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Kyo loves to hold his hand. He’s constantly reaching out his hand to Kazuma, palm up; his bracelet is too big for his small wrist so it’s wrapped around twice. If Kyo’s sleeves are long, he’ll even push them back so Kazuma can clearly see his hand. It’s incredibly sweet, and Kazuma cherishes the fact that Kyo trusts him enough to do this.
Kazuma always takes it, of course, when Kyo asks. He will never, ever ignore Kyo when he wants to hold hands. This sweet, traumatized little boy deserves whatever comfort he desires. He needs to see what a real family can be like, he needs to feel and understand love and care and protection, even amongst the heartache he has now. Even if there will inevitably come a time when Kyo no longer wants to hold his hand.
Kyo always asks to have his hand held and Kazuma always says yes. Even if no words are exchanged. This is just what they do .
So, when he gets the question from Kyo, he doesn’t expect it.
“Why do you always hold my hand, Master?” Kyo asks. Their hands are currently clasped. It’s noon and Kazuma is...well, attempting lunch, but he’ll likely have to get Kunimitsu to fetch it for them. Again.
“What do you mean?” Kazuma asks back as he turns the fish over on the grill. It smells like charred meat, and that’s probably because it is.
Kyo shrugs, shy, looking down. Kazuma leaves it alone. When Kyo is ready, he’ll ask again, Kazuma’s sure.
Just a couple hours later, when they’re having quiet time and reading, Kyo reaches his hand out again, palm up. Kazuma takes it and turns the page of his own book.
Kyo huffs.
“You’re doing it again…”
“Do you not want me to hold your hand, Kyo?” Is he getting too old? Is it already here? Will Kazuma have to give up this part of boyhood already?
“N-no, it’s not that...I just don’t get it, I guess.”
Kazuma chuckles, and leaves it alone. He’ll take what he can get from Kyo. Clearly he still wants to continue.
A few more hours pass, and Kyo offers his hand up. Kazuma waits a few moments before taking it, waiting to see if Kyo will shy away, but Kyo doesn’t.
“Are you ready for training?” He asks, and Kyo nods, although he looks a little off.
At six, right as the clock tolls and they’re setting down for dinner, Kyo offers his hand up again.
And that’s when Kazuma realizes.
A wave of dread washes over him. Kyo has been living with him for months, following this pattern, and he’s neglected to notice it this entire time. He’s been brushing it off this entire time.
“Kyo?” He asks. “Why do you do this?”
Maybe he should have asked this more tenderly. More carefully. More like a father.
Kyo looks up at him, bewildered.
“So you can make sure my beads are on. It needs to be checked every two hours.” Kyo’s voice is so sweet, saying this so innocently.
Kazuma is going to be sick.
“And who…” Kazuma realizes where this conversation is going. He takes Kyo’s hands - both of them, desperately, perhaps, but he needs Kyo to know he won’t be going away anywhere. “Who told you this had to happen?”
Kyo stares at their locked hands. He shrugs.
“Mom always checked it, I guess. Sometimes dad did, too.” Kyo bites his bottom lip, a bit nervous. “It was only so they could make sure I was wearing them. Because...if I’m not…”
Kazuma gets out of his seat and kneels down next to Kyo, gets on his level.
“Kyo…” he trails off. Where does he even begin? “Your parents shouldn’t have been doing that to you. It doesn’t feel nice, does it?”
Kyo blushes, looking away. He shakes his head, though, which works fine for Kazuma. Any communication is good communication.
“S-sometimes...sometimes she would check it more. During the winter. When my sleeves were longer and she couldn’t see it easily...I got a rash once because she kept pulling my sleeves back.”
Kazuma takes a deep breath in, trying to quell his rage. Kyo shouldn’t see how angry he is. All he can do, for now, is-
“I promise to never check on your beads, Kyo. Do you believe me? I promise. I will never, ever check on them.”
Kyo swings his feet back and forth, a nervous habit.
“Will you still hold my hand?” His voice is so, so small, but it hits Kazuma right in the chest.
“Always.”