Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hidden within the asteroid belt of the Lylat System, nine fighter ships fired across space at one another. One of the red and black ships, a Wolfen, concentrated heavy fire against a blue and white one, an Arwing, which spiraled around to deflect the laser blasts. Another Arwing soared between asteroids that crashed into one another, and rocketed into the fray, blasting at the nearest Wolfen.

Grunting as the ship took heavy fire, Wolf gripped tightly at his control panel. The voice of his rival filled the frequency channel.

“Give it up, Star Wolf!” Fox’s Arwing flew between the other four, facing off against the four Wolfens lined up against them. “The day belongs to Star Fox! Wolf, just surrender your team, and let’s go.”

“Not a chance, Fox!” Wolf growled and punched at his ship. His scowl twisted into a grin. “I’m not through by a long shot, and neither is my team.” He flipped a switch on his control panel and placed his thumb over a red button with a “B” on it, waiting as he lined his ship against Fox’s. “Plus, we picked up another toy to contend with yours.”

“And that is…?”

“This!”

Lifting his ship, Wolf launched a Smart Bomb across at the Star Fox assembly of Arwings. Three flew aside, but the blast impacted two of the ships, sending them flying across the space.

Near the revamped hideout that Star Wolf controlled, the two Arwings flew inside and landed within. They were quickly followed by the other ships, who blasted and fired on one another, with two of the Wolfens taking enough damage and forced to dock within the hideout as well.

Punching out of her ship, Krystal darted over to the other damaged fighter, as Peppy pushed out from his cockpit. The blue vixen waited as the old hare waved her off, and hopped down from his ship, meeting her on the ground.

“Krystal! Peppy!” Slippy hurried over to the pair. Fox and Falco darted after him. “Are you two ok?”

“Mostly, Slip,” determined Peppy, adjusting his coat. He chuckled. “Think my pride took the most heat from that blast. Maybe I am a bit out of practice…”

“It was a cheap shot, Peppy, don’t worry,” reassured Krystal. “Since when did Star Wolf modify the Smart Bombs? Those exploded much quicker and harder than usual.”

“Taking more toys that don’t belong to them, naturally,” muttered Falco. “Least it had a smaller radius to evade.”

“You try taking a blast full-on then,” deadpanned Krystal. “My head is still spinning from it.”

“Pay attention and speed off faster next time,” mocked Falco, winking as Krystal rolled her eyes.

“Ok, ok, same team,” interrupted Fox. “Let’s save the petty insults for Star Wolf.”

“Yes, Fox.”

“Sorry, buddy.”

“Aw, they listen so nicely for you, Fox!” Slippy giggled as Falco and Krystal shot him dirty glares. “It’s almost like they feel so much, ah…respect for you!”

“He’s the leader, Slip,” reminded Peppy. “What’s your point?”

“…Nothing, Peppy, it’s nothing…”

“Look, we don’t have much time.” Fox’s hand clamped down on his blaster holster. “Wolf and his team will be bringing a firefight with them, so let’s get ready!”

“Can’t let you do that, Star Fox!”

Inhaling and heaving out a deep, irritated sigh, Fox slowly turned around to a brightly grinning Wolf, who had his blaster locked on him.

“Exactly what about that line does it for you?”

“It’s more your reaction than anything else, by this point,” admitted Wolf. He smirked as he kept his weapon trained on Fox. “Now, this would be a good time to finally end this rivalry once and for all.”

“But I thought you really liked this sort of thing, Wolf,” mocked Slippy. “Especially with Fox, don’t you?”

“Huh?”

“Isn’t he just your most special, precious, uh…sprecious rival there is?” Slippy tipped his hat and winked to Wolf. “Who else would you want to do all of this fighting with than Fox, right?”

“Slippy, what?”

“Peppy, how little of this do you notice?”

“…Ok, I changed my mind.” Wolf slightly swung his arm to the left. “I’ll kill the frog first for being annoying, and then you, Fox.”

“Nice, saved Fox’s life!” Slippy pumped his fist and gave Fox a thumb’s up. “Best friend, best teammate, eh? Eh?”

“Nobody’s dying here, Slippy,” reassured Fox. He twisted to his enemy and glared at him. “You’re outnumbered here, Wolf.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Fox!” Wolf blinked and lifted his eye patch as he narrowed his gaze on Fox’s team. “Wait, one, two, three, four…when the hell did that hare rejoin the team?!”

“Never really left,” reminded Peppy. “Just thought I was getting too old for this crap.”

“And?”

“Got over it. Not the old part, just the mentality.” Peppy shrugged. “Can’t let all the youngsters rule the stars alone, after all.”

“Ugh.” Wolf rolled his eyes as he pushed his eye patch back on. “Whatever. We may be outnumbered, but we’ll defeat you easily, Star Fox!” He grinned. “We’re the tougher team, after all.”

“If that’s true, then why do we always mop the floor with you?” Falco folded his arms behind his head, while Wolf grin sank to a scowl. “I mean, Fox alone probably kicks your team around left and right. Put all of us together, and you guys are no match.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“With pleasure.”

“Hey, hey, don’t aim that blaster on him,” snapped Slippy. “I’m saving Fox’s life, ok? Big hero moment for me, right here, right now.”

“Slippy, please stop trying to be a martyr,” dryly pleaded Fox.

“No! I want to be the cool one for once!” Slippy threw his arms up. “Falco always gets to be the cool guy! It should be me this time!”

“I get to be cool because it comes naturally,” taunted Falco.

“Is that what you call it? I prefer to call it ‘annoying bullying,’” shot back Krystal.

“Same team,” reminded a grumpy Fox, to which his teammates hung their heads.

“Sorry, Fox.”

“Geez.” Wolf tilted his head and placed a hand on his hip. “You guys good? Are we supposed to finish you off, or do you want to do that yourselves, to one another no less?”

“Give us a minute, we’ll manage,” insisted Peppy. He blinked as his nose twitched. “Actually, you keep going on about ‘we,’ but all I see here is you.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Where’s the rest of your team?”

“Doing the typical grand entrance since they shine less often than I do on my own,” quickly mumbled off Wolf. “It makes them feel better, I dunno.” He cleared his throat and glanced behind them. “Hey, Star Wolf! Get your lazy butts out here!”

“Been waiting on your signal, Wolf!” His longtime ally shifted into view, pulling away from the crate he had been camouflaged against. Leon grinned as he lifted an empty hilt. “Prepare for your most humiliating defeat, Star Fox!”

“…Is that a broken sword?” Falco pointed at the weapon Leon held.

“What? No, it’s not broken at all.” He waggled it a bit, but nothing happened. “Hang on, I just…come on, you stupid, new, little…” Leon fumbled around with it and tapped on a button. An energy beam formed out of the hilt, and Leon pointed it forward. “Ha! There we go!”

“Wait, what the heck is that?” Wolf raised an eyebrow. “When did you go shopping for a new toy? And why didn’t you take me?”

“Do you like it? I wanted to make sure you did before I bought us all one.” Leon waved it around. “They’re a bit flashy, but I figured it suited me better than everyone else.”

“But what is it?” Everyone turned as Slippy blinked. “What? I want to know.”

“Fool! Can’t you even recognize the…the…Beam Sword?!” Leon hesitated a moment. “Uh.” He brought a finger to his lip and tapped on it. “Maybe it was Energy Blade. Plasma Sword…? Oh, maybe it’s a Beat Saber! …Wait, that doesn’t sound right.”

“I had a brother named Sabre,” called out Krystal.

“Nobody cares, Krystal!” Leon scowled at her while Krystal slowly lowered her head.

“That’s true, nobody usually does…”

“But enough on that!” Leon swung the blade across the air, and lifted it with a reversed handgrip. “The name doesn’t matter, so long as it gets the job done against you lot, once and for all!”

“Is that the most effective way to hold it?” Fox pointed at Leon’s grip, to which he loosened.

“Huh?”

“I don’t know, the backwards handgrip. Is that an actual stance that’s viable in combat?”

“Yes, I’m pretty sure that it is,” insisted Leon. “…What, is it outdated?”

“It just seems a bit impractical to me,” decided Fox. “Sure, it probably can work, but it’s needlessly risky, forces you to get weird angles, and the amount of practice to effectively use it seems like it pays off less overall.”

“Ok, you actually made me feel really insecure over this,” admitted Leon, lowering his weapon. “Wolf, I might need to rethink getting us these.”

“Blast. Fox!” Wolf growled as he pointed his blaster menacingly. “You cost my team awesome new weapons!”

“Really? I mean, I wasn’t calling the sword itself impractical,” contested Fox. “It’s just a bad grip.”

“Well yeah, but I’m not the flashiest of the team,” muttered Leon. “So, it’s safe in my hands, but—”

“Boss, Boss!” A lemur poked his head out from behind a staircase. “Is it my turn to come out yet?”

“Oho, I did think you were suspicious on that front…!”

“Shut up, Panther!”

“Hey, don’t ruin my entrance.”

“You’re both a couple of second-rate knuckleheads,” grumbled Wolf. He turned to Leon. “Why the hell did we hire them?”

“Well, we had to kick off Pigma and Andrew for being selfish jerks, more so than we’ve been,” recalled Leon. “Then we tried recruiting, but Panther was the only applicant for a while, because…perverted reasons.” Leon rolled his eyes. “And Algy, uh…to be honest, I forgot he was part of our ranks, so I don’t remember when he was added.” He pointed across at Star Fox. “And then they were supposed to be a team of four, which is why we brought him up, but I guess they bought a new ship.”

“Made! Made a new ship!” Slippy folded his arms. “I’m not a mechanic for giggles, you know!”

“That we…also paid for.” Peppy chuckled as Slippy glared at him. “Slip, these things do cost money, you know.”

“…Algy, please just get out here.”

“Finally!”

The lemur tumbled out and launched himself up high into the air. He dropped down and lifted a grenade, aiming it at Star Fox, grinning madly while he faced them.

“Time to show you losers who the real baddest merc team is! Whoo!” Algy swung his arms around and crossed them, in an attempt to make a cool pose. “Star Wolf in, baby!”

“You lit the bomb, Algy.”

“Wait, what?” Algy looked down at his grenade, which flickered. “Ah, crap!” He lobbed it off to the side, and it exploded, while someone unseen yelled out. “Sorry, Saru! My bad, buddy!”

“Who the hell is that?” Falco tilted his head.

“Name’s Algy!” Recomposing himself, Algy folded his arms. “I’m the Star Wolf member you’ve never wanted to meet!”

“For good reason,” muttered Wolf.

“Right on, Boss!” Algy grinned to him and then twisted back to Star Fox. “I’m the latest one to step up on the ranks with the legendary Star Wolf, and I—”

“I actually meant the other guy,” interrupted Falco, pointing off. “Like, who the heck got blown up over there?”

“Oh, Saru?” Wolf shrugged. “He’s a big ape guy, just kind of hangs around. Not a good fighter, but he’s nice, cleans the place up real good.” He paused as everyone stared at him. “…What? He’s helpful, so I kept him. I’m not that much of a jerk. Leon just vouched for me.”

“Didn’t know that Star Wolf was into roster padding,” observed Krystal.

“What?! I’m no cannon fodder, you hear?!” Algy slammed a fist into his palm. “I’m the real deal!” He winced and pulled back his hand, waving his palm. “Trust me, the day Wolf needs a great team to rival yours, I’ll be there and ready at his side!”

“Literally blowing that, Algy.”

“Sorry, Boss.”

“Shouldn’t we be fighting?” Fox scratched his head. “This seems like a needlessly long reintroduction to a team that we’ve rivaled against for years, going on decades.”

“Look, if our fans don’t keep us alive in some capacity, we’re doomed to obscurity,” reminded Wolf. “Just…let us have this.”

“I’m not a Star Wolf fanboy either!”

“Not you, Algy.”

“Oh. My bad, Boss.”

“Can we not let him go next?” Leon winced. “He doesn’t have to—”

“They already know he’s there, Leon,” reminded Wolf. “And if I don’t let him, I have to listen to it later. Better to rip the band-aid off.”

“But Wolf…”

“Ah, so it is my time at long last!”

Leon sighed as Panther back-flipped from behind another crate, tossing roses out as he spiraled around. They stuck into the floor crevices, creating a circle that Panther landed within. He twisted down, scooped up a rose, and lifted it near his face, smirking as Star Fox watched him.

“Allow me to reintroduce myself,” purred Panther.

“We all know who you are, Panther,” deadpanned Wolf.

“Aw, come on!”

“You do this every. Single. Time.” Leon groaned. “Can’t you just speed it up for once?”

“Oh, like your little sword antics went over all that well?” Panther placed his free hand on his hip, and pointed his flower at Leon accusingly. “Just because you have seniority does not help make you seem cooler.”

“…I am cool,” mumbled Leon. He glanced up to Wolf, who looked away. “Right, Wolf?”

“Uh…sure.”

“You hesitated.”

“No, no I didn’t.”

“After all we’ve been through—”

“Ooh, couple spat!” Panther sat down and clapped his hands together, while his teammates glared at him. “I love drama! Go on, go on, I want to see how this plays out. Algy, did you bring popcorn?”

“Uh, no?”

“See, this is why I wanted to promote Saru, Wolf.”

“Hey!”

“Well, he would have remembered the popcorn for the couple drama.” Panther folded his arms. “Saru enjoys my soaps.”

“Seriously, why didn’t you just promote Saru too?” Falco raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t that have made sense, even if you bumped up Algy just to match our roster? It would’ve been smarter to have more teammates than we did, right?”

“They really underestimated me tagging in again,” joked Peppy.

“No, we really did,” admitted Wolf. “Seriously, why did you even quit?”

“Look, we only had four ships, and I don’t make the rules,” persisted Peppy. “Besides, what about you? Falco made a good point.”

“Because we only had enough for four ships,” mumbled Wolf. “…I’m so sorry, Saru…”

“How come nobody else hired any more ladies to their rosters?” Krystal folded her arms and shifted her attention back and forth between Wolf and Fox, as they both avoided her attention. “I mean, really? Why am I the only one?”

“I don’t know if I’m allowed to talk about them,” murmured Fox.

“Them? Them who?”

“Please don’t ask. I don’t know if they’re supposed to be here or not.”

“Fine.” She turned back to Wolf. “And you?”

“Uh…I don’t want to.”

“That’s rude.”

“Look, Panther provides enough distractions for the whole team,” complained Wolf. “I don’t need to add in another one, especially one that he’d distract even more.”

“Oh, but that’s such a lovely idea!”

“Can it, Panther.”

“Come on, Wolf.” The cat lifted up and cradled himself around his team leader, getting very close to him. Wolf blushed but turned away. “Don’t you want to add more variety in? Or do you like having me all to yourself?”

“I like when you take things seriously,” deadpanned Wolf.

“This whole thing stopped being serious ages ago,” pointed out Panther. He patted Wolf’s head. “But, one day, my darling Wolf, you’ll understand.”

“I swear to Lylat, you are some form of divine retribution against me…”

“Hey, hey, back off the team leader,” snapped Leon.

“Aw, you’re not jealous, are you, Leon?” Panther zipped away from Wolf and hung himself around Leon, who groaned and rolled his eyes. “I would never forget you! My dearest friend and comrade among the Star Wolf team.”

“I’m Wolf’s, not yours.”

“Sharing is caring, you know.”

“And I don’t care.”

“You’re never any fun.” Panther pouted as he pulled away from Star Wolf and sauntered over to Star Fox. “See, this is why we have to invite Star Fox over. Because at least they make things entertaining!”

“They’re the enemy…wait, ‘invite?’” Wolf’s eyes widened. “Are you the reason they came hunting us out here today?! Did you tell them we were back?!”

“Guilty as charged!” Panther grinned as Wolf seethed.

“And he sent us cute little emojis with it too,” pointed out Slippy, lifting his phone. “Little hearts, kissy faces, and…wait, when did you even get all of our numbers?”

“Hacking.”

“Oh, neat.”

“Do you think so?” Panther leaned in close to Slippy. “Such a cute little toad…”

“Oh Lylat, are you flirting? With me?” Slippy ducked behind Falco. “Oh stars, I literally can’t handle people flirting with me! I’m never the one. Make it stop, make it stop!”

“He’s so cute when he’s shy like that!” Panther straightened up and leaned over Falco, who narrowed his eyes on him. “How about you, birdie? You’re not all squawks and ruffled feathers, right?”

“I got one cat that chases after me, and that’s plenty,” deadpanned Falco. “The ideal number would be zero, if I’m being honest, but that stuff never stops.”

“So touchy. You should open up more,” advised Panther. He smirked and slid over to his next target. “Ah, the ever lovely and beautiful space rose, Krystal—”

“Don’t.”

“Just a little—?”

“No.”

“Ok, fine.” Panther sighed. “Tough crowd today, honestly.”

“Boss, how come you let Panther flirt with everyone like that?”

“Because I don’t want to deal with it later,” reminded Wolf.

“But I thought—”

“Shut up, Algy.”

“Yes, Boss.”

“I seriously don’t understand any of this anymore,” admitted Fox. He blinked as Panther slid up before him. “…Uh.”

“The legendary hero of Lylat, Mister Fox McCloud.” Panther scooped up his hand lifted it to his lips, gently kissing at it. “It’s true what they say: you really are one of Lylat’s true beauties.”

“Um. I. Uh. Wow.”

“Yes, yes, moving on.” Panther lowered his eyes on the blushing Fox and turned to Peppy. “Now, for the dapper hare himself, I…” He paused and blinked, before slowly returning his attention to Fox. “Come again, my good Fox?”

“Ah, I, um. You know, uh.” Fox tugged on his collar, and tried to cover his red cheeks. “I’m not, ah, I-I don’t get that many, hum…”

A slow smile formed onto Panther’s face as his eyes locked onto Fox’s, with the latter wildly shifting his attention around to avoid his flirty rival’s gaze. Wolf groaned while Falco and Krystal jumped up behind Fox, glaring at Panther and his widening grin.

“Oh, I do believe I found my new favorite,” purred Panther.

“Hey, back off, he’s mine,” snapped Krystal.

“She means ours,” corrected Falco. “…As in the team’s, to be specific. Right?”

“Naturally.”

“Please, that’s all you offer him? I want to give him so much more.” Panther lifted Fox’s hand again. “My darling and precious Fox, what do you say? Shall we leave all of this madness behind?” His bright yellow eyes focused onto Fox. “Truly, I would prefer to explore the wonders of the galaxy with you, take you across the stars on a ravishing journey, where we could have soft, tender moments of—ack!”

Panther gagged as Wolf grabbed his collar and dragged him back from Fox. He flailed around and reached for Fox, but to no avail.

“Knew you got worse once you decided that gender had no bearing on your preferences,” grumbled Wolf. “You’re not allowed to go after him.”

“But…but he stuttered!”

“So?”

“And he blushed!”

“Your point?”

“He might actually fancy me!”

“That’s my rival, Panther.”

“You have Leon!”

“Neither of them is my—oh, forget it.” Wolf lowered his eye and scowled across the room to Fox. “You know what? You win. I’m done here, I’m tired, and today just isn’t worth it.”

“Wait, that’s it?”

“Yes, we’re leaving.”

“But now I’ll never know the effectiveness of this thing,” mumbled Leon, waving his sword. He clicked it to withdraw its energy blade and tucked it away. “…Maybe that’s a good thing, but still.”

“Just find another toy for us to play with,” deadpanned Wolf. “And don’t make that weirder than I did.”

“You know me just so well,” teased Leon.

“No, please, you don’t understand how long it’s been,” pleaded Panther. “I haven’t had anything remote to mutual affection in so long, and I’m so tired of rejection!”

“Don’t care.”

“This is my one chance though!” Panther scrambled against Wolf’s grip, but failed to break free. He held his arm out as he was dragged off. “Fox, my darling, my one true love! Please! Think of what we could have! I’ll never give up on you or us! Don’t forget this moment. Or our potential bond! My new space rose…” Wolf sighed and dragged Panther off to the ships. Panther’s voice shifted between higher and lower pitches as he wailed out. “No, no! Please! Mercy! Just this once, can’t you let love win? My one chance, don’t let me lose it! I beg of you, Wolf! Please, please, please!”

“Give it a rest, Panther.”

Star Fox watched as Star Wolf retreated off, speechless and unable to consider any other options. Algy narrowed his eyes on them and backed off after Star Wolf, mockingly waving his hand in a salute to Star Fox as he backpedaled.

“Star Wolf out, baby!”

“Algy?”

“Yeah, Boss?”

“Shut up.”

“Got it, Boss.”

They disappeared from sight, and the distant roars of the Wolfens confirmed their departure. Fox and his team waited in stunned silence for a moment, still processing whatever event spiraled out before them. Letting out a small sigh, Fox sank down and rubbed behind his neck, cheeks a bit red.

“Guys?” His team returned their attention to him. “…I think I’m into Panther.”

“Ew, that’s disgusting, Fox.”

“Dude, that is just gross, blech.”

“Ha, with how he uses flattery and colorful words, how could you not?” Slippy blinked as Falco and Krystal twisted around to glare at him. Deadpanning, he continued, “I mean. Oh no, Fox. Your standards.” Fox snorted while the other two rolled their eyes.

“Well…this has been a complete waste of a day,” determined Peppy.

“Not like we had anything better to do,” countered Fox.

“True. Sad, but very true,” relented Peppy.

“Do you think Pepper’s ever going to give us another real mission?” Falco placed his hand on his hip. “He hasn’t needed us to do much in a while.”

“Well, if he would stop retelling the ‘glory days’ of the Lylat Wars, that would probably help,” spat Krystal. “I wasn’t even around for any of that.”

“I just hope my nightmare about the evil fish overlords never comes true,” piped in Slippy. “That was the worst recurring dream ever.”

“Slippy, you have the weirdest dreams.”

“It’s not as bad as that guy who ranted about an evil toad that took over a whole world and was defeated when he threw vegetables at him,” protested Slippy. “Now that was a weird one!”

“That tanuki guy’s dream again?” Falco rolled his eyes. “You always bring him up.”

“You mean that salesman and mortgage guy?” Krystal tilted her head.

“No, that’s a different one. Long story.”

“Why don’t we save it for home?” Fox pointed out behind him. “There’s pretty much nothing else to do here.”

“Seconded, let’s go,” chimed in Peppy.

Slippy made a quick check over the damaged Arwings, making sure they would be capable of flight back to the Great Fox. Once he finished, everyone climbed back into their respective ships and took off.

Meanwhile, somewhere past the asteroid belt, four Wolfens drifted across space.

“So…what do we do now, Boss?”

“Dunno, repairs probably,” determined Wolf. “You can ask Saru for help.”

“Wait, whose ship is he in with?”

“…Ah, crap.”

Cycling back to the hideout, the four Wolfens sailed back for the hideout.