verdant green eyes soft and full of understanding.

"He chose to rape you," she says, her voice steady and calm. "No matter his species or your marital bonds, he decided to continue after you said to stop. You may not be ready to say it or substitute the words in your head for what happened. But, it is what happened."

The word hangs in the air, a heavy, unyielding truth that I've been avoiding. "He is my husband," I defend, almost on reflex, the words coming out automatically. "I told him I wanted a wedding night."

"Consent is not a blanket permission," Titania counters gently. "You can revoke it at any time." She offers me more tea, and I nod numbly, trying to process the enormity of what she's saying. Her chuckle is dark and warm, a sound that's both comforting and slightly unnerving. I can't help but smile in response, though it feels strange on my lips.

"I am not certain how that works for things other than this," I admit, gesturing vaguely at the table and the world beyond it, my thoughts still swirling.

"Are you familiar with S&M?" Titania asks, her tone conversational as if she's discussing the weather. My eyebrows shoot up in shock, and I can't help the incredulous look I give her. Did my great-grandmother just mention kinky fetish sex? "There is a popular song right now that mentions it by a Rihanna."

"Hennain!" I exclaim, my face heating up in embarrassment. The idea of Titania, my ancient, regal great-grandmother, being aware of something so... modern and risqué, is almost too much to comprehend.

"My Dear One," Titania says with a grin, her dimples deepening as she takes in my mortified expression. "I have been alive for literally thousands of years. There is very little in the realm of sexuality that I am unfamiliar with. Your great-grandfather can transform his shape into anyone or anything."

My mouth drops open at that revelation, my mind conjuring up all sorts of images that I desperately try to push away. "Uh." I stammer, feeling like the ground has been pulled out from under me. I'm tempted to crawl underneath the table to hide from the sheer awkwardness of this conversation, but her laughter echoes around us, rich and melodic. It's a sound that vibrates through the air, warm and full of life. I realize that she's teasing me, trying to ease the tension.

"The reason I mention S&M," she continues, her expression sobering, "is that the best notion that has branched out from the practice is explicit consent." Titania's face turns serious, her green eyes darkening with intensity. "The participants discuss what they want, don't want, negotiate any grey areas, and have agreed on communication terms. The safe word is an endpoint without question."

"You want me to try S&M?" I ask, horrified at the thought. I can't imagine wanting someone to hurt me, not after everything I've been through. My stomach churns at the memory—Edward's cold, unyielding grip, the pain, the tearing. A flash of sunlight blinds me for a moment, and then my eyes refocus on Titania, grounding me in the present.

"No, I do not want you to try S&M," she says firmly, her tone leaving no room for misunderstanding. "I want you to take the principle of explicit consent and apply it to everything about you. I want you to think about permission, boundaries, and your autonomy."

Her words resonate deep within me

"How do I do that?" I drag my fingers through my hair, feeling the strands slip through my fingertips. My scalp tingles from the tugging, but it's nothing compared to the tumultuous storm brewing inside me. I want to pull it out, to scream, to let out all the pain and confusion that's been festering for so long.

"You start by admitting what happened and that you did not deserve it." Titania's voice is steady, unyielding in its quiet strength. She reaches for my face, but then hesitates, her hand hovering just inches away. There's a question in her eyes, a silent request for permission. I nod, giving her the okay. Her touch is warm, her fingers soft against my skin, and I feel a shiver run down my spine as she cups my cheek gently.

"You start by making choices and having them respected." Her words are like an anchor, grounding me in the present, pulling me away from the swirling chaos in my mind. Titania's hand is warm on my cheek, the roughness of her fingertips a reminder that she is both powerful and tender. I've noticed that she embroiders in the evening, her fingers deft and precise as they work the needle through delicate fabric. There's a quiet strength in her, a resilience that I can only aspire to.

I close my eyes, leaning into her hand, feeling the warmth seep into me. The sunlight filters through my eyelids, painting the world behind them in a soft, glowing red. The warmth of the sun sinks into my bones, chasing away the lingering chill that Edward left behind. I sit there, just feeling, just being, and for the first time in a long while, I feel... safe. Titania doesn't withdraw her hand; she doesn't try to speak or push me further. She simply lets me be, holding space for me in a way that is both comforting and empowering.

As I sit there, something shifts within me. It's subtle at first—a faint tingling in my fingertips, a warmth that starts in my chest and slowly spreads through my body. The red glow behind my eyelids intensifies, becoming brighter, more vivid, until it feels like I'm standing in the center of the sun itself. I open my eyes in a long blink, expecting the light to fade, but it doesn't. It remains, a shimmering aura that seems to surround everything, including Titania. She is bathed in the same light, a soft, golden glow that wavers faintly around her like a living flame.

I glance down at my own hands, half expecting them to be unchanged, but they're not. They are glowing too, wrapped in the same ethereal light. It's not just my hands, I realize with a start—the glow surrounds all of me. It pulses with each beat of my heart, growing brighter with every breath I take. I feel a rush of emotions—fear, wonder, awe—all mingling together in a dizzying swirl. I look to Titania for answers, but she only smiles at me, pride shining in her eyes.

"Hold on to it, Bella," she whispers, her voice gentle but firm, as if she knows how easily the glow could slip away. I glance up at her and see a smile—a genuine, proud smile that makes my heart swell. She believes in me. The thought is almost overwhelming, but I bite my lip and concentrate, willing the glow to stay. I hold my breath, focusing all my energy on the light, and to my amazement, it grows brighter. I exhale slowly, the glow dimming slightly but still present, still there.

"That is a promising start, My Dear One," Titania says, her voice filled with approval. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, my hands shaking as I reach for my teacup. The warmth of the tea grounds me, its familiar comfort a stark contrast to the surreal experience I've just had. Titania giggles, a sound that is so full of joy and life that I can't help but smile back. It's the laughter of someone who has seen and done so much, and yet still finds wonder in the small things.

"What was that?" I ask, my voice trembling slightly. My hands are still shaking as I sip the tea, the warmth spreading through me, calming my nerves. Titania giggles again, like a child who has just discovered a secret.

"Your Seelie heritage gives you a... shield of sorts," she explains, her eyes twinkling with mischief. I remember the shimmer I saw around her when she was angry, the way the air seemed to ripple with heat and light when she incinerated Jane's head. The heat and smoke had shot straight up, never touching her, as if she were protected by an invisible barrier.

"What are the other... abilities of the Summer Court?" I ask, curiosity getting the better of me. A small smile tugs at my lips as I think about the possibilities. "Can you change shape like HeinDaid?"

Titania snorts a laugh, shaking her head. "No, I cannot change my shape. My husband and all of my sons can wear another's face or become the likeness of objects. It is a frustrating gift of the Unseelie." She rolls her eyes, but there's a fondness in her irritation, a hint of affection that tells me she's not truly upset.

I can't help but imagine what it must have been like, raising children who could transform into anything. The thought is both amusing and slightly terrifying. I picture Bran and Gryffud disguising themselves as furniture or random objects around the house, causing mischief just for the fun of it. The image is so absurd that I burst out laughing, the sound surprising me with its intensity. It's been so long since I've laughed like this—really laughed, with no reservations or fear of being judged.

"Anything else?" I ask, still chuckling as I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. The lightness in my chest is a welcome change, a brief respite from the heaviness that has weighed me down for so long.

Titania looks thoughtful for a moment, her expression shifting from amusement to something more serious. There's a fleeting sadness in her eyes, a sorrow that seems to pass as quickly as it appeared. She stands, gesturing for me to do the same. "Take off your shoes," she instructs, her tone leaving no room for argument.

I quirk an eyebrow, puzzled by the sudden request. "Take off your shoes, Isabella Marie," Titania repeats, her voice firm. There's a note of authority in her tone that makes it clear she's not just asking—she's telling.

With a sigh, I slip off my shoes and stand, feeling the cool grass beneath my feet. Titania leads me away from the table, guiding me to a patch of bare soil near a hedge. The earth is cool and slightly damp under my feet, a stark contrast to the warmth of the sun on my skin. "Close your eyes and listen to my voice," Titania instructs, her voice soft but commanding.

"Okay," I say, my heart beating a little faster. I feel vulnerable, exposed, standing barefoot on the earth with my eyes closed. The sensation is strange, almost unsettling, but I shake it off, trusting Titania to guide me.

"Feel the earth underneath your feet," she says, her voice a soothing presence in the stillness of the garden. "Let it pulse in time with your heart." Her words don't make much sense, but I try anyway, focusing on the feeling of the soil beneath me. At first, it's just a sensation—a slight tickle, a coolness against my skin. But as I concentrate, I begin to feel something more. It's like a ripple, a subtle vibration that starts in my chest and spreads outward, resonating through my body and into the earth.

I furrow my brows, trying to make sense of the sensation. It's faint at first, just a whisper of movement, but it grows stronger with each heartbeat. It's like the earth is alive beneath me, its pulse mirroring my own. I can feel the entire garden—the grass, the flowers, the trees—everything connected by this pulse.

"Feel the pulse," Titania's words are soft but insistent, urging me to go deeper, to connect with the life around me. I concentrate harder, my mind filling with images of the garden, the way it looks, the way it feels. I can see it in my mind's eye, a living, breathing entity. "Use the pulse to pull on the plants," Titania instructs, her voice steady and sure.

I shake my head, unsure of how to do that. "Isabella Marie ap Charlie ap Gryffud ap Oberon, pull them to you!" Titania's voice rings with authority, her words carrying the weight of command.

Something within me responds to the call, a deep, primal instinct that I didn't even know I had. I grab hold of the pulse in my mind and pull. There's a rustling sound, a whisper of movement that grows louder and more insistent. I open my eyes to see the hedge and the other plants in the garden leaning towards me, straining to reach me. Every leaf, every blade of grass is tilted in my direction, as if drawn by some invisible force.

I gasp, the sight overwhelming me. The entire garden is alive, moving, responding to my will. The plants seem to vibrate with energy, their leaves rustling in a sound that's almost like a whisper. I can feel them—really feel them—like they're an extension of myself. The sensation is so intense that I almost lose my balance, but Titania is there, steadying me with a firm hand on my shoulder.

"Titania..." I whisper, my voice trembling with awe and disbelief.

"You have the gift, Bella," she says, her voice thick with emotion. I glance at her, and she is crying, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. She looks at me with such pride, such overwhelming love, that it brings a lump to my throat. "You are the first in generations to have this gift."

I want to say something, to thank her, to tell her how much this means to me, but the words won't come. Instead, I just nod, feeling a strange mixture of emotions—joy, relief, fear—all swirling together inside me. Titania pulls me into a hug, rocking me back and forth, her words a comforting murmur in my ear. She tells me how proud she is, how special I am, and I feel tears pricking at my eyes.

Her words became clear in my mind. Rhiannon was the only child who could feel the plants and reach them. This is real, I tell myself. This is real, and I am not alone.

/~/~/~/

The hum of my phone cuts through the tranquil atmosphere, vibrating against the wooden table where I've left it. I reach for it, seeing Willow's name flashing on the screen. My lips twitch into a small smile as I swipe to answer the video call. The familiar tune of "Start Wearing Purple" by Gogol Bordello begins to play softly from her end, the song now deeply etched into my memory thanks to Titania's rather unique taste in music.

Willow's face appears on the screen, her expression one of pure exasperation. She's lying on her bed, her face half-buried in a pillow that she's gripping tightly. Her long black hair spills around her like ink, contrasting sharply against her pale skin and dark eyeliner. I can't help but chuckle at her over-the-top expression.

"Start wearing purple, wearing purple," I sing along, my voice light and teasing. "Start wearing purple for me now..."

Willow lets out a frustrated groan, burying her face deeper into the pillow before lifting it and yelling into it dramatically. The action is so theatrical that I burst out laughing, the sound filling the quiet garden. The stress and tension that had weighed so heavily on me just moments ago seem to dissipate in the presence of Willow's antics.

She drops the pillow with a huff, her eyes narrowed in mock indignation as she glares at the camera. "Just wait till you ride in a car with her! Nain plays her music loud and with the windows open while driving. I could have died."

I snicker, imagining Titania behind the wheel of a car, blasting Gogol Bordello at full volume, her regal demeanor completely at odds with the chaotic energy of the music. It's such a bizarre mental image that I can't help but hum the song under my breath. "Start wearing purple, wearing purple..."

"I'm serious!" Willow protests, though there's a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Where did she even find that song?" She rolls her eyes dramatically, though I can tell she's not really annoyed. There's a hint of affection in her voice, the kind that only comes from someone who has grown up around Titania's eccentricities.

I shrug, still smiling. "I have no idea, but I'm kind of glad she did. I've been humming it all day." The tune is catchy, burrowing into my mind and refusing to leave. But it's more than just the melody—it's the memory of Titania dancing around the house, her laughter echoing off the walls, her energy infectious and impossible to resist. I had shared the experience with Jake first, needing to recount the surreal moment with someone who knew me well enough to understand. Now, I'm sharing it with Willow, and it feels like we're creating our own little bond through it.

Willow leans closer to the camera, her eyes narrowing mischievously. "Have you caught her dancing to 'Telephone' yet?"

I snarf my Coke at the unexpected question, the liquid burning as it goes down the wrong pipe. I cough, sputtering as Willow bursts into peals of laughter on the other end. The sound is so genuine, so full of life, that it's impossible not to join in, even as my throat burns from the fizzy drink.

"That's just mean, Willow," I manage to gasp out between coughs, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand. But the truth is, I'm laughing too hard to care. There's something freeing about this moment, about being able to share in the ridiculousness of it all with someone who understands.

Willow shakes her head, her dark hair swinging wildly around her face. The camera wobbles as she moves, giving me a brief glimpse of the posters on her walls—bands, abstract art, and a few gothic-style prints. "It's not mean," she insists, her voice full of mock indignation. "I'm just glad that I finally have someone to share my embarrassment with. I haven't had anyone I could tell this stuff to."

Her words catch me off guard, the playful banter suddenly giving way to something more vulnerable. I pause, my laughter dying down as I consider what she's just said. There's a truth in her words, a loneliness that I hadn't noticed before. Willow is all dark clothes and heavy makeup, a persona that exudes confidence and rebellion. But underneath it, she's just a girl—like me—navigating a world that doesn't always make sense.

"I can't imagine," I say softly, the words feeling inadequate. I think about all the times I've felt isolated, cut off from the people around me by secrets and lies. But this—this shared experience of having a family that's anything but ordinary—it's something we both understand, even if our lives have been different.

"Well, Bella," Willow continues, her tone lightening again, though there's a sincerity behind her words. "Now you get to live it. Our grand—or in your case, great-grandparents—are weird. I can't imagine what my friends would think if they knew my grandmother likes to dance to Club Kid music. How mainstream." She adopts an exaggerated, snooty expression, lifting her chin and looking down her nose at the camera before breaking down into giggles.

I try not to snort more Coke up my nose at her antics, but it's a losing battle. "Willow!" I protest, but I'm laughing too hard to be taken seriously.

We giggle and make faces at each other through the screen, the connection between us growing stronger with every shared laugh. This ease I feel with her—it's new, but it feels right. She's different from anyone I've known before, yet there's something familiar in her, something that makes me feel like I can be myself without fear of judgment.

As the laughter subsides, a comfortable silence settles between us. But in that silence, my thoughts drift to Jake. I miss him, and the longing tugs at my heart, reminding me of the warmth and safety I feel whenever I'm around him. He's always been my sun, the steady presence in my life that I can rely on. Even now, as everything else changes around me, he remains my constant.

Willow must sense the shift in my mood, because she tilts her head, her expression turning curious. "Earth to Bella?" she calls, her voice teasing but gentle. She's trying to pull me back, to keep the lightness in the conversation. But the words that spill from my lips aren't the ones she—or I—expect.

"I am jealous of you." The confession comes out of nowhere, surprising both of us. Willow startles, her shoulders tensing before they relax again. She blinks at me, her face softening into a tentative smile.

"I'm jealous of you too," she admits, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. There's a vulnerability in her voice that matches my own, and it makes me feel a little less alone. "How about this—I tell you why, and then you tell me?"

I nod, curious about what she has to say. Willow takes a deep breath, her gaze dropping to the bedspread as she gathers her thoughts.

"I always wondered if you and Charlie were in her life, that Nain wouldn't have chosen to abdicate," she begins, her voice quiet but steady. "She took the manacle after Uncle Gryffud died. Carys is my grandmother, but Nain is Nain. You get to share things with her I never can because we don't share blood. I have Carys's blood in my veins."

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I hadn't considered how our shared connection to Titania might affect Willow, hadn't thought about the possibility that she might feel like an outsider in her own family. I want to say something, to comfort her, but the right words escape me.

"She loves you," I say finally, my voice firm. "I see it. You are her family."

Willow looks up at me, her eyes searching mine for sincerity. I hold her gaze, willing her to believe it, because I know it's true. Titania may be a complex, ancient being, but her love for Willow is evident in every interaction, in every word she speaks about her.

Willow nods, but there's a sadness in her eyes that doesn't quite go away. She takes a swig of her drink, using the moment to compose herself. "I know," she says, her voice a little stronger now. "I just... I spin these ideas out in my head sometimes. What if she only chose to become mortal because you weren't there? Am I just a placeholder?"

Her question hangs in the air, heavy with doubt and insecurity. I sputter angry denials in Titania's defense, but Willow holds up her hand, stopping me mid-sentence.

"Stop. I know it's useless and untrue," she says, her tone resigned. "Titania told me that she is my Nain no matter how it came to be. Wondering 'what-ifs' are useless and can make you lose sight of the now."

I nod slowly, understanding the wisdom in her words. It's easy to get lost in the 'what-ifs,' to let them consume you until you're drowning in possibilities that will never be. I've done it enough times myself to know how dangerous that line of thinking can be.

"What is it like, growing up with her?" I ask, genuinely curious. I smooth down the pillow I'm holding, the fabric soft under my fingers. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have Titania in my life from the start, to grow up with her as a constant presence.

"It was very boring in some ways," Willow says with a shrug. "Nain lives in Austin with me and my mom. She picked me up from school when Mom was working. Any sort of family event, she was there. Nain took videos of me like any grandmother. Oberon would visit every so often."

I think about Renee and me, how it was just the two of us when we moved to Phoenix. It was always just us, navigating life together, but I was the one who had to grow up faster, to take on responsibilities that should have been hers. The contrast between Willow's childhood and mine is stark, and it makes me realize just how different our lives have been, even with our shared heritage.

"No matter what the powers of the Fairy, undoing the past is not one of them," I murmur, more to myself than to Willow. There's a bittersweetness to the thought, a recognition that the past is immutable, and all we can do is move forward.

"How did you and your mom explain Titania?" I ask, curious about the logistics of having an immortal great-grandmother who looks young enough to be mistaken for a sister. "She doesn't look old enough to be a grandmother."

Willow scoffs, rolling her eyes. "It's Texas. They thought Titania was a teen mom and my mom was a teen mom."

"Ugh," I groan, scrunching my nose at the idea. Of course, the way Titania looks would make that a super gross assumption. But it's better than trying to explain the truth, I suppose.

"Yeah," Willow agrees, making a gagging face. "It helps that my dad looks so young. They think Titania gave him good genes."

"Doesn't that bother... Carys?" I ask hesitantly, unsure of how to approach the topic of Willow's grandmother. I've heard so little about her, and what I do know makes me hesitant to ask too many questions.

"Carys doesn't consider herself my grandmother," Willow says flatly, her tone guarded. "She has never seen me."

I blink, taken aback by the bluntness of her words. "Um, why?" I ask, not understanding how anyone could reject their own grandchild. From what I know, Carys is human and could pass for normal in the world, so what's the issue?

Willow's lips thin into a hard line, her expression darkening. "Carys didn't want to have a child, so a grandchild is just out of the question."

Her words hit me like a slap, the harsh reality of what she's saying sinking in. "Um, what?" I ask, struggling to comprehend. "She didn't want your dad? Why?" The question slips out before I can stop it, the incredulity clear in my voice. "There were birth control methods even then, right?"

"Yep," Willow emphasizes the "p" on the end, her tone bitter. She props her phone up on her bed and grabs her hairbrush, starting to brush her hair with brisk, angry strokes. The motion seems to calm her, though, and she eventually throws down the brush and starts weaving her hair into a braid. "You know Carys was Nain's lady-in-waiting? She was Nain's best friend."

I chew on my lower lip, feeling the tension in the conversation escalate. There's so much I don't know, so many layers to the relationships within my family that I'm only beginning to understand. I hesitate, then decide to be honest with Willow, hoping that by sharing what I know—or rather, what I don't know—we can both gain some clarity.

"I was told about Carys being Titania's lady-in-waiting, but I don't really understand what all that means," I admit, my voice softening with uncertainty. The idea of courtly roles and the complex dynamics of the Seelie and Unseelie courts is foreign to me, something out of a fairy tale rather than the reality I've found myself in. "I know she was dismissed, and that Oberon kept her as his mistress after Titania let her go. But beyond that... I'm lost."

Willow pauses in braiding her hair, her fingers stilling as she listens. There's a guarded look in her eyes, as if she's weighing how much to reveal, but then she sighs and resumes weaving her braid. "Yeah, it's complicated," she says, her voice tinged with bitterness. "Carys was... well, she was ambitious. She wanted power, and being close to Titania gave her that. But she also wanted Oberon, and that's where things got messy."

She ties off her braid, her movements rougher than necessary, as if the act of talking about Carys brings up emotions she'd rather not deal with. "When Nain found out about the affair, she dismissed Carys from her service. She couldn't keep someone around who betrayed her like that. But Oberon... he didn't care. He kept Carys as his mistress, even after Titania let her go."

I feel a knot forming in my stomach as I try to piece together the implications of what Willow is saying. The dynamics between Titania, Oberon, and Carys are far more complicated than I realized, and the fallout from their relationships is clearly still affecting Willow—and, by extension, me.

"What about Robin?" I ask, my curiosity piqued. "How does he fit into all of this?"

Willow's expression softens slightly, a flicker of warmth in her eyes as she talks about her father. "Robin was born in the Seelie court, after Carys was dismissed. Nain kept him and had her court care for him. She didn't want him to suffer because of what Carys did, and she knew Oberon would want to claim him."

"But Carys... didn't care?" I ask, trying to wrap my head around the idea of a mother being so indifferent to her own child.

Willow shakes her head, her lips pressing into a thin line. "Carys never wanted Robin. To her, he was just a consequence of her relationship with Oberon, a reminder of what she lost when she was dismissed. She didn't want to be a mother, and she made that clear to everyone, including Robin."

The anger in Willow's voice is palpable, and it stirs something in me—a deep, protective instinct that I didn't even know I had. The thought of Robin being rejected by his own mother, growing up knowing that he was unwanted, makes my chest tighten with a mix of sorrow and outrage.

"So Oberon wanted him, but Carys didn't?" I ask, trying to understand how that dynamic played out.

"Exactly," Willow says, nodding. "Oberon saw Robin as his son and he wanted to bring him into the Unseelie court. But Nain refused. She knew that Oberon's court wasn't the right place for Robin, not as a child. She protected him, kept him safe in the Seelie court where she could watch over him.  Unseelie court is the court of nightmares. She kept Daddy close until he was thirteen. She tied everything up in the judicial courts."

I take a deep breath, trying to absorb everything Willow is telling me. The more I learn, the more I realize just how complicated my family's history is, and how many secrets have been kept from me. But there's one thing that stands out, something that makes me feel a deep sense of gratitude toward Titania.

"She really took care of him," I say, my voice soft with admiration. "Even though he wasn't her son, she made sure he was safe."

Willow nods, her expression softening as she talks about Titania. "Nain loves Robin. She always has. She saw him as her own, even if he wasn't by blood. That's why she's always been so protective of him. And that's why Carys was never really part of our lives."

There's a sadness in Willow's voice that I hadn't noticed before, a lingering pain that comes from being caught in the middle of a family that's been fractured by betrayal and abandonment. I want to comfort her, to tell her that she's not alone, but I'm not sure how. My own feelings are still a tangled mess, and I'm only just beginning to make sense of them.

"I'm sorry, Willow," I say finally, my voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this."

Willow looks up at me, her eyes wide with surprise. "You don't have to apologize, Bella," she says, her tone softening. "It's not your fault. None of this is."

"I know, but... I just wish things were different," I admit, feeling the weight of my words. "I wish our family wasn't so... complicated."

Willow lets out a small, bitter laugh. "Yeah, me too. But we can't change the past. We can only deal with what we have now."

Her words hit home, resonating with the lesson that Titania has been trying to teach me all along. The past is unchangeable, but the present is ours to shape. And in that moment, I realize that Willow and I are more alike than I ever imagined. We're both trying to navigate a world that's been shaped by the choices of those who came before us, and we're both struggling to find our place in it.

"Maybe... maybe we can figure it out together," I suggest, my voice tentative but hopeful.

Willow smiles, a real, genuine smile that lights up her face. "Yeah, maybe we can," she agrees, her tone matching mine. There's a warmth in her voice now, a sense of camaraderie that makes me feel a little less lost.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

The small clearing was bathed in the soft, dappled light of the early morning sun. The trees around us swayed gently in the breeze, their leaves whispering secrets only the forest could understand. Titania sat on a moss-covered log, her vibrant red hair catching the light like a flame, while Willow, with her earthy, grounded presence, leaned against the trunk of a tall oak. I sat cross-legged on the soft grass, my eyes downcast, fingers nervously tracing patterns on the ground. The silence between us was thick, almost palpable, as though the weight of my thoughts had seeped into the very air around us.

Titania’s vivid green eyes bore into me, full of concern and curiosity, but she remained patient. Finally, she spoke, her voice gentle yet probing. “You’ve been quiet, my Dear One. There’s something on your mind.”

I looked up, meeting her gaze briefly before my eyes flitted away again. I could feel the pressure building in my chest, the knot of emotions that I’d been trying to untangle for what felt like forever. “It’s… It’s nothing, really,” I mumbled. “Just a lot to think about.” The words felt inadequate, a poor summary of the turmoil inside me.

Willow shifted slightly, her presence a comfort even from across the clearing. “Sometimes, talking about what’s weighing on us can help,” she said softly. “We’re here for you, Bella.” Her voice was like a balm, soothing some of the raw edges of my anxiety, but it wasn’t enough to quell the storm.

I let out a small sigh, the sound barely audible, but it felt like a crack in the dam holding back my emotions. My fingers stopped tracing the meaningless patterns in the grass, and I took a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to voice what had been tearing at me for so long. “It’s Jake,” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking his name too loudly might shatter me.

Titania and Willow exchanged a glance, their expressions softening with understanding. They had been waiting for this, I realized, waiting for me to say the name that had lingered in the air between us like a ghost. “Jake,” Titania repeated, her tone gentle, inviting me to continue, to let it out.

I nodded, my throat tightening as I tried to find the right words, words that seemed so elusive despite the constant churn of thoughts in my mind. “I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. About everything that’s happened between us.” The memories were a jumble, each one tinged with a mix of pain, regret, and love that I couldn’t shake, no matter how much I tried.

Willow moved closer, settling beside me on the grass. Her presence was grounding, a reminder that I wasn’t alone, even though I felt isolated in my guilt. “He’s important to you,” she said, not as a question but as a statement of fact. Her words were like a lifeline, pulling me out of the depths of my self-recrimination, if only for a moment.

“Yes,” I replied, my voice trembling slightly. “He was always there for me, you know? When everything else was falling apart, he was my anchor. But… I hurt him. I hurt him so much.” The admission felt like a punch to the gut, the weight of my actions pressing down on me with renewed force. I could see his face in my mind, the pain I had caused etched into his features, and it tore me apart all over again.

Titania’s expression softened even more as she reached out, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. Her touch was warm, and it grounded me in a way I hadn’t expected. “Love can be complicated, my dear. It’s full of moments that challenge us, that test our strength and our hearts.” Her words were spoken with the wisdom of someone who had seen and experienced love in a way that I could not imagine.

But I couldn’t shake the overwhelming guilt, the sense that I had irreparably damaged something precious. My eyes welled with tears, and when I spoke, my voice broke under the weight of my emotions. “I made choices that pushed him away, which I thought were right at the time, but now… Now I don’t know.”

The tears began to fall, hot and unchecked, each one a reminder of the pain I had caused not only Jake but everyone who had stood by me. Willow placed a reassuring hand on my knee, her touch gentle and grounding. “You did what you thought was best, Bella. It’s easy to look back and see things differently, but you made those choices with the knowledge and emotions you had at that moment.”

Her words were meant to comfort, to remind me that I wasn’t a monster, but they did little to ease the ache in my chest.

“I want to talk to him,” I whispered, barely able to get the words out. “Explain everything. But I’m so scared that he’ll never forgive me, that I’ve lost him forever.” The thought of losing Jake, of never being able to make things right.

Titania’s eyes flashed with a mix of determination and compassion. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that love, real love, is resilient. It bends, it sometimes breaks, but it can also heal. You might be surprised at what Jake can forgive, at how strong the bond between you two truly is.” Her voice was firm, filled with the certainty that I couldn’t muster for myself.

Willow nodded in agreement, her voice as soothing as a breeze through the trees. “You should speak to him, Bella. Speak your truth, even if it’s hard. He deserves to hear it, and you deserve the chance to heal, whether that’s together or apart.”

There was no judgment in her tone, only understanding and encouragement. I took a shaky breath, feeling the warmth of their support wrapping around me like a protective cocoon.

“You’re right,” I said softly. “I need to talk to him. I need to at least try.”

The words felt like a promise to myself, a first step toward something that might lead to healing, even if it was a small, tentative one. Titania smiled, her eyes glowing with pride. “Whatever happens, we’ll be here for you, Bella. You’re not alone in this.”

The unwavering support was like a balm to my frayed nerves.  Willow’s smile was kind. “Take it one step at a time, Bella. You can’t reprogram your brain instantly.”

Her words were a reminder that healing, forgiveness, and understanding were processes, not instant fixes.I nodded, a sense of resolve settling over me. For the first time in a long while, I felt a glimmer of hope, the faint but steady light guiding me back to where I belonged, no matter what that path might look like.

But that glimmer of hope was quickly overshadowed by the gnawing doubt that had haunted me since I fled. I had argued so passionately for the Cullens, lied to my parents, and watched as the entire wolf pack defended me against the newborns. Yet, what had I given in return?

I had betrayed Jake, the one person who had never faltered in his love for me, the one who had always been there, protecting me, even when it meant putting himself in danger. And my parents—Charlie and Renee—what must they think of me now? I had fought so hard to keep them in the dark, to protect them from the world I had willingly stepped into. But at what cost?

“I don’t deserve any of this,” I whispered, my voice cracking under the weight of my guilt. “Not the love, not the friendship, none of it.”

The words felt like a confession, an acknowledgment of my deepest fear: that I was unworthy of the re and support I had been given.

Titania’s face softened with understanding, but her voice held a gentle firmness. “Bella, we all make choices that we regret. But those choices don’t define who you are. What matters is what you do now, how you move forward.”

Her words were like a beacon in the dark, urging me to look ahead rather than dwell on my past mistakes.

“But I lied,” I said, my voice trembling. “I lied to everyone. I put them all in danger because I was convinced I was doing the right thing. And now… now I’m not even sure what’s right anymore.” The uncertainty gnawed at me, the fear that I had lost my moral compass and that my actions had only led to more harm.

Willow’s hand warm against my arm. “You were trying to protect the people you love. That’s not something to be ashamed of. But you also have to let others in. Let them help you carry the burden. It’s not yours to bear alone.”

I shook my head, tears blurring my vision. “But I can’t take it back. I can’t undo the lies, the pain I’ve caused. How can anyone forgive me for that?” The question hung in the air, a plea for understanding, for some kind of absolution that I wasn’t sure I deserved.

Titania leaned forward, her gaze intense and unwavering. “You start by forgiving yourself, Bella. You made mistakes, yes, but you also did what you thought was best then. You must forgive yourself before you can even begin to seek forgiveness from others.” Her words were spoken with authority.

I thought of Charlie and Robin, waiting to see what would happen when they dropped off the rings. Were they in danger from the pack? Were they in danger from the Volturi?

Titania seemed to sense the direction of my thoughts. “They’re doing this because they care about you, Bella. That’s what friendship is. That’s what love is.” Her words were a gentle reminder that love wasn’t about transactions or debts, but about the deep, selfless care we offer to those we hold dear.

I looked up at Titania, my eyes filled with doubt. “But do I deserve it?” The question felt like a confession, a raw acknowledgment of the self-loathing that had taken root in my heart.

Willow’s voice was soft but steady. “Deserve doesn’t have anything to do with it, Bella. Love isn’t about deserving. It’s about accepting it when it’s given and giving it in return.”

The sky was lighter now, the dawn breaking fully, and with it, a sense of clarity began to dawn in my heart. I might not feel like I deserved their love or friendship, but I couldn’t deny that it was there, surrounding me, holding me up when I felt like I couldn’t stand on my own. Maybe, just maybe, that was enough. And maybe it was a place to start.

I tried to muster a smile, though it was tinged with sadness. " It feels like all I can do is imagine what the pack might think, and it’s not like I can look them up or something.," I admitted. " I'm not even on social media much Besides, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like what I’d see.”

Willow raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in her eyes. “Social media, huh? From what I see, you’re barely on it anyway. It isn’t as if they would put out on their tribal Facebook, come see our hunky wolf protectors.  How am I supposed to check out the hot wolf guys if you’ve got nothing for me to look at?” Her tone was light and playful, a deliberate attempt to pull me out of the spiral of guilt and doubt.

I couldn’t help but chuckle despite myself. “Guess you’ll just have to see for yourself then, Willow. You could come with me next time I visit the reservation.” The words were spoken half in jest, but there was a part of me that longed for the comfort of having someone by my side when I faced the pack again.

Willow tilted her head, her expression thoughtful. “Huh,” she said slowly, as if considering the idea. Then, with a sudden burst of energy, she grabbed the iPad resting beside her and clicked her heels together. “I could do that.”

In an instant, her torn tights with tutu and Jack Skellington t-shirt were replaced with a stunning blue and black velvet dress adorned with moons and stars that shimmered in the early morning light. The fabric clung to her form, the celestial patterns almost seeming to move as if alive. She looked down at herself, grinning. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

Before I could respond, Willow took off, clutching the iPad in one hand as she dashed into the trees, her dress trailing behind her like a comet streaking across the sky. I blinked, my mouth hanging open for a moment before I started laughing. “What just happened?”

Titania smiled knowingly, completely unbothered by Willow’s sudden departure. “Willow has her ways. She’s full of surprises, that one. Besides,” she added with a wink, “she can make it impossible for herself to see when she wants to. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

My eyes widened slightly. “You mean she can just disappear?”

Titania nodded, her voice calm. “She’s wearing the Boots of Leviathan Steps. She’ll be there and back in forty minutes or less, and no one will even know she was there.”

I shook my head, still chuckling. “I can’t believe she just did that. She’s really going to check out the pack, isn’t she?”

Titania nodded, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Indeed, she is. She’s likely going to try to take photos without being seen. But don’t worry, Bella. Robin is still there with your father.”

I couldn’t help but start to laugh.