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Chapter Text

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When eleven year old James Fleamont Potter wakes up for his first day of classes at Hogwarts, there's already someone awake.

And crying his eyes out, by the looks of it. Its sort of strange, because from what he remembers of yesterday, Sirius Black had certainly not been the homesick-crying sort.

James's first impression of Black makes little difference however, because right in front of the mirror, clutching his own face with a shocked, bewildered expression - he stands - tugging at his hair, with an air of hysteric mania about him.

James must have made a tiny noise of surprise, because Black spins around, wild-eyed - pointing at him with a shaky finger and says, "You're - you're alive! And, and my hair - they're, they're so soft!!"

There's a long, awkward pause as James absorbs that.

"Well, that's absolutely wonderful for you, Padfoot," a snide voice says from the corner and James looks back to see Peter Pettigrew sitting up on his bed, sneering. Which again, strikes him as wierd - because Pettigrew had seemed like a quiet, timid boy.

He had barely stuttered out his name yesterday.

And now here he was, smirking worse than a Malfoy.

Also, what does he mean by Padfoot - ?

Sirius is staring at Pettigrew too, mouth open. James and Remus Lupin, another kid in their house, exchange confused looks.

When the tension in the dormitory becomes too much, and James is just about to speak or atleast laugh nervously, Sirius's expression darkens and he lunges towards Pettigrew, wand in his hand like its natural - like he knows how to use it.

James stumbles out of bed at the same time as Pettigrew, who's even holding himself differently than yesterday - straight-backed and angry, none of the clumsy sheepishness of yesterday - wand in his hand, even though he looks slightly anxious.

Sirius advances alarmingly fast - his wand slashing downwards, as Pettigrew puts up a translucent shield, and the blue light bounces off. Sirius doesn't seem fazed, his expression savage - as he shoots beams and beams of curses - he's a first year! - and he smiles grimly when Pettigrew starts shooting spells too.

James is starting to get slightly worried about the condition of their dormitory, and about Pettigrew's health - but Remus is also standing next to him, looking as confused as James feels, and he's not doing anything either.

James doesn't need to be the responsible one and call the teachers, right? He's certainly not getting between the two.

As he watches, Pettigrew's gaze wanders from Sirius to James and Remus once, and Sirius fires up again, snarling a, "If you even look at James, you rat bastard - !"

Well. James can definitely say that he doesn't know what that's supposed to mean.

It sounds like Sirius feels protective of James, but five minutes ago, he was bawling about the softness of his hair and then he attacked Pettigrew like a nutter, so James can't very well be sure.

"What the fuck," Lupin mutters, decidedly, empathetically, as the large window behind Pettigrew's bed shatters and Sirius laughs a little manically.

Right when James thinks things can't get any stranger, the door of the dormitory swings and bangs open on its hinges and its -

The red-haired girl from yesterday, the one with the greasy, Slytherin friend and the really cool green eyes.

The wierd thing isn't that she's a first year girl at the door of the boys dormitory.

The wierd part isn't even that the stairs have turned into a slide, as if to prevent her from entering and she's - quite literally - levitating. She's flying. Outside the boys dormitory.

No. No, the wierd part is the way she's staring at James, green eyes wide and hopeful and watery, James hopes she hasn't been crying - he's utterly hopeless at consoling crying people, especially girls - her hands on her mouth, gasping as she looks at him.

"James," she whispers, incredulously and its all very dramatic except for the fact that James can't even remember her full name. "Have you come, too? Are you - are you - ?"

Come? From where? To where? Hogwarts? Gryffindor?

Sirius has stopped trying to kill his yearmate, for now and both Pettigrew and Sirius are staring at the flying girl, frozen in shock, eyes wide.

James just stares at her, probably looking horrified.

"Oh," she says, looking horribly disappointed and that makes James feel like shit, even though he's sure it isn't his fault, and enters the dormitory. "You haven’t."

Which is when, she sees the whole Sirius-Pettgrew destruction. Her expression contorts into pure white rage - and Pettigrew twitches, his hand flexing around his wand, expression shifty and scared.

"Merlin - Lily - " Sirius says, brokenly and that's strange, too, considering the fact that the girl - Lily, apparently - had seemed like she would rather avoid them all, after the whole train fiasco. "I - I didn't - "

"Sirius," she says, looking relieved, and rushes forward and they're both hugging and crying, and Pettigrew's looking awkward, glancing at the door like he's going to make a run for it.

James wonders if he can get Remus to hug him, too, if only for support in the we-don't-know-what's-going-on sort of way.

He's sure the shocking, odd happenings are over for the morning, and that they're going to get some answers now, but of course, not.

There's a deafening sound outside, from the common room, and a familiar kind of voice yells, and James can hear the anger in every syllable -

""I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THIS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH POTTER!!!!""

Lily dislodges herself from Sirius, and they both stare at each other, blinking.

"Snivellus," Sirius mutters, venomously, not even sounding surprised - just resigned. "Of course. This is just my luck."

"Your luck?" Lily asks, rolling her eyes, and waving her hands wildly towards James. "My husband is a short, scrawny kid, who doesn't even remember his marriage!"

There were a million things that James could have said at that point, number one being - You're both crazy and delusional and we should go to Professor McGonagall, or even - I'm not married! - but instead James says, sputtering indignantly, "I'm - I'm not - I'm not scrawny!"

Sirius scoffs.

"That's just what you think, love," Lily says, passing him an indulgent smile - like he's the one who's claiming to be married at age eleven.

Sirius hugs Lily again, and -

Pettigrew suddenly straightens up from where he had been cowering - and runs to the door. Sirius's eyes widen and Lily fumbles for her wand, like they've let a criminal escape.

There's a loud smack from just outside, and James hears Pettigrew cry out and another voice spitting out a couple of harsh, choice insults and colorful words -

Oh. Peter must have -

"Can you not watch where you're going, Wormtail!?!"

Sirius snorts, and then, proceeds to laugh so hard that he almost cries again.

Lupin sits down on his bed, sighing.

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Chapter Text

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Remus Lupin had come to Hogwarts expecting...well. 

Nothing. 

He'd expected nothing. According to his calculations, he shouldn't even have been sorted and should technically have been sent back home. (With pitchforks, though that wasn't as likely. The Wizarding World had come out of that phase.) 

Anyway, Remus Lupin had expected nothing.

He'd gotten  too  much. And not the normal kind.

After Peter Pettigrew, who'd turned out to be rather skilled behind all the shy smiles, had run out of the dormitory, another boy had come barging in, and Sirius Black had instantly reacted. Negatively.

"Get out,  Snivellus,"  Black says, now, looking so angry that Remus almost takes a step back. 

"Snivellus" or Snape, as Remus remembers from the Sorting, just stares back, unimpressed, unflinching.

"Well, look at that," Snape says, sneering at Sirius. "You lived an unnecessarily long life, died, and came back. And you're still the same  worthless,  arrogant - "

Died? Came back? What - 

"You know what they say about dogs and tails," Sirius interrupts, rolling his eyes. "They don't have a phrase for greasy bats yet, but I'm sure we can - "

"Oh, stop it," Lily Evans snaps, glaring at both of them. "We're not kids anymore. Grow up, both of you."

Snape blinks, and looks at her, like he's seeing her for the first time. Sirius looks like he's about to point his finger at Snape, and say,  'He started it!'

"Y-you," Snape stutters, staring at Lily, mouth wide open, looking rather pale, "you're b-back, too - "

"And so's Peter," Lily says, her nose wrinkled. "Who you just let go. That's why he ran."

"It's not like he can get very far," Snape says, distractedly, still looking at her. "He  is  just a first year. He can't exactly live on a run his whole life."

"Sure he can," Sirius huffs, as he pulls away from Lily and goes to his bedside mirror. Snape follows the movement with another impressive sneer. "It's rather easy when you can turn into a rat."

Remus feels like he's lost the plot.

James looks like he never  had  the plot. He's slowly, very slowly, making his bed, his eyes on Lily.

"Can you, though?" she asks, "turn into Padfoot, I mean?"

"Yeah," Sirius nods, humming, tying his hair back. "I can feel it, inside. It's...uh. It's there. The dog."

Snape snorts, and Sirius shoots him the evil eye, before continuing.

Lily glances at Snape worriedly, before turning to Sirius.

"I really feel like I'm missing something," she says, biting her lip.  Join the club,  Remus thinks. "Because, last I checked, Sev- " she narrows her eyes at him, "Severus. Was a death..." she sighs, "but you two seem rather familiar."

Snape’s face is red. He doesn't speak. Surprisingly, it's Sirius who does.

"He changed sides," Sirius says, dryly, like he doesn't believe it at all himself. "Apparently, he'd been a spy for the Order all along."

"Oh," Lily Evans' smile is slow and surprised and Remus watches curiously as Snape smiles back. He hadn't seemed capable of the emotion, really. "Severus, that's - "

"Hey, wait," Sirius says, suddenly, spinning around, "after I died, was- was Harry okay?"

"Harry?" Lily asks, stunned, her hands covering her mouth.  "My  Harry? He's...he...but Voldemort? Halloween?"

"On Halloween?" Sirius asks, eyes widening, shoulders slumping, "Oh. You don't know. Wait, wait, Snape, when did  you  die?"

"Salazar,"  Snape grinds his teeth. 

"Harry didn't die that night?" Lily asks, gasping as Sirius shakes his head.

"Did Wormtail die before or did you?" Sirius asks Snape, heatedly, and  oh wow, Remus should have just stayed at home.  "What happened to Harry?"

"I died after Pettigrew did," Snape says, stiffly, touching his neck and wincing. "In fact," he adds, with a thoughtful expression, "I think Potter killed Pettigrew. Or made him kill himself. It was gruesome."

"What?" James asks, (squeaks). "I didn't - "

"Harry wouldn't," Sirius cuts in, immediately. Lily opens and closes her mouth.

"Atleast  you're  not back," Snape tells James. "Small mercies."

Remus can feel James bristling, even though he probably understands nothing.

"Will one of you tell me how did my son  not  die?" Lily glares at Sirius.

It's an odd question, for a multitude of reasons.

"Love," Snape sounds bored. Sirius huffs out a laugh, Lily looks confused. "Your love protected your son, or...some such. Dumbledore had his theories. There was a prophecy and a sword and the three goddamn Hallows and seven - "

"It's a long story," Sirius surmises.

"And I'm tired of it," Snape nods, "I died for it. Your son probably died for it. Let's never bring it up again."

"Harry died for - " Sirius starts.

"I said, let's  never  bring it up again," Snape rubs his neck again.

"I'm so confused," Lily shakes her head. "Why only us? Why are  we  back?"

Snape's about to speak, but there's a knock on the door, and a boy with blonde hair pokes his head in.

"Carado-  yes?"  Sirius asks, his pitch rising nervously.

"The Prefects are saying that we have to move for breakfast," the boy tells them, looking suspiciously at Snape and Lily. "Also, why're  you  here? We just woke up! Did you come here at night?  You're not even supposed to be able to enter!" he says, too quickly.

"Yet here we are," Snape says, flatly, "go figure."

"We sleepwalk,"  Lily says at the same time, deadpan.
Snape snorts.

"That is the worst excuse I've ever heard," Sirius mutters, before raising his voice and continuing anyway, "but they're awake now. So, they'll just be coming. Go on, now."

"I'm a Second Year!" the boy says, indignantly, "Don't talk to me like that!"

"I really  hate  children," Snape glares at the Second Year boy, who valiantly tries not to fidget, looking uneasy under Snape's beady eyes. There's a pause, and the blonde boy, seemingly giving up, walks out.

"Yes," Sirius agrees, opening his trunk and looking inside, "that's  naturally  why you became a Hogwarts Professor."

"You did?!" Lily asks, clearly biting back a smile. 

"It was a  long  couple of years," Snape says, grimly. 

Sirius makes a frustrated noise, and takes out half his trunk, dumping everything on the ground. It's all green and silver, the robes, the ties, the night wear, all Slytherin colors. 

His Sorting must have been quite unplanned.

"You're going to get a Howler today," Snape says, tauntingly. 

"And I'm going to amplify it and  you're  going to have to listen to my mother's dulcet tones early in the morning," Sirius smiles right back. "You and the whole school, that is. It's going to be glorious."

"Sirius," Lily smacks him lightly on the shoulder, before looking at the door. "Alright, we'll talk later, yes? Severus come sit with us on the gryffindor table."

"Or don't," Sirius suggests.

"We should get ready," Lily ignores Sirius. "We can't exactly stop going to school."

"I'm sure we can try," Sirius shrugs.

Lily ignores him again. "I'm going back to my dorm," she says, "see you later, Sirius, Sev."

"Erm," James squints at her as she crosses him, just before she kisses him lightly on the cheek, and goes out.

It's a very short,  very  quick kiss. Like Remus's Dad and Ma before Dad goes for work. A peck, Remus would call it. 

James is definitely not used to it. 

He makes a choked, high-pitched noise in the back of his throat.

"Merlin," he gasps, his cheeks flaming red, touching the spot where she kissed it with one shaky finger like it's going to burn his fingers, still blinking at her disappearing back.

Snape looks disgusted. Sirius looks amused, but his smile is sad.





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"The  nerve  of him," Sirius fumes, glaring at Pettigrew across the breakfast table. He's sitting with a few Second and Third Years, already right in the centre of the group, casting glances to their side of the table. "I can't believe he's still here."

"I told you he can't exactly run away," Snape rolls his eyes. "He's going to have to stay here. And so are you."

"I'm going to strangle him in his sleep," Sirius promises, passing Remus the fried eggs. Remus hadn't asked for them, even though he does want to eat them. It's odd, the things Sirius Black seems to know. "I swear I am going to kill him.  Kill."

"You obviously can't," Snape hisses. "Or do you want to go to Azkaban again?"

"Again?" James and Lily repeat, at the same time, before side-eyeing each other. 

"Long story," Sirius says, sighing. 

"I don't think you should pick fights with him, anyway," Snape says, slowly, with a furrow between his brows that makes him look older. "He...he knows too much."

"Knows?" Sirius asks, frowning.

"Yes," Snape nods, thoughtful. "And Pettigrew might be an idiot sometimes, but he always knows how to get what he wants."

"What's that supposed to mean - " Sirius starts.

"Have you forgotten about all the little secrets you had together, Black?" Snape sneers, and looks directly at Remus, who stares back, wide-eyed. "Your pet werewolf, for example?" he adds, in a low voice. Lily winces.

Remus stills, barely stifling a gasp, a chill running down his spine.  Shit shit fuck what how can they possibly know -  he tries getting up, but it feels like he's paralyzed. Stuck on spot. Amongst all these people who somehow know that he's a -

"You think Pettigrew won't tell the whole school if you antagonize him?" Snape says, and scoffs. "Think again."

Remus belatedly regains control of his feet, and jerking up, moves out of his seat -

"Oh, you're really such an arsehole, Severus," he hears Lily grit out. "Just because you're one step ahead, doesn't mean you have to have a go on an eleven year old - "

Now what - now they all know - now what - 

Remus's heart is beating wildly, he's sure Sirius is calling him back, but there's a buzzing in his ears and he can’t concentrate, can't think,  where did he go wrong it's only the first day -

He stumbles out onto the Quidditch Field, and he doesn't know exactly where is he hoping to go, but before he can get past the hoops, Sirius Black has run up and blocked his path, panting.

"Hey, hey, Moo- Remus!" Sirius says, with a weak smile. "It's fine! Stop running, bloody hell! It's all fine, it's all okay - !"

"Y-you know that I'm a," Remus tries making a dash for it, but Sirius has apparently anticipated that. Before Remus can move, Sirius traps him with his arms.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius says, nodding against his shoulder. "We know you're a werewolf. It's fine. Snape is a prick. Ignore him."

"Ignore him?" Remus echoes, feeling a little faint. Sirius's hair smells very good. "No, that's not the point, the point isn't what he says, it's- it's that you know - "

"We won't tell anyone, Remus," Sirius shifts back, and smiles at him, open and kind. "We....we'll keep your secrets. And Snape won't tell anyone either. I promise."

"And-and Lily knows and you said Peter knows - "

"Peter won't say anything," Sirius says, darkly. "I'll make sure of that."

"Oh," Remus breathes in, "but how did you - why're you - ?"

"It's a long story," Sirius sighs, and wraps his arms around Remus once more.

Wait,  Remus realises,  Sirius isn't stopping Remus from moving. 

Sirius is HUGGING Remus.

REMUS. Who's a werewolf. And Sirius knows.

Remus hugs back, tentatively.





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Chapter Text

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So. Hogwarts  fucking  sucks.

Sirius had vaguely known that it would, but hearing Walburga's Howler definitely doesn't help. He can't bring himself to look apologetic  as Walburga goes on and on and on about "filthy half-breeds" and "a traitor to your blood!" and "SHAME OF MY LOINS",  or pretend to be sad or anything either, which makes McGonagall eye him strangely.

He can't bring himself to care.

Moony would probably say that it's the start of his spiraling depression. Sirius glances at eleven year old Remus looking overwhelmed and red, and again : can't bring himself to worry about what  his  Remus would say.

"Sirius!" someone hisses as they're leaving the Great Hall.

Sirius glances to the Slytherin side once, before proceeding to easily and gladly ignore Narcissa. Sirius really can't deal with this right now, is the thing. He's seen Bellatrix glaring at him, too, and avoiding them is the best he can come up with. They just look so very young.

Their first class is Potions, and atleast Snape is looking as enthusiastic about it as Sirius feels. 

They enter the dungeons, with James talking excitedly (Lily and Sirius have been asking him questions that they know he loves and can't resist answering), and sit down right at the back, Sirius scanning his Time Table gloomily.

In all the mess, Sirius realises that he'd absolutely forgotten how much he disliked Slughorn.

"Mr. Black and..." Slughorn scans his list again, before shooting Sirius a conspiring smile, "and Mr. Pettigrew!"

Sirius takes a few deep breaths. It does not work.

Lily shifts with Snape, and James and Remus shuffle together to a table, as Peter gets up, looking at Sirius, hand twitching towards his wand.

"Truce for one class?" Peter asks, nervously, as he sits next to Sirius. 

Sirius's expression should be an adequate answer.  Fuck no.

"Alright," Peter squeaks, and his voice is high-pitched and so goddamn innocent that, frankly, Sirius wants to throw his cauldron on him.

Sirius has barely steeled himself enough to get the ingredients from the Potions cupboard, when, "And oh, look, class!" Slughorn exclaims, "Mr. Snape and Miss Evans have made it already!"

Sure enough, they have. Snape's holding a small vial of a blue liquid, looking bored, the cauldron in front of Lily emitting pink smoke.

"A perfect Cure for Boils!" Slughorn smiles down at them both, looking surprised himself, before starting to walk around the class.

"That's not even possible," Longbottom mutters from the side. "What the hell."

"It's been five minutes," Mulciber grumbles, his own potion an odd shade of green. This is strange, too, seeing all these people (death eaters) as little kids in the class.

Sirius takes a few more deep breaths, as Peter comes back with the snake fangs and dried nettles. It takes immense patience to not force them down Peter’s throat, by the way. Sirius feels that he should really be praised for his restraint.

(It doesn't stop him from chucking a porcupine quill in his cauldron, though, making the potion explode and spill on Peter.)

"Lily," Sirius hisses, as Slughorn winces and makes Peter go to the Hospital Wing, before clearing up Peter's cauldron, "pass me a vial."

Lily grins over her shoulder and bottles another vial from her cauldron, before passing it along to him. 

"That was  awful  of you," she says, but she's biting back a smile. 

"Mr. Black," Slughorn hums as he sees his table before nodding approvingly. "You really should help Mr. Pettigrew along, too, my boy. You seem a dab hand at it, and Mr. Pettigrew...well."

"Of course, Professor Slughorn," Sirius smiles.




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Of course, Peter gets back.

Peter  always  gets back.

He corners Sirius outside Charms, his skin now back to normal, looking rather angry. He's still in the "foot shorter than everyone" height, though, and it's not very intimidating.

"Do that again, Black," Peter spits out, "and I swear you won't see Remus ever again."

"Shut up. You listen to me. If you bring Remus into this," Sirius growls, "then  I  swear, you won't see light of fucking day again."

"Try me," Peter says, and smiles, sharp and rat-like. Sirius's blood is  boiling.  "I don't care what happens. You pull me down, and I'll take you with me."

"Big words," Sirius says, before pulling his fist back.

Peter doesn't see it coming quick enough to move. His fist crashes along the side of his face, and Peter yells, before jumping him.

When Flitwick finds them, they're still brawling on the floor of the corridor outside Charms.

(Sirius would like it noted for record, though, that he was  totally winning. 

And one detention, one sore cheek, and Lily's disapproving glare is absolutely worth Peter’s black eye and broken tooth.)

"Truce," Sirius decides, anyway, when Peter comes back from the Hospital Wing, for the second time in one day. "I'm sick of you." And he is. He really,  really  is.

"Feeling's mutual," Peter rolls his eyes. "Truce."




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"If any of you," Lily glares at Snape while she says it, "shows up James in Transfiguration, I will be  really  annoyed."

"Like we need Perfect Potter to- " Snape pulls a face. Sirius shrugs, and nods.

"Transfiguration is James's thing, you know that," Lily looks conflicted. "And he's just eleven, let him have this."

There's a short pause.

"Nevermind. I'm not going," Snape bails out.  Good enough,  Sirius thinks. 

They watch Minnie do the whole cat-surprise-tradition-thing of hers, and something about James turning around to smile and waggle his eyebrows at Sirius makes him so  achingly  happy.




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Apparently, Snape's taken the "I'm not coming to classes" decision seriously. He's not there for any class. At all. He isn't there for Herbology or Astronomy and "why  would  I even attend Defense? Have you seen how incompetent the teachers are?"

Sirius agrees, but he somehow likes tagging along to the classes, if only to be with James and Remus. They've been pretty quiet. Sirius supposes he can't blame them. It's been a wild day.

Their situation becomes a lot more complex in the evening, and it starts with a letter.  They're in the Great Hall, eating Supper, when the owl comes.

Dear Sirius,  it says, and Sirius really doesn't remember receiving this the first time around. 

Dear Sirius,

Hello! Heard about your Sorting. Also heard mother charming the Howler she sent you. Anyway, I hope you're alright in gryffindor! And that you know this doesn't change anything between us. Right?

Write to me if you're free sometime. 

The penmanship is weird, like an adult trying to write like a kid. Something in Sirius's head is slowly and horrifically becoming clear.

Love,
Regulus.

Sirius stares and stares. They'd definitely never been on the "signing letters with love" terms, even before Sirius got Sorted into Gryffindor. Which can only mean that -

(And that you know this doesn't change anything between us. Right?)

Regulus is back, too.





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Chapter Text

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Lily, surprisingly, remembers Regulus Black rather well.

She remembers someone taller and thinner and quieter than Sirius, someone fiercely talented in Charms. She remembers a Fifth Year getting into trouble for hexing his Sixth Year brother, she remembers a few brief, and tense meetings in the library. She remembers James fuming over Regulus Black always playing dirty in Quidditch, and then reluctantly acknowledging his skills.

She remembers cold sneers, and indifferent glances, but never a single insult. 

"Even if he is back," Sirius says, scanning the letter in his hand for the hundredth time, as they walk up to the Gryffindor Tower, "why would he write this? He was a Death Eater, for Merlin's sake - "

"I think we've all established that there's no way to actually know who's on what side," Severus says, dryly. He's coming along to the Gryffindor common room because of the letter, but he's definitely not happy about it. Sirius looks like he wants to argue about that last bit anyway - something along the lines of a petulant but I would know, he's my BROTHER, but he doesn't speak.

"It'll be easy to tell," Lily hums, peering over Sirius's shoulder to see the letter. "If you could just meet him, ask indirect questions. He wouldn't expect it, obviously, he probably thinks he's the only one come back in time. When you write back, write in the way eleven-year old you would have written."

"I would have felt patronized," Sirius says, frowning. "Annoyed, maybe angry. So, it would probably be rude."

Severus mutters something that sounds like 'what else is new?'

"But then, again," Sirius amends, "he seems to be trying. I might have surprised myself."

"Fortuna Minor," Lily says, to the Fat Lady, as they reach the entrance. The portrait swings open, and they enter, Sirius sighing once again, glancing down at the parchment worriedly. "Hey, Remus."

Remus waves to them, from where he's sitting in front of the fireplace, a hesitant smile on his face. Lily smiles back, helplessly endeared. He looks like a child, is the thing and Remus always used to have that particular look of someone who had to grow up too early. It's nice, is all, she thinks, to see him like that - cross-legged and seemingly carefree, a quill twisting between his fingers, parchment in front of him.

"Where's James?" Lily asks, after a pause. She hasn't seem him since the Great Hall, she realises, hadn't he been coming along with them?

Sirius looks confused too, but Severus is slowly straightening up, expression unreadable. It usually is, with Severus, and then he suddenly seems to snap out of it - walks out of the common room, leaving behind him only a, "Need a memory refresher, Black?"

"What - hey, Snape, wait up!" Sirius scowls, before rushing past. Lily blinks and follows.




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They find James in a supply cupboard in an unused passage leading up from the dungeons, coughing and hacking. A broken bottle of what Lily guesses is some too-old poison sweeps up fumes from the floor.

"It was supposed to be you in here," Sirius mutters to Snape, crossly, as Lily dusts James off. He has cobwebs all over his hair, face red and embarassed as he quickly gulps down water that Lily's conjured for him. Severus looks amused, but when he speaks, his words are concerned.

"We're changing things already," he says, frowning a bit. "And I don't think that's a good sign."

"How are we anyhow responsible for this?" Lily asks, sighing as she spots the weird boils under James's collar. He's been trying to hide them and he looks mortified as she takes her wand out to heal them, and that irritates her, too, because he needs to know. That she is his - that they're - that she's seen him at his worst and his best and he's barely a first year. It's all just so complicated, and tiring, in moments. 

She wouldn't give up this chance for the world, but James comes rather close.

"Black is," Severus says, pointedly. Lily shoots Sirius a look, but he looks puzzled, too. "If he'd been with Potter, it would have been a Slytherin cursed and locked in." He looks away, something flickers in his eyes. "Not that you'd even particularly remember, you weren't the one who spent half a night locked up in the dark here."

Lily's hands still for a moment, before she continues. 

"Could have been worse, though," Severus presses, "If someone hadn't accidentally found me. I could still be in here."

No, he couldn't, because he had Lily then. She would have flung the castle upside down looking for him. But she doesn't speak. She expects some sort of quip, then, to lighten the tension, for Sirius to say something like scared of the dark, Snivellus? but there's just silence.

Once she's done healing James's neck, to her satisfaction, she stands up. Sirius is looking inside the cupboard, jaw clenched a little.

They walk up the tower in silence. James is limping a bit too, and Lily swears she is never leaving his side after this. It's been long coming, she tells herself, her final revenge - she'll be the James in this story, the loud, clingy, certain-they-are-to-be-married one - he deserves it for all the times he'd annoyed her back before Sixth Year.

"It wasn't by accident," Sirius says, rather randomly, when they're just about to reach the common room. James looks tired, Severus looks stiff, bitter; and Lily's been too conscious to break the silence.

"What?" Severus asks, brows pulling together.

"It wasn't an accident," Sirius repeats, "I told Malfoy where to find you."

And then he turns around, and disappears through the portrait.




When Lily glances at Severus, he looks somewhat deflated. But when she makes to enter, instead of coming inside with her, he doesn't follow, just walks down the passage they'd come up.

She doesn't stop him.





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Lily makes James go to bed.

He rolls his eyes, like she's his mum or something, but listens, uneven footsteps up the steps. Sirius sits near the hearth, idle hands playing with Remus's hair - who's fallen asleep on the couch. She goes and sits on the rug beside them, watches how soft Sirius's expression is. It's a rare sight, really, the boy is sharper than the amount that is good - and he's changed, too, of course - azkaban, again, echoes in Lily's head. She hasn't asked, she feels this distance between them already and she thinks Sirius will tell her anyway, when he wants to.

"That's really creepy, you know," she says, quietly, by way of greeting. "He barely even knows you."

"I'm sure he'd tell me if he had a problem," Sirius murmurs, a smile flickering on his face.

"He's asleep," Lily points out, in a whisper.

"As if," Sirius scoffs, smile only widening. Lily blinks, sitting up - Remus is obviously asleep. "He's got senses better than a bat, I doubt he didn't wake up when we were walking up the hallway. Come on, Lupin, up," he adds, voice turning teasing, and Remus opens his eyes.

Lily stares at him for a moment in disbelief, before snorting. These two really never changed.

Remus's flush is visible even in the dim, orange light.

"My mum does that," he says, glancing up at Sirius's hand in his hair and then away. "It's nice. How'd you even know I was awake?"

His tone makes it sound like why did you even do that? It's a fair question, Lily wouldn't want to explain this. Sirius doesn't answer for a long moment.

"I know what you look like when you're sleeping," he says, to the fire, before taking his hand away, onto his lap. Remus almost looks disappointed. "We're gonna have to tell them."

He's talking to Lily now. She doesn't reply.

"We could be messing up everything," she says. Sirius sighs and digs out Remus's letter from his pocket.

"I think we're well past that point," he says, and tearing out half of Remus's empty parchment - Remus looks rather anxious about the whole thing, like he's never seen anyone ripping apart parchment - starts writing.

"What are you planning to say to him, Sirius?" Lily asks, a little worried. Sirius's quick decisions aren't always the best. They might even be his worst. He doesn't stop writing. "Sirius? I know- Sev-Snape - he's a little-" bitter, "you all were a bit- " cruel. "But I don't think you should write to Regulus on that vein- "

"It's fine," Sirius says, quickly, ducking his head. His voice is off. "You should go sleep. I'm going to finish this before I go up."

"Right," Lily says, after a pause. No point trying to talk now then; Sirius licked his wounds alone. "Good night."

"Sweet dreams," he says, idly, after her. 


Remus doesn't leave. 


Lily misses James. 


She changes into her night clothes, and abruptly wishes James was on the Quidditch team already, just so she could wear something that said POTTER at the back in red and gold. 

"Shut up," she says to herself, then, very quietly. Marlene mumbles something in her sleep and turns over.

Lily, quietly, reaches out, and pulls her blanket over her.





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