Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Technoblade felt at home in the Nether, even though it wasn’t exactly a welcome feeling. He was half piglin, with the tusks, ears, and hooves that came along with it. Aside from the fact he had obvious pig-like traits, he had a fairly normal male human body. He had quite a few scars, including one on the bridge of his nose, mostly hidden by his snout. His torso and hands had the most scars, but he showed off the ones on his hands like the gold rings that adorned his fingers. The countless battles the Blood God had been in were far more than the scars he owned, but Techno knew he would get more scars than he had already.

As Techno wandered the Nether, he took out the Loadstone Compass he had found earlier in the ruins of Dream’s old makeshift base. Techno checked the compass, named “ Temple ”, to make sure he was headed in the right direction. He surprisingly hadn’t run into many Piglins or Ghasts during the hour he had been walking through the Nether. Techno had no idea where he was going nor what he would find there, but he was curious as to what Dream was so interested in.

“I hope I’m getting close to whatever this leads to. I’m getting sick of this place.” Techno glanced around and realized he was on a thin path between two giant lava lakes. He was dangerously close to the one on his left. Just one wrong step could cause the path to crumble under him, dropping him dangerously close to the bubbling magma. He wouldn’t even have landed in the lava since there was a small ledge nearby the bottom. “That… isn’t terrifying at all.”

The compass turned slightly to the left as Techno got back to safer land. The movement was small, but it still caught Techno’s attention. He headed in the direction the compass had turned and after five minutes of walking Techno almost walked off yet another cliff. The compass was still pointing forward, and as Techno peered down, he saw what looked like a city’s worth of piglins, which was a city too much mind you, gathering around the entrance of what looked like a castle bastion. Bastions were already big, but this was ginormous and Techno could tell that there was more of it underground. The landforms around it hid it perfectly from view since it went into a cave rather than remaining out in the open.

Blood. Kill them. What’s that? This is new. WhAt’S ThaT you say? We should leave. There might be loot there. E. This is obviously lore. Tell Phil, he might know what this is. Does Dream have a piglin cult or something? Call dadza! Techno shook his head. The voices seemed to be just as confused as him about this weird build, but he was also curious, so decided to sit and watch. He built a small hole for himself in the wall of the cliff so mobs didn’t bother him and sat down. Only a few of the piglins were armed and those ones were outside of the bigger crowd, easy to see, easy to kill- No Techno thought. I’m just going to watch. There were even piglins riding hoglins and striders. Striders were something Techno never wanted to know the name of but was told anyway. The voices had quieted down a bit, still loud but quiet enough to not give Techno a migraine. 

A giant hoglin emerged from the castle and rather than running away from it, the piglins instead crowded around it. Techno opened up the message window and whispered to Phil “ I found something interesting. You should come check it out,” and sent Phil his coords. He turned back to the crowd beneath him. The armed piglins seemed to be backing away towards a ravine that the other piglins had come from. It became deafeningly quiet for a good minute before the hogin, which had previously been looking around at the piglins, roared. The air erupted into panicked squeals as the piglins rushed towards the ravine. Techno scooted further into the hole he had made and plugged his ears, despite how difficult it was with pig ears. The bandages on his arms from his execution and the Revolution brushed against his face. Him plugging his ears didn’t block out the voices, but it did drown the noise of the commotion below. After what seemed like an eternity, he unplugged his ears to a chilling silence. No mob noises, no lava hisses, no crumbling rocks, nothing. 

Techno glanced at the clearing below and saw the hoglin, all bloody, standing in the middle of hundreds of piglin corpses. He knew they would come back as the more docile zombie piglins, but it was still a horrifying sight, even for a man who had fought in countless different wars. The hoglin went back into the bastion and in a moment of pure curiosity and stupidity that Techno couldn’t even explain, he slid down the cliffside and followed the hoglin. 

Yes! Turn back :(! Kill it! Take its clout! Wait for Phil! This is definitely lore. How did it do that? Are you an idiot? Idiotblade. You’re joking, right? There could be loot! Techno entered the strange bastion. There was no trace of the hoglin aside from the dead bodies outside and Techno was curious, so he wandered. There were chests of loot scattered around in the hallways. There wasn’t the best stuff in them, some wood, sticks, bows, and other wooden tools. Normal wood was a very rare resource in the Nether, so this might’ve been a pretty important place. He was thinking of heading back when he entered a chapel with the hoglin sleeping in the middle of it. He immediately began backing up, startled, glad the ground wasn’t made of blackstone. Techno wasn’t exactly thrilled at the idea of fighting a giant, murderous beast, but he would if he had to.

As Techno stumbled back at the sight of the hoglin, it opened its eyes and stared Techno in the eyes. Red eyes met red and white as Techno walked back. Rather than charging, like Techno had presumed it would, it merely got up and walked towards Techno. The hoglin was at least twice Techno’s height, but it seemed friendly enough at the time. Techno hesitated, not knowing what to do, his hand itching towards his blade and the other held out. Why he was holding out his hand, Techno had no clue. The hoglin walked up to Techno and rather than attacking with its rather large tusks or giant hooves, grabbed Techno’s cape by the back, as if trying to grab him by his nape.

Techno froze, shocked by what this giant beast was doing. He mindlessly tugged his braid of pink hair away from the hoglin’s mouth, still not sure of what to do. The hoglin picked Techno up effortlessly and took him towards the center of the chapel. It placed him down right behind the altar and then seemed to disappear into steam. Techno was still running over what had just occurred when all of a sudden his head felt like it would split open. He leaned over onto the altar, holding his head. The still fresh injury from his execution burned and it felt like all of his scars opened and started burning as well. He collapsed onto the altar from the feeling of being unable to hold his own weight when that feeling spread to his left leg making his scar from his duel against Dream feel like his leg was being dipped in lava. He opened his eyes and saw only blinding white that almost immediately went back to pitch black as he collapsed onto the altar.

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Phil checked his coords again. He had seen Techno’s message while mining for Netherite, so he was further away from the coordinates Techno had sent him than Techno’s portal probably was. He wasn’t used to walking long distances, normally he would just fly, but one of the rules of the world said he couldn’t, so he didn’t. Phil knew Techno would’ve gotten there in half the time he would from the same starting point, so he hoped that it wouldn’t take too long for him to get there. The netherrack near the nether hub was well worn, and Phil was cautious not to be seen by anyone inside. He didn’t want them to get curious in case it was something that Techno didn’t want to tell anyone else. The coords were far off, probably somewhere not many people had been to, even with all the exploration done. 

The Nether was eerily quiet. Even when he was mining, he didn’t encounter very many mobs. There even seemed to be a shortage of striders. He hadn’t seen any Piglins or Hoglins during the trip, but it reminded him of the way the realms used to be. The Zombie Piglins were everywhere, and he missed when he didn’t have to worry about getting attacked by a ground mob. Phil had shot down two ghasts during the trip, a low number that wasn’t all that odd. It had been about an hour since he received Techno’s message. Phil had needed to drop off the Netherite he had mined and his beds at his house before going to Techno, in fear of falling into a random lava pit on the way there.

He was halfway to where Techno had told him he was when he heard a sort of stomping. Phil froze and pulled out his sword. He glanced around before inching forward and turning a corner and coming face to face with a giant, light pink hoglin. Phil stumbled back and stared into its eyes. It had one white eye, something that all the members of the world had as well. The fact that it had off color eyes wasn’t what shocked him though, since it was so common. What shocked him was the sheer size of it. It was so big that if Phil kneeled he could easily fit underneath it and if Phil decided to start flying, if he even was allowed to, it could easily snag him out of the air in a second. 

Phil stumbled back as the hoglin approached and prepared to dodge out of the way of an attack he was certain would come. The hoglin instead crouched down and pushed the top of its head against Phil’s forehead. Phil stood there before reaching a hand to the top of the hoglin’s head. Most hoglins were about half the size of any member of the realm and they generally had short, bristly fur. This one was about three times his size and had soft fur, not unlike a cat or dog. The hoglin suddenly scooped Phil off of the ground and onto its back.

“Oh, um, thanks?”

The hoglin charged forward and Phil clinged on for his life. He knew that he should head back and try to find Techno and what he wanted to show him, but the hoglin was flying through the Nether. If Phil attempted to jump off, he would likely end with more than just a few bruises. The hoglin stopped in front of the portal near Techno’s cottage and eyed Phil expectedly. Phil slowly climbed off, still cautious in case the giant pig had a sudden change of heart. Walking through the portal, Phil was met with a cold breeze and snow. Phil trudged through the snow when he suddenly stopped, hearing sounds behind him. He turned around, met with the hoglin happily trotting towards him. Somehow it had gone through the portal and maneuvered down the small hill the portal was on. 

The hoglin snorted, stopping to Phil’s left. It seemed to be fine with the cold, if anything it liked it. Phil shrugged. “I guess I have a pet hoglin then, huh?” Birds circled around above them, silent, as they watched what was happening below. Phil turned back towards the cottages and walked back home, closely followed by a giant hoglin.

Chapter Text

Techno opened his eyes to find Steve laying on him. The polar had draped itself over Techno’s back, soaking up his warmth. Techno snorted. Normally he would call for Phil or just try to shove Steve off, but he was fine with this. The light snowfall felt nice on his fur and the weight on his back was comforting. The way his body moved was still something he had to work on, but he was fine just laying in the snow for now.

How did this even happen? Deffo lore stuff. Guess Technoblade is a hoglin now. Troll Phil! Pls don’t. You can crush Quackity now! Help Tommy, Dream’s bullying him. Techno sighed and got up. Steve slid off his back as Techno got up. Techno turned towards Phil’s house, wondering what he should do. So my options are to either head back to that temple, don’t tell Phil that this is happening and stay, or try to communicate with Phil to tell him it’s me. Techno hesitated. Communication would be too difficult and he couldn’t recall how to get back to the temple. The compass was still in his inventory, but Techno couldn’t access it. Likewise, chat also wasn’t an option. Drawing in the snow wouldn’t work either since snow was almost always falling.

Techno’s ears twitched as he heard noises coming from Phil’s house. He turned his head back to the door of Phil’s house and watched. Phil walked out, yawning, and climbed down the stairs between the two cottages and turned to Techno. Phil’s eyes went wide and he stumbled backwards, falling to the ground. The wings on his back were fluffed up and shaking. 

“I thought that was just a dream…” Phil muttered, staring at Techno. Techno stood up and walked over to Phil, grabbing him by the cloak and lifting him to his feet. Phil brushed off the snow on his cloak and pet Techno’s head. “Well, if Techno’s not here he might’ve just gone somewhere else. Might be mining or something.” Techno snorted at Phil’s wonders. He didn’t want Phil to think that he had died or had gone missing, but there wasn’t much he could do like this. 

Phil walked toward the basement and opened the doors. Phil glanced back at Techno and walked into the basement. He didn’t go to the ladder, so Techno presumed that Phil was grabbing something from the storage. Phil came back out and closed the door to the basement.

“I’m heading to L’Manburg to get the stuff I left at my house back there. I’ll be back in about an hour.” Phil turned around and started toward the Nether portal. Techno began to follow, figuring he might be able to help with transportation. “Oh, no no no no, you can’t come. You probably can’t even fit on the bridge to the other Nether portal.” Techno snorted in response. He could figure it out when it came to it. Phil began pushing Techno back towards the house. Exhaling in a soft laugh, Techno lifted Phil off the ground. Phil was left dangling from Techno’s tusks as Techno trotted towards the Nether portal. “You really are persistent aren’t you.”

The journey to the Nether hub was normal, the one Magma Cube that would jump off the bridge, the very thin bridge which was a major obstacle for Techno. Phil got a laugh out of Techno’s attempts at safely crossing the bridge before he gave up and just jumped across. When they went through the Nether portal, things were different. Almost immediately they ran into Ranboo, Quackity, Tubbo, and Fundy. They had quickly drawn their axes and Phil jumped in front of Techno. “Wait, wait, he’s nice!”

“Oh, a giant hoglin is nice ?” Tubbo retorted.

“Yes, he’s fine.”

Ranboo examined Techno. “I didn’t realize there were giant hoglins. Shows what I know.”  Ranboo shrugged. “He’s pretty fluffy though.”

“You’re supposed to be under house arrest right now, Phil. You also committed treason by leaving with Techno. Why do you think you can just come back here?” Quackity stepped forward, glaring at Phil.

“Y’know, this isn’t exactly L’Manburg, so I think this is fine. Oh, by the way, do you know how Tommy’s doing. I’m concerned for him. Thought I might visit him sometime.” Phil rambled, walking around the group.

“Oh, you aren’t gonna just walk away now, are you? We were just gonna go visit Techno again today. Maybe just kill him on the spot, who knows!” Fundy  piped in, sounding somewhat sad behind his energetic tone. 

“Oh, I was just grabbing my stuff. It’s really just an in and out sort of thing. Brought the hoglin along to make it only one trip. You know how it is, mate. Moving is a hassle.” Phil inched closer to Techno, heading in the opposite direction of L’Manburg. 

“You know what we do to traitors here Phil. You made your choice.” Quackity began charging at Phil. Techno jerked forward, voices screaming to protect Phil and get revenge on the four L’Manburgians there. Techno kicked Quackity into Fundy, sending them both tumbling down the stairs. Phil ran to the left into the trees and Techno stood his ground, helping Phil get more distance between him and the Butcher Army. Techno charged Tubbo and Ranboo, Ranboo slipping down the stairs while trying to get out of the way. Tubbo barely managed to get out of the way of his heart being penetrated by Techno’s tusks. Tubbo quickly countered by bringing his axe down on Techno’s flank. Techno whirled around to Tubbo and stomped down where Tubbo had stood. Tubbo’s axe had gotten lodged in Techno’s flank, making it so whenever Techno lifted his hind left leg it would burn. 

Techno brought his hooves down as the other people there ran , shattering Quackity’s leg and crushing Fundy’s arm. As long as he was able to stall them, Techno knew that Phil could do what he wanted to do without much resistance. Fundy helped Quackity up and Quackity leaned on Fundy. They hobbled down the stairs and into the Community House. Ranboo and Tubbo were the only ones left fighting. Ranboo had only made it to the top of the stairs when Techno rammed into Tubbo, sending him hurtling into Ranboo. Tubbo’s hooves scraped against the ground. 

“I have everything! Go back into the portal!” Phil came gliding over from the residential area of L’Manburg. He landed and ran through the portal, Techno quickly following.

NO! Kill them! They’re dangerous! Protect Phil! They’re gonna follow! Don’t kill Tubbo. Quackity deserves it. Poor Fundy:(. AYYYYYYYY Chase Scene! The voices screamed at Techno, but he ignored them. He scooped up Phil and focused on getting home safely. The L’Manburgians likely didn’t know where his Nether Portal was, so he wanted to lose them, something that would take awhile. He growled, cursing the fact that he was so big. It’s hard to lose sight of a giant hoglin, after all. They likely had pearls, so losing them by going over a lava lake wouldn’t work. He looked around. Phil nudged him forward, toward the Logsted portal. 

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Phil clung to the hoglin as it barrelled toward the Logsted portal. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop and say hi to Tommy, but he knew his way home from Logsted. He risked a glance back to see Fundy, Tubbo, and Ranboo chasing them. Ranboo seemed a bit hesitant, lagging behind the other two and Fundy seemed full of rage. The hoglin was breathing heavily as it ran. Phil looked forward and lowered himself down, hiding in the fur on the hoglin’s back. The hoglin dove through the portal and-

“Where are we?” The portal had spit them out on a coast. Phil checked his coords. They were a little over two hundred blocks away from where Logsted was. The hoglin lurched forward, jumping on top of the trees around them, heading towards their home. As they approached the snow biome, the forest ended, becoming a clearing. A snowstorm was raging, not an uncommon occurrence, even with it being a somewhat good day earlier. A good thing about the snowstorm was that Phil knew where they were going and the Butcher Army didn’t know the terrain well. He also didn’t have to worry about covering their tracks. The hoglin also seemed to know where it was going, despite slowing to be quieter. I need to give it a name.

“I feel like Techno would like you, mate. Maybe I should name you after a bit of mythology.” Phil muttered, unsure of if he was actually talking to the swine or just to himself. The hoglin snorted at what he said and Phil was unsure how to take it. “I’ll just call you Erym. Techno would like it.”

They eventually reached the cottages. Phil sighed, exhausted from stress and clambered off Erym’s back. As he climbed down, he saw his left shoe covered in red. He quickly went the Erym’s left, finding a broken axe blade dug into a giant cut on its left flank. Rushing inside his house, Phil grabbed bandages, water, soap, and disinfectant for the wound. While cleaning the wound was simple, wrapping it could be called the opposite. Erym’s size presented an issue itself, but so did all the fur. Phil had to shave off the fur around the wound and then use honey to keep the bandage in place.

“Okay, I’m gonna go build you some shelter.” Phil went into Techno’s basement and grabbed some planks, torches, and fence posts. Next to the stairwell, he built the shelter about 10 by 10 by 5. When he went back to the front, Erym was gone, but the tracks it had left in the snow seemed to go toward an igloo Techno and Ranboo had found. Phil sighed as he went back into Techno’s basement, grabbing a lead. I wonder where Techno is. I hope he’s alright. I suppose Techno does tend to leave the house for a few days, but he normally warns me beforehand. Does it have something to do with the thing he wanted to show me? I’ll have to tell him that I’m moving everything to the stronghold. He hasn’t answered any of my messages, though, will he even see it?

Phil tracked down Erym by a cliff hiding one of the secret passages Techno had made. Phil threw the lead around Erym’s neck. “Alright, come on. We’re heading back.” Phil tugged on the lead, expecting Erym to follow, only to be dragged by the giant swine. Erym turned back to Phil, its eyes gleaming in laughter. “Oh great, a giant pig is laughing at me. The world is ending. Pigs are taking over.” Phil flopped on the ground, letting himself be dragged by the hoglin.

Phil watched crows circle above them, watching the strange scene. Phil laughed, imagining what they must be seeing. A giant, light pink boar dragging a man with black wings through the snow. Phil realized that Erym had stopped next to the cottage and was waiting for Phil to get up. Standing up, Phil realized that Erym hadn’t eaten anything for the day. Just as quickly, Phil questioned what hoglins ate. He settled on potatoes and carrots, like normal pigs. Techno won’t mind me borrowing some of his food. He grabbed some golden carrots and potatoes,and cooked them into a stew with a regen pot and rabbit, in case hoglins ate meat. He put it in a bucket and gave it to Erym, who was now cozily relaxing in his home. Phil went back into his house and ate some premade steak with a gapple, too tired to cook another meal. 

Maybe I should go grab Tommy tomorrow.  Dream probably isn’t treating him well, judging by the fact the portal was broken and the state he was in last time I saw him. Phil looked up as a crow landed onto his shoulder. Petting it, he kept thinking. Tommy was probably lonely, Techno was missing, and Wilbur was a ghost. Speaking of Ghostbur, I should go get him as well. I don’t want him to get dragged into L’Manburg’s problems.

“Dream’s bullying Tommy!” The crow on Phil’s shoulder squawked out, almost in a whining tone. “Dream blew up Logsted!” Phil’s eyes shot to the crow, which was now flying out the window. 

“Guess I’m grabbing Tommy tomorrow, huh.” Phil sighed, recalling the last time he had gotten on Dream’s bad side. It was when Phil first joined, before he was even told what the rules were. Phil had fallen off a bridge in the Nether, and had flown back up to it when he was only a block beneath it. He had been checking out the terrain to try and get mind off Wilbur. No one saw it, but the next day he saw snips of his flight feathers on the floor next to his bed, along with a note. Dream had cut his feathers and explained the rule against flight. Dream also stated in that note that he would come by to cut them until Phil could gain his trust again. 

Realizing what he was getting into, Phil perked up. Grabbing Tommy meant he was directly opposing Dream, meaning that the rule against flying also didn’t matter. Dream was religious, in a way, and worshipped Prime, DreamXD, and Drista. He thought only the gods should fly, which is why he had banned flight. Technically, that was just what he thought, not what the gods thought. And supposedly, Drista and Tommy were quite close. Phil realized that he could easily just fly once his feathers grew back, since he wouldn’t be letting Dream cut them anymore. Phil laid down on his bed, the promise of flight being returned to his mind.

Chapter Text

“Dream, really, I am sorry… I just…”

“No, Tommy, you just- you were hiding things from me? Your best friend?”Dream’s smiling mask stared at Tommy. Tommy felt as though Dream was staring into his soul, yelling at him, screaming at him.

“I wanted a way to… y’know… defend myself if someone came to try and hurt me.” Tommy winced from the blatant lie. In reality he just didn’t want Dream to blow all of his stuff up. He wanted to keep his stuff.

“Tommy, look, if someone tries to kill you, I’ll be here to defend you!” Dream stressed this, less reassuring and more of a warning. “Just don’t do this again.”

Tommy stepped back, looking at the ground. Everything he valued was blown up and Dream had been really rude earlier. He was getting scary. He stepped back again, bumping into something.

“Hey mate, you alright?” Tommy whipped around, coming face to face with Phil.

“Oh, Phil, you here to say hi to Tommy? Unfortunately he really isn’t allowed visitors right now, so you need to leave. You should’ve checked with me if it was fine.” Dream had put a friendly tone in his voice.

“Dream, is it alright if I take Tommy with me to a cottage I have? He won’t be in L’Manburg and you can stop worrying about him.” Phil had wrapped a protective arm around Tommy’s shoulders. Tommy was glad that Phil had come to get him, but it did make him a bit uneasy. Leave Dream and join the man that had killed Wilbur? Nonetheless, Tommy liked the idea.

“No. Tommy is in my care and that will remain the case. If you try to take him, I’ll have to kill you.” Dream took out an axe and stepped closer.

“I was hoping you’d be more lenient, but I guess that was wishful thinking, huh.” Phil whistled. “Guess I’ll just take him home by force.”

“Try it.”

“I am.” A blur of pink came out of the tree line, colliding with Dream. Dream went flying, but Tommy didn’t watch to see if he landed safely. Instead, he opted to stare at the ginormous Hoglin standing in front of him. “Tommy, this is Erym. Please get on his back.”

“Are you crazy?!” Tommy dug his heels into the ground as Phil pushed him towards the Hoglin.

“On the Hoglin, Tommy. He’ll get you home safely.”

“No!” The Hoglin puffed, stepping towards them. This is how I die. The Hoglin scooped the two of them onto its snout before trotting back to the tree line. 

After a while, they reached a snow biome. Tommy was clinging to the fluff on the Hoglin’s back like it was a lifeline at this point. 

“ How are you holding up, mate?” Phil had been gliding next to them for a few minutes by this point. “I know Erym is a bit much to handle at first, but you’ll get used to ‘im.”

“How did you find a giant Hoglin and tame it ?” Tommy’s grip tightened even more.

“I did neither. It found me. It liked me. It followed me. That’s it.” Phil shrugged. Tommy continued to look at Phil, dumbfounded. How is he acting so… chill about this? 

“So where did it find you?”

“The Nether.”

“Why does it like you?”

“I dunno.”

“Does it have a name?”

“Named it Erym after something Techno once told me about.” Tommy snickered, it was probably something Greek. “Oh, look. We’re here!” Tommy looked up, seeing two cottages- well maybe just one that had a bridge connecting two parts of it.

Tommy thought for a moment. The cold was loved by the Blade, but would he really live in a cottage of all places? “ Dad, where’s Techno?” The words slipped out as he thought them, not even realizing he’d called Phil dad of all things.

“Tommy, you’re gonna give me a heart attack if you call me dad. But for Techno’s whereabouts, I don’t know. I’m worried, but he’s probably just out on an expedition or something.” Phil landed in the snow in front of the house, guiding Tommy down the Hoglin- Erym’s- back. He walked in the house and sat next to the fireplace, nodding off to sleep just before Ghostbur came floating into the house, blue sheep in tow.

Chapter Text

Phil looked out over the- let’s just say unusual - assortment of beings outside his house. Tommy had woken up just a few minutes ago and had insisted on going outside. The animals had also needed to get some exercise. Now there was a ghost, a child, a bunch of dogs, a horse, three foxes, a blue sheep, and a giant, fluffy boar on his front lawn.

Today was one of the rare days where snow wasn’t coming down. That also meant that there was likely to be a snowstorm later. Phil sighed. He leaned back so he looked at the ceiling and thought. We need to move everything to the stronghold. We’re in danger for as long as we stay at the cottage.But I also need to head back to L’Manburg to grab a few things.

Phil got up and walked out to the jumble of animals. He had two empty sacks slung across his shoulders. Tommy was busy being crushed under a mountain of dogs and Ghostbur was cuddling with his sheep- Friend he had called him. The rest of the animals were either on or circled around Erym.

As Phil approached Erym, it got up and closed the distance between the two. Phil threw the sacks over Erym’s flanks.

“I’m gonna need to go back to L’Manburg again, but this time, let’s not go through the Nether. I understand that the alternative is the ocean, but we can’t run into people like that again.” Phil’s explanation was replied to with an understanding snort from the Hoglin. Phil was still surprised by Erym’s intelligence, it was almost as smart as a person.

The only issue with the ocean was going to be, well, the ocean. There wasn’t really much of a plan to get to L’Manburg, it was really just to swim.

Phil climbed onto Erym’s back and they started toward the ocean. Phil was uneasy about leaving Tommy and Ghostbur alone at the cottage, but this was going to be a short trip anyway, a couple hours tops.

“Why do you need to go to L’Manburg? What happened the last time you went?” Tommy’s head had emerged from the mountain of white fluff on him. The sight was hilarious, the blonde of Tommy’s hair popping out among a mess of white fur- it made Phil think of when Wilbur had piled snow around Tommy when they were kids.

Erym paused, turning its head back to the cottage where the boys still were. “I’ll tell you when I get back. I’ll be gone for about two hours. I suggest you go back inside, there’s a cow in the basement if you want to see it.” Phil turned back to Tommy to see that his pupils had blown wide, most likely at the mention of a cow. He snickered and glanced at Ghostbur, who was looking at them through the blue wool of his sheep. “Have fun boys, get along, don’t do anything too reckless.”

Erym began trotting through the snow, the cottages fading from view, a trail of giant hoof prints following them. The ocean came into view quickly, probably due to Erym’s giant strides. Phil breathed in and looked at Erym to see his reaction to the water as they approached the shore. It didn’t seem to be scared or cautious around the water so Phil figured it would be fine. Erym was dipping his hooves into the water-probably to get used to the chill of it- and wadding into the water.

 Erym wasn’t worried and so neither was Phil.

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Technoblade was very worried.

He didn’t know if he could swim in this form. His fur had already started soaking up the freezing water, chilling him to the core. Maybe he could swim like his horses did? Techno paused for a moment.

No. His horses were terrible examples of how to swim. One of them was named Brick for a reason.

Techno stepped further into the water, adjusting to the feeling of the waters washing against his hooves and skin. He would’ve preferred to use a boat, but the boat would just sink from his weight anyway. 

Taking a deep breath, Techno plunged himself into the cold Arctic Ocean. His body’s heat kept him somewhat warm, though he did still shiver a bit. He did his best to stay afloat and move forward. Apparently something in him was helping with that, his body keeping itself above the water.

The trip to L’Manburg was decent, once the cold water got warmer it was easier to bear. Techno was not looking forward to the return trip, however.

Phil had filled the silence with ramblings about random things. Relationships, builds, memories, et cetera. Though through these ramblings Techno did learn that, despite all the time they had together, Phil had neglected to tell him that he had a wife.

They stopped at the shore of a river that lead into L’Manburg. The bags on his flanks went untouched as Phil wandered into L’Manburg alone to gather any unimportant items he still wanted. 

Techno just spent his time laying in the grass while he waited for Phil. It was boring, not being able to do much of anything.

“What the…”

Techno glanced over to where the voice had come from to see a ram hybrid on his right. She looked confused, but most people would be if they saw a giant fluffy boar lying in the grass.

It had been about half an hour since Phil left- apparently time moves sluggishly when you’re bored- and Techno didn’t really know the lady. Her hair split white and brown and she wore a Captain’s attire.

She cautiously approached Techno- also pretty normal- and continued looking him up and down. Techno snorted, pretty entertained by the woman’s behavior. She jumped back at the noise, likely not expecting that he would make sound.

“Hello…!” She said it with excitement in her voice, but also caution, keeping her voice calm and soothing at the same time. “My name’s Puffy, nice to meet you.”

She had started petting him, the motion actually somewhat relaxing. The woman- Puffy- carded her fingers through the wet, matted fur on his side. The air she gave off reminded him of a mother he’d met a while ago- too long to remember her name. She’d acted like a mother for an entire village despite only having two children. He’d spared that village, not just because his lust for blood hadn’t been extreme that day, but also because of just how calm it was there, how nice everyone was.

Puffy’d started talking again, her voice still low. She wasn’t rambling like Phil, but just commenting on small things. The voices were quiet too now, Techno realized. They were still talking, but their yelling was a whisper now. He could only make out one thing that they seemed to keep saying; Papa Puffy. Apparently this woman was a parent figure after all.

“Hello mate.” Phil’s voice brought Techno out of his thoughts. It was now that he also realized that Puffy was now laying her back against Techno. “I see you’ve met Erym.”

That name that Phil had given what he thought was a wild Hoglin was interesting. Technoblade wasn’t… upset about the name per say. Not really. It was a nice gesture. Techno just didn’t really think that Phil had needed to name him anything at all. 

“Oh, hi Phil!” Puffy got up and walked over to Phil. Techno took this as an opportunity to get up and stretch out, his limbs beginning to fall asleep after being left underneath him for an hour.

Phil was carrying a lot of wood. Techno didn’t know what for, but apparently a lot of it was needed. Phil lifted the wood into the sacks on Techno’s flanks. 

“…a little project at home. Thinking about building another connecting house.” Well that was a lie, if not just completely unnecessary.

“Well, good luck.” Puffy and Phil waved to each other as Phil scrambled onto Techno’s back with a dozen flaps of his wings. Puffy ran off in the opposite direction from when she came. 

A minute after she left, Techno turned and wadded into the water, still not looking forward to the return trip. 

Chapter Text

When Technoblade climbed onto the shore of the Arctic, he was miserable. The cold water had soaked into his very bones and the snow was not helping. Hoglins were, obviously, built for the Nether and not the chill of the North.

At least he didn’t need to stay above ground for very long, since Phil lead him towards the entrance to a stronghold they’d found not long ago. Technoblade had managed to get a small grip on changing his size, so rather than having to squeeze through the entrance, he shrunk himself a little and entered the stronghold behind Phil.

Phil was humming to himself as he looked around the small space. It was definitely cleaner than Technoblade remembered. There was a distinct lack of cobwebs and dust and , amazingly, torches weren’t just haphazardly placed around to ward off monsters.

It actually looked like someone lived there.

Technoblade laid down and resolved to rest. The voices had quieted down to a whisper, as if they were trying to hide something. He flicked an ear, glaring in no particular direction.

The particles! Unofficial Ranboo raid? Don’t snitch! Get the crows, they’ll keep the particles away!

The voices had a point. There was a very strange amount of enderman particles in the area despite the distinct lack of any endermen.

Technoblade watched as a cluster of the purple dots excitedly buzzed around, the particles bouncing off of each other. The buzzing was somewhat similar to voices.

It wasn’t the weirdest thing Technoblade had ever seen, so he just shut his eyes and drifted off.

_______________________________

Ranboo had a giant headache.

The particles were constantly talking about Technoblade and a stronghold and a bunch of other gibberish. Although, maybe they were just trying to help Ranboo. Everyone had heard about Technoblade going into a brief hibernation, but when several people said that there was no sign of him, a lot of people had started to worry.

Tubbo, Quackity, and Fundy had started freaking out because they thought that Techno was planning something and Niki had actually seemed really upset. Ranboo didn’t know why , but she was.

The particles had somehow managed to make Ranboo move toward the Nether portal- well, it was more like they were dragging him. Ranboo didn’t think the particles could change his will. They were too disorganized for that.

“Alright, alright, I’m going. Although I don’t know where I’m going, I’m going.” The particles didn’t stop dragging him even after he said that. He didn’t know why he thought they would, but he was disappointed by their lack of faith in him.

The sudden wave of heat that came from going to the Nether wasn’t pleasant. Neither was the sudden burst of cold air that came from going through the portal that the particles wanted to go to. Let him tell you, Ranboo did not appreciate the sudden dip in temperature.

Ranboo eventually recognized the tundra he was in as the same one that Techno lived in- also not a pleasant surprise- and that the particles were taking him along the shore of an ocean. Well didn’t the particles just feel like jerks today.

The snow soaked into his shoes and pants, burning his skin. Ranboo hadn’t liked the tundra when he was wearing armor, so being almost completely exposed to everything in an area where everything would hurt him wasn’t pleasant at all.

Today in general wasn’t a very pleasant experience.

And then he stepped on the edge of stairs in the middle of nowhere and fell.

Why were there stairs there? At least they led to shelter and he landed on something furry. And said furry thing was moving.

Ranboo jumped back with a scream and saw that he had landed on that giant hoglin that’d broken Quackity’s leg. If you asked Ranboo, he’d say that shattered leg was deserved, but of course no one agreed, it’s not like anyone did with anything else.

The hoglin opened an eye and looked at Ranboo- a lanky teen that had no balance, weapons, or armor- and huffed. It wasn’t trying to kill Ranboo, what a miracle! 

Ranboo got up from where he’d fallen to the ground, and Ranboo, being the clumsy person he was, face planted into the Hoglin’s fur again . He wasn’t complaining, the fur was actually quite soft, but it was also attached to something that could crush him in an instant. So on one side, Ranboo could really use a nap and the fur worked as both a pillow and a blanket, but on the other, he didn’t exactly feel like dying quite yet.

“Hey mate.” Ranboo could hear Phil behind him, but he was too tired to care at this point. The fur was gonna make him fall asleep whether liked it or not. He didn’t realize just how little sleep he was running on. “Wh-What are you doing?”

Ranboo blinked and slurred out “Sleepin’” as he nestled his head further into the surprisingly soft fur. Wasn’t hoglin fur coarse? Actually, did normal hoglins even have fur?

Phil chuckled from behind him and footsteps echoed as Phil walked closer. But Ranboo really didn’t care, even as Phil readjusted him onto the Hoglin’s back . After all, it was far more comfortable up there than on the floor.

Actually, why did Phil trust Ranboo this much? Surely he should be thinking that Ranboo might be trying to kill him and Techno, right?

Ranboo would’ve started freaking out if the fur hadn’t lured him to sleep.

He then woke up a nice three hours later to find that Tommy and Ghostbur had joined him in cuddling on the top of the Hoglin. And, sure, Ranboo should’ve been surprised at the fact that A: Tommy, who had, according to Dream, died in an explosion during exile was there and B: Ghostbur was looking surprisingly solid and blue-free, he was still kind of sleepy.

He really didn’t feel like thinking things through.

________________

Phil felt amazing . He’d managed to threaten Dream into reviving Wilbur with the reasoning of “it’s either the Hoglin or Wilbur.” Upon reviving Wilbur, Dream had started rambling about “his sudden appearance will cause so much chaos” and “if you sent Tommy back to L’Manburg he’d be much safer.”

Phil was done with Dream’s bullshit rambling after about two hours, so he just stabbed him in the stomach and left him to bleed out.

Now, where does his son’s revival come into his little plan? Well, obviously he didn’t really want his son to be dead, so there was that, but Wilbur was far more capable of protecting Tommy than Ghostbur was. Ghostbur was sweet, sure, but not very formidable.

Dream certainly had a point with his ramblings, though. L’Manburg was absolutely in chaos with his son at the very middle of it.

“Hey mate.” Phil waved at Wil as he went over.

“Philza! L’Manburg looks like it’s doing well. They didn’t even fill in my little crater, my final legacy is still here!” Wilbur seemed more similar to a tourist than a past resident of the country, but Phil was glad he was so happy.

“You want to go say hi to Tommy? I’m sure he’ll be excited to see you.” Phil smiled at Wilbur. He had a white streak in his hair, right at the front. “You look good.”

Wilbur grinned. “Thank you. Y’know, maintaining these good looks is quite difficult when you’re dead, but I’m glad that I at least didn’t come back as a zombie or skeleton. I’ve been told my hair looks quite good as wel-”

“You’re graying.”

“What?!”

They came back to the cottages to find that Tommy was curled up under a literal dogpile. Wilbur squealed- since when did he squeal like that?- and scooped Tommy up, dogs and all. After that they returned to the stronghold to find Erym and Ranboo right where he left them.

Chapter Text

Upon completing the renovations to the stronghold, Phil had taken Erym and left the tundra. Wilbur was instructed to take care of Tommy and vice versa. Ranboo was the only one who knew and had agreed to keep quiet.

Wil and Tommy lived quietly in hiding until they felt it was safe to return to L’Manburg, where they orchestrated and completed a plan to deal with Dream. They managed to have the rest of the L’Manburgians forgive Technoblade by telling them his side of the story. Phil had requested that they help him find Techno, and so they agreed that if they saw a sign of Techno they’d message Phil.

Dream, due to a complete lack of contact, went insane within his prison cell. In a crazed state, he’d leapt into the lava and lost his life.

Snowchester and Las Nevadas were founded and formed an alliance after Fundy was elected president of L’Manburg. The three countries formed a trade system and agreed that, should a new threat arise, they would band together and protect each other.

Essempee made amends with L’Manburg and they went their separate ways. Eret regained their throne and promised that they wouldn’t cause another war unless provoked.

Meanwhile, Phil was traveling to the far reaches of the server looking for his missing friend. Erym was a constant companion of his, helping him out of danger and acting as his steed. They discovered areas completely untouched by civilization; lush canyons, gaping ravines, vast forests, and lakes crystal clear. 

The further from civilization they got, the stronger the mobs were. Charge creepers were more common than ordinary ones, skeletons had the skills of a trained marksman, and zombies that could outrun a human were a constant threat. The spiders were far bigger, especially deep within the cave systems.

Phil had insisted that he wouldn’t stop looking until he found Techno. He wouldn’t abandon his friend. He only hoped that he wouldn’t find a dead body at the end of this road.

Two years in, he abandoned the Overworld and searched the Nether. He found ancient temples and statues. He came across a statue of Erym, or at least another, very similar, giant Hoglin. 

Three years in, they got ambushed by pillagers when they briefly returned to the Overworld. This normally wouldn’t be an issue near the countries, but they were in uncharted territory. The pillagers were far more intelligent and stronger than those Phil had fought before.

Erym protected Phil, but got shot in the neck and eye near the end of the battle. They struggled to stay up, since they’d also been shot in the legs and flank plenty of times before that. Phil managed to slay the final pillager before Erym collapsed. 

If there was one thing Phil understood better than anything else, it was the importance of life. Just like mobs, Techno and Phil only had one life. It was one reason why they valued their pets so much, they sympathized with only getting one chance.

Of course, it was also because animals were adorable and soft as hell, but that wasn’t an important detail.

So when Erym collapsed, blood leaking from their wounds, Phil acted the way anyone would; freaked out and ran over, trying to save them. He poured healing and regen potions into Erym’s wounds, but they only evaporated into steam upon making contact, and then…

Erym’s entire body burst into a cloud of steam, only to clear and reveal a familiar, hunched over, pink-haired man. 

Techno turned his head toward Phil and smiled, only to collapse a few seconds after. Phil healed his wounds and made a new portal. He carried Techno through the Nether atop the roof went through the portal connected to the stronghold by their base.

The Syndicate was founded soon after as a way to take down any of the countries should they become corrupt due to the alliances.

The only remnants of the Hoglin features left with Techno were a fluffy mane and how, if he were angered to an extreme, he would become a giant boar once again until he calmed down.

Most of the server questioned where the boar disappeared to, but the only ones who knew were the members of the Syndicate.