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“I literally cannot believe that you got a B+ in English.” Tori says, clearly surprised.
“Well, what can I say? I’m just that smart.” Michael brushes his hand through his curly hair and Tori can’t help but notice how beautiful he looks.
“Remember when we were friends at Higgs and you told me that you hadn’t gotten above a C in any subject since Year 8.” Tori retorts, taking a sip from her oh-so-loved diet lemonade.
“...”
“...”
“... So. How’s Charlie been?” Michael asks as he sprawls out on Tori’s bed.
“Changing the subject, I see. He’s been fine. He’s... He’s Charlie.” Tori sighs as she does the same as Michael, after placing her drink near her bed, “I think he’s getting better, but I can’t help but wonder if...” Tori stops. Michael doesn’t need to know this. It’s probably just stupid, anyways.
“Tori,” Michael looks over to Tori and brings his hand over hers to intertwine them, “You know I love you, right? And you don’t have to tell me what you’re thinking right now, but I promise that whatever you say will be completely ok. If you’re not ready to say it right now, just text me, or call me, or do whatever at any time. I will always be here to help if you need it.”
Tori doesn’t respond because she’s worried that if she does, her voice will give out and she’ll start sobbing. She doesn’t like full-on sobbing in front of people.
Michael squeezes her hand and that’s what breaks her. She sits up and sobs. Michael sits up as well, and hugs her. Tears keep on streaming down her face, and even after she wipes them, they keep on coming. And Michael is there to comfort her, like he always is. He’s doing his best to calm her, but Tori can barely hear him because everything is muffled, and she’s sobbing too loudly, and it would probably be easier to hear if she wasn’t so focused on making sure she can breathe.
One thing is painfully obvious to Tori.
She is having a panic attack.
Michael brings the two to sit on the floor, against the wall. Tori barely notices this. Maybe because she can barely see anything due to the tears in her eyes, maybe because all of her senses are clouded. Tori brings her knees up to her chest, while one arm is laying over top of them and the other is continuously wiping away tears. Michael takes the hand laying over her knees and holds it while still commenting reassuring things. Michael is sure that Charlie or Oliver can hear Tori, and sure enough, there comes a knock on the door.
“Tori? Are you ok?” Oliver asks as he peaks through the door. He looks at Tori, then Michael with worried eyes.
“Oliver. Can you go get Charlie? Tori doesn’t feel too great right now.” Oliver nods and runs off to Charlie’s room.
Tori has lost her ability to breathe, and can only occasionally take a breath with a choked sob. She has scooched into Michael, just looking for some safety.
The two hear the door creak as Charlie walks through. Charlie has had his fair share of panic attacks, so Michael figures he’d be better help than himself. Charlie slides down the wall to sit next to his sister, and he puts one hand on her knee.
“Victoria? Can you hear me?” Charlie asks, somehow both concerned and calm.
It takes a second, but slowly Tori nods.
“Good. That’s good. What do you need?”
“Charlie... help me... I can’t...” Tori chokes through sobs. She’s pretty sure she’s dying and she just wants Charlie to help her. God. Please someone help her. This crying is different than when she broke down about solitaire to Charlie. No. She felt stressed and crazy then, but now she feels helpless and desperate. And it’s definitely different than when she found Becky and Ben fucking Hope making out.
“It’s ok. Take a breath for me.”
Tori shakes her head, weakly, hoping Charlie would understand what she means,
“Yes, you can, Victoria. It won't get better if you don’t try.”
Eventually, with this cycle of trying to breathe again, and messing it up, Tori has managed to breathe normally and she’s barely crying now. She’s resting her head on Charlie’s shoulder, with one hand holding his, and the other holding Michael’s.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Tori repeats that as if it’s the only thing she can say.
“Hey. It’s my job to say sorry for stupid things,” Charlie chuckles and nudges Tori, “So... what was this about?”
Tori doesn’t answer for a second. “I’m sorry.”
“I already told y-”
“No, it’s not stupid this time. I don’t want to make you feel worse, and I don’t want you to feel bad for it, so I’m sorry.”
“Victoria?”
“It’s... I can’t help but wonder... what if... Charlie, what if one day it’s just me and Oliver?”
And it feels like someone just shot Charlie in the chest. “It won’t. It- It won’t ever be just you two, ok? I swear.”
Tori wipes her eyes, because apparently, she started crying again, and apparently, Charlie started crying too, because he does the same.
“I’m sorry. Victoria, I’m sorry.”
“I told you not to feel bad.” Tori frowns.
“I’m-”
“Don’t say it.” The siblings chuckle. The three sit there for a moment in comfortable silence when Charlie’s phone dings. A text from “Nick <3” read: When are you coming back? Oliver keeps beating me in Mario Kart :(
“Oh my god. Nick’s here? I’m sorry,” Tori becomes really sad at this fact. Maybe it’s because Nick has helped Charlie become better and Tori tore him away from that, but Tori feels incredibly bad, “I’m sorry. You didn’t have to-” Tori is cut off by Charlie.
“No. When Oliver runs into my room and tells me that you’re crying on your floor, I’d feel worse about leaving you and Michael to deal with it than leaving my boyfriend alone for a little bit. You shouldn’t feel bad.” Tori half-smiles at this.
“OK, ok, now go get your boyfriend.” Tori chuckles as Charlie gets up to leave.
“You’re sure you don’t need anything?” Charlie asks standing at the door. Tori shakes her head and Charlie leaves. Michael pulls Tori into a tight hug.
“I love you so much, do you know that?” Michael says, resting his chin on her head.
“I love you too, Michael Holden.” Tori smiles.
“Victoria?”
“Hmm?
Michael pulls her chin up and kisses her passionately, yet softly. Once they pull away, they look each other in the eye and smile.
“Let’s go back up to your bed, ok?” Michael suggests.
“Mm.” Tori and Michael break apart and Michael gets up, but Tori makes no move to get up, instead sprawling out on her floor.
“Come onnnnn.” Michael complains.
“Fine,” Tori weakly gets up and plops down onto her bed, Michael following. “Michael,” He looks over to her to see her pointing. He follows her gaze and sees her glass of diet lemonade. He chuckles and hands it to her. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Victoria finishes her glass and sets it on the floor near her bed. The two lay down, facing each other, with Tori’s face shoved into the crook of the other’s neck. Eventually, the two fall asleep at around 1 am, with their legs intertwined and Michael hugging Tori.