Gotham Online

This fic has not been abandoned! I am currently very busy, and I haven't had much time to write fic lately. I promise if I ever decide to abandon this fic (or any other) I will say so, but that is not the case. I have more chapters partially written and many more ideas too. Just a lack of time (and at times motivation) and sometimes my interest being captured by other things, but this fic will get more content at some point. ETA: The above is still true; although my main interests shift frequently I haven't lost interest in DC and I keep having ideas for this fic, just a lack of time and focus. (August, 2025)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Jade 💎 | BLM @artistjade

#OnlyInGotham local (maybe ex/reformed¿?) crime lord vigilante Red Hood and local celebrity kids, Tim Drake and Damian Wayne have beef and trade insults while one is saving the others from the villain of the week

Jade 💎 | BLM @artistjade

Like they were legit insulting eachother, Hood had a gun on his hand and at least two more that I could see strapped to his body and yet Tim Drake looked him dead in the eye and called him an asshole

Jade 💎 | BLM @artistjade

and like we all know Damian Wayne is Like That but calling THE Red Hood an "immature, sad excuse of a fighter" is next level these kids are insane

Red Hood @RealRHood

okay but drake is a bitch he's supposed to be an example and there he is talking about how he failed lit and history in high school don't talk me until you've passed your sophomore lit class you bitch

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

Blocked.

Red Hood @RealRHood

wait unlock me I've got something to say

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

Unblocked.

Red Hood @RealRHood

Bitch

Jade 💎 | BLM @artistjade

Tim Drake and Red Hood are fighting in this post I'm crying being held hostage at that gala turned up being the best thing that's ever happened to me

dancingbell-wing

i think i just met some rl angels

#in gotham too which is the last place you'd expect #im not sure this happened for real #maybe i was hit by some new jok** or ivy gas and hallucinated the whole thing #im omw home give me 30 minutes to shower and i'll tell you the whole story

dancingbell-wing

ok so....as many of my followers may know i work a really shitty customer service job and im also a sex worker because this is gotham and i need money to live right. so i had a pretty shitty night two nights ago with shit clients but there isnt much i can do about it. so i went to visit the local health clinic, which this being the worse side of gotham (all gotham is the bad side of gotham, this is just a particularly bad side), is horribly rundown and overworked and understaffed and all that. and while its true that wayne's been pumping more money into it its still pretty shit. but theyre the only place this side of gotham that does std testing for free (courtesy of wayne so tnx for that) and they only take a few days or about a week usually which is pretty fast considering.

so i went to the clinic to get a test done just in case (which i do regularly anyways but also after shit clients just in case) and ive been waiting for about half an hour at this point waiting to be called when these three girls walk in. they clearly dont belong in this side of gotham you can tell as much from first glance. i dont need to describe the type but some of you probably know what im talking about, sometimes you just know. and with these their faces were a huge tip off once you really looked. they were kinda dressed down, trying to blend in or not get recognised i guess but one of those was clearly the gcpd commissioner's daughter (barbara) and the other was wayne's daughter (cassandra i think?). im not sure who the third one was i don't keep up with gossip as much anymore but she seemed familiar too im sure ive seen her in the front page of gossip rags before.

anyways they walk in, or wheel in barbara's case. but they walk in and the third girl, the blonde one, goes to talk with the people at the front desk while barbara and wayne's kid stay to the side talking. signing, actually, but same thing.

im not sure if they actually came for a purpose but while they were there they did two things. number one they paid everything everyone present needed to have done. just, out of pocket. the blonde one just took out a credit card (that if shes to be believed is actually tim wayne's card??) and payed for everything the clinic would allow her. and the other thing they did was help around. im not sure how long they actually stayed, they were there at least two hours but they stayed after i left. but they just volunteered some time and extra hands. theyre all apparently trained in first aid and have some pretty extensive medical knowledge for people who didn't go to med school?? but yeah, they helped around.

wayne mostly helped out in storage and with some vaccines and injections from what i heard. i didn't actually see her much. the blonde one helped clean a few injuries, bandage some and helped one of the doctors get a cast on someones leg.

and barbara, who is apparently trained for it and had the certifications to prove it, mostly gave a quick sex ed lecture and talked about reproductive health and safety abortions and she was generally great and really helpful. and then she just stayed there, giving encouragement and company to all who needed it. she played with some of the kids in the waiting room, she answered privately some teenagers questions probably about the talk she gave, and then she went around talking w everyone.

she actually asked me about me and cared to listen. she didn't judge me at all about getting tested for stds as often as i do or about the sex work i do. she told me she knew some people who could make sure i was safer while working out in the streets and gave me the contact info of a local organization that works to ensure sex workers are safer by connecting us to a network of others and doing some basic background checks on any clients we ask, as well as providing a lot of amazing recourses of information and some basic health screenings all for free. she asked about my tattoos and my sister and my shitty retail job and when i told her i went to veterinary school for two years before dropping out she said she could maybe get me some work doing that if i was interested. even tho i dropped out.

she was just absolutely amazing the best person I've ever met she was absolutely nonjudgmental the whole time and really supportive of everyone. her sex ed and reproductive health talk wasn't just for cis straight people she talked about various possible combinations of sex w multiple different genitals involved (and with more than just two people too!) and when talking about reproductive health she wasnt like men this and women that she was like people with ovaries this and people with uteri that and people with penises this and blah she was great super trans inclusive and everything i know shes like eight years yougner than me but shes my new role model

#i cant believe this people are for real #they stright up said everyone who hasnt been vaccinated for all these things yet raise your hand and well pay for it rn #barbara gordon is my new icon #also the wayne kid gave highfives to everyone who asked thats really nice of her #i cant believe rich people are just like this sometyimes #barbara gordon #wayne family #cassandra wayne #? #onlyingotham

saskrobval

#OnlyInGotham Robin knocked on my window at 11pm to ask me if I knew my neighbor's cat and who her owner was and if they were fitted to be a cat owner because "she's declawed, do you know how bad that is for cats?" and he then asked about my art supplies and we talked about art for like a good half hour and he sat there stroking my neighbor's cat the whole time

#i really love this robin you guys #only in gotham #val talks

botdogandrobin

Robin is so sweet <3 he really loves animals and it shows <3

tribbles-trouble-three

yes!! a few months back my dog had been lost/stolen and he brought it back to me! and he was really concerned told me that when he'd found Benji (my dog) it looked like he hadn't eaten/drank anything in a while and he'd given him water and a bit of food but he didn't know if Benji had any dietary restrictions or problems so he didn't want to give him much in case he was messing that up. and then he was concerned because he'd picked up ticks while he was gone and he recommended me this one brand of product and when I said that one was crazy expensive he was really understanding about it. but then he left and the next morning I found a basket full of (really good) expensive dog products perfectly tailored to Benji on my front door. like it must've been at least 400 dollars worth of products and he just.. gave them to me!!

#fifth robin is the best robin #i would die for robin #so would benji #.txt

dash-inaflash

wait 5th? I thought this one was the 4th robin?

#robin #batman and robin #gotham #gotham heroes #fourth robin #fifth robin #4 robins theory

siskorebel-rp

these are all so clearly fake 🙄 there's no way any of this happend

#the stupid things people will make up for attention #this is why gotham sucks

gay-riddler-rights

you've clearly never been to gotham my friend

#i bet they're from metropolis or central

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

@DukeThomas4 just walked straight into a wall, apologized, turned around and walked into a door. @BruceWayne your sunshine child is sleep deprived come get him

TJ Peterson @zombiejay

lmao really 😂 pls tell me u have a video

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

ofc I do, sent it to @babsgordon already 😉

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

way to expose me steph you seem to forget youre not the only one collecting blackmail material in this family smh

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

wait no think about this for a second duke you're my favourite please don't do tbis

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

too late @Stephbbbb

[Video description: Stephanie Brown can be heard humming and mumbling the words to the Barbie Girl song but she's out of frame. We see a long, well-lit hallway with a few closed doors ending in a floor-to-ceiling window about five meters/sixteen feet away. We hear Stephanie get closer and a thump. Suddenly, Stephanie moves into frame. She's wearing gray and pink flannel shorts, a red crop top and blue crocs, her hair is up in a messy bun held by a purple scrunchie and she's got bulky green headphones covering her ears. You can faintly hear Barbie Girl coming from her headphones. She's skateboarding down the hall, her back to the camera and heading towards the window at the end of the hallway. Her speed doesn't change as she gets closer, the camera shakes, and just before she collides her hand comes up and she can be clearly heard yelling "SHIT!" She hits the window face first and falls to the side, laughter can be heard from behind the camera. Just before the video ends the camera shakily pans back up, zooms in, and a crack on the glass can be clearly seen where the skateboard hit the window.]

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

Before anyone asks, she was fine, this is just what the Dumb Energy™ is like in this house

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

NOOOOOOO

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

how could you betray me like this

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

you're dead to me you're not my favourite wayne brother anymore we're back to Dick

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

turns out a lot of waynes are dead and we're all pretty cool if you ask me

TJ Peterson @zombiejay

lmao 😂 well done thomas that's how we do youre my new favourite

Bruce Wayne @BruceWayne

I knew it wasn't a bird. You lied to Alfred... We're talking about this next time I see you Steph. Also, children, this is why you aren't allowed to skate inside.

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

would you look at that, suddenlu i'm jared, 19

lesbianivygoals

smth that I love about Gotham is that while we're not even sure Batman is human (see: Batman is a vampire theory [1] [2] [3] [4], Robin is an eldritch entity theory [1], Robin is a trapped spirit/ghost theory [1] [2], Robin is immortal thoery [1] [2] [3], Batman is a literal part bat part man theory [1] [2], Batman isn't human theory recap [1] [2] [3], etc.) we absolutely know by name every villain in Gotham.

poison ivy? she gave ecoambiental talks in the park right next to where I lived as a kid when she was in her teens. riddler? I think he used to work in the GCPD. Harley Quinn? went to med school w/ my cousin and I think with Bruce Wayne too before he dropped out?? twoface was a lawyer and like a good one too

they're all just people we know. I saw penguin in a coffee shop once and he ordered a blueberry muffin with his coffee and I feel like I know him intimately now

EDIT: I'm not gonna out them! if you're from Gorham you know, if you don't I'm sorry but these are people with lives who don't do much other than inconvenience most of us and some light property destruction (and it's usually government property too. they know what they're doing). I'm not gonna tell you who they are just so y'all who don't even know then/are affected by them at all can go on an internet crusade. if you wanna go on an actual crusade someone kill Joker. if you're not gonna do that stay out of our business.

#gotham #only in gotham #batman #robin #riddler #poison ivy #harley quinn #two face #penguin #bruce wayne #joker mention #listen i get that they're all criminals but ivy harley and riddler are annoyances at most #twoface and penguin maybe are actual criminals who actually kill pople sometimes but still #if you aren't from gotham don't even look at this post

Chapter 2 Chapter Text

the-picture-doryan-made

Bruce Wayne told me to follow my dreams and a decade later introduced me to his son: storytime!

I've been asked to tell this story every time I mention it so here it finally is. so, I moved to Gotham from WV almost eleven years ago now. I had heard a lot of weird shit about Gotham and was predictably a bit scared when I first moved. I was 19, had less than $500 to my name and barely finished high school. also, I'm a disabled trans queer latine, so like, I had everything stacked against me.

so one day I went to visit Gotham U to see if they had any free courses I could sign up to, anything. so I'm walking through the hallways trying to find someone who can help me and low-key terrified because this is the first time I've been in any school setting in like 2 years. so I'm absolutely not looking where I'm going just trying not to have an anxiety attack in the hallway when I bump into someone. no one fell no one got injured, that's good.

I look up and it's this nice looking man in a suit. (spoiler alert: I didn't know it then but it was Bruce Wayne) he asks me if I'm fine, I say yeah, and idk how but we got talking. he was super nice to me, the nicest adult I'd interacted with in years for sure. I just got the feeling he was like legit listening to me and like interested in hearing what I was saying yknow? the first thing he did after he was sure I was okay from bumping into him was pick up my cane for me, introduce himself with name (no last name) and pronouns, and ask me mine. he was the first person irl I ever heard introduce themselves with their pronouns!! eleven years ago!!!

anyways, he was super nice and we got talking and he told me he'd come with his son (Dick Grayson) to check out the collage and his son ditched him for some new friends he'd made (and when he said it he wasn't bitter about it at all! he sounded really proud/happy that Grayson had made friends already!) and I told him I had just moved to Gotham and was trying to see if there were any free courses I could take/if there was any job I could find around there. and then he asked me what I was interested in and I got talking about art and he asked to see some of my sketches and he was legit really nice about it, he said I was great and that I could really do smth great and blah blah.

anyways, he was amazing. we left. like three days later tho, I got an email from someone from uni saying I'd gotten a full scholarship for the arts program and then I got offered a job at the campus canteen which was kinda shit but it was a job!! and then four years later I randomly (or not so randomly? to this day I still believe it may have been Mr Wayne somehow bc I got no idea how it happened otherwise) I was invited by a pretty important Gotham art gallery to showcase my work (which was absolutely crazy) and I got a lot of people interested in me there and now it's been eleven years right and I'm still doing my art and I've had a stable job with a good salary for about 6 years at this point, and a few months back I'm in another art gallery showcasing some of my work again and it's not that big a deal this time and there's not that many famous people except, who's that person coming in? you guessed it, Bruce fucking Wayne. so he starts looking around, people start trying to corner him like vultures and here I am sitting in my wheelchair by the wall next to my shit and resisting the urge to take out my phone and fidget nervously like I've been for the past hour. but then Mr Wayne walks over to me, and I see his face when he sees me and he recognises me and he smiles and he walks over and smiles and says "hello, you're Alan right?" and I say "Mr Wayne, hi. yes. I go by Doryan now, but yes." and he goes "Oh, of course, I'm sorry Doryan. Bruce Wayne, he/him, is it okay if I shake your hand?" and he offers his hand. like he reintroduced himself to give me an opportunity to introduce myself, and he asked if it was okay to shake hands instead of just assuming, like oh my god this man!! so I go "yes of course. Doryan Brell, xe/they, it's a pleasure to meet you again Mr Wayne" and we shake hands and then he tells me to call him Bruce and he started asking about my art and legit complementing me and he asked if it was okay for him to buy some of my things like yes of course you're Bruce fucking Wayne you can buy my life if you want to. and then he said he wanted me to meet his son and I was legit panicking because !!! WHAT!! and he looks around him and then sighs and grabs his phone and messages someone I assume? and two seconds later Damian Wayne emerges from the shadows or smth I don't know!! he wasn't there one second and he was the next!! I swear no one even saw him walk into the gallery!! I don't know!! but anyways Mr Wayne introduces us and he's like "Damian, this is Doryan, xe's that artist I told you about" ??? like what the fuck Bruce fucking Wayne told his kid about me????? and Damian is like "huh" and he starts looking through my things and he turns and says to Mr Wayne "xe is, indeed, good with shadowing father. you were, surprisingly, right." and he turns and keeps looking through my things and Mr Wayne sighs and I'm there like ???what the fuck is happening??? and anyways Mr Wayne talks w me a bit more and then he leaves and Damian stays there!! And the then started talking with me!! he asked me about materials and shit!! Damian Wayne!! kid popular for being Bruce wayne's kid and for hating absolutely everyone and never talking with the public!! what the fuck!!!

anyways, the next day I found out that Mr Wayne bought two of my pieces at thrice the price I had them and left a tip of 100% and Damian Wayne bought one and also paid 300% and tipped 100% and he left a comment saying I had an "impressive mixing technique considering the materials you're using" and I've been dying ever since what the fuck Gotham is wack I've never been more glad I got kicked out

#bruce wayne #damian wayne #doryan says things #storytime #only in gotham #I'm still not over this #yes my homphobic transpobic parents kicked me out when I was 18 but thanks to that I got bruce and damian wayne to complement my art and pay me half a year worth of rent so who's the loser now dad?

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

Bruce Wayne just walked inaskjdjkashdj

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

I work in a toy store whAT is he doing here why does he look simultaneously like he just woke up and like he came from a magazine photoshoot what's going on

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

He's walking around clearly looking for something specific by the way he's scanning the shelves I'm Scared

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

Ohhh he stopped at the boardgames section now I'm legit curious what type of boardgame Bruce Wayne likes

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

He grabbed two boxes but I can't see what they are from here

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

Oh he's walking my way fuck fuck fuck

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

Skjdskldjklh holY SHIT

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

First things first he grabbed settlers of catan because "the last board ended up in the fireplace" (I didn't ask) and cARDS AGAINST HUMANITY because "I heard the kids say it's a good one" I don't think he knows what cah is I'm losing my mind

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

Anyways, he asked if we had any Robin themed toys or merch, and he then asked for all Bat-associated vigilantes except Batman himself because "the kids like them but Batman is lame."

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

Bruce Wayne said that Batman is lame what even is my life anymore

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

Anyways, in the end he bought catan, cah, what do you meme ("teenagers like memes right?"), five of the same Robin figurines and nine Batman blankets (why??) He then asked if he could tip and when I said that people don't normally tip in toy stores he shrugged and handed me $200

duckmorelikedickwayne

does anyone else find it funny that bruce wayne keeps adopting kids? like if you asked me fifteen years ago if I thought bruce wayne would be a good parent I'd have laughed in your face (sorry mr wayne) but nowadays I see in the news that bruce wayne adopted a new kid every week and every time I think "good for them"

#them being wayne and the new kid and also the whole wayne family #bruce wayne #gotham things #ali speaks

Himbo Rights @connor_anderson_1

@DickGrayson thoughts on having a new sibling every other week?

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

It's great, I love all my siblings, but I think Bruce may have a problem. Once we had one of Tim's friends staying with us for a few days and I (who had just met the friend) just sort of... assumed they'd been adopted too. I was pretty confused when after two weeks my new sibling suddenly moved out, but not as confused as Bruce was when I asked if after all these years he finally started giving us back.

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

We still joke this kid is my sibling whenever we see each other, to everyone's (Bruce's) sudden confusion.

princess-dick-grayson

I think red robin just landed in my neighbor's roof

#what

princess-dick-grayson

yep, that's him. he's sitting there just chilling adorably dangling his free from the edge of the rooftop

#only in gotham

princess-dick-grayson

i'm gonna try and take a pic wait

princess-dick-grayson

got it!

[Image Description: Darkened view of a rooftop at night taken from above (not by much, a couple meters or about six feet) through an open window. There's a figure wearing a black cowl covering their whole head sitting at the edge of the rooftop, their back and left side to the camera. A black cape falls to their right side, giving the camera a view of their back; a red uniform that almost looks black in the photograph thanks to the darkness and quality of the picture, with some yellow accents on their back and a yellow belt. An edge of the windowsill is visible in the picture.]

princess-dick-grayson

oH SHIT RED HOOD JUST LANDED ON THE SAME ROOFTOP

#saksjdksjd wHAT

princess-dick-grayson

oh wait they're talking I think red robin was waiting for him

#are they friends?? #vigilante gossip #?

princess-dick-grayson

they're sharing snacks!!! red robin took a pair of what looks like cereal bars from?? somewhere? and he offered hood one! he's munching on the other one and hood took it but isn't eatkng it

#i think theu may legit be friends #this is getting kinda long isn't it #long post #mine

princess-dick-grayson

I can't hear what they're saying but they're talking about smth for sure, good just sat down with robin

#i feel like my grandma sharing neighborhood gossip #vigilante gossip #red hood #red robin #long post #mine

princess-dick-grayson

shit my dog started barking and it startled them and red hood turned (aiming a gun at me, terrifying much) and saw me shit shit shit

#holy fuck holy shit fuck #aaaaaa help me wjhat do i do if a vigilante shoots me #fuck theyr still looking aty me bye

princess-dick-grayson

red robin calmed him down (I think? or smth) and hood just left, he just turned and jumped off the side of the building. robin just nodded at me and followed him wtf

#this was absolutely terrifying #the next time I see vigilantes in a rooftop I'm turning around and walking away #red hood #red robin #long post #mine

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

The old man invited us all over for a game night because he got some new board games and once he had us all finally in the same room he pulled out cards against humanity. Tim and Steph haven't stopped laughing, it's been five minutes and they're both crying. I'm startign to get worried.

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

We're forcing B to play with us.

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

Oh god someone brought Alfred into it.

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

B lasted four rounds before leaving. Alfred lasted nine before we asked him to leave.

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

We have nothing against Alfred but playing CAH with Alfred should be illegal, he raised like all of us, we can't do that. (Love you Alf 💙)

Sol (she/they) @nightwingsthighs

ASLJDFHAJKASJGFIYQBAJH FUCKIING HAHAHAHAHAH

Chapter 3 Chapter Text

juan | el/he @fanderslander

i just saw robin walk out of an alley carrying three cats what a mood

Santi 🏳️🌈 @santiago_cortezz

I think Robin is on my roof playing with some cats?? I def saw him jump up there and he was carrying smth maybe? And now there's a lot of meowing coming from above

destiel is canon @darrydestieljohnlock

Robin just knocked on my kitchen window (I was awake and w the ligjts on but it's almost 4am) and asked me for some water for some cats he was carrying what the fuck is this normal in gotham

Bella - she/her @nothankyoucat

i woke up twenty minutes before my alarm because robin crashed into my windw (he at least didnt break it) but it was worth it because he let me pet some kittens

Bella - she/her @nothankyoucat

unrelated but why is there someone in the news talking about bruce wayne having cavities when he was seven at six in the morning wjat a shitshiow

Gotham Animal Care Center @GC-ACC

Thank you Robin for bringing to us these cuties! We would like to remind everyone that our hours are from 8 AM - 8 PM and we have a lot of potential friends up for adoption! (And we would like to apologize, Robin, for making you wait until 8 AM, but thank you again for trusting us with this.)

[Image Description: A pair of black and green gloved arms hold three kittens against a red clad chest. The kitten on the left is black and white, the other two are gray and stripped with white. The kitten on the right is sitting with his back and tail to the camera, the one in the left looks asleep and the one in the middle is looking above at something off-camera. A yellow 'R' in a black circle is visible above the kittens, over where the person's heart would be.]

Red Hood Stan @taylertoyler

brb running off to adopt some kittens

Damian Wayne | he/him @DamianWayne

Having animals as pets is a responsibility, not a game. Do not commit to having a life dependent on you if you're not ready for it (emotionally, financially, everything). You have to treat animals with respect and you have to earn their trust too. If this is not what you want then maybe get a doll or plushie. And adopt, don't buy.

Red Hood Stan @taylertoyler

i feel called out but your right thank you very much kind sir

Chapter 4 Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

robintears

red hood is wack because he's amazing interacting with street kids, he's always helpful and respectful and never talks down to them, but then you see him threatening robin with a gun in a semi weekly basis and he also gave shit to the wayne kids that one time

#red hood #robin #only in gotham #gun mention

hooder-bitch

yeah because he obviously grew up in gotham's streets, he knows how to talk to us because he one of us

#i'm not a gotham street kid anymore because i'm a gotham street adult #same as him #red hood #mod KL

superboylane

Okay but are none of you gothamites worried about having a maniac who threatens children with guns running around your city? Didn't he try to kill batman and nighwing too? Why are you okay with him??

hooder-bitch

yes he did try to kill them. no he didn't kill them and he isn't trying anymore. he hasn't killed anyone in almost a year and the people he killed were mob bosses and rapists mostly. and he's if not a bat at least bat adjacent and that's enough for me. also he is bat adjacent as i already said, so i don't think his threats against robin are too serious

#i doubt batman would let robin hang around hood if he were an actual danger to him #batman is like an helicopter parent we know this already #remember when hood pushed red robin off of that building a few weeks ago and they were seen buying burgers together a few hours later #i love him #red hood #mod Ser

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

Quick poll to show Bruce I'm right: which Star Trek is better?

58% - The Next Generation

42% - Deep Space Nine

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

What!!? No! Fuck you guys, 58% of you don't have any taste. DS9 is clearly the superior Trek.

Bruce Wayne @BruceWayne

Can we just watch the show now Tim?

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

I've been asked to rank my favorite Treks, so here is the correct order:

1) DS9 2) TNG 3) TOS 4) VOY 5) DSC (I haven't watched s3 yet) 6) TAS 7) LOW 8) Picard 9) ENT

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

I have nothing to justify or apologize for, but I will say this: they made ENT unnecessarily horny and not in a good way like TOS and TNG horny, they made it weird horny.

immortalwives

I work as an assistant for a person in a high position in a company that will remain unnamed because I don't want to be identified and/or fired, and so I had to go with my boss at a meeting in Wayne Enterprises today and while we were waiting we saw Bruce Wayne come out of an elevator, dressed in a perfectly tailored suit with perfect hair and all but. but he had a moustache drawn in black marker. and Tim Drake was walking behid him trying to stealthily record everything on his phone by the looks of it while trying and absolutley failing not to laugh. I don't think Bruce Wayne realized he had marker on his face but he absolutely made my day

#imagine being the son of one of the richest most impotant people on the planet and drawing their face with marker while at work #Tim Drake living the dream life #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #txt #only in gotham

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

@BruceWayne fell asleep in a meeting today so I drew him a moustache and he didn't notice for the rest of the day. He just went to other meetings and went outside and did shit and absolutely no one told him, this is why I love this city. Shoutout to my man @AlfPennyworth who also didn't tell him, thanks Alfred.

[Image Description: Slightly blurry picture of Bruce Wayne in what looks to be the interior of a car. He's got his suit jacket open and he seems to be in the middle of untying his tie. His hair is slightly tousled to the side and he's got a wonky black line painted above his mouth reaching a few centimeters into both cheeks and curling upwards. He's smiling faintly and looking forward.]

Bruce Wayne @BruceWayne

Tim, while I encourage your artistic endeavours, I could really get you better canvases than my face... But also, this explains why everyone was looking at me like that today.

TJ Peterson @zombiejay

you got weirdly almost sweet there old man be careful that you may have an emotion and die or smth

Notes:

just for the record: tim's opinions on star trek are not my own, i've only watched tos and dsc s1&2 and im on s1 of tng, so dont @ me for that i mostly made it up

Chapter 5 Chapter Text

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

for those wondering whats it like living w the waynes: this house is either absolute madness (normally every day) or hell itself (when Alfred is gone)

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

for starters dick likes to sit in the chandeliers just because, sometimes he hangs upside down from them

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

i've seen tim mix energy drinks into his coffee AT LEAST ten times and i stopped counting after that because it stopped being terrifying (actually no not it didnt) and it became upsetting

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

damian has so many pets theyve actually taken over the lower floors of the west wing like theres a cow there's an OSTRICH HELLO!?!??

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

just to be clear theres a barn outside so theres absolutely no reason for a cow to walk into the room when i'm trying to find some peace and quiet away from everyone

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

he's clearly his fathers son tho adopting strays left and right

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

cass is an angel and has done nothing wrong ever but she's also the sneakiest person alive and 1) always scares the shit out of me (and everyone) when she appears out of thin air and 2) has so much blackmail material on all of us

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

worst thing is she never uses it she sends it to barbara

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

speaking of barbara she's a goddess and i would absolutely die for her if she asked but also she's the queen of blackmail material and she exploded the oven that one time trying to bake some brownies. she can cook fine tho

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

and steph! she's been practically living here for years she's just another sister at this point but 1) she can't cook for shit and will absolutley start a food fight and 2) she's always starts the prank wars

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

there's at least three other people who kinda live here who would rather not be mentioned so h and c you guys are mostly okay except for the pranks and c won't stop eating my cereal

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

and j you know what you did (i'm talking abt last week not That Thing) but also i'm your favorite brother you said so yourself pls don't murder me

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

also you're the best cook and baker out of all of us after Alfred

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

and finally bruce who cant cook for shit he's been banned from the kitchen since he was ten and then again every year since

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

he's been tryinh and failing to cook Alfred breakast for fathers day for like twenty five years now and he still always ruins a pan with the eggs ! thats twenty five ruined pans!!

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

also he not only doesnt know how to work th laundry machine but he also doesnt know where it is!! In his own house!

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

and he only owns all identical black socks and he doesnt like having them in pairs and instead has them all singly thrown into a drawer that he just opens and grabs the two first socks he touches

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

but other than that hes a really great person and a good dad/parental figure/legal guardian and cares and loves all his kids and he doesnt admit cass is his favorite so the rest of us dont feel bad (cass is everyones favorite its fine)

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

anyways the point of all this was that this house would absolutely collapse into itself without Alfred and he's a saint and we love him and none of us would survive without him and thats the reason he takes multiple one week vacations through the year and nt one long vacation; we would probably burn down the manor

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

also just for th record i feel safe saying all this about the b man bc if he wasnt mad at tim after he exploded half the tvs in the manor theres no way a little bit of public embarassment coming drom me is half as bad as that

Alfred Pennyworth @AlfPennyworth

Thank you very much, Master Duke. It is appreciated.

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

HE DISNT KNOW THAT WAS ME DUKE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE SKSKJSAKAJSKEJ FUCK

Alfred Pennyworth @AlfPennyworth

Master Tim, shall we have another conversation about healthy habits?

Tim Drake @TDrakeWayne

sjsksnsms no I'm so sorry Alfred ily <3

Alfred Pennyworth @AlfPennyworth

Loving me won't prevent you from having a heart attack in your thirties if you continue like this, Master Tim.

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

Listen Duke, it's fun.

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

you have trapezes installed in the gym

Dick | he/him @DickGrayson

Yes but have you seen Bruce's face when I'm hanging from the ceiling? He looks so panicked, it's hilarious. Hasn't changed in ten years.

Damian Wayne | he/him @DamianWayne

I've seen you petting Richard (the ostrich) when you think no one is looking and you keep trying to sneak Alfred (the cat) to your room, Thomas.

Cass 🙊 (she/her) @CassCWayne

🖤💛

Babs 💖💕 | she/her @babsgordon

The oven was Jason's fault, not mine. He put the whole packet of baking soda into the mix.

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

ive been freeloading off of bruce for half a decade 💸 i walked in one day, picked a room, set camp and havent left yet. then i started asking him for money and demanded he pay my tuition and he never said a word abt it 💳🤑

Steph 💅🏻 @Stephbbbb

one time when he was drunk he askrd me if hed adopted me and forgot about it 😂😂

Harper 🕊️ @rowharperr

I appreciate you not mentioning me but also you're as bad as everyone else in the prank wars you don't get to talk (but you're also mostly okay <3)

a mess 🏳️🌈 @cullen_row

sharing is caring my dear brother. plus, if anyone owns anything in the kitchen is Alfred, so it would be his cereal, not yours.

TJ Peterson @zombiejay

.......

Bruce Wayne @BruceWayne

I can afford some new pans Duke, and isn't the sentiment what counts?

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

youre bitter about it and dont wanna admit it arent you

Bruce Wayne @BruceWayne

Maybe...

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

and do you have anything to say about the loundary or your socks

Bruce Wayne @BruceWayne

It is inefficient to have socks in pairs in a drawer when they are all identical and the only thing in said drawer.

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

and about the laundry

Bruce Wayne @BruceWayne

...no thank you.

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

and about cass being your favorite

Bruce Wayne @BruceWayne

I never said she was

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

but you never denied it either

Duke 🌻 @DukeThomas4

its been an hour lmao

ballenberrybruebluce

im cryinG has anyone seen duke thomas exposing his whole familu on twitter

#this is hilariuos i love him #hes so fucking funny we stan a king #he really looked at the welthiest family alive in the eyes and said youre all A Mess #i stan him so bad #duke thomas #waynes #wayne family

dobe-van-ray

wait no I don't know what you're talking about what happened?

#I delete twitter and two days later I'm being told smth happened on twitter

Wayne-media-recap

We posted screenshots of the whole exchange here !

#mod red

dobe-van-ray

thanks!

dobe-van-ray

oh my g*d that's great lmao I can totally picture 10yo Dick hanging from chandeliers and Bruce looking up at this kid that he just brought in from the circus and regretting all his life choices lmao

#I'm not saying Bruce Wayne regretts having children or adopting Dick this is just a joke don't @ me #also now i fear Tim Drake even more wtf

supermans-bussy

wait wait who's that steph chick who's freeloading off of bruce wayne and why is she suhc a mood??

Tim-DrakesWife

She's a friend of Tim and they may have dated for a lil bit but not anymore. What I'm curious about is who are those three unnamed people he mentions, H C and J... There's two accounts that responded to the tweets that I guess are H and C, @/rowharperr and @/cullen_row on twitter but they're both private accounts, and I don't know about J. I'm curious about why they don't want to be mentioned and why/how are they living with the Waynes without anyone knowing

#Stephanie Brown #Tim Drake #Duke Thomas #Harper Row #? #Cullen Row #? #Twitter #Wayne Family

LaurenGrayke

Duke said they'd rather not be mentioned and they've clearly avoided the public if no one knows abt them so we should continue to respect their privacy and not look into them or start stalking the waynes for answers (again)

#last time people were curious about someone (steph) paparazzi stalked and harassed 13yo tim so much he ended up having a public breakdown about it in the middle of a gala #or how after jason todd died dick WHO WAS MOURNING HIS BROTHER BTW moved out of gotham and refused to give interviews for YEARS bc of how much they harassed him #waynes #wayne fam

brucebat-is-real

☝️☝️☝️ THIS ☝️☝️☝️

#leave them the fuck alone #i will fight everyone i see speculating about the waynes &co #esp their privates lives #i already saw someone talking about how one of those peoples twitter handle has a pride flag so he has to be someones boyfriend ans speculating which one of the w boys is gay #people are disgusting #i will be blocking everyone i see doing this shit

wayncest-ftw

okay but what I love most about duke's tweets is the amount of alfred love can we talk about this for a sec?

alfred pennyworth has been the wayne family buttler for at least forty years, he became bruce wayne's legal guardian after his parents death and he raised him alone since he was eight. this man who didn't ask to suddenly become solely responsible for a child and yet raised him anyways. bruce wayne has been making him (or trying to, lol) breakfast for fathers day since he was a kid!! he considers him his father! and then when he started getting kids of his own alfred was there to help him raise them!! bc let's be honest ten years ago bruce wayne who'd jsut got legal guardianship of dick grayson probably had absolutly no idea about how to raise a kid, but look at him now! he's got how many? like five? seven? ten? I have legit no idea how many kids he actually has bit it's somewhere between five and twelve I think lol

and also that thing duke was saying about none of them surviving w/o alfred that's probably true too! like think about it, the responsible adult/dad is bruce wayne who's lived w alfred cooking for him and doing his laundry his whole life, he doesn't know where the laundry machine is ffs! and the children half of them are teenagers and the rest have been living w alfred since they were teenagers so it's understandable that they wouldn't know how to do any of those things bc alfred has been doing it for them

now that I think about it I'm pretty sure (some of at least) the kids must consider him their grandpa, which he totally is

#alfred pennyworth raised the best man in gotham and we all owe him that's all I'm saying #also I think it's hilarious the only capitals duke used on his tweets were either for emphasis or the a in Alfred's name #that was one hundred percent intentional that's all I'm saying #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #wayne family #wayne fam #waynes #gotham things #r speaks

Chapter 6 Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

babyoda-moods

skdjakljñsksnk you guys!! I just found out that my granny who lives in Blüdhaven has been following Nightwing around her neighbourhood whenever he shows up there and she's been livestreaming his fights because my cousins said they were fans sjdksksksm whAT

#like wHAT #she's 72 #can you picture a 72yo italian woman following a vigilante around w her walking stick and just recording him?? #is my granny insane is this dangerous what do i do about this #nightwing #only in gotham #this is blüd tho #still counts right #only in blüdhaven #? #nightwing watch

Red-Robin-Rights

wait wait wait. has your grandma been who's been livestreaming nightwings fights on yt this whole time?? this channel?? have I been subscribed to your grandma for four months and never knew??

#sarah this is important #we've been friends for seven years #if this is actually your grandma i'm gonna lose it

babyoda-moods

tHATS MY GRANNY YEAH SJDKSKSKSM

#ALEX HOLY SHIT #why didnt you tell me why am i the last to find out abt my grannys yt chanel and vigilante following adventures

Red-Robin-Rights

yOURE KIDDING MESHDJDKDKDJKK

#SARAH SLDJLKSFJLKSDK

Nightwing Fight #38

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[Video Description: The video begins with the camera shakily pointing upwards towards some low buildings. The camera continues shaking and moving, until it turns a corner and it pans downwards. Nightwing is now visible and clearly recognisable under the street lamps, as he fights against three people dressed mostly in black. There's two other figures also dressed in black laying in the ground a few feet away visible in frame. They're fighting in what looks to be the entrance to a warehouse or factory. Nightwing is easily dodging most punches aimed at him, and when one of the assailants pulls out a gun Nightwing quickly hits their hand with his bo staff and the gun drops. He then continues to dodge and jump around the assailants, hitting them with his staff mostly in their legs and torso, clearly not too hard considering the way they aren't falling to the ground from his hits. The camera suddenly moves to show a new person, also dressed in black, in the entrance to the warehouse, a gun in their hand and aiming towards the fight. Nightwing is seen at the edge of the frame pausing for a second, turning to the new figure and immediately throwing his bo staff at them. It hits them in the shoulder and the figure tropples down, dropping the gun. The camera shakily pans back towards Nightwing and he's seen incapacitating the three people he was fighting in a matter of moments. A well placed kick to the back of one's leg has them dropping to the ground with a yell and the second one gets their arm pulled backwards in a painful angle and a knee to their lower back which makes them fall down instantly. Nightwing then turns to the third one and sprints towards them. The assailant falls into a defensive position but Nightwing doesn't attack, instead he jumps into the air just before colliding with them. He does an impressive front flip over their head and lands perfectly behind their back, where he immediately turns and places a pair of handcuffs he seems to have produced from thin air (but were probably somewhere in his belt) into their wrists and with a light kick to their back to their knee they fall as well. Nightwing then turns towards the back of the wearhouse, nods to himself and does a quick work of restraining the fallen assailants around him with zip ties. He's seen heading back towards the wearhouse and the video ends. During the video you can hear the background noise of the city, occasional cars or bikes passing by, a few shouts in the distance, the faint sounds of the fight from this distance and the light breathing of the person holding the camera.]