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Rules of Precinct One

Rules 1-265

1. Officer Fangmeyer is not allowed the Case files, we’re still trying to find the last one he buried.
2. Officer Hopps is to take driving lessons from Officer Wilde, We cannot lose another Patrol Car.
3. Officer Wilde is not allowed Coffee after 10 am, we really don’t want a hyper active fox running around screeching.
4. Officer Wilde is not allowed to see his own tail, while it is amusing to watch him chase it for hours on end, we all remember when he caught it.
5. Officer Grizzoli is not allowed to collect the donuts for work, we don’t want another Drunk Cheetah Incident.
6. Officer McHorn is not allowed to partner up with Officers Wilde or Hopps, IT was hard enough getting Wilde out of the tree the last time.
7. Chief Bogo’s Office is not to be disorganised, we don’t want to have the Chief kidnap Wilde to help him clean his Office.
8. Officer Hopps is not allowed any Alcoholic drinks at all, a drunk Rabbit is worse than a Hyper Active Fox.
9. Officer Wilde is not allowed to be within four feet of a torch, while it is amusing to watch him chase the light, we must be professional.
10. Officer Wolford is not allowed to take the Nightshift, it is one thing to receive complaints about citizens but it’s another to receive complaint about the wolf in the Police station.
11. All Officers must agree that Officer Wilde is correct about everything, even when he is not.
12. Officer Wilde is not allowed to drink Alcohol, he’s worse than Officer Hopps.
13. Officer Wilde is no longer allowed near any of the Tranquiliser guns, how does someone shoot their own tail?
14. Lasers in Precinct One are strictly prohibited, last time all the officers chased after it.
15. All Officers must remember to log in when using a patrol car, we're still trying to find the one who shed fur in one of the patrol cars.
16. No one is allowed to interact with Officers Hopps and Wilde after work hours do to the large sum of money currently in the betting pool, any Officer found violating this will be removed from an earnings and a refund will not be provided.
17. Officer Wilde is not to take him and any of his friends for joyrides in the patrol cars, we’re still trying to get rid of the smell of Fox Vomit from when he brought that Pint sized one in.
18. Officer Wilde is to stop being a backseat driver, we have duct tape and we will use it.
19. Officer Wilde is not sell Pawpsicles in the Precinct, Clawhauser is on a diet.
20. Clawhauser is not to squeal like a little girl every time he see Wilde and Hopps together or when he’s playing with the Gazelle App, we can’t risk the Betting pool being found out.
21. Officer Wilde is no longer allowed to use the police radio without supervision, we all love Gazelle but those radios are meant for emergencies.
22. No starting howl sessions in the bullpen, we’re still trying to delete that recording.
23. Using police handcuffs as part of a trick, magic or otherwise, is forbidden. We don’t need another incident of Officers Wilde and Hopps walking around the City looking like they’re holding hands.
24. No telling new recruits that everybody wears the meter maid uniform on their first day. We don’t need a repeat of that incident.
25. Discussing the betting pool within view of Officer Hopps is forbidden - those ears aren't just for show. The same goes for Officer Wilde, there is a reason Foxes are related to Hounds and Wolves.
26. No office chair races in the hall, lobby or any room. We’re still trying to figure out how Officer Wilde’s tail became caught in the wheels.
27. All new rules (excluding ones about the betting pool) must be explained in great detail to Officer Wilde, for he is an expert at finding and using loopholes. The Chief is still trying to figure out how Wilde shot himself again.
28. Officer Wilde is forbidden from eating blueberries while doing paperwork - his reports are hard enough to read without the purple stains.
29. Office Clawhauser is forbidden from stashing doughnuts in the janitor's closet, even when he is not on a diet. There is a reason he’s on one.
30. Officer Wilde and any other officers for that matter, must never pretend that they're kidnapped to get out of working. We don’t need Officer Hopps breaking down again because Wilde forgot to set his alarm.
31. No one is allowed to call Officer Hopps cute, even Officer Wilde. I doesn’t matter that the two are having one of their flirt games.
32. Officers must NEVER order pizzas to Chief Bogo's office...especially Officer Wilde. The Chief is lactose intolerant.
33. Don't ever challenge Clawhauser to a paw wrestle, He will always win. As is proven by Officer Wilde’s broken paw.
34. Officer Hopps must be under strict supervision in interrogation at all times, we do not have the budget for new tables every week.
35. "Improvised ammunitions" are not permitted in the tranquilizer guns. How did Officer Wilde even fit a battery into a Tranquilizer gun?
36. Despite Officer Wilde's insistence, there is no "casual Friday". He can protest all he wants but it will never happen.
37. What happens in evidence, stays in evidence. Unless it’s Officers Wilde and Hopps.
38. Putting fake parking tickets on the fireman's cars wasn't funny the first time.
39. No muzzles are to be kept in sight of Officer Wilde, we really don’t need him hiding in Officer Hopps’s desk again.
40. Whoever put the muzzle in Officer Wilde’s cubicle, your prank was not funny, Officer Wilde has been referred for Trauma Consoling.
41. Renditions of Floatzen's 'Let It Go' are strictly prohibited. Any officers found breaking this rule will be subject to a stern reprimand from Chief Bogo. That song was annoying enough the first time.
42. The meaning of Life is not Carrots Officer Hopps, nor is it Blueberries Officer Wilde.
43. Officer Wilde is not allowed on any computer at all, no matter how sorry he says he is. We do not need him playing What Does the Fox say and complaining that it’s inaccurate.
44. No one is allowed to tell Hopps or Wilde they are getting new partners even as a joke, Francine and Fangmeyer are still recovering in the hospital from last time.
45. It is not allowed for any mammal to make fun of Clawhauser’s weight. May mercy have their souls when Officer Hopps finds them.
46. Do not, under any circumstances, make comments about rabbits multiplying within Officer Hopps hearing distance. It’s bad enough when Wilde makes them.
47. If you wish to live do not make comments on Finnick's height when he comes to the station. Officer Wilde is still recovering from the tail bite.
48. Even if letting Hopps drive during a police chase means landing in the hospital and another busted cruiser, do not argue if she wishes to drive. You will live to see the light of another day. Hopps is very territorial with her police cruiser. Strangely only Officer Wilde is able to get her to relinquish the wheel.
49. Do not attempt to get chocolate within 24 feet of Wilde, or any other Canine, Vulpine or Lupine Officer for that matter. It will not end well. Officer Wilde threw up over Clawhauser last time.
50. Alright, who gave Wilde the chocolate?
51. No laxatives allowed in the station. The last someone brought some Officer Hopps snuck some in Officer Wilde's drink for calling her nicknames.
52. Never give Officer Wilde a hot cup of tea as a prank, Officer Wolford still having seizure when giving him a cup of real coffee. And need I remind you Officer Wilde has got British heritage.
53. All Office must immediately report for Riot Control training, we must not repeat of 'that' incident again. Half the force was hospitalized except for Officers Wilde, Hopps, Wolford and McHorn.
54. Officer Wilde is not allowed to use Tasers, like the tranquilizers how does he stun his own tail? You are also not to ask him what he saw when he was tasered.
55. Kissing is strictly prohibited, you can thank Officers Hopps and Wilde later.
56. Clawhauser is not allowed to make OTP drawing of Wilde and Hopps. We'd like to survive another day please.
57. Officer Wilde (or anyone for this matter) is not allowed to wear ties during work hours. Wilde is still having trouble breathing since the last time Hopps got hold of him.
58. Taking naps in any of the holding cells is forbidden, as is locking the cell while an officer is napping in there.
59. A reminder to Officer Wilde that the area outside the locker rooms is NOT an extension of the Mystic Springs Oasis Club. Same goes for Officer Hopps.
60. Using Gazelle's new app during working hours is now forbidden. We’re still trying to get the image of a Wolf’s head on a Tigers body out of our heads.
61. Disregard the last memo - now banning Gazelle apps is forbidden.
62. Officer Wilde is forbidden from playing three-card Monte in the lobby, or anywhere else for that matter - our officers are already losing enough money on the betting pool. Nor is it suitable to play Strip Poker with the female Officers.
63. To whoever put the wool rug in Chief Bogo's office, which has been confirmed to have made from the fur of a skunk's butt, your commanding officer is not amused.
64. To Officer Hopps: if your partner is moving too slowly for your tastes, you will get him to hurry up by verbal encouragement, NOT by pulling him across the floor using his tie as a leash.
65. Officer Hopps is now forbidden from consuming any caffeinated drink stronger than Earl Grey tea - a hyperactive bunny has been confirmed to be worse than a hyperactive fox, albeit far more efficient.
66. Never compliment how smart Officer Wilde is. It took Officer Hopps a week to bring his ego down to a safe level. We’re still trying to get him to stop calling himself Alpaca Einstein.
67. Never install any games on to the system. Last time even handcuffs didn't stop Officer Hopps from breaking Officers Wilde’s leg after he beat her high score.
68. No Officer is allowed to bring in any pet spiders. No matter how harmless they may be, taking Officer Hopps off Officer Wilde was nearly impossible.
69. Officer Hopps and Wilde the changing room showers are gender separated for a reason.
70. Please do not take any photos of Officer Hopps with her permission. Seriously, this is the 4th time this week Nick has had his phone broken.
71. There will be no more whiskey filled blueberries... that was a disaster and we all know it.
72. Whoever let Wilde in on the betting pool is not only disqualified, but disbarred from any other bets. Kudos to Clawhauser for hitting him hard enough to make him forget.
73. No trying to set Hopps up with other mammals... it almost did more damage than the Night Howlers. Turns out Foxes are more jealous than Officer Tabby is with his catnip.
74. No trying to set Officer Wilde up with any other Mammals either, turns out Rabbit are equally jealous.
75. The cat litter incident will never be mentioned. It did not happen.
76. No fist bumping. This is the 20th time we've had to replace a chair Officer McHorn and Hopps. Remember Officer Wilde becomes a massive cry-baby when he can’t sit down, we don’t need another incident of him sulking in the cells again.
77. No wearing jerseys on duty, and Officer Wilde, we clearly don't care if it's a 'victory' lap for Leicester.
78. No marble hoarding. It was hell to clean up Officer Moore's cubicle after he lost his marbles. The same goes for the sticks Wilde.
79. No relationships whatsoever on the force unless it is Nick and Judy's. Since it appears they’ve married.
80. No donuts are to be delivered to Clawhauser. The bakeries are complaining of a sudden spike in donuts being delivered to the ZPD. Clawhauser is meant to be on a diet.
81. Officer Hopps is forbidden to use paw-cuffs all together especially when in a mood, Officer Wilde is still recovering from a broken wrist.
82. To All Officers: Getting a new game console is never an excuse to not turn up for work, I'm looking at you Wilde.
83. Never under any circumstances forget to bring donuts to the station each day, we do not need Clawhauser putting the whole city on lockdown again.
84. Judy Hopps is to not watch any horror movies the night before work. Seriously, do you know how hard it was to convince her that she was not about to be killed by a psycho killer.
85. FOR THE LOVE OF ASLAN, STOP GIVING OFFICER WILDE ANY KIND OF WEAPONS THAT HE CAN HURT HIS TAIL WITH!
86. It is never acceptable to free anyone from prison, even if he is your best friend and ex con partner. Yes, Wilde, we all know you let Finnick escape.
87. No more mentioning what a cross between a fox and a bunny might look like... while it's funny to see just how red Hopps can go, Officer Howler is still recovering.
88. On that note, no one is to mention that rule to Wilde. He has a big enough head already.
89. NO ONE mentions just how many kits a rabbit can have...unless you want to meet Officer Hopps' family. She has an army.
90. What happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room. Unless it's fireworks. They stay out of the precinct. We’re still searching for the one Officer Wilde hid in the Bullpen.
91. There will be no more 'bring your family to work days'. Officer Hopps has too many siblings for that... though it was amusing to see Wilde act like a bunny hanger.
92. Never give officer Wilde blueberry flavoured biscuit, we still can’t understand what he talks about after that tea prank incident
93. Donuts is now forbidden in Precinct 1, even though it was not for Officer Clawhauser.
94. Never post anything on Clawhauser’s furbook timeline, it would spread across Zootopia in no time. We have received complaints that Wilde and Hopps didn’t have a public wedding.
95. Do not mess with Wilde's coffee if you want to live, Officer Chops still has the bite marks on his desk.
96. To Officer Wilde: bringing Clawhauser in to talk about Gazelle is NOT an accepted part of the good cop bad cop routine. Duke Weaselton is still in trauma counselling.
97. To Officer Hopps: you were warned not to take on fellow officers in sparring matches. Officer McHorn is on the sick list with a concussion.
98. To Officer Hopps: as much as we enjoy your family visiting the station when they are in town, no more than 30 relatives at a time are allowed in the building.
99. To Officer Wilde: the police sketching equipment is for identifying suspects, NOT for drawing nude pictures of Officer Hopps.
100. To Officer Fangmeyer: it is conduct unbecoming an officer to howl at the full moon on the roof of the station.
101. To Officer Hopps: you are permitted to grow herbs on the windowsill next to your cubicle, but chives are not allowed. Officers Wilde and Sanders have been complaining about the stink of onions.
102. By order of the chief, all employees are henceforth forbidden from wearing pants during working hours.
103. Disregard the last memo, it is obviously a joke.
104. By order of the chief, all employees are forbidden to walk on the floor in any part of the station.
105. Obviously, disregard the last memo. WHO IS SENDING THESE OUT!?
106. A remainder to all officers (Wilde) during a riot situation, please remember to lock all police vehicles, the riot van was looted of Tasers and riot gear.
107. Officer Wilde is to be reminded that wearing riot gear doesn't mean you’re a knight or Robocop. Especially Robocop.
108. Remainder to all officers, never poke about Wilde's British heritage, apparently he owns his Great grandpa’s old Lee-Enfield and is an accurate shot with it.
109. All officers are to remember that Stab proof is standard issue, it's not Officer Hopps’s personal gear.
110. All officers are to stop telling the rookies that Wilde was a Police Officer from London. He may have worked for the Secret Service there but he wasn’t a Police Officer.
111. The Riot Response Vehicle (aka. The riot tank) doesn't have machine guns or autocannons, stop telling the media that.
112. Reminder to all Officers, as for today all officers must be prohibition on the use of the extendable baton. Tasers and Tranquilizers are now forbidden to be given to Office Wilde, how he shoots himself with a Tasers and Tranquilizers is still a mystery.
113. Remainder to all officers, the firearms are for the Authorized Firearms Officers, and yes Officer Wilde does qualified for some reason.
114. No candles allowed for Francine's next birthday cake. Her last blow has caused enough damages.
115. Officer Hopps shall never complain again if the assigned mission is estimated “too easy”.
116. Officer Wilde shall never complain again for whatever reason. Having hurt feelings do not warrant the need for a rest.
117. Do not try to separate officers Wilde and Hopps, they would complain ever more.
118. No more conspiracy theories. The so called “shock collars” are just a mere urban legend. And they’ve been illegal for the past ten years.
119. Officer Wilde is not allowed to scratch officer Hopps left ear. Even if it's funny to see her foot repeatedly thump the floor out of control when you do so, we definitely don't want her to be mad for a whole day.
120. No more eating contest. We don’t want to see the half of the troop go back to hospital.
121. Police batons aren't used to play base-ball. Where did you even get the ball from?
122. We don't play base-ball inside the precinct to begin with!
123. No Starfox games are allowed in the office. (Officer Wilde)
124. No setting the treadmill to max speed when Clawhauser is on it, Treadmills aren't cheap to replace and bent treadmills aren't funny.
125. No hijacking the radio system, No more 'Never gonna give you up by Rick Ratsly.
126. No Gazelle music is to be played in the office due to professionalism, Officer Hopps, this is your fault.
127. No boxes to be visible in the office, Clawhauser has already split open quite a few of them.
128. Please do not ask why Officer Wilde's cousin Nauto Uzumaki has 9 tails.
129. Whoever put Officer Wilde in a muzzle, Officer Hopps is hunting you down.
130. Officer Wilde has been referred for trauma counselling again, while it might be amusing to some to see him break down in tears, need I remind you, he’s one of our best Officers.
131. All male Officers are forbidden to even plan boy’s only parties. For their own safety and for Clawhauser’s innocence.
132. No one is to touch Officer Wilde's scale models, Officer McHorn is still traumatized for touching the HMS King George V.
133. No one is forcing Officer Wilde to sing, even though he has a great singing voice.
134. Drinking games are now banned. Officer Hopps has once again proven to be a lightweight.
135. Whoever keeps locking Wilde and Hopps in a broom closet together please stop.
136. Do NOT do the ice bucket challenge, especially on any of the cats. Officer Wilde had to replace his uniform. For that matter don't do it all. Wet pussy joke are not funny, so McHorn, stop making them.
137. NEVER underestimate Hopps. We are still trying to figure out how she picked Wilde up and threw him across the room.
138. Do not disturb Hopps when she is in integration we don't need Wilde in a muzzle again or Hopps brawling her eyes out when she realises what she’s done.
139. If any Officer wants to requisition weaponry for the armoury, it must be approved by the Chief. That means Wilde, a Boyes AT rifle and PIAT are NOT weaponry issued to police. Neither is an SA80.
140. Do not mention the phrase 'lover's spat' when talking about an argument between Officers Wilde and Hopps.
141. Officer Wilde, acting like Dogzilla while patrolling Little Rodentia is conduct unbecoming an Officer.
142. To whoever has been leaving boxes of cereal on Officer Sanders' desk, please stop. It is speciesist to assume that all tigers must like Frosted Flakes, even if Officer Sanders' first name is Tony. And please don’t ask him about his Brother Thomas.
143. To whoever is spreading the rumour that Officer Wilde is related to Oscar Wilde, please stop.
144. All Officers, making bets where the loser has to wear a costume is now prohibited. That video of Clawhauser working reception while dressed as Gazelle has officially gone viral.
145. Officer Beaverson, gnawing at the legs of wooden desks and chairs is strictly prohibited.
146. All Officers, adding personalized awards to the trophy case is now forbidden. I'm looking at you, "World's Handsomest Fox".
147. To all officers trying to beat Officer Hopps' record of 200 parking tickets in half a day, just give up. City Hall has been on the chief's back over all the complaints.
148. Try to beat Wilde’s record of 400 tickets in a day.
149. Officer Wilde, it is forbidden to use your badge to get to the front of the line at Snarlbucks. Same goes for the line at the Big Donut, McDuckald's and the amusement park.
150. To whoever has been putting up posters, handing out flyers and posting videos blasting Donald Trunk... keep up the good work.
151. For the love of Aslan, don't poke about Wilde's British heritage, he still have friends in the Secret Service.
152. Officer Wilde, you cannot just post any rule that you want. These are not jokes.
153. No one is to mention the fact that one of Hopps' little sisters is a white rabbit by the name of Alice.
154. Nor are they to speculate when- and if- the girl fell down her rabbit hole. Wilde still has a broken snout.
155. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY do not bring up the closet game.
156. DO NOT Try to re-enact the closet game.
157. NO one is to mention any betting pool that is going on. As gambling is against precinct policy, we cannot have that getting out in the first place.
158. Avoid making eye contact with the Hyena in the ZFBI. He’s called the 'mad hatter' for a reason.
159. Giving officer Hopps parking dust just to see how she rebels is not allowed. We're still up to our elbows in lapped work from when she found the illegal owner of those sea mines. Officers Fangmeyer, Wolford, and Wilde are still in trauma counselling.
160. Do not give Officer Wilde staplers. He will attempt to pin down his tail with them.
161. The only fire arm Wilde is allowed to carry is the Lee Enfield. It is the only weapon he has yet to shoot his tail with.
162. No fighting with Clawhauser, despite his demeanour he is still the academy's heavy weight wrestling champion for a reason and the myth that he one shot Hyena Hogan (Hulk Hogan) for trash talking gazelle has been verified.
163. Reminder to all officers: to maintain our professional image, please do not run, push, or exit through the windows when an ice cream truck passes by the station.
164. Bayonets are not acceptable police equipment.
165. Children cannot be arrested for "insolence."
166. While operating ZPD vehicles, officers are not allowed to attempt manoeuvres "you saw in a cartoon."
167. Officer Wilde, with all due respect to your heritage, your Bobby helmet is not permitted uniform wear.
168. In order to reduce vehicle maintenance costs, officers are no longer allowed to slide across the hoods on our cruisers.
169. All fines must be paid using standard currency, not immortal souls. I cannot bear to hear the moaning any longer.
170. Tasers are not to be used to give a jump to vehicles. Besides, it doesn't work anyway.
171. WHO GAVE WILDE THE TASER?!
172. Officer Delgato, whatever cologne it is you're wearing, please stop using it. The canine members of the precinct are refusing to enter the "used diaper depository."
173. Reminder to officers: again, in consideration of the ZPD's professional image, please do not activate lights and sirens to force an ice cream truck to pull over.
174. No taking NSFW pictures during work hours, or any hour, I’m watching you Wilde.
175. To officer Hopps and Wilde, the new police superbike are meant for patrol and police chase, not for romantic cruise.
176. Under no circumstance are any Officers to put down Officer Wilde within eye shot of Officer Hopps-Wilde or Mrs. Wilde, we don't need over half our forces hospitalised for another month. And Officer Wilde’s wife alone is scary, his mother is worse.
177. Officer Wilde is not allowed to brag about how his great-great-great grandfather was Robin Hood. We don't need him trying to scale walls, or go larping again.
178. Cute as she may be, officer Hopps' godchild is not allowed in the station. Her bodyguards scare the Officers.
179. The grandfather of Officer Hopps' godchild is not allowed in the station either, even as a part of a bad-cop routine.
180. The break room freezer is for food, not live mammals.
181. Nor is it for dead mammals.
182. Night howler pellets do not need to be kept refrigerated to prevent them from spoiling nor is the break room fridge allowed for such use even if they did.
183. Officer Ädler's prosthetic leg is not to be stolen, for your own sake. He can still fly perfect well without it, and officer Lupin is still in the hospital from being dive-bombed. Also, the screeching of an eagle was enough to shatter three Windows.
184. With the addition of live firearms to the armoury, all officers are to visit Janet for paw/hoof printing, excluding Officer Wilde. The cost of surgical reattaching a tail is well over 100G, and insurance won't cover that cost. The paw scanner is there for your own safety, Wilde.
185. Just because Fruit Bats are also called Flying Foxes that does not mean foxes can fly. Just ask Wilde about this.
186. Be careful around Judy, you never know when she'll use her carrot pen to record you. Wait, Officer Hopps, did you just record that?
187. No staring at the floor on "Clean Office Day". I don't care how shiny the floor is Wilde.
188. No using a clicker in the "Training Room". Using a clicker as a cue is not a part of Officer Training. Hopps tried this on Wilde and it was one weird day.
189. Monday is not Pyjama Day. Please Wilde, stop showing up with a pillow.
190. No one is to mention Officer Wilde’s ex-girlfriend. EVER.
191. Please stop comparing Wilde to Robin Hood, he is starting to take it too literally
192. The usage of the Database is not for blackmail. We’re still trying to remove one of Wilde’s teeth from the door frame.
193. That includes bets. We do not need Wilde or Hopps finding out about the new Betting Pool.
194. Please tell Wilde that you're dating his sister, the last guy who dated her and didn't tell him is still at the psych-ward in the hospital.
195. Like Coffee never mess with Wilde's Tea, he's still on a rampage.
196. Do not insinuate that Officer Hopps is having an Affair with Agent Savage, Wilde is still angry at them both for even joking about it.
197. Playing app games on your phone is now prohibited during working hours, even while on break, we're still making payments for the five tables and almost two dozen chairs Officer McHorn broke when someone showed him 'Slappy Bird'.
198. Just a reminder to all officers, since it seems it must be stated, NO ONE is allowed to drink any alcoholic drinks while on-duty (especially Officer Hopps and Officer Wilde), we must remain professional. If you must, wait till after your shift and you’re off the premise.
199. To Officer Wilde: Stop making fun of Officer Hopps's choice of lunch, she doesn't make fun of your choice of bringing blueberries, or something with blueberries, every day.
200. To Officer Hopps: Scratching the second half of the last rule, stop making fun of Officer Wilde's choice of meal for lunch, even if he is asking for it, I expect better professionalism from someone who outranks Wilde.
201. All ZPD SWAT Officers please stop challenging the ZFBI SWAT Team.
202. That also include the Bundespolizei GSG9.
203. And the French GIGN.
204. Stop asking Officer Wilde to issue a challenge to the British SAS or the Russian Spetsnaz.
205. All Officers are to be reminded that bike patrol in the park are for the smaller mammals.
206. Officer Wilde and Hopps are banned from bike patrol duty, we can't understand how Wilde's tail got caught in the rear wheel, while Hopps keep racing around.
207. The gym inside Precinct 1 is not a playground, the budget for Precinct 1 is mainly on the ZPD vehicle and fixing damaged gym floor.
208. Putting your phone inside cooked rice to dry your phone is just a myth, officer Wilde's phone had lost a few times in a month. It’s dried Rice not cooked.
209. Officer Wilde is now banned from using police superbike, we still can't understand how his tail always get caught in the rear wheel
210. Same goes to officer Hopps, we can't let her race with Flash in her superbike. There is a report where a superbike and a red sport car were spotted racing at near 130 mph on the highway.
211. All officers are not allowed to pimp their cruiser, officer Wilde was suspended for changing the siren with "Move B****" song.
212. A reminder to all Officers, Officer Wilde's EMP Grenades are not toys, we are still replacing the computers.
213. Officer Wilde with respect to your heritage, please stop wearing your SAS costume of Mute. It's creeping out half the force.
214. A reminder to all Officers, Officer Wilde is an Authorised Firearms Officer, not SWAT or CO-19, so stop calling him.
215. A reminder to all Officers, the riot shield is not a toy, you do not play anything that use swords or any pointy and sharp objects.
216. Officer Wilde, please stow that container of deadly gas you received from your friend from Britain.
217. There will be no kissing the windows... or floors, or any other reflective object- Wilde I don't care if you say that's the only way you can kiss a 'perfect 10'... and I'm also sure that Officer Hopps won't find that excuse amusing.
218. I don't know- or care- How the hell you stole Chief Bobo's boxer briefs, but dying them pink was a bad idea to begin with.
219. Gazelle visits the station, there will be no high- pitched-fangirl-squealing. The Canine, Vulpine and Lupine Officers- and Officer Hopps cannot take a noise that loud.
220. The ZCIA is assisting on a case (Wilde, this goes for you), you are not allowed to instigate a howl. And no, the Alpha wolf is NOT determined by the loudest howl.
221. sharp objects are to be confiscated from Detective Hopps... it took Detective Wilde two hours to get her down from somehow pinning herself to a tree.
222. No riding unicycles to work in a frog costume. Detective Wilde, no one permitted you to crash into Officer's Hopps table and say 'o shit waddup'.
223. No riding Detective Wilde's tail that means you Detective Hopps. We still have nightmares about flying bunnies in mashed potatoes.
224. No frosting is allowed on Clawhauser's donuts. He is on a diet, and it is not funny to have to clean off the sucrose on his uniform.
225. No 'pranks' allowed at all Detective Wilde. We still are trying to remove the dead grasshopper on Officer Moore's desk.
226. No puns on Officer Fangmeyer's name. Last time that happened we had to fix a vulpine-shaped hole in the wall which wasn't cheap.
227. No Gazelle posters are allowed at the receptionist's area Clawhauser.
228. No 'Chubby bunny' challenges. We still can't forgot that time Detective Hopps puked 20 marshmallows.
229. No bringing rubber bands to work. For the record Detective Wilde, Officer McHorn is still recovering from your projectiles.
230. No dares with Detectives Hopps or Wilde allowed. Please keep the betting pool legitimate or you will have to buy everyone a round of drinks (excluding Wilde and Hopps).
231. Detective Wilde is no longer allowed to use paper clips on his work. We are still trying to remove the paper clips from Detective Hopps’s tail.
232. Whoever replaced the toilet paper in the men’s room with sandpaper, it wasn't funny.
233. To whoever has been leaving copies of "Spider-Mammal" all over the station, the Chief wants to know when the next issue comes out.
234. Attention all officers except Wilde and Hopps: a new betting pool is on. Hopps has bet Wilde that he cannot go two weeks without cracking a joke or making a sarcastic remark. The current odds are three-to-one he'll slip up, five-to-one he'll throw in the towel, and twelve-to-one he'll actually make it. Clawhauser will handle the bets as usual, baiting Officer Wilde is not permitted.
235. For whoever destroyed the punching bag in the workout room by hitting it too hard, now is the time to step forward. Analysis has confirmed the perpetrator to be between fox and rabbit-sized.
236. Be advised, Detective Wilde: your copies of "Playbunny" should stay at home. And hide them well - your wife may not approve.
237. To Officer Wilde: I do not care how many times you have seen "Rangers of the Lost Park", a pleather whip is not standard-issue police equipment.
238. It is now expressly forbidden to yell "squirrel" during morning briefing, no matter how effective it is at bringing our canine officers to attention.
239. For the love of Aslan can all male Officers please stop flirting with Detective Wilde’s sister, she’s a quarter-master for a reason.
240. To whoever replaced Chief Bogo's morning slides with baby pictures of him, your commanding Officer is not amused.
241. To Francine and Officer Trunkby, from now when either of you has a cold you will stay home until it has completely passed. An elephant sneeze is not only loud and disruptive, but your fellow officers are tired of getting blown against the wall.
242. Detective Hopps: you didn't make the intramural baseball team not because you are a rabbit, but because the bat is longer than you are.
243. Segway hover board is not allowed in precinct 1, we don’t want another incident to happen. Chief Bogo once run over Detective Wilde's tail.
244. Wilde is permitted to carry the Glock 19, he pass the test without shooting his tail or any body parts.
245. No more stereotypical cop movies are to be shown in the ZPD, no matter how much they seem to validate what officers Wilde and Hopps did, the ends do NOT justify the means, just ask former Assistant Mayor Bellwether.
246. No one is to mention officer Hopps ex-boyfriend. No matter what the reason up to and including a "Zombie Apocalypse".
247. No one is allowed to LARP inside the station; yes Sgt Van Muster Fenrir, we're talking about you!
248. No one is to joke about, in ANY way, what a cross between a fox and a rabbit looks like, AGAIN! Lt. Alessaves is still in trauma counselling.
249. Switching Detective Hopps' carrots with chilli peppers is not allowed even though, technically, they do get her hot and bothered.
250. Putting food dye in Detective Wilde's blueberries, while a fun prank at first, is no longer allowed for PR reasons. The public does not need to know where his hands and mouth have been.
251. Foxes do not naturally mark their territory with blue dye.
252. No marking your territory in the natural way either. That goes for all officers.
253. All horror games are henceforth BANNED from the station, ESPECIALLY the Five Night's at Freddy's series. Detective Wilde has yet to take the fake hook off, and is repeatedly attempting to scare the other officers. Detective Hopps is also currently in Counselling, since the Foxy jump scare has apparently traumatized her. Also, Officer Grizzoli refuses to take off the top hat, and it seems to delay Hopps' recovery.
254. Officers should not tease Clawhauser by eating his donut. This is proven by Clawhauser having a counselling for psychotic traits and Nick's stay at hospital for two months.
255. The Officers Schneider and Wilde are not to be in the same room together. We may not care that their ancestors fought each other, but they do and Schneider has a K98
256. No canine personnel is allowed in autopsy. Not only is burying the bones tampering with evidence, this is also scares the public when they find the bones in the park
257. Do not throw nightsticks during operations. While it was a good idea to distract the lookouts by getting them to chase after it during Wednesday's drug bust, it was rendered moot when half of our officers broke cover to fetch it as well.
258. Do not throw nightsticks AT ALL! Due to the incident were one of our Officers threw a nightstick to get the wolf diving the ice cream truck to stop and case it, Bear n Robin's ice cream has dropped Precinct one from its route. Instead of the hole in the lobby being deducted from your pay we will instead release your name so everyone else knows who's to blame, Officer Tony Sanders start running.
259. No "truth or dare" games during break anymore, since Officer Wolford managed to get stuck in the air vent. I'm looking at you Wilde.
260. No officer shall ever mock a British accent again. Francine is still in Hospital and we can't figure out, how Wilde was able to do that.
261. It is prohibited for Wilde to carry his Lee Enfield around in the precinct, if it's not an emergency.
262. The New MP5A5s and G36Cs are not for show, they are for the Authorised Firearms Officer and Yes Wilde does qualify.
263. Detective Wilde, I do not care if you know ever one in the city. Last time you brought in pop star Gazelle Clawhauser’s fangirling shattered four Windows, and all Canine, Lupine Officers, yourself and Detective Hopps could only hear ringing for the rest of the day.
264. All Officers are reminded to prevent any fights in and out of the station. Officer Wilde had to fire off his gun for it to stop. We have to replace the ceiling now.
265. No starting bon fires in the station for smoores, Detective Wilde’s tail somehow ended up in the flames, prompting him to start chasing it again.

Chapter Text

1. Detective Wilde has been authorized for use with all firearm ballistics, don’t ask how, we’re trying to figure that out ourselves.
2. Detective Wilde has been banned from use of all non-firearm weapons; we are running out of tail splints.
3. Detective Wilde is now required to wear a tail guard on duty, we really don’t need to go to hospital to get the damned thing reattached.
4. Do not underestimate Detective Wilde's ability to harm his own tail, seriously, don’t.
5. Detective Wilde is to stop stealing balls from the sports cupboard, we can’t get his wife to retrieve the balls every time.
6. Detective Wilde and Detective Hopps-Wilde are no longer allowed to take the nightshift together, I’m sure you can figure out why.
7. Whoever took the donuts from Clawhauser, well done, he’s supposed to be on a diet.
8. Do not make Box or Funny jokes with Detective Hopps-Wilde, we don’t need to find out that a Rabbit can actually go savage.
9. No stating Detective Wilde’s full name, there is a reason he dropped the John.
10. No asking why Detective Wilde’s father calls him Junior, at all.
11. Never, EVER suggest, imply, or otherwise insinuate that Officer Wilde is capable, or indeed, talented, at cheating at cards, in front of Officer Hoops. This will not end well.
12. Do not attempt to play cards with Officer Wilde. This includes Black Jack, Three Card Monty, and All forms of Poker
13. Amendment to the above: Cheat, Go Fish, and Snap are not excluded from this, on account of not traditionally being betting games. You may think that will prevent you from losing money. This will not prevent you from losing money.
14. A reminder to all Officers, Officers Schneider and Wilde are not to be in the same room together especially if they're both armed.
15. Whenever Detective Wilde is entering the station don't yell out "The British are coming!" Officer Fangmeyer is still recovering from broken ribs.
16. Reminder to all officers, trying to scare Detective’s Wilde and Hopps is generally a bad idea.
17. Reminder to all Officers, posting photos of new equipment on Furbook is now banned.
18. Don't EVER put a muzzle on Detective Wilde's office desk. Whoever did it, I hope you’re happy that he has to now spend a week in therapy. Seriously, we don’t need one of our best Detectives going into shock.
19. Do not, under any circumstance, show Detective Hopps anything Creepypasta related. The last time she saw Jeff the Kitty, she refused to let go of Detective Wilde until he passed out.
20. No one is allowed to use the Ion Cannon in storage. We don’t know what it does or why it’s there.
21. To all officers, stop trying to setup Chief Bogo with another mammal. Last time we had to rescue him from a cross dressing tiger and his friends.
22. Clawhauser is to stop playing matchmaker. It did well with Hopps and Wilde but not so good with others. See previous rule for proof.
23. Detective Wilde is not allowed to pick the movies on Movie Friday anymore. Many are still in trauma counselling.
24. Detective Wilde is not allowed to sing Happy, it caused every Officers in the station to break out dancing.
25. No one is allowed to play the Police Story Movie Series in the station, except on Movie Friday.
26. No one is to play the British Grenadiers within Detective Wilde's hearing distance, he may be an excellent singer, but it does get annoying.
27. All Officer patrolling the slums must wear a stab proof vest. We don’t need another incident where Detective Hopps-Wilde nearly became a Widow.
28. FOR THE LOVE OF ASLAN DON'T PLAY WITH Detective WILDE'S POISON CONTAINER FROM THE SAS.
29. Who played with Detective Wilde's EMP Grenades again? All the Police Cruiser's electronics are fried.
30. All Narcotics Operations are to be jointly operated with the ZDEA, not go out and do an Anti-Drug War with the Cartel, Detective Wilde was spotted wearing Combat Gear with an M4 during one of the Raids.
31. No matter what, Detective Wilde is not to be disturb during his investigation unless it's important.
32. Stop telling the Rookies that Detective Wilde is James Bond.
33. Who gave Wilde military grade super glue?! He somehow glued his tail to the ceiling of the station and it took a long time to get him down!
34. We all know you like Guns N Rodents, Detective Hopps, but whenever you're entering the Rainforest District don't play "Welcome to the Jungle" through the sirens. Same goes for any officers.
35. If you have a backstage pass to a Gazelle concert, make sure to hide it from Chief Bogo and Clawhauser. Officers Delgato and Wolford were nearly trampled to death last time.
36. Only Detective Wilde is allowed to use the Ion Cannon, it seems that he knows what it does and how to handle it. He also has yet to shoot his tail off with it.
37. Reminder to all Officers, Detective Wilde is only allowed to use a Baton in non-lethal situations.
38. Even though Wilde is British doesn't mean he's a stereotype, even if he does like drinking tea.
39. No one is to bet a Schneider vs Wilde fight, Schneider involved the GSG9 and Wilde involved the SAS.
40. No trying arrest a badger because he "stepped on your tail" this means you, Wilde.
41. Whoever keeps putting up bunny/fox adoption papers, please stop. Detective Wilde and Detective Hopps-Wilde become unavailable for the rest of the day when this happens.
42. Reminder to all Officers to not allow any more male bunnies to be in sight of Detective Wilde or Detective Hopps. We don't need another flirting incident.
43. It is now banned to arrest the driver of the ice-cream truck and "confiscate" all of the truck's merchandise because he wouldn't stop. (We're looking at you Officers Fangmeyer, Wilde, and Schneider.)
44. Whoever put up pictures of Detective Hopps getting changed around the station, be aware that none of us will subdue him when Detective Wilde finds you; he WILL find you.
45. Do not even joke that there is someone named Shere Kahn here to see Wilde about his time in the secret service. Last time this happened Detective Wilde disappeared for two weeks and Detective Hopps-Wilde was crying her eyes out.
46. Detective Wilde is to take home all of his personal gear immediately. We can't keep replacing every computer and electronic device in the precinct every time someone uses an EMP grenade.
47. Detective Wilde is no longer allowed to bring personal equipment to work without permission. A Stinger missile launcher isn't police gear.
48. Detective Wilde is allowed to use the ion cannon. He somehow knows how to use it.
49. Do not ask Detective Wilde about his time in the secret service. Last time this happened Detective Wilde freaked out and disappeared for a week, you know I’m starting to see a pattern here.
50. To all Officers, stop baiting Clawhauser to doing your paperwork through the use of donuts and cereals. Be responsible for your own work and Clawhauser is on a diet!
51. No one is to ever label fox repellent as Genuine Zooisiana hot sauce EVER again, Hopps is still crying in my office and Wilde is still being treated for the blindness that was caused by it.
52. Remember kids, fire hot. Someone should probably make a note on that.
53. Attention officers, attention, remember to work the shaft. Wilde we know this was you.
54. If it wasn’t clear before it is now, By no means are Wilde and Hopps allowed in the copy room together and apparently I need a new secretary.
55. Do not use the mini-gun. Half of our officers are still in the hospital.
56. Do not prank Officer Hopps with anything ghost related. Wilde took an hour to literally drag her out of her home because she believed there was a ghost at the station.
57. Reminder to all officers, do not pull pranks that involve any hot sauce or Ghost Peppers. Some of our officers still have ice packs on their tongue.
58. Don't ask why Wilde has the British Flag and a London Metropolitan Police Bobby Helmet on his desk.
59. New Patrol Cars maybe bulletproof, but that doesn't mean it's a target for target practice.
60. All Officers must use the code 10-8 if you’re on duty.
61. All detectives must have their badges on the at all times, I really don’t want another incident where the Mayor mistook Detective Wilde for some shady business man.
62. I don't care how, but Detective Wilde is forever banned from using TASERS so stop giving him TASERS. We really don’t want another ‘king’ incident again do we?
63. Yes, Detective Wilde, we get that you are a Doctor Who fan, especially Sir John Hurt.
64. We don’t need the constant thing of The United Kingdom leaving the EU, Detective Wilde is still trying to deal with the other British Citizens here who have started to break out in riots. This is quite possibly the first time Detective Wilde has used any standard Police equipment properly.
65. Please do not mention Gazelle in front of either Detective Hopps-Wilde or Clawhauser, it took us three hours to get them both to shut up.
66. Officer Cody, there are no contingency orders that tell you to kill/subdue any of the Detectives on the force.
67. Alright, which one of you lot petitioned for Detective Wilde to be removed from the Force?
68. Please, who ever brought the little Vixen into the precinct, bring her again, she’s adorable.
69. Alright, who gave Wilde (Both of them) Coffee? They’ve locked themselves in their Office and frankly I believe that you can all here them from where you are.
70. Detective Wilde, please call your mother, this is the seventeenth time she’s called in at the front desk. PS. We now know your actual first name.
71. Please refrain from commenting that Detective Wilde acts like Conan from the Anime Detective Conan when he finally solves a case.
72. Who created a real Phantom Thief, who is based off Magic Kaito 1412?
73. Could someone please explain to Detective Hopps-Wilde what the previous rule is?
74. Reminder to all Officers, Detective Wilde is an Authorized Firearms Officer, and his Unmarked Squad Car is a moving armoury.
75. Kevlar Vests are now Standard issue and must worn at all times.
76. This a warning to all racists Officers, you are outnumbered 100 to 1 and Wilde has a Pranking/Torture arsenal.
77. Detective Wilde: you may be a detective now, but that does not give you an excuse to dress up like Furlock Holmes on the job. That bubble-blowing Meerkatz pipe is simply ridiculous.
78. To all feline officers of Precinct One: having roaring contests at the station is expressly forbidden.
79. Officer McHorn: from now on when your office door is jammed please wait for a locksmith instead of charging at it with your horn. According to the contractor that was a supporting wall you nearly destroyed.
80. To whoever pumped helium into the chief's office before he passed out the morning assignments, your commanding officer is not amused.
81. To whoever told Detective Hopps-Wilde about Detective Wilde's Playbunny magazines, he has sworn vengeance.
82. Just because the chief is a Buffalo that does not mean that he is angered by the colour red like a bull gets. The fact that Bogo automatically gets aggravated at the sight of Detective Wilde (Wilde's fur being red and all) is purely a coincidence.
83. The hoses on armoured police vehicles are not to be used as showers. I don't care how clean you may get or how funny it is to see bald patches on Detective Wilde's fur we cannot afford the clean-up from flooding the garage... for the fifth time this month
84. When Detective Wilde warns you about someone conning you, listen to him. The ZPD budget is still recovering after the whole fake Gazelle autograph incident.
85. To the practical joker who subscribed Chief Bogo to the Gazelle Gossip magazine, the joke is on you: he's already a subscriber
86. No one is to mention the word "neuter" in the building. It took the whole day to find the male felines, lupines, and the vulpine.
87. NO VIXENS IN SIGHT OF DETECTIVE HOPPS-WILDE OR DETECTIVE WILDE!
88. Do NOT ask Judy's parents if they had vasectomy yet.
89. NEVER underestimate Detective Hopps-Wilde. We have now learned she can beat anybody to a pulp in a sparring match, including Chief Bogo.
90. Reminder to all officers: just because Wilde is a designated firearms officer, doesn’t mean he's a sniper. Also, don't request for any weapons for the armoury, we can't have a Barrett m107 .50 or an M240, we also can't have AT4's.
91. Detective Wilde is only allowed to sing at Karaoke Saturdays.
92. Please don't disturb Detective Wilde, both of them, when they are explaining their deductions.
93. Reminder to all Racists Officers Detective Wilde is armed for a reason.
94. The new Helicopters are for police work not Romantic Flights.
95. Detective Wilde is not Sherlock Holmes.
96. All officer in Precinct 1 must sign a pact to eat Clawhauser's donut everyday at least once. He was supposed to be 'weight reduced' to normal level of fitness.
97. To any officer out there who using police superbike as patrol vehicle, DO NOT give Detective Wilde and Detective Hopps YOUR SUPERBIKE KEY.
98. To any officer who think bringing Clawhauser's family to 'Bring Your Family To Work' day, DON'T. We can't have Clawhauser being scolded for being 'fat'. It reduces Clawhauser's work productivity. And there's a reason why he doesn't live with his family again.
99. - All officer must not pushes Chief Bogo to give you case. When there is no case, there is no case. I'm watching you, Hopps.
100. For the last time, who brings laser to Precinct 1? The productivity of Precinct 1 dropped to zero just because all officer chased after it.
101. ALRIGHT, WHO BROUGHT THE LASER HERE?
102. To all officers, Officer Moon Moon is to be supervised by at least one officer at all times. He's a new recruit and a walking hazard when left unsupervised. Just ask Grizzoli in the infirmary.
103. No more bringing of pets in the precinct, especially spiders. The giant huntsman spider Officer Fangton brought is still on the loose and a third of the force won't come in until it has been caught.
104. Detective Wilde, do not take advantage of Officer Moon Moon's gullibility. The poor guy lost his first pay check when you tricked him into playing cards with you.
105. If anyone, only Detective Wilde is allowed to refer to Detective Hopps-Wilde as "cute". Anyone else risks her fury.
106. WHY ARE THERE ZOMBIES IN THE PRECINCT?!
107. Whoever dressed up as those zombies, your commanding officer is not pleased.
108. NEVER say that you hate pop-star Gazelle in front of Clawhauser. Even though he is not physically fit, he is still a cheetah.
109. To whoever put the nude photo of gazelle in chief’s paperwork you have parking duty for a month. And I'm looking at you Wilde.
110. No one is to mention Detective Wilde’s ex-wife. It was hard enough to explain to Detective Hopps-Wilde.
111. Detective Garfield we don't care how much of a jerk you think your partner Lieut. Nirmal is, so stop spamming HR with requests to get him transferred to Abu Dhabi.
112. While we are on the subject of Detective Garfield, no one's to tell him when the cafeteria is serving Italian, last time he found out he barricade himself in there and by the time we broke down the door half the food was gone.
113. No Detective Wilde, you did not learn everything you need to know in kindergarten.
114. Notice to the motor pool, for now on all porcupine officers are on permanent motorcycle duty as we can afford to keep fixing car seats every time they come back from patrol.
115. Will you all stop harassing officer Bellwether, he had nothing to do with his insane cousin’s anti-predator plot.
116. Okay apparently you idiots disregarded the last note and now officer Bellwether got himself transferred to Los Santos, claiming he'd rather be shot than harass, so I hope you all enjoy the mandatory week long species tolerance seminar.
117. Don't let Detective Hopps-Wilde drink any form of energy drink (besides coffee). She already has plenty of energy, and doesn't need more.
118. Officer Mchorn is injured at the moment and Officer Moon Moon needs a new partner. Again, don't leave Moon Moon unsupervised.
119. To the one dressed as a Ninja, Detective Wilde and the rest of the Authorized Firearms Unit are hunting you.
120. Will someone catch that Phantom Thief!
121. Reminder to all Officers, if a Military tank got stolen like San Francisco, please do not ask Wilde for Anti-Tank Weapons.
122. Please do not use the Riot Armor to be RoboCop.
123. No, we will not add attack helicopters to our arsenal.
124. Whoever keeps playing those Hyena Gomez CDs please stop, her shrieking gives half the station a headache.
125. To whoever rigged up the riot tank speakers to play 'let the bodies hit the floor' whenever the water cannon is fired, the Chief is willing to overlook this offense if you help setup his home theatre system.
126. If some whacked job manages to steal a tank like that time in San Dingo, don't go asking detective wilde for a rocket launcher, besides that's what the secondary tank full of industrial adhesive attached to the riot tanks water cannon is for.
127. Lieut. Nokiayama the precincts head corner would like to remind everyone that just because he's a raccoon dog, he doesn't have mystical powers like in Japanese mythology, so please stop trying to grab his crotch thinking it will bring you good luck, he has his ancestor’s katana and he knows how to use it.
128. Do not ask Detective Wilde about his family. He does not want talk about. He had a break down last week. If this rule is broken you will be punished by the chief.
129. To all officers, firearms are supposed to be used in emergency situations only, not in trying to kill the giant huntsman spider Officer Fangton lost. It was last seen in the armoury.
130. Do not tempt Officer Schneider with beer, Detective Wilde with tea, and Hopps with carrots. They will find out where you live.

Chapter Text

Rules of Precinct One Vol 3
1. Disregard any alleged sightings of "humans". They are just another myth/legend.
2. Never make bets with Detective Wilde. He is an ex-con artist after all.
3. Officer Moon-Moon is banned from using the superbike and helicopter. He also can't use tasers, tranquilizers, or firearms without supervision 
4. For the fifth time Wilde, you don't need a javelin missile launcher in your squad car. You also don't need a stinger, or an m24 
5. Wilde, just because you're the designated firearms officer doesn’t mean you can Cary a mk17 SCAR on patrol. You also can't carry a mp7, hk416, or m110 
6. All alcohol is now banned in the precinct. We don't need another incident where McHorn gets drunk and chases Wilde and the damage done to the precinct is still being repaired 
7. Never prank Detective Wilde by telling him that Detective Hopps-Wilde is having an affair with Agent Savage. Last time this happened both agent savage and detective Wilde ended up in the hospital 
8. Memo to self, have smaller toilets installed in the restrooms, this is the fourth time Detective Hopps has had to be fished out of the toilet.
9. Officer Thornton, while I know that it isn't your fault that you shed your quills, at least try to pick them up and throw them away, your fellow officers are tired of getting them stuck in their paws.
10. Stop trying to feel Wilde and Hopps's tails. I don't care how fluffy they look; not only is it extremely inappropriate, but it can also result in bodily harm towards yourself. Just ask Officer Sanders, he is missing several teeth from when Hopps kicked him in the face.
11. The new Ford Mustang maybe fast, but DON'T give the key to the fox and the bunny. Especially Judy Hopps, the precinct can't afford to get new car every time she crashes it.
12. The Ford Mustang maybe an RWD but is useless to drift. I'm watching you, Wilde.
 13. ALRIGHT, WHO GAVE THEIR SUPERBIKE KEY TO HOPPS?
 14. For the officer who have Zookemon Go app, arresting anyone just to get their collection is strictly prohibited. It's a police brutality.
15. For those officers who have Dawn Bellwether pics as their target practice, it's... just unamusing.
16. Officer Renko is allowed to use his TMD to decay Clawhauser's donut. P/S: Renko, you deserve more pay checks than other officer thanks to your TMD.
17. No Gazelle doll raffles...especially the rare Gazelle one.
18. No more allowing civilian parents to include precinct in their child's scavenger hunts especially when it involves archer superheroes, mob theme and Gazelle Birthday Parties...especially Gazelle birthday parties.
19. Nick is no longer allowed to conduct the precedent Secret Santa gift exchange...the talking Gazelle plush caused the intervention of precincts two and three.
20. Nick is no longer allowed to dress up as Santa nor have Gazelle dressed up as his elf helper fundraiser or not...How did he do that anyway?
21. Rule above applies to hospitals, central park and tundra town...especially tundra town.
22. No renting areas for private events unless it includes the whole precinct. This includes sports, rock concerts and Gazelle...especially Gazelle.
23. Officer Clawhauser should be told well in advance of any Zootopia runs, walks or fitness challenges that involve Gazelle...seriously last-minute fitness crash courses are good for no mammal.
24. Whoever is spreading rumours that Detective Wilde-Hopps is a vampire, just stop.
25. Detective Wilde-Hopps: please stop wearing fake fangs and red contact lenses to work and convince everyone that you’re a vampire. Wait are those fangs fake?
26. I don't care how, who and when, but stop wearing LSPD Uniforms in Zootopia and claim that you transferred from Los Santos. 
27. But we will be keeping the Patrol Cars after we repaint them. 
28. There is no such thing as an Armoured Car Escort Duty. 
29. Yes, Child Protective Service is part of our job. 
30. Stop saying that Police Officers only eats Doughnut and Coffee.
31. To whoever sent the "sample fertilizer" from Norway... I'm telling your wife. Wilde, I KNOW you did it.
32. No you may not request a giant Police robot to be added in the arsenal, not even if you have us watch Patlabor.
33. No military tanks are also not allowed.
34. No you may not quote the movie Dirty Harry
35. No you may not use Alvis Saracens, Humber Pigs and Saxon APCs as Patrol cars, they are horribly outdated and are marked for the British Army or the Royal Hong Kong Police.
36. And before you asked Wilde, yes, they do bring up memories of Northern Ireland or South Africa.
37. Leave disarming a bomb to the bomb squad, don't do it yourself, we can't have entire buildings collapsing. (Homage to lethal weapon)
38. There is a reason we have a list of Authorized Firearms, a Desert Eagle and a MG3 is not on the list.
39. Don't let Sgt. Ryan and Schneide together again, aparently Ryan own's his great grandfather's old M1 Garand and he will use it on both of them.
40. I don't care how but change the Riot Tank's water tank back to water not bright green slime.
41. No you may not use a Bayonet equipped M14s and a line of officers to stop a riot. Where did you find the Vietnam Era MP Uniforms anyway?
42. Detectives Hopps and Wilde: however nice your Oxcar award looks, it belongs in your home, not in the precinct trophy case.
43. Attention all officers: a film about Hopps and Wilde's first case has been officially greenlit, and scenes will be shot in Precinct 1 starting Monday. Officers may serve as extras if they wish.

44. Detective Wilde: the fact that Jason Biteman is portraying you in your upcoming film is no excuse to make him do your paperwork for you. And Hopps: please keep Ginnifer Goodwarren under control. I understand that she is a method actress and wishes to portray you well, but yesterday she actually went out and made an arrest in your name.
45. Officers are allowed and required to carry their department issue Glock 22 handgun or other duty weapon at all times. This is the ony weapon that officers can have in the building because we don't want Clawhauser to shooting a m32 MGL at a ice cream truck that was passing the precinct so that he could get it to stop.
46. The new LAV 25 is for SWAT opperations in the canal district. Officers cannot drive the vehicle on patrol. Also, don't touch the LAVs 25mm cannon, M240, or 81mm mortar system. We are in the process of training designated firearms officers to use the mortar, so until you receive training you cannot use it (this rule doesn't apply to officer Lupis, who served on a LAV in the Marine Corps.
47. No we will not add an Apache Attack Helicopter or a Cobra Attack Helicopter to our arsenal.
48. No we will not give you a key to the new Dodge Viper Highway Patrol Highspeed Interceptor to use just because you ask.
49. The new Riot vehicles aka. the loudspeaker jeep, the riot tank, the riot bus, the riot van, the riot APC, the Riot Police mobile command center, the mobile shield and the police bulldozer are not part of the police militarization conspiracy.
50. Nor are the new Uniforms that is inspired by the Japanese Kidotai; Riot Police Unit, that is mixed with some SWAT Gear.
51. For those who watched the Anime Patlabor, no we will not get a giant robot armed with a revolver cannon.
52. Reminder to all Officers, the Riot Police Unit aka. the Riot Troopers are a subdivision of SWAT, so I watch your tone.
53. New Riot vehicles aka. the loudspeaker jeep, the riot tank, the riot bus, the riot van, the riot APC, the Riot Police mobile command centre, the mobile shield and the police bulldozer are not part of the police militarization conspiracy.
54. No one is allowed to request a light armoured Scout Car for patrolling the slums or the bad side of town, that will not help you. You may stash Riot gear in your Patrol Car.
55. No one is to ask Wilde's cousin Lt. Naruto Uzumaki what is like being a Kidotai Officer in Japan or even part of the Anti-Firearms Squad, he is your Training Officer.
56. No one is allowed to use their Badges to get a discount or cut in line. Anywhere!
57. No, we will not borrow the National Guard's Humvees to patrol tundra town.
58. No, we will not get ex-military Humvees as Patrol Cars either. We have the jeep for that.
59. No one is allowed to use the Police code 10-99 for a prank the entire force including the Riot Police Unit, that join the mobilization, are not amused at all.
60. to any officers who knows how to cook, please do not make the food from food wars. it may be unnaturally tasty, but Clawhauser is still on a diet
61. the SUV cruise is 4x4, so please don't treat it as a rally car. some civilians have reported numerous police SUV racing on dry river road near the climate wall.
62. For Officers who have watched initial d, and have no cases to work for, get a kei car patrol. we want to avoid drift on drift street in tundra town
63. Clawhauser, this one for you. please go to gym with Judy. I see you have trouble getting out of your car.
64. And remind your snow leopard Selena not to drift at precinct one, we still cannot catch her
65. Clown masks are forbidden in the precinct. We don't want another attack like when Wilde pranked Sgt. Grizzoli and got clawed in the face.
66. Be careful when moving flashbang grenades through the precinct. The last time someone dropped a crate of flashbangs it scared the entire precinct, especially Wilde who started shooting a M240 out of his office while screaming "die terrorists die". It also caused most of the officers to experience temporary hearing loss, either from the flashbangs or from Wilde’s M240.
67. A reminder to all romantically involved officers, especially you Wilde’s, the precinct has security cameras in very nearly every corner. Cuddling is discouraged but acceptable.
68. Detective Wilde and Detective Hopps-Wilde's parents are never again allowed to visit them at work at the same time.
69. Detective Hopps-Wilde, please inform your friend Mr. Gideon Grey not to bring any kind of baked goods into the precinct. Again, we remind all officers that Clawhauser is supposed to be on a diet.
70. Don't ever prank Clawhauser with fake food. He's had to get his stomach pumped 4 times already.
71. Stop giving Detective Wilde a cardboard box! He keeps hiding in it and he won't stop sneaking around in it trying to remain undetected.
72. Detective Wilde, next time you go sneak out to get a smoothie, remember to get one for the Chief.
73. If Detective Wilde sees a muzzled child being taken in he will not go easy on you. You can ask the three officers in the infirmary. They are still recovering.
74. The men and women of Rainbow Six is not amused with your antics Detective Wilde, even if they are old friends.
75. To the idiot that used the industrial adhesive in the Riot tank to stop the ice cream van has to pay for damages.
76. No, you may not use the new Police SUV for patrol, that's for CO19 and SWAT.
77. No, you may not use the new Police MRAP to patrol the Rainforest district, it is for Riot Control to replace the old Riot Bus until we get a new one and for flood rescue.
78. No, we are not militarizing the Police Force.
79. OK! Who decided it was a good idea to give Hopps-Wilde an energy drink? She ran around the building 4 times in under 3 minutes, then proceeded to come back in and drag Wilde somewhere. We're pretty sure she locked them in their office...
80. If you want to take a personal weapon on patrol, you must clear it with Chief Bogo. And no Wilde, no matter how much you beg, you can't take an SA-80 and or an L96 on patrol. You don't need them.
81. STOP MAKING WEAPONS SUGGESTIONS. WE CAN'T HAVE A McMillan TAC .338, Kel Tec KSG, H&K MP7, OR A M27 IAR.
82. All officers are permitted and required to carry a Glock 19 handgun and six magazines. The other firearms in the armoury are for emergencies only. You don't need to go on patrol with a M4.
83. Effect-of-immediately, any and all rule book submissions and further printings are to be ignored. The Commissioner has finally become aware and has ordered us to cease and desist.