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Published:
2021-09-02
Completed:
2021-09-30
Words:
3,000
Chapters:
30/30
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84
Kudos:
21
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Quiche Me Slowly: Sapphic September 2021

Summary:

30 Heather/Rachel drabbles for Sapphic September 2k21.

Notes:

Thank you to doingthemost for convincing me to do this and to google for being there when I was like "what do people do on a goat farm every day?".

All prompts come from this post.

Happy Sapphic September, friends! 💖

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: sunrise

Notes:

prompt: sunrise, rated g

Chapter Text

Heather gets lost in her morning tasks sometimes, the motions so repetitive it feels automatic and isolating. She almost forgets she’s not alone until she hears boots on the gravel. 

“For you.” Rachel grins, handing her a coffee cup. “And for the kids.” She laughs, tossing down a bale of hay.

The peak of sunrise breaks in the corner of her eye; the bright colors swirling around Rachel’s head like a halo. Rachel leans down to kiss her softly, and Heather stills, just for a moment, to remind herself that every day could be good if it starts like this.

Chapter 2: picnic

Notes:

prompt: picnic, rated g

Chapter Text

Rachel climbs the steps of the ladder, very aware of Heather’s gaze on her. She pauses on one of the steps and wiggles her hips, and Heather taps her ass gently with a laugh before she continues.

The hayloft is Rachel’s favorite place to spend time when she visits. There’s a small couch and a coffee table — currently covered in a plaid picnic blanket. 

Heather runs her fingers over the handle of the basket and smiles. “You did this?” 

Rachel nods, suddenly breathless. “Y-yeah. I even made the danishes myself.”

Heather pulls her close and kisses her softly. “Lucky me.”

Chapter 3: garden

Notes:

prompt: garden, rated g

Chapter Text

Heather crouches down in the garden and sifts through the soil to pull out the onions and carrots that she’ll need for dinner tonight — taking the time to smooth the soil and pat it into place. 

She’s putting zucchini into the basket when she sees it, a tiny flower blooming on one of the stems. She reaches out to run her finger along it gently before she moves down to the plant marker. A smile tugs at her lips.

Rachel’s Heirloom Tomatoes

The plant is pretty new, and a ways away from being an actual tomato. But still.

It’s blooming.

Chapter 4: stars

Notes:

prompt: stars, rated m

Chapter Text

Rachel shuts her eyes so tightly that galaxies of stars burst beneath her eyelids.

“Come on, baby.” Heather whispers in her ear. “Look at me.” 

Rachel blinks her eyes open slowly and Heather smiles, leaning down to kiss her — chuckling when Rachel whines and tries to pull her closer.

“That’s it.” Rachel trembles as Heather gently runs her fingers along the inside of her thigh. “You’re being so good, Rach.”

Please —” The rest gets lost in a loud cry when Heather finally slips two fingers inside her. 

Rachel shatters against the press of her fingertips, Heather’s name on her tongue.

Chapter 5: pool

Notes:

prompt: pool, rated g

Chapter Text

“Wow.” Rachel says, eyes wide as Heather sinks the two ball into the side pocket. “You’re really good at this.” 

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” Heather smiles. Rachel bites her lip, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and Heather stutters. The four ball hits the table. “Oops.”

“My turn.” Rachel grins. And then she proceeds to sink the nine ball.

And the twelve ball.

And the ten ball. 

“Did you just ... hustle me?” Heather blinks.

“I did.” Rachel pulls Heather in by the belt loops and kisses her slowly.

Heather pinches her hip. “Ok, then. Game on.”

Chapter 6: wedding

Notes:

wedding, rated g

Chapter Text

Juniper blinks up at them, her rectangular pupils boring into Rachel’s soul, silently asking How could you do this to me?

“What’s the likelihood of her chewing through this on the day of the wedding?” Rachel asks while Heather adjusts the small pillow that will hold their rings to the goat’s back. 

“About ninety-percent.” Heather says. “But hopefully she’ll be distracted by all the people fawning over her and leave it.” 

“And the likelihood of you getting cold feet and leaving me at the altar?” Rachel teases. 

Heather leans over and kisses her slowly, bumping their foreheads together. “Zero percent.”

Chapter 7: new moon

Notes:

new moon, rated g

Chapter Text

“Ok so wait. Why is he just … walking out into the sun like that?” 

“He’s a vampire, um. And he’s trying to get the attention of the Volturi —”

“And they’re the vampire mafia, right?” 

“Basically.”

“And Jacob is Bella’s new boyfriend?”

“No, he’s around her because … it’s complicated.”

“And you … willingly watched this in theaters? Rach it’s … it’s bad.” 

“Because I read the books in college! It was nostalgic, Heather, it’s not like I still like them!” 

“So if I told you that you shot across my sky like a meteor, you wouldn’t swoon?” 

“...”

“Oh my god, you’re totally swooning!”

Chapter 8: dawn

Notes:

prompt: dawn, rated g

Chapter Text

“Heather,” Rachel breathes when she answers her phone, bagel clattering onto her plate. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” Heather sounds...nervous? “I have a question for you.”

“Yes?”

“It just kind of, um, dawned on me but...have you been flirting with me? The last few weeks?” 

Rachel sucks in a breath. “Yes? Um, badly I think. If you’ve just now figured it out. But it could be no. If you’re not into me flirting with you.”

“No, I —” Rachel’s stomach sinks. “Do you want to go to dinner with me?”

“Oh! Um.” Rachel bites her lip. “Yeah. Yes. I–I’d love to.” 

Chapter 9: freezing

Notes:

prompt: freezing, rated g

lighting designer!Rachel and stage manager!Heather

Chapter Text

Rachel flies through the list of light cues on the board, making sure there aren’t any dark spots on stage — making a note when a moving light doesn’t track to the next cue.

“There you are. Cast and crew were dismissed two hours ago.” 

Heather slides onto the bench next to her. Rachel bites her lip. “I know, sorry.” 

“You know we’re not freezing the show tomorrow right? There's time.” 

“I know. I just want to get this right.” 

Heather drops her calling script onto the table and opens to the first page. “Ok. Let’s go through it together then.”

Chapter 10: festival/carnival

Notes:

prompt: festival/carnival, rated g

high school!au

Chapter Text

Rachel pulls Heather along the lines of booths, making a beeline for the apple cider. “C’mon, Heather, I have plans for us today and it starts here.” 

“Rach.” Heather laughs and tugs on her cheer sweater. “Slow down, we have all day.” 

“I know but,” Rachel bites her lip. “It’s just that this is the last fall festival we can go to together and —”

“You know I’m just graduating right? I can still come next year.” 

“But you’ll be at college then and who knows if you’ll even want —”

“Hey.” Heather pulls her in and kisses her softly. “I’ll want.” 

Chapter 11: dust

Notes:

prompt: dust, rated g

spoilers for avenger’s infinity war/endgame kind of?

Chapter Text

Heather wakes up on the floor of the barn, but it’s empty. A woman stands over her, eyes wide. “Who’re you?” 

The woman reaches down to help her up. “I, um. I own the farm?” 

“No, I own the farm.” Heather frowns. “What year is it?” 

“2023.” No it’s…2018. Right? “Did you — you must’ve been one of the ones who Thanos, um.” The woman snaps her fingers. “Dusted.” 

“I — ”

“It’s a lot, I imagine. I could, um, tell you about it over lunch?” The woman reaches out to grab Heather’s hand, it’s soft and her stomach flips. “I’m Rachel.”

Chapter 12: hollow

Notes:

prompt: hollow, rated g

Chapter Text

It starts with a Polly Pocket in the hollow of the tree between their houses. When they were little girls they would hide toys in there for the other to find on their walk to school. 

Eventually small trinkets gravitated to notes:

You looked really pretty today. 

I missed you. 

Heather would press Rachel up against the tree and kiss her until she was breathless, a note clenched tightly in her hand. 

And then one day, many, many years later Heather found a trinket in the tree hollow once more: a ring. And with it was a note. 

Marry me? 

Chapter 13: moving day

Notes:

prompt: moving day, rated t

Chapter Text

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping?”

“I am helping.” Rachel laughs as Juniper wiggles in her lap. “By supervising, and cuddling the goat. You don’t need me — your arms are so strong and capable. It’s very hot.”

Heather removes her flannel for emphasis, and her tank top leaves little to Rachel’s imagination. She drops down onto the floor, crowding into her space when Juniper loses interest and disappears.

“You’re sweaty.” Rachel groans as Heather trails kisses up her neck.

“Help me move these boxes,” Heather tugs on her earlobe gently, “and then I can be sweaty for a different reason.”

Chapter 14: farm

Notes:

prompt: farm, rated g

Chapter Text

Heather wakes slowly, burrowing deeper into the mattress. When she blinks her eyes open sunlight streams softly through the windows — 

Sunlight. 

Heather shoots up out of bed. Fuck she’s late.  

She haphazardly throws on a pair of jeans and stumbles down the stairs and outside before coming to a halt. 

The farm is quiet. Almost peaceful. 

“There you are!” Rachel grins, coming out of the barn with a large bucket. “Good morning.” 

“You let me sleep in?” 

“Thought I should start pulling my weight.” Rachel winks and kisses her cheek. “Now c’mon, I want to learn how to make cheese.” 

Chapter 15: haunted

Notes:

prompt: haunted, rated g

ghostbusters!AU

Chapter Text

The P.K.E meter shoots off as soon as her and Heather step onto the farm. 

“Oooh, yep.” Rachel’s eyes jump from the screen to the giant barn a few feet away. “Definitely haunted.” 

“Can you get a sense of what we’re dealing with?” Heather asks, adjusting the dial on her proton pack. “Like, is this thing Casper or an angry poltergeist?” 

The meter beeps a few more times before it turns into an angry whirring and Rachel bites her lip while she tries to gauge the activity. “Both,” she says eventually while Heather fixes the trap. “Definitely both.”

Chapter 16: smoking

Notes:

smoking, rated g

Chapter Text

The girl next to her is coughing uncontrollably. Heather taps her shoulder gently and slides over her untouched glass of water. “Thanks,” the girl gasps and smashes a cigarette into the ashtray on the bar. “That's what happened when I was fifteen too.” 

“Bad day?” 

“You could say that.” She snorts. “I just made a complete fool of myself. Figured I’d try to lick my wounds before I go home.” 

“You want to talk about it?” Heather asks. “Someplace quieter maybe?” 

“Actually — yeah. Yes, that would be really great.” She reaches out. “Rachel.” 

“Heather.” Rachel smiles. “Nice to meet you.”

Chapter 17: fireworks

Notes:

prompt: fireworks, rated g

Chapter Text

The energy between them has shifted. There’s a static charge that wasn’t there before and Rachel realizes she’s about to be kissed.

Heather’s eyes flick down to her mouth before coming up to meet her eyes and it feels like someone’s lit a match. Her pulse speeds up and her breath quickens.

They’re inside, but Rachel swears fireworks go off when their lips finally touch. It lights her up from the inside and she presses into Heather’s side, trying to consume as much as she can. 

Heather breaks off with a laugh and Rachel really needs to kiss her again.

Chapter 18: double date

Notes:

prompt: double date, rated g

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry. This wasn’t how I imagined our first date going.”

Rachel smiles and scoots closer to where Heather is sitting on the floor of the barn, Winnie in her lap and Clive at her side. “I don’t know. I’ve been on worse double dates than this.” She bumps their shoulders together. 

Heather laughs. “Yeah, but still. I wanted tonight to be special. Y’know, impress you and everything.” 

Rachel bites her lip and rests her head on Heather’s shoulder. “I don’t know, you being able to take care of a goat with a stomach bug is pretty impressive.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Chapter 19: fairies

Notes:

prompt: fairies/the fae, rated g

it's still the 19th on the west coast so, here, have a winx club au!

Chapter Text

Fire just came out of her hand. 

Rachel doesn’t know where to look — at her palm or at the giant glowing sun scepter.  

“Hey, thanks.” The other girl — Heather — says, and Rachel has to do a double take. She’s dressed in some kind of shimmery orange dress and has wings. Fucking wings. “I’ve been fighting with that troll for an hour. Are you new to Alfea? I’ve never seen you there before.” 

“I — what?” 

“You’re a Winx, right?” Heather blinks. “A fairy?” 

“No I-I’m sixteen.” Rachel stumbles. “What’s a Winx?” 

“Oh,” Heather laughs. “Have I got a story for you.”

Chapter 20: history

Notes:

prompt: history, rated g

inspired by this tumblr post.

Chapter Text

“Hey,” Rachel smiles at Heather over her sewing machine. “What’s up?” 

Heather holds up a slip of paper. “New assignment.” 

“Oooh, where are we going in history this time?” Rachel is excited until she reads the slip. “Seriously? Elizabethan England again?” 

“There’s a new collector, wants another vase or something.” Heather shrugs. 

“Well the jewels are loaned out to Alexis, so you’ll have to be a peasant.” Heather pouts. “C’mon! You know I need at least a week’s notice for jewels and corsets.” 

“Please?” Heather asks. “For me?”

Rachel bites back a smile. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do.”

Chapter 21: celestial bodies

Notes:

prompt: celestial bodies, rated g

inspired by that one scene in a walk to remember.

Chapter Text

“You’re really good at this, y’know.” Heather comments as Rachel adjusts the aperture of the telescope. 

Rachel blushes. “I was kind of obsessed as a kid. Had the giant telescope and everything.” 

Heather hooks her chin over Rachel’s shoulder and holds up a map. “Could you find this one?” 

“Sure.” Rachel fiddles with the telescope until she finds it. “Oh, that’s pretty. But I don’t know this one.”

“That’s because I had it named for you.” Heather says and kisses her cheek softly.

“What?” 

“I had it —” 

Rachel tackles her to the floor and kisses her before she can finish.

Chapter 22: autumn

Notes:

prompt: autumn, rated g

Chapter Text

Leaves of red and orange and yellow explode into the air. Heather groans.

“Do you see how many trees I have on this farm?” Heather asks. “If you keep jumping into my leaf piles we’ll never finish.” 

“But this is the best part of autumn!” Rachel gets up and brushes herself off and takes the rake from Heather, gathering the scattered leaves into a pile. “Go ahead, try it.” 

It feels like she’s resting on a cloud. A crinkly cloud, but a cloud no less. Heather peeks one eye open and shuts it when she sees Rachel’s smirk. 

“Told you.”

Chapter 23: twilight

Notes:

prompt: twilight, rated g

Chapter Text

Rachel watches the sun fade into the horizon and melt into a haze of pink and blue and periwinkle.  Heather’s head lolls to the side and she breathes into Rachel’s neck gently. 

“Baby,” Rachel says gently and kisses her forehead. “C’mon you fell asleep. Let’s go to bed.” 

“We were gonna look at constellations,” Heather mumbles. “It’s barely eight, I can make it. Let’s just stay out here a little longer.” 

Rachel presses her nose into Heather’s hair and kisses her again. She hums a little and burrows into her side a little closer. 

“Ok.” Rachel smiles. “A little longer.”

Chapter 24: magic

Notes:

prompt: magic, rated g

it's still technically the 24th lmao.

Chapter Text

“So why do you put the charm in goat cheese?” Rachel examines the packages before she puts them in the refrigerator. 

“It bonds better to the magic than batter does.” Heather says, pulling more out of the box to hand to her. “Plus, it tastes really good.” 

The barn gets a little busy then, their usual rush of customers coming in and cleaning out their supply. Heather smiles at Rachel over the rush as she enchants someone’s fountain pen. 

“So what about the quiche you made for lunch?” Rachel smirks. “Is that magical too?” 

Heather snorts. “You could say that.”

Chapter 25: space

Notes:

prompt: space, rated g

yes i stole the planet name from guardians of the galaxy lmao

Chapter Text

Rachel watches the supernovas and constellations that make up the galaxy fade into the blue skies of Xandar. 

She takes a seat, flipping the ship off auto pilot. There’s nothing quite like the rush she gets when she flies — zooming through time and space and jumping between worlds. 

After checking the bounty again — the payoff well worth the trip — she finds a nearby landing strip.

The prisoner is still cuffed to the bench in the back of the ship, her curly hair falling over her eyes, expression dark and stormy. 

“C’mon, Heather.” Rachel smirks. Heather’s lip twitches. “Time to go.”

Chapter 26: the sea

Notes:

prompt: the sea, rated g

it's a little mermaid au, y'all!

Chapter Text

The first thing Heather sees when she wakes up is big brown eyes and a swirl of flaming red hair. 

She doesn’t remember what happened. Memories flash through her mind like strikes of lightning. 

Waves crashing. Flames licking at the bow. Wood splintering. 

The woman begins to sing and her voice is the most beautiful thing that Heather’s ever heard. Her eyes flutter open again and the woman smiles at her but before she can speak a dog’s bark cuts her off and catches Heather’s attention.

When she looks back, the woman is gone; leaving nothing but the sparkling sea.

Chapter 27: road trip

Notes:

prompt: road trip, rated g

Chapter Text

“You ready?” 

“What? Of course I’m ready.”

“Babe, I love you. But you’ve repacked the car four times.” 

“I just want to make sure everything fits!” Heather protests. 

Rachel wraps her arms around Heather’s waist. “My parents are gonna love you, you know.” 

“I — why would you say that?” Heather pauses. “You think?” 

Rachel nods. “You already have the Brewer stamp of approval, which goes a long way.” 

“Ok.” Heather takes a deep breath. “I’m ready.” 

“Good!” Rachel grins and heads for the driver’s side. “Because I want to make every stop on the road trip snack list David made.”

Chapter 28: laughter

Notes:

prompt: laughter, rated g

Chapter Text

“Wait —” Heather chokes on her laughter while she tries to compose herself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing.” 

“No, go ahead.” Rachel covers her face with her hands. “It’s funny.” 

“I just thought you knew I owned a goat farm.” A few more giggles slip past Heather’s lips. “So when I mentioned kids —”

“Yes I thought they were human kids.” Rachel starts laughing with her. 

Heather looks down at the two stuffed bears in her arms. “They’ll still appreciate these. Might tear them apart though.” 

“Well let's go find out. Goats or not, I still want them to like me.”

Chapter 29: costume party

Notes:

prompt: costume party, rated g

Chapter Text

“Oooh, she looks mad.” Rachel snorts from behind the camera. 

“If she’s mad now, I don’t know what she’s gonna do once we set up the petting zoo.” Heather says and adjusts the mini cowboy hat on Juniper’s head. 

The goat looks frustrated and keeps trying to knock the hat off with her hoof before huffing loudly. 

“Awww, but babe.” Rachel coos and leans down so she can remove the hat from Juniper’s head. “I think she still looks like she could lasso some cattle.” 

The goat licks her chin gratefully and Heather rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Chapter 30: sunset

Notes:

prompt: sunset, rated g

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“There you are.” Rachel comes up behind her and wraps her arms around her waist. “Hiding out?” 

“It’s my birthday,” Heather says. “I can hide if I want to.”

“True.” Rachel drops a kiss onto her neck. “It’s quiet out here. Pretty too.” 

“Yeah.” Heather smiles and watches as the sun sets behind the barn, leaving a watercolor of oranges and pinks in its wake. 

“You want to go back inside?” Rachel asks. Her presence behind Heather is solid and warm, and she could live in it forever. 

Heather turns her head so she can kiss her softly. “Not yet.” 

Notes:

Thank you for reading along, friends! It was so much fun getting to spend the month with these two.

If you’re looking for more amazing wlw content, scraregenrecs on tumblr has put together a post with all of the sapphic september content! https://scraregenrecs.tumblr.com/post/661352144063135744/schitts-creek-sapphic-september-2021-round-up

Notes:

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