Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nicky watches from his place at the table as Andrew stumbles out of the dorm room at six thirty in the morning. Andrew looks like he’s half dead -- eyes bleary, hair rumpled, dragging his feet like some sort of tiny blonde zombie. Nicky would laugh if he wasn’t sure he didn’t look the exact same (and if he didn’t know that would be a surefire way to get stabbed). In fact, the only people who were even remotely awake were Kevin and Neil, who were animately discussing some Exy play over on the couch.

Andrew took a moment to take stock of the room, still looking like he’d like nothing more than to crawl back into the bed, before decisively shuffling his way over to where Neil was now calling Kevin something probably obscene in French.

Nicky almost chokes on his coffee when Andrew -- his beloved yet definitely somewhat homicidal cousin -- proceeds to tip over onto the couch, diving directly into Neil’s lap. Neil, who, for the record, doesn’t seem to find anything unusual about this, and barely reacts save for the hand that comes down to stroke Andrew’s hair affectionately.

“Mrnngfghfn,” Andrew says, his voice muffled by Neil’s thighs.

“It’s too early for ice-cream,” Neil replies absently, “Have an apple first.”

“Hrnnrffsdhn,” Andrew mumbles.

“Maybe later.”

“Msndfsjdhh,”

“If you say so.”

“What,” says Nicky, faintly, “is happening .”

Is this a dream? Is he hallucinating? Even Kevin has stopped talking, eyes darting back and forth as he watches the bizarre exchange that somehow only involves one person speaking actual words.

“Hrnhfjsgh,” Andrew says, pointedly.

Neil sighs. “ Fine ,” he says, “But you’re dealing with Kevin.”

Over Kevin’s indignant squawk, Nicky decides it is entirely too early in the morning for this, and puts his head down on the table to sleep.

“Nicky?” comes Neil’s voice, sounding concerned. “Are you okay?”

Fucking Neil Josten .

Chapter Text

“Shit.” Neil says, darting out of the bedroom clad only in his boxers and thigh-high fox themed socks that Allison had gotten him as a gag gift. “Shit, shit -”

Andrew takes a moment to justifiably appreciate the view before speaking up from his position on their couch. “What have you done now, junkie?”

“It’s not what I’ve done ,” Neil says, distressed, “it’s what I haven’t done!”

When Andrew simply stares blankly at him, he makes a vigorous gesture that is not endearing at all, shut up.

“Nicky’s birthday present!” He says. “I forgot to buy it, and now I’ve forgotten what he said he wanted!”

“The FlipBusters™ Toaster,” Andrew says instantly, eyes already returning to his open book now that the crisis has been dealt with.

“Oh thank god,” Neil says, sagging with relief, before making his way over to the couch and pressing a kiss to Andrew’s hair. “This is why I married you.”

“For my eidetic memory?” Andrew arches an eyebrow, amusement dancing in his eyes.

Neil smiles down at him, eyes crinkling fondly. “Yeah,” he murmurs, fond, “obviously.”

Andrew holds his gaze for as long as he can stand, then returns to his book, ears flushing pink. He hears Neil puttering around, before the couch dips as Neil flings himself onto it, tapping at his phone.

“I’ve ordered it.” Neil says. 

“Congratulations,” Andrew says dryly.

Neil gives him a sly look out of the corner of his eye. “And what did you buy Nicky, Andrew?”

Andrew pauses, dread coming over him. “Shit.”

Neil laughs, and the sound is so light that Andrew feels his heart stutter in chest for a moment.

“Don’t worry,” Neil says, humour lacing his voice, “I’ll say the toaster is from both of us.”

“And that ,” Andrew says, “is why I married you .”

Chapter Text

The door bangs against the wall as Neil breezes through the dorm, coming to a halt in front of Andrew. Nicky, Kevin, and Matt, all gathered around a video game on the couch, look up at his entrance.

Andrew’s eyes narrow. Neil’s jacket looks suspiciously... bigger … than it did when he left to buy the groceries.

The reason for this becomes apparent when Neil reaches into his jacket and pulls out a Snickers bar, setting it in front of Andrew. And then he pulls out another. And another. Then he reaches in and takes out a handful of assorted chocolate bars, dumping them on the table. Kevin makes a wounded noise at the sight of all that sugar.

“Neil,” Andrew says, flatly. “What the fuck.”

Neil’s cheeks darken slightly, and he gives Andrew a sheepish look. “There was a sale.”

He then rustles in his pocket for anything left, and puts a single M&M packet next to the frankly ridiculous pile of chocolate. Andrew stares at the overflowing pile and valiantly ignores the warm swirly feeling in his chest.

Neil’s jacket is still bulging. He makes his way over to the couch, and stops in front of Kevin.

“Oh God,” Kevin mutters. He is ignored.

“Kevin,” Neil states, “I brought you hand sanitiser.”

“What.”

Twelve packs of hand sanitizer go clattering onto Kevin’s lap. 

Neil turns to Nicky. Nicky vibrates in anticipation.

“I bought you towels.”

“Towels?” 

“Yes.”

“Wh- why towels?” Nicky said, confused.

“Do you not want them?”

“ No !” Nicky yelps. “I mean yes! I mean I want them, please give me the towels.”

Nicky is then buried in a waterfall of...towels. 

“Wow,” says Nicky, “I never realised how much I loved towels.”

Finally, it’s Matt’s turn. 

Neil dumps a stuffed panda on his chest. It's bigger than his face.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever owned,” Matt says, his face muffled by the giant purple stuffed panda currently sitting on him. “I’m keeping it forever.”

Neil smiles, and goes to sit across from Andrew, who now has chocolate smeared over his lips. 

“Enjoying yourself?” He teases.

Andrew stares at him. “I hate you."

“Keep telling yourself that.”