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Beca does not enjoy being touched. That much was made clear to Chloe from the night that Beca officially became a Barden Bella.
Hugs were slinked out of, hands on shoulders were shrugged off, wrists were pulled quickly from grips. Any touch that Beca could avoid was avoided in the swiftest possible fashion.
Chloe, being an extremely touch-prone person (her primary love language is physical touch, after all), doesn’t always quite understand why people don’t like being touched. She knows that’s how they are, she just doesn’t fully grasp why that is. So Chloe tries to reign in her affections as much as she possibly can.
Still, Chloe is only human, which means she can’t help but sneak in little touches whenever she can.
And she really is sneaky, or at least she thinks she is. Letting her hand linger against Beca’s when they’re attempting (and failing) to do their hands in at the end of rehearsal, brushing her shoulder against Beca’s when she passes her on her way to class, slipping her arms around Beca’s middle to help her with some choreography.
Okay, so maybe that last one isn’t totally subtle. And maybe she has a tendency to wrap herself around Beca a little too much when the opportunity presents itself, but for some reason Beca hasn’t tried pulling away yet in that specific scenario. In fact, she almost seems to… lean into it? She definitely stiffens when Chloe is that close to her, guiding her arms in the correct dance moves, but there is a decided lack of the wanting-to-get-the-hell-out-of-there energy that typically permeates Beca’s aura in those kinds of situations.
Then again, Chloe might be a little crazy. Maybe she’s projecting her own wants onto someone else. It wouldn’t have been the first time.
Over the next few months of rehearsals and performances and getting to know Beca, however, Chloe starts to suspect that her initial observation might not be so crazy after all. Most of the time, Beca is still adamant about not being “manhandled” – that’s the word she uses: manhandled – by anyone, but on very rare occasions, her protests are reduced to grumbles and her moves to get away are less forceful. Eventually, Chloe starts to discover a pattern.
Beca shies away from touch when she thinks other people are looking. If no one is looking, she doesn’t mind as much.
Chloe is intrigued by this- understandably so, she thinks. So she starts being more selective with her timing and mindful with her surroundings when she goes to make contact with Beca.
Her first big breakthrough (she decides it’s a breakthrough) is during a mandatory Bellas movie night. All the girls are piled onto the couches in the Bellas House, which Chloe is decidedly thrilled about. Sometimes the house seems far too big for just Aubrey and Chloe to be living in, even if Aubrey is Chloe’s best friend. Between homework, preparing for graduation, and planning Bellas rehearsal, Aubrey isn’t always available to just hang out with Chloe like they used to. It’s a nice change of pace to have several people to talk and laugh with in their home every so often.
They pick a movie – some indie film that Jessica loves but Chloe has never heard of – and Chloe quickly claims a seat, squeezing onto the loveseat that with all the cushions has essentially become a one-seater with Beca. Beca, of course, protests the close contact, claiming that Chloe is “like, totally wedged into her space, dude,” but her complaints her swiftly shushed by the others as the movie starts.
Beca’s movements from there are a slow progression, but Chloe is aware of each and every one. She starts the movie leaning her upper body away from Chloe, but within the first ten minutes she’s shifted to sitting upright, ramrod straight. It takes another ten for Beca to relax, slouching into the couch a little more comfortably next to Chloe. After that she slowly – so slowly – begins to lean into Chloe’s side. It’s a subtle lean, barely any pressure against Chloe’s left side, as if Beca is afraid of Chloe noticing, but the warmth radiating off of Beca’s body seeping into Chloe’s is undeniable.
Chloe doesn’t move a muscle during all this, of course. She keeps herself relaxed, eyes on the screen (even if she has no idea what’s actually happening on screen), and forces herself to wait for Beca to come to her.
It’s a remarkable show of self-restraint, Chloe thinks. She mentally pats herself on the back for her capabilities.
It takes everything in Chloe to not squeal in excitement when Beca gently – so gently – puts her head on Chloe’s shoulder.
And really, her head isn’t on Chloe’s shoulder; Beca’s slouched posture levels her temple just barely to the top of Chloe’s arm, so her head is more resting on the side of Chloe’s shoulder, but still.
It is, by Chloe’s standards, a breakthrough.
Halfway through the movie, Beca Mitchell is asleep and comfortable and adorable, tucked right into Chloe’s side. Chloe resists the strong urge to run her fingers through Beca’s hair or put an arm around her middle or slip her hand into Beca’s limp one, forcing herself to remain still, taking the victory that she has been granted for this night.
At the end of the movie, Chloe gives the shoulder with Beca’s head on it a small wiggle to wake the other girl up, knowing that Beca would prefer no one sees her conked out against Chloe lest they give her grief about it until the end of time.
Beca blinks sleepily up at Chloe, her eyes still droopy as her brain boots back up. Chloe smiles softly at her, and Beca smiles back before she seems to realize her placement, then she’s stiffening and sitting back upright with pink cheeks and eyes looking anywhere but at Chloe.
It’s quite honestly one of the cutest things Chloe has ever seen, and she starts to suspect that she would do just about anything for this girl.
After that night, Beca doesn’t seem to pull away from Chloe’s touches quite as much as she did before.
Chloe also starts to learn more about Beca’s background and why she seems so… untouchable, for lack of a better word.
Her dad stops by, one time, when Chloe is hanging out in Beca’s room. He seems a little surprised, but pleasantly so, to see Beca with someone, and introduces himself by saying he teaches comparative literature at Barden, which Beca groans at. He’s all business after that, asking Beca about her classes and homework and grades.
Chloe watches Beca carefully through the whole interaction, noticing how she seems to grow tenser with every question asked. And if she was snippy with Aubrey at practices, that was nothing compared to how to she talked to her dad. Beca’s every response is sarcastic, clipped, or downright irritated, and Dr. Mitchell’s tone isn’t much better. After a forced-sounding goodnight, Beca’s dad leaves, the atmosphere in the room still thick after the door shuts behind him.
They sit in silence for a moment, Beca’s posture still stiff at her desk as she stares at her computer, fingers frozen over the keyboard.
Chloe’s voice cuts through the room like a knife. “He seems… nice.”
Beca sighs, rubbing at her eyes and smearing her eyeliner ever so slightly. “Yeah, sorry about that. It’s- he… we don’t really have the greatest relationship at the moment.”
“Why’s that?” Chloe asks without thinking, and then realizes that maybe she shouldn’t be prying. “I mean, only if you feel comfortable telling me, of course.”
“It’s nothing, really. It’s all good,” Beca starts, immediately going to brush it off. Chloe is prepared to change the topic, but then Beca seems to reconsider. “Actually, no” she says, hesitance in her voice, “it kind of sucks. He walked out on me and my mom a few years ago, and since then, everything in our family has felt… off.” Beca doesn’t look toward Chloe as she talks, eyes focused on her computer still, and Chloe can tell it’s because she feels awkward sharing her feelings. “I’ve basically had to take care of myself since he left, so it’s weird being here and having him tell me what to do all the time, you know? Mom never really gave a shit about what I did, so now it just kind of feels suffocating.”
Chloe stays quiet as she waits for Beca to finish. When she does, Beca glances over with a wry smile. “I don’t know. It’s not really a huge deal, but it does feel kind of nice to talk about.” She turns her eyes down to the floor and tucks some hair behind her ear. “So, uh, thanks for that.”
“It was no problem at all,” Chloe tells her sincerely. “Any time you feel like talking about anything, just let me know. I’ve taken a psychology class, so I’m basically a certified therapist, anyway.”
That makes Beca laugh and the tension in the room drops. Beca starts talking about how she wishes she’d taken psychology instead of intro to philosophy, and Chloe considers it another breakthrough.
* * *
Based on all she now knows about Beca Mitchell, Chloe makes two assumptions.
One, Beca’s parents never showed her much affection after their divorce, physically or emotionally, and that’s why she’s not super comfortable with either.
Two, although Beca isn’t used to physical touch, there is still a part of her that craves it, even if she doesn’t know it yet. This is based completely off the fact that Beca leans into many of Chloe’s touches, even while she complains verbally at the same time.
Chloe’s theories are supported when she hugs Beca for the first time, totally without thought, when they meet up one evening to study together. She doesn’t even recall deciding to hug Beca upon seeing her. Once the other girl opens the door she just… can’t help herself. Her arms are around Beca before she knows what’s happening, and she only realizes what she’s done when she hears Beca’s little inhale of surprise.
“Shit! I’m really sorry,” Chloe says, all but launching herself away from Beca. “I know you’re not a fan of touching, and that was totally inconsiderate of me, and- are you okay?”
Beca blinks and lifts a hand to her cheek, seeming to just now realize that there was a tear rolling down it. She wipes it away hastily and shakes her head a little. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just-” she blinks again “I guess it’s been a while since anyone’s hugged me.”
Chloe is surprised the sound of her heart breaking doesn’t echo down the empty hallway. “Oh,” she says, the shock clear in her voice. She can already sense Beca not wanting to make a big deal of it, so she quickly regains her composure. “Well, then there’s plenty more where that came from if you play your cards right.” It’s said in a flirty tone, which is always a good default for Chloe to fall back on, so she tags a wink on at the end and breezes by Beca into the room. “So you’re struggling with the citations for your philosophy paper, yeah?”
True to her word, Chloe continues with the hugs (only when they’re not around other Bellas, of course), because she is a firm believer that everyone deserves hugs on at least a semi-regular basis. Like with all of Chloe’s touches, Beca is stiff at first anytime Chloe puts her arms around her, but she quickly starts to relax more and more into the gesture with each passing day, which pleases Chloe greatly.
It’s late one evening as Chloe and Beca make their way to the bus stop on campus. Practice had been a near disaster that day, so Chloe had offered to take Beca out to get some food (as friends- it was a friendly offer) to let her rant about how terrible Aubrey was, and how she didn’t even like a cappella, and how “Oh my god, how can you be so positive all the time? I can’t tell if it’s annoying or inspiring.” Chloe had mostly just nodded along, trying not to think about how cute Beca was when she was all riled up.
Beca shivers as they reach the bus stop, squeezing her folded arms tighter across her chest. Chloe looks at her in sympathy; the temperature had made an unexpected drop after the sun went down, and now Beca is stuck in the cold without a jacket. Fortunately, Chloe was prone to being cold in any situation, so she’d already had one at the ready. She supposes she could give her jacket to Beca (as another friendly offer), but then that would leave Chloe freezing…
“Do you want a hug?” Chloe blurts out. Beca blinks at her. Chloe continues timidly. “I mean, if you’re cold, I could hug you to keep you warm?”
Chloe feels her cheeks grow pink, and not just from the chill in the air. Beca was going to think she was dumb and weird and she should take it back before-
“Sure.”
Chloe blinks. “Really?”
Beca just looks at her expectantly, so Chloe opens up her arms.
The first thing Chloe always notices about Beca when she’s close to her is how warm she is. It’s surprising, really, given how small she is combined with her icy personality, but it’s undeniable; Beca Mitchell simply radiates warmth. Even now, as she presses against Chloe for warmth, Chloe feels some from her in return.
Another thing Chloe has noticed about Beca: she never really hugs back- at least, not with her arms. The first few times Beca didn’t wrap her arms around Chloe when she was hugged, Chloe figured she was just uncomfortable. Then, Chloe started to realize that Beca would do little things in place of using her arms: hooking her chin over Chloe’s shoulder, leaning her weight against Chloe’s chest, simply letting herself be held.
And Chloe was more than willing to be the one that held her.
So when Beca steps into her arms, Chloe wraps herself tightly around her. Beca tucks her arms against her chest, and Chloe rubs her hands up and down Beca’s back a few times. And really, Chloe is only a couple of inches taller than Beca, but in this moment Beca seems so small, ducking her head under Chloe’s chin to rest her forehead against her collarbone. Chloe feels Beca sigh, the warmth of her breath hitting Chloe’s skin the gap in Chloe’s jacket.
Chloe smiles into Beca’s hair and adds this to the list of other little breakthroughs they’ve had.
At this point, Chloe knows that she would do anything for this girl. Her heart beats wildly in her chest, and with Beca so close, Chloe wonders if she can hear it.
If the bus never comes, Chloe wouldn’t consider it the worst thing in the world.