Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mattholomule tossed and turned while clutching his scroll under his pillow.

He is supposed to be asleep now! Why isn't he going to fall asleep?

"Because I'll have some weirdass dream about Gus and act all dumb and wimpy around him at school" he internally SCREAMED.

These feelings have been getting worse and worse. And he hates himself so much for it. 

He, Mattholomule. Has a crush.

Dammit, it's no use denying it anymore. Who has weird fluffy dreams with romantic underlying significance about their platonic friends?

Funny enough, this is one of the few actual crushes Mattholomule has ever had. So he... Has no freaking experience in handling all the first time crush feelings and emotions.

Mattholomule has tried his hardest to hide the fact he has feelings for Gus.

But obviously, it fails. 

Why did he fall specifically for Gus?

Not to mention he has a crush on the sweetest guy in existence.

Which isn't fair because he is way too nice to be friends with Mattholomule, but still is.

Mattholomule has gone through extreme lengths to not admit he has feelings for Gus. 

And by extreme, he means e x t r e m e.

Being a heavy blusher also sucks, you have to try and avoid eye contact of any sorts or else your face gives in and becomes almost as red as Amity's before she dated Luz.

Mattholomule has found himself tempted to ask Amity how she did it. But no. His stupid pride/his stupid self concious mind stops him.

Please, Mattholomule is one of those trash pixies everybody flicks aside compared to Mattholomule.

But he isn't going to admit that because:

1. He is not ready to admit he likes someone romantically.

2. It costs a lot of pride to compare oneself to a trash pixie.

Mattholomule opened his last messages with Gus and refreshes his scroll.

-------------Ag(ass)tus-----------

...

You: Haha yeah.

Ag(ass)tus: I gotta go to bed! See ya tomorrow matty!

                message sent 1 hour ago.

*********************

He snickered quietly to himself as he reread messages. Gus was not only charming, but funny.

He refreshed the scroll for a while before letting out a half asleep yawn.

A call button resided on the side of the scroll.

Sleepy and delirious, Mattholomule clicked the little call icon.

Mattholomule soon realized his mistake when a familiar voice he called answered the scroll.

"...Matt? What are you doing awake?" 

OH MY TITAN OH MY TITAN OH MY TIANSD DHDJDBDJDB.

it seems actions have consequences.

Mattholomule let out a muffled scream into his pillow before answering confidently.

"Ah! Sorry Gus! I uh.. Didn't expect you to call me!" 

Real smooth.

"...actually... I am like, pretty sure YOU are the one who called me."

ah.

F*ck.

"I knew that! I was just messing with you! Haha....ha..."  Mattholomule snickered nervously.

Mattholomule could tell Gus was probably squinting at the scroll confused as hell probably wondering what happened.

"Yeah... I don't know why I called you... I'm just tired and bored I guess.... You're fun to talk to." The brunette sighed shifting his gaze.

"Actually, there is this one question I have been meaning to ask you." Gus started before Mattholomule could impulsively hang up.

"... Mmm... Fine... But nothing too personal 'cause I am tired and emotionally vulnerable right now." Mattholomule mumbled.

"You have been acting kind of weird lately...-" Gus started off.

"... That's 'cause you make me feel weird." Mattholomule whispered to himself, forgetting he was close enough for the scroll to pick up on the sound.

"Excuse me?" Gus asked.

It took Mattholomule a second to process what he just said and considered the impulseive hang up now.

Bleh. But it would make him feel bad if Gus sas sad because he didn't get any clarification.

"Titan... I can't believe I have to explain this. You make me have these feelings I guess.. These feelings make me nervous around you and I... uh... i don't know." Mattholomule mumbled.

Gus remained quiet on the other line before squeaking

"You're scared of me? You don't have to be nervous around me Matty- we're friends right!."

Mattholomule glared into the scroll before trying to decide what to say next.

"Not that type of nervous dumbass! I-"

"You what? Just tell me already dude! You're killing me man."  Gus pleaded on the other end of the scroll.

"You know what it's not important okay?" Mattholomule fumbled with his phone trying to hang up.

"Matty! Tell me! I promise not to judge! Is it about a crush because I am good at keeping secrets and-"  Gus stubbornly insisted.

All this is too much for someone who accidentally called his best friend in the early freaking morning. 

Not to mention, Gus is being super intense.

He is at his limit.

"I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU DIPSHIT! I LIKE YOU! I THINK ABOUT YOU IN A WAY SOMEONE THINKS ABOUT A CRUSH! I SEE YOU MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND AND I...and I... I hate you." The brunette practically yelled into his phone and then panickly clicked the hang up button before Gus could react.

Mattholomule began to feel hot tears run down his cheek as he prepared to muffle himself enough with his own pillow to pass out.

Dammit. He said it.

He said he would never admit it but he just did.

How pathetic.

Bria's right. He is just a pathetic needy, clingy loser.

Gus probably hates him right now.

He blocked Gus' number on the scroll.

He is too tired to face this right now. 

Mattholomule shut off his scroll before the tears slowly comforted him to sleep.

Maybe tomorrow he will be able to face his actions.

Chapter Text

The green/brown patched monster alarm clock propped next to the young brunette's bed screamed and hopped up and down.

It apparently didn't notice it's fallen brethren who were smashed after trying to wake up the witch. It continued on howling and screeching horrendously. 

Mattholomule groaned and peeked at his scroll to check the time, he barely got a wink of sleep the night before due to him... Hoo boy... Deliriously calling Gus... And... What else?

'oh yeah... And confessing my feelings for him'. Mattholomule thought to himself. He felt a strange sour feeling prickle the inside of his mouth. 

Wait what? He confessed HIS FEELINGS LAST NIGHT???

Oh Titan's left ball- it's all rushing back. 

'SHIIIIIIIT'

'OH F*CK'... 

Mattholomule felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He decided to ignore it and folded his pillow over his head in attempt to fade away the screams that the alarm clock let ring out. 

After just wanting to ignore it's howls a few more times, Mattholomule slammed his hand on his wooden nightstand and he made a lazy rising thorn out of the wood that stabbed right through the alarm clock and it's screaming died out. 

Mattholomule smirked to himself for a second, he's been trying to perfect that spell for a while now... But now is not the time to celebrate. 

Mattholomule got out of bed after contemplating faking his death two times.... Three times... Four times. 

 He knows people who works with the tabloids so....

Nah. 

The short witch decided to head to work, and decide what else is needed later on. All he needs to do to sort himself out from panicking is avoid Gus all day long. 

School isn't until tomorrow, so he can work this out. Have a normal day, and then emotionally prepare himself to check on Gus and be fine for the inevitable emotional damage of rejection he is going to receive.

Sounds easy enough. Yeah. This could actually work. 

He opened his scroll again to check the open jobs for the week he could take. Earning snails isn't easy. And his mom and brothers need all the help they can get. 

Technically, Mattholomule shouldn't legally be allowed to have a job yet. But nobody has thrown him in prison yet for doing work for them so it hasn't turned out to be too bad after all. 

His finger drifted over Gus' contact name. It had an X symbol over it considering it blocked. 

A sense of curiosity rose inside the witch, wondering what Gus might have said back, no doubt a string of insults and something like "We're only friends, sorry :/"

Well... Who knows. 

Mattholomule sighed and headed to the bathroom to fix his hair. He brushed out his bowl cut and got out his usual casual attire. This consisted of a dark hoodie which belonged to Amorick when he was younger. Usually, the brunette hates wearing this hoodie since the band consisting on it is one only Amorick is a fan of. But today... Desperate times are needed for disguise. 

(The band being called The Disease which has it's "latest hit" [not latest at all. Amorick is old] being called "Tuesday I'm in love.)

Mattholomule checked his room to see if there is anything else he might need to make himself seem like he... Is somebody else. 

... Which sounds stupid in hind sight but it is VERY important.... To avoid Gus... The kindest.... Sweetest... Witch.. That Mattholomule totally blew off last night. 

'I told him I liked him and then said I hated him! What the hell is wrong with me!!!" 

Blah... Whatever! Emotions need to be dealt with some other time. 

Like Bria used to say "Focus on your task, not your heart. "

...F*ck Bria. 

He zipped up the hoodie tight tight tight and even decided at last minute to put his hair up in a weird man bun. Like, an attempted one at least. His hair stuck out slightly and it looked more like a tired college student. 

Last piece of this costume is sunglasses. Unfortunately, the only pair he owned had half a lense falling off. 

Mattholomule tensed, and for a brief moment thought to himself if it is really all necessary. 

"Maybe I should just unblock him?" Mattholomule wondered out loud, wondering to the Titan whom he wonders even listens to him at all.

A soft knock on his front door downstairs answered all of his questions.

Mattholomule froze in place. A tired Amorick wearing his PJs trudged downstairs. 

...

"Hey? Matty? Your friend or something is here out front- he says you guys should talk or something?"

"Who?" Mattholomule squeaked. 

"Y'know... Your only friend?" Amorick raised his voice ever so slightly.  

Mattholomule then did what any witch upstairs in his room would do to avoid his crush. 

He desperately fumbled  bravely darted out the window of his room. 

Forgetting it was directly located on top of the front door. 

He fell face to face with Augustus Porter, who came knocking on his door himself. 

"...Hello Augustus." Sheepishly mumbled Mattholomule with an uncharacteristically plastered embarassed grimace/attemped grin. 

"..." Gus stood there in shock observing Mattholomule with multiple things of question.

1. Broken (completely broken now, not just one falling lense, both lenses broke now.) glasses tipping to the side of his brown hair. 

2. A weirdly tied man bun tipping to the left side of Mattholomule's hair. 

3. His face was a mixture of turning pale and blushing red at the same time, which Gus only noticed now that the brunette's ears blushed too. 

And more, Amorick was standing between the two, in the door frame. Blinking at everything. 

"Okay you two sort sh*t this outside I'm done." Amorick grumbled at seeing his little brother sitting stupidly and miserably failing at... Whatever he was trying to do. 

He shut the door and left the two there awkwardly. 

'oh geez. What next?' Mumbled Mattholomule out loud. Met with a cough. 

"Can we... Talk?" Gus muttered. He had a weird shy expression on his face.

"...yeah sure...okay." Mattholomule nodded. 

The brunette gazed back at his house and grimaced.

"Somewhere else... I promise. " Gus chimed in a bit too eagerly. 

"Y-yeah... Fine." Mattholomule's voice cracked somewhere along saying Fine and Yeah. 

They headed towards the woods for a little chat. 

Chapter Text

Mattholomule and Gus walked side to side awkwardly. The only sounds between the two are the occasional cough, and the sounds of dirt brustlting underneath their feet. The brunette's mind churned and he shoved his hands in the pockets of the hoodie.

"So... The disease?" Gus broke the silence. Mattholomule glanced over confused for a second and then glanced down at his own hoodie. Ah yeah. That.

"Pssht. Yeah. Amorick used to be obsessed back in High school with them. This got too small for him and ended up being passed down to me. Lucky me!!! I get a band shirt of a band I barely know!" Mattholomule made exagerrated jazz hand gestures and his manbun tips over to the other side.

His sunglasses tip downwards and he fumbles to push them back up. The sunlight barely peeking from the trees. 

"Uh yeah. Cool. Cool." Gus mumbled. The taller witch seemed fidgety. Fuck... Was that too casual? Is he upset? Shit shit shit...

"... I mean The Disease isn't my personal favorite but it's neat..." Mattholomule mumbled, squeaking his voice at the end horribly. Maybe a forest would not be a bad place to bury yourself in....

"Yeah no uh... My dad likes to listen to it sometimes so I figured... Yeah." Gus quietly replied. Silence broke out between the two again. They were walking deeper into the forest.

"So... A man bun?" Gus grinned. Flicking it to the side. Mattholomule's face slowly burned red in embarassment. Right. That. 

Mattholomule fixed his hair upright and rolled his eyes as the taller witch snickered lightheartedly. "I... Listen Augustus. I was going to run away." He folded his arms in defeat as Gus raised a questioning eyebrow. 

"Woah woah woah. What?" Gus faced his entire body to stare down the brunette. He squirmed uncomfortably and looked aside. 

"Dude. I... After last night or so... Or like.. The morning? I don't know.. I just. I wasn't supposed to tell you how I felt. I.. I wasn't really there you know? I was.. Tired. Whatever came out of my mouth wasn't 100% what I meant." The words toppled out clumsily. Mattholomule didn't even pay attention to the growing disappointment in Gus' face. 

"Oh. I see. So you don't like me like that?" 

Mattholomule looked up from the ground and looked at Gus' slightly hurt face. The two stared at one another for a bit. 

"No Gus. I-" he fucked up. Again. And he will always fuck up. Titan damn it all. Mattholomule sucked in his breath and loosened himself. 

"I do. And that's the problem." Mattholomule sighed. His sunglasses tip downwards and he doesn't even fix it. 

"I can't find the right words to explain it. I never felt like this for anyone. But you're also one of my actual friends. So I- I can't... I don't know" Mattholomule took off the broken sunglasses and shoved them in his pockets. He kicks a pebble nearby. "...I just didn't want to lose my first friend by liking them... Like that." 

Gus' face softened ever so slightly and he laughed. Mattholomule frowned and scowled. The fuck is he cackling about? He just poured his heart out to this dumbass.

"Hey uh... I wanted us to go to the graveyard to talk this out better but uh... I guess here will do instead. " Gus finished laughing and sat on a wide rock. He patted the side to gesture Mattholomule to come over and sit by him.  

Mattholomule hesitated but came over and sat down. Leaving a gap wide enough for a third person to sit down. Gus gestured him to sit closer. Mattholomule scooted closer by five inches at most. 

The younger witch shrugged and laid back. Mattholomule laid back as well. The rock was hard but warm, since it was the only spot in the forest not covered by trees, giving enough sunlight for warmth.

They sat there with their eyes closed listening to the sound of the forest. Buzzing of fairies. Clicking of spiders. It felt oddly peaceful. 

"Mattholomule. You aren't losing me as a friend... And honestly that was super dramatic, coming from a drama king myself." Gus put a hand to his own chest and a hand to the sky, in a light but mocking manner. He then smiled and laughed again. 

"Also. I get it. I mean... I don't, not the way YOU do but. I sort of get how you were scared." 

Mattholomule just watched in a sort of horrified anticipation. Goosebumps running along his arms and back. His manbun tipping over his eyes as he pushes it back up quickly. 

"Anyways. I am really glad you like me like this but. I don't know if I feel the same way YET. I do like you a lot! But... Maybe give me some time? Like dating.. And.. Stuff..." Gus whispered the last part a bit, grinning now nervously. He fiddled with his hands. 

Mattholomule blinked quickly. Dates? His ears fluttered a bit and he reached over and smacked the side of his head with his hands. 

"Dates? Like I take you out and we..." Mattholomule squeaked. Not even hiding it. His eyes widened and shining slightly.

"Yeah. If we wanna... You know.. Work this out maybe it is better we start going on dates before... Uh... Yeah." Gus could barely find the right words. 

Mattholomule nodded and put his hood over his head. Flustered out of his fucking mind. His heart beating so loud he is sure the whole damn forest can hear it. 

Gus reached over for his hand. Mattholomule hesitated and took it. 

The two boys sat there standing absolutely still. Both afraid to move and ruin the moment. 

Of course, they left eventually. But for a long time. It was only them.