Archive of Our Own ^beta

Ray felt his soulmate before he was even aware of the concept. Well, he felt his soulmate’s pain before he understood the concept. The pain would often come out of nowhere with no warning. While he was playing with his toys, being fed, walking to school, lying in bed, the instances were endless. There was one particularly memorable occurrence that had him confined to the nurses office while his parents rushed to the school.

After the first few incidents his parents had had to explain to a then still young boy the concept of soulmates. There was one person out there that the universe had created just for you and you for them. You would complement each other, in ways that sometimes would be incomprehensible to outsiders but would make sense to you. The only downside to this connection was that you would feel whatever pain your soulmate was going through. A young Ray considered this and decided right there that he would do whatever he could to avoid suffering pain.

Ray was a smart kid. It didn’t take him long to figure out that his soulmate was frequently finding themselves in dangerous situations. He learned to recognize the different injuries and could make educated guesses as to what kind of fight they were in and how many people they were up against. Ray kept the promise that he made to himself and, aside from the odd skinned knee as a kid, made sure his soulmate never felt any pain.

He put his brain to use and flew through college, becoming the CEO of his own company Palmer Technologies at an unprecedented age. He was thirty-three years of age and smiling as he presented to his shareholders when he collapsed in the boardroom. He was barely aware he was screaming, let alone paying attention to the panic of the people in the room. He had never felt such pain, he felt like he was burning alive and thankfully passed out before it reached its peak. When he came to he was lying on the couch in his office with a paramedic taking his vitals. The medic asked him if he knew what had happened. Ray said he knew it was his soulmate and not him that was the source of the pain. He was shot a sympathetic look and, once he was sure Ray really was okay, the paramedic packed up and left. Ray winced as he sat up and wondered just what his soulmate had gotten themselves into now.

Ray went through life without making many romantic connections. He couldn’t see what the point was really when he believed that he would some day meet his other half. He eventually found himself in Star City and found a new passion. He worked on his suit secretly until Felicity Smoak stumbled upon him one day. He liked Felicity, in another life he might have considered pursuing her romantically but as it was he instead tried to convince her to join his cause. Everything was going just fine, he was making a difference as the Atom, and then he found himself waking up on a rooftop and being talked into becoming a time traveler. If he was honest he really didn’t take much convincing because, well, time travel. He only wished he were in better company.

Most of the crew were fine but did they really need to involve hardcore criminals? He didn’t trust them but he had to admit that at least one of them was easy on the eyes. Although he wasn’t sure Mick Rory had any facial expressions that weren’t a variation of a glare. He had very little time to consider anything though as they found themselves falling into one battle after another. And over time he had to admit that the former criminals were growing on him. Snart was a genius with a moral code he tried to deny and Mick’s loyalty to the former was admirable. He sometimes wondered if they were soulmates but for some reason that didn’t sit well with him. It didn’t take him long to realize why.

They were in fight number nine thousand and seven, approximately, when he noticed. He had just incapacitated his opponent when he looked up in time to see Mick get slugged in the gut and felt it in his own. He watched Mick throw a punch and felt the inevitable bruising across his knuckles. Sara shouted at him to get a move on and Ray shook himself and got back into the fight. When they piled back onto the Waverider afterward Ray took off the suit and hurried to his quarters shaking his head with a smile at the offer of a drink claiming he was too tired. He all but ran to his room and made sure the door was closed behind him before taking a steadying breath.

“Gideon? Could you check the timeline and see if anything big injury wise happened to Mick Rory in 2014?”

“Of course. Mick Rory was involved in a heist with Leonard Snart in 2014 that resulted in him suffering severe burns to his body, specifically his arms.”

“Thank you Gideon.”

The AI was silent as Ray dropped onto his bed. He stared blankly ahead as he replayed the moment he collapsed in the boardroom and recalled the echoes of pain that consumed his arms for days afterward.

Mick Rory was his soulmate.

He laughed humorlessly. Mick couldn’t stand him and had made his stance on soulmates known. They had all been talking about the phenomena one day when he pronounced it to be ‘complete bullshit’ and wandered out of the kitchen with a beer. Ray was smart enough to know that the person he had spent his whole life waiting for would never want him. He buried his head in his hands.

Fuck.

Mick Rory had learned from an early age not to care about anything, it just got taken away in the end anyway so what was the point. People were just as bad and he grew into adulthood with only two people he gave a shit about. At least he knew Len and Lisa felt the same. Whenever soulmates came up in conversation he let everyone know his thoughts on it. That soulmate crap was bullshit, people just believed whatever they wanted to believe to make themselves feel better. Two people in the universe made for each other? Fuck that. Len would just roll his eyes and Lisa would pout, both having given up talking to him about the subject a long time ago. But what no one knew was that Mick knew the system was broken, that the universe didn’t give a shit about everyone.

Because Mick Rory didn’t have a soulmate.

When he was a kid he told himself he never felt pain because his soulmate wasn’t born yet. And hell, he could work with an age difference as long as it wasn’t too ridiculous. He never told anyone, more ashamed of the fact that he was still holding out hope than of a possible gap in age. He was twenty-five when he locked up his heart and flipped the universe the bird. Fuck the universe. He knew that Len hadn’t met his soulmate either, neither had Lisa, so maybe people like them were just too fucked up to deserve love.

Mick was forty-two and burning alive the only time he thanked the universe for not giving him a soulmate and meant it.

A few years later he watched Len meet the eyes of The Flash and Lisa smile a secret smile at a doctor.

Fuck the universe.

In the moments he was alone in the dark Mick wondered what was so broken in him that no one could love him. But then morning would come, the thought got locked away, and Mick continued to not give a shit. They pulled heists, created chaos and generally enjoyed themselves. Then he found himself coming to on a rooftop with some British dude spouting crap about time travel. He was ready to sneer in the guys face and fuck off but Len bought what he was selling and it’d be a cold day in hell before he let his partner go off without back up. Mick honestly wondered how the fuck he got himself into these situations. What was worse was that he was now surrounded by do-gooders. Haircut was the worst, the genius making it clear that he didn’t think they should be there. The pretty ones were always the worst.

However between the fuck knows how many fights he saw grudging respect appear on the other guys face when they fought. Whatever, like he cared. And if Mick occasionally liked Haircut’s smile he snarled and drank until it disappeared. Because Haircut was one of those. The kind of person that lit up when he talked about the soulmate he still hadn’t met but couldn’t wait to.

Fuck the universe.

He was trapped in the kitchen with him at one point and the subject of soulmates came up. Mick let him know in no uncertain terms that the whole concept was for the kind of people who believed in fairy tales and Mick didn’t fucking need one. Haircut looked at him liked he’d just stabbed him in the heart. Mick shrugged and left the kitchen. Whatever. Except that he couldn’t help noticing that the other man started avoiding him after that, like Mick had offended his delicate sensibilities. Mick rolled his eyes and told himself he didn’t care.

And then came the gulag.

Haircut was doing his do-gooder thing but Mick had found a lighter so he didn’t give a shit. He was still staring at the flame when he heard the grunts of pain behind him. He could practically feel the beating Haircut was getting. It took him another couple of seconds to realize that he wasn’t imagining it. He was actually feeling the blows. He stared blankly at the flame.

What the fuck.

The guards came and broke up the fight and he and Haircut ended up back in their cell. Mick forced himself to ignore the man on the bed and tried to focus on the flame, but for the first time it didn’t work. He tried to tell himself he was imagining things, that what he thought was happening couldn’t be happening. He listened to Haircut’s reasoning for standing up for someone that didn’t deserve it and offered short responses. Silence eventually filled the cell and Mick went back to his flame letting everything else clear out of his head to be dealt with later.

Later came with them strung up and Haircut taking a beating for him. And Mick could no longer deny what he was feeling. But then all hell broke loose and Len was breaking him out. He didn’t even pause to think before slinging the barely conscious man over his shoulder. Len tried to reason with him, telling him that ‘Raymond’ would only slow them down. Mick looked him dead in the eye.

“Would you leave the Flash behind?”

He saw understanding flood his usually stoic partners face before it was shut down and he could see Len mentally rethinking his plan. By the time they’re back on the ship Mick has no idea how they managed it and Haircut is taken away to the medbay. Once they’ve made the jump Mick stalks off to his quarters and Len has the good sense to leave him be. He’s sitting with a beer and stewing in his thoughts when he hears a tapping. He looks up to see a less bruised and rueful looking Ray in the doorway.

“Can I come in?”

Mick nods and Ray walks inside, looking around the room in open curiosity before leaning against the wall. They stay in silence for a moment before Mick asks gruffly:

“How long’ve you known?”

Because he knew with absolute certainty that this wasn’t news to the other man. Ray looked sheepish.

“Uh, a while now.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you say something Haircut?”

The other man shot him a look of disbelief.

“Maybe because soulmates are, and I quote, ‘fucking bullshit’? You clearly didn’t want me so I let it go.”

Mick leaned forward with a frown and dropped his elbows onto his knees.

“The fuck you talking about?”

Now he was treated to confusion.

“You’re not an idiot Mick, you obviously knew I was your soulmate and made it clear to me you had no interest.”

Mick took a swig of his beer before putting it on the ground.

“How did you know it was me?”

Ray bit his lip and Mick tried not to be distracted.

“I noticed during a fight but to make sure I asked Gideon if you suffered any serious injuries in 2014.”

Mick frowned and Ray awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

“Your arms? The burns?”

Mick looked at the arms he always kept covered and realized what that meant.

“Fuck Haircut.”

He winced.

“Yeah that wasn’t fun. Did you even do anything about the burns? They hurt for ages after.”

Mick scrubbed a hand over his face and tried not to feel guilty. It wasn’t an emotion he was used to.

“Sorry.”

Ray rushed to reassure him.

“No, no, I was worried about you, it barely even bothered me!”

“You’re a shitty liar Haircut.”

“Yeah I’ve been told that before.”

Mick watched him with narrowed eyes.

“Why did you think I knew you were my soulmate?”

Ray looked at him in confusion.

“Wait. You didn’t? But what about all the times I’ve been injured in fights? Surely you noticed then?”

“I’m used to beatings, I barely notice them anymore.”

Ray blinked.

“Oh.”

“You never got in a fight before you got on board?”

Ray brightened.

“Never. I could feel your pain all the time so I decided when I was a kid that I’d never cause you pain and I stuck to it! Well… until I joined the crew anyway.”

Mick stood up and crossed his arms with a drawl.

“You’re a genius Haircut so tell me, if you never once your whole life felt another persons pain what would you think?”

Ray frowned as he considered this.

“Logistically I’d probably think I didn’t have a soulmate.”

Mick let the silence stretch until he saw realization dawn on Ray’s face.

“Mick did you think…?”

Mick raised an eyebrow and Ray looked horrified.

“I never thought- I thought I was doing the right thing. I never thought you’d think- I’m so sorry Mick.”

Ray looked devastated and Mick wasn’t that much of a bastard so he just shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter Haircut.”

Ray grabbed his shoulders.

“But it does! I’m not an idiot it should have occurred to me that-”

Mick could see this going on for awhile so he did the first thing that came into his head and kissed Ray. The other man froze and Mick started to pull back when arms wrapped around him and pulled him back. They stumbled until Ray’s back was to the wall and Mick was pressed against him. He felt Ray’s tongue swipe against his lip and welcomed him into his mouth. Their hands, lips and tongues mapped out a world they never thought they’d have. Mick growled as he grabbed Ray’s hips and pressed them together. Ray moaned needily as Mick mouthed down his neck.

A throat cleared.

Mick looked up in annoyance to see a bemused Sara standing in the doorway.

“I was just coming to see if you wanted a drink but you’re obviously otherwise occupied.”

“Then why the fuck are you still here?”

Sara grinned and walked away. Mick sighed in frustration and turned his head to look at a very obviously mortified Ray. Mick rolled his eyes.

“In about five minutes the entire ship is going to be gossiping about this like a bunch of fucking old ladies.”

“Which means they’ll be too busy to bother us right?”

Mick raised his eyebrows at the cheeky grin on Ray’s face.

“Gideon would you close the door please?”

The door slid closed and Mick kept an eyebrow raised. Ray smiled.

“I’ve waited my whole life for you Mick, I’m not letting go of you now.”

Mick did the only sensible thing he could and swallowed Ray’s smile. He sent one more message to the universe.

About fucking time.