Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Fragile

frag-ile adjective; easily broken or damaged, not secure, physically weak

frag-ile synonyms; tenuous, slight

Prologue:
Love Is Stronger Than Death

44 ABY
Eclipse Station, Deep Core

Tahiri Veila gazed about the room taking stock of all she saw, a small smile curving her lips. Never would she have imagined that her own impending demise would bring her so close to bliss.

She’d spent two days sealing the room; liquid silicone adherent now lined every wall seam, the outline of the doors to the hall and fresher, and the window. Ten canisters of compressed air, all linked together, were hooked up to the portable air-scrubber in the corner, and gauges resting on the desk monitored the oxygen and carbon monoxide levels. As far as she could tell, no air was leaking out and only good air was in. Anakin’s room was as close to hermetically sealed as she could make it. As long as she accomplished her goal before the last of the canisters was empty or the batteries on the air-scrubber wore out, she’d be ok.

Ok being a relative term of course.

A light covering of dust was still visible on many of the surfaces around her, except where it had been displaced due to her preparations and tests. So far, all had gone as she had hoped it would. As she had known it would. The only thing left to do was begin the journey that would change destiny.

When she’d first entered Anakin’s room the few possessions he hadn’t loaded into the Falcon’s storage holds had been right where he himself had left them. During each of her Flow Walking trips she’d rearranged those items, making mental notes of where she’d placed them, anxiously returning to the present to see if the datapads, water bottles, and machine parts remained where she had moved them to. Each time they had.

Jacen Solo could go kriff himself… and his pebbles… on whatever plane he currently existed.

Now, confident that she was ready to undertake the task that had brought her here after so many years, she gave into the memories that had been calling to her since she had landed; allowed the images fighting to come to the forefront of her mind to present themselves, and let the waves of agony that were part and parcel to these mental journeys wash over her.

In her mind's eye she could see herself with Anakin, holed up in this very room, wrapped in his arms as they planned and dreamed of what their life would be like after the war. She saw herself sitting next to a food prep unit, Anakin’s legs sticking out from under the machine, handing him tools before he had a chance to ask for them. She saw them in the work out room dueling, Anakin teaching her everything he could think of, because he wanted her to be able to defend herself, in any situation, against any threat. Then she remembered the sick feeling she got while standing in the great meeting room, listening in horror as the center of her universe explained in sketchy detail his idea for how he could deal with the Voxyn threat. It was amazing that the sixteen years that had passed between then and now had done nothing to diminish the joy and sorrow that these memories evoked. It was as if any one of these events could have happened yesterday.

As far as Tahiri knew, and if the condition of this place was anything to go by, no one had been to Eclipse since the Jedi fled to the Maw shortly after the fall of Coruscant. She’d expected this, and was not surprised to find that there was no food or water, and that the air-filtration system was completely shot. She had felt a slight pang of regret at discovering this last bit, but only because she so clearly remembered the hours upon hours that Anakin had spent trying to beat the machine into submission, or rather, working order. But this is how she had hoped to find the station; this was all part of her plan.

When she arrived she had unloaded her small supply of air tanks and water bottles, enough to last her ten days, and stored them into Anakin’s old room. Then, she’d very methodically sealed his room. Every wall juncture, every crevice, every vent, had been stuffed with rubberized poxy sealant; the air vents had been covered and sealed as well. Once she’d accomplished her task, she’d programmed her astro-mech to take off, then had detonated a self-destruct mechanism and watched her X-wing blow into a million pieces. If she managed to accomplish what she had come here to do, then, in theory, she wouldn’t care about breathing or eating any more. If she failed… then provisions would be unnecessary because she would simply put the hilt of her lightsaber to her chest and activate it. This station is where she had last known joy, and therefore seemed like a fitting place to die.

Taking one last good look around the room, Tahiri settled herself onto the floor, legs crossed, hands on her knees. She was going to spend a few moments thinking, going over in her mind all that she had planned out; contemplate the magnitude of what she was about to do. She had learned three very important things during her year with the Aing Tii Monks; one, that Jacen Solo had been a simplistic and literal thinker. Two; that there was truth in Luke Skywalker’s ‘a certain point of view’ adage, and three; that life was one giant game of semantics. At the very moment in her studies that she had realized that Jacen had been right when he said that it wasn’t possible to bring Anakin back to life, she discovered that it was possible to save Anakin.

Certain that she was as ready as she could possibly be, that she was prepared to see Anakin, to speak to him, to handle the disappointment he would undoubtedly feel when she told him of all the mistakes she had made, of the disaster she had made of her life, she allowed herself to slip into the currents of the Force and look for a specific place and moment in time.

She knew exactly where she wanted to go; this very room, four nights before the Strike Team was to board the Lady Luck. She remembered that particular evening well and steered clear of the five hours after evening meal, just as she had specifically avoided her old room; avoided the time she and Anakin had spent alone in there. She’d spent plenty of time over the years thinking about that, and the many other nights that had played out the same way.

Tahiri sighed and let the thoughts of other people and other times flow away from her and focused on the task at hand; sinking deeper into the Force and looking for that specific moment, that familiar calm. She looked for peace, she looked for love.

Chapter Text

Chapter 1
Am I the same girl? Yes, I am, yes, I am…

28 ABY
Eclipse Station

Tahiri opened her eyes and looked around the darkened room, thankful that Anakin had left the low fresher light on so she could see. Taking a deep breath, she stood onto her knees, and scooted over the few feet toward the bed. Her heart nearly beating out of her chest in joy.

There he was, sleeping on his side, the bed sheet knotted in his fist, a lock of sandy brown hair hanging over one eye. She resisted the urge to brush that lock of hair away, knew the contact would scare him, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. The next few minutes were going to be hard enough, waking him from a dead sleep and causing him a heart attack would sort of defeat the purpose of all her work.

Sitting back on her heels she gently reached out with the Force, caressing his mind, the way she used to, guiding him gently to consciousness. After a minute, an eternity it seemed to her, those blue eyes she had missed so much opened slowly and stared right at her, confusion more than evident.

“Tahiri?” His voice was quiet and slightly slurred with sleep, but full of love and concern. “What are you…” His words were cut short as he focused and fully took her in.

The fear she was hoping to avoid rose in him quickly and she realized that she had to act fast to calm him.

“Yes, Anakin,” she whispered, “I’m Tahiri, but I need you to stay calm so I can explain what’s going on. I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Why are you here? And why do you look so different?”

“I’m here to tell you what you need to know about the Voxyn Mission. I’m not your Tahiri, but I am what your Tahiri could become if you don’t listen to me.”

“Are you going to hurt her?”

“No, in fact, if all goes well, we’re going to keep her safe, and you safe too.”

His confusion grew until a slow smile spread across his face and he relaxed, it was clear that his sleep-fogged mind had just put a bunch of pieces together, though Tahiri knew they weren’t the right ones; he likely thought he was still sleeping.

“It’s funny, you look a lot older,” he said through a yawn as he fluffed his pillow and pressed his head back into it.

Reaching over and placing her hand on his shoulder, she said, “I look older because I’m thirty-two, and I’ve been through a lot. And I need you to sit up. We have to talk.”

He gave her a wicked smile, “You want to talk again? I thought twice in one night was enough to tide you over until tomorrow.”

Tahiri rolled her eyes, “Not that kind of talk hero-boy. Come on, I need you to wake up and focus.”

Sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of his bed, Anakin dragged a hand down his face, rubbing his eyes and blinking a few times and then chuckling.

“This is the strangest dream I’ve ever had, I mean I’ve dreamed of you before, a lot actually, and I’ve even dreamed of you being older, but usually wearing less, and you never actually talk, I mean not like with words. Of course, they are dreams. You always sort of just do what I want you to do and don’t ask any questions or give me any orders.”

“As if I ever doubted your male-ness. Anakin, you’re not having a dream. I’m real, I’m really here, and I’ve come a long way to be with you.”

Anakin shook his head again, clearly trying to process what he was seeing and hearing.

“It’s funny, you actually feel like Tahiri, though… different.”

“That’s because I am Tahiri, I’m just not your Tahiri. I’ve come from the future, one possible future, a future I’m trying desperately to avoid.”

“Well, I guess that is something that a dream Tahiri might say, if I let her talk in my dreams.”

Beginning to get extremely exasperated, she leaned in closer and looked right into his eyes. “I’m not a dream; I’m really here. Give me your hand.”

Anakin blinked again, and lazily reached out, then gasped at the contact as Tahiri interlaced their fingers and pressed his palm to her cheek. The tears she knew would likely come began to flow down her face, and Anakin moved his thumb over them, wiping them away, then stiffened.

“You really are here, aren’t you? How is that possible? Wait…”

He reached for his comlink, but Tahiri grabbed his hand to stop him.

“No, you can’t comm anyone. It’s really important that no one else knows I’m here.”

“Why? I mean, you’re freaking me out a little here, I’d really like to check with someone else to make sure I’m not hallucinating.”

“I know, and I know that this must be disconcerting, but you can’t tell anyone, and what I have to tell you is going to be hard for you to accept at first, but trust me, you need to hear it, and you’ll understand why when I’m done.”

“Ok,” he said dubiously, “I’m not dreaming, you are not my Tahiri, you’re a Tahiri, from the future,” he paused and squinted his eyes, “a possible future, one you’re trying to avoid, and by telling me what you want to tell me you think you can avoid this possible future?”

“Yes, in essence, that’s what is going on.”

“And tell me again why I should listen to you and not call Tahiri, my Tahiri, here to tell me that I’m not having a really weird dream? I mean I could just be imagining you because I’m under a bit of stress.”

“Always the master of understatement. Anakin, you are under a tremendous amount of stress.”

“Exactly, which only proves my point. So if I’m not having a very realistic dream, then either I’m having a vision, like the one I had of you on Yavin, or you are a figment of my imagination.”

“Would it help if I told you things that only you and I would know.”

Anakin chuckled. “Hardly. If I’m imagining you, I’d just have you tell me things that I wanted to hear.”

“What if I told you things that you and Luke have discussed that you haven’t told Tahiri about yet.”

Anakin raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “I tell Tahiri everything.”

“Right. You tell her what you absolutely have to if you think you’re protecting her, and when she figures out that you’re hiding something she beats it out of you.” Tahiri felt a spike of anxiety rush through him at being caught out as soon as the words were out of her mouth. “See, if you were imagining me, then how would I know that you were planning on asking Luke to consider not letting me go on this mission?”

“If you’re a figment of my imagination, I could make you say that because I feel guilty about trying to leave you behind, her behind.”

“Wrong. You and your Tahiri will fight tomorrow because she’ll know that you’re hiding something, or at least that’s what happened last time. My being here may change that.”

Anakin chuckled ruefully. “If you being here can help me avoid getting yelled at by Tahiri, you may be worth the confusion I’m feeling now.”

“I didn’t yell at you that much.”

“Now I know you’re a dream.”

Tahiri sighed and shook her head. “As much as I’d love to hang out and debate my existence, we have a lot to cover.” Letting go of Anakin’s hand she stood up and began to pace. “You’ve felt me, you felt my face and my tears; I’ve told you things that your Tahiri doesn’t know yet.”

Almost reluctantly, Anakin nodded, then shook his head from side to side slowly. “I’m not imagining you am I?”

“Finally,” she muttered. “No, you’re not. And you haven’t lost your mind.”

“Are you like a Force ghost or something? Uncle Luke always described them as ‘ethereal’ or incorporeal.”

“I’m not a Force ghost. I used a time travel type of method called Flow Walking to get here. I first learned about it from Jacen, then I went to the group of Force users he learned it from, the Aing Tii monks, and learned how to do it on my own and, here I am. I’ve come back in time so I can help you.”

“You keep saying that, what exactly are you going to help me do?”

“Not die.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

3 hours later

Anakin sat on the floor of his room, leaning against the side of his bed, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. The aching that had started in his chest while listening to this… woman, listening to her tale, had moved slowly up to his head.

He had never had a lot of time or patience for his brother’s self-indulgent or esoteric views, but if he were to believe what he was being told, then Jacen had a much more clear understanding of the intricacies of Force workings than Anakin had ever given him credit for. Or rather, he would have one day. Of course, according to this Tahiri, who he’d begun to think of as ‘Older Tahiri’ just to keep her and ‘Younger Tahiri’ straight in his head, those beliefs that Jacen would eventually hold would cause nothing but pain to the people Anakin loved most, as well as the galaxy at large.

Sighing again, he’d done a lot of that in the last couple of hours, he raised his head to look at ‘Older Tahiri’, trying desperately to reconcile what she was saying with what he knew to be true.

They had debated again his comming someone else to confirm that he hadn’t lost his mind. She had again won out, evidently some things never changed, reasoning that any question he might pose to another, in an attempt to verify his sanity, would set off alarms in the Force, bringing a stampede to his door and revealing her. What she had allowed Anakin to do, had actually encouraged, was to gently reach out to his siblings, his parents, his uncle, finally even Tahiri, his Tahiri, to prove to himself that they were all safe and where they were supposed to be; in their beds, sound asleep.

It hadn’t been hearing this woman detail his death that had so upset him, he was painfully aware of the fact that his chances of surviving the upcoming mission weren’t terribly high, it hadn’t even been her story of Jacen’s slide into megalomania and Sithdom that had so unnerved him; it had been her confession of what the last sixteen years of her own life had been that had set off a wave of nausea that hadn’t let up even after an hour. The idea that his Tahiri, the woman he loved and already knew he’d spend the rest of his life with, long or short as it may be, could be twisted into the sad creature in front of him unnerved him in a way he would never have imagined possible. Especially hard to hear was the fact that it had been his own death that had begun her downward spiral, that had brought her to where she was now; sitting in front of him trying to change his future.

In a quiet voice he hardly recognized as his own, he asked, “How long were you in prison?”

“Only two years. I was extremely fortunate.” Was the equally quiet, and very shamed, response.

“Why solitary confinement?” He couldn’t imagine a worse punishment for her. But then, maybe her ability to talk a blue streak had changed with all the other things.

“How else does one keep a Force sensitive Yuuzhan Vong trained as both a Jedi and a Sith contained? They weren’t going to let me wander around in the general prison population.”

“Would you have run? Tried to escape?”

“No. But Daala isn’t a big fan of the Jedi, and I think I ended up serving as an example for both sides. By agreeing to my sentence the Jedi didn’t look like they were trying to protect one of their own, not that I was one of their own anymore, and the government got to look like they were trying to rectify what Jacen and I had done.”

“You make it sound like you were with Jacen on this from the start.”

“No, but that hardly mattered in the end. They were all afraid of me, and your uncle had no interest in speaking on my behalf after everything I had done; especially to Ben. I’m sure everyone thought they were being generous by putting me in a duracrete box surrounded by ysalamari rather than executing me.”

“But you gave them everything they wanted, right? You answered all their questions and pleaded guilty… why were they so harsh?”

“Like I said; I was an example, and I didn’t fight it. By that point I didn’t feel I had anything left to fight for.”

“But now you do?”

“For the next few days. If this works, then maybe I can die knowing that I did something positive to change the outcome of yours and Jacen’s lives, which would be a huge thing for your family. If Jacen doesn’t fall, he doesn’t kill Mara, neither he or I torture Ben, Jaina doesn’t have to kill Caedus, your parents don’t lose both of their sons. And if this doesn’t work… well, at least I’ll have tried, and, as selfish as it sounds, I’ll have had this time with you. After all, that’s sort of what got me into this mess.”

“Wanting to be with me again?”

“Yeah. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you. Or how happy I am to finally apologize for not kissing you good-bye. Well, him… you know what I mean.”

“Tahiri, has all of this really been a result of you feeling guilty about that.”

“You have no idea.”

“Would it help you to know that I know how much Tahiri loves me?”

“I don’t know. But it might help her to know how much you love her.”

Anakin shook his head to dispel the thoughts of what his death had done to this Tahiri, and instead focused on how she got here. “How does this Flow Walking work? If Jacen couldn’t change my fate, why do you think you can?”

“Jacen used this to manipulate me, and I let him. I’m not deluded enough to think that I was a victim here. My desire to see you again was stronger than my desire to do what I knew was right, what I knew you’d have wanted me to do. I was weak.

“As far as Jacen and his claims of whether or not this could work are concerned, here is my theory; since he never had any real interest in accomplishing it, he didn’t pursue it, and though he was right, what I later realized is that what he told me may only true from ‘a certain point of view’.”

“Meaning, you could change the outcome on a different plane?”

“Exactly. Even if I can’t have my Anakin back, maybe I can help you and your Tahiri have a future.”

A sharp spike of pain pierced Anakin’s brain at the mere prospect of making that statement make sense, and yet, oddly, he did sort of get what Older Tahiri was saying.

“And hopefully we can also save your family, and ultimately the galaxy, the heartache that your Jacen could eventually cause.”

“It sounds like the best way to do that may be to launch my self-righteous brother out an airlock.”

“Don’t get me started. But honestly, it’s important for us to remember that the Jacen asleep down the hall hasn’t committed any of these acts. I know you love him, for all his faults and all your differences, and you know that too. We can’t punish this Jacen for what that Jacen did.”

“So not only do we have to prevent me from dying, but we have to prevent Vergere from taking Jacen from the Baanu Rass and torturing him.”

“Yes.”

“And tell me again how you think we can accomplish this.”

“Judging from Leia’s experience when she was at the Tachyon Flier crash site, and what I learned from Jacen and the monks, I know that when we Flow Walk we can leave impressions. What I’m doing now is leaving an impression. After I’m gone, you will remember our conversation, my coming to you. What choices you make, based on all the things that I’m going to tell you, will be what affects your future.”

“After you're gone? When are you leaving? You haven’t told me anything yet.”

“Relax, I have enough air in your room in my time to keep me going until you leave for the mission. I’ll need to take breaks to rest now and then, and I’m not totally sure how that will work in terms of me being able to find my way back, but we’ll work it out as best we can.”

“What do you mean, finding your way back?”

“Anakin, as soon as you change something significant, I may not exist anymore. Or at least not as I already have. If you make changes in the next four days, before you leave for the mission, then I don’t know where I’ll have ended up, or that I would ever have learned to Flow Walk.”

“So, I can’t kick Jacen off the roster before we leave, or he will never be captured by Vergere, and blah, blah, blah, he won’t become a Flow Walking Sith bastard who brain rapes you.”

“Colorfully put, but yes.”

“What do you expect? I’ve spent the last seven years with you. You’re colorful if nothing else.”

“Thank you, I think.”

“I hope you don’t find this offensive… but I don’t want her to end up like you. We can’t let that happen to her.”

“No offense taken. I don’t want her to end up like me either.”

They were both silent for a moment, thinking of the girl sleeping down the hall.

Finally Anakin said quietly; “I notice you haven’t told me not to go on the mission.”

Tears began to flow down Tahiri’s face again. “No. I’ve spent years thinking about this, and even with everything I’ve seen and been through, I know that you were right then, and you’re right now; the queen has to be destroyed. Too much is at stake.”

“But with all you know, why choose this time to come back? Why not another time?”

“Because I don’t know how my interference would affect the outcome of other situations. This was the one time that I knew I might have a positive impact on.”

“So we can’t go back and save Chewie?”

“I wouldn’t know how. And that would change other things that might make matters worse for you down the road.”

“I guess that makes sense. So if the mission has to be undertaken, then you have to tell me every detail you remember in order to help me avoid what happened in your… what? Is there a word? Your ‘time’? Wait, can you go on the mission with us?”

“Right, talk about a logistical nightmare. I have to be in the same physical place you are to come to you. I’ve Walked back to the world ship and it’s hard to hang out and hide for a few minutes, it’d be impossible to hide me there the whole time. You think sneaking in and out of each other’s room at night is a hassle?”

“There’s a point. Hey, did anyone ever know about that? I mean, what was going on between us?”

Tahiri got a faraway look on her face and then her eyes drifted close. When she opened them a moment later, there was a strange light in them that Anakin had never seen in his own Tahiri’s eyes.

“Kriff,” she sighed, “I’ve spent years trying to figure that out. I still think that they probably did, and just didn’t want to deal with it so they ignored us.”

“I guess that makes sense. We were pretty discreet in public.”

“Although, my monthly requests for ovulation suppression meds had to have clued Cighal in.”

“Maybe fish use them for different reasons?”

Tahiri just shook her head as Anakin chuckled.

“Do you remember the time Jaina and Zekk walked in on us in the dry goods pantry?”

Tahiri smiled and let her head fall to the side, looking at Anakin through her eyelashes, “Do you remember the time your dad came into your room while we were in the shower?”

“Remember? That was two days ago.”

“Oh, right. Forgot. It was sixteen years ago for me.”

Anakin grew serious again. “Were they good to you... after? After I… went?”

“Yeah,” she answered hesitantly. “They tried. I think it was hard for them to deal with how… distraught I was. I think in a way, they didn’t feel like I deserved to be as devastated as I was, or that I shouldn’t have let it show. They were all so stoic; all got on with their lives fairly quickly, at least that was how it seemed. I had a harder time putting on a brave face and pretending my primary hadn’t just gone nova.

“Jaina was there for the melding. I’m not sure I would have retained any Tahiri if she hadn’t helped. But when the war ended I went with Zonama Sekot and I didn’t speak to any of them for over five years.”

Slowly getting up, he scooted over to where Tahiri sat, pulled her into his side and wrapped her up in a tight hug. It only took seconds for the tears to start again, and only seconds more for the tears to turn into big wracking sobs. Anakin held her tight and rocked her as all the pain and loneliness that she had felt for half her life came pouring out of her.

He whispered to her, telling her he was sure her Anakin knew how much she loved him, and that he would make this better, that he was sorry that he couldn’t bring her Anakin back, but that he would be forever grateful that she was doing so much to give him and his Tahiri what had been taken from her, what she had never had.

They stayed that way for some time, until Anakin began to realize that Tahiri was vanishing. He jerked back, his movement causing her to startle.

“Sorry, you were starting to sort of fade, I think you were falling asleep.”

“I lost my concentration, I must have been slipping out of the Flow.”

“Why don’t you go back and get some sleep.”

“But I still have so much to tell you.”

“And we’re both exhausted. Go rest.”

Standing up, Anakin reached for the shirt he had discarded when he’d entered his room.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going back to Tahiri’s room. I need her, and I need to think, and I need to tell her how much I love her. I’ll be back in an hour, and when I get here, you and I are going to go over the mission again. I want every detail, I want to know what everyone said, did, thought… I want every piece of information you can recall, no matter how insignificant it might seem to you now.”

“I’ll give you everything you need, but I think there are really only a few major points that are going to make a significant difference.”

“And what are those?”

“Leave Lomi Plo and Welk where they are, don’t let Vergere take Jacen, and for Force sake Anakin, if we can’t prevent you from taking an amphistaff to your spleen, then go into a healing trance immediately.”

Anakin felt the blood drain from his face and knew instantly that in this Tahiri’s life it had been his own reckless choices that had caused his death, and subsequently, the chain of events that followed, and he needed his Tahiri right then more than he ever had before.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2
I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know

28 ABY
Eclipse Space Station, Deep Core

Through a sleepy haze Tahiri heard the door to her room hiss open and vaguely registered the sound of Anakin’s footsteps as he made his way over to her bed. Before she had time to puzzle out why he was back, or how long ago it was that he had left, he had stripped off his vac suit and shirt and was sliding back between the sheets. He slipped one arm under her pillow and the other around her waist, pulling her body tightly to his before resting his head behind hers and pressing his lips to her hair.

As the satiated fog began to fade, Tahiri was assaulted by the tempest of emotion coming off Anakin. He was terrified, and her first thought was that the gravity of the mission they were about to undertake was finally sinking in and he was afraid. If that were the case then his return was likely for the purpose of once again trying to talk her out of going with him. But as soon as that thought finished its trip across her mind, she realized that his fear was different, new. It wasn’t a fear for her as much as a general fear. She also realized that the small sigh that had escaped him as he kissed her head was not a sigh at all, but a sob; Anakin was crying.

Tahiri rolled over in his arms, then lifted her hand up to gently caress his cheek. She felt his tears, lightly smoothed her thumb over his skin to wipe them away and opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but didn’t have a chance to get the words out before he was kissing her. Realizing immediately what he needed from her, and how desperately he needed it, Tahiri put aside all thoughts of what could have happened since he’d tucked her in and snuck out of her room earlier. Anakin would tell her what he wanted to tell her when he was ready, and not a second before. Right now what he needed was to be comforted, to feel safe and loved, and she would give all that she was to accomplish that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tahiri sat between Anakin’s outstretched legs, her shoulder leaning against his chest, one hand fisting his shirt, the other cupping his neck, staring off into the distance, while Anakin absently ran his fingers through her hair. Older Tahiri sat opposite them, head leaned back against the wall, clearly exhausted and fighting to keep her hold on the flow.

Anakin had thought listening to what Older Tahiri had to tell him earlier was rough, but it didn’t begin to compare with what she had shared when they’d all sat down in his room again a few hours ago. He’d known, intuitively, that team members were going to die, he’d known that he was going to have to make difficult choices, he’d even known that he was going to make mistakes, but hearing them recited one by one, one after another, was a different thing entirely. Had it not been for the strength of these two women, and their combined belief in him and his ability to make it right this time, he might have been tempted to call off the mission, and hope that the Jedi could just try to outrun the Voxyn until the Vong got tired of this particular brand of torture.

Torture.

That was a hard one to listen to too. As with many of the other aspects of the mission that they had anticipated, ‘prepared’ for, listening to Older Tahiri recount what had been done to her, how many times she had been dragged to the center of the room for breaking was almost too much to bear. He hadn’t liked hearing what they had done to him or his siblings, had gotten a little nausea, again, when listening to what had been done to Ulaha, but evidently, only Ulaha had been taken to the center of the holding chamber more than Tahiri had.

She thought that maybe the Vong had targeted her because she was the smallest, and they may have equated that with weakness and thought the other team members would try to protect her. She had mused at one point that maybe they had recognized her as the Jedi who was shaped, and were just playing with her to see if the Jedi who had stood with Vua Rapuung would come to her defense again. She did say that despite Anakin’s orders she had shut herself off from the meld every time, fearing what he would do if he could feel her fear or pain.

Typical, Anakin had thought.

After that, Older Tahiri had regaled them with tales of cramming into escape pods while Ulaha sacrificed herself to cover their landings, the team’s debate over freeing the Dark Jedi, Vergere and Nom Anor laying in wait and dogging them through the entire treck, and finally the ambush in the slave city where Anakin had been hurt. None of this, however, prepared him for both women's reactions to Older Tahiri’s telling them of how Anakin had actually died.

There wasn’t much left after that; Tahiri going with Jaina to get Anakin’s body back, and her laying with him on the flight off the World Ship. She admitted that she didn’t remember much after she’d felt Anakin go and apologized that she couldn’t give them more information about Jacen killing the Queen and then being captured because she had only been told about those events later by the others. Anakin had nodded numbly, and Younger Tahiri had crawled into his lap and begun to weep like he’d never seen her weep before. And now here they sat; emotionally drained, and having gotten almost no sleep.

Anakin stretched his foot out to gently nudge Older Tahiri, causing her to lower her chin back down and look at him.

“Why don’t you go back and get some rest. Tahiri and I need to talk and I’ve got to meet with Luke.”

Younger Tahiri sat up, an expression Anakin knew all too well, and frankly, feared, on her face.

“If you think for a moment, Anakin Solo,” she whispered harshly, “that you’re doing any talking to Luke without me…”

To Anakin’s surprise, it was Older Tahiri that cut her off.

“Stop. You have to back down and let him handle this. And you can’t let anyone know about me or changes could happen too soon and I won’t be able to get back. Believe it or not I’ve got tons more to tell you both.” Leaning forward, pinning Tahiri with her glare, she said, “especially you.”

“Why me?”

“Because if we aren’t able to save him, and you are left alone, we want to avoid you having to go through some of the things I went through.”

“The melding.”

“Among other things.”

Younger Tahiri sank back into him as she nodded, surprising Anakin. He’d never seen her give in to anyone so easily, but then, he realized, this was hardly easy. And besides, she was giving into herself, so it sort of didn’t count.

The three sat in silence for a moment more before Older Tahiri broke it. “You’re right Anakin, I’m exhausted, and I’m not going to be any good to you if I can’t think straight, but before I go, we need to figure out what you two are going to do today. I’ll come back tonight but you can’t just hang out while I’m gone, you have to act normal.”

“Normal?” Anakin asked, incredulously.

“Well, you know what I mean. Today you all continue plotting out the mission points for what happens on the Lady Luck and work on programming Lando’s droids.”

Anakin closed his eyes for a while and could practically feel both Tahiris watching him.

“Anakin?” They asked in unison, and he chuckled quietly because the inflection was identical.

“Sorry. I was thinking about Jacen.”

“What about Jacen?” They asked, in unison again.

“Okay, you guys are freaking me out. Could you like, take turns talking or something?” They all laughed at that, though Anakin noted that there was a slightly more hysterical note to his Tahiri’s tone. Anakin pulled her against his chest and rubbed her back as he continued. “It seems to me that on some level Jacen figures heavily into all possible futures. Whether it’s screwing with the battle meld, or insisting that Lomi and Welk be brought along, or his inability to listen to me. But at the same time, we can’t kick him off the team, at least not yet.”

Older Tahiri had drawn her knees up to her chest and was listening intently. “And?” She prompted.

“Maybe if I can impress upon him, upon everyone really, how important some of the things you told me are, I can head off some of the problems before we leave. We can still take the same team members, we won’t have made any significant changes yet; you can still find your way back…”

“In theory.”

“In theory. It’s worth a shot.”

Younger Tahiri sat back up and wiped her cheeks. “Let’s get back to Jacen for a minute.” Looking up at Anakin she said, “What if you suggest the meld, and him being in charge of it, now? Don’t wait until you two are at each other’s throats and Jaina comes up with it. Maybe if you make it seem like he’s doing you this great favor, that you can’t survive without, he’ll cool his jets and not be so self-righteous.”

“She has a point.” Older Tahiri said. “If he feels valued from the beginning… it could work. I’ve always had a theory about Jacen not feeling appreciated enough and that being a big part of his issues.”

Anakin sat shaking his head. “And by making this suggestion today, I change what came before. We really should face the fact that you may not be coming back. I mean the very fact that you’ve told us all you have may have changed the future enough already.”

They all stared at each other, none of them knowing what to say, all sad at the prospect that these could be their final seconds together.

“Tahiri,” Younger Tahiri finally said, “if you aren’t able to make it back, if we don’t see you again, I want you to know how much I appreciate what you’ve done for us, and how sorry I am for what you’ve been through.”

“Me too,” Anakin added. “If how I feel is anything to go by, I know he loved you, and I know this may seem strange to you, but I love you too, and I can’t thank you enough for what you’re trying to do for us.”

A small sob escaped Tahiri, and when her second attempt to thank them failed, she simply smiled and nodded her head. After another moment she pulled herself together and said, “I have a lot more to share with you, so try not to screw anything up today so I can’t get back. Oh, and no messing around tonight. You guys take forever, which is fabulous when you’re the ones actually doing it, not so great when you’re waiting for you to finish.”

Anakin sat stunned as Older Tahiri began to fade before his eyes, chagrined and amazed, though not sure why after the night he’d just had, being ribbed about their love making, or watching a human being disappear should elicit any reaction at all.

“Tahiri…”

“Yes, Anakin?”

“That all just happened, didn’t it?”

“Yes, Anakin.”

“So, you walked cross time for me.”

Tahiri grinned, and leaned into him, rubbing the tip of her nose against his. “I guess I owed you. You’d already walked across two planets for me.”

“So, we’re not just like… two ships passing in the night.”

“I’d say not. Much more serious than that.” She smiled slightly, brushing her lips lightly against his.

“Speaking of serious…” Anakin sighed.

“Yeah. That was some really kriffed up stuff she said.”

“Even with her helping us, it’s going to be a whole lot worse than we thought it was going to be.”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to live in denial for a few more minutes.”

“Mmmm. Long enough for a quickie.”

“Yes, please. Just not so quick I don’t forget what I’m trying to forget.”

Anakin nodded, and kissed the tear that slipped down Tahiri’s cheek before leaning her back onto the floor.

“I think people are waking up.” Anakin warned slowly, as he trailed kisses down her neck, and passed her collarbone.

“You know what? I honestly don’t care anymore,” she sighed.

Pushing his weight back up to his hands and knees, Anakin looked deeply into Tahiri’s eyes, all playfulness gone from his expression. “No matter what happens, you have to know, I love you.”

Nodding slowly, and reaching up to smooth that lock of hair away from his eye, Tahiri whispered, “I do know, and I love you too.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 3
You Are My World, You’re Every Breath I Take…

28 ABY
Eclipse Station, Deep Core

Anakin felt, for the third time in as many days, a sense of otherness; of unreality, as though he were not truly himself, but another being, observing the gathering before him from an alien body. What was happening before him was absurd, and he simply couldn’t believe they were getting away with it. He was watching Tahiri, his Tahiri, not the time travelling, Flow Walking, former Sith version of her who had been manipulated by his psychotic brother, but his actual Tahiri, lie like a champ to a room full of Jedi.

And they were eating up every last word.

He had to hand it to her, as disturbing as this was; she was good. But then, she had to be. And she had spent hours going over this stuff.

The Tahiris weren’t messing around when it came to the prospect of keeping him alive; they had become very methodical and businesslike. Younger Tahiri had been taking copious notes while Older Tahiri continued her narrative of the ‘last time’ and all that had gone wrong.

This particular idea, the one Younger Tahiri was currently selling like fresh shuura fruit on a hot day, was Older Tahiri’s, and though painfully obvious once she’d thought of it, had only come to her during her rest period the day before. She had reasoned that since none of the other Jedi had ever asked, or seemed to really care about her shaping, and she had never volunteered anything beyond a very basic debriefing, that Younger Tahiri and Anakin had a free pass to use all of Older Tahiri’s knowledge of the ‘past’ and act like they knew some of what was in store for the Strike Team based on Younger Tahiri’s implanted ‘creche’ training. The reality was that Younger Tahiri would have had no idea what she was talking about, but at this stage of the game, none of the three of them were inclined to let ‘reality’ stand in the way of getting stuff done.

There was no specific protocol for ‘breaking’ that any of the castes used, so Tahiri, or Riina, wouldn’t have learned anything about that while she was ‘growing up’ on a world ship, as she now claimed. No problem there. The Tahiris just made that part up and went with it figuring the more information they could impart, the better prepared the team would be.

In horrid detail, Younger Tahiri explained that in group settings it wasn’t the person being hurt that the inflictor was really trying to get information from; it was the ones sitting around listening to the screams that they were hoping to make talk, in an effort to protect their companions. Also, just for fun, they’d likely be pinned down, with Borlash jelly or something, facing away from the action, left to wonder what was being done to the person being abused, relying on the imagination of the listener to conjure up far worse abuse than even the Yuuzhan Vong could think of. Just to get the point across, and because Younger Tahiri was beginning to develop a real dislike for Jacen, she asked him to imagine what would go through his mind if he were bound to the floor, with Tenel Ka behind him, out of eyesight, screaming in pain, being taunted by the enemy.

Raynar broke the tension by commenting that it seemed odd that the Yuuzhan Vong would be so methodical and slavish to their interrogation methods, and doubted the accuracy of Tahiri’s claims. She simply acted put out, not hard for her, and told him that she didn’t think to ask the shapers why they implanted the information they did while they were torturing her, and that if he didn’t believe her, he certainly didn’t have to listen. No one else was stupid enough to question her and Anakin assumed that it had less to do with doubts about Tahiri’s information than the futility of debating her claims.

The Voxyn was an easier matter to address, and certainly for the team members to hear. Though the Jedi present didn’t know it, the beasts hadn’t existed yet during Tahiri’s captivity, nor had Mezhan Kwaad or Nen Yim been involved in their shaping. In fact, most of the information the team would ever know had been gathered by Cilghal at Eclipse. And while it had been Tenel Ka who had initially posed the theory that the Voxyn were clones of a single specimen, Tahiri was offering a sudden wealth of knowledge that backed up all that the Jedi had learned, reinforcing their suspicions, only adding a few new pieces of information. When asked why she was just now coming forth with all this, she explained that she had repressed memories of her time in the damutek due to the pain of the whole experience and it was during her and Ankin’s recent ‘meditation’ sessions that she was able to recover the information that she was sharing.

A moment after the words ‘meditation sessions’ were out of Tahiri’s mouth, Anakin caught the gist of a conversation between Ganner and Raynar about needing to pay up, and Raynar’s response that ‘meditating’ didn’t necessarily mean they were meditating and besides, it depended on whether or not Anakin and Tahiri had started meditating before or after they left the Errant Venture that determined whether Raynar owed Ganner or Zekk. The out of body feeling vanished in an instant, replaced by rage, and an animal protectiveness for Tahiri. Anakin felt a sudden stiffening in the two seats behind him; clearly Ganner and Raynar sensed that they had been overheard and both were waiting for the eruption from him. But the eruption didn’t come, instead Anakin took a breath, calmed himself and looked back up at Tahiri, who had stopped talking and was looking at him, eyes squinted. She had felt the emotional surge and was waiting to see what was going on.

Anakin nodded his head, saying, “Sorry, I just had a thought, we can discuss it later. But in the meantime, we’ve probably gone over all this enough. Why don’t we go on to the religious stuff; the shamed ones and the twin thing; I’m sure Jaina and Jacen in particular will be interested in that.”

He knew Tahiri didn’t believe him, he hadn’t even attempted to cover his lie in their bond, and that in and of itself would tell her that whatever it was that had set him off he would let her in on later.

Nodding slightly, Tahiri turned back to the group and, addressing Luke specifically, who was sitting three seats over from her, began reciting tales of Gods that had dismembered themselves, rumors of a heretical movement among the shamed ones and the possibility that Anakin and Tahiri could be at the center of it, and finally, twins, and why Jaina and Jacen, Jedi twins of a Jedi twin, might be of extra special significance to their soon to be captors.

The assembled team had heard about the Shamed Ones story when Anakin, Tahiri and Corran had returned from Yag’ Dhul, so that wasn’t new, but the claim that it may be of importance during the mission was, and completely fabricated by Older Tahiri. There was no reason to believe that the Shamed Ones on the world ship they were headed for, which Anakin and Tahiri were careful not to refer to by name, would have heard the story of the Jedi Who Was Shaped and The Jedi Who Stood With Rua Vuuang, but the team didn’t know that, and what they didn’t know could come in handy later on. Older Tahiri had thought that if Anakin did wind up hurt, or if for any other reason the team needed to hide, as they had last time, then their belief that they could trust Shamed Ones would save time. It was flimsy, but they’d take flimsy over nothing any day.

Anakin phased in and out of listening to Tahiri recite information and answer questions, all of which he’d heard before, and thought more about what he had just overheard and what that meant to the team.

He and Older Tahiri, on the night she had first appeared, had pondered whether anyone had known about their sex life. They had ultimately decided that it didn’t matter, but Anakin realized now that it did.

Respect. That was the issue here, and Anakin knew exactly why it was important.

According to Older Tahiri, there was considerable discord in the meld and the group had broken down three ways; those who followed Anakin, those who followed Jacen, and those who made their own decisions based on their own feelings regarding a given order. If the Jedi were so lacking in respect for him that they would make base comments and entertain themselves by placing bets about his sex life, what did that say about their willingness to follow his command? Did they think he was behaving irresponsibly with Tahiri? Did they feel he was making inappropriate choices? Were they more likely to follow his holier than thou brother based on their own prejudices of how they thought Anakin and Tahiri should be conducting themselves privately? It was possible that none of these things had anything to do with each other, but it was also possible that it was all tied together. It was possible that this was an example of a situation where Anakin was making a choice that the others would not make themselves and would therefore have an effect on their willingness to follow his lead.

And why would the team members lack respect for his relationship with Tahiri? Because they saw him as a ‘little brother’, didn’t really know Tahiri, and they didn’t understand the magnitude of what they were looking at.

It had struck Anakin a couple of days earlier, whilst listening to the Tahiris plot out the next few weeks of his life, that they were engaging in a very intricate, and carefully strategic, game of psychological warfare; them against anyone who wasn’t Anakin; winner take all. They were effectively manipulating the team members by supplying the right information to keep Anakin alive. They certainly didn’t want to cause harm to any of the others, but no one else was as important as he was.

At one point their seemingly obsessive devotion to him frightened him a bit, but then he sat back and tried to put himself in their shoes and felt like his chest would cave in.

He was all Younger Tahiri had in the galaxy. No one loved her but him. There were people who cared somewhat, there were even people who would mourn her if she died he supposed, but there was no one else who truly and deeply loved her, and she certainly wasn’t the center of anyone else’s existence. No one but him would have a hard time facing a day without her in it and it was losing that love that had driven Older Tahiri to what she was now; a convicted felon who had dabbled in Sithdom and murdered people so she could see glimpses of him in back flashes.

He had eventually realized that Tahiri’s devotion, his Tahiri’s, was not so frightening after all, because it was exactly what he felt for her; there was nothing that he wouldn’t do to keep her safe, nothing he wouldn’t sacrifice. If told he had to choose between Tahiri and his family, as much as he would wish he didn’t have to make the choice, he’d choose Tahiri. If faced with saving her or any member of the team, he’d choose her, without thinking twice.

So why had the other Anakin taken the amphistaff wound for Jaina? Because he didn’t realize what he was doing; what he was ultimately giving up. And when that mistake was compounded by his youthful brashness and the team’s sabotage by Lomi Plo and Welk, he ended up sacrificing the one thing he wanted never to sacrifice; his and Tahiri’s future.

And again, how did this all tie together? It all tied together because not a single member of the team felt about anyone else the way Anakin and Tahiri felt about each other. They would not see the intimacy that they shared as anything other than two horny teenagers engaging in raucous physical activity while the grownups weren’t looking. They wouldn’t see Anakin’s and Tahiri’s private life as an expression of deep love and commitment, or a precursor to a formal bond, which they had already planned. They did not understand the significance of their commitment to each other and therefore didn’t take it seriously. And if the team didn’t take their actions within their relationship seriously, would they take their actions regarding this mission seriously?

Did any of them take any of this seriously? How could they? They likely all saw this mission the way they saw Anakin’s and Tahiri’s relationship; they didn’t understand. They were all naïve, unprepared, and idealistic, and Anakin was beginning to think that his father was right and Luke was an idiot for letting them go. It was no wonder that the last mission had been such a klusterkriff from the start. Anakin had to wonder if it was better that he had Older Tahiri to guide him through it this time, or if ignorance again would have been bliss.

Rubbing his hands down his face, Anakin realized that he had his topic for tonight’s team meeting, the last one before they boarded the Lady Luck in the morning. They were going to go over the meld again. They were going to talk about respect and authority, and about making hard choices and following orders. They were going to discuss the fact that sometimes you had to do things that didn’t feel right in order to accomplish something that was right. They were going to revisit the fact that on this mission Anakin’s word was law and that if anyone thought for one second that he or she might not be able to do exactly what he said when he said it without thinking twice then they were staying behind, and then Anakin was going to drop the big bomb that Older Tahiri had made him promise to save for last: they were going to discuss what they would do if they felt or found any other Force sensitives on the World Ship once they got there.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4
The Power Of Goodbye

28 ABY
Eclipse Station, Deep Core

Anakin lay on his back on his bed, his head in Younger Tahiri’s lap, his legs across Older Tahiri’s. It was yet another experience in surrealism, but he was starting to get used to it, and wondered how he would adapt to having only one Tahiri again. At least he wouldn’t have to listen to them lecture him in unison anymore; that had to be a good thing.

He glanced up at the chrono on his desk; ten more minutes ‘til evening meal; it was time for Older Tahiri to say good-bye for good.

Taking a deep breath, Older Tahiri rubbed Anakin’s shin, then lifted his legs off her own and stood up, stretching, and Anakin idly wondered if that was a nervous gesture; did flow-walkers need to stretch?

She turned to face the bed and Anakin stood to join her and, ignoring the awkwardness, wrapped her in a tight hug. She melted into him and he tucked her head under his chin, swaying slightly as he stroked her hair. After a moment, he pulled back and placed a long, chaste kiss on her lips, then lifted his mouth and kissed her scarred forehead.

Looking deep into her eyes, he said, “Thank you. I really can’t think of anything else to say, except maybe, I know he loves you, and I know he’s going to be very happy to see you when this is all done.”

She smiled slightly. “I hope you’re right. He’s going to be so upset with some of the stuff I’ve done.”

Shaking his head, Anakin said, “He understands… and he’s already forgiven you.”

“Thank you. You’re not my Anakin, but you’re a wonderful man, and I’m really grateful that we’ve had this time together.”

“Me too. For more than just the obvious reasons.”

Younger Tahiri stood up to join them and her older self turned to face her, then hugged her hard and sighed again before stepping back and cupping her face.

“Remember; there is no right or wrong choice, only the one you can live with.”

Younger Tahiri burst into tears and wrapped her arms back around Older Tahiri, holding her so tight Anakin thought she’d crush her. Older Tahiri stroked her head and rubbed her back before pulling away again and forcing Younger Tahiri to look back up.

“You are far stronger than you think, and you are going to have to be far stronger than that, but you’ll be okay, no matter what choice you make. I know it.”

“Okay.”

“Now, have a good life. If I run into you again and you’ve kriffed this up we’re going to have words.”

Younger Tahiri snorted a laugh, causing Older Tahiri to laugh with her, and they both made slightly helpless gestures. Anakin watched them, wondering how strange this must be. How does one say goodbye to oneself?

Stepping back from them, Older Tahiri tilted her head slightly to one side and smiled. “Goodbye Anakin and Tahiri. May the Force be with you both.”

“May the Force be with you too,” they whispered back, but before they had finished, she was gone.

The sudden silence was deafening, until Tahiri burst into sobs again, and Anakin reached over and pulled her body into his, holding her tightly until she calmed down.

When she was almost quiet he asked; “Are you going to tell me what that was all about?”

Looking up at him, Tahiri traced a line across his forehead, moving the lock of hair that was hanging over his eye. “Not yet. I need to go to my room and meditate for a while.”

“No evening meal?”

“No. Go ahead without me. I’ll see you at the meeting.”

“Why am I suddenly feeling nervous?”

Taking a deep breath and chuckling softly, Tahiri answered. “That’s the dumbest question you’ve asked me in ages.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin looked out at the faces of the strike team members, the older Jedi, his parents, Lando, Tendra, all gathered around him in the great meeting hall... contemplating how to begin. If he started off too heavy handed he risked alienating some of the team, if he was too soft, appeared to be asking them to obey, he risked losing their respect.

There was that word again.

Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the holodisplay behind him and stared at the sea of stars and the Fleet ships strategically placed around the galaxy, showing where the various battles were being waged, what sectors the Vong had control of. It was a disheartening sight, but offered a glimpse of reality he hoped wasn’t lost on his audience.

Pointing to where they would be heading, he began; “We know that the transfer will happen somewhere near Obroa-skai. Hopefully, we’ll only be held by the Vong for two to three days before we are able to take the ship.

Turning back to the assemblage, he continued. “With the information that Tahiri has been able to give us, we have a fairly good understanding of what we may be in for during that time, though nothing is certain. What is certain is that this is a dangerous mission. Perhaps the most dangerous mission that any Jedi of our generation, or the one before us, has undertaken.

“As with all missions, things are going to go wrong, things will happen that we cannot possibly plan for. For this reason, we have leaders. For this reason, we choose one person to make choices in times of uncertainty. For this mission, I am that person, so I ask you, and you must ask yourself; do you trust me?”

Anakin paused to look a few of the team members in the eye; Raynar, Ganner, Zekk, his brother.

“I am the person who came up with the idea, approved the final plans, okayed the minor details. I decided who would participate and what their roles would be. I am in command.

“For the next several days, I am nobody’s little brother, I am nobody’s friend, I am nobody’s boyfriend. I am not the guy you went to the academy with, or the guy you eat midday meal with. I am your team leader and what I say goes. If there is a decision to be made, I make it. If there is a question to be answered, I answer it, and if I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it. If, for any reason you think, suspect, or have thought, that you may not be able to jump when I say jump, now is the time to speak up. If between now and the time that the transfer actually takes place, I feel, for any reason, that your presence will hinder the success of this mission in any way, I will not hesitate to leave you behind.”

Pausing again to gauge everyone’s reactions, Anakin was interested to find that the person most intrigued by his speech so far was Mara, and the one most dismayed was Luke. He doubted his uncle had ever laid down the law like this before a mission; his pre-briefs had likely all consisted of ‘okay guys, lets go get the baddies’. He was probably being slightly unfair, but he was feeling woefully under prepared and since Luke was his Master, he found himself fighting an internal battle to not find a little fault there.

Focusing again on the group, he continued, “I want you to look around at what you see, who you see. Not your friends, but your fellow Jedi, and I want you to think about this; we may not all be coming home. When we are out there alone, with no back up, and no hope of anyone swooping in to rescue us, if someone questions my authority, or causes us to stop and debate an action, the chances of one of us falling increases. Every time we waver, or falter, we up the odds of failure. So I ask again; do you trust me? Do you trust my judgment and ability to lead this mission?”

The room was tense and deathly silent, and Anakin felt, thankfully, that what he was saying, the points he was trying to make, were beginning to sink in.

“You may not always agree with or understand my orders, you don’t have to. Your responsibility, your only responsibility is to follow.

“I may make mistakes, although I highly doubt it.” This brought a nervous laugh and he smiled, knowing he had to sound more like his father than ever. “But the question isn’t whether I will make a mistake, the question is whether you are able to put your egos aside and do as you are told.

“Here is another issue that you need to get straight in your heads and in your hearts: I had Tahiri explain in graphic detail the conditions we will likely find on the World Ship for a very specific reason; you can not be so shocked by what you see that you are unable to perform your job. There will be slaves and prisoners of war all around us, there may even be other Force sensitives held specifically for the purpose of training the Voxyn. There will be thousands of beings who could benefit greatly from our help.

“We will not be giving it to them.

“We can’t. There are seventeen of us, seventeen of us who are relying on our brains, luck and the Force to get through the next two weeks alive.

“If we manage that, then we will be able to rescue others, we will be able to fight the Vong in other places, in other ways, without the fear of the Voxyn stalking us. If we fail in this mission, not only will we be of no use to those aboard that World Ship, but we’ll be of no use to the rest of the beings of this galaxy. We won’t be around to guide or to lead or to fight. We won’t be around to help anyone.

“If we focus, if we use the meld wisely, if we are in harmony with the Force and with each other, we can do this. If we aren’t, if we squabble and allow petty differences and distrust to rule our actions, we will fail, we will die, and the Voxyn will continue to hunt the people we love.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin was shoving the last of his things into a duffle bag to store on the Falcon when he felt Tahiri coming down the hall, then heard his door hiss open and her slip into his room.

She’d been quiet since this afternoon, since before Older Tahiri had left. At first he thought she was sad that the other woman was leaving, knowing that once she was gone it was only a matter of hours before she would die. But as the day, and then the evening had worn on he’d realized that something else was going on, she wasn’t just ‘quiet’, she was quiet in the Force, quiet in their bond.

Turning around and sitting on the edge of the bed, he held his arms out to her and she slipped between his knees, hugging his head to her chest. She stroked his hair, kissed the top of his head, and then pulled back and looked down at him, a small sad smile on her lips. She cupped his face and ran her thumbs over his cheekbones.

“Tell me.” He said it softly, but with every expectation of being answered immediately.

She nodded and began to cry silently, then whispered, “I’m so sorry, Anakin. I don’t know how it happened.” He watched as she took his hand from where it rested on her hip and placed it low on her abdomen and opened back up to him. She reached out through their bond and guided him in, showing him what she couldn’t bring herself to say out loud.

He looked back up, speechless with shock. They stared at each other for a long moment before Tahiri finally sniffed and began to explain.

“She told me this afternoon. She didn’t realize until the morning of the transfer. She didn’t tell her Anakin, she was afraid it would distract him, she was afraid… of everything. And she’s always regretted not telling him.”

Closing his eyes, he let his shoulders sink forward, and rested the crown of his head against Tahiri’s stomach. “There is no right or wrong choice, only the one you can live with,” he echoed, remembering Older Tahiri’s cryptic comment from earlier. He took a deep breath and looked back up. “Thank you for telling me.”

“How could I not?” She whispered through more tears.

“She didn’t.”

“I’d like to think I’ve gained some wisdom through her mistakes.”

“You obviously have. I think we both have.” After a moment he worked up the nerve to ask; “What happened to their baby?”

Tahiri wiped the tears from her cheeks, she’d cried more in the last four days than in the rest of the years he’d known her combined. “She miscarried on Borealis. With everything else going on, no one noticed.”

No one noticed.

The words sank like a chunk of duracrete to the pit of his stomach as they continued to stare at each other. Finally, Anakin scooted over on the bed, and pulled Tahiri down to lie next to him, then he slid down her body, pushed up her shirt, and rested his head over where their child lay.

“He’s so small, but so bright.”

“I know; he’s tiny. I guess that’s why she didn’t feel him until after they left.”

“And that’s why she kept closing herself off to the meld when they were trying to break her.”

“Yeah. She said that she thought the only reason he didn’t pick up on it was that he was so distracted, but in the meld, if she lost control or let herself slip… she was afraid of what her Anakin would do if he felt him.”

Anakin pushed the all too familiar image of Tahiri being held under a Voxyn out of his mind. Imaginary or not, it had been haunting him for days, but now…

Scooting back up so he could look into her eyes, he placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her face, but she refused to meet his gaze.

“Tahiri…”

“Don’t say it.”

“You can’t go with me.”

“I know.” She sobbed out.

He held her to him, stroking her hair, letting her pour out all her fear and frustration, knowing he could do nothing to help her but hold her. Knowing he could only hold her for a few more hours.

When she could finally speak again she asked, “What are we going to do?” Anakin didn’t answer right away so she continued; “of all the times for you to be quiet, this is not a good one. I need you to talk to me.”

“Well,” he began, “it’s not like we weren’t already going to do this, we’re just on an accelerated schedule now.”

“Accelerated schedule?” she barked out.

“Hey; you’re the one who wanted an answer right away. If you’d given me a minute I might have had time to come up with something better.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” After a moment he tried again. “Okay, look at me and I’ll tell you what we’re going to do.” She did as he said, and he kissed her nose, then wiped her tears away. “You are going to stay here and keep our son safe, because it might have been the strain of the mission that caused her to lose her baby. I’m going to go and get rid of this kriffing voxyn, and then I’m going to come back and we’re going to get married, in a way that is acceptable to both you and my family, just like we planned, and we’re going to live happily ever after.”

“Says the son of a princess.”

“That wasn’t the right answer either?”

“Sweet, just not very practical. There’s a galactic war going on. I’ve religiously taken birth control meds, but I’m magically pregnant, and you’re talking about ‘accelerated schedules’ and unrealistic happy endings.”

“It’s the will of the Force? Hey… Will is a good name.”

Tahiri’s mouth fell open. “You’re Space Happy.”

“I’m in love.”

Throwing Anakin’s arm off of her waist, Tahiri stood up in frustration and began to pace in front of the bed. She stopped as he sat up, then grabbed her head, running her fingers through her hair and squeezing, as though she thought she could dig into her own brain and pull the answers she was looking for out of there. She finally gave up, and moaned before looking Anakin in the eye again.

“You may have cracked under the strain of preparing for a mission you may not come back from and I’ve never been so scared in my life. Will you please tell me what we’re really going to do.”

“We are going to have a baby.”

“Yes, Anakin, we’ve covered that part.”

“Need I remind you that…”

“Oh brother,” Tahiri sighed, dropping her hands to her hips and rolling her eyes. “Why should tonight be any different than the last few hundred?”

Anakin chuckled before continuing, “that mutual agreement of two participants over the age of fourteen is all that is required for legality of matrimony in forty-two percent of New Republic star systems, my darling wife.”

“That’s very cute and romantic when you’re trying to get my clothes off,” Anakin bit down on his lower lip to hold in his laughter, but any humor he felt wilted when Tahiri glared at him. “But,” she continued, a fair amount of venom in her voice, “since your family doesn't come from any of those forty-two percent they aren’t going to agree and still doesn’t answer my question. And I like that you’ve already chosen his name, my adored husband.”

“Technicality. And what’s wrong with Will Solo?”

“If we really believed that it was just a matter of a technicality we wouldn’t be maintaining the innocent boyfriend-girlfriend façade for your family. They’re going to hate me for doing this to you. And there’s nothing wrong with Will, I’d just like to have been consulted in the decision. And why isn’t Veila in there?”

“What’s important is that we believe it. Will Veila Solo…” he mused. “That’s a lot of L’s but if it makes you happy, I’m good. And they will not hate you. They may be upset in the beginning…” At her look he amended that comment. “Okay, they’ll go nova, but what difference does it make? What are they going to do? Ground me? Put me on curfew? Take my X-wing away? I can only fight in space battles before evening meal, and with no more than two hundred coral skippers? Forbid me from spending time in your room? That’d be like closing the hangar door after the squadron’s broken atmosphere. Of course, my punishment wouldn’t be instituted until after I’m back from commanding a mission behind enemy lines.”

Tahiri stared at Anakin. She was probably in shock, that may have been the most words he’d said in a row in all the years that she’d known him. And he wasn’t even done.

“The point is they’ll get over it eventually, and in the end they will love our son and they will forgive us, and they are all well versed enough in biology to know that you didn’t do anything to me, or at least not anything I didn’t really, really want you to do.”

“Not funny.” As the words came out of her mouth, a pillow flew from the end of the bed and hit Anakin in the side of the head.

Suddenly feeling a spike of anger, Anakin stood up and marched the few steps over to her, their height difference forcing Tahiri to lift her chin to continue glaring at him.

“Alright, you want me to be serious?” He whisper-yelled.

“It’s about time,” she spit back.

“Fine. I’m leaving on a supremely frakked up mission in less than 9 hours and as much as I didn’t want you to go, I hate that I have to leave you behind, and the reason I have to leave you behind is because I need you to keep yourself safe because you’re carrying my child. I’m going to have to tell my parents that I’m going to be a father, and I’m not going to be able to spend the next couple of weeks with the woman I love while she, and I, deal with the fact that we are going to be parents, years earlier than we planned, during a galactic war against an enemy that is bent on our annihilation, and I’m more frightened than I’ve ever been in my life. Is that serious enough for you Tahiri?”

Tahiri closed her eyes and nodded miserably. “Yeah.”

Anakin sighed and muttered yet another expletive under his breath, then pulled her back over to the bed. They landed in a heap on the mattress, Anakin wrapping his arms and legs around her, pulling her tight against his body, cocooning her with his limbs, protecting her and their baby in the only way he could for the moment.

“Do you trust me?”

Tahiri inhaled sharply, and looked up at him. “Of course.”

“Have I ever been wrong.”

This time she arched an eyebrow at him. “You’ve come horrifyingly close more times than I can count.”

“But never actually been wrong.”

“What’s your point?”

“We’ll be okay.” He said gently.

Tahiri looked at him suspiciously for a moment, but finally nodded then tucked her head back under his chin.

“You have to keep him safe while I’m gone.”

“I know.”

“And when I get home we’ll figure out what we’re really going to do, but right now, I have to adjust to the fact that I’m leaving alone in the morning and I need to hold you.”

“Okay.”

They lay still and quiet for a long time, open to each other in the Force, basking in the comfort they both felt there until Tahiri broke the silence.

“Anakin?” she whispered.

“Yeah?”

“What if it wasn’t the mission that caused her to lose the baby?”

Anakin pressed his lips to her forehead again, hoping that the action would distract her from the fact that he wasn’t actually responding to her question, because he had thought about that already but hadn’t come up with an answer. In truth, he knew next to nothing about human gestation and, despite his earlier statement, couldn’t begin to guess whether or not the mission had anything to do with why Older Tahiri had lost her baby, but as soon as he’d felt his son an instinctual urge to protect him, and his current place of residence, had risen in Anakin hard and fast. He’d been searching from the start of the mission planning, in a very conflicted sort of way, for a reason to leave Tahiri behind and this seemed like as good a reason as any, so he’d gone with it. The fact that she hadn’t fought him on it told him that they were making the right choice; not just the one they could both live with.

But that still didn’t tell him how to answer her. Uncharacteristically, she let it drop, and Anakin was way too smart, and way too well versed in Tahiri, to question his good fortune.

“You know,” she whispered, “if you had asked me this morning what the last thing in the galaxy I wanted right now was, a baby would have been pretty close to the top of the list and I’ve only known about him for a few hours, but I’m already terrified of losing him.”

“I know. And as Luke-ish as this sounds…” Tahiri’s giggle made Anakin’s chest swell, relieving some of the pressure that had begun to build the second he’d felt the tiny glow inside her and realized what it was, what it meant. He buried his nose in her hair, breathing her in, memorizing the smell of her, painfully aware that they were about to be apart for longer than they had been since before her capture.

“As Luke-ish as this sounds…” he finally continued though quieter this time, “all we can do right now is trust in the Force.”

“Hmmm. You’re right. And it probably seems ridiculous, but I’m already having fantasies about what he’ll be like.”

“That’s funny, I’m having fantasies about little plastaseel hydrospanners and remote control x-wings.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“Because you know me so well.” Anakin paused; then grew serious again. “You’re young and healthy and you’re not going to be put through what she was, there is no reason to think that the same thing will happen.”

Tahiri didn’t answer, just nodded her head into his neck and sniffed. A few more minutes passed before she asked, “Anakin?”

“Yes, my love.”

“Please, please, come back to us.”

“I will. I promise, I will come back to you.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 5
If You Could Only See The Way She Loves Me
(Then Maybe You Would Understand)

28 ABY
Eclipse Station, Deep Core

Anakin and Tahiri stood in the hallway leading out to the hangar in silence, hands clasped tightly together. They’d watched the other team members say goodbye to Luke and Mara and Anakin’s parents, had watched the other masters leave to go back to their work, had felt everyone wonder where they were.

Anakin had used his commlink moments earlier to notify Luke that the others should board, and that he would be along in a moment. His uncle had been in mid sentence, asking what was going on, when Anakin had cut the transmission and wrapped his arms back around Tahiri.

They’d been up all night, had said everything they could say, had held each other until the very last moment they felt they could get away with, and now here they were; seconds away from saying goodbye.

Anakin took a deep breath, squeezed Tahiri’s hand, it felt so small in his, and took the first step into the hangar, pulling her along behind him.

Mara turned around first, her movement alerting the others to his arrival.

“There you are.” Lando greeted. “I was beginning to think you’d changed your mind.”

“I wish.” Han muttered, and Leia leveled him with a sharp look.

“Sorry.” Anakin offered, but didn’t elaborate.

Releasing Tahiri’s hand, he hugged Luke, and kissed Mara’s cheek, but didn’t say anything to either one of them; he’d already said it all.

Moving to his parents, he wrapped his mother in a tight hug.

She reached up and brushed a hand over his hair, he felt like a lot of people were touching his hair lately, and said; “Be careful, Anakin. You and the twins need to keep each other safe.”

It dawned on him that she hadn’t mentioned Tahiri, and that no one had commented on her lack of bags, or that she wasn’t saying good-bye to anyone, but now wasn’t the time to take his mother to task for thinking only of her own children.

“We will mom. I love you.”

“I love you too. This is going to be hard, but what you said last night was wonderful and strong, you’re a natural leader. You’re going to do a great job. I know it.”

Feeling suddenly self-conscious at the praise, he ducked his head and moved over to his dad.

Han, as he often used to do during emotional situations, before Chewie, got suddenly very affectionate, and pulled Anakin into a firm hug, then pushed him away and held his shoulders tightly.

“It’s not too late to back out, kid.”

A stifled sob from Tahiri, standing slightly away from the rest, caused the whole group to jump slightly, and it was only after her whispered, ‘sorry’ that everyone turned back to father and son.

Han grabbed Anakin’s attention again and continued. “I’m proud of you, and I have faith in you. And I’ll see you soon.”

Anakin nodded, and looked deeply into his father’s eyes, could tell by the change in his expression that Han recognized that something was going on, caught the flicker of his father’s gaze toward Tahiri and then back to him. Anakin took a breath to steady his nerves and very quietly, but with the force of all the emotion he felt for Tahiri said, “Take care of her, please, until I get back.”

Han Solo was not a dumb man, and his son knew that. Anakin read the understanding on his father’s face; read that his father knew what this was doing to him, and knew that Han would do as he asked.

Nodding solemnly, he said, “I promise.”

“Thank you, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you too, son.”

As Anakin turned back toward where Tahiri stood, he felt the equivalent of light bulbs finally begin to go on in the Force. His aunt and uncle were beginning to realize; mentally circling what Han had already figured out, but were not quite there. It was no wonder his father had been able to keep up with his all Jedi family so easily for thirty years, despite having no ability to touch the Force himself.

His mother was apparently going to need it spelled out for her.

With a slight tilt of his head, Anakin beckoned Tahiri forward, and wrapped her in another hug. He cradled her head to his chest and closed his eyes as he wished away the agony, then looked over the blonde curls at Luke.

“Tahiri’s presence will hinder the success of this mission.” He wasn’t sure how he made his voice sound so clear and steady. “She’s staying behind.”

Tahiri began to cry earnestly into Anakin’s chest as shock rippled through the Force. Not only were Luke and Mara and his mother stunned by what he’d just said, but Lando stood gaping, as did several of the team members who had come back down the boarding ramp, likely to see what the hold up was, just in time to hear Anakin’s announcement. If not for Tahiri’s labored breathing, Anakin suspected that he’d have been able to hear a pin hit the hangar floor. Reaching out to her in their bond, he tried to soothe her, at least enough so he could say goodbye without falling apart himself, tried not to think about the fact that these could be the final seconds he ever shared with her.

Turning his head enough to know that he had Jaina, Tesar and Lowie’s attention, he barked, “Get back on board, we leave in five.”

All three scurried up the ramp, and Anakin suspected that as difficult as this was, his ‘decision’ to leave Tahiri at Eclipse would go a long way in proving how serious he was about being listened to. It might even help save both their lives.

Pulling on the Force to steady his emotions, to prepare himself to see the pain and fear in her eyes, Anakin leaned back and cupped Tahiri’s face, bringing her mouth up to meet his. He brushed his lips against hers gently, then felt her hands slide up his chest, slip around his neck, and wind up to the back of his head, pulling him down forcefully, and he almost forgot that his parents were behind her, but then decided he didn’t care. So what if they’d rarely seen him and Tahiri so much as hold hands, so what if they had no idea what was really going on? Why should he let that stop him from kissing her goodbye, really kissing her goodbye?

The need for air, and not any desire to appease his apoplectic mother, forced him to pull away far enough to move his lips to her forehead, then he tucked her hair behind her ears and bent his knees enough for them to be eye level and quietly said, “I have to go.”

Tahiri nodded and slid her hands back down, nervously pulling on the zipper of Anakin’s flightsuit.

“You’re going to come back,” she whispered.

“I’m going to come back,” he whispered in return.

“And we’re going to be okay.”

“And we’re going to be okay.”

Anakin leaned in and kissed her again, and smiled against her lips when he felt the reaction from his mother, and then the reaction from his father; apparently dad was feeling somewhat proud. Mom… not so much.

Straightening back up and stepping away slowly, Anakin pulled Tahiri’s hand up to his mouth and kissed her palm. Suddenly, covering every inch of her that he could reach with his mouth didn’t seem like a bad idea.

“I love you.”

More ripples in the Force.

Really? Anakin thought. With a kiss like that, they didn’t see that coming?

“I love you too, Anakin.” She answered, and then mouthed, “may the Force be with you.”

Anakin closed his eyes, pushed his pain aside, and reached out and touched their son - briefly, lightly, nothing that anyone but her would feel, then shook his head slightly, turned around, and marched toward the boarding ramp.

When he was half way up she called out his name, trying, he could tell, to hide the desperation in her voice.

Ducking back down, Anakin leaned out, giving her a questioning look.

“Forty-two,” she called out.

A broad grin spread across his face, making Tahiri gasp in pleasure, and he could tell she was glad that she’d made the small gesture. Glad that she hadn’t made Older Tahiri’s mistake.

“Forty-two, my love, forty-two.”

He felt the waves of agony wash over Tahiri as the thrusters on the Lady Luck engaged, felt her physical pain as the vessel lifted off the ground.

Making his way to the nearest viewport, he watched as his father stepped to Tahiri’s side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, lowering his mouth to her ear and whispering, and he prayed that his father wouldn’t break his promise.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Solo Family Tent, Refugee Camp, Hapes
4 Days after the Fall of Coruscant

Tahiri sat on a cot in the corner of the tent, propped up against the canvas wall, knees drawn up to her chest.

She was listening to Jaina and Jacen tearfully recount the mission for Anakin’s parents. For his aunt and uncle.

Again.

So many things had gone right this time, different from Older Tahiri’s time.

They had altered so much with their actions.

It wasn’t Ulaha who had taken the coufee in the back during the transfer, it had been Tesar, and he’d walked it off.

It hadn’t been Eryl who had taken the thud bug in the face, it had been Jovan, Eryl was somewhere in the refugee encampment with the other survivors.

There were a lot more survivors this time. Anakin had been an excellent leader.

He had held the group together, through the pain and the fear, through the uncertainty and fatigue.

They had felt Lomi and Welk early on, and Anakin had made a few of them, Zekk included, concentrate on the calls until he recognized his former Shadow Academy class mate, then the team had steered clear.

They’d landed closer to the Tachyon Flier this time, Anakin having claimed that he ‘had a feeling’ about it as they were heading in. Since it was well known that Anakin could ‘feel’ machinery, no one questioned him. They’d reached the craft on the morning of their second day on the worldship and Anakin had assigned Jaina, Lowie and Zekk the task of making it space worthy. It had kept them out of the fight for a while, but ultimately, Anakin had said, they were doing what was needed for the good of the team.

In a moment that Jaina and Jacen described in halting wonderment and confusion, they hadn’t understood it then, and never would, Anakin had leapt across three team members, tackled Alema, pinned her to the ground with his elbow to her chest and, using her longblaster, which was still attached to the strap slung around her body, blew Vergere to a puff of feathers.

Anakin’s actions stunned the entire team, none more so than Alema, and his exuberance was lost on everyone, but when, hours later, he was able to point to the pattern of tracking behavior by Nom Anor and the warriors when they had Vergere with them, compared to after, they had all seen that they were having a much easier time of it after.

No one understood why, but once again, Anakin was a genius.

Day three on the worldship was rough. They were tired, they were hungry, and Nom Anor was well aware of what they were after. They’d been taking shifts playing hide and seek with warriors, and taking pot shots at the damutek for nearly twenty hours. They knew they had succeeded in taking out the majority of the cloning samples but the queen was being moved.

On day four Anakin took Ganner, Jacen, Tesar, Tenal Ka, Alema, Bela, Kasov, and Tekli with him on the final hunt for the queen. Jaina, Zekk, Lowie, Eryl, Ulaha, and Raynar were left to defend the Flier, to be ready to go when the time came, come and get them if necessary.

After hours of recon, Tesar and ‘the girls’, as Anakin called the Hara Sisters, came back to the hole the group was calling home to tell Anakin that they’d found the Queen’s new location. It was only an hour’s walk away.

Anakin had a plan within minutes. Bela, Kasov, Tenel Ka and Tekli would head back to the ship, update Jaina and let her know where they were headed. Tesar would lead him, Jacen, Alema, and Ganner to the Queen; they’d take the building, kill the queen, up close and personal, no guessing, no ‘hoping’, and then get out. He’d assess the situation and decide whether they’d run back to the ship, or have Jaina pick them up.

It hadn’t been difficult, Jacen said. The queen was surprisingly lightly guarded. Anakin was suspicious, but wanted to get the job done and get out. It had taken less than an hour.

The coast seemed clear, so rather than alert the Vong to their location, Anakin decided they’d run to the ship, get as far as they could, only have Jaina take off if she had too. They were almost there, they were less than a kilometer away, when they crested a dune and a wall of warriors came rushing up to meet them. They were outnumbered, way outnumbered.

“It might have been the only mistake Anakin made the whole time; not having Jaina pick us up.” Jacen said.

Tahiri’s head lolled back, and try as she might, she couldn’t hold in the moan that escaped her. Jacen stopped talking and she vaguely thought that if that was all it was going to take, she’d moan all day, but then she heard his voice again, knew what was coming,

“We fought them off, a lot of them. But they kept coming. Somehow Anakin managed to comm Jaina, and she got there pretty quick. Zekk and Bela were on the guns and took out a bunch of the warriors, and we finally got close enough to the ship for Alema and Ganner to get aboard. Then we lost Tesar.”

Tahiri heard Jacen’s voice hitch, heard Leia’s sob and the muffled sound of Han’s voice. It all sounded like it was being filtered through cloth. The worst was coming, and she wanted to close out the sounds, but even when she put her hands to her ears, it still came, so she didn’t bother this time, just pulled her knees in closer, pulled her arms tighter across her shins.

“There were only three more. I was fighting one, and Anakin was fighting two.”

“Overachiever.” Mara whispered, and Tahiri sensed pride in her throaty chuckle.

They were such a warped family.

“One of his fell.”

Now Jaina was sobbing, and it was Luke’s muffled noises of comfort that Tahiri heard.

“I managed to kill the one on me, and turned back to Anakin, but he yelled at me to get on the ship. His back was to me, and I thought he was good, the warrior was covered in blood, and Anakin had taken one of his arms already. I thought… I thought he was a second away from finishing up. I jumped up the ramp, Jaina was hovering, the ground was so rocky, and there were pits everywhere, she couldn’t set the ship down. Then the ship bucked, Alema and Zekk were firing into the air, coralskippers were coming towards us. And I fell, and when I looked up, the ship was twenty meters away.

“I got up, and ran. I thought Anakin must have already gotten there, and I jumped back up the ramp. But another coralskipper shot at us, and Jaina had to move farther away from where we were to avoid the plasma fire. She banked back toward where we told her Anakin was, and when we got there he was gone. We were screaming for him, but I couldn’t see him. And then there were coralskippers everywhere.

“We tried to get him on the comm but he didn’t answer. And we couldn’t feel him. It was like he was there, but fuzzy, and then we couldn’t feel him at all.”

Tahiri began to rock, she thought she was crying, but she wasn’t sure. She had cried so much already and she couldn’t tell anymore when some tears stopped and others began. Couldn’t tell how much time passed between when her eyes were dry and when her cheeks were wet.

She was going to hear him tell her again how they left him.

She was going to hear him tell her again that they did the right thing for the team.

She was going to hear him tell her again that they did what Anakin would have wanted them to do.

And he was wrong.

Anakin had wanted to come home to her.

After all they had done; after all that they had changed; Anakin was still gone.

Tahiri suddenly realized that she was staring into Jacen’s eyes. She hadn’t been crying after all. She hadn’t made any noise that she could remember, but she also couldn’t remember how she had gotten from the cot, where she’d been curled in a ball, to standing in front of Anakin’s brother; the brother Anakin had fought so hard to save.

Before she registered the command going from her brain to her hand, Tahiri slapped Jacen, the sound loud and thick. All the air seemed to be sucked out of the little refugee tent, the rest of Anakin’s family almost as stunned as his stooped over brother.

Tahiri waited for Jacen to stand back upright, waited for him to look her in the eye again, before she spit out; “He would never have left you.”

It was Jaina who came to Jacen’s defense, typical, no doubt feeling guilty, as she should, for having piloted the ship that Anakin was supposed to have been on.

“Leave him alone. You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Jaina yelled.

“I know exactly what I’m talking about because I know Anakin.” Tahiri yelled back.

“You don’t know what it was like, you weren’t there. You wouldn’t have been able to handle what we went through and Anakin knew that, or he wouldn’t have left you behind.”

Tahiri gasped, and then a hysterical giggle escaped her, and she covered her mouth. In the three days since the team had been back, since she’d been told that Anakin was gone, she’d hardly thought about Will - had pushed thoughts of him aside because it was too hard to live in denial of what she was being told and face the reality of what she was going to have to do alone at the same time. But now, she allowed the feel of her son to flood through her, embraced him with her mind, apologized for neglecting him, then a small sigh escaped her.

“Is that what you think?” She recognized the nearly serene note in her voice, and giggled again. The looks on the faces around her were priceless; they clearly thought she’d just broken. She nodded slightly, and sniffed, then went on. “When Anakin said I would be a hindrance to the success of the mission, it wasn’t because he thought I couldn’t handle the job, it was because he was afraid he would be too distracted by me to do his own.”

Tahiri closed her eyes again, felt herself sway slightly, she couldn’t look at any of them when she said it, didn’t want to see their faces, didn’t care what their reactions were. She just wanted to say it and get it over with and get as far away from these people as she could; go back to looking for Anakin in the Force, because if she was left alone, and could concentrate, she knew she’d be able to feel him again.

“He was worried that he’d be distracted by trying to keep me safe because I’m pregnant.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 6
Monsters and Angels

28 ABY
Solo Family Tent, Refugee Camp, Hapes
4 Days after the fall of Coruscant

Tahiri wanted to sneak back inside the tent, get her things, and leave again, had actually attempted tiptoeing, but she knew it was futile. Two of the four people she was trying to avoid were Jedi Masters after all.

“Tahiri, will you please join us?” came Mara’s strained request before she’d made it a meter.

Letting her shoulders sag and her chin drop to her chest, she murmured, “kriff.” Then louder, and more formally, “Of course.”

She hadn’t looked at any of them after she’d told them she was pregnant, had instead turned around, walked out of the tent and lost herself in the sea of misery outside. She’d allowed all the fear and frustration and grief and anger from the thousands surrounding her to flood her senses, welcomed it, called it in to drown out her own emotions. She could handle their pain because it wasn’t her own.

She had wandered aimlessly, for who knows how long, through the mud and garbage and debris created by too many beings confined to too small an area, until she’d found a rock on the outskirts of the settlement, right near the fence that bordered the camp, then she’d sat down, crossed her legs, and reached out for Anakin.

She’d searched for hours, called to him through their bond in the Force, tried to feel him in that place inside of her that had belonged to only him for so many years; but he wasn’t there. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard she focused; she couldn’t find him.

Finally, exhausted, she gave up, resolved to try again after she’d collected her things from the Solos tent, found a place to rest and had gotten some sleep.

She figured that, technically, she was a refugee, and was therefore entitled to all that the other refugees were entitled to; food, shelter, and clothing. She didn’t need to depend on Anakin’s family, didn’t need to burden people who did not want her and did not want to indulge her insistence that their son wasn’t dead. She had no idea yet how she would support herself beyond this week; could hardly bear to think of how she would support Anakin’s son, but she had time, she would think of something. The prospect was daunting, but she would think of something.

First things first though; she had to actually get away from Anakin's family.

Turning toward the sound of Mara’s voice, Tahiri walked the few steps to the flap that divided the two front rooms of the tent, pushed it aside and found the Skywalkers and the Solos sitting around the table that she’d left them at.

“Please, have a seat, you look exhausted.” As always, Luke was courteous, and Tahiri almost felt sorry for him, knowing, both from what she’d seen over the last few days, and from what Older Tahiri had told her, that he carried a huge burden of guilt over the Myrkr ‘disaster’.

Tahiri nodded her head and sat in the chair closest to Han, briefly glancing at Leia. Anakin’s mother’s eyes were slightly red, nothing that anyone who didn’t know her would notice, and Tahiri couldn’t tell if it was caused by fatigue or crying.

It was eerily quiet, but Tahiri had no interest in starting conversation; if they had questions, let them ask, she’d share what she felt comfortable with, then she’d get the hell out of there and get on with her life.

As always, it was Mara who jumped right in; “Anakin knew?”

There could only be one thing she was referring to, so Tahiri nodded, tears again, Force, would it ever stop? “I realized the night before he left,” she admitted quietly.

“That’s why Anakin…” Han paused, even saying his son’s name seemed difficult. “Why you didn’t go?”

Tahiri nodded again; “We decided it would be safer for both of us. I was afraid his worry for me would make it hard for him to focus, and he was afraid the strain of the mission would be bad for Will.”

“Will?” Luke, Mara and Leia all asked in unison.

Tahiri closed her eyes as another wave of pain washed over her. She had begun to wonder if this would be her permit state of existence; waves of discomfort, of varying degrees, rolling down her body, abusing her senses, for the rest of her life.

“Umm… Anakin, when I told him, he said that his existence was the will of the Force, and that Will would be a good name, started calling him Will immediately.”

Leia snorted gently, evidently not impressed with her son’s reasoning, and it dawned on Tahiri that of course she wouldn’t understand his reasoning.

“I know what you’re thinking…”

“Do you?” Leia snapped, bitterly.

Tahiri drew on the Force for calm, she had to be calm, Anakin would not want her arguing with his mother. For his sake she wouldn’t lose her temper - they had spent so much time after Yavin working on both of their tempers, and their tendency to jump into things without thinking.

“We weren’t being irresponsible.” She wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek. “He teased me that the Shapers must have implanted a fanatical devotion to Ovulation Suppression Meds along with the language and culture. I never missed a med shot.”

She felt the discomfort radiating off of the four of them, and suddenly the idea of the mechanics of the situation, and their reaction to it, seemed ridiculous. All of these people had children, they all knew what was required to do so, why was this so hard?

“How far?” Mara asked, interrupting her mental query.

It took Tahiri a moment to switch gears and figure out what she was talking about, and a moment more to remember that she shouldn’t know. Older Tahiri hadn’t been to a healer until she was suffering from cramps that were the beginning of her miscarriage and it was the 2-1B that informed her that she was ten weeks into her pregnancy when it ended so she shook her head slightly and said; “I’m not sure.”

“Not forty-two days?” Luke asked.

Tahiri looked at him, baffled for a moment, then realization hit, and she laughed out loud, then laughed again knowing that Anakin would have found that hilarious. Her mouth opened but no words came out for a moment, then she felt herself telling them and basked in the liberation of not having to pretend.

“Anakin said we were married.”

“What?” Leia half shriek, and stood up so fast her chair toppled over.

Han grabbed her arm and tried to shush her, but Tahiri was already talking again, directing her explanation at Mara, who was the only one looking at her, though slack jawed, so Tahiri wasn’t sure if she was actually getting it.

“Anakin claimed he was researching fighter specs on the holo-net when he came across this statistic, I never believed him, I think he was actually looking for information on marriage licenses, but according to him,” here, Tahiri affected a fair impression of Anakin’s voice, “the mutual agreement of two participants over the age of fourteen is all that is required for legality of matrimony in forty-two percent of New Republic star systems.” She sniffed through a slight laugh and rubbed the back of a finger under each eye before quietly adding, “he used to recite it to me every night before bed.”

Everyone was quiet for a while, but Tahiri was too smart to believe that she was anywhere close to getting away. And again, she had felt the discomfort rise when she said the words ‘before bed’. She wanted to shout, ‘get over it people’ but instead just shook her head and remembered Anakin’s quip about the hangar doors closing after the squadron had broken atmosphere.

Oh, Anakin… you were supposed to be here for this.

“Very romantic notion,” Leia said, again, unimpressed, “but I don’t care if my son said it, it means nothing.”

“It meant something to us,” Tahiri whispered. “And it was the last thing…” No. It wasn’t the last thing he ever said to her; she didn’t care what his family kept insisting, he would say other things to her. “It was the last thing he said to me before he left.”

Anakin’s father, aunt and uncle all three collapsed back into their chairs simultaneously, and Tahiri waited for the next question, the next obstacle she’d have to hurdle before she could go. But without realizing she was going to do it, she was talking again.

“I know that a lot of people thought that I bossed him around, and that he was the quiet one and I did all the talking, but the truth was that when something mattered to him, he got his way, and this mattered to him. When anything important needed to be done or decided, Anakin…he just knew, and I trust him, and I believe in him, and he always makes things right, keeps me safe, finds a way to make things better.”

“And how exactly was Anakin planning on making things better here? Having a baby in the middle of a war is just stupid.” Leia insisted.

Tahiri looked from Leia to Mara, saw the arch in Mara’s eyebrow, looked at Han as he covered his mouth with his hand and rubbed his fingers over his lips, seemingly waiting to see how his wife was going to talk her way out of this one.

“Obviously,” she said more to Luke than Mara, “it was different for you.” Then, pinning Tahiri with another glare, she waited for an answer.

“I admit, we didn’t know yet, and we were scared, and he was not looking forward to telling you, and I’m still scared, and don’t know what I’m going to do yet. Does my saying all of this make you happy? Does it make you feel better to know that I’ve never been so terrified?”

Tahiri hoped that they’d find it in themselves to have some compassion; for Anakin’s son if not for her. Instead, everyone remained silent for a while, until Luke, feeling the need to fill the air no doubt, appeared to need a brief.

“Okay, so you’re pregnant with Anakin’s baby, and he knew that before he left, and now he’s… dead, and you are going to be a single mother at sixteen.”

Tahiri rubbed her forehead, felt the ridges, wished she’d forgotten about her bag of meager possessions for the night and had found an empty cot to sleep in already.

“Technically,” she breathed, “I’ll be seventeen when Will is born. But in reality, we don’t actually know how old I am, so maybe I’ll be eighteen.” She was babbling now, having a hard time keeping her eyes open and her mouth shut, but didn’t care. “Sliven had no idea when my birthday was, in fact it was Anakin who made one up for me when we were kids.”

“When you were kids?” This time it was Han’s turn to sound incredulous, but there wasn’t the venom that Leia’s voice held, there was humor in it. And he called everyone ‘kid’, so it was different.

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” Tahiri asked, standing up, “because I’m exhausted and I still need to find a place to sleep.”

“What do you mean?” Han asked, confusion clear on his face.

“I mean, I came back to get my bag so I had some clean clothes and my ID chip, and I need to register with the Refugee Authorities in the morning.”

“Tahiri...” Luke sounded very masterly all of a sudden and the hair on the back of Tahiri’s neck stood up.

Things were about to get ugly; she could feel it.

“Yeah…”

“Technically, in most of the New Republic, you’re still a minor and a ward of the Jedi Order.”

Tahiri felt horror rise in her at the idea of Luke pulling rank on her like this. She was old enough to have been cleared to go on the Voxyn Mission, was older than Anakin had been when he’d fought in several battles, was older than Jaina when she’d joined Rogues, but now he was going to use her age against her. After she’d just pointed out that she may very well be older that they had always assumed? The hypocrisy was astounding, but she was so stupid to not see it coming.

“It’s really up to me, as the head of the Order, to determine where you go and under whose supervision you stay.”

Tahiri was too stunned to respond before Han weighed in.

“Now what are you thinking, Luke? Anakin was very specific. He asked me to take care of her until he got back, and I promised.”

Leia turned on her husband, “Well Anakin isn’t coming back so your obligation is over.”

“She’s having our grandchild.” He bit out at his wife.

“Did it occur to you that if she hadn’t told him she was having ‘our grandchild’ he wouldn’t have been so preoccupied that he got himself killed?”

Tahiri felt the room begin to spin, felt the same sense of unreality that she’d felt when she’d first been told Anakin was gone, saw the ceiling of the tent, then saw nothing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

29 ABY
Tahiri Veila’s Quarters
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya
14 Months after the Fall of Coruscant

Tahiri sat bolt upright; a sense of panic overwhelming her.

She felt for Will, thinking that he had been crying and she’d been sleeping through his yells, and then realized that there were no sounds coming from the nursery. She reached out to him, felt his contentment and smiled. He was dreaming of liquid she thought, amused; either bath time or nursing. It was nice to know that her efforts to keep him healthy and nurtured ranked so high up on his list of favorite activities.

Taking a deep breath, Tahiri lay back down, turning on her side and hugging a pillow to her chest. She had to sleep, had to rest, but sleep had been elusive lately. She had woken in the middle of the night more and more frequently lately with the same sense of fear and confusion and had no idea why.

Will was happy and healthy and growing as he should be; or so the MD-3 droid she saw way too often promised her.

Iella and Winter had suggested that she requisition one of her own to save herself the time of walking over to the med bay every other day to have Will examined again. She’d rolled her eyes and told them to go find someone to spy on.

She had gotten better.

During the first couple of months after Will’s birth she had been in the med center a lot; having Will checked to make sure he was gaining an adequate amount of weight, fearing her milk was lacking nutrients, fearing Will wasn’t getting enough, fearing she wasn’t feeding him right; fearing, fearing, fearing. When finally shown a chart and realizing that her son was bordering on the high end of healthy she relaxed and cut her visits down significantly, but still, Will’s hold-mothers gently teased.

Giving up on sleep, Tahiri turned on the light beside her bed and, propping herself up, pulled her datapad from where she’d left it beside her before she’d fallen asleep only a few hours ago. She had a meeting with Iella and three visiting Intel agents in the morning and thought maybe going over notes on what she would be presenting would bore her back to sleep.

She didn’t remember much of what happened over the first few weeks after she had fainted in the Solos tent on Hapes. She didn’t know how it was decided that she would go to Borealis with the Skywalkers, or the trip itself, she didn’t remember most of the time she spent there, but she did remember sitting in the mess one night and finding herself talking with the wife of General Antilles.

She did remember the kind woman who was a top ranking intelligence agent taking an interest in her time in captivity with the Yuuzhan Vong, and the fact that she had read the Strike Team member’s debriefings and was impressed with Tahiri’s contribution to the prep of the mission. She also remembered Iella seeking her out several days after the evacuation and asking Tahiri if she would consider tutoring some of her agents in the Yuuzhan Vong language.

Tahiri had agreed to the assignment because she had nothing better to do and still hadn’t figured out where she was going or how she was going to take care of Will, who, by that point, she had been assured by a med droid, was ‘growing adequately in-utero’. She had ended up enjoying the teaching, and had enjoyed sharing her knowledge, enjoyed knowing that she could turn what she had gone through into something positive.

Eventually, Iella offered her an actual job, she was given a salary and a title; Agent Tahiri Veila, and she formally resigned from the Jedi Order. She wasn’t entirely sure that her effort was necessary, and there was no reply to the transmission she sent the Skywalkers, though she assumed they received it.

Her first several assignments were planning sessions with teams preparing to infiltrate Yuuzhan Vong territory, the most notable team being the Wraiths. Tahiri loved working with the Wraiths and had likened the experiences to good preparation for parenthood.

Kell Tainer had once offered his services as a babysitter, to which Tahiri responded that the only thing more frightening than her being left alone with a baby was him being left alone with her baby. He failed to see the problem with an explosives junkie and an inconsolable Force-sensitive infant in the same room.

Face Loran had wondered if the power of one Force-wielding parent plus the power of a second Force-wielding parent made for a doubly powerful Force-wielding child, musing that from the intel he’d ‘gathered’ this particular child might really pack a punch. Tahiri had allowed the novices to debate the issue, to great amusement, until someone realized they were all about to miss evening meal, at which point the matter became moot and everyone scrambled out of the conference room.

She was only a couple months away from giving birth when she was assigned to spend time on Mon Calamari with Admiral Ackbar, giving him insight into the mindset of the enemy. Again, she enjoyed the assignment itself, but this time there was an added bonus; she was able to spend time with people who knew and loved Anakin as a child.

She spent as many hours listening to the aged Mon Cal and his caretaker, Winter Celchu, speak of Anakin as she did telling them about her ‘memories’ of Riina’s childhood. Of course she drew heavily on Older Tahiri’s knowledge, once again, but that didn’t make her information any less real, or, she would later find, any less valuable. She was eventually credited in a military report with offering some of the intel that helped turn the Admiral’s final battle plan into a decisive victory.

It was during Tahiri’s stay that the Admiral died.

After attending the funeral, she returned to the Lusankya. Winter was on the same shuttle flight. She had accepted a position working with Iella, her best friend, because it reunited her with her husband, Tycho Celchu, Iella’s husband Wedge Antilles’ own best friend, and second in command.

That was how Tahiri found herself surrounded by the people she now thought of as her family.

Seeing nothing but promise in Tahiri, Iella set about molding her into a force to be reckoned with; tapping into her natural talents, Jedi training, and implanted Vong knowledge, Iella had her translating, plotting, eavesdropping and advising within weeks of joining Intelligence.

Iella and Winter, having known each other for nearly thirty years, worked seamlessly together and taught Tahiri everything they could think of about the intelligence trade. Basically, Tahiri learned, it all boiled down to being really nosy, and having a good memory, both of which she was a natural at. Through long hours, hard work, and a confined working space, the two older women became the mothers Tahiri had never had, coddling her when no one else was around, making sure she was eating right, Iella teaching her about electronics and bugging devices, and sharing memories of her own pregnancies. Winter relaying stories of years as a deep undercover agent as well as her years as Anakin’s nanny.

It was Winter and Iella who held her hands through Will’s birth, and it was their husbands who were Will’s first visitors.

In a highly emotional post delivery moment, Tahiri asked the four, who had been so wonderful to her over the months, to be Will’s hold-parents. They’d all agreed instantly, and, once Tycho had secured a bottle of Whyren’s, because, as Tahiri was to eventually realize, where these people were concerned, one couldn’t do anything important without a bottle of whiskey present, Wedge had performed an impromptu ceremony in Tahiri’s med center room.

They each took turns holding Will and sipping at the whiskey cup, a sip for themselves, a sip for Will, a sip for Anakin, and a sip for Tahiri, and solemnly promised her son that they would look after him in good times and bad, that they would guide him, teach him, and see that he wanted for nothing; in memory of his father, for the peace of mind of his mother, and for love of him.

Naturally, Tahiri had cried, but she wasn’t the only one, Tycho was a mess too. In fact, the only one with dry eyes was Will.

Tahiri dropped the datapad back onto her lap, and stared out the viewport at the stars beyond.

A squadron of X-wings was whizzing back and forth in the distance, the lead putting them through grueling maneuvers. Beyond them lay Thisspias.

The planet didn’t mean much in terms of strategy or importance to the overall war effort; was merely a convenient place to pick up a material for the fleet and hang out while Wedge plotted his next move to push the Yuuzhan Vong farther back toward the edge of the galaxy, toward where they’d come from, but for some reason, since they’d arrived in system a few days ago, Tahiri had felt increasingly unbalanced, increasingly uncomfortable.

During a trip up to the bridge for Wedge and Tycho to see their favorite little pilot, Tahiri found herself staring at a massive three dimensional holodisplay of the galaxy and realized just how close to the Myrkr system they were and wondered if that was the reason for her unease, if it was because they were so close to where Anakin…

She could still barely bring herself to think it, had never actually said it out loud, and bless Iella and Winter and Tycho and Wedge for never making her. They’d all experienced horrific losses themselves; parents, spouses, planets... they’d all been through so much and they all seemed to understand what Anakin’s being gone had done to her. So instead of standing over her while she wept and demanding that she admit that the love of her life was never coming home, the way Leia had, they simply let her be, made her as comfortable as they could in her new life and gave her baby all the love he wasn’t getting from his father and his family.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7
Karma Police

29 ABY
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya
14 months after the Fall of Coruscant

Tahiri had wondered, several months ago, if she would ever stop crying.

Now she knew the answer.

She hadn’t cried this morning when Iella had come into her quarters, woken her up and told her that a report had come in of a ship found floating dead in space with one passenger on board. The young human male had been transported to a nearby medical frigate comatose, unresponsive to sound or light.

A DNA analysis had matched positive for Jedi Anakin Solo.

Tahiri had sat stunned and speechless for several seconds, the words ‘comatose’ and ‘unresponsive’ reverberating loudly in her head. Finally, she’d thrown the covers back, stood up and began to pepper Iella with questions; when was he found? Where was he?

"He was picked up about six hours ago; he’s on the Ralroost with the Second Fleet in the Halla Sector."

Had the family been notified?

"Yes, but she hadn’t been able to determine how long ago."

How fast could Tahiri get a shuttle and all the required yeses to get herself and Will where she needed to be?

"Tycho was working on it right now."

When did Iella find out?

"Less than an hour ago, we wanted to confirm the information before getting your hopes up."

Could Winter go with her… she’d need help with Will… she didn’t know how long she’d be gone… what about work?

"Winter was already packing and had notified procurement; baby supplies were being brought over from one of the storage crafts, they’d worry about work later, and Tahiri was to take as long as she needed."

Tahiri hadn’t cried when she’d hurriedly dressed and raced to her office. She hadn’t cried when she’d printed Anakin’s initial medical report, or when she’d seen the number of pages the report had required. She hadn’t cried when she’d issued the documentation placing Jedi Anakin Solo under arrest and turning his hospital room into a holding cell, making it a restricted area only open to medical personnel and the Galactic Alliance Intelligence officer assigned to work his case.

It was highly unlikely that the entire Solo family did not know that she was Iella Wessiri’s protégé, it was also highly unlikely that they wouldn’t realize instantly that she was the duracrete wall standing between them and Anakin, but she could hope. She had gone back and added an addendum to the warrant, a clause stating that prisoner 7598PF456 was to have no contact with other GA citizens until he was fully debriefed, unless said Intelligence Officer gave explicit permission and felt contact with other citizens would not pose a security risk.

She’d actually quietly chuckled to herself when she’d issued the medical quarantine and classified his records making them off limits to anyone without an active military rank of general or higher, or an Intel Agent with a class three clearance or above. She knew she was laying it on a bit thick, but that hadn’t stopped her; it wasn’t her fault if none of Anakin’s family seemed to remember that technically Han was still an active general.

She hadn’t cried when Iella sat her down, took her hands, and quietly told her the story of how her first husband had been taken prisoner during the Civil War and been gone for seven years, about how the man that was returned to her was not the man who had been taken.  She had not cried when she’d grasped the true meaning of what her mentor was telling her, had not cried when Iella said she would be no further than a comm call away and would do anything she could for Tahiri and Will; regardless of what it was, regardless of what other relationships it might effect.

She hadn’t cried during the four hours she’d sat on the shuttle.

She was just numb.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

29 ABY
First Fleet Medical Frigate, Taris Sector
14 months after the Fall of Coruscant

“What do you mean I can’t go in there?” Leia demanded.

“Yeah, that’s our son.” Han contributed, fiercely; pointing a finger at the stone-faced captain guarding the door before returning to his previous posture.

He knew his input wasn’t going to help, but he couldn’t just stand there, he had to at least act the part, and was grateful that his all Jedi family never seemed to get when he was bluffing.

He did in fact want desperately to see Anakin, to a least touch his boy after thinking for so long that he was dead, but he had committed to a course of action, had placed his bet, had chosen a pod to back, and there was nothing he could do now but wait for Tahiri to show up, watch the electrical light storm that would be the reunion of his wife and his sort of daughter-in-law, and then wait for Tahiri to sneak him in later.

He hoped.

He had asked Iella, all those months ago, not to tell Tahiri about their conversation. The conversation when Han had ‘suggested’ to Iella that Tahiri might be of help to her, suggested that Intel might be a good fit for a smart young woman who needed a job; a girl who had spent time in enemy hands, wasn’t going to be doing any Jedi-ing anytime soon and whose welfare really mattered to him. Iella, being a smart woman herself, read between the lines, had not only sought Tahiri out, but kept Han in the loop; let him know that she and Wedge had taken a genuine liking to her, as had Tycho and Winter.

It wasn’t exactly what Anakin had meant when he asked Han to take care of Tahiri, but it was the best he could do.

The whole situation was kriffed nine ways to next week, Han never speaking the words ‘Can you please send me holos of my grandson?’ but rather asking Iella if she had any ‘news’ or ‘information’ for him. He never asked directly about the child’s mother, but he always asked how the agent who had secured the information was. Iella’s answers ranged from ‘she’s very good at what she does’ to ‘she’s having a tough week’, and Han was never sure if Iella was referring to Tahiri’s job, her mothering or her emotional state, but his guilt never allowed him to ask for clarification.

He also hadn’t come right out and told Iella this morning that he now wanted Tahiri to know everything, but the mere fact that he was comming, was alerting her immediately that Anakin had turned up, should have clued her in. The fact that Iella had already known and hadn’t comm’d him scared him, made him wonder instantly how bad this was going to get. He prayed that she got the point of his comming anyway, understood that he needed Tahiri to understand that he was on her side, but that he needed her not to say anything in front of the family. If Tahiri didn’t understand where Han stood, then Anakin wouldn’t understand, and Han wouldn’t get access, and this was all such slippery territory to negotiate.

He looked back at his wife.

Speaking of slippery territory.

He knew she knew he was keeping tabs on Tahiri. He knew she knew he was getting regular updates and images of Will. He was even pretty sure she knew that he knew that she went into the cockpit of the Falcon and played the recordings in the middle of the night when they were both pretending that he was asleep.

Han smiled as he watched the princess try to play smart with the guard - the nameplate on his breast pocket said Teal - and switch gears, turning sweet and somewhat pleading.

“Listen, I know you’re only doing your job, and I understand the position you’re in, but my son is sick, clearly, and I need to at least speak to a medic or a med droid in order to give instructions regarding his treatment.”

Teal was good, patient, wasn’t getting angry or frustrated, was simply repeating the same phrases over and over again; Jedi Solo was under medical quarantine. Someone in authority would speak with them soon.

Boy, Iella had laid it on thick, or had that been Tahiri? ‘Medical quarantine’? Of course Tahiri, or Iella, was smart to not give her name as the one in authority, and Han was sure that was on purpose. It didn’t matter though, it would all come out eventually.

Goodbye dinner parties with the Antilles.

He let out a heavy breath and surveyed the room again, taking stock of everyone’s positions.

He was standing in a corner, across from the door to the hallway, leaning against the edge of the observation window. The door to the room Anakin was in lay on the other edge of the same window and with the slightest roll of his shoulder he could see Anakin, or every person in the waiting area. He stood in the ‘power position’, though he wasn’t feeling particularly powerful.

Luke was standing near the main door, looking puzzled, and Han wondered why. Maybe he was trying to read Anakin’s condition through the Force. Han didn’t need the Force to see that his son was in lousy shape, all he needed to do was look at the limp form lying on the bed, countless tubes and wires running from his body to the machines crowding the small space. He looked like he weighed half what he had when he’d left. Han wondered what he’d eaten, wondered where he’d been. The only information they’d gotten before the doors had closed and the restrictions had gone into place was that Anakin was comatose and showed no indications of waking that could be specifically pointed to.

In other words, Han realized, could be ten minutes from now, could be ten years from now.

Mara was nearest to Han, standing straight in front of the window, extremely focused. Han got the feeling that she wasn’t looking at Anakin at all though, despite where her eyes were turned, but was concentrating on what was going on around and behind her; what was coming. Another smart woman.

The twins were huddled together on a couch behind Leia; looking miserable, again, and again, Han didn’t need the Force.

That was the other poodoo storm brewing on the horizon. Poor kids.

It was them, and Tahiri and Leia of course, that lay at the center of the problem. All the problems in his family over the past year in fact, and what they were heading into at this very moment, boiled down to one thing; Tahiri’s insistence that Anakin had not been dead when the strike team left the worldship over Myrkr.

Evidently, she’d been right.

However, in order to accept that she had been right all those months ago, the rest of his family had to accept that Jaina and Jacen had left Anakin behind. Instead, it was easier for Leia, and to some extent Han, to deny Tahiri’s claim. They treated her like she was crazy and that her feelings, her love for Anakin, were insignificant, and they demonized her for questioning the twins’ judgment, because that was easier than facing the prospect that two of their children had left the third to die. That was easier than acknowledging that Jaina and Jacen were wrong when they said they hadn’t abandoned Anakin, had only abandoned his body, and that they had only done that because they’d had no choice.

Alarm spiked in Han when he realized that Leia was changing tactics, he’d missed the question - but not the answer, and knew that they were hitting dangerous ground. Leia was well aware that Tahiri was with Intel, had sat through conversations and mission planning sessions where Tahiri’s work had been discussed, and what Captain Teal was saying was about to blow the lid off Han’s day.

“I’m sorry Madame, the medical quarantine is actually a minor issue.  Jedi Solo has spent significant time behind enemy lines and must be debriefed by a Galactic Alliance Intelligence Officer with Class Three or above clearance before any Galactic Alliance citizen is permitted contact with him.”

Han felt a sudden tension in the room, felt the pressure build, felt the silence fall as Leia stopped arguing, and the captain stopped explaining. He watched all the bodies around him shift just slightly toward the door, and couldn’t help the small, sad lift at the corner of his mouth as it slid open and two of the biggest humans he’d ever seen marched into the room. Both wore the uniform of the Galactic Alliance Special Commandos, one, incongruously, had a baby bag slung over the same shoulder as his assault blaster.

Once inside the room, the two men moved in opposite directions to make way for the woman behind them. She was petite, though standing behind the two burly soldiers, and in front of two more, she seemed almost frail. Her wavy blonde hair was pulled back in a gentle sweep at the base of her neck, and she wore a smart blouse, trim trousers, and knee-high boots. In her arms, to Han’s absolute delight, was the most beautiful baby boy he had ever seen.

“Where is he?” Tahiri demanded evenly.

Han had to hand it to the kid; she knew how to make an entrance.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8
It Ain’t What You Do, It’s The Way That You Do It
(And That’s What Gets Results)

29 ABY
First Fleet Medical Frigate, Taris Sector
14 months after the Fall of Coruscant

Tahiri followed Bram and Stoker down the long twisting corridors of the med frigate, Trey and Junip behind her. Up ahead, a short Fleet Representative led the way, though Tahiri couldn’t see him through her guards.

The boys were jumpy and had not been happy about being thrown into a mission with no prep time; had said so when entering the hangar back on the Lusankya.

Tahiri had snapped that this wasn’t a mission and to get their asses on board the ship.

All four had stared at her, speechless.

She’d walked away, gone up the ramp and hidden in the back of the vessel long enough to let Winter deal with them. She knew Winter, always calm and serene, would be able to soothe things over. When she’d met them all in the hold later she’d felt nothing but concern radiating off the men who had taken it upon themselves to be more than just escorts and protectors to her and Will, and would have been wracked with guilt had she been able to feel anything at that point.

When they’d landed ten minutes ago, she had shaken off the horrible numb feeling she’d been drowning in - had forced herself to focus - had pushed aside her fear of facing Anakin’s family and the reality of his condition and tried instead to concentrate on the fact that she was about to see him - actually see him - after all this time. He was home, he had kept his promise, just like he said he would, just like he always did and it didn’t matter that it had taken so kriffing long this time, it only mattered that he had done it.

Will felt warm and safe in her arms and she wished that she could carry him into Anakin’s room with her, hold him and let his tiny body soothe her the way it always did when she felt scared, but that was irresponsible. They didn’t know where Anakin had been or what he’d been exposed to, she had to wait until she knew it was okay for her son to be in the same room as his father. Winter would be done getting their quarters squared away and catch up with her in a few minutes; Winter and the boys would keep Will safe until Tahiri had assessed the situation.

Before she knew it, she was through the door of the intensive care center, Bram and Stroker had parted in front of her, and she was confronted by a wall of Solo and Skywalker.

Disregarding the intimidating presences, her eyes sought out the uniform she knew should be somewhere, found it and blurted out, “Where is he?”

Leia’s Force signature was as icy as ever, but Tahiri ignored her, instead cradling Will’s head closer into her neck and shouldering her way past Jacen to meet the man approaching her.

“I’m Age...”

Before she got any further, Leia jumped in, directing her question at the same man. “You’re not going to let her in, are you?”

She only got a little further on her next attempt, “Agent Tahiri…”

“I should be allowed in first. He’s my son.”

Tahiri lifted an eyebrow, glanced sideways at Leia and said, “Last time I checked you were pretty sure that your son was dead.” Then turning back to the man whose uniform identified him as Captain Teal continued, “Agent Tahiri Veila.”

Leia looked like she’d tear Tahiri’s head off with her hands for a second, then a sudden look of triumph crossed her face, and turning back to Teal herself said, “They aren’t really married.”

“Married?” Teal asked, confused.

Tahiri shook her head, hefted Will higher on her right shoulder, painfully aware of the fact that his grandmother hadn’t acknowledged him, pulled her ID card from her pocket, the GA insignia face up, and placed it in the man’s outstretched hand.

Jaina gawked from behind Mara, but it was Jacen, who’d moved to stand next to Luke who asked, in a voice that made clear his disbelief, “You’re a class 3 Intelligence Agent?”

Winter entered the room then, gliding up to Tahiri, reaching out for the baby. Tahiri kissed his head and rubbed his wispy curls before handing him off and, turning back to Anakin’s brother, explained, “Class Two, actually, but I wanted to make sure my assistant had access so he could run errands for me and retrieve information if I needed him to.”

“Your assistant?” She wasn’t sure if Luke was taken aback by the fact that she had an assistant, or that even he had clearance and they didn’t.

It was Mara though, whose voice was low and dark, that stated rather than asked, “You placed Anakin under arrest and restricted access to him.”

“Agent,” the Captain interrupted, handing Tahiri her card back, “You’ve been logged in, the system’s programmed to recognize your ID, just swipe the magna strip through the reader and you can enter at any time, but,” nodding toward her leg, “no weapons are allowed in the patient rooms.”

“Oh, of course,” Tahiri replied absently as she pulled the blaster from the holster strapped to her thigh. Bram stepped forward, baby bag he’d had on his shoulder now held open for Tahiri as she whacked the butt of the blaster against the heel of her hand, dislodging the power pack. She flipped it upside down, and shoved it back inside with a loud click and dropped the gun into the proffered bag. She then removed the lightsaber hanging from her belt and dropped that too. Reaching down to the outside of her left leg, she pulled a vibro-blade from inside her boot, then pulled it’s mate from her right boot and, standing back up, slid both into a slot on the outside of the bag.

Squaring her shoulders, Tahiri faced the Jedi Master as she unstrapped a holdout blaster from her left wrist. “Yes, I did have him placed under arrest. It’s standard procedure. Would you rather have had an agent you didn’t know assigned to this case?”

“Yes,” Leia answered. “And no one should be going in there but me. Least of all, you; you’re not even family.”

Jaina stepped on her mother’s malicious comment with one of her own. “Isn’t your being assigned to this ‘case’ a conflict of interest?”

“In what way?” Tahiri asked her, cocking her head to the side as she removed the clip from her hair. She didn’t drop this into the bag, instead she took the small metal container Bram had produced from a pocket on his utility belt, gently placed the clip into the padding lining the container, softly clicked it closed, and handed it back to him, then looked back to Jaina before continuing. “If my relationship to your brother is as insignificant as you seem to think then my being the agent of record should be no problem.” Moving her gaze back to Mara she continued, “and if I am in fact married to Anakin, then as his wife, I’m legally entitled to be at his side.” Tahiri let that one sink in before turning to her ‘mother-in-law’. “Which way would you like to play this?”

She folded her arms across her chest, eyeing each member of the family in turn, daring any one of them to contradict her. None of them did, none of them could.

“I can be reasonable,” she finally went on, “and I plan to be,” then to Leia, “but you need to remember who started this. You should also know that I am no longer a scared, grieving, pregnant, helpless girl who will crumble in a corner if you yell long enough or loud enough. Screw whether you believe our marriage is legitimate, he is my son’s father, and if you kriff with me I will hide him so deep and so fast it will take you a year to figure out what sector I took him to.

“Now, I can’t remember off the top of my head whether I had the boys set their weapons to stun this morning, so I suggest you sit down and shut up. I’ll join you again when I’m ready.”

Marching toward the door that was being opened for her, Tahiri paused only long enough to turn around and say, “And don’t think it went unnoticed that none of you bothered to comm me when he was found,” before disappearing inside.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Leia.” Winter kept her voice calm, but firm, and she didn’t say anything else until her oldest friend turned to face her. “Why don’t you come over here and meet your grandson.”

Han didn’t need a second invitation, he didn’t even need the first one to be addressed to him, he practically launched himself at Winter and scooped Will out of her arms.

“Hey, kid,” he said softly, “I’m your grandpa.”

Will smiled up at him, then screeched happily and grasped the finger Han offered.

Mara stepped up and ran her hand over Will’s arm. “It’s hard to tell who he looks more like,” she said wistfully.

“We think,” Winter began to explain, “that his face and eyes are shaped like Anakin’s, but he has Tahiri’s coloring. And his eyes turn more green all the time.”

“That would also explain the almost non existent white hair,” Han chuckled. “That sure didn’t come from the Solo side.”

“I’d say not.” Winter laughed.

“Is he rolling over yet?”

Winter knew that Iella was reporting Will’s development to Han when they spoke every week, but she gamely went along with pretending that Han knew nothing of the child’s growth.

“He’s trying, though usually the top half of his body goes or the bottom half does, rarely both at the same time. And I’m sure you’ll find this interesting Luke, he’s quite adept at manipulating his environment.”

Luke, who’d gone to join his sister when his wife had joined Han, raised his eyebrows questioningly. “Oh, in what way?”

“Tahiri has several small toy X-Wings suspended over Will’s changing table; he makes them fly, often into the sides of our heads while we’re dressing him. He also likes to rearrange Wedge’s holodisplays in the command salon.” Chuckling softly, and speaking more to Will than the adults present, she added, “Tycho’s not allowed to have Will on the bridge during Fleet Maneuvers anymore. Is he, little one?”

If the fact that the General and the Colonel had had the infant on the bridge during maneuvers struck anyone as odd, or highly indulgent, they didn’t say so.

Quiet fell over the room, only interrupted by the sounds of Will’s happy babbling and small lips blowing spit bubbles until Jacen, sitting back on the couch in the corner and staring at the ceiling, and having ignored Winter’s presence until now, caught her attention.

“Does she always walk around that heavily armed?” he asked.

Winter smiled ruefully. “Only when she travels, and usually more so. She’s not wearing the boots with retractable blades in the toes. I think in her desperation to get here as fast as she could she put the wrong boots on when she was dressing this morning.”

No one commented, so Winter continued.

“She stopped carrying her lightsaber shortly after Borealis. She said that the right to carry a blade was earned and should be reserved for those serving the Order, and that despite what had transpired, she respected the Order itself, or it’s ideals rather, and would never dishonor what Anakin had fought for.”

Mara and Luke traded glances, Luke looking slightly uncomfortable, but Winter couldn’t tell if Mara was having an ‘I told you so’ moment or if they were simply realizing that their suppositions about Tahiri’s character might have been off.

“Somehow,” she continued, “the Yuuzhan Vong, more specifically Shimrra we think, became aware of the fact that the Jedi who was shaped and the Jedi who stood with Vua Rapuung had a Jedi baby. We believe he’s afraid that Will could become a symbol of sorts; that his very existence might galvanize the Shamed Ones, the faction of Vong who already see some significance in Anakin and Tahiri. The intel has been sketchy, so we aren’t certain about all of this. What we do know is that our young Will here has become a target. Even Jacen’s bounty wasn’t this high.”

Winter’s nonchalance was feigned, and the information brought looks of dismay from everyone. Even Leia looked sickened. Han’s face spoke a thousand words in less than ten seconds; Why wasn’t he told? He knew exactly why he wasn’t told. He was going to throttle Iella. He was going to thank Iella.

Finally, he just sighed heavily so Winter went on again.

“A few weeks after Will was born Tahiri was sent to Denon. It was meant to be a simple mission, her first after giving birth, she was acting as little more than a courier. We weren’t yet aware of the Vong’s knowledge of or interest in Will so she only took a nanny with her.

“Two would-be profiteers broke into Tahiri’s hotel room, killed the nanny, and were halfway to where Will was sleeping before Tahiri came in.”

“And she didn’t have her lightsaber.” Luke breathed, his eyes closing.

“No, she was unarmed, and they had an ysalamari.”

“You’d think they were being sold on street corners these days.” Han harrumphed.

“One would think.” Winter agreed. “She tried to stop them without doing unnecessary harm, but one refused to cooperate; she ended up killing him with her bare hands; snapped his neck, but not without consequence; she spent twelve days in a med ward. Broken nose, skull fracture, broken wrist, fractured jaw, internal bleeding, sprained knee, 3 cracked ribs. The healing shouldn’t have taken so long, but she refused to go into healing trances because she couldn’t feel Will, she insisted on being brought out of Bacta at regular intervals to feed him. The worst part was the pain, she refused meds so Will wouldn’t get them through her milk.”

“What happened to the second guy?” Mara asked.

“She kicked him in the temple moments into the fight; he was still out when the judicials arrived. It was during his debriefing that we obtained most of the knowledge that we now have regarding the situation but we’ve been trying to keep the information under wraps to prevent word getting around any more than it already has.

“Now Tahiri’s a little paranoid when not on the Lusankya. She trains at least a couple of hours a day, has no qualms about carrying her lightsaber anymore and is a crack shot with a blaster.” Winter turned away from the family and said, “Bram, why don’t you take Stroker and see to sweeping our rooms. Will and I should be fine with Trey and Junip on the door.”

Bram looked toward the observation window, then back to Winter, and she knew he wasn’t comfortable leaving without Tahiri’s say so.

“I’ll let her know where you are, and I’m surrounded by four Jedi, and one adoring grandfather, we’ll be fine.”

He nodded, signaled to his companions and they all stepped outside the main door, two taking up sentry positions in the hall, as Winter knew they would.

“Will’s Honor Guard travels with her as much to keep Wedge and Tycho happy as Tahiri and Will safe, though they’ve become very fond of her and the baby as well. They’re the ones she trains with; she takes them all down on a regular basis, and not because they go easy on her.”

Han nodded, then asked the question Winter knew was on everyone’s mind; “So, can she really do it? Take Anakin away like that?”

“Do you want to test her and find out?”

“Not particularly.”

“You should know she filed paperwork to establish the legality of the marriage shortly after she went to work for Iella.”

Leia let out a disgusted sigh.

“Why would she do that if she thought he was already dead?” Jaina asked.

She had slowly made her way to her father’s side and was peering at her nephew as though she wasn’t quite sure she should be doing so and Winter’s heart broke to see people she cared so much for in such pain and confusion.

“She never thought he was dead.” Winter answered. “Or at least never accepted it. And she said Anakin taught her to cover all her bases. She was always a little concerned that you,” Winter now directed her answer at Leia, who, she could tell, was watching the baby through the reflection in the window, “might pop up one day and try to take Will away from her. She thought the idea that she and Anakin had a formally established relationship - were seen legally as serious adults as opposed to reckless kids - might have helped her if you ever decided to sue for custody. The fact that you never actually took an interest in Will was somewhat of a relief to her.”

Mara scowled at Winter’s less that gentle admonishment and joined Jacen on the couch.

“She couldn’t really have thought we’d do that.” Han claimed.

“Clearly she did; the point is, with the galactic government in chaos because of the war, having a position in the new government as it was being created, and being the mother of Anakin’s son, she had no problem making a pro-visionary establishment of marriage. The only reason she wasn’t notified before you when he turned up is that she hadn’t gotten around to having the documentation finalized.”

Leia’s sensible side seemed to finally be kicking in when she asked, “What does that mean for us now?”

“What it means right now is that if Intel, and by Intel I mean Iella, decides that there is a conflict of interest and she should not be assigned to Anakin’s case, she could be granted at least a temporary supervisory role over Anakin’s care based on the status of the marriage. I honestly don’t know whether she or you would have a better claim, but are you willing to take the risk? And do you want to look your son in the eye when he wakes up and tell him that while he was unconscious you spent your time playing tug of war over him with the mother of his child?”

Taking pity on them, and because she felt she had to, she went ahead and pointed out what she felt was glaringly obvious.

“You’re already going to have to answer for the fact that you’ve had no contact with her since weeks after he disappeared and have never seen your grandson before now.

“Courts and military involvement and Intel decisions take time, and Tahiri knows that. If you push her, if she feels cornered and he doesn’t wake up in the next few days, yes, she may have him transferred without notifying you in order to avoid giving you the opportunity to bring in outside interference. If you give her some breathing room and don’t threaten to pull him away from her, I think you’ll find that she can be very forthcoming.”

“You know,” Jacen said, the tone of his voice suddenly strong, as though he’d found the solution to all this, “We could just use the Force to sneak him out of here and take him someplace where she can’t find him.”

Winter leveled her former charge with a reproachful look. “Possibly, and in the process break a number of laws, reinforce the beliefs of beings who accuse the Jedi of holding yourselves above reproach, risk Anakin’s health and recovery, and add fuel to the fire with Tahiri.”

Taking Will, and ignoring Han’s look of protest, Winter walked over to Leia and placed Will in her arms. She was gratified to see Leia instantly cuddle the baby and didn’t miss the tears that welled up in Leia’s eyes.

“He does look just like Anakin, doesn’t he?” She whispered.

“He does indeed, and has a fascinating combination of his and Tahiri’s personalities already.”

With Leia’s attention now focused on Will, who’s head she was stroking while she cooed to him softly, Winter looked through the glass into Anakin’s room; looked at what had been holding Leia’s attention.

Tahiri was bent over Anakin, holding one of his hands in a tender grip, using her other hand to brush his hair off of his forehead, her own head tucked down next to his ear. Her shoulders were bobbing, obviously from crying. Winter’s heart went out to the girl she had begun to think of as a daughter more than a junior colleague; she could only imagine what must be going through Tahiri’s mind, what she must be whispering to Anakin after all this time.

“Leia, I’ve spent a great deal of time with Tahiri and I feel I can speak with some authority when I say that she has no interest in coming between Anakin and all of you.

“She knows you love him, she knows that he loves you, and despite how devastating it was, she understands why you treated her the way you did, she understands that you were all grieving and not at your best. She is also painfully aware of the fact that she is nowhere near blameless for what went on; that girl is far from dumb. She may never get over the hurt that situation caused her; you may not care if she does, but that’s irrelevant right now. The only thing that matters to her, the only thing that should matter to any of us, is Anakin opening his eyes.”

Leia shut her own eyes, and continued to stroke Will’s head as tears ran down her face and finally she nodded at her friend.

“Now,” Winter said gently, “Why don’t you give me my hold-son. It is far past his bedtime and the last thing any of us wants is for this boy to be cranky from lack of sleep when the time comes for him to meet his father.”

Leia nodded and kissed Will’s head, but didn’t give him up.

“I’ll be bringing him around first thing in the morning for him to nurse, then you’ll get to spend more time with him,” Winter assured.

Leia’s voice was smaller than Winter could ever remember hearing when she asked; “Do you think she’ll allow that?” and Winter knew exactly what Leia was referring to.

“Yes, I do. I believe there were a lot of contributing factors for Tahiri not contacting you over the last year. One was her not knowing how to deal with any of you after what happened on Hapes. Then there was the idea of sitting in a room with people who blamed her for Anakin’s death, with the child they felt she should not have told him about, and then having to listen to you speak about him as though he were dead when she was still working so hard to cling to the possibility that he wasn’t.”

“Did you never try to tell her he was gone?”

“No, and Iella set the tone there because of her own first hand experience; Diric was gone and presumed dead for seven years before he came back. Wedge and Tycho and I went along with Iella because we saw how devastated and lonely Tahiri was: we never referred to Anakin as dead and ignored her referring to him in the present tense. We decided to give her time and see where we were at a few months from now. We actually discussed it at dinner a few nights ago, agreed that she wasn’t ready yet and to let it continue to fly for now.”

“Funny, part of my issue with her was my not being able to handle her insistence that he was alive.” Leia began to cry softly again. “But she was right, all this time she was right.”

“But we couldn’t have known. It was a horrible situation for you all to be in and unfortunately none of you behaved very well.”

Leia just nodded and continued to rub her grandson’s head.

“When Tahiri realized she was pregnant she debated not telling Anakin, and then decided that she simply couldn’t hide it from him. His response was that he was glad she did tell him, and as scared as they both were, he was delighted about Will. He told her he would have been very angry if she had hidden it and still gone on the mission with him, or hidden it and made up some excuse to stay behind, which she doubted she’d have gotten away with anyway.

“Now, I really must take Will, but we will see you in the morning.”

Leia finally handed Will over, then looked back up at Winter. “Thank you, thank you for looking after them. It seems you’ve spent years taking care of my family when I’ve failed to do so.”

Winter leaned over and kissed her friend’s cheek, but she didn’t say anything, she simply turned and headed for the door.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9
Have I Found You, Flightless Bird?

29 ABY
Anakin Solo’s Med Room, First Fleet Medical Frigate, Taris Sector
14 months after the Fall of Coruscant

Tahiri began to focus; began to separate out the voices in the next room from the dull hum in her head.

Leia was at it again, hounding the staff for information, and Tahiri needed to do something, needed to address what was going on outside Anakin’s door; for the poor hapless medics if not for Anakin’s poor mother herself.

Lifting her head off Anakin’s pillow, she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his temple. She breathed deeply, then whispered into his ear; “I’m going to go out and talk to your family now. They’ve been waiting not so patiently. I love you.”

She stood up and smoothed her hand over his head, then bent over and kissed his forehead. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

Anakin didn’t respond.

Once she’d turned her back on his family and finally gotten inside his room, she’d come to an abrupt stop at the foot of his bed.

Anakin lay flat on his back, surrounded by banks of flashing and beeping equipment that she knew was monitoring him and keeping him alive. The absurd thought that he hated lying flat on his back, could never sleep comfortably that way, and that she should ask the staff to turn him onto his side, flew through her mind as she tried to process what she was seeing.

When she finally stepped closer, her attention was drawn to the long, stringy hair fanned out on the pillow under Anakin’s head. His full beard was obscured by the breath mask over his mouth, and again her thoughts were a jumble of mundane ideas; he’d want a haircut and to shave the second he woke up, and she wondered how she’d arrange that in a med ward. She’d known instantly what her mind was doing; it was fighting to drown out the more frightening thought; was he going to wake up?

He was so pale and so thin; the report she’d read on the shuttle had his estimated weight listed at less than fifty-five kilos and Tahiri had been sure that was a misprint. She was still breastfeeding and hadn’t lost all the weight she’d gained while pregnant, but still only weighed fifty kilos herself and Anakin was more than fifteen centimeters taller than she was. How could he possibly weigh so little? Then she wondered what had been done to him, where had he been that he’d have lost so much weight, and again she fought the thoughts that intruded on her mind, fought to banish images of Anakin in the hands of Yuuzhan Vong Shapers. She didn’t want to imagine that he’d been hurt the way she had been. Didn’t want to imagine that he’d been held and experimented on and all this time she hadn’t been looking for him the way he’d looked for her on Yavin Four.

The beeping of monitoring devices was the only sounds in the room, and contributed to the oppressive and ominous atmosphere.

Even this close, his presence in the Force felt wrong, murky, and though she was still trying to reach him, he wasn’t reaching back, and this scared her and threatened to break her heart all over again.

Tahiri stepped closer, laid her hand on Anakin’s leg, then slowly trailed her fingers up his body as she took the last steps to reach his side. She ached from the knowledge that this was not going to be the reunion that she had dreamed of for so many months; fought the dread that after all that had happened, after all this time, he’d only been brought back to her so she could watch him die for real.

Placing her hand over his where it lay at his side, she felt the papery texture and winced; it felt too rough and at the same time too fragile. Ignoring that, she caressed it and leaned toward him. She moved her other hand up to his face, gently stroking his cheek.

The finally leaned down and pressed her cheek to his, and her mouth next to his ear and whispered, “Anakin, I’m here.”

But Anakin didn’t respond.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The voices outside grew louder as she reached the door, but when she opened it, an uncomfortable silence fell over the room.

A Mon Cal in a lab coat turned toward her instantly, a look of relief clear on his face, even to her.

“Agent Veila.” He came toward Tahiri, as though to thank a savior, “I’m Dr. Vogel. I was just explaining to Jedi Solo’s family that I’d received all his test results but I would need your permission to give them any information.”

“I’m the one who should be giving permission where permission is required.” Leia was muttering, though Tahiri noticed her claim lacked the bite all her earlier claims had, and prayed she was finally simmering down. Winter must have worked some of her magic; that would certainly make things easier.

Looking back to the doctor, Tahiri nodded, “You have my permission to update me with Anakin’s family present.”

“Of course,” the doctor sighed, his relief palpable. “I’ll just need your signature on this form,” he continued, offering her a large datapad and a stylus with which to sign it, “stating that their presence is acceptable.”

When Tahiri had given him the pad back, and taken a seat in the chair she’d slid near the door to Anakin’s room, effectively blocking the way for anyone else to enter, the doctor cleared his throat and addressed the group.

“I’m pleased to tell you that we know more now than we did this morning and the news is slightly better, but I’ll start at the beginning for those of you who are just getting caught up.

“Jedi Solo was found comatose aboard a debilitated spacecraft in the Null system. His ship was recovered and he was transported here. We established signs of life, hooked him up to monitoring equipment, and began running evaluations. As is standard with patients not carrying identification, we ran a DNA analysis, which is, of course, how we determined who he was and was able to notify you,” at this he gestured toward Leia and Han.

“Why,” Jacen asked, “was Intel notified.”

Tahiri grinned slightly.

To say that she and Jacen disliked each other was a grotesque understatement. The few memories she did have of Hapes were crystal clear; she remembered being called a worthless desert whore by Anakin’s brother; she remembered accusing Jacen of being jealous of his brother because he’d never be as smart or talented as Anakin; accusing him of leaving Anakin behind on purpose so he wouldn’t have to spend the rest of his miserable life living in his younger brother’s shadow; remembered Han dragging her away from a livid Jacen after she’d used the Force to hurl him into one wall of the refugee tent they were all staying in, causing one side of the structure to collapse.

Of course Jacen would be the one to ask why she’d been notified. He also might be the one person in the room ignorant of protocol when dealing with returning ‘prisoners of war’.

Addressing his answer to Jacen, and seemingly oblivious to the tension surrounding him, the doctor happily responded to his question.

“Well, when the NR became the GA, and the Jedi Council was established, Jedi records became GA records. Your brother’s status as ‘presumed killed in action’ came up when his DNA matched his name. GA Intelligence has immediate jurisdiction over, and debriefs, all returning military, or military type, citizens who have spent time behind enemy lines, if they can be documented. It was really a matter of the standard buttons being pushed and the information being automatically transmitted along the appropriate channels.”

Tahiri saw the slight smile on Han’s face, practically felt his relief.

She’d been deadly serious when she’d shot her parting salvos about the family not notifying her, knowing that Han wasn’t supposed to have comm’d Iella. The doctor’s answer seemed to pacify everyone though, made it seem like it was coincidence that Tahiri had had the opportunity to aggressively insert herself into the situation - which it was - but it was nice to know that it would have only been an hour later that she could have started that same procedure, thanks to Han.

She felt sorry for him, didn’t envy the position he was in.

Seeming satisfied that his answer had pleased, Vogel continued, “as I was saying, the patient’s condition was assessed and what we found is that he has suffered from a prolonged period of exposure to conditions unfavorable to human beings.

“He appears to have lacked clean water and proper digestible food, both of which have created a host of physical problems, among them reduced liver and kidney function, resulting in his body’s inability to adequately cleanse his blood, which created a state of high toxicity. His glandular system is in an extreme state of disequilibrium, his adrenal glands producing near fatal amounts of adrenaline, likely due to a prolonged period of extreme stress. His pancreas isn’t regulating his blood sugar properly - the list goes on.

“We’ve found high quantities of a substance called serrocotie, a residual byproduct of olbio leaves.”

“Olbio leaves?” Mara interrupted.

“Yes, they grow on…”

It was Leia that interrupted him this time; “He’s been on Myrkr this whole time?”

Tahiri felt a wave of nausea and leaned forward, her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands.

“Given that his last known location was on a Yuuzhan Vong worldship in the Myrkr system, that would be my guess,” Vogel answered slowly, “Obviously, we don’t know for sure.”

A moment passed, and Tahiri finally looked up, realized that Vogel was looking at her expectantly while Anakin’s family sat quietly. “I’m sorry, doctor, please continue.”

“Yes, well, we found high quantities of this byproduct, which is mildly toxic to humans. It has likely done damage to his digestive system. There were several containers of standard military ration bars found on his ship, and several empty wrappers, indicating that he had attempted to eat some, but he likely wasn’t able to hold them down. We won’t know for certain if this was the case, or whether the effects of the damage will be reversible, until he wakes up.”

“But he’s going to wake up?” Jaina almost pled.

No one else had dared to ask, and everyone else held their breath for an eternal moment, waiting for the answer.

“We have him on a bacta cleansing bypass machine right now, the purpose of which is to cleanse his blood while also cleansing and healing his organs so that they can then do their jobs, which is to cleanse the body. His heart has been stressed to the extreme, all we can do for hyper adrenaline production is administer counter meds and hope for the best. He’s receiving intravenous fluids, which will balance his body salts, electrolytes, and he’s also receiving intravenous nutrients, which his body has been starved of. All of these things will help, and there is no indication that he will not regain full consciousness, however, there is no way of telling when he might at this point.”

That certainly wasn’t a ‘no’ to Jaina’s question, but it also wasn’t the resounding ‘yes’ that Tahiri had been living for.

Han surprised everyone by asking, “Would a healing trance help?”

“Ah,” Dr. Vogel responded enthusiastically, the scientist in him shining through, “The Force. To be honest, I do not have a tremendous amount of knowledge of the therapeutic benefits of such things, but I would certainly not be adverse to trying. However, I’m under the impression that a patient need be participatory, which, of course, Jedi Solo would not be at this juncture.”

“No,” Luke said, “But our colleague, Master Cilghal may have some insight.”

“Yes, a fellow Mon Cal, I read a study of hers once. I’d be interested to hear any of her ideas regarding this case.”

Before Luke had finished his sentence, Junip had handed Tahiri a datapad. She’d signed it and was handing it to Dr. Vogel before he’d finished his, or Luke got a chance to ask Tahiri to consider talking to Cilghal.

“This is written consent to have Anakin’s medical files transmitted to Master Cilghal, Master Skywalker can tell you where to find her.” Tahiri informed the doctor.

“You had the forms ready?” Mara asked.

“Of course,” Tahiri snapped dismissively, then winced at the tone of her own voice. She was trying so hard to not be like them, to not give them anything more they could point to when Anakin woke up. “I don’t know what you have Tekli doing right now,” that was a lie, but Tahiri didn’t feel any need to share with the heads of the Jedi Order that she was keeping tabs on any of its members, even Iella didn’t know that, “but maybe bringing her up here wouldn’t be a bad idea. She was part of the Strike Team, part of the meld, she’d likely have the best luck working with him on healing trances when the time comes. If he needs help.”

When everyone just nodded, she asked the doctor to continue before putting her elbow on the arm of her chair and dropping her forehead onto her fingertips. She rubbed the area where her scars used to be, still a little amazed that the skin itched more with them gone than it did with them there, and thought Anakin’s family really must be crazy to think that after all her years of training she wouldn’t have thought of having the Jedi Healers brought in to consult on this.

“Alright,” Vogel continued, “we have run several cranial scans and there is no brain damage that we’ve been able to detect thus far. Structurally, the organ appears normal, and brain waves are within standard range, well, standard for Force users according to data I have access to. Now, because we don’t know anything about where he has been or what he has been through, I can’t speak to his mental or emotional condition. That will have to be assessed when the sedative wears off and he regains consciousness again.”

Tahiri’s head snapped back up, “Again? You had to sedate him?” She jumped from her chair and flew to the window, then turned back to the doctor. “He was awake?”

“I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “I was under the impression you were aware of that.”

“I… No. The report I got before I boarded the transport said that he’d been comatose since being picked up, and he hasn’t moved since I arrived.”

“Oh, I apologize. I thought I was to wait to update you until you called for me. There is actually a clinical difference between comatose and unconscious. He was comatose when he arrived. Several hours ago, he entered a state of unconsciousness, the difference being the patient is more responsive to light, sound, and touch, though only mildly so in this case. Had it not been for the change in brain activity registered by the scanner, we likely wouldn’t have noticed at first. A patient can linger in a state of unconsciousness for some time, however it is possible to feel pain in this state, which is why we sedated him in order to reset the break to his arm.”

“Break to his arm?” Luke again.

“Yes,” the doctor replied. “Because of the morbid malnutrition he has suffered, he’s lost, and I apologize for using this word again, but, an extreme amount of body fat, and consequently his body began to cannibalize lean muscle mass. This all caused a loss of bone density, which poses extreme susceptibility to bone breakage. He was found in the engine room of his ship, on the floor. We don’t know why he was there, as opposed to strapped into the pilot’s chair, however several of the access panels were open…”

Han sat forward in his chair. “He was trying to fix the hyperdrive motivator.”

“I’m not certain,” the doctor said, “though due to the condition of the ship, that would be my guess. I would also assume he lost consciousness while working and it was when he fell that his arm was broken. In any event, by the time we were ready to set it, he was no longer comatose, he’d even regained consciousness once, for a few moments, and we didn’t want to risk that he’d feel the procedure so we sedated him. The effects should be wearing off soon.”

Tahiri was almost afraid to ask; closed her eyes and balled her hands into fists and pressed them into her thighs as she said the words, “Did he say anything, when he came to?”

“I don’t want to mislead you, Agent Veila, he was hardly present, didn’t really ‘come to’ per se. He didn’t open his eyes, would not have been aware of his surroundings, he merely mumbled.” Consulting the pad in his hand, the doctor appeared to be scrolling through several screens before finally reaching the one he wanted. “Ah, yes, here we go, ‘patient did not respond to direct questions or commands, did not open eyes, weakly flexed fingers of right hand, murmured in basic; ‘forty-two.’’ I’m sorry its…”

If the doctor had said anything after that, Tahiri didn’t register it. In a flash she’d wrestled her badge out of her pocket, slid it through the reader and was flying to the bed. Then she was at Anakin’s side, leaning over him and sobbing before the door had closed behind her.

“I’m here Anakin, I’m here.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The last time Tahiri had felt this drained was after she’d given birth to Will.

She’d been in a med center room that night too.

It had been one-hundred and six hours since Iella had woken her up to tell her that Anakin had been found. Ninety-seven since she’d arrived at his side. Ninety-five since she signed the datapad that lifted the ban on Anakin’s family being in his room.

She’d sat next to Anakin’s bed, perched on a high stool, head on his pillow, left hand holding his, right hand stroking his brow, whispering to him; telling him that she was there, that she loved him, that he was safe, that nothing could harm him, that it was okay for him to wake up when he was ready. She told him how beautiful Will was and that she couldn’t wait for him to meet his son.

She’d only left Anakin’s side a few times.

She’d gone to the fresher when she couldn’t hold it anymore and using the Force was no longer working. She’d showered twice, when Winter had insisted, and had only relented because Will was a sloppy eater and thought it was funny to spit bubbles at his mother while he was nursing, which often left Tahiri, and whatever she was wearing, covered in milk and smelling like a broken-down dairy container.

The first several times she’d returned to Anakin’s side she’d elbowed members of his family out of the way so she could resume her place at the head of his bed. They stopped protesting after the third time, finally, she assumed, seeing the futility in their complaints. She wasn’t going to give in, she wasn’t going anywhere, so if they didn’t want her to kick them all back out to the waiting room, they had better shut up, as she’d told them earlier, and get out of her way.

She’d left for a few minutes to meet with the Intel agent Iella had sent over to work Anakin’s ‘case’. Iella had finally decided that Tahiri had enough on her mind and wouldn’t want to be dealing with ‘procedure’ when Anakin did finally wake. Tahiri had agreed to sign the ‘case’ over on the condition that she be named supervising agent so she could still control who entered Anakin’s room - just in case Leia got cranky again and stopped cooperating with Tahiri on instructions regarding Anakin’s care.

She’d balked at the idea of leaving for food, and only ate when Bram or Junip had brought trays in and reminded her that if she didn’t eat Will wouldn’t be able to.

She’d also moved to make way for the droids and techs, and the doctor himself.

Anakin’s breath mask had been removed when his lungs had rested enough and he was finally able to breathe on his own. The bacta bypass machine had been taken away, though Vogel had made it clear that it could very well be brought back if Anakin’s blood gases were to rise back up towards toxic levels. The splint had been taken off his right arm, the bone having healed quickly, much to Vogel’s surprise. The only glaringly obvious signs of medical support still evident where the hydration and nutrient IV’s attached to one arm. Other than those, the stringy hair, the beard, the painful thinness, the jaundiced skin tone, and the deep purple rings under his eyes, he looked exactly how he had when Tahiri had said goodbye to him at Eclipse.

She spent a lot of those long hours crying again, and had a few times chuckled to herself for thinking that she had actually reached a point where she had stopped.

She continued to sit, on her perch, head back on Anakin’s pillow, whispering to him, telling him more of what she had been saying already.

At some point someone had brought the couch in from the observation area and wedged it into the corner of the room, but Tahiri couldn’t remember who or when. Han was on it now, Will asleep in his arms. Winter and Jaina were curled up on either side of Han, asleep as well. Jacen and Luke were on the floor, legs crossed, meditating like the good little Jedi they were. Mara was next to Tahiri, her own head resting on the bed by Anakin’s legs. Leia was across from Tahiri, sitting up straight, stroking her son’s arm.

Tahiri closed her eyes; thought that maybe she’d allow herself to give in to her exhaustion for just a moment, allow sleep to overtake her. She’d slept so little, only allowing herself to drift off a few times, and each time only long enough to beat back some of the fatigue so she could hang on for a few more hours. She took in a long, deep breath, and was on the verge of oblivion when she felt Anakin’s fingers lightly press against hers.

Her head shot up and she looked at their joined hands and tried to figure out if she had imagined the pressure, but before she had worked it out a dim light began to glow softly in her mind. Anakin was reaching for her in the Force.

It was like he was surfacing from below water, from the depths of a deep cloudy pool. She felt the light in her mind grow brighter as his presence got stronger, felt the place inside of her that had always belonged to him begin to thaw after months of icy cold. She closed her eyes again, allowed herself to sink down, felt herself meet him in the shadowy depths, and felt his recognition and relief at finally having found her. He showed her the soul crushing loneliness he’d been feeling for so long, his desperation to get home, the confusion and pain he felt at not knowing where he was now, his fear that something had happened to her. She could feel his struggle to understand what was happening; was he feeling her physically or only in the Force? Was he dead? He didn’t seem to understand whether he’d actually see her if he opened his eyes, or if he could open his eyes.

Tahiri reached back, wrapped her mind around his like a blanket, warm and comforting. Told him, with emotion this time, instead of words, that he was safe and he was home and that they were okay. She felt him acknowledge and accept what she was trying to convey, then felt him relax and gently slip back away from her.

She opened her eyes and stood up, tears once again streaking down her face. She lifted their clasped hands, rested them on Anakin’s chest, used her other hand to smooth her thumb over his forehead and whispered, “I’m right here, Anakin, I love you. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

As if that was all he had ever needed to hear, Anakin’s eyes began to flutter and Tahiri thought her heart would beat out of her chest.

“That’s right, Anakin, open your eyes for me. You’re safe now, you’re home.”

His eyes finally opened and the ice blue she thought she’d never see again gazed right up at her.

A sob escaped her, then Tahiri laughed and, stroking his head tenderly, she whispered, “Hi.”

Anakin’s lids fluttered closed again for a second, then opened lazily and he mouthed, “forty-two.”

Tahiri laughed again and leaned down to kiss his forehead, then his cheek. “Yes, Anakin, forty-two.”

Anakin’s eyes closed again, for a longer moment. When he opened them, he asked, “You… okay?”

She sniffed and bit her lip, trying to control her voice enough to answer. “I am now. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Will?”

She nodded her head a little frantically, her chest aching that Anakin remembered their son. “Yes, he’s here.”

“Okay?” Anakin whispered again.

“He’s perfect, and he looks just like you.”

Anakin’s eyes drifted closed again, but a small satisfied smile graced his dry, cracked lips before he whispered haltingly, “Poor kid. Hoped… look… like you.”

She raised Anakin’s hand to her lips before saying, “No, he’s beautiful, just like his father.”

“See him?” Anakin hadn't even tried to open his eyes to make the request and Tahiri could tell he was drifting off again.

She leaned back in to whisper once more. “Rest, Anakin, he’ll be here when you wake up. You’ll see him when you wake up.”

She was pretty sure he hadn’t heard her, but he surprised her by saying, “Now,” his hoarse voice slightly louder than before, and clearly agitated.

“Okay, okay.” Tahiri looked up instantly, looked for help, and found it in Han, who was already coming towards her with Will, who was still sleeping soundly.

She reached over, took the baby, and lay his little head on the pillow next to his father’s.

“Anakin,” she whispered. “Here he is, here’s your son.”

Anakin’s eyes opened slowly, and with great effort, he turned his head, and there was no mistaking the wonder and joy he felt when he saw Will.

Tahiri felt, rather than saw, that Anakin wanted to touch him, so she reached over, took his hand, the one that Leia had been holding, and brought it up to their baby’s head, helped Anakin run his fingers over the delicate skin, the downy hair, and then down his arm

“Hold him.”

Tahiri nodded, then shifted Will onto Anakin’s chest and guided both of his hands up to hold their baby in place. When she had them settled, Anakin looked back up at her, tears running from his eyes now too, and mouthed, “Thank you,” before closing his eyes, and joining his son in sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10
I Have the Touch

29 ABY
Anakin Solo’s Med Room, First Fleet Medical Frigate, Greater Plooriod Sector
Four weeks after Anakin’s Return

Anakin was beginning to think that his many hours of debriefing would make his head explode.

He did not want to spend anymore time talking about the sick and degrading things he had done to stay alive on Myrkr. He did not want to be reminded of the fear and frustration that had been his only companions as he’d walked endlessly for Force knew how many thousands of kilometers. He didn’t want to describe the disappointment and anger that had nearly crushed him when the first, then the second and third crashed ships he’d found had proved unsalvageable. Didn’t want to recount how after nearly starving to death he’d found hundreds of ration bars on the fourth ship, the one he’d finally escaped Myrkr on, and then had thrown up every bar he’d tried to choke down because his body wasn’t capable of processing anything other than the dirt and leaves he’d been living on. And he really didn’t want to discuss being left on the worldship in the first place.

Listening to his wife give him a run down of his new ‘life’ was threatening to do his head in for a whole host of other reasons.

Tahiri had spent hours over the course of several days going over basic domestic issues; their financial situation, where they ‘lived’, Will’s schedule, her schedule. Tahiri had transferred all the credits in her various bank accounts over to accounts with both of their names on them so that Anakin could access it if he needed too. He couldn’t imagine what he’d need to buy while confined to a hospital room until Tahiri had gently teased him that he was not to go on the holonet and buy himself an X-wing while she was in one of her seemingly endless meetings. The thought hadn’t occurred to him before she’d mentioned it, but he had to admit the idea was appealing as soon as the words were out of her mouth. He’d understood her rationale right away; their funds were better off earning interest, and that waiting for some military body to declare him flight worthy and handing him one of their X-wings was more prudent.

He’d only wondered for a moment where Tahiri had even learned to manage a budget, until he’d heard Iella’s and Winter’s names again and found that Tahiri had done very well for them in his absence. She’d squirreled her salary away, writing off anything she could as expenses incurred to perform her job, using Intel and military procurement whenever possible. Diapers and toiletries were a necessity when she was sent on a mission; she always over ordered just in case, and no one ever asked that the unused supplies be given back. Iella and Winter had been very good teachers when it came to investing too; having seen what war could do to the galactic economy they’d steered Tahiri toward some lucrative funds.

On top of that, Anakin and Tahiri had spacious living quarters on Wedge’s Flagship; the renowned Lusankya. Putting a roof over his family’s head wasn’t going to be a problem Anakin would have to face anytime soon. In fact, there wasn’t anything Anakin was going to need to provide for his family at any time in the near, or - as far as he could tell - distant future.

Not even protection.

Bram, head commando, weapons master, diaper bag wrangler, as his father had deadpanned, and all around swell guy, seemed to be everything Tahiri needed in a man. He kept her son safe, her blaster charged, her knives sharpened, and her magic hair clip from detonating. He brought her food when she was too busy to remember to eat, messages from Iella when she was too engrossed in work to make it down to the communications office, and even brought her an extra pillow when he’d noticed that the med center staff had only given her a single flat one for the portable bed she slept on in Anakin’s room.

Intellectually, Anakin knew he had nothing to worry about, nothing to be jealous of, but having had Tahiri’s undivided attention since the age of eleven, he wasn’t used to, and did not like, sharing. Add to that the fact that he could barely walk, was on a liquid diet, slept more than his infant son and had missed such seminal life events as the birth of his and Tahiri’s child and the attempted kidnapping of Will on Denon, and he was feeling a little superfluous. He was having a hard time digesting the fact that this guy, Bram, had stepped in to shoulder the duties that Anakin should have had covered when instead he was on a deserted planet eating slugs and toxic leaves, fighting to hold onto his sanity and stay alive.

It wasn’t Bram’s fault that he was handsome, capable, and utterly devoted to Anakin’s wife and baby, in fact, the capable and utterly devoted parts were commendable. Anakin would have been grateful if he could see past his own resentment. It was the handsome part, mixed in with the way Bram looked at Tahiri when he thought no one was looking at him that made Anakin want to place his palms against the other man’s temples and squeeze. Of course, that would require strength Anakin simply didn’t have.

Contributing to the confusion and annoyance that were growing steadily with each passing day was the fact that everyone around him was lying and hiding things from. They didn’t seem to be doing it in an effort to be conniving. He was relatively certain that his parents, his siblings, his aunt and uncle, even his wife, were filtering their answers to his questions through a sieve designed to protect him. What was driving him nuts, what was threatening to make him explode in frustration was the fact that he couldn’t figure out what they felt they were protecting him from.

He’d first noticed the deception several days after he’d woken up. It was evening, his family had all gone back to the Falcon and the Shadow, and, as was becoming a habit, Tahiri had come in after everyone else had left. As usual, she had curled up next to him on his bed and was giving him a run down of her evening; she’d done some work, had dinner, fed Will, given him a bath, put him to bed, and then come back to Anakin’s room for the night.

Anakin had asked why, since he’d woken up, she had been dressed like Iella Wessiri. Tahiri had smiled widely and then laughed out loud. Anakin had missed seeing her happy and wanted to see more. He leaned down, gently pressed his lips into that spot on her neck right below her ear, told her that she looked super sexy and that he now understood why all the old Rogues spent so many years chasing Intel girls, and that it was great that she was helping Iella and Winter out with translations and all, but he still wanted to know why she wasn’t wearing her Jedi robes.

The farther down her throat he kissed, the more labored her breathing became, the more tightly her fingers twined into his hair, the less concerned he became with pilots and spies and the light side of the Force. He only faintly remembered Tahiri’s arm rising up or the gentle sweep of her hand that coincided with the closing of the curtain that hung at the observation window in his room. What he did remember, when he woke up the following morning, was that his wife had never answered him.

A few weeks, hundreds of mentions of Iella and Winter, and dozens of healing and rejuvenation trances later, and Anakin decided he’d had enough. The next person who walked into his room was going to answer his kriffing questions.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin woke with a start, panicked when he didn’t feel Tahiri close by.

His sudden movement seemed to startle Han, asleep in a chair near his bed, who was reaching for his blaster before his eyes were even open. He seemed even more startled when his blaster wasn’t where it was supposed to be.

Weapons still weren’t allowed in Anakin’s room.

Relaxing back into his seat Anakin’s father smiled crookedly at him, “Nearly gave your old man a heart attack.”

“Sorry, forgot where I was for a minute.”

“S’okay. Must be rough, waking up like that.”

Anakin took a deep breath and nodded absently, then settled back against his pillows and leveled his father with a suspicious gaze. “Where is everybody?”

“Your mother is on the Falcon with the twins, Luke and Mara are talking to Key’frey and Tahiri’s with Will.”

“It’s just you and me?” At Han’s nod he continued, “Good, no one to interrupt. Would you please tell me what’s going on?”

Anakin recognized the look on his father’s face, he was trying to play dumb, but they both knew that Anakin was the one member of the family Han couldn’t pull that crap with.

“What, specifically, would you like to know?”

His dad was stalling, and Anakin felt his chest tighten. What could have happened while he was gone that was so bad? What were they all trying so hard to hide from him?

“Everything.” Anakin watched his father’s face become pinched with tension, felt himself tense. “But,” he continued, “let’s start with the easy stuff; like why Tahiri hasn’t been with you while I’ve been gone? Why you don’t seem to have seen Will before I turned up here? Why Tahiri and Mom haven’t spoken directly to each other when they’ve been in the same room? Why Tahiri is an Intel agent and not a Jedi and how the Antilles and the Celchus ended up being my son’s hold-parents?”

“Don’t you think you should be asking Tahiri some of these questions?” Han tried.

“I have, but all the answers she gives me leave out any sign of your involvement in her life, leading me to believe that you haven’t been involved in her life, or my son’s. At all.”

Han cleared his throat, took a breath, and then let his shoulders sag forward. “Tahiri is with Intel because I asked Iella and Wedge to look after her for me. Iella took a liking to her, so did Wedge and Tycho, and it turned out that Tahiri was a good fit as an agent. She stayed with them, ended up doing a job with Ackbar and Winter right before Ackbar died, and Winter took a liking to her. The Antilles and the Celchus were with her when Will was born.”

Han swallowed and gave Anakin an uneasy smile. Anakin knew that smile; it was the smile his father wore when he was about to say something that was going to hurt him as much as it was going to hurt the person he was talking to.

“The reason, “ Han said in a strong voice, but then dropped his head. When he looked back up, he seemed so sad, and his voice matched that. “The reason that Tahiri wasn’t with us, is that she had a hard time when the mission ended accepting that you were gone. That was hard for your mother. She blamed your brother and sister for you not coming back; that was also hard for your mother, and for them. And, when you add that to the fact that your mother was less than thrilled to find out that Tahiri was pregnant, and that you two had this crazy idea that you were married…”

“It’s not crazy to us, and we are.”

“That’s pretty much what Tahiri said.”

Han stopped again and stared at his son, his expression telling Anakin with absolute certainty that they were standing on the precipice of a before and after moment; that for the rest of his life, he’d be able to mark time by what happened in this room, on this day, at this moment, and that nothing anyone did could change it once the words came out of his father’s mouth. He also knew that as painful as this was going to be, he had to hear what those words were.

“Your mother did not treat Tahiri very well. Those first few days, well, weeks really, after you were gone were not her most shining moments, and unfortunately, Tahiri bore the brunt of a lot of that.”

Anakin stared at his father for a long time, trying to process the words the man was saying; struggled to comprehend their meaning. Finally he said, “Are you telling me that my mother took her grief over my ‘death’ out on my pregnant wife?”

Han’s silence spoke volumes.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Anakin, you have no idea what it was like. And you have no idea what it has done to this family. I arranged things with Iella and Wedge because I trusted them to keep her safe and knew that I could keep a close eye on Tahiri and Will through them. It was the only way I could see to keep my promise to you and still keep the rest of my family, and I’d just lost you, right or wrong as they may have been, I couldn’t lose them too.”

Anakin sat horrified; imagining Tahiri alone all that time, suffering from the very thing he’d wanted so desperately to protect her from. She’d been so afraid when he’d left, and so much of what kept him going during those terrifying months on Myrkr was his belief that she and their son were safe and waiting for him with his family. He’d thought his father had understood, thought his father could be trusted to do the one thing he’d ever asked of him. Now, suddenly, he had images of his mother at her coldest, and it wasn’t hard for him to imagine. For all her strengths, for all the good qualities that she had, Leia Organa Solo also possessed a tendency to shut down and turn to ice when hurting.

Anakin hardly recognized his own voice when he asked his father; “What did Mom do to her?”

“I’m not sure that a blow by blow account of everyone’s least…”

“What did she do?” Anakin cut in, louder this time.

Han suddenly looked older than Anakin had ever seen him, and part of him, the part that was still a little boy, the part that saw this man as a hero, the part that wanted his approval and still needed to be forgiven for Sernpidal wanted to run back to the other edge of that precipice. But it was too late.

“She thought Tahiri should have waited until after the mission to tell you she was pregnant.”

“She thought it was Tahiri’s fault that I ‘died’?” he asked incredulously.

“I really don’t think this is going to do anyone one any good.”

“I’m not interested in your opinion. Did Mom blame Tahiri?”

“Yes, but Tahiri blamed Jaina and Jacen.”

“Jaina and Jacen left me there.” Anakin yelled.

“I know that Anakin, I know that now. But we didn’t know that then, and what were we supposed to do? What were we supposed to do?”

“You weren’t supposed to torment and then abandon the woman I love!”

“Anakin.” Tahiri’s voice was soft, and cracked in the middle of his name, and carried so much pain.

Anakin stopped, startled by her sudden appearance, caught his breath, and sank back into his bed, turning to face the viewport.

She walked forward, probing, feeling for him in their bond, trying to get him to look at her, acknowledge her, not turn all of the fury he was feeling toward his family in on himself. He ignored her, instead sank down into the inferno of anger building inside him.

He’d failed, yet again, and Tahiri had suffered.

He closed his eyes, tried to block everything out, but he could still hear their voices; heard Tahiri ask Han to please excuse them, she wanted to talk to Anakin alone, then heard his father’s response; he didn’t want to leave.

“If there’s anything I learned from Chewbacca’s death,” he was saying, “it’s that letting things fester only causes more damage. We need to work through this, we can’t just let it sit.”

“And if there’s anything I learned from Chewbacca’s death,” Anakin shot back, “it’s that in this family it’s every man for himself and that I need to watch my back and the backs of the two people who matter most to me. My wife asked you to leave, I’d appreciate it if for once someone would listen to her.”

When the door was finally shut, Tahiri walked to the bed and sat on the edge. She took Anakin’s hand in hers, but he didn’t grasp back, didn’t lace their fingers together, just continued to stare out the window.

He felt her pushing at him through the Force, felt her trying to get him to drop the wall he was holding up between them, felt her sorrow.

She leaned over, pressed her forehead into his temple and whispered, “talk to me.”

He shook his head quickly, tried to control the convulsive pumping of his chest, “I can’t. I… “

Finally, he wrenched his hand from hers, threw the covers off his legs and got off the bed. He walked around the room, then paced in front of her, running his hand through his hair savagely, then stopped and faced her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he boomed.

“What was I supposed to say?” she wailed, standing up to meet him.

“You were supposed to tell me what happened when I asked. You weren’t supposed to cover for them. You were supposed to be honest, not give me half-truths and cute little lies. I shouldn’t have to drag this out of you.”

When Tahiri tried to look down Anakin lurched forward, towering over her, and grabbed her face, forcing her to look into his eyes.

“You aren’t supposed to lie to me. You are always supposed to be honest with me. I expect them to lie and give me that ‘certain point of view’ crap. You are not allowed. You are never allowed.”

His tirade was cut short when he heard the small squeaking noises coming from her throat. Her lips were pressed tightly together, she was trying not to cry out, trying not to let any more noise escape, trying not to look away or pull from his grasp. Both of her hands were wrapped around his forearm, but not to keep him close - to keep her balance.

Anakin yanked his hand back, horrified by what he was doing, more horrified by the angry red marks left on her skin; one where his thumb had held her jaw, three more on the other side of her face where his fingers had held her cheek. He heard a faint clicking, and his mind vaguely registered it as the sound of Tahiri’s boot heels hitting the floor - she was wearing shoes - and he realized that the reason she’d been holding onto his arm, the reason she’d been off balance, was that she’d been standing on her toes while he’d been holding her up by her face.

“Oh, oh Tahiri… I’m…”

He didn’t know what to say, couldn’t find the words to express how sorry he was, or his own disbelief at what he had just done. And she just stood there, staring up at him, still gripping his arm, still trying to remain silent, trying to take the abuse he was dishing out, her eyes huge and more frightened than he’d ever seen them.

Frightened of him.

He reached back up to touch the bruising skin, and she flinched.

Anakin whirled around, looking for something to focus his rage on. Anything would do. The first thing his eyes fell on was a tall oxygen canister and he sent it sailing across the room. It didn’t explode, but it did meet several other pieces of equipment with a resounding crash. After that, the rest was child’s play; surgical instruments, rolling carts, IV stands, monitoring devices, linen racks, pillows, blankets, containers of various fluids, and finally the mattresses and med beds they’d been sleeping on for the past three weeks all met the walls, the floor and each other as Anakin used the Force, and his hands, to hurl everything not bolted down around the room.

He was dimly aware of the sound of Tahiri’s sobs as she dropped to her knees, crawled to a corner, and put her arms over her head. He was faintly aware of the flare in her Force presence as she reached out to shield their son from the fury Anakin was pouring into the Force.

He was vaguely aware of the fact that he was punishing the wrong person, but he simply couldn’t stop himself.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11
Breaking The Girl

29 ABY
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya, Ghost Nebula Sector
Eight weeks after Anakin's Return

Anakin lay flat on his back, panting, lightsaber pommel resting on his right palm.

The tattered remains of several spherical remotes surrounded his prone body, their fried circuits and melted casings scattered over a wide area. When he had yet again failed to catch even a third of the lasers being shot at him with the blade of his saber he'd given in to his frustration, opened his eyes and began to hack at the devices in rage.

Not very Jedi-like, but what did he care; he wasn't a Jedi anymore.

He took in a deep breath, tried to let the motion sooth him, then gave up in disgust, rolled over onto his stomach, and pounded the floor with his fists, angry again.

Those were seven of the last fifteen remotes he had. He'd already hacked up the other twenty-five Tahiri had gotten for him and it was going to take weeks to track down more. Of course, he'd probably hack those up as well.

He was alone in the workout room Tycho had assigned to Tahiri and her commandos. Tahiri was up in her office working, as usual, and the commandos were standing watch over Will and his new nanny, Paloma. At least Anakin thought that was the little Togruta's name.

Rumors had come in that another kidnapping attempt might be in the offing so the Commandos were standing over Will and the nanny whenever Tahiri was in her office. Actually, they were now standing over Will whenever Tahiri wasn't with him. They only seemed to grace Tahiri with their presence when she felt the need to kick great big giant asses.

She hadn't asked Anakin to work out with her since they'd arrived back on the Lusankya. Clearly sweeping the mats with her husband wouldn't provide enough of a challenge; Will would probably give her a better run for her creds. Or, maybe she feared that Anakin would get angry again and use the Force to strangle her.

They'd barely spoken in the month since they been here, at least not about anything more significant than Tahiri telling him where the clean towels were kept or what blanket Will liked to sleep with at nap time, or her informing him that he had yet another appointment in the med center.

They'd avoided the awkward issue of them sleeping in the same bed by Anakin foregoing sleep altogether, opting instead to spend his nights in meditation, or yet more healing or rejuvenation trances.

Eating together didn't present a problem; Tahiri ate in her office or on the go and Anakin didn't eat; he sipped, or, if he was lucky, the nutrition droid didn't puree his food long enough and chunks that roughly resembled food found their way into his cups and he almost got to chew.

Anakin looked at his wrist chrono, debated going home, then decided against it; what was the point? Even if there were someone there, what would they need him for?

His wife had proven handily that she could survive on her own. She'd done precisely what he'd asked her to do the night before he'd left Eclipse; she'd kept herself and their son safe while he was gone. She'd not only done that, but when turned out by his family she'd built a good life for herself. She hadn't needed his family after all, and she didn't need him.

His son was thriving; happy and healthy. Will was surrounded by caring people who had spent every day of his life showering him with love and affection. Will didn't squeal with unrestrained delight when Anakin walked into the room the way he did when the nanny, Wedge, Iella, Tycho, Winter, or even kriffing Bram and the other Commandos came in, he just looked at Anakin curiously.

Will didn't need him either.

His brother and sister hadn't cared enough to determine whether he was actually dead before blowing jets off the worldship; clearly they didn't need him. The Jedi were doing their passive 'we will only fight the fight that is brought to us' crap, they didn't need him, or his anger, or his desire to kill as many Vong as he could get in close proximity to. And if his parents had needed him then they wouldn't have left him with the Ralroost the way they had, regardless of whether or not he told them to.

That was all fine; Anakin didn't need any of them either.

What Anakin did need was another bunch of remotes to hack to shreds, and short of that, he'd take an old droid or three. He could probably inflict a fair amount of damage on a few of those and kriff anyone who wanted to lecture him about anger being of the Dark Side.

He was drinking his meals and might very well wind up with mechanical innards before he was twenty-one.

For the first time in his life he was feeling empathy for his grandfather.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ten weeks after Anakin's Return

Tahiri stood in the doorway of her bedroom; slack jawed.

It had been a running joke for years; she was the tidy one, Anakin was not. She'd been cleaning up after him since she was nine years old, but this wasn't 'messy', this wasn't 'untidy' - this was filth, and she wondered how anyone was capable of creating such a disaster in so short a time.

She'd only been off ship for three days.

Anakin lay on his stomach; sprawled out on the bed - the very bed he'd spent more than a month avoiding; each night looking at her as though she was asking him to sleep in a Sarrlac pit when she'd asked him to join her. His current position served to confirm her suspicions, her fears, that it wasn't the bed he had an issue with.

On the floor of the room, one every few meters, were empty med cups that had once contained the pureed liquid that had been serving as Anakin's diet. At least she hoped they were empty.

Melted plastic remote casings and fried wiring were strewn about as well. They looked to have been hacked at, and the scorch marks on the floor, walls and ceiling indicated that Anakin had been practicing with his lightsaber, had gotten frustrated with the remotes, again, and then taken his frustration out on the formerly round, fist sized devices scoring the walls in his anger.

Tahiri didn't want to know why he thought doing this in the bedroom was a good idea.

Dirty clothes littered the floor and she couldn't decide whether to be happy that he'd actually bothered to change his clothes while she'd been gone or annoyed that he'd ignored the hamper sitting next to the 'fresher door. She also couldn't imagine how he thought he could have gotten all of this cleaned up on his own before she returned; and finally decided that he must not have cared.

The disaster in front of her only proved that her feelings were irrelevant to him, that he blamed her for all that had gone wrong in his life. Leia had been right; telling him about Will before he left for the mission had been a mistake after all, had distracted him and caused him to get left behind. It was her fault that he wasn't speaking to his family, and while the idea of marriage and children was romantic in theory, the reality was a different story.

Anakin had made it abundantly clear since he'd been back that he had no interest in her, had no interest in being a husband. The only time he'd touched her since he'd woken up was the night he'd made the comment about her being dressed like Iella, though he'd been too weak to do anything other than kiss her and cuddle before falling asleep. Tahiri had eventually chalked that one hour of stolen intimacy up to his relief at being alive; figuring she probably could have been any warm body.

He'd also made it clear that he had no interest in their baby, had no interest in being a father. The only reason Tahiri could figure that Anakin was even going through the motions, half assed as his attempts were, was out of a sense of obligation, and she didn't need the guilt of trapping him in a life he didn't want to be in on top of the guilt she already felt for tearing him away from his parents and siblings.

What she was about to do was a gift. Setting him free would tear what was left of her heart out, but it would be better for all of them in the long run.

She had realized on the shuttle coming home a few hours ago how ironic this all was; she'd spent fourteen months in agony, longing for Anakin, sure that having a piece of her soul ripped out wouldn't be as painful as fearing him dead had been. She'd been certain that nothing the Shapers had done to her, could ever have done to her, could compare to what him being gone had felt like, and yet here he was, alive and living in her home, and he'd never been farther away. At least while Anakin was missing she'd been able to live under the delusion that he'd wanted her and their son.

Tahiri closed her eyes, bit her lower lip, tried to prepare herself for what she was about to do, accepted that she was as prepared as she was ever going to be and stepped over to the bed.

"Anakin." She called his name lightly, not wanting to startle him. He still had a hard time waking up, wasn't always sure where he was when his eyes first opened.

After a minute she tried again, this time she rubbed his arm and called his name in a louder voice.

Still nothing.

Several minutes later, her anxiety and hurt over what she was about to do, augmented by Anakin's lack of awareness, were sapping what little patience she had started out with. She hauled her foot back and kicked the edge of the bed. His response was to sigh, punch his hand into her pillow, and bury his face deeper into it.

Now she was getting angry.

She kicked the bed harder, not registering that when her boot heel hit the floor again that she'd triggered the knife in her toe until her third kick ripped a hole in the sheet and mattress. This made her even angrier, and her fourth kick, the one that finally got Anakin's attention, sent puffs of fabric and stuffing flying.

Anakin propped himself up on his elbows, peered up at her from under his hair and winced, before immediately dropping his gaze.

"Hey," he said to the pillow. He lifted a hand up to rub at his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose then, quietly asked, "When did you get back?"

"We landed an hour ago. I've been trying to comm you since we touched down."

Anakin rolled over and sat up. Taking in the state of the room, his eyes went wide, seeming as surprised as she had been to see the mess.

"Sorry about this, I'll pick up."

Tahiri closed her eyes, pinched the bridge of her own nosed, and sighed before dropping her hands to her hips. "Don't bother." Then carefully stepped over the obstacle course of debris to get to the dresser.

Anakin was just swinging his legs over the side of the bed when Tahiri hurled a bundle of fresh clothes at him; underwear, undershirt, sox, flight suit. She didn't mean to hit him in the head, but couldn't help the small glimmer of satisfaction when she did.

"Take a shower."

He seemed to get the hint, didn't argue, was already up and heading toward the 'fresher when she reached the bedroom door; had the water running by the time she'd reached the kitchen.

Ten minutes later Anakin shuffled in, clean, wearing the clothes he'd been given. He sat at the table just as she slid a plate of buttered toast in front of him and slammed down a glass of blue milk.

"I spoke with the MD-6, he said he gave you permission to start eating light solids two days ago."

She watched Anakin set his jaw and slide the plate away, but before he could say anything, she flicked her finger and slid the plate right back.

"Eat it." She ordered.

Staring at the table he ground out, "So I can throw it up in twenty minutes? No, but thank you."

"Alright, I'll find you something else. And if you can't hold that down I'll find something else."

"How incredibly sensitive of you."

"I've got a fully stocked kitchen and the rest of my life to cook for you."

"And if I don't want you to spend the rest of your life cooking for me?"

Tahiri fell back, felt her hip lean hard into the counter, felt her shoulders sag and her chin drop to her chest, felt something inside of her break as Anakin gave her the last bit of encouragement she needed.

"Fine. You want to keep drinking your meals, what do I care? It's your choice." Tahiri paused, swallowed the hurt that was threatening to choke her, and dove into the speech she had prepared and practiced while flying home. "Which brings up a whole list of other issues that are your choice. If you want to quit being a husband; fine. You're done."

Anakin stiffened visibly, but he didn't speak, didn't say anything, so she kept going.

"I release you from your obligation; it never really meant anything anyway."

He still didn't respond and a tiny voice inside of her begged him to; begged him to disagree with what she was saying, but he didn't.

"You want to quit being a father? You never asked to be a father anyway, and you clearly have no interest in him. It's okay, doing it alone is all I've ever known."

Still nothing, and the little voice inside of her grew louder, began to scream, 'Please Anakin, please, tell me you love us.'

Nothing.

"You want to quit being a Jedi? I can't fault you there; even I quit that. But before you were any of those things," here her voice hitched, and she looked down, concentrating on steadying herself so she could get through this - and he still hadn't looked at her. "Before you were any of those things, you were my friend, you were my best friend, but if you don't want to be that anymore…"

'I need you Anakin, please tell me you need me too.'

Tahiri felt a tear slip down her cheek, quickly wiped it away and shook her head. "Whatever. Choke down your toast or don't, but you need to comm Tycho, he wants you in a simm this afternoon. He and Wedge have a bet going; Wedge doesn't think he can have you flight ready by the end of the month. Regardless of who wins; you're to be building your squadron roster by the end of next month." In a quieter voice, with her heart twisting in her chest, she told him; "I think it would be better for both of us if you moved out. Tycho can tell you who to see for your new quarters. I'll have your things sent to you."

Anakin continued to stare at his toast. He didn't tell her he didn't want to go, didn't tell her he loved her; didn't tell her that he wanted to stay.

She'd been right, he didn't want to be here, didn't want her. Letting him go was the right thing to do because they couldn't go on living like this, him being miserable, and her waiting for him to work up the courage to leave on his own. She was doing the right thing for him.

Knowing that she wasn't going to be able to hold herself together much longer, knowing that her heart would never be the same, Tahiri turned to leave the kitchen. All she wanted now was to make it to the bedroom before she broke down, all she wanted was to be away from him so he wouldn't see how much this hurt her. If she could just get away, hide her pain so she didn't need to suffer the humiliation of him seeing what his rejection was doing to her she'd be okay, she'd find a way to be okay, just like she always did.

She hesitated for just a second as she was passing him, knew it was probably a waste of breath, knew that she'd hurt all over again when he never responded to her offer, but for Will's sake she had to make it; "If you ever want to see Will, spend time with him… you can comm me. We can work something out."

Still, he said nothing.

Tahiri walked the remaining few steps to her bedroom, closed the door, and felt her knees give out. She slid to the floor as the tears began again and she felt herself swallowed up by a gaping hole of agony, larger and deeper than anything she'd ever felt before.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12
You Know What The Sun’s All About When The Lights Go Out

29 ABY
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya
Five months after Anakin’s Return

Anakin took a deep breath, dropped into a crouch and gave Bram the most menacing glare he could muster… driven by the pain that still rocketed through his ribs.

Bram smiled back, motioned his fingers in a ‘bring it on’ taunt, but the smile disappeared when Anakin launched himself into the larger man’s gut and sent him sprawling.

“Nicely done, Colonel.” The man gasped when he could get words out. “I’m going to assume you didn’t use the Force to do that.”

Anakin wheezed out a laugh, stood up panting, then reached down to give Bram a hand.

“Never. Knocking you on your ass wouldn’t be anywhere near as satisfying if I had to resort to parlor tricks to do it.”

“Funny, your wife never seems to feel bad about it.”

Anakin swallowed the pain that any mention of Tahiri inevitably brought, and shook his head. “She shouldn’t; she’s half your size, and I’d prefer she not hesitate to use any weapons at her disposal if she’s in a real fight; practicing on you thugs keeps her sharp.”

“Oh, she’s sharp,” he laughed. “Knocked Stoker out cold the other day. Felt bad about it for a whole ten seconds too.”

Bram must have noticed the look on Anakin’s face, knew him well enough to recognize the change in his demeanor, because he placed a hand on Anakin’s arm and gave it a gentle squeeze before saying, “Hey, it’s going to work. And if it doesn’t work tonight, it’ll work tomorrow, or the next day. It’s all going to be okay.”

Anakin smiled and nodded at his friend, wished he felt half as confident as Bram, then decided - made a specific choice - to think positively. He and Tahiri had been through a lot, both together and apart; he was not going to allow himself to believe that it was really over between them, was not going to allow himself to believe that they didn’t have a future together. Despite all evidence to the contrary.

“Yeah,” Anakin finally breathed out, “we’ll see.” Striding over to his bag, he picked it up and, trying to brighten, said; “I’d love to stay and throw you around some more but I’ve gotta get to Dr. Abay’s office.”

“Right, where’d you leave off last time?” Bram asked, as he grabbed his own duffel and followed Anakin toward the door.

“With my feelings toward my good for nothing siblings for ditching me on the worldship, and how that ties into my feelings toward Han and Leia for ditching me with Winter as an infant, and how that all exacerbated my feelings about how they treated…” Anakin shook his head slowly and let out a long breath before he continued. “He was practically convulsing with disappointment when the session was up and I had to leave. I swear the man is a trauma junkie.”

Bram laughed again. “Of course he’s a trauma junkie; he’s a shrink.”

The last three months had held some of the most painful moments Anakin had ever known - worse, in many ways, than his time on Myrkr. At least there he had believed that if he could manage to get himself home, Tahiri would be waiting for him. That comforting feeling had been absent since the day she’d kicked him out - since she’d refused to speak to him.

His initial reaction, after her proclamation that he should find his own quarters, had been anger and indignation; how dare she act like their issues were only his fault; how dare she act like he was indifferent to her and their son. How dare she be so insensitive to the difficulty he was having getting re-acclimated after the ordeal he’d just been through. After Tahiri had barricaded herself in her room he’d hurled his plate of toast into the wall, then sent the glass of milk sailing after it and stalked down to the simulator room.

He’d spent hours after that vaping computerized ‘skips.

Tycho had been impressed with his scores that day; was as jubilant as Anakin could ever remember seeing the man, until Anakin had asked who he needed to see to be assigned his own quarters. The fact that Anakin refused to talk about what had happened with Tahiri didn’t help. Tycho, suddenly stone faced, had given Anakin the name he’d wanted, told him what time to report back the next day for training, then turned around and walked away.

Days had gone by before Anakin was able to appreciate just how supremely he’d kriffed up - accept that he was one hundred percent to blame for the situation he’d found himself in. Tahiri had tried to make things better, she had tried to reach him, and he’d done nothing but push her away.

He could tick off his mistakes as though reading a marketing list.

The day he’d learned how his family had treated her while he was gone, the day he’d bruised her face and trashed his med center room, he should have dropped down onto his knees, thrown his arms around her waist, hung on for dear life and begged her to forgive him.

He hadn’t.

Mistake number one.

When they’d returned to the Lusankya, Anakin shouldn’t have spent every night meditating or doing rejuvenation trances, or pretending to. He should have crawled into bed beside his wife, held her, told her how much he loved her, needed her, wanted her, and begged her to forgive him for wallowing in self-pity and shutting her out.

He hadn’t.

Mistake number two.

At least one of the times Tahiri had tried to make eye contact with him in the first several days after his med center meltdown he should have looked at her instead of avoiding her gaze.

He hadn’t.

Mistake number three.

All the times Tahiri had asked him to help her bathe Will, feed him, play with him, get on the floor and encourage him as he struggled to learn to crawl, read to him, rock him, take some interest in him, Anakin should have jumped at the opportunities to get to know his son.

He hadn’t.

Mistakes number four thru ten.

When his doctor had prescribed sessions with the ship’s psychiatrist to help him work through the trauma he’d suffered and the fall out with his family, he should have said ‘what a great idea’, made an appointment and kept it.

Instead, he’d told the doctor to go kriff himself.

Mistake number eleven.

When Tahiri had told him that it was fine if he wanted to quit being a husband, a father, a friend, he should have stood up and told her that he didn’t want to quit being any of those things, he just didn’t know how he fit in, didn’t know where he fit into the life that she had built for herself while he’d been gone, and that he needed her help.

But he hadn’t.

Mistake number twelve.

The one time he had actually done what she’d asked was when she told him to leave.

Mistake number thirteen.

Despite the loneliness, there had been bright spots.

A week after he’d moved out, he’d comm’d Tahiri to ask if he could see Will. She hadn’t answered her commlink so he’d left a message, thinking she’d call back and they would talk. He’d assumed that his effort would open the lines of communication and set them on the road to recovery. Instead he’d opened his door the following morning to be greeted by the nanny, Paloma, a Troguta girl, very sweet and capable, but deadly if provoked. Will had been in one arm, a printed page graphing Will’s weekly schedule in her other hand.

Anakin’s name was slotted into various squares on the graph; a note at the bottom of the page, in Tahiri’s neat script, informed him that she’d checked with Tycho to verify that the hours she’d assigned Anakin to spend with Will worked with his training schedule. She’d also written that if there were any conflicts she hadn’t accounted for Anakin was to let Paloma know and other arrangements would be made.

That incident made a couple of things very clear to Anakin; he was welcome to see his son, though his visits would be chaperoned by Paloma, who was always accompanied by at least two commandos, and that any hope he had of getting a chance to talk to Tahiri while passing their son off to each other was not going to happen. The realization had hurt Anakin, but he tried to focus on the positive; on the fact that she was not going to hold his son hostage as punishment for his behavior.

The bright spot in all of this was that it didn’t take long, or much effort, for Anakin to become one of the people who sent Will into a frenzy of squeals and giggles when he walked into the room, and soon Anakin found that the only thing in the galaxy that might compare to the feel of having Tahiri in his arms, was the feel of having his son in his arms.

He also made a friend, and an ally, in Paloma.

Another revelation, one that not only surprised but humbled him, was that Bram did not have a crush on Tahiri, he was not pining for Anakin’s wife or suffering from unrequited love; he admired her, he thought she was the strongest, brightest, most talented young women he knew, and he considered it a privilege and an honor to serve her in anyway she needed.

The humbling part came when Anakin learned that one of the few people Bram held in higher esteem than Tahiri was Anakin himself. Once Anakin realized that Bram was actually in awe of not only what Anakin survived on Myrkr, but what he had accomplished before that, and then got over the guilt he felt for his first uncharitable feelings for the man, he made another friend and ally.

It was Bram, and the other commandos, who trained with him, pushing him to help him regain his former strength, watched his diet and suggested various supplements and foods to nurture his digestive system, and it was them, and Paloma, who kept him updated on what Tahiri was doing – on how Tahiri was doing.

He eventually smoothed things over with the Antilles and the Celchus as well. They were all sympathetic to the difficulty he had upon his return from the dead; didn’t hold that against him. What they did hold against him was his treatment of Tahiri, but as things calmed down and they began to see how sorry he was, and that he was prepared to do anything to get her back, they joined the ever growing number of people willing to offer him all the help they could to make that happen.

Anakin’s nights were hard; he was plagued by memories of the past. He remembered with crystal clarity the night he and Tahiri had spent in the little cavern on Yavin Four, the night before she’d been captured, the night he first began to realize that he was in love with her.

“What are we, Anakin? A year ago you were my best friend.

“No one knows you like I do, and you don’t want anyone to…

“…the way you treat your other friends must really stink…”

It seemed he’d been making the same mistakes in their relationship for a long time, and he had to wonder how they’d managed to come as far as they had before he’d finally caused it to implode. If he had thought being stranded on Myrkr was painful, it didn’t begin to compare to the pain of losing Tahiri’s love and respect.

One night, while laying in the dark, arms wrapped tightly around himself, longing for the feel of Tahiri’s arms wrapped around him instead, he realized that part of the problem he’d had when he’d come home was that he’d been looking at her as Will’s mother, Iella’s protégé, Intel’s rising star, instead of just Tahiri. In an epiphany, not unlike the one he’d had that night on Yavin, he realized that all he had needed to navigate the rocky road of rebuilding his life was her.

Hard as he tried, he couldn’t understand why he had treated her the way he had after she’d spent so many years showing him over and over that she was the one person he could always trust. Since they were nine and eleven she had held his hand through everything, been his biggest supporter, most fierce protector. She was the one person he could say anything to, the one person who would never judge, who would always forgive, would always love, and he now knew, was reminded, that he didn’t just want to rebuild his life, he wanted to rebuild his life with her.

He could easily have told her how lost and confused he felt when he came back, that he felt helpless, useless, and like less than a man, and she would have held him tight, kissed away his fears, and made him feel safe and needed. And these were all the reasons he had wanted to spend his life with her in the first place, these were all the reasons he had known, even at sixteen, that she was the one.

But instead, he had pushed her away.

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Anakin looked around the apartment, checking everything for the twentieth time. He’d comm’d flight control thirty minutes ago; Tahiri should be arriving any time and everything needed to be perfect.

Will’s toys and books were all picked up and in their appropriate baskets. The throw blanket was folded neatly and draped over the back of the sofa. The holovids were in the right containers and filed back on the shelf by the holoplayer, in aureabechic order. The datapads were stacked neatly on Tahiri’s desk, exactly where they were supposed to be.

Paloma had checked the bedroom and given Anakin the thumbs up; nothing on the floor or under the bed, nothing out of place, not a scorch mark to be found on the floor, walls or ceiling, and the bed was made just the way Tahiri liked it. The thing he’d added, the special touch were the flowers.

Six containers sat on the dressers and nightstands. Old med cups, empty baby food jars, and a couple of glasses were the closets things he could find to vases and each held a bouquet of six carefully folded paper flowers made to look like yellow Ithorian tulips; Tahiri’s favorite. On her pillow was a seventh bouquet, the stems wrapped in an ice blue colored ribbon that was tied in a bow. Anakin had spent hours making the flowers; Will had helped, if eating the paper counted as helping. He prayed she’d like them, prayed she’d get the significance of the number of flowers.

The ‘fresher was clean; the towels hung neatly, dirty clothes in the hamper, the sink wiped clean of toothpaste and any signs that he’d shaved. Anakin had wiped down the shower door and lined up the bottles of shampoo and soap. He’d even made sure the toilet seat was down.

The nursery was tidy and the dirty diapers had been taken to the incinerator earlier in the afternoon.

Anakin, with Will in his arms, had run the carpet sweeper around the whole apartment, then run a cleaning cloth over all surfaces; the place was spotless.

Will was clean and jammied.

Anakin had given up bathing him in the tub ages ago, deciding it was far easier to just take the kid into the shower with him. Will seemed to enjoy it, didn’t mind being soaped up and then held under the cascading water. Tonight this had all been done after Anakin had spoon fed him one bowl of mashed vegetables and one bowl of mashed fruit. Half the food always seemed to wind up in Will’s hair, his nearly white curls plastered to his scalp after each meal and Anakin was dumbfounded to hear from Paloma that Tahiri didn’t have to bathe their son after every meal. Maybe, if this evening went well, she’d show him how she managed to get more food into Will’s mouth than on his head and Anakin and Will could cut down to one or two showers a day when they spent time together.

Anakin hugged his son to him, and inhaled that clean baby scent he’d grown to love, confident that Tahiri would be impressed with their son’s appearance.

He carried Will into the kitchen to check how dinner was coming. Lifting the lid off the pot of simmering csolcir, he leaned in and smelled that too.

“What do you say, Will of the Force? Will Mommy like it? Uncle Wedge says this is her favorite Corellian dish. Think she’ll be impressed?”

Will furrowed his little blonde brows and babbled earnestly, causing his father to laugh and kiss his head.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

Wedge had promised that Tahiri would be pleased by his menu choice, she’d always loved it when Wedge had made it himself, and it was ‘relatively easy to do’; Wedge-ese for ‘even you can’t screw this up’. The ingredients had been hard to come by, but Stoker and Junip had friends in food procurement who owed them favors and, though it had taken days, they’d managed to scrounge up what Anakin needed. The important thing, the part everyone was counting on, was that Tahiri would know how difficult it was to find the ingredients and would therefore know how hard Anakin had worked to put this evening together.

Anakin looked over the table next.

Paloma had assured him it looked great; the tablecloth and napkins were a beautiful antique lace that belonged to Iella. Anakin had accepted the contribution gladly, not questioning how she’d come by fine linens in the middle of a war, or why she had them with her.

Tycho had taken the candlesticks from the senior officer’s dining room; the candles themselves had been donated by Bram. Again, Anakin hadn’t asked questions, simply accepted the offering gratefully.

The plates and utensils were Winter’s; Alderainian patterns she’d found at a bazaar on Deyer years ago and happened to have stored with her on Mon Cal when Coruscant fell. He’d left those in the kitchen by the cook top. He didn’t want it to seem too obvious to Tahiri that he was trying to wine and dine her; he wanted to leave her an out; wanted her to be able to thank him for not trashing her place while she’d been gone, say goodnight and show him the door. But, if she showed the slightest interest in letting him stay, in letting him serve her dinner and share it with her, he’d be ready.

He thought the anticipation alone would kill him though – tonight would be the first time they’d actually be seeing each other since the day she’d kicked him out.

The wine glasses were standing with the plates. They were cheap, standard, and would only be holding water. Anakin’s stomach still couldn’t tolerate alcohol, and Tahiri was still nursing, but that was okay; their presence was symbolic, simply there to add to the overall effect he was trying to achieve.

Will yawned widely and rubbed a small fist into his eye. Anakin cupped his head and tucked it under his chin, swaying gently, debating giving him a bottle and putting him to bed.

His plan had been to keep him up, thinking that Tahiri would appreciate seeing him, would like to spend a little time with him before tucking him in herself. Anakin could only imagine how hard this must have been for her, how much she must have missed him. She’d never left him before, never been away from him, and had only agreed to leave him with Anakin because Paloma and Bram had been reporting for weeks how good Anakin had gotten with him, how capable and loving Anakin was with their son, and had sworn to keep a close eye on them.

When Paloma had first informed Anakin that Tahiri was scheduled for a four to five-day mission and would be leaving in two days, Anakin had felt a surge of grief; the idea of being away from his son was painful. An hour later, Anakin called Paloma and asked her to ask Tahiri if she would consider leaving Will, and an ample supply of milk, with Anakin instead of taking him with her. Paloma called back less than four minutes later; Tahiri had said no.

Anakin had Paloma ask Tahiri again a couple of hours later, this time giving a list of reasons why Will’s staying with him was a good idea; the stress of travelling with Will was always hard on Tahiri. She wouldn’t need to take Paloma, she wouldn’t need to take the commandos, she wouldn’t need to take the arsenal, or her hair clip…

Paloma comm’d back after another hour to say that Tahiri was thinking about it, but not to get his hopes up.

That was no problem; Anakin was becoming a pro at not getting his hopes up.

He’d supplied another list shortly after that; if Tahiri didn’t need to take breaks from her meetings, or whatever it was she was slated to do, in order to feed or spend time with Will, her trip might be shorter. She wouldn’t have to travel with a crib, toys, diapers, baby food, she wouldn’t need to worry about Will getting sick and having to rely on a med droid that didn’t know Will’s health history. He knew that was a little manipulative, and Tahiri didn’t take Will to the med bay as often as she had when Anakin had first gotten back, but she did seem to have an odd obsession with having him examined by medical personnel on a regular basis.

Finally, the morning Tahiri was to leave, Paloma called Anakin to report that Tahiri had given in, she would leave Will with Anakin, and was in the process of writing out a detailed schedule that she expected to be followed to the letter, and that Anakin was to stay at her place while she was gone. Anakin was elated and had immediately called Tahiri to thank her. Of course she didn’t answer the comm, but he left her a message, telling her that he appreciated her trusting him, and that he and Will would be fine.

He also promised to keep her place clean.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13
Magnet and Steel

29 ABY
Tahiri’s quarters, Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya
5 months after Anakin’s Return

Anakin flicked a finger towards the stereo to turn on some music - something soothing - then hugged his baby closer to his chest and continued to sway and rock Will around the living room. He closed his eyes, opened himself to the Force, reached out to his little boy, and smiled when he felt his little boy reach back.

Even though he was only nine months old Will was already able to do things that most Force sensitives far older than him weren’t able to; he could levitate toys, call objects to himself that were across the room, convey emotions and needs to his parents - and he could shatter glass when angry; not one of Anakin’s favorite things.

What was one of Anakin’s favorite things was feeling Will use the Force to touch him. It was similar to how Anakin and Tahiri used to reach for each other, the way their emotions would meld together. It wasn’t as strong or intense with Will by any means, it was like having a conversation with Tahiri would be different than having a conversation with Will; the desire and the intent were there, but the sophistication wasn’t.

Will suddenly wiggled in Anakin’s arms and strained to turn toward the door. A moment later it slid open to reveal Tahiri, and Anakin’s breath caught in his throat.

She looked exhausted, but even more beautiful than he remembered.

A wide smile lit her face as she glided in, dropped her bag, and opened her arms to take Will.

“Hi, baby.” She whispered as she closed her eyes and leaned her forehead into his and smoothed her palm over his hair. “Momma missed you so much.” She leaned back to look at him, grasped one of his hands and pulled it up to her mouth to kiss his fingers, then kissed his cheek. “Did you miss Momma?”

“He has,” Anakin answered for him, “a lot.”

Tahiri looked up at Anakin, her smile smaller, but still there. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

They stood looking at each other for a long moment, neither saying anything until Anakin forced himself to break the silence.

“Uhm… I know it’s past his bedtime… but I called flight control - they said you’d be here soon… and I knew you’d want to see him… I thought maybe you’d want to nurse him to sleep…” He let the sentence trail off, not sure where to go next.

“Actually, that would be astral, I’m about to explode. Thank you for thinking of it.”

“Sure. He’s all ready to go. He had some fruit and vegetables earlier, not in that order - I stuck to your instructions. And he’s had a bath, well, actually a shower. It’s easier that way… for me… to shower him… with me. And I just changed his diaper, and those are clean pajamas. At least I think they’re pajamas, it’s hard to tell with some of his clothes, but they don’t have snaps or zippers so I figured they’d be okay to sleep in, but if you want to change him…”

Anakin stopped when he noticed that Tahiri had an amused look on her face and he wasn’t sure if she was laughing ‘with him’ or ‘at him’.

“These are pajamas, but you’re right; some of them are hard to tell apart.” She turned toward the kitchen, a curious look on her face. “Do I smell food?”

Anakin put one hand on his hip, and with the other reached up and scratched his head, looked toward the kitchen himself, then back at Tahiri.

“Ah… yeah, I thought you might be hungry… I made a little something… for us… to eat. If you want to put him down, it should be ready in about twenty minutes.”

Anakin held his breath and waited for her to answer. Waited for her to say ‘thank you for babysitting, you can go now’, waited to have his heart ripped out of his chest, watched as she seemed to debate how to respond.

“Um… I’m kinda tired… and grungy…”

“That’s okay,” Anakin cut in hurriedly. “I can just throw it in the fridge. You can eat it tomorrow, or, whenever. I’ll just grab my stuff and let you two...”

“Anakin?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I take a quick shower after I put him down, or will that ruin what you made?”

“No, no, that won’t ruin anything. It’s just csolcir. I think, if I did it right, it could probably sit for days and still be okay.”

He caught the slight tilt of Tahiri’s head, knew that tilt; knew all her little quirks and mannerisms, and this one meant that she was trying to figure out what he was up to. But then she smiled at him, at him.

“Okay,” her voice was soft, just above a whisper, “why don’t you say goodnight to your son?”

She turned Will slightly, and Anakin moved forward, placed his left hand on Tahiri’s waist to draw her closer, placed his right hand on Will’s back as he leaned in and kissed the little forehead.

“I’ll see you in the morning, buddy.”

Will looked up at him, but Anakin was too focused on where his hand was resting, on the fact that Tahiri had let him touch her, hadn’t removed his arm from his body, to fully appreciate the loving smile his son was giving him. He would have felt bad about his neglect if he hadn’t been doing mental backflips from joy.

Tahiri ignored his hand, or at least didn’t remark on it, simply said, “I’ll be out in a while,” before disappearing into Will’s room.

Anakin nodded after her, then busied himself with finishing the table; he laid out the utensils, lit the candles, poured the water, bubbly, just for fun, then paced the living room, waiting.

When Tahiri reappeared, thirty-six minutes after she’d left, she looked even more beautiful. Her damp golden curls hung loose to her shoulders, and she wore a tattered tank top, a hint of smooth skin bare between it and the baggy sleep pants that just clung to her hips. Anakin would have recognized those pants anywhere; she’d stolen them from him on the Venture.

Unfortunately, she also wore a pensive expression that worried him; had he gone too far with the flowers? If he had, he’d likely gone too far with everything else and this was all going to be too much too fast.

Positive, think positive.

The goal for the evening was to be friendly; friends can make dinner for friends. It didn’t have to be anything more than that. It didn’t have to be anything she didn’t want it to be - he wasn’t going to push, but he sure as hell was going to be available for anything she did want. He was going to make wanting him back as easy as possible.

Plastering a friendly smile on his face, Anakin pulled a chair away from the dining table, “Here, have a seat, I’ll bring out the food.”

Tahiri’s expression changed from pensive to curious again, but when he reached out to her through what used to be their bond he was met by the same wall that had stymied him for months. It didn’t feel quite as thick as usual, and the frayed around the edges sensation was a little more pronounced, but she certainly wasn’t welcoming him in. He wondered how non-Force users navigated relationships because this was driving him insane.

He came back in a few minutes later and set the plates down, pleased by the smile that blossomed on Tahiri’s face.

“Goodness, what did you blackmail Wedge with to get this recipe?” She asked as she dug in.

Anakin frowned, “Nothing, he offered it.”

Tahiri looked genuinely surprised. “I’ve been trying to get him to cough it up for months…” She stopped short, a look of comprehension lighting her features. “And the ingredients?”

“Uhmm…” Anakin suddenly felt caught out, even though the whole point was for her to understand that he’d worked hard for this. “The commandos helped.”

Tahiri rested her hand on the table and looked at Anakin, really looked at him, held his gaze for a long moment, then asked, “And you can eat this?”

He’d been hoping she wouldn’t ask that, still found it hard to talk about, hated how pathetic it made him feel that he still couldn’t hold down much food; that his body still rejected most of what he attempted to put into it – but if he wanted her back, he couldn’t hide from her.

He gave her a lopsided grin and admitted, “I pulled a little out for myself before I added the last of the spices. I’ll be fine.”

She continued to stare at him, and finally asked, “Anakin, why did you do this?” There was a hint of fear in her voice, like she wanted the answer, but was prepared to not trust it.

He cleared his throat, looked down - then forced himself to look back up. “I wanted to do something nice for you.”

She kept staring at him, seemed to be trying to decide how to interpret his answer and it hurt that she had to do that, that she couldn’t just accept what he’d said.

Fearing that he was about to lose the moment, lose her, he mentally scrambled for something to say, something non-threatening, something that wasn’t about them or how badly he’d screwed up their relationship.

“So, how was the mission? What were you doing?”

Tahiri picked her hand back up, dug into her food, took a bite, and swallowed. “Mmmm… this is wonderful. You did a great job. It’s a good thing Tionne never knew you had it in you to cook. You’d never have gotten out of kitchen duty.”

“Tahiri, what was the mission?”

She cleared her throat, took a sip of water and sighed. “An infiltration unit I’ve been working with brought a group of Shamed Ones in; they asked for asylum. It’s unprecedented; no Yuuzhan Vong have ever surrendered. Well, not without their version of a suicide vest on. Iella sent me over to debrief them.”

“And?”

“And,” she shrugged, “I debriefed them.”

“And?”

“And, the information I got is classified.”

“Did they recognize you?”

“Yeah,” she admitted unhappily. “For a while there I actually deluded myself into believing that I could get away with not being ‘the Jeedai who was shaped’. No scars, no lightsaber, I didn’t even levitate anything in front of them.”

Anakin chuckled, and Tahiri sighed heavily, her frustration painfully clear.

“I suppose it was naïve of me to think they’d miss who I was, but I’m the only agent qualified to handle something like this, so I couldn’t not go.”

“I guess that means you’re still the only stunning, green-eyed blonde fluent in Yuuzhan Vong running around the galaxy.”

Tahiri blushed faintly, dropped her gaze, twisted her fork into her food, and again, it hurt Anakin that she seemed hesitant to believe his words; acted like she wasn’t sure she could trust that he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the universe.

Anakin swallowed his disappointment, swallowed the bite of food in his mouth, then attempted something he’d spent his whole life trying to avoid; making small talk.

They discussed all the things Will had done, eaten, tried to eat, thrown, and called to himself while she’d been gone. Tahiri confessed that she was at a loss as to how to break him of the habit of using the Force to hurl toys around the room, though she had developed a theory that he only seemed to do it when he was bored or wanted attention. A frightening reality if true.

Anakin told her about the squadron he was building, Wedge and Tycho’s frustration with how long it was taking him, and his explanation for why it was taking so long.

“I’m asking these people to put their lives on the line every day, to trust me, and to trust each other. I’m trying to select pilots based on more than just their sim scores. I want a tight unit, a cohesive group that can truly work together, not just a bunch of individual hot shots.”

“I’d think Wedge would be behind you on that. Wasn’t that sort of the model he used when he was putting the first Wraiths together?”

“They were more of a multi tasking bunch, and Wedge was pulling wash-outs from all over who were willing to do anything to stay in a cockpit and out of the brig. I’m going more for personalities that fit with mine and with each other. I’ve actually been trying to get Dr. Abay to help me with psych evals, determine what these guys will do under pressure; how they will be with each other under stress. I’ve been putting groups of the pilots I like together to see how they interact. I’ve cut several really good pilots because I didn’t like the way they responded to pilots I genuinely like who had lower test scores. I want them to be able to hang out together, want to spend time together, not just fly at the same time because it’s their job.”

Anakin looked up from his plate to see Tahiri smiling at him.

“What?” he asked, suddenly self-conscious.

“You’re trying to build a family.”

Anakin raised his eyebrows slightly, realized she was right, then smiled and let his head bob around lazily. “Yeah, maybe. A family of pilots who will stand together, take care of each other, no matter what.”

“It’s a good idea, and you’re an excellent leader; you’ll have the top squad around in no time.”

Anakin ducked his head again for a second before looking back up and saying, “I don’t know about that. I’ll just be happy if I can manage to keep them all alive for awhile.”

“I can’t see how Wedge and Tycho could fault you for taking your time to achieve that goal.”

“They’re not really that put out, but they do like to tease.”

“Don’t I know it; and their wives are even worse. If they suggest I requisition my own MD droid one more time…”

Anakin laughed. “He’s perfectly healthy, Tahiri.”

“Oh, don’t you start too. The only baby I’d ever laid eyes on before Will was born was Ben Skywalker. There’s nothing wrong with me wanting to make sure our son is developing normally,” she defended, and Anakin did another mental jump for joy because she’d referred to Will as ‘our son’.

They were both still smiling when Tahiri scooted her chair back to stand up, reaching for his plate as she did. Anakin placed his hand on hers, rubbing his thumb across it.

“Let me do that, you go relax.”

“Wow,” she said gently, “someone alert the press: Anakin Solo is volunteering to do dishes.”

“Only for you.”

His comment hung between them for a long time as they looked at each other.

Finally Tahiri nodded, “Maybe... I’ll go unpack.”

“Okay.”

She pulled her hand away, slowly Anakin was pleased to note, and stood and walked to her room.

Anakin was finished with the dishes and had everything put away, just the way Tahiri liked it, in no time. He’d done everything during the evening he’d set out to do; they’d spent time together, talked, looked at each other - Anakin hadn’t dodged her gaze once, at least not for any significant length of time. They’d even laughed together. They hadn’t discussed their relationship, but maybe now that might be possible.

Heading back into the living room, he looked around again; there really wasn’t anything else to do. It was time to call it a night.

He was just reaching for his bag when Tahiri came back out of her room, the bouquet from her pillow, the one tied with the ice blue bow in her hand.

“The flowers are beautiful, thank you.”

He smiled softly at her. “You’re welcome. I’m sorry they aren’t the real thing. You have no idea how hard it is to find live tulips on a battleship in the middle of a war.” He hoped the tone of his voice was light; didn’t carry the desperation he was feeling.

“These are better,” she admitted, running her fingers down the shimmersilk ribbon, “they won’t die when I forget to water them.”

“Well, there is that.” He cast around for something else to say, some reason to delay his departure, noted the dark circles beneath her eyes, and decided he really ought to let her get some sleep. “I guess I should…”

“Anakin?” she asked, looking up at him; her voice small and uncertain, “why did you really do all of this?”

Anakin dug down deep for all the courage he could find, stepped up to Tahiri and raised his hand to cup her face. He willed his arm not to shake as his fingers touched the soft skin of her cheek, tried to put aside the memory of the last time he’d done so, and instead think of the thousands of times he’d touched her before that.

“Like I said; I wanted to do something nice for you. It’s not nearly what you deserve, and I know it’s long overdue…”

Tahiri continued to look at him, her eyes wide and pleading. She seemed to be waiting to hear more, seemed like she wanted to hear more; so he kept going - he took another step forward, lifted his other hand to caress her jaw, silently thanked the Force, and the stars, and any deity that might actually exist because she hadn’t flinched or pulled away, and he kept going.

“I did it because... I love you, and I miss you, and I really want to come home.”

Two tears fell from her eyes and slid down her cheeks, and Anakin leaned forward, pressed his lips to her forehead, then her temple, then dropped his mouth next to her ear and whispered, “Forty-two my love, forty-two,” because what no one else knew, what no one else could possibly understand, was that ‘forty-two’ wasn’t just a reference to their ‘supposed’ marriage, it wasn’t just a long standing joke, or a hammer to beat his mother over the head with. ‘Forty-two’ was a way for a boy who was never good with words to tell the girl he adored all that she was to him.

‘Forty-two’ meant ‘I love you’, ‘I need you’; ‘I’m incomplete without you’. ‘Forty-two’ was a reminder. ‘Forty-two’ was a promise. And as Anakin stood there, holding Tahiri's face in his hands, completely open to her in the Force, ‘forty-two’ was an apology; a plea for forgiveness for the pain he had caused her, and an oath to never let it happen again.

When Tahiri opened herself to him, nodded her head, and reached up to touch her lips to his, ‘forty-two’ was acceptance, absolution, and the beginning of a new life.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14
Back To Life, Back To Reality

30 ABY
Veila/Solo Quarters, Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya, Stassia System
18 months after Anakin’s Return

Tahiri tilted her chin and let out a ragged breath as her heart rate began to slow.

Anakin was pleased to feel her contentment as the brilliance of her excitement began to fade while he laid a slow trail of kisses down her throat. Even after – according to Dr. Abay – the impressive number of times they’d made love, the fact that he could consistently elicit such a response often got him excited enough to go again.

But this time another presence stopped him dead in his tracks. He rested the crown of his head where his mouth had just been and chuckled.

“Incoming.”

Tahiri let out another deep, throaty sigh. “At least he’s considerate enough to give us time to finish.”

“I’ve bribed him to stay in his crib until we’re done.” Anakin confessed, his own voice still rough.

“With what?” The sound of delight he knew so well had been replaced over the years by a deeper laugh, not a giggle as often, but the emotion was the same.

He pushed himself up slightly, so he could look into her eyes, and slowly traced a hand along her body; his fingers danced along her ribs, then slid down to her waist. She sighed again, and smiled up at him as she draped her arms around his neck, and he continued his manual exploration; waist to hip, hip to knee, knee to ankle, then tucked her leg tightly into his side.

“I told him I’d buy him his own X-Wing when he turns two if he agreed to hang out in bed every morning until I’ve finished ravaging ‘Mama’.”

“And did you specify the size of the X-Wing you’d be buying him?” she asked, suspiciously.

“What are you, his lawyer?” he countered in disbelief. “I figured you’d be on my side?”

“Oh, I’m on your side,” she smiled wickedly, but then grew thoughtful, motherly. “You don’t think we’re doing any damage to him, do you?”

“If we are, I’m sure the MD droid will let you know.” Anakin teased.

Tahiri slapped his arm. “I’m being serious. What if he grows up and has memories of being bought off so we can…”

“Ravage each other?” He finished for her.

“Yeah. What if he feels neglected and that causes some kind of syndrome or something?”

“What parenting manual did you fall asleep reading last night?”

They’d had this conversation more than once and for all the ways in which his wife was progressive, and unconventional, and a risk taker, she was quite the opposite in her parenting. Anakin had actually wondered - though not aloud - if Shimrra’s fear of, and interest in, Will had simply provided Tahiri with a convenient excuse to have a military squad watching over their son around the clock. He sort of thought that she’d have found another reason had the Yuuzhan Vong not provided one for her.

Of course Anakin hadn’t had to kill a man with his bare hands in order to protect Will weeks after his birth, so he kept his mouth shut and indulged her, only lightly mocked her, and had learned very quickly when and where he could poke fun.

Tahiri squinted at him and held her hand out and called the nightgown Anakin had taken off of her a mere thirty minutes earlier up from the floor.

“Forgive me for not wanting to damage our son’s psyche.”

Anakin leaned back down, pinning her to the bed again, and began nipping at her throat in the very spot he’d left off, murmuring in between kisses, “Having parents who enjoy showing each other affection is not going to damage his psyche, and the last thing our son is is neglected.”

She pinched his ribs lightly, “Get off me and get dressed before he gets in here.”

“We’ve got time; he’s skulking.” But Anakin rolled onto his back anyway, and reached for the sleep pants on the floor beside the bed, pulling them on under the blanket.

“Do you think other parents have toddlers who skulk?” She wondered.

“I’m sure the MD droid can tell you.”

He laughed again as Tahiri pulled his pillow out from under his head and whacked him with it.

She had her nightgown back on and was just lying down again when a mop of curly blonde hair appeared at the foot of their bed. Tahiri and Anakin both stifled laughs as their son ducked under the covers, climbed up onto the mattress, and slinked towards them; his young mind wholly unable to comprehend that they could see him when he couldn’t see them.

The small body wiggled up the bed and popped out from under the blankets.

“Wiwl he-uh!” Will announced, sitting up on his knees and grinning happily.

“Good morning, Will of the Force!” Anakin greeted, pulling his boy to his chest for a hug. “Did you have a good night?”

“Goo nigh. Coow-kie por Wiwl?”

“No cookies before breakfast,” Tahiri informed, as she did every morning.

Will didn’t seem disappointed, more resigned, since they went through the same routine day after day and Tahiri had yet to relent. Will was as stubborn as his mother though so Anakin knew his son wasn’t going to stop asking, just like he knew his wife wasn’t going to stop saying no.

If Will ever ratted him out, ever let Tahiri know that Anakin gave him tons of cookies before breakfast when she wasn’t there, he’d be in serious trouble.

“C’mon, big guy,” Anakin said, throwing back the covers and scooping Will up into his arms, “lets see what we can scrounge up; maybe if we bring Mama breakfast in bed she’ll lighten up and let us have cookies.”

Anakin laughed again and ducked out the bedroom door just as a pillow came sailing towards him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two hours later Anakin lay sprawled out on the sofa in the living area, a data pad in one hand, Tahiri’s very large cup of caf in the other, happily watching his wife and son crawling around on the floor, laughing and squealing. They were playing a game they both loved; Will would hide behind various pieces of furniture, Tahiri would pretend she had no idea where he was, then she’d catch him and smother him with kisses until they were both breathless, so glad that she’d finally found him again.

Besides the datapad in Anakin’s hand, more datapads lay on the floor nearby; one was a translation Tahiri was working on; boring…. One was the morning’s Fleet news; nothing terribly interesting there given that the military refused to publish anything that had ever been classified; Anakin had discarded it in favor of the datapad Tahiri’s Intel assistant had delivered a short time ago. It contained the notes from the meetings she hadn’t attended yesterday because she’d been working at her other job; being Anakin’s XO.

They’d quit fighting about him reading her ‘Class II and above clearance only’ documents months ago. He’d reasoned that surely Wedge and Tycho were reading their wives’ reports, and besides, a lot of the information in those reports pertained to Tahiri and Will and the Yuuzhan Vong’s dangerous obsession with them. Anakin felt he had every right to know what the crazy scarheads were saying about his family.

Anakin took a sip from the caf cup and grimaced slightly. He didn’t know why he bothered; his body wouldn’t have been able to absorb many nutrients from the liquid if it had nutrients to offer, and he didn’t particularly love the taste. He supposed it made him feel human and adult - to sip caf in the morning while catching up on current events. He tried not to spend too much time thinking about the psychology behind it - that was Dr. Abay’s job; figuring out the psychology behind all of Anakin’s behavior. Or, at least that’s what Anakin told himself.

Will climbed onto the sofa and Anakin turned onto his side, making room for his son to lean against his stomach, as Tahiri put a vid in the holplayer; an ‘educational vid’, the only kind Will was allowed to watch. This one would be teaching him the aurebesh in Basic. Knowing Tahiri, she’d have him reading and writing in several languages by the time he was three.

Anakin didn’t need Dr. Abay’s help to understand the psychology behind that.

Though Tahiri would surely have scored at genius level or above if Luke had ever tested his Praxeum students for such things, though she was as bright or brighter than anyone Anakin knew, she’d been illiterate when they’d met.

The moment Tahiri realized that all the other candidates in her and Anakin’s Academy class knew and understood the written code that corresponded to the Basic language, and she didn't, extreme shame and embarrassment had set in. Anakin had tried to soothe her, reason with her; that had been a joke. He tried to tell her that having been raised in the desert by nomads with no access to formal education, computers, the holonet… of course she wouldn’t know how to read or write, and, in actuality, the sophistication of her vocabulary was amazing, considering she’d barely had anyone to speak to in Basic since she’d been a tiny girl.

None of that had made her feel any better.

By her third week on Yavin Four, Tahiri’s private lessons with Tionne simply weren’t getting the job done fast enough as far as she was concerned, so Anakin had taken it upon himself to tutor her during their free time; when they weren’t sneaking off to try to solve the riddle of the Golden Globe, that is.

Reading proved fairly easy for Tahiri once she got a handle on the aurebesh itself. Writing legibly was harder; it took them weeks to figure out that she was left handed, then a few more for Anakin to figure out how to teach her to hold a stylus using her left hand. Because she was a perfectionist, because she wanted to know how to do everything and hated to be slowed down by the time it took to actually learn how to do it, a trait they were both guilty of possessing, Tahiri’s frustration level was on high for quite a while. When she’d burst into tears at one point Anakin remarked that if she’d cried this much on Tatooine her tribe shouldn’t have had to move around very much in search of water.

He should have thought about that one for a while before letting it out but he learned a valuable lesson himself that day and he didn’t comment on her tears again for years.

One thing very few people knew about Tahiri, one of the things that Anakin found most attractive about her, was that she was one of the most well read people he knew. She read everything, anything; her greatest lament while stuck on Eclipse was the lack of reading material she hadn’t already plowed through. The interesting thing was that while she was innately curious enough, and read fast enough, to have already gone through a phenomenally wide range of topics by the time she was sixteen, not one had really grabbed and commanded her attention for any length of time. Where Anakin would read everything he could get his hands on that pertained to mechanical engineering, could lose himself for hours perusing the holonet for new information about ships and engines and flying, Tahiri simply hadn’t found any one thing that really captured her interest.

Until Will.

She’d read more parenting advice and research than Anakin was comfortable with. Winter had actually told him at one point that Anakin’s timing was perfect; he couldn’t have come back from the dead and gotten his act together at a better moment; he’d arrived on the scene just in time to prevent Tahiri from engaging in some of her less wise ideas. Thanks to his father’s intervention, Will was not playing musical instruments, slicing computer programs, learning martial arts, mastering sign language, and doing quadratic equations before he could walk.

Anakin understood where Tahiri was coming from; she was trying to be the perfect mother. She was trying to be everything in a mother that she hadn’t had. She was trying to give her son every advantage, trying to pour every ounce of love and attention into Will that Cassa hadn’t had the opportunity to pour into her, and dammit, she was going to make sure Will never caught a cold while she was doing it.

Tahiri’s neurosis would have been a little much to bear were it not for how sweet she was about it, or how sweet she was with Will. Some of Anakin’s favorite memories, scenes that would play in his mind’s eye as long as he lived, were of Tahiri and Will - her rocking him, nursing him, reading to him, playing on the floor with him, the absolute delight she took in every developmental milestone he conquered. Whatever faults she may have, whatever issues they as a couple had needed to address, and were still working on, the one thing that no one could possibly find fault with in Tahiri was her mothering.

Anakin had also sat Tahiri down shortly after they’d gotten back together and assured her that they’d have Will slicing, dicing, kicking, and programming jumps, all while singing at the top of his lungs, well before he started school. She had absolutely nothing to worry about because where Tahiri wanted Will to have all the love and support she hadn’t had as a child, Anakin wanted him to win.

Iella had summed them up succinctly by announcing that they were totally average parents.

Once she had Will’s vid started, Tahiri crawled over to the sofa then stood up on her knees and stole her datapad out of Anakin’s hands with a wide grin.

“Hey,” he protested.

“Hey yourself. I don’t remember you being given clearance, and I need to get some work done before we fly today.” She leaned forward and kissed him, then pulled back just far enough to give him a saucy grin and purred, “I’ll make it up to you later.”

Anakin’s grin was just as saucy. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Hmmmmm… As long as you hold me, you can do anything you like to me.”

Anakin leaned forward and gave her another kiss and smiled against her lips when he felt a small chubby arm go around his neck.

He opened his eyes and smiled wider to see his son’s little round face looming next to his and Tahiri’s, cheeks nearly pressed to theirs; knew the matching small chubby arm would be wrapped around his wife’s neck.

Will had no interest in being left out of any loving.

“Mama Dada wuwv Wiwl too,” he instructed.

Anakin and Tahiri both laughed, then turned their mouths toward Will’s cheeks and neck and peppered their son with kisses and raspberries, both holding onto his body when he began to squirm and shriek from their onslaught.

Finally, Tahiri stopped and drew back. “Enough,” she told Anakin when she could talk. “If we don’t let him breathe we might kill some brain cells.”

Anakin laughed again. “That’s okay. I gave him genius DNA, he’s got brain cells to spare.”

Tahiri rolled her eyes and swatted him on the head, then picked up the forgotten datapad and turned around to sit, leaning her back against the couch, relaxing.

Anakin settled back on his side, and pulled Will into his stomach.

Will giggled delightedly at something the Gungan on his vid was doing, and Anakin wondered mildly if a Gungan was the right species to be teaching his son about diction and grammar, then rubbed a hand over Will’s head. He watched him stick a piece of fruit Tahiri had given him into his mouth and chew happily, lips wide apart, smiling in glee, drool dripping slowly down his chin.

Will still had not had any cookies yet this morning - at least - not any that Tahiri knew about.

Anakin took a breath, draped his arm across Tahiri’s chest, cupped her shoulder in his palm, drew his knees up a little further, bringing Will in slightly closer, and cherished the moment; committed it to memory. He inhaled the smells around him, memorized the emotions and the sights; the expressions on his son’s face.

He was having another one of those moments; he was standing on a precipice again, he could feel it. Not only would he be able to mark time by what came before and after this lazy morning, but he also knew that this would be the last lazy morning that the three of them would share for quite some time. He wasn’t sure exactly what was going to happen, he wasn’t sure what his role in what was coming would be, but decisions were about to be made – many by him. These few minutes alone with Tahiri and Will were a respite; some of the first few he and Tahiri had shared in weeks that he hadn’t allowed to be marred by the tension brought on by his worry over what lay right before him.

He knew that the end was coming, the uncertainty that was crushing down on him, the two questions that were distracting him to the point that his wife had started issuing threats and ultimatums, were; what his part in the final battle would be, and would he be around to enjoy the peace when all was said and done?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lumbont Squadron Patrol
Space near Third Fleet Group

Anakin stared into space - literally; watching the millions of pinpricks through the canopy of his X-Wing as he thought.

Some more.

He’d handed control of the squad over to Tahiri, had her running his pilots through drills and maneuvers. She was the one sending them out on sweeps of the neighboring systems in wing pairs, marking off sectors and reporting back to command; he was kriffing off.

At least, that was what it looked like.

In reality, what he was doing was trying to figure out what to do with the next several days of his life, and it was actually Tahiri who had told him to do this; take this time while he floated in space, while he had no distractions; no calls to take, no meetings to attend, no reports to sign, no pilots to coach or teach, no sons to play with, no wives to seduce…

In reality, Tahiri had told him to take this time to figure his miserable self out or she’d send him packing again. She’d done it once - ‘and don’t think I won’t do it again, Anakin Solo’ - had been her exact words.

In reality, she had been as miserable during their separation as he’d been, and she was not going to send him packing anytime soon, but out of respect for her, and a sense of self preservation, he decided that doing this now, at this particular moment, the moment that Tahiri had decided was the right one, was the moment he would spend doing it.

And what he was doing, what his wife had informed him he was to do was prepare himself mentally and emotionally for his family’s arrival and all that their arrival would bring with it.

Anakin and Tahiri had assumed, from the first night they had sat in his room on Eclipse with Older Tahiri and begun to make the plans that would alter what came before, that there would come a point when they would no longer be able to use the other woman’s experiences and information. They’d assumed that the outcome of the voxyn mission had changed enough that most of her knowledge would no longer be relevant, but apparently, destiny was a hard thing to shake.

In Older Tahiri’s time it had been Vergere who had related stories of a sentient planet, strong in the Force, to a captive Jacen. Jacen, in turn, had relayed the stories to a captivated Luke, and the two, with Mara and a few others in tow, had abandoned the war effort and set out for the Unknown Regions, in search of the elusive.

When Anakin had tackled Alema and used her longblaster to blow Vergere to the great beyond he’d thought he’d done more than just spare his brother months in the Embrace of Pain and eventual Sithdom; he’d thought he’d spared the Jedi from The Great Potentium Debate.

No such luck.

The day Tahiri learned that the Skywalkers were planning a mission to locate a planet that wasn’t charted in any system the GA had mapped – she and Anakin were dumbfounded. When they’d realized that his aunt and uncle were thought to be heading toward the Unknown Regions, they were astounded. When yet another group of Shamed Ones surrendered, asking to be taken to a planet thought to be their race’s primordial home, a planet that Shimrra seemed to fear, Anakin and Tahiri stared at each other for some time, open mouthed, then fell to the floor laughing hysterically. ‘Hysterically’ being the operative word of course.

Days later sources Tahiri trusted informed her that Jacen had had a ‘vision’ and that Luke was so desperate for a way to win the war, was so desperate for a non-violent Jedi solution, that he was more than happy to follow his nephew’s lead.

The irony was gut wrenching; every Jedi, friend of the Jedi, acquaintance of the Jedi, who had set foot on Wedge’s ship in the last year had spent at least a few minutes lecturing Anakin about the Dark Side. Stories of his temper tantrum were infamous, tales of his and Tahiri’s separation had made the rounds; evidently there wasn’t anyone in the universe who didn’t know that he’d assaulted his wife or that she’d kicked him out. What everyone assumed was that his anger at his family and the Yuuzhan Vong was threatening to lead him down a dark path.

The irony was that all those Jedi who’d lectured him oh so recently were now singing the praises of Zonama Sekot, reveling in it’s enlightened theories, embracing the full spectrum of their own emotions because according to Zonama Sekot, or rather Sekot, the planet’s ‘intelligence’, there was no Dark Side.

If only Grandpa had known.

If there was one person in the galaxy, still alive, who would have benefitted from the ‘shades of gray’ concept - if for no other reason then that he’d not have to listen to the damn lectures anymore - it was Anakin, and yet he’d actively worked to keep Zonama Sekot’s existence under wraps. It was the people who had always clung to the rigidity of Dark and Light who were running to Potentium and embracing it the strongest.

This hypocrisy was feeding into the anger Anakin already felt toward his family and the rest of the Order, and it was making it difficult for Anakin to make decisions about the issues that he now faced. And the issues that he now faced, what had been keeping him up at night and what had made him cranky enough to illicit threats from Tahiri were; did they use the rest of what Older Tahiri gave them to bring about an end to the war? And if so, how did they go about doing that without the Jedi finding out about Flow Walking, his brother becoming a Sith, or him losing his temper and just shooting them all.

More importantly in the next couple of days; what did Anakin say when his uncle asked him to be a part of the team he knew would be launching an assault on Shimrra himself? Or, what did he do if Luke did not ask Anakin to join them?

Anakin had gone back and forth about this; did he want to be on the ground with the Jedi - with his family, or in the air with his squad, the family he’d built and trusted more? Was he shirking his duty to the galaxy by hiding in a fighter instead of marching into Shimrra’s throne room and risking his life by trying to take out Omini? Or was he shirking his duty to his wife and child by marching into Shimrra’s throne room and risking his life by trying to take out Omini?

Was he going against the will of the Force by manipulating the situation in order to plant himself in front of Omini if the opportunity didn’t present itself on its own?

A few nights ago, when Tahiri had found him in the living room, again - gazing out at the stars - so lost in thought it took her a full minute to get his attention, he’d broken down and told her how scared he was, how lost he felt, that he didn’t know what the right choice was and that he was afraid of making the wrong one.

Tahiri had sat down behind him, pulled him against her chest, held him, kissed away his tears, and told him how much she loved him, admired him, and respected him. She told him that she trusted him to make the right choice, not just the one he could live with, and that she understood that this was bigger, and far more important than just the two of them and he was reminded, again, of why he had known, even at sixteen, that she was the one.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin’s attention was grabbed by the sound of bells and pings, and the sight of his comm board lighting up. The sensor display showed sixteen contacts: the fighters of his squadron, the massive Lusankya, and three ‘friendlies’; ships that were running an Alliance transponder, but didn’t have the encrypted identification of the vessels in Wedge’s fleet. Tahiri, the Lusankya and one of the ‘friendlies’ were all hailing him.

He threw switches, gave Tycho the go ahead to speak, and listened distractedly as he pulled his flight gloves off with his teeth and pressed a series of buttons on his wrist chrono, answering Tahiri, who he knew had pulled off her own gloves in order to hail him from her own wrist chrono.

“Yes, my love?”

“I’m assuming you feel them?” she asked, referring to the ‘friendly’; Jaina or Jacen or whoever it was who was flying with them.

“Of course. And one of them is calling me.”

“Who’s the third? A cousin you’ve never told me about?”

There was humor in her voice, and Anakin could tell she was trying to keep his spirits up, distract him from his dread.

“You never know in this family. Relatives do have a way of popping up out of nowhere.”

“Well, play nice. We may need canon fodder in a few days.”

“You’re cute.”

“I know. We’ve got Yuuzhan Vong poking around that need to be taken care of so why don’t you go initiate your siblings, make sure they know who not to shoot, and give them the coordinates.”

Anakin listened distractedly as Tycho gave him and Tahiri the information that they needed for the jump to the sector the Vong had just dropped into while various voices of his squad members began to filter into his consciousness. They were all weighing in with comments about him and Tahiri, wondering aloud what they were doing, what they were talking about that they’d feel the need to speak privately, not include them; as though Anakin and Tahiri couldn’t possibly have anything to say to each other that the rest of them shouldn’t be apart of.

“Lead and Two are ignoring us again.”

“They’re talking on those super cool wrist comms Anakin made for them.”

“I think that was an anniversary present for her.”

“Wow, what a romantic guy.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be jumping?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna ambush some Vong.”

“You know Tahiri’s not paying attention, or she’d vape you for that.”

“I think they’re discussing dinner. Anakin’s begging her not to make stew again tonight. You know how he feels about meals he has to chew less than twenty times per bite.”

“Nah… he’s begging her not to cook.”

“I’m sure he’s begging her to do something.”

“To wear black to bed again.”

“She wears clothes to bed?”

“Yeah… she just doesn’t sleep in them.”

Anakin wasn’t sure, but he thought each of his pilots had made at least one comment.

“You know,” he cut in, “just because you can’t hear us, doesn’t mean we can’t hear you.”

A chorus of ‘Sorry Lead’ came next and he grinned.

They were as devoted a bunch as he could have asked for; they were, in fact, the family Tahiri had said he was trying to build. He had to pretend to be put out - it was part of the game - but he knew, could feel, and was shown every day and in so many ways, that his squadron respected him and his relationship with Tahiri. That was really all he needed, they could tease all they wanted after that.

Switching back to his wrist comm, and his conversation with Tahiri, he scrambled for where he’d left off with her – initiating… know who to shoot…

Anakin smiled again. “If Jacen’s so bad he doesn’t know who not to shoot in a furball I should switch his designation on the heads up display and let these guys have him.”

“I’m all for shooting your brother, but Jaina’s a good pilot, try to keep her intact, and if my guess is right, that’s Fel with her, and he’s a very good pilot.” Anakin heard the clicking of buttons as she sent the coordinates to the rest of the squad. “I guess I’ll take the kids over and get your party going.”

“You almost sound reluctant to start a fight. Where’s the real Tahiri? What have you done with my wife?”

“Oh, it’s me. If you’re a good boy I’ll prove it by letting you inspect me later.”

He reached with the Force, reached for his best friend, his partner, drew in the comfort she was offering, and tried to relax. “I’ll get the twins and their friend and join you in a minute. Be careful. Make sure there’s still something for me to inspect when this is over.” He watched as his pilots began to make the jump, watched as, one by one, his squad took off to take out the invaders.

“Alright, but don’t keep me waiting too long, Hero-boy.”

“I won’t... Tahiri, I love you.”

“I love you too, Anakin. Now get a move on. Being all gooey and romantic is wonderful, but I’d prefer we get this over with and get home so we can do it there.”

“Yes, my love. Good hunting. I’ll see you soon.”

Flipping more switches on his comm board, Anakin opened up another channel, took a deep breath and said, “You picked a great time to pay us a visit Twin Suns. I hope your lasers are charged and you’re ready to jump. We’ve got some scarheads to vape.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 15
I’m Always Touched By Your Presence

30 ABY
Lumbont Squadron Hangar, High Security
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya, Stassia System
18 months after Anakin’s Return

Jaina, with Jacen and Jag in tow, approached her brother as a mass of people and machines converged on him; his position becoming a hub of activity before her eyes.

A rolling computer terminal/workstation, tall enough to use while standing up, was wheeled to his side. A tall droid approached with it, taking up sentry behind Anakin as pilots jumped out of fighters and mechanics flocked to ships.

Anakin lazily unzipped the top of his standard issue orange flight suit, pulling his arms out of the sleeves and letting them fall to his sides before scrubbing a hand through his hair.

Jaina was amused to realize that he’d grown since she’d seen him last, was now probably a good several centimeters taller than Jacen and their father. It wasn’t unheard of for young men to have a final growth spurt in their late teens, but somehow the idea that Anakin had continued to grow into his twenties, continued to grow after Myrkr, seemed amazing. He’d also bulked up a bit, thankfully. He wasn’t large by any stretch of the imagination, in fact as Jaina got closer to him she had to fight the urge to run back to her ship for a ration bar; he could certainly stand to gain a few kilos, but his arms and chest were muscular, and the rest of his body was nowhere near as painfully thin as it’d been fifteen months ago. The thing Jaina was happiest to note though was that his color was good, he looked healthy; there was no trace of that horrible jaundiced pallor he’d woken with.

She saw him shift his body slightly, he and the beings and machines blocking Jaina’s view of the droid behind him, but she caught sight of the back of Anakin’s shirt lifting, and his slight grimace. Jaina wondered what the droid was for, and if it was the cause of his frown. Could there still be something wrong with him that he’d need a med droid standing by as he climbed out of his fighter? She got the impression that she wasn’t supposed to have caught the droid’s movement, or Anakin’s reaction, and also caught – felt - that commenting on the droid’s presence would be a huge mistake.

As she reached him, got within a few meters and he finally saw her, he lifted his chin slightly, “Hey.”

His greeting wasn’t exactly warm, no warmer than his initial greeting in space had been, but it also wasn’t the cold reception that she’d feared.

“Hey. Nice flying,” she offered in return. “Your squad’s pretty impressive.”

“Ah, you know how to soften up the locals. Keep talking, they love being told how good they are.”

“Apparently we need to soften them up. Almost got our heads taken off by your security team when we popped the canopies.”

Jaina was referring to the group of soldiers who held her, Jacen and Jag at blaster point in the neighboring hangar when they’d landed. One of the men, Bram, she recognized as the lead commando who had accompanied Tahiri to the medical frigate when Anakin had been found, and though she was sure he knew who they were, it had still taken calls to flight control, bodily pat downs, droids going over their ships, much discussion over whether or not to confiscate lightsabers, blasters, and charrics, and finally, she suspected, an okay from Anakin himself, before he’d allowed them to set foot inside Anakin’s personal hangar.

Evidently ‘Lambent Three’ was somewhere near and the guards were on high alert.

Jaina hadn’t seen Three’s tracker during the engagement and she wondered who he was, why he required such insane security. Since Anakin’s squadron was technically an Intel group - military but not regular navy - their roster classified, their hangar and quarters off limits to anyone without proper clearance, Jaina didn’t even know who was in his squad. She wanted to assume that the reception she had received was typical, not some kind of punishment handed out just for her and Jacen. But she wasn’t sure.

“Oh, yeah,” Anakin acknowledged dryly, “Bram’s not fond of strangers.”

No one commented on the fact that Bram had met Anakin’s siblings and knew who they were, or that Anakin had been notified - was supposed to have been notified - that Jaina and Jacen would be arriving soon.

Silence followed Anakin’s comment, a long silence. Just as it was threatening to make Jaina squirm, Jacen spoke up.

“Your Two is quite a flyer.”

Anakin smiled tightly, “Outstanding XO too, among other things.”

But there was something in the way he said it that made Jaina think that Anakin wasn’t particularly happy with Two, probably because of the insane move Two had pulled to help Jacen out when his S-foils had locked open. If Two hadn’t helped, Jacen wouldn’t have made the jump back to the Lusankya with the rest of the group when the third Vong unit had dropped in on them, and Jaina would be less one brother – again.

“I’ll need to thank him.” Jacen continued.

“Well, you’re about to get your opportunity,” Anakin called over the loud thrum of repulsors as an X-Wing touched down delicately - a landing that would have brought a tear to Wedge Antilles’ eye - practically on top of them. A wing nearly touched Jag’s head – which surely would have brought a tear to Han Solo’s eye.

Anakin’s smile turned smug as the snub’s canopy rose; the ‘I can’t wait to see the look on your face’ smirk she remembered from childhood, and Jaina suppressed the urge to roll her eyes as she put it together; Anakin hadn’t named his squadron the Lambents, they were Lumbont Squadron. Lumbont; Forty in Yuuzhan Vong.

Lumbont two.

Tahiri.

They just weren’t going to let that die.

Jaina looked up just as her ‘sister-in-law’ dropped her helmet onto her seat; watched her strip off her chest plate and her flight suit, leaving her in just a pair of trim cargo pants and a tank top, then vault over the side of her ship, hitting the hangar floor lightly. Her flaxen hair was shiny and bouncing – looking slightly windblown, not sweaty and matted to her head the way it ought to look after hours tucked into a helmet. She also had a wide grin on her face, her perfect teeth white and sparkling.

She looked like a military recruitment add and Jaina wanted to kick her – or go take a shower.

“Hello, Jaina, Colonel Fel, good to see you. Jacen, how’re those S-foils?”

“You’re Lambent Two?” Jacen gaped, and Jaina wished she could reach over and flick her twin’s jaw closed; wished Jacen would get it through his thick skull that they were going to have to play nice with Tahiri if they ever wanted to smooth things over with their brother.

“Lumbont, actually.” She explained, “It’s a common mistake, though. And what? You didn’t think I could learn to fly an X-Wing? Your brother’s an excellent teacher, if you ever want pointers.”

He continued to stare at her until Tahiri’s grin turned to a scowl. She shook her head dismissively; instructing; “I think ‘thank’ and ‘you’ are the words you’re looking for, Jacen.”

Jacen glared at her before finally gritting out, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, though I’m probably not going to feel that way when your brother gets me alone.”

Before she could elaborate on that comment, a Bith approached and complemented, “Nice move out there. Who was the idiot who couldn’t get his S-Foils closed?”

Anakin cleared his throat, though clearly amused, not embarrassed. “Moeller, meet Twin Suns Five, Jacen Solo.”

Jacen took it from there, still irritated, “The idiot who couldn’t get his S-Foils closed.”

Moeller gave Jacen the once over then turned back to Anakin. “Your dad only taught one of you to fly?”

“Two of us,” Jaina blurted out, before she’d had time to think, then winced, and did not look at Jacen.

Turning to Tahiri, Moeller handed her a data disk, his flight recording, Jaina assumed. “I so don’t want to be you when he gets you alone.”

“I never want to be her when he gets her alone,” a Quarren commented as he sidled up, depositing his own disk on the desk. He shivered and added, “he’s human,” as he gestured towards Anakin, making it clear he didn’t find Anakin attractive in any way.

Moeller swatted him on the head as they both walked away, saying, “She’s human too.”

Anakin and Tahiri ignored the two pilots, and turned to face each other for the first time since Tahiri’s arrival.

Anakin crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at her; she clasped her hands in front of herself and tilted her head to one side, lower lip jutted out in a contrite pout. He sighed and shook his head; she tilted hers in the other direction, and smiled sheepishly, gazing up from beneath her lashes. He closed his eyes for a long moment, pinched the bridge of his nose, then dropped his hands to his hips, opened his eyes, and blew out a long breath. Tahiri’s smile turned less sheepish as she lifted a hand up to run one finger from Anakin’s collar down his chest to his waist, hooked her finger into his flight suit, pulled him forward, then lifted herself onto her toes, and playfully bit his chin before kissing it. He sighed again, dropped a kiss onto her forehead and finally spoke; “I don’t want to keep having this conversation.”

Before Tahiri could respond a female Twi’lek, who’d walked up to stand behind her at the workstation, rummaging through a stack of flimsy sheets, remarked under her breath; “you always say that,” and Jaina was slightly baffled to realize that a conversation had even taken place.

Tahiri ignored the Twi’lek, wrapped her arms around Anakin’s neck and apologized; “I’m sorry, I’ll be more careful next time.”

The Twi’lek cut in again with, “and you always say that,” then exclaimed, “I knew you had it,” accusingly, as she shook the flimsy she’d been searching for at Tahiri’s back, before marching off.

Tahiri laughed, then surprised Jaina by switching gears, becoming all business, turning and calling out; “Alright, let's get to work,” as she turned to face the computer terminal and began to type and feed disks into it. She glanced up, caught Jaina’s eye and nodded her head toward a couple of crash couches and old office chairs nearby and informed her; “you’re free to hang out, have a seat if you want, we take awhile.”

Anakin stepped behind Tahiri, spread his feet wide apart so that he was standing only slightly taller than her, then brushed her hair to one side of her neck as she tilted her head for him and he rested his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist. The action seemed entirely un-selfconscious, the two appeared oblivious to all that was going on around them as they whispered to each other and watched the monitor in front of them. Occasionally Anakin would point to the screen, Tahiri would ask questions; their conversation might have been typical of what any lead and XO would be discussing after an engagement or drill - if you didn’t count the affectionate pats and stolen kisses, or the teasing and mocking comments coming from their pilots and crew as they dropped off more disks and left more stacks of flimsy next to Tahiri’s elbow.

After more than an hour, during which time not a single pilot left the area, Anakin asked Tahiri for a total.

“Not counting the skips Fel and Jaina took out, seventy-four.”

“Alright,” Anakin said, mentally calculating with frightening speed; “Six for everyone, and an extra one for Eight, for boy duty.” Anakin patted Tahiri, low on her abdomen, then kissed her neck and continued, “and an extra one for you for earlier.”

“Mmmm… You’re the colonel, Colonel.”

Jaina felt her eyes widen and her military sensibility snap to full attention. “You can’t do that.”

“I can’t do what?” Anakin asked, standing up straight and stepping out from behind Tahiri, “reward my XO for a job well done?” One side of his mouth raised in a perfect Han Solo smirk before he asked, “How many men are lucky enough to have a wife who can micro adjust repulsor pads? She did it all by herself today.”

Jaina’s mouth fell open and she ignored the repulsor pad ruse. Was he actually giving Tahiri kill credits for… no. She refused to bite; Anakin had to be teasing her, but then she realized that he was serious about awarding the rest of the pilots equal kills when she knew they hadn’t all earned them, and then ‘Eight’ got an extra kill for ‘boy duty’, whatever that was? Eight hadn’t been on the tracker board either. What kind of circus was her brother running?

Ignoring the blatant reference to his and Tahiri’s sex life, she opted to complain about his blasé attitude toward protocol.

“You can’t just divide up kills and pass them out like sweets. You’re skewing the stats.”

“Oh,” Anakin breathed out, as though just understanding, “you would be referring to the military-wide competition amongst pilots to accumulate the most number of kills regardless of what the rest of their squad mates are accomplishing or, whether they are even surviving?”

Jaina crossed her arms and glared at her brother, who now had an elbow leaning on the top of the workstation, then caught sight of Tahiri flicking a switch on the forgotten droid that had been standing inert. She tried to hold Anakin’s gaze while still watching Tahiri as she pulled a small printout from the droid. She read the flimsy and dropped it on her desk with everything else, and Jaina thought she’d go mad with curiosity.

“Yeah,” Anakin said, popping a cookie he’d just accepted from Tahiri into his mouth before he went on, “we don’t operate that way.”

Jaina continued to steam; was somewhat pleased to feel Jag also radiating indignation at Anakin’s lack of respect for military record keeping. “What do you mean, you ‘don’t operate that way’? Kills are tracked for a reason…”

“Yes,” Anakin agreed, speaking with another cookie between his teeth, “To keep morale up and feed a pilot’s sense of accomplishment.”

“Exactly.” Jaina announced - then suddenly felt flustered by Anakin’s agreement.

Anakin looked thoughtful as he chewed and swallowed, then explained, “My squadron has the highest kill rate in the Third Fleet, one of the highest kill rates in the military. What difference does it make to anyone else how I distribute credit amongst my pilots? However I slice it up the kills still belong to us.”

“You’re giving kills to pilots who don’t deserve the credit, and depriving others of credit they do deserve.”

He chuckled, bit into another cookie, held one out to her, shrugged his shoulders when Jaina continued to glared at him, then asked; “How do you know who does or doesn’t deserve credit?” There was humor in his voice, because, Jaina realized, he wasn’t taking anything she was saying seriously. “You don’t know anything about my pilots, or how I lead, and… last I heard; you weren’t really military anymore, so I’m not sure why any of this should matter to you; but you’re welcome to keep watching while I work, maybe you’ll learn something. In case you ever decide to stop chasing spooky planets and rejoin the war effort instead of just shooting to save your own ass when you happen to fall into a firefight like you did today.”

Jaina bit down any retort about Zonama Sekot, or her inopportune arrival; assumed Anakin knew anything about the planet because, despite also being Anakin’s XO, Tahiri must still be Intel, and thought if Anakin was going to be this antagonistic from the moment she walked in, before she’d even had a chance to do anything wrong, the rest of her stay was going to be brutal and Uncle Luke’s request was going to make matters worse. She was beginning to fear, again, that she was never going to get her brother back.

Sighing, and deciding to take his advice; see if maybe she could learn anything from him, she watched as her brother turned away from her, his expression becoming serious and quite focused, calling his pilots to form up.

Anakin spent a considerable amount of time with each of the men and women he commanded. He played back recordings Tahiri had cued, moments from the battle, highlights of every pilot’s record, pointing out various moments in their flights, maneuvers that were particularly impressive, things Anakin wanted them to work on, strengths and weaknesses. Then, as Anakin finished with each one, Tahiri handed them a brush and a small can of paint from a stash under her workstation and they went off happily to decorate their ships with kill marks.

As unorthodox as the process was, as time consuming and laborious as it seemed, as much as it grated on Jaina’s sense of order and discipline, she couldn’t help but see the effect; every pilot worshipped her brother. Each one soaked up the praise, listened intently to his every word. They seemed honored to hear both his advice and criticism; seemed to feel that his time was highly valuable and that they were incredibly lucky to have his attention - looked forward to the opportunity to use his insight to improve their skills. Anakin treated each of his pilots with respect, made them feel like he was honored to have them serve under him, that he felt privileged to lead them, made it clear that he knew they were the ones making him look great.

The camaraderie and sense of kinship amongst the pilots was clear as well; someone had turned music on at some point, pilots and mechanics danced around and sang as they did their work, they all seemed to enjoy being together; no one seemed in any hurry to leave the hangar.

The other thing obvious was that the whole squad loved Tahiri.

Jaina began to see, after three hours of watching it, that Anakin’s and Tahiri’s public display of affection was as much for the squad as it was for them. This was a family; they were the parents, the pilots their somewhat unruly children. Their unity gave the kids a sense of security; as long as Mommy and Daddy were happy and together, all was right in their world. Remembering back to the dark days after Chewbacca’s death and the rift between her own parents, Jaina could understand the motivating factors at work here and had to admire her brother’s tactic.

The other thing Jaina realized was that it had taken Anakin a shockingly short amount of time to review all the vids; to find all the points in the recordings of each pilot’s disk that he wanted to discuss. He’d clearly remembered what had happened in the battlefield, what every one of his pilots had been doing, to find those moments on the tapes - to zero right in on them so that Tahiri could have them ready to roll. Her brother was a truly gifted leader.

A loud call of ‘Lumbont Three on your six!’ caught Jaina’s attention. Finally, it seemed, one of her questions would be answered.

From the back of the hangar, a man of medium height approached at a dead run; balanced on his head, short arms and legs splayed out as though in flight, naked except for a diaper and little combat boots, was a baby, giggling frantically, the miniature pilot’s helmet on his head emblazoned with the labels ‘Lumbont 3’ and ‘Will’.

Tahiri and Anakin turned in unison, their joy unmistakable.

“Mah-Mahhhhh.” Will yelled out.

Anakin plucked his son off the head of the man, who turned out to be Valin Horn, Lumbont Eight Jaina realized, and Anakin’s comment about ‘Eight’ getting an extra kill for being on ‘boy duty’ suddenly making sense.

Jaina remembered back to that first day in the med center after Anakin had been found; Winter’s story about the kidnapping attempt, and Tahiri killing the man trying to take her baby. Her annoyance at Anakin for awarding kills to pilots not even in space was instantly cooled by the realization that ‘Eight’ was not flying because he was on ‘boy duty’; left on ship to watch over Will. Her annoyance at the hoops she’d had to jump through in order to enter Anakin’s hangar was diminished as she realized that Bram and his team were simply making sure no one who might pose a threat got close to their leader’s son, and Jaina knew that all these precautions were just Anakin and Tahiri using every means at their disposal to keep their child safe and alive.

“What am I? Minced Meat?” Anakin asked his son, as he swung him up in the air and then pretended to gnaw on his ribcage.

When Anakin finally stopped gnawing, and Will was able to catch his breath, Tahiri reached up and removed the helmet, revealing a cherubic face topped by golden ringlets and Jaina’s heart lurched at how sweet and beautiful her nephew was, and at the fact that she didn’t know him.

“Say no…” Tahiri commanded her son in a sweet voice as she leaned her nose into his, “but Mama has cookies.”

“Wiwl hab coow-kies?” he asked; his little brows knit in concentration as his tiny lips worked to form the words.

“Were you a good boy for Uncle Valin today?”

“No, guh boy por Unka Bow-win.” He said, shaking his head and sending the curls swinging.

Tahiri turned her sweet smile on Valin and told Will, “Then you can have all the cookies you want.”

“You know,” Anakin began, as Tahiri produced yet another cookie from a seemingly endless supply in the pockets of her pants. Anakin leaned down and bit the cookie out of Tahiri’s hand and Will giggled, then pulled the cookie from Anakin’s mouth, and happily shoved it into his own, as Anakin continued, “Tahiri, light of my life, center of my existence, source of my joy…”

The Twi’lek, passing by again, made a gagging sound as she set her paint can down.

“Yehhhsss…” Tahiri answered.

“I haven’t read all the parenting manuals you have, but I’m fairly well versed in military training and I believe that the purposeful instruction of insubordination will come back to haunt us one day.”

“Possibly,” Tahiri conceded, “but I’m fairly well versed in Intelligence training and I believe that the purposeful instruction of counter offensive tactics can be useful in times of…”

Her reply was cut short when Will suddenly shrieked and wiggled his body so aggressively that Anakin had to fight to keep his hold on him.

“Gee,” Tahiri said mildly, “Did Paloma just round the corner?”

Anakin hefted his son back up and grinned. “Red will be this child’s favorite color forever.”

“Mine too.” Valin said salaciously, the wide grin on his face matching Will’s.

A young Togruta woman approached and tossed her disk to Tahiri before reaching out for Will. She took him from Anakin and, pulling him tight against her chest, nuzzled her nose to his. The two seemed to communicate on a level that exceeded language, then, after a moment, the girl switched him to her hip, reached into a pocket on her flight suit and pulled out a cookie for Will that looked just like the ones Tahiri was packing. She then pulled out another one and flipped it to Anakin.

He laughed and caught it deftly, saying, “Thanks Lomi.”

“Who got your back, boss?” she asked with a wink.

“I wouldn’t mind a cookie.” Valin sort of whined.

Rolling her eyes, Paloma retrieved another cookie, sent it sailing towards Valin’s face, then turned to Jaina, Jag and Jacen and asked, “While the pantry’s still open?”

They all shook their heads – no - so she closed her pocket and turned back to Will, who was stroking her montral.

“Wiwl wuv Woma.” He said softly.

“Loma loves you too, little man.”

Tahiri typed furiously for a moment, then said, “You’re up, Lomi,” and stood by while Anakin reviewed Paloma’s flight recording.

Paloma, Jaina quickly realized, was Anakin’s wing mate, and he seemed almost as fond of her as Will was. Jaina was also interested to note that unlike all the female Jedi that Tahiri had disliked or resented for even looking at Anakin back on Eclipse, she not only seemed to have no problem with Paloma but had her arm around her or was touching her a fair amount of the time the young woman was standing next to her.

At one point Tahiri smiled widely, pointed at the screen and, obviously referring to something the Togruta had done during the battle said, “that was art.”

Paloma grinned and gently elbowed Tahiri in the side. “Ah, you’re just saying that ‘cause you still have a husband.”

“Thank you for that,” Tahiri laughed, “but that was still a very nice move.”

“She’s right,” Anakin agreed. “That was stellar. I’ll have to program that into the sims, see if we can teach it to the others.”

“Thanks, man.” The woman beamed.

Paloma nuzzled her nose to Will’s again, then kissed his head before handing him to Tahiri, and said, “I’m on boy duty tomorrow; 0800 unless you need me earlier,” as she grabbed the brush and paint can Tahiri had set on the desk for her.

Tahiri squinted her eyes, thinking, as she cuddled her son. Jaina realized this was the first time she’d ever really seen Tahiri and Will interact. On the med frigate she’d seen Tahiri feed Will, but he’d only been a few months old at the time, and Tahiri had been so distraught, she’d practically been laying in Anakin’s med bed with him during those first several days, leaving the rest of Will’s care to Winter. From the time Anakin had woken up until he’d freaked out and told everyone to get the kriff out, Tahiri had sort of avoided Anakin’s room during the hours his family had been in it, so Jaina hadn’t seen her with Will much then either.

“Let’s see…” Tahiri began, as she crossed her eyes and puffed her cheeks out at Will, making him laugh. “Anakin starts patrol at 0500, and I’ve got to be an Intel Agent in the morning, but I doubt my first meeting will start before 0900, so that should work.” Will stuck one of the cookies he was holding into his mouth and Tahiri opened her own mouth wide, making a show of chomping her teeth. She didn’t go near Will’s cookie, but the mere threat caused giggles. “I’ll give you a yell if anything else comes up.”

Paloma seemed totally unperturbed by Tahiri’s lack of focus.

“Kay. And I’ll see you tonight, right?”

Tahiri finally pulled back from Will and offered Paloma a wide grin. “We wouldn’t miss it.”

Paloma reached over and poked the baby in the ribs, saying, “You’re all mine tomorrow, kiddo,” before turning and skipping off towards the ships.

Valin’s eyes followed her as she went. “Can I be all yours the next day?”

“Keep dreaming, Horny.” She called over her shoulder.

A high whistle and the sound of an explosion came from Anakin; the universal sound effects for crashing and burning.

“This from a man who’s kissed one woman. Ever.” Valin said.

“Hey, I didn’t make up the whole ‘Tusken Raiders mate for life’ thing.”

“She’s not really a Tusken Raider.”

Tahiri made a low honking sound.

Anakin let out laugh and Valin shook his head in disgust, walking away muttering, ‘that’s just wrong’.

When Valin was out of earshot, Anakin reached over, threaded his fingers through Tahiri’s hair, and gently pulled her head back. Leaning over her, he said, “don’t do that,” to which Tahiri’s reply was to smile and honk again.

Anakin let go of her head and shook his own. “So unattractive.”

“For life,” she sing-songed.

A young human man walked up and Jaina felt her brother’s mood grow serious again, felt his presence in the Force shift; similar to how it felt when he and Tahiri had started their non-verbal conversation.

“Ah, time to pay the bill.” Anakin intoned, as he reached over and took Will out of Tahiri’s arms.

Tahiri wiped Will’s crumb and goo covered lips, then wiped her fingers on Anakin’s shirt.

“What was that for?” He asked, his voice going high as he finished his sentence.

“Punishment for what you’re thinking.”

“But I didn’t say it.” He defended.

“Might as well have.”

The human, his coveralls said his name was Hodge, set a thick datapad on Tahiri’s workstation then eyed her, shaking his head.

“Not necessary.” She informed him.

“I sooo don’t want to be you when he gets you alone.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “So I keep hearing. Why don’t you report instead of editorializing?”

Hodge shrugged. “Only bird damaged was yours.”

“Really?” Anakin asked in mock surprise.

Tahiri raised the heel of her boot and gently kicked the back of Anakin’s leg and Jaina suddenly remembered Tahiri’s insane maneuver to help Jacen.

“I might advise,” Hodge continued, “that the next time some idiot can’t close his S-foils, you, of all people, don’t help him out. It’s sort of amazing you’re not blue from sucking vacuum. The fissures in your canopy are too deep to fix.”

Tahiri actually winced at that and Anakin grew even more serious.

Hodge didn’t seem to notice.

“And I have to tell you, I’m dying to hear how you even managed it, but you know, I guess I’ll wait until after Anakin’s done wringing your neck. Speaking of which,” Hodge grew slightly bashful as he looked at Anakin; like a kid asking his dad to borrow the new speeder, excited, nervous… “I’ve got a little wager going with the guys in Blue Nebula’s Mech Crew, they think you’ll go at her as soon as the hangar’s clear, I said you’d wait ‘til after you got her back to your quarters. If it goes my way, I’m off the hook for that bet I lost last week when Tahiri took Valin down in sims four times straight.”

“That’s what you get for betting against me.” Tahiri scolded, jabbing her finger into Hodge’s chest.

“Oh… c’mon. You had Three in your lap.”

“You take your son into the simulators with you?” Jag asked from beside Jaina. He’d been so quiet through all the chaos she’d almost forgotten he was with her.

Anakin’s presence shifted again, brightened, and he appeared thoughtful, as though he’d just remembered something, but wasn’t sure.

“Tahiri, didn’t you remote simm against a Vanguard a couple of weeks ago?”

Tahiri grinned wistfully, “Yeah, I did. Tough kill. Little bugger wouldn’t hold still.” Jaina could tell that Jag recognized himself as Tahiri’s opponent instantly, and managed to look both proud at providing a challenge, and chagrined at being bested, by her of all people, until Tahiri finished with, “was digging into my pockets for cookies the whole time,” making it clear that her son was with her in the simulator then as well.

“Anyway,” Hodge brought the gloating Tahiri back on point, and her frown indicated that she wasn’t happy about it. “I guess the moral of the story here is no more using your canopy as a battering ram.”

“Alright, message received.”

“Here,” Hodge shoved the datapad closer to her.

“What am I requisitioning? A new canopy?”

Hodge laughed. “You wish, hot shot. And you know damn well the canopy’s not the only issue. You’re not requisitioning anything. You’re requesting that procurement review a request for you to requisition yourself a new X-Wing.”

“Why?” She whined.

“Because you’ve gotten so many already.”

Jaina got the feeling that Anakin would have laughed at that, if the implications of what Hodge was saying weren’t so bad.

“Well,” Tahiri started lamely, “Can’t we just use parts of other X-Wings?”

“You mean like build you a new one from the leftovers of all the ships you’ve already trashed?”

Anakin did laugh at that.

“Oh hush.” Tahiri said.

“Sorry, my love, but when he puts it like that, it sort of makes me feel like an irresponsible husband to let you near a cockpit.”

“Won’t work anyway.” Hodge shrugged. “As good as Colonel Handsome and I are, even we can’t build you a ship without parts and we’ve already used up everything lying around. Remember? We took the control panel out of the pit of forty-two A and put into forty-two B when you wasted B’s.”

“That wasn’t my fault.” Tahiri gritted out, “I got caught in that ion back-wash when I shot the skip out from under Schreech.”

“I didn’t say it was your fault, but the board was still fried, and I wasn’t able to track down a new one. Plus, we took the starboard engine outta A and put in C when you got nailed last month when you put yourself between Valin and that analog cruiser, and the port went into B… can’t remember why we did that.”

Anakin put his hand to his mouth, the name ‘Talasea’ barely distinguishable over his fake cough.

Hodge snorted. “Forgot about that one.”

Will seemed to find that funny too. He put his own hand over his mouth and imitated his father, making fake coughing sounds. Anakin chuckled quietly, until Will announced, “Mama tuble gehn!” To which Anakin bit his lower lip and shook his head, while he tried desperately not to laugh out loud, finally giving up and burying his face in Will’s shoulder, his own shoulders shaking convulsively while Tahiri glared daggers at him.

“Why can’t she fly C?” Jag asked, clearly confused, and oblivious to Anakin’s peril.

Jaina was impressed that he'd gotten that far; she’d lost track of A, and was only vaguely sure B was the ship Tahiri had been flying today.

“She can’t fly C, because all we were able to recover from C was the crash couch and the pilot.” Hodge offered dryly.

“Tahiri has the distinction of being the second Solo to go EV in combat.” Anakin informed darkly, his previous humor gone.

Any further attempt by Tahiri to defend her piloting was cut off by the shout of ‘General on deck’ and the din of boots snapping as all in the hangar turned toward the doors to salute Wedge Antilles.

Jaina couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a commander of Wedge’s stature on a flight deck and wondered if word of his nephew’s presence had brought him down or if he paid regular visits to Anakin and Tahiri.

This question was answered soon enough.

“At ease,” he called out, relieving the troops to go back to their work as he approached.

Will was the first to get his attention.

“Wesh!”

“Hey Will, how’s my favorite pilot?”

Anakin handed his son off again, and Will happily kissed Wedge’s cheek, then accepted the cookie Wedge produced from the pocket of his uniform pants. Wedge took out a second cookie and went to toss it to Anakin, but Jaina’s brother held up his hand.

“No thanks, General… I’m good.”

There was no mistaking Wedge’s surprise, or his not very inconspicuous reading of the print out still on the corner of Tahiri’s desk, or his pleasure when he’d seen what the print-out said and Jaina finally realized – they weren’t really cookies. She just wished she knew what they were and why Anakin seemed to need them.

“Well, good,” Wedge tried to cover, “they’ll ruin your dinner anyway.” Then, turning his attention to his nephew, Wedge said, “Jagged, good to see you.”

“Uncle,” Jag bowed slightly. “And you.”

“Jaina, Jacen, were you looking to drop into the middle of a furball, or was that just the famous Solo luck?”

“Luck, as usual, Sir.” Jaina chuckled.

“We weren’t expecting you for a couple more days. Where are your parents and the Skywalkers?”

“They should be along later tonight actually. We were all hoping to spend a little time with Anakin and Tahiri before we sat down for the actual mission planning.”

That was true, they had all wanted to see Anakin; and they were hoping that if they spent a little time together, and were all nice to Tahiri, that Anakin would be able to put aside his anger at his family and think of the importance of this coming battle, think of the opportunity to end the war. Jaina thought it was a long shot, thought the likelihood of her brother going nova when he found out what Luke wanted was extremely high no matter what they did or how the topic was approached, but she and her father had been overruled and here she was, once again sitting back waiting for a family drama to unfold.

“Well, you’ll join us for dinner tonight, maybe we’ll get lucky and the old folks will make it here before the food gets cold. Tycho hates serving dinner cold,” Wedge said. “Tahiri can find you somewhere to freshen up beforehand, and I’m sure she and Anakin will be glad to take you along to Bram’s birthday party afterwards.”

Jaina assumed that Bram’s party was what Paloma had been referring to earlier and thought she saw slight grimaces on Anakin’s and Tahiri’s faces, like the last thing they wanted to do was take her, Jacen and Jag along, but they didn’t have a chance to say anything, wouldn’t say anything, before Wedge faced Tahiri full on, his expression turning somewhat stern.

“Now, Agent Veila…”

“Yes, sir?” Tahiri demurred, sounding more like a daughter about to be gently admonished than a soldier about to be dressed down, which surely was about to happen.

“Tycho has suggested we change your call sign to Hobbie, but you’re probably too young to know what that means.”

The look on her face said she wasn’t, or at least that her age had nothing to do with it, and Anakin was hiding another smirk; Jaina knew that he knew who Hobbie was.

“He’s the only other pilot I’ve ever known who flew his X-Wing into as much stuff as you. You’ve become the most expensive woman in my life. If your kill-rate to hours-in-the cockpit ratio wasn’t so high, according to my calculations, not your husband’s calculations, I’d consider busting you back to Iella full time just to save myself the cost in ships, but I know that only getting to spend ninety percent of every day with you would make Anakin unhappy.”

“And we wouldn’t want to make Anakin unhappy,” Valin appeared out of nowhere to comment.

“I could bust you back to corporal and that wouldn’t make Anakin unhappy,” Wedge warned, giving Valin a sideways look.

“No, hold-father Wedge… but it would make my mother unhappy.”

“When Mirax is living on my ship and wiping Vong off my view screen…” Wedge turned to Tahiri again, whose mouth looked to be forming the word ‘Yuuzhan’, and, wagging a finger in her face, said, “don’t say it.”

She pursed her lips; then smiled sweetly, rocking on her heels, looking innocent.

Shaking his head - again, more like a doting father than the revered war veteran he was, Wedge asked, “Where’s Hodge?”

“Here sir.” The mechanic stepped out from where he’d been hiding behind Anakin.

“What do I have to sign to get her a new ship?”

“This sir.” Hodge grabbed the datapad off Tahiri’s workstation, scrolled through a few screens and held it out for Wedge.

Wedge passed Will to Valin, and signing the datapad said, “Get her two, I don’t want to be having this conversation again for at least three weeks.

“Now, I didn’t come down here to bust your chops, although I’m always up for that, I came down to tell you dinner is going to be late. Iella and Winter are running behind, so meet us in two hours.”

Anakin brightened again, and Tahiri giggled quietly.

“Eight…” Anakin said, as he snaked an arm around Tahiri’s waist and began to back away from the others, a wide grin on his face, “Boy duty has just been extended. Two and I have... ”

Valin rolled his eyes. “Maneuvers to work on?”

“Precisely. Give us an hour to practice, would you?” Then, turning to Wedge; “Thanks for the heads up, General.” He said as he lazily saluted, then bent down, spun Tahiri, and scooped her up onto his shoulder. He faced his siblings, and, over his wife’s squeals, called, “See you at dinner.”

When Anakin turned around Tahiri picked her head up and, gesturing toward Jaina, Jacen and Jag yelled out to Valin, “Will you find rooms for them, please?” as Anakin raced toward the exit.

As they disappeared, Will clapped his hands and said, “Mama Dada happy.”

“They’re gonna be a whole lot happier in about seven minutes.” Valin said.

Wedge gave Valin another scolding look, then appeared to notice Will’s state of dress for the first time and asked the boy, “Where are your clothes?” Then groused, “We finally get shoes on this child and now he’s naked.”

“Just like his parents.”

“Enough, Corporal Horn.” Wedge sighed, as he and Valin turned and headed toward the hangar exit themselves, already seeming to forget Jaina, Jacen and Jag’s need for showers and beds.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16
Whole Lotta Love

30 ABY
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya, Stassia System
18 months after Anakin’s Return

Jacen Solo was in Hell.

Or at least – that’s what it felt like.  And he wondered what he had done to deserve this punishment.

Was the Universe going to continue to flog him for one mistake?   Was he going to spend the rest of his life having his little brother’s relationship with a woman he detested shoved down his throat?   Was he going to spend eternity feeling guilty for driving ‘the most promising Knight of his generation’ away from the Jedi Order?

And did they always paw at each other like this in public, or was this behavior a display reserved for him and Jaina, designed to make them feel even worse for what they’d inadvertently done - deprive Anakin and Tahiri of each other’s ‘company’ for a year?

They’d all drudged through dinner with the Antilles and Celchus; sticking mostly to neutral topics; the war, the war, and the war.  

They’d discussed all the things that Anakin’s Super Squad had shot and killed, all the Yuuzhan Vong that had surrendered to Tahiri’s Incredible Infiltrators. They’d also discussed how cute Will was, how talented Will was, what a sweet baby Will was and how much Will loved his ‘Uncle’ Valin and the ‘Holds’, as Anakin and Tahiri referred to Will’s hold-parents.  

Will had spent the meal toddling from familiar lap to familiar lap, being coddled and cooed over, and Jacen had felt Jaina’s pain at being ignored by their nephew, and again felt that he and his twin were being punished.

Two incidents in particular had set Jacen’s teeth on edge.

The first had been Anakin’s and Tahiri’s arrival; they’d appeared relaxed, obviously sated from their hour of ‘maneuvers’ while Valin had watched their son, and dressed for the party they were now all making their way too.  Anakin looked like he was on a tropical vacation, complete with a loud print shirt open over a plain t-shirt and knee length trousers and beach shoes.  Tahiri’s outfit was revealing in a less than subtle way; skin tight pants that showed off what even Jacen had to grudgingly admit was a decent body, and a halter top tied with string across her back – barely covering her front.  Jacen couldn’t help but be offended; this was no way to dress in front of Wedge, a decorated general, and he was shocked when the stately Winter, of all people, complemented her on how beautiful she looked.  It certainly wasn’t the way Jacen would want the mother of his child walking around.

At least she had shoes on.

The second incident occurred after Jacen had made an offhand comment referring to Tahiri as Anakin’s girlfriend.  Anakin had raised his arm, used the Force to call a small holo-cube sitting on a table in the Antilles sitting room to his hand, and slapped it down in front of Jacen.  He’d triggered the play button, again using the Force, and treated all there to a recording of the wedding ceremony Wedge had performed, evidently not long after Anakin had begged Tahiri to take him back.

Mom was going to love that; no more ‘forty-two’ – it was legal everywhere now.

It wasn’t the fact that Anakin and Tahiri were really married that annoyed Jacen so much as the emotion he could feel pouring off of Anakin in the Force while the recording played.  His brother wasn’t playing it in a ‘I want to share this happy occasion with you’ sort of way, it was a ‘kriff you and the bantha you rode in on’ sort of way; it was a ‘you and your feelings regarding my relationship mean nothing’ sort of way, and that bothered Jacen more than he wanted to admit.

He’d long since gotten over any hope that Anakin would leave Tahiri, or that her leaving him would stick.  It wasn’t even that Jacen thought Anakin should choose his family over Tahiri and Will, it was the idea that nothing mattered to him as much as Tahiri and Will, least of all his family, that hurt.  

Jacen just didn’t understand.  

Of course, he’d never understood the attraction there.  He’d assumed in the beginning that Tahiri’s appeal was that she was familiar, went along with Anakin’s hair-brained schemes, fed his worst instincts, and that as he matured he’d see that she was trouble.  Jacen assumed that when they were younger she gave Anakin what any hormone driven teenaged boy would want and that eventually the ‘bond’ would wane.  It had almost been a relief to him that Anakin wasn’t going to be around to be saddled with her and a child; his brother deserved better than that; his brother was better than that.

And yet here they were, years later, ‘happily’ married, with that very child, and all the Solo family’s complaints and objections had done was drive Anakin away, further into this insignificant little orphan’s arms.  And to top it off, his family now wanted a relationship with Anakin, and that child, and they weren’t allowed because of how they’d treated her.  

Apparently how she’d treated them didn’t count.

Now, as if dinner hadn’t been painful enough, as if fighting in a space battle and having to endure being ‘saved’ by Tahiri hadn’t already taxed Jacen’s patience, he found himself making his way to a party for someone he didn’t know, with people who didn’t like him when he should have been locked in his room meditating or doing something else to relieve the stress and angst brought on by the day.

Jag wasn’t any happier about their destination, he could feel that clearly, assumed Anakin and Tahiri could as well, but they didn’t seem to care.  Jaina wasn’t super happy about going either, but she was determined to do anything she could to get back into Anakin’s good graces.

Good luck, Sis.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jaina was trying to ignore Jacen’s mood, had been trying to ignore it all day, but had found it particularly hard during dinner.

It had been wonderful spending time with the Antilles and the Celchus – people who had meant so much to her throughout her life.  Wedge was her hold-father, Winter her hold-mother and nanny until she was four.  Their company brought a feeling of comfort she hadn’t realized she’d missed so much, a sense that as much as things had changed since the invasion, there were still safe harbors she could seek shelter in.

She wasn’t a fool – she understood plainly that the four friends who had fought with her parents and uncle against the Empire were devoted to Anakin and Tahiri and their son, that they saw all that had gone on between Tahiri and her family in Anakin’s absence as a blight on her family’s record, but they were kind enough to not take her out and shoot her between the main course and dessert, and for that she was grateful.

It had also been nice to see Jag with his uncle; to watch him enrapt as Wedge had spoken of Syal, Jag’s mother Syal, with fondness and the kind of awe that only a younger sibling can have for an elder.  

Of course it had also made her sad because she knew that Anakin wouldn’t be speaking of her with that same wistfulness anytime soon… possibly not ever again, but she tried to bury that fear and focus on the opportunity she was being given to spend time with Anakin and his family.  Tried to focus on how sweet and loving he and Tahiri were with each other, and that they’d faced a really rough time after he’d come back and had come through it so strong, and that they adored their son and that Will was a sweet little boy.

She didn’t want to go to this party any more than Jag or Jacen, but it was important to her that Anakin see that she was trying, and so she and Jag and Jacen were sucking it up and going along.

She prayed that making them join her wouldn’t be a mistake; that Jacen wouldn’t start a fight with Anakin - that Anakin wouldn’t lose his temper and just shoot him.

That wouldn’t be good.

After a seemingly endless journey through hallways, down numerous lifts and into the belly of the Star Destroyer, they finally arrived at what turned out to be a bar of sorts; a large room full of the pilots and mechanics Jaina had seen and met earlier in the day, and many others.  The commandos seemed to be well represented and Jaina remembered that it was Bram, the Lumbonts head commando, whose birthday was being celebrated.

Their entrance caused a stir, all in the room seeming to be aware right away that Anakin and Tahiri had arrived - everyone knew them, and they knew everyone.

Jaina was shocked to see her quiet, self-contained brother slapping backs and shaking hands with a dozen beings as he made his way through the room.  Tahiri had disappeared as soon as they’d cleared the doorway; Jaina had lost sight of her almost instantly, so she’d hung back behind Anakin, watching him work the crowd.  It reminded her a little of Leia on a good night, though she doubted Leia would have neglected to introduce them.

Anakin and Valin headed toward a table in the corner.  Sitting in the middle of the table was a sign marked ‘You aren’t really stupid enough to sit here, are you?’  

Jaina supposed it was her brother’s highly irreverent squad’s idea of a ‘reserved’ sign. 

As Anakin reached his chair, and she had no doubt it was ‘his’ chair, a Zeltron was setting a glass of whiskey, neat, and an open ale in front of him.  Again, it was clear that he was known, as was his order.

He was still greeting people, though now, he was receiving more like a Hutt than a commanding officer, the beings acting more like underlings paying their ‘respects’ then pilots saying hello to a colonel, and as he was finishing his first whiskey, another was being set in its place.

They’d been sitting at Anakin’s table for almost an hour, Jacen clearly miserable, Jag a little better after having polished off his own drink, and Jaina actually sort of enjoying watching her little brother rule the roost.  Music was blasting, though not so loud that they couldn’t talk; just loud enough to make conversation difficult if they wanted it to be, when Jaina caught sight of Tahiri – dancing over to the table slowly, hips and head swaying to the music.  In one hand she carried a plate piled high with what looked to be small cakes dusted with a powdery substance.  In her other hand was a half eaten piece of the same desert, and on her face, as she chewed, was a look of pure ecstasy.

Anakin took the plate from her and set it on the table as he pulled her down to his lap.  She draped an arm around his shoulders languidly as she popped the rest of the piece of cake she was working on into her mouth, and licked her fingers. 

Anakin chuckled.  “I’ll have to thank Yorg for making you Slord Cakes again.”

“Mmhmmm,” she purred into Anakin’s ear, before placing a kiss below it, then another below that, followed by a few more.

“How many have you had?” he asked her, amused.

Anakin’s neck was forgotten as she slowly sat up, her brow knit together in concentration for a moment. “Three?  Four?” she asked, as though he might know the answer.  She then reached for the plate again. 

Anakin caught her hand and brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss. “Why don’t we wait for all of those to kick in before you have anymore?”

Tahiri shrugged agreeably, then shut her eyes and rested her cheek against Anakin’s head as she began to run her fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what he puts in these…” 

Valin, sitting between Anakin and Jacen, polished off his ale, smacked his lips lightly and said, “Same thing he always puts in them, Ree.”

Anakin smiled broadly and explained to his siblings; “Yorg’s mother was a pastry chef, was forced into service at one of Palpatine’s palaces because she was so good...”

“Yorg’s father was a chemist,” Valin cut in, his grin matching Anakin’s.“Really?”  Tahiri asked sitting up again, her obvious surprise bringing guffaws from both men.  “How come I never knew that?”

Anakin kissed her shoulder.  “You did, my love.”

“We tell you every time, Ree.”  Valin confessed.

“Really?”  She asked again, “How come I don’t remember?”  

“Because his father was a chemist!” Valin practically shouted.

Tahiri shrugged, picked up another piece of cake and was about to bite into it when Anakin eased the cake out of her hand and shook his head, laughing gently.  “Not yet.”

Tahiri pouted for a moment, then smiled.  She pointed at Jacen and laughed happily.  When her giggles had distracted Anakin, she opened her mouth and lunged for the cake still in his hand.  She got a bite, and with her mouth full, began to laugh again.  She grabbed the rest of the piece Anakin was holding and held it out to Jacen as she swallowed and began to giggle uncontrollably.  

Anakin laughed at her; then asked what was so funny.

“He,” she finally said, still laughing and holding the cake out to Jacen, “should try these.”

Jacen looked horrified, and shook his head as he raised a hand to her.  “Thanks, I’m okay.”

“No, really.”  Tahiri insisted.  “You should.  It will totally change…” She could hardly speak, but kept trying, and Anakin laughed with her, which only made her laugh harder.  “It will totally change your view of… your view of… your view of the Force.”

By the time she got the words out, Valin was laughing as hard as Anakin and Tahiri, and Jaina was fighting not to join them because the idea of Jacen on anything that could make him as ‘happy’ as Tahiri was hilarious.  

It seemed only Jag was as insulted by the idea that Jacen needed to loosen up as Jacen himself.

Tahiri’s laughter stopped suddenly when the music changed.  She squealed, shoved the last of the cake in her hand into her mouth and jumped up from Anakin’s lap, then turned to kiss him.  He patted her hip, told her to have fun, and then watched her dance away, meeting up with Paloma, who was already on the floor.

Turning back to the table, he met Jacen’s look, a look Jaina was all too familiar with; disapproval.

Anakin shot back the last of the whiskey in his glass, then chased it down with a long pull from his ale bottle before asking, “What?  Is your problem that someone’s having fun, or that she’s having fun?  Do you really dislike her that much?”

The mirth Jaina had been feeling died instantly as the moment she’d been hoping wouldn’t arrive reared its ugly head.

“This isn’t about me disliking Tahiri.” Jacen bit out.

“Oh, that’s a separate issue?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what is your issue, at this particular moment?”

“Don’t you think it’s a little irresponsible?”

“What? Having fun?  You don’t think Yoda ever tied one on?”

Jaina ducked her head and stifled a giggle.

“I have a hard time imagining the Grand Master of the old Jedi Order with a hangover.” Jacen stated imperiously.

Anakin shrugged.  “Probably the original ailment healing trances were invented for.”

Jaina sat back, continued to try to squash down the laugh that was threatening to escape her, and mouthed ‘thank you’ when their waitress set another ale in front of her.  She was going to need it with where this conversation was going.

“Have you really lost all respect for the Force?” Jacen was now demanding.

“No Jacen, I’ve lost all respect for pompous windbags who think that their way of doing things is the only way things should be done.  Especially when they conveniently change their views after lecturing the rest of us for years.” 

So, Anakin knew about the Potentium, too.  

Jaina had to hand it to Tahiri; she was good.  Whoever she, and therefore Anakin, was getting information on Zonama Sekot from, he seemed to be getting it right.  And frankly, after all that Anakin had feared, given his name, given Chewbacca, given Centerpoint, and Ikrit, after what everyone else had speculated in terms of her brother following in their grandfather’s path, she could understand him being bitter about the sudden shift in the Order’s view of Light and Dark.

But Jacen was on a self-righteous roll and ignored Anakin’s comment.  Jaina grabbed her ale and sat back again, deciding that monitoring the situation from afar was better than partaking in it.  She’d be better able to jump in and prevent bloodshed if she had a clear view of the battlefield.

Those cakes were looking good though and she had a sudden urge to join her sister-in-law in obliviousness, let the boys have at it on their own and enjoy the rest of her evening.  Maybe even join Tahiri on the dance floor – she and Paloma looked to be having a great time.

Before she could work up the nerve to reach for the cake plate, Jacen was at it again.

“Fine, you have no respect for the new ideas the Jedi are exploring; have you lost respect for the Force itself?”

“Hardly, the Force is the one thing that I do respect, the thing that I’ve always respected; I didn’t choose to stop using the Force in some self-indulgent exercise when the galaxy needed me to use my natural talents to defend life.”

Jacen was steaming now and Jaina cradled her ale bottle to herself in between sips while she felt her brothers squaring off mentally, then Jacen brightened, a clear sign he thought he’d gain the upper hand with the argument he was about to launch.

“And how is shooting stuff and partying and having sex showing respect for the Force?”

Anakin stared at him for a second, then laughed out loud.

“Oh, come on Jacen, you can do better than that.  You aren’t actually going to sit there and tell me that having fun is ‘of the dark side’, are you?  Because if that’s the case – fit me for my black suit; I’m Grandpa.” Anakin slapped the palm of his hand against his forehead.  “Oh – wait – there is no Dark Side, so, am I just a Sith?”

That flustered Jacen, but he didn’t seem inclined to let that slow him down and Jaina vaguely wondered if Anakin’s new-found ability to verbally spar was a skill he’d picked up after ten years of living with Tahiri.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t have fun,” her twin was now arguing, “I’m saying the kind of fun she’s having seems irresponsible.”

“Why?  We’re adults, we’re off duty, we’re in a contained environment.”

“And you have a son.”

Anakin’s smile disappeared instantly.  “Who is asleep and being taken care of by competent people who love him while a group of highly trained soldiers stands outside their quarters.  What’s your point?”

“Shouldn’t you be taking care of him?”

“Kriff.  Like our parents took care of us?”

Even Jaina bristled slightly at the insult to Han and Leia, but neither she nor Jacen had a chance to defend their parents before Anakin continued.

“Unlike the way you and Jaina and I were raised, and contrary to the impression you may have gotten because of Will being with Valin today, my son is actually cared for the majority of the time by his mother, or me, or both of us.  We’ve built our lives around him, we’ve built our schedules around his.  My squad doesn’t love that the majority of our patrols are at night, they would much prefer to spend their evenings in bars rather than flying, but they don’t complain because they know how important it is to Tahiri and me that we be on ship during the day while Will is awake, and flying while he’s asleep whenever that’s possible. And it is precisely because we want to raise our son ourselves that he is here and not in the Maw.  Given all that; I think it would actually be unhealthy if Tahiri and I didn’t have some playtime of our own once in a while after we’ve put Will down for the night.”

“I already said; I’m not finding fault with your wanting to have fun, I am questioning the type of fun you’re having.”

“Has it occurred to you that if we weren’t Force wielding freaks raised by power mongers that this is precisely what we would have been doing during our university years?  We’re actually acting like normal 19 and 21-year olds for once.”

“But you’re not normal 19 and 21-year olds, and you’re parents.”  

“You keep coming back to that.  I wish I could believe that it was my son’s welfare that was inspiring your concern, but given the fact that you haven’t shown any concern for him since his birth, or before that, it’s sort of hard for me to swallow now.”

“What she’s doing is illegal.”

Anakin laughed again, Valin joining in, and Jacen steamed more.  He hated being laughed at.

“We aren’t doing anything illegal.  All the ingredients in Slord Cakes can be found in any human pantry.  Tahiri’s right, you really ought to try one.  Might loosen that stick up your…”

“Ahn-ahh-kihhn… “  

Tahiri was on the edge of the dance floor; one finger crooked, a suggestive smile on her face, as she beckoned her husband.  

Anakin nodded to her, then turned back to the table as he peeled off his shirt, the one that was already hanging open, leaving him in just his t-shirt.  He finished off his ale, took a piece of the cake off the plate and popped it into his mouth with a smile, swallowed it down and, grabbing a second piece, stood up and said to Jacen, “I’ll have Yorg send the recipe to the Queen’s chef.”  

Jacen’s expression turned to rage and Jaina had to bite back another laugh at Anakin’s reference to his unrequited teenage crush on their former classmate.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s someone I’d like to spend a little time with.”  Then, saluting Jacen with the cake – Anakin turned and headed for Tahiri.

Jaina watched her brother in fascination as he approached his wife.  The music had changed as Anakin was standing up, a sexually charged sound emitting from the speakers as the bass and drums beat out a syncopated rhythm.  

Tahiri’s expression had changed too; an unmistakable ‘come and get me’ challenge lighting her features while she took one step backward for every two steps Anakin took forward.  Jaina couldn’t see Anakin’s face, but something in the way he moved, in the almost predatory way he seemed to stalk his wife while she continued to lure him deeper onto the dance floor told Jaina that her brother was more than up to the challenge his wife was throwing down, and that they would both enjoy what was going to happen when he got to her.  

By the time Anakin reached Tahiri, her body was already swaying.  He wrapped his hands around her waist then slid them down low behind her, pulling her body against his, falling into step with her instantly as she surrendered; she was caught, she was his; to do with her as he pleased.  The air around them seemed to pop and buzz instantly, the raw passion radiating off them a nearly palpable thing as they fell into the beat of the music.

Valin chuckled as he set his ale down and Jaina looked at him.

“You’re in for a treat.  The Anakin and Tahiri Show is always a feast for the eyes.  Not to mention the other senses.  Half the party will have disappeared to go make out in corners by the midpoint of this song.  Though most of them wouldn’t be able to tell you why they feel the sudden urge to take off their clothes and jump the nearest person to them.”

Jaina turned back to watch the dance.  Actually, ‘dance’ was a rather generous description for what Anakin and Tahiri were doing.  The sensuality was startling.  

Tahiri’s head fell back, her neck exposed, as Anakin let her drift into a deep back bend, leaning over her, sliding his hands up to her shoulders to support her as she arched into him.  Their hips never parted as the music continued and Jaina wondered vaguely if anyone else was surprised, or bothered, by the display, or thought throwing water on the smoldering pair might be a good idea.  Given Valin’s remarks, she supposed not.  They were likely all too busy looking for their own partners to ‘dance’ with, unaware of the fact that they were subconsciously responding to what was coming off of Anakin and Tahiri in the Force.  

If she didn’t know better, Jaina would swear one or both of them was part Falleen, given the effect they were having on the crowd.

As the tempo shifted, Anakin lifted Tahiri back up, and she draped her arms around his neck.  They were still keeping perfect time with the music, their bodies still moving in unison, their hips still rocking in sync, with one of Anakin’s legs nestled between Tahiri’s as his hands began creeping back down her body, holding her firmly against his own.   Tahiri traced one hand down Anakin’s chest, then up under his shirt, and wound the other up into his hair, pulling him down for a deep kiss as they continued to move.  

Once again they seemed oblivious to all around them.  

As suggestive as their behavior was, as intimate as it was in this crowded room, as much as Jaina had no desire to actually engage in such exhibitionist behavior, she still felt a pang of jealousy because she knew Jag would never feel free enough to behave even remotely similar with her.

Jag cleared his throat and asked, “Are they always so… demonstrative?”; unknowingly confirming her suspicions.

Valin shook his head and laughed again; then looked back at Jaina.  “You just don’t get it, do you?  He’s walked across three planets for her; she refused to give up on him when everyone else was sure he was dead.  Demonstrative?  They rejoice in every kriffing second they have together.  Yes, they’re demonstrative, yes, we tease them about it.  None of us would have it any other way.  The rest of us pray that we’ll find love like that one day.  It’s what we all aspire to, it’s what we’re all fighting to live for.”

“I can’t believe how much he’s changed.” Jaina finally said.

“He hasn’t changed at all,” Valin went on, “you’re just seeing a side of him that he used to only show her.”

Jaina was thoughtful for a moment, eyed the plate of cakes in front of her, then, when she was sure she’d spotted the smallest one, reached out and grabbed it and popped it into her mouth, delighted by the taste.  She smiled to herself, smiled wider at Jacen’s scowl, grabbed a second piece, a bigger one, and stood up.

“You know what Jacen, Valin’s right,” she said, as she popped the second piece into her mouth and grabbed a third.  She then grabbed Jag’s hand.  “C’mon Jagged.  Let’s dance.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 17
Ramble On

30 ABY
Hallway leading to squadron simulator room, Lusankya
18 months after Anakin’s Return

Anakin chuckled to himself as he caught sight of Wedge up ahead in the hall, his parents and aunt and uncle trailing behind him.

This should be interesting.

Meeting the group outside the door to the simulator room, he stopped and smiled.

He nodded to Wedge first, “Good evening again, General.”

“Colonel Solo,” Wedge returned, a broad grin on his face. “Look who I found wandering around my ship.”

He smiled at Leia first, “Hello Mom. I’d give you a hug, but my hands are a little full,” he said, lifting Tahiri slightly. He had one arm under her knees, the other wrapped around her back, his hand splayed on her ribs to hold her against his chest. Her own arms were wound loosely around his neck, her head facing over his shoulder, facing Valin.

He didn’t mean it, his claim to Leia, and she probably knew that, but it felt like the right thing to say to his mother after not having seen her for so long.

He looked to his father next. “Hey Dad, it’s good to see you.”

“Hey, kid, it’s good to see you, too.” And he could tell his dad truly meant it.

He was about to greet Luke and Mara when Tahiri finally seemed to realize they’d stopped moving, or that Valin was unconscious, and therefore not susceptible to her taunting, only upright because Junip and Stoker were holding him up between them; and turned to face the relatives.

“I thought I felt a disturbance in the Force,” Tahiri announced, before laughing and tucking her head into Anakin’s neck.

Anakin tried to keep a straight face, tried to ignore the look of disdain from Leia, the looks of shock from his aunt and uncle. He felt the rage brewing in his brother, who was now standing next to their mother, then gave up on ignoring, smiling widely.

Jaina stepped up beside him, leaning heavily on Jag, and swayed as she said to the family, “welcome to the Love Boat. You wouldn’t believe the desserts Anakin’s squad cooks up.”

Wedge’s eyes nearly popped out of his head as he looked from Jaina to Anakin, then he laughed too. “Oh… Anakin… she didn’t…”

“Blame your nephew, Sir. I had my own woman to keep track of.”

Wedge shook his head. “And it looks like you did an exemplary job.”

“You should have been keeping a better eye on my sister Jag.” Jacen fumed.

“Wait, I was supposed to be keeping track of Jaina?” Jag asked, sounding somewhat confused. “I thought she was ok as long as she was with Tahiri.”

Anakin looked at Jag, astonished. “What in the Galaxy gave you that idea?”

“Well, Jaina wanted to keep dancing, and I was going to sit down and have another drink and Tahiri said Jaina would be fine with her and Paloma, and the cake plate was on our table...”

Anakin laughed out loud. “A cake plate was on our table... not the plate.” But before Jag could answer, Jaina swayed again, falling into Anakin’s side. “Ho, watch it there, sis," he laughed.

She looked up at him and whispered, though not very quietly, “I really like your wife. She’s fun. And she knows where all the good deserts are.”

“Yes, she does.”

“And you’re a really good brother.”

“I’m trying, Jay.”

“No matter what else happens, I’m really glad we had tonight. I’ve missed you.”

There was a lot of emotion behind her statement, and though Anakin wished he could believe that it was all sincere, he figured he should credit the cakes with at least some of it, but he smiled down at her anyway, and just said, “I’ve missed you too.”

Jaina swayed again, falling into Anakin’s side. “Oops, sorry.” Jaina giggled. “Thought we were still dancing there for a minute.”

Anakin shook his head, and told Jag, “You may want to pick her up. I’m not just carrying Tahiri ‘cause she’s cute. More than six or seven of those cakes and coordination goes all to hell.”

“Back on point” Wedge said, grabbing Anakin’s attention again, “are we doing what I think we’re doing?”

Tahiri picked her head up from where she’d been resting it next to Anakin’s neck, where she’d begun placing little bites and kisses below his ear, undoubtedly thinking her mouth was hidden behind her own arm, and turned toward Wedge and asked him; “You know how to say ‘star food’ in Bothan?” and, before he could respond, proclaimed, “Valin!” and then began to giggle again.

Anakin saw the grin Han was trying to hide, and remembered how much fun his father could be, wished his mother and his brother weren’t there, and decided he’d ignore them and continue to enjoy his evening.

Wedge clapped his hands together. “Alright, brief me,” he ordered.

Anakin grew serious, or at least tried to look serious, and brought him up to speed;
“Lieutenant Horn’s had four whiskeys and six ales, and is doing a thirty minute juvie trance. Agent Veila’s had who knows how many cakes…”

“Eleven.” Tahiri admitted.

“Fourteen.” Jaina countered.

“Twelve.” Tahiri corrected.

“Twenty-seven.” Jaina threw out.

“Forty-two.” They both shouted in unison, which made everyone just shake their heads as they continued to laugh.

“And will do a twenty minute trance.” Anakin finally finished.

“Ehh… pull her out in five, this might be a race,” Wedge said as he pulled out his commlink and hailed Tycho, giving him the information before asking, “What are the parameters?”

Anakin cleared his throat, and tried really hard not to laugh as he said; “Battle of Yavin, Sir,” but then couldn’t hold the laugh in while he said, “He’s Luke Skywalker, she’s Darth Vader.”

Tahiri pointed in Han’s general direction, “And you’re not saving his ass this time, kid,” and then giggled some more.

Shock tore through the Force, though Tahiri’s outburst had come so fast on the heels of Anakin’s answer to Wedge that he couldn’t tell if his mother and uncle were incensed by his wife’s words or his own. The fact that Wedge was in on the game did not appear to have gone unnoticed by his father or aunt however, and they both seemed to get the humor of the situation.

Wedge grabbed all of their attention when he cut back in with, “Do they have to kill the other before they take out the Death Star?”

“No, Sir.” Anakin answered. “The station’s fair game, they just have to get to it before Tarkin gives the fire order. And no Red Squadron or Falcon.” Anakin looked back to his father and smiled. “Sorry Dad, but she’s right, you’re not saving his ass this time.”

Han smiled too. “No problem, kid.”

“Hodge handling the wagers tonight?” Wedge asked.

“Yes, Sir.” Hodge said, as he wound his way through the crowd that had gathered behind Anakin.

Wedge rattled off the bets Tycho, Iella, and Winter were calling down, and Anakin could hear Tycho saying that he was on his way and that they weren’t to start without him.

Tycho was the one who had trained Tahiri in the TIE sims when she’d been pregnant. Iella had insisted that Tahiri couldn’t work around the clock during those long months, but Tahiri had needed some way to burn off her nervous energy and keep her mind off of Anakin, so Tycho had taught her to fly and took great pride in her winning streak.

Anakin hefted Tahiri a little higher up in his arms as she began making throaty breathing sounds; imitating his grandfather.

Jacen folded his arms and glared at her, saying, “Unbelievable.”

It was Jaina though, who stunned Anakin by scolding, “Oh, shut up, Jacen, you’re harshing my high.” Which sent Tahiri into another fit of giggles. Jaina followed suit, which made Tahiri laugh harder, until the two were pointing to each other, both hysterical.

Anakin glanced over at his uncle but couldn’t get a read on his reaction to all that was going on, and finally decided he didn’t care.

“Alright,” Wedge called, “Send her under. Let’s get this thing going.”

Anakin looked down at Tahiri, waited for her to calm down, then bumped his nose on her forehead to get her attention, and said, “Hey, you ready?”

She smiled sweetly and asked, “Can I take off my shoes to fly?”

“Whatever makes you happy, Grandpa.”

Her smile turned less sweet, a smile Anakin knew well and loved. She ran a finger down his cheek and, heedless of the crowd, drawled, “Call me Grandpa again and I’ll wear black for you later.”

Several laughs came from behind them, and Anakin mouthed ‘Grandpa’, to which Tahiri smiled widely, and Leia huffed.

“Alright, my love, clear your mind.”

She made a noise, somewhere between a snort and a stifled laugh and said, “Oh, Anakin, there’s nothing in there right now.”

He pressed his lips to her forehead, then whispered; “Let me in,” as he gazed into her eyes. He focused, reached for her in their bond, felt her reach for him, then chuckled as her eyes rolled and her head whipped back.

Eight red fingers appeared out of nowhere to brace Tahiri’s skull, and Paloma gave him a stern look.

“One of these days you’re going to snap her neck.”

Anakin grinned again. “Nah, that’s what I keep you around for, Lomi.”

“Alright, troops,” Wedge was in commander mode, anxious to get his credits worth, “to your battle stations. Trey, take Tahiri, Anakin has work to do. Who’s timing the trances? Don’t give her a second more than ten minutes. C’mon Luke… you’re going to love this.”

Anakin doubted that, but he passed his wife off to his friend, and felt his dad at his elbow as he made his way to the programming module and began to bring up the information for the competition.

“So, what’s the story?” Han asked.

“With the sim? It’s a grudge match. Valin’s manhood versus Tahiri’s cockiness; she’s way ahead. Endor, Yavin, Bacta, Duro, Requiem, Thyferra, head-to-head… She’s beaten him…” Anakin nodded to the front of the room, ‘Tahiri’ and ‘Valin’ written on a board there, the numbers 'seventy-seven’ and ‘twenty-six’ under their names. “… repeatedly and he keeps coming back for more.”

“Wow…” Han whistled. “I would’ve assumed they were friends.”

“Oh, they’re mad for each other, wing mates in fact. And they’re the only ones allowed to insult each other. You don’t want to know the misery those two are capable of inflicting on anyone stupid enough to say a negative thing about the other. But get a few drinks in him, and a few Slord Cakes in her, and they feel the need to rip each other up in the sims. Highly entertaining for the rest of us.”

“Must make Corran crazy.”

“He refuses to watch anymore. And he owes me big. Actually, everyone here does. I’ve stopped collecting; makes me feel bad. I could buy a house and put Will through school on what these poor slobs owe me. It’s sort of become tradition; my standard birthday gift to everyone is to forgive their debts, wipe their slates clean. Of course we generally spend the end of every party right back here, me winning their creds back again, so it’s hard for me to feel too sorry for any of them anymore.”

“She that good?”

Anakin glanced up at his father and smiled proudly. “Yeah, she is. Between her Jedi reflexes and the fact that she’ll hurl herself in front of anything… you’d think she was born a Solo when she gets in the cockpit.” Then his smile faded. “Which is fun to watch in here, not as much fun when we’re out on patrol. The woman is going to make me grey before I’m twenty-five.”

“She’s been hurling herself in front of stuff since she was nine.”

“True. I guess I can’t really claim I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.”

“No, you can’t. And you deserve the punishment for getting married and starting a family so young. If you hadn’t been dead when I found out I’d have grounded you for that.”

“You’re almost as funny as your other son.”

Han chuckled then kept going, “And how is your son?”

“He’s good, he’s really good. Iella send you the holos of him with his helmet on?”

“Yeah, they were great.”

“She send the one where his shield fell forward and he had to tilt his head back to look out under the visor? With his little chin up in the air?”

“That was my favorite.”

“Mom see ‘em?”

“I think so.”

They were both quiet again until Han asked, “Tahiri doin’ okay?”

“Yeah. Can’t wait for this to be over. She hates that Will’s never seen sky, or trees, or real grass.”

“I can imagine. Having to raise a kid on a Star Destroyer isn’t right.”

“Beats the hell out of sending him to the Maw, though. Speaking of which, how mad are Luke and Mara going to be about this?”

“The sim? They’ve got a little better sense of humor than your mom these days. Though, if it was Jacen making Darth Vader breathing sounds the Princess probably wouldn’t be sitting in the corner throwing an aneurysm.”

“That was sort of always the case. I got used to it.”

“Funny, Jacen always thought you were the favorite. But I think that’s part of having siblings; thinking one of the others is the favorite.”

“Maybe.”

“We all miss you, you know.”

Anakin didn’t know how to respond to that but didn’t have too long to think about it before Han kept going.

“Is it Tahiri? Does she not want you to see us?”

Anakin tried to control the flare of anger, tried to believe his father was just asking a question and not assigning blame. “It was never Tahiri, it’s me. She feels responsible and regrets her part in what happened on Hapes and the things she said that she can never take back. She wishes that she could change a lot of what was done.”

“So… she told you everything?”

“Yeah, when I made her. And it wasn’t that she was trying to hide what she had done, she was trying to protect me. She was trying to protect me from what all of you had done.”

“And we haven’t seen you because…?”

“Aside from the fact that I’ve been busy fighting a war? Because I’m not ready to deal with it yet. I’m not ready to deal with Mom’s and Jacen’s parts in what happened and I’m not going to ask my wife to spend time with them when I’m not ready to spend time with them.”

“Would she? If you asked her to?”

“Of course.” Anakin sighed and ran and hand through his hair. “Look, do you think Mom is perfect?”

Han rolled his eyes.

Anakin finished with the programming and stood up and faced his father full on, putting his hands on his hips.

“I want to make something really clear before you go back and report this conversation to the rest of the family; at no point did I think that Tahiri was an innocent victim in this situation. I’m not an idiot, I know my wife, I know her faults, and I know better than anyone what kind of mouth she has on her. I was furious with her when I found out everything that happened, and I had no problem imagining exactly what she did or how the whole situation played out. In fact, I moved back out for several weeks while we were working through it, and I spent a lot of time during those several weeks in my therapist’s office, with her and without her.

“Once I calmed down, I realized that as angry as I was with her, I was angrier with you guys. She was alone; she had no one. You were supposed to take care of my wife and my son, and instead Luke tried to send her to a cluster of black kriffing holes, and you dumped her on strangers. She needed family, Dad. She needed to feel safe, she needed people she knew to help her deal with her grief and how scared and lonely she was and what she got instead was Mom blaming her and Jacen calling her names.

“Tahiri would agree to spend time with them if I asked her to because she loves me and would do anything to make me happy, but aside from that; if given the opportunity, she would do anything she could to fix this. No matter how far we’ve come, no matter how much she and I have worked through, even though she knows, intellectually, that I forgave her a long time ago, emotionally she still has a hard time with it because she also knows that I will always wish that she had behaved better than she did. She wishes that she had behaved better than she did.”

Han scrubbed a hand over his face. “I think we all wish that we had behaved better than we did.”

“Really?”

“Of course. You don’t think your mother regrets what happened, or what she’s lost and has missed out on because of it?”

“Would she still feel that way if I hadn’t accidently lived? Would it matter to her how things were left with Tahiri if I hadn’t turned up? Or would she just pretend that the two most important people in my life don’t exist?”

“Look, I understand and respect that you know your wife, but give me some credit for knowing mine, and, I might add, for a little longer. Yes, your mother does regret what happened, and yes, she does regret what she’s missed, it tears her up that she hasn’t seen you or Will. But you and me fighting about it ain’t gonna help. We’re probably the only two rational members of this family. If you and I don’t step up and do something this could drag out forever, and I want my family back, Anakin. I want my son and my daughter-in-law, but most of all, I want my grandson, and I’m sorry if putting Will ahead of you hurts your feelings, but I’m trying to be honest here.”

Anakin smiled at his father. “That’s okay, he’s pretty amazing. I’d put him ahead of me too.”

“Can you give them a chance? Can’t you see that they’re sorry?”

Anakin grew serious again and sighed. “Frankly, no. Mom’s made no attempt to apologize, and I’m pretty damn sure Jacen isn’t sorry. Tahiri probably saved Jacen’s life today, and could have gotten herself killed doing it, and he’s been nothing but nasty to her since he walked into my hangar. For whatever reason he wasn’t a huge fan of hers before she blamed him for Myrkr, I can’t imagine that he’ll ever like her. In all honesty, I don’t care, but the one thing he’ll have to do, the one thing I will demand, is that he treat her with respect. If today is anything to go by, he’s far from capable of doing that, so I’m far from feeling that a reconciliation is possible.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go bring my wife out of her trance so we can watch her kick Horn’s ass,” Anakin gave his father a lopsided grin, “because, there is good in her, I’ve felt it.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jaina felt fantastic… really fantastic.

She didn’t know what Yorg put in his Slord Cakes, and apparently neither did Tahiri, but they were great and they made her feel all tingly inside, and every time Jag touched her, her skin radiated warmth.

Screw sending the recipe to Tenel Ka – Jaina wanted Anakin to have Yorg send the recipe to C-3PO. She was going to have to have more of these made and Jag was going to have to try them.

Jaina was perched on Jag’s lap now; ignoring both her father and her twin, the latter she was vaguely debating running through with her lightsaber, and watching the giant heads up display at the front of the room.

Anakin had brought Tahiri out of her ‘juvie’ trance, as he had called it, which Jaina thought was a funny name, and Jaina felt bad for her sister-in-law, and thought maybe she should run back to the bar, or ask Paloma to, to find more cakes for Tahiri so she could feel tingly again after she was done taking Valin down, which, apparently, she was about to do.

The screen at the front of the room was divided into four sections; one was the view from Tahiri’s TIE cockpit, and Jaina was curious as to why in the worlds Tahiri would have learned to fly a TIE, or why there would even be a TIE simulator on Wedge’s ship. One section of the screen was Valin’s view from his X-Wing simm, one was a version of the holo-display the Rebel Alliance command center would have had to monitor the battle being waged in space over Yavin Four, and the fourth was the view that the Rebels guessed Grand Moff Tarkin would have had from the Command Salon of the Death Star.

The noise in the sim room was loud, the partiers yelling and calling out directions and encouragement to Tahiri and Valin; their own taunts and cajoling broadcast from speakers hanging in the corners of the room.

Tahiri kept up a constant chatter, asking different people if they knew how to say ‘star food’ in various languages, the answer always being ‘Valin’. She asked Valin if he was really full blooded Corellian because every Corellian she’d ever met flew better than he did, then she marveled that Anakin was only half Corellian, and yet twice as good as Valin.

Valin called to Anakin over the speakers - asked him how he put up with Tahiri’s relentless talking, how he stood the continuous drone of her voice, whether or not she talked in her sleep, whether or not he had to hide in the ‘fresher to get away from the grating sound of her nagging, whether or not she nagged him in bed, whether or not she bossed him around in the bedroom.

Anakin sat back, the front legs of his chair tipped off the ground, arms folded over his chest, a wide grin on his face as his delight shone brightly in the Force. He clearly enjoyed watching his wife dog his friend through space. He chuckled and shook his head when Tahiri ripped through Valin’s shields, and then proclaimed that now they were both naked, but that Anakin was more fun to be naked with.

When Tahiri had taken out Valin’s astromech, someone yelled out that now Valin was ‘flying a Solo too’. That brought a ruckus round of hoots and whistles from almost everyone.

The counter wound down to thirty-four seconds, Valin was in the trench, making a pass for the kill on the Death Star, having momentarily given up on shooting Tahiri, when she came out of nowhere, blazing in above and behind him.

Her trajectory was on an intercept course with Valin’s X-Wing; if she didn’t adjust and straighten out in time, she’d meet the surface of the station and explode; if Valin didn’t pull up in time, she’d have him trapped. Valin - trying to hang on long enough to fire his proton torpedoes into the reactor shaft – didn’t pull up in time. Not only did Tahiri pin him in and blast him away – screaming STAR FOOD into her head set – but she fired her quad lasers just in time to hit the reactor shaft herself before she absolutely had to pull up to avoid hitting the surface - she pulled up in time – and veered away as the famed battle station burst into a disk of gold and white gas.

Anakin leapt from his seat, pumping his fists into the air, screaming ‘Yes’, as beings of varied species slapped his back and mussed his hair. He turned toward Bram, gave him a two handed high five, then bound over to Tahiri’s simulator, barely waiting for the door to raise and her to pull her helmet off before he had her out of the cockpit and was swinging her around and kissing her soundly.

When Anakin finally set Tahiri down, she was laughing loudly, head thrown back, ecstatic over her win, then, she ran over to Valin, and jumped into his arms. He, much to Jaina’s surprise, didn’t seem angry or upset, but was laughing as well; shaking his head as Tahiri tickled his ribs and kissed his cheek.

Despite their mutual taunting and goading, it was clear that their competition was just a good time and that they adored each other.

The tingly feeling Jaina had been enjoying faded suddenly and was replaced by sadness. She was suddenly sad that all this fun that she was watching would be forgotten tomorrow, sad that these weren’t her friends and, after tomorrow, never would be. Sad because tomorrow Anakin would find out what their family had come here for; and Anakin was going to be so angry that they’d spent this time together, that he’d included his siblings, and even Han, briefly, in his life, that he’d allowed them into his world, and during their time together none of them had even hinted at what they’d come here to ask of him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18
Brothers In Arms

30 ABY
Dining Room of General Wedge Antilles, Lusankya
The morning after the Solo’s and Skywalker’s arrival

Jaina felt terrible… really terrible.

She didn't know what Yorg put in those Slord Cakes but Jaina was in pain. Anakin swore that the ingredients could be found in any human pantry, and Tahiri seemed no worse for wear, but then, Tahiri had done that rejuvenation trance, and Jaina hadn’t. She was thinking that that may have been a big mistake and vowed that as soon as breakfast was over she was going to crawl off to the nearest hole she could find and fix that.

If breakfast didn’t turn into the disaster that she feared.

They’d all sat down an hour ago, the Antilles, the Celchus, the Skywalkers, Jag, the entire Solo family, minus Will; this was supposed to be an informal meeting. Luke and Mara giving Wedge a brief overview of what the Jedi Masters had planned for the ground assault; what they wanted to do while Wedge’s naval forces were ripping through Shimrra’s air defenses.

The plan wasn’t complicated; Han and Leia, flying the Falcon, would take the Jedi team planetside so they could penetrate the citadel and attack the Supreme Overlord himself while GA ground troops kept the warriors out of the citadel and tried to keep order. What they’d need from Wedge was for one of his squadrons to fly cover for the Falcon.

The Skywalkers hadn’t imagined that Wedge would have a problem with that. They were right; Wedge didn't have a problem with that.

Tycho didn’t have a problem with that either; all of his and Wedge’s squads were good, any one of them should do.

“Actually,” Luke began, a calm tone to his voice. He looked down the long table to Wedge, sitting directly opposite him; then flicked his gaze to Anakin, dead center between the two old friends.

Jaina’s brother was leaning back; elbow on the arm of his chair, two fingers pressed into his chin, two more against his cheek; he had one eyebrow cocked, studying their uncle expectantly, and Jaina suddenly realized that Anakin was just waiting for Luke to say the words, but that he already knew what those words would be. Anakin already knew that Luke was going to ask that it be his squadron that flew cover for the Jedi.

Luke met his gaze for a moment, smiled, then nodded, first to Tycho, then Wedge, and finished with; “I’d like it to be Anakin’s squadron.”

Anakin didn’t move, didn’t blink, but Jaina felt a surge of emotion flare in the Force. Almost instantly, before she could even define what that emotion was, she felt something else; from Tahiri – the equivalent of a wall surrounding her brother – blocking him off from the rest of the people in the room – protecting him from his family or his family from him, she wasn’t sure, but after a moment, the wall disappeared and Anakin was in control again, placid, or as close as he’d been before Luke had spoken. Anakin looked at Tahiri, smiled tightly, then turned to Wedge.

“I have no problem with that, General.”

It struck Jaina that Anakin hadn’t waited for a command from his superior, but rather had informed his superior that he had permission to give Anakin a command. In any case, Anakin and Tahiri both relaxed visibly and Jaina became more sure that they had known all along that Luke was going to ask them to do something and they thought that that had been it; they thought that they’d just faced and dealt with the big request that Anakin’s family had come to make.

Wedge pushed his breakfast plate away, wiped his mouth with his napkin, threw it down, then raised his caf cup as he said, “Well, Luke, I have to admit, that was easy; I expected you to ask for more.”

Jaina closed her eyes and dropped her chin slightly as Mara shifted and Luke cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the table back to himself.

“There is another issue we’d like to address… Iella.”

Jaina opened her eyes and looked up at the Intelligence Chief, watched her eyes widen in surprise that Luke would be making a request of her.

Jaina’s stomach lurched as the tension in the room grew again.

Anakin’s shoulders tensed, and Tahiri’s eyes flicked toward him. She was sitting across the table from him, not directly though. She was next to Iella, Iella was next to Jacen; Jacen was across from Anakin.

Wedge was flanked by Winter and Tycho, the three of them, and Iella, all glanced quickly at Anakin, then back down to Luke. The tension continued to rise, everyone seemed to know that something was about to be said that Anakin wasn’t going to be happy about and Jaina had a flash to the day before, to Valin’s comment about not wanting to make Anakin unhappy, and wished Luke could see that this was a really bad idea.

Iella finally smiled down to Luke and said, “What is it you’d like from Intel?”

Mara was the one who stepped in with, “We need a translator on the ground with us.”

“No.”

Mara had barely finished her sentence before Anakin cut in, but his voice didn’t carry the anger that Jaina had feared. He didn’t stand up or scream or shout or call anyone in the family names or demand to know why they would ever begin to think he’d allow his wife to go with them, which surprised Jaina.

Then Jacen opened his mouth.

“Anakin…”

And that made Anakin angry.

“You,” he started, leaning forward and pointing at their brother, “keep your mouth shut so I don’t throw into a wall.” Then, turning back to Luke; “After specifically requesting that I be in the air, you request that Tahiri be on the ground with you? I wouldn’t trust you to walk her from here to the end of the hall, there is no way in hell I’m going to trust you to keep her safe in the middle of Yuuzhan’tar.”

Mara spoke up again, clearly thinking that she could soothe her nephew. “Anakin, Tahiri is the best translator we’ve got…”

“No, she’s the best translator we’ve got,” Anakin snapped, “and I’d expect better from you, of all people.” Then, turning back to Luke, he kept going. “And you are so out of your mind that it's sort of hard to even be angry at you for asking. I’m more inclined to feel pity because this war has clearly warped any sense of decency you had left.

“You wouldn’t let me go to Yavin for her, you tried to banish her to the Maw when she was pregnant and I was gone, and now you want me to sit back and let you take her to ground zero without me? No – kriffing - way.”

“Anakin.” Tahiri’s voice was calm and steady and no one seemed more surprised than Anakin to hear her speak. “Can I have a word with you outside?” she asked as she stood up from the table.

He started to object, but closed his eyes and let out a short huff before standing up and turning from the table. He was still muttering something about ‘out of your kriffing minds’ when the door hissed shut behind them.

The room was dead silent after they left, and Jaina finally worked up the nerve to look at Wedge, then Iella and Winter and Tycho. All were glaring at various members of her family, and all the members of her family were looking at their plates, or each other, clearly trying to pretend that their long time friends weren’t appalled by the request that had just been made.

When the door opened a few minutes later, Tahiri poked her head in and said, “Agent Wesirri, General Antilles, a moment, please?”

Wedge and Iella glanced at each other, then at Winter and Tycho, and all four stood up; a silent understanding having passed between them – no discussions were going to be had without all four of them present and Jaina understood why; they’d become parents to Anakin and Tahiri as much as mentors and superior officers and agents. Whatever it was that Anakin and Tahiri had decided, whatever they were thinking of doing and wanted to run by Iella and Wedge, Winter and Tycho were going to have a say in as well.

When the door closed again Jaina looked at her father, saw the hurt in his eyes, saw how much he hated all of this, saw that he knew too that Anakin had just been pushed further away from them and that Han would never forgive Luke and Mara and her mom if they didn’t get Anakin back.

Several more minutes passed, an eternity it seemed to Jaina, before the door to the dining room hissed open once more, and the six who’d left filed back in.

They all seemed resigned, unhappy, but they were all too used to serving - to giving to the greater good - to put their personal feelings ahead of what needed to be done. Of course her parents and her aunt and uncle thought that that was what they were doing here too – putting what needed to be done ahead of their personal feelings and they couldn’t understand why Anakin was holding that against them.

As everyone resumed their seats, Anakin addressed the table.

“I go with Tahiri or she doesn’t go. Take it or leave it.”

Luke looked up, nodded his head a bit before saying to Anakin, “Do you think you will be able to control your anger towards Jacen during the mission?”

Anakin’s mouth fell open as he looked at Luke, shock radiating off of him both in the Force and to the naked eye.

“Are you kidding me? Is that why you wanted me in the air? Because you were afraid I’d get angry at Jacen and blow the mission?”

“This is important Anakin, we can’t afford to have you two at each other’s throats.”

Anakin barked out an un-amused laugh. “Can I make a suggestion then? Why don’t you glue his mouth shut so he can’t say anything stupid. That should prevent a problem before there is one.”

“Forgive me for not thinking the solution to everything is to shoot it or slice it in half.” Jacen scowled.

“There is a time and a place for everything, Jacen. If you want to preach non-aggression go find a rock somewhere and have at it, but when we’re standing in the middle of a battlefield staring down a couple hundred Yuuzhan Vong warriors the solution is to shoot it or slice it in half.”

“Boys,” Leia cut in, “There is a time and a place for everything, and this is not the time or the place.”

Anakin shook his head in disgust, “Well it’s your brother and your son who always seem to have an issue with me and how I do things, and yet everyone blames me for not wanting anything to do with you people. And this is so much fun. Too think, I could have spent the last year of my life fighting with them instead of being here, enjoying myself and shooting and slicing Vong.”

Tahiri cleared her throat gently.

Anakin shot her a look. “Time and place.” He told her.

Tahiri bit her lower lip, trying to suppress a grin, and mouthed ‘sorry’ before turning to Luke, her smile disappearing as she became all business.

“Alright Master Skywalker, what is it, precisely, that you want from me?”

Luke nodded at her, clear that he appreciated her forthrightness. “Well, from what I’ve seen of your reports, you’ve had a large number of Yuuzhan Vong surrender, to you, specifically.”
“To groups that I work with, yes.”

“And you’re fairly well known amongst the Shamed Ones and the Shaper and Priest Classes.”

“There is evidence that stories are circulating that I may be thought to be linked in some way to a couple of their goddesses, but we don’t know if that is very widely known. The stories may only be known to the Yuuzhan Vong who are making their way to us; the Yuuzhan Vong who are still on Coruscant may not have heard the stories.”

“But they may have?”

“It’s possible. As I said; we don’t know. What’s your point?”

“We’re thinking that if we make it known that you’re with us, then maybe that will galvanize the…”

His explanation was cut off by Anakin’s yelling; “You said you wanted a translator, you’re not using her as bait!”

“We want the Shamed Ones to work with us, Anakin.” Luke said.

“Find another way. You’re not holding Tahiri up in front of a mob to incite a riot against Shimrra.”

“Anakin,” this time it was Tahiri trying to calm him down. “He’s right, it could work, but it will only work if any of them recognize me. There’s every possibility that they won’t, in which case I won’t be in any more danger than I would be to begin with. And besides,” she smiled, “you’ll be there to protect me.”

Anakin glared at her, clearly furious for her siding with Luke, but she held his gaze.

Then, Jacen said possibly the most stupid thing Jaina had ever heard him say in their lives.

“You know what might be even better than taking Tahiri, is if we took Will…”

He didn’t get in farther.

Jaina barely saw the blur that was Anakin as he dove across the table, sending plates, glasses, and silverware flying and crashing, and his hands were around Jacen’s neck and the two were on the floor before anyone else had even made it out of their own chairs.

Tahiri was the first to reach Jaina’s brothers, having pushed Iella out of the way, sending her rolling backwards on the wheels of her chair. She had one arm over Anakin’s shoulder, the other around his waist, trying to pull him up, screaming his name and for him to stop.

Han had grabbed Leia and pulled her away, was holding her back from the boys, and Jaina thought vaguely that that was smart, because their mother would surely have been crushed between her sons.

Luke and Mara reached Anakin and Jacen at almost the same time, Luke ripping Tahiri away, throwing her against Tycho, who did a decent job of throwing her off to Winter and Iella, who were doing a decent job of holding her back. He then dove in to help Mara pull Anakin off Jacen, but they were having a hard time prying Anakin’s fingers off of Jacen’s throat.

Jaina watched as Jacen’s head hit the floor over and over again, watched as he wedged his hand up into Anakin’s face and tried to push his brother off of him, and it took her awhile to figure out why she couldn’t help, why she seemed to be running in place; Jag’s arms were around her and he was whispering in her ear, telling her to stop, but he wasn’t whispering, he was yelling, it just sounded like whispering because of how loud everyone else’s screams were.

Then she realized that the loudest voice was Anakin’s and he was saying the same thing over and over again to Jacen, I’m going to kriffing kill you, I’m going to kriffing kill you, and for a horrible moment Jaina thought that maybe Anakin would.

After what felt like hours, soldiers came running in, Jaina wasn’t sure how many, ten, twelve, fifteen… or how they even knew to be there, but they were there, peeling Luke and Mara away, then finally, finally they had Anakin up, a bunch of them had Anakin up, holding his arms and his legs and wrapping themselves around his body and yelling ‘Colonel Solo, stop’ but he was kicking and thrashing and trying to pull away and trying to get at Jacen again and still screaming, I’m going to kriffing kill you.

Wedge was shouting at the soldiers to get Anakin and Tahiri out of there, and Iella and Winter were right on their heels, but another group of soldiers, the ones that had hauled Jacen up from the floor and were holding their blasters in his already bloody face, were waiting for Wedge’s next set of orders and finally, a tense hush fell over the room and with the quiet, the words that had set the last few terrible moments into motion repeated themselves in Jaina’s head.

“You know what might be even better than taking Tahiri, is if we took Will…”

Wedge walked up to Jacen and gave him a look that made his disgust absolutely clear, then, without moving his gaze addressed one of the soldiers, “Tibbetts, escort the Skywalkers and the Solos to their ships. Open the hangar they’re docked in to vacuum in thirty minutes, whether they’re in their ships or not.”

Then Jaina watched Wedge Antilles and Tycho Celchu leave the room, and as they walked away another thought struck her, one that stunned her almost as much as the sight of one of her brothers trying to kill the other; at no point in the last fifteen minutes had anyone in her family used the Force.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tycho followed Wedge down the corridor and into his office, trying to remember when he’d last seen the boss this angry; tried to remember when he’d last been this angry.

He’d never been extremely fond of Jacen, not like he’d always been fond of Anakin, but this was just remarkably stupid.

Remarkably stupid.

He was relatively sure that none of the rest of the family had anything to do with Jacen’s remarkably stupid idea - they all seemed as horrified as he and Wedge and Winter and Iella, though it was hard to tell given that Anakin had flown across the table before anyone else really had a chance to process Jacen’s words.

They were in Wedge’s office, and Wedge had thrown a datapad into the wall before a minute had passed, and Tycho stood back; waited for Wedge to get it out of his system.

Wedge adored Anakin and Tahiri; simply couldn’t understand how the situation between them and Han and Leia had gotten so bad, couldn’t understand how Han had allowed the whole thing with Jacen and Leia and Tahiri to get so out of control.

Tycho knew Tahiri had her issues, the girl could be a real pain in the thrusters at times, she had a mind of her own and didn’t always take orders well, but she was a good kid, was smart, had the makings of brilliant agent as far as Winter and Iella were concerned, had never once given either one of them lip. Besides all that; she was a great mother to Will and she adored Anakin.

What parent wouldn’t want their boy married to a girl who was that devoted to their son?

Evidently Leia Organa Solo.

But all that aside, what happened this morning - even before Jacen shot his mouth off - was not on the up and up. Luke had been underhanded in how he asked for Tahiri’s help, and that didn’t fit with the Jedi Master Tycho had known for thirty years and he wondered if this war had something to do with it, or if it was more fallout from the family’s issues with Tahiri.

Wedge finally turned around, scrubbed a hand down his face.

“Lock down Lumbont’s hangar.”

“Already done,” Tycho informed him, but Wedge didn’t seem to hear, he just kept going.

“Han’s not going to go far anytime soon. He’s going to stick close and wait for the kid to cool his jets and to see if I let him back in, so we better make sure Anakin doesn’t have access to anything with a weapons system or any means of getting near the Falcon or the Shadow while he’s this angry.”

Tycho smiled wanly. “And when he’s calmed down?”

“I’ll give him the firing solutions myself, but I want him to have a clear head and total focus when he pulls the trigger: Jacen’s not on the Falcon or the Shadow, he’s in an X-Wing.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tahiri had been sitting against the wall of the hangar for nearly seven hours - waiting for Anakin.

It had taken a very long time for him to give up on flight control opening the mag con barrier, or trying to persuade Fiver to patch him into the flight control computers so he could slice open the force field himself. He’d eventually stopped threatening to shoot his way out of the hangar but hadn’t actually powered down the X-Wing for two more hours. It had taken another two after that before he’d popped the canopy.

When he’d taken his helmet off ninety minutes ago he’d chucked it through the air, sending it careening into Tahiri’s portable workstation so hard that Tahiri had heard the screen of her computer shatter and watched as flimsy and paint canisters had flown as though propelled by an explosion. Black paint had splattered everything within a five meter radius.

Anakin hadn’t actually gotten out of his ship until thirty minutes ago, and he’d been rhythmically knocking his head against his arm, which was resting against the fuselage, since then.

Tahiri had no intention of stopping him, knew that he’d come to her when he was ready; knew that he’d be incapable of talking about what had happened until he’d calmed down, and even then, she wasn’t sure Jacen’s words were anything that really required talking about; what was there to say?

They both knew that Jacen was an ignorant bastard. They both knew that it wasn’t malice that had prompted Anakin’s brother’s incredibly insensitive suggestion that they flaunt their toddler son in front of the merciless warmonger who’d been hunting him since his birth. They both knew that Jacen simply had no frame of reference for the feelings that Anakin had for Will. Jacen would be at a loss to understand why his ‘idea’ would prompt the reaction from Anakin that it had and would likely have walked away from the morning’s events thinking that Anakin’s behavior was an indicator that he was unbalanced or that Tahiri had some kind of evil control over him, or, that Jacen was still being punished for the ‘unfortunate mistake’ of leaving Anakin on the worldship.

The part that was worth talking about, that Anakin needed to get out, and that he’d need her help with, was his heartache over his belief that his family thought his wife and son were expendable, but that might need to wait. That was okay - when the time was right they’d discuss it, they’d gotten very good at discussing difficult things.

Some of the hardest discussions they’d ever had; the ones that had propelled them forever and irrevocably into adulthood, were the ones that had taken place during those dark days after Anakin had forced Tahiri to tell him all that had happened on Hapes after Jaina and Jacen had returned without him.

There had been moments during those days when she was certain Anakin would never forgive her for her part in what had happened with his family. She still wasn’t certain she’d ever really forgive herself; but, as a couple, they had worked through that time, and ultimately come out the other end stronger - each accepting that their view of the other had been significantly idealized by youth and inexperience, each having to learn to accept the other’s faults and weaknesses, each finally realizing that they’d known the other’s faults and weaknesses all along, and that accepting them wasn’t as frightening as they’d thought, as damaging as they’d feared, because when all was said and done they were still Anakin and Tahiri; they still loved each other no matter what, and they were still each other’s best friend.

Anakin finally stopped banging his head against his arm, turned, and shuffled over to Tahiri, though he didn’t bother to look up, just turned and sat next to her with his back against the wall, then leaned over and rested his head in her lap.

She cradled him, ran her fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head, and waited.

“Why?” he finally asked, heartache clear in his voice.

She kissed him again.

“I thought maybe, after last night, at least Jaina understood.”

“I think she does. I think your father does. I think your mother might, even if she doesn’t want to admit it. I think the issue is that none of them like to be wrong, and they are so far down a certain path that they don’t know how to turn around and reach out to you. And I also think that they’ve spent their entire lives living a certain way, sacrificing themselves for the sake of the galaxy, and they don’t see us behaving exactly the way they do and don’t understand us.”

“And Jacen?”

“Is an ignorant bastard. I think he doesn’t have any idea how much what he says hurts you. I think he’s at a complete loss. And I think Luke and Mara are so focused on getting out of this war and getting back to their own son that they aren’t thinking of anything but that, which I completely understand, because everything I do is filtered through how I feel about our son.”

“When did you become so understanding? Where’s my real wife?”

Tahiri chuckled. “You mean the immature hothead ready to tear into anyone at the slightest hint of injustice or misstep?”

Now it was Anakin’s turn to chuckle. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

“You got her pregnant, you big... dumb... gundark.”

Anakin’s arm shot up and he flexed his bicep and stated in a faux deep voice, “No birth control can stop my Super Solo Sperm.”

“You better pray you’re wrong Hero-boy, or I’m cutting you off.”

“You say that now…” he rolled over in her arms and began to nuzzle her chest and neck, telling her, in between nips, “but you won’t be saying that later.”

“Wow, those statistics everyone talks about really are true.”

Anakin looked up at her innocently, “What statistics?”

She grinned. “The ones that claim that men spend ninety-five percent of every waking hour thinking about sex, regardless of what’s happening around them.”

“Only ninety-five?” he asked, as he wagged his eyebrows.

“Big… dumb… gundark…” she mouthed, though she couldn’t help but smile as she did.

“Yeah, but I’m your big… dumb… gundark…”

Tahiri leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against his lips, then another on his forehead before sitting back up and brushing his hair some more.

“You know what we have to do?” she asked quietly.

Anakin closed his eyes for a long moment, then nodded his head. “I was beginning to believe that we were going to make it through this without having to.”

“I know. Me too. But we can trust them.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust them, I just didn’t want to have to burden them with it.”

“I know, but I can’t see that we have a choice. We need them if we’re going to do this and the Holds would do anything for us and Will.”

“Kriff. How’s Will? I feel terrible, he must have felt all of that.”

“He’s okay. Paloma said he freaked, but she commed Valin right away and he used the Force to put him to sleep, and then brought him back up after you and I cooled off some. It was only a little worse than when he felt you react to me going EV.”

“Great, that makes me feel tons better.”

“We’re human Anakin, we’re going to make mistakes. And considering that we’re Force freaks - to have only felt three outbursts like this from his highly emotional parents in almost two years, I’d say we’re doing pretty good, especially given that he was born in the middle of a war.”

“So you don’t think we’re doing him any lasting damage?”

“I’m sure the MD droid will tell us if we are.”

“You’re cute.”

“I know.”

Anakin sighed again, before asking, and Tahiri could tell he really didn’t want to ask, “Where’d the family go?”

“Bram said he heard that Wedge threatened to vac them if they weren’t off his ship ten minutes after you and I were hauled out of the dining room. Stoker said he heard twenty minutes. Junip said he heard they’re hanging out in a system nearby, waiting to see if Wedge lets them back in.”

Anakin snorted, “And Hodge is probably running the bets on all of it and on whether or not I shoot Jacen on sight when we sit down for the next planning session.”

“And on whether there is a next planning session.”

“Like we could avoid it.” Anakin rubbed a hand through his hair, then switched gears. “Thanks for locking the hangar down, I don’t want to think about what I would have done if I had gotten out of here as soon as I got the greens.”

“Don’t thank me, it didn’t occur to me to ground you until I found out it was locked and then realized it was a good idea.”

“Tycho?”

“Or Wedge. By the time I shook Iella and Winter and doubled back around to find you the hangar was already closed.”

“Hodge was probably running that bet before you lost your tail.”

“I would think. I’m sure half the ship knew what was going on and was placing wagers on who you’d shoot first before you were in the lift. Must have really disappointed a lot of people when the lock down order came in.”

“You’d think we were living with a bunch of Hutts with the way these guys gamble.”

“And all their bets seem to revolve around us.”

“If we ever lose our jobs we can set up shop in the Outer Rim, racing and betting.”

“Would I get to fly or collect?”

“Whatever makes you happy, Grandpa.”

“I’ll tell you what… as much as I’d love to spend another seven hours on this duracrete floor with your head in my lap, my butt’s numb, so why don’t you get off me and go find our son? I’ll round up the Holds and meet you in Wedge and Iella’s quarters, and we’ll tell them and nice long story about Older Tahiri and Flow Walking and what we want to do, and when we’re done scraping their jaws up off the floor, I’ll wear black for you.”

“And I don’t have to call you Grandpa again?”

Tahiri leaned down and smiled against Anakin’s lips. “Nope, tonight’s a freebie.”

Anakin reached up and cupped the side of her head, wound his fingers into her hair to hold her close and whispered, “Forty-two, my love.”

“Mmmmm… forty-two.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 19
There’s No Other Way

30 ABY
Antilles Personal Quarters
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya, Stassia System
Ten hours after ‘the Big Breakfast’

Anakin sat on the floor, leaning against the floor to ceiling viewport in Wedge and Iella’s personal quarters; behind him was a vast starscape. Several meters in front of him was an even more beautiful sight; Will, sprawled out and asleep on Tahiri’s chest.

She was leaning back against the couch; Will’s head nestled into her neck, the fingers of one of his little hands fisted in her hair as he slurped gently on the thumb of his other hand.

Anakin was jealous; he wished he was asleep on Tahiri’s chest.

She had been wrong about needing to scrape the Holds’ jaws up off the floor; if their mouths had been open they wouldn’t have been able to hold in all the whiskey they’d been consuming.

Wedge and Tycho were on their fourth glasses, Winter and Iella on their third. Even Anakin was drinking a lot, more than he usually did. He wasn’t one to normally feel the need for a drink in times of stress, but he had to admit, after today, the liquid was soothing him, taking the edge off of his frayed nerves. He supposed that a little meditating would have done the same thing, but he couldn’t very well dump the information he just had on these four people and then excuse himself to go float in the Force. He needed to stay and answer their questions, of which they had many, and explain the plan, the ideas that he and Tahiri had, and what they needed the four to do for them, with them, so that they could finally end this war.

“Why,” Winter asked, “are you only telling us this now?”

Anakin took a healthy drink from his glass, let the liquid sting his throat as the ice numbed his tongue, then crunched on the cubes in his mouth and swallowed them.

“We were hoping that we wouldn’t have to tell you at all,” he admitted quietly as he stared into his glass at the amber fluid.

“Because you don’t trust us?”

Iella, sitting next to Tahiri on the couch, sounded hurt and Tahiri answered quickly.

“Of course not. We didn’t want to burden you. We wish we didn’t know about this, we didn’t ask to know about this and we’ve tried to be mature and wise about what we’ve used and how we’ve treated our knowledge. But now that you know, tell me you aren’t wracking your brain trying to figure out how to use this to go back in time to save the galaxy?”

Anakin watched his wife and her mentor stare at each other; then Tahiri went on.

“Isn’t it hard to not imagine that you know how to make things better; hard to think that with the benefit of hindsight you wouldn’t make better choices than others made before you? But the truth is it’s not our place or our right. If Anakin or I were to use the Flow to go back and change things; who’s to say we wouldn’t be causing more damage?”

“Explain that.” Wedge ordered gently, sitting forward in his chair, elbows on his knees.

“What she means,” Anakin said, “is that, say we went back and somehow were able to prevent the invasion, say that prevents Mara from being infected with the comb spores that nearly killed her, say because of that Ben Skywalker wasn’t conceived and because of that thirty years from now he’s not around to lead the Jedi against a different threat, a threat worse than the Yuuzhan Vong.”

Tycho snorted. “Could there be a threat worse than the Yuuzhan Vong?”

“That’s the point.” Tahiri took over again. “We don’t know. And we aren’t arrogant enough to think we do, and we don’t feel we have the right to make those choices.”

“For purely selfish reasons, Tahiri and I are glad that Older Tahiri did what she did, because if she hadn’t done it, I probably would have died on the worldship instead of just losing a year. Tahiri would probably have lost Will, and she would have suffered like Older Tahiri did. But Older Tahiri still didn’t have the right. Who knows what could have been, what she deprived her universe of - or ours - by coming to us.”

“And why tell us?” Iella asked. “Why not tell Luke?”

Anakin snorted and Tahiri gave him a reproachful look. He cocked an eyebrow at her then turned to Iella. “Luke is the last person I’d tell. The unfortunate lesson he came away from the second Death Star with is that anyone can be redeemed, and he’s way too liberal in his sharing of information. I wouldn’t be able to count on him to keep the knowledge of Flow Walking from the rest of the Order and frankly, there isn’t a Jedi among them that I’d trust with it, least of all my brother. They can never know about this.”

Wedge sighed deeply before nodding his head. “Given Jacen’s obscenely stupid suggestion today, I’m inclined to agree with you. He’s far too impressed with his own ideas to trust with something like this, especially if… his other self... is that how you’d put it?”

Anakin smiled, “That’s close enough.”

“I’m starting to understand how you came up with ‘Older Tahiri’ and ‘Younger Tahiri’.” Wedge smiled back.

“You should have seen them in the same room. Or when they’d start scolding me in stereo.”

“We didn’t scold you that much.” Tahiri defended.

Anakin stood up, walked over to her, and kissed her on the head. “What was that for?” She asked as the Holds chuckled and Anakin nudged her over enough to make room for himself on the couch and sat down beside her, then pulled her against his side, wrapping his arms around her and Will.

“Because you’re so darn cute. And you two lectured me like crazy.”

“We were trying to keep you alive, dummy.”

Wedge scrubbed a hand over his face. He looked more tired than Anakin had ever seen him, and he felt bad for what they were putting him through, what they were putting them all through, and what they were going to ask of them, but if it worked, maybe they would all be able to rest.

Tycho brought Anakin’s focus back by asking, “So, this other Jacen, he became a Sith?”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. “He was captured during the voxyn mission, the same mission the other Anakin died on. He was held captive and tortured for several months by Vergere, the Fosh I killed this time.

“After the war, in their time, Jacen travelled for five years, spent time with different Force using groups, that’s when he learned to Flow Walk.

“In around 40 ABY the Corellians tried to secede from the GA, the Second Galactic Civil War started. Jacen was assigned to head a military group. Ironically, he was asked to take the job because Mara turned the job down. He was already a little off his perch at that point according to Older Tahiri, and things went downhill pretty fast. Jacen somehow usurped power with a Mon Cal named Niathal - she’s captain of the Ark right now - they became joint Chiefs of State. Jacen was Ben’s master at the time, Luke and Mara didn’t see, or didn’t want to believe, what Jacen was becoming. When Mara did finally realize what was going on, realized that Ben was being tutored to be a Sith, she confronted Jacen and he killed her. Jaina ended up killing Jacen in the end.”

Wedge looked horrified, as did the others, but he was the one that asked the question Anakin knew the others wanted the answer to but couldn’t bring themselves to ask.

“How did Older Tahiri figure into all of that?”

Anakin felt Tahiri’s shoulders shaking, knew that she was crying, leaned down and kissed her head again, then continued.

“Ben figured out who murdered his mother and left Jacen; Jacen needed a new apprentice.

“Older Tahiri and her Anakin had the same history Tahiri and I have; he went to Yavin for her, rescued her from the Shapers, they got married…”

“Forty-two?” Winter asked, a gentle smile on her face.

Anakin smiled back and nodded, “Forty-two. Older Tahiri didn’t realize she was pregnant until after they’d left on the voxyn mission, never told her Anakin, then watched him die, and for the rest of her life felt guilty because she refused to kiss him good-bye when she knew he was dying. Several weeks after Anakin died she miscarried. No one ever knew about their baby until she told Tahiri.

“Not long after all of this she had a nervous breakdown, the Yuuzhan Vong personality that the Shapers had implanted resurfaced and she eventually had to let it merge with her own. She was never the same. Jacen knew all of that, except about the baby, and he used it.

“Jacen not only saw potential in Tahiri as a Sith apprentice, he also needed a spy who could give him information on the Jedi, who had joined in with the Corellians by that point. He justified his actions, his side of the war, by telling her that he was trying to restore peace to the galaxy Anakin had sacrificed his life to save; sacrificed his and Tahiri’s life together to save.

“Then he took Tahiri Flow Walking…”

“Oh no…” Tycho breathed out.

“He had her addicted to walking back to see her Anakin within a few days; she would do anything he asked in exchange for those trips. She gave him information on the Jedi until she tried to arrest Han and Leia on Hapes and Tenel Ka shipped her back to Jacen, she killed Gilad Pellaeon for him, tortured Ben Skywalker for him, then served two years in prison after the war. Solitary confinement, surrounded by ysalamari.”

“What a bastard.” Wedge snarled.

Tahiri sniffed. “She was very clear that it was her own fault. She didn’t blame Jacen. She knew that she made her own choices.”

“What happened to her? After she was with you?” Iella asked.

Tahiri sniffed again. “We’re not sure. Her plan was to kill herself after she was done telling us everything she wanted to share. But really, we're not sure if that was even necessary. After all we did, we don’t know if she actually existed at Eclipse once we made the changes… if that makes sense.”

“Not really…” Tycho sighed, “and not for the first time… I’m glad I’m not a Jedi.”

Anakin smiled wanly, and leaned his cheek into Tahiri’s hair, rubbed a hand over Will’s back, and once again, silently thanked Older Tahiri for all she’d done. Even though he’d vowed that he’d never make the decision that she had made, even though he knew in his heart that she’d had no right to make the choices she’d made, every time he looked at his wife or his son, he was glad that she had.

The soft popping of the whiskey bottle opening caught Anakin’s attention and he looked up to see Wedge standing over him, refilling his glass, then making his way around the room, refilling all the others. He’d even filled one for Tahiri, who was, uncharacteristically, sipping at it immediately.

When he was seated again, Wedge looked to Anakin and said, “Alright, enough with the history and metaphysics; there’s a reason why you’ve decided to break your two and a half year silence – why are you telling us this now?”

Anakin stood back up, paced back over to the window, took a large swig from his glass, whistled through the sting in his mouth, then turned back to the room.

“We want to use some of the other things Older Tahiri told us.”

The Holds all looked at each other in confusion, then to Tahiri, then finally back to Anakin.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to Flow Walk.” Iella said and Anakin felt a pang at the disappointment in her voice.

“Don’t worry, we’re not. There’s other information that she gave us. About the Yuuzhan Vong and this war.”

“And you haven’t told us this yet?” Tycho boomed, and then immediately looked chagrined when Iella and Winter shushed him and pointed to Will. “Sorry.” More quietly, but with the same inflection he repeated, “And you haven’t told us this yet?”

“It’s not anything we could have used before now, and again, we didn’t know if we should use it because we were trying to let the Force guide us, not go against its will. And we’re still not sure if what we’re doing is the right thing.” Anakin looked at Tahiri, who nodded encouragingly. “Shimrra isn’t really in control of the Yuuzhan Vong.”

“What?” Now it was Wedge’s turn to boom, but he ignored Iella and Winter and their scolding and stood up to meet Anakin in the center of the room. “Who’s in charge then? How come no one else knows this?”

“Shimrra doesn’t even know this from what Older Tahiri said. He has a court jester of sorts, a Shamed One, Omini; severely deformed, insignificant as far as any of the other intendants or attendants are concerned. And Omini is Force sensitive.”

“But the Yuuzhan Vong don’t have the Force.” Now it was Iella who was booming. “You’ve said all along they don’t have the Force.”

“According to Older Tahiri, Zonama Sekot was the Yuuzhan Vong’s home world, or an ancient world, I’m not totally clear, because, frankly, she loaded us down with a lot of information. But according to Sekot, the Yuuzhan Vong were stripped of the Force, it’s not that they don’t exist in the Force the way we thought, it’s that they’ve been deprived of it in some way. But Omini found a way to touch the Force. And he’s insane. He also knows that there was no way that he could ever rule himself because his body is so horribly misshapen by the implants gone wrong and the disfigurement; but he controls Shimrra; using the Force to do it.

“It was Vergere who told Jacen about Zonama Sekot last time. When I killed Vergere we thought that was the end of Zonama Sekot, but then Jacen apparently had a vision or something and guided Luke to it and they brought Zonama Sekot back here. We took that as a sign that maybe we should get involved, use more of what Older Tahiri told us, but we weren’t sure how. We figured the Force would tell us.”

Wedge sat back and whistled softly.

Tycho raised his eyebrows and looked at Wedge.

Iella and Winter looked at each other, then all four looked back at Anakin.

“Alright, kid,” Wedge said, shaking his head, “hit us again.”

But Iella suddenly turned to Tahiri, and Anakin felt a spike of fear from his wife because Iella was looking at her in a way she never had before, with suspicion.

“Tahiri, the translations you’ve done…”

“I was hoping that something would come up, that someone would say something about Omini that we could use so we wouldn’t have to tell you about Older Tahiri, that the Force would give us another sign, but nothing has ever been said.”

“And you’ve translated every word faithfully? You haven’t gotten creative?”

Tahiri grabbed her hand, “No, no, I may have used a different word here or there, if there wasn’t a direct correlation, but I’ve never altered the content. I’d never do that to you.”

Anakin saw Iella squeeze Tahiri’s hand, felt Tahiri relax, knew how heartbroken she would be if Iella where to ever suspect her of being less than totally scrupulous in her work, and was so incredibly grateful that Iella’s faith in Tahiri remained clear for his wife to see and feel.

“And when you agreed to go with Luke this morning…” Iella asked, but Tahiri finished for her.

“We’ve all known for weeks that the big push was coming. We assumed that Luke would ask Anakin to do something, and we decided that whatever it was, that would be our sign, but still, Anakin was conflicted about it, about leaving it to chance that Luke and the other Jedi would kill Omini themselves if they didn’t ask Anakin to go with them. When Luke asked him to fly cover, we figured that was the choice that the Force had made for him. We never imagined they’d ask me to go, though when we went outside to discuss it, we agreed that it made sense. Older Tahiri was part of the ground assault last time; we didn’t know why we hadn’t thought of it ourselves. I guess we were so focused on Anakin’s part in the grand scheme of things that we never thought about mine.”

“So, are you still going to go, even after what happened with Jacen this morning?” Winter asked.

Anakin closed his eyes; smiled – wondered how it was possible that someone that misguided could be his brother. When he opened his eyes again, five faces were watching him expectantly.

He laughed. “You guys look like you’re waiting for my head to explode.”

“Never let it be said that you miss subtlety.” Tycho murmured.

Anakin chugged back the last of his drink and walked over to the low table in front of the three chairs and the couch everyone was seated on, placing his glass gently on the surface.

“I think I worked through it… my little tantrum.” Then gave Wedge a lopsided grin, “Did you really threaten to vac the family?”

Wedge ignored his question. “Don’t fall all over yourself thanking me for the fact that you’re not spending another night in the brig.”

Anakin winced. “Thank you, General.”

Tahiri winced too. “Yeah, thank you, General.”

“And there are four reasons you escaped that punishment; One - Jacen’s not some hapless idiot who made the unfortunate mistake of hitting on your wife on his first night here; two - you didn’t blast a hole in my ship trying to get out of here so you could blast your brother; three - with what’s going on, I can’t afford to take you off the line right now; and four - despite your rather spectacular loss of control this morning, Dr. Abay has assured me that you’ve made huge strides in keeping your temper in check under other circumstances.”

“I have made huge strides. And that was once. I refrained from dismantling the next hapless idiot who hit on her; I held back and let her handle the second guy.”

“Yeah, and then I spent the night in the brig.” Tahiri laughed.

Tycho raised an eyebrow at her. “It would probably have only been an hour or two if you hadn’t knocked him unconscious. And then kicked him. Or if the whole thing hadn’t started a brawl. I still haven’t forgiven you for the fact that I had to transfer that entire squadron over to the Second Fleet.”

“I told him four times to keep his hands off my ass,” she defended, “I don’t care what the greeting customs are on whatever backwater planet he came from. He’s lucky I didn’t have my lightsaber on me. And I didn’t realize he was unconscious until after I’d kicked him.”

“Regardless, the ‘No Ale’ policy is still in effect for you,” Tycho instructed. “You’re not as dangerous on Slord Cakes.”

Wedge shook his head. “Why do you two always make me feel like I’m dealing with the worst of the Rogues and the Wraiths combined when we’re supposed to be having a serious conversation? Now, lets see if we can stay on topic for a full five minutes here; are you two going to Coruscant with the Jedi or not?”

“No,” Anakin answered, serious again. “We have our own plan, and this is why we need your help. The top of the citadel that houses Shimrra’s throne room is a ship, an escape vessel. Last time Luke, Jaina and Jacen went into the throne room, fought through Shimrra’s guards and killed him. Luke was hit with Shimrra’s amphistaff and went down. Omini used some kind of paralytic on Jaina, and took her up into the ship. Jacen followed him, realized that Omini was using the Force, and they had some kind of Force energy battle, Omini lost, was turned into a puddle of Force goo, and Jacen was the big hero of the war.”

“You’re kidding?” Tycho asked, disgusted. “That little Hutt was the big hero?”

Anakin smiled. “Well, I wasn’t around to do the job myself.”

“Oh, brother.” Tahiri moaned.

“Anyway, what my adoring wife and I are thinking is; we get Kell Tainer, and a few other Wraiths, form a strike team and infiltrate a few days before the offensive is to start. We land far enough away from the capital to not draw attention to ourselves, Face has done it a number of times so it shouldn’t be a problem, then - we hike in the rest of the way. We scale the Citadel, help Kell wire the ship, and we blow it as the air assault is starting. That way, regardless of what happens inside, we’ve at least got Omini trapped.

“The Jedi can land as they planned, Luke can take the twins inside and do whatever they want, try to take out Shimrra and his guards, and Omini, if they’re lucky, and Tahiri and I will already be there to go in after the Jedi, and help slice and dice whoever is left.

“You guys,” Anakin nodded to Tycho and Wedge, “will be taking out Shimrra’s air defenses; according to Older Tahiri, that wasn’t a huge problem, and she also said that the Shamed Ones revolted last time, at the end they helped the GA ground forces.”

“Which is why you two weren’t totally against the idea of Tahiri going this time?” Wedge asked.

“Oh, I’m against the idea of my wife being used as bait, but maybe this way we can avoid that, and I’ll be with her, anything coming at her has to get through me.”

Tahiri took Iella’s hand again. “We’d like some of the Shamed Ones and Warriors who have surrendered; volunteers only, to land with the Jedi. The more Yuuzhan Vong we have to spread the word, tell the others what we’re there for, that we want to help them and that we’ll take them to Zonama Sekot, the better our chances are of getting the ones still there to help. I’d also like a few Shapers to go, in case anyone gets hurt, envenomated, they could come in handy. There will also likely be Vongformed creatures and plant life around the citadel the Shapers could help them get around.”

“They’re pretty loyal to you, some may want to go early to help on the trek.” Winter said.

Tahiri seemed to mull this over. “I’m not sure any of them would be up for that, but I’ll think about it and we’ll see.”

“And what do we say when Luke wants to know why we haven’t mentioned any of this to him already? Or when he wants to know who our sources are?” Winter asked.

“Actually,” Anakin said, “I think my dear brother may have provided us with a way around that; after this morning it won’t be hard for any of us to appear righteously indignant if Luke asks anything. But aside from that, we can say that the information just came to us through Tahiri’s sources, or that we hadn’t had it confirmed yet when they were here, that we were working on it, but didn’t want to share until we were sure. We can also tell them to go kriff themselves and…”

“Anakin…” Tahiri gave him a look.

“What?” he asked, trying to sound innocent.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“The point being,” Anakin continued, “they aren’t in any position to ask for any proof, or to question our sources, or to ask for anything. Iella, you’re one of the top Intel agents in the galaxy, you’re sitting on a ship full of nearly two thousand Yuuzhan Vong refugees who have surrendered, to your protégé, specifically. Communication lines are down all over, it's not beyond the realm of possibility that you’d come by this information honestly the way we’re going to claim.”

Wedge looked at his wife. “He’s right, you know. Given the circumstances, I doubt anyone will question us in the next few days, and by the time anyone would think to, this could all be over, and no one will care.”

“I think,” Winter weighed in, “that the less information we parcel out, and the fewer people involved, the better off we’ll be in the long run. That way there will be less to question.”

“I agree.” Iella confirmed. “We’d best pick a Shaper or Priest, or maybe even a Shamed One we can trust, write a script, record it, have Tahiri do the translation, then base the plan on that. It will be sketchy, we’ll be appearing to base an important operation on very little, but I can’t see that we have much choice. Not if we can’t tell anyone else how we came by the information to begin with.” Iella took a deep breath, “Give me a list tomorrow morning, everything you need, we’ll go over to the refugee craft after lunch and you can ask for your volunteers. Tycho, we’ll have to sit down and figure out how to get them to Coruscant. Winter, we’re going to have to get a hold of Face and run this by him. I’m going to assume you know where he is.”

Winter smiled, but didn’t say anything.

“Should I be concerned that my wife knows how to find Face Loran and you don’t?” Tycho asked Iella.

“No more concerned than you or I should ever be about the things that our wives know and you and I don’t.” Wedge groused.

“Is this what I have to look forward to for the next sixty years? My wife having secrets from me?” Anakin asked the two older men.

“You guys are probably still in that young love, honeymoon phase of telling each other everything even when you’re not supposed to… you have no idea what we go through.” Tycho sighed.

“I just had a thought.” Wedge sighed. “What if Luke wants to go with you guys?”

Anakin scratched his head. “That is the last thing I want, but honestly, I’d be surprised if he doesn’t suggest it. I guess I’ll see how I’m feeling when or if it comes up.”

Iella grew serious again. “I’m fully in support of us doing this, but I have to ask: even though you aren’t Flow Walking, isn’t using this information, taking matters into your own hands and making this choice yourselves, still going against what you had decided? You’re not exactly leaving things up to the Force?”

Anakin looked at his sleeping son for a long moment before turning his eyes back to Iella and answering.

“No, we’re not, and we’re not sure if we’re making the right choice, but it’s the only choice we can live with.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 20, Part 1
Some Days Are Better Than Others

30 ABY
Lumbont Squadron Hangar, High Security
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya, Metellos System
5 Days After ‘The Big Breakfast’

Leia took in the sight before her in awe.

This far corner at the back of Anakin’s hangar had been converted into a child’s dream world. There was a sand pit, grassy area, climbing structure, swing set and slide - built by Anakin and his friends - for Will to play on. According to Jaina, who’d told Leia about the playground, the project had taken months to complete, not just because of the amount of time required to design and assemble everything, but because of the time it had taken Anakin to track down all of the materials.

Apparently the commandos had friends in procurement, and Wedge seemed to turn a blind eye to anything Anakin did; using military funds and resources to build a park on a Super Star Destroyer was not unacceptable if it was for Wedge’s hold son. Though, as far as Leia could tell, there wasn’t anything that Anakin did that was unacceptable in Wedge’s eye.

Of course if Leia were honest, she’d felt the same way for most of Anakin’s life.

Taking a deep breath, Leia approached the playground tentatively, not knowing what to expect, not knowing why Tahiri had asked to meet her here.

She’d been surprised when Paloma had pulled her aside after the morning meeting, trying to be inconspicuous Leia had later realized, and told her that Tahiri wished to see her. Leia had also later realized that Anakin hadn’t seen Paloma approach her and must not realize what Tahiri was up to.

That could mean one of two things: either Tahiri was up to no good, which Leia wouldn’t put past her, or Tahiri was going to attempt an apology, which would be interesting, to say the least.

She was going to try to give the younger woman the benefit of the doubt. Jaina and Han had had nothing but glowing things to say about her in the last several days; had been nothing but generous in their descriptions of Tahiri as a wife and mother and in their recounts of her treatment of them. She appeared to want to set things right with Anakin’s family. Leia felt it was about time, but wondered if that were even possible after all that had happened and wondered if Tahiri could even begin to appreciate the damage that she had caused.

She supposed she was about to find out.

“Hello, Tahiri.”

Tahiri and Will both looked up from what looked to be machine parts they were bent over, and Tahiri offered her a small smile. Will’s was decidedly larger.

“Gan-ma. Hi.”

Leia was surprised by the child’s enthusiasm. She’d barely spent any time with him since she’d been on ship, had, in fact been startled that he’d even known who she was when Wedge had allowed her and the rest of the family back aboard. She had been further surprised when Iella informed her that Will recognized her from holos Tahiri had kept in Will’s nursery since he’d been born.

“Hello, Will.” Figuring it would be easier to talk to the boy, she continued to focus on him as she sat down on the faux grass. “What are you doing?”

“Fissin id.” Will informed, gesturing to what might have once been a toy X-Wing.

“Fix - ing it.” Tahiri corrected gently, then, turning to Leia, “We’re working on our consonants. And our mechanical engineering. Both are a little rough right now.”

Leia smiled wistfully. “I think Anakin was a lot older than two before he got a handle on his consonants.”

“I’m not sure he had a handle on them at eleven.” Tahiri chuckled. “Hard to practice when you don’t talk.”

Leia chuckled with her. “True. Of course having the twins, and then you, to do all his talking for him made it easy.”

“Well, he’s making up for it now. It’s getting hard to shut him up.”

“So I’ve noticed. Would be difficult to run a squad if he was as quiet as he used to be though.”

“Yeah.”

They both fell silent, and Leia marveled at her grandson’s clearly inherited ability to work a miniature hydrospanner, then was casting about for something to say when Will spoke up again.

“Coow-kie por Wiwl?”

Tahiri was reaching into the bag sitting next to her when Leia said, “He sure eats a lot of those.” Then instantly regretted the comment.

Tahiri sighed, handed Will the treat, then handed Leia the package and allowed her time to read the label – MEDICAL WAFER - before explaining.

“Anakin’s system still hasn’t recovered fully from what the olbio leaves did. He doesn’t absorb nutrients the way he should. Four of these have a quarter of the vitamins and minerals he should get in a day, and they’re easily digestible and fairly high in calories, which Anakin needs to keep weight on.

“When he first moved back in, after we’d broken up, he was eating them all day, couldn’t really eat much else. Will was teething at the time and they’d eat them together; sort of a father-son bonding thing. Anakin would lay on the couch with Will sitting on his stomach facing him and they’d feed them to each other. For some reason they don’t have all the same effects on Will that they do on Anakin, but it’s the closest thing Will’s ever had to a real cookie, and he doesn’t know the difference; I’m trying to keep it that way.”

Leia felt a little bad for being judgmental, but was more concerned about Anakin’s health. “Is he going to get better? Will his system recover?”

Tahiri sighed. “We don’t know. He’s come so far, and he doesn’t throw anything up anymore. The other major reason he still needs these is that they help regulate his blood sugar. He’s also on dialysis once every two weeks, because his kidneys haven’t completely healed. That’s where he is now actually.”

“Would cloned organs help?”

“They would in the short term, but cloned organs degenerate quickly and he’d end being in the same place a few years from now, and a few years after that, repeating the process indefinitely, and the recovery from the transplants is hard on the body, so we’re putting it off, waiting to see if his organs recover. Healing trances have helped, but he wishes they’d do more, and faster.”

“I had no idea.”

“He’s embarrassed, hates that his body is weak; likes to pretend that he’s perfectly fine. And for the most part he is, it doesn’t really interfere with his day-to-day life that much anymore. Half the time I have to catch him and pin him down to test his blood, it’s sort of become a game. Only a few people besides the medics really know the extent; the Holds, Paloma, the commandos, Valin.”

“He never was one to like anyone seeing him vulnerable.”

“No. But the whole squad’s on to him; they figured out fairly quickly that there was something going on and that it had to do with Myrkr, but none of them have ever said anything. They tease him about his ‘sweet tooth’ and then they all carry these cookies with them, always have them handy. If Anakin ever starts to look a little pale, or gets cranky, which is a sure sign that his blood sugar has plummeted, they pull out cookies. They claim that they have them for Will, or that they can’t get enough of the things themselves. But, they’re really for Anakin. I guess you could say we’re the most well nourished squad in the Fleet. And he lets the med droid test his blood in front of the squad now. No one says anything about that either.”

Leia smiled at that, and was glad to hear that Anakin was so highly regarded. “They seem like a good group,” she commented, referring to the Lumbont pilots.

“They are. And they all think the world of Anakin. Every one of them would do anything for him; and Will and me as well. We’re really fortunate.”

They were both quiet again, focused on Will, only talking to him as Tahiri handed him tools and laughed when he made noises that reminded Leia of Han’s less than appropriate comments while working on the Falcon; evidence that Will had spent time with Anakin while he was working on ships or droids of his own.

Finally - when Leia couldn’t stand it anymore - she said, “So, you asked to see me?”

Tahiri hesitated slightly, looked at her hands, then finally looked Leia in the eye and said, “Yes; I did. I wanted to talk about what happened on Hapes.

“There probably isn’t anything I can ever say that will really convey how sorry I am, or how ashamed I am for the way I acted, and I didn’t ask you here to make excuses for myself or justify my behavior. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, and now that I’m a mother, now that I have my own son, I’ve tried to imagine what it would be like if Will’s wife said the things to me that I said to you, and frankly - I can’t.

“I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive me, but I do know that our not being able to be in the same room hurts Anakin deeply. Your son and your grandson are my life. I don’t want to see my husband suffer anymore. And I never had a family, I hate that I’m the reason my baby doesn’t know his; so I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this better.

“I also want you to know that I’m not apologizing for Anakin, he hasn’t asked me to do this, he doesn’t even know that I am doing this, his feelings and my feelings are two separate issues; I am doing it because I love him, but also because I’m deeply sorry. So if there is a way that we can fix this,” a tear slid down Tahiri’s face and she looked back at her hands for a second before once again meeting Leia’s gaze and whispering, “I’d really like to try.”

Leia stared at Tahiri for a long moment, not sure what to say, surprised by the maturity she was seeing in the girl - no, woman - and humbled by the fact that she was the one taking the first steps in reaching out.

Suddenly, Leia saw her not as the shrieking, inconsolable harpy hurling insults at her and Jacen, but as the tiny imp holding her little boy’s hand at the academy, as the broken girl Anakin had carried aboard the Errant Venture after rescuing her from the Shapers on Yavin Four, as the teenager always at her son’s side on Eclipse, then as the pregnant, grieving girlfriend - no, widow - on Hapes, and tried to imagine how terrified and lonely Tahiri must have felt, and found that she couldn’t.

Even in her darkest hour, even after the destruction of Alderaan, Leia had never been alone.

Finally she said, “you’re right, we should try, and not just for Anakin’s sake, but for our own. It’s not healthy for either one of us to carry this anger. Thank you for this. And I’m sorry too. I’m ashamed of the way I behaved as well. I was the adult; you needed us, you had no one to turn to and we should have protected you like Anakin asked us to, and instead I blamed you and I’m so sorry for that Tahiri, I’m so sorry.” Leia barely got the last words out before she was crying too.

Then, Leia did something she never would have imagined herself doing an hour ago, she slid across the grass to Tahiri, and wrapped her arms around the younger woman’s neck. Much to her surprise, Tahiri instantly threw her own arms around Leia in a tight embrace as she began to cry in earnest.

“You’re a wonderful woman Tahiri, my son is a very fortunate man, and I’m sorry I allowed my grief and anger to cloud my judgment of you.”

“That’s okay,” Tahiri choked out, “I allowed a lot of things to cloud my judgment of you too.”

“Let’s make a pact not to let it happen again.”

Tahiri snorted a laugh. “Let’s try not to misplace Anakin again while we’re at it; should make things easier.”

A deep voice startled them both and Leia loosed her grip on Tahiri.

“Do I really need to ask you not to strangle my wife?”

Both women looked up to see Anakin approaching and Leia felt lighter than she’d felt in years when she saw the smile on her son’s face as he sat down across from them and reached out to pull his little boy into his lap.

“Hi Dada.”

“Hey, Will of the Force. What are Grandma and Mama doing to each other?” he asked, his focus was right back on Leia and Tahiri as soon as he had Will in his arms.

“Mama happy.” Will reported.

Anakin kissed his cheek and then turned and smiled at Leia. “I can feel that. It looks like Grandma is happy too.”

“I am. Hello Anakin.”

“Hi Mom. So, you’re not strangling my wife?” Despite his smile, he seemed to need verification.

“No, I was thanking her for being a better woman than I am.”

“Ah, what’d she do now? Bring about galactic peace?”

“Basically. We were just getting a few things straight.”

“Reaching an understanding.” Tahiri added.

And for the first time in a long time Leia felt something like hope.

When Anakin’s smile broadened and he reached out to her, that feeling grew. When Leia moved over to sit beside him and felt him wrap an arm around her and squeezed her in a tight hug and whisper, “I’ve missed you, Mom,” and then kiss her head, she thought her heart would burst.

She had her son back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

3 days later
Intel meeting room aboard the Lusankya

Leia sat in the large meeting room aboard the Lusankya watching her son and daughter-in-law in wonder. They were really, really beginning to impress her.

No, she realized, they did impress her.

They reminded her of herself and the other young people who had spearheaded the rebellion against the Empire all those years ago.

They were talented, brave, ambitious and full of the kind of drive and ideas that the older and more seasoned warriors present were too old and tired to execute themselves.

Or too smart.

Tahiri was in control - leading the meeting; briefing the Wraiths, who had only just arrived from who knew where; briefing the Yuuzhan Vong, who had just been transferred from the refugee vessel in Wedge’s fleet; briefing the various squadron leaders chosen to participate in the attacks being plotted out.

Tahiri was in her element. She’d been trained by the best.

Iella and Winter stood by and watched, their pride evident, their confidence in Tahiri clear for all to see. They had the utmost faith in the plan she and Anakin had drawn up and that faith bolstered everyone else’s willingness to go along.

Which was a good thing because this plan was crazy.

Leia wasn’t happy with Anakin and Tahiri’s desire for their early insertion. She didn’t like that they refused to wait until the aerial assault was being launched to start their attack, as Luke at originally requested. However, if their sources were correct, if Shimrra really was a front for the actual leader of the Vong - a phenomenal bit of Intel if true - and that the real leader, Omini, did have a means of escaping Coruscant and might therefore be able to further the Vong’s war effort with or without Shimrra, then Anakin and Tahiri were right in this being their best option for success.

More frightening, and further evidence that the Jedi were needed to pull this off, was the revelation that Omini could touch the Force.

Leia hated that once again her family was going to be at the heart of the most dangerous part of an already dangerous situation; wished that for once someone else’s family would – could - step up to the task, but had to concede that this is how she had raised her children; to step up, just as she and Han and Luke always had.

Anakin and Tahiri had impressed her with numerous things over the past few days, not the least of which was with the conversation the three had had in Will’s playground.

After the tearful apologies, after the hugs and forgiveness, Anakin had finally explained to his mother how it was that he had been left behind on the worldship.

He told her about the warrior he’d been fighting as Jacen had jumped aboard the Flier, who had lunged forward in his last moments of life and ripped the mic off Anakin’s throat, making it impossible for Anakin to call Jaina for help. He’d told her how the concussions caused by the firefight between the team and the coralskippers overhead had rocked the ground, causing him to lose his balance and fall into a pit of dead warriors; one of whom had an ysalamari strapped to his back. He’d explained how he’d watched the strike team fly away, leaving him stranded, and how when he’d finally clawed his way out of the pit, far enough away from the ysalamari to touch the Force again, he’d called out to his brother and sister; they hadn’t heard or felt him, but he’d known that Tahiri had.

Leia had felt sickened as she realized that that was why Tahiri had been so sure that Anakin wasn’t dead when the strike team had left the worldship; because she’d felt him calling out to her. No one had believed her of course, they had all insisted that in her grief she had imagined that she had felt Anakin; that she’d simply been in denial, refusing to accept that he was gone.

Anakin then told Leia about how he’d hijacked a coralskipper and gotten off the worldship, only to realize within minutes that the ship was sick, dying, and then how he’d crashed on Myrkr.

It was when he’d crashed on the planet, by that point overrun with ysalamari, thanks to the Vong’s destruction of the world’s natural ecological balance, that he and Tahiri had finally lost contact.

When he’d eventually made it off Myrkr, over a year later, he’d been so wounded, so disoriented and near death; that his presence in the Force was too murky for Tahiri to recognize, and, Anakin had said, in all honesty, after being cut off from the Force for so long, he wasn’t sure if he was actually reaching for her at that point, or just picturing her in his mind. Sometimes, he had said, towards the end, he wasn’t sure he even remembered what Tahiri looked like.

Anakin had surprised Leia when he’d said that as angry as he’d been at being left behind, he’d never really been angry with Jaina and Jacen for leaving him. He’d known all along that it had just been a horrible mistake, an awful set of circumstances, and that he’d known all along that they’d never have done it if they’d had the slightest idea that he’d been alive. His anger at them, and the rest of the family, had stemmed not from his siblings abandonment, but rather his anguish over not being able to protect Tahiri from what she had suffered in the wake of his ‘death’.

She hadn’t been surprised when he said that his issue with Jacen now was really the same issue he’d had with Jacen prior to Mrykr; that Jacen was a self righteous pain in the ass, but that he’d be able to overlook that, as he had before, if Jacen wasn’t so awful to his wife.

Leia wasn’t able to argue with Anakin on either of those points, so she left it alone.

She later sensed that Jacen wasn’t thrilled that Leia had found a truce with Tahiri, because now he was the only Solo not singing her praises. She also noticed that he was now standing even closer to, and always seemed to be sitting with, Luke and Mara.

Leia had long known that Luke’s issues with Tahiri were complicated. Having been the one to find her, another orphan from Tatooine, he’d always felt a connection to her. After she had been forced to choose between her tribe and the academy for good, when she no longer had the option of going back to Tatooine, his feelings of obligation and protectiveness became stronger than what he felt for any of his other students, though his frequent absences from Yavin likely didn’t help convey to Tahiri any sense that he saw her as special.

He’d already been harboring a tremendous amount of guilt over her capture when he’d been hit with the double blow of Anakin’s ‘death’ and finding out that Tahiri was pregnant with Anakin’s child. He later told Leia that he felt responsible for the pregnancy too; blamed himself for not keeping a closer eye on them. He felt he had failed Tahiri once again by not being more aware of what was happening between her and Anakin in the wake of her ordeal. Leia was relatively sure that Luke genuinely believed at the time that his idea to send Tahiri to the Maw was in her best interest. That he was very specifically trying to do the right thing, to make up for not having done the right thing by Tahiri in the past.

Tahiri hadn’t seen it that way. She thought Luke was banishing her to escape a living, breathing reminder of some of Luke’s worst decisions; a living, breathing reminder with a mouth, which she was not above using to tell him of just how bad she thought some of those decisions had been.

Mara, though trying to appear neutral, had nonetheless supported Luke in what Tahiri believed was Luke’s attempt to dump her off on Kam and Tionne. They had also both been highly insulted by Tahiri’s resignation from the Order, feeling that the gesture was a giant ‘kriff off’. She could have worked for Iella as long as she wanted too without having actually resigned. That, combined with what Tahiri referred to as their ‘blind support of every breath Jacen took’ in his side in the war of words and emotions between Tahiri and the rest of the family had made a difficult situation worse.

In some ways, Leia thought the rift between Luke and Tahiri would require more to fix than the one between herself and Tahiri; she was pretty sure that Tahiri was utterly oblivious to just how deeply Luke cared for her. Misguided as her brother could be at times, as his little stunt with asking that Anakin fly while Tahiri participated in the Jedi ground assault proved, his heart was in the right place.

Still, all that aside, Leia wasn’t sure Luke and Mara would ever take any steps on their own to smooth things over with Anakin and Tahiri. More than likely Luke would wait for them to go to him and ask to be reinstated as Knights of the Order. Leia couldn’t see happening anytime soon.

Anakin and Tahiri were really happy being pilots and Intel agents.

Their upcoming four-day trek through Coruscant would be interesting; Luke and Mara and Jacen with Anakin and Tahiri and Jaina, a few Wraiths, and a handful of Yuuzhan Vong. Leia would love to be a flitterbug hovering close enough to hear some of those campfire talks. What kinds of conversation would take place at night? Or during the endless walking through Vongformed land? Leia wondered if she’d still have two sons and a brother when this was over; and if the Vong would have anything to do with it if she didn’t.

Han, sitting beside her, brought her focus back to the meeting - he’d made some wisecrack, she was sure. She hadn’t heard what he’d actually said, but after thirty years it hardly mattered – likely something to the tune of what a ridiculous plan this was and that the kids were crazy.

Same old Han.

Her husband had been nearly jubilant since the playground truce; following Anakin around with a swagger that only a proud father could pull off; basking in the reflection of his son’s popularity and brilliance, the heat of that brilliance warming him after too long. He was so happy to do anything he could just to be near Anakin, hand him a hydrospanner when he needed it, adjust a thruster if asked. Anything he could do for his son; he was there.

He was even more delighted to finally get to spend time with Will. He seemed to be trying to make up for lost time; squeezing two years of being a grandfather into a few days. He’d carry their grandson around on his shoulders to wherever the child wanted to go, make as many sand castles as the kid wanted, push him on his swing until Han’s arm was numb. He read to him, chased him, spent a considerable amount of time explaining the finer points of the Falcon’s hyperdrive to him.

Anakin teased that Will stood as much chance of understanding that as anyone else in the family.

And then there was Tahiri.

Han was hardly above taking credit for being the one to hook Tahiri up with Iella, thereby being the architect of her brilliant Intel career. He obviously adored the young woman, always had, and was taking delight in finally being allowed to show that adoration openly. And the romantic in him couldn’t hide his joy in seeing first hand how much she and Anakin loved each other.

He was also thrilled to be able to hang out with Wedge and Tycho, to be accepted and approved of, to feel they respected him again and that the troubles that had created the chasm within the Solo family were being addressed and no longer threatening other relationships.

At least not Han’s.

He was pretty clear that Luke, Mara and Jacen were on their own.

And, as if all that weren’t powering his repulsors enough, there was Anakin’s squad, who, when not actually working, would sit for hours, enrapt, as Han entertained them with stories of his decades of death-defying escapades. Several of them commented that they could clearly see where Anakin had come by his talent and his cockiness and it surprised Leia to realize that her son had grown to be more like his father than she had ever imagined he would.

Her younger son was far more Solo than Skywalker, though why that should surprise her, she didn’t know.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20, Part 2
Some Days Are Better Than Others

30 ABY
Lumont Squadron Hangar, High Security
Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya, Metellos System
2.5 years after the Fall of Coruscant

Anakin was trying really hard to put on a brave face, to be the strong man he knew he was supposed to be, but the sight before him threatened to bring him to his knees.

His wife, his precious wife, stood before him in the hall leading to their hangar, trying to hold herself together, as she prepared herself to say goodbye to their little boy.

Through all the mission planning that had gone on, through all the plotting, and rehashing, and weapons checks and strategizing, and alternate plans and contingency plans, Anakin and Tahiri had deftly avoided discussing this moment. They’d pretended to themselves that rather than being home in time to feed Will dinner and give him a bath and tuck him at the end of the day like usual, they’d just be away a little longer than normal.

This mission would just be a little longer than most.

They both acted as though there wasn’t any chance that this morning might be the last they’d ever spend with their son or that they’d spend together as a family. They’d already been robbed of so much time, so they both tried to banish any comparisons to that long ago morning on Eclipse when they’d said goodbye to each other and pretended that Anakin was going to be home in a few days.

Until last night.

After making love, Anakin had made a big show of putting Tahiri’s nightgown back on her; dressing her, while they both laughed, like he would Will. When she asked him why he was putting her clothes back on her, after having made such a production of taking them off, he’d kissed her and told her he’d be right back.

When he’d returned a few minutes later, Will cradled in his arms, Tahiri had stopped laughing, nodded her head, and began to cry.

Anakin lay Will down next to her, then slid into bed himself, pulling his wife and his son as close to himself as he could, well aware that this was exactly what he and Tahiri had done the night before he’d left for the voxyn mission, Will was just bigger and outside of Tahiri this time.

He’d hoped that the gesture might take some of the sting out of saying goodbye now, that having Will between them, and finally talking about what they were about to do, in whispered tones so as not to wake their son, admitting that what they were embarking on was as dangerous a mission as anything they’d ever done and that they were scared, might make it easier for them to hold it together.

It didn’t; they were both miserable and they both knew Will could feel it.

Anakin watched as his son refused to release his hold on a fistful of Tahiri’s hair, instead he twisted and twirled the flaxen strands through his fingers, a self soothing habit he’d developed when only a few months old. He watched as Will refused to pull his head up from where he’d buried it in Tahiri’s neck, refused to allow Tahiri to pull his thumb from his mouth, another self soothing habit, though this one he only indulged in when overtired or he could feel stress emanating off the grown-ups around him.

The worst part of watching all of this was knowing that Tahiri didn’t want to be pealing their son off of herself and handing him over to Winter, who was waiting in the hangar; Tahiri wanted to hold Will tightly and race back to their rooms; hide under the blankets and not come out until the coast was clear and this kriffing war was over.

Anakin felt the same way. But neither one of them was going to do that.

“Come here, buddy.” Anakin said gently, as he wedged an arm in between his wife and son and tried to pull Will over. “Dada wants some love too.”

Will released his thumb from his mouth and wound that arm around Anakin’s neck, but still wouldn’t let go of Tahiri’s hair, so Anakin pulled them both to him, tucked his head down between both of their curly blonde heads, and opened himself to the Force. He wrapped them both in a tight bond of love, felt them both reach back, felt them weave the threads of light that they were through his own presence, and prayed he wasn’t lying when he whispered, “Mama and Dada will be home soon.”

“Mama Dada wuv Wiwl.”

Tahiri laughed gently through her tears. “Yes, angel.” She whispered as she stroked his head. “Mama and Dada love you very much. You be a good boy for Winter and the guys, okay? And we’ll be back as soon as we can.”

Before Will could respond a gentle throat clearing sounded ahead of them.

Anakin had felt him coming and almost wanted to laugh. He couldn’t imagine who thought sending Jacen to find them was a good idea, but there he was. He actually felt sorry for his brother. But Anakin had to admit, something had changed in the last few days; he didn’t know why, didn’t know what had caused it, but a shift had taken place and the red and purple hues he always saw in the Force when his brother was near had lightened; had begun to fade to yellows and blues.

That was really the only way Anakin could think to describe it.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Jacen said quietly. “The Yuuzhan Vong are already on board and Face is getting antsy. He sent a few of us to look for you.”

Tahiri chuckled as she turned and looked up. “And you were the unfortunate one who got sent in this direction?”

Anakin was pleased to note that there was no venom in her voice. As angry as he’d been at all of them after he’d heard what had happened between her and his family on Hapes, Tahiri was the only one he had any sort of influence over. He had told her that they were adults now, parents, and that they needed to stop shooting their mouths off. She seemed to understand that what he really meant was that she needed to stop shooting her mouth off and was relieved when she appeared to take his admonishment to heart without getting angry or defensive. She had gotten much better, and he was proud of her.

“Yeah… sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Anakin soothed, then he unleashed what he’d found to be the all purpose weapon against discomfort in adults; he nudged Will’s head with his chin and said, “Can you say ‘hi’ to Uncle Jacen?”

Tahiri took Will back and started toward the hangar as Will smiled, albeit anemically for him, and said, “Hi, unka Ace-uhn.”

“Hi Will,” Jacen returned as he fell in step beside Anakin and they followed Tahiri out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The vibe in Anakin’s hangar was a little morose. What had he expected?

His parents and aunt and uncle were all there, Luke and Mara waiting to board the transport for Coruscant, Han and Leia saying their goodbyes.

Jaina was standing with Jag and the Antilles; Jag would be flying with the Lumbonts under Paloma’s command.

Anakin was very proud of Lomi. He’d had a feeling, once he’d gotten to know her, that she had the potential to be something great, that there was more there than just a nanny hidden behind her smile, even more there than just a friend.

After Anakin and Tahiri had reconciled, the second time, while he was still trying to build his squad, he decided he wasn’t happy with Tahiri spending all day everyday in an office away from him.

Anakin’s solution to that; teach her to fly an X-Wing and make her his XO.

Tahiri had reservations, the most prominent of which was the fact that she already had a job that she really loved. There was also the fact that Iella depended heavily on Tahiri because she was Intel’s leading Yuuzhan Vong expert, and the Yuuzhan Vong weren’t surrendering on the condition they be brought to Iella and Winter; they were surrendering to Tahiri.

Anakin’s solution to that had been to convince Iella to make his squad an Intel unit that answered to her as much as to Wedge and Tycho and to let Tahiri fly part time.

It ended up being a lot of work for Tahiri, but one of the nice things about all those years of Jedi training was her ability to use short trances in lieu of actual sleep. Everything was looking great, everyone was happy, the squad was almost ready to start flying when, on a whim, Anakin threw Paloma into a simulator one day when he was working with Tahiri.

And Paloma blew him away - literally and figuratively.

Tahiri was furious at Anakin for poaching Paloma; she’d had a hell of a time with nannies. She got very few volunteers to look after her baby after the first nanny had been killed on Denon. Several others had left or had been asked to leave because they couldn’t handle Will’s Force sensitivity; it either scared them or they found it creepy – Tahiri had wanted to Force strangle the little brat who’d referred to Will as creepy – but even with all the difficulty before she’d found Paloma, at least she’d been on ship to keep a close eye on Will and whoever personnel had thrown at her to babysit that week. There was no way in hell she was leaving Will with a stranger so she and Paloma could go off flying with Anakin. She didn’t care if the commandos were there or not; their job was to keep their eyes open, their blasters set to kill, and to destroy anything that came near her son. They didn’t change diapers, fix bottles, or sing lullabies.

As usual, Anakin had a solution; make the squad larger than average and always leave two pilots on the Lusankya with the commandos to watch over Will.

Once Tahiri had cooled off, she and Paloma had been highly amused by Anakin adding questions pertaining to whether a pilot liked children, or had any prior experience with children, to his interviewing process. He also essentially gave Will the final say in selecting his pilots. After they’d met all of Anakin’s other criteria, he placed each of the men and women in an interrogation room, complete with one-way observation glass, and watched to see what Will thought of them.

It had bummed Anakin out a little when he’d had to cut a couple of pilots he really liked because Will had cried inconsolably from the moment Anakin had left the room. He’d ended up writing highly complementary evaluations for them though, and was pretty sure they were thriving in other squadrons.

Anakin’s solutions ended up working nicely though. Even on days that Tahiri was in her Intel office and another pilot was with her and the security team to help with Will, Anakin still had a full squadron to back him in space, and usually Paloma was flying his wing.

He took the same glee in watching her take down pilot after pilot in simms as Tycho did watching Tahiri, and Anakin had the utmost faith in her ability to handle the squad during this mission; Lumbonts would be covering the Falcon when Han and Leia swooped in, undoubtedly just barely in time to pull their family out of the havoc they were planning on wrecking planetside.

Some things were simply destined to be and Anakin doubted anyone standing in his hangar as he, Jacen and Tahiri entered, would bother to pretend otherwise at this point.

Anakin spotted the commandos and the Celchus in last minute conversation with the Wraiths.

Face was a god in Bram’s book; Face was what Bram wanted to be when he grew up.

When the war was over and Will and Tahiri were no longer on Shimrra’s hit list, when Bram no longer spent his time killing Yuuzhan Vong and Vong sympathizing infiltrators on the floor of the hangar next to Anakin’s when they tried to get at Anakin’s wife and son, Bram, and probably Stoker and Junip, judging by the way they drooled over Kell Tainer, would likely become Wraiths themselves. Anakin hoped so. He’d be happy to sign those transfer orders when the time came. The guys deserved the honor and the prestige for all they’d done.

Iella and Winter both noticed their arrival and Anakin caught them excusing themselves from the groups they were talking to, watched as they began to make their way over to Anakin and Tahiri and felt Tahiri stiffen beside him. The rest of the group noticed them too.

Face and Kell nodded and began to make their way to the transport as the commandos and the Lumbonts raised hands, chins, and arms in salute and filed out various doors to go busy themselves elsewhere.

They’d all said their goodbyes last night.

Jaina smiled over and took Jag’s hand and led him toward the boarding ramp for what Anakin assumed would be a private farewell.

Luke and Mara hugged Han and Leia, and they, along with Jacen, turned away from the Solos and headed off themselves.

Paloma was the first in the hangar to actually reach Anakin’s side. He hadn’t even seen her with the others, but she did have a way of sneaking up on him. It wasn’t a surprise that Valin was hot on her trail.

“Hey, boss.”

“Lomi.”

Anakin had already given her all the instructions and pep talks she needed. She knew what she was supposed to do; she was supposed to shoot straight and fly fast and get her ass back home with all the rest of the kids in front of her, so he just reached out and wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss on top of her big red head.

“Keep her out of trouble, okay?” Paloma said, as she nodded toward Tahiri.

“Uh…” Tahiri defended, “I’m not taking Valin with me, so I’m not going to need to kept out of trouble.”

“Yeah, like it’s my fault you’re a crash artist.” Valin teased. Then he put his arms around Tahiri and Will, leaned his cheek against hers and said, “Stay safe, I don’t want to have to break in a new wing mate. As big a pain in the ass as you are, I’ve finally got you trained up the way I like.”

Tahiri smiled and said, “Starfood.”

Valin smiled too, then turned his face and whispered something in Tahiri’s ear that Anakin didn’t hear but made her giggle. Then he stood back and cupped her face and got very serious. “I’ll see you soon, loudmouth,” he said, before reaching up and kissing her forehead.

Valin took Paloma’s hand, pulled her away from Anakin and offered a lazy salute. “An ale on me for every bad guy you take down, sir.”

Anakin saluted back just as lazily, “I don’t pay you that much, Horn.”

“I look forward to working it off then,” he called as he turned and wrapped his arm around Paloma, who Anakin could feel, was crying.

“I think that’s everyone.” Winter said gently.

Anakin looked around and saw that, indeed, the hangar was clear, but for his parents and the Holds.

He watched Tycho and Wedge each hug Tahiri, then he saluted them, smartly, like he was supposed to, and bit the corner of his lip as they saluted back and turned and marched away.

Neither one of them were big on goodbyes and that was fine, Anakin was about spent anyway, and Tahiri was crying and holding Will so tightly against her chest that Anakin was pretty sure it was going to take everything he had to pry their son out of her arms.

He hugged his dad and his mom and then Iella and Winter, but didn’t say anything to any of them, they’d already said it all, a hundred times before; then he turned to Tahiri and cupped her cheek.

“We have to go, my love.”

“I know.”

“You need to say goodbye.”

“I know,” she whispered as tears streaked down her face.

For a crazy second he thought about telling her to stay, telling her not to go with him, to screw the plans. They didn’t need a translator, they didn’t need the Jeedai who was shaped to galvanize the Shamed Ones, and that she should stay there and protect their son like she did when he’d gone to Myrkr, and in one of those rare crystal clear moments like that day they’d been arrested on Eriadu, she seemed to know exactly what was going through his mind and she said, “No.” Then she kissed Will’s head and pulled him away from her and said, “I love you.” And then pushed him into Winter’s arms and ran to the transport.

Anakin sucked in a breath, startled at both the lightning fast speed at which all those thoughts had raced through his mind and at the fact that Tahiri had caught all of them, and at the emotion pouring off of her and Will, who was now crying too.

He leaned over and took Will’s face in his hands, and kissed his forehead, then pulled back, and looking into his bright green eyes, Tahiri’s eyes, and said, “Dada loves you too. I’ll bring Mama home soon, I promise.”

Then he turned and ran after Tahiri.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21
Roll Up For The Mystery Tour

30 ABY
Occupied Coruscant/Yuuzhan’tar
2.5 years after the ‘Fall of Coruscant’

Jacen stared out at the landscape before him and felt like he would cry.

It wasn’t so much that he missed the cityscape of Coruscant, it wasn’t that he missed the durcacrete or traffic or congestion of the world he’d been born on, it was that he was stunned by the transformation of his homeworld.

How could so much change have occurred in so little time?

Jacen was painfully aware of what destruction had been wrought in order to bring about the change; of what had been torn down, of what had been killed, who had been killed, the billions who had lost their lives in order to bring about the changes that had taken place. For the first time he felt a little of the righteous anger he had seen as a flaw in his brother for so long.

He glanced over at Anakin - Tahiri, as always, right there at his side. With their bedrolls and backpacks they almost looked, again, like a couple on vacation, as opposed to soldiers embarking on a strike against the Supreme Overlord of the Yuuzhan Vong. They were standing with Face Loran and Kell Tainer, smiling at something one or both of the renown agents was saying.

It was only when Anakin passed Tahiri a bandolier hung heavily with concussion and fragmentation grenades that the vacation vibe disappeared.

Tahiri, as was apparently her habit, was armed to the hilt. She was wearing that hairclip again. According to Mara it was actually a bomb. Mara had also told Jacen that there were knives in the toes of Tahiri’s boots, triggered when she smacked her heel against the ground. She also had knives in her boots. The weapons he could see, aside from the grenades, were the two lightsabers hanging from the equipment belt slung low on her hips, and the very large blaster strapped to her thigh.

Jacen had recently realized that Tahiri must have a violent streak, and he wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before. It would make sense; she had been raised for several years by Tusken Raiders. Jacen wondered if that was part of the attraction for Anakin. It would fit with Anakin’s tendency to swing first and ask questions later.

In a moment that had made Jacen cringe, he had wondered if violence might actually contribute to the ‘physicality’ in their relationship. The mere memory of the thought made him cringe again; he hated the fact that he’d even had a thought about their ‘physicality’. It made him feel voyeuristic. But they weren’t exactly subtle about their rambunctious sex life and Jacen had again wondered if part of the attraction for Anakin was that his wife might very well be able to kill him in bed.

Maybe his little brother really liked living on the edge.

Jacen shook his head, tried to dispel the visuals that went with thoughts of Anakin and Tahiri’s intimate life, but caught himself once again studying their current demeanor, was once again taken aback by the idea that everything seemed so easy for them, and in a flash Jacen wondered if Tahiri had been right back on Hapes when she’d accused him of being jealous of Anakin.

He hated to think that he was, hated to think that all this time it was resentment or envy that fueled his disdain for how Anakin lived his life and made his choices. He liked to think that he was a better person than that, that he was more thoughtful and circumspect, that he made his own decisions and had his own ideas based on his own sense of morality and that his disagreements with his brother stemmed from honest differences in opinions and that it was Anakin’s fault that those differences so often led to arguments rather than simple acceptance that different people could hold different ideals.

He was beginning to think that maybe that wasn’t the case after all.

He’d worked so hard over the past few years to see things in a different light than how Anakin saw things, tried to view this war and the enemy and the Force in a way that was more holistic and less aggressive than his brother did. But turning back to the view of the landscape, thinking back to the mindless slaughter of beings he’d seen on all the other planets the Vong had taken, the destruction of other worlds, he had to admit, enough was enough.

Maybe Anakin was right; there was a time and a place for everything. When this was over, he could go about preaching, or rather teaching peace, but right now, that wasn’t possible. Right now, the Vong had to be stopped.

He stepped closer to his brother and sister-in-law, curious as to what they found funny, what they were discussing with the legendary Wraith members that was making them smile in the midst of their surroundings. He was pretty sure Face had just asked Anakin how long it had been since he’d been to Coruscant. Anakin must have been as surprised by the planet’s transformation as he’d been, though he wasn’t sure why they would have been laughing at that.

Jacen took another step closer to hear, stood beside Anakin; waited for his brother’s response as he waited for them all to start the trek.

“Four years, a little longer.” Anakin was telling Face. “The night I left to go to Yavin.”

“Ah,” Face said. “Your first foray into sneaking off to save the galaxy.”

Jacen watched Anakin reach for Tahiri’s hand, brought it up to his mouth and kissed her palm as he began walking, fell in step behind Luke, as he, Face and Mara started walking, began to lead the way through the shrubs and tall grass, the rest of the group following suit.

“Nah,” Anakin finally answered, “just my girlfriend. I didn’t start sneaking off to save the galaxy until a few months later.”

“I wasn’t your girlfriend yet then, dummy,” Tahiri corrected from beside him.

“True… just my best friend.”

“Your partner in crime,” she laughed back.

“Now there’s an apt description,” Luke muttered, from directly ahead of Anakin.

“Are you implying that we were difficult children, Uncle Luke?” Anakin asked, and even Jacen couldn’t help but smile.

If not difficult, they’d certainly all been adventurous children.

“Of course not, Anakin. You and Tahiri were model students. Always in bed on time, always where you were supposed to be, never in the med center, never giving me or Kam or Tionne any cause for worry or concern.”

Tahiri was laughing again, until Anakin hooked a thumb in her direction and said; “Hey, blame it on her; I never got into any trouble until she came into my life.”

Tahiri’s smile faded and her Force presence became very still as she sighed and said, “That’s me; causing nothing but trouble for the Solo family since 22 ABY.”

Jacen could tell that Anakin regretted his comment, and was amused as he watched his little brother try to smooth things over with his wife.

“But worth every bump and bruise.” Anakin told her as he pulled on her arm, pulled her closer and kissed her neck quickly before she pulled away and continued walking. “And you were smokin’ hot in that little orange jumpsuit.”

Luke made a slight throat clearing noise as Tahiri said, “Oh, brother.” Then sighed indulgently. “And you wonder why people assume the worst about us.”

It took Jacen a second to figure out why Luke was radiating discomfort, but he didn’t have a chance to think too much about it before his brother cut back in.

“Now what could you possibly be referring to, Agent Veila?”

Luke made another noise and Tahiri giggled.

“As if you don’t know.” Then she added, “You’re bad news, Colonel Solo.”

“Because orange turned me on?”

This time Luke huffed, and Tahiri snorted. Mara, who was ahead of Jacen, and to the right of Luke, shot Anakin a look over her shoulder, but Jacen could feel the humor coming off of his brother when he continued his compliments with, “It went so well with your complexion.”

“You’re horrible.” Tahiri scolded, as she rolled her eyes. “I was a little kid in the orange.”

Anakin laughed again.

“Okay, enough.” Luke was clearly not as amused as Anakin or Tahiri. “As one of the adults charged with watching over you at that point, I’m not finding the orange jumpsuit bit funny.”

“I never found it funny. That was an awful color.” Tahiri complained.

“But it set off your eyes so beautifully.”

“Anakin.” Mara, Luke and Tahiri all cried in unison.

Anakin just laughed some more.

“So,” Jaina began, from behind Tahiri, “She wasn’t your girlfriend when you went to Yavin?”

“Nope.” Anakin replied through a cookie between his teeth.

Tahiri giggled again. “Here it comes.”

“Here what comes?” Jaina asked.

“So who wins?” Kell wondered.

“I’m not sure anyone wins, since technically, Anakin sort of brought the whole thing up himself.” Face remarked.

“I’m not sure anyone wins, since technically, no one’s actually asked the question.” Tahiri informed.

“Wins what?” Mara asked and Jacen couldn’t tell what was frustrating her more; the conversation, or the vines tangled around her ankles. She unhooked her lightsaber from her belt and cut at the vines, then cut the blade off and glanced back at Anakin.

“The bet.” Anakin informed her.

“What bet?” Jaina asked.

To Jacen’s amazement, it was Huane, the Yuuzhan Vong Shaper Tahiri had insisted on bringing along on the trek, walking behind Anakin, who supplied the answer to Jaina’s question.

“It would seem, and please to excuse me not always better Basic. It would seem, many think bad things to regards relationship of Tahiri clan Veila and Anakin clan Solo because they have not reached mature human age before marriage. The bet is when you ask they become couple.”

Jacen watched in shock as his brother laughed uproariously and then turned and offered the Shaper a high five while her cheeks turned a slight shade of lavender, which Jacen assumed was the closest thing to a blush a Vong got.

Tahiri stopped and put her hands on her hips and was raising an eyebrow at Anakin. “And you wonder why I never want to take you to work with me.”

“You said to work with her on her Basic.” Anakin defended.

“Yeah, Conversational Basic, ‘Hello, my name is Huane’, ‘How are you today?’ Not the history of our relationship or gambling.”

“Ah,” Tron, one of the Shamed Ones, walking beside Kell, spoke up, “Idiot’s Array?”

Even Luke laughed at that and Tahiri dropped her head into her hands, but then lifted it back up and glared at Anakin.

“Excuse me, Tahiri domain Veila,” Huane came to Anakin’s defense, “Anakin domain Solo also helped me with… astro-navigation.”

“You taught her to program jumps?” Tahiri asked.

Anakin raised his hands, palms up, in a classic Han Solo ‘what?’ pose? “If there had been an emergency, you would have been thanking me.” Anakin said.

“Unbelievable,” Tahiri sighed as she unclipped her lightsaber and hacked at some vines around her ankles.

“Excuse me, Tahiri domain Veila, but Anakin clan Solo also taught me to count time, and I am also in charge of bet. As of,” Huane stepped over to Anakin, and none too gently, twisted his arm around, causing him to yelp, and everyone else to laugh. Looking at Anakin’s wrist chrono, Huane continued, “As of 109 minutes into journey, no being has asked the control question. We have no winner.”

They all began walking again, in silence until Jacen finally asked; “Well?”

“Well, what?” This time it was Kell who answered, playing innocent.

“When did you become a couple?” Mara gritted out.

Face turned back and looked at Huane pointedly. “Time.”

“Not yet,” Anakin t’sked, then, turning back to Mara, “Can you define what you mean by ‘couple’?”

Tahiri seemed to find her humor again and laughed.

It was Jaina who finally nearly wailed, “What kind of break down do you want? When did you first kiss?”

“Time.” Face called to Huane again.

Anakin stopped walking and made a production of showing his chrono to Huane

“One-hundred fourteen minutes. The award is for Colonel Celchu.”

“He’s always the big winner,” Kell complained.

“You’d almost think he had the Force,” Face added.

Anakin smirked, unhooked his lightsaber, and cut away at some vines near his feet, then cut at some vines near Luke’s, then resumed walking as he said to his sister; “In answer to your question, Jaina, it was in a locker on an airless space station in orbit over Yag’Dhul.”

“When I was dying?” Mara asked, clearly insulted.

“We didn’t know you were dying at the time,” Anakin defended, “And trust me, as soon as we realized, it put a real damper on things. We didn’t touch each other again for weeks, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Somehow, it sort of does,” she responded.

Jacen could tell that Luke wasn’t mollified. “So, you were fourteen and sixteen?”

Tahiri smiled again. “Fifteen and seventeen, actually. But then, like he said, nothing happened again for ages. In fact, when he did kiss me,” she laughed, “we said if we survived, if we didn’t die in that airless locker, we’d have to figure out our relationship, you know because we’d been best friends since we were little kids. So Anakin’s solution…”

“Oh, you’re evil.” Anakin hissed.

Tahiri giggled and dodged out of Anakin’s reach as he tried to pinch her waist.

“Anakin’s idea of ‘figuring out our relationship’ was to ignore me for several weeks. Then, he shows up at my room one night, and informs me that he’s figured it all out.”

“Evil. With a capital ‘E’.”

“So he sat me down, and he can barely look at me at first, so I’m preparing myself for the worst. I’m certain I’m about to have my heart broken. And I was trapped on the Venture with him, and then what was I going to do?”

“Where’s the loyalty? Where’s the devotion and the sense of sacredness?”

“And then he blurts out; ‘I was doing some research on fighter specs and I found this statistic… ah… did you know that… uhm… in forty-two percent of New Republic Star Systems the only requirement for legality of matrimony is the mutual agreement of two participants over the age of fourteen?’”

Jaina squealed, “Oh Force! That’s where he got forty-two?”

Tahiri continued to laugh and nodded as she went on. “So I’m sitting there with my mouth hanging open…”

The sound of Tahiri’s lightsaber snapping on caught Jacen’s attention again. He jumped slightly and looked over to see her slicing at more vines covering her foot.

“Sorry. My boot was caught.”

She powered her weapon back down as Anakin spoke up.

“Might be the only time in all the years I’ve known her I’ve rendered her speechless. Almost worth the embarrassment and humiliation for that win.”

“So I’m sitting there with my mouth hanging open, trying to figure out where he’s going with this, and then he says, ‘oh, and I’m in love with you. So, are we in mutual agreement?’”

“And she says” Anakin cut in, putting his hands on his hips in imitation of Tahiri, “Honestly Anakin, the least you could do is kiss me again before you ask me to marry you.’”

“To which he replies, ‘Oh, yeah… uhm… okay.’ Like that is the last thing he wants to do.”

“It was actually the first thing I planned to do, but I got nervous when I got there and sort of started with the end of my ‘to do’ list by accident.”

“‘To do’ list?” Jaina asked, horrified. “Wow, how romantic.”

“It’s always wise to have a plan,” Face laughed, “even if you don’t stick to it.”

“Thank you,” Anakin said. “At least someone understands. And still, I was so nervous, it took us ages to get past the innocent kissing stage.”

“Really?” Jaina was clearly surprised.

Tahiri laughed again. “Yeah, much to, I’m sure everyone’s surprise, we stayed innocent for quite a while.”

“I’m still trying to rectify that.” Anakin added smugly.

Tahiri batted the back of his head playfully. “What was that you were just saying about ‘sacred’, Hero-boy?”

“And there was more to my grand plan,” Anakin continued. “Of course all of our ‘plans’ got shot to hell.”

“Boy is that the truth.” Tahiri laughed.

“What do you mean?” Mara asked as she snapped her lightsaber on and cut at more vines at her feet. She didn’t bother to turn it back off.

“Well,” Anakin explained, “besides being innocent, we planned on being knighted eventually. We planned on getting formally married when Tahiri turned twenty, or when the war ended, whichever came first. We planned on having our first kid when Tahiri was twenty-five. Anyway, we made a conscious choice to wait until Tahiri turned sixteen to do anything too serious.”

“You could have abstained,” Jacen suggested.

Anakin laughed again as he turned on his lightsaber back on. “I’ll tell you what Jace, when you’ve got a hot and willing wife who’s on birth-control, come talk to me about abstaining.”

Kell and Face laughed at that, even Luke smiled, and Tahiri batted Anakin’s head again.

“Besides,” Tahiri continued, “we were still on the Venture and Corran was stalking us. Anakin was terrified of him.”

“The man was relentless. And with all the jumping we were doing from system to system, I could just see us popping out somewhere where the age of consent was sixteen and not younger, and Corran arresting me just to prove a point. I wasn’t taking any chances. You would have thought Tahiri was his daughter.”

“I’m sure he thought he was looking out for her best interests,” Mara said.

“No he wasn’t, he was bored and feeling superior. Tahiri could have held a senate seat for any number of planets, and been legally married, but not slept with her husband? I pity any man who ever takes an interest in Jysella.”

“You don’t think it had anything to do with wanting to keep you guys from making a mistake? Or thinking he might have a better idea of the gravity of the choices you were making?” Luke asked.

“No, as a matter of fact, I don’t,” Anakin said. “And to this day I catch him glaring at me once in a while. I finally told him last time he came to see Valin that Tahiri and I were married and had a child and he really needed to get over this. And that we had, in fact, been married a second time, by the same man who performed his own wedding ceremony.”

“Then Anakin grinned at him and invited him to sleep on our couch.”

“He has no sense of humor sometimes.”

“Valin and Mirax nearly hemorrhaged laughing though. That was fun to watch.”

Jaina cut at some vines near her feet, then asked, “So wait, when we were all on the Venture that year, and it was your sixteenth birthday, and I asked what Anakin gave you, and you said he was all the present you needed…”

Anakin snorted. “You said that?”

“What can I say? Your brother’s the gift that keeps on giving.” Tahiri giggled.

“Ewwww.” Jaina moaned.

“Hey, if you didn’t want the answer you shouldn’t have asked the question, sis.”

“I’m starting to regret that I asked the question. In fact, I’m starting to regret that anyone asked any question.”

“Especially since none of us won the bet.” Jacen said. “What did Tycho win, anyway?”

“A night on our couch.” Anakin and Tahiri both laughed, but their humor was cut short as Anakin began cutting at more vines.

“So how long have you been married now?” Face asked.

“In my eyes, or Wedge’s eyes?” Anakin asked.

“Both.”

“Three years, and almost a year.”

“And Mama Tahiri is still Veila and not Solo or Veila-Solo, like the rest of the women in the family because…?” Kell asked.

“Are you kidding?” Tahiri asked. “You say the name ‘Solo’ and half the galaxy turns around.”

Anakin stopped walking and threw an arm around Jacen’s shoulders, waited for Jaina to catch up, then threw his other arm around hers and said, “Yeah, but it’s the devastatingly good looking half.”

Tahiri moaned and rolled her eyes.

Over much laughter, Jacen nodded, “You know what, Tahiri, I’m going to have to agree with him on this.”

“Yeah, so am I.” Jaina added.

“As if I ever doubted you were Han Solo’s children…” Mara said, shaking her head.

Jaina shook off Anakin’s arm and snapped her lightsaber on, at almost the same time Luke snapped his on, both hacking at vines that Jacen realized were no longer just tangled around their feet, but actually climbing up their legs. Just as they were cutting themselves free, Tahiri snapped hers on again and suddenly Jacen realized all the Jedi had their blades on and the vines were creeping faster.

“What’s going on?” Face called out.

“I don’t know.” Luke yelled.

“The vines are attacking us.” Mara cried.

Jacen looked around long enough to realize that the Vong and the Wraiths were untroubled.

“Run,” Luke called, pointing toward a duracrete core of something the vonglife had evidently found indigestible.

They all did, scrambling and swinging at the foliage in front of them, following behind the others until they’d cleared the open field and made it into the shelter that lay a hundred meters from where they’d been when the vines had begun to overwhelm them.

The six Jedi collapsed on the floor and against the walls of the battered building, panting and gasping, while the two Wraiths and the three Yuuzhan Vong looked on in confusion.

Jacen finally rolled to his side, far enough to sit up with his backpack still on, and, panting, looked at his aunt and uncle, leaning together against a wall, shaking their heads. He reached over to his sister, stuck on her back at an awkward angle because of her own pack, and grabbed her hand, pulling her to a sitting position. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she breathed out, “you?”

“Yeah. Anakin?”

“Yeah.”

Anakin was sitting against the wall, Tahiri cradled in his arms, as he ran his hand over her head while she worked to calm her breathing.

“You take me to the best places,” she finally wheezed out.

Anakin chuckled.

So did Jacen.

“Think of this as that honeymoon I’ve always promised you,” Anakin panted.

“Sometimes, your romantic side comes shining through…”

“I can be romantic…”

“…bright as a newborn star.”

“This is the fourth planet I’ve walked across for you. How much more romance do you need?”

Tahiri sat up, got to her knees, and kissed Anakin’s forehead before gaining her feet and reaching down to pull him up. She then turned and walked to the edge of the duracrete.

“Next time,” Anakin continued, “can we make it a civilized planet? Not that I wouldn’t do it again and again, but having a speeder might be nice for a change.”

“Then you wouldn’t be ‘walking’ across a planet for me though,” she shot over her shoulder distractedly as she stood at the edge of what was left of the room the group was standing in and looked out at the field they’d just left.

“Holy bantha kriffer…” Tahiri breathed out a few minutes later, as she began to back away from the opening. “Jacen, now would be a really good time to show us all how great you are with animals.”

Jacen leapt up and joined Tahiri at the edge of the room, and felt his mouth drop open at what was coming their way.

“I’m not sure that’s going to respond to anything I can do.”

Instead of even attempting to reach out to the animal with the Force, instead of even attempting to see if the animal was Yuuzhan Vong, or a species he could communicate with, he grabbed Tahiri’s hand, swung her around with him and screamed, “Run!” to the rest of the group, and bolted for the stairway at the back of the room.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22
He Knows About Your Party, He Is Calling You Dude

30 ABY
Occupied Coruscant/Yuuzhan’tar
2.5 years after the ‘Fall of Coruscant’

Anakin was getting cranky.

If Tahiri shoved one more cookie down his throat he was going to…

Yeah, right… what – exactly – was he going to do to his wife?

Tahiri had been digging into his backpack, every thirty minutes or so, for the last four hours, for cookies. She was trying to be nonchalant, she was trying to be subtle, but subtle was simply not in Tahiri’s repertoire, never had been, in all the years he’d known her, and he knew that everyone noticed what was going on.

He still hated that his body didn’t work the way it was supposed to. He also hated that there was every possibility that if things got too stressful on this trip that his body would just say no. Just quit. Decide it couldn’t meet the physical demands Anakin was placing on it.

And then he’d get to lay in Tahiri’s arms and watch her watch him die.

So he kept his mouth shut, or rather, open, and he ate the kriffing cookies that his wife kept shoving into it.

Tahiri had lectured him before they’d left, had followed him around with bottles of water making sure he was drinking enough and was properly hydrated. Insisted that he pay an extra visit to the med center for dialysis to make sure his kidneys were as cleansed as possible, made sure the blood testing machine in her pack was charged and working, made sure that the combined number of cookies in their packs were more than enough to see him through. But he still hated this, and dreaded the topic being brought up if anyone finally caught on to what Tahiri was doing and finally asked the question.

This was the one topic that no bets were placed upon. The one topic Anakin would not tolerate any wagers being joked about.

Tahiri had told his mom the whole story in the playground the morning they’d all talked, but he’d asked his mom not to say anything to anyone else. The mere fact that not one person had commented on Tahiri’s continuous force feeding him cookies made him think that Leia had not kept her promise and that everyone on the team, who spoke fluent Basic, knew exactly why Tahiri was doing it.

He wasn’t sure whether to thank her, or throttle her. And by ‘her’ he wasn’t sure if he meant Tahiri or his mother. Or both of them.

It had been five hours since the monster in the field, which neither Jacen nor Tahiri had been able to give a clear description of, except to say that it was big and scary and had lots of legs and even more teeth. The thing had sent them scurrying up through the remains of what they thought was once a clothing manufacturing plant. If the broken and vandalized mannequins, sewing machines, clothing hangers, and scraps of fabrics were anything to go by.

They’d climbed several stories and come back out into the open air. They were now making their way through what might once have been an artificial park. It was very quiet. Too quiet for Anakin’s liking. There were no animal sounds, no birds cawing, not even the sound of wind whistling through trees. Of course, there weren’t any trees. Just mud and dirt, and more broken and twisted steel and concrete on either side of them where more buildings used to be.

“Any idea where we are?”

Luke’s question broke the eerie silence and startled Anakin. The only other noise he’d heard in ages had been the sound of his pack being unzipped and zipped back up, followed immediately by the rustling of the wrappers of his cookies.

They’d all been subdued. Though if it was caused by the wildlife that had attacked them, fatigue, or the depressing devastation they were making their way through, he didn’t know.

He was glad to finally hear a voice.

“Despite our little detour,” Face called over his shoulder, “right about where we should be. We’ve covered about twenty kilometers.”

Face was walking point with Tron and Hal, another of the Shamed Ones.

“Oh, goodie.” Kell replied cheerily. “Only eighty to go. Not bad for a day’s work.”

Anakin flinched when he felt a large splat hit his shoulder. He turned his head to see what it was, just in time to see a splat hit Tahiri’s head.

He felt his eyes go wide, as he leaned closer to her, watched her cringe and throw her hands into her hair to wipe away a second hit, and then felt his mouth fall open when he realized what it was.

“What, Anakin? What was that?”

“Ah…”

He didn’t get any further before he felt another hit on his own head, then saw another plop hit Tahiri’s shoulder. On pure instinct, he threw his arms around her, and pulled her close, ducking his head over hers, trying to shield her from what was coming at them; falling on them. He looked upwards as the sky began to darken and more plops fell, hitting the other team members.

They were bugs, large, winged bugs. They weren’t like razor or thud bugs. They seemed harmless, but falling from so high up, they still stung when they landed and were making a horrific mess on everything they struck, and unlike the attacking vines that seemed to only harass the six Jedi, these were falling on the whole team and covering everyone in bug guts.

“Oh, gross!” Jaina exclaimed, as she threw her hands over her head and began to run to the nearest building corpse.

Everyone else followed suit, chasing after Jaina as she sought shelter.

Once undercover, Anakin turned to see that the sky was darkening rapidly, like a storm whipping up out of nowhere on Yavin Four. Where ten minutes ago, the day had shone brightly, the sky a large blue expanse, now the sun was eclipsed by a steadily growing dark cloud that Anakin could only assume were more of the winged creatures that were already falling like giant raindrops, splatting against the ground, leaving a macabre scene of gore in their wake.

Anakin felt bad about pulling his water bottle out to dump over his head for about a second, until he realized everyone else was doing the same thing. He reached over to Tahiri, and rubbed some of the water through her hair.

“Green is definitely not your color.”

“You prefer me blonde?” She smiled wanly.

He nodded, then lowered his own head as she rinsed his hair for him.

When he felt somewhat human again, or at least not ‘buggy’, he walked over to join Jacen, who was looking out at the ‘storm’.

“Remind you of anything?” Jacen asked.

“One of your collections?”

“Have I ever told you you’re not funny?”

“That’s just because you wouldn’t know funny if it kissed you. But what?”

“Nom Anor and the warriors tracking us on Myrkr.”

Anakin sensed the rest of the Jedi and the Wraiths join them as the words were coming out of Jacen's mouth, just as he felt his blood run cold.

“I don’t suppose you’d like to pull another stunt like you did with Vergere?” Jacen continued.

“What do you mean?” But Anakin was already pretty sure he knew what Jacen meant, he just hoped he was wrong.

“Vergere seemed to know what we were doing – could sense us.”

“Something is sensing us?” Jaina asked, panic clear in her voice.

“Can see where we are and send biots – vegetation and animals… “Jacen kept going.

“And it’s getting worse the farther in we go…” Anakin finally sighed.

“The World Brain!” Huane gasped, and the whole group turned to stare at her.

Kell let out a loud breath. “We’ve never had this kind of trouble before.”

“We’ve been through this area a dozen times,” Face said. “And we’ve never been attacked by vines, or seen that thing Jacen and Tahiri described, or been rained on by insects.”

Anakin turned to Tahiri, but he didn’t need to say anything, she immediately turned to Huane, and began to converse frantically in Yuuzhan Vong, for what, to Anakin, felt like hours. When she turned back to face him, her expression made his knees go weak.

“She says the World Brain controls the ecology of the planet and reports to Shimrra, they have a telepathic connection. Shimrra commands it to behave and it obeys.”

“In other words,” Luke said, “Omini controls the World Brain.”

“Exactly.” Tahiri sighed.

“So if the World Brain is sending things to stop us, to harass us,” Jaina breathed, defeated, “then it’s a good bet Shimrra knows we’re here.”

Anakin ran his hands through his hair and squeezed his head for a minute before dropping his hands to his hips, pacing away from the group and kicking at a wall. “Not good, really not good. Information I really could have used two days ago.”

“I’m so sorry, Anakin.” Tahiri began, her voice quivering, “they never said anything, and it never occurred to me to ask.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. Just… get more information.”

Tahiri nodded, and Anakin knew she was waiting for him to do more than just say ‘it’s okay’, to give her some sign that he didn’t blame her, which he didn’t. But he was too wrapped up in blaming himself and fearing that he’d put the whole team in danger to spare any energy into making her feel better right now. He’d do that when he’d calmed down a bit.

He paced around and kicked more stuff while Tahiri spoke with the Vong. Then sat down and waited for her to translate what she’d learned.

“They don’t know about Omini, so they think this is all Shimrra. Like they already said, the World Brain is what controls the environment. All life forms on the planet are connected and relay information back to the World Brain, which relays information to Shimrra, and therefore Omini. The purpose is to keep the environment in balance, make sure no life forms overpopulate. If a species does, a higher species is sent to attack it, to eat or kill off enough to bring it back into balance. Shimrra, Omini, makes the command for the biots to attack, based on information that is gathered by other biots.”

“Okay, I’m not a Jedi, but I am an Intel agent, and my job is to gather and collate information.” Face started.

“Yes…” Mara prompted, and Anakin could tell she was less than impressed with Face’s resume and wanted him to get on to the point.

Face gave her a winning grin, then turned to Anakin. “Since we’ve never had any of these problems before, and since the vines only attacked you lightsaber wielding do-gooders…”

“Yes…” Mara prompted again, eyebrow arched, and Anakin had to chuckle at the ease with which his aunt could feign being insulted. Or just go from zero to insulted so fast.

“I’m guessing that it’s you guys Omini is concerned with. You are the species Omini feels has overpopulated. And…” he quickly added before Mara could cut in again, “it seems to only be a problem when we’re out in the open, in Vongformed areas.”

“We didn’t have any trouble inside buildings or on duracrete walkways until the bugs started falling,” Jacen supplied.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Kell grinned at Face.

“I love that you can read me like that.”

“After all these years together…” Face replied.

“And…” Mara gritted out.

“The Vonglife is sensing you and keeping Omini updated on where you are. Therefore, my suggestion is we travel through the lower levels. Most of the Vongforming has been done on the surface – there is still Vonglife down there…”

“Not to mention survivors from the fall who’ve been stuck down there for two and a half years and have gone feral.” Kell was quick to throw in.

“Some of whom might think the Jedi are to blame for the situation they’re in.” Face finished.

Anakin blew out breath and looked from Luke to Mara. “Do we really have any other options?”

“None that I can see. We might want to hide our lightsaber when we’re done there, keep them in our pockets or under our clothes.” Luke said.

“Wow, and for once we won’t get grounded for going to the undercity.” Jaina laughed lightly.

“Now there’s looking at the up side, sis.” Anakin grinned, but then winced when he heard Tahiri’s snort, which reminded him that he owed his wife an apology.

He turned his back on the rest of the group and walked over to where she was standing in the corner of the room, far enough away to be alone, but still close enough to hear the conversation. He stood between her and them, so they couldn’t see her, and when she didn’t look at him, crooked his finger and lifted her chin, then bent his knees to be closer to her eye level when she still didn’t meet his gaze.

“Hey,” he whispered.

She shook her head slightly, and her lip trembled. “I’m sorry. I should have known this stuff…”

“Don’t. I wasn’t mad at you; I was frustrated with the situation, and you’re being way too hard on yourself. There was no way for you to know. No one told you. No one told you. Not her and not the Yuuzhan Vong. You can’t think of everything, my love. We’re going to get surprised, we just have to deal with it.”

Tahiri just nodded, so Anakin stood back up and drew her close, rubbing his arms across her back while she pulled herself together, reached for her in their bond, and tried to soothe her.

“You know what this means?” she asked his chest.

Anakin pulled back so he could look down at her and gave her a quizzical look.

“We’re never going to make it all the way to the Citadel if the World Brain can track us. It will probably help Omini protect it, and it him.”

Anakin closed his eyes and moaned. Then patted Tahiri on the butt, kissed her forehead, and turned back to the rest of the group, grabbing her hand and dragging her over with him.

“My brilliant wife has just raised a frightening but very valid point: we’re going to have to take out the World Brain before we can take out the escape ship.”

A chorus of groans and expletives met his announcement and everyone who was still standing sat on the nearest thing they could find to sit on.

“Also,” Huane said quietly, from where she was sitting near Jacen, “one thousand warriors guarding World Brain.”

“Tahiri?”

“Yes, Anakin?” she sighed.

“Will you ask Huane if when she says ‘one thousand’, she means one thousand in Basic, or if she’s converted that wrong from Yuuzhan Vong?”

Tahiri chuckled, and Anakin knew his question was probably pointless, but he could hope.

“She means ‘one thousand’ in Basic.”

Luke laughed at that. “This just keeps getting better. It almost feels like I’m on a mission with your father.”

“Hey!” Jaina, Jacen and Anakin all cried in unison, then laughed at each other for their defense of their father, because they all knew their father was indefensible.

While the Solos were laughing, Tahiri was talking, and after another few minutes, curiosity got the better of Anakin.

“What’s she saying?”

“Hold on,” Tahiri shushed, as she waved her hand at Anakin dismissively.

After another minute, Anakin was getting anxious. “While I’m still young, Veila?”

“Do you want information, or do you want the correct information, Solo?”

Anakin made a face at the back of her head, then turned, unhooked one of his lightsabers, and began tossing it from one hand to the other, trying to occupy himself while his wife chattered endlessly.

“Okay,” Tahiri finally said. “Huane has a plan.”

“For what?” several voices asked in unison.

“For killing the World Brain.”

Before she got any further, or could explain Huane’s plan, Luke asked, “Kill it?” his dismay radiating through the Force.

Oh, kriff.

Of all the times for his uncle to go all pacifist Jedi, Anakin thought. He knew he should have left Luke at home.

It was Tahiri though, who went toe to toe with his uncle, marching up to him and making Anakin proud, and reminding him, yet again, why she was the one for him.

“Yes, Master Skywalker. Kill it. Did you have another idea? Were you thinking we could sit down and chat with it and ask it to please ignore us while we attempted to kill its telepathic partner?”

Though more than ten centimeters shorter than Luke, Tahiri met Luke’s gaze unflinchingly and Anakin had a sudden flash to what those weeks on Hapes must have been like in his absence. He pitied his family. He’d been on the receiving end of Tahiri’s wrath enough in the last ten years to know it wasn’t fun, and rarely fruitful.

“No, Tahiri, I was not going to suggest we talk to it. I was merely going to ask if there was any other way we could deal with it.”

“Oh.” Tahiri smiled brightly. “Well, there isn’t, and Huane says poison.”

“Poison?” Several voices asked, in unison again, and Anakin vaguely wondered if he had stumbled into an echo chamber.

“She’s got poison with her?” Jacen asked, horrified.

“No,” Tahiri breathed, rolling her eyes, and crossing her arms over her chest, as though the thought of a Yuuzhan Vong Shaper carrying poison was a ridiculous idea. “But she says she can make something toxic for us. At least she thinks she can.”

“What does she need?” Though explosives were Kell’s weapon of choice, there was a glint in his eye when he asked the question.

“Plant extracts, which she can find on her own, a fire and a container to cook the mixture in, and the blessing of the gods – if there are gods.”

Anakin snorted. “She say that or are you adding?”

“She said that. I never add.”

“Right.” Anakin murmured, then smiled when Tahiri wrinkled her nose at him.

After a moment of silence, Face clapped his hands together. “Okay, lower levels, find a kitchen, sleep there, and tomorrow we start walking again. We’re going to need to cover more ground each day to make up for the kilometers we’re likely to lose looking for Huane’s plants and a safe place to sleep tonight.”

“Maybe now that we know what we’re in for it will be easier tomorrow.” Tahiri sighed.

Anakin reached an arm out to Tahiri, pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her again. He cradled her head against her chest for a minute, then tilted her head up and smiled slightly against her lips.

“I hope so, my love,” He whispered when he pulled away. “I hope so.”

Jacen walked up beside them. “It seemed like she said more, what didn’t you translate?”

Tahiri smiled broadly at him. “She asked if you had a mate.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 23
The Right Thing To Do

30 ABY
Occupied Coruscant/Yuuzhan’tar
2.5 years after the ‘Fall of Coruscant’

They had been walking for several hours, going deeper and deeper into the underground. They were heading farther away from any Vongforming, and had not been bothered by any plant life or ‘natural’ disasters for some time, but Kell was still nervous.

The team had all gotten a decent amount of sleep the night before, and were well rested, but down here were survivors, if you could call them that, and he feared them more than plants and animals. Down here were the desperate beings who had been living through the occupation, who had been foraging for what was left of food and water supplies. These were the people who had been dodging attacks by warriors, who had been fighting amongst themselves to live off of what was left of Coruscant’s resources. The survivors had set up their own forms of government. The rule here was survival of the fittest, and, unfortunately, the fittest were usually the strongest and the most brutal.

It was almost always the dregs of society who thrived in atmospheres like this, and it was these people that the team was going to have to deal with. This was why the Wraiths usually stuck to the surface when they infiltrated. This is why they took their chances with the Vong on the surface rather than having to face, and likely kill, the beings who dwelled below. Even during peace, even when the New Republic had ruled, the undercity had not been any place Kell wanted to spend time; and from what the Wraiths and other groups had seen the Vong occupation had not brought out the best of humanity.

Luke and Mara, walking point, came to a stop up ahead and Kell could see sunlight shining down a shaft over their heads.

“We’re at an impasse,” Luke called back.

“The walkway has been taken out,” Mara added.

Kell watched a couple of the younger Jedi; Anakin, who Kell really liked, and Mama Tahiri, who he adored, join the Masters in looking into an abyss.

Face and Kell joined them while the rest of the group gathered around.

The chasm was about ten meters wide. On the other side, another ten meters below, was the remains of another walkway. It looked to be a good place for them to start from again—if they could get to it; but Kell couldn’t see any clear spot that they could aim their grappling hooks at to create a zip line to scoot down on.

“What do you think?” Face asked Luke.

“I don’t know. I suppose we can try to climb down on this side, see if there is some way to get across from below. Or, we could backtrack and see if there is some other way to get over.”

Kell looked up just in time to see Anakin and Tahiri give each other wide grins, and then watched them take several steps back from the edge together.

“Care to dance, my love?” Anakin asked.

“With you?” Tahiri answered, “Always.”

Before anyone could ask what they were doing, before Luke or Jacen had finished calling out their names or for them to stop, Anakin and Tahiri had taken running jumps and leapt out into the air.

Kell watched them in awe, soaring like giant birds, then, in unison, they tucked their chins, pulled their knees up to their chests, did tight, neat somersaults in the air, and then landed, feather light, on the platform down below.

“Wow,” Face marveled. “Can you all do that?”

Jaina chuckled. “Not quite.”

Mara laughed, then asked Luke, “You ever notice that Solusar aged more in the time that Anakin and Tahiri were at the academy than in any of the other years that we’ve known him?”

“You ever notice I aged more in those years than in the other years that you’ve known me?” he returned.

“How do they do that?” Kell asked.

“They catch each other with the Force and then they set each other down,” Jacen explained. “They’ve been doing it since they were little kids and they’re able to do it because they have such a strong connection in the Force.”

“And from all the practice they have at hurling themselves off things and then catching and setting each other down,” Jaina added.

“How come I’ve never heard about them hurling themselves off of things?” Luke asked.

“Probably because they knew it would make you age quickly,” Jaina supplied, and Kell suspected she was trying to be helpful.

Anakin dropped onto one knee, in a classic marksman crouch, aimed his grappling hook up at the group, and called for everyone to back away from an exposed strut not far from all of their heads. Kell saw what he was doing; they’d use the strut as an anchor, secure the cable Anakin was about to launch to it, and then send the rest of the team down the line to where Anakin and Tahiri already were.

Good idea, and Kell had to give the kid points for style in the execution of the plan. The kid definitely had style. He’d make a good Wraith one day if he ever had any interest in joining them. Kell doubted Mama Tahiri would ever go for that though. She’d never trust Face and Kell to shove cookies down Anakin’s throat the way she did.

An hour later the whole team was down the zipline—Hal and Tron looking slightly shaky, which surprised Kell, but he supposed that was what made them Shamed Ones, the fact that this sort of thing would make them shaky; and then they were all trekking off again.

They’d only made it a few hundred meters along the new walk way when Tahiri spoke up.

“Anakin?”

“Yeah… I feel it.”

Kell glanced over just as Anakin was pulling one of his lightsabers from his equipment belt, a strange lavender glow lighting the end of it, a glow he’d never seen in his wife’s, or any other Jedi's lightsaber.

“How many?” Jaina asked.

And Kell suddenly remembered hearing stories of Anakin having to rebuild his lightsaber on Yavin with a Yuuzhan Vong lambent crystal when he’d been looking for Tahiri, and how he was able to sense the Vong with it.

“Twelve, maybe fifteen,” Anakin said, grimacing.

“Okay,” Face said, dropping his pack. “What’s the plan?”

Anakin looked around, and Kell could swear he could see the cogs in the younger man’s head turning as he formulated a plan.

“There’s a bridge up ahead. Kell, can you wire the far side of the bridge to blow when we need it to?”

“Are you married to a cute blonde?”

Anakin chuckled. “I am indeed. Okay, Jaina, Jacen, and Tahiri; go out and find the Vong…” Anakin turned to Tahiri, pointed to her and gave her a look, which Kell figured was a ‘don’t you dare start with that Yuuzhan Vong crap right now’ look, to which she just grinned, and then Anakin finished with, “Make them chase you around long enough to give Kell time to wire the bridge. Mara, Luke and I will wait on the far side of the bridge and herd them over it. Tahiri and I have our wrist comms. Tahiri, leave yours on so I can hear what’s going on. The lambent will tell me when you’re getting close. As soon as we’re all across Kell will detonate the bridge. We’ll figure out another way to cross over once we’ve gotten rid of them. Any questions?”

“What shall we do to participate?” Huane asked.

“Stay back behind that wall over there and don’t let them see you.” Anakin ordered. “Any other questions?”

“Can we have lunch after this?” Jaina asked.

“It’s official,” Face laughed, “you’ve spent too much time with Kell.”

“I’m actually really hungry too,” Tahiri added.

“I’ve never known you not to be hungry,” Kell snorted.

“That’s because most of the time we’ve spent with her she was pregnant or breastfeeding. Remember when she used to finish all of our lunches during planning sessions?” Face asked.

“Or that day we sat her in the chair and rolled her around the conference room from plate to plate because she couldn’t walk anymore,” Kell said.

“Oh, goodie. Just when I was missing the ‘me pregnant’ jokes,” Tahiri sighed.

“And as much as I’d love to hear stories about my wife’s pregnancy that I missed, could we focus here?”

“Sorry.” Face and Kell apologized together.

“Does anyone have a legitimate question?” Anakin looked around and when everyone shook their heads, continued, “Good. I may start skipping the Q and A portion.”

“I find that works best,” Face offered.

Anakin rolled his eyes then nodded to Kell, who took that as his sign that it was time to get to work. He grabbed his pack and followed Anakin, who had taken Tahiri’s hand. The trio headed over the bridge, and when they’d reached the far side, Kell picked a spot that he liked and set to work.

“How much time do you need Tainer?”

“Twenty minutes.” Kell told Anakin, then began to place sticks of explosives and wires, all the while keepings his ears open, listening to Anakin and Tahiri.

“You hear that, Tahiri? Twenty minutes?”

“I heard that, Anakin.”

“And here I was trying to avoid using you as bait.”

“When are you going to learn that destiny is a hard thing to shake?”

Kell heard the younger man sigh heavily.

“Be careful,” Anakin told her.

“You be careful.”

“I’m serious. No heroics. Find them, and then run. No taunting, no name calling, just get their attention and then bring them to us. All we need is for them to see you. Don’t say anything in Yuuzhan Vong if you don’t have to.”

“I heard you. No taunting, no name calling, nothing unnecessary. Stay safe. One wife, in one piece, at the end of this.”

“Exactly. I promised Will I’d bring Mama home, don’t make a liar out of me.”

“I won’t.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Finally, Kell had to throw in, “You guys are so sweet together. Honestly, I don’t know what everyone else’s problem is, you two were made for each other.”

“Explosives, Tainer,” Anakin warned, “you’re supposed to be setting explosives.”

“I can multitask.”

Anakin turned back to Tahiri and Kell had to chuckle when he told her, “No wonder you’re such a great mother, you spent your pregnancy hanging out with these guys.”

“That’s exactly what she used to tell us. And did you know I offered to babysit on numerous occasions?”

Anakin turned around again and said, “No offense, but you’re the last person I’d leave my son alone with.”

“That’s exactly what she used to say too.”

Kell laughed again as he watched Anakin lean down and kiss Tahiri. “She did not used to say that to me though.”

“Good thing, I’ve got a lightsaber.”

“So does my wife, and I’m afraid of both of you.”

“Then I haven’t been giving you enough credit for brains.”

Kell glanced up to respond to that, but kept his mouth shut when he saw how bright the younger man’s lightsaber was glowing.

“Show time,” Anakin said, then shouted to his brother and sister. “Jaina, Jacen, time to move.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tahiri had only been running for fifteen minutes, but with seventeen Yuuzhan Vong chasing her, it felt like a lot longer. With her wrist com on, she knew that Anakin could hear what was going on. Could hear how hard she was breathing, could hear the war cries coming from the warriors right behind her.

The Yuuzhan Vong seemed to be taking the bait; none of them seemed to be breaking off, which was good. She could sense that they were all following her and Jaina and Jacen back to the bridge. Which was also good. She could also sense that she was getting closer to Anakin, and he had told her, over her wrist com, that the bridge was set, all she and the twins needed to do was get to the other side of the bridge, without losing any of the warriors, and they were home free.

And to think; it was the feral survivors they’d been worried about down here.

They were making their way around a shell of a building, and she knew the bridge was just up ahead, when she felt her danger sense flare up.

She sensed the amphistaff flying before she was even sure that it had left the warrior’s hand. She felt the panic rise up in Anakin before she felt the amphistaff coming toward her or the rush of wind whip past her head. She knew if she went down that it wouldn’t hit her, she could see it in her mind’s eye. She could see it from Anakin’s perspective too, and she ducked and hit the dirt in plenty of time to avoid it, but that meant that she was on the ground, not running.

Not part of the plan.

As Tahiri slid to the earth she whipped both lightsabers from her equipment belt, twisted her body and leaned into her backpack. Coming to a stop she pressed her body as far into her pack as she could, putting as much distance as she could between herself and the warrior standing over her, between herself and the amphistaff coming down in a two-handed cleaving motion. She caught the staff in the cross beams of her sabers, twisting her wrists just enough to hold the staff in place, using the caught staff to hold the warrior up and away from her. She smacked the heels of her boots against the ground, and kicked up into the behemoth’s knees, causing him to cry out in anger and jump back slightly.

She used his surprise to take the offensive; pushing forward with her lightsabers, she cut deep grooves into one of his forearms and through one side of his chest, then brought one knee up and drove it into his groin. When she’d knocked him off balance she rolled to the side, then rammed her lightsaber up under his chest protector and into his ribcage.

Once the warrior had fallen, she had just enough time to look up and see that most of the others had followed Jaina across the bridge before another came at her, too fast for her to get to her feet.

She leaned into the pack on her back again, pushed it into the ground, again to give herself the distance she needed from her opponent to really have room to fight. As she brought her blades up again she heard Anakin screaming for Kell to blow the bridge, then heard the thundering sound of the explosion and the shrieking of durasteel as the walkway fell, and the screams of angry warriors as they went with it.

As far as she could tell, as the warrior above her continued to hammer at her defenses, Jacen and Anakin had both stayed behind, and were now fighting warriors of their own. The one currently above Tahiri simply refused to die, and as Tahiri continued to fight him off, she finally clued into the fact that he knew who she was, that he was screaming at her, at her, telling her that he was going to carry her name to the gods as the abomination of Mezhan Kwaad, that she deserved to die for the shame she and Mezhan Kwaad had brought on Domain Kwaad.

And that made Tahiri angry.

Ignoring her promise to Anakin to not taunt, Tahiri went into full taunting mode, telling him what a coward he was, that there was no honor in attacking a woman, in attacking a defenseless girl, who was on her back no less, then she brought her knees up to her chest, planted her feet against his stomach, pushed him far enough away to bring both her lightsabers up again, scissored her sabers against his throat, and, turning just in time to avoid having his head drop onto her face, decapitated him.

As she rolled over, she saw Jacen on his back, in almost the same position she’d just been in, fighting for his life, and not doing very well.

Tahiri kicked her heels against the ground again, tightened her stomach muscles as hard as she could, bringing her knees up to her chest, aimed one of her lightsaber pommels at the warrior’s throat, then used the Force to propel herself sideways. She hit the warrior in the ribs with the knife in the toe of her boot at the same time she hit the ignition switch on the lightsaber and pierced his neck and she used her body’s momentum to knock the warrior off of Jacen, causing herself to land heavily across her brother-in-law’s chest.

They both let out heavy sighs, Tahiri collapsing across Jacen as they panted in exhaustion.

Moments later Anakin walked over and stood above them.

“If I didn’t know how much you two hated each other I might feel weird about this.”

Tahiri rolled over so she was lying across Jacen’s hips, still panting.

“If I really hated him, I wouldn’t keep saving his life.”

“And if I really hated her, I wouldn’t keep letting her save my life.”

“Then I guess I’m feeling kind of weird about this.”

“If you’re feeling so weird about this, then why don’t you be a good husband and get me off your brother?”

Anakin chuckled and reached a hand down to her.

“You okay?” he asked Jacen.

“Yeah.”

“That’s two you owe her, Junior.”

“Ha, ha.” Then looking at Tahiri, Jacen said, “Thank you.”

Tahiri rested her hands on her knees, panting to catch her breath. “I’m sure you’ll work it off before this trip is over.”

“For your sake, I hope not.”

She shrugged, then straightened and looked out at the expanse that she, Anakin and Jacen needed to get back across to join up with the rest of the team. It wasn’t that far to jump, only about three meters.

Then she took in the carnage around her. There were warrior corpses and body parts lying all over, and she figured more were lying at the bottom of the pit Kell had just created.

Using the Force, she, Jacen and Anakin all three took running jumps and launched themselves off the edge of the old bridge, but again, that sickening feeling she had as she’d rounded the building shell just before the amphistaff had come sailing toward her head was back. She watched Jacen make it across the expanse, then saw Anakin land safely, then turn to face her, then watched his face contort in horror just before she should have felt her own feet hit ground, just as she felt herself stop in mid air.

With Anakin using the Force to pull her further over the expanse, she just caught a hold of a piece of metal sticking out from what was left of the walkway Kell had blown, and, hanging off the pack on her back, was a warrior, easily three times her mass.

Anakin was above her, less than a meter above her, screaming her name again and reaching down trying to grab a hold of her, and for an absurd second Tahiri had a flash to that long ago day on Tatooine when she’d fallen into the Sarlacc pit and Anakin had reached down and tried to pull her up.

The warrior was swinging and pulling on her, though she couldn’t tell if he was trying to climb her, or pull her down with him. All she knew was that she had to get up, had to get to Anakin, had to survive, had to get home to her son. She pulled as hard as she could to lift herself, called on the Force to give herself the strength to lift herself higher, but was just that much too far to reach all the arms trying to grasp her hands. Her feet were turned the wrong way to use the knives in her toes to kick at the warrior and she couldn’t reach down to the blaster strapped to her thigh to shoot him without letting go of the metal strut she was hanging onto. Then Luke lit his lightsaber and slashed at the straps of her backpack.

“No!” She screamed. “Luke, no!” but he didn’t listen, he cut the straps, and suddenly a tremendous weight was lifted from her shoulders, and Jacen and Anakin were pulling her up because the pack was gone, and so was the warrior, and so were all the cookies.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Luke was confused.

He knew that he’d done the right thing.

He’d cut the straps on Tahiri’s pack and gotten the warrior off her back and that had enabled Jacen and Anakin to pull her up to safety.

He’d saved her life.

That was the right thing to do.

He knew that Anakin was happy that he had done that.

He knew he’d done the right thing.

What he did not understand was why Tahiri had slapped Anakin after he said they were just cookies, or what the cookies were even for. He also did not understand why she had then started weeping or why she had marched off into the middle of the field away from the rest of the group or why Anakin was stripping off his own pack and all of his weapons and muttering and telling her to stop yelling at him, which apparently she was doing, through the Force.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming. I hate it when she does that.”

“Does what?” Kell asked.

“Yells at me in my head.” Anakin then turned to Jacen and said, “If you ever find yourself attracted to a woman who is not Force sensitive, you might want to jump on that.”

When Anakin had finally finished stripping off anything that Luke supposed Tahiri might be able to use as a weapon against his nephew, he marched off to join her in the field. Even from this distance, Luke could tell they were having a spectacular fight; meanwhile, Jaina shed some light on the subject.

“Okay, Mom swore me to secrecy, and I don’t know much, but here’s what I do know: Anakin hasn’t completely healed from Myrkr and he needs the cookies, they’re actually medical wafers of some sort, and they keep his blood sugar regulated, among other things. He also needs them because the rations bars that we eat don’t give him enough calories. So he needs the cookies to keep his strength up. But I think it’s more than that. I don’t think Tahiri told Mom the whole story. I think it’s actually more serious than even Mom knew, and I think Tahiri’s freaked because she had most of the cookies in her pack.”

“And the ones she’s been shoving down his throat for the last two days have been coming from his pack,” Mara sighed.

“Exactly. I think she transferred some over this morning before we started walking again, but when we walk she pulls cookies from his pack. I guess it’s easier than digging into her own,” Jaina said.

“Wait. Mom gave me some,” Jacen said, as he opened his pack and dug around. “She said not to ask questions, just to give them to Tahiri if anything came up.”

Luke opened his pack, and Mara opened hers. “Leia gave some to us as well.”

“But even with all the ones we have, it probably still isn’t enough, or not enough to satisfy Tahiri. I’m getting the impression that she’s sort of fanatical about it. And I can’t say that I blame her. She’s already lost him once. And who knows what the actual battle at the Citadel will do to him,” Jaina sighed.

Luke looked back over, and was surprised to see that Tahiri was no longer yelling, but had collapsed against Anakin, convulsing with sobs while he held her tightly to him, stroking her back and her head, and realized that all these years he’d been continually underestimating Anakin’s and Tahiri’s feelings for one another, and wondered how he had managed to do so; how he had managed to be so blind to what they truly meant to each other even after all that they had been through together.

“So, what do we do?” Jacen finally asked.

“I think,” Luke said, “We wait for Tahiri to calm down, tell them that we have more cookies, and then we keep going. It’s really all we can do. As much as I’d like to respect Anakin’s desire to keep this private, we can’t allow it to interfere with the mission.”

“And here we were concerned with Jacen and Anakin having a fight,” Mara mused. “Never crossed my mind that it would be Tahiri and Anakin we’d have to worry about.”

“Okay,” Face said, “Kell and I have cookies too, Bram told us not to open the package unless Anakin was in trouble. And here they come. We’ll tell them we have more cookies and see what they want to do.”

They all nodded in agreement and watched the two approach, Luke feeling nothing but sympathy when he saw how swollen Tahiri’s eyes were from crying.

“Sorry about that,” Anakin began, as soon as they rejoined the group. “I guess we owe you guys an explanation.”

Luke was surprised to hear his nephew coming right out with it.

“Tahiri had medical wafers in her pack, wafers that I need because of what happened to my body on Myrkr. She’s concerned that the mission might be too strenuous and that I’ll need those wafers.”

“Actually,” Luke cut in, “Your mom and Bram thought you may need more, so they gave us all some packets…”

Luke’s explanation was cut short when Tahiri burst into tears again.

“See, my love, it’s all going to be okay.”

Tahiri nodded, then said, “But you promised.”

“I know. I’m still going to do it.” Then he turned back to the group. “I’m going to do a healing trance. Tahiri will levitate me, and we’ll need a couple of you to pull me along. I know it’s going to be a drag, no pun intended, but it’s the only way to put Tahiri’s mind at ease. If we run into trouble say ‘twenty-one’ and I’ll come right up and be ready to go. If we don’t run into trouble, I’ll come up when we stop for tonight and I’ll take my turn on patrol, if everyone is okay with this.”

Everyone nodded and Tahiri visibly relaxed, then sat down on the nearest rock to catch her breath. When she’d finally calmed down she looked around and asked, “How many cookies did they give you all?”

Everyone went through their packs and dumped out their supplies.

Tahiri did a quick glance and nodded. “Not as many as I lost, but with the healing trance, that should get us through the final day. And we’ll just have to guess where your blood sugar is at since we lost the testing kit.”

Jaina held up a small device from her pack. “Is that what this is?”

Tahiri gasped. “Where did you get that?”

Jaina shrugged. “Mom. She didn’t tell me what it was, she just said to give it to you if Anakin needed it. She said you’d know what to do with it and to give it to you if there was an emergency.”

Tahiri sniffed, and nodded her head, then whispered, “Thanks, Jaina.” And then began to cry again when Jaina moved to sit beside her and wrapped her arms around her.

“Hey, that’s what big sisters are for. I know you’ve never had one, but you need to get used to it.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 24
Tell Me Something Good
Part 1

30 ABY
Occupied Coruscant/Yuuzhan’tar
2.5 years after the ‘Fall of Coruscant’

Anakin was feeling much better.

Seven hours in a healing trance had made a huge difference. Knowing that Tahiri was doing a trance of her own added to his peace of mind.

She’d been exhausted when they’d stopped to make camp, and Anakin had hated seeing her so worn out, but all he’d been able to do was cradle her, help her into her own trance, and leave her to rest while he took his turn on patrol.

He was more than physically ready for this, he was mentally and emotionally ready. He’d been waiting a long time for the conversation that was about to take place.

He casually flipped one of his lightsabers up in the air, caught it, then flipped it again as he and Luke walked the perimeter of the camp. After a few minutes, the silence finally got the best of him.

“So Uncle Luke… what do you want to bet there will be a group of very curious little Jedi pretending to sleep but really using their Force enhanced listening skills for the next couple of hours?”

“Why would you think that?”

Anakin rolled his eyes. “Luke… come on.”

“What?”

Even in the dark, Anakin had no trouble imagining his uncle’s earnest expression.

“This is the first time you and I will be talking alone in three years,” Anakin said, “you don’t think the others are going to be curious about what we have to say to one another?”

“I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Okay, maybe you’re right.”

“Maybe?” Anakin fought to keep the incredulity from his voice, and almost gave up, wondering if his hopes of having a genuine heart to heart talk with his uncle were in vain.

“Okay, you’re right.”

Finally, Anakin thought, but said, “So, what do you want to start with?”

“What do you want to start with?”

“I’m okay with whatever you want to start with. We’ve got a lot to cover.”

“True,” Luke admitted. “I suppose we could start with whether you have any desire to come back to the Order.”

That, Anakin thought, was as good a place as any. “Do you want me to come back to the Order?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then how come you’ve never asked?”

“Because I didn’t think you wanted to.”

“Fair enough.”

“Do you want to come back?”

“No.”

Luke sighed heavily. “Well, that’s topic number one down.”

“That’s it?”

“I don’t see that my begging will help.”

“Really? You’re usually pretty relentless in your recruiting methods. I’m not sure whether to be relieved that you’re letting me off so easily or insulted that you’re letting me off so easily.”

“Well, for one, this isn’t an average ‘recruiting’ issue, and two, I don’t think it will get us anywhere, so what’s the point? But I reserve the right to go back to that one later.”

Anakin chuckled, but then grew serious. “Alright, why don’t we skip to your convoluted, and grossly misguided asking for Tahiri to join you in the ground assault, and for me to fly cover for the Falcon.”

Anakin could almost feel Luke’s grimace as he said, “Probably not the best way to go about that.”

“Not one of your more shining moments.”

“No, and I’m sorry for that. Believe it or not, I wasn’t trying to be underhanded. I was actually trying to prevent a difficult situation from blowing up.”

“And in the process blew it up.”

“Yeah. But was there a way it could have been avoided?”

“I don’t know... maybe if Jacen hadn’t been in the room, it wouldn’t have blown up quite so big.”

“Well, Jacen isn’t a father, but that was sort of a separate matter.”

“Alright, I’ll give you that one.” Anakin conceded.

“And once we all sat him down and walked him through it, I think he saw just how reprehensible his suggestion was, though I doubt he’ll really fully understand until he has a child of his own. But back to the issue at hand; how could I have handled that better?”

“You could have come right out and said that you needed Tahiri, and that Jacen and I needed to address our issues so that they wouldn’t interfere with the mission. Maybe that way we might have been able to do just that, but the way you handled it was kriffed.”

Luke sighed. “You’re right, it was. But to be honest, I didn’t think of doing it that way because I don’t know how to talk to you anymore.”

“Why, because I’m not in the Order? Because I’m no longer an apprentice that you can issue orders to? Or because you think that I don’t respect the Order’s way of doing things?”

“All of the above? Or, more because I feel you don’t respect me.”

“Why would you think that?”

Luke was silent for a long moment, then he stopped walking and turned to Anakin and said, “Your behavior since you’ve been back from Myrkr, or rather, your lack of communication. And because I don’t know you anymore.”

“I’m still me, I’m still your nephew, and the lack of communication goes both ways. Frankly, I’m a little tired of taking all the blame for the fact that I haven’t spoken to anyone in the family. You’ve all known how to find me for the past year. You could have contacted me at any time.”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to.”

“I know I was angry when I asked you all to leave the med frigate, but again, you’ve known where I was, you could have reached out.”

“You’re right, and that is my fault. But aside from that, you’ve changed, you’re older, and you’ve been through things that I don’t know about, you’ve grown and I don’t know the person you’ve grown into.”

“Luke, all my education, all my training came from you and my instructors at the academy, just like Jacen and Jaina. We all had all the same lessons, a lot of them learned at your knee. The only two significant differences between my learning and theirs are that I spent those weeks on Dantooine with Mara and I spent time on Myrkr and they didn’t.”

“But that’s just it; none of the rest of us went through what you went through on Myrkr, and regardless of what you say, that had to have changed you. I know it has. Plus, you’re a husband and a father now, and I know, from my own experience, that that changes a man, it realigns your priorities, how you view the galaxy. It changes how you make your decisions. You can’t deny that you make decisions differently now that you have Tahiri and Will to think about.”

Anakin shrugged as he considered Luke’s words then began to walk again. “I’m not sure. I think I still make my choices for the same reasons, but if you do think I’m different, and you want to get to know me again, all you have to do is ask. Like I said, you’ve known where to find me. All you had to do was fly over to the Lusankya and strike up a conversation.”

“I’m asking now. Tell me what happened to you on Myrkr.”

Anakin shrugged again and took a deep breath, wondering how to start, then began. “I’m not sure I came back someone different, I don’t know, maybe you’re right, maybe I did. Or, maybe, I just came back more of who I already was.”

“In what way?”

“You’ve been around ysalamiri, you know what it’s like to not be able to touch the Force.”

“Yeah, I have, it’s not pleasant.”

“Well imagine that for over a year.”

“I’m not sure that I can.”

“It was like waking up blind. And not only did I spend everyday on Myrkr trying to not die, but I spent everyday trying to not die without senses that I’ve spent my life taking for granted. Even when I’d been around ysalamiri before, it had only been for a few hours at most. But all those months… no telekinesis, no telepathy, no extrasensory perception. And when I got back, even though I could touch the Force again, my senses were so shot; I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was like being a candidate all over again. Worse. It was beyond frustrating. I could barely handle a lightsaber. And as if all of that wasn’t bad enough, I was alone on Mrykr, no one to talk to.”

Anakin held the lightsaber he’d been casually flipping up in the air and lifted it in his hand, as though feeling its weight, then continued talking.

“When Mara and I were on Dantooine she told me that I used the Force as a tool, like a hydrospanner, Corran told me the same thing on Yag’dhul, and they were both right. And the truth is I still use the Force that way, Myrkr didn’t change that - if anything my experience has made me rely on the Force more than I used to, but now I’m aware of why I do it; it makes life easier. And maybe that’s what I mean when I say I didn’t come back any different. I can do things that most people can’t. I’m faster, I’m stronger, my reflexes are quicker. I sense things others can’t. These are gifts. The difference between now and before Myrkr is that if I did take these things for granted before, I don’t now.”

“I can understand that. Before Mara and I were married she accused me of doing the same thing, relying too heavily on the Force, using it as a tool. She also accused me of taking on too much responsibility for those around me.”

“I think she has always seen a lot of similarities between us. And I think she’s always been quick to try to stop me from making what she thought were your mistakes.”

“I think you may be right.”

“The thing is, I don’t think the things she’s tried to warn me against were necessarily mistakes on your part, or at least I wasn’t making them to the degree that you did because I was never in the position of power that you were in.”

“But she’s always thought that one day you might be.”

“Yeah, her and a lot of other people, and it’s never a belief I’ve encouraged or wanted any part in. And to be honest, it’s one of the reasons I’ve been okay with not being a part of the Order since I’ve been back.”

“Because you don’t want that responsibility?”

“Because I don’t want people looking up to me before I’m worth looking up to. Because I’m not worthy of wearing that mantle.”

“Speaking from experience, again, it’s a heavy burden.”

“One I don’t look forward to carrying, ever, but especially at twenty-one.” Switching gears, Anakin asked, “Have you ever asked yourself why you were born with the ability to touch the Force? Why our family and not someone else’s? Why the Skywalkers and not the Antilles? And why all of us? Why didn’t Jaina take after Dad? Why were all three of Han and Leia’s kids born with this ability as opposed to only one or two of us?”

“I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”

“The expectation was that not only would all of us be Force-sensitive, but that we’d all be exceptionally strong. You and Mom started reaching out to all three of us from almost the moment we were conceived.”

“I suppose that was a lot of pressure to place on the three of you.”

“Yes, more expectations, but from a certain point of view it was understandable. We were Darth Vader’s grandchildren, Luke Skywalker’s niece and nephews, and yet neither you or Mom knew you were Force-sensitive until you were adults.”

“True, it wasn’t until Obi-Wan turned up in my life that I even knew about the Force, let alone knew I could touch it, and not until he and Yoda told me about your mother that we had any idea that she might be able to.”

“Exactly. And yet it never crossed anyone’s minds that Jaina, Jacen or I wouldn’t be Force-sensitive.”

“No, I guess it didn’t.”

“Now, did you ever expect to have the same relationship with Jaina that you have with Jacen?”

“No.”

“Why not.”

“Because they’re different people.”

“Exactly, just like Dad’s relationships with Jaina, Jacen and me are all different because we are all different people. He can’t have the same relationship with me that he has with Jacen because Jacen and I are two different people. There was never any expectation that Dad would have the same relationship with all of us because we’re all different. None of us in the family has a ‘wrong’ relationship with each other; just different.”

“So what you’re saying is that just like we assumed that you’d all be powerful Force-sensitive, we assumed that you’d all have the same relationship with the Force?”

“Precisely. And you’re wrong. Every one of us has a different relationship with the Force, just like everyone one of us has a different relationship with each other. Jacen and I can’t have the same relationship with the Force because Jacen and I are two very different people.”

“And this is what you learned on Myrkr?”

“No, what I learned on Myrkr is that it’s possible for me to survive without the Force, but that having the Force makes my life easier, just like it’s possible for me to micro adjust repulsor pads with a number three hydrospanner, but it’s a hell of a lot easier if I have a number two, so why would I even consider using a number three if I didn’t have to?”

“So what you learned on Myrkr is that the Force is nothing but a hydrospanner?”

“Of course not, I’m not that simple-minded. The Force is infinitely more than a tool. But part of my experience on Myrkr reinforced my view that the Force can be used as a tool.”

“And you don’t see the moral obligation in questioning motives or using the Force as a guide?”

“Absolutely, in fact I’ve done a lot of using the Force as a guide since I’ve been back from Myrkr, more than I ever have before, but I’ve tried to find a balance, I’ve tried to not let that stand in the way of what I see as my moral obligation to protect people.”

“Don’t you think that’s what I’m doing? What your brother is doing?”

“Honestly? I wonder sometimes. You and Jacen seriously debated whether or not we should have gone on the voxyn mission. Jedi were dying. We could have all died. Your wife and your son were at risk. How did you not think that that mission needed to be undertaken?”

“I never said the mission didn’t need to be undertaken, I simply thought that the risks needed to be weighed and considered.”

“So did I, it just took me considerably less time to weigh them. And again, my frustration with Jacen, with both of you, stems from the fact that everyone wants me to behave like him, have the same relationship with the Force that he has. No one wants him to have the same relationship with the Force that I have. Why is that?”

“I don’t know.”

“If Jacen behaved the same way I did, if he went into every situation swinging his lightsaber first and asking questions later, as everyone accuses me of doing, he wouldn’t be Jacen. If I sat and contemplated every situation instead of following my instincts Tahiri would be a Yuuzhan Vong, and the academy kids would have been handed over to the Vong instead of hidden in the caves below the Great Temple until Karrde’s people had gotten to them. The Voxyn would have hunted us until we were all gone. I had nothing to do on Myrkr for fourteen months but walk, think, and not die and I spent a lot of time thinking about how all of us have a different relationship with the Force, and the fact that that is okay. We are all different, all of our instincts are different, the Force needs different things from all of us. My way of doing things may not be right for Jacen, but they’re right for me, and I take responsibility for my actions, whether they work or not. I’ve never asked that Jacen follow my path, why does everyone want me to follow his? Do you think the Force wants us all to follow the same path? Would all of us acting exactly the same way serve the Force?”

“I guess I’ve never really looked at it that way. I’ve never looked at it from the Force’s point of view, and as far as you and your brother, we’ve spent so many years trying to peel you two off of each other, and explaining you two to each other…”

“I’ve heard earfuls from you and Mara and my parents explaining him to me, telling me to be patient, telling me to be understanding, and I’ve heard him telling me how wrong I am. But have you ever explained me to him? Or did you just accept him and continue scolding me?”

“To be honest, now that you mention, I don’t know how much time we’ve actually spent explaining you to him.”

“I’d wager not much,” Anakin sighed, “given that none of you seem to get me either.”

“Okay, last topic.”

“The Force is telling me this one is big.”

“Tahiri.”

“Ahhhh… as though I’d read your mind.”

“Is that what drove you to Tahiri?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is that why you got married so young? Because she understood you and accepted you in a way that your family didn’t?”

“We got married because we love each other.”

“But why so young? You said yourselves, you waited to do anything too serious, so it wasn’t because you were already sleeping together. And she wasn’t pregnant yet when you got married.”

“I know we joke about it, but we actually do more than have sex.”

“Thank you for clarifying that. But I’m asking why you didn’t wait, did we drive you away? Did you feel the need to start your own family because you didn’t feel accepted by our family, and Tahiri always accepted you as you were?”

“It felt right. I knew that she and I were supposed to be together.”

“So it wasn’t that we pushed you away?”

“One has nothing to do with the other. I loved her; I married her. It would have happened eventually, regardless of what was going on with the family. We were already planning an actual wedding, Forty-two notwithstanding. The only reason you guys found out was because she got pregnant. If it hadn’t been for Will, you guys still wouldn’t know we were married, and we wouldn’t be living our lives any differently, frankly.”

“Except that she would have gone to Myrkr.”

Anakin smiled. “Well, yeah, there is that.”

“Okay…” Luke sighed,

“I knew it, last topic, but you have fifty questions on this one.”

“At least fifty. Is she ever going to forgive me for the Maw?”

“Ah… the Maw. Another huge issue.”

“It’s almost like you’re channeling Jacen.”

“Don’t tell Tahiri, when I start trying to be funny and fail, she thinks I’m tired and she freaks out and wants me to do a healing trance or starts trying to shove cookies down my throat. If I tell one bad joke, she wants to rush me to the med center.”

“Good thing she’s not married to Jacen, she’d have him on life support.”

“Wow… that may be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Now why don’t I ever get credit for humor? Mara always gets the credit for being the funny one in our marriage.”

“That’s because she’s so scary that no one expects her to be funny.”

“Is she really that scary?”

“Luke… c’mon... the woman killed for Palpatine. I mean, the only two people in the galaxy scarier than her were the Emperor and Grandpa.”

“‘Grandpa’. It’s so weird to hear you call him that. Especially when you say it to Tahiri.”

Anakin laughed. “I wish I had a holo of the look on Mom’s face that first night you guys were on the Lusankya and Tahiri said to call her ‘grandpa’ again. Priceless.”

“I thought your mother was going to explode.”

“Serves her right for naming me ‘Anakin’.”

“Anyway, back to the Maw.”

“The Maw.” Anakin sighed. “Tahiri has a large gaping hole in her heart that was created that day Tryst and Cassa were killed. Sliven didn’t know how to begin to fill it. No matter how much I love her, I’ll never be able to fill it. Will has filled a piece of it. That’s why she’s so desperate to have more children, because she needs that hole filled, but we’ve made a conscious decision to wait until the war is over to have more kids. The day the peace treaty is signed, we’ll be spending that day trying to get pregnant again.”

“That may be more information than I needed.”

“Like the whole galaxy doesn’t know what we’re doing when we’re off duty and Will’s asleep.”

“So that really is all you do?”

“We take breaks to eat and shower. Though showering usually leads right back to where we started.”

“Thanks for that insight.”

“When are people going to learn to stop asking?”

“The Maw?”

“The Maw. Tahiri has spent her life lacking people who love her, truly, deeply love her. It’s only been in the last couple of years, with me and Will, and the Holds, Valin, and Paloma, and, believe it or not, the Commandos, that she’s begun to know unconditional love. Given Mara’s background, being an orphan herself, you have to know what I'm talking about.”

Luke nodded in agreement.

“As obvious as it may seem to me, or Mom and Mara, Tahiri hasn’t the faintest idea how deeply you care for her. None whatsoever. And unfortunately, your trying to send her to the Maw only made that situation worse. She’s convinced that you tried to do that because you didn’t care, not that you tried to send her away to keep her safe. She may never get over you doing that, and that may forever color her belief that you do care.”

“So, the only hope I have of ever gaining her trust again is to talk and listen and put in time?”

“Pretty much. And good luck with that. Her head’s thicker than Dad’s. Also, you should know, the likelihood of her ever rejoining the Order may be slim, whether I do or not.”

“Why is that? I sort of figured you two were a package deal.”

“Not on this. And it’s actually not because of the Maw. She didn’t resign because she was angry at you or to prove a point. She resigned because of Will.”

“What do you mean?”

“She knew that if she stayed in the Order she’d eventually have to leave Will to go back out and fight and that there was a higher than average chance that she’d die and that Will would be an orphan; she didn’t want that for him. Joining Intel and staying on the Lusankya enabled her to contribute to the war effort and support herself and Will, keep him with her, and at the same time keep them relatively safe. She thought she was going to be raising him alone. Even when I came back, she assumed in the beginning that I would eventually join up with the Jedi, and that the chances of something else happening to me would be high. She told me that I was free to make whatever choice I wanted but that she would be staying with Intel and Will would be staying with her.”

“So that’s why you don’t want to come back?”

“Partially, and partially, as I said, I don’t want the responsibility that goes with other people’s expectations of thinking I’m going to be the next Luke Skywalker. And partially because I really enjoy what I’m doing. We’ll see how I feel when the war is over. I may get bored in a year and decide that I miss swinging a lightsaber first and asking questions later.”

“Cute.”

“Next?”

“Tahiri’s cookies.”

“I would have thought that would have been higher on the list.”

“What are they for?”

“Tahiri didn’t tell you?”

“No. Jaina told us a little bit while you and Tahiri were having your little talk in the field. She said you needed them because your body hasn’t recovered from what happened on Myrkr.”

“Well, she had the gist of it right.”

“But Tahiri didn’t say anything while you were in the trance and I got the feeling there was something else. The way Tahiri reacted when her pack fell and we weren’t able to get it back… the look on her face when you said they were just cookies and that you’d be fine.”

Anakin smiled ruefully. “You don’t miss much.”

“She also slapped you pretty hard. I’d have to have been a spiced up Hutt to have missed that.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“The Force showed you something.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Like I said, the look on Tahiri’s face. I’ve known her since she was little. I’ve seen her scared before, and Anakin, she wasn’t just scared, she was terrified. The Force showed you something.”

“From a certain point of view.”

“I hate it when my platitudes are thrown back in my face.”

“Probably almost as much as I hate your platitudes.”

“Fair enough. What did the Force show you?”

“That it’s always in motion?”

“Anakin…”

“What might have happened on Myrkr. But it didn’t.”

“What did that have to do with today?”

“Something that I said reminded Tahiri of what I was shown and it scared her.”

“What you were shown must have been pretty clear to have caused her to react like that.”

“It was, but it didn’t happen, and it didn’t happen today either, so it’s fine.”

“How many times am I going to have to ask you to tell me what you saw?”

“You might as well stop because I’m not going to tell you.”

“What?” Luke asked, clearly stunned by Anakin’s refusal to answer him.

“I hope you take this with the respect that it’s intended, but I’m not going to tell you, so you need to stop asking me.”

Luke continued to look at him in shock.

“Look, you may find this hard to believe, but I’ve spent years thinking about this, years meditating on this, this is part of what I thought about on Myrkr, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best that I not share this. Remember what I just said about using the Force as a guide? I have not made this decision lightly. In fact, there haven’t been many decisions in my life that I have made lightly. Yavin, not made lightly. Yag’Dhul, getting married, not made lightly. Going on the voxyn mission, staying on the Lusankya, coming here, Sernpidal; not a single one of those decisions have I made lightly. And contrary to what I’m sure most people believe, there isn’t a single one of those choices that I would change because as hard as all those choices were, as bad as some of the outcomes were, I know I made those choices for the right reasons. And now, making the choice to not tell you what the Force showed me before Myrkr, I know I’m making for the right reason because I’ve been asking the Force and the Force has been very clear. I know in my heart that the Force does not want me sharing this right now.”

“But Tahiri knows?”

Anakin stopped short and stared as his uncle. “Are you kidding me?”

“What? That doesn’t seem like a valid question?”

“Are you jealous that my wife knows and you don’t? Or are you jealous that a Jedi Academy dropout knows and the Grandmaster of the Order doesn’t?”

Luke opened his mouth to say something, but Anakin cut him off.

“Look, I’m going to assume, for the sake of argument, that your marriage works like mine does; that Mara is your best friend and closest confidante, that you tell your wife things that you wouldn’t tell another soul, that you confide your deepest, darkest secrets and fears in her. That she knows you better than you know yourself. And that for that very reason she can call you on your crap in a way no other being can, and for that very reason you trust her to keep you honest in a way that no one else can. Does your marriage work that way?”

Luke sighed. “Basically.”

“You want to ask me again if Tahiri knows?”

“I guess the better question would be if she’d figured it all out before you had?”

“Yes, and yes.”

“She always was a sharp girl.”

“Yes again, and for your information, her final opinion was that she trusted me to make the best choice and that she would support whatever I wanted to do.”

Luke chuckled. “And if she’s anything like my wife, she informed you of what the best choice was.”

“Exactly. See, we’re practically married to the same woman.”

“You know, in some ways, they really are a lot alike.”

“In some ways all the women in this family are a lot alike, in that they’re headstrong and don’t like to be told what to do and have no problem putting us in our place. Clearly we’re all attracted to a certain type. Which is sort of ironic. Really makes me wonder what your mother was like.”

“Yeah, I’ve wondered that for years.”

“I mean, imagine, a woman like my mother, little, and all bossy, married to the man who became Darth Vader. Would have been something to see.”

“Your mom, your sister, Mara, and Tahiri all rolled into one?”

“Spooky. Speaking of my sister, there’s a rumor going around that she had to be pulled off of Jacen after the ‘Big Breakfast’.”

Luke grimaced before saying, “We were trying to keep that quiet.”

“I guess Jag didn’t get the memo.”

“Figures he’d be the one to spill the story.”

“I think he’s developed a whole new appreciation for his girlfriend.”

“Good, he’ll never survive as a man in this family otherwise.”

As they neared the camp again, came within a few meters, Anakin stopped walking and put his hand on Luke’s arm to hold him in place. When he had his uncle’s full attention he looked into his eyes and said; “Luke, there is one thing that I will tell you; The Potentium is crap. There is a dark side. Respect it, fear it, never forget that it is real. For Ben’s sake, for Mara’s sake, for Tahiri’s and Jaina’s. Be vigilant. Do not ever let your guard down.”

Luke gave him a solemn look, but didn’t say anything.

Anakin nodded over towards where Jaina and Jacen were sleeping. “You want to wake them up for their turn, or do you want me to?”

Luke continued to look at Anakin for a moment, and Anakin knew, could tell by his uncle’s expression that he was taking everything that Anakin had just said in, was taking it seriously, and for that Anakin was glad. Then Luke let out a breath and said, “I’ll do it, you go rest.”

“Okay.” Anakin nodded, “I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 24,
Tell Me Something Good
Part 2

30 ABY
Occupied Coruscant/Yuuzhan’tar
2.5 years after the ‘Fall of Coruscant’

Anakin had been right when he’d said that there would be curious Jedi listening to his conversation with Luke. Unfortunately, they’d walked far enough away during their patrol that Jacen hadn’t been able to hear most of that conversation. He had heard the tail end of it though, and had been surprised by both what his little brother had said, and by the conviction with which he’d said it.

He’d never have thought Anakin would have been so convinced that the Dark Side was something to fear. Jacen had also found it curious that Anakin hadn’t mentioned him or Will when he’d warned Luke about the Dark Side. He’d mentioned Ben and Mara, and Tahiri and Jaina, but not Jacen or Will.

Jacen sat up as Luke approached, “Hey, everything was quiet I assume?”

Luke nodded. “Yeah, should be for you and Jaina as well.”

Jacen unzipped his sleeping bag and reached for his boots. “Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll get Jaina up.”

“Okay. If we’re not all awake in two hours get us up. We should head out about 0700.”

Jacen nodded and watched as Luke headed over to Mara, waited until his uncle had settled in and then reached out with the Force to make sure Luke was asleep. It didn’t take long. Luke was famous within the family for being able to go from wide awake to out cold in under three minutes.

Next he felt for Jaina. When he was sure she was still sleeping he reached for Anakin.

His brother was doing another healing trance, oblivious to all around him.

Confident that the coast was clear and that he wasn’t going to get caught, Jacen stood up and made his way over to Anakin and Tahiri, then bent down and placed his hand on Tahiri’s shoulder and whispered, “Forty-two.”

Tahiri’s eyes shot open instantly and she was sitting up with a lightsaber in her hand a second later, her other hand braced on Jacen’s chest, a quizzical look in her eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s our turn to patrol.”

“I thought Jaina was going out with you.”

There was no question that Tahiri was suspicious, and Jacen knew that shielding his intentions was probably pointless, but he stuck to the lie he’d planned on using anyway and hoped she’d go along with it.

“She patrolled earlier with Mara - they decided to give you longer to rest, so it’s you and me now.”

He held her gaze, and was relieved when she just nodded, though he could tell that she didn’t believe him.

Tahiri turned toward Anakin, brushed his hair off his forehead, leaned down and kissed him, then reached for her boots and pulled them on before standing up. She grabbed her equipment belt from the pile of weapons at the foot of her and Anakin’s bed, and was fastening it on as she headed off away from the camp ahead of Jacen.

They’d been walking quietly for a good ten minutes and Jacen was a little surprised that she’d remained so, given her reputation for talking, when she finally spoke.

“How about we end this awkward silence and, while we’re at it, forego any crap. You obviously have something to say to me given the fact that you lied to get me alone, so how about you spit it out before I die of curiosity.”

“You don’t mince words do you?”

“I try not to. It’s a waste of time.”

“Right. So, uhm… this morning…”

“What about it?”

“I owe you a thank you.”

Tahiri shrugged. “You don’t owe me anything, contrary to what Anakin says.”

“Well, I feel like I do, whether he says so or not.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried about it.”

“You would have done the same thing. Or not.”

“Well, yeah, I guess, but I wanted to thank you anyway.”

“Forget it.”

“You saved my life. Not something to just forget. And, as Anakin pointed out; it wasn’t the first time.”

“Whatever. You thanked me earlier. You didn’t need to lie to get me alone so you could thank me again.”

“Actually, that wasn’t all I wanted to do.”

Tahiri whipped around and had the emitter of her lightsaber in Jacen’s face instantly and growled, “I can take you.”

Jacen’s mouth fell open as he stared down at his sister-in-law before batting her hand away and saying, “You and my brother are a match made in Hell. It’s just Kriff and Combat with you two, isn’t it? Do you duel to decide who’s going to change Will’s diapers?”

Tahiri punched Jacen lightly in the stomach. “Sorry for misunderstanding. What precisely did you drag me out here to do?”

“Forgive me, I worded that badly. I wanted to talk to you about Hapes.”

“I’d rather duel.”

“How surprising.”

“Maybe it’s best to leave the past in the past.”

“I think that would be a mistake.”

“Fine, you dragged me out here in the middle of the night to say what?”

Jacen ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. “I haven’t liked you for a long time.”

Tahiri rolled her eyes and turned to begin walking again. “Yeah, you’re right, dredging it up and reminding me that you hate me would be so much more fun.”

“That isn’t what I wanted to do either.”

“Well starting off by reminding me that you don’t like me is a little misleading then. And by the way, I haven’t liked you either.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“So now that we’ve reestablished that we don’t like each other, can we drop it?”

“No, and if you’d keep your mouth shut for like three minutes while I get out what I want to say you’ll see that I actually have a point to make.”

“Other than the fact that you hate me?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. You have three minutes.”

“Thank you. And just for the record, I haven’t given Anakin enough credit for patience.”

“Two minutes. I can’t wait to see the look on your brother’s face when he finds out you lied to get me alone so you could tell me you hate me.”

“That’s mature.”

“I’m not the one who lied so I could tell you I don’t like you.”

“I didn’t lie to tell you that. I lied to thank you and to tell you why I don’t like you.”

“That’s… weird.”

“You said you’d keep your mouth shut.”

“Fine. Talk.”

“Fine. I’m talking. I didn’t like you because you pulled Anakin away from us.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Tahiri…”

“Fine, but do you think you can walk and talk at the same time, we are supposed to be patrolling.”

Jacen stifled the urge to smack her upside the head, then began walking, and when she stepped up beside him to follow suit he began again.

“I thought you pulled him away from us. I saw the pull you had on him and I could see that there would come a day when he would be all yours, he wouldn’t be ours anymore, and I didn’t like that. And I’ve spent years disliking you for that, and frankly, you made it easy to not like you, you sort of played into that really well. But I realize now that you didn’t start it, it started with Sernpidal.”

Jacen stopped talking and looked at Tahiri, and saw that he finally really had her attention, saw that she was finally really listening; so he kept going, both walking and talking again, with her keeping step beside him.

“We lost Anakin at Sernpidal. What you did was hold Anakin together. I mean, he held himself together for a while, long enough for me to be able to ignore that Sernpidal was what really caused us to lose him, or was the beginning of us losing him. Centerpoint was part of it too. But even after that, he still held himself together. Then you gave him what he needed to build himself back up, to be able to put Sernpidal and Centerpoint behind him, or, as much as anyone can put things like that behind them. But I didn’t realize until just recently that that’s what happened. So when we got to Hapes, I already had issues with you because I saw you as the one who had robbed me of that last year with my brother.”

Tahiri stared at Jacen as they walked, and he could tell that she was dumbfounded.

“I knew what was going on between you and Anakin on the Venture, and some of the others figured it out on Eclipse, the younger Jedi, well, some of it. In fact we ran interference for you a few times. We figured nothing good would come of Kam or Corran walking in on you in the kitchen… or in a service elevator… or a maintenance closet… or an air duct off of the main meeting room… we should have let you get caught that time, you were just asking for it.”

If the crux of what Jacen was trying to get out wasn’t so serious, he might have felt sorry for Tahiri, or might have laughed as her embarrassment raged in the Force and she stopped walking to drop her face into her hands.

“Oh my stars…”

“Yeah, well… what else were we going to do? And Zekk and Ganner were having fun running bets on how far you two were actually going. I was the only one who realized you were having sex in the air duct, though how you managed it I’m not sure I want to know and I didn’t see any reason for my brother to get busted. Anyway, I had no idea that you actually considered yourselves married. I knew that you were in a serious relationship, but I hoped it would eventually fizzle out. I prayed it would because I hated you so much. And a part of me was glad that he wasn’t going to be around to be with you and Will, because I knew that we would never stand a chance of getting him back if we were competing against you and his baby. And then I felt guilty for that, which just fueled my anger at you.

“But I’ve realized that we aren’t kids anymore, we’re adults, and we all have our own lives to live and the only thing that my anger over not having my brother in my life has done is drive him farther away.”

Tahiri shook her head in disgust. “It’s taken you all these years to figure that out?”

“Well, in my defense, I’m sort of working with a handicap here; I grew up in a weird family.”

“You’ll get no argument from me there.”

Jacen forgot his own argument for a minute and asked, “What do you mean?”

“Anakin wasn’t exaggerating when he said that it took him months to convince me to marry him. I may have been young, but even at fifteen I had issues with your family. You do realize you’re all spacey, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah… I mean… I’m sort of beginning too.”

“For Force sake Jacen, your grandfather was a mass murderer. Your mother and uncle were twins separated at birth and hidden from their mass-murdering father. That kind of stuff only happens in holo-dramas. Bad holo-dramas. Your father was a galactically wanted criminal. Your parents are insurrectionists, who are only alive, as opposed to not having been executed or serving life sentences on Kessel because their side won their war; your aunt was an Imperial assassin, and you’re all Force freaks. Not the sort of family every girl dreams of marrying into.”

“And yet you married into it. What does that say about you?”

“That I’m a sucker for a good kiss?”

“How would you know the difference? Who else have you kissed?”

“What do you know?”

“Oh, please. And besides, you’re a Force freak just like the rest of us.”

“Which is why I realized I’d better take Anakin up on his offer since my own status as a Force freak was probably going to limit my choices.”

“You should be proud to be a Solo.”

“I’m proud to be Anakin’s wife. I’m proud to be Will’s mother. The rest of you have sort of made careers out of making me miserable. But we’ve gotten off on a tangent. I’m dying to hear your take on how your family is crazy.”

“I wasn’t going to say crazy. I was just going to say that most families aren’t all in each other’s business the way ours is. I’m not sure most brothers and sisters are always together the way Mom and Luke are. I think that’s sort of… maybe… not normal. I mean, taking a vacation together and spending holidays together, that seems to be the norm… doing everything together, working together every single day, not eating a meal without the other, not making a decision or going to the ’fresher without the other knowing… it’s sort of creepy, isn’t it?”

Tahiri chuckled at that. “Well, given that I’m an orphan, you might be asking the wrong person. I’m sort of at the other end of the spectrum.”

Jacen smiled and nodded his head a little. “Maybe. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think maybe I’ve had unrealistic expectations of always having my siblings with me, especially having a twin, and that expectation was sort of kriffed with by what happened at Sernpidal, but I didn’t realize it until later, and I didn’t want to blame Dad for contributing to the situation by how he treated Anakin, so it was easier for me to blame you for pulling Anakin away. And then after Centerpoint, I didn’t want to take the blame for driving Anakin even further away. And then with our different views of the Force, I didn’t want to take the blame for that driving the wedge deeper. Does that make sense?”

“I guess. I never thought of it that way. Since you and Anakin didn’t spend much time together at the Academy my relationship with him was always very separate from his relationships with all of you. And he didn’t talk about Sernpidal or Centerpoint much, as I’m sure you can imagine. Even now, it’s still hard for him. And after Yag’ Dhul Anakin and I were pretty wrapped up in ourselves.”

“And you two never wondered why I disliked you?”

“By that point you and Anakin were having such issues that we just assumed it was an extension of that, and obviously we were right.”

“Yeah. So, when we got to Hapes, and you blamed me for his not coming back, and I was already feeling so guilty about it, it was really easy to lash out at you. And then when Mom blamed you, it was easy to latch onto that, to convince myself that it really was your fault, that if you hadn’t told Anakin about Will... and then with everything you said to us…”

“We all said a lot of things that we shouldn’t have.”

“Yeah... You have a mouth on you like a spacer though. Where did you learn to talk like that? We went to the same school and I didn’t learn to talk like that.”

“I read a lot.”

“What were you reading? Stars, Tahiri. I’d never even heard of some of the names you called me.”

“I’m imaginative.”

“I guess. And you kiss my brother with that mouth?”

Tahiri gave Jacen a wide grin. “All day long.” But then she grew serious again. “He hates it though. I’d be in so much trouble if I ever talked like that in front of him. I’m not even allowed to say ‘kriff’.”

“Good, it’s not very ladylike.”

“Well, I’ve never claimed to be a princess.”

“That’s how he sees you though. He thinks you’re perfect.”

“Hardly. He’s painfully aware of all my faults. If you ask him, I'm sure he’ll list them for you. In aurebeshic order.”

“That’s not what I mean. Yes, he’s aware of your faults, but he’s able to see past them, and sees the ways in which you are perfect, for him anyway, and he adores you.”

“It goes both ways.”

“I know. I see that now. And I see how hard you’ve both worked. I never gave you guys credit for how seriously you take your relationship. I guess because you were so young, and I was older, and I wasn’t in a place where I would have been able to take a relationship that seriously, I assumed that you weren’t able to either, then I judged you two based on how I would have dealt with it.”

“That’s understandable. And to be honest, we didn’t have the faintest idea of what we were doing back then. We thought we did at the time, we thought we understood the magnitude of what we were doing, but we look back on it now and laugh at ourselves. And I’m sure in five years, we’ll look back and laugh at ourselves now.”

“If you’re able to say that, maybe you won’t.”

“I guess time will tell. And, I think as far as taking it seriously, or understanding it, the most important thing is that we are each other’s best friend. That hasn’t changed since we were children. Hopefully that will never change. Even when we split up, the hardest part of that time for both of us was that when we were both so bruised and lonely and scared the one thing we both needed most was our best friend. And afterwards, when I told him about Hapes, and we split up the second time, when he came back, well, he came back home almost everyday and then left again, but the reason he kept coming back was because he needed his best friend, and yet what hurt him the most was the fact that his best friend had said all the things to his family that I said, if that makes any sense.”

“I think I get it. The level of trust is different.”

“Sort of. He could almost understand how, as his wife, I said some of the things I said, but as his best friend, the person he’d shared all the things he had with, for all those years, things he felt about your family, as his best friend, I shouldn’t have betrayed his trust like that. It was sort of a double betrayal and that’s what caused the most damage and what we’ve had to work the hardest to rebuild.”

“How long did it take?”

“We’re still working on it. It will never be the same. It may be as strong again, it may even be stronger one day, but it will never be what it was. What we lost is gone forever because there was an innocence to it that we can never recapture. We’re adults now. We’ll never be children again, and what was done can never be undone, it can only be learned from.”

“Wow. You want to be my therapist?”

“No, but I’m sure Dr. Abay can make a good recommendation.”

“He wouldn’t want to be my therapist either?”

“Conflict of interest. We’ve devoted far too many hours in his office to Anakin’s relationship with you for him to be able to take you on as a patient.”

“Really? Anakin has talked about me with his therapist?”

“Are you kidding? Do you realize how much the issues between you two hurts him? You’re his big brother. It kills him that you two don’t get along.”

“I just assumed he thought I was a self-righteous ass and could care less whether I lived or not.”

“Well, half of that is right. But ask yourself this; why would this relationship matter so much to you and not to him? You’ve just spent an hour explaining to me why you’ve hated me for stealing your brother away. Obviously you love him deeply or you wouldn’t have cared that I ‘took’ him. Why would you think that you mean any less to him? He would love to get along with you.”

“But not enough to change the way he does things.”

“Would you want him to? Really? Would you want him to be anyone other than who he is?”

Jacen sighed heavily. “I don’t know.”

“No? Anakin’s best quality is his goodness. The very core of his being is his goodness, and it’s beautiful, and everything he does, everything he is, stems from that goodness. Even with all of your differences, I know you see that.”

“Maybe.”

“He sees it in you. As angry as he gets with you, he sees that same goodness in you. It’s why it keeps breaking his heart that things are the way they are between you two. Because he sees that goodness and he can’t figure out why it’s there and he’s not on the receiving end of it.” Tahiri closed her eyes and a peaceful smile spread across her face before she spoke again. “Speak of the Sith… time to stop talking about him, here he comes.”

A rustling sound came from a couple of trees and Anakin appeared from behind them.

“That’s right, no more spilling secrets,” Anakin said as he made his way to where Tahiri and Jacen had stopped walking. “I came to make sure I still had a wife and a brother. Either one of you could have buried the body by now.”

Jacen rolled his eyes. “Now who isn’t funny?”

Anakin chuckled as he stepped up behind Tahiri and wrapped his arms around her waist. He leaned his chin on her shoulder and kissed her cheek, and whispered; “Hi.”

“Hi. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Came out of my trance and it’s hard to sleep without my favorite pillow,” he answered as he sat down, pulling Tahiri with him onto his lap.

Jacen sat opposite them, studying his brother. If Anakin knew that Jacen had lied to get Tahiri alone he didn’t seem upset, not overtly, and the fact that the conversation with Tahiri had ended well gave Jacen hope that Anakin wouldn’t take a lightsaber to him for his deception.

“Everyone else is waking up anyway,” Anakin continued, as he rested his face in Tahiri’s neck. “Do Yuuzhan Vong really not need to sleep much? Huane said she’s been up for an hour already.”

Jacen watched Tahiri snuggled into his brother and sighed. “Not much. The shaping wreaked all kinds of havoc on my sleep cycles.”

“And all this time I thought I was the one wreaking havoc on your sleep cycles back then.”

“Hey,” Jaina called, as she joined the group. “Thanks for covering my patrol, Tahiri. How was it?”

“Blissfully quiet,” Jacen answered for her.

“If you don’t count Jacen’s inability to stop talking. And people say I don’t shut up.”

“She matched me word for word,” Jacen countered.

Jaina eyed them both suspiciously. “So it wasn’t a mistake to have you two patrol together? I’m grateful for the extra sleep, thanks for offering to go for me.”

“We endured it,” Jacen shrugged, hoping Tahiri wouldn’t out him.

“It was fine, just don’t expect us to do it again,” Tahiri said, cocking an eyebrow at Jacen.

He grinned back at her and said, “Really, there’s only so much I can take on one mission.”

“What about me? As if the shaping wasn’t enough torture for one war,” Tahiri countered, and Jacen knew he was forgiven, at least a little.

Anakin chuckled and kissed the top of Tahiri’s head. “How about a twenty-minute trance before we pack up and start our day?”

“Right here?”

“Yeah, I’ll hold you while you do it.”

“Sounds good. Just don’t get grabby while I’m not awake to enjoy it.”

“You’re no fun.”

Jaina rolled her eyes and muttered, “You two are insatiable,” as she walked away.

“So we’ve been told,” Anakin called after her. Then, he gazed into Tahiri’s eyes, and smiled as her eyes rolled and her head fell against his chest and he cradled her to himself.

Jacen shook his head and asked, “She really can’t do that on her own?”

“She can when she’s at home with no distractions, but anywhere else, it’s easier and quicker if I do it with her.”

“Maybe if she’d kept training...”

“Maybe. So, did you work out what you were hoping to work out?”

“What do you…” but Jacen gave up trying to pretend he didn’t know what Anakin was talking about when Anakin raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, I think we worked it out.”

“Good. I’m impressed. You guys almost looked like you were enjoying each other’s company.”

Jacen smiled, then looked at the ground for a second before looking back at Anakin and shrugging. “She’s alright.”

Anakin smiled back. “Yeah, I might even keep her.”

“You should. She loves you, a lot.”

“I love her too, a lot.”

Jacen grew serious as he looked his brother in the eye. “I know Anakin, I know. I understand now. And I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“Thank you.”

Jacen nodded, then stood up. “You want some caf?”

“No, but she’ll want some when she comes up.”

“Okay, I’ll get her some,” Jacen said as he walked toward camp.

Chapter Text

Chapter 25
First Things First

30 ABY
Occupied Coruscant/Yuuzhan’tar
2.5 years after the ‘Fall of Coruscant’

Anakin watched as Hal and Tron made their way through the roughly two hundred beings gathered in the Shamed Ones’ makeshift meeting hall. It was already a tight squeeze, the two were turning their bodies sideways to shoulder their way through the crowd to make their way back to where the team was gathered, near the front of the room.

When Hal reached Anakin’s side he bowed slightly, still more reverentially then Anakin was comfortable with, but the two had finally stopped with the ‘domain’ part of his name every time they greeted him, or tried to get his attention. They’d also refrained from calling him the ‘Jeedai Who Stood With Vua Rauung’ for over a day now, though Anakin suspected it had less to do with Hal and Tron lightening up and more to do with the fact that Anakin could say ‘what?’ before they got to the ‘Stood With’ part of the salutation.

Their Basic had also gotten markedly better.

Hal straightened from his bow quickly and met Anakin’s gaze, then launched quickly into his report.

“We were able to find another hundred crèche brothers and sisters. They are bringing more of our own here now. They are also looking for the Prophet, to bring him to hear your mate. They believe it will take close to your standard hour. Can Tahiri Velia wait that long before she begins to speak?”

Anakin grimaced, then looked over at his wife, who was grimacing too.

Tahiri was being partly shielded by the rest of the team, shielded from the ever growing crowd of Yuuzhan Vong, hidden from view while Face put the finishing touches on her makeup. The three vertical ‘scars’ Face was adhering to her forehead weren’t exactly like the one’s Tahiri had had removed shortly after Will’s birth, but they were close enough that none of the Yuuzhan Vong she was about to show them to would know the difference. That was all that mattered.

Tahiri had heard Hal’s comment about the ‘Prophet’.

“No,” Anakin finally told Hal, “we need to start sooner. We’ll have to fill the Prophet in on what’s happening later.”

Anakin and Tahiri had hoped they’d be able to pull this all off while avoiding Nom Anor, though they’d both known it was a long shot; a really, really long shot. The best they could hope for now was that plan ‘B’ would work; that Tahiri could get up on the rock they’d picked for her to stand on and that she’d get her speech out before Nom Anor had actually gotten himself here.

Of course there was also Plan ‘C’.

Plan ‘C’ was to tell Mara that the Prophet was actually Nom Anor and let her have her way with him. As usual, they’d use the old ‘according to Tahiri’s sources’ excuse to explain how they knew or suspected that Nom Anor was the ‘Prophet’ and let the chips fall where they may. If Luke didn’t step in and try to temper Mara’s temper, she just might be able to dispatch the ‘Prophet’ for them and he would cease to be an issue. If not, Anakin hoped that Mara stayed true to form and kept an eye on him - and jumped really fast if Nom Anor did anything even slightly suspicious.

Turning back to Hal, Anakin said, “I’m going to fill the team in and we’ll get started,” then signaled to everyone that he needed to brief them. When they were all together he kneeled down and used a stick he’d picked up and drew a rough circle in the dirt to indicate the basic layout of the Sacred Precinct and where the various targets were located and started explaining the plan.

“Okay, our time is up. The GA is going to start their initial attack in space in about four hours. If they’re successful, that gives us about six hours to get to the Sacred Precinct, so we don’t have a lot of wiggle room. Hal has just informed me that more Shamed Ones are on the way, but we can’t wait for them. Tahiri is going to have to start now and anyone who isn’t here is going to have to get the story from their friends as we make our way in. If we’re lucky, the information will translate well and the newcomers will attack the right people…”

“If we’re lucky?” Jaina asked, sounding a little horrified.

Anakin laughed gently, and put a hand on her arm. “I’m kidding Jaya, the information will translate. All the shamed ones joining us will know who to fight.” Satisfied that his sister was satisfied, Anakin turned back to the group, “I’ve also just been told that the Prophet is on his way here now.”

“Who’s the Prophet?” Jaina asked, her horror turning to confusion.

“A Shamed One,” Anakin explained, “recently shamed, a self appointed leader who has done a lot to see that the Jeedai heresy story has spread throughout Yuuzhan’tar.”

“So he’s on our side?” Jaina now sounded relieved, and Anakin almost hated to burst her bubble, especially since he knew that her next expression was going to be ‘incredulous’.

If Mara didn’t beat her to it.

“He’d like us to believe that, but we think he’s actually Nom Anor, which means…”

“Nom Anor?” Mara asked, incredulous.

Anakin turned to his aunt and smiled, “Exactly, which is why we can only imagine that his motives are self-serving, or that he’s a plant put in place by the higher ups. Either way, not to be trusted, which is why Tahiri needs to go on now. I’d like to get this show going before he gets here. If we can keep him somewhat isolated, maybe we can keep him from informing anyone else of what we’re trying to do.”

Anakin looked from his aunt to his sister, made sure they were both mollified, and wondered at his good fortune that his brother and uncle had remained quiet, then took a quick breath and went on.

“Since we’ve had to modify our plan of attack anyway because of the World Brain issue, I’ve decided to totally restructure it; we’re breaking up into three teams instead of two. Team One is going to be Jacen, Tahiri, Huane and a group of shamed ones. They are going to take a route that leads them from here to the World Brain in a circular path.”

Anakin drew a line from the point in the dirt that indicated where they currently were, to the Well of the World Brain, what had once been the New Republic Senate Building.

Looking up at his wife and brother he instructed, “Use every weapon you have. Destroy. Obliterate. Annihilate. Demolish. Don’t be afraid to throw everything you brought with you and anything you can get your hands on. If something moves along this path; torch it, shoot it, crush it, tear it down.”

Anakin knew that Tahiri would have no problem with his orders; his wife had never had an issue with destruction if she could justify the necessity. And here, she would have no problem justifying it; in Tahiri’s mind ending the war was the only way to ensure Will’s safety, and succeeding on this mission was the only way of ending this war. Jacen was the one Anakin was worried about, but, as with the shifting in the colors that surrounded Jacen, and with his behavior on this trip so far, with what he’d done to get Tahiri alone and the talk they’d had… clearly there were changes taking place within Jacen, and Anakin had to believe, was choosing to believe that Jacen was making choices that were for the good of the mission, were for the good of their family. Because of all of those things Anakin was also choosing to believe that he was not making a mistake in trusting Jacen to keep Tahiri safe. And really, it was the only choice he had.

“Now,” Anakin continued, “the only way to get into the World Brain is the front entrance of the Senate Building. All of the other entrances to the building have been cut off by vongformed barriers. There is a very real possibility that you guys may not make it inside to deliver Huane’s poison. But, you may be able to create enough of a diversion that Team Two will still be able to scale the Citadel to wire the ship without being seen or stopped.”

Anakin looked around at all the faces, made sure that everyone was with him and then kept going.

“Okay, Team Two is Luke, Face, Kell, Tron and me. We’ll go in the opposite direction from Team One.” He made another line, again rounded, that ended at the back of the Citadel. “We’ll have all the same weapons, plus the explosives for the escape ship, and our own group of Shamed Ones, but we won’t be making quite as much noise”

Kell raised his hand and when Anakin nodded to him he asked, “Can I go with Team One? It sounds like they’re going to have more fun.”

Anakin shook his head as several in the group chuckled, then looked down at his drawing in the dirt and made a third line, this one straight from the location they were at to the Sacred Precinct.

“Mara, you and Jaina will lead Team Three. You’ll be taking Hal, and the majority of the shamed ones. Well make a general announcement to the crowd to follow you, then we’ll hand pick individuals to go with the smaller teams and tell them quietly that they’ll be with us. This should keep teams One and Two safe and our missions from being widely known by all the other shamed ones.”

“Which means Non Anor won’t be able to tell anyone where you are or what you’re actually doing because the shamed ones with us won’t have heard what you pulled your teams away for.” Jaina concluded.

“That’s what I’m hoping,” Anakin sighed. “Of course, with groups this big, there’s always room for mistakes, and we can’t exactly pat them all down for villips and stuff. We have to trust them. And, I may just be being paranoid. The Prophet may not be Nom Anor… or may not show up,” Anakin looked back to Mara, “but if he does, and if he so much as sneezes…”

“I’ll do what I think is best,” Mara finished for him.

“Mara…” Luke gave his wife a warning look and Anakin wanted to laugh at the look she gave him back.

“I can take care of the situation without getting angry,” Mara told Luke, with utter calm, though Anakin suspected she felt anything but calm. Given what she’d been subjected to at the hands of Nom Anor, what she’d nearly lost, he could hardly blame her.

“Mara knows what to do,” Anakin soothed, then he turned back to face his aunt. “Just keep your group focused on the middle ground. You’re going to be marching up the center while the other teams are coming up the flanks. The longer we can keep Nom Anor in the dark… the happier I’ll be. He’s going to know the rest of us are here somewhere, but I’d like him to not know exactly what it is we’re actually doing.”

“Understood.”

“Alright, any last-minute comments before I throw my wife to the vornskrs?”

“Anakin…” Tahiri gave him a look that made Anakin feel even more guilty than he was already feeling. Somehow, in trying to avoid using her as bait, he’d ended up doing that very thing, numerous times it felt like, on this trip, and he hated himself for it.

“Anyone else having anything to say?”

When the rest of the team just shook their heads, Anakin nodded his own. “Alright. Give us a minute and then we’ll get started.” He grabbed Tahiri’s hand and pulled her up, then pulled her aside as everyone else stepped away and allowed the couple a moment alone.

Anakin wrapped his arms around Tahiri, laying his cheek on her head for a second before pulling back. “You sure you’re ready for this?”

Tahiri looked up and smiled sweetly. “To incite a riot and instigate what promises to be the biggest, baddest battle in this war for galactic domination?”

Anakin closed his eyes and blew out a resigned breath. “I’m glad to see you’re not trying to downplay this.”

“Me? Never.”

“I’m serious.”

“Anakin, we’ve been over this a dozen times, and we don’t really have a choice, given that we’re already here. It’s not like I can back out and catch a ride home at this point.”

“I could shove you into a bush somewhere and come back for you when this is over.”

Tahiri laughed lightly. “Yeah, I’d like to see you try. Especially since a few dozen Yuuzhan Vong are already pointing at the freakish looking yellow haired infidel. I think I’ve probably already been recognized, and if not, they’ll figure it out as soon as I utter the first words in their language. So, sorry, but I’m not going anywhere Hero Boy. You’re stuck with me.”

Anakin pressed his lips to her forehead then whispered, “Don’t listen to them, you’re not that freakish looking.”

“Ah, that’s the most romantic thing you’ve said to me in ages.”

Anakin leaned further down and rested his head on her shoulder and pressed his lips lightly against her neck before saying, “I told you I can be romantic.”

Tahiri giggled softly. “I don’t give you enough credit.”

“You really don’t. And if we manage to survive today, I will take you on that honeymoon I’ve always promised you.”

“Really?”

“Really really. “

“Like a vacation type honeymoon?”

“Yeah, to a hotel.”

“With room service?”

“And a beach, and even babysitting.”

“We wouldn’t need to take a fully armed nanny or a commando squad to watch over our son?”

“Or weapons.”

“Wow… you really know how to woo a girl.”

“I’ve been planning it for ages. Now off with you. Go incite your riot. Rile the masses, make me proud.”

“Show the universe that I deserve to carry the Solo name, if only by marriage?”

“Oh, you’re a Solo alright, even if you still refuse to let me call you Mrs. Solo when anyone else is around.”

“Maybe if we do survive this I’ll let you have your way, change my name legally and everything.”

“You’re such a tease.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jacen watched Tahiri jump up onto the rock she’d picked to speak from, then walked over to stand beside Anakin.

“You okay?”

Anakin breathed out a heavy sigh. “Yeah… no.”

“She’ll be okay. We’ll keep her safe.”

Anakin let out another breath and Jacen tried to imagine how hard this must be for his brother, and realized that he couldn’t. He’d never had a Tahiri.

Not that he’d ever want a Tahiri.

Stars… Even with all the talking and getting things out and reaching an understanding and putting the past behind them, Jacen still wasn’t quite sure how Anakin put up with her. She was incredibly opinionated... and stubborn... and bossy.

His brother certainly loved her though, practically worshipped her, and didn’t seem at all bothered by her incredibly annoying personality characteristics. Of course, Tahiri didn’t seem at all bothered by Anakin’s incredibly annoying personality characteristics either, so Jacen had been right when he’d told Tahiri that she and his brother were a match made in Hell.

What was that old Corellian saying about couples? The Gods make them and they find each other?

Now though, Jacen could tell by the pained look on Anakin’s face that letting go of his wife’s hand and watching her leap up onto that rock to stand in front of a crowd that had grown to somewhere in the neighborhood of three hundred Yuuzhan Vong maybe the hardest thing Anakin had ever done in his life, because, despite what Jacen had just said, there was no way that they, or even Luke, stood a chance of keeping Tahiri safe if this growing group of Vong decided that they’d like to see her in six, or seven, or fifteen pieces.

But he figured that probably wasn’t a wise thing to say to Anakin right now.

As Tahiri began to speak, she instantly got the attention of the Vong gathered near her, and Jacen leaned into Anakin to ask what she’d said.

Anakin rolled his eyes. “If I could understand a word coming out of her mouth do you think she’d be here?”

Jacen was about to agree that Anakin had a good point when Huane stepped up and gently placed a hand on Jacen’s forearm, then whispered, “She said that she knows that they have heard of the Jeedai heresy, that the Jeedai are not to be feared, but are the key to their salvation.”

Tahiri spoke again, drawing on the Force to amplify her voice, to carry it further out into the room, but the crowd was already buzzing, and even without being able to touch the aliens with the Force, Jacen could practically feel the Vong come alive with excitement and anticipation.

He placed his hand over Huane’s, internally chastising himself when he registered that he’d allowed his fingers to thread into hers where they still rested on his arm, then pulled them back and asked, “Now what…” but she cut him off, beginning to translate - verbatim - Jacen assumed, as Tahiri continued to speak.

“You have also heard rumors that you are not cursed... that you are not damned... that you are not Shamed. I am here to tell you that that is true. You are not held in disfavor. The Gods do not hate you. The only beings who hate you are the warriors and the priests and the shapers. It is they who hold you down and refuse you honor. My comrades and I are here to help you throw off the yoke of slavery.”

As Tahiri continued, Huane continued, and Jacen felt the crowd’s excitement grow.

“I can hear you asking how an infidel can speak the tongue of the Gods. I can hear you asking who I am. I am one of the Jeedai you have heard stories about. I am Tahiri Veila. I am the Jeedai Who Was Shaped.”

Jacen watched the crowd in fascination as Tahiri lifted her bangs to show her scars, and with her other hand lifted her lightsaber and ignited her blade. Cries and shouts began to ring out as first the Yuuzhan Vong standing close recognized who she was, then the others, those standing further away, unable to see, but able to hear what the others were saying, realized what was happening. The buzz Jacen could feel grew stronger, more pronounced, as the shamed ones hopes grew. It was clear they could feel that something important was taking place.

“With me here today are more Jeedai, more Jeedai who want to help you find honor and defeat those who have held you down.”

Tahiri waved her hand towards the team, drawing the attention of the mass of beings towards the Jedi.

“Standing before you is the leader of all Jeedai, Master Luke Skywalker, his mate, Mara Jade Skywalker, the Jeedai twins, Jaina and Jacen Solo, and the Jeedai Who Stood With Vua Rapuung, Anakin Solo.”

The frenzy grew to fever pitch when Tahiri said Anakin’s name, and Tahiri called Anakin to join her on the rock. Jacen watched Anakin’s eyes widen in surprise as he hesitated, then stepped forward and jumped up to stand next to his wife as she began speaking again.

“The Gods smiled on him on Yavin, they guided him in his search for me and helped as he stood with Vua Rapuung against many warriors.”

Jacen watched Tahiri lean over to Anakin, then watched Anakin hold up his lightsaber pommel and ignite his blade, holding it high above his head.

“The Gods led Anakin Solo to the lambent fields and guided him as he built a new lightsaber using a lambent crystal. His lightsaber, the lightsaber he holds now, the weapon of the Jeedai, is made with a Yuuzhan Vong lambent. Would the Gods allow an infidel to use a lambent in his weapon if the Gods hated the Jeedai? No. Would the Gods allow Vua Rapuung to redeem his name with the help of a Jeedai if Vua Rapuung was truly cursed? No.

“Many thought Anakin Solo perished on the worldship Baanu Raas, but he survived. He spent a year on the planet Myrkr, living off the land, alone, unable to use the Force, and finally escaped and found his way back to his crèche mates. The Gods smiled upon him again, as they did on Yavin, and helped him survive so he could lead you to victory in this final battle against your oppressors. Join with us, join with the Jeedai who stood with Vua Rapuung, help him defeat the warriors who spill your blood as though your lives mean nothing.”

Huane kept going, not only translating what Tahiri was saying, but also what was being said by the audience. And still the hall continued to fill up, the space growing more densely packed, a steady stream of Shamed Ones entering, as Tahiri continued to speak, as she promised these beings a life they had only dreamed of.

“Help us end this war and we will take you to Zonoma Sekot where you can live in peace.”

Tahiri’s final words were nearly drowned out by the cries of the shamed ones. Huane was barely able to translate what Tahiri was saying, or what the shamed ones were saying, but it didn’t matter anymore. The message was clear: the shamed ones believed Tahiri, they believed the ‘heresy’. They would follow the Jeedai, they would join the infidels, they would join the Galactic Alliance, they would fight to end the war, they would fight for their redemption, they would fight for their own salvation.

Chapter Text

Chapter 26
Life Is A Battlefield

30 ABY
Occupied Coruscant/Yuuzhan’tar
2.5 years after the ‘Fall of Coruscant’

Thrust, parry, twist, pull. Thrust, parry, step back, slash, kick.

Breathe.

Thrust, slash, kick, twist, side step. Run, jump, flip, crouch, spring, snapkick.

Breathe.

One hundred and four.

Tahiri could see the Senate building. No, she could see the Well of the World Brain. She could also see the hundreds of warriors standing between her and it. She could also feel the exhaustion threatening to take her down, but she couldn’t let it, she had to keep going.

Run, jump, spin, land, kick, thrust, stab.

Breathe.

One hundred and five.

She could also feel death, all the deaths she had caused. She couldn’t feel the losses in the Force, like she would feel them if she had gutted and speared and decapitated humans or Twi’leks or Rodians or Wookies, but she could feel the deaths in her soul and they were weighing her down as much as the fatigue was weighing down her muscles.

Kick, parry, thrust, uppercut, swing, hack, duck, swing back around.

Breathe.

One hundred and six.

Kick, spin, snap-kick…

Then the ground began to quake.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mara was finding it surprisingly easy to split her attention.

Nom Anor was a coward.

For all his proselytizing, for all his talk and encouragement to the Shamed Ones to rise up against their oppressors as they marched toward the Sacred Precinct, he was doing a very good job at hiding behind them, whenever they encountered the warriors he was encouraging those Shamed Ones to attack. That left Mara plenty of room to fight those same warriors and not having to worry about where Nom Anor was.

He was always hiding behind those Shamed Ones.

Each skirmish that Team Three had gotten into so far had proven fairly easy to deal with. Either Shimmra was sending out the second string, or the Shamed Ones were better prepared and more fed up with their lot than Mara had imagined.

Though they hadn’t had many weapons to start out with, the survivors from the first few skirmishes had picked up the amphistaffs and thud bugs and razor bugs left by the dead warriors and carried them into the next skirmishes and hadn’t been shy about using them.

The Shamed Ones had done better as they’d kept going, not only picking up weapons, but picking up friends. By Mara’s guess they were only a kilometer from the Sacred Precinct now and had far more Shamed Ones with them than when they’d started out.

Jaina was leading the throng now, Mara only a meter behind her and to the left. Nom Anor was between them, off Jaina’s left shoulder - in clear striking distance of Mara’s lightsaber, if he so much as sneezed, as Anakin had said. Mara had barely taken her eyes off of him in the last twenty minutes, just begging the Force for him to sneeze.

Then he did sneeze, but Mara suspected it was because of the smoke from the fires that were beginning to break out in the shrubs all around them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin crouched down at the base of the wall surrounding the Sacred Precinct and braced himself with his hands on the ground as it shook again, watching in horror as the Shamed Ones threw themselves at the warriors in front of them.

It was like watching a mass suicide.

These were not the warriors that Mara’s Shamed One’s were fighting; these were Shimrra’s elite guard, these were the guardians of the actual Citadel. The only beings stronger, tougher, or more brutal would be the warriors in the throne room itself, the warriors standing in front of Shimmra.

These Shamed Ones were lucky if they lasted five seconds before becoming decorations on the tips of these warriors’ amphistaffs; they’d last even less time in the throne room and the wave of nausea Anakin was feeling was competing with the wave of guilt for the dominant emotion as he watched the melee in front of him.

He’d known, from Older Tahiri’s descriptions of last time, that Shamed Ones would die, but still, knowing it was a possibility, even a probability, and watching it happen were two entirely different things.

Anakin looked away from the scene to see Luke hunched and making his way over.

“Time yet?”

Anakin shook his head. “Tahiri and Jacen are about forty meters from the opening to the Brain. They’ve got about one-hundred-fifty Shamed Ones with them still, and more are pouring into their section of the Precinct, but there are about five hundred warriors over there. And they lost Huane.”

Luke reeled back in surprise. “Did they lose the poison?”

“No, Jacen caught her as she was going down, stayed with her until she went. He gave the canister to another one of the Shamed Ones to take care of until they get in.”

“How much longer do you want to wait?”

Anakin scrunched his nose and sighed. “I just spoke to Mara. Fires are breaking out near them. Between that and the quakes, and all the fighting, I’m not sure if we need any more diversions. Wedge and Kre’fey are going to be here soon and troops are going to start landing. We need that ship disabled. Before too much longer our safety is going to become a secondary concern.”

“Good thing our wives didn’t just hear you say that.”

“I’d be sleeping on the couch for days.”

“Face and Kell are good to go, so whenever you’re ready.”

Anakin looked back out at the fighting, saw that the Shamed Ones weren’t doing any better and sighed, “I guess there’s no time like the present.”

“You sure?”

“Why not. Let’s go wreak a little havoc. Why should our wives get to inflict all the mayhem?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jacen stood watching Tahiri and had to smile.

His not so large sister-in-law seemed even smaller than normal when surrounded by Vong, her head tilted back to look up into their faces. They didn’t seem to view her as small though, or take her size as an indication of weakness. On the contrary; the Shamed Ones were listening intently, and Jacen knew they had every intention of carrying out Tahiri’s orders, which, Jacen also knew, were to guard the entrance Tahiri was now standing in front of, the entrance to the Well of the World Brain, with their lives.

When she was done handing out orders Tahiri joined Jacen, and the two started forward. Huane had described what they would find, a maze of ceremonial trees and shrubs, and if the looks of the greenery in front of them was anything to go by, then they were indeed in the right place.

“Wow, it’s even creepier than I thought it would be,” Tahiri whispered as they began walking.

“Yeah, sort of like the descriptions you read about of the garden in the Fourth Corellian Hell.”

“Then you should feel right at home,” Tahiri giggled.

Jacen grinned and shook his head as he followed behind her, hoping there was only one way to go. “I thought we agreed to put all the name-calling and insulting behind us.”

“I didn’t agree to anything.” She laughed, then after a moment she asked, “Are you feeling sort of giddy and giggly because we actually made it here and we didn’t die?”

Jacen laughed with her. “Yeah. And the war may be over in a couple of hours.”

Tahiri grabbed Jacen’s hand and squeezed. “I can hardly believe it. I barely remember what it was like to not be at war.”

Jacen took a deep breath. “I know, but the war isn’t over yet, and we have a job to do, so let’s get serious.”

The path ended quicker than Jacen would have imagined, considering what it was leading to, but once out of it, a sense of foreboding threatened to overwhelm him.

They were in the cavernous room that had held the galaxy’s Senate pods for thousands of years, the room where democracy, and briefly, the Empire, had reigned. Now, the room was nothing more than a yorik coral shell, the décor that had once hung from, or been engraved in the walls, witness to hundreds of generations of legislative history, had been wiped away by the living rock that had consumed the duracrete and plasteel that had made up the theatre. There was nothing left to remind future generations that the New Republic, or the Old Republic, or even the Empire, had ever ruled from this building. There was nothing left to testify to the fact that billions of beings’ lives had mattered to those who traveled these halls, sentients for whom governing was not only a life's work, but a passion.

Instead of that passion, or even the anger Jacen often felt infused in the very air whenever he entered this building, he felt a damp, sticky, ominous hunger, as though the Brain wanted something, or wanted them.

At the bottom of the massive chamber, below where he and Tahiri now stood, in the pit from where the tower of the Chief of State’s podium had once risen, was a deep, wide pool of bubbling slime, and as Jacen watched, something that was very definitely alive broke the surface, curved and gleaming like the back of some huge sea-monster.

It disappeared quickly, back under the wet frothing surface in a moment, and didn’t seem to react to them, but the sight still made Jacen anxious.

He looked at Tahiri. “Is it just me, or are you feeling like the Brain can sense us?” Jacen asked.

“I’m not sure,” Tahiri said as she pushed buttons on her wrist comm, “but I’m going to let Anakin know we got in. Let’s do this and get the hell out of here. This place is seriously freaking me out.”

“For once, I agree with you,” he murmured. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

Tahiri looked up and scowled. “Great, Jace. Isn’t that Solo code for ‘let’s kriff this up’?”

Jacen opened the canister Huane had carried on the march and sighed, wishing she could have been here to deliver this herself, knowing that she would have taken great pride in the knowledge that her work had helped her race, then tipped the container, spilling the contents onto the Brain. The liquid had barely hit the surface of the pool when the gelatinous creature began to undulate wildly, splashing liquid high up into the air, covering Jacen and Tahiri in sticky goo as the ground instantly began to shake. Then, to Jacen’s horror, something broke through the surface of the gelatinous pool – a massive tentacle the size of a baby space slug, and then two more of them, splashing liquid high up into the air as they thrashed around.  The shaking grew harder, causing Jacen to lose his balance.  He used the Force to keep himself from tumbling into the Well, glad that the tentacles didn’t seem to be aiming for them specifically, and pulled Tahiri back with him as he fell away from the beast and onto the floor, just as he heard his brother’s voice coming from Tahiri’s wrist.

"What’s going on? You’ve got a bad feeling about what? Jacen? Tahiri?”

Jacen grabbed Tahiri’s arm and brought the comm to his mouth.  “We’re in, Anakin.”

Tahiri knocked Jacen aside, pulling her arm away from him, and was about to speak when a tentacle lashed past her face, its heavy tip connecting loudly with the wall behind them, and smashing fist-sized chunks of yorik coral off it.

Jacen tried to not give her a smug look, though he knew he was failing. The ground shaking grew faster and harder, causing both of them to roll, thankfully away from the pool, as the tentacles thrashed around the air above their heads.

Jacen grabbed Tahiri’s hand again and brought it back to his mouth. "We delivered the poison.”

“Is that what’s causing the new shaking? It’s worse than before.”

“I think so. The Brain started reacting as soon as I poured the toxin.” More tentacles shot up and out of the pool, sweeping around wildly, clearly looking for whatever was trying to hurt the Brain. “And it doesn’t seem to like it. Or us”

The light mist of yorik dust raining down and the sound of coral grinding against itself caused Jacen to throw himself over Tahiri, though he shouldn’t have bothered; all he got for his effort was an indignant glare, and an elbow in the ribs before Tahiri knocked him aside.

”Jacen, get Tahiri out of there.”

“I will, Anakin,” Jacen yelled.

“If you had kept your mouth shut…” Tahiri grumbled as she got onto her hands and knees, and then pushed herself to standing.

“What? The roof wouldn’t be caving in? Yeah, right.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The smoke from the fires was so thick that it was becoming increasingly harder to see the wall that surrounded the Sacred Precinct. This was both good and bad. It afforded the Shamed Ones cover from the warriors, but it also made it difficult for Mara to tell how many warriors were up ahead. It also made it difficult to tell how many Shamed Ones were behind her, and she hated not knowing how many allies she had at her back.

In reality, all she really needed to know right now was who was right in front of her - and who was in front of her right now was a warrior with an amphistaff, poised to swing it down towards her head.

Mara brought her lightsaber up in a high horizontal block, then whipped it down, flicked her wrist, thrust the tip of her blade up through the throat of her attacker, then cut the blade and watched the warrior fall.

As the giant hit the ground, Nom Anor came into clear view behind him, standing behind Jaina, with an amphistaff in his hand, and that was all Mara needed to see.

Using the Force to propel herself up and over the body of the warrior she had just taken down, Mara ignited her blade as she landed behind Nom Anor, and thrust the tip through his back, straight up his spine. She placed her left hand on his shoulder and with a final thrust, ground her blade as far as it would go into his body, making sure to sear his heart and lungs, making sure there was nothing but charred flesh left of whatever vital organs might have resided in his upper chest cavity. Then she flicked off the ignition switch on her lightsaber and pushed Nom Anor forward, and watched him fall face first into the dirt.

Jaina turned around and looked first at the body at her aunt’s feet, then up at her aunt.

“I guess he sneezed?”

“And didn’t say ‘excuse me’.”

“I haven’t met many Vong with manners.”

“And he was worse than most.”

Before Jaina could comment again, the ground shook, a sharp, jarring shake, causing both her and Mara to fall to their knees.

“You think Jacen and Tahiri made it to the Brain?” Jaina asked when she was finally able to stand.

“Let’s hope,” Mara said, as she stood as well. “Though I don’t know if that’s going to make the fires better or worse.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin ground his toe into the yorik coral of the ship, digging the hook attached to his boot in to anchor himself, then did the same with the other foot. When he’d steadied himself he fixed the winch on his rope to keep himself level, took the lightsaber from his belt, pressed the pommel against the side of the ship and hit the ignition switch, creating a round hole just the right size to insert the stick of dyna-plas. When he’d inserted the stick he pressed Kell’s wire into it, then passed the wire to Luke.

Then they scooted over a few meters and started the process again.

They’d been doing this for forty-five minutes. Face and Kell were on the other side of the ship doing the same thing, and the plan was that the four would meet up in the middle and bring all the wires together. Kell would then braid the wires, run the braid down to the ground and into a box that connected to a switch, then once they’d all backed really far away, Kell would do something magical to the switch that would make all the sticks of dyna-plas blow up at the same time.

If all went well, the sticks would create an explosion that would cause the top of the Citadel to fall in on itself, trapping Shimmra and Omini inside the throne room.

If all went really well Shimmra and Omini would be crushed by the tons of yorik coral caving in on them, but Anakin was trying not to get his hopes up.

Another quake shook the Citadel and Luke lost his footing, causing him to reel back away from the building. On pure instinct Anakin reached out with the Force and grabbed his uncle, pulling him back to safety.

“Anakin…”

“Please don’t start with the ‘you shouldn’t use the Force’…”

“Actually, I was going to thank you.”

“Oh.”

Luke grinned at his nephew, but before he could say anything else another voice caught his attention.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Face said jovially. “Enjoying the shaking?”

“Yeah, it’s fabulous,”Anakin answered. “How’d you guys manage to stay up here? We’re Jedi and even with the Force we nearly got thrown off this thing several times.”

“It’s all our fancy Wraith equipment. We can scale anything and stick.”

“I’m beginning to wish we had taken you up on your offer of fancy Wraith equipment,” Luke sighed.

“I’m assuming your wife and brother are to thank for the last half hour of fun?” Face asked Anakin.

“Yeah, they got through. Hopefully the death doesn’t take much longer. I’m ready for the roller-coaster ride to end.”

“Me too. Let’s rappel off this thing so Kell can get his kicks and we can see if our handiwork had the desired effect. Wedge and Tycho should be dropping in soon and I’d like to be home in time for dinner. Tycho promised to make me something Alderaanian if we did a good job down here.”

Luke chuckled as he began to let the tension out of his rope. “Do you guys really only think about food?”

Kell grinned as he began lowering himself beside Luke. “Of course not. I think about blowing things up too.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tahiri stood with Mara and Jaina and Jacen and looked out at the scene before her and could hardly believe what she was witnessing.

The ground had been still for over five hours.

The World Brain was dead.

Rain was dampening the fires that had been burning all morning.

Fences were being put up by the Alliance Engineering corp. Warriors and Priests and Shapers were being rounded up, stripped of their weapons and tools and interred in the makeshift holding areas.

Shamed Ones were being checked out by med teams and given water and food. Survivors from the First Battle of Coruscant were slowly making their way to the surface and relief workers, already being brought in by the government, were seeing to their needs.

Fighting was still going on in the air, but the GA starfighters were herding the rogue coralskippers and cruiser analogs away from the Sacred Precinct and there hadn’t been a suicide bomber anywhere near this area in over two hours.

Anakin had commed four hours ago to say that Shimmra’s body had been found in the Citadel, then Kenth Hamner had notified Cal Omas.

The Supreme Overlord was dead.

Everything was happening so fast.

If they could just find Omini’s body, the war would really be over.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin had been searching for hours.

It hadn’t been difficult to get into the throne room once Kell had blown the ship. It hadn’t been difficult to get past the few warriors that hadn’t been killed by the blast. It hadn’t been difficult to determine that Shimmra was dead. But then he’d torn what was left of the throne room apart looking for Omini and finally determined that the jester wasn’t there, and he’d been more scared than he’d ever been in his life.

He and Luke had gone through what was left of the palace and come up empty.

Omini was nowhere to be found.

There was no body, no trace of a body, no indication of where Omini might have gone. Nothing to tell them where to begin looking. So Anakin had gone wandering around the palace, going from room to room, lightsabers blazing as he’d searched and searched and searched.

He’d been filled with an inexplicable sense of dread for over an hour now, filled with worry that he was missing something, something that he should know, some sign that the Force was trying to show him and that he was missing. He’d become steadily more frantic as he searched the palace, and finally left the Citadel, trying to find the little Vong that he knew was the key to really ending the war.

He was outside now, in the plaza, in front of him was the Senate building, and his attention was drawn to a rain soaked blonde head, fifty meters away, on the other side of a barricade that had already been erected by the Alliance.

Tahiri.

He watched her raise her arm up and smile widely at him, her joy unmistakable, both on her face and in the Force, but alarm bells began to clang in Anakin’s head just as she’d turned and caught sight of him.

He felt it at almost the same time he noticed the Shamed One in front of him, between him and Tahiri.

He was horribly misshapen, this little Shamed One, horribly disfigured; his gait hindered by a limp, one leg markedly shorter than the other, one shoulder raised higher than the other.

For a moment a sense of familiarity filled Anakin, a sense that he knew this being—no, that he knew something about this being, that he was familiar, and then it dawned on him – this being was filled with the Force – he was drawing on it, the Force was powering this being’s thoughts, and his actions, and his strength, and the amphistaff that was leaving this being’s hand was being guided by the Force.

The Force was also informing Anakin’s actions. It guided Anakin’s motions as he leapt, landed, then lifted his arms and crossed his two lightsaber blades. The Force powered his strength as he scissored his blades across the base of Omini’s neck, but the amphistaff had left Omini’s hand before his head had left his body, and the amphistaff had found its mark before Omini’s head had hit the ground, and Anakin was screaming Tahiri’s name and running to her before Omini’s body had fallen.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jacen felt the Force screaming at him to act.

He thumbed on his lightsaber and threw it up in front of Tahiri before he was even sure why he was doing it. He had flicked his wrist and pushed up against the shaft of the amphistaff before it even registered that he had just prevented the weapon from shattering his sister-in-law’s chest. All he knew was that he hadn’t done enough and that he had to do more.

He needed to do more.

Somewhere in the distance, Jacen was aware that Anakin was screaming Tahiri’s name and that he was trying to get to her, he also knew that Anakin was too far away to help.

Blood was gushing from the wound over Tahiri’s right lung and coming out of her mouth and nose. Jacen knew from her gasping and the way she was desperately clawing at him and Mara that she would drown in her own blood soon if they didn’t do something.

“Tahiri, calm down.”

But she couldn’t. Her eyes were wild and she was kicking her feet and gasping and Jacen realized that the only thing he could possibly do to help her was get her into a healing trance while Mara called for help.

Jacen grabbed Tahiri’s chin to force her to look at him.

“Tahiri, please, I’m trying to help you, you need to go into a healing trance, let me help you.”

Tahiri shook her head, and Jacen could see the terror in her eyes.

“Tahiri, please, for Anakin, so you can see Anakin again, you need to let me help you. So we can get you to a medic. Let me help you. So you can be with Anakin.”

He used the Force to push her, to guide her, to lean into her and felt Tahiri begin to give; felt her resistance begin to waver.

“That’s it. Don’t fight me, I’ll help you get to Anakin, just relax, let me help you.”

As he looked into her eyes and he continued to reach for her in the Force, he felt her resistance continue to ebb, then he watched her eyes begin to roll and prayed he’d succeeded in getting her into a healing trance… that she wasn’t simply dying.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tahiri saw Anakin at almost the same time she saw the strange little Shamed One limping in front of him. He caught her attention because there was something about him that felt familiar, but before she could put her finger on what that was, her chest was burning, and then she was lying on the ground, and Jacen was leaning over her and she was scared.

She needed Anakin, she needed to see Anakin, because she couldn’t breathe, she was drowning, but then she realized that she wasn’t drowning in water like when they were kids and she’d fallen over the side of the silver raft, she was drowning in blood, in her own blood.

Anakin, help me!

But Jacen was leaning over her, and pushing on her mind, and she couldn’t let him in, because he couldn’t see.

Anakin, please… help me!

She needed Anakin.

Anakin had always saved her, had always come for her, had always made things right, because he just knew… and Jacen wasn’t supposed to know, Jacen couldn’t know.

But there was so much blood, and she couldn’t breathe, and her chest hurt so badly, and Jacen was pressing on her mind.

Blood… Anakin… see Anakin… no Jacen, stop…

She couldn’t let Jacen in, Jacen couldn’t see, Jacen wasn’t supposed to know, Jacen couldn’t find out, but it hurt so much, and she couldn’t see Anakin anymore, and she wanted to see Anakin, and Jacen was telling her it was for Anakin…

See Anakin… Anakin… Jacen… blood… Jacen…

She needed Anakin, but he wasn’t there anymore. She’d seen him, and then he was gone, Anakin was gone and she was in so much pain, and Jacen had said that he would take her to see Anakin.

See Anakin…Jacen, stop… blood…

Jacen would take her to see Anakin, he would take her to see Anakin and if she could see Anakin she wouldn’t hurt anymore… would she? Jacen was doing this for her and Anakin… all she had to do was listen to Jacen… listen to Jacen… do what Jacen was asking her to do and she would get to see Anakin.

Listen to Jacen… blood… Jacen…

And then she wouldn’t hurt anymore… just listen to Jacen and do what Jacen said and then she wouldn’t hurt anymore… it was for Anakin, he was doing it for her and Anakin, and he was pressing on her mind… would he take the pain away? And take her to Anakin?

Make the pain go away… take her to Anakin… to Anakin… Jacen… blood…

Jacen was going to make the pain stop. Jacen was going to take her to see Anakin. Jacen was doing this for her and Anakin. She just had to listen to Jacen and do what he was asking her to do.

Jacen… Anakin…blood… flow… Anakin… see… walk… Anakin… blood… fin… blood… fin… flow… Jacen… bloodfin… Jacen… Sith… Jacen… bloodfin… Sith… Jacen… walk… flow…

Chapter Text

Chapter 27
You Are The Sea

30 ABY
Medical Frigate, Third Fleet, In orbit over Coruscant
Hours after the Liberation of Coruscant

Leia walked into the room and stopped immediately when she saw Anakin. Her son was an island of grief in a sea of concerned beings.

Leia steeled herself for the conversation she was about to have, then stepped over and took a seat next to Anakin and rubbed a hand over his back.

“Hey,” she said softly.

He looked up, his eyes red-rimmed, but he didn’t say anything, then he looked back down.

“Have the medics come out yet?”

Anakin nodded his head, but only sighed.

Leia gave it a moment, then asked what they said.

Anakin sighed again, then, in a quiet voice explained; “The amphistaff shattered several ribs and shredded her right lung. Bone fragments from her ribs punctured her heart, the left lung, the aorta, the vena cava, and several other arteries and veins. If Jacen hadn’t deflected the amphistaff up and slowed it down it probably would have shattered her chest completely and killed her instantly.”

“So, Jacen saved her life?” Leia asked, trying to brighten Anakin’s mood.

Anakin shrugged. “Or… prolonged it by a few hours. We won’t know for a while. They’ve removed her heart and both lungs, they’re in bacta trays. They’re working on removing all the bone fragments and the bacta will hopefully heal all the damage. She’s on a bacta bypass machine…”

“You were on that when you were found.”

“I’m sure Darth Vader was too, sort of becoming a nice little family tradition.”

“Smart mouth.”

Anakin smiled weakly before going on. “Once the bacta does its job, if it works, they’ll put her heart and lungs back in her chest. If her body doesn’t reject the organs being replaced they’ll submerge her in bacta and then wait to see if she comes to.”

“So… when will we know if she’s going to be okay?”

Anakin closed his eyes and Leia could feel the pain rolling off him in the Force.

“They don’t know. If she doesn’t die in the next few hours, that would be astral. If she doesn’t die tomorrow, that would be really stellar too. If she isn’t dead next week, that would be awesome.”

“Somehow I don’t imagine that the medics worded it like that.”

“Between being a genius and having the Force… I’m pretty good at reading between the lines.”

“What did they actually say?”

“That a whole bunch of things need to go right before they can give me a better idea of the situation, but right now it’s ‘touch and go’. They have her in a sterile environment because her chest is open, so the organs can remain partially attached while they’re in the bacta trays, but that means that the risk of infection is high, because even a sterile environment isn’t totally sterile.”

“Does a sterile environment mean you can’t see her?”

Anakin shook his head. “If I’m lucky, they may let me in for a few minutes tomorrow, but I’ll only get to touch the top of her head, if they let me touch her at all.”

Leia nodded, then reached over and took Anakin’s hand and squeezed it, and the two sat silently for a few minutes before Leia spoke again.

“Jaina and Jag have gone over to the Lusankya to pick up Winter and Iella. They should be back in a couple of hours. They’re bringing Will over.”

Anakin closed his eyes for a long time, but didn’t say anything.

“I found some clothes for you on the Falcon, you have time to shower before they get here.”

Anakin nodded, then spoke. “Can you do me a favor, can you comm them and ask them not to come yet? I’m not ready.”

Leia hesitated for a moment, then pressed on. “Will needs to see you, honey. He felt it, and he needs to know that you’re okay.”

“But she’s not,” he whispered, “and I’m not ready. What am I going to say? I promised… I promised him I’d bring her home, and I didn’t. And what am I going to do without her? I can’t do this alone. I can’t raise him without her.”

“Anakin, look at me.” Leia reached over and took his chin in her hand and forced his gaze up. “When you were gone she never gave up on you. No matter what any of us said, she never gave up, and you aren’t going to give up on her. Every second she’s still alive, that’s a second she’s fighting to come back to you and Will. Every breath she takes with help or not, that’s a breath she’s taking so she can come back to you. She’s in there fighting like hell to live, she’s not giving up, and you aren’t going to give up on her, just like she didn’t give up on you. And what you are going to tell your son is that Momma has an owie and that she’s trying to get better and that the medics are helping her get better.”

“But what if she doesn’t get better?”

“We aren’t going to think about that. What we are going to think about is how strong she is, and that we love her, and that we want her to be okay and that she will be.”

Anakin let out a slightly hysterical chuckle. “So we’re going to live in denial?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, that is exactly what we are going to do. We are going to take a screen from your wife’s datapad. It worked for her, so we’re going to go with it. Like I said, she refused to believe that you were dead, she lived in denial, and it worked for her.

“In the meantime, you are covered in blood, and frankly, it's gross. You need to get cleaned up. It will help your state of mind tremendously to get out of those clothes and take a shower.”

“But… it’s her.”

“Anakin, you can’t do this to yourself. And you know very well that Tahiri would have a fit if she saw the condition you were in right now.”

Anakin closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. “She would. She’d also burn these clothes the minute I took them off.”

“Yes, she would. Now come on. Your father is standing outside with Jacen. They’ll take you to the shower. And it’s a water shower, not a sanisteam. Take as long as you need, shave, brush your teeth. If the medics have any more news I’ll come get you.”

“Promise?”

“Of course. I know exactly where you’ll be. I just got out of the shower myself.”

Anakin leaned his head onto Leia’s shoulder and whispered, “Thanks, Mom.”

Leia brushed his hair back and kissed his hair. “You’re welcome, Anakin.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin looked at the people around him and wondered if this was always the case; you didn’t know how loved you were until you were dead, and he wondered if this had been what it was like when everyone had thought he was dead.

He’d had a flash several days ago to those last hours on Eclipse, to watching the Tahiris, his Tahiri, and remembered thinking that no one loved her but him, thinking that no one would mourn her but him, and thought how different things were now.

The med center was packed.

The Lumbunts had all been given leave to spend as much time as they wanted or needed with their commander. Valin and Paloma had barely left Anakin’s side since they’d guided the Falcon here ten days ago. Moeller and Ryke had taken some of the others out on maneuvers, but only because they’d been going a little stir-crazy, and needed a distraction.

The Wraiths had been coming and going, taking turns sitting vigil. Face and Kell had only left a few times, to be debriefed by the Intel agents Iella had assigned the task of finishing up the reports on the Coruscant mission. Anakin could tell that they were suffering over what was going on. He’d actually overheard them talking at one point; wondering if there’d been anything they could or should have done differently. Anakin had instantly translated that into guilt on his own part; was there anything he should have done differently.

The Commandos had taken up residence, never leaving Will’s side. They’d come over on the Falcon when Jaina and Jag had gone to the Lusankya to retrieve them, Will, Iella and Winter. Leia had finally persuaded Anakin on day three that Will had to be brought over, and Anakin had finally agreed that his mother was right.

Wedge and Tycho had been coming and going as their schedules permitted, popping in to sit with Anakin or their wives, who had taken turns sitting with Anakin and Will when they could justify skipping out on work.

Apparently the Peace Treaty had been signed, or was being signed, or was being drawn up… Anakin wasn’t sure. But he did know that at some point, when the Antilles and the Celchus and the Skywalkers hadn't been with him on the med frigate, they were actually participating in a major Galactic event. Anakin just wasn’t sure what it was, and, frankly, didn’t care.

Anakin’s parents and brother and sister had been present for most of the past ten days, making sure Anakin and Will had anything they might need or want, which wasn’t much, but Anakin appreciated the gestures.

There were even a fair number of Jedi who had found their way to the med frigate, which surprised Anakin, since neither he nor Tahiri had seen many of them in the past two years.

When Anakin had time to think, or cared to, he’d found the situation ironic.

Tahiri had no idea how loved she was, how missed she would be and it seemed that it was a cruel fact of life that it was only when it was over, or hanging in the balance, that one’s importance became evident. Here, crowding a small observation room were all these people, telling Anakin how much they cared for Tahiri, people who hadn’t taken the time to tell her that they cared, people who had taken the time to tell her that they didn’t agree with choices she’d made in her life, and she was unconscious when they made an effort to share their new-found feelings.

Bastards.

Anakin closed his eyes and rolled his head from side to side, trying to work the kinks out of his neck, but it didn’t really help. He’d been sitting up for what felt like months, in the same chair, staring at the same bacta tank, praying, willing, begging the Force for Tahiri to open her eyes.

Actually, he wasn’t picky; he didn’t need her awake, at this point he’d settle for semi-conscious. That might be enough to at least feel her in the Force.

When Iella and Winter had brought Will in on the third day, Anakin had taken his son, the child’s eyes swollen from crying, and hugged him to his chest. Will had then leaned back, rubbed his own chest and said, “No Mama.”

Anakin had swallowed the lump in his throat and replied, “Mama’s night, night.”

Will wasn’t a stupid child.

“No Mama nigh, nigh.” He’d then rubbed his chest again, the spot right over his heart, and repeated, “no Mama.”

Anakin knew exactly what his son was trying to say; Will couldn’t feel Tahiri in the Force. Neither could Anakin. Tahiri was comatose. Not reaching back. Practically void.

Anakin’s response? “Mama sustained a severe chest injury during the Liberation of Coruscant.”

Leia had batted the back of Anakin’s head, clearly not impressed with how he was handling the situation, but Will’s little blonde brows had instantly knit together as he’d tilted his head, starring at Anakin for a long moment, then he’d asked; “Mama owie?”

Several of the adults in the room had chuckled at the exchange, but Anakin just smiled, then leaned forward and kissed his son’s head before saying, “Yeah, Mama has an owie. A big owie.”

“Em –ee may id beh-erh?”

“Yeah, MD is trying to make it better.”

Then Will had leaned back into Anakin, shoved a thumb into his mouth and grasped a handful of Anakin’s hair in his other hand.

It wasn’t a handful of Tahiri’s hair, but it was all Anakin could give him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin rolled onto his side and wondered why it had taken fourteen days for someone to think to bring a med bed into the observation room for him to lie on.

It wasn’t that he’d actually have slept at any point in the past two weeks, but it still would have been nice to have lain down.

Of all the things that people had brought him; clothes, food, datapads, puzzles, holovids, novels, reports…

Seriously? His wife was dying and someone thought he was going to read and sign performance evaluations?

And no one had thought that he might want to lie down?

Of course, he hadn’t asked anyone to bring him a bed in the fourteen days that he’d been sitting in a chair staring at his dying wife either.

He rolled over again, trying to find a comfortable position, and realized that maybe the reason he hadn’t thought of it was that it didn’t really matter whether or not he was sitting up or lying down; watching your wife’s life hang in the balance was not conducive to resting.

During the first several days, every time he closed his eyes he saw images of Jacen leaning over Tahiri, the two of them soaked in blood, a gaping wound, larger than Anakin’s fist, in Tahiri’s chest, bubbles gurgling up through the blood.

More visions, worse visions, came after he’d been allowed in to see her in the sterile room. Images of her cut open from her collarbone to her stomach, organs lifted out of her body and sitting in dishes placed on trays beside her. In the worst of the visions she was awake and talking to him, which somehow, was more disturbing than in the visions where her eyes were closed. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that in all of those visions she was talking, always wanting to know why he hadn’t stopped Omini from hurting her, why he had failed to save her.

In those first few days, he wasn’t sorry to be missing out on sleep.

Now, the dreams weren’t quite as gruesome, they were less graphic, more emotional, but all had the same theme; where was he when she needed him? Why hadn’t he stopped Omini from hurting her? Why hadn’t he helped her? Where was he when she went down? Why hadn’t he gotten to her side before Jacen put her into the trance? Why were her last few moments spent with Jacen and not him?

The two questions that haunted him the most were; why did it take him so long to get to her side, and why did she spend her last few moments with Jacen?

And the answers were; it all happened so fast, and it all happened so fast.

From the moment the amphistaff left Omini’s hand, to the moment Anakin reached her side was less than four minutes. Anakin had run, dodged other beings, jumped over fallen bodies, tripped and righted himself twice, covered a grand total of less than a hundred meters, and Jacen had still gotten Tahiri into the trance before Anakin had gotten to her side.

That was a good thing though. Had it taken longer, Tahiri might have died. But Anakin had missed seeing her, or getting her into a trance himself.

There was another aspect of Jacen putting Tahiri into the healing trance that was gnawing at Anakin, something that popped into his head every few hours and terrified him, something that had caused him to steer clear of his brother since they’d been on the med frigate and he was dreading the possibility of Jacen bringing up again; Jacen had pushed on Tahiri’s mind. Jacen had commented on how hard Tahiri had resisted him. Tahiri had a large gaping chest wound that was about to kill her, Tahiri was on the verge of death, but had still fought Jacen’s help.

Because she didn’t want Jacen in her head.

Did Tahiri give anything away?

Did it matter anymore?

Did Anakin care?

If faced with the possibility of losing Tahiri, of having to face life without her, did he care what happened to the Jedi, or his brother, or the Sith?

No, he didn’t.

Anakin tried to cling to Leia’s advice, tried to live in denial, tried to tell himself that Tahiri was going to be okay, that she was going to wake up, and, as one day bled into the next, as the first week slipped slowly into the second, as her organs healed and were, one by one, returned to her body and she was finally submerged into a bacta tank, Anakin had to admit, things were looking good, but between not being able to feel her, and his growing fear of Jacen, it was still hard to sleep. No matter what time it was, no matter how long it had been since he’d closed his eyes for any real length of time, no matter that he should have done his own healing trance, no matter that he was long overdue for dialysis and should have been eating more cookies, he knew he wasn’t going to get any significant rest until Tahiri opened her eyes.

And then he was going to sleep like the dead.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anakin lay flat on his back on his med bed trying to shut out the noise around him, with little success.

Paloma and Valin were on the floor with Will eating cake, or, trying to keep Will from getting cake all over the place.

The Holds were passing whiskey around to the Solos and the Skywalkers and the Commandos and the Lumbonts, and anyone else who wanted some.

Face and Kell were regaling everyone who hadn’t been on Coruscant with stories of the trek to the Sacred Precinct, even though everyone who hadn’t been there had already heard the stories.

Corran had even told a story. About Anakin and Tahiri and the airless locker in the space station over Yag’Dhul.

It was Tahiri’s birthday and everyone felt like celebrating.

The fact that the guest of honor was currently all but naked and floating for the eighth consecutive day in bacta, after ten days of being laid out on a slab like a side of nerf in a sterile room, wasn’t dampening anyone’s good time. In fact, it seemed to be adding to everyone’s giddiness. Which was the only word Anakin could think of to describe the mood.

Anakin wasn’t feeling particularly giddy.

In fact, he was feeling cranky. It didn’t seem right that his wife was missing out on her own birthday and had been very vocal about not wanting to have a party, but his mother had ignored his protests. She seemed to think everyone else needed to cut loose, and that Tahiri would be glad that three weeks after nearly dying it was only a matter of time before she would wake up, nearly fully recovered, and that her family was celebrating her life, and the fact that she had a life to live.

As cranky as Anakin was, he’d found it hard to argue that, so he’d let them have their little celebration and had shoved his med bed into a corner of the observation room and stayed on it, and out of everyone’s way.

He and Tahiri would have their own celebration when she woke the kriff up and he was released from the hell he’d been enduring since the moment she’d gone down.

Anakin took a deep breath and reached for the Force, reached for calm, and, amazingly, found it. Found calm, and peace, and warmth that had been absent for so long. Then he sat bolt upright and turned to face the tank.

Will had turned too, and Anakin got off the med bed just in time to see Will walk over and place his hand on the transparisteel wall between them and the tank, fingers splayed out, as a hand inside the tank reached down to mirror his.

“Hi Mama.”

Anakin felt, more than saw, all the eyes of the room follow him as he joined his son.

Will turned his little face up to Anakin, a wide smile lighting his features.

“Mama no mo owie.”

Anakin nodded, then faced the tank, and watched Tahiri straighten, watched her press her hands to the glass again, four fingers of one hand held up, two fingers of the other.

Forty-two.

Anakin held his own hands up, and nodded, then watched her kick her feet, propelling herself up to the top of the tank, and slam her fist against the lid.

She wanted out.

Twenty minutes later a medic opened the door to the observation room.

“Colonel Solo, Agent Veila is being put into the shower…”

Anakin didn’t wait for the rest, and faintly heard the medic tell the rest of the room that someone might want to get him some dry clothes, and then heard laughter. But he didn’t care, because by that point he had Tahiri back, and she was in his arms, and she was whole, and she was safe, and the war was over.

Chapter Text

Epilogue
Love Is Stronger Than Death

30 ABY
Third Fleet Medical Frigate
A month after the Liberation of Coruscant

“You really don’t have to take him,” Tahiri protested. “Anakin will be back any minute, we’ll be fine on our own until he gets here.”

“Tahiri…”

Iella’s tone of voice matched her warning look and Tahiri knew that fighting was useless. Even though Will was about to take a nap, getting him to actually take a nap would require energy Tahiri simply didn’t possess yet. Besides that, once he’d been wrestled into sleep, Will really would rest better in the next room; in the med room that had been converted into a makeshift nursery.

“Alright,” she sighed, and then quickly tried to pretend that the gesture wasn’t agonizing. The coughing fit that immediately followed gave her away though.

“Ah uh,” Iella scolded. “When are you going to stop being so stubborn and just lay back and let us take care of you?”

When Tahiri caught her breath she gave Iella a sheepish grin, then half whispered, “Okay, okay, you win. Take him. I’ll just lay here like the invalid that I am.”

Iella leaned over and smoothed a hand over Tahiri’s hair before kissing her forehead. “You know very well I don’t mind, and you are not an invalid. You are recovering from a wound that would have killed anyone else and you will, miraculously, be up and back to your old self in no time. So quit feeling sorry for yourself because you aren’t already taking down Bram and Junip and kiss your son.”

Iella leaned Will over Tahiri for a kiss, which he happily accepted.

“Now,” Iella continued, “Anakin will sear me if he comes back and you’re tired out, so I expect you to nap as well.”

Tahiri smiled as Iella turned toward the door and Will waved over her shoulder then sank back into her pillows. She was almost asleep, just on the verge of oblivion, when a presence she’d been praying she wouldn’t have to face alone approached her room.

“Oh, kriff.”

So far both she and Anakin had managed to avoid this, but they both knew they couldn’t get away with it forever, and apparently her time was up, as the gentle knocking on the door proved.

“Come in,” she whispered.

When the door didn’t open, she used the Force to trigger the switch. Her lungs were still too weak for her to speak loudly enough to be heard out in the hall.

“Hey,” Jacen said. “I’m not disturbing you, am I?”

Disturbing wasn’t quite the word Tahiri would use, but what could she say?

“No, I’m just… laying around.” Deciding she couldn’t escape the inevitable, and knowing that leaving him standing in the doorway was rude, she finally said, “Come on in.”

He did, though he seemed nervous, shuffling a bit, reminding Tahiri a little of what he was like back during their academy days.

“You look… good.”

She laughed at that, or wheezed rather.

“Anything would have to be an improvement over the last few times you saw me.”

Jacen grinned, then reached up to rub the back of his neck. “Yeah, that’s true.”

“Between covered in gore with a giant hole in my chest and naked in a bacta tank… pale and barely able to talk above a whisper practically qualifies me for beauty queen status.”

“Hey, you’re alive, that’s all that matters. But enough about your stunning good looks, how are you feeling?”

Tahiri tried to take a breath, coughed a few times, then laughed, which made her cough some more.

“Wow,” Jacen chuckled as he stepped forward and sat on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t count on a demonstration.”

“Sorry. From what the medics say it’s going to take a few more weeks before the lungs are working at full capacity, and the muscles are still pretty tender, even with the healing trances. Thank the Force your brother hasn’t said anything funny in the last few days.”

“Has my brother said anything funny in the last few years?”

Tahiri grabbed her chest with one hand and shot the other one out at Jacen, an accusatory finger pointed at his face.

“Don’t you dare. If I end up back on a respirator because of you, I won’t protect you from Anakin.”

Jacen grabbed the hand pointed at his face and threaded his fingers with Tahiri’s while saying, “Sorry, I’ll do my best not to make you laugh. Though I have to admit, that’s one promise I’ve never had to make before.”

Tahiri thought for a second about pulling her hand away from Jacen’s, but he seemed very intent on holding it, like he needed to touch her, and for some reason, she felt like it was a small kindness that she should give him, so she allowed him to continue holding it.

“So, uhm, listen,” Jacen began, though he was now looking at the bed covers, not at Tahiri. “There’s something I need to ask you.”

“Yeah?”

And here we go.

“When you went down…”

Stall, stall. Anakin! Where are you?

“Thank you, by the way. I know that Anakin thanked you…”

“Tahiri, don’t. That’s not why I’m here. And I don’t want you to say ‘thank you’. I… I don’t know how to explain this, but somehow, hearing you say ‘thank you’… say ‘thank you’ when I pass the nerf butter at dinner. This isn’t a ‘thank you’ situation.”

Tahiri relaxed a little at that, and was glad she hadn’t pulled her hand away from Jacen’s and squeezed his fingers, and also regretted the ‘thank yous’ she’d expected or wanted from him in the past, because he was right: saving a life was not a ‘thank you’ situation.

“What I wanted to talk to you about, what I needed to say was, when I was trying to help you into the trance, there were thoughts, things you were thinking… I wasn’t trying to hear, or ‘eavesdrop’, they were just there, sort of running through your mind, and they sort of scared me.”

Tahiri just looked at Jacen, waited, hoped he’d give her a starting point, a place to jump off from, a place to begin her lie from. She also hoped Anakin would show up and either help her or that his arrival would end this.

But Anakin wasn’t showing up, and Jacen kept going.

“It was words, there were no images, just words, and feelings. And a lot of fear with the words and feelings.”

“Well…” Tahiri started, “I did think I was dying… so the fear is understandable.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t seem like fear related to what was happening. That’s the weird part. The part that stuck out, or what really startled me so much at first. It was more like fear for you and me, but not fear about you dying so much. And that was also part of what I found so weird. And there was also longing. There was this longing for Anakin, as though he’d been gone for a really long time, like for years. It didn’t feel like you just wanted him by your side right then, like you didn’t want to go into the trance until you saw him, but that you’d been waiting years to see him.”

Jacen was looking at Tahiri now as though he expected her to answer him, but he hadn’t actually asked her a question, so she just looked back at him, and tried to keep herself quiet in the Force while he continued.

“I know that sounds odd, to have been able to pick up so much in only a few seconds, but the feelings coming off of you were so intense, so powerful.”

Finally she felt like she had to give him something, so she went with the obvious: biology.

“Well, like I said, I was dying, and I was afraid, who knows how many millions of synapses were firing at random intervals, giving off bizarre information that had nothing to do with reality.”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true.”

“I mean, maybe for a second or two I was dead. All kinds of electrical impulses could have been at work, trying to get my heart beating again, or keep it beating. All kinds of crazy things could have been happening. I could have actually been one with the Force. You could have been feeling or hearing things that happened in the life of some other person.”

Oops. Stupid, stupid.

Jacen cocked his head at an odd angle and Tahiri thought she might have kicked herself if she’d had the ability to get out of bed and bend her leg that way.

“You know, it's funny you would say that. I’ve spent a month thinking about all this, and that’s sort of what it felt like; like I was hearing you relive someone else’s thoughts. As though someone had told you a story and you were remembering the story in your head while you were dying, only the words were sort of jumbled.”

Tahiri worked really hard to keep her breathing under control, worked to hide her fear and anxiety in the Force, worked really hard to pretend she couldn’t imagine what it was that Jacen was getting at as his gaze dropped again and he stared down at their joined fingers, seeming to contemplate his own words.

Then he came at her from a totally different angle.

“Do you know what a bloodfin is?”

“Hmmm.” She pretended to think. “It sounds vaguely familiar. Should I?” She asked, hoping he wouldn’t detect her deception if she only half lied.

“They’re a creature from the Outer Rim. ‘Bloodfin’ was one of the words that passed through your mind, and I was wondering why.”

“Like I said…”

“I know,” he sighed. “I was trying to figure out some things.” Jacen ran his free hand through his hair again, obviously becoming more agitated, then nearly knocked Tahiri off her bed when he asked, “Do you think you and I could ever go Sith?”

She looked at him for a long moment, then finally whispered, “What in the stars would ever make you think that?”

“It’s just that when I was trying to get you into the trance, I felt so much darkness, about us specifically, you and me, and I’ve been trying to figure it all out.”

Tahiri took as deep a breath as her still weak lungs would allow, and placed her own free hand over their clasped ones. “Jacen, I was dying, I was scared, I was terrified. Any darkness you might have felt was likely due to that. I’m sorry, but that’s all I can think to tell you.”

“And the Force has never shown you anything? I mean, about this?”

Tahiri closed her eyes, and made a decision she hoped she wouldn’t live to regret. “I think the Force speaks to us at different times in different ways and for different reasons. When I got pregnant with Will, I believe it was the will of the Force that I found him before Myrkr.”

Jacen chuckled lightly. “The ‘will of the Force’?”

“Exactly. Had I not found him when I did, and told Anakin, I would have gone on that mission with you, and I know, in my heart, that things would have been very different. Instead of losing Anakin for a year, I truly believe that we would have lost him for good. Don’t ask me how I know that, I just do. I also know that had that mission gone differently, had Anakin never come home, had I not had Will, a lot of our lives would have gone very differently. But Anakin did make it back, and I did have Will and as a result, you and I, and everyone else who matters to us, are on a different trajectory than we would, or could, have been on.”

“So you’re saying that if it weren’t for Will, and if Anakin had died, you and I could have gone Sith?”

“I’m saying life is a fragile thing. Had I not told Anakin about Will, as Leia had once wished, things could have been very different. Or, had I told him and gone to Myrkr anyway, things could have been very different. Things that seem like small choices, or small events, send ripples out into the galaxy and the farther away from the choices those ripples go, the larger the ripples become, until they are waves.”

“You and me becoming Sith would certainly make waves.”

“Large waves, with the impact of huge surf crashing on a beach and wiping out sand castles.”

“We could do a lot of damage.”

Tahiri chuckled. “Hypothetically.”

“Your little Will of the Force should be thanked.”

Tahiri leaned forward and looked deep into Jacen’s eyes. “Do you trust me?”

When he hesitated she squeezed his hand again and went on.

“The biggest lesson I’ve learned in the last three years is that the Force comes to you when the Force decides it wants something or needs something from you and that’s where the fine balance lies; in knowing how to interpret and act on what the Force tells you. And I think it knows what it’s doing, and when it wants something from you it will come to you and let you know.”

“So the Force wants me to be ignorant.”

“Hardly, it just doesn’t need you to know anything specific at this point.”

“So, I guess I’ll just hang out and wait for it to comm me?”

“That’s what I’d do.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“One other piece of advice. Don’t go wandering off. Your family needs you. Stay here with us. We love you.”

Jacen nodded slightly, then leaned forward to kiss Tahiri’s forehead.

“Hey… if there is any kissing of my wife to be done… I should be doing it.”

Nice timing Solo…

Jacen smiled at Tahiri, then turned to his brother and said, “I was just thanking her for not dying on me. I really wasn’t looking forward to you blaming me for that one.”

Tahiri grinned as well, but it was when she peered out from behind Jacen, and smiled at Anakin and mouthed ‘we’re good’ that she felt his relief in the Force, because they’d done it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

32 ABY
Third Fleet Medical Frigate
15 months after the Liberation of Coruscant

Tahiri stood at the counter in the med center signing datapads.

She glanced through the document, signed her name, moved it to the ‘signed’ stack, then continued on to the next one; glanced through the document, signed her name.

Move, glance, sign...

Tahiri Veila Solo…

Tahiri Veila Solo…

Tahiri Veila Solo…

“Look at you out of bed. Iella got you back to work already?”

Tahiri looked up to see her in-laws coming down the hall and smiled.

“Even if I didn’t have work, there’s no room for me in there,” she said, nodding toward the doorway behind her.

She watched Han take in the sight on the other side of the door; Anakin curled up on his side… in the middle of her med bed, snoring.

“He must really be out if he didn’t notice you getting up and leaving the room.”

Tahiri smiled, and felt her heart swell with love. “He’s exhausted. He’s been through a lot.”

Han snorted. “Yeah, watching you give birth really took it out of him.”

Tahiri laughed while Leia batted her husband affectionately on the chest. But she was quick to defend her own husband.

“It actually did take a lot out of him. After missing Will’s birth, and then thinking I was going to die last year, and then going through the pregnancy, and then getting to watch her being born. It was very emotional for him.”

“And does ‘her’ have a name yet?” Leia asked.

Tahiri sighed unhappily. “No. At least not anything we can agree on.”

Han laughed gently. “Still not going for the commemorative names?”

Tahiri groaned as Han continued.

“You really didn’t like Bacta Solo?”

“My daughter was not conceived in a bacta tank,” Tahiri gritted out.

“Med Center Shower Solo?” Han continued.

“Ugghh. And she was not conceived in a med center shower, and you all damn well know it. Aside from the timing being way off, it wasn’t even physically possible… I was still on a respirator.” Tahiri huffed while her in-laws laughed. “It wasn’t even really a shower. They were just rinsing the bacta off of me. I could kill him for that one.”

It was Leia who defended Anakin this time. “He was very happy you were okay, I think he just thought it would be nice to mark the occasion.”

“Well he’s not marking it by naming our daughter for a place she wasn’t even conceived in.”

“I thought Lusankya Solo was a good suggestion,” Han went on. “We could have called her Lucy for short.”

Tahiri rolled her eyes then looked at Leia. “Now that I know where Anakin got his sense of humor… I’m wondering how you’ve put up with it for so long.”

“Will’s wife will be asking you the same question in thirty years.”

“Speaking of my grandson,” Han cut in, “where is the little guy?”

“He and Unka Acen are on a man date; lunch and the zoo.”

“You let Jacen take Will planetside?” Han and Leia asked in disbelieving unison.

Tahiri laughed then answered. “Well, Bram, Junip, Paloma, Valin and Stoker all went too, so I figured they couldn’t get into too much trouble. But I told the guys to keep about twenty meters back so Jacen feels like he’s actually doing the work and to only step in if Jacen really looks like he’s in trouble. Lomi went along to shop, and Valin just needed to feel solid earth beneath his feet.”

“So the odds of still having a son and a grandson at the end of the day are pretty good then?” Han decided.

“I’d say so,” Tahiri confirmed. “And you know Anakin would never have agreed to it if he didn’t think Jacen was in good hands.”

“I never would have agreed to what?” Anakin asked through a yawn, as he shuffled into the hall, cradling his infant daughter.

Tahiri felt waves of joy and pleasure and love wash over her at the sight of her husband and little girl, and reached out to take the baby, then cuddled her and rubbed her cheek against the tiny pink one.

“Hello...” She said to the tiny bundle, then sighed and turned to Anakin. “Anything?”

Han and Leia both laughed again.

“Actually,” Anakin said, the wide grin on his face telling Tahiri that he had it, that he’d finally come up with the name. “And I can’t for the life of me figure out why it’s taken me this long. I should have had this instantly. I should have had this years ago. In fact, I should have known this when we were fifteen and seventeen. I should have always known we were going to have a daughter with this name.”

Tahiri was nearly bouncing now. “Anakin, what is it.”

Anakin put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead, then looked into her eyes. “I want to name her for the two people in the galaxy that I owe the largest debt of gratitude to…”

From beside them, Han made a gruff, ‘ah shucks’ sound, and Tahiri turned so see his chest puffing out.

Anakin got a slightly uncomfortable look on his face, before saying, “Ah, sorry Dad…”, as Tahiri realized that Han had misunderstood where Anakin had been going with his announcement, but Tahiri still wasn’t sure where he was going.

As Han’s chest deflated, Tahiri turned back to face Anakin full on, his hands still on her shoulders as he looked into her eyes again.

“I want to name our daughter for the two people I owe the greatest debt to but can never thank. The two people who gave me you; Tryst and Cassa. I want to name our baby Tessa.”

Tahiri felt her jaw drop, then her lower lip began to quiver as her chest began to ache with the intensity of the love she felt for Anakin, and how loved she felt. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get any words out, so she simply nodded her head, then leaned forward to press her lips to his, and reached up and threaded her fingers into his hair to hold him close. She finally pulled away when she felt the cool wetness of tears running down her cheeks.

“Tell me you’re crying because you’re hormonal and happy and touched and you like the name and not because you’re hormonal and about to whip out your lightsaber like you did when I suggested ‘Bacta Solo’.”

Tahiri laughed through her tears, then finally said, “It’s beautiful, and you’re beautiful, and I love you.”

“I love you, too Tahiri;” then Anakin wrapped one arm around her and pulled her tight against his body, and with the other, reached up and ran his hand over the little bald head of their daughter and whispered, “and I love you, Tessa Solo.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

28 ABY
Eclipse Station, Deep Core

Tahiri took a deep breath and rubbed Anakin’s shin, then lifted his legs off her own and stood up, and stretched.

She turned to face the bed and Anakin stood to join her. It was still awkward at times, just being with him. He wasn’t her Anakin, yet he looked just like him, talked just like him, smelled just like him. And sometimes watching the two of them, Anakin and his Tahiri, touch each other, was like feeling a vibroblade being driven into her heart.

She should have had that.

She had had that, and it had been taken away from her. He had thrown it away. He had thrown their lives and their future and their baby away and he didn’t even know it.

She wondered if this Tahiri, Younger Tahiri…

Typical kriffing Anakin, categorize, separate, quantify… find a box and a reason and a purpose for everything…

Would Tahiri tell Anakin about the baby? And if she did, would it make a difference? Would he be so reckless? Would he leave her behind? Would this Anakin make better choices because he knew and understood exactly what he had to live for?

Anakin wrapped her in a tight hug and she melted into him as he tucked her head under his chin, swaying slightly as he stroked her hair. After a moment, he pulled back and placed a long kiss on her lips, then lifted his mouth and kissed her forehead.

Looking deeply into her eyes, he said, “Thank you. I really can’t think of anything else to say, except maybe, I know he loves you, and I know he’s going to be very happy to see you when this is all done.”

She smiled slightly at that. “I hope you’re right. He’s going to be so upset with some of the stuff I’ve done.”

Shaking his head, Anakin smiled, then tucked her hair behind her ear, just like he used to do. “He’s already forgiven you.”

Oh, Force I hope you’re right.

One of her greatest fears, what had been keeping her up at night since Shedu Maad, was the idea of finally being reunited with Anakin in death, and his not forgiving her.

“Thank you. You’re not my Anakin, but you’re a wonderful man, and I’m really grateful that we’ve had this time together.”

“Me too. For more than just the obvious reasons.”

Younger Tahiri stood up to join them and Tahiri turned to face her, then hugged her hard and sighed again before stepping back and cupping her face.

“Remember; there is no right or wrong choice, only the one you can live with.”

Younger Tahiri burst into tears again. The poor girl had cried a lot today. Tahiri rubbed her back and told her; “You are far stronger than you think, and you are going to have to be far stronger than that, but you’ll be okay, no matter what choice you make. I promise.”

“Okay.”

“Now, have a good life. If I run into you again and you’ve kriffed this up, we’re going to have words.”

Younger Tahiri just snorted a laugh.

Stepping back from them, Tahiri tilted her head and smiled. “Goodbye Anakin and Tahiri. May the Force be with you both.”

“May the Force be…” they whispered, but she didn’t wait for them to finish the phrase, she simply let go of the flow… and they were gone.

The room that moments ago had been filled with Anakin’s machine parts and droid bits, Younger Tahiri’s datapads and spare clothes, the couple’s few holos that hadn’t been packed up yet, now only contained the air canisters, Tahiri’s lightsaber, and the bed the three had all been sitting on just moments ago.

Three of those air canisters were empty, the fourth almost. The indicators told her there were only a few minutes of clean air left; less than five minutes to go.

Her original plan had been to use her lightsaber to kill herself when she’d come back this time, but was that necessary? Was that how she wanted to do it? Was she ready? Did it matter? Was simply lying back down on the bed and going to sleep a better way to do this?

Sighing, she took her blade from the counter at the head of the bed and lay down and closed her eyes.

The timing mechanism on the last air canister began to chime; a mechanized warning to anyone near that the clean air was gone.

Tahiri ignored the sound and reached for the Force, allowed herself to drift off into its currents as she fought the fear welling up inside of her, fought the instinctive desire to gulp in the air that was quickly turning toxic around her.

She concentrated on the swirls and eddies, focused, and finally began to feel different, felt an otherness that she’d never felt before; felt a fear and loneliness that weren’t hers.

Younger Tahiri’s?

Then she realized; Anakin was gone.

They’d failed.

Almost instantly she felt another emotion. A bitter sweetness that was also new, and she felt a warm squiggly wetness that matched a weight in her arms.

The will of the Force.

Will.

Their baby.

Their baby had survived, and Tahiri was full of a joy she’d never known before because Younger Tahiri had a piece of Anakin that she’d never had.

Feelings and emotions and visions began to bombard her, memories from a life she hadn’t lived but should have, overwhelmed her senses.

And all the images were of Will.

Then… elation.

Anakin was alive. He’d been found and was alive and back with her.

Relief.

The war was over and they were okay.

Joy.

Another baby.

Tessa.

Years flew by. Celebrations, weddings, birthdays. Joys, sorrows, triumphs.

She watched friends get married…

Jaina and Jagged Fel.

Jacen and Eryl Bessa.

Valin Horn and Nelani Dinn.

More babies were born. Children grew up and had children of their own, and through it all Anakin was right there at Tahiri’s side, alive and happy and healthy.

Then the funerals began.

She watched as Anakin and Jacen and Jaina lit funeral pyres for first Han, then Leia, and finally Luke and Mara.

Then she watched as people she knew in her heart to be Will and Tessa and their own children lit a pyre for Anakin, but unlike the soul crushing agony she’d felt on Hapes all those years ago, this time she felt peace as she watched the flames lick up to consume the shell that had contained the spirit of her other half. This time she knew that he’d lived a full life, and this time she knew, she’d be joining him soon.

In the far-off distance the chiming sound of the canisters began to fade, so too did the colors of the world in Tahiri’s mind, until all she saw was white. The sounds of people talking and children laughing became a low hum until they were nothing, until she was nothing.

Silence surrounded her for a second and for an eternity, and then, she heard a low rustling, like wind blowing through the leaves of trees. As the sound became louder, more distinct, the sound became familiar, became a voice, a voice she’d known in her heart and in her mind and in her soul forever, calling to her, whispering to her, welcoming her home.

“Forty-two my love, forty-two.”

Chapter Text

Bonus Chapter
Fragile Deleted Scene

Anakin's A Solo... Through and Through...

30 ABY
Intel Office, Third Fleet Flagship Lusankya
8 Months After Anakin’s Return

Anakin walked into the outer office of the Intelligence Department and smiled at the receptionist. She was on the comm, so he took a seat in the waiting area; she knew why he was there, she’d let Tahiri know when she had a chance.

He smiled at Paloma, who was already sitting there with Will, who was playing with a set of stacking cubes.

Will was trying to eat the smallest of the cubes; Paloma was trying to get him to not eat the cubes. Will smiled at his father, then turned back to Paloma and offered to put the cube he’d been slobbering on into her mouth. When Paloma dodged the wet treat, Will looked up at Bram, standing behind them, and offered him the cube.

Bram wasn’t supposed to be watching Will, he was supposed to be watching for threats, but Anakin knew that in this small room, with Anakin only a few meters away, and Tahiri only down the hall, that Bram could do both at once, and smiled when Bram leaned over and allowed Will to shove the wet treat into his mouth.

That man was beyond indulgent.

Anakin pulled his datapad out of a pocket in the leg of his flightsuit. He figured he’d pass the time by reading a few more of the simm scores from pilots he’d tested that morning. He’d seen some really good pilots, a few he thought he’d really like to fly with, but something was missing; there were elements he needed for the unit that just hadn’t come up yet. He didn’t know if it was pilots, or a combination of pilots, or a vibe.

Maybe a name? He mused.

Tahiri had been teasing him relentlessly about that, the fact that he couldn’t even think of a name. She’d made several suggestions, most of which she’d barely been able to say while she laughed uncontrollably.

He wanted it to be right, and he’d had it with her mocking. The last time she’d started in on him he’d tackled her to their bed… their bed, in retaliation, tickling her until she could barely breathe, and then made her beg for forgiveness for teasing him. She’d shown appropriate contrition, and paid an acceptable penance, and not for the first time Anakin had been really, really happy with the new living arrangements; the fact that they were in their own quarters, in their own room, no longer had to sneak around.

He knew that there was something not right with the squad and he wasn’t ready to present his unit to Wedge and Tycho yet. He figured that the Force would show him eventually and that stressing out about it wasn’t going to do him any good, so he’d wait. If there was one thing he’d learned in all that had happened over the last year it was that relaxing and waiting to see what the Force had in store for him was the way to go; the Force would show him what the Force wanted him to know when the Force was good and ready.

And apparently, the Force wanted him to pay attention to the guy who had just walked into the office and asked to speak with Agent Veila.

He got an instant impression from Paloma that this guy was ‘something’, an instant impression that Bram had not told him about this guy and should have.

“I have an appointment, I think you’ll find that Agent Veila will be quite vexed to find that you’ve kept me waiting.”

Quite vexed?

Who talks like that? And why was this blow hard giving Angeline a hard time?

The Togruta that worked as Iella, Winter and Tahiri’s receptionist, a distant cousin of Paloma’s, couldn’t be any sweeter, and unlike her cousin, who had a evil streak a kilometer wide when provoked, Angeline would never stand up to abuse dished out by someone like this.

Just as Anakin and Paloma were both on the verge of stepping in, the creep finally accepted that Tahiri’s meeting had gone later than planned and she wasn’t available yet and sat down.

Lucky for him.

Still, something about this guy was just begging Anakin to engage.

“So... you trying to get in to see Agent Veila too?” He asked the man conversationally.

The creep was tall, though not as tall as Anakin, blonde, almost as blonde as Tahiri, with dark blue eyes. He looked at Anakin dismissively, and Anakin had to work to stifle a chuckle.

“She’s a hard woman to catch.” Anakin continued.

“She’s important. Her time’s valuable.”

Anakin felt a surge of emotion from Paloma, watched her shift slightly as Will turned toward Anakin. He realized she was trying to distract his son for him, so he could continue with the man sitting between them.

Anakin loved Paloma.

“So I hear. I’ve only been on ship a short time, haven’t seen as much of the agent as I’d like.”

The man looked Anakin over, a look of disdain turning his features cruel, and Anakin wondered if Tahiri typically attracted men like this. Then he realized; he had no idea whatsoever what type of men his wife attracted. He was the only man he’d ever known of that had been in her life. He had never thought to ask her if she’d dated while he’d been gone. He’d just assumed that she hadn’t; assumed that she’d been so consumed by grief, and pregnancy, that she hadn’t had a chance, or that it hadn’t occurred to her. Now that he gave it some thought though, it seemed silly. Why wouldn’t she have dated if he was supposed to have been dead? She was a beautiful woman; she was young, bright, funny, fun to be with. In an environment where plenty of men would be seeing her on a daily basis, seeing her showcasing her talents, why would he assume that she wouldn’t have had men throwing themselves at her?

If he were really dead would he want her to spend the rest of her life pining for him, living in misery, all alone? Isn’t that precisely what Older Tahiri had done? Isn’t that what had led to Older Tahiri’s downfall? Not getting on with her life and finding love again?

But did Anakin want Tahiri finding ‘love’ with the creep sitting next to him?

Or did this guy just seem like a creep because he was upset that his meeting was late and he was sitting next to Anakin?

One way to find out.

Anakin turned to speak again, then Creep’s voice replayed in Anakin’s mind.

I think you’ll find that Agent Veila will be quite vexed to find that you’ve kept me waiting.

Seeing Tahiri ‘vexed’ was one of Anakin’s favorite things, as long as she wasn’t ‘vexed’ with him, and he was curious as to whether or not she’d really be that ‘vexed’ by not getting to see this guy.

He used the Force to trigger the inner office comm switch on Angeline’s desk, winked at her when she rolled her eyes at him, then gave Creep his best Solo smile.

“I don’t suppose you could tell me anything about her? Agent Veila.”

“I beg your pardon?” Creep asked, clearly offended.

“I’m sorry, unless, of course, you’re here for the same reason I’m here, in which case, I can understand your not wanting to give me a hand in my pursuit.”

“I’m here for professional reasons. I hardly think speaking of Agent Veila in terms of ‘pursuit’ is appropriate.”

“Ah, yeah. I suppose that didn’t sound very gentlemanly.”

Creep looked uncomfortable, and shifted in his seat.

Bram was wearing his best ‘soldier’ look; totally emotionless. Anakin was going to have to find out later why Bram had never mentioned Creep to him, because he could feel that Creep should have been mentioned.

“Though I must admit, I’m a little confused, isn’t she married?” Anakin asked. “I’ve been having a hard time figuring out what the deal is with her husband.”

That opened the floodgates; and Anakin had to stifle another laugh at the fact that that was all it took.

“Her ‘husband’,” Creep almost spit, “is hardly of consequence. He’s crazy and she kicked him out.”

“Really?” Anakin asked. “So she is available? I was almost afraid to hope.”

Anakin shot Paloma a look as she ducked behind Will, using him as a shield to hide her laughter, then turned his attention back to Creep, who was suddenly a wealth of information.

“Bastard attacked her; was horribly abusive. Could have killed her. She’s lucky to be away from him.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize.”

Anakin was suddenly grateful for all the therapy he’d been going to, and wondered how he would be taking this conversation had he not finally been able to fix things with Tahiri. Although, he had to admit; he had started this. And, he had to admit, he was going to pay for it, since he was the one that triggered the comm, making sure that Tahiri heard it too. Maybe she’d be ‘vexed’ with him afterall.

“After abandoning her and their child, he went crazy. Thankfully, Tahiri has a very strong support system here,” Creep was saying.

“Thankfully.” Anakin agreed, though Creep didn’t seem to notice.

“But she’s recovering, and she’s the strongest woman I know. She’ll be fine when all is said and done. It’s just a shame she’ll be forever linked to him through that child.”

“Oh…” Anakin was almost too stunned to react to that one. “You’re not fond of the child? I hear he’s a pretty cute kid.”

“It’s not that,” Creep back pedaled. “It’s just that she’ll never be truly free of the crazy husband as long as they share a child. But, he abandoned them once, if I’m lucky, he may very well abandon them again.”

“If you’re lucky?” Anakin asked. “Are you actually dating her? Are things serious? I didn’t realize.”

Creep blushed slightly, and Anakin watched in fascination.

“No, not… well, we’ve been… It's been difficult… our schedules have been hectic… it’s been a time issue really, and I’ve not been on ship as much as I’ve liked to have been.”

“How unfortunate for you.” Anakin commiserated. “I understand how that goes. Wanting to make time, being stuck some place you don’t want to be. Not being able to get to the place that special person is… I’ve been there. Literally. It’s rough. And the food sucks.”

Paloma choked on another laugh and Creep turned to her, but Anakin grabbed his attention back by asking another question.

“So, I apologize for seeming so forward, but I’ll be honest, I came down here myself to see if I could take Agent Veila to lunch. If that’s what you’re here for…” Anakin let the sentence trail off, and looked at Creep expectantly, dying to hear what the man would come back with.

“I’ve actually got a meeting with Agents Celchu and Wessiri. I requested that Agent Veila attend.”

“Ah, I see. So, maybe she just won’t be available for me. Well, I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes.”

Anakin turned in his chair, and pulled his datapad up again, shaking his head.

The man had backed down at the end, but still… he seemed truly territorial, and Anakin couldn’t quite figure out how this man could have deluded himself into thinking that he had any sort of claim on Tahiri. Even if Tahiri had thought Anakin was dead, even if she had mourned him and gotten on with her life, she was not the kind of woman who would put up with that behavior from a man.

Besides that, even though they’d been separated for three months, and then again during those horrible few weeks while they dealt with Anakin’s anger at Tahiri for what had gone on between her and his family on Hapes, Anakin knew she wouldn’t have been giving this guy any signs that she was interested in him.

That simply wasn’t possible.

He felt a little tingly sensation in the back of his mind and smiled. Tahiri was not as amused by his little stunt as Bram or Paloma had been. Whoever was in the conference room with her was though, then he felt her not so gently scold him, and slip away.

Creep turned back, and Angeline flicked the switch back on, and Creep had everyone’s full attention.

“So, I have to ask; you aren’t an Intelligence Officer are you?”

“No, I’m not.” Anakin smiled.

“Pilot?”

“Yes, among other things.”

“How is it that you know Agent Veila?”

Eww… that was tricky… how did he answer that, without out and out lying, but still having fun?

Creep didn’t give him a chance to come up with an answer though: “You said you haven’t been on ship that long.”

“Not that long. I saw a little of her when I first got here. Then I didn’t see her at all for a few months, but I’ve seen more of her recently.” Anakin grinned again, and added, “I saw her working out the other day though,” then let out a low whistle. “Stellar body.”

Creep smiled in a way that almost made Anakin want to wrap his hands around Creep’s neck… but then, Anakin reminded himself… he was the one who started this.

“Yeah, weird as all those Jedi are,” Creep said, “the conditioning isn’t for nothing.”

Anakin actually laughed at that. “Yeah, who cares about protecting the galaxy, it’s the smoking hot women I’m interested in. Maybe there are a few more around. Agent Veila might have friends, you know, so we don’t have to fight over her.”

“No one is going to be doing any fighting over me.”

Tahiri’s voice was cold as ice, and Anakin had to bite back another laugh as Creep jumped from his chair and stumbled towards her. She glared at him, then walked forward, hands on her hips, and glared at Anakin, then finally took Will from Paloma’s arms and fixed her, then Bram, with an arch look and scolded; “Don’t think you two aren’t in trouble too,” before turning back around.

Creep finally seemed to understand that it was Tahiri’s son, and his nanny, who had been sitting next to him throughout the conversation he’d just had with Anakin and immediately looked from Paloma to Tahiri a few times, his mouth working like a fish sucking in water, until he finally said, a little sheepishly, “It’s so good to see you again, Tah… Agent Veila. I’m sorry if the end of that conversation seemed inappropriate. I’m sure it sounded worse than it was.”

Creep then looked at Anakin, for help, or to blame him for the inappropriate conversation, Anakin couldn’t tell. Anakin just sat there, legs stretched out in front of him, hands clasped behind his head, and grinned widely.

Creep seemed confused as to why Anakin was so unperturbed by the whole situation. His confused expression changed to one of incredulity when Tahiri kicked Anakin’s feet, hard, and Anakin laughed.

Creep’s expression then turned to utter defeat when Anakin stood up, wrapped his arms around Tahiri and Will, kissed her forehead and said, “Hello my love, I came down to see what a man had to do to steal his wife away for lunch and was just chatting with your friend…” then he turned toward Creep and extended his hand and said, “I’m sorry, we never actually introduced ourselves. I’m Colonel Anakin Solo, Agent Veila’s crazy husband.”

That’s all folks!!

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