Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Adamant, how long does it take for you to fully transfer your power to Phosphophyllite?”

Calculations raced through Adamant’s head. His body was now Lunarian, but his mind was still as sharp as a machine’s.

“About ten thousand years.”

Enma sighed in response, and Adamant could tell he was trying to hide his disappointment. After thousands of years of waiting, he now faced several thousand more. So close, and yet so far to go. Adamant wished it hadn’t come to this, but at least it would be worth it this time. Phosphophyllite would not fail him. Phosphophyllite was not broken.

As Enma regained his composure and started addressing the crowd of former gems with a speech, Kongo’s attention was pulled away by a tug on his sleeve. It was Antarc.

“Sensei,” He whispered frantically. “What is going on? What happened to Phos? Is he alone on Earth? Why-”

“I’ll explain it all in time.” Adamant replied, cutting off the worried questions. “I promise.”

He gently placed his arm on Antarc’s shoulder and listened as Enma declared peace. The former gems would share the moon with the Lunarians. All hostilities between them were over. It was news he had been waiting to hear for a long, long time. He did not want Antarc to worry right now.

Phosphophyllite was alone, but he wouldn’t be alone forever. Adamant was sure of it.

"And so, until the new divine completes his path, have a pleasant ten thousand years."

It was spring again. The sun was shining in the clear sky and the last of the ice floes had long since melted away. The various plants and insects returned from their winter slumber and the land was alive with the sounds of tiny wings and the wind through the grass.

But to Phos, the world was silent. The world was dead.

It hadn't always been so quiet. Back when the Lunarians had first left him alone on the beach, the world had been too loud. Vision after vision clouded his mind until he could see nothing but destruction and hear nothing but distant screams. He knew what they were, they were humans. This was their city. Their city that was destroyed over and over before his very eyes, only to rebuild itself from dust to start the cycle anew. He screamed with them until their screams could be heard no more.

Then, there was nothing. The visions were gone and Phos was alone again. Alone with his thoughts. He thought about what he had done, who he had hurt, and cried until he ran out of alloy to cry with.

He had stared at the moon for a long time in silence. Asking it. Begging it. Waiting for it to come and take him away too.

Days upon days passed and nobody came for him. Phos didn't know what to do, so he returned to the school. He looked for the gems again, even though he knew it was pointless. When he didn't find them, he started the search over from the beginning and took turns sleeping in each of their rooms when he grew tired.
He missed them. He didn't remember why he used to hate them.

Phos left the school and the thought of gems behind and refused to return.

He began walking along the shore, looping around the land in endless circles, looking for something, anything of interest to distract himself from reality. He watched the insects in the air, and the flowers in the fields until he grew bored of both. Some days he stood for hours on the edge of one of the cliffs, thinking of jumping into the cold water below and letting the waves take him away. Phos wasn't sure what had kept him from doing it. Maybe it was knowing that he could never truly die. Maybe it was his desire to be happy.

The visions would come and go, some stronger than others. He saw different cities and heard different screams. A thousand voices asked him to pray. He'd curl into a ball and cover his ears until his tired body forced him into sleep.

When he awoke, the visions were gone, and he started walking again. He wore a path through the sand with his footsteps and left a trail of dead grass in the wake of his mercury. He walked until he was pulled into sleep again. Seasons passed but Phos forgot to count the years, or even keep track of what had changed. Everything looked the same, every day.

He became so used to the sounds of the world that not even the ice floes could wake him anymore. Phos slept all through winter, and sometimes through spring. Until finally he decided it wasn't worth waking up anymore.

He slept through the year, and the year after that, and every year since. He watched the cities burn in his dreams.

Nothing would ever wake him again.

He was still sleeping now, dead to the world as the world was to him. Even as young caterpillars and snails crawled along the shore by his feet. Even as the wind scattered dandelions and seeds across the beach. Life was all around him, but Phos remained motionless. He had seen it all before.

But just then, he heard it. A distant crash. Loud enough to stir him in his sleep. Something heavy, something hard, something new.
Phos slowly opened his eyes, blinking in the bright sunlight. He could feel at least twenty yellow butterflies perched carefully between the clumps of mercury on his hunched back. They were reluctant to flutter away, even as he slowly stood up and brushed the sand from his clothes.

Phos stretched and looked down at his body. The mercury had become more discolored since the last time he had seen it. He didn't know how long he had been asleep this time, had it been five hundred years or merely a few? It had been pointless to count before, and it was pointless now, nothing had changed.

Well, except for the thing that woke him. That was different.

Phos left his usual well-worn path and headed towards the source of the crash. It wasn't from the direction of the school, so there was no need to go back there. He was grateful for that. It couldn't have been just another rock, crumbling from the cliffs, he was well used to that sound. It had to be something new. Or maybe...it had just been a dream. That was possible too.

No visions greeted him today. They had become so infrequent after all this time that he could almost forget he even had the eye. Well, he could if it didn't have a purpose anyway.

"Pray wholeheartedly for happiness."

Phos had tried many, many times over the years and nothing had come of it. No matter what, he felt the same. Maybe it couldn't be done anymore, or maybe, he was just a lost cause. Either way, it was as hopeless of an idea as seeing the gems again.

Didn't someone need me to pray?

Phos didn't know how long he had been walking when he finally saw the bright red light reflected across the rocks by the cliff ahead of him. It could only be from the sun shining down on a gem. Cinnabar. Phos had tried many times to forget his friends, his sensei and his failures. It was the only way to dull the pain in his heart. He avoided the school, Cinnabar's cave, all of it. But he never forgot them. He never forgot his promise to rebuild them. Maybe it wasn't hopeless after all.

Phos ran as fast as he could towards the light, against the heavy weight of the mercury and alloy. Oh, to see Cinnabar again, then everything would be alright. Then he could apologize. Then he could finally be at peace. Phos didn't care if Cinnabar or any of the others hated him, he deserved it. He just had to know if they were okay.

He put on a burst of speed, the light was shining right in front of him, so close he could touch it.

"Cinnabar! You came back for m-" Phos' hoarse voice was cut off as his leg hit something hard in the sand and caused him to trip. He tumbled forwards, landing in a pile of alloy.

Taking a moment to recover his senses, Phos shook himself out of the mess and turned around. Staring back at him was a small piece of pinkish-red gemstone, buried halfway in the sand. It was unpolished, uncut, and worse of all, unfinished.
Phos suddenly remembered where he was. The Chord Shore. Cinnabar wasn't here after all. It was just one of the many half-formed gems that had gathered on the beach over the years.

I'm still alone.

Phos felt the alloy begin to leak from his eyes for the first time in years. He screamed in frustration and collapsed on the sand. Alone, alone, alone. He had never felt this miserable before, he should've just stayed asleep. Why did he ever let himself hope? Phos buried his face in his hands as his sobs rang across the beach. Not even the crashing waves of the sea could drown it out. Even after his cries died down, he stayed frozen in the sand. He didn't want to move ever again, he wanted the sand to bury him right here and leave him to rot.

The sound of the waves faded into the background, everything was becoming meaningless again. But in the silence, he heard something else. Something moving through the sand.

He looked up and was met with the curious face of the red gem. Phos yelped and jumped backward, startled by the other gem's sudden appearance. It had emerged partially from the sand to peer at Phos, who blinked several times to confirm he wasn't imagining things.

It's not unfinished, it's a newborn. A newborn gem.

Phos had never seen one before. They were eyeless and rough, yet cute in their own way. Phos could barely contain his wonder as he reached towards the red gem, who made a small noise and tried to crawl closer to him but was held back by their half-buried body. Phos retracted his hand at the last minute, remembering the deadly mercury.

The wonder quickly turned to fear. What was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to care for them? He was covered head to toe in poison, he destroyed all of his friends and he had failed every single task he had ever been put to.

This is supposed to be Sensei's job, but I destroyed him too.

Phos began to slowly back away from the red gem, a million thoughts racing through his head. He couldn't take care of this gem, but he couldn't just leave them here all alone either. Could he?

He looked down at his hands, and then up at the moon, clenching his fists. He did it before, he could do it again. He could shatter the gem right here and leave it for the Lunarians. They'd come and take it away like they took everyone else, and Phos would never have to think about them again. He could go back to sleep in his spot on the shoreline.

The alloy and mercury twisted out above the young gem's head, who was still trying to free the rest of their legs from the sand. Phos' arms trembled. Just one blow and it'd all be over with, just one blow and he wouldn't have to worry anymore. The newborn, oblivious to what was happening, squeaked in frustration and flopped over in the sand, still stuck. All at once, Phos' resolve crumbled. The alloy melted into pathetic piles of harmless goop as the older gem fell to his knees.

"I can't do it. Not again, I can't hurt you again." Phos whispered, alloy welling up in his eyes again. The red gem merely tilted their head at him and went back to tugging on their half-buried leg. Phos retracted the alloy and picked himself up, sighing. He should've left the other gems alone, that's how it should've been. None of this would've happened if he had just left them alone. The Lunarians could come and take the gem as is, there was no need to hurt it. Phos turned to walk back in the direction he came from, only to see a familiar white figure standing firm in the distance. Antarcticite.

Even after all these years he never forgot that name. He never forgot what Antarc had meant to him. How could he? He knew this was just a hallucination. It had been so long since he had seen one, yet he still recognized the unnatural feeling that never would've come with the real Antarc.

"After all this time, you still have things to tell me?" Phos asked the unmoving figure. It felt strange to use his voice so much after years of silence. Antarc didn't reply, as usual, and continued to stare at Phos. What was he trying to say? Antarc was always saying something. Phos closed his eyes and focused. Something Antarc had said, something that was important...

"Courage."

His eyes flew open, and he met Antarc's gaze with a stare of his own. He could hear the newborn calling for him. Phos looked back to see that they had finally freed themselves and were trying to crawl towards him once more.

"Alright, you win." Phos sighed, a small smile forming on his lips. "If I only do the things I can, I'll never accomplish anything new. That's what you're saying, isn't it, Antarc?"

The vision was gone, leaving him alone with the worrying future ahead. Phos had been waiting for something new, and now it was finally here, whether he liked it or not. He didn't have a single clue on how to raise a gem, but then again, he hadn't had a single clue on how to talk to Lunarians or stop a war either. Still, he tried. He failed but he had tried. This gem needs Phos, so he has to try.

It only now occurred to him that he'd have to take the newborn back to the school somehow.

"J-just stay here, alright?" Phos stammered, gesturing for the red gem to stay put. "I'll be right back with something to carry you with."

They squeaked a response and continued to crawl through the sand. Phos took a deep breath and began the long trek back to the school, going as fast as his body would allow. He didn't want to leave the little one all alone for too long. Wait, all alone. Phos skidded to a halt. The Lunarians. That’s right, if he left the gem alone, the Lunarians would come and take them away. He was sure of it. Phos glared up at the moon, its presence looming over him like a watchful eye.

He wouldn’t let that happen. Not again.

Phos stared at his mercury-infused hands. It would be dangerous to touch the new gem with all this poison, but he couldn't let Aechmea ruin his life again. He could not fail this time. He rushed back towards the shore and threw all regard for safety out the window as he wrapped his arms around the startled red gem, and began to haul them towards the school. It was too much weight for Phos to run with, but at least he could keep the young one close until they reached safety.

It was long past nightfall when the two finally made it to the school. The place was covered in countless cobwebs and a thick layer of dust. Most of the wooden furniture was rotting away and the jellyfish pond was empty and devoid of life, leaving the entire school in darkness. Phos winced. He hadn't meant to leave his home in such a bad state, it had just been too painful to stay. He dragged the gem over to Rutile's old workspace and carefully lifted them onto what remained of the table inside.

With the newborn safe, Phos began to search the school for something to cover his mercury. Was there anything left that would even fit him? He had grown larger over the years to accommodate the mercury on top of the alloy. He remembered Sensei's robe. It was the largest clothes in the entire school bar none, but could he really bring himself to wear it? Then again, it's not like he had any choice, he hadn't the faintest clue on how to sew clothes.

"I suppose I'll have to learn that eventually, even though it's incredibly boring." Phos mused to himself, thinking of the clothes the new gem will need. He missed Red Beryl and wished he could ask the skilled fashion nerd for help instead.

Phos entered Sensei's room and found the old robe stashed away in the corner, left behind and forgotten by the Lunarians, just like Phos had been. He carefully slipped on the heavy robe, finding it baggy on his shoulders. After finding and putting on a matching pair of gloves, he returned to the infirmary to see the young gem curled up on the table asleep. Phos gathered up as many of Rutile's old tools as he could find and began to scrape away the bits of mercury on the newborn's body.

Thankfully, the damage was not as bad as he thought it would be.

The young gem woke up with a quiet grunt and nearly rolled off the table in protest of the surgery. Phos knew he had to be quick and carve their body so they could move properly, but did he even know how to do that? The books containing such information had probably rotted away by now. If only Sensei and Rutile were here. Phos shuddered and remembered the way Rutile had threatened to shatter him. Okay, maybe just Sensei.

Phos pictured the typical gem body in his head as accurately as he could, and shakingly lifted one of the carving tools. While he chipped away at the red gem, he found himself growing confident rather fast. The knowledge of carving seemed to come naturally to him as if he had always done it since the day he was born. The red gem's body was done, but there was still one problem, Phos did not know how to style hair, let alone anything cute. He thought deeply for a moment and remembered the green gem he had seen in the hallway on that fateful day.

Adorable.

When the ordeal was done, the red gem's hair was as pretty and fluffy as Phos had hoped for. Okay, not entirely accurate to Phos' vision, but close enough. He started working on the eyes while the young one checked out their newly sculpted body with wonder, making various happy noises. Finally, with the eyes in place, they were complete and cute as could be. Phos helped them down off the table, where they tried walking for the first time in very shaky steps. Phos sighed and sat down to rest, he had never felt so tired in his life.

So much had happened, so much had changed, in just a day nonetheless. Phos could sleep for a whole month, or maybe more…

He was startled back to consciousness by the thump of the red gem tripping onto him. Ah, right. Can't do that anymore.

Phos glanced at them in annoyance but his heart was immediately melted by their innocent wide-eyed stare. They hummed and curled up in his lap, clinging onto the sleeves of his robe. Phos flinched at first but slowly relaxed. It had been so long since he had physical contact like this, he wasn't used to gems being friendly with him anymore. What a sad state his life had ended up in. He carefully wrapped his arms around the gem's tiny form, raising his hand to pat their head.

"You know, I still don't know what to call you" Phos said, as he ran his hand through their hair. He studied them closely, trying to remember if he recognized this particular shade of pinkish-red from any of the books Sensei made him read back in the day. All at once, information flooded his head. Ruby. Category: Oxide mineral variety. Formula: Al2O3:Cr. Crystal System: Trigonal. Hardness 9.0.

Phos squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his forehead. "How did I, how do I know all-oh whatever." He grumbled in annoyance, he should be used to the weird things his head does by now. The red gem looked up at him in concern.

"It's alright," Phos said with a soft smile. "I'm just having a…moment. Yeah. It's normal for me."

"Mo?" They whispered in a surprisingly serious tone. Phos threw back his head and laughed harder than he probably should have. "Yes, Mo." He replied, wheezing.

"Oo!" the red gem squeaked. "Mo!"

"Ruby. Your name is Ruby, by the way."

Phos didn't know how he knew, but he wasn't going to question it anymore. Sensei's eye was finally starting to be useful. The newly named Ruby yawned and snuggled themselves back into Phos' robe. "Ru." They whispered sleepily. Phos hugged them close and began to drift into sleep as well. He had once hated his peers, a long time ago. He never understood why, and he probably never will. He felt nothing but love in his heart for this gem.

I promise you, I will never let anything take you away from me again.

Chapter Text

"Ruby!"

Please no.

"Ruuuuby!"

No. No. No.

Phos' frantic calls rang across the empty school to no avail. Oh, not again. How could he lose them again? He had only been asleep for a few minutes! Okay, maybe an hour. Surely it was just an hour.

Phos leaned against the nearest wall and rubbed his eyes in frustration. Ruby was out there, who knows where all because he couldn't stay awake. He just had to pass out at his desk. Sure, this wasn't entirely his fault, as he had told the young gem over and over to stay inside, but it was still his job as a teacher to keep watch. 

Am I really this bad at every single job?

Phos had tried everything he could think of to keep Ruby from running off, even promising him that the two of them could go outside together whenever Phos wasn't tired.

Only, that promise was hard to keep because Phos was tired all the time. Sensei’s eye had come bearing a heavy burden. If he didn't sleep, the visions would return, and they would get worse. He had thought they were gone for good when Ruby was born, but the longer he stayed up to be with the young gem, the more horrible whispers he'd hear. They became so intense that Phos had cracked from stress several times. He couldn't let Ruby see him like that, so he had to sleep but it was hard to control just how long he'd be out.

One time, in the early fall, he had taken Ruby out to see the snowbirds before winter arrived. He had grown tired while watching the other gem play in the leaves and asked Ruby to wake him in a few minutes. Just a few.

He woke up in the middle of winter, buried several feet under the snow with Ruby curled up in his robe sleeping with him. Ruby confessed that it had been difficult to wake Phos and that it was "more fun to hibernate outside anyway."

Who knows what could have happened! So ever since that day, he made sure the two of them stayed inside until he was certain he could stay awake. But unfortunately for Ruby, that meant months of waiting around for reasons the young gem didn't fully understand, and why wait when outside was right there and so easy to access?

And no matter how many times he was told about the Lunarians, Ruby never seemed to grasp the danger of the situation. 

Phos sighed. Sometimes he wished he could lock that gem up in a box and never let him out. How else do you deal with a creature so stubborn? It reminded him of someone, though he wasn’t sure who. He pushed off the wall and headed towards the entrance of the school to continue his search outside. Phos hoped he wasn’t too late, if the Lunarians had gotten to Ruby first he’d never forgive h-

"Senseeeei!"

Oh, thank goodness.

“Ruby?" Phos practically melted in relief when he finally spotted the red gem running through the grass at full speed towards the school with an entire armful of colorful flowers. 

"Sensei, guess what!" Ruby skidded to a halt in front of the older gem. "I found so many tulips in the high fields! They’re in full bloom and..um..” 

Ruby’s smile faded immediately as Phos fixed him with a stern glare. He quickly tried to hide the flowers behind his back, several stems still sticking out. “Uh, I mean..”

“Ruby.” Phos placed his hands firmly on the young gem’s shoulders. “What have I told you about going out by yourself?”

“...To not to” Ruby answered quietly, his shoulders slumping. “But I swear it was only for a few minutes! I know I’m supposed to wait for you, but the tulips are blooming and if I wait too long they’ll wilt, and then I’ll have to wait a whooooole year just to see them again!”

“Impatient aren’t you?” Phos sighed, trying not to let his disappointment show. He hated being so strict with Ruby, but the red gem rarely ever listened to him. 

“I’ve been very patient!” Ruby whined loudly. “It's not fair! It’s your fault I can’t go!”

It’s all your fault.  Phos flinched at those words. It hurt to admit but unfortunately, Ruby was right about that. It was all Phos’ fault that there was no one else left to go out with him. It wasn't fair at all to keep the young gem locked inside, but what else could he do? 

“I know it’s not fair. I’m sorry, I truly am,” He said, gently taking Ruby’s hands in his own. “But I can’t lose you. You have to understand, it’s not safe out there without me. If the Lunarians found y-”

“But they won't!” Ruby jerked himself away from Phos. “I’ve been out there a million times!” 

“A MILLION times?”

Ruby coughed and quickly corrected himself. “Uhh...I mean, a few times, and they’ve never shown up! What if you’re wrong?”

“I am not wrong. They took everything from me and if I hadn’t bothered to be there when you were born, you probably would've long gone!” Phos said, raising his voice in frustration. “So for once, I’d like a little respect!”

Ruby opened his mouth to speak again but quickly snapped it shut. He turned away from the older gem’s disapproving stare and crouched down to sort through his flowers, muttering angrily. Phos clenched his fists in anger and had to resist the urge to go storming out of the room and scream. He can’t do that, no matter how much he wants to. He’s a teacher now and he has to be the mature one. Even though it was really, really, really hard.

Phos sighed loudly, letting go of his frustration. What was he even doing? What good would it do to get mad at each other? Ruby was all Phos had left in this empty world. He couldn’t drive the younger gem away as he did with all the others. 

“You need to stop treating those you poorly for those who aren’t here. Otherwise soon you’ll have no one.”  A familiar voice whispered in his head.

Arrgh. Stupid Cairngorm.

There was a long awkward pause as Phos tried to think of the right words to say.

“I’m sorry I went out again.” Ruby whispered, breaking the silence first.

“No, I’m sorry. If I hadn’t...you would’ve had others to…c’mon, let’s just go inside.”

Phos held out his arm for the red gem to take. Ruby huffed and ignored him for a minute, but finally got up and ran over to Phos, embracing the older gem in a tight hug and burying his face in Phos’ chest.

“Watch the mercury, you.” Phos said and held the red gem as close as possible. No matter how mad he got, he would always love Ruby with all his heart.

“Sensei, why did they have to take all the other gems away? It’s not fair.”

No matter how many times Ruby asked this question, Phos could never summon the courage to tell him the truth.

“I don’t know, Ruby. I don’t know.”

The two gems headed back inside the school with tulips in tow. The whole place was in much better shape now after Phos had done his best over the years to clean it up. It hadn’t been easy with all of the decay. The furniture Phos didn’t care about, but the books? Now that had worried him. So much knowledge he needed to teach, possibly gone forever? The thought alone had been enough to give him a headache. Thankfully most of the important books had remained intact, albeit faded and old, but others had long crumbled away into dust. Phos worried it would impact his lessons with Ruby, but he found himself able to fill in most of the blanks on his own with certain things like history, language, and local flora. One of the many quirks of Sensei’s eye, he supposed.

The next thing he fixed was the lack of jellyfish. The two gems had gone out together one night so Ruby could gather up jellyfish in small bowls while Phos watched carefully from the shore, unable to join him due to the poison on his body. Once they finished hauling the jellyfish back to the pond, Phos showed Ruby how to care for them. Turns out that old book on the caring and feeding of jellyfish proved useful after all.

Phos then taught Ruby how to fix himself up and apply powder. Thanks to the young gem’s hardness of nine, he rarely ever had to worry about breaking. Phos had tried to apply powder to his own body as well, only to find that the mercury dissolved it all anyway. After that came the hardest lessons for Phos to teach: Crafting and Sewing. He had never been good at any of those tasks, but the school had needed new furniture and Ruby needed new clothes. Luckily, with the rest of the gems gone for years, the land’s resources had flourished enough to use as many materials as they needed for test runs.

Sewing had ended in disaster, with Phos resorting to reusing whatever old clothes Red Beryl had left behind instead. Crafting, however, turned out to be a hit. Despite Phos’ sloppy lessons, Ruby had taken a liking to carving wood. He helped make the furniture the two needed, and when they no longer needed furniture, Ruby found other uses for his new hobby. Like plant boxes for the flowers, a large bucket to better carry jellyfish with, and a smaller bucket with holes near the top that let you pour just the right amount of water.

Now the whole school looked a lot more beautiful thanks to Ruby, but Phos knew it still wasn’t enough for him. Ruby wanted more out of life. He wanted a purpose and Phos wasn’t able to give one to him.

The two gems entered Sensei’s old room and Ruby ran over to start placing some of the tulips in one of the many empty flower boxes strewn around the room. As pretty as they were, Phos would have to warn the young gem not to use up so much of the wood for these things. He settled down on the floor next to Ruby, exhaustion seeping into every crack in his body. Ugh, another long day.

“You’re going back to sleep already?” Ruby asked, disappointment clear on his face. Phos knew why. Whenever he slept, it usually meant that Ruby had to sleep too, sometimes all wrapped up in Phos’ alloy arms to keep him from escaping. But today, Phos wanted to try something a little different. He felt bad about how strict he'd been lately, so he figured it was finally time to let up a little, starting with a test of sorts.

“Listen, if I rest now, I’ll feel well enough to go out to the high field with you tomorrow.” Phos replied, yawning. The red gem shuffled forward on his knees and gently bumped his forehead against Phos’. 

“Promise?”

“I promise. We’ll pick more tulips together.” Phos said. The two parted ways and he straightened up, putting on his best stern teacher voice. “But you have to show me that I can trust you. While I sleep, you’re staying inside this time, or else I swear we’re not leaving this room till next spring. Got it?”

“Okay! So...I don’t have to stay with you?”

“Nope. Run along.” Phos smiled and gently shooed the young gem away. Ruby grinned back and picked up the last remaining tulips before running off in the direction of his own room. Phos’ smile faded as he watched him go. He wasn’t entirely sure about letting Ruby run off like this, but he had to be able to trust the young gem.

Because if he couldn’t, then what else could he do?

Ruby placed the last of the tulips in a little box by his window. He wasn’t sure if he should be feeling giddy or disappointed. On the one hand, Sensei was finally trusting him again to stay awake all by himself! On the other hand, this meant he could absolutely not go back out for more flowers under any circumstances. Even though he wanted to.

Really, really wanted to.

Ruby didn’t like upsetting Sensei, but sneaking out was the only exciting thing in his life anymore. He had spent so many years inside the school, and no matter what he tried, it was always the same boring place day after boring day. Lately, he had taken to filling the school with flowers, as many unique species as he could find. It wasn’t exactly a replacement for the beautiful outdoors, but it would do for now. Ruby wanted a few more tulips for his room, but he should wait, just like he promised Sensei.

Sensei just wasn’t the best at keeping promises himself.

Going out “tomorrow” could really mean going out next week or even next summer. Ruby didn’t hate him for this, he just wished he was trusted to go out on his own. Sensei was always tired, and it only made him more tired to worry about Ruby’s health all the time. Surely, it’d be way more beneficial if he just let Ruby do what he wanted! After all, he was a hardness of nine for crying out loud! One of the hardest gems! He could handle anything that might come his way, including the Lunarians. Sensei had taught him everything he knew about the moon people. How they used to come down in massive ships during the day and attack the gems with arrows and all sorts of weird and awful traps. 

They hadn’t been seen in years but the older gem was still deathly afraid of them, while Ruby wasn’t so sure how he felt. He thought for a bit and decided that he felt angry. Really angry. They were the whole reason he was stuck inside all day every day! If only they WOULD show up, then he could crush them to pieces! Show them what for! He was angry and frustrated and...lonely. Very lonely. More than anything, Ruby wished could have friends. 

The red gem flopped onto his bed and glanced over at the two small carved figurines on the table next to him. They were of himself and his sensei.

His sensei, who was his only friend in the whole world. His sensei, who was loving and caring, but always too tired to play. Too busy talking to himself, or too busy being huddled up in the corner. Ruby had tried to find new things to do by himself, but he had run out of ideas a long time ago. Plus, some things he just wasn’t allowed to do. He wasn’t allowed to carve too much or he’d waste wood, and he wasn’t allowed to play with the jellyfish or mix up the paste and powder and see what it’d do. 

He wasn’t allowed to do anything fun anymore.

Meanwhile, outside has so many fun and new things! Flowers, insects, weird rocks, shells, and no rules! It had everything! Well, except for a new friend. Ruby sighed, sliding off the bed, and wandered back over to the window. Can’t ask for too much I suppose. Even though I totally deserve a friend so the world should be nice to me for once and give me one.

He stared longingly outside his window for what felt like hours. What exactly was he supposed to do while waiting for Sensei? Sit around by himself all day? So boring.

Maybe if I just stay right by the school, it’d be okay to go back outside? Just to get a liiiiiiittle bit more sun?

Now that had the makings of a good idea. Sensei couldn’t get mad if he stayed close. It was always a risky move to assume things about Sensei, but Ruby was willing to take that chance today. For the glory of more sun! He definitely felt giddy now. Ruby ran over to his door, and stopped and took a deep breath to compose himself before quietly leaving his room, not willing to jinx anything by waking Sensei up.

It was hard to wake the older gem normally, but if you made just enough noise he’d be up in an instant. As Ruby made his way towards the school entrance, he became hyper-aware of every loud echoing step his shoes made on the floor. Once he was certain he was out of earshot, he picked up speed and rushed out of the school towards the beautiful open field. Towards freedom. The wind blew his shining red hair back as the sunshine hit his face. Everything else faded into the background for a moment as Ruby stood still in the grass, soaking in the rays. 

Oh, how he wished he could stay here forever. If sitting around doing nothing all day was all he was allowed to do, this was definitely the way to do it!

Ruby sat back and relaxed in the grass for a long while until his boredom returned and started begging him to move. He got up, brushing dust off his clothes, and glanced at the school. He couldn’t go far, but pent-up energy was best spent running around at the highest possible speeds. So only one option. Ruby began to race around the entire outside of the school, around and around until his limbs screamed at him to slow down. It was so good to feel alive.

He diverged from his path and ran up the hill overlooking the school, stopping at the top to catch his breath. From this point, he could look out at the ocean in the distance. Ruby found himself wishing he could race over there as well. Not today, but maybe tomorrow Sensei might let him go. He could even try to beat his last speed record! Sensei is really good at keeping track of his time, so he could-wait. What is that?

Ruby squinted. He swore he could see something shiny in the distance. Very shiny. Too shiny in fact. He gasped, that's in the direction of the Chord Shore! Where Sensei said all the new gems were born! Could it be a new gem? Or maybe just a normal rock, but what kind of normal rock was that shiny?

Ruby turned and hurriedly ran back down to the school to get Sensei, practically bursting with excitement. Finally, this could be his chance! A chance to have someone else in his life! He reached Sensei’s room and peaked in to see the older gem sitting motionless in the center of the room. Ruby gently knocked on the wall with his fist. No response. Definitely asleep. He knocked harder and still no response. Whenever a really loud noise wouldn’t work, then aggressively shaking Sensei by the shoulders usually did the trick.

But then again, did Ruby really want to wake him? He looked so peaceful sitting there.

Making the tired older gem walk the long way to the chord shore and back sounded a bit mean. Plus it would probably just make him more tired, which meant MORE sleeping. Ugh, no. Ruby decided right then and there that he could just carry the new gem back all by himself.

Nothing I can’t handle! Ruby grabbed a large, spare blanket from the room and headed back outside again. He was starting to get tired from all this running back and forth. Shouldn’t have done all those laps. He groaned and forced himself to keep pushing forward. He had to muster up the strength to hurry if he wanted to get back in time before Sensei woke up.

The red gem knew his way around the island pretty well and while he hadn’t been to every known corner, he had certainly been to the Chord Shore before. Sensei had taken him there a few times to gather spare gemstones for possible repairs. Quite a few rubies like himself had been laying in the sand, albeit unfinished. It creeped him out to know he could've been one of them. Ruby eventually returned a few times on his own to look for something interesting, but only found chunks of gold and tiny little pieces that were not worth mentioning.

He thought for sure there was no use in coming back here.

Until today. Because today, laying in the middle of the shore, was a fully formed white gemstone, and it was the shiniest, brightest and prettiest thing Ruby had ever seen in his life. He had to squint once he got close enough due to the glaring light reflected off the gem. This thing is too bright, am I really going to have to live with this? I probably shouldn’t be picky about new friends but WOW.

Ruby fumbled forward onto the sand with his eyes squeezed shut and blindly tossed the blanket over the white gem, who squeaked in fear and hid their face in the sand. With the white gem’s blinding surface hidden under the blanket, Ruby was able to finally take a good look at them. “Oh, you’re adorable! Maybe not as adorable as me but close!” Ruby cooed at the newborn, who continued to hide further under the blanket. "Shy, huh?"

Now the hard part. He had to get them back to the school by himself. Ruby inhaled and wrapped his arms under the white gem, preparing to lift them. “Okay you, I know you’re upset but you gotta work with me here! We need to hurry back because I am playing a dangerous game being out here, so don’t make it harder on me, alright?”

“Meep.” 

“I’ll take that as an okay!” 

Ruby grunted and heaved the white gem up with all his might. C’mon, C’mon. He lifted the newborn barely a foot off the ground before dropping them, panting heavily. He tried again, this time keeping his grip on them. But despite his success, he still had several miles to walk, and he wasn’t certain he could even lift his legs with this weight! "Seriously? How heavy can you be?” Ruby groaned. The white gem wasn’t helping by trying to grip onto the sand with their rough hands. Clearly, this was going to take forever.

Aw, screw it. Sensei it is. 

He was just too tired from all the running earlier to carry them that far. I guess I know how Sensei feels now.  Ruby placed the white gem back down on the sand as gently as he could. “Okay, new plan! You stay right here, and I go get Sensei! He’s a bit weird but you’ll love him!”

The only response was another muffled “Meep”.

Ruby snatched back the blanket and sighed, turning back towards the school. Time to force his tired body to run back alllll the way back, it’ll hurt but hey, it’s a way better plan than this. He’d just have to come up with an effective lie so Sensei didn’t know that he came out this far. Oh, I saw this gem from my window and came to get you immediately! Or something like that. Ruby thought it sounded kind of stupid, but it could still work. 

It’s not like Sensei is going to find out the truth anyway.

Phos was running across the ice. It was the middle of winter.

And the Lunarians were taking Ruby away.

Phos moved so slowly. He felt the weight of his alloy and mercury dragging him down, his feet puncturing right through the ice with every frantic step. Phos stretched his arms out as far as they would go, trying to reach the fleeing ship. If he could just grab Ruby, grab a Lunarian, grab anything.

The Lunarians laughed as they shot countless arrows at his arms, barely missing him and striking the ice instead. The alloy seemed to stretch out forever yet the ship remained just out of reach.

Move you worthless things! 

Phos shot forward, gaining speed. He was finally catching up. He could hear the ice cracking dangerously all around him but he didn’t care when he was so close. Phos had just about grabbed onto the bowl holding Ruby’s pieces when the ice finally shattered beneath him. He fell through, screaming in despair, and sank deep into the frozen sea. Phos tried desperately to propel himself back up to the surface, but he was too heavy and too tired. All he could do was watch the light of the sky fade into the distance until there was nothing but darkness all around him. 

No. Please no.

Phos didn’t need air yet he felt like he was drowning. He finally hit the bottom of the void, his alloy continuing to stretch on and on until it was reduced to thin ribbons at his sides. Without the alloy inside him to keep him together, chunks of his body started to break apart, turning into dust and vanishing into the darkness. He felt himself crying and squeezed his eyes shut to keep the remaining alloy in.

Then, there was light again, faint through his eyelids. It felt all wrong. He opened his eyes and saw the moon. Staring right back at him like a giant eye itself. It loomed ever closer until the blinding light threatened to swallow him up along with the darkness.

“Now, look at what you’ve done.” It sneered at him in Cairngorm’s voice. “You’ve lost all your friends again. You really haven’t changed at all have you?”

No. NO. He couldn’t let that happen, he had to get up. He had to get up right now.

“RUBY.”

Phos woke up screaming. He panted heavily, adrenaline racing throughout his inclusions as he looked around. He wasn’t at the bottom of the icy sea anymore, he was alone and safe in his room. Nothing was wrong. He felt along his face and neck, relieved that it was all intact and not dissolving somewhere in the ocean. Well, as intact as it could be anyway. Phos thought about the way the moon had appeared in his dream, like a terrible awful eye.  Why was it always an eye? He had felt like it was watching him ever since the day he was left alone. Why did it have to haunt him even in his dreams?

Phos’ hand brushed over his pearl eye and then it hit him. A memory he had long buried away.

The eye…all this time…what have I done?

He quickly started digging at his face, scratching at the pearl eye. They WERE watching him! How could he forget it was there for so long? How could he be so stupid? If it wasn't for his ominous nightmares he would've been none the wiser! Phos dug straight into the socket and tore out the eye, carelessly scattering small pieces of his broken face across the floor. The mercury draped over his face that usually covered Sensei’s eye started rearranging itself to cover the newly eyeless socket instead.

He held the offending pearl in his hand and met its unblinking gaze with a look of pure hatred, before hurling it across the room as hard as he could. Phos would deal with destroying it later, he had to find Ruby now. He had a distinct feeling the young gem was in danger. And it’s all my fault again. What was he thinking? Foolishly letting Ruby run off on his own, when Aechmea could see it all happen? He had been right all along to make the young gem stay inside! Phos didn’t bother searching the school this time, he knew Ruby was out in the field. Betraying my trust.

Phos burst out of the school, calling for the young gem at the top of his lungs. It was nearly sundown. The Lunarians wouldn’t come at night, and if they had attacked might already be too late, the red gem would be gone.

“Ruby! Ruby, please…I can’t...” Phos forced himself to keep running but his panic was quickly overtaking him. He fell hard to the ground and covered his face with his arms, sobbing. The voices were here again, and they were too loud. He couldn’t think.

“You can’t do a single thing properly.”

“It was all for nothing.”

“Sensei!”

“You were born weak.”

“Sensei wake up!”

“If only you were never here.”

Wait. In the sea of voices, Phos heard Ruby and his voice was very real. Phos slowly removed his hands and looked up to see Ruby standing over him with a look of concern.

“Are you okay, Sensei? Either way, I’m glad you’re here because-” He was abruptly cut off as Phos shot up and wrapped his arms around the red gem, holding him as tight as he possibly could without breaking.

“You’re still…you’re still here. You’re okay.”

Ruby blinked in surprise. “Of course I am! Aren’t you?”

Am I? Phos tensed up. No. None of this was okay. He roughly pushed Ruby away from him, his relief quickly turned into anger.

“No, I am NOT okay!” Phos yelled. He stood up to his full height, looming over the red gem. “I could’ve lost you! I trusted you and look at what you did! You’re NEVER leaving the school again!”

“WHAT? But Sensei you-”

“But what ? Do you hate me too? Is that it?” Phos began to laugh despite his rage. The voices were still in his head.“3.5.” “Worthless.” “Idiot.” They all sang at him. They mocked him. He hated them. 

Ruby gasped. “N-no! Of course not! I promise there’s a reason this time.” 

“Nobody would love you.”

Phos gripped his head until he could feel his face cracking, pieces of it continued to break off and fall onto the grass. Stop it, Stop it, Stop it.

“Sensei listen, there’s a new-”

“I don’t care, Ruby! What could possibly be more important to you than your own safety?” Phos snapped.

“A NEW GEM. IF YOU’D JUST LET ME SPEAK FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, YOU’D FIND OUT.” Ruby shouted, loud enough to pierce right through Phos’ thoughts. The red gem immediately slapped his hands over his mouth in shock. He never yelled at his sensei. 

But Phos didn’t react. He just stood in stunned silence at the news, and even the voices in his head had shut up to let him process. A new gem? Already? No, it can’t happen, not so soon.

“A-are you sure? Are they moving?” He finally asked Ruby, who looked terrified of him. Shit. I shouldn’t have snapped at him like that. 

“I’m sorry, I really am. Please don't be mad.” Ruby whispered meekly.

Good job, Phos. Teacher of the year. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Phos said, gently shushing him. “You were right, I wasn’t listening to you. Just...tell me about the new gem.” 

What is wrong with me?  Phos felt deeply ashamed of himself. He had scared Ruby. His only friend, and what if he had lashed out and hurt him too? It had been so easy to lose his temper. Cairngorm was right. Oh, why did they have to be right?

Thankfully, Ruby perked back up at the mention of the new gem. “They’re moving all right! But they’re really shy, they tried to hide when I came up to them!” He said, gesturing widely with his hands as he described the newborn to Phos. According to his description, they were stunningly bright and beautiful.

“Then I tried to move them but they’re way too heavy and I’m waaaay too tired so I came to get you! But I guess you were already looking for me, huh? I-I didn’t mean to come out this far, I swear!”

Phos wasn’t mad about it anymore. All of his anger had sunk right out of him, replaced with a hollow emptiness inside as worrying thoughts filled his mind. Trying to take care of one gem was hard enough, but two? He wasn’t so sure he could manage at this rate. He was an awful caretaker. Phos tried calculating the years in his head. He had finally started keeping track again since Ruby was born and while he wasn’t entirely accurate, he was sure it had only been about 300 years or so. 300 years of doing this and he still wasn’t fit to be Sensei.

Courage, courage, courage. How much more does it need?

Finally, Phos sighed and took Ruby’s hand, gently squeezing it.

“Take me to them.” 

It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. He had to do this, even if he wasn’t ready. Even if he was the worst sensei in the whole wide world. Because who else would? It couldn’t be Ruby. It most certainly was not going to be Aechmea, that’s for sure. He was still deeply disappointed in Ruby for leaving the school again, but he’ll have to take the young gem aside and apologize to him later anyway. It wasn’t right to yell at him like that. 

They started walking to the Chord Shore. The sun was setting and Ruby was starting to get sluggish, but for once, Phos felt wide awake. He spotted the shimmering light reflection from the gem and knew what they were before he even saw them up close. Diamond. Phos was pretty sure that Diamond had been his friend once. A long time ago. The beautiful white gem was always defending him from the others' scrutiny and Phos still remembered his advice on changing from within. 

Yeah, they had been friends. Just not anymore. It was probably Phos’ fault. 

The two gems reached the shore and Phos nearly had to cover his eye from the sight before him. It was just as Ruby had described: a beautiful clear white gem, shining bright with the light of the sunset. It looked like it had all the colors of the rainbow, just like Dia. They were almost too bright to behold, but the last of the daylight finally faded away as the sun sank behind the sea, leaving the white gem much easier to look at. Phos slowly approached the newborn, and they immediately hid their face behind their rough hands, letting out muffled frightened squeaks. 

“It’s alright, we won’t hurt you” Phos whispered gently. He didn’t know gems could be so different at birth. This one was nothing like the ever-excitable Ruby had been. He reached under the white gem with his alloy and scooped them up, bending a bit under their weight. Not as heavy as he thought they'd be. Phos held the newborn close to his chest while Ruby bounced excitedly by his side as they headed back towards the school.

“So Sensei, what will we call him?” 

“Moissanite.” Phos replied, flinching at the sudden rush of information in his head. A hardness of nine, silicon carbide...turns out this gem was not at all related to diamonds aside from their beauty. Phos was almost relieved, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for another Dia or Bort in his life.

“They’re a hardness of nine, like you.” He told Ruby.

The red gem stopped in his tracks, staring at Moissanite with wonder in his eyes. “Really?”

"Really." 

Ruby let out a squeal of excitement that startled Phos before he put on a burst of speed and dashed ahead towards the school. Phos had been in no rush, but he supposed that hurrying wasn't a bad idea right now.

Hours later, Phos was finishing up carving the new gem's body. Ruby stayed up to watch the whole thing, even though he nodded off to sleep a few times. Phos had to improvise with the gem's hair this time around, but he thought he did alright. A shoulder length, fancy and proper cut befitting of a diamond, or well, a diamond-esque gem.

The young gem, now nicknamed Moi, was still incredibly shy and hid behind Phos at every chance he got. Only peering out every once in a while to glare at his red sibling. Ruby didn’t seem to get the message and continued to linger near the white gem as close as possible. He hadn’t taken his eyes off Moi since they arrived at the school. 

At one point, when Ruby got too close, Moi gave him a firm push that knocked him back on the floor and ran off to hide under the table. Phos laughed and sat down next to the bewildered red gem. 

“You were rough at this age too, you know.” He said. 

“I was?” 

Phos nodded and inhaled deeply, gathering his thoughts.

"Listen, Ruby, I'm sorry I lost control today. It won't happen again, I was just...so certain I had lost you. All the gems were taken because of me and I can't live with myself if I let that happen again."

"Because of you?" 

Phos hesitated. He still couldn't face Ruby's big innocent eyes and tell him the truth. That Phos was responsible for everything wrong with his life. "I blamed myself, that's all. But if it happened to you, then it really would be my fault."

"I forgive you, Sensei. I just wish you would trust me." Ruby sighed. He was still staring intently at the young Moi, who had crawled out from under the table and started examining the carving tools with wide, curious eyes.  

“Hard to trust a gem that doesn't keep his word.” Phos said, leaning back against the wall and closing his eye. He was tired but especially tired of having this conversation. Ruby stiffened and nervously scratched at the back of his neck. “I know, I know but you can trust Moi, right? To be my partner?"

Phos’ eye shot open and he stared at the red gem in concern. "What?"

"My partner! Like all the old gems used to have, remember? You told me!" Ruby leaned over and started gently shaking Phos' arm. "Please?"

So Stubborn. "Ruby, it's going to take a long while for Moi to be old enough for that"

"I knooow, but someday right?"

"I don't know, okay. Maybe never. I'm still worried."

"Whats there to worry about? Moi and I are both a hardness of nine! We're the strongest! We can protect each other from anything!"

Phos thought of the way Bort and Diamond had shattered each other like it was nothing. Sometimes even the Mohs scale wasn't enough to keep you from harm.

"Besides, think of it this way-" Ruby continued, oblivious to his sensei's concerns. "With us looking out for each other all the time, you won't have to watch me anymore! You can stay asleep allllll day."

You won't have to watch me anymore. Hearing this, Phos slowly sat up with his mind racing. Maybe Ruby had a point after all. This could be an opportunity for things to finally be better. Phos had proven today that he was in no real condition to look after the young gem. He was a mess in every way he could think of, but Moi? Moi could be perfect. Phos could see it now: Stern, sharp and wise. The opposite of Ruby. The opposite of him. 

The diamonds had always been better than him in every way possible. Even if Moi wasn’t a diamond, he still had all the makings of one. Moi could surpass Phos. Moi could take his place someday.

All Phos had to do was teach him. 

Chapter Text

Winter had been cold and quiet.

The moon was cold but it was definitely not quiet.

Oh, do I ever miss the quiet. Antarc sighed as he looked out at the vast white landscape from his spot on the balcony, idly swirling his glass of wine. He had taken refuge here from the thundering noise of hundreds of Lunarians partying inside the room behind him.

It wasn’t just any party either, today was the anniversary of Prince Enma and Princess Welegato’s wedding, an important event that had united the gems and Lunarians.

Of course, Antarc had lost count by now exactly what number anniversary this was. They were probably in the thousands by now. Antarc usually avoided big events like these and put off attending it every year until this one. This time, he had finally mustered up the courage to come. If only because Sensei had remarked that Antarc should at least try and socialize with his fellow gems for once.

He didn’t mean to isolate himself for so long, he really didn’t. Everything in his life had just happened so fast that he needed time to figure out what was going on. A lot of time. Preferably without noise or unfamiliar company.

One moment he had been recovering from a Lunarian attack and breaking Phos out of a box made of gold and the next he was surrounded by dozens of his fellow gems and way, way too many Lunarians on the mysterious moon, with absolutely none of his former duties to keep him company through it. All with a whole new body to boot. Antarc felt like he was never going to get used to the weightlessness.

Sensei was his usual self despite the changes at least. As for the other former gems, some of them were still as Antarc remembered, but others he could barely recognize anymore. Yellow, Dia, and the Amethyst Twins, to name a few, were practically new people to him. They had changed so drastically in what felt like a blink of an eye to Antarc, making it harder than ever to try and connect with them.

Worst of all, he most certainly did not recognize Phos.

What little he heard about Phos from the others sounded like they were describing a completely different person from the little green gem Antarc had met that faithful winter.

Traitor. Shatterer. Savior. Lost his head.

Alright, that last part wasn’t exactly surprising. Phos had apparently gone and lost his entire head on top of the arms, and not too long after, went running off to the moon to start a rebellion and even ensure the return of long-lost gems.

And he did it all for Antarc, who really didn’t know how to feel about that.

Grateful? Shocked? Angry? Relieved? How do you possibly react to someone that you barely knew going and upending entire societies for you? How do you feel about someone who shattered his own kind and destroyed the person you love most in the process? It’d be an easier question to answer if Antarc could actually hear the reason why from Phos himself, but the green gem was miles away, left alone on earth.

A concerning fact that only Antarc seemed to care about. He had met some of the former gems at the party tonight and tried to ask them what they thought of Phos and what they knew about his disappearance. Only to receive some upsetting answers.

“I’m sure Phos is happy to be alone. He wasn’t exactly fond of us.”

“Well I’m not exactly fond of him either so I’m glad he’s gone.”

“That’s a shame. Will he be back?”

“I heard something about fulfilling a divine purpose. Sounds hard.”

Seriously? Am I the only one who’s actually concerned? Antarc thought as he gripped his glass in frustration, leaning against the balcony rail. The quips and comments from the other gems stuck in his mind.

Nobody seemed to know or care about what happened to the young gem, or they just outright hated him. Antarc wondered if he shouldn’t care either, knowing what Phos did to Sensei, but surely the least he could do to repay Phos for saving everyone was to care about him, right?

If only anyone had an actual clue that could help him figure this out. Well, besides Enma, who definitely knows something but stays quiet on the matter, and Sensei, who is vague and refuses to elaborate on anything. Oh, and there is also Welegato. The Lunarian princess avoided Antarc’s gaze every time the two of them were in the same room together. He probably knows something Antarc doesn’t…not that Antarc has the courage to actually ask him, of course.

Oh Phos, what am I going to do?

The sounds of the party gradually faded into the background as Antarc became lost in his thoughts, weighing his options while trying to ignore the unease gnawing at his stomach.

“Surprised to see you here today.”

Antarc jumped at the sudden voice and nearly dropped his drink in the process. He snapped around to see the Lunarian princess leaning on the balcony rail next to him with a wine glass of his own, amusement clear on his face.

“P-Princess, my apologies, I uh, meant to attend before but-” Antarc swallowed nervously and tried to regain his composure. “I’m just not used to all this…company.”

“It’s alright, I understand. No need for the formalities, by the way, just Welegato is fine.”

Welegato winked and took a sip of his wine. Antarc glanced down at his own full glass that hadn't been touched since he got it. He had only taken it for the formality, as he never quite understood the appeal of consuming food or drink. Antarc smiled politely at Welegato and tried to think of small talk. Another thing he wasn’t good at, especially since he had never properly spoken with the princess before.

"I'm surprised to see you here as well, usually we don't get a chance to speak." He said.

Welegato casually shrugged and returned his smile. "There's a first time for everything."

“Forgive me for asking but, what gem were you before the whole...Lunarian transformation? I can’t recall.”

Welegato’s smile faded and he stared blankly for a minute, before sighing and taking another long sip. “You know Ghost Quartz, right?”

Antarc nodded. He barely interacted with the quiet gem but he did know of him.

“Well, he was a multi-layered quartz, and unfortunately, I was his inner shell.” Welegato said with a hint of venom in his voice. “I was stuck with him for most of my life.”

“I’m guessing you two weren’t exactly close.”

“Oh we were close alright, too close. That’s exactly why I hope to never see him again.”

Antarc fiddled with his glass nervously for a few seconds, before finally offering it to the tense Welegato, who gladly accepted the glass and proceeded to down it quickly in a single swig. Good going, Antarc. Immediately touch on the touchy subject why don’t you?

Antarc thought about Ghost Quartz, who usually spent all his time hiding away in one of the many Lunarian libraries by himself. Not really that much different from how he used to live on earth. The shy, soft-spoken gem seemed completely incapable of hurting a soul, but then again, Phos had also seemed quite harmless until now.

Welegato suddenly cleared his throat, giving Antarc an apologetic look. “Sorry, a lot has happened between us, even after we were separated thanks to Phos I never felt like I was allowed to be my own person.”

Thanks to Phos? Great, another Phos fun fact to add to the pile. Although Antarc would love to drop the subject right here and now, he realized this was the perfect time to ask that burning question he had about the green gem.

“How did you and Phos get along?”

“Don’t like him.” Welegato answered bluntly.

Oh. Antarc flinched. He was still getting all the answers he didn’t want to hear. “I’m sorry, do you know what happened to him?”

“I do but I don’t particularly care. I know I should since he did bring me here and all, but it was for your sake alone so I really can’t.”

Antarc was getting more uncomfortable by the minute. He wished he could bolt back into the building and hide forever without it being considered rude.

“A lot of things seem to happen because of me," Antarc said, taking a deep breath. "Do you...hate me for it?”

Welegato’s guilty expression said it all. “No, I don’t...hate you. I guess. I just don’t want to see you after everything that's happened.”

“Why?” Please don't say because of Phos.

“It’s because of Phos.”

Shit.

“Back when I was a gem, I looked a lot like you. So Phos liked to pretend I really was you. I only encouraged this because Ghost forced me to.“ Welegato shuddered, an unreadable look in his eyes. "Phos wasn't a good friend to me. Or anyone for that matter."

Antarc stared down at his feet in stunned silence for a while. No wonder the princess had always avoided him.

“I don't see how that's possible.” He finally muttered.

“How so?”

“Because he came all this way to save me. A gem he only just met. He cared deeply about me.”

Welegato snorted. “He cared only about you. He was obsessed with you and we all paid for it in the end.”

With that, he bid Antarc a quick farewell and headed back inside. Antarc watched the princess go and felt a large hole open up in his chest. This was all too much. Welegato immediately ushered over a server for more drinks, and for once, Antarc actually felt like drinking too.

CRASH

Another ice floe successfully crushed into bits.

Roughly the seventieth ice floe today.

The ice was testing Phos’s patience more than usual this year. He's been outside all day by the icy sea smashing these things with no end in sight. Figures it would do this, now that he has not one, but two gems that he needed to keep asleep. Phos used to be able to sleep right through them himself, but now, with two young gems that weren't exactly heavy sleepers, he's been forced to be extra diligent in the winter. Not a single ice floe escaped him. Phos didn’t mind the extra work in the end. It was tiring but it kept his mind occupied. He had so much on his mind lately that the voices in his head haven't even acted up.

This year was only Moissanite's fifteenth. It was nowhere near time to begin his training, yet Phos couldn’t stop thinking about it. He needed the young gem to take over his job. Ruby and all the yet-to-be-born gems needed it too. Phos was barely a leader himself, but he was confident he could shape Moi into one. He had grown up with many role models for a leader, like Bort, Euclase, and Antarc.

Sure, he didn’t like most of them anymore, but that didn’t mean he ignored how effective they had been at their jobs. Besides, Phos knew their flaws well and was certain he could avoid creating another heartless Bort or lying Euclase. Moi’s generation would be better than his ever had.

Phos struck down another ice floe and withdrew his outstretched alloy. He was thankful that he didn’t need a sword to do the work anymore, his alloy and mercury were strong enough on their own to break the ice.

The thought of running and jumping around the floes like he used to was enough to make his entire body cringe in pain. Phos made his way over to a small lump of ice sticking out above the rest and sat down on top. It was quiet for now, he could take a well-deserved break.

He breathed in deeply, trying to clear his head. No worries, no planning, just enjoy the calm silence of winter while it lasts. When spring comes along he’ll be dealing with his two rambunctious gems once again. Ruby is admittedly much more well-behaved now, simply having a partner he could play with had changed his whole attitude. The red gem no longer has to rely on his tired sensei alone for companionship. He still wasn’t allowed outside without Phos' supervision (not until Moi is at least two hundred years old anyway) but thankfully he was content with staying inside the school with his younger brother. They hung out together as often as possible.

Sometimes this could get highly annoying, trying to teach Moi his classes while the red gem messed around and caused distractions, but Phos was just relieved to see him so happy. As for Moi, the young gem was finally starting to come out of his shell. He often joined in on Ruby’s shenanigans, guaranteeing Phos a headache.

Phos could only hope no more gems would be born until he was ready for them. Just two was a major handful. Scratch that, one had been a major handful.

How did Sensei do it with twenty or more? A question he might never get the answer to.

Phos’ brows furrowed and he scrunched his eyes shut tighter. He wasn’t supposed to be thinking right now. Just relaxing.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ah, never mind then.

Phos slid off the ice chunk with a groan that quickly raised in volume to a yell. It wouldn’t help anything, but boy, did it feel good to scream back at them.

“Can’t you lay off at least a little bit today?” He shouted at the rising chunk of ice, readying his alloy. “Trust me, I’ve heard enough!”

He rushed forward, arms extending out in front of him. They formed into blades that pierced the ice as deep as they could go, and with a swift jerk of his arms, the alloy cleaved the ice flow clean in half. Its screams were cut short as it sank slowly back into the sea.

“And stay there.” Phos huffed at the bubbling water. “No matter how hard you try, you’re not waking them up on my watch.”

He waited for a bit, panting in exhaustion, to see if the ice dared to rear its ugly head again. He couldn’t keep going like this all day, it would end with him passed out for weeks at this rate! Once he was certain there were no more ice floes, Phos turned and began to head back towards the school. He was sure he wouldn’t be done with the ordeal until nightfall, but he wanted to check on the young gems and see if they'd been disturbed. After so much noise he'd be surprised if they were still asleep. The school still needed all that snow by the entrance shoveled too. Phos simply hadn’t found the time to do it yet with all the screaming ice that needed to be crushed. It was more important the gems got their rest anyway.

“You worry about them a lot, don’t you?”

Phos stopped dead in his tracks. A voice. And it wasn’t coming from inside his head.

“You try your best to protect them, but are you doing enough?”

He looked around in panic. It sounded like it was coming from every direction at once.

“You remember us, don’t you?”

It felt like a cold hand had gripped his heart. The ice floes. He hasn’t heard their voices in years. It was all coming back to him, how he lost his arms. The ice had taken them from him.

Phos resisted the urge to scream. "Calm down, Phos, they’re not real, they’re not real." He whispered to himself, remembering something Sensei had told him. That's right, the voices were just reflections of his inner fears! He worried about the two young gems all the time, so of course, the ice floes would reflect that. It’s normal. Totally normal.

He stayed still for a few more minutes trying to calm his breathing, then resumed walking.

“Sensei said we’re not really alive, didn’t he? Did anyone ever tell you that he lied?”

Phos forced himself to keep walking. Ignore them, ignore them. NOT REAL.

“Why are you ignoring us? Don’t you want to keep your gems safe, Phos?”

“What if the Lunarians come back? What will you do?”

“You’re so tired and frail now, you need to be stronger. We can help you.”

“I’M NOT FALLING FOR THAT AGAIN.” Phos finally snapped, striking out with his alloy and stabbing it into the ice. He inhaled sharply and leaned down close to the ice, fixing the cracks with a furious stare.

“You took my arms. You’re the reason I lost Antarc.” He whispered. “I’m never, ever listening to you again. So leave. me. alone.”

He withdrew the alloy, hoping he got his point across. He had spent countless years alone by the beach and the floes had never once spoken to him then, why did it have to be now? When he actually had something he cared about? If there was anything that could be considered worse than Lunarians, it was definitely these wretched ice floes. Phos wished he could smash every mile of ice in sight so he never has to see them again.

Sinners.

Phos sighed, in the end, it was his fault for worrying about these things so often. He feared the return of the Lunarians every day, but more so he feared he’d be too weak to fight them all off if they did come back. He had barely fought off Aechmea by himself, and wouldn’t dare risk the young gems in combat.

So it would be all up to Phos to face an entire army if it came to it.

"You need to be stronger."

Phos flinched and shook his head. Enough. He needed to get back to the school now before the ice could say anything more to him.

The floes didn’t speak again, instead, Phos heard the distinct, crackling sound of something rising out of the ice. He turned slowly and spotted three thin, long spikes in the center of the ice not far from him, sprouting up from the water beneath. Held up in the center of the spikes was a small round object.

Every inclusion in Phos’ body was screaming at him to run the opposite way, but something about the object sparked his curiosity. The ice floes usually took things away, but now it wanted to give him something? What could the ice floes possibly want him to have? Phos cautiously approached the spikes, glancing down at the ice under him every so often to make sure it wasn't planning on breaking beneath him while he's distracted. The ice spikes continued to rise up until the object was at eye level with him.

It was black and white. Rough and uneven like it had been rolled together by the waves themselves. It looked like an eye and was strangely familiar, but Phos couldn’t figure out where he’d seen it before.

“It’s your new eye,” The voice whispered. “We made it for you.”

Phos shuddered, he had destroyed his pearl eye years ago. He didn't need another one, especially not from a source he couldn't trust, yet he still felt his hand itching to reach out and grab it. Everything about it was so wrong yet it felt like it was meant to be a part of him.

“Together we can be stronger. Together we can make them all pay for what they did.”

Phos’ hand stretched ever closer. His gold fingers nearly closing around the eye as the ice crackled with waiting tension.

GONG.

Phos was broken out of his trance by a loud sound in the distance.

GONG GONG.

The bell. Lunarians were here. Ruby and Moi were in danger.

Phos immediately withdrew his hand and started running back towards the school. All curiosity he may have felt about the object was gone in an instant. If the ice floes had called for him to come back, he didn't hear them over the sound of the bell. Was this a trick after all? A distraction so the Lunarians could come and take the two gems?

Fear pushed him to run faster. The bell never stopped ringing. Phos didn’t slow down even as he arrived at the school. He headed straight for the bell and spotted both Ruby and Moi. Ruby was up on top of the structure, furiously tugging on the base of the bell with determination while Moi remained at the bottom, sitting in the snow.

They were both……fine.

“Sensei! You’re back!” Ruby shouted in excitement and abandoned the bell, sliding down to the ground and grabbing onto Moi’s sleeve, tugging the younger gem up to greet Phos. Phos had to practically throw himself to the ground to stop his momentum, landing roughly in the snow so he didn’t crash into the two younger gems. He was lucky the snow softened his fall.

Phos felt both of them wrap their arms around his neck in a hug and relief washed over him. But it was only for a moment.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Who attacked you?” He brushed the snow off himself and starting searching the two gems for any cracks or breaks in their surfaces.

“Nothing's wrong! We just needed you back here right away! I know we could’ve waited but you take foreeeever out there and Moi almost fell back asleep!” Ruby said, elbowing the younger gem next to him.

“You rang the bell…because you wanted me back.” Phos echoed in disbelief.

“Yep! Is that....not what it’s for?”

Oi. Phos let go of the other gems and let himself sink back into the snow. Exhaustion washed over him in an instant. This can't keep happening to me.

“Ruby, I told you, it's for emergencies only!" He said.

“Oh right, well this is an emergency!”

“Serious emergencies.” Phos corrected, his exhaustion being replaced by annoyance.

“Oh.”

The three gems stood together in awkward silence for a while, only occasionally broken up by Moi’s yawning. Ruby started kicking at the snow. Finally, with another sigh, Phos spoke. “Alright, you got me here, what did you want me for?”

Ruby’s eager smile returned as he gently nudged Moi in the shoulder and stepped aside, nodding at the white gem to come forward. It was at this point that Phos finally noticed Moi was carrying something.

“Um, we made this, for you.” Moi whispered, holding out a small object wrapped in cloth. Phos offered the nervous gem a smile and gently took the object in his own hands. He slowly unwrapped the cloth to reveal a gemstone eye with a red and white pupil made of various shards.

“A new eye?” Phos asked in awe. “How did...how did you know I needed one?” He held the eye close to his chest like it was a precious treasure and stared at the two gems in bewilderment.

Ruby’s smile widened. “Moi noticed you were missing yours! He’s really good at noticing stuff like that.”

Moi nodded shyly in response. “It was my idea. I got Ruby to make it for you.”

“It's our leftover shards from when we were born! Uh, don't ask how we found those," Ruby said with a nervous laugh. "Do you like it?”

Phos pulled them both into a sudden, tight hug, choosing to ignore the comment about them snooping around the infirmary for now.

“Of course I do. It’s perfect. You’re both perfect.” He whispered, his shaking voice betrayed how close he was to crying.

One thing Phos couldn't ignore was the realization of just how close he had been to taking that eye from the ice floes. If hadn't have been for these two, who knows what the eye could've done to him.  He'd have to be a lot more careful during winter from now on. If the ice can speak with words of it's own now, who knows what else it's capable of.

Chapter Text

The moon was as busy as ever today. Dozens of Lunarians and former gems alike walked through the crowded street, going about their day as usual. Antarc however, was currently tucked behind an empty street stall, hiding from Welegato.

Just great. 

Of course, Welegato had to be here today. On this street. At exactly the same time as Antarc.

The princess was mingling at one of the other stalls further down the street. Antarc initially tried to keep his head down and walk past him without being noticed, but that plan immediately failed. Welegato had spotted Antarc right away and glared at him so fiercely it would've caused any lesser gem to break. Well, if such a thing was still possible anyway.

Cue Antarc speed walking in the opposite direction as fast as possible and ducking behind the nearest empty stall he could find. Embarrassing.

Someone would come and claim the stall eventually. Antarc knew he couldn’t hide here forever but man, he sure wished he could. He and Welegato made a point to avoid each other ever since the whole nerve-striking incident at the anniversary party. That was probably hundreds of years ago by now, and yet the hostility was still going as strong as ever.

And all Antarc wanted to do today was go to the library to visit Ghost Quartz. Ever since the party, Antarc had tried to let himself forget about Phos like the others did. Let go and move on with his life. But he just couldn't. The questions of how and why kept on burning in his mind throughout the years. He especially couldn't stop thinking about what Welegato had mentioned to him. That Ghost knew Phos rather closely. Enough to affect Welegato's life to the degree that he wouldn't forgive Ghost OR Phos.

So Antarc decided firmly that he wasn't going to give up until he solved the puzzle of Phos' motivations. He was going to see this mystery through to the end, and there would be no better place to start than the library!

That is, if he could even FIND the library to begin with. A funny quirk about the moon is that nothing ever looked the same twice. The streets changed every day. Even the buildings.

It was terrible, in Antarc’s humble opinion. The school had always been the same, so Antarc could always find what he needed right away. But this place? He had only been to the Lunarian library a few times and each time the whole place had looked totally different from the outside. Something about moon minerals changing overnight.

Antarc peeked up over the stall and eyed the busy street. No sign of Welegato, maybe he could finally keep looking in peace? Antarc slowly climbed over the stall, trying to ignore how horribly undignified it looked, and headed back out into the street. He barely made it a few steps forward when a quiet voice interrupted him.

"Quick, in here."

Antarc yelped as something grabbed his wrist and yanked him through an open door into darkness. Once inside, his wrist was released and he stumbled forward due to momentum, nearly tripping over a stack of books. Antarc managed to regain his balance at the last second. Looking around frantically, he realized he was surrounded by of tons of books. The library.

"Sorry about that." 

And Ghost.

"You looked like you needed somewhere to hide," Ghost said quietly. “I understand how that feels.” He bent over and picked up one of the books that Antarc had knocked over in the scuffle and set it neatly back on top of one of the stacks.

Ah, so the library had been right across the street from Antarc’s hiding place the whole time. That's even more embarrassing.

"It’s alright, but don’t just grab me like that!" Antarc gently rubbed his wrist, his heart still pounding from the sudden scare. Ghost murmured an apology and continued to pick up the books strewn about the floor. Antarc was a little confused about the mess before him. Libraries are supposed to be all neat and tidy with books up on shelves, aren't they? Regardless, he bent over and picked up a book to try and help. It was titled “My Life as a Twin Crystal”.

"What happened here?” He asked the other gem, being careful not to bump into any of the stacks as he moved around.

"Oh, nothing," Ghost said, amusement in his voice. “We just got a bunch of brand new books printed. I haven’t had time to put them away, that’s all.”

Antarc's eyes darted to the books on the floor, then back to Ghost. “You needed this many?”

“Thirty-Three is a popular author. Everyone's going to want a copy,” Ghost said, taking the book from Antarc’s hands and tucking it under his arm. “And I do mean everyone. The Lunarians are really happy to have new reading material after so long. Gem-written books are pretty much the only thing they read now.”

“I see.” Antarc said, still giving the books a concerned look.

Ghost headed deeper inside the library and Antarc followed him, trying to ignore how much it hurt his inner perfectionist to leave the mess on the floor. Maybe I should get a job here. He mused to himself.

The library was huge and full of what felt like thousands of books. They lined the shelves, the floor, the chairs, everything. Everywhere you looked was a book. It was pretty impressive, if horribly messy. Antarc saw quite a few Lunarians quietly reading in chairs and even on the floor, sipping tea from small cups.

"Would you like some tea? Lapis makes it." Ghost asked, ducking under a precariously placed ladder.

"Oh, no thank you. I actually came here to-" Antarc narrowly dodged another stack of books. "-ask you about something." 

Ghost let out a small "hm?" and made his way over to an aisle marked “Gem Nonfiction” and slid the book neatly into one of the shelves. He then gestured for Antarc to follow him once more to an open area at the end of the aisle, with several tables and chairs in the middle. A reading room.

He settled down on one of the chairs and Antarc followed suit on the opposite one.

“So, what is it? If it’s about the books, we have plenty of copies. You can take whatever you need. Lapis and I both agree that Thirty-Three had too much printed, so if you want to take more than one-”

"It's about Phos."

Like Welegato, Ghost's face fell at the mention of the green gem.

"Oh. Phos...Yeah. I miss him. Nobody ever wants to talk about him. Unless you're Lapis of course.”

Ghost leaned over to look at something behind Antarc. “You’re always wondering about him, aren’t you?"

Antarc turned around in confusion to see Lapis’ curious face peeking out from behind a bookshelf. The sight almost made him jump out of his chair.

"Lapis!" He gasped. "How long have you been there?"

Why are these two so frighteningly stealthy?

“Been here since before you sat down.” Lapis replied with a grin. “And here I thought scaring people was Ghost’s trick. So, we finally have someone interested in the owner of my head, hm? I’ve been asking about him for a while but Euclase won’t ever entertain my questions.”

“Euclase won't talk to you at all.” Ghost pointed out.

“Mm. True.”

Antarc shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Did all the gems have poor relationships now? He knew Bort and Dia were still at odds, the Amethyst Twins were barely even twins anymore and of course, that thing between Ghost and Welegato. Who knows how many other broken relationships were out there that he didn't keep track of.

He was grateful that Lapis and Ghost were still together at least.

Antarc cleared his throat, shaking off the concerning thoughts for now. "Lapis. You wouldn't happen to have any of Phos' memories would you?"

“Afraid not. Or else I would’ve said something to you already," Lapis sighed and ran his hand through his hair wistfully. “I never got those inclusions back, whatever is going on inside his head is something only he knows.”

“I see…”

Lapis hummed, twirling a strand of hair absentmindedly. "So, was that a no on the tea, Ghost?"

"I'd like some, not sure about Antarc though."

"I don't drink," Antarc admitted sheepishly. "It's just not my thing."

Lapis faked a gasp, before laughing. “Not even for my tea? Alright, at least I still have you, Ghost. I'll be back in a bit, don't discuss anything important without me!”

With that, Lapis disappeared among the bookshelves.

"Lapis cares about Phos too, in his own way. I already told him everything I know," Ghost said with a genuine smile. "So don't worry about him. Ask me whatever you want." 

Even though there was no way Ghost could ever get as angry as Welegato, Antarc was still nervous. Phos is going to be a touchy subject.

“You knew Phos right? Do you know what happened to him? Why he…attacked everyone?"

Ghost immediately shook his head. “You'd be better off asking Welegato about all that. I was only Phos' partner for a little bit.”

Oh, of course you'd say that. Antarc cringed internally. “I tried that, but it didn't end well. At all. In fact, I'm pretty sure I made a new enemy for life.”

“Oh no, I’m sorry about that,” Ghost said. He sighed and leaned back in the chair. “If it’s any consolation, it’s my fault he’s like that. Upset about Phos, I mean. I could pretend I didn’t mean to make him mad, but that'd be a lie.”

Ghost turned away from Antarc but the guilt on his face was still easy to read. Antarc couldn’t ignore it. He leaned forward and gently placed his hand on Ghost’s own. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but..what happened between you two?”

Ghost gave Antarc a weak smile, taking a deep breath before recounting the events.

“We were protecting Phos from a Lunarian attack. Hundreds of arrows were chipping away at us. I knew it was going to be the end of me so I told Welegato to protect Phos. It wasn’t a request or a suggestion. It was a command. I didn’t mean to control him, I really didn’t but my inclusions..they...” He trailed off for a moment. “I always treated him poorly. He was my second layer and I was so fed up with living with him that I just acted like he owed me everything!”

Ghost shuddered and squeezed Antarc’s hand. “I wish I could let him know that I'm happy for him. He’s just as obnoxious and crude as I remember, but I don’t mind it anymore. He's finally living the life he always wanted.”

“Then why don’t you?” Antarc asked softly.

“I don’t know,” Ghost shrugged, his shoulders slumping. “The way he looks at me just hurts so much and I know he’s happier without me. If I just stay in here, out of sight, he’ll never have any reason to be upset. I owe him that much.”

Ghost retracted his hand and held it close to his chest. His head hung low. Antarc didn’t know what to say that would comfort him. He could try and encourage Ghost to confront Welegato, but that would make Antarc quite the hypocrite. He didn't want to confront the princess either, so what good would his advice be?

Finally, Ghost spoke again. “All I know is that Phos wanted to talk to a Lunarian and he asked me to be his partner. That’s how we ended up in that situation. I don’t know what happened to him after that.”

“Clearly, a long of awful things happened. What else would drive a gem to madness?” Lapis’ voice came from the other side of the room, followed by the clattering of teacups on a tray. “Tea anyone?”

“You know, I never struck you as the tea-making type.” Antarc said as Lapis carefully set down the tray on the table. Ghost took a cup, and rather than drinking it, he merely stared into it, lost in his thoughts.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” Lapis huffed, twirling the same strand of hair around his finger again. “You know, you could always ask the gems that raided the earth with Phos.”

Antarc shot up, startling the other two. "You're right! Why didn't I think of that?"

Maybe because Ghost is an easy gem to talk to? Because you still recognize him? Because none of those gems are even remotely the same person you remember?

Antarc wasn't fond of his brain's poignant reminders.

“Not everyone can be as smart as me, love." Lapis said, making Antarc glare at him. "I think Diamond is your best bet. He shattered Bort in that fight, after all. I bet he knows a thing or two about murderous motivations. If you can manage to talk to him you might learn something new. I never got the chance, he’s too busy being a fancy star and whatnot.”

Diamond. The moon’s most famous pop star. It wouldn’t be easy to get an audience with him but it was worth a shot.

“Alright, I’ll try.” Antarc got up and thanked the other two gems for their time. Lapis nodded in response but Ghost didn't look up from his tea. Even though Antarc had to make haste, there was a thick feeling in his chest that wasn't going to let him leave without saying something. Who cares if it made him a hypocrite!

“Hey, Ghost.” He spoke quietly to the other gem. “I know it’s hard but I really think you should tell Welegato how much he means to you. I think he needs to hear it.”

Antarc stumbled out of the large library door and headed back out into the busy street, brushing the loose bit of paper off his head. He had made it back out of the maze of books almost flawlessly, except for that stack he managed to smack into at the last second. Thankfully only one very startled Lunarian had seen his mistake.

The street was less crowded now and Antarc made his way across without worrying about bumping into anyone. Dia. Gotta find Dia. His concerts and events were advertised everywhere so that's where Antarc would start. Maybe one of those events would be an autograph signing? Did he do those? That's an easy face-to-face situation, if you got there early enough to beat the rabid fans in line anyway.

Let’s see, when is the next event? Three weeks is it? No, that can’t be right. We just had one last week.

Antarc was too busy counting his fingers to look where he was going and collided straight into another person. That person turned out to be a very upset Welegato.

“H-hey.” Antarc stammered, looking up into white eyes that practically burned with anger. Burning right into his very soul. He quickly backed away from the other former-gem, mumbling apologies. It took every bit of his willpower to force himself to be formal and maintain eye contact. “Good to see you again, Princess.”

“Hah. Visiting friends at the library are we? How’d it go?” Welegato asked coldly.

“Um.” Antarc tried to think of a polite answer that WOULDN'T escalate the situation. C'mon, Antarc, don't be a hypocrite. Confront the problem! But his brain quickly gave up on that idea. The death glare was pissing him off too much. He puffed out his chest and fixed the princess with a glare of his own. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m allowed to go wherever I want and visit whoever I like.”

“I see.” Welegato replied, not backing down. “Even Ghost? You’d still visit him even knowing what he did to me? You’re even colder than the winter you came from, aren't you?”

“You have no right to assume anything about me.” Antarc hissed back. The two stared each other down, bristling. The tension grew thick enough to cut with a knife. But before the standoff could escalate any further, a large crowd of Lunarians came surging forward, knocking the two gems apart. 

Antarc had to fight to keep his balance as shoulders of all sizes bumped into him, threatening to knock him over. The princess was already backing up out of the crowd and shouting, trying to avoid being trampled. A few Lunarians ceased their stampeding to stop and apologize to him. Everyone was chattering at once, Antarc could only make out a few words from the sea of voices.

“It’s Dian!”

“Your new single was incredible! I listen to it every day!”

“We love you!”

“MARRY ME, DIAN!”

Dian? Wait, that's Dia.

Antarc stood precariously on his tiptoes and peered up over the crowd, finally spotting Dia’s unmistakable figure past the gathering of Lunarians. Sporting oddly shaped sunglasses and a large, shiny head bow with dozens of pearls draped around his neck and wrists. Even without his gem body, he still sparkled as bright as ever.

Despite the surge of fans, he was untouched and unbothered, as a ring of large Lunarian bodyguards did their best to keep the crowd from getting too close. Antarc realized this was the perfect way to escape Welegato. He started running with the crowd, allowing himself to be swept away from the princess, who had already disappeared from view. He knew they’d have to settle their differences someday, but not today. Not when he was so close to losing his temper.

“Dia!” Antarc called out as he got closer to the other gem. “Dia, it’s me, Antar-OW.”

An elbow suddenly bashed him in the side and another Lunarian stepped on his foot. Everyone was practically clambering over each other to get closer to Dia. Antarc had to muster every bit of strength to not get thrown onto the ground and stomped on further. At this rate he'd be crushed!

Yet somehow, despite the chaos, Dia managed to spot him in the crowd.

“Hey is that Antarctie? No way! Hi!” Dia cried and started excitedly tapping one of the bodyguards on the arm. "I know that guy! Can you get him for me? Oh, don't give me that look it's fine!"

The bodyguard grunted in response and wasted no time reaching into the crowd, neatly dodging the other Lunarians and grabbing onto Antarc’s arms, pulling him out of the crowd and into the safety ring of bodyguards with Dian.

“......Antarctie?” Antarc barely had time to breathe or even register his new nickname before Dia pulled him into a quick tight hug, nearly squeezing hard enough to make him disperse. Antarc just stood there limply, a light blush forming on his face. He wasn’t used to giving hugs to anyone but Sensei. It was weird.

“Yes! It’s been so long!” Dia pulled away. “Sorry for the crowd, I haven’t had a public outing in a while. It really riles them up”

Dia casually turned towards the mob and cupped his hands around his mouth. “Everyone SHOO. Save the attention for the event next week!”

Various loud “AW”s erupted from the crowd as Dia’s bodyguards started herding them away. Some of the fans shot a jealous look at Antarc and all he could do was offer them an apologetic shrug in return.

With the crowd gone, Antarc could finally breathe. “Thank you, Dia. Er, Dian. I nearly died out there. It’s good to see you.”

Antarc offered the other gem his hand and Dian shook it a lot more enthusiastically than he would’ve liked.

“Took me a moment to recognize the new name.” Antarc said, trying not to grimace at his now sore shoulder.

“Do you like it?” Dian was smiling from ear to ear. "It took me a while to find the perfect name."

“I do, very much. Dianthus. It's a beautiful name, but a bit similar to your old one though, don’t you think?”

“But of course! I have a brand to keep.” Dian laughed. “Don’t want to confuse anyone!”

"Ah, makes sense."

Dian was one of the few gems to change their name after becoming a Lunarian, with the first being Welegato. Most of the gems were content with their original names, but a few wanted a fresh start and a new name to go with it. Dian was one of those gems desperate to leave their old life behind.

“Say,” Dian said, tapping Antarc on the shoulder. “I’m heading back to my place, do you want to come? You’re like, the only gem who hasn’t been over!”

Antarc could barely believe his luck. Dian is one of the most famous (and busiest) gems on the entire moon, so getting to speak to him let alone visit his place? Who knows when Antarc will get such an opportunity handed to him again!

Plus, it could double as a hiding place from the princess.

“I’d love to, thank you.”

Dian squealed and eagerly took Antarc’s hand, leading him down the street. With the bodyguards escorting them on all sides, Antarc didn’t need to worry about the princess causing trouble for him now. He wondered what it would take to get bodyguards of his own. Probably more social credit than he could ever hope to earn.

It wasn’t long before they reached Dian’s house. It was a massive, lavish mansion that easily matched the size of the school on earth, surrounded on all sides by incredible water fountains. Or were they moon mineral fountains? Antarc wasn’t sure, nor did he really care to ask. He was too busy trying to take in the sight of the building itself looming over him. He’d spotted it in the distance a few times sure, but up close was a whole other picture.

“Dian, I knew you lived in a fancy place but this is...”

“One of the biggest on the moon? I know, the Lunarians spared no expense for me.” Dian’s answer was so casual that Antarc was actually taken aback. Imagine being handed a place like this! Most if not all of the other gems, save for Welegato, lived in simple apartments. He followed Dian through the large front doors that were opened for them by more massive Lunarians. Antarc glanced at their fancy suits and decided they must be the pop star's servants. Inside was even more breathtaking than outside. Antarc was greeted by a large entryway with an equally large double staircase. At the far back of the room was another beautiful fountain. Fountains inside and out of this place, unreal.

In the middle of the room sat one large fancy-looking couch with tons of pillows and small dog plushies piled up on the cushions.

And the Chandeliers? Five in just this one room!

“Want anything to drink?” Dian asked while removing his coat and glasses and handing them to one of the servants. Antarc snapped out of his trance and politely declined, remembering the tea he never accepted from Lapis with a pang of guilt. Someday, surely, he’d get the hang of drinking. If not for his sake, then the sake of his poor hosts.

"That's fine! I don't drink either, I much prefer food. You like food right?" Dian waved over another servant, this one carrying a small platter of various tiny snacks. Antarc watched as the servant placed the platter on the small table by the couch and then rushed up the stairs alongside the other servant with the clothes. More servants were seen running about upstairs. One even walked by carrying a large vase.

Geez, I knew Dian's music was popular but to THIS degree?

He could only wonder just how many Lunarians worked for Dian. It must be seen as an honor to do so. Being a pop star clearly paid off as Dian was downright spoiled for his work. The sheer amount of outfits and servants he had was probably only bested by the princess. Antarc’s own wardrobe and apartment were so small and modest in comparison that it was laughable. He had, what, three outfits max? Not that it really mattered to him in the end. He was just happy to even be alive at all.

Antarc seated himself on the lavish couch, still in awe at everything around him. It struck him how this was the first time he’d actually been invited to anyone’s home outside of Sensei’s place. I really need to get out more, I wonder what Thirty-Three's place looks like? Or Jade's! One's belongings can say so much about a person.

Dian practically flopped down on the other end of the couch between two dog-shaped plushies and hugged them close to his sides. They looked so incredibly fluffy and life-like, Antarc couldn’t help but stare. So cute...

Dian noticed him staring. “Aren’t they adorable? After I saw Welegato’s precious puppy, I just had to get my own! Prince Enma was so kind to let me adopt them.”

He gently petted one, and at his touch, the plushie suddenly came to life, opening its one eye and yipping in excitement. They weren’t plushies at all! They were real pets! Antarc glanced at the “plushie” by his side and noticed it was staring right at him, panting with three hopeful eyes, clearly wanting to be petted.

He knew if he petted it, he wouldn’t be able to stop.

Must. Resist. Cute. Puppy.

“Dian. Can I-” He tried to ignore the adorable dog whining at him. It was just so sweet. "Can I ask you something? It's about-"

”About Phos?” Dian cut in, not even looking at Antarc. He was casually gathering up the small snacks from the table in his hand, keeping them out of reach of the dogs. "Hey, shoo! Not for you!" He had to push them away to keep them from licking at his arms.

“Yes, I-Wait..how did you know?” Antarc asked, not sure if he'll like the answer.

Dian looked at the confused white gem with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “You could say it’s my intuition! Okay, but really, I just keep up with the others. Lots of them said you were asking about Phos at the anniversary party over a thousand years ago! It's one of the only times they've actually seen you in person!”

Antarc wanted to sink into the couch and never come out. He wasn't sure what was worse, the mortifying ordeal of being known enough to get gossiped about, or the shame he felt at it being his only notable social appearance in so long. That was over a thousand years? Geez, I've really lost track.

“Just how much do you know about that night?”

“That you sent the princess storming off? Don't worry I won't tell anyone. Well, anyone who doesn't already know that is!" Dian had the nerve to wink at Antarc. "Anyway, I'm sure Welegato will come around to you eventually.”

I doubt that. Antarc thought. If the confrontation today had anything to say that is. “So, what do you remember about Phos? I’m trying to find out why he turned on everyone. I want the whole story.”

"Oh, that," Dian quickly brushed the crumbs off his shirt and sat up. “It’s complicated. Phos was trying to make Sensei pray, you probably know that. After a night raid with Yellow and Padpa failed, he went alone to earth to try and convince Sensei to pray. Then every gem shattered him. We didn’t see him for years.”

Dian’s eyes darkened as he continued. “So he got desperate. We were all content with our lives on the moon as it was, so we really didn’t think to help him. At least, I didn't. In my eyes everything was fine, but when he threatened to bring Bort back that all changed.”

“He what."

“Yeah. Horrible isn't it?” Dian put on a fake smile, ignoring the increasingly shocked expression on Antarc’s face. "I’m not mad at Phos for that. I think it was good for me to finally confront Bort! Besides, Phos kept his word. It was Prince Enma who brought him to the moon despite my wishes.” He muttered that last part with a hint of annoyance.

“By confronting Bort you mean shattering him, and then never talking to him again?”

“Hey! I said everything I needed to say when we fought.”

"But-”

“AH!” Dian practically jumped across the couch, knocking a startled dog out of his lap, to shush Antarc with a stern finger before he could react. “No more about Bort! I won’t hear it. You came here for Phos so let me continue!”

Dian sat back down and lifted one of the dogs back into his lap, hugging it tightly, while mumbling something Antarc couldn’t hear. Antarc’s brows furrowed in concern but he didn’t push Dian further in fear of angering him. The last thing he needed was two gems with a grudge against him.

“Now that Phos succeeded, and we’re all free and safe, I realized just how important it was and I wish I would’ve helped him sooner. I was so busy with my own problems that I didn’t stop to consider his. Kind of selfish of me isn't it? Hah..” Dian finished with a nervous laugh.

Antarc slumped back on the couch in silence, taking everything in. His expression was blank. The dog by his side whined again and crawled into his lap, laying down. Antarc didn't react, just continued staring for a long time, deep in thought, barely even blinking. Dian tried to look busy examining his nails, waiting anxiously for the other gem's reaction.

Finally, Antarc picked up the dog and plopped it back onto the couch despite its sleepy protests, before jumping up and slamming his hands down on the table as hard as possible.

“WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME?” His furious yell echoed through the room.

Dian let out a startled yelp and all the dogs ran off the couch with fearful yips of their own at the sudden noise. Antarc was too angry to apologize. He started pacing back and forth by the table, muttering in anger.

“Shattered him and left him that way for years? What is wrong with them! He only wanted to help!”

“Antarc!”

“This is inexcusable! When I see ANY of them again I’ll-”

“ANTARC.”

This time Dian managed to snap Antarc out of his rant. He turned to Dian, still fuming with fists clenched at his sides. The pop star gave him a stern look. “Antarc. Nobody on Earth knew Phos' plan. Euclase said as much.”

“...They didn’t know?”

“No, we didn’t even know ourselves until after we arrived on the moon! Phos just told us it’d be a nice place to go to. Nothing about praying or stopping Lunarians or anything! It was just a big misunderstanding so please don’t be mad at them!”

“Why didn’t Phos…”

“I don’t know, I'm sorry! Maybe he was afraid that nobody would understand him?"

"But you all knew. Eventually," Antarc's eyes narrowed, making Dian flinch under his gaze. "And you didn't do anything to help?"

"I said I'm sorry! It was all so sudden. Nobody wanted to turn on our own kind like that. Going against Sensei is a really hard thing to ask of us. Could you have done that?”

"Of course I-" Antarc stopped mid sentence. Hypocrite. The fury in his eyes faded and the blank expression returned in it's place. Turning against Sensei? Hurting him? That wasn't a thought that could EVER enter Antarc's mind.

Even if it meant saving the other gems.

“Of course not," He sighed deeply, relaxing his fists in defeat. "Of course not...”

Now that it was quiet again, the dogs slowly returned to the couch, snorting and growling at Antarc and puffing up their ruffled fur. It made him feel even worse. He didn't think he'd be judged so hard by such little fluffballs.

“I really am such a hypocrite, aren't I?” Antarc flopped back onto the couch, covering his face with his arm, not wanting Dian to see the wispy tears forming in his eyes.

“I'm no better,” Dian's voice was shaky. He put a comforting hand on Antarc's leg. "That's why nobody wants to talk about Phos. Not even Sensei. He doesn't want us to be upset."

"Well, I'm upset anyway!" Antarc groaned and rolled over, burying his face in a pillow. Guilt eating him up inside from the harsh accusations he threw at Dian. "Sorry for snapping at you, by the way."

"It's okay, Antarc. I understand."

“If only we could fix this.” Antarc mumbled, wiping away the tears that slid down his cheek. He didn't know Lunarians could cry.

"If only..." Dian put a thoughtful finger to his chin, scrunching his eyes shut. He started thinking with little "Hm"s and tapping his foot on the floor. Antarc listened numbly to the sounds for what felt like hours until he was startled back to reality by a THUMP. Dian had been the one to slam the table this time.

“Wait. I have an idea! We’ll gather up the gems, the ones that want to say sorry and be TOLD sorry, and then go to earth and talk to Phos! Then nobody has to be upset anymore or feel like giant hypocrites!" Dian pumped his fists in excitement. "Genius, Dian, genius."

"What." Antarc looked at Dian as if he grew two heads. “Dian, we can’t! Traveling to Earth is forbidden! I already asked Enma about seeing Phos once and he shot me down real quick.”

“I know, but maybe if we get enough gems to protest, he’ll have to listen! The Lunarians told me all about that time they got night raids canceled, so we'll do the same! We'll un-cancel the earth trips!"

The dogs all yipped in approval. It was a stupid-sounding plan to Antarc, but Dian's energy and confidence almost convinced him otherwise. Surely this couldn't work, but what other choice did he have? Live mad about this whole thing for the rest of his life?

"We'll talk it all out with Phos and finally settle this thing!"

“Bold words coming from someone who won't even settle things with Bort.” Antarc commented dryly.

“HEY, mister anger-the-princess, we all have our bad sides we don't want to address. But Phos deserves this, doesn't he?"

Antarc didn't want to admit how effective that comment was at striking his nerves, so he deflected it with another question. “Who would we even get on our side? Ghost and Lapis maybe but-”

“Trust me, I know a lot of gems who will come. Oo, wait, I’ll invite them over tonight! It’s been so long since we had a meetup," Now it was Dian's turn to pace around the table, albeit much less violently than Antarc did. "Hmm, Welegato will be hard to invite, and Cinnabar works multiple jobs. I know! I'll take Welegato, you take Cinnabar!"

“Cinnabar?”

“If anyone is a friend to Phos, it’d be him!” Dian said, sighing dreamily for a moment. "They were such an item. Nobody else would help me rescue Phos that one time he was stuck in a shell, but Cinnabar figured it out! Anyway, he has no reason to be mad at you, so it'll be a cakewalk!”

“Alright, alright. I'll give it a shot. Just stop bringing up the princess thing," Antarc huffed and pointed an accusing finger at Dian, who smiled innocently. "Cinnabar. I’ll go right now.”

Antarc really didn’t think this plan will work but, getting the gems together under a single cause sounded nice regardless. This could be the most united any of them have been since, well, back when they fought the Lunarians.

"Tell the others I said 'hi' for me, will you?" Antarc asked as he got up from the couch and started fixing all the pillows he messed up in his outburst. Going back to Ghost and Lapis should be his first move, then he'd track down Cinnabar.

Antarc had just finished fixing up the last of the pillows when Dian roughly grabbed his wrist.

“Wait!”

Antarc nearly fell over from being yanked back so hard. Again with the wrist? He looked at Dian in annoyance and tried to pull his aching wrist free to no avail. "Oi."

Dian just gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Hey, Antarc, listen. Don’t go anywhere yet. You’re the one who cares about Phos the most so the other gems are gonna need to hear from you tonight. Besides, we’ve never had you over for a meetup before! It'll be fun!”

“Dian, this is important, not a party." Antarc tried to yank his arm loose again but Dian held firm. "Trust me, I'd like to, but I really should get going. I don’t want to-”

“Antarc.” Dian shifted into a serious tone. “Please. You’re always alone. I never did this for Phos, don’t let me make the same mistake again.”

Antarc opened his mouth for a snarky reply but found no words. Dian was, unfortunately, right. He did spend all his time alone. If he wanted the others to listen to his cause, he’d have to be there for them first. Otherwise, he'd end up like Phos. No communication. No supporters. A total hypocrite.

“Pleaaase?” Dian gently shook him by the wrist. When that didn't elicit a response, he tilted his head with his eyes sparkling. The dogs behind him joined in with head-tilts on their own. If logic hadn't already won Antarc over, then that probably would have.

“Okay, okay you win. I’ll stay.” Antarc relented, gently nudging the other gem with his free hand. "Thank you. Now let go please?"

Dian giggled and finally released Antarc's poor wrist. “It’ll be great!" He promised. "It may not be a party, but I’ll have Alex bring some cooking anyway. He always makes the best food!”

“Oh, Dian, I don’t eat.”

“Trust me, Alex’s food? You will.”

Chapter Text

Antarc woke with a groan. His head was pounding and his limbs were tangled in a mess of blankets and pillows.

And to top it all off, his shirt was on backwards.

This is why I don't drink.

He sat up slowly, trying not to aggravate his headache, and blinked through groggy eyes at the lights in the house that had brightened to reflect the morning.

What a wild night.

Even though Dian promised it’d be a serious meeting, with absolutely no partying, it had quickly devolved into a party anyway.

Not that Antarc had really minded in the end. Dian’s closest friends had been the ones to attend the meeting and despite his shyness, he was able to enjoy his time with them. He was even convinced to try drinking for the first time! But more importantly, he was able to tell them all about the plan to try and see Phos, and now he had several more gems on his side.

Alex, Benito, Goshenite, and Thirty-Three to name a few.

Unfortunately, some of the attendees hadn’t quite been convinced. Like Euclase, who had already tried to get Phos some help several times before and was convinced that asking was pointless.

And Eighty-Four, who worked closely with Enma and was certain the answer would always be no.

Still, a good start all things considered. There was still plenty of time to get those two on board anyway.
Antarc wasn’t going to stop now. No way.

Though he cringed internally at the idea of leaving the house or doing anything at all today with this headache. Maybe Phos could hold on a little longer while he rested? Surely this can’t last all day!

He gently rubbed his forehead in an attempt to ease away the dull pain. It wasn’t helping. Okay, maybe this WOULD last all day. Why did anyone like drinking again?

“Man, for someone who doesn’t do alcohol, you sure had a lot last night.”

Antarc slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the bright light. He expected Dian to be standing over him, but instead, it was Benito, with a cold rag and a glass of water in hand. He had a concerned but kind look on his face.

“Hangover, huh? The trick is to drink lots of water too to help balance it out.”

“Oh." Antarc wasn't exactly sure how that worked but he was grateful for the tip anyway.

"To be honest, I didn't think I'd have so much. Thanks, Benito.”

Antarc got up slowly, wincing at the shooting pain. He gave Benito a thankful albeit pained smile and took the glass and rag. He hesitated before taking a sip. He wasn’t exactly fond of the idea of putting more liquid in his body, especially with what came after drinking. But Phos needed his help as soon as possible, so if this got rid of his awful headache then so be it.

You owe me, Phos. He thought as he quickly chugged the whole glass. He coughed roughly and wiped off his mouth, trying to ignore Benito’s little snort of amusement, and raised the rag to his head. The coolness thankfully relieved some of the pain.

Sighing, Antarc glanced around the room, his tired eyes finally adjusting to the light. Other than Benito, only two other gems from last night’s meeting remained in the room. Both asleep. Goshenite, who was snoring among the pillows on the floor, and to Antarc’s surprise, Dian, who was all sprawled out on the opposite couch.

He figured a busy pop star like Dian would have to get up early. He didn’t even drink last night! What’s his excuse?

“Dian always sleeps in when there’s no event going on,” Benito said as if reading his mind. “He sleeps a LOT actually. Sometimes all day if nobody comes and gets him."

"That’s…unexpected of him." Antarc said, unsure how to feel about that. Was Dian lazy or just sadder than he thought?

Antarc noticed a plate of food on the table next to him. It was untouched, aside from a single half-eaten piece of toast. No doubt Benito's.

"Are you feeling alright? You barely touched your food. I didn't interrupt, did I?" Antarc asked, feeling guilty.

“Oh no! I'm just not hungry, and I realized only after I made all the food.” Benito said, carefully sitting down next to Antarc.

"Nervous?"

"Yeah. About the plan. I mean it's a great plan but what if he says no? What are you going to do? I know you won't forget about Phos so easily."

"Just keep trying everything I can, I guess. As long as he's out there I won't give up. It's what he would've done for me."

"Yeah. He would've." Benito placed a gentle hand on Antarc's shoulder and laughed quietly.  "That gem loved you."

Antarc quickly turned his face away from Benito, taking advantage of the rag to hide the small flush forming on his cheeks.

Benito pretended not to notice and instead gave Antarc a determined look.
"Well, if you won't give up, then I won't either! I know I can get Nepti to join us! So maybe I can-"

“Wait. You and Neptunite are still a thing?" Antarc cut in.

Benito’s eyes widened in shock at Antarc’s question, as if this was a crazy thing to imply. "Um, yeah. Is that weird?"

"Well, no, not at all. I’m just surprised. I thought everyone split up after the attack on earth."

“Ohh, okay. Like Dian and Bort, right?” Benito nodded thoughtfully, but his face was still full of concern. "It's true that a lot of us haven't recovered but, Nepti and I managed to figure things out alright.”

Antarc continued to stare at Benito, waiting for an explanation. Benito tried to stare back at him but cracked under his gaze, giggling.

“Is it really that hard to believe?"

"Yes." Antarc answered without a hint of sarcasm.

"Sheesh, okay. Well, you see, during the attack, I told Nepti my feelings. I didn't get enough time to say anything, but I did get to say how I felt about him. He confronted me again after everyone was revived on the moon, and he told me he was sorry. I was kind of shocked but, happy you know? We've been trying to make more of an effort to understand each other. We may not be partners anymore but for the first time, I actually feel like we're friends."

Benito sighed wistfully. "Silly isn't it? I spent years not knowing what that guy thinks, but, in the end all I had to do is ask."

He turned to Antarc with a gloomy look. "Why was that so hard?"

Antarc glanced at Dian’s sleeping form, remembering how quickly the white gem had waved away the idea of reconnecting with Bort.

"I guess, we spent so long just trying to survive that we never got time to figure out how to handle the hard stuff. It's easier to just..forget."

“That’s why I’m happy you’re doing this. The talk with Enma is going to be like, the hardest thing ever! I'm sure most of us wouldn't have done it without you. It feels like you can do anything, Antarc.”

Not everything. Antarc thought bitterly. I couldn't stay alive. I couldn't be there for Phos. If I had, things would've been different.

It was hard to tell if things would've been worse or not.

“Heh, sorry if I killed the mood." Benito said with an apologetic smile.

"What mood? I have a headache, and you're distracting me from it. I'm glad you're here, Benito, in more ways than one."

His words seemed to reassure Benito, who leaned against him.

"I'm glad you're back, Antarc." He whispered.

The two gems sat in comfortable silence for a while, waiting for Antarc's hangover to end. Antarc continued to dab the cold rag against his head, growing irritated at his headache. He didn’t have time for this! He had to go out and see Cinnabar, and hope that the whole process wouldn’t be headache-inducing as well.

When the rag ceased to be cold, he set it down on the couch and got up, stretching. His head still hurt but admittedly, it was a bit better.

"Alright, this is as good as it gets. I should head out. Could you tell Dian I said thank you for everything?"

“I will! Are you sure you don’t want to stay a little longer? It'll help if you rest.”

“Nope,” Antarc said in an instant, earning a raised brow from Benito. "Hey, don't give me that look! I won't be able to sit still!"

“You really have a one-track mind, don’t you?” Benito asked, a wide grin creeping across his face.

“Maybe I do. But this one-track mind is what's saving Phos' ass.” Antarc huffed in response.

Two large Lunarian servants suddenly appeared from the hall and offered to escort Antarc to the door.
The former gem wondered just how much of his conversation had been overheard by them. Creepy.

“Wait! Where were you going again?” Benito called after him as he walked to the door.

“To see Cinnabar.”

"Right. But do you know where he is?"

Antarc stopped short of the door and slowly turned around, pivoting on his heel. The shame he felt showed clearly on his face.

"No…"

Benito giggled and shook his head in exasperation. "Thought so, but I don't blame you. He works a lot of different jobs, it’s hard to keep track. Let's see...today he should be at the theme park!...I think."

"You think or you know?"

Benito could only shrug. That's comforting.

Sigh. "Theme park got it."

Antarc was least sure about one thing, the theme park would be easy to find. Who could miss that place? Cinnabar couldn’t have picked a more findable spot if he tried! Antarc waved goodbye and exited through the door held open by the two Lunarian servants.

Benito watched the door close with a small sigh. He hoped everything would work out with Cinnabar.

“Guess I should go see a few gems myself now.” He mused. Benito picked up the tray off the table and headed for the kitchen, unaware that Dian was wide awake on the couch behind him, staring at the door in deep thought.

Antarc made his way to the theme park. It was a massive attraction, far easier to find than the library since nothing else looked quite like it. The only problem is that it's on the far opposite side of the moon city from Dian's house, and Antarc was seriously tired of walking around by now.

And this hangover was not helping.

At least the streets were quiet in the morning, it was the one thing Antarc appreciated about the moon. Nights and midday were bustling with activity, but in the early morning, most Lunarians were still sleeping at home. He could wake up early and enjoy a sense of peace, or just a sense of not being run over the second his feet hit the street. Antarc breathed in deeply. That's the one thing that would never change about his life. He would always enjoy the silence.

He would always miss the winter.

A few Lunarians waved politely to him as he passed and he waved back. Others were too busy drinking coffee with half-lidded eyes to notice him. It was nice.

Antarc looked up at the stars and was at peace for the first time in a while.

"Hey, Antarc!"

Annnnd the peace is gone.

Goshe suddenly popped up in front of him with a huge smile. He was so close that Antarc almost crashed into him.

I take my eyes off the road for ONE second.

"Goshe, please! I’m walking!"

“I waved to you! Maybe you should pay attention while you walk, silly!” Gauche retorted, sticking his tongue out.

Antarc had several biting comments of his own he could say, but his lingering headache reminded him that getting into a fight right now wasn't worth it .

“Sooo, are you going to the theme park?” Goshe asked.

“Uh, yeah. How did you know?”

"Oh! I was wide awake the whole time while you two were yammering! I heard all about the plan with Cinnabar!"

"But you were-oh forget it. I don't want to know." Antarc groaned in defeat. He was certain Goshe had been snoring the entire time. Very creepy.

"C'mon, I'll catch you a ride, it’ll be quicker!" Goshe gestured for Antarc to follow him and then took off down the street.

"A ride?" Antarc echoed loudly, choosing to quickly walk after the other gem rather than run. His head would protest otherwise.

"Yeah!" Goshe slowed down to match Antarc's pace. "Since the ships aren't allowed to go to earth anymore, we all use them for fast travel on the moon instead!"

Antarc wanted to facepalm. He could've done that yesterday! He had seen the ships flying around before, but he always hated how they reminded him of that day on the beach, so he never bothered paying attention to what they were actually doing.

Goshe watched his face closely. "Did you not know that?"

Antarc shot him an annoyed look and picked up his pace.

"I'm just not used to the idea of flying a ship, that's all." He grumbled, not wanting to admit the truth.

"Hehe, gotcha."

Goshe darted back in front of him and led him to a small bench on the side of the street. Goshe pressed a small button on a pedestal beside the bench.
Before Antarc could begin to question what this had to do with ships, one suddenly began to emerge from the ground next to them.

The ship unfolded, opening up to reveal a Lunarian already inside. Antarc didn't feel like asking where it all came from.

"Greetings, sirs. Where to?" The Lunarian asked with a very no-nonsense voice.

"To the theme park and quick! It's important! Uh, please!"

Goshe wasted no time climbing aboard and seating himself down by the center of the ship. Antarc climbed up much slower. His heart beating a little faster. Even if it wasn't trying to hurt him this time, he still wasn't fond of being inside it. Too many bad memories.

But you gotta do what you gotta do.

The ship folded back up, leaving just enough of a gap in the walls to look outside, and lifted into the air. Antarc made the mistake of peeking out. They were much higher up than he expected. The ship was also faster than he would've liked. The streets below them went rushing by in a blur. Antarc held onto his seat. Even if nothing would happen to him if he fell, he was still uncomfortable.

Walking was slow but superior for sure.

Goshe, on the other hand, was humming to himself and bouncing in his seat like nothing was wrong. Luckily for Antarc, the ride was over almost as soon as it had begun. The ship unfurled to reveal the theme park in all its grandeur. Antarc thanked the Lunarian as he got off the ship, trying to keep his legs from wobbling.

"Anytime, sir!" She said, saluting. Then the ship curled up and was gone, vanishing back into the floor.

"See, wasn't that fun?" Goshe said with a laugh, already heading for the park entrance.

"To be honest, no." Antarc admitted, following him inside, still on shaky legs.

Despite it still being early, the park was already bustling with activity. Plenty of Lunarians came as soon as possible to beat the long lines that would form later. Antarc had only been here twice. It was much noisy for his taste, but a few of the games had been entertaining enough to keep his interest.

He noticed Goshe was already getting distracted by one of said games.

"Goshe!" Antarc called. "Remember, we're just here for Cinnabar!

Goshe turned around and pouted at him with the biggest puppy eyes he could muster. Antarc felt his eyebrow twitch.

"Okaaaay, I'll take you to Cinnabar first." He abandoned the game and returned to Antarc's side. "Maybe we can get some of the cotton candy while we're there!"

"No cotton candy," Antarc said in a stern tone. "You're a scatterbrain, you know that?"

"Well, YOU'RE no fun!" Goshe huffed, taking Antarc by the hand and leading him further into the park. Antarc wanted to roll his eyes. He was about to ask Goshe if he actually knew where he was going until he caught sight of pale red hair in one of the stalls.

It was Cinnabar! Working right at the cotton candy stall. Oh, well now Antarc felt like a bit of a jerk.

"Hey, Cinnie!" Goshe called out to the other gem. Cinnabar looked startled at first, but then an uncharacteristically large smile formed on his face. It made Antarc do a double take. Cinnabar was smiling. Really smiling! Right at them! It was unheard of!

"Hey guys," Cinnabar greeted them both, his voice soft. "What can I get for you?"

"Hmmm, ooh the orange one! Star-shaped, please!" Goshe said, eagerly pointing at one of the menu items displayed on the side of the stall.

"Can do." Cinnbar quickly got to work spinning up the treat. When he was finished, he turned his attention to Antarc.

"And you, Antarc?"

The white gem couldn't think straight when faced with that adorable smile.

"Uh." He stammered, briefly glancing at the menu before scolding himself. He was so distracted he almost forgot what he even came here for!

"Antarc just came here to talk to you!" Goshe said, cutting in. The young gem took his cotton candy from Cinnabar, said a quick "thank you" and then immediately shoved the whole thing into his mouth. The sight almost made Antarc's headache flare back up.

"But hey," He mumbled at Antarc over his gigantic mouthful. "If you do order anything I recommend the blue flavor, I think it'd suit your taste!"

Antarc wanted so badly to wipe off the mess on the young gem's face. Instead, he turned to Cinnabar, who was still waiting for his request and smiling politely all the while.

Was that a hint of amusement on his face too? Antarc couldn't help but smile back, it was nice to see such a pleasant look on the red gem.

"What Goshe said is true. I need to talk to you. It's really important." He said.

"Is something wrong?" Cinnabar asked, his smile fading. It almost made Antarc feel bad for the bomb he was about to drop.

"No, I just need you to do something for us. With us, actually! We're going to try and visit Phos."

Unlike Welegato or Ghost, Cinnabar's expression wasn't angry, happy, or even sad at the mention of Phos. It just went blank. Eerily blank.

"Well, try to anyway, we need to convince Enma to let us and, um, it's going to take as many of our voices as possible to break through to him."

As he continued on, his voice started to shake. Cinnabar staring at him with that blank face made him want to break apart.

"I-I already got a few others to join me, like Dian and Goshe-"

Antarc turned to get the young gem to join in but he was gone. Probably disappeared into the park as soon as Antarc turned his back.

Oi, you're a bad example.

"Ahem. Now we want you too. You don't have to of course, but it'd really help."

Cinnabar finally did something with his face. He looked angry now. His eyes darted down to the floor to avoid Antarc's eyes as he drummed his fingers on the counter.

"D-Dian said you'd be the perfect person to ask. I don't know how true that is, but Phos needs us. He's all alone out there, and you know what that feels like."

Cinnabar kept his eyes on the floor. Not saying a single word.

"Please, Cinnabar?" Antarc asked, his anxiety growing bigger the longer the silence lasted.

Cinnabar took a deep breath and looked back up at Antarc. His eyes were misty. He was crying. Antarc reached to comfort him but was interrupted by the red gem's first words since they started this conversation.

"Okay."

Antarc's spirits lifted at his response.

"Okay you'll come?"

"I didn't say that. Just, okay I understand."

Antarc's spirits fell back down.

Cinnabar noticed his disappointment at least, judging by the guilty look he had. He rubbed his forehead in frustration, thinking for a moment, before dropping his hand to his side and sighing in defeat.

"Look, I need some time to think about it. Meet me at the Admirabilis care center tonight and I'll give you my answer."

Well, that was better than nothing.

"Why there if I may ask?"

"I work there too," Cinnabar said. "It's way quieter, I can think better."

"Alright, you got a deal. I'll be there."

Antarc did the usual and offered out his hand for Cinnabar to shake. The red gem hesitated before finally taking the hand and shaking it. Antarc cringed at how sticky his hand was.

"Now do you want to order anything?" Cinnabar asked, sounding tired.

"No, I'm good." Antarc tried to subtly wipe his hand off on his clothes but the perturbed look on Cinnabar's face told him he wasn't doing a good job at it.

"Then I'll have to ask you to not hold up the line any longer."

Antarc looked over his shoulder and was met with the many upset Lunarian faces lined up behind him.

"Sorry." Antarc gave them a small apologetic wave and hopped out of the line, feeling flustered. He hadn't even noticed them!

Cinnabar gave him one last look before addressing the first customer. His smile returned, looking a bit forced now.

Antarc wanted to say more but he knew it'd only make things worse.

The best he could do was give Cinnabar time and hope the red gem had it in his heart to forgive Phos.

Chapter Text

“I can see why you work here,” Antarc said, gazing up at the large white building before him.

The Admirabilis care center. A place almost completely isolated from the rest of the moon. Antarc had to take a ship just to get here in decent time. It stood proudly out beyond the city, with the only company around being that of the Admirabilis themselves, wandering aimlessly across the moon’s surface.

The center was where the Admirabilis were fed, tended to for any wounds, and where the eggs were kept safe until they hatched. It was also home to a large family of jellyfish that had been smuggled here from earth. Said jellyfish were often placed in display tanks during parties or even owned by some as private pets.

Antarc hadn’t been here before. The larger Admirabilis individuals made him nervous and he preferred to observe them from afar. He knew they weren’t aggressive, but still, some of these creatures had molten hot skin!

“Why’s that?” Cinnabar asked, cutting into his thoughts. The red former-gem was focused on doing up his long hair in a neat bun. He was wearing a much neater-looking outfit than his theme park attire, consisting of a suit and lab coat.

“It’s like you said. It’s quiet, isolated, and surrounded by cute animals. It’s very…you.” Antarc said. It was the polar opposite of the loud, busy theme park. Antarc probably would’ve liked working here too if it wasn’t for the whole feeding gigantic, intimidating snails part.

Cinnabar blushed at his words. “I’m just here for the jellyfish. More or less.”

Before Antarc could comment on his red face, Cinnabar quickly headed for one of the doors, forcing Antarc to follow him. Past the door was a long hallway that led to the side of the building dedicated to jellyfish care.

“So, just how many jobs do you have?” Antarc asked, trying to ease any tension between them.

“Three this year, but I’ve had more.” Cinnabar said, still adjusting his hair as he walked.

“Any favorites?”

Cinnabar glanced back at Antarc with a small smile. “I like being a florist. Finally being able to touch flowers makes me happy. I arranged all the floral decorations for the past few anniversary parties.”

“I’m sure your work is beautiful.” Antarc didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t attended a single one of those parties since the incident with Welegato. Maybe he should after all this is over, just to see the red gem's handiwork. “So, who convinced you to work at the theme park?”

“Nobody. I just like trying new things.” Cinnabar said with a shrug. They reached the end of the hall and Cinnabar pushed open another large door, leading them inside. “Cotton candy is fun to spin. As for the jellyfish, well-”

They stepped inside the room. It was dimly lit, with a gigantic pool of water in the middle. The faint light came from the dozens of jellyfish glowing in the pool.

A single Lunarian was there, kneeling by the pool and feeding the jellies with a long syringe.

“-that was his idea.”

To Antarc’s surprise, the Lunarian was none other than Bort. Even though Antarc still wasn’t used to Bort’s short hair, he could still instantly recognize that mellow yet determined face anywhere. Bort looked up from his work and saw the two gems, a smile forming on his lips.

The smile was directed right at Cinnabar, who smiled back and gave Bort a shy wave. His face was all flushed again.

Antarc looked back and forth between the two former gems and realization swept over him. Now it all made sense why Dian had asked him to go see Cinnabar.

The red gem was hopelessly in love with Bort.

Bort finished up with the jellyfish and headed over to them. He greeted Antarc in a normal fashion, but with Cinnabar, his whole demeanor was different. Bort spoke to Cinnabar in such a warm and gentle way that it was almost too sickeningly sweet for Antarc to handle.

“Was everything alright today?” Bort asked the blushing gem, tucking a stray strand of pale red hair behind his ear.

“Yes, as always. But it was boring without you.” came the loving reply.

“You don’t mean that. We both know I only make things more boring.”

Antarc couldn't help but affectionately roll his eyes at the two of them. He coughed loudly to get their attention and the two gems snapped to him, looking embarrassed as if they had already forgotten he was there. Bort gently touched his forehead against Cinnabar’s before parting, turning his attention back to Antarc.

“Sorry. What did you need, Antarc?” He asked. “If you want to work here we could always use more hands but…you’re not here for that are you?”

“You could tell, huh? Good guess.” Antarc said. “It’s true, I just came here to discuss something with Cinnabar.”

“Discuss what?” Bort asked, giving Cinnabar a puzzled look. Cinnabar just sighed and ran his hand down his face, mumbling something to himself.

“Is it about the plan to see Phos?” He asked again, sounding more concerned.

“Wait, you know about that already?” Antarc blinked at him.

“Yeah, Cinna told me,” Bort replied with a shrug. “Is that bad?”

“No, not at all,” Antarc couldn’t get a good read on Bort’s feelings with that straight face of his, so he didn’t know what the other gem thought of his plan. “We were going to tell every gem eventually.”

“Well then-”

“I’m not going.” Cinnabar suddenly interrupted, causing both gems to turn their attention to him.

Waiting so long only to hear such a solid “no” stoked the fires of annoyance within Antarc. Bort shot him an apologetic look but he was already opening his mouth to protest.

“But I didn’t bring you here for nothing!” Cinnabar said quickly, cutting him off before he could speak. Antarc hoped the glare he was sending Cinnabar’s way was communicating how irritated he felt.

“Bort will go, and so will Topaz.”

“Sure will!” A shrill voice rang out from the other end of the room, startling Antarc. He hadn’t realized anyone else was here. He whipped around to see the very faint silhouette of Topaz waving at him from behind some boxes in a dark corner. Antarc timidly returned the wave. Then the first volunteer’s name registered in his brain, and so did the shock that came with it.

“You will?” He asked, turning back and pointing to Bort. “You?”

Bort looked equally surprised at his reaction. “Yeah. Why is that a big deal?”

“It’s just, from what the others have said-” Mostly Dian. “-you weren’t exactly fond of Phos.”

Bort crossed his arms, looking upset at the accusation.

“Maybe I wasn’t, but it’s not like I hated him or anything. Though I did hate how that dumbass never told me anything about what he was doing.”

“Bort.” Cinnabar whispered sternly, elbowing him.

“Sorry,” Bort flinched and gingerly rubbed his side. “I guess I never understood why he wanted to fight so badly. It was just going to get him or someone else shattered, so why not just do something more peaceful? I wish I had that luxury back then.”

Bort glanced back at the pool where the jellyfish were lazily swimming about. “It was a good thing he brought us all here. So even though I’d gladly break him to pieces again given the chance-”

“Ahem.” It was Antarc’s turn to interrupt Bort’s violent musings. Cinnabar had his arm already raised to elbow him again as well.

“What?” Bort stepped away from the two gems with his hands up. “He pissed me off!”

Who didn't he piss off? Antarc thought to himself.

“As I was saying, I’m going to help him anyway. As a diamond, I'm supposed to protect us. All of us.” Bort finished, eyeing Cinnabar warily for any more elbowing attempts, but the red gem just sighed and walked over to the pool instead.

“I’m not actually going to break him, you do know that right? I don’t do that anymore.” Bort murmured to the red gem as he passed by.

“I hope so,” Antarc chimed in and elbowed Bort, albeit much gentler than Cinnabar had done. “Jellyfish care suits you better, I’d think.”

Bort shot him a glare, but it quickly melted back into a smile. “I like cute things, alright?” He admitted with a slight blush.

“Explains his love for you, doesn’t it, Cinna?” Antarc went to wink at the red gem but he was now sitting down by the pool, idly swirling a finger in the water. His back turned to the others.

“Cinnabar? Are you alright?” Antarc asked, feeling worried. Did I say something wrong?

“No,” Cinnabar answered bluntly, not looking up from the water. Some of the jellyfish started to swim closer to his hand.

“Listen, about Phos...I understand if you don’t want to help. I know he probably hurt you. He hurt a lot of us so-”

“You don’t understand anything, Antarc,” Cinnabar snapped, hitting the water with his fist. “I hurt him.”

Cinnabar continued to stare at his rippled reflection, his eyes full of hate, as if his own face angered him.

“I’m the one who came up with that stupid idea to bury him in the ground. I left him to rot because I didn't know what to do! I didn’t do anything when he needed me most!”

Antarc barely had time to register or be angry about any of this new information as Cinnabar continued his rant, his chest heaving with a sob.

“I always told m-myself, I’d be his partner if he’d just ask..but now I know...I should’ve just joined him anyway.” A few wispy tears floated down from his face into the water, further distorting his reflection. The jellyfish that had been startled away by his outburst started swimming back to him, as if they felt bad for him too.

“I can’t face him, knowing I’ve been so happy without him.” Cinnabar said, burying his face in his arms.

Antarc had been told about Phos being buried for two hundred years, but he didn't know the idea could be credited to just one gem. let alone this gem. In any other context, he would’ve been furious at Cinnabar, but not this time. He couldn't muster up any sort of anger. Only pity. How could he be mad, when the gem responsible was full of so much regret?

Cinnabar’s quiet sobbing echoed in the room. Bort went to comfort him but Antarc quickly grabbed him by the sleeve, holding him back.

“Let me.” He pleaded. Bort hesitated for a moment, but nodded and let him pass.

I’ve done this a few times now.

Antarc seated himself down next to Cinnabar.

Had this conversation a few times.

He pulled Cinnabar’s sobbing form close to his own, hugging him tightly.

And I’m pretty confident I know what to say by now.

“If you’re anything like me, Cinna, you’re not going to be able to forgive yourself unless you actually talk to him.” He whispered to the crying gem.

"But what if he hates me?" Cinnabar whispered back. “What could I even say?”

"Honestly, I don't know. But a genuine apology is a good start. Sometimes it won't be enough but, then you'll just have to do your best to make it up to him."

Antarc made a mental note to try to apologize to Welegato as soon as this was all over. After all, he was trying not to be a hypocrite. "You said it yourself. Doing nothing made it all worse. Even if you don't do what to say, you still have to try. Besides, what if he thinks you hate him too? What if he can’t forgive himself either?"

Cinnabar sniffed, wiping his teary eyes with his sleeve.

“It's going to be alright, Cinnabar." Antarc reassured him. "We all did some terrible things and we're all just trying to heal from it."

"But you didn't do anything terrible."

Antarc froze for a second before replying. "I did, actually. I waited years before I did anything about him. That's why I'm trying to keep you from doing the same mistake."

He let go of the red gem and looked down at his own reflection. His hair and clothes were all disheveled. He couldn't remember the last time he brushed anything. This was what Phos had fought for. Somehow. He still couldn't understand it after all the time he spent thinking about it. But he wasn't ever going to let it go to waste.

"You don’t need to come and see him right now anyway," He continued, fighting back his own tears. "We just need your support for the time being. You can have that talk when you're ready, just, don't wait too long this time alright?”

Cinnabar stared at the water for a while longer before finally turning to face the white gem, his eyes were puffy but he had a determined look in them now.

"Alright, I‘ll do it." His voice still shaky. "Vouch for you, I mean."

It felt like Antarc's whole soul was healed by those words. He was relieved, not for himself, but for Cinnabar. Some of the jellyfish even starting bouncing up and down in the water, like they were cheering for the red gem.

“He really does want to see him though. That’s why he worries so much about it, even if he doesn't have to.” Bort cut in. 

“BORT!” Cinnabar cried, looking betrayed.

"What? I'm right." Bort did his best to defend himself but the red gem hissed at him through gritted teeth.

"He wasn't supposed to know that."

“Alright, you two.” Antarc just rolled his eyes again and got up, holding out a hand for Cinnabar, who took it and hauled himself up as well, still glaring daggers at Bort.

"Ugh, he's right and so are you." Cinnabar finally relented, crossing one arm. "I have to go. I won't be able to forgive myself unless I do. If Bort can go despite everything, then so can I."

"It’ll be okay," Bort said. "I'll be there with you. We both will.”

He returned to Cinnabar's side and the red gem leaned into him. "And If he gives you trouble, I'll...deal with him. Nicely." He whispered.

Cinnabar snorted and playfully smacked his arm in response.

Their relationship was an unexpected but pleasant outcome. It pleased Antarc to no end to see Cinnabar finally getting support after so long.

Including mine. I’m here for him. I finally feel like I'm a real part of this family.

Now we just need you too, Phos. For it to be complete.

The three gems left the room along with Topaz, catching the young gem up on everything on the way out. While Topaz had never met Phos, he had a kind heart and was willing to help regardless. Antarc couldn't help but wonder if some of his kindness had rubbed off on Bort, and that's part of the reason he agreed to join the cause.

As the gems exited the building, Antarc breathed a sigh of relief. Three more gems. We're getting closer.

"When should we confront Enma?" Bort asked him, looking as equally determined as Antarc felt.

"I don't know," He confessed. "I want as many gems with us as possible and we shouldn't try to rush things. I think we should just meet up again when we're certain we have everyone."
Antarc mentally counted up everyone they had already recruited. It wasn't even a quarter of the amount of former-gems on the moon.

"But uh, still try to be somewhat quick about it. I already took forever to get this started, I don't want to wait any longer than I have to." He added.

Bort hummed in agreement, while Cinnabar took Antarc's hand and gave it an affirming squeeze.

“I refuse to wait any longer too.” His hand was shaking and clammy, and Antarc couldn't blame him. His nerves were thoroughly wracked as well at the prospect of actually facing Enma, and eventually, Phos.

But this kind of solidarity with his fellow gems, this sense of family, already made it all worth it.

"You should ask Padparadscha next. He likes Phos." Bort suggested.

Antarc could barely contain the exhausted groan that wanted to escape his lips.

He felt so accomplished about convincing Cinnabar that he almost forgot about how many more times he'd have to do this.

He should probably just go to bed, shouldn't he?

Nah, one more couldn't hurt.

"Will do," he said, ignoring his body's protesting as he stretched. "Let's just hope this doesn’t take me all night."

Antarc walked back to his apartment with slow, tired steps. It was probably well past midnight by now and the talk with Padparadscha had been more exhausting than he thought it would be. Turns out Padpa still hung out near Rutile, and the doctor was unfortunately one of the gems that hadn't forgiven Phos. Once he got involved, the conversation went anything but smoothly. Padpa had long forgiven Phos, which was a fact that drove a wedge between himself and Rutile.

Antarc was pretty good at getting gems to forgive Phos, but getting them to forgive each other? He was still working on that one.

For now, he just wanted to go home and lay on the couch for a few hours. Maybe stare at the ceiling while he’s at it. He deserved it. His social battery had been thoroughly drained from the past few days. Just a year ago, he would've barely said "hi" to anyone but Sensei, let alone hung out with them and talked about all their emotional issues.

He'd be proud of himself right now if he wasn’t so tired.

"Antarc."

Speaking of Sensei.

Antarc stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Sensei standing behind him with a look of deep concern.

"I know what you're going to say," Antarc said, facing him down. "That I shouldn't be doing this. That it'd be easier to just move on."

Sensei lowered his gaze.

"But I can't, Sensei. I can't just forget him! Neither can Dian or Cinnabar!"

"I know you can't," Sensei said quietly. "I could never forget him either. But Antarc, you can't stop what Enma has planned."

"Why not? Why does Phos have to stay separated from us? Just to become some kind of machine? That's not fair to him and you know that."

"It's not about becoming a machine, Antarc. It's about finding his happiness. He has to, or all this-" Sensei gestured towards the moon’s surface. It still sparkled with remnants of the gems' shards. "-would've been for nothing."

"And I can't be a part of his happiness?" Antarc cried, a lump forming in his throat. Sensei's expression changed to one of pity and he reached forward to comfort Antarc, but the white gem backed away

"I just want to talk to him. I just want him to know I'm okay. How can that possibly mess things up?"

Antarc’s shoulders shook with the sob that was building in his chest. Sensei reached for him again and this time, he didn’t try to back away from the comforting hand that was placed on his head.

"I miss him, Sensei."

"I know, and I'm sorry. If I could change how things turned out I would. But I cannot betray Enma's wishes, for your sake. I already failed once to bring you all the happiness you deserve."

Sensei looked up longingly at the earth in the distance.

"And now it’s up to Phos. I don't want you to be upset if it turns out there's nothing you can do."

Antarc turned his gaze away from Sensei, clenching his fist.

"Maybe I can't, but who cares? At least I'll know I tried."

Antarc met Sensei's eyes one last time.

"And I wish you would too."

Chapter Text

Year 1550.

Summer is coming to an end.

Winter will be here in the next few months. There's still plenty of time to prepare for hibernation.

Plenty of time to make sure everything’s perfect.

Moissanite stood tall just outside the school, observing the morning sky. The wind whipped through his glittery white hair and it caught the light from the rising sun, sending a shimmering reflection all across the grass.

Clear and windy today with no sign of any clouds. We’ll have to be on high alert. Moissanite noted to himself.

He turned on his heel and headed back inside the school towards the meeting hall. It was where the gems had their morning assembly first thing every day. Moissanite would report on the weather and go over battle strategies with the other gems, making sure everyone was prepared in case of a Lunarian attack. Then, he would assign everyone their roles for the day. There were only five gems, not counting Sensei, and a lot of different jobs that needed to be done, so everyone took turns depending on what was needed at the time.

Ruby, the ever-excitable red gem and second oldest, was in charge of textiles, woodwork, and smithing. Any time the school needed new furniture or supplies, it would be his job to provide them.

Mordenite, the beautiful white gem with bits of blue cavansite all through his body, was the youngest and in charge of sewing and crafting, as well as being a doctor in training.

And finally, Bloodstone, a hot-headed black gem, along with his partner Serandite, an aloof and ever-sleepy orange gem, handled all of the patrolling together. If any of the other gems weren’t needed for their specific job that day, they were sent out to patrol the land as well.

As for Moissanite himself, he was the president of the school, which meant he had to oversee everything. Moissanite worked hard every day to ensure that things were running smoothly when Sensei wasn't around. He was also part-time doctor.

Everyone had a purpose and a place to be, and everyone was safe.

It was all perfectly planned.

Or at least…it would be if the other gems weren’t actively trying to ruin it.

Moissanite could already feel his patience wearing thin as he entered the meeting hall and was greeted with a less than ideal sight.

Bloodstone was pacing around the planning table, muttering curses under his breath, while Serandite was fast asleep in one of the chairs at the front of the table, somehow managing to look bored even while unconscious. Ruby was sitting in his own chair to the side of the table, mindlessly fiddling with a small rock in his hands. Across from him sat Mordenite, who calmly studied his nails on one ungloved hand, looking even more bored than Serandite. 

Moissanite could only stand there, bristling in disbelief.

How dare none of them take this seriously!

He had given them plenty of time to wake up and get ready. He had set up the table, come up with the battle plans, and kept track of the supply count all by himself. It was all his doing! None of the others had to do any of the hard work, yet here they were, acting completely uninterested, all because they had to sit down and behave for a few minutes. 

The agitating sound of Bloodstone’s shoes clacking on the floor only made Moissanite’s mood worse.

Bunch of irritating rocks, the whole lot of them.

Unable to bear Bloodstone's pacing anymore, Moissanite loudly clapped his hands together to get the other gems’ attention.

Bloodstone immediately halted his pacing and swerved around to glare at the white gem. Mordenite straightened up, putting his hand down and smiling, but his eyes kept darting around as if he’d rather be doing anything but sit here. Ruby put down his rock and sat up straight as well, but refused to look directly at Moissanite.

And Serandite was still sleeping.

Moissanite angrily marched over to the sleeping orange gem and clapped again, this time with his hands right next to Serandite's head.

At the sound, Serandite jumped awake with a startled “hm?” and met Moissanite’s eyes, blinking rapidly.

“Ahem,” Moissanite cleared his throat. “The point of the assembly is for us to all be present, Serandite.”

Serandite squinted at him like he barely registered anything the white gem said. “Sorry.” He mumbled with a yawn. “You’ve got my attention now.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it.” Moissanite said flatly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You know what I would appreciate?" Bloodstone suddenly cut in. "If you didn’t wake us up every day to do this stupid, useless meeting!” His tone was so scathing that it made Moissanite’s inclusions boil with rage.

“Oh, don’t start it!” Moissanite snapped and whipped around to face the black gem. “It's important and it only takes a few minutes of your time.”

Bloodstone crossed his arms and continued to scowl at him. The young black gem had a fiery temper that could rival the sun and he was always challenging Moissanite's authority every chance he got.

The fights between them had even gotten physical before, forcing Sensei to come in and break them up.

Moissanite had hoped that pairing the obnoxious rulebreaker with the much calmer Serandite would help quell his temper, but the orange gem had a nasty habit of staying up so late into the night that he was always too tired to do anything but stand there half-sleep the next morning. So it resulted in Serandite just tiredly going along with anything Bloodstone said and barely ever trying to reason with him.

“A few minutes? It takes like half an hour for you just to get done with your dumbass battle plans!” Bloodstone continued. “Would it kill you to just skip to the part where you say ‘Okay, Bloodstone, go outside so none of us have to see your face today!’”

“Bloodstone, enough.” Moissanite hissed. He stared down the other gem, who continued to ignore his warning in favor of running his mouth.

“I’m just saying, we all know how it’s going to end. So why bother drilling us over and over?”

“The weather changes,” Mordenite pointed out. He was examining his nails again, only looking up from time to time to show he was actually paying attention. “So do our roles for the day.”

“But mine never does!” Bloodstone growled. “It's always the same ol' patrol this, go check out that. So why the hell should any of this matter to me?”

Serandite and Ruby said nothing during this. The former looked annoyed through half-lidded eyes while the latter kept his gaze on the floor, clearly upset by his siblings’ squabbling.

They had this stupid fight nearly every day. All because Bloodstone never appreciated what Moissanite was doing for him.

All because he never saw how hard Moissanite was trying.

It was infuriating. 

The white gem breathed in and out slowly, trying to keep his temper from exploding. It wasn’t working. Not with Bloodstone's horrible, beady red eyes staring him down.

“Fine,” Moissanite spat. “If all you’re going to do is disrupt the meeting, then you can leave. Go make yourself useful for once and patrol the west side. Dismissed.”

Bloodstone looked taken aback as if he wasn't expecting the white gem to actually retaliate. “But-”

“Dismissed.” Moissanite repeated coldly.

Hurt flashed briefly in Bloodstone’s eyes before he growled again and stormed off, heading for the west exit of the school. With the black gem gone, Moissanite could finally relax. He breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to face the other gems.  They were all looking at him with concern, even Serandite, who was sitting up and looking wide awake for once.

“Um, shouldn't I go with him?" Serandite asked.

Moissanite winced, realizing with a pang of guilt that in his fury, he had sent the black gem out all by himself.

All alone. The one thing Sensei always told him not to do.

What was he thinking?

He was supposed to protect his siblings. No matter how angry they made him.

It's about them. Not him.

“Yes, sorry," He said to the orange gem. "You’ll be with Bloodstone on the west side.”

“No surprises with you.” Serandite yawned again and slid off his chair, heading in the same direction as Bloodstone with slow, tired steps. Before he could leave the hall, he turned back with his mouth open, no doubt to ask a certain question that Moissanite had already answered many times before.

“No, I’m not moving you to night patrols. What you can do instead is actually get some sleep tonight.” He said.

“Ugggh, why not?” Serandite groaned, his whole body slumping as he did. “I like patrolling at night.”

“You and I both know that Lunarians don’t attack at night. Sensei said as much,” Moissanite said, feeling just as tired as the orange gem by now. “If you’re out there all night, you won’t get enough sunlight, and then you’ll be useless during the day when we need you most. So the answer is still no.”

“But it’s so hot…” Serandite grumbled and headed outside. 

Moissanite just shook his head in annoyance. He would never answer that gem’s weird fascination with staying out of the sun.

Maybe I could talk Sensei into moving him to winter duty when we have enough gems to spare. He mused to himself.

Now Moissanite was left with only two gems at the table. It was a pitiful start to the meeting, but at least these two were the most agreeable out of the bunch.

Well, Mordenite was anyway. Ruby could be…difficult.

Moissanite cleared his throat again and approached the table, gesturing for the other two gems to pay attention. He gathered up the wooden pieces used for the war plans and started placing them neatly across the table.

Something in this meeting is going to go right.

He was just about to begin his weather report when Mordenite spoke up, cutting him off. “You know, he has a point. Why do we need weather updates?” The blue and white gem asked while fiddling with one of the wooden pieces. “Can’t you just assign us our roles and be on our way?”

“Because-” Moissanite snatched the piece from his sibling's hands. “-cloud cover is the deciding factor on how likely it is for Lunarians to show up.”

“Can we at least skip the battle plans then? We already know them all by heart.”

Moissanite placed the piece neatly back in its spot and thought for a moment. They had indeed gone over these plans every single day, and the Lunarians had never even shown up. Not once in all the time that Moissanite has been alive.

But Sensei always warned him that they could. He always told the story of how the Lunarians had taken all of his old friends away. It was drilled into his head that Moissanite was not supposed to let that happen to any of his siblings. No matter what.

“I suppose we could start doing it every other day instead.” He sighed, relenting.

“It’s a start I guess.” Mordenite snorted, but quickly put on an unconvincing smile when the white gem frowned at him. 

“Perhaps if you were more polite, I’d make it every two days instead.” Moissanite said, his eyebrow twitching.

Mordenite rolled his eyes in response but thankfully didn’t say anything else.

Moissanite appreciated having someone around who didn't try to fight him about everything. Mordenite really didn't care about what he had to do as long as he was allowed to look beautiful while doing it. The closest he ever got to challenging Moissanite was by grooming his hair daily, so it was shiny enough to rival that of the white gem.

Not that Moissanite cared. He had more important things to do than look pretty.

Speaking of important things.

“Mordenite, Ruby, you two will be patrolling together today on the east side.” He said, placing down two of the pieces on the map, indicating their positions. “It’s going to be clear skies all day so I need two teams out.”

Mordenite simply nodded in response, but Ruby shot up out of his chair, looking upset.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

“Huh, why with him again? Why can’t I patrol with you this time?” The red gem asked.

“Ruby, what does it matter?”

“Well I just,” Ruby fidgeted nervously. “I always go patrolling with him. I miss going out with you. We never do anything together anymore because we’re always too busy.”

That managed to hit Moissanite in the heart. Just a bit. It was tempting to go patrolling like they used to. They used to go out all the time, just the two of them, racing in the fields and picking flowers. A long time ago, back when they were young, dumb, and without any responsibilities.

Before Moissanite was told by Sensei that he would be president of the school.

“I know, Ruby, but I can’t, sorry. I’m president now,” Moissanite explained. "and the president always stays at the school unless called for."

Ruby huffed. “But why? How is sitting around the school all day scrutinizing every speck of dust more important than patrolling?”

Mordenite stifled a laugh in the back, much to Moissanite’s annoyance.

“It's more than that, Ruby!” He said. “I take care of the school when Sensei isn’t around.” Which is often.

“But wouldn’t it make more sense to leave Mordenite behind? He’s the doctor!”

“Wow, good to know I’m wanted,” Mordenite commented, almost to himself.

“I’m a doctor too, Ruby,” Moissanite said. “I’ve been so long before Morde was even born. You know that, or did you never notice because you were too busy playing around?” 

“Hey! Don’t be mean!” Ruby stamped his foot.

“I’m not being mean. You're being unreasonable! Would it kill you to take my job seriously for once?”

“But I hate it! You used to be fun! Now all you do is boss us around and make us work all day!” Ruby whined. "It's not fair!"

Moissanite changed his mind. It wasn't Bloodstone who angered him the most.

It was definitely Ruby and his childish complaining.

“You think I like doing this? Do you think I like dealing with you every day? No! ” Moissanite snapped at him.“But I don't have a choice! So how about you do me a favor and actually act your age for once in your life!"

“What is going on here?”

Silence instantly fell over the room as the gems turned their attention to the new voice. It was Sensei, standing in the hallway, looking like he had just woken up and wasn't at all pleased about it.

“Uh oh, busted.” Mordenite whispered. Moissanite shot him a glare to shut him up.

“Sensei…” Ruby sniffled loudly and ran over to the older gem, practically throwing himself into a hug. It made Moissanite’s eyes roll so hard they threatened to fall out of their sockets.

Every single time they argued, Ruby would go running to Sensei afterward and complain to him about how unfair life is and how mean Moissanite was. He would only get lightly scolded (if at all) and then nothing would change. Because no matter how hard he tried, Ruby was always too immature to understand why he did the things he did.

“Moi is being unfair!” Ruby said, tugging on the sleeve of Sensei’s robe.

“I am not!” Moissanite cried. "Sensei, please, he's the one that's being unfair! He never does a single thing I ask!"

“That’s not true! I do everything you ask! And it’s not like I asked for much, I just wanted to be partners with you today! I’m partnered with Morde all the time and I'm tired of it! Uh, no offense, Morde.” The red gem shot him an apologetic look.

“None taken,” Morde said with another shrug. “You have a point actually."

"I do?" Ruby's voice was hopeful.  

"Yeah, you know what, we should be able to choose our partners! For example, I choose to go patrolling with Moissanite. Then neither of us have to deal with your obnoxious whining!”

Moissanite couldn’t help but secretly agree with that.

It was a terrible idea, actually, leaving ditzy Ruby behind of all gems to run the school, but the red gem was getting on Moissanite’s nerves so much that it didn’t really matter to him at the moment.

The gems continued to argue among themselves, and Sensei was left looking quite distressed. His eye darted between each one of them, looking as if he didn’t know where to start or who to side with. Moissanite wasn't sure if he should feel bad or not. On the one hand, this was supposed to be his job. He was supposed to be able to handle all of this on his own.

But on the other hand, it was Sensei's fault that his siblings were all impossible to handle.

“Alright!” Sensei said finally, silencing the room again. He took Ruby’s hand in his own and leaned down to be at eye level with the young gem.

“Ruby, you need to stop arguing with Moi. He is in charge when I'm not around and that means he has to stay here and look after the school.” He said. "No exceptions."

“But why? You're not asleep all the time, can't you do it sometimes?" came the innocent reply.

Sensei hesitated for a moment. There was a strange look in his eyes that Moissanite couldn't interpret. “I just need him to be here, alright? Please listen, for me?”

Ruby pouted for a moment, before muttering a reluctant “Okay, but can you please tell him to not be so bossy?"

"I'll talk to him." Sensei promised.

Moissanite stiffened. Talk to HIM? Him ? What did he do? Ruby was the one who needed to be talked to!

He always hated this. How Sensei babied Ruby and treated him like he could do no wrong. Always letting him get off easy at Moissanite’s expense. It was no wonder the red gem was so immature despite being the second eldest. If only Moissanite was sensei! Then he’d make sure the other gems were properly punished for their unruly behavior! But…did he really want to be sensei? He never even wanted to be president in the first place. 

“Now, Mordenite, Ruby, be good and go patrol the…um,” Sensei looked expectantly at Moissanite.

“East side.” Moissanite said with a sigh, grateful that Sensei was at least doing something .

“East side.” Sensei finished. “I’ll talk with you two later. Moi, come with me, please.”

Moissanite inhaled sharply, anxiety bubbling in his chest. He was going to seriously lose his mind if he got punished for this. He walked over to Sensei’s side, passing by the other two gems as they headed for the east exit.

“I didn’t want to patrol with you anyway.” Ruby muttered to him as he walked by.

“Oh, grow up.” Moissanite hissed, quiet enough so Sensei wouldn’t hear. Ruby stuck his tongue out and then took off after Mordenite, leaving the white gem fuming.

The nerve of that gem.

Sensei gently put his hand on Moissanite’s shoulder and led him out to the main hall.

“Where are we going? Can’t we discuss this here?” Moissanite asked the older gem, wondering what could be so important that they'd have to go across the school to talk about it. "You're not seriously going to lecture me about being nice, are you?"

“No, nothing like that. We're going to the infirmary,” Sensei said quietly. “You’re cracking.”

Moissanite nearly tripped over his own feet. His hands flew up to his face and, to his horror, he found that Sensei was right. A large crack had split right down the middle of his face. He pulled a small piece from it. It glittered at him maliciously in the light.

How long had this been there?

Had he really…?

When…how?

Why did no one say anything?

Moissanite felt himself starting to tremble uncontrollably as they reached the infirmary.

No, no no. I’m not supposed to break.

He sat down on the operating table while Sensei began searching the shelves for the glue and powder containers.

Was Sensei going to be mad at him for this? Had he failed?

“I-I’m sorry.” He finally choked out.

To his surprise, Sensei didn’t look the least bit angry. Instead, the older gem nearly dropped the container of glue he was retrieving in shock.

“What do you-don’t be sorry!” He cried, placing the glue down and wrapping his arms around Moissanite in a tight hug. “It’s alright, Moi. We all crack sometimes.” He whispered.

“But I’m not supposed to!” Moissanite clung tightly to him. "I'm not supposed to…"

“All gems crack. It’s normal.” Sensei repeated, his voice firm. He released the white gem and started gently rubbing away the powder on Moissanite’s face, squinting as light from the exposed white surface hit his eye. He dipped a thin brush in some of the glue and started spreading a light coat across the crack, then he took the small piece from Moissanite's hand and reapplied it to his face.

Moissanite sniffed, still feeling awful.

"So," Sensei began. "Tell me what's going on with you and the others. I see you fighting with them all the time now and I’m starting to get really concerned."

"It's because they're insufferable!" Moissanite blurted out. "They never want to attend the meetings anymore and they never want to do the work I give them. It's infuriating!"

And you're only making it worse by not doing anything. Is what Moissanite wanted to say but he held his tongue. "Especially Bloodstone, ugh, if only I could smash his stupid, smug face."

"No smashing anyone." Phos said sternly. He finished with the glue and reached for the large powder brush instead.

"I know. But maybe it would knock some sense into him for once! I mean, how do you expect me to keep him safe if he won’t listen to me?" Moissanite brought up his legs and rested his head on his knees. "I just don’t know what to do with them, Sensei.” 

Sensei had taught him everything he needed to know about being a leader, but what good was that information if the other gems didn’t listen? It made him feel utterly incompetent. He was told that he was perfect, that no one else could do his job, but was it even true?

“Maybe I wasn't cut out to be president." He sighed.

"That’s not true. You’re perfect for it." Sensei said. "You’re my little diamond, I've known you’d be a good leader since you were born."

There it was again. The same words he's heard all his life. They weren't at all comforting anymore.

"But what if you're wrong?" Moissanite asked, his voice shaky. And what if I don't want to do this?

"I’m not wrong. You're doing just fine. It's in your nature, after all." Sensei insisted as if he had no doubts at all. He dipped the brush in powder in a rather clumsy manner, sending it flying everywhere.

His nature? What nature? Sure he liked things to be calm and orderly ever since he was young, but that wasn't enough to be a leader. Not that it mattered, because how could Moissanite tell Sensei that? How could he? When Sensei looked at him with such admiration?

"Well, can you at least tell Ruby to get off my back?" He asked.

"Hey, he'll get over it eventually. Ruby's just been lonely for most of his life and you were his first friend. You can’t blame him for clinging onto you." Sensei said. "Things will change when more gems are born."

"But I can’t wait that long! He’s getting on my nerves now."

Sensei gave Moissanite an exasperated look and dabbed his face with the powder brush, silencing the white gem with a coughing fit.

"Listen, I know he can be annoying,” He said. “But you have to understand that Ruby's had a rough youth because of me. You shouldn't be too hard on him. He deserves some sympathy." 

And where's the sympathy for my rough youth? Moissanite thought bitterly. He gingerly felt his newly powdered face for the crack. It was gone.  

Sensei placed the brush down and sighed. "But alright. I can see you’re upset so, I'll tell you what. Tomorrow at the assembly, I'll sit everyone down and have a talk with them about listening to you, okay?"

Hearing this lifted Moissanite's spirits. "You will? Like, an actual, real serious talk? Not just waving them off? You’ll actually help me?"

"Hey," Sensei huffed, looking offended. "I've done my best. But yes, I'm going to settle this. I don't want to see you all fighting anymore."

He patted Moissanite on the head. "But I do hope that, someday, you'll be able to settle this on your own."

"How? I don't know how, Sensei. Not without you."

"Someday, you might not have a choice." Sensei said with a faraway look in his eyes. "I know you'll figure it out. You have to, for their sake. They need you, and so do I."

With that, Sensei quietly gathered up the medical supplies and placed them all neatly back onto the shelves. He then headed back inside the school, leaving Moissanite alone on the table.

Normally, after the assembly he'd be doing his morning rounds about the school. Checking up with the supplies, feeding the jellyfish and organizing the library. But today, he felt it was better to stay in the infirmary. He could already feel his face breaking again from pressure, spreading fine little cracks all throughout. He hugged his legs and buried his face in his arms, rocking himself slowly. Trying as hard as he could to calm himself.

What did he mean by that? That I might not have a choice? Does he mean I'll need to lead all by myself one day? I can't do that!

No, no, calm down, I can't break again. I WON’T break again.

The cracks slowed their spread.

After tomorrow, everything’s going to be alright. I can handle this. Don't panic. I’ll figure it out, just like he said.

Sensei needs me.

They slowed but did not stop.

...If only he could see that I need him too.

Chapter Text

“Sensei! Is that one gonna fight?”

“It’s too soon to say.”

Sensei stood across from a small green gem.

“But this one certainly has a kind heart.”

Phos jolted awake, squinting at the early morning light shining through the window.

That little green gem again. Who were they?

Phos couldn’t figure it out, but he had a feeling they were very important to him. He rubbed his eyes and wondered how much he had forgotten over the years. Normally he’d be annoyed at waking up so early, but today, it was to his benefit.

The morning assembly. Today, I will help Moissanite with the others.

Phos felt bad that the young white gem was struggling so much with his role as president of the school. He seemed to have every aspect under control except for the other gems themselves, and unfortunately for Phos, that was one aspect he was never good at either. Handling gems? More specifically their emotions? In a way that didn’t eventually end in a broken promise or a huge fight? Not exactly his forte.

“You will? Like, an actual, real serious talk? Not just waving them off? You’ll actually help me?”

Moissanite’s words had bothered him. Phos thought he had been doing a good job by mainly leaving things up to Moissanite. He figured the gems would do better without him as an active role in their lives. Turns out, that might’ve just made things worse! It was disappointing. Everything would be so much easier if they didn’t rely on him at all! He could just stay in the shadows, teaching the occasional new gem, and never have to worry about messing up anything.

But regardless, being Sensei was still his job right now, no matter how much he wished it wasn’t. He couldn’t hand off the role if Moissanite wasn’t ready.

All he had to do was help the white gem get the others under control. And if he couldn't, well, it could be a valuable opportunity for Moissanite to step in and learn how to himself.

Surely.

Hopefully.

Phos believed in Moissanite, and yet, despite that, there was this little nagging voice that told him something was wrong.

He dismissed the feeling for now.

Phos shook off the last of his sleepiness and headed through the school to the meeting hall. He intended to set up the planning table for Moissanite but found that it was still the same as yesterday. Untouched. Did Moissanite not return to clean up like he usually did?

Phos paused for a moment, unsure of what to do.

I guess I'll just assemble the gems right away then. He turned back and heard the distant sound of clacking heels. Moissanite was up.

They met up in the hallway. Moissanite, always an early riser, looked alert despite the hour. He blinked at Phos in surprise.

“Sensei-”

“I just woke up earlier than expected. Everything’s alright,” Phos reassured him. “I’ll wake the others so you can get everything ready.”

Moissanite nodded, a hopeful look in his eyes. “I will. Thank you.”

Phos continued down the hall and back up the stairs to the gems’ sleeping rooms. He remembered how he used to avoid this floor like the plague before Ruby was born. Now, it's home to his whole world.

“Everyone!” He called out. “It’s time for the morning assembly!”

A loud groan, no doubt from Bloodstone, followed by the sleepy murmurs of the other gems.

“You’re attending the meeting today, Sensei?” Mordenite asked with a yawn as he emerged from his room, his hair a complete mess. “Did Moissanite get fired or something?”

“I hope so.” came Bloodstone’s grumpy voice from his room.

“What? No!” Phos was taken aback by their immediate hostility towards their sibling. “Nobody’s been fired! Today’s meeting is just important, that's all! I have something I need to discuss with you all.”

“Oh.” Was all Mordenite said as he began smoothing out his hair.

Phos sighed. He loved them but they sure could drive him crazy sometimes.

“Sensei?” Ruby peeked his head out of his room. “What’s so important? Is everything alright?”

Phos didn’t want to answer truthfully. “It will be.” He promised the red gem.

“Oh, and make sure Serandite wakes up too!” He called again as he headed back down to the meeting hall and breathed in deeply. This was going to go as smoothly as possible. It has to.

Of course, if something “has to” doesn’t always mean it will.

Phos knew things were bad but he didn’t know they were this bad.

The young gems were already at each other’s throats and the meeting hadn’t even properly started. Bloodstone was arguing with Moissanite while Mordenite cut in with snarky quips every once in a while, which only worsened their moods. Ruby was hiding under Phos’ robe and Serandite…

Okay, Serandite was just asleep as always. Being a night owl came in handy if you wanted to avoid your siblings’ squabbles.

“Is it always this bad?” Phos quietly asked the cowering red gem by his side.

“Yeah,” Ruby whispered back. “You’re just usually asleep when it happens.”

Oh. Phos winced with a pang of guilt. Sure, he had woken up to them arguing yesterday, but he assumed it was just a bad day. Why had nobody told him about this until now? Ruby had come and complained to him before, but it was usually about his personal relationship with Moissanite, not the group as a whole.

Just how much had the white gem been keeping from him?

And how exactly was he going to dissolve this?

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he noticed the sound of arguing had died down and all the gems were staring expectantly at him. Moissanite had managed to cut the argument short for now, but Phos could tell by Bloodstone’s intense expression that it would surely resume if he didn’t say something now.

Phos gently shooed Ruby back over to the others and cleared his throat. It was unnerving, having a bunch of other gems rely on him like this again. The last time it happened, he led them to the moon.

And then straight to their respective shatterings.

Courage. He reminded himself. Just a little more. Then it's all over.

“Alright, now that you’ve all settled down,” Phos tried his best to make his voice sound big and important like his own Sensei’s had been. “It’s come to my attention that none of you have been fair to Moissanite as of late.”

“Not fair? Us? ” Bloodstone hissed.

“Quiet.” Moissanite hissed back at him.

Phos fixed them both with a small glare before continuing. “You know that everything he does is for your safety. Even if it doesn’t seem fair or kind. It’s what he has to do to make sure we’re all safe.”

"Remind me again, what are we supposed to be safe from? Lunarians?" Bloodstone rolled his eyes at Phos. “Like that’s ever been a real problem for us.”

"They could be a real problem. Any time they’d like." Phos said.

"Oh, really? I don't know if you've been keeping count but it’s been hundreds of years, and I don’t think they care to come down here anymore, do you?"

"Bloodstone, please don’t talk back," Phos sighed, already starting to lose his cool demeanor. "Look, I used to go years without an attack too, but we always stayed prepared just in case. This is how things were done in my time."

"But this ISN'T your time!” Bloodstone shot back. “It's our time, and I just want to do something meaningful with it. Something that isn’t this useless job! It's useless and so am I!”

Phos almost told the young gem to back down again but faltered at those last words. Something about that plea was eerily familiar. It tugged at his heart immediately.

“Whatever. Forget it.” Bloodstone said quietly and avoided his gaze. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

“N-no, it does!” Phos blurted out, getting Bloodstone's attention back. “And you’re not useless. We all feel much safer thanks to you!”

The black gem didn’t look the slightest bit convinced.

Phos practically deflated. Without the Lunarians present to prove his point, it was hopeless to try and convince Bloodstone to believe him. Just like poor Cinnabar. No Lunarians were ever found at night. It had made him feel so unwanted that he wanted to go to the moon.

Would Bloodstone want to go too?

That thought was rejected immediately in favor of a burning desire to let Bloodstone do whatever he wanted right now regardless of circumstance. Anything that didn’t involve curb stomping his siblings that is.

“But…all things said, what kind of job would you like?” Phos asked him.

Bloodstone’s usually intense expression suddenly went soft. “I..I don’t know! What is there for me to even do?”

Phos thought for a moment. He couldn’t believe he was about to say these words again.

“I could...try and find you a fun job?” He said. “Something only you can do.”

There was a spark in Bloodstone’s eyes, only for it to be smothered the second Moissanite spoke up again.

“You can’t be serious, Sensei! We need him on patrol!”

“So, you could try rotating the roles?” Phos suggested meekly. His head was starting to hurt from trying to settle this.

“As if,” Moissanite said. “Everyone has their place. I can’t afford to put Morde or Ruby on permanent patrol, what if we need them for their jobs here? Who would I replace them with?”

“Like hell I’m playing doctor,” Bloodstone said.

“Exactly my point,” Moissanite said with a sigh. “And Ruby is far too incompetent to be trusted on patrol full-time.” He muttered that last bit but it did not go unheard by the red gem.

“Would you please stop insulting me?” Ruby asked, sounding defeated. “You haven’t even given me a chance.”

“Hey, stop,” Phos cut in, hoping to keep them from starting another fight. “Moi, I can see you’ve got everything sorted out. This is what I trusted you for, but it’s not working. We need to figure something else out before you all tear each other apart!”

“I’d like that. I miss when we were all happy.” Ruby whispered to himself.

“Sensei, you’re not helping,” Moissanite practically growled. He rarely ever raised his voice at Phos. “I'm only doing exactly what you want me to, and what are you doing in return? Just letting everyone get away with disobeying me again! This isn't what I wanted you here for!”

Moissanite glanced at Ruby. “And I don't want them to resent me more.”

“I’m not! I’m-” Phos stopped mid-yell and mentally smacked himself for losing composure. He felt both offended, and deeply upset. Making it worse? Worse? He was just trying to help!

...

Oh, of course, he was making it worse. Why did he expect anything less?

Phos was utterly torn on what to do. Bloodstone needed him but so did Moissanite, and they both looked so unhappy. For a moment, he was nearly ready to agree with Bloodstone that patrols weren’t needed. He could cancel them all together and nobody could argue with him. Sure, Moissanite would, but as long as Phos gave it the complete okay, he would let it slide.

But the fear of losing the gems held him back as it always did.

What if he lost one of them thanks to this? What if he was asleep when it happened and he never found out? What if the others blamed Bloodstone for it? Or blamed poor little Ruby? He messed up a lot of things and made a lot of the same mistakes, but that was one thing that was never allowed to happen again.

He looked at Moissanite. The white gem was still glaring at him, waiting for him to actually do something.

Moissanite had to face the other gems every day and listen to their complaints, yet he still stayed strong in his resolve. Enforcing the rules and keeping everyone in line, and here Phos was almost ruining it over some imaginary scenario of Bloodstone leaving for the moon.

Some leader he was.

Moissanite was undeniably right, and as much as it hurt right now, Phos was going to have to take his side on the matter.

Phos thought for a moment longer before addressing the gems again. He needed a plan that they could all agree on for the time being, something that would keep them happy. Then, he remembered something he said to Moissanite the other day. About having more gems around.

“Okay, I think-I mean I have an idea. We’ll keep everything the way it is, but once we get a lot of new gems around here we can start changing things up! We can rotate roles freely without worrying about anyone missing. How does that sound?”

“WAIT FOR NEW GEMS?” Bloodstone’s yell immediately dashed any hope Phos had that this was a good idea. “Do you know how long that will take? I'll lose my mind long before then!”

“I could get behind this,” Moissanite said. He relaxed his stiff shoulders and wore a thoughtful expression. “With enough gems I wouldn't have to worry about someone not being suited to their role. I could make this work!”

“Oh, of course, you could.”

Phos found himself, once again, trying to distract them all from starting a fight. “Listen, it’s all I can think of right now. I’m sorry. If Moissanite agrees then it’s what we’ll do. We’ll just have to wait.”

“What, is Moissanite our sensei now? Maybe if you actually looked after the school instead of leaving everything up to him, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!”

“Bloodstone!” Moissanite lightly smacked the offending gem in the arm, resulting in a loud clink. “Leave him out of this, we’re having this conversation right now because of you.”

“Oh, SORRY, mister do-no-wrong!”

Even though Bloodstone was the one hit, it was Phos who flinched. The black gem had a point about him. “I'm sorry.” Was all Phos could say. “I know my..flaws are making it harder for you all right now.”

“I’ll say-”

“It’s not a problem, Sensei.” Moissanite cut Bloodstone off, smiling at Phos, but the older gem could see a thin crack forming on his face. He was definitely lying.

Phos felt like tearing his alloy off and screaming. What was he doing? He was supposed to be helping right now, taking the pressure off Moissanite's shoulders for once. Instead, all he had done this entire meeting was stress the white gem out more.

“Listen,” Phos tried to put on his important-sounding voice again. “For now, we will be making no changes. You will listen to Moissanite and respect his orders. We’ll figure out something better once we have more hands available, but for now, I just want you all to be kind to each other and stop fighting! Please!”

Bloodstone narrowed his eyes at Moissanite as more tension filled the room.

“Ugh, finally!” Mordenite exclaimed suddenly and Phos jumped at the sound. He had almost forgotten the other gem was even there.

“Now we can stop sitting around and listening to these two whine about everything. See, Moissanite? Sensei IS helping.”

“Oh, shut up, puffball. Nobody asked you.” Bloodstone huffed, crossing his arms.

“Puffball, huh? That’s the best insult you’ve got?” Morde seemed unaffected but still placed a self-conscious hand on his fluffy white hair.

“Stop it, you two!”

Phos groaned. They were back to fighting again. Try as he might, there was really nothing he could do about it right now.

Solving Bloodstone’s problem meant upsetting Moissanite, and solving Moissanite's problem meant upsetting Bloodstone, which in the end, didn't actually solve Moissanite's problem at all! Phos was trying so hard but it was simply impossible to please everyone at once. He almost wished they could behave more like the old gems instead. They were terrible but he didn’t remember them fighting with each other like this!

Then again, they never really had any time to fight. They were just grateful to be alive at all.

“The old ones only started fighting when you intervened in their lives. Interesting, isn’t it?” That nasty Cairngorm-like voice whispered in his head. He tried to ignore it.

If only he could just call off the patrols! But he was so, so afraid it would end in someone getting hurt.

“Sensei, please?” Ruby broke through his thoughts, tugging at his sleeve. “Please just let Bloodstone do something else. I don’t want them to fight anymore.”

“If Moissanite says we can't, then that's how things have to be,” Phos said. “He knows best.”

“But YOU’RE our sensei! Why do you listen to him? He should listen to you!”

“He is listening to me! I told him to protect you all!"

“I know you did and I hate it.” Ruby let go of Phos’ sleeve and hugged himself tight. “It’s the worst thing you’ve ever done. Why’d you have to go and ruin him like that?”

“Wh-hey! I didn’t ruin him!” Phos cried. “I made him the best he could be! So you could go outside the school and be safe from danger. Isn't that what you wanted? Isn’t that what you pestered me for, for years?”

“Yes I did but…” Ruby’s voice was shaking. “More than that I wanted a friend! A friend that loved me and could always be there for me! Not an uptight jerk that can’t stand me anymore!”

Said “uptight jerk” was quick to respond. “I can’t stand you because you never give me credit for anything I do for you!”

Phos looked over at Moissanite, who was between Morde and Bloodstone, holding the two gems apart at arm's length with his hands firmly on their chests. The thin crack from before was much worse.

“You’re making it woooorse.” The voice hissed at Phos again. He was too busy internally freaking out to tell it to shut up.

“Credit for what? Ruining our lives? Making us miserable? Because Sensei decided you were better off a control freak?” Ruby spat. “I can’t stand you either!”

“He’s NOT a control freak” Phos suddenly snapped at the red gem. All the yelling was getting to him. Moissanite’s stress was getting to him. Their judgment of his choices was getting to him.

“Then what is he supposed to be? We have you! We don’t need him!”

Phos had never lost his temper at the gems since that day Ruby snuck out of school. It had hurt his heart too much to do it again. But between the nagging that was grating his ears, and the sheer ignorance in the face of what he was trying to do, that all went out the window.

He just wanted someone to listen to him. And that only seemed to happen when he was loud.

“You DO need him because he's better than me, alright? I’m not cut out to be your sensei!” Phos yelled, startling the younger gems. “I never wanted to do this but I had no choice! So I decided, hey, Moissanite is a diamond and diamonds are perfect. Diamonds never mess up like me. He'd be a far better leader then I ever could, because all I’ve ever been my whole life is a three-and-a-half nobody that never should’ve been a leader in the FIRST PLACE!”

The whole room went silent. All pairs of wide eyes were on Phos, who towered above them with his bristling alloy, breathing heavily in anger. Moissanite’s arms slumped down in silent shock and the two gems he was holding backed away from each other without another word.

Seeing them like this, Phos quickly forced his alloy to calm down and return to its place.

“So, does that mean you never wanted us around?” Came Serandite’s sad, sleepy voice.

Those words cut straight through Phos’ heart like swords. "N-no, that's not what I meant at all! I just-"

He quickly looked to Moissanite for support, but even he, who had always backed Phos up in moments like these, looked just as deeply upset as the others.

Oh, why did he have to open his mouth.

That's not what I meant at all.

And now they think...

Phos held his head low in shame, unable to say anything more. Unable to look at their faces.

It was dear, sweet Ruby who tried to comfort him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think you're bad at your job!”

“You didn’t do anything.” That was only partially true. “I’ve thought about that for a long, long time. And you all agree with me that I'm terrible at this, don’t you?”

Phos numbly watched most of the gems slowly look at each other and then nod in agreement. Ruby, thankfully, didn’t seem to agree, while Moissanite kept eerily still, his eyes were on the floor.

Keeping his composure, even in the worse situations, as always.

Phos admired, and at times even envied, that little white gem. So perfect despite Phos' rocky teachings. Phos knew what he had to do. He had been hoping to give it a little more time before he did it, after all, Moissanite still needed to improve his social skills. But after that horrible outburst? How could Phos ever face the gems as their leader again?

He was tired of putting on a wise act when he had no wisdom. Tired of making things worse when he only wanted to help. Tired of letting down the few gems left who needed him.

He wanted out. Now.

“Since you all agree,” Phos swallowed hard as he spoke. “Then I think it’s time I stepped down. Right now.”

“What?” Ruby cried, glancing back and forth between Phos and the other gems with worry in his eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yes. I’ve been planning to do this since the day Moissanite was born. I should’ve done it much sooner, but I needed to make sure Moissanite was ready to take my place.” Phos gave the white gem what he hoped was his proudest-looking smile. It was also probably the most pained smile he's ever done.

He continued. “And however ready he may be, he’s certainly more ready than I am. Moissanite will take over my role as your leader, effective immediately, and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t do this sooner.”

More stunned silence greeted him as he finished his speech. More tension. Phos didn’t exactly expect a warm reception but...

“Oh, like that changes ANYTHING.” Of course, it was Bloodstone who immediately complained.

“It will!” Phos insisted. “I promise!”

“Like hell it will. He practically runs the joint as it is. All you're trying to do is run from your problems! But hey, guess you might as well step down, huh? Because you’re just as useless either way!”

Oh, that one hurt. Phos barely stopped himself from snapping again. He was about to tell the younger gem off in his calmest angry tone when a shaky voice interrupted him.

“You can’t be serious.”

To Phos’ dismay, Moissanite looked utterly devastated. His whole face was cracking. “I’m…I'm NOT a diamond, Sensei! I’m not some perfect thing you think I am. I can’t do this!”

“But you can do this! I know you can! There’s no other gem that can!” Phos tried desperately to keep both the white gem and himself calm. “You don’t need me at all. I’ve done nothing today but get in your way! I’m practically useless, hah...you heard Bloodstone, right?” His attempt at humor failed to lift the white gem’s spirits.

“But-but they hate me…” The white gem whispered, the cracks threatening to burst at any moment. “How can I lead them if they all...I'm not ready...I need you...”

Phos and the other gems watched in horror as Moissanite’s entire head crumbled apart, scattering the sparkling white pieces all across the floor.

“NO!” Ruby yelled out and ran over to his younger sibling, catching the broken body as it slumped to the floor.

All the gems began shouting in panic. Even Serandite was up, wide awake and kneeling by the fallen white gem, while Phos could only stand there, frozen in shock.

A memory of Cinnabar’s broken head. Crumbling to pieces. Held up like a twisted trophy by his alloy.

Not again.

I did it again.

He backed up slowly against one of the pillars, his eyes never leaving Moissanite’s broken body.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I assumed he would be okay. I thought he liked being a leader. Was I wrong? Did I not notice? How could I not notice?!

Bloodstone turned his attention from the broken pieces to Phos, looking furious. “What have you done?” He demanded. “This is all your fault!”

“I don't know.” Phos gasped. “I’m so sorry.”
He slid off the pillar and continued backing away into the hall.

“I’m so, so sorry.”

Phos couldn’t bear the sight of the broken white gem anymore. He turned around and fled. He started running and never stopped, not even when he heard the gems yell his name. Down the hall, out of the school, and across the field. He kept going. For once, his alloy felt light as a feather. It didn’t weigh him down or tire him, he continued to run without stopping, pain pushing him forward. He fled to the edge of the land and found himself standing on the familiar cliff side that had once belonged to Cinnabar. The strong ocean breeze whipped across his face as he slid to a stop.

He heard something behind him. He looked back and saw a dark shape in the distance, rapidly approaching. It was Bloodstone, chasing after him. Calling out for him.

He didn’t want to be found.

The adrenaline let him think quickly and he started clambering down the cliff, down to Cinnabar’s old cave. He crawled over to the farthest, darkest corner and huddled himself against the wall.

He never thought he’d have to hide in here again. But that was just a signature part of Phos’ life, wasn’t it? Repeating the same mistakes. Reliving the same life. It was all so horrible. He felt like a curse.

“Sensei!”

Phos heard Bloodstone call out for him from atop the cliff. Then nothing but the crashing of waves. He didn’t hear any footsteps leaving, but he was sure the black gem was gone. He didn’t move for a long while just to be sure. Phos heard calls from the black gem a few times throughout the day before he must've given up. Night fell and only the sound of waves could be heard for hours, so Phos let himself leave the cave.

He sat outside the entrance, feeling completely numb. His family, his reason for living, is gone. And the Lunarians hadn’t even done it. It was him. All him.

Again.

...

......

So what now?

It was the same question he had asked himself years ago before Ruby was born.

Phos sighed bitterly. What a life. More like an endless cycle of torment. He faced the cold, unforgiving waves. They couldn’t kill him then, they certainly can’t now.

But maybe he didn’t have to die.

Phos stretched out his alloy to touch the water. He felt the waves pull and tug at his alloy. Begging him to come down and join them. He couldn’t die, but he could hide. Disappear from the world into the sea. Phos may have messed up, horribly, but he had done some good things here and there. He found Ruby and kept him and the others safe. Sure, they were hurting now, but they’d learn to live without him. Everyone did.

They would adjust, but more importantly, they would survive.

That’s all Phos wanted. With that weight off his shoulders, he could finally rest, couldn’t he? Out there, alone, where the waves would blend together into one single, endless noise. Nothing would ever stand out. Nothing would ever wake him. Life would go on without him, as it always did.

He let out a hollow laugh.

Yeah.

Phos let the waves guide his alloy away from the cliff and out to sea. He had a sense of clarity. These very same waves had taken his legs. Kickstarted this whole thing. How poetic this would end up being his final resting place.

And this time no one will come looking for me.

Chapter Text

Being a Lunarian had its benefits. You were light as a feather, you couldn't break, and the cracks from your nerves didn't show on your face. 

If Antarc was still made out of mineral, he would've crumbled apart from the sheer amount of shaking he was doing. Nobody could tell at first glance, of course. He kept up appearances well. He wasn't about to let the group of gems behind him think he was nervous! He was the one leading this whole crazy operation, he had to look like a cool, confident leader who knew exactly what he was doing.

Even if he really didn't. But all these gems that were with him today? They were counting on him to stay strong and see this through. He couldn't let them down. It sure was terrifying though. Antarc was used to being relied on, sure, but in a way where nobody was even awake to see his efforts. Any time he stumbled or fell, he could get back up without a soul noticing. They would only know his success.

The only time someone had directly seen him fail was Phos and well, everyone knew how that ended.

Sigh. Just don't fail. And we'll be fine.

Cinnabar, who was standing next to him, noticed his trembling and offered him a hand to hold. Antarc took it but it didn't help his nerves much. Cinnabar was just as shaky as he was, with the added bonus of his hand being clammy. Still, Antarc held on tight.

They were waiting just outside a large, sleek-looking building. One of Enma's assistants said he would meet with them here. Antarc sent in a request about it just yesterday. It's shape looming over him made Antarc’s unbearable anxiety even worse. It shouldn't. It wasn't even that big of a building.

But still, why did everything have to be bigger than him?

He glanced back at the crowd of gems behind him. They were only missing Dian. Over twenty other gems were already here.

Familiar faces like Lapis and Ghost, as well as several newcomers like Thirty-Three, Padpa, and some gems that Antarc didn't know well but had been kind enough to volunteer anyway thanks to Benito convincing them. They were all here to offer support as Antarc proposed his plan to Enma.

“Operation: Reopen Earth Just One Last Time!”

Named so thoughtfully by Dian.

Antarc had it all planned out, with several steps to ensure it would be the most appealing idea possible to Enma. These steps include a low profile, landing far away from the school so the gems could approach Phos' in a way that wouldn't startle him. As well as a promise to not disturb Phos if he wasn't already awake.  Antarc was even willing to wait a few more years if Enma wanted more time.

Surely, the prince could agree to all this, right? No way Antarc and the others could possibly ruin whatever twisted thing he had planned for Phos.

How could he ruin it? Antarc just wanted to see him. Even if only for a second. 

"I'm here, sorry!"

Antarc breathed a sigh of relief. Dian had finally arrived. Over forty minutes later than the planned time, much to the white gem's annoyance. 

"What took you so long?" Goshe cried out, putting a voice to Antarc's frustrations. "Do you have any idea how boring sitting around waiting is?"

Okay, Antarc wouldn't have called it boring but he did wonder about that as well.

"Is everything alright?" He asked the other gem. "Goshe's right. You're terribly late." 

"I just had some important things to do, that's all!" Dian huffed at him. Antarc noticed he was wearing one of his concert outfits. A particular choice. 

"Hm. Did you manage to convince Rutile by the way?"

"It's still a no-go on Rutile. Or Welegato.” Dian admitted with a shrug. “They’re about the only gems that can resist my charm."

"I couldn't convince Rutile either," Padpa said. "He's not one to easily forgive. Phos or me for that matter. I figured he'd at least say yes to your cute face though."

"I am cute. How could he say no?" 

"It's alright." Antarc sighed. "We've got enough gems as it is. No need to push them further, it'll only make things worse in the long run."

"Are you sure we have enough? Cinnabar whispered, nudging Antarc's shoulder. Antarc realized he was still holding his hand.

"It'll have to be." He whispered back. He let go of Cinnabar and was grateful Dian had either not noticed or simply chose not to comment. The last thing he needed right now was the romance-obsessed gem starting a rumor that he was competing against Bort for Cinnabar.

"Leave it to us!" Dian exclaimed suddenly. "You have nothing to fear! Operation: Reopen Earth Just One Last Time is officially in full swing!"

"I did not agree to that name at all," Lapis muttered partly to himself from within the group.

"That's why nobody asked!"

"Okay, everyone," Antarc motioned for everyone to pay attention. "Let's not waste any more time. Remember to let me and Dian do the talking on the plan, but don't be afraid to voice your support when the time comes!"

The gems all cheered back at him. It warmed Antarc's heart to see them all together like this, backing him up. He hoped it would stay that way even after they had nothing more to fight for.

Fighting shouldn’t have to be the only thing that brings us together. I quite like having friends.

The only outlier to the smiling faces was Bort, who remained stone-faced the whole while, staring at Dian, who refused to even acknowledge he was there.

And speaking of fighting, I hope I can get those two back together without one.

Antarc felt another hand grab his own again and expected to see Cinnabar, but it was Ghost, who had moved through the crowd to reach Antarc’s side.

"Thank you for doing this, Antarc." He said with a soft smile.

"Of course," Antarc replied, squeezing his hand. "I should really be thanking you. Without your help, I don't think I would've gotten this far."

"It's the least I can do."

With that, the group was on the move. Quickly making their way through the long halls of the building. Enma was usually in the center room, which was reserved for important meetings, and he was often accompanied by Welegato and Sensei. It bothered Antarc to no end to see them together like that. After everything Enma did to Sensei, they had the nerve to act like old friends. But considering that Antarc was currently rallying behind a known hooligan like Phos, maybe it wasn’t such a weird thing after all.

Antarc was trembling even more by the time they reached the end of the hall. He had to focus on keeping his feet firmly planted on the floor for fear he’d stumble. He tried to distract himself from his nerves by focusing on the comical wheezing of Topaz, the poor gem was the last one to reach the end by a large margin.

The meeting room lay before them, but they all hesitated outside. Even Dian, ever eager and bold, was holding back with a nervous look. 

Enma just had that effect on people. 

Unless you were one of the few already in the room with him. Then you were most likely immune.

Inside the room was a single center table surrounded by large couches, and seated on them were, of course, Enma and Welegato, along with Sensei. A few Lunarian scientists were in the room as well, including Eighty-Four and Barbata, standing in front of a large screen against the single wall to the back of the room. Surrounding them were even more screens and various paperwork. Looks like it was a busy day for Enma.

The other walls of the room were home to large archways leading to the patio outside, which was quiet and empty.

Antarc saw that Euclase and Jade were also present for this meeting, no doubt because they were considered the unofficial leaders of the gems. He had been too nervous to ask either of them to help with the operation, and here they were, going to hear all about it anyway.

It was almost funny. 

"Wait here," Antarc whispered to the others. They all nodded in silent agreement, while Dian gave him some nervous finger guns for support. Antarc quietly walked into the room, taking a deep breath as he did. It seemed that Eighty-Four was right in the middle of an important presentation, so he stood to the side and waited to speak. No one had noticed him walk in yet.

“Regarding the Admirabilis on Earth, they are shrinking to adapt to the lack of food. We’ll need further investigation to confirm whether they have retained their intelligence.” Eight-Four addressed the others while pointing to the screen behind him, it displayed a large chart of information.

“It’s been impossible for any kind of large sea life to flourish, even with the ocean level rising steadily over the years” Barbata added.

“We think it’d be wise to gather up the remaining Admirabilis and bring them here. They could join the others and properly thrive, especially once the artificial sea project is complete.” Eighty-Four continued. “I know it’d be breaking the Earth lockdown rules a little bit, but the remaining species live far away from the land that we can avoid any contact with Phosphophyllite. I'm afraid if we don't, the Admirabilis won’t last much longer.”

“That’s a shame,” Euclase commented. “I always hoped we could return them all to the ocean once we’re gone. Is it really that bad?”

“It is. But thankfully we still have our plan to turn those who want it into Lunarians. The Admirabilis won't have to worry about life without us. Going forward we-”

The conversation faded from Antarc’s mind. All he could think about was Eighty-Four’s line about breaking the Earth lockdown. They were planning to return to Earth! For the Admirabilis, even! It was unusually kind of the Lunarians to consider such a thing. Maybe, just maybe, Antarc’s plan had more hope of success than he thought!

“Antarc?”

The former gem had been so wrapped up in his premature celebration that he hadn’t noticed that the whole room had gone silent and everyone was staring at him. Welegato’s stare was particularly piercing.

“Are you alright?” It was Sensei addressing him with concern.

“Uh, yeah.” Antarc wished he had Cinnabar’s hand to hold again, but the other gems were still lingering outside the room, waiting for his cue. “There’s something I need to discuss with you. We need to discuss it with you, actually.”

He leaned towards the doorway and motioned for the other gems to come forward. They all hesitated, whispering to each other, before venturing into the room. Antarc found it amusing when the scientists’ stares turned wide-eyed at the sheer amount of new people in the room with them.

“Um. Now?” Barbata in particular looked like he was having a hard time accepting this was happening. Antarc had to admit he felt a little guilty about interrupting their presentation. At least Eight-Four looked unbothered. He was excitedly waving to Thirty-Three, who shyly returned the wave.

Dian pushed through the crowd, making extra sure not to bump into Bort, and took position on Antarc’s right side, while Cinnabar stood firmly on his left as he had before. 

“Yes, now,” Antarc repeated.

Barbata looked to Enma for help, who merely regarded the crowd of gems with a slightly raised eyebrow. 

“I recall that you wanted to speak with me today." The prince said. “So go ahead.”

“But make it quick if you can! We still have so much information to go through.” Barbata added.

Welegato just tilted his head at the group in mild curiosity, but Antarc had a feeling that the princess already knew why everyone was here.

Alright, here goes nothing.

‘WE'RE GONNA GO TO EARTH TO SEE PHOS!” Goshe blurted out before Antarc could even breathe a word. "HE'S LONELY."

“Goshe! What did I say about leaving the speaking to myself?” Antarc cried. All the other gems immediately joined in on the scolding.

“What? You were taking too long!” Goshe protested. ”I thought this was urgent!”

“It is urgent. That’s why we’re trying to deal with it carefully.” Antarc growled at him through gritted teeth.

Barbata coughed awkwardly and the other scientists started muttering in hushed tones among themselves about the outburst. This was not how Antarc wanted the meeting to start.

“Ugh, I knew that’s what you guys were up to!” Welegato grumbled and flopped back on the couch.

“Of course, you know! I asked you about it!” Dian said. “And you said no!”

“I sure did.”

Before Antarc could wonder how to diffuse this particular situation, Enma thankfully did it for him. Albeit not at all how Antarc wanted him to.

“I’m afraid that’s impossible.” He said. “As you know, the earth is closed off. No one is permitted to go there.”

“But you were discussing going there just now! To retrieve the Admirabilis, right?" 

“And that idea hasn't exactly been approved, has it?” Enma said calmly. “And surely you understand the difference between the middle of the ocean and the land where Phos resides? One of these options does not put us at risk.”

“Wait,” Euclase suddenly spoke up. “I think we should let them go.”

Antarc was both surprised and beyond relieved to see Euclase take their side so quickly. Not that Euclase would've been hard to argue with, as he usually went along with whatever opinion he thought was best at the time, but it was nice anyway.

“Wow, Antarc gave you no credit but I knew you’d back us up!” Goshe said. 

Antarc wanted to scream, but he heard a thwack and figured one of the others, most likely Padpa, had thankfully smacked the young gem upside the head before he could say anything else.

Euclase still looked hurt. “I know I haven't exactly done much for Phos despite my position here, but leaving him behind never sat right with me. Regardless of the circumstance, ten thousand years is harsh. It’s always been my wish that we find some way to make contact.”

“Same here,” Jade said from his place beside Euclase.

“And we’ve made it clear to you both why we can’t do that,” Enma said. His tone never changed once, it was eerie. “We must prioritize stability and minimize anything that could interfere with the transfer process. You know what happened last time he saw all of you.”

Euclase had to be especially uncomfortable at the memory, but he still continued with his plea.

“And yet you allow newborn gems to stay with him! How is that any different?” 

Antarc jolted. He hadn't heard about any new gems on earth! He hadn't thought about that possibility at all until now but it made sense. Of course, there were new gems! They weren't going to stop being born just because everyone else left! 

Was Phos not alone after all? It was a comforting thought. But what wasn’t comforting was the idea of Phos in charge of newborn gems all the time. Antarc wanted more than ever to see what was happening on earth. Were they thriving? Was it a disaster? What if he needed help with them?

“We did. It was at Adamant’s request, and with his utmost insurance that it would not affect the process.” Enma replied.

Sensei joined the conversation. “I believe he needs those new gems in his life to truly flourish. Without them, he may never learn to let go of his pain. I'm afraid seeing us again will likely just remind him of it.” He turned to Antarc. “Remember what I said about Phos’ happiness? We cannot risk ruining it.”

“But-” Antarc faltered. There it was again. That question. Was he being selfish for wanting to be a part of Phos' happiness? Did Phos even need or want him to be there? Was this all just a pointless idea?

It couldn't be. Antarc knew how badly Cinnabar and the others wanted to see the green gem again. How many unspoken things they wanted to say to him. Phos may have new gems in his life, but surely he still missed the old ones? What if he wanted to see them again?  

They would never know until they asked, so unless Enma could prove to him right now that Phos was totally fine and had forgotten all about them, Antarc wasn’t going to back down.

“Look, with respect, your highness,” Antarc tried to keep the growing frustration out of his voice. “We know the risks, and we’ll do what we can to make sure nothing goes wrong. I know how important this is to you, trust me. Considering, I was shattered for it.”

Enma didn’t flinch. “Then it should be just as important to you as well. Without Phos, we will continue to live for eternity. It may not seem like much to you now, but it will in due time. Give it ten, fifteen thousand years and you will understand why I did what I did.”

“I understand perfectly why,” Antarc hissed. “But Phos is still a person, and you need to treat him like one.”

“W-what about the monitoring systems?” Euclase nervously cut in. “We could observe Phos from there, can’t we? I’m sure it would give everyone a little piece of mind just to see him.”

“Afraid not.” Barbata clicked his tongue. “We shut down most of the land’s monitoring systems as part of the lockdown. The ocean is the only thing we keep track of now, per the requests of our Admirabilis researchers. We even lost contact with Phos’ pearl eye years ago. Sorry.”

“C’mon, there’s gotta be something we can do!" Dian insisted. 

Barbata shook his head. “I'm sorry. Couldn't even reboot the systems if we tried.”

For once, the ever-loud Dian looked completely lost for words, and Antarc felt the same way. He just felt angry at this point.

“Ugh. Unbelievable!” With that, Dian turned and stormed out of the room.

“Dian, wait!” Antarc tried to call him back, but it was no use. The former diamond was gone. The other gems all looked at each other, and no doubt had the same thought in their minds: If Dian, the biggest supporter of the cause, had given up, then it was time for everyone else to give up too.

Antarc felt utterly defeated. But most of all he felt bad for Cinnabar, for Ghost, and for everyone who had just wanted to see their friend again. Euclase mouthed a silent apology to him from across the room, but it didn’t make him feel any better.

He felt Cinnabar’s hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled to the red gem. “Sensei was right all along.”

“I wish he hadn’t been.”

Everything slowly returned to normal. The scientists went back to discussing plans with Enma. A few of the other gems left the group, including Thirty-Three who went to join their twin. Only the first few gems that were asked to join remained, and it was mostly just to comfort Antarc. He wanted to be grateful for their presence, but more so, he wanted to return to his quiet apartment to wallow in his misery alone, like he usually did.

He was about to suggest that they all leave as well when he felt a rumbling under his feet. It was eerily familiar. Like hundreds of Lunarians were about to stampede his way.

Turns out Antarc’s familiar feeling was right, as a group of large Lunarians suddenly burst into the room through the archways, carrying with them equally large speakers. Antarc immediately recognized them as Dian’s bodyguards from the day they met up. After setting up the speakers in the room, they left as quickly as they had arrived. But that wasn't the end of it. Dozens of Lunarians of all sizes came pouring in around the room from the outside, filling every square inch of the patio. Some even squeezed themselves into the room itself, and several more were waiting down the hall behind Antarc. All the gems that had tried to leave earlier were now pinned firmly within the crowd.

Everyone looked equally as confused as Antarc felt. 

“What on earth-” Barbata looked around in panic at all the new faces. “E-excuse me, but we’re trying to have an important meeting here!”

"YOUR IMPORTANT MEETING IS NOTHING IN THE FACE OF ME!”

A sudden loud voice pierced everyone’s ears. It was booming from every speaker in the room. Antarc’s hands flew to cover his head and nearly everyone else did the same. He even saw Enma wincing at the noise.

Through one of the archways, Antarc caught sight of the source of the noise. It was Dian, standing on a makeshift stage on the patio outside, surrounded by his dutiful bodyguards and beyond that, hundreds more Lunarians. All were undoubtedly fans of his.

“WE HAVE AN IMPORTANT DISCUSSION OF OUR OWN, AND WE’RE NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU HEAR US OUT! ISN’T THAT RIGHT, DIAN NATION?”

As if it couldn’t get any louder, the thundering noise of cheering threatened to burst Antarc’s head. He realized that several of the Lunarians were carrying various signs with them that all said Phos’ name.

No way. Dian hadn’t given up at all. He had come back with a full-blown protest!

“So that’s why he was late,” Cinnabar was looking at the crowd in awe. Antarc could barely hear him through all the noise. “He was getting this together.”

Bort was one of the only gems not shielding his ears. He looked highly amused at the whole thing. Enma, however, was not amused in the slightest. “I gave you my final decision.” He warned. “I’m not changing my mind.”

“NOT EVEN IN THE FACE OF YOUR OWN PEOPLE? FOR SHAME!” 

The crowd cheered again. Dian was beyond bold, Antarc had to give him credit for that. The pop star’s words seemed to actually affect Enma a little, as he gazed at all the Lunarians that had shown up to oppose him in favor of Phos. That had to hurt.

“I will always do what’s best for you all.” He said, raising his voice to be heard through the noise. “Even in the face of your displeasure.”

Dian didn’t falter a bit. “THEN WE SHALL SING UNTIL YOU SIMPLY GIVE IN, WON’T WE DIAN NATION? LET. HIM. HEAR. YOU. SCREAM!”

Antarc appreciated everything Dian had done for him, but right now, he wanted to die. The sounds that blasted through the room were almost too much to bear. The cheering, the singing, everything felt like it was rattling Antarc’s very core. Dian belted out quite possibly the loudest covers of his own songs in existence. It rang loud and clear through the speakers and straight into the soul of every person in the room.

Barbata had pressed two couch pillows to his head with a look of agony. Welegato was shouting profanities at Dian, which went unheard through the noise. Even Euclase, though he looked rather proud of his fellow gems, had a pained smile. Enma was simply resting his head on his hand, eyes closed, ignoring the situation around him, but Antarc could see the way his eyebrow occasionally twitched.

It was hours before Dian’s voice finally petered out from the nonstop singing. His voice was hoarse and the only noise that came from the speakers for a while was aggressive coughing and wheezing. The crowd looked equally exhausted as their favorite star. Antarc and the other gems had taken to sitting on the floor, numb to the whole thing by now. The white gem was certain he couldn’t hear as well as he did before this whole protest began, even though that should be impossible.

But all in all, he still had to give Dian credit. If only Phos could see his dedication!

Dian tried to force out another set of lyrics but ended up dropping the mic onto the stage and doubling over hacking.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you shouldn’t push yourself like that, Dian!” Jade insisted, a little too loud.

“Wheeeeze,” Dian inhaled hoarsely. “Trust me, I’m feeling fine.”

“And I have a fucking migraine, thanks for asking!” Welegato mumbled from under a pile of couch pillows. Enma was sitting next to him with his face in his hands.

“Now that you’re quite finished. I’m going to ask you to leave.” The prince said and sat up with a long sigh.

“I’M NOT LEAVING! wheeze. I CAN KEEP GOING. JUST. wheeze. Give me thirty minutes.” Dian gasped between pained breaths. Antarc was starting to feel really bad for him.

“It’s not a choice. I’m having security escort you out.”

“And. wheeze. What if your security is on MY side?” Dian let out a strained laugh. "Aha!"

Sure enough, in the crowd were some of Enma’s official staff. Proudly displaying Dian's brand shirts and sheepish smiles.

“Then waste your time all you want. It still won’t change my mind.” Enma snapped. It startled Antarc to hear him actually showing emotion in his voice. “Earth is permanently closed off. There will be no contact until the end of ten thousand years. That is my final decision.”

Eighty-Four dropped the papers he’d been holding, looking distraught. “Wait-”

"Yes, that includes the plans for the Admirabilis. I’m sorry, Eight-Four. But I don’t want anyone getting any further ideas.”

Antarc felt a chill run down his back. Did he just doom the Earth Admirabilis into extinction? 

“UGHH.” Dian angrily kicked his mic, sending it flying across the patio and causing another ear-piercing noise to burst through the speakers. 

Barbata threw a pillow at one of them. “Can someone please remove these?” He cried. 

“I’ll help.” Thirty-Three offered quietly. He left Eighty-Four’s side to help the other scientists with shooing away the crowd. Eighty-Four picked up his dropped paperwork in silence. 

The crowd began to disperse, taking the speakers and the pieces of the makeshift stage with them, leaving Antarc with the same sinking feeling he had before. It didn’t work. Only now, his ears were ringing, Dian’s voice was gone and several cute snails were definitely going to die. Nothing had gone right today.

Nothing at all. One could argue that he made it all worse instead.

Would Phos have failed like this?

Dian returned to his side, still coughing. “Sorry, Antarc. I tried.” He wheezed.

“Don’t apologize. You were amazing.” Antarc said. “I’m just sorry for your voice.”

“Aw, it’s fine. I’ll recover. If anything you can blame Bort. This was. wheeze. His idea!”

“Bort?” Antarc shot a confused look at the pale black gem, who had a smirk on his face.

“I told him, ‘if anyone’s got the power to make a stand, it's you.’” Bort said, his smirk melting into a genuine smile. “You’ve always been so persuasive, but I don’t recall you being so loud.”

“And I don’t recall you being so soft!” Dian shot back, although it wasn’t meant to be mean at all. Dian was smiling as well, and Antarc couldn’t believe his eyes. 

Maybe, not everything today was a failure. 

All the gems began excitedly talking to Dian about the impromptu concert. Even Ghost, as disappointed as he must feel, looked happy to know someone cared so much about Phos. No matter what happened from here on out. All the gems were closer than they had been before, and surely, that was something to be happy about. Antarc cast one last look at the other Lunarians in the room. Several of the scientists were getting ready to leave. The meeting was over. Nobody looked Antarc's way except for Welegato. He was staring right at Antarc, holding a pillow in his arms. He looked angry, but also looked like he pitied them.

He felt Cinnabar’s hand on his shoulder again.

“C'mon.” Said the pale red gem. “Let’s go, before we make it any worse.”

“At least we tried, right?” Antarc wanted to apologize again, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. 

“Yeah,” Cinnabar replied with misty eyes. “You heard them. Phos will be fine. I just hope he remembers us when we finally do get to see him in the end, and I hope I can say something, anything at all.”

“Me too.”

Antarc was grateful that most of the gems were so wrapped up with Dian that they didn’t see the tears that appeared in his own eyes, and down his face, soaking into his shirt. Only Bort broke away from the group to walk by Antarc, and he didn’t say a word.

“Antarc.” Sensei was calling for him.

To be honest, Antarc had almost forgotten he was there. Sensei had stayed so quiet during all of this. It must’ve hurt to watch his children fight so hard for something they couldn’t have.

“I’ll talk to you later, Sensei.” He replied. It hurt more to be the one fighting.

Antarc let Cinnabar walk ahead with Bort, before trying to wipe some of his tears away. 

He had to stay strong, so if the others see him looking just fine, maybe they won’t be so upset either.

Maybe they could go back to never thinking about Phos.

Maybe, Antarc could do the same for once.

“WAIT!”

Antarc barely had time to react to the sudden outburst when something hit him hard and square between the shoulders, knocking the wind out of him. He stumbled forward, bumping into Bort who barely managed to keep them both from falling over. All the gems stopped in their tracks and gasped at the scene.

Antarc whipped around to see a single, dejected-looking pillow on the floor and the culprit, clear as day with his arm outstretched, was Princess Welegato.

“You have some nerve-”

“Sorry! I needed you to stop.” Welegato squeaked. He tried to look apologetic but Antarc could tell he was holding back a laugh.

“YOU HIT ME. WITH A PILLOW.” Antarc yelled and picked up the offending cushion, winding up for a throw of his own.

“Well, you ignored Sensei so you’d probably ignore me too, that's what I fig-HEY DON’T THROW THAT.” Welegato shrieked and held up his arms in defense. It didn’t help much, as Antarc threw the pillow hard enough to knock the princess back onto the couch on impact. 

Antarc was grateful that Welegato’s little guard dog wasn’t anywhere to be found right now. It had probably been scared off by all the noise earlier. 

And Enma, who was usually very protective of his wife, just watched the petty fight with a confused expression.

“I've been told they have personal beef,” Jade leaned over to whisper to him.

“Ah.”

Welegato spat out a feather and tossed the pillow to the floor. “Ack, listen, just don’t go anywhere! There’s something I wanted to say.”

“Whatever you want to say to me, say it!” Antarc snapped, crossing his arms.

“Not to you!” Welegato waved him off and turned to Enma instead. The princess wrapped his arms around the prince’s own in a tight hug. “Let them go, Enma.” He pleaded.

Antarc’s mouth fell open. “What?”

“What?” Enma parroted.

“To Earth! Just let them go.”

"You-but I thought you didn't like Phos!" Dian gasped. He ran up and grabbed Antarc by the shoulder, shaking him. “Welegato told me off when I tried to ask, didn't I tell you? Totally resisted my charm. Said some rude words too.”

"Just because I don't like the guy doesn't mean I can't feel sorry for him!” Welegato said defensively. His gaze lowered to the floor. “What happened to him was wrong, even I know that."

"You always gave off the impression that you knew but just..didn't care," Euclase said quietly. 

"Well, I acted like I didn't care because there was nothing I could do! But after seeing you all come here, stand up for him, and blast your shitty loud music, it got to me alright? I don't get what you see in this guy but like, I get it."

Antarc kept silent and let Welegato speak. He didn't dare interrupt in case it turned out he was dreaming. 

"I used to tell him he'd end up with no friends, but clearly, he did something right if you all care about him as much as you do." Welegato wore a small, fond smile. "I'll admit, maybe I was too harsh."

Enma looked like he wasn’t sure how to process this information. “You really feel that strongly about this?" 

"Of COURSE I feel that strongly!” Welegato let go of his arm and looked highly offended. “Do you think I, of all people, liked watching someone else have every aspect of their life controlled? Do you think I liked being a part of it without my knowledge? No!"

Enma actually looked guilty, his monotone voice even started to waver. "I never intended to harm you. It was only because of circumstance that you were involved. I did everything I could to make it up to you."

"I know and I forgave you already, silly. But how will you make it up to Phos?"

"..."

"Exactly. You don't have a plan for that. They do!" Welegato rolled his eyes and got up to join the other gems. Antarc just watched wide-eyed as the princess joined his side. He hoped his mouth wasn’t still hanging open.

Ghost, who stood nearby, looked pale.

"W-Welegato, hey um, I-look, I'm sor-"

"Not now, Ghost. You can save it for later, okay?" 

Ghost snapped his mouth shut, but a small smile crept its way onto his face. It was the first time he's spoken to Welegato in years.  

"I suppose I deserve it, but you sure are making this hard on me, you know that?" Enma said with a dejected sigh.

"I sure do!" 

They stared at each other for a long time. Prince and Princess at total odds. Antarc wasn't sure if he even saw Welegato blink once. Finally, Enma let out a small chuckle and broke the stare. “I can’t win with you, can I?”

“Nope!” Welegato was beaming at him.

Was Enma really giving in? Just like that? Right now, Antarc wanted to take the most expensive thing in the room and throw it on the floor. He was so mad that the Prince would resist them all so hard only to give in to the whims of his princess immediately. It made sense, but it was stupid.

Ultimately, Antarc didn't throw something on the floor, he was just grateful someone had gotten through to him all.

"Adamant, what is your opinion?" The prince asked Sensei. "I will not make any moves unless you are sure this will not set us back."

 Sensei had his eyes closed and was deep in thought. Antarc waited with bated breath for his answer.

"I think it will be fine.” He finally spoke. “This whole time, I believed that if Phos saw you all again, it would only cause a great deal of pain. Pain that he did not need. But now I see that keeping you apart from him is only hurting you as well."

"What are you saying?" Euclase asked.

"I care about his happiness, but I care about yours as well. All of yours. We should go forward with your Earth visit, as long as you only send one gem, so as to not overwhelm Phos". 

“Very well then,” Enma said.

Antarc's heart wanted to leap out of his chest. They got Enma's approval! They-

"ONLY ONE? Man, that's not fair. I wanted to go!" Goshe cried out. 

Antarc could've been mad about his victory celebration being cut short, but instead, he just rolled his eyes. He was getting used to the young gem’s outbursts by now.

All the gems began excitedly discussing the news with each other, even including Welegato in the celebration circle. Antarc noticed that he kept his distance from Ghost, but there wasn't any hostility between them. Just joy, in the moment. Dian ran over to embrace Antarc in a tight hug, and while usually, he'd be uncomfortable, he couldn't care right now. He hugged Dian back.

The rush of excitement returned to his chest. They had done it! They were going to earth! Well one of them was. 

"So, who's going?" He asked.

All the other gems seemed to have the answer already.

"It has to be you, right, Antarc?" 

"Of course! Phos missed Antarc like crazy."

“You did all the talking so honestly, I’d feel pretty bad if I went instead.”

“Why not me? Guys? Hello?”

Antarc could barely hear them over the pounding of his heart. They were going to choose him! He was going to see Phos again! But there was something…wrong, with this decision. Something holding him back from accepting it. Even though Antarc had wanted this exact outcome so very badly, he still felt like someone else deserved this more.

"I think Antarc would be the best choice as well," Sensei agreed. “Are you alright with this?”

"Hold on,” Antarc said, stopping the hype in its tracks. “I think-I think we should send Cinnabar instead." 

Stunned silence, and then Antarc got the exact mixed reaction he was expecting.

"Cinnabar? Are you crazy?

"That's a recipe for disaster"

“Oh, they’re totally going to kill each other."

"I guess that's fine but I still wanted to go! Why not me!"

Antarc looked to Cinnabar, who was visibly freaking out from the sudden attention. He clung to Bort's side, who remained the calmest one in the room as always. Between his stern looks and demeanor, he was the perfect shield for Cinnabar against all the negativity. But Antarc wasn't going to let Cinnabar hide from him entirely.

"Antarc," The former red gem stammered. "I-I can't! They’re right, it should be you!"

“Cinnabar, listen to me,” Antarc was firm in his decision. "You told me that you wanted a chance to say something to him. I'm giving you that chance now.”

"But-"

This time it was Antarc who offered his hand to the other gem. 

"But nothing. You need this." He assured Cinnabar. “Besides, at the end of the day, I don't have anything I need to say to Phos.”

It was a bit of a lie. Antarc didn't need to say anything to Phos, but he had a whole world's worth of words he wanted to say to Phos. He missed him dearly. But in the end, all he really needed was to know that Phos was okay. And he could hear it all from Cinnabar.

Cinnabar hesitated for a moment, then accepted his hand. He blinked away his tears and sniffed. “This is the second time you've had to talk me into going isn't it?”

"Yeah, but I'm used to it now," Antarc said playfully.

Cinnabar smiled at him.

“Go for it, Cinnie!” Dian still found it possible to cheer even with his hoarse voice. “You got this!”

“And remember, if anything bad happens I’ll break his knees,” Bort added.

“Bort! You wouldn't!" Dian gasped loudly and then doubled over coughing.

“Joke. It was a joke. Please don’t die.”

“Wheeze.”

Enma waited patiently for all the noise to die down. He then addressed them all with a clear voice. "You understand that if Phos reacts negatively and attacks Cinnabar, you'll lose your only chance at communicating with him?” 

Antarc gave Cinnabar one last encouraging smile and then turned to face the prince. "I understand."

“Then, by Adamant’s approval, I will allow Cinnabar to take a single ship to earth, but there is a catch. You will have to wait until this winter. We want to avoid any contact with the new gems if possible."

Antarc agreed to the plan without hesitation and tried not to let his disappointment show too much. More waiting? Right when Antarc was certain Phos wouldn't have to wait anymore. At least winter wasn't that far off. Only a few month's time, which was a relief. While he would prefer to not wait any longer, compared to thousands of years, it wasn't that long of a wait at all. 

Hold on until winter, Phos.

I hope you’ll be alright until then.

Dark, gray clouds. It’s windy and cold.

Moissanite was standing outside the school in his usual spot for observing the weather.

Winter’s early this year. 

Still no sign of…

…

of Sensei.

He carefully felt his face for any cracks and found nothing. He was fine for the moment.

“How’s it look? Think it will snow?” Mordenite asked him. The blue and white gem was inside the school just behind him, squinting up at the sky. His usual neat and tidy hair that he prided himself in was a complete mess, like he hadn’t groomed in days.

In fact, Moissanite knew he hadn’t. Because they’ve all been too busy looking for Sensei.

It was like the elder gem had vanished into thin air. They couldn’t find a trace of him anywhere on the island, even after searching for two months straight. Bloodstone had been brave enough to venture into the ocean in search of him but still found nothing. It was possible that Sensei was further out in the ocean, but if that’s the case, then he probably didn’t want to be found.

Moissanite wasn't sure how to break the news to the others. He only managed to accept this conclusion himself because he hated the other conclusion even more. That being the idea that Sensei had simply been snatched up by the Lunarians, the very thing he had always warned could happen if someone was alone.

And it would all be Moissanite’s fault for failing.

“Moissanite?”

Moissanite realized he’d left the other gem waiting for an answer.

“It’s definitely going to snow. By tonight at the latest. We need to start setting up for hibernation or it's going to be very hard to get anything done around here.”

“But what about Sensei? We still need to find him!” Ruby said. He was shivering underneath a large blanket.

“Sensei is GONE, Ruby. He’s not coming back.” Bloodstone snapped at his sibling.

Moissanite didn’t have the heart to tell him to watch his tone. They all knew how deeply upset the black gem was. He didn't talk about it, but Moissanite knew he blamed himself for not being able to find Sensei on the day he ran.

The gems were all sitting on the floor together, wrapped up in blankets by the entrance to the school, waiting for the morning assembly to start. If you could even call it that anymore. They hadn’t had a proper one in so long. It was usually just a weather report, and then…off to look for Sensei again. Moissanite was actually grateful that winter was coming early this year. It meant everyone could forget about the search and rest for a while instead. Nobody had gotten proper sleep since this whole thing started. Not even Serandite. Moissanite wished he could join them for hibernation, but somebody had to do winter duty in Sensei's place.

He didn’t want to, of course, but he had no choice, just like Sensei said he wouldn't. Just as he always feared.

He headed back inside and carefully sat down on the floor next to Mordenite, who tried to offer him one of the spare blankets, but he turned it down. He was afraid that wrapping up in the cozy blanket would end with him falling asleep on the spot. 

“So, who’s going to take care of the ice floes?” Mordenite asked. Looks like the question was on everyone else’s mind as well.

“I will, of course,” Moissanite said.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it?”

“I have no choice. Someone has to take care of the school while you are all asleep.”

“And how are you going to take care of it if you fall apart again?” Bloodstone asked him, not at all kindly.

“I-I won’t fall apart.” Moissanite insisted. “Besides, it’s not like any of you could do it. You’re all exhausted!”

Everyone remained quiet. They all knew he was right. How could they possibly argue with him when they had such messy hair and tired eyes?

“You all need your sleep.”

“But so do you!” Ruby countered. “A-and you do have a choice! A choice to let us help!”

The red gem scooted over from his spot to sit next to Moissanite. He looked like a little grub, with his blanket covering everything but his face. “Please. I know you never want my help, but I don’t want you to do this alone anymore!” 

It hurt Moissanite’s heart to hear that. “I’ve always wanted your help, Ruby.”

Ruby shuffled even closer until they were side by side. He leaned against Moissanite’s shoulder, and Moissanite let him. The red gem had been much kinder to him lately. It was a welcome change. This was the first time he’d argued with Moissanite at all since Sensei left, and it was over something nice like his well-being. He hoped that maybe, they could stay this way from now on.

“I’ll help,” Serandite said suddenly. “I can do winter duty.”

Moissanite stared at him and his droopy eyes in disbelief. Sure the orange gem liked cold weather, but going on the occasional night patrol and staying up all winter attacking ice floes and shoveling snow were completely different beasts. “You can’t be serious, Serandite. You won’t last a day without falling asleep!”

“I'm good with the cold though, you know that.” Serandite huffed. “And Bloodstone’s right, who’s going to run the school if you can’t? Who’s going to put us back together if we break or watch the weather? Even if you survive the winter, you’ll be sleepy all spring.”

Moissanite thought for a moment and sighed. He couldn’t argue with that. He glanced at Ruby, who was staring back at him with those big hopeful eyes, a silent plea for him to take the offer.

They’re worried about me. The thought lifted Moissanite’s spirits a bit. They really did care about him. They finally saw how hard he was trying. So what kind of leader was he to keep worrying them?

“Very well,” He said. “But if you feel tired at all, you will come and wake me up immediately! We’ll rotate if it’s too much for you.”

“Sure.” The orange gem yawned. “I’ll do that, but I won’t need to.”

"We'll see." Moissanite said with a smile. He tugged one of the spare blankets over from the pile near Mordenite and started to wrap it around his legs. Not even a second later, a fat snowflake landed on his arm. Then another. And more. He looked out at the sky and watched it quickly transform from a quiet gray landscape to a flurry of white specks.

Winter’s here.

Chapter Text

“Stop moving, Sensei! You’re making it difficult!”

Phos forced himself to stay still as Mordenite carefully brushed the alloy near his face with a small wooden comb. The two of them were seated on the bench by the infirmary, early morning light shining through the halls as Mordenite worked tirelessly on Phos’ hair. 

If you could even call it that. The few bits of actual hair Phos had left hadn’t seen the sun in years. He wasn’t even sure if it was still there, buried under all the alloy, or if it had broken off a long time ago when he wasn’t paying attention.

Either way, it’s not like he was concerned about his looks.

That’s why he was so puzzled when Mordenite met him in the hall, comb in hand, and demanded to fix it.

“You know, you really don’t need to do this.” He told the younger gem, flinching as the comb snagged on his alloy.

“But you always helped with our hair! Why can’t I help with yours? It’s so…drab, you know?”

Phos couldn’t help but smile. “Because you’re prettier than me, that’s why.”

“How so?” Mordenite stopped combing to give him a concerned look.

Phos glanced down at the alloy peeking out from his sleeves. A long time ago, it could’ve been considered beautiful. It used to be a brilliant bright gold, but ever since absorbing all that mercury from the fight with Cinnabar, it became dull in color. Sometimes the light hit it just right, and it shone bright again, but that was few and far between. Phos covered most of it with his robe anyway. 

“I just don’t consider myself to be pretty.” He admitted. 

“Why not?” Mordenite asked as he resumed combing. Phos had to concentrate to make sure he kept the alloy in place wherever the young gem styled it, which was difficult when Mordenite changed his mind a lot. 

“I mean, have you seen me?” He joked. 

“I have. I think you’re just fine.” Mordenite replied simply. “I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself. You tell all of us that we’re pretty, even if some of us happen to be Bloodstone, so why not yourself?”

Phos thought for a moment. How was he supposed to answer that? Every time he saw himself in his reflection he could only see his mistakes. The mercury and alloy were especially harsh reminders. But as far as the younger gems would know, there was nothing wrong. 

“I just don’t see myself that way.” He said. “I’m too different from you all.” 

Maybe he could get away with that as an excuse? No, probably not. He taught them all from birth to not judge each other for their differences, and they never once questioned him for why he was covered in alloy or missing his original eye. They just accepted him.

But only because they’ve known him like this for their entire lives. If they knew what Phos was really like, he was sure they wouldn't be so kind. 

“I thought I was different too once,” Mordenite spoke softly. “You’re the one who taught me to love myself anyway.”

Phos remembered when he first brought Mordenite home from the shore. From the second they stepped inside the school, he knew the little gem was different from the others, and not in a subtle way either. Their body was mainly made of mordenite, with bits of cavansite forming in small groups all over their body, but the real puzzle was how their hair had formed. It was round and spiky, almost fluffy like the little dogs Phos remembered from the moon.

Most of the cavansite had to be carved off, except for a little bit at the front of their head, giving them a lovely blue and white duo color hair almost like Euclase, but just different enough that Phos didn’t get involuntary shivers whenever he looked at them.

Mordenite had a lot of hair, and Phos wanted to trim it down, but the young gem got upset whenever Phos tried to cut it, so he let it be. 

But then came trying to style it. Impossible. Nobody could hope to brush or comb it down. In fact, there was a broken comb laying around somewhere, snapped right in half thanks to Mordenite’s hair. Eventually, Phos just gave up, tied it up a bit to keep it out of their face, and let it stay poofy.

It wasn’t that big of an issue at first. But as soon as Mordenite became aware of how his hair looked, he was also aware of how different everyone else was. Of how his hair wasn’t shiny like Moi or Serandite. Even Bloodstone’s dark hair was brighter in comparison.

He quickly grew self-conscious and shied away from the others, hiding in Phos’ robe most days. It upset Phos greatly to see, so even though he had very little knowledge on how to care for gem hair, he tried his best to help. He started by encouraging the young gem to pay special attention to the cavansite. The other gems rarely paid attention to their hair, so with enough grooming, it’d outshine them all despite being just a little piece.

Then he asked the other gems to give Mordenite compliments. For an extra boost of self-confidence.

It worked maybe a little too well in the end. Mordenite quickly went from being shy to having a huge ego about his looks and he developed quite the snarky personality. Phos didn’t mind at the time, he was just happy to see the young gem being proud of himself for once.

It worked out well in the end anyways, with Mordenite’s growing interest in looking good came a new interest in fashion. He was able to take up the mantle of the school's tailor, and for the first time in years, the gems had new uniforms. Though they looked exactly the same as the old ones to Phos’ eyes.

“AHA-” 

Mordenite’s shout snapped Phos back to the present. The younger gem dropped the comb and backed away from Phos, and then held out his hands to frame Phos within them as he admired his work. “With this, you’re all ready! Now, don’t just sit there! Go look! Oh, but don’t move your alloy, I'm going to seriously freak out if I have to do it a second time.”

“Alright, alright.” Phos sighed as Mordenite ushered him over to the jellyfish pond. He tried to ignore the way his alloy was twitching and leaned over to peer at the water.

“What do you think?”

The water settled and Phos was surprised by the difference the brushing had made. Sure, not much had changed, but it was much more distinctly hair-like than it had been before.  He actually looked like he had bangs! He looked less like Sensei, and more like his own person.

“I…I like it a lot.” He said, staring wide eyed at his reflection.

“You mean it? Like, really like it and not just telling-me-that-so-i’ll-feel-better-like-it?” Mordenite asked while practically bouncing on his heels, looking unusually happy.

“I mean it.” Phos gave him a genuine smile. He turned back to the water and gently brushed the alloy over his face to the side, getting a good look at his ruby eye. “What would I do without you all?”

Phos was pulled from his dreams by the screams of ice floes. Surrounded by complete darkness, he blinked the alloy out of his eyes and tried to remember where he was.

Oh, right. The ocean. Far away from Mordenite. Or anyone at all.

Phos was in a small cave created by two large rocks stacked against each other. It took some digging around in the sand to make room for his body, but he made it work. The light couldn’t reach him, which made him sleepier than usual, and it was dark enough that you couldn’t see him from outside if you peered in. To top it all off, he was so far out from the land that none of the new gems had ever been here before. He was certain they wouldn’t dare come out this far, for their own safety.

It was all perfectly set up for him to never be found again. The rocks could even shift and crush him in his sleep if the universe decided it really didn’t want him around.

So why was he awake?

Then Phos heard it again, the screeching of the ice. It was far away, but still distinct enough to pierce his ears.

He used to be able to sleep right through them, like any other noise. But after taking care of all the gems for so long and doing winter duty for them, he had become trained to respond to it. The second he heard an ice floe, he’d up and ready to smash it before it woke up any of his peers. Of course one of his few positive aspects had to come back and bite him. Had he really only slept til winter? It was pathetic compared to what he used to do.

Why could he never do anything right when it mattered?

Phos settled himself back down and tried to ignore the screeching. Eventually, someone would go and break the ice floes, Moissanite probably, and then he could go back to sleep.  At least this temporarily kept him from being tormented by his memories. 

But the screeching continued without stopping and Phos became more concerned. Was no one destroying the ice floes? How could they sleep with that noise?

Another screech.

Were they even asleep? They shouldn't stay up during winter.

…

Were they even around to hear the floes?

It was amazing how, even after finally getting himself to accept that the other gems could handle themselves, and that they were better off without him, cold icy fear still gripped his heart at the mere idea they were all gone. That the Lunarians had waited ever so patiently for the day he'd leave so they could finally strike. That by doing the right thing and leaving the gems, he had actually doomed them.

Phos pulled himself out from under the rocks and tore towards the land. 

I’ll just take a look. They won’t see me. It won’t hurt just to make sure they are okay. It’s not like I’m going back to sleep any time soon anyway.

It took longer than he would’ve liked with the water slowing him down. All the while, he argued with himself over whether this was the right thing to do. Soon enough, ice floes could be seen far above him on the surface, blocking out the light. A sign he was getting close to the land. He kept low to avoid potentially getting crushed.

Phos emerged out of the water on the familiar beach by the Chord Shore and forced himself to slow down even more. He couldn’t afford to go rushing into the school like this and announce his presence! 

As he walked forward, he kept his eyes out for any gems. He wasn’t sure what he feared more, being spotted by one, or not seeing any at all. What Phos could see was a huge amount of ice floes piled up together on the surface of the water in the distance, grinding against each other nonstop. Someone hasn’t been destroying them for several hours. It was beyond worrying.

Thankfully, his fears were quelled after he nearly tripped over a Serandite-shaped lump in the snow. The orange gem was buried under fresh snowfall in a deep sleep, cradling his winter sword, barely even twitching at the noise the ice floes made. Phos froze at the sight of him, but calmed down almost immediately.

They were okay! Just like he told himself they’d be!

...Of course they were okay. Why didn't he trust them to be? Why couldn't he just let them go and stay away like he said he would?

Looking at the sleeping gem, he didn't feel particularly bad about coming out here. He just felt pity. Whose idea was it to leave Serandite in charge of winter? That gem couldn’t last a day in limited daylight!

He waited around for a while to see if anyone else would show up to look for the small orange gem, maybe Bloodstone was his partner as usual, and Serandite was just slacking off. But Phos couldn't see anyone. There was no way Phos was going to leave him out here alone like this, so he gently lifted Serandite with his alloy, careful not to wake him, and carried the sleeping gem back to the school. 

When Phos got there, he saw that none of the snow by the entrance had been shoveled for days. He carefully crept inside, and was relieved to see that the hibernation chamber was set up as usual. Nothing looked amiss, except for the sleeping gems themselves. They all looked exhausted, even in their sleep. Phos had a distinct feeling that if the ice floes had woken them up at any point, they would just fall back asleep as soon as it was quiet again. He sighed and slowly placed Serandite down in his usual spot next to Bloodstone, then Phos took the orange gem’s serrated sword from his hands.

Phos set it down against the wall of the chamber before heading outside.

He didn’t need a sword.

Life worked in funny ways for Phos. When Phos was convinced he was helping, he was only making it worse, and when he was convinced he wasn’t needed, life brought him back anyway.

He wasn't sure what life wanted from him.

Phos quickly fell back into his usual winter routine of breaking the ice floes, shoveling the snow, and checking in on the sleeping gems. None of them walked in their sleep like Bort used to, but they still had their funny quirks. Bloodstone liked to roll over on top of Serandite and break him in his sleep, so you had to place a barrier of blankets between them, and Moissanite mumbled to himself unless you put a blanket over his head.

Despite that, they all stayed asleep without a problem. Phos probably could've even slept next to them at night like he used to without being spotted, but he refused. Just in case one did wake up, and because it didn't feel morally right. Instead, he dug himself a hole in the snow piles he shoveled and slept in there instead.

Cold, dark, and alone, just like the ocean. It was lonely, but it wasn’t so bad. It was nice to have a job and a sense of purpose again.

Phos even allowed himself to get a bit hopeful. Maybe this could be his life from now on? Sleeping in the sea during warm weather and waking up to care for the winter? He promised Antarc that's what he'd do after all. He wouldn't directly interfere with the gems' lives this way!

But life worked in funny ways for Phos. Just when Phos thought he was helping, life was quick to remind him of how useless he really was.

It was the middle of winter. The snowfall was at its strongest, and the skies their darkest. Phos had taken a casual trip to check the Chord Shore for spare gemstones to stock their reserve, just in case anyone needed repairs while he was gone during the warmer months.

That's when he found them. His replacement. His cruel reminder.

A beautiful light brown, shimmering in what little light escaped the clouds. Rough and brand new. Something in his mind told him it was Sinjarite, a gem just like Antarcticite. A crystal that formed only in the coldest weather and returned to a liquid form when it was warm. He didn't know how long they'd been out here, half buried in the fresh snow.

Phos could try to be Antarc. He could try to be Sensei. And life would always hand him a better option. Life would ask him, why were you born, three and a half? And he wouldn’t have the answer.

He stood in the snow, staring at the sleeping newborn gem in disbelief.

His mind also told him they were only a one-and-a-half hardness. One of the weakest gems he’d ever seen in his life. His disbelief turned into a desire to protect. It didn't matter if they were here to replace him, he would love them all the same. Phos lifted them from the snow and held them so close he feared he’d break them. They curled up in his arms, still fast asleep.

Life worked in funny ways for Phos. It looked out for him. It gave him better options so he couldn’t make the same mistakes again.

The sound of wooden swords clashing against each other echoed throughout the school. Bloodstone and Ruby locked in a mock duel. Then came the sound of wood hitting gemstone, a sign that someone was winning.

“Bloodstone, go easy on Ruby,” Moissanite called to the two gems. He was standing nearby, closely watching the fight for any mistakes, with a sword of his own firmly grasped in his hands.

“Go easy? He’s older! It’s not my fault he sucks.” came Bloodstone’s annoyed voice.

“Watch your language,” Moissanite growled.

“Woah, shit! You nearly took my finger off!”

“Sorry!” yelled Ruby.

Moissanite lightly smacked his hand against his forehead with a disappointed groan.

Phos was also sitting nearby, watching the chaos unfold. He was supposed to be here to judge Moissanite’s ability to come up with battle strategies, but instead, he found himself trying not to fall asleep at the sight of the quarreling. They’d been here for hours trying to perfect the same battle plan to no avail.

Serandite, who was lazily curled up in his lap, must’ve had the same idea.

“Not much of a fighter, huh?” Phos casually asked the orange gem. 

Serandite’s eyes fluttered open and he stretched for a good moment. “I don’t like fighting, it’s too hot to fight,” He said. “And I don’t like this plan either.”

“You said that about the last one.”

“Yeah, I know.” 

Phos turned his attention back to the fight. Ruby and Bloodstone had abandoned their swords in favor of arguing, while Moissanite pointed at them threateningly with his sword. Phos could intervene, but he really wanted to see how the white gem handled it. From the looks of it, it wouldn’t be long before Moissanite switched out the battle partners to avoid further arguments.

“You know, I think you’d like winter duty.” Phos mused to Serandite. 

“Really? Isn’t that the job where you smash ice all day?” Serandite asked. He was still relatively new.

“It’s more than that. Sure, I break the ice floes, but I also shovel the snow around the school and I look after all of you while you sleep.” Phos explained. “Lunarians hardly show up during winter, so there’s not a lot of fighting.”

Serandite sat up a bit, looking a lot more interested now. “Huh. That’s a lot for you to do. Don’t you get tired of doing two big jobs, Sensei?”

A wooden sword was flung somewhere behind Phos with a loud crash. Yelling from Moissanite ensued.

“Sometimes,” He whispered. “but I made a promise to a special friend long ago that I'd take care of winter, so it's hard to let it go.”

“But if you taught me how to do it,” Serandite said, tilting his head. “wouldn't that still count for your promise?”

Phos nodded thoughtfully. “I suppose it would.”

Phos made a promise that winter would be cared for, and that was exactly what he was going to do. Whether it was him or another gem he taught didn't matter.

Thankfully for Phos' sake, Sinjarite was a fast learner.

It was only a few weeks since his birth, and the young gem was seemingly eager to take over Phos’ job. Realistically, it’d take a few winters for him to fully mature enough to take on the role, but he definitely had the spirit.

Looks-wise, he was the spitting image of Antarc, with his short hair and white uniform. Personality-wise, it was too early to tell. While he walked around on wobbly unsure legs and only knew how to say a few words, he was already very good at shoveling and throwing extra blankets on Ruby whenever the red gem wouldn’t stop kicking in his sleep.

Phos would only have a few months per year to teach the brown gem, and it was already getting close to spring. It had stopped snowing a few days ago, and the sun was starting to make a daily appearance. So he tried to cram as much as possible into the few days he had left. Which often meant skipping sleep entirely just to stay up and teach Sinjarite his lessons.

Still, it was much easier than teaching Moissanite how to lead, because Phos actually knew what he was doing this time around. 

And all the dedicated teaching paid off, as Sinjarite continued to excel at his given tasks despite how young he was. Okay, sometimes he didn't finish shoveling and just played in the snow for the rest of the day, giggling the whole while, but it couldn't be helped.

At this point, It was just the ice floes that were left solely to Phos. It was the most dangerous job of them all and Phos wasn’t ready to lend that to Sinjarite for a good long while. Not with how easily breakable the brown gem was. Sinjarite could break just from a simple fall, and ice wouldn't catch him the way the snow did.

Besides, Phos couldn’t leave until the gem was emotionally mature enough to handle being on his own like Antarc had been.

That was the part Phos was dreading most of all.

In the short time Phos knew Sinjarite, he had already grown so attached to him. How could he not? Leaving the other gems was the hardest thing he ever had to do, and it left him feeling so empty. It didn't help that he dreamed of them every time he closed his eyes. Spending time with Sinjarite filled that emptiness and let him feel whole again.

The young gem followed him around the school all day like a little lost Shiro puppy. Hiding away in his robe and climbing onto his shoulders. At night he would crawl into the snow piles with Phos instead of sleeping in his own room. It felt just like the good old days back when Ruby was young. Back when Phos thought he was doing the right thing by being here.

Sinjarite was everything to Phos, and Phos knew he was Sinjarite's whole world as well. The other gems didn't even know of his existence yet, it would be so cruel to leave him alone without a single friend.

He knew why he had to leave, but it still didn't feel fair. It felt even less fair when the young gem brought it up for the first time.

“Ice floes!” Sinjarite loudly proclaimed as he tugged on Phos’ sleeves while the older gem trudged through the snow. The ice floes had become active only a few minutes ago, and Phos had to make haste.

“Not for you,” Phos said with a laugh, gently shaking free of Sinjarite's grasp.

“Why not?”

“You’re too young.”

“Next day!”

“No, still too young. We might be able to try next year.”

“Too long!” Sinjarite whined.

“Don’t be silly. You’ll be asleep all year, it won’t be a long wait for you.”

“Why sleep?”

“It’s too hot for you, so you sleep until it’s cold again, remember? I do it too.”

“You here next year?”

“Of course.”

“Always?”

“Y-” Phos stopped and inhaled sharply. Sinjarite’s big eyes were staring up at him like pools of pure innocence. Phos didn’t want to break the truth to the young gem just yet, but he also didn’t want to lie. It wasn't right. “No, not always. One of these years I’ll have to return to the sea.”

“Why?” Sinjarite tugged on his sleeve again.

“It’s where I belong.”

“Me too?” Sinjarite’s question was muffled by Phos’ robe and he hugged the older gem’s arm tightly. He looked just as ready to cry as Phos did.

“No. No, you belong here, with winter.” Phos gently patted his head, trying to hold back tears. “But I won’t leave for a long, long time okay? I still need to take care of the ice floes until you're ready to do it.”

Sinjarite suddenly huffed and stomped his foot. “No! Me ice floes!”

Phos laughed again. Usually, he was annoyed whenever the brown gem started being childish, but today it was welcome. He wouldn’t have to think about the lonely future just yet, because, to Sinjarite, all that mattered was the little things right now.

“No. You’re going to shovel while I do the ice floes.” Phos pointed towards the shovel half buried in the snow. “It’s a very important job because it makes it easier to walk. I'm struggling here.”

“Booooooooooring.” Sinjarite let out an exaggerated groan and flopped down in the snow. He kicked his feet in the powdery snow, sending it flying at Phos and giving him a most intense glare all the while.

“Ice floes are just as boring, trust me,” Phos said to him, nonchalantly brushing off the powder. “Give it a week and you won’t want to do them either.”

Sinjarite just crossed his arms and continued pouting and Phos rolled his eyes. He’d experienced worse tantrums from the other gems before, especially Bloodstone. This wasn’t going to phase him any time soon.

“I’ll be back before nightfall. You can shovel the snow or wait for me inside the school, okay? And watch where you step!” 

“Fiiiiiiine.” Sinjarite groaned again and stormed over to the shovel, nearly tripping over a small bump in the snow on the way.

Phos sighed. No way those wobbly legs could ever tackle an ice floe in one piece. Even a small one.

Phos watched Sinjarite do a rather halfhearted attempt at shoveling for a few minutes before turning and making his way towards the ice fields. On the way, he occasionally glanced back towards the school to make sure Sinjarite wasn’t following him.

Thankfully, the young gem seemed to be behaving himself today and staying put. Nothing was more exhausting than carrying the brown gem all the way back to school. Sometimes twice in one day. Phos didn't get all that mad when it happened though, because it was awfully stressful to leave Sinjarite behind by himself without supervision.

Phos didn't have much of a choice in the matter as the ice fields were too dangerous to take him along. At least the brown gem was close enough to the school to hide if anything went wrong.

At least that’s what Phos told himself to feel better. Sometimes, in between moments where the floes weren't as active, he ran back to the school to check anyway. He wasn't sure how Sensei managed to raise Antarc like this.

The skies were clear and the sun was out today, and Phos was thankful for once. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle destroying the ice floes and watching over Sinjarite at the same time without any sunlight. All those nights neglecting sleep were starting to catch up to him. He was certain he was going to be able to sleep through all of next year with no problem.

Phos thought longingly of the times when he could afford to be careless and fall asleep, back when he had Moissanite around to help with newborn gems. But in the middle of winter with no one else awake, he no longer had that luxury. He didn't want to burden Moissanite with taking care of another gem right now anyway. Just this one time, he would the white gem rest.

Phos arrived at the ice fields and readied his alloy. It wasn't long before he made quick work of the nearest ice floe as it began to scream. He slashed through it with his alloy before it even had a chance to scream more then once. First floe of the day successfully crushed. It crumbled back into the sea, taking that awful noise with it.

Phos let himself feel satisfaction at how easy it had become for him. If this was all life was going to be for him for the next few years, it should be easy for the sake of his sanity.

He stood, ready and waiting for the next ice floe to rear up. Nothing happened. He kept waiting, body tense, and still, the field of floes remained quiet. Nothing emerged from the sea. Not a single sound for minutes on end.

His alloy drooped to the ground and he felt a chill run down his spine. This wasn’t normal. The ice floes were supposed to be a constant, seemingly never-ending pain in the neck. He remembered the long days that left him begging for the noise to shut up already so he could finally leave and go home

The last time the fields had been this quiet…they had spoken to him.

Do you still remember us, Phos?

With voices that were louder in his head than any scream.

Do you remember the last time we talked?

Chapter Text

"It's about TIME you got Cinnabar a ship! Winter started weeks ago! Were you hoping we'd just forget about the whole thing?”

Dian's complaints were aimed at Enma, who looked most unamused.

"I can assure you that was not my intention." He said.

Antarc wouldn't have been surprised if it was his intention though. After all, it was pretty easy to accomplish that only a few years ago, even if it made Antarc feel guilty to admit.

The prince and princess, along with some of the Lunarian scientists and nearly every former gem on the moon were all gathered down at the ship dock where a particularly small Lunarian ship was waiting for them. It was only large enough on the inside to hold one gem.

And that gem was Cinnabar, who looked like he might start unraveling like a ribbon and float off into the depths of space at any moment, and Antarc couldn't blame him. He knew exactly what that felt like, considering he had been unable to think of anything else and would spend his time counting the days up until this very moment.

Their one and only shot at contacting Phos.

At least the other gems being here offered some moral support for the two of them. So many were present that not every gem could fit on the dock itself, some had to stand nearby on the moon's surface. It was easy to lose someone in the crowd but Antarc could still pick out several familiar faces he was glad to see, like Lapis and Ghost.

Out of all of them, the two gems that stood the closest were of course, Bort, who never left Cinnabar's side, and Dian, the biggest supporter of this event, who kept giving Bort unfriendly looks but still stayed nearby. Antarc could tell that the two diamonds were trying their hardest to put aside their grievances to be here.

All for Phos' sake.

"I apologize for the delay," Barbata addressed the gems while idly flipping through pages of a clipboard. "We meant to have you there as soon as the gems started hibernation, but Phos' location was compromised for quite some time."

"Compromised?" Antarc echoed. "How?"

"Let's just say…we can't exactly drop you out in the middle of the ocean. The water doesn't do our bodies any favors."

Antarc didn't know how to respond to that one, so Bort did it for him. "Did that idiot really wander out into the ocean again?"

“Sure did,” Barbata said, looking as equally puzzled about it as Antarc felt. "We don't know why."

"Maybe he was trying to find the Admirabilis?" Dian suggested. "He could talk to them, after all."

"Perhaps, but he didn't go far enough to find any. The remaining Admirabilis are miles away from the land. Ever since we lost contact with the pearl eye it's been difficult to explain some of his behavior. All we know for sure is that he won't leave the new gems alone for long. He returned a few weeks ago and after taking some time to monitor him, we believe everything to be stable.”

“Some time indeed,” Dian muttered just loud enough to be heard.

Barbata ignored his comment but looked nervous at the gem's discontent. "There is one other gem out of hibernation with him right now, but we concluded that they stay alone at the school most of the day."

Antarc couldn't help but wonder if that gem was like Phos, someone who couldn't sleep during the winter. Or even, a gem like himself, who only appearing during winter? Would it be healing for Phos to have another Antarc?

What if he's already forgotten us? What if we're doing something wrong by going there?

There was that fear again. The fear that Antarc was selfish for this.

"So, long story short, you'll be able to visit him today without being seen. Sorry, again, that it took so long." Barbata handed off the clipboard to another Lunarian scientist and then spoke directly to Cinnabar. "Are you ready to leave?”

"I think I am," Cinnabar replied, looking very much not ready.

"You'll have to be, I'm afraid. There isn't much of winter left so it’s either now or next year." Barbata said and then moved aside, narrowly dodging Dian who looked ready to hit him for the “next year” comment. The rest of the Lunarians followed suit, leaving a clear path to the ship.

Everyone, both Lunarian and former gem, was waiting expectantly for Cinnabar, who stood as still as a statue.

Antarc had to admit, Cinnabar seemed to handle the pressure surprisingly well all things considered. Sure, he wasn't moving, but he wasn't breaking down into a mess like Antarc so often felt like doing. Dian nearly went to cheer him on before Antarc gave him a look that asked “please don’t startle him.”

Judging by his expression, the red gem was mulling over something in his head.

“Anything wrong?” Enma calmly asked him.

"It’s not wrong, it’s just," Cinnabar began. “I want to make one request before I go.”

"And what would that be?"

"I know you monitor everything that happens on earth and so, I don't want you to monitor our conversation. I want whatever happens between me and Phos to be private."

"What?" It was Dian who reacted first. "But how am I going to know what he said?"

"None of us get to see the earth logs anyway." Bort reminded him. “It makes no difference.”

"Yeah but-" Dian stopped talking mid-sentence and snapped his mouth shut. He must've realized he had nearly spoken to Bort. Antarc guessed that while Dian was tolerating being in the same room as him, talking was still very much out of the question. Dian chose to run up to Cinnabar instead, clasping the red gem’s hands in his own. "Well, then don't forget to mention me!” He said with a cheery tone. “And everything I wanted to say! Oh, I made a list, should I send it with you?"

Cinnabar’s expression was somewhere between mildly annoyed and wanting to laugh. "If he says anything about you, I will let you know, but otherwise…"

Enma remained quiet for a long moment and Antarc feared that he was going to refuse the request until Welegato roughly elbowed the prince in the side. "We'll halt the monitoring for now, won't we?" Welegato said through clenched teeth, smiling all the while.

Enma didn’t flinch, but he didn’t ignore the princess’ request either. "Very well.” He said with a sigh. “But you must understand why I am worried about this meeting. I’m risking everything by letting you do this.”

"Don't worry, I'll let you know if your toy breaks," Cinnabar said with enough snark to make several of the gems let out hushed gasps.

Enma showed no emotion on his face but visibly tensed up. Antarc was certain he was only refraining from responding thanks to Welegato’s influence. Antarc would have to remember to personally thank the princess later for everything he'd done for them lately, maybe even with some bowing thrown in to make up for all the bad blood between them.

He was forced to tear his gaze away from the prince when he realized Cinnabar was speaking to him. "Is there anything you want me to say?" The red gem asked, his voice soft.

Antarc felt his heart twist. There was a lot he wanted to say, but at the same time, what was he supposed to say? He only knew Phos for a day, yet it felt like a lifetime. He’d never forget the mint green gem, but he also couldn’t find the words to express his feelings.

Not to mention that growing fear that when he got there, there would be another Antarc already. An Antarc that never left Phos in the first place.

"You don't need to do anything for me," He said, his chest still twisting. "Just, make sure he's okay."

"I will," Cinnabar gave him a small smile, and with that, he was finally off towards the ship. As he approached the ship and its doors opened for him, the air was suddenly filled with the booming sounds of the crowd offering their cheers of encouragement. Cinnabar managed only the quickest, shyest wave in return before quickly climbing in.

The ship closed up and began its slow ascent into the air, taking the red gem and their hopes with it.

To Antarc, it felt like time had stopped completely. The sounds of cheering faded into the background and all he could hear now was his own heart.

Phos held his breath. Maybe if he didn’t respond to the ice floes, they would stop talking. Maybe he could go back to smashing them like normal and pretend he never heard a thing.

"We’re so glad you came back. You were too far away for us to reach."

“Actually, I do remember the last time we talked. I said I didn’t want to speak to you. Did you forget about that?” Phos' voice was trembling despite his best efforts.

The ice shifted ever so slightly under his feet.

“And did you forget how you reached for the eye we offered you?” It spoke in harsh tones.

“Well, I changed my mind,” Phos said quickly. He wasn’t sure where to strike, all of the ice looked the same to him. So instead he slowly started backing up toward the direction of the school. “I don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t even know what that was for!”

“We told you. It was to help you. Make you stronger. Make your resolve stronger. You won’t get your revenge without us.”

“Revenge? Revenge on who?” He asked, even though part of him knew the answer.

“The Lunarians of course. They will come back. They will ask you to pray, you know this as well as we do.”

The ice lurched underneath Phos again, nearly knocking him off balance. He heard a cracking sound from deep within the ice floes. He had a bad feeling about it.

“But why pray for them? When you could deny them their peace? Why pray when you could watch them burn for all eternity?”

“I don’t-”

“Doesn’t it anger you to know they’d find peace after everything they did to you?”

Phos paused, his alloy bristling. “Of course it does, but the gems are more important to me. If praying away the Lunarians keeps them safe then I’ll do it! I tried the revenge thing already, and all I did was destroy myself and my friendships.” Phos thought of Moi breaking apart right in front of him. He couldn’t bear to think of the gems seeing him like he was the day he returned to earth. A monster consumed with rage.

"The last time I got revenge it ruined my life!"

"Then what will you do when they come back?"

"I don't know. Maybe they won't!" Phos said with a sudden sense of clarity. "Maybe they'll never come back and I worried about it so much for no reason at all. But so what if I did? I already did the right thing and left the other gems. The Lunarians won't have a reason to come for them.”

He braced himself against the shifting ice. Phos had already been in the process of getting over his fear of the Lunarians for some time, and now, he was finally ready to let it go. "I'm not afraid of them anymore! I’m just afraid of…me."

The ice stilled its movement and was quiet. For a moment, Phos thought he had won the argument. The ice floes would no longer be able to play off his fears if he no longer had them!

Then the ice spoke again in a single voice he didn't recognize.

"You disappoint me."

Suddenly, with a massive crash, the ice field started splitting apart, sending out a thick spray of ocean water straight up into the air. To Phos, it looked like every single ice floe in existence were bursting out of the sea all at once. The screeching was unbearable, and Phos had to forgo running away in favor of keeping his hands over his head to try and block the sound.

When the spray settled down, he found himself surrounded on all sides by a massive ring of thick ice, walling him in. The flat ice under Phos' feet was left untouched.

Phos stood as still as possible, poised and waiting for the ice to move again, but it did not. Phos thought it was waiting for him to speak.

So he did.

“What do you want from me?”

The walls cracked a bit.

"I want you to take the eye. To fill you with revenge."

“Why would the eye help?”

“Because it’s my eye. It carries my will to destroy humanity.”

The floor of ice directly in front of Phos started to break apart. Something was trying to climb out from under the ice. Something Phos had never seen before. He backed up as far as he could, pressing up against the wall of ice behind him. Fear and a sick curiosity to see what would appear kept him from striking when he should’ve.

What emerged from below was a humanoid figure made of ice. It had no facial features but the strange eye was in its right socket, mirroring Phos’ own foreign eye, and it had a familiar-looking hairstyle, much like Ruby’s. Its body cracked and snapped with every movement as it hauled itself out of the water like it was never meant to move at all.

Phos realized with a jolt of horror that its arms weren’t made of ice like the rest. It was made of a mint green gemstone.

“My arms,” he whispered, barely audible over the cracking sounds of the figure moving.

“Yes, your weak ones that I so kindly replaced.” Said the figure. It still only spoke with one voice that Phos could hear. The rest had long been drowned out. “I hoped that improving you before the Lunarians did would work in my favor. But they still managed to turn you into a human in the end. Disgusting."

Phos felt sick hearing this. “What do you mean they turned me into a human?”

“Foolish child, didn’t you ever notice? You’re not a gem anymore. All that rage, all that hate and deceit. Every lie out of your mouth from the day you returned from the moon was the touch of humanity. They turned you into a vile creature so you could save their equally vile souls.”

“How do you know this?” Phos couldn’t stop his voice from shaking. “How do you know about my life?”

It raised one of Phos' arms and started flexing the fingers on its hands, making sickening crunching sounds as it did.

"I’m a part of you."

Phos couldn't bear the sight of it using his arms any longer, his alloy formed into a whip that shot out and struck at the figure. It casually leaned aside and dodged his blow, causing his alloy to fly past and strike deep into the wall behind the figure instead. Phos felt ice quickly creeping up his alloy like it was trying to freeze and trap his arm within the wall.

“I don’t want to hear anymore!” Phos yelled as he wrenched his arms free of the ice, sending fractures of the wall raining down onto the two of them. “You’re not real! You’re just toying with me! It’s all in my head!”

The figure ignored the rain of ice, even as the pieces dislodged chunks from its shoulders on impact. It just stared at Phos with that single horrible, unblinking eye. Then the sound of hollow laughter rang across the field. Loud and piercing in Phos' mind. Though the figure's expressionless face remained unchanged, its body moved along with the laughter like a mockery of breathing, loudly cracking all the while. It sounded like a nightmare.

“Haven’t you ever wondered why you were able to take Adamant’s eye? Have you ever wondered why you were different from the others from the very beginning? Why only you can hear me?”

"No.."

Phos took another swing at the figure, only for a small chunk of ice to burst up out of the ocean and block his hit. He tried to force his way through it but the ice was still trying to freeze his alloy in place, slowing him down. He struck out again, only for the same thing to happen to his other arm, another chunk bursting out and blocking his blow. He struggled to free himself and was forced to listen to every horrible that the voice was telling him.

“My particles were scattered into the ocean with the remains of humans. Every winter they would freeze into the ice, but one winter was different."

“NO!”

“You weren't meant to be human, Phos, you were supposed to be me.”

Phos could only scream as he finally tore his arms free from the ice chunks. The alloy on his body shot out in nearly every direction, forming spikes that struck into the ice walls, while his arms continued to lash towards the figure. Any further attempts the figure made to block his blows with chunks of ice were met with overwhelming strikes by the alloy. No amount of freezing could stop Phos as he finally burst through the last bit of ice blocking his way and coiled his alloy around the figure’s neck, squeezing until he crushed right through it, sending the head of the figure crumbling off and falling into the water below, taking the horrible eye with it.

Phos didn’t stop screaming as he continued his assault, tearing the arms from the figure and smashing them into unrecognizable dust on the ground. He ripped every last icy piece he could from the figure until the entire thing was lost to the sea.

His voice eventually grew hoarse and gave up, but his body kept going. He kept striking his alloy through the ice walls around him, sending pieces crashing down into the ice floor, breaking it until most of it was reduced to nothing but open water. With his alloy extending all the way off his body, he caught sight of his broken, mish-mash of a body for the first time in years in the dark reflection of the water.

He didn't recognize himself anymore.

With his anger finally fading, Phos backed up onto the safety of the last remaining section of the ice floor, next to one of the broken walls, and watched the last few chunks of loose ice break apart from it and plummet into the water, taking his reflection with it in the ripples.

His breath was raspy from the yelling and his robe was ragged, torn in places from the sharp ice tearing at it. The alloy slowly returned to cover his body, and his reflection in the water returned as well. Even with the alloy back in place he still looked like a mess. He was left staring at himself and his horrible body. His horrible human body. Or was it a machine body? Both?

He was starting to regret destroying the arms. Maybe if he had reattached them, he would feel more like himself again. That's all he wanted at this point. He just wanted to be Phos.

But, was Phos ever really his own person? Formed from a piece of a machine, molded into a human by the remnants of humanity. Was this all he was from the beginning? Had his whole life been really leading up to this? Were any of the choices throughout his life even his?

It felt like all his fears were being confirmed at once. He truly didn't belong with the other gems, no matter how much he wanted to. Why did life even bother giving him those chances then? Why did his Sensei ever bother trying to give him that encyclopedia job? Why did he have to pretend that Phos was a normal gem when he probably knew the truth?

...

If only, if only he had taken that job. It wouldn't have changed who he is, but maybe he could've been happier, for at least a little while longer. How he wished he could go back in time and slap some sense into his younger self. Tell him that it’s okay to only be a 3.5 with a considerably less cool job than the others, who cares even?

It reminded him of the things Phos wished he could tell the new gems. That it's okay if they didn't want to patrol or fight, that Phos didn't care about their hardness levels, and that Phos loved them all no matter what they did. That he was sorry he spent so long obsessing over something that didn't matter anymore.

Why, why didn't he say that when he had the chance? Why had he been so afraid?

Though his alloy had returned, Phos didn't have the energy for any tears. He just stared silently into the ocean as his thoughts spiraled further into the abyss. For a moment he thought he could hear the sounds of the human city again as if his mind was regressing back to the day he was first abandoned on the beach.

What dragged him out of this spiral and back to his senses was the feeling of a familiar presence behind him. He didn’t need to see them to tell who it was.

"I really don't want to see you right now, Antarc!" He snapped and turned around only to be met with the sight of a ghostly figure with pale red hair. Cinnabar.

Who was looking quite offended at his comment.

Phos stared with his mouth open, blinking a few times to confirm what he was seeing was true. In all the years that Phos had dealt with his hallucinations, he never expected to see Cinnabar appear in one of them. It was supposed to only be Antarc!

This was entirely new, and it was something Phos definitely didn’t have the energy for right now, he turned back to face the water and tried his best to ignore Cinnabar's presence, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see the Cinnabar hallucination looking like it was struggling for a moment.

Almost like it was struggling to speak?

"Is that really all you have to say to me?" Cinnabar finally wheezed with a strange hollow voice, startling Phos again. The apparitions of Antarc never spoke to him!

I must be losing my mind.

Phos didn't know what to say to the hallucination at first. He probably could’ve made fun of it for how much it was coughing right now. He wasn't sure why his mind decided to make a version of Cinnabar that was sickly. But he had nothing to lose at this point, so he might as well try to talk to it.

"I don't know what to do, Cinnabar." He muttered, resting his head on his hands. "I've tried everything."

Cinnabar didn't speak, still struggling to breathe, but judging by his concerned expression he wanted Phos to explain.

"I don't know what to do" Phos repeated. "My whole life has led to me being left here to pray. That's all I'm good for. I can't even take care of the other gems without ruining their lives, but it hurts so much to be alone.”

The Cinnabar hallucination was quiet for a moment. “You don’t have to be alone.”

“But I do! I've ruined everything for them!”

The hallucination sighed and then choked back a cough. "You've been keeping secrets from them, haven't you?"

"How'd you know?" Phos asked, even though it was a very silly question considering this Cinnabar was a figment of his own mind.

"Because you did it before," Cinnabar said. "To me. To all of us. But you don't have to keep secrets anymore, Phos."

"What if I have no choice?"

Cinnabar at the nerve to scoff at him. "Please, you've always the choice to tell them. You're not alone and you were never alone."

Phos felt a sudden surge of fury. He shot up onto his feet and met the Cinnabar figure head-on, standing so close their faces practically touched. “And what happened to me when I tried? When I came to you all defenseless? I trusted you and what did you do to me?"

Real fear flashed in Cinnabar's eyes. All too familiar. His fury died down as quickly as it flared up and Phos backed away in shame.

"I mean...I just," Phos slumped back down on the ground. "I'm sorry. I guess you're right, but I still felt alone, and it hurt. More than anything in the world.”

The Cinnabar hallucination took a few steps away from him, its hand on its chest. Phos half expected it to leave right then and there, disappear like Antarc always did.

But it stayed with him.

"I-You're right," Cinnabar confessed, sounding more heartfelt than Phos expected. "What we did to you was wrong, I won't ever deny that. We really did care about you but, we didn't show it when it mattered most. I thought I knew how you felt Phos, because I isolated myself for so long thinking it was the right thing to do, but then, I found out I never had to, and I found that out because of you. You never got to have that experience, and I'm sorry."

Phos wanted to believe these words but he couldn't. “No, you're not. I just want it to be true.” He muttered.

“It is true!” Cinnabar insisted. “Look, Phos. I know now what you were trying to do for us, and while it might be too late to fix our relationship, that doesn't mean you should give up on these new gems! I'm not going to let you feel alone anymore!"

Phos just squeezed his eyes shut. Why did this hallucination have to taunt him like this?

“I don’t want to talk anymore.” He said, willing the fake Cinnabar to leave him alone.

But Cinnabar still didn't leave. “You don’t have a choice. I’m talking to you whether you like it or not. Besides, I distinctly remember you never left me alone when you had the chance.”

A memory of a small green gem and a red gem, together on a hillside. Phos groaned and briefly considered lashing out at the hallucination again. Maybe he could shoo it away. But there was that tiny part of him that didn't want to. A big part of him actually. He didn't want to hurt Cinnabar again, and if all he had for comfort now was this version in his mind, he might as well accept this over the screams of dying humans.

“I wish you had come with me to the moon,” He said.

“Sometimes I think about that too. I..I wanted you to be my partner.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Phos asked, searching Cinnabar's face for answers.

A faint blush appeared on their pale skin. “I don’t know. I just wanted you to ask me first I guess.”

“That’s stupid!” Phos cried.

“I know,” Cinnabar said, their embarrassed blush deepening

“...Well, sorry I didn’t ask you then, I guess.”

“It's alright, it's not your fault. I don’t think I would've gone to the moon no matter what you said. I just didn’t want to hurt Sensei. I felt so terrible for him, and I feel like you could've related to his loneliness."

"His loneliness?"

"He couldn't tell anyone what was wrong, no matter how badly he wanted to. How could I hurt someone like that? That's why I wish I knew you felt the same way. So I think, whatever is going on with those gems of yours, you should talk to them."

"But what if they hate me?"

"Would you have hated Sensei, if he told you the truth?"

Something clicked in Phos’ mind. A realization he’d needed for the longest time.

No, he wouldn't have hated his Sensei, if he knew the truth. All the negative ways he felt towards Adamant had come from a place of frustration because he didn't know why bad things were happening. Why did Adamant have to be broken when he so desperately needed answers?

Now the new gems were frustrated with Phos, not just because he was failing them, but because they didn't understand why he was failing them. Phos wasn't prepared to take care of gems, but neither was Adamant. Adamant literally wasn’t built for it, he was only built for one purpose, to pray. He was probably as scared when the first gem arrived as Phos had been when Ruby was born. But he still took care of the gems anyway, as best as he could. He never forced the gems to take his place, he never ran away from them.

And if he had, it wouldn't have fixed anything. Phos would still be left wondering about the moon.

So, it didn't matter if the new gems rejected him for this, it even didn't matter if they broke him, they deserved to know the truth. He couldn't be like Adamant anymore, he didn't have an excuse. He was a still a mess, but he wasn't a broken machine. He was just human.

All he needed was the courage to do it. That one thing that was always escaping him. The thing that his visions of Antarc stood as a reminder for.

Only Antarc wasn't here this time, it was Cinnabar, who was still surprisingly good at convincing Phos to find that courage. Maybe it was all the talking he did, it was a lot nicer than the silent staring.

“I think I know what to do now,” He said out loud.

“What is that?”

“I’m going to go back to the school, and I’m going to tell the gems everything. No matter what happens next.”

"That's what I wanted to hear." Cinnabar smiled at him. A sight Phos wished he could’ve seen on the real Cinnabar. “I only wish we could've gotten more time to try and fix things between us too."

"If only you were real, I’d try everything," Phos agreed. “But you're not so, at least I can say thank you for the talk. I think I like you better than the fake Antarc.”

Cinnabar gave him a weird look before bursting into a fit of wheezy laughter. Phos watched with wide eyes as the pale gem nearly doubled over laughing. He had never seen the real Cinnabar act like that! What was wrong with his head? He couldn’t help but nervously laugh along with the pale gem.

“What’s so funny?”

“I just missed you, dumbass,” Cinnabar said with such real sincerity in his voice that Phos couldn't help but stare, his smile slowly fading.

He cautiously reached out for Cinnabar's hand with his own. The pale gem's smile faded as well. Their hands touched for just a second and Phos felt it. It was real.

"Cinnabar?" Phos breathed.

Suddenly a startled yelp echoed through the air along with the sound of rumbling. The two gems turned just in time to see a small avalanche of snow careening down the side of the broken ice wall straight toward them. Phos quickly shielded himself from the oncoming flurry with his alloy as the snow flooded over him. When the white powder settled, he saw the apparition of Cinnabar was gone, with nothing but a pile of snow left in its place.

He felt a painful twist of disappointment in his chest. It was just my imagination after all.

Phos tore his gaze from the pile of snow to look around for the source of the avalanche. He soon found said source laying in another pile of snow with one of his legs broken in half.

"Sinjarite! What are you doing?" He gasped at the sight.

"Ice floe!" Sinjarite exclaimed at the top of his lungs and pridefully held up the shovel he had apparently stabbed into the snow with. It reminded Phos of the time Antarc had sent him careening down a hill of snow on accident in nearly the same way.

It didn't look like Sinjarite had seen the whole ordeal with the Cinnabar hallucination, so thankfully Phos wouldn't have to explain why he had been talking to thin air. If he had to do that on top of everything else he experienced today, his body might just melt into a big pile of alloy goop.

"You were supposed to stay at the school, Sinja. Why can’t you listen?” He scolded the brown gem.

"Want to help!"

"I don't need help out here. You can help me by staying at school as I told you!" Phos' tone grew more stern. The last thing he needed right now was another Ruby situation.

"But..." Sinjarite struggled to find words he knew how to say.

Phos was about to scold him again when he realized what he was looking at. He was looking at himself. The little Phos who loved his Sensei so much that he wanted to help. He didn’t want to do the job given to him that was small and out of the way, even if the others assured him it was helpful. He wanted to be close to the other gems, fighting with them, even if it was dangerous enough to kill him.

So Phos tried a different approach.

“Listen, Sinjarite, I love you more than anything and nothing will ever change that, okay? And you really are helping me back at the school. Do you know how relieving it is to come back and I don’t have to do any other work?” Phos chose to leave out the parts where the brown gem made a mess with Rutile's herbs or scattered the extra blankets around the school just for the fun of it.

Really?" Sinjarite sounded hopeful.

“Really. But putting yourself in danger isn’t helping either of us. The ice floes will always be here-I think. I kind of destroyed them all in a fit of rage today-so one day you’ll get your chance.”

“But...you leave.”

Phos’ heart sank. He wasn't just looking at himself, he was looking at Ruby too. The little red gem that didn't understand why he had to be alone. Sinjarite just wanted to spend time with Phos, time that Phos was going to take away without reason.

Life didn't give Sinjarite to Phos so he could replace himself, it gave Sinjarite to him so he'd learn to be kinder to himself.

"I changed my mind. I'm not leaving, okay?" Phos quickly reassured the young gem.

“No?” Sinjarite perked up almost immediately.

"No. Which means no need to go running headfirst into trouble!" Phos playfully ruffled Sinja's hair as he spoke, causing the gem to erupt into a fit of giggling. “I’ll always be here for you.”

“Pro..mise?”

“I promise, and more than that, I'll explain everything to you when you're older. Now let’s get you home. Having only half a leg won't do.”

Phos lifted the gem into his arms and handed Sinjarite the shovel and his own leg to carry back to school with them.

"Listen, after we get your leg fixed, I'm going to wake the other gems," Phos said as he eyed the broken wall of ice, wondering how he was going to clamber up it while holding a gem. He’d just have to take the long way around.

"Now?" Sinjarite sounded confused. All throughout winter, Phos had given him strict instructions to never wake the other gems until spring.

But things are going to be different now.

"Yeah. I have some very important things to tell them."

Sunlight filtered into the hibernation chamber for the first time in months, shining down on the group of sleeping gems within. Rather than being spread out across the blankets in their own spots like they usually were during hibernation, they were all huddled close together this time. Covered in abundant pillows and blankets Phos had provided over the days he spent taking care of them, out of a desire to make up for his absence in some way.

With slow, groggy movements, all of them stirred awake. Moissanite, as expected, was the first to rise, while Serandite was the last, needing some extra encouragement in the form of Bloodstone roughly shaking his shoulder to rouse him.

“It’s spring already?” came Ruby’s tired voice, followed by a massive yawn.

“We can pretend it isn't,” Mordenite said as he buried his head under a pillow. He had a large blanket wrapped around his hair, which was supposed to keep it from getting too messed up while he slept. “I don’t particularly want to be awake this year.”

“But that isn’t fair to Serandite!” Ruby pointed out. “He’s watching winter for us, if we sleep longer he'll have more work to do!”

“Then why is he lying right next to me?" Bloodstone's question was followed by him roughly poking the orange gem in the shoulder. "Serandite, please tell me you haven't been here this whole time.”

“Huh? no, I was out on the snow-”

“Guys.”

Moissanite’s voice hushed them all instantly. Whatever scolding they were going to give Serandite was forgotten in favor of the new presence the white gem had noticed sitting with them in the chamber. Only it wasn't new, it was Phos.

“Sensei?”

Every irrational part of Phos’ brain was telling him this was a bad idea. His mind kept flashing back to the memory of being in a cage and being surrounded by all the gems that would eventually shatter him without a second thought. That would bury him in the ground and leave him alone for years and years. But he reassured himself that it wasn't going to happen again.

Then he reassured himself again a few more times for extra measure.

“Why are you back?” Bloodstone’s voice, drenched in anger, broke the silence. "Aren't you done ruining our lives?"

Nobody tried to defend him from Bloodstone's harsh words this time, not even Ruby. The red gem looked torn on what to do, like he didn’t know whether he should run to greet Phos or stay right where he was. None of the gems knew how to feel about him anymore, not after how he handled the meeting, and especially not after his disappearing act.

"Answer me! Why did you come back?!"

“I came back to take care of winter for you all.” Phos blurted in a rush to defend himself. "I-I heard the ice floes and when I went to check them out, I found Serandite asleep in the snow."

"So?" The black gem spat and broke eye contact with Phos to briefly side eye Serandite, who mouthed a silent sorry.  "That doesn't mean anything. We'll just have someone else do it next time. We don't need you."

Moissanite didn't comment on the matter, he just sat there, petrified like stone, staring at Phos. He said nothing out loud but the look in his eyes was pleading "I need you." like the day he had broken apart.

Phos had run from Bloodstone's harsh words then, but he wouldn't run now. "Listen, I don’t expect any of you to forgive me, if you don't want me around anymore that's fine, but I hope you’ll let me explain why I ran. It’s something I should've told you a long time ago.”

Bloodstone didn't say anything more, his eyes still bore a hole into Phos, but he seemed like he was willing to listen.

So Phos started explaining. “My real name is Phosphophyllite, a gem of hardness 3.5, and while I really am the last gem left of my generation, it entirely wasn’t the Lunarians’ fault.”

Phos mentally braced himself for the next words he had to say. “I shattered them myself and left them for the Lunarians to take.”

A visible wave of shock rippled through the gems. They broke out into hushed whispers, casting worried looks at each other, all except for Moissanite who remained silent, but his face betrayed his horror.

“W-why would you do that?” Ruby asked him directly. Phos hated how afraid he sounded.

“I never meant to hurt them, I was just so…angry.” Phos said with a sigh. “They attacked me first to be fair, but, we'll get to that part later.”

Phos explained to them as best as he could about the Lunarians and their relation to humans. About how they needed Adamant to pray and without him, they would be left to wander for all eternity. About his younger days when he lost his legs and arms to the sea and then his journey to discover the truth. Shiro, the game pieces, the statue of the doctor and his trip to the moon. Aechmea, the gem restoration project, the night raid, and everything else that eventually led to his attack on earth.

He pointed to the eye. “After I ordered Adamant to break, this was all that is left of him. After I put it into my head, I experienced hallucinations. I would see things and hear voices that felt real, and I would need to sleep for long periods of time just to regain my energy from constantly dealing with it. As for the gems, they were all gone when I went to look for them. I wanted to put them back together, to tell them how I sorry I was, but it was too late.”

Phos then talked honestly about how he had lived his years in fear from then on. Why his mind had been so broken.

And why he wanted so badly for Moissanite to replace him.

“I felt so ashamed of myself, of how badly I messed up throughout the years that I put all my hope into you to take my place, Moi. I saw you as so perfect in comparison to me just by virtue of looking like a diamond, that I didn't see how badly you needed my help. But that day you broke, I saw the truth. That I was hurting you, and pushing myself away from you all wasn't helping in the slightest.

"I am so, so sorry to all of you, for not paying attention when I should've. I really am not cut out for this job, but that doesn't mean I didn't want you in my life. So, I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. If you want me gone, then I'll leave, and if you want me to stay, then I'll stay, and either way, I'll love you all until the day the sun eventually consumes us. Whatever you want from me, I'll do everything in my ability to help you."

With his speech over, there was nothing left but for Phos to wait with bated breath for their reaction. Their silence was deafening. Phos found himself keeping his eyes on the floor, still not having the courage to look at their faces. He was fully expecting them all to reject him, or for Bloodstone in particular to explode into fits of rage.

What he wasn't expecting was for Moissanite to wrap his arms around his shoulders and hug him tight.

"Of course, we want you around!" The white gem cried. "I never wanted you to leave in the first place!"

He carefully placed his hand on Moissanite's shoulder, not sure if he was worthy of hugging back.

"I can't believe you suffered like that for so long. Why didn't you tell us before? "

"I was ashamed, and I feared you would all reject me. But I had a change of perspective lately." Phos didn't mention the fake Cinnabar by name. It felt a little too personal to share the exact details of his hallucinations.

"I was always too scared to admit I needed help too." Moissanite nervously smiled. "I tried so hard to do things the way you wanted, but I never felt good enough on my own."

"You were always good enough. Always. Sometimes better than me and that's a fact. Which has me conflicted, because don't want you to be stuck with roles you don't want. I just want you to be happy now, but I also don't know what I'm doing, so I fear I'll only lead you all back into trouble."

"Sensei-I mean, Phos, I like being in charge, I really do! Keeping order is something I can do, but I just can't do it alone. I don't want to do it alone. So, let's not do it alone! Let's work together, okay?"

It felt so strange to hear his real name again after so long, but so wonderful all the same.

"Are you sure?" Phos asked. "We can figure something else out-"

"I'm sure." Moissanite wasted no time in cutting him off. "All I ever wanted was you to understand me."

"And you can have my help too!" Ruby came running over and practically crashed into their hug. Phos winced at the sound of his limbs clinking against Moissanite's. "I mean I have no idea how I'll help, but you're my family, so I'll do whatever I can!"

"Since when did you get so eager about responsibility?" Phos looked at the red gem with fondness in his heart. It seemed like all the gems had started to treat Moissanite nicer after he left. Which hurt, in a way, but it also pleased him to know they all truly cared for each other, and here they were, still trying to show him the same care.

"I would like that very much. Together."

Phos put both of his arms around the two gems and fully embraced them. It was no longer a question whether he deserved to hug them or not. At the sight of this, the other gems started to join in as well. Serandite and Mordenite shooting a knowing look at each other before throwing themselves into the embrace, sending the message that they also wanted him to stay. Phos had to extend his alloy just to hold them all.

Only Bloodstone remained, standing just out of reach with his expression sour.

"Bloodstone?" Phos had hoped he'd okay now, since he practically abolished patrols right in front of the black gem. But at the same time, he knew that wouldn't solve everything. It was entirely possible that Bloodstone wanted him to leave.
"Listen, I-"

"You mean it when you say you won't run off again?" Bloodstone asked, with a vulnerable look that Phos had never seen on him before.

Phos remembered that Bloodstone specifically had been the one to chase after him when he ran away. "I mean it. Never again. I'll stay right here, but I'll leave you alone if that's what you want."

Bloodstone remained where he was, and Phos was ready to accept he wouldn't join them, but then to his surprise, the black gem ran over to join the hug in the roughest Bloodstone-like way he could've. Phos was certain he heard something break as their foreheads collided on impact, but he didn't care at the moment.

He just focused on holding them all.

"You better make it up to me, and especially to Moissanite. But also, it's good to see you again, Sensei."

"I'll try, and I missed you too, Bloodstone."

Phos was content to sit with them like this forever.

"So, if you're back on winter duty, does that mean I'm out of a job?" Serandite asked with a muffled voice. He was getting squished by all the bodies on top of him and sinking into the alloy.

"Did you even have that job in the first place? You fell asleep." Mordenite lightly teased him.

"Actually, that's something else I want to discuss with you." Phos gently pushed them all out of the hug. He was reluctant to do so of course, but staying in that hug was making him not want to do anything else. He felt tears on his face but didn't feel like wiping them away as he addressed the gems.  "From now on, I want us all to enter hibernation early and wake up earlier as well. Before spring."

"Okay, I know you admitted that your brain is weird, but why?" Mordenite questioned him with a bit too much snark.

Moissanite shushed him but gave Phos a confused look of his own.

Phos couldn't keep himself from grinning back. "Because there's someone I want you to meet."

He called for Sinjarite, who had been standing just outside the chamber all this time waiting for Phos' cue. All throughout his earlier speech, Phos could see the brown gem peeking in through the blankets from time to time, but the other gems thankfully hadn't noticed. Their eyes had been too focused on him to spoil the surprise.

'"Everyone, this is Sinjarite! A new gem. We're going to wake up earlier from now on so he gets to spend some time with you all."

Sinjarite shyly emerged into the hibernation chamber with his wide eyes darting from gem to gem. He'd seen them all before, plenty of times, but he probably never thought he'd get a chance to actually speak to them.

"Hi," He greeted, voice barely above a whisper.

A heavy pause, and then the gems swarmed around him like butterflies on a blooming flower.

"No way, new sibling!"

"A gem was born this winter? Well, aren't you glad you took the winter off then, Moissanite?"

"Actually-"

"I'm not. What if I stayed awake? I'm not good at taking care of anything."

"We know, Serandite."

"C'mon, guys. Sorry, Sinja, but they're always this annoying so you'll have to get used to it."

Sinjarite didn't look bothered at all, maybe a bit overwhelmed by all the attention, but happy to have it at the same time. He practically bounced around from one gem to the other, getting proper introductions and trying his best to pronounce their names.

Everyone was smiling, nobody was breaking, except for that large crack on Bloodstone's forehead from the black gem practically smashing into Phos. But it was okay because it was something Phos could fix. The rest of the cracks in the gems would take more time to heal, but Phos was sure they would.

If the ice floes resurfaced next winter, it would find no fears left inside Phos at all.

Everyone on the moon, both gem and Lunarian alike, had gathered in a circle around Cinnabar's regenerating form. He looked shaken and was gasping desperately for air that didn't exist. It didn't help that Dian was shaking him by the shoulders.

The red gem had clearly been attacked by something on earth, and it had everyone pouring out their questions in a loud wall of noise that drowned out any chance the red gem might have to properly think or recover.

"What happened?"

"Did he attack you?"

"What did he say?!"

Antarc wasn't ashamed to admit he jabbed a few blows into sides with his elbows as he pushed through the crowd. He grabbed Dian, albeit gently, by his shirt and tugged him away from Cinnabar, and at the sight of this, everyone got the message to finally back up and give the red gem some space.

Antarc knelt down beside him and gently tapped his arm as Cinnabar continued wheezing. He must've breathed some of earth's air, which meant he successfully spoke to Phos. Anxiety buzzed around in Antarc's head and suddenly all those annoying questions from before were echoing around in his own mind, begging to be asked.

"You alright?" Was the only question that escaped.

Cinnabar nodded and finally calmed his breathing, and Antarc couldn't keep the rest in anymore. "And how is he?" He pressed, failing to keep his voice steady.

The red gem looked around at all the curious faces before letting out a wheezy laugh. His face a wild mix of emotions, but mostly relief.

"I think he's going to be just fine."

Chapter Text

“Talc!”

In the middle of the field, sticking out harshly against the tall grass, was a large golden cube, shining in the bright midday sun.

"I know you’re there!"

The cube shifted slightly, its golden surface shimmering, then it remained still.

“Talc!”

It shifted again, almost like a sigh, and began to change shape. Unraveling and melting all at once into a thick puddle of gold alloy, revealing a gem with long, fluffy pale green hair. The alloy slowly formed into the shapes of arms at their sides.

That gem was Talc, who wasn’t too fond of being woken up.

He made a point to stretch as slowly as possible, blinking wearily through the bright sun at the mystery figure standing over him.

“Sensei Phos was calling for you!” The voice belonged to Ametrine, a fellow gem whose hair was a pleasant blend of yellow and purple. He always patrolled out here in the afternoon and often broke away from said patrol to visit Talc.

“Huh? What did he want?” Talc asked after a yawn. He started idly picking out the bits of grass that stuck to his alloy arms.

“Dunno,” Ametrine replied with a small shrug. He stared at the ground in thought for a bit before his eyes widened. “Oh! Maybe…he’s finally found you a new job!”

With a quiet “hm,” Talc sat up and brushed the dust off of his vest. “No way.” He huffed.

“Aw, why not? You know, you have so much potential!”

“Oh, trust me, I'm well aware of my potential. What about your potential?" Talc pointed at Ametrine with an accusing finger.

“Ametrine!” A third voice called out. It belonged to Ametrine’s teal-haired partner, Turquoise, who was standing guard several feet away. “Are you done over there? We still haven’t patrolled the south yet!”

"In a minute!” Ametrine called back before turning back to Talc with one brow raised. "What about my potential?"

“You know, the way you waste it staring up at the empty sky all day?”

Ametrine could do whatever job or pursue any hobby he wanted, yet he bafflingly chose to be one of only two gems in the entire school who still did daily patrols.

“Shh, don’t be like that!” Ametrine lowered his voice and urged Talc to do the same, even though both of them were well out of Turqouise’s range of hearing. “You know it helps with Turquoise’s nerves. We don’t know how long it’s going to take for him to adjust. Sensei Phos said it could take hundreds of years!”

“But, don’t you get, you know, bored?” Talc glanced over at Turquoise, who was looking around at the sky nervously. Too shy to come over and join the conversation, but also too scared to wander off by himself. He was an odd case for sure.

Although he was mentally about the same age as Ametrine, Turquoise was an old gem, even older than Sensei Phos. Talc remembered the day when Rhyolite had found Turquoise in pieces buried deep beneath the sand on the beach while trying to dig the “biggest hole anyone’s ever seen”.

It didn’t take long for everyone to realize from his behavior what had happened to him. The unfortunate gem had probably been buried during a storm and left there for years, and was now surrounded by strange gems he didn’t recognize, with no one else but Sensei Phos who remembered what Lunarian attacks were like.

He was lucky he caught the attention of Ametrine, who, despite his youth, was a natural big brother figure to everyone. Without Ametrine, Turquoise probably wouldn’t have a partner at all.

At least not one that would be so happy about it.

"Oh, I don't get bored,” Ametrine said with a kind smile. “Turquoise is a nice gem to hang out with if you’d give him a chance. Besides, I think it makes Sensei Phos happy to know he's not alone out here, and that’s really all I need."

“Ametrine!” Turquoise called again, a little more urgently.

“Okay, alright, I'm coming!” Ametrine turned to leave, giving Talc a cheeky grin over his shoulder. “Well don’t just stand there, Sensei Phos is waiting for you! I’ll meet you there later so you can tell me all about it!"

Ametrine joined back up with Turquoise and after a brief conversation that Talc couldn't hear, the two gems ran off towards the south end of the land.

“You people and your busy lives.” He muttered to himself as he watched them leave.

Talc picked himself up off the ground and began his trek to the school, Ametrine’s words ringing in his head.

“You know, you have so much potential!”

Ugh.

Talc was 300 years old, and despite that, was the only one in the school without a job, or even a hobby to call his own. Unless you counted the Orange Bort twins, which Talc didn’t, because they were both too young to be trusted with any work yet anyway.

It’s not like Talc was terrible at anything, quite the opposite in fact, Talc excelled at most of them thanks to his dependable alloy arms. Ever since he got them, his fellow gems have been eager to take him in as an assistant or partner and test the limits of his abilities.

The problem was that he didn’t enjoy any of them.

Medicine, Tailoring, Crafting, Strategy, among other things, he tried almost everything he could think of, and not a single one stuck. He grew bored of gardening. His artwork and sculptures always looked like unflattering blobs, and he didn’t have the smarts to come up with new strategy games.

It was such a drain. His alloy should've made him special, and yet, he wasn't special at all.

Sensei Phos always insisted that Talc didn’t need to be special and that he still had plenty of time to find something he liked, but having nothing else to do but sleep out in the fields left Talc feeling awfully empty inside. He yearned to have a purpose. Something that only he could do.

Even the twins, as jobless as they were, had a purpose in life! Sure, it was to cause as much mischief and chaos as possible, but at least it was something.

Talc didn’t know what he wanted to do.

He thought again about what Ametrine said. Has Sensei Phos really found him a job?

Sensei Phos had never done something like that for Talc before. He was a firm believer in letting the gems find what they wanted to do all by themselves, while he maybe offered advice on the side. If he really found a job specifically for Talc, it must be something truly special, right?

Talc could hope, at least.

There was no place on the Land more beautiful than the school grounds. It was surrounded by sprawling gardens of wildflowers and rows of young trees, with small windmills, kites, and other decorations dotted throughout to help bring the place to life. And nearly everywhere you looked was met with the shining light of a gem.

The school was home to well over 40 of them by now, and nearly everyone was busy outside while the sun was at its highest and brightest.

Talc caught sight of Serandite, sleeping partly under the shade of a tree with one arm draped over his face, most likely getting as much sun as he could before nightfall. Near him, working hard at tending to the gardens, was Chrysanthemum, draped in flower crowns from head to toe. He was known for having the sweetest appearance, but the meanest attitude if you trampled the flowers. He could butt heads even with the likes of the Orange Bort twins.

And speaking of the twins, Talc could see two orange-haired figures darting between the rows of flowers, each with a large kite trailing behind them.

They were known individually as Thirty-Three and Eighty-Four, and were easily the most dangerous gems in the whole school, at least in terms of collateral damage. They were the highest on the Mohs scale at 10 each, and they loved nothing more than to run about and play rough, often risking crashing into an unlucky gem along the way.

Diaspore banned them from running around inside the school for this very reason.

"Hi Talc!"
“Hey Talc!”

Even though they had slowed down to a walking speed as they approached him, Talc still instinctively flinched when he heard them say his name.

“You were out in the fields again, weren’t you? Was it really windy?” Eighty-Four asked him eagerly.

“Yeah, I guess,” Talc replied, trying his best to sound bored and uninterested so they wouldn’t try to invite him along.

"Cooool, thanks!" They chimed in unison and ran off behind Talc, still carrying their kites.

Talc sighed in relief so hard he practically deflated.

As he approached the school's entrance, Talc could see Tourmaline and Aquamarine sitting right outside it, both with an easel in front of them. They were probably painting the landscape. Talc caught a glimpse at their canvases as he walked by and realized they were actually just painting each other.

Taaffeite and Azurite were huddled together in the entrance, probably sharing some sort of gossip about the other gems as they laughed. Talc kept his head down as he passed them, not wanting to get caught up in their nonsense. Thankfully they seemed too preoccupied with poking fun at the artists outside to notice him.

Before going any further, Talc decided to stop by the large jellyfish pond in front of the school to check his reflection. Considering it was rare to have a personal summoning from Sensei Phos, it would be a crime to not look his best.

He stared blankly at the tired-looking green gem in the reflection. He still had bits of grass stuck in his hair somehow. As he grumpily tried to fix the mess, Talc could hear a pair of gems approaching from the hall, idly chatting with each other. He recognized both of their voices immediately.

Secretary Diaspore and the school president, Moissanite. The two gems responsible for running the school alongside Sensei Phos.

"Oh, Talc, there you are! Sensei Phos was asking for you, where have you been?" Diaspore hurried over to Talc's side and started shaking him by his shoulder. “You shouldn’t keep him waiting! How is he going to get anything done if he’s stuck waiting for you?”

Talc’s hands gripped the edge of the pool in hopes of stabilizing himself against the aggressive shaking. Thankfully for him, Moissanite helped by putting a firm hand on his other shoulder.

“If he was late, Sensei Phos would've come down looking for him already.” Moissanite sounded exasperated. "You look great by the way, Talc."

“U-uh, thanks?” Talc stammered

He was just grateful that the school was casting a shadow over this part of the pond, or else Diaspore probably would've thrown him in it for daring to idle about.

Whenever Diaspore was exposed to direct sunlight, his green hair changed color to a sharp red, and along with it, his personality changed as well. Loud and easy to anger, Red Diaspore threw all diplomacy out the window and was quick to get into fights with the other gems no matter their rank.

But in the shade of the school, regular Diaspore was as helpful and attentive as anyone could hope to be, just a bit too obsessive for Talc’s liking.

“Which could happen at any minute!” Diaspore insisted. He abandoned shaking Talc’s arm in favor of pacing back and forth. “He’ll come down looking. And who knows where he’d find Talc because the school is huge!”

“I’m literally right here.”

"You overthink too much," Moissanite said, shaking his head with a small smile on his face.

“I don't overthink! It's called being prepared for possible scenarios! Now where was I? Oh, right, and after he finds Talc, he’ll have to go alllll the way back up and-”

Talc decided now was a good time to slip away from the two gems and rush towards the stairs as quickly as he could.

Talc passed by several more gems as he made his way up to Sensei Phos’ room. He neatly dodged Mordenite as the blue and white gem ran down the stairs with his arms so full of materials that he could barely see where he was going. Mordenite was followed closely by Rainbow Moonstone, his favorite model and muse, wearing a brand-new outfit that was almost too shiny to look at.

The next gems that followed were all part of the school’s construction crew. Flint and Barite, talking together about something involving shelf placements, and after that was Red Zircon who was slowly trying to wheel down a cart full of worn-out tools.

Almost all the sleeping rooms on the second floor had been taken, resulting in the third floor going under construction to convert all the unused storage space into more rooms.

That's where Talc lived, and you'd think it'd be quieter than the rest of the school, but between all the ongoing work and having to share the floor with gems like the twins and Calomel, it was anything but.

Maybe if Sensei Phos didn’t have anything important to discuss, he could ask about being moved to the second floor.

Talc reached the entrance to Phos’ room and hesitated just outside, spending maybe a bit too long smoothing out the wrinkles in his vest. He didn't know why he was so nervous. It could be absolutely nothing! Nothing at all! Maybe Sensei Phos just wanted to reschedule some of his classes.

Or maybe…

There was no telling.

Talc took a deep breath and then headed inside. He immediately caught sight of a tall, imposing figure in a white robe at the opposite end of the room, standing by his desk in front of the large window and looking out at the school below.

"You called, Sensei?" he asked the figure.

The older gem turned to meet Talc and his face lit up with a smile, and Talc couldn't help but smile back, just a bit.

Sensei Phos, the school's oldest teacher and the only gem in the world that was anything like Talc. His entire body was covered in golden amalgam from head to toe, with long strands of the amalgam on his head forming into the shape of wild hair. His ruby eye was the only visible sign that he was even a gem at all.

"Hello Talc," Phos greeted him warmly. His gaze drifted down to Talc's arms and his smile fell. "How is the alloy holding up?"

Talc lifted one arm and gave it a look-over, mostly for show. "Same as always, Sensei." He said.

This answer didn’t seem to be enough for Phos, who walked over and gently took the same arm in his hands and gave it a quick inspection of his own.

It took a lot of self-control for Talc to refrain from pulling his arm back. He already went in for checkups at Pink Sapphire’s office every week and yet Phos was still always asking him about the alloy.

Talc wondered if the constant questions were because Sensei Phos felt guilty over having to attach it to him at all.

Not that he had any other choice.

Talc was a hardness of 1. The lowest in history. All it took was a trip over a rock or even just hitting the ground too hard with his own feet after a big jump to completely break his body apart. Before he had the alloy, he'd often get stuck outside, in pieces in the grass waiting for someone to find him and bring him back to safety. Sure, there hadn’t been any Lunarians waiting to snatch him up or anything, but it still made Talc miserable every single time it happened.

At one point, he had almost single-handedly caused a shortage of the glue needed to repair the other gems, and it was a great cause for concern with so many others of low hardness running around, especially Calomel, who couldn’t afford to be broken.

The first solution came when Ruby had crafted Talc a chair with large wooden wheels at the sides, so he could be safely transported around the school by the other gems without fear of losing his limbs.

But even then, he had only a few carved paths around the Land meant for wooden carts to traverse on. Sensei Phos had promised they’d pave more soon enough, but Talc still needed someone willing to push him around, as even pushing his wheels himself could cause his arms to snap in half.

It was usually Sensei Phos who would take him outside in the sun, and it was he who noticed how miserable Talc still was, and offered him a risky new solution: replace Talc's arms with gold alloy just like Phos’, while he was still young enough to not lose a lot of his memories. The main pull was that, in theory, the alloy would help him stay together, and with it, he could even repair himself in a pinch. Talc hadn’t hesitated to say yes.

For years, the alloy was only a hindrance, the intense weight of the alloy caused his legs to crumble just from standing, and he still had to use his chair to get around. He couldn’t even move his arms at first, and they remained useless gold sticks by his side. But one year, after so many months of concentration, he found himself able to move them, and from there he could form them into proper arms. He could move his wheels by himself without problem, and soon enough, he was walking too.

It had come with its downsides, but there was no way Talc would ever choose to go back on his decision.

"Did you really only call me here to check on my arms?" Talc asked, unable to keep the annoyed tone out of his voice. “I had a real nice spot outside.”

"Oh, no, no." Sensei Phos said quickly, dropping his arm. "I have something for you! A request, specifically. Your arm’s fine by the way."

A small spark of hope flared in Talc's chest. “What kind of request? A…job request?”

The clear excitement on Phos’ face gave Talc the answer.

"Yes! I think I’ve finally found one you’ll like." He picked something up off his desk and gave it a fond look before handing it to Talc.

It was a large clipboard full of blank pages. Talc could only squint at it in confusion and ponder internally whether or not to fake a smile.

Was this Sensei Phos' way of telling him to get back into writing?

"Uhh," Talc awkwardly tapped his fingers against the clipboard and looked to the older gem for an explanation.

“It's for you!” He said cheerily.

“And...what do I use it for?”

“Oh,” Phos jolted as if he genuinely forgot he needed to give context. “You’ve been asked to help write the ocean section of the encyclopedia.”

“The encyclopedia? Isn’t that-”

"I'm here!" A new voice suddenly chimed in from across the room.

Calomel’s job. Talc froze. He'd recognize that high-pitched voice anywhere, and it filled him with dread. Calomel, the author of the encyclopedia, the deadliest gem in the whole school, and the most annoying gem in the whole school.

The last gem on the planet he'd ever want to work with.

Calomel was hurrying through the room towards them, carrying with him a lot of clipboards similar to Talc’s that were no doubt part of his research for the encyclopedia. He wore a simple white shirt, with thick field boots and a pair of even thicker goggles on the top of his head, and floating next to his shoulders at all times, were several blobs of mercury.

Every so often he'd have to skid to a halt to catch a loose paper as it fluttered out of his hands.

"Sooo sorry I'm late, I thought I found this amazing new snail species and just had to stop to get a look, but it was just somebody painting their shells again,” The orange-haired gem talked between gasps as he ran.

"I swore I told Aquamarine to stop doing that." Sensei Phos sighed to himself.

"So, what, you want me to take over for him?" Talc asked Phos as he watched another bunch of papers hit the floor.

It didn't take much to imagine what Calomel's clumsy self might do that was worthy of being replaced. Talc could already picture at least ten different scenarios, most of them involving some of the research being lost or accidentally destroyed.

"What? No!" Phos sounded quite offended that Talc would even suggest that. "You'd be Calomel’s partner in helping finish the encyclopedia."

“But why exactly?”

“Ooh, let me tell him, Sensei!” Calomel suddenly dropped all the research on Phos' desk with a loud slam, making Talc jump.

Calomel quickly gathered all the loose pages together in one semi-neat stack, then backed up to face Talc while practically bouncing on his heels with excitement. He flashed Talc a huge, friendly grin and offered up one of his gloved hands for a handshake.

The gloves, like many other parts of his outfit, were made of thick material to help prevent mercury leaking.

“Hi, by the way! You remember me right? We’ve barely talked but it’s okay because I know so much about you! I mean it’s kinda hard not to, almost everyone has worked with you and you’re the only other gem with alloy besides Sensei so you’re kinda big news-”

Calomel rambled on and on, keeping his hand outstretched the whole while.

Talc decidedly refrained from shaking it.

In all of his years of life, Talc had avoided interacting with the orange gem as much as possible, with the reason why being clear to anyone with half a working brain.

“Psst!” He loudly whispered to Sensei Phos. “You can't be serious, right? Me? With him?"

Calomel was thankfully still too knee-deep in his decade-long speech to notice that nobody was paying attention to him anymore.

"Talc," Sensei Phos’ eyes narrowed, his tone suddenly dead serious. "Calomel is of no danger to you if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Ehh, it’s not that,” Talc eyed the floating globs of mercury near Calomel’s shoulders. Worried? No. Nervous, maybe? But that wasn't the main problem. The main problem was that Calomel was annoying. And loud, and dumb, and clumsy, and obnoxious, and probably every other synonym for “unbearable” out there.

"I taught him everything I could on how to control it and we've taken every safety measure I could think of," Phos continued, oblivious to any of Talc’s real concerns. “He might’ve caused a bit of trouble before but he’s come a long way since then.”

“It's true!” Calomel suddenly joined the conversation again. “Sensei has taught me so much! I haven’t had an incident in a hundred years, you know!”

Talc distinctly remembered the last incident. It took them forever to drain and refill the jellyfish pond.

"Then if that's the case, why can't you finish this thing by yourself? Why do you need my help?" Talc indignantly tossed the empty clipboard back onto the desk.

Part of him already knew the answer: it was because of his alloy.

But how his alloy was supposed to help with the study of plants and animals? Maybe Calomel wanted him to use his ability to stretch it out for catching difficult creatures? If you asked Talc, it would be better to just have Ruby put together some silk nets with longer handles.

Calomel's eyes nervously darted back and forth between Talc and the discarded clipboard as if he just now realized how not onboard Talc was about the whole thing.

Talc just crossed his arms and stared right back, and it was left to Sensei Phos to try and ease the tension. “Calomel, why don’t you go ahead and explain why he’s here?”

Calomel perked up, almost instantly going back into his usual wordy self. "Well, you heard Sensei Phos, I’m supposed to start work on the aquatic life section of the encyclopedia, but I ran into a problem early on. Being that I can't exactly go in the water. We all know what happens when I do. Heh heh.."

He forced an awkward laugh but looked uncomfortable about the memory. "And most gems aren't allowed far into the ocean without a dependable partner, so it's been difficult for me to find someone, but you..” Calomel cast a longing look at Talc's arms. “You're perfect!”

Talc wanted to sink into the floor.

It was true that none of the low-hardness gems were allowed into the ocean without someone nearby who could help in case anything went wrong. That was one of Sensei Phos’ longest-standing rules and practically his only rule. He always spoke of how dangerous it was out there. How fragments of your body could be swept away and lost forever in mere seconds.

This indeed made Talc, whose alloy kept him together like glue, the most suitable low Mohs gem for the task of going in alone.

But still, that was only in the case of low-hardness gems. Maybe Talc could still buy his way out of this..

"You know, there’s a lot of us with high hardness out there, why weren’t any of them your first thought? Ever heard of Chrysoberyl? Emerald? Aquamarine?"

“Talc. Please don’t be rude.” Sensei Phos warned.

"Oh, I mean, I could ask them! But everyone is always too busy, or they didn’t want to do it at all, or..” Calomel trailed off for a moment, looking downcast.

Or you're too annoying, perhaps?

“..besides, you’re the best fit for it anyway! I-in my opinion that is.”

Talc, now running out of options, turned to Sensei Phos for help. “Are you sure you want to approve all this?”

“I do! Although not without some precautions,” Sensei Phos said. “I will be there to observe your first few days of work, and you will only be allowed out on calm days. No going out during storms.”

So even Sensei Phos' natural protectiveness couldn't help him get out of this one.

"Please, Talc? You're the only one who can do it, and Sensei Phos will only approve of this if you’re with me." Calomel begged with his gloved hands clasped together.

I'm the only one...way to put unnecessary pressure on me.

“What’s even the point though?' Talc asked, with a bit too much pessimism. "The encyclopedia is for things we can actually see or use. Most of us are never going to interact with anything that’s out there, why bother including them?”

Calomel was starting to look hurt. "Talc, all sea life is still important to our world! They deserve to be recorded just like anything else."

“Do they really, though?”

“I’m starting to think you just want an excuse to not help me.”

“Maybe I do.”

"Talc."

Try as he might, Talc couldn't keep up his cool and unbothered appearance when under Phos’ angry stare.

"Please try to be kind. You are not being forced to do this. It's only an offer.” Phos said, sounding calm despite his obvious disapproval of Talc 's behavior.

Caught between his stern Sensei and the very dejected-looking Calomel, Talc was bit afraid to outright say no. So all he could do was sigh in defeat. “Can I think about it at least?”

“Hm,” The older gem thought for a second. “Alright, I’ll give you until tomorrow night to decide then.”

Talc spluttered. “Only a day? What’s the rush for?”

Sensei Phos just shrugged in response. “Calomel insisted it was time-sensitive and would prefer to find a partner as soon as possible.”

“And you let him?” What is with this guy? Imagine being this pushy about finding a partner when most of the gems don’t want to be around you anyway!

“I did. I'll let everyone know that you'll be taking the day off tomorrow from any work or classes so you have more time to think.”

“Oh, like that will help.”

Sensei Phos stared at him in silence for a long moment and Talc thought for sure he was going to get in trouble again.

"You are free to go," Was all he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Sensei Phos then turned his attention to Calomel, his voice softening immediately. "Calomel, are these for me to review?"

He gestured towards the tall stack of papers still on the desk.

"Oh, yes, Sensei! Well most of them, I'm still working on these, let me just-” Calomel carefully picked out a few papers from the stack. “-take these. I’m excited for you to see it, the updated plant section should be all finished by now!”

“I’m sure it’s incredible work as always,” Phos gently patted Calomel on the top of his head. “Run along now.”

“Thank you, Sensei,” Calomel wore a shy smile as he bowed in respect. Before turning to leave, the orange gem gave one last hopeful look to Talc. "U-um, It'll be fun, you know, if you decide to do it with me. Which I hope you will! So, uh, see you tomorrow!"

He bowed again, a little smaller this time, then tucked his papers under his arm and quickly left the room.

Talc watched him go with a strange mix of relief and emptiness in his chest.

This was something only I could do.

That's what I wanted, isn't it?

He quickly dismissed the thoughts.

Talc was about to follow the orange gem out of the room when he heard Sensei Phos speak, stopping him in his tracks.

"Talc? A moment?"

Talc internally groaned. Sensei Phos was probably going to ask him to apologize for how he acted earlier or ask that he be nicer next time, or some other thing he didn’t want to do. He turned on his heel to face Phos and felt his whole body droop. "Yeah?"

"I just want you to know that I didn't actually pick this job for you. Calomel was the one who asked for you specifically."

"Yeah, I figured that out pretty quickly, it’s because of the alloy,” Talc would be more surprised at this point if Calomel hadn’t been the one to ask.

"Well, yes but, it's not just that." Sensei Phos said, not elaborating further much to Talc’s annoyance.

Instead, the older gem stared at the paperwork left on the desk, lost in thought.

“You know, he was in a similar position as you when he was younger. Didn't know what he wanted to do, or even where he would fit in. His poison held him back just like your hardness level did once. I was puzzled for a long time on how I could help, but then, one day, I remembered when I was your age, and how I went through the same troubles. My own Sensei had offered the Encyclopedia job to me, and that memory is where I got the idea to give it to Calomel.”

And now you're trying to give it to me.

"So, what happens if I say no? Are you going to be mad?" Talc asked. "Or, disappointed?"

"Not at all," Phos said. "But I really hope you'll consider it. I have a good feeling about you two."