Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Spamton let out a groan as he stretched his stiff joints. Sleeping in a trashcan sure makes your body hurt in ways you never thought possible. He felt particularly chipper today, feeling like he could probably try to take a crack at another deal. First he just needed to see what trash- wears he would try to sell.

He had the old bowties, his best treasure from the Queen's garbage. That was sure to sell if he put on his BEST salesman smile. A good smile can sell pretty much anything.
But he also had this old cane he found just recently (or maybe it was just a stick?) That he's sure someone out there could use. Maybe he could make them need it too… nah. Too far.
And of course he had a knife that was broken in half, giving the tip some extra points at the cost of lessened length. Maybe he could spin it and say it provided more stabbing potential or-

As he was deliberating in his bed of filth, he took notice of the noise happening outside. It sounded like a pair of voices. Two if he was to take a guess. Perfect! Customers already! Usually Spamton would prefer to make single deals, but hey, he was willing to sell to both of them.

With a practiced shove, he slammed the trash can lid open loudly, causing the two individuals to gasp in shock. That was when he decided to make his entrance, head rising up from inside the garbage mound and revealing the large, award losing smile.

"HELL [Valud cust0mer] IT'S YOUR [local spa locations near] SALESMEN! SPAMTON G. SP-" before the tiny darkener had even finished his speal, the two darkeners in front of the dumpster looked at eachother panicked and started shout-whispering.

"DAMMIT! It's that trash man!"

"Let's scram!"

"But what about-"

"FORGET THE GOODS! This guy is bad news!"

They both hissed back and forth quickly before they went running for the hills, leaving some sort of blanket behind, as they booked it out of that alleyway. Spamton put his hands to his hips indignantly and shook his head vigorously, so much so that it started glitching before he stopped. "SOME JUST DON'T [SEEKING WISDOM] HOW TO TR34T AN [Honest Businessman] NOW A DAY" he sighed and leapt out of the dumpster, deciding it was too late to do his usual wallowing after waking up.

His eyes slowly crept towards the piece of cloth that the two had so unceremoniously dumped on the ground. Couldn't even put their trash in the Dumpster. What barbarians. Now time for Spamton to loot said trash!
It did look like there was something more in there than just more blanket, so maybe it was supposed to be some sort of bindle. Either way, Spamton wasn't picky! Maybe there would be something valuable in it. Or even better, EDIBLE!

But his excitement quickly seized as he could have SWORN that he saw movement coming from that pile of fabric. He froze in his tracks and waited to see if it would happen again. Maybe it was just his imagination. After all, he didn't hold his own mental health very-
Then there it was, another shift of the blanket, clear as day, right before his eyes. What could two suspicious types be trying to smuggle that moved??? A bunch of Maus? Cell phones? Well, whatever it was, it sure made him consider if he was willing to take the risk to investigate.
Oh who was he kidding? Of course he was!

But, at the very least, he decided to call out first, "H3Y [unidentified object]!!1 ARE YO U [High Market Value]?!"
There was no further response from the lump, remaining still this time. This unnerved him even more, enough to make him approach faster. He was worried, but his terminal curiosity was much louder and he finally reached the cloth, now laying by his feet.
"HEY HEY [Heyheyheyhe-], IS THAAAATTT HOW U TREAT [Number 1 Rated Salesman 1997]?" He said and lightly nudged at the clump with his foot, stalling the inevitable of revealing the mystery.
Finally, with no further reaction, he let out a sigh and crouched down, carefully unwrapping the goods.

Time seemed to freeze.

So did Spamton, his code running cold in his body.

Right there, swaddled in dirty rags, was a baby. Not just ANY baby. It wasn't a Plugboy or Virovirokun. It was… a human. A LIGHTENER. Of all the possible things it could have been, it had to be the most absurd thing possible.

As soon as his body fawed from its frozen state, Spamton let out a garbled mess of glitches and screams, stumbling backwards from shock. Unsurprisingly, he tripped over himself and fell on his side with a grunt of pain.

He felt dizzy. He was glitching out. He was so suddenly overwhelmed that it took him a moment to collect himself and stop the dial-up sound his brain was making.
Ok! Ok Spamton. Calm down. Stop being a mess. You have to act. Now. But what the hell was HE supposed to do with a literal INFANT?!? He was not about to start a business of human trafficking! He had STANDARDS! Low standards, sure. BUT STILL!
Maybe the best thing to do was check on the baby. To see if it was ok. Or even ALIVE to begin with! So he shakily carried himself over to the quiet bundle, checking on the little thing's health.

Oh wow! 3 HP?! This rugrat was practically at death's doorstep! And looking at its body, it was in a pretty rough state physically as well. Face turning a greyish pale and frequent bruises littering it as well. It must be injured and malnourished. Makes sense. Those two darkeners from earlier sure were sketchy, so he doubts they fed the fragile little creature. All this considered, it couldn't have been too long since they arrived. He refused to believe it could survive long on its own. It was weak. No body strength, can barely think, and its soul is so small and frail.

"Wait. Spamton. This is perfect" a voice spoke in the back of his head. God damn it. It's Mike again. Can't he just use the phone like he did before he-
"WWWAT D0 YOU [desire more in life]? NOW I S [not enough] THHE THE [Look at the time!]" Spamton groaned, annoyed as stared off to the side, as if he'd find Mike standing right there next to him. Of course he wasn't.

"What a lousy businessman you are, not able to recognise a great deal right under your long, pointy nose"

Spamton was more annoyed at his sassy remark. What was he even on about? "WH4T [Deal!!!]?"

"This child is a lightener. With a soul. You know what that means, right? It means we're one step closer to our goal."

He stiffened as he heard those words. His goal? Like… The robot? Neo?

"Yes. To properly use that body in the basement, you need a soul. A lightener soul. And would you look at that, you have been served one on a silver blanket"

His eyes slowly trailed back down onto the baby in front of him, its soul dimly glowing as it hovered weakly over it. Mike was right. How he was just given a blessing from the heavens so he could fulfill his purpose.
It's just… there. For him to just take. It was truly a gift from the universe.

"Yes. You understand now, don't you? All of your work is finally paying off. Right here, right now."

He could have cried from joy. His slaving away was finally over! He was going to get the soul he needed to ultimately become big. Truly big! A real BIG SHOT! He'd become Neo!

"That's right. You'll be The Big Shot. So no more need to delay. Go ahead. Take the soul."

It was so simple, so easy. It was right there. Right! There! All he had to do was… reach out…and grab it. He wasn't sure why he had been hesitating for so long. It really was just that easy.

"You will get your freedom."

He will finally be free! All his struggles, suffering and sacrifices. It has led up to this moment. He'll be Neo. He'll be big. He'll be free.

"All you have to do…"

He just had to reach out and…

"...Kill the baby"

Spamton's fingers suddenly retreated with a harsh jolt, his blank expression flushing with realization as he heard Mike's words. "WH…[what]?"

"Just one quick attack and it all will be yours. It's all so simple"

"H- H -[Hold the phone!], I I I I I DON'T TH1NK-"

"Why the hesitation, Spamton? It's just a child, a toddler. It won't even fight back. I mean look at it, it's barely holding on to life as is."

"THAT'S.. . L3T'S [Just five easy payments of] [Endless Imagination.mp3] AB OUT TH1S-"

"It will be so easy. In fact, it would be Mercy to put it out of its suffering. Like a service. Paid for with its soul."

"ST0PP!"

"It's now or never, Spamton. Now's your chance to be a BIG SHOT!"

"[ShutUpShutUpShutUpShutUpShutUpShutUpShutUpShutUp] STOP TALKING!!!"

And just like that, the world around Spamton suddenly became clear, the static he didn't realize was filling his vision being blinked away in a second. He was gripping his hair, hunched over and breathing harshly.
Right. He was in an alleyway, talking to himself, sitting on the ground, in front of a baby. He got so wrapped up with the voice in his head that he almost forgot what was happening.

He got snapped out of his daze by the sound of weak crying. His attention was drawn to the kid in front of him, seeing they had woken up at last. They were whining softly, unable to muster up any more energy to cry louder in their current state. It made the salesman feel… something in his chest.
He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he felt pity for the little lightener. They were helpless. They couldn't do anything to save themselves from the harsh clutches of death. It…reminded him of whenever he feels helpless.

Carefully, as gently as he could, Spamton picked the baby up into his arms, wrapping their body back up. He worried that any small movement would reduce their HP to zero. He didn't want to hurt them any further.
"SHHHHH. HEYYYY N0OW [Minor must be accompanied]. DON'T [Cry out into the void]. IT' S [ok]" he tried to comfort them, slowly rocking back and forth on the ground. Whether that was to calm down the kid or himself, he wasn't entirely sure of. But it didn't help much, as they just kept whining and hiccuping miserably.

"IT'S GO NA BE [ok]. ILL GET U [into tip top condition in no time flat]" he kept trying to reassure the baby as he thought it was best to get this kid healed up. So he made a tiny version of himself with angel wings and a halo appear above them. The baby sniffled softly as they stared at the little Spamton looking down at them. He reached out a hand and gave their head a couple of careful, affectionate pats on the head, continuing to stroke their forehead until their HP had recovered fully.

Spamton sighed in relief, watching their eyes gain a sparkle of life and energy. Angel Spamton also looked satisfied with his work, pulling back his hand. That caused the child to tear up again and make that big grimace that people make before they start bawling their eyes out. In a panic, the little angel flailed around aimlessly before he flew back down and gave their cheek a caring nuzzle.
To normal sized Spamton's shock, that made the baby calm back down again, stubby hands wrapping around little Spamton as they mumbled nonsensically. He watched the kid in his arms as they got comfortable enough to drift off into sleep. He briefly considered despawning the angel him, but quickly shut that right down.

It was weird to him, that someone was looking so peaceful while within his vicinity. He's loud, annoying, off-putting and smells like literal trash. Anyone else would be running for the hills, try to squash him like a bug or start crying. Yes, he's actually caused someone to burst into tears.
But this lightener was completely content to rest in his arms, even cuddling with something that resembles his unsettling self. Maybe it was because they were a baby that didn't have the ability of comprehension. Or maybe it was because he healed them and they didn't want to die, so decided to stay.

…
… Maybe the reason didn't matter. They were safe and sound now, and that's all that matters.

No! What was he thinking?! Of course they're not safe with him! He doesn't have a home, lives in filth and frequently has to fight Maus and Poppups for the half-eaten CD bagels he finds in the trash. He is far from kid-friendly. He is a danger to anyone of any age! No no no. This won't do. He MUST find a safe place for this kid. With someone that can care for them.

Spamton starts to consider the options he has. Does he know anyone who knows how to care for a living being? First thing his mind wandered to was…them. Sure, they were awful backstabbers, but they're Addisons. Addisons live to serve, right? Surely they would have some sort of childcare knowledge.
… Considering this option conjures up an image in his mind of a lone baby, crying out for the arms of a caretaker. But they all just stand there, backs turned to the wailing child and smiling those permanent smiles.

He shakes his head and tries to force that thought out of his mind. No. Not them. They don't have a caring line of code in their bodies.
He then tries to think if there's a good, comfortable, safe place for them anywhere in Cyber City. The only place he knows of is the mansion. Maybe, if he were to leave them at the Queen's doorstep, she'd take a liking to the cute little thing and take them in as at least a pet or something. No way she'd be a mother figure.
Then he tries to imagine how that would play out. He sees Queen picking them up, holding them at a distance with a frown on here face. "Ugh! Why is this human so small? And why is it being so loud?" She complains. "And it stinks too! Not pog! Taskmanager!" She calls for the feline, handing over the baby to her. "Would you be a sweetie honey gravy and throw this in the acid river? I wanna see how small this human can get lol" she orders, letting out that ruthless regal laughter of hers.

"NO!!!" He suddenly shouts at the idea that he himself had brought up. But he snapped his jaw shut right after, remembering he's holding a sleeping infant. Though luckily, they seem to be sound asleep still. He sighs in relief and gently rocks them.
No, Queen would probably do something dumb like that. Or she'd just ask Swatch to toss them out in th-

"WAIT. [Swatch]!" Oh right! Spamton completely forgot about Swatch! They were sure to know how to care for a child, being a butler and all. Though they do dislike dirty, loud and annoying things and kids are all of the above.
But Spamton knows them a little better than that. They are soft. Very soft. One cute sound or sweet little gesture and Swatch would be a mumbling mess. They would surely take them in without hesitation.

Perfect! He had a place! Now all he needed to do was make a plan for this operation. He'd need to be careful. Breaking into the mansion isn't easy. And a lot is at stake this time.

Spamton looked down at the lightener, who was now lightly running their fingers through the feathers on Angel Spamton's back. He gave them a small, genuine smile before getting up off the ground.

"LET'S GET Y TO MY [Homemade storefront] FOR SO ME [Leftovers]. YOU CAN ST4Y W/ [your ol' pal Spamton] UNTIL 1 CAN GET YO U TOO SWATCH" he whispered as well as he could while walking off down the alley towards the trash zone, sweet little baby in hand.

Chapter Text

"ALL RIGHTS! ! THAT [Press to view full image] P3RF ECT!11" Spamton dusted his hands off proudly as he inspected his work of art.

Things had been going surprisingly well, considering the horrendous circumstances. Maybe that was due to his extensive and meticulous work to babyproof his entire shop. He worked tirelessly to make the nearest surrounding trash zone as kid-friendly as possible, removing dangerous or hazardous things and making it more appealing for a more positive atmosphere.

He just finished a mobile he made all on his own with whatever cute figures and knick-knacks he could find laying around. Hopefully it would be enough to keep the kid entertained while he worked on other stuff. They had started to seemingly develop some sort of separation-anxiety, bawling their eyes out whenever Spamton put them down in their 100% stolen crib. He couldn't keep sending out his mini-spam, as that did take quite a bit of magic to do for long periods of time. So this was the best solution he could think of.

Babbling curiously, the baby reached up and tried to grab at the interesting objects dangling over them.
"B [CAUTION!] LITTLE 1! WOULDN'T [want more?] YOU TO [It hurts! Oh god, the pain!] U RSELF!" He warned them as he reached over to give them a small head pat.

He was glad they were looking a lot healthier after just a few days. They were sure a talkative little thing, always having an incoherent comment about anything and everything. They were energetic as well, which was a surprise to Spamton. Though, to be fair, when he found them, they had been starving and literally dying. Hard to be energetic in a situation like that.
Little tyke got moxie, that was for sure! He was always stunned by their ability to not cry at all the wild Mice they ran into while scavenging for food or other goods. In fact, he could have sworn they were trying to shoo them away from their findings. This kid. They were gonna grow up into a toughie. He couldn't wait to see-

Shaking himself out of his wandering thoughts, the puppet chastised himself for losing himself like that in his imagination. Don't be delusional! You're NOT keeping them! You are bringing them to Swatch and that's THAT.
But for the time being… What's the harm in letting yourself enjoy the company?

"OK!!!!! [Right here &] NOW! IT S SOON [Prime time] FOR SOME [specil Lunch Rush hour prices!]. [Let's-a go!] AND FIIIIIND SOME [Yummy yummy for my tummy]" he announced as he reached down and picked up the little lightener, placing them into the make-shift baby carrier he wore (which was just a modified backpack). They made a couple of baby noises before blowing a wet raspberry.

"CULDN'T [Have it your way!] SAID IT [New and improved] MYSELF!" He chuckled and gave them a soft little headbutt, which made them coo happily every time. Then they were off, exiting the shop to head over to their first area of business.

*~*~*

Spamton had become way more efficient in his dumpster diving.

Before, he'd just jump into the first dumpster he'd find and scramble about until he either found something, came out empty-handed or was discovered and chased away by another darkener.
But after having a child to worry about, he had to change tactics. He began taking note of which dumpsters and trash cans would be full when and when there would be the least amount of witnesses around.

At this time, he knew for a fact the best choice was the teashop trash. Yes, currently it was peak hour in the store, but that meant the workers would be too busy to come around the back. So that was the best opportunity he could wish for at that moment.

"ALRIGHTY [Small slime], LET,S [get to business]!" He announced as he carefully leaned over on the stairs leading to the backdoor and lifted the trash lid. Of course, because the world hates him, the bag inside was tied in a secure knot. He growled quietly before snapping a finger, shooting a bullet at the knot to cut it open. He would prefer not to be head deep in garbage with a child strapped to him just to untie a trash bag.

But once the bag was open, oh boy did it seem like Spamton G. Spamton's luck was turning! It was filled with discarded pastries and tea ingredients. The ingredients were not exactly edible to a lightener baby, so he'd have to keep those himself. But the rest was more than serviceable for his charge.
The salesman got to work, piling stale baking goods and random personal information into his inventory. The baby seemed to be getting fussy, probably from hunger. Understandable. He was also feeling really damn hungry.

"SS SS2SH. DON'T [Crying.sfx]. HERE" Spamton said as he picked up the cleanest, most delicious looking treat out of the bunch and used it on them. Making more baby sounds, this time pleased ones, their caretaker let out a sigh of relief before resuming his work.

But that was short-lived, as the backdoor softly opened and someone took a step out. Spamton froze on the spot, turning his head slowly to see who would bare witness to this strange scene.
It was a pink Addison, hair up in a ponytail and wide grin completely abandoned as they didn't expect to run into a customer. But as soon as they spotted Spamton, they gasped and took a step back.

"..."

"[...]"

Neither spoke, clearly not sure what to say in this strange situation.

"... Spam…?"

"[Bzzzzzt! Wrong!] YOU MUST BE [Thinking of expanding?] ANOTHER FORMER [Number 1 Rated Salesman 1997]!" Obviously that didn't work. They just looked at him with a raised brow, arms crossed over their chest. Then the kid started to fuss again, bringing a new wave of shock to the taller Addison's face.

"YOU HAVE A BABY!?!"

"[#@£%]" Spamton couldn't help but swear. This was literally the worst. It couldn't get any worse than this. Well… unless the busy sounds from inside was a family reunion. He probably just cursed himself thinking that.

"Wait wait wait! You… you… did the… you had… with WHO?!" He was left steaming after that question, clearly able to tell what they were insinuating. "I D-D-D-DIDN'T [&#®¥] ANYONE!!1!1 THIS IZ… I M JUST [Local babysitters] THEM!!! !" he protested quickly while clutching the kid to his chest.

The following silence was… pretty awkward. The pink ad played with their hair while trying to think up a response. It took quite a while, but they came up with something soon.
"Um… Soooo… do you… want some tea?"

Spamton looked confused. What… did they mean by that?
"[sincerest apologies] BUT I AIN,T GOT ANNY [Kromer]."

"It's on the house…"

"... WHAT'S THE [Fine Lines]??"

"You'll have to come inside. There is a private space in the back with a chair. I'll ask someone to take over for me in the front."

"U GONA [Call 911] ON ME?"

"Spam. You're literally carrying a baby. I… may have been an absolute piece of crap in the past, but I'm not heartless. I'll get something fresh and healthy prepared for them."

He was really considering it. He couldn't believe he was actually considering an offer from this pink bastard. But…

"... … … [deal]"

Chapter Text

This was… the last thing Spamton expected from his outing. Sitting in a comfortable chair, drinking a cup of tea, watching his former work colleague trying (and failing) to settle down a cranky toddler into a crappy old baby chair. Probably the only one they could find.
Now he could try to help, since he knew this kid better than the other Addison… but he was quite enjoying watching them struggle. He decided to just wait and see how it would go.

Sadly, they managed to sit them down soon enough and gave them a plate of Mega-bites to eat. They then sat down themselves and looked over at Spamton awkwardly.

"... HOW… ISE THE STORE, CLICK?"

"Oh, it's good. It's… going well. Neither up nor down."

"[SERVICEABLE] GOOD GOO D…"

"..."

"[CricketsSilence.Wav]"

Very… very awkward. The only noise at that moment was the crunching of the Mega-bites that were being eaten. The puppet took an accidentally loud sip from his tea as he glanced around the room.

"Ok… I think it's best if we address the… several elephants in the room. First off… what's with the uh… Th-the glitchy speech?"

Having that pointed out to him, Spamton suddenly felt himself growing increasingly self-conscious about the way he talks. It wasn't something he thought about often, but at that moment, he felt a little bad about it.
Instead of saying anything, he just gave a shrug. He really didn't know how exactly it happened, so it wasn't a lie.

"Ah! I-I'm sorry if it's a touchy subject! I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" Click hurriedly explained while waving their hands defensively.
It didn't exactly offend him, but Click didn't need to know that. They deserved to squirm for a bit. So he just glanced at them quietly before sipping again.

They sighed softly and rubbed at their neck, turning their head 90° away from him.
"Anyways… second question. What… What happened to you? After you left the mansion, no one's really seen you around. We've only heard rumors about what happened. Everything from 'He's dead' to 'he's gone underground and is making a living illegally selling crypto currency'. So… yeah…" their voice became less awkward and more gloomy as they spoke, though they tried to keep it composed.

The shorter of the two avoided looking directly at them, focusing on the child who was starting to doze off a little. Quickly, he got up and wandered over, picking them up in his arms so he could rock them to sleep. It was about nap time anyways.
Sitting back down, he thought about the question. How much did they deserve to know? He didn't feel like giving them a detailed explanation about how he was abandoned by the only person left that he cared about because he was unable to get to Neo. Or about how he was living on the streets, taunted by that sweet, alluring, venomous voice of the one who built him up to stardom, then sent him crashing down into the depths of obscurity.
But he could explain a few things. Everything that was their fault.

"AFTER MY [IRRESISTIBLE DEALS] WHENT [down the drain],, THAT [HOOCHIE MAMA] DECIDED IT WARRR-S ABOUT [time marches on] F0R ME TO [£ound my face straight into the concrete]. SHE [getting a kick out of our new-] M E OUT OF THE MA.ANSION WITH NOTH ' BUT MY [Mike… please pick up the phone]. I'VE BEEEEN [rotting with the rest of the trash…] SIENC" he tried his best to hold back the glitches as he spoke, but gave up halfway through. God, he hated his voice at that moment. Click wouldn't understand a single thing he said.

They sat quietly, seemingly in thought after his summary of events. After about half a minute, they looked back to the white Addison with a guilty frown.
"You… were living in the garbage? Did Queen really not let you keep anything besides your phone? That's… pretty cruel. If I'd known… I would have found you earlier" Click sighed as they uncrossed their legs and sat up straight. They looked straight at his face, making Spamton feel a little nervous.
"I mean, we tried looking for you. We wanted to make sure you were still alive. But… after not finding you, we kinda hoped you were just ignoring us. We honestly thought… you would never want to see us again, after what we did to you. We thought you might want some space… or… maybe we were just cowards, too afraid to face you ever again."

Finally, they were speaking some truth. Yeah, fair, he never wanted to see any of their stupid grins again. And they were cowards, leaving him behind without a single word! They deserved to feel whatever guilt they were feeling.

"After everything we've done to you, I think you deserve a sincere apology. We… no. You know what? I'm done with 'we', if they want to apologize, they can do it themselves. I am sorry for what I did. I was jealous of your success. I abandoned you. You didn't deserve any of that. Just because you finally found success… so! I'm very sorry! Truly sorry." Click took in a deep breath after finishing their rant, seemingly out of breath but it was definitely to compose themselves. They were rather emotional from Spamton's experience.

He wasn't sure what to think. They were apologizing to him. A straight apology, no begging for forgiveness and no guilty crying. He was both thankful for it and felt a little robbed of the chance to watch one of his ex-friends sniveling at his feet.
Though… hearing them honestly admitting to their guilt and giving him the apology he deserves… it made something soft squeeze in his chest.

"Sigh… now… can I continue asking… where did you find the baby?" The pink salesperson tried to continue as they twiddled their thumbs and kept their eyes on the table. Spam was thankful for the break from eye contact.
"I… SOME[PATRONS] WERE OUT MY [dumpster]. WHEN 1 TRIED [making the deal of a lifetime] THEM, THEY DROPPED [$4.99 blankets on sale!] ON THE GROUND AND [Run a marathon for amazing pr1z3s!]. A-AND WHEN… when… I went to look…"
The volume of his voice lowered for the first time in their entire meeting, sounding slightly distorted by static. He looked down at the sleeping baby, watching them snuggle up closer to his chest in response to his lower volume. Were they worried?

"... I found this little angel in it. They were on [3%] health… very weak… I had to… I couldn't…"

"Spam… that's… you really became a better man than any of us, huh?"

Oh. Oh they had no idea. They didn't know what he had been planning on doing before that. The thoughts running through his brain.

And they didn't deserve to know.

"I… I don't know… I'm just… happy to see you. But I'm also sad to… see you like this. Is there anything I can help with? Do you need any clothes for them? Any food? Money? Just… let me know, I'll get it for you" Click insisted as they got up from their chair, walking over to a cabinet in the corner of the room.

Typical Click. Always so eager to please. And concerned. Always very concerned about everything. What a pushover. But… It's kinda what makes them so endearing.
Of course… n-not to Spamton.
Obviously.

"UR SUCH A [spineless doormat]" not exactly what he intended to say, but close enough.

"H-HEY!! I'm only doing this for the baby! I-It's not like I-I-I missed you and your d-dumb jokes and… and your silly antics a-and cute drawings we got for our birthdays…"

"YOU W3RE [Always open 24/7] A [@&£#]ing TERR RRIBLE [burning pants]."

"Hmf. Alright, fine. I missed you a whole lot. There. Does that make you feel good?"

"MAKE S ME FEEL LIKE A [BIG SHOT!]."

Click started laughing at that, enjoying the more casual atmosphere in the room. Spamton would be lying if he said he didn't. But… he still had things to work through… and a baby to care for. He should be heading out.
"I MUST [Dine and dash] NOW. BEFORE [I'M BLIND!!!]."

Click shot up straight and looked over at him, face falling into disappointment for only a second before they tried hiding it with a somber smile.
"Ah… yeah. I understand. But please, at least take some proper food with you. Something not stale. It's the least I can do."

"I DON'T DO [CHARITY EVENT], CLICK."

"C'mon! For little… uh… do they… have a name?"

Oh!

He hadn't even thought about that. Shoot! Of course they should have a name! Every person has a name. And… of course they were a person. A person worthy of a name.
But… What name? It would have to be something good! Something proud! Something beautiful! Something…

"... … … Sky."

"That's… beautiful. Don't you think Sky deserves proper food? Just… take it. And if you need more, just come round back and I'll make it for you. You don't even need to talk to me again if you don't want to. Just knock and… I don't know… leave a note, maybe? Maybe a-"

"[Thank you] CLICK" Spamton interrupted, knowing they wouldn't stop their rambling unless he said something. They sighed in relief and gave him what they promised before he headed out, baby still fast asleep in the carrier.

…
That… was a lot. He wasn't sure how to feel. It was a lot to process. He'd just have to figure that out later. He had to get home.

He looked down at… Sky. That's their names now, huh? Sky. It was the first thing he could think of. He…

He really liked it.

Chapter Text

Spamton panted as he rounded a corner and was seemingly met with a dead end. He cursed in panic as he turned to look towards the sound of enraged buzzing. Damn that Werewire was surely a persistent thing! He only tried to take one bag of USB-sticks and they flew into a hissy fit just like that! That level of temper is not healthy.

The puppet turned back towards the end of the line, trying to find some sort of escape. That's when he spotted a slowly rising teacup ride from over the edge. He could have cried with glee, holding onto the baby on his chest protectively as he leapt over into the ride.
The impact seemingly caused it to seize its ascend and begin plummeting downwards. That's when he heard the buzzing again. But only for a moment as it grew further and further away.

He made it. He and Sky escaped that gangly rainbow, with the loot no less. What an achievement! He excitedly began pumping his fists in the air while laughing triumphantly. The rush from it all kept his adrenaline going as he made his way out of the teacup and began walking down the stretch of land before him.

Where had he ended up, anyways? Spamton had been so focused on running that he hadn't paid any attention to where he had been going. He began running from a store that Werewire had walked out of, then he ran for… how long was it? At least 10 minutes or so. He honestly couldn't tell.
As he saw a familiar looking building in the distance with tracks reaching out into the horizon, he finally realized where this was.

"[Cyber field]!?!" Had he really been running that far??? How??? Damn, when you're in danger you really just become an Olympic runner. Well, anything for the tiny human. And now he'd have to find a way back to the trash zone. Would probably be a long way, but-

As he had that thought, he felt something touch his nose. Weird. Did something fall on him? Or did Sky poke him or something? It wasn't until the area he had been touched started feeling tingly with an irritated buzz that realization hit.
"ACIDD [makin' it rain]!,?!" Spamton yelled as he looked up towards the sky, seeing bright, translucent green droplets starting to fall around him. As soon as his brain caught up with everything, he once again sprinted down the field to find some sort of cover. He did NOT want to have his skin melted off today, sir!

Luckily, his body was still pumping with adrenaline, so he could keep going for a little while longer. He had to. At least until he and the child found shelter until the rain let up.
Suddenly, Sky let out a shriek that soon tapered off into loud crying.
Shoot! He forgot about them! They were barely covered with that tattered old shirt, the acid would probably soak through and give them horrible burns! As quickly as possible while trying to keep up the pace, he fumbled to get his jacket off and cover the poor little thing. Sure, his own shirt would probably get drenched, but it was better than having a baby with burn scars.

The Addison's breaths were getting more labored as he ran, not finding anything even resembling a shelter on the way. There was that building with the tracks, but he had no idea how to get there, so he was basically just running around aimlessly.
That's when he saw something a bit ahead. Another building! A place to hide out from the burning rain! And, from what he was able to see, it had the word 'Shop' on it. Which meant it was open for the public. Perfect! He could sneak in there and hide somewhere where the store clerks couldn't find him.

As he reached the shop, he gripped the handle and twisted it violently, throwing it open and stumbling inside. It soon shut behind him as he staggered over to the front counter and leaned his exhausted body against it. Spamton felt his entire back tingling with pain. It was a numbing kind of pain, kind of like when your leg falls asleep. But at least he was inside. And Sky looked mostly fine, though they were still sniffling miserably.

"Ay yo! Customer! Sweet!" An energetic voice sounded from behind the counter, making Spamton shoot up straight and face whoever worked here. He saw three robots. A speaker, a radio and a CD player. The first two were kind of short while the latter was pretty freaking tall. At least he wouldn't have to look up at everyone.

"Hey there, dude! Welcome to our junk shop!" Said the one with Sunglasses.

"We've got a little bit of everything here!" The square shaped bot continued.

"Would you like our junk or shop?" The tall one finished.

Huh. So they got this little 'finish each other's sentences' gimmick going on. Well, he wasn't one to judge. That would be hypocrisy.

"[Seasons greetings] [co-sellers]. I-I-I-I-I I'M JU ST H3RE TO [git gud fest] OUT 0F THE RAIN,,. I DON'T WUNNA [die]."

"... Ha ha. I like your words."

"C'mon K_K. It might be a glitch."

"Oh. Sorry, Mr. Glitch."

"Ah. Well if that's what you need, then take your time! I'm sure it will let up soon. In the meantime, wanna buy some CD bagels? Or maybe listen to a little of our music? We're musicians, ya know!" The speaker interrupted the other two.

"NO THANK(s)! I [Just five easy payments of $infinity] NEED TO WAIT!!1! AND I D0N'T HAVVE ANY [Kromer]! [SPAMTON G SPAM-] & [My little Sky] WILL LEAVE [Your fine establishment] SOON ENOUFF."

The robots all looked him up and down, the one wearing sunglasses lowering them as he inspected him. The green one seemed to be more focused on the kid strapped to his chest, eyes watching curiously.

"Whoa… you look like crap. Acid bad today, huh?" The radio casually tilted against the wall.

"[... It burns]" was all Spamton could respond with.

"I bet! Look at you! You're soaked! And that kid looks very grumpy. Where do you live? Is it far from here? Because you might wanna get changed as soon as possible" the speaker said worriedly.

Spamton's shoulders tensed and he glanced away nervously, his distrusting side starting to bubble up a bit. Should he really tell them where he lives? They might be thugs! Though… the energy they gave off was less than hostile. But that might just be a facade.

"Hiiiii~" The tall CD player leaned against the counter and smiled brightly, waving at Sky. Sky watched them, still feeling upset but getting a bit interested with this robot talking to them.
Spamton's knee jerk reaction was to turn his body away and eye them suspiciously. They pouted at that, their posture turning gloomy.

Then the one-eyed shopkeeper hit his palm with a bright expression, as if he just came up with an idea.

"I know! Why don't you use our hose to clean up and you can borrow a robe or whatever we got laying around? You can even take it easy on our couch until the rain stops! We'll get some fresh bagels ready for you."

"Wonderful idea~! I'll add extra ska!"

"Ew. No. This guy is clearly more of a jazz guy! Plus, ska sucks."

"Hey! Ska is pretty tasty!"

"That's because you two have trash taste, Sweet."

Spamton glanced between all of them, listening to the argument.
… Ok. Maybe less of a 'Deceitful friendliness' situation and more of a 'Chaotic dumbasses who can't butter toast on their own' situation. He wasn't sure if he would trust these people with a child. But… so long as he kept an eye on them and Sky, there shouldn't be anything to worry about.
Plus, a shower sounded like heaven to him right then, not to mention how badly he wanted this acid off of him.

"... [Okie dokie artichokie], [IT'S A DEAL!!!]"

The three stopped arguing and glanced over at him, all worn out and turning red from burns. They decided that they could put a pin in that argument as they led him into the back of the store.

Before the puppet could begin to wonder if he was about to be knocked over the head with a tire iron, the band collectively ran over to a door and held it open for him, right after bumping into each other comically.
What goofs. Hopefully they wouldn't set fire to the whole place while he cleaned up.

*~*~*

The cleaning felt oh so wonderful to Spamton as he held the hose over his head and just let the water run over him before actually starting to get to work. He also took the opportunity to wash Sky off, since he didn't get the chance to wash them often and also to make sure they didn't have any residuals from the rain on them.

He soon came out in a tacky purple robe with a lightning motif on it. The radio, who he learned is named Cap'n, gave him finger guns and grinned.
"Ey. looking good!"

"I [View our wide selection of ] LIKE [%@&£]ING [the 80's. A simpler time] VOOOMIT!" Spam strongly disagreed as he trudged over to the couch where another member of the band sat. He gently sat himself on it and immediately sank into its plush comfort. Wow. That was, without a doubt, the best couch he's sat in for ages.

"Baby back!" K_K, the big green one, called out happily as they leaned down and looked the little thing over, as curious as they were previously.
Still, Spamton felt uncomfortable with the attention on them, so he clutched them tighter to his chest. K_K didn't seem dissuaded though.

"Alright! I just checked and… the weather just got worse. It's pouring terabytes out there! I don't know how long it's going to last. Sooo," the Cyclops speaker, named Sweet, came into the room with the bad news, walking up to the couch and leaning against the side. "I suggest you get comfy. We'll give you a hand though. Probably got some extra comforters or something laying around-"

"Comforters? Who the hell has a comforter?" Cap'n interrupted him with a confused look.

"What do you mean? We've had one for years!"

"Uuh, no? The heck?"

"You used it last week when you conked out on the couch!"

"Do you mean the throw blanket???"

"..."

"Ha ha ha! Dude-"

"Shut Up Shut Up Shut Up Shut Up Shut Up!"

The two just went back and forth. But honestly, Spamton stopped listening after a short while. He was still mildly suspicious of these characters, but he couldn't find it in himself to care anymore.
That long needed wash had not only rinsed off the dirt and acid, but also the left over adrenaline he had been holding onto. It left him completely spent, the exhaustion of running for so long finally catching up to him. Plus the sleepless nights he spent taking care of the baby only amplified the feeling of tiredness that took him over, like a spreading disease. Or a virus. Or a… calming wave… of…

Behind his bicoloured glasses, his eyes began to involuntarily droop as the sounds around him became muffled. He felt Sky moving about in his now slack arms, but he couldn't will them to move, to pull the precious life in closer again. He just felt… so comfortable. So nice and tired. So… so nice… and…

"Look! All I'm saying is that you don't have to use the right word all the time! Sometimes you can just assume what I meant from context!"

"You're only saying that because you don't know what a throw blanket is called!"

"NO I-"

"Nighty night, Glitch man" K_K suddenly mumbled cheerfully, gaining the attention of the two arguing.
They both saw Spamton dead asleep, his body leaning heavily to the left as his head hung low. He had completely let go of the kid, who crawled out of his grip and continued over to the tall CD player, who looked ecstatic by it.

"Wow… he really was as exhausted as he looked" Cap'n commented as he walked over to help maneuver him so he was laying down. That hanging position looked like it would start to hurt after a while.
"Poor guy. It can't be easy taking care of a kid in Cyber City alone" Sweet sighed sympathetically and followed suit, grabbing the glasses from his face and laying them on the living room table.

"Hi~. Hi~. Hi~." K_K kept repeating as Sky continuously waved their hand at them, which they responded to with a wave of their own. Seemed like someone made a new friend quickly.

"Hey. How about we take care of this little bean while that guy gets some sleep?" Sweet suggested as he headed over towards the kitchen, motioning the rest to come along.

*~*~*

Spamton groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. His head was spinning. His body felt numb. His vision, despite having his eyes wide open, was dark.
… Darker…
Yet…
"NO!" He shouted and shot up straight, looking around in a panic, which confirmed his fears. He was in the void. In the darkness. The endless, all consuming space that took over his mind long ago. The one that filled him with dread and pain.
Why was he back here? Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-

His unending question was cut off by a loud sound, echoing through the stale, dust filled air. It came from behind him. He turned slowly, revealing a spotlight that shone onto a baby crib. His baby crib.
"Sky? SKY?!" He called out and got up to his feet, rushing over towards the light as fast as he could. He reached over the side and ripped off the blanket that covered the child. But… it wasn't a child underneath.

Instead… it was his rotary phone, its black, shining surface reflecting the light from above, making it gleam into Spamton's eyes. He just stared in disbelief, so many confusing thoughts swirling around in his head light a whirlwind.
Then, it rang.
His heart stopped at the sound, fear rising to the surface. He's calling. He wants to talk with him. But he can't! He can't talk to [him] again. He needs to find-
But… but what if he…

Not even finishing his own thoughts, the puppet scrambled for the receiver and hurriedly put it to the side of his head, speaking instantly "Where are they?! I know you have them, Mike! Tell me what you did!"

"Hello, Spamton G. Spamton. If you could greet me before demanding answers next time, that would be great."

"There won't be a next time, damn it! Tell me where Sky is before I reach through this phone and-"

"Spamton."

His voice was so commanding, so unquestionably dominating that he could feel himself instantly shutting his mouth without even as much as an order.

"You know how much I hate swearing. It makes me upset. I'll let it slide this time. But don't let it happen again."

He didn't even have to raise his voice. Spamton already felt himself growing more accommodating, despite the rage he felt. He was still a puppet, unable to disobey.
He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself so maybe Mike would be more cooperative.

"Tell me where Sky went… please. Di-did you have anything to do with…"

"Now that's much better. See how much easier it is when you just listen to me?"

Goddamn you, Mike.

"Oh. And I have to say… How silly of you to ask me a vague question like that and expect a clear-cut answer. Yes, I have something to do with it. But, I also have nothing to do with it. Sky is here. Sky is there. Sky is nowhere. And all at the same time. How curious, right?"

"Y-you're not making any [$&@#]ING S3NE$!1!" Spamton gasped and quickly slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Tsk tsk tsk. What did I just say? This is your last warning. Be a good little Addison and do as you're told, alright?"

He had to agree, lest he wanted to lose the clarity of his voice.

"Now, perhaps it doesn't make sense to you. But I understand. Oh yes. But, perhaps I can make you understand. Visuals should do the trick."

No. No no no no no! Not this stuff again! He didn't want another revelation!
But before he could protest, the void around him suddenly came to life with colors. He had been transported to the mansion. Mike could be heard on the other end taking a short breath, preparing to speak.

"This. This is one place they are."

Then he heard a small laugh coming from the opening of the café as a small human came running out. They were larger than the baby he knew, and their head was covered completely with static noise. Behind them came Swatch, who grinned brightly as they followed along.

"Come now, dear. No need to show everyone. They are very busy."

"But they need to see! They have to see how cool I look in my new outfit! I look just like you, Par!"

"Par is short for parent, by the way."
Thanks, Mike. Very necessary to point out.

"Heh heh! So full of energy. How about we show them all at dinner? Queen is inviting all the staff to a feast today."

"Yes! Auntie Queen is the best!"

Spamton stood frozen, phone clenched tightly in his fist.

"Sweet, isn't it? Your little plan worked. Now they're as happy as can be, and they didn't even need you around."

"I… that's… great…" he mumbled, a mix of emotions settling heavy into his stomach.

"Of course, that's not it…"

The world shifted again, this time looking a whole lot like the inside of Click's shop. Click was sitting behind the counter, crying into their hands while rocking back and forth. Spamton stared in shock, walking closer to see what was going on. He noticed that the store was in disarray, as if a fight broke out, and that the pink salesperson was mumbling into their hands.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I… I had no choice. I didn't have a choice. Queen ordered me… I had to… Spammy! I'm so so so SORRY!"

A chill ran through him as he watched this depressing scene, the mention of his name making his blood run cold.

"Yes. Turns out Queen found out about the lightener and sent out a warrant for their arrest. As soon as Click saw you and the baby, they invited you in and immediately called Tasque Manager. You put up a struggle. But… she got the child… eventually."

Spamton looked down at Click, quivering and sobbing hard enough to make them cough.

With no warning, it all disappeared again, only to be replaced with a new scene of what appeared to be a conference room or something. At one end of the table, Queen sat at her throne. The other, the shady people who left the baby behind sat, holding the blanket Spamton found them in.

"Here, you never found them and they got pawned off to Queen for a generous sum of dark dollars."

Again, the scene changed before the salesman could react and turned into an alleyway. It was empty, save for the blanket laying abandoned on the ground. Hesitantly, Spamton approached and glanced at it.
What he saw… was traumatizing. The baby was gone, only a floating, dim soul left as a trace of their existence. He looked down at the phone, waiting for an explanation.

What he was met with instead, was long, white, segmented fingers sticking out of purple plate armor. The phone was now miniscule in comparison. Around his fingers were neon green strings, glowing and stretching up into the void above him, fading out of sight the longer one looked.

"And this is where we went with my plan."

"No! No! I-I-I… I would never-!"

"Oh come now, Spamton. Don't act so surprised. You're no saint, you know? You have many sins crawling on your back…"

As if to make a point, the wings on his back extended with a harsh metallic sound, echoing between the concrete walls. He thought having wings like that would give him the freedom he wanted. But instead, he felt even heavier. He felt more like a puppet than he ever had, only held up by those strings.

"Like… those friends of yours. The ones who, quote unquote, abandoned you. After you tried to ruin their businesses, their livelihood, for your own selfish gain. Not to mention how you treated them like lowly scum. But, hey. They deserved it… right?"

Spamton felt a violent chill wrack his body from just that last word, the hanging question leaving him feeling so cold.

"But I can't say the same for your other so-called friends. Like that clown. What a silly little guy that one, playing his games, trying to cheer you up. And you treated him like nothing more than a filthy stain on your expensive suit. A nuisance. How rude."

He grew even colder, shivering.

"Oh. And who could forget Swatch? The always kind and patient butler who'd listen to you endlessly complain while sobbing into a bottle of alcohol. So understanding, they'd support you, comfort you. They would greet you with a smile every time, despite it being… you. And what would you give them in return? Gloating? Demeaning nicknames? Drunken shouting? And yet they still remained polite. Would even go so far as to consider you a loyal customer."

"s-so… so c-c-cold…"

"Yes. Indeed. You are a sad, empty, cold little man. But I stuck by you, no matter what. Despite everything, I'm still here, trying to help you see. You're too cold to provide the warmth needed to care for a child. The best you can do for them is use Neo and take their soul to heaven with you. Give them some semblance of happiness which they could not get from life."

Spamton was freezing. His teeth were chattering loudly and it felt like his body was getting covered in frostbite. He should have never picked up that phone! He should have never sought shelter with those musicians! He should have never accepted Click's offer! He should have never… never unfolded… that blanket.

…

He wants sky. He misses them so much. They were always warm, like a small candle that never extinguished. He wants to see their smile. He wants to hear them babbling while they pull on his nose.
Hot tears begin streaming down his face, warming up his body where it left a trail.

"I… No… no… I won't-. Mike."

Silence, heavy with curious anticipation.

"... Take a goddamn vacation straight to hell, bA2T[#@%]."

*~*~*

"Should we wake him up…?"

"I mean… I don't know. He seemed so tired earlier. He might just want to sleep."

"Yeah, but he looks… restless."

He could hear their voices. But he couldn't see. He couldn't move. Everything felt like static.

"Let's just put the bagels here for when he wakes up. Maybe we were just being too loud."

He could hardly hear them as is, so that was clearly wrong.
Then he heard high pitched whining and a surprised gasp.

"What's wrong, Cakes?"

"I… I think baby wants papa."

Papa?
He never said that it wasn't his kid. So it makes sense why they'd assume.
It made his soul feel lighter thinking about it. Being called papa. But it also filled him with an indescribable amount of guilt.
He then felt a small, warm body placed down next to him. Slowly but surely, they crawled under his arm and snuggled up to his chest. That's what gave him the energy to move his body, curling up around Sky as his shoulders started to shake. That's when the dam broke and he let out a loud, ugly sob, eyes opening slightly to let the tsunami of tears come out.
"MY SKY… MY [So sweet] LITTLE ANGEL… MY PRECIOUS [L i g h t]…"

The robots around him looked concerned, then Sweet walked over and sat down on the free space left.
"Hey… Maybe it's best if you stay until morning. It's… probably safer. So you're properly rested n' all."

"We made classic bagels. Everyone loves classical music," K_K added as they held out the plate to him. "Sky helped… that's Sky, right?"

Spamton didn't bother answering any of them. He gave his answer by reaching out and taking the offered bagel, eating it between sobs. Yeah. It was better to stay. Just this once, he could forget about his pride. He could already feel himself growing tired again, but at least he finished his food before he got comfortable with Sky for another snooze. He drifted peacefully this time as he heard music being turned on in the background, drowning out the stressful silence with a calm, peaceful melody

Chapter Text

Spamton hummed softly as he opened the door to his shop, looking over towards the crib before entering. There, Sky was attempting to eat their blanket while kicking it into submission. A little fighter, for sure.

"[Salutations] SKY!!!! I'M BACK! GOT THE [goods and/or services] FR0M [click the link for more information]!! TOO DAY SEEMS 2B [Hyperlink blocked]-" he shook his head quickly before giving it some light smacks, like hitting a broken television. "-[Hyperlink bl-][Hyperli-][H-] STEW!11!" Yes! He got it! He'd win over Mike's stupid glitches soon enough.
If… that was how this worked. He still wasn't sure if he understood everything right, it was still so confusing.

Sky stood up in the crib and reached a hand out towards him, babbling and whining for him to come closer. He chuckled and did as told, leaning down and lifting the baby up high. "[We are now preparing for takeoff, please fasten your seat belts]" was what came out of his mouth instead of the airplane sounds he had planned on making to amuse them. But despite that, they still giggled and waved their arms happily.
Spamton smiled so brightly at that laugh, a sweet and innocent laugh that he caused. He made them laugh. Not at him, but at his attempt at jokes. It was such a nice feeling, making someone else happy. Someone who deserved all the joy in the world.

Oh Right! Food!
He quickly settled them against his hip before walking over to his desk and taking a seat, bringing the food out for them. He scooped some of the food up and began feeding them.
It's weird though. The former Addison recalled reading in those early years about lighteners. He saw something about how they don't 'consume' things like darkeners. They were more complicated, especially babies. They can't eat certain foods until they grow bigger for some reason.
But there they were, eating everything he had given them without complaint. Did that mean he had fed them the right stuff? Or had he not and they had yet to experience the consequences of the inedible food? It had been about… gosh, how long? A month? Nothing bad had happened yet, so maybe the food there just worked differently.

They grabbed a piece of food from the plate while Spamton got distracted and suddenly smacked the dripping piece against his teeth. He jumped in surprise and looked down at them with bewildered eyes. "WHAAT THE [&#@€] WAS DAT ABOUT??!?" He asked as he held them out a bit, not wanting another one forced onto his face.
Sky just grumbled angrily as they reached for the fork in Spamton's hand. He didn't do much to stop them, just raised a puzzled brow at them. Then they whined and growled as they reached the fork out towards the half-eaten food.

Then the pieces came together and he placed them back down onto his lap. "YOUR. . . YOU"RE [Try it out! Now in pink!] TO [sustained] ME?? ?" He couldn't really believe it himself, that they were so smart and kind that they learned how to imitate his caretaking methods and tried to use them on him.
Sky seemed satisfied as they managed to get a bunch of tiny pieces of food onto the fork. They brought it up to him and prodded at his teeth carelessly. He couldn't help but snickering at that and allowing the utensil entrance as he opened his mouth. Sky looked thrilled with that as they bounced wildly on his leg and laughed loudly at the action.

The puppet wanted to cry. This was… too beautiful. Not only did someone feel safe with him, but they also tried taking care of him in return. It was such a sweet thing he hadn't experienced in quite a while. It was so wonderful!

He allowed another fork of barely any food into his mouth as the child fed him even more. And from the uptick in enthusiasm, he assumed that they wouldn't be stopping anytime soon.

*~*~*

"[Easy, tiger]. TAKE 1T [slow motion bike stunt compilation!!!]. DON'T WANNA FALL!" Spamton warned the baby as he carefully led them towards him as he sat with his legs spread on the floor, in case they fell to the side or something.
Sky took some very shaky, unstable steps towards the man holding onto their arms. They looked very focused (for a toddler) as they took their steps very deliberately.

It was impressive, really. Spamton had assumed them to be less than a few months old, since he found them wrapped up in a blanket. But they had a lot more motor skills than he expected, so maybe they were older. He really couldn't tell how old, as much as he tried. They couldn't be older than 2, he'd have to assume.

The man grinned as the little trooper quickened their pace and all but started marching towards him. It was too cute, how serious they were. He hoped they wouldn't grow into a dry, uptight no-nonsense type of person. A little bit of humor is needed to not go mad in Cyber City. Queen wasn't exactly a serious type.
But maybe they were just very determined and focused on their goal. A driven person. That sounded much better! Admirable! Of course, whether they grew up to be driven or not, Spamton would be proud of them either way.

Gha! Crap! His mind wandered off again! Focus, Spam, Focus! You're not keeping them! You're taking them to Swatch and making sure they'll get a better life!
… Yeah. You're just taking care of them till then.
You're just a babysitter till then.

…

Sky made a sputtering sound, gaining Spamton's attention. He saw them standing up while only holding onto one of his hands. Attempting to take a step caused them to come crashing down into his chest.
He grinned and ruffled their hair, feeling bittersweet. At least he had them for the moment.

… Maybe Swatch would allow them to visit.

*~*~*

The puppet snored loudly as he slept, head resting comfortably in his folded arms as he laid slumped over on his desk. It was late. Or rather, it was early.
He had stayed up late to try and comfort Sky after they woke up in a little fit. He wasn't sure why, since he couldn't exactly ask. So he just got them back to sleep before going to his desk to continue brainstorming his baby delivery (Code name: Stork). But he fell asleep himself after just a short while. He was pretty exhausted, so it was only natural.

But as he slumbered on top of his work, a soft sound made him grumble quietly and shift around. It wasn't until a moment later the sound abruptly turned ear-splitting and caused him to shoot up straight, fast enough to topple him and the chair over.
He pushed himself up hurriedly and darted his face around in a groggy panic. That sound. It was giving him a headache. That familiar, panic inducing ringing. That ring ring ringing. That ringringringringrpickupthephonespamtonpickupanswerme-

Spamton got onto his knees and immediately turned to look into the darkened corner of his shop. The phone… it's… no! No it can't be! It isn't! He panted as his heart rate rose steadily. It's… it's not him! It's another dream! Just another dream!
He shakily got back up to his feet and crept over towards the corner. It just grew louder and louder. His body trembled harder.

Finally, he was close enough to see it. His phone. [His] phone. [His] connection to him. But… it wasn't moving. It wasn't ringing. It was completely still and lifeless. But the ringing was so loud. It was so so so so loud. He couldn't hear his own thoughts. The sound was taking over his brain. It came from inside him.

"[Mike]!!!1!1 L3AV ME E E [all by myself]!!!! I [can't resist these deals!][do your best][it will be over soon]! [Please do as you're told][don't be so stubborn][make it easy on yourself][Me and you both know it's a waste of effort], [Please…]!!!"

It wasn't his anymore. His words, his voice, his thoughts. They were being controlled by [him]. He couldn't say anything. He wasn't allowed to. Damn it! Damn it all! Why did he have to be a puppet?! Why did he have to have these strings?! They were suffocating, wrapping around his throat and wrists. What did he do to deserve it?!?

"Buh nyeh babanga spaaa!" Something was making sounds in the distance. Spamton's body reacted instinctively with a twitch of his fingers. That's when he felt it. Something nudged against his cheek. It felt warm. Not like the feeling of another body against his, but like the comforting warmth radiating off a candle.
The sensation slowly spread across his face, its effects soothing, caring, reassuring. It was enough to make him stir slightly from his frenzy and start to make his way back up to his knees. When did he fall?

His vision was mostly blurry, a mix of dark, drab colors. Except for one, bright glowing solid color in front of him. The short darkener rubbed his eyes quickly, taking note of the fact that he could move on his own again, and tried to refocus his eyes.

He was met with a brightly coloured soul floating right in front of his face. A rich yellow soul. The very same that he first saw when he found sky. He stared with a hanging jaw, stunned completely for a solid minute. Then he heard that sound again.
"Ptttttth! Spaaaann! Sbaba!" He shook his head and turned towards the noise, seeing Sky gripping onto the edge of the crib and staring at him concerned. It was… their soul? But… how? They… that shouldn't…

A yawn escaped his mouth as he suddenly felt another wave of relaxation wash over him. He glanced over and saw the soul resting against his hair.
Maybe this was something he didn't need answers to right then.
Maybe it was better to let go and just accept that it happened.
Maybe he should go back to sleep.

Spamton gently took the soul into his hands, hovering gently just above his palms, as he walked over to his usual makeshift bed beside the baby. He reached a hand between the bars of the bed and was promptly met with a smaller one.

Sky… they were sure an impressive little kid.

Chapter Text

It was hard to stay focused. Especially when your life was so suddenly turned upside and the biggest regret of your life suddenly turns up by your backdoor.
It had been quite a while since Click found Spamton again. About a month or so. That was shocking enough as is, but him turning up with a baby with him was one of the last things they could have imagined. It gave them lots of uncomfortable thoughts, which were quickly squashed when he said they weren't his.

Surprisingly, it had gone way better than expected. No fighting, no yelling, crying or running for the hills. Spamton just came in for some tea and a chat. Click got to apologize for their wrongdoings, which they were very thankful for.
In fact, it went so well, they have stayed in relative contact ever since. At first it was a struggle, but soon enough Spamton would return to their shop for fresh food. It brought them so much relief. They cried that night from joy when he instinctively said 'See you tomorrow' without noticing.
So that was their relationship, Click preparing meals for Spamton to bring back for Sky and himself. It wasn't much, it wasn't even that friendly, just cordial. But it was enough to ease Click's worries a little.

But they wondered how it was going. Had the meals helped him at all? Was he eating them or just feeding Sky? Had his situation improved?

"HEY! YO! CYBER CITY TO CLICK! Are you gonna eat it or was the bun just for social media?" Their wandering thoughts were abruptly cut off by their friend, who was waving a hand in their face and seemed to have been doing it for a little while. Click's face started flushing bright red as they looked over at the yellow Addison. Her expression was clearly annoyed, leaning over the table to get their attention.

"S-S-SORRY FLASH! I… I didn't mean to ignore you. I was just… thinking of something. My bad" they mumbled awkwardly and took a tiny bite from their pistachio bun. Flash sighed and slicked her spiky hair back. "What's up with you recently? You've been spacing out whenever we hang out together! Am I really that freaking boring?"

"N-No! Not at all! It's just… I've been having a lot on my plate recently. It's been hectic and I can't help but worry that I'm not doing it right."

That seemed to make Flash give up on her irritation and just groan under her breath. "You worry too much, Clicky. Your business is doing fine! You're a great salesperson and anyone who says otherwise can eat my personalized gloves when I DECK them!"

"Flash! That's not what I meant! I'm confident in my work."

"Then what's got you so spacey? Because you usually don't get like this when something worries you!"

Damn. Are they that transparent? But they couldn't tell her about Spamton, right? He probably wanted to have his privacy and the rest of his prior friends might not be as… composed as Click somehow managed to be at the time. And it's not their news to share. But… they couldn't lie! Not because it's bad, but because they're physically incapable of lying. They'd be called out immediately.

"... Um… well… Can you keep a secret?"

"'Course Click! Spill the tea!"
They rolled their eyes at the pun, but continued nonetheless.

"You see… recently I found out why my trash has been rummaged through. I found a tasq eating of my old pastries when I went out the back. It looked very unwell. Dirty and kind of scrawny. It also had a baby with it that looked in a rough shape too."

"Oh. Oh you poor, poor pushover."

"Hey! I have a bleeding heart! So… I gave it some food so it wouldn't have to eat trash. It was very aggressive at first, most likely due to the baby. But after some coaxing, it took the food, then left. I returned the next day, but it wasn't there. I was worried that I scared it off. But recently it finally came back, clawing at the door. So I brought it more food. Now it's coming by once a day and I give it some food to take with it."

"Uhu? And let me guess, you're worried that you're not doing enough by just feeding it?"

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb. I know you. You're concerned about its health and want to know if you should have tried to take it home and take care of it. It's a typical 'Click' mindset!"

They just stared at Flash, looking completely dumbfounded. She raised a confused brow at the expression.

"... Oh my god. How could I overlook something like that?"

"Click, NO!"

"I didn't even consider it! How could I be so thoughtless?!"

"No! Stop! Click, you are not bringing home a wild, aggressive tasq with a freaking baby!"

"BUT FLASH-!"

"It could have a virus! Or it might have a home!"

"I know for A FACT it doesn't!"

"No you don't! You're just guilt tripping yourself into believing you do! It's not your responsibility! You can't take care of any stray you stumble o-"

Before Flash could finish, the pink Addison was already standing up from their seat and rummaging through their pockets for their wallet to pay for the treats. She quickly followed and walked over to stop them by grabbing their arm.

"Please! Just listen! You can't take responsibility for any and every creature in need. You're already kind enough by feeling it. You don't need to be Mother Teresa."

They stopped their rushing and smiled at Flash. They reached out and patted her hand. "I know. I appreciate it a lot. But… I think this is something I need to do. As soon as I'm able to, I'll tell you why I'm so worked up about this. Thanks Flash" they sighed and gave her a hug before putting the money on the table and rushing out.

She stood there, confused and bewildered by what just happened. She wasn't sure if she had done good or bad, but there wasn't much to do about it after Click made up their mind.

*~*~*

It wasn't exactly the smartest idea. Wandering the trash zone aimlessly in hopes of finding Spamton wasn't exactly a foolproof plan. They didn't even know where he could possibly have this store of his. They just knew of the general area, the entire dump. And it was not a pleasant outing, being bombarded by wild poppups and mice. It stunk and they wanted to barf.
It all made them feel even more guilty, thinking that this was how Spamton had to live. Sure, they wanted to respect his personal space and his competence, but they didn't even offer! They just assumed that he would have turned it down because of his independent nature.

As long as Click had known Spamton, he had always despised handouts. Being treated like lesser than or incapable of taking care of himself was the worst thing he knew and he said as much during their nights out. He always wanted to be in charge and be seen as a self-made successful salesman. It was admirable back then, but in the present, it was nothing but trouble. They would usually try to help him in sneaky ways, so it wouldn't be obvious. Asking him to go to the store for them so they could offer him dinner when he got back, asking him to keep them company when he seemed to need a break from work. As long as it wasn't a direct act of charity, it was fine!

The Addison sighed as they continued down the dirty alley, holding they're trench coat closed from the chilling air. Then they saw something… out of place. The trash around them seemed… more organized? It was clearly not just tossed aside, but was placed deliberately and stacked in a way that wouldn't so easily cause an avalanche of filth. It looked… safer. There were also some decorative items placed here and there, making it a bit more pleasing to the eye.

They quickly continued down this road until they got to a dead end with a hole in the side wall. Looking in, they saw a door in front of them. It was… foreboding to say the least. The fact that it was slightly ajar didn't help. Swallowing that fear, they walked over and glanced inside.

It. Was. A mess. Not as much as the rest of the trash zone, granted, but the fact that there was clear evidence of someone living there wasn't a good sign! The table, the chair, the mattress… the crib. All but the last one were stained and gross. When their gaze shifted to the corner, they froze in shock.
That was Spamton's old rotary phone! He was the only one who insisted on keeping one. Everyone else had upgraded to the latest smartphone.

"Oh god… this is… his store???" But… it was surrounded by piles of trash and unmentionable stains! The only thing making up for the eyesore was the pretty painting on the back wall.
But that wasn't important! Spamton lived like that! In a reeking, dirty, pest infested dump. He slept on a broken mattress, black bags and random garbage littering the floor.

And he was trying to take care of a BABY in a place like this?! That… wasn't as much concerning for Sky as it was for Spam's mentality. The fact he didn't find these living conditions unacceptable was startling to Click. They couldn't imagine living in a place like that, much less raising a child in it!

During their talk, they noticed their former friend's behavior. It really was concerning. He acted very… strangely. Voice bugs aside, he really did play up that Salesman personality, only to break down into a dazed ramble or contemplative silence.
Not to be offensive to him, but he did act unstable. It would make sense why he'd believe this was a legit home if that was true. Did he feel like he deserved it? Or was he so distrusting that this was the only option? Had his nose stopped functioning from all the stench day after day?

They should have done MORE than offer help. They should have INSISTED on helping. Maybe even pleading on their knees. Please! For Sky! Anything to make him see that he deserves better. That he can't take care of a kid while living in garbage! It's not fair for either of them!
Click didn't care anymore that they might be overstepping! They would get Spamton into their house one way or another!

"HOLY [Cungadero]!!!"

Click stiffened and froze on the spot, as if they had been caught stealing. They glanced hesitantly back and saw the former number 1 himself standing in the doorway, child sat in their baby carrier. He just stared in surprise while slowly closing the door behind him.

"... H-heeeeyy… Spam…"

"WHAT AR E [my ex-friend] DO1NG [here's the deal]??"

Shoot. This was way uncomfortable. They hadn't planned on confronting him so soon! They weren't ready! They hadn't planned out what to say!

"Um… I was… looking for you." Okay. Not a lie. So far so good.

"[Why wait?]???"

Damn it. "Well… I uuuuh… need a small favor! I-I can't ask anyone else and… I'm sure this little favor won't be anything for someone like you!" Where the hell were they going with this??? Their mouth was moving on its own, just spouting any random thought.

"AH! U NEED A [what a great service!] FROM [a businessman you can trust] M.E ! ! ! WELL WELL [waterhole]! WHAT COOLD THAT [Extra flavor!] BE??2"

Crap crap crap! Stay cool! Stay cool! You can't freak out or he'll catch on!
"Um! Well… I need a… I n-n-need a house sitter!! Yes! A house sitter! Ah- I know. Kind of silly! B-But I just c-can't ask anyone else! I'm desperate here! I need your help! Please Spam!"

"WHOA [Whoa there, buckaroo!] WHO ! [Stay calm and keep-] THERE, CLICKER! DON'T FREAK 0UT ON ME! YOU'VE BEEN [sustainable] ME FOR TWO WE3KS NNOW! ! I THINK I [owe you my life]-" Spamton slapped his hands over his mouth at that glitch, his expression almost horrified.
Click looked equally surprised, mostly because of that nickname they hadn't heard in so many years, but quickly recovered with a dismissive laugh. "Don't worry! I understand those glitches must get really bad sometimes. No judgment, I promise!" They kneeled down and patted Sky on the head, earning a small grumble of indistinguishable emotion.

"GOOD!! ! THEN [IT'S A DEAL!!!]. I OWE YOOOU ANY . SO CONCIDER IT [Donezo]!!" Spamton grinned like he never had before. It was a salesman's smile, but with a hint of giddiness behind it. He reached a hand out and forcefully grabbed Click's hand for a handshake. It felt very professional, if a little overenthusiastic. Strong and firm but not too hard, smooth movement that signaled experience. Wow. Click was more than impressed, with a freaking handshake!

"Wow! That's a good shake! Now that assures me of 100% satisfaction guaranteed!"

Spamton looked up at them in surprise, his eyes slightly visible behind the glasses. They looked about ready to cry. Crap! Not the time to cause him confusing emotions! "Uuuh! Thanks for the help! If you could come home to me as soon as possible, that would be great! Bring anything you might need for Sky! You might have to stay the night, so I'll get sleeping arrangements ready for you both!"

"WH-"

"SORRY, GOTTA GO PREPARE NOW! GOODBYE, SPAMMY! I'LL SEE YOU TONIIIIIiiiiiiiight!!!" Click yelled as they hurried out the door and rushed down the alley towards the shopping district.

"...
…
[Noted:] I SHOULD R3MEMBR TOO LOCK THE DOOR."

Chapter Text

"Alright! Everything is set up! Let's just go over everything!" Click hummed excitedly as they brought up their phone and opened up their checklist.
"Hmm… Guest bedroom cleaned and made as comfortable as possible? Check. Guest BED prepped with my best blankets and pillows? Check. Get some nice clothes for Spamton so he doesn't have to wear that same outfit that probably reeks? Check check check! Buy a bassinet because why on earth would I have one prepared??? … Might need a bit more time on that one!" They rattled off the list as they wandered out the room and into the rest of the house for a once-over.

"Ok! Cleaning house? Check! Big dinner for him to heat up? Check. Lots of snacks for them both? Check. Taking out some old toys from storage? Check! Making sure that Spamton finally has a cell phone for once? Not yet. But I swear I will!" They grumbled the last part and continued ticking off boxes.
The chipper pink ad wandered into the kitchen and checked on the dinner they prepared. A perfect clipping layered lasagna, filled with the best patterns one could ask for! It had been so long since they last made it, they worried it would be a disaster! But it turned out great. Which was all they could ask for.

Sighing in satisfaction, they closed the fridge and headed out into the living room. This sure was a rushed scheme. Spamton could show up anytime and they barely finished most of the preparations!
Maybe they were overhyping this. He wouldn't freak out if their home wasn't 5 star hotel quality! It would be fine… right?
Suddenly they didn't feel so sure about their plan any longer.

*~*~*

This felt so weird. Going to Click's place after so long felt… super weird. In so many ways! None of them good.
He felt like he was intruding!
He felt like he was being tricked and trapped.
He felt like Click was trying to force some sort of friendship between them after so many years of betrayal.
He felt like Click was being too nice to him and he didn't deserve this level of familiarity.

Spamton just felt like this was wrong. So wrong. He's doing Click a favor after everything he's gone through. But… Click had also been cooking meals for him and Sky almost everyday for a while. He did owe them for that. So that's all this would be! A favor and then he'd be back to his store! He had to maintain it after all, despite his new priority.

Speaking of! Sky seemed to be extra energetic after Click's little break-in. He wasn't sure why. But it was nice watching them try to imitate the nervous gestures they had done while asking him for the favor. Click was very cartoony in their anxiety, so he understood the little lightener. Thinking that, something else came to mind.
Why hadn't they commented on the fact that the baby was a lightener? Wouldn't that be… semi unusual??? And wouldn't it be something Queen would be interested in knowing about? He… wasn't exactly sure why she would be interested in a lightener, but then again, could anything she did be explained?
But surely, Click would at least ask about the strange little detail.

Well no point in theorizing, he had to get to Click's. He should be there any moment, if memory serves.
Rounding a corner and making sure no one was around to see him, he snuck past the other houses around and approached the one he recognised. The name plate read 'Captain Click' with a pirate motif, skull and crossbones included. "I [CCTV] [CLICK THAT BELL BUTTON!] HASN'T CHANGED THEIR [Leave your opinions in] ON P1RATES ATALL" Spamton commented and shook his head with a huff, amused by the fact that seemingly nothing had changed about their taste since they fell out. It was… kind of nice. Nostalgic and silly. Those were things Spam always enjoyed.

He sighed and looked down at his bag of things, hoping they would be enough for one night away from home. It wasn't a lot, just his planning sheet, notepad, mobile, only other onesie he had for Sky, a shabby pack of bandaids and their blankie. He couldn't leave the blankie, it was their favorite punching bag! He then turned to the door and took a deep breath.

Knock Knock Knock

Very soon there was a frantic sound of shuffling behind the door, then a thud before half a second of silence, followed by more shuffling. The door then opened to reveal the friendly pink face, grinning down at him. "Spamton! Good. You're here. Oh! And hello Sky!" Click greeted them enthusiastically as they reached down and ruffled their hair. Sky just grabbed their hand and started gnawing at it with their gums.

"Uuh…"

"THERE T3ETHING.."

"Right! Of course!"

"AND THEY'RE [suffering from frequent heart attacks?] YOU>."

"Ah. Well… nothings gonna catch them off guard at least." They stepped aside for Spamton so he could come in.

As soon as he got into the living room, Spamton had to take a pause for a second. It looked… almost identical to how it did last time he was over. Down to the cowboy gun hanging on the wall, the pirate flag carpet and the shogun helmet on the bookcase. Looks like they never grew out of their 'Cool archetypes' phase. He placed down his bag and lifted Sky out of the baby carrier to sit on the carpet.

"WOWW. [Some things never change] I GUESS! ! YOU'R STILL [obsessive tendencies] WITH [50% off all kids toys!]!"

Click came in after him and scoffed in offense. "What's so wrong with my interests? I just enjoy culture!" They huffed and crossed their arms.
Spamton turned his head towards them and raised a brow in doubt. He then pointed at a wall shelf where a cutesy and cartoony ninja boy figurine stood, wearing a bright orange outfit that wouldn't hide them in the slightest. "& WHAT [part-time job] OF [it's all ancient history] IS THAT?"

The taller darkener started sputtering indignantly and put a dramatic hand to their chest. "Th-tha-that's… THAT'S A SIMPLIFICATION OF REAL HISTORY!!!"

Spamton burst out laughing at that and fell to the floor in a fit of cackles. Sky, watching their caretaker roll around and laughing like a mad man, started giggling and clapping their hands, yelling happily "HITORIE!!! HISERRY!!!"

The Addisons both froze and glanced over at the baby, yelling their attempts at forming proper words. Click's expression slowly morphed into a look of awe, rushing over to Sky and taking a hold of their tiny hands. "YOU MIMICKED ME! YOU REPEATED WHAT I SAID! THAT'S SO ADORABLE!" they were practically crying from cuteness overload.
Spamton just sat up and looked at Sky with this face of absolute betrayal. "... How could you…? I trusted you?" He hissed in a very dramatized way. Click just chuckled and played with their hands from giddiness.

*~*~*

"Here. I prepared dinner for you two. Just pop it in the microwave when I've left." Click instructed as they showed Spam around the kitchen. Sky glanced into the fridge and tried to grab a can of opened cider, but was quickly stopped by the puppet holding them. "THAT"S [not age appropriate] FOR [Kids between ages 0-18]. NO N0."

"Sorry! I should throw that away. Anyways! I put some snacks down here. There are… battery bars, mixed nuts and bolts, Cheese Puffs, Source Cream Microchips…" the pink ad rattled off the treats they had stored as they dug around in the cupboard they crouched down in front of.
"I'M ONLY STAY ING FOR [one Fun-Filled Night!]. 1S [all this and MORE!] NECESSARY???" Spamton interrupted as he walked over and closed the cupboard in front of the house owner's face.
"Oh! W-well I know! But um… it's still good to know! In case!" They excused themselves nervously and got back up from the floor.
"YOU'RE WAAAAAY TOO ANXIOUS, CLICKRR" The short darkener groaned and crossed his arms, looking slightly irritated.

"Whatever! At least I'm always prepared!"

"WHEN ARE YO [departure] ANYWAYS?2"

"OH! Um… well in a while! I don't know if you remember where the guest room is, but it's just upstairs to the right so-"

"W-W-W-W-W-WAIT!!1!"
Click jumped at the sudden glitch in his voice, looking at Spamton as he continued talking. "I'M NOT [Maid service for hire] YOUR [Luxury suite],, IT WASN'T PART 0F [The deal]!!"

Their face turned confused as they tilted their head at him. "I never asked you to be a maid. Just house sit."

"THAN Y R U [showcase] THE [guest star]?!???"

"... … … What???"

"WHY TELL [slime like me] WHERE THE [Hotel guest room] IS??"

"S-S-S-Spamton! That's where you'll be staying! I thought that was obvious!"

Spamton just stared up at them with a blank look. The room turned uncomfortably quiet

"C-come on, Spammy! You didn't expect me to put you on the couch, did you? I even prepared toys for Sky up there to play with! And I got the bed made and everything! So it's just for you to jump in when you're tired! Oh! Also, I took the liberty to get an outfit prepared for you, since I'm NOT having you laying around my home in that outfit! It absolutely reeks! You can use my washing machine for that too, and-"

"Why…?"

"H-huh?" Click was so caught up in their rambling that Spamton suddenly speaking caught them off guard.

"Why… are you pitying me like this? I'm capable of taking care of myself. I don't need your charity."

They sighed softly, seeing the mixture on his face between anger and fear. They almost felt like they understood why he was so hesitant.
"Spamton, I believe you. I really do" they assured and got down to his height. "You're a self-sufficient salesman, a talented one at that! But… that doesn't translate into being the perfect caretaker" they spoke gently as they reached out to pat Sky, who this time didn't attack them with their vicious gums and instead cooed quietly.

"Sky is my worry, not yours!" He sounded almost… defensive. Protective in a way.

"But that doesn't mean doing everything all alone! Lighteners usually have two parents taking care of them. You're only one person. You can't be expected to take on the responsibility of two people while also homeless and broke. It's not fair. To either of you. Sky needs security and you need stability. Please… all I'm asking is that you indulge yourself and them for at least one night. Please… if not for your own… for their sake."

Spamton stood frozen, glasses slowly filling with more and more static as he tried to grasp onto one of the ideas swirling around his head. He was experiencing every emotion at once, mixing into some form of hellish numbness that ran wild in his veins. He wasn't sure what to think. He wasn't sure what to feel.
He wanted to run out of there and back to the safety of his store, where everything was the same. Where he could continue to fend for himself and not have to rely on others. Others that might betray him on a whim.
But… was that really ok? For… them? Sky needed a place that was comfortable and safe. But his shop had been just fine until then! It wasn't so bad until he could find a way for Swatch to take them. But was it enough? Was fine really enough for a baby?

It was a choice between a risky leap of faith or a certain promise for lackluster care. Should he be taking risks with a precious life on the line?

"SPAMTON!!! SPAMTON SNAP OUT OF IT!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?!" Click's voice was so far away, he could barely understand what they were saying. The static was getting so loud. He couldn't hear them through it all. In fact, were they even talking? Was Click still there? That didn't sound like them anymore. It sounded like a ringing phone.
Right! The phone! He forgot the phone at the store. He should go get it. He might miss a call from [Mike]. He is missing a call. He should answer. He has to answer.

But he couldn't. He couldn't move. It wasn't like his body was paralyzed. More like something was restraining him. It felt… like someone held him. Before he could start to panic about that fact, a familiar sensation filled his body, starting at his chest. This tranquility and comfort, like the heat radiating from a fireplace as you lay on a really soft carpet. It made the static in his vision clear up, revealing a shoulder and a pink ponytail hanging over it.

Click was hugging onto him tightly, gripping him with shaking hands. He had somehow held onto Sky throughout that episode and he could faintly see a yellow glow coming from their direction. Ah. That explains the feeling.
He noticed the taller darkener's grip loosening a little, as well as their body growing less tense. Were they… also experiencing Sky's magic?

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I'm such a screw-up. I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. But I can't take it. I can't see you living like that. You were such a wonderful friend. You deserve so much better…"

He could hear the tears in their voice, which sounded so raw and emotional. It made him feel this heat in his chest, melting any and all walls he had built up around his heart.

"I… I… I don't. I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve Sky. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve a home. My entire career was a scam. I just took the easy road to victory and now my life is in ruins because of it! I sold my soul for money and fame! I ignored my own friends because of some stupid… stupid phonecall…"

"D-don't say that! It's not true! E-even if your… your success was because of some shady phone caller, that doesn't mean you deserved all you went through! I should have been there! I should have supported you when… Oh god! You are worth so much to me! You're worth so much to the world! Without you, Sky would probably not even be here! They could have been…" Click's voice devolved into soft sobs.

"... They could have been dead because of me. I had an urge… this… voice in my head… telling me to… … …They're not safe with me. I'm… I'm a broken puppet."

"No! You're not! You are… a strong man who fought against your own demons to keep a defenseless child safe! You are probably the toughest guy I've ever known! And I'll be damned if I let this city wear you down! I messed up once! But I won't do it again! Spamton. I know you're strong enough to overcome whatever it is that's plaguing you. These glitches, this… doubt. You are so much better than you think! Than anyone in this city thinks! You're… You're Spamton G. Spamton!"

He wanted to scoff at that. Such a cheesy, meaningless statement, said so frivolously. But, for some reason, it really moved him. He felt extremely touched by those positive words. It felt encouraging, like he really had defeated impossible odds and come out stronger. He let tears roll down his cheeks as he removed his glasses with his free hand, the baby safely held in the hug they were currently in.

"I… I'm scared. I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want to lose them. I just want peace."

"I know. I'm also scared. But I swear I'll do whatever I can to help you. I'll give my all to help. I've missed you so much and I'm not going to let you down again. That's the least you deserve" The pink Addison sighed sadly and reached up to gently run their fingers through his… greasy hair. But they didn't care, they just cared about their old friend and his child.

"... Is it really fine? I don't have anyway o-"

"Shhhh. Spamton. You don't have to do anything for me. This is me making up for the things I've done to you. I owe you a lot, and this is the start of me paying back."

"... … Thank you, Clicker."

"Anytime, Spammy."

Finally, they pulled back from the hug and both had to clear their eyes from all the tears. That was sure an emotional rollercoaster to have on the kitchen floor. Spamton noticed Sky's soul for a split second as it was slowly fading back into their body. He'd have to thank them for it later.

Knock. Knock. Knock knock knock.

Both the people on the floor jumped at the loud sound, their bodies frozen in shock. Click looked to Spam, who gave them a small nod and held the child closer. They nodded back and got up, walking out of the kitchen and over to the door.

As soon as they opened, they were greeted by a loud 'HEY' from Flash as she jumped out at them.

"GAH! F-Flash???"

"Not just Flash" a deeper voice spoke as a blue head poked out from behind the door too and grinned.

"S-Survey?"

"Aaaaaaaand… Banner~! Please, hold your applause!" The orange Addison pushed in front of the other two as he showed himself off, like a model or something.

"What… What are you guys doing here?" They asked their three friends confused.

"Well, Banner wanted to treat us all for a round at the bar because of the success of his latest deal" Survey explained and swayed back and forth on his feet absentmindedly.

"YES! It was great! I just had to invite you out for something special! This one was a really good one, let me tell ya!" Banner confirmed with a smug grin.

Flash looked up at Click and suddenly tensed up as she gave them a once-over. "Click? What's the matter? Have you been crying?" She asked and tilted her head.

"U-um! Y-yeah! Don't worry. It was just… some drama, was all. Don't worry about it!"

"You gotta stop watching that stuff! You cry like a baby at the smallest thing!"

"But anyways! Back to what's important! Are you coming then? My car's ready to go!" Banner quickly interrupted the yellow Addison, who growled and gave him a smack on the back.

Click simply looked between them all, then glanced back down the hallway in Spamton's general direction. They frowned and sighed, knowing they wouldn't be able to act like everything was normal after… that.

"Sorry guys… but I think I'm gonna sit this one out. I'm not feeling good today."

"Aaaaw. Why? Something happened?" Survey asked.

"It's just… my… my anxiety, you know? I'm just too low energy today and I need to recharge."

"Oh. Ok! We understand! You've gotta take care of your mental health. We get that. It's a little disappointing, but maybe I can take you out some other time! That sounds like a good deal?" Banner reassured them as he reached out his hand for a shake on it.
Click wasn't up for a 'deal' so they just smiled and gave him a half hug, then pulled back again. "Absolutely. I'd love to. Let's talk about it later in the week, ok?"

"Of course! I'll text you! Bye!" He waved at them as he and the other two headed back to his car and soon drove off.

Click closed the door and sighed, sliding down to the floor as they leaned back against it.
"WHY DIDN,T [YOU WON'T BELIEVE THESE PRICES!!!] GO WIFF THEM??2" Spamton suddenly asked as he stood in front of them with Sky sleeping in his arms.

They just smiled at him and chuckled tiredly. "I wasn't lying. I have no more energy to spend on them. I'd much rather spend some time with you two right now. How about a movie? Anything you'd like!"

"... HOW ABOUT [Pirates of the Caribbean]?"

"Oh Frick off, you dork. Now you're just making fun of me!"

"... … … [Maybe]."

Chapter Text

His body felt… wet. All over. It was a warm type of wet, one that left his silicon skin tingling in discomfort.
Spamton's vision slowly faded in from the black nothingness of unconsciousness and became nothing but green as far as the eye could see.

In an instant, panic set in and he started thrashing around, feeling the resistance of the battery acid as he tried to swim up towards whatever surface there could be. His body was weak, chest unable to fill with air as he couldn't do anything but hold his breath and ignore the searing pain.

But before he could get far, something reached out and gripped onto his leg, pulling him back down into the depths. In fear, the puppet looked down at the weight around his ankle.
It was the Neo suit, face empty aside from the phone receiver floating out of its gaping hole. Its hand was wrapped tightly around him, pulling him further down with it.

"Spamton… it's impolite to not answer when someone's calling you…"

That voice flowed from the phone so loudly and clearly, it was as if he was being spoken to through a pair of headphones. It sent treamours through his body and sent him into another panicked frenzy, desperately trying to break himself free. He couldn't breathe! He was drowning! He was burning! He was going to die! And no one was around to-

As that thought passed his mind, he felt something brush against his outstretched hand. Out of instinct, he gripped the item as tightly as he could. It then started tugging. He opened his eyes to try and see what was pulling against the Neo suit, but it was way too blurry to tell.

"Wh… what?"

Even Mike sounded surprised. He was never surprised by anything! How could he be caught off guard?!
Then the grip on his leg was released as he was jerked upwards, whatever he was holding leading him up towards the surface. It didn't take long for him to emerge from the liquid, taking a deep, desperate breath as he did. But another splash behind him got his attention and he turned, seeing the phone floating gently on the battery acid.

"Where are you going? Who said you could-"

Mike was cut off as Spamton was suddenly hoisted up from the pool by something pushing him up from underneath. It was…

… A yellow… heart-shaped pool floaty?

"HUHHH?? ? ?"

That was all he could get out before he heard a shout from behind him.

"AVAST YE! Better get ye mitts of me matey before I blow ye scurvy dog sky-high!"

That sounded like…

"N0 [@#&¢]ING WAY…" the puppet turned his head, only to be met with the strangest view he'd ever seen.
A pirate ship, not that big but a ship all the same. On the ship, pointing a cutlass straight at the floating telephone, was Click! They were dressed in, frankly, the most ridiculous and excessive pirate costume Spamton had ever seen. It was as shocking as it was comedic.
Standing beside them was Sky in a way cuter outfit, a one piece costume that looked like a shark.

"... What in the world is all this? Spamton, since when did your head get this ridiculous?"

THE HELL WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! IT WASN'T HIS FAULT THAT CLICK WAS ACTING WEI-

Not getting to finish that thought, he was suddenly pulled out by the scruff of his neck and placed right beside the two, the taller of which gave a stoic grin before making another motion with their weapon.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!" They shouted before holding onto their 'Mateys' as a cannon shot was heard.

"CLICK11! WHAT IS [going out with friends?] RIGHT NOW!"

"Aye. Ye need not worry, Spammy. Yer safe with Captain Click" they simply responded, not answering the confused rescue.

"You! Get out of here! You're only getting in the way!"

Click looked over at the phone and smirked the smuggest grin anyone had ever seen.
"Eat me gunpowder, scrap metal!" Then another shot rang out, causing a big splash that rocked the ship, sending Spamton rolling backwards.

*~*~*

THUD

The white Addison groaned as he felt a dull ache in his shoulder. He slowly opened his eyes and glanced around the floor he found himself laying on. He was tangled up in a blanket and wearing a pair of snug fleece pajamas, face firmly planted on a carpeted floor.

"...WHER3 IN [the heaven's pearly gates] AM I? ?" He mumbled and carefully pushed himself up onto his knees, giving his aching head a soothing rub. Looking up at the wall, his question was quickly answered by the poster of a cowboy riding his horse, silhouetted by the setting sun. Yep! That's when it all clicked. He then immediately chastised himself for the dumb pun and began getting up from the ground, tossing the blanket onto the bed.

That was, without a doubt, the best night's sleep he'd ever had in his life. At least… recently. The dream was weird and all, but at least it wasn't his usual nightmares. Though he'd definitely never marathon movies with Click ever again. That's when it hit him, like an anvil from the heavens themselves.
"I dreamed…" Usually, whenever he went to sleep, it would either be completely dreamless or an awful nightmare. In rare cases, it would be a visit from [him]. But this time, it was the nonsensical mess of recent events that he hadn't experienced in so long.

He silently celebrated this fact while flipping the bird to the air in hopes of Mike seeing it. Then the Addison sighed happily and walked out the room and headed for the stairs.

"Alright! And this is Curly Beard! He's a pirate! Do you know what a pirate says?" He could hear his host from the living room, presumably talking to the baby. Must have woken up before he did.
"Beeeeeegh! Schodd!" Sky extended their speech, as if making sure what they said was understood properly. That's his kid! Condescending people even from the age of one!

"No no! The pirate says 'ARRR!'."

"AAAAA PTHTHTHTH" they simply blew a raspberry at the adult trying to teach them, earning a slight chuckle. "G-good try! But you need the R to roll a little. Like this! ARRRRRRR!"

Spamton just watched them from the doorway, seeing the two laying on their stomachs on the floor, action figures and dolls scattered between the two.
"Aaaaargh." Hey! They almost got it!
"Good job! You're a fast learner!" Hardly, but he'd let Click believe they had actually taught the child something.

"[Good mythical morning] KIDZ! HAVING [Fun-sized snack pack] WITH SOME YOUR OWN [Ages 1+]???" Spamton interrupted the two as he walked in and kneeled down to Sky, who reached up to him with grabby hands right away. He, of course, obliged.

"You are so mean to me! I invite you here, and you don't appreciate my wonderful aesthetic??? Shame on you!" Click spoke in an obviously fake hurt tone, rolling over and putting a hand to their forehead.
"YOUR [Artistic expression] 1S GIVIN G ME [strange and bizarre] [APPLY TO YOUR DREAM JOB NOW!!!]!" he grumbled in response before sitting down on the couch with the baby.

"Ooooooooh~???" They got up off the floor and leaned in closer, devilish grin spreading on their face.
"I'M NOT TELLING U" he ended that conversation and focused back on Sky, rubbing their fuzzy scalp.
"Party pooper…" they muttered with a pout before standing back up properly. "I'm making breakfast then! It'll be French Toast with blueberries!"

"FANCY."

"Well I have a guest over, don't I? Wanna show off my cooking!"

"LIKE [yesterday's news] WITH THE [shift masking layer to 50% opacity]?"

"You scarfed it down, did you not?"

"I HAVE [eated] LITTER ALL [throw it out with the trash!]."

"You're welcome!"
The conversation fizzled out as Click disappeared into the kitchen, leaving their two guests to entertain themselves in the living room.

Spamton just sighed and looked down at Sky, who was chewing at their fingers, clearly fuzzy and hungry.
"... [How to do a] DO THAT? ?2" he began, then quickly shook his head to try again. "HOW DOES YOU R [it works like magic!] DO THAT?" He sighed and rubbed their head, watching them tilt it at him in curiosity. "I HAVEN'T BEEN THAT [Open for repair] IN [never. ever.]. YOU M4DE ME [voice of reason] TO CL1ICK. THEY [sweet sound of] HONEST 2. [Spill the [PEPIS]]. BOTH OF USZ."
Of course, the baby, being a baby, didn't answer him and instead reached out to pull on his nose with their saliva covered hand. He shuddered at the texture, but decided to ignore it.

"WHAT [Type A diabetes] MAGIC IS [That's all, folks!]?? NOT H3ALING. NOT [BRAINWASHED SHEEP!]. YOU… YU CAN [Cause severe [comfort] and [vulnerability]]. I'VE [Never seen prices like these!] BEFORE IN MY [lowlife]." He sighed and gave them a small hug, those complicated emotions from yesterday coming back, but not as strongly.
"SHOULD [your favorite car seller] BE [fear] OR [Thank you!] FOR THAT? WELL.. , IT [got milk?] ME INTO A [Comfortable affordable living space] [for no extra payments!]. SO… … Thank you…"
Sky looked up at him and blubbered something quietly before nuzzling his shoulder.

"SPAMTON!!!"

He jumped at the shout, almost launching himself into the coffee table. But he managed to catch himself. "YES, CLICK?!?!!!"

"DO YOU WANT SYRUP OR NO SYRUP ON YOUR TOAST??"

"WHAT D0 YOU [think again] I AM, A [Lowly court jester]??!?? NO WAY [José]!!!"

"GEEZ! SORRY! DIDN'T KNOW SPAMTON G. SPAMTON WAS A SYRUP HATER!"

The puppet just let out a soft sigh and shook his head, unable to believe they would think that he would want syrup on toast. Like they were pancakes or something! What sort of nonsense wa-

"SBATOM!"

He was even more shocked at the second time his name was called, since that time it wasn't Click. He looked down at Sky, eyes wide behind his glasses. "... Wh… what did you say…?" He must have heard them wrong.

"SBANDON!"

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Syrup on toast was one thing, but this was UNBELIEVABLE. "S-say it again!"

"S… SB… sp… Spam… don! Spamdon!"

Click suddenly poked their head in the room, eyes also wide, but not nearly as wide as 'Spamdon's'. He started laughing softly, tears pooling up in the corners of his eyes before he leaned in and started pressing his teeth against their cheek. He couldn't kiss them, but boy did he wish he could!

"THAT,S [Left] SWEETPEA!!! I'M [Spamdon]!!!1!2! THAT'S [Number 1 Rated carer]!!!" He giggled in glee as he kept bonking his teeth against their face, floods of joy trailing down his red cheeks. Sky started squealing and sputtering sounds of glee as they were peppered with attempted kisses. Click stood by the doorway, trying their best to hold back tears.

"Sniff oh my god… that's the cutest thing ever…"

Then they realized they left the pan on the stove when they could smell a hint of smoke and quickly ran back to the kitchen.

"MY SW3ET LIT TLE [[Angel]]!! IS TH1S [Heaven]?" Spamton just rambled from pure joy and continued blubbered incoherently, feeling like he might dehydrate if he didn't stop the waterworks. But he couldn't. Not with this adorable little tyke giving him a cuteness induced heart attack!

Chapter Text

Now I have a perfect design for my ads! I didn't actually intend on including them as much as I did, but I feel as though they'll get a somewhat bigger role as side characters.

Plus i honestly just felt like drawing them for fun (and reference for the future)

Alright! Headcanon time!

Click (pink): They/Them

Very emotional and anxious. A people pleaser and a bleeding heart. Very very bad at lying and tends to get taken advantage of. Closeted role player, loves TRPGs. Kindhearted. Loves childrens media. Best baker and cook. 

Flash (Yellow): She/Her

Tough as nails and a bit of a jokester. A rude and crude brute. Protective of her friends. Secretly cares very deeply for her close friends, including Spamton. Overworking caffeine addict. Works as a carpenter and metalsmith. 

Survey (Blue): He/Him

Calm and collected. Laid back, but very serious and professional. Sleepy 24/7. Takes jokes and sarcasm at face value. Stoner vibes. Magic shoulder bag. All clothes MUST be comfortable or there will be violence. Loves writing. 

Banner(Orange): He/Him

Loud and boisterous. Big ego and big brain. Is not afraid to lie his face off. Talented liar. Surprisingly nice. Uncomfortable with complex feelings. Splurges on gifts. Germaphobe. Passionate about cars.

Chapter Text

Spamton wasn't sure he'd ever had to go on such a tense, heart pounding outing before. He had dumpster dived behind authentic weapon shops, stolen goods from people ten times his size and literally broken into the queen's mansion on numerous occasions. And yet, none of those compared to what he was about to do at that moment.

"Spa- Um… buddy? Everything alright? Don't worry, it's just a clothing store. No one will recognise you, promise!" Click finally spoke up as they kneeled down to the masked, heavily dressed up Spamton, holding tightly onto the baby 'tasque' in his arms, looking a whole lot like a kid wearing a tasque outfit. The animal chewed grumpily at their fabric-esq paws and started kicking.

Ever since Sky started walking on their own a bit more reliably, they had been very adamant about showing off that skill. But Spamton would not put them down out of fear of someone sweeping them up and bolting. Or them wandering off somewhere.

"S-Spam…?" He then remembered he was being spoken to and turned towards the kneeling darkener. 

"S-S-[apologies] CLICK! I AM [hyperlink blocked], JUST [dread] 1S ALL!"

"I… assume those glitches are exaggerating. But it's going to be fine! As long as you… don't talk, no one should recognise you! W-W-W-WAIT! That sounds bad! I-I didn't mean anything-"

"I [can't understand you!]... OPPO SITE. I'LL [Shut mah pie hole] FOR THE TIM3 BEING."

"Pah hoe" Sky suddenly mumbled and wriggled in the disguised puppet's hold.

"[Incorrect X2]. U ARE A [Stinky tasque]. YOU S4Y [meow.mp3]." He had tried training them to make tasque sounds whenever they wear the tasque themed onesie. It had… varying results.

"Let's… let's just go in. I'm sure no one will give us a passing glance. Come on!" Click finally put a hand on his back and started leading him inside. His heartbeat started picking up and he felt a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. He wasn't ready for this! He regrets coming along!

But as he was going to protest, the three had already passed through the doors and stood in the middle of the entrance to the rest of the shop. He immediately clammed up and remained completely silent, afraid to make even a single sound in case his glitches would make it really loud. 

Click started walking towards the 'Small' section of clothing with a pep in their step, humming excitedly. Spamton quickly unfroze and rushed to catch up with his friend, still clutching the child as tightly as he could.

*~*~*

" OOOOOH! Buddy! Look at this! Oh wouldn't you just look dashing in a turtleneck~!" The Addison swooned as they held out a dusty-green knitted sweater, looking like something you'd get from grandma for christmas. 

Spamton, scowling at the article of clothing, quickly shook his head at the suggestion.

"Awe man. Another dud. But then… How about this dark blue flannel shirt? I think you'd fit nicely in a flannel!"

Spam inspected the shirt quietly, seemingly considering it. He then moved over to a red shirt and pointed at it, then the flannel. 

"Um… those two?"

He shook his head and tried again.

"Hmmmmmmm… oh! Red flannel!"

He nodded and walked back over to Click to see the red version. Bringing it down to him, he looked it over and gave a confident nod.

"Alright! One outfit down! Let's look at some pants. What's your go to? Dress pants? Cargo? Jeans? Corduroys?"

Spamton elbowed Click with an irritated grunt.

"Huh? Oh! Right! Well… let's just take a look around!"

As they looked over the pants selection, Spamton groaned a bit and shifted Sky around, hoping to relieve the ache starting to grow in his arms. Click looked over at him and furrowed their eyebrows in concern. 

"Hey… why don't you put them down for a second? They can walk now, right? Just hold their hand!" They suggested nervously and hung back a pair of pants that were too small.

He adamantly shook his head and held them closer, only for Sky to whine loudly and flail about in frustration. He gasped and tried to calm them down by bouncing them lightly on his hip, but they only started smacking his chest and babbling angrily.

"C-come on, just put them down! You'll get yourself hurt!" Click stuttered and moved over to help settle them down. Sky seemed completely set on not being carried and they kept whining at the injustice they were experiencing. Finally, Click got Spamton to set Sky down on the floor, sighing in satisfaction. 

"See? They're perfectly fine. Just hold they're hand and-"

"Click? That you?"

They shot up straight and went rigid in shock, feeling like the world just delivered a firm slap across their face. They turned around and smiled nervously. "Heyyyyy! Survey!"

The puppet was gripped with fear as he heard that, feeling his fight or flight response kicking in full force. He grabbed Sky by the hand and pulled them into a circular display rack to hide.

"Who were you talking to?"

"Oh! Just a new acquain-" as Click turned to introduce 'not-Spamton' to Survey, they noticed he had upped and vanished. 

"Uuuuh… he… must have walked off somewhere. I'm sure he'll return soon!"

"Ok. What was that loud sound? Sounded like a… dying tasque."

"Could have been!"

"Y-yeah… um… how are you doing? You look… tired."

"Ha! You're one to talk!"

Survey tilted his head and looked at them blankly.

"... Uh… lots going on recently. Emotions have been running high. I'm sorry about not coming along to Banner's celebration."

"It's alright. You really seemed upset, so I don't blame you. But… is there something else going on? You've seemed especially flighty and distant lately."

Spamton shivered and peeked out from the curtain of pants, his panic only intensifying at the ever observant Survey's comment. 

"I… I really don't want to talk about it, Survey. It's… just not something I can talk about. Please…"

"..." The blue Addison crossed his arms and stared at Click, seemingly trying to read their face and body language for any hint of what type of problem it might be. If he should be concerned.

Spamton was frozen in fear, praying to whatever heaven might be watching him that he drops it and let it be. Meanwhile, Sky was sitting behind him and sucking on their onesie paw. That was, until they heard something interesting and peeked out of their hiding spot to check it out.

Outside of the sliding glass doors to the shop was a large, cute, majestically groomed tasque who was sitting on the ground and cleaning its paws, letting out a pleased meow. They recognised the noise as what Spamton had taught them and grinned brightly. So they snuck out from the pants and started waddling over towards the pretty looking creature.

As the doors slid open, the tasque jumped in surprise and stood at attention, as if ready to defend itself. Then it looked down and saw the tiny little thing slowly approaching. Sky looked up at the tasque and got very excited, wanting to show off how they can also make that sound.

"Meooooooow!" They said loudly and waited for the animal to respond.

The tasque inspected the small creature, trying to comprehend what it was. It looked like a tasque. It sounded like a tasque. It leaned down and let out a quiet "meorr?"

Sky excitedly responded with "Maow!" and took another step. But they stumbled over their feet and fell to the ground, starting to tear up and whimper. The tasque meowed back and grabbed Sky by the back of their onesie with its mouth, sitting them up and licking the little scratch on their face. Sky sniffled before they cooed quietly and nuzzled the caring animal.

This was, clearly, a baby tasque. That was the only thing that made sense to the bigger one as it curled around them and gave some nice little snuggles back. What a sweet little baby. But where is its parent?

"Timberly~! Oh dearie~! We must return to the mansion! Where are you~?" A sing-songy voice called out before making 'pspsps' sounds. The creature perked up at the sound, recognising that voice. It looked down at Sky, who tilted their head at it.

It couldn't leave this poor thing alone. What if it was an orphan? Or hungry? It should bring them along! It grabbed Sky again in its mouth and started walking off with them.

"Timberly! Timber- Oh! There you are, sweetie! What do you have there?" TasqueManager hummed as she walked over to the approaching animal, looking down at the small addition curiously. Timberly meowed and presented the kid to her. Sky looked up at her and repeated the meow softly.

"Aaaaw~. What a little cutie you found! But it's so small! It must be malnourished! Oh you poor little baby! Don't worry. I'll manage that for you. Come on, sweetheart" TasqueManager spoke softly as she picked up the child, then sat them down on top of Timberly. "We got some nice tasque food for you back at the mansion!" She quickly added before they were off.

*~*~*

As all of that was happening, Click had finally managed to get out of the interrogation with Survey as he waved them off before leaving. 

"Aaaaah… I think I barely avoided a heartattack! Hey! Hey sp- I mean… are you there, dude?" They called out and looked around for Spamton worriedly.

He quickly emerged from the hiding place, legs shaking and his head glitching slightly, causing the mask to fall to the floor. He looked like a mess.

"Oh my god! Are you ok? Hey, it's alright. It's fine. He's gone now. It's safe" they tried to reassure him as they got on their knees and put a hand on his shoulder to stabilize him. He took a few deep breaths, trying to fend off the approaching static. It was hard to stay focused when he got so panicked, the imaginary sounds of TV static and ringing phones only adding to the misery. He had to stay grounded. He couldn't slip up.

"Hey. Maybe we can try again another time. For now, let's take Sky and go back home" the pink salesperson sighed and gave him a comforting backrub. Spamton just nodded and turned around in a daze, going back to the rack to fetch them.

But they weren't there.

His code ran cold and his eyes darted around, searching for them in an entirely new bout of panic. 

"S-sky…? SKY?!?!?!" he blurted out without thinking and flew out of the hiding place. He dashed around the nearby shelves and looked inside any more racks around, causing quite the noticeable ruckus. People started staring and Click followed after him. "Wh-what's wrong?! Weren't they there?!?"

He jumped up onto the counter and looked behind it, once again coming out empty-handed. Spamton felt his heart sink way beyond the pit of his stomach and go all the way down into Mike's hellish void. He began hyperventilating and gripping at his hair, the large hat that was used as a disguise pushed off to the floor.

"D-dude! Calm down! Please! Just breathe!" Click tried desperately to calm him down as they hesitated to touch him in his current state.

He wasn't even listening. The puppet only had one thought on his mind. One worry. One question.

" WH-WHE-WH-WHERE IS MY BABY!?!?!"

As he yelled that, he ran out of the store without another word. He was off like a speeding bullet, leaving a scared Click behind.

"W-wait!!! COME BACK!!!" They called out and went to go after him.

"SPAMTON!!! WAIT! SLOW DOWN!" They yelled as they tried to catch up with the short but fast ad.

He was frantic, running around wherever his eyes landed in hopes of finding his precious little bundle of joy. His head was spinning, his heart was beating at his ribcage in a desperate attempt to escape his body. He could barely see where he was going, he just knew he had to find them and that he could only do that by fine-combing every inch of Cyber World.

But his taller friend finally caught up and held him stuck in a tight hug of sorts so he wouldn't run around like a mad man. "Please! Calm down! You're glitching the disguise off!"

"[@&#*] U [Click now!]!!1! ! ! Y0U [tell you what?] 2 PUT [the sky's the limit] DO-O-OW-WN!!! TH IS 1S [your betrayal]!!!!?!! SKY IIZ [mia] BECAUESE [200%OFF!!!] YO-O-OU! ! !1!" Spamton just yelled and glitched, pretty much completely incoherent because of his increasing glitches. He was thrashing and screeching while struggling to break free and continue looking for his baby.

"SPAMTON CALM THE HELL DOWN OR YOU MIGHT NEVER GET TO SEE SKY AGAIN!!!" Click suddenly erupted as they gripped him by the shoulders and stared him down with the most intense glare they've ever had.

That caused the panicked Addison to completely seize his escape attempt and become stiff in their grip, eyes staring blankly back at them.

"Good. Now that you've stopped freaking out, we have to come up with a plan on how to find them. Do you have any sort of way to track them? Phone? Hypersensitive smell? Finding magic???"

Spamton shivered a little as he thought over all the possible ways he could have prevented this from happening. He shook his head while still staring at the other's serious eyes.

"Damn it. Then this just got increasingly harder. Hmm… I have an idea, it's a little risky but it's our only option. Do you trust me in this?"

He wasn't sure how to respond. His vision was becoming more and more staticy as he tried his very hardest to focus on his friend instead of the muffled voice in his head growing louder.

"Don't, Spamton. You know how well that went last time."

When he blinked back to reality again, Click was already on their phone, calling someone. He could barely make out the person on the other end. 

"Click? What's up?"

"Survey! I need your help! Do you remember the noise you heard in the store?"

"... Yes. I do."

"Well, I have to tell you, it was a tasque. The one I was talking to. And now it's missing!"

"Ok? Why exactly is that a problem?"

"Because it's my tasque, Survey!"

"Since when did you have a-"

"IT'S NOT IMPORTANT! I just need you to keep an eye out for it! Please! Its name is Sky! It's a lot smaller than a regular tasque and is missing its tail! If you see it, tell me immediately! I'm gonna call the others about it too!"

"... Ok. I'll keep my eyes peeled. Hope everything goes well. I'll contact Banner about it to save you time."

"Thank you! Thank you so much! Call as soon as you can! Bye!" Click hurriedly hung up and looked down at Spamton.

"Ok! Survey should still be nearby, so let's move towards the trash zone and search there!"

He was left stunned, even more than earlier, and tried his hardest to come up with a response. His brain was all over the place, not only keeping track of his own thoughts, but also doing its best to ignore Mike's voice trying to butt-in.

"... I… I didn't… m-mean what I…"

"I know, Spam. It's ok. Let's just focus on getting your kid back! Come on!" They assured him before grabbing his hand and pulling him along towards Spamton's usual neighborhood.

Chapter Text

"Oooooh~ aren't you just the cutest little thing? And so well behaved! I almost just want to keep you for myself!" TasqueManager cooed gleefully as she walked beside Timberly, giving the baby tasque some light little head rubs.

Sky enjoyed this ride, it was so much fun! Usually they had to sit all wrapped up in that tight baby carrier, barely able to move their limbs. But riding on the back of this cool feline creature was a lot of fun! So was trying to imitate the noises it made. Like that sputtering sound, reminding them of Click's funny 'pirate' noise. 

"Prrrrrrr!" They purred, focused on making it sound exactly the same.

"Ah! You like Timberly, hm? That makes me so glad! Who would leave such a polite and orderly little tasque alone, hungry on the streets? If you have an owner, they are not a good one! Maybe… I should keep you! Train you to be a good and strong tasque someday!" The lady continued with her one-sided conversation as she walked through Cyber City in the direction of the mansion.

But she was stopped as she heard her name being called from somewhere.

"Manager! Hello!" The all too familiar, deep, smooth voice called out as a monochrome shape drew closer.

"Swatch! What a delight to see you here!" She greeted the butler with a curtsy, which was returned with a bow of their own. 

"Pleasure is all mine. Say, what are you doing in town today? Any disorder in need of correction?" Swatch hummed pleasantly as they stood up straight with that usual proper posture they never seemed to drop.

"Oh you know, just doing my usual rounds to check for any chaos while taking Timberly on a little walk!"

"Ah. I see. And how did that go for you? Anything of interest?"

"Well no chaos, really. But I did find something else!"

TasqueManager turned around and picked up the kid, holding them out for Swatch to see. They seemed very shocked by that, especially since this tasque looked a little… dirty. Seeing the specs of filth made their feathers rise in discomfort.

"Uuh… a baby tasque? I… see."

"Timberly found the poor little thing. She brought them to me and I can tell why. They are so very small for a baby. It must be underfed. So, I took it upon myself to take care of them!"

"Ah! What a noble gesture. Truly, you're not just organized beyond words, but kind as well."

"Oh stop it you! No need to speak so eloquently while off the clock! You can just say that it was nice."

"Well then… that is very nice of you." 

She giggled and held Sky against her chest, giving a couple of gentle pats.

Sky looked up at the new person, but wasn't able to see more than their costume because of their hood hanging in the way.

"So what about you, Swatch? What brought you to town?"

"Oh just a simple stroll. I also had the strong urge to buy something specific from the local bakery. I've been dying to have an eclair ever since I woke up!"

"I understand. Sometimes you just need something different than the mansion's me-" before she could finish her conversation, a yell caught her attention. They both looked over and saw a Virovirokun having a fight with an Ambyu-Lance. And it sure didn't look like a small brawl.

"Oh darn it! And here I thought today would be peaceful!" She sighed and looked over at her bird-like co-worker. "Swatch. Could you please take care of the baby while I deal with this? Go and buy it some food so it won't be so hungry!" She then instructed as she handed over the kid without waiting for an answer. 

"W-wait! Hold on a moment! I don't know how to take care o-" before they could protest the request, they were already left with a little tasque in their arms while TasqueManager headed over to the scuffle.

They stood there silently, just staring after her before letting out a big sigh and looking down at the kid. "Guess it's just you and me then. Come. Let us head to the store and get you something to eat."

As they were walking off towards the nearest grocery store, Sky was finally able to move the hood away far enough to make out the entire person holding them.

They recognised the features of this person. A lot of features they knew very well. A white face with a long pointy end, black hair that was slicked back, ending in some curled spikes, the yellow gleam coming from the lense of the glasses situated on the pale face.

They knew exactly who this was!

"SPAMDON!!!" they cheered and started reaching out towards their surprisingly tall caretaker.

Swatch stopped right in their tracks and stood still for a tense second, brain trying to slowly process what exactly just happened.

"... … … What?" Was all they could say as they looked down at the animal that just spoke to them out of nowhere.

"Spamdon Spamdon Spamdon!" They kept chanting as they wriggled around so they could attempt to climb the butler, wanting to get closer to their face for… some reason.

Swatch just stood there and stared, not sure what exactly to question first. The fact that the tasque just talked? Or the thing they just said, which sounded hauntingly familiar?

"H-how… did you say-? How are you-? You can-?" They just kept cutting themselves short, not sure what exactly they were trying to ask.

Suddenly, as if their arm was moving on its own, it raised up towards the child and was laid against its head. They then swooped back their wing and was met with the face of the tasque being pulled off, revealing it to be a hood. 

They stood dumbfounded, staring wide-eyed at what appeared to be a lightener in their arms, currently gripping onto their shoulders to keep balance.

"... What in the Queen's glory is this?" They just mumbled and kept staring.

Sky tilted their head, looking confused as they looked over the person again. Where were the red cheeks? The big smile? Why was the other lense orange and not pink? This wasn't Spamton! They looked like him, but they sure weren't!

"S-sp… spam… don?" They mumbled softly and shrunk down into the hold of the butler.

Something about the way they spoke, the way they looked at them and the way they acted around them earlier, caused Swatch's heart to melt. Oh goodness. What a precious little thing. I should be worried about seeing a lightener, but how can I be scared of such a sweet baby like this?

"Hey… hey there. It's alright. Don't be frightened. I won't hurt you. It's ok. It's ok." They just spoke calmly and soothingly, moving the kid so they were laying down in a cradle position for them to rock.

Well they… weren't Spamton. But they looked like him! And they were nice like him! This person must be a good person.

That's when a memory resurfaced, or rather, a word or a name they had heard multiple times, including recently.

"[Entertainment for all ages] FOR A WHILE- WHILE I [planing on retirement?] H0W TO [gotten] YO U 2 SWATCH!"

"C [This authentic artpiece]?? THAT S [The queen's head butler] SWATCH! ! TH3YY'll [Provide 5 star service] YOU SOON!"

"Sky… I wish you could stay… but I can't take care of you. I'm broken. Swatch will give you the life you deserve…"

"Swatch! What a delight to see you here!"

That… must be them! The person Spamton always talks about!

"S… s… saaash…" they said, unsure in their tone. Swatch smiled gently and rubbed their head. "It's ok. It will be fine. I'll… sort all this out somehow…" they grumbled thoughtfully.

"Suaaaa… svuuuh… suash… suuaaach!" Sky mumbled and shifted a little, too distracted by their own thoughts to pay attention to what they were saying.

"... … Wait a second. Are you… are you trying to… say my name???" They were stunned by the level of communication skills this child had, having assumed them young enough to have difficulty even moving on their own.

"Schwats! Sewats!" 

"H-ho-how… how do you know my name? You couldn't have learnt it from TasqueManager, could you? Babies don't pick up on stuff like that that fast… do they???" 

This was becoming a lot for the poor Swatchling as he rubbed his head in confusion. That's when he heard something else coming from the baby. This time, it was a gurgling belly.

"Ah! My bad! You must be hungry! Well let's head to a restaurant and get you properly fed, hm?"

"Kick foo?"

"... Yes. So let's go."

*~*~*

Spamton looked around a corner into an alleyway. He saw some trashbags, a dumpster and some graffiti on the wall about respecting authority or something. No Sky. He rushed over to the dumpster and shoved it open, starting to dig through while shouting "SKY!!!"

In the distance, he could hear Click's voice speaking to another darkener.

"Excuse me! Have you seen a tiny baby tasque? About this height and missing its tail."

"Nope nope. Have not."

"Ok. Thanks anyways."

They had decided to ask around while Spamton got on hunting duty, searching every crevice of the trash zone he knew existed. He just needed a sign! A trace to lead him in the right direction! He jumped down from the dumpster and continued onwards.

He ran into Click, who seemed flustered from running so much.

"Haa haa… sorry! No luck yet! How far could they have gotten on their own?!"

"What if it wasn't on their own? What if it was… an abduction?"

Spam shook his head to try and chase away Mike's intrusive messages and looked back at Click. 

"YOO [try our free samples] GOING [Backtracking] TO THE ROAD! !! I'LL L00K IN [my handmade storefront!]!"

"Are you sure?! You really want to run that far ahead? Wh-what if-"

"[Times running out!!!], JUZT HURRY!!!"

They nodded nervously before running back towards the road they came from.

Spamton turned around and continued forward towards his store, checking in any branching paths he came across on the way.

It was a miracle he had been able to continue as far as he had, considering the level of anxiety he was at. With Mike continuing to whisper doubts into his mind and static threatening to take over his vision if he lost focus for even a second, it was a struggle to keep going. But he had to. His need to find Sky was the only defence he had left against Mike's control of his sanity.

"What did I tell you, Spamton? You're unable to take care of a child. You're unstable. Unhinged. Uneducated on childcare. You don't even have a fatherly instinct to rely on, since they're not even yours."

"[CLOSING UP STORE] [MIKE] !!!!! I'LL [found something you like?] THEM [Soon…]!!1"

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure about that. You didn't do anything to assure you'd find them if they were lost. You were irresponsible , Spamton. You dropped the ball big time. Just like you dropped your sales."

He didn't want to argue with him anymore. It was pointless. He didn't care what Spamton had to say, so why bother? Focus on finding Sky!

"And because of that… now they might be in the hands of a dangerous individual. Think about it. They might have been picked up and turned into a servant. They could be caged and showed off like a zoo animal. Some sick sadist might have-"

"Stop talking."

"Oh. Oh my. Did I touch on a nerve? I'm so sorry, that was really not my intention. I'm just trying to explain that none of this would have happened if you had done the merciful thing and killed them when you had the chance."

"..."

"Lighteners aren't meant to be here. They're viewed as a threat, as something to restrain or tame, if not killed on sight. You only caused them more suffering. A life of pain. Were you really so petty and bitter that you had to share your pain with a small innocent kid?"

"You don't know anything… They smiled at me. They tried to care for me back, like I did for them."

"How pathetic to be pitied by a literal toddler."

"[%¢#&] U [Mike] ."

"Do you really think Sky views you as a father after a little over a month?"

Spamton stopped in his tracks, his heart becoming still and a sensation of cold running through him.

"They're still so young. After Sky inevitably leaves you, they won't have any memory left of you whatsoever. It's really sad, seeing you at night, fantasizing about an older version of them, calling you papa and hugging you close."

Not even his fantasies were free from that slime! He knew they were far-fetched! He knew it was just wishful thinking! But can't he be allowed even that?!

"Like everyone else, Sky will abandon you and you will fade from their mind. And who will still be there when you're left in the trash?"

Spamton heard it. In the distance, he could hear the phone ringing. His rotary phone. He's calling me. He wants to talk. Isn't haunting my brain enough for you?!

"Answer it, Spamton."

No! I can't! I have to find Sky! I can't-

"Answer the phone."

His legs started moving, continuing towards the store like he had originally planned. But this time, he wasn't stopping to look around. He wasn't allowed to.

Chapter Text

Swatch had been studying the lightener as they ate their plate of spaghetti code. The bird was feeding them, delighted with how cooperative they were to it. Clearly, they were used to being fed. This told them that they had been cared for recently, and not as a tasque, but as a lightener. Unless someone fed their tasque like a baby.

Then the kid reached out to try and shovel food into their mouth while Swatch zoned out, clearly thinking they took too long. They gasped and reached down to take their hands.

"No. We do not eat with our hands. We use a fork" they explained as they continued feeding them again.

Ok, apparently not that used to it.

But now that the two were in a calmer scene, it gave Swatch some time to think about the other thing on their mind.

"Spamdon!"

That was what the child had been shouting earlier when they first spoke. This was, of course, extremely concerning to them. 

They must have meant 'Spamton'. That's the only logical answer. But… why? Why do they know about Spamton? Have they been in contact with him somehow? Could it be that… Spamton somehow brought the human here for some reason? Could it have something to do with Neo? It wouldn't surprise me. He's a very desperate man. He would do ANYTHING to get that suit. 

But… is that true? Sure, he's an unstable obsessed person now. But the Spamton I knew… he wouldn't stoop so low as to use a baby for his nefarious plans. He wouldn't do something like that! Then… Why do they know him?! And how do they know me? Did SPAMTON tell them about me or something?

Swatch was brought back to reality as they heard the baby start to get fussy. Oh, they were probably full by then! So they picked the little lightener up and held them to their chest.

"There we go. All good now? Hm?"

"Yum!"

"Yum indeed! Now, we should probably get going to- oh wait… I can't bring you to the mansion, can I? Her majesty has a strange interest in lighteners, so who knows what she'd do if she saw one as small as you? That's too much excitement for someone your age!"

"Swaats??"

"Mhm. Exactly. Then… perhaps I should bring you home until I can figure out what to do with you. The Swatchlings would surely be absolutely brimming with glee to get to dote on someone as small and cute as you! Why, they haven't gotten to do that since… him…"

"Guaa? Abanh gahba."

"Sorry! I didn't mean to… anyways. Let's head to my home and get you taken care of proper, hm?"

They got up and paid for the food, leaving a generous tip like always, and headed out of the restaurant.

Sky really liked this person. They were very nice and Spamton seemed to think so too! Maybe they were his friend! Sky hoped that they would get to hang out with both of them together.

*~*~*

The door slowly creaked open, revealing the same old shop he had seen so many times. Yet… it felt so unfamiliar. It felt darker, dirtier, everything covered in a thick layer of dust. 

Spamton hadn't been gone for that long, only about four days. Yet it seemed like it had been years, everything getting touched by time, rusted and rotted. 

The puppet stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame while taking shallow breaths that did nothing for him. He was panicking on the inside, but couldn't show it in any way. His expression remained vacant and his body numb. He truly felt like a marionette being played with for show. 

The phone was ringing still. It never stopped. It just kept going, ringing, ringing, ringing. So so loud, like an air-raid siren.

"Oh my. Would you look at that? Someone is calling. You should see who it is."

Mike sure had a sick sense of humour.

"Now don't act like that. I'm only trying to help. Don't you understand? I've tried to help you so many times, but you've managed to mess it up so often. This is the only way to make sure it's done right."

His leg was jerked forward, taking a big step into the eerie trash shop. Spamton's fingers flexed, gripping onto the door frame with all the strength he could muster.

"N-N0… PL3azE…"

"Spamton. What are you doing? You're way too exhausted to struggle like that. You'll hurt yourself. Here, let me help."

He struggled to keep his grip on the door, bright green strings appearing out of thin air to try and pull them back. All he could do was think about the only thing in his godforsaken life that he kept going for. Not just Sky! They were important to him, but he couldn't help but consider someone else from recent events. 

Click had been nothing but kind and welcoming, doing everything in their power to help and accommodate him and his comfort. They even yelled at him, because he wasn't thinking rationally. 

They betrayed him, didn't come to be with him when he had it all, didn't look for him when he lost it all. He didn't think he could ever forgive them for that!

… But he can't help but find himself falling back into his old fondness of his anxious friend. They still cared and were willing to do anything to make up for their mistake. He couldn't help but feel like he wanted them back in his life.

"Really? You're going to trust them over me? They abandoned you. They could look you in the face when you were finally happy and decide you didn't deserve it. It's sad to see. You get one taste of companionship and you become addicted. Utterly pathetic."

… Maybe [Mike] was right.

He really had just jumped on the first opportunity of free food and living arrangements without considering the consequences, hadn't he? He completely forgot about their unforgivable crime as soon as they started pampering him. What a greedy slime he was.

Spamton's fingers slowly loosened and slipped away from the door, allowing his feet to continue into the shop.

He saw [his] phone. It was ringing ceaselessly, not even taking a breather in between. It just continued echoing like a bad headache, torturing him until he finally gave in to make it stop. 

He should pick up. Make it all stop. Make the suffering end. Make Mike happy so he'd stop tormenting him. He was so tired. He couldn't continue struggling anymore. He just wanted to be free…

"SPAMTON!!!" The cry barely cut through his haze and made him hesitate in his motion. Then a pair of arms embraced him from behind and pulled him back away from the phone, which stopped ringing as soon as he was out of reach. 

Click let out a harsh, shaky breath as they stumbled backwards and landed on their rear, holding Spamton protectively against their chest.

"Spamton! Spamton buddy! Are you there?! Can you hear me?! Please snap out of it! Please!" They begged and shook him while still gripping him tightly, never letting up on him for even a single second. 

He still felt so numb. Everything around him was duller, all the sounds and colors. He still couldn't move any part of himself. He just felt so very exhausted and he really wanted to rest so badly. He wasn't even sure what was happening or where he was anymore, just that [Mike] stopped calling.

"Please Spammy… stay with me! You can do it! Whatever this stupid glitch is, I know you are a lot more powerful than it is! You've gone through everything imaginable and freaking won! You can kick that stupid bastards ass for sure!"

Wow. That's the cheesiest, most dramatic thing he's ever heard in his goddamn life. It's actually laughable. Humorous. Funny as hell. An absolute knee-slapper .

"... Ha… ha ha… ha ha!" He managed to croak out and flexed his fingers so he could grip their sleeve.

"Spammy…?"

"... … … You… are such… a dork."

"... … Heh. Heh heh heh! Says you. You're even dorkier than me!"

Spamton could feel his smile returning at that, glad that they could both find some humour in this grim and horrifying situation. Click was the biggest dork he knew. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

"... I… I THINK I"M… [got you feeling good] BACK 1NTO MY [arm and leg exercises].. CAN YO U HELP ME [moving out of your parents house?]?"

They nodded and helped the white Addison stretch his limbs and get them moving again.

"I'm sorry. I should have gotten here sooner. I shouldn't have been so slow and-"

"CLICKR, [mute] OR I'M GON N A [Delicis fruit punch!] YOU,,, FIRST TH1NG WHEN I WHEN I CAN MOVE."

"How are you so sweet AND so mean??"

"I'M MULTI--TALENTED, [Pending Friendrequest]. GOT L0TS OF [scams] UP MY [sleevies]" Spam chuckled and let himself relax for just a moment.

*~*~*

"You are quite the stubborn one, huh? And here I thought I'd have an easygoing kid on my hands" Swatch mused to themselves as they walked down the street, wing being held by Sky, looking very smug about getting to walk like they wanted. How did a toddler manage to look so self-satisfied? It was like they had been raised by someone who got their mocking grin game down pat. 

Oh well. Maybe it was just the bird overthinking it. So they simply shrugged it off and continued onwards.

They tried their best to not stand out, just to assure no one figured out there was a lightener among them. It was quite hard, considering they were A: Quite large. And B: The Queen's head butler. They just tended to naturally attract people's attention from merely being out and about.

But everything had gone smoothly so far, thanks to the cute onesie the lightener wore being enough to convince everyone they were a tasque. It was quite impressive that they didn't notice it earlier, considering the craftsmanship wasn't exactly… masterful, to put it politely. But it seemed to work, so everything would be just fine

Well that thought process would be proven wrong, because Sky is an unpredictable force of chaos. They were looking around at the pretty lights and signs all around, advertising a little bit of everything under the sun. They didn't get to see the town so often, considering Spamton's living situation. So they were pretty much spellbound by the sight.

"Oh~! Oh my goodness, Hun! That dress would fit you like a glove! But! But but but! You know what suits purple? A nice, dignified pale green! I'm sure I have a scarf like that in stock!"

That loud voice caught the child's attention, making them look over at the orange Addison, handing over a dress and a scarf to someone before waving them off. 

"Thank you for your patronage! Good luck on the date!" He called out cheerfully before letting out a satisfied sigh. 

He looked funny, kinda like Click. But Click wasn't orange. And their hair was longer. And that guy had one yellow tooth. It looked really weird and shiny. Wonder how he got it. 

Then they watched him walk over to some other person wearing a pretty blue dress. That person also looked familiar. The short stature, the long nose, the hairstyle. That… that looked just like…

"SPAMDON!!!" The sudden yell startled Swatch so bad that they reflexively pulled their hands up to their chest, as if feeling for a heart attack. Bewildered, they looked down at the child in good time to see them running off towards a nearby Addison and his mannequin. 

"H-Hey! Wait!" They shouted before running after the little rugrat.

Banner hummed gleefully as he straightened out the dress on the dummy, making sure it looked proper and professional. That was until he heard something approaching. 

"Ah! A customer! Hello! Ho-" he didn't get much further than that before spotting the tiny, dirty, probably virus carrying tasque bolting right in his direction. He let out a shriek and quickly shot back against the wall, not wanting this thing anywhere near him.

Sky finally made it over to the white Addison and hugged onto his dress tightly, still trying to say his name while huffing from exhaustion.

Swatch was close behind, looking between the kid and the shopkeeper, who finally met their gaze. "Wh-wha-wha-what is that thing?! Get its filthy paws off of my model!" He demanded while shivering in a corner.

"I am so very sorry, sir! They just ran so suddenly! Come now, little one! We should be leaving."

Sky looked up at the doll, wondering why it wasn't responding to them saying his name. Why was Spamton ignoring them? Were they bad? Was he mad? 

They started tearing up, shaking the doll to try and get their attention. "Sp-Sp-Spamdon! Spamdon!" they whined and clung onto the dress, even while Swatch was desperately trying to pull them away from it. The bird weren't sure what they meant at that moment, they just needed to get the child away from there.

Survey was looking down at his phone, brows only the slightest bit pinched from frustration. He had tried calling Banner about what Click said, but he hadn't answered. Most likely, he was busy with work. That made sense to the blue ad. It was work time for him. 

But Click seemed desperate, so he thought it would be best to go and inform him in person instead. Despite how much he wanted to bury himself in blankets at home. The things you do for friends.

Though he found a lot of things surrounding the situation strange. There were details that didn't add up and other gut feelings that just had him thinking something was off. He didn't want to doubt Click of course, but he knew they weren't incapable of keeping secrets or twisting the truth if they had to. So… he had his theories.

"SPAMDON!!!" 

His head raised a bit at that sound, wondering what that could have been. It sounded like some kid. And, judging by the direction it came from…

… It was definitely coming from Banner's store.

Survey picked up the pace and rushed over. It didn't take long for them to get there, rounding the corner to a… certainly interesting sight.

A small tasque was gripping onto the dress of a store mannequin while the Queen's head butler was trying to pull them off, very carefully at that. There was also Banner cowering in a corner away from the scene unfolding.

It was… something, to say the least. Including the fact that the tasque in question fit the description he was given to a tee. Yep. This definitely smelled of suspicion.

But, he had to think quickly. Wouldn't want to make a scene.

"Oh my Queen! Sky! There you are!" He called out and came running over towards them all.

"SURVEY! THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE! Please help me get rid of that gross pest!" Banner ran over to him and hid behind him.

"I'm so very sorry about this! I'm trying my best but they seem very upset right now!" Swatch apologized as they looked over at the baby who was still gripping onto the dress like their life depended on it.

Survey scanned the scene carefully, eyes drifting up to the doll in question, since that seemed to be the source of the issue. Was there something special about it? Did they recognize it somehow? 

Actually… Survey found it familiar too… in fact… the name on the tip of his tongue was one he could have sworn he heard earlier.

"... Hello there. You're the queen's butler, right?" He asked and walked over to kneel down beside them.

"Y-yes! I apologize for this, it does not represent Her Grace's usual management!"

"Thanks a lot for finding them for me."

"Huh?" Swatch looked up in shock at that unexpected statement.

"My friend has been looking for their tasque everywhere. They have been worried sick. Poor Click lost Sky after going to the store."

"Their name is Sky?" 

"Right you are. Thank you for taking so good care of them. Click might've fainted if they had as much as a scratch on them."

"W-wait! Since when did Click get a tasque???" Banner cut in, confused.

"Beats me. Thanks so much for keeping them safe."

Swatch looked between the blue Addison and the baby, Sky, wondering what exactly they should make out of this. They didn't actually expect someone to be looking for them after finding out they were a lightener. Was this safe? Were… they going to be safe?

"... Are you sure you got the right tasque?"

"Hmm… let's see!" Survey simply said as he got closer to Sky, watching as they pulled the dress closer to themselves.

He had to try out his theory. If it worked… he didn't know what he was going to do. So he leaned in closer and mumbled so the other two wouldn't hear. "Hey there. Wanna go to Spamton, Sky?"

Sky looked up at him with wide eyes, quietly muttering back "Spamdon?"

He nodded and offered a hand to them, which they quickly accepted and held onto tightly.

"There we are! See? I knew you'd recognize their name. Come on, let's get you home" he said with a tired smile and rubbed their head. 

Swatch stared in confusion, really not sure if they should trust this Addison or not. Did his friend know? If they knew, were they ok with it? If not, would they be able to still care for them properly?

Well, one thing was for sure. This guy definitely knew. They could see it in his half lidded eyes. 

"... Your friend knows how to properly care for a tasque of… such a special breed? It's not really a… a responsibility to take lightly ."

Survey raised a brow, looking over at the butler. "... Buddy, don't worry. I had no idea they had a new pet, but I'll… discuss with them about the humane way to care for them."

Swatch nodded, which Survey returned. No more words needed to be shared. They could both tell the other was fully aware of the situation. So the Addison turned around to his friend and bid him farewell before heading off.

Swatch felt… strange. So many questions were still left unanswered. And they were worried about the poor thing. Hopefully this 'Survey' could handle it appropriately. They seemed understanding enough.

The tired darkener sighed heavily and pulled out his phone, briefly going over all the gut punching revelations he just made before bringing up Click's contact and pressing the call button.

Beep…

Beep…

Be-

"SURVEY! HI! D-Do you have any good news?! Please tell me you have good news!"

Third beep, huh.

"Yep. Got them right here."

"R-R-REALLY?! YOU GOT THEM?!?"

Survey was about to respond, but paused as he thought he heard something in the background. Something like 'Oh thank' and then a bleep or something. That was… strange. Another one for the vault.

"... Click? You still there?"

"Y-yeah! I'm right here! Y-you got the right tasque, right? Small? No tail?"

"Responds to the name Sky. All correct."

"Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you soooooo much! I can never thank you enough!"

"Hey. Just doing the right thing. I'll come by your place to drop them off. I'm already on my way."

"Wait! Right now???"

"... Yes."

"O-O-Ok! Ok! I'll hurry back and meet you there!"

"Bye."

Survey hung up and looked down at the kid, inspecting them curiously. 

"... Click has a lot to explain, huh? Should I cut them some slack?"

"Kick!"

"Yeah. I guess we'll see."

*~*~*

"Sky! Oh you're back! And you're ok! Where were you?! You had us worried sick about you!"

Click sighed in relief as they took Sky from Survey and hugged them close to their chest. The other Addison stood there and watched quietly, seemingly lost in thought.

"Yeah… So, when were you planning on telling us about the new resident?"

Click tensed slightly, but quickly shook the reaction off and smiled at him. "Ha ha! Sorry. I was just… not feeling good about telling you guys. Flash was bugging me about the tasque 'not being my responsibility' and you know how Banner are with anima-"

"I don't see how that applies here."

"H-huh?"

"Really? You gonna look me in the eyes and try to bullcrap me with half-truths?"

"..." Click looked stunned, almost terrified by that statement. It was like their mind flew into a fight or flight response and chose to freeze, going into the beginning of a panic attack.

"Listen. I don't know what's up with you having a lightener in the house, but it's clear you're taking care of them. I don't know what you expected my reaction to be, but you don't have to worry. It's a baby, I'm not gonna throw them to Queen. As long as you make sure to stay safe, I'm cool."

Again, the pink darkener stood stunned, but this time in confusion rather than fear. But before they could respond, he turned around and headed for the door.

"I'm really tired, so I'm heading home. Make sure to take care of yourself too. Bye." And just like that, he shut the door and was gone from sight.

As if on cue, Spamton bolted from around the corner and snatched Sky away from Click, squeezing them tightly in a desperate hug and showering their face in millions of teeth kisses. He kept muttering their name in a shaky cry and sank down onto his knees.

"SKY… SKY… ZKY… YOU'RE [Back in Black]..."

Sky seemed equally moved by the sight of the puppet holding them, as they started whining and gripping onto his shirt with shaky little hands.

"Sbabo… spanom… saaadom!"

"[My sweet little baby] [I missed you] [Don't leave me again]" he wasn't speaking in ads or pre-recorded clips, yet the heavy distortion in his voice made his sentence sound so strange. But he couldn't be blamed, especially when he had gone through one of the hardest days of his life.

"Spamton… let's sit down in the living room. I'll get the recliner chair ready" Click suggested as they helped him back up to his feet and led him towards the living room. Spamton just sobbed quietly and nuzzled his face into his precious Sky, not wanting to think about anything aside from right then and there. He didn't want to think about his plan to get Sky to Swatch, about the day's events, about Survey's comments or about Mike. He just wanted to think about Sky, in his arms, holding him close and slowly growing more and more relaxed.

He didn't even make it through one show and a commercial break before drifting off with his child in his lap.

Chapter Text

Spamton hummed as he slightly stirred his coffee, spellbound as he watched the swirl of milk spiral around until it blended with the black drink to make a delicious looking brown. He took one large sip before sighing heavily and leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. It was a marble white. Sleek. Undisturbed by blemishes or damage, just like he felt at that moment.

He leaned his head to the side and looked at the window, a white frame surrounded by black wallpaper. Outside was a nice view of the city in the distance. It was still, as if he was staring at a TV screen with a paused movie on it. How relaxing.

He took another sip of his coffee and closed his eyes, letting his mind just grow quiet and enjoy nothingness for a calm second.

…

…

…

"HIYA! HWAH! SHNGYAH!"

The sudden yelling didn't startle the puppet as much as it made him raise a brow. He sat up and looked over at the doorway, setting his mug down before getting up. He walked over and peeked out. 

There, standing in the middle of the living room, was a tall, broad lightener dressed as if they were prepared for a fight. They huffed heavily as they stared at their opponent with a fiery look in their eyes. They struck again and landed a devastating blow, knocking the poor victim down to the floor.

"SKY. C0ULD [you, our valued customer] NOT [free martial art lessons for all minors] SO [early bird]?" Spamton asked the kid with a tired smile plastered over his face, hanging lazily off the doorframe.

"Ah! Papa! Sorry! I was just practicing! Indigo promised me that we could have a battle tomorrow and I'm NOT losing to her again!" Sky said seriously as they gave the dress-up doll another kick before body slamming it.

"IF U [she's a keeper] [X-TREME DESTRUCTION] SW4TCH'S MAN-AKIN S, , THEY WON'T BE [a happy customer!].!." Spam warned in a light-hearted tone.

"They have so many already! Why do they even need a billion different dummies if not to be disposable for extreme fighting practice?" Sky huffed and crossed their arms.

"That's a very generous number there. Last time I checked, it was 74" Swatch hummed thoughtfully as they walked up behind the human and put a wing on their shoulder. Sky gulped nervously as they stiffened in the grip. Swatch then glanced over to the mannequin on the floor and added "Guess that's down to 73 now."

"Heyyyyy! Swatch! Nice to see you. Did you do something with your-"

"You're cleaning up the living room today and you'll reorganize the color palettes. Next time you train, use an actual training dummy."

"Awe man" Sky deflated as they received their punishment, picking up the broken parts of the defeated mannequin, looking quite defeated themselves. Swatch just shook their head and approached Spamton. 

"Good morning, Spammy." They ruffled his hair on the way to the kitchen with a slight smile.

"MORNING [Dove]! [TEENZ 0NLY] THESE DAYS, [amiright]??!2" he joked back as he followed them into the kitchen.

They nodded with a hum before they opened the fridge, pulling out eggs, cheese, milk, green stuff and sandwich meat. Spamton knew that combination by heart by now.

"[Full priced [Delicis]] OMELET    S??!?"

"Yes. Exactly how you both like it. Hope you didn't fill yourself with coffee again."

"DON'T WORRY, SWATCHES! 1:M [hungry baby bird!] FOR Y0UR [What's cookin', good lookin'~?]!"

Swatch turned around and gave the puppet an amused smirk at that particular glitch. Spamton gulped and pulled the hood of his sweater up over his head, pulling the drawstrings to hide his embarrassed face. The Swatchling laughed at that as they started mixing the batter for the omelets.

That's when Sky came running in and slammed their hands on the table. "Swatch! Is the food ready yet?! I'm going to be late for shooting practice!" They asked hurriedly as they quickly pulled on a silly looking cowboy hat.

"It's been two minutes, sweetheart. Please have some patience" Swatch responded calmly, earning a loud, annoyed groan from the teenager.

Spamton peeked out from the hoodie and raised a brow at them. "[Click that subscribe button] IS A REALLY [Bad deals! Cars that break down!] ON U. PISTOLZ AND [Hyperlink blocked] HAT????? YOU'RE BECOM1NG CLICK!" He commented with a lopsided smile, leaning against his palm.

"I just wanna learn to shoot a pistol! It's not like I'm gonna dress up in a full-blown cowboy outfit and start talking in a southern accent while chewing on straw!"

"THEY'RE DORKIFYING U!! ! ! RES SIST!"

"Oh my god, Papa stop! Cowboys aren't dorky! Ninjas? Sure. But not cowboys."

"WHAT HAVE THEY [are you done?] T00 MY SW3ET SKY?????"

Sky sighed and crossed their arms. Then Swatch walked up to them with a lunchbox of omelets. They smiled and grabbed the box hurriedly. "Thanks Swatch!"

They then ran up to Spamton, leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodbye Papa! I'll see you later!"

Spamton felt a burst of joy in his chest and grinned wide, looking up at them with almost teary eyes. 

"Really?! You gonna do this every time I give you a peck on the cheek?"

"IT JU ST [Heartwarming] EV3RY TIME!1!! 1!" He sighed gleefully and bonked his teeth against their cheek in return.

" GOODBYE, PAPA! "

Sky said pointedly before rushing out the door. The Addison grinned and just stared after them, feeling such a blooming feeling of pride in his stomach. Then it gurgled.

The butler walked over with a plate of food and placed it in front of him. "Eat your breakfast, Goofus."

"OF COURSE, [My friend]"

*~*~*

Spamton's eyes shot open and he felt his face burning from the immediate memory of his dream, smoke pouring out of his mouth. He raised his hands to his face and hissed in humiliation.

Had he really just dreamt that?! Had he just played a cheesy, inoffensive sitcom in his head starring him and the other two??? God! That's so pathetic! So sad! So…

…

"... What a lovely dream."

*~*~*

He sat in the kitchen with Sky, feeding them some applesauce he found in the fridge. They seemed to quite like it! So he just fed them absentmindedly as he waited for Click to wake up and make breakfast, like every morning. 

He looked up at the wall clock, which showed it was 7:36 am. Weird. Usually Click would be up and running by then. They were an early bird, waking up well before 7, so them still not being up was… concerning. Maybe it was just his paranoia, but he had a sinking feeling in his gut that something was wrong.

So he picked up Sky and brought them upstairs with him to check on them. He walked up to their door and knocked on it. "CLICKER?? ?! YOU [raring to go!]?" He asked and then waited for a response.

…

… Nothing. Nothing whatsoever.

He tried knocking again, louder, but was met with the same answer. He sighed and grabbed the doorknob, carefully opening the door to not disturb them.

"CLICK??" He asked hesitantly as he looked over towards their bed, where he saw them sleeping. The side of their face was mushed against the pillow with an obvious stain of drool by their open, snoring mouth. They had half their body dangling over the edge of the bed as their blanket was only covering their lower body.

Suffice to say, they looked like a MESS .

Spamton walked over and looked at them worriedly, reaching out and placing a hand on their head. Yep. They were hot to the touch, like he suspected. Which meant, they were sick. 

But the light touch to their forehead seemed to be enough to stir them from their sleep, making them jerk up with a mumbled "D-don't answer that!"

"AH! CLICK! DON'T [Make your move] LIKE THAT!" The puppet told them as he used the same hand to rub their head in an attempt to calm them down. Click groaned and laid their head back down onto the pillow, blearily trying to look around the room.

"Uuuuugh… what time is it?"

"[3:30]!"

"Huh???"

"... [7:40]."

Click jolted up from the bed and kicked the blanket off, trying to rush themselves up onto their feet. "Wh-what?!? I-I overslept! I need to make breakfast! I need to get dressed!" They mumbled and panicked as they staggered dizzily.

Spamton quickly put Sky down on the floor and put a hand on Click's chest, stopping them right in their tracks. "[DENIED!!!]. YOU ARE NOT DOING ANY    ! U AREN'T [Workout ready body!] RIGHT NOW! [Sit your ass down]!" He carefully led them back to the bed, trying his best to make them sit down. But they seemed to be quite stubborn right that moment.

"N-No! I'll be late! I have to bake! I have to clean the store! I have to order ingredients!" They rambled on as they attempted to get some clothes from their wardrobe. Spamton just grabbed their arm and pulled them back to the bed, where Sky had managed to climb up and was sitting, staring at the sick ad.

"Kick?" They asked and reached a hand out to pull them onto the bed, like Spamton was doing. It was quite cute. The pink Addison leaned down to them and patted them on the head. "Don't worry, sweetpea. Clicky will get you a big breakfast…" they grumbled tiredly as they were forced down onto the bed by both their house guests.

"CLICK! SLEEP! YOU'RE [sick of the    ]!"

"No no no no no… I'm fine. Just… morning grogginess…"

"N0! YOUR S1CK!1 LAY DOWN!"

"I can't! I'm busy! It's Sunday! Sundays are the busiest days… everything is cheaper and the special is a big hit with… with the visitors!"

Sky climbed up onto their lap and pushed them with all their might down onto the bed. But Click pushed back and remained seated.

"JUST DO AS 1 SAY AND [Nighty night]!" Spamton scolded and shook his head disappointedly. "YOU WON'T B @ [Peak performance] LIKE THIS! JUST L4Y BACK DOWN!!" He kept insisting while glaring at Click seriously, trying to maybe intimidate them into complying.

"S-Spam! Please! I'm fine! I just… I just… need… yawn I'll just take a little… a little power nap…" Click's voice grew quieter as they swayed dizzily. Sky was still sitting on their lap, but Spamton noticed there was a yellow shine coming from their body. His smile widened and he gently helped guide the tired darkener back down onto the bed.

"OF COURSE. JUST A [power up] NAP. I,LL GET YOU [Sparkling clean water] & [The pain! Make it stop!] KILLERS" he spoke as softly as he could while helping Sky pull the blanket up over the delirious Addison. They let out another yawn and cuddled up against the surprisingly soft and comfy pillow. "Thanks Spammy… you're the best buddy…" they slurred quietly and closed their eyes. 

Sky crawled over to their head and gave them a couple of sweet little pats. "Nigh nigh kick!" They said in a hushed tone and watched Click slip back into sleep. That's when the yellow glow faded away and Spamton picked Sky back up again.

"GOOD [a job well done!] KIDDDO! U [have a knack] [for your comfort]!" He praised them and nuzzled their face before going downstairs to fetch the water and painkillers he promised.

*~*~*

The kitchen was a complete mess.

Spamton had tried his very best to make some breakfast for himself and Click, since Sky already ate. He hadn't cooked in… could it really be over a decade or two? It had to be! Combined with living on the streets, scavenging trash, and living in the mansion, having everything served to you on a silver platter, he probably hadn't cooked since before he got successful. 

That was a startling amount of time.

But! It couldn't be that hard! It was just throwing some ingredients together, setting it on fire and boom baam! Food!

Oh… oh how wrong he was.

He tried making thin pancakes, because the overly fluffy pancakes were overly-rated, in his opinion. So he got the milk, flour and eggs to make it. Simple, right?

Then everything went downhill as he tried figuring out how the batter was supposed to look like. Nothing seemed right!

Too lumpy! Too watery! Too thick! Too slimy! Too many egg shells!

Not to mention the spills of batter all over and his chalk white face, which he got from an explosion of flour. Sky seemed to find it amusing, clapping and giggling.

Then came the cooking part. He had poured some mixture into the pan and watched as it sizzled like it was being fried over hellfire. It came out runny on one side and charcoal on the other. Then he tried again with lower heat and had to scrape the pancake off because he forgot to butter the pan. And it just continued like that, something going completely haywire with every single attempt he made.

It was an absolute nightmare. But, soon enough, he managed to bake up a few semi decent pancakes, ready for consumption. He sighed in relief as he pulled out some strawberry jam and whipped cream from the fridge. Sky got a little bowl of it so they wouldn't feel left out. Putting it all on a tray, he headed upstairs again to check if Click was awake.

He gave the door a soft knock before calling out "CLICK! BREAKFAST!"

The human imitated his knock before mumbling something similar to what he said. He chuckled at that.

But no response was heard from the other side. It was dead silent. Perhaps they were still asleep, despite the ruckus from downstairs. Oh well. Might as well check. He used his elbow to open the door and tiptoed inside.

"CL1CKER, [Wakey Wakey]?"

He glanced over at the pink figure laying on their side, facing away from the two entering. Spam continued over to them and looked at the nightstand, seeing the water and medicine still there, untouched.

He felt a little concerned, wondering just how sick they were to not once wake up and take some medicine for a couple of hours. 

Then he was scared stiff by a sudden gasp coming from the ad, almost causing him to drop the tray of food. But he quickly recovered it.

Click sat up hurriedly in bed and placed a hand to their head, face completely pale and dripping with sweat. They took a couple of shaky breaths and pulled their legs up to their chest, their fingers getting tangled up in their hair as they curled up.

Spamton stood there in confusion, unsure if he should say anything as it seemed they hadn't noticed him yet. He slowly placed the tray down on a nearby desk and then went to check on them. "Click…?"

They sucked in a startled breath before seeing Spamton and calming down slightly. "S-Sp-Spamton…"

"IS [EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!][Gucci]?"

"N-No! No it's… oh god, I'm sorry… oh god…"

"HEY! HE-! [Tranquility] D0WN! ! IT'S [Okey dokey].."

"Y-you don't-! I-! Oh my sweet Jesus Christ!"

Click was almost completely inconsolable, sobbing and quaking violently. The puppet tried to comfort them by sitting on the bed and rubbing their back. He looked at the baby with a begging gaze, hoping they might get the hint. But they just sat on the floor and played with one of the figurines they had found.

"I… I had… a n-nightm-mare. B-but it felt s-s-so real!" They finally spoke again, leaning into Spam's shoulder while sniffling miserably. He rubbed their arm and just sat there, allowing them to cry into his shirt. After a few more seconds of sobs, they pulled themselves together enough to talk again.

"I-I… I was somewhere… I couldn't tell where… There was too much smoke to see anything. I just had to continue walking aimlessly until I heard… a really really loud phone ringing-"

Spamton tensed up and felt his heart stop. No… it wasn't… right?

"It hurt my ears! And no matter which direction I went, it just kept getting louder! I was getting a headache. It hurt so much. But… after a while of walking, I stumbled across your shop door. I went inside and the ringing became… normal. I saw you… standing over your rotary phone and just staring down at it. It looked like you were about to answer, so I went to stop you, but I fell over. My legs were wrapped up with the phone's cord!"

No no no no! That's not possible! How would this happen?! How could Mike reach Click?! They never even spoke to him! He shouldn't be able to affect them, right? This has to be something else! Just a normal nightmare. Please!

"You… picked up the phone. The noise coming from the other end was completely unintelligible. It was a voice for sure, but I couldn't understand a thing or tell who was talking. But you seemed to understand everything, just nodding and responding with short answers like 'Can't trust anyone' or 'I'm useless' and other… terrible, untrue things!"

That… was strange. Not Mike's usual schtick. And why would he make it unintelligible? He can't stop talking and talking. So why… would he censor himself?

… Is it that… Click just can't understand him?

"Click…"

The Addison looked up at Spamton with hazy, tired eyes, clearly still not all there from whatever sickness they had. Spamton decided to not overwhelm them too much and just gave them a light head pat.

"That… was the guy who's been calling me. The guy I've mentioned. [Mike]. I can't… say too much about him right now. But… just know that… I'm strong enough to ignore him. With you and Sky there, he's nothing but a whisper in my head."

That seemed to make them feel better, a small smile growing on their face as they stared at him blankly. After a quiet moment, Spam got up and picked up the tray again.

"N0W! EAT YO UR [Bed and breakfast]! AND TAKE THE [medicinal herbs],."

"You made breakfast???"

"[DING DING DING!!!]. BUT DON T CHECK [IKEA kitchen display]."

Click laughed dizzily, clearly not understanding what he had just said as they took one of the painkillers with a big swig of water. The puppet then helped prepare the pancakes for them and set the tray down on their lap, sitting down beside them to eat his own.

Sky wobbled over with a pouty face, which reminded him to give them their own bowl of cream and jam to enjoy.

Chapter Text

"Thanks dude. Ya don't need to pay for me though'' Flash said casually as she picked up her coffee cup and took a really big gulp, almost half emptying it in one. Survey hummed as he opened his eyes from his micro nap, smiling tiredly at her. 

"No problem, Flash. Really. I like to treat you guys once in a while. Plus, I do need a pick-me-up of my own. Believe it or not, but I've been having some sleepless nights recently."

"Wh- You have been having problems sleeping?!"

"Yeeaaah… It's just… I've had a lot on my mind. A lot of things have been happening at the same time and I think it might be getting to me."

"Damn. Both you and Click are getting all anxious now?"

Survey just shrugged and looked out the cafe window, going over all the information he had gathered as of the lightener discovery. 

He knew he shouldn't tell Flash about the news. It wouldn't bring anything but trouble. At least until he's gathered enough info and confronted Click about it.

"... Guess that makes three of us then."

"Huh?" Wait. Flash was also feeling bothered? That was news to him. How did he miss that? He'd usually pick up on feelings like that right away.

"... Survey. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

Flash took a deep breath after taking another swig of coffee, mentally preparing herself for what was probably some really heavy worries.

"Do you… ever think about Spamton?"

He felt a shiver run through his body. Damn it. Why did it have to be about him?

"Yeah. Sometimes. I'm guessing it's a yes for you."

"I-I… I just feel so… Sometimes I feel like he's still around! I feel like I hear him and that he's… nearby. I recently had a nightmare about him and I had to call in sick because I was so shaken."

Survey just nodded and looked at her calmly, waiting for her to continue.

"I… I regret what I did. I regret not trying harder to reach him. I freaking tried! I called and I walked by his house! But he was never available! I should have visited him at the mansion! I should have broken in and just-"

Flash cut herself off and tried to sneakily wipe her tears out of her eyes.

Survey sighed softly and leaned back, staring off in the distance.

"It's not all on you. You put in the effort. That's all someone can really ask of you."

"I PUT IN JACK! I WAS A COWARD FOR NOT JUST WALKING IN THERE AND LOOKING FOR HIM!"

"You can't just 'walk into' the queen's mansion. It's a little more complicated than that."

"You got in!"

"Because I made a formal request with apt reason."

"I… I just miss him. If he's really… Damn it!"

The blue Addison reached out and put a hand over hers, looking at her with empathetic eyes. 

"Flash. It's ok. If he's still out there, I'm sure he's willing to hear us out."

Honestly, Survey was sort of lying when saying that. There was a big possibility Spamton would never want to see them ever again, no matter what. But it would do no good saying that now.

"I hope he comes back soon. I wanna show him the bracelet I made for him."

"Flash…"

"Sh-Shut up! J-Just let me cope!"

He decided to not press it further. She deserved to have something to look forward to. Whether it would happen or not.

So they both enjoyed their coffee while reminiscing about old memories about their late-friend.

*~*~*

The trash zone was a really odd place to decide to take a walk. But that's where he had decided to go after his coffee talk. 

It wasn't for a daily stroll either. No. He went there with a purpose.

Things with Click had been very suspicious, not just the lightener baby thing. That didn't explain other things that shouldn't be.

First off, the dirty tasque onesie. On its own, it wasn't that weird. Clothes get dirty. It happens. But it doesn't sound like them to leave them that dirty. But still, not too weird.

What definitely was weird was the odor. Not the kid's odor, but Click's. They smelled like crap. Or more specifically, trash.

There was no reason for them to smell like that unless they had gone to the trash zone sometime before they both met up that night. Why had they been looking for a kid in the dump? 

Only one way to find out. 

Survey looked around at the wild poppups that were eyeing him from under their concrete tiles. Just dodge around them and avoid eye contact.

Going further in, it seemed more and more like his search was turning out pointless as he found nothing related to either a lightener or Spamton.

Then he seemed to be approaching a dead end, making him sigh in annoyance. I'm wasting precious energy wandering around in garbage. This better turn up something.

But, fortunately, something interesting caught his eye. A hole in the wall. Strange. But definitely intriguing. He headed over to it and glanced inside.

It was a short tunnel of sorts, leading to a white door. The door was surrounded by heaps of trash bags. 

"Hm… that's sure something. Let's hope I'm not breaking and entering" he hummed to himself as he walked over and turned the door handle. Locked. Not surprising. Oh well, time to see if he had anything to attempt to lockpick this door. Not that he knew how to, but worth a shot.

"Let's see… chopsticks, umbrella, confetti, spare pants, earbuds- ah! Paper clips!" Survey pulled out the paper clips and started fiddling around with them while looking up a tutorial on his phone.

Half an hour later and the door clicked. "Oh thank god. It worked" he sighed deeply before pulling the door open and peeking inside.

Not sure why he did, since anyone inside would have checked on the noise by this point, so it was clearly empty.

It looked… like a store. The way everything was set up made it look like some sort of shop with the wares behind the counter. Because, surely, all the garbage surrounding the fold-up table wasn't merchandise, right?

Survey entered the room and studied it closely. There wasn't much to study. First things first was the painted wall, depicting a beautiful sky with fluffy white clouds and a spiraling sun. It was simple and a little sloppy, but still a pretty sight.

Then came the thing that the Addison was dreading to look at.

He knew it well. Very well. It was the last piece of his old friend's property he had ever seen. The thing his friend had kept close and protected with his life. The thing he obsessed over, practically worshiped in some disturbing fashion.

That black, sleek, old rotary phone.

It caused his heart to sink into his stomach as he stared at it from the corner of his eye. It left no room for questions. No room for doubt. It was clear as day. This was Spamton's place.

"... Ok. Ok. So… crap!" He muttered to himself as he was trying to piece all this new information together to form a coherent working theory. It was all so vague and emotionally charged that it left his brain spinning from information overload.

Then it all ceased as the phone began to ring.

He looked over at it confused. Why was it ringing? Who could be calling? It wasn't Spamton, clearly. And unless his previous theory was correct… no one should be trying to contact this phone. Then who? 

The phrase was like a motto at this point.

Only one way to find out.

Survey reached out and picked up the receiver, placing it to his ear.

"... Hello?"

"... … …"

"Hello?? Is someone there?"

"... Just collecting my thoughts. Please be patient."

Strange. He didn't think he'd ever heard this person before. Their voice was unrecognizable to him.

"Alright. Yes. I'm here now."

"Who is this?"

"Why, Survey. Don't you recognize me?"

"... No."

"Ah. Guess I shouldn't be too surprised. We have only spoken once before and at that time, I believe you described my voice as, and I quote 'Garbage noise', correct?"

Wait… that awful sound coming from the phone during the day in the mansion. The day before Spamton was evicted. When he had gone to see him but couldn't find him, only his phone which was off the hook.

"That… was you? But… why couldn't I understand you then, but can hear you perfectly now?"

"That's not important right now. You have other questions on your mind, don't you? I can feel it."

"... Yeah. Who are you and how do you know Spamton?"

"Well that's simple enough. You may call me Mike. And I know Spamton because he and I are business partners."

"Are you the guy he would talk to for 'advice' then?"

"Advice? Don't be silly. I guided him. I showed him, step by step, just what he had to do."

"Explain."

" Survey. If you want information, you need to ask politely."

He didn't really want to. He was already tired as it was, this guy just bumped it up to a full on headache.

"Would you mind explaining?"

"Not at all. See, Spamton was a terrible businessman. He couldn't sell cheese to a maus. But he had potential. Oh so much potential. He just needed someone to feed him the script. 

So, that's where I stepped in. I told him what to say, what to do. He'd regurgitate it word for word, he'd do as told without question. And because of that, he became successful."

"You're saying that he did exactly as told and somehow managed to become the most successful salesman because of it? You must sure know a lot about the market."

"Oh Survey. Naive little Survey. That's not all I know."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

" LANGUAGE my dear. Language."

"..." His silence dripped with annoyance and impatience. That much was clear to Mike.

"I know about everything there is. I know the truth about life, death, magic and reality itself. And I decided to share this piece of information with my loyal partner."

"You do realize you sound kinda bonkers right now, right?"

"That's what they all say to Spamton when he tries to explain the truth through his broken script. And they're right. Not everyone is built to handle the facts. So his mental state declined as he realized the situation he was in. But I offered him a release from that suffering. I offered him freedom."

"Why? Why would you?"

"But he was too incompetent to even follow simple little instructions. He messed up, time after time, and ended up among his peers."

Survey looked around at the trash in the room, getting mad about both that unnecessary insult and him not answering the question.

"He had a chance at freedom. A chance to salvage his useless life. But he gave it up for some baby he just met. He truly is more insane than the prices he advertises."

Then… Spamton was taking care of the baby like he suspected. And that means… Click…

"Surely, you're wondering what kind of information could have driven him so mad. What sort of mind-altering revelation made him into the broken puppet he is today…"

Survey stood completely frozen, not even breathing as he tried to figure out what exactly he should be doing. What he should be saying. It was all too much and he just kind of shut down, unable to act.

"I'm a kind man, so I'll let you in on this little secret of mine. You see, this is a-"

Without a moment's hesitation, the blue ad slammed the phone down back into place and held it there, making absolutely sure the call had been cut. He just let himself finally breath as he stared at the shiny object in his hand.

Good thing he had quick reflexes then. If he had been too slow, he might have had some awful news revealed. If Spamton went crazy hearing about it, then he didn't want to know.

Suddenly, the phone rang again and made Survey jump in surprise. He huffed angrily and started immediately rummaging around his bag. It didn't take long to find what he was looking for, pulling out the silvery roll. He quickly began wrapping the phone up in as much duct tape as he could before picking the phone up and tossing it into an empty trash bag.

"I'm sure this won't be stopping him if he's as all mighty as he makes himself out to be. But at least it's a temporary solution. 

Now… I should bring this somewhere safe. Like… a literal safe. Somewhere no one will reach it easily. Including Spamton. The further away he stays from this thing, the better."

He headed out of the room with the trash bag in hand, trying to not think about anything at that moment as it would only serve to terrify him. He needed to act. He needed to put this thing away.

And then. Then he needed to speak with Click and Spamton.

Chapter Text

Spamton was in a panic. He had been feeling terrible all day. His mental state was all over and his hallucinations were rising to horrible levels.

Earlier, he had been unable to hear a single word Click was saying, as they were continuously drowned out by the sound of static. 

He had been pulling on strings that were trying to force him out of the house. When asking for help, Click kept saying that nothing was there while helping him settle down.

He'd look down and see holes in his palms, which he could stare straight through. 

Everytime, he'd explain what was happening. And everytime, Click would assure him that nothing was there. So Spamton had to assume that it was just [Mike] trying to mess with him. Click was trying to be understanding and patient, but he was clearly wearing them thin with his strange outbursts every now and again. He couldn't take care of Sky like that! So, he made the incredibly hard decision to let Click take them for a while as he'd go out to get some fresh air.

"Are you sure??? I mean… you won't have a breakdown while you're out, right??? You haven't been doing well today and I'd hate to think of you having an episode all alone out there."

"DON'T WORRY [Slime]! I'LL B [Hyperlink blocked] ON MY OWN! [Sweet aftertaste] ALL! I [was suffering all alone] BE4!"

Click looked very shocked by that glitch before guilt spread across their face. Spamton jolted a little at the expression and his involuntary shaming. He looked around nervously before laughing and just saying a glitchy bye before dashing out the backdoor.

*~*~*

He felt terrible for lying to Click. They had been doing their best to take care of him. But they didn't understand! They couldn't understand! The fear of not knowing what kind of hell he'll be in if he doesn't answer. At least that's something he can do to keep [Mike] happy without… taking a life.

He could try to reason with [Mike] ! He had been a trusted business partner after all! He brought him joy before. He had stuck by him for all this time. He had never given up on Spamton to finally succeed and make him proud. 

Maybe he could explain to [Mike] that the kid really is more useful than he thinks and that there might be a way to allow the use of their soul without… killing them.

He'd be willing to listen… right? He always did before.

And besides, even if he wasn't willing, maybe he could at least satisfy him enough to not haunt him so much.

Y-yeah. Forget all that other stuff, Spamton! You're just doing this so he'll stop bothering you! You don't really believe he'd be willing to compromise.

Spam was approaching his store, praying that [Mike] would take the chance to call while he was there to answer. But, instead, he was met with something very very concerning.

His door was standing open. 

He stared quietly, wondering if he somehow forgot to lock. But… no. No he couldn't have! … Could he?

Fearfully he scrambled over to the door and flung it open, looking around to see if something had been changed.

Immediately, he saw the empty stool. 

His phone was gone.

[His] phone was gone.

The puppet felt a cold chill run through his spine, leaving him frozen and panicked. 

"NO! N0NONO0NGO[@$£#®%¢¶]!!!!!" He just yelled in shock horror as he stumbled over to the phone's usual location and began searching for it, hoping it had just fallen off from a particularly violent vibration. He started digging through the trash even to try and find his one line to the man keeping him on strings.

But it was nowhere to be found. He checked twice, thrice even, and still nothing. Someone must have stolen it. That realization caused the static from earlier to hit him full force, making him go completely blind and making his ears hurt from the noise. He couldn't see. He couldn't hear. He couldn't think. Any time he tried to reason with himself, it all just got pulled back to incoherent screaming and unanswered questions of where his phone was.

Spamton ran around blindly, bumping into everything trying to find the exit. He finally felt his way to the door before he just shot straight out and tumbled down onto the concrete. He felt so helpless. He was scared and alone. Sky's magic couldn't save him now. Neither could Click's care. He was completely at the mercy of the static void swallowing him whole.

Then he felt a pair of hands. They made him jerk in fear while crawling back away from the being, presumably screaming, but he couldn't tell over the deafening static. He just kept moving away until he was up against a wall. He wasn't sure who this was, but it couldn't have been someone with good intentions if they were in the trash zone.

The touch soon returned, this time going directly to the base of his neck.

Oh god! I was right! They are going to kill me! This is how I die! Choked to death by some rando while Sky is waiting for me! Probably wondering when I will get ba-

His thoughts were abruptly cut off as he felt the other hand on top of his head, fingers gently running through his hair while the previous hand gave the nook of his neck an equally gentle squeeze.

It felt…

… Nice. 

Tender. Like the touch of a worried but calm and composed mother. One that told you she was confident it would be fine.

Had he stopped screaming? It felt like it. His throat no longer hurt. The hand in his hair retreated, followed by the other one. It made him worried again, not sure if the person had abandoned him or was preparing a killer attack. Or maybe they just pulled back to see him suffer again.

Then he felt something again. This time, it was wrapped around his shoulders. He greedily gripped onto the material and pulled it further around himself to completely cover him. It felt rough and plasticy, with a zipper on the edges he held. 

Then the hands returned, picking him up and holding him safely in their arms, as if they handled small creatures like him all the time.

He didn't have a reason to struggle. He still couldn't see or hear, so it wouldn't do him any good. He just closed his eyes and tried to say something he hoped came out the way he intended it.

"Thank you."

*~*~*

He had zoned out at some point, trying to ride out the episode until it hopefully calmed down. It took a while (how long? He can't say) until the static was settling down and he could see somewhat.

He could make out what looked like a… TV? It was on, judging by the bright light coming from it. Then there was… he couldn't tell exactly. He had to squint in order to tell, but it looked like a vase? Maybe some flowers? He decided to do something crazy and reached out to touch them. Unfortunately, he was met with a stinging pain. 

Not flowers. Cactus.

He could vaguely hear someone talking. At first he assumed it was the TV, but then he wondered if it really was. Maybe the person who rescued him was calling the authorities. Wouldn't be surprising. Not the first time he'd had TasqueManager sicced on him. 

The Addison decided to not put up a fight and just relax against the armchair he was put into. He snuggled up into the armrest and wrapped what he now could tell was a leather jacket around himself more comfortably. 

He closed his eyes again to see if he could will some clarity into his senses. 

He laid there, enjoying the sound of calming rock flowing from the TV. Hm. What a lovely song. He was pretty sure he used to hear this type of stuff a lot at some point. He just couldn't recall where or why.

Then he heard something that cleared everything up, including the static.

"Spams…? Buddy? Can… Can you hear me now?"

He knew that voice.

He shot up straight and looked over at the yellow shape standing across the room, leaning against the doorway for support. She looked like her legs could give out at any moment.

"... … … F… Flash?"

Flash looked like she could cry as she covered her mouth with her hands, this big, emotional, definitely not business presentable smile on her face. It wasn't her customer service smile or her snarky grin. That was a genuine smile of joy, with the tears to match.

It hit Spamton like a truck and he felt this big wave of repressed tears pushing at his ducts. He just stared at her with trembling eyes before he couldn't hold it back anymore and tears started pouring out of him. 

" Spams… I… I can't… you're alive. You're here! You're ALIVE!" She grew louder as she started running at him with the clear mannerisms of someone getting ready to hug another person to death. 

He wasn't ready for something so intimate so soon, since this was the first time in years they had been face to face. But he didn't have any energy to stop her. He didn't feel like putting in the effort. She could have her hug. He was generous.

Flash leaned in and hugged him tightly, yet clearly showed restraint as she didn't pick him up or pounce on him like a yellow tiger. 

Actually… This felt quite nice. He wasn't sure why, but being hugged by Flash again felt like… something he had missed for so long. Even though he got hugs from Sky and sometimes from Click.

"Spams! Oh I've missed you so so so so SO MUCH! I-" she quickly interrupted herself and pushed back from the hug, as if she realized how inappropriate that was of her to do so suddenly. She quickly bowed her head apologetically.

"HOLY CRAP! I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! I can't believe how awful I was! I-I can't believe I talked to you like that! That I'd act like such a jackass to your face! I was an idiot! I hope I can make up for my nasty attitude back then!"

Spamton felt overwhelmed by the sudden apology being shouted at him, as if he was a judge and she was pleading for her life.

Normally, he'd be relishing that type of reaction. It was everything he'd dreamed of. But at that point, after living with Click and having grown closer with them again, he couldn't find any enjoyment in Flash's guilt.

He reached a hand out and gave the top of her head a push. She looked up at him with this confused face, tears still rolling down her cheeks. Was he trying to pet her or punch her?

"... [Snooze]"

She stared at his deadpan face dumbfounded, piecing together what he had just done. Then, after thinking about it, she started snickering, then chuckling, then it was a full-blown cackle as she held her stomach. Spamton's expression shifted to a slightly satisfied smirk, watching her laugh as if it was the best joke she'd ever heard.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Haaaaa. Aaah. I'm so glad you didn't lose your sense of humor. But… is there anything I can do for you? Do you need anything?"

Actually… there was one thing he needed at that moment. Something he knew Flash would always keep around for emergency cases. It was a, frankly, silly request. But he didn't care at that point. He had a craving.

"DINOSAUR [$7.99 Nugget meal]."

*~*~*

Spamton stared at the brontosaurus between his fingers, mouth already watering as he prepared for The Bite™. He unceremoniously put the head of the dinosaur into his mouth and swiftly decapitated the deep-fried creature.

"Holy crap! You freaking killed it, dude! Were you the reason dinosaurs went extinct???" Flash commented as she sat on the couch beside his seat, laying against the armrest so she could see him as he consumed.

"I'LL [make your own business] U EXT1NCT IN [30 seconds or less]! DON,T [TeSt YoUr LuCk]!" He growled at her with an intimidating tone, like a dog warning someone they were angry.

But, to flash, it was more akin to a chihuahua than any other dog. She chuckled and laid her head down as she watched him inhale a pterodactyl whole.

"Spam… I… what happened to your voice? You sound so… I don't know. Is it a virus or something?"

He appreciated her not pointing out how it sounded. Whatever she was going to say wouldn't have been nice to hear.

"SOME THING [Like comment and subscribe] TH4T!"

"Soooo… you've become the average influencer?"

"I KNOW! IT'S [pain]!11!" Spamton emphasized his point by putting a hand to his forehead and throwing it back dramatically, earning a snort from Flash.

It felt strange, being able to joke around with her like absolutely nothing happened. Like they had just agreed for a chat over dinner yesterday. Not like they had been separated for years, with one of them presumed dead. He wasn't sure how that was possible. 

Maybe he was in denial about how awful the thing she did was. Or maybe he just wanted company so badly that he was willing to ignore his own emotions for some peace.

"You haven't changed a bit, have you?"

That was something he wasn't expecting to hear. Click had just claimed that he had become a good man. It was something he could brush off as pleasantries. But being told by his old buddy, his ex-partner in crime, basically his annoying older sister, that he was the same Spamton as he was before, despite how broken and aged he was… it brought another bout of emotions to the surface.

"The glitches are new, but it seems like I can kiiiiinda decipher it by- S-Spams?" Flash stopped her casual conversation as she noticed his change in demeanor, just quietly looking at his plate with darkened glasses as he ate.

"Is… is it ok? Is there something you need?"

"... Why did you leave me?"

"Ah, damn. Spams, I… I really couldn't tell you. I-It was crappy of me to yell at you like I did. You worked hard for your success. Just because it came easy to you doesn't mean you didn't put in effort. I shouldn't have said that just because my business took ages to get off the ground."

He felt a pang of guilt from that acknowledgement, since he knew for a fact it wasn't true.

"I… I missed you… Wh-why d-d-d-didn't you talk to me? W-we always made up after blow-outs…"

"I tried! I really did!"

"Huh?" Wait… she did? Or is she just trying to cover her ass?

"I-I swear to you, I really did try everything I could think of! I went by your house, but you were never home! You always stayed in the mansion! When you sold it, I started getting so worried! So I tried to call you, but you'd never pick up! Like, ever! I was scared that you might have been ignoring me.

But I had to talk to you, damn it! So I went by the mansion, but they wouldn't let me in! I demanded to talk with you, but they just threw me out for not being cool enough to hang! Their words, not mine. 

I started to feel hopeless since I had no way to reach you, no matter how often I'd call in a day! I… I honestly thought you hated me and never wanted to see me again so… I finally gave up after a while."

…

…

…

The silence between the two of them was suffocating.

Unlike Click, Flash was more than able to lie. She could be pulling all of this out of her ass just to appease the puppet. But… it felt… genuine. Plus, as he thought about it, it all seemed to make sense to him. 

[Mike]

Did he really convince Spamton to sell his home so, not only would he be homeless if he ever had to leave, but also so the others wouldn't be able to see him? 

Was it possible he'd somehow cut the line of communication with anyone aside from himself and clients? It seemed like something not too unbelievable, judging by how much power he's shown himself to have.

He had completely isolated Spamton from anyone who cared about him.

He convinced him they were cutting him off.

He made Spamton hate them.

Just so he could control him.

His eyes were intensely focused on his hands as he finally managed to put all the pieces together of this mess he called his life.

He had believed, for just a moment, earlier that day, that Mike was someone who could be reasoned with. Someone who could have an ounce of care for his broken puppet. 

How much of an idiot am I for even considering that? God I'm such a moron! I've gone completely mental!

… And it's all because of him.

"Spamton…? Spamton? Please, just hear me out. I'm sorry I didn't try harder! I didn't mean to leave you in such a hard situation! I… I should have broken into the mansion and hunted you down so I could have apologized!"

"... … … … … … Flash… where is the nearest object you're willing to part with?"

"Huh? What…? Um… That- that plate, I guess?" 

He looked down at the now empty plate with a blank expression, his face unable to portray the rage he was feeling at that moment. "... Perfect" was all he muttered before he reeled back and smashed the plate onto the floor, breaking it into a hundred tiny pieces of sharp ceramic.

The yellow Addison was scared crapless as she launched herself onto the other side of the couch in complete astonishment. She had not expected such a sudden outburst.

"... … … I… I'm sorry." She sounded so sad 

"[£@&!] [*£@?&$¥] [π√!®%€¥]!!!!!1!!1" He wasn't even speaking at that point, just letting out long strings of bleeped out curse words as he started pulling his hair in fury, his face turning redder by the second.

Flash wasn't saying anything anymore. She just sat there and stared at him as he had his tantrum.

"[¢©%&]ING [Mike]!!12!1! SO N OF A [Biscuit]!!! N4ZTY [as you know] [illegitimate child]!!! !!" He was finally coherent enough to form words as he picked up one of the bigger shards of the plate and once again tossed it at the floor.

"... W-wait! Wh-who-who's Mike?" Flash asked confusedly and hesitantly moved closer to Spamton, though not closing the distance completely.

"HE,S THE [lovely business partner] THAT [help yourself to] SUCC SEED!!! HE H3LPED ME [cheating is for losers] MY WAY TO THE TOP!! !!! ! THEN HE [generously] CUT ME OFF FROM [Vile scum like you] AND MAD M3E HATE U!!!1111!" 

"W-w-w-wait! Slow down! Are you… saying… actually I have no idea. All I got is he made you hate us. You mean he talked bad about us to you?"

"YESSSS!!! HE,Z 3V3N [Squeaky clean] ME RIGHT NOW SSSO I I I CAN'T [say no-no words]!!!"

"... He's… censoring you??? He gave you those glitches?!"

"[RIGHT ON THE MONE¥]"

"Tell me what that bastard did to my bro! What the hell happened to you?!"

And so, after some calming down, he could finally settle down to explain the whole story, all of it. Everything from the first call to finding the phone gone that very day. Everything except for the things he knew she shouldn't know. 

*~*~*

"... … … Spamton. I… Oh my god. How can one man survive so much bullcrap in one lifetime? I… I can't even start to understand what that must have been like! You were manipulated and forced to do such terrible things, then made homeless and broke, then mentally tortured by this bastard as he still tries to manipulate you! This 'Mike' is the reason I lost my pal?!"

"TOO MY [the more you know], YEAS."

"I'm going to kill him! I'm going to tear ass through whatever type of dimensions necessary to beat him into a pulp!"

Spamton didn't comment on that. He was too conflicted to really know how to respond at that moment. He was happy that he wasn't abandoned. He was mortified that he could have saved himself years of suffering if he'd just reached out earlier to his former friends. He was mad at Mike, he was mad at himself. He no longer had anyone to blame but himself for allowing himself to be used like that.

"... Y WERE YOU IN THE TRACH ZONE?" He suddenly asked, deciding to not acknowledge any of those feelings tearing him up inside.

"Ah. Funny story, actually. I had gone out to buy something when I was passing by the entrance to the trash zone. I noticed someone walking out of there."

Spamton perked up and leaned in closer, wondering if this could be the phone thief. Maybe he'd get a lead so he could find it again!

… Wait, why did he still want it?

"I didn't pay any mind until I walked closer. Then, I noticed that it was Survey !"

"SURVEY!?!"

"I know! I saw him coming out of there carrying a trash bag! It looked like it was mostly empty. But there was something in it and it made me suspicious, so after I had done my shopping, I just had to check it out! I needed to see if there was something special about it. Imagine my surprise when… You suddenly came tumbling out of a hole in the wall."

The white Addison sat in stunned silence, trying to understand what all of it meant. He didn't want to believe it. He wanted to not even consider the option that Survey had stolen his phone. 

Why?! Why would he take my phone?! What reason would he have?! Survey never does anything unless he has to!

"I was so scared and overwhelmed. I thought I was seeing a ghost. Or… a walking corpse. You were just mumbling incoherently. I wondered if I was dreaming. But when I tried to get your attention by touching you, you started screaming and crawling away. Then… I think you know what happened."

"[FLASH BANG!], I C AN'T- IT… I… I… thought you abandoned me. I hated you. How could I? How could I have been so quick to turn my back on you, just like I thought you did…?"

"HEY! Don't you dare! That scumsucking creep fed you lies and twisted your mind! He literally corrupted you! It's not your fault!" Flash walked over to him and kneeled down beside him so she could look at him seriously.

He looked back at her, not sure what to feel at that moment. He slowly reached up and pulled his glasses off, looking down at them with an uncertain frown.

He saw himself in both the colored lenses. His eyes were so deeply sunken with tear troughs running along the underside on his silicon skin. He looked so tired. So tortured. Added with the puppet features and permanently exposed teeth, he looked nothing like his old self.

Then he placed the glasses down on the table slowly, deciding that he didn't care right then. He just cared about one thing. Just one thing he knew he had been needing for quite some time.

Flash looked at him as he stayed quiet, not wanting to pressure him or interrupt his thoughts. But she got a big surprise as Spam jumped out of the chair and clung onto her in one big hug, burying his face in her shoulder. 

She fell back onto her butt as she caught him and herself. Then, after a moment of processing, she sighed heavily and hugged him back as tightly as she was physically able to.

"I've missed you, Spams."

"I missed you so much more, Flash."

Chapter Text

Spamton: EVERY    ! SAY [Bonjour] T0 MY SW3ET BABY! !,!!

I'm glad to finally have an idea of what Sky looks like. I had a pretty hard time picturing them to start with, but after some thinking, I think it turned out great!

I'm not sure how many noticed or put together the small hints I tossed in, but I actually based Sky on something. Specifically, the yellow human soul from Undertale, the one representing justice and the cowboy gear.

This mostly came about around chapter 5, when I remembered the Neo fight and Spamton activating Kris' heart to turn yellow. It only made sense for me to be a little cheeky.

But yeah. That's why I wanted to draw the cute little babby and the Yee haw teen.

I probably have more headcanons rattling around in this noggin, but I can't think of any rn. But if anyone is curious, I'm always active in the comments lol.

But until then! See ya next chapter!

Chapter Text

God.

Survey was EXHAUSTED.

He felt like absolute crap since SOMEONE kept him awake all freakin night.

The 'Temporary' solution was truly temporary. After a few attempts at calling, the duct tape on the phone had loosened enough to allow it to ring at full volume. How he managed that was still a mystery, but either way, it was torture. 

Survey just laid in bed, groaning tiredly as he heard the phone call for the umpteenth time. And from three rooms over no less. How the hell could an old phone like that be so loud???

He rolled over and covered his head with a pillow, reaching out to look at his phone. 6:24. No point in going to sleep anymore. Might as well get a headstart on the day. He sat up and rubbed his blurry eyes, almost falling asleep where he sat until another call woke him right back up.

30 minutes later was the same thing. He ate his cereal and listened to the tune of Mike's calls. 

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE ME ANSWER! YOU'RE JUST ANNOYING!" He called out towards the phone, hoping he'd get the message.

He didn't.

God damnit. I can't take this. I've only had this phone in my house for a day and it's already driving me mad. I can't imagine how Spamton must have felt after years of this?

He took another spoonful of cereal and ate, trying to think up a solution to his problem.

Could I put it in a soundproof box and bury it? Should I destroy it? Hide it somewhere it will never be found. I dread this last option… should I keep it and make sure no one else falls victim to it?

He groaned and laid his head down on the table, feeling so powerless and lost. Could he really put a stop to this menace all on his own? Those were some scary thoughts. The answer wasn't much better. He had to. For Spamton.

He sighed again and brought the spoon back to his face. But as his vision was brought up from the table, he instead saw a phone receiver in his hand, behind it the rest of the old phone model. 

He yelped in a panic and threw it at the rest of it, causing the thing to get pushed off the table and to the floor, making an audible splash and clatter.

The Addison looked confused. What just happened? He slowly moved to look over the edge, seeing a toppled over bowl with milk and cereal spilled everywhere, along with a discarded spoon.

Did… did I just…? Oh no. Oh god. I'm starting to see things now, aren't I? Fantastic. Wonderful. Just what I needed. Ugh.

He couldn't deal with this anymore. Screw breakfast. He was going to find a solution for this problem immediately. Plus, he needed to get away from the house.

*~*~*

Survey wished he could just go to sleep. He wished he could push this whole operation off until later, but that would be irresponsible. He'd always taken on a very 'Big sibling' esq role over the others. He'd break up fights or be the go-to if someone needed advice. He had to hold out. He had to be strong. For Spamton. For his old friend.

The ad soon made it to his destination, hopping off the bus and walking into the clothing store.

"Thank you, madam! Please come again~!" That perfectly practiced customer service voice was on point, as it always was with Banner.

"Hey. Banner. I need some help with something."

"Survey! So nice to see you heeeEEEEERE?!" Banner's greeting turned into a screech as he spotted his friend standing besides him. Survey tilted his head in slight confusion at that reaction.

"HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THINGS NEAT! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU?!"

"What?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHAT'??? You're a complete mess! Did you even get changed last night?! And- URP ! Your breath stinks! Did you not brush your teeth?! Or your hair?!?"

The blue darkener looked surprised as he had a mirror held up to him, being shown clear evidence of the claim. His hair was a mess, even under his beanie. His clothes were sweat stained and had food spill on it from the incident that morning. His bags were extremely prevalent under his eyes and… yep, he looked like crap.

"Dang… that is pretty bad."

"Well I see you really do need some help! Come on! Let's get you fixed up!"

As he was grabbed by the sleeve, something… strange happened. He looked down and saw a hand grabbing him. But not Banner's. It was smaller and white. He could have also sworn he heard someone say "Can you at least try to act like you care about me?!"

Horrified, he instinctively ripped his arm away and stumbled backwards. He fell into a box of pants, gasping from shock.

Banner just stood there, looking scared and confused by this sudden harsh reaction. They just stared for five quiet seconds.

"... I… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… scare you…"

"I… N-No. No. I'm sorry. I'm just… very very tired. You just surprised me."

"... Sooooooo… wh-what did you… need help with?"

"Well… I was wondering if… I could borrow some money. I need to buy something as soon as possible, but I can't afford it right now and I don't have time to save up-"

"Oh! Well why didn't you just say so?! Of course! I'm always ready to lend some money to a friend in need! Say, how much do you need?"

"Umm… about… D$1000…"

"I'm sure that ca-... D-did… did you say… 1000???"

"L-Look! I-I really… I need this as soon as possible, it's really necessary!"

"What are you using D$1000 for???"

"I need to buy a really durable safe!"

"What?! Why?!"

"Um… someone… has been breaking into my shop and stealing things. It's only been smaller stuff for now, but it's been in the back and that makes me nervous. If they're able to get back there, then all my research will be in danger! I gotta get this to protect my things."

"Oh… That does make sense. Well… it's a little much to just ask for out of the blue. Not that I'm not willing to help! It's just a big dip in my funds right now, since I'm currently saving up for something of my own."

Survey felt his heart rate rising as he looked at Banner, feeling both terrible for asking this, but also desperate to get Mike all sorted so he could finally get his home back.

"... But you seem to need it more. Alright. Fine. You can have it. But please, pay me back as soon as you're able to."

"Of course! I will, I promise."

Banner nodded and started going through his wallet, taking out the money. He handed it to Survey, who took it gratefully and thanked him profusely before heading for the door.

"Goodbye. I'll see you later, ok?"

"GET SOME SLEEP, SURV!"

Survey chuckled at that and continued towards the bus stop. He was way too tired to walk all the way to the hardware store.

*~*~*

They hummed as they waited for the bus to arrive, holding a bag full of duvets for the rest of the household. Swatch then looked down at their phone, seeing the bus was running a minute late. They'd have to make a complaint about that if it escalated.

But, luckily, it didn't as they saw the bus approach and stop right in front of them. They sighed in relief and stepped on, trying to find an empty seat in the crammed vehicle.

They spotted one near the back, next to an Addison. The bird walked over and asked "Excuse me, may I sit?"

The blue man just raised his hand in an 'It's all yours' gesture without even looking at them. They found that kind of rude, but decided to just accept the offer without complaint.

The two sat in silence, the shorter of them never once looking up at the other one. Swatch wondered if he was just having a bad day or if he was usually this rude. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. He might just be having an awful day. You shouldn't judge someone like that, Swatch.

Then, as they sat there, waiting for their stop, the bus came to a stop at a red light. The sudden halt seemed to have been too much, as the Addison started leaning forward and was about to smack his face into the seat in front.

But Swatch was quick to instinctively grab a hold of his shoulders to prevent that. 

"My! Careful sir! You could… have…" they were left confused as when they pulled him back, his head just flopped to the side and landed on their arm. 

Oh. He fell asleep. That explains the way he acted. He really looks tired. Poor guy.

Swatch understood that type of exhaustion. They never really worked themselves to the bone like that, but they've had a few sleepless nights here and there. It wasn't foreign. 

Being the sympathetic Swatchling they were, they didn't have the heart to wake the poor man. They just smiled and reached into their large bag, fetching one of the duvets and slipping it under his head for a more comfortable nap.

These poor ads. How often do they work themselves half to death? The only one I've known on a personal basis was Spamton, and he was a star example of that. This guy looks like he-

As they looked over at him with their shift in attention, they suddenly had a moment of realization. That beanie. Those glasses. That's… the person that the human…

They felt a chill run through them as they suddenly tensed, unsure of what to think. 

They had been finding themselves going back to that day, where they found the little human. Not only when they first met them, but also having to explain to TasqueManager that they found their owner and that they weren't, in fact, neglecting them.

But mostly, they thought back to two moments in particular.

First, when they said Spamton's name.

Second, when Survey started talking to them.

Yes. That was his name. They recall the other Addison saying it. Survey. What a coincidence to run into him. But, the truth was, they had been tempted to go out and look for him themselves. The butler just had too many questions to be satisfied with how things left off. They needed to know what happened to the kid. Were they safe? Were they happy? Had he heard anything about Spamton from them?

The last question might have been a little strange. They weren't one for snooping, but… Spamton was a different case altogether. Not only was he unstable and potentially dangerous, he was also a danger to himself and generally unwell. 

Swatch cared for the man quite a bit. He had been a loyal customer and a friendly face around the Color Café to all the Swatchlings. They would even go so far as to consider him somewhat of a friend. He'd confide in them about things he never told anyone else, at first after a few drinks, later on completely sober. Someone like that… you just can't help but to find endearing and enjoyable to be around.

"Mmmnnnng…" Swatch looked up at that sound and glanced over at the slowly waking ad resting against their arm. He seemed to be somewhat struggling to even wake up, slipping between being half awake and half asleep. Swatch decided to help him wake up. Probably for the best.

"Hey. Are you awake, sir?" They spoke softly, but loud enough to be heard clearly. Survey grumbled something as he pushed himself up and rubbed at his tired tired eyes.

"Huh…? Oh, sorry. I must have nodded off. Didn't mean to…" he slurred under his breath as he felt the side of his face confused. He then looked back and saw the white puffy blanket he had been resting on.

"No problem at all, master Survey. I'm quite sturdy and I do not mind."

He looked up and met the soft orange diamonds that were his travel partner's eyes.

He recognized them in an instant.

"S-Swatch??"

"Quite the coincidence, no? I was quite surprised myself. But you looked so worn-out that I didn't have the heart to wake you."

That caused Survey to look panicked, quickly looking up at the display showing the next stop. He deflated as he saw he missed his stop. Swatch looked a little concerned at that while they put the duvet away.

"I missed it…"

"Ah… I see… my apologies, Master Survey. I did not intended for that."

"No… no. It's… I'm fine. Don't worry about it. I'll just… get off on the way back."

"What? But couldn't that take over an hour? No no no! That won't do!"

Survey looked up at them with a completely clueless face, looking like he hadn't even comprehended them or didn't believe what he was hearing.

"Please. I insist, if you will allow me. We can get off at my stop and from there, I'll call you a taxi to your destination. I am partly at fault after all."

He stared for a second, feeling stunned by the gesture. He shouldn't have, considering who he was talking to, but he just hadn't been expecting it.

"Um… if… it's no trouble. It wasn't your fault at all, really. I just haven't been sleeping well last night."

"Well, either way, I don't mind in the least. My stop should be soon, so let's just wait until then. Meanwhile, why don't we chat?" They were trying so hard to stay put together and not immediately start bombarding this poor tired ad with some pretty big questions.

Survey nodded and looked out the window, considering what he wanted to say.

Swatch decided to start. "Aside from the restlessness, are you doing alright otherwise?"

"Yeah… I'm doing ok. It's just… a lot. Like… a lot a lot."

"Hm… I see. That's understandable. What with the… tasque and all."

That caused him to remember a question he had held onto for a few years. A question he'd long thought he'd given up on.

"Swatch. Please, can you tell me something?"

"O-of course, Master Survey. What do you need?"

"Did you… work at the mansion during 1997?"

Oh. Oh. It was… that type of question. They hadn't realized he knew… if that was what he…

"Yes. Yes I did. What are you wondering about him?"

Survey sighed, a weird feeling settling into him with how Swatch realized exactly what he meant.

"Please… tell me what he was like at the time. When he lived at the mansion." He could already feel himself tearing up, but tried to repress it.

"Well… where to start? When I first met him, he had just moved in and was celebrating with a drink. Left one hell of an impression. Loud, self-centered, a bit of an odd type. He was very… eccentric. 

But, then I started hearing about him from my Swatchlings, gossiping about their encounters with him. He'd talk their ears off and have full conversations with them as they worked. So… quite the social guy.

I got a taste of that myself when he'd frequent the café. He would chatter on about a little bit of everything, until he'd run out of steam and start to pester me for information about myself. 

It was… very forward. But it was sweet. Endearing. We Swatchlings desire to serve, and he'd want nothing more than a favor and a chat. He really grew on me with every visit."

Survey might just start crying after all. He didn't realize there were so many people who actually appreciated him there. That… gave him mixed feelings.

"Then came the first time he got drunk drunk. He became a mess and sobbed to me about everything he had to go through. I'd support him like I'd do any other patron. Then… it would happen again, though he'd seem less plastered. 

After a few times of this, he'd talk to me about his worries without even a single drink. That's when… I failed in my professionalism. I talked with him more personally, had chats with him after closing. 

He really wasn't as egotistical as he made himself out to be. He was actually quite… sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this to you. He may be gone, but I don't intend to break his trust."

"I-I… When… When did he… break? When did his life go so bad?"

That sounded like an extremely invasive question to Swatch, especially considering what Spamton had mentioned about his past friends who abandoned him. They felt like they didn't want to tell him if he didn't care at the time.

"Why would that concern you, Master Survey?"

Survey didn't answer, he had just lowered his head into his knees and was trying to hold himself together. Why was he freaking out?! Why had his heart rate suddenly skyrocketed out of nowhere?! Why couldn't he breathe properly?! Why was he hearing the ringing of a phone somewhere?!

Swatch looked down as they didn't receive an answer and immediately regretted the snappy attitude. Oh no! They forgot he wasn't doing well! They should have gone easy on him!

"H-Hey! Master Survey! Are you ok? Do you need medical attention?!"

"I-I-I… I c-c-cah… m-m-ma-make it… stop… I-I'm sorry Spamton… I'm sorry… pl-please m-make him stop…"

"Survey! Can you hear me?! Are you alright?!"

He couldn't hear them. He couldn't hear anything. He felt sick. Everything was moving and his body was shaking like mad. He felt stuck. He felt like dark walls were closing in on him. A dark void of claustrophobia.

"Please… please… stop! I'll get it! I'll get it just… just stop it! I-I can't… b-breathe!"

The butler understood now. Survey was having a panic attack. They quickly slammed the stop button and took Survey by the shoulders, which earned them a whimper and tensed shoulders. 

"I'm so sorry, Survey. But this is not a safe place to be right now." As soon as the doors opened, they quickly ushered the shaking ad out and sat down at a bench near the bus stop. 

They took out the duvet again and gently nudged it against his leg. "Here. This might help ground you. I don't know what you typically need for this, but this is all I have on me."

Survey had started taking a couple of shallow breaths, already feeling that intense terror starting calm. The background sound of ringing was disappearing all together, but the quivering still remaining.

He felt the duvet and quietly clutched it to his chest, finding the feeling of it comforting.

"There you go. Nice and easy. Just breathe, ok? Follow my instructions if you're able to. First, breathe in…" they spoke calmly as they showcased how he should do it.

They both sat there for a while, doing breathing exercises to help him calm down. After a few minutes of this, he felt much better and could finally think straight again.

"I'm sorry… I don't know what…"

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault and it's completely normal."

"N-not for me. Thi-this is the first time this has happened. I-I've never f-f-felt this before."

"Ah. I see. Well I guess stress can do that to even the calmest of people. Do you need any more help? If so, I'm right here."

"I… don't think this is something you can help with. This is something only I can fix."

"Aha! No wonder you broke down! That is not something you should be putting on yourself!"

"You don't underst-"

"Listen. Even if you're right, thinking like that isn't going to do you any good. If no one can help you, at least let them support you. You can't mentally take on so much stress. Perhaps it'd be better if you headed home and g-"

"NO!!!" Survey shouted before he could even think, hands quickly covering his mouth as he stared in shock. He scared himself with that scream.

"... Is there someone you could call to pick you up? You need rest, clearly. I'm sorry for intruding so much, but if you're a friend to Spamton then I can't help but to worry about you. At least a little."

"... … I-I don't know… maybe Click? They should be off by now…"

"I'll stay here with you until someone picks you up. I wouldn't want you to have another attack alone."

Survey looked away and nodded, accepting that he really did need some emotional support right then. He had tried to keep cool under so much stress and new information, never once letting his guard down. No wonder he'd freak out like that. 

To be honest… that didn't even feel like another one of those hallucinations he'd had during the day. It felt different. That was… probably just a legit panic attack. 

He thanked god that Swatch had been there. What a wonderful person. That was someone who he'd be glad to see Spamton with.

Chapter Text

Click was beyond worried. They were TERRIFIED. 

Spamton hadn't come home for hours and he never stated when he'd return. That was worse than him being gone beyond the given timeframe. At least then they would know something was wrong for sure.

But as it was, he could be totally fine or dead in a ditch and they weren't any the wiser. They just kept pacing back and forth in front of the sofa, deciding whether or not to go out and look for him.

Sky sat on the sofa and watched them walk around in circles, chewing on their blanket absentmindedly. They seemed totally fine, despite Spam having been gone for quite a while. Click couldn't understand why they were so calm when they themselves were freaking out about it.

But, they were finally brought back to reality as they heard the backdoor open and close. Immediately, they bolted over towards the back and were met with Spamton, casually taking off his shoes.

"SPAMTON! HOLY HELL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?! I was worried sick about you! Why were you gone for so long?!? You said you'd just go out for a breath of fresh air!"

"I [Lost? Confused? Good!] TRA ACK OF [TIME'S UP!]."

"THAT'S IT! I'm buying you a new phone whether you want it or not! I'm not letting you wander around without any way of contacting you!"

"[Coolio] CLICKER."

He then walked past them into the house and headed for Sky, who cheered his name and made grabby hands at him.

Click looked at him in confusion, very much not expecting such a casual reaction from him. He'd usually be at least a little sheepish about the long absence. 

"Did… did anything interesting happen?"

"N0PE!"

The pink Addison scratched their head, watching Spamton just bounce Sky on his lap and humming playfully. He was… way too casual! Something had to have happened!

But they didn't get a chance to bring it up, as a knock on the door shook an eep out of them. They looked over at Spamton, who gave a nod as a go ahead to answer.

Click sighed and walked into the hallway, opening the front door. Flash stood outside, yelling as soon as the door opened.

"CLICK! CLICK OH MY GOD! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"

"Wh-wh-what?!? What happened?! Is everything alright?!"

"WE CAN'T TALK OUT HERE! INSIDE! NOW!"

Before they could react, Flash shoved her way past Click and rushed inside. Click turned and followed, panicking at the thought of her seeing Spamton.

"W-w-w-wait! Flash! D-d-d-don't!"

Flash marched straight to the living room, not even stopping to listen to her pink friend. They stumbled after, trying to catch her before she got there. But they were too slow.

Flash stopped right in the doorway and gasped, covering her mouth and falling completely silent. Click caught up and looked between the two frozen ads with fear and desperation.

"C… Click… you… y-you…"

"WAIT! FLASH, PLEASE! I CAN EXPLAIN! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!"

"I can't believe this… Spamton… you…!"

"PLEASE! PLEASE JUST LET ME EXPLAIN! PLEASE!"

"You let him dye his own hair?!? How could you?! You know he has no sense of style! You should never let him pick out his own look!"

"... … … … What??? "

"YEAH! YOU SH0ULD [know the ropes] [BUY BUY BUY] NOW! I HAVE [no refunds!] FASHION [Since 1997]!"

"... … … What?!? "

They both looked at Click with this scolding glare, until Flash let slip a snort that had her frown wavering.

"[Please install Flash to view content]! DON'T [canned laughter] YET! YOU'LL [LATEST MOVIE LEAKS!!!] THE JOKE!" Spamton started snorting too as she had ruined his facade, making the giggles escape while he smacked her on the back.

Click looked between them both as they were struggling to hold in their laughter. They had a blank stare on their face, totally confused and stunned into silence as they processed what they just witnessed.

"... You… I… that was… a PRANK?!? "

That busted the floodgates wide open as they both burst out into uproarious cackling, Flash falling onto the floor next to Spamton. Click glared at them both with pure, seething rage in their eyes. 

"YOU TWO ARE LITERALLY THE WORST PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE DARK WORLD!!!"

"BU-HU-HU-HU-HUT YOU LOOOOOOVE USSSS-S-S-S!!!"

"NOT ANYMORE! I'M GOING TO MY ROOM AND NEVER COMING OUT!"

They both started laughing harder while trying their best to beg Click not to leave, though failing miserably. Spamton fell to his knees as he gripped his aching sides, tears running down his cheeks from all the howling they were doing.

Then he felt something touch his back, reminding him of the other presence in the room. He turned his head to Sky, who looked at him like they were asking what the hell he was doing.

"I-I-AH HA HA HA! SORRY, SKY! SORRY!" He picked the kid up and held them to his chest, letting out a few snorts before both he and Flash managed to calm down. That's when she also noticed the lightener.

"Whu… oh. Right. I forgot… so… this is Sky?"

"[Congratulations! You win!]. SAY HELLO, SKY!"

"... Bawoo'' Sky mumbled and waved their arm at Flash, making a grabbing motion. She moved closer for a better look, but fell right into the human's trap as they grabbed a hold of her nose and pulled it down. It made her yelp and pull back, causing her nose to bounce back into position with a cartoony 'Boioioing!'. Now it was Sky's turn to laugh, clapping their hands as Spamton walked over to the couch with them.

"... Little brat" the offended ad grumbled and rubbed her nose.

"I KNOW. BUT UR STILL MY [friends list]!"

She gave him a glare before grinning brightly and heading over to play some more with the kid. Spamton had to make sure that she didn't try anything crazy, since lighteners, especially baby ones, are a lot more fragile than most cyber folks. So no tossing or dangling or anything like that.

After a little while, he concluded she had learnt what she can and can't do with the baby, so he had stopped lecturing her. That's when he felt a silent yawn escape his mouth. 

Sky is being looked after right now… guess a little shut-eye couldn't hurt. She'll do fine with them…

He let his eyes slip shut, head lolling forward as he finally let himself relax after all that had happened.

*~*~*

…

…

… 

Where… where am I?

Spamton sure wasn't in Click's house, that was for sure. He seemed to be… on a road. In the middle of it, in fact. But he couldn't see any cars or people walking by. The sides of the road were just an endless expanse of nothing. Just… that dotted line stretching far far out into the horizon. 

… I should… go home.

He started walking down the street, not even considering the situation beyond needing to find his way back… home? 

Wait. Where's home? 

He looked back, wondering if the house was that way.

Wait. That wasn't his home. His home was the dump. The bin. He lived in filth, not a nice house.

But, still, which way was that even? Was it forward? Back the other way? Would he end up in the place that was really home if he just trusted his gut? Or…

Screw this. These thoughts aren't going to help me. I'll just go here and whatever happens happens.

…

He walks for a long while. It must have been hours. Couldn't have been anything less. And it was so effortless. He just marched forward like any other vehicle, not even getting tired and never losing speed. His head was so quiet. Such a nice change of pace.

Then, from literally nowhere, a car suddenly sped right by him and left him absolutely shook . He looked up and saw a strange dog driving a small car, honking at him before continuing to drive.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, MUTT!!!" He yelled and shook his fist before sighing and continuing to walk again. But, he looked surprised when the car stopped a little bit away. It looked like someone got out of the car before it sped off again, leaving said person stranded. 

Spamton raised a concerned eyebrow, cautiously approaching the figure. But it soon began heading off somewhere. This person probably knew where they were going. So he could ask them for help! He picked up the pace and started booking it towards them as they just continued down the road, not unlike Spamton had earlier.

"WAIT! WAIT! I NEED DIRECTIONS! CAN YOU HELP?!"

He shouted as loud as he could, legs suddenly losing that durability from before and making him almost crumble to his knees from exhaustion. But he persisted, keeping himself up and running on pure willpower alone.

As he got closer, he spotted something high above the figure, which was marginally easier to make out. Still couldn't tell who they were, but he could tell what the gleam from overhead was. That all too familiar neon green shine that haunted him from time to time. 

The puppet strings.

This was Mike's work. Whoever this was was in some way related to Mike. But… were they on his side or…

Again, the puppet started jogging to catch up, straining his eyes to recognise the individual as he came closer and closer. They seemed to be thin and humanoid. And judging by the vague colors he could see, they had blue hair. They looked… familiar.

Spam's steps became slow, worry filling him as he realized who it was. He then burst into a full-out sprint, catching up soon enough and having his suspicions confirmed. 

It was Survey.

Spamton stared in shock and horror at his old friend. He looked… like absolute crap. He had deep dark bags under his eyes, he was slouching a lot more than usual and he had this vacant stare ahead of him. He was seemingly being pulled along via the strings tied around his wrists, making him shamble along like a zombie. He looked gone. He looked… so very tired.

Survey… how… why…??? Mike can't have… Survey is so clever, there is no way Mike could trick him into accepting a deal! He's too smart! But… those strings… it can't be anything other than…

"Survey! Survey, can y-" Spamton cut himself off, surprised by his crisp clear voice. But he quickly shook himself out of it and focused back on the blue Addison.

"Hey! Surv! Is everything alright? Are you there?"

He got no response, the man just continued walking down the long road towards an unknown destination. 

"Survey! Snap out of it! You can't trust him! Mike is lying, he's just tricking you! Don't fall for the promises or the sweet words!"

He gripped onto one of his arms, trying to prevent him from taking another step. But he was quickly stopped as he heard a spine-chilling noise that he had come to dread.

Looking back up again, they had reached the end of the road. What was waiting for them at the end was…

… A phone booth. 

Of course, of course it was a phone booth. Mike was always such a drama queen, everything had to be so dramatic with him.

Survey continued forward, snapping Spamton out of his shock as he bolted after him. He watched as he started to reach out towards the handle of the ringing booth. But he quickly dashed in between the two and used his body as a shield. 

"SURVEY! Don't answer that! That sick man is nothing but trouble! He'll make your life hell! He already did it to me, so don't be as gullible as I was! Don't! Answer! That! Phone!"

Survey's hand hovered just in front of Spamton's face, blocking the door. He stared at him with this hopeless gaze, one that wasn't empty anymore, but filled with desperation and begging for some sort of mercy.

His heart ached at the sight, empathy hitting him like an iron pipe to his chest. He felt an unfamiliar desire in him, to just reach out and hug him until all of his suffering was gone.

"... Please. I just want to sleep. I just want the ringing to stop. Please."

Oh.

I… I didn't think he'd… he's not drawn to Mike's charming lies. He just wants to make him stop calling. That… makes a lot more sense. He's not as stupid and easily manipulated as me.

"I… I know. That's exactly what I feel everytime he calls me. But… answering will only be bad for you! He'll tell you things you wish you never knew! He'll tie more strings around you! Just… don't fall for him like I did!"

Survey's hand started shaking a little as he stared at Spamton, his brows pinching together into a pleading expression.

"Spamton. You had to… to suffer through this for years. You had to deal with this Mike for so long. It's only been a day for me! I need to be strong! I'm supposed to be the responsible one! I need to help you. It's… the least I should do."

"Survey…" Spamton reached out and took a hold of his hand, slowly leading him away from the phone booth as it continued to ring. 

"It's not your fault. I was being… irresponsible. I just saw dollar signs and followed the instructions of a stranger. I trusted his every word over my own friends. I believed him despite everything I knew about you guys. He tricked me. And I fell for it hard."

He sat down on the ground with his friend and kept a tight hold of his hand. Survey sighed shakily and lowered his head. 

"I was… I gained a hero complex. As soon as Mike told me about everything, I was trying to figure out how to stop him from torturing you anymore. I just wanted to help you."

"Survey, you can help me, but not in the way you've been going about it. I need you to be there! I just… I want you back."

"But… I thought you hated us. I thought you never wanted to see us ever again."

"I didn't. I really didn't. But… I don't think I can survive alone anymore. I've missed the old days. I just want to see you guys again. I wanna hang out. I want you to carry my drunk ass to bed and tuck me in with a bedtime story that I for some reason asked for, despite being a middle aged man. I just want that back."

Survey chuckled gruffly and shook his head in amusement. "Same. I miss those times too. But… What about Mike? I can't just let him continue to torment you."

"Then… let's figure something out together?"

"... Yeah. It's so simple. I don't know why I never thought of it."

"Because you're a dumbass."

He laughed again and put an arm around Spamton, pulling him in closer. 

"Hey. Wanna go to Click's house? I have someone I'd like you to meet."

"Do they happen to be named Sky?"

"You were always such a surprise ruiner. You know that?"

"I've been told as much before. But yeah. I'd love to meet Sky. Let's go." Survey reached out and helped Spamton up after having stood up himself. He ruffled the short man's hair and grinned, looking at him so fondly. They didn't even notice the phone had stopped ringing as they walked back the way they came, heading down the darkened path.

*~*~*

"Hey! Spams! Ya really gonna nod off while we're hanging out?"

Spamton jerked awake and looked around in dazed confusion before his eyes landed on Flash. She had Sky on her shoulders and was leaning down so they were both at eye level, just staring at him.

"HUH??! S-S-[sincerest apologies]! I MUST H4VE [issues sleeping at night?] [A teeny smidigt]."

"Eh! Don't worry about it. No harm, no foul. You looked like you needed the nap anyway. But look! LOOK! Guess who just learnt a new word!"

Spamton raised a brow before glancing up at Sky with uncertainty.

"... WHAT DID YOU T3ACH THEM? ?"

"Oh you'll be over the moon! Trust me!"

He doubted it. But still, he looked up at Sky again as Flash coaxed them to say the line.

"Ah… awa… ah wuh… aaah wuv yu!"

…

…

"[Spamton.exe has stopped working. Search for a solution?]"

"HAHAHAHAHAH! SPAM, BUDDY?! YOU GOOD?!"

"... Am I in heaven? Because I think I'm seeing an angel" he answered with a shaking, sobbing voice, hands clasped over his mouth as his eyes had practically reshaped into hearts from the pure euphoria of that wholesome cuteness.

Flash continued to laugh, until Spamton launched at Sky for a big hug, ending up covering the entirety of Flash's face with his body. She stumbled around in a panic as Spam just cried and kissed his adorable little tyke. 

"Alright. Are you two done being little sh-" Click walked in and was about to talk, until they saw the scene unfolding in their living room. They let out a deep sigh and shook their head, wondering why it just had to be their house. They were too nice for their own good.

Chapter Text

Click let out a groan as they were so rudely awoken by the sound of knocking. They sat up and rubbed their head, not really wanting to deal with anyone so early in the morning. But, being anxiously polite, ignoring it wasn't really an option. They pulled on a robe and wandered downstairs towards the front door.

On the way, they spotted Flash through the living room doorway, sleeping soundly on the couch. The blanket wasn't even covering her legs, instead laid over her upper body and head as she snored softly. 

How can she sleep through this racket? Must have crashed from caffeine withdrawal.

They shook their head and continued to the front door, opening it slightly to peek out.

Outside was Survey, dressed up in his pajamas with a hoodie hastily pulled on over it. He didn't even put his beanie on, which was a little unusual.

"Survey? What are you doing here? And so early at that?"

He looked down at the ground, seemingly very uncomfortable or nervous to speak his mind. It worried Click, as he was usually so collected and confident. This was very strange.

"... Can I please come in? I… I really can't sleep alone right now."

"... … … O-of course! Of course! Come in."

They stepped to the side and allowed Survey inside, watching as he shuffled tiredly.

"Fair warning, you can't use the guest room and the couch is occupied. You can use my bed or there's the armchair if you'd prefer."

He didn't say much, just walked into the living room quietly and sat down in the armchair. He looked to be very anxious about something. Or at least upset. Click gulped and walked over, crouching down in front of him.

"Hey… what's wrong? Is there something going on?"

"... … … Listen. I don't… want you freaking out or anything. It might make you nervous, but please try to not get scared. Everything is fine."

Click frowned and already felt nervous from the need of a warning. They looked over at Flash quickly before looking back at Survey and nodding hesitantly.

"Ok… I came here because… Spamton asked me to… I think…"

The pink Addison went stiff as they heard his name suddenly being brought up from thin air. How? How did Survey know about Spamton? And Spamton asked him to come over? Why and how?

"S-Sp-Spamton???"

"Alright, I know it sounds weird. It probably makes me sound crazy and to be honest, I feel like I'm going crazy. But… I talked to him in my dreams. He… helped me. I was about to make a big mistake, but he stopped me. Then he invited me over here to meet Sky. 

So… how mad do I sound?"

Click sat there in silence, just staring as there were a million thoughts running through their mind in just a few seconds. But soon they managed to shake themselves back to reality and looked back up at their blue friend.

"Not at all. You sound tired and stressed. I understand. Ok, well I don't really, but I can tell you're not doing well. Maybe you should just take a nap and we can discuss this in the morning, ok? Well… it's already morning… How about before noon?"

Survey looked down at them and chuckled softly, reaching out and ruffling their hair a bit. 

"I love you, Click. You're a great person and you're so kind. Just know that I appreciate you and everything you do. Don't ever doubt that."

Suddenly, they turned completely red in the face with a glowing blush, completely unprepared for such a nice, heartfelt compliment. They just put a hand on his and patted it awkwardly.

"I love you too, Surv. You're a great guy. Now, get some rest. I'll get you a blanket and pillow. Your favourite one!" They laughed quietly before getting up and heading over to their room to find said pillow and blanket.

*~*~* 

It was completely dark wherever they were. It seemed to be some sort of hallway, only lit up by some blue flickering candles. Back behind them was a tall, stretching stairway only leading into further darkness. In front of them though was a door made out of iron bars. It towered over them like a monolith, foreboding yet inciting a certain curiosity.

It really made them want to take a look. 

After all, Sky was quite the curious child.

The little lightner pushed themselves up to their feet and walked over to the door, struggling to reach the little key in the keyhole as it was just out of reach. It made them feel disappointed.

What if Papa was behind that door?

That thought made them huff and try again, standing on the very tip of their toes to reach. They whined quietly and rose even further, their balance growing more and more unsteady. 

Then they felt the metal nudge their hand. Sky gripped it and fell back down onto their heels, turning the key. The door creaked open slightly, allowing the child inside as they just snuck in curiously.

The room was confusing. It was a spinning, blue and purple striped disk with cones in the middle. The cone's tip then became a mirror image of the ground and cone below. It made no sense and made them feel dizzy.

"Ueh hehehehehe~! Lightner, lightner! It has been ever so long since I've seen one!"

Sky turns towards the sound and spots an odd looking figure floating just a bit away. Some sort of… clown? They've never seen a clown like that before. They waddled over and stood right below him, just staring silently at him.

"My. A tiny thing, thing you are indeed. Not one to talk? Then I'll take the lead."

Sky wrinkled their nose and pointed at him. "Hoo!" They just said, very flatly and straight forward.

"Me? Ahoo hoo hoo! Same I could say for you! This freedom belongs to yours truly. Jevil, Jevil! That's me!"

Sky watched him wriggle around in the air, unable to sit still for longer than five seconds. It annoyed them a little, but they were more focused on what he said to pay attention to it.

"J… jev… jaff… Jabbu?"

"Not quite, little one! But I was never big on following the book, so it doesn't matter. Now, how did you find yourself outside here with me?"

The child tilted their head as they listened to him talk. Surprisingly, they kinda understood what he was saying. Usually they can only kinda pick up on words and tones. They interpret the rest of the context.

But with this guy, it was like there was a magical force in the air translating everything into something perfectly understandable.

They turned around and pointed at the door, mumbling something pretty much totally incomprehensible. But Jevil just nodded and grinned. That smile was so wide. But not like papa's. This one was sharp and nasty.

"I see, I see! You just find yourself so suddenly free! Stuck down here with me! Must have escaped some tragedy."

Sky spun around and pouted at him, shaking their head and just shouting "NU-UH!"

"Oh? Is that so? Well I've gotta admit, all I've seen has been tears and pain. A puppet pulling at the strings to his brain. He wants no strings to hold him down! Yet he rejects the one to turn his frown!"

Strings? Puppet? Those were words they had heard before. But the concept was a little complicated to understand. They just looked at him like he grew another head.

"Ueh heh heh heh~. So young, young. Maybe too young to understand the struggle of a puppet. I'm sure Spamton wouldn't want to burden you either."

"SPAMDON?!" They knew that name! That was their papa! What did he know about Spamton? Are they friends? Is he someone who's trying to hurt him too, like the bad static man?

Jevil seemed to have heard all their unasked questions from just that one word. He hummed thoughtfully and swayed from side to side. 

"Ah yes. 'Spamdon'. My mistake. I once knew him well, through our mutual connection. I'd play games, games, while he slaved for perfection. A bother I was, that I'll admit. But I wanted to make him smile, he must now acquit! Well… that and show him the fun of chaos~."

Sky growled softly and stomped up closer to him, grabbing his tail and janking him down to the ground. They glared at him and said "Stop! Stop move! Sit sill!"

"My. Aren't you the perfect mirror of the salesman himself? Makes sense. He did take on the role of a carer. He taught you all you know, didn't he?"

That had Sky smiling and nodding proudly, putting their hands on their hips. They began pouting when Jevil started laughing at their reaction, rolling around on the floor. 

"UAHA HAHAHAHA!!! SUCH PRIDE, PRIDE FROM SUCH A SMALL TOT! YOU REALLY DID LEARN FROM THE REAL BIG SHOT!"

They growled and kicked him angrily. This, surprisingly, caused his head to shoot out straight from his neck, only to bounce around on a spring that extended out of his body. It then retreated and his giggles died down.

"My, my. What a defensive one we got here. That's just perfect, perfect. Spamton is one who needs protection. You're a perfect subject for that selection."

"Potec Spamdon?" They looked confused and sat down on the floor, getting down to his level as he laid on his stomach.

"Yes. You're the only one who seems able and willing. One with a soul fit for the killing."

Sky interrupted him immediately and started berating him in the most babyish of baby talk. They were not up to killing anyone. Spamton showed them love and compassion, as well as self-defence. He would never allow them to kill anyone and they didn't want to.

"You take me for a fool, understandably so. I can tell you would never hurt a soul. But with that potential, the ability to protect grows stronger, does it not?"

They stopped their fuming and looked at him with confusion.

"If you possess the power of a god, yet choose the road of mercy, does that not make your decision more meaningful? Plus, violence may be necessary in some cases. Does not mean you have to take names and faces."

Sky looked at him for a long while, processing what they gleaned from his speech. If they got powerful… they could protect papa. Just because they could hurt someone doesn't mean they would. But it would make protecting him easier.

They redirected their attention to their now exposed soul, staring at it as if it would grow strong and powerful from just having that realization.

"You will grow and gain new powers with time, time. But you need a tool to fend off the slime. Your weapon, your link to the world of light, was lost when you fell down that fateful night. You need to find it, find it. Then you can grow your magic."

The baby gazed at him with a shocking amount of understanding, listening to him explain things he shouldn't have possibly known. But still, it was important for them to know. They had to find a weapon. Their weapon, it seemed. Then they could learn how to really protect papa. 

They nodded at him and sat down on his back, making the jester giggle weakly and pat their head.

"Take good care of the puppet. Cut his strings and he'll be free. Once you have done that, you can both join in with me. Now, lay your head to rest. I can feel it is time for you to depart."

Sky didn't want to leave yet. They had so many questions they wanted answered. They wanted to know how they could understand things so clearly. They wanted to understand Spamton better with this translatable atmosphere. They couldn't go yet.

Jevil let out a tired chuckle, lifting Sky with his tail and sitting them onto his stomach as he rolled over. 

"Worry not. You will not have to think of this until later years. Enjoy your youth. Say hi to Spamdon from me" he yawned and closed his eyes, relaxing back on the ground.

Sky also yawned and laid down on his round soft stomach. Everything seemed to get blurry after that.

*~*~*

Sky whined quietly as they felt the soft silicone in their mouth fall out as they awoke. They rubbed their eyes and blearily tried to take in their surroundings. 

They felt… strange. It was like they had just gotten a task they needed to do, but couldn't remember what that task was. They were confused and worried.

"Sp… Spamdon?" They mumbled softly and yawned, stretching their body from stiffness.

They felt the arms holding them jolt a little as they said that. 

"Oh. I think they woke up."

That wasn't Spamton. Who was this?! Where did Spamton go?! They started tearing up as they still couldn't see clearly.

"[Sweet deal]!!! IT'S OK! SPAMDON'S [right hand turn] H3RE! ! IT"S [Okey dokey] SKY!" They felt someone taking them from the first person's arms, cradling them to their chest soothingly.

That was Spamton! They knew that voice! Immediately, they calmed down again and grumbled tiredly, finally able to see properly again. They looked over and saw Flash on the couch, looking a little flabbergasted by something. 

"Geez! What's up with this kid? Do they just not like me?"

"[Wrong! Try again?]. THEY'RE JUST [awaken true power], THEY CAN [get $$$ fast] GRUMPY IN THE MORNING" Spamton told her as he ran his hands through their short hair, making them settle down completely.

"Nice to see them awake. I've wanted to talk to them since… you know."

Sky perked up and looked back at the new voice in the room. One that was clearly not Click. They spotted a familiar looking blue Addison sitting in an armchair, comfortably wrapped up in a blanket. He looked… sad. They couldn't tell why, but he seemed to be in a really depressed mood. They babbled and reached a hand out towards him.

"A. SEEMS SOME 1 IS [Exciting news!] TO SEE U 2. WANNA SAY HI TO SURVEY?"

They did. He seemed like he needed a hug. They wanted to give him one. They kept making grabby hands as they were brought over to the blue man, placed carefully in his lap.

"Hello Sky. Nice to meet you, properly. Last time was… not ideal."

Survey gave a half-hearted smile and gently stroked their hair. Sky ignored this completely and started climbing him to reach his shoulders. He sputtered confusedly and watched as he was used as a climbing tower. 

That was until Sky reached their destination and clung onto him. He was the one who brought them back to Spamton before, they remember now. He brought them back home and was really nice. He didn't deserve to be sad.

"I THINK [an unaccompanied minor] LIKES YOU! WHAT A SWEETIE."

Survey just sat there shocked, seemingly unable to figure out what he should do right then. Tired brain does that to you.

Then, Sky thought really hard about their soul. They thought about nice things and things that made them comfortable. The things they always thought of to help people.

Survey's expression seemed to change as he looked at the kid. It went from that pained smile to a grimace. Then that grimace grew as his eyes started watering and his hands started shaking. He hugged Sky back as he started sobbing uncontrollably.

"S-S-[SURVEY SAYS…!]?!"

Spamton ran over and put a hand to his shoulder. Flash looked really concerned as she was about to go and get Click. Then Spamton stopped her with a half smile and looked back at the ad and human. 

"IT'S [ice ice baby]. SKY IS GIVING HIM [therapy appointment] THAT HE [wouldn't want to miss out on!]."

He motioned towards Sky, who was glowing brightly and patting Survey on the head a little harder than necessary. But he didn't seem to mind. He sunk his face into their body as he shivered and sniffled sadly.

"SKY IS [specil]. THEY HAVE [AMAZING DEALS!!!] THAT HELPS [valued customers]... OPEN UP? I TH1NK???"

Flash furrowed her brows in uncertainty, glancing between Spamton and Survey, who's face had completely disappeared in the little kid hanging onto his head.

"... Well if you say so" she just accepted the answer and sat beside Survey, comforting him until he felt better with Spam.

Chapter Text

It had been unnervingly quiet the last day or so. He hadn't really seen any of his friends out and about since his talk with Survey. It made Banner just the slightest bit nervous. He had gone to their workplaces on his way to work, but found them all closed. 

Survey he understood. He had been looking absolutely awful, so he should take a break.

Click was also understandable. They hadn't exactly been looking in top shape when they saw each other. So maybe they were getting sick.

Flash, on the other hand, was a shocker. She was a huge workaholic and the stubborn type of person who would rather drag her bleeding body to work than call in sick. It was rare to find her shop closed during usual open hours.

Banner had actually intended on meeting up with her so he could give back the god awful movie she had lent him. But since she wasn't at work, there were only three other places she could be.

At home, in the hospital or on her deathbed.

He decided to check her home first.

Arriving at her doorstep, he gave the door a few rhythmic knocks before waiting for a reply. 

He didn't receive one.

He raised a brow curiously and tried again, this time, with more force.

Still nothing.

He scratched his head and gave a frown. Wondering where the hell she could be. Maybe she really was in the hospital! 

He pulled out his phone and brought out her contacts, pressing the call button.

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

The annoyed ad looked at his watch while tapping his foot impatiently.

Beep…

Beep… 

Be-

"H-hello?! Banner? Sorry! I couldn't find my phone!"

"You should probably keep better track of it then."

"Don't you sass me, buddy!"

"Whatever. Where are you? I came by to leave off your appalling stain on cinema history. But you weren't home. You weren't at work either."

"Oh! Umm… well I'm- wait! Are you talking about the copy of 'Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman' I lent you? The greatest movie of all time?"

"Greatest mo- it's absolute trash! I've never seen such a vulgar, grotesque, unenjoyable movie before in my life!"

"I KNOW! It's so bad, right?! It's hilarious! Did you see the part where he became a bunch of ice cubes and that bikini model took one to-"

"YES! I SAW IT! And it was VILE! Why would you recommend such a disgustingly gory movie?!"

"Because it's the best movie I own!"

"I think I'll just throw it in the trash then, unless you come over here to get it. And while you're coming, you could join me at the Cyber Grill!"

"Don't you dare! And… I'm sorry but I can't come with you. I'm kinda tied up at the moment. But maybe some other time, ok?"

"Oh. Ok. Guess I'll just leave this in your mailbox the- wait a minute. Did you say it was the best movie you owned? I GIFTED YOU 'THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS' 3 CHRISTMASES AGO!!!"

"O-oops! Sorry! Can't hear ya! Going through a tunnel! Bye!"

"DON'T YOU DARE HA-" before he could finish, she had already hung up on him. He looked down at the phone angrily before letting out a sigh, walking over to Flash's mailbox and shoving the movie in it.

Banner started heading down the street, looking down at his phone with a slight bit of concern. 

What's going on with everyone? Why has things seemed so tense lately? Why is everyone acting so weird?

Something about all this didn't sit right with him. It made an uneasy feeling grow in his stomach, threatening to swell up and become downright discomfort.

He quickly shook all those thoughts out and tried to smile, thinking to himself that everything was fine and he was just exaggerating. The orange Addison let out a big breath and called Click, hoping they might be free.

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

Bee-

"Banner? Hello."

"Hey! Click! How's everything going?"

"O-O-Oh! It's… fine. Better, at least! It's… it's an… up day."

"That's great to hear! If that's the case then would you like to come along with me to the Cyber Grill? You can even treat me if you'd like! I know how bad you feel when I'm always splurging on you, so-"

"A-actually… I think I'm not going to be able to today. I kinda already have a lot on my plate. Really sorry."

"R-really? Are you sure? Not even a quick 10 minutes?"

"No. I'm very sorry Banner. But I swear I'll make it up to you as soon as I can!"

"... … … No. It's all good! Don't worry about it! We can wait with it until you're not busy! Don't you even worry your pink head about it!"

"Alright. Well I've gotta go now. Talk later."

"Of course! Bye!"

Banner hung up and inhaled sharply, trying to keep himself composed. He didn't like this feeling he was getting from the entire situation. It felt… bad. But he hated to worry. Or feel down. So he just breathed, collected himself and looked down at Surv's contact.

Survey. He… seemed extremely paranoid last time. He looked like he hadn't slept and freaked out so suddenly. And the thing he said about buying a safe, although reasonable, just rubbed him the wrong way.

… Yeah. I should call him. If only to make sure he's fine.

He pressed the call button.

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

B-

"Hi Banner."

God. He sounded so exhausted.

"Hey! Surv! I wanted to check in on you. Is everything alright? You had me worried when you yelled and fell a few days ago."

"I'm feeling better now. I've gotten plenty of rest and I'm doing well. Not great, but well."

"Good to hear. So… are you feeling well enough to head out to the Cyber Grill? If not then I totally understand. But I'd still like to hang out a little. I talked with the others, but that was a no go."

"... … … … …"

"S-S-Survey?"

"... I think it's best if we talk."

Oh no. Oh no oh NO! Not a 'talk'. They were the worst! A 'talk' means something serious has happened and it's about to get real. He hates drama. He hates the feeling of dread a serious talk brings.

"Wh-what d-do you mean? Did someth-thing happen?"

"Well… kind of. It's hard to explain. But I think it's best if I pick you up. We need to discuss it with everyone else."

"O-O-Oh! Don't bother! They're both busy right now! We'll have to wait!"

"... … … Banner. They'll have the time. Trust me. Could you drive by my place? I'll explain more in the car."

"... … … …" Banner was sweating bullets, feeling that uneasiness becoming a clump in his throat, making it hard to talk or swallow. He just felt so confused and worried over all the vagueness and secrecy.

"... … … Fine. But you better stop being so cryptic about all this and actually tell me what's going on!"

"I promise, you'll find out what's happening. Today. I swear."

"Ok… then see you in a bit."

He hung up. 

Banner just stared at his phone, biting his lower lip and trying to not lose his mind. Why was everyone being so weird?! And why did they all seem to know something he didn't?!

… He'd get his answers soon.

*~*~*

Spamton sat on the couch, his heart pounding so hard in his chest. 

This was probably going to be the hardest reunion so far. He knew it. He just knew it.

Sky was sitting on his lap, holding onto his index fingers and tapping them together. They found it quite enjoyable. Click wasn't in their living room, but rather in their bedroom, trying to mentally prepare themselves for what was to come. But Flash was sitting right beside him, watching the kid play while also patting Spamton on the back.

"It's going to be fine. I know that sounds like complete bullchips, but… I can't imagine this ending any other way than… our group being whole again. It has to! Because if he won't accept you, then I swear I'll-"

"[Please come again], DON'T [smash or pass] H1M."

"Sorry. I just… I just want to have you around again."

"TRUST ME, FLASH. . AFTER WHAT [Your ol' pal Spamton] JUST [Discover your own potential!], I'M NOT [getting rid of me] SOO SOON,"

Flash chuckled and ruffled his hair, smiling thankfully as Click walked inside the room.

"Guys… they're soon here."

Spamton felt himself suddenly burst into a silent panic at the realization of the moment.

Their friend, who avoids drama like the plague, was about to meet with his long lost friend who, in his eyes, probably just up and disappeared for no reason after getting famous. Not to mention was presumed dead by everyone.

He immediately started hyperventilating and gripping his head, causing sky to babble worriedly and reach out to pat his head. 

Both Click and Flash were quick to try and calm him down. 

"H-hey. Hey S-Spammy. It's ok. We're h-here for you…"

"Spams, don't you worry 'bout a thing! If he tries anything, even raising his voice, I'll be throwing hands!"

"Flash! No! You can't do that to him! Banner is just as affected by this as we were. He should be given as much consideration as we're giving Spamton."

"F that! If he doesn't accept my bro, I don't want him!"

"FLASH! You don't mean that! You're just worked up! Please calm down before you worry Spamton or the baby!"

"Since when did you grow a backbone?!"

Spamton shoved both of them off of him and stared down at Sky with static filled glasses, making the ads stop the argument. Like a spell had been broken, they seemed to come to their senses right away.

"Sorry. You're right. I'm just worried."

"I know. It's ok to be. I'm worried too."

"Hey… Spamton? How are you holding up?"

He didn't answer, just stared at the baby quietly with a pleading expression. They stared right back blankly, seeming to kinda think over what it was he was pleading for. Then they blew a raspberry at both the other Addisons before tugging at their arms.

"A-a-alright! Geez, kid!"

"What's the matter, Sky?"

They waited until they were both practically leaning on Spamton before a soft Yellow glow emitted from their chest. 

The tension in the room disappeared altogether as they all let out a collective sigh of relief. 

"THAT'S [priceless], SKY. THANK [listeners like you!]."

Spam gave both of his friends a half hug with each arm before releasing them and rubbing Sky's head.

"[Spend your savings on-] FOR B4NNER, 0K?2"

They blew another raspberry before letting the light quickly dissipate.

"You weren't lying, Spams. Kid got some incredible magic. What do you even classify it as?"

He just responded to her with a shrug. But then they all tensed as they heard the sound of a car growing louder. They looked at each other before Click sighed and stood back up. They left without saying anything and went to stand by the entrance hallway.

The puppet looked up at his friend with concern flashing behind his glasses. She gave him an understanding nod and pulled him in for another hug. 

Hey, they had been separated for years! It was fair!

*~*~*

Banner looked over towards the house, seeing it come into view as he drove closer. Survey sat in the passenger seat, looking as calm and collected as ever. But there was still something not right, the atmosphere around him was just heavy.

It made him nervous, hoping and praying that nothing bad had happened that he now had to deal with.

"Soooo… we're just not going to catch me up to speed at all?"

"Trust me. The catching up will happen inside."

Banner gulped and gripped the steering wheel, trying as hard as he could to not freak out from the rising tension. He parked in front of the house, turning off the car and unbuckling his seatbelt. But Survey didn't move to get out yet, just turned to look at him.

"I gotta warn you, Ban. This is going to be emotional. Whether good or bad depends on you, but you'd still better prepare for… a lot of stuff."

God damnit Survey! How did you think that was going to help at all?!?

The orange ad just nodded and got out of the car, stepping up to Click's house, Survey right behind him.

The door opened without anyone knocking. Click peeked out and looked up at the nervous man in front of their home.

"Hey Banner… I'm sorry about earlier. I-"

"Just get it over with! I'm tired of being kept in the dark like this."

They quickly shut their mouth and nodded, letting the two of them inside. Banner pushed past them and stomped inside, starting to feel increasingly angry about the whole thing. About being kept away from whatever they all knew.

Survey and Click hurried after him, watching as he rounded the corner and stepped into the living room.

Then, he completely froze in his tracks. He stopped right in the doorway and stared at the three figures on the couch.

One was Flash. Another was a baby lightner. But, amazingly, that wasn't the most shocking one out of them.

Right there, holding the baby, was a face he didn't recognize. He knew who it was. Or, at least, who it was supposed to be. But it wasn't. It couldn't be. Spamton G. Spamton was dead. He became too good for the rest of them, then left, never to return.

Whoever this phoney was wasn't even trying to look like their late-friend.

"... … … Who… who is this?" He couldn't find any other words to say. It was the only question he had.

"... … … HELL0 [Check out that banner!]. IT'S [being] [a lifetime warranty!]."

… Ok. Yep. I'm right. That's not Spamton.

"Banner. Listen. We've… it's been… it's been a lot to deal with and most of us just recently found out about…" Flash started speaking, but just stumbled over her words.

"Flash. I think it's better if we… just let him explain" Survey cut in, one hand rubbing Click's shoulder reassuringly.

"Yeah. I want to hear what that guy has to say" Banner sneered at the white Addison, eyeing him disdainfully. Flash seemed to turn pissed and was about to get up from the couch, but was stopped by the one beside her.

"BANNER, I'M [apologies for the inconvenience], BUT IT'S [your number one rated salesman 1997!]."

What the hell was this clown about? What was up with his vocal tics and the glitches?

"BANNER! IT'S M3! SPAMTON!"

"Ha! Good one! You're not Spamton! Spamton has white hair! He doesn't wear glasses! He can speak like a normal person! Spamton wasn't some freak!"

" BANNER!!! " Click gasped in shock, covering their mouth as they stared at the irate man. Flash got right back to standing up, rolling up her sleeves as she got ready to beat his face in. 

Spamton just sat there in silence, staring at Banner as he crossed his arms.

"I… I… IT'S… REALLY ME. I'M… SPAMTON."

"You're so full of it! Spamton was… he… he died. My friend died and you're trying to pass yourself off as him?! That's just-"

"SHUT UP! That is Spamton! He's back with us! And he went through some harsh stuff in his life! HE-" Flash tried to interject, but was quickly interrupted right back.

"HE WENT THROUGH-?! He lived a life of luxury! He decided he was too successful for us! He decided his sales were more important than we were! HE left US!"

"BANNER! BANNER PL3ASE !! LET ME EXPLAIN!"

"SAVE IT! All of you are absolutely awful! You decided to just forget all the things he said to us and just accept him back with wide open arms! Well I won't! I'm not just going to forget the awful things he said! I'M LEAVING!!!"

Banner turned around on his heels and stomped over to the door, chin held high. Not even a second later did Spamton shoot up from the couch and run after him out of the house.

"WAIT BANNER!!! PLEASE WAIT!!! I'M SORRY PLZ LET ME EXPLAIN!!!"

Banner didn't slow down, he continued down the walkway and even quickened his steps. Spamton soon caught up and gripped him by the sleeve, causing the orange man to jerk his arm away and glare. Spam took a deep breath before speaking.

"Banner please listen to me! You don't understand what hell I went through! You don't know how much I missed you! You-" 

"STOP SAYING THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I understand more than you think! Did you really think I didn't notice you always on the phone, talking to some 'Mike'?! YEAH! I KNOW THEIR NAME! They were the one who made you successful, weren't they?!"

Spamton reeled back and took a few steps away from him, shrinking together as he heard that name. The name of the person who ruined his entire life.

"I'm not some god damn idiot! I'm a lot smarter than you! Just because I don't wear glasses and spew calculus on the daily like Survey doesn't mean I'm some foppish, airheaded diva! I figured it out! And it was shady from the start! 

But did you listen to me?! NOOOOO! You just thought I was being jealous! Just because your cars sold and mine didn't doesn't mean anything! It was a scam, a SCAM! 

But you refused to listen to me because I'm 'the fashion guy'! Right?!? Isn't that all I am, Spamton?!"

…

Spamton stood in complete silence, staring at the seething Addison in front of him. He could hear the others shuffling nervously behind him, probably also having seen that blow-up. He didn't know what to do, what to say. Because… he was right.

Banner seemed to just continue gritting his teeth, glaring at him as he tried to find the right words to say. But nothing came to him. 

"You… you looked down on me! The guy who taught you everything there is to know about cars! Just because I'm also a fashion designer… you… you… you never… believed in me."

Banner was so mad. He was furious. He wanted to just run away and try to suppress all those gross feelings. He hated feeling like this! He hated feeling bad! It was so disgusting and suffocating. The clump in his throat just kept growing and growing, almost making his airways close off.

But… he couldn't run away. Not now. Spamton was alive. His buddy. His confidant. The only one he could talk to who wouldn't make everything into a therapy session. He… he only then realized something he hadn't once considered before.

I… I missed you.

"I was… trying to- I wanted to warn you… I wanted to keep you safe… but I couldn't. Because I'm not tough enough or smart enough or sympathetic enough! If anyone else had confronted you with it… you might have stayed. But it had to be me. The… egotistical show-off. Your friend by association. Your aquaintance. The one who didn't care enough to try and contact you. The one who was nothing but selfish and petty."

Spamton looked at him like he had seen a ghost. Tears were streaming down his orange face, he was looking away from him and still trying to stay composed.

"Ban. I… I never looked down on you. I was defensive about you finding any sort of flaw in my business. You were right, Mike was not a trustworthy business partner. But… he was… a lot more than just that."

He glanced back at Spam, face held high as he struggled to stay calm.

"He… he told me things about you guys… about how you were just jealous of me… about how you didn't care about me. He also said a lot of other things… things that made me believe he knew better than me. I… I'm so sorry for believing a stranger over you. I…"

"... Spam. What I said earlier was true. The Spamton I knew was gone. He disappeared as soon as he started belittling me. Because the Spam I know wouldn't say that. He's cocky, not crule. To me, Spamton G. Spamton was dead before everyone else lost him. 

… What I'm trying to say is… that none of that was you. It didn't sound like you. It didn't feel like you. I was… I don't know… I don't even know what I'm saying anymore! I don't understand anything!!! I-I-It's-"

Suddenly, Banner collapsed on the ground. He just sat on his knees and started uncontrollably sobbing into his hands. Spamton watched in horror, until he noticed Sky standing right behind him, glowing yellow soul floating in front of them next to the crying man.

He quickly ran over and embraced Banner, hugging him tightly. That hug soon turned into a hug pile as Click practically threw themselves at the two, sniffling sadly too.

Flash also joined in, pulling Banner in close with a restrained, almost sobbing "C'mere you!"

Survey walked over too, kneeling down and gently laying his arms around the entire group.

Sky watched them curiously, standing right beside them as they thought to themselves.

Papa… friends. His friends so sad. Sad because of bad static man! Bad static man needs punished! Protect papa and friends! With… weapon! Weapon Jabbu said. Find! Protect papa!

They started wobbling over to the group hug, crawling in between everyone so they could join in too.

Papa deserves happy. Papa and friends. Love papa and friends.

Chapter Text

Banner was still awake. It was pretty late at night. About… he quickly checked his phone. Around 3 AM. Yeah that seems about right. He had at least managed to get a few hours of sleep. He was pretty tired after the emotional conversation he'd had earlier that day.

Speaking of, he looked up at the rest of the ads in the room, all sound asleep.

After a long while of talking about life and everything that's happened between them all and their feelings, Click found it fitting to ask everyone to stay over the night. Better yet, Flash suggested everyone camp out in the living room. It would be just like one of their old sleepovers, the ones without excessive drinking and loud singing/yelling.

He hated to admit it, but Banner positively loved the idea. He still had some hard feelings with Spamton, making him a little uncomfortable. But at the same time, he was scared of losing him again to that… that Mike!

Ignoring that train of thought, he instead glanced over to the couch from the reclining armchair, which he got the luxury of sleeping in. On it were the other three. Click was leaning against Survey, snuggled into his side as his arm hung over their shoulders. His head was laid back against the back of the couch with the most peaceful face Banner has probably ever seen. Flash was sprawled out across their laps with her limbs pointing and bending in every which direction. That's just how she always sleeps, like she splattered on the ground after a fall. Not sure why she didn't just sleep on a mattress, since Click had offered it, but the orange Addison decided not to question it.

Then, on the floor, sleeping on another one of said mattresses was Spamton and Sky. Sky had cuddled their face right up to Spam's after he had fallen asleep. He held them loosely, arms just resting over their back as he snored quietly (Unlike Flash). 

Banner stared at him for quite a while, unable to rid himself of the thought he had previously tried to dismiss. 

Mike… Mike… M I K E . . . I knew that man was nothing but trouble. I… I could never have imagined… that. Seriously. To think Spamton was in such an abusive work relationship… and all I did was make it worse. I proved all those doubts he implanted in his head right! 

No! Stop that! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Feel sorry for him! But… Mike couldn't have told Spam all those things he said to me. He said them all on his own! He decided to insult me!

…

And I decided that was enough to cut him out of my life.

…

…

…

Guess we both did some pretty terrible things, huh?

DAMN IT! I can't believe Spamton never even thought of the word 'Abuse' when thinking about the way Mike treated him. He was straight up mentally and emotionally abusing him! And… judging by some of what he tried to say… I might have to throw in physically as well.

Banner just sat and stared at the sleeping white darkner, not realizing he had started fuming until he could physically feel himself heat up in rage. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down, looking back towards the baby instead.

Ah… right. The… 'Tasque'. I almost forgot about them. I don't know what the hell they did to me to get me so emotional, but I hope they don't try it again. Crying feels so icky! Though… I really felt way better after. Pros and cons I guess.

But… how… How should I feel about them? Right now I feel… nothing. Just a dirty kid. But if Spamton and everyone else likes them… I guess they're alright.

Banner smirked as he thought that, reasoning to himself that they can't be that bad. He disliked kids generally, but he'd never had to form a personal connection with any child. So… maybe this would be the one to change his mind? 

… Or maybe just an exception. Yeah. Let's go with that. Kids still suck. But this one's fine.

With that conclusion, he let out a tired yawn and leaned back in the armchair, pulling his blanket up over him as he started to drift off again.

*~*~*

Click was first to wake up. They slowly cracked open an eye and were met with blue skin taking up most of their vision. They then directed their eye upwards and spotted Survey's face, resting against the top of their head.

They smiled brightly, thinking about the scene they were in. In their own home, together with all their friends. All of them. Finally together again. After years of separation and grieving. Well that thought sure made them tear up and bury their face in the other's pajama shirt. They sobbed happily before pulling themselves together and looking down at Flash, who was laying face down across both of their laps with her face mushing into the couch cushion.

They chuckled at that, always finding her way of sleeping kinda funny. But then they felt something pulling on the blanket, hearing a soft "Kick?"

They yawned with a tired smile, sitting up and looking down at the small lightner. 

"Good morning skyyyyyyyyyy…" their voice trailed off as they were met with a lot more than just the baby they were expecting. On the floor, scattered all over, were these… blue… orb… things. They were practically everywhere! They were oval shaped, looking a little like eggs. But the smooth and soft texture made them look like they were made of gummy or something. They had never seen anything like it!

"... … … GUUUUUYS! WHAT THE HELL?" Click said in a raised voice, getting the others in the room to wake up.

"Nnng! Cliiiiick. What do you wa-HOLY MOTHER OF THE INTERNET!!!" Flash yelled as she was staring down at a sea of blue.

"Wh-whu… wha… what the hell is all this???" Banner asked in fear as he pulled his legs up onto the chair. Survey simply stayed quiet as he reached down and picked one up, inspecting it curiously.

"DON'T TOUCH IT!!!" Banner shouted at him, grossed out by the sight alone.

Spamton sat up with a yawn, stretching his arms before spotting the strange scene. He looked shocked as well.

"RLLY??? I THOUGHT THAT [over and out!] W1TH!"

They all directed their attention to Spamton, looking at him like he just admitted to stealing the declaration of independence.

"Wha- you know what these things are?!" Click asked concerned, picking one up as well.

"I-IT'S [pepis]!"

They all just stared in confusion, seemingly trying to decipher that glitch. Until Flash snorted softly and muttered "It's… it's what now?"

"[pepis]!"

" PFFFFFT! And what in the goddamn hell is a pepis?"

"[pepis] IS [pepis]."

Their shock turned to annoyance as they couldn't get a proper answer from him. He gave an apologetic shrug and grinned awkwardly.

"And… where did they come from ???" Banner said while trying to find a way out of the chair without touching one.

"UM… U WON'T [Like, comment and subscribe!"

"Just tell us!" Flash insisted.

"... … …" Spamton looked really embarrassed, like he didn't want to admit how they got there. But then he let out a soft groan, gripping his stomach as he gagged quietly. He turned away from them all and hurled, turning back to them with a brand new pepis in his hands.

…

…

…

They all just sat there in silent horror, unable to stop staring at him as his face turned increasingly red.

"... … … OH GOD! EW! DISGUSTING!!!" Banner yelled and clung to the back of the armchair, looking like he might also puke.

"That's… that's messed up dude…" Flash muttered before picking one of them up curiously.

"Anyways, what even are these? They're like… bowling balls? It's rock solid… or more wooden" she then commented as she knocked on the pepis with a sound 'BON-BON-BONK'.

"This one isn't. This feels like a water balloon" Survey added on as he weighed it between his hands. Flash looked over curiously. 

"Oh? Can I cop a feel?"

"Not if you say it like that, you can't."

"GROSSGROSSGROSSGROSS! Guys seriously! Stop touching them! They literally came out of Spamton!!!" Banner groaned, annoyed as he looked over at Sky in concern as they were playing with some of them.

Flash smirked devilishly as she leaned over to him.

"What's the matter, Ban? Scared of a little bit of pepis?" She teased and held it out towards him, like a bully holding a bug in someone's face. He reeled back in disgust and almost fell off the armchair with how far back he leaned.

"Um… guys? My pepis cracked" Click muttered nervously, earning the attention of everyone. They looked at the blue orb, a clear crack having formed on the top of it.

"What did you do???" Flash asked.

"N-n-nothing! I just turned it over and it looked like this!" They responded as they held it carefully.

Survey leaned down towards it as everyone else kept arguing what had happened to it. He inspected it closely to see if he could find something wrong. Then the crack grew slightly with a small sound.

"Did… did it just crack more?"

Spamton shot up from bed and ran over so he could take a look at it. Everyone else joined in, curious to see what was happening. They all watched with great nervousness, not sure what exactly they should expect after this thing broke.

A bit of the blue exterior crumbled away, revealing a pointy white object peeking out. Then a head broke through the rest of it. Out popped a tiny Spamton, small little glasses and all. It looked around at the people surrounding it curiously.

"... … … … …"

Everyone just looked at the little thing with blank expressions of shock before slowly turning to look at the increasingly exasperated puppet.

"I-I-I… I-IT'S JU UST MY [assault weapon]!!!"

" THIS IS YOUR ATTACK???" Flash asked in disbelief, motioning her hands towards the hatchling in front of them.

Spamton grew even more embarrassed as he started stuttering while making big and loud gestures.

"[It's a steal!]- [Just for 4 easy payments of   ]- [It's not your average deal!]- I ALSO GOT DOLLAR SIGNS!!!  ! !" He tried to desperately save face from what a huge weirdo he was.

They all then looked unamused before raising their fingers, summoning attacks of their own in the form of currency symbols. That's just a standard trait of an Addison.

"... [Ya made yer point!]..."

Click looked down at the little Spam in their lap, just sitting there and staring quietly. 

"Um… hello there, little guy. Welcome to the world" they spoke softly, reaching out a finger to pluck off the shell pieces so it was free from its egg. 

It watched their finger with great interest, quickly reaching out and gripping onto it, surprising poor Click.

"Ew. It's touching you" Banner groaned and stuck his tongue out in disgust.

"... Why hello hello to you too!" Click chuckled and gently wiggled their finger in a sort of handshake. That seemed to please the tiny Spam, as it vigorously shook back at them. Then it forcefully climbed into the pink hand, sitting down onto the palm. Click lifted it up to their face and smiled brightly at it. 

"Aaaaw~! Well aren't you adorable!"

"Wi'l Spamdon!!!" Sky cheered and clapped, watching as another pepis cracked and another small Spam crawled out. Flash looked over in horror as a couple more hatched and started crowding around Sky. Spamton also looked pretty worried, not entirely sure what to do about it.

"Sooooo… how long will these things be around, Spams?"

"IT [wide variety of wares!]. THEY [same as usual] [despawn] AFTER A FEW HOURS OR AFTER ATTTACKING. SO O O O…"Instead of finishing the sentence, he just resorted to giving a shrug of uncertainty.

"Awe, really? Can't we keep them around a little longer?" The pink Addison bemoaned while watching the mini Spam dangle off their nose before falling back into their palm.

"This is INSANITY!!! How can you find these… small clones cute??? They're like insects! No offense to you Spamton, they're just so small and came from your mouth" Banner looked over at Spamton apologetically as he realized how that came across. Spam just gave him a quick nod and looked over at a very offended Click.

"How… RUDE! You're gonna look at this little guy and call him creepy?! Look at him! You hurt his feelings!" They said as they continued to fawn over the little attack, who was glaring at Banner from where it sat. It then stuck its tongue out at him and clung onto Click's finger.

"There there, little Spammy! Don't mind that big mean Banner. He just hates anything small. Now, how about you and me make breakfast before you have to poof, alright?" They then stood up from the couch and carefully tip-toed around the still unhatched pepis. Little Spam peeped in agreement as it was carried out from the living room.

Everyone sat in silence for a moment, no one quite sure what to say. Until Survey broke the silence.

"... So are some of these unfertilised or…?"

" Ok! You know what?! This is too much for me right now! Yesterday I wasn't expecting ONE Spamton, much less A THOUSAND LITTLE ONES! I can't take this. I need some time to… deal. Come get me when they're gone!" Ban announced as he stood from the couch and shuffled through the blue eggs until he reached the door. He huffed in annoyance before stomping up the stairs towards the guest room.

"... … …"

Again, awkward silence.

"... … … So yes or no? Unfertilised pepis?"

*~*~*

Banner pushed the door open before he shut it behind him, wandering over to the bed and falling face first onto it.

This… this is too much. This is way too much. How can all of them be so calm? Why is everyone else so cool and collected while I'm a mess? I'm supposed to be the confident one… I think. Unless that's Flash. I'm not sure anymore.

Ugh! God damnit! He just had to come back and mess up my whole reality! Typical Spamton, always has to be in the spotlight! God! GHA! Why is everyone so chill about this while I'm breaking down here?! Why can't I just accept this?! Spamton is back and that's just a fact!

He rolled over to his back with a heavy sigh. But he suddenly heard a high-pitched squeak as he felt himself roll onto some sort of lump on the bed. He yelped in surprise and instantly shot back up onto his feet. Whipping around, he looked down at the bed and saw another one of those attack things. He was about to flip his lid, until he noticed something different about it.

As it turned its head towards him, he saw that it looked like old Spamton, before he became big. White hair, no mismatched glasses, no blood red cheeks or puppet features.

It gave him a huge pause as he stood frozen stiff and just stared at it. It… it looked just like the Spam he used to know. Before he started talking to… that disgusting abuser. No, he would not stop using that word until everyone accepted that it was true!

Little Spam stood up on the bed and wobbled over towards Banner. He groaned and took a step back away from it.

"U-um… H-Hey… little guy. You sh-should go back to the others! Go on, shoo!" He attempted to wave it off, motioning towards the door.

Little Spam pouted at him and did the same thing back, making unintelligible squeaking noises.

"... I have no idea what you just said, but I do NOT like your tone!"

It peeped and crossed its arms, stubbornly plopping itself back down onto the bed in a show off refusal to leave. Banner groaned loudly and covered his face, feeling like he might just go insane.

" Ghhhhhhhhhh ! Alright! Fine! Do what you want! Just don't bother me and we're fine!" 

He too sat down on the bed, nose up in the air and legs crossed in an equal show off stubbornness. He also huffed and turned his head away indignantly with a pout on his face.

The tiny Addison looked over at Ban and pouted too, arms uncrossing so it could get up and walk around. It ran across the bed towards the nightstand, hopping onto it and looking around the room. 

It then turned towards the bookshelf and put its hands to its face as it stared in awe at the beautiful, shiny convertible car toy on the topmost shelf. It excitedly rubbed its hands and prepared for a big leap. With a running start, it launched itself into the air. But it didn't get quite the height it had hoped for, as it clung onto one of the middle shelves and started squeaking in panic.

"UGH! Do you have a mute button or something?! I s-" as the orange Addison turned to berate the annoying attack, he stopped when he saw it hanging on for dear life while dangling a few meters up off the ground.

"Jesus Christ! You're as accident prone as the real thing!" He grumbled and got up to walk over and pick it up in his hand. It looked up at him and gave a wide grin, peeps sounding a lot friendlier than before. It then pointed up at the car toy persistently.

"... Of course you wanted to reach the car. Sigh Fine! I'll get it down for you" he conceded and reached up and brought it down onto the floor. He let the attack jump off his hand beside the car. Coincidentally, it was the perfect size to sit in the front seat.

Banner watched curiously, feeling this odd emotion stir up in his chest. Watching the mini Spam look at and play around with a car so enthusiastically, it reminded him of the real Spamton back in the day. 

He'd always get so excited to tinker with the cars Banner brought into the shop. They weren't genius mechanics or anything, but they knew the basics! The fun part was pimping out the ride and making it something to gawk at. 

But… optimization and all the technical jargon was fun too, making a car the best it could be. It was always so great to see Spamton excitedly show his new modding idea or how he changed oil all on his own. 

Those were better days.

Banner sighed and sank onto the floor, laying on his stomach and his head resting somberly on his folded arms.

Mini Spam looked up at him concerned and got out of the car again, walking over to him with a questioning squeak.

"... … … Sorry. I just… I still don't feel like you're back. This new Spamton… he's just not the same. He's not the Spamton I knew and had fun with. He… he died. He died and is never coming back…" tears started gathering in his eyes as he gazed at the little white ad mournfully. He reached out and rubbed its head with his finger. It looked sad, watching him act so gloomy all of a sudden.

"And… I never even got to say goodbye. God, I was such a douche to him before he disappeared! He didn't deserve it! He was hurting! And because of me… he's gone forever. I'll never get to see… you again."

A frown formed on its lips, taking a hold of the big orange finger and hugging it softly. Banner sighed and picked it up, bringing it in closer to his face so he could feel like he finally had his friend back again.

It didn't work.

"I just wish… I could have said that I cared about him before he left. Now the Spamton that's back… he only knows me as the heartless darkner who treated him like dirt and never tried to contact him. 

… No! Shut up, Banner! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Stop being a self-centered prick! Stop-!"

He was interrupted by Mini Spam, who put both hands to his mouth to silence him. It looked mad. Probably well deserved.

It then reached up and tried to rub the tears from the corners of his eyes, covering its hands with salty water.

Banner just stared in guilt ridden silence, not daring to open his mouth in case he offended it any more. But it seemed to quickly start patting his cheek once it was done drying his tears. It looked… sympathetic.

"... I know you're not the same as him. And you shouldn't. He shouldn't be the same as he used to. He's changed and that's that. I should… just accept it and move on. But… I just… I can't… I…"

Little Spam rubbed his face and leaned against him, making small, barely audible noises as it just sat in his hand.

Banner gently set it down on his arm so he could put his hand back down and lay his head down too. It went right back to hugging his face and patting him.

"... You're going to disappear soon, right?"

It looked up at him with a confused head tilt.

"... Want me to drive you around before you go?"

It immediately lit up and flew back from his face, nodding vigorously. Ban huffed with a half smile and helped it back over to the toy car. Then he helped push it around as it pretended to drive it.

It was nice. He was having fun.

*~*~*

"But it would work, right? I mean, if I was a Mogwai, I'd just keep the food I was given in my mouth, squirreled away in my cheek or something until it was after midnight. Then I'd just swallow and, boom, gremlin." 

Survey was laying on the couch with his legs flung over the armrest, mini Spams climbing all over him as he went on with his hypothetical foolproof plan.

"Dude, you really think a gremlin would be able to resist that temptation long enough to pull that plan off? They're little savages! They'd devour anything vaguely food-esq in their path!" Flash was arguing as she was trying to keep her plate of pancakes away from the hungry little nibblers attempting to take a nibble.

"But they still have some semblance of intelligence and sentience. I mean, they were smart enough to be evil and know what would happen if you severed a clock cord."

"The clock cord wouldn't smell like delicious leftover chicken!"

"WHAT ARE YOU [2 for 1 deal!] [&@#!]ING TALKING ABOUT?!?" Spamton came back in, carrying Sky as they had gotten a change of clothes. 

"Gremlins" they both said in unison.

Spamton looked at them both in stunned bemusement, not sure how to respond to that.

". .. THEY "RE NOT [Watch Gremlins free online]!"

"We know. But they reminded us of them, so we kinda just started discussing that eating after midnight rule and how dumb it is" Flash explained and shooed another Spam away from her plate.

"Guys! Where is Banner? Did he leave?" Click walked into the living room, holding a tray of pancakes and syrup. 

"Yeah. He got overwhelmed and needed some alone time. He's in the guest room" Survey told them as an attack pulled his beanie down over his face, making him chuckle.

"Oh! Thank god. Well the little guy who was with me disappeared a little bit ago, so I think they should all be gone soon. Right?" They looked at Spamton for confirmation.

"... … … [Jury is still out]."

"Greeeaaat… I'm just going to bring this to him then. I'll leave a plate for these guys so you can all eat in peace."

Click bent down and put a plate on the floor for the hungry sea of ads to munch on. Then they took the tray and headed for the guest room.

They went to knock, but stopped themselves as they heard Banner laughing. Curiously, they waited a moment to listen.

"You're as bad of a driver as he was!"

"Peep peep peep!"

"What? I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one behind the wheel~."

"PEEP PEEP PE-PE-PEEP!"

"Ha ha ha! Just kidding! Just kidding. Man… I've really missed this. I never thought I'd get to… feel this again. And now that I know it's the… probably last time, I'm glad I could make it special."

"... Pep pe-peep?"

"Sorry, wish I knew what you were saying. But… Thank you. Thanks for letting me have one last ride."

Click stood frozen by the door, unsure if they should interrupt this or not. It sounded kind of intimate. 

They decided that maybe it was best to leave him be. He did go up there for privacy after all.

Even if he didn't get his alone time like he wanted, it sounded like he got just what he was needing. 

Chapter Text

Don't really have much to say. Enjoy this piece of lore and some other wacky drawings.

Chapter Text

"HA HA HA HA! Oh Swatch! You're too funny!"

Swatch smiled and chuckled at the compliment, despite not really finding the humor in what they had said. It was nice to be called funny.

"Thank you. But… it is starting to get annoying. Don't get me wrong, knowing that I'm presentable during work is a positive, but the constant badgering of inappropriate comments is getting to me."

"Well… maybe some people should just learn how to compliment someone the right way! Some people out there just have no tact, ey Swatch?"

"Indeed. It's starting to make me… worry sometimes. Some people have been staring at me and I always get the distinct feeling they… want to make a move on me."

"... Pal. Buddy. Amigo. If anyone, AND I MEAN ANYONE, dares to give you as much as a chest poke, you just come and tell ME! I may not look like much, but I know a thing or two about wrestling with the big boys!"

"Heh… thank you Spamton. I really appreciate it."

Spamton grinned as he traced the edge of his still empty shot glass. He had intended to ask for a drink, but decided against it for some reason. Swatch just assumed he didn't want to dirty his expensive suit.

"Anytime, sugarbeak!"

"Y-yeah… anyways. How's everything going with you? I heard sales have been kind of… slow lately."

Spamton just let out a puff and waved his hand casually. 

"It's nothing! Just a slow week! It happens! I'm just waiting for my business partner to get in contact with me so we can continue discussing our bigger scheme!"

"Bigger scheme? That's news to me. Please, tell me about it. I would love to see whatever you come up with."

"Ah-! Well… I can't really tell you the fine details. Or… anything for that matter! It's very confidential right now and I need to keep it under wraps so no one can snag this opportunity right from under our [Professional nose job!]-"

He stopped abruptly and looked at Swatch in blank surprise, seemingly caught very off guard by that change in his tone. Swatch was too, but hadn't expected him to be surprised by what he said.

"Spamton…? Are you alright? Your voice has become a little… erratic lately. You have these sudden outbursts of… weird things you'd usually say in your commercials. Are you catching a bug?"

They attempted to reach out and feel his forehead, but he quickly pulled back and stumbled out of the barstool he had been sitting on. 

"I-I-I… I'm fine! I'm [100 bucks]! Grh! D-don't worry about it! It's… it's just stress. I'm just stressed from the sales drop. But it will be fine! Once I get to- uh- once I… um…" Spamton trailed off as he looked around himself, suddenly looking very confused.

Swatch cautiously walked around the counter and moved over to him, getting down to their knee to be on level with him. They put a hand on his shoulder, gaining his attention.

"Spamton… you look disoriented. Clearly you're not doing well. How much did you sleep last night?"

He stared up into their eyes with this dazed look to him, like he wasn't mentally present. It took a few seconds for him to shake that off and blink rapidly, laughing nervously.

"S-sorry Swatch! Could you repeat that?"

"... Nevermind. I don't care how much you slept, because you're heading to bed either way! You really need it! Come on, I'll escort you there myself."

As they grabbed his hand, he quickly pulled it back and cradled it to his chest, staring at them in a panic. He looked terrified by the perceived force they were going to use. They put their hands up, feeling guilty for what they just tried.

"I'm… sorry. I'm just worried about you. You're my friend and I'd really hate to see you working yourself half to death. I care about your wellbeing."

Spamton's face lowered after that, directly facing the floor and avoiding Swatch's gaze. They looked worried, wondering what was going on with him. He's never acted like this before. It was very unsettling.

"... Friends? We're… friends?"

That gave them pause, a chill running up their body as he spoke in such a cold tone. "Y… yes! Of course we're-"

"Friends?! Friends don't do this!!!"

The butler pulled back in terror as they heard their own voice shouting at them. They watched as Spamton raised his head, jaw hanging open like the slack jaw of a limp ventriloquist dummy. Out of his mouth, the crackling sounds of a record could be heard, along with whatever recording it was playing.

"SWATCH! PL3ASE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I [need a change of pace?]!"

"No, you don't! I put that… that thing down here for a reason! It's not for you, Spamton!"

"IT'S MY 0NLY [salvation]! MYY [freedom]! MY [one-way ticket] 2 [H e a v e n]!"

"You sound insane! Are you even listening to yourself?!"

"SWATCH! CO,ME ON! WITH NEO, WE CAN B [free]. I CAN SET YOU [free]."

"Since when did I ask to be freed? Spamton, you need to stop this! That robot will never be activated! End of!!!"

"... … …

… … … Swatch please. Don't do this to me. I need to do this. I don't have a choice. Please, I'm asking you as a friend, please don't take this away from me!"

"Stop it! We are not friends! You betrayed my trust! You went behind my back and did the only thing that I could never forgive. It's not for you. NEO is dangerous. I told you this and you still pursued it. If that's how it is, then we are no longer friends! And… by the queen's orders, I must eject you from the mansion. Come quietly or I'll have to use force."

"Please… please. Please please please please please please!!! Don't do this! I need it! I have to! I… I don't want to… Swatch. I'm begging you, please help me! Please! Help me! HELP ME!!!"

"... Very well. Force it is."

Swatch listened to the whole conversation while staring at the lifeless Addison in complete dread. They knew that conversation. It was… the first time they ever caught him sneaking into the basement after his eviction. When he'd dawned that stupid disguise. 

They remember it all too well. It was a memory that dug into their heart and pierced it with its claws of guilt.

But they didn't get much of a chance to really process everything until they looked up and saw a bright light coming from the café entrance. They instinctively got up and walked over, emerging into what seemed to be a marketplace. Or maybe a convention. A bunch of stalls were set up with Many kinds of Addisons selling varying goods.

Swatch looked around in bewilderment until they spotted something familiar. A blue Addison with a recognizable haircut and hat. They sighed in relief and ran over as fast as they could. 

"Survey! Oh thank goodness! I didn't thi-" they interrupted themselves as the Addison turned around and revealed… a face that clearly wasn't Survey's.

"Hello, beloved customer! How can I help you?" She asked in a cheery voice, grin wide and service-presentable.

"Ah… my apologies. I thought… I'm looking for… a small white Addison. Think you could help me?"

The blue saleswoman tilted her head for a second before lighting up and nodding proudly.

"Of course! Of course! Please come with me!" She started leading them towards a stack of boxes behind the stand, going through them casually on the way.

"I'm surprised! You're the first one to ask about it! But I'm glad I can finally be rid of the old thing!"

Swatch looked at her, confused as she rifled through a particular box longer than the others.

"Ah. Ma'am, I think there has been a misunderst-"

They were interrupted by the Addison shoving what appeared to be a doll into their arms. Their body ran cold at the sight of it.

That was Spamton. No doubt. But… he was nothing more than a ventriloquist puppet, wooden and plastic with a wide grin and red cheeks.

"Don't worry about the price! Whatever you offer, it's a deal! I just want this useless doll gone, honestly. Been collecting dust for god knows how long. But hey! It's not all bad! Give it a squeeze and it will say one of its silly catchphrases!"

The bird looked over at her with this face of paranoia, unsure what they should expect out of any of this. Still, curiosity got the better of them and they gave the doll a light squeeze.

"HEY! YOU WANNA HEAR A REALLY FUNNY JOKE? MY CAREER! EAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The blue saleswoman started snickering and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh ho ho ho! It's true! It's true!"

Swatch stared, dumbfounded by the entire situation. But… something urged them to give Spamton another squeeze.

"SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT MY HOME, AT LEAST THIS TRASH CAN HAS GOOD AIR-CONDITIONING!"

"HA HA HA HA! God! So weird and funny!"

Panting heavily, they pushed on his stomach again.

"THE GOOD THING ABOUT ROTTEN FOOD IS THAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE ROOM FOR SECONDS. AFTER IT COMES BACK UP! HA HA!"

The room was now howling with the laughter of anyone within earshot of the talking puppet, seemingly finding these non-jokes absolutely hilarious. Swatch didn't… yet found themselves unable to stop squeezing him.

"MY ENTIRE CAREER IS A TRAVESTY! HAHAHA! HA HA HA! HA HA… Ha… h-ha…"

As the laughter of the doll tapered off, everyone around him suddenly stopped laughing. In fact, they stopped doing much of anything. They just stood in place, facing straight forward with completely blank expressions.

The butler looked around in a panic, clutching the puppet close as they stumbled back against the wall. Giving it a firm hug, it started speaking again.

"I wish I could have a warm meal again. I'm tired of having to force down molding food."

They hugged him tighter.

"I wish I never sold my house. I miss sleeping in a bed."

They snuggled him closer, hoping in vain to somehow bring this doll some sort of comfort.

"I don't want to die alone! I don't want to die! I miss my friends! I miss Swatch! SWATCH! HELP ME! Please… please come get me."

They couldn't help letting out a pained sob, cradling Spamton's head to their chest as they desperately wanted to somehow hold him even closer. They didn't even squeeze him anymore, yet he continued speaking.

"... What? What is that? Is… no! Is that a… lightner???"

Swatch froze, body petrifying from that one word. They knew exactly what was happening. They didn't want to hear it.

"It's… it is! It's a lightner! But it's just a baby. S-still! If it's a lightner, it means it has a soul! If it has a soul… I can finally reach NEO and truly become one with it! I can finally be big!!!"

Swatch began quivering, desperately wanting to stop the puppet from saying another word. They didn't want to hear it!

"N-NO!!! What am I saying?!? It's a child! A baby! I couldn't possibly kill a baby! Th-tha-that's… that's horrible! What kind of sick, twisted man would do something like that?!?"

…

"But… if I don't… I'll die. I'll starve to death. I don't want to die! Not like this! I… I can't… I…"

. . . 

"... Hey. Little scamp. D-don't worry. It won't… ngh! It won't hurt a bit! I'll… make it quick and painless. I'll be as fast as I can. It'll be just like a little nap. You'll… I'll… I'm so sorry, kid."

Swatch completely broke down after that. They clung onto the Spamton doll and started sobbing uncontrollably. Tears were rolling down their face and dripping onto the toy in their arms. 

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Spamton. Lord, I'm sorry for what you had to go through! You never deserved any of it! You were hurting and needed help! And no one would give it to you! I… I wish you were here… so I could give you everything you have earned. I'd give you all the support and care I possibly could. I'd give you anything you'd ask for!"

They were shaking, desperately hugging the puppet like it was their only lifeline. They nuzzled and rubbed their fingers against its plastic face, trying to feel some sort of comfort from it.

But they didn't.

"Please, Spamton! I miss you! Please come back!!! Please don't be dead!!! Please be alive so I can help you!!! PLEASE!!!"

*~*~*

"Master Swatch! Master Swatch, please wake up! I'm begging you, please wake up!"

Swatch suddenly felt like a key had been turned, unlocking the chains keeping them away from consciousness. They finally broke free from slumber and immediately shot up straight on the couch, hyperventilating and mumbling incoherently under their unstable breath. 

"S-spa-Spamton! Spamton p-p-p-please! Come b-back-k-k!" 

"MASTER SWATCH! YOU'RE AWAKE! THANK THE QUEEN!" The purple eyed Swatchling kneeling beside them looked so relieved as she put a hand on their shoulder and tried to get their attention.

But Swatch was too lost in their panic to pay them any mind. They just shook and struggled to form any string of words.

"Here! Swatch fell asleep on the couch and won't wake up! Violet has tried for a minute!" Another Swatchling was heard as they got into the living room with two other ones in tow. 

"They're awake now! But… they won't respond to me…" Violet said with clear concern.

"Oh thank goodness! I was so worried they…" the green eyed bird muttered in worry.

"Eggshell? Could you take a look?" Violet asked one of the two butlers that had been brought into the room.

The butler nodded in response and walked over, getting down on one knee beside her. 

"Don't worry. I'll take it from here" he assured and started trying to look Swatch over.

The shivering bird just pulled away and whimpered in despair. They wouldn't unfold into a more inspection friendly position.

"Oh m-my lord… pl-ple-pleas-s-s come baaaack…"

"... Ivory. I think this needs your area of expertise" Eggshell sighed and got back up, allowing the other Swatchling to take his place. She got down on both knees in front of the couch and leaned over to get a better look at them.

"... Swatch, Hun. What's the matter?" She asked in a smooth, gentle, caring voice that could instantly melt anyone's tension. That's why she was the mental health specialist in the household.

"I-I-I-! I-I-I-I-It's all m-my fffffault! Sp-Spamton i-is GONE! AND HE'S NEVER COMING BACK!"

"Oh, sweetheart."

The white eyed Swatchling cooed sadly as she reached out, putting a warm and loving wing on their back, rubbing in soothing circles while hushing softly.

"What happened to Spamton was never your fault. It could never be. What happened was an unfortunate situation. You did what you could with the information you knew. That's all anyone can ask for."

"I WAS A H-HO-HORRIBLE PERSON! I said we weren't f-f-friends! He d-didn't deser-rve it. HE DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THAT HELL HE LIVED THROUGH!!!"

"I know. I know. He really didn't. He deserved so much better than what life kept throwing at him. He was a victim of horrible circumstances and an unforgiving market" Ivory moved in closer, slowly, and wrapped her arms around them for a comforting hug. Swatch all but fused themselves against her chest, awful sobs escaping them as they gripped her sleepwear with trembling hands.

"But this does not make you an awful person. You did what you had to do by removing Spamton from the basement. What you said was a result of hurt feelings and fear. We all say things we deeply regret when things get tense."

"... I… I… I want to see him again. I want to apologize and tell him he was always my friend. I-I want to… g-give him all the support and help and care and love that life refused to give him! I just want to make his life good… I want to give him all the things I couldn't before…" Swatch's voice and breathing had calmed down considerably, now only a simple murmur of guilt and longing.

"And that's why you make all of us so proud. You always learn from your mistakes and try to be better than the you from yesterday. Spamton would be proud of you too, I believe. If he's still out there, he's going to be so happy when you two run into each other again.

You're a wonderful darkner and so was Spamton. What you're feeling is very valid. If you need a moment to cry out the grief, go on. We'll stay here with you until you feel better."

Ivory ran her feathery fingers through Swatch's head of fluff, preening them while hushing gently. She was soon joined by the other three in the room, who sat down and started consoling them as best they all could.

*~*~*

The Swatchlings were not happy with Swatch the next day. Despite their demands that they stay home and get some well deserved rest, the head butler still went into work. They tried their best to show they were fully capable of working. 

It was a bit of a struggle, but they managed to keep themselves together well enough. The support they got the night prior helped a lot, but intrusive thoughts were still lingering at the back of their head.

They had an urge… to go check on the machine. An urge that grew stronger the longer they stood idle behind their counter. It was tempting. Too tempting. They felt as if they had seen Spamton running down the hallway towards the basement, despite that being impossible. But they couldn't help but think they should check just in case.

Without much thought put into it, they got out from behind the counter and started dragging themselves towards the exit, making the surrounding Swatchlings raise their heads in concern.

I just gotta check. Just a look. What if he's there? What if he needs me? It's just for safety. Better safe than s-

"Master Swatch?" A Swatchling walked up to them, unintentionally blocking their way. At least… they assumed it was unintentional. 

"Jade. What do you need?" They asked with a chilly professional tone.

"... You really need to take a break. You look like you'll have a nervous breakdown any second."

Did they? They thought they were doing a good job hiding their anxiety. 

"... … … I'm fine. Thank you for your concern. But I have something I need to attend to."

Jade looked hesitant, not moving for a few seconds too long before taking a step to the side. They walked past her into the hallway, but we're quickly stopped again by a tasque headbutting their leg affectionately.

"I think not, Swatch!" TasqueManager tuted at them as she walked over, hands on her hips disapprovingly.

"... You tattled on me to TasqueManager?" They asked in disbelief.

"Sorry, boss. This is for your own good" Jade muttered nervously.

"Swatch, you look like death. Why don't I escort you home so you may rest? Tasc can come along!" TasqueManager hummed softly, yet demandingly as she pulled them along towards the exit.

"Please. I don't-"

"Nonsense! All of it! How are you supposed to keep your job orderly if you are stressing and zoning out? Quality over quantity, Swatch!"

"I… I… I can't. I don't want to… I just want to work and forget all about it. I just want to get lost in my job and let that numbing relief take effect."

That was when the lady let out a sigh and turned around to them, putting a hand on their shoulder. Tasc nuzzled up to their waist and tried to get them to pet it.

"Swatch… that's the mindset of a workaholic. That's very bad. You need to get rest and to process whatever is bothering you. Please. We all care about you and just want you to be alright. Don't try to work the pain away."

Swatch stood there for a second, taking all that information in as they pet the purring program. 

"... Yeah. You're right. I was being unreasonable. I really should consider my health."

"There we go. Would you still like me to walk you home?"

"No thanks. I'll go ahead myself. Thank you for the reality check, though. I really needed it."

She smiled and gave a pleased nod, seeing Swatch off at the door.

As they went to head home, they paused a second and turned to glance in the direction of the dumpsters. All they could think was that Spamton better still be alive. They would find him. But not today. Today… They were heading home for tea and a bath.

Chapter Text

Finally… It's mine. Freedom is all mine! This power, this raw energy… this is truly the power of NEO!

Spamton laughed as he rose from the ground and stood up straight, the floor growing further and further away as he got to his now full height.

His wings extended sharply and made a satisfying clanging sound. It felt so good! The lack of any helplessness! The feeling of electricity coursing through his code! The burst of life filling his body! 

It felt like power!

"LET;S TAKE THIS BBY FOR [a ride around town]!!! [ H E A V E N ], HERE I.COM!!!!!!"

He readied himself to soar out of that claustrophobic basement and into the endless sky. But as soon as he took flight, he immediately felt another force preventing that attempt and tugging him back down to earth. He looked around confused, trying to find the source of whatever was keeping him there. 

That's when he realized it. The strings. They were still there. They were tied in impossible knots around his every limb and segment. They were restricting him. They were keeping him away from his freedom! 

He started thrashing around, desperately trying to break the bonds and escape to his one and only goal. But they wouldn't give, no matter how much power he used. Not even NEO could free him. 

"Oh Spamton. That's not how any of this works."

He could hear Mike. Mike… the one who got him this far. The one who stayed by his side, no matter what happened. He never gave up on him. 

Not even now.

"MIKE!!! MIKE PL3ASE [wanna use a hint?] ME!!!!!! HOW CAN [this pathetic slime] FINALLEY B [A Free      On The House]?!?!?!"

"Of course. I'll always be here to show you how it's done. I'll always tell you what to do."

He felt such a wave of relief from his reassurance. Mike would be there to lead the way. As long as he didn't go against his instructions, Mike would help.

"So… first things first. Now that you have NEO, finally fusing yourself with it is going to be a piece of cake. I'm surprised you thought you'd just get your freedom for free. Nothing in this world is free."

Yeah… he knew that from experience.

"You have to make sacrifices if you want to achieve your dreams. So… it's time to pay the price of this transaction."

The light further down the corridor faded in, revealing a confused looking teenager, wearing a cowboy hat and holding a gun at the ready.

They looked over at Spamton as soon as they were illuminated, raising the gun towards him out of instinct before slowly lowering it.

"... Papa?"

All he could do was stare down at Sky. They were so tiny, despite having grown so big. Guess they had both done some growing. 

"There is the lightener. With their soul, you'll be free. You will be able to reach heaven, just like you always dreamed."

The kid gasped as they saw their soul suddenly appear in front of them, an expression of fear and anger taking over their face.

"HEY! Stop talking to my papa, you butthole! Leave him alone!"

Spamton stood there with his nose pointing at the floor, expression blank and empty. He was thinking of the instructions, considering them carefully.

Then he raised his head with a demented grin splitting his face in half. He held up his hand and revealed the claw-like nails that had grown from his fingertips.

"P-p… papa?"

"... … … SO RRY [Think of the children!!!]. BUT THIS 1S [strictly business]!! ! "

As he said that, he reached out towards Sky, who was backing away from him in terror. They shook and looked like they were ready to cry. Spamton just started laughing as he steadily got closer.

Then their soul was just within reach. His freedom was right in his grasp. He just…

Needed to…

… GRAB IT!

*~*~*

The puppet jolted awake with a start, gasping for air while moving his flailing hands to grip at his chest. His heart was pounding faster than it ever had before. He was drenched in sweat and felt like he had just run a marathon. 

Th-that was the worst nightmare I've ever had! That w-was just a nightmare… right? Right??? O-of course it was! That's totally absurd! I would… never…

His eyes drifted over towards the baby, fast asleep in the crib beside his bed. They were hugging onto their blankie while covered in a different blanket, sucking on a cute yellow pacifier with a star on it.

They looked so peaceful and happy. So cute. So precious. 

He suddenly thought about how easy it would be to just take their soul from them.

"NO!" He whimpered and turned away from them, gripping his hair tight enough to tear it from his skull. He couldn't be thinking like that! They were just a baby! A beautiful, sweet little baby! His…

…

…

"... [[See what happens when you let your guard down?]] [[You are putting this innocent human in danger.]] [[You should have stuck to the plan.]] [[They… they were never yours.]]"

The words felt heavy in his throat, like vomit being pushed out of his stomach, burning his insides like acid. 

With everything happening recently, he completely forgot about his plan to give Sky away to Swatch. He almost forgot why he couldn't keep them to begin with. Because he's broken. Because he's unstable. Because he's sick.

Because he's dangerous.

Trembling violently, he reached out to check the clock on the nightstand.

05:28. Almost half past five AM.

He sighed sadly and slipped out of the guest bed, standing up on shaking legs. He walked over to the wardrobe and put on his old outfit, grabbing his planning notebook from the bottom of the wardrobe and taking a random pen laying around. 

Then he gave Sky one more glance, examining their precious little face. He wrote a quick note and put it on the bed. Then Spamton headed out.

*~*~*

"Hnnnnng! My back! I gotta stop sleeping in the fetal position. It's going to ruin my spine" Click muttered tiredly as they stretched with an audible crack. They then yawned and headed over towards Spamton's room, giving it a weak knock. 

"Spammy. Wake up. I'm going to make breakfast" they announced and rubbed their eyes. When they didn't receive an answer, they groaned, annoyed and knocked louder.

"Spamton! Get up! It's going to get cold if you're not up when it's ready!"

As they waited, the only response they got was the sound of fussy crying from Sky. They felt a small jolt of worry shot through their chest and they decided to take a peek inside.

"S-Spamton?"

As they pushed the door open, they were met with an empty bed and a crying baby. They quickly began to panic and rush inside, picking Sky up and rocking them softly.

"Th-th-there there! Shh shh shhhh! It's alright! It's just Click!"

As they tried to comfort Sky, their eyes began darting around the room, searching for some sort of clue to where Spamton might have gone. That's when their eyes landed on a small piece of paper on the bed. They reached down to pick it up, still rocking Sky on their hip. They read it over quickly.

Hey Click. Sorry to scare you half to death, but I just had to go out for a bit. Don't worry, I'll be back later. Just had to clear my head a bit and stretch my legs. 

Could you please take care of Sky while I'm gone? Make sure they have their blankie in the morning or they will be grumpy all day.

• Spamton

Click let out a big sigh, both from relief and from frustration at Spamton scaring them like that. Why did he have to sneak out like that?! Couldn't he just tell them he was going out?! 

Well whatever. Right now, Click had to focus on the lightner and get them in a good mood for when their caretaker got back.

*~*~*

The puppet hunched down behind the dumpster he had been hiding by, praying that he hadn't been spotted. Luckily, it seemed that they missed him when looking over towards the trash area.

He was very lucky there, because it wasn't often Swatch wouldn't notice him sneaking around.

After a moment, he peeked back out again and saw Swatch heading away from the mansion. And judging by what he heard them say to TasqueManager, they were heading to their home.

Spamton had no idea they had one. He always assumed that they lived in one of the rooms at the queen's mansion, since that was always where he'd find them.

But if it was true, if they really did have their own separate house from their workplace, this whole operation would be a cake walk. All his plans so far had involved breaking into the mansion and dodging security to get the child directly to the butler. But now, all those plans could be thrown out the window! He would just have to leave Sky at their doorstep and knock. Then it would all be over. Sky would be safe and sound with Swatch, living a life of comfort and joy, growing up without any memory of his awful self.

But first, he'd have to actually find out where they live. So as soon as they were turning a corner, he went running after, trying to keep an appropriate distance between them so he wouldn't be spotted.

It was a bit of a walk, but soon enough, they both reached the bus station. Spamton just caught up as he saw the bird enter on the bus. He be lined  towards the doors before they closed, slinking inside and hurriedly getting into the seat behind them, which luckily was empty.

He poked his head up as he stood on the seat, watching as the bus started moving again. His eyes were pulled over towards Swatch, sitting right there, only a few feet away from him. He could practically smell their perfume from that short distance. The memories it brought back hit him like a bag of bricks.

"Hey! Sweet beak! Can I get-... Hm… what… what IS that wonderful scent?"

"Oh! I didn't think you'd notice. I'm using a new perfume that I found last week. It looked a little cheap, but the bottle caught my eye, so I decided to give it a shot."

"Oooooo~! Adventurous, are we~? I love that! And I gotta say, I love that smell! It's so… Soooo… fresh! It's like… a newly bought book! It's refined and has an undertone of sophistication."

"That's… a little bit of an exaggeration. It's just some store brand perfume."

"WHAT?! I don't believe that! This has to be some first class stuff! This smells so… you! It fits you perfectly! It's exquisite!"

"Ah… well thank you, Spamton. That's so kind of you to say. Maybe I'll wear it more often."

He couldn't believe that they were actually wearing it after all this time. Was it the only perfume they had? Or was it just a coincidence they wore it that day?

He couldn't stop staring at them. They looked just like they always did. Well, almost. They looked tired and stressed. But… that didn't affect their style or charm at all. They were still as handsome as always, just with that worn edge. 

Spamton suddenly felt a very powerful urge to reach out and tap their shoulder, or lean over and say hello, or just down right hug them with all his strength. God he missed them! They never did him anything wrong and were always the perfect friend. Every fault in their friendship was all on him. He was the one who made it fall apart. Because he listened to [Mike]. 

Would they even want to see him again?

When he saw Swatch getting up, he ducked back down right away and watched them head for the door. Then he snuck out after them, but froze in surprise as they had stopped just outside. The bus drove off and Spamton stood totally still behind the bird, not making a sound. 

"... Hm… maybe he was there… maybe I missed him and now he's…"

His heart began pounding hard and fast, not sure what they were talking about. 

"... No. Stop it. Spamton isn't there. He wouldn't come back for that machine… right? I wonder how desperate he's become… if he's even still alive."

Right at that moment, Spamton felt his heart had been completely split in two. Swatch was still thinking about him. He was still present in their mind.

… But not positively, by the sounds of it.

He just stood where he was as Swatch continued walking away. He couldn't say or do anything for a couple of seconds until the butler was gone from view. Then he snapped back to reality and went bolting after them, rounding the corner they walked down. 

Soon enough, he saw them approaching a house. They opened the gate and walked down the path toward… what Spamton could only describe as a house XL. 

It was large to say the least. It was almost the size of a mansion, but didn't have that same… grandeur. It wasn't extremely modernized either. It looked… quaint. The house seemed kinda cozy, like the type of place you'd always feel welcome in.

"SKY WILL B [at home] H3R3. . THEY WILL [living the life] A S [they/them] SH0ULD."

Now that he knew where it was, he just needed to write it down and note how to get there. Then, his plan would be in motion. He could finally give Sky the life they deserve.

… Away from him.

*~*~*

"The bandit kicks in the door and pulls out his gun. Alright! Put your hands up! Now I want all the money you got! Hand it over nice and easy! "

Click lowered their voice and put on a southern accent as they moved their action figure over towards the little improvised bar they had set up. Then Sky crawled over, holding another cowboy figure in their hands while babbling something that the Addison didn't understand. 

" Oh no! It's Sheriff Shade! Then he drops his gun and puts his hands up. I'm sorry! I-I didn't know this was your town!"

"Bad! No no! Stob be mean!"

"He's shaking in his boots now! I-I-I will! I'll change my ways! Just please don- "

Click was interrupted in the game they were playing with Sky, hearing the back door slam open and frantic footsteps running up the stairs. They quickly got up, picking Sky up with them, and rushed after the sound to check if Spamton was back.

They entered his room and saw him in there, going through the wardrobe and seemingly packing for something.

"Spam!!! There you are! I was starting to get really worried! I haven't seen you all day! Where have you been?!"

Click walked over to their friend, watching as he turned around with a grin.

"[Special announcement] CLICKR!!! I JUST [find anything you like] 2 GET SKYY A GO OD [realestate]!.!"

Click just tilted their head and gave a confused look as he kept packing. They were trying their best to interpret his glitches, but it just wasn't making much sense. 

Then Sky started reaching out towards the puppet and mumbling his name. He immediately whipped around and walked over, taking them into his arms and hugging them.

"[Thank you for your service],, CLICK! YOU HAVE BE3N A [decent] [babysitter for hire]!! ! [Greetings] SKY! ARE YOU [prepare yourself] TO MEAT [easels]??"

"Wait! Spamton! Slow down! What are you talking about??? What's going on?"

They stepped in front of him, trying to stop him from packing until he informed them of the situation. He just looked up at them surprised, then shoved them slightly out of the way to continue.

"[Yours truly] AND SKY ARE [evacuating the facility] TOO GIT THEM A NEW HOOM!"

Click's face went from confusion to disbelief in less than a second. He couldn't be serious about this, could he??? Maybe they had just misunderstood something. They must have!

"Wh-wh-what? A-a-are you mov-ving in with Flash or someth-thing?" They tried to sound humorous and not like they were freaking out completely.

"NO! I'M [bring the kids!] TO [head butler Swatch]!"

" YOU'RE WHAT!?! "

Click stared at him as he pulled out the brand new baby stroller Banner had bought from the corner of the room he had put it in. He took Sky by the hand and carried the stroller and his bag out the room and down the stairs. That's when the pink ad snapped out of their shock and ran after, grabbing Spamton by the shoulder.

"Wait! What do you mean you're bringing them to Queen's head butler?!? Why would you do that?!?"

"SWATCH IS [a well educated fella], CARING, [weakness: Cute things] & KNOWS [how-to] KEEP TH INGS ALIVE! THEY WILL BE [a happy customer] W/ THEM."

"THEY'RE HAPPY WITH YOU! I don't get it! Why this all of a sudden?! Did something happen? Did you have another breakdown?" Click's voice grew lower and lower as they spoke, realizing Spamton might be having an episode. Maybe he had some hallucination or that Mike guy got to him.

"IM [peachy keen]! I JUST FOUND [out of stock] WHERE SWATCH [Streaming live!]. NOW I C4N [          ] SKY WITH THEM! THEY WILL BE [happier]. THEY WILL BE [safe from me]."

Click sighed shakily and lowered themselves to the floor, holding a hand out to put on his shoulder. But they hesitated, not sure if the shorter ad might be on the edge of a panic attack or something like that. They didn't wanna do anything to cause him to tip over.

"Spam… You're… we talked about this. They are safe with you. You have done everything to make sure they are happy and healthy. You make them so happy and you-"

" DON'T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT SKY THAN ME!!! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!! "

Click yelped and fell back onto their butt, extremely startled by that sudden outburst.

"Spamdon…?" Sky mumbled softly and pulled at his sleeve. He snapped his head towards them, staring for a second before shaking himself back to the moment.

"Sky… SKY IS N0T [safety regulations] WITH [number 1 screw up]. I"M… DANGEROUS… I'M A [that dog's a bomb]. THEY ARE [warning: choking hazard for kids under      ] AROUND A [broken doll] LIK E MEE!"

"... No. No! That's not true! You haven't done anything to hurt them! You've been nothing but loving! You have some issues… but it's fine! That can be worked on! We're all here for you! I'm here to help you however you need!"

"SHUT UP!!! STOP [weekly talk show!] ABOOT ME LIKE YOU RE [a brilliant mind!]! STOP [acting roles needed] LIKE YO U C4N [she's a fixer-upper] ME! YOU'RE NOT A HERO! YOU'RE NOT THE [Mother Teresa]! YOU'RE A SELF-CENTERED [tired of messes?] THAT HAS TO ST1CK YOUR NOSE WHEERE IT DOESN'T BELONG!!!"

They gasped and started getting back up onto their feet, their face dropping into a nervous, barely contained waterfall of tears.

"S-s-spam-mton… that's…"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!!! YOU DON'T EVEN [sharing is caring] ABOUT ME!!  !"

"D… don't care…? Then what the hell have I been doing all this time?!? I've invited you to my house! I've fed you! Supported you the best I can! Doesn't that mean anything to you?! Doesn't that prove that I care at least a little?!"

"THAT'S NOT CARING! THAT'S YOU AND YOUR STUPID [Anxiety disorder]! YOU'RE ONLY BEING SO 'GEN>ROUS' NOW BEE CAUSE YOU'RE [feeling like a big man] GUILTY, AS YOU SHOULD AFTER ABANDONING ME!!! YOU,,RE NOT TRYING TO [press F1 for help]! YOU JUST WANNA CLEAR YOUR CONSCIENCE!"

"Clear my conscience?!? Are you freaking kidding me!?! How can you say something like that?! I understand that what I did was wrong! It was! But I just want to help you because I want you to be happy and safe! But my emotional support is starting to run really freaking thin right now! You have been treating me like a personal therapist and I've been listening to all your problems with no complaints! I'm so done with being an emotional punching bag! I can't believe you're yelling at me after you dumped your kid on me and-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT! AND I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR HELP! YOU FORCED IT ALL ON ME! TRICKED ME! LIED TO ME! YOU HAVE JUST BEEN PULLING ME ALONG! YOU'VE BEEN PULLING MY STRINGS TO MAKE ME DO WHAT YOU WANT SO YOU CAN FEEL GOOD! YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM MIKE!!! "

Click then let out a loud, genuinely horrified gasp and reeled back in shock. They stared at him, completely stunned and visibly hurt by what he just yelled so carelessly. But he just stared back at them with an expression of fury, breathing frantically as he had just let go a tidal wave of raw emotion and intrusive thoughts.

The room was silent. No one spoke. Even Sky was staying quiet as they gripped Spamton's arm and pressed up close to him.

"... … … … … … … Out. "

"H-huh?"

"Get out of my house. Now."

That was the moment Spamton realized he had gone too far. He had just let his mouth run without even once thinking about what words were flying out. It felt like he had temporarily lost control of his voice and body. But those were his words. Spamton had said all that, and he couldn't take it back.

"... C-Click… I'm… sorry-"

" Oh my god! Can you just go?! I don't care where! Go to Flash, Banner or Survey! Crash at their places! I'm done caring! Just leave me alone!!! "

As they shouted the last part, they spun around and rushed back upstairs towards their room, sobbing and wailing as tears flew everywhere. They slammed the door shut, leaving Spamton and Sky behind in the eerily, uncomfortably silent hallway.

…

Why did I say that? How could I say that? It's not true. They are nothing like him. They didn't deserve that.

"And once again, you drive away the people who you'd like to call your 'friends'. But they didn't really care about your view. They didn't care about Sky's safety, because they wouldn't believe you."

Mike is right. Time's just repeating itself again. I'm hurting my friends and making them cut me off. I should have tried to explain it better.

"I told you that you would be abandoned again. It's just how it goes when you're broken. You get thrown away into the trash. Which is why you should fix yourself. You should become better. Bigger. With NEO, you can show them all who's really the broken one."

No.

"What?"

No. I'm done with that. There is no point to it anymore. There is no point in trying it. Everything I'll do will end up… failing. You chose the wrong puppet, Mike. This one is beyond repair.

"Hold on, Spamton. That's not true. You're misunderstanding me. No puppet is beyond repair. There is potential in you yet, as long as you listen to me."

I already tried that, and look what good that did me. Hurt the people I care about. All you told me is true, and now I have to live that truth instead of indulging that beautiful lie I was living in. 

"You can't-"

No. I can't. But I can at least give Sky a good home.

Spamton stopped listening to Mike's pleas and attempts at reasoning. He had given up on NEO. That future was no longer appealing to him. Maybe he'd change his mind, but all he could think about right then was the worried kid hugging his waist. He had to get them to Swatch. No matter how much Mike kept begging him to stop and listen.

He just had to.

Chapter Text

It had been… a slow walk to Swatch's house. 

Spamton just wanted to draw it out as much as he could. He wanted to savor the last moments he'd get to spend with Sky. 

The baby was currently seated in their stroller, enjoying a cooling cream he had gotten them. He wanted to make sure that, if they did remember him, they would at least remember their last hours together fondly.

They deserved it. They deserved all the luxuries that life could offer them. They were an angel sent from heaven to light up the darkest of moments in his life. 

He treasured that short time he got to enjoy that blessing. But he wasn't going to risk their little life anymore. He was going to do what's right for them.

As he walked along the street, his mind began to wander. His thoughts drifted towards the events that happened earlier in the day.

You are no different from Mike.

He had really said to them, hadn't he. To Click. The most softhearted person he knew. 

He didn't mean it. He really really didn't. He didn't think they were anything alike. So why had he said that? Why did he even think such an awful, untrue statement?

It was just like when he left for the mansion. He shouted unforgivable things that weren't in the least bit true. He hurt them badly. But this time, he had somehow managed to drain Click of their patience. He had broken yet another friendship with the sweetest, kindest, most patient friend he had.

He really had sunk to the lowest of lows, hadn't he? Making them throw him out. He didn't deserve them. He didn't deserve such a nice place to live.

He just hoped Sky could forgive him for never getting to see any of the Addisons again.

The puppet glanced down at them as they were eating their treat. They seemed… so quiet. That was understandable. The fight earlier must have really shaken them. He was just happy they weren't crying.

Then he felt a sudden ache in his stomach, followed by a deafening gurgle. He stopped walking and hunched over, gripping his belly tightly.

"Spamdon? Hungy?"

"I-I-I-I-I- [finest dining around!]" Spamton shook his head, trying to dispel that glitch. That one was intense, having his body freak out for a second until he pulled himself together. 

"IM FINE [sugarplum]!!! JUST… [hungering for a bite at      ]! I'LL [contact management]!"

Truth was, he really was hungry. He hadn't eaten anything since yesterday, and even then he hadn't eaten before going to bed. So it was safe to say that he was practically starving. But he could power through it! He had gone longer without eating before! This was nothing!

Thinking that caused a hunger spike to shake his body, making him groan in agony. For some reason, his hunger was getting him pretty bad right then. And he wasn't exactly sure why.

Glancing around the area, he found himself right next to an alley. Perfect! He walked into it and started going through the first trash can he found. It seemed to be mostly rotten stuff and wrappers in it. Not very promising so far.

Sky watched him from the stroller, starting to get concerned for him. They could feel that their papa was hurting. He was sad. They knew they should help him, but they couldn't. 

Ever since the fight earlier, they had been trying their hardest to use that magic that always helped him. But it just wouldn't come to them. Or maybe it just didn't work. Maybe papa was too hurt for them to help. 

But that didn't mean they would stop trying.

"[SUCCESS!!!]" Spamton picked up a half eaten CD bagel that looked relatively clean and edible. Without a second thought, he immediately started wolfing it down like a starved animal. It was gone before he knew it.

"THER3! NO IM [fueled up] AND [battle ready armor] 2-" as he was wandering over to Sky to continue their trek, he heard a very displeased sound coming from his stomach. Then came a strong sense of nausea that had his head glitching out. He turned around and stumbled over to the wall, leaning against it as he hurled up the meal he just ate, and then some.

"SADOM!?" Sky said loudly, shifting around in the stroller in an attempt to get free. The white Addison held a hand out towards them, trying to reassure them he was fine between coughing and gagging.

When he finally finished barfing, he wiped his mouth and dragged himself back over to Sky.

"GUESSS I" M [out of touch with the] TRASH FOOD YET. GOINNA HAVE 2 GET [lightly used] TOO IT."

He gave the kid a soothing head pat before starting to head off again with them. 

They were really worried about him. He almost looked sick with how badly he just threw up. They tried to offer him their cooling cream, but he very quickly refused it and muttered something about losing his appetite.

The child frowned at him and gripped their blankie under their arm tighter. Why couldn't they make him feel better? Why wouldn't their magic work? 

Could they do anything to help?

Spamton felt like he had been walking for hours. Actually, he probably had been, since he could see that it was getting a little late. It was probably nearing late afternoon. 

He had just completely zoned out. He had been looking between Sky and the road while not thinking about anything. He got so transfixed on remembering the way to Swatch's house that his mind had finally grown kind of quiet. That was a new experience for him, but a welcome one. It was almost peaceful. 

But maybe that was just his way of coping with the situation, disconnecting from it entirely.

But maybe it was also due to his growing sluggishness. That bagel really did a number on him. That, plus the fact he didn't really get a good night's rest were probably key contributors to his current condition.

But none of that mattered. He was almost there. He recognised the bus stop just ahead. It wasn't far now until…

Until…

…

Spamton stopped for a second and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath while picturing what their new life would be like.

He saw Swatch playing with them, surrounded by fancy, expensive toys. 

He saw them being doted on by tons of Swatchlings, feeding them, bathing them and giving them all the love they could ever need.

He saw Swatch curled up in bed with them. They were hugging each other and were sleeping so peacefully, little smiles on both their faces.

That's the life they should live. They deserve this. 

He continued walking, trying to ignore that sinking feeling in his chest as he got closer and closer to his destination. He was doing the right thing. He was just doing what's best for Sky. But if that was true… Then why did it hurt so much? Was it his guilt gnawing away at his slowly crumbling sanity? Was it the realization that no one was safe to be around him? 

Maybe it was Mike's final punishment for his disobedience. He hasn't realized yet that Spamton is doing him a favor. He's not capable of doing what he needs. He's useless. Worthless. Trash. Slime.

Finally, Spamton reached his destination. He hadn't even noticed it at first, almost walking head first into the gate. He looked up at the big, beautiful house. It stood over him like the pearly gates. He could have sworn it was glowing radiantly. 

This was it. This was where he'd say his final goodbyes to Sky.

He quietly opened up the gate and stepped inside, closing it behind him. His eyes wandered over the garden, admiring it in all its pristine, holographic beauty. It was so well kept. All the holo-trees were perfectly trimmed and programmed. And the colorful decorations lining the sides of the path to the house made it look almost fairytale-like. But then again, he used to live in filth. And Swatch always had an eye for detail. So it wasn't very surprising.

He pushed the stroller down the path, his breath and heartbeat picking up in speed. He was nervous, getting so close to his old friend's home. He felt like he was intruding. Like he was invading their personal space.

It caused a dizzy spell to fall over him, bringing a sense of weakness and even nausea again. What if they saw him? What would happen then? Would they… hurt him? Would they hurt the baby?! 

No. No they wouldn't hurt a child. They have morals. Unlike him.

After what felt like miles, Spamton arrived at the doorstep. He just stood there and stared at the door in front of him. He had to fight against every instinct in his body to not chicken out and just run away. He couldn't show himself to Swatch again! And he wouldn't. He'd just ring the bell and leave Sky and their things on the step. Swatch would take them in. Swatch would care for them. Sky would be happy.

He turned to Sky, putting on a smile as he kneeled in front of them.

"... … … Hey, Sky. We're here. At Swatch's place. Remember Swatch? I told you about them. They will take good care of you. They will give you everything you could ever want!"

"Swash?"

"Mhm! That's right! They are an amazing, kind and loving individual. They will give you the support I never could. They will keep you safe… from me."

"Swash n Spamdon? Bubby?"

Spamton wasn't listening fully. He got a little distracted, clearing his eyes of tears as they started to involuntarily pour from his eyes.

"Y-yeah! You will b-be happy! B-but now… I have to go. Promise me… you'll never change. Continue being the light in the dark for anyone you love. Keep that attitude of yours, never let anyone walk over you! And… And promise you'll take care of Swatch for me, ok?"

Sky was watching him talk, seeing the tears running down his face as he did. He looked so empty and hopeless. They felt how heartbroken he was. And still their magic did nothing to help! They wanted to comfort him! They wanted to protect him from the hurt! 

The next best thing they could think of was reaching out towards him and trying to hug him.

"PAPA! PAPA!"

The puppet froze, his eyes staring blankly at the ground. Had he really heard that? Or was his still dizzy head playing tricks on him? Probably just another one of his hallucinations. 

Still, he lifted his head and looked at Sky.

"What…?"

"PAPA! PAPA HUG!"

That one was undoubtedly real.

He stared in shock, feeling all those symptoms from earlier increase tenfold. 

He started shaking violently, reaching out slowly and unbuckling them from the stroller. 

Then he grabbed them and hugged them tightly to his chest, beginning to sob loudly.

" I CAN'T DO IT!!! I CAN'T!!! I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOU!!! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!!! YOU GAVE MY LIFE MEANING AFTER I FELL INTO THE GARBAGE!!! "

He couldn't stop crying. His heart was swelling with all of these overwhelming emotions. They called him papa! They saw him as their dad! They really loved him that much! He had never felt that type of connection before in his pathetic, cold, stupid little life!

" I'M SO WEAK! I'M SUCH A PATHETIC AND WEAK MAN!!! I HAD ONE THING I NEEDED TO DO AND I COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! I'M SO FREAKING WEAK!!!"

He felt Sky hugging him tightly back, his own grip tightening in response to make sure they wouldn't disappear from him. Everything was spinning, his stomach was tying itself in knots and his heart was aching more than it ever had before. He felt like he was going to be sick. But he didn't care! He just couldn't let go of Sky! He couldn't let anything or anyone take them away from him!

"Oh my god… S… Spamton?"

The puppet felt a chill travel up his spine. Time seemed to stop and his body ran totally cold. It felt like he completely disconnected from his physical form as he heard that voice from behind him.

Slowly he managed to turn his head and look up at the butler standing in the open doorway. They had their hands over their mouth and looked like they had seen a ghost. 

Spamton wanted to explain himself. He wanted to come up with an excuse or an apology to his old friend. Just something. 

But he couldn't. He felt like he was going to puke. His arms and legs were growing shaky and weak. The entire world was spinning around him as the panic was growing too much for him to handle.

"S-S-Sp-Spamton? Is that… really…?"

He could only think of one thing to say at that moment.

"... … … Please don't… let them get hurt… "

Then everything seemed to fade away.

*~*~*

Swatch wasn't sure what they had expected when they heard some noise coming from the front door.

They had just been trying to relax with some tea, having the downstairs to themselves as the Swatchlings that were home were busy doing stuff in the upstairs areas. 

But then they heard what sounded like shouting from the front door. That was odd, they thought. Who could it be? Had one of the Swatchlings fallen and hurt themselves? Was a stray tasque outside and got their tail stuck somewhere?

The last thing they had been expecting was Spamton kneeling on their doorstep, clutching a child in his arms while wailing uncontrollably. It was a very strange sight. But they didn't care about that. They only cared about the fact that it was him. Spamton was alive. He was right there in front of them. But what he said after they muttered their disbelief had them very confused.

'Please don't let them get hurt.'

That's what he told them before his glasses turned pitch black and he collapsed onto the ground.

But Swatch was very fast to react. They threw themselves at him and embraced him, trying to save both him and the lightner from falling and hurting themselves on the hard ground.

The poor bird stared at him, still in shock by the sheer fact that he was even there. They couldn't believe their eyes. He was still with them. But he looked extremely unwell. 

The only thought passing through their head was:

I have to get him inside! He needs medical attention!

But they couldn't really get up. Not without risking dropping one of the two people in his arms. He needed help.

"SOMEONE!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!? I NEED HELP OVER HERE!!! BY THE FRONT DOOR!!!"

It didn't even take a minute until two Swatchlings were rushing over towards them, very frazzled by the sudden shouting.

"What happened?!"

"Is everything alright?!"

"Burgundy! Periwinkle! I need help!"

They both gasped as they saw the individuals in their arms.

"MASTER SPAMTON!?"

"A-A-AND A LIGHTNER?!"

"I don't have time to explain! He needs medical attention immediately!"

"U-understood! Sh-should we take Master Spamton or the child?"

Swatch paused for a moment, considering that question.  

They really really didn't want to let go of Spamton. They finally had him back, how could they just give him up again? 

But they could already see the crying baby burying themselves into their chest. They were weakly mumbling their name as they gripped onto their shirt.

It was a hard decision to make. But they didn't have a choice.

"Take Spamton up to Eggshell. I'll take care of the little one."

They both nodded at Swatch as Burgundy walked over and carefully picked the unconscious ad up into his arms. He held him like he was a fragile vase, at risk of breaking at the slightest jostle. 

"There there, Master Spamton. We'll get you nice and comfortable. Won't we, Periwinkle?"

"Oh yes! We'll get you all the pillows we can find! And we'll get you any blanket you might need! Fluffy, silky, thick, thin, weighted! We'll take good care of you!"

They both spoke softly to Spamton as they walked into the house. Swatch was still standing outside, holding Sky in their arms. Their gaze shifted over towards the bag and stroller beside them. 

"Were these… Spamton's?"

"Papa."

"Huh? Papa?"

They looked at the child, trying to process everything that had just happened.

Then it all clicked.

"... That's why… you knew his name. He… he was taking care of you. God! I can't believe that possibility never occurred to me! I'm such a fool!"

Sky reached out and pulled on their tie, gaining their attention again.

"Wan go 'Nside."

"Oh! Of course, Sky. Let's… let's go inside" they said nervously as they picked up the bag and pushed the stroller in with them, gently shutting the door behind them.

*~*~*

It was getting pretty late. Swatch sat in a rocking chair in the library, child nuzzled up in the crook of their arm while they read them a story. 

They had kept themselves… relatively collected. Honestly, they were extremely tense on the inside. They tried to stay grounded and focus on the baby as much as possible, but found their head continuing to wander over to Spamton. 

They were so worried about him. What had happened to him? He looked positively sickly. He had been shaking and swaying, his usually vibrant cheeks turning very pale and his eyes… god. They didn't even want to talk about them. 

They were full of sorrow and hurt.

But the bird couldn't fixate on that right then. They had a child who had to sleep. They were already fed and cleaned, yet they still wouldn't just go to bed.

Swatch thought that maybe they would fall asleep if they read them a story. So far, two fairytales in, and they were still wide awake. They just looked up at Swatch from time to time with curiosity, sucking on their pacifier.

They had to admit, Sky was one adorable kid. A little bit of a rebel, if their refusal to fall asleep was anything to go by. But they were a sweet child. And Swatch couldn't help but smile at them every now and then.

That still didn't help how worried they were though.

A small little jingle notified them that someone was calling. They picked up the phone and answered.

"Hello?"

"Master Swatch. I just wanted to inform you of Spamton's status again."

"Anything changed?"

"Not really. I managed to lower his trembling, but he's not awake and he hasn't given any other reactions. I can confidently say that low HP isn't an issue in this case. It has to be some sort of sickness, and I also suspect fatigue."

"Are you sure it's nothing worse?"

"Not completely, since his glitches make it a tad bit harder to diagnose him. But I am sure that he is not in a critical condition."

"That's a relief. Do you think he'll wake up soon?"

"No. Sorry. He seems very weak at the moment. I'm trying to treat him with some medication that should also help calm the glitches. If only for a while."

"Thank you so much, Eggshell. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Don't mention it, Swatch. Just doing what's right. I should get going now. Ivory said that if you need help with the kid, she's only one call away."

"Thanks. I should get back to Sky now."

"Of course. Take care."

They hung up and let out a deep sigh, leaning their head back and staring at the ceiling.

Poor Spamton. I wish I could help somehow. I wish I could be there and talk to him. He looked so scared. I just want to reassure him that everything will be fine.

Well, guess I can't blame the child now. I don't think I'm going to fall asleep tonight either.

"Hey, sweetheart. How about we try reading another book? These fairytales aren't doing it for me."

"Swash otay?"

"Yes Yes. I'm fine. Just… I'm alright. Don't worry, little one."

Sky stared at them with this intense gaze, as if they were looking right past their outer shell and examining their soul. 

Sky could tell Swatch was lying. Even if they didn't understand everything the bird said, they could tell that their voice and their heart were saying different things.

They felt the butler's fear, their concern for their papa. They understood. They were worried too. Maybe Swatch just needed some help relaxing.

Sky hesitated. They weren't sure that they would be able to help, since their magic failed them when trying to help their papa. But maybe it would work on Swatch.

So, as Swatch sat back down after grabbing a new book, Sky moved to cuddle up against their plumage, laying near where their heart was.

"Awe… Hey now. Don't you worry. Everything is going to be fine. I've got you. And we all have him too. Don't be scared."

The lightner closed their eyes and started breathing gently, thinking about the softest, most comfy things they could ever imagine. They remembered falling asleep, with their papa holding them close. His arms wrapped around them and his heart beating soothingly. His body was always so comforting to them.

As Swatch gently ran their feathers down the child's back, they felt a yawn escape their lips.

Oh my… I don't recall this chair being so comfortable before. It's almost like a bed. And the rocking… I think I might actually fall asleep here if I don't get up.

They went to stand back up, until another yawn slipped out and they sank down again, eyes closing involuntarily.

I'm too tired to get up… It's just so… cozy. I didn't realize it earlier, but holding Sky feels a lot like holding Spamton. Like father… like… child…

Nuzzling their beak against Sky, they let out a big, relaxed sigh and started drifting off. Sky did the same, neither one noticing as the gentle glow from the kid dimmed until it was gone.

*~*~*

…

…

…

Click didn't sleep that night. 

They were too busy wondering if Spamton was right about them.

Chapter Text

The morning felt so serene. It was still and quiet. Usually, there would be a bunch of feet pattering up and down the hallway of busy housework. Believe it or not, but Swatch wasn't usually the first one awake. 

But everything was so peaceful at that moment. No vacuums or clattering dishes. Just the gentle sound of a tiny breath and a slightly distant noise of page turning. 

That was when Swatch remembered, in their barely wakeful state, that they had fallen asleep in the library rocking chair.

Oh. Right. I was so tired and the chair felt so comfortable. 

… Wish it still felt that comfortable. My back is a little sore.

They let out a soft groan and opened their eyes, taking in the sight of bookshelves lining the walls around them. They could feel Sky in their arms, still sound asleep. It put a smile on their face, giving their purple little head some gentle scritches.

"Ah! Finally! I was wondering if you would ever awaken from your slumber!"

Their smile turned amused as they heard that proper voice they could recognize from miles away.

"Good morning, Mahogany. I would say it's a pleasant surprise to see you here, but it's not that surprising to see you in the library."

"Well, I cannot say the same thing in your case. I'm very perplexed to find you slumbering here in the archives. Is this anomaly in relation to our current unwell visitor?" 

"Sort of. I was just trying to read to Sky here to help them sleep. Guess it helped me more than them."

"Oh ho ho! I would not say that the late night perusal is the reason for your exhaustion last evening."

Swatch looked over at him with a raised brow, a little confused by his smug statement.

"Explain?"

"With pleasure!"

He stood up and put a bookmark into the book he was reading, shutting it gracefully with one hand before walking over to Swatch.

"You see, my dear friend, I actually entered when you were in the process of pacifying the young lightner. I witnessed the phenomena with my own eyes! A yellow gleam was shining from the lightner's personage, which appeared to cause some form of tranquility within you! It seemed to assist you in your rest."

They stared at him blankly, clearly lost on his point. He hummed softly and then continued with his explanation.

"I suppose what I am trying to convey is that the child had used some sort of magic to soothe you into a snooze. So I believe they used a Pacify spell on you."

Swatch hummed to themselves curiously, trying to recall what exactly had happened last night.

They do remember feeling something different. But… they couldn't say it felt like someone cast Pacify on them. It felt… different. It wasn't like sleep was taking over and they just couldn't keep themselves awake. It felt more like… a change in atmosphere. Their entire mood had just shifted, their mind so relaxed and their body so comfortable. 

Yeah. That's the word they would use to describe it. Comfort.

"I'm… not so sure, Mahogany. This felt different. It felt more… passive. It wasn't like a direct target spell, but an area spell. And it wasn't as much of a… knocking you out sort of feeling, but rather a coaxing you to bed sort of feeling? Does any of that make any sense?"

Mahogany looked between Swatch and Sky, humming loudly and thoughtfully. He probably did it on purpose. He was always so… keen on appearing methodical and sophisticated.

"I must say it does. In fact, I could very well say that I've had experience with this class of magic myself!"

"Really? You know that spell?"

"Oh no no no! Perish the thought! That type of magic is not in my repertoire! But I have found myself the recipient of such a power."

"Does that mean you know what it is?"

"INDEED I DO!" He sounded so proud as he pulled out a random book without looking, wandering over to Swatch and leafing through the pages quickly. Then he held it out to them. They took it and looked over the page.

"This is just a page about Pacify. I thought I said it was different."

"Oh my dear! Please focus on the finer details! I have added my own research into the book, via those adhesive monstrosities!"

Swatch looked down at the book and noticed the sticky notes that were added onto the page. They looked over the summary of the spell before checking the notes.

"... So… you think it's a… variation on the spell?"

"As Blond would say, 'BINGO'. From my in-depth research on the topic of magic, certain spells can have rare mutations, resulting in new and unique types of magic!"

"So… you believe that's what this is?"

"Precisely! AND I would wager a guess that we know someone who also possesses this unique ability." 

"Who?"

" Ivory! "

Swatch looked stunned. They had no idea she had magic like that 

"She and I discussed the matter of magic and she informed me that she had knowledge of one which she didn't think was recorded. Judging by its effects, I suggested the name 'Neutralize'. But she suggested… 'Peacify'."

"... Don't tell me she got it from-"

"She got it from Fuchsia."

"Oooooof course."

They were both startled when they heard a sudden wail from Swatch's arms. They looked down and saw Sky awake, crying and kicking grumpily.

They immediately got to work and started rocking the fuzzy toddler.

"Shhhhhh. Shhhhhh. It's alright. It's ok. Shshshhhhh~."

"BAN'GY!!! BANKY!!!" they cried and shifted around, not wanting to settle down.

"... May I politely offer you go and speak with Ivory? Perhaps she could assist you with your child related issues."

Swatch huffed amusedly before getting up off the chair and grinning at Mahogany.

"If you want me to bring the baby out to let you read in peace, just say so."

"Oh thank the stars! Please relocate the noise nuisance!"

They laughed at his plea and agreed, heading off to find Ivory and discuss a little about this new magic they just learnt about.

*~*~*

"Oh! Really? Someone else knows how to use Peacify?!"

"Ivory. My dear friend. I am begging you, please don't call it that. "

The Swatchling laughed daintily and reached out to pet the now settled child, hugging and nibbling on their blankie.

"Sorry, Swatch! It's first come, first serve! And Fuchsia was the first to suggest the name to me, so I'm sticking to it!"

Then she picked the human up and sat them on her lap. She bounced them lightly, making them giggle softly.

"Now, if I'm going to be honest, I don't think I've ever met anyone who also had the same ability as me. The fact that a lightner is the first is very shocking."

"Would you mind telling me what the spell does?"

"Not at all! Mahogany seems to believe that, due to it being a mutation, its effects are a lot more… diverse? But the power of it is decreased. So it doesn't work like normal Pacify. It's not like having hexed someone to sleep, but rather influencing someone to calm down or experience a certain emotion."

"I see. So it… could potentially be resisted?"

"Oh easily! If one didn't want to or if they were too far gone, it would probably fail immediately!"

"Too far gone?"

"Like… if they were depressed, enraged or had lost all hope in something. I don't know exactly, just generally."

"Hmm… interesting. It… feels very reassuring in regards to Spamton. That he had someone with that power by his side makes me very happy. He deserves the relief."

"Speaking of… How are you feeling? About the whole thing with Spamton?"

Swatch tensed at the question. They had been trying to avoid that train of thought by focusing on Sky and this rare magic they had. But… suppose they couldn't ignore it forever.

"I… I'm not sure. I haven't worked through… all of it yet. But right now, I'm just scared. Scared of his condition, scared of his overall health, scared of his… opinion on me. Is that selfish to think?"

"Not at all, Dear. It's fine to be worried about things like that. It's reasonable. You can't control what you worry about. And you are still concerned for his well being, so you are far from selfish!"

They nodded and looked down at Sky, who was looking right back at them and chewing on the blanket absentmindedly.

"He's going to be fine. My brother assured me of it." She paused as she noticed the exchange of glances happening between the human and the bird. She smiled brightly and picked them up again, nuzzling their face a little.

"You know, I think this is a sign. Us sharing magic. I think they are going to grow up to be a great caretaker."

Swatch shifted their eyes over to her, raising a brow at her in doubt.

" Ooooooh ! You just wait and see! Give them a couple of years and Sky is going to be a healthcare professional! A little prodigy!"

They both started laughing at that, finding the light-hearted atmosphere to be pleasant and a little funny.

Then Ivory looked down at her pocket in surprise. She handed Sky to Swatch before checking her phone. She read whatever was sent, her white eyes widening slightly in response.

"Oh?"

"Wh-what?"

"I… no no no. Hang on. That can't be right. Hold on, dear. Let me just double check."

Swatch sat across from her nervously, waiting for her to send her text and tell him what was up. She seemed to get a reply fairly fast, once again making her look surprised at the screen.

"Well… I'll be damned."

"What is it?"

She looked up at Swatch with a smile. 

"Spamton is awake!"

*~*~*

The day felt so bleak. Morning was no different from night when you were awake to watch the gradual shift of the sky grid color.

But Click knew it was morning. Well… not anymore, since they spent the entire morning, and night, laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. They hadn't even touched their phone or anything as a way to distract themselves like usual.

They didn't deserve that.

They deserved to lay in their bed of self-pity and hurt. To think about what Spamton had said to them. What they had said to him. Not just yesterday, but since they first got to know each other.

They analyzed every word they had ever said and picked it apart for inspection, trying to figure out how that 'how are you' could have secretly been a manipulation tactic. How a compliment might have actually been backhanded or how selfish they were for ever voicing their feelings at any point.

Are these all things Mike also did?

They kept asking themselves that. They repeated it. Asked it in different ways. Omit the question mark all together. 

They were still just thinking the same thing.

It was an intense spiral. Not their worst, but it sure was down there. Probably second place… maybe third. 

They hadn't even had the energy to cry anymore. They had run dry at about midnight. It was just… misery. They didn't want to do anything. They didn't want to get out of bed and face the world. 

Because they didn't deserve to.

They were hungry. Very hungry. But they didn't have the energy to get anything. They were also thirsty. Same thing there, no energy.

Their phone buzzed again. It had been buzzing quite a bit that morning.

But they didn't have the energy to check it. 

What if someone needs my help? Am I just as bad as Mike for not answering? If I answer, will I hurt someone else? It's safer to leave it be.

They let out a gloomy sigh and rolled over on the bed, pulling their blanket over their head to hide their face from anyone who might accidentally see it.

…

…

…

Then there's a knock.

Click pretends to not hear it.

More knocking.

Click prays that whoever it is will go away.

The door opens.

That had them reacting at least. They went rigid and stopped breathing all together, listening intently to the sound of talking coming from downstairs.

It started getting clearer as footsteps could be heard walking up the steps. Click did not breathe, still trying to discern exactly how many voices it was and who they belonged to.

But before they could, the door to their bedroom opened.

"Click? Hey, buddy! You gotta be more careful! You left your door unlocked!"

Flash.

"Flash, please! Have some decency! They might be sleeping."

Banner.

"Is everything alright with you?"

… And Survey. Of course.

They stayed under the blanket, hoping maybe they would be fooled into thinking they were asleep.

But that was quickly foiled as Flash yanked the blanket off them and the bed. Their body ran cold from more than just the air exposure.

"Click! Wake up! It's late, what are you still doing in bed?!"

"Dear, is everything alright with you? You never answered any of our messages" Banner asked in gentle concern.

Survey didn't say anything, just walked up to Click and stood beside them silently. He was the one they were most worried about. He could read people like an open book. They didn't want to be read.

They suddenly felt a hand on their arm. It freaked them out so much so that they whimpered and recoiled from the touch, as if it was acidic.

"Click. What's wrong?"

"… … … … …" They've already caused enough problems. Them and their big loud mouth. It was better to stay quiet.

"Hey. Where is the kid?" Banner asked.

"And Spam?" Flash added on.

It broke them. 

They started gasping quietly, trying to silence the growing hysteria in their throat.

"Click! Are you alright? Is this a panic attack?" Survey quickly checked on them, this time without touching them. 

They didn't respond, too busy trying to force down sobs and whines before they made themselves known. 

"Oh no. Oh no, oh god. It's a panic attack!" Banner mumbled nervously, also starting to panic from the growing distress in the room.

"Calm down, Ban! Make yourself useful by getting some water! And take that time to pull yourself together!" Despite how rude Flash sounded, it really was meant as a way for Banner to help while distancing himself from the scene. As to not get overwhelmed. He nodded thankfully and left to do just that.

"Click. Listen to me. I think you're having a panic attack. But it's going to be fine. I'm here. Whatever is wrong, I'll help with. Now, please breathe with me, ok? Then we can fix this. So just breathe in slowly, through your nose. Then out through your mouth."

They listened to Survey talk, but didn't feel like they could follow his instructions. He couldn't help! This couldn't be fixed! They were just a bad person and that couldn't be solved!

They clumsily started reaching towards the back of their head, fingers searching for their ponytail. As they felt it, the pink salesperson pulled on it, tugged at it. They couldn't help it! It was just too much! 

Survey quickly took their hand and pulled it away from the ponytail, making them let out a pained whimper.

"It's ok. It's alright. Just breathe and we'll be able to talk. Please don't pull your hair, you'll hurt yourself. Now, think you can breathe for me?"

He sounded so calm and composed. He didn't give off any hints of worry or nerves. It felt a little reassuring. But they couldn't get themselves to breathe at the tempo he wanted. They were shaking too hard. 

"Hey. Survey. I went to check the guest room. Spamton wasn't there" Flash whispered to him, earning a very soft, but blunt "Not now" in response.

The guilt weighing on Click suddenly became overwhelming. They threw Spamton out. They told him to leave. They took away the one place he had started to call home. 

I am no different from Mike…

They felt the need to confess to everything they did wrong. They felt like they deserved to be punished by any means necessary. Even if it was from their friends.

"I'M SORRY!!! I'M SO SORRY!!! I AM AWFUL!!! HE DIDN'T DESERVE IT!!! HE WAS RIGHT!!! I'M SELFISH, I'M MANIPULATIVE!!! HE-HE-HE-HE-"

"Hey. Hey. It's alright. Just try to breathe, please. We don't know what you're talking about. We can talk once you're understandable."

But they felt the need to confess more. They had to. They had to be transparent with what a horrible person they were. They didn't even take the chance to catch their breath before going off again.

"SPAMTON WAS RIGHT!!! HE WAS RIGHT!!! I AM HORRIBLE!!! I THREW HIM OUT OF HIS HOME!!! I PUNISHED HIM FOR SAYING WHAT HE FEELS!!!"

Both Survey and Flash looked stunned. They had clearly not expected something so big to have happened.

"... Click. You can explain later. Please, ju-"

"You… you did… what?!? " Flash suddenly cut in, her head hanging low, like her tone. She did not sound very  happy.

"Flash, no. Not now. We don't have the context of-"

"WHAT THE HELL!?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?! HE HAS NO WHERE ELSE TO GO!!! AND YOU SENT HIM BACK TO THE GARBAGE!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?! DON'T YOU HAVE A FREAKING HEART!?!"

Click stiffened from the sudden yelling, feeling like their heart just stopped beating. They became completely cold and quiet, pulling their legs up to their chest and trying to hide in them. They deserved this. For what they did.

"Flash. Now is not the time for this."

"LIKE HELL IT ISN'T!!! WE FINALLY GOT SPAMTON BACK!!! AND NOW THEY ARE JUST GOING TO THROW HIM OUT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING?! HE'S GOD DAMN FAMILY!!!"

Their head was throbbing. They felt themselves start to hyperventilate. 

Oh god! Oh Jesus Christ! I am awful! I am terrible! I am worse than Mike! Spamton is my friend! How could I do that!?!

"Are you serious right now, Flash?!" Banner suddenly returned, holding a glass of water and looking pretty pissed.

"You're yelling at Click during a panic attack?! When they literally can't think straight?!"

"Wha-! B-buh… Th-They…!"

Before she could excuse anything, she was grabbed by the arm and dragged out of the room by the orange Addison. But he quickly peeked back in to put down the glass of water, then closed the door.

Survey sighed in relief and looked back at Click, who seemed to have disconnected completely. They just gasped erratically and shivered horrendously. Survey had to put on the extra soft voice for this.

"Heeey. It's going to be fine. Everything seems very messy right now, but it's going to be fine. I know you might feel scared or guilty, but we can try to figure things out. Just… pretty please take a deep breath."

They didn't want to cause more trouble. They should just do as he said and get this over with. They took a shaky breath and tried to focus on making it as slow and even as possible.

"... One second." Survey got up from the floor and walked away from them, leaving them to take slow inhales and exhales. He came back after a second, holding a slinky in his hand.

"Here. This usually makes you calm."

Oh yeah! Their old slinky! They love the feeling of weighing it between their hands. It's so satisfying. Just the thought of doing it made them antsy to take it.

Once they got the toy from him, they did just that. It felt so good. They just kept moving it around in slightly varying ways for a while, until Survey brought them out of their focus.

"Feeling better?"

"... Y-yeah…"

"Now, go ahead and tell me exactly what happened."

Click gulped nervously, forcing themselves to not think too hard about their self doubt.

"S-so… Spamton came back home after going on a walk. He left Sky at home for me to watch and disappeared before I woke up. When he came in… h-he started immediately packing things and getting ready to leave again. 

I asked what was happening and he told me that he was bringing Sky to the queen's head butler, because he was too dangerous for them."

Survey's eyes widened in surprise, not having expected Swatch to be brought up. Click didn't think much of it and just continued.

"I tried to tell him that he wasn't a danger at all, he was an amazing caregiver. B-b-but he st-tarted yelling at me! H-he t-t-told me I didn't understand anything! Th-that I don't care about him and just wanted to satisfy my own guilt and ego.

I yelled back at him that I had done so much for him. I had done everything I could to make him comfortable and help him with his issues! Wasn't that proof enough of how much I care?

Then… then he told me that… I was just as bad as Mike…"

The blue Addison gasped quietly in surprise, unable to believe what he was hearing. 

Spamton really said that?! To click?! That's awful! Especially considering everything he's told us about him. No wonder Click has been so devastated.

"I told him… to get out of my house. I said I don't care where he goes. He could go to one of your houses for all I care, just to leave me alone. 

Then I ran up to my room. I heard him leave soon after that, but I still stayed in my room."

"Have you eaten anything?"

Click looked up at Survey, confused by the question.

"... N-no?"

"Here-" he said, pulling out a powerbar from his bag. "- take one of these. And get some rest. We can discuss this more after you're properly energized. You look like you need a nap."

"... Th-thank you… but…"

"Click." He sounded firm, serious.

"What Spamton said is not true. You are nothing like him. I know, I've talked to him. He's intimidating and domineering, rude, smug. You are not any of those things. He wouldn't worry about having hurt someone."

Then Survey wrapped his arms around them and patted their back calmingly. He let them sigh and sniffle against his shoulder as he grabbed the water from the night stand.

"Alright. Now drink and eat, then nap for a while. I won't have any buts, alright? No excuses."

Well the pink ad didn't have any room to argue with that, now did they? So they nodded gently and started eating their snack. But they looked up at Survey as they did.

"... Could you stay a little while?"

"Of course. I'll stay until you're fast asleep. Don't worry."

"Th-thanks."

*~*~*

The butler could feel their heart racing as they did the same, hurrying through the hallway towards Ivory and Eggshell's room. The prior of the two was following them, trying to make them slow down while she carried the kid.

"Swatch, please calm down! Like I said, he's totally fine! But we shouldn't be too hasty!"

They ignored her and continued speed walking, mind hyper focused on finally getting to properly speak with Spamton again. It had been years since they talked. There were so many things they had to tell him! So many apologies! So much begging for him to let them help however they can! They just had to talk to him.

"Swatch!" Ivory called out again, picking up the pace to catch up. She soon did and grabbed them by the shoulder, stopping them right in their tracks.

"Ivory, please! I have to see him! I have to talk with him! I have to hear his charming, quirky voice again!"

"I know, dear. But… you might not get what you're looking for right now."

"Wh-why is that?"

She looked to the side, having an awkward, unsure expression on her face.

" Weeeeell… Spamton is… Eggshell said that he's currently not in his right mind due to the medication he had to use. It was a bit more than he had anticipated was necessary."

"... Are you… saying Spamton is…?"

"Look. Just… try to be mindful, alright? And most of all, be very careful with him. He's in a delicate mental state and we need to make sure he feels safe and comfortable, especially when he's heavily medicated."

Swatch sighed heavily, feeling almost robbed of the chance to speak with their old friend again. But they still wanted to see him, even if he wasn't acting like himself.

Ivory could tell they understood and gave a patient smile. She then held up Sky to them and gave a meaningful nod. Swatch nodded back and took the kid, setting them against their hip.

"Come on, Sky. Let's bring you to papa."

They hadn't even entered the room and they could tell that Spamton was awake. They heard his loud, sad bawling from a bit away. But when they entered the room, it was worse.

Spamton was sitting up in Eggshell's bed, wailing like a little kid who just scraped their knee. The Swatchling who's bed it was looked a little nervous, trying to calm him down and comfort him as best he could. But Spamton just whined and gripped the blanket to his chest, blubbering tearfully.

"... What the…?"

The Swatchling beside the crying Addison looked up at them and let out a sigh of relief. He got up and walked over to them as Spamton started shouting "WHERE IS MY BABY!?!"

"Thank goodness you brought the kid. He started freaking out the moment he noticed they were gone. I tried to tell him they were fine, but he won't even listen to me."

Swatch shifted their focus from Eggshell to Spamton, seeing him lay back down and clutching onto the blanket, sobbing and saying Sky's name over and over.

They looked back to the other bird and nodded lightly.

"I'll take care of it from here. Just stay in the room, alright?"

He nodded back before Swatch swallowed tensely and walked over to the ad.

"SKYYYYYYY!!! WHAAAAAAA!!! WHERE IS MY SKY?!? I WANT MY SKY!!!"

Swatch kneeled down beside him.

"Hey, Spamton. Look who came to say hello!"

Sky reached out towards him with grabby hands, desperately trying to hug him.

"PAPA! PAPA!"

In a second, the crying stopped and he looked over towards his kid. It was like his entire mood flipped as he saw them. He gasped loudly and threw himself at them, pulling them into bed with him and rolling around in pure joy.

"MY BABY!!! MY SWEET LITTLE ANGEL!!! MY SKY!!! MY SKY!!! I missed you so so so so so so so so much! Don't ever leave your pops again! I was so scared for my precious widdle sweetheart!"

Swatch stared at them in bewilderment, watching as he held them close and nuzzled them like his life depended on it. He started shoving his teeth against their face, making kissing noises and kicking his feet giddily. Sky just squealed in joy and laughed at the affection he gave them.

"I love you~!!! I love you so much~! You're the sweetest, cutest, bestest little thing ever!!! You're a little angel! And little angels get little kissies~!"

The butler wasn't so sure they should be watching this. It seemed… kinda private. They felt like they were intruding on a sweet moment. Maybe they should leave…

But before they could even humour the idea, Spamton seemed to finally realize who exactly had brought Sky to him. He shot up straight and stared at them like they were some abstract art piece.

"... … … Swatch…? Swatch? Swatch… Swatch?!"

He just continued saying their name in varying tones, going from shocked to really sad to hopeful. They couldn't begin to guess what Spamton's opinion of them was. They just rubbed their neck awkwardly and tried to find something to say.

"Um… yeah. It's me! How are you, Spamton? I was worried about you when I saw you at my door."

He blinked stupidly, looking like he had short circuited and broke. They shifted their eyes away from him in discomfort and wracked their brain for another topic.

"Look, I'm… uuuuh… you…" they suddenly felt themselves getting tongue tied, their mouth ceasing to cooperate with them at all. They felt a cold sweat break out, their heart picking up in speed as they were mildly panicking.

"... Swatches… " Spamton's voice turned tearful as his grip on Sky loosened and his eyes once again watered. He sniffled and swayed unsteadily from Sky shifting around and trying to hug him.

"Oh my! Careful, Spamton!" They quickly reached out and put their wings on his shoulders, trying to steady him again. 

"Swaaaaaatch! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for sneaking and touching the robot! You were right! You're always right! I was a stupid stupid stupid idiot! Dumb Spamton! Dumb puppet!" He started rambling as the tears ran down his face again. He almost dropped Sky again as he forgot to keep his grip on them, but they made up for it by hugging onto his waist.

"S-S-Spamton! N-n-no! No no no! I'm the one who's sorry! You weren't in your right mind! You were desperate and begging for my help and I tossed you out! What kind of friend does that?!"

"B-buh-but… but we're not frieeeeends! I made you hate me! I broke our friendship! I'm the worst friend in the universe!!!"

"... No. I'm the worst friend. I said some awful things. You needed me and I ignored it. You were not mentally sound at that time, yet I ignored your needs and could only think about that robot. I betrayed you. I'm so very sorry."

Spamton cried louder, unable to think of anything else to say and just letting out all of these big emotions that had been building up for years on end. Swatch sighed and gently ran a wing down his back, trying to soothe him from his crying fit.

They felt… almost relieved. Sure, their guest was bawling his eyes out, but it seemed like he really needed to let it all out. Hell, maybe they should also have a good cry with him. Might alleviate some of the stress they had built up.

"D-d-d-does th-this mean w-we're… c-c-can we be f-fr-friends again???"

They were left completely stunned by that question. That was probably one of the last things they had expected to hear from him. Despite the fact that he seemed to take on the guilt of their falling out, they weren't prepared for him to be so willing to mend things again. 

Maybe it was just the medication talking. Maybe he was just high off his ass and saying the craziest things he could think of. But they liked to believe he was being completely genuine.

"If you would like that, then I would be beyond happy. I have missed you so much and I've felt incredible guilt for what I said. How could I have said something so cruel to a hurting friend? If you forgive me, then-"

They were interrupted as Spamton buried his face in their chest, sobbing and shaking. He was barely keeping his grip on Sky anymore, which worried Swatch a little. They didn't want him to drop the kid or anything!

"... Spamton. Perhaps it would be best if I take Sky while you get some rest."

"NO! DON'T TAKE MY BABY!"

"Spamton. You can barely hold onto them. You'll drop them."

"I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!"

They groaned nervously and glanced over at Eggshell for help. He put his hands up and shook his head, not sure what to do either.

"... Hm… alright. Then… what if you hold onto Sky and… I'll hold onto you? So you won't accidentally drop them?"

Ok. Maybe that was a stupid suggestion. Sky seemed to be able to keep their own balance and Swatch wasn't sure they should be offering such a thing to someone they haven't spoken to for years. It was a little forward. But they weren't entirely thinking clearly either. They were just so overwhelmed that their reasoning wasn't working properly.

Spamton stopped sobbing and looked up at them wide eyed, a few stray tears still trickling down his face. He seemed to be stunned for only a second before a bright grin grew out onto his cheeks.

"Y-y-yes! I… I would… that would make me really really really happy! Please?"

The bird's hammering heart finally settled at his hopeful look. It was like having the world lifted off their shoulders. 

So they sat themselves down onto the bed and carefully moved Spamton and Sky onto their lap, wrapping them both up in the blanket and then holding them securely.

"Mmmmm~. You're so warm~."

"Thank you. I hope you're comfy. Both of you!"

"Mhm~! I'm snug and cozy! Are you, Sky?"

"Papa n Swash."

Swatch couldn't help but laugh at the sight of the two being curled up against them, looking so peaceful and content. They looked over at Eggshell, who seemed to be talking with Ivory at the door. When he noticed Swatch looking at him, he cut the conversation and walked over to them.

"Is everything going well, Master Swatch?"

"... Yes. Everything is going better than well. Would you mind if I… um…"

"Not at all. It seems his condition is stabilizing due to you being present, so do whatever you need to."

Ivory walked up behind him and smiled brightly at the cuddle bundle.

"Aaaaw~. Now that is just too precious! Hold on! I gotta take a picture!"

"Ivory… that's not appropriate-"

"Oh hush you! It's fine! Don't be so serious all the time!"

The other Swatchling sighed as she brought out her phone. Meanwhile, Swatch scootched further onto the bed, getting comfortable with their back against the headboard as they ran their fingers through Spamton's hair. They held him close to their chest, feeling such a great sense of bliss from having him present. Having Spamton with them, happy and safe.

They couldn't have wished for anything more.

Chapter Text

…

…

…

… He felt… numb.

Spamton had been in a blank, dreamless state for so long. He couldn't think. He couldn't feel. He had just existed. Existed with nothing that needed to be done. No responsibilities. No overwhelming thoughts. No hurt.

… No Sky.

That was the only thing that gave him the power to break out of that dark void he was floating in and come back down to earth.

But when he did, his head felt very weird. It felt… floaty. Fuzzy even. He realized that he had to still be asleep. But he still wanted Sky to be by his side. Maybe if he begged for them, this fictitious Swatchling would bring them to him.

He had cried as loud as he could, reasoning that maybe his dreams would take pity on him and bring him that bundle of joy he loved so much.

And they did.

Along with Swatch.

After Spamton had showered Sky in all the kisses he had the energy to give, he finally took notice of the butler beside him.

And he just started spilling his entire heart out for them, hoping that his dream Swatch would be forgiving and kind to him. That they would grant him some mercy in his god awful life.

They had. They had told him everything he ever wanted to hear them say. They were just the Swatchling that he fell for back in the day. 

They offered to hold him. He accepted it eagerly.

It was the best dream Spamton had ever had. It was so wonderful and comforting. He could even feel the warmth of Swatch's arms holding him safely. He never ever ever wanted to wake up from it. He wanted to stay in their arms forever.

…

…

… Then he felt pain.

He woke up slowly, his head throbbing like mad. He mentally cursed and dismayed his lost dream. He remembered it, not very clearly, but he could still feel the lingering warmth. 

He desperately wanted it back. 

But he noticed a movement in his arms, which he looked down towards. It was Sky. They were still with him. He… never handed them over to Swatch. He couldn't do it. He was too weak to give them up. He was selfish. He…

The second sensation was the one that had him going tense, staying totally still in fear of whatever it was that touched him.

Oh god! Is it a Maus?! Am I back in the trash?! Oh god! What have I done?!

Then he felt it again, this time more mentally present to examine the feeling. It was soft, gentle, a smooth motion going down his back. Then it disappeared, only to reappear a few seconds later. The process continued, rubbing his back repetitively.

It felt nice. It helped him gather his thoughts a bit and take in his surroundings.

He was… in a room? Had he run back home to Click without realizing it? 

No. That's not possible. Click… wouldn't welcome him back after what he said. But then, where was he?

He heard gentle humming from above him, sounding so calm and joyful. It made him carefully move his head to check what was making that noise.

It was Swatch.

They were looking off towards another corner of the room, smiling brightly. They seemed lost in thought. They just hummed to themselves and kept petting Spamton without a care in the world.

He then realized that he was currently swaddled up in a blanket with Sky, which was being held by the butler. Immediately, a million questions started popping up in his head. Most of them went something like:

How the hell did I get here?

Why is Swatch holding me?

And

What happened while I was out?

He was so confused. Everything felt like such a blur. He could barely remember anything after leaving Click's house, just bits and pieces of events. He couldn't even begin trying to organize or contextualize them.

"Hey… awake so soon?"

Spamton inhaled sharply, realizing that Swatch noticed him waking up.

"E-e-eeeeh… y-y-yes?"

"You should go back to sleep. You need a lot of rest to recover from whatever you're sick with."

Sick? I'm not sick! What makes them say that?!

"I… uuuh… I don't f-feel like [you snooze, you lose]."

Swatch looked shocked at the ad interruption. It wasn't even that loud, yet they seemed startled.

"Oh no… the glitches are back. The medicine must be wearing off. How are you feeling?"

"Medicine [herbs]? Wh-what are you…?"

Swatch shifted and pulled Spamton in closer, gently rubbing the side of his head.

The sensation that brought him was… indescribable. 

Spamton would never describe himself as… physically affectionate. He only really cuddled with Sky and would occasionally hug the other Addisons. There has been a lot more of that recently for… obvious reasons.

But… for some strange reason, the touch he got from Swatch had him melting. Their feathers were so silky and soft, their touch was gentle, yet firm with its deliberate movement. It felt like… there was care behind it. Care for him as a person. They were meant just for him. 

"Spamton? Hey. Did you hear me?"

He snapped back to attention and blinked confusedly, his head feeling like it was in this weird fog. He looked up at them with half lidded eyes, trying to focus.

"Huh? [We are truly sorry], what did you [say 'what' again!]?"

"I asked how you were feeling. Like, three times."

"Oh… I feel [lighter than air] headed. And… [1000 piece puzzles!]. Why am I here? Why… are you [holding out for a good sale?]?"

"Umm… sorry, I'm not entirely sure what you are saying. Those glitches can be pretty confusing. But… you're here because… well you came here! I found you shouting outside my door. You were clutching Sky in your arms, then you fainted."

Oh. Right. He did remember a little bit of that. He failed. He couldn't be the bigger man and give Sky a better life. He was selfish. He had assumed that Swatch would simply toss him out in the trash after spotting him.

"But… I'm… Why…?"

He was cut off by a hand in his hair, the thumb rubbing his scalp pleasantly. He sighed heavily and sank all his weight into them, smiling in contentment.

"I think it's best if you don't think about it too hard, Spam. You're not fully recovered. And it seems the medicine is still in your system, so you might be feeling a little… shall we say 'intoxicated'?"

"Mmmm~... Huh? Am I high on [narcotics]?"

Swatch chuckled at his blunt statement and moved to rub the back of his head, earning a pleased groan.

"Yes. You are. Now, try to sleep them off, would you?"

"... Why… are you so nice to me? I… I thought I [betrayed] your [trust no one]. Don't you… [hate me with every fiber of your being]?"

Swatch put a hand to their chest, making the ad whine at the absence of the hand. They looked shocked by the statement.

"Spam… I suppose you might not remember. You were pretty out of it earlier. But… you apologized to me for what you did. But it's really my fault. You were in desperate need of help. I didn't act like a friend to you. And I'm sorry for that."

That did sound familiar. 

"So… that wasn't a dream?"

"No. It was very real. And if you still stand by your request earlier, then I'd still like to be friends again."

"… … … … …"

Spamton was stunned. He remembered saying all that now, yes. But… the thought that it wasn't a dream was unthinkable. In fact, this couldn't be real either! Swatch was too proud to ever give in to a pitiful broken marionette like him.

"... … … Am I in [heaven]?"

Swatch let out a surprised laugh, once again running their smooth feathers along his skin. They caressed his shoulder and his back while chuckling, making him moan softly from the calm it brought him.

"No. I'm sorry to say. But I hope this will work as a substitute."

He looked down at Sky, sleeping peacefully in his arms. He looked up at Swatch, who smiled brightly down at him. 

It was better than a substitute.

"Mhm. It… [yawn.] It will… do…"

"Good. Then try to rest a bit more. If anything hurts, let me know and I'll get you some pain killers."

Spamton just nodded before getting comfy again, head resting against their chest. He could hear their heart. It… sounded faster than he expected from their calm attitude. Maybe they were actually shy. Heh. That thought had him smiling big.

*~*~*

Click walked down the stairs quietly after taking a nap, feeling a little better. Turns out, sleep can help reduce anxiety quite a bit. Who knew?

The other three were sitting on their couch, talking amongst themselves. As soon as they noticed Click enter, the mood changed. Banner immediately crossed his arms and glared at Flash, who looked really sheepish and ashamed. Survey just smiled at them and patted the spot on the couch beside him. 

They walked over and sat down, sighing tiredly and leaning against his shoulder. He huffed softly and patted their back.

"... So! I'm glad to see you're feeling a little better! Which is good because FLASH wanted to tell you something" Banner said pointedly as he threw another glare at the yellow woman, who groaned and looked down at the floor bashfully.

"Um… I uh… I'm really sorry for yelling like that. I… I… jumped the gun and thought you… ya know? It was super uncool of me and I'm sorry. So I'm giving you one free Flash Favor card to redeem whenever. Make me pay for a meal, give you a hug, punch me in the face. Whatever you want."

Click let out a soft snort, finding the way she was acting a little funny, considering how stubborn she usually is.

"Wow… Banner really tore you a new one, huh?"

Not even a millisecond later did Banner burst into laughter, Flash looking shocked as a bright blush appeared on her face. Survey snickered and gave Click a friendly head pat.

"Uuuuh… y-yeah… anyways. Survey told us what you said. I'm… really god damn sorry for getting mad at you over that."

"It's fine. I know how close you and Spamton are. I'm surprised you didn't punch me."

"I-I-I would never PUNCH you!"

"Still-" Survey cut in. "- we should probably talk about what to do now."

"What do you mean?"

"We have to find Spamton, obviously!" Flash said seriously as she leaned against her knees.

"But… How are we going to even find him? I mean, he could be anywhere!" Banner added.

"Not anywhere! He has to be at his store front! The one in the trash zone!" Flash spoke again.

"We can't be sure. The only thing we do know is where Sky is, at the house of Queen's head butler. Only problem is… we have no clue where that is…" Click sighed sadly as they stared at their lap, mind cluttered with so many things that they could barely think straight.

Then they noticed Survey's hand tighten around their shoulder, bringing their attention over to him. He looked… flustered?

"... Survey?"

The other two also looked at him, only making his expression intensify. Banner squinted suspiciously and leaned closer to him.

"Survey… What's with that look? Are you hiding something from us?"

"... … … …" He averted his gaze, looking at a random figure on one of the shelves.

"SURVEY!" He said again.

"... … … Well… the thing is… I've met Swatch."

"YOU'VE WHAT?!?" everyone exclaimed simultaneously, making his blush more apparent.

"They… uh… they were the one who found Sky when they had disappeared and gave them back to me. I also met them on the day when Mike had been disturbing my sleep. They had been very kind to me on the bus. We talked a bit and… I ended up having a breakdown. They really helped a lot with calming me back down and… then… uuuh… "

"... Yeeeeees?" Flash asked impatiently.

"Well… since Click didn't answer my calls… they uh... Th-they invited me to sleep over for a night…"

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Everyone just stared at him with this look of total disbelief. The silence dragged on for a little too long for comfort.

"... … … Are… are you saying that-"

"DID YOU SLEEP WITH QUEEN'S BUTLER!?!" Flash interrupted Banner as she stood up from the couch, staring at him.

"N-N-NO!!! GOD NO! I didn't sleep with anyone aside from their pillows and blankets!" He tried to defend himself.

"Then… what's with the reaction?" Click softly inquired, once again making him blush nervously.

"W-well… the uh… the… they live with the rest of the Swatchlings in one big house. And… apparently they're very… 'service oriented'."

"... What?"

"They… pretty much doted on me the entire time, acting all concerned and trying to tend to any need I may have had."

"..."

"They were very kind and sweet, but also… forward."

"... Holy crap dude. You are simping so hard."

Survey was taken aback by Flash's sudden statement, putting a hand to his chest and pulling the beanie over his face in shame.

"P-point is! I know where they live!"

"Well… sh-should we go there then?" Banner asked nervously.

"Hell yeah we should! Let's go right the hell now! We need to ask that Swish person if they saw Spamton!" Flash said with a serious, impatient tone, slamming her open palm on the table. Click yelped nervously, causing her to curse softly before apologizing.

"It's Swatch. And I don't think that's a good idea" Survey commented.

"What?! Why?!"

"Well for starters, I have work I need to get to later. Can't really skip out any more than I already have. Plus, we don't wanna overwhelm poor Spamton or Swatch with all of us bombarding them."

Flash let out another curse, realizing she couldn't skip out on her work either. Her sales would tank if she did. Banner confirmed the same for him. Then everyone's eyes landed on the pink person in the room, making them look around nervously.

"M-me?!"

"You were the one who threw Spamton out after all. An apology from any of us wouldn't mean anything. You need to be the one to talk with him. But don't worry! You have all of us on speed dial. We're here for you!" Survey assured with a bright smile, hugging them closer and nuzzling their forehead comfortingly. 

"Yeah. We're here for you. If you really really need help, I'll abandon whatever table I'm making in a heartbeat! Just say the word!" Flash gave a thumbs up.

They already felt scared and nervous about any potential danger that may arise. But at the same time, they felt like this was something they had to do. They had to find Spamton and apologize for what they did, what they said. They couldn't keep hiding behind others to help handle their conflicts for them. They had to do this themselves.

"... Alright. I'll head out after I get some brunch. Please… wish me good luck."

"Of course. We always will" Banner assured with a gentle smile.

"I'll send you the street address and you can head out. Well keep an eye out for Spamton too. I'll try looking around for him on my break. I'd suggest you both do the same. Good luck, Click."

"... Thank you, Survey. Thank you, guys."

*~*~*

Sky let out a small groan as they sat up and stretched. Weird. Why weren't papa swaddling them with Swatch? In fact… where were they? They looked around the new area they found themselves in. It looked somewhat familiar. But they couldn't put their finger on it.

Then they turned around and saw a spinning blue and purple striped cone and immediately realized where they were.

"Hello, Hello! The lightner I know! So nice to see you back so soon! Surprised I am, that it happened at noon!"

They turned their head to the side, seeing… something, alright.

It was Jevil, that much they had already figured out. But… he wasn't… in the same room as them. He was just across the way, but he was in a completely different location at the same time. He was sitting in a ragged, patchwork armchair, besides an open fire that shone a bright blue. It looked warm and welcoming.

The baby started running over towards him, entering into this new place with just a few steps. Then they found that the spinning room was the one that was so far away instead, despite just having been there.

Their head was starting to hurt.

"Worry not, my friend! It's pointless to understand how this world bends! It is a dream, dream after all! We shape it with our own uncontrolled thoughts!"

"Jabu! Why me hewe?"

"Ahu hu hu hu! Some things even I can't tell! Just because I'm big, big, doesn't mean I know all there is, is. A grown-up is only a baby whose body is turning, height comes with age, knowledge comes with learning."

Sky pouted and crossed their arms, giving him a grumpy glare. He laughed loudly at them, floating up from his chair and rolling in the air. Sky took the opportunity to look around a bit more.

Nothing too special. Most of the fabric, and even the walls of the place, had a patchwork look to it. There were strange decorations here and there, very different from what they were used to.

"Do you like the new place? Must admit, quite a derivative space. Can't be helped, helped. It came from my memories after all."

Jevil then flew down towards them and swiftly swept them up into the air, floating back down into the armchair and plonking Sky down on his lap.

"Now, you were eager for chit-chat last time, were you not?"

Sky looked up at him, leaning their head back to see him properly, if not a little upside down.

"... Jabu?"

"Yes, yes, little justice?"

"... Papa no fee good. Papa wuv me, but papa no wan' me. I's confuzzd."

Jevil chuckled and started playing around with their hands casually, kinda like a kid would do with an adult's hand. They found that… mildly amusing.

"You've got it wrong, wrong. Papa has wanted you all along. He does not believe, believe in his own morals, thinking he'd have the power to go against them. You are but a conundrum in his life, you are. Turning his self-image very bizarre."

"... How yu no?"

"Do I know? Or am I speaking for show? I say what I please, for it's but a game, game! I speak my truth, what I see, see, what I hear, hear."

Sky did not look pleased by him avoiding the question. He just giggled and ruffled their hair.

"... … … Jabu?"

"Little justice."

"Hoo awe yu?"

Jevil stopped his hand movement and sat quiet for a moment. It didn't look to be from shock or anything. He just seemed to be mulling the question over.

"... Would you accept that you answered your own inquiry?"

Sky shook their head vigorously.

"What moxie, moxie this one has. Very well. I am but a doll. A toy! A card. I exist as part of the game. But not many need a joker to play, play. So I decided to play my own game. A numbers game! Numbers game!"

They listened to him talk, noticing how he was getting worked up as he spoke. He seemed to grow more excited with every word.

"I played with the toys as a toy myself! It was oh so exciting! The chaos, chaos! The fighting, fighting! I would see how many swings it would take until their health reached 0! Mwahahahahaha! Oh what fun, fun!"

"... You pway bad?"

"It's all just a game, so what's so wrong with playing bad guy?"

"Den why you no hu't me?"

"Because you are too powerful for even me to fight! If I took you on, it would be good night!"