Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s a regular day in his supermax cell. Murdoc sneers straight at the cameras where no doubtedly the mindless little fragile guards are on the other side of. He plots the many, many ways he could snap their fragile necks - or perhaps take his time and slowly string them out like Christmas lights and make them sing. It’s been awhile since he’s done that and the sadistic urge to bring someone to their primal state where they're completely helpless, fearful and under his control is very compelling.

Murdoc misses the sight of their eyes - wide, watery and fearful. He misses the sense of power and satisfaction it brings him. He misses the scent of blood in the air, the squish of human flesh as one of his many, many tools cuts through. Why isn’t he out doing that right now?

Ah, right. Cassian. And dear ol MacGyver. If there’s anything that trumps Murdoc’s sadistic need to torture and murder, its his precious son Cassian. MacGyver had helped him see that, some months ago. They had arranged a deal; Murdoc went into federal custody and Cassian got a decent, safe home and a good childhood.

Neither MacGyver nor Murdoc had great childhoods. Murdoc knew MacGyver’s father had been absent, and despite being well into his twenties, MacGyver was still looking for him. Or maybe he had found daddy dearest?

Murdoc lets a slimmer of a memory of his father slip through his barricade. Anger, alcohol and agony. His childhood in three words. The less said the better. Murdoc knows that he claims that Nicholas Helman made him who he is, but that’s not true, not really. His abusive, drunkard of a failure of a father did that.

It was his only accomplishment, making a decent psychopath.

Sometimes Murdoc wonders if he had a normal childhood - would he be one of the mindless humans wandering around him, obvious to the true nature of the world? Psychopaths aren’t capable of love. Murdoc thought that was true of himself as well, until he laid eyes on Cassian.

He loves Cassian.

It’s a strong, overwhelming, all empassing feeling. Murdoc would stop at nothing for Cassian. If anyone hurt him, Murdoc would take his merry time ripping them limb from limb while decorating their body in sulfuric acid. He would burn the world for Cassian.

Besides Cassian… he doesn’t love anyone else. Sure, he felt something for Cassian’s mom - he admired her talents, her determination and perseverance, but it wasn’t love. He also feels something for MacGyver. Respect, admiration of his ability to accomplish literally anything and his lethal effectiveness - even if he did insist on not killing anyone.

Before him the lights in his cell shift colour bringing Murdoc out of his thoughts. Murdoc turns towards the large two way mirror in his cell and smiles. He has visitors, and there’s only one group of people that would dare to come to see Murdoc. Murdoc suppresses the urge to bare his teeth in a smile and rub his hands together in celebration.

MacGyver and his troops have come to visit.

As if on cue, MacGyver and Matilda Webber step into sight on the other side of the window. Murdoc grins and waves at them. Matilda keeps her expression neutral, as always. Murdoc respects her. She contains considerable power and she wields it well. She’s no MacGyver of course - her terrain of choice is moving chess pieces around the board from the curtains, which isn’t Murdoc favourite position (he prefers being the queen on the board, ripping and killing everyone) but she's a force to reckon with nonetheless.

MacGyver merely stares impassively at him. There’s a mirage of emotions in his eyes. Wariness, determination to complete whatever righteous mission they were on and a healthy amount of confidence, as if he knew Murdoc, the real Murdoc.

Well, considering how much Murdoc has told anyone about himself, his piece of shit father, Cassian, his paid and unpaid job - MacGyver does know him more than anyone else on the planet. Anyone alive, that is.

Murdoc watches, still grinning as MacGyver and Matty exchange glances before MacGyver presses the intercom.

“Hell-o MacGyver.” Murdoc drawls. “Nice to see you so soon - did you miss me?”

MacGyver snorts. “You wish. We’re here to ask for intel.” MacGyver reaches into his pocket and pulls out a photograph.

The photograph isn’t what catches Murdoc’s attention. It's the carefully telegraphed motion that Mac made when he reached into his pocket, specifically done not to aggravate the muscles in his torso, specifically the latissimus dorsi.

Murdoc knows this because he had done the same thing nearly constantly during the first seventeenth years of his life, before he took care of the problem. The memory sucks up Murdoc’s good mood, and he can feel the grin on his face shift into something else.

Outside the window Mac glances between Murdoc and his torso. “What are you staring at? Do I have something on me?”

“You tell me.” As far as Murdoc knows, MacGyver has a good team surrounding him. And even if that changed, Murdoc highly doubts protective bear Jack Dalton would let anyone hurt MacGyver like that. It must be something from the job then. While Mac is able to fight, Murdoc knows he’s not the best.

There’s a brief flicker of something across MacGyver’s face but Matilda speaks up before Murdoc’s able to figure out what it is.

“Stop playing Murdoc. You know the man in the photo, tell us everything you know.” Matilda Webber, straight forward and efficient as always.

Murdoc moves his attention to the photograph that MacGyver is holding up to the glass. It takes him a moment, but he eventually recalls the man. Robert Miller, son of Eric Miller. Eric Miller had been one of his targets, five maybe six years ago? He was an arms dealer that helped smuggle weapons over the US and Mexico border. Murdoc had gotten two million for putting two bullets in his chest and one in his head. Quality work, quality pay. Murdoc supposes Robert Miller had stepped up to take over his father’s job; he hadn’t cared enough to check after killing Eric.

“Hmm… he does look a bit familiar,” Murdoc muses, glancing at Matilda. “But I think I’ll need a little something to jog my memory.”

“What do you want?” MacGyver asks. “You already have twice the amount of room as a standard prison cell, regularly supervised calls with Cassian and we can’t risk giving you any items. We both remember how that ended last time.”

Despite himself Murdoc grins again. “My, my boy-scout, you’ve been keeping tabs on me? I’m flattered!”

MacGyver snorts and a half smile covers his face. “Of course, I got you here. Why wouldn’t I pay attention?”

MacGyver is amused, but with a healthy amount of caution. Murdoc likes seeing this side of MacGyver, the side that likes to analyse and indulge and play. In fact, he likes seeing that side almost as much as he likes seeing the side that only comes out when he’s locked in Murdoc’s room, pinned to a chair, singing with a needle in his arm flowing with drugs.

They are two sides of the same coin, as much as MacGyver doesn’t like to admit it.

Murdoc opens his mouth to reply, but someone new walks into the room. She’s shorter than him and MacGyver, but by the way she holds herself and walks, Murdoc can tell that she’s a fighter. She can handle herself in a fight.

Murdoc goes to issue a greeting, but the way MacGyver reacts stops the words in his throat. MacGyver is no longer half-smiling. His mouth is a thin line, pressed together in unhappiness. His expression closes off and something minute in his posture changes. Before, his posture was open. Alert, yes, but open nonetheless. Now it’s guarded and MacGyver almost seems to curl into himself.

The woman approaches the window where MacGyver is standing and MacGyver immediately shrinks away. It’s not obvious unless you’re looking for it, but the way the woman moves - she didn’t wait for MacGyver to move out of her way. If he didn’t move, she would’ve hit him.

Her face is etched in unhappiness and... Is that betrayal? She slams her hand against the glass and snarls. “Just tell us what we need to know, freak.”

Murdoc doesn’t miss the way MacGyver stops himself from flinching when her hand makes contact with the glass.

Murdoc is no idiot. He sees what’s happening here. He’s lived what’s happening here, for seventeen bloody years. How dare this piece of shit hurt his MacGyver and then come here demanding answers from him.

How dare she.

Murdoc knows what he looks like right now. He’s seen the coldness in his face reflected in his victims often enough, as he rips them limb from limb. He’s seen the fear in their eyes as he merely approaches before dealing the killing blow. He’s seen the way others - those who aren’t his target - flinch as a shiver rolls down their spine as he passes by them. Murdoc doesn’t feel their fear, but he knows it exists and he wields it the way he wields his guns, with familiarity and deadly accuracy.

Murdoc approaches the window silently, stalking his prey. Murdoc can see her grind her teeth, forcing herself to stay in place. But eventually she folds and steps back, just as they all do. Murdoc lets the corner of his mouth turn up in a cruel smirk.

“Well well well, you’re new. I don’t think we’ve met.” Murdoc practically whispers, hauntingly. “Let me tell you about myself. From you files, you think I’m a psychopath, a hitman for hire, right?”

The woman’s eyes are still angry, but there’s a glimmer of fear. Usually the sight brings some pleasure, but not now, not in this case.

‘That’s not entirely true. MacGyver over there, will tell you. Sure, I’m a hitman, but that’s only when I need the money. You see - I take all kinds of clients. Parents, friends, children who couldn’t get justice for their dead ones, they come to me. They paint horrific bloody pictures of their boyfriend, girlfriend, associate, parent abusing them for years until they finally beat them to death. They tell me how their dead loved ones tried to get away, and they recall how much they pleaded with the authorities to arrest the abusers, to lock them up. It never happens.”

Murdoc pauses, and waits for the meaning to sink in. “That’s where I come in. I take their cases. I hunt down their abusers, and take my time with them. Hours, sometimes even days. I peel the nails off one by one, and then their teeth, one by one. Next are the eyes, and if they aren’t dead yet, I take their tongue.”

The woman looks sick, but the sight brings Murdoc no pleasure. He continues. “And I do it for free.”

As fast as a snake, Murdoc slams his hand on the window, and she flinches back. The anger that was bubbling under his skin sears through, and Murdoc snarls angrily. “I know what did to him. I know you have your little claws sunk deep, deep inside MacGyver but I promise you, when I get out of here - and I will get out - the first thing I will do is hunt you down and take my dear time ripping you limb from limb as you scream yourself hoarse.”

The woman’s face is a picture of fear and horror. She staggers backwards, and then flees. With an urgent, yet thoughtful look at Murdoc and MacGyver, Matilda follows. MacGyver’s face is still closed off, but Murdoc catches a glimmer of shock through the cracks. After a brief, silent moment of staring at Murdoc, MacGyver follows.

Murdoc tries to shake the anger and the call for blood out of his hands. It doesn’t work, and Murdoc knows that it won’t, not while that woman is with MacGyver.

Chapter Text

Riley watches as Desi storms out of Murdoc's cell, her face a picture of anger and fear. Matty follows out, followed by Mac a moment later. Truth be told, she’s surprised that they got the intel out of Murdoc so quickly. She expected him to lead them around in drawing sentences and play mind games with Mac until Matty’s patience wore out at which point she would send Mac out and wild card.

The moment the door closes, Desi whirls around to face Mac. Riley recognizes her expression, it’s eerily similar to her expression when she had been accusing Mac of working with Codex. Internally Riley barely resists the urge to step in between them and defend Mac. She has to remind herself that Mac can handle himself, and it’s not her place to butt into their relationship.

Riley knows that sometimes, in fact most of the time Mac and Desi seemed really cute together, but there were moments like this one, where Desi got on her nerves. Frankly, she got on all of their nerves (aside from Russ). Riley, Bozer and Matty had all stood by as Mac and Desi screamed and fought, in the days leading up to codex. Riley remembered feeling guilty and wished she had done something - even just listening to Desi snarl at Mac wasn’t easy, despite not even being the target of her harsh words. But then Mac and Desi had gotten back together, and they seemed to be okay, and Riley figured that not intervening was the right call.

Desi opens her mouth, presumably to snarl something at Mac, but to Riley’s surprise Matty intervenes.

“Zip-it, Desi.” Matty orders, stepping between Mac and Desi. Riley startles at her tone; that’s the tone Matty uses with criminals and targets, not her own agents. What the hell happened? “I don’t want to hear anything from you. Go wait by the chopper.”

Riley watches as Desi locates her glare to Matty. “You can’t be serious! You’re believing Mu-”

“I said zip-it Desiree! Leave, now!” Matty raises her hand and points towards the exit.

Desi huffs and looks around incredulously at all the agents. She meets Riley’s eyes, then Mac’s, shakes her head and storms off, angrily muttering something under her breath.

The moment Desi is out of earshot, Matty turns around to Mac. Her voice is impossibly soft. “Mac, are you okay?”

Mac slumps against the wall behind him, looking defeated. “I’m fine, Matty.” Even his voice sounds defeated. Riley exchanges glances with Bozer. What the hell happened? “It’s not like that. Murdoc - he was wrong. It’s not like that.”

Riley has no idea what’s going, but there’s something about the way Mac speaks… It's almost like he’s trying to convince himself and Matty.

“Is it?” Matty responds, her voice still soft and kind. “Tell me what’s going on, Mac.”

Mac opens his mouth to respond, but as Riley watches no words come out. Mac looks down and fiddles with his fingers.

Besides her, Bozer speaks up. “I don’t know what is going on, but whatever it is, you can tell us.”

Riley immediately nods, because it’s true. “We’re here for you, Mac. Whatever it is, we can help.”

Hearing that, Mac makes a little snort. “Its - it’s my fault. When we were trying to take down Codex, I messed up. I saw that the team was divided and I didn’t think we would succeed. I didn’t tell Desi what I was planning to do, and I sucked all the oxygen out of the room and walked away as she fell unconscious.”

Mac’s voice cracks along with something inside of Riley. She reaches across and lays a comforting hand on his arm. Mac sniffs and quickly glances at her arm before continuing. “I messed up, and it’s my fault our relationship isn’t working. It’s tough on Desi - she can’t trust me, not after betraying her like that, not after what I did to her. I have to fix this.”

Riley’s heart breaks for Mac. She knew that there was something going on with Mac and Desi - that much was obvious, but she thought they are- were getting better. She had no idea that Mac was carrying around that heavy, single sided boulder of guilt.

Not to mention, Mac’s guilt was mostly misplaced. Sure, sucking all the oxygen out of the hallway and leaving Desi gasping wasn’t right at all, but his motivations to take down Codex were right. He had taken the right path - Riley was sure of this - and he shouldn’t have that on his conscience. Was Desi guilt-tripping him?

“Mac, I don’t know the full picture but from the moments I do know, Desi didn’t let you tell her what you were planning to do. She was yelling at you even before you knocked her unconscious.” Riley says carefully.

“It was still my fault.” Mac insists, his tone wet. “I…”

“Desi insisted on that?” Bozer confirms, waiting for Mac’s nod. Mac hesitates, and eventually reluctantly nods keeping his gaze down. “Mac, you were miserable. You didn’t leave?”

Riley notes Bozer’s exact words. You didn’t leave, not Why didn’t you leave; the latter which would’ve come off as accusing.

“We weren’t always bad. Before codex, we were good together. And even now, sometimes it’s almost like Codex never happened. I’ve lost so many people, I can’t lose her too.”

The grief and sadness in Mac’s voice is almost tangible. Riley carefully turns and pulls Mac into a hug. He does to reciprocate, but stops and hisses under his breath. It’s quiet, and Riley knows that she would’ve missed it if they weren’t in complete silence.

Riley draws back confused. Has Mac hurt his arm recently? Riley thinks back, and the last time

Mac hurt himself on an op several weeks ago. He had gotten kicked in the torso a couple times. But that couldn’t be it; that injury should’ve healed weeks ago. “Mac?”

Mac steps back and looks away, his behaviour stilted and skittish.

Riley goes to speak again, but Matty beats her to it. “Mac, has Desi ever gotten physical with you?”

Mac looks away and closes his eyes. “It wasn’t like that. I mean, technically it wasn’t even hard. I would have barely felt it if I wasn’t already injured.”

Riley feels like the floor has dropped out from her and she’s hurtling into outer space. Riley saw Mac nearly everyday, she saw Mac and Desi nearly every single day and she hadn’t suspected a thing. How many times had Mac walked past her with injuries from Desi?

“She shouldn’t be doing that.” Bozer says, his voice still soft yet firm. “That’s not fair to you - regardless of what happened between you guys with Codex.”

Riley nods. “Conflicts aren’t solved with fists, Mac. What she’s doing - that’s abusive.”

To Riley’s surprise, Mac agrees. “I know. I know, it’s just that - I wanted to believe so hard that we could make it work, you know? I’ve lost so many people - Nicki, Jill, Nasha, Charlie, Jack - I can’t - I can’t just-”

Mac’s voice breaks and Riley steps in, careful of his injury and hugs him. Mac buries his face in her shoulder and shakes. Riley rubs her arms on his back comfortingly and forces her own tears back. She’s known that Mac lost so many people but she thought he was handling it, as best as one could.

She should’ve checked in with him sooner. There’s so much Riley feels she should’ve done - but that’s in the past. Riley tries to push the guilt back. There’s nothing she can do to change the past now. Right now, Mac needs her - he needs them: her, Matty and Bozer - and Riley will be damned if she isn’t there for him.

Riley doesn’t know how long they stand there like that. At some point Bozer and Matty join the hug, and the three of them exchange glances over Mac.

Riley still doesn’t know what happened in the cell with Murdoc - but she recalls the types of clients Murdoc takes. She remembers the case they took a few years ago, when Mac impersonated Murdoc and found out that the old couple had hired Murdoc to avenge their daughter, who’s boyfriend had beat her to death.

If Murdoc’s standard customers are the victims of abuse, it kind of makes sense that it would’ve taken him only a moment to spot those traits in Mac. But still, the question remains.

How was Murdoc able to spot the traits on Mac, which Matty, Bozer and Riley have spent days, weeks with Mac and haven’t noticed anything?

Riley shares a look with Matty and Bozer, and she can tell that they are thinking the same thing as her. It took Murdoc to figure out that their family member was being abused, by another they assumed was family.

Riley pushes the thought backward. As alarming and saddening as it is, it isn’t important right now. What’s important now is getting rid of Desi, figuring out how much damage Desi did, and most of all, helping Mac recover.

The End.