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Language:
English
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Published:
2022-04-30
Words:
576
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
11
Kudos:
24
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3
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539

Like Moths to a Flame

Summary:

Pansy examines her dislike for the "popular girl" at work Hermione Granger and attempts to ignore the glaringly obvious reasons why.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Like Moths to a Flame

 

Pansy gritted her teeth. She was sure the headaches she had been getting were a result of her jaw being permanently clenched at work.

She cast a glance over to the desk where a group of witches were crowded around, drawn there like moths to a flame, giggling and whispering about fuck knows what.

Hermione Granger had joined their team at the Department of Law 6 months ago and immediately become “the popular girl” with a huge number of friends and admirers. Things had certainly changed since their Hogwarts days.

What was it about Hermione that everyone adored so much!? Honestly, Pansy just didn’t understand it. She would begrudgingly admit that Hermione was pretty, but she was so annoyingly upbeat (this wasn’t normal- Pansy didn’t trust anyone that was always in a good mood). So supercilious and self-righteous. There was also the fact that she could be downright mean.

She had asked Seamus once- one of her only friends at the ministry- trying to get a wizard’s perspective. Even he was smitten with her and had babbled on about her hair and eyes and something about being so clever and funny. Ugh.

Pansy reached up to touch her own plain, straight hair and sighed. She had never been admired like that, nor, she suspected, would she ever be. She just didn’t have the ability to interact with others in that way that Hermoine seemed to. To be charming and alluring, attracting wizards and witches alike into her clique.

Yes, she was being irrational but even just seeing Hermione was enough to cause a boiling irritation to rise up in her and make her want to scream. In her more lucid moments, the word jealousy whispered its way into her thoughts, but she banished it quickly. She was not going to admit this was her issue. She was not going to admit that a tiny part of her craved the adoration and friendship. To admit that was to admit weakness.

Pansy had tried making friends of course, striking up conversations with witches in an attempt to curb the loneliness she felt as another Friday night rolled by with her sitting by herself at home with a bottle of wine. And they were polite and friendly enough. But they never really seemed to want to get to know her and she could never quite bring herself to pursue anything beyond a conversation about the latest show they were binging or the weather. Pansy would never put herself out there and let her guard down. That was inviting rejection and heartbreak and she had had enough of that to last a lifetime.

There was also the fact that Pansy was so intolerant, would become so irritated and annoyed by one little thing they did or said. And so, the result was Pansy always on the outside looking in.

The witches burst into fits of laughter at something Hermione said. Pansy wouldn’t get anything done sitting here. She gathered her papers together and stood, shooting a glance of irritation at the group as she stalked past to go and sit in the empty meeting room, her name whispered by one of them as she walked past.

Pretending not to care she slammed the door and began work again. There was no escape, she was stuck with Hermione Granger and her fan club. A daily reminder of everything she wanted but didn’t know how to achieve.

Notes:

This drabble was written in one sitting and is regrettably un-betaed with only a quick re-read. I knew if I dwelt on it too much, I wouldn’t have the courage to publish it and so please forgive any errors.

The idea for this fic was in my head when I woke up this morning and I had to write it down then and there. At the risk of psychoanalysing myself too much it comes from the fact that I am finding it increasingly difficult to be in the fandom (at least the circles that I skirt around the edges of) with a bombardment of Hermione centred fics, discussions and adulation. I think I might be the only person on the planet who does not like Hermione Granger. Yeah, I know. I need to get over it.

As a writer for Pansy, I feel a kinship with her and how I imagine she might feel if she were in a similar situation. And so this was the result.