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Chapter Text

"Up and at 'em, sire!" Merlin announced loudly as he yanked open the curtains. Arthur groaned at the sudden sun, rolling over and rubbing his eyes.

"Whah for?" he said. Merlin snorted. The prince never realized how stupid he sounded in the morning.

"A bath."

"Where's breakfast?"

"Say ah."

With glee Merlin shoved the prince's morning muffin into his mouth, trying to muffle his laughs as Arthur choked and sat up.

"Merlin!" He sounded angry. Merlin couldn't help it, he burst out laughing, doubling over. Arthur just looked so ridiculous! Barely awake, crumbs running down his upper half, and a very confused look on his face, Merlin had to shake his head as he stepped forward to wrap his arms around the man's neck.

Kissing his confused prince's forehead he said, "Just teasing, sire."

"I'll show you teasing!"

That was all the warning Merlin got before he was being pulled into the bed with Arthur wrestling him, poking and tickling at the smaller man.

Merlin could not stop laughing for the life of him.

"Arthur! Stop! Come on, we must get you dressed!"

Merlin was ready with a new joke about how his lazy royal arse needed to get up, but it immediately died in his throat as Arthur grabbed Merlin's arms, holding them above his head. Arthur grinned down at Merlin, who was effectively pinned underneath the stronger man.

"Do I not get a good morning kiss?"

Merlin gulped at Arthur's voice. Unfair it had to be so rough in the morning. And it was extremely unfair that Arthur had the advantage to lean down so slowly towards Merlin's lips. And it was absolutely torture that just as Merlin leaned up to meet his lips, Arthur pulled away.

Merlin blinked, immobile for a moment, before he sat up. Arthur had gotten out of bed and was pulling on his shirt, walking away from Merlin.

"What was that for?!" Merlin said.

Arthur looked over his shoulder at Merlin and grinned.

"Really, Merlin, we don't have time for games. After all, I need to get dressed." Arthur ducked at the pillow Merlin chucked at him.

Several swears and launched pieces of furniture later, Merlin was trailing behind Arthur as they headed down to the training field. Merlin walked with a little bounce in his step; the sun shone brightly today, and he was looking forward to enjoying the weather while Arthur trained.

Arthur was talking at Merlin as they walked, but Merlin was only barely listening.

"-and you'll need to make sure that my mace is properly oiled, I need it in top shape for today. Oh, you can also make sure the targets are repaired." Merlin nodded to show he was listening as he hummed to himself.

"-I need you to polish my armor, I won't need it today... also get us some more bolts, will you? Then water the horses, we'll need them ready for this afternoon. And pack a basket of food and blankets."

At this Merlin tuned in to Arthur's ramblings.

"Wait, what do we need food and blankets for?" he said, cutting off Arthur who was most likely about to list off more chores.

They stopped in the middle of the empty hallway. Arthur frowned at him.

"For our lunch today, Merlin. Really, you need to pay attention when people are talking." Arthur moved to start walking again, but Merlin grabbed his arm, still feeling confused.

"What do you mean, our lunch?" he said, feeling stupid as Arthur rolled his eyes at him.

"Merlin! I swear, you pay attention to nothing! I said a while ago I planned on taking you out, did I not?"

It was Merlin's turn to frown as he struggled to remember. Slowly, he nodded.

"Well, I'm taking you out, Merlin. It's about time we had some time to ourselves."

At that Arthur snorted and walked off, leaving Merlin looking dumbfounded, and for the second time this morning, completely frozen.

After a few moments, Merlin shook himself out of it and jogged to catch up with Arthur.

As the knights trained, Merlin sat back in the grass to watch, his legs stretched out in front of him. It was such a nice day…

He pitied Sir Gabriel, a young lad who had just joined the knights and was currently being beaten by Arthur. He winced as Arthur landed a particularly nasty blow to the boy's back, sending him tumbling.

"That has got to hurt," Merlin said, mostly to himself.

"Yes, well, I think the prince has someone to show off for."

Merlin startled, looking up at Leon, who was drinking from his waterskin.

"I don't think I know what you mean," Merlin said. Leon raised his eyebrows at that.

"Oh, I think you do."

Merlin couldn't help the heat rising to his cheeks as he looked down at the grass, trying to hide his smile. He felt a clap on his shoulder and looked up again at Leon who was grinning at him.

"Don't worry, Merlin, I won't tell a soul," Leon said.

Merlin smiled, nodding at him, before the knight moved back on to the field. Merlin picked at the grass, lost in thought.

Were they really so obvious? He hoped not. While he, of course, enjoyed Arthur's company, they couldn't risk anything that would jeopardize Arthur's right to the kingdom. While Leon's words were sincere, Merlin was worried. If the knight could figure it out, who was to say any one else would?

"Merlin, you alright?"

Merlin was pulled out of his thoughts and looked up at Arthur standing above him.

"Yes, sire, just thinking," he said, standing up and dusting off his pants to follow Arthur back towards the castle.

Arthur snorted at him, casually slinging an arm over Merlin's shoulder.

"You thinking? What's that like?"

Merlin gave a quick smile, but it didn't feel sincere. Normally their banter cheered him up and gave him a sense of normality. But he was realizing now that maybe... this, their new relationship, was going to change that normality. He hoped Arthur wouldn't notice his discomfort.

He didn't. Or at least Merlin didn't notice the looks Arthur was sending him. The prince could be unaware of others feelings, but he was more in-tune with his manservant than he let on.

They were quiet the entire way up to the castle, departing with a quick smile as Arthur left Merlin at Gauis's door. With a sigh, Merlin pushed the door open and stepped inside, hoping to find some normality, some stability, in his one true home.

"Lunch? With Arthur?" Gauis was staring at Merlin, his bushy brows raised even higher than usual. Merlin was trying to avoid his gaze.

"Yeah I suppose," he said, trying to brush it off by shoving some berries in his mouth.

"Well then who is going to help me attend to Lady Grindwelda? She has been having the most awful case of morning sickness I've ever seen!"

Merlin bit his lip. He did feel a bit bad, but then again, when was he ever supposed to spend time with Arthur? Although he supposed Gauis didn't know that.

"I'm sorry, Gauis," he started, "Arthur was insistent on having a hunt, you know what he's like when his mind's set."

"I most certainly do," Gauis said. "And it certainly seems like his heart is set on you as well."

Merlin fumbled the bowl of berries he had been holding.

He whirled around to face a very annoyed Gauis.

"What ever do you mean?!" he sputtered. Gauis crossed his arms.

"Merlin, do you really think I'm that blind? You two have been dancing around each other for ages! Just because you've finally admitted your feelings doesn't mean you get to slack off work."

Merlin's mouth was gaping open as Gauis shook his head, moving to his counter to start packing his medicine bag.

"I didn't know you knew," Merlin said. He side stepped around the spoiled fruit to stand next to Gauis's side. Looking down at his feet he asked, "Are you ashamed?"

"Merlin!"

Merlin's head shot up to look at Gaius's wide eyes.

"Of course I'm not!" the old man said. "Whatever gave you that idea?!"

Merlin shrugged looking down to pick at the wooden table.

"I dunno," he said. His voice felt quiet, even to himself. "I suppose I thought you'd think it was unnatural."

"Merlin."

Merlin didn't look up this time, blinking hard. He felt firm hands on his shoulder pull him in. Gauis held the boy, patting his head.

"I couldn't think of anything more natural than the pair of you."

Merlin blinked hard again, raising his own hands to hug Gauis back.

"Thanks, Gauis," he said. He felt shaky, and gripped his guardian a little tighter. Gauis just held him. Merlin hadn't realized how much tension he had been holding from keeping this from him.

"Now you better get going."

Merlin pulled back. His voice was rather watery as he said, "What?"

Gauis gave him a smile.

"You don't want to keep Arthur waiting, now do you?"

Merlin frowned.

"What about Lady Grindwelda?" he asked. Gauis waved his hand.

"Ah, I can handle it myself," he said. "I doubt you have much time to spend with Arthur. Best enjoy your time together."

Merlin's frown shifted into a wide grin. He hugged the physician again, as tightly as he could, before pulling away and saying, "THank you, Gauis."

Gauis pat his shoulder.

"Anything for you, my boy."

Merlin was running down the hallway. Of course he was late. When wasn't he late?! He had spent more time than necessary double checking that his hair looked alright. And he had spent several minutes bargaining with one of the servants from the kitchen to nick some food for him. He had been practically sprinting from the kitchen as he heard the cook approaching. That old crone always seemed to have it out for him...

Rounding the corner, he was moving way too fast to stop himself from running straight into the arms of, well... it was Arthur.

And Merlin promptly went on to trip and fall over his own feet.

But strong arms grabbed on to him before he hit the floor. His face beet-red, Merlin tried to not make eye contact with a very bemused Arthur, who was still holding Merlin's arm with one hand, and had the other place on the small of Merlin's back.

"Alright there, Merlin?" the prince asked, his eyebrows raised. Merlin tried to avoid those teasing eyes and that cocky smile. That smile really could do wonders...

"So you've finally chosen to go mute today, lovely." Arthur said. Merlin shook his head to clear it. He hadn't even noticed Arthur was pulling him down the corridor, and down the palace steps.

"I-wait, what?" he said. Arthur snorted, and Merlin yanked away, gripping his basket full of food. He shook his head again. He had to clear it and focus on walking. He had to focus on walking and not focus on the lovely way Arthur's pant fit oh so snuggly. No, he certainly wasn't focused on that. And he most definitely was not paying attention to the way Arthur's shirt was rolled up to show off his arms. Blushing, Merlin looked down to stare at the cobblestone. Best to just focus on walking. There would be time for sneaking looks later on their first official date.

Chapter Text

They had been on a horse for nearly an hour. Merlin was grumbling at this point, muttering distasteful things about the prince under his breath.

"And where in the devil are we going?" he said, calling to Arthur who was a few paces ahead. Arthur seemed to not hear him. Merlin's temper was starting to rise.

"Hey! Blockhead! Where are you taking me?" he shouted.

That got Arthur's attention. He looked over his shoulder to Merlin, still grinning like he found his manservant's frustration very funny. That did not help Merlin's anger.

"All in good time, Merlin!" he said, facing forward. "Nearly there!"

Merlin rolled his eyes and was about to say something rather rude about what he’d do to Arthur in good time, but he was stopped as they rounded the corner.

Merlin could have sworn he stopped breathing, he’d never seen anything so beautiful.

They had come across a beautiful clearing, tucked off the path and surrounded by luscious trees and moss. Golden sunlight shone through the leaves and bounced off the rapids of a little creek that trickled slowly. On the bank of said creek, little white flowers were just starting to bloom, poking out and reaching their petals towards the light. Everything was golden light and tranquility. Absolutely beautiful. No sound, except for that of the creek, pierced this little piece of heaven.

“Do you like it?”

Merlin had to take a moment before he could speak. It was taking him a moment to get his magic under control; it was absolutely soaring with energy.

“It’s beautiful, Arthur,” he finally said. He was trying to keep his voice casual, but some of his emotion must have been leaking through because he turned to see Arthur giving him the softest of smiles. Merlin had seen that smile only one other time; when Arthur first kissed him.

Their horses slowed from their trot to a slow stroll as they came to the center of the clearing. Coming to a stop, Merlin continued to stare in wonder as Arthur dismounted and walked round to Merlin’s horse.

“Merlin?”

Merlin looked down at Arthur’s outreached hand. Merlin’s breath caught in his throat.

“Well, it’s nice to have the roles reversed for once, sire,” Merlin joked as he took Arthur’s hand and slid off the horse.

Immediately Arthur pulled him round the waist into a deep kiss.

Merlin’s next joke died in his mouth as he kissed back, making a small noise and snaking his hands up and around Arthur’s neck.

A tongue licked at Merlin’s lips and he eagerly widened his mouth to let it in.

It was only a few seconds of passion, but both men pulled away breathing heavily, foreheads pressed together.

“Gods, it feels good to finally do that,” Arthur breathed, tickling the hair on Merlin’s forehead. Merlin chuckled at the sensation opening his eyes to grin at Arthur, who was grinning back at him in that adorably stupid way Merlin loved. Merlin's own grin widened.

Pressing one final kiss to Merlin’s forehead, Arthur moved away towards the bank of the creek.

“You brought some food and blankets, didn’t you?” he called, finding a spot he deemed suitable. He didn’t seem aware of the raised brows shot his way as he continued. “Set them up here.” He waved his hand carelessly.

Merlin shook his head, his smile only widening.

“What, so one second you can snog me and then next you’re back to ordering around?” he said, removing the basket he brought from the saddle's straps. He carefully leapt over the creek to join Arthur on the bank.

“This is how these things work, Merlin,” said Arthur, hands on hips as he stood all tall and proud. Merlin rolled his eyes, squatting down to roll out the thin quilt he brought.

“Is it now, sire?” he said, smoothing out the creases.

“Yes it tis,” Arthur said. “You see, Merlin,” he continued waving his hand as though he was giving some fancy speech, “When you are of low ranking like yourself, it is quite to privilege to serve nobility such as myself, much less snog me, so really, Merlin, you should count yourself quite lucky-WOAH!”

Knees buckling, Arthur fell backwards, while Merlin was doubled over, cackling with laughter. By sitting at his prince’s feet, it only seemed appropriate to kick at the backs of his royal shins. It was a privilege to kick the prince, after all, was it not?

“Merlin!” Arthur was scrambling to sit up, but Merlin was too quick, swinging his long legs to straddle his prince. He grinned down at Arthur, who’s mouth had yet to close. Then he smirked, shaking his head and lying back.

“I suppose you are more clever than I give you credit for,” he said, lazily bringing his arms under his head and staring up at Merlin. Merlin shrugged at the words, rolling off to lay at his prince’s side.

“I’m rather witty, I’ll have you know,” he said, speaking more towards the trees than to Arthur as he casually let his hand rest next to Arthur’s.

He heard Arthur chuckle and felt him wrap their fingers together.

“Yes, I am well aware. I’ve been on the receiving end of your insults.”

“My insults?! Your idea of a pet name is ‘clumsy idiot’!”

“Well you always respond, and quite frankly, Merlin, you are a clumsy idiot.”

“Well, you’re a lazy… wormwart!”

“A what?!”

“You heard me.”

With that they fell into a peaceful silence. Both men simply stared up at the moss-covered trees, entranced by the light. Merlin tried to keep his heart steady when Arthur began rubbing little circles into Merlin's hand with his thumb. A bird chirped in the distance, and the brook babbled on.

Merlin turned his head to the side only to find Arthur staring at him.

"Hello," Merlin whispered. Arthur smiled.

"Hello yourself."

For a moment then just grinned at each other like giddy young children. Then there was a hand reaching to stroke Merlin's jaw.

"For all the times I call you a fool, I hope you know I do find you quite beautiful, Merlin."

Merlin couldn't stop himself from blushing, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Really?"

"Well yes, what you lack in intelligence you make up for in beauty."

Merlin snorted. Arthur grinned. Then he was leaning in, and Merlin lost track of all time.

"Sir Michael."

"No."

"Sir Bartholomew?"

"Hah! No, but he sure wishes."

"Gwaine?"

"Oh my gods most definitely."

"Cook Cynthia?"

"What? Gods no, she has a name?"

Arthur scratched his head in thought. Merlin chuckled to himself, nibbling at some cheese. He almost spat it all out when Arthur's brows creased up and his lip stuck out, he looked like a pouty child!

"What?" Arthur said indignantly as Merlin struggled to not choke on his food, his eyes watery with laughter.

"It-it's just that," Merlin wheezed, "You look like your head was about to exploded! I didn't know thinking was so strenuous on your big head, my lord."

Merlin had another coughing fit as Arthur chucked a piece of bread at his head.

"But seriously," Arthur said, sitting up to scoot closer to Merlin. "You would lay with Gwaine, given the chance?"

"What, like you wouldn't?"

"Fair point."

Merlin gave one last good hack, clearing his throat. He was suddenly nervous.

"I do actually need to know one thing," he started. Arthur's wandering gaze snapped to Merlin's immediately, noticing the change of tone. Merlin looked down at his lap. He didn't mean to make it all serious, but he had to know...

"Do you still have feelings for Gwen?" he finally blurted out, looking up at Arthur with wide eyes. Arthur's brows shot up and it was his turn to sputter.

"What?!" he said. "Why would you ask that?"

Merlin was taken aback.

"Oh, I don't know... maybe I just want to make sure I'm not just some bed warmer of the prince?" he said, pursing his lips and looking away from Arthur.

"Oh... yes, yes, of course you're right... ah, sorry, I just wasn't expecting to talk about this."

Arthur's voice sounded apologetic, so Merlin turned to look at him again. The prince was fussing, running a hand through his hair, eyes darting back and forth. Merlin waited.

"Okay... yes. Yes, okay, okay," Arthur said, mostly to himself, taking a deep breath and stilling. His ocean eyes locked with Merlin's electric ones.

"So," he started slowly. "Guienevere and I... as you know, had a bit of a... well, I guess you could call it a connection. I will not deny she is a wonderful lady." Arthur smiled to himself.

"After the tournament and I left her home we would have these... little moments where I thought something might happen. I think she did too.

"But things changed after Lancelot..." Arthur began to trail off, his eyes going a bit blank.

"Arthur," Merlin said quietly, placing a hand on Arthur's knee. Arthur startled at the touch, shaking his head.

"Sorry," he said, laying his own hand a top of Merlin's. "It's... still a bit difficult to think about. But after we rescued them from Hengist and Lancelot left, I couldn't continue on entertaining that idea of me and Guinevere." He shrugged. "I suppose I didn't want to be the person Gwen settled for. She deserves to be with the one she loves fully." Arthur paused for a moment before speaking next.

"I don't want to be second in the heart of the one I love."

The clearing was filled with silence for several minutes as Merlin sat in stunned silence. He couldn't take his eyes off the man in front of him, who had always seemed so strong and sturdy, as though nothing could hurt him. And every so often, he had proved to be a lover, a giver, someone who cared.

But right now, all Merlin could see was that Arthur needed to be loved. He was just as human as Merlin, just as vulnerable and needing care as him.

"Oh, Arthur," Merlin whispered, pulling the man into his own arms. He held the prince's back and stroked his neck, trying to convey just how precious the prince was to him.

"You are my everything," he said into Arthur's hair. "I will do anything just to see you smile, just to see you achieve all your heart's desires. There is no room in my heart for another."

"Not even Gwaine?"

Merlin chuckled.

"No, my love, not even Gwaine."

Arthur pulled away to reveal his face from where it had been burrowed in Merlin's neck. Merlin, being ever so considerate, cast his gaze around towards some passing dragonflies as Arthur furiously wiped his eyes.

"So," Arthur said. Merlin looked back at him, cocking his head to the side.

"So," he repeated.

"I am your one love then?"

Merlin had to laugh. The noise bounced around the clearing as he let out his mirth. Shaking his head he leant over the side of the blanket to reach a growing bloom. Picking it to twirl in his fingers, he beamed at Arthur.

"Of course you are, Arthur. It's always been you."

For one of the first times ever, Merlin witnessed the noble Prince Arthur blush as he tucked the flower behind his lover’s ear.

"I'm not a girl," he protested, but his red ears and cheeky smile gave him away.

"I am well aware of that, sire," said Merlin as he cupped a hand under the prince's chin to pull those devine lips on to his own.

Arthur hummed a pleasant sound at the kiss, letting his own hand rest on Merlin's thigh as they let all their inhibitions go.

There was no worry here in the meadow. Here, there was no rush, no franticness or fear of being interrupted. Both men could simply enjoy each soft touch, drinking up the affections of the other.

All around them, the world swooned in color. The little river seemed to glint just a bit more, and the grass looked even greener. The flowers seemed to lean towards the embracing lovers like magic.

It was all like a dream. Here, they were safe. Here, they were-

"ARTHUR!"

So screwed was what they were.

Chapter Text

Arthur was being pulled along the corridor by his father, who had a tight grip on his collar. His mind was unable to process what was happening. One minute, he and Merlin had been kissing, the next, his father and Morgana were there on horseback, and his father was pulling Merlin from him. Arthur had watched in numb horror as Merlin had practically been dragged to the castle, pulled by two guards, each with a death grip on each of his arms. Arthur had seen the look of terror on Merlin's face, and he ached to run after him to pull him safe into his arms. But his father had seized the collar of his vest and had led Arthur in the opposite direction, away from his Merlin.

Now following his silent father throughout the castle, Arthur couldn't seem to stop his stomach from flipping upside down every few moments. He heard his father swear under his breath once or twice, each time sending Arthur's stomach rolling again.

Trying to block out all thoughts of doom in his head, Arthur tried to focus on his father's back, counting each of the jewels that studded the king's royal cape, all velvety and purple.

One, two, three... did his father hate him? Would he send Arthur away? Six, seven, eight... would he send Merlin away? Twelve, thirteen... oh gods, would he have Merlin executed? Twenty, twenty-one... This is all my fault, Arthur thought to himself, staring down at the floor as the doors to the council chambers shut behind him, leaving him and his father alone.

The room was vast, too vast. The silence seemed to have the ability to echo.

"Arthur." His father was angry.

Arthur kept his eyes fixed on his boots. He really needed Merlin to clean them...

"Arthur!"

Then again, who knew if Merlin would be around long enough to clean them? Arthur supposed he could ask another servant...

"Arthur, for gods sake, would you look at me?!"

Arthur couldn't go on ignoring him. Slowly, he raised his head, meeting his father's eyes. The king looked... eerily calm. Arthur was confused, but then he noticed the vein twitching on his father's temple. He looked away, and his father snapped.

"What on earth is the matter with you?!" he said, moving to get right up in Arthur's space. "What do you think you were doing?!" Arthur winced, but refused to look at his father, nor did he say anything.

He heard his father sigh as he backed off, moving away to lean with one arm on his throne. Arthur sneaked a look to see the man pinch the bridge of his nose.

"I can't say I'm all that surprised, you were always weak as a child, had a soft spot."

Arthur was dumbfounded.

"I-what?" he croaked. He was embarrassed to admit that tears had begun to rise in his eyes.

"I'm disappointed, Arthur."

The tears that stung Arthur's eyes were nothing in comparison to the words that stung his heart.

"I'm sorry, Father," he said. "I'm so sorry!" He rushed over to his father to grab his arm, but the king yanked himself away, his face that of utter disgust. Arthur couldn't stop the tears that were beginning to spill over. Gods, maybe he really was weak.

"Just tell me, Arthur," Uther said, placing his hands on Arthur's shoulders. Arthur winced as they gripped, shaking him slightly. "Why? What did I do wrong? What drove you to this madness?"

Arthur had to swallow hard at that. The lump in his throat was becoming harder and harder to ignore, and Arthur feared that if he let it, he wouldn't be able to stop the sob that was building up in his chest from coming out. He felt as though he was being clawed out from the inside.

"I..." he started. His father stared at him, eyes wide and wild. Searching for an answer. Arthur's eyes fell shut as he tried to gather himself. He couldn't fall apart, he just couldn't. He had to stay strong, for his father, for the kingdom, for Merlin...

Merlin. As the image of his manservant swam to the front of his mind, Arthur opened his eyes to look at his father, mind set.

"It was a foolish game," he said, carefully keeping his voice level. "Nothing more. Some ridiculous idea someone in the tavern mentioned. I suppose I wished to experiment, and I trusted Merlin."

It was hard to not let his voice falter, but Arthur stayed on course, staring intensely at his father, who had taken his hands off of Arthur to place them on his hips and pace back and forth. Back and forth.

Arthur bit his lip when the king's back was turned. It felt wrong to lie. His heart ached at it. It felt so unnatural to lie, to go against himself when his own instincts craved to scream out to the world just how much he loved that idiot. His idiot. His Merlin. Who was currently in a dungeon facing who-knows-what for Arthur's carelessness. No, he had to protect his Merlin, even if he had to hide the fact that he would go to the ends of the earth for that man.

He stared, trying to keep a neutral face as his father let out a nervous laugh.

"Well, I suppose it is only... natural to be curious about such things." He paused, looking at Arthur, his face serious again. Arthur straightened his back, lifting his chin.

"But, Arthur, if this is ever to happen again, I will be forced to not only reevaluate your readiness for the throne, I will have to have that... boy hanged." Uther's voice was dripping with menace as he mentioned Merlin, and it took all of Arthur's willpower to not launch himself at his own father.

Instead, he said, "You're not going to punish Merlin?"

His father's eyes narrowed, his face going all sharp.

"I did not say that," he said. "There will be consequences."

Arthur's heart sunk to the floor straight down to the earth. At least his father hadn't decided to kill his manservant, right?

"What are you going to do to him?"

Uther had turned away to stare out the window. Arthur couldn't see his face as the king spoke.

"He is to be removed from your service effective immediately."

Arthur was speaking before he could think.

"No! Father you can't-"

"I can and I will!"

There was a ringing silence as both men breathed hard, each staring at the other with eyes of fury. Uther was the first to speak.

"Did you... like it?" he practically spat, his mouth twisting like he tasted something sour. He stared at Arthur, waiting for an answer. Arthur's angry pants slowed as he let his breath leave him in defeat, dropping his head to the floor.

"No, Father."

"Just... a foolish mistake."

"Yes, Father."

"Swear it."

Arthur's head shot up.

"What?" he said. Uther shut his eyes, breathing hard through his nose.

"I said, swear it," he said through clenched teeth. "Swear it will never happen again."

Arthur felt like his soul was drowning, but he had to do this. For Merlin.

"I swear it will never happen again, Father. I can promise you that."

"Then get out of my sight."

Moving as though in a trance, Arthur turned, his feet carrying him to the great doors of the council chambers. Stopping at it, he raised a hand, transfixed on the carving. It was here he had finally realized who his heart beat for. Merlin.

"Don't ever disappoint me again."

Face hardening, Arthur pushed the doors open, striding out and towards the lower floors where the dungeons were held. Where his Merlin was.

The smaller man looked up from his knees where he had tucked his face out of sight. Arthur tried to keep a blank expression when he saw Merlin's face light up in relief. He had no idea of his fate, and yet he could still smile just for Arthur.

Helping Merlin to his feet, Arthur avoided his gaze as they exited the cells and started walking towards the end of the dungeon. Merlin trotted behind him, as if nothing was out of the ordinary, as if his own life had not just been threatened.

"Arthur?"

Arthur almost jumped as Merlin suddenly spoke, but he did not turn to look at the man, nor did he stop his pace. If anything, he sped up.

"Arthur, what happened?" Merlin asked again, making a grab for Arthur's arm. Arthur jumped again, gaze flickering up and down the hallway.

"Not here," he hissed. Merlin withdrew his hand, his face expressing his hurt. Arthur normally would have dwelt on his guilt, but right now all he wanted was to be locked away in his chambers, alone with Merlin. Where they were safe. Where they were comfortable, and knew how to be around each other.

Arthur headed off again, ignoring the sigh behind him. He felt grateful for the sound of soft boots following him.

Locking the doors behind them, Arthur had to pause a moment, leaning his forehead on the hard wood. He breathed. In through the nose, out through the mouth... in through the nose, out through the mouth... He could feel Merlin's worried gaze on his back.

Straightening up, Arthur brushed past the smaller man to move to the window, staring into the blinding light. It always was so bright at midday.

Something inside of him broke, and Arthur couldn't help a strangled sob escape his throat. He clamped a hand over his mouth, biting his lip as he tried to keep the tears from falling.

He could feel Merlin moving to his side, but Arthur turned away, shaking his head.

"I can't," he said. "I can't, Merlin..."

"What?" Merlin whispered, placing a hand on Arthur's jaw to gently turn his face. Arthur tried to not completely lose it as those blue eyes stared full of concern at Arthur. He was foolish to think that he could let himself go, and that he could have this man.

"What can't you do, Arthur?"

Arthur's eyes fell shut, he dropped his hand from his mouth to take a deep breath.

"It's just... my father..."

Merlin nodded knowingly, urging Arthur on.

"He... will not punish you," Arthur said, noting that Merlin gave no sign of relief. The man was still worried about something.

"What else did he say?"

"What do you mean, 'what else'?"

"By gods, Arthur, I mean did he hurt you?"

Arthur looked to the side out the window, hearing the other man sigh. He gave a shrug, whispering more to himself than to Merlin, "Does it really matter?"

"Damn it, Arthur!"

Arthur jumped as Merlin slammed his fists on the prince's desk right beside him. He turned to stare at his manservant in shock. Merlin was shaking, clenching his fists so tightly to find some stabilization.

"Arthur, it all matters! Whatever he said, it is not true. You doubt yourself enough as it is, do not listen to him!"

Merlin was speaking towards the table as he tried to keep his anger under control. Arthur knew Merlin cared, but... he had to be strong. For both of them. He crossed his arms, forcing the words he knew he had to say to the front of his mouth.

"You will show some respect for your king."

Merlin's head shot up from where he was leaning, eyes wide and filled with anger.

"What?!"

"I said, you will show some respect for my father. Have you gone deaf?"

In an instant, Merlin was standing at his full height directly in front of Arthur. Arthur tried to not look nervous. Despite being the more slender of the two, Merlin was still rather tall. It made him unexpectedly intimidating. And right now, he couldn't have looked more scary than he did with his eyes narrowed, face a mere few inches away from Arthur's. When he spoke, his voice was low and quiet, and Arthur could feel the breath on his face.

"Only a few hours ago, you had allowed me in, past your ridiculous wall. And now it's as if nothing ever happened, and those doors are once more closed. Am I not worth ignoring your father's words?"

Merlin spoke the last sentence with hurt in his voice, and Arthur could see it in his face as well. The pain in that man's face was unbearable, Arthur could never stand seeing the young man so broken and sad. But this was what must be done.

Slowly, Arthur shook his head.

"I am sorry, Merlin, but I cannot disobey my father's orders."

Merlin stumbled away from him as though he had been slapped, his face twisting and his eyes beginning to look glassy.

"Arthur-"

"And you are relieved of your duties as my manservant."

Tears had begun to roll down Merlin's face. He looked paler than usual as he stumbled further away from Arthur, not noticing as he bumped into the prince's dresser. Finding the stairwell door, Merlin gripped the doorknob, looking at Arthur one last time, pausing as though he was going to say something. But then he shook his head, and he was gone.

Arthur stood at that window for hours, holding his face in his hands as he shook with silent sobs.

Chapter Text

The next passing days were almost like torture. In fact, Arthur was fairly certain he would rather be tortured than endure this. All those random beasts he faced with the sharp teeth seemed rather appealing right now...

The castle had an uneasy air to it. Merlin, as ordered, hadn't been to Arthur's chambers since that day they were found out. Three days had passed, and Arthur was beginning to notice the differences between his manser- no, Merlin - and this... George fellow. And now that he saw those differences, he did not appreciate them.

Arthur was finally allowed to sleep in as he pleased, which frustrated him; he wanted to be able to get a good morning training session in! His room was almost too perfectly clean, and he found it irritating how every request and demand he made was met with a quiet "Yes, sire," as though he was some spoiled child who needed appeasing.

Arthur missed Merlin.

Of course he did. It was not unnatural to miss having his best friend around after spending almost all of their time together. But Arthur had not expected it to hurt in this way. It felt less like pain, and more like there was a hole in his chest, as if a piece of him was missing. He supposed this was so, as for a very long time, he had seen Merlin as his soulmate.

But now... Arthur did not know.

Over those three short days, there had been several awkward encounters between Merlin and Arthur. The first time they saw one another after that night, Arthur had been walking the next morning down to the training field when he spotted Merlin coming down a flight of stairs in his direction.

Both men had frozen, staring at one another. It was Merlin who bit his lip, made some uncomfortable squeaking sound, and turned round to hurry back the way he came.

Arthur hadn't realized that Merlin would be around so often, but he was. They ran into each other constantly throughout the day, each time they seemed to briefly pause, as if neither knew how to deal with the situation. In the end, both would look away quickly and go about their business. Neither could bring themselves to try and speak: it was too painful for the both of them.

Arthur knew it all had to come to a head soon. There was too much tension for them to keep avoiding this. But although he knew they had to talk, and they had to talk soon, that did not stop Arthur from avoiding Merlin as much as possible. He had gotten into the habit of craning his neck as he strolled down long corridors, keeping an eyes out for the skinny man, and ducking into a side room if he did. It was all rather embarrassing, if Arthur admitted. He felt like a child.

All of this was rushed out of his mind as soon as he heard about Sir Leon.

Standing before his father, Arthur was trying to keep it together as he listed the members of the patrol who had been lost.

"Edric, Alduuf, Osric," -These were men he had trained himself, he'd watch them grow from boys into men, and now they were just... gone- "... and Sir Leon."

Arthur heard several members of the court gasp behind him. His father looked down at the bloodied cape, his eyes fallen shut. Arthur had to blink furiously, pursing his lips to keep his emotions down.

With a wave of his father's hand, the council was dismissed, and Arthur turned to follow the crowd out the great doors. He tried to not pay attention to one particular person sporting a green neckchief, a great color on him by the way, it really brought out the delicate porcelain tone of Merlin's skin-

Stop it, Arthur thought to himself, gritting his teeth. He had sworn to himself, a while ago, that he would rid himself of these girlish feelings.

As he made his way back towards his chambers, Arthur's mind drifted back to Leon. He still couldn't believe it. Sir Leon was the only one of his knights that Arthur could genuinely consider as a friend. He had always shown great wisdom for his age, and he looked after the prince tirelessly. Arthur was grateful for a knight like Leon. It felt wrong that his good life was the one to be lost.

Arthur was so lost in thought, he didn't notice the man waiting, leaning against Arthur's bedchamber doors. When he finally did notice the man, Arthur froze, staring at Merlin, who was gazing off into the distance with some faraway look to his face. Unexplainable fury filled Arthur's chest at the site, and he stormed forward to kick Merlin's boot.

"Wha-," Merlin blinked at Arthur. "Oh. Arthur."

"You are as illiterate as ever I see, Merlin," Arthur said, trying to not look at his once-manservant as he entered his chambers.

"I only came to see how you were doing," Merlin said from behind Arthur. "I know how close you are Sir Leon were and I just-"

"You know nothing," Arthur snapped, wheeling around to face Merlin. Almost immediately, Merlin's face hardened while Arthur's softened.

"Sorry," Arthur mumbled. Merlin sighed, moving into the room and starting to pick up Arthur's boots.

Arthur watched the man, his face twisting in sudden confusion.

"Uh, Merlin?" No response. "What are you doing?"

"Picking up, what does it look like?" said Merlin, as he lifted a shirt to his nose. "Ugh, when was the last time these were washed?"

"Why?" Arthur said, moving to stand behind Merlin.

"Why? Cause they smell like you've been rolling around in horse shit!"

"No," said Arthur, his voice too soft for his own liking. Merlin noticed it too, as he turned around to look at Arthur. Arthur gestured around the room.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you still behaving like a servant?"

Merlin cocked his head to the side, staring at Arthur curiously. Then shaking his head, he stepped forward, closer to Arthur.

"Don't you know, Arthur?"

"Know what?"'

Merlin's voice was barely a breath when he next spoke. "That I was born to serve you?"

Arthur gulped, only just noticing that Merlin had backed him up against the dresser. Merlin was way too close.

"If only you'd let me," Merlin whispered, his face so close Arthur could count each eyelash. Arthur thought he might faint, just by being surrounded by Merlin's intoxicating presence. He forgot the effect that man had on him, it would just be so easy to let go...

"No," Arthur said, placing a hand on Merlin's chest to push him away. "We can't do this Merlin, it's too dangerous."

"Why?"

Arthur blinked.

"Why what?"

Merlin was starting to get frustrated, he began wringing his hands about. "What, so now I can't ask questions? You've been ignoring me for almost a week, Arthur!"

Arthur sighed, nodding his head.

"I am sorry," he said. "What do you need to know?"

Merlin lowered his hands along with his head, staring at the ground.

"Why can't we do this?"

Arthur was trying very hard to not lose it. How was he supposed to comfort a man into doing something even he himself didn't want to do? But Arthur supposed he had to try.

Reaching out, Arthur placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder, rubbing his thumb back and forth, trying to soothe the man.

"I wish it wasn't so," Arthur started," Truly, I do. But I cannot risk my position on the throne, nor your life. I could never forgive myself if my father did something to you."

Merlin mumbled something to himself. Arthur frowned.

"I didn't catch that."

Merlin raised his head to glare at Arthur.

"I said, I am more than capable of looking out for myself."

Arthur smiled.

"I know that, it's just-"

"No, you don't know. How could you possibly know?"

Arthur's smile dropped at Merlin's words. He shook his head, confused.

"Merlin, what are you talking about? I don't understand-"

"Sire!"

The voice of a guard striding into the room interrupted Arthur. Both he and Merlin turned to face the guard, who was clearly out of breath.

"Speak," said Arthur.

"Sire, the council is required to reconvene!"

Arthur frowned, noticing Merlin doing the same.

"But we only just left," Arthur started slowly. Merlin nodded his agreement.

"I know, sire," said the guard. "But this is a matter of urgency! Sir Leon has returned!"

Arthur froze, and next to him, Merlin gasped. Part of Arthur's brain was tempted to mock Merlin for acting like some damsel, but the other was fixed on one thought, and one thought alone: Leon.

"Okay," he said. "Take us to him."

Arthur could barely believe his eyes, nor could he contain his glee, as he burst through the council chamber doors to see his friend, alive and standing proud.

“Sir Leon!” he said, moving past the other council members to clap his knight on the back, shaking his hand. “We thought you were dead for sure!”

“Well I was dead,” Leon said, grinning just as enthusiastically back. “Or good as, until the druids found me."

Arthur's smile faltered at that. In fact, the whole council chamber quieted. Next to him, Uther took a step towards Leon, his face unreadable.

"Druids?"

"Yes, my lord. I owe them my life."

"How did they heal you? You were as good as dead, you said."

Leon looked puzzled, as did the rest of the council. Arthur was confused. What did it matter, how Leon was healed? He was alive and here, after all. Wasn't that all that mattered?

But Leon addressed his king.

"I don't know," he said.

"Did they use magic?"

The entire room as a whole took a quick intake of breath at Uther's words, watching as Leon struggled to answer.

"Well, I-"

"Yes or no? It's a simple enough question."

Leon winced at the sharpness of Uther's words. Arthur felt sympathy, for he too knew just how demanding his father could be. But then again, it was a straightforward question. Why was Leon hesitant to give the answer?

But then the knight took a steady breath, saying, "I only know that I drank from some kind of cup."

"Cup?"

"It was extraordinary, my lord. I have known nothing like it."

Leon leaned in, whispering his next words in wonderment.

"From the moment it touched my lips I could feel my life return to me."

The council was quiet, all waiting and watching Uther. All eyes were on the man. Arthur himself could see that his father looked troubled. Again, he was unsure as to why.

"Well, your trials have left you weary, I'm sure," Uther finally said. Then, speaking to Arthur, "We must let him rest."

Arthur nodded his agreement, throwing an arm over Leon's shoulder to guide him out of the council chambers toward Gauis, who would lead the knight back to his bedchambers for treatment. Casting his gaze round the room, Arthur caught Merlin throwing him a worried look. Arthur tilted his head, eyebrows expressing his confusion, but Merlin just shook his head and followed the physician out.

Arthur huffed a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. When would people start telling him what the hell was going on?

This evening apparently.

"You called for me father?"

It was well after hours, and his father had summoned him once more to the council chambers. He had walked in to see his father pacing the candlelight room, back and forth. They were alone.

"Cendred is our sworn enemy," his father said. "We cannot risk him getting his hands on the cup of life."

Arthur nodded his head in agreement.

"I know, Father."

"You must retrieve it."

Arthur blinked, but slowly nodded again. But his father wasn't done.

"Your mission must remain secret. You can speak to no one of this."

"I will take only my most trusted men," Arthur said, confused as to how his father thought he would do otherwise. But again, his father was not finished as he shook his head.

"We've seen what happened to the last patrol that entered cenred's land," he said. "You must go alone. I'm sorry to place such a burden upon you," he rushed on as Arthur opened his mouth, "but there is no one else I can trust."

Arthur was rather taken aback at his father's confidence in him. He had to admit he felt a little pride in his voice as he straightened his back and said, "I understand, Father."

His father nodded, looking off like he barely heard Arthur. Arthur took that as his cue to leave, exiting the council chambers with a weird kind of bounce in his step.

On one hand, he had left the council chambers much happier than the last time he and his father had talked privately. It felt good to know that not all was lost between them, and that Arthur still had a chance to make his father proud. He would not let his king down.

On the other hand... this was to be a daunting task. Cendred's lands were no friend of Camelot's. Arthur would have to be careful. And he knew his father said to go alone, but Arthur couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of his brain. He let that pull drag him to the corner of the castle where Gaius's chambers were. Where Merlin lived.

Before he could stop himself, Arthur was pushing the door open, intruding on the two men eating dinner who stared at him, each with their mouths full of soup. Arthur took a deep breath.

"Merlin, I need your help."

Chapter Text

Merlin was grumbling feverishly to himself as he fussed over Arthur.  He fiercely wiped the man's brow and tugged off his boots so quickly they went flying, hitting Gwaine square in the face.  Gwaine himself was staring at Merlin, Merlinc could almost feel his eyes burning into his back.  He knew he was acting strange, he knew he was angrier than he should have been.  But seeing how carelessly willing Arthur was to get hurt?  That lit a flame deep within Merlin that he never knew he had.

Pushing away the sweat hair on the prince's brow like rubbing a cat,  Merlin was muttering to himself almost maniacally.

"Come on, you idiotic hero," he said, aggressivly stroking the prince's hair.  "You gotta stop being so damn prideful and keep getting yourself into danger!  I mean, you put me in danger half the time, so why should I care if you wake up or not?"

"Merlin."

"You may be the prattiest prat on the planet, you brave idiot."

"Merlin."

"I can't believe you would be stupid enough to do that, so you better wake up."

"Merlin!"

"What?!" Merlin said, whipping around to stare at Gwaine with wide eyes.  Gwaine only looked at him, eyes all scrunched up as he lounged up against a tree.

Merlin rolled his eyes, shaking his head in a way to ask Gwaine, "Well? "

The man did not answer.  Scoffing the tiniest bit, Merlin turned back to Arthur only to be pulled back by Gwaine's voice.

"He's going to be alright," he said.  "Why are you so worried?"

Merlin stared at him incredulously, before letting out a laugh full of sarcasm.  He glared at Gwaine.

"Um, it's poison, Gwaine?" he said.  "Highly lethal potions?  And you ask why I'm worried, hm."

Gwaine raised his brows before shrugging and now ignoring Merlin.

"You've treated lots of poisonings, though, haven't you?"  Gwaine did not see the stunned look on Merlin's face and continued on, speaking slowly now.  "

"And that was a poisoned arrow that the Saxons are commonly known for using," he said.  "You and Gauis must have seen thousands of wounds caused by it."

Absolute silence.  Gwaine went on.

"So... if you know he can easily be treated, why are you so worried?"

Merlin turned away right as Gwaine looked back at him.

"It seems... overprotective.  Like there's something more-"

"Enough." 

Gwaine's brows shot up once more at Merlin's commanding tone.  But then the younger man sighed.

"Sorry, it's just... a lot, Gwaine, okay?  And, I'm rather tired."  Gwaine nodded in response, turning over to look back up at the stars, and proceeded to fall asleep for the rest of the night.

Now, truly alone, Merlin sat in the dark, ears keen and listening for disturbances in the forest.  Mostly, his ears were filled with the sounds of the forest, the crickets chirping, a branch breaking, stuff like that.

Feeling satisfied that they would be truly undisturbed for the moment,  Merlin refocused back on Arthur.

He knelt over the man, keeping one hand pressed on the prince's forehead as Merlin let his head fall back to look up to the heavens.

Closing his eyes, Merlin reached out his senses, and felt.  He felt it all.  The feel of the breeze whipping around a tree.  The energy of the roots connecting the earth.  The heartbeat of every animal as it walked on the ground.  He felt all of it.

Merlin opened his eyes to look down at his hand, and released all of that energy.  One second it was all around him, the next it was pulsing in the palm of his hand.  The next second it was rushing into Arthur's body to fill all his spaces.

Muttering an ancient prayer under his breath, Merlin closed his eye's mind for just a moment.  Just for one moment to feel detached from his humanly life.  It was all a blank.

His eyes shot open and suddenly it all came rushing back.

Grunting, Merlin struggled to maintain his magic as he leaned heavily over Arthur's body.  His arm was shaking, and Merlin could see the glowing energy already starting to fade from Arthur.

"Come on!" he said.  

For one brief moment, Merlin was hopeful as Arthur's form gave one last pulse, but then it all faded away.  Merlin stared down at the body, his face blank of emotion.  Arthur wasn't moving.

"No."

That's all Merlin could say as he shook his head in a strange, dazed state. 

Merlin couldn't tear his eyes away until Gwaine woke at first light and had to move him away from Arthur.  Away from his love.

And then said love awoke, and Merlin quickly went back to being thoroughly annoyed.

“Where’s the cup?  Where’s the cup?!”

Merlin woke with a groan to Arthur shouting.  Casting a look around, he saw Gwaine looking just as bewildered as he was.

“Cendred’s men, they took it.” Merlin sat up rubbing his eyes and squinting at the prince who was now struggling to stand up.

“What?! Then what are we still doing here?!” Arthur yelled as both Gwaine and Merlin moved to help him as he stumbled.  Merlin gripped the prince’s arm tight, trying to keep the fat prat from falling over.

“You were unconscious!” he said, trying to wipe the sweat off of Arthur’s brow, but the man just batted his hand away, scowling at Merlin.

“Always an excuse, Merlin,” he said with a groan.  “We have to get back to Camelot before it’s too late.”

Merlin was using all of his willpower to not roll his eyes and shove the prince back in the dirt.  Instead, he shot a grimace at Gwaine as they watched Arthur try to walk on his own.  The prince tripped over his own feet several times as the men looked on.

“A Camelot patrol.”

Arthur was bent over a fallen knight, his head bowed in thought.  Merlin looked in misery at the bodies, some of which he knew had once belonged to friendly men.  But then he noticed something.

“Arthur.”

“Hm.”

“There’s not a single enemy body.”

Looking up, Arthur’s face darkened.

“He’s right.”

“Who could have done such a thing?” Gwaine said, his eyes narrow as he stared at Arthur, who was thinking hard.  The prince was silent for several moments.

“An army of men that cannot die,” he finally said.  

Merlin’s breath caught in his throat as Arthur shot him a knowing look.  Merlin shook his head in response to the silent communication.  Arthur sighed before turning to face the wilderness.  Merlin knew what he was thinking: just round that corner was Camelot.  Just round that corner was the answer.  But did they truly want to know?

It was Merlin’s turn to sigh as he and Gwaine followed Arthur, who had already taken off for the main path, determination in his gait.

Merlin knew Gwaine was unfamiliar with the city of Camelot, but even he had to gasp as they passed under the city gates.

“What the hell happened?” the man whispered, but Merlin only shook his head.  It was Arthur who said what they were all thinking.

“I don’t know.

“Here,” Merlin said, suddenly moving ahead as he recognized a familiar hut.  “We’ll be safe here, Arthur, you need to rest a moment.”

Without protest, Arthur hobbled after Merlin with the help of Gwaine towards Gwen’s house.  As they reached the door, Merlin couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his gut.  The lights were out.  Was Gwen....

“Here, let me.”

Merlin’s thoughts were interrupted as Gwaine pushed passed him to kick in the door in one swift motion.  Moving to help Arthur, Merlin followed Gwaine inside.  All three men peered around the dark house.  All seemed quiet.

“AHHHH!”

Suddenly, swords clashed, and Merlin blinked in surprise as Arthur lifted his sword to block a startled Elyan from striking.

“Elyan!”

“I’m sorry,” said the man, lowering his sword and his head in shame.

“Where is everyone?” Arthur asked.

Elyan looked up at them, eyes darting back and forth between each man.  Why did he look so nervous?

“I-I-I thought that-,” Elyan started, but he kept stumbling over his words.  Merlin watched as Arthur moved forward to place a hand on the frightened man’s shoulder.

“Elyan, please,” said Arthur.  “What happened?”

The man took one more shaky breath before he spoke.

“They came out of nowhere,” he started.  “A mighty army.  Weapons were useless against them.  They were men, sire, but not men…”  Elyan shot one more look around, chewing his lip.

“Nothing could kill them.”

Merlin heard Arthur’s sharp intake of breath.  Merlin himself was having to try and keep a brave face.  It was just as bad as they feared.

“Where’s your sister, where’s Guinevere?”

Merlin’s head shot up at those words.

“She was in the citadel when they attacked.

Arthur nodded up and down before saying, “Then there’s still hope.”

But Arthur didn’t see the look Elyan gave him.  Merlin did.

“Sire,” the man said.  Arthur turned back to Elyan.  “The citadel’s been taken.”

As the group made their way out of the lower town and towards the citadel, Elyan crept closer to Merlin to whisper, “How much longer can he keep going like this?”

Merlin shook his head, biting his lip to keep from speaking. He feared that if he did, he might just cry.

Elyan, ever the empath, seemed to sense Merlin’s distress and grabbed Merlin’s arm.  The shorter man gave Merlin a knowing look.  Merlin gave him a sad smile, resting his hand on the one on his arm.

“You won’t lose him.”

Merlin nodded, trying to refocus as the group made their way up the palace steps, which was strangely unguarded.

“Where now?” said Gwaine as they entered the main corroder.  They all turned to Arthur, who was leaning against a pillar, and looking rather pale, Merlin thought to himself.  He narrowed his eyes as Arthur vaguely pointed around.

“Now, uh… now we, uh…”

“Nope, not doing this,” said Merlin, maneuvering around the other two men to grab Arthur’s arm and pull him to his chest.  “Arthur, you can’t go on.”

“We must find the others,” Arthur protested, but Merlin shook his head.

“You can’t go on without treatment.”

“Guinevere and my father-”

“Oh for crying out- Elyan,” Merlin said, whipping his head round to look at the man.  “Do you know the way to the dungeons?”  Elyan nodded.  “Go with Gwaine, see if you can find them.”  With another nod, Elyan turned around, Gwaine following behind him.

“I’m going with them.”

“No, you’re not,” said Merlin as he tried to pull a struggling Arthur along with him, who shot him a dirty look.

“That’s an order, Merlin.”

“To hell with your orders!  You’re coming with me.”

Merlin tried to ignore the muttered profanities as he dragged the prince down the hallway.

Chapter Text

“Thank you, Gauis,” Arthur said as he downed the potion the physicians passed him.  He groaned out in pain, keening over as he felt his body fighting.  He flinched as he felt something on his back, but when he looked up, it was only Merlin resting a hand and staring down at him.  Arthur felt the pain melt off his face at his manservant’s worried expression.  He gave Merlin the smallest of smiles, and got one in return.

Their moment was interrupted as Elyan and Gwaine burst through the door, each panting heavily. In an instant, Arthur shot up, ignoring the stabbing pain in his leg.

“The King, sire, he’s alive,” said Elyan. Arthur gave a small sigh of relief in his head, but there was still much to be done.

“Where is he?”

“They’re taking him to the throne room as we speak, sire.”

“This may be my last chance,” Arthur muttered to himself, but Merlin must have heard because he grasped Arthur’s arm staring hard at him.

“Arthur, there’s too many of them, you’ll never make it!”

Arthur gave Merlin another sad smile.  Merlin knew just as well as Arthur that he needed to do this. Merlin bit his lip, withdrawing his arm. Arthur tried to ignore the water in those blue eyes.

“Gwaine, Elyan,” he started, turning round to face the two men. Both straightened to attention.  “Take Gaius and make your way to the woods beyond the castle.” They nodded in understanding. Elyan started to help Gaius gather his supplies, while Gwaine grasped Arthur’s hand with his own, giving the prince a firm nod. 

“May we meet again.”

As the three men rushed out the door, Arthur turned to Merlin. It pained his heart to do so, but he had to keep his Merlin safe. Even if that meant doing this on his own.

“You should go with them,” he said, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.  Merlin peered at him curiously, before a wide grin split his face.

“Nah, I’ve seen the woods already,” he joked, but then his face fell serious once more. “Arthur,” he said, “we’re in this together.”

Arthur’s heart soared at that, and he took Merlin’s hand in his own as they made their way out.

But as they ducked round a pillar to hide from some guards, Arthur started to feel faint again.  In the back of his mind he was aware of Merlin asking if he was okay.  All Arthur could do was squeeze Merlin’s hand, trying to ground himself.

“Keep moving,” he said, trying to pull them along when the coast was clear.  But a strong 

gripped yanked Arthur back.  Arthur looked round at Merlin, who was glaring at him.  

“Merlin, do you ever do as you’re told?” Arthur asked, trying once more to pull Merlin, but the man did not budge.

“What has gotten into you?” Arthur hissed, starting to lose his patience.  “We need to get to my father!”

Before he could say anything else, Merlin was pulling Arthur in by the collar for one, good snog.  Arthur's words died in his throat as the man pushed him off, breathing heavily.

"What was that for?"

Merlin rolled his eyes, and was already moving back into the corridor.

"Really, Arthur," he said, looking over his shoulder to call to the dumbfounded prince.  "Didn't think I'd let you lead us to our deaths without making up?"

Arthur sputtered on his words.  Merlin's eyebrows shot up.

"I-uh...but-you-"

"We're wasting time," Merlin said, cutting Arthur off.  But then, Arthur was offered the most beautifully mischievous smile ever as Merlin grinned at him.

"Let's go get our king."

With a nod of his head, Arthur stepped forward to walk in line with his manservant.  Their hands slipped back together, and they both grinned at each other.

The adrenaline of being reckless was like no other.  Especially when they were together.

Dashing up the steps of the balcony, Arthur could hear the blood pumping in his veins.  He could hear the room below filled with people.  Filled with murders.  Filled with people who terrorized his people and his father.  They would be brought to justice.

Finally reaching the top, Arthur motioned to Merlin to duck as they crawled along the stone rail, each staring at the sheer size of the entire immortal army.

Arthur was scanning each row, each face, trying to find one that looked familiar.  He froze as soon as his gaze landed on the figure at the base of the throne.  It was that enchantress, Morgause.  This was her doing?!  Arthur's grip only tightened on the rails as a group of soldiers dragged his struggling father to the sorceress's feet.  He didn't even notice he was gripping his sword and crouching like he was going to jump until Merlin pulled him back from the edge of the rail, hissing, "The guards are immortal, they'll cut you to ribbons.  What use are you dead?!"

Arthur closed his eyes, willing his body to loosen from its tensed state.  Opening his eyes, he turned to give a grateful nod to Merlin, who only grimaced back.

"Well, Uther, how the mighty have fallen."

Both Arthur and Merlin's heads snapped back to focus on the goings in the throne room below them as Morgause lifted the golden crown off of Uther's head.

"I don't think you'll be needing this anymore."

"This is unlawful, you cannot do this!" Arthur could almost feel his father's fury like a heat wave as he shouted.  "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO THE THRONE!!"

"No, she does not."

Arthur couldn't believe his eyes.  He knew that voice anywhere, and he knew that figure, but... no, it couldn't be.  Next to him, Arthur heard Merlin give a small gasp.

Walking out of the shadows was Morgana.

Arthur's head went into overdrive.

A million thoughts, questions, and disbeliefs overwhelmed him at once as he watched Morgana approach his father with a cruel smirk.

She bent down towards Uther, placing one finger under his chin to say, "But I do."

Arthur's head was spinning and his vision was swimming.  There was a roar in his ears that was growing louder.  He feared that he might topple over.  This was the absolute worst-

"I am your daughter, after all."

Time froze.

Arthur was aware of nothing save the words just uttered by his supposed... sister?!

"Oh, don't look so surprised, I've known for some time,"  Morgana, Arthur's sister, Morgana, said.

"Why are you doing this?"

Uther had finally spoken.  From their position on the balcony, Arthur could see his father's head bowed in shame

"Come, come, surely you of all people must understand.  Sometimes such measures are necessary."

"Those people your army murdered were innocent."

"As were so many that you put to death."

Next to Arthur, Merlin made a noise that sounded like a choked sob.  Turning round, Arthur saw that, indeed, Merlin was struggling to keep his sadness contained with a hand clamped over his own mouth.  Arthur immediately seized the smaller man's hand, squeezing it tightly, as they both listened to the horrible obscenities pouring out of their once-friend's mouth.

"I want you to suffer as I suffered." Morgana's voice was barely a whisper.  "To know what it's like to be alone and afraid.  To be disgusted with who, and what, you are."

Arthur saw his father finally lift his head.

"Do you really hate me so much?"

Arthur winced, his father's voice shook like a leaf, it was so broken.  But it did not hurt as much as Morgana's next words.

"You cannot begin to know how much I hate you."

There was a wail, a scream, and scuffling all of sudden as Arthur watched his father dive for a sword on the nearest soldier's belt.  Arthur's vision went red as his father placed the blade to his chest and then thrust-

"NOOO!!!"

Chapter Text

Arthur couldn't stop the scream that was wrenched from his stomach, matching the shriek of another.  Before he could realize what he was doing, Arthur was leaping over the rail, rolling to stop his fall, and sprinting through the sea of men to get to his father.  Everyone seemed so shocked to see the prince that no one bothered to stop him.

Arthur fell to his knees when he came to his father's body.

“Father?” he said meekly.  He reached out a shaky hand to his father’s brow.  “Father?!” he said again.  He felt like a child as he shook his father, now full-on sobbing.  “Father!!”  

As Arthur’s shoulders seized with his choking sobbs, he heard a body fall to the ground.  Looking up through watery eyes, Arthur found Morgana on her knees.

"N-no," she said to herself.  "This wasn't-why-no!"  Her voice was growing louder to the point where she was wailing.  All the while Arthur continued to hold his father's head, rocking him back and forth as he cried to himself.

The entire chamber was silent except for Arthur's cries and Morgana's increasing delusions.

"No!  It wasn't supposed to happen like this!"

"You must calm yourself, sister!"

Arthur looked up again to see Morgause leaning down to touch Morgana's shoulder, but she knocked her hand out of the way, her eyes never leaving Uther.

As he continued to sniffle and heave, somewhere in the back of his mind, Arthur couldn't help but notice Morgana's distress.  For those few moments, as he and Merlin sat on the balcony, Arthur had feared and begun to believe that he had lost one of his best friends to evil forever.  But as he watched her breakdown, he couldn't help the small flicker of hope starting to burn in his chest.

He had already lost his father.  He did not want to lose his best friend.  His sister.

"Morgana," he said, his voice trembling as he removed one hand from his father to reach for the woman.  "Morgana, please."

"Don't listen to him, Morgana!" came Morgause's sharp voice.  Arthur saw Morgana look up at the sorceress in despair.

"I am your one true family, sister."

"No," Arthur croaked.  Morgana looked back at him.  "Morgana, that's not true.  Your family is here, in Camelot."

"He will be just like Uther, a king that shows no one mercy."

"That's not true!"  Arthur had forced himself up to stand, glaring at Morgause.  "I am not my father."

"Yet you stood by him as he massacred those who were innocently born with magic."

Arthur swallowed hard.

"I know that," he said, looking down at Morgana.

"Morgana, I'm sorry you've had to live in fear.  There is nothing I can do to change what my- our father has done to your... people.  But please, I promise I will do whatever I can to protect you.  I can't lose you, Morgana."  Arthur choked on his last words, fresh tears springing forth.  Morgana's face was crumpled as her own tears began to fall.

"You're the only family I have left."

"Sister." Morgause was speaking again, kneeling down to Morgana.  "He can protect you all he likes, but that does not stop the law, nor his unfair right to the throne."

She reached out a hand, gently stroking Morgana's locks.

"That right belongs to you, and you alone, sister."

Morgana looked between the two.  Her sister, and her brother.  Her eyes were blown wide with fear and sadness.  How could Arthur have missed this?  How could he not notice how miserable his friend had been.  Feeling unwanted by the father they shared just because of how she was born.  Arthur was still wrapping his mind around the fact that Morgana had magic, but he knew one thing for sure:  Uther had made Morgana feel unwanted, and that had driven her away from what was her home.  Arthur would do anything to remedy that.

"She has half a point."  Both women almost snapped their necks as they turned round to look at him.  Arthur gulped at the enraged look on Morgause's face, but he continued.

"You do have a legitimate claim to the throne, Morgana," he said.  "BUt so do I.  I do not plan on relinquishing my hold anytime soon, and I assume the same for you?"

Morgana slowly shook her head.

"Right, then I have a proposition for you." Arthur straightened up and fiercely rubbed his face to try and scrub the tears and snot away.  He needed this to be professional and true.

"Rule with me, Morgana."

If the chamber was silent beforehand, it most definitely became almost deafeningly so.  Arthur could have sworn no one breathed.  Morgause was standing again, her eyes wide with fury, while Morgana sat at her feet, a hand on her chest.

"Morgana?"

Morgana looked at Arthur, her lips trembling.

"Why?"

Arthur blinked.

"WHy what?"

"Why would you do that?"

Arthur's mouth dropped open at that, but then he closed it.  Trying not to think too hard about it, he stepped over his father's body to drop to his knees in front of his new-found sister.  Said sister flinched a little when Arthur placed a hand on her shoulder and stared intently at her.

"Because, Morgana," he said.  "You're my sister.  And my friend, and I couldn't bear to lose you."

Morgana's face crumpled at that as she let out a wailing sob, flinging her arms around Arthur's neck and falling into his chest.

Surprised, Arthur sat back, petting her hair furiously while fighting his own tears.

"Shh, it's okay," he whispered.  "I've got you."

"NO!!"

Both Morgana and Arthur almost jumped at Morgause's shriek.  Looking up, Arthur watched in fear as the enchantress approached them, a ball of threatening lightning forming in her palm.

"Morgana," she said.  "Get away from him."

Arthur looked frantically at Morgana, who, once again, looked torn and frightened.  BUt then Arthur watched as her face hardened and she stood, leaving his embrace.

"No, sister," she said.  She was still shaky on her feet, but she stood firm.  Arthur was in awe.  Maybe he had misunderstood her as much as their father did.  But Arthur was going to change that.

"I will not leave my home, my kingdom, my brother, for my own gain," Morgana said.

"You don't even know if he will guarantee your safety!!" Morgause shrieked.  "Who's to say that he won't burn you at the stake just as he has so many others like us?!"

At that, Arthur shot to his feet as well.

"I give you my solemn word that I will do anything to protect Morgana and the people of this land!" he shouted at the sorceress.  "I will right the wrongs of my father!  I will help to lift my father's ban on magic!"

A small gasp came from behind him.  Wheeling round, Arthur could spot Merlin in the crowd, watery-eyed and hand covering his mouth.

Arthur barely had time to focus on the thin man as Morgana's sobs resurfaced.  He whipped around to watch as Morgana held her face in her hands.  Morgause looked furious.  Then her eyes fell on Arthur.

"How dare you steal my own sister away from me," she said, approaching him.  "You will pay dearly for this!!"

"NO!!"

There was another roar.  Morgana had thrust her hands forward, pushing the enchantress away from her with some invisible force.  Arthur stumbled back, falling on his knees.  He stared at Morgause, who had fallen and was struggling to rise.  Morgana now turned to face the army staring at her.  Arthur shuffled backwards when he saw her eyes; glowing gold, the most dangerous gold.

"LEAVE!" 

Morgana's voice shook the room as her magic swept over the immortal army.  Each man scrambled over one another, trying to escape.  The castle shook with power, dust and bricks falling on all of them.  Arthur's eyes widened in horror.  Whether she meant to or not, Morgana was going to bring the entire castle down.

"Arthur!"

In a daze, Arthur looked to see Merlin running up to him, grabbing him by the forearms to pull him up on his feet.

"No," Arthur muttered.  "My father-"

Merlin cursed, dragging Arthur with him as he stumbled to the fallen king.  Arthur had to raise a hand to be able to see through the billowing dust.  Where was-

"Morgana!"

Merlin was shouting through the cloud of dust, trying to find their friend.

"Morgana!!"

"Merlin, no," Arthur said.  "It's over.  She's gone."

Merlin looked at him, desperation and fury in his eyes.

"No," he said.  "No, I will not abandon her again, I will not!  Morgana!!"

Arthur sighed.  If she wasn't buried in stone, surely she had fled.  His heart ached at both thoughts.  It was tearing him up on the inside that he had only just reached her to lose her again.

"M-merlin?  Arthur?"

A quiet voice called out to them, a glowing pair of eyes pierced the settling dust, and then there was Morgana, standing in front of the two men.

The three all stared at one another for several moments, each person covered in dirt, dust and tears.

"You didn't go," Arthur said. He gently pushed Merlin off and moved forward to take Morgana's hands in his own.  He frowned as she started to cry again.

"You want me to leave?"

Arthur shook his head, lifting a hand to brush the tears off her cheeks.

"No... no, of course not.  I want you to stay.  Please stay, Morgana."

She looked at him through the tears, eyes wide.

"Did you really mean it?" she whispered.  Arthur frowned again.

"Did I really mean what?"

"That you will lift the ban.  That... people like me, we'll be safe?"

Arthur pulled Morgana's head towards his own to rest their foreheads together.

"I promise, Morgana."

Arthur closed his eyes as he listened to Morgana's hushed cries, all while stroking her cheek.

"You're going to be safe, Morgana, I promise," he said.  As he spoke to her, he could hear Merlin sniffling behind him.  Pulling away from Morgana, Arthur stepped down from the dauis to stand in front of Merlin.  Tears had left streaks on the man's thin face.  Arthur now placed his hand on Merlin's cheek, causing the man's eyes to fall close.

"We're all going to be safe."

Chapter Text

Knocking on the door, a voice said, "Enter," prompting Merlin to push it open and step into the room.  The sight he found was bewildering.

Arthur's chambers were an absolute mess already.  But add the dust and fallen stone of the castle?  It was an absolute disaster.  Hard chunks of stone had fallen and broken several chairs, and each flat surface had a thick layer of dust.  Merlin was pretty sure that the beam of Arthur's bed was also broken, judging by the bent piece of wood sticking out. 

But the most bewildering thing of all was Arthur... sweeping?  Merlin's mouth fell open.

"Since when did you start cleaning up your own messes?"

Arthur looked up with a grin, giving a small shrug.

"Now seemed as good a time as any to start."  He propped the broom he was using against the wall as Merlin walked to stand in front of Arthur.  Merlin tried to catch the man's gaze, but Arthur was actively avoiding meeting his eyes.

"Arthur?" Merlin said as he placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder.  "Are you alright-"

"How is the cleanup coming?" Arthur interrupted, turning around to move away from Merlin, standing with his hands on his hips while staring hard out his window.

Merlin blinked at the suddenness, but then again, he should have expected this.  Typical Arthur.  He sighed, now bending down to pick up the larger pieces of rock at his feet.

"Fine," he said as he worked, bustling around the room.  "Most of the larger debris has been moved within the castle.  I'm pretty sure the main road has been cleared in the lower towns."

"And the immortal army?"

Merlin paused, straightening back up from where he was making Arthur's bed.  He stared at the back of Arthur's head, looking for some sign.

"Gone," Merlin started.  "Morgana seemed to have scared them off."

Merlin heard a sharp inhale at the mention of Morgana's name.  Sighing again he walked over to stand behind the prince, not touching this time.  Then he spoke.

"Arthur, you can't keep ignoring this."

"You don't know anything, do you, Merlin?!" Arthur snapped, shooting a glare over his shoulder to an eerily calm Merlin.

"I know that you are hurt," Merlin said.  "I know that you lost your father.  I know you've been betrayed by a friend."  Taking a deep breath, Merlin closed his eyes.

"I know what both of those feel like, Arthur."

Merlin could feel Arthur's questioning eyes.  Merlin opened his own, staring hard at the man looking at him.

"Tell me."

That did it.  As Merlin watched, Arthur's composure began to crumble.  The noble prince dropped that blank face, and instead his eyes became watery while he bit down his lip.  Running a hand over his mouth, Arthur shook his head as he blinked hard.

"I don't know if I can."

"Yes, Arthur, you can.  Please tell me."

Arthur's eyes closed, and Merlin could see the pain on his face as tears leaked out from closed lids.  Hurrying forward, Merlin embraced his prince in his own arms just in time before Arthur began to shake with tears.

"He's gone," he said, muffled into Merlin's shoulder.  Hushing his sobs, Merlin stroked the man's golden hair, encouraging Arthur to keep talking.

"I can't believe-he never told me about Morgana-and then he did that-he took his own-his own..." Arthur was hiccupping hard now, and borderline hyperventilating as he struggled to get the words out.

"Breathe, Arthur, just breathe."

Merlin felt Arthur try to take a deep breath, all choked up with phlegm and tears, no doubt.  A small part of Merlin took note of this as something to tease about for later.

"I-I can't believe," Arthur tried again, "He took his own life!"  

At that, Arthur truly began to sob, letting out loud gasps as he shook in Merlin's arms.  Merlin felt the arms around him tighten, so Merlin squeezed right back.

They stood there for several minutes, Merlin alternating between stroking Arthur's hair and patting his back, trying to soothe the distraught prince.  

Slowly, Arthur's sobs dwindled from loud gasps back to quick little breaths, before he finally stilled.

"I'm sorry."

At that, Merlin gripped Arthur's shoulders to pull them apart, staring at Arthur.

"What on earth are you sorry for?!" Merlin said, eyes wide in borderline fury.  Why did Arthur always do this to himself?  Even when a great tragedy happened to him, Arthur still seemed to think he was the bad guy.

Sure enough, Arthur shrugged, looking away as he blinked back the last of his tears.

Merlin sighed and shook his head, reaching a hand up to place on Arthur's cheek.

"Love, look at me."

Arthur blinked hard, trying to ignore the words.

"Arthur, please look at me."

When Arthur finally met his eyes, Merlin began to speak.

"You can't blame yourself for any of this, Arthur.  There is nothing you could have done. I am so sorry, my love."

Arthur bobbed his head up and down in acknowledgement.

"Thank you, Merlin."

Merlin didn't need to ask what for.  In fact, he didn't need to say anything.  Instead, he just pulled his prince back into his arms.

Merlin stayed with Arthur in his chambers, helping to clean up and just to provide company.  He feared of what would happen if Arthur was left alone.  Together, they repaired the bed, dusted out the fireplace, restacked the oddments lying on the floor, and uprighted the table that had fallen on its side.

The whole time they worked, Arthur was quiet.  Merlin didn't push it.  He himself had to duck out of the chambers every few minutes to delegate tasks to other servants as clean up went on throughout the castle.

After disappearing for a good half an hour, Merlin returned, just as before, to Arthur's chambers, pulling the door shut behind him with a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

Merlin shook his head wearily, wiping his brow.

"Nothing, love," he said, giving Arthur a weak grin.  "Just was running some supplies down to medical."

Arthur nodded, returning to organizing his books.

"Gauis's study must be overflowing," he said as Merlin knelt down to join him, shaking his head.

"Actually," he said, trying to keep his voice casual and gauge Arthur’s reaction. "Morgana's set up a medical center in the dining hall."

Arthur paused. Merlin held his breath.

“Oh,” Arthur finally said, opening a book to stare at its pages. “That’s good.”

Merlin hummed in agreement, bobbing his head up and down. Arthur still refused to look up from the book, but his eyes weren’t moving. Merlin narrowed his eyes.

"Arthur, you've been staring at the same spot on that page for a while now."

Arthur glanced up as Merlin raised his eyebrows at him.

"Come on, now," Merlin said.  "You need to talk about it."

Arthur sighed, shutting the book and setting it aside.  Merlin adjusted himself to sit cross legged in front of Arthur as the man ran a hand through his hair.

"So," Arthur said.  "Morgana."

"Morgana."

"Has magic."

"She does."

"And she's my... sister."

"Well observed, sire."

Arthur glared at him, causing Merlin to mutter a quick "Sorry," and pick at the wooden floor.  Silence fell once again for several moments before Merlin sighed.

"And how are we feeling about that, sire?"

Arthur's glare dropped, his eyes switching from annoyance to desperation

"I don't know," he whispered.  Merlin's heart ached at seeing the man he loved looking so lost.  The man looked near tears.  Lord, Merlin himself was close to tears.

"How could my father do this to us?  To her?"

Merlin shook his head, resting a hand to squeeze Arthur's knee.

"I don't know, love," he said.  "He must have had his reasons."

"Merlin, she grew up thinking she was alone, that she had no family.  And then she finds out that she had one all along, but that they were ashamed of her?!"

Arthur's voice was rising, and so was the panic in his face; Merlin could see it.  Rising to his knees, Merlin grabbed Arthur's face so that they were just about nose-to-nose.

"You weren't to know, Arthur," Merlin said.  He held Arthur's face firmly, and his voice was just as commanding.  "So you aren't to blame.  You.  Are not.  To blame."  With each word Merlin couldn't help but shake the man he held, just try to shake some sense into him!  How could he blame himself for every wrongdoing in the world?

Arthur stared at him with wide eyes before nodding.  With a sigh, Merlin sat back down, allowing himself to fall forward and rest against Arthur's chest.  Arthur gave a half-assed laugh.

"Who knew you could be so assertive, Merlin?" he said, stroking the man's dark hair.

Merlin snorted.

"There are many things you don't know about me, sire."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?!"

Merlin grinned as he sat back up, hearing that familiar tease in Arthur's voice.  The man sat in front of him still looked beaten and worn, but that child-like smirk was back.  Merlin's grin softened as he laid a hand on Arthur's cheek.

"You don't know just how much I love you, Arthur."

Arthur's eyes fell shut at the contact.  Merlin continued to stroke his cheek.

"You don't know how good you are."

Merlin could feel Arthur shudder under the touch of his lips as Merlin traced his neck.

"You see the good in people, Arthur."

Merlin pulled away as Arthur opened his eyes once more.

"We have Morgana back, that's all that matters," Merlin said.  Arthur nodded, although he still looked troubled.  Merlin supposed he would always wonder about his father now that he was gone.

"I was curious," Merlin said, once more picking at the floor.  "Why did you promise to lift the ban on magic?"  Merlin could feel Arthur's gaze locked on him, but this time, Merlin did not meet it.  He needed to hear this without being influenced by his personal affections for Arthur.  He needed to hear it for himself.

"Well, Merlin, it's rather simple, really," Arthur said in a mocking tone.  "To keep my one remaining family member here, I have to make it safe for her.   Do I need to spell that out?"

Merlin shrugged.

"I don't know," he said.  "You are abandoning all of the lessons your father has taught you.  Lifting the ban just to keep Morgana here?  I think that if you truly believed your father, you would have tried to find another way to make her want to stay."

"All I'm saying is that, it seems like you may actually care."  Merlin finally glanced up at Arthur, waiting for his response.  Arthur looked taken aback, but quickly composed himself to return to organizing his books.

"I suppose maybe I do," Arthur said.

"Why?"

As Arthur frowned, Merlin's insides were churning.

"My father executed many magic users.  Some rightfully so, but others were cut down for who they were.  They committed no crime.

"LIke that druid boy’s mentor?

Arthur nodded.

"Like him, yes.  It never sat right with me.  Magic has posed a danger before, but maybe it's time to seperate magic from crime."

Merlin was trying hard to not show his emotion, biting at his lip as he tried to contain some sappy smile that wanted to come out.  Instead, he simply nodded, and looked back down.

"That's awfully noble of you, sire."

"No, Merlin, it's not."  Arthur said sharply.  "This is the right thing to do."

“You also agreed to share your place on the throne…”

“For Gods sake, Merlin!” Arthur said, slamming shut the book he had been examining.  “Must I explain everything to you?!” When Merlin shrugged, Arthur groaned, rubbing his hands over his tired eyes.

"Fine," he said.  "I asked Morgana to share my place on the throne because clearly, she wanted it."

"But why did you forgive her?"

"She was strayed bad by evil sorceresses, Merlin, that's not her fault."

"But she never cared about you or Uther.  Why would you share that with her?"

Arthur gave Merlin an odd look before shaking his head.

"That's just the thing, Merlin, she never wanted my father dead."  At Merlin's stunned look, Arthur rushed to continue.

"Obviously she has built up resentment towards him, no doubt about that," he said.  "But when we were in the throne room and he- when he- you know, did it, I watched Morgana cry.  He may have been unknowingly cruel towards her, but even then Morgana knew that he had still looked out and cared for her."

At that, Arthur fell silent, and Merlin didn't push it any further.  All he did was stand, lean down to press a kiss to golden hair, and went about dusting off the cabinets, leaving Arthur to his own thoughts, staring off into the distance.

Chapter Text

After helping Arthur set his chambers back to normal, Merlin finally was able to take his leave and head home to Gauis, some dinner, and his own bed.  It had been a long day.  Merlin was exhausted, yet he could not get his mind to turn off.

What was he to do now?  He had spent his entire time in Camelot keeping his magic a secret.  He had kept his secret from Arthur, who he was now in an invested relationship with.  If magic was to be no longer banned, what did that mean for the two of them? 

As he approached the doors to Gauis's chambers, Merlin couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh.  He was finally going to be able to be free, but that meant admitting to the man that he loved that he was a liar.  A fake.  Arthur was in love with some persona Merlin had created to survive in Camelot.  Merlin had always known this, from the first time they admitted their feelings to each passionate kiss they shared.  Arthur was not in love with Merlin, because he did not know the true Merlin.

At that sad thought, Merlin pushed the door open.

Immediately, his heart leapt into his throat at the sight.  Gauis was working at his bench like normal, that was nothing new.  BUt the odd thing was that Morgana sat at the foot of their fireplace, staring into the blazing flames with a blanket wrapped around her frame.

Gauis looked up as Merlin entered, but Morgana didn't budge.  Merlin shot Gauis an incredulous look, moving over to whisper in the older man's ear.

"What is she doing here?"

Gauis glanced over his shoulder to make sure Morgana wasn't paying attention.

"She came here," Gauis whispered back.  "She felt faint and wanted a potion, but then she sat down and hasn't moved since."

Merlin's eyebrows shot up.  As much as he was happy that they had saved her, it did not change the fact that she had done awful things.

Gauis must have noticed Merlin's indignance, because he gave Merlin a quick whack on the back of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?!" Merlin whisper-shouted, rubbing his head hard.

Gauis shook his head.

"Really, Merlin, she's in shock.  Do not judge her so harshly."

Merlin muttered something about other harsh things he could do as he left Gauis to his work and moved over to stand behind Morgana.

That was all he could bring himself to do, though.  She just kept staring straight ahead, making no acknowledgment of Merlin's presence.  

Screwing up his courage, Merlin finally knelt beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Morgana?" he asked.  No response.  He gently shook her.

"Morgana, it's Merlin."

"Merlin?" Morgana croaked out.  Merlin almost jumped backwards, but quickly regained his composure as she slowly turned her head to face him.

"Yeah, it's me Morgana."

Her eyes quickly filled with tears as she said, "I'm so sorry, Merlin.  I'm so sorry!"  With that, she burst into tears, hiding her face in her hands.

"Shh, it's alright, you're okay now."

Merlin could feel Gauis staring at the pair of them as Merlin pulled Morgana into his arms, rubbing circles on her back.

"I c-can't believe that h-he's d-dead!"

Merlin made eye contact with Gauis, who was staring at him in the same shock Merlin felt.  Continuing to sooth her, Merlin tried to refocus.

"You didn't wish him dead?"

Morgana pulled away from him so quickly, Merlin almost toppled over.  Her eyes were wild and wide.

"Of course not!  How could you think that of me?!"

Merlin's mouth was agape as Morgana shouted in his face.  Almost immediately as she got the words out, Morgana fell silent, slumping once more.

"Of course you would think that of me," Morgana said softly as she stared down at her lap.  "I left you to die once, didn't I?"

Merlin shut his mouth at that.  The room was silent save for Morgana's quiet whimpers.  Gauis had paused his work, pestle hovering over a forgotten mortar.

"I forgive you, Morgana."

CLANG.  Merlin and Morgana both nearly jumped, turning their heads so fast they could have gotten whiplash to stare at a rather embarrassed looking Gauis.

"Sorry, my bad!" Gauis said as he bent down to retrieve the stone he had dropped.  Merlin shook his head in fondness, eyes going to the fire.

"How could you, Merlin?"

Merlin looked back at Morgana.  Her tears had stopped, yes, but she looked just as lost.  His heart truly ached for her, whatever she had done in the past.

"Because you're my friend, Morgana," Merlin said, reaching to take her hands in his own.  He gave them a comforting squeeze as he offered her a smile.  "And because I know what it's like to be alone."

Morgana gave him a sad look, but Merlin ignored it.

"And Arthur has forgiven you as well.  I want you to know that, Morgana," he said.

Morgana was avoiding his gaze, her eyes darting round the room.  She looked like she was trying to speak but each time, she gave a little gasp.

"How could he-after all I've done- he should hate me!" she was muttering to herself.

"Because, Morgana, Arthur loves you," Merlin said, pulling her off the stool she was perched on to sit with him.  "He'll never give up on you, no matter what.  And neither will we, your friends."  Merlin gestured to Gauis, who was watching the pair with that weird sparkle in his eye.

Merlin tugged Morgana's hands once more to draw her focus to him.

"We love you, Morgana.  Don't let the hate consume you, please."

That was all it took for Morgana to fall into Merlin's arms, wailing as she clung to him.  The entire time, Merlin held her, finally letting his own tears fall and join hers.

"You seem to be taking this all rather well." Merlin looked up from the book he had been pouring over.  Gauis was staring in Merlin's doorway, hands crossed behind his back.  Merlin sat up on his bed, moving over to make room for his guardian to sit.

"Yeah, I suppose so," he said as Gauis joined him.  He could feel that stare again...

He looked at Gauis, who's eyebrows shot up.

"So Arthur is to lift the ban on magic."

"Yes."

"Quite a lot of change, don't you think?"

"Mhm."

"And just how are we feeling about that right now, Merlin?"

Merlin turned away, letting his gaze slip as he tried to tune it all out.  He really didn't want to be thinking about this right now.

"-lin.  Merlin... Merlin!"

Merlin blinked, crashing back into reality.  A very snowy reality, it seemed.  Cursing to himself, Merlin quickly dispersed the cloud he had accidentally conjured with a few muttered words and a wave of his hand.

"Sorry," he mumbled, but Gauis just shook his head.

"It's alright, my boy," he said.  "I'm sure this is a lot for you."

"But what am I supposed to do, Gauis?" Merlin finally blurted out, letting himself face the surprised looking physician.

"Whatever do you mean, Merlin?"

Merlin couldn't help but tug at his hair, he almost felt mad.

"How can I tell him?  That I betrayed him?!  That I lied to him?!  Gauis, I've lied this entire time, and now it must come out... how could I hurt him so?"

Merlin bent over, elbows to knees as he hung his head.

He felt Gauis's comforting arm on his back, hugging him.

"Oh, Merlin," Gauis sighed.  "You've only done what was right.  Arthur will come to understand that."

"But he's never known who I really am, Gauis, and now I've let him fall in love!"

"Merlin," Gauis said, gently shaking the small man.  "Do you really think that magic is the only defining feature of who you are?"

Merlin looked back up at Gauis with a frown.  He shrugged.

"I suppose I never thought about it before."

Gauis chuckled, shaking his head.

"Merlin, above all else, you are a soul of light and kindness.  THat will never change, with or without magic."

Merlin once more was sent into a spinning daze as he hung on to those words.

"Thank you, Gauis," he heard himself say.  "I think I'll be getting to bed now."

Merlin registered the dwindling footsteps, the door shutting, and the silence.

Falling on to his back, Merlin stared up at the ceiling, pondering Gauis's words.  Merlin knew that he was a good person.  Of course he was, he was going to help whoever needed it no matter what.  Was that the part that Arthur loved?

Trying to riddle it out, Merlin eventually couldn't take it anymore, shooting to his feet and rushing out of his room.

NIght had fallen quicker than Merlin had realized.  Weaving his way through the castle halls, Merlin's mind was spinning.  He barely paused as he rushed past a set of guards, who all gave him a funny look he ignored.

Finally rounding the corner, Merlin stopped right outside of Arthur's chamber doors.  Breathing heavily from his speed walk, stood still for several moments with his hand on the door handle. 

Finally mustering up the corage, Merlin pushed through the doors, stepping once more into Arthur's chambers.  Slowly making his way to the edge of the bed where Arthur slept, Merlin could feel his heart thundering in his chest.  He wasn; t sure if he was ready for this.  Sitting down on the side of the bed, Merlin stared at Arthur, who was blissfully asleep.

Merlin bit his lip as he place his hand over Arthur's heart.

"Arthur," he whispered into the dark.  "Arthur, wake up."

"Wha-was happening-Merlin?!" Arthur shot straight up, head whipping back and forth as he looked for a sign of danger.  "Merlin!" Arthur's eyes widened.  "What the hell are you doing here?"

Merlin ignored the annoyance coming from Arthur, he was too distracted.  Biting his lip again, he looked away to stare out the window.

"Merlin?"

Merlin closed his eyes at Arthur's voice, now sounding concerned.  He felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Arthur, why do you love me?"

Merlin spoke these words into the moonlight leaking through the window.  He couldn't bare to direct them towards Arthur.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Arthur said as he let out a snort.  "You been at the ale again this evening?"

Merlin brushed off the hand that had gone to tousle his hair, glaring at Arthur, who dropped his tease at once.

"What, you're serious?"

"Well, yes."

Arthur frowned, but Merlin did not budge.  His knew it looked like he was angry with Arthur, but that wasn't the case at all.  Merlin was furious with himself.  He needed to hear once and for all that Arthur had made a mistake.

"I love you because you are a light."

Merlin's brain did not compute.  Was Arthur serious?

"I love you because you treated me like a person, not a prince."

"Soon to be king."

Arthur chuckled at that.

"Yeah," he said.  "Suppose so."  Arthur shifted closer to Merlin, taking Merlin's thin hands in his large ones.  "Merlin, I love you because not only do you help me see my wrongdoings, you also help me to believe in myself."

"You're quite special, you know," said Arthur, lifting his hand to brush away the hair from Merlin's forehead.  Merlin pulled a face at that.

"You said that without laughing," he pointed out, the tension that had been built up in his body starting to melt away.

Arthur laughed again, pulling Merlin into his chest.  Merlin finally let himself go, letting himself embrace the man he loved.  Maybe, just this once, Merlin could allow himself to believe that Arthur loved him as much as he did Arthur.

"I love you, Merlin."

Merlin felt Arthur's breath tickling the hair at the back of his neck.  Merlin squeezed Arthur as tightly as he could.

"And I you, Arthur."

"Could we get one thing straight?" Arthur said suddenly, pulling away to lay back and grin at Merlin from his pillow.

"You came to my room in the dead of night for some sappy love confessions?  Honestly, Merlin, you really are such a girl."

Merlin let out his own laugh at that, letting himself flop onto the bed next to Arthur.

"I don't hear you denying it, Merlin."

"And I don't hear you complaining, sire."

Arthur let out one more snort of laughter before he fell quiet.

Merlin stared at Arthur as they lay there.  He was all pale as the moonlight danced over his skin.  Merlin couldn't help but let his eyes trace muscular arms, a broad chest, golden hair, and those stunning ocean-like eyes.  Said eyes were currently bearing into Merlin's soul.

Merlin blushed, his insides squirming as he looked away.

"You getting shy on me, Merlin?"

Merlin forced himself to meet Arthur's eyes with a bashful smile, causing Arthur to smirk.  

"Stay the night with me?"

Was Merlin's face on fire?  It sure felt like it.

"But-I-what-do you mean-what," Merlin sputtered, scooching further away from Arthur on the bed.

"What?  No!  Merlin, I didn't mean it like that," Arthur sighed following Merlin and grabbing the smaller man.  Merlin felt like he was paralyzed as he was turned around so that his back was to Arthur's chest.

"I just, like having you here, okay?" Arthur whispered in his ear.  Merlin shivered, and nodded as Arthur pulled the many layers of covers over them.  Merlin was finding it difficult to relax and fall asleep, all pressed up against a bare-chested Arthur.

Merlin suddenly jerked as he felt something grab him from under the blankets!

"Jeez Merlin, calm down."

Merlin sighed and relaxed, finally recognizing Arthur's hand wrapping around his waist, pulling Merlin's back to his chest.  Merlin let his body relax, unclenching his muscles to release the tension he had been holding.  Arthur was really warm...

Merlin's last memory of the night was a soft breath on his neck and being pulled even closer towards Arthur, as though the king was trying to pull Merlin into his soul.

"I love you."

Chapter Text

Merlin shuffled uncomfortably in his new coat.  It was rather itchy and stiff.  Merlin had complained to Arthur, asking why he couldn't wear his normal clothes, but the man had just scoffed at him and told him to stop being such a girl.

Where was that prat anyway?  Of course he was late, leaving Merlin and all the rest of the kingdom to sit and stew in the boiling throne room.  Light was hitting Merlin directly in the eye, and his forehead was shiny with sweat.  If only his royal ass could show, then this could all be over and Merlin could rest.

Just then, the great doors swung open.  Merlin tried to keep himself composed.

Walking down the eilse of the great throne room was Arthur, all dressed in his most beautiful velvet robes, his long, red cape sweeping the floor.  And on his arm was no other than Morgana Pendragon.

Merlin had to fight down the tears threatening to fall, so instead he smiled. 

As the pair walked down the eilse, the hundreds of the people of Camelot that had gathered bowed low.  Finally reaching the front, Merlin didn't budge when Gauis and the other's around him knelt.  Arthur turned to glare at Merlin, while Morgana gave a grateful laugh.  Arthur, turning to marvel at his sister's joy, missed Merlin dropping to his knees, and had to chuckle himself when he looked back up and noticed his manservant kneeling.

Merlin grinned to himself as the pair passed, standing up with the crowd as they ascended the steps to the dauis.  Geoffry was waiting there, standing just in front of the thrones as the two knelt.  

"Will you solumly promise and swear to govern the peoples of camelot according to their respective laws and customs?" Geoffry said, his voice ringing throughout the chamber.

"I solemly swear so to do."

"As do I."

Merlin couldn't help it as the tears began to fall.  He just continued beaming at his best friends in pride.

"Will you, to your power, cause law and justice in mercy to be executed in all your judgements?"

"I will."

"Then, by the sacred law vested in me-" Merlin's breath caught in his throat.

"I crown you Arthur and Morgana, King and Queen of Camelot."

Merlin was breathless as the newly crowned rulers stood and raised to face their kingdom, hand in hand.  Someone shouted, "Long live the King!  Long live the Queen!" and Merlin couldn't help but let out a watery laugh and join in.

And then Arthur's eyes locked on Merlin's.  Again, Merlin felt like he was unable to breath as his prince- no, his king- stared into Merlin's soul as he chanted, like a mantra.  Like a prayer.  Like a promise. 

"Long live the King.  Long live the Queen."

Following the crowd out of the throne room, Merlin had to crane his neck and stand on his tip-toes to catch a glimsp of the newly-crowned King and Queen.  He could see Arthur and Morgana at the front of the crowd, muttering to one another as the hundreds of people who had gathered surrounded them.  Merlin watched as Arthur gave Morgana a kiss on the cheek, patted her arm, and then pulled away from her.  Merlin frowned as he watched the king duck out of the way of the chattering crowd and into a quiet corridor.  Slipping away from Gauis, who was standing next to him, Merlin walked the perimeter of the crowd to follow his king.

Merlin found Arthur simply staring out a window.  Nothing more, nothing less.  His back was to Merlin, so the mischevous warlock couldn't help but sneak up and wrap his arms around the King.

"What in the-" Arthur wheeled round, but his shock looked melted into a grin to match Merlin's.  The new King of Camelot then snaked his arms around his manservants waist in return, tugging the smaller man into his chest before leaning down to whipser in his ear.

"Thank you," Arthur said.  Merlin let his eyes close, holding his lover tight.

"I'm proud of you, you know."

"I know."

"Pompous git."

As Arthur let out a laugh, Merlin pulled back from their embrace to look Arthur in the eyes.  Gods, those eyes were going to be the death of him.  So young yet... so old.  Arthur had seen too much.  But then again, hadn't Merlin as well?

Merlin raised a hand to stroke Arthur's cheek.

"You're going to be the greatest king Camelot has ever known," he whispered.  Arthur tilted his head to the side, eyes staring quizzically at Merlin.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Arthur looked almost doubtful.  Merlin frowned at that, seizing that stupidly adorable face and steering it to face his own.

"You have sworn to protect a people who have wronged you.  You have sworn to protect a people who, all your life, you've been against.  You believe in justice, Arthur, and you are going to bring it to be so."

"You really think it's the right thing to do?" Arthur asked.  A smile had begun to form, but Merlin could still see the worry in his eyes.  

Carefully, Merlin leaned forward to kiss each cheek, while whispering, "I know so.  I know it with all my heart."

"Then we shall fix my father's mistakes," said Arthur, suddenly pulling away from Merlin, grabbing his hand, and dragging him down the hallway.  "We will make sure that all of the people feel safe in Camelot.  We will right the wrongs that have been done." He turned to look over his shoulder at Merlin with a grin.

"Together."

Merlin beamed as his heart did a backflip, and nodded.

"Together."