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“We have confirmed that an asteroid is heading for Arcadia. Impact is likely within the next twenty minutes. Experts suggest seeking shelter.”
Zoe touched the glass of the storefront window as Councilwoman Nunez finished her speech.
Shelter wasn’t going to do much against a massive, flaming hunk of rock. She thought. If that thing hit, or rather, when it hit... this town— heck, the entire eastern seaboard— was as good as leveled.
The green blast that shot over the town earlier must have been an attempt to destroy it. An attempt that apparently hadn't worked.
Behind her, some man was on the phone professing his love to some woman as two kids took off in a panic down the road. Zoe turned, placing the back of her head against the glass, looking up at the sky and the two distant dots of their imminent demise, but still she couldn’t help but chuckle to herself.
Wizards were a pretty durable bunch. They weren't invincible, but they had certain resistances and immunities that kept them going much longer than that of the regular mortals.
Call it a hunch, but she figured a massive flaming rock crashing into the town at impact velocity was probably not one of those special resistances.
Nine-hundred and twenty-three years on this Earth, two plagues, the Salem witch trials, the magical purge of Camelot, and centuries worth of close calls, freak disasters, and deadly odds... but a random rock from outer space was going to be the thing to finally finish her off.
“Typical.”
Still though, even while staring death in the face, and past all the impending doom, one thought crossed her mind.
Hisirdoux. One of the only people she’d known so well for so long. He and Archie had been a constant in her life ever since she'd met them. No matter where life took them, the three always managed to cross paths again eventually, and lately those paths had been a near constant for the last couple of decades.
What was going through his mind, she wondered, and why did she have a bad feeling he was about to run off and do something crazy in one of his half-baked attempts to fix the world?
*MEOW!*
She looked down with a sudden blink as the black cat brushed across her leg and motioned twice with his head into the narrow alley next to Stuart Electronics.
“Archie!” Her eyes widened, but her voice sounded happy to see him despite the initial shock. She followed him quickly into the shadows and crouched to his level as he stood on her knees with his two front paws and put on his glasses. “Arch, what are you doing here? You should be with Douxie.”
“I was, but I need your help.”
“What is it?”
“Douxie is trying to stop the asteroid. He’s on the roof of the bookstore, dead-set on doing this on his own. I fear he's in over his head and is ignoring the dangers.”
“What?” She wrinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes trying to imagine what he was thinking, but coming up empty. She knew he would go and pull some last ditch heroics, but facing it head on from the rooftops was one of the worst ideas she’d ever heard.
She checked her phone and set the timer for fifteen minutes before getting one last look up at the sky and huffing out a scowl.
“That idiot is going to turn himself into a niffin or get himself killed five minutes too early!" She stood and motioned for him to follow. "Come on Arch, we’ve got just enough time to find him and beat some sense into him one last time before we’re all dust. Let’s move!”
“Right behind you!”
They took off towards the store, sneaking up the back alley fire escapes to cut down on the time it would take to get to the rooftops by breaking into the (most likely locked and warded) book store.
With one final lunge she was up over the ledge of the building and Archie was already flying into the air as the gold plume of smoke faded from his transformation.
She wafted it away with a cough but watched as Archie landed at Douxie’s side, the wizard himself, expectantly leaning up against the ledge railing across from them as Zoe appeared over the ladder.
There was no sign of magic, no scene of Douxie over-exerting his power trying to save the day. In fact, he wasn’t even looking at the asteroid, he was looking right at her, and when he saw her processing it all, all he could do was chuckle to himself and smile.
Zoe looked along the nearly empty rooftop with confused eyes. There were two fold-out beach chairs, a small turned-over, wooden crate between them with a white cloth napkin covering the top. Two soda cans, both name brand colas, one vanilla and one cherry were waiting on top next to an opened can of roasted salmon, and there was soft rock playing from his phone propped up against the inside of the box, letting the sound echo out like a makeshift speaker.
“What is—?” She made a face, pointing at everything before her fingers gravitated towards the two of them. “You’re not really trying to stop that asteroid. And, you didn’t actually come to get me for that, you just—”
“Said what I thought would get you here the fastest? Guilty.” Archie smirked, his voice smug as he tapped at his wrist. “Though you made great time!”
"Hisirdoux?"
“We saw that first blast and immediately started thinking up ideas of our own." Douxie said, his voice and posture low, but calm as he stepped forward and motioned gently towards the chairs. “I thought I could put up wards around Arcadia, but realized it probably wouldn’t amount to much against something that massive. Then I thought about using a levitation spell, or a teleportation spell, a repulsion ward, a disintegrating blast, a shrinking potion— basically I thought of it all, more or less in that order. I came to my senses rather quickly and thought then about Merlin’s timemap, and Camelot, the heart of Avalon… realized there was no way to get there in time without a shadow portal. So then I thought, "what would Merlin do?" Merlin’s notes never told me about this happening, and I am not strong enough to fix this on my own, so something must happen to keep this thing today from killing everyone, right?”
He grabbed for one of the sodas and popped the tab with a loud fizzling click.
“And then I thought about you. Thought "what would Zoe do?" And you know what? I’ve spent a millennium trying to fix everything, to save everyone. And here in the last—” He checked his watch. “Ten or so minutes we might potentially have left. Why not enjoy myself for once in my life, in the company of my two oldest friends, and for once… just once… not worry about anything else other than what I want to worry about.” He tilted the can towards them. “You and Archie.”
He tossed her the unopened cherry soda and she caught it with a look to follow after, one brow lifted as she tilted her chin back, expecting a trap or a “but” to follow afterwards, though none ever came.
He was actually serious.
“Are you in some sort of state of inner peace, or denial? I’m almost afraid to find out.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but Archie cut him off.
“Probably a little of both?” He grabbed the can and took a seat at the end of the chair where he began to pick the fish out one chunk at a time with his claws. “I for one have never seen him so certain about something in nearly nine-hundred years.”
Zoe glanced up at the sky, the approaching flame balls growing larger, and she heard the sounds of screams and panic coming from down below. She ran the scenarios through her mind a hundred times and in a hundred different ways, but all of her ideas came up just as empty as Douxie’s. There really wasn't anything they could do, was there?
Resolute, and with a small smile starting to peek at the corners of her lips, she flicked the tab off of her soda and took a seat next to them, as Douxie turned the music on his phone up to drown out the noise below.
“I came up here thinking you were about to kill yourself trying to save everyone, but this is surprising to see you—”
“Give up?” He sighed, and took a sip. “It’s not that. Trust me, I am freaking out, Zoe, but what can I do? It’s a bloody asteroid! I don’t even have a staff! This isn’t like some superhero movie where an answer just conveniently falls on my lap. I’ve got nothing. Why not just accept my fate, whatever it may be, and not stress about something for once?”
“I’m happy for you.” She smirked, her head shooting a little ways off to the side as a brow lifted and she held out her can to him. “Sucks you finally get inner peace right before we all probably die, but still… you know… I like this chill, carefree Hisirdoux. I wish I could’ve seen him more often.”
He met the can with his own and the two let out a soft clink of tin and even softer chuckles.
“Ah, but it was a pretty good run while it lasted, right? Nine-hundred years, a lot of stories. Lot of good times the three of us have had.”
“And somehow they still hold up after all these years, just as vivid as when they happened,” Archie agreed.
They were quiet for a moment, sipping their sodas as Arcadia grew still.
“You’re sure this is going to work itself out without you?”
He chuckled morosely.
“If not, I guess we’ll never know. I just know I’m not meant to be the hero of this story.”
She moved into his chair and curled her arms into his jacket as he held her close. Archie cuddled up beside them as Zoe felt both of her boys breathing, Archie against her lap and Douxie against her ear. His heartbeat was calm all things considered, but she could tell in his breath that he was getting nervous. She buried her head deeper into his chest and squeezed him a little tighter.
“Well for what it’s worth, you’ve always been my hero.”
He smiled and held her closer, his other hand rubbing at Archie’s fur as the two shared a look.
They all waited there for a few long, quiet moments before—
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!
The grating tones of Zoe’s cellphone alarm started bleating from her pocket, causing all three to jump a mile out of their own skins as she dug around and hit it off with her thumb.
“Oops! forgot I set that.” she ground out, annoyed by the interruption. “That would be the doomsday countdown for how long Archie and I had to find you.”
“Lovely.” He grinned awkwardly. “And I take it we’ve reached the end of the final countdown?”
“Give or take a few extra minutes.”
“It was somehow less unnerving when we had no idea how long was left.” He chuckled dryly. “But now…”
Archie perched at the edge of the seat and looked to the sky. The meteors had grown almost double in size since they last looked up. The dragon adjusted his glasses as they reflected the flaming glow from above.
“But now we get to see how this plays out firsthand.”
A massive shadow blocked out the sky as the panic below grew into a frenzy.
“Here we go.”
Zoe grabbed his hand and they held firm, Douxie’s other hand coming up to Archie as they sat there in silence and simply watched.
“Come on, Merlin…” He muttered under his breath, hoping for what might be the last time that his master hadn’t led him into a false sense of security.
Just then, two bright green blasts of energy barreled across the town overhead, breaking the atmosphere and clashing into the meteor fragments in two massive balls of fire. Douxie actually did a double take backwards just to be sure his old master hadn’t appeared from out of the blue.
Surely it was just a coincidence. Surely!? Yet, there was something so strangely familiar and comforting in those green colored bursts. Whether or not he had any involvement, one thing was certain, and it was that Merlin’s prophecies had not led them to their deaths.
“Never doubted him for a second,” Hisirdoux laughed aloud, his forehead coated in a nervous sweat.
Zoe shoved him with her elbow.
“Oh please, like that old toolbag needs anymore false credit. That was all those weirdo kids from the record store. They might not know what money is, but they do good work with extraterrestrial laser beams.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Maybe then the next time we run into them, we be a bit more patient with the oddities? It’s not like you or I haven’t been in that position before.”
“Oh, ha ha.” She punched him once in the arm. “Well whatever. The world’s not ending anymore, so I guess we'd better get ready for work then.”
“Work?”
“Yeah… shifts start soon. You know people are going to want stuff now that they’ve outrun death for the tenth time this week. Makes people really spendy with their money.”
“Maybe Arcadia could just take an evening off given the circumstances?” Archie suggested.
All three of them laughed at the simple notion of that being true as the tired wizard groaned to a stand.
“Ah, I guess it can’t be helped then. Come on, we live another day to work another evening at the cafe.”
“At least tips are usually pretty generous after one of the near-death events.”
“Right, so I guess burgers later will be my treat, yeah?”
“I won’t argue with that logic.”
“Is it petty of me to kind of wish we had been hit by the asteroid? You know, just for the time off?”
“Oh we’ve all had that thought, but—” She gave his back two hard pats. “Customer service awaits.”
"I suppose you're right."
They packed up their things as cheers rang out from the streets below. Arcadia lives to see another day, and yet it was almost comical now how many times this year alone that they'd felt this same kind of relief.
Douxie gave it two, maybe three more close calls before everyone in town was completely desensitized to danger altogether.
He chuckled.
"See you both after work then?"
"I'll hold down the store here while you're gone. Do try not to overwork yourself tonight."
"And just don't be late." Zoe grinned. "Who knows when the next calamity will strike?" She knocked on the top of the wooden crate for luck. "Best not to tempt the fates, right?"
He smiled and shook his head at that. The fates did love testing the resolve of Arcadia, that was for sure.
"Right. Alright! I'll see you both then."