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My name's Jackie Estacado. I'm 21 years old, and I work for the Franchetti Crime Family. I'm in a relationship with a real special girl, her name's Jenny Romano. Beautiful girl. Bartender. Tonight, I was supposed to get some money for Frankie, but when I got there, the money was already gone. When I got home, Frankie gave me a pleasant little call. "You little whore!" The fat prick screamed into my ear, "You can't get anything right, can ya, you stupid little retarded cunt!" Talk about excessive. I never liked it when people called me that, felt personal considering my neurological disorder and all. "Listen, you fat fuck, it ain't my fault Marchianni got the cash first! Listen, tomorrow morning, I'll go to Marchianni's place, beat him to a fucking pulp and I'll get your fuckin' money, alright?!" I yelled. "Trust me, Estacado, you won't get the fuckin' chance!" I hung up on the fuck, not wanting to put up with his bullshit. Few hours later, I was woken up by a knock at my door. Opening the door, I saw one of Frankie's guys. Didn't see him for long though, cause he blasted my whole ass head off with his shotgun. Next thing I knew, I was eatin' his fucking guts! Then I ate his fucking liver, stomach, kidneys, the whole package! When I walked into the hallway, I heard some sorta demonic screeching, then I started vomiting ink or some shit! "Stay away from the light, Jackie! Stay in the shadows!" What the fuck was happening to me?! Heard the hitman's StarTAC phone ringing, so I decided to do a little detective work, if ya get my meaning. "Sonny, did you get the little mentally crippled fucker?" Frankie asked. "Why dontcha-" I was cut off by another load of that inky shit comin' outta me (Phrasing, boom). "Why dontcha take a fucking guess, ya cunt? Your hitman blasted my fucking head off, but somehow it's grown back.. Explain how that works, ya little rat! Oh, and... fair warning," I pause to cough, "when I get my fucking hands on you, I'll tear you apart, limb by limb, and I'll keep you from dying, Frankie-Boy!" That weren't me. Sounded nothing like me, in fact. "Oh god no..." I heard Frankie mutter to himself. "Whaddya mean by that?!" I demanded. "Listen, Jacqueline, you gotta find these guys called The Dark Brotherhood, okay?! They'll make ya normal again!" I could practically taste the fear in his voice. Smashin' the phone, I heard my own ring. "This is Jackie, can I ask who I'm speaking to?" I slurred, still tryna get over what just fuckin' happened. "Jackie, you said you'd come by the bar! It's almost time for our celebration. Already reserved the place for us. Remember Giancarlo? Well, he's making you a cake! It's your favorite, chocolate with caramel and melted marshmallows!" I smiled. "Listen, Jen, I might be a little late. Can't say why, but it's bad. And... Gross as fuck, so you won't wanna know, babe." She giggled. That girl always cheers me up, even when I just fucking died and ate a guys guts. Can't deny though, human flesh tastes kinda nice. "Alright, Jackie. Just make sure you get here tonight. I've already bought that drink you wanted to celebrate finally being legal!" Sweet girl. If only she knew just how crazy the night had been so far. 

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"Jackie! You made it! You sounded like a zombie when I called you, Christ. At least you're okay!" I smiled at her. "Yep. Same old me. How's the new apartment, Jenny?" I asked. "It's cozy. Kinda lonely, though. Hey, maybe after the party, you can come over to my place! Maybe I'll give you a present, too." She said, with the last part being spoken in such a seductive tone that no man - that is, a transgender one like me - could avoid getting wet, other than a homosexual, that is. "Jesus Christ, Jackie!" She said, laughing. "Hey, it's perfectly natural! You can't get upset at a guy! I mean, I bet you're gettin' the chick version of it right now! That is a thing, right? I'm kidding, Jenny, I don't mean to sound like a creep." I clarified. "You sound nervous. Something wrong?" She asked, concerned. "Well, yeah. But I don't wanna worry you." I whispered. "Just wanna make sure you're okay is all, Jack." She responded, sounding tired. "Anyway, Giancarlo boxed up the cake and delivered it to my place, the booze is there too." I laughed. "I thought we were having a party?" I asked. "Yeah, but it's late and I'm tired as fuck." Same old Jenny, never sugarcoating things. 

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"She reeks of innocence!" Exclaimed that damn voice. "You okay, Jackie?" She asked, bringing me back to reality. Damn irresponsible of me, drivin' with all this shit goin' on. "Oh, yeah. Don't worry about me." I reassured her, lying. "Hey, what's that?" She asked. "What's what, baby?" "That glowing thing in the sky." She responded. "Well that's... I don't know. Maybe a meteor, or-" I was cut off by the car exploding. After the explosion, I felt horrible. "Jackie?" Jenny asked, weakened by the explosion. "Jenny, it's okay, I'm right-" I began, getting impaled before I could finish my sentence. "Jackie!" She cried. "Jackie is gone! There's no hope for him now. Let's just hope he doesn't have an offspring. If he does survive, Franchetti can have you." Said an almost otherworldly, British accented female. When I woke up, Jenny was gone. So was that thing. "She was a burden. This is freedom!" It proclaimed. "Not for long, you sunova bitch!" I yelled, grabbing the gun I'd dropped. "Jackie, no! It's not your time! Cannot! Must not!" It beckoned. "Hasta la vista, bastard!" I said, before firing the bullet at myself.

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I was woken up by some German guy screaming. I could smell death on 'em. When I opened my eyes, I saw some sorta zombie thing. "And what're you supposed to be, big boy?" I taunted. The thing just screamed even louder. Shot 'em, devoured 'is heart. Makin' my way through the trenches, I found more. Decided not to eat the second one's heart, though. Big mistake. The thing got back up. So that's their weakness. When I got outta the trenches, I heard that voice. "Jackie, I fixed your broken head ball." Then a plane or somethin' crashed into me. 

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"Jesus Christ! He's got a massive hole in 'em, Jimmy!" That was the first thing I heard after The Darkness 'fixed my broken head ball'. "It's fine, Johnny! He's opening his eyes!" Jimmy responded. Good ol' Jimmy The Grape and Johnny Powell. "Jesus fuckin' Christ, Jackie! What's wrong with you?! Pulling a stunt like that?! We- we thought you were f-f-f-fuckin' dead!" Johnny said, panicked. "Yeah, I get that. I did too." I answered, weakly. "Oh, by the way, Frankie paged ya. Says him and Captain Romano are waitin' with Jenny at City Hall Station. We'd love to help, Jackie, we really would, but Eddie's guys just beat the shit outta us." Jimmy explained. "Thanks, you guys." So it was off to CHS I went. When I reached the platform Frankie and Eddie were waitin', I saw Jenny tied to a chair, with tape over her mouth. The Darkness went all fuckin' Revolver Ocelot on me, forcin' me to watch Eddie blow 'is own fuckin' sisters brains out! "Jackie... We're free! Now unleash me upon the innocent, for-" The Darkness said, getting interrupted by me. "Shut the fuck up! This wouldn't be happenin' if it wasn't for you! I hate you! Why did it have to be me?! WHY?!" I screamed. "NYPD, put your hands where I can see 'em, Estacado!" The cop said. "I said put your fucking hands up, you stubborn prick! Don't just stare at me like a fucking retard!" The light smashed. "What the fuck?!" He yelled, panicking. "Was that you, ya fucking idiot?!" I just laughed. "You ain't afraid of the dark, are ya?" I asked. "What?" The cop asked, before immediately getting impaled. "AT LAST, I FEED!" I roared, finally embracing The Darkness. 

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Drug dealers. Rapists. Traffickers. All are The Bane Of Evil. Rapists, especially. They fuckin' traumatise their goddamn victims, as if deciding 'welp, time to sexually assault some innocent person' wasn't enough for those fucks. But God, you don't know how lucky and angry I felt when I saw a deal between four guys. A drug dealer, a rapist, a CHILD RAPIST, a human trafficker, and a CHILD TRAFFICKER! Horrible! Demented! Evil! The perfect example of what is to be fed upon. Plagued, yet somewhat tender cattle. This was a feast to remember! Once I'd left it down to the worst of them all, the ones who go after kids, one of 'em had the nerve to ask me why I was doing this. Pathetic peasants. "Hai mai amato qualcuno che era così bello e puro da non poter sopportare di mostrare loro la tua stessa oscurità?" I asked, speaking the mother tongue, the superior language of the world. Guess I must've seen one of these fuckers before, cause he recognized my voice. "Holy shit! That's Jackie fuckin' Estacado!" He screamed. I laughed, summoning darklings to restrain them. "Perché ho amato qualcuno così. L'amavo così tanto, che quando sono diventato il nemico di mio padre, lui l'ha uccisa!" I yelled, recognizing them as Frankie's men. "And you wanna know why you can't get away from me? Perché per come la vedo io, non vale la pena fare un lavoro se non lo fai bene." I whispered, before slashing their vocal cords. There were some kids locked in cages. I decided to send away The Darkness for now. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna need you to trust me, and tell me where ya live, so I can take ya home. Okay?" I asked, gently. "Hey, Jackie. You need some help gettin' em home? Y'know, so they don't have to see you-know-what?" Jimmy asked. "Jimmy, you coulda helped deal with those guys." I responded. "Yeah, well, I just got here, so..." He laughed. "I'm kiddin' Jim. Sure, I'll take all the help I can get."

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Chinatown. You're not here anymore. I try to remember you, but I only get the stupid shit. Your wallpaper, the smell in the hallway. It's like my own mind is against me. I'm sorry. It's my fault you're gone. There's nothin' I can do about it now, though. Other than killing that (excuse my language) grasso bastardo del cazzo. You probably wouldn't advocate for such violence, but... I can't help it. It's in my nature. I love you, yet at the same time I wish we'd never met. 

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My pager beeped, alertin' me to the fact that I had a new message. The message said: "Jackie, I heard Frankie's put a hit on you. Come and see me at the usual spot. - Butcher". Butcher Joyce was one of the people who didn't exactly work under the Franchetti Crime Family, but was mainly hired for work by 'em. When I got to the slaughterhouse that Butch had set up shop in (he always did have a sense of humor, as he proved in his greeting), "Hey, Jackie Chan." He chuckled. (See?) "Hey, Butch. So, what've ya got for me?" I asked. "Since Frankie's after you, then you probably wanna kill him. But I have a better plan. How about you bring down his business? Then, well, then you can off him. Why don't you start with Dutch Oven Harry? He's close by." Butch said. "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. But I've met Dutch Oven Harry, he always wears military-grade armor. What do I do?" I asked. "I've already planned ahead, don't you worry Jackie. Your Aunt Sarah lives in a house on the way to Harry's place. She has the stuff you'll need. And stop discarding your guns when they're empty." He requested. "Trust me, Butch. When Jenny got me these 1911s, I stopped." 

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Eddie fuckin' Romano. Your brother. He lived around the corner from the station. Had to fuckin' maneuver across the vents 'n' shit. Had to shoot my way through the whole fuckin' NYPD! When I got to the roof of the station, he was in a fuckin' chopper. No searchlight. My lucky day. I grabbed him outta the copter, threw him onto the ground (as in, the roof, not the actual asphalt streets), then beat the shit outta him. "W-wait! Look, I've got a lotta money! If I give you some, will you get off my back?!" He asked, scared. "Shut the fuck up, you little piggy. Why don't ya go roll in the mud?" I taunted, before shooting him. He died on impact.

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Right after I killed that dirty bastard, the chopper crashed into me. I guess it makes sense, what with Eddie bein' the one who was flyin' the damn thing. Anyway, after the crash, I ended up right back in World War 2. Only, this time, I was in some fuckin' church. "Holy shit, Jackie! Hell, you're a sight for sore eyes!" Said the soldier who was watchin' me. "Who the hell are you? Where am I? Am I dead again?" I asked. "Woah, woah. One question at a time, pal. I'm your great-grandfather, Antonio Estacado, but you can call me Anthony or Tony. Secondly, you're in Europe. Third, you're dead again, yes. However, you should be focusing on something else, not how to get out. I think I know how to control The Darkness. See, there's this bunker just north of this village, in the hills. Now, according to mythology, there you'll find a katana, that's a ninja sword if you didn't know, but you won't be able to grab it. You're right-handed, right?" He responded. "Nah, I can write with both my hands." I answered. "Oh. Well, whichever hand is best, use it to tear off your other hand. But only when you've found the katana. Your hand should turn into the katana. Then, you can focus on getting back to earth. You're welcome." He said, openin' the door. When I got to the bunker, I started seein' shit. Like the time Johnny dared me to ask you out, which I did. You said no, because we were kids, accordin' to you. I said I didn't care since Johnny told me to. Then, I saw you gettin' killed, me killin' the guy who shot my head off (which, if you didn't know, looked fuckin' awesome from the spectators view), The Angelus attackin' us and me killin' Eddie. Then, I saw the katana that Tony told me about. "All right. Here goes nothin'." I said to myself. "No, Jackie! You must not! I am your master! You cannot have control!" The Darkness screeched. Then, I ripped my hand off. Well, I say hand, but I ripped off the bottom half of my elbow too. Then, it turned into the katana, like Tony said. Buncha Darklin' hordes attacked me, so I decided to test the sword out. Killed em all pretty quickly. A green glow appeared, so I walked into it. On the other side, I ended up in some sorta dungeon. "Ah, the ubiquitous Jackie Estacado. I've been waiting for you." The dark figure at the other end of the room said. "And who the fuck are you?" I asked, now wearin' my Darkness Armor, holdin' up my sword. "I am that sword. The very armor you wear. I am what you carry. I am The Darkness. As you know, I can be used for destruction. But what you don't know, is that I can be used for creation. I could create what you desire." It said, before creatin' another you. "Jackie?" 'You' asked. "Jenny!" I responded. "Is this real? Are you really alive?" I asked. "Yes, of course Jackie! Please, take me home." 'You' requested. "Ah, young love. However, the sad truth is... Life ends. Love dies. Strike me down! Now!" It demanded, after killin' 'You'. I didn't hesitate. Then, everything went dark. 

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AND

So when I come to, I'm layin' in the apartment you never got to show me. Crazy, I know. Anyway, I lay there for a while, tryna get some shrapnel outta my skull and my guts back in my body. When I'm done with those, I fall asleep. Then, some detective walks in, tryin' to arrest me. "Sara Pezzini, NYPD. You're under arrest. If you attempt to resist arrest, I am authorized to kill." She said. "Nice to meet ya, Sara. I'm Jackie. Y'know, it's often looked down upon to target someone when they're mournin'. But what do I know? I'm just some small-time thug stealin' money fer my mama's life-savin' surgery." I lied, or maybe I was jokin'. I don't know. "You're not fooling anybody, Estacado. You're a killer. You've killed the police captain, for God's sake!" She exclaimed. "Yeah? So? He was a corrupt bastard. And you of all people should know, detective, that Eddie killed 'is own defenceless fuckin' sister!" I responded. "That doesn't justify killing him, or the others who have fallen to your destructive nature! Now, you either come with me, or-" She said, getting interrupted by me headbuttin' the bitch, before runnin' through the wall (sorry about that, Jen). "Jesus Christ! I warned you, Estacado! Now I'm gonna have to kill you!" She exclaimed, with her broken nose makin' her sound like she had a fuckin' cold. "Please fuckin' do! I'd rather be in the afterlife with Jenny than runnin' from some bitch!" I yelled. She just rolled her eyes, before she sat down on the floor. For some reason, I ran across the Broadway rooftops, before comin' to my senses, turnin' around and headin' fer Lower East Side. When I got there, some sorta kinky chick in this weird revealin' armor kicked me. "Look, lady, you're hot, but I'm not a masochist." I joked. "If you're not a masochist, Estacado," She responded, "Then why did you run from me? And why did you tell me to kill you?" She asked. "Holy shit! Sara? Sara Pezzini? Holy shit, I thought I killed you! Listen, I'm sorry for breakin' yer nose! Holy shit, you look sexy!" I laughed. "Charming as ever, Estacado. But flattery regarding my objectionable armor will do nothing for you. Now then, do you have anything you want to admit before I kill you?" She asked. "Yeah. I just wanted to say that I'm... I'm... I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!" I responded, rippin' off my arm again and summonin' my Darkness Armor. "So you really are the new host of The Darkness." She said, horrified. "Come on, are you really surprised? How do you think I've made it this far without a little... Divine intervention?" I responded, laughin'. "I've heard rumors, but I never thought it was true, I-" She said, before I punched her. "No! Stop! You'll kill me!" She begged, but I just laughed. "Oh, how the tables turn, Detective Pezzini. Are you going to cry? Call for backup, perhaps? Considering how much damage I've done, a few more officers would be a delicious feast!" I taunted, then I kicked her in the head, knockin' her out. As a result, the armor she was wearing had disappeared, leavin' her lyin' on the roof, completely fuckin' naked (nice fuckin’ dick, Sara). And, remember, she was unconscious, too. Now, I know what you're thinkin', and no, I'm not that kinda guy. "Shit. Get outta here, Darkness. I'm takin' her to the hospital, whether you like it or not." I said. "I'm not going to stop you, Jackie. But I think, for your sake, that you should clothe her before you do that. Otherwise, she'll be getting some... Accusations." The Darkness said. "So now you're helpin' me?" 

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AND

So I'm just sittin' here, with Detective Sara Pezzini of the New York Police Department layin' on a fuckin' hospital bed. I've just beaten the shit outta the poor girl on a fuckin' rooftop like the absolute retard I am, and now I'm sittin' here to make sure she's okay. So, she woke up. "You? Why are you here? I thought you would've preferred to stay alive." She mumbled. Poor thing musta thought I killed her. "Yep. I did stay alive. You survived the kick." I explained. "So you brought me here? To the hospital? Why?" She asked. "Well, when I knocked you out, your armor disappeared, and you weren't wearin' anythin'." I explained. "Thank you, Jackie. You're not so bad. I'm sorry for trying to kill you." She responded. "It's fine. Oh, and you might start feelin' some pain soon. Doctors said it's normal. So, y'know, when that happens, don't piss your panties. I don't carry spares." I joked, laughin'. She laughed too. "Can I?" I asked. "Can you what?" She replied. "Can I move your hair outta your face?" I asked. "Sure." She said, smilin'. After I moved her hair, I took a good look at her face. She looked like you, Jenny. So, that's why I need you to forgive me for kissin' her. She pushed me so hard that I fell right on my fuckin' ass. Lucky nobody was there, else I'd've been humiliated. "Jesus Christ, Jackie!" She exclaimed. "That's a reasonable reaction, Sara. I'm sorry."

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AND

Bullets. Blood. Cries. Someone was attackin' the hospital, an' they had a target. Me. But then, why were they killin' everyone else? To make sure they got me? Leave no witnesses? Whatever the case, I had to get Pez outta there. But before I could, I'd need to clear a path. Takin' out my handguns, I noticed that there were two groups: Frankie's guys, and the SWAT. They were workin' together. No doubt the cops were workin' for Eddie before he died, and wanted revenge. Found a grenade. Lucky me. I threw it, and it killed 'em all. Destroyed the lights, too. Oh boy. "Jackie. It's time." The Darkness said. I knew what it meant. I used it. For some reason, my voice just sounded like a growl, sometimes a hiss. Other than that, it was my normal voice. It's strange because, usually, I sound exactly like The Darkness. "Pez, it's me. Ya think you can walk?" I asked, since she had recently awoken from being sedated by the nurses. She shook her head. I put her in a wheelchair. Had to turn this floor's generator back on to use the elevator. Thank God the doors were armored. When I got the cop into the elevator, she grabbed my arm. "Gimme a gun, Hutch." She requested, referencin' Starsky an' Hutch. I picked up a gun from the prick that was in the elevator. "Thanks." She said. I didn't react. When the elevator doors opened, she shot every one of 'em in the head. She really was New York's Finest. Soon, she regained the ability to walk. She didn't hesitate to drive off. "Jackie. I think I know how you can control The Darkness completely. I don't how to explain it, but you'll need to get back to the church." Tony said. Happy to oblige, Pops.

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"Jackie? You okay" Tony asked. "Yeah, Pops. I'm fine. I just don't think I'll be comin' back here a fourth time." I responded. "No need to, Jackie. You're coming with me. See that castle on that hill? That's where The Darkness lives. The castle is made by The Darkness."

When we got to the castle, The Darkness killed Tony. "Pops!" I cried, seein' him impaled. "Go, Jackie. Take my-" He coughed blood. "My journal. It'll tell you everything I know about The Darkness..." He said, dying afterwards. I read the journal. Had to put The Darkness into a corpse, then absorb it? Either way, I did that.

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Here I was, standin' at Frankie's private dock, behind his manor. It was on an isolated island, a little bigger than what a lighthouse would be on, so Butch had to hook me up. It was Noon, so you would expect me to be easy to kill. Only, it was a solar eclipse. My power was hyper-charged. I could create bullets inside the magazines of my Handguns, SMGs and Assault Rifles, and create shells inside my shotgun! I literally couldn't die. But enough about my powers. Let's get to the events.

After walkin' off the dock, I was walkin' up a stone staircase, when suddenly a light smashed. I heard Frankie's guys runnin' towards me. "Let's fuckin' go." I said, activatin' The Darkness. I ate the first three guys alive, then I used my Handguns to kill the next two, before turning one guy into SpongeBob fuckin' Squarepants with my SMGs, then I absolutely annihilated the next four with my shotgun, before killin' another thirty with my AK-47 and M4, all akimbo an' shit. After that, guns seemed borin' so I fought the pricks unarmed. Fun. After killin' the last few guys keepin' me out, I opened the door into the manor. "Estacado, you piece 'a' shit! You think you can come into MY home, kill MY people?! Kill 'er, you retards!" Frankie yelled, running away. "Come on, fellas. You heard Frankie. Ya gotta kill me." I taunted, killing them all. Then, I cornered Frankie. "Fuck you, you fuckin' backstabbin' piece 'a' shit! I give you everything I have and THIS is how you fuckin' thank me?!" He screamed. I killed him.

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Openin' my eyes, I see your face. "About time, Jackie." You say, laughin'. I don't reply, I just keep starin' into your beautiful green eyes. "Jenny... I'm sorry. If it weren't for me, you'd still be alive. I hope you can forgive me." I say. "Jackie, I can't forgive you. You're not at fault here. There's always a little light in The Darkness. Try to make that light win, ok?" You ask. "Am I dreamin'?" "Yes, Jackie. Wake up."