Chapter Text
Asking Reki on a date should have been easy in theory, after all, they spent the majority of their time together; be it eating, skating, doing homework or occasionally sleeping. Logically the progression from best friends to... boyfriends— was that what they would become? Well, it should have been seamless... after all, most partners were each other's best friend.
It had reached the stage where even Shadow and Miya were making comments so Langa figured Reki must just know his feelings. It wasn't as though he went out of his way to hide them. Whether or not they were reciprocated was another matter but there was only one way to find out, hence the beginning of the plan: Asking Reki On A Date.
(The title was a work in progress.)
Mom had seemed quietly pleased when he brought it up over dinner. A traditional Japanese meal that she was serving more often now they had moved here; Dad had loved this one and he guessed it hurt a little too much to cook it without him. Langa slurped it down and she smiled.
"Just be calm, do something you both enjoy. That's what your father and I did— our first date was after snowboarding... a little cabin by the slopes!"
She covered her mouth with a giggle; a memory clouding the current discussion and Langa didn't want to ask in fear of putting himself off his dinner. She had a point though. Dates were supposed to be something enjoyable for both.
Easy!
What did they enjoy doing the most?
"Reki, what are you doing on Saturday?" Langa asked, better to tear off the plaster in case he chickened out.
Lying on the roof, the scent of Spring was in the air... sweet, sticky and intoxicating. Perhaps that was simply the smell of sitting shoulder to shoulder with the boy he was... (—falling for? In love with?... How would you know such things?) ...close to.
Reki wasn't perfect— Langa knew this better than most. He was rash and headstrong, refusing to listen to reason, his insecurities following him like a noose. He was messy... impossibly so, with ketchup stains at the collars of his hoody and ink on his sleeves.
Reki was also exhilarating, the human equivalent of stepping into a whirlpool from the moment they met— S only being part of the reason. Reki was animated, he made the mundane parts of life come to life again; the colours tinged grey with grief and depression finding their hues once more.
Langa could watch him smile for hours as silly as it sounded. There was no one he was more comfortable with. No one else smelled like powdery deodorant, coca-cola, sandpaper and home. Reki would curl up to watch YouTube with him and there was a surge of serenity, something falling into equilibrium inside that he couldn't quite put into words.
"I dunno, probably gonna work on that new design I showed you," Reki spoke with his mouth full, little pieces of rice speckling his chin. "Why? You have plans?" Those little grains didn't know how lucky they were. A disgusting thought, but Langa wasn't taking it back.
"No— yes. I was wondering if you wanted to meet with me?"
There. It was out there— floating in the atmosphere, an entity entirely out of his control. Phew. When had his heart started thumping?
Reki raised an eyebrow, snorting in a way that shouldn't have been as attractive as it was, "Why are you being so weird? Of course, I do. Are we going to go skating?" Washing down his food with a glug of cola, he hopefully missed the relief on Langa's face. This was going much better than expected.
"Well, yes. It's something we both enjoy." It likely wasn't romantic to over-explain his date ideas, but this was Reki— it wouldn't feel natural to give him flowers and chocolates.
"Duh—" Reki bopped him on the side of the head, so generous with his touch that Langa sometimes felt guilty for craving it. "Did you whack your head or something today?"
"Not yet. I'll text you a time for Saturday then."
"M'kay," Reki wiped his mouth with his sleeve (hygienic!) and put his fluffy head on Langa's shoulder, strands tickling his nose. "Can you help me with my English homework now? It's due next class and I've only half done."
Meeting his eyes, warm amber looking furtive. It was easy to cave in. "Fine, but you can do some of my math." Reki unleashed a cheer and Langa dipped his head down to lie against his best friend.
Saturday came and Langa wasn't nearly as prepared as he thought he would be. Should he dress up? Wear cologne? Were there any hidden rules he had to follow that he'd never learned? Mom was laughing in his doorway, eyes like stars and eventually she tugged him to sit on the bed.
"Honey, it's only Reki." As though that would help. Langa didn't want him to feel like a cheap date, so showing some extra effort was needed. "I know this is a date, but he is your best friend. I bet he wouldn't want you to be fretting so much."
Of course, not. Reki would tell him he's being ridiculous— like always, but his erratic heart and trembling hands didn't seem to think so.
"Here," Mom fetched something in her dresser, a dusty old bottle with a liquid similar to whiskey. It was Dad's cologne, something she only brought out on the best or worst days... the days they needed him most. "Just a little for good luck. I can't have this Reki swooning too much over my boy."
"Mom," he groaned, but it helped all the same.
It was a relief it was sunny; warm enough for only his tidy, short-sleeved shirt but not so humid that he would sweat through. Sakura petals were beginning to catch flight, gently collecting together into a flurry of pink that caught in his hair as he skated. Langa sent a quick text message:
[I'm here at the park.]
Reki was a fast texter, a bit like he did everything... rapid but warm.
[Reki: on my way :) see you soon.]
True to his word, it was only minutes before a flurry of red, white and black hurtled towards him. Reki with his far-too-baggy hoody and the white bandages covering frequent injuries... he was breath-taking, eyebrows pinched until his eyes met Langa's and he melted, soft and sweet like cookie dough and a smile soared on his face.
Langa was starting to feel a bit dizzy, sitting there so ridiculous in a shirt that didn't feel right. A date, he had to remind himself, shouldn't be any more difficult than just hanging out.
"Langa!" Reki skidded to a stop beside him, tiny pieces of gravel sprinkling Langa's nice jeans. "Wow, where did you just come back from? You're lookin' fancy."
"I just wanted to make an effort," Langa said but his words trailed after when a familiar voice tore through the air.
"Wait up, slime!" Miya, with his cat-hood pulled up high, skated towards them in what was probably the worst possible timing. They were on a date, for crying out loud. How were they going to say that without being assholes to Miya? Although, the kid wasn't to know.
"You ask me to hang out and then ditch me halfway!" Miya shrieked. Okay, scratch that.
But why would Reki invite Miya to their date? Was he nervous? Was this some sort of weird chaperone?
"Not my fault you're too slow!" Reki stuck his tongue out, grinning and circling Langa on his board. "—Langa? What's wrong, you look a million miles away."
Oh.
Was it possible Reki didn't know this was a date? Thinking back to their conversion... "I was wondering if you wanted to meet with me?" Could that be taken as simply hanging out? Langa's first language was English, not Japanese. He spoke mainly English at home so he might have been a bit rusty. Maybe he hadn't used the correct terminology... or perhaps he was too vague?
"No, it's nothing. I just—" Langa trailed off. It was neither the time nor the place; not with Reki rosy-cheeked, ready to skate and Miya eyeing them warily. "Come on, let's go practice."
Sun dipping further overhead, Reki ran to the convenience shop on the corner to buy some drinks and snacks. Langa had spent the afternoon mentally smacking himself in the face. Only he could work himself up for a date that wasn't even a date. Miya sat close, tapping at some mobile game, pausing now and again to frown at him.
"What?" Langa finally gave in.
"You seemed disappointed before," Miya didn't hold his feelings back; they gushed out of him like an overflowing pit and it made Langa a little envious. "If you didn't want me to come you should just say, slime."
"What?" A broken record, he was.
Miya rolled his eyes, as though everyone around him was just dumb idiots. A statement that wasn't entirely incorrect. "I'm not bothered if you don't want to be friends with me." Within seconds, his spikes poked protectively through soft flesh.
"—I thought this was a date," Langa blurted out, a little stunned himself by the outburst and Miya was a mirror image. "I thought I was asking Reki on a date but I think he's misunderstood me."
A silence lay heavy, cars drove like white noise, the distant calls of friends and the wind ruffled the trees to their own tune. Miya broke through it all with a laugh, muffled at first before he was properly bent over with shoulders shaking.
Was it that ridiculous that Reki might actually want to go on a date with him? He knew Reki liked girls... but there was something there between them, something almost tangible with sparks burning his fingertips when he got a fraction too close.
"Why are you laughing?"
"No, it's—" Miya's voice caught in a laugh. "It's not that. It's just... skating? Really, Langa?"
His face grew warmer and it wasn't just because of the sun. "Yeah, so? Your first date should be doing something you both love." It felt silly even saying it.
"Yes," Miya conceded with a smirk, "—but doing something you do every day doesn't exactly scream romance, does it? Use your brain, you dumb slime."
Getting dating advice from a kid four years his junior should have been embarrassing for Langa, but beggars can't be choosers.
"So, what am I supposed to do then?"
Miya groaned, "I don't know, damn. Go for food or something, isn't that what most people do on dates?"
Food. Hm. Miya was right... going for food seemed like a typical date setting and eating was something they both loved. This could be phase two in the plan: Asking Reki On A Date. Although maybe the title was holding him back, a better one would be: Successfully Getting Reki On A Date.
Food, alright. Easy enough.
"Just make sure he knows it's a date— and that means being alone," Miya dragged the words out, patronising but the relief was there. Slowly, he had softened to them both, although begrudgingly. It was hard for Miya to trust after being dropped one too many times. It was hard for him to understand that they were not the same as his old friends.
"I will."
Reki returned with two cans of coca-cola and a green smoothie for Miya, (even he seemed wary) and plopped down on the concrete beside them. "Enjoy!" He bumped his elbow into Langa's shoulder, scooting closer so their thighs were flush. Miya gave him a look, before feigning a stretch.
"Thanks for the smoothie. I better go— I've much better things to be doing than hanging with you Level One gremlins."
"You sure? We're gonna skate a little longer if you wanna stay?" Reki was a big brother at heart— his siblings were very close to him and that didn't cease when it came to Miya. It was pretty endearing. Langa didn't have any siblings but he knew how fortunate Reki's were.
"Nope, I'll see you around. At S probably."
Miya skated off in a blaze of neon colours, skidding gravel and fluttering fabrics. Now was his chance... all he had to do with just ask. It shouldn't have been as nerve-wracking as it was. His palms were practically seeping onto his skinny jeans, his heart palpitating and Reki was slouching into the graffiti wall with a lazy smile.
"You sure you're feeling okay, Langa?" Reki turned his unwavering eyes towards him— they were fiery, focused and suddenly he wasn't sure at all. A warm hand splayed across his forehead and he could have wilted there and then. "You don't feel too hot."
"I'm fine, Reki, honestly." Langa reluctantly peeled himself away from the touch Reki doled out so generously. As though he wasn't starving for it. "I just want to ask you something."
"Shoot," Reki grinned.
It was simple. Just say the words. A date wasn't a big deal... it wasn't a confession or a proposal. (Although the former likely wasn't needed accompanying the proposition of a date.) All he had to do was spit the bloodied words out of his throat.
"Reki, do you want to go for some food?" There, Langa could breathe again. Surely Reki could pick up on the subtext there, weighted on each tremble of his fingers and every catch in his breath.
"What— now? You hungry?"
"Well, yes." Langa failed to see the relevance but Reki took out his phone, opening it up to check the time.
"Mom's cooking tonight." Mrs Kyan made delicious meals so he understood the hesitation. Although having Reki's mom, grandmother and sisters around the table wouldn't exactly be conducive to a date setting.
Pink crept betrayingly into his cheeks, "I— well, I sorta wanted us to be... alone." He was being infuriatingly obvious— did Reki want him to spell the words out?
It seemed to miss the mark once again, Reki brightening with a reddish tint, "I get you, man! I know my house can be crazy sometimes."
Langa almost face-palmed.
Was his Japanese really that bad or was Reki just that oblivious? Should he just kiss the damn boy and be done with it? God, he wished he had that kind of confidence.
"No— no, it's not that." Langa groaned. Reki's house was warm and lived-in. It felt filled to the brim with voices; laughing or fighting. It felt like a home... like his home had before Dad died. It was something Mom and him were working to change.
"I like the noise... it's just that I wanted this to be just... us."
A pause. Langa found it hard to maintain eye contact, his poor heart was bursting, his lungs feeling trapped inside a confining ribcage.
Pink, dusty and subtle grew deeper, a darker red. Were his feelings flooding out in the gentle space between them? Was he destroying his friendship for something that could never be reciprocated?
"We can go on Monday," Reki grinned, his hand splatting onto Langa's quaking thigh and sending his body into shock. "After school, that way you can come for your dinner tonight too! Mom has started keeping an extra plate for you so she might be disappointed if we don't."
Reki often lamented his weaknesses— he once said he felt as though he would never catch up to the rest of them. Langa hadn't understood, but now, lying in the darkness of his bedroom with the early hours blinking red on the wall... he realised more than ever what he had meant.
No matter how far he chased, he could never quite grab hold of Reki fully.
On Monday, Reki bit holes into his pen's lid; doodled designs on the corner of his notebook and subsequently fell behind on all of his lessons throughout the day. Langa would have to go over the notes with him at some stage but he was having trouble concentrating also.
"Do you think this would work?" Reki whispered to him behind a conspicuous hand, his headband was a little crooked, his hair freshly washed and puffy. It would be lovely to reach out and run his hand through it, warm and sweet-smelling.
"Yes."
"Langa, you didn't even look!" Reki hissed.
"—Kyan Reki! Do you have something you want to share with the class?" Their teacher cut through the serenity, glaring with laser-bean eyes and both their spines snapped straight to attention like soldiers.
Poor Reki, his face burned red with a sheepish smile. "No, sensei. I'm sorry."
Twenty faces swivelled to peer at him and Langa wished to stand in front of him, protect him from something so silly.
"That goes for you too, Hasegawa." Their teacher added, and it was a relief that the attention was spread between them.
"Yes, it was my fault. Sorry, sir." That seemed to satisfy the man and he resumed the lesson, rattling on and Reki had his head ducked, the burning subsiding at little.
On a torn piece of paper, Langa began to write: Sensei is an asshole. His Japanese was worse in writing than it was aloud so he drew angry little faces, bugged eyes and wiggly frowns. With a flick, it landed successfully at its destination, Reki's desk.
The boy's face split into a smile, bashful around the edges but it wasn't embarrassed like before. Doodles pushed aside, Reki wrote his own note and it landed on his desk moments later.
You didn't have to do that, but thank you. :)
He would do anything for Reki, how could he not? How could anyone meet this boy and not want to protect him at all expense?
Mom sat on the edge of Langa's bed as he got ready. Reki didn't understand why he wanted to go home to get ready... why they couldn't just go in school uniforms like usual. It sent his blood pressure up unhealthily amounts and he simply snapped, "Just because." A perfectly good answer, even if Reki put a three-year old's pout to shame.
"You know, you could just tell him this is a date," Mom had opened and closed her mouth for a good few minutes so it was a bit of relief she had finally spat it out. Of course, he could just say that. But what if Reki knew it was a date, and this was all just a way to feign being oblivious so he could let Langa down easily.
No, the truth was just an arm's stretch away... but now, with the doubt and the ambiguity— he still had hope. A universe existed where there was a possibility Reki liked him back and Langa wanted to live in this dimension as long as he could.
"I will." Langa just said, uncertain hands fixing up his shirt until Mom batted them away.
"My handsome boy, you're all nervous for no reason. If it's supposed to be, it will be. It's no use fretting."
She smoothed down his shirt, tucking it in. It sent him back through time; ten years old and nervous before school, her kneeling by him and combing his hair. Scared, he had felt different to the other Canadians and had cried for most of the first few mornings. It had eased, but now coming to Japan he felt that same feeling— but duller, souring in his stomach.
But not when it came to Reki, and not when it came to S. With them, he had slotted in like a jigsaw puzzle. It was just terrifying to think of losing it all... of being that lonely kid in a foreign country once more.
"Can I have a squirt of Dad's cologne?" Langa asked and she smiled, sad and her eyes creased at the corners.
"You don't need it, sweetie, you're going to be just fine. We can buy you some of your own and keep Dad's for those special days... your graduation, your first full-time job... or the day I finally meet this Reki, at last." Langa blushed, he was going to bring Reki around someday, it was just Mom worked strange hours and Reki's house was closer to school.
"Okay," he nodded and she kissed his forehead.
Rolling up to Reki's house on the scooter, he regretted not taking his skateboard so he could burn off some of his nervous energy. At least then he wouldn't have to feel the press of warm skin around his waist and wouldn't have to shove down images of it being more than just friendly. A fantasy, it was, but a nice one all the same— with Reki holding him just for the sake of it, pressing his chest into Langa's back and kissing the side of his neck.
Alone in the safety of his mind, he let himself imagine, delved his fingers into an infinity of possibilities that felt all-too close but far too far. A shift on their current relationship that could be a double-edged knife, for all he knew.
"Langa!" Reki waved, changed from his uniform into a cosy get-up.
In the evening sun, Reki looked incredible.
Amber, crimson and orange hues settled onto his tanned skin like liquid gold, his hair rippling with the matching tones. Was it a sin if Langa thought he looked godlike? In the warm air, saccharine with greenery and fresh as a lake, he wanted to pause time just to look. To exist and watch, to stare at Reki like most would a sunset.
"I'm starving!"
Within seconds he was snatching the spare helmet and firing himself onto the seat behind, arms enclosing around his waist so firmly Langa thought this dimension was beginning to ripple into one of his dreams.
"Come on, slowpoke."
"Fine," Langa coughed out words before the boy noticed something might be up. "Where do you want to go?"
"I thought you had some big idea?" Reki teased, leaning his chin on Langa's shoulder. It sent fireworks under his skin, racing heart thudding worse than it had been during all his beefs. Cheek to cheek, he could smell the musky bodyspray Reki had used and the syrupy smell of the coca-cola the boy drank too much of. It wouldn't take much to close the distance, press his cold mouth into those red, thoroughly bitten ones and taste them for himself.
"Burgers?"
"Sounds good."
Whether Reki knew it was a date or not, Langa wanted to be selfish. To clasp these moments in his hands and enjoy it while he could— before his feelings burst out of his chest and saturated the lightness between them.
"You've been quiet these days... well, quieter than usual." Reki sat opposite of him, the diner booths pushing their too-long limbs together. "Is there something you've wanted to talk to me about... privately?"
Apparently, the rush of blood and shock was obvious enough to send Reki into a burst of laughter.
"Don't look so scared, jeez Langa. I just mean... you said you wanted to eat alone?"
Was it Langa's delusion causing Reki's tone to sound... hopeful? No, it was dangerous to think that way. Langa stuffed his burger into his mouth, soft bread and savoury meat, swallow and swallow until the lump in his throat faded.
"Well, no— uh, yes." Now should have been his chance, a gaping silence so perfectly fit for the words hanging on the edge of his tongue.
Reki, you are amazing.
You keep me on my toes, every day.
I want to be with you for infinity.
I like you.
I want this to be a date.
I think I'm falling in love with you.
It felt easier in the quietness of his own mind, in English, in private. Anywhere where Reki wasn't gazing up at him, ketchup on the corners of his mouth and crumbs on his chin.
"Shadow wants to beef with you again," Langa lied instead and was it delusional to think Reki flickered with disappointment? "I wanted to talk to you alone in case you felt pressure being around everyone else."
"Shadow? Why?"
They had skated a few weeks ago and Reki had won by a hair's width: it was impressive and the boy had been glowing for days after.
Dampness speckled guiltily on the back of his neck, little drops catching on his hair. Why had he said that? Why the fuck had he said that?
"You defeated him the first time, he wants a rematch." It felt like the burger was repeating itself in his tummy.
"When?"
Oh shit. "Tomorrow?" Langa blurted out before his brain registered the words.
"Okay," Reki grinned, fixing his attention back to his fries, picking three at a time and shoving them into his mouth, tongue poking out like a cat to get the salt off his lips. "You will be by my side?"
"Always, Reki."
"Miya, I've fucked up," Langa rang him and he had surprisingly answered on the first few rings. They had never called each other before... choosing the occasional text. An English meme or two. It was likely he had answered in a panic— wrongly assuming something was wrong and being confronted with Langa's silly, relationship drama.
"What have you done, goblin?"
"I've told Reki that Shadow wants to beef with him tomorrow and he's agreed."
"Why did you say that?" Miya was bewildered and in fairness, Langa had been too. It had come out of nowhere.
"I don't know, I- he was asking me why I had wanted to meet him alone. I‐ I panicked."
After a few beats of quiet, the background noise of the Nintendo Switch paused.
"You panicked so you arranged a fake beef?" Miya repeated back and saying it out loud made his face warm. Anger began to creep into the boy. "That makes sense, doesn't it? Why didn't you just tell him it was a date?" Incredulous, sharp in a way that it had only previously feigned.
"—How long are you planning to go on these fake dates, dragging Reki along like an oblivious fool?"
"It's not like that." Langa snapped and how dare he be accused of treating Reki like that? Sweet, beautiful Reki. Sure, he was finding it difficult to confess... but wasn't as though this was his intention.
"I'm not covering for your shit, Langa," Miya spat, harsh, but it was urging Langa to confront the feelings churning in his stomach.
If only it were that easy.
"Please, Miya. I will owe you... please, just get Shadow there and I'll talk to Reki," Langa was close to pleading, his phone slippery in his hands and the comforting duvet turning restrictive.
There was another silence and he was beginning to suspect Miya had hung up on him... until he sighed, long-suffering and sounding older than his years
"Fine," Miya softened. "... I just don't know why it's such a big deal for you, it's not as if Reki's gonna say no."
If only Langa could be secure in that knowledge.