Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hanako didn’t understand a lot about living people, but he was pretty sure he understood this: girls have periods. Boys don’t. Growing up with no sisters had made him not completely aware of how all this stuff worked, but he figured it out. But now there was a new wrench in that carefully calculated thought process.

He was talking to Nene in the bathroom on one of their breaks (yes, the bathroom, because while he wasn’t supernatural anymore he still had a connection to the place plus it was fun and private) when Kou stumbled in, groaning. Hanako was on his feet in an instant. “What’s wrong? Did a supernatural attack you?”

“Worse.”

“What?”

“Cramps.”

“Cramps?”

Nene seemed to understand way better than Hanako did, because she made a sympathetic face. “Yeah, they’re terrible. Mine aren’t too bad, mostly, but it’s just… ugh. I hate them.”

“Wait, cramps?”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, I just want to sit in here for a few minutes before I have to go to class.”

“Why didn’t you stay home today?”

“Teru was already gone somewhere by the time I woke up and since he does the most accurate impression of Dad’s voice it would be an unexcused absence.”

“Well-”

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” Hanako snapped.

The two other teenagers looked at each other. Then back to Hanako. Finally Kou sighed resignedly and sat down on the ground. “Um… so I’m never really sure how to tell people this…”

“Well? Spit it out, boy.”

“I’m trans.”

Hanako blinked. “Um…”

“Let me guess: you don’t know exactly what that means?” After Hanako hesitantly shook his head, Kou groaned again. “Ok, so for me it means that when I was born, everyone thought I was a girl. But I’m a boy.”

“Oh.” Pause. Pause. “Ooh.” Hanako vaguely remembered hearing a conversation his parents had had when he was five or six. Tsukasa had really wanted to wear a dress to one of his friend’s birthday parties, and his mom had been mad. “He can’t do things like this! What if everyone thinks he’s one of them?”

And then there was one of his teachers, who had looked like a girl but insisted everyone call… them a boy. Hanako had been very confused about this for a little while, but his dad had explained to him that some people were just like this. He didn’t say whether those people were good or bad. Mom definitely had some opinions that she made very clear.

But it was weird. Hanako definitely thought it was weird. Because Kou was a boy, but according to him he also wasn’t? That didn’t make sense. At all. Besides, Kou was a lot of things- annoying, weird, really fun to mock- but not bad. He wasn’t capable of being bad, in any way. He was just… Kou.

The teen was staring at him nervously, occasionally looking back at Nene, who nodded and gave a thumbs up. Whenever Kou looked back at Hanako, however, she made angry faces at the former ghost. Wait…

“Yashiro, how long have you known this?”

“Um… we were talking one day. And he just… mentioned something about it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it just… wasn’t my business, to be honest.”

“Well, whatever.”

Kou frowned. “What exactly do you mean by that?”

“Ok. So. Um. I have decided that I am still going to talk to you.”

“Um…”

“I have also decided that I’m going to go read a book.” Hanako walked out of the bathroom, leaving the two other humans looking at each other in confusion. Then he ran to the library. “Tsuchigomori!” he yelled, startling several other students.

The dark-haired man sighed. “Yes, Hanako?”

“I want a book.”

“Why?”

“Don’t question me, Tsuchigomori.”

“You’re not the boss of me anymore, I don’t have to do what you say. What book is it, anyway?”

“A book about… trans.”

“Trans?”

“Trans.”

“So, I guess Minamoto finally told you?”

“Wait, did everyone know but me?”

“I doubt it. I just know because I know everything about every student at this school.”

Hanako groaned. “I don’t get it.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just… weird.”

“It’s the modern world, Hanako. It’s gonna be weird to people from the past like you. Believe it or not, the world changes when you’re in a bathroom for sixty years.”

“Can I please have the stupid book?”

That seemed to surprise the man. “You never say please.”

“Fine. Go get it for me, old man. Is that better?”

“No.” But Tsuchigomori left the desk and came back two minutes later with a pile of three or four books. “We don’t have a lot of books about this stuff, but we have this. It’s about LGBTQ stuff.”

“LGBTQ?”

Tsuchigomori sighed. “Yep. This is gonna be a pain.”

Hanako didn’t care. After all, he was pretty sure that at some point between now and that point in time when they wanted to destroy each other, he and Kou had become friends. And according to Nene, friends tried to understand each other.

So even if he still thought it was really weird and he still wasn’t sure how he felt about it, Hanako would read these stupid books.

(Nene was the only one who noticed his book selection that week. She just looked down and tried to hide the fact that she was smirking. Sometimes humans could be annoying.)

A few days later, Mitsuba was hanging out in the bathroom between classes and made a joke about how much he hated gay people. Hanako, who by then had read all the books, knew that gay people were people who liked the same gender and were kind of the same thing as trans people..

So as soon as the younger boy left, he turned to Kou and said, half-jokingly, “do you want me to kill him again?”

Kou stared. Then he snorted and started laughing hysterically. “No,” he gasped. “Don’t do that.”

“No one from our group is allowed to die,” Nene cut in. “We made this rule a long time ago, Hanako.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.”

“And?”

“I’m not going to murder the pink-haired weirdo.”

“Thank you.”

Later that day, Hanako ambushed Mitsuba in the hall.

“I’ll have you know, kid,” he said in his more threatening voice (it wasn’t as scary as it was when he was a supernatural, but it would get the job done), “that I will not have you making homophobic comments in my bathroom. Do that again and I’ll-”

“Ah! It was a joke, Crazy Knife! A joke!”

“Oh.” Hanako frowned. “Well, it wasn’t funny.”

“I didn’t mean it! It was a joke!”

“But it still wasn’t funny.”

“Did you really think I hate gay people?” Mitsuba frowned. “Ok, well, I hate certain gay people but that’s allowed because I’m gay.”

“Ah.” Wait. “You are?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know? That’s funny. You’re even more oblivious than Minamoto, apparently.”

There was a lot to unpack there, but Hanako decided to focus on the most important details. “When’d you start calling him by his real name instead of that weird nickname?”

“Um… bye.” Mitsuba ran off as fast as he could. Hanako stared after him. Yeah. Humans were weird.

A few days later, Kou was telling the story of how he and Mitsuba had almost broke Teru’s sword and he said, “and then they said that they were going to kill me if my brother killed them, and-”

“Wait a second, boy,” Hanako cut in. “I thought that you said the house was empty except for you two.”

“I did.”

“So who’s the “they” you’re talking about?”

“Mitsuba.”

“But Mitsuba’s only one- ooh.” Hanako had read about people like that in his book. “So they are the… they people?”

“He wants both he and they.”

“So… wait, what should I call Mitsuba?”

“He, they, or some combination of both.”

“Ah.” Hanako was mildly surprised. “I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“That’s fine.”

And Kou resumed telling the story. Hanako felt like he was getting much better at this whole “allyship” thing. It hadn’t been around when he was younger. Maybe that was why he had (and still had of course, three weeks wasn’t enough time to fully change the beliefs he’d had for sixty years) had all of these negative ideas in his head about people like them.

But he cared about Kou. And, when he thought about it, he cared about Mitsuba. So he was going to do his best to support them and stop thinking about how weird it was. Because it wasn’t really weird. It was just his friends.

Apparently Teru Minamoto still didn’t like Hanako. No one knows why. It’s not because he’s a supernatural, because he’s not anymore, the older student just seems to hate him for no apparent reason.

So he made Hanako’s “top ten of people I do not want to bump into in the hallway when I just want to get to class” list.

It was very awkward. The two of them just stared at each other, neither of them being sure what to say. “Um, Minamoto, I have to get to-”

“Kou told me that he told you.”

“Oh.” Hanako was pretty sure he knew what this was about.

Teru gave him that old death glare Hanako was very familiar with. “If you ever, ever, do or say anything that hurts him I will find a way to turn you back into a supernatural and then exorcise you.”

“How? What’re you gonna do, stab me again?” Wait. “Actually, please don’t. That would kill me.”

“This is your only warning, Hanako.” Teru pushed past Hanako and kept walking towards wherever his next class was. Yeah, that guy was still terrifying. Plus he brought a sword to school. How was he allowed to just carry a huge sword around with him at a school?

When Hanako told Kou this story later that afternoon, the boy just laughed. “Yeah, he’s always been kinda protective, in his own special way. I’ll talk to him about it.”

Nothing happened for the next few days, which Hanako was immensely grateful for. Then he spotted the oldest Minamoto refusing yet another girl, saying something vague about having someone else he liked. Being the well-educated-in-the-ways-of-the-queer person that he was, Hanako instantly thought to himself, “that seems like the sort of thing a gay person would do.”

Kou blinked when Hanako walked into the bathroom and instantly went, “is your brother gay?”

“Um… no? Not that I know of? Why?”

“Because he always refuses the girls who try to talk to him.”

“He refuses the guys to,” Nene helpfully added, with a slightly bitter sigh. She’d only recently started getting over her crush, which made Hanako’s daily interactions with her slightly less amusing, but also slightly less annoying and depressing when she kept talking about how Hanako would never be her type and that she would always love Minamoto and that wasn’t really relevant right at that second. He didn’t really like her like that anymore, but it was still kind of hurtful to hear.

Hanako decided to just forget it and go back to trying to avoid Teru’s presence, but the next day Kou waltzed into the bathroom smiling widely and said, “Ok, so I told Teru that you were wondering about whether he was gay and he said no but he’s acearo.”

The former ghost choked on empty air. Once he was done hacking (one of the more annoying things about being alive), he said in a raspy voice, “You told him that I asked?”

“Yeah, of course I did! The best way to deal with any question is to just ask it, right?”

“Boy, your brother is going to murder me!”

“No, he won’t! He would never kill anyone!”

“Why do you think I didn’t ask in the first place?”

“Well, y’know… it’s kinda rude to just walk up to someone you’re not really close to and go, ‘hey, are you gay?’.”

“It is?”

“Yes, idiot!”

“Oh. Well. Um, anyway, acearo? What does that mean?”

“Asexual aromantic.”

‘Ooh, you just used words longer than two syllables! I’m so proud.”

“Don’t make me electrocute you, Hanako!”

Hanako laughed. Even if he wasn’t a supernatural he could still fight off Kou, easy. Though he probably shouldn’t be making that much fun of him right now. He’d do more later “That means… um… give me a second, I read about this... oh! People who don’t want to date people!”

“Uh… kinda. Sorta? More or less? It’s a little more complicated than that-”

But Hanako had already moved on. “Anyway, did he say why he tried to beat me up yesterday?”

“He said it was because you’re a ghost from the sixties., and people from the sixties are notoriously weird about stuff like that.”

“Are people in this year any better?” Nene said quietly. “I mean, you hear about all this stuff on the news…”

“Yeah, it’s terrifying.”

Both of the people looked down at the ground. Hanako just watched them. They were stupid if they thought he’d ever let anything happen to them.

“Did you know about Pluto?”

“What do you mean, Hanako?”

“It’s not a planet anymore!”

“Well, it still kind of is…”

“Don’t start this with me again, Yashiro!” Kou snapped, looking almost genuinely angry. “Pluto is obviously not a planet!”

“Well, what is it then?”

“A big hunk of rocks!”

“That’s what a planet is!”

Hanako grinned slightly. It was really easy to get those two off topic, especially when the topic was something neither of them liked thinking about.

“Amane!” Tsukasa jumped off of the table he was perched on and ran to Hanako’s side, hugging him tightly. “How are you? How was your day at school?”

“It was fine. How was your day hiding in the library?”

“Good! Sakura came to visit me. They're sooo nice.”

“I was getting a book from the library, Tsukasa,” the green haired girl called from where she was sitting. “I don’t wanna visit you.”

“They’re sooo nice!”

Despite himself, Hanako laughed slightly. Then his brain caught up to Tsukasa’a words. He was quite proud of himself for not gasping. “So… um…”

“So, um, what? C’mon, Amane, let’s play!”

“What… um… what pronouns does Sakura use?”

“I like they. I’m non binary. Now, will you two please go away?” The person flipped another page of their book with disinterest.

Tsukasa pouted. “Fi-ine. C’mon, Amane, let’s go to the library.” The younger boy pulled Hanako out of the broadcasting club and into the somewhat deserted hallway. Once they’d reached the library, Hanako asked the question that had been on his mind for a long time.

“Are you a boy?”

“Probably.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t care about stuff like that! I just wanna do whatever makes me happy. Sometimes that’s looking like a boy, sometimes that’s looking like a girl. I’m me. But yeah, I guess I’m fine with being a boy for today. I’ll tell you if I change my mind. Are you a boy?”

“Yes.” Hanako was pretty sure of that, at least. He was straight and a boy. “I’m glad you told me.”

“So am I! Sakura helped me figure it out. And they also helped Mitsuba. They’re very good at this stuff. None of us have told Natsuhiko yet. I don’t think he likes people like us very much.” Tsukasa’s face fell for a second, then he perked back out. “But I’m sure he’ll figure it out!”

“I’m glad. And if he bothers you, let me know, ok?” Of course Tsukasa could take care of himself. But Hanako wanted to make up for what he did when they were younger. He would never let anyone hurt his little brother again.

“Ok! Now can we play?”

“Yeah, we just gotta do it quietly so the emo spider doesn’t notice us and yell at us. You know he hates it when we play tag in here.”

“Ok!”

(Obviously the grumpy librarian noticed and yelled at them, but not that much. They literally lived in the library together, he should be used to them by now.)

“Yashiro, I’m confused about something.”

“What is it?”

Hanako and his former assistant were sitting on the bathroom floor, chatting about whatever popped into their heads. Kou was off somewhere doing something, which was part of the question Hanako had. “Can you be gay and trans at the same time?”

The girl blinked. Then she giggled. “Is this about what I think it’s about?”

“Well, see, I’ve seen the kid and Mitsuba and they’re just wandering around talking and looking like they really want to hold hands but Minamoto is trans and Mitsuba is… well, more of a boy than a girl, so I was wondering-”

“Yeah, they can be. I’m not really an expert on stuff like that, though. But I don’t think Minamoto’s gay. I think he likes girls too, but you’d need to talk to him about it.” Just for a second, Nene looked sad and thoughtful. Then she took a deep breath. “I have something I need to talk to you about.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m bi.”

“That’s the, um… liking both genders thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok.” Hanako smiled at her- the first friend he could remember having. She was one of the most important people in his life and while he didn’t want to date her, he still cared about her a lot. She had linked to his humanity and had brought him back to life, he’d caused the Severence (which was really a stupid idea, he could acknowledge that now) to protect her. He loved her, and her sexuality didn’t change that. “I’m happy you told me. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So, any particular people you’ve got your eye on?”

“Um…”

“Ooh…”

“Aoi.”

“Aoi?”

“I know that we’re best friends and that’s part of the reason why it’s so awkward but whenever I look at her I feel really funny and happy and I just really like her, so it’s kinda weird.”

“Well, I guess she is pretty.” After thinking about it for a second, Hanako continued with, “I guess she’s better than Minamoto. And you seem to be handling this crush better.”

“Be quiet, Hanako!”

They sat there, in the place where everything had started, talking. Hanako had started storing pads and tampons under the sink for both his friends now, but other than that it was essentially the same as it had been for sixty years.

Except everything was different. Because Hanako had a real home. He had his brother back. And he had friends. And he’d do whatever he had to do to support them and make them feel safe. It would be hard, he was sure it would. He understood that much from the three books he’d read. It was hard for them, and he knew that it would be hard for him to fully get over all the stuff his mom had taught him.

But for now, all the people he cared about were safe and happy. And that was what mattered.

God, turning into a human had turned him into a cliche.

He didn’t mind that much.